now that you're home, i dont have to be alone.
saad yousuf, twitter / vgk@dal 5.25.23 / adrienne rich, sleepwalking next to death / miro heiskanen, instagram / amal el-mohtar, this is how you lose the time war / x / Stars' top pick Miro Heiskanen talks at NHL draft / x / "the pull of you" by the national / dallas stars, instagram / Stars' top pick Miro Heiskanen talks at NHL draft / dallas stars, twitter / ernest hemingway, the garden of eden / miro heiskanen, instagram / x / dal@sea 3.11.23 / the letters of vincent van gogh / yle tv2 promo / lighthousekeeping, jeanette winterson / dallas stars, twitter / (caption) "woof woof" by arthur
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So I'm not getting on any sort of "I disliked James Somerton before it was cool" thing because that blatantly isn't true, I was just as much of a fan as many others were before Hbomberguy's video.
But even after subscribing to James, I typically looked at his videos talking about a certain media more than his general queer history stuff, because when he wasn't focused on a specific topic, I found it hard to retain what he was saying and understand some of his explanations. "His" definition of camp particularly flew over my head. Now, I thought this was a me problem, that I just wasn't getting it because I'm a visual learner and hearing things academically is a bit harder. But now that I know 99.9% of his shit was stolen, I've realized why I'm not the problem!
My brain felt like I was experiencing an academic textbook because the shitstain was reading unfiltered academic text at me, at times like he was reading off a Wikipedia article--WHICH HE LITERALLY DID
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btw its interesting the way james tries to imply that like. well the videos that have plagiarism are the ones our dumb stupid annoying patrons requested about bad topics that didnt deserve to have the effort put in to covering them well so basically its fine. like obv thats interesting on its own but moreso the fact that he doesnt actually /say/ it, or like. give a list of the videos hes referring to, just says "those videos are very clear on which ones they were" i think as a nod meaning like "yknow the ones everyones talking about". unless what hes meaning is that like they put a note in certain videos saying "this video was requested by a patron, we here at james somertom incorporated do not espouse these views" which seems unlikely to me. idk methinks maybe it's because there is indeed a lot more than people think and with all the buzz he's not sure which ones have been discovered yet or not, so putting down a solid list that missed some would look like he was still hiding things whereas putting down a fully sourced list would be admitting to wayyyy more than anyone's found yet
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i say this as someone who has always been daunted by all the things i don’t know: please do not be afraid of learning. do not, under any circumstance, let people discourage you from doing so, either. read and read and read. let yourself be heartily challenged by books and concepts. set with things, let them brew, go back to them and look them up. know it’s okay to not know and it’s even more okay to not know for a very long time. we are all different, and we all learn differently, and sometimes it takes time. the worst thing you could ever do for yourself is to stop wanting to learn because you are afraid you’re not smart enough to comprehend things. you very much are
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Lae'zel, pls. I'm trying to be negative here.
Why do you have the best confession I've seen so far and also why did you literally kill me right after.
Ma'am??
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hey so uh I’m back
kinda
I don’t know how to word this. But my break is over I guess. I ended up leaving for longer as I didn’t know how to handle returning and I wanted to do it on a better day, and I’m sorry if I made you worried.
Although with all of this it feels nothing has changed yet again. It feels like forever since I’ve been here and my break consisted of highs and lows where I felt I could do nothing and desperately needed to go back to tumblr, or I feel relaxed and it was a good idea.
it’s very hard. I’m considering actually leaving for good because of how my break affected me. But I’m going to try to intergrate myself back here, but I think it’s going to be very hard.
I’m still scared staying here and I feel like I’m stuck in a narrow space with no exit no matter what I do, I just hate everything I hate myself I just want help but there’s no one to get help from I have no idea what to do I feel exhausted yet I haven’t done anything I just don’t know where this is all going and I’m scared for the future
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also re looking at the laptops of ppl in front of you in lectures, its actually doing wonders for my perceptions of the average computer user's tech literacy. im so used to circles on here being like 'and of course we're all on firefox with these 6 extensions and digging the algorithms out of our operating systems' meanwhile today in a lecture i saw someone with a lenovo driver pinned to their taskbar. ???
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