#ergo. everything that comes from it (even the ‘good’ things) is as well.

[siilvan]

i am once again disappointed but not surprised at the COD fandom only caring about “sensitivity” when it’s convenient for them

[ineffable-suffering]

The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie

Otherwise known as (*takes a deep breath*): A completely inflated close-up look at various dialogues and events of Season 2 that prove that the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Meeting Cotillion Ball was supposed to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley

Look, the point's been made before but that's never kept me from making it myself again, still. In fact, even I made it before, at the end of one of my other metas. But I feel like it's absolutely worthy enough to get its own soppy, way-too-long post. And I do love it so very much to write ridiculously long essays on something that could easily be condensed into a short paragraph.

So, here we go! Snuggle up, get cozy, settle in and, most importantly:

(Word count: 3.177 | Reading time: ~13 minutes)

As I already said above, I laid out a similar case in my meta about why Aziraphale is somewhat of an unreliable narrator. I'll try and recycle it here briefly, so I can further make my point.

When Aziraphale arrives back in London from his Edinburgh journey, he seems oddly happy and giddy for the fact that he just had a rather odd and threatening encounter with Shax. I explain in my other meta that this is because he just spent the last hours of his drive reminiscing on the thrilling and romantic magic show adventure of 1941 and also the fact that he just found out that Crowley has been replaced by Shax and no longer works for Hell.

Ergo: We have a hopelessly lovesick Principality at our hands, who's practically swooning over his serpent who saved him, his books and his magic show all those years ago.

Ergo:

✨This✨

Realistically, Aziraphale should probably be a tad worried about the eery encounter with Shax, in which she definitely had the upper hand on him. But well, if you spend many-a hours driving across the serene countryside (Edinburgh is about an 8-hour drive from London), pondering on one of the craziest, sticky-sweet romantic adventures of your not-life life, well ... things tend to turn a little rosy around the edges. Head in the clouds and all that. Light shades of grey!

Alright, onwards: Once the angel, filled to the very brim with fond memories and butterflies, gets out of the Bentley, he's kindly met with a face full of verdant plants and a very in-character-grumpy Crowley.

Fhwack! Way to burst the rosy bubble.

Seriously, the absolute lightning speed with which Crowley storms out to vacate the bookshop the very second Aziraphale arrives makes me giggle every time.

Let's make a first small (who am I kidding) diversion into analysing the following conversation in unnecessary detail ...

... simply because I enjoy quoting dialogue as an accurate reference in my metas. I'll also highlight certain passages I want to comment on in individual colours so I can back up my thoughts with them below. Alright, their little chinwag goes as follows:

Crowley: "They you are! I was worried something might have happened to you." Aziraphale: "No, nothing happened to me. Very uneventful journey indeed. No strange things at all." Crowley: "Good. That's what we wanna hear." Aziraphale: "Um .. everything okay with- ah.." *nods to the bookshop* Crowley: "Oh, yeah, fine. He's singing to himself. I think he must have been asleep. I heard snoring coming from his bedroom–" Crowley, to the Bentley: "Did you miss me? I bet you did." Aziraphale: "... I'm sure it did." Crowley: "So, any more clues from the mystery of the missing archangel?" Aziraphale: "Not exactly. Or, if there are, I haven't yet cracked the case. But I'm certainly hot on the trail of something." Crowley: "I'm sure you are. Oh, by the way, the whole sudden rain and awning thing was a complete washout." Aziraphale: "Sorry?" Crowley: "You know, project making Nina fall in love with Maggie. I failed, it's your go." Aziraphale: "I see. Well then, Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Monthly Meeting, here we come!" Crowley: "You're really hosting the meeting?" Aziraphale: "Absolutely! And I can guarantee you, it will be a night to remember."

At first glance, this has little to do with the plot of this meta but actually, it folds into my point very nicely! However, it's not time for that yet, so we'll just state the facts as they are for now and then bring them back 'round later when we need them. That being said: For the love of Someone, will these two ever manage to simply tell each other the truth of what happened instead of thinking they can protect each other by lying about it all the time? Hrmpf. As a big fan of open communication myself, I'm close to developing a stomach ulcer with the amount of false truths being spewed here. (Then again – and yes, that is another, way larger meta I'm currently cooking up – it plays so very perfectly into the whole Jane-Austen-Pride-and-Prejudice tragic miscommunication theme that this entire Season has, so I understand the point of it.)

Very uneventful journey indeed, Aziraphale, except for the fact that you were ambushed by a demon who told you she was Crowley's successor, knows about the rumors of the two of you being an item as well as what went down in 1941 (that almost had both of you exposed) and also seems to have figured out where you and your demon boyfriend are hiding Gabriel, all in the span of about a minute. No strange things at all, nooo!

And Crowley's "Oh yeah, fine" is a total lie too. Again, we see him make an absolute run for it before Aziraphale can even enter the bookshop. After all, he just once again witnessed Jim have a Gabriel-flashback, speaking of the Second Coming, while Crowley was alone with him. As fumingly angry he is with the amnesiac archangel – he's also absolutely terrified of what might happen (to him and Aziraphale) should Jim regain his memories. So, no wonder he's quick to vacate the premises after witnessing Jim's rather eery memory flashback (and was, just like Aziraphale, threatened by Shax mere moments later, lol).

But no, nothing out of the ordinary happened to either of them. Tip-top. Absolutely tickety-fucking-boo.

Alright, let's get back on track with the actual topic of this meta. Certainly hot on the trail of something, hm? At first glance, it might seem like Aziraphale is talking about the fact that Gabriel was in company of someone whenever he went to the Resurrectionist Pub. (The clue!) However, I don't actually think he is talking about that. Why? Because, and this slipped my mind too at first, he never actually follows any of this information up, does he? Yes, sure, he went to Edinburgh, found the capital-c Clue and then returned to London. But what does he do with it? Nothing. He doesn't keep investigating this hot trail because that's not the important thing he realized during his journey. No, the more important clue Aziraphale found during his trip, is that Crowley no longer works for Hell and that he is also very much irrevocably in love with him and must confess this at the earliest given chance. (The latter part isn't necessarily a new discovery for Aziraphale, but it surely is fuelled by the fact that he just realized Crowley's out of a Hellish job and simply hasn't told him yet.)

This exchange just the perfect indicator for the fact that Aziraphale, at no point during his drive back, was thinking about the Maggie and Nina mission. He has no idea what Crowley is talking about once he mentions it and seems surprised, even, that he would. Even though they just talked about it on the phone when Aziraphale was still at the graveyard. Which is another important piece of evidence because it means that the last status update Aziraphale got of Mission Lovebirds, was that Crowley had sensed an opportunity to make them fall in love – and had then hung up on him. Why is this important? Because it means that until that very point of their conversation, Aziraphale did not know that Crowley's attempt had failed! There would have been just as much of a chance of Crowley's weather miracle actually working out and Maggie and Nina already having skipped into the sunset happily ever after.

So, riddle me this:

Why would Aziraphale spend the entire ride back from Edinburgh plotting "a night to remember" (because clearly, he already had the entire Ball planned out down to a T in his head since he goes into action right away after arriving) if he didn't even know yet that Crowley's attempt had failed?

To be very clear here: We're not talking about Aziraphale driving on the M1 to London, having a silly little idea for putting on some good music, miracle-ing Nina and Maggie to dance to it and watch them confess their love–

No.

He planned an entire actual Cotillion Ball with very particular location design that involves re-arranging the entire bookshop, specifically designed individual outfits for (almost) every single attendee, topped off with a live band, hors-d'œuvre, drinks and an actual choreographed group dance.

During one car ride.

Where's the party planner Aziraphale AU? I'm waiting!

Now, sure, we know that it's still quite important for Aziraphale to convince Heaven of the faux-reason they gave for their accidental ✨25-Lazarii miracle✨. But if we're all honest, this all seems to be a tad much just to make two random humans fall in love, even for that.

Glittery ball gowns and suits? Red and gold wall curtains? A modified language filter? Bloody vol-au-vents?

Talk about over the top ...

Once we start S2E5, Crowley is still surprised at the mere fact that Aziraphale is actually planning to organize the Monthly Meeting – and he doesn't even know yet that it's gonna be the most extravagant ball-boogaloo that the Whickber Street Community has ever seen! Aziraphale wanting to organize the meeting alone, is enough to render Crowley incredulous, because Aziraphale never mingles with the other shopkeepers. He usually actively avoids them and any sort of social encounters as much as he can because he doesn't care about the bloody Christmas lights, alright?

These things seem mundane and uninteresting to him, obviously, since all he really cares about is hoarding his book collection in peace like the little hedonist he is and drawing as little attention as possible to his none-business business.

Oh, right, speaking of books:

Let's take another unnecessarily detailed look at the whole Whickber Street invitation scene:

Aziraphale realizes very quickly that he's not the only one who's quite unenthusiastic about the blessed Chritsmas lights. And despite his very persuasive methods of temptation ...

... he has to take some more drastic measurements. And those are?

That's right: Giving away his books.

I'll repeat it again, slowly: Aziraphale is willingly (!) giving away or lending his books to pretty much complete strangers to, allegedly, make two other humans strangers fall in love.

Seriously, who is that angel and what has he done with our prim, fussy, hedonistic Aziraphale that protects his books with the vice grip of an eagle carrying his precious prey?

Believe in the importance of Mission Lovebirds as much as you will, but we're talking about Mr. A.Z. Fell here who, over the past millennia, has pretty much spent every day actively working out methods to stop people from purchasing as much as a single paperback from his holy shelves.

And yet: the 1965 September Dr. Who Annual? Given away. The first edition of Expert at the Card Table that was S. W. Erdnase's personal copy? Lent away to grubby human hands to fondle around with.

Let's do another coloured dialogue diversion (don't worry, it's not as extensive as the last one):

Crowley: "You just did what I think you did?" Aziraphale: "I'm not prepared to talk about it." Crowley: "You gave away a book." Aziraphale: "I had to! Maggie and Nina are depending on me. They just don't know it yet."

Crowley backs up my point: This is a huge deal. Aziraphale does not sell his books – let alone give them away for free. We're all shocked! Flabbergasted!

And the explanation Crowley and us get just ... doesn't satisfy. Something and someone sure is depending on this Ball and doesn't know it yet. But it's most definitely not Maggie and Nina, folks.

You know for whom Aziraphale would give away his books in the blink of an eye, though?

Mhm, that's right.

This pretty old serpent.

I want to take a minute to show you the reaction again that Aziraphale has upon entering the very same magic shop him and Crowley went to in 1941 to acquire the Bullet Catch:

You ... you need a minute there, angel? You're sure looking a little ... affected.

And I mean, well, no wonder. He reminisced about that very memory four hours last night. To him, this shop is where the most turbulent, ecstatic, adrenaline-fuelled and romantic night of his life began. And it shows.

I've made my point in my other meta series about how Aziraphale is an incredibly nostalgic character. He romanticizes so many things in his memories – especially the parts that feature Crowley. So, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that he's once again willing to loosen the tight grip he has on his book collection to get the successor of Will Goldstone's Magic Shop, the shop that started it all for him, to come to his fancy Ball.

As we watch Aziraphale and his little lap dog demon pat around Soho, I'd like to take another second to point out that he goes to seven or more establishments before he even invites Nina.

... and he only does so because she starts talking to them on the street. Almost like he'd forgotten about it. Why not ask her at the very beginning? To establish whether or not he'd have to book-blackmail her too?

"Perfectly ordinary invitation with no hidden agenda of any kind", except that he's using you and Maggie as a pretence to resolve his own clusterfuck of a relationship-miscommunication Jane-Austen-style so that he can then hopefully confess his undying love to his demon not-boyfriend boyfriend.

Marvellous!

You'll forgive me another short diversion but my God, the whole exchange at the Marguerite's restaurant with Crowley literally cat-call-whistling Aziraphale over to him (and Aziraphale checking if he meant someone else first, I–)? I am weak. So, so weak and

However, this is also when we get a snippet of Crowley finally revealing the truth in place of his "Oh, he's fine"-lie earlier and telling Aziraphale that he's actually pretty scared Jim might turn back into Gabriel and smite him altogether. And Aziraphale's response is, in a cosmic sense, (remember the pink paragraph now) so hilarious:

"Have you thought of just talking to him?"

Yeah, have you? Have any of the two of you? Just thought about talking? To each other? About anything?

'pparently not. But hey, it's all good because remember what the ultimate remedy for star-crossed lovers simply misunderstanding each other is?

Bish, bash, bosh, problem solved!

Back at the ballroom bookshop, Aziraphale sends Crowley to invite Maggie in order to, in my opinion, not spoil the Ball-y surprise for him. (Inviting Maggie only now?! Wouldn't she be one of the only two guests who really should attend? Why the short notice? If she's really that important for the Ball you're planning, hm?)

On top of this, we see Nina almost not attending the Ball meeting after her partner broke up with her and Crowley being the one who coincidentally runs into her and ushers her into the bookshop before Shax and her "legion" of demons start creeping up on them. Again, if this hadn't happened by pure coincidence, Nina would have left to go home and this whole Ball would have taken place without her, rendering the apparent sole purpose of making her fall in love with Maggie useless.

Why doesn't Aziraphale care more for both of them to attend and be there? Why is he instead busy fussing over everything looking perfect and wonderful and doesn't even seem to notice that both Nina and Maggie are really late to the meeting?

Well. Well.

The answer's in the title, babes.

Alas, Crowley safely gets Maggie and Nina to join them, Mr. Brown is the only one who doesn't get a miracled outfit (fussy, petty angel, you just don't like him, do you?), Jimbriel stuns with glamour and flirt (and whatever sexually suggestive thing he does with his cheeks) and the Whickber Street Ball is a-go!

Sorry, I just had to chuck this in again because Crowley's face here absolutely kills me every time. He looks so confused, I am hollering.

And the heart eyes Aziraphale is making at Nina and Maggie now that they're actually here?

Oh, bless it, angel.

He's all like "Oh look, it's working! Jane was right! It's all going to be resolved, all the misunderstanding and quarrels! Crowley, where's Crowley–"

Ah yes, there he is.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is an angel who is not listening to a single word being said right now. No, in his head, Aziraphale is already down on one knee, pouring his heart out to Crowley after they just danced the night away.

Oh, yes, right. The dancing.

Parallel much?

But well, as marvellous and beautifully romantic as her stories tend to be, it turns out that Jane Austen isn't always right after all. Because before we know it, the perfect night shatters into many-a tiny pieces (literally).

And once again, fhwack:

... the rosy bubble bursts.

Let's take one more deep breath so I can make my final point:

In S2E2, Aziraphale explains to us very exactly what Jane's Balls (hrhr) used to be about: Solving miscommunication and confessing love to one another.

During his car journey back from Edinburgh, Aziraphale:

doesn't know Crowley's Mission Lovebirds had failed

remembers 1941 and just how badly he's in love with Crowley

and also realizes that they seem to have been wildly miscommunicating for quite some time now. (Crowley didn't even tell him he basically got let go!)

So, what does maddeningly strong love plus a want to resolve all the miscommunication equal? That's right: A night to remember! A Ball to change it all! A dance, a vol-au-vent, a confession. And, ideally, a happy ever after. Because:

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man angel in possession of a good fortune Jane Austen collection, must be in want of a wife demon husband.”

The Ball was never for Nina and Maggie. As a byproduct, maybe, yes. But the whole rest of the glimmer and glamour, the careful, romantic planning and set up of it all, the book-bating the other shopkeepers– that was for Crowley and Crowley only.

And oh, if only it were as easy as in the books.

*whispers* I'm sorry, I had to.

***

Your honour, the tinfoil-hat crackpot defence rests. Feel free to share thoughts (and prayers) if you want to!

Au revoir! 💗

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #38: Ozai carries Azula to the physicians' wing

This has been done for A WHILE now, but I didn't post it because the past days have been chaotic and not just on a personal level. For one thing, I really wasn't eager to drop this when people were losing their shit massively over the liveaction and its recontextualization of Azula and Ozai's dynamics, I didn't look forward to releasing this just to be told that whatever I've done in my story is somehow wrong, sooooooooo... that held me back, for a few days.

Then? The AI-Tumblr deal started to be talked about and I may or may not have freaked out about that too. Sooo... this is the first glazed and nightshaded piece of my creation, as consequence. The original, clean and proper version is available in my Patreon. Is this me being a dick to Tumblr-only people? Unfortunately, it very much isn't, I'm not trying to say that if you want the best iterations of my art, you should pay me for it... this is squarely, entirely, at staff/the CEO's feet. Obviously, there's the insecure side of me that goes "what makes you think they'd steal YOUR art when there are so many better artists out there!" but ultimately? AI is about taking everything en masse. It isn't a matter of developing a criteria about who makes the better art... it's just taking EVERYTHING and trying to repurpose it in whatever twisted way it needs to. Therefore? I think my choice is more of a matter of caution than anything else. Once AI bullshit dies out (and I really hope it does), we may just return to the same level of quality across all my accounts. For now, it is what it is.

ANYWAY! Point is this artwork is very much what my Patrons happened to vote for this month, a very shocking scene where Ozai reacted in the least foreseen way to Azula being attacked. Azula's confusion/terror comes from a place of not knowing what to do and being powerless to stop her father even if she doesn't feel comfortable with his help... but for once, Ozai isn't making a dreadful choice that will only devastate his daughter. He's actually worried about her health... and feeling genuine guilt over what landed her in the situation where she was in danger in the first place. Yes. I like me my complex Ozai who finally learned actions have consequences. He bores me to death otherwise :') if anyone STILL doesn't know that this whole situation is Gladiator-specific, then I shall clarify fully: this is artwork based on my fic. It's about a story that has been developing these characters for ALMOST ELEVEN YEARS now. It has nothing to do with whatever's going on in canon or in the liveaction, the scene in question was written almost two years ago and the artwork proposed and voted for several days before the liveaction aired. Ergo: there is no connection between this and that. Nor am I saying through this piece that Ozai is a good father. He is not. He can still be an interesting character to work with on a narrative level anyway :')

Alright. With that out of the way, hope you guys like this piece! The big one I haven't posted is ALSO finished, also glazed and nightshaded, but I think I might just end up posting it on the 26th if I don't have time to do anything big for our eleventh anniversary... yep, I'm so busy I don't even have a huge project in mind this time. Also? I have a lot to write and I'm finally happily writing it, and I would like to continue doing that...

Anyway! If you would like to be part of the creative process behind this piece, as well as see it in its proper, OG, less color-bleeding clunky version? A $1 Patreon pledge gives you the chance to join in suggesting prompts, voting for them and reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before a new chapter is released!

[ohbother2]

You don't have to answer I can understand since I'm asking such a big thing that could take time,

but how did you understand Luci's character traits and personality so well? Knowing what to write about how he'd react in some situations and just knowing him very well? It's really such an amazing skill I love writers so much they have such a way with words and all.

Sending you lots of love <3

Hello!! Honestly no worries I absolutely love when people ask about my writing!! <3

The fact that this was sent in immediately after the previous ask summarising my characterisation as 'power bottom with an oral fetish' is honestly hilarious lmfaoooo

but seriously tysm!! The fact you think I've characterised him so well is so flattering!

In all honestly I'm not entirely sure, and I'm not (personally) entirely convinced I have gotten his characterisation 100% correct! I think the fun about being a writer is you can take these... 'artistic liberties' and if you write them well enough and convincingly enough (within certain constraints of reality) people will just kinda accept it

I guess as someone who spent their childhood and teenage years far too involved in fanfic-writing and mindless daydreaming inside their own head you start to gain a taste for ensuring characters stay within their own 'box' of characterisation and don't just begin acting how you want them to - this was a very long mindset I had to teach myself out of (I dread to think about some of the horrendous ooc fics I wrote in my younger years)

Even today, as someone who hopes to write their own book one day and has been using fanfic-writing as practice, I STILL have to reign myself in and really look at my work and think 'would they actually act like this'. For example, you have no idea how many times I've had to re-write a line of dialogue or just simply scrap entire paragraphs altogether after deciding that Lucifer/Adam/etc wouldn't act like that

Actual advice time - the main thing I do when I decide I want to write for a character, is study the character. I watch the series again focussing on that specific character and their interactions, and then I come up with my own little 'characterisation' of them in my own head: little traits that I've picked up on throughout their screen time like their mode of speech (and tics or mannerisms, and common phrases or specific vocabulary, if they mumble, etc) or their body language. [For example, my summarisation of Lucifer is: desperate to please, abandonment issues, overcompensates his slights with showmanship and flair, ruled by his emotions, a genuinely caring person.]

I also think you can actually deduce a lot from a characters physical presence on screen - their confidence, their anxiety, their happiness, their frustrations - and you can really run with it. If you can pick up on those key characters traits, just amp them up in your writing and bam you've nailed the key components of the character and everything else will fall into place. E.g., Lucifer is constantly taking deep staggering breaths when confronted by something out of the norm (Charlie ringing him, having to talk to Heaven, etc). What can be deduced from this? He doesn't handle his emotions well, he doesn't hide them well, he's easily flustered, he's not as composed as he wants people to believe. Ergo, whenever something is overly shocking, I really play on that characteristic.

Embarrassingly, sometimes if I'm really struggling with deciding whether a character would do/say something, I look up compilations of that character on YouTube so I can really focus on just them. I've always had quite a good knack for getting in other peoples (and characters') heads and this little boost really helps me. Sometimes I even look at other fanfics!

Basically: I'm not entirely sure, thank you so much, this probably hasn't answered your question at all, practice makes perfect :)

[wolfiemozart1787]

Thank you SO much

Hey, I just wanted to say to everyone who’s supporting me in this very unfortunate and just plain shitty thing that’s happening on AO3 - thank you. I really do appreciate it. AND just for those who have absolutely no idea what’s going on, I’ll explain it.

So, basically around three weeks ago I wrote and posted a smut fic on AO3 about two characters from Jackson’s Diary (if you don’t know what it is, it’s a Webtoon) and I immediately received an ENORMOUS amount of backlash, due to the fact the one of the characters was 17 - ergo, underage. I thought “well, that’s a reasonable thing to get titchy about”, so I re-tagged the work and stated in the A/N that the specific character was aged up a couple months, just to smoothen everything out. But, SURPRISE, it didn’t work. I started getting more backlash, which then turned into hate. It just kept coming and coming. At this point I was like “Jesus, how does one short fic cause all this?”. Then I received several requests (actually no, orders) to take the work down. Now, I’m new to writing fanfiction. I’ve been into reading it for maybe 4 years now, but I’ve only just started publishing works and this is the first fandom that I’ve officially joined, and I didn’t know that specific people had power over what I can and can’t write, sooo...yeah. But then, things took a turn.

I was scrolling through the fandom one day when I found a post titled “Please stop”. I was curious and clicked on it, only to find that it wasn’t an actual fanfic but a call-out post, telling all the people (aka me) who post smut fics (I literally posted ONE) to stop because it’s a.) disgusting, b.) is a basic representation of pedophilia and c.) is basically child p*rnography. Now I was astonished at these accusations. I aged up ONE character by a couple months, now I’m being called a pedophile? I explained that I myself am a minor, even younger than the underaged character, but of course that didn’t change anything. I tried to explain politely in the comments section that I didn’t mean anybody any harm whatsoever, and I was then harassed (and that’s not an overstatement) by several people, being told to take it down. So, my naive little brain couldn’t take it anymore so I took the work down. I then posted an apology. Now the reason I did this was not because I regretted writing the work, no no, it was just to stop all the goddamn disgusting comments about me. But it turns out I’d only added fuel to the fire.

I started receiving even more vile comments, some including death threats, others untruthful accusations about how I was a groomer or a child sexual abuser, others just calling me the most disgusting person alive. This had a serious effect on my mental health. I’m naturally a very happy person. I love making people laugh. I love making people smile and feel good about themselves, but now I felt like shit! I felt like I was all the things people were calling me. I was told to kill myself because everyone hated me. I don’t think there was a single supportive or positive comment on that post. I left it up for ages, until one day I came across a comment (from the same person who posted the “Please stop” fic) talking about a TikTok video about it. And I thought...”oh no”.

I IMMEDIATELY got my ass over to TikTok and saw the video, and...let’s just say I didn’t take it well. The comments were...unexplainable. Calling me the most vile words a person can be called. Accusing me of pedophilia, for the thousandth time! So many comments...horrible things said by people who don’t even know me! Judgement of my character, of my virtues, and they just kept coming. Then there was ANOTHER post by the same account, which then brought in MORE hurtful comments. By then I’d had enough. I had a full-on mental breakdown, trashing literally everything. Then anxiety started. I’m still in school, and I kept thinking “what if somebody at my school knows I did this?”. I started becoming anxious all the time, and it was all I thought about. Until somebody actually supported me and posted about the whole thing on Tumblr, which brought in SO many wonderful people! And I’ve tried explaining it to people on TikTok and AO3, but nobody will listen. But here I know people will listen. I’m sorry for sharing my whole boring story with you all, and by the way, it’s still ongoing so if you want to go have a look, it’s still up on AO3 with more comments every day!

But yeah, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all my supporters in this difficult time, you really do make my day.

[inconveniently-discorporated]

@theshamelesshussy with discussing how Aziraphale views himself and Crowley, and especially Aziraphale's "holier than thou" attitude, I was reminded of one of the characters we've seen this season -- Crowley's parallels to Job!

We know that Job is incredibly virtuous, praising of God, so on and so forth. We know it is incredibly well known that Job is God's favorite human being. And then She goes on to allow him to be tortured.

It's never said how God feels about Crowley, but I know a fan-favorite theory is that he was/is Her favorite. He talks directly to God, no hesitation, no summoning circles, just him being incredibly open and angry and vulnerable and challenging God from his throne on Earth.

And I feel like, before the fall, Crowley has more of a pure vision of God than even Aziraphale does. He cannot comprehend the idea of getting into trouble for putting in a suggestion to the upstairs. Perhaps he is used to having his opinion listened to. Where Aziraphale feared God, Crowley only ever believed She would listen. Him making suggestions is how he shows his devotion, because that's what HE would want if HE was the Creator.

What happened after is unclear. He was IN the war, he fought alongside Furfur (though apparently Furfur is known for lying, so maybe Crowley's "I don't remember you" wasn't just him being purposely dismissive). Anyway, Neil has suggested Crowley is an unreliable narrator, and I definitely think he had more to do with the rebellion than he let on.

But what made me think about Job and the parallels with Crowley/Aziraphale, is the fact that Job himself thinks he has done some great evil to deserve all this. It's not shown in the episode, but one of the things that struck me as I was reading about Job was that all of his friends had assumed Job had done something wicked to deserve all this. No one can reconcile their image of God with the fact that God just decided to do this to one of Her most devoted followers to win a bet.

And that reminded me so much of Aziraphale and Crowley. Chiefly, Aziraphale on the wall reasoning that whatever Crowley did must be bad, because Crowley is a demon, and demons do bad things, that's why they're demons. God doesn't just decide to torture the innocent! ... Until She does.

From the beginning, Aziraphale's conscious idea of good and evil is based in the institution of Heaven, and the idea that if you were good then you stayed in Heaven and if you were bad you went to Hell. Likewise, if you're good you will be rewarded, and if you're bad you will be punished. Ergo, if you are being punished, you must be bad. This is a very black and white view that Aziraphale has, despite even witnessing the treatment of Job, because at the end of this episode he breaks down about having to go to Hell now that he's lied directly to the faces of his superiors.

Deep down, Aziraphale KNOWS that Heaven is not synonymous with good, and that causes so much inner turmoil and cognitive dissonance. He gives away the sword because he knows that Eve is pregnant and it's cold out there and Adam and Eve will die if they don't have anything to protect themselves -- which is proven when Adam immediately has to fight a lion. We see Crowley push him again and again towards not just seeing this truth, but internalizing it. He is finally ready to accept this by the time the apocalypse comes around, and he realizes that no one will stop the apocalypse, and he is willing to fight alongside Crowley to prevent it from happening. I just don't think he's fully let go by the end of S2.

But this is about Crowley's parallels with Job.

This is where it gets interesting, because Aziraphale witnessed firsthand how one could be punished without doing anything wrong. He ALSO witnessed Heaven rewarding Job in the end with everything he had, two times over (though the part with the kids would have hardly been a reward) because punishment was used as a test. I almost wonder if this is what he grapples with when it comes to Crowley -- the dual ideas that punishment is for the wicked, while also realizing punishment can be a test for the good.

Which, by the way, is I think part of the toxicity of Heaven and Hell: the idea that anyone is wholly one or the other, and that one has to either be purely virtuous or else totally evil.

But that last bit reminds me of another HC that I have: God is testing everyone all the time. Maybe experimenting.

Like, in the garden -- I theorized once that the apple tree wasn't a test for the humans, it was a test for Crowley. It was asking him the question: now that you know what evil is, now that you have fallen from the grace and purity of Heaven, will you do the same to the humans? Was your freedom from Heaven worth the fall?

Job seems like it could be another test -- now that you've had everything taken away from you, will you do the same to an innocent human? Will you take away everything they love? Will you hurt another in the way that you've been hurt even though they've done nothing wrong?

And with the antichrist, well -- Crowley himself questions at the end if what happened was what God meant to happen all along. Which makes me wonder if it was another test, for humanity, for Crowley, for Aziraphale.

What I find interesting is that Crowley asked questions, and he fell because of it.

Job asked questions, and God rewarded him after it.

Interesting parallels indeed that I would love if someone else expanded on.

[timotey]

Ficlet: In Spiritu Veritas

The Sign. Phaya/Tharn. Post-drama. TW: suicide thoughts. Unbeta'd.

When drunk, Tharn loses all inhibitions. Phaya almost forgot.

(Tumblr pointed out that Tharn was a sad drunk. Ergo.)

*.*.*

The next day, the day after Tharn comes back to him, they call the guys from the unit - and Sand! - to tell them the good news, that Tharn returned. They immediately race over to Tharn’s grandma’s house and they whoop and hug - Yai actually cries, he cries and hugs Tharn and chews him out and tell his how much he missed him and how much he loves him - and then Tharn and Phaya actually tell them the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. About everything.

It goes… Well, it goes. They don’t believe a word Tharn and Phaya say, of course. It’s one thing to accept that a shrink whom Tharn has known for years lost it and kidnapped him, it’s another thing entirely to be told that said shrink is a Naga king who’s been stalking Tharn-slash-Wansarut over several lifetimes. When Tharn finally sighs in exasperation and shows them Chalothon’s soul, the guys do what every sane man does when confronted with the inexplicable: they collectively decide to never talk about it again.

And then they celebrate. And drink. So much. Like so much. And when the evening comes, they’re so drunk that Phaya and Sand - the only two reasonably sober people left in the house, it seems (Tharn’s grandma doesn’t count!) - move everybody into a more or less lying position all over the main room and… leave them there. It’s not like it’s cold and they might freeze to death. And if they wake up with a crick in the neck? Good. That will teach them a lesson. Or not.

When Sand retreats to the bedroom Tharn’s grandma prepared for her, Phaya helps Tharn into their own room. Of course he does. He wouldn’t leave Tharn lying out there, after all. Even though he ends up actually carrying Tharn in his arms, all bridal style, when Tharn’s knees simply give out on him halfway in. And yet, when brought into their bedroom, Tharn insists on taking a shower; i must i stink can’t sleep like that yuck phaya i have to why are you stopping me why why are you “Because you might actually drown in the shower?” then come with me and help me don’t you love me you don’t love do you “Of course I love you, of course, I do, Tharn, alright, alright, come…”

Helping Tharn shower is like wrestling an amorous octopus, though, because Tharn can’t really stand on his own, his knees keep giving out, and so Phaya lets Tharn lean against him; lean against you yes yes on you lean on you nice so nice “Yes, like that, no, no, Tharn, lean not hug, I can’t help you wash if you hug me like that, alright, alright then, fine, it's fine, I will manage, somehow, I think” nice so nice you smell so nice so warm. It takes way too long and there’s water literally everywhere but it makes Phaya smile. Because over the past year he almost forgot what Tharn’s like when he gets drunk and rediscovering all his lover’s quirks again makes him happy.

But when Phaya dries them off and sits Tharn down on the edge of the bed in their room and kneels down in front of him to rub his hair dry thoroughly, Tharn quiets down and Phaya remembers the other, bleaker side of Tharn’s drunk escapades: when Tharn becomes sad, when all the repressed, hidden things that he keeps locked up tight deep down inside burst out and find their way to the surface. It all comes back to Phaya when he’s rubbing Tharn’s hair and suddenly there’s a soft sound underneath the towel, a quiet sob.

Phaya stops, gently pulling the towel away from Tharn’s face, and his heart aches when Tharn just sits there, completely naked, in body and in soul, looking up and staring at Phaya, and his eyes are welling up, they are overflowing, both with emotions and with tears, and his cheeks are wet and his breath is hitching in his chest, painfully so, as if he can’t draw air into his lungs, as if something inside of him cracked and he's now slowly shattering to pieces and–

i missed you so much phaya i missed you and i love you and i didn’t want to leave you but i was afraid he would kill you you and everyone i love but mainly you because you are everything you are my everything and you almost died again and again and it almost killed me it’s killing me thinking i might lose you and you can’t leave me i would die for you i would rather die with you than be left alone and you have to be safe you have to be because what would chalothon's soul be for inside of me if you weren’t there see see i could i would i will just take it out and–

It takes a moment for Phaya to absorb, to understand what Tharn is saying and when he gets it, when it sinks in, he’s absolutely horrified and scared, he’s so scared, downright terrified. He can feel himself paling and his heart’s hammering hard in his chest because he never truly thought about it, about what Wansarut had done, what Tharn did, for him, were doing for him, always standing between him and danger. He never thought about what it meant, what it said about Tharn's state of mind.

Very gently, very deliberately, Phaya closes Tharn’s hand around Chalothon’s soul and presses it against Tharn’s chest, returning it to where it now belonged, where it had to stay, or. “How about we put the thing that keeps you ticking back in there, okay? How about we keep it in there, nice and safe, hm?” Tharn’s looking at him from underneath the towel, tears still falling, lips trembling, and Phaya takes Tharn’s face in his hands and strokes Tharn’s cheekbones with his thumbs, wiping away his tears.

In a soft, tender voice, Phaya says, “You’re so drunk you probably won’t remember a thing tomorrow but I will and we will talk about it. Because you can’t do that, love, you hear me? You can’t just give up, even if something happened to me. I love you and I’m so glad to know that you love me too but… please, please, not like this. Not like this.” And his voice breaks a little because what should he do with this knowledge, with knowing what Tharn might do if something happened to him?

Tharn blinks slowly, tears still spilling out, and he blinks again, even more slowly now, and on the next blink, his eyes remain close and he tips forward, leaning heavily against Phaya who lets go of Tharn’s face, carefully resting Tharn's head against his own shoulder, and he wraps his arms around Tharn, pulling him closer, hugging him tight. The towel slips from Tharn’s head and drops to the floor and Phaya strokes Tharn's still wet hair and his slim back while Tharn’s arms hang limply at Phaya’s sides. 

Turning his head a little, Phaya kisses Tharn's forehead and sighs, closing his eyes too. “We will talk about it, Tharn,” he whispers into the silence of the room, rubbing Tharn’s back with his hand, feeling each vertebrae under his fingers. “Because this won’t do. Because I need to know you’ll be safe, no matter what happens to me. And this, this won’t do. This won’t do at all, love…” 

And when he puts Tharn to bed and pulls him close and hugs him tight, letting him curl up in his arms, Phaya lies there, awake, staring at the ceiling, with his heart full of love and his mind full of worry, till the new day breaks on the horizon. Because he must keep Tharn safe, at all cost. And he doesn’t know how to do that.

[yourbittertarottruth]

you are so cool and non judgemental to chat with, so thanks very much once again! yeah I think the whole hysteria abojt idols fs in away its intruiging from a non obsessive point of view but for those who do obsess about idols fs are going to be in for a shock whenber idols are revealed to be dating and shock horror, its not themselves.

honestly I regret not really going for it and learning a genuine skill that I could then use later on but sometimes its just matter of having opportunities or being in the right situations to actually gain those skills, for example you could go to a really shitty school and learn something amazing or you can go to a better school but have shitty classmates or teachers that are of no real use to you or courses that arent available and so on and so forth, whilst idols have to go through a lot I do think what they get to do is super cool cause when they pass on they have a legacy to be proud of. Sadly I think it just comes down to them being in the right areas or theyre from the right families who can invest so much into idols gaining their skills and talents. I have yet to really see someone from my country denut in kpop group sooooo it kind of says a lot of where kpop is heading and that they were going to smerica come what may. its just sometimes our situations are very limiting and we cant always win at everything in life either or say you might want to do something but realistically you know its slim to none chances and i think at some point it has an age limit of when you can succeed at it. So even if i wanted to do what i originslly wanted it would take many more years just to get to a good skill and even then you might not be the best at it

I also think sometimes social media makes things neither great nor bad cause people can upload their skills and really empahsis on what they want nowadahs whereas when I was a kid we were doing fuck all with our free time yaknow? kids nowadays shouldnt waste their younger years is what im saying. sometimes i think that i dont fit in with my generation cause of how screen obsessed we all have become and then i dont fit in with newer generations cause they have so many more ways of making success for themselves, im just like what can i offer? honestly not much.

thats also why i lowkey wouldnt mind passing on early just to get out of this screen world that we are in and yet older generations were never bothered with taking selfies then they wouldnt habe been able to get social validation via online, so they were probs happier and things were at least affordable back then. i kinda envy the older generations in that respect, we only got to experience a small handful of years without the pressures of social media and ever since idfk 00s or earlier it kinda went to shit really.

everyone was expected to be online and idk how i really feel about it anymore im sort of over it and modern society generally sucks. so many idols get backlash for no good reason, youtubers who dont do anything wrong get gossiped about and snark pages are endless so even if someone wants to do something amazing with their lives they cant avoid scrutiny of any sorts. its just got way out of hand and its past the point of saying well just dont use it then cause we technically need these devices constantly so ergo its not hard to not be delulu about celebs and the likes either cause its literally everywhere.

Sorry for the late response, been caught up in some important stuff recently (it's not bad stuff LMAO)!! Anyways, thank you so much! I try my best to remain open-minded of any/all perspectives before forming an opinion of my own and even so, I'm very open to hearing others opinions on these matters. Debating issues is something I genuinely enjoy, as long as it is a polite and healthy debate ofc. It is quite interesting, I'd say it has something to do with the "loneliness epidemic" (as I like to call it) of these times. We're in a time where technology is increasing rapidly and human interaction isn't as common, we're more attached to our screens than actual people and that becomes an issue when it places you out of touch with reality! The obsessions over being an FS and whatnot is genuinely awful, like fans hating on idols and their relationships have led to some couples even splitting; look at Lee Jae Wook and Karina from Aespa as our most recent example. It's never too late to try, really. You can learn any skill no matter your age as long as you can put enough effort in, remain disciplined and dedicate time to it! I think your point there is quite valid, but since technology has advanced so rapidly, you can realistically learn most skills online now by a few quick google searches, taking notes, learning and applying them practically. I think it is quite cool how idols have a legacy that'll be remembered for a while. It's something I'd want to achieve before passing on, as even though making an impact, being remembered, etc isn't a neccessity it does in a way lessen the anxiety about passing on? It makes you feel like there is a chance that people will still mention you, bring you up, that what you did could be studied or researched by other people, that your story could motivate others into getting their shit together, etc. A lot of idols aren't in the right areas or families, though. I'll use BTS as an example here; some members had extremely poor families and were from a run-down agency that could never compete with the big 3. Look at where they are now? They single-handedly built up their label, going from Bighit to HYBE. Practice makes perfect, the more you practice, the more work you put in, the better you will get at that skill! Obviously, blind optimism isn't helpful but if you take the realistic steps in place to where you want to be in the next few years now; it will happen and you will succeed. I completely agree that we, as a society, have all become too screen obsessed and I'm also guilty of this, but it is an issue. It's caused a lot of parents to just let the screen teach their kids, too. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to the world, even if you might not think so. You can do it, though! I believe in you and I'm proud of what you have done so far :] !! I had a discussion with a friend about a similar topic to this, but a lot of trends now are fueled by "nostalgia" where things looked happier and less daunting to live in. I think after 2015 is when things started to spiral, but that's my personal take. You're more than free to disagree with anything I've said!! I don't think you should force yourself to be online, stick to the trends, etc. Do what makes you happy and you'll see yourself shine brilliantly! And yeah, a lot of delusional ideals are fueled by big companies nowadays, too, since fans will obviously put more money into those celebs if they feel like they might get "noticed" - which could also be why concert tickets are getting higher and higher even for newly debuted groups. That's my take on all this, though, feel free to respond and add on, agree, disagree, etc! <33

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if unborn Renesmee 2 wasn't discovered and got to be born? which means Hong never realized he wanted baby for himself and not to prove a point? would he try to give it to rosalie? What would the family do if they discovered this after baby was born?

The Seventh Seal

I mean, it's highly unlikely that would have happened. Hong was confident, but it took Esme a day to open that door to the basement. Someone was going to open the door within a month's time.

Add onto that that he told Carlisle and even that day Carlisle would demand something be done about it.

Hong Presents Unto the Cullens a Baby/Jellyfish

Hong triumphantly opens the basement after a month, dives into the vat, and retrieves Renesmee 2. He walks back up the stairs with no warning and presents her to the family.

Well.

His announcement has to wait as Jasper and Esme book it to the basement where they find themselves drowning in human blood and blacking out.

This, in fact, is actually the entire family save Carlisle and Rosalie. Rosalie manages to book it out of the house in time and Carlisle just sits there in numb horror while the sounds of Edward, Emmett, Esme, Alice, and Jasper rampaging in the basement waft upstairs.

"Is that a--" Carlisle almost ends that sentence with 'baby' but the thing in Hong's arms is see-through and weird looking. It looks, in theory, like a baby. It has a nose, eyes, all the parts in all the right places but... uh... yes...

Hong is now a little annoyed as Edward is the one he has to display this to and he's busy eating Bella Swan in the basement. Typical.

Hong, still dripping in blood, sits on the couch (ruining it entirely) and proceeds to wait with Carlisle.

It takes a long time to wait.

The Cullens, in fact, are too ashamed to come out of the basement. Edward's more hostile than ever (as he didn't conclude Hong was benign good in this world) and that he purposefully put that blood there to humiliate the family (especially Edward).

They also think Hong murdered Bella Swan.

They're now discussing how to best ambush Hong from the basement in sign language.

Carlisle's still sitting on the couch, staring at the not-baby.

Eventually, the basement Cullens agree to confront Hong with a monologue. Edward will rail at him on how he knows he's a murderer and he will get out or bad things will happen!

They then see the baby.

Hong announces that this child is the child of two vampires, however, as Edward can see, it's a thinking being who has superb control (better than the Cullens, clearly, as she didn't crawl back down to the basement) ergo we should turn Bella into a vampire.

They stare.

Emmett points out Bella's dead.

Hong points out Bella being dead would defeat the entire purpose of everything. (No one understands this).

They decide to move past whether or not someone, or Bella, is dead and... discuss what to do with this baby. Hong, what were you planning to do with this baby?

Hong hadn't thought that far ahead.

Uh, Rosalie, you wanted baby, right? Otherwise they can smash it with a hammer, it's no different than all the other times the Cullens have murdered someone.

No one wants to smash the baby with a hammer.

Rosalie, feeling very weird, agrees to be the mother of... whatever the fuck this thing even is. (Notably, Renesmee 2 is not as good looking/normal looking of a baby as Renesmee 1 and Rosalie also has only had 0.1 seconds to get used to the idea)

"Her name is Renesmee"

Rosalie stares and informs him that her name is not Renesmee. She doesn't have any names on hand but it is decidedly not Renesmee.

Rosalie then realizes they'll have to move. She's supposed to be in high school, she can't drop out to raise a crystal baby no one's allowed to see.

Hong notes he can make Forks forget Rosalie exists.

:/ is Rosalie's response to that.

There's much shouting and eventually Esme volunteers to watch Renesmee 2 while Rosalie's at school.

Hong, in dismay, learns that Edward thinks the child is the spawn of Satan and does not, in fact, believe it has any kind of soul.

Shenanigans continue.

[lordelmelloi2]

@bink4 Actually, Makoto Sanda has confirmed in Gray's materials that the relation between her and Waver will remain teacher-student and not progress into a romantic one. Of course the anime likes to give fanservice at random times, but as you probably already know as a Fate fan, the fanservice is what they do to keep the money going from what I understand -_- in many ways.

from Gray's TMDict article

I don't think fans of Case Files really have to worry about Gray and Waver's relationship being unhealthy tbqh. It's been shown time and time again that the reason why Gray takes care of cleaning and cooking is so she'd have something to do in London, and quite frankly, it's healthy for her to be doing that given that back in her hometown she had literally everything controlled for her, from when she went to the bathroom or ate to what she ate and when she slept, all so she'd successfully become King Arthur. Waver could tell from the beginning that Gray had low self-esteem & would likely feel really bad if she was just taken care of Even More when she got to London, so it makes sense to let her just take care of whatever things she chooses to take up, since for her it'll be something that compells her and makes her feel like she's not just being taken care of again. Waver's given her an allowance since she had come to London anyways. Gray's been stated to have the kind of attitude to more or less compulsively take care of stuff like that, since she immediately kind of starts taking care of Ergo as well and even proudly tries to be a good "Big sister" to him.

I've seen some comments lately about how Waver's mentorship of Gray is "unhealthy" which puzzles me because they have very firm boundaries with each other, and Waver isn't dependent on Gray at all..? it's been shown that Waver takes care of Gray very well and encourages her and supports her self-esteem also? he doesn't criticize her or anything, he doesn't put all his emotional problems on her or anything, the only thing I think that is the actual flaw at this point in Adventures is that he's a little Too guarded with her sometimes and that can make her feel like she's not able to communicate well with him? Given how intense his internal turmoil is I would bet he has decent reason to not show his emotions since the last time he had a self-despair spiral out loud he inadvertently ended up dismissing his entire Legacy and how he saved Gray and his students and she slapped him for that lol and after that he apologized 😭 I think as a teacher and student bond they have one of the best ones in a lot of media. It's great to see a teacher and student to learn from one another and grow together in the way that they did. And it's wonderful for them to help each other out, and I'm glad that Makoto Sanda has just outright confirmed that Waver is actually competent on his own because I hated seeing people act like he was an incompetent manchild for years or that he was forcing Gray to take care of him when he never did such a thing. Waver protects Gray in the ways that he can, too. I don't think their relationship is unbalanced at all. At least not in a way that would show it being problematic in the slightest. I think sometimes people are just shocked that their bond is so genuine and caring that they instinctively flinch and assume it's bad or unhealthy in some other way or assume that Sanda is going to steer it into hell or smth.

[pikahlua]

Question: I know you probably won't answer this because it's too soon(?) to speculate imo but when you said something along the lines "here comes the second's quirk" or something like that, I don't really remember the exact words .... specifically, what did you mean? Cause I'm very skeptical about the theories about the quirk itself and I genuinely cannot figure out what could it possibly be at this point.

Oh, your timing is good, anon. I was just wondering if I should go about pointing a few things out now.

I meant that with Izuku’s arrival, so too comes the Second’s quirk. We’re gonna see the damn thing at SOME point, and it very well could be soon.

You see, recently I went back and read from chapter 307 through now, and I took a few notes.

Here are my...

Observations about the potential of the Second’s quirk:

Everyone probably knows what the Second’s quirk is except for the readers

There’s really no reason for us to believe otherwise (unless of course KNOWING what the Second’s quirk is somehow affects how it works). Izuku most likely told All Might what it was in the hospital, and then he probably told the pro heroes when they started to work together, and Endeavor probably spilled the beans to 1-A when they confronted him in Nedzu’s office.

Why is this important? Because it means everything since chapter 307 has the potential to be a hint about what the Second’s quirk is. Therefore, all of these following observations may be unrelated to the quirk, but they may also be hints. Ergo, I have to lay them all on the table.

Names

As I’ve mentioned before, I am virtually 100% convinced that speaking names has something to do with how the quirk works. There’s all the evidence I’ve pointed out before about how spoken names seem to trigger Nagant’s destruction and how Aoyama is gagged after Izuku speaks his name, but there’s even more I haven’t mentioned. Ever since the prison break, AFO seems to go out of his way to NOT say “Izuku Midoriya” when speaking to other people.

He only says it in a recording directed at Izuku himself.

On Izuku’s side, we see him avoiding people as much as possible, but he purposefully seeks out those who could have made contact with AFO. He says their names openly as well, like with Lady Nagant and Chisaki. But when he says Endeavor’s name...

...Hawks interrupts him.

If we’re to assume they all know how the Second’s quirk works and that’s why they agreed to Izuku’s “solo vigilante” plan, I have to assume that Hawks is interrupting Izuku on purpose, but Horikoshi is framing it in such a way as to not trip our mental alarms. That would also explain why so much of these potential hints about the Second’s quirk occur before the introduction of Star(s) & Stripe(s).

The fact that AFO fears any cooperation between OFA and New Order could have to do with their activation conditions being similar.

The Gauntlets

For the same reasoning as above, I also have to assume touch could play an important part in Second’s quirk’s activation. AFO sends assassins after Izuku that can attack without touching him (Nagant and Dictator). Izuku tries to close in on Nagant for most of their fight, and he takes her hand when he saves her. He offers Aoyama his hand as well.

So let’s talk about those gauntlets.

Many people assume these gauntlets must be related to his quirk, but I maintain that this is a dangerous conclusion to jump to.

First of all, why does he have only one gauntlet in this memory but two gauntlets as a vestige? What changed? Did he lose the gauntlet in a fight in this memory, or did he have to get a second gauntlet at a later date?

Here are the questions I continue to ask about those gauntlets that make me suspect they’re not what we think:

Why assume the gauntlets are related to his quirk? Horikoshi has done red herrings like this before, like with the mystery behind the design of All Might’s vestige.

And assuming the gauntlets are related to his quirk, why assume it’s a quirk that blasts with force? The gauntlets could be for focused aim. What if his quirk draws things to him? What if the gauntlets control or prevent him from accidental consequences of his quirk?

Why can’t the gauntlets be a normal weapon unrelated to quirks? What if the Second’s quirk is not offensive or useful in direct combat and the gauntlets just supplement his combat ability?

Most importantly: why doesn’t Izuku use any gauntlets or other device like them if he plans to activate the Second’s quirk?

I’m just saying: the gauntlets could very well protect the Second from accidentally touching someone if that’s a concern.

Distance

There are several potential references to the fact that the Second’s quirk may have something to do with speed or crossing distances. Izuku seems to believe running around looking for villains working with AFO can help him ultimately find AFO somehow.

We’ve also got the Second occasionally saying things like “things are bound to accelerate from here,” and of course there’s Izuku flying over the ocean wanting to get to UA faster and apparently believing the Second’s quirk could help him do so.

Additionally, there’s a chance the Second’s quirk could be activated in the Izuku vs Class 1-A at Kamino battle, and if so, there are two other moments that support this potential ability.

The first is this:

Iida closes the gap with Izuku thanks to the help of class 1-A. If you’re like me, you suspect the final panel is a showing of the Second’s quirk activating in some regard. Additionally, may I also point out the title of the chapter. This isn’t “from class A to Izuku Midoriya,” it’s “from class A to One For All.” MIGHTY SUS...

The second moment is of course:

Look, it could be nothing, but it could be something. Katsuki sure crossed that distance super quickly, dontcha think?

Talk no Jutsu

Izuku really seems to wanna talk with the villains, too.

(And note how he says Muscular’s real name in the conversation above?)

As he gets in close with Nagant, he says this, too.

I think he’s trying to connect with people. I think it has something to do with the Second’s quirk.

And my evidence is Ochako Uraraka.

Strangely, over the course of Ochako’s speech to the UA refugees, her face gets redder and redder, and she seems to get more and more tired as she shouts.

We even see her flinch a few times, particularly when whatever she says doesn’t seem to land.

And then she passes out after the whole ordeal.

I don’t know, but it just reminds me of this.

It reminds me of how Izuku flinches a lot in this fight too, particularly whenever someone tries to reach out to him with words.

And with this, I can only come back to the “chain” that OFA seems to be forging between people, and that somehow others seem to be able to influence Izuku and OFA in this way.

Izuku’s eyes

When this moment happened, I also wondered if the Second’s quirk was in play.

“Hagakure just did you a favor.”

So I reread the scene and, well.

See that moment Danger Sense activates?

Why do Izuku’s eyes look so different from one panel to the next?

Maybe it’s nothing but...

Yo just look at those weird circles in his eyes.

LOOK AT THEM.

The Soul

With all these potential “connections of the heart” in the “chain” above, I have to also consider the apparent importance of AFO’s lack of emotions.

And there are all these other references to the soul...

And the one that particularly stands out to me is...

...because the background effect looks eerily similar to...

...the one in the frame depicting the Second here.

Conclusion

Man I don’t fucking know but it’s probably convoluted as fuck.

[sxugaryx]

A bird trapped inside an open cage (Fanfic)

Final Chapter of my Angst series 💜

Geppetto woke up with this mind made up, as he got out of bed Carlo woke up as well, and he grabbed his hand.

“Daddy please don’t leave” Carlo is scared he wants his father by his side.

“I’ll be back soon Carlo” He reassures him, and it’s true he just needs to get something, and Carlo reluctantly lets go.

Geppetto goes to his workshop and from a small box he takes out a glove, a glove he hasn’t used in a long time, it’s mechanical, it is the universal command he used to control all puppets by the power of Ergo.

And Ergo can control memories.

Geppetto makes his way back, Carlo is still awake while Romeo is fast asleep, he tells his son to come with him, they go back to Carlo’s room, it’s been unused since his sons started to sleep with him, he tells Carlo to lay down in his bed.

“Carlo I’m going to need you to stay very still”

He can’t make any mistakes, he doesn’t even know if his plan will work but he is willing to try.

Carlo nods and Geppetto mentally prepares himself.

“Carlo, Daddy loves you no matter what”

Carlo looks at him, “I love you too Daddy”

Geppetto takes his hand up to his son’s chest and activates the device in his hands.

“I’m sorry but, this is going to hurt”

——-

He does the same with Romeo, and now he only needs them to wake up to see the results, Gemini is there too, he chips at Geppetto, he can tell that he isn’t angry but that he is questioning what he did and why he did it.

“Did you have a better idea?” Geppetto asks him, and Gemini just shakes his head; Geppetto can tell that Gemini isn’t exactly thrilled about this but in the end, there is nothing that the small cricket can do.

Romeo ends up waking up first, he can tell that he feels drowsy, and he grabs his chest still feeling pain.

“What…what happened…?” Romeo is confused.

“Romeo, what do you remember?” Geppetto asks him.

Romeo is looking back at his memories, he remembers his time with Carlo at the Monad Charity House, he remembers graduating, and then everything goes blank, he can feel that he was in pain, everything around him on fire and his body being stiff, yet he can’t remember why he was feeling that way or why it happened.

He then remembers waking up here in the house and…

“What did you do to me now?” Romeo is angry, he is tired how losing control of his body.

“Mmm, I guess it didn’t fully work as planned” Well, at least Geppetto is somewhat satisfied, it could have been worse.

“Answer me” Romeo demands, he needs to know.

“I erased some of your memories”

“Some of my memories” Romeo starts to look back and there are many gaps in his memory, now that he thinks about it, since waking up in the house he can’t remember any time he was in distress, he can feel that it happened, that he was sad or scared but he can’t remember why.

“Do you feel better?”

Romeo starts thinking about and… he does feel better.

“I do” Romeo hates to admit it but he has to.

“That’s good” Geppetto is glad that Romeo woke up first, it makes things easier, “I need to talk to you”

“I don’t want to listen to what you-“ but Romeo was interrupted.

“Romeo I’m your father and you will listen to me” Geppetto’s voice is stern, by wanting to talk, he meant that he would speak, and Romeo would be a good boy and listen to him.

Romeo knows better than to speak up again, he shouldn’t make him mad.

“I realize that I’ve been a little too strict with the two of you, and I want to give you a few more freedoms”

Romeo knows that his definitions of freedoms aren’t exactly that, they are just “privileges” that come with many restrictions.

“I’m allowing you to leave, as long as you ask for permission of course, and I can say no, and you better not disobey me” The way his father said that makes Romeo think he has done it before, yet he can’t remember if he has ever tried running away.

“And I mean only you, you can’t take Carlo with you, he is always staying here with me, but Gemini will accompany you each time you go out”

“Can I…. Ask something?” Romeo wants to be sure of something. His father gives him the approval.

“I thought you weren’t letting us go outside because everyone knew we were dead”

“Well, everyone knows Carlo is supposed to be dead, technically no one knows if you are alive or dead, as long as we make an excuse if anyone asks why no one has seen you it’s going to be alright, I have already planned what to do”

Great, so he lied to me, he has been lying this entire time, Romeo wonders what else has been a lie with the disguise of a half-truth.

“If you are feeling small you are staying, if you start to feel small outside you are coming back right away, and you are going to let me take care of you properly”

Romeo looks away, he doesn’t like thinking about being small.

“You need to tell me if you have another accident as well”

Romeo buries his face into his hands, why couldn’t he have made him forget he does that sometimes?… why did he start having accidents? Again, he doesn’t remember, and trying to remember is futile, Romeo knows that no matter how hard he tries he won’t be able to, and maybe that’s a good thing.

“I understand” He knows that he is in no position to negotiate, realistically this is the best deal he is ever going to have, and Romeo knows that he can’t lose it, that he is going to have to follow along, he can’t waste this opportunity.

“I’m not done talking” his father is not playing around, Romeo feels as if he is on trial like he is being judged and everything he says can be used against him.

“You are not becoming a stalker, I don’t care how much that was your dream I’m not allowing you to do that” Being a stalker is too dangerous, Geppetto can’t allow his little boy to be in danger. “Although you can carry a weapon, just in case something bad were to happen you should be prepared”

Romeo just nods, he is starting to wonder what he is even allowed to do while outside.

“I know this might sound harsh, but you aren’t allowed to have friends, and besides, you have Carlo and you have me, what else do you need?” You don’t need anyone else” When his father says that he gets closer to him and starts to play with his hair.

It looks like even in his moments of clarity Geppetto will never let Carlo or Romeo forget that they belong to him. Geppetto gets even closer to Romeo, he needs to tell his son that he won't tolerate bad behavior.

“And don’t even think about trying to leave Krat”

Romeo starts shaking, nothing that he said truly feels like freedom at all, but the chance to not be stuck 24/7 in here is too precious, and also the fact that it’s not just outside the house, that he is allowed to wander around Krat; still, he doesn’t stop shaking.

Geppetto smiles and hugs him, and Romeo hugs him back because he needs comfort at this moment. Then Romeo looks at Carlo who is still asleep and he wonders how Carlo has changed, what was erased from his memory.

“Don’t worry I just made him forget the bad memories, hopefully, he can forget more than you” Geppetto knew what his son was thinking. He won’t be able to remember when he murdered those at the hotel, it’s best he doesn’t know the reason he has his toys in the first place, unfortunately, so that he wouldn’t get suspicious he also had to erase his memories of everyone else.

Carlo’s state of mind is too delicate and that will never change, his mind too broken to gain back any semblance of sanity; so much has happened to Carlo, and truthfully he is the one that has suffered the most in this.

That’s why Geppetto needs to take care of his little Carlo, his little boy needs him, he wasn’t there for him before, but he is there for him now.

Romeo starts wondering how his father can control their Ergo like that, specially because it seems that the device used is only meant to be used on puppets…

Romeo can hear his heartbeat growing faster and louder, he is supposed to be human, he is supposed to be human but was there a point when he wasnt human anymore? He can't remember, the cold, or the stiffness that he feels on his body, that is just in his mind right, his father said before that physically he was fine.

His father who lied, who keeps lying to him, and Carlo.

He does know that Pinocchio's heart was used to bring Carlo back, was it only his heart? Is Carlo's body... No, they can do things humans do, they do everything that humans can do, both of them have to be human because no other puppets can do or feel the things they do.

But Pinocchio was able to do most of the same things they can, does that mean-

“Now Romeo,” Geppetto pauses, “Promise me you’ll be a good boy and do what daddy tells you”

Romeo wants to not say anything at all but he does.

“I promise”

————

Romeo is walking around Rosa Isabel Street killing some time, it feels nice to not be at home all the time, it’s late in the afternoon and he knows that maybe he should head back soon, he has to go back before dark, but before he does, Romeo enters one of the stores, buying a small bunny keychain for Carlo; he loves it when Romeo brings him small him things like that and Romeo is happy to make him happy.

As he is leaving the store he hears a familiar voice behind him.

“Wow Romeo, long time no see, I swore you were dead but like, I’m so glad to see you are okay!”

Romeo turns around, it's an old classmate he and Carlo had, they weren’t really friends per se, but they were on friendly terms.

“Hi Jennifer, yeah… it’s been a long time” Romeo feels like an eternity has passed.

“Mmm you seem different, but like everything and everyone is different now so I guess it’s probably in my mind or something” Jennifer was always talkative, and it looks like she hasn’t changed. “Anyway, what are you up to? Want to go somewhere and catch up? It’s like, so rare to see other students that were at Monad, most of our classmates died”

“I’m sorry but I can’t right now”

“Aawww why not? Aren’t you happy to see me?” Jennifer now had a playful voice.

“I need to go back home” Maybe it’s not that late but Romeo doesn’t dare to break any rules.

“Back home? Where do you live now?” Jennifer gets closer to him and looks him up and down, “Romeo those are some fancy-looking clothes, don’t tell me you hit the lottery and didn’t tell me”

Romeo is starting to get annoyed at all her questions, he knows he shouldn’t but he doesn’t like it when others ask questions about his current situation.

“No, not at all I-“

“Wait don’t tell me that you like, actually own a home now, I’m so jelly, I have to share an apartment with 5 other girls”

“Well, it’s not my home it’s my father’s home” Shit, he didn’t mean to reveal that, “Um, yeah I got adopted, a bit late but I got adopted in the end” It’s true because legally Geppetto is now his father.

And mentally.

“I wish someone had adopted me, omg Romeo you are so lucky!” Jennifer said with enthusiasm.

Romeo doesn’t consider himself lucky at all.

“When can I meet your family?”

Romeo is starting to feel bad, she is clearly very friendly and he tell that she misses him, but he isn’t allowed to have friends and he needs to follow the rules.

“Oh well, you remember Mr. Geppetto right?”

“Carlo’s dad adopted you? Damn, that’s so cool” Jennifer then realized what she said, “Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I know that you and Carlo were good friends and stuff”

“It’s fine don’t worry, but like I said I have to go back” Romeo is not feeling well now, he wants to go home.

“Sorry for bringing the mood down and being such a bummer, but well, I can see that you are in a hurry; hopefully I can see you again Romeo”

Romeo doesn’t want to see her again or see anyone from his past anymore, it's too much for him.

Romeo is heading home, his hands start shaking and Gemini starts singing to make him feel better. Before opening the door, Romeo composes himself, he can’t let his father see that he is upset, he doesn’t want to be babied right now.

Romeo opens the door, and his father greets him.

“Son, did you have fun outside?”

Romeo nodded, truth is, aside from that hiccup he did have a good time.

“Where you a good boy?”

“Yes father” He did behave himself, Gemini is there to prove it.

“Good, now, if you could please spend some time with your brother, he is been having a hard day”

Romeo goes to their room, and they use the room mainly to hang out or rest sometimes, as they still have to sleep in the same bed as their father; Carlo is lying down in the bed but he is awake, as soon as he sees Romeo his mood gets better.

“Romeo you are back!” Carlo is really happy to see him.

Romeo pulls out the keychain he bought for him and his brother hugs him, he hugs him and doesn’t want to let go.

“Are you hearing her again?” How he wishes that Carlo didn’t have to deal with this, even after part of his memories were erased unfortunately she didn’t leave.

Carlo nods, “I don’t… understand why mommy says those things, I’ve… I’ve never killed anyone,” A few tears come out of Carlo’s eyes; and Romeo wipes them away.

“It’s not true, you’ve have never hurt anyone” Romeo lies to him because there is no good in telling him the truth.

“Why does mommy say that I died? I haven’t died, right?”

“No Carlo you haven’t, I know it’s hard but just, stay strong” he can only offer him support, there is nothing he can do about it unfortunately, so he is there for him.

“Why don’t we go downstairs and play in the basement with our toys?” Romeo wants to cheer him up, and he also wants to relax and play for some time.

————

Their father calls them upstairs for dinner and they join him, Romeo is glad that he is allowed to eat by himself again and he enjoys it while it lasts because if he starts feeling small he has to be fed by his father, just like Carlo.

“Romeo I heard that there is a festival coming in two weeks, do you want to go?”

Yes he has heard about it, but the festival starts in the evening and it lasts until late at night, Romeo is about to say something but his father speaks.

“You have been a very good boy lately, I’m giving you permission to go, as long as you come before midnight everything will be alright”

“Really? Really I can go?!” Romeo is excited, he has never been allowed to do something like that before.

Even after everything, he still has you under his spell.

Romeo pushes away those thoughts to the back of his mind, they aren’t important, he shouldn’t listen to them, and he has to be a good boy to keep his privileges.

“I wish I could go” Carlo pouted, he is only allowed outside the house, not outside like Romeo, and Daddy always has to be with him.

“Carlo sweetie you know why you have to stay here with me” Geppetto is doing his sweet voice again, “You know daddy has to take care of you”

Romeo and Carlo decide to play in the living room after eating, Gemini is really doing his best to entrain Carlo; Romeo starts to think, when did he meet Gemini? His father gave the two of them Gemini so that they could have a friend but, did he see him somewhere before? Suddenly Romeo starts to feel cold, and once again he pushes those thoughts away from his mind, his father made him forget, if he made him forget that means it was something painful, something he shouldn’t remember.

Well, Gemini is a really good friend anyway, it doesn’t matter how they meet, Romeo starts playing with Gemini as well and he starts to feel small, his father who is sitting on the couch watching them notices that.

“Romeo, are you feeling small again?”

He wants to say no, he wants to deny it and force himself not to be small, but Romeo knows better than to fight back, so he simply nods.

He tells Romeo to come with him and he does, because Romeo is a very obedient boy, he starts cuddling him and Carlo joins them too because he also wants affection.

Geppetto is looking back at the past again, he should have erased all their painful memories sooner, he doesn’t know why he didn’t think about that before. Not remembering things makes everything so much better.

Geppetto is remembering the past, how everyone at the hotel is dead and it’s all his fault.

Venigni’s death is his fault, he should have de-escalated the situation, his best friend was murdered by his son, and poor Carlo didn’t know any better, it's his fault he died.

Pinocchio, his son, is dead and it’s all his fault.

The son who loved him unconditionally, the son that he used as a tool, the son who loved him even if Geppetto didn’t deserve his love.

He will never forget them, no matter how painful it is, no matter how hard it is to live with the things he has done. He doesn’t deserve forgiveness, even if he was able to, he doesn’t deserve to have the easy way out and delete all of it from his mind.

No matter how much it haunts him, he knows he is a bad person, a horrible person, and he is going to hell for everything he has done, but he can’t live in the past, this burden is only his to bear and his sons should have nothing to do with it.

Now the right thing to do is to take care of his little boys, to make them happy.

“Well, let me prepare a bath for the two of you before you both go to bed”

——-

Geppetto bathes his sons and changes them so they are ready for their bedtime. As he is tugging them into bed, Geppetto hands Romeo his pacifier and his son accepts it without protest, because when Romeo is small he becomes his little baby boy and Geppetto has to take extra care of him.

He tugs them into bed, he sees that they already are snuggled together as he turns off the lights and leaves the room, he will join them later.

———

Romeo had a sword in his hand, some idiot had tried to mug him while on his way to the festival, obviously he didn’t kill him but he did knock him out.

Gemini started chirping at him.

“Yeah, I know, not a word about this to father” He can’t let his father know, he gets all paranoid about his safety all the time. It’s good to know that Gemini always has his back.

It was a fun event, Romeo had to carry around Gemini in his hands so that he could see everything properly but he didn’t mind, Gemini was his friend and he wanted him to enjoy their time there too.

Romeo bought a pair of marching necklaces so that he and Carlo could always wear them together, he also bought another keychain, this one had a small green heart and Romeo attached it to Gemini’s cage.

Gemini was glowing yellow and couldn’t stop chirping.

“Gemini it’s nothing, you are a great friend, you deserve something nice as well”

Romeo makes his way back home, at 11 pm, just before midnight, plus the festival was far away it took him some time to get back home. His father was waiting for him as soon as he opened the door.

“Son, how did everything go?”

“Great! Everything was great, thank you so much for letting me go!”

Romeo is really happy… he can sense that he used to be mad at his father before, that he hated him, he wanted his father to be dead, but Romeo can’t remember why he felt that way about him, his father has always been so kind and caring. But father says that he is also sick like Carlo so maybe that’s why.

His father hugged him, “Where you a good boy?”

“I was” He is, Romeo is a very good boy.

“It’s way past your bedtime son, let’s get you ready for bed”

Suddenly Romeo feels a pain in his chest, but his father holds him and tells him that he just needs to rest.

Romeo's head hurts, his mind is trying to tell him something, that he is forgetting about something. He is upset and he tells his daddy, who tells him that maybe he still isn't ready to stay out for long, he tells him that he is still little and things like this are hard for him.

Romeo feels small, very small, he clings to his daddy because he doesn't feel well, Romeo lets out a small whimper, he feels overwhelmed and he has an accident.

His daddy changes him and tugs him into bed, Romeo still feels a little fuzzy but this daddy gives him his paci and it makes him feel better and he finally can go to sleep and forget.

———

Carlo and Romeo are outside their house, Geppetto now trusts Romeo enough to be outside with Carlo for some time without him needing to be there, it’s good for them to spend time outside without him looming over them, although obviously, it’s only outside their home, Carlo can’t go and wander around Krat like Romeo.

Romeo is swinging around his sword, and Carlo is watching him, his brother has become so strong, he wonders how Romeo got so good at using a weapon, it’s not like he had any experience with it before. Especially since he is only supposed to use it to defend himself.

Gemini starts chirping at them to grab their attention, he is in Carlo’s hands and he takes a closer look.

“Are the two of you happy?” Then can tell that’s what he asked them.

“Yes! I’m really happy Gemini!” Carlo says with enthusiasm, and his brother agrees with him; “Why do you ask?”

Gemini stays quiet, but his cage glows yellow and they take it as a sign that he just wanted to know.

Carlo knows that he has a good life because he has his brother and he has his daddy and Gemini with him. Daddy says that he is sick, that’s why he isn’t allowed to go out like Romeo, it’s a bit strange because Daddy says Romeo is also sick like him just “less sick”, well, his daddy probably knows more about that stuff, his daddy knows about everything.

And sometimes Carlo can feel a deep pain in his chest like that pain is trying to remind him of something, but Daddy takes care of him and tells him to ignore it. Like how he tells him to ignore Mommy’s voice or ignore the bad thoughts that tell him to harm himself.

Daddy is a great father, he is always there for him and Romeo, and he spoils them, even if they are stuck at home daddy always him what he wants, Carlo sometimes asks him for other toys to play with and his daddy always buys him the best ones, although the true best ones are the ones he built just for him.

Sometimes… mommy says bad stuff about his toys, and he tells him that she used to be mean to his toys and that he hurt his toys but as always Carlo knows that he has to ignore her.

Romeo stops and starts to look at the horizon, Carlo joins him, since they live on top of a hill they can see the rest of the city from the horizon.

Both are now holding hands, and while they continue their gaze, a few tears come out of their eyes, and for a second they can almost hear something in the back of their minds.

“Please don’t forget…”

“Carlo, Romeo, your playtime outside is over, come back here” Geppetto shouts to his two little boys.

Carlo and Romeo look at each other, and they feel… strange but sometimes that happens, and their daddy makes things feel better.

So, as the good little boys they are, both of them do what they are told, and go back inside.

[mechanicalinertia]

STMPD Reviews Black Lagoon Fanfiction: BigCountry75's Redneck of Roanapur

This one was recommended to me by a dude on the Black Lagoon subreddit, and I clicked on it somewhat reluctantly. It started well enough, I flipped through a few later chapters and it was pretty cool, but it's 288K words, folks. Moby fucking Dick is 209K words. And while it's true that many, many fics are longer than Moby Dick, or indeed most officially published works, there was just something about it. I was reluctant to read an OC-centric Black Lagoon fic, though, because new-guy-comes-into-town-and-fucks-shit-up rarely works in BGC fanfic, so why should it work in this case?

I needn't have worried. Redneck of Roanapur is well-written, fairly competently characterized, and like Bullets, my previous review, relentlessly fun. Reading it over the past two weeks on-and-off has been a fairly good experience, and, too, an exercise in how (in my eyes) to make a fic defined by one Cool Original Character really work.

In that light, if I want to talk about RoR, I have to talk about its main character, a dude from the boonies of Michigan known as Country. No, really, that's the name he gets, nothing else. And, well... okay, the one thing that might sink this fic for you is that when it's told from his first-person perspective, his, uh, accent is written down in the prose. This can be annoying at times, but in all honesty it isn't as annoying as you'd think it would be, because as far as quasi-authorial inserts go, he still describes things clearly enough to make everything work. His spelling's intentionally off, but his grammar isn't. Ergo, I can read it without being annoyed.

So: Country is an ex far-right militiaman who ditched his former comrades in True Patriotism, and in his effort to leave the country stole a goddamn WW2 B-24 and hightailed it blindly to Roanapur. Yeah. That's it. That's his backstory. He gets his hands on another WW2-era fighter plane later, too.

Okay, so compare that to other various OC-centric Lagoon fics which will not be named, ones starring ex-CIA operatives and elite soldiers with more conventionally troubled pasts and their skills mostly centering around the shooting of guns. They're cool in the loosest sense, but I find most of them incredibly boring, and the fic has to work harder to get around that more often than not. (Success is possible, but I've only seen like one guy pull it off.) Country is more interesting to me because a) his backstory is more out-there but still plausible, it's a backstory you don't see every day, and b) he has a unique set of skills that other characters in Lagoon don't have to the same extent.

I mean, think about it. Those two elements are what make an interesting Black Lagoon character in the actual franchise. Roberta with her FARC training and maid getup; Balalaika's Soviet paratrooper glory days and how far she's fallen; Ginji the yakuza who can literally deflect bullets. There's something that makes all these characters more than just ex-spooks or mercs with training. Some eccentricity. Some wackiness. Some small amount of historical grounding. Country has that, even if his backstory isn't super important. Country has his WW2-era planes, which are fun as hell to watch him and Lagoon Company use. So, he fits right in.

Anyway, Country lands in Roanapur, gets hooked up to the Lagoon Company to use the B-24 as a courier aircraft, and pretty quickly things get weird. See, not only does Country piss off the head of a non-canon crime syndicate pretty quickly in a bar fight, but said syndicate head is tied to a nameless Doctor and his equally nameless Benefactor, who are searching for guinea pigs to do immortality / resurrection experiments on. The Doctor resurrects Hansel and Gretel successfully, they escape, they wind up at the airfield Lagoon Company now occupies. So they're hanging out, raised by the team to not be total murderous monsters, and eventually they attract the attention of the Doctor and his Benefactor, who turns out to be a powerful American politician with ties to Extra Order, the Not-Executive-Outcomes PMC from the first arc of Lagoon. Pretty soon, Lagoon Company and their patrons are duking it out with that one non-canon syndicate and EO in short order, culminating in an epic battle for the fate of the city, all of which is just incredibly fun to read in its sheer paramilitaristic ultraviolence.

Anyway the fic swings between that violence and a lot of surprisingly cutesy shipping. Country falls in love with Sawyer, for one, and that doesn't feel weird, doesn't feel self-insert-y, it makes sense for how the characters are being written in that context... Rock and Revy finally get together... Shenhua and Lotton get together, which I'm kinda iffy on but what the heck... Chang and Balalaika hook up in secret... Even Eda and Dutch pair up as secret agents! So everything is very slice-of-life-y when military planning and blowing things up isn't the order of the day. Oh, and Leigharch comes back towards the end, which is great because I always liked him. In fact, I think that's the main flaw in the fic: the ending feels way too cute and tidy for something like Black Lagoon, a franchise where endings, I feel, need to be ambiguous at best and depressing as hell at worst. It undermines the fun one has reading Country and the Lagoon Company operate a bomber to blow the everloving shit out of a PMC submarine base, or drug fields, or mansions, or whatever. It's an ending that feels at once natural for the fic, but not as earned as it could be.

But beyond that, Redneck of Roanapur is a simple, long, but super-fun thrill ride. If you're looking for something silly to read over the long summer months, flip through this and enjoy yourself.

[blue-chimera]

Who Cares if We're "Fair" to Fictional Characters?: A closer look at one side of the coin

(continued from Part 1)

So, I believe the primary value of any kind of storytelling (besides the joy we get from stories) lies with a story's ability to shape our understanding of ourselves & each other. To quote a piece I've been working on, "Storytelling can help us to see these things with enough distance to judge but enough closeness to empathize (and thereby understand our own vulnerability to making these kinds of mistakes)."

To me, the downside of attributing a character's actions unfairly¹ to a personality flaw rather than appreciating how circumstances shaped their choices is that we close the door on an opportunity to picture ourselves in that character's shoes & understand the choices we might make (and thereby learn & grow).

For example: If you see Dean dismissing Sam's assertions about Lenore in S2:E3 "Bloodlust" & you take the easiest possible view of his motivations — "Dean does this cuz he's just violent/prejudiced/an asshole like that" — then, assuming you don't see yourself as violent or prejudiced or an asshole, there's not really a lesson to be learned. Dean does this cuz he's a bad person & you're not a bad person; ergo, you wouldn't do that. You can't even imagine it. However, if you understand Dean's actions as primarily born out of a complex set of circumstances, you can imagine yourself making the same choices.

The value in this kind of imagining is twofold...

The lesser gain, in my opinion, is the value gained just from flexing your empathy muscles. Empathy is a habit we can build consciously in low-stakes situations so we have it to hand when things get actually tough & we're tempted to make snap judgments in the real world. (I'm less interested in this angle for the moment, but there's definitely an argument to be made here.)

The more important gain has nothing to do with Dean (or whatever character you're talking about) and everything to do with you: with understanding what missteps you yourself might take under these same circumstances (or their real-world analogues) and why, each individual one feeling like a reasonable reaction to your circumstances but cumulatively leading you farther & farther down a bad path. My assertion is this: if you really understand how & why a character makes a particular mistake, the hundred little influences that played a role, then you can imagine yourself caught in the maelstrom of those same influences, and you'll be better prepared to act deliberately & mindfully (rather than thoughtlessly, reactively) when the day comes that you are.

To say it another way: We learn by making mistakes. But if you can empathize well enough with another person (real or fictional) to see all the little pieces pushing them towards their mistakes (allowing you to imagine yourself in their shoes, responding to each push), it's almost as good as making those mistakes yourself. You'll be better equipped to recognize these situations when you end up in them and to see your reactions in them as choices (and under your control).

Now, obviously, you'll never be confronted with the decision to kill or spare a vampire. But you may find yourself dealing with grief & a situation that causes you a great deal of anxiety at the same time, and you might feel like you can't talk to anyone about it (much like Dean felt after John's awful final words). Maybe you're afraid of burdening your friends. Maybe you're in a new city or a new school and don't really have any. And maybe it's caused you to make bad choices, like hanging out with some people you shouldn't have or doing some things you're not proud of. If so, you're in a situation that's broadly analogous to Dean's in "Bloodlust," struggling with his father's death, agonizing over John's dying words, trying to bury himself in something that gives him comfort, and listening to a new friend who tells him that (over-)indulgence in the same thing brought comfort to him when he was going through a rough time.

And maybe you're not prone to lashing out with fists when a loved one tries to confront you about your unhealthy coping techniques, but maybe you would lash out with words & damage your relationships that way. Maybe you would be tempted to close your ears to warnings, or close your eyes to harm you've done...

It probably sounds silly to say that a fantasy TV show could influence you to make better choices under those circumstances. And, for most folks, I can't imagine that any one story is going to be the tipping point — or even come consciously to mind. But whether you perceive a particular character as a role model or an "anti" role model (like Bobby telling Dean that he's better than John "so don't be him"), I think your capacity to handle tough situations gracefully is increased by cultivating a deeper understanding of how other people (real & fictional) handled similar ones, even if the specific details in some of those cases are fantastical.² In looking at how circumstances shaped others' decisions, good & bad, you step outside yourself and become more aware of your reactions to the same.

It's about empathy towards others, yes, but more than that, it's about self-reflection, mindfulness, and gaining wisdom from other people's mistakes so we can avoid making them ourselves. So... in the end, while it doesn't really matter if we're "fair" to fictional characters, I do see value in tipping the scales towards empathy. If we have to err on one side or the other (and, being imperfect, we kinda do have to "pick a lean" — when all else is equal or knowledge is sparse, where ya gonna fall?), I will err on a generous interpretation. (Until or unless someone comes along & convinces me otherwise, of course!)

¹The question of fairness here is a practical one more than a moral one for me. If you're aiming to imagine yourself in a character's circumstances to understand how they made a particular mistake, & the circumstances actually had very little to do with it, then you're not going to gain much from the exercise.

²Just as you can draw lessons from the fable of the Ants & the Grasshopper without being an insect, you can draw lessons from the story of a monster-hunter without any vampires in your life. 😅

[phoenix-flamed]

There's something I've been itching to write, so I'm finally going to sit down and just do it.

It pertains to the contents of the sidequest "Where There's A Will", and how they relate to/contrast with my muse's views. Obviously, it's spoiler-heavy for the game!

Okay, how to organize my thoughts here.

Elwin wrote his will the night before they left for Phoenix Gate. As you can see, the man had a plan -- and we find out the full details of aforementioned plan from Cyril and Goditha. He also acknowledges that what he intends to start will likely need to be continued by his sons, and thus entrusts to them the monumental task of picking up the torch from him, so to speak, when the time comes to.

Unfortunately, that time came sooner rather than later, because Elwin had made enemies with these plans of his, not least of all being his own wife.

To recap, we find out in this sidequest that Elwin had intended to level the playing field in terms of social barriers across Rosaria, most notably by putting an end to slavery in the duchy and giving Bearers their freedom. He also had intended to set up hospices to care for those Bearers who were afflicted by the curse from their magic usage, and establish a university that would focus on coming up with and implementing technological advancements, in order to wean Rosaria off of its usage of magic. Not only would this make life better for Bearers, it would also give them an added defense against the Blight as well.

Or that's my understanding, at least. I may be wrong on that, and if I am, I profusely apologize.

Whenever I write "Miles" in my AU verses, he often regrets his actions and choices regarding Rosaria's future, and the heavy burdens he placed upon his sons, including the one placed upon them by this will. Which might seem kind of weird, because Elwin in this letter doesn't seem to have any qualms with entrusting this undertaking to Joshua and Clive.

I promise it's intentional, as even weirder as that might sound.

When his will was written, Elwin was... well, alive. It was written the night before they'd left for Phoenix Gate, ergo before The Night of Flames. He had been aware that he had made enemies politically. He knew that there were those within his very council who might try something funny in order to prevent him from pushing forward with his plans. But what he didn't know at the time this was written, was the full extent of the consequences that would come from his actions; he didn't know just how bad things would get for his people, he didn't realize what would happen to his children as a result of his decisions.

His aim had been to make life better for everyone in the duchy, and ensure lasting peace and prosperity for them -- never had he considered that his ambitions would instead bring Rosaria to ruin, nor that it would be Anabella herself spearheading the suffering and destruction and death. He had also never considered that it would be Anabella herself that would, quite literally, have his head.

Elwin, or "Miles" as he goes by in my AUs, has had a lot of time to mull over everything that went wrong, everything that he did wrong. He has the gift of hindsight that Elwin didn't at the time this will was canonically written. He's had time for reflection on the various ways in which he failed his sons, the ways in which he failed his people, and yes, even failed Anabella.

And he's had time to understand the enormous burden he placed upon Clive and Joshua, both before and after his death, and that what had started as a means to give them and everyone else in Rosaria a better future has now become a scramble to clean up the mess left behind by his death.

Suddenly, all of the good that he had tried to do doesn't seem so "good" to him, but rather "misguided". This is not to say that he didn't have the right idea -- he did! He just didn't have the means, the support(especially political), or the full knowledge to see it executed as well as someone like Cid does.

[twospoons-andafork]

Ramblings of a crazed madman pt.1

I don't know if anyone has brought this up yet, I don't entirely care, terrible segue, i've been watching rottmnt, thinking, pondering if you will. One of the things i've been thinking about is the magic present in their universe but also mutants and yokai as a whole. I've come to believe that while a lot of mutants (and quite possibly yokai as well) have powers based around what they are, standard stuff (worm can regenerate, mutants like Raph are stronger, the turtles (sans Raph) can fit in their shells despite such a thing being anatomically improbable ((we’ll get back to that)) they also possess powers based around their personality, this is not my point however, as this is common knowledge so we will move on.

Warren Stone, worm, former news anchor, romantic interest to Hypno; you may look at him and his skill set and think he's just a comic relief, and on many (most) levels he is, however, I've noticed something intriguing. Warren of course has his mutant abilities, stretchiness, sword hair (unconfirmed by main cannon ((-to my knowledge)) cloning (unconfirmed) enhanced regeneration ect, the show makes it seem like his power set is a joke, like he's so forgettable that even the characters themselves don't remember him. But that's the thing, that might be his power, think about it, the only people able to remember substantial details about Warren are allies or sudo-allies. Hypno, because they are partners, and April because of her admiration of him as a news anchor. There are several instances of characters forgetting Warren or not noticing he’s even nearby despite his loud attention attracting behavior. Add to that the fact that he’s one of the only charters to predominantly go by his actual name or simply anchorman.

Then there's Donnie, we know for a fact that Donnie (sweet, sweet nearly incapable of lying, Donnie.) one: records everything (allegedly) and two is unlikely to continue a ‘joke’ such as that for as long as it has been ‘running’ ergo, Warren has some sort of power that dampens the memories of others to a certain extent.

Take season 1 episode 10: Stuck On You, the turtles use Warren as some sort of makeshift rope despite his (numerous) protests. As far as I can tell they don't acknowledge or register him being there outside of his function as a rope.

Even after all is said and done they walk away without a second thought, as if no one was there but them.

In the episode newsworthy: They (sort of) mistake him for a (weird) baby hippo ((I know for a fact Donnie knows what a hippo and worm respectively are))

And the scrapped episode with Warren two:The regular Warren (Warren actual) is unrecognized by the turtles to a comic degree (April recognizes him, she just says she doesn't (briefly) to deflect. Warren ‘actual’ deflects attention while Warren Two attracts attention, further adding to my theory that at least some part of his power set is attention based.

Extra stuff i found interesting:

Take this with a grain of salt but I don't believe his constant forgetability is just a gag. It might be mystic.

Good day.

Topics of possible future rambles:

-splinters possible (probable) kill count

-repo mantis

-dissecting rottmnt a book (cover?) i found

-donnie’s connection with the multiverse-ect.

Credits: I got my screenshots and transcript from the tmnt wiki:https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/Newsworthy

https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/Warren_Stone

Storyboard from the scrapped episode: https://youtu.be/fnJFgK4gNyY