#can you guess what im considering rn? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fishy-lava · 6 months

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i keep deciding i want to grow out my hair again because i miss braiding it but every time ive tried i just get frustrated with it and shave my head again because hair is a sensory nightmare and i have so little patience for it

#why is hair so annoying #like i really like having braids bc i think theyre cute but also having anything other than a buzzcut makes me want to tear my skin off #also my hair grows really fast and is super thick and i hate having to deal with it #cutting it all off every couple months is the most efficient way to deal with it #actually for the past 2 or 3 years ive developed a habit of shaving my head through the summer and spring and letting it grow out when it #starts to get cold #and i always go “hey maybe ill actually let it grow this time” and then spring comes around and i cut it all off again #can you guess what im considering rn?#if you guessed “cutting off all your hair again” you'd be right #i need to find a hairstyle that got some part of it long enough to braid and then have the rest be short #would it require actually maintaining? probably idk it might be worth a shot tho #my hair hasnt been long enough to easily braid since i was like 13 and i miss it :(

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kitamars · 1 year

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oh no! more ginhiji

#hhhhhhhhhhhh theyyy areeee eatinggggg myyyy BRAIIIIIN #using them as a coping mechanism to avoid the horrors of silver soul #i reached the second half and i. i need a breather #i’m trying to figure out what my favourite dynamic of ginhiji is so i can make comics about it later but rn my brain is just like #haha they want to punt each other into the sun yet they are inexplicably drawn to each other so they may as well burn together #gin san being like oh well i guess this is happening now?? and toshi trying to gaslight himself out of this waking nightmare #it’s very funny to consider #they are very much a romantic comedy but more emphasis on the comedy aspect with tragedy bits coming out of nowhere to kill you dead #so like gintama yk #also hijikata’s hair is a nightmare to draw im trying so hard #girl help #sakata gintoki #hijikata toushirou #ginhiji #hijigin #gintoki x hijikata #hijikata x gintoki #there are so many tags for one pairing hhhh #gintama #ok bye

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flufflecat · 9 months

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anyone else finding it really, really personally nauseating that the pjo show would remove gabes entire character and replace him with someone less abusive to make sally a Strong Female Character. like wow, im sure glad that youve proven that women who are abused are the REAL threat to feminism, and they should just try talking back more!! what a good message to send to abused kids. sorry, kid. i guess you just didnt argue hard enough and #Own your abuser into seeing how cool and strong you are. what do you mean that arguing with an abuser will only make them hurt you more? but look how snappy and cool and feminist sally is now!!! youre clearly just being abused wrong.

#pjo #gabe ugliano #any other kids who related to percy feeling a bit uhhhhhhhh like shit rn #saw a post saying how sally being 'less simpering and helpless' is a good thing #like fuck you. jesus fucking christ.#can you think about what youre saying for 2 fucking seconds.#lemme just go tell my mom that she needs to stand up for herself more brb #oh wait i tried that as a kid and guess what it got us. more abuse!#changing sallys story for the purpose of making her a 'stronger' character is disgusting in ways that i cant put into words #women dont have to be abused Well to be worthy of sympathy #and getting angry didnt fucking help me get out of being abused #this was the only story where my sister and i felt seen and were DEFINITELY not the only people who related to it #taking that away from kids who went through our situation is awful #and the fact that anyone would consider it necessary to... idk. fix how the book portrayed abuse? it hurts more than i thought it wo #fluffle talks #negative #personal #sorry im not tagging this post very well #i dont really have the energy to find the right tags rn

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wolfisland · 7 months

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genuinely worried whatevers wrong with me is covid. the rapid test says no but at this point those things are useless to me. but its been triggering such awful fucking body pains that if this is a flare up this is one of the worst ones ive ever had

#tbh ive had covid before and it was nothing compared to my chronic pain flare ups #but i guess that makes sense considering im always always in pain #the aftermath of the havoc it wrought on my body and immune system was way way worse #mind you id already been mostly vaccinated by the time i caught covid (missed my 3rd shot)#which is likely the only reason it didnt half kill me #so dont take any of this as me saying covids no biggie #bc what i do mean is that my flare ups are a separate kind of hell that i cant at least mostly sleep through #i slept through covid. fortunately #but rn i am definitely sick and i actually have no idea if its like a cfs fibro episode from stress #or if its smth contagious #so it just means no leaving the apartment except to get my meds or see my dr if i can avoid it i guess #txt

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 month

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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes #just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely #unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about #just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern #certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them #anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume #when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig #might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch #[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay #if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it #chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good #tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so #going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe #so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane #[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again #subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities #just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word #anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime

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toytulini · 19 days

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it is baffling to me that ppl keep insisting "if its not sprite then what IS it tho?" and seemingly do not...retain the recipes that are being shared. like you dont have to memorize them its just repeatedly "is lemonade not sprite though? how is it not sprite?"

"its lemon juice, water, and sugar"

"is it not the same as sprite?" no we just told u. does that sound like sprite to you. does sprite give you the vibe of juicing some lemons on a hot summer day? the lemonade version closest to Sprite over here, in terms of Being Lemonade, is still Notably Different from sprite, or any other soda, is probably Minute Maid, a highly processed branded lemonade that you can occasionally get from soda fountains (DESPITE! NOT BEING CARBONATED! similar to how they somehow dispense iced or sweet tea from soda fountains) it sometimes comes in a can or 2L bottle similar to soda, in the soda isle. and its Not Soda. its not Carbonated. its Trying To Pretend So Hard To Be Real Lemonade. it tastes like lemonade thats a bit sad. it is far more lemonade than SPRITE will ever be. if yall were simply insisting that lemonade is carbonated, that it was like, fizzy minute maid, that would be less offensive than calling sprite lemonade. which is Insane. good god.

#toy txt post #it is a beverage simple enough that *I* could make it #you could Find Out #you dont Have To. but its right there #see Here its easy even if you dont want to Juice Lemons cos they sell powdered lemonade that is so so decent #countrytime my beloved. im sure Real Lemonade drinkers might shit on me even for that #and YES god Victorians did get crazy with the fizzy lemonade they had those like glass bauble things to add bubbles that sometimes just #exploded. but the fact that you got so removed from it that you're calling sprite lemonade 😭. youre calling FANTA lemonade? surely not the #orange soda??? at least call it orangeade or some shit. it would still be wrong but like. christ alive these are different fruits #the idea of calling VIOLENTLY orange most artifical shit ive ever tasted in my life soda lemonade is just. sending me #like i Like An Orange Soda. thats Extremely Not Lemonade #idk like we have Processed ass lemonades. i tend to have those cos im lazy. but i Could Make Real Lemonade #my Favorite processed lemonade rn is the calypso brand. its so flavorful. im also susceptible to the cute glass bottle unfortunately.#i really like the strawberry lemonade and the blue one #sigh #this is probably akin to saying that apple juice is the same as cider. or smth. except no its still worse #also our ciders are different bc alcoholic or Hard Cider is not considered the Default here but i understand its the default elsewhere #anyway. sorry to all my non american friends about bringing up Lemonade Discourse Yet Again #if we ever visit. in either direction. i will have to try to make you some proper lemonade so you can understand how egregious it is #to hear it called 'sprite'#and also so u can have some yummy lemonade #it hits so much better on a hot summer day than sprite fr #sneaking premixed strawberry lemonade over in those little alcohol bottles they allow on airplanes. i am arrested at customs for trying to #impose Big Lemonade into what is clearly the territory of Big Sprite #anyway i think if travelling americans recieved Actual Cloudy Lemonade that Happened To Be Fizzy they might be like oh shit! why is it #fizzy! did you mix sprite in it or something? it would still be DISTINCT from sprite. the fact that yall think theyre the same.....#thats some real. mint chocolate chip ice cream tastes like toothpaste shit. No The Fuck It Doesnt what are you on #for one toothpaste is sharper and stronger usually. unless youre using the mild mint ones i guess. i Dont. for 2 it leaves you mouth #feeling fresh and clean. mint ice cream is yummy for sure #but it does not leave my mouth feeling clean or fresh or even give me minty breath or anything. smh

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gibbearish · 23 days

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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest

#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression #both on its own and as a companion to ssris #psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression #so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default #state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it #origibberish #also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my #psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant #might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time #and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went #'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick #like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows #'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when #trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time #ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations #om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL #they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk #it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN #this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god #just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is #really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would #then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that #of withdrawal. a famously shit experience

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jazzzzzzhands · 1 year

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UWWAAAAA thank you thank you guys!! i know this isnt a lot really in the grand scheme, but its a lot to me!! im very sentimental about it actually QwQ ive been under-the-radar for just oh so long (8 years on tumblr!!) and just throwing my art out anyways because i love it! ((If i am my only fan, so be it!!)) But lately to be having my art be loved and shared?? it makes me want to draw more! to play more! to get better and try new things!! Im so sorry i did not prepare a special art for this occasion! but i will let you know that i am making something... very special!!!

shhh i'm cooking!!

#ooooh what am i making???#smth very special!!#oops hand reveal! jk jk I dont care lmaoo #look at me making a mess!!#but yeah i cant draw rn cause im too fixated on this!!#if ur in the wh discord with me #u might know!!! ahahaha!! shh dont tell! i mean u might guess anyway ahahah.#i still consider myself an amature artist #a varied artist #an artist still learning and growing!!#even tho im over 30!!#let us romanticise still learning and growing as we are older!!!#let us romanticise amature art!!!#because you can see the FUN in it!!#there is something charming about art that isnt thought too hard on!! something looser! more whimsical!!#ppl are so scared to post their art cause its not of a certain quality!#and for most. ppl dont like or reblog art unless it is a certain quality #but the WH fandom LOVES messy art!!!#ive noticed!!#yall guys are amazing!!#yall love sketches!!!!#uwaaaa uwaaaa!! i talk too much!!#but fr thank you guys #do you like my clay mess? i do!!#ahh! im still talking ok!! im done!!#jazzisaspazz #1k followers #AND i block all the bots so haha!!!#man i really really love exclamation marks ahahaha

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eeunwoo · 11 months

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#hii.. im still not really here a lot re kpop its just not really like the most important thing in my life rn lol #but uh i guess my dog's passing is something i gotta deal on my own entirely. my mom seems pretty much over it without really taking me int #account at all. today shes even sorta like. making odd comments/jokes about it like 'i talk to toto sometimes' because we say this #weird lady on tv talking ab how she talks to deer heads. and i just stared at my mom like deadpan and just looked away #bc what the fuck. and ofc she wouldnt consider its not an ok thing to say . otherwise shes really like trying to make out that im being a #really good kid and taking care of her and her feelings bc shes inventing things in her head about me being extra nice and careful with her #shes like awww youre taking care of me <3 and im like no im actually treating you like you're a total stranger in my house because you #basically are. and anyway. im basically on my own like i always am. i just have to deal with it all alone. as always. which is like fine #its just im extra lonely and alone so <3 ive also been suicidal and really really on the edge. that's your alex update if anyone cares #to be completely honest it's been taking everything in me not to just od right now its all i can think about and i havent felt like it in #years. ive just been sleeping for 12 hours at a time lmao........ anyway yeah thats it?#mrow.org

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clownsnake · 4 months

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dokja doing his best time and time again to help junghyeok with regressor depression…. I see the sauce being cooked here

#it’s gay sauce #for gay people.#going post #Orv #tbh dokja I think you should just tell junghyeok everything at this point. not for gay reasons but to make things easier #these two work rlly well together when junghyeok isn’t trying to kill dokja imagine how they’d be if they were fully on the same page too #every day there’s a new fuckin dokkaebi. where do they keep getting these guys #and why do they keep getting cuntier #A THANOS SNAP???#choosing between a thanos snap and killing the strongest incarnation. alright everyone time to speed up on the killing nirvana thing I gues #Junghyeok relying on the predictability of knowing everything…. You can take the man out of the timeloop but you can’t take the timeloop ou #of the man #(I know he’s not out of his regressions but sh)#‘I can’t think of a way to correct this’ junghyeok aren’t you supposed to be smart? Stop being stupid #dokja gets me. that’s why he’s also a reader #Ohhh okay we’re having a Big Talk now. good job dokja #‘But the real problem is when you’ve finally managed to save the world’ THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!!!! DOKJA GETS ME #YOU CAN TAKE THE MAN OUT OF THE TIMELOOP BUT YOU CANT TAKE THE TIMELOOP OUT OF THE MAN!#unless junghyeok kicks his regressor’s depression in the ass and learns not to rely on knowing future scenarios so much.#and they’re on a rooftop…. The symsbsnolismm….#Oh wait dokja’s making a different point #ah. ptsd.#well that’s part of my argument I guess #Ohhhhh I love dokja getting to be a prophet rn. and junghyeok realizing he’s onto some shit #‘This world you’re about to abandon could be the only world where you can live to see it end as a human being’ OOOOF. OOF.#that’s heavy #Anyway time for comic relief. sorry Uriel but no gay sex yet #‘Who’s the strongest incarnation?’ Junghyeok: no doubt it’s me #……………………………….#DOKJA IS ALSO CONSIDERING HIMSELF THE STRONGEST?? GUYS

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munamania · 11 months

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something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love #what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it #why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties #of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often #so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk #and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore #i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them #. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec #but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd #but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness #but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it #that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too #and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch #now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do #something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope #and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude #this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post #ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting #all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever

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1022am · 10 days

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chat is it gay af for me to change my first name to spencer bc i imprinted on spencer reid at a young age like a baby duck? lmfao

#i do also just like the name in general but it would be a full lie if i said this wasnt a big part of the reason it sticks w me lol #bg: my legal first name starts w 's' already so i can keep my initials #cos i like my middle name idc that its 'feminine' fuck them if they cant take a joke #this is me like . day dreaming btw. im laying on my stomach w my knees bent & ankles crossed up in the air #like. idk i guess letting myself imagine i can actually go through w this or that like.#i'll actually ever be able to let myself go through w it.#anyway im trying to do it just for funsies bc im a hater and every time ive seriously considered this before ive ended up bullying myself #so yeah. im playing pretend but lowkey not really.#and idk i think spence is a cute nickname #bonus bg if you read this far my first name rn was given to me after my great grandmothers who had the same name. and idk thats sweet but.#they dont call my sister by my great grandfathers name ykwim?#biggest sigh in the world idk what im gonna do about this one guys :|#txt

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fettery-fetterie · 14 days

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(10pm) I wonder if it's too late for me to course correct my behavior towards Him. I feel it is

#echoes of the fettered #im just kinda thinking about it rn because it's like #hey why am i doing this again #why do I have such a passionate hatred for him #which i mean i know. kinda late to describe it rn but it's like #because i feel so powerless when it comes to him I'd rather fight with my teeth than just be compliant #even if it means biting when it isn't needed #and i guess a couple other things #in whichever case. i also feel it may be because of my bottled anger #it found an. all things considered. pretty meek target #you know it's rare for him to get genuinely mad or to retaliate #it's perfect #if anything im surprised it hasn't escalated to even worse things #I can't tell if it's mere discipline or love stopping me #in whichever case #do you think it's too late?#I don't think it's late enough to chsnge it. i. however. believe it's too late for the footprint to not be acknowledged by history anymore #I'll see what i can do

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the-acid-pear · 3 months

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Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.

#luly talks #my dreams #I'll peace like i can recollect it was weird #bc it literally was ME BUYING GROCERIES W MY DAD but then the line between when we ended and Michael and William started blurred #i remember the grocery store very well also bc it was very similar to the one i go always to but smaller and more sepia #it was dark for a grocery store like it was just letting sunlight in #pears were half off like some black friday offer so all the products were suuuper cheap #i saw one bottle of milky pear juice for like 1k. and the same w these 4 stacks of frozen waffles who were like 1070.#or this bottle of pear pancake mixture that had 2 or 4 lts #it was kind of when i went away that thr lines started blurring so let me tell you what i remember about this Afton:#he didnt seem. murderous. he was grocery shopping w his kid for fuck's sake 😭 i think he was even sitting somewhere while i ran back and #forth taken aback by these offers? like kinda dismissive at best #uh. Henry was brought up believe it or not. it was like... they broke up or something? like he was kinda upset about the mention but like #in a i dont want to explain why im not with him rn sort of way #very insecure he seemed. like he run into this woman who might've been someone but idk who was whom asked sbout henry and bro was SWEATING #you'd say dream william was a fucking loser he just got locked in thinking like what do i say and HOW do i say it #to make it sound casual but also not weird.#bc on top of all he also seemed to have some weird gender things going on bc he first instinct when trying to explain himself to the woman #(who i cannot stress enough was super friendly like a fucking neighbor or something just going hey hi! hows da family? ^_^)#was to refer to them both as girls as this jokey comradery Let's Ignore The Topic thing before going No That's Bad I Can't Say That #this whole internal monologue in my dream happened in a sort of comic panel thing btw where shit went from these warm browns and greens and #shit from the grocery store to jarring black and whites and reds as William tried to have a straight thought #looks wise unfortunately not a lot going on.though considering this was literally my dream getting turned over can we say my Afton is argie #something something my turn stealing from them etc etc or whatever #uh. brown hair. but not too dark. it was greying and that was making it lighter. also very angular face as you'd expect #high cheekbones pretty eyebrows no facial hair. hair was a bit longuish tho? like a messy ear length maybe?#he had a button up w buttons lose bc it's so hot and humid rn also sunglasses which i know 100% was influenced bc the last design i rbed #a little.before napping #also he had age makes too though his age was most visible in his scrawny long exposed neck #me/mike change was minimal bc we're both pale and brunette hit tag limit so hope y'all like my brain's oc i guess 😭

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manebioniclegali · 7 months

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Clearly people who say to just keep getting up at the same time each day aren't sleep deprived

#i get about two hours less sleep than i need every weekday and it absolutely sucks i am not making myself get up at an hour i hate #just to maintain what fragile sleep schedule i have bc i find it hard enough to get to bed before 1am regardless #let alone before midnight #and you expect me to kill myself getting up at the same time each day???? absolutely not #if i was able to wake up an hour later than i do then i might consider it but i hate that piece of ot advice bc it makes me wanna die #(metaphorically)#my ideal waking up time is actually 10am rn esp with how incapable i am of getting to bed sooner but that'll never happen :(#and what sucks is the job i might try to step into would just have shittier hours for me!!! I'd probably have to be there an hour sooner!#i would literally just want to pass away i can't do it i cant go to bed right away bc i need an hour and a half at least to unwind #BUT THATS CUTTING INTO MY EIGHT HOURS BUT IF I DONT DO THAT I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DESTRESS DURING THE WEEK #i need alone time at night and the only time i can is after my parents go to bed #man. can you guess when im making this post #sab speaks #sab rants #ive got another rant about how people say to skip breakfast but if i do without enough sleep I'll suffer #but thats for another post

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sammydem0n64 · 1 year

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Been rethinking the “Toffa is adopted by Pearo, Chazel and Dolat” lore if only bc. Y’know Pearo is meant to be the main parent but he’s an unemployed 25 year old whose only stable living situation is crashing on his older brother’s couch. Dolat is always traveling due to work as well so he won’t be rather active either. And Chazel is the most stable here largely no complaints actually. BUT there’s also the fact Toffa is in a VERY dangerous situation (her parents are gang members who forced her into their ranks at a young age, the longer she stays with them rhe more likely it is she’ll end up gravely injured or worse) and none of them are. Really equipped to handle that. At all? Pearo’s family is in the mafia yeah but the other two are completely defenseless 😭 they’re just some guys being thrown into the horrors out of nowhere because some teenage girl decided to latch onto their boyfriend out of spite . Much more interesting to dissect this tbh

#Like yes. they love each other as a family. or at least claim to!#but like. DO these three truly have the resources to actually be full on adoptive parents to this kid? and not just family figures?#Like in Phoenix and Picoda’s case like yeah. Phoenix still lives in his parents basement when Molly latches onto him but both he and Picoda-#-Have the resources to take care of her. Picoda has a house with Ket and enough money to feed cloth protect her etc #and also. Molly isn’t in a life or death situation living with Waffa. it’s not like this is time sensitive #Melphis May be emotionally stunted and shit too but we all know he’s in a position to take care of ALL of his adoptive kids 😭#But Pearo is literally homeless . not really the best conditions to be adopting a child who has very intensive needs #And Dolat + Chazel. honestly we’re really nonchalant about the Toffa thing #like yeah they care but they also didn’t put much thought into it. they’re just like ‘oh guess we have a daughter now’#not considering the work and care required. especially in this case where a gang may come busting down your door to take her back #Unless Pearo can speedrun getting his shit together and whatnot Toffa will probably lack a lot of the stuff a proper guardian can provide #Because yes they love her . but she needs more than that #they need to be more than just friends. people who like having her around and want to protect her from her shitty bio family #she needs so much more and. it’s ok to acknowledge you can’t fully provide that. that she’ll be better off living with someone else #because that’s what you would do For a loved one. youd let them thrive instead of being selfish and claiming you know what you’re doing #you can still be family just not in this nuclear context!#much to think abt #EDIT: THIS IS LIKE. OK THE WAY IM IMAGINING THIS IS IN A LEGAL GUARDIAN CONTEXT OBVS #Like I said they can still be family they can still see each other as family BUT this trio is not in the position to actually have a kid rn #She’s gotta live with someone(s) who can actually provide for her needs Y’know 😭 but they can still b family #clarifying bc of the previous examples . and didn’t want to have the vibe of ‘you can’t b adoptive or found family if you’re broke!!’ Y’know #it’s just a matter of fucking. legal guardianship and living situations and ‘can we actually fucking raise a kid properly or nah’

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