#and i have exams to revise for that are at the end of the month but I can’t even begin to get on with that because ive been trying to tackle

[irhabiya]

death and pestilence on all my professors

[scorpius-rising]

God I'm so fucking tired

[doodlingwren]

Aughhghghh still busy <3 sorry for the late replies to comments and such lol bye <33333

[indecisivemuch]

Look at me

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader

Summary: Being oblivious to Luke’s feelings, you tried to get over him by getting a boyfriend, who just does not know how to treat you right. Inspired by the song ‘Boyfriend’ by Dove Cameron ~ “I could be a better boyfriend than him.” (jealous luke, friends-to-lovers, fluff, angst, pining, happy ending.)

Warning: Just the boyfriend being an asshole and unwanted physical touch for a split second, but nothing serious. Sorry if your name is Cole. Violence (physical fighting)

Note: I’m sorry if there are a lot of errors, I haven’t had the chance to edit this thoroughly so if it feels like a train wreck, then I'm sorry. I just needed to write this out, get it out there, so I can go back to revising for my exams in peace lol, cause this plot/idea has been at the back of my head, I could not stop thinking about it or study properly. Lowkey hated how this one turned out, but whoops.

Word count: 4.8k

“People say that eyes are the windows to one's soul,” you once told him. You two have been best friends for a very long time: five years of being attached to the hip. Yet, you were completely oblivious to the way he looked at you. Even everybody at camp noticed and thought it was bound to happen. They were so sure that Luke and you would end up together. So imagine everybody’s surprise when something else occurred.

It happened right in front of Luke: Cole - a boy from Cabin 5 and son of Ares - asked you out, and you said yes.

It has been two months since that day. All Luke could do was sulk as he watched his best friend slip away. Of course, you still tried to spend as much time as possible with him. But even then, things have changed. There were no more of those content silences between the two of you. There were no more carefree laughs that made Luke feel like you two were the only ones that existed in this place. He used to walk you back to your cabin every night, hugging you good night or kissing your forehead close to your hairline if he felt brave enough. Moments like those convinced him you two would be like that forever. But his solace was taken in a split second. Now, you were so near, yet so out of reach. 

It didn’t help that he saw you every day, like right now, as you sat in the middle of a gathering hosted by your cabin. Gods, even the wind seems to be in love with you, judging by the way it was blowing through your hair as if it was trying to twirl itself around those lovely locks that Luke himself used to always tug behind your ears. The sight of you always bathed him in this warm feeling, like the morning sun. Hence his nickname for you: sunshine. 

Then his brown eyes landed on the figure next to you, and they hardened. He has witnessed it all: Cole’s backhanded compliments, ignoring you on your birthday, leaving you alone to talk to his friends, occasionally flirting back with girls who batted an eyelash at him, and then blatantly telling you that you were overthinking it. Luke knew he could treat you so much better. 

You were sitting with your boyfriend and his group of friends, who often gave you weird looks or snickers. Gods, if it was him you were with, he’d never make you feel excluded. He would have his arms around you and defend you if his friends ever made snarky remarks. Not that that would ever happen anyway; you were well-loved at camp, and all his friends loved you. But he would treat you well, nevertheless, not like that dumbass sitting next to you.

One of your favorite songs started playing, and Luke watched as you genuinely smiled for once tonight. You touched your boyfriend’s arm, muttering something to him. Luke knew exactly what you were saying to Cole because you and Luke used to do this together. Except, you never had to ask Luke. 

Whenever your favorite tunes were on, Luke would immediately pull you out of your seat and dance with you, laughing as if nothing mattered at all. Nights like those, he liked to imagine that the stars above envied them and what the two of you had. Now? He felt like one of them, watching from the outside. 

Luke’s jaw clenched as he saw Cole shrugging off your hand on his arm. Gods, Luke felt like that idiot was taking you for granted, and his blood boiled. Before Cole, Luke used to always orchestrated some excuse to have you touch him - getting injured on purpose sometimes just to watch you frantically panic over his wounds and take care of him, volunteering to help you out with swords training just to touch your hand and pretend to adjust the way you were holding it, hugging you every time he greeted you and so on.

For a second, your mask slipped, and you had that look on your face, like something had left you emotionally wounded. It was the kind of look Luke would kill to never see again, and oh, the things he would do to get rid of Cole. Luke had to wrestle with the thought of marching up to Cole and beating him to a pulp. However, he did stand up to approach you.

You felt a hand touch your shoulder. When you peered at the person standing, your eyes immediately glimmered as they caught Luke’s. However, something foreign was gleaming in his eyes. The Hermes boy has always looked at you sweetly. But the way he was looking at you right now was filled with something much more intense - borderline fervent, like an obsession. 

Cole finally glanced over at you for the first time the entire night. Unlike you, he instantly recognized the look in Luke’s eyes: hunger and longing. It was clear as day to everybody but you.

Luke extended his hand out for you to take and you understood right away. For the first time in two months, your hand touched his. Luke’s chest sunk and his breathing lost its usual rhythm for a second as your skin made contact with his. The Hermes boy finally looked over to Cole, and the Ares boy saw an immediate shift in his eyes. Now, they were filled with animosity and - the most obvious of all - heated jealousy. 

Luke led you away from Cole and started twirling you around. You let out a laugh - the kind that was infectious and has always brought a smile to Luke’s lips. You both sang along to the lyrics. For once, your relationship felt restored, just like the good old days. Was it wrong that this was the happiest you have felt since you got together with Cole? You shrugged away the thought as the song slowly ended. Luke settled with both hands on your waist while yours were around his neck. Usually, you would put your head on his chest as you both slightly swayed around. But now that you were in a relationship, you kept a bit of distance between the two of you. You gaze up at Luke, who was already staring at you sweetly. The moment was perfect. Gods, you almost wished to stay in it forever.

Meanwhile, Luke hoped he could convey his thoughts through his eyes - the unspoken words he wished he had told you sooner. Could you not see the infatuation coursing through his veins whenever he was with you? Could you not see that you got him at your beck and call? 

The look you gave him almost convinced him that you heard his thoughts. You leaned your head on his chest, caught off-guard by the speed of his heartbeat as it soothed you along with the music in the background. Feeling a heated look over his way, Luke glanced around and locked eyes with your boyfriend. Cole narrowed his eyes while Luke gave Cole a look of resentment and immense loathing. 

Gods, he could be a much better boyfriend than Cole.

“Hey, man,” when you heard your boyfriend’s voice, you lifted your head from Luke’s chest and withdrew your hands around his neck. “I’ll take over from here,” Cole practically pulled you away from Luke and started swaying with you. Instead of feeling happy that Cole finally danced with you after two months of dating, you felt wrong. Cole's hands were on your waist, but they felt sluggish like his heart was not in it at all. Your ear was against Cole’s chest, so you caught the sound of his heartbeat. It sounded…too calm, almost cold and shallow, causing you to twist your lips into a frown.

You glanced up at your boyfriend but saw him staring behind you instead. So you glanced back and caught a glimpse of Luke before getting pulled around by Cole, who roughly yanked your face towards him. He kissed you almost aggressively. There was something cynical and bitter about the way he was kissing you. 

Cole opened his eyes and conceitedly made eye contact with Luke. The Hermes boy glared at the sight of Cole handling you so roughly, claiming your lips so smugly. If it was him, he would be kissing you for you; he would be kissing you to show you how much he worshiped you and the ground you walk on, not to prove an empty point.

You finally managed to pull away when Cole let go of your chin. “All right, we’re done for the night, don’t you think?” your boyfriend muttered, quickly leaving you to return to his friends as if nothing had happened. Despite feeling slightly aggravated at Cole, you hated that you couldn't care less of his words at that moment, and the first thing you did was look in the direction Luke had been before. 

Yet, he was not there anymore.

~~~

Your cabin was not on the same side as Luke’s cabin for this match of capture the flag. You were fighting off some people who were on the blue team. Years of training with Luke paid off because you managed to point your sword at the person’s neck and grinned when they put their hands up in surrender. You continued perusing through the area, trying to regroup with your team or take down another blue team member. However, you almost tripped as you witnessed Cole on the ground with Luke on top of him, repeatedly punching his face..

“Luke!” you called out, watching as Luke’s action faltered, and his eyes darted around frantically around like a lost wild animal. However, Cole took advantage of Luke’s momentary distraction to land a hit on Luke’s face. The Ares boy got off the ground as Luke stumbled and went for another punch. However, Luke dodged it effortlessly and rammed Cole against a tree instead.

“Hey, knock it off,” you yelled, standing between the boys to stop their flight. Luke immediately backed off, afraid he would accidentally hurt you if he didn’t. But Cole, in the middle of his blind rage, still swung for Luke and ended up striking you across the face instead. Right when that happened, Luke pushed Cole again and rushed to your side to assess your injury. At that very moment, Chiron approached the scene with one of Cole’s friends next to him, who promptly told the man:

“It was him. Luke initiated the fight.” 

~~~

Luke wished for somebody to put him out of this misery as he stared at you from afar helplessly. He was so dotted that it hurt. Somebody must have answered his prayers because your eyes met his from across the field. There was a bit of sadness behind them, perhaps regret from how things ended yesterday. You whispered something to your boyfriend, but Cole did not even spare you a glance and waved his hand as if dismissing you from the discussion. Luke’s hand once again curled into a fist. He bit the inside of his cheek from the pain induced by his injury. The Hermes cabin counselor felt no bit of guilt in his body about his physical altercation with Cole. He felt smug at the sight of Cole with one black eye, busted lip, swollen cheek and a body sporting way more bruises than him. 

You deserved better. 

“Hey, stranger,” you greeted, sitting beside Luke. Almost immediately, he hooked one finger under your chin, tilting your head lightly as if he was afraid he might break you. The boy scanned over your injury, sighing at the sight of purple forming under your skin, indicating an emerging bruise. Even so, under the moonlight, you still looked heavenly to him.

“Devon said you initiated the fight. Is that true, Luke?” Luke frowned at the mention of Cole’s friend. Great, now he knew another idiot’s name. Meanwhile, you have asked this because you knew him. There was no way the boy you knew would lose control like this and swing his hands first. 

“No, but what’s the point of telling Chiron that? It’s two against one,” he breathed out.

“Luke, you’re literally the friendliest and nicest counselor here. Of course, he would believe you,” you reasoned. You sighed disappointingly as Luke only shook his head in response as if asking you to drop it.

Now, you two sat in silence. It felt the same as the comforting ones you have had with him before - the ones that made you feel like you were at home in front of your fireplace, curled up with a book. 

“Why are you with him?” and with that, the comfort evaporated as the air thickened. You and Luke rarely argued or even disagreed, so it felt like an unfamiliar territory every time it felt relatively tense between you two. 

“I know you, which is why I know that you’re absolutely miserable with him, so I don’t understand why you’re still with Cole,” Luke commented, though his voice was quiet because he was considerate of drawing this type of attention to you. He had seen it before - Cole causing public altercations and storming off and you running after him with tears emerging from your eyes. He did not want to put you in the same position.

“Y/N, please, as your best friend…” there it was again, the word that used to make you smile brightly, was now the same one that brought you pain. You wanted more. “...You deserve better,” he uttered, his eyebrows slightly scrunched as he looked at you with those eyes. There it was again, the look so intense that you were convinced they could swallow you whole. Yet, you could not interpret them. So, you looked away.

“Luke…” you said his name almost like a warning sign. The boy sighed at this. 

His fingers gently tilted your chin towards him, urging you to face him. There was so much contrast in the way he touches you and the way Cole does. You knew precisely why Luke wanted you to look at him: your eyes were your tell for him. Years ago, after you told him that eyes were the windows to one's soul, he told you that he knew this already because he had learned that your eyes will always tell the truth for you. That’s how, in so many instances, he would be the first to notice whenever you're upset. 

“Y/N, does he make you happy?” you stiffened at the question. Words choked up in your throat as your mouth opened to answer. You wanted to say yes so you both could get over this conversation. But you knew he would be able to tell you were lying. The way he looked at you right now, as if you were the only thing that mattered. He seemed so vulnerable. Little did you right at this moment, Luke was willing to surrender and let you go if you said yes.

“Oh, this is who you left me to talk to?” Cole's voice broke you both out of the trance. “The person who beat your boyfriend?” Cole passive-aggressively spat, sneering from above as he looked down at the two of you. You called out to your boyfriend, but he quickly cut you off with a quick “Unbelievable,” before walking away. But Cole did this on purpose. He liked the attention he drew, even if they were at your expense, especially because he knew you would chase after him.

“I’m so sorry,” you muttered to Luke on your boyfriend's behalf as you stood up to run after him. Luke frowned as he shook his head. If you were his, he would never allow you to apologize on his behalf, nor would he give a reason for you to ever do that.

“Uhm, what are you waiting for?” Annabeth’s voice broke Luke from his irritated state. “Go after her,” the young girl nudged.

“I doubt I should do that, Annabeth. Last time I was with him, he ended up in the infirmary.”

“Yes, but you need to go after her before it’s too late.”

“It’s already too late.”

“No, it’s not,” the girl stated sternly, and when Luke peered over at her, he recognized the look on her face. From experience, he knew better than to doubt when Annabeth was right. So, he stood up and walked in the direction where you disappeared after your boyfriend.

“Stop it, Cole. I don’t want to…” Your voice grabbed Luke’s attention as he started walking in that direction, eyebrows furrowed.

“Come on, this is the least you could do to make it up to me,” Cole replied. 

When Luke reached the scene, he almost went into an uncontrollable wrath when he saw Cole trying to take off your shirt as you objected and struggled out of his grip. 

“I said ‘let go,’ Cole,” you yelled this time, pushing him back. Upon finally doing so successfully, a figure stormed past you and immediately flung at Cole’s cheek, right at the spot that was already bruising. The impact knocked Cole to the ground as he wailed from the pain. Averting your gaze to the person, you saw Luke. Like a deranged bull, Luke grabbed Cole by the collar and lifted him up, going in for another hit, but you quickly stopped him, calling out his name.

Cole, who did not learn his lesson, spoke again, “Gods, of course! He runs to your aid again. You must be a good fuck for him to get this attached. How many times have you fucked him, huh? Gods, you’re such a whore, you know that?” If it were not for your hands stopping Luke and removing his grip from Cole’ shirt, Luke would have ensured Cole no longer had a face. 

“Cole, stay the fuck away from me. We are over.” Your words seemed to affect Luke more than Cole. It was as if Luke could feel an immense weight being lifted from his shoulders. “Let’s go, this is not worth it,” you told Luke. Cole barked a laugh at this.

“Man, you’re more trouble than it's worth. Do you know why no guys ever asked you out? You’re fucking difficult and clingy, that’s why. If it was not for that fucking bet, I would not have either.” Luke was about to launch at Cole but was caught off guard because you had already done it yourself. You punched him, aiming for his nose and teeth, making sure to break a few.

“You fucking bitch!” Cole spoke after he howled in agony. He spat out blood as his nose started bleeding, “Gods, you’re gonna pay for this.”

“Oh yeah? Come on!” you challenged him, motioning him to come over. Any sense of calm or restraint you had was long gone. “I’ll be the one sending you to the fucking infirmary this time,” right when you started approaching Cole again, you were quickly stopped by Luke. He stood behind you, one of his hands soothingly rubbing your back in an attempt to calm you down. Luke averted his gaze to Cole.

“If you know any better, then leave, Cole. And don’t come near any of us again, or I promise you…” Luke trailed off, shaking his head as his eyes bore the weight of the promise he left unsaid, leaving it to Cole’s imagination as to what Luke would ever do to him if he ever saw the boy again. Something seemed to dawn on Cole as he saw the dark look on Luke’s face. Cole finally decided to leave the scene, limping away from the area as he muttered some insults under his breath.

You turned around and inspected Luke’s hand, which started bleeding again through the bandage. Taking his non-injured hand in yours, you wordlessly dragged the boy to the infirmary. Despite the excruciating pain spreading through his injured hand, Luke blushed at your action and followed you like a lost puppy.

The Apollo person on shift was someone you knew, so you managed to convince them to let you do the work on the Hermes boy. You observed his hand again, peeling off the dirty bandage from it. As you went to grab disinfectant, Luke softly held you back by flipped over his hand that was in yours so that he could take a look at your hand instead.

“Are you okay?” His words made you swiftly look over at him instead. There was a sad look on his face as he sat on the infirmary bed. You haven’t seen him this hurt and dejected in a long time.

“Am I okay? You’re the one with the bleeding hand.”

“You punched him quite hard.”

“He deserved it,” you settled on answering, hesitantly pulling your hand out of his so you could grab the things you needed. 

“You know I had that handled, right?” you asked mindlessly, trying to fill the silence as you disinfected his hand and wrapped a new bandage over it. “I don’t need you to defend my honor or anything, Luke. I can hold my own ground,” you tried joking.

“No, I know you can hold your own ground. Besides, I wasn’t defending your honor,” he spoke softly, watching as you delicately held his hand with so much care. He wished you could hold him like that as well. A quivering sigh escaped his soft lips, his voice much less firm than he wanted it to be: 

“I was defending the girl I’m in love with.”

You immediately looked at him, only to see him already gazing up at you. It was as if a blindfold had been taken off, you finally understood what your other friends were referring to when they said that Luke had always “looked” at you. His eyes were filled with adoration. However, this time, they were also decorated with pain.

“I could be a better boyfriend than him,” he stated, almost like it was a fact, and your gut knew it was true, too. 

“So….Why not me? I watched you give Cole - a complete asshole - a chance with you. I watched him give you so much less than what you deserve. It pains me, but I still sit here and wait for you to look in my direction for even one second in the way I have always looked at you. I could be so good to you, Y/N. I waited for you to realize I could be the one who loves you so endlessly and treats you way better than all these guys combined. So…why? Please tell me why and put me out of my misery. Why is it not me?”

“Luke…” you rasped out his name. Despite the pain he was in, his heart could not help but throb for a second as it yearned for the sound of your voice calling out to him again. He almost scowled at himself for the way he was reacting to you. Gods, you managed to unravel him through the sound of his name from your lips. He hesitated for a second, wondering if he would even be able to take it at all - if he was given a chance with you. Would he be able to handle the way your skin felt against his, or would his heart burst into unstoppable flames? Would he ever be able to move on if you ended up breaking his heart, or would it remain in scattered pieces of you?

“I love you,” he uttered so effortlessly, which almost convinced you he had said it a thousand times before. In a way, he did, but only in his mind after every time he bid you goodnight. Gods, never did you think he’d say it out loud and put it out there. You almost said it before as well - out loud to the universe, but never brave enough.

“Luke, I never knew,” Luke wanted to sigh as he looked away from you. For the first time ever, he did not want to be vulnerable and let you see his eyes. The same ones that had been looking longingly at you for the past five years, and you were too blinded to see.

He could have sworn that he had been laying it on thick for the past years - all the touches, the looks, his actions. Luke would always linger near you and select you first every time he had to go on a quest. And if he ever were selected to go on one without you, the first thing he would do after returning is wrap his arms around your waist as he pulled you into a hug, breathing in your presence like it would bring him back to life from the gruesome battles he had to go through while out of camp. Did all those actions throughout five years not show you enough that he was infatuated with you? He wanted to reassure you that what Cole said previously was not true. Many guys wanted you but never asked you out because they knew he would be first in line no matter what. 

"Luke, please, look at me," Of course he obeyed. His eyes met yours - the ones he always tried to find in a crowd of demigods.

“I never knew that you were an option. I did not know that I could choose you. I thought that even attempting to tell you about my feelings would break our friendship forever. I didn’t know you felt this way, too. In fact,” you dryly chuckled. “I was giving Cole a chance because I was trying to move on from you.” Luke tugged you closer to him, his fingers lingering on your hips. Thousands of thoughts speared through him as he tried to collect himself. A glimmer of hope presented itself as his mind toyed with the idea of you wanting him too.There was no way he was letting you move on now, not when you both have mutual feelings. 

“I thought I was deep in the friend zone. Did you not see all the moves I pulled on you?” he asked.

“What moves?”

“Uhm—the physical contact?”

“I thought you were just touchy.”

“I walked you back to your cabin every night!”

“Well, I thought it was just a best friend thing?”

“The first thing I do after every quest is search for you, you’re always the first one I want to see.”

“I really, really thought it was because you were my best friend.” He groaned at all of your responses.

“But do know, Luke. You have always been my first option in everything. And I would have chosen you again and again, the first pick every round…if I knew you were up for it.” He groaned again, but this time out of temptation and satisfaction. He didn’t think the metaphorical butterflies were real. He slowly but surely stood up from the infirmary’s bed and wrapped his arms around your waist. You reciprocated, your hands around his neck. He leaned closer to you and gulped. He wanted to say the right words, do the right things and not mess this up. He took a deep breath and finally settled on what to say next.

“Can I kiss you?” He muttered in a low, raspy voice with a restrained manner, as if he was holding himself back. Five years of pining led him to this point. You almost melted at the sound of his voice.

“Kiss me, Luke.”

And he did. He pulled you up and arched down, connecting your lips together. He dove in as if he had been waiting for this day his whole life. He felt every breath knocked out of his lungs. He sunk himself into this moment like he was living for it rather than in it. He kissed you as if it was the only time he could and as if you would evaporate if he stopped. His hands moved to your face to embrace your cheeks in his palm.

You started moving your hands up his head and played with his curly hair. You tugged it slightly, and the action drew a moan from Luke. The sound caused you to break away. It made you flustered that you had evoked such an alluring sound from the Hermes boy. 

“I wanna go slow for you, I really do. But it feels like I’ve been waiting for so long. I want to be a gentleman and not skip steps. But I can’t wait anymore,” he whispered before whimpering against your lips, “please be mine.”

He went in for another kiss again, but you pulled away. His heart clenched at this. The boy bit his lip and wanted to scowl at himself for attempting to speed things up. He was too greedy and wanted things too quickly for you. He almost whined at the thought of losing the chance he barely had.

“That was not a question, Luke. Ask me, and I’ll give you an answer,” he stared into your eyes, and it almost set him on fire. He never saw that much passion in them before. It almost matched his, and that made his heart fasten again.

“Will you be mine, sunshine?”

“Yes, Luke. As long as you’re mine too.”

“I have always been yours.”

——————————

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[shadowbriar]

James Potter - Traitor

Pairing : James Potter x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 1.9k Warning : Cliffhanger (sort of). Not proofread as always. Synopsis : As gracious and angelic Lily Evans is, she couldn’t help but to see her as some villain who might steal him away. Notes : Inspired by this request and Olivia Rodrigo - Traitor. Pretty sort as I don't know if anon would like a happy or sad ending? If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ James Potter's Masterlist click here. Taglist : @jsjcue @ell0ra-br3kk3r @sofiacblair @coffeehurricanes @ineedmentalhelp123

She should’ve known better. She should’ve known that when he pulled that stunt at the Great Hall, proclaiming his feelings and just how desperate he’s been to get her attention, that it was only a projection of the words he wanted to confess to another. She should’ve known that when he looked at her with those eyes that were filled with love, it would never compare to the affection he hoards for another. She should’ve known that with every promise, every sweet nonsense he whispered to her ears, they were truly addressed for another.

The signs were laid bare for her to see. From the way he stopped holding her hands in the hallway to making up excuses and cancelling their dates. His kisses have turned into quick pecks before they’re gone altogether. The jokes he used to share have stopped coming. Dissipating into thin air with no warning.

Supposedly it was her fault. She should’ve said something, calling him out from the lack of effort he’s been showing but she knew she was pulling on a thin thread. Their relationship has always been based on a frail foundation. She knew that deep down there was no other woman that could topple his first love, so she kept quiet. Crying herself to sleep and praying to whoever might listen out there to help salvage their relationship. Anything to keep him just a little bit longer.

“Love, you left your hair tie in my room,” James says once he takes a seat, busying himself with the stack of pancakes in front of him.

She takes the unassuming item and examines it. This hair tie wasn’t hers. She doesn’t have bright orange hair ties, “This isn’t mine, James.”

“Oh,” He responded, taking the item and placing it in his pocket nonchalantly “Must be Lily’s then.”

“Lily?”

“Yeah, we had an impromptu study session last night after our rounds. She helped me with my potion essays.”

“But we promised to do that essay together,” She says, forcing a smile as she tries her best to conceal her disappointment and heartbreak “I waited for you to have some free time so we can work on it together.”

“Yes well, like I said, it was an impromptu session. We finished our rounds earlier than expected so we figured we could use the free time to do the assignment.” He explained, still oblivious to the harm done to her heart “Shouldn’t you be proud I’ve finally managed to finish an assignment earlier than due? This is a huge improvement for me, don’t you think?”

Her head nods, another pretend smile decorating her face. James looks happy and proud of his achievement. It was true. When else would you find James Potter diligently working his schoolwork? He’s always been one of those students who waits for the adrenaline rush of working everything at the last minute. He’s brilliant, perhaps too brilliant to ever spare an hour in revising his notes and making flashcards for the upcoming exams, so this certainly is a huge improvement to celebrate for. If only it wasn’t because of Lily.

“You’ve been spending more time with Lily, lately.” She points out. Her hands were shaking, knowing that the pool she’s stepping in might be deeper than it seems and she might not know how to swim to the shore but she needed to start somewhere. She needs to save their relationship somehow.

James’ brows furrow, a slight sign of disagreement, “Not really. Our rounds just happened to be scheduled together a lot this month.”

“Well, you also cancelled our study date last week for her.”

“Yeah, that’s because she needed my help with Divination.”

A rude laughter escapes her, “You’re the worst from our House in Divination, James. She doesn’t need your help.”

“Where are you going with this?” He finally snaps, turning to face her with evident annoyance in his eyes “I thought you would be happy with me finally trying to fix my grades.”

“I am. I just didn’t realise that needed to be done by increasing the amount of time you share with your ex-crush.”

“Oh, so you’re jealous?”

She was quiet now. Sure it was jealousy that plagued her mind the first time he began drifting away but these days, these days she’s only been insecure and worried for their sinking ship. Anxiety over the chance of her being replaced by someone who has always had his heart has been haunting her nights. As gracious and angelic Lily Evans is, she couldn’t help but to see her as some villain who might steal him away.

“You’re being paranoid, again.” James scoffs, turning completely blind and deaf to her silent agony “There’s nothing going on between me and Lily. I’m trying to fix my grades for me. She just happens to be a great teacher and companion to help me study.”

She's still quiet, weighing if she should believe his words.

"Please, I don't want to fight," James sighs, dropping the fork on his hand and taking hers to show his sincerity "She's just a friend, I promise."

There was truly nothing left for her to say that wouldn’t act as petrol to their burning bridge. James wasn’t listening. For a while now he hasn’t truly cared about a word she’s said and it was painful to finally understand this. That he might never have been as sincere as she thought him to be. Or perhaps he did, once, yet that feeling has died a long time ago with no chance of revival. His feelings for her have withered, faded into nothingness.

And it’s only a matter of time before the flame in her heart dies too.

—-

It was a nasty fall.

She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this much worry and cried so much from something Madam Promfrey claims as ‘nothing but a light nudge on the head’, but she was there when the bludger hit his head. She was there when James began losing balance of his broom and falling to the hard ground. She was there when the team crowd around their passed out captain.

Her eyes were getting heavy now. The watch on her wrist has shown that she has skipped dinner a few hours ago. Some of the lights on the hospital wing have been turned off, making the hall darker as night falls deeper. If it wasn’t for the boys coming to visit James half an hour ago, she would be left starving and secretly creeped out by the eerie feeling of the infirmary.

“You should get some rest, Love, you’ve been waiting here for hours.” Remus advises, giving her shoulder a slight squeeze.

“He should be up anytime soon, now,” She reasoned as she looked up to see the tall boy “I want to be there when he wakes up.”

“Trust me, Dove, knowing Prongs, he might just sleep in till tomorrow,” Sirius added “Besides, you won’t miss a thing. He’ll still be the same obnoxious Potter tomorrow morning.”

A small curl of smile tugs on her lips.

“Come on, I’ll walk you back to your dorm.” Peter offers this time.

“You don’t have to, Wormy. I’m fine—”

“Dove, please,” Sirius begs “You look awful. And I mean this in the most endearing way but you could really use a bath.”

“Thank you, Pads,” She rolls her eyes, finally standing from her seat and glaring at the raven haired boy “Your honesty is always something I could count on, even in the darkest time.”

Sirius grins, nodding, “I am a man of honour.”

“Let me know if anything happens? If he wakes up?”

“We will,” Remus reassures “Goodnight, Love.”

With a last bid of hug and ignoring the still awful churning feeling in her gut, she links arm with Peter and walks out of the hospital wing. It’s been hours since she’s waited for her boyfriend to wake up from his sleep and the fatigue plaguing her body has only been recognised as she takes further steps away from the infirmary. Perhaps the worry has amplified the soreness of her muscles. It’s never an easy life dating the Captain of Gryffindor team.

She hates to admit it, but she might really need that bath Sirius was talking about.

And just when they were about to exit the tower, her brain reminded her of her left satchel, “Shoot, I forgot something.” She groans, letting out a frustrated sigh “Give me ten minutes?”

“Is it that important?” Peter asks “We can just bring it to you later.”

“I’ll be quick, I promise. I have to finish my paper for the first period tomorrow, I need to get my satchel.”

Peter only nods at her as she begins running back to the ward. Truth be told, she’s finished the paper as she waited for James earlier. Leaving her satchel was completely by accident and she could’ve just continued walking back to her dormitory and ask the boys to bring it to her later, but why would she pass up a chance to see her boyfriend one last time?

“So did she come?”

A smile blooms on her face as she hears James’ voice echoes faintly. He’s up.

“Of course she did, she waited for you for hours.” Sirius answers “She’s your girlfriend, Prongs, she never left.”

“Oh,” James answered, the disappointment dripping from his tone slows down her steps “I was asking about Lily, actually.”

There was a pause. She could see Sirius and Remus exchanging a glance from behind their backs. If it wasn’t for the curtain blocking James’ view, he would’ve seen her coming.

“So did she come?” James asks again.

“No, Prongs. Why would she come?” Remus asks, his tone slightly rising in annoyance.

“I don’t know,” James answers “I thought we were getting closer. I just figured she’d want to check on me.”

“Well, she didn’t,” Sirius says this time, the same level of irritation evident in his tone “Why are you even thinking of her? You have a brilliant girlfriend who cares for you. Who literally spent hours sitting on that awful chair, worried about your bonked head, and the first thing you asked about when you woke up was Lily?”

“It was just a question, Pads. No need to get all worked up on me.”

“Well, your question is rubbish, Prongs.”

“Why are you—”

“Hey guys,” She says, finally showing herself from behind the curtain “Sorry, I left my satchel. Oh, hello James, you finally woke up.”

She could see the surprise on James’ eyes that he quickly blinked away with a sweet smile, “Hello, Darling.”

“I’m glad you’re up. Are you feeling okay?”

“Still dizzy, but I’ll live.” He says warmly “Will you stay with me tonight?”

“Uh, no, I need to finish my papers.” She says instead, fighting the loud ringing in her ears from the heartache “Besides, you need all the rest you could get. I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

“But you wouldn’t—”

“I really need to go. Peter is waiting for me,” She cuts in “Good night, James.”

She glances at Remus and Sirius for a brief moment. Staring at them for too long would make all the dam she’s trying to uphold break lose and the last thing she’d want to do tonight would be to cry in front of James. No, she would not give him that satisfaction. It is one thing to deny and avoid all of her questions and another to actually dismiss her presence. Perhaps it's time for her to accept that the heart James wears on his sleeve was never hers to begin with.

As she walks out of the infirmary for the second time tonight, she could hear Sirius’ curse faintly, “You’ve lost her for good now, Prongs.”

[footballerimaginess]

Studying

30 Day Writing Challenge 19. Studying Jude Bellingham Word Count: 338 You were sat in the kitchen at the table with what could only be described as a million books in front of you. You were in your last few months of your university course finishing, you had started it in England and ending it in Spain which is something you weren't expecting at all.

"You okay?" Jude asked you as he walked in as he made you jump. "Jude, don't do that" you clutched your chest as you wasn't expecting him to walk in. "Sorry" Jude laughed as he stood opposite you. "That's fine, you okay? did you need anything?" you asked him as he stood next to the table looking at all your books and papers around you. "I was just wondering if you were okay and if you needed anything?" Jude asked as you nodded. "I would like a glass of cold water please, I am okay. Just wanting this to all end now I feel like this has gone on for too long now" you sighed as he walked across the kitchen as he grabbed you a glass of water. "It will be all over soon, then you'll be finally free from all your essays as well as exams." Jude passed you the glass. "Thank you, yeah hopefully I can get it passed. I have worked so so hard on this" you told him as he pulled out the chair opposite you as he closely observed you. "You will do amazing and I know you will, you are so close to finishing this essay and what you have one exam left?" he questioned. "Yes only one exam and I have revised so much that my brain is not letting any of this information escape. I will take a break for a few hours to get food and hopefully get some fresh air" you suggested as you knew you needed it. "Sure that sounds good" Jude smiled, walking round the kitchen table as he massaged your shoulders which was in desperate need of having a massage.

[blue-jisungs]

silent hug

author's note. this is veeeery self indulgent bc my exams r killing me so yeah 👍

genre. hurt to comfort (i think?), classmates to friends ??? idk man just whipped n cute sunoo

summary. in which your classmate comforts you when you tear up in class :(

warnings. cursing, reader is in a bad place mentally,, kinda hinting to academic burnout? ,, crying :( + not proofread, sorry!!

word count. 1286

with a heavy sigh you plopped down on the chair, putting your bag on the desk. the walk from the bus stop to the university tired you out but at least you got four or five minutes before the classes started. so you rested your head against the bag and closed your eyes, taking in a little more sleep than you could get this morning.

the final season is coming to an end, finally. but weirdly enough, you don’t feel relieved. sure, there’s only three or four exams left – and you haven’t really studied for them but that’s a thing to do the day before, isn’t it? – but you can’t help but feel the exhaustion. your friends chat about how there’s less things to take then it was at the beginning, sure. but the closer you get to the midterm break, the less motivation you have. and the tiredness that accumulated throughout the whole month is seeking its way out.

which is why you’re a mess nowadays. promising yourself to study but ending up doing everything but studying, falling asleep at ungodly hours (and regretting it later)… or shutting yourself down from the world. your friends got used to it, everyone has their lives after classes after all. but you carry on with do not disturb on most of the time, missing out their conversations on chats and tiktoks they’ve sent you. sure, you could’ve read them later – but there’s a sinking feeling of guilt (and a dazzle of overthinking) that you’re such a shitty friend.

all of this causes your negative emotions to bottle up. and you know it’s not a good thing, especially when you feel like you’re about to cry when a minor inconvenience occurs. but you’re stronger than that, no? the thought of locking yourself in your room during the break keeps you alive, pushing the sadness – seemingly – away.

a sudden tap on your shoulder caused you to open your eyes and lazily shift your focus to your classmate, sunoo. you looked around and didn’t see your friends… well, they probably skipped the classes since some of them are careless just like that.

"it’s about to start" sunoo smiled gently and you noticed the way his ebony gaze lingered on you for a while longer. great, you should’ve put at least some foundation.

"thanks" you nodded and took out your ipad, the other hand rubbing your eye. here we go…

"i feel like… some people in this class don’t take my lessons seriously" the professor started and you froze, heart skipping a beat. he couldn’t possibly mean you, right? “the final exam is around the corner and some of you… did not too well on the quiz"

oh, well. it’s definitely aimed at you.

"i’ll hand them out at the end of the class and then run over your mistakes. now we’ll do a revision. and you better listen" the man says and you could swear his piercing gaze is drilling into your soul.

an unpleasant feeling of warmth creeped into your face and once again you curse yourself for not putting any makeup. sunoo glanced at you, a sad smile on his lips.

the professor approached you at the end, when all of the students already left. putting the paper sheet with a nasty P– on it, you frowned. hey, you passed!

"y/n, i’m really disappointed. i don’t know what’s going on but that’s the worst work of yours so far. pull yourself together. there’s so many major mistakes… spellings… it’s not an academic level. you were one point away from not passing this one" his words hit a cord in your heart, your palms beginning to sweat. he patted the paper and returned to his desk, grabbing his stuff.

and you didn’t even know when that happened – your sweaty palms shaking, breath getting stuck in your throat, vision blurry because of tears.

you packed your things and wanted to leave but your legs felt too weak. your professor left, causing you to end up all alone in the room.

you sniffed, trying to wipe out the tears but they seemed to have other plans.

"don’t cry, idiot. it’s fucking embarrassing" you breathed out to yourself, voice barely above a whisper.

"y/n, if you want… oh. are you okay?"

you would normally look up to see who that was but the realization of someone even seeing you in such state caused your face to redden even more. pulling your t-shirt up to hide your face in it, you felt like there was no way out: you couldn’t possibly stop crying. it was like your professor’s words triggered something.

"i’m… hey, it’s okay. did he say anything bad to you? or do?" someone approached you and you shook your head as a no. "can i stay here?"

you hesitantly peeled from your shirt and noticed sunoo. his gaze softened upon seeing your teary eyes, lashes wet and flushed face.

"just… don’t mind me" you mumbled and hid your face in your shirt again. you just couldn’t stand someone seeing you in such state, whether it was someone close or a stranger.

"i… i don’t know what he said but i’ve noticed that there’s something going on with you. and may have heard what your friends said... do you want to talk about it?" sunoo asked gently and all he could hear were the harsh sobs leaving your lips.

"they talk about me behind my back?" you whined, your shoulders shaking even more. his eyes widened. that was not the best thing to say…

"no, no! i mean they said you look really tired lately…" he explained hastily and suddenly you looked up. your shirt was soaked with tears and your face was a mess, your pupils blown and wet stains on your cheeks.

"i’m so tired, sunoo. i don’t think i can handle this anymore… and everyone seems to be doing great… just not me…" you mumbled, sending him a sad smile. the pearly tears balanced at the edge of your waterline, ready to spill. he shook his head.

"you’ve got this, i know you do. you got here somehow in the first place, no? if you want, i can help you. with anything. i’m not the smartest but i do understand some things so…" he stopped talking upon seeing your curious gaze.

"why are you doing this?” you asked, sniffling.

"i just… you’re my classmate in a need of help. i couldn’t stand there and not do anything when i heard you cry. and now there’s no way out, isn’t it?" sunoo joked and his face lit up. oh, this boy was a literal sunshine.

"you said everything?" you mumbled, unsurely. he nodded, a caring smile tugging on his lips "can… hmpfh… can i hug you…?"

the words were so quiet, sunoo barely heard them. but he noticed the begging look in your eyes and who was he to deny? it’s not like he would mind, either.

sunoo just opened your arms and you hugged him tightly, wrapping your arms around his waist. he patted your back soothingly, letting you let out all of your pent up stress.

a part of sunoo’s heart raced because he wouldn’t have ever imagined that he would hug his hallway crush. the other part which caused his heart to race was the embrace itself, your smell and you in general – and he was happy he could help you.

neither of you didn’t have to talk right now. a silent hug that expressed more than a sentences could ever. and both of you knew, sitting here glued to each other and in comfortable silence, that it was a beginning of a beautiful friendship.

masterlist <3

taglist. @primoppang ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ocean-minho ,, @s-e-s-a-l-e-n-e ,, @eternalgyu ,, @haecien

[bgomtori]

☆ consume - c.bg

synopsis - you have a major exam coming up, after realising that you've been neglecting your health, beomgyu decides to step in.

-> beomgyu x reader

-> established relationship, high school au!

-> warnings! yn kinda starves herself and beats herself up for not remembering anything :( , pressure from studies, mental breakdowns and burnouts. yn is kind off a studies>you typa girl.

-> note! im having a big exam coming up soon, 'm extremely anxious.. so i kinda wanna write this to relieve somw stress :)

pressure, high standards, academic validation, from your parents, teachers and even yourself were taking a toll on you. staying coped up in your room for weeks, drowning yourself in revision notes, study guides, and past year papers. one may think that you were insane for being able to sit by your desk for such long hours, you thought the same too, but anything for your parents to tell you that they were proud of your achievements, anything to make yourself satisfied with yourself.

hours of cramming notes, and self study was definitely not easy. you'd often find yourself placing your phone under your pillow, preventing yourself from getting distracted by any notification from your friends or boyfriend. it wasn't any better, you'd often skip meals, your parents were usually out till late into the night, making it easier for you since no one forced you out of the room to eat. of course you'd take showers, make yourself refreshed before continuing your long study sessions, snacking on a few energy bars and drinks to pull all nighters to finish a chapter or subject. it was definitely not healthy, but this was like a routine for you when the year end exams were nearing.

you wouldn't be surprised if you arrived at school to see a panicked beomgyu standing by your lockers, glancing at his phone every now and then, wondering why you haven't replied to his calls or texts, he had a brief idea why, but he needed confirmation. you greeted him as per usual, your signature bright smile appearing on your lips, yet why does your eyes still look so tired? beomgyu's face was perplexed, were you staying up again.

"why haven't you replied my messages or calls yn?" beomgyu raised his eyebrows, you looked at him in confusion, switching on your phone to see 38 messages and 7 missed calls from beomgyu. you chuckled, wiping your sweaty palms against your shirt.

"i kinda turned off my phone, and placed it under my pillow so i wouldn't get distracted.. sorry." you apologised, feeling guilty, all beomgyu did was want to care for you, yet you're placing your studies over him. beomgyu sighed, combing his hair through his slender fingers, "i'm just worried for you yn.." his pout made you giggle, your hand patting beomgyu's squishy cheeks in reassurance, "i'll be alright."

"oh right, i'm staying back after school, one on one session with my teacher so you don't need to wait for me 'kay?" you informed, interlocking your arm to beomgyu's as you walked down the crowded hallway. beomgyu hummed in response to you, giving you a chaste kiss on your lips. "i'll see you in your classroom later." beomgyu bidded you goodbye, leaving you to make your way to your seat. scrolling on your phone, you read the messages your friends sent you, replying to all of them, apologising for worrying them so much.

"yn!" hanni called out, dragging a seat towards your desk, the scratchy sound against the floor tiles made you flinch in disgust. "what is it hanni." you replied, freezing at the sudden physical contact of her hugging you like a koala.

"you're not burning the midnight oil again right." hanni grumbled, removing herself from your shoulders. you shook your head, in hopes that she'd believe you. "lies! i know you all too well yn, this month is where you constantly shove your face in textbooks and study guides!" hanni basically shouted for the whole class to hear. you had to quickly shut her up by cupping your hand around her mouth.

"fine, you got me, but it's not like i'll die.." you whispered out the last part, making her gasp dramatically. you shushed her again, placing your index finger on your lips. "you need to take care of yourself yn, i don't want to see a repeat of last year ever again!" hanni nagged, similar to your mother, folding her arms as well. you felt yourself laugh nervously, you knew that you were slowly crawling back into the dark hole that you always find yourself in whenever the final exam season was soon.

classes went by slowly, you found yourself zoning out, bopping your head due to fatigue, you should have bought an energy drink during lunch earlier. after what seemed like hours, you last class was over, students from your class immediately left once the teacher dismissed them, you stayed put, waiting for everyone to leave while you slowly walked towards your teacher.

"sorry for troubling you ms lee.. but i really want to do well this year." you bowed, taking a seat infront of her. she shook her head, "you're fine yn, i can see that you're putting in the effort, that's what i'm proud of." you felt yourself grow speechless, the few words that you've been wanting to hear from your parents came out of your teacher's mouth instead. you didn't know what to do or say, you gave her a quick smile before you two started your little tutoring session.

"you're doing just fine my dear, you'll do just as well for the upcoming end-of-years." ms lee patted your shoulder, ushering you towards the classroom door. you bowed, bidding her goodbye. a sudden wave of negative thoughts started crashing over you, why? you didn't want to grow attached to a teacher that gave you the care and concern your parents should have given, along with the thoughts of you wanting to do extremely well for ms lee, for yourself, and even your parents even if it did nothing. you just didn't want anyone to be disappointed in you. you plugged in your earphones to cancel out your overpowering thoughts, blasting your shared playlist with beomgyu.

ynn ★: i just ended, going home rn..

ynn ★: wyd?

gyu :> : taking a break from revision, kinda lazy today

gyu :> : it's getting late, go home safely mkay? i love you

ynn ★: i love you too gyu :)

he was so sweet to you, you didn't deserve this especially how you were treating him. you prioritised your studies over him, hence not giving him the same amount of attention. you unlocked your front door, immediately heading into your room to start work. you showered, did your facial routine, and turned on your nightlamp. your table was messy, filled with all, notebooks, textbooks, loose practice papers, and stationary. you groaned, you weren't feeling like it, but you couldn't stop. you knew that you'd regret it.

each word you wrote looked like scribbles, you spelt things wrong. why wasn't anything going your way right now? why is your mind going haywire, was it because of earlier? tears pricked your eyes, you couldn't do this anymore, you felt overwhelmed from everything, mentally exhausted in general. you slapped your face, in hopes that you'd stop crying but it continued, you were breaking down, losing complete control of your feelings. first time after a year, sure you've cried many times this year, and past years, however, this felt like your worst one yet.

you quickly picked up your phone, you wanted beomgyu, you needed him to console you. hitting the call button, your fingers were trembling, soft pleas coming out of your mouth for him to hurry up.

"yn?" his voice called out, it was rare for you to call him so suddenly. you sniffled, bringing your phone's mic towards your lips, "please, come over.. you have my keys, just come please gyu." you stuttered, unable to speak properly due to how dry your throat was. you could hear from beomgyu's end how frantic he was, him grabbing his keys to dashing out of his house. "i'll be there in 3, please wait yn." you hummed, ending the call. you replied beomgyu's messages, his attempt to keep you distracted, but your thoughts were too overpowering, you continued sobbing, your fingers digging into your thighs, scratching them from time to time.

"yn." beomgyu whispered, closing your bedroom door, locking it just in case your parents suddenly came home, and saw you in this state. you hiccuped, turning towards him, beomgyu looked at you with concern, this was the first time he has seen you like this after a long time. he gave you his hoodie that he knew gave you comfort, before pulling you into a tight embrace. you continued crying on his shoulder, probably making a wet mess on his shirt right now, but beomgyu didn't care. beomgyu's fingers rubbed the back of your head, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

"you're okay now yn, it's alright. let it all out." beomgyu mumbled, his soothing, calming voice, making you feel less like shit. you felt yourself slowly easing up, pulling away from beomgyu's comfortable shoulder. beomgyu took a piece of tissue from the box at the corner of your desk, blowing your nose for you, his thumb wiping away the single tear falling from your face.

"let's lay in bed, i'll make you some instant ramen alright?" beomgyu rubbed your cheek, before aidding you towards your bed, he made sure that you were comfortable before he went to your kitchen to prepare some samyang, your favourite. you laid there on your bed, scrolling on your phone, still suffering with a stuffed nose, but you could smell beomgyu's scent on the hoodie he gave you, consoling your thoughts.

the aroma of the spicy carbonara samyang filled your nostrils, making you sit up. you grabbed the bowl beomgyu passed to you, slurping it up to your heart's content. "nice?" beomgyu asked, sitting on the edge of your bed, his head propped his head onto the palm of his hand, watching you with gentle eyes. you nodded your head, chewing on the cheesy noodles. you twirled the noodles around the chopsticks, tilting them towards beomgyu, wanting him to eat them. beomgyu took a big bite, savouring the creamy, spicy sensation of the noodles.

"i think i should be a chef." beomgyu joked, trying to make you feel better. you giggled, placing the empty bowl on the nightstand next to your bed. you signalled beomgyu to lay next to you, wanting to cuddle with him in bed. beomgyu obliged, allowing you to nuzzle into the crook of his neck, the vibration of his humming, made you feel relaxed. your body was practically on top of beomgyu, while you cling onto him like your life depended on it. you looked up to stare at beomgyu, through your fluttering eyelashes, giving his jaw a chaste kiss.

"hm?" beomgyu hummed, using his free hand to stroke your soft hair, you pouted slightly, still snifflinf a little from your breakdown. your fingers laced around his as he used his thumb to rub your knuckles gently, assuring your that everything is in control now.

"i love you beom." you muttered, loud enough for him to hear, "i'm sorry for suddenly worrying you, i don't know, my first instinct was to call you." you rambled, apologising for being such a burden to him, you felt tears slowly welling up in your eyes again. you said whatever concerned was distracting you, letting out a few tears.

"it's just so tiring to try to make everyone around me proud of me when no one even cares, not even my parents. at this point i'm doing it for myself, for my own validation, but i can't see any improvement, or just something that i can take pride in." you choked out, full on ranting to beomgyu while he stayed quiet, rubbing your hand in small circular motions. his eyes stayed on your figure, making sure that you know he's listening to you with all ears.

"i'm sorry if i'm ever a bad girlfriend to you, you give me so much attention, love, and care, but i can't seem to reciprocrate it, i love you so much, but i don't know how to prove that to you.. i'm afraid that'll you'll leave me for someone better, someone that'll shower you with affection." you apologised, reasoning yourself. beomgyu's eyebrows were knitted together, how could you say that? you were the best thing that happened in his life.

"yn, you know i don't care if you don't provide me the same amount of adoration or anything, as long as i know that you're okay, and that you're still here to stay by my side. then that's all i ask for. i'm honest." beomgyu carressed your cheek, while your lips trembled, your eyes glossy, blinking back the tears threathening to fall out. beomgyu's plump lips curled up, pecking your lips.

"just don't overwork yourself, i hate seeing you like this, you make me worried." beomgyu warned, you slightly chuckled, "i'll try to improve myself for you gyu." reassuring him.

[ace-touya]

Class 1-A PowerPoint Night

A PowerPoint night is when a friend group all make PowerPoints on random topics and present them to each other in case anyone doesn’t know. This is what I think all of class 1-A would do.

Yuga Aoyama makes a PowerPoint explaining french slang terms that he thinks the entire class should start using

Mina Ashido makes a PowerPoint rating everyone’s families. Points are awarded based on presence of both parents, how well each student gets on with their parents, whether they have siblings (younger siblings get less points than older ones) and how much she personally likes their family members.

Tenya Iida makes a PowerPoint on how to revise for their upcoming exam, complete with diagrams and information about the psychology of learning. The class feel like they’re in a lecture.

Tsuyu Asui makes a PowerPoint where she turns things the class has said into Pinterest-style inspirational quotes and they have to try and guess who said what.

Ochaco Uraraka makes a PowerPoint on tips to save money, because you cant tell me some of the people in this class buy useless things they either lose, forget about, or have no idea what to do with.

Mashirao Ojiro makes a PowerPoint of things he does not understand. It features things such as the existence of languages, barcodes, and credit cards.

Denki Kaminari makes a PowerPoint called ‘Crying Wrapped’, which details the reasons he has cried over the least year, which months he cried the most and the least in, and rates his top 5 cries with little explanation

Eijiro Kirishima makes a PowerPoint called ‘things I’ve seen at the gym that just make sense’. Some of them have pictures to go along with them, and Ochaco and Katsuki nod along and say ‘I remember that’ to every other slide.

Koji Koda made a PowerPoint on why Aizawa should let them have a class pet. The PowerPoint actually had good reasoning so they emailed it to Aizawa, who only responded ‘no.’ And did not elaborate.

Rikido Sato makes a PowerPoint assigning each classmate a type of cake. He lists the reasons, the ingredients, and has a nice message for each member of the class on the slide with their cake

Mezo Shoji makes a PowerPoint about how Tokoyami is Not Real. Enough said.

Kyouka Jiro makes a PowerPoint detailing the soundtrack she would put together if their life was a movie, complete with photos and video clips of stuff they’ve done to go along with each moment she assigns a song to.

Hanta Sero makes a PowerPoint called ‘Canada is not real’, and it lists all the reasons why he believes Canada is made up. Shoto is nodding along and finds it very thought-provoking

Fumikage Tokoyami makes a PowerPoint analysing everyone’s entire zodiac charts. Kirishima is shocked to find out there’s more than just the sun sign. They also give everyone their horoscopes for the next month.

Shoto Todoroki makes a PowerPoint on conspiracy theories that he actually believes. They’re all completely insane but he does end up convincing some members of the class by the end.

Toru Hagakure makes a PowerPoint on Disney Men and whether or not she would trust them with her drink with little to no explanation. All the girls agree with her ratings.

Katsuki Bakugo makes a PowerPoint rating each of the barbie movies based on whether or not he could beat the protagonist in a fight. The class is shocked to find out that Katsuki does believe he would lose to some of the barbies.

Izuku Midoryia makes a PowerPoint analysing the class’s fighting techniques and their strengths and weaknesses as heroes, using all the notes he’s written about each of them in his notebooks. Additionally, he assigns everyone in the class a current pro hero that they’re most similar to.

Minoru Mineta makes a PowerPoint rating the girls in every class of their year group and is not allowed to present it.

Momo Yaoyorozu makes a PowerPoint assigning each classmate a different kind of tea, complete with the benefits of each flavour and why she would give it to them. She also includes the prices and the best places to buy them.

[starrgaziinggg]

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS | lee minho

PART EIGHT

You finally meet the man your friends Felix and Hyunjin have been blabbing about for the past couple months, and he's a royal pain in the ass.

Lee Minho is a legacy at your university. He received an honorary award when he graduated, got a position as a dancer in a company a week after receiving his diploma...and was renowned as the schools famous ice-cold fuckboy.

After coming back from a three month tour, you're introduced to him through your uni friends...and your life does a 180. It's hard enough to pass classes whilst also trying to navigate your failing relationship...but the added tension that comes with the dance prodigy you seem to be spending more and more time with?

Some would say it's too much to handle.

|Non idol AU|university AU|friends to lovers|

part eight

Everybody knows January is always the slowest month of the year. The year end always passes by in a blur, the days seemingly non existent until new year hits and suddenly it's as though time has slowed down. The days stretch, and January is a long, cold, gruelling month.

That's exactly how your January went. You'd stayed with your family over Christmas and new year, letting the boys invite of spending new year with them be turned down. They understood that you hadn't seen your family since the start of the semester, and wanted to spend as much time as possible with your parents and grandmother until you had to return back to Seoul for the start of the semester.

The only good parts about the start of second semester was that you enjoyed your class rotation, one of your end of school year exams was a group project that ran throughout the course of the whole semester so you got to pair up with Hyunjin and Felix, and you ended up passing all your exams with flying colours.

Of course you, Hyunjin and Felix had gone out to celebrate, bringing the rest of the boys, who had also passed their exams (even Changbin, which was miraculous since he barely attended his classes and did next to no revision) and Chan tagged along too. The only one who wasn't there was Minho, for obvious reasons.

You hadn't spoken to him at all since he'd left. He hadn't made any effort to reach out to you, so you reciprocated the action. It wasn't as though you had much to talk about over the phone, anyway. You'd said what you needed to say when you'd seen him last, and that was that.

After the events of last semester, your life almost started to feel boring, monotonous. It was the same schedule daily; go to classes with Hyun and Lix, come back to the dorms and either watch tv with Seungmin or wait for him to get back from baseball practice and make him spend time with you then.

He knew you were bummed about the whole situation, and although he'd refrained from saying, 'I told you so', you could tell he wanted to knock some sense into you. He'd said from the start that your friends with benefits situation with Minho wasn't good for you, since he could see your feelings for him a mile off. He knew you too well, you'd decided.

Despite this, he'd been a great friend to you after your return to your dorm the first week of January. He played mario kart with you whenever you asked, still cooked you most of your meals, and let you vent about how much you missed Minho. He was probably sick of hearing it, but he never showed.

Hyunjin, although you'd seen him multiple times since you'd been back home, had been kind of distant with you. He hadn't really been his usual clingy, excitable self, though you had no idea why. You didn't blame him for the misunderstanding because you knew how rumours spread - one piece of stray information gets misconstrued and ends up a whole different thing entirely.

You hadn't spoken to him about it much, other than just explaining that he was wrong about the whole thing, and you were starting to think he was more upset about the whole situation than you initially thought. It was due to this that when Hyunjin messaged you, a message very similar to the one you'd received that had started this whole thing, you'd agreed to meet him at the coffee shop for a chat.

The early January air seemed impossibly colder than that of December, so you were pleased to escape the freezing chill of the outdoors as the bell chimed in the coffee shop, signalling your arrival. The best part about the coffee shop you spent most of your time in was that it was less than a five minute walk away from your dorm - and, obviously, that Jeongin worked there. He gives you a wave and a smile from behind the counter, before letting his eyes dash to an obviously stressed Hyunjin sitting in the booth, and back to you.

You shrug at him, unable to do much more, as you walk up to your booth and place a hand on Hyunjin's shoulder to notify him of your presence, since he was sitting in the chair facing away from the door. He practically jolts out his skin when he feels your presence, standing up awkwardly. He moves to hug you without thinking twice, and you'd be lying if you said you hadn't missed his embrace, and him acting fine with you in general.

It's strange for a second as you slide into the booth silently, waiting for Hyunjin to start speaking. After he doesn't make a move to start, fiddling with his fingers instead, you go to talk - just as he begins to speak, which make you both laugh nervously.

"You go," you say, mostly because you weren't actually sure what you were going to say to him in the first place. He takes a deep breath before he begins talking.

"I'm sorry, I'm just getting this massive wave of deja vu and it's making me all wonky," he whines, and paired with the puppy dog look he has on his face, you can't help but to chuckle at him.

"I know, me too," you say honestly. "But whatever you need to tell me, it's alright."

He uses your encourage words and takes them in his stride, pushing on with what he wanted to tell you. "I don't know if you know, but Minho hasn't talked to me since he left. Well, until yesterday."

You did not know this. You had thought Minho's radio silence was reserved only for you; subject to your terms of his leaving for two months.

"Had he been talking to the other guys?" You ask, and he nods, frowning. He pulls the strings of his puffer jacket.

"Yeah, so I figured he was annoyed at me for telling you, you know," he says, tilting his head. You knew. "But he called me last night, saying that Seungmin forced him to call me and sort things out."

You nod this time, knowing Seungmin hated it when his friends fought and although he always put up a demeanour as though he couldn't care less, he was always the one to try and make his friends make up after an argument.

"He was practically screaming down the phone at first, and I understood why after he explained everything to me."

You tilt your head. "Explained what?"

"About how he's practically in love with you," he says instantly, widening his eyes afterwords and covering his mouth with his hands. "Fuck, he specifically told me not to tell you that. See, this is why I keep messing things up so much!"

"It's fine, Hyun," you say sincerely. "I won't say anything. Did he actually tell you that?"

Hyunjin nods slowly. "Yeah, those exact words, amidst some shouting about how I'm a terrible friend."

You can tell he's genuinely upset about whatever Minho had told him, so you go to hold his hand, choosing to focus on comforting your friend over focusing on the revelation. He squeezes yours as soon as you make contact.

"He didn't mean that, Hyunjin. He was just angry," you say, knowing that Minho would regret everything he said to Hyunjin as soon as he'd calmed down. "You're not a terrible friend, you just got things wrong."

"I guess," Hyunjin replies, deflated. "But I still have a lot of apologies to make, and I wanted to do them in person, starting with you. Since Minho isn't back for another three weeks, obviously."

He sighs, looking at your intertwined hands before talking again. "I'm so, so sorry for not being supportive of you and Minho. He was right - he's supposed to be one of my closest, longest friends, and I had absolutely no faith in him. Even after he told me that he felt different about you right at the start, I didn't believe him."

You screw your face up at him, and he almost bangs his head off the table. "Oh my fucking god, I need to shut up, seriously."

"What do you mean he told you right at the start he felt differently about me?"

"I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Jesus, I'm turning into Felix telling all these secrets."

"Hyunjin," you say warningly, and he throws his hands up in the air in defence.

"Okay, okay. You remember that night, when we went clubbing after you and Doha broke up, and me and Minho talked pretty much the whole time we were having drinks in your dorm?" You nod your head in response. "It was then. He basically said he thought there was something special about you, and if anything was ever going to happen between you both he didn't want it to just be some meaningless fling."

You have to force your jaw to stay in place at Hyunjin's revelation. This kind of changed everything, since you knew now how serious Minho was about actually being with you. He'd known it from the start, even going as far as to tell Hyunjin about it.

"But please, please forget I told you that - this is all, fuck, I just need to shut up," Hyunjin rushes out. "Anyway, I just wanted to say how sorry I am about...well, everything. I was horrible to you about your ex, and even though he was a dickhead, I should have been nicer about the whole thing. And then, when you started seeing Minho and I was so judgmental about that too..."

He trails off, and when you look at him properly you realise he's tearing up. He looks down at his lap, sniffling, and your heart genuinely breaks in two. Without a second thought, you stand up and move to his side of the table, wrapping your arms around him. You weren't much of a hugger, but you knew when your friends needed comforting.

Hyunjin responds instantly, letting you hug him and wrapping his arms around your waist. "God, I don't even know why I'm crying."

"It's okay, Hyun," you chuckle, starting to feel emotional yourself. You hated seeing your friends upset (every time Felix so much as drunk cried, your heart shattered), so seeing Hyunjin cry because he felt bad about how he'd treated you was awful.

When you finally pull away from him, he wipes his eyes with his jacket sleeve, running both hands through his long blonde hair as if to sort himself out.

"Jesus, this is not how I wanted this conversation to go," he laughs slightly, revealing his dimples as he shakes his head. "But we're okay, right?"

"Of course we're okay!" You say in disbelief. You'd never had someone care so much about your friendship as to be this worried about it before. As much as you hated seeing Hyun so emotional, it was almost heartwarming to know how much he truly cared for you. "You didn't do anything you did out of spite, you only did it cause you were looking out for me."

He hums, nodding, giving you a lopsided smile. "I think one of the reasons I'm so protective over you is because you're an only child, too. We never had siblings to look out for us, we just had to figure things out for ourselves, and sometimes I feel like you're the little sister I never had. Especially with boys."

He adds the last part in a comedic tone, but it doesn't stop your eyes brimming. You know exactly what he means, and it pulls at your heartstrings. Just before your about to get all sentimental, though, Jeongin dumps his apron on the table and places an extra fancy hot chocolate in front of you, sliding into the booth next to you.

"So, I'm on my break - are you two done with your soppy lovey moment?" He says cheekily, so you roll your eyes at him and give his shoulder a nudge.

"Yes, we're done idiot," Hyunjin replies, distaste in his tone. "Why does she get a free drink and I don't?"

"Because I like her more than I like you," Jeongin says plainly, shrugging. "Now, tell me more about this secret birthday party I'm not supposed to know about."

You spend the next couple hours drinking hot chocolate (you swore Jeongin made the best in the world) and trying to avoid the topic of Jeongin's secret birthday party, which actually was very real and apparently not very secret. You'd all been planning it for months, since he was turning twenty one - a special birthday. All of you had done your best not to tell Jeongin about what was going on, but once Felix knew, he couldn't keep his mouth shut, and Jeongin caught on pretty quickly.

You'd just returned from the shops one night a week later, out to buy your joint present with Seungmin for Jeongin (a pair of shoes you knew he had his eyes on), when you were faced with someone you honestly did not expect to ever talk to again.

As you pushed open the main door of your dorm, balancing a shopping bag, a shoe box and a birthday banner in one hand and your keys in the other, you called out for Seungmin to come and help you carry your things inside. You'd realised something was up when he emerged looking distressed, giving you a worried look.

"What?" Is all you said, an eyebrow raised as he took the shopping bag from you and you headed through to your room to dump all the things you'd bought for Jeongin's party.

"Um," Seungmin started nervously, moving in your way to block your bedroom door. "Firstly, I tried my best to stop her and secondly, please don't scream at me. Or kill me."

You're utterly confused until you push your bedroom door open and Sooyun is sitting on your bed, on her phone. She looks up at you. Your eyes widen as you slowly turn to Seungmin.

"You're a dead man," you say quietly, dumping everything you were holding on the floor and turning to throttle him. He ducks out of your reach.

"Please don't!" Sooyun speaks up, the sound of her voice more than jarring. "It's not his fault, I demanded he let me in. Literally."

"I never though I'd say this," Seungmin says with a shaky voice, holding your wrists in his hands. "But she's right, I really did try to keep her out but she's scrappy!"

You turn to look at Sooyun, who gives you a nervous smile. "I am pretty scrappy."

With a huff, you turn on your heel to face Seungmin. "If were not done talking in five minutes, I've probably murdered her, and you will need to help me bury the body."

"Fair enough," Seungmin breaths out, saluting you as he slowly backs away. You turn to Sooyun.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm doing good, how are you?" Sooyun starts, rolling her eyes sarcastically and clasping her hands. "I'm loving this warm welcome."

"Get out," is all you reply with, pointing towards your door. She huffs, softening up physically.

"Okay, okay, sorry," she rushes, sighing. "You know I use humour as a coping mechanism."

You don't even say anything, just wait for her to continue with whatever it is she's come here to say. You'd honestly be more than content with never speaking to her again but, alas - life seemed to have other plans.

"I'm sorry," she says, and you can tell she's being sincere. You used to know her inside and out, after all. You move to sit on your bed, the opposite end to Sooyun. "I genuinely, really am. I never intended for you to find out the way you did, and I honestly never intended to go behind your back, either."

"But you did do both of those things," you say, surprisingly calmly.

"I did yes, but in my defence I did try to tell you before you found out," she reasons, and you roll your eyes. "You were brushing me off the whole week before you walked in on me and Doha. I tried to make plans with you so many times to tell you, and you ditched me every time."

"I ditched you because I'd just found out Doha was cheating on me!" You shout, remembering you're in a communal living situation and attempting to lower your voice. "I wanted to figure things out myself. I was planning on dumping Doha and coming to tell you, but that didn't happen."

Sooyun huffs, looking up at the ceiling, and when you take a peek at her you watch tears well up in the corner of her eyes.

"I know," she says softly, surprising you. "I know I'm the worst friend ever, and I don't want to excuse my actions at all. I shouldn't have gone behind your back, and I shouldn't have lied to you about it and - I just..."

She stops, taking a deep breath. "I just want you to know that I am sorry for what I did to you, and I will always be sorry. It's the worst thing I've ever done."

"So why did you do it?"

She waits for a second before speaking again, turning to look at you properly. "I never intended to love him, not at all. He was you're boyfriend, but I'd always kind of had a crush on him. I just put it to the back burner for your sake -"

You scoff. "How kind of you."

She actually chuckles at your interruption, shaking her head before continuing. "But then in summer, we bumped into each other in that coffee shop near my place in Busan, and got to talking. I tried so, so hard to ignore my feelings but when he started reciprocating them...I just couldn't help myself. I know it's terrible, and I don't want or expect you to ever forgive me for what I did."

"So what's the point in telling me all this?" You ask, genuinely wondering why she felt the need to explain herself after all these months.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about you, and then in turn I knew I should at least try and apologise," she says, and you tilt your head. "When I saw you at the Christmas markets, you know, at the skating rink, I realised how much I'd missed you."

"What's that got to do with what you want to tell me?"

"You've been looking miserable around campus recently," she points out, and you know she's right. "You looked ecstatic that day at the ice rink with Minho."

"You know him?"

"Everyone knows Lee Minho, babe," she chuckles. "Well done, by the way."

You shrug, feeling kind of proud.

"But you've not been together recently, and I figured that might have something to do with the fact you've had a face like a slapped ass of recent," she tilts her head questioningly. "And as much as you hate me now, we once told each other everything, and it pains me to see you so upset."

Oh, what the hell. You hated her, sure, but you could use a girls perspective on your current situation. You didn't need to make amends with her and you certainly didn't like her by any means.

"He's working away for two months," you start to explain the basics, not wanting to spare huge details of your life to the girl who stabbed you in the back. "And we left things on a bit of a limbo note. I'm fine, it's just...weird."

You notice the way her eyes light up as you speak to her, not expecting you to open up. "Well, if it's any consolation, you looked really cute together. You were smiling at him in a way I don't think I've ever seen you smile, or be as comfortable as you were with Doha. And I'm not just saying that due to the circumstances."

You can't help but let out a laugh. The whole situation was beyond you at this point, and you had much bigger issues you wanted to deal with. At least this was a step towards all that mental improvement you'd told Minho you'd achieve before he came home.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you," you point out with a straight face, and Sooyun holds her hands up.

"Don't expect you too," she counters. "As long as you take in my apology, and sort out your shit with your man, that's good enough for me."

"Excellent. Now get out," you say, but you're smiling slightly as you say it, and she gives you a small smile back as she stands up. When she opens your door, Seungmin is standing cautiously on the other side.

"Oh thank god," he breaths out, placing a hand on his heart. "I was about to get the gloves and shovel out."

Sooyun chuckles, manoeuvring past Seungmin to stand in your hallway. "I wouldn't have been surprised if you had to. It's what I deserve."

Seungmin turns to you with a raised eyebrow and you shrug in response. "Bye, Sooyun."

"Bye guys," is all she says, turning on her heel and seeing herself out of your dorm. Seungmin comes to join you, creating a dip in your bed as he takes a seat.

"So," he starts, getting himself comfortable and turning to face you slowly. "What did the she devil want?"

"Surprisingly, all she wanted was to apologise and tell me she thinks I've looked miserable since Minho left," you answer, rolling your eyes at the nickname that's clearly stuck around after all these months.

"Hm," Seungmin says audibly, a curious look to his face. You'd noticed Seungmin was strangely good at reading people, always paying more attention than most. "She's not wrong, to be fair. But that's all? I thought you guys would be screaming at each other, honestly."

You chuckle, shrugging your shoulders. "Same, seriously. I'm shocked at how civil our conversation was - she literally just apologised and explained how she'd had a crush on Doha for a while or whatever, and wanted to tell me she was seeing him the weekend I found out and broke up with him, so she didn't get the chance."

"Interesting," Seungmin raises his eyebrows. "While it was decent of her to apologise, she's still a snake. And, why does she think she can tell you shit about you're own life as if she has any say in it anymore?"

"Who fucking knows," you groan, leaning against the wall beside your bed, turning your head to look over at Seungmin. "I'm over it. I can be civil."

"She doesn't deserve civil," he points out.

"That's true, but I'm not wasting anymore energy over it. I have other issues to deal with," you say with a sigh. Seungmin tilts his head at you.

"You're finally maturing!" He gleams, grinning at you and showing off his braces. You roll your eyes playfully, knowing that he's kind of right. "You're a better woman than me."

When all you do is raise an eyebrow, he laughs and shakes his head. "You know what I mean. Anyway, how are you doing? You know, with the whole Minho situation."

"I dunno," you respond lazily. "I kind of realised I missed him when I started rereading our texts when I couldn't sleep, and now I just want him to come home."

"That's the last stage - acceptance."

"He's not died, Seungmin," your quick to cut in with a laugh.

"No, but it's the same principle. At least you can finally admit you like him more than as just a sneaky link," Seungmin points out, rearranging his position on your bed.

"It wasn't a very sneaky link," you shake your head laughing. "But yeah, I like him. He's not given me any reason to not. I feel like I was just trying to downplay my feelings for him because I didn't want to admit to myself I liked him as much as I do."

"I get it," Seungmin says after humming. "It's scary to get intense feelings for someone so quick after your relationships ended."

"Yeah," you nod, agreeing with him. Seungmin never failed to help you figure out your emotions. "God, if Minho could hear this conversation he'd be gloating."

"Oh, he so would be," Seungmin laughs, rolling his eyes and the thought of his friend. "On a less deep note, did you get the shoes for Jeongin?"

"Yup," you say, heaving yourself up off your bed to grab the box with Jeongin's shoes in it. You open the lid off the box to show Seungmin, tilting it.

"They are hideous."

You role your eyes as you close the lid of the box again. "Shut up, he's been wanting them for ages. For some reason Jeongin can pull off clothes that would make anyone else look like a clown."

"True," Seungmin nods. "Also, have you heard about our new plan regarding Jeongin's birthday party?"

"No?" You question. Jeongin's 21st was proving to be one of the most complicated events you'd ever helped set up in your life. The boys were going all out on the celebrations, which is what you thought Jeongin deserved for putting up with their idiocy.

"We're now no longer informing Felix of any of the plans. He's out. He's a little blabbermouth and cannot be trusted."

You laugh, giving Seungmin a thumbs up. "I'm so on board with that. The amount of times I've had to cover his mouth or change the subject because he keeps 'forgetting' Jeongin's not supposed to know about his surprise party."

"He's an idiot," Seungmin chuckles, standing up from off of your bed and clasping his hands. "I think it's dinner time. Chicken wraps?"

You nod, grinning. "You speak to my soul."

Jeongin's surprise birthday party arrived faster than you'd expected, the days seeming to be a blur of decorations, organising, studying and sleeping. What was meant to be a small get together at Hyunjin and Felix's dorm turned into a full blown party at Changbin and Chan's apartment in the city centre. You weren't aware of just how many friends Jeongin had outside the guys, but he was apparently a very popular guy.

It was a whole ordeal, having to go as far as miss your last lecture on Friday afternoon to help set up. By the time you, Chan, Changbin and Seungmin were set to finish, their apartment would be transformed from a gym bro torture chamber to party central.

You'd all spared no expense with the decorations; streamers, fairy lights, tinsel, and to top it all off - a banner that read, 'happy brthday Jeongin!". Yes, Hyunjin had been in charge of the banner, and yes - he'd misspelled it.

The operation began at 5pm on the dot. Jisung's role was to assist Jeongin in getting to the party location - a process that was made ten times harder from Jisung's idea to stop Jeongin from finding out he's actually headed to his birthday party. He'd gone as far as to create a group chat excluding Jeongin (and Felix, who knew nothing) and propose his 4 step plan.

Step One: The Study Date.

Him and Jeongin had arranged a study date together on Friday after their lectures last week, leaving Jeongin unsuspecting.

Step Two: The Phone Call.

Changbin phones Jisung in a panic about how he was in the bathroom, accidentally slipped out the shower and hurt himself and the lock has broke, leaving him stranded as Chan was out. This is credible, since the dodgy bathroom lock in Chan and Changbin's apartment is infamous (due to many an awkward on-the-toilet encounter), and Changbin is quite clumsy.

Step Three: The Formation.

Jisung ropes Jeongin into going to rescue Changbin with him. Shouldn't be too hard, since Jeongin likes spending time with his friends and will have nothing better to do. Plus, he'd get a kick out of seeing Changbin trapped and in pain. Meanwhile, everyone is also on their way to the party, or already there.

Step Four: The Party.

Everyone hides and does the whole, classic, 'surprise!' scenario, Jeongin is surprised, everyone parties and life is good.

It was actually a pretty decent plan, and everyone was up for seeing it through. That's how you ended up teetering on the edge of a ladder, trying to pin the banner up.

"A little more to the left," Seungmin says, standing back so he can get a comprehensive view of the misspelled banner. You move the banner accordingly. "Hm, maybe down a bit."

You move the banner again, trying to be careful and not fall to your death.

"No, that's too far, more up," Seungmin nags again.

"Oh my god, it's going here - end of," you say exasperatedly, pinning it in place and climbing down the ladder. It looks fine, so you leave it in place and take the ladders away.

"That's the kitchen area finished," Chan announces, walking over to you and Seungmin, dusting his hands off on his trousers. "Hyunjin is such an idiot."

You laugh, nodding your head. "His excuse was that he was half asleep when he painted it."

"If we get Jeongin drunk really quickly he'll probably not notice," Seungmin points out. "Where's Changbin?"

"Here!" The man in question shouts from his room, wandering out with his phone in hand. "Fifteen minutes until the seed is planted. This place looks good!"

"Thanks," you say with a grin, knowing you'd orchestrated the decoration process. "I should probably go get changed - people should be showing up soon, right?"

"Yup," Chan answers. "I told people to show up at around seven, which is in ten minutes, so get your skates on."

"Hold on," Seungmin speaks up, a confused look on his face. "If people are coming in ten, who's getting Jeongin's cake?"

Everyone falls silent, looking towards each other. Changbin shrugs his shoulders, while you roll your eyes.

"Nobody picked up Jeongin's cake?" You groan, knowing that something was bound to go wrong after everything had been going so smoothly. You'd messaged the group chat to say the cake was due to be picked up at some point today, after ordering it online, but it had clearly gone forgotten. You'd get it if you could have, but the cake shop you'd ordered from had to be driven to, and you didn't have a car.

"Do we have time to get it before people start showing up?" Changbin asks.

"Dunno, isn't the bakery a ten minute drive from here? That's a twenty minute trip, not to mention actually getting the cake, and Jeongin and Jisung are only a five minute drive away. As soon as Changbin calls them, they'll be turning up," Chan responds, looking towards you with raised eyebrows.

"Could you drive there, Chan?" Seungmin asks, but he shakes his head.

"Changbin and I had a couple beers this afternoon," he responds, shutting down Seungmin's question. "I feel okay but I'd definitely be over the limit if I got stopped."

"Why don't you drive, Min?" You ask your dorm mate, but Changbin laughs before he gets a chance to respond.

"Seungmin? He hasn't even passed his written test, let alone the actual test," he scoffs.

You turn to Seungmin with a blank stare. "You haven't got a drivers license?"

"Shut up."

You turn on your heel to Chan. "Would you let me drive your car?"

"Sure, if you treat her with respect."

"I'll go, then," you say, because realistically it's the only option. You'd absolutely hate to miss Jeongin's suprise entrance, but you'd hate it if one of the boys missed it even more. Plus, his cake was super expensive and the plan was to bring it out for him straight away. "Where's your keys?"

Chan walks through to the kitchen area wordlessly, grabbing his car keys and chucking them towards you.

"If she comes back with a scratch -"

"You'll kill me, I know," you chuckle, giving the boys a wave and heading towards the door. "Text me when people start showing up."

"Will do. Drive safe," Seungmin answers, as you leave the apartment and hurry down the stairs. It was going to be a mission to get to the cake shop, pick up the cake and get back to the apartment before Jeongin and Jisung arrived, so you had to move quickly.

Chan's car was fairly easy to drive, which was useful since you hadn't driven much since you'd moved to the city for university. It wasn't long until you reached the cake shop. They handed over the cake after you'd checked it to make sure it was the right one, and you basically scrambled to get back in the car and put the foot down.

You'd set your maps up on your phone to find your way back to the apartment when you got the message that Changbin had called Jisung and set the plan in motion, as Jisung had been texting Changbin to say Jeongin was getting antsy in the library, which was a nightmare. Since Jisung and Jeongin were much closer to the apartment than you were, you could only hope Jisung's stalling would buy you some time.

You wouldn't call yourself a particularly fast driver, but in this instance the speed limits were useless to you. Luckily, the amount of times Minho had driven in this area like a maniac and bragged about never getting ticketed had paid off, as you knew there were no speed cameras around. Usain Bolt would have been your only rival as you parked up, grabbing the keys, your phone and the cake box as you bolted up the stairs of Chan and Changbin's apartment building.

Your efforts seemed futile, though, as you slid into the hallway outside their apartment door and saw Jeongin and Jisung standing right outside the door. There was a only a split second where Jeongin turned round upon your arrival, a confused look over his features, before the door burst open and Jeongin's friends shouted, 'surprise!'.

Although you should have been more startled by the array of people screaming in front of you, or disappointed that you'd missed being on the other side of the door for the surprise, the real reason your jaw dropped and you stood stock still was because of one particular person straight in your eye line.

Minho stood, his face only just visible behind Jisung's, amongst your friends. You felt like you were hallucinating until you were snapped back to reality.

"Oh my god?" Jeongin grins, looking between all of his friends. "How could I not have figured this out!"

"Because you weren't blessed with brains," you heard Seungmin say cheekily, earning him a scowl from the birthday boy.

"Shut up. Is it bad I'm kind of disappointed I didn't get to see Changbin in a state?"

Everyone laughs at this, and you follow as the two boys in front of you are ushered into the apartment. It takes Jeongin all but two seconds to notice Minho, and his reaction makes you think he wasn't aware of his grand return either.

"Minho hyung!" He squeals, even going as far as to give the older man a hug. "I thought you weren't able to be back in time for my birthday?"

"Change of plans," Minho says with a smile, reciprocating Jeongin's hug. "Happy birthday, kid."

The front door closes behind you, and you turn to see Jisung winking at you.

"Did you know about this?" You whisper to him, and you watch him shrug as he takes the cake box out of your hands.

"Might have done. Go say hi," he replies with a genuine smile. You roll your eyes, unable to resist smiling back at him as you turn around - and Minho is standing right there. It almost feels like a dream.

There's a moment where he just looks at you, a small smile playing at his lips, until he pulls you into him and wraps his arms around your shoulders. You just let him take you in his embrace, and if you had to describe how it felt - you'd say it felt like home.

Your reunion was, of course, interrupted as Chan strolls towards you both.

"Okay, lovebirds, there's enough time to get reacquainted later," he grins at you both. You pull apart, thankful that Jeongin's party guests had started to mingle amongst themselves and hadn't witnessed your sappy moment. "How's my baby?"

"Your cars fine," you respond, chucking his car keys in the air, which he catches. "Only scratched her a couple times."

Chan just shakes his head at you, walking away to hang up his car keys. Just as you think you've got a minute to be able to talk to Minho, your arm is swiftly pulled away and Felix drags you into him for a hug.

"Hello, my favourite girl," he grins, wiggling you about. "How's your day been since I last saw you a couple hours ago?"

You laugh, shaking your head at Felix's eternally happy nature. "It's been stressful. I actually still need to get changed, so if I could perhaps get a second -"

"BIRTHDAY SHOTS!" You hear Changbin scream from the kitchen area, and take it as your queue to dip. You silently slide away and grab your bag, heading into Chan's bedroom to get changed. He'd given you permission earlier in the afternoon to change in his room, so you start pulling your clothes out of your bag.

Before you get the chance to change, you hear a gentle knock at the door. Sighing, you shout through that they can come in.

"Sorry to interrupt," Minho says quietly, sliding through the door as if to not reveal his disappearance from the party. "I saw you come in here, and I wanted to say hi properly."

"Hi," you all but giggle, moving closer to him out of instinct. "Is it cringe if I say I've missed you?"

"Super cringe," he answers, coming closer to you still. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you too."

You hum, letting him come even closer and bringing your hand in his. He gives it a squeeze as you rest your head against his chest momentarily.

"You didn't talk to me while you were away," you mumble. You knew why he'd given you the radio silence, but it didn't hurt any less.

"I know," he sighs back, bringing his free hand up to place it in your hair. "I just wanted to give you space. I was so busy, too."

"No, I get it," you interrupt, pulling away slightly to look at him properly. "I just...I dunno, I thought I'd have a lot more time to plan what I'd say to you when you came home."

Minho chuckles, shaking his head slightly. "Well, we've got plenty of time to catch up later. If I don't give Felix about an hour of my time tonight he will kill me."

"I don't doubt it," you smile. "That boy has missed you more than I can say."

Minho can't help but smile, and you can tell how much he has missed his friends. He steps back from you slightly and nods towards your bag on Chan's bed.

"I'll leave you to it. Find me later on though, yeah? We've got a lot to talk about," Minho says, taking a few steps backwards and smiling at you before leaving.

You take a minute to yourself before getting changed, smiling inwardly at the thought of seeing Minho again, of him being back home. You'd waited for this day for almost two months and now it was here - you were more ecstatic than you thought you'd be.

Once changed, you leave Chan's bedroom to find the party in full swing already. You recognise some people, such as Jeongin's friends from work and some people on his course, but you decide to head in the direction of the birthday boy himself. You find him downing shots with Hyunjin, who gives you a grin as you walk towards him.

"Hey," he says, passing you a shot on instinct. You down it with a grimace, placing the empty glass on the table beside you. "You look less crap than you did a half hour ago."

"What a lovely compliment," you sneer, turning to the younger boy to your left. "Happy birthday Jeongin - the big twenty one."

"Don't remind me. I'm as old as you guys now," he laughs, already going to pour another round of shots. "Your decorations are great - I'm so glad they left if to you. If it was any of the boys, Hyunjin's dodgy birthday banner would be the only form of decoration."

"Hey!" Hyunjin shouts as you chuckle.

"You noticed that, did you?" You ask Jeongin, who shrugs with a grin.

"Of course I did, it's literally the centrepiece," he says, turning his attention to Hyunjin. "Really? Who forgets the 'I' in birthday?"

"Okay, okay, now that you're my age doesn't mean you get a pass to be a cheeky shit," Hyunjin counters. "The day you can outdrink me is the day you can make fun of me all you want."

Jeongin takes that as his queue to pass out the shots he has poured, so you take it and clink your glass against his and Hyunjin's before downing it. Hyunjin must have noticed what you had at that moment, Minho sitting next to Felix on the sofa, as he nudges your shoulder.

"Did you talk to him yet?" He asks.

"Yeah, a bit. Did you know he was coming home early?"

Hyunjin shakes his head, and when you look to Jeongin he shakes his too.

"No idea. It was a nice birthday surprise, except Felix won't leave him alone now," Jeongin laughs. "I'm using my birthday boy status to demand a chat."

Jeongin peels off, heading towards Minho and Felix, which leaves you and Hyunjin.

"Don't worry about it," Hyunjin says in a calm tone, obviously sensing you were nervous about how to navigate Minho being home. "Enjoy yourself tonight. I've got no doubts that Minho will be occupied all night, since everyone's missed him almost as much as you have, but you'll have plenty time after the party to talk. Or not talk, up to you."

You nudge his shoulder at his suggestive tone, but laugh all the same. "I know, I guess I'm still shocked he's even here. Have you talked to him yet?"

"Nope," Hyunjin shakes his head. "He arrived only a minute after Felix and I did, and then not even five minutes later Jeongin turned up. I'll catch him at some point tonight."

You hum in response, giving your friend a small smile. "You shouldn't worry either," you say, knowing your emotional friend is probably shitting it for his conversation with Minho after everything that happened. "It will be fine between you two."

"Yeah, I know. I just hope he knows how sorry I am."

You roll your eyes at Hyunjin, unable to help yourself. "Come on you big softie, you know what Minho's like. He probably already doesn't care."

Hyunjin's face lights up at this, as if you've reminded him how much Minho actually loves him, and that he won't let one stupid incident bother him too much.

"You're right," Hyunjin nods, pulling a hand through his messy blonde hair.

You shrug your shoulders in response. "I always am. Now, want to pour us some drinks? Plus, isn't that girl you were seeing a couple months ago, the one on Jeongin's course, here? Maybe you could apologise for ditching her at the library that one time."

Hyunjin laughs, shaking his head. "Yeah, that might be a good idea," he says, looking in the direction of that girl and her friends, until Seungmin starts walking towards you both. "Want a drink, Seungmo?"

"Was just about to ask for one," Seungmin responds, giving Hyunjin a thumbs up when he picks up the bottle of liquor Seungmin wanted. "Plus, I wanted to tell you both to stop moping in the corner. Jeongin's adamant on setting up beer pong, and I need to win this time. He's never stopped rubbing the New Years game in my face."

"What happened on new years?" You ask, the two boys having clearly forgotten you weren't there.

"Only the greatest showdown in history," Hyunjin responds with a grin, handing you and Seungmin the drinks he poured for you both. "It was Jeongin, Changbin and Felix vs me, Seungmin and Changbin with Jisung as ref. It was the most intense game, and Jeongin ended up winning at the last second."

"With some dirty tactics," Seungmin huffs sulkily, turning his attention to you. "Anyway, I'm replacing Changbin with you on my team, because he lost for us last time, so come on."

The beer pong game you get roped into ends up lasting hours, since Jeongin continuously disappears to either talk to his party guests or down the never ending cycle of drinks being given to him. Due to this, Seungmin's team ends up winning, even after Hyunjin's position is switched out to one of Jeongin's work colleagues, since Hyunjin's attempt to apologise to that girl he left in the library actually works.

When people start heading home after a couple hours, you notice him leave with that same girl, a cheeky grin plastering his face. You shake your head at him in response as you continue your clean up mission. Everyone had gotten very drunk very quickly, which had led to Chan and Changbin's apartment getting all but trashed.

Hyunjin's birthday banner was ripped in half, both sides dangling off the wall, though Jeongin had said it looked better like that, since you couldn't see the spelling mistake well. The birthday boy in question was crashed on the couch, the alcohol clearly overcoming him. Felix was right there with him, though that was the opposite of a surprise. You'd think with how often that boy drank he'd began to build a tolerance, but alas.

That left you, Seungmin, Chan, Changbin, Jisung and Minho, each one of you doing your bit to help make the apartment look as presentable as a bunch of drunk people could. You were placing all the red cups into a trash bag, when you felt someone tap your shoulder. Turning, you see Minho behind you, handsome as ever.

"Hey," he says with a smile. "Seungmin and Jisung are planning to crash here tonight, but I was wondering if you wanted a lift home? I haven't been drinking."

You can't help but inwardly smile, not only at the prospect of getting to spend time with Minho, but also at being able to sleep in your own bed and not on the sweat infested gym bro couch.

"Yeah, that would be great," you agree. "When do you want to go?"

"Now, please. I can only spend small doses of time in this apartment. It's the embodiment of revolting," Minho shudders, taking the bin bag from you and tying it up, walking towards the front door with you in tow to place it with the others.

"Oh come on," you counter. "It's not that bad."

"If you opened that fridge, all you'd see is chicken, beer, and protein shakes. This is a terrifying place."

You laugh, turning to find Seungmin and say goodbye. You spot him on his phone, chilling on the sofa beside a sleeping Jeongin who not only had a bunch of random objects stacked on top of him, but had 'dick' written on his forehead.

Walking over, he catches your attention and gives you his signature salute. You return it with a smile. "Use protection," he says lowly to you, an eyebrow raised.

"Shut your mouth," you smile sweetly back, grabbing the dorm keys he chucks at you and turning on your heel. Minho waves bye at his friends quietly, not wanting to wake up the two sleeping beauties.

"Cars parked just outside," he informs you as you both walk down the stairs. "Sorry I couldn't spend much time with you tonight, it was like every time one conversation ended, another one began straight away, and I was in an endless loop of talking about the same thing."

"It must get annoying," you say, walking out the front door of the apartment building as Minho holds the door open for you. "I bet you end up having the same conversation again and again every time you come home from touring."

"Mhm," Minho says, using his car keys to open the door before you both climb in. It feels strange, being back in Minho's car as if he hadn't been gone. "But I won't have to do it anymore."

You turn to him, visibly confused. His eyes widen, and he shakes his head. "Shit. Guess the cats out the bag."

"You're not touring anymore?"

"It was meant to be more of a grand reveal," he sighs with a smile, whilst you practically squeal. It didn't help that you were drunk, being told news as exciting as this.

"So, how - what are you doing now?" You ask, trying to get a grasp of what was happening. Minho starts the car and pulls away, heading in the direction of your dorm.

"You know how I was telling you about possibly getting a permanent position here in Seoul?," he asks, which you nod at. "Well, when I was touring a position opened up, and I applied for it straight away. I was offered the position two days ago, and the transfer was instantaneous. I got the first flight home I could."

You felt like you were dreaming, which wasn't helped from the alcohol in your system. "So you get to stay here, all the time?"

"Yup. I work for a venue owned by my company, which means I'll only ever be dancing there. No need to leave anymore," he smiles, keeping his eyes on the road. "The pay rate isn't as good, but since I'll be working more than when I was touring, I end up making more money in the long run."

You sigh contemptibly, grinning like a madman without even meaning to. It's not long until Minho is pulling up outside your dorm building.

"Are you coming in?" You ask, which he nods at.

"Yeah, if that's what you want," he smiles, getting out of his car. You do the same, closing the door behind you and using your keys to open the main door. Once you reach your bedroom, you can't help but to rush into Minho's arms. He chuckles at you, knowing the alcohol is definitely fuelling your emotions.

It doesn't stop him from holding you tightly against him, placing his head on top of yours.

"I lied before," you mumble. Minho raises an eyebrow, waiting for you to continue. "I didn't just miss you. I wished you'd come home every day. Life wasn't the same without you in it."

Minho doesn't say anything straight away, and at first you think he's going to turn around and say he doesn't like you, he doesn't want to be with you - until you pull away from him slightly and realise he's tearing up.

"What's wrong?" You say instantly, going on your tip toes to catch the tears in the corners of his eyes before they fall.

"Being away from you - it was way harder than I thought it was going to be. There was so many times I wanted to call you just to hear your voice, but I wanted to give you the space you needed. And then when Hyunjin called me, I just got so angry about the whole situation, and I took it out on him which I shouldn't have. I still need to apologise to him for that," he chuckles. "But it made me realise how much I genuinely cared for you, how much I missed you."

You look between his eyes as he talks, taking everything in.

"Why don't we sit down," Minho smiles, nodding towards your bed. "I've got so much I want tot tell you."

"Me too," you agree, sitting on your bed and making yourself comfortable. "You go first."

"No, you," he counters, his usual demanding self. "I want to hear about what you've been up to."

You shake your head but oblige nonetheless. "Well, I did good in all my exams, and I haven't had anymore shit from my lecturers. I haven't really done much, other than spend time with the guys and study."

Minho nods as he listens. "I knew you'd ace those exams, I didn't doubt it."

You smile. "You helped a lot, though. Oh - I almost forgot, the other week Sooyun came to see me."

"The she witch?" Minho says, shocked. "What the hell did she want?"

"She basically told me she's sorry blah blah and that she said I've looked miserable since you left."

Minho's features soften at this, and on instinct his hand goes towards yours. He takes it in his absentmindedly, and you had to admit, you missed the way his skin felt against yours. Warm and safe.

"You...you were miserable whilst I was away?" He asks sincerely.

"Not miserable, just not as happy," you say. "You've been a big part in my life the end of last year, and when you left, it was like a little bit of my happiness did too."

Minho tilts his head, studying you. "I felt the exact same way. It was fucking weird - I thought I'd be fine and I'd be home in a couple months and we'd see each other, but I just couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Hyunjin said you said you love me," you blurt out all of a sudden, and you watch as the tips of Minho's ears turn bright red. You smile at his reaction.

"Hyunjin is an idiot. But he's not wrong."

The smile is completely wiped from your face, hearing him say that out loud.

"You love me?" You say cautiously, not quite believing it was real.

"I don't know much about love," Minho sighs, a small smile on his face. "My parents...they weren't loving to me. Hell, I don't think they even love each other. But, if someone asked me what I think it is - I would say it was this. You. My feelings for you are as close to romantic love as I ever thought I was capable of having."

Shell shocked wouldn't even begin to describe your feelings. You can't help but feel tears brim at the corners of your eyes, just like Minho's had done moments before. He chuckles at your reaction.

"I've never had a serious girlfriend, and I don't know if I'll be any good at being a boyfriend, but if you feel the way I feel, I want to try with you. You are stubborn, naive, and such a brat," he starts, and you scowl at him. He laughs in return before continuing. "But you are also the kindest, most talented, and beautiful person I have ever met. I knew you were special the moment we met, and I'd be an idiot to ever let you go."

"You're just as stubborn as me," you say, stubbornly focusing on that part of Minho's speech. He laughs openly at you, shaking his head with adoration.

"I am, but you love me for it anyway," he says cheekily.

"I do."

"Say it," Minho says instantly, staring you down. "Say you love me."

"What do I get in return?"

Minho scoffs. "You get to love me? What's better than that?"

"A paracetamol and a glass of water," you say, the effects of the alcohol already starting to kick into your system. Minho laughs at you, shaking his head.

"Okay, doll. If you say you love me, I'll nurse your hangover," he says honestly, hands up.

"Even tomorrow? You'll stay the night?" You ask, putting on your best puppy dog eyes.

Minho nods, holding his pinky out. "I promise. Now say you love me."

You look properly into his eyes, sincerity taking over. "Are you ready for my cringe speech?"

He laughs, nodding, so you continue.

"Being cheated on sucks. It's shit to put all your effort into somebody just for them to stomp on it. You were there for me throughout a really crap period of time. You were my friend, and then you were something more, and as much as you were a distraction to what had happened, you also became my rock. My shoulder to lean on - and I really don't know what I would have done without you during those months. You showed me what it felt to be genuinely liked again, sparked my happiness and passion and everything else, and I am so thankful for your dumb existence," you say, trying to keep your confession semi lighthearted. Minho smiles.

You take a deep breath, looking up at Minho. "I love you, Minho. I feel like I didn't know what proper love was until I met you. Nobody has ever treated me like you do, and I have never felt such intense feelings for anyone, ever. I love you, and I'm so glad you feel the same way."

Minho shakes his head fondly, a smile threatening to crack over his features.

"God, who turned us into such sappy people?" He asks, looking back at you.

"Who knows," you laugh, trying your hardest not to cry from all the emotions you were feeling.

"So, what do you think about being my girlfriend?," Minho asks, immediately talking again afterwards. "If you don't want to make things official too quickly that's okay, I mean we have only been on one date and -"

"I would love to be your girlfriend, Minho," you reply seriously. He stops rambling and smiles.

"Really?"

You laugh at him. "Really, really. Your first act as my boyfriend can be to get me some damn paracetamol, my head is pounding."

Minho chuckles as he shakes his head, standing up off the bed. "Is this my life now? Servitude to your highness?"

"Hey! You signed up for this," you laugh, watching as Minho walks out your door to head to your kitchen, knowing exactly where you keep the medication.

You smile in at at yourself, thinking back to the first time you met Minho at that bar, thinking back to how enamoured you were with him and how easily he became such an important part of your life.

It hadn't been easy to get to where you were now, going from nothing but acquaintances, to friends with benefits, to nothing at all - but you'd do it over again in a heartbeat, to be able to call Minho your boyfriend.

"Here you go, love," he says when he returns, placing a glass in your hand and the pills in the other, smiling down at you with adoration.

Yeah, you'd do it all over again.

Maybe friends with benefits works out after all.

sorry about the wait, yet again. I hope this heals all your broken hearts!! feedback is always appreciated, and a massive thankyou to everyone who’s ever interacted with this story <333

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[booksbluegurl]

Day 15/100 days of Productivity

22nd April, 2024

Academia

Before 22nd April

I read through the notes of Kinematics 1D.

Watched a beautiful video on steric hindrance. Explained in Hindi. (Steric hindrance is when two groups repel each other in an organic compound. It increases with increase in alkyl groups and size.)

Read through lecture slides of Solids. And made short notes.

Watching a video on hydrocarbons.

On 22nd April

Revised Basic Maths.

Doing lecture 1 slides of Vectors.

Watched this video on Glycolysis.

Watched this animation on menstrual cycle.

Also watched and made notes of a few minutes of Atomic Structure.

Also watched NCERT line by line of Principle of Inheritance. Didn't finish it though.

Non Academia

I watched this video on Bridgerton specially Polin storyline. Though I've already read the book but it has been around 8 months since, so this was fun. The book actually portrays Penelope and Colin in a better light than the series. And I'm gonna be very honest, one of the best characters is Penelope. I also like Colin but there were instances I didn't.

Watched my favourite kind of video-On Pride and Prejudice. Was Mr. Darcy a lord? A fascinating conversation. I'm waiting for the time when I'm spending all my days reading and learning and talking about Jane Austen. Which is gonna be in 12 days.

5/20 days of April breaking the cycle

I had terrible back/shoulder pain at the end of the day, so I had to lie down. Now I did study for about 40 minutes while lying down but I finally started reading a romance novel. And yes, I finished it. It wasn't long though, it was just 230 pages. But CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? my exam has barely 10 days left and I'm reading a romance novel. And finishing it. I wish I had the same dedication for my studies as I have for watching and reading romcoms.

-Tanishka.

Day 14

Day 16

Pictures from pinterest. Credit to the owners.

[hannahssimblr]

The crying is relentless. All morning and well into the afternoon. It's not constant, but it is consistent, a cycle of heavy, self pitying sobs followed by these silences where I imagine she forgets what she's so sad about, or curses Evan out instead, which, if it were me, is what I would be doing. I can't understand why any person is really worth this much anguish, especially ones that don't wash their hair.

“Ah, Shell,” Jen mutters under her breath, “he’s just a stupid fucking boy, enough already.” 

The brilliant sunlight of early May streaks through the windows and over the pages of our textbooks and notebooks strewn all over the carpet. With the summer exams approaching I have accepted that it’s going to be like this all month, study, revising, shovelling snacks into our mouths and then studying some more until our eyes feel like shrivelled little raisins in their sockets. But I have nowhere else to be these days, so I am happy to spend them on my stomach in the sun with Jen, writing flashcards and highlighting entire pages about chemical erosion and igneous rock.

“Did you see him at school this week?” I ask around the pen jammed between my teeth. 

“Who? Evan?”

“Yep.”

“Unfortunately. With Carlie.”

“Oh, crazy. He moved on quickly.”

She tuts and shakes her head in disgust, “He’s horrible. He has no shame, full on knowing that Michelle can see him shoving his foul slug tongue into Carlie’s mouth, in broad daylight.”

“Mm, nothing good ever happens in broad daylight, does it?”

 There is a bang, crash and wallop as Michelle comes down the stairs and straight into the room. I steel myself defensively, waiting for, I don't know what, maybe for her to start giving out to me or screaming that I need to get the hell out, not that she’s done that yet, but there’s always a chance. I bet she would if she was feeling crazy enough.

But maybe we've caught her at a good time, because instead she looks startled to see me, while also appearing different, more vulnerable than I'm used to seeing her now that the makeup she usually rings her eyes with is absent for the first time since she was about fourteen. It feels risky to look directly in her eyes, but I can't really help myself. It's like some layer has been peeled away, and she's the girl who used to be my friend.

“Um,” she utters, voice cracked and hoarse from crying, and drags the heel of her hand beneath her still dripping nose, “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I can go.”

She hesitates. 

“Let him stay,” Jen grumbles, “He’s just studying, he’s not going to bite you, is he?” 

“Okay,” Michelle says in a voice just above a whisper, and hovers there for another few moments as Jen goes back to flipping through her geography book, no doubt taking nothing in.

“Did you need something?”

“Not really.”

“Alright.”

Flip.

Flip.

Michelle gently clears her throat, “Is it… is it for the summer exams? All the study, like.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll probably fail mine,” a feeble laugh, “and dad will be thrilled with me.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand, given the circumstances.”

“I don’t think so,” she comes a bit closer, her stockinged feet padding over the carpet, and I don’t move a muscle as she approaches us, afraid to make a nuisance of myself. She perches on the edge of the sofa and folds her hands in her lap. “I think I should probably study,” she comments absently.

“If you want to,” Jen says. 

“I have so much work to catch up on…”

“Well,” Jen spreads out her fingers and gestures to the mess of paper and books on the floor like she’s presenting a gourmet meal, “you’re welcome to join us any time, babe.”

I sense Michelle’s eyes on me but I deliberately keep mine fixed on my book. The last thing I want to do is put her off the idea and then, God knows, get blamed for any and all fail grades she ends up getting.

“Hm, maybe,” she says, and leans to pluck at the corner of one of the English book covers, “I honestly know nothing, I can’t remember any of King Lear, never mind the poetry…”

“All that Shakespeare stuff is Jude’s domain, actually all of it is his, I'm clearly the idiot in the room…”

I pipe up sheepishly, “If you need help going through stuff, you know, I can, but if not it’s obviously fine too.”

“Hm,” she says, and slides to the floor with us, “Maybe. I’ll see.”

Jen gives me a secret smirk. “She'll see,” she mouths, and just like the sneaky wink she follows it with, I have absolutely no idea what she means.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[faithhopeloveandtherapy]

We have been away for the weekend to visit d2 and to celebrate Mothers Day. d3 didn’t come as she has exams this week so stayed at home to revise.

The weekend has had some really lovely bits but also some really stressful bits, and the really stressful bits are overwhelming and leave me feeling so exhausted and drained. H seems to be in this phase where he doesn’t pay attention when driving, last month he randomly crunched into the side of another car as he parked because he didn’t see it, and then on Saturday he was doing a three point turn and reversed at full speed into a high kerb and scrunched the exhaust. Like literally the exhaust pipe that should be horizontal now has a kink in it and points at the ground. Then when he drove the car after that, there’s an ominous squeaking form underneath the car like something is loose.

This nearly sent me over the edge, I am all like “the exhaust is going to fall off and how are we going to drive four hours home and the car is doomed” and H is like “ah well there’s nothing we can do about it just now” and I’m like “that’s exactly my issue!! there is nothing we can do about it it!! And we are stuck with this situation that leads to certain doom!!” I don’t know how to get myself out of situations like this, my anxiety just runs riot and takes me over so I go into a shutdown spiral. I had to self medicate with alcohol to even get back to minimal functioning. I do try and do a bit of CBT on myself and think about what evidence is there that my worst case scenario will happen, and what might the best case scenario be etc but it just has minimal impact.

Then at the end of last week, H’s phone died. This was an entirely predictable event that I have been telling him to get a new phone ordered for the last couple of weeks before this exact scenario happened, but of course he left it to the last minute grrrrr. So now his phone has died and we cannot communicate when apart. So in the complex situation of checking out of air bnb, retrieving the car from a mile away and collecting d1 and d2, he went awol and I couldn’t get hold of any of them to find out what was going on, and none of them thinks how I might be feeling and therefore they should let me know. So I got in another anxiety spiral thinking of the worst case scenario.

Anyway I probably sound really whingy but these things are really difficult for me and make me feel really sad that nobody in my family thinks or cares enough to take the care of me that I take of them, and then I’m expected to be all happy and cheerful about my Mother’s Day treat when I’m actually feeling sad and invalidated. I did manage to say how I was feeling and we all did some repairing and then I put my negative emotions to the side and enjoyed the lovely and thoughtful treat that my girls had bought for me.

If you were friends with me on Facebook you would just see all the highlights and it would look like I had an amazing weekend being spoilt, which I did, but its only half the story. This is the other half.

[imwall-e]

W&TWS || Doubts

Summary : He is a super-soldier of more than 100 year old, struggling to find a place in this new world. She is a young student of 23, struggling with life. But they know they can find comfort and help in each other.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings : a bit of angst and anxiety, also fluff and always Bucky being the best

A/N : I am back to writing this fanfiction. It is more a journal to me, but it feels good to write like that and to share the story of Bucky and Willow. I hope you love it !

Series Masterlist

May 10th 2021

The exams had started the week of her birthday. Willow had barely revised, but was still doing her best to answer the questions and write good essays. She had a feeling, however, that it wouldn't be enough, but she was at peace with that. After all, this degree no longer suited her. All she had to do was make a decision: try her luck at the catch-up exams (because yes, she would definitely have to go), or give up altogether.

Strangely enough, her reflections led her to William. They had only been dating a few months, and she had taken just as long to get over what he had done to her. The wound still hadn't completely healed. A new question came to mind: was it a good idea to start a relationship with Bucky?

True, they had only exchanged a kiss, but perhaps everything was still moving too fast? Perhaps she needed to take her time? She wrote down all her anxieties on the paper she'd used for drafts, and promised herself she'd tell Bucky about them the next time they called.

He had gone back to New York a few weeks earlier, and it was difficult for them to communicate. She knew that a long-distance relationship wouldn't work in the long term. Especially in two different time zones.

She didn't want to get too attached like in her previous relationships. But Bucky seemed so kind. So thoughtful. However, bad times in the past forced her to be wary of many things, and many people. Even Bucky.

The teacher supervising the exam indicated that there was still an hour to go before the end of the exam. She glanced at her paper: barely four pages... She sighed, gathered her things, handed in her paper and went home.

The journey seemed long. Longer than usual. When she arrived, she was greeted only by her dog Dino. Her mother must still be at work. She took the opportunity to relax a little: take Dino for a walk, have something to eat, continue reading a book. Around 6pm, she took a shower and fell asleep a few minutes after getting into bed.

May 11th 2021

When she woke up, it was past midnight. The house was quiet. Her bedroom door was closed, probably by her mother who had preferred to let her sleep in. She reached for her phone and was blinded for several seconds by the brightness.

A few notifications from her group of friends told her that she wasn't the only one who had failed the exam. Dysariel's plan was holding up, which surprised none of them, after all he always got the best marks.

However, it was two other notifications that caught his attention. They were from Bucky:

Bucky Bear At 10.30pm: Hello Sunflower, I hope your day went well and that you managed to pass your mid-term. Give me your availability for tomorrow, I want to call you for your birthday. At 00:00: If my clock in New York is telling the right time for you, it's time for me to wish you a very happy birthday, my Sunflower. I haven't heard from you, so I assume you've fallen asleep. Thinking of you. PS: I also have a surprise for you that should arrive later today.   Sunflower At 00:15: Thank you, Bucky Bear! I'll be available from midday. I don't have any exams in the afternoon. Do I get a hint about my surprise? I'm thinking of you too. Bucky Bear  At 12:16am: Sorry, but if I tell you, it won't be a surprise! I've got to go to one last meeting. Go back to sleep, you need your rest. I can't wait to see you again.

His messages made her smile. He hadn't forgotten her birthday. He was going to surprise her. She had to concentrate on the positives. She wished she could go back to sleep now, but she knew she wouldn't be able to. So she grabbed her computer, plugged in her headphones and started watching videos. 

She was woken up by her seven o'clock alarm, just two hours after going back to sleep. She nearly fell asleep on the train journey to university. 

This morning she had an English grammar exam from nine to noon. However, she already knew that she would get out early because it was the subject she had mastered the most. Two or three exercises were more complicated and she could guess that she wouldn't get all the points. The most important thing was that she would at least pass the subject.

Zephyr, Dysariel, Axel and Ophélia went out more or less at the same time as her. They stayed another hour to eat together at one of the local fast-food restaurants. They talked about everything and anything. And Bucky.

"So," asked Dysariel, "how are things going with your handsome soldier?"

"Fine," replied Willow, blushing. I'm just a bit scared..."

"Of what?"

"That it's going too fast. Besides, the age difference is great, I mean he's over a century old."

They laughed together and all advised her the same thing: they were sure that what was between her and Bucky was special, but she had to take her time and think about her well-being.

Then came the time to go home. Zephyr went first, his parents being stricter about his going-out times. Then it was Ophélia's turn, as she had almost two hours by train to get home. Dysariel had things to do and wanted to revise for the hardest exam on Thursday: US history. Axel and Willow were the last to leave.

They had barely taken a few steps out of the main building when Axel remarked to Willow, "Look who's here." Indeed, Bucky was coming towards them, in a superb black suit. "I've got a train to catch and I think you deserve some time with him. Happy birthday again and see you on Thursday!" Before Willow could reply, Axel had already crossed the pedestrian crossing. When she turned her head towards Bucky, he was standing next to her, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hands.

"Happy birthday, Willow. I hope you don't mind that I came unannounced, I definitely wanted to surprise you." He looked tired but happy to see her again. As for her, she couldn't say a word because she was so surprised. She could only throw herself into his arms.

He held her close. Her long blonde hair smelt of monoi, the scent they both associated with summer. Bucky could already see himself taking her on holiday to the beach, or to New York to meet the people he considered to be his family.

Together they got into the car. "I was thinking we could go for lunch somewhere?" Bucky suggested.

"We've already eaten with the others. Maybe tonight?"

"Yes, of course. Say, I've booked a hotel room for the week, at the park where we spent our first date. We can also spend the day there tomorrow. Are you interested?

"Why not."

Bucky noticed that Willow didn't seem as cheerful as usual. He gently stopped the car at the side of the road, and turned to her, "Is everything all right?" Worry showed on his face and Willow couldn't help crying. There was the stress of the exams, the happiness of seeing Bucky again, the fears that were interfering with her thoughts.

So she told him about all the doubts she had about their relationship. She apologised several times. Bucky took her face in his hands: "Willow, look at me. It's all right, I'm not angry with you. Unless you never want to see me again, we'll take our time. We'll go at your pace. I promise you that. Now, I just want to know if we spend the afternoon and tomorrow together, or if I drop you off at your place?"

"I think I'm scared because of what happened with my old boyfriends."

"Willow, you don't have to tell me about it. Only do it if you want to or if you're ready."

"I am."

"Then we'll talk about it, but let me take you out for dessert. I know when you get really anxious and it calms down, you get hungry right after."

The fact that he remembered little details like this warmed her heart, and a big smile lit up her face. Bucky started the car again, one hand resting on Willow's thigh. Willow put her hand on his. She was already feeling a little lighter.

I hope you love this chapter, I'm writing the next one ! Do not hesitate to like, comment and reblog if you feel comfortable to do so !