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psychologyofsex · 4 years

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The True Story of How I Became a Sex Educator and Researcher

Our professional biographies tend to serve as a “highlight reel”—they only say the great things we’ve accomplished and don’t reveal the struggles, challenges, and uncertainties that went into building a career. To lift back the curtain on this, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (SPSP) recently asked a number of scholars to submit their official bios along with their “unofficial bios” that reveal an extremely different version of the story with more twists and turns.

You can read some of the examples here. Although I didn’t participate in it, I thought it would be fun to do something similar on the blog. So here goes—I’ll start with my official bio, followed by the real, behind-the-scenes story.

Official Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

Dr. Justin Lehmiller received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University. He is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 50 academic works to date, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality (now in its second edition) that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller's studies have appeared in all of the leading journals on human sexuality, including the Journal of Sex Research, Archives of Sexual Behavior, and The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Dr. Lehmiller has run the popular blog Sex and Psychology since 2011. It receives millions of page views per year and is rated among the top sex blogs on the internet. In 2019, he launched the Sex and Psychology Podcast. It ranks among the top sexuality podcasts in several countries and has been named one of “11 sex podcasts that will help you get better in bed” by Men’s Health.

Dr. Lehmiller has been interviewed by numerous media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, CNN, The Atlantic, The Globe and Mail, and The Sunday Times. He has been named one of 5 "Sexperts" You Need to Follow on Twitter by Men's Health and one of the "modern-day masters of sex" by Nerve. Dr. Lehmiller has appeared on the Netflix series Sex, Explained, he has been on several episodes of the television program Taboo on the National Geographic Channel, and he has been a guest on Dr. Phil. Dr. Lehmiller has also appeared on numerous podcasts and radio shows, including the Savage Lovecast, the BBC’s Up All Night, and several NPR programs (1A, Radio Times, and Airtalk).

He is a popular freelance writer, penning columns and op-eds for major publications, including The Washington Post, Playboy, USA Today, VICE, Psychology Today, Men’s Health, Politico, and New York Magazine. He has also interviewed several prominent authors, journalists, and psychologists about their work for his blog and podcast, including Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Lisa Ling, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and bestselling authors Christopher Ryan (Sex at Dawn) and Lisa Taddeo (Three Women).

Unofficial Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

When Justin’s parents asked him what he wanted to study in college, he said “psychology.” He had taken a couple of psychology courses in high school that he found to be absolutely fascinating; however, his parents discouraged him from this because getting into a PhD program was tough and uncertain and, if that didn’t work out, they didn’t see much potential in a Bachelor’s degree in psychology. They encouraged him to pursue a career in occupational therapy (OT) instead because a family friend said “they needed more men in the field,” and also because his parents saw it as a path to job security with a pretty good paycheck.

He applied to a 5-year combined Bachelor’s/Master’s program in OT at Gannon University and was admitted. Incidentally, he was one of two men in the entire program. He spent a year and a half in it and made straight As in every course, including biochemistry and physics—but he wasn’t happy. He recognized the importance of OT to society, but it wasn’t his passion. After showing his parents that he was taking college seriously and earning good grades, they allowed him to switch his major to psychology.

Upon completing his Bachelor’s degree, he only applied to Master’s programs in psychology because he didn’t think he had the chops to get into a PhD program right away. The inferiority complex was strong in this one, so he didn’t even try. He applied and was accepted to Villanova University’s Master’s program in experimental psychology. He was not competitive enough of a candidate to receive an assistantship initially, although he eventually received one after another student dropped out.

He really wanted to study social psychology at Villanova, but there was only one social psychologist on staff at the time and several interested students. The only option for him was to beg one of the clinical psychologists to let him do a social psychology study for his Master’s thesis.

As he began looking for PhD programs to apply to, he met Dr. Chris Agnew at a meeting of the American Psychological Association. Chris was studying romantic relationships and Justin thought that sounded like a fun thing to spend his life doing. Plus, Chris was a super cool guy who seemed like a fantastic mentor. He applied and was admitted to Purdue’s social psychology program, although he was initially waitlisted (and rejected from all but one other program). Justin’s plan was to get his doctorate and become a college professor. Teaching and research sounded like things he could probably do.

Justin was assigned to teach a Health Psychology course at Purdue during his first year. He had never taught a class before and quickly realized that he was very uncomfortable with public speaking. The class was a disaster. Attendance dropped 60-70% within the first couple of weeks. He had no idea what he was doing and dreaded going to class each day—and he received poor evaluations in the end.

Around the same time, Justin submitted his first academic paper to a journal, it was promptly rejected and came with this review: “This manuscript is fatally flawed and of marginal utility, which is a shame because potentially interesting questions could have been asked given the topic and timing of the research. The tone of this manuscript represents the worst in scientific misconstrual, particularly because the claims are silly, wrong, or not warranted by the data.” Justin clearly sucked at both teaching and research—and if he couldn’t do those things well, how would he ever become a college professor?

He also started hearing horror stories from advanced students in his program who couldn’t find jobs and were sticking around for 6 or 7 years in the hope of eventually landing a job—any job. All of this led Justin to question what the hell he was doing with his life. Maybe he should have listened to his parents after all? Chris encouraged Justin to stick with it, though, as did his friends and mentors.

The next year, Justin got assigned to be a teaching assistant for a human sexuality course taught by Dr. Janice Kelly. It changed his life. He had to lead weekly discussion sections with students and answer their sex questions (a subject he knew next to nothing about, having attended Catholic schools most of his life). He read about sex extensively and instantly knew he had found what he really wanted to do with his career. He saw it as something fun and interesting—but also a way that he could make a real difference. He realized how little most people actually know about sex, and how education can correct so many harmful myths and misconceptions.

An opportunity to teach his own human sexuality class opened up the following year, and he took it. This time around, teaching was different—he was passionate about the subject and the students were, too. He had no problems with attendance. He ended up teaching this course six times before he graduated and eventually received a teaching award for it. He found that he loved being a sex educator.

He also found a solution to his public speaking anxiety: he started taking a beta-blocker (propranolol) on public speaking days, which removed physiological symptoms of anxiety. This allowed him to feel like himself in front of a crowd and, after just a few months, he no longer needed to take the medication—the anxiety had gone away completely.

He started conducting his own sex research, too, including a series of studies with Dr. Kelly on friends with benefits. His research skills improved and his studies started getting accepted instead of rejected.

He eventually landed a job at Colorado State University as an assistant professor, where he stayed for three years and continued his work as a sex educator and researcher. His partner couldn’t get a job in the area and had just taken a job in Boston, so Justin applied for every academic job within two hours of Boston. He was turned down for all of them. As a last-ditch effort, he applied for a teaching position at Harvard but had absolutely no confidence in it. He almost didn’t submit the application, but his partner encouraged him to do so. Justin had applied to Harvard’s PhD program previously and was rejected—if they didn’t want him as a student, why the heck would they want him as a teacher?

To his great surprise, he got the job at Harvard, where he stayed for three years. However, he had given up his tenure-track job in Colorado for a teaching position in Boston with no job security. So he decided to reinvent himself just in case things didn’t work out. In his spare time, he started a blog, wrote a human sexuality textbook, and became a freelance media writer. Communicating about sex science to the public became his hobby and was going to be his backup career in case the college professor thing didn’t work out.

Eventually, Justin’s partner wanted to move to Indianapolis for a job opportunity, so they left Boston. But Justin didn’t have a job at first and his backup plan wasn’t yet enough to be a full-time job. He knew the Kinsey Institute was nearby, so he drafted a letter to the director in the hope of establishing a connection, but he never sent it. He had a severe case of imposter syndrome and did not feel accomplished or experienced enough to have anything to do with what he saw as the premier hub for sex research in the world.

Much to his surprise, the associate director of the Institute reached out to him after he moved to Indiana to explore opportunities for working together. It was actually his hobby/backup plan that caught their eye—they were interested in working together to disseminate sex science to the public and were impressed with what he had done with his blog and social media.

Justin affiliated with Kinsey, but also jumped back on the tenure track with a job as the Director of the Social Psychology Program at Ball State University, which fortuitously opened up about 4 months after he moved to Indianapolis. After 3.5 years, he decided to leave full-time academics and do his own thing. His science communication hobby had managed to grow into a full-time job and it was no longer feasible to do that and academics. Plus, he found that the science communication work was really where his passion was. So, the backup plan officially became “the plan.”

Justin now spends every day finding new ways to help educate and inform the public about the science of sex. He’s still not sure how things ended up this way, but wouldn’t trade his current job for anything.

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Image Source: 123RF

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Sex Question Friday: What Is A Sexologist And How Do I Become One?

#sex education #sex research

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marystudies · 6 years

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A LONG ASS LIST OF TIPS FOR HIGH SCHOOL: FRESHMAN TO SENIOR YEAR LETS GO

Disclaimer: This is just from my experience, so these might not all apply to you!

Freshman Year

ok, ok, freshman year can be scary but don’t let that get to you

dont worry about upperclassmen being rude/teasing you

it’ll most likely happen, but I’ve never seen an upperclassman tease a freshman with the intention to really hurt them

one day you’ll be them so dw

on the topic of upperclassmen, make some older friends!!! (through classes, sports, etc.) it’s so nice to have someone give you tips and help you through high school

dont expect your friend group to stay the same lol

BUT ITS A GOOD THING I PROMISE YOU

I was scared of changing my friend group, so even though I wasn’t being treated too well, it wasn’t until senior year when I really made a change and I wish I did it earlier

be open to meeting new people, everyone is scared just like you and looking for more friends

I don’t think its neccessary for freshman to become sUPER involved in clubs and all that but at least get a feel for whats out there

try out for a sport if you play one!

this goes for all of high school, not just freshman year, but I regret not being as involved as I could’ve been

Go to school events like football games and dances! School spirit is considered weird in middle school but its cool in high school

take your classes seriously, your teachers are right - high school is much harder than middle school (but it’s not too bad if you stay organized!)

my freshman year GPA was my lowest like english really caught me off guard (properly formatted, 5 paragraph essays being 50% of your grade??? a concept.)

so my cumulative GPA was brought down

I think most freshman don’t have access to AP classes to boost your GPA or anything, but if you’re looking to push yourself take an honors class or 2! (if available)

Sophomore Year

wooohooo ur no longer a freshman

I’d take at least 1 AP class if you can

my sophomore year I took AP Human Geo - which I really loved, and it also wasn’t too hard

a lot of sophomores take AP World which is a BITCH of a class

BUT I wouldn’t recommend taking Honors World because you don’t get the GPA boost, you don’t get college credits (unless you take the AP Euro test or something), and it’s almost just as hard

this is a bit random - but when you’re taking Algebra 2 (which was my sophomore year) PLS PAY ATTENTION math builds on itself don’t fuck yourself over

take the PSAT if you want (I honestly don’t remember if I took it freshman year too but eh), but seriously its not required

start thinking about college (I know it’s the last thing you want to do)

just little things like

when do I want to take the SAT/ACT?

would I like a small school or a big school?

What will I be able to put on my college applications?

like if you do community service through a club/church/etc then great!!! sports? YEs

can’t think of anything? Join a club! Try out for a sport (it’s not too late) Find something that interests you

you’re probably pretty situated socially now but never be afraid to get to know those classmates/”school friends” better!

Junior Year

so junior year is commonly thought of as the hardest year of highschool

which is partially true (we’ll get there later)

but anyways, seriously buckle your seatbelt and get ready to work your ass off because THIS YEAR COUNTS, LADIES AND GENTS

Take AP classes if available

I took AP Psych (WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND) and Honors PreCalc (coming from regular Algebra 2)

Psych gave me college credit and a GPA boost

HPC gave me a GPA boost for UCs

It was a bitCH of a class but it made AP calc a breeze

If you haven’t started already, start prepping for SAT/ACT and then take them

tutoring is very helpful, but it can be expensive

I’ve seen studyblrs post about free prep through Kahn Academy and other stuff, so you might have to do a bit of digging but there are tons of resources out there

TAKE PRACTICE TESTS

take one of each first - then focus on the test you did better on

one of my biggest regrets is taking SAT prep instead of ACT prep because my ACT (which I didn’t do specialized prep for) ended up equivalent to my SAT (which I did prep for)

the more you take em the better you get

Studyblr is gr8 for finding test taking tips

If you’re not happy with your score, just take it again! I only took each one once but most people improve their scores if they take it again

I recommend visiting a few universities when you’re on break! Get a feel for what you like and what you don’t like (size, location, public/private, etc) and what kind of school you could get accepted to

you don’t want to end up applying to a billion schools that you wouldn’t even want to go to

private schools like it when you express interest by visiting

so if you’re visiting, make sure you check in so you can be in their system

END OF JUNIOR YEAR - ASK FOR LETTERS OF REC NOW! BY THE FIRST WEEK OF SENIOR YEAR A LOT OF TEACHERS ARE ALREADY TAKING ON TOO MANY LETTERS!

Senior Year (buckle up this section is the longest)

but YAY UR A SENIOR

DO FUN SENIOR YEAR THINGS like my school has all kinds of events for seniors and it’s so great

Remember when I said junior year is the hardest? Yeah well no... 1st semester senior year is SO MUCH WORSE ur in for a lot of fun

Ok seriously - don’t let senioritis get to you first semester

Still take challenging classes! Schools are looking for progression in difficulty

Those mid year transcripts REALLY DO MATTER!

College apps, man

Make sure you’re communicating with your counselor to make sure you have everything ready and on track

like file the FAFSA and CSS (used for lots of privates)

tbh I didn’t think it would help me a lot but it (the CSS) actually did so just do it even if you think you’ll get nothing

Ok so hopefully at this point you have a feel for what schools you are interested in

Things to consider: location, price, size, public/private, difficulty of the application, ranking, program/major you are applying to, campus, overall vibe

I didn’t do any interviews but maybe look into it

Don’t get too comfortable and set reasonable goals - apply to several safety schools, a few good options/could go either way schools, but also a few “reaches”

ESSAYS

I’m no college counselor, but don’t just wing your essays without having an adult/professional look over them

I got lucky - my mom is a professional writer so my family didn’t pay for a counselor

Do your research - you can find so much information about what schools are looking for in essays

If an essay is “optional” DO IT it’s really not optional lol

Keep in mind - these essays are nothing like what you’ve been taught. You don’t have to (and often SHOULDNT) write a 5 paragraph essay with topic sentences relating back to the thesis and evidence, etc. its much more free

think “What is the story I am going to tell?”

get creative - this is hard and takes some time

Think: How am I going to separate myself from thousands of applicants? What is a story that ONLY I can tell?

DO EARLY ACTION FOR AS MANY SCHOOLS AS POSSIBLE!!!

such a relief to knowing you got in somewhere in like,,,, november

acceptance rates are higher for EA

the order from highest to lowest is ED > EA > RD

Early Decision scares me (schools will say they give equal scholarship consideration but lol thats a lie)

but if you have your heart set on a school go ahead

apply to other school just in case, you don’t want to get stuck starting all your apps when a lot of students have already turned them all in

Now that you’re done with applications (whew), the acceptances (and rejection) will start coming!! yay!

ok first for acceptances

those first acceptances are so cool like YAY YOU GOT INTO COLLEGE IM PROUD OF U

as soon as you get your first acceptances really start researching the school more and deciding if you’d REALLY want to go there or not

i know this is hard bc you haven't heard back from all your schools but it’ll make choosing a school so much easier

sadly, not all acceptances are happy tho

like I got accepted to my #1 school but they gave me no money so it was impossible to go

I was so emo for a couple days there

BUT! If you’re serious about it, try appealing for financial aid but keep your expectations low

ok now waitlists

these can be a bit nerve wracking

PLEASE apply for the waitlist right away

at some schools if you dont within a couple days, your application might get thrown out

aaaaand rejections

i dont have a lot to say about this but please dont be too hard on yourself

sometimes its just not meant to be and thats ok!

NOW PICKING A COLLEGE

def the most difficult and mentally draining part for me lol

make sure you really map out everything to consider

net cost (tuition, room & board, books, travel, personal expenses, etc.), size, location, etc.

I personally had this idea that I’d end up at a big school far from home but I’m going to a small school close to home and I’m still super excited!!! So make sure you give every school a second look

APPLY FOR SCHOLARSHIPS!

the essays aren’t usually too bad and sometimes you can just rework your college app essays

you can find them online, your school might have some (like PTA scholarships, band scholarships, etc.)

ok this is the time everyone really gets senioritis

i almost didn’t get senioritis at all lol just because slacking off stressed me out

but please be smart about it dont get rescinded

and lastly have fun! high school really does fly by, it’ll be over before you know it

#lol the senior year part is so much longer than the others #studyblr #high school #high school tips #study tips #studyspo #study motivation

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zani-is-a-stan · 6 years

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my brother as a child exhibited symptoms of ADD/ADHD. he was evaluated and a was indeed diagnosed. my parents made a decision about treatment, and he moved forward to achieve academic success, placing on the honor roll for most of his post-elementary school education.

five years younger than him, I showed all of the same symptoms. my parents and teachers together decided that I had an attitude problem. my treatment was a half hour of mandatory prayer after school every day to help *me* figure out what was wrong with *me.* this took place in the family prayer room, which was stark white, undecorated, and I had to be alone in there.

this lasted for 5 years. in desperation, I was placed in a study group for kids with learning disabilities in my first semester of high school. I immediately placed on the honor roll. my parents reaction was that I was cured of my attitude problem, and pulled me out of the class.

I graduated high school with a C average. My brother had an A- average. he was accepted to ivy league schools. I was waitlisted for a college for 'alternative learning'.

in my thirties, I was diagnosed and began medication. i was accepted into my dream school, a school with a 7% acceptance rate, universally acknowledged as the best in the country for the course of study I chose.

and just a reminder, my brother and I had

EXACTLY

THE SAME

SYMPTOMS.

but I was a girl.

sometimes it makes me angry. fifteen years of my life, an opportunity to go to school at the 'normal' age and a whole other possible academic and financial future was stolen from me. the obvious infuriation is that my parents and teachers saw the same thing in a boy and a girl, but didn't diagnose the girl properly.

the other thing that frustrates me is that my experience makes it so clear to me that academic success in children lives and fails based on the support they get at home and in the classroom. neglectful parents? too bad, kid. shitty school district, teachers terrible? kids fail and no one cares. stay poor. the entire system by which I was judged and found wanting was judging me by things out of my control, and telling me that they were my personal fault anyway.

in the decade I worked before getting accepted to my dream program, I did well. really, really well. I got promoted. I pitched series, and they were picked up. every job I worked wanted me back. companies were starting to come looking for me. I made friends in every workplace that outlasted the position. I have a thriving marriage and a healthy kid.

*can you imagine* what I could have done if I had actually believed in myself in that decade? I *can't* imagine what would have happened to me if I hadn't found a spouse who believed in me the way mine does.

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etudias · 6 years

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(Edit: I am aware of the typo in the title, it should be experience)

Hi there, my name is Alessandra and I am going to tell y’all about how the whole college application process went for me. I think my experience ended a little differently than most, or at least most that people will share. It honestly took a lot for me to feel comfortable posting this so I really hope that it will help someone out there. It is however a very long post, so I am going to break it up into sections, feel free to read only what you need/want.

1. Researching Schools

I got excited for college. I was excited to go to college for as long as I can remember and was looking up different schools on site’s like the college board one, bigfuture, which by the way, I recommend, since probably 10th grade. So come Junior year I had a bunch of schools I was interested in. I ended up visiting a few in Boston over spring break that year. I visited Harvard, MIT, and Boston University (clearly my sights were set high). I did not really think it was that important to visit colleges, and that I should just visit the ones I got into to help decide (I now know that college visits can actually really help you get into a top school). The summer before senior year I worked hard to narrow down my list. I ended up with 12 schools that I applied to. This may seem like a lot to some, or not many at all to others. Most people I know applied to more like 5-8, but I know some people who applied to 20+, you gotta do what’s right for you. I wanted to apply to more honestly, but based on costs that is the number my mother and I agreed upon.

2. The Schools

Okay so in alphabetical order here are the schools I applied to:

Barnard College

Brown University

Carnegie Mellon University

Case Western Reserve University

Duke University

Georgia Institute of Technology

Harvard University

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Stanford

University of California - Berkeley

University of Georgia

University of Pennsylvania

So, some reasoning on my choices. I heard someone say something that I fully agreed with, and after everything still do. That you should apply to as many reach schools as you can because it raises the chances of getting into just one. So with that I applied to a bunch of reaches, a few meets, and 1 safety. The one safety school I decided on was because it was in state and in my state if you have a 3.75+ GPA and some other requirements, you get full tuition to in state schools and I knew that given the money, there was really no other school that I could consider a safety school that I would choose over it. I still stand by this choice.

3. My Stats

You are probably going to ask this and I’ve decided to be upfront and tell you because why the heck not. I sent in ACT scores, not SAT (although I did take it). I got a 32 (33 English, 33 Reading, 35 Science, 28 Math), I should have spent more time studying for the math as that score never changed, but it was my 3rd time taking the test and I was over it, my goal had been a 33, but to me that was close enough because I was tired. My GPA was a 3.875 unweighted and a 4.063 weighted. My school did not offer many AP courses, I took all that I could with the exception of 2 history courses that I had strong reasons for not taking and when I had my Harvard interview and I talked with the lady about it, she wholeheartedly agreed and said that as the counselor of her private school she even made her school stop offering those courses, so yeah I feel pretty valid about that. (Ended up taking 7 AP’s if you are curious about which ones, they are on my about page) I basically got all A’s in my academics, my B’s came from some arts classes and health, I know, I know. I’m going to briefly mention my school in this section because it is sort of related. I went to a public arts high school that is ranked number 2 in the state for academics and 75th in the nation. It was extremely rigorous.

4. Extracurricular’s and other application stuff

I was very involved. I participated in theater for all 5 years (my school was 8-12). I did technical theater and by 10th grade was crew head for shows and in 11th grade I worked every show (which at my school was a lot). Senior year I became a stage manager which is a big responsibility and sort of like being a president of a club, but even more responsibility. I calculated the hours I spent with theater junior year alone, 300 hrs. I was also very involved in orchestra, all 5 years. My school has 4 orchestra levels, the first two comprising the lower orchestra, 3&4 comprising the higher level orchestra, based on skill level, not age. I was in orchestra 2 for 8th and 9th grade, orchestra 3 for 10th and 11th grade, and orchestra 4 for senior year, orchestra 4 was a big deal, with only 11 members and you played not only in the higher level orchestra but also the touring orchestra. Lots of hours. I also played in my county’s honor’s orchestra for 2 years. I was on the executive board (basically president) of my schools National Honor Society (our school only opens it to seniors, so I was only in it for 1 year). I was part of Beta Club for 4 years. I was a math tutor. I founded a Girls Who Code club at my school and taught it. I was in our award winning mock trial for 2 years. I was a member of my schools Gay Straight Alliance. I babysat all throughout high school. I did more than that but this is already long enough and you can tell that basically, I was a try hard.

Let’s talk about summers. The summer after 10th grade I went to a 7 week long summer immersion program for coding called Girls Who Code. The summer after junior year I went to a week long orchestra camp, then my states Governor’s Honor’s program, which in my state is very prestigious and hard to get into (I think its like a 10% acceptance rate). I was a software engineering major and a math minor there. (Those are really the summers that count, but all other summers I went to orchestra camp)

More application stuff, I had a fair amount of school awards as well as the aforementioned Governor’s Honor’s. I got recommendations from my pre calculus teacher, who I founded a Girls Who Code club with, and my world history/ap psych teacher. They both loved me and I’m sure wrote great recommendations (with the exception of UGA where I did not send any). All the schools I had interviews with went extremely well. I was a legacy for Duke. I had an alumni friend write an AMAZING letter of rec for CMU. I felt my essays were strong (and checked by 3 or so people).

My major: I basically applied everywhere as a computer science major. I felt good about this with the way I spent my summers, some of my extracurricular, and classes I chose to take. I wrote a fair amount of essays about this and I feel as though my applications demonstrated the work I had put into bringing more people (especially women) into STEM, specifically cs, and my interests and knowledge of cs.

5. The Decisions

Finally the good part right? Well at least for you readers. I’ll go in order of the decisions (although towards the end I forget the order a bit because it was tech week and show weeks for my schools biggest production, I was busy) and add some commentary on some. (All regular decision unless otherwise noted)

MIT (Early Action) - rejected, it hurt a little being my first, but not unexpected

Case Western (Early Action) - deferred, then waitlisted, then rejected, everyone from my school got the exact same decisions from them and there were people from the bottom of my class to the very top lol

University of Georgia - accepted, oh boy I cried because finally thank goodness somewhere at least

Georgia Tech - waitlisted, then rejected, this one still stings, people with all around weaker applications from my school got in that applied early. the acceptance rate dropped from 40% to 8% between early and regular, biggest regret is not applying here early, once I was waitlisted here I felt for sure I wouldn’t get in anywhere else

Barnard College - waitlisted, still waiting to hear. at this point i just felt like I was getting waitlisted everywhere

Harvard - rejected, expected as are basically the rest of these

U Penn - rejected

Brown - rejected

UC Berkeley - rejected

Duke - rejected, but damn that letter I’m still mad about, like the fact the I got rejected was unsurprising at that point, but they sent me 3 long paragraphs of rejection bc I was a legacy saying how sorry they were and how many times they reconsidered my application. One sentence would have been better.

Stanford - rejected

CMU - rejected, and man I knew it was coming but it was the last school I heard from, my last hope, and it was closing day for my last school musical, this was a bad day, not so much for this one school but just the process in general

6. Reflections

So I got into 1 school, yup just 1. My safety school that��s it. Let me tell you I was devastated, not over any particular school, but that I didn’t get into any others. I ate 4 donuts and cried a whole lot the day of that last rejection. I got really REALLY stuck on the fact that I would only ever read that one acceptance letter, that one congratulations. I moped around and was sad and upset with my self and full of regrets like why did I not apply to more schools, it was a bad time. But let me tell you that time really showed my what good some friends could be, friends really helped me through that. Even though I had only one school I waited till the last minute to commit. So yes, fall 2018 UGA here I come, go dawgs! (and really its not a bad school, especially the honors program) I worked really hard to get myself excited for this school and as much as I am, with the major I want to go into, I know it is in my best interests to transfer, no matter how much I do not like the idea of transferring (its a good school don’t get me wrong, just not the best for my major). I am still trying to come to terms with the idea of transferring and honestly this whole process in general. I do not think I would have done things much differently, I put my best into my applications, honestly if I changed anything I would have just applied to more schools and probably only more reaches or meet/reaches at that. I have come to accept the decisions (mostly, I still get quite down about it from time to time). It was an odd year for decisions at my school in general. We usually send a good amount of students to top top schools like ivies and the equivalent, but this year no one got into any, heck our valedictorian is going to UGA too. (I think it has something to do with our class being super strong overall, 50% had a 4.0+ weighted, so therefore none of us really stood out) So yeah it really freaking hurts only getting into one school, I’m pretty sure I went through all the stages of grief, but now I am in acceptance and just getting excited for college!! and I am SO EXCITED

If anyone has any questions about this process, my inbox is open.

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brittanyyoungblog · 4 years

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The True Story of How I Became a Sex Educator and Researcher

Official Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

Unofficial Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

Image Source: 123RF

You Might Also Like:

How Do You Become a Sex Researcher?

So You Want To Be A Science Blogger? Here’s What You Need To Know

Sex Question Friday: What Is A Sexologist And How Do I Become One?

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wannabeteacherstuff · 4 years

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TaLK 2020 August Intake Timeline

So, with the newest information posted for the program, I wanted to post a timeline of everything so far. This might be helpful for someone down the line when things haven’t gone crazy with COVID in the world.

Granted, this is how everything has went so far with intake being pushed back due to the reduction in positions available, as well as my own slight adjustments I made to be able to have everything ready in a timely fashion.

July 2019 - Received my passport!

October 2019 - I gave the letter of recommendation forms to my manager of my current employer and to my college algebra teacher to give them enough time to fill everything out given holiday season was coming up for retail.

December 2019 - I started getting my documents together that I needed for the background check to send after Christmas season. These didn’t take long and I have a post on how I did my fingerprints myself for the CRC background check. I also was given my first letter of recommendation from my professor at my school after my final exam.

January 2020 - Sent in my background check around Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so the whole process of getting my background check as well as the apostille took a bit longer than usual (I know many people now, in June 2020, are waiting 30+ days for them now). My CRC with apostille was received around the end of January.

March 3, 2020 - My manager gave me my letter of recommendation finally. I also managed to get mid-term grades as this was my last semester of my associates degree, and would not have my final ones until May.

March 6, 2020 - I was finally able to apply to my office, Houston. I submitted everything online that was needed. I received an email confirming my application was submitted to my local office. I was called that same day and was informed of what they needed to set up my interview. I already had everything except my final transcripts, so I was able to ship everything to Houston same day.

March 9, 2020 - I was called when my package was delivered. Being honest, it was 10:30am, I was still in my pajamas, I was tired and didn’t know what was going on. They had everything they needed, but were slightly concerned with my transcripts as I only had 49 credits. A quick confirmation I would be graduating in May helped smooth the situation, and I was set up with an interview at 13:30, the same day.

My first interview was under 10 minutes. I was tomato red the whole time. As soon as they ended the call I wanted to cry from anxiety, and I was called again. They were recommending me to Seoul, my documents would be scanned in to be looked at, and I would be emailed about my second interview soon. Excitement. I cried. I did get two emails confirming my application status AND completion of my interview on March 9, 2020. It does seem like those who apply in offices other than Seoul get these two emails if they pass their first interview.

This was where things got a bit anxiety inducing.

March 31, 2020 - I emailed the head office due to not hearing anything about a second interview and it seemed a bit odd since I was told I would hear back within a week. I sent this email, and that same day TaLK head office informed me they did not have any documents on file for me. Heart attack.

April 3, 2020 - I had emailed my local office but ended up calling them around 11am because I was agonizing over everything. They were amazing. They realized they misplaced my documents, but they located them and scanned everything then, apologizing for the mix up. I emailed the head office again later in the day to confirm my documents had been received okay.

April 4, 2020 - TaLK emailed me back to inform me of the arrival of my documents, and to expect an email booking for my second interview within a week.

April 6, 2020 - My email booking came in, I booked for April 8, 2020, for 20:30 central time. I got a confirmation of booking and waited. The time slot was confirmed the same day!

April 7, 2020 - I was sent a reminder about my interview and to make sure I was on Skype as they would message me about 5 minutes beforehand to ensure they had the right Skype name for me. My interview started a bit late, but it lasted 33 minutes, and then I was told they would inform me of the final decision soon.

May 2020 - Nothing happened from TaLK, mostly speculation as things got worse within Korea due to spread of COVID and we knew intake would be effected. I graduated with honors with my Associates! I put in my request for final transcripts, which I received around May 28 and I sent them to my local office on June 1.

June 3, 2020 - I got a call a few minutes before 9:30am letting me know my final transcripts had been accepted, as well as being scanned to head office that day. I was done with my documents.

Which brings us to;

June 9, 2020 - TaLK sent an email giving applicants a few options. Continue to be processed for August intake, which seems to be less than 20 positions at the moment but this is purely speculation. Waitlist for August, with option for Spring 2021 intake, just needing to resend an updated CRC with apostille. Defer entirely to Spring 2021 with your documents being kept, same situation with the CRC and apostille. Complete pull of your application with need to submit new documents entirely for future applications.

I went ahead and emailed back with my decision to continue with August intake as they have everything they need from me, with absolute acceptance of deferment to Spring 2021 intake if I do not make it in August.

That’s the situation as it stands now. I hope everyone who reads this got a bit of help and my inbox is always open for questions.

Good luck!

#south korea #talk #talk korea #tefl

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academla · 7 years

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Update

Hey guys! Thought I would post a new update. For new followers, if you exist, I’m mostly inactive here, but I will periodically post comprehensive updates on various areas of my life (academics, money, mental health, etc.). Guys, my life has been CRAZY busy!

Academic

I’m taking five courses, three on campus and two online. So far, I’ve been maintaining A’s, but my honors ethics seminar is going to be the death of me, I swear. The amount of reading, higher-level thinking, and work for that class is the most intense I’ve experienced. In a way it’s good, because it’s the first time I’ve been seriously challenged in an enjoyable and productive way (statistics does not count, because that professor was awful). Deep down I enjoy it, even though it’s buried under layers of saltiness and resentment of all these philosophers for writing such damn long essays.

My current courses are:

Abnormal Psychology

Classics of Children’s Literature

Honors Ethics & Society

Child Psychology (online)

History of World Civilizations Before 1500 (online)

I’ve been right up to the deadlines in all of these classes (if you keep reading, you’ll get an earful of my schedule) but so far managing the stress and workload reasonably well. I enjoy some stress, honestly. I like when things are fast-paced.

I also met with my advisor today. Great news: I only have four more courses and one 1-credit seminar left to take next semester before I can get my Associate’s. The classes I have signed up for are:

Psychology of Personality

Research Methods

General Biology (online and on-campus lab)

History of World Civilizations After 1500 (online)

Interdisciplinary Weekend (not sure what the topic is yet)

The end is slightly in sight. I can’t believe I’m almost 3/4 of the way to my first degree! So exciting. Which brings me to my next topic...

College

My default is UMass Amherst. I’m in the Commonwealth Honors College, and the community college to state school process is basically a smooth transition with guaranteed acceptance. Additionally, there are a lot of research opportunities, labs, etc. which is good for me being a psych major interested in research.

However, I’d still like to potentially try for a private school. I probably won’t get the money I need, but hey, it never hurt to try. In 2015, I got into Simmons College and fell in love with it. I got the highest merit scholarship possible, but we couldn’t afford it. I’d still like to apply there again, on the off chance that I could get the money I need.

I’ve also been in contact with people at Northeastern. I hadn’t considered it until I went to a transfer fair at my community college. They have a neat co-op program and are in the city, which is nice.

I was waitlisted at Brandeis in 2015, and I’m waiting to talk to people from there as well, because I might consider looking into that. My intro and abnormal psych professor suggested Wellesley. It looks quite competitive, though one advisor I met with said she thought I could get in with my transcript... but I don’t know. It honestly all boils down to money. If anyone is familiar with Massachusetts schools, please feel free to email me [email protected] with your weigh-ins and suggestions, or any contacts that you think could help advise me in this process. I’d appreciate it for sure!

Work

Ah, good old work. Well. We know I’m struggling all day every day financially. Luckily, I’ve been making about $50 per month with school and life costs. Which is better than just losing money all month.

I’m currently working two jobs. I work at the preschool full days (8-6) on Fridays, and I’ve started working mornings when I can as well, especially since we’ve lost 5 teachers there in the past month and they really need me. I’m a writing peer tutor so I tutor 2-4 Monday through Wednesday. Additionally, I’m starting an unpaid internship which will be Wednesday mornings. Altogether, my schedule is cram-jammed full of work, and I’m constantly moving around, but I don’t mind it. It’s exhausting, absolutely, but... well, it’s money. I need it. I also babysit on weekends when I can. And do school on top of that.

It sounds like a lot, I guess. It doesn’t feel like too much though. I mean, it does, but like I said, I’m managing. I’m also repeating myself. I’ve been trying to sleep as much as I can, and I’ve been doing a relatively good job, all things considered.

Mental health

I’ve had a couple breakdowns, but that’s it, this semester. One was an intense anxiety attack brought on by a pop quiz announcement (come to find out my professor never gave the quiz, and it wasn’t really a ‘quiz,’ it was optional) and the other was triggered by a presentation on eating disorders and the ED unit in abnormal psych. I persevered.

With the anxiety attack, my professor told me that I didn’t need to worry about class and I was doing well (ha! This is that hellish ethics seminar. I’m dying) and I was able to move on from that. With the ED stuff...

It’s still been hard. In times of stress, the ED voice comes back. I have been eating, because I need food to fuel my busy days, and I’d rather be nourished and not look the way I want but be successful than fall back into a trap in which I’m miserable, unhealthy, and would eventually end up in the hospital again, which is totally counterintuitive to my academic endeavors.

The presentation was particularly triggering, and there were a lot of tears. I skipped the next class with permission, because it was going to be a continued lecture on EDs. I emailed my prof helplessly because I tried to study the ED chapter and just fell apart.

But I rallied, somehow, and I managed to get through it all, kick ass at overcoming my triggers and ED voice, and ace the test. That’s a victory! I am getting stronger every day, even though I struggle.

Social

There have been boys here and there, like glimmers of potential which quickly faded, but my love life is as always nonexistent. As if I would have time to date now anyway.

I’ve got friends and nobody seems to be particularly hostile towards me in my classes. I rarely hang out. My socializing usually primarily involves homework, studying, and food.

I’ve only just returned to Snapchat, so hit me up edye327. Anyway, obviously I’ve been inactive here, and it’s oddly nice.

For awhile, this was my life. I had nothing else to take up my headspace, so toxic dramas with internet people did. Now, I could care less about online dramas and people and stress. Ain’t nobody got time for those hijinks when I’m working my ass off in real time and real life for real money and real ambitions!

Financial

This has already basically been covered, but yeah, doing okay financially. Not losing money, which is really the best I could hope for. I’m relying on full time work during the winter to boost my bank account some more.

I rarely pleasure shop. My money goes towards:

School payments

Food

Medical copays

Exciting things like shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, etc.

Freecycle has been fantastic! I’ve gotten so much awesome free stuff there and probably saved like $100 by now. I asked for correction tape, and ended up getting like 10 of them plus a set of highlighters the woman kindly threw in.

I’m trying to declutter, and I sold one of my calculators online, which was incredibly helpful money-wise. I’m ransacking my room slowly but surely to try and give away or sell items. Like I said, my Zazzle shop is pretty meager income (I need $50 to even get paid; I have made $25 in the past over a year lol) but like I also said, every penny counts. Eventually I’ll hit the threshold, hopefully.

If you read all the way through to the end, send me a photo or screenshot on the Snapchat of this post ;) or reply to this with your favorite kind of candy. Or just like it, or reblog it, or do absolutely nothing.

Thanks for all your support. Hope my update has been somewhat inspiring or at least remotely interesting to you!

Love, Edye

#academla blogs #update #academlets #studyblr

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storiesfromanaxiousfreshman · 4 years

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Rejection is Okay

(This is sort of long so if you to skip some parts start at the orientation portion)/

I feel like this is something that we are told often but don’t really take it to heart. Rejection is okay.

Whether you are someone who struggled with academics in high school, or if you are in the top 5 percent of your class, you will face rejection.

I was ranked amongst the top 5 percent in the country, had 400 hours of community service, and was a part of multiple honors societies; yet I was still rejected by almost all the schools I applied for. In a matter of months I went from being a confident academic to someone who simply had the label “UC Reject”. And for a long time, that tore me apart.

My family had already told friends and peers that their daughter was heading to a top school and I had to sit in front of everyone at my graduation party and tell them that I wasn’t wanted. Along with that, I saw almost all my friends, AP classmates, and even some of my enemies get into their dream schools, my dream schools. I hate to say it now but I was angry; angry at my friends for being so happy, angry at my family to for adding such high expectations and angry at myself for not being good enough. And I allowed those negative feelings to eat at me for months.

Then college decision day came and I had to make a choice. I went with my safety school, and as my parents cheered and gave their congratulations, I bitterly sat staring at the screen praying that I would get an email stating that I got off the waitlist of my dream schools.

And then, orientation hit.

I was in the first orientation session made up of mainly the student athletes and honors program students and since this was the first time my school had online orientation, it wasn’t going to smoothly. Though, I tried to participate where I could. Let me tell you though, you will be amazed in how many amazing people you meet in orientation. Now, do I think I met any life-long friends? Probably not we were all awkward.But through the icebreakers and surveys I was happy to see how humbled and varied out student population is.

Some people that I have met or know that are going to higher ranking schools have this sense of superiority where anyone not going to this school is below them, and I watched in fear as some of my very own friends started to develop this mindset.

Yet, I was relieved to see that so many fellow freshman at my school came from different backgrounds and shared the need to work with others. True to my school’s pride in diversity, I was happy to see our differences and similarities. For some this was their safety school. Or they were first gen learning on their own. And to my surprise, my school was actually a goal for many people.

Through orientation, and rejection, I realized something about myself that I am honestly not very proud to say. I was just like those I was jealous of.

I placed myself on a pedestal where I expected to get what I wanted because I accomplished a lot in high school and this false superiority is what brought me down. I didn’t pay attention to other deserving factors that allowed my peers to be accepted to their dream schools, which caused me to ignore their own incredible accomplishments. I needed to get rejected in order to cleanse myself of this mindset, and appreciate what my rejection has brought me. I an still going to a UC. I am still able to go to college. I can still be successful.

I will admit, I am not exactly where I want to be just yet. But I now have a better understanding of what I can do now that I have a starting point.

I am a UC Reject. And that’s okay.

Now, if you got into your dream school, I hope you don’t take any offense to this. Nor do I hope this gives you a feeling of “well at least I am better than her”, because if you believe that, you are setting yourself up for an even bigger rejection.

And if you are a fellow “reject”, I welcome you. You will do just fine. Just focus on what you have or want to accomplish, and work from there.

Sincerely,

A UC Reject

#uc #university #college #college fresman #school #tips #advice #academics #college rejections #rejections #collegetips #study tips #self accepectance

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survivingfroshyr · 5 years

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Application and Admission

“I plan for my next post to be about my application and admission process; how, when, and where I applied; where I was accepted, what I thought about the colleges, what I was looking for, etc. Then, I’ll be documenting my post-commitment journey so far, and in the future!” (from my last post)

So, here’s how my admission process kind of went, the results, and why I decided on Smith College!

Applications

In about October of my senior year, we began working on our Common App essays in my AP Literature and Composition class. Our teacher helped us brainstorm, draft, edit, and finalize our essays, and we had many chances to have them peer reviewed and peer edited. It was very structured and I found it incredibly helpful, mostly because it kept me on-schedule. I wrote about being in my high school’s inaugural orchestra as the only cellist (there were only, say, 9 kids in orchestra) even though I hadn’t played since fifth grade. I’m a generally good writer, although I tend to overuse commas and have an issue with the whole “show don’t tell” thing.

I did not have class time or assistance from my teacher while writing my supplemental essays. I pushed them off--way, way off. If I could change one thing about my application process, it would be how much time I put into it. My supplemental essays all got finished very last minute, like I’m talking a week or even days before the deadline. I was so stressed about them and I didn’t feel like I was letting myself shine through because I just didn’t give myself enough time to work on them. If I had started earlier, I would have been much happier with them.

I submitted all my applications last-minute through the Common App to nine schools, all of which I had visited and liked about the same amount, with Vassar and Smith being my top choices and UMass Amherst being at the bottom.

I didn’t do any interviews before applying, which is a big regret of mine. I was under the impression that you had to have applied to do an interview. I don’t know where I got that idea from, but that’s what I thought, and as I didn’t get my applications in until right up to each school’s deadline, lots of schools’ interview periods were almost over. The only interview I did was with Dartmouth, with an alum who had never done an interview before, but it went well! I wish that I had done more at more schools that were between safety and reach schools.

As for my application, here are some things that probably looked good on paper:

above a 4.0 GPA (weighted, including art, religion, and phys ed classes)

hispanic/latina and female

both parents have a graduates degree

went to a college prep school and was still ranked high in my class

6 AP classes (Language and Composition, Calculus AB, US History my Junior year; Literature and Composition, French Language and Culture, and Calculus BC my Senior year) - passed all 3 Junior year exams, with high scores except US History (the devil’s class imo)

had plenty of art credits (4.75 credits - 9.5 semesters’ worth)

math, science, foreign language, social studies, and English all 4 years

French and honor roll awards

high SAT composite score

volunteered at school events, though not much outside of school (regrettably)

ran cross country for 3 years (though I was the worst on the JV team lol) and did the school musical for 4, and was part of the inaugural orchestra

Schools

In a college, I was looking for liberal arts schools, mostly smaller, with a good reputation and a good math department. I looked in New England and New York. I didn’t know what I wanted to major in (I still don’t), but I know I enjoy math and care about social issues and wanted a generally liberal school with a strong LGBT+ community, varied courses, smaller class sizes, and close teacher-student relationships.

Here’s where I applied, my thoughts, and the result.

Vassar College - reach school - my top choice, beautiful campus, newly redone dining hall, great academics and reputation, small town, detached, far from home - denied acceptance

Dartmouth College - reach school - I liked the quarter system and sophomore summer idea, also detached and kind of isolated, gorgeous location, great outdoors program - denied acceptance

Mount Holyoke College - safety school - small, all women’s (which I was open to but not specifically looking for), seemed humanities-oriented, pretty - accepted

Smith College - small, all women’s, more STEM-oriented than Mnt Holyoke I felt, botanical gardens!, great downtown, close to my uncle and his family, good first-year programs - accepted & committed

Wellesley College - all women’s, VERY focused on female empowerment and diversity (which is a plus but I felt like at least my tour guide overlooked academics to talk about it), nice school and similar to others I saw but didn’t really wow me in any way, my mom’s alma mater - waitlisted

Williams College - reach school - pretty campus, great service and research opportunities, blended in to me a little like Wellesley - denied acceptance

UMass Amherst - safety school - HUGE (downside for me), tons of class choices, great facilities, super cheap for me because I live in MA and my mom works in the UMass system - accepted

Skidmore College - Saratoga Springs was an amazing location (like the best of any of the colleges imo), arts-oriented, good dining, good study-abroad programs, good first-year programs - accepted

Boston College - very near home, bigger, seemed less personal than Skidmore or Smith or Mnt Holyoke, a little more athletics-focused (but not overly so), good first-year programs - accepted

Decision Making

After hearing back from all the schools, I decided it was between Smith, Skidmore, and Boston College. It was an incredibly difficult decision for me, and what really helped was the accepted students’ days/revisiting the school.

I attended Skidmore’s accepted students’ day first. I had a great time and really enjoyed how much focus was put on a liberal arts education and the arts themselves. A psyche professor also gave a mock lecture to the entire group, so even though it was a huge group of people listening and I know nothing about psychology, it was engaging and fun. I also took a bus tour of Saratoga Springs, which was a huge draw to the school. It’s a great location, and with most of Saratoga’s big crowd-drawing events in the summer, there was plenty to do and places to go without it being really crowded during the school year. After the accepted students’ day, I was thinking it would be impossible to decide on a school.

Then I attended Boston College’s “Admitted Eagles’ Day.” There were a ton of people and I felt the presentations focused more on academics than on teacher-student connections. I’d also heard that BC’s housing was pretty bad, and I wasn’t able to see a dorm room because they only had a few open and there was a giant line. Still, the proximity to both Boston and home was a huge draw for me, and I was still absolutely torn about where to go. I still had no idea where I was going to end up committing.

I wasn’t able to go to Smith’s accepted students’ days because of timing issues and upcoming AP exams, but I stayed with my uncle and aunt (who works at Smith) in Northampton for a night and saw Smith again anyways. My cousin, who is the same age as me but spends tons of time on campus because of my aunt’s job, gave me a quick tour of downtown Northampton and the campus, and then we parted ways. One of my childhood best friends is in the class of ‘22, so I sat in on her math class, grabbed lunch in a dining hall with her, chatted, and saw her dorm.

I really felt drawn to the atmosphere at Smith. It was similar to Skidmore’s, but I felt like there was more focus on STEM subjects (which may just have been my perception, but that’s how I felt). There was obvious LGBT+ presence and students of color making their voices heard, and my friend told me about tons of great events that she had attended in her first semester and the beginning of her second semester. She told me about all the upperclassmen friends she had made and how they helped her get an internship and how she loved her astronomy professor and advisor. I felt like she really enjoyed being at Smith, and I just had such a gut feeling that it was the right place for me, too. I went home and immediately knew that that’s where I was going to commit. My mom said she could tell from the first time I toured it back in my junior year of high school.

#college #university #journal

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