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#and i largely don't interact with them either
sysig · 8 months
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Hey, those look familiar! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#I decided to go back and give a second chance to the scrapped outfits - and then since I still had more I'd made for funsies I did those too#Everyone gets another go around! Lol#It really was the scrapped outfits that started it tho - I was still very much of the silhouette mindset and I wanted to see how they fared#A mixed bag! Which is about what I expected tbh#I was the most pleased with the way over-scalloped design lol who could've guessed ♪ But it Does have the strongest silhouette!#Like yeah okay capes and capes - the Little Red and Queen designs do nothing for me because they start too high#Obviously I wasn't thinking about how her modified wings would interact with her outfit until later but they're a very important element!#A cape kinda defeats the purpose of the wings or becomes self-defeating lol#Either it enhances the silhouette behind her - which the wings are meant to do - or they cover her wings completely#Or in the worst case there's a slot for her wings to poke through and she gets tangled in both lol#There's themes there but it's not the visual I want! Haha ♪#Tails are probably the strongest silhouette I can work in that won't conflict with her wings but hmmm I'm still unconvinced#Which is a shame! That's one of the oldest design elements that I wanted to integrate!#A large collar also keeps making a reappearance but I still don't know how to make it less clunky lol#Returning to the digital outfits was fun too :) Since I never doodled them on paper and all#Drawing her with those metal shine lids is really fun too hehe ♪#I think my favourite is still the Ren Faire outfit :) It just looks so comfy! I'd wear that irl haha
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bowithoutadaemon · 1 month
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... It took me AN ENTIRE DAY to realize that maybe just maybe the status of my order being set to "Abgeschlossen" (translates to concluded or finished or well it can also mean locked if you are talking about a door) could possibly mean the order has been delivered.
Of course now it's 2am and the store I use as a drop off point is closed.
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shsl-heck · 2 years
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tumblr has this really weird thing where expressing frustrations with a class of people who are privileged in some way is considered just as bad (worse even) than a person from that privileged group actively punching down and/or hurting you and your community
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heritageposts · 4 months
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large zionist blocklist below
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i've compiled a list of all the blogs positively interacting with the @/israel-palestine-bingo blog
there's more info about how the names were complied under the read more, but just to get an idea of how vile the blog is, i just want to quickly mention that the first prize offered in their pinned post, "eight hours of memi mamtera," is the song used in the viral israeli tiktok trend of kidnapping, humiliating, and torturing palestinians in the west bank.
and the "grand prize," which needs no explanation, is "all of palestine! for free!"
some quick info: all the names here have either approvingly replied to, reblogged from, or liked one or more of @/israel-palestine-bingo's posts. for likes, i've only gathered names that appear under their original posts; mostly ones that have not been reblogged, and some with 2-3 reblogs that have not left the immediate sphere of zionists. i've also made sure that these are blogs who have either liked more than one posts from them, or who frequently reblogs from other zionists.
you can also quickly look through the blog yourself (it doesn't have that many posts), or check out any of the names on the list with a quick 'israel' or 'palestine' in the search bar or their blogs.
there are more screenshots at the end of the posts, including ones showing who made the blog (ani-lo-daredevil / katenotbishop), and the bingo board itself (ashenpumpkin).
blocking tip: fastest way to mass block users (on desktop) is to go to settings -> the blog your blocking them from -> scroll all the way down to 'blocked tumblrs,' and then copy-paste the name your blocking
names listed below in alphabetical order reminder again, block don't engage
2peachy acleverforgery ani-lo-daredevil apollo-enthusiast ashenpumpkin <- credited for making the bingo board, reblogged/liked almost all of their posts. aureatecorvid avi-on-jumblr (main @/clear-what-i-was-seeing) awstheticshit bambahalva bleepiesheepie bluenorther blueredfetch bones-and-crows britneysmeanshirt cannibalism-is-my-love-language captain-navii casavanse celepito chubbybubba ciitrus--fruitz coffeelovinggayidiot da-socks davos-is-the-one-true-king dchan87 disregardenedgnostic elder-millennial-of-zion faggotry-enjoyer fdelopera flowercrownsandfairylights fluffel677 fluffy-art-moss george-lucas-is-god got-chavi icereader12 illegitimatetenenbaum inklingm8 its-hila jewishlivesmatter just-illegal karinhasdacookie
katenotbishop <- the main account of the person running the blog. her sideblog is @/ani-lo-daredevil
kelluinox kingofslush letaot-ze-magniv lingonberryjamistakenwhat lovelyhairedpianist magic-coffee marrymepadfoot marvel-ous-posts masters-puddle <- pornblog mixmangosmangoverse morganas-simp mossadspydolphin multifandermissesanakin nameless370 namiko026 nevleg32 notcrazyiswear oakstar519 perfectlynormalperson psychologeek queerius randomname3 redvodyanoi rhysaka sally006 sbinklebooper scp-1296 shinekocreator <- commented, 'but is this the 8 hour version?' on a post where someone ''won'' the song used in the tiktok torture videos. snakelung sort-of-a-demon soxiyy stuffandatherstuff tearsandice tedious-waffle thebejeweledwatercat the-library-alcove thirdmagic thisgingerhasnosoul timegirl tolaat-bli-toelet <- the person running the bingo blog. mainblog is @/katenotbishop transmascpetewentz tribulation-of-somnolence unexistencerpg viktorrotkiv wanderingmadscientist whiterose-blackrose whitesunlars why5x5
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note: @/tolaat-bli-toelet changed her username to @/ani-lo-daredevil (her main is still @/katenotbishop)
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and from the same post,
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the last post was also reblogged by the creator of the israel-palestine-bingo blog
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hannieehaee · 3 days
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ARE WE STILL FRIENDS
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18+ / mdi
summary: being besties with two of the most popular idols in korea always came with a few rumors here and there, but what happened when one of your platonic besties suddenly started acting a little friendlier than usual? or worse, what happened when they both turned their affections to you?
content: idol!au, hybeidol!reader x idol!mingyu, hybeidol!reader x idol!jungkook, 97liner!reader, friends2lovers, not mingyu x jk (they just share u like all besties would<3), not that much plot, afab reader, smut, oral (f and m receiving), body worship, fingering, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 8.2k (10k+ including kofi/patreon exclusive drabble)
a/n: the teaser for this got way more attention than i was expecting lol i hope u guys enjoy the final product!!
masterlist | kofi/patreon
support me through a one time tip<3
"Do you think the company would get mad if we did a live together right now?", Jungkook pondered out loud as the three of you sat on different pieces of furniture around his large living room.
"Yeah."
"They didn't seem to mind when Jungkook and I did it that one time," disagreed Mingyu.
"Yeah, but I'm the girl. I'm the one who wakes up to new dating rumors every time we hang out publicly."
"Yeah, but people must know we're just friends by now, right? It's been years."
That much was true.
You weren't sure of the exact date, but your friendship with both boys predated the overall international success of Kpop as of recent years. When you had met both boys, they had barely battled their way through puberty – though you weren't faring any better at the time.
The media enjoyed making the three of you a subject, knowing that you were evidently the closest out of all members of the popular 97s friend group. Being the only girl integrant, it was common for people to have the misconception that you were romantically involved with either Mingyu or Jungkook, seeing as you were often spotted in public with them.
You'd gotten used to the rumors and hate that came attached to being their friend, now usually leaving those things in the back burner rather than letting them bother you. By now, the three of you were a bit more careless about being seen together. Being seniors in the industry, those things didn't matter much to you anymore, but being seen inside Jungkook's house would surely stir up the worst rumors to date, so going live with him was entirely out of the question.
It did bother you sometimes; the double standard. While Jungkook and Mingyu could even interact in public or mention each other freely, any time you did so you were met with hate from either fandom, sometimes even your own. It also made you worry about your future. Could you ever be in a relationship without facing the brunt of all the hate that would come your way? At 26 years of age, it was a frustrating reality to think about.
Jungkook got up at some point to go fetch some more bottles of soju. Apparently the seven bottles the three of you had drank collectively weren't enough for the large men you were drinking with.
While Jungkook was gone, Mingyu got up from his seat on the couch opposite to you and took a seat down next to you, invading your personal space like he usually did.
"Worrying your pretty little head about something?", asked Mingyu as he leaned over you, taking the occasional sip from his drink.
"It's nothing."
"C'mon, what's up?", his hand ran up and down your arm in a soothing manner.
Invading your space and being overly touchy usually meant that he was tipsy. But to be fair, you were a bit tipsy too.
"Do you ever think about dating?"
"Who? You?", he chuckled.
"No, dumbass. I mean in general."
He seemed to sober up a little at the mention of the subject, straightening up a bit as he sat sideways on the couch so he could look at you fully.
"What's got you thinking about that?"
"I don't know ... I'm 26 now. Isn't it time I started settling down? Have someone filling up the other half of the bed," you pondered, feeling a bit pathetic as you did so.
Mingyu let out a quiet sound of confusion, eyebrows furrowed and head leaning to the side in question.
"Isn't that what me and Jungkook are for?"
Not taking him seriously, you chuckled and took a swing of your almost empty bottle of soju.
"I'm serious, Mingyu. I mean a romantic relationship, where, you know, it's just us and we do couple things and we settle down and all that stuff."
"What can you do with some guy that you couldn't do with us?", he grabbed both your drinks and set them on the table.
Suddenly, his demeanor seemed a bit more serious, which confused you.
Where the hell was Jungkook with those drinks?
"I- Are you serious? Do you need me to tell you?"
"Yeah, I mean, why would you need to look for some guy if you have us?"
Oh. He was serious.
"Because we're friends?," you were beyond confused, "I can't go out with you romantically, or move in with you, or," you gulped, "or sleep with you."
"You can't?", he scoot closer to you.
"Mingyu ..."
"I just mean ... Why would you go after some loser when we can just take care of you?", his hand went back to touching you, though this time it ran up and down your thigh rather than your arm. That false semblance of innocence was gone, "You want someone to keep your bed warm? You don't even have to ask ... I'll do it- we'll do it."
Through his short speech, he got closer and closer, just as the air in the room got heavier. The atmosphere itself shifted dramatically, specially with Mingyu so close to you.
Mingyu was the touchiest man you'd ever known. Being his best friend, you had fallen victim to his touchy demeanor endless times, but never like this. Never while his eyes were hooded and heavy with some emotion you'd never seen in them before.
"Gyu, I-"
"Can I show you?", he rasped, eyes now on your lips.
"Y-you're drunk," you were sure that must've been it. The combination between drinking and talking about dating must've short circuited his brain.
"Just tipsy ... Tipsy enough to get the balls to tell you how much I want you ... but lucid enough to remember how many times I've thought about this."
The hands on your thighs moved to your waist, closing in on you, slowly pulling you toward him. By the end of it, you were halfway sitting on his lap.
"You've thought about this?"
Your nervous hands went to his shoulders for support, easily giving in to him.
"So many times. Jungkook too," he chuckled as he began burying his head in your neck, lips ghosting the sensitive skin.
Lacking any control of your body, you repositioned yourself to allow him better access to you, now fully on his lap as he sat sideways on the couch, arms wrapped fully around you and face buried in your neck.
"Gyu, I-"
"Yeah? Is this okay? Is it okay if I kiss your neck like this? This is what you wanted, right? Someone to take care of you?", he mumbled as he made his way to your ear with breathy kisses.
You were burning up, completely powerless to Mingyu. It was kind of embarrassing how easily you gave in to him. How you had been entirely unaware of his want for you until five minutes ago, yet you were now pliant in his hold, willing to listen to his senseless argument about him and Jungkook being good replacement for a relationship. You also had that to think about – the Jungkook aspect of it all.
The reminder of Jungkook's presence woke you up a bit, remembering that you were literally sitting on your best friend's lap while in your other best friend's living room.
With half a mind to let Mingyu do whatever he wanted to do with you, you powered your way through your decision to pull him away from your neck.
"Gyu, wait. Kook could get here any minute-"
"Don't stop on my account. Seemed like you were having fun without me."
Your head snapped to the door at the introduction of the raspy voice of your best friend, finding said friend leaning against the doorframe with a few drinks in one hand and a few ramen cups stacked on the other.
"Jungkook-"
"So, can someone catch me up?", he got closer, dropping off all the food he was carrying on the table and sitting next to you on the couch.
The position made it so that Jungkook was technically sitting behind you. Since you were on Mingyu's lap and sitting sideways on the couch, you were now being sandwiched by both boys. Jungkook still kept a small distance, making you have to turn around in Mingyu's hold to look at him.
While you probably embodied the image of a deer caught in headlights, Mingyu seemed completely relaxed, hands still comfortably on your waist.
"I was actually just catching Y/N up," said Mingyu, an overly cocky tone in his voice as his hands continued to feel up and down your waist.
"Oh? Without me?", chuckled Jungkook, leaning a bit closer.
"What the hell is happening?"
"How much did you tell her?", Jungkook ignored you, staring directly at Mingyu. His eyes would occasionally trail down to Mingyu's hands on your waist, a sour look overtaking his face.
It seemed like you had missed a few chapters in the friendship; there was some unspoken agreement between the two in which you were the main character. While it bothered you to think that they'd discussed you in private, the enigma of it all also excited you. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, or maybe it was the way in which Mingyu's entire demeanor had become possessive when you brought up dating. The reason didn't matter when you were already beginning to heat up.
"Just caught her up a little on the, uh, situation," said Mingyu with an unrecognizable glint in his eyes, "Did you know she was thinking about dating?", he asked Jungkook, ignoring your presence while still having his hands on you.
Mingyu's hand had made it under your shirt by now, feeling the warm skin of your back.
"Oh? Since when?", he finally turned to you, scooting up a tiny bit more.
Due to his new proximity, you turned your head around, facing Mingyu again. That proved to be a mistake, as Mingyu was even closer to you. Jungkook also took advantage of this, braving a few more inches in closeness and letting his face come closer to your neck. He pushed your hair aside for better access, simply breathing against you as he awaited your answer.
Responding was the hardest thing in the world. Your mind was simply not working at the moment, the situation being far too intimate for you to fully function. On one side you had the huge hunk of a man that was Mingyu, warm hands against the bare skin of your back all while you sat on his leg. On the other, you had the gorgeous embodiment of a boyfriend that was Jungkook, whose fingers were now slowly running up and down your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake while he nosed at your neck.
You had your two gorgeous best friends giving you the best type of attention all while your brain fizzled with your tipsiness.
"Answer him, baby," murmured Gyu.
"I- I just," you sighed when Jungkook began leaving feather-light kisses on your neck, "just thought about maybe getting b-back in the market? To meet someone and-"
"But you have us?", Jungkook sounded genuinely confused, seemingly unable to understand the platonic nature behind your friendship.
"That's what I said!", added Mingyu.
"But I want a boyfriend, n-not-"
"Boyfriend? Baby ...", Jungkook disconnected from you, grabbing your head to make you twist your neck in order to look at him, "That's just an upgrade. You want a boyfriend? We'll give you two. You don't need to be looking around for some loser," his eyes gradually lowered to your lips as he spoke, breath heavy against them.
"K-Kook, I-"
"Please say yes? Please just ... Let me show you? We can show you together. Right, Gyu?", he murmured, mere inches away from your mouth.
Before you knew it, you were nodding, far too desperate to voice your desire.
As embarrassing as it was to admit, you had thought of kissing Jungkook before. Being one of the prettiest boys you'd ever seen before, it was hard at first to keep your relationship with him fully platonic, having had to beat down a small crush you had developed on him at an earlier age. His kiss, however, was not something you could've ever predicted.
Even with the awkward angle, and Mingyu's hands still on you, Jungkook gave you the dizziest of kisses. He knew how to get you hooked immediately, starting with a heavy kiss that had you chasing him the moment he pulled away. With a quiet and breathy laugh, he kissed you again, languid and wet in the way his tongue snuck between your lips, seamlessly making its way into your mouth to play with yours.
Shamelessly, you moaned against his lips, hands digging into Mingyu's shoulders as he continued to hold you. The slight awkwardness of making out with Jungkook while giving your back to Mingyu, yet still holding onto him, was present in your mind. However, Jungkook's sensual yet playful way of kissing you took up most of your attention.
But you knew Mingyu to be a whiny mess of a man at times, so you knew it wouldn't be long before he attempted to regain your attention. The evidence was in the way he felt you up all throughout, hands on your breasts as he pinched at your nipples through your shirt, groaning at the feeling of your tits in his hands. Occasionally, his hands would go down to your cunt, ghosting the place where you needed the most attention before making their way back up to your chest.
Pulling you away by the waist, you were forced to separate from Jungkook, eyes still closed as your lips chased his own. This time Jungkook's lips also attempted to regain possession over yours, with his tongue catching a few last nasty licks of your own.
"It's my turn," grumbled Mingyu, making you turn back to him, "You're on my lap but kiss him only? Baby, we're supposed to share you!", he pouted.
Giggling, you got even closer to him, cradling his head in your hands as you lightly pulled at his hair.
You turned to Jungkook one quick last time, "Kookie?"
His eyes lit up at your question, giving you a view of his round eyes as he gave you his full attention.
"Scoot closer, yeah? Put your hands around me," you encouraged him, humming in contentment when he went above and beyond and began to kiss your neck in the process.
Turning back to Mingyu, there was still an ever-so-present pout on his features, making you giggle again before finally kissing his lips.
Now, Mingyu's kiss was completely different from that of Jungkook's.
You had known Mingyu for as much time as you had Jungkook. He had a bit of a reputation when you had first met, being known as a guy who would occasionally sleep around with other idols, and sometimes staff. Now at 26, he had been retired from that era of his life for a while, but you'd be lying if you didn't say he always made you wonder. He always had all the girls swooning, instantly falling in love with his outgoing persona and his incomparable charisma. His looks also did not help matters. Being so handsome and likable, you occasionally fell victim to his charms, sometimes needing to snap yourself out of R rated thoughts you'd have about him on nights you were feeling particularly lonely.
His kiss felt exactly the way he looked. It was rich and insanely hot. Mingyu made love to your mouth, using his tongue in ways you didn't know a man could. He was domineering in the way he kissed you, with a firm hand on your jaw so he could position you in a way that allowed him to kiss you just the way he liked. And he liked it nasty. He liked it wet and filthy and in a way that made you sure you'd cum if he kissed you for a little too long.
You could barely catch up to the situation, having one gorgeous man fucking your mouth with his tongue while the other suckled at the most sensitive spots of your neck. In the meantime, your cunt was gushing with essence, already so extremely wet you were beginning to squirm in Mingyu's hold.
You attempted to pull away once, only to be enticed into kissing Mingyu again as he groaned against you, tongue seducing yours once more. You attempted to pull away twice, having his arms wrap tighter around you. The third time is when you finally succeeded, whining against Mingyu's mouth that you needed more. This caused yet another groan to come out of Mingyu, only to be echoed by Jungkook's own groan against your neck.
They both disconnected from you, looking to each other in a decisive manner, almost as if to formulate a game plan.
"I want her first," said Jungkook, slapping Mingyu's hands away from you and attempting to move you onto his lap.
Mingyu stopped him, holding you tighter against him as he rebutted, "You? She's already on my lap. I should have her first."
"Dude, I'm about to blow up. Just let me fuck her and then you can have her while I recover," be argued, hands fighting Mingyu's off of you.
"Why can't I choose?", you butt in, annoyed.
Their demeanors swiftly changed at your interruption, both pairs of hands now touching either your waist or thighs in an intimate yet caring manner.
"What do you want, pretty? My cock? Hmm?", asked Mingyu with a sweet voice in an attempt to convince you. Meanwhile, Jungkook wordlessly kissed at your neck again, nibbling at your ear and smirking at how you shuddered at the feeling.
"I-", you were already lightheaded again, "I wanna suck your dick, Gyu. Want Kookie to fuck me while I suck your dick," you murmured, hand holding Jungkook's head against your neck to keep his kisses coming.
Mingyu groaned at this, nodding absentmindedly. He began to shift, attempting to get up in order to get himself ready for you, but you stopped him.
"Undress me? Both of you?", you asked in the softest voice you could muster. You wanted both their hands on you at once, feeling your nude body for the first time. You knew their desire for you was already clouding their minds, so you wanted to do everything in your power to relish in every single touch, every look filled with lust they would give you.
Without another word, both boys got up, standing you up with them. Their hands were messy and uncoordinated as they got every garment off you, feeling you up in the process. Your breasts were groped and fondled multiple times in the process, while Jungkook pressed your ass up against him any chance he could, groaning at the slight stimulation.
Finally undressed, you decided to turn around once more, facing Jungkook as you kissed him with no warning. You smirked into his mouth when you felt Mingyu grab you from behind and press your ass up against him, grinding slowly against you. You knew it wasn't enough to get him anywhere, but you enjoyed knowing he was needy enough to use you in such a fruitless way just for a little stimulation.
Meanwhile, your hands went straight to Jungkook's oversized top, hands sneaking underneath to feel up his muscular form, hands harshly rubbing on his strong chest. It seemed Jungkook was overly sensitive to your touch. He whined needy breaths into your mouth as you felt him up. Taking off his shirt, you moaned as you saw the gorgeous figure of your best friend.
God, he was the prettiest thing you'd ever seen. You couldn't wait until you saw the rest of his pretty body, sculpted by the endless hours of work you knew he always put into the gym. The endless hours in which you had accompanied him to said gym, always having to look away before you started to have inpure thoughts of your best friend.
He helped you in the removing of his pants and boxers, throwing his head back when your hands immediately went to find his cock and play with it. Burying his head in your neck, he groaned against your skin, whining at the feeling of your hands finally wrapped around him after having wanted you for so long.
Behind you, you heard shuffling, assuming Mingyu to have been removing his own clothes as he waited for his turn of your attention to come. You felt badly at leaving him hanging for too long, knowing him to have an overly impatient disposition when he didn't receive attention for extended periods of time.
Playing with Jungkook's cock just for a little longer, you gave him one last kiss before turning around and trapping Mingyu in his own kiss. Unlike with Jungkook, you didn't linger long, opting instead to push him down the large conversation pit – thank god for Jungkook's insanely big mansion – located just a few steps away from the couch where it had all begun. This way you could have all the space you wanted to play with your friends.
Now lying down, Mingyu looked you up and down like you were his next prey, licking his lips at the sight and motioning at you to come sit on him despite knowing that you wanted something else.
"C'mon, baby. Ditch him. Don't you want me instead?," he leaned upwards to try and convince you of sitting on him.
It was hard to deny him with his cock staring up at you in such a challenging manner. He was equally as gorgeous as your other bestie, but in so many different ways. Mingyu was so big and thick and buff, he had you salivating at the mere sight of him. He was so toned yet so thick, and his dick matched perfectly. God, the thought of that monster inside you had your eyes rolling back already. Did he really mean it when he said he'd be yours? That he and Jungkook would share you? The idea of a boyfriend sounded stupid in retrospect.
Despite all your better judgment telling you to jump Mingyu and let him impale you with his cock right then and there, you knew that starting off with Jungkook would give you a better buildup. You also knew that based on Jungkook's competitive personality, he'd become even whinier than Mingyu if you didn't let him take care of you first.
Fully determined, you turned back to Jungkook, who had been standing there in a trance, now having a better view of your body and keeping his eyes religiously glued to it. You grabbed onto him and walked yourself back to the large conversation pit, eyes glued to Jungkook's in a seductive manner as you guided him to the area in which Mingyu was already lying down. In only a few seconds, you let go of Jungkook and positioned yourself in front of Mingyu at an eye level with his cock while he sat up and looked down at you with a pained look in his eyes. In all fours, your back faced Jungkook, hinting at him to get behind you so that you could finally get back to business.
With a groan, Jungkook knelt behind you, needy hands feeling the curve of your back as he pushed you up against him. In the meantime, you began softly playing with Mingyu's cock, making him throw his head back at finally receiving some attention where he'd been craving it for so long.
"You're so pretty, fuck ... No one deserves you, baby. Too fucking pretty n perfect n fuck ... Can I fuck you now, pretty? Hmm? Let me have this pretty pussy while you suck off your bestie," rambled Jungkook from behind you, head lowered so he could kiss at your hips.
You whined and pushed up your ass against him, giving him the green light to do whatever he wanted, when suddenly he stopped.
"Fuck, wait. Condom?", he asked, making Mingyu groan, as you were about to engulf him in your mouth but also halted your movements to tend to Jungkook's question.
"It's okay, Kookie. The company put me on some new birth control. You can fuck me raw," you smirked up at Mingyu, giggling at yet another groan of his.
"He gets you raw? Baby, I'm the one who started all this! How's that fair?", he huffed.
Taking a quick separation from Jungkook, you gestured for Mingyu to lean down so he could meet you halfway. With a wet kiss, you made your way to his ear and whispered against it.
"I'm saving you for last, baby. Gonna ride you til I cry ... Now be good and cum in my mouth?"
He groaned so loudly his entire body vibrated under you as you crawled your way back to your previous position. Jungkook simply laughed at the interaction.
Feeling you up once more, Jungkook finally grabbed onto his cock and lined himself up, groaning at the gushing wetness that coated his cock as he entered you. Your own moan was masked by Mingyu's cock, which you were currently working into your mouth.
"Oh, fuck ... It's so tight, baby ... It's so fuckin' warm n tight n so pretty, baby. Such a pretty cunt," babbled Jungkook, immediately pussydrunk.
Could he be blamed? He had wanted you for years. From the moment he met you, he cursed at himself for being so damn shy and initiating a friendship with you rather than showing you his interest. His members constantly teased him over it, even so many years into his crush. When he first found out Mingyu also had similar ideas in mind, he felt conflicted. But he ultimately grew close enough to the two of you to the point where he wouldn't mind sharing you with his bestest of friends.
Your muffled moans completely took him out of it, taking away any ability to think or speak. He simply chased after you with his hips, canting them against your own as you pushed back against him.
"Is it good, pretty? Like my cock?" he winced at the way you tightened any time he'd speak to you.
"So good, Kookie. So big ...," you pulled away from Mingyu to breathe before going back to licking and sucking at his tip, moaning against him as his eyes rolled back.
You were practically centipede in Jungkook's living room, with Mingyu lying on his back as you gagged on his cock and Jungkook pounding into you from behind. All your senses were overtaken by the mindless quest for pleasure you had all taken on.
"You're so good with your mouth, pretty ... Fuck, look so pretty stuffed of cock," Mingyu gasped, throwing his head back, "Like how he fucks you, baby? Just wait til I get to you ... Gonna stuff that pretty pussy so good ..."
You moaned against his cock, already thirsty for him even as Jungkook continued to ram into you. Pushing your ass back against him, you felt Jungkook's nails dig into the skin of your hips, adoring how malleable you were for him.
"Baby ... 'm gonna cum soon ... Feels so fucking good, pretty. You're so fucking g-good for me. Wanted you so fuckin' bad, you have no idea ..." murmured Jungkook as he entered his high, hips lacking any control in their movements.
Jungkook had always been the most sensible of the bunch, never holding back from expressing how strongly he felt for the people in his life. The pleasure must've been so much that it made him unfiltered in revealing the undeniable effect you had on him.
"W-where do I cum? Fuck, gonna fucking cum, it's so good, baby. Take it so good for me, shit ..."
You were too busy gagging on cock to respond right away, so you had to take a minute to pull away and catch your breath, replacing your mouth with your hand while also holding yourself up with the other one.
"Inside? Cum inside, Kookie. I'll- I'll cum too," you were breathless, barely able to get the words out as a petulant Mingyu whined at you to help him finish, hands going behind your head and lightly encouraging you to get your mouth back on him.
"Inside? Fuck, okay, baby. Gonna fill you up, yeah?", he groaned, muttering to himself right afterwards, "Fucking finally ..."
His hips sped up drastically as his high approached, making you choke around Mingyu not just due to his girth, but due to the intense ramming against your ass. Though harsh and with an unmatchable energy, you continued to try and push your hips back toward his own, wanting to milk him dry as your own high invaded your senses.
His desperation for you made you feel so incredibly good, like you were the prettiest girl to ever exist. It made you arch your back a little deeper, take a little more of Gyu's cock, dig your nails a little harsher into the cushion of the conversation pit. You heightened all your actions just to feel him a little more.
And then it reached its crescendo. All while Jungkook whimpered and cried at how sensitive he felt at your tightening walls, Mingyu also found his own high. You were too distracted with your own orgasm to acknowledge him asking you for permission to cum in your mouth, instead suctioning more intensely to wordlessly give him an enthusiastic yes, please fill up my mouth with your cum.
By the time Mingyu filled up your mouth, Jungkook had already finished his high, now kneeling behind you as he peppered kisses all over your back and hips, whispering against you how good you had been for him and how pretty you looked with his cum leaking out of you. Fully drunk on the aftermath of his high, Jungkook loved on you like any lover would.
In the meantime, you attempted to swallow every bit of Mingyu's essence, moaning against his cock afterwards as you licked at every lone drop that made it out of your mouth.
By the end of it, you were all completely spent. Each of you dropped one by one, with Jungkook lying on his back as he caught his breath, you falling onto Mingyu, and Mingyu attempting to pull you up to climb his body so that he could kiss you again.
With the very little energy you had regained, you crawled up Mingyu's body, making out with him as he attempted to lick his way into your mouth in order to taste himself in your mouth. Kissing evolved into feeling each other up, which then became grinding your now sensitive pelvises against each other. Surprisingly, Mingyu was still half-hard, which gave you the perfect surface to grind your cunt into. He sat up, making you sit up with him before beginning to leave kisses on the side of your neck.
"Baby? Gonna ride me like you said, right? Just .. Fuck, want that pretty pussy, baby. It's my turn to have that tiny little cunt wrapped around me, yeah?", he murmured between kisses.
You gave in to him easily, gasping at every word that accompanied every kiss.
Nodding mindlessly, you almost forgot to think back to Jungkook, who was probably still recovering from his orgasm.
"W-what about Kookie?," you mumbled when Mingyu began positioning you above his cock.
"Don't worry about me, pretty. Just enjoying the view", you turned back to see Jungkook lying back on his elbows, one hand on his semi-flacid cock as he began to work himself up at the sight of you sitting on your best friend.
Well, that worked well enough for you.
"Now pay attention to me, princess. Been ignoring me all day today," Mingyu grabbed onto your chin to make you look at him, thumb softly rubbing at your chin as he tilted your head back.
You were insanely wet by now, not only from your orgasm but also from just Mingyu's mere presence. Knowing how intense and touchy Mingyu always was in PG scenarios, you couldn't help your eyes rolling back at the thought of him between the sheets. His heavy cock on your tongue had been enough of a taste to know how good it'd feel when finally inside you.
His strong hands lifted you up a bit, rescuing his dick from under you as he helped you position it under you, holding tightly onto your hips when you began to lower yourself down. You would've moaned and whined at the immense stretch, but Mingyu had different plans for your mouth. His thick fingers slipped into your mouth, making you gag a bit before you began sucking on them.
Too many things were on your mind, with all your senses being invaded by Mingyu – though also accompanied by Jungkook's low moans of pleasure behind you. Even as your body was bouncing against Mingyu's, attempting to match his thrusts, your head was completely empty of any thought. All you could think about was Mingyu, and his cock, and his fingers, and his pretty body, and and and-
"Feel good, princess? Love my cock, hmm? Tell me how much you like my cock, angel," he groaned as he took his fingers out of your mouth, using the wet fingertips to tweak at your nipple as his mouth engulfed the opposite one.
"So much ... It's so big. Fuck, Gyu, you're s-so big ..."
Barely able to formulate words, you cried as Mingyu helped you bounce on him, occasionally opting to grind in a way that made your clit get the perfect stimulation. It all felt too good. Mingyu's gigantic hands on your body while his lips suckled on your tits as Jungkook groaned so prettily behind you. You were far too sensitive and alert to hold back from the life-altering orgasm that was to come. So, you voiced this concern to Mingyu.
His response came in the form of flipping you around and trapping you underneath him. His big hands held onto your waist, lifting you a bit so he could angle himself just right. Eyes rolling back and nails digging onto the bed, you lost yourself in him. Jungkook seemed to be completely lost to pleasure also. You could finally see him after Mingyu flipped you over, and fuck ... He looked so desperate, so depraved in the way he hammered into his cock, mouth permanently agape as he let out little praises to you.
"I need you to cum for me, okay, princess? Show Jungkook how good I make you feel. Need you to milk me dry, yeah? Can you do that for me?", he dumbly talked down at you with a tone that could only be seen as patronizing in any other context. But here, you loved it. You loved how dumbly he treated you. Because it was true. You could not think, you could not speak. Your senses were all gone and replaced by a constant stream of cock cock cock as Mingyu finally made you reach your orgasm.
Mingyu played with you through the entirety of your orgasm, rubbing at your clit with one hand while holding you with the other, his lips constantly attached to your tits.
"G-gyu, I- fuck! C-cumming! Please, I-" you had no idea what you were begging for as your orgasm completely took over, making you tighten around Mingyu as he mumbled into your chest, letting you know of his own impending high.
Despite having already had an equally fulfilling orgasm, this second one brought out a new sensitivity in you. Falling under Mingyu, you whimpered at the way he flipped you over again to lay on his chest, caressing your back and pressed you up against him, even more when Jungkook laid beside you and softly ran his hands through your hair.
The three of you laid there together, with you halfway laying on Mingyu while Jungkook laid on the opposite side of you, cuddling into you. Behind you, you could feel Jungkook's flacid member, meaning he had also reached a second high along with you and Mingyu. Lying there together, completely sober now, you eventually let sleep take over you, nuzzling into both boys in a satisfied manner.
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A few days passed by since your encounter with the 97s. They were pretty eventful as far as your job went, attending a few photoshoots and practicing constantly for whatever new activity was coming up for your group. However, things between you and your friends had remained stagnant. You didn't think they had ghosted you or anything like that, but the timing of your busy schedules picking up right after breaking your platonic relationship did make you anxious.
When you'd woken up that next day, Mingyu was gone, having left one of the packs of ramen cooked and ready for you with a note attached detailing how much he enjoyed last night, saying he had wanted to stay and say goodbye but had a a schedule that had been calling for him. It was signed with his name and a little heart.
Jungkook had been half-awake already, having carried you to his bed when he had woken up, right after Mingyu's departure. You had wanted to talk about last night, but also had a schedule over at the company, so you left after cuddling with a sleepy Jungkook for a short while, not really discussing anything, yet sharing a sweet kiss as a goodbye for the day.
And so you hadn't really seen them since then. It was the unfortunate reality of idol life. That night had been the first in a few weeks in which you'd even been able to see each other. You were unsure when the next one would come, but you needed it to be soon. The remembrance of that night kept messing with your head, especially any time you'd see either of your friends in passing at the Hybe building, never being free long enough for a worthy interaction.
On the fourth night since the incident, you finally had more time off for yourself, hoping maybe they did too. Mingyu got ahead of you in that aspect, texting you the previous night, somehow aware of your time off, and asking you over. There was no deeper interpretation to be had in his message, as it was pretty straightforward. Nervous as to whether to expect a repeat of last time or a conversation about it, you let him know you'd be there.
Jungkook and Mingyu had always been closer to each other than to you. Going out together was always easier for them since no scandalous rumors would arise from it. They were also often in the same friend groups, knowing more male idols than you did due to the nature of the industry. It was easy for you to assume that they had already spoken about what had happened, even before it happened. Throughout the night, they kept referencing some type of agreement they'd had regarding you and dating. It was hard to assume, but you wondered if they meant sharing you – as strange as it sounded.
Your questions would only be answered tonight, leading you to some anxiety before finally arriving to Mingyu's.
~
"I missed you," were Mingyu's first words when he welcomed you, trapping you in a warm hug as he usually did. Hugging Mingyu was, in your opinion, one of your life's greatest privileges. He was so big and strong, it always felt like being completely engulfed in the safest of spaces.
His hug was followed by one of Jungkook's, less tight in nature but just as rewarding. He held onto your waist and nuzzled against you, always attempting to bury himself in whoever he held in his arms.
Quietly, they guided you to Mingyu's living room, slightly smaller than Jungkook's but still very much reminiscent of a millionaire's home.
You looked over to the coffee table, tilting your head in confusion at the presence of cans of diet soda rather than the usual alcohol Mingyu would always provide. Sensing your confusion, Mingyu chuckled.
"No alcohol today. Thought you might wanna talk about what happened," he sat down on the couch, patting the empty space next to him so you'd join him. Behind to you, Jungkook joined, sitting on a lone seat facing you and Mingyu. No matter where you looked, the two boys would be in front of you.
"We've been keeping you in the dark, huh?," pondered Jungkook, handing you a freshly opened can of soda, "Sorry about that. No easy way to tell your best friend you're into her."
Oh. He was going straight to the point.
"I like you, if that wasn't clear already," he let out a breathless chuckle, attempting to hold eye contact but failing.
He was much better at this when he was working his way into your pants.
"And so do I," interrupted Mingyu.
Wait.
"Are you-"
"We both like you."
"I- Have you talked about this?"
"Uh, it's come up, yeah," Mingyu scratched the back of his neck.
"I don't really know what to say ..."
"We just ... You had fun the other night, right?"
"Yeah, I mean, it was great," you took a breath, "but we're friends. Right?"
You weren't sure if you were being rational or not. Did you like Mingyu and Jungkook? Sure. But together? At the same time? You had never considered such type of relationship.
"We- we don't have to be just friends," added Jungkook, not much confidence in his voice. He cleared his throat and tried again, "We like you, and we know that you like us back. Maybe not in the same way, but you do. That night would've gone very differently if you didn't."
You could've lied. You could've lied and left it off as an amazing one night stand with your two best friends. But the thought of never feeling what you felt that night ever again was not something you wanted to risk. It wasn't just about the pleasure. You had meant what you said that night; you wanted a stable relationship. You wanted someone to call a best friend, but be more than that. Someone to hold you at night. The three of you had always been glued by the hip, but you had never really thought of what it'd be like to take the next step – to have them be that person (or those people).
There were just too many questions in your head. Would this change your relationship negatively? Would they actually want to share you? Would this go anywhere?
You opted for answering Jungkook's question with another question.
"Are you okay with both of you liking me?"
They looked at each other for a moment before Mingyu ultimately answered.
"We've discussed it," he started, "When we first realized we both liked you, it did cause some tension. But the closer we got to you, the more we realized that we just wanted to be with you. Whether as friends or as more, we just wanted you."
You gulped at the confession, feeling your face heating up all of the sudden.
"I- I don't know what to say, I- I like you too. Both of you. I always thought that it was just as friends, but ... there'd be moments where I'd wonder. And after that night, I just-"
Jungkook leaned forwards, grabbing onto your hands. He smiled, ignoring most of your words and paying attention to what he cared about the most – you liked him.
"You like me back? Us? Do you- We could treat you so right. I- I've wanted you since we met. I've liked you for so long and ... Not just for sex. We could be more," his words were slightly frantic in nature, almost as if he wanted to sell something to you.
He didn't need any selling. You liked him. It became more and more glaring by the minute.
"Nothing has to change. We've been friends for this long. Just ... That guy you're looking for? To settle down with? That could be us," added Mingyu, placing a palm on your thigh for reassurance.
"What happens if I say yes?"
Mingyu's eyes grew dark.
"Do you want the PG version?"
You shook your head, mouth agape as you looked to Mingyu.
His face lit up as he leaned closer and closer to you, lips approaching the sensitive spots he had discovered on your neck just a few days ago. Stopping for just one moment, he looked to Jungkook to gesture he sit opposite of you, making you become sandwiched by both men yet again.
Now with both boys kissing down your neck, you allowed your head to rest against the back of the couch, attempting to fight the shudders escaping your body at the sensation.
"As our girlfriend ... we'd take you on dates," Mingyu sucked at a particularly sensitive spot, licking at it afterwards, "buy you pretty gifts, keep you warm at night," he took a pause, licking up the length of your neck, "take care of you every day."
Jungkook continued from where Mingyu left off, leaving soft whispers of kisses under your ear, "We share you. We take you home, cook for you, protect you," he nipped at your lobe, "We love you like no one else could ever imagine."
By now, you were gone. Through their whispered promises, their hands had decided to intrude your space yet again. Jungkook's had found a home between your legs, running up your skirt and gracing at your cunt, but only enough to have you puffing out breaths of desire. Mingyu's had migrated upwards, lowering the straps of your dress and liberating your breasts, hands needy as they pulled and tweaked at your nipples.
"What do you say, princess?", Mingyu pulled away, lips reaching your own, "Wanna have two boyfriends?", he pecked at your lips sensually.
"Mhmm ...", you nodded pathetically, not trusting your voice.
Jungkook groaned at your answer, hand finally slipping inside your panties, "Good girl ..."
"Fuck, gonna treat you so good, gorgeous," said Mingyu, continuing to kiss at your lips tongue seeking your own.
His lips trailed down to your breasts, sensually licking at your nipples, gradually giving them more and more attention. By the end of it, you were crying at the sensitivity.
Jungkook continued to play with your cunt, driving his fingers through your folds at a rhythmic pace that made your hips take a mind of their own, grinding upwards with a complete lack of coordination.
You were so focused on Jungkook's fingers that you didn't notice Mingyu making his way down your body, now kneeling between your legs as his lips made their way up your thighs, marking them to his heart's contentment.
"So fucking pretty ... Been wanting your pretty thighs around my head for years, princess ...", he mumbled to himself, nosing his way towards your cunt. When he finally arrived, he nudged Jungkook's finger's away, sticking his nose against your cunt as he took a shameless whiff of your scent, groaning gruttaly against you.
"So good ... Fuck, need this pretty cunt so bad. Can I have it, baby? Hmm? Let me have a taste of this pretty pussy?" he asked between depraved licks of your cunt through your panties.
Hiccuping back a sob, you nodded, opening your legs wider as you took a hold of Jungkook's hand for support.
Needing no further confirmation, Mingyu went straight into your cunt, ignoring the obstacle of your panties by pushing them aside. In the meantime, Jungkook's hand went to your chin, turning your whiny lips to his own and giving you a languid kiss. His tongue played with your own, taking advantage of your constant cries of pleasure to suck at your tongue and bite your lips as much as he desired.
Your hands went from holding onto Jungkook for support to his pants, undoing the drawstring as he continued to kiss you. With shaky hands, you snuck your hands in, pulling out his hardened cock as you began to jerk it in your hand. Now you were even; equally pathetic cries being released into each other's mouths as you both chased your highs.
Beneath you, you almost missed the way Mingyu's hips began humping against the couch, groans being released into your cunt due to the stimulation. You were far too distraed by kissing Jungkook, but Mingyu's eyes were rolled all the way back as his hips became uncontrollable, cumming in his boxers just moments before he licked you to completion.
Even as you came, Mingyu's lips didn't leave your cunt, just as yours stayed on Jungkook's. The room was a mess of wet sounds of tongues as Mingyu finally separated himself from you to take a breath.
"Prettiest fucking cunt," he mumbled to himself as he let himself lay on the floor of his living room in exhaustion.
"C-cum! 'm gonna cum ...", Jungkook managed to mumble against your lips, attempting to pull back but being enticed by your lips to continue kissing. Your hands sped up at his warning, warning his pretty seed to coat your hands as he reached his nirvana.
With a last groan, Jungkook froze against you while riding his high, hips pathetic in their movements against your hand. Bringing up your hand to your lips, you made a show of licking the remnants of cum, grinning when you beard a unison of groans from both boys.
Out of breath, Jungkook leaned against you, cuddling into you with a satisfied yet smile.
"So, was that a yes?"
Mingyu made his way to the couch again, taking up the last bit of personal space you had.
You chuckled.
"Yes. That was a yes."
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to read short 2.7k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my monthly tier on kofi or patreon!
content: smut, oral (f receiving), jerking off, cucking, penetrative sex, reunion sex, etc.
wc: 296 (teaser); 2770 (full drabble)
sneak peak:
"Fuck, missed you so much. You have no idea," whispered Jungkook against your neck.
After having cornered you in one of Hybe's many endless hallways, Jungkook had grabbed you by the hand and led you to an empty changing room, pushing you up against the door and burying his face in your neck. It was mostly innocent, sans the feathery kisses down your neck. His hands were still in appropriate places.
"I was only gone for a month," you giggled against him.
"A month too long. Do you know how annoying Mingyu gets when you're not around? Jesus Christ," he groaned in mock annoyance, refusing to separate from your neck.
Breathing you in, he hummed, arms wrapping impossibly tighter around you.
"Where is he, by the way?"
"What, not enough attention from one of your boyfriends?", he softly bit at your neck in defiance, licking at the mark he left when you jumped in surprise.
"No! Just ... Missed seeing you two together."
After only a month of entering a romantic relationship, you were embarrassed to admit, but you had become quite needy, always wanting them around. This had led to a few problems within your company, which was blissfully unaware of your three-way relationship, but still had to deal with how much closer you had gotten – especially in public. There had been a few more rumors as of late, though none actually traced back to anything credible.
"He's at the gym. Should be here any minute, though, since he knows you're back."
"Hmm," you hummed, disconnecting him from your neck despite his complaints, "Wanna start without him?" you grinned.
With a boyish nod and a peak of his bunny teeth, the pretty boy agreed, dragging you over to one of the empty couches in the room.
...
find the 18+ continuation on kofi or patreon!
if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3
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colorfuldreamjester · 10 months
Text
so, i've fallen down the "humans are weird" rabbit hole, and i couldn't help but notice most of it is about how humans are just really durable, adorable, friendly, how we'd pack bond with anything, about how we have such a hive-mind and empathy and determination to survive when things get rough, how we could survive things most other aliens would die from, how we could eat stuff that would poison other aliens, how we inject ink into our skin and pierce it with pieces of metal and drink toxic substances for the sake of entertainment..
it's always human defences and endurance
but i never see people talking about human **aggression**
like, imagine a spaceship happens to have several humans on it even if most residents are alien species, and two of the humans get in a fight.
and i'm not just talking physical, i'm sayin' all kinds of fights.
imagine if two humans got in a serious screaming match and genuinely hurt a few of the alien species sensitive to loud sounds as they watch, flabbergasted at how the two are literally yelling in each-other's faces without breaking a sweat or getting tired from it, while one of the sound-sensitive aliens literally passed out because it was SO loud
or imagine them simply being in shock after interacting with humans for a long time and having this image in their head of humans being so friendly and able to get along with anything and anyone, including stabby, or any predatory, aggressive species we just so happen to find cute. that image getting completely shattered seeing two of the humans they're friends with showing clear anger and aggression in a display they could only describe as "terrifying" in the most visceral sense of the word
or two humans getting in an actual physical fight, and here's where the *several* humans on ship part comes into play,
so the two are duking it out in a violent display of pure hatred while other humans, amused and thoroughly entertained by the violence that would already have put any of the less durable aliens out of commission gather around the fighting pair and start ominously chanting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT"
prior, the aliens hadn't dared intervene or get any closer because either way they recognized it as a danger
meanwhile some humans JOIN IN for absolutely no reason and it becomes a full on riot
and the aliens just stare like ?????
confused at why they'd find it so endearing, at why they'd literally join for no reason at all, horrified by even just a punch to the gut because to some of the more vulnerable aliens that's their equivalent of literally getting an organ ripped out of them and somehow STILL fighting and then ripping out an organ out of the opponent themselves
and most of all, if humans are capable of befriending aggressive, large predatory beings and getting along with practically everything,
what from the fresh pits of hell triggered two *humans* to fight *each other* of all creatures?
(that is, assuming aliens don't have much knowledge of our history, wars, politics, etc of course.)
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honeybubblebeeeeee · 3 months
Text
Arranged marriage AU!Toji x Reader
Summary: Your son with toji, Megumi, said his first words today
CW: toji is cold and distant mostly hurt and no comfort mild fluff i guess??
Idk this was a random thought and now its here
REQUESTS OPEN!
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Marriages were not always done out of love. Some were done out of necessity or desperation. Much like the one you were currently in. It was necessity of clans and land squabbles and power hungry old men that didn't care for the feelings of those around them - only getting what they want.
And in your case they got what they wanted. Did you get anything you wanted? Well kinda.
Being in an arranged marriage to Toji wasn't the worst thing to happen to you. It could be worse but it could also be much, much better.
You had known each other since you were children as it was planned from a young age that you two were to be married. You hadn't minded. Toji was attractive and you had a mini crush on him for the longest time but he always detested you. You knew of the numerous women he had slept with before your marriage, having run into them multiple times. It felt like he was trying to push you away, to force you to beg for an out but you both knew that wasn't happening.
You had only been married for a short time now almost two years. It had been mostly uneventful in the name of new marriages aside from - ya know - the whole baby you had. Toji and you were told to waste no time in trying to produce an heir and really that was the only Toji showed you any affection. Outside of those moments he was cold and inattentive. Those moments were only out of the necessity to reproduce anyway. He didn't interact with your son Megumi very much either.
You cleaned up the kitchen after dinner in your large but yet lonely house. Toji was still out. Work or something else you weren't sure. Megumi babbled and bounced as he watched you move around the kitchen from his highchair, music played in the background. You smiled at him as he babbled. "Hi 'Gumi." You waved at him smiling wide. He laughed giddly at your voice, his mop of black hair bouncing with his movements.
He was the happiest and the cutest baby you had ever seen. You were more than proud of yourself. It was only mildly hurtful that Megumi was identical to Toji. His dark hair, his facial structure screamed Toji. The only thing he had gotten from you was your eyes. They reflected back at you as you approached the bouncing baby putting him on your hip.
You danced along to he music, bouncing him around as he laughed and babbled.
You put him down on the floor as you turned off the music. He continued babbling to himself as he crawled around. "Dadadadadada"
You turned almost comically slow to look down at your son. "What?!" Your smile was wide and your face was full of surprise.
Megumi babbled on again almost coherently. "dadadadadada"
You were so in shock you could barely move. Picking him up and swiftly sitting him on the counter. "Gumi did you say dada?! Say it again! Say dada."
Megumi laughed and babbled at you. You repeated the word multiple times, he watched intently his mouth moving as if trying to copy you. More coherent this time. "Dada"
You smiled wide and clapped at him. "Good job Megumi!! Oh my we have to tell Dada don't we? Such a smart boy."
Within the same moment Toji burst through the front door. You looked up at him as he passed by the kitchen, not even taking off his shoes before going to stomp up the stairs. "Toji! Oh my gosh come here Megumi just-"
"Leave me alone." He marched up the stairs. You heard his footsteps through the house and his bedroom door slammed. You looked down at Megumi as his small hands held onto your shirt and he looked up at you with big eyes. "Dada." You smiled softly at him. "Yeah baby... dada." Looking towards the stairs as if seeing him stomp up to them all over again.
Hours went by and he never came back down. You texted him that his dinner was in the fridge, that you wanted to show him something, that you were here for him if he needed anything, that you were sorry he had a bad day and he never answered or even read a single message.
Since figuring out he could say 'dada' Megumi had not stopped repeating it. You knew it wasn't to annoy you but you couldn't help feel a pang of hurt every time he said it. Toji was rarely around. Why couldn't his first word be mama, the one who is always around?
It was Megumi's bed time but you really thought Toji hearing Megumi would lighten up his day a little. You sighed to yourself as you built lego towers with Megumi upstairs in his playroom. Here you were, still trying to be the wife but he really was making you into a stranger.
You bathed and dressed Megumi in his pjs and held him close as he looked up at you. "Should we go see if dada is busy Megumi?" His eyes widened at the word and continued his babbling mantra of it. You walked through the east half of the house where your room and Megumi's plus your own office, some extra rooms and Megumi's playroom were. Toji's side was the west wing. If you were actually husband and wife you would share the north wing, where the extravagant bedroom - apartment practically - sat bare and collected dust. You looked to the double doors at the end of the north hall with disappointment before making you way to the west end and stepping up to Toji's door.
You hesitated before knocking softly. Waiting a moment before looking down at Megumi and shrugging. "I don't know if he's awake bud." You thought for a moment before slowly pushing the door open and peering inside. The light were on so you entered even though you knew you shouldn't. Toji never let you in his room. You'd only be in here a handful of times and all those times were unpleasant.
You walked through the sitting area into the bedroom until you noticed the bathroom door shut. You shook your head, looking to Megumi, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I think we will show dada tomorrow okay?" Megumi was unusually quiet, maybe being able to feel the tension that grew in your body. Turning swiftly you made for the door you came through but before you made it out of the bedroom the bathroom door opened.
"What are you doing in here?" Toji's voice was loud and cold. You turned to look at him. Water dripped from his wet hair, his body damp with steam. A towel hung loosely around his waist. "Did I say you could come in my room?" His eyes bore holes into you. The heat that rushed into your face gave away your fear.
You looked down to the son you both created, trying to look anywhere but at the way his muscled form rippled infront of you. It was easier to pretend you didn't find him attractive or care about him or have feelings for him when he wasn't right infront of you.
"Oh... sorry... I just..."
He eyed you, how you stayed focus on Megumi. The small boy holding onto your free hand. "What happened? Is Megumi ok?" His expression changed as he approached the two of you. His voice still cold and annoyed but a hint of concern hid underneath it all.
Your head snapped to him. Eyeing him closely for a reaction. "Nothing I just... he said his first word today. I thought it might cheer you up to hear it if I can get him to say it again."
His features softened ever so slightly. "His first word?" Toji tilted his head in thought. "What was it?" You couldn't help but notice the small amount of excitement in his voice.
Megumi bounced in your arms at Toji's voice, babbling along as if trying to figure out how to say it all over again. I smiled at Toji and then back down at Megumi. I pointed at Toji. "Who's that Gumi? Hmm? Say dada! Say it again baby show dada."
Megumi babbled and pointed towards Toji for a few moments before sounding out dada once again.
Toji's face immediately brightened. "What?! Dada??" He chuckled deeply, one that sounded genuine and it shook something in you. "He actually said it. Good boy Megumi." Toji stepped up to you and the baby as he spoke. Brushing Megumi's heap of hair back.
You kissed to side of Megumi's head as he bounced on your hip. "He hasn't even said mama yet." You chuckled softly but the tinge of hurt was in your voice. "Anyway that was all I wanted to tell you. Sorry for coming in your room, I know I'm not supposed to."
He shook his head. "it's okay." He assured as he watched Megumi babble and squirm in your grip. He was overtired for sure. Toji seemed to be a different person than the one you had come accustomed. His permanent scowl was gone and he looked almost happy. "Can I hold him?"
His question shocked you. Eyes widening but you handed him over.
Toji softly cradled him, rocking him back and forth as he whispered to him. Megumi didn't cry or fuss, even his overtired babbling stopped. Slowly his eyes got heavy and closed. You watched intently as Toji interacted with your son. If it could be like this all the time.
"He really does have my hair. He's got your eyes too." Toji commented quietly while admiring his son. His eyes flicked up to yours for a moment.
I smiled at him. "Yeah... he does..."
Toji chuckled softly. "He really does look like me. It's kinda scary."
You laughed a little more sincerely than you intended. "He does, has your personality too."
Toji chuckled low. "Yeah, he's cold and distant just like me?"
Your smile dropped, panic set in at his words. "Oh n-no I didn't mean it like that..."
Toji shook his head and looked up at you, a soft chuckle leaving his lips at your panicked expression. "I was joking, I know what you meant." He assured as he watched the sleeping Megumi in his arms.
You let go of a breath you didn't even realize you were holding. "oh right."
Toji whole aura seemed to relax when he held Megumi. You wished he could be around all the time. That he could be the father figure Megumi needed. That he could be the husband you wanted. To come home after a long day, and sit together. To be able to go to him when you needed a hug or reassurance or just wanted to feel loved. Your eyes focused as you realized that Toji was watching you deep in thought. Shaking your head you held out your arms. "I can take him now if you want. I don't want to bother you."
He held onto Megumi for a moment, seeming almost reluctant before handing him over to you. You smiled and nodded at him, turning to leave. He called out to you as you reached the door. "Wait, Y/N-"
You turned to look at him. "What's up?"
He opened his mouth to say something but closed it slowly. "Never mind sorry. Goodnight."
You eyed him for a moment before reluctantly turning away. "Alright... goodnight."
He couldn't bring himself to tell you the things he wanted to say. He couldn't find the words. How does he make up for the suffering you already endured? You had always so easily melted his cold dead heart, so he kept you at a distance but you had been so close. He already felt it melting.
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nostalgebraist · 1 year
Text
Honestly I'm pretty tired of supporting nostalgebraist-autoresponder. Going to wind down the project some time before the end of this year.
Posting this mainly to get the idea out there, I guess.
This project has taken an immense amount of effort from me over the years, and still does, even when it's just in maintenance mode.
Today some mysterious system update (or something) made the model no longer fit on the GPU I normally use for it, despite all the same code and settings on my end.
This exact kind of thing happened once before this year, and I eventually figured it out, but I haven't figured this one out yet. This problem consumed several hours of what was meant to be a relaxing Sunday. Based on past experience, getting to the bottom of the issue would take many more hours.
My options in the short term are to
A. spend (even) more money per unit time, by renting a more powerful GPU to do the same damn thing I know the less powerful one can do (it was doing it this morning!), or
B. silently reduce the context window length by a large amount (and thus the "smartness" of the output, to some degree) to allow the model to fit on the old GPU.
Things like this happen all the time, behind the scenes.
I don't want to be doing this for another year, much less several years. I don't want to be doing it at all.
----
In 2019 and 2020, it was fun to make a GPT-2 autoresponder bot.
[EDIT: I've seen several people misread the previous line and infer that nostalgebraist-autoresponder is still using GPT-2. She isn't, and hasn't been for a long time. Her latest model is a finetuned LLaMA-13B.]
Hardly anyone else was doing anything like it. I wasn't the most qualified person in the world to do it, and I didn't do the best possible job, but who cares? I learned a lot, and the really competent tech bros of 2019 were off doing something else.
And it was fun to watch the bot "pretend to be me" while interacting (mostly) with my actual group of tumblr mutuals.
In 2023, everyone and their grandmother is making some kind of "gen AI" app. They are helped along by a dizzying array of tools, cranked out by hyper-competent tech bros with apparently infinite reserves of free time.
There are so many of these tools and demos. Every week it seems like there are a hundred more; it feels like every day I wake up and am expected to be familiar with a hundred more vaguely nostalgebraist-autoresponder-shaped things.
And every one of them is vastly better-engineered than my own hacky efforts. They build on each other, and reap the accelerating returns.
I've tended to do everything first, ahead of the curve, in my own way. This is what I like doing. Going out into unexplored wilderness, not really knowing what I'm doing, without any maps.
Later, hundreds of others with go to the same place. They'll make maps, and share them. They'll go there again and again, learning to make the expeditions systematically. They'll make an optimized industrial process of it. Meanwhile, I'll be locked in to my own cottage-industry mode of production.
Being the first to do something means you end up eventually being the worst.
----
I had a GPT chatbot in 2019, before GPT-3 existed. I don't think Huggingface Transformers existed, either. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.
I had a denoising diffusion image generator in 2021, before DALLE-2 or Stable Diffusion or Huggingface Diffusers. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.
Earlier this year, I was (probably) one the first people to finetune LLaMA. I manually strapped LoRA and 8-bit quantization onto the original codebase, figuring out everything the hard way. It was fun.
Just a few months later, and your grandmother is probably running LLaMA on her toaster as we speak. My homegrown methods look hopelessly antiquated. I think everyone's doing 4-bit quantization now?
(Are they? I can't keep track anymore -- the hyper-competent tech bros are too damn fast. A few months from now the thing will be probably be quantized to -1 bits, somehow. It'll be running in your phone's browser. And it'll be using RLHF, except no, it'll be using some successor to RLHF that everyone's hyping up at the time...)
"You have a GPT chatbot?" someone will ask me. "I assume you're using AutoLangGPTLayerPrompt?"
No, no, I'm not. I'm trying to debug obscure CUDA issues on a Sunday so my bot can carry on talking to a thousand strangers, every one of whom is asking it something like "PENIS PENIS PENIS."
Only I am capable of unplugging the blockage and giving the "PENIS PENIS PENIS" askers the responses they crave. ("Which is ... what, exactly?", one might justly wonder.) No one else would fully understand the nature of the bug. It is special to my own bizarre, antiquated, homegrown system.
I must have one of the longest-running GPT chatbots in existence, by now. Possibly the longest-running one?
I like doing new things. I like hacking through uncharted wilderness. The world of GPT chatbots has long since ceased to provide this kind of value to me.
I want to cede this ground to the LLaMA techbros and the prompt engineers. It is not my wilderness anymore.
I miss wilderness. Maybe I will find a new patch of it, in some new place, that no one cares about yet.
----
Even in 2023, there isn't really anything else out there quite like Frank. But there could be.
If you want to develop some sort of Frank-like thing, there has never been a better time than now. Everyone and their grandmother is doing it.
"But -- but how, exactly?"
Don't ask me. I don't know. This isn't my area anymore.
There has never been a better time to make a GPT chatbot -- for everyone except me, that is.
Ask the techbros, the prompt engineers, the grandmas running OpenChatGPT on their ironing boards. They are doing what I did, faster and easier and better, in their sleep. Ask them.
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yuujispinkhair · 3 months
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Hey Winter, babe, what are your thoughts in Dad! Sukuna? I can't stop wondering what type of dad he would be🥺
Aww hey babe 💗 I love Dad!Sukuna! It always makes me weak to think about him!! 💗💗
The first part of this post can be read for any version of Sukuna: King of Curses, Trueform, modern!Sukuna. The second part is specifically about modern CEO!Sukuna. My blog and some of the linked stories are 18+. Minors please don't interact.
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Dad!Sukuna is this big, intimidating man who becomes so soft for his child. He is terrified the first time he holds his baby in his hands. It's so tiny, so fragile, so helpless. Sukuna isn't the type to make himself vulnerable, but he did so by allowing you in his heart and falling in love with you. And now you gave him a baby! You made something grow out of your shared love, and now he holds his baby, his and your baby, who has your eyes and his hair, and it makes him so scared.
Such a tiny, helpless little being, who is his responsibility, his to shelter and to protect in this big and dangerous world. This is the next level of vulnerability. Sukuna knows he will do anything to protect his child and his wife.
It gives Dad!Sukuna sleepless nights in the beginning. He gets up several times each night to sneak over to the small bed and sit next to it to make sure the little one is still breathing, and everything is alright. His large hand trembles when he caresses the soft hair on his child's tiny head.
This huge, strong man is so careful and gentle when he holds his baby in his arms. His eyes keep staring at it, disbelief in them because he still can't comprehend how this miracle happened. He never thought he would be the type to want kids, and now look at him!
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Modern CEO Sukuna as a dad:
I love to imagine Sukuna as a girl dad. He is the type to raise a spoiled little brat-princess. Her wish is daddy's command. He buys her any toy she wants, and her closet is overflowing with the cutest clothes. The little princess wants to eat ice cream at eight in the morning? Ok, sure, daddy will drive to her favorite ice cream parlor with her. And if they tell him they are still closed at this time, Sukuna will convince them to open earlier just for his princess. Either with a generous amount of money or with threatening to send some food inspectors over to ruin the ice cream palor's reputation.
Sukuna is also the type of dad who is feared by every teacher because he is such an asshole at those teacher-parent meetings. He keeps calling the school and complaining and threatening them with consequences anytime his little princess has a bad grade or gets into any kind of trouble.
And he is just as bad at his daughter's sports events. Sukuna is ambitious and so proud of his little princess and super protective, so yeah, a lovely combination for any tournament ;) Catch him on the sidelines voicing his opinion to the coaches because he knows better, of course! And getting into fights with the referee, and snapping at the parents of the other kids when one of their children dares touch his princess.
Sukuna is a powerful man with endless riches, so he knows how to use his influence to make sure his little girl only gets the best.
Here are some of my other Dad!Sukuna drabbles/stories:
Dad!Sukuna when his little princess grows up and wants to date someone and get married
Dad!Sukuna vs future son in law Gojo
Trueform!Sukuna holding his newborn baby for the first time
Dilf!Sukuna
Sukuna + lactation kink
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regicidal-optimism · 2 months
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You've been reblogging more stuff about female characters getting ignored by fandoms recently and I would be really curious to hear your full views on the topic.
The thing is that... look. I get it. Many fandoms do not have very many women in their canon, many of those women are treated pretty poorly by the canon or aren't given as much depth as their male peers, and if you're at all picky the pickings are kind of slim (I would love to be a fan of c!Niki, if I were able to watch six-hour vods, which I am not). It is not wrong that most works with large fandoms are really, really sexist, and the problem is not just in the fanbase!
But come the fuck on. It is not an accident that the DSMP and the MCU and BNHA, all of which are vast-majority male and the female characters are treated terribly, are megafandoms, and Revolutionary Girl Utena is eligible for yuletide. It is not wrong that if you want to see more female-character-focused fanwork you should go to Sailor Moon and not The Untamed, but it is also kind of missing the point to say that and not look at the difference in size between those fandoms. People can say "it's because the male characters are so often more interesting and have more meaningful interactions," and like, sometimes that's even true, I will be the first to tell you that quackbur has more to it than tinarose, but please compare the Clint/Coulson tag to the Utena/Anthy tag and look me in the eye and tell me that's the only thing driving the trend. With a straight face.
And even more there's a thing where— so, I was a mod in the @ao3topshipsbracket bracket. And femslash ships, once they were in the bracket, did really well. Like, absurdly well, like 80% of the f/f ships entered got to the top 16, and the last one was against blackbonnet which was never gonna lose in round 1. You might notice something about that number, though, which is that there were only five of them entered total, because people love to vote for femslash but they absolutely will not write it. And they won't say anything about it either! I was watching the activity feed the entire tournament, and I can tell you, for all of the "let's go lesbians" that populated our notes, nobody would say anything that was actually about the specific characters who made up their ship. I learned a lot about Naruto fandom, modding that bracket; I still know nothing about CW Supergirl, because the only thing anyone would say about it is "it has women in it". Because women are interchangeable. Because women are avatars of Being A Good Feminist. Because clicking a button is easy, and actually thinking about any specific woman and her traits and her internality is hard.
The thing is that guilt over misogyny does not actually fix misogyny. It gets you a lot of people who vote for women in polls, and who say "he's like a woman to me" about their male faves but notably don't have any canonically female characters they talk about, and who say that the only thing they care about in a fic is if it has women in it but will not ever actually say anything about any specific woman, and who never shut up about yuri but apparently yuri is everything and anything except women who have feelings about one another.
I'm tired! I'm very tired. I want people to actually give a shit about specific women and their specific traits, which do not begin and end with "woman". And, also, to stop treating women exclusively as the wingmen, advice-givers, mom figures, and accessories of men.
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olomaya · 9 months
Text
More Activities Activity Table
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Eat, Play, Learn! Family Fun for Everyone!
2-Sep Update: Thank you @jeebeehey for the French translation. Please redownload if you'd like them.
Updated for redownload (27 July):
Fixed an issue where the interaction cancels out if a toddler doesn't like the food. Thanks to @zemyna for catching!
Added the non-English stbls. Sorry, I swear I'm not one of those Anglophones that thinks English is the only language (I actually speak 3!), it's just a small step in the upload process that's easy to forget.
This is the final part of my little Kids and Toddlers mod series. It's meant to complement the Coloring Book and the Toddler foods mods so you will need those for this.
When I started this, I didn't think through how many new animations or custom details it would entail and I as continued, I kept having to add more and more. There are like 60 animations and 40 image assets 😭 hence why the two main files are so large for a mod.
What I've done is added more activities to the Activity Table after years of being annoyed that the Activity Table we have in TS3, despite being the EXACT SAME table from TS2, does not in fact allow your Sims to draw on it. EA, so lazy!
Anyway, what this does is add 4 new interactions to the Activity Table: Coloring, Arts & Crafts, Puzzles and the ability to serve toddlers food so they can eat there.
The activities are for toddlers and kids only but Teens+ can join in the puzzles if it's already been started by a toddler or child.
Note this will work with any of the Activity Tables in the game or Store but the puzzle will look weird as it's placed in the same spot as where the blocks are. You can use it with custom/cc activity tables provided only the mesh has been edited (for example, if slots are changed or removed, it may not work).
Credits/Thanks: The glue bottle, crayon, CAS paint items and one of the arts and crafts image assets are from @aroundthesims. Thanks as always to Sandy for her generosity and creativity in making Sims content! I originally only wanted to add the option to color/draw but this set of hers inspired me to add in more features. (hmm, maybe I shouldn't be thanking you then considering what a pain that was 🤔😅) All other objects and images are from TS4. Custom animations are by me using TS4 and TS3 as bases.
All buyable objects (table, crayons, puzzles) can be found in Kids Room/Toys.
Check out my other mods in the Kids and Toddlers series: Coloring Book for Kids, Toddler Bed, Toddler Foods and Snacks.
If you run into any issues (and YOU'VE READ THROUGH THE INSTRUCTIONS) please let me know!
Please read below the cut for all the details on features and how to play.
Download here | Alternate Link: SFS
Coloring: Toddlers and Kids can color if there is a crayon box on the lot. Just like using a coloring book, coloring a picture will take up one crayon. Coloring increases painting skill for both. When completed, the final project will be in their inventory.
Arts & Crafts: Toddlers and Kids can do an arts and craft project. Not additional object is needed. They go pretty crazy with the glitter and glue so it can be dirty stuff if they don't have the neat trait. This activity decreases their hygiene and they will get covered in glitter paint when done. Similar to coloring, when completed, the final project will go in their inventory and they get painting skill while playing.
Puzzles: You need to buy a puzzle box and have it on your lot to do puzzles. There are two puzzle boxes but they do the same thing. And they stack! (I love stackable things) There are 3 puzzle types: Easy, medium and Hard. Toddlers can only do Easy puzzles. Children can do either easy, medium or Hard puzzles depending on their Logic skill (for Hard, logic needs to be 3 or higher). The puzzle difficulty will also determine how long it takes to complete the puzzle. Teens+ can help with puzzles but they can't start a puzzle on their own. Toddlers can kids can start a puzzle on their own or help another Sim with a puzzle. Puzzles increase Logic skill for all those playing it but will increase faster for whoever starts the puzzle. If a puzzle is completed, everyone who helped put it together will get bonus skill points. If there is already a puzzle on the table, there is no option to start another, you can only help with the current puzzle. There are different puzzle images (15 in total) but there's no difference between them. The only thing that matters is puzzle difficulty. If the Sim who started the puzzle stops for whatever reason (you or the game cancels the interaction), everyone else helping will stop as well.
Eating: Children+ can serve toddlers meals or snacks. It works the same as my Toddler Foods and Snacks mod. They will place the tray/bowl on the activity table and then call the toddler to eat. If the toddler is hungry, they will go over and start eating. Otherwise, they can always eat it later.
Known Issues:
Animations aren't perfect (but what in life is?) so there's some clipping, especially on the toddlers when they kneel.
The comically large puzzle piece accessory jumps around a little and sits kind of weird in the toddler's hand. I suspect this is because the game is using the adult version of the object animation. I've noted it for fixing whenever I do a second pass on the mod.
The food tray is upside down. Setting object rotation in-game messes up the routing for the table so I'm leaving it as is as it doesn't really bother me.
If there is a food tray or bowl on the table, you shouldn't be able to do anything else there because that slot/part is being used but I had this happen once where my tester child started coloring there. It didn't happen again but if it does happen in your game, simply cancel out the interaction and route them to another part of the table.
The puzzle leaves a shadow even when it's pile form because the shadow mesh is there but you only see it until the geostate changes.
This is not an issue but the alternate material states for objects are only available in high so if you play with graphic settings for objects on medium or low, you're going to see the default image for the puzzles or pictures.
Tagging for reblogs: @kpccfinds @katsujiiccfinds @pis3update
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dduane · 3 months
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I graduated with a meteorology degree recently and I’m curious: have you ever thought about how wizards would respond to climate change?
The short answer: very carefully.
The longer answer:
As would befit a wizard setting out to solve a problem, one has to first fully tease out the various associated difficulties attached around the fringes of the problem... so that you don't (a) make the main problem worse when you start to intervene, and (b) make the ancillary problems worse too. (As one of those unwritten rules of wizardry is There is never just one problem.)
The first thing that becomes obvious is that "climate change" is way too big a thing, with too many causes, to just sit down and construct a wizardry to make the whole thing go away. (Or back to some arbitrary "reset" point.) You have to pick a spot—in the problem-solving sense of the term—to start an intervention that's within your power, or the ability of the group of wizards you're working with, to successfully complete. You also need to check that the wizardry you're planning won't interact badly with one that might already be running in the area, or (later) with a different one that's still in the planning stages. You're going to need to find a way to make it self-sustaining, or to channel sustenance into it from some other aspect of the ecosystem that's already working, with no danger of that other aspect's own persistence being threatened. And if your wizardry affects a large enough region, biome, or number of lives, you're absolutely going to have to clear it with Earth's Planetary wizard.
This isn't just a matter of keeping spell logistics from colliding, either. There are always ethical constraints to consider. And one of the main ones, since we're working in a planetary culture that's mostly sevarfrith, is that whatever intervention you're planning must not be liable to attract attention to itself. When running and producing its desired effects, it must appear (at least on the surface) to flow correctly from the presently understood science surrounding climate change.
For example: if it was possible to construct a wizardry powerful enough to immediately reduce the global average temperature by, oh, half a degree Centigrade—leaving aside the godawful storms and other climatic results that would more or less immediately ensue—such an intervention would play straight into the hands of climate change deniers. These people would (with reason, which you gave them!) promptly start bleating triumphantly, "See, we told you it was a blip!" And in the aftermath of this, sure enough, everybody goes back to their naughty carbon-spewing ways, and you've blown a lot of energy on a wizardry that's come to nothing in the long term... and your Planetary is very out of sorts with you.
What would be seen as far better practice would be to find ways to enhance already-working efforts at specific, targeted reductions or repairs. A wizardly intervention that boosts something of this sort into working a little better, a little faster, than it might have otherwise, will potentially attract far less attention than bolder or more speedily effective moves... and will also in the long run prove far less culturally destabilizing.
(There's a throwaway mention of something thematically similar to this approach in A Wizard of Mars. In this brief bit of background, it's revealed that wizards with puffer brushes and carefully-protected cans of "canned air" make a habit of popping up to the Red Planet in the wake of known dust storms, and blowing clean(er) the solar panels of Mars probes that need a little help of this kind to keep running. The dust storms provide perfectly plausible deniability for the improved operational status: the scientists back on Earth are pleased enough that their probes are able to keep running that no one bothers to question the circumstances too closely: and the wizards get to reassure the probes, en passant, that their ongoing efforts are appreciated. It's a win-win situation all round.)
On the other hand: in situations where current science is as yet unable to detect changes occurring, there's still some room for maneuver. For example, again in Wizard of Mars, there's some discussion of the great 19th-century wizardry now referred to as the Gibraltar Passthrough Intervention. At the time the famous hydromage and Planetary wizard Angelina Pellegrino enacted this work, no Earthly science was capable of detecting except in extremely gross detail exactly what had been going wrong with seawater exchange between the Atlantic and the Mediterranean. And no science then extant was capable of detecting what was going on down by the Camarinal Sill to put the problem right... or at least keep it from getting any worse.
Nowadays, of course, the Passthrough (which I gather from the Errantry Concordance entry is still operational in YWverse-canon) has been running for so long that it's routinely mistaken by oceanic specialists for a natural phenomenon: some kind of historical shift in the thermohalic flows between the Atlantic and the Med, kicked off secondary to (insert handwave here) European subsurface tectonics, or previous ill-understood and undocumented solar mechanics, or some other damn thing. ...Sunspots! That's the ticket; let's blame sunspots. At least the flow between the two bodies isn't getting any worse, and that's what counts, isn't it? :)))))
So the whole point, from the wizardly point of view, would be to enact beneficial change to our planet's current nasty situation in some manner that can't be spotted happening... but also won't upend or cast into disrepute what we already know about climate science. Because seriously, there's a lot to do, and as this emergency unfolds, the planet needs all the help it can get. And sometimes the work of nonwizards of good will is the best, and least entropic, intervention available.
Hope this has shed some light!
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banamine-bananime · 25 days
Note
Growing up I lived in an area with a lot of cattle farming and I was very scared of the cows. Do you have any cool facts that will make me either more or less afraid of cows?
oh hmm let me think on that!
facts related to how to interact with cows so all parties feel and stay safe:
they have a very prey herd animal mentality. they want to move with their herdmates. they want to watch any potential threats like people and move away from them. they don't like loud or unfamiliar noises (they're sensitive souls. sometimes if i visit a dairy wearing waterproof coveralls where the cows are only used to people wearing cotton coveralls, just the whisper of waterproof pants rubbing against each other can spook them) or abrupt movements or going into areas they can't see well (and they have difficulty with depth perception due to their wide-set eyes for 300 degree vision, and with high-contrast, so going from sun into shade or vice versa can look like stepping into a white or black void for them and they don't like it)
based on this, we know the keys to low-stress cattle handling are consistency in how you interact with them, calmness (small movements, quiet words to let them know you're there), moving cows in groups big enough to have friends but small enough you can control the whole group without them milling around or the ones in front stopping and causing a traffic jam, and slowly moving them by just barely getting in their "bubble" of "whoa, you're a little too close for comfort, i'm going to move in the other direction" without ever getting into their "YIKES RUN AWAY FROM THIS THING" bubble
the last point involves understanding pressure and flight zones and point of balance:
from Mississippi State University Extension:
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from grandin.com (highly recommend as a source of information about animal behaviour and welfare!!! temple grandin my idol since i was like nine i love her so. and i tear up when i think about how much she's done for millions of animals ;_; she's a genius and no lie revolutionized low-stress handling):
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pet cows that get doted on enough to bond with people may not see people as a threat so the normal ways we use pressure zones to iinteract with cows don't necessarily do anything for them. you would lead them more like a horse, using a halter. or lure them with treats.
beef cows typically have little contact with people, often just processing (vaccines, preg checks, quick exam for any health problems) a couple times a year, so they can be very wild. doesn't mean they're aggressive, the overwhelming majority are non-aggressive but they have very large flight zones, so if you don't recognize that and approach too quickly, getting deep in their flight zone, that can get you into a dangerous situation where they get aggressive as a last resort. that said, they do usually still choose flight unless their calf is with them. "never get between mom and baby" applies as it does with any species
dairy cows are in between beef cows and pet cows. they interact with people regularly, several times per day, and it's respectful but not doting. kind of a business relationship with their handlers. they're not terrified of people by any means, but they haven't been, like, hand-fed treats to get over their instinctive wariness of potential-predator-like animals, and they know sometimes handling results in unpleasant experiences like medical treatment or pregnancy checks, so they avoid touch and have a flight zone, though it's small (and sometimes they'll calmly let you walk right up to them unrestrained, or approach you and lick you out of curiosity). very very rare to have an aggressive dairy cow (as in, one that attacks you instead of moving away when you're bothering them a little. really bothering them and ignoring body language when they can't move away is much more likely to get you kicked)
bulls are not docile. not every bull will be aggressive, but you should assume that every bull has the capacity to become aggressive with little provocation, and always keep a respectful distance and know your escape route if you have to be in a pen or field with them
cows love exploring with their tongues. any time you're in a dairy barn there's gonna be at least one friendly girl mlem mlem mlemming who won't leave you alone
adding on to the above, there is a slight caveat that you still have to be a LITTLE wary of friendly cows. 99% of the time they're just friendly but sometimes cows in heat will try to mount people. you don't have to be scared of friendly cows but if they're right next to you just keep them in your line of sight so you can move away if they make like they're going to mount. again, not common, never happened to me, but something to be aware of
signs of a happy, relaxed cow: lying down, chewing cud or eating, tail hanging down relaxed, moving slowly with her herd
signs of a slightly wary cow (you have entered the "pressure zone"): standing still/stopping what she's doing, turning towards you, ears turning towards you (watching the ears is a very good way of knowing what she's paying attention to), tail swishing or raised a bit away from body
signs of a distressed cow: vocalizing (they also moo for other reasons though), tail swishing, fidgeting/pawing/looking like she wants to move but doesn't know where to, freezing up and intermittently making erratic movements (back away a little)
signs of an aggressive cow: head down with attention on you, pawing ground, turning to show you their broad side. (turn sideways and calmly but swiftly walk away diagonally)
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hannieehaee · 26 days
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ARE WE STILL FRIENDS (teaser)
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18+ / mdi
summary: being besties with two of the most popular idols in korea always came with a few rumors here and there, but what happened when one of your platonic besties suddenly started acting a little friendlier than usual? or worse, what happened when they both turned their affections to you?
content: idol!au, hybeidol!reader x idol!mingyu, hybeidol!reader x idol!jungkook, 97liner!reader, friends2lovers, not mingyu x jk (they just share u like all besties would<3), not that much plot, afab reader, smut, oral (f and m receiving), body worship, fingering, penetrative sex, etc.
(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)
wc: 1.3k (teaser); 8.2k (full fic)
release date: april 27th
or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!
a/n: decided to write a little surprise fic!! ive been getting into bts lately and so this was born<3
masterlist | kofi/patreon
support me through a one time tip<3
"Do you think the company would get mad if we did a live together right now?", Jungkook pondered out loud as the three of you sat on different pieces of furniture around his large living room.
"Yeah."
"They didn't seem to mind when Jungkook and I did it that one time," disagreed Mingyu.
"Yeah, but I'm the girl. I'm the one who wakes up to new dating rumors every time we hang out publicly."
"Yeah, but people must know we're just friends by now, right? It's been years."
That much was true.
You weren't sure of the exact date, but your friendship with both boys predated the overall international success of Kpop as of recent years. When you had met both boys, they had barely battled their way through puberty – though you weren't faring any better.
The media enjoyed making the three of you a subject, knowing that you were evidently the closest out of all members of the popular 97s friend group. Being the only girl integrant, it was common for people to have the misconception that you were romantically involved with either Mingyu or Jungkook, seeing as you were often spotted in public with them.
You'd gotten used to the rumors and hate that came attached to being their friend, now usually leaving those things in the back burner rather than letting them bother you. By now, the three of you were a bit more careless about being seen together. Being seniors in the industry, those things didn't matter much to you anymore, but being seen inside Jungkook's house would surely stir up the worst rumors to date, so going live with him was entirely out of the question.
It did bother you sometimes; the double standard. While Jungkook and Mingyu could even interact in public or mention each other freely, any time you did so you were met with hate from either fandom, sometimes even your own. It also made you worry about your future. Could you ever be in a relationship without facing the brunt of all the hate that would come your way? At 26 years of age, it was a frustrating reality to think about.
Jungkook got up at some point to go fetch some more bottles of soju. Apparently the seven bottles the three of you had drank collectively weren't enough for the large men you were drinking with.
While Jungkook was gone, Mingyu got up from his seat on the couch opposite to you and took a seat down next to you, invading your personal space like he usually did.
"Worrying your pretty little head about something?", asked Mingyu as he leaned over you, taking the occasional sip from his drink.
"It's nothing."
"C'mon, what's up?", his hand ran up and down your arm in a soothing manner.
Invading your space and being overly touchy usually meant that he was tipsy. But to be fair, you were a bit tipsy too.
"Do you ever think about dating?"
"Who? You?", he chuckled.
"No, dumbass. I mean in general."
He seemed to sober up a little at the mention of the subject, straightening up a bit as he sat sideways on the couch so he could look at you fully.
"What's got you thinking about that?"
"I don't know ... I'm 26 now. Isn't it time I started settling down? Have someone filling up the other half of the bed," you pondered, feeling a bit pathetic as you did so.
Mingyu let out a quiet sound of confusion, eyebrows furrowed and head leaning to the side in question.
"Isn't that what me and Jungkook are for?"
Not taking him seriously, you chuckled and took a swing of your almost empty bottle of soju.
"I'm serious, Mingyu. I mean a romantic relationship, where, you know, it's just us and we do couple things and we settle down and all that stuff."
"What can you do with some guy that you couldn't do with us?", he grabbed both your drinks and set them on the table.
Suddenly, his demeanor seemed a bit more serious, which confused you.
Where the hell was Jungkook with those drinks?
"I- Are you serious? Do you need me to tell you?"
"Yeah, I mean, why would you need to look for some guy if you have us?"
Oh. He was serious.
"Because we're friends?," you were beyond confused, "I can't go out with you romantically, or move in with you, or," you gulped, "or sleep with you."
"You can't?", he scoot closer to you.
"Mingyu ..."
"I just mean ... Why would you go after some loser when we can just take care of you?", his hand went back to touching you, though this time it ran up and down your thigh rather than your arm. That false semblance of innocence was gone, "You want someone to keep your bed warm? You don't even have to ask ... I'll do it- we'll do it."
Through his short speech, he got closer and closer, just as the air in the room got heavier. The atmosphere itself shifted dramatically, specially with Mingyu so close to you.
Mingyu was the touchiest man you'd ever known. Being his best friend, you had fallen victim to his touchy demeanor endless times, but never like this. Never while his eyes were hooded and heavy with some emotion you'd never seen in them before.
"Gyu, I-"
"Can I show you?", he rasped, eyes now on your lips.
"Y-you're drunk," you were sure that must've been it. The combination between drinking and talking about dating must've short circuited his brain.
"Just tipsy ... Tipsy enough to get the balls to tell you how much I want you ... but lucid enough to remember how many times I've thought about this."
The hands on your thighs moved to your waist, closing in on you, slowly pulling you toward him. By the end of it, you were halfway sitting on his lap.
"You've thought about this?"
Your nervous hands went to his shoulders for support, easily giving in to him.
"So many times. Jungkook too," he chuckled as he began burying his head in your neck, lips ghosting the sensitive skin.
Lacking any control of your body, you repositioned yourself to allow him better access to you, now fully on his lap as he sat sideways on the couch, arms wrapped fully around you and face buried in your neck.
"Gyu, I-"
"Yeah? Is this okay? Is it okay if I kiss your neck like this? This is what you wanted, right? Someone to take care of you?", he mumbled as he made his way to your ear with breathy kisses.
You were burning up, completely powerless to Mingyu. It was kind of embarrassing how easily you gave in to him. How you had been entirely unaware of his want for you until five minutes ago, yet you were now pliant in his hold, willing to listen to his senseless argument about him and Jungkook being good replacement for a relationship. You also had that to think about – the Jungkook aspect of it all.
The reminder of Jungkook's presence woke you up a bit, remembering that you were literally sitting on your best friend's lap while in your other best friend's living room.
With half a mind to let Mingyu do whatever he wanted to do with you, you powered your way through your decision to pull him away from your neck.
"Gyu, wait. Kook could get here any minute-"
"Don't stop on my account. Seemed like you were having fun without me."
Your head snapped to the door at the introduction of the raspy voice of your best friend, finding said friend leaning against the doorframe with a few drinks in one hand and a few ramen cups stacked on the other.
"Jungkook-"
"So, can someone catch me up?", he got closer, dropping off all the food he was carrying on the table and sitting next to you on the couch.
...
read today on ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one<3
NOTE: it wont let me reply to people anymore but ill be tagging everyone who comments asking to be tagged just letting u guys know<3
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sanjisboyfie · 5 months
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draken as your attentive boyfriend
requested, thank u for whoever requested this literally felt my heart explode writing this because dear god i love draken sososososoo much. like to be so fr hes my hashtag dream man ! NOT ALL SELFINDULGENT WHAHHTTT
-> draken x ftm reader, sfw & nsfw portions (cw at that part) -> fem alligned, minors, and blank blogs dni !! DNI !! if i see you interact, i will block you
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sfw
— draken who lets you play with his hair, enjoys it a lot, actually. the soft black strands are at your mercy. whatever you wanna do to it, even if it's tying it in some pretty bow and making him walk around the shop with it like that, he loves it. when you guys are just chilling in your humble apartment, his head is in your lap and he's almost asleep with the way your fingers gently run over his scalp and through his hair.
"dude, seriously?" one of his customers said, looking at his black hair that had pink ribbons tying them at their ends since you had styled his hair in two simple plaited braids.
"what about 'em?" draken snarled, leaning against the counter and not-so subtly flexing his muscular arms. "my boyfriend did it for me, you got a problem with it?"
cue the customer very nervously shaking their head as your boyfriend continues glaring down at him as if he were nothing but an insect.
— he lets you borrow his clothes whenever you want. considering how large he is, they more often than not end up fitting you pretty oversized or just right. he smiles whenever you greet him in the morning and you're wearing one of his shirts or his sweatpants that are sagging loosely off of your waist (not to mention the bottoms of the pant legs are dragging on the floor). also doesn't care if you wanna borrow his boxers either. he's a clean guy. he washes his underwear, so obviously it's fine if you take some of his to wear.
you had quietly asked if you could use one of his boxers as shorts around the house. he noticed your meek demeanor when asking, as if you were expecting outright rejection.
and he quickly pulled you in by your waist, kissing the top of your head as he said he obviously didn't mind. he kisses your cheek when he hands them to you.
"we can always buy you some of your own too," he comments, then quickly adding in, "not that i mind you wearing mine! it's just, if you ever wanted your own couple pairs, baby, we can always go out and buy some," he assures you, sitting on the bed as you stand in between his legs.
his hands are lovingly caressing the backsides of your thighs, drawing random shapes as he speaks softly to you, "but, next time, don't even ask, alright? what's mine is yours," he waits for you to nod to show that you understand before smiling and pressing a kiss to your lips.
in general, he loves seeing you in his clothes and if he knows that the oversized clothing acts as a simple safe haven, he makes sure you know that he could care less if you steal a couple shirts or hoodies.
"just don't touch my socks, alright? can never keep track of them as it is, if both of us started wearing them, i'd be fucked."
— hovers close in public, always keeping an eye on you no matter where you are. old habits die hard, he guesses, since he's almost always in constant worry mode whenver you guys go out. it's been a long time since his deliquency days, but he's never not going to be paranoid. just let him rest his arm over your shoulder or rest his hand on your waist, it really puts his mind at ease.
the two of you were going grocery shopping to stock up your pantry and fridge. draken was pressing his chest to your back, nonchalant with the close proximity the two of you were in with each other. his hands were even pushing the cart in front of you, playfully scoffing when you told him you could do it.
"make my pretty boy do the work? don't think so," he chuckled when you told him you could do it, kissing the top of your head to get you to forget about it. because there was no way he was going to let you.
he reaches over your head for some things, dropping them into the cart without a second thought. if you motion for him to grab anything, he's got it in his hands in the blink of an eye. really attentive to what you want, in general.
also he likes to boost his own ego by doing this, teasing you that, "i'm just the best boyfriend, right? man, you're a lucky guy to lock me down, huh?" as he's nuzzling his nose into your neck, making you smack him away at how affectionate he was being.
another instance when draken is painfully aware of his surroundings is when you two are walking down the street. the location of your guys' apartment isn't the greatest, but it's also not the worst. he's just really aware of whatever is going on around you two, even if you're just walking around.
it was nighttime and the both of you were getting a craving for some junkfood. so a quick walk to the conveinent store, like two blocks down, was the only answer.
he had your hand tightly gripped in his, listening to you list out all the things that you wanted from the store and nodding every now and then.
"we can also get some dinner there, right? you want some instant ramen, baby?" he asks gently, looking down at you with a smirk, "dare you to get the extra spicy one and eat the whole thing without taking a sip of water!"
just as you're about to scold him for being so ridiculous, a random person jumps out of the alleyway you guys were just about to pass.
draken pulls you behind him faster than you could react and nails the guy right in the balls. the clattering of a metal hitting concrete is the next thing you hear after the guy's groans and you peak over draken's arm to see the state of the random man.
"shit, fuckass cops need to do a better job around here," draken sighs, acting as if that wasn't even a big deal. he still had your hands in his, so he wasn't that phased. as long as you stayed close, he would be as cool as cucumber. "are you alright, [name]?"
his soft eyes settled on you and was pleased to see you were physically fine.
"well, let's get that spicy ramen! you're treating though, since i just saved our lives!" he teases, kicking the guy's face as you both walk past and not looking back once.
once you get rung up at the counter though, he's tapping his card before you can react and kissing your cheek lovingly, "d'ya really think i'd let you pay? c'mon now," he teases, biting your cheek lightly before guiding the both of you to the window seats the conveience store had.
— the "d" in draken actually stands for domesticity !!! loves to wake up next to you, both of you having really messy hair. loves brushing his teeth next to you in the mirror, fuck - he loves when you guys are just in the bathroom at the same time. it's a really intimate thing that he's really, genuinely happy you're that comfortably with each other that you've reached that point together in the relationship. loves to feel you hug him from behind as he prepares you guys breakfast. loves to just laze away on the couch together on his days off. loves loves loves making your small apartment a cute home for the two of you.
draken leans against the bathroom sink, brushing his teeth as he tries to will himself to get excited for the day. you were in the shower, telling him it was one of the mornings you needed a shower to actually get energized. you two were just that tired.
and when you come out of the shower dripping wet, he spits out the toothpaste in his mouth and continues through his routine without wasting a beat. he turns to you as you're drying your naked body, easily maintaining eye contact as he asks, "what you want for breakfast? i'll make it,"
you think for a moment, roughly drying your hair with a towel as you do. and before you can respond, he's coming over with a scowl on his face, taking the towel from your hands.
"seriously? we talked about how bad that is for your hair, idiot," he scolds you, taking the opportunity to do it for you. there's really no need for him to do it, you would have heeded his warning and dried it more gently, but he felt a warmth bloom in his chest as he took care of you.
draken doesn't know it, but he really was made to be a husband. he's just that attentive and caring. (lock him down right now-)
! nsfw, draken x ftm reader
cw: use of the word hole and cunt.
— the thing with draken is that, a lot of people assume he's a hard dom and that's all he is !! not too far from the truth, tbh, but !!! still, he doesn't mind handing you the reins if you ever want to give it a go or if you're just feeling it. he doesn't mind anything. he's a big "go with the flow" type of guy. so if you feel like domming him, say less, just tell him where to stick his dick and he's for it.
— okay, no seriously, though, he's a big listener and believes so heavily in communication (as all good partners should-). tell him your limits / what you liked and what you don't like once and he'll remember it for the entirety of your relationship.
— throughout your relationship and developement of your sexlife, there is one thing about draken that never changes. and it's with how vocal he is. whether it be through the sounds he makes or the words he says to you or under his breath, this man will always be showing you with his voice how good you're making him feel. you get the best of both worlds, praise and degradation (<- depends on the night).
"fuck, my pretty boy, you're so tight," he moans as he grips your hips, slamming into you as his jaw is dropped at the sensation of you around him. he's ducking his head into your neck in a second, placing open mouthed kisses and leaving a couple hickies over your skin.
draken's groans are almost louder than the sounds your cunt is making. it's almost like he wants to drown it out, but really, it's all just him unable to quiet down. you just make him feel so good, how the hell do you expect him to be quiet? not when you're practically sucking him back in each time he shifts his hips backwards. not when your fucked out face is looking up at him.
you're perfect for him, he's convinced of it.
— really into body worship. kisses ever inch of your skin and if it were up to him, he'd make you cum ten times over just by playing with you. he doesn't even have to use his cock to get you there, he's sure of it. (he's got a big ego for a reason, though, trust. draken's got a big dick and knows how to use it).
"so fucking hot," he praises right into your ear as he's fingering your sopping wet hole with his fingers. he was laid up against the headboard of the bed, with you putting your entire weight onto his chest. his arms were draped over your torso, eyes trained on where his fingers were disappearing inside of you. "gonna ruin you, baby, gonna fucking ruin you,"
you moan as his palm rubs against your clit, squirming your hips away at the overwhelming sensation. he clicks his tongue, using his entire arm to wrap around you and hold your hips still.
"you drive me crazy," he curses, nipping at your neck and smirking at the mewl you let out, "get so fucking hard just thinking of you, baby. wish i could just fuck you for the rest of my life, don't need anything else when i got my handsome boy right here,"
spends a lot of time just running his tongue over ever inch of your body. every kiss he places on your body earns you a praise of how perfect you are for him. draken is the definition of a service top, he's there to please you and make you feel good.
it's his favorite thing in the world, making you feel good to the point of no return.
— most annoying part of draken's personality is that he's a fucking tease. if he feels like making you work for it, he will make you work for it. he's rarely ever mean, but when he is mean, he gives you a hardass time. but don't worry, he makes up for it by fucking you stupid <3
draken coos, holding your jaw so easily in his hands, "beg better than that, pup," his other hand is holding the base of his semi-hard cock. you're kneeling in front of him, lips in a perfect pout (the sight of them glistening with a mixture of his and yours saliva makes him hard real quick). he slaps the tip of his dick to your lips, smirking when you instinctively drop your jaw to let him hit your tongue.
"want me to fuck your throat? hm? use your words," he drawls, but doesn't show any sign of pulling his dick out of your mouth when you close your lips around him. the only response you give him is a moan that sends shivers down his spine. his hand buries itself into your hair, controlling the pace you bob your head at.
as the drool drops down to your knees from your chin, he shoves you off of his dick, almost wincing at the cold air that contrasts with the warmth that once surrounded him.
"still haven't heard you beg for it," he reminds you, making you roll your eyes with a newfound pissed off expression on your face. he notices that, quirking his eyebrow, "don't give me that look, brat,"
he tugs on your hair, making you crane your neck backwards to follow the movement, "is that what you are now? a brat? what happened to my good boy that did as he was told?" a cruel grin comes over his face, "or are you just acting out cause you wanna be fucked like one?"
in the blink of an eye, he's so easily picking you up off of your position on the floor and tossing you onto the bed, "always wanted to fuck you dumb. have you remembering nothing but my name," he pulls back from your chest, where he was previously placing wet kisses on, "you want that? want my cock buried inside you?"
and, of course, the answer is obvious.
-
if you want a more focused drabble of nsfw draken instead of just these headcanons lmk <3 and i'll get to it some time muah
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deepfakefart · 2 months
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EDIT: please see @cliffsideview's replies for more info! Tragically it is sounding more probable that it was a suicide spurred by a long period of bullying. Every person who participated, every teacher who stood by, every legislator who is a proponent of the anti-trans bills – every one of them is complicit in Nex's death. Ryan Walters specifically has blood on his hands.
They're ruling Nex Benedict's death a suicide. Death due to "combined toxicity" of fluoxetine (Prozac) and diphenhydramine (benadryl). Let's explore this.
Fluoxetine is known to cause seizures at very high dosages but rarely causes death. In one case study, 1.4 grams of Prozac likely caused a seizure but not death in an adult woman. "A dose as low as 520 mg of fluoxetine has been associated with a lethal outcome, but there’s record of someone taking 8 grams of fluoxetine and recovering," according to Healthline. ("Associated with" does not necessarily mean the sole cause!) Diphenhydramine overdose has been known to cause death at doses of 20mg/kg or greater; in the USA in 2017, it was involved (but not necessarily the sole factor) in 3% of OD deaths according to the CDC. I've no clue how much Nex weighed but I based my math on a 100lb person. A lethal dose of diphenhydramine at that weight would have been approx 900mg. There is no known lethal dose of fluoxetine for humans. It can vary greatly but is generally safe and generally requires very large doses to cause seizures let alone death. There are no known serious drug interactions between these two drugs.
But let's say there is some interaction at unusually high doses that I don't know about because this is an extremely unusual combination for a suicide attempt. We know that Benadryl is much easier to OD on than Prozac is. So let's pull some numbers out of our asses and say 750mg of diphenhydramine plus 3g of fluoxetine equals lethal dose for a 100lb teenager.
The typical upper range of fluoxetine dosage is 80mg/day. If we assume that Nex was taking 100mg of fluoxetine/day and he had access to a full 30 day supply, that's 3 grams. Add confounding head trauma and diphenhydramine toxicity and...maybe???
But we're talking about someone downing a full or nearly full 30 day supply of high doses of fluoxetine AND about 30 tablets of Benadryl. And there were no signs until he entered the living room and collapsed? Fluoxetine toxicity can cause rapid heartbeat, irritability, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, etc. Diphenhydramine toxicity can cause confusion, irregular heartbeat, agitation, nausea, vomiting, etc. This combo seems like a very uncomfortable and unpleasant way to go and I'm meant to believe he was quiet, not vomiting, not agitated, not terrified – just walked into the living room and collapsed? Unless he was exhibiting those symptoms and Sue didn't say anything about it which doesn't add up either. She said Nex went to bed with a headache and we have audio of the 911 call. She mentions their eyes rolling back and their hands "posturing" (both those things could be related to brain damage or a seizure).
With the added complication of head trauma (blacking out due to head injury = concussion = brain injury), I guess death is feasible but this just doesn't feel right. I don't know. Maybe it was a perfect storm of circumstances but those two drugs are so hard to OD on, not to mention unpleasant to OD on, and this state is so hostile to trans people it's hard not to approach this with a TON of skepticism.
I hope the Benedict family had their own toxicology and autopsy done.
ETA: for the record, im not saying I agree with the suicide decision, I'm saying "I mean I guess technically it's possible but it seems highly unlikely and incredibly sus and I am not convinced"
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