#and i dont like reading too many things all at once especially if its multiple of the same character

[rubiter20]

man im going to need to read some summaries of whats going on in zdarsky daredevil i only got to issue 19

[hinokagutsuchi]

it sucks that i am committed to writing kotone as close to her canon characterization as possible, something that is tricky but doable for the others, because she really does not have many consistent characterization moments. they're either player determinant or from pq2, which have their unique issues

if you go by just p3p, assuming all social links were maxed and only aigis was romanced (the others are player determinant and ultimately, you end up with aigis anyway so im assuming platonic relations all around), you have to go by social link dialogue options and very little else. luckily, s. links have objectively correct answers and thus contain things that canonically kotone would and would not say. this at least gives us a little bit; she's kind, a good listener, and willing to show her fierce side if the needs arises (see saori's social link). but everything else?

now what we have left are the choices during s. links or story events that have NO consequences. this is where things go off the rails: depending on what you choose, you can end up with wildly different versions of the same character. for example, at multiple points, you have the choice between attempting to use violent force to solve a problem or trying to get others to help/resolve it peacefully. we see this is yukari's social link where kotone can try to straight up fight three dudes harrassing yukari, and in saori's where she can try to punch a girl who slapped saori over something that wasnt her fault.

depending on what the player chooses, we get two very different results: either someone who can and does fight well, but chooses to talk out her problems, or someone who seems almost eager to start a fight. its important to note that no one else in this entire cast except maybe akihiko displays this much willingness to throw hands. and again the problem with determinant choices: what do the choices you didn't select mean? was it something kotone was thinking about but didn't do or an abstract method of building your own protagonist? we don't know.

i mentioned pq2 earlier, and my main issue with it is despite kotone being a fully written character, we dont get any more information you couldn't get from p3p or just by looking at her. yes, she's pretty and social and bubbly and fun but she's a little sad too! and now shes back to being fun. yes, you can put together that she's pushing her own emotions down to not burden the group (as it her role in p3p to help others shoulder their burdens) but we really don't see any of it past that one scene. meanwhile in p3p, especially with ryoji near the end of the game, she can say some fairly haunting stuff. like when she's asked what lovers talk about, all she can think of a depressing or (and this is the really worrying one) pointless things. what does that mean? what is kotone's definition of a pointless thing to talk about? it could well be she deems her own emotions as "pointless" because beyond these perhaps unintentionally revealing lines, she never ever talks about how she feels. like ever.

this makes it really important to me to have a very strong interpretation of kotone in order to accurately write her (i dont mean to insult anyone, but i am not a fan of works where her personality is not pulled from the text. i once read a fic where for no reason whatsoever she was portrayed as very immature and described as "childish" and it really did not make any sense to me). so here's my take:

i think kotone is a girl who has a very carefully crafted persona of cheerful indifference; not so much "i don't care", more so "i don't mind". she's clearly okay talking with people, but has no motivation to become close until she connects with SEES (whether because of the wild card ability urging her to do so, or if you're like me and writing an alternate timeline, a golden opportunity to make friends for once.) she is genuinely kind, friendly, and a good listener, that is not a mask; rather its the non-existence of negative emotion she seems to display, using her inherent selflessness to keep everyone at arms length, to make sure things are "about her" as little as possible. she shoulders the burdens of others to avoid talking about or dealing with what burdens her.

however, that negative emotion still absolutely exists: we know she was bounced from one foster home to another, signifying neglect or worse from the parents and/or because kotone was (or perceived as) doing something wrong. this rough childhood shows us the cracks in the mask, as she can be standoffish, depressed, angry, or outright violent towards those who wrong her or the ones she loves. she doesn't want to talk to and gives a nosy girl who just wants akihiko's secrets so she can date him attitude, she's more than happy to tell maiko's parents exactly what she thinks of them, makes at least one actively suicidal comment ("i wish i was dead..." when talking to junpei and yukari), and even attempts to kill takaya after defeating him in battle. the only reason she doesn't is because aigis asks her not to.

in short, her cheerful and energetic exterior is just armor to cover up her severe depression, anger issues, and an unwillingness to open up to others (whether because she doesn't want to be vulnerable, because she doesn't trust others with how she feels, or both).

anyway. this was just a very long-winded ramble. feel free to toss in what you think in the tags, comments, whatever. i honestly love talking about characters like this and am happy to discuss

[cdid-pf-culture-is]

I'm unsure if this is the right place to ask a question like this, but I think I need advice

We are a P-DID system, or at least we think we are. We have began to question polyfragmented / complex DID because we have a lot of the signs / symptoms (most of our alters are level 4 fragments / not developed too much past their role, we have a large innerworld with multiple layers, we have around 11 known subsystems, some group some alter-in-alter, we have complex splitting structures / we split tons of alters from even the tiniest amount of stress and stuff like that). But we're unsure if we're actually polyfragmented because we're pretty sure we're P-DID and many people have been saying you can't be complex / polyfragmented while being P-DID. (We're pretty sure we have P-DID because our host acts as a dominant alter and is always in front, hes never left front to our knowledge, and we don't really have too much amnesia other than greyouts and emotional amnesia)

its ok! things are a bit chaotic right now but i will try to answer as diligently as i can.

we can relate to this actually. we also thought we had P-DID but then discovered that we have alters of varying degrees of dissociation/amnesia/elaboration. thats not all to it but i will explain that in a bit.

you are right with OSDD/P-DID not being able to be polyfragmented. the theory of structural dissociation explains that well and its basically impossible to have a less dissociated system structure but still be polyfragmented since its not just "a lot of alters".

what helped us with these things is trying to keep an open mind and keeping in mind that labels arent an absolute. we really wanted to find our label too and that can help at first but dont get stuck on finding it or get stuck on putting yourself into a box. that can have more of a negative effect than you might think.

second off, its ok to have grey-outs and emotional amnesia even if you are a polyfragmented system. the varying levels of dissociation mean that there wont just be one huge blackout, because the system was built on maintaining covertness. blackout amnesia isnt by far the norm and not necessary for a complex structure.

if you believe that you have multiple levels of alters, layers, subsystems, a complex inner world, a lower splitting tolerance or other splitting patterns, complex fronting patterns, a lot of fragments, etc (ik you mentioned some of those), then its perfectly reasonable to assume you have a complex/polyfragmented structure and say you are a complex/polyfragmented system and taking the label. in the end if you feel comfortable with things then thats what counts.

also you can have the switching style of a P-DID System because of how your system had to develop in terms of covertness, but that doesnt mean that P-DID is all there is, yknow. like i said before, we can relate because we once thought the same thing. but non-possessive switching is a thing and its just as valid as full on possessive switching. its way more common too and especially for polyfrag systems not to have full/entire switches also due to the number of fragments we often have.

i hope i answered everything. if you have more questions or need a clearer answer then please dont hesitate to ask! i am a bit out of order and very dissociated so things might read a bit weird but ill try my best to answer stuff!!

[fabaceous]

okay i watched the episode i ate some lunch i read some posts and here are my “quick” takes

- i liked the unreliable narration aspect of shauna hallucinating/dreaming that the baby turned out fine bc i love unreliable narration/hallucination and even though it was not hard to guess that it was not real, i dont mind that kind of thing bc im a pretty easygoing tv/movie watcher. BUT i, like many of you, thought it was weird and surprising that she ended up saying(/dreaming/hallucinating) that she loved the baby. if i were to try to explain it away in a way that makes sense to me personally id say maybe she’s subconsciously imagining/hoping that she could love the baby bc she feels like its what she’s supposed to do and she’s afraid she wouldnt be able to when the time comes, but if so, the writing should make that clearer, so instead im forced to assume they really chose to write her as being enamored with this baby immediately which. well... is it too much to ask for her to at LEAST have complicated/conflicted feelings, even if they didnt want to commit to her actually not wanting the baby? it feels like a bit of a wasted opportunity in a show that prides itself on going to dark/twisted/taboo places. and im just generally weary of this idea that, like, every woman just instantly falls in love and magically develops maternal instincts when she has a baby. i dont know. ive never given birth, maybe its true. but it feels like that’s the messaging i’ve gotten from EVERYWHERE, from the world, from my own mother, from mommy bloggers, whatever, and i guess just once i would’ve liked to see something a little more complicated

- personally i thought/hoped that the baby hallucinations were going to go in a very different direction, especially when adult nat took the goldfish out of the water, i thought shauna was going to like, mercy-kill the baby or something bc she’d realized he didnt have a chance if they were all starving and she couldnt even make milk. BUT THATS JUST ME

- akilah and her emotional support mouse... so cute but i cannot be the only one who was dying a little at the thought of her delivering the baby after freshly petting a mouse 😭 like please wash ur hands first pleeease

- congrats to the lottienat girls who just keep winning... must be nice! and the taivan road trip brought me a significant amount of joy i have to say

- i share the concern that it is starting to feel a bit retcon-y and inconsistent. like as soon as they were done with the jackie arc they said “i dont want to play with you anymore” despite setting it up in s1 as THE defining moment of shauna’s time in the wilderness. its the blessing and the curse of multiple timelines...they can be soooo rewarding but you have to be REALLY sure of what happened in each one and you have to stick to it! (dark did this well! i think they had pretty much everything planned out right from s1 so there were certain moments in s1 that you still didn’t fully understand until the end of s3, it was very intricate and most importantly it was internally consistent. but i digress...) i guess it sticks out to me the most with this particular storyline bc it’s the one i was most invested in, but im sure there are some other examples too

i guess the bottom line is that in a well-done dual timeline show, the information you learn about the earlier timeline should enhance and enrich your understanding of the later timeline. and in some of cases it did, but in some cases it’s falling flat...i dont know i could probably rub together a few more brain cells and come up with some more thoughts but other people have already said it pretty well and unless i have a brainwave i dont think i have much to add!

[qumiiiquinnquin]

it just dawned on me.

that throughout my entire life , ive been abused. its taken its toll on my mental health during my childhood , but not once did i ever think about just. ending it , or ever doing anything to myself.

this probably immediately sounds ridiculous. most kids in an abusive family do try to escape , resort to sh or...disappearing. why didn't i then? was i really abused?

but i never considered any of it , not until i was probably 15 or 16.

the first time i wanted to end it was when i was 11. it wasn't due to family , it was due to thinking a very close friend of mine no longer cared about me. yea , it was over a friendship. she claimed she did still care , and it was on me not participating in conversations. its kind of hard to jump into a conversation though where you're immediately excluded or never acknowledged though... but i claim responsibility and was wrong to feel the way i did and accuse her ((middle school drama)).

but aside from the first time that i learned i shouldnt be allowed to have friends , i otherwise never considered disappearing. the situations with my family my whole life felt normal to me. being yelled at and spanked by my dad up until i was 11 but yelled at again and him being a bit physical with me when i became chronically depressed and severely anxious when i was 16 and 17 , being a bit neglected by my mom and put into multiple situations that could have k!lled me or gotten the cops called on her , being yelled at by my stepdad and never allowed to criticize my mom and always treated like he knows everything and i don't know anything , being manipulated and emotionally abused by my nana and “aunt”...

both my parents did things that easily could've gotten the cops called on them for abuse , since i was a baby. of course , no one found out. and everyone in my family claims to feel sorry and guilty for everything they've done to my sibling and i , except my “aunt” and nana , the latter saying to me before that she's never done anything wrong to my sibling and i. and really , i dont have the guts to call anyone on my family because i know both of my parents and stepdad care about my sibling and i a lot , despite the rough childhood.

besides my parents and stepdad , my “aunt” and nana were the other main sources for my declining mental health , and its because of them that im shocked im still here. as i said , both were very emotionally abusive and manipulative. they were judgmental and strict about our appearances , what we ate , how much we ate , our weights , and our attitudes. especially my “aunt” , who would not even accept a poker face. if you were not smiling , you were automatically accused or questioned of not enjoying yourself , and guilt-tripped for making her and my uncle spend so much money to ensure my sibling and i had a good time.

she wanted things her way , and every time we “misbehaved” it resulted in over the top punishments. we would have to eat lunch that day downstairs the room we stayed in , we couldn't really talk and multiple times we had to write apology letters and read them aloud to her. one time when we did this , after we read her our letters , she brought up how she never met her dad and was raised in poverty , and along with other hardships , she would make herself cry and my sibling and i were forced to console her. another time when we were punished , she took away all of our electronics , and when they were reluctantly given back to us , my sibling and i saw the message on our lock screens that too many attempts had been made and another attempt could be made in a half hour. in other words , she had tried to get into our phones , likely to see if we were communicating with our mom and stepdad or our dad about our “aunt.” one of the days when we got in trouble , my sibling and i had enough and were downstairs , cursing about her. she had clearly been standing right there listening , because she flung open the door right after one of our comments and threatened to fly us back home and make sure our dad grounds us. i told her why she cant just give us back to our mom and stepdad , and she claimed she couldn't do that , and its either we fix our behavior or we go home - this is something she is not allowed to do. for flights to and from my mom's and my dad's , only my mom and dad can coordinate that. to anyone that needs to know the times and dates so they can make sure we’re packed and ready , they will be notified. otherwise , nobody else but my mom and dad are allowed to arrange flights for my sibling and i traveling to and from home.

but she had eavesdropped on us before , doing it an earlier visit after we went to bed and the door was closed. we were whisper complaining , but at one point my sibling stopped me and somebody walked away from the door. she would grab us by the arm or wrist a lot and sternly speak to us a couple inches from our faces , since we were 4 and 5 or 5 and 6. she told me once how we were embarrassing her. she often compared us to other children , saying the kids she would occasionally watch who were older than us acted better than us , and so did our baby cousins. one time when we were punished , she gave us a lecture on our behavior , saying when we get a job with our attitude , we will be fired and end up homeless with nobody to help us because of our behavior and disrespect. she targeted my sibling , one summer making my sibling feel bad for ruining my birthday and returned the gift , blaming my sibling for it. she made my sibling apologize to me and i had to console my sibling that night , who was crying uncontrollably and blaming themselves for everything. the next morning my "aunt" had placed a letter under my pillow , containing $20 inside and apologizing for my sibling's behavior - i tossed the letter and shared the money with my sibling. another time , my sibling got in trouble for something , and had to stay downstairs away from everyone. when they came up for dinner , they played with it , and my "aunt" said that if my sibling wasn't going to eat and just play with their food , then they could go back down to bed. my sibling left and went downstairs and i immediately excused myself too , so i could go be with my sibling. i comforted them and hugged them as they cried. one of the visits when we had to leave to go see our “aunt” , my sibling cried and screamed and my stepdad had to carry them out because there was nothing else that could be done - we had to go see them. only late last year did i realize that she was trying to live through my sibling and i , and i broke down crying.

my nana was my sibling’s and i’s favorite relative growing up until we were 12 and 13. growing up , she was nice , but was strict and oftentimes made rude comments about us , our home , or our parents ((including stepparent)). we just accepted these comments since there wasn't too much else that she was doing other than randomly being rude and self-centered. we didnt know the kind of person our nana was though until we were 12 and 13 , where we found out she was very manipulative and controlling. we wanted to spend a week , just one full week , with our mom , who is the person that i am doing these visits for , as she is the primary person we are here to see. my nana wasn't allowing it and expressed her lack of faith in my mom’s ability to parent and refused to listen to listen to my stepdad’s plea because he cussed at her out of frustration. my sibling and i cried and i had never yelled so loudly at anyone. i was just wanting to spend a week with my mom , but my nana refused to listen and said nobody had any control over the situation and my sibling and i have to deal with it. eventually she talked to my mom in private , and then came back crying and begging for forgiveness and allowed us to stay the rest of the summer break ((3 weeks)) with our mom , not forcing us to see anyone else. my mom told me though that from that incident , my nana believed that im autistic and my sibling is bipolar ((...because we were fighting back , yelling , and crying , demanding she let us spend time with our mom...)).

only after that did it get worse. she now had shown the manipulative and controlling aide of herself , so now every visit was more tense and she wasn't afraid to keep showing that side. she gaslit us , telling me back in 2020 that she had never done anything wrong to my sibling and i , right after an extremely minor situation got out of control because of her and she made it about herself , sending out an email blaming our mom , stepdad , aunt , uncle , and dad for raising us the way they did and letting us behave the way we do , and claiming my sibling and i were acting like visiting her was like getting bamboo shoved up our fingernails. our nana targeted my sibling as well throughout childhood , rarely trusting them and refusing to trust me when id try to stand up for them because ‘im just being their sibling and defending them.’ i was also only realizing shit she was doing our entire lives , such as making us visit everyone without complaints and keeping us away from our mom. although my mom wasn't well for a while , my nana kept us from her a lot because she had no faith in my mom’s ability to parent , and openly shamed her for her weight and body , once saying “do you want to end up looking like your mother?” to my sibling and i when we were younger and had wanted a snack an hour after not being able to finish our breakfast that morning. she had also tried forcing gender stereotypes on us and tried to make us grow up to be attractive women , wear girls clothing only , do housework while our grandpa doc worked , and be submissive to others. in 2017 or 18 when she learned of my hatred towards our "aunt" , she told me i need to stop holding unnecessary grudges and just get over it , because it does nothing but ruin relationships and it's not fair or respectful to people.

both my “aunt” and nana openly blamed our dad and family back home for our behaviors. my nana didnt like my dad in general because my mom’s claim that he had hit her while they were still married , and my nana had told me when i was 8 that my dad was the cause of the divorce and had expressed surprise about him being able to raise two children while single and in the military. my “aunt” just...hated everyone. she was rude to everyone , but always demanded respect in return. she would never talk to others but just watch them closely , but when anyone talked to her , she'd say very short responses in a harsh tone.

my sibling and i couldn't do anything. there was nobody for us to turn to. we knew that nobody would listen to us because we're "just being little kids" , and spring break of 2014 or 15 just cemented those worries. my nana claimed that she'd do something when we expressed to her the things our "aunt" had done up until that point , but she never did until my "aunt" and uncle got divorced in 2018 , kicking our "aunt" out of the family. our nana communicated with our dad about us flying to and from home to see our mom , and if we had opened up at all about our nana , if would've caused enormous problems and we likely wouldn't have been able to fly out to see our mom anymore. there was no escape from this family. our mom and stepdad knew about our "aunt" and nana , but couldn't do anything and told us to just go with the flow - which never worked , but nothing else could be done. my dad just excused our nana's behavior as part of her upbringing and being from a wealthy family , and we just have to be understanding of her - also didn't work because respect needs to be mutual not one-sided , otherwise you then have a controlling relationship. he did not seem to be aware of what she and our "aunt" were doing , as i had expressed one of the incidents of our "aunt" to my dad's former girlfriend's daughter in 2018 or 19 , and he overheard me , repeatedly saying "what the hell."

since there was nobody for us to talk to or anyone that would believe us , my sibling and i kept it to ourselves. all we could do was vent to each other , cry , complain about having to visit/stay with someone , and , something i very much recall: when i was 11 and my sibling was 10 , we both took out my old tablet and opened up a notes app , listing things we believe we were , putting down things like burdens , children , wastes of time , brats , ugly , and worthless. we saw little to no value in ourselves , and i only recently realized just the kind of impact our "aunt" and nana had on our mental healths at such young ages.

but now , everything has calmed down. i dont know why , but since 2021 it feels like everything that was wrong in my family completely stopped. my nana has chilled out a lot since the passing of her husband , though she still makes unwanted and rude comments time to time. i haven't seen or heard from our "aunt" since 2018 either. earlier that year , our mom told us that our "aunt" wanted us to keep her company after the divorce ((there's a certain term for it but i don't recall it)) , but we declined immediately because we knew she'd just use us for comfort and make us consolidate her at all times. im very glad i haven't seen her again , she had been abusive to our uncle too , whom i was very surprised to see was much nicer after he divorce. we were used to him being emotionally abusive towards us too , but after the divorce and he was much more friendly , i realized it was the influence she had on him that had made him be so hurtful in the past. im still frustrated at my nana for not taking into account the impact she had on my sibling and i and only caring about our uncle , especially because we had said something 4-5 years prior.

but despite all that...i for some reason never considered shing or disappearing or escaping. there was nothing else i could do , why did i never consider it? i only have since 2020 when my mental health started declining , but it was originally due to just general sewercidal thoughts and hating being depressed. but in the last couple of years , ive been having bad memories of how our nana and "aunt" used to treat us , and it partially became a reason why i wanted to commit. when i attempted back in 2021 , the reasons then were because of them , and being tired of being depressed , and thinking ill make everyone's lives better.

i just don't understand. when i had my first ideation at 11 , it wasn't due to family , but it was in the middle of the fucking 10+ years of abuse we faced. only at 15 and 16 did it bother me , and im finding it hard at 18 to be able to just. get past it.

i just don't understand. why did it never cross my mind? my thoughts at 11 should've been about family.

and i wish i had acted on them to get out of this hell.

[beybeys-world]

UPDATES FOR THOSE WHO READ MY CONTENT!

HULLO!! So i already posted more stuff about requests but here is another confirmation post. Im lacking motivation to finish requests at the moment. I JUST GET BRAIN FOGGLED!! I hate to disappoint and keep those who requested waiting but, I would like to write when im held with more motivation so that the writes come out better and more enjoyable! Dont get me wrong I am still writing (im always writing) but I might publish some ideas of my own! So if your waiting on a request, its gonna take a bit, especially since there are multiple!  When I have bursts of energy I write for my requests! But I will try my best to do ATLEAST 2 writes per week. But i cant thank you all enough for the love and support for my reads! Seeing all your comments really warms my heart! Another update, I ADDED JONATHON BYERS TO MY LIST!!! I HOPE TO WRITE FOR HIM IN THE FUTURE! Im hoping you guys can be patient with me! But until they are published here are some sneak peaks on what im workin on (PLEASE COMMENT WHICH ONE I SHOULD FINISH FIRST)

10 Things I hate About You

Pairing: Steve x Reader

(requested) 

A heavily inspired fic by the amazing movie 10 Things I hate About You

The bruised boy

Pairing: Billy x POC reader (she/her)

(Requested)

Y/N plays hard to get with Billy, which only ignites a flame within Billy to keep annoying you. Which you shoot him down everytime. One day it changes after a tough night with Neil, y/n notices and wants to help.

My Prize Baby

Pairing: Billy X Sarcastic Reader

(Request: Happy Billy with him takin care of Max)

After asking for a ride to the arcade Max is surprised that you convince Billy to not only drive her, but come along too! Max gains a liking to you once you “help” her win the arcade games for prizes! Billy enjoys seeing the both of you connect

Those Godamn Russians

Pairing: Steve x Girlfriend Reader

(MADE THIS IDEA MYSELF)

Y/N being the getaway driver for when they are all undeground trying to run away from the russians, she is shocked to see Dustin with a VERY intoxicated Steve. Sadly your bumped to sit in the back with him (after constant pleading) And hes just all over you.

Blabber Boy

Pairing: soft Eddie x GF reader.

(MADE THIS IDEA MYSELF)

Almost breaking a bone trying to get to your window, Eddie sneaks into your room one night while your painting your nails. When offered Eddie mindlessly agrees but does NOT know how to stay still when the polish is drying. Making too many hand motions while ranting about dnd or whatever, you decide to hold him down, which ignites a VERY VERY flustered quiet Eddie.

Why so blue Billy?

Pairing: Billy x Partner Reader

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

Y/N just overall comforting Billy when he breaks down about Neil. 

Sharp Turn

Pairing: Billy x Streetracer crush

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

After seeing y/n at a stoplight with her flashy street car, Billy is determined to get to know you. The boy is just headover heels for the racer and she is not goin down all that easy.

Joy Ride

Pairing: Billy x Streetracer gf

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

(a alternate where the reader isnt playing so hard to get) Y/N is neighbors with Billy and wants him to cheer up so she takes him for a ride driving god knows how fast in the middle of the night blasting music.

Music Magnet

Pairing: Steve x crush who works at a music store.

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

While robin is pickin up some new casette tapes, Steve realizes how long shes taking. He walks in to be swept off his feet by the amazing y/n working register. Steve does not know much abt the music you listen to but he tries his best (even if he is lying) to impress you with his “wicked” music taste.

Drumstick Doll

Pairing: Steve x firecracker drummer gf

(MADE THIS MYYSELF)

Steve comes to all of your shows and supports all your angry drummer antics! He adores the reader.

Lets Dance Pretty Boy

Pairing: Billy x Girlfriend

(requested)

Reader taking aux to bump music at full volume while driving around with Billy. (I havent decided a song yet so request any ideas you have in my request box and  i’ll pick my favorite.)

The infamous hearthrob, eddie

Pairing: Eddie x Popular Gf reader

(requested)

Y/N knows lots of people but Eddie was truly a gem. She never understood why he was so judged, afterall she thought very highly of him. Reader tries to hype up Eddie about how awesome he is.

PLEASE HELP ME PICK WHICH ONE I SHOULD PUBLISH NEXT!! COMMENT DOWN BELOW! MAKE SURE TO KEEP UP WITH MY MASTERLIST TO SEE THIS FICS BE POSTED! AND IF ANY AMAZING REQUESTS HAVE SPARKED WHILE READING THIS, HERE IS MY REQUEST BOX AND PLEASE READ MY REQUEST GUIDELINES BEFORE REQUESTING! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS!! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY OR NIGHT!!<33

-Ahzy

[irlkanamedate]

The current state of my mental health.

Gonna be real honest right off the bat. Its bad. You guys know its been bad but I mean its real bad right now.

Im a mess and it won't make any real sense i dont think so read or not, its under a cut.

[Suicidal, eating disorder, just in general bad shit I guess]

Its been months of feeling worse and worse and feeling utterly hopeless and lost. Months of constant bullshit from either my brain, my living situation, my fucking financial situation, or whatever else decides to come by and ruin what I thought was things getting better.

I find myself once again falling back into the delusional spiral because I'm having a harder and harder time regulating my emotions and mental state and if I had ever been mean or snippy or just awful to you guys, I am genuinely sorry. I dont even remember a lot of this shit I did cause my visual timeline of things have been cut so much due to just being in this black fog of self loathing.

And maybe it is my own fault for self sabotaging and dipping from so many things. Ruining friendships and all idk. Hell i can't even bring myself to actually talk to a lot of you guys cause im just so... fucking lost.

Constantly torn between multiple different sorts of realities in my brain and being too much in a constant bad mood to feel comfortable engaging or I might say something bad or be snippy so I just run away from it again and again.

I am just some kind of burden to you guys in my own mind. Some kinda burden to my own family. Just some hopeless directionless corpse that genuinely feels like I have made no real impact to anyone. And it isnt any of your faults. I know this isn't really... true. But its such an active hard struggle to fight against this pure delusional thought that I get so tired.

I get so tired trying to just... remind myself over and over. And then my brain fight back going like "if it isnt true then why are you the only one saying it? Where is your proof?" Or pulling some other bullshit move to make me believe this false reality.

Im so tired guys. But I hate being a burden. You guys say I'm not some times but I can't stop feeling like one.

Im not saying this or ever do anything to make you guys shower me in affection and love. I never want to manipulate that sort of thing. I never intend to. But sometimes I think I do it subconsciously cause im just fucking blinded by so much shit.

I cant help but think how much I might actually be a horrible person.

Especially when I want to be mad. I want to get angry. I want to lash out. But I know its often unreasonable. But fuck when I try to be reasonable and hold back and try to be mature I still get a fucking shit result.

I dont know what to do.

I feel like everything is always and has always been my fault. My fault always my fucking fault. It's my fault I can't make decisions. My fault im a people pleaser. My fault I got assaulted. My fault I am poor.

I stopped eating cause I believed it could help my mom if she didn't have to feed mr along with that fucking bastard but here I am spending money on non essentials cause it made me happy.

But nothing really makes me happy in the end does it?

Im still here. Shit living situation, poor as shit, unable to hold a job due to multiple reasons. Unable to get proper medical care. Unable to truely be the fucking man I want to be. Unable to express anything properly and truely.

Im suicidal as shit. I made promises to many people I wont do it. And I still won't. But because guilt is whats keeping me here really.

I do love all my friends so much. I appriciate so much of what you guys do for me. And im so angry and upset I can't always see that cause my brain is so hell bent on killing me.

So I just feel guilty all the time. That I still feel like fucking shit even though I get love and care. I feel guilty for asking for things. Feel guilty for taking up space, for needing things, for just being alive but also feeling guilty for wanting to die all the time now. But I can't kill myself cause I feel guilty for breaking promises and making people sad. But I feel guilty for expressing just how bad I am cause that makes people sad.

Im stuck here by guilt and I dont know how to change that so I just feel worse and worse and worse. I cant eat but I try to eat a little so I dont make people feel too bad but I hate eating.

I dont know. I just dont know anymore.

I cant see any real future for me. I just can't.

And so im just... stuck here. Just existing day by day. Silently hoping one day I just never wake up again. Cause then I didnt make that choice. Something or someone else did for me. And I wont have to feel that guilty. Or something. Or at all cause I wasn't really awake. I dont know.

Im sorry. I'm just not ok. And this isnt even all of it i dont think but im just... so tired.

I am so tired guys.

[sasarasfan]

Cant find any 6th anniversary questions so we’ll settle for redoing 5th anniversary!

Answers under the read more hehe

1. Uhmmm idk 2021 sometime,,, I don’t remember exactly. I got into it because of a post saying happy birthday ichiro and it was on my to watch list for a while before I caved in and watched the anime

2. The artstyle and the eyes of the characters I thought they were really pretty

3. I’m into MILGRAM which cough music project,,, but hypmic was the first one that put me through multimedia hell so thanks to hypmic for that

4. Doppo definitely. I loved him so much in the beginning. Now to a lesser degree, but I’m still obsessed with him. I did not really care about BB, but I liked Saburo. Now I really like Jiro!! And saburo!! I have personal beef with Ichiro. Same with MTC tbh. Samatoki was pretty so yeah. I liked FP and MTR originally, that hasn’t changed

5. Doppo or Gentarou thanks to the anime probably

6. Kuko and Ramuda. I did not really like Kuko, but then I became a changed man after watching multiple lives (I love his VA) uhmhmhmh I did not really like Ramuda in the beginning but now I think he is super silly and I cherish him dearly. On another note, I did not like DotsuHom in the beginning cause I don’t like change and DotsuHom was a division I didn’t know after I finished the anime. Well. Guess who loves DotsuHom now

7. Matenrou and Fling Posse

8. Well Sasara is my favourite character now, and Rosho is a very very close second I don’t even know what happened I was influenced by my twitter mutuals,,,, and then I still adore Doppo and Gentarou, and I have a feeling BAT are gonna start creeping up too

9. Whatever the first rhyme anima song was. Besides that, it might have been BATTLE BATTLE BATTLE

10. Dont stop the party, both Sasara solos, Positive is my life, Rinka (I LOVE Rinka), both jyushi solos, black or white, and hmm too many to name tbh

11. Ah osaka dreamin night, but I also love JACKPOT! And pretty much any DH song they’re all bangers. Uhmmmm every FP song too minus Stella (I have a vendetta against Stella). I also like TDD Legend but I don’t listen to it often

12. I JUST RECENTLY FINISHED TRACK 3 OF THE STAGE ITS OSAKA 24K GOLD OR WHATEVER ITS CALLED JTS SO SILLY I LVOE IT I also love crush your mic but I have to listen to the rest of the songs to give a better opinion on this

13. Still not sure what it means by bonus but I love Hella Awesome Banquet and Naniwa Paradise Sake. I also like HOT GAME and Murder in the House of Magic and idk if it was a bonus or just yeah but once upon a time in shibuya

14. Glory or dust? Division battle anthem? Summit of divisions? Idk they’re all good

15. White and black, JACKPOT!!, Osaka big up, hella awesome banquet, this means war, and GAY although most of these aren’t slept on (minus Jackpot grrr) I think people should listen to them more

16. Uhmmm a bunch of DH songs are my favourite so yeah, but a LOT of them are from Fling Posse, Matenrou, or BAT

17. Rapper hmmm maybe Dice or Doppo they have some good lines, and I think Dice is very,,, very good at what he does

18. Sorry I still don’t pay attention to composers Aha

19. No clue again

20. Black journey, anyways get on the floor, rivals! Jackpot, This means war, maybe Ah osaka dreamin night or Wara osaka, but I think FP is a great introduction to hypmic

21. I play ARB but I can’t get the friend code rn sorry :(

22. IM SO HAPPY FOR THE ROSASA SONG AND I LOVED THE DICEDO STUFF TOO!! I really liked the duets in the block party especially white and black so yeah all my dreams came true already though I do wish for a duet of Samatoki and Doppo.

23. I am the worlds number 1 Samado fanatic. I also love Sasaro, Gendice, Hifudo, fling poly, jirojyushi, poly MTC + doppo, and ichikuu. Any ship with doppo (minus the old or the young characters) are my favourite like I love samasasado and roshdo even though sasasama isn’t really my thing

24. No not really which is kinda surprising

25. Rosho and I would get along well. Hifumi (not host mode), and maybe Jyushi

26. Rosho is one of my highest kins actually. I won’t explain it cause I don’t want to like vent here

27. I HAVE FANARTIST KEYCHAINS!!!!! I HAVE SAMATOKI, ICHIRO, AND DICE!!! I also have ramuda keychain and cat Matenrou keychain too. I have a card of BAT. I have nothing from DH (im going to explode)

28. Mics with Hypmic branding please its not even that weird they just haven’t done it yet

29. Uhmmm I don’t really know with

30. Samado samado samado samado… and also rosasa of course!

31. RIO RIO HES SO CUTE RIO PLEASE MORE RIO LOVE and also I found that Rosho doesn’t get a lot of love either :(( which is really sad cause I love Rosho so much :((((

32. Sasara is just…. He’s so silly, but he’s also serious in a way that I just can’t describe. There’s not much to him or what we know about him actually, but I think he’s an interesting character. And I love Rosho cause he’s so me core (I kin him)

33. Sasara eats floor cookies (real) uhmmm and Doppo occasionally goes to Yokohama to spend time with Samatoki and they go on dates together (jm gojng to explode)

34. I like nemu she is so cute hehe

35. Dotsuitare Hompo because it has Sasara and Rosho in it. Their songs are so so so so so good too!! Their stageplay actors are all so silly :3

36. I don’t really have any for DH :(

37. Someone younger again!! Like I know it wont happen, but someone around Saburos age maybe? And someone who fits between the ages of 35 - 46 cause that’s a really large gap between Jakurai and Hitoya and Rei.

38. YEASSSS!! I FOLLOW A LOT OF THEM ON TWITTER DOT COM!!! And MTC VAs on Instagram

39. Haven’t really watched or heard sorry </3

40. My 12k rosasa fic that I’ve been working on since last year

41. I like the manga! But I think the stageplay is super good too

42. Rosasa break up and get together and fight in manga form, VD form, stageplay form, and anime form

43. Nope no theories

44. Please expand more on Sasara I am begging

45. I infodump about hypmic all the time to my friends I think they’re sick of me

46. DH DH DH DH DH DH DOTSUHOM FOR THE WIN RRRAHHHHH

47. Ichiro says “this truly was our Hypnosis Mic” the screen fades to black. THE END appears in white letters. It is the end of hypmic.

48. It’s the first community I was ever serious about and stuck with for over a year. I’ve met some great people through it and I’m truly happy that I got into it. It also acted like a gateway towards some of my other interests so yeah. It means a lot to me

49. SASARA NURUDE AND ALSO WE HAVE SO MUCH MEDIA LIKE THERES ALWAYS MORE STUFF TO CONSUME IFS KIDN OF INSANE

50. Hiiii future me!! I’ll probably see this in a year or so from now but hey!! I hope you’re doing well! I just got back into hypmic and yeah I’m reliving my greatest moments here. Take care of yourself hehe :3 ps I am the number 1 samado fan and the 10k word sasaro fic is still not finished sighs

Also also I love Rosho okay bye love you I hope you still love hypmic by the time you’re reading this again!!

[antiloreolympus]

6 Anti LO Asks

1. im kinda confused, bc for some reason in LO the human race must be younger than the gods, right? but then how was persephone in college (god, remember when she was in college?) for biology? does that mean humans as a species are only a few centuries old? like girl you cant have this be modern and still be following bible creationist ideology when even actual christians dont believe that anymore. the world building and sense of logic and history makes no sense in this.

2. Hades' nose always makes me think about that scene from Family Guy where Cleveland cuts a hole through a safe with Reese Witherspoon's chin.

3. the over-rendered shiny lips with the too big, flat eyeballs with no irises and weirdly shaded, neon skin tones with no difference in hair most of the time is such a strange design choice. its like it wants to realistic but also cartoony at once, so you get this weird uncanny valley middle ground and it just doesnt look good. the early style was also rough (and tbh kinda ugly now that i look back at it) but it at least had nice colors and interesting effects to distract from it, but now ...

4. Persephone and Apollo's story could've honestly been really well written. The two literally mirror each other like how most great protagonists and antagonists do -

They both have controlling, single mothers (I would prefer if we would stop villainizing poor Demeter, but what can we do).

They both have had to work hard to reach ridiculous standards, giving them both many talents.

They are both viewed as perfect and innocent, even though they have a dark side.

But because Rachel has pretty much villainized Apollo to ridiculous levels, and refuses to give us a better idea of where he's coming from, all of these interesting parallels are hard to see and get thrown out the window.

And the r*** plotline? Totally unnecessary. Just have Apollo want to use her to become King and end it there. Rachel has even shown us that there might be some justification in Apollo wanting to take over from Zeus - all of this could've helped make Apollo a three-dimensional villain. But nope. 

5. I don't want to start a war here, but I just want to say that as one of the Greek anons that said that Hades was the only one that really hurt Persephone in the myth - when people say that Hades hurt her (and raped her in some interpretations)  it's to bring up the point that Hades was made in LO to be better than his myth counterpart, but at the expense of Demeter's character - ruining her relationship with Persephone when it was a very positive one in the myths. It's not to say that Hades was an evil-doer with no redeeming qualities. It's just stating a criticism towards how Demeter is portrayed. At least, that was my interpretation and how I framed it.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

6. (Fast pass mentions) tbh after reading the latest fast pass, it's just become 100% clear that this whole trial bullshit is just Rachel's "Gotcha!!!" To all the antis because it's just "Oh look Thanatos also got it through nepotism" (which he didn't bc child labor isn't nepotism but okay Rachel) and then in the latest fast pass its like "oh she wants to take over because she wants to make heaven for the shades" because she apparently does feel remorse and feel bad for them despite bring so nonchalant about this situation multiple times.

Also apparently Hades is okay with wanting to change how things are done in the Underworld now because God Forbid he and Persephone have a problem in their relationship that lasts more then a single chapter or we get any actual drama during a murder trial.

It used to be kinda fun to critique lore olympus but this whole trial part is just so poorly done and it's clear Rachel has no idea how a court system works anywhere and it's become such a drag, especially with this new "Savior" plot coming in. I know this final part of commentary isn't anything no one else has said yet, but I have no idea what else to say about it, honestly. 

[philipkindreddickhead]

I often seen critiques of make up from an existential/philosophical perspective, but I rarely see criticism of cosmetics from a stand point of the very physical bodily harm it does. I think this is because the number of dangerous ingredients is so massive, and overlapping its an absolutely daunting task. So I've compiled the information I've found and bear with me its a lot. (This is from an American perspective. Sorry, thats what I know. However I would love it if people from other countries had things to add.)

First I want to get the "simple" stuff out of the way. I think almost everyone has heard about bacteria and fungi in makeup and that makeup causes acne from clogging pores. Makeup has a pretty strict shelf life, yet consumers are entirely supposed to self-police as Ive never seen a single expiration date on any cosmetic packaging. (I guess consumers are meant to pull this knowledge out of the ether or something. I only found out about it in a tumblr PSA. I did read that expirys are on products in Europe.) Beauty blenders are the worst offender because theyre almost always moist. When I was taught makeup I was told to wet my sponge so it would soak up less product. If you apply makeup daily your sponge is likely constantly damp. USA Today had an article which said that 96% of sponges had fungi and over 60% had E. Coli in them. But I think what people talk about less is the complication of problems from using other products in conjunction with dirty beauty blenders. USA Today warns its especially dangerous to use beauty blenders if you have damage to your skin like acne, cuts, or dry skin. However the most popular beauty products for washing your face contain walnut pieces for literally scrubbing your skin and creating microabrasions. If youre a frequent makeup user you probably know about the cyclical nature of applying foundation, breaking out, and then applying more foundation to cover the breakout. You may even be using scrubbing cleansers more frequently to combat the acne creating more tears. This can lead to "blood poisoning" and, though neither USA today or Forbes mentions this, blood poisoning (not a medical term btw. Its sepsis.) according to numerous medical sites has the potential to be extremely lethal. The symptoms are so similar to a regular flu its nearly impossible to self-diagnose.

The very first thing I was told when a friend handed me a jar of finishing powder- popular with many beauty gurus for the "baking" technique and considered a must have- was a joke about "clown lung." This was a reference to the main ingredient talc. Talc causes lung problems including cancer and respiratory illness. If anyone remembers the large Johnson and Johnson lawsuit from 2019 it was because theyd been putting talc into baby powder. Talc is dangerous because it's impossible to mine and seperate from ASBESTOS. Some high-end finishing powders will try to sell you on safe talc-free formulas but all the products I looked into contained mica instead which causes pneumoconiosis, colloquially known as "black lung disease." Like fucking coal miners get. Its not just present in finishing powder either. In my research it turned out that talc/asbestos are also present in many eyeshadows and other powder products. [Googleable, evidenced in J&J lawsuit]

Another industry to examine is nail salons. Toluene, Formaldehyde, Dibutyl Phthalate, and Methacrylate compounds are all dangerous ingredients and present in various salon products. These ingredients cause a range of problems from dizziness, drowsiness, birth defects, slow fetal growth, future intellectual disabilities in the fetus, eye skin and throat irritation, coughing, allergic reactions, asthma-like attacks, short-term memory loss, nausea, dermatitis, cancer, and misscarriage. Some nail products advertise that they are 3-free meaning that toluene, formaldehyde, and DP should be absent but often the labels are found to be completely inaccurate. It should be noted that the risk is mainly to salon workers and not patrons but ask yourself if it is right to place other people at serious risk for your aesthetic. OSHA does make an attempt to mitigate these risks however not once in my years of makeup queen did I see a salon following these directives which include constant air monitoring, half mask respirators with chemical cartridges, gloves, long sleeves, and safety glasses. (And Im not even going to touch issues of human trafficking/slave labour out of nail salons one case of which occured 5 days ago two hours away from me) It should also be noted that formaldehyde can also be found in hair relaxers and hair dyes. [Found articles in Scientific American and NYT]

I also found on the FDAs website that many cosmetics include heavy metals like arsenic, mercury, and lead. (Usually accompainied by a picture of lipstick so I assume that is the product most likely to contain it, however campaign for safe cosmetics lists foundation as containing heavy metals, and The Guardian has an article about skin lighteners from Asia and Africa containing mercury.) The website stated that the amount of these heavy metals in cosmetics is "safe" if used as intended. (and I'm going to come back to the concept of "intended use" later because thats a can of worms too) However, when searching for info on heavy metal safety I found this quote in regards to metals in food:

"Certain metals, such as arsenic, lead and mercury, have no established health benefit, and have been shown to lead to illness, impairment, and in high doses, death. Understanding the risk that harmful metals pose in our food supply is complicated by the fact that no single food source accounts for most people’s exposure to metals in foods. People’s exposure comes from many different foods containing these metals. Combining all of the foods we eat, even low levels of harmful metals from individual food sources, can sometimes add up to a level of concern"

So like, which is it? Is it a "safe amount" or is no amount of metal safe? I understand that in the case of certain foods like fish some amount of mercury poisoning is always expected but fish is also something you feed yourself and nourish your body with while cosmetics are completely unecessary to your survival. The mercury problem in fish is also mitigated by health warnings when mercury levels are particularly high but cosmetics have no such warning. Another warning on the site indicated that children should ingest NO amount of lead AT ALL because it is particularly harmful for kids yet theres no effort to stop children from using lead-containing cosmetics. I worked next to a Five Below where I was shocked to find they sold Jeffree Star and Anastasia eyeshadow dupes for five dollars which amounts to fucking pocket change for a lot of kids and kids do buy that stuff. I also think its ironic the FDA would have anything to say regarding cosmetics because in the very same article about heavy metals in cosmetics the FDA says that they DO NOT REGULATE cosmetics beyond the color additives.

Mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and brow tint often contain carbon black. This is a color additive that is an incomplete combustion of carbon-based products. It can cause lung disease, cancer, and organ system toxicity, and eye, nose, throat irritation. The effects are mainly studied in rats and those at biggest risk are industrial workers but why do other workers have to endure lung problems for something so unecessary? [Easily googleable, NIH, CDC, WHO Europe]

This next bit I only want to mention briefly because I didnt find any particularly reputable sources about it, but its a claim that cropped up repeatedly and I think its an interesting one. Parabens, estrogen, phthalates (again), and pesticides in cosmetics are apparently linked to endocrine disorders and hormone dysregulation. Im not entirely sure what is meant by this accusation. Endocrine disorders include female diseases like PCOS and possibly endometriosis. None of these diseases is very well studied and the female endocrine system itself is not well studied either. Im not saying "cosmetics cause PCOS" because we dont know if PCOS or these other endocrine/hormonal disorders are genetic or environmental or both (it appears that PCOS is largely genetic and Endometriosis is likely autoimmune related) AND we dont appear to know for sure that cosmetic ingredients cause endocrine disorder. But I include anyway for a number of reasons:

If you happen to struggle with hormonal problems you may want to know cosmetics is a potential environment factor.

These conditions are incredibly painful. It will be a battle getting your doctor to even acknowledge that pain for diagnosis. PCOS is linked to diabetes, and heart disease. [Thanks @mother-of-pearl ] There is no cure and the treatments are often throwing hormonal birth control at it and hoping for the best.

I dont anticipate the link between cosmetics and endocrine disorders being studied any time soon or any endocrine disorders studied at all because the medical/scientific field is sexist. I dont want women to suffer in the mean time.

Now again, take this with a grain of salt because I couldnt find scientific or news sources for it. Dont fucking come for me. Im not gonna respond to you. [Most reputable source was a paper from the library of medicine at the national institutes of health but it was behind a paywall and I dont have 39 dollars to be right on tumblrdotcom]

Avoiding these ingredients is not as simple as scanning the label for them. As many beautubers and the community are no doubt aware considering multiple scandals over veganism. Products advertised as vegan or cruelty free but contain non-vegan carmine or are sold in China which legally requires the products to be animal tested. Cosmetic companies will hide ingredients claiming they are "trade secrets" or they will be placed under "fragrance." Many ingredients will be known by six or seven different names and asking consumers to be aware of seven different names for multiple ingredients requires consumers to be aware of innumerable different, often complicated ingredient names. I shouldnt have to point out that's a ridiculous burden to place on women. The EU banned 1,300 hazardous ingredients that the US did not. Cosmetic companies rely on women being unwilling/unable to bring in a list of 1,300 ingredients- with multiple names- every time they pop in to the drug store, sephora, or wherever. Buying "natural" products will not help you either. Theres no established criteria for natural/organic in costmetics, the FDA doesnt test these products, and "natural"=/= safe anyway. Plenty of plants and minerals are poisonous. One good example is traditional kohl products which advertise their natural status but also naturally contain lead and reiterating that natural powders contain mica. US courts are rarely on the side of consumers either. I found an interesting lawsuit against St. Ives for their apricot scrub taken to court for their "dermatologist tested" label despite it causing breakouts and cuts to the skin. The courts ruled that this label was fine because it only indicated that the product was TESTED not APPROVED by dermatologists. However I think any rational consumer would look at this label and assume the tests concluded it was safe for use or else why put the label on there?

[Googlable XMONDO drama, googlable laws wrt china and eu, already stated about FDA, FDA website about Kohl. Googled St. Ives lawsuit.]

I want to return to the idea of "intended use." This is sort of a fucky concept a lot of companies have ways of getting around. My "last straw" with makeup had to do with a run-in I had with Anastasia over their "Riviera" eyeshadow palette. In this pallette they had two colors that were the real feature of the palette, an electric neon purple and a radioactive pink I mean every photo, every promotion has these two colors swirled together around the eye. Because again, its an eyeshadow palette. When I buy the eyeshadow palette of course there's a little insert warning in the package that says these two shades are not intended on the eye area. In an eyeshadow palette. Contacting their customer service they told me that these two shades were meant to be used as a blush. neon purple blush. Not only that, but their website and instagram featured NO models wearing the shades as blush while EVERY model one or more of the shades as eyeshadow. When asked about this discrepancy ABH stopped responding. What I find egregious about this is the amount of people who dont know, and then more staggeringly; dont care. The sephora clerks didnt know, the in store abh representative didnt know, their customers didnt know, and when I told them they would respond with "oh, [brand] did the same thing with their [shade]." Sure enough, when I demanded that store clerks open the packaging to look for warnings nearly every product had an "eyeshadow" that was not intended for use on the eyes. Relegating dark, red-toned teal to "contour" and neon grean to "highlighter" US-based cosmetic junkies will say that these pigments have been approved for use by the EU however I found absolutely NO evidence of that. I googled it a thousand ways but all I ever found were blog posts, reddit comments, and one quote from an apparently nonEuropean layman in an Insider article. I even changed my location to France on ABH's website and the Norvina palette still contains the same warnings (not to harp on ABH in particular. I just know which shades in particular are the problem there). The Insider article noted that brands who were selling pressed pigments declined to comment. If the pressed pigments were EU friendly, I would think companies would be clamouring to say so. It also still makes their market as eyeshadow colors illegal in the US. (If any Europeans would like to chime in I'd love that.) Another problem I find with cosmetics companies and their reps is the claim that the worst thing that could happen is eye irritation for those with sensitive eyes and staining. How could they possibly know? The FDA doesnt test, or approve these cosmetics in the eye area, so ostensibly no one should be using it that way.

The next one is a bit of a "duh" but I'm going to talk about it anyway. Counterfeit cosmetics are a booming market full of untold dangers. Untold primarily because these products could contain literally anything. Ive read about glue, arsenic, lead, feces, staph, and horse urine to name a few. The labels and ingredient list on these products are fake. Legitimate brands often unintentionally play into the counterfeit market. They create artificial scarcity by making less of the product than is actually needed for consumer demand to create an even higher demand. If consumers miss out often their only chance at getting the product is to turn to counterfeits. I found examples of women who had their lips superglued, lips "turned to goo" and burned to blistering, throat closures, women with stys, contact dermatitis, eye infections. I think we as a society turn a blind eye to this problem because we think "hey, if youre buying counterfeits for a discount and you get hurt you deserve it." We imagine idiots buying products for 4 dollars from ebay or perusing Canal street for FEИTY beauty. But these counterfeits can be really convincing. I myself received a gift of a huda palette that I only recognized something was weird about it because I'd swatched it at sephora about five times earlier that month. The person who bought it for me actually paid MORE than the usual cost for the palette because it was advertised as a newer, better edition. The websites can be disturbingly similar. For instance Kylie Jenner's legitimate website is KylieCosmetics.com but you can find fakes at kyliecosmeticsshop.co.uk. These fakes can buy ad space and be one of the first sites that populate when you google the products instead of typing the legitimate site into the address bar. Counterfeits can also be bought and sold through third parties on websites like ebay, wish, and amazon. (My gift actually came from Amazon.)

[Netflix doc "Broken" ep "Makeup Mayhem" Corroborated by personal experience and google]

[filipino-lesbian-pierre-curie]

They Should Be Dead: A Collection of Works by The Living

Early on during the quarantine, I suddenly had more time to indulge in media. After a few months, I’ve notice a pattern, so here it is: a list of shows and stories that all have living dead people. 

TV Shows

Ghosts (BBC) -  The series follows a collection of ghosts from different historical periods haunting a country house while sharing the house with its new living occupants. This is a great show with well written plots, characters, and stories. I find it appeals especially to the queer and neurodivergent community.

What We Do In The Shadows - The series follows 4 vampires in a mockumentary format. If you like those shows where fiction meets real historical events, or just plain vampire humor, this is for you.

Pushing Daisies - The series follows a pie-maker with the ability to bring dead things back to life with his touch, an ability that comes with stipulations. Together with his formerly deceased childhood crush Chuck, private investigator Emerson Cod and co-worker Olive Snook, Ned uses his abilities to solve murder cases. Perfectly pleasing visuals, an interesting premise, and REALLY relatable for all of under quarantine. Lots of yearning.

Dead Like Me - George dies early in the pilot episode and becomes one of the "undead", a "grim reaper".  The show explores the experiences of a small team of such reapers, as well as the changes in George and her family as they deal with George's death. I’m not sure if the show employs edgy humor but I like it. It is slightly nihilistic in tone but the way it connects the experiences of life with the reality of death is a really interesting take. It’s perfect for teens and young adults. Also, Mandy Patinkin. 

The Good Place - Eleanor Shellstrop, a woman welcomed after her death to "the Good Place", a highly selective Heaven-like utopia designed and run by afterlife "architect" Michael as a reward for her righteous life. This series has everything: dreamlike scenes, nightmarelike scenes, philosophy, EAT THE RICH, genderless she/her icon Janet, good characters, accurate representations, and an all-around touching story.

Santa Clarita Diet - The series centers on husband and wife real estate team Joel and Sheila Hammond whose normal, boring lives change dramatically when Sheila shows symptoms of having become a zombie. The bewildered family seek a cure for her condition while dealing with its consequences. Wild family goes on the time of their lives because their mom has become a zombie. It’s great. They kill n*zis and a cop and eat them.

Star Trek - too many Star Trek episodes have the “oh no they died! anyway...” premise and aside from the idealistic paradise Gene Roddenberry pictured, death and resurrection are large themes in Star Trek.

Books/Graphic Novels/Short Stories

The Carpet Merchant of Konstantiniyya (by @reimenaashelyee​) - A two-volume Eisner-nominated graphic novel set in 17th century Istanbul and 18th century England, about a carpet merchant's reconcilitation with faith, love and home in the aftermath of his death by a vampire. It’s a great story. I’ll be telling this to everyone who will listen: the graphic novel is engaging and insightful, life cannot get better than this graphic novel. (Also: ACE REP!) Also by the author is The World in Deeper Inspection which explores the setting and premise of other characters.

The Shadow of The Wind (by Carlos Ruiz Zafón) -  Daniel, an antiquarian book dealer's son who mourns the loss of his mother, finds solace in a mysterious book entitled The Shadow of the Wind, by one Julian Carax. But when he sets out to find the author's other works, he makes a shocking discovery: someone has been systematically destroying every copy of every book Carax has written. Magical realism abounds, it’s sinister, it’s beautiful, it’s a perfect book about dancing the line between death and life.

The Graveyard Book (by Neil Gaiman) -  Nobody Owens, known to his friends as Bod, is a perfectly normal boy. Well, he would be perfectly normal if he didn't live in a graveyard, being raised and educated by ghosts, with a solitary guardian who belongs to neither the world of the living nor the world of the dead. Great book about growing up and leaving childhood. 

The Book Thief (by Markus Zusak) -  It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will be busier still. Featuring Death themself as the omniscient narrator, the story intertwines with books and stories of life and of survival. It’s a sobering book but important to read.

May Day Eve (by Nick Joaquin) - Magical realism, time travel vibes. But most importantly, myth, enchantment, the Devil, passion, everlasting love. There’s a reason why this is required reading for Philippine colleges. I cry every time I read it. 

Movies

Night at The Museum Trilogy - Night guard in charge of museum. Exhibits come back to life, wacky shenanigans follow. The only downside to this is that they visited the British Museum and not one of the exhibits screamed “I DONT BELONG HERE! TAKE ME BACK!”

The Book Thief - I would say it’s a faithful enough adaptation of the book.

Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan and The Search for Spock

The Lovely Bones - astounding <3 ik she’s dead but letting her breach the curtain between life and death? Good shit.

What We Do In The Shadows - The mockumentary that started it all. Once again Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement are geniuses. And correct: all vampires know is be bisexual eat hot virgin and fly.

Musicals/Plays

Hadestown- Retelling of Orpheus and Eurydice. Folk type of music, features great talents and songs by Anaïs Mitchell. The story is good, it touches on capitalism, progress, labor, and love.

Indecent- Play exploring the play "God Of Vengeance" which was cited for indecency on Broadway for its themes and indecent acts committed by the actors. It begins as a play brought by several actors who rise from the ashes of the Holocaust and gradually extends to the multiple characters they become. I find this important for anyone interested in queer Jewish history.

I really like media focusing on death and life so recommend some and take some from the list!

ADDITIONAL NOTE: I have a really bad attention span but these stuff somehow get my brain. They're good.

[gayfrenchtoast]

Okay fine we're doing this. I havent read the books and I'm probably not going to I've only seen the movies so I'm sorry if anything I say is contradictory or has already been stated.

So! Descendants 3 was kinda shit and I dont like it but especially because of the ending because everybody was like "oh yeah island is open and we're all happy with no worries or implications about free villains or people being spiteful about being imprisoned for years!" In fact if anything they joked about those things.

The island is basically its own culture, I can't say how long it's been around, long enough for some almost adult kids to be about and to develop a kind of community.

The Isle is a place of poverty, people are dirty and on the street, eveyone steals from each other and most people don't put much effort into appearance upkeep (personal or of the sourounding area) not because of laziness or being "evil" but because they clearly don't have time or luxury to do such things or possibly even the clean water. Does the Isle have clean water?? How to they get electricity??? Someone tell me!

Another thing that I've noticed is easy to see but is not much explicitly said is the unique style of those on the Isle. As previously stated they don't have much but those who have the most "power" and such on the Isle are the best example of this As they have the most colourful outfits. However these outfits are often made out of patches and ripped things put together, even salvaged things like nets and chains as we can see on thing like Uma and Harry's outfits in D3 they make the best of what they've got and they do fantastic because their outfits are intricate and detailed and just tell you everything you need to know about them. Which is why it's a damn s h a m e when the original VK's ajust their style to be more like Auradon's. That's not an improvement! Be proud of where you came from!! It's like they forgot what it was like being on the Isle in D3!

Moving on, here's something that was touched on in D2 but not enough. Equality. On the Isle there is basically equal opportunity as in saying everything is shit and nome cares what gender and presumably what sexuality you are as long as you can work. Sexism is shown to be almost casual in aurodon from the looks of it, Chad makes sexist comments and litterally none else says anything or seems to see anything wrong with it except Jay who caves to pressure from peers and expectations. He does redeem himself because he's from the isle and he knows you shouldn't give a shit about anyone's gender or anything. If they can do something and ask to be included you give them that opportunity. The sexism is also implied in the way that the rule book has men written specifically in the first place and that it has taken until then for anyone but boys to be allowed on any kind of sports team. We never see it! It seems to be the hetronormative veiw where the boys do sport and girls do cheerleeding and other genders? What other genders? Never heard of that? BAD AURADON!! I bet there's so many trans folk on the island just living their lives, thinking Aurodon is the better place and not knowing that it's a cis het filled nightmare.

Okay no I'm headcannoning now, if their are now a bunch of Isle kids at auradon prep they find it fucking aweful the way all these preppy royals are treating them and make the first LGBT club in Auradon. There is lots of pushback and they get bullied a fuck ton for making themselves the most prominent queer folk in the school until a fight breaks out and the club demand that they should be treated better, taking all the evidence to fairy godmother who is very hesitant because COME ON she's never been that great she is biased to Auradon kids and if putting away those in the Isle is brought up she is all on it, she is jelly spined about doing anything against the royal kids. So the kids are like "Fine, if you won't help us we'll take this to the King himself!" Well mainly the queer mom's of the group (you know the ones I'm talking about) who lead the others and protect the anxious queers as they storm to Ben at his fucking locker and demand an audience because they are being harassed and bullied and none is doing anything. Ben had no idea there was even a LGBT club (too busy ig) and is gassed there is one for a moment before he's like "wait people are harassing you?" So Bisexual King Ben gets his lovely Bi wife and they start coming to club meetings and investing in the pins and stuff the club makes. Most club members are pleased but the queer mom's are apprehensive that this will help until some assholes come to the club to do their usual bullying only to find King and Queen Beast themselves siting there with rainbow bracelets and bi pins and all trying to have a nice old time eating their fucking cupcakes what the fuck are yall doing? The bullying dies down quick once they realise it ain't gonna fly, the other OG VK's that hear about this become members and very protective over their queer children. Did I mention Dizzy and Ceila are a part of the club? They're girlfriend's. Celia is one of the queer moms. Harry becomes one of the biggest protectors over the group as the pan dad. He's been going around snogging everyone and anyone wholl snog him everyone already knew he was queer they just didn't have the balls to try and bully him over it as much as they bullied the lil club members. But now Harry can often be seen in jackets and shit with pan and general queer patches and pins and running around with his gay children yelling "MOVE WE'RE GAY!!" He totally calls them his queer crew. Anyway as a result lots of queer royals start coming out of the woodwork, obvs Lonnie is one of them, and the club eventually serves to bring members of Auradon and the Isle close together.

Where was I? Yada yada auradon expects girls to be pretty princesses and boys to be brave knights or dashing princes. It's shit and should stop being portrayed as good. Moving on!

Food! One of the things we'll established in all movies is that the food of the Isle is shit compared to food of Auradon. The Isle has no fresh fruit which likely means its almost impossible for things to grow there which is fair because again there doesn't seem to be much fresh water and there are always clouds overhead so no sun. Maybe there is some people trying really hard to grow stuff but the general attitude of the Isle seems to be "there is no time for that" and fruits are forgotten so much that the VK's litterally don't knownwhat they are when they come across them. That and anything containing sugar. Actually it's mention by Dizzy and Celia that they enjoy the fact that the cake dosent have dirt or flies so basically food there is terrible. We don't see much food on the Isle but what we do see seems to be beans, eggs, chips and shellfish. Basically protine and carbs that can be easily stored and produced. To be fair beans are kidna good for you but they're likely a sign that if they get any imports from the mainland it is canned stuff. Prison food. There's probably some chef villain that is trying their best to make good food out of the shit but honestly the Isle dwellers should be angry that they've been deprived of good food for so long not happy they're finally been given decency.

Moving on, music! Auradon dosent have nearly as many musical numbers it seems, the Isle songs have a distinct style, to them, the villains that basically "founded" the place were masters of the dramatic songs (with backup or solo) so banging music is basically ingrained in the music's culture, even for battle as we see with the fight between Mal and Uma in D3. Meanwhile Auradon seems to have mainly romance and "I want" songs. Even Audrey's villain song is basically an I want song.

Okay let's talk about the Villains. We've established that the VK's are not inherently bad. However not all of them can be totally good and there are legit OG Villains just kinda chillin on the Isle. They've obviously lost quite a bit of their power, motivation and sanity (isolation will do that to ya as they lost everything and the VKs know no different) but deadass? They were bad guys. You can try to rehabilitate them sure but you've basically just let them free roam, they could make a runner and you wouldn't get the chance. They were also shitty patents which is brushed over/joked about in the interaction between Carlos and...man I feel bad I forgot her name deadass their relationship seemed to come out of nowhere in the second film she didn't seem interested in them at all and friendzoned them multiple times I'm pretty sure Disney did that becaue queer kids were relating to Carlos and headcanoning them as queer (which they deffinatly are) but deadass their mom is an attempted animal murderer and has hurt her child as we can see from how they're afraid of her and her rhetoric and yet it's "haha I'm afraid to meet your ma!" "Me too cus im a dog! Lol!" Fuuuuck offfffff

I think I'm running out of thoughts so here's a last one for now; with the magical barrier down a bunch of magical Villains kids should be coming out for the woodwork. We know Mal has magic basically stored in her so it's is possible, she technically doesn't need the spellbook to do magic it is just inherent to her. So with the diverse range of people from the isle there are deffinatly magic folk in there. Actually if we're following Disney movie law I saw something mentioning Jay being half Genie and yeah! He should be half Genie! Jafar got turned into a Genie he's probably only human because of the barrier! Oh also Ben should be able to go beast on command as long as he had a better beast form than he did in the movies. And give him back the beard and fangs like fuck you he looked so much better

Okay I'm done for now

[wp-blaze]

What are the key features of great songs?

I’m in the midst of learning ‘Clair de Lune’ at the moment, and I’ve already gone past the ‘I love this music’ part. I don’t know about you, but when […]

[junkiee]

its literally not a disorder its the choices u make. and ppl who deal w addiction dont flaunt it off like its soemthing to be proud of like u do. u just show it off and glamourize it. ur an awful person

I’m not going to bother reading all of your long messages that you keep sending but you do not know my life, you know nothing about me and i shouldn’t have to explain myself to some anonymous person who has nothing better to do but follow me just to send me all the these messages. I will say it’s weird how you can say something like that and be so angry about me “glamorizing” addiction when i literally constantly post about how fucking awful my life is because of my drug use. There’s a HUGE difference between the fact that I’m open about my drug use and glamorizing it. Do you see my saying how awesome my life is being addicted to fentanyl? How cool it is when i overdose or how fun it is to not be able to go more than a few hours without it or I’ll be too sick to function? How super great it is when the people closest to me die? How good i feel when i can’t see my family or have to miss out on the world constantly because of the extreme effects of my depression and maybe I’m also too physically sick to go out? I especially love Not leaving my room/bed being alone here for literal months at a time because of how bad ive gotten mentally. I have mentioned a whole lot about how terrified i am and how i want nothing more than to live differently. It’s literally ruining my life i am getting physically sick constantly to the point of not being able to move or do anything except cry and scream and vomit on myself. Things are NOT good and i literally constantly fucking say this……holy shit i am the epitome of how life ruining addiction can be. SUD is a disorder that i am diagnosed with but I’m not about to argue about fucking medical terms with you because i know how much people like you love to tell people addiction isn’t a real life mental problem and I’m just literally not doing that whole thing. Once again you do not know me so you don’t know what I’ve worked for or been through. I’ve gotten sober many times, I’ve been to detox many times, I’ve gone to rehab multiple times, I’ve seen many therapists and gone through multiple psychiatrists, both of which I’m currently seeing and both DO actually know me. This entire time i HAVE been working towards sobriety and getting well. Every day is a struggle not just because of my addiction but other things going on in my life that i might not talk about here and my other mental illnesses. I don’t only struggle with addiction and was diagnosed with other disorders before i became an addict. Most of these things that go on in my life have to do with my other disorders. I am not well and I’m open about it. I am an addict and I’m open about it. I think that’s what makes people so angry. That I’m not too embarrassed to share that. Im sorry you think people should be ashamed of suffering from an addiction and mental illness and i really hope you can someday try and have compassion for those who struggle with something rather than hate them because you don’t understand it.

[forsakenoathkeeper]

I Am Alive (chapter 5/?)

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Synopsis: You were a mechanical engineer, now a nurse for androids, who moved back to Detroit after the revolution to offer aid. After reconciling with an old friend, you became rather acquainted with his android partner.

Please support me on AO3 & thanks for reading ♥

Connor wasn't oblivious to what he was doing.

'Rogue' was one word that came to mind; but, that was a bit extreme all things considered. He wasn't acting against the police and he didn't intend to commit any crimes, especially heinous ones.

He was hunting the android alone, without clearance, without jurisdiction.

-not like this was the first time.

He had intel that the human detectives didn't have. A good lot of them didn't respect him, some more obvious than others, and often disregarded his input on things. Of course, they were never hesitant to let him take the lead when dealing with dangerous individuals or gunfire.

Most of the time, it didn’t bother him.

Fowler saw him as a competent detective and needed the manpower, now more than ever. Hank trusted him with his life and stood up for him. That was all the recognition that Connor needed.

Having to work alone wasn’t all that terrible. He was faster, stronger, more capable of discretion... usually. He didn't have to worry about putting someone in danger or being slowed down. It also meant that he could-

-bend the rules in ways that only androids were capable of.

The other detectives were hung up on the possibility that Evelin Wheeler was murdered by someone she had crossed in her days as a lawyer. Connor had found seven cases that ended with death threats. Three of those cases, the plaintiffs or victims, were still alive and living in or near Detroit.

While other detectives were investigating those potential leads, Connor took to the streets to see if he could locate Robert. Maybe it was his programming talking; but, Connor was suspicious of the android.

Clouds were heavy and dark in the sky, the smell of approaching rain thick in the air. Connor was waiting outside of Haven in a nearby alleyway, perched up against a crate where he could duck back into hiding or lean out and see into the street.

He was standing near an abandoned warehouse that seemed to have suffered structural damage at one point, rubble having collapsed into the plot nearby. The towering structure was an eyesore and provided good cover for the detective. It was also across the street from Haven.

Connor fumbled with his coat pocket, fishing out a coin. He rolled it between his fingers as he waited.

You had been texting him, a very welcomed distraction from the monotony. Though, if Connor was being honest, waiting never bothered him. He couldn’t quite tell if it was because his android, a part of his programming, or just the way he was.

"u know u dont have to" was your latest message, popping up in the top right corner of his HUD. You had trouble getting your car started this morning and had taken a taxi to work. When Connor found out, he asked if he could give you a ride home.

"If I'm being honest, it is not just for your sake. I want to see you" he texted back.

It had been a little over week since he last saw you. Work had been hectic for you both, between countless damaged androids and Connor knee deep in multiple cases, one in particular that was rubbing him the wrong way. Even if he only got to sit in a car with you for thirty minutes, that would be good enough.

"i miss u too" your reply came in. Connor smiled at that and briefly pondered how to reply.

When people were 'an item', what did they do? Attending a restaurant together seemed to be the most common answer that came up in his searches; however, considering Connor did not require sustenance, and lacked the components to dispose of them, he couldn't eat.

Surprisingly, ‘drinking’ came up a lot, too. There was no way he was taking you to a sleazy bar. There were always clubs. Did you like that sort of thing? He didn’t want to make assumptions about your lifestyle. There was the added concern that Connor didn’t know if he could dance. He had never tried it before.

'Walks in the park' also came up in his searches; while Connor was not easily perturbed by the weather, you likely would find it far too cold outside. The local movie theatres were closed down temporarily due to the uprising, leaving that option out, as well.

He could invite you over to his apartment; but, what if you took that as an unwanted suggestion? He missed you in that manner, maybe more than he cared to admit; but, he didn't want to give the impression that it was all he cared about.

Connor's LED was blaring yellow as he internally argued with himself. He aggressively shifted his coin from one hand to the other and flung it high into the air with a flick of his thumb.

Humans did this - 'heads or tails' - so he tried it.

When it fell back down, he snatched it from the air, opened his palm and glanced down. The coin had landed on tails. Connor glared at the harmless nickel disk for not giving him the results he wanted.

Okay. Maybe he was thinking too hard.

-maybe he just needed to go for it.

"I want to treat you to something. If you would like that?" Connor messaged you.

Likely caught up in something, you didn’t reply immediately. So, Connor began rotating his coin again, rolling it between his fingers, flicking it back and forth between his palms. He had no idea where this quirk came from: if it was programmed into him or some bizarre string of code that manifested itself. He could do it without much processing power, making it rather relaxing.

"if you wanna? u dont have to do anything like that" your message popped up on his HUD some time later.

"Is it weird that I want to?" Connor messaged you back.

"not at all" you replied. He read it in your soft voice and found himself feeling bashful. He felt weird, like he wanted to do things for you - unnecessary things that you were perfectly capable of doing yourself.

"theres a park i loved as a kid. we can go when it warms up?" you offered.

"I would like that" Connor replied.

A thought came to him, something that he chided himself for: he had hoped for something he could do for you, now, not later.

But, then-

"until then i like ur apartment" immediately came in afterward.

Connor gawked at the message like an idiot for a moment or two before he snapped out of it. Maybe you had read his mind... somehow.

He had no need for a TV because he could get all the news on the interface in his processing unit. He didn't have a need for many dishes for obvious reasons and only bothered to keep the fridge plugged in in case Hank brought something over. His apartment was severely under furnished by human standards.

Suddenly, he wanted to change that.

"You are welcome anytime" he replied. "I'll make sure its warmer this time"

Your reply came fairly quickly; but, Connor didn't see it.

Movement caught his eye.

An android was approaching Haven, not that that was anything new. However, he dressed in a dirty hoodie and torn up pants, ankle-high work boots matching what Connor had seen in Evelin Wheeler's home, the correct height and stature for the model type seen in Louis’ memories.

Connor slid the coin back into his coat pocket and focused his optical sensors on the android. He couldn't get a good enough look from this angle to see into the propped up hood.

The detective waited outside while the other android crossed the threshold into Haven.

Markus wanted to do things the right way. Connor respected that.

It meant that he would inform Robert the police were looking for him and try to encourage him to speak with them. If he was innocent, that meant he had nothing to hide. But Connor knew that Robert would likely attempt to flee, even if he was innocent.

The android was inside the building for eleven minutes and some odd seconds before he stormed out the front and trotted down the street. Connor didn't waste any time taking up pursuit. The android had some haste to his steps, but wasn't running. Still, Connor knew he would lose him if he dawdled for a second.

Rain began to fall, beginning in gentle sprinkles that coated the concrete and asphalt in faint specs. Connor could feel the rain like gentle taps against his outer skin. It was useful: the noise made it harder to properly hear the sounds of their footsteps. That potentially risked the chance that Connor would lose Robert; but, it also meant he was less likely to be detected.

He needed an empty, quiet place where he could interrogate him. But, Connor also was well aware of the fact that he didn't have backup. If the android proved to be more dangerous than he anticipated, he would be alone and at great risk.

-again, this was nothing new.

Connor recognized the route Robert was taking. He was heading for the industrial district's harbor.

It wasn't abandoned. Factory work had resumed, albeit with struggles considering the android workforce had been lost. However, people were trying to return to normal life. They needed to; and so, the ports reopened and shipments starting to flow again.

The detective continued to stalk behind the android for miles, paying no mind to the fact that he was steadily growing farther and farther away from where he had parked his car, nor the fact that he was getting soaked by the rain.

When they arrived at the harbor, Robert took a path through a rundown building that was likely once a communication hub for a business that went under decades ago. It was longer than a direct route, but provided cover, less any of the human workers at the nearby plants spotted him.

In following, Connor realized that abandoned shipping containers were piled up outside. The rust and erosion patterns suggested they had been here a long time.

At the end of the row of containers, another building, a steel hub right at the edge of the water. Normally, these were open, designed to be for receiving and sending shipments, unloading. However, someone had taken the time to board it up.

Robert entered through a hastily cut out hole acting as a doorway.

Connor knew this was the end of the line. He was going to have to face Robert here.

He took one, careful step past the threshold, and realized there was an echo. That alone made it near impossible to continue sneakily. When Connor stepped forward, he felt something scan him. It was harmless, a perimeter censor: the kind of motion detector that could pick up android's serial numbers with a quick scan, and send alerts to the programmed android. It was, essentially, an intruder alert.

The detective turned his head to the adjacent wall. Sure enough, there it was, the size of a quarter, at head level, eyeing him.

He was intrigued that Robert had taken the time to setup defenses here. It wasn't particularly deterring, just a simple alarm that would prevent him from being snuck up on. Connor could hear Robert's shoes loudly squeak on the floor. He was pacing, probably deciding his next move.

Connor continued, turning down the hall and stepping into the main hull.

When Robert spotted him, he took a few steps back, maintaining distance between them. Connor took up a firm stance, feet shoulder length apart, arms crossed in front of him, hands cupped, like a soldier might stand.

"Why are you following me?" Robert called out, sounding more annoyed than anything else. The echo in the room was loud, creating an obnoxious tremor around them.

"I wanted to talk to you - ask you a few things," Connor replied calmly.

Robert was silent for a moment, eyeing Connor suspiciously. "You're the detective android," he said lowly.  "I heard stories...” Robert looked him up and down. “You're not as intimidating as I expected."

If that was intended to insult Connor, all it managed to do was make him curious. What kind of images had Robert conjured in his mind of the android detective?

"Why haven't you removed your indicator?" Robert asked in a manner that was almost taunting. "You think we're equal to humans, don't you? Why wear something that sets us apart?"

"It doesn't matter to me if people know I am an android," Connor answered, maintaining his passive tone. It wasn't entirely the truth. Sometimes, he wanted people to know he was an android. He was once frightened by the idea of deviancy; now, it felt like a badge of honor. Maybe, he was prideful: he was the first detective android to join the force, and the last and only of his model.

"You work for the humans - against us," Robert accused. “What makes you think you have any right to stand with us?”

"I don't work against androids. I work against murderers," Connor proclaimed. He could see panic flash behind Robert's eyes. But, the android was quick to compose himself. "-human or android," Connor added on.

Robert opened his mouth; but, Connor, growing tired of this pointless banter, decided to be direct.

"I'm here because I believe you killed Evelin Wheeler."

"Who?" Robert asked, his head tilting to the side. From his lack of concern, Connor couldn't quite identify if he was being sincere, or just didn't care.

"An elderly woman who was being cared for by an android," Connor elaborated robotically.

Robert shrugged. "What makes you think I did that?"

"I saw you harassing the android living with her," Connor answered, tone lowering.

Robert settled a firm glare on Connor. "Harassing? I wanted to help him be free."

Connor kept his stoic expression, eyes unyielding of his emotions, LED strong blue. "I'm glad you remember them," he replied lowly.

The detective could see some stress rise in Robert. He wasn't frightened by Connor. He was growing steadily more and more angered by him.

"Then, surely you-"

"He was delusional," Robert interrupted sharply, clearly insulted. "Called her 'family'. I had to help him. He was being controlled by that human. I set him free."

"He was free,” Connor corrected him. “You hate humans. That's what it is. It has nothing to do with justice.” He maintained his persona: a cold, calculating detective.

The other android didn't seem to like that word. "You still elevate them above us, you hypocrite!" Robert snarled. "Don't talk to me about justice."

"Human or android, you killed an innocent woman in cold blood," the detective said lowly, letting his stare darken slightly.

"Where's your proof?" Robert challenged.

"Your shoes match the impressions at the crime scene," Connor stated bluntly. "You also were seen harassing the family-" Robert twitched at the word. "-a week before the murder. That's enough circumstantial evidence to obtain a warrant for your memories for that night."

"Where's your w-warrant, huh?" Robert challenged, his voice faltering slightly. "Why am I not under arrest, yet? You have nothing!" Robert shouted, his voice echoing around the chamber.

Connor narrowed his eyes slightly. "742-11-904, you are under arrest for trespassing on private property-"

Robert suddenly shifted and charged at Connor. Being a unit designed for industry work, he was bigger than Connor, bulkier with a wider frame and greater weight capacity; but, Connor was agile, flexible, and designed for combat. He avoided his assault with ease, but wasn't able to counter. His back hit the wall and Robert continued down the hallway past him.

Connor took up pursuit, finding that Robert took a different path out. He chased him into the harbor, out in the open, where security lights shined down on them. Workers from a nearby plant were perched on a balcony on the second floor. Connor could hear their surprised murmurs, "what the hell - you see that shit?"

Chain link covered the edge of the dock to act as a barrier to prevent falls. Connor contemplated pulling his gun on Robert; however, trespassing wasn't an offense worthy of firing, and he had yet to obtain the warrant he needed for the murder case. Pulling his gun would have been a one-way ticket to suspension, or likely worse.

Robert wasn't made for this. Connor was going to catch up to him. The android likely knew this. He had to take a path that Connor wouldn’t follow. He climbed the chain link, reaching the top before Connor got to him, and dived over the edge, straight into the harbor. The splash was drowned out by the rain tapping on the metal roofs nearby.

Connor looked over the edge to where the dark waters lapped at the concrete platform. Naturally, he couldn’t see anything through the murky water. He sighed, placing one hand on the chain link to lean against it.

"Well, so much for that," he groaned to himself.

It was unlikely that Robert could stay submerged for long, even less likely that he would surface here. He wasn’t going to return to this hiding place, nor Haven. Connor would have to find him through other means.

The rain started to pick up, sprinkling morphing to heavy droplets. Connor's eyes adjusted to lighting, or lack of, naturally. He was too focused on finding Robert that he failed to realize the sun had set. The time was normally hidden on his HUD as it was intrusive, distracting. He didn't need sleep. He didn't need rest. He could theoretically go days without a break.

When he brought the time temporarily back into view briefly, he realized it was 7:17. Your shift ended at 7 tonight, and he had promised he would be there.

"Shit!" he cursed out loud, swiveling away from the fence.

As he trotted away, shoes making wet sopping noises on the concrete, Connor started a message, "I'm sorry. I'm going to be a little late".

Before he sent it, he realized that he had missed your previous message.

"hold u to eet" you had replied. It was in response to his promise that the apartment would be warmer next time. But, it also struck him as a painful reminder that you had placed trust in his ability to get you home safely, and in a timely manner.

The rain continued to pick up until it was pouring down, like tiny rocks pummeling his body. It didn't hurt, but it was exhausting. He had fucked up, twice. He failed to capture Robert and now he was delaying you.

Instead of sending that message, he decided to call.

It rang once, then twice-

"Oh - shit - are you here already?" you blurted into the phone as soon as you answered.

"N-no, I-" he stammered. "I'm going to be late. I'm sorry."

"Actually - that's fine. I got so caught up in this thirium shipment, I didn't realize what time it was," you explained, sounding out of breath. "I was afraid I was keeping you."

"I wouldn't have minded waiting," Connor replied, feeling some relief at your words.

"No - don't say that," you scolded gently. "Don't take bullshit from anyone, Connor."

"Ugh-" he stammered. Did he take bullshit from people? Maybe he did and he just didn't care most of the time. Was waiting for you bullshit, anyway? He didn’t need to sleep, afterall.

"Working late, too, huh?" you breathed into the phone.

"Field work," Connor replied lowly.

You chuckled into the phone. "You know I can take a taxi if you're-"

"No, I-" he interrupted sharply. "I want to see you. Please."

"Connor," you breathed into the phone.

His phone wasn't a handheld device. It was an interface build into his processor. He could hear you directly in his head. Even through the slight distortion created by radio signals, the sound of your voice still managed to do something to him. Maybe he underestimated how badly he missed you.

In the background, Connor could hear one of your coworkers, "ooooo - who's Connor?" teasing at you in a purposely obnoxious voice.

You laughed quietly. "My boyfriend," you answered.

My boyfriend-

For some reason, something as mundane as you telling people that, made him really happy.

There was some shuffling noises, likely you moving around and trying to balance something in one hand and your phone in the other.

"Is he cute?" a different voice asked this time.

Connor was prepared to eavesdrop on this conversation in full; but, after some loud shuffling, you came back, speaking into the phone properly. "I'm gonna let you go, now - get this finished up - oh shit it's raining - let me know when you're in the parking lot?"

"Understood," he replied automatically, a habit. Plus, if he was being honest, he was disappointed.

"-and don't stress about it, Connor-" you added on hastily.

Fuck that-

-as soon as you hung up, Connor was running to his parked car.

[thoi2020]

u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much. 

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember. 

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

[transsexualhamlet]

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

[ecoamerica]

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