#and i liked hers so we had a little makeup 101 exchange and it was so nice at least 🥺

[kaidabakugou]

the new girl at one of my favorite bakeries called me pretty this morning and it literally melted all my stress away 🥺

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Victoria Konefal, Days of our Lives

Victoria Konefal has portrayed Ciara Brady on the Daytime Emmy-winning soap opera Days of our Lives since 2017. The role has earned Victoria recognition within the industry, and she received her first Daytime Emmy nomination last year for Outstanding Younger Actress in a Drama Series. Aside from Days of our Lives, Victoria also starred in the Lifetime movies The Wrong Crush and Deadly Exchange, had a guest stint on Modern Family, and will play the villain in the indie horror film Fog City. We sat down with her to talk about Days of our Lives, being authentically herself on social media, and more. 

You’ve been portraying Ciara in Days of our Lives since 2017. What’s it like to stay with a character for so long? What are your favorite ways in which the character has developed over that time?

There are pros and cons to playing a character for that long. The pros are that I have time to really shape her and get to know her personality. Ciara is someone that I know from the inside out and I think that’s pretty rad. That being said, it also presents a challenge for me in that I feel as though I’m no longer being challenged. I know her SO well that there is little for me to discover about her day to day, unless a storyline were to occur where she magically switches consciousness with someone else. Then I’d have a whole lot of work to do. Ciara’s life is starting to get pretty repetitive, so as an actress I’m finding that I’m no longer hungry for the character. That happens pretty often on shows with multiple seasons, but it rings differently for soap operas since we film close to 300 episodes a year.

What’s your go-to karaoke song?

Anything by Amy Winehouse, “Black Dog” by Led Zeppelin, or “Drunk in Love” by Beyoncé.

You took part in a SAG Conversations panel about ‘Ladies of Daytime Drama.’ What does it mean to you to be able to contribute a strong female character to such a popular medium?

It means the world, and when I think about it in detail I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. In an industry, or rather in a society in general where women are rarely considered equals, it is of utmost importance to do what we can to inspire other women to be whatever they want to be. To remind them of their strength. Film and television is a powerful platform to do that on, and our viewers are predominantly women so it’s wonderful to be able to play a character they can look up to and learn from. It was an absolute honor to speak on that panel, and looking back on it, it still leaves me speechless.

Do you have any guilty pleasures? What are they?

Watching Love is Blind on Netflix. I have never been a reality show kind of girl, but something about that show gets to me.

You’re very active on social media, what do you like about interacting with fans online?

I like that I get to show them snippets of my daily life, especially the not so glamorous stuff. I tend to be blunt with full frontal honesty on social media because I like depicting the life of a real woman, not just a modern day “Instagram influencer.” Social media tends to focus on portraying all of the wonderful things in life, and life is obviously not always sunshine and rainbows. I consider that my biggest responsibility when thinking of the eyeballs on my page. Perpetuating perfectionism in any capacity on social media can lead to others feeling inadequate, like you’re doing something wrong if you aren’t living this perfect life and aren’t happy all the time. I like reminding my followers that that is not the case, and we all have our moments sometimes. I also like using my platform to educate my viewers on global awareness and climate change, along with many other causes close to my heart.

Are you in any fandoms?

I’m not in any fandoms, I never got into that concept but I do love Jada and Will Smith! I follow that entire family on Instagram and I think they are goals, period. I also am fond of Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. They’re so wonderfully dorky.

You’re in a burning house—what are the first three things you grab before running outside?

My dog, my family videos that I still have on VHS, and this jewelry box I have that’s specifically for my sentimental pieces.

Can you tell us about your first time ever performing in front of an audience?

I was in preschool and it was my first school play. I was Snow White. I don’t remember much but I remember that when it came time for the prince to kiss me, he just handed me a massive Hershey’s Kiss and I thought it was the cutest thing ever. I was disappointed to find that it was in fact NOT real, but merely structured out of aluminum foil. How to break a preschoolers heart 101, am I right?

Some of the characters you have played have dark sides to them. What draws you to these roles?

The ability to play around and test my comfort zone. Playing a character with a dark side is particularly challenging, and I love a good challenge.

What’s next for you?

Right now, the world is temporarily put on hold and we don’t really have an end date, so I guess what’s next is just embracing the waiting.

Thanks for taking the time, Victoria! 

Photo: Yasmine Kateb |  Hair: Sarah Ault | Makeup: Anton Khachaturian 

[assembledherethevolunteers]

College Friends

A/N: Hi everybody! And SURPRISE  @rhapsodyrecs  ! I’m your secret author for @yourlocalmusicalprostitute Possessed By Love Event! I hope you (and everybody else) enjoys it!

 Pairing: Joe Mazzello x fem!reader

Warnings: Implied smut (nothing explicit, but just in case), references to drinking, cursing? (I honestly don’t remember if I put any in there or not,but better safe than sorry), bed-sharing 

You threw a bag of chips into the cart and then looked around for more snacks.

“I think we’re good on snacks,” Kodi chuckled.

“Not if Marcus is coming,” you replied, another bag of chips making its way into the cart.

“Alright, good point, but we can make a trip to the store once we get there.”

You and a group of friends from college were going on an extended weekend trip to the beach, staying at an AirBnB. You were leaving in the morning and you were so excited. You needed time away from work.

“Alright, when we get back to my place, we’ll pack it the van,” Kodi told you after you got everything in your car from the store. You’d rented a van so you could all fit in one car.

“Sounds good to me. What time are we going to leave in the morning?”

“I think around 8, but I told Sahara 9 so that she might actually be on time.”

You laughed.  

The two of you talked about how much fun the five you would be having at the beach.

“I’m ready to just goooo,” Kodi whined as you puled into the parking lot of her building. “Work has been so shitty lately.”

“I know,” you told her as you parked next to the van. “You deserved that promotion.”

“Tell me about it. Whatever. I just want to go to the beach and get drunk.”

“Two things I can help with, don’t you worry.”

“And maybe get laid.”

“Well, let’s see how drunk we get.”

You and Kodi laughed as you got out of the car. The two of you transferred your groceries from your car to the van when somebody came up and grabbed your hips.

You jumped and spun around with a scream, ready to attack the person.

“Hey! Hey, calm down!” The voice was laughing as you swung your arms, making minimal contact.

You met eyes with your ‘attacker’ and gasped for a moment at that familiar hazel. “Joe?”

He held his arms out for a hug, but you didn’t go into them. Kodi did though, hugging him tight.

“Joe! What are you doing back in town?!”

“I just wrapped on a movie and thought I’d come see you guys!” Joe pulled away from Kodi and looked at you with a big grin.

“So Mister Hollywood is gracing us with his presence once again, huh?” You replied with an eye roll.

“Ah, Y/N, great to see you, too.”

Joe Mazzello. The unaccounted for sixth member of your college friend group.

The six of you had met and made a study group for your Psych 101 class freshmen year. After that, you were inseparable. The six of you had stayed friends since you all had left school, which was actually a surprise to all of you, but somehow it had worked.

“How long are you in town?” Kodi asked.

“Just this week, so I wanted to see if you guys were doing anything this weekend and…”

“Aw shucks, Joey, we’re actually going to be out of town this weekend,” you clicked your tongue. Joe’s face fell and Kodi elbowed you in the side.

“Oh, well, that’s okay, maybe I can hang out with Marcus and…” Joe stopped talking at the look on Kodi’s face.

“We’re actually going with them too, we sort of threw this together last minute long weekend to the beach,” Kodi gave Joe a half smile. “We didn’t know you’d be home otherwise we would’ve asked you!” Kodi started spewing out excuses but Joe held his hand up.

“Kodi, it’s alright I can…”

“Well,” Kodi looked at you and then back to Joe. “Give us one sec,” she grabbed your arm and then pulled you out of ear shot of Joe.

“No,”you told her, already knowing where the conversation was going.

“Come ON, Y/N. Joe’s one of our friends too.”

You scoffed, not looking at her.

“There’s room for Joe at the Air BnB and he’ll make it fun! You guys used to be so close. What happened?”

You sighed.

Yes, you and Joe had been close. Until he slept with your roommate at the end of freshman year even though the two of you had spent the entire semester flirting and you had thought you’d made it clear that you liked him. You hadn’t wanted to mess up the group dynamic so you’d never said anything, but you had stopped hanging with Joe just the two of you.

“I just want to have fun, alright? And if Joe comes people will probably stop us and want pictures and…”

“Stop. When was the last time any of that happened?”

You paused to honestly try and think of a time, but couldn’t think of one.

"Come on, we haven’t seen him in like a year. Please?”

You thought about it and looked back at Joe, who had started grabbing bags of groceries out the car. For the most part, yes, he was a good guy. Maybe you’d been too hard on him.

“Fine, let’s invite him.”

“Yes!” Kodi hugged you and gave you a kiss on the cheek. She turned back to Joe and almost ran to him. You followed slowly behind her.

“So, Joe, if you’re not doing anything this weekend, would you want to come with us?”

Joe’s face lit up. “Really?” He looked to you.

You nodded reluctantly.

“Yeah! I’d uh…I would love to come. Only if everybody’s okay with it,” he replied, still looking at you.

“Yeah, I’m fine. We should probably get this stuff inside.” You grabbed the 24 pack of water and headed inside.

You went home and ran over your packing list one more time. You were pretty sure you had everything. You opened your suitcase and saw your old swim suit that you had grabbed. You took it out and grabbed your favorite two piece instead. If Joe was coming, you were going to let him know what he was missing out on.

“I’m here!” Sahara came running into the kitchen the next morning. “I’m sorry I’m late but I have a good reason!” She practically skidded to a stop. She was the last to arrive, so everybody was sitting at the kitchen table or leaning against the counter.

“You’re not actually,” Kodi smiled at you, knowing she’d done the right thing by telling Sahara an hour earlier than you should have.

“What do you…?” Sahara looked around when she noticed Joe leaning against the counter drinking coffee. Sahara squealed and threw herself in Joe’s arms.

“Oof!” Joe laughed as he hugged her back. “Well hi.”

“When did you get here?! How was filming? Are you coming with us? Is…?”

“Sa, sh…it’s waaaay too early for that,” Marcus grumbled.

“I don’t even care! I’m so excited that you’re here!”

Everybody (except you) laughed and Joe let her go.

“We should get everybody’s bags in the car,” Dylan clapped his hands together. Everybody grabbed their bags and headed out to the van. Except you and Joe because your bags were already in the car.

You could feel the tension in the kitchen grow once you realized that the two of you were alone.

Joe cleared his throat. “Y/N, I um…thanks for inviting me.”

“Well, it was Kodi’s idea,” you told him as you set your coffee cup in the sink.

“Yeah, but you also agreed to it. I know we’ve had…” Joe gestured as if he were going to catch what he was trying to say. “A falling out. And I’m not sure what exactly happened but, I’m hoping that maybe we can…mend things?”

You stared at him, trying to come up with a response. What the hell did he mean he didn’t know what he did?

“How can you…?”

“Hey! Are you two ready?!” Kodi yelled in to the two of you.

“Let’s get going,” you blew past Joe to join your friends. This was going to be a long weekend.

The trip to the Air BnB was about a four hour drive. Kodi drove the whole way and you were in the passenger seat. Everybody else was piled into the back of the van.

The ride wasn’t horrible. Actually, it was pretty fun. Joe always had a way of making everybody laugh, even when you tried not to.

Once you got there, you all split up and took rooms. The only problem was there were only 5 beds.

“Where’s Joe going to sleep?” Kodi asked as she and Sahara sat on your bed, watching you unpack some things after.

“Not here,” you told her.

“I know that, but Dylan and Marcus’ room only have single beds.”

“Then he can sleep on the floor.”

“Oh stop it. We’ll figure it out. So, Y/N,” Sahara exchanged a look with Kodi before looking at you. “Are you ever going to tell us what happened to you and Joe?”

You grabbed your swimsuit out of your suitcase. “Nothing, we just don’t click anymore. Now, can we go the beach and get drunk?”

The three men had already gone out and they were in the water when you and the other women came out with your beach towels and your tumblers full of drinks.

As you started laying your towel down, you noticed Joe was staring at you.

“Can I help you, Mazzello?” You called out to him.

The rest of the day was relaxing, but that night, you were all going to go out to dinner. You put on the dress that you had packed. It was tight and hugged your curves the way that you loved. You smiled to yourself as you finished your makeup in the mirror.

“Y/N,” there was a knock at the door and then it opened to reveal Joe, in a button down and khaki shorts. “Whoa.”

“What?” You looked down at yourself to make sure that your dress hadn’t bunched up or anything.

“Nothing, you just,” Joe cleared his throat. “You just look nice is all.”

You narrowed your eyes, thinking that maybe he was messing with you. “As opposed to how I normally look?”

Joe’s eyes widened comically before he back tracked. “No! No that’s not what I meant. You always…I…” Joe breathed deeply through his nose.

“Whatever, let’s just go, alright?” You pushed past him and into the living room where the rest of your friends were waiting.

Dinner was fine, nothing extreme happened, but you kept catching Joe’s eye. He would give you shy little smile and then you’d look away. But that damn little smile gave you little butterflies in your stomach. You were a little annoyed with yourself. Yes, your crush on him never actually went away. And sure he was cute. And when you forgot about him messing with you all of freshman year, you could admire how funny and nice and sweet he was. He…

“Y/N?” Kodi waved a hand in front of your face.

“Hm?” You blinked at her.

“I asked if you were ready to go.”

“Oh! Yeah, sure.”

The six of you walked back to house.

“So, where is Joe going to sleep?” Dylan asked after another hour or so of everybody drinking in the living room.

“I mean, Y/N is kinda the only one that has room,” Sahara said sheepishly.

You frowned. “I am?”

“Yeah, Marcus and Dylan only have 2 single beds, me and Sahara are sharing the other double.”

“It’s fine, you guys, I can sleep on the couch,” Joe offered.

Everybody looked at you, silently asking if you were actually going to make him sleep on the couch. You hated yourself for what you were about to offer.

“No, Joe, you…shouldn’t have to sleep on the couch,” you grumbled. “We can share the bed.”

“Y/N, you don’t have have to do that. Seriously, I’m fine with…”

“No, it’s fine just…give me a minute to get ready for bed,” you stood up and walked up the stairs to get ready to sleep. That’s all that was going to happen. Sleep.

You were in bed, scrolling through your phone fifteen minutes later when Joe walked in with his bag. He was wearing a plain blue t-shirt and a pair of boxers. You swallowed. It all seemed so…domestic. And you hated that you still wanted that with him.

“Hey, I uh…just wanted to thank you, again.”

“Not a big deal.”

Joe yawned. He then got into bed on the other side of the bed than you. “We can make a wall of pillows or something.”

“It’s fine, let’s just get some sleep,” you told him as you watched him plug his phone in. Then you turned the light off, ready to pretend that you weren’t (still) attracted to the guy you were in bed with.

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Night, Joe.”

You listened as Joe’s breathing evened out and it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep after that.

The next morning, your alarm went off. You turned it off and you woke up warm and happy. You hummed and moved closer to the source of warmth. You felt the arms around your waist tighten.

“Good morning to to you too, sweetheart,” you heard in you ear. His voice was husky with sleep.

You giggled. And then you realized who that was. You rolled over and looked at Joe. His eyes were still closed and the sun was peeking through a small gap in the window curtains, hitting his hair so it was a copper color. It was beautiful. God, why did have to sleep with Shari? You could’ve been waking up to this for years. Who knows if you’d still be together or not, but damn your time together probably would’ve been great.

“Are you staring at me?”

“I usually don’t wake up with movie stars in my bed, so I’m enjoying it while I can.”

Joe laughed and opened his eyes. You watched him blink a couple time before his eyes adjusted. Once they did, he lifted on corner of his mouth. “Morning.”

“Morning. Want to tell me why you’ve got your arms around me?”

“Want to tell me why you haven’t moved from out of my arms since you’ve been awake for like ten minutes?”

You tired to come up with a response, but nothing came. “Touche,” you said, but still made no effort to move.

“So, are you going to tell me why you stopped liking me the summer after freshman year or am I supposed to guess?”

“I didn’t stop liking you. You just…hurt me.” You decided to be honest since Joe was asking you point blank. You figured it was time for the two of you to talk about it since it was just the two of you.

“I did?” The look on Joe’s face was hurt, like he really didn’t know what you meant. “What did I do?”

“You slept with Shari.”

Joe’s brow furrowed. “Who?”

You rolled your eyes. He didn’t even remember sleeping with her? “Shari? My roommate freshman year?”

Joe frowned and shook his head, still not understanding what you were saying.

“Come on, Joe. Shari? She looked like she got choked out the morning after you slept with her.”

“Whoa! I never slept with your roommate.”

“Yes you did. We were all at Peter’s party and you left to get us refills and…”

“I came back and you were gone.”

“I went to the bathroom! I tried to find you for like twenty minutes. Then I saw Kodi, and she was drunk, so I took her back to her room.”

“I went back to my room after I couldn’t find you, I swear.”

You shook your head with a bitter chuckle. Why was he lying about it?

“Joe, it’s fine, I mean, I thought that we’d kinda had something over the semester but shit happens and…”

“Y/N,” Joe squeezed your hip. “I thought that we had something, too. And then, by the time I got the courage to ask you out, you…started acting weird. Like you didn’t want to be around me anymore. I thought that I had done something.”

“You did! You slept with Shari!”

“But I didn’t!”

“Yes you did! I spent the night with Kodi and when I went back to my room the next morning, Shari had hickies ALL over her neck and when I asked her she said it was ‘Joe from her film class’,” you used air quotes. “You guys had ‘American History in Film’ together.”

Joe stared at you for a long moment, his face screwed up in confusion. “I honestly don’t…” then you could see the realization hit Joe like a truck.

But it wasn’t the realization that you thought.

“There were two Joes in that film class.”

You blinked at him a couple times. “What?”

“There were two Joes! There was me and there was another guy named Joe that eyed Shari all the time!”

“I…you…what?” You repeated.

Joe watched you and then started laughing. Full on laughing. “So this whole time you’ve been mad at me because another guy got laid?”

Now you felt like an idiot. You’d been holding onto this stupid grudge for years and it was for nothing?!

“Well, I…I thought that…” you mumbled, trailing off because you couldn’t really think of what to say. You felt Joe was still laughing at you, but you rested your forehead on his chest so that you didn’t have to look at him.

“I’m so sorry,” you told him. “I can’t believe I was so bitter about something that didn’t even happen. And I didn’t even ask you! God, I’m sorry!”

Joe was still chuckling to himself and he slid one hand up and rubbed your back.

“So, if I’d asked you back then on a date, would you have said yes?”

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from beaming. Then you looked up at him.

“Yeah, I would have.”

Joe’s face lit up and you decided that you really like that look on him. “What if I asked you for a kiss?”

“Now or then?”

Joe glanced down to your lips and then back up to your eyes. “Now.”

“I’d say yes,” you breathed out. You responded without even thinking about it.

Joe put his hand on your cheek and rubbed under your eye for a moment before he leaned in and your lips met.

You closed your eyes as a heat spread through you that you hadn’t felt for a while. Joe’s lips slid against yours and you wrapped your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

Joe groaned and then licked his way into your mouth. The two of you moving against each other made the bed squeak a couple times.  

You pulled a way for a moment to catch your breath. You kept your eyes closed, but still smiled.

“We should’ve done that a long time ago.”

“I think we’ve got some lost time to make up for,” Joe lifted your chin and you opened your eyes to look at him. “But only if you’re up for it.”

“THESE WALLS ARE REALLY THIN YOU GUYS!” Sahara’s voice came through the wall.

You looked at each other with wide eyes before Joe snorted and the two of you started giggling to each other.

“Maybe once we get home, before Mr. Hollywood needs to get back to work.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Joe pecked your lips one more time. “But until then, can I see you that two piece again?” He waggled his eyes brows.

You scoffed and pushed his chest. “Don’t press your luck, Mazzello.”

Joe grabbed your hand and brought it up to his lips. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Now that I’ve got you, I won’t be letting go anytime soon.”

You liked the sound of that.

[sockablock]

• (start) (prev) (next) •

Chapter 9: Tinsel on the Awnings

“No, no,” said Caleb, reaching for his pencil. “You have to account for Reichden’s Law of Opposing Forces. Otherwise you will just make the lightning even worse. Here, the glyph should look like this.”

Fjord, on his stool across the library counter, sighed. “I knew there was something wrong. I guess I just couldn’t put my finger on it.”

Caleb hummed his agreement as he worked. “No offense meant, but I am surprised you would make this mistake. It is...Spellcasting 101, you might say. Did your teachers never show this to you before?”

“Er, no,” Fjord admitted. “But I’ve also never exactly taken a magic class before, so I guess it makes sense that I’d fuck up like this.”

“You’ve…” Caleb’s hand paused over the page. “You’ve never been taught this in a formal setting?”

Fjord shrugged. “Is that hard to believe? I mean, you know how shitty I am at this. You’ve watched me fuck up for two weeks, now.”

“Yes," Caleb blinked, "but…to be perfectly honest, I thought you would at least know the basics. After all, Fjord, I saw you do magic that night at the Moondrop. You have arcane capabilities, you cast spells that I could not even name.”

Something flickered behind Fjord's eyes, but he tamped it down quickly. “Well…yeah,” he said slowly. “But that’s, um…”

He sighed and leaned in, lowering his voice. “Caleb, I’ve never really talked about this before, not even with Jes. So, you’ve gotta promise me that you’ll be discrete, alright?”

Caleb raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “Ja, okay. Sure.”

Fjord took a deep breath. “I, um…I’ve never actually learned magic before. And those spells you saw…I don’t think they were the wizardly kind—”

“—they certainly did not appear to be—”

“—right. So, what I’m saying is, I think my powers are...I didn't get 'em out of books. I just sorta…wish really hard for something to happen, and then it does. Is that, is that weird? Is that normal?”

Caleb suddenly burst into laughter, catching Fjord completely by surprise. “I just spilled my guts out there a bit,” he said with mild reproach. “Was there something funny about it?”

Caleb wiped at the corner of his eyes and shook his head. “Nein, no, well…maybe a little bit funny. Oh, you should have told me that in the first place! Now I understand.”

He met Fjord’s bewildered gaze and smiled faintly. “You are just a sorcerer, Fjord. There is nothing wrong with that. Your abilities are inborn, and natural to you.” Then he waved his hand dismissively over their notes, and the rough sketches of arcane symbols and circles across the pages. “You do not need any of this, my friend. You just need to practice your own skills. Mein gott, I cannot believe I was trying to teach magic to a sorcerer.”

Fjord found himself grinning as well, despite his confusion. “Oh,” he said. “Oh, uh…I didn’t realize there was somethin’ different about…uh…wait, are you sayin’ that your magic isn’t coming from you?”

“Oh, of course not,” Caleb chuckled. “I channel the raw arcana that exists in this world around us, in every living thing, in every thought and idea and emotion and et cetera. That is what all this chicken-scratch is,” he added, pointing at the notes. “But you get your magic from yourself. Whether it be because your ancestors were cursed, or blessed, or maybe one of them was a dragon, I don’t know, were your parents dragons, by any chance?”

Fjord’s smile faded slightly. “Uh…probably not,” he said. “I never, uh, knew them.”

Caleb’s jovial air immediately vanished. “Scheiss,” he said, “I am sorry. That was tasteless—”

Fjord shook his head. “No, no, don’t worry about it. But, uh…just checking, are those the only kinds of people who do magic? There aren’t, I dunno, there aren’t any individuals who just kind of picked it up along the way, or maybe they found something that granted them powers, or anything? It’s, it’s great to know I’m a sorcerer, that’s so cool, but you know, since we’re on the subject, is there anything…else?”

“Oh, ja, there are all sorts out there in the world. Warlocks, most of them, who tie themselves to unspeakable evils in exchange for a bit of power, sure.”

“Oh,” Fjord squeaked. “Uh…unspeakable evils, huh?”

Caleb shrugged. “Well, not always evil. Sometimes they’re gods, or they’re wandering spirits with nothing better to do. But I was always taught that more often than not, otherworldly patrons have otherworldly agendas that usually spell disaster. Then again, I was taught many things that today, I do not necessarily agree with.”

Caleb picked up his pencil again, and nodded to Fjord. “Now that we have established my uselessness as a magical tutor, then, perhaps we should spend the next hour on something else.”

“What?” Fjord asked, jolting out of his daze.

“What else do you need assistance with?” Caleb repeated. “Jester stopped by a few days ago asking about the Ratio Test, and your study guide says it will be on the final exam soon. Would you like to go over that?”

Fjord blinked, and then nodded quickly and reached for his math binder. “Yeah, yeah, sure,” he said. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

"How do you feel, so far? Do you understand it?"

Fjord rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Uh...actually, I kind of don't. Sorry, I really haven't had time to study lately, what with all the craziness at work, and everythin' that goes into moving apartments."

“No worries, I am here to help. That is what you are, under my protest, paying me for, yes?”

“Gods, Caleb, I’m not gonna extort free labor from you. Not even if you insist.”

“I told you, it was more than enough for you advertise my services to your classmates. I am fully booked for this week, Fjord! That is…truly, that is an incredible gift you have given me.”

Fjord grinned. “Don't thank me, thank reading week," he said. "But, I mean...yeah. Of course. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Caleb chuckled softly. “You know, Jester has been sneaking envelopes of cash into my bags before she leaves from her lessons as well, now. Do you…do you have anything to do with that?”

“I dunno,” Fjord said, though it sounded like he did. “It doesn’t ring a bell.”

Caleb snorted. “I still haven’t figured out what rate she is paying me,” he said. “Sometimes it looks like ten cents an hour, sometimes thirty dollars. Does she understand how much money is worth?”

Fjord sighed, and flipped open to his notes. “I’ve seen the size of her trust fund,” he said. “She hasn’t got a clue.”

“Well,” Caleb said, reaching for his own papers, “let us hope she never has to learn.”

•

At this time of year, the Pentamarket Square was in full holiday swing. Storefronts burst with gold and silver lights, tinsel glittered along the awnings, and colorful wreaths adorned their doors. The usual wide tents of the street vendors had been replaced with wooden booths, their four walls covered in more sparkling lights, and their space heaters spilling warmth over the open counters and into the brisk winter air. Children wrapped in parkas and woolen hats ran through the cobbled plaza, and young couples window-shopped hand-in-hand. Cheery music played from a number of outdoor speakers, and the smell of hot baked goods, wisps of cinnamon, sugar, and chocolate syrup, drifted up and over the crowd.

This was the Winter Market, and it would last up until the week after New Dawn.

Nott the Brave, skipping cheerfully through the crowd at knee-height, was here to take advantage of that. Her pockets were already rather heavier than they had been this morning.

But just as she spotted a particularly promising-looking old woman with a shiny polished cane, she heard something that made her stop dead in her tracks and look around wildly.

“—ah, you look like someone who’d like to know their future, how about it? No? Well then, how about you, miss? Yes, I can see you’ve got something very important happening soon! What’s that? Well, you’d have to sit down for a reading to find out, eh?”

Nott immediately abandoned her search for loose wallets and jewelry and began shoving her way through, weaving around legs and ducking under shopping bags, until she arrived at a tented stall selling warm apple cider.

Next to it, sitting cross-legged on a thick, navy-blue carpet, was none other than Mollymauk Tealeaf himself. He was wearing his full makeup, glittering eyeshadow and all, and had his crimson performer’s coat on. A white cardboard sign by his knee read, FORTUNES TOLD FOR GENEROUS TIPPERS, and he was shuffling a thick stack of blue-and-gold cards between his fingers as he beamed widely at passing shoppers, winked to small children, even tipped an imaginary hat to an old woman walking by.

And then he caught sight of Nott, her face poking out from behind a young couple’s shins. His eyebrows shot up, and he smirked all the way until she had finally managed to throw herself onto his carpet, the small rectangular island of peace in this sea of people.

“Well, well, well,” Molly grinned, setting his cards aside and gesturing for her to sit. “Look at what the cat dragged in! Nott the Brave, how are you, dear?”

Nott took the seat opposite him. “I’m fine, I guess, but what’s up with you? Why are you here?”

Molly shrugged. “It’s the holiday season, dear. No better time for attracting customers! Well, it’s not quite as good as Midsummer or Merryfrond’s Day, or Harvest’s Close, but it’s best you can do in the winter, eh?”

“Winter sucks,” Nott grumbled. “Aren’t you freezing, out here? Most people bundle up so much there’s nothing I can pickpocket.”

Molly snorted. “Is that why you’re here?” he asked.

Nott crossed her arms. “You can’t prove anything,” she said. “But seriously, isn’t it cold? You’re going to get sick.”

“I won’t,” he reassured her, “tieflings run hot.”

“You’re not running now. How is that supposed to help?”

Molly opened his mouth as if to respond, then paused, and sighed. “Nevermind, dear. But hey, since you’re already here, how about a reading? I’d be willing to do it free of charge, for a friend as delightful as you.”

Nott rubbed her chin. “Are we even friends? I mean, I know we hang out with the same people, I think, but the two of us have never exactly…bonded.”

Molly waved a hand dismissively. “Let’s make this our bonding experience, then! Let me read your fortune.”

She responded with a suspicious glare. “This isn’t your way of buttering me up because you want to get to Caleb, is it?”

Molly lowered his hand. “Of course not!” he said. “But, er, he hasn’t mentioned me at all, has he? It’s been a couple weeks but, uh, I was just curious,” he added hastily.

“Ha! I knew it.”

“Come on, Nott, you can’t blame me for just asking. Besides, I am genuinely invested in getting to know you, now. Jester likes you plenty, and Yasha seems to have taken a shine to you, and you insult Beau just as much as I do, so really, we’re just best friends waiting to happen.”

She eyed him over carefully. Then she sighed and nodded. “Alright, alright, performer boy—”

“—mmm, not boy.”

“Performer person?”

“That’s sort of better—”

“Performer fey-being?”

“...sure, alright. Yeah, let's go with that.”

Nott nodded and leaned in. “Show me what you’ve got.”

Molly deftly scooped his cards back up and began to toss them from hand to hand, effortlessly forming a gleaming bridge between his fingers. He laughed cheekily as Nott rolled her eyes at the extravagance of it all. Then he made a few more passes, flicked his wrist elegantly, and let three cards fall onto the carpet between them. They landed face-down, lined up evenly next to one another, and Nott genuinely couldn’t tell if that was dumb luck, or pure skill.

“Would you like to flip them over yourself?” he asked generously.

“Why?” she asked. “Is that part of the trick?”

Molly scoffed. “It’s not a trick. It’s fortune-telling.”

Nott raised her eyebrow. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

•

“Hey, Beau?” Jester asked, lowering her magazine. “I know I don’t usually ask about this kind of stuff, but…shouldn’t you be looking for a job?”

Beau, who had been furiously doing chin-ups on a rod jammed into the doorway leading into the living room, paused. Arms raised, bare feet brushing the ground, she gave Jester a suspicious look.

“Why’re you so interested, all of a sudden?” she asked. “You’re not worried about money, are you?”

“No, no,” Jester said, and set aside her issue of Iva’s Secrets. “Well, okay, kind of a little bit. But I’m worried about your money. What are you going to do when I move out? Are, are you going to, to find a super-rich roommate, or something?”

Beau dropped off the bar and sighed. “It’s sort of a long story, but I don’t really…I’m actually good, financially speaking.”

Jester blinked. “Good? What do you mean by that?”

“I just mean…it’s not a concern. I found a way to get cash.” She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. “It’s not even illegal, so don’t worry about that either.”

“You just found some way to make money like that, not illegally, where you don’t have to work for it?”

“Yup.”

Jester considered this. Then she reached for her magazine and nodded. “You should write an article or something about that for Iva. That sounds just like the sort of thing that she likes to put on the cover.”

“I’m really concerned about what that rag is teaching you, Jes.”

“I’m not.”

Beau snorted. “Fair enough,” she said. Then she added, under her breath, “It wouldn’t really work for everyone, anyways.”

•

“—and then I told him that his fortunes aren’t right, because I’ve never even owned that many swords before.”

Caleb paused in his whiteboard calculations, bit the end of his dry-erase marker, and stared at Nott. She was sitting at the edge of the kitchen table, swinging her legs off the side and peacefully decimating family-sized pack of chips.

“Are you…aware of how tarot cards work?” he asked slowly.

She waved a hand dismissively, sending Xtreme BBQ flavoring scattering through the ar. “Not really. But I also wasn’t paying too much attention, because while he was talking, I saw a woman passing by with some really nice buttons, so I was busy trying to Mage Hand them off of her.”

“Ah,” Caleb said weakly. “I see. And did you get those buttons that you wanted?”

She beamed, wiped her hand off, and fished around in her hoodie. She produced three glittering, gold baubles the size of her fingernails.

“Got ‘em. Look, look, they’re in the shapes of flowers, I think.”

Caleb did not in fact look very closely, but his slightly-weary, mildly-amused smile was good enough for Nott.

“How’s the accountant stuff going?” she asked after the buttons had been safely stowed back into her pockets. “Are we looking good for the month?”

“More than good,” Caleb grinned, and swiveled the whiteboard around for her to see. “We are looking the best that we ever had, spatz, thanks to Fjord and Jester for getting their classmates to hire me. Movie night tomorrow will go off without a hitch, I am sure. We even have money for extra pizzas! We can even go to a bookstore, can you imagine?”

“I can,” Nott said happily. “I can imagine it real well. Thanks, Caleb.”

He scoffed. “Do not thank me, I am just riding on a wave of good luck and kind people.”

“No, no,” Nott shook her head. “I meant, thanks for keeping me around. And for, um, buying me stuff, and letting me live here. And for not kicking me out even though you’re rich now.”

“I am not rich, far from it,” he laughed. “But…” he added in a more somber tone, “well, of course. Of course. It is a pleasure and an honor that you are my friend, and I wouldn’t exchange that for anything else.”

Nott cracked a small smile. “Thanks, Caleb,” she said. “I wouldn’t, either. Here, have some chips.”

After that lull in the conversation, he went back to checking over his math, then set on memorizing the contents of their budget. But just as the thought crossed his mind that, actually, I could just buy paper now to do this on, there was a loud cough from across the table. He looked up, and saw and Nott eyeing him over nervously, the snacks discarded at her side.

“Er…yes?” He blinked a few times. “Is everything alright?”

Nott sighed, and pulled out her phone. “That depends,” she said, and handed it over to Caleb. “That depends on whether or not you’d be willing to ask a specific purple bastard out for some more coffee.”

Caleb lowered his marker and frowned. “Er…what?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes. “When was the last time you spoke to Molly?” she asked. “Alone I mean, not at movie night. I know you don’t use your phone, and I bet you haven’t gone out together since.”

“Well, no,” Caleb frowned, “I have not. But…do I need to?”

“Didn’t you have fun on your last coffee-not-a-date?”

“Yes? I did?”

“So don’t you want to do it again?”

Caleb hesitated. He fidgeted with his marker. “No? Er…yes. Wait, no, that’s…” He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I had fun,” he said. “But that does not mean…that does not mean I want to ask Molly to do it once more. I mean, what reason would we even have to meet up? He does not have any of my possessions, at the moment, and I do not have any of his.”

Nott stared at him incredulously. “Caleb…you don’t need an excuse to see him.”

He bit his lip. “Yes, I do.”

“What? Why’s that?”

Caleb sighed, and put his forehead against the kitchen table. “I…I can’t just ask him. He’s probably busy, and probably has much better things to do.”

“Now, that’s just a lie,” Nott countered. “Both of us know pretty well that he’s been bored out of his mind ever since the Moondrop shut down.”

“Ja, alright, but he would probably be offended if I asked him to coffee out of pity.”

“But it’s not out of pity, it’s because you’re friends and you want to hang out!”

“Are we…friends?”

Nott leaned over, and prodded Caleb between the eyes. “You won’t be for long, if you keep avoiding him! Come on, it’s easy! Just pick up the phone, ask him if he’s busy. I don’t know why you’re so freaked out.”

Caleb considered this. He thought about telling the truth, telling Nott that he couldn’t do it, that he was afraid to ask, that if he initiated things, then he would be acknowledging his own feelings, that he would be indulging in something he shouldn’t, that he would be making things real, that he didn’t deserve this happiness, and that worst of all, above everything else, he would be betraying her—

But then he thought about how much he didn’t want to say any of that. He thought about how excited Nott was for him, how supportive she had become, and really, how nervous and excited and elated he felt at the prospect of seeing…

Caleb sighed, and reached for Nott’s cell phone.

“Fine, fine. But you’re going to help me compose the message, spatz. I…I really don’t remember how to do this sort of thing.”

Nott grinned. “Oh, I know exactly what to do! I’ve been reading that magazine Jester showed me, ever since you got back from the last date."

“You’ve-wait, what?”

“Shhh. Don’t worry about it. Okay now, type this out—”

•

Today 6:22PM

Nott TB: good evening Mister Mollymauk Nott TB: it has been some time since we last spoke Nott TB: how are you doing? Molly Tealeaf: … Molly Tealeaf: nott what the fuck Molly Tealeaf: I just saw you today Molly Tealeaf: why are you talking like that

Molly, sprawled across his bed and back in his silk pajamas—at six in the evening, no less—watched the tiny dots appear at the bottom of his phone. He had a glass of wine in one hand, and an appropriately bewildered expression across his face.

Nott TB: schmid Nott TB: *scheiss Nott TB: I am so sorry this is Caleb, actually Nott TB: sorry

Molly spat his wine out. He practically threw the glass onto the nightstand in an effort to free both his thumbs.

Molly Tealeaf: CALEB Molly Tealeaf: GODS I THOUGHT THIS WAS NOTT Molly Tealeaf: CALEB???

There was a brief pause. And then the words:

Nott TB: yes, caleb Nott TB: Caleb Widogast? We went on that double date once Nott TB: and we fought a really big toad together a couple weeks ago Nott TB: I think you told nott a fortune this morning, I am her roommate

Molly snorted, and shook his head.

Molly Tealeaf: yes yes dear I know who you are! Molly Tealeaf: I was just surprised!! Molly Tealeaf: I didn’t think you knew how to text

Another pause.

Nott TB: nott says that youre joking and also that this is a common theme in our group chats Molly Tealeaf: shes absolutely correct Molly Tealeaf: now, how have YOU been? and how can I help you?’

Molly was not too proud to admit that he waited, with baited breath, for the answer.

Nott TB: oh Nott TB: actually I have been well Nott TB: and I was wondering Nott TB: if you were free any time this week? Nott TB: id like to get some coffee together, if you also would Nott TB: my treat this time

Molly felt his soul burst into song.

Molly Tealeaf: that sounds lovely!! Molly Tealeaf: and I would never say no to such a gentleman Molly Tealeaf: Wednesday or Thursday works for me! Nott TB: thursday it is

Then there was a long pause, and the “…” icon appeared on the screen for almost a minute, before one last text came through.

Nott TB: I have missed spending time with you Nott TB: see you then.

Then this was followed by another message.

Nott TB: im back Nott TB: I hope your happy Nott TB: im deleting this conversation off my phone

Molly rolled his eyes, and waited a few more beats, just in case there was more on the way. When nothing else happened, he sighed deeply, screenshotted the entire exchange—for posterity’s sake. Then got up and waltzed out into the kitchen for more wine.

As he closed the refrigerator door, his eye caught the calendar that Fjord had hung up ten months ago. They had used it for about a week, before promptly abandoning it in favor of never knowing what day it was.

He flipped all the way to the last page, and found at this coming Thursday.

Soon.

•

“Oh, but then he confesses his love for her!” Jester sighed, leaning flush against the brick wall behind their building and pressing a hand to her forehead. “He tells her that no matter what, he would stay true to her forever, and then she starts crying because no man has ever been that open and loving to her in her entire life!”

“Uh-huh,” Beau mumbled. She was only half-listening to Jester’s account of Guard of My Heart, instead directing most of her energy towards trying to open the lid of the dumpster—which had sealed itself shut with a thin layer of frozen trash slime—as fast as possible, so they could get back inside. The weather forecast had predicted heavy snowfall tonight.

“But then in the second act, her family finds out about it!” Jester continued. “And of course they don’t approve, she’s a high-ranking member of the Crownsguard! And he’s only a lowly butler, but they’re so in love, and—”

“Uh-huh,” Beau muttered. She had almost lost her thumb to jagged ice, and was now trying to figure out a different angle of attack.

“Beau, are you even listening?” Jester asked, crossing her arms. “You just cut me off.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Maybe if she wedged a stick under the hinges, yes, that could work—

“Beau! Beauuuuuu, are you sure you’re listening?”

“Yeah, yeah, Jester, their…families suck?”

“Oh. Oh, you were paying attention! Right, okay, so, basically what happens next is that her dad forces him to a duel for her favor, and the conditions are that he has to duel a member of their family. And that sucks, because all of them are such badasses, you know? But then, oh my gosh, I didn’t even see this coming, she’s also in the family! And so now it’s two lovers forced to fight, one to prove his love and one to defend hers, and…”

Beau finally gave up, and took a deep breath, and slammed her shoulder as hard as she could into the tiny gap between the top of the lid and the dumpster itself. It flew open, leaving a rank trail of festering garbage-stink through the air as it went, and Beau was so relieved that she almost immediately threw the trash bag over the edge to call it a day.

But she didn’t.

Which was fortunate, because if not for that split second of hesitation, if not for the quick pause she had afforded this errand, Beau would have completely missed the tiny black bundle huddled in the corner of the bin, draped in dirty, wet fabric, and shivering in the cold.

She dropped the garbage bag onto the pavement. She threw her face closer to take a better look, ignoring the smell.

“What’s wrong?” Jester asked, and joined her at the edge of the dumpster. “What is it?”

“Do you see that?” Beau asked. “I…I can’t really see in the dark, but…there’s something in here? I think it’s moving?”

Jester peered in. “Ugh, it's so gross, what are—”

Her eyes, glowing a faint purple and built for low light, immediately latched on to what Beau was talking about.

“Oh, shit,” Jester breathed. “Oh my gods, what should we do?”

•

TUSK LOVE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO Today 7:09PM

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: heyyyyyyyyyy guys? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: uh (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: I think maybe whoever is free right now might want to come over (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: beau and i sort of found something???? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: and we need a little help Lavender Thunder: of course, I’ll come now Lavender Thunder: what kind of help? NottSoBrave: and what kind of something??? Seaman: fuck, im at work Jes Seaman: is everything alright? Drunkmonk: we're fine but like Drunkmonk: just Dunkmonk: you have to come and see alright? we don’t know what the fuck to do NottSoBrave: caleb says “don’t worry” NottSoBrave: caleb says “we’re on the way”

Today 7:14PM

NottSoBrave: caleb says “help we don’t have a car” DrunkMonk: good gods Lavender Thunder: im stealing Fjord’s station wagon, i’ll get you two NottSoBrave: caleb says “tell Molly I said thanks” Lavender Thunder: (o^-')b Lavender Thunder: be there in a flash

• • •

💚 ☕ ☕ 💚

[jiminniethemarshmallow]

Mine (Drabble #6)

6. “We’re in public, you know.”

10. “I like it when you say my name like that.”

13. “You’re so much fun to touch”

34. “You’re mine and no one else can have you.”

37. “Always so fucking tight for me”

55. Library

76. Teasing

85. Sneaking out

101. Dirty talk

A/N: I did not proof read this I’m sorry.

Jimin hated getting jealous. He hated the feeling he got in the pit of his stomach and the tightness in his chest as his cheeks burned in rage. He hated how hard he had to clench his fists just to restrain himself, and most of all, he hated how pitiful he felt for getting jealous over someone who wasn’t even his. But this time he couldn’t let it slide. This time he had been pushed too far and he knew he had to take action.

On his way to one of his classes, he saw you in the quad. Your hair and makeup looked perfect as always and your features looked soft even as you focused on the text book sitting in your lap. There was a moment of hesitation on his end, part of him didn’t want to disturb you, but the bigger part of him wanted to talk to you, be close to you if even for a minute, but before he could even take another step in your direction a familiar face walked right up to you. It was his former best friend, the one who Jimin confided in once upon a time. The one who knew everything about him and used to be like a brother to him. The one who spread nasty rumors about him to the entire campus and got Jimin kicked off his sports team just so he could secure his spot on it: Chae Minjoon. Of course he knew that Jimin had a crush on you, he had told him about it many times, which is why it made Jimin so angry to see him smiling and flirting with you. The entire exchange probably only lasted for a minute or two, but it seemed like years as he looked on, frowning at how you allowed the other man to touch your shoulder, whisper into your ear. It took everything in him to turn around and walk away, but in his mind he was plotting on how to handle the situation.

The first person Jimin went to was his roommate, who tried to talk him out of doing anything rash. He was a laid back person, always wanting to take the passive way out of everything to avoid as much conflict as possible, which made sense, but Jimin didn’t feel like being passive today. The other male looked up from his seat on his bed, his side of the room looking like a cluttered mess compared to Jimin’s.

“They probably weren’t flirting. Your perception might be a little bit skewed by your emotions.”

“I don’t care if they were flirting or not, he shouldn’t be talking to her and he definitely shouldn’t touch her like that.” Jimin’s jaw clenched at the thought of his hand lingering on your skin just a little bit longer than necessary.

“Don’t take this the wrong way because this is coming from a place of love, but you aren’t her boyfriend. You don’t really have the right to get mad over this type of thing so you should let it go. If it’s really that important to you then talk to her about it later.” The calmer of the two shrugs. Everything seemed so simple to him, but Jimin’s mind was full of complex thoughts and the simplest solution to him was to confront you.

“Then I guess I’ll have to make her mine.” He says with a resolve that makes his roommate look up at him again.

“Don’t do anything stupid. Whatever plan you have in your head can wait until tomorrow, get some sleep.” But Jimin didn’t want sleep. He wanted you.

It was around 11:30pm when his roommate fell asleep, snoring softly as always, undisturbed by the light illuminating Jimin’s side of the room. He was sitting on the side of his bed, coming up with a plan of action. He knew where your dorm room was as it was just two floors below his and he had walked you back to it after late night parties numerous times. So far the extent of his plan was to go to your room and talk to you. Nothing more. Moving slowly so he didn’t wake up his companion, he exited his room and made his way down the hall, descending the stairs quickly to get to you faster, but when he knocked on your door he was met with the face of your roommate.

“Can I help you?” She asked as he looked over the short girl’s shoulder, searching the room for any sign of you, but all he could see was a male sitting on the bed adjacent to yours.

“Where’s (Y/n)?” He asks, trying to hide the impatience in his voice.

“She left a while ago. Think she said something about heading to the library.” She yawned and Jimin just nodded.

“Okay, thanks.” And with that he was pacing down the hall and out of the building, running on impulse and adrenaline. The walk to the library seemed shorter than usual, he was so caught up in his thoughts that he nearly passed it, but when he got inside he had the focus of an eagle.

It wasn’t hard to find you, you were sitting at one of the large tables in the middle of the study area, surrounded by three thick books and a notebook. The look on your face was one of complete focus, it was clear you were running on a deadline and you were probably incredibly stressed, although it didn’t show outwardly. Calming his heart, Jimin slowed his pace to stroll up to you, shoving his hands into his pockets so you wouldn’t notice how clammy they were. He stood next to you for a minute, waiting for you to notice him and when you didn’t, he cleared his throats and gently called your name.

After hurriedly scribbling more short handed notes on your paper, you finally looked up and met his eyes. A forced smile curled onto your lips at his presence, even though you were genuinely happy to see him. You just didn’t have enough emotional energy to have a natural reaction.

“Hey Jimin.” You mumble quietly, blinking a few times to focus your vision. Damn was he a sight for sore eyes. You felt some of your stress melt away as you looked up at him, but he could still see the bags drooping under your eyes.

“Can we talk? In private?” He asks, looking around at the other two people seated at the extended table. They didn’t seem to notice either of you, but he didn’t want them to hear your conversation.

“I’m kind of in the middle of studying…” You glance down at your books, but Jimin shakes his head.

“You can take a little break, come here.” Before you can even argue with him, he’s grabbing your wrist and pulling you out of your chair, making you drop your pencil on the table and stumble behind him as he leads you to a far corner of the room. It’s secluded and concealed by bookshelves and you’re pretty sure no one has ever been in this part of the library before, which is why Jimin thought it was the perfect place to confront you.

Pinning you against the wall in the corner, his body covers yours and blocks your escape. His face is a bit closer than necessary, but you don’t particularly mind that much.

“I’m just going to cut to the chase since you seem to be in the middle of something.” He starts quietly. “What’s going on between you and Minjoon?”

Taken aback, you furrow your eyebrows and your jaw drops at the accusation. “What? Nothing’s going on between us.”

“I saw you talking to him…” His voice lowers.

“Yeah, he just came up to me to say hi. He’s in my biology class and we worked on a group project together.” Jimin didn’t really care how you knew him, he just didn’t want you to talk to him.

“You know I don’t like him right?” You nod. “Do you know why?”

“Didn’t he like spread a rumor about you so he could take your place on the soccer team?” It was Jimin’s turn to nod.

“He’s an asshole– no he’s worse than that. Anyone who could backstab his best friend like that is an evil person. You should stop talking to him.”

“I mean, it’s not like we’re friends…”

“Stop talking to him. And don’t ever let him touch you again.” His face was serious and you could tell this was really bothering him. Did he really track you down to the library just to tell you this? You sigh and nod in resignation, but purse your lips at him.

“Why does it matter to you so much anyway?” You mumble, not particularly looking for a response, but curious to know what he would say. He leans in a little closer to you, to the point where your noses are almost touching, and you want to tilt your head away but the back of it is already resting on the wall behind you.

Jimin doesn’t answer your question directly, but instead replies: “We both like each other, right (Y/n)?” The question shocks you and you don’t say anything at first. “I like you a lot and I’m pretty sure you feel the same way about me, so isn’t it silly that we haven’t done anything about it yet?”

“Jimin,” You start, but he interrupts.

“I like when you say my name like that.” His tongue rolls over his lips and you blush just slightly.

“How do you know I like you back?” You fold your arms in the small space between your bodies.

“We’ve known each other for a while and I see the way you look at me. And I felt the way you kissed me at that party.” He smirks.

“I’ve kissed plenty of people at parties, what makes you think you’re so special?” Your quip causes his smile to grow and butterflies release into your stomach from how good it looks on him.

“I’ve never kissed anyone like that before. I’m sure you felt it too, the chemistry between us was undeniable– and it still is– considering you haven’t moved away from me yet.” His comment brings your attention to how close you were to him, his body practically smushed against yours in the intimate space, but his arms were no longer caging you in. You could easily push him away and leave if you wanted to. Go back to your table and continue to study peacefully. Yet still you stayed, even when he called you out.

“What’s your point Park?” Your eyes look up at him expectantly, hoping to finish this conversation so you could go back to your work.

“I want you to be mine, (Y/n).” He blurts out and your eyes widen. “I want you in more ways than one and I think we’d be really good together.” The look in his eyes tells you he’s serious and all you can do is blink. Sure, you did have feelings for him, but you never expected anything like this to happen. After a few long moments of silence, you swallow, finally coming up with an appropriate response.

“Okay then, make me yours.” Your words weren’t intended to be dirty, but apparently Jimin took them that way as he pressed his lips against yours, his hands coming up to grasp your sides. You sigh into his mouth and let him lead, allowing his tongue to slip against yours and he brings you closer, pressing your front into his.

“We’re in public, you know.” You warn, breaking the kiss when his fingers start to fiddle with the hem of your shirt.

“No one’s here.” He reasons, kissing along your jaw as you pant.

“But what about the librarian? And the cameras?” All you could think about was how mortifying it would be if the librarian caught you while she was doing her rounds around the building. She always walked around every few minutes to put away any misplaced books or to see if students needed help finding something and you knew it was likely that she would check back here too, considering she saw the both of you head off in that direction.

“We’ll just keep an eye out for her. And there are no cameras back here, I checked.” He whispers into your skin.

“H-How do you know that for sure?”

“Long story short, I stayed here all night as a dare freshman year and hid back here until the librarian left. No one caught me.” His reassurance does little to relax you as you think about all the worst case scenarios. Yes, you wanted to be risky with Jimin and the thrill of the possibility of getting caught was turning you on, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of your mind still. What if the librarian noticed you had left all of your stuff on the table and goes looking for you? Would she be suspicious of Jimin since he was the one who pulled you away? She was a pretty chill lady, but there would surely be consequences if she caught you doing anything in her precious library. “Hey, relax a little.”

Jimin cups your sex and you take in a sharp breath, spreading your legs to give him better access as he kneads you over your loose shorts. His fingers put pressure on your clit and you almost moan out loud, using his mouth to conceal your noises.

“You’re so much fun to touch.” He smiles down at you, licking a thin line up your neck before leaving a mark near the base of it. You gasp and pull away when you realize what he’s doing.

“Don’t leave marks!” You whisper shout, becoming self conscious about it immediately.

“You told me to make you mine so that’s what I’m doing. Now everyone can see who you belong to.” Jimin leans in close to your ear and whispers, voice deepening and sending vibrations straight to your core. “You’re mine and no one else can have you.”

Heat rushes through you at his words and you feel yourself becoming wet, grinding down into his palm as he pets you harder. When you moan he grabs your waist and turns you around, wrapping his arms around your middle and walking backwards to a desk nearby. He sits in the chair and pulls you onto his lap, his hands roaming all over your front, inching their way up your shirt.

“I wish I could fuck you here, but I’ll just settle for touching you.” He whispers and you groan quietly as his fingers reach your chest, pulling down your bra cups to play with your nipples. The buds are already erect when he touches them, your back arching into his palms as he massages you gently. He pinches the nubs between his thumb and pointer finger causing you to mewl softly and grind back into him. You can feel his erection pressing into your ass the longer he plays with your chest, fingers circling the sensitive skin to get you worked up. His lips are on your neck as soon as you tilt your head to the side, giving him access to your skin, and he takes full advantage of the angle, sucking darker marks that will turn all sorts of pretty colors in the morning.

“Jimin,” You whine, moving your hands over his. “Lower. I’m so wet for you.” You didn’t even care about getting caught anymore, you needed to feel him between your legs.

“Somebody’s needy.” He grins. “You want me to touch your pretty little pussy?”

“Yes Jimin, please.” You breathe, leading his hands to skim further down your body until he reaches the hem of your pants. Taking his time, he slips his hands under your shorts and panties, trailing both of them down the inside of your thighs. His fingers rubbed alone your outer lips, just a centimeter away from where you wanted him and you let out a frustrated moan.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He asks innocently, continuing to rub just outside of you core.

“Stop teasing me.” You sigh, grinding your bottom into him again and causing a strangled groan to fall from his lips.

“Tell me what I want to hear.” You furrow your eyebrows as you try to understand what he means, but you try to respond anyway.

“I’m yours Jimin, nobody else’s. I won’t talk to Minjoon anymore and I won’t let anyone else touch me, just please…”

“Please what?” His voice is sinful in your ear as he nibbles on the lobe and you swallow hard.

“Please finger me, touch my clit, just do something! I need you.” Your begging satisfies him and he obliges, running his fingers along your slit to collect your juices before moving them up to find your bundle of nerves. His other hand leaves your pants to grab ahold if your thighs, spreading them wide so he had more space to work.

You moan his name when his finger begins to slowly circle your clit, gently at first but increasing in pressure gradually.

“Such a soft little pussy, I wish I could see how pretty and wet it is for me.” Jimin ponders aloud, resting his chin on your shoulder. His motions pick up speed and he changes the pattern of his movements, rubbing you up and down as your legs began to quiver. Out of all the times you’ve masturbated, you’ve never been able to make yourself feel like Jimin is making you feel now. Your hips grind back against him and he hums in your ear, encouraging you to do it again as you move against his fingers.

Pulling your shorts down just slightly, he slips his other hand back down them and pushes one of his fingers into your dripping hole, curling it immediately and making your back curve.

“God, you’re so sexy.” He groans. “If only I could hear you moan for me at full volume. I know I’d make you scream.”

You whine in response and lean back into him, panting as quietly as you could to avoid being heard. Just the thought of him pounding into you and making you cry out for him was making you gush, his dirty talk awakening a hunger within you that you hadn’t realized was there. A second finger pushes into your entrance and you squeeze your eyes shut as his thick fingers stretch you out, but all too soon he’s pulling them out from you, retracting his hand from your panties and wiping his wet digits on the inside of your shorts.

Jimin opens the random book sitting on the desk in front of you and you open your eyes in curiosity, until you hear footsteps approaching and your blood runs cold. You attempt to get off of his lap but he holds you there with his firm hands, resting his chin on your shoulder again while staring at the book.

“What are you-”

“Shh, just stay still.” Jimin whispers. The grip on your hips loosens and one of his hands moves to flip the page of the book just as the librarian rounds the corner holding a handful of books. She looks at you briefly as you both turn your head toward her, her kind face greeting you but all it does is irritate you as you wish she would just walk away.

“You two finding everything okay?” She asks and you thank the gods that she doesn’t look too closely at you.

“Yeah we’re fine, we found what we needed.” Jimin replies for you, looking back down at the book and pretending to read it.

“What are you guys studying?” The woman asks, turning her back to you to place some books on the shelf. You can feel your wetness dripping on the inside of your thighs and you want nothing more than to shove Jimin’s hands back down your pants to finish what he started.

“Zoology.” His answer comes easily from his lips and the woman nods in belief, reaching up high to place back the last book on the top shelf of a book case. Jimin offers to help her much to your surprise, but she just shakes her head and successful racks the book, turning back to the both of you politely.

“Zoology? Interesting. Well if you need anything, I’ll be up at the front.” And with that she walks back down the aisles, disappearing among the rows of bookshelves. You both wait until you can’t hear her footsteps anymore before Jimin pushes his hands back into your panties, skimming his fingers along your wetness before resuming his work.

“That was close.” He sighs into your hair, picking up the pace of his fingers inside you, more determined to get you to your end.

“Zoology? Really?” You nag, closing your eyes when he curls his fingers up into a soft spot within you.

“I think that’s what this book is on?” It doesn’t really matter to you at this point. All that matters is that the librarian believed you and didn’t question your current position in his lap. 

“Jimin..” You throw your head back onto his shoulder and he lets out a hushed moan when he feels you beginning to constrict around his digits.

“Shit baby, you’re so tight for me. I wonder how you’d feel around my cock.” He whispers and your hips buck at the thought.

“Please, I want to feel it.” You whimper for him and and looks up at you.

“Yeah? Wanna sit on it?” You nod and begin pulling down your own shorts, feeling his finger exit you to undo his jeans. You stand up enough for him to yank down his sweats far enough for his dick to pop out and you turn to marvel at it, feeling the intense need to have it fill you.

His hands are in your hips immediately and he brings you down as you line him up with your entrance, slipping in easily. Strangled moans leave both of you as you try to contain yourselves, hoping that no one could hear you. Jimin pants in your ear and slides his hand back down to your core, rubbing against your clit again.

“I can’t fuck you here, baby girl, but I would love to feel you cum around me. Can you do that for me?” His voice drops an octave and you shudder at the sound, rocking your hips just barely enough to feel him rub your inner walls. He feels heavy and thick inside of you and a small part of you hates the fact that he can’t pound into right now, but the rest of you is content with him fingering your clit, edging you closer to your high.

“If I c-cum on your cock will you let me ride you later?” You ask, biting your lip seductively as Jimin attaches his lips to your shoulder.

“I’ll let you do whatever you want baby girl, I’m yours.” He breathes, sinking his teeth into your flesh and leaving a mark before rolling his tongue over it soothingly.

You can feel your legs start to shake against him, your hips raising into his touch as he flicks your nub at a fast pace, hitting it just right. Your breathing becomes ragged as you feel the coil in your stomach begin to tighten, reaching back to entangle your fingers in his soft hair, pulling on the strands gently.

"Oh fuck." You sigh, trying to keep your voice under control as you leak around his length, your juices dripping down his shaft as you get closer and closer to your peak. It's getting harder for Jimin to stay still inside you, the feeling of your core throbbing for release around him makes his cock twitch, but he holds himself back, settling for slowly grinding his hips into yours.

"Your pussy is perfect, (Y/n). It's all mine." He growls, noticing how your respiration picks up and your legs tremble harder. His fingers dig into the flesh of your thigh as he holds it open with his free hand, spreading your lower lips wider as he focuses on rubbing harsher circles into your pulsating clit. Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you try to contain your pleas, silently begging Jimin to grant you release and let you cum all over his cock just like he wants.

"Please." You gasp, tugging a little harder on his hair and making him groan into your skin, the beautiful sound throwing you over the edge completely. You cover your mouth and moan, the muffled noises filling the corner and Jimin turns your head to capture your lips, swallowing both of your noises as he feels your walls contract uncontrollably around his length.

"Fuck." He sighs, feeling himself twitch almost painfully inside you as is body yearns for release. "You're so fucking sexy, baby."

All you can do is hum in response as you come down from the heavens, Jimin removing his hand from you to avoid making you over sensitive. He helps you lift yourself off of his lap, pulling up your shorts and underwear in the process before tucking himself back into his jeans.

"What about you? Do you want me to help you cum?" You ask, looking down at the bulge he tucked into the waistband of his sweats.

"No, I'm fine, you can take care of that another time." You smile and nod. "Come on, lets head back to the dorms."

After checking each other to make sure you looked presentable, you walked back to the table where your stuff was, noticing that the other two people were gone. Jimin helped you pack up and put your books away, holding your hand as you exited the building. He held your hand all the way back to your dorms and all the way until you were at your room. Smiling down at you he kissed you sweetly, savoring the feeling of your soft lips on his.

"See you tomorrow, Jimin." You wave at him, entering your room and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. You were his.

[bitchinparty]

Panel Voting is open!

Since we only got 7 more panel submissions than there are slots for panels, we decided not to do two rounds of voting as planned. Instead, voting will be open from now until February 18th. The voting form contains all the panels and descriptions along with mod names--please let me know ASAP if I missed any of the co-mod arrangements flying around! Voting closes at 11:59pm on Sunday, February 18th. VOTE HERE! (Voting instructions are in the form. You must be registered for the con for your vote to count. Side effects may include increased heart rate, shortness of breath, uncontrollable gigglefits, and inability to can. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.) Panel Descriptions SINGLE FANDOM Women of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (mod: Minim Calibre) Natasha Romanoff, Peggy & Sharon Carter, Jessica Jones, Shuri, Gamora, Valkyrie, Maria Hill, and many, many more! Let's talk about the wonderful women of the MCU and why we love them. Avengers Reassemble (mods: Lucifuge5, mizface) MCU's been kicking it for 10 years and counting. Where is it going and where would we want it to go next? Captain America: The Star Spangled Man With a Plan* (*for certain values of plan) (mods: Minim Calibre, Gwyneth) From a kid from Brooklyn to a bearded outlaw, come talk about Captain America and Cap fandom as it stands on the eve of Infinity War. Pacific Rim: Uprising - Next Gen Heroes Yay? (mod: Raine Wynd) Pacific Rim Uprising gave us another apocalypse and a set of new heroes to like. Let's talk - and maybe discuss where Raleigh and Herc were doing while this was going on. :-) The Real Bad Place Is The Friends We Made All Along (mods: SDWolfpup, Brynn, Minim Calibre) The Good Place started with a straight-forward premise and became one of the most complicated, delightful, and philosophy-loving shows on TV. Let's talk about why we love it (so many reasons!), how it manages to keep turning its own premise with such skill, and what we hope for next season. The State of Bandom: 2018 (mods: aethel, Lucifuge5) Bandom in 2018 is a different beast from Bandom in 2007. We'll chat about how the fandom has changed (and how it hasn't) and what the musicians are up to now. Come reminisce about your time in Bandom! A short time ago, in a fandom not so far away... (mods: bessyboo, exmanhater) Let’s talk STAR WARS! Originals, Prequels, Sequels, Rogue One, Clone Wars, Rebels, EU—which parts are you really feeling, and why? Which parts that you’re not already into should you check out? What did you think of The Last Jedi? Everything from the galaxy far, far away is on the table! Miss Fisher's Intersectional Feminism (mod: krytella) The adaptation of MFMM from books to the screen aged Phryne up into a rare portrayal of a glamorous heroine over 40 surrounded by a broad range of supporting female characters. The show tackles social issues around gender and class and occasionally attempts to grapple with racism and Australia’s colonial history. What do we love about it, what do we wince at about it, what do we wish we had fanworks about for it? Visit Themyscira (mods: cyborganize, metatxt) Share your Wonder Woman story, whether you're a movie lover, a Lynda Carter devotée, or a long-suffering comics fan. A conversation about the conversation about Wonder Woman: why we feel how we feel about her, what she represents, how she has been represented. Explore Diana's origin in the early 1940s (see: Professor Marston and the Wonder Women) and her fictional origin in the Amazon culture of Paradise Island / Themyscira, and why the character and her worlds are still relevant. Will involve the F word – feminism! (And the other F word – femslash!) META AND MULTIFANDOM Sometimes we pay for it (mod: rivers_bend) come talk about queer romance novels, fannish tropes in pro fiction, and finding the perfect book for you. It's the End of the World As We Know It, And I Feel Fannish (mods: SDWolfpup, cyborganize) Post-apocalypse shows & fic are plentiful, and have plenty of fans, even though they're (usually!) very dark. What draws us to these worlds? What are your favorite post-apocalyptic media and why? What do we learn about ourselves from watching others struggle with the destruction of everything they knew? Where Do We Go From Here? (mods: Minim_Calibre, cyborganize) As the Internet changes and sites rise and fall, how do we stay connected as a community? Can we? Explore the state of fandom in 2018 and how has it changed since the first Bitchin' Party ten years ago! Fandoms That Won't Die (mods: aethel, Lucifuge5) Come talk about the fandoms you love that surprised you with their longevity! Why do some fandoms last and others don't? Fannish Osmosis Fic Exchange (mod: Scribe) Write a stranger the fic of their dreams...for a canon you only know about via hearsay! Other types of fanworks welcome, as long as they can be completed in about fifteen minutes; reading/sharing with the room is encouraged for maximum hilarity, but not mandatory. You Like My Thing Wrong (mod: bessyboo) You know that moment when you’re really into a popular thing, but you hate the popular pairing, or character, or fanon characterization? Or maybe you’ve been into something for a million years and suddenly everyone else is on board too, but everything they’re saying and creating is just…WRONG? Friends, let us get together and discuss strategies for taking a breath, chilling out, and avoiding feeling like horrible fandom hipsters or Bitter Old Fandom Queens when other people just Like Our Thing Wrong. Cest is Best (mods: bessyboo, metatxt) Incest and step/pseudocest have seen a rise in popularity recently in the mainstream, from Game of Throne to Billy & Billie to The Flash, but they've been popular in fandom for over a decade. What's the continued appeal of incest in fandom? And why do you think it's starting to hit more mainstream popularity now? Do you have limits on what you will or won't read--and has that changed? Are you here for the sitcom fluff, the dirtybadwrong angst, or something in between? Let's talk about fandom's fondness for keepin' it in the family! Feelings Are The Worst (mod: jedusaur) Emotions run high when you care a whole lot, and fandom is all about caring a whole lot. Let's talk about different types and contexts of fannish feelings, what sparks and alters our fannish interests, how and why conflicts arise in fandom, what feelings even are (your mod will make a sincere effort not to derail the conversation too far into the intricacies of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex), and what situations lead to fandom obsession, frustration, gradual indifference, and loving everyone in this whole damn bar. Alphas, Omegas, Doms, & Subs: Alternate Gender System Tropes (mods: krytella, keerawa) Why do A/B/O, BDSM AU, and other AUs that play with alternate gender designation have such strong appeal? Do they provide a safer space to eroticize gendered oppression, create a dystopian critique of gendered oppression, or both at once? Are slash gender system AUs an expression of internalized misogyny or badly written female characters or something else entirely? Do slash and femslash uses if this trope serve to straighten the queer relationships they depict? How about alpha/alpha and omega/omega stories, or D/s AUs centering switches? Wait, we only have 50 minutes? Documenting Fandom (mod: aethel) Fans have been writing down the history of fandom since fandom began. Let's discuss the various ways and reasons that fans document fandom! And also Fanlore. Speed Dating Small Fandoms (mods: metatxt, cyborganize) A semi-structured con-game where we share and explore why we love the small fandoms we love. By generating a creative categorization structure, together we will match-make fans with new small fandoms relevant to their interests. Our goal is for everyone to leave with a new fandom to date and a new fan joining one of their small fandom faves. TECH AND WORKSHOP A Song and a Dream: Now What? (mods: SDWolfpup, scribe) You've got the perfect song for your fandom - what's next? How do you get source? What do you do with mkv files? Square pixels? Frame rates?! To outline or not to outline? Do I really need a clip database? Let's talk about it all! Break on Through: Getting Beyond the Block (mods: Minim Calibre, thewightknight) Come share tips and tricks for defeating a creative block. Why We Write: Fandom Needs You! (mod: keerawa) This panel is aimed at aspiring writers, experienced writers dipping their toes into fanfiction, fanfic writers who've been going through a dry patch, or anyone looking to get the creative juices flowing. Topics will vary based on the participants, but might include how to start, where to find cheerleaders and betas, where to post, how to get over that hump and throw ourselves into writing something we and other fans will love. I'm sure the FBI has a file on me: research and fandom (mod: Minim Calibre) Ever find yourself needing to know the marriage requirements in places you'll never live? In-depth information on weaponry? Best ways to hide a body? And, of course, sex tips you may or may not ever need. Come share your tales of research gone wild and/or pick up research tips and tricks from your fellow fans. Oral Not!Fic (mod: bessyboo) In this workshop, we’ll define what oral not!fic is, talk a little about how to create it, and then finish up by creating an oral not!fic before the panel is over! Cosplay 101 (mod: bessyboo) Have you ever wanted to get into cosplay, but weren’t sure how or where to start? This panel is for you! We’ll discuss strategies for choosing/designing a character & outfit, and putting together a costume (for both DIY & “I am 0% crafty” options!) Makeup Fandom 101 (mods: bessyboo, visionshadows) Do you not wear makeup because you find it intimidating, but would like to start? Are you a total makeup pro who loves to talk brands and share your knowledge? Maybe you're somewhere in between, but want to know how that person on tumblr achieved that super sweet eye look or particular nail art you loved. This panel is for all of you, as well as anyone else who wants to come talk everything from skin care to shadow to nail polish. (There may be a makeup swap at the end of the panel!)

[tvmecaps]

1. who is this guy why is he in a fucking nascar 2. WHAT A WEIRD FADE TRANSITION 3. “my background is in racing.” “i love? racing??” 4. emily seems like a gem 5. emily: “where did you come from? 😊” arie: “haha!” 6. if someone said that to me i’d be like 7. idk the limo 8. i wish corinne came back

9. emily: *doesn’t say i love you back* arie: “i just felt, in that moment, that she loved me”

10. chris harrison: “you flew to charlotte” arie: “i flew to charlotte” me: “he flew to charlotte?!” 11. SHE DIDN’T READ THE JOURNAL 12. how embarrassing

13. “i was gone probably 200 days a year, avoiding the pain and heartbreak” imagine having that luxury 14. omg that baby is huge 15. omg I love when the couples are real 16. chris harrison saying arie is the best kisser they’ve had on the show is weird 17. wow a single mom that’s an original take 18. wow a weird amount of realtors 19. “gotta get a boyfriend first” WHA TA WIERD THING TO SAY 20. “i’m jealous one day i’ll find love!!” she says to the bride and groom 21. these girls are so WEIRD 22. SOMETIMES WE GET PEOPLE WITH BULLET WOUNDS 23. is this raven’s friend 24. from weiner 25. “we kind of have to make our own fun” *shoots a gun* 26. AT LEAST HE HAS A JOB 27. I LOVE RAVEN 28. they seem like they’d be sorority sisters 29. KENDALL 30. his tongue is like, so huge

31. WITH TAXIDERMY, I CAN KEEP IT FOREVER 32. if i ever met anyone with a stuffed polar bear I would immediately murder them and go to prison for life 33. I LOVE YOU SEAL 34. WHAT THE FUCK

35. omg another mom 36. oh she’s a nanny 37. “im a mix of gentle and nurturing” babe what’s the difference 38. i hope marikh beats the shit out of kendall

39. coach crystal 40. this is the worst thing i’ve ever seen 41. KRYSTAL WITH A K 42. IT GOT WORSE 43. SHE’S JUST RECORDING HERSELF JUMPING ON THE BEAHC 44. BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS HOMELESS 45. IM SCREAMING 46. aw this is kind of sweet tho 47. if i had to pretend to prance into the ocean while abc productions filmed me i would throw myself into the sand and let the water take me

48. this limo full of bachelor girls < a single cab full of jersey shore girls 49. i wish they had a jersey shore bachelor crossover 50. i wanna see sammi sweetheart on the bachelor 51. chris: “so you’ve tried to fall in love multiple times and haven’t 52. arie: thanks 53. maybe we’ll both be off the market I want to kill myself 54. chelsea’s entire face looks fake 55. but ok 56. sienne is not a name i’m sorry 57. aw the cufflinks 58. i hope she wins and he proposes wearing them 59. i already love tia she’s said 2 words

60. she 61. she got him a little wiener 62. “please tell me 63. you do not already 64. have 65. a little wiener” 66. arie: “I like her”

67. i want to punch chelsea in the face 68. who tf is bibiana 69. “then i think about like oh my god my babies would have blue eyes” 70. bib, do you… do you knwo punnett squares 71. he caught a softball “i’m so impressed with you!” 72. omg the nice butt bumper sticker 73. “i don’t have a very big butt” 74. wow they’re really giving krystal quite the entrance

75. “in this moment we’re ready for the adventure to begin” 76. she has a giant bowtie on her ass 77. ARIE GOES 78. “i needed that”

79. “there have been a lot of girls coming through,” one girl says suspiciously 80. as if she’s never seen the bachelor 81. “BEAUTIFUL. GIRLS.” chelsea says, murder in her eyes

82. LMAO I’M SCREAMING BEKAH PULLED FOF 83. AND ALL I SAW WAS HER HAIR IN THE CONVERTIBLE 84. AND I DEADASS THOUGHT 85. “who is this??? kris jenner??????”

86. i don’t know jenna but i love her 87. is she drunk 88. “and also maybe someone to take over the world with me” i love her

89. imagine someone brought you a rock 90. is she 91. is she gonna make him propose 92. why are they playing star wars music 93. WHO WAS THAT 94. why are there so many laurens 95. DID THEY SEND ALL THE LAURENS OUT IN A ROW 96. “any more and i’d be like, am i on the wrong show? *another lauren comes in 97. chelsea is a psycho 98. “nothing like a good icebreaker talking about all the dicks you’ve seen in your life” 99. ew 100. pit stop joke 101. HEY BABE, WANT TO SMELL MY PITS 102. I LOVE RIHANNA 103. this bitch in a mask 104. of course her name is annaliese

105. “i’m the only one in a costume so far” i miss alexis

106. THE GIRL WHO WAS SPECIFICALLY INTRODUCED TO ONE-UP BEKAH’S CAR ENTRANCE 107. I LOVE THIS BITCH 108. THE SHEER D R A M A

109. “sorry i’m late,” she laughs, CASUALLY STEPPING OUT OF THE RACE CAR

110. “she came in fast and furious, she came in last, maybe that’s how she wants to finish!” omg I HATE this bitch 111. he’s literally a generic handsome man 112. they cannot get over how generically handsome he is 113. she handed him a drink what a kissass 114. nysha i’ve never seen you in my life 115. CHELSEA STOLE HIM LITERALLY FROM THE TOAST 116. I HATE HER 117. i can’t stand this 118. what’s wrong with her face 119. why doesn’t it move

120. i’m the girl who said “where did you get your race car”

121. i’m sorry are they racing toy cars 122. HERS IS SO SLOW LMAOOOO 123. “brittany and him kissed. i don’t know why she’d do that.” i HATE chelsea

124. i’m the drunk girl talking about making people look cool with spas

125. aw i like annaliese 126. “how is the first night going? i would say great” “good so far,” arie corrects 127. chelsea’s gonna fuckin get it isn’t she

128. “can i talk to arie for a second?” “i literally just sat down” “but can i have him?” “i just sat down” “just for a minute” “but i just sat down” THIS ENTIRE EXCHANGE WAS MADE BETWEEN SMILES

129. omg she’s gonna talk to him AGAIN i hate her 130. omg they’re like really kissing 131. i really can’t like arie for this 132. this is so boring i just want to punch chelsea 133. there are too many girls for me to care about anyone who goes home

134. three things that make me excited to be alive? easy, death, dying, and the inevitable murder of donald j trump

135. arie: “excitement” 136. bekah: “excitement makes you excited”

137. CHELSEA 138. FUCK CHELSEA 139. first rose ceremony and the only girls i know are bekah and lauren numbers one through four 140. imagine he calls your name but then another last initial

141. no one will ever top alexis’s “move bitches”

142. thank god bibiana got a rose, honestly 143. fuck chelsea for staying instead of all these bitches 144. i’m both the girls watching the jets makeup through a telescope and the bitch making out with him on a JETSKI 145. I HOPE SOMEONE PUNCHES CHELSEA 146. i can’t wait for beech’s inevitable nervous breakdown 147. SOMEONE’S GOTTA BOYF

[ryecolombia]

Prom 2017

December 1st

Day 101: In Colombia, prom is a graduation party for the eleventh grade. Friends, family, and teachers gather to celebrate the class’s accomplishment of completing their final year of secondary school. All come dressed in suits and long evening gowns. The women spend hours beforehand having their hair, makeup, and nails professionally done. Colombians sure do know how to show up to a party.

I was informed that San Juan’s prom was on December first one day earlier. So it was back from the Caribbean trip Thursday night and off to prom dress shopping immediately the next day. Luckily I was able to find a dress that fit me well enough.

With my outfit ready, all that was left was hair and makeup. Gloria was over the moon when I asked her if she would do my makeup. At 6:30, I settled into a dining room chair to my first professional makeup experience. Gloria spent two hours meticulously applying product until I had transformed into a new version of myself. I didn’t change into a different person, but all of my facial features were accentuated and more defined. Antonio told me that I looked like Barbie when Gloria finished. Surprisingly, that was not the only time someone made that comment tonight.

Around nine o’clock the father of one of my classmates picked me up and we drove to a finca in Nariño, a pueblito on the outskirts of Tuluá. I was so happy to see me class again after being away for over a week. They all looked elegant in their evening attire, as if dressed to display their new maturity as the graduating class of 2017.

I thought my Spanish would go out the window after nine days of speaking predominantly English but I actually felt more comfortable speaking in my nonnative tongue than I ever have before. Even though my voice was hoarse and raspy from the trip, I still managed to have some delightful conversations.

I had an aggressive stomach ache for the entire night but I managed to put that aside to dance a little and enjoy myself. I still can’t dance like a Colombian, but I’d like to say that I’m improving.

My night at the party ended after engaging in long conversation with Alvaro’s boyfriend, basically yelled over the blasting salsa music. I had never met him before but speaking with him was easy. There is always something to talk about as a foreign exchange student.

I had no idea how I was getting home so he generously offered to accompany me in a taxi. We left the party in the wee hours of the morning. Most of the families had already departed, but the dance floor was still full and the music still pulsing. I have yet to see the end of a Colombian party. In a sense, they never end. Because life in Colombia is a party.

[fae-fucker]

The One: Chapter 1-2

*to the tune of Barbie Girl* I’m a garbage man, in a garbage can.

LET’S FUCKING DO THIS

Chapter 1

The book opens up with another rebel attack. Oh, goodie. What are they throwing this time, wet tissue paper?

Within seconds, the guards had lined up at the windows and were firing, and the bursts of sound echoed in my ears as we fled. Whether they came with guns or stones, anyone showing the smallest level of aggression within sight of the palace would die. There was no more patience left for these attacks.

*cackles* 

This has been going on for years and you people only now have no patience left? Makes sense, your guards were all just standing around twiddling their thumbs before. Not that I blame them, with the rebels being as ineffective as they are. 

Two wrongs make a right?

“I hate running in these shoes,” Kriss muttered, a heap of dress draped over her arm, eyes focused on the end of the hall.

“One of us is going to have to get used to it,” Celeste said, her breath labored.

I rolled my eyes. “If it’s me, I’ll wear sneakers every day. I’m already over this.”

Yeah, this really makes it feel urgent and dangerous. Or has Cakeass finally realized that her rebels are garbage and now even the characters aren’t afraid of them?

We followed [Silvia] through a maze of hallways, looking for a path to the basement, watching as guard after guard ran in the opposite direction. I found myself admiring them, wondering at the courage it took to run toward danger for the sake of other people.

Honey, it’s their job. And they’re shit at it. Bye.

Anyway, all guards are literally the same to America aside from Aspen. She locks eyes with him and it’s all very deep. 

Maybe his patience with me was falling short, his ability to see only the best in me running dry. Somehow I would have to fix that. I couldn’t see a life for me that didn’t include Aspen. Even now, as I hoped Maxon would choose me, a world without Aspen felt unimaginable.

I know that polyamory is never an option in these types of books, so in that case: PICK ONE, YOU SELFISH BITCH.

“Damn it, Elise, pick up the pace!” Celeste yelled. I wanted to be irritated that she said it, but I knew we were all thinking the same thing.

Yeah Celeste! Just shut up and suffer like a proper woman! REAL WOMEN DON’T COMPLAIN. 

Hell, maybe Celeste is just angry and worried and wants Elise to be safe? No no, she’s just a bitch. Even though you’re all thinking it, Celeste is the bitch for saying it.

GOOD. THIS BOOK IS OFF TO A GREAT START.

Before they get to a saferoom, some guard catches up with them and says that the rebels have ran off. 

“Has the king deemed it safe? If not, you’re putting these girls in a very dangerous position.”

“The head of the guard cleared it. I’m sure His Majesty—”

“You don’t speak for the king. Come on, ladies, keep moving.”

B-but ... When you asked for what the king said ... how did you expect him to answer? And why are you asking for the king’s opinion when you accept secondhand information about the head of the guard?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS EXCHANGE. 

“Get an official order from the king, and we’ll return. Keep walking, ladies.”

Holy shit, Silvia, you fucking dumbass. What exactly do you expect to happen? If he was lying, he’d just wait a few minutes and return saying that the king totally cleared it. If he’s not lying, then you ... what? Do you want a written note with the royal seal on it? 

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. 

Anyway, another guard comes by and says that it’s safe. Did he get a slap on the ass for good luck from the king or something? What the fuck was the point of all this?

America goes to her room to find a letter from her little sister, May. Her other sister has given birth. America is angry that she wasn’t there and angsts about how Maxon still fucks around with Kriss and how evil the king is and how there are cameras everywhere and she has no privacy! 

Except that last part is a lie. Cameras oly appear when Cakeass remembers that she set this up as a reality show.

I choked back angry tears. I was so tired of crying.

Instead I went into planning mode. The only way to set things right was to end the Selection.

Though I still occasionally questioned my desire to be the princess, there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be Maxon’s.

THEN TELL HIM AND GET IT OVER WITH.

But we all know she won’t. There’s still a whole book left. She’ll just meander about, like she usually does.

According to the king, the other girls were making advances toward Maxon—physical advances—and he’d said I was far too plain to have a chance of matching them in that department.

Oh god. 

So she decides to seduce him, basically, and dons the skimpiest dress she can and waltzes into the dining room. 

I curtsied, swinging my leg around so the slit in the dress fell open, leading nearly all the way up my thigh. The dress was a deep red, strapless and practically backless, and I was almost positive my maids had used magic to make it stay up at all. I rose, locking eyes with Maxon, who I noticed had stopped chewing. Someone dropped a fork.

Ok uh. Seduction 101: Maybe don’t ... do it ... with other people around? You’re trying to seduce Maxon, yes? Why the fuck are you wearing that dress in public? I don’t ... Oh my god.

“Seriously, America?” she whispered.

I tilted my head in her direction. “I’m sorry?” I replied, feigning confusion.

She put her silverware down, and we stared at each other. “You look trashy.”

“Well, you look jealous.”

But remember, when Celeste does this, SHE’S BEING AN EVIL SLUTTLY SLUT SLUT. 

And I love Cakeass implying that trying to be seductive makes you gross and miserable and it’s not the “real you”. People shouldn’t feel forced to be sexual against their will, absolutely, but if this book wasn’t already filled with a bunch of anti-sex-before-marriage garbage and slutshaming, I might’ve interpreted this scene that way. 

Chapter 2

It’s later the same day and America is trying to make her room into a right sex-dungeon. 

I was trying to figure out how to move this forward without being pushy, but I wasn’t sure how to manufacture a romantic moment.

Yeah, see? She’s manufactuing it. It’s fake and bad. 

Anyway, they start kissing and America tries to steer his hands to unzip the dress.

Maxon laughs super hard.

He kissed me hard on my forehead. “I always wondered what it would be like to see you try.” He started laughing again. “I’m sorry; I have to go.” Even the way he stood held a sense of amusement. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

And then he left. He just left!

This is fucking hysterical.

I sat there, completely mortified. Why in the world did I think I could pull that off? Maxon may not know everything about me, but at the very least he knew my character—and this? It wasn’t me.

I looked down at the ridiculous dress. It was way too much. Even Celeste wouldn’t have gone this far. My hair was too perfect, my makeup too heavy. He knew what I was trying to do from the second he walked through the doorway. Sighing, I went around the room, blowing out candles and wondering how I was supposed to face him tomorrow.

SHE’S TOO FAKE FOR EVEN FAKE CELESTE OMG.

You know what’s missing here, though?

America’s thoughts on all this. She’s clearly not an overly sexual being, and she judges Celeste for being seductive. We don’t even get doubt or how she feels wearing that dress. Is she comfortable doing this? Is she uncomfortable? She just does this thing that apparently so wildly not her and it’s all just brushed under the rug. Where are her thoughts on sexuality? Particularly her own? What would she have done if she’d succeeded? Did she even want to sleep with Maxon, or did she just think it was necessary? I mean, Cakeass has made sure to establish America as being the purest virgin to ever virgin, would she have been willing to have her first time now, with Maxon, under these circumstances? Isn’t she like ... the tiniest bit nervous? What if she succeeds and gets pregnant and then he chooses someone else? ISN’T SHE THE TINIEST BIT WORRIED ABOUT ANY OF THESE THINGS?

Whatever. Who cares about character building when there are pretty boys around?

We’re off to a great garbage start!

[kellynkane]

The Story...from a Bride’s POV

So I created this blog because I wanted to share the WHOLE story from start to finish for whoever was interested. Our love story wasn’t all hearts and rainbows! There were A LOT of rain and stormclouds throughout our (almost) 8 years of being together. So please, continue on if you dare! 

***When I mention song titles during the wedding portion of this, please listen...to set the mood.

I’m going to keep the background pretty minimal, considering i’m sure a lot of you already know how we got to this point. This will be MAINLY the wedding day! (We didn’t have a videographer so I wanted to share from my point of view- THE DAY) feel free to scroll down to the wedding chapter if this begins to be drawn out. Look, i’ve never blogged before so cut me some slack!

So take it back about 7 years and 8 months ago...

(One of our first pics on those old flip phones that had to be turned around and taken in a mirror so you could see...)

We met through friends. I had gone to my neighbor’s house to hang and long story short Adam was there, we hung out, and the rest is history. When they say “head over heels for eachother”, that was what we were. I can’t even begin to explain the love I felt for this kid. (I say kid because that's exactly what we were...two young kids.) We were inseparable. I knew I loved him from the moment we introduced ourselves to each other. Crazy right? 

A short year later we had a baby. Mason Robert Kane. And this my friends is where things ‘got real’. You think you have your crap together? Add a baby to the mix and watch what happens...So basically the next 2 years or so were very rocky. Lots of ups and downs. This was what people would call the breaking point. But our point never ‘broke’. We certainly were pushed to our limits and maybe at times pushed OVER our limits but there was something that just never went away- our love for one another. It wasn’t having a baby guys, I know, I know...you would think this was a big part but it wasn’t JUST that. There was a much deeper connection that even to this day we question as to what exactly it is/was. It’s just something. Something that kept us hanging on, stringing us along all these years.  

Between year 2-5 I would say were the hardest part of our relationship. To our friends who were around, THEY KNOW. But hey, we’re humans. We were young kids when we met. Going through your early 20′s are the years where you actually grow up. They’re the years where you question who you are and who you will be as a human. You question your relationships with not just your significant other but friends and family as well. There are A LOT of ‘what ifs’ and ‘I don't knows’ during these growing up years. BUT these are the years that make EVERYTHING worth it in the end. 

So this puts us at about year 5 and a half. Just when we thought we were through the woods...After getting through some of the toughest years of my young 20 something life, we had ANOTHER baby. (Yes, we questioned our sanity as well.) He WAS an accident. Surprise, surprise. *insert crying laughing face. Or maybe just crying face* No, really Hunter Matthew Kane has added joy to our family we never thought was needed. Very difficult at times, but that’s for another blog post. Like I mentioned before: ADDING A BABY TO THE MIX DOES NOT MAKE ANYTHING EASIER. I REPEAT: “SHIT GETS TOUGHER!” but we made it work. You can’t run away from life. Choosing to have our children and continue on this journey of life together, was what we wanted to do. Did we fight? YES. Did we cry and question things? YES. But again, being able to persevere through all of that and come out on top...well, THAT’S what makes it worth it people! 

So (not-intended) long story short, fast forward to:

Sunday, June 18th 2017

The day we said “I Do.”

Those hard times we went through are what made our wedding day, the best day of my life. It sounds cliche but it truly was the best day of my life. I married my best friend, guys. The man I grew up (into an adult) with. The man I cried and fought for years with. The man I shared so many laughs and joyous memories with. The man who is the other half to my two beautiful boys. I married him. And he’s now mine, mine, mine. *Immature editing there.*

If you’re still reading this, this is where I want to lay out the day for you. Because in my eyes (and hopefully others as well) it was a freakin’ AMAZING day. 

Early Sunday morning I arrived at the venue with my girls. (Bless every single one of them because if it weren’t for them, we may not have actually made it to ‘I Do”.) We began setting up the venue and getting hair and makeup done. 

While I’m getting ready this is what was going on with my other half:

So now, it’s time...

It’s time to put on the dress and do the damn thang. 

The music begins:

***Jason Mraz- I Won’t Give Up

I’m watching from up in the bridal suite all the groomsmen take their places. Then Adam. My heart begins to pound. I watch my girls one by one begin to walk down to the pond. Then, my oldest Ring Bearer Mason and flower girl Gia begin to walk. Mason & Gia begin arguing (as usual) as SOON as it was time to walk. Mason is basically dragging Gia saying “COME ON, GIA!” while she is trying her hardest to throw petals saying “HOLD ON, MASON!” It was one of the funniest things to watch! 

Then, my Grandfather (who is so extremely important to me. He helped raise me from birth. I love that man with everything in me) pulls the wagon which has my littlest ring bearer- Hunter, and littlest flower girl- Renzi. Hunter holding a sign “Here comes the bride!” 

Now music changes:

***The Piano Guys- A Thousand Years

I look up at my Father- a man who I can honestly say, I have NEVER seen cry and I say “You ready?” and with that, he breaks. He begins to tear up and says “I’m sorry, i’m going to get emotional”. Well jeeze Dad, now i’m going to cry! We have to get it together! So after all the tears we begin to walk. 

At this point right here ^, this is what I see:

The man that I am 20 feet away from marrying, in tears. Full fledged ugly crying- tears. And that’s what makes me lose it...Hopefully he was crying tears of happiness and not “now I’m stuck with this crazy woman for the rest of my life” tears. I’m going to go with the first one just for my own sake! 

Here we stand hand in hand (which from the photo up top, I held his hands the wrong way (the manly way) and I’ve been obsessing on it since last week...but whatevs) Jason (who is actually the Godfather of our children and very close friend of the family which makes it even more sentimental to have him marry us...) begins his spiel and then it gets to the part where we exchange our vows. Let me break this down for you- I HATE BEING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. I literally contemplated dropping out of college when I heard I HAD to take speech 101...So you already know i’ve been freaking out about this part since I got engaged. BUT I can honestly say, (without being mushy gushy) as soon as I was up there with Adam, I felt like it was just him that I was speaking to. I felt SO at ease...So we said our vows and then we get to the exchanging of rings. Good Lord, I would be the one who messes that part up. It took me two tries AND reading off of Jason’s paper to get it right. 

After rings, Jason says the all too familiar saying: “You May Now Kiss The Bride!”

With that he announces us as the NEW Mr. & Mrs. Kane!

Music begins (Mind you EVERY song I mention has specific meaning to it. Our music playlist was IN DEPTH. Thanks, Scott Cash for doing a fantastic job!) 

***Eddie Vedder- Hard Sun

I take Adam’s arm and Mason’s hand. And Adam picks up Hunter and we walk down the aisle together. As a WHOLE family. Not just the Bride and Groom but as a whole family unit. Because that is what we are. We aren’t JUST a husband and a wife. We are parents. And more importantly we were parents BEFORE marriage. So it was important for us to include our babies when leaving the main stage. 

(Yes, Mase was crying. He’s an emotional little dude, just like his Dad. And I say little in regards to both Mase AND Adam.) 

Click, Click. 

Time to do what I know I do best- BE A MODEL! (I’m totally just kidding...I absolutely hate having my picture taken, I can selfie it up all day but when I have to pose without seeing myself, totally weird...)

NOW IT’S TIME TO PARTAAAY!

Music begins:

***Beyonce- Crazy In Love

Our bridal party including parents and grandparents get introduced! 

And because I love sidenotes: Adam and I LEGIT got in a HUUUUUGE argument during wedding planning because I wanted Nelly- Hot in Hurr for the entrance song and he was NOT ABOUT THAT life...so that didn’t happen (even though I think it would have been fantastic) but BEYONCE DID HAPPEN! I had to put my foot down for my guuurl.

THEN:

Music CHANGES:

***Rusko Remix- Jahova

I gave the DJ STRICT orders to wait until EXACTLY 30 seconds before he announces us in. THEN at 40 seconds (when the beat drops) we walk in!!!

I know, I know...we’re lame. But like I mentioned earlier, the playlist for the evening is based around songs that represent US! Back in the day 8 years ago when we thought we were so cool going to raves, that song was THE SONG that we loved. So THAT is why we chose it...just a little FYI.

(See that up there ^, that’s Adam doing his little rave dance signiture move. Me on the other hand, i’m just waving it left and right because I have no rhythm...)

Okay if you’ve made it this far God bless you  AWESOME THANK YOU! I’ve realized I have reeeeally strung this along so i’ll try and speed things up a bit! 

FIRST DANCE:

***Chris Stapleton- Tennessee Whiskey

FATHER/ DAUGHTER DANCE:

***Fleetwood Mac- Landslide

Quick sidenote: My Dad had probably a little more booze than he needed before this point so long story short...he was trying to dirty dance with me during our father/daughter dance. Oh well, it makes for a good story to tell!

I mentioned earlier about my Grandfather being a very important person in my life, so I knew it was only fitting to give him a little dancing action. He said “I don’t dance” When I leaned over to him mid-dance with my Dad. So I grabbed his hand and made him stand up with me. As we danced he tells me the story of when he first met my Grandmother (who passed away a few years ago) and how he asked her to dance and she told him he danced like a chicken so he never has danced since. After that, he begins to get emotional and tells me how he wishes she was here. Then we both begin to ugly cry together. It was beautiful. 

MOTHER/ SON DANCE:

***Van Morrison- Days Like This

FOOD:

Now it’s time to GRUB! Look they don’t call me Big Mama Kel for nothin’! I love me some food.To set this scene, we (as in MY DAD) had a whole roasted pig. Kind of gross...I was against it, BUT my Dad wanted it. He paid. End of story. It actually was pretty good!

Speeches:

Carley or should I say Carlaaay & Zack (Our best man and maid of honor) KILLED it on the speeches. Some of the most heartfelt words were said by both of them. They have seen Adam and I both at our best AND worst. So thank you guys. They honestly both wrote such amazing speeches, I was seriously impressed...BUT I have to say, the SURPRISE speech from MASON, was what took the show! He got up there with the mic and basically said how much he loved us and was so happy. Thanks for the added tears Mase! 

*Insert mic drop*

Lots of booze and lots of dancing AND lots of trips to the photobooth

Who in the world did I think I was?...

Beyonce...ALWAYS Beyonce.

Oh and lots of cooling off in the bathroom because it was so hot...hey, I’m really as modest as they come but a brides got to do what a brides got to do. That dress was freakin’ heavy and hot!

(No booze for the kids obv. Just added for cuteness factor! Well, and because they’re my kids duh!)

But can we just pause and take a second for this:

Oh and these too: 

(He spent probably the most time in that photo booth!)

Probably saying “YAAAAASSSS I’m married!” But then again, who knows. I had one too many at this point...

And last but surely not least- My Mermaid-of-honor. My best friend. Carley is the sister that I never had. So thank you for being my right hand lady through this entire wedding experience. I love you. 

CAKE CAKE CAKE

***Aerosmith- Sweet Emotion

This song had no meaning. They just say “sweeeeeeet emooooooootion” so figured it went with the whole cake cutting thing...

Thanks for smashing cake all over me...but hey, that’s what you’re suppose to do right? 

And a little bit of this:

Song Choice: ***Bad Company- Feel Like Making Love

Look at my Dad sitting back there...so proud to have been front row for such a wonderful experience...(This is high level sarcasm here) 

Garter toss & Bouquet toss-

Song choices were:

Garter Toss: ***Jay-Z- Big Pimpin’

Bouquet Toss: ***Beyonce- Single Ladies (of course)

And with that guys, that’s pretty much it. 

OH we played flip cup too, you know...keeping the wedding EXTRA classy! So with that... 

THE END!

For our Sparkler Send-Off song at the end of the night:

***Led Zeppelin- Over The Hills And Far. Of course we waited until 1:28 seconds (because i’m that type of bride, if you couldn’t already tell...) to run through, what should have been a tunnel but turned out to be a circle, of sparklers!

"Hey lady--you got the love I need. Maybe more than enough.

Oh Darling... walk a while with me. You've got so much... "

ADVICE: 

I know I have a TON of soon-to-be bride’s that I am friends with, so if I could give ANY advice at all through this whole process, it would be to JUST breathe! And don’t sweat the small stuff! Seriously…people aren’t going to notice how one flower arrangement isn’t set the way it should or that your ONE piece of hair isn’t laying right (and I can guarantee your significant other won’t notice either!)

Oh who am I kidding? I was sweating every small detail that was out of place and I probably would again if I had to do everything over. But if I could give ANY solid advice it would be to try and sneak away for a few minutes with the one you JUST married and look over your wedding and take EVERYTHING in. They aren't lying when they say your wedding day GOES BY FAST so try to enjoy it! Haha but other than that, just have fun and let loose with your Lovie. It’s YOUR time to shine lady! 

Hopefully you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Re-living this day is amazing.

Love you all!

I would like to thank ALL vendors who were involved in making this day as special as it was. Please feel free to check them out!

Lead Photographer: Summer Mae Photography  www.summermaephoto.com

Photographer: Charlie Peacher Photography

Venue & Catering: Pond View Farm   www.pondviewfarm.com

Props & Floral: Vintage Prop House   www.vintageprophouse.com  

DJ & Photobooth: Scott Cash  www.scottcashphotobooth.com

Makeup: K. Marie Styling Studio  www.kmariestylingstudio.com

Hair: Kimberly Guercio 

Baker: Hollie Watts

*AND* 

 A BIG thank you to my Dad for making my dream wedding a reality! I know we argued a lot the past year, but you did good champ Dad! I love you. Also, a BIG thank you to Adam’s parents- Suzi & Jeff for paying for flowers and the rehearsal din-din! AND I COULDN'T FORGET: a big thank you to my Mama Bear for running around entertaining the littlest of the Kane clan- Hunter during the wedding. He sure does love his Mom-Mom and Adam & I both love you too, Mom. 

Now we’re off to Cabo! 

Toodles,

[wineanddinosaur]

Wine 101: Phylloxera

This episode of Wine 101 is sponsored by E & J Gallo Winery. At Gallo, we exist to serve enjoyment in moments that matter. The hallmark of our company has always been an unwavering commitment to making quality wine and spirits. Whether it’s getting Barefoot and having a great time, making every day sparkle with La Marca Prosecco, or continuing our legacy with Louis Martini in Napa, we want to welcome new friends to wine and share in all of life’s moments.

Interested in trying some of the wine brands discussed on “Wine 101?” Follow the link in each episode description to purchase featured wines or browse our full portfolio at TheBarrelRoom.com. Cheers, and all the best.

Click the link below to discover and purchase wine brands discussed on the “Wine101” podcast series. Get 15% OFF your purchase of $75 or more when you use the coupon code ‘wine15’ at checkout. https://www.thebarrelroom.com/discover.html?src=vinepair

In this episode of “Wine 101,” VinePair tastings director Keith Beavers discusses the history of phylloxera, the vine- destroying bug mentioned in many previous “Wine 101” episodes. Beavers explains why phylloxera has been a headache for winemakers throughout history, how it plagued Europe, and why it has had a lasting impact globally.

However, there was a silver lining. Listeners will learn about the technique of grafting, which ultimately became the solution for combating phylloxera. Tune in to learn more about phylloxera.

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Or Check out the Conversation Here

Keith Beavers: My name is Keith Beavers, and cold soup? How do we feel about that?

What’s going on, wine lovers? Welcome to Episode 21 of VinePair’s “Wine 101” podcast, Season 2. My name is Keith Beavers, and I am the tastings director of VinePair. Hi!

This is it, people. Here we are. I’ve been mentioning it for a long time, literally since early in the first season. Phylloxera: We are here. It’s gross. Get ready.

We have been building and building to this episode, haven’t we, wine lovers? If you’ve been listening since Season 1, you know that as we talk about wine, no matter where in the world we’re talking about it, at some point in history, the word phylloxera comes into play. I keep saying I’m going to get to it, I’m going to get to it, and here we are. Now, I’m not really sure what your threshold is to grossness and to squeamishness. I don’t know how gross this is going to be, but for me, it’s gross. This phylloxera thing, this aphid, this louse, this bug, this destroyer of vines is crazy, and it’s a little bit gross. Like aliens, gross. Like any horror sci-fi movie with something like pus coming out, I don’t know. Just know that this is going to be a little bit nuts. Maybe it won’t gross you out. It grosses me out, though.

At the beginning of this podcast, Season 1, I tried to get across the challenges that winemakers and vine growers have in the vineyard because wine, more than any other alcoholic drink, is tied to nature. It’s at the mercy of nature, and those challenges are real. We talk about wind and rain. We talk about deer, birds, fungus, and bacteria. However, pests and insects are some of the most annoying and absolutely destructive things that can happen in a vineyard because they’re very small. There’s a lot of them, and it’s hard to get under control. There have been so many things attempted, developed, tried, and innovated to help combat the pest situation in vineyards, from chemical pesticides to something called biological pest control, which introduces a predator into a pest population to control it. Just a little side note: This method was developed by a guy named C.V. Riley from Missouri. He is a big deal in the phylloxera story. We’ll get to him.

Yet, no matter what we do, these pests will always have a presence in the vineyards around the world. No matter what, no matter where. It depends on the climate in the region that will give that vine grower or winemaker the challenge. What group of pests do they have to deal with? Beetles, moths, mites, leafhoppers, grasshoppers, cutworms, western grapeleaf skeletonizer. Yeah, that’s the name of an insect. It sounds pretty destructive. Then more innocuous, something called a ladybird bug. That could be destructive as well. And I don’t know about you, but when I first was learning about wine, I started learning about the pest thing. It was hard for me to wrap my head around because you don’t see it happening. It’s very hard to understand.

No matter if it’s a deer or fungus or a bug or a weather event, the thing to think about is it’s just not destroying the vine right away, but what these things do is they cut into a vines morphology — the makeup of the vine, whether it’s the roots of the stem, the trunk or the leaf or the grape or whatever. This inhibits the ability of the vine to grow at a regular pace, stopping it in its tracks in certain areas. That, in turn, creates a domino effect sometimes and that will just spiral this vine into basically a death spiral or a sickness spiral. What winemakers have to do is always make sure whatever is interfering or going into that vineyard is not destroying their crop, their money, their bottom line, their livelihood. Something as small as the delay of bud break due to an insect infection can ruin an entire vintage or some of a vintage.

These little delays in the way a vine grows, which we went over in the first couple of episodes in the first season, can mess the whole thing up. The thing is, sometimes it takes a while for our human eyes to notice what’s going on down deep. By the time we notice it, it might be too late. And no other pest, no other insect bug, no other aphid has been more destructive to wine than Phylloxera vastatrix, otherwise known as “Phylloxera the Destroyer”.

Phylloxera, unlike other pests out there, attacks only the grapevine. The fact that its entire life cycle revolves around one type of plant actually increases its destructiveness. It’s barely visible to the human eye, this little aphid or sap-sucking insect (that’s what aphid means). The female, even though she’s bright yellow, is about 0.039 inches long. Very small. They are mostly on the roots of vines. The female lumbers around the root system, carrying a sack of a mass of eggs that just cling to her as she wobbles around and eats the sap from vines, feeding her brood. She then injects saliva into a root or into a leaf. That saliva, in turn, forms something called a gull, which is a little pustule that shows up. In there, she puts her larvae. The larvae then feed off that injection, that cut in the leaf or in the root. This happens in the spring. Throughout the summer, phylloxera can produce four to seven generations, with each generation producing a significant amount of females that are capable of laying eggs. You see where this is going? It’s death by a thousand cuts, if you will.

All these little aphids are feeding off the root system of a vine — hundreds of them with all these little cuts, exposing the vine to bacteria and fungi. Each of these gulls, when they burst open, burst open with the larvae that are now called crawlers. And they crawl all over the root system, eating it, feeding off the sap. There are so many of them that they sometimes make their way up the trunk and into the actual vine itself onto the leaves. That’s when wind and humans distribute the phylloxera to other parts of the vineyard for new infections. They are just crawling, existing, surviving, doing their thing, and destroying a vine.

If they get up above the soil, the wind and humans spread it around. At least phylloxera doesn’t have wings. Oh, wait. In the more humid wine-growing regions of the world, a phylloxera hatchling can become a nymph and form wings. A female nymph will then lay what’s called a winter egg. I know, this is crazy. Now, that will develop into a stem-mother who will in turn lay eggs into a gull. It just keeps on going. The stem-mother is called a fundatrix. I know these words are a little bit weird. Fundatrix and vastatrix. Well, the “trix” is an old English, outdated, no-longer-used suffix for feminine adjectives. Back then, you would have an actor and an actrix. Now, it’s actor, actress, or just an actor.

Anyways, the fundatrix would be the founding mother, and then the vastatrix would be the female destroyer, I think. Of course, this fundatrix or stem-mother will start the lifecycle all over again, so you’re seeing how intense this is. What’s messed up is, as this is happening, we’re not seeing it. Sometimes, it takes a winemaker or a winegrower five vintages to see the destruction that this little aphid is doing to their crop. In the 19th century, in France specifically, winemakers and vine growers were just watching their vineyards die in front of them and had no idea what was wrong. You might remember from the Zinfandel episode and a lot of the episodes about the history of wine — especially the United States — you’ll notice that in the 19th century, there was a lot of exchange of agriculture between Europe and the new United States. A lot of that agriculture was vines.

Vines are very important to Europe. It was a big deal to have the vine thing happening here in the United States. We’ve talked a lot about that. Also, the Europeans were very curious about the vines that were growing in the United States. The United States, as we know, has their own native vines. Those vines were going mostly to southern France. In 1863, reports started coming out of southern France that a very odd, new, unknown disease was affecting the vines. A few years later, a committee was formed, and an investigation was done in the Rhône Valley area of France. Phylloxera was finally identified, and this is where it gets the name Phylloxera vastatrix.

A study was done, a report was put out for the findings to the public, and the public basically just ignored it. I don’t think they thought it was that bad. They’re watching some bad stuff happening in their vineyards and don’t even know what’s about to happen. They read the scientific findings, and they said, “You know what, it is probably just overproduction, or it is probably just cold weather, or it could be just weakening vines due to over-vegetative production. Or maybe it’s just soil exhaustion, or it could be God’s wrath at contemporary vices.” This is the list of stuff I found that was countering the science that was coming out of that report. I don’t know if it’s a result of the willful ignorance of that or what, but from 1875 to 1889, French wine production fell from a peak of a little under 85 million hectoliters, to a little under 24 million hectoliters.

As it got worse and all the alternate theories were debunked, desperation kicked in. The committee that was formed initially decided to offer 30,000 francs to the person that can remedy what was going on because it was starting to take over. Vine growers were literally watching their crops die in front of them and had no way of stopping it. Imagine what that must be like, it’s crazy. Over a thousand treatment ideas or potential remedies were sent in and evaluated. Every single one was individually evaluated, and they got really weird. Burying a live toad in the vineyard to draw out the poison, irrigating the vines with white wine. That’s just weird. There were entries coming from all over the world, like Singapore and Denmark, and nothing worked. Even commercial attempts of flooding the vineyards didn’t work. I mean, it would work for a little bit, but you had to constantly flood your vineyards. What if you weren’t near a water source? You couldn’t flood your vineyards, so something had to work.

A French scientist by the name of J.E. Planchon witnesses something called grafting, where you take a rootstock from one plant, and you graft it onto another plant. He sees this as an opportunity to maybe combat this phylloxera thing. He brought it up at the committee, and the committee said that is not it. I don’t know what is up with these guys. If you thought grafting was the solution for phylloxera at the time in France, you were called an Americanist, because the Americans were doing a lot of grafting. Well, Planchon decided to do this, and the first thing he had to do was identify the thing that’s doing the thing, right?

He ends up going to the United States. He collaborates with C.V Riley, who I mentioned at the beginning of this episode at the University of Missouri. He is a state entomologist, which means he studies insects. He confirms the bug that they’re calling phylloxera in Europe is identical to a bug that’s indigenous to the United States. With the knowledge of this particular bug, C.V. Riley actually suggests grafting to combat it. He comes back and reports that. Then, the head of the committee that was initially formed to get this thing nipped in the bud, if you will, goes to the United States, but he goes to Texas because now that they found out what it was, they needed to figure out how to graft.

Grafting was gaining in popularity as an idea of how to get rid of this thing. The head of this committee, who is the guy who actually debunked all the previous attempts to get this thing under control, goes to Texas and he collaborates with T.V. Munson. Munson was a Texan, ampelographer, nurseryman, and breeder. He researched plants, and he knew all of the vitis that were native to the United States. He guided this Frenchman through all of the vitis from the U.S., showing him the ones that were the most resistant to phylloxera.

Phylloxera is an American aphid, and the American grapevines, whatever species, evolved with phylloxera and created a resistance to phylloxera. There are some of these vines that, when the phylloxera cuts into them or injects the saliva, it has another layer of skin underneath it to protect from anything. What’s happening is all that fungus and bacteria are trying to get in, but they won’t allow it. If you take the rootstock of an American vine, and you graft it onto a European vine, you now have a phylloxera-resistant grapevine.

I know it sounds weird, but the vine is going to grow a Cabernet Sauvignon. It’s not going to grow some weird hybrid. Grafting does not affect the grape. It only affects the place where it’s being grafted. What happens is you take the two pieces of wood, knock them together, wrap them with tape, and they heal each other. They end up morphing into each other, and that becomes one big vine. Now, none of this happened overnight. The grafting situation started, but it was a delayed start because phylloxera’s damage doesn’t show up until things get really bad. By the time you see it, it’s really bad.

In 1873, it entered Cali. Portugal and Turkey in 1871. Switzerland in 1874. Italy in 1875. Greece, 1898. It took a while, but this thing almost destroyed the entire European wine-growing industry. 85 percent of European vines were destroyed while trying to figure out how to combat phylloxera. 6.2 million acres in France alone were destroyed because of phylloxera, but grafting is the norm now. In 1990, a study was done, and 85 percent of the world’s vines were grafted on American rootstock. We can only imagine where it’s at now.

There are places like Chile where phylloxera was never a problem because Chile received European vines well before phylloxera came from the United States and made its way into Europe. Also, phylloxera does not like sandy soil, so if you have a wine region in a sandy soil area or just a vineyard with sandy soil around a more fertile area, there’s a good chance you’re not going to get phylloxera because of that. However, that is not the norm.

If you hear somebody say, “Oh, this wine is pre-phylloxera vines,” that means somewhere, wherever that wine is from in the world, phylloxera never ravaged that area. There’s a whole debate over pre-phylloxera versus phylloxera vines. Are they different? Whatever. It doesn’t matter, guys. We’re here to enjoy wine. If you want to debate whether wine is different now or then, OK. But we’re drinking wine now in 2021, and we want to enjoy it. Am I right?

That’s the lowdown on Phylloxera, and just so you know, it’s not gone. Phylloxera is still around. This remedy is just to combat phylloxera, not to get rid of phylloxera. That’s also really intense. I just hope that this episode gives you an inkling into how much of a challenge it is for winemakers to do what they do. We talked a lot about that in the first couple of episodes of the first season, but phylloxera was a big one. There’s a lot of them out there, but this was the biggest international global effort to fix the wine industry that was so damaged.

I am going to say this right now, and not really sure how it’s going to land. But if you notice when we talk about the history of wine, especially in Europe, the 1980s is usually the decade where things start to turn around for wine-growing regions. They come out of the past and into the future, and phylloxera was a big part of that. Phylloxera devastated so many vineyards in Europe that it took years for these countries to get back on track. Even in the New World, in New Zealand, we talked about New Zealand where they just went ahead and planted hybrids. In the 1980s, everything started to change a little bit.

But that’s how much of an impact this bug had on the wine industry. OK, now you know about phylloxera. Hopefully, I didn’t gross you out too much. Let’s talk next week, what do you say?

@VinePairKeith is my Insta. Rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast from. It really helps get the word out there. And now for some totally awesome credits.

“Wine 101” was produced, recorded and edited by yours truly, Keith Beavers, at the VinePair headquarters in New York City. I want to give a big ol’ shout-out to co-founders Adam Teeter and Josh Malin for creating VinePair. And I mean, a big shout-out to Danielle Grinberg, the art director of VinePair, for creating the most awesome logo for this podcast. Also, Darbi Cicci for the theme song. Listen to this. And I want to thank the entire VinePair staff for helping me learn something new every day. See you next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article Wine 101: Phylloxera appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/wine-101-phylloxera/

[johnboothus]

Wine 101: Phylloxera

This episode of Wine 101 is sponsored by E & J Gallo Winery. At Gallo, we exist to serve enjoyment in moments that matter. The hallmark of our company has always been an unwavering commitment to making quality wine and spirits. Whether it’s getting Barefoot and having a great time, making every day sparkle with La Marca Prosecco, or continuing our legacy with Louis Martini in Napa, we want to welcome new friends to wine and share in all of life’s moments.

Interested in trying some of the wine brands discussed on “Wine 101?” Follow the link in each episode description to purchase featured wines or browse our full portfolio at TheBarrelRoom.com. Cheers, and all the best.

Click the link below to discover and purchase wine brands discussed on the “Wine101” podcast series. Get 15% OFF your purchase of $75 or more when you use the coupon code ‘wine15’ at checkout. https://www.thebarrelroom.com/discover.html?src=vinepair

In this episode of “Wine 101,” VinePair tastings director Keith Beavers discusses the history of phylloxera, the vine- destroying bug mentioned in many previous “Wine 101” episodes. Beavers explains why phylloxera has been a headache for winemakers throughout history, how it plagued Europe, and why it has had a lasting impact globally.

However, there was a silver lining. Listeners will learn about the technique of grafting, which ultimately became the solution for combating phylloxera. Tune in to learn more about phylloxera.

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Or Check out the Conversation Here

Keith Beavers: My name is Keith Beavers, and cold soup? How do we feel about that?

What’s going on, wine lovers? Welcome to Episode 21 of VinePair’s “Wine 101” podcast, Season 2. My name is Keith Beavers, and I am the tastings director of VinePair. Hi!

This is it, people. Here we are. I’ve been mentioning it for a long time, literally since early in the first season. Phylloxera: We are here. It’s gross. Get ready.

We have been building and building to this episode, haven’t we, wine lovers? If you’ve been listening since Season 1, you know that as we talk about wine, no matter where in the world we’re talking about it, at some point in history, the word phylloxera comes into play. I keep saying I’m going to get to it, I’m going to get to it, and here we are. Now, I’m not really sure what your threshold is to grossness and to squeamishness. I don’t know how gross this is going to be, but for me, it’s gross. This phylloxera thing, this aphid, this louse, this bug, this destroyer of vines is crazy, and it’s a little bit gross. Like aliens, gross. Like any horror sci-fi movie with something like pus coming out, I don’t know. Just know that this is going to be a little bit nuts. Maybe it won’t gross you out. It grosses me out, though.

At the beginning of this podcast, Season 1, I tried to get across the challenges that winemakers and vine growers have in the vineyard because wine, more than any other alcoholic drink, is tied to nature. It’s at the mercy of nature, and those challenges are real. We talk about wind and rain. We talk about deer, birds, fungus, and bacteria. However, pests and insects are some of the most annoying and absolutely destructive things that can happen in a vineyard because they’re very small. There’s a lot of them, and it’s hard to get under control. There have been so many things attempted, developed, tried, and innovated to help combat the pest situation in vineyards, from chemical pesticides to something called biological pest control, which introduces a predator into a pest population to control it. Just a little side note: This method was developed by a guy named C.V. Riley from Missouri. He is a big deal in the phylloxera story. We’ll get to him.

Yet, no matter what we do, these pests will always have a presence in the vineyards around the world. No matter what, no matter where. It depends on the climate in the region that will give that vine grower or winemaker the challenge. What group of pests do they have to deal with? Beetles, moths, mites, leafhoppers, grasshoppers, cutworms, western grapeleaf skeletonizer. Yeah, that’s the name of an insect. It sounds pretty destructive. Then more innocuous, something called a ladybird bug. That could be destructive as well. And I don’t know about you, but when I first was learning about wine, I started learning about the pest thing. It was hard for me to wrap my head around because you don’t see it happening. It’s very hard to understand.

No matter if it’s a deer or fungus or a bug or a weather event, the thing to think about is it’s just not destroying the vine right away, but what these things do is they cut into a vines morphology — the makeup of the vine, whether it’s the roots of the stem, the trunk or the leaf or the grape or whatever. This inhibits the ability of the vine to grow at a regular pace, stopping it in its tracks in certain areas. That, in turn, creates a domino effect sometimes and that will just spiral this vine into basically a death spiral or a sickness spiral. What winemakers have to do is always make sure whatever is interfering or going into that vineyard is not destroying their crop, their money, their bottom line, their livelihood. Something as small as the delay of bud break due to an insect infection can ruin an entire vintage or some of a vintage.

These little delays in the way a vine grows, which we went over in the first couple of episodes in the first season, can mess the whole thing up. The thing is, sometimes it takes a while for our human eyes to notice what’s going on down deep. By the time we notice it, it might be too late. And no other pest, no other insect bug, no other aphid has been more destructive to wine than Phylloxera vastatrix, otherwise known as “Phylloxera the Destroyer”.

Phylloxera, unlike other pests out there, attacks only the grapevine. The fact that its entire life cycle revolves around one type of plant actually increases its destructiveness. It’s barely visible to the human eye, this little aphid or sap-sucking insect (that’s what aphid means). The female, even though she’s bright yellow, is about 0.039 inches long. Very small. They are mostly on the roots of vines. The female lumbers around the root system, carrying a sack of a mass of eggs that just cling to her as she wobbles around and eats the sap from vines, feeding her brood. She then injects saliva into a root or into a leaf. That saliva, in turn, forms something called a gull, which is a little pustule that shows up. In there, she puts her larvae. The larvae then feed off that injection, that cut in the leaf or in the root. This happens in the spring. Throughout the summer, phylloxera can produce four to seven generations, with each generation producing a significant amount of females that are capable of laying eggs. You see where this is going? It’s death by a thousand cuts, if you will.

All these little aphids are feeding off the root system of a vine — hundreds of them with all these little cuts, exposing the vine to bacteria and fungi. Each of these gulls, when they burst open, burst open with the larvae that are now called crawlers. And they crawl all over the root system, eating it, feeding off the sap. There are so many of them that they sometimes make their way up the trunk and into the actual vine itself onto the leaves. That’s when wind and humans distribute the phylloxera to other parts of the vineyard for new infections. They are just crawling, existing, surviving, doing their thing, and destroying a vine.

If they get up above the soil, the wind and humans spread it around. At least phylloxera doesn’t have wings. Oh, wait. In the more humid wine-growing regions of the world, a phylloxera hatchling can become a nymph and form wings. A female nymph will then lay what’s called a winter egg. I know, this is crazy. Now, that will develop into a stem-mother who will in turn lay eggs into a gull. It just keeps on going. The stem-mother is called a fundatrix. I know these words are a little bit weird. Fundatrix and vastatrix. Well, the “trix” is an old English, outdated, no-longer-used suffix for feminine adjectives. Back then, you would have an actor and an actrix. Now, it’s actor, actress, or just an actor.

Anyways, the fundatrix would be the founding mother, and then the vastatrix would be the female destroyer, I think. Of course, this fundatrix or stem-mother will start the lifecycle all over again, so you’re seeing how intense this is. What’s messed up is, as this is happening, we’re not seeing it. Sometimes, it takes a winemaker or a winegrower five vintages to see the destruction that this little aphid is doing to their crop. In the 19th century, in France specifically, winemakers and vine growers were just watching their vineyards die in front of them and had no idea what was wrong. You might remember from the Zinfandel episode and a lot of the episodes about the history of wine — especially the United States — you’ll notice that in the 19th century, there was a lot of exchange of agriculture between Europe and the new United States. A lot of that agriculture was vines.

Vines are very important to Europe. It was a big deal to have the vine thing happening here in the United States. We’ve talked a lot about that. Also, the Europeans were very curious about the vines that were growing in the United States. The United States, as we know, has their own native vines. Those vines were going mostly to southern France. In 1863, reports started coming out of southern France that a very odd, new, unknown disease was affecting the vines. A few years later, a committee was formed, and an investigation was done in the Rhône Valley area of France. Phylloxera was finally identified, and this is where it gets the name Phylloxera vastatrix.

A study was done, a report was put out for the findings to the public, and the public basically just ignored it. I don’t think they thought it was that bad. They’re watching some bad stuff happening in their vineyards and don’t even know what’s about to happen. They read the scientific findings, and they said, “You know what, it is probably just overproduction, or it is probably just cold weather, or it could be just weakening vines due to over-vegetative production. Or maybe it’s just soil exhaustion, or it could be God’s wrath at contemporary vices.” This is the list of stuff I found that was countering the science that was coming out of that report. I don’t know if it’s a result of the willful ignorance of that or what, but from 1875 to 1889, French wine production fell from a peak of a little under 85 million hectoliters, to a little under 24 million hectoliters.

As it got worse and all the alternate theories were debunked, desperation kicked in. The committee that was formed initially decided to offer 30,000 francs to the person that can remedy what was going on because it was starting to take over. Vine growers were literally watching their crops die in front of them and had no way of stopping it. Imagine what that must be like, it’s crazy. Over a thousand treatment ideas or potential remedies were sent in and evaluated. Every single one was individually evaluated, and they got really weird. Burying a live toad in the vineyard to draw out the poison, irrigating the vines with white wine. That’s just weird. There were entries coming from all over the world, like Singapore and Denmark, and nothing worked. Even commercial attempts of flooding the vineyards didn’t work. I mean, it would work for a little bit, but you had to constantly flood your vineyards. What if you weren’t near a water source? You couldn’t flood your vineyards, so something had to work.

A French scientist by the name of J.E. Planchon witnesses something called grafting, where you take a rootstock from one plant, and you graft it onto another plant. He sees this as an opportunity to maybe combat this phylloxera thing. He brought it up at the committee, and the committee said that is not it. I don’t know what is up with these guys. If you thought grafting was the solution for phylloxera at the time in France, you were called an Americanist, because the Americans were doing a lot of grafting. Well, Planchon decided to do this, and the first thing he had to do was identify the thing that’s doing the thing, right?

He ends up going to the United States. He collaborates with C.V Riley, who I mentioned at the beginning of this episode at the University of Missouri. He is a state entomologist, which means he studies insects. He confirms the bug that they’re calling phylloxera in Europe is identical to a bug that’s indigenous to the United States. With the knowledge of this particular bug, C.V. Riley actually suggests grafting to combat it. He comes back and reports that. Then, the head of the committee that was initially formed to get this thing nipped in the bud, if you will, goes to the United States, but he goes to Texas because now that they found out what it was, they needed to figure out how to graft.

Grafting was gaining in popularity as an idea of how to get rid of this thing. The head of this committee, who is the guy who actually debunked all the previous attempts to get this thing under control, goes to Texas and he collaborates with T.V. Munson. Munson was a Texan, ampelographer, nurseryman, and breeder. He researched plants, and he knew all of the vitis that were native to the United States. He guided this Frenchman through all of the vitis from the U.S., showing him the ones that were the most resistant to phylloxera.

Phylloxera is an American aphid, and the American grapevines, whatever species, evolved with phylloxera and created a resistance to phylloxera. There are some of these vines that, when the phylloxera cuts into them or injects the saliva, it has another layer of skin underneath it to protect from anything. What’s happening is all that fungus and bacteria are trying to get in, but they won’t allow it. If you take the rootstock of an American vine, and you graft it onto a European vine, you now have a phylloxera-resistant grapevine.

I know it sounds weird, but the vine is going to grow a Cabernet Sauvignon. It’s not going to grow some weird hybrid. Grafting does not affect the grape. It only affects the place where it’s being grafted. What happens is you take the two pieces of wood, knock them together, wrap them with tape, and they heal each other. They end up morphing into each other, and that becomes one big vine. Now, none of this happened overnight. The grafting situation started, but it was a delayed start because phylloxera’s damage doesn’t show up until things get really bad. By the time you see it, it’s really bad.

In 1873, it entered Cali. Portugal and Turkey in 1871. Switzerland in 1874. Italy in 1875. Greece, 1898. It took a while, but this thing almost destroyed the entire European wine-growing industry. 85 percent of European vines were destroyed while trying to figure out how to combat phylloxera. 6.2 million acres in France alone were destroyed because of phylloxera, but grafting is the norm now. In 1990, a study was done, and 85 percent of the world’s vines were grafted on American rootstock. We can only imagine where it’s at now.

There are places like Chile where phylloxera was never a problem because Chile received European vines well before phylloxera came from the United States and made its way into Europe. Also, phylloxera does not like sandy soil, so if you have a wine region in a sandy soil area or just a vineyard with sandy soil around a more fertile area, there’s a good chance you’re not going to get phylloxera because of that. However, that is not the norm.

If you hear somebody say, “Oh, this wine is pre-phylloxera vines,” that means somewhere, wherever that wine is from in the world, phylloxera never ravaged that area. There’s a whole debate over pre-phylloxera versus phylloxera vines. Are they different? Whatever. It doesn’t matter, guys. We’re here to enjoy wine. If you want to debate whether wine is different now or then, OK. But we’re drinking wine now in 2021, and we want to enjoy it. Am I right?

That’s the lowdown on Phylloxera, and just so you know, it’s not gone. Phylloxera is still around. This remedy is just to combat phylloxera, not to get rid of phylloxera. That’s also really intense. I just hope that this episode gives you an inkling into how much of a challenge it is for winemakers to do what they do. We talked a lot about that in the first couple of episodes of the first season, but phylloxera was a big one. There’s a lot of them out there, but this was the biggest international global effort to fix the wine industry that was so damaged.

I am going to say this right now, and not really sure how it’s going to land. But if you notice when we talk about the history of wine, especially in Europe, the 1980s is usually the decade where things start to turn around for wine-growing regions. They come out of the past and into the future, and phylloxera was a big part of that. Phylloxera devastated so many vineyards in Europe that it took years for these countries to get back on track. Even in the New World, in New Zealand, we talked about New Zealand where they just went ahead and planted hybrids. In the 1980s, everything started to change a little bit.

But that’s how much of an impact this bug had on the wine industry. OK, now you know about phylloxera. Hopefully, I didn’t gross you out too much. Let’s talk next week, what do you say?

@VinePairKeith is my Insta. Rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast from. It really helps get the word out there. And now for some totally awesome credits.

“Wine 101” was produced, recorded and edited by yours truly, Keith Beavers, at the VinePair headquarters in New York City. I want to give a big ol’ shout-out to co-founders Adam Teeter and Josh Malin for creating VinePair. And I mean, a big shout-out to Danielle Grinberg, the art director of VinePair, for creating the most awesome logo for this podcast. Also, Darbi Cicci for the theme song. Listen to this. And I want to thank the entire VinePair staff for helping me learn something new every day. See you next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article Wine 101: Phylloxera appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/wine-101-phylloxera/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/wine-101-phylloxera

[coupleokits-blog]

Little Baby Freshman pt. 3

Trigger warning!!! Starting to get into hazing and baby play. If you don’t like this content or are uncomfortable with it, please stop reading. - Daisy

________________________________________________________________

Daisy shut her alarm clock off. She didn’t want to disturb Annabell and she was up before her alarm for her 9AM class anyway. She leapt out of bed and put on the outfit she chose for her first day of school, a pale yellow dress with little green and white faded flowers printed all over it. She slipped on sandals, pinned her signature daisy next to her ear, and twirled her hair curl into place. After double checking all of her books, notebooks, pens, and pencils were in her book bag, she tossed it over one shoulder and headed out the door.

Roaming toward class, Daisy took time to focus on her first day’s schedule. She had three classes scheduled for the day and would have time to eat lunch somewhere between her middle and last class. There was a rush event for KIT tonight as well that she was very excited for.

She stopped at a little cafe on campus to grab a blueberry muffin and a vanilla iced coffee to enjoy on her way to class. She made it to the lecture hall early and got a good seat in the third row, center. She thought it wasn’t too showy but it wasn’t obnoxiously good girl, either.

While noshing on her muffin, she was setting up her books and notebook so she was prepared when the professor came in. People were slowly filtering in. Some looked nervous, some looked excited, and some just looked downright tired already. Daisy saw her screen light up and turned her attention there.

*I c u d:*

It was a text from Mikey. Her heart skipped a beat and then she looked around confused but with a smile. When she looked back at the entryway at the top of the stairs, she saw Mikey smiling smugly back at her leaning in the doorframe. He was wearing a dark blue baseball jacket, dark jeans, and had his book bag slinked over one shoulder lazily, the leather strap visible in his hand and on his shoulder.

She waved shyly at him and he started down towards her. “This seat taken?” he asked. She motioned to the seat next to her and he sat down. He tossed his backpack on the ground and pulled out a notebook and a pencil.

“I didn’t know you were taking ANTH 101,” Daisy said. Mikey shrugged.

“It fulfills some social science credit or something,” Mikey replied.

“I never did ask you what your major is,” Daisy implied.

“I’m going for architecture right now,” Mikey said. “What about you, Ms. Honors?”

Daisy chuckled a little bit. “I’m going for international business with a minor in French.”

“Oh, so you start a crazy business in France and I’ll build you a crazy cool building,” Mikey joked.

Daisy giggled again, “Sure, sounds like a plan.” The professor came in, rushing because he was late. The two exchanged glances like “look at this guy” and then class began.

***

That night, Daisy and Annabell were getting ready in their dorm room to head to the KIT rush event. They were talking about their first day and trying to brainstorm what might go on at the event.

“I heard that they invite the guys from ΔΟΓ and they do a lot of stuff together,” Annabell gossiped.

“No way, how would they get to know the girls, then?” Daisy said, suddenly nervous.

“I don’t know, something about how they interact with the guys and stuff,” Annabell shrugged. “Some girl in my MATH 104 class said her friend rushed last year and that’s what happened to her.”

“Is that all she said?” Daisy asked.

“Yeah, she didn’t say much else. They’re super secretive,” Annabell replied as she finished curling her long brown hair. The bunny hopped over to the mirror to put on her makeup and jewelry. “I heard that they only accept like 10 girls a semester, though. They also rarely accept freshmen on their first try, so I wouldn’t get your hopes up too much.”

Daisy nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense.” In her head, she thought but I hope they like me enough. My mom would be so proud. “You almost ready?”

“Yeah, just putting the finishing touches on,” Annabel closed her pearl necklace around her neck and pulled up black lace gloves to her elbows. Daisy thought she looked stunning in her black cocktail dress, high strappy heels, gloves, and pearls. Daisy came and stood next to her, giving her outfit the once over in the mirror. She thought she and Annabell looked totally different. Annabell looked elegant in her all-black and pearls while Daisy was wearing mostly white and light blue with silver accents. She thought she looked good, though.

“Alright, I’m ready!” Daisy said. Annabell smoothed down her dress, grabbed her purse, and ushered Daisy out the door to the event.

***

Daisy and Annabell reached the KIT house, just a few blocks off campus. They could see the lights on inside and a bunch of people through the window. There was a banner that read “Welcome back, sisters!” draped under the large, light up KIT letters on the side of the top floor of the two story house. Daisy and Annabell exchanged a glance then walked up the steps to the front door. They were about to knock, but there was a handwritten sign on the door that instructed everyone to come in and make themselves at home. Annabell opened the door and the two nervously went in.

“Hi!!!” an eager deer wearing a navy blue shirt with sparkly light pink KIT letters on it came over almost immediately. “Welcome to the KIT house! My name is Elsie,” she introduced herself, pointing to a nametag on her shirt. “Are you two interested in rushing KIT?”

Daisy nodded and Annabell spoke up, “Yes, we’re interested. We’re freshmen and-”

“FRESHMEN! How exciting!” Elsie almost shrieked, clapping her hooves together. “Come in, come in! I’ll show you to the other girls. Oh! Don’t forget to fill out a nametag,” she held out two name tags and two permanent markers. The girls hastily filled them out and Elsie ushered them into a back room with some couches and other girls drinking from blue cups. A lot of the girls were wearing matching navy blue and pink letters like Elsie, the rest were dressed to the nines like Daisy and Annabell. Some looked nervous, some looked totally natural.

Elsie brought them over to a gorgeous red panda who was talking to some of the other KIT sisters by a beautiful stone fireplace. “Girls, this is Melanie, she’s the current president of Kappa Iota Tau here on campus. Melanie, I found two freshmen for you!” Elsie said motioning to the two girls.

Melanie held out her paw and looked at them from under her eyelashes, “nice to meet you-” she read their name tags, “Daisy Mae and Annabell. You’re just in time, we were just about to get started.” The girls shook her hand and then Melanie took a step up onto the fireplace mantel. “Quiet!!!” she commanded the room, “welcome to the first rush event for Kappa Iota Tau for the fall 2018 semester! Tonight we’re going to do a little getting to know you and play a few games. As some of you may know, our brother fraternity Delta Omega Gamma is also here on campus and they live right next door to us. We want to see how you’ll work with our brothers so they’ll be joining us for some of our rush activities. Oh boys!”

At her beckoning, frat boys wearing the ΔΟΓ letters came streaming in the back door. The brothers were wearing hunter green shirts with yellow letters and the pledge-hopefuls were all dressed nicely in various button ups and slacks. A husky wolf joined her on the mantle, clearly a little buzzed.

“My name is Blaine, and I’m the president of Delta Omega Gamma!” he yelled, which got a bunch of whoops from his brothers. “Tonight, we’re going to kick off the event with a game. Freshmen!!! Step forward!!!”

Upon his command, seven boys and nine girls stepped up to the mantle and lined up facing the two presidents. Daisy saw Mikey at the end of the line and smiled quickly before Blaine started yelling more instructions and she snapped her attention forward. “The name of the game is pin the binky on the freshmen!” There were snickers running through the lettered members of the crowd. All of the freshmen shifted nervously and looked around the room. The other people who were rushing looked relieved.

“Now now, don’t look so scawed!” Melanie said in a baby voice, “it’s nothing bad! We just want to know who our little babies are and who will have to take care of them.” She leaned forward and patted a shy looking black cat on the head. “Upper class pledges, step forward! Freshmen, turn around and face the back of the room, upperclassmen line up against the back wall facing them.”

A hole parted in the crowd that was against the back wall. Eight girls and seven boys lined up against the back wall. A bespeckled ram started handing binkies and blindfolds to the upperclassmen. Having an idea of where this was going, the black cat ran out of the room trying not to cry. The front door opened and closed quickly and everyone watched her go. A couple of boys in the corner began snickering again.

“Well, at least we have an even number now,” Melanie stated coyly.

“The rules of the game are simple!” Blaine roared. “Upperclassmen, you will put your blindfolds on and try to walk in a straight line to the freshman across from you. Your goal is to get the binky in their mouth. First pair to do this successfully wins!”

“Freshmen, no moving from your spots. You can open your mouth and try to catch the binky, but no stepping forward or anything to help,” Melanie added. “Any questions? No? Good! Upperclassmen, blindfold up! On the count of three, you can start making your way to your freshmen.”

Some lettered brothers and sisters made their way to help the pledges tie their blindfolds up. Melanie and Blaine started counting off slowly, swapping numbers. When they got to two, the brothers and sisters spun their pledge around to disorient them and when Blaine and Melanie shouted “3!” in unison, they pushed them in the direction of the freshmen. The crowd roared and cheered them on.

Daisy was a bit nervous and didn't really like this, but she was sure it was all in good fun. Probably to weed out the weak ones. She looked across the room at the skunk girl making her way towards her. She had her arms outstretched and a big, pink binky in her hand. Daisy thought she’d play along and cheer, trying to gain brownie points for the rush week. The other pledges noticed what she was doing and joined in. Melanie looked slightly impressed for a minute, but then went back to drinking her drink.

Just as her skunk girl was getting close, she heard a cheer come from somewhere to her right. A lion guy had just gotten his green binky into the mouth of his freshman, none other than her buddy Mikey. Some brothers were patting them on the shoulders and smiling. Mikey looked happy even with the binky hanging goofily out of his mouth. He saw Daisy notice him then seemed a to blush a little, spitting the binky into his hand.

“Looks like we have our first winners for rush week!” Blaine announced. “Who do we have here?” He leaned over to read their name tags. “Looks like our baby is Mikey and our caretaker is Alax.” He took their paws and raised them high, eliciting another cheer from the crowd.

“Alright, ya dogs, settle down,” Melanie said. “Everybody else, introduce yourself to the person across from you. You’ll become good friends. You won’t have to do everything with them, but they’re going to be your good pal. Well, hopefully for a little while.” She laughed. “Anyway, that’s all for tonight’s games! Now go meet people and have fun. Oh and freshmen, I wouldn’t lose those pacifiers if I were you.” She winked, stepped off the mantle, and went to pump up the music.

Daisy turned to the skunk girl in front of her and held out her hand. “Hi, I’m Daisy Mae. I just go by Daisy, though.”

The skunk girl dropped the binky in her hand. She seemed annoyed. “I’m Sam, I go by Sam. We were so close to winning.” She rolled her eyes and made her way into the crowd. Daisy was a little startled by this reaction but shook it off. She looked around and saw Annabell laughing with her girl and Mikey was still in the circle of dudes that surrounded him after they won. *Well, this is going to be interesting* - Daisy thought to herself. She put a smile on her face, went to get a drink, and decided to make the most of the night and mingle.