#and i get so embarrassed or straight up forget abt stuff i do finish. like... shivers. Freakyverse

[inkedhorror]

oh when did that happen...

[fairy-space]

Man going through the add tags on this site kinda sucks bc...like...im trying to find people talking abt having add the same way i do but bc i don't have the same severity as i used to i feel like i dont "fit" even though i have it?? Like i don't show severe enough symptoms

It's weird. I definitely have OCD but my symptoms are manageable and i??? Still have that regardless??? AAAA

last night i LITERALLY was in my kitchen getting ready to eat dinner, unlocked my phone to track what i was going to eat, and sat there on social media for 20 minutes and forgot why i even had my phone in my hands in the first place. My bf walked out into the kitchen and was like "uhh...i thought you were gonna make food" and im like damn!!!! Yep!! Forgot!!!

Also with the whole hyperfocus thing...im just confused by some of the terminology. So like. The closest thing i can think of is when i did my Ember drawing. I made 3 different sketches and listened to her song for 4 HOURS STRAIGHT over and over and then dipped into the comments and discovered the whole Andrew Blaze thing and that was another Deep Dive AND THEN i finished the drawing and realized i hadn't had any food or water the entire time!!! That would happen a lot when i was a kid too - I'd get so into a drawing/recording that i wouldn't eat or i would stay up all hours of the night working on it

These last couple of years I've had big problem with my short term memory and completing adult tasks. If it wasn't for my bf helping me then i wouldn't be doing as well as i am. There have been multiple times where my bf and i agree to go get groceries after work on my day off and i show up not prepared to shop. Or i show up to shop on the wrong day. I've cried numerous times in frustration over my forgetfulness because i couldn't figure out why it had gotten so bad. It honestly has embarrassed me and hurt my self esteem because i can't control it. I've been trying to find a way to explain it. There is so much happening in my brain at any given moment that if you tell me something important, other important stuff gets deleted because my capacity is that of a peanut

Idk where im going with this or what im trying to prove...it just makes sense. I used to be in the gifted and talented program. Growing up i started failing classes when we all started having different teachers for everything. I excelled in art, music, and drama but everything else suffered and i would get punished for it. All the time in math and science it was "why can't i pay attention im not understanding this" but in American History my teacher banned me from raising my hand to answer questions about 80s/90s pop culture because i kept getting every one right. I couldn't write essays because they required us to use a certain organization formula to write - that didn't work for me either (fuck outlines and fuck common core for making me feel dumb)!!!!! Im so frustrated by this honestly. I've gone my whole life thinking im stupid when im not

ty for reading im Big Emotion rn I've got a lot going on in my head

[lake-arrius-caverns]

Nerevarine Rising

Chapter 7: Awakening

oops im seeing about changing my upload day to friday but yesterday i totally forgot abt it so lmao

summary After a successful assignment, Fahjoth is glad to be given a few days off and learns a little about his duties from Caius. The twins plan a trip to Vivec City for some exploration.

content warnings none

tag list @boulderfall-cave , @padomaicocean (lmk if you’d like to be added!)

read under the cut or on AO3, cheers 👍

:: First :: || << Previous << || >> Next >> || :: Masterpost ::

—————————————————————————————

Flouncing through the front door of Cosades’ tiny house, Fahjoth couldn’t wipe the grin off his face as he brandished the scrolls of parchment with glee. 

“I got them!” he cried, ecstatic. “The notes from Sharn gra-Muzgob! I got them!”

Cosades looked up from his supper with one brow raised, but by no means did he look on with disapproval. “And not a scratch on you,” he remarked, holding out a hand to receive the scrolls as Fahjoth passed them over. “I knew it wouldn’t be long before you found your feet. Well done, Novice.” 

“Well, I had help—” Fahjoth started, unwilling to take all the credit for his achievement, but Cosades didn’t seem to be listening anyway. He unfurled the scrolls and silence fell as he pored over them, a thoughtful look on his face as he examined the scrawling, loopy handwriting. Fahjoth took a seat at the table and waited, wondering what his next assignment was to be. At least Ribyna was on standby back at the South Wall Cornerclub, and for that, Fahjoth was grateful. 

“Well, Fahjoth,” Cosades started, rolling up the parchments once again and turning to face Fahjoth with the beginnings of a smile, “I’m promoting you to Blades Apprentice. You deserve it after the hard work you’ve put into all your duties.” 

Fahjoth’s heart began to soar with excitement. “Apprentice?” he repeated, awestruck. “Thank you, sir! So, uhh... what will I be expected to do now?” 

“Nothing too different, I assure you. It’s mostly a recognition thing, to be perfectly honest,” Cosades answered. He got to his feet, beginning to pace around the room in deep thought and occasionally stopping to check a book or scrap of paper, cross referencing several stacks of notes. Fahjoth wondered how he was able to keep track of it all. “Now, I'd like some time to think how this all fits in with the Emperor's plans for you. So if you'd like to get in a little freelance adventuring, go ahead. But whenever you're ready, I'll have new orders for you."

“Oh... alright.” The news came as a welcome surprise for sure. Fahjoth had to admit, he was glad to have a few days of downtime at last. It would be a good opportunity for him and Ribyna to do some exploring; she had mentioned wanting to visit Vivec City at some point, perhaps now they could finally go. 

But there was one thing that he had been growing more and more curious about; the subject of all his errands, the very reason he had been putting his life on the line in exchange for whatever information Cosades wanted. He knew nothing about any of it, and the burning desire to ask, to learn exactly why it was so important, could not be quashed. Maybe now was the time. 

“Sir?” he questioned, biting his lip with uncertainty. Cosades stared fixedly at Fahjoth, indicating that he was listening, and so Fahjoth continued — albeit with some hesitation. “Could you explain the... things that I’ve been getting information about? The, uh, the Sixth House and the Nev... Nevera... Neraver—“

“The Nerevarine,” Cosades finished for him, and Fahjoth nodded. “Of course. I forget that you can’t read well. We’ll start with the Sixth House.” 

Fahjoth shuffled in his seat, getting himself comfortable and listening with rapt attention as Cosades began to speak. “There isn’t much to say about the Sixth House cult just yet. A trusted informant of mine says they're a secret cult associated with some strange events recently. More importantly, my informant thinks these recent disturbances are related in some way to the Nerevarine Prophecies."

“And what are the—?”

“I’m getting to that part, Apprentice. One thing at a time. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but there’s been some attacks recently attributed to sleeper agents of this cult. Have you heard anything about them?”

Fahjoth shook his head. “No sir.” 

“There've been several attacks recently, and these Sleepers all say the same thing. ‘Serve your Lord, Dagoth Ur. The Sixth House is risen, and Dagoth is its glory.’”

A shiver suddenly tore through Fahjoth’s ribs, catching him by surprise. Why did that name sound so familiar? There was no distinct emotional response attached to hearing it, but the hairs on Fahjoth’s arms continued to stand on end, giving him prominent goosebumps. 

“Keep an eye out, and if you see anything suspicious, let me know.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“Alright, now for the Nerevarine.” Cosades rejoined Fahjoth at the table and took a swig of something from an open bottle before continuing. “The Ashlanders—“ 

“The what?”

“The Ashlanders— by the divines, Vetharys...”

Fahjoth grimaced, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. “Sorry...”

“No, it’s alright,” Cosades sighed. “I just thought you would’ve heard about them by now. I don't know much about them. Most people say they‘re murderous savages. But most people are idiots. I know they hate the settled Dunmer almost as much as they hate Westerners. I don't think their tribes tend to be particularly welcoming to outlanders, so watch yourself if you’re ever wandering in the Ashlands.” 

Fahjoth nodded, remaining quiet to let Cosades go on. 

“The Ashlanders pass down their customs and history in the form of poetic verses. Among the things they preserve in verse are the dreams and prophetic visions of their wise women, in particular the verses that foretell the coming of the Nerevarine. And before you ask,” Cosades added, seeing that Fahjoth was about to speak again, “some Dunmer believe that an orphan and outcast, a youth born on a certain day to uncertain parents, will one day unite all the tribes of the Dunmer, drive out the invaders of Morrowind, and reestablish the ancient laws and customs of the Dark Elven nations. They call this orphan and outcast the ‘Nerevarine’, and say they will be a reincarnation of the long-dead Dunmer General and First Councilor, Lord Indoril Nerevar. But... I don't know much else about it. That's why I'm sending you to find out.” 

Fahjoth nodded, fascinated by the sudden bombardment of information he was receiving. “And... it’s relevant to stuff that’s happening now? These cult attacks and whatnot? That’s why we’re investigating it?”

There was a split second where Fahjoth thought that Cosades may have paused, his stern grey eyes locked on Fahjoth’s own, but then came a perfectly normal response, leaving him wondering if he’d simply imagined it. 

“Correct.” 

Armed with this knowledge, Fahjoth suddenly felt inspired. So this was what all his top-secret missions had really been about. He still had no idea why he’d been pulled out of prison to join this endeavour specifically, but he no longer felt as much of a need to question it. This was his chance to make a difference, to do some real good in the world; it strengthened his resolve and he silently vowed to give it his all, regardless of how many errands he would end up having to run. 

“Alright. Thanks, sir.” Fahjoth rose to his feet, figuring he should go and find Ribyna and tell her the news, but Cosades leaned back in his chair and stared at him with such a dour look in his eyes that Fahjoth faltered.

“Don’t forget, Vetharys — always pay attention to what’s going on around you. You’re an agent of the Blades; information is our specialty,” he advised. “And never let your guard down. I don’t ever want to find you being sent back to me in a box.” 

Fahjoth cringed, feeling distinctly like he was being told off for the sheer amount of ignorance he had so openly displayed. Well, he had to learn somehow, didn't he? “Yes, sir… thank you, sir.” 

And with that he bade farewell to Cosades for now, scurrying out of the house before he could be admonished further, and made a beeline straight for the South Wall Cornerclub. Just as he rounded the corner and descended the short flight of stone steps between buildings, he found himself face-to-face with a familiar dark-haired figure, and coincidentally just the person he was looking for. 

“Ribyna!” he called, grinning as he got his sibling’s attention seconds before she stepped into the cornerclub. “Thought I’d find you here.”

“‘Sup, Fahji?” Ribyna turned away from the doorway and gave Fahjoth the usual hug of greeting. “You look happy. Has something happened?”

“I got a promotion!” he exclaimed without hesitation, eager to share the news. “And I got a few days off, too. I was thinking maybe we could do something.”

“Ah, well done, bro!” Ribyna congratulated him with a grin. “Yeah, I’m good for a few days. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I thought maybe we could go to Vivec City? If you still wanted to go there, that is.”

For the second time that night, Fahjoth thought he detected a fleeting look of hesitation on the face of someone he was speaking to. This time it was Ribyna, who appeared almost apprehensive as soon as Fahjoth had mentioned going to Vivec City; but then her response was as casual as ever, leaving Fahjoth even more befuddled and debating with himself over whether he was just seeing things.

Maybe I’m just tired, he mused to himself. 

“Yeah, sounds good. D’you wanna leave now or tomorrow?” Ribyna asked. “If you like, I can go see how much the silt strider bloke charges.”

“Well, it’s getting on a bit, but…” Fahjoth paused, looking upwards and searching for the position of the sun, which was already past its highest point in the sky. He estimated that they had a few hours of daylight left, so ignoring the little voice of caution in his head, he made his decision. 

“Yeah, why not? Let’s go tonight. Could be fun to stay overnight in the big city!” Fahjoth enthused, and Ribyna nodded. 

“Alright! I’ll go find out how much a one way trip costs,” Ribyna said. “Start heading over towards the silt strider and I’ll meet you there!” And with that she tore off, racing over the bridge in the middle of town and zipping up the stairs to speak with the caravaner. 

With a quiet chuckle, Fahjoth shook his head and began to meander at a far more relaxed pace after his twin, passing by one of the townsfolk as he stepped off the bridge. He dipped his head and smiled in casual greeting, but the Dunmer gripped his wrist with such force that Fahjoth gasped in shock. 

He leaned in, his face mere inches from Fahjoth’s own, and Fahjoth could see only too clearly his strangely blank, vacant expression. His eyes, though unfocused, were glaring at Fahjoth with such a scorching intensity that he almost broke out into a sweat, his heart hammering rhythmically in his chest like a trapped sparrow, fast and fearful. 

And then he spoke, his voice gravelly and harsh, the sound of crumbling charcoal over burning ashes. 

“Beneath Red Mountain, Lord Dagoth sleeps. But when he wakes, we all shall rise, and the dust will blow away. Serve your Lord, Dagoth Ur. The Sixth House is risen, and Dagoth is its glory.”

Momentarily frozen, Fahjoth’s senses eventually returned to him and his first instinct was to yank his wrist free of the Dunmer’s grip, panting as if he had just run a marathon. The Dunmer jerked as Fahjoth tore free, and then within seconds, the blank look on his face melted away and he cleared his throat, glancing around as if confused. He then regarded Fahjoth with a perfectly normal, albeit rather sleepy stare. 

“What do you think of our city, outlander?” he asked mildly, but before Fahjoth could even think of a response, a voice calling his name caught his attention. 

“Fahji! C’mon, hurry up!”

His mouth dry, Fahjoth wheeled around and dashed after Ribyna, not stopping until he had caught up with his twin. Ribyna looked irate as she immediately began a short rant. 

“I’m not paying for that bloody silt strider. It’s a ripoff! And if we’re gonna stay in Vivec overnight, gods know how much the rooms are gonna set us back, too. Come on, we’ll walk instead—” She paused and frowned as she finally took in Fahjoth’s appearance, while he tried to calm himself down in the meantime. 

“What the fuck’s the matter with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” With a shake of her head, Ribyna corrected herself, “Actually, you weren’t even this pale when we did see a ghost. Did something happen?”

“A— a Dunmer,” Fahjoth began, his gaze rapidly flicking from left to right, half-expecting an attack to come out of nowhere. “A Dunmer stopped me and... and said a thing...” 

However, as he took in Ribyna’s attentive expression, he realised with a heart-wrenching disappointment that there was no way he would be able to explain any of it to her. Not without going into detail about the missions that Cosades had given him, which he had been strictly forbidden to do. He could lie, omit some elements of the truth, but then what would be the point in that? His voice trailed off into silence, leaving him awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. After a few seconds, Ribyna spoke up again. 

“Did he threaten you?” she asked, very seriously. “D’you want me to find this bastard and have a word?”

“No!” Fahjoth replied hastily. With reluctance, he took a deep breath and tried to swallow his anxieties, his gaze wandering down to his wrist as he rubbed it. There was no visible blemish, but somehow, he felt his wrist burning fiercely where the Dunmer had grabbed him. “It’s fine. It was probably nothing. Let’s just go to Vivec,” he added, “I could do with the walk, I think.”

It was clear from her expression that Ribyna didn’t believe him, but his tone of voice made it very clear that to question him further would only exacerbate the issue, and Ribyna relented. “Alright,” she said eventually. “But if you’ve got a problem, you can talk to me, okay?” 

“Yeah... I know. Thanks, Beebs.” Though he wanted nothing more than to confide in his twin, Fahjoth regretfully held back. He was alive, and that was the main thing; telling Cosades could wait until he got back. In his shaken state, he found it far too overwhelming to think about right now anyway, and so the two departed from Balmora and embarked on the considerable journey southwards to Vivec City.

[sweetcheol]

college boyfriend!sehun

—genre: fluff

—au: college, friends to lovers

—pairing: oh sehun x reader

—song to listen to while reading: fall again — klang

—word count: 2.2k

—warning(s): mentions of sex, sehunnie being the best boyfriend ever, choking on chips ??? (but it’s nothing bad, i promise)

sehun was your netflix binging partner before he was even your friend

okay ... he was your netflix binging partner before you even knew his name

you guys were in an ethics class together

and it was one of those common classes everyone in uni had to take no matter their major, so it was like 60 of you in a huge ass classroom

so you resorted to the only alternative to keeping you awake during 2 hour long, powerpoint based, boring lectures: 

yoy got the best out of your netflix subscription plan

god bless airpods bc you could just hide them with your hair and nobody ever noticed anything

except for sehun

who conveniently sat one seat to the left on the row above you

so he had the perfect view to your laptop screen

and had watched the whole fifth season of peaky blinders with you

of course he never told you bc that... that would have been kind of weird

so he just kept to himself and tried his best to keep on being your anonymous netflix partner

he had even started to buy himself some snacks to munch on during class and was truly living his best life

until you finished peaky blinders ... and were about to start watching crash landing on you

sehun just ... sehun loved that show, okay?

so when he saw the intro pop on your laptop he started choking on his shrimp chips, creating a commotion

like ... even the professor stopped talking and asked him if he was okay, causing everyone to turn around and face him

red-faced, choking him

even you, who had paused the show and turned around in your seat so quickly he thought you’d cracked your neck

and in that moment, sehun did the only thing he could think of

which in that case meant bolting straight out of the classroom coughing like a madman

and just like the concerned netflix partner classmate you were, you had walked out right after him

“yah! don’t run, let me help you!”

and tbh ... sehun had never expected to turn around and come face to face with you, holding a bottle of water for him to sip on

that alone helped him stop coughing

he reluctantly accepted the water while turning beet red in the face

so the two of you sat down on a set of stairs that were near the classroom while sehun drank his water

he was trying his best to zone you out, eyes set on the floor and only focusing on the bottle in his hand

bc that had been ... embarrassing, to say the least

and he had asked you, in the smallest voice possible to please wait until class was over to pick ur things up bc he didn’t wanna go in and then interrupt the lecture again

so you granted him his wish

and when people started piling out of the classroom, you were like well

and sehun didn’t even say anything to u before he walked back inside, took his backpack with him and walked away

so you were like ???? as you stashed your laptop in ur bag and walked back to your dorm

you didn’t see him the next class

and since the room was so big you were like wtf did he sit someplace else

you couldn’t even watch your show in peace that day bc ... what had you even done to him

the lesson after that ... you were resigned

whatever was his problem you wouldn’t mind

but then someone placed a blue thunder gatorade on your desk with a hot pink post it pasted on the cap

“spare airpod ???”

and sehun was sat on the chair next to yours, drinking from his own gatorade bottle while he waited for your response

so you fished the earbuds from your bag and extended your hand, one of them resting on your palm

sehun took it

and the two of you watched the third episode of the show together

the two of u didn’t speak much though

he’d muttered a soft “thank you” when returning the airpod when class was done and that was it

but then he sat next to you the following lesson

and the next one

and the next one

a couple of weeks after that he started giving you bags of chips and cookies alongside the gatorade

until you had finished a couple of dramas

... and the semester

the two of you were quite bummed the last day of classes

bc neither of you had seen the other one in any other classes so you were sure you weren’t in the same major

and sehun had only said “it was very nice meeting you” after the last class was over

and that was it

or u thought

until half-way through the summer, you had finally found enough willpower to clean your backpack

and had found a cute little note on the bottom of it

from none other but your cute, tall classmate

“maybe we could hang out and actually talk sometime?” alongside his phone number

and at first you were like oh a month has gone by, he won’t remember me

but then you wrote a simple “hey, it’s (y/n) from ethics”

and sehun almost ... choked once again when he read it

bc he though you just weren’t going to text him at all

and so the two of you started talking

he was very funny and easy-going, so you became friends pretty fast

you texted all through-out the summer

and ofc sehun told chanyeol, his best friend and roomate, about it

which prompted chanyeol to tease him 24/7 abt how he should just ask you out

and sehun was like “it’s not like that”

but everyone could see it was like that

so sehun was like ... okay i might

and he was like “so i was thinking ... maybe we could go to the movies”

and you were like !!!!!! red code !!!!!! alert !!!!!! oh my gOD 

bc you had been like ... crushing on him ever since the chip incident

and answered him like “yeah that’d be nice” 

a few days after you went to the movies

and were both a mess at first but the date actually turned out pretty well bc you went for dinner afterwards and everything ran out pretty smoothly

sehun was like OOOOOOH YEAH I’M UR BOYFRIEND NOW ... right after he walked you to your door

but you weren’t complaining bc you liked him a lot too

SO NOW

onto the relationship

ngl you are like low-key done with him the week after you start dating bc he is ... a little shit

like if he feels he isn’t getting enough attention he’ll go like “(y/n) that’s so unfaiiiiiiiiir”

but then he’ll start playing around with vivi and you’re standing there like okAY

and if you tell him he’ll get all sassy and go like “i knEW u just can’t live without me”

but then when you spend enough time with vivi and he starts running to you instead of sehun ... he goes like “wAIT (y/n) he’s MY son wtf”

but inside he’s like “that’s OUR son oh my god” 

gets low-key jealous of all the lead actors of the dramas you watch together

like suddenly you’ll turn around and he’s pouting 

but he forgets about it halfway through the episode

even though you two aren’t in the same class anymore he likes studying together

and is always buying snacks for your study dates

he’ll study for like 15 min and then will start pouting bc he wants kisses

wears a lot of hoodies and sweatpants but will also clean up somedays bc he wants to look nice for you

will very subtly leave his hoodies at your dorm

he thinks it’s romantiquè

and you’re very grateful for it bc he’s very tall and thus his hoodies are very cozy

you kinda want to kill him sometimes but he’s definitely the kind of guy that calls you at three am just because he wants to talk to you“i just wanted to hear your voice”

and he’s just laying in his bed smiling like a fool while you tell him about your day

you both end up constantly falling asleep over the phone but neither of you mind

and then chanyeol enters the apartment and sees him passed out on the couch with his phone in hand and your name on his screen 

it’s safe to say sehun’s not going to live it down

i don’t think he’d be a big fan of pda

so in public, you kinda only hold hands

he might give you a little kiss from time to time but that’s pretty much it

oh but in private ... he can’t keep his hands off you

and your butt

he gives the best hugs ever??? and it doesn’t help that he loves hugging you

forehead kisses

so so so many forehead kisses

definitely takes advantage of his height

for that, and for placing stuff on high places so that he has to help you on getting them down

lowkey touches your butt when he’s doing it

okay but when you’re ... doing the do

sehun’s a switch

i feel like he’d either be such a whiny sub or a very ... whiny dom (but he’d still be very soft ngl) 

(i mean he’s the spoiled maknae for a reason)

favorite thing ever is when you ride him and he can just hold your hips really tight and guide your movements so they can match his

moans so fucking loud you’re sure your entire floor can hear the two of you

i’m not sure he’d be a very kinky lover

like i feel he’d be pretty vanilla

but i mean ... he dances ... his hips can ... do things

so it’s not like it’s anything bad, you know ????

a huge fan of hickeys

but on more ... private places

like he’ll never leave one on your neck

but your chest is a completely different story

bc he doesn’t leave them so that people can see them

he leaves them so he can see them and remind himself that you’re his

that you chose him

that was really sappy

he’s a dance major

and he’s always asking you to go with him to practices

both bc he loves being with you and bc he likes it when you watch him dance

he’s a tease and we all know it

he’d run his hands over his hair and smirk all the time bc he knows you’re looking at him

sometimes he even takes off his shirt and acts like it’s just bc of the heat

and you blush so hard and he’s just like 😌

but also when he has a show or presentation or something

he gets so so so so nervous

but then he spots you in the crowd and just smile a bit bc you’re there, supporting him, and that’s all that matters

his phone background is this selfie the two of you with face masks on

you had your hair up in a bun and both of you were lounging in sweats

you had been playing around with snapchat filters and accidentally took the sweetest photo ever

so he asked you to send it to him

and he set it up as both his lock screen and his home screen

yours is a mirror selfie you took when you were watching him practice

you were taking a photo and when sehun noticed he came to give you a kiss on the cheek

and it was the sweetest thing ever

he literally sends you each and every selfie he takes

and sometimes goes like “hey does this look okay?”

and sometimes it’s more like “your boyfriend is so hot wth”

and just as he takes so many selfies so he can send them to you

he also likes taking photos with you

literally everywhere you two go

he either takes a selfie or asks someone to take a picture of you

and everyone he asks always thinks you’re the most adorable couple ever

bc the love you two have for each other is like so obviously there

and he gets so soft whenever people tell him that

even when it’s chanyeol who says it

truth is chanyeol loves you because of how happy you make sehun

he once told you when you got back home from a club

and like ... you were kinda, slightly, a little bit drunk

and hearing him say that only made you feel like you were walking on clouds even more

bc if anyone asked you to describe just how happy sehun made you ... you were sure you weren’t going to find enough words to describe the feeling

even though he usually is like hell yeah i’m a cool bf

he gets really sappy at night (and when’s drunk) 

and goes on and on about how much he loves you and he’s happy he found you

bc you always get that look in your eyes that make his heart melt

bc he’s the sweetest boyfriend ever

and it doesn’t help that he’s my ult bias bc i reallyyyyyyyy wanna date college!boyfriend sehun 🤧

[evanescentdawn]

MASTERLIST (& REVIEW) OF AUGUST 2021

(3rd august) Happy Birthday, Sunfish

fandom: omniscient reader 

pairing: kim dokja/joonghyuk

summary: It was his birthday, but of course Joonghyuk would rather spend it all day in bed.

notes: this one was not planned; it was a complete surprise. (a common patten im noticing) all warm & fluff and slight angst and slight humour and v much like it! it didn’t come out perfectly as I wanted but yeah, it was good <333 the part where yjh acts like a cat DELIGHTS ME V MUCH I really didn’t except to write more for this ship, tbh, but here we are. also idk, but thinking about this fic makes me want to write a follow-up

(20th august) unnamed

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

pairing: fushiguro toji & fushiguro megumi, toji/megamama

summary: Toji was married and he was gonna have a kid soon. He doesn’t have a fucking clue about what's going on. Who thought this was a good idea?

notes: im so v in love with toji & megmama’s relationship. yeah, it’s pretty non-existent in canon and this is me making up 99% everything but it’s fun and im emotional abt this family and do really want to write the next chp but also fuckkk what is her name. it’s hard finding a way around not writing her name because I don’t want to think of one for her bad & because what if gege gives her name later on and I just embarrass myself here for coming for her (hey, I just realised that I could edit the name if gege did that) but forgetting that stuff. speaking of this particular fic. it wasn’t supposed to be apart of my other wip, I was just writing....when I realised it could be a pre-chp for it. toji is honestly so fun to write for love him

(21st august) cravings

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

pairing: itadori yuuji/kugisaki nobara

summary: 

Nobara bangs open the door with a murderous expression on her face, startling him. “You.” She grits out.

Yuuji blinks. “Me?” He says, pointing at himself.

“I’m going to kill you!” She cries out, and without elaboration dives straight for him.

notes: okay so like I did have another fic for this soulmate prompt idea but it was nowhere near finished for the first day of itakugi week and I was definitely gonna write something. so I soared high and low for a soulmate idea that would be quick to write and found this one that suit them and was cute and wrote a lil at the start of the day, and then it was the evening and okay I was panicking now as I quickly wrote this and kept writing! usually when I do a wip, I stop half-way in despite how I very well know what’s gonna happen next and it’s how I end up with so many unfinished stuff. BUT I KEPT GOING, that motivation pushing me through and heck! would u imagine! I just about managed to finish & post before the day ended!!! it was stressful but honestly best fun I had. the high stakes were fun, and it was so rewarding when I finished!!! love this one lots as well the banter & their dynamic were so so fun to write god I love them. I did have a lot that I didn’t get to write for with this one, though, and it makes me want to write a follow-up but like I always get that urge whenever I reread my stuff, so.

(22rd august) date night

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

pairing: itadori yuuji/kugisaki nobara

summary:

I want more, she thinks, the drag of his fingers on her hands painful because it’s not enough. Kugisaki Nobara is greedy, and this is nowhere near enough. She wishes that Megumi was here so she wouldn't have to deal with these stupid feelings.

--

or, nobara pines helplessly.

notes: honestly, this is probably my fave out of what I wrote for itakugi week (that I’ve so far finished) and I love it very much!!! this definitely did not come like how my initial idea was and tbh, still want that idea, so will probs write smth on that... anyways love this one so much the pinning the yearning the lil angst (gah, so good) and how it didn’t go all angst (surprised me) and came out hopeful and stuff. I really do want to write a follow-fic where it follows them getting together. will i? who knows

(24th august) What Not To Do 

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

pairing: itadori yuuji/kugisaki nobara

summary: 

“Are you saying you never — never — that I’ve been thinking you were rejecting me all this time but you didn’t know.“ Alternatively: they are idiots, your honour.

notes: man okay, this day was definitely smth. I went through three wips because somehow none of them were working and genuinely was gonna give up this day but! what do you know! I managed to finish this one! but, uh, I did kind of rush with it and didn’t quite go well so I’m not feeling very favourable towards this one but I do love it! it’s good! just not the best of what it could be & urgh, I always see that. which is annoying, but! I measure fics but how much fun it is and how much I learned from writing it which is a whole lot plenty. never regretted posting it <3

(25th august) hold me, and warm me right up

fandom: golden time

pairing: Oka Chinami/Kaga Kouko

summary:

Oka probably wants to break up, and hates her, now. Oh god.

Kouko buries her face further into her scarf, mind spinning with all the worst possible. Instead of any of them, she feels warmth envelope her hands. 

She startles, peeks out, and finds Oka clasping her hands with hers. 

(In where Kouko is still getting used to this new relationship thing, and Oka is a concerned girlfriend.)

notes: this fic’s existence delights me v much. just. yes. this ship were a surprise to me, along with how I managed to actually finish something! very exciting! also. just. this one is so cute & adorable, I cant. I have a million of thoughts about this lil piece and every time I think of it I desperately want to write something more on them OKAKO IS ONE OF THE BEST SHIPS I COULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF AAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.

au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!

quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same

all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law

so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger

he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder

nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it

hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people

hero to the people villain to literally everyone else

allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding

he has longer grey hair too.

all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening

david shield is still in this story

david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow

all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?

also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku

all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over

izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen

when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire

izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?

izuku doesnt buy it

izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it

the sludge villain

all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given

(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)

izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"

and all might is like ",,, b  oy"

izuku softly asking

"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"

all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance

its bakugo!! hes dying

the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little

izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces

he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead

all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die

and he thinks

"no one deserves one for all more than him"

and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in

the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes

before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why

izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe

bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend

(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)

izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"

he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob

all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye

"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"

and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"

izuku looks at this villain

this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength

and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs

inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist

izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him

he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair

he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried

all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.

so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic

did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?

the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does

and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch

they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices

izuku looks at all might and asks

"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"

and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"

all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet

he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating

and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung

izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him

some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father

all might, abt to burst into tears: whack

allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man

he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man

izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"

so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko

hes like

sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"

she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain

inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))

all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???

hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????

all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier

inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things

one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door

one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son

allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him

it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar

[kyareureuk]

omg my memory has faded so much already but im finally gonna get this out of my drafts and maybe. make a new post or add to this if i think of anything else. also i’m sure a lot of this is gonna be out of order sorry ;;

HAPPY EVER AFTER FANMEETING 080419!!!!!!!!!!!

they started with 24/7=heaven and followed up with i like it pt 2

during i like it pt 2 when namjoon uses jimin as a telephone jimin shouted “MOSHI MOSHI” so loudly akjgflhjgf

bts was saying that a special guest had come to the fanmeeting that day and they were like “where? look around..... can u spot them....?” and everyone in the crowd was like peering around and then bts was like “the special guest is you, army!! hahahahaha”

hoseok started introducing himself and then pointed the mic at the crowd to finish with “hoooooope!” taehyung did the same he introduced himself as taetae and pointed the mic at us to say it back

jimin had like three rounds of cheers before he even got his introduction out bc he kept halting every time he was about to speak

jin began his introduction w his patented soulful stare and then gave a big flying kiss but jungkook stuck his hand in front of jin’s hand and threw the kiss out to the audience as well so jin turned to him after and was like “what was that? what do you think you’re doing??” jhfgjf

yoongi was sitting between tae and jin and when it was his turn to introduce they like helped him take out his in-ear monitor so the crowd could cheer for him

when the host was speaking during the introduction tae kept playfully hitting his arm in an “oh, stop it” way and then would switch cutely gesturing for him to continue

when they were introducing the memory clouds they started reenacting haikyuu (i heard they did naruto the first day?) mostly with taehyung, jimin, jungkook, jin and they made some references/may have said lines from it but i haven’t watched so i can;t say for sure akjfgh

ironically i’ve forgotten a lot of the memory cloud stuff akdhjfgjkfgh they teased jimin abt if he was gonna get jungkook the mansion he asked for for graduation and also they showed a vlive of namjoon’s where he was using cute filters and he looked like resigned but still a little embarrassed that it was being shown fkjghg

they talked abt whether jimin had grown taller and he claimed he had so they got jimin and yoongi to compare heights, at first jimin stood on his tip toes so on the screen he did look much taller but namjoon pushed him down and made him stand properly. they were p much the same height but honestly jimin was trying so hard whereas yoongi looked like he wasn’t really putting his all into standing 100% straight

at one point when the host asked jungkook was like “i’m more grown up than the oldest so i take care of him often” and namjoon chimed in like “jin’s a child” and jin was like “a CHiLd?????? i just act that way to be on same level as you guys!!”

i forget how they started talking abt it but the host was asking tae abt john legend and tae said that in his mind they had the kind of r/s where they could go out to eat like. burgers or smth I CANT REMEMBER but then he started singing all of me and he stood up to turn to jungkook so they could do a duet and jk harmonized so well... and the others were all like “yahhhhhh!!” afterwards

they divided up into groups based on how far they could jump..... yoongi didn’t even try he did a hop backwards. during jin’s turn jimin jokingly did an imitation of him doing a jump in place and jin seemed to be like w/e and did a small jump forward. jimin did like the longest jump and was SUPER self satisfied

their teams for who would get the costume punishment were hyung vs maknae line and maknae won with the photo of grubby jungkook in hawaii ajhfg i was cheering for hyung line a) i love them b) yoongi shouted the loudest “せーの!” to get us to cheer and i didn’t want to let him down. but their costumes were funny so

they kept joking abt namjoon’s costume because even though there’s a bigger difference w english pronunciation lemon in japanese sounds very close to rapmon in korean. also they called yoongi “suga(r ) candy”

jungkook took a bite out of namjoon’s lemon costume and made a face like he was tasting smth sour and later when he walked jin down the walkway he pretended to take a bite out of him as well

jimin walked hoseok down the walkway near my seat first while singing happy birthday to army and tried to blow out the costume’s candle, then tae and namjoon walked down it like they were models on a runway and at the end tae pretended to chop namjoon up

jimin then walked yoongi down the other side and since his candy cane costume had a green bow he was like “isn’t this like christmas” and started singing last christmas to him, then he told him to hurry up and yoongi started strutting and when they got to the end jimin went around to his other side to take a bite out of the candy cane

hobi kept doing silly dances in his cake costume and they did baepsae he did the dance break wearing it

during good day jin and hoseok started serenading each other and the others kind of gathered around, tae got up in jin’s face and jk was holding onto his shoulder while namjoon slung an arm around hobi and then jimin and yoongi kind of just watched on w amusement lol, then they all turned and gave hearts to the crowd

otsukare song was like a huge party i genuinely thought i would cry if they sung it but it was just way too fun also i dont even remember paying attention to them during it i was just singing as loud as i could. edit: also i was trying so hard to catch a star i was looking up like the whole time!!! i wanted one so badly but none came close enough ;;

there was an interactive rhythm game where the members were assigned an emotion with a gesture/yell to go with it, the teams were jin (love) tae/yoongi (scary) namjoon/hobi (surprise) jimin/jk (fun) and their team’s yell was nochu! at one point they tried to mix it up and say chimchim! instead but jimin was like haha nah .

they each went to a walkway and the 94z team stood on the one nearest to my seat, then the danger and bs&t mvs played on the screens and when the symbols for the emotions passed everyone’s army bombs changed to match the colors and we had to do the gesture/yell. i think hobi got bored and started dancing up on namjoon during bs&t at one point and namjoon was just like I’m Used To It.

there was also an interactive rock paper scissors game! the section of the audience that i was in didn’t win though i lost almost every round lol. the pre-recorded turns for the members looked like they were filmed on the same day as run eps 49-50 because the outfits were the same

mic drop dance break!!!!!!!!!! super cool. not much else to say.

during tae’s line right before the bridge in dna jin hooked an arm over his shoulder so he couldn’t sit and then for the bridge pretended to whisper into tae’s ear while singing his line and tae pretend-whispered his line back. when jimin popped up he gave a little finger heart

their individual filters for go go were so cute... i think jin and yoongi got switched up in line but regardless yoongi was very coy and cute during his time up the crowd really went wild for him

sakaguchi kentaro came!!!!!! the real special guest. the members were talking about signal and mentioned he came and they shone a spotlight on him and he waved, then jimin pulled at his throat a bit to get ready to sing and hobi “helped” by like chopping him in the windpipe ajfhg and then jimin started going down the walkway towards where his seat was basically serenading him with don’t leave me and the others followed up, jimin asked to call him hyung and hoseok like asked for his number in front of a stadium full of ppl akhfghfg get it hobi.......

omg i literally like. i know there are so many things im forgetting but i waited too long to finish writing this ...... bts fried my brain it truly was an otherworldly experience im lucky that i remember any of it at all