#and i rly do not think its her fault at all bc i trained her so i know shes not like an airhead or smth

[rat-tomago]

i think i would rather eat glass garnished with rat poison than go 2 work 2day

[hermitw]

I want to make a list of my JJK theories and opinions so we got (part 1 bc I know I'll have / remember more later).

-let gege cook, everyone will be fine, chill tf out (I have rambled about this in other posts so I'll just leave it at that here)

-Toji and Geto's worm is like banana fish (the drug from banana fish that makes someone delusional, easily suggestible, and violent until they self destruct. Geto lasted a lot longer than Toji under its influence bc he had his rituals of meditations, affirmations, and strong ethics. His cursed energy would have also fed the worm, though it had been trained to feed off of the soul when it was with toji). It eats away at their souls/BRAIN so Kenjaku can get into a new skull will little resistance. Remember when Geto was unconscious and Toji said the thing about monkeys? Then Geto kept repeating that kind of thing (but he never rly acted like he believed that. He was just trying to keep his daughters and innocent youth safe from becoming skapegoats like Rika was. He saw that the cult and the village would repeat their cycles and more would be hurt in the future. He couldn't redeem those adults so he killed them.) I go into this theory a good bit in my longest/first jjk fanfic, and I AM DYING for gege to confirm this. I also ofc think that Kenjaku set up the worm and Toji to find each other. Maybe by throwing it into the zenin curse pit.

-kenjaku hit Rika with his car, or at least manipulated someone else into doing it (which seems to be the theme here, the way he made geto and yuta fight, for example. It's suspicious that Yuta and Yuuji were both from Sendai. I'm sure that he was keeping an eye on them both. We see nanako and mimiko at yuuji's school in that one manga panel in the beginning.

-the prison realm can be used for time travel (since Gojo first got sealed I was expecting him to break out. And then I was expecting him to be so understimulated in there that he'd figure out how to warp time. Dude can already warp space, what's the difference?) and Hakari even suggested using the prison realm for time travel so EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE they just have to go as far as they can without using it first so they can learn what to do the next time, yeah? I also had a dream about this and Gojo told me that Sukuna didn't feel the time loop, but the rest of us knew it was our second time (at least) going back and trying to defeat him. Which doesn't mean that I'm right but it was nice ok 😭

Theories that have been proven right or wrong by now

-I've been saying from the beginning that Yuuji and Sukuna share a common ancestor and that's why he can be a vessel. I was right!! But I didn't know he was also born with a fingie

-sukuna has six eyes (this has since been disproven but I used to think so)

-the way that RCT works between two people

CHAPTER 261 SPOILERS ON THIS NEXT ONE but I hope ur caught up by now.

-yuta should use as many techniques as possible in Gojo's body bc when Gojo returns to it, then he will be able to learn them as well. Kenjaku was able to retain techniques from his previous bodies, so even if all he transfers is the copy technique, that's fkn useful too.

-there is no chemistry between Yuki and Choso. That concept feels fucking forced and gives me the ick so hard.

-yuki is a terrible influence. She has good intentions, but she isn't present enough to be helpful - showing up in shibuya after Mahito was absorbed, for example. Not keeping in touch with the sorcerers who were involved in that. Not to mention the shit with Geto. She started the whole "what kind of woman is your type" thing and it's her fault that todo beats people nearly to death for giving an answer that doesn't match his own stupid taste (it took several watches for me to forgive todo for beating up megumi tbh)

-todo is also Kenjaku's son, and possibly Yuki - tho yuki is more vibes than evidence. All of Kenjaku's confirmed kids have a strong resolve, and false memories with Yuuji. But I think that kenjaku, in a male body, would be a total slut. His motivation for anything is that maybe it'll be interesting, or funny, he's just here for a good time. I think that he wouldn't even know how many kids he has, and that by having an unknown number possibly out there, it would bring up unexpected sorcerers. The frame where kenjaku asks why don't you heal yourself and yuki says I don't want to... That feels confirmed for me but I know it isn't solid evidence.

-I think kenjaku set up yuki to meet todo bc that feels too sus as well but I forget my logic on that one lmaoooo everything is their fault tho

[strawberryseeded]

ITADORI YUJI MYSTERIES AS OF NOW

number 1: why is he so crazy even BEFORE becoming a jujutsu sorcerer

it seems like he had a normal and happy upbringing, he never even met his real parents or had any contact w the sorcery world before the events in the series (his own birth doesnt count) so WHY IS HE LIKE THIS T-T

im so serious. he is UNHINGED. its like his survival instinct kicks in a million years later than normal. stubborn and sturdy almost to a fault, both physically and mentally, always running towards danger unprepared, getting seriously hurt, and getting back up again. like yea ok todo picked him up during his fight w mahito but, dude, itadori has died TWICE in the series till now n hes still going, his will stronger than ever before (ya know wat they say tho, 3rd times the charm am i right hahah*WRECKS THE ROOM*)

i mean even gojo says hes not ok in the head in like chapter 5 (FIVE!!!!!!!!!)

tbh this is the question that bothers me the most but its also prob the one that will never be answered...man..

number 2: did he fucking eat his sibilings.....(spoilers: wrong question)

......who are not rly people i guess..or human.... they are curse/human hybrids which were never truly "born" so they are uh...wombs..or fetuses or smt like dat...mmh yeah knowing this doesnt make it sound less horrifying..

at first i thought he had eaten sukunas last "missing" finger cos he looked so disgusted while saying so (yay sukuita hatred is mutual💕👰🤵)..also hes eaten like 15 of those things till now, so yanno its our daily bread for him..

but then hes talking 2 choso abt this n its like..dude...... dude what do you mean living as a part of you..

long story short: YES HE DID HE ATE THESE FREAKIGN THINGS:

& obviously since hes itadori yuji they didnt take over n instead he got their powers and techniques. i think thats where he got his cool new armor that kinda looks like tough flesh.

and apparently he can manipulate his own blood also, which again i think its the result of eating the death paintings. he made it explode in sukunas face lol but idk if he can do other things w it maybe i missed smt.

he learned to use the technique super fast too BUT thats probably due to the "cheating" yuta metions when sukuna asks how the fuck did they power up so fast. i saw a yt video theorizing this was maybe due to training done in a simple domain that compresses time (like when maki trained w the sumo guy)...idk dude..

(btw i think so, so often abt how gojo theorized that itadori maybe could use sukunas technique/s since itadori was borrowing his cursed power….i wonder if he never could do it cos sukuna was so freaking uncooperative until the bitter end aka their soul divorce lol.. bc clearly itadori is capable of learning techniques that are not his own..idk idkkkk just sayin….wondering…)

OH YEA i almost 4got cos i just made another post abt it but he can also use the fucking reverse curse technique as well. bro even gojo had trouble mastering that..like again yea they "cheated" but still wow.

number 3: this freaking dude can touch souls now

ok we kinda knew this already from mahito and itadori's 1st fight but..this scene:

they switched bodies!!!!!!!......????? i think???!! and i cant think of other reason except an "exchange of souls" bc in jjks world sukunas soul habiting itadoris or megumis body, or the death paintings taking over human bodies are possible ways in which a soul can get inside another body. whats more, mahitos or nobaras techniques can directly affect the soul so this shud totally be possible.

& it looks like itadori in particular can affect others' soul with precision.

the question is How the hell..... bc as far as we know no one else has this power amongst the surviving sorcerers (i want her (nobara) back so bad rn....)

IT COULD BE that book choso got from yuki that contained all of her research abt the soul..still, itadori is the only one whos shown to be able to actually be able to do this so accurately. sukuna is the one who confirms it:

yea idk dude itadori yuji is an absolute beast..im so weirded out when i see ppl underestimate him n caling him an npc, dumb, etc, lol ToT he is such a good character it drives me insanies ..i didnt even touch on his thematic weight in the series (bc OF COURSE, as the main character, he is key in this. his beliefs are core to his character and directly opposes sukunas, in spite of the asshole always laughing in his face about ..just kidding its obviously BECAUSE he is so different from itadori that he just doesnt get it n simply disregards him as a powerless idiot..i mean we r talking abt the guy who valued power so much he casted away everything else, even his own humanityaaaAAAH ok ill shut up nowwww)

[only-lonely-lovers]

09.28.2022

tags: objectification, denial, edging, blowjobs

notes: mostly the 1 thought train... but then small random 3way cumrot at the end :B

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：god i know before falling asleep one of the times my brain was very like. woo blowjob, amane, condescending dirty talk, and i feel like it was more successful at generating the content than usual, but i remember. none of it not a phrase remaining in my little pea….. a liminal state

at most i remember…. eeouuh. ah sickness. amane letting tsukasa clean it off after nene's finished him, but mid-way in the cleaning another jolt drips out, and he's very like, oh lucky you, about it

あ：oh like sigh… some crumbs for you.

つ：know you'll like it, appreciate it. tsukasa responding as if he's gotta focus to not let it drip out of his mouth. must keep keep safe. have. gift present

あ：will whine if anything spills out. uouhhh.

つ：and Amane being gross about it all… uuuuruhg like to think about him gratuitously sighing way too indulgent

あ：[reclines]

つ：with Tsukasa there is a new degree of, meanness…. ig its, different, from like eyepri bc of how his desperation is a part of it.

あ：Ah with eyepri its kind of like mindbreaking a girl with an iron will…. really wrestling something into submission and overcoming years of trauma. but with tsukasa he literally is so open and willing, completely forward about his adoration…

There is.. 'no good reason' to string Tsukasa along… just because you can Amane could have normal interactions w Tsukasa if he so desired. but he's a sick fuck. but like, their rship could be 100% platonic and thatd be fine. Amane's fault it is not. etc.

つ：tsukasa is not the deranged sex guy

it's a novel mood ig >> to think about like, Amane messing with him…. resist coming in Tsukasa's mouth for a long time sortof run (only let him at it when you're past it and don't let him continue long enough to get going again)… finally do it but like, require him to hold mouth open and let it drip out down his tongue. just like, lol…. but in this circumstance you just hope Nene will snowball with Tsukasa

あ：Mmh it is novel… I was actually thinking of an Amane who has not ever let Tsukasa put mouf on it, like a Tsukasa who… has maybe at best only tasted it indirectly, eating out Nene after she has been finished in…. this kinda sitch, but Amane carelessly swiping pre off with a finger and sticking it into Tsukasa's mouth. Feeling exTREMEly charitable from his POV. (edited) if i think about how shitty he could be. it's very shitty

but it sucks how much Amane would enjoy just watching the girlies enjoy his come, together. like sigh that's right.. i enjoy, the big show.

つ：starving little animals mm..

yeah, I like Amane really keeping Tsukasa at a distance, at first for a stupid protective reason, but eventually its just its own… fetish.

あ：The motivation at first WAS just like, protecting self and being unable to permit getting that far with Tsukasa in a way he never did in the past etc etc…. but there's a point where you like how *pant, pant* Tsukasa is. though i feel like Nene witnessing it like THIS rly gets frustrated for poor Tsukasa

____________________

つ：oh yeah……………….. i guess my mental state. before bed lately. is really just . fsr. amane catering dirty talk to tsukasa. but in the amane way. i… have no control over this

i remember a little more of it than last time. but its like im always fighting how its on the crux of falling asleep it feels like they get vaulted so quickly. leave me. but for a moment its so like mmmrmgh….

あ：oh to massage her brain into giving me it… mlem

OH but you know this reminds me, i've had the weirdest… like.. thought that's been trying to crystalize for days… it feels like a cloud but a cloud that really wants to form. it's so… weird though hm.

つ：we will try to think together….

あ：rub our heads together

つ：my thoughts feel so simple…. syuuure.

its very basic like…. Amane feeding his ego teasing Tsukasa, if Nene's not around for the moment. Condescending, you just like me the best, I'm your favorite lol…. of course… you'd do anything I asked, wouldn't you….

あ：It's... so easy to imagine Amane wanting to target Tsukasa in this way... Just gets off on asserting the facts too, like, relishes in the truth. Mmm.... I'm your favorite...

つ：but… being. mean even… amused watching tsukasa hypnotized (but well-behaved) sitting on knees in front of him. jerking off languidly. but clasping palm over self when coming and just like flicking it off his hand onto the floor unceremoniously. lol. sorry did you want that

if he even begins to compulsively run at it its like ohp. grabs by the hair

あ：[clucks tongue]

つ：baiting him for so long with come. again something that started off as some sort of complex, feeling weird about it, but. now it's. something else. now its become like, just really enjoying being mean in any creative way with it. holding tsukasa in place to jerk off, but pulling up to come against his own jacket, then just poof it away. like ah gross, a mess….

but it's sortof a longcon. you'd like to …. mindbreak TSUKASA into outright begging for it. wouldn't that be easier

the desire to hear onegai from him, but the struggle to request it directly so tastelessly….

あ：Trying to reduce Tsukasa to a dog salivating heavily while staring at something. Ugh the tastelessness of it.. but I do also like how, like pathetic it is in its own way, reaching a point of fetishizing your difficulty. That's kind of submitting to something lol despite your best attempts to act above this all….

I think he could reach a point though of just outright being like, Geez Tsukasa this is getting sad to watch…

つ：ahhh you just want anything if it's from meeee huh…..

あ：You don't look so well. Can you really handle this.

つ：[amane's brain rotting] [pulls tsukasa's jaw over] mmmm…. [drools over] [will he really seek to catch it lol….]

あ：bark like a dog lol…. emotional spectrum asshole sucks drool back in 💭 oh if only tsukasa could cry about it…………………………………. mh.

つ：experimenting with how mean you can get. if he really will cry eventually. something so… peak heinous about getting to some final ideal stage of tsukasa sniffling and hiccuping and you going mmmyuuu ouuhhh shhh shhh if you want it so bad, okay…. [gently places cock against lips]

あ：It's really your older brother being shitty and twisting your arm until you cry. because he wants an excuse to pet you

つ：make this about you not me. you just want it so badly...

あ：poor thing…. really making me feel just sooo bad for you…

i know tsukasa can endure many things but i think being faked out a bunch is a unique kind of weardown method that amane hasnt like. done before i think its embarrassing to get like. excited. like why'd i think…

つ：he wouldn't even think so hard about getting to swallow in such a way, but he's literally being conditioned…… so much build up its always like [ears perk] THIS TIME?! if you weren't making a case out of it, he wouldn't even be thinking so hard….

あ：but then it doesnt happen and its like. right of course. uahhh……

つ：but amane MAKES it into a-- WHINE not getting, treat….

あ：i dont think he understands how much it is like targetted torment. just sitting there like. i should be grateful to just get to look at it [pupils dilate] being forced to conceptualize the treat i mean if you faked out kissing tsukasa for days i think itd belike ._.

つ：he would be a little mess!!! you'll also create a dynamic where he's staring at yashiro swallowing. and becoming quiet for it. and yet amane will just feel like… heh

あ：we make eye contact during this ohh do you want something…

つ：why are you trying to invent jealousy in tsukasa. you dont even want that but it in some way makes his life easier to give tsukasa a complex instead of himself having one

あ：i dont want to be alone here. stop being so gracious and accepting have less fun how about. i would like it to hurt you too.

つ：yes master

あ：god. that's what it's like. not as exuberant during things. more 1000 yard stare and distracted. the thought of nene being like ?

つ：nene is fully fooled into thinking tsukasa is simply cockthristy and thats that

あ：i dont think you can help him though girl its just like a mystery. yeah

つ：its just like wow he really likes to look at it….. it also just sorta makes her horny as she swallows being stared at. she cant think straight about this all. sorry, tsukasa….

but sadly, I want Amane to get what he wants, and to get Tsukasa pleading…. quietly, at first…. like he's literally not used to asking for anything? not used to the word or how to express it just looking desperate for a while making small noise, and amane like hmmmm~? something to saaaaay~?

あ：[finger to ear] [leans in]

つ：I think finally getting jackpot, is, overwhelming in the way of-- suddenly its like-- mmgmgnhhh [in candy shop] what --position do i wanna-- what angle-- give to tsukasa, it, what-- do i wanna-- be standing-- or, laying, or sitting or above him

ohh what will be hottest what will really convey all my power and control

あ：TOO excited honestly...

つ：laying down languidly and making him do all the work...... or shoving him against the wall or floor to do it down his throat.... or jerking off holding his mouth open.....

あ：but i think it just makes him so horny to hear. ahh finally the more miserable the better my PATHETIC LITTLE BROTHER….

つ：confused and miserable sounding pleading… please… Amane….. please…. euh, please? please…

あ：I think languid has the appeal of getting to log the desperation… like, you get the position of being an observer and every gesture is tsukasa's own

in a case like this, i think it has appeal… like oh i want to see YOU be thirsty <3 it's just another day for me Offering something to a poor beggar. well, go ahead.

つ：all the efforts make Tsukasa really flinchy and like you're gonna take his food bowl away

petting him like ahhh I'll do it, I'll do it, I promise…. don't worry….. you'll get it….. this time……………. [really doing the extremely loud airhorn back and forth in brain though]

[mmm but god it would feel so good to be so mean] [no. i said…. i have to be good big brother….] [he did what i wanted… he is being good…. …. mmmmmbut] [maybe a fake out…… but then giving it to him? mm….]

あ：it's hard being a sadist and doing anything with tsukasa. like telling self 'that's enough messing with him for now lol…' but then also the devil on your shoulder is like. mhghhh but what if he started to really cry. [tongue lolling]

I think what would really sting is being like… Ah, actually, Tsukasa, this is really tepid… Kinda feels like you're not even into it. Hm…. [starts to push off]

I thought you'd be more excited Well, you did your best. You can go back to watching :p

つ：WAILS fighting against palm like a cat trying to get food on plate

あ：you love to see it i imagine its so. NO OGHMHGH I CAN DO IT

つ：AMA--neee I ca--- I CAN-- do it-- I c. I can I CAN !! Or, or if, [getting a thousand yard stare] if I never can do it right…………………………. ………..[losing voice] ….. anyway….. have it anyway …… ? [feeling foolish] paws at pants over thighs…. will it feel bad if it goes in me………………………………………

あ："have it anyway"…….. [acting contemplative like hmm. but cartoonishly keeping a hand on tsukasa's face and pushing him off] wow though for a moment just being like [internally] awww what. okay maybe overdoing it

つ：tsukasa is too ignorant about BJ science….. there must be a reason it doesnt go in me, he thinks…

あ：[thinking about sad little dot eyes tsukasas]

つ：will it feel bad if I do it wrong ............................

あ：BUT i think its finally like okay. SHOVES. holds head with both hands. comes down your throat amane got everything he wanted really saw the most pathetic tsukasa

つ：despite it all, it is satisfying. comes. buckets

あ：excessive. eughh really leaps to the most extreme…

つ：I was just kidding, Tsukasa…….. it's too easy to tease you. pet pet. you do it all well, of course…. pet pet…..

あ：lots of shushing and petting… ruffle hair, reach down and stroke nape. as a kindness also lets cock rest in mouth for an extended period of time. that would be… like nice… especially if it's not really something you see happen to nene… just one of those "thats not rly what we do here" things mouth swaddle

つ：let him keep sucklin at it and mouthing it.....

あ：cup cheeks… roll up into face casually

つ：somehow its a cute pose, if amane is sitting upright and tsukasa is on his tummy, but its just amane petting and placing palms on tsukasa's back maybe have a luxurious time….. come again in a while. m.

あ：Ya I like on belly for Tsukasa here esp… it's got it's own unique submissive flavor so low… to the ground…

All this build up really means that I think Amane kind of got to subvert a lot of his own hangups rly… so it allows all the doting after… Suppose it is like a toukan koukan. in THIS context I can praise you and pet you lots like aw see…. 's gooood…..

つ：it was a good thing. it did work all in his favor. Tsukasa just wrapping his arms around Amane's middle…..

the next day you also get to show your new trick to nene. lol then SHE can be blowing you and you can go mmnnh--tt, wait, yashiro…. ah…. let's give Tsukasa the prize this time, eh?

let nene watch you nut in seemingly effortlessly and without a care and feel like. SHOCK!?!? TSUKASA-KUN WAS NEVER ALLOWED IT BEFORE…..1!!!

あ：Like oh this nbd….

つ：he looks so blissful…!!!! hugging him. Tsukasa-kun….!!!

あ：her eyes are like gonna bug out WHERE AM I….

つ：pets him. Tsukasa-kun is here too…….!! crying. he's an equal citizen….

あ：(he. is not.)

____________________

あ：Somehow sex really jumpstarted me to think about Hanako proposing to Nene at the start of sex, like, if you want Tsukasa to suck me off then YOU move his head onto it [points down at cock]

and… in general forcing her to be a more active catalyst, like, if you want Tsukasa involved, then own up to being so horny about it. Take his hand and put it on my cock. & just point blank instructing Tsukasa to grab Nene and ease her onto cock directly… basically having it so each of them has to move the other "over" it and direct it. Tsukasa with his hands around Nene's middle pushing her on and off of Hanako… and, Hanako furthering it by saying, like, "Go ahead Yashiro. Describe how good it feels. Look Tsukasa in the eye." [reaches down and lifts her chin] Forcing her to do this while being plowed…

another instance of like, Hanako feeling "better" if it gets "equalized".. if Yashiro pays the toll of being overwhelmed and distraught by her own desires and reduced to take "credit" for them

… but.. also it's fun for a girl to feel so directed… it IS hot… and also nene has to have resolve like…. BUT I MUST… FOR TSUKASA-KUN!!!

つ：she's like, I have been handed great power…. actually… I… will make Hanako-kun rue the day

あ：If you become strong enough… He has essentially handed you a dagger You just need to endure the initial difficulty The gauntlet will be, that he is being very mean and condescending

つ：i think Nene will be much more of a whore than he's ready for, directing tsukasa… i think she has no middle slider… he'll enjoy it when she's shakey handed and dealing with the weight of things, like thats right, fucking sympathize with me here its not easy its a lot….. but once she gets over the hurdle and is : i decide when the fruit will fall. its. hanako suddenly on mrs bones wild ride

あ：the wild ride! constructed it myself

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[brvdleysaved]

ok first off b4 i say anythin else dnt...... judge bradley’s blog rn i dnt get my laptop bk until wednesday so i am? stranded in a photoshopless land. it’s very tragic. anyway. and scene! je suis... nai oh me..... bk again w probably my fav muse of all time so let us! leap right in! p.s. her pinterest is here

CIS FEMALE — ever hear people say BRADLEY MILLIGAN looks a lot like MARGARET QUALLEY? I think SHE is about 24, so it doesn’t really work. The PSYCHOLOGY major is a SENIOR that is from QUEENS, NY. They can be +ADVENTUROUS, but they can also be -ABRASIVE. I think BRADLEY might be SHEEP. They are living in OFF CAMPUS BUT AFFILIATED WITH BALTA. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/her. )

the kind of sour cherry only certain people have a taste for

once drank a bottle of spiced rum, insisted she could still do a cartwheel and accidentally kicked an old man’s front tooth out in the process. proceeded 2 collapse into a flower bed and laugh so much abt it that she cried

barely takes anything seriously 50% of the time and is angry the other 50%

if she was a coffee she’d be black with five grains of sugar that you couldn’t taste until the last sip

father runs a gang n strip club in queens called ‘no angels’ tht fronts an affluent drug trade, primarily coke. his name is tony milligan n his gang is p infamous around there fr being jst like…. completely cutthroat n awful. they were nicknamed ‘tony’s rottweilers’ by locals bc he bsically has all of these trained dogs on leash at his command n they’re still a growing organisation tday

he’s pretty much the worst human being alive n bradley hs like….. a lot of issues with herself as a result of years of toxicity n abuse

in terms of more family bkground info her mum’s name was alyssa n she vanished when bradley was 12. jst like…. into thin air. nothing. no note. zilch. gan! n when bradley asked her dad abt it his response was essentially “guess she didn’t love us enough to stay”. as bradley’s got older tho n become (without intention) more involved in the business side of things, it’s become pretty clear there was far more to the story. they had a horrible marriage n tony ws quite violent at the best of times, which didn’t help the fact tht alyssa ws struggling a lot w severe depression n rly just… not in the mindset to b dealing w anything else on top of tht, even where motherhood ws concerned. bradley p much… would look after her a lot n they’d both b scared of her dad n it was just a whole mess. anyway im rambling bt basically tony (bradley’s dad) gt wind of alyssa sleeping w men tht worked fr him n he just… got rid. bradley’s kind of worked out over the yrs tht her mum didn’t jst leave on her own accord n tht something must hav happened to her bt she’s too scared of her dad to ever directly accuse him

when her mum went all of her dad’s cruelty pretty mch got channelled straight onto her. it ws diluted between two before bt as u can probably imagine her upbringing was jst…. a steep downhill decline frm tht point onwards

she learnt ways 2 deal w the incurring trauma bt they weren’t healthy ones at all! bsically jst. will do or take anything fr the distraction. chases a thrill like it’s the only way to remind her she’s alive. has absolutely no regard fr her own wellbeing n sometimes gets other ppl in trouble too bc she’s so insatiably reckless

high functioning alcoholic. if u ever see her w a coffee cup u jst kno tht one sniff will confirm high alcohol percentage. honestly idk hw she does it her liver must b yellin

she hd….2 separate stints of psychiatric hospitalisation n she never tlks abt it. like ever. acknowledging she’s been vulnerable is her worst nightmare n bc of the way her dad raised her she always thinks any sign of struggling within herself is weakness. truly does…. not kno how to properly emotion

honestly. im probably missing a million things bc i kind of feel like a microwaved shrimp as i write this bt. basically her life is jst the worst a true… abomination! bc im evil like tht sometimes

loyal to a point of fault. if she cares abt u and u murder a man in cold blood she’ll brawl anyone that says ur guilty

honestly wld probably fight a person over anything. sometimes she’ll jst be having a bad day n she’ll burst n take it out on whoever says the wrong thing. a minefield!

has the worst luck in romance…. ever. the majority of her past bfs hav been absolute beasts n as a result she kind of has the ‘romance is dead n love is a lie’ mentality

speakin of which i feel like she’s bi bt wldnt have dated a girl or anythin. like guys r probably…. her preference just bc historically theyv treated her worse n she hs a very self destructive personality like that. sexy!

dresses like courtney love, 2014 sky ferreira and a character from this is england had a baby. mostly wears stolen clothes from strangers and jackets that swamp her. hair is p much always a wild mess n she usually hd kind of smudgy/smoky makeup bcos apparently she’s allergic to combs and generally looking presentable… relatable content

personality wise she’s v sarcastic. sometimes blunt. kind of has a habit of…. assessing a person n she’s quite perceptive bc she’s been trained to b by the way she always has to monitor her dad’s expression fr the slightest emotion change. she’s quite confident n can p much mke a conversation out of whatever. sort of independent too like she hs a bunch of friends bt she doesn’t care abt going out places alone if she’s in a certain mood n jst wants…… to get into chaos. she’s probably kind of known around campus/town bt itd b a 50/50 balance between bein known as intimidating n bein known as that one girl tht always gets into anarchy

likes: fishnets, stealing cars, water guns and whiskey

dislikes: amy schumer, honesty, yellow tulips and going home

in terms of Plots

hm. mayb someone tht knows her frm home/queens??? like tht frequents no angels (her dad’s strip club) or picks up frm there or smthn

i feel like she probably deals coke bt its like. Select Dealing. like she doesn’t need....2 do it fr income or anythin she jst. gets bored n is like cool may as well mke some money n possibly get robbed ig! anythin fr the thrill! 

anyone..... shes brawled in the past like. she’s literally a menace i cnt express this enough. wil jst randomly throw a drink in someone’s face fr no reason bc she’s bored. she’s probably pissed off 1000 diff ppl in 1000 diff ways. the possibilities r endless n i jst think tht’s a sexy prospect!

fwbs perhaps??? exes??? (probably ws a tumultuous relationship wtever.... ur muse is like like bradley is. a handful)

mayb someone tht she met at an aa meeting when she hd to go fr a court mandated thing one time after bein arrested fr public indecency. i feel like there’s probably a rly expensive statue somewhere thts fancily Sculpted n she like. did a flying kick n kicked the dick of it off n gt arrested fr it

ppl she....... Goes Wild Goes Crazy w. truly jst the most self destructive person alive so anyone w a similar mindset wld b a hellish bt fun combination

on the contrary a gd influence cld b nice perhaps? like someone tht genuinely cares abt her n she jst doesn’t kno hw to compute it

um. honestly the world’s our oyster. hmu n we cn brainstorm if none of tht catches ur eye!

[olliebax]

hello hello its me bee, bringing you my Trash Daughter !!!! ngl .... it has been Ages since i’ve played an oc but ik this rp is really lovely and accepting when it comes to ocs so !! i’m giving it a spin bear with me while i figure her out 

PHILIPPINE STINDEL —— Well, if it isn’t OLIVIA BAXTER, the RAVENCLAW superstar. For those of you who don’t know HER, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re CREATIVE and FACETIOUS, but they can also seem pretty CYNICAL and AIMLESS. Sometimes people call them the LAYABOUT. Sure, they’re a HALFBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them. 

pinterest !! 

first off, nobody calls her olivia except for her mother. ollie, bax, and baxter are all pretty common nicknames

ollie grew up without a lot of money -- she was born to a muggle mother who worked at the local grocery store and a wizard father who bailed on them when ollie was six 

she and her mother don’t get along very well --- ollie absolutely adored her father when she was little and when he left, she blamed her mother

it didn’t help that her mother was hardly ever home, always working nights and overtime shifts to provide for her family now that she was the only one doing so

of course, now ollie understands it isn’t her mother’s fault, but there’s still a rift between them that can’t easily be fixed

she grew up roughhousing with the neighbourhood boys, sneaking cigarettes in the mcdonalds parking lot and skinning her knees trying to skateboard

she went to a school full of kids like hers --- born to single parent working class families, with little ambition or regard for rules

the teachers were underpaid and overworked, and didn’t have high expectations for their students

so ollie never tried cause she never thought she’d be anything great. she skipped class to hang out down by the old train tracks (much to her mother’s chagrin) and mouthed off when she was there

ollie knew she was a witch --- she’d seen her father doing magic when she was young and although she longed to do that someday, it still kind of came as a surprise when her hogwarts letter came

it was so far from what her life had been so far, so out of the ordinary when she was as ordinary as they came 

it was an even bigger surprise when she was sorted into ravenclaw cause she’d never been the Smart Kid, and she didn’t understand why the hat thought ravenclaw would suit her

she was surrounded by kids who loved school and who’d always loved school and who strove to do well, and tbh she just didn’t want to compete with them so she never tried 

she’d rather not try than try and fail 

so you may be asking why is she sorted into ravenclaw?? WELL ya girl loves art

she doesn’t really think of it as a talent or a calling or anything like that because she doesn’t think it can be used for anything useful but she’s been drawing and sketching and painting ever since she was young

does little cartoons and doodles in class instead of taking notes

as for personality:

ollie is pretty aimless and apathetic most of the time bc she just never thought it would make a difference if she actually tried for once 

lives in the moment rather than thinking about the future

she can be pretty snarky sometimes but like never in a too mean spirited way

she’s v realistic and down to earth to a point where it’s almost cynical --- like she thinks her own talents for art are useless bc they won’t make her a lot of money

tells it like it is

stubborn as fuck 

doesn’t like change

not a lot of people realize this but she’s pretty empathetic ?? like she comes across as uncaring and blasé but she can also be really soft esp around kids 

wanted connections:

squad: idk people who also slack off and skip class and get high behind the greenhouses?? but also she’d genuinely be fond of these people & dead loyal to them

someone who’s trying to get her to shape up? idk lmao

a friend who actually isnt a fuck up and ollie’s rly protective over them and doesnt want to be a bad influence on them lol

enemies!!! people who just rub her the wrong way, or people who have an issue with her blood status, i dont care

a skinny love connection where they’ve been friends for ages and trust each other with everything and yknow pretend not to be jealous when the other gets a new partner? that pls

honestly anything idk we can brainstorm if none of these fit

just plot w me

[haeroniel-doliet]

gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now)  and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it. 

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now. 

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it.  i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so  i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess. 

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have  a ballet company idk. 

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could  be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love  a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents  and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim. 

[farisaki]

I found a design of an oc i made last year but i’ve never done anything with him so to make up for it he now has an almost complete story and also a villain he can fight

Under the cut there’s his backstory and also the villain’s one if you’re interested

His backstory is taken from the tweets I wrote yesterday night.

He discovered his psychic powers when he was like 6, they were rly weak, he could only lift very small objects for a few seconds, but he instantly got super excited about these powers and started think how he wanted to use them 

Being a 6 year old boy he thought he OBVIOUSLY had to challenge every psychic pokemon to become the greatest psychic pokemon of all time even though he isn't a pkmn at all This thought stuck with him even after he grew up    

Somehow he still wants to become the best psychic pkmn at the age of let's say 19 Maybe he should be older? Idk For now he's 19

After his 10th birthday he leaves home just like every other child in the pkmn universe He doesn't choose a pkmn tho bc he's a pkmn.  Also he'd rather have a psychic type or nothing at all So he just runs straight into the tall grass and starts his adventure

This boy gets in a lot of trouble because he's without a pokemon so has no way of making money or protect himself from wild pokemon

So he arrives at the first town already half dead But he doesn't give up! He start training not only his mind but also his body. He starts living in the wild, learning how to hunt for food etc Or at least he tries, he's not very good at it. He's often helped by trainers and/or pokemon who find him half dead in the middle of the forest or the city.

So after a while he thinks that yes, he can't do this all alone.

He needs to find a trainer who can guide and help him get better with his powers.

Also i like to think that he likes telling every person he meets that he's going to become the best psychic pkmn in the world and ppl always laugh at him, but not in a bad way bc "it's an impossible dream but this kid believes in it so hard that I'm rooting for him".  But then he grows up and people just look at him weird when he says that stuff He doesn't care about people's opinions tho

Idk how he's gonna find alakazam tho hhhh he probably arrives in a village where there's a legend about a super strong alakazam or something, and he manages to find it and imposes himself as its disciples.  This alakazam also has another student which is an abra so this boy can have a friend at least lmao

So he spends a lot of years on the mountains with this alakazam and abra, training everyday but he kinda forgets about civilization in the process He travels to cities just to buy some new clothes, covers, etc

I think this boy lives in kanto??? Idk where else to put him. He'd definitely want to defeat sabrina's pokemon

So when he's like 17-18 alakazam sends him and abra away bc they're now ready to travel across the region and defeat strong opponents

He buys those new clothes in a weird shop, he thinks they look cool even tho people look at him weird

And he just goes around psychic punching pokemon and getting psychic punched by them

I still don’t know much about the villain. For now I know that she’s a scientist who holds a grudge against the protag. 

In fact, back when the protag lived with alakazam, the woman’s father wanted to force the pokemon to work with him and use its psychic powers for his experiments. 

The protag, who was just a kid at the time, tried to defend his master and unleashed his powers to the max, which led to the villain’s dad and the assistants that had accompanied to be completely fucked up. So now the dad is in a wheelchair and can barely move himself. The protag doesn’t even remember this happening.

So for now the woman wants revenge for her dad and also wants to find a way to make him regain some mobility.

I’m still debating on whether at some point she admits that the protag is a totally good guy (bc she already knows deep down) and really did nothing wrong. He was just trying to protect a pokemon dear to him and her father was the one at fault. But she still hates him because he makes no sense at all and boy, he’s dumb as fuck.

[jiminspromise-remade]

I think you shouldn't go to the park. Idk it's clear they didn't bother to even ask you and are just going along. I wouldn't have done it because at least some self respect, don't care when they don't care about you

idk anymore i really dont. i keep thinking its my fault and that i brought this upon myself so i feel like i dont have the right to feel the way i am rn. so if anyone rly wants to know the full story with all the details, ill leave it under the cut bc im just really beating myself up over it now

ok, first off, so that things arent too confusing, i’ll be referring to everyone as letters. so i’m in a group chat with M and A, making it 3 of us in the group total. 

i dont remember who brought up what, but someone suggested we go to the mall amusement park and waterpark. and then A goes “i know someone i can buy tickets off for real cheap” and M says yeah buy it!!! and i go “oh wow amusement park. i dont rly like swimming though.” like i really dont remember explicitly letting them know that i want to go or anything, and then suddenly a few hrs later A tells the group chat “can u guys transfer the money soon” and i was like ummmmm excuse me? what? how much??? and A tells me its $40 for both water park and amusement park. and im like…. ok holy shit what the fuck…. i dont have money,, esp bc its december and christmas is coming so i’m buying gifts for people and its just im so stressed at this point because M and i agreed to split on A’s gift which is a polaroid and so i ask my older sister to buy it from work bc she gets a discount. more money problems rolls around bc it was my mom’s birthday earlier this month and my sister got her a fenti foundation and my mom only asked for ONE foundation brush and my sister goes off to buy a WHOLE SET that my mom wont even use so!!! i had to pay my sister back WAy more money that rly needed bc my family decided to pitch in to buy a little smth for my mom. i ended up paying my sister back $110 for the polaroid and my moms gift. putting more stress into my shitty financial situation, my family wanted to do a secret santa and someone suggested we have the MINIMUM price for a gift to be $50. liek  > ?? /???? min $50 ?????? like mind u im trying to find a job rn i really am but its hard to find one bc mnobody fucking likes uni students but anyways im literally going off in a tangent. back to the main point.

SO i tell A that im tight on money and idk if i can pay her back right away. i can tell she got frustrated w me because she already bought the tickets and i say im sorry but she tells me i can pay her back when i can so im like ok thanks but im not even gonna go swimming?? so A tells me i only have to pay her $20 which is fine but im rly that Broke Bitch so i tell her i’ll pay her in january. she says thats fine. this conversation took place on dec 8th. 

fast forward to dec 14, the day of my last exam. i go to the train station to catch a train to uni and i hear someone call my name. my friend E is sitting at the end of the waiting shed by the window. i end up taking the train with him since we go to the same uni. note that he’s also friends with M and A. anyways, on the train he asks me, “are you going on saturday?” and i ask him “saturday? when?” and he tells me”the 23rd?? we’re going to the mall” and im just standing there like “o what??? when was this decided??” and E tells me “idk lmao A just invited me” and i was like…. ooookay…… i asked the group chat with A and M multiple times before this when we were gonna go but i was never given an answer. nobody told me anything. so in that situation i just tell E that im probably going bc A already offered the tickets in the group chat so i guess im going?? right??? but later that day i start doubting myself. why couldnt they tell me that we were going on the 23rd?? they had time to contact E, who isnt even in the group chat, and i knew nothing. fast forward again to i think the next day, my sister brings home a box of chocolates shes selling as a fundraiser for the band trip. so as the good sister i am, i advertise her chocolate on snapchat. a friend that i met through M messages me (we’ll call her B), asking if she can buy some. and i say yeah u can!! and then i ask her when i can give it to her and she goes “on saturday? duh??” and im like… “oh…. saturday?? like amusement park saturday??” and she says “yeah ur going right??” and i tell her “um idk A and M never told me a date so i guess???” so now thats 2 people that they contacted outside of the group chat. i had to find out like some dumbass from E and B when the actual date would be. so now here we are to the present week, tomorrow being the actual day of the plans. i had to ask the group chat earlier this week “so we’re going to the mall on saturday??” and A goes “oh right yeah!!!! we are” and i was like,, oh. ok. 

and ever since jjong’s death, my emotional stress jst….built up even more and i began to overthink more and i began distancing myself even more than before and A and M felt that. i let them know abt my mental state and A says “yeah we noticed so we just gave u some space” like!! at LEAST let me kno ur giving me space!! bc this whole time i kept thinking that they dont wanna fucking talk to me bc im some dramatic bitch.

thts it. thanks for reading 

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

also i feel like rizzoli and isles does a really good job in representing men? which is shocking bc usually shows only know how to write hyper-masculine men

[read more bc its a LONG POST]

Like when Frost and Korsack make comments about Jane’s appearance, and they joke about her filing for work place harassment, the comments are like

Frost: “You look naked Jane. I can see your knees.”

Because Jane’s court outfit is a skirt, and she usually wears trousers.

Korsack: “I really do like your court outfit.”

But these comments aren’t them sexualising her. They’re just not blind. I mean Jane is hella atrractive, but they usually dont notice. They’re her friends, colleagues, who she’s worked with for years. They’re just joking. And she jokes along as well.

Or when they get a case, and they’re investigating, and there might be some footage they review of a club with a lot of women in skimpy dresses. And Frost and Korsack will joke that they’re glad to be working this case, and Jane will roll her eyes.

They incorporate that kind of “bro” banter, and the men’s sexuality, without being inappropriate or gross.

And the men get to be sensitive as well, and vulnerable.

For instance, we see the rage in the Lieutenant after he finds out it was Patty who killed his family 20 years ago. We see his pain.

We see a 60 year old male, breaking down and crying on the bathroom floor.

We see unbigoted men.

Despite all the problematic of the maura x jane dynamic and the fact they clearly should have been written to fall in love with each other…. There is still an important subplot involving a lesbian couple.

When Frosts’ mum and her “room-mate” come to town, his mum is fretting all weekend about how to tell Frost that her room-mate is actually her fiancé. She’s worried about how Frost will take it, because she isn’t convinced that he would be okay with her being gay, but in the end Frost reveals that he has known for years, and hadn’t said anything because she would tell him when she was ready. Honestly, all around Frost is a great character.

And if im not mistaken, we also see, that the male characters have weaknesses. It’s been a while since I watched the show, and I only recently restarted, but I decided to start half-way thru season 3…. Idk why.

But Frost used to get extremely nauseous around gore, and couldn’t watch Maura doing her medical examinations because he would throw up.

And Korsack, is an excellent leader, he starts out as a detective and gets promoted to sergeant, but he’s always sensitive of the needs of the people around him, and as the senior to jane and frost, even when they were the same rank, he never acted like he was somehow “better”

And Frankie, as well is an all around great guy. Tommy also. He has a one night stand, gets a girl pregnant, and does everything in his power to be a good father, and make sure that kid has a good life, and even when Lydia planned to move across the country with TJ, and when TOmmy wasn’t sure he’d get any custody, he was determined he would pay child-support, even tho he didnt rly have a job himself.

The show has an abundance of male characters, yet none of them are overly mucho, grossly sexual, bigoted, have to prove theyre the alpha male…. None of them are stereotypes, or fit the typical mould for masculinity (which tends to be hyper-masculinity).

 okay Rondo is a bit odd, with his calling the Rizzoli women “vanilla” and “mrs vanilla” but I think that’s just representative of the fact he lives a very different life, but he’s a great guy, and he does a lot of good- between being a CI, and with “Rondo’s rejects” – helping out disadvantaged children

I mean the show definitely has its faults… though I think these faults are ultimately, that Jane and Maura should have been a couple (and the show really messes up everytime they write jokes about it into the script, and characterised it as “gross” or “unrealistic”) and the way they make fun of Maura, who, if the show had written that she was autistic, I would not have been surprised at all. Sure, she’s very intelligent, and has a very high level of education, so it’s no shock when she is spouting medical jargon, but its more than that,  like, Maura is like hyper-interested in medicine, and psychology, and such, she refuses to “guess”, she is entirely analytical, she has many many keen interests, such as fashion, and art, she likes to know things. She likes things to be very clean, and tidy. When she’s on a train of thought, there really isn’t any diverting her. She is also often quite awkward in some social situations, not the kind of awkward that Jane is when she’s forced to wear a dress and go to a charity event in some upperclass neighbourhood, but the kind of awkward, where shes only knows how to talk about things which she knows about. And I feel like the show kind of creates her character this way, and then has the other characters sometimes poke fun at her for her interests.