#and i literally cannot answer asks without art or ill die

[ressioo]

Once again i am in 'help cannot fuckin draw much of what i want to draw' mood so have these. Accumulated over quite a few days

Peepaw overseer beloved

Peepaw on fucking fire. Dont ask me why. I literally do not know. (Also lil pibpaw)

Sunny! Beloved idiot lizard

[cutesilyo]

Don’t know if you’re still full of energy to answer this ask but what do you think Nation-tans are or what they represent? i personally love how Hima made them so humane they’re able to entertain themselves with little pleasures like owning pets and— and the likes. And they work under their government but, oftentimes have opinions that aren’t politically driven, because propaganda can’t be the quintessence of being a nation-tan, their identity is also be with culture and ppl.

omg chiring-art i admire you so much and i admire every single piece of art you do so i am personally so EXCITED to answering this ask for you. ill try my best to answer this with care.

this ended up pretty long though, sorry! tl;dr: i think nations represent culture more than their government, and they take government jobs because its convenient. i also feel like nations are intrinsically connected to human perception of them and disconnected from linear time

my idea of the nations is an amalgamation of stuff other hetalia fans have said, the few interpretations we can get from canon, and things i’ve read concerning other mythologies and monsters. there is a stark political and legal delineation between the terms “nation” and “state”: a nation being the cultural identity shared by a group of people living in the same borders, while a state is literally just territory with a sovereign government. i certainly think the nations represent, well, their nation — the totality of it, the land and the culture and the history and the people — more than their governments, primarily because himaruya bases their personalities mainly on national stereotypes (which are derived from history and culture) and not on political, governmental action. it’s why hetalia, despite the subject matter, can be as light and comedic as it is: the focus isn’t on history enacted by a wacky cast of characters, but rather on a wacky cast of characters that just so happen to embody history.

on why the nations usually work under their governments, i always felt like it was out of convenience’s sake on the nation’s part. national governments will usually be involved in any major event that requires foreign relations, and national governments have the ability to reach out to every single little city, town, county, province in the nation. the breadth of government to, by necessity, be connected to every kind of sector — women, children, workers, media, education, business, transportation, military, healthcare, trade, law, the poor, science, environment and resources, oil, energy, and a PLETHORA of other things — means that, for a nation, it’s easy to use those connections to be placed in a job that they’re actually personally interested in. and for the government itself, it’s very convenient to a) have their nation in a workplace they have direct control over, and b) nations being fickle and developing different interests over time, and thus trying to go to different jobs or locations, means that the government has an “insider” that can informally, quickly, and honestly report on how this specific workforce or location is doing and if they have any concerns to forward without going through bureaucracy and red tape. so like, america will request to be placed as an engineer for NASA, and he has monthly calls with his assigned federal agent where he can say stuff like “oh yeah, we’re a little low on morale because the boss is going through a rough divorce, we need a referral for a nearby therapist stat. also johnson here wants to follow-up on the radiators he’s been requesting for three years now so a bump on that would be lit” it’s a win/win situation most of the time, but i do feel like there are some nations who don’t trust their governments enough for such an arrangement, or just want to live simple lives outside of their nation duties with no work or need for such connections.

but i digress. i guess the heart of the question is really: what even are nations?

i struggled a lot in how to word this, honestly. nations are, well, the physical representations of the culture, history, territory, and people of a nation — we all know that. but i feel the question needs to be taken to a deeper level so we can search for a more conclusive answer. history tells us that nations fall and unite and form and change and expand and crumble over time, so what determines what the nations in hetalia represent? when does a nation die and get replaced by a new nation-tan, and when does a nation just adapt and represent what they’ve developed into? in the meta-sense, we know its because hima is adapting the nations based on our current, modern understanding of history: we know which nations/kingdoms/empires stand the test of time and which don’t, so we have an idea on which ones are “relevant” enough to be their own separate character and which don’t. whatever force in hetalia that serves as the in-universe explanation for which nation-tans exist must have the same understanding. 

it’d be tempting to pin this force as fate or god or some other otherworldly being, but nations are fundamentally human constructs, and i’m a lot more interested in how that works. i read a short story before about a conversation between a human and a vampire, and the vampire says something like, “we used to be fine under the sun, but then humanity began believing that it was one of our weaknesses, and since then we've been crumbling under its light. whatever story you tell about us shapes us.” i think the same mechanism applies for which nation-tans exist and the personalities of the nation-tans themselves, and in a broader sense, it also explains why the nations are basically just normal people that don’t die. people write about nations as people all the time; not even just counting personifications like uncle sam and lady britannia, but also poetry and art of nations (represented by normal humans) doing normal people things like crying, working, dancing, etc.

but this mechanism would also have to be one that exists outside of time: 14th century england has to carry with him the conceptions and stereotypes that 21st century modern society associates with england, for example. the nature of being a nation demands that you cannot be governed by time in the same way that humans are, and it explains why nations are immortal, why they have their own rules for aging, why their sense of time is off, why humans go crazy when exposed to them over long periods of time, why animals develop longer lifespans when nations develop bonds with them, and why anachronistic one-off jokes like america trying to use google in the 40s can happen. 

im really not sure how to end this because i feel like i can ramble on forever. but to sum it all up, nations are basically a metaphysical nightmare!

[marvelatthehottotties]

Steven Grant Rogers - Prologue

A/N: These will be mini series for the avengers that has been co-written by a dear friend of mine @keliza

Masterpost Chapter 1

Warnings: Death of loved one, angst

Words: 2,346

“Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” - William Shakespear 

Love is a magical thing. Some explain it though religion, others use science. The truth is we don’t know why it happens. Nobody truly knows what brings two souls together in the universe. Perhaps the most magical thing is when those two souls finally meet and bring a new life to the world. This is a daily occurrence. Every single day about 385,000 babies are brought into this world. 

It was the fourth day of July in 1996 that one very special child was born. The 220th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence was the day Steven Grant Rogers was brought into the world. His mother, Sarah Rogers, often called him her little patriot. Steve’s upbringing was a loving one for many years. It was just Steve and his father and mother. 

On Father’s day in 2000, Steve’s father went to the hardware store, but he didn’t come back. This left Sarah in a tough position. She didn’t have a job, they were a single-income family. Her husband made enough money to support them so she never had to worry. Now she was on her own with a toddler. Luckily, their hometown of Avalon had a pretty good public school. She was able to get Steve enrolled in kindergarten so she could get a job. 

When Steve was 6, they discovered he had asthma. This wouldn’t be a huge deal for most families, but Sarah was just getting by with the bills on a hostess’ income. They made it though. Steve had gotten good grades and progressed well, all things considered. Avalon wasn’t an expensive place to live, and once Sarah had found a job that would support them, they lived happily. 

Steve was about 9 when he met James ‘Bucky’ Barnes in fourth grade. The two became best friends rather quickly. It was evident to everyone around them the two would be friends for a lifetime. The two did everything together. When Bucky needed him, Steve was there. When Steve needed him, Bucky was there. 

The boys had looked out  for one another, but nothing could prepare Steve for the year of 2008. Steve was 12 years old when Sarah fell ill. They were sitting in the hospital when Steve heard the news that his mother was terminal. Bucky was by his side the whole time. Steve wouldn’t forget the day the words, “She has two- maybe three years.” left the doctor’s moth. This brought a sound from Steve that he didn’t know possible. Anguish. Despair. His mother was his light. His Angel. The thing that kept his feet on the ground, and now she was dying. Words cannot explain the closeness that Steve and his mother shared. 

From that moment, Steve pledged his life to his mother. He came home from school every day and made sure she got her medication, did his homework, helped her with dinner, then watched a movie with her until she fell asleep. Sometimes they would play a game of Monopoly or Life. 

Soon,  Steve was old enough to get a job. Without his mother’s income and his father having abandoned them, they were left destitute. It was a fight to get her medication and put food on the table. Steve had to make sacrifices. His mother’s Diabetes had been progressing- they say she had it long before they knew. It didn’t take long for their funds had run dry, all their savings gone. Steve had a job as a grocery store clerk after school on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays but it wasn’t enough. 

Sarah’s insulin had been far more expensive than he had anticipated and they couldn’t afford it. It was that or food. It was a choice nobody should have to make. Steve would rather go hungry so his mother could get every second longer out of her life. That’s when Bucky stepped inside, a bag hidden behind his back. 

“I come bringing gifts.” he said firmly, plopping a paper sack on the wooden table. Steve looked up from his books. Papers were scattered along the oak on over half of the table. He wanted to go to college but it was a far off dream. “What’s this?” The blonde stood, peeking into the bag then snapped it closed, the paper crunching loudly in the kitchen. “What is this??” the blonde whispered at his dark-haired companion. “Food. It is what you put in your mouth hole that gives you energy.” Bucky said in an overly snaky tone. “I don’t- I can’t accept this,” Steve tried to deny the gift. 

“Too bad,”

“Bucky. I can’t,”

“You can. Dad paid for it anyways so it’s no money out of my pocket. Now you-” Bucky placed two firm hands on his pal’s shoulders, the slender boy shuddering at the sudden pressure, “sit.” Bucky plopped Steve down into his chair. “Ea,t” He pulled a pre-made sandwich out of the bag and placed it in front of his friend, “And do your homework so that you can play Uno with us.” Bucky said firmly then grabbed two more and crossed from the kitchen/dining room into a small bedroom. Steve sighed, hearing his mother’s voice and Bucky’s mingling in the distance. His friend was more charitable than he realized. 

He spent about 30 more minutes doing his homework. He had an hour to spend with them before he had to go to his second job at a nearby craft shop. His boss had allowed him to put some items in the shop, knowing that Steve was struggling, so that they may sell and he could get some extra money. Bucky seemed to come around less often recently. He thought it was because his father didn’t like Steve that well. He didn’t know why, but the last few years he got the vibe that he wasn’t liked by the owner of Avalon Insurance. 

He came into the room slowly, always hesitant to step into his mother’s room. It wasn’t because she was there- it was because he was scared she wouldn’t be. He knew she was already two  years passed when they said she would die. He knew she could go any day. It scared him more than anything in the world. Bullies he could deal with. Bucky’s asshole father, he could deal with. An asthma attack, he could deal with… but losing Sarah… it would change him and he was terrified of it. 

Push those thoughts aside, Soldier.  He reminded himself. He was his mom’s soldier and he needed to fight for their comfort while she fought for her life. He stepped into the small bedroom, a twin sized bed sitting in the middle of the room, the walls painted a light lilac color, a matching quilt over his mother. He walked across the stained carpeting and sat on his mother’s bedside. The woman had blonde hair that matched her son’s, but she was very thin and clearly not well. 

“Where did these come from?” the tall dark haired man asked, his eyes bright. Steve cocked his head to the side then nodded, “I drew those for mom” he said. In his hand, Bucky held about thirty sketches. Some were landscapes, but most were body parts. Many were of himself or of his mother. That's all they needed. A couple were of Bucky too. What Bucky found the most interesting was that many were of hands. His mother’s hands. His and hers together. Some were of her lips, her nose. Steve had a talent. Not even Bucky knew. “She liked one I did so i’ve been doing it a lot” he nodded to her gently. He had a knack for bodies and the human form. 

“You never cease to amaze me, Rogers” Bucky ruffled his hair. 

The next two years were more than his mother could have asked for. She survived 4years passed they said she would, and Steve never stopped. He still worked at the art shop, attended classes through the week at the local college (part time), got a new job in management at a local department store that paid a little better, and had been doing some drawings at the local fair every summer. That’s where most of his college money came from. 

Bucky had recently found out while on a run that Steve had stopped renewing his inhaler medication to afford his mother’s insulin. It was a hard choice, as Steve knew if he had an attack bad enough, it would mean hospital bills they couldn’t afford, but it was a risk he had to take. This caused a mild fight between the best friends because Bucky just knew Steve was going to lose his mother, and he worried for his brother more than anything in the world. 

Wednesday November 12, 2014. This was a day Steve would never forget. He woke up that morning, made breakfast for him and his mother, then went to class. When he returned he had 20 minutes to spend with her then had to go to work at the art shop. That’s when it happened. He came into his mother’s room to tell him about his school day as he always did, and she just looked at him. A sad, distant expression in her eyes.

 “Come my son.” She whispered. Steve made his way to her, mentally going over a checklist to make sure she got all of her medications. She had other things as a result of her diabetes, all of which had to be monitored. “Are you feeling alright” he asked, running a hand over her face and gently taking her hand. She gave it one firm squeeze, “It’s time” she whispered. She had known all day, but held out as long as she possibly could. “Lie with me” the woman whispered to him. Steve felt the blood rush to his face, time. It couldn’t be. Not yet. Please, God.  Steve thought to himself as he lied beside Sarah. The woman wrapped herself in his arms, the two holding each other. 

“I am so proud of you, my son” she whispered. Steve felt tears brimming the bottom of his eyes, “Everything I’ve done is for you.” She gave a gentle nod, coughing a little bit as she inhaled. “I know… but it’s time you lived your own life.” 

“This is how I want to live my life- mom, with you.” Steve choked, trying his hardest not to cry at his mother's last moments with him. “No,” she said stubbornly. Even on her literal death bed, Sarah Rogers was a strong woman and wouldn’t take any other answer than what she knew to be correct. “You have lived the last six years being my humble doctor.” she said quietly. “I’m thankful-” she stopped. She cleared her throat and cupped his cheeks, “I’m thankful I got to see the man you will become.You’re a good man, Steve. I’m proud of who you are.” 

Steve felt the tears begin to roll down his cheeks, “Mommy please don’t leave me-” She tutted and kissed his hands, snuggling back down into his arms. “Shh…” she soothed. “I will be okay.” she said, her voice faltering. She closed her eyes. The two lied like that for nearly half an hour before a quiet whisper breathed, “I love you, my Patriot.” 

“I love you too, mom… more than life itself.” Steve said to her. He had so much more he wanted to say to her but he couldn’t find the strength to speak again. He had drifted off to sleep with her in his arms, no regard to call into work and let them know- he didn’t care. All that mattered was Sarah and him. He didn’t even call Bucky to tell him his favorite woman was dying. 

Part of him thought Bucky knew. Part of him knew. She hadn’t been doing well the last few days and Bucky asked to speak with her alone. Maybe he was saying goodbye. Not that he would ever admit it. 

The next time Steve opened his eyes, the sun had come up. He fell asleep around 6 pm and slept nearly 12 hours. He was exhausted. He looked to Sarah, the woman’s eyes were closed, her lips together, but it didn’t look like she was asleep. There was no stiffness in her muscles. Her cheeks had sunken in. Her body relaxed. She was gone. 

Steve had thought this moment over a million times in his head. How he would react. He thought he would scream. Be angry. Cry. But right now… He knew she was finally at peace. He didn’t know where you went when you died. None of us do. But he knew wherever she was, she wasn’t suffering. Sure, she had survived four years longer than they said, but she didn’t live. She was bedridden most of that time. 

Steve kissed her hands, knowing this was the last time they would hold each other. “I love you” he whispered and hugged her body close to his. He sighed shakily, tears running down his face, wishing he could talk to her again. “I’ll make you proud. I promise” he vowed to her. He stayed there, knowing he could spend an eternity in bed with her. He let out a huff, pulling himself away from her bed and standing up. He knelt by her bed, packing away all her medical stuff. 

He gave a soft sigh and tucked her in so she looked more comfortable. He smoothed her hair out of her face and grabbed her rosary off her side table. He regretted he didn’t get her last rites. He wasn’t all that religious, but he knew she was. She didn’t ask for it, though. Maybe she had it arranged while he was at school. He would never know though. Once he was satisfied by how she looked more like she was sleeping, he went to the living room and picked up the phone. 

Call Bucky. 

@tomisbaeholland 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #294

“maybe it’s not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate”

Is your bed big enough for two people? Yes. What is your favorite board game? I like Battleship. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think one stay at the psych hospital stretched over two weeks, maybe three. I don't remember. When was the last time you heard someone scream? Irl, probably at some point visiting my sister's family and my baby niece was upset. If you include via audio, a couple days ago when watching Egoraptor's Kingdom Hearts 2 stream. He's a Loud Boy. Who was the last person to call you baby? I have no clue. Why did you last go to the airport? I was going home from Sara's. Have you ever showered with another person? Not since I was a little kid with my sister. Is there something you are keeping a secret from your parents? I mean, nothing major. There are small things I don't tell them, though. Are you able to forget people easily? FUCK to the NO. What disgusts you about bathrooms? Sharing a toilet with literally anybody. Have you ever had gum stuck in your hair? I mean maybe at some point, but I don't think so. What was the shortest amount of time you’ve known someone before you’ve dated them? If you’ve never been in a relationship before, do you watch Scrubs? I knew Jason maybe two/three weeks before he asked me out. We clicked so damn fast. Don’t you hate it when people talk about their relationships constantly? It can become a bit much. I have (had?) a friend who did this profusely to the point it was pretty impossible to have an actual conversation, and then she fell off the face of the planet. Being in love is an absolutely amazing thing, but like... that's not all you can talk about. Do you enjoy old movies? Yeah, there are some great ones. Do your neighbors annoy you in any way? Someone a few houses down has a dog that NEVER shuts the fuck up. I don't know how it doesn't lose its voice. What was the last party you were invited to? A Halloween party hosted by my friend Summer a few years ago. It was a good time. Are you honestly happy with your life right now? N O P E Do you find it fun to pray for people? I don't pray, but even if I did, "fun" seems like the wrong word. Generally when you pray for someone, there's something negative going on in their life, so like... I think "fulfilling" is maybe a better word? Has your mom ever crocheted you a blanket? My mom has deadass been working on a massive blanket since she was in her 20s (maybe even a tad younger), and she's at the tail end of her 50s. She works on it less than once in a blue moon. She started with the intention of passing it onto her kids. Do you regret letting a certain guy slip away? Debatable. It's questionable if I ever would have gotten competent help without Jason leaving, and if I didn't, what if he finally had enough when we were already married with kids (that's what I wanted at the time, anyway)? That would have broken me even worse. What show did you want to be on as a kid? Whatever the Nickelodeon one was where you got slimed lol. Do you have regrets? Of course I do. Does anyone really know you? My mom and Sara, at least. What song do you want played at your wedding? It depends on my partner and songs we consider special. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? No. I do, however, love me some "Love Story." And you are LYYYYYYINNNNNGGGG if "Picture To Burn" doesn't make you feel like a Bad Bitch. Would you ever dye your hair unicorn colors? I would DIIIIIEEEEE to do that in pastel tints. I wish my damn hair took color well... I have literally only had ONE very effective hair dyeing experience, when my friend spent hours turning it red. It stuck for MONTHS. List 3 of your pet peeves. 1.) Turning tragedy into a competition; 2.) making mental illnesses "trendy;" and 3.) elitists of pretty much anything. Do you type fast? Very. What do you like to put on your pancakes? Typically just maple syrup, but I'll put butter on them if given it at a restaurant. Have you ever accidentally drank spoiled milk? I've taken a sip and immediately realized and spat it out. Have you ever had your heart broken? More like shattered into incalcuable pieces. When you were 3, was your natural hair color the same as it is now? No, I was dirty blonde. Have you ever received a scary message from someone online? Yes, I'm pretty sure. What does your first name rhyme with? "Infamy" is close enough, ig, if we're excluding other names. Do you have freckles on your face? No. I did as a kid, though. Who is your favorite Lisa Frank character? Probably the angel kitty (I had a coloring book, even), but they're all SO pretty. I love Lisa Frank stuff. Does your family always have your back? My mom and dad do, at least. My older sister does, meanwhile it's hard to tell with my little sister. She's not very affectionate and expressive of love to the point I question a lot if she even likes me. What type of wedding do you want to have? Gothic! Are you more of a leader or a follower? A follower, within reason. I'm definitely not a blind one. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Quite a few, actually. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, at some point. Do you have a regular vacation spot, or do you always go somewhere new? We don't really go on vacations. It's not an expense Mom can really afford. Where were you working 10 years ago? Nowhere. ... 5 years ago? Still nowhere. ... 1 year ago? Nowhere. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like a day. I know it sounds bad, but I left Girt already knowing I loved Sara, and I didn't really have anything to heal from. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? We'd have Saltines, chicken noodle soup (which I never really liked), and ginger ale. What's your favorite art style? Probably hyperrealistic fantasy stuff. What time period is considered to be your country's 'golden age?' I don't know, I'm not a history buff. Have you ever done LSD? I've never done any drugs. Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? N/A What is your favorite parody movie? Maybe the Paranormal Activity one. I barely remember it, though. What kind of first impression do you hope others have of you? That I'm kind and friendly and really care about their feelings. Do you have a good sense of balance? NOOOOOOOOOO. I stray like a motherfucker when I walk. Have for many years. It's weird. What is your least favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry, ugh. Does your car have heated seats? No. What's something that has been in your local news lately? I don't watch it. What's your favorite internet meme? Oh, I have no clue, I love memes lmao. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing, really. I'm not very adventurous with pizza. Can you name any books or movies where all the main characters die? Not off the top of my head. Do you live alone? No, I live with my mother. What’s the grossest thing you’ve encountered in/at a fast food joint? *shrug* Do you swallow chewing gum? No. Do you ever get goosebumps while listening to songs? EXTREMELY easily. Like that is so, so regular, be it from the lyrics, the singer's voice, or just the music. Are there any amusement park rides you refuse to go on? Why? Most, really. I get dizzy way, way too easily and don't want to faint. What is the best roller coaster you’ve ever been on? I'm afraid of roller coasters, so I can't answer this. Never touched one. Don’t you think black jellybeans are icky? Ugh, YES. What was the last thing you measured with a ruler? I helped Mom use the long, flexible kind to measure the couch because she was gonna move some furniture around. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen? Oh, I'm sure the mountains when driving to Tennessee. I was too young to remember it well, but I can never forget that I marveled over them. Would you rather have a Playstation or Xbox made console? I'm a Playstation gal. What if you were watching COPS and saw your significant other on there? I'm... not gonna lie, if it was Jason for doing something stupid and not, like, murderous, I'd probably cackle. Have you ever tried to write to any celebrities? No. When was the last time you blew bubbles? I ain't got a clue. Have you ever stumbled across a beehive? More like wasp nests. What food(s) make you cringe? Quite a lot, given my extreme selectiveness with textures. More than anything, probably egg yolk. Have you ever played an automated 20 Questions game and beat it? Ha, I actually had one of those! I have, but damn was that hard. Have you been to a restaurant where they cook the food in front of you? Yup, Ichiban. Pretty cool. Do you feel that presidential campaigns make people too competitive? I mean, no. People care about who is going to be the head of their country. Do you find Family Guy hilarious or offensive? Neither. Do you still write letters to people, even though there’s e-mail now? No. Have you ever had an accident involving a microwave? Ha, I'm a travesty of a cook, so yeah. I remember on one occasion I accidentally dialed in many minutes for popcorn and entirely forgot about it. Safe to say I didn't eat it. I've split hot dogs in there, and I'm certain there's more. Do you like the movie Forrest Gump? I adore that movie. One of the best films ever imo. Can you handle heat well? I honestly doubt you'll meet someone who handles it worse than me, especially physically. I have severe hyperhidrosis, so I will literally sweat like a pig in 70* weather. I absolutely cannot handle it. Do you smoke weed? What are your opinions on its legalization? No. Legalize it for at least medicinal purposes. Have you ever had a school shooting at your school? HA, I can promise you my high school must have at some point. Are you usually the first to do something, or are you more of a follower? I don't pay attention to this. What is your favorite way to eat a potato? Fries, yum. Are roses your favorite flower? No, but they're high on the list. Have you ever been to a horse race? No. I think they're abusive anyway. Do you like lobster? No. Have you ever swam in a lake? Yeah. There's one lake I swam in that was so clear you could see pretty far and just watch the fish and turtles. Have you ever convinced someone to show you their private parts? "Convinced"????? That's fucking coercion. I've seen people naked, but not by fucking pressure. What is the greatest treasure you have ever found? My older sister found a cracked amethyst geode once. Idk where it's at now, but I hope she (or we at the house, depending on where it is) finds it at some point, though. My niece has come to love smooth rocks and pebbles, and I think crystals would blow her away, never mind one that size. Do you eat beef? Regrettably. Are you good at card games? I mean, what's the game? I'm not exceptional at any I can think of. What is your favorite musical? I don't like musicals. Did you ever play the Oregon Trail game? Omg yes!!! I LOVED playing it as a kid, especially the 3rd one, I think? Do you watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia? No. Who is your favorite country singer? I actually do enjoy Tim McGraw pretty consistently, but I don't actually seek out his music. Do you know anyone who is Mormon? An old best friend was. Do you like grunge? Yeah. What’s your favorite kind of cheese? American. What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? Most likely Covid. What’s your funniest story involving a car? It's not hilarious, but once we were behind someone whose license plate said "omw" lmao. What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered? Well, a proven Covid vaccine. Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? Nope. What’s the scariest non-horror movie? Idk. What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? I'm not sure. What’s the most awkward thing that happens to you on a regular basis? Having to explain my Mark tribute tattoo lmao. What was one of the most interesting concerts you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, and while it was great, "interesting" seems like the wrong word. Where are you not welcome anymore? Probably Jason's house, at least not by him. Or Colleen's, probably. Idk how she feels about me by now. What’s the most recent show you’ve binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Paying bills. What’s the smartest thing you’ve seen an animal do? I kid you not, our first cat would look both ways twice before crossing the street across our house. (Please do not allow your cats outside.) She'd do it even more when bringing her kittens there too to hunt. Chance was truly incredible. I could really give a lot of examples of her intelligence. I also had another childhood cat (my favorite before Roman) who would respond to a certain clap pattern I'd do if Mom let me bring him inside. Wherever Charcoal was wandering, he'd come running. What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Oh, I'm sure it was RP-related stuff as a kid. What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? I'unno. What’s the saddest scene in a movie or TV series? Possible spoiler warning for a super old movie??? Probably when the main character of Old Yeller had to put the dog down because of rabies. But I cry like a bitch easily, so maybe there's something that tears me up even more or just as badly. What odd smell do you really enjoy? None that are "odd," really. What’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? I've seen a mink once when fishing with Dad deep in the woods. What’s the best lesson you’ve learned from a work of fiction? Oh, I don't know. I'd have to think for a while & I don't feel like it. What food do you crave most often? Probably ice cream. Who in your life has the best/worst luck? I don't know about best, but my mom absolutely has the worst luck. Which apocalyptic dystopia do you think is most likely? A meteor, maybe? If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? I'd want to know if they were criminals or just dangerous. What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen a kid do? Oh, my niece is so funny. One of the things that gave me the biggest laugh (and was most adorable) was this time I was taking family pictures for Ash at a local lake, and Aubree went running into the gazebo, span around totally like in a princess movie, and exclaimed, "It's enormous!" She is such a darling. If people could read your mind, what would they usually find? Just how bored I am, memories of Jason bc trauma, lamenting my disappointment in myself, "why is Mark so perfect," worrying about Sara, thinking of RP character developments... What celebrity would you like to meet? Mark. 100%. I would die to just thank him (if I could get words out, oof) and hug him and try not to soak his shirt in tears lmao. Do you need money to be happy? Don't bullshit me, you wouldn't be happy homeless because you can't afford a home. So to a degree, yes. What's a good idea you've had recently? Hm. What gift would you like to receive? At this current moment, Cloak's (Mark and Jacksepticeye's clothing brand) limited edition "life after death" design for a shirt. It is so fucking pretty, and I love the nature focus. What are you most excited about right now? Honestly? Getting my laptop back. I wanna play WoW lmao. What's your favorite song from a movie? Maybe uhhhhhh was "Supermassive Black Hole" actually written for Twilight? Where would you like to volunteer? I very, very badly want to volunteer to take pictures of animals up for adoption in shelters for like their social medias and stuff. I've asked like the two local places, but no bites yet. What's the last song you listened to? Metallica's cover of "Turn The Page." What's the last YouTube video you watched? I'm watching Gab Smolders play SOMA. Fantastic game.

[itsthwippingtime]

Fav bloggers and why?

dahskhkasj theres so many!! how am i supposed to,,, uhhh okay i love every one i do if youre not on this list it does NOT mean that i don’t love you

without further ado and in no particular order (okay I’ve noticed some are longer than others and if youre anything like me you’ll read way too much into that but please don’t i don’t mean anything by it i love you all so so so so much) 

im so sorry for how long this is. every person tagged in this; i love you so so so so much and thank you so much for just being there for me and just being a presence in my life i am so grateful for our friendship. that applies to everyone, no matter if we’ve talked every day or never, i love you all so so SO much!!! 

@anidiotwithapen - my first friend on this site (literally) and they live in Germany so we don’t get to talk as much as i would like cause ugh timezones but i love them so much, a walking disaster, the Clint to my Nat (wait am i Nat? have we discussed this yet?) the number of crack head canons that should be canon and ideas we’ve come up with like wow. i love them so so so so so so so so much. amazing artist like wow check out their art blog @neraidamira

@hraewordsmith - my babes my aunt i love her so much IM GONNA MEET HER ASJKDHASJKHDKASHJKA Rae is literally my rock one of the most supportive, loving people (persons?) I’ve ever met i love her so so so so so so so so muchdasjhkjajzkjashdjk 

@keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars - Leah. my babes. an angel on earth i love her so much!!!! I’m gonna meet her too!!! so supportive and loving and encouraging, an amazing writer, an amazing person i mean what else can i say about her???

@starkravingparker - my wife!!! my name twin!!! Ava May i love her so much and I’m so so so proud of her she is so strong and amazing every day she faces demons and battles but she never ever gives up truly inspirational to  me i love her so much and I’m gonna meet her one day maybe years from now but we’ll meet definitely and she’ll have to show me all her favorite places to go and things to do!! an amazing singer ( @starkravingava) an amazing writer ( @stparkerwrites) and amazing at making icons/edits/that stuff that i know nothing about ( @starkravingshuri) truly a talented wonderful person i love her to death. she deserves so much love and happiness and I’m so proud of her jsdajkdjlksa 

@loubuttons - lou. what can i say about lou. the sweetest person ever. always there to love on you and encourage you and hear you complain and be there to rant and shkjadsahjkska i love her so much literally an angel i cannot,,,, an amazing painter and writer and just deserves all the love in the world i love her so much 

@marvelbased SOPHIA I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE the Bucky to my Sam i could not live without her she’s constantly making me laugh i wish i could give her the world because its what she deserves i love her so much she always supports me and encourages me and we’re gonna meet one day too i know it ill die if we don’t!! dsjkhasjk i just love her!!!! 

@cartwheelandfaceplant - we don’t talk much but i love them!!! everything they reblog, marvel or not, is the Quality Content i signed up for and at least a third of my likes is probably posts from them amazing blog amazing person just amazing amazing amazing!!

@tonyintexas - ah Taylor. my partner in crime when it comes to a certain person i love her and her humor its so amazing Taylor is literally crazy but the best kind of crazy and she honestly has me cackling i love her so much

@smallittlebee - the sweetest ever!!! we don’t talk much but literally so so so so so sweet and um CHICKENS!!!!!

@peterparkerisntdead - literally Gwen’s tags and semi vague shit posts throw me into a fit every time i should expect it but i never do i never know what to expect from her she’s like a hurricane so unpredictable sdaljkasdakjsd i love her k so much!!!!!! just !!!!!!

@irondadgroupie - IM SORRY I HAVENT REPLIED TO OUR HEADCANONS IN SO LONG IM SO SO SO SORRY if maybe if you don’t mind waiting until May? my exams are over mid-may and I’m gonna try to have the out before then but its really getting stressful over here and I’m just so sorry for all the shitty excuses and me ignoring you you have no IDEA how sorry i am. i love you so much i love the head canons we come up with, so so supportive and has always supported me with my writing, since the very beginning and it means the world to me dsjakjhsjak i love you babes!!!!

@imveryobservant - ahhh Jessie i love her toooooo!!!!!! we don’t talk a whole lot but when we do its always so much fun!! there are two (2) things that make me think of Jessie: thank u, next and the muppets (i also think of Gwen when i think of the muppets)

@lovelyspidey - LIXI!!!!! Lixi and i don’t talk a whole lot either but i love her so much and she’s like the one person i can freak with about Spider-Man PS4 (LIXI YOU NEED TO FINISH IT HAVE YOU????) and she’s always been there and supported me from the beginning i love her. also my go-to girl for Tom fic recs ;)

@drowningfandoms - okay but literally idk what to say because i remember seeing your URL repeatedly in my notifs at the very beginning, and like sending me asks and stuff and it was so strange that one person liked me and wanted to interact with me. and look how far our friendship has grown!! i love you so so so much!!!! I’m so grateful for you and our friendship and just your presence in my life <3 <3 <3

@underoosstark - this bitch makes some of the best videos i have ever seen in my entire life!!!! please watch them!!! ugh your mind babes!! we don’t talk a lot either but always amazing and supportive and loving and so sweet and kind andjaksdhjksahdjkashjksahjkd 

@messedupfangirl05 - this bitch exposes me in the best ways i love her so so so much she is so kind and supportive and just so funny and I’m so so proud of her and everything she’s done. i love her and the way she writes and just EVERYTHINGS!!!!!

@tominhoodies - STEPH!!! BABES!!!! k i love Steph so much she’s an amazing writer and i love her so so so so so much she’s so funny sometimes she disappeared for days or weeks but i know she does it for her and its whats best for her and i respect and admire the amount of self control she had i love her so much okay don’t talk to me

@knife-wielding-tentacle - listen. if it weren’t for this bitch right here i would have never been introduced to the glorious head canon that is Winter Soldier!Peter and i love it so much (okay I SWEAR I’m gonna answer those asks soon but when have you known me to ever do anything on time) i love them so much jdsakjaskdjlaksjkaklsadjkl please never stop with the head canons they give me life

@adaisyspetals - DAISY!!!!!! i love daisy so much!!!!! she sends me pictures of her cat and dog and i love them too!!!! so sweet and so supportive and i love love love her writing!!!! agasdgjhsags just so amazing i love you so so so much babes!!!!

@mostly-marvel-stuffs - hi!!! we used to talk a lot more than we do now and thats okay but i miss you lots babes!!!!! um just an amazing person altogether i love them!!!! we once calculated how long it would be to do a Disney marathon with all most of the Disney movies so we’re gonna do that one day when we can stay up for a week straight (how long did we say it would be?)

@protecthefuckingbees - idk why they follow me cause they’re literally like the coolest and I’m like,,, not but i love them so so so much so supportive and kind and loving and sdjkhajdhjkahdajk i just love you sooooo much!!!!!!

@tomhollandswhore - we talk like every three days but i cherish those conversations, literally so sweet and kind and supportive and a New Friend cause we don’t know each other super well yet but i already know i love them!!!!! 

@tonystarkdadmode - oh my gosh okay so sweet and so amazing and so supportive and just so amazing i love love love them!!!! i love their header (its so iconic go look) and just dsjkasjkdasjkhdsjkadsajk love you so much babes!!!!! 

@spider-boiii - the creator of my icon, always has me cackling, super amazing, really nice, I!!!! LOVE!!!!!! THEM!!!!!!!!!

@spookyclooky - k amazing artist first off! also like the only person i can talk to about Detroit: Become Human and (possibly) other PS4 games (we need to play GTA online one day i feel like that’d be a lot of fun haha!!!) i love them so much they’re so sweet and very patiently put up with my incessant questions about DBH, as annoying as they were

@sup-mr-stark, @mysteryavengers, @death1by3thoughts, @tamaranianprincess, @tomhollandeu @tomhollanders2013, @ebonyheartnet, @avengvr, @anxieteandbiscuits, @theincorrectavengers, @spiderman-homecumming, @my-babies-are-ash, @she-loves-her-queens-of-whump - these blogs… we don’t talk a whole lot and i really wish we did, but we all just kinda stand by and support and love each other even tho we’ve had like 3 or less conversations BUT THEYRE STILL ALL AMAZING AND HAVE AMAZING BLOGS AND ARE JUST ALTOGETHER AMAZING PEOPLE I LOVE THEM!!!!

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Mod Note Re: Disability

Greetings fellow Fandalites!  Bug and I wanted to address something we’ve noticed in a couple asks.

We’re both interested in disability studies. Or, rather, after being exposed to scholarship, activism, and art about the portrayal of disability in popular culture, we’ve both come to realize a few things.  A. Ableism is far too prevalent in society, B. Any scholarship that includes identity politics (race studies, queer studies, post-Colonialism, etc) NEEDS to consider the disabled identity, c. We need to amplify disabled voices, especially artists, and d. Media portrayals of disabled characters are often deeply problematic.

Bug and I are not experts in disability studies, but we are both working hard to educate ourselves and apply disability studies to our chosen fields.

A quick definition for those of you unfamiliar: ableism is “discrimination in favor of able-bodied people...it’s also the belief that people with disabilities need to be fixed or cannot function as full members of society, and that having a disability is a defect rather than a dimension of difference” (X). It’s casting disability as something wrong with the body of the disabled individual, rather than something wrong with the society that fails to accommodate disabled bodies and minds. It’s assuming people with disabilities have little or no autonomy—basically what Jake (and to a lesser extent Marco and Cassie) do in #50 when they meet James, Kelly, Colette, and the others. Allie Cannington says that society tends to have “a very narrow-minded perception of disability. That narrow-minded assumption that all individuals with disabilities need and want certain things.”

This isn’t meant to point fingers or blame anyone. We didn’t know this a few years ago. We really doubt anyone on here is being deliberately ableist. But there are a few things that skirt uncomfortably close to ableism, so we won’t answer asks dealing with:

The assumption that people with disabilities would want to become nothlits in abled bodies. (Aside from lumping everyone together, this implies the superiority of abled over disabled bodies.  Also, the U.S.’s abysmal history of mistreating and dismissing the disabled makes it questionable whether this technology would be offered, whether or not anyone wanted it.)

The assumption that anyone with a disability would want to use alien or human technology to change themselves, including when it comes to mental illness and neurodiversity.

The assumption that Yeerks in their natural form are disabled. If humans figured out a way to fly, or teleport, or make things appear out of midair, it wouldn’t mean that the humans who couldn’t do those things were disabled. All the things I listed are super cool, and if I gained one of those abilities I would be VERY reluctant to give it up. But unless it was something that evolved organically (which takings hosts didn’t,) and/or anyone without this ability would die, (which isn’t true for the Yeerks,) the lack of having a host/a superpower/whatever does NOT automatically make someone disabled.

The assumption that an entire group of people (vecols, the visually impaired, the elderly, Minnesotans, the YPM, Hork Bajir, water polo enthusiasts, etc etc etc) would want the same or similar modifications to their minds or bodies.

Any strong assumptions about a disability that neither we nor anyone we’re close to has experienced. As Bug mentioned in her deaf Marco AU, we have an uncle who is hard of hearing. Simply knowing him isn’t enough—it’s the stories he’s shared about everyday ableism, about the frustrations of being hard of hearing in a hearing world, and about Deaf culture—that informed Bug’s AU.  We’re not close with anyone with, for instance, paralysis or amputation; our ability to speak meaningfully about the life experiences of those individuals is severely limited.

If you have a disability and you’d like to consider what it would mean if Rachel were blind, or if Timmy was angrier at the Animorphs for getting his best friend killed, go for it. Tag us and we’ll happily share it. Also feel free to message us if we ever say or share anything that you find ableist. We’re still learning.

As Bug has said before, there’s simply no way that every ask will be answered. Just because you didn’t receive an answer doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Bug (and rarely, me,) answers asks that spark an idea, a scene, etc. There are some really interesting asks that won’t get answered. We’re Ph.D students: free time is a rare commodity.

— Cates

A couple of Bug’s asides on discussions of disability are below the cut.

To quote Cates: “Some people choose to modify their bodies/minds, some of them because of disabilities.  Some do not choose to do so; some do not have that choice.  However, ‘Julie didn’t want to be deaf anymore’ isn’t a story. ‘Julie decided to get a cochlear implant after considering the opinions of friends who had and hadn’t chosen to get the implant. She was nervous that she was just doing it to please her husband, who wasn’t deaf, but she decided that getting the implant would help her in her career as a speech therapist, and, hey, it was something she really wanted, so she went for it.’ That’s a story.”

Some other Animorphs-specific ideas that are doubtless well-intentioned but do not necessarily reflect the experiences of individuals with disabilities:

Yeerks as assistants for individuals with communication-related disabilities.  This practice could be useful for individuals who understand the process of yeerk infestation and give their fully informed consent.  However, it would involve giving a total stranger access to the disabled individual’s email passwords, personal fantasies, secret fears, weird crushes, and literally every single other piece of private information in that person’s life.  The implications become extremely troubling extremely quickly if the would-be host didn’t choose to seek out a yeerk assistant of their own accord.

Vecols finding a haven on Earth.  Although Mertil specifically chooses to live on Earth to avoid andalite ableism, no Earth society is absent of ableism.  The attitude that individuals with disabilities should “hide away” because it’s “for their own good” exists among humans as well as andalites.  The possibilities of humans and andalites having different attitudes toward disability are endless, but unfortunately Earth is definitely not a utopia for vecols.

Yeerks as having a “right” to use others’ bodies by force because of qualities of yeerk bodies.  At least in the U.N., there aren’t policies about anyone having the “right” to enslave anyone else, regardless of any of the individuals’ embodied experiences.

James and the other Auximorphs preferring abled bodies by default.  Some of them might prefer abled bodies, some might not.  We don’t know, and we don’t have enough information to make any assumptions.

Anyway, I’m echoing what Cates said: nobody is making these assumptions on purpose, and nobody has any malice here.  I’m still learning about disability studies, and a few years ago I wouldn’t have realized that many of these discussions are dominated by abled voices.  I’m trying to become more educated and responsible about my own abled privileges, and I seriously appreciate anyone who is willing to let us know how we can be more responsible and inclusive in the future.  Thank you.

— Bug

[nogodinvolvedsblog]

From the author of the book “Islam Dismantled: The Mental Illness of Prophet Muhammad” :«After much delay, ultimately my book “Islam Dismantled: The Mental Illness of Prophet Muhammad” is published and available for online purchase and in various book stores. In this article, I intend to introduce the book to you and to discuss few salient features of the book. In the market there is no shortage of books critical to Islam, but why should the readers purchase this particular book? What is there in this book that makes this book unique? As the author of this book I am answerable to each one of you.This book dismantles Islam by exposing the imposture of Muhammad. The historical Muhammad is too privileged to be formally evaluated in the fashion a clinical psychologist would like. But given certain of his well-known and highly documented behaviors, it is certain that he had a conflict-ridden psychological dependence on others. He equated love with weakness and feared intimacy. He inflicted pain and abuse on others as his second nature. He was unable to give his followers a reason to live, so he gave them enough reasons to die – die in Allah’s name to enter paradise. He could not convince the Arabs to choose his religion based upon its merits, so he threatened them with damnation, and the religion he preached was more about fantasy less about proof. Any person who, among other atrocities, orders and watches 800 innocent people beheaded and beds the wife of a man whom he had tortured to death that very night cannot be considered psychologically normal. Common sense alone tells us that a fifty-one years old man who marries a six year old girl is abnormal. The notion that a godly revelation would focus on the sexual desires of a lecherous man is really disgusting. No religion in the world has ever destroyed family ties as Muhammad has done in Islam.Muhammad had shown all the symptoms of his lunacy and his prophetic claim was based on the quicksand of grand delusion. But the irony is that the entire religion of Islam is based on the truth claim of such a man who could easily swing back and forth between the two extremes – reality and fantasy.Muslims believe that Muhammad was the noblest person who ever walked on Earth. In the Qur’an, Allah praises Muhammad as the best of the creation, an excellent example (Q: 33.21), exalted above other Prophets in degrees (Q: 2.253), the preferred one (Q: 17.55), a mercy to the worlds (Q: 21.107), and the one who has risen to a praised estate (Q: 17.79). But the five oldest and most trusted Islamic sources do not portray Muhammad a superior being or any kind of mercy of God among mankind. The sources reveal that he was a thief, a liar, an assassin, a pedophile, a shameless womanizer, a promiscuous husband, a rapist, a mass-murderer, a desert pirate, a warmonger, a spineless coward and a calculating and ruthless tyrant. It is certainly not the character profile of the founder of a true religion.Religion was just a cause for Muhammad. He actually worshipped his own image – not God. He had created Allah in his own image and attributed to that God the qualities of his own self. Allah was a plastic entity that Muhammad shaped to meet his needs. That is why Allah seems a multidimensional entity in the Qur’an, an obedient servant that Muhammad used for any occasion from managing the harem affairs of his wives to swearing to punish mercilessly whosoever disagrees with His beloved messenger.In his religious endeavor, Muhammad made mistakes and was defeated many times, but he did not give up. He corrected himself and moved ahead by abrogating verses with suitable additions. No one can deny that on several occasions he intentionally did harm knowing perfectly well that he was obeying his own will and not an inspiration from God. He talked much about paradise, hell, virtue and sin; but his actions did not show that he had really believed whatever he was saying. He lied on several occasions and encouraged lying to propagate his religion. No doubt, Muhammad had mastered the art of deception. He never gave a second thought to compromise morality for political gain. In his mind there was no other determinant. So he raged when confronted with disagreement or opposition, or, anything that threatened his worldview.Muhammad was not capable of introspection, i.e., he was not capable to judge his actions from the outside. His critics made him realize that there was a “grandiosity gap” (between his self-image and reality) which made him helpless. Since he could not win in a scholarly debate with the critics, he deceitfully got them assassinated. This was his only way to deal with all his intellectual opponents.Critics often ask one question; was Muhammad a knowing fraud or he genuinely believed that the revelations were coming from a God? No matter whatever is the truth, it simply does not make much sense. Even if he was sincere, it does not relieve him from the criminal charges that are put on him. If a racially prejudiced white man “sincerely” believes that blacks should not get equal rights in the civilized society, his “sincerity” does not affect our moral condemnation of his belief. For the same reason we condemn those Hindus who still believe in untouchability. In the same way, Muhammad cannot get away in any case. If he was not a knowing fraud, then we can say that he was capable of self-deception. He used to bring messages freely from his God to justify political murders, assassinations, raid, booty, pedophilia, abundant sex even to solve his domestic problems which are clear evidences that he was an absolute fake; his sincerity means nothing. Secondly, he was perfectly capable of distinguishing right from wrong and anticipating the results of his actions and their influence on the society. Though he caused great misery to others, he hardly felt responsible for them. Therefore, he should be held liable for his deeds and exploits.Muhammad had used Islam to pervade Muslim psyche, and possessed their mind. Muslims are not slaves of Allah; they are slaves of Muhammad. For the Muslims, Muhammad is their drug, their addiction. Without Muhammad, it is a world of black and white. With Muhammad it is a colorful show complete with drama, thrills, fun and full of excitement. While offering five obligatory prayers, Muslims think that they are praying to God, but actually their prayers go to Muhammad. Muhammad is the real God of Islam, not Allah. Muslims simply cannot dare to cross the narrow limits specified by Qur’an and ahadith. They can view the world only through the eyes of Muhammad, and it continues throughout their lives. Once belief systems are rigidly instilled – they are virtually impossible to modify belatedly. The sad part is that Muslims are not even aware of it as we read in the science fictions of alien snatching the human bodies. Muhammad had invaded and modified the minds of Muslims and brought them to his bubble universe to serve him. This way, when the Muslims adopt Muhammad’s way of thinking, they become as destructive as Muhammad.Muhammad obsessively believed in his own infallibility, brilliance, heroism, and perfection. He gave the Qur’an as the only evidence of his prophethood. At the same time, deep inside in his mind he knew that unlike the Biblical Prophets he could not perform miracles. He knew that his Qur’an could not stand criticism. He knew that his religion could not be morally and spiritually at par with other established religions of Arabia, like, Christianity and Judaism; but he did not dare confront the truth. In fact he even could not admit the truth to himself. He only imagined that he was on a divine mission, a messenger of Allah. This is how he failed the “reality test” – he was simply unable to distinguish the actual (external world) from the imagined (the internal world of thoughts and feelings) by making logical analysis of the religion he was preaching or allowing others to do this. For him the reality became shadow and the shadow became reality.Islam is an extremely defenseless religion and hence vulnerable to collapse. “Defenseless” in the sense, there is not a single atom of truth in it to support. This failed religion, originated from the grand delusion of a malignant Narcissist, is the biggest hoax humanity has ever seen. It is like a house of cards – looks tall, big, mighty and gigantic but the base is very weak. The day when criticism will have dismantled piece by piece this enormous falsehood of Islam, the whole edifice will come crumbling down. Then the Muslims will ask themselves how this enormous falsehood could have forced acceptance for such a long time. I can already see some cracks in this gigantic structure.Muhammad’s actions and commands in Allah’s name are immortalized in Qur’an and Hadith collections. These are not only shocking in the standard of our time, but many Meccans during those days were equally shocked by seeing his brutal performance in the name of God. Muhammad succeeded in his prophetic mission because there was no powerful Government to stop him. If Muhammad had been living under Roman rule, surely his mission would have resulted in losing his life and his religion would have been stamped out by strong military action.Probably, the most terrible legacy of Muhammad was his rigid firmness that the Qur’anic revelations were the literal word of God and the significance of these verses are eternal. The irony is that in the entire history of Islam, Qur’an fails to give one solid argument at its favor that cannot be successfully refuted. A nation might read the Qur’an and explain minutely every word for centuries without advancing one step on the road to progress. In the tiresome repetition of the mindless blabbering of a mentally deranged illiterate person, the human mind loses its elasticity, its sagacity, its constructivism and its curiosity. Through Freudian analysis, it can be shown that the prohibition of critical thinking at one point leads to an impoverishment of a person’s critical ability in other spheres of thought and thereby obstructs the power of reason. Consequently, the intellect becomes atrophied and incapable of an original effort. This is the cause of intellectual bankruptcy of the Muslim nations.The self-serving messages of an illiterate seventh century malignant Narcissist passed down to the Muslims generation after generation as unquestionable word of Allah, and as time passed, men were found to take up these words and make them into weapons to cause injustice, oppression, domination, and for conversion by force. Islam is a bankrupt ideology from the standpoint of humanism. The early Arab invaders were no way better than controlled mass-murderers. They were hard-wired to cheat, kill and loot, and had transformed Islam from a religion into an organized crime. In general, they were brainwashed by Muhammad’s teaching to inflict great suffering on other humans without feeling any remorse. The prodigious success of the Arab conquest proves nothing. Attila the Hun, Genseric the Vandal king, Gengis Khan and Alexander the Great brought many nations into subjection; yet civilization owes them absolutely nothing. A conquering people only exercise a civilizing influence when it itself is more civilized than the people conquered.In this book I have no intention of testing God. I just want to test Muhammad’s claim to the title of messenger of God because I refuse to accept his claim blindly. Throughout the recorded history of humankind, many imposters have posed as “god-man” with well-packaged gimmickry and fooled us. Anyone who claims to be a Prophet must be prepared to have his prophecy tested. The aim of this book is to diagnose Muhammad by making use of biographical data and through the application of psychological theory and research. This psychobiography is all about the “why” – the question of motives. I don’t want to tell the story of Muhammad, but unveil the story behind the story. My intention is to uncover the private motives behind his public acts. This book presents two theses – Muhammad suffered from malignant narcissism, and was also affected by neurotic disorder which caused regular psychiatric delusions.I wrote this book after three years of hard research. I have analyzed the Prophet of Islam from a perspective by delving into the psychological impulses that controlled Muhammad and made him the phenomenon that he became. For writing this book, I took references from various well known psychoanalysts; e.g., Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, James Masterson, Sandy Hotchkiss, Sam Vaknin, Martha Stout, a combined work by Cynthia Zayn & Kevin Dibble, just to mention a few. In this process, I have solved many mysteries of Islam which remained mystery ever since the birth of Islam. Therefore there are many details in this book which are my original findings; these are not explained by any critic so far in the history of Islam. Only for this reason, I request the readers to read my book. Even if you have read hundreds of books on Islam, this book will always offer you something more.I have not written the book to make profit. This is absolutely a non-profit making project. The pre-publication formalities, as example; manuscript preparation, tracing, formatting, and proof-reading were done at Calcutta (India). All the expenditures were borne by me. It means the purchase cost of this book is even less than the production cost of each copy. I have taken every step to keep the cost of the book as low as possible. This book is also available as kindle edition. This e-version of the book is even cheaper. Those who live in Islamic countries should purchase the kindle version of the book. It is available at Amazon kindle.While promoting the book on Facebook, I have already received a death threat from a pro-Islam group for insulting their Prophet. What makes me sad is that some Christians and Hindus are also accusing me of offending Muslim sensibilities. They want me to withdraw the book from the market. I understand, objective historical research on Muhammad has long been severely handicapped both by the resistance of the Muslim societies to Western analysis of their sacred traditions and by the apologetic approaches of many Western scholars who had compromised their investigation for fear of offending Muslim sensibilities. Therefore, most of the books today tell us about Muhammad of faith not the Muhammad of history.Many freethinkers and scholars have endangered their lives by revealing to the public information about Muhammad and Islam that public had never heard before. For this reason; Theo Van Gogh was shot and stabbed to death in Netherlands and his associate Ayaan Hirsi Ali had to live with bodyguards and armored cars, Taslima Nasrin has been living in exile since 1994, Faraj Foda was shot dead in front of his office in Cairo, Nasr Hamid Abu Zayd fled out of Egypt to escape the death penalty, and Sayyid Mahmoud al-Qimni was forced to recant all his writings. Unfortunately, before the outside world would get a chance to read their works, these writers were silenced through murder, terrorization, and death-threat, and their writings were banned in the Muslim world. I understand that by writing this book I am putting myself in a very dangerous situation, but at any cost I will not fall back, not even at the cost of my life. I will never withdraw the book from the market. Let the fanatics do whatever they can do. It is my birth-right to tell the truth and stand against the evil. How can I forget the sufferings of millions of innocent victims of Islamic jihad worldwide?Even if the Muslim clerics issue a fatwa on my head and eventually the fanatics kill me, still they will not be able to stop the truth from spreading. Truth is a fact and not a judgment. Muslims can discredit me the way they like, they can kill me but they cannot stop the truth from spreading. The hard fact is that Muhammad was not a Prophet of any God, he was a mental patient. Islam is the grand delusion of Muhammad. Muhammad was not the first person who claimed to have received messages from God. Throughout the recorded history of mankind, there are literally hundreds of thousands of people who declared themselves as a spokesman of God. Even today, in the mental hospitals and in the cult scene, we can find many mentally disordered and strange people who, likewise, believe to be regular recipients of messages from some unknown divine sources. They are “honest” in their claim and “sincere” in their declaration. Often those people manage to make others believe in their claims too. Many of them set themselves up as cult leaders, revered by a group of followers as their direct “telephone line” to God or the spirit world.Though as the author I hold the copyright of this book, the fact is that this book is out of my control. I have no regret for this; this book is a gift to you and I don’t want to have a control over this book. In fact I consider myself a very insignificant person. The truth and the new explanations that I put forward through this book are more important. When a researcher gives new explanations or critically analyzes something from a different perspective, the new ideas should not be the personal property of the author. In fact the author becomes a bond-servant of his creation. If, after reading the book, you have some further questions, I am directly responsible to give you reply. This book is a small gift to humanity from my side. That’s why this book is yours, not mine. Please purchase a copy and encourage others to purchase. Please promote this book – not for the author but for the sake of humanity.Lastly, I wish to have an intimate talk with the Muslims. I have absolutely no hate for you, my dearest Muslim brethren – let me be very clear on this matter. In fact many of my close friends are Muslims. How can I hate you, you are the first victims of Islam. Every Muslim is an abductee from the civilization in which he once belonged and put into a mental slavery. Same diagnosis is applicable to the Arabs also. Though they did not have to adopt foreign customs and language, which made the transition to Islam less disruptive, they too were cut off from their original pagan culture. Just break the myth of Muhammad and try to analyze the Muhammad of history, and then you will see the obvious falsehood of Islam. I have absolutely no intention to offend anyone; I just want to tell the truth. But, sorry, I cannot compromise my investigation for fear of offending Muslim sensibilities. Your beloved Prophet was a real devil who used religion to deceive you. Muhammad separated you from the real God of human race, the real Creator. The deception, death, and damnation of men were Muhammad’s life ambition. Your beloved Prophet was a vulgar imposter in a divine robe. He had valued you when he found that you could advance his religion, but devalued you at the next moment if you did not comply with his whims and wishes. He treated you as lifeless objects, and manipulated you so cunningly as if he had conquered you, “chained” you, conditioned you and moulded you. He exploited you as if he “knew” that he could do anything he wanted them to do. Throughout his prophetic endeavor, he derived his self-worth from you, as if he would collapse and self-annihilate without them. As long you practice Islam, you are a slave of Muhammad.According to me, most of the Muslims know virtually nothing about the Prophet of Islam because an honest biography of Muhammad was never written for them. There are enough pious and totally unobjective traditions of Muhammad preserved by the Muslim religious community, but what is lacking in these sources is honesty. Even today, numerous works in Arabic and other Muslim majority languages appear each year. These books try to portray Muhammad as a holy man, a seer, visionary and miracle worker; which are far away from truth. The reason, Muslims cannot write an honest biography of their Prophet, is that the biography of Muhammad is a subject that is taboo. That’s why Muslims learn about the Muhammad of faith, not the Muhammad of history. My book will help the Muslims to see the truth about the Prophet.I hate the ideology which enslaves the Muslims and make them terrorists. My stanch enemy is Islam and not the Muslims. I want to dismantle this doctrine of hate and murder. My intention is not only to confront Islamic jihad but at the same time to rescue the Muslims from the evil grip of Islam. I want to see the Muslims returning back within the fold of humanity by rejecting Islam.»freedomofspeech

[akokosblog-blog]

Check this new published post on https://is.gd/5U3qXE

Falz Moral Instruction Album Review

Falz Moral Instruction album amidst much controversy is released. Falz highly anticipated album was released on the 15th of January 2019 with the hashtag #moralinstruction rolling on social media.

One of the notable figures that greatly influenced Nigerian music is Fela Anikulapo Kuti, professionally known as Fela Kuti, or Fela.

Fela was a talented musician, composer, pioneer of afrobeat and he played multiple instruments.

He was known to be a staunch activist as he stood up for the people and resisted oppression back in his time.

There were multiple cases of him being persecuted for his beliefs and what he stood for.

In a particular instance, he was jailed for 20months but still, he pushed on and stood his ground.

Over time, the music industry in Nigeria has evolved and experienced tremendous progress and changes.

Different artists have contributed to the gallery of music and the number keeps increasing by the hundreds every day.

Many artists have been called Fela because they have tried to emulate Fela as regards his style of music and activism.

Artists like Wizkid, Burnaboy and a host of others have been labeled the new Fela.

So, Folarin Falana, popularly known as “Falz theBahdGuy”, a rapper, released a 9-track album titled Moral Instruction.

Falz extensively and outrightly expressed his dissatisfaction at the state of things in Nigeria.

Falz has always been vocal about the state of things in the country maybe because of the activist blood running in his veins.

Prior to the release of the Moral Instruction album, he released songs like Child of the world, which is a story of a moral upright girl that got corrupted when she got raped by an uncle and eventually, she became a sex worker and ultimately, she changed and became a new person.

Social media went agog when the song was released with different individuals voicing out their opinion.

Falz has always expressed his dislike for girls that place a value on sex and internet fraudsters popularly known as Yahoo-Yahoo boys.

Last year, Falz also released a controversial video, This is Nigeria.

The video depicted the current state of the nation including, the Fulani killings, the snake swallowing 36-million-naira scandal, the sorry state of Nigerian politics, the harassment of citizens by FSARS and a host of other issues in the country.

All these conveniently paved ways for the new album Moral Instruction.

Falz Moral Instruction Album Review

Moral Instruction Album Review – Falz

Falz channeled the spirit of Fela’s activism and this was outrightly visible from the album art as designed by the talented designer, Lemi Ghariokwu who designed many of the cover images for the recordings of Fela.

He teamed up with producers like Sess, Chillz, Willis, and TMXO to create this beautiful body of work. It is important to also note that he sampled some of Fela’s songs in the album.

Each country in the world has an artist or group of artists considered to be the G.O.A.T (not the pepper soup type, G.O.A.T stands for Greatest Of All Time) for that country.

In America, most believe this is Tupac Shakur, while some think Michael Jackson or Elton John should have that title-depending on who you ask; Jamaica has Bob Marley, Ghana is fortunate enough to have a living G.O.A.T in the person of Sarkodie and so on.

In Nigeria however, the greatest artist of all time is without any doubt FELA KUTI.

In a country with divisions in tribe and religion and even subdivisions within the aforementioned groups, it is very surprising that FELA’S title of G.O.A.T goes unchallenged.

To many Nigerians, Fela is a physical embodiment of fearlessness.

He spoke the truth everybody knew but were too scared to speak, he fought for the weak, he challenged the oppressors of Nigeria at the risk of his own personal safety and the safety of his family.

This is why to say an artist is “like Fela” or “is the Fela of our generation” is the highest compliment that can be paid to a Nigerian musician.

Falz theBahdGuy is the latest artist in a long list of artists currently contending for that spot and many feels he has earned it with this new album #moralinstruction.

His album talks about every single thing wrong with Nigeria.

He literally “dragged” the whole country-pastors, church members, politicians, citizens, sex workers, child abusers, everybody in Nigeria was dragged and this is the major reason why the album is on everybody’s lips.

Since everybody was mentioned on that album it means every single Nigerian relates to at least one song on the album with majority of Nigerians relating to all the songs.

Track by Track breakdown of the Fela Moral Instruction Album

Johnny

The first track on the album contains samples of Fela’s song “Johnny just drop”.

TMXO infused a hip hop beat into the afrobeat song. I think Falz used this track to start a chain reaction and set the pace for the remaining tracks.

This song transports the listener back to 1980 with the Fela type of instrumental.

Falz tackles the issue of police brutality by telling a short story about a Nigerian youth – Johnny, who just completed his youth service and was shot when he went out to celebrate with friends.

On the track, Falz talked about the alarming rate of insecurity in Nigeria.

He stated the different levels of insecurity in the country ranging from the cultural and religious killings in different parts of the country.

He questions the lack of punishment for the officers involved in the act and is baffled that the government thinks an apology is enough to sate the bereaved parents of the deceased.

It depicts the savagery and recklessness of the Nigerian police force as different reports of “trigger-happy cops” fill the headlines every day.

He ended the song with the Yoruba words, “if Johnny continues to drop, eyanmelo lo maku, eyanmelo lo maku” which means, how many people will die and how many people will be left.

Follow Follow

This track is based on Fela’s Zombie, and Sess smoothly blended it into a hip-hop groove. This immediately reminds the listener of the popular Fela song “zombie” and the message is very clear.

Fela sang the original song which talks about how soldiers are bound to follow orders.

Falz built on this with how he likened the enslavement of people by social media to people being zombies.

The song addresses people that are ready to do anything for validation, people who don’t have any goals of their own and people who jump on wagons simply because other people are doing it.

Different individuals try to be what they are not and imitate what they see on social media.

He talks about how people have lost their self-identity and caved into peer pressure.

The song emphasizes the craziness and the extent people go, to please other people and also get likes and followers on social media.

Hypocrite

This particular track is one of my favorite tracks on the album. The song started with piano chords which transitioned into a groovy beat.

Falz teamed up with Demmie Vee who delivered a sonorous hook to the verses of the song.

The first verse started out with Falz singing a little bit before he went hardcore and the second verse, the same way.

The song addresses the hypocrisy in the society ranging from the government to the common man.

Falz theBahdGuy in his usual bar spitting nature dissected matters affecting Nigeria (fake pastors, overzealous Muslims, child marriage, pedophiles in the church and politicians that starve their fellow citizens to their purses).

He talked about how people have two faces; the face they put on the outside and the real one.

Talk

This track was released a few days before the album was released and it is also about all the ills in society.

The song slowly progressed in a call and response manner until Falz went on a spree of another marvelous spits of bars.

“Anything I talk make you talk am again”

Addressed the situation of MURIC suing him, stating that they didn’t show up at court.

Falz TheBahdGuy didn’t hold back in this particular track as he rapped about a wide range of things including transactional sex, late payment of salaries by the government and the bad situation of things in Nigeria.

The song ended by him taking responsibility of the words spoken and he said, “na me talk am o”.

Amen

This particular one was built on the track “Coffin for Head of state” by Fela.

Falz has made it clear over and over again that hypocrisy in religion upsets him.

Amen attacks religious leaders that have successfully commercialized religion, he laughs at the irony of religious leaders using the money of their followers to build a university that the followers cannot afford to go to.

This song is a plea to the listener to open his eyes, mind and to think for his/her self.

Brother’s keeper

The family is very precious to Nigerians; Fathers kill for their daughters, sons go to war for their Mothers.

If we thought of all our neighbors as brothers would there still be hate in the country?

Would we still be divided because of ethnic and religious differences? These are the question’s this song is trying to ask.

Falz talks about individuals at different levels not looking out for each other and emphasized what he has been saying on the previous tracks.

He believes love is the answer; if you love your neighbor like your brother you cannot cheat him, you cannot seek to do him harm.

Sess did justice to the track as both the producer and the singer of the hook.

I also love the fact that the backup vocals sound like a choir singing giving the track a very unique vibe.

The song has one message for its listener-be your brother’s keeper.

Paper

What’s money worth? The breaker of tables once again comes with his hammer to do an honest day’s work. 

He condemns parents giving out underage children because of money, he expresses disappointment at ritualists, drug smugglers and politicians who are ready to do anything to get money.

This particular track is an extension of the previous tracks.

In his own words, they commit all these crimes all because of “just paper”.

E no finish

Here he questions the purpose of speaking out about the injustice in the society when the issues that Fela talked about are still not resolved till today.

Fela talked, people applauded him and continued wallowing in their filth.

He tries to let the listener know just how bad the situation is in the country if we are still trying and failing to work out the same problems since independence.

It ended with Lemi Ghariokwu saying few words about the state of things in Nigeria.

After all said and done

In this short poem, Falz theBahdGuy admits that he knows he has no right to throw blame around, admitting his own faults and weaknesses, since he is also a human with flaws of his own.

The track is in form of a poetry rendition.

He believes everybody is guilty – through action or inaction and only by accepting our guilt and striving to be better can we move forward as a country, together.

He finally encouraged people to be conscious and not keep quiet about the happenings in our society.

In conclusion

Falz may have dropped what promises to be the most controversial album of the year but regardless of your opinion about the Falz Moral Instruction album you have to admit that all he said is nothing but the gospel truth.

It’s great to see an artiste devote a whole album to talk about the state of affairs in Nigeria and taking the path of activism and walk in Fela’s footsteps.

Fela has become more than a person. Fela has become more of an ideology and a way of life.

I think anyone that decides to stand for what is right and stare into the face of adversity can be called “A Fela”.

It is safe to say Falz theBahdGuy is “A Fela”.

The greatest criticism of the album is that the lyrics became monotonous at some point but a good message cannot be overheard and we don’t even care about the critics and criticism.

Falz took a stand with this album and I hope he does not deviate from this path.

Written By Leon Chuks and Moyo Oluwatuyi

[indi-flying-with-dragons]

(Get ready!) 1. Any scars? 4. Kissed anyone? 5. Coke or Pepsi? 6. Someone you hate? 7. Best friends? 8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? 9. What’s your dream job? 13. Height? 18. Obsession? 19. If you had one wish, what would it be? 21. Kiss or hug? 22. Nicknames people call you? 23. Favorite song? 24. Favorite band? 26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? 27. Something you would change about yourself? 30. Watch the movie or read the book? 32. Favorite show?

[Continued]

(Same anon continued!) 35. Do you wish you could ever start over? 36. Any bad habits? 37. Ever had a near death experience? 38. Someone you can tell anything to? 41. Someone you hate/dislike? 42. Are you okay?

WOW… you’re certainly a…. enthusiastic anon eh? e.o *mind boggled* Let me… let me reply to all these. As brief as possible. E^E….Geesh. 24 different questions. Damn… My apologies to everyone. This is gonna be a LONG POST. e.o

Btw THANKS FOR ASKING :D *GLOMPAGES* X3 *hug-SQUISH*

Long post below! O.e

1. Any scars?

Um, I have two on my head, right behind my ears at different heights from my two different cochlear implant surgeries to install the internal parts into my head so the external processors will work. When my hair is short it looks like someone purposefully buzzed a line through my hair there, lol, but it’s natural from the surgery when I was 7 and 11 years old respectively.

And since I heal very well, my scars are real hard to see. I still have a faint one on my thumb, at the base of the last joint to the front of it, and one along the left side of my middle finger (both fingers on my right hand) that is still rough and keeps peeling a lot even now, years after the event.

Those I got from a random-ass exploding lightbulb that I was screwing in, had MADE SURE the lamp was off both at the wall and at the lamp itself (though I didn’t unplug it because I didn’t think I needed to…), but nope I had screwed it in one too many times, saw a BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT, and then it exploded, glass everywhere, and somehow only got hit on my index finger, middle finger, and thumb. ONLY there! Even to this day my engineer mother is completely baffled as to how that happened.

4. Kissed anyone?

Yes. My first ever kiss[es] was with an enthusiastic sloppy and awkward boy during a yearly dance when I was in highschool (I was unschooling and going to the Voyagers Homeschooling Co-op and they hosted yearly dances). Five French kisses are not my idea of a good first kiss ever!

My second ever person to kiss was … well. *blush and funny deadpan with crossed arms* He knows who he is. Since apparently I keep totally forgetting it somehow until he mentions it in a teasing fashion and yes we did date for a short while there before breaking up and remaining friends.

My third and remainder of kisses are thoroughly claimed by my handsome, hot boyfriend. -w-

5. Coke or Pepsi?

Coke. ALL. THE. WAY.

Blame my awesome grandmother (R.I.P.) who had 4 pm be coca cola time every day. :D She got me on coke early. …NOT COCAINE! Yeesh. Dirty minds. She also introduced me to my love of dragons and she was awesomely supportive and adoring of my artwork. :3 Since she was hard of hearing from old age and I was born hard of hearing, we got along well with having the TV on a comfortable loudness (for us). x3

…Damn just thinking about coca cola makes me think of her. :,) I even drank a whole 1 liter glass bottle of coke we got at a Mexican food store nearby for her funeral fiesta since she wanted a party for a funeral, not a sad dirge. :3 https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ea/51/da/ea51da750fc136a655021c558b7c28c5.jpg Yes this one. XD I drank it all in under an hour in her honor and memory. I was so thirsty and so proud. XD I still have the empty bottle. x3

6. Someone you hate?

IDK… Hmm… I’m not one to really hate people. It’s such a strong emotion… I always thought of it as a “I want you to instantly die, right here and right now!” kind of emotion. So I don’t really hate people.

…I DO know of someone I would… honestly NOT be sad if she died. Considering she caused a hellava LOT of suffering and torment for my friend. I’d be sad because my friend would be sad, BUT I wouldn’t be sad because I actually missed her or regretted her death in any way.

7. Best friends?

Oh gosh. :3 Off the top of my head @destan-of-the-shadows and @faes-hiding-place :D my boyfriend counts too! Two RL friends I can meet with at times are more friends than “best” friends but I still count them as my friends because we’ve been friends since like 5th or 6th Grade in Middle School when we were all like 11 or 12 years old. :D I’m 22 now so see how long we’ve been friends. :D

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?

NO drugs! The only thing that counts as alcohol is that couple sips of champagne at my cousin’s wedding when the servers mistakenly forgot to give us kids sparkling apple cider instead of champagne. Oops. XD We of course took great advantage of sipping as much as we could before they removed it. ;D It tasted HORRIBLE though. X_X What’s the appeal? IDK!

I drank some sips of other people’s drinks when I turned 21 but I absolutely HATE and CANNOT STAND the horribly bitter taste of alcohol (even in the sweetest mixed drinks it is strong and proud there when nobody else can taste it). Even if it’s burned off when used in a cheese fondue, that HORRIBLE bitterness remains. Bitter like the rotting corpse of a dying animal.

No thank you. I don’t ever want to drink again. X_X

9. What’s your dream job?

…. :,,,( I’ve not thought about this in ages… since I had to give up a lot of my “dream jobs” and “dream life” in order to make peace with the chronically ill life I have now. The grieving process was hard.

Goodbye my aspirations of being a geneticist, a psychologist, or even a therapist. Hello my life goals of being a professional artist and published author. :3

13. Height? 

5'10". 5 feet, 10 inches. -w- … I really wish I was taller than my dad though. *grumble* He’s 6 feet. At least I’m an inch taller than my MOM. -^-

18. Obsession? 

Oh dear. Which one? XD Take your pick. ;D I have: dragons, wings, flight, flying, cats/felines, biology, psychology, discussing the universe, astrology, culture, world-building, magic, art (as in drawing and coloring), writing, daydreaming, reading, listening to music, and cuddling with my boyfriend in a literal Netflix and chill. -w-

19. If you had one wish, what would it be?

…. *blinks and sighs* … It’d either be to be healthy again so I wouldn’t have this chronic illness (but would still keep my being deaf and hard of hearing because I LIKE THAT PART)… or to go back home, to my home world where my soul came from.

Yeah. XP

21. Kiss or hug? 

Hug. :3 Preferably cuddle. :D  

22. Nicknames people call you?

Indi-bindy-bo (You know who you are <.<), Indi-bindy, Indi… IDK about the rest. o.o They have to specifically say it to my face IRL after all. D:

23. Favorite song?

OH GEEZE. Hard to answer! XD … My favorite song of ALL time that I will ALWAYS love, have always loved, and might as well be my theme song for the sake of it? xD “Can’t Take Me (I’m Free!)” by Bryon Adams, from the Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron movie. xD

24. Favorite band?

My favorite singer is Michael Jackson. :3 He’s the only one I really know a lot about. All other bands and singers I just like some of their songs but know nothing about them as people, not even what they LOOK like a lot of times. -////- I prefer to respect their privacy. :)

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?

Oh… Oh GOSH. IDK… XD … :3 Meeting my boyfriend, @destan-of-the-shadows and @faes-hiding-place :3

27. Something you would change about yourself?

See my wish above. -.- I’d LOVE to change that chronic illness of myself. … If I can’t then my persistent anxiety, or to somehow grow wings (like this third would be more likely than the other two? XD Hell, I can still ask! XD)

30. Watch the movie or read the book?

I’d rather read the book. :3 Unless the book is so horrible, that I wanna see why people think it’s so horrible, then I watch the movie because they usually try to tone things like that down. If the movie is horrible in many of the ways that I’ve heard criticism of the book itself… then I know never to touch that book. E^E 

32. Favorite show? 

Of all time? Avatar: The Last Airbender, Gargoyles, and Seconds from Disaster. >:D

Right now? XD Air Disasters. -w-

35. Do you wish you could ever start over?

Start what over? This life? Blegh. Don’t make me go through puberty TWICE!

… *looks at the side effects of taking testosterone HRT* Oh wait, I’m already doing that! -p-

… Make that don’t make me go through it a THIRD time. xD Even if that means I’d be able to be in a male body from day one, as opposed to having to be trans. XP

36. Any bad habits?

Which one do you wanna know? -x- Anxiety, hyper-focusing on a thing in my mind and then having the mind get stuck and not concentrate on anything else until I yank it off that… Staying quiet about things that affect me because I don’t want to hurt others or be a burden? Often opting to be quiet instead of confronting things that could make the relationship better in the long run? Being intensely private? Judging the strength of my relationships based on how much of my inner self I truly share? Doing subtle tests as I get to know someone to see which subject is “safe” to talk about and which I should just shut up about without them ever knowing? Over-thinking things a ton? Apparently my not needing to talk to others for a while is a weird-ass thing? … I can go on. -x-

Oh wait, were you asking about like little quirks like twirling hair or picking at the skin kinda bad habits? My apologies. -x-;;

37. Ever had a near death experience?

Yes. Waking up to being strangled by a spirit counts as that.

No, I’ve had an occasion of sleep paralysis before. I know what that feels like. You can’t move anything.

This was where I CAN move. I could move my hands and arms and everything else. It’s just something invisible and mostly intangible was strangling the life out my throat. Not from the inside choking, because I know what that feels like too. (My Life…) but from the outside suffocation and pressure and constriction on the outside of my neck.

Being strangled to near death in my spirit form by another spirit meant my physical body could feel that too, panicked the FUCK OUT at the feel of almost dying, and I literally felt my awareness fading away into a black nothingness with the faint but faltering heartbeats starting to skip and take longer and longer between each beat. Gasping and choking and then going still…

Thankfully helpful spirits got the negative one off and thoroughly destroyed it. They could heal my spirit form and with that healed, my body was able to come back too.

Never want to do that EVER. AGAIN. *shuddering* Those spirit attacks over the course of those three years were HELL on Earth. *holds self tight* 

38. Someone you can tell anything to?

My boyfriend. I’m still working on being more honest with my two close friends @destan-of-the-shadows and @faes-hiding-place but I’ve made a lot of progress over the years thankfully. :3

41. Someone you hate/dislike?

Try that woman I mentioned far above that I hate.

As for actively dislike? Trumperdink. Bigoted assholes. TRUSCUM, TERFS, SWERFS, rapists, rape-apologists, racists, ableist assholes, murderers, serial killers, homophobes, aphobes, transphobes, and all the rest of that shit. I really dislike and don’t trust the police force in this country. And the vast majority of politicians too.

My country is a dystopian nightmare the tyrannical capitalist US of A. x.= Save me.

42. Are you okay?

Umm…Today was a bit hellish. I survived though. *grins a bit too widely and eyetwtiches* My life is just…………. very…… VERY………. interesting. *twitch*

… I still stand by my previous opinion of laughing my ass off at the utter ridiculousness of how people try to portray those “superhero teenagers” as somehow balancing a “regular life” with “crime fighting on the side with a secret identity” and somehow NOT having the crime fighting life interfere with their regular life outside of those “special two episodes.”

Yeah the fuck right.

Obviously written by those who have NO idea what balancing two different lives are like. X_X In my case it’s nothing so noble as a superhero identity, but it’s the difference of my spirit life and physical life.

And above, in my near-death-experiences… you saw just ONE of the many manifestations of that clash. -x- …Not. ….Fun.

I high-key DO NOT RECOMMEND. -x-

Most days these days (since the spirit attacks ended WHOOT WHOOT!) I can have a normal calm life. Then SOMETHING comes up and I’m like “what the shit-fuck is my entire existence right now??”

Yeah. -x-

… Can I have a hug? ;;;n;;;