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#and i say this as someone who could not possibly give less of a shit about wanda and vision as characters
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You know that whole scene with Klaus reuniting with Punch and Judy/ Adam and Lilith? That already gives me so many emotions but I ended up accidentally making it worse with headcanons about their previous relationship that I hope at some point will make it into a fic:
Bill and Barry never really grasped the way constructs were treated outside of Mechanicsburg. They don’t really get the concept that something like that could matter so much to people, that they would actively view people as less than human for a few stitches or an extra limb. That the insanity of Mechanicsburg could actually be an improvement on the rest of the world that supposedly cared about morals in this one thing that they’d never even questioned before.
They try, they really do, they get righteously furious about it every other week, but they never really get it. They’re more confused than anything when Klaus and Judy tell them they should be the ones to ask for boarding while travelling anonymously because they’re less likely to be turned away.
They don’t notice that Punch and Judy take certain adventures more personally than the rest of them do, the way they went all still when hearing a monologue about constructs taken as ‘spare parts’ by Sparks that insist it doesn’t count because they’re not people anyway. Even worse the supposed ‘heroes’ they work with to take down rogue Sparks and then turn around and insist that the job isn’t finished until they purge the area of the Spark’s creations as well.
They’re complaining about their professors and Klaus explains why he dislikes one of them by casually bringing up that he had a pet theory of a ‘sliding scale of humanity’ and he once derailed a lecture by trying to place Klaus on it. They are horrified and murderous and Klaus becomes the first person to marvel at how sheltered someone was growing up in Mechanicsburg.
So there is always a certain connection between Punch, Judy and Klaus over this in particular because they know that Bill and Barry can’t possibly understand. Not like they do. And it’s important, to Punch and Judy entering an outside world for the first time and having it reject them even as it grows used to and even welcomes the Heterodynes but not them, never fully. Heterodynes can redeem themselves with enough determination but how can you redeem yourself when your only crime to begin with was existing?
It’s important to Klaus who knew relatives and friends who looked like they had to force themselves to say his name without flinching because they didn’t really believe it was him they were talking to. University was a fresh start but it took years for him to break the nervous habit of adjusting his cuffs and collar to cover his skin because it was just exhausting to watch the way people changed once they noticed.
Sometimes they talked about it but most of the time they’re just there for each other and that’s enough. Also they’re all way more willing to get into a fight on someone else’s behalf than their own so it gives them a nice opening to beat the shit out of bigots.
On an unrelated and slightly less angsty note I also think that Punch and Judy were sort of the mom friends of the Heterodyne adventures. They got into the habit of spending a considerable amount of their lives trying to make these insane twenty somethings get some rest every now again and the rest of it complaining (Punch naturally had a sign language that the Boys may have invented specifically for him but communicated perfectly adequately through Looks as well) the constant, stupid risks they took to their own lives.
When it became clear that they couldn’t have children Bill and Barry couldn’t feel more terrible about it, they spent ages trying to come up with a solution but couldn’t imagine one where there was an ironclad guarantee of no amnesia. Klaus suggested adoption since they were so good with the orphans they came across but, though it wasn’t ruled out, Judy half jokingly made comments about how she was busy enough with ‘her boys’ anyway so she didn’t need children for now.
Klaus finds it easiest to talk to Punch sometimes because he really listens and waits until he’s finished speaking to offer input when it’s wanted (it usually isn’t). He’s also exceptionally good at reading non verbal cues which is helpful because Klaus always had some kind of allergy to talking about anything personal.
Judy knows about Lucrezia and Klaus. She’s fairly certain Bill is the only one of them who doesn’t. She personally thinks both of them would be a lot better off with someone else, anyone else really. She distrusts something in Lucrezia’s eyes when she’s around them, calculating and almost predatory, but then both of them had unusual ideas of what constituted romance. She doesn’t like it but she doesn’t say anything. Years later she’ll wish she had.
When Punch and Judy hear that Klaus is back from the dead and annihilating all the warring nobility’s armies that cross his path they think ‘Well something else is clearly going on there but that does sound a little like what Klaus would do if he went off the deep end to be perfectly honest.’
They find out he’s conquering an empire and that sounds a lot less like Klaus. Then Barry returns in a complete panic, holding his niece like a lifeline and talking about how Klaus is working for the Other.
It’s a struggle to even contemplate it, the same Other that killed Bill’s infant son and most likely Bill as well, the Other that destroyed the Wulfenbach barony and massacred its people, including Klaus’ own parents, the Other that ravaged Europa sending it into a state of utter chaos. They know Klaus. They’ve known him since he was reckless eighteen year old who just wanted to make the world a better place. They know him.
But…… A few months ago they would have said the thought of subjugating the continent would never cross Klaus’ mind, that he’d never do something like that. He wasn’t that kind of Spark. On their bad days the boys used to talk about what would happen if either of them ever crossed ‘the line’ and though they’d all reassured them that they never would Klaus had promised in complete sincerity that he wouldn’t let them.
No one had ever thought that Klaus might need to have a line. He never even properly lost control of a fugue, he didn’t forget morals in the heat of the moment, every decision he made he’d stand by years later as the right one. He took things further than the boys sometimes but that was because he’d concluded it was for the best and he didn’t need a strict code the way they, still wrestling and redirecting those Heterodyne urges inside them, did.
They also knew Barry and he wouldn’t ever be able to believe something like that if there’d been any other explanation. Barry had known Klaus too.
Basically I’m never going to get over the tragedy that is this group of people because they were friends! They were probably the first real friends any of them had had! They were so young and optimistic and they decided they were going to start fixing things because no one else would. They thought the world could get better and people deserved second chances and for a while it actually worked and it meant something and then it blew up in their faces.
Everything falls apart worse than it was when they started, they lose everyone close to them and they wonder if the world was ever really going to change at all. When the era of the Heterodyne Boys comes to an end they don’t face it together the way they always thought they would if they failed. It ends with all of them are separated and so disillusioned that they’ll believe that even their closest friends would betray them and humanity in the worst way possible.
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mokeonn · 7 months
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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
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medicinemane · 10 days
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I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity
Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all
And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me
It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been
But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel
...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this
One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help
Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out
I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all
...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut
Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?
I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already
...everyone means well, it's just tiring
#it's like when people make you being suicidally depressed about them#I... don't really want to say some more specific details cause they might be able to pick themselves out of a line up#but it's just like... man... is this more about trying to get me in a better place; or about making you feel better#wears me out#mm tag so i can find things later#just seems impossible for people to not offer advice on things#the thing people never think of with advice; is that people living a situation often have thought about that situation a whole lot#it's like why... with my friend that's looking for theatre jobs; I don't offer a lot of advice because I figure they've done quite a bit#just kinda... offer to help the best I can and ask what they need; and then mostly just listen#it's not like I never ever say anything; it's just I try to back up advice with something concrete#like... for instance if I wanted to suggest someone do therapy; then I'm gonna be offering to help them find a therapist as best I can#cause I get that it's not like you just 'go to therapy'... getting started on things is often the hardest part#eh... keeping this as vague as possible cause I want the actions I took not the details#but when I had a friend who was someone who didn't treat them at all well#I didn't directly try to get them to leave cause I know that... it's hard; they were in deep#instead I just made sure to validate their perception of reality a whole lot#counter the literal gaslighting by just pointing out that they made sense and questioning how reasonable their partner was#and then I attempted to get them in touch with some other people so they were less isolated and had other people to validate them#and thankfully they're not with that person anymore; they're doing a great job at life and are much healthier now#...but advice... honestly I don't think I gave them much#I more asked leading questions to try and shine a light on things; or would brainstorm about what to do with various stuff#they were real stuck; and it was painful to see them stuck in such a bad situation; but... better to sit with them than push push push#it felt like if I gave them my actual advice; dump that abusive freak; they couldn't have heard me#it was easy for me to tell them the solution; but that didn't account for all the barriers to implementing that solution#in this case; many of the barriers were internal; but internal or external; barriers are barriers#I don't know... I just think sometimes you gotta be comfortable sitting with discomfort along side someone#unless you got an actual fix; and you're willing to put in the work to fix it... shut up about fixing and just be there for them#mhh... we'll take one of the only things I'm actually capable of doing instead of something more serious#if someone wants a minecraft server; I can either fucking help them set it up; or I can kinda keep my mouth shut#if I'm not helping them set it up; I can give them shit like 'that sounds cool; I bet you could do it'
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bunbunlovestowrite · 2 months
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How the Hashira men react to your neighbor asking you to be quiet
Characters: Tengen, Sanemi, Rengoku, Obanai, Gyomei, Giyuu,
Additional shit: Swearing, Sanemi fighting said neighbor, Rengoku being blunt, mentions of sex, ooc mot likely :p
Tengen
He couldn't care less
His whole thing is being flashy and loud so he wants you to be loud
Like it's not his fault that dick is magical
After he shoos your neighbor away he makes sure to be as loud as possible that night
He's pounding into your cunt and you swear your gonna break when he whispers "okay now scream exactly how big my dick is. Don't forget the tip color-"
He gets cut off by you hitting him with the pillow
Way to ruin the mood
But that doesn't stop him and instead he goes harder, making sure the bed creaks loud ASF for your neighbor
"Not my fault he doesn't know how to please a woman." Is his main reason for doing so
He really wants you to scream his name so it's imbedded in your neighbors head
"Morning N/N!" Him to your neighbor from the balcony while your trying to get out of bed and failing
"Actually die." Both you and your neighbor to Tengen
Sanemi
Cares alot
Why the fuck is that limp dick biscuit talking to you and him? Who does he think he is?
You were the one who broke the news to him thankfully cause if Sanemi was the one who opened the door then you'd have to see your husband through glass in a prison
Just kidding. The Slayer corp would get him out of trouble if he didn't do it himself.
Anyways
Sanemi made it his goal to piss your neighbor off as much as possible
Your under him, practically creaming on his cock, and he's slamming the wall yelling "This loud enough yet?! Huh!?"
Not kidding I can see him doing that
He quite literally had you against a window where your neighbors could see him destroying you just to make them mad or uncomfortable, hopefully both.
But then he'd get pissed someone else would see you all naked and fucked out so he settled for the wall next to the window
One day your neighbor, finally having enough, bangs on your door yelling and guess who opens it...Sanemi!!
Good Lord was he waiting for this
It took one punch and the guy was out
Kinda what happens when you put a normal dude against a guy who kills demons for a living
Rengoku
He's a good neutral between caring and not caring
Like he doesn't wanna make your neighbors mad but he also loves hearing your screams
So he tries to keep you quiet during sex but fails since he gets to into it to give a fuck
The next days his loud ass voice wakes you up
"IM SORRY FOR MAKING INCREDIBLE LOVE TO MY WIFE!" He's not being sarcastic thats his genuine apology
Your facepalming and you want to die when you see your neighbor and she can't look at you
"PERHAPS SHES MAD BECAUSE HER HUSBAND CANNOT PLEASE HER!" Rengoku says casually and you know she can hear you from outside in her garden
"Inside voices!" You place your hands over his mouth to try and shut him up.
It works for a bit before he's yelling again
You love your husband but holy shit you wish he would speak normally sometimes
He's actually quiet in bed though
So your the problem (real)
Obanai
I'm not an Obanai fan so forgive me for how bad his section will be
Obanai is a quiet mf, and you're not even that loud
It's your neighbor who was the problem
A little old man whose hearing aids apparently had the power of 67 suns
You and Obanai found this out when he was outside training and your neighbor came over
He was so sweet and polite and even chuckled at Obanai's redness
Obanai cared at first but got over it
You? You make sure to not make a PEEP in bed
Okay that pisses Obanai off but he understands your reasons
At least make a gasp or sum cause he's over here like "Wait does this feel good? Can she feel it? Did I forget where the clit is?"
Brother is STRESSING
Then you cum and he's like "ah"
Then he's like "Did you take it?"
You have to keep yourself from murdering him cause how tf would you fake squirting
Gyomei
Babe I'm not gonna lie, you're a screamer
Gyomei is built like a house and your telling me your just gonna whine and whimper?
NO
Your over here crying and screaming into his chest, neck, the pillow, anything.
And Gyomei loves it!
He can't see your reactions so hearing and feeling them let's him know he's doing good
Gyomei isn't loud but he's not quiet
He'll grunt and moan and praise you, but he's not gonna cry out.
Well he'll cry but you can never tell from what
When the pussy so good you start crying 😭🙏
When your neighbor politely asked you to be a tad bit quieter Gyomei actually laughed
Not in a 'nah we'll keep being loud' way but more of a 'sorry we'll be quiet' way. He also found it hilarious how you actually died of embarrassment.
Don't worry he thinks its endearing
Yet it was kinda hard for him since he enjoyed hearing you
But your touches and now quieter moans made that better
And then there's also you literally drawing blood from his back you were scratching so hard
Giyuu
Holy shit you have never seen him so embarrassed
Like you could shade match his Haori to him and get the exact same color
He was the one your neighbor told and he stopped working when 'loud' and 'moaning' left their lips
If a demon doesn't kill him then his own actions will
Giyuu isn't loud, and he loves that he can make you feel so good that your loud for him.
But he didn't want your neighbor back over at your house so he tried to keep you quiet
You were super confused when he held his hand over your mouth in bed and he just pointed to your neighbors house. Then you got it.
So you nod and try to keep quiet.
You know in school when the teacher tells you and a friend to shut up but they look at you funny and you break?
Yeah that was you
You were riding Giyuu one night and you were loud so he was like "holy shit I love you but please- I can't look our neighbor in the eyes anymore."
And you couldn't help but laugh
Like howling
You calmed down obviously but sex was very giggle filled after that
You've never seen Giyuu so panicked
But give him a week and he'll stop caring
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crockersbian · 1 year
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also i’ve talked massive shit about transmasc roxy as a headcanon being unfounded and kinda backwards but like. i’ll still take a thousand people who like it than like five “omg i love trans girl eridan so much <3 comfort character” types. like the headcanon *itself* for that one is.... loaded. in its own ways. though frankly i like it in a Nightmarishly Dysphoria-Inducing Culmination Of Homestucks Godawful Gender Roles sorta sense, but like. imagine actually *liking* Eridan, regardless of gender. like not even in a “sucks so much ilu” sense like- villain likers and bastard likers and problematic-yet-not-necessarily-INHERENTLY-irredeemable-shitshow likers are fine cool whatever but imagine sympathizing with that Fuck
#keyword 'as a headcanon'#i'll talk even BIGGER shit about it as a post-canon/pseudocanon LOL#like. i dont know how else to emphasize this saying its 'unfounded and kinda backwards' is the faintest damnation fucking possible#i love headcanons that are unfounded! less that are kinda backwards but mostly bc it'd take effort to internally deconstruct that shit for m#me to tell lol#like i actually do think transfem equius despite being fucking SILLY could rlly work. but if someone else called it unfounded and backwards-#YEAH DUDE! SURE IS! I COULD ARGUE ABOUT THE PARTICULARS OF THAT ASSIGNMENT BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT#only fucking hole in transfemquius is that i think its in a specifically girl way and i Don't think that'd be reconcileable for AR.#but also that projects my headcanons on the text itself which. i don't expect to change the text so much as laquer up over it like a second#layer? hm#also like while i think Eq is transfem i do NOOOOOT think he'd like. know. at all#so i don't think the sprite would instantly explode but it still causes existential issues as to what that'd end up BEING#(eq being pretty unambiguously attracted to women in canon would pose less of an issue bc i'm fucking certain Eq when faced with#personality fusion would fold like a damp towel wrt 'oh only guys huh'. kinda like how jasprose sprite is like 90% rose. AR has a toughness#rating of like 90 on both gender and sexuality eq has a 70 on gender and like a 20 on sexuality WITH REGAURDS TO LIKE.#COMBINING PEOPLE. THE DELICATE ART OF SHOVING TWO EXISTENCES INTO ONE FORMAT#NOT LIKE. CONVERSION THERAPY.#GOD I'M RAMBLIIIIIING AND I STILL NEED TO SHOWER ITS 2:20 IN THE MORNING IM A MESS
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gay-dorito-dust · 2 months
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Can I request headcanons for Logan and Wade with shy gn s/o please?
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I’m going to assume separate unless told otherwise as poly relationship between Wade/Logan and reader would be cool too, but again unless specified I’m just going to assume it’s separate.
Wade Wilson/ Deadpool
Wade found your shyness adorable but found your reactions to his teasing and flirting.
And he abuses the shit out of that to his hearts content.
Mouse was a nickname that you were given almost immediately from the moment you met as you were quiet and cute as one too that to Wade it just fit you perfectly.
Wade; stop being so fucking cute!
You: huh?
Wade: you heard me! It should be illegal to be as cute as you! You should be locked up for the thing you do to me, but I’d rather keep ahold of the details because half of them might make you faint little mouse.
You: oh. 😶🫣
Wade will make it a tradition to take you by surprise, whether it be by randomly kissing you, hugging you from behind, playfully smacking your ass, it didn’t matter because your tendency to whine his name out in embarrassment ‘waaaaddde!’ Before hiding your face in his chest as he laughs and whispers teasing words into your ear that only makes your flustered state worsen.
Wade didn’t mind that you were shy, he really didn’t as he found it to be one of the many things he loved about you and wanted to protect, he didn’t want you to feel as though you should have to change to better fit him when he was more content with you being you.
He’s never had as much fun nor laughter in his life like he did when he was with you, and Wade considered himself lucky to have someone as soft and sweet as you that he often times thought you’d be better off without a fuck up like him in your life but he’d kept it to himself, disguising it with humour and teasing you instead.
Logan Howlett/ Wolverine
Logan finds you being shy amusing to say the least.
It brought his protective instincts out as someone as soft and shy and softly spoken as you would need him by your side 24/7.
He’s your guard dog, scary dog privilege in the form of a very traumatised man who’s became more familiar with pain and heartbreak than the tender affection and touches you give him.
So you found it best to be patient with Logan and give him time to become familiar with your love and affection until he felt ready to reciprocate in his own way. And Logan appreciated you for that and would let you know his appreciation by planting a soft kiss to your forehead.
Logan is a softy with you and while he’s quick to bite back at other people, with you he’s much softer with his words that they’re practically sweet murmurs whispered within your ear, as he held you against his chest protectively as you both drifted off to sleep.
He more or less acts as your voice whenever you felt discomfort, he’d could easily tell from your bodily language and would immediately step in, and voice your discomfort for you in your stead for Logan knew that you’d rather avoid conflict then delve headfirst into it like him.
However Logan would be the type to try and teach you ways to defend yourself and how to stick up for yourself when he couldn’t, this is probably out of his fear of losing someone dear to his heart again, but he wasn’t about to risk looking you when he could give you the tools to keep yourself safe while he was away.
He gives you his jacket, just make sure that the point gets across that you were his and not theirs, after all he’s a possessive man who doesn’t like sharing what’s his with anyone else.
He didn’t care about anyone else, you were the only thing he gave two shits about alongside Laura Kinney (x 23) other then you two, nothing else mattered to Logan. He just wanted you to be happy for as long as possible.
Side note: he’d love it if you and Laura got along, it’ll mean all the more to him.
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
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Lads I am trying soooo hard to remain optimistic but I really feel like I used up my allowance of luck already this week
#you know how i was complaining about my sunday shift and how i was going to have to spend hours on my own with my 19 year old coworker#who i’d only briefly met once and i didn’t think we were going to have anything in common#yeah so we hit it off SO fast. in a platonic way obvs. but we actually have a lot in common and are able to laugh and joke around#with each other and he’s really easy to talk to and just generally cool#literally by lunchtime i felt so stupid for ever being worried about working with him#so like. a similar thing is happening tomorrow. i’m working with someone i only briefly met and she didn’t give me good vibes#and the other coworker who’s on with us is someone i do not like#i’m trying to cling to the possibility that MAYBE it could be okay?? she could be really nice. but i didn’t get a good vibe from her#and my aforementioned 19 year old coworker whose judgement i more or less trust described her as scary#which has me like… yikes#i am a fluffy bunny rabbit. treat me really niceys#it probably won’t be as bad as i think it’ll be. the coworker i already don’t like was actually okay the other day when i saw him#he asked me about the training day i was doing and i bought crisps from him#and this new person wasn’t like.. mean. she was just a little weird. which i get! i can be a little weird too#i think. i am just going to hope for the best. go in there with my new shoes on and a can-do attitude; say ‘mornin’’ to everyone;#smile nicely and try to do everything correctly. and not forget to take my pills because if my shoulder starts acting up#i will become the joker#even if it goes really badly i’ll just try to remember it’s only 8 hours (well sort of 7.5 with my lunch break)#and i can always do my best to avoid one or both of them in future. we have a rota app.. i can cancel shifts if i find i’m in with the two#of them again and no buffer and don’t think i’ll be able to handle that shit#also on sunday i’m in with people i really like. which is great :)#personal
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mythicmanuscripts · 2 months
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Hi, could you write something about Aegon burned and having difficulty walking and his wife taking care of him and him being ashamed and at the same time needy and only wanting her? sorry, English is not my first language
Oh god anon you really know how to tug on the heart strings. And now unfortunately all of you will have to learn about my love for angsty shit, so buckle up lads.
My first thought is how Aegon's trust in anyone must be completely shattered? His own brother burnt him and tried to kill him. When he wakes up and the maesters are leaning over him he immediately panics and tries to get away. They say they're trying to help him and try to give him medication but he freaks out every time because how is he supposed to trust anyone ever again?
Of course the moment he wakes up someone runs to tell you, so you get to the room pretty quickly. You see Aegon weakly trying to push them maesters away, begging them not to hurt him.
You tell everyone to stand back and then you walk over to Aegon, taking his hand and pressing a soft kiss to the top of it. Aegon relaxes the moment he sees you. He trusts you, you're the one person he knows would never hurt him.
For the first few days the maesters have to explain to you how to treat aegon's wounds because he wouldn't let anyone else come near him. You do it without complaint of course, and you try to spend as much time as you can with him. You lay next to him in bed and read to him and let him hold your hand and he's just so so thankful.
I think that the shame and avoidance will come once he starts improving actually? Once he needs less milk of the poppy and he can remove his bandages and he has to start walking again. The first time he sees his face in the mirror he cries. He just stands there and silently cries because he thinks he looks like a monster. He has no idea how you managed to stay by his side when he looked like this.
He starts to feign sleep every time you come to check on him, not moving until he's certain you've left the room. He doesn't want you to see his face free of bandages, doesn't want to make you have to look at him and keep up a conversation and care for him.
He lets the maesters tend to him then, and maybe even asks the servants to try and keep you busy and prevent you from seeing him as much as possible. You notice this of course, but you also know that he's in a really fragile state and you don't want to push him out of his comfort zones.
Things really start to get bad when it's time for Aegon to walk and try going up stairs and try climbing into a proper bath. All of that is so so painful and he struggles so much. The servants and maesters try to help him, but he flinches and begs them not to touch him every time.
He's already in so much pain and he doesn't know who he can trust and the maester's touch is always so cold and harsh and it hurts even worse. The maesters don't know what to do because he very clearly needs help and also needs to practice walking again but he won't let anyone touch him.
Deep down, he desperately wants you. He wants to lean against your arm and feel your hand on his waste. He knows he could lean on you and you would help him and he'd even get a kiss when he did well.
But he can't ask you, can't even ask you to see him because he's so scared that once you see how scarred his face is, you will refuse to see him anymore.
While your marriage to Aegon was originally an arranged marriage, you two fell in love quite quickly and Aegon very quickly become dependant on you. So much so that Aegon is widely considered to be the king who loved their queen the most out of all the previous rulers.
So now, to not have your support and to not see you and to be in so much pain? He's struggling so so much.
Maybe one of the maesters eventually have to tell you? They can see that Aegon is not making progress and they fear he may hurt himself if he continues to try and walk on his own or dress on his own or even just bathe on his own.
Your heart breaks when the maester tells you, and you immediately go up to Aegon's chambers. You were originally going to wait until he called you, but after hearing that you know that you have to go to him now.
You find him standing next to his bed, trying to muster up the energy to walk to his cupboard and change clothes. When he sees you, he turns his face away from you, telling you to go away because he looks like a monster.
You just walk right over to him, gently lifting his head and pressing a soft kiss to his unblemished cheek. You tell him that you love him, and that you're his wife. He needs to let someone help him, and you promise him that you have absolutely zero intention of leaving or betraying him, he is your husband, you only want to help.
He kinda just... falls into you? Like he just stops trying to hold his weight and you have to catch him. You slowly lower him down onto the bed and go fetch his clean clothes from the cupboard. You undress and dress him, pressing soft kisses to unburnt skin and telling him how proud you are of him and how strong he is.
From that day onwards, you don't leave Aegon's side while he recovers. You help him as much as you can, going on slow walks around the castle together and keeping his burns clean.
No one else can touch him, in fact no one else can even get close to him. If you vouch for someone and tell Aegon that he needs to trust this person and let them touch him, then Aegon will let them as long as you stay close.
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FOOLISH SPRING WINDS, BLOW MY WAY ; SATORU GOJO
summary; a snippet of the spring you share with a certain satoru gojo — who seems intent on making your high school life as difficult as possible.
word count; 5.4k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, enemies to friends (..but the ’enemy’ part is kinda one-sided), fluffy n sweet overall, satoru doesn’t know how to make friends + thinks lighthearted bullying constitutes as a bonding activity, he’s a little shit but he means well, switching povs, lots of gojo slander (but reader sees the light eventually), big shoujo vibes, they’re both tsunderes <33
a/n; i ended up scrapping the series i wrote this fic for originally, so i thought i’d rewrite it and repost it on its own!! teentoru is such a grumpy little kitten i need to squish his paws
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satoru gojo is annoying.
it might seem blunt, but after many weeks of careful thinking, you’ve decided no description could possibly fit him better. 
when you first met him, on that first day of school, you had no idea what to think. no real expressions or tonal shifts to clue you in on who he was, how he felt — nothing but the slightest peek of a terrifying blue to set your nerves on edge. 
in hindsight, you’re almost certain it was intentional. he wanted to appear unreadable. purposefully hiding his personality and mannerisms, to gain the upper hand — observing you, dissecting you inside his mind, while revealing nothing about himself apart from his surname. 
it’s a kind of power; a safety measure.
… but evidently, holding back isn’t exactly gojo’s forte. the very next morning, he was already beginning to loosen up, after getting more accustomed to the new environment and classmates. showing you his true colours; just a little hint of cerulean, a single dip of paint on the blank canvas of his soul.
and with the revelation of his genuine personality — your unease around him festered even more.
where could you even begin to describe him? for one, he’s childish. and cocky. and loud. arrogant, selfish and flamboyant — just generally an asshole? you could go on and on. none of the traits are particularly flattering, and you know he couldn’t care less.
gojo is annoying, plain and simple. almost constantly up to something, eager to push someone’s buttons, to get attention. like a bratty toddler. uninterested in manners, or even common courtesy; he says what he feels, regardless of how other people take it. 
to put it simply, he has no regard for the people around him. his self-interest is limitless. 
as if that wasn’t annoying enough — you have no choice but to admit that he does have a certain presence to him. a kind of charisma, or what you think could become charisma, if he’d just get off that high horse already. he won’t, though. you know he won’t. he revels in it, in looking down on everything and everyone, annoyingly boisterous and irritatingly tall. freaky, long limbs. like a noodle and an alien had a baby.
but, more than anything — above all else — what frustrates you most is the fact that his unbridled confidence isn’t exactly unwarranted.
as much as it pains you to say it… gojo is maybe just a little bit incredible. a natural-born genius. he’s intelligent, and observant, and awfully pretty, with those baby blues eyes and those snowy locks of hair. and he has no issue getting what he wants. 
absolutely zero. 
there’s something admirable about it, in a twisted way. like he doesn’t even need to try. he’s good at anything, if he just gives it a single chance. you can only assume he’s never given much thought to the prospect of being a decent guy, because that’s the only thing he sucks at.
effortlessly perfect, in the most imperfect of ways. that’s probably how you’d describe him.
… annoying is still the most fitting word, though. or maybe obnoxious. he’s got this spoiled rich kid vibe that irks you, gets under your skin. you doubt he’s ever had to empathize with anyone, in his entire life. 
and, yes — maybe you’re being a little harsh to him. but why should you bother being jovial when he won’t return the favour?
gojo is annoying; and when you say that, you mean annoying to basically everyone. as a basis for existing. always teasing and taunting, looking down from that high horse of his. you’re no exception to this rule, of course. but you’re almost certain that he has it out for you specifically.
you know he looks down on you, from behind those tacky sunglasses. you’re sure of it.
compared to geto or shoko, you aren’t very self-assured — and you think he must have sensed it the moment he laid eyes on you. sensed that you’re a little meek, a bit of a doormat, easy to push around and get a rise out of. maybe he also noticed your apprehension towards him, your apparent unease. 
you’re easy prey, to put it simply.
evidently, he’s developed a fondness for getting under your skin. it started as soon as introductions were over, and it still hasn’t gotten better. he loves catching you off guard, throwing you an unneeded comment or two, just to see what reaction you’ll give him next. almost like he’s solving an equation — said equation being you, the limit of your patience. and you keep giving him what he wants; a scoff, a roll of your eyes, an earnest fuck right off. you can never seem to successfully ignore him. he’s just far, far too good at being insufferable.
… and, more than anything, he’s far too out of reach. even when you try to get along with him, it backfires. you don’t have a single thing in common. you don’t understand him at all. 
(and that suits you just fine.)
a heavy sigh slips from your parted lips, as you examine your blurry reflection in the surface of the mirror. fatigue clings to your skin like a layer of sweat, your mind muddled, stuffed with anxious thoughts and discomforting feelings.
you’re exhausted. completely and utterly spent, even though the day’s barely begun — running on three pitiful hours of sleep, all broken up and jumbled by nightmares that wouldn’t stop spooking you. not a single wink of proper rest. 
and it’s painfully obvious. in your face, your posture, the dark crescents beneath your eyes; in the way you can’t help but drag your legs as you walk, your hair disheveled, little sighs and grumbles slipping from your lips for every step you take. all you can do is sluggishly blink the exhaustion away.
you just feel so tired.
it could be worse, though. you don’t have any classes today, no real reason to get out of your comfy bed, leave the safety of your cozy little dorm room. but you need breakfast, right now, or else you’ll literally explode — so you still get up on shaky legs and try to mimic the appearance of someone… even moderately well-rested.
it doesn’t work, but that’s besides the point. 
so you make your way to the dormitory’s shared kitchen. walking idly — clumsily — enjoying the sight of fleeting, fluttering cherry blossoms through the windows you pass. little pink butterflies.
once you’ve crossed the threshold, you’re relieved to find the open space entirely devoid of people. no shoko, no geto, not even a mischievous gojo. running into the first two wouldn’t be the end of the world — but it still wouldn’t be ideal. you don’t want anyone seeing you like this, tired and meek, a little vulnerable.
(least of all gojo. you shiver at the bare thought.)
with laboured, groggy movements, you waltz around the kitchen, getting cups and plates and turning on the coffee machine. enjoying the soothing melody of the pan sizzling, singing along to the purring of espresso being made. it’s nice and pleasant to your sensitive ears, as you blink under the rays of sunlight shining in, throwing together a lazy breakfast. 
you waste no time in taking a seat by one of the tables once you’re finished. eager to soak in the peace and quiet, wolf down a sandwich and copious amounts of caffeine.
but, as always — the world seems to have it out for you specifically.
”oh? well, look who it is. and here i thought you had left too.”
you stiffen. ever so slightly, barely noticeable, but still enough that you physically feel the dread envelop every single cell of your body. the voice that echoes out across the open air is a chipper one, a familiar one. a voice you were desperately hoping not to hear today. 
all you can do is continue to sip from your cup of coffee, inwardly wincing, silently going through all five stages of grief simultaneously — before accepting your unfortunate predicament. 
(that’s just your luck, isn’t it?)
finally, you raise your weary head, knowing exactly what sight you’ll be met with once you do. 
and, lo and behold — there he is.
gojo looks the same as always. grinning brightly, a little woflish, wearing those ugly sunglasses and making his way across the room like he owns it. a trait you can’t help but admire, envy, hate and worship at the same time. he plops down next to you like it’s nothing, a little too close for comfort, unconcerned about your concept of personal space.
”whatcha up to?” he chirps, in that sugar sweet tone, layered over with a boyish kind of excitement. there’s a teasing tilt to it, too — the one that always accompanies his voice when he’s speaking to you.
under normal circumstances, you’d flip him off. maybe even just glare at him, silently, or raise a brow in challenge.
but you’re far, far too tired to. too anxious. too in need of sleep, in need of a peaceful breakfast that he oh so cruelly ripped from you. all you can muster is the energy to glance his way.
for just a second, your eyes meet. not like you can actually see them, from behind his glasses — but you know they’re there. menacing and uncanny, bright and excited. too much to handle, right now.
”… morning.”
as soon as the mutter has left your lips, you take a tentative bite of your sandwich. gaze trailing sluggishly back to your plate.
gojo blinks.
he immediately notes that your voice sounds meek. even more so than usual. he expected you to give him a scoff, or even just a timid huff — but no such luck. 
you’re just sitting there, quiet, curling into yourself.
after a moment’s consideration, gojo opts to look at you. to really look at you, study your face, the way those twitchy fingers move to curl around the ceramic handle of the cup you’re drinking out of. the way your eyes shift from place to place, unfocused, your eyelids flicking shut every couple seconds. slow.
he’s always been observant — but it doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re tired. 
gojo is silent, for no more than a mere moment; contemplating his next course of action. he’s never seen you like this, before. did something happen?
(— well, it doesn’t matter. not his problem.)
”you look like a zombie,” he grins, a little teasing, showing off the white of his teeth. even though you look out of it, he can’t help himself — despite his own intuition telling him to let you be. 
you’re just too fun to tease. suguru and shoko only ever raise their eyebrows at him, or stare him down like a misbehaving dog, but you always have a good reaction to give. something to entertain him when he’s bored, distract him when his mind is too full of noise. 
so he can’t help but tease you, a little. hoping it’ll soothe the restlessness inside his chest.
but for once, what gojo expects isn’t what he gets. 
what he expects is for you to glare at him. tell him to leave you alone, or even just sigh in exasperation — either one would be fine. it’s just mindless enjoyment, to him, a little fun to lighten up his day. 
especially now, when suguru is away on some day trip he wasn’t privy to. that traitor. shoko is nowhere to be seen, either, probably off smoking in some random alleyway. or hanging out with one of the kyoto losers.
… the whole dorm is so eerily quiet.
(gojo would never admit it, not in a thousand years… but maybe he’d feel just a little bit lonely without any of you around.)
for a while after waking up, he assumed he’d have to spend the whole day alone. no one to talk to, no one to look at. he was practically dying of boredom. but then he entered the kitchen — and saw his saving grace. his dear little irritable classmate. 
he was so relieved. content in the knowledge that he’d get to push your buttons to his heart’s desire, bask in your playful banter and cold, joking little looks until suguru finally comes home.
only this time — you don’t react at all. 
you don’t give him what he expects, don’t indulge his little antics, in the way he’s grown so accustomed to. you just keep eating your breakfast, and drinking your coffee, in total silence. 
gojo waits, just a couple moments more. hoping for a delayed reaction, a witty counter, a snarky comment. anything. 
but it never comes.
finally, he starts to sulk. slumping against the leather seat behind him, quieting down with a low huff. furrowing his brows, as his glossy, cherry-tasting lips curl down into a little pout.
honestly, he’s kind of annoyed. just what is your problem? what is with you, today? 
… it’s no fun if you’re not playing along. 
gojo can’t help but grumble, a little, under his breath. you’re usually so responsive, so easy to rile up. so what’s wrong? why are you just sitting there?
whatever. so what if you’re not talking to him? so what if you won’t even spare him a glance? gojo has better things to do, bigger fish to fry. he wasn’t even that excited, when he saw you. the thought of bantering with you didn’t lift his spirits, even in the slightest. 
not even a little bit.
but, really — would it take so much effort for you to just say something? to just respond to his friendly little quip? you can’t possibly be that tired. 
or, what — did you get insecure, or something? because he called you a zombie? no way. you’re not that sensitive… are you? or is that it? 
what a hassle.
you know he’s just messing with you. he knows you know. so why are you acting so…. 
(sad, gojo wants to think, but he buries the thought before it can reach his frontal cortex. he doesn’t want to empathize with you, not right now — doesn’t want to feel that discomforting pang in his chest.)
a strange sensation bubbles up in his chest. something frustrated, a little unnerved; at your lack of a reaction, the weak glint in your eyes. he just doesn’t understand why — and that frustrates him even more. 
why can’t you just bite back, like always?
(… it’s fun when you do.)
the silence lingers on, stretches out across the room, festers and grows as you gulp down your breakfast. all while gojo keeps on sulking, still sitting beside you, waiting for something to happen. he briefly considers getting up and leaving, or saying something annoying to hopefully spur you on —
but you stand up before he can convince himself to go through with either option.
having finished your breakfast, your legs carry you to the sink. finally, you can head back to your room. gojo’s being weirdly quiet, but you pay no mind to it; methodically washing your dishes in silence. 
you don’t bother saying goodbye to him, either. still sitting there, seemingly deep in thought, grumbling something under his breath. 
he watches as you leave, gaze trailing after you, until you’re completely out of sight. 
then he lays down, flat on his back, with a frustrated huff. trying desperately to brush away the memory of your dim eyes, the slight frown on your lips. the dark circles under your eyes, that he tried so hard not to notice because they made him feel so weirdly uncomfortable. the meek, meek look you gave him.
gojo sighs.
(he feels just a tiny, tiny bit bad.)
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when you wake up from your slumber, you immediately note that your body feels lighter.
this time, no nightmares came to haunt you. having practically collapsed once your head hit the pillow, your body finally decided to give you some peace of mind, some well needed rest. thankfully.
with a groan, you lazily stretch out your limbs — enjoying the feeling of your veins waking up, gaze falling on the clock on your wall. you’ve only been asleep for about two hours, or so, but it’s more than enough to give you the little jolt of energy that you need.
what to do, what to do. you still have the whole day ahead of you. another nap wouldn’t hurt, but you don’t want to waste your precious free time just rotting in bed — maybe you could take a walk around the schoolyard instead? the cherry blossoms have started to unfurl, and the grounds of the school are just littered with them.
even just the mental image is enough to have you changing into some light and comfortable clothes, reaching a hand out to push your door open. excitement stirring in your veins.
as you do so, something is knocked over.
all you hear is a soft little thud, accompanied by the sensation of something colliding with the door. a low curiosity overtakes you — eagerly peeking around for a look at the mysterious something.
your gaze falls on something pink.
it’s tiny, awfully out of place, just laying unassumingly on the dusty floorboards. as you crouch down to get a better look, you recognize it instantly; a small carton of strawberry milk. a plastic straw plastered on its side, and an evil looking cow mascot staring at you from the front. one of the items sold in the schoolyard’s vending machines — your personal favorite. you drink it every time you need a tiny pick-me-up, the sweet taste always managing to soothe your spirits.
and it was sitting right outside your door.
you stare at it, silently, in deep contemplation. holding it in your hand as the gears turn inside your head. could someone have dropped it? no, that’s dumb — who’d drop it right outside your door and then not pick it up?
… did someone leave it for you, then? because they know you like it? that could be it, maybe, but who would —
your mind stills. 
(no way.)
when you think about it — that’s the only explanation that makes sense. shoko and geto aren’t there, and you barely know any of your senior students. yaga-sensei would never give you strawberry milk without a lecture on the dangers of cavities, either.
that just leaves one possible culprit.
but you can’t wrap your head around it. why would he do something like that? he doesn’t like you — you know that much. so it couldn’t possibly be him.
… then again, you have seen him drink it. both of you like it, contrary to your other classmates; shoko doesn’t like sweet things in general, and geto wouldn’t go for strawberry milk if he could choose something else. it might as well be the only thing you and gojo have in common — the one thing that binds you two together. 
a single carton of strawberry milk. 
it’s almost comical.
(if it’s really true — if he really did do it… then you wonder why. maybe he noticed that you were feeling under the weather, and figured it’d make you happy. 
you wonder if it’d be foolish of you, to believe that it’s true — if only because you kinda like the idea.)
your feet move on their own, before your mind has a chance to question the decision. 
where could he be? in the kitchen, still? in his dorm?
just as you begin to wonder, a flash of white dances in the corners of your vision. when you glance out the window, you see it; white, soft hair, like a fluffy cloud, in the midst of all the pink petals fluttering about. 
you stop.
then you start walking again. with more decision, this time. hurrying to the exit.
gojo is sitting right outside the dormitory, on a wooden bench, legs swinging idly as he gazes at the sky. his hair sways slightly with the breeze, soft strands moving and caressing his skin. pink petals dance all around him, gracefully descending down to the ground, together with a trail of bubbles. gojo is blowing them, haphazardly, following their movement with his keen eyes. they glimmer in the sunlight, reflecting all shades of the rainbow.
the sight is just a little bit breathtaking. 
the ground crunches beneath your feet, when you take a step forward — and gojo turns towards you. you stiffen like a deer in headlights, instantly regretting your decision. blinking nervously. you walked here almost entirely on impulse, but now that you’re face to face…
(it’s a little scary.)
… still, it’s far too late to back out now. you can’t do much except join him, so that’s exactly what you do — albeit a little hesitantly.
trying to ignore his continuous stare, burning into the side of your head, you plop down beside him. feeling the steady bench beneath you, breathing in the scent of sweet-smelling cherries and soap.
an uncomfortable silence lingers in the air around you both, as he waits for you to say something. 
it’s a little tough. mustering up the courage to say anything, even just to face him. the decisiveness you felt just a moment ago has faded, now only the ghost of a sensation — you’re too nervous to verbalize anything.
but eventually, after a deep breath or two, you force yourself to speak. hoping you won’t come to regret it.
”… hey, gojo?” 
it’s almost a whisper. soft and fragile, mumbled beneath your breath as you stare at the cherry trees in front of you. you know his eyes are on you, though. you can feel them, almost feel their weight in the palm of your hand. like marbles.
weakly, you raise up the carton of strawberry milk. glancing over at him, not quite managing a smile, but trying your best to look somewhat appreciative. 
”thanks.”
a confused blink. gojo looks down the strawberry milk, and then back up at you. eyelashes fluttering.
a moment passes. 
then he turns his head away, swiftly, his hair tousled by the movement — a couple pink petals stuck between the soft strands. you can’t see his face anymore.
”i have no idea what you’re talking about,” he huffs, with a voice you’ve never heard him speak through.
when you look a little closer — you think the tips of his ears may be just slightly red. it makes your lips curl up into a small smile, but you barely feel it.
(like this, he’s actually kind of cute.)
cherry blossoms flutter in the wind, dancing joyously, without a care in the world. a spring breeze ruffles gojo’s hair, as he sits beside you, having begun to blow his bubbles again. not saying a word, and looking straight ahead. but you can’t help but stare, as sneakily as you can muster.
you find yourself thinking that he looks right at home, among the petals. fleeting, hard to get a grasp on, so pretty, and so out of reach — despite being so close. 
if you wanted to, you could reach over and touch him. you could reach for his sunglasses, lift them off his face, and finally see those eyes he’s so intent on hiding. you could see him, see straight into his soul — and find out who he really is.
you won’t, though. some boundaries aren’t meant to be so callously crossed.
instead, you puncture the pink carton in your hand with the plastic straw, and take a tentative sip. the sweet taste soothes you, straight away, blooming on your tongue. you can’t help but sigh, softly, relaxing even further — it’s absolutely perfect, for this kind of weather. the sight before you, cherry petals and shining bubbles, a boy you don’t like, but definitely don’t hate. 
you both look up, following the bubbles with your eyes, as they float up into the sky; as they get smaller and smaller, farther and farther out of reach. neither of you say a word, but the silence is comforting. light. 
gojo is the first one to break it — in a voice so small you barely hear it.
”… you don’t look like a zombie.”
a second passes. you’re left blinking in confusion, trying to decipher the sudden statement. you can’t get a good read on his expression, with those eyes of his conveniently hidden; he must have regained his composure, then.
it takes a couple seconds for his words to sink in — but once they do, all pieces seem to fall into place. 
and you burst into laughter.
gojo blinks at you, caught off guard, his eyelashes flapping like a little dove scrambling to get off the ground — staring at you like you just grew a second head. that makes you laugh harder, a bout of giggles spilling past your lips — you just can’t help it. 
”did —” you wheeze, softly, thoroughly amused. trying and failing to bite back the laughter. ”did you think i was bothered by that, or something?”
gojo looks at you. a little stunned, for a moment. the sight only makes your smile bloom further, eyes crinkled as you meet his gaze. from the angle you’re viewing him through, leaning back against the bench, you catch a glimmer of his eyes. they’re awfully pretty — blue and bright, full of life. when you look closer, you can see tiny, tiny splotches of white. 
they look like the blue sky. 
you called them menacing, before, but now you aren’t so sure. they seem soft, in the sunlight, especially when seen like this — right after catching him off guard. it’s a rare moment, terribly precious. something to savour.
gojo doesn’t let it linger, though. 
after a moment of two, he scoffs — turning away yet again. a soft, soft pout on his lips.
”obviously not,” he huffs, sounding nothing but irritated, resting his jaw on the heel of his palm. ”but with how sensitive you are, i wouldn’t be surprised.”
usually, a comment like that would irk you. now it just makes you giggle, lightheartedly — the tips of his ears turning redder at the sound. 
(he really isn’t so bad, after all.)
for a while, you don’t say anything else. afraid of ruining the tender atmosphere. you feel closer to gojo than ever before — and you wonder if maybe this is the gojo that geto sees. childish, but well meaning. arrogant and cocky, but oddly innocent. selfish — but not really. you’re starting to think that you may have been slightly off, with that one.
the strawberry milk on your tongue tastes sweet. a little sweeter than usual, though you choose not to dwell on it.
”hey,” you break the silence, surprising even yourself. the words fall from your lips like soft little breaths, rolling off your tongue like marbles pouring out of a glass bottle. ”i don’t dislike you, you know?”
it’s an impulsive admission. saying it out loud doesn’t feel wrong, though. maybe a little humiliating, sure, but not wrong. not dishonest.
you suspect that gojo may be looking at you, out of the corner of his eye, but you aren’t sure. after all, you’re vehemently avoiding his gaze — a little embarrassed by your own sincerity. 
he doesn’t know how to respond. you’re being strangely unpredictable, today, and it makes him feel unsure of himself. your tone is soft, almost friendly. he only ever hears it when you’re talking to shoko or geto.
not learning his lesson, gojo opts to tease you again. as always. afraid to let the silence linger for too long. it’s a halfhearted attempt, though, more of a vaguely amused huff than anything. 
”what, got a crush on me or somethin’?”
this time, you don’t scoff, or roll your eyes, or give him an earnest fuck right off. you only chuckle, in a way that almost borders on fond. you’re not one to tease, contrary to the boy on your left, but your words are teasing even still. ”i have better taste than that.” 
gojo should be irked, should grumble and bite back, but you don’t give him the chance to. 
”i just… you know,” you taste the words on your tongue. ”i still think you’re annoying. and childish.” gojo huffs, and your lips curl up. ”but i really don’t dislike you.”
you take a sip of the strawberry milk, before continuing, hoping it’ll make the words easier to say. ”… and it’s not like i know you, anyway. so i’m sorry for making a bunch of assumptions.” 
a pause. for a split second, you quiet down, a little flustered. gnawing on your bottom lip.
”… that’s all i wanted to say,” you exhale, gaze glued to your lap. feeling a heat on your nape.
as always, you can’t tell what gojo’s thinking. out of the corner of your eye, you try to catch a glimpse of his face, but you have a nagging suspicion that it wouldn’t tell you anything anyway. his eyes are hidden by those sunglasses, after all, acting as a wall between him and the rest of the world. so you don’t know if the words reach him, if they mean anything at all. 
but you hope they do. even as you brush cherry petals and non-existent dust off your lap, and get up to leave.
gojo just sits there, for a second, deep in contemplation. 
he tries to bury a certain thought, before it has a chance to reach his frontal cortex — before he has to accept that it exists. only this time, he doesn’t succeed. the words die before they reach his tongue, but he hears them, in his head. he hears them loud and clear.
and he flushes under the light of the sun.
(i don’t really dislike you, either.) 
what actually ends up leaving his throat is merely a scoff, so faint he doubts you even hear it. 
”whatever,” he mutters, hoping it’ll come across as cool and unbothered. it doesn’t.
one last smile reaches your face, before you head back inside. gojo stays behind, on the bench, lost in thought.
tossing the now-empty carton into a trash can, you try to calm yourself down. feeling oddly excited, as if you’ve reached something, the start of an eventual conclusion. something worth cherishing.
you still don’t understand satoru gojo. but you get the impression that you just grew a little bit closer to him. there are layers to him, more than what meets the eye, hidden behind those sunglasses of his. you can only imagine what the world might look like, from his perspective. what you look like, reflected in his eyes, a blur of colours and facial features, sparks and dots.
you wonder if the whole world looks like a painting, to him. 
you feel a little ashamed, for thinking you had him all figured out. a spoiled, self-centered rich kid, with no functional empathic abilities. it might be partially true, but you’ll have to reevaluate the statement. to see how well it holds up. you still don’t think his emotional intelligence is anything to gawk at, but you may have been underestimating it. it’s there, despite everything — in those eyes, in that single carton of strawberry milk.
you think there’s a certain maturity, there, in spite of his childishness. or perhaps the latter is no more than a product of the former, a way for damaged children to dress their wounds. the way he carries himself and the way he speaks both seem a bit forced. like he’s used to performing, used to moving in a way that demands attention. all eyes on him, at all times. 
you think that sounds just a little exhausting. 
even as you return to the safety of your dorm room, you still can’t help but wonder. there’s still so much you don’t know. despite the moment you shared, and the connection you think may be growing between you, he’s still so out of reach. almost lonely, in a way. you wonder what he looks like, when he’s alone, when there’s no one around to perform for. 
(what is an actor without their audience?)
and, despite everything, after all is said and done — you really, really don’t understand satoru gojo. not at all, not in the slightest. not one bit.
but you think you’d maybe like to.
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biceratops7 · 1 year
Text
I’m gonna SCREAM-
We’ve already established as a fandom that Metatron could teach a masterclass on gas lighting, but I wanna talk about how he specifically validates the things Aziraphale cares for while simultaneously devaluing them under the surface.
First off, this moment?
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Tells us everything we need to know. It sets the scene for exactly the games Metatron is playing. He makes Muriel feel important while openly insulting them (flat out calling them stupid), aka seamlessly reinforcing the idea that they’re less than to both them and anyone else in the room. He knows he can get away with this easily, he knows that Muriel, lonely, overlooked little Muriel, will be completely distracted by the fact that someone so important is taking an interest in them.
This is already horribly clever, but then later on you realize it’s doing even MORE heavy lifting when he appoints Muriel to run the bookshop. “See? What’s important to you is what’s important to me! I’ve graciously taken the time to ensure your beloved shop is looked after by Muriel. You know, the dim one!” …let’s suffice it to say he’s ensnared too birds with one net for this one, and that a pattern is already starting to arise.
So when Metatron says Gabriel came to Aziraphale because he’s a “natural leader” and “doesn’t just tell people what they wanna hear”? Yah he’s full of shit. Aziraphale struggles with his sense of purpose when he doesn’t have someone or something guiding him, and for thousands of years he’s been terrified of sharing his true feelings and opinions to 90% of people he’s known. Completely just trying to butter him up. Wanna know the real reason Gabriel seeks asylum with Aziraphale?
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Exactly this. Gabriel just says so point blank. It’s not because Aziraphale is this person for him, it’s because despite knowing nothing, he has this instinct that Aziraphale is the only one who can possibly understand why Gabriel did what he did. He is, I mean as far as we know, the only other angel who has fallen in love. (In general, let alone with a demon.)
But nope, can’t have that. We can throw the promise of restoring Crowley in the mix to sweeten the pot, but we can’t acknowledge why he’d want that so badly in the first place. So now it’s cause they work so well together. We can praise the angel for the fallen archangel Gabriel himself coming to him protection and guidance, give him a gold star. But we couldn’t DARE imply that it was by virtue of Aziraphale’s courage to choose earthly love over heavenly. How Gabriel didn’t need a leader, but a friend who’s truly known the joys of adoring that “particular person” and the pain of needing to hide it.
Cause then Aziraphale would start getting crazy ideas, like that his silly little human feelings have a great deal of worth. That they have the power to inspire, form cracks in the institution, fundamentally weaken what has controlled and harmed him. We wouldn’t want him to know the true value of the cards he holds when he has the ace in a match against you, now would we? After all…
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Metatron uses this ingeniously sinister tactic of taking away Aziraphale’s choice while giving the illusion that he’s actually opening up doors. Notice how he tells Aziraphale he would have the authority to do something as extraordinary as turn a demon into an angel, yet he never once puts the much simpler alternative of just working with a demon on the table? The sleight of hand here is that he’s being offered the opportunity to freely be with Crowley… but he’s already freely with him as is, no bargain to be made. In fact he fought to be. Metatron disappears this accomplishment right before our eyes, while seamlessly maintaining the illusion to Aziraphale that he (Zira) is in control.
He sets Aziraphale up for failure by only providing the option he knows Crowley will not only decline but be deeply hurt by. It’s all so cleverly planned. Once this plays out exactly how he wants, he delivers the finishing blow by diminishing Crowley and his “damned fool questions”. Suddenly doing a complete 180 and emphasizing how foolish and troublesome he is. Metatron was offering Crowley by Aziraphale’s side as The Carrot. Now he’s telling Aziraphale it was stupid of him to want The Carrot, un-heavenly.
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Aziraphale’s life, love, happiness, it’s all not only a massive inconvenience for Metatron but a liability. He has successfully taken a weapon from Aziraphale’s hands he didn’t even know he had. Metatron sees the writing on the wall, and he wants it contained.
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transmascissues · 7 months
Note
it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?
first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.
one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.
this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.
oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.
basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.
but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!
at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.
just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.
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togament · 4 months
Note
as much as i love cute festival fluff with togame (someone else pls send in an ask for it lmao), consider confessing to togame on valentines with homemade chocolate since he’s a big foodie & he, more than anyone, would appreciate the effort 🥰
i can see him maybe not clocking the intention right away either bc he didn’t have friends until shishitoren (+ find it hard to believe anyone would be interested in him like that) & the thought of choji of all ppl making him realize it’s romantic bc the chocolate reader gave him “wasn’t as nice looking as kame-chan’s :<” is soooo funny to me
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GHHRHRJRH GNAWING ON YOUR ARM THIS IS ADORABLE!!!!! kinda teared up a bit ngl. imagining a soft blushy togame got me in my feels. i feel like (Also yes pls someone send in a cute festival date hc with togame/any of your faves!!!! I have things to say about our turtle guy in particular but we can do your other faves too. idk i'm in a yappy mood.
“you’re finally ready to confess to togame after mulling it over for months. you even made chocolates for him to (hopefully) immediately devour. things don’t go quite as planned though.”
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : none just fluff, gender neutral reader, reader’s jelly and an overthinker, togame’s in looooove, choji’s a little shit (affectionate)
full story under the cut! fully SFW.
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standing at the gates of the ori, you bounce on your heels in sheer nervousness, eyes tirelessly darting around in search for togame with two chocolate boxes in one hand. one smaller one and one huge and beautifully decorated one. god your heart’s beating a mile a minute and your brain’s working overtime. what if he got into trouble? a possibility. what if someone’s confessing to him? of course someone would. he’s tall, handsome, kind, can cook—what’s not to love?
what if someone asked him out on a date? shit.
..what if HE asked someone out on a date? double shit.
oh god. oh no. your form visibly slumps at the thought, doubtlessly breaking your own heart again. but hey, on the bright side, you could eat your own chocolates, right? you made them extra delicious too, making them into flavors you know he’d like. you even snuck in some ramune flavored sweets for him.
…you know you’d hate eating chocolates for the rest of your life after this.
but then, the sun in the form of choji, shines through the dark clouds in your mind. your body visibly straightens back up when you hear his distinct laughter and endless yapping along with the soft crinkles of cellophane and boxes. listening even closer, you can hear togame speak and get promptly cut off by the smaller boy.
breathe. he’s here.
shit— what if those boxes you heard were all his and choji was just carrying them with him? what if he already gave someone a kiss today? what if he’d take your box of chocolates and hand it to his date instead?? what if—
“oh hey it’s bunny.”
you were just ready to walk away when you were stopped in your tracks by his deep voice calling out the nickname he so annoyingly picked for you. even when you’re looking away you could just hear him smiling. you turn, giving both boys a slight wave before you’re met with the absolute mountain of chocolates choji and him are carrying.
you’re not the only one who wanted to confess to him then.
“hey uh-mind adding these to your pile?” you say, failing to mask the sadness in your voice. you catch yourself though, immediately correcting yourself. “got these for you guys. no biggie, really.” you made the chocolates. granted the smaller box’s for choji and it’s way less decorated compared to togame’s. more ‘default’ chocolate box than ‘I have liked you for the longest time please accept my love’ chocolate box. you yap some more, digging your own grave, “these were on sale today so… thought you guys might want a snack.” you didn’t get them on sale. hell you made each and every single one by hand for the both of them to suit their tastes. god knows how much time you and him have spent talking about cooking and food.
but then choji gasps.
“hey! lying’s not nice!” choji chirps at you, dropping the boxes of chocolates on the ground unceremoniously. togame could only look on since his hands are already occupied with even more of choji’s valentines chocolates. the smaller boy looks at you suspiciously, albeit playfully. "you made these, didn't you?"
fuck. he noticed. you stare at choji like a deer in headlights now, too stunned to utter a single word.
he eyes the beautifully painted box in your hands and you pray for the ground to just eat you.
“iiiiis that one mine?” choji points at the larger box, eyes shining. togame looks on though, silent but his mind’s racing too. little did you know the chocolates they were carrying were all choji’s, given by his droves of admirers and friends alike. while togame didn’t mind not getting any chocolates this year and all those years before that, he finds himself hoping.
please don’t let that be choji’s.
“Wh-no! it’s-“ “-kame-chan’s? waaah his box is way larger and prettier than mine is!” he cuts you off, eyeing the boxes as you hold them in your hand. still, he takes his smaller box from you. “why’d you give kame-chan a bigger one? you like him or something?”
a pause.
“is that why you’re blushing?” he prods, wiggling a finger at you. "is that why you're blushing too, kame-chan?", he adds, wiggling two fingers at the both of you.
you could just explode at that moment.
“HUH?? What??? n-no! I mean YES-“ “oh so you do?” choji adds, cutting you off again. Taking togame’s larger box of chocolates from your hands, he shuffles through the chocolate boxes he dropped on the floor, handing the taller, now stunned boy his first legit box of valentines chocolates.
you three are blanketed in silence. with the exception of choji’s giggles.
"choji wait-" “welp, I’ll be in the ori!” he brightly exclaims, swiftly taking all of the chocolate boxes from togame’s arms and off the floor, leaving him with the single, most prettiest one in the bunch.
yours.
choji leaves you both with a playful wink and you both stand there, glancing at each other and fumbling awkwardly.
silently, he opens your chocolate box and is immediately greeted with a beautifully arranged selection of chocolates and sweets. his gaze flits from the box, to your reddened face and back again. you motion for him to eat. and he does.
he didn’t think it was possible to like you even more.
he pops one of the ramune shaped bites in his mouth and his eyes immediately widen in delight behind his amber sunglasses. pushing the glasses up his forehead to meet your eyes properly, you fail to tear away your eyes in time.
“sure you made these yerself, bunny? could've fooled me. these are restaurant quality. ” he says in between bites. his tone’s something he only uses around you and choji. vulnerable, safe, gently.
your heart’s beating way too fast for your own good.
“mhm. thought you might like that one because y’know… ramune and all.” you respond, “your favorite, right?”
with an acknowledging hum, he closes the box, twisting and admiring the beautifully decorated container, a forest green box speckled with gold and ornate lines. you really set the bar way up high for him. he smiles softly to himself and you swear you see his cheeks redden a tint.
“…can ya teach me to make them?” his voice grows softer, just enough for you to hear him. “how’s next weekend?” as soon as the words escape his lips, his heartbeat rises up to his throat. what if you didn't want to? he's never done this before, making the first move. he still can't fully grasp why you'd go so far as make something for him, someone who's only respected out of fear, someone who's wronged so many for just one cause. it haunts him sometimes. the Shishitoren could forgive him but he can't forgive himself. why would you?
you'll convince him soon enough. make him see what you see in him, what others see in him.
now's not that time though. your mind’s already in another dimension, thinking about him giving his date YOUR dessert with the recipe YOU made for him. letting out a soft disappointed sigh before opening your mouth, you respond, “maybe I could.“
“Maybe huh.” he echoes you, arching a brow at you with a small frown ghosting his lips.
“yeah, maybe. I could send the recipe over to you if you want. you could try making it with your date-“
“date? I want to make them for you next month, doofus. only you.” he retorts, wanting to get his point across. he realizes you're overthinking again. he's assuring you. meeting your eyes, he sees the shade of red on your cheeks darken. you look like a fish out of water, mouth agape and eyes wide. extending a hand towards you, he nudges your chin up with his knuckle. “y’know what that means right? I like you.”
a small gasp escapes your lips.
“you do..?” a pause. “why?”
he laughs, playfully pinching your cheek.
“I just do, cutie. always have. I take it you like me too?”
you nod. do it properly this time.
“yeah. I really do.”
he smiles, dimples deepening on his cheeks. he looks so relieved you like him back. you swear you feel like you’re on cloud nine — is this really happening?
“it’s a date then." he says as he reaches over to pat your head. "you better not flake on me, bun. Else I’d take that imaginary date of mine out instead.”
scoffing, you push his chest and he lets out a soft 'oof'.
“you wouldn't dare—“
“ARE YOU GUYS DATING YET??”
choji screams from the distance, the entire Shishitoren gang’s staring at you both from the ori, desperately waiting for the both of you to finish. they've been watching you both the entire time with bated breath. his friends are all cheering him on.
a pause.
togame reaches over to hold your hand, intertwining his long fingers through yours. hoots and hollers echo as he waves them off with a hand.
you could only smile up at him, squeezing his hand into yours.
he squeezes back.
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a/n: hehehehe self doubt togame making me soft. MAKE HIM FEEL WORTHY GOD DAMN IT. DATE HIM AND DATE HIM HARD.
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lynk-zee · 4 months
Note
hey lynnie,
Ok so there's this tweet "(my gf can) dress slutty I can fight" by a guy right. I don't necessarily think he means dress slutty on purpose but like if his gf wants to express her fashion in a more sensual way, he supports and defends her right to do so. Could you do a scenario where MC/reader know she looks good and flaunts it and the lads don't mind? They're also willing to step in and remind any entitled creep to stay in their place. I'm really curious to see Rafayel's thoughts on this but all would be great.
“Dress Slutty, I Can Fight.”
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Rafayel always wants you to feel good about yourself. He’ll buy you lavish jewelry, designer clothes, and ask you to give him a fashion show so he can see them on you. That being said, fashionable clothes sometimes is less about the type of fabric and more about the lack there of. And he’s here for it! He walks with you on his arm with pride, wearing whatever you want, flaunting your assets, and strutting your stuff. He thinks you’re gorgeous, like a work of art! And art is meant to be admired.
Though, when it comes to creeps checking you out longer than appropriate, he gets a bit protective. If he notices someone checking out your ass in that skimpy little outfit of yours, he cop a squeeze, smirking right at the perp. As if saying “look what I have that you don’t”
If his glare doesn’t deter the creep from looking at you, Rafayel will call him out in front of everyone.
“Do you mind? I know my partners hot as fuck but keep your eyes to yourself, damn!”
Usually it doesn’t escalate from there, the perp feeling thoroughly embarrassed from being called out like that in public. But if it does, Rafayel will handle it.
“It’s okay, babe. I can fight”
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Zayne absolutely loves spoiling you with the money he makes as a surgeon. Which mostly consists of clothes! Whatever you want, just point and he’ll get you it every color. Absolutely loves when you dress however you want. His main goal in life is for you to live as comfortably as possible. So if looking all dolled up in pretty makes you happy, go for it!
When you’re dressed up, he’d always have his hand on the small of your back, guiding you this way and that under his careful watch. He’s gotta keep his baby safe. If someone is staring at you for two long, they’d be frozen solid by Zayne’s evol.
Just kidding. More like frozen solid by his icy glare. Much like Rafayel, Zayne would make it public because he knows that most people will get intimidated by a large crowd.
“Could you not stare at my partner? We are trying to enjoy our night out.”
If the creeps too persistent, he’ll clench his jaw and place his jacket on you.
“Sorry, dear— could you give me a moment? That man over there seems like he wants to talk.”
Zaddy
In all seriousness, Zayne really wouldn’t resort to violence because he has standards to uphold. But he definitely would stand his ground and tell the creep off. Your comfort is his utmost priority. He won’t let some filth make you feel self-conscious.
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Xavier’s all for your slutty era. You look beautiful, he’s enjoying the view, it’s a win-win in his books. What he doesn’t enjoy is the amount of unwanted attention you garner when you dress up. Yes, it’s not your fault that you’re beautiful, he would never fault you for that. He’s just sick of the guys staring as if they have the right to. Absolutely not.
So, he marks the shit out of you. Your neck is covered in hickeys, branding you as his. They can look all they want, but with his arm around your waist and his marks on your neck, you’re his and his only. Wear less, he doesn’t care. He’ll just make sure his hand print on your ass peaks out from under your shorts.
If it gets too bad, we know Xavier would step in right away to stop it. He’s pretty blunt without meaning to, so when it’s intentional—sorry to any guy who even breathes in your direction. Sometimes you have to step in though because you know it’s game over if Xavier swings. But Xav will always protect you, so dress however you want. He just wants you to be happy.
“Ignore those creeps, my love. I’ll take care of it.
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a-hazbin-reader · 7 months
Note
I know I already said this in the comments but I would like to officially request a spinoff oneshot (hc works too) of that pregnant reader post where Lucifer is just trying to talk to his unborn Godchild and then Alastor comes in and is like "fuck off"
If you got other stuffs going on feel free to ignore this, just shooting my shot
Welp-
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: None I think??
Description: ☝️⬆️
Your pregnancy wouldn't be possible without Lucifer. Sure, you and Alastor had to do a lot of the work, but Lucifer... made it happen
So you were grateful to him and tried your best to show it, though Alastor was much less kind
Lucifer was also an experienced parent so you would come to him for advice sometimes
Which Alastor always hated, but he never stopped you
When he wasn't fighting with Alastor, then he was genuinely nice to be around, though you know Alastor did start it
When Lucifer names himself the godfather of your child, you don't see any reason to deny him that title
Alastor does though-
"All I'm saying is, we could pick someone better to be the godfather-"
"Alastor! We wouldn't have this chance without him!"
"Uh, you two know I can hear you, right?"
Regardless, you like the guy and don't mind when he starts talking to your baby bump
"Hewwo, widdle baby! Aren't you gonna be a big one~ Yes, you are~"
It is rather big for how far along you are...
You can't help but laugh and be amused at Lucifer's childish antics as he talks to your unborn child
You do gasp in surprise when your baby suddenly kicks at the sound of his voice, apparently taking a liking to the king of hell
Which of course makes Lucifer want to feel the baby kick and who are you to tell him no? Especially when he's giving you those puppy eyes
"Aren't you a strong one~? You gotta be gentle or you'll hurt your mama~"
His words DO NOT help and the kicks only get stronger, almost in warning of something-
Of course, that's when Alastor walks in, and you can practically see the vicious thoughts swirling in his head
He tuts as he comes around to rest by your side, giving your forehead a quick kiss before glaring down at Lucifer
"And just what is going on in here, my dear?"
You've got to calm your husband before he does anything crazy-
"Lucifer was talking to the baby when they suddenly started kicking, so he's trying to calm them down.."
Lucifer is still just cooing and feeling the bump, completely oblivious to the conversation around him
"Ah, I see..."
Lucifer doesn't see the piano that drops on him, Alastor suddenly standing in his place and rubbing your baby bump
"There there~ Papa is here to save you from that little nuisance~"
He starts singing a little song to the baby too, gazing at you with warm eyes as he rests his cheek on you
You'd be upset with him if him rubbing your stomach wasn't so damn soothing...actually managing to calm the baby..
You could almost fall asleep like this...
What were you so worried about again?
"YOU TACKY PIECE OF SHIT!"
...and this is where you take your leave, waddling out of the room to go find some snacks
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For you 🤌
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hqbaby · 3 months
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twenty — wheels on the bus
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mess it up — gojo x reader & sukuna x reader
⁀➴ when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to. when the love of your life falls for someone else, you decide to move on—by pretending to date your best friend, the campus fuckboy.
previous — masterlist — next
word count. 2.3k content. profanity, mentions of sex
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The rickety bus makes its steady way back to campus, creaking beneath the weight of the people inside, their things, the silence that they share. Save for Kento occasionally giving the driver directions, no one says a thing, everyone averts their eyes, refuses to acknowledge one another.
You’re sitting in the first row, squished to the window by Utahime’s sleeping form. Through the bus’ mirror, you can see that the rest of your friends dispersed in the seats behind you, most of them trying to stay as far away from each other as possible. 
Maki and Nobara are huddled somewhere in the middle, Maki awake and alert, Nobara dozing off. Satoru sits in between two couples, nervously glancing at Kimi sitting a row away. Sukuna is in the back, trying to look past the rows to catch a glimpse of you.
If anyone told you three days ago this is how things would end up, you wouldn’t have believed them. Who would?
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“I’m gonna leave you here!” Sukuna calls out into your apartment. He stands at your door with his bag, tapping his foot impatiently and checking the time on his phone every few seconds or so. “Seriously, tiger! We’re gonna be late!”
You stumble out of your bedroom and down your hallway, dragging your bag behind you as you beam at your best friend. “I’m here!” you say brightly. “Let’s go!”
Sukuna takes your bag from you, despite your protests. “Just let me take your bag! The bus is gonna leave us behind!”
You giggle as you lock your door and rush after him. “Why are you so worried the bus is gonna leave us?” you say. “Is it because of that time in eleventh grade when you—”
“No, it’s not because of that,” he cuts you off, shooting you a nasty look for even suggesting that. “I just don’t like being late to things.”
You raise your brow at him. “Since when?”
You know Sukuna. You’ve known him since he was in high school and showing up to classes late, always turning his assignments in after the deadline, always materializing at plans you made with your friends thirty minutes after you were supposed to meet up. You know Sukuna, and you know that he is anything but punctual. You doubt the word even exists in his dictionary.
And yet here he is. Coming to pick you at your apartment an hour earlier than he said he would come. Telling you to move a little faster, pick up the pace. Doing everything in his power to make you stop doing unnecessary things like washing your mugs or folding your laundry—even going so far as to do those things for you so you can focus on getting your things ready.
“You’re acting really weird,” you tell him as you get in the passenger seat. When he shoots you a confused look, you laugh. “Don’t deny it. Do you just wanna ski that bad?”
He rolls his eyes as he starts the engine. He ignores you for a bit, driving ahead, thinking over his words very carefully. Eventually, he decides to just say, “I don’t want your friends to have a bad first impression of me.”
That makes you snort. “You know basically everyone going on this trip,” you remind him. “Aren’t you and Mahito friends? Actually, best buds last I heard. This is hardly a first impression, and I highly doubt it will be a bad one.”
“But it’s the first time they’re seeing me as your boyfriend,” he says, stressing the last words as that makes him sound less crazy. “I don’t care what they think about me, but I do care what they think about your boyfriend. There’s no way in hell I’m embarrassing you.”
You can’t help but coo at his words—teasingly, but still. Who knew Sukuna could be this sweet?
“‘Kuna, you big softie,” you say, a shit-eating grin on your face. He scowls at you and you chuckle, your hand reaching over to pat his shoulder. “You could never embarrass me. Besides, if we’re late, they’ll know it’s my fault. I’ve made all of them late at some point in their lives.”
He looks at you warily. “You’re just saying that.”
“I’m not,” you tell him. You raise one of your hands in promise. “I swear, I’ve made Kento late at least three times in the last year. He will not fault you if you end up late because of me.”
It takes him a minute, but Sukuna eventually seems to buy your words. “Okay,” he says. “But we’re not gonna be late.”
You giggle, pinching his cheek. “You’re so cute when you’re concerned about what everyone thinks about you.”
He glances at you, a small smile on his lips. “Only for you.”
When you get to the bus, Kento is standing by the door, looking very concerned. He sees you coming over and gestures to you to move faster, frowning.
“I’ll deal with the bags, you go deal with that,” Sukuna says, taking your bag from you. He pecks you on the cheek, a gesture that sends your heart pounding. There’s just something about how casual, how natural it all seems that makes you appreciate it all the more.
“What’s up, Kento?” you ask as you approach the man. “Did you forget to pack your emergency underwear?”
He glares at you, tapping the clipboard that he’s holding on his hand. “We’re in crisis.”
You look around, at the mostly empty parking lot, at the sun shining brightly, the trees swaying gently. “I don’t see the crisis,” you tell him. “Mind pointing it out?”
He groans, burying his face in his hand at your antics. “Will you please just help me?”
You grin. “Well, since you asked so nicely,” you say. “What’s the crisis, Kento?”
“A few extra people showed up,” he says, showing you his clipboard with a floorplan of the place you’ve rented. “There are enough beds for them and everything, but what with all the little stipulations—Mahito can’t sleep in the same room as Aoi, you can’t be in the same room as Kimi, all that shit—I can’t figure out the sleeping arrangements.”
“Who said I can’t be in the same room as Kimi?”
Kento frowns. “Well, no one, but I assumed—”
“Okay, okay, I get it,” you tell him, smiling. It irks you a little to know that everyone thinks you’re not mature enough to be able to sleep in the same room as your ex’s girlfriend, but you know that they mean well. “Give me the floorplan. I’ll figure it out.”
He shoots you a look, unconvinced. “You will?”
“Yeah!” you say, reaching out to take the clipboard. When he doesn’t hand it over, you try and get it yourself. It takes a bit of force prying the thing from his hand, but he gives in eventually. “Come on, Kento. You gotta enjoy the trip too, you know.”
“You’ll figure it out?”
You nod, leading him onto the bus. “I’ll figure it out,” you say, pushing him ahead of you and placing him in his seat at the front. “Now, relax. Be a stupid college kid for once, yeah?”
Utahime, who’s sitting beside him, watches your exchange with amusement. “Trying to get the big guy to take a break?”
You nod at her, the two of you treating the twenty-one-year-old man between you like a toddler. “He’s gonna have a blast. Aren’t you, Ken?”
He narrows his eyes at you. “Stop patronizing me.”
“Not patronizing, just giving you the break you deserve,” you tell him. You tap the clipboard on his shoulder. “I’ll pass this over to you when I’m done. Utahime, make sure he stops working.”
“I’ll try my best,” she tells you, laughing as you can basically see the steam pouring out of Kento’s ears. “You should go find your seat.”
You nod, ruffling Kento’s hair before you turn to the rest of the bus. You find Sukuna waving at you, pointing at your seat beside him, and you make your way down the aisle over to him.
As you walk, someone grabs your arm.
“Well, well, well, fancy seeing you here.”
The voice has your blood boiling.
“Naoya, what the fuck are you doing here?” you basically hiss, looking down at the man smirking up at you from his seat.
He shrugs and it takes everything in you to not punch him right then and there. “I love skiing,” he tells you. “Who am I to turn down a fun little trip?”
Suguru, sitting beside him, does you the pleasure of punching his housemate’s arm for you. “Stop being annoying,” he tells him, then he turns to you, apologetic. “He found out about it through Satoru.”
You soften a little for Suguru’s sake, but you’re still clearly on the defensive. “Oh,” you say. “And you came to babysit him?”
Suguru chortles, much to Naoya’s dismay. “Something like that,” he says. “I’ll try and keep him away from you.”
“Thanks,” you tell him. You glance back at Sukuna who’s watching this whole thing from a distance with a raised brow. “I should get going,” you tell Suguru. “Enjoy the trip.”
“We will!” Naoya responds for him as you snarl at him before heading over to your boyfriend.
“What was that all about?” Sukuna asks as he scoots over to the window seat. He has his eyes trained on Suguru and Naoya, the former now basically trying to suffocate the latter as Naoya continues to pester him.
“Just friends of Satoru,” you say, quieter than you intended.
Ever since you witnessed that confrontation between Satoru and Sukuna at the sign-up booth, you’ve steered clear of mentioning your ex to your best friend. You like to think that the two of you can talk about anything, from that one time Sukuna peed himself before a math final to the boy you were obsessed with in high school, but this seems to be a sore spot. One you’re not willing to unpack just yet.
“Oh, okay,” Sukuna says. He’s trying to appear unbothered, but you can see through his whole act. He places his hand on top of yours and squeezes it. “You’d tell me if they were bothering you, right?”
You smile at him, leaning your head on his shoulder. “Definitely,” you tell him. “And Suguru’s fine honestly. He’s been very respectful, always has been. It’s Naoya who’s…”
“A bit of an ass?”
You chuckle. “Yeah, something like that.” Deciding to change the subject, you place Kento’s clipboard on your lap and sigh. “Help me figure out the sleeping arrangements.”
Sukuna leans over to see the floorplan. He hums. “I think we should take the bedroom all for ourselves,” he says in a low voice. “Don’t think I can go three days without fucking you.”
You feel your face heat up and you slap his thigh. “You’re such a horndog.”
“Can you blame me? My girlfriend’s gorgeous.” He presses his lips to the side of your neck. “You know you’re beautiful, right?”
“I think I’ve heard something to that effect,” you giggle as he kisses your skin. You try to push his head away, but your boyfriend is relentless. You whisper, “‘Kuna, we’re in public.”
“So?”
Laughing, you manage to finally push him off. When you see the pout on his face, you give him a quick kiss and pat his cheek. “If you really wanna make a good impression on everyone, you can’t fuck me on the bus.”
“Fine,” he huffs. “Totally fucking you at some point during the trip though.”
You kiss him one more time, rolling your eyes. “Whatever you say, ‘Kuna.”
When you lean back into your seat, you freeze at the two people standing in front of you.
“Oh, hi,” Kimi is the first to speak, offering you a polite smile.
You manage to smile back. “Hi,” you say. “Are you, uh, are you guys ready for the trip?”
Satoru has his eyes on Sukuna, his gaze is hard. He turns to you and smiles too, albeit a little tight. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, we are.”
“Great,” you say, letting out an awkward laugh. You take Sukuna’s hand in yours. “I guess we’ll see you guys around.”
Kimi nods. “You sure will.”
As the two of them make their way to their seats in the back, you look over at your boyfriend, his cheery demeanor from earlier now reduced to a pensive look, one you’ve never really seen on him before.
You squeeze his hand, grabbing his attention. “Are you okay?”
His eyes dart over to you, wide, before he nods. “Yeah, tiger, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” you ask. You know better than to pry, but you have a feeling this is something you need to know. Need to ask. “Can you tell me why you and Satoru are so hostile with each other?”
He seems to be taken aback by that, but he tries not to let it faze him. “What do you mean?” he asks. “We’ve never liked each other.”
“Sure,” you say. “But you’ve been particularly weird recently. Did something happen?”
The words seem to be trapped in Sukuna’s mouth as he struggles to get the right things out. Eventually, he just settles for, “Nope. He’s probably just jealous that I have you now.”
You don’t believe him, but you say, “Okay… If you say so.”
You drop the conversation and decide to focus on fixing the sleeping arrangements instead. You have a feeling there’s more to this story that you know, and now you find yourself scared to find that out.
You glance over at your boyfriend with his head leaned against the window, at Naoya a few rows in front of you—never a good sign—and Satoru a few seats behind you, Kimi tucked under his arm.
This is gonna be a long three days.
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notes. IT'S THE SKI TRIP!!!! ARE WE READY??? i don't think i am 🫠
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Steve wakes up around three or four in the morning almost every night. He’s always careful getting out of bed. Small movements, slow footsteps. Minimal bones cracking. Doesn’t want to wake Eddie. Not that he needs to be this careful because his boyfriend could sleep through several natural disasters (and if someone bothered to wake him in this scenario, he’d put an impotency curse on them or some equally fucked-up shit). 
But that’s one of the reasons why they work. Not because of the sad-dick curse thing. They just exist on different sides of the scale. The raging insomniac and the deepest sleeper known to mankind. It balances out in the weirdest possible way.
Still… he’s always careful. Can never be too careful.
Steve doesn’t really do much when he wakes up at this ungodly hour. He sort of walks around their duplex, drinks a glass of water, opens a window to breathe in that pre-sunrise air. It fills his lungs up differently than normal air. At least, it feels like it does.
Like less people are breathing it in. Like he can take up space without feeling selfish. The logic doesn’t really add up but whatever. Concepts like logic and science are overrated at four in the morning.
After another lap around the place, he slides back into the covers, drapes an arm over Eddie’s waist. His t-shirt is rumpled up to his chest, so Steve is met with linen-warm skin. His fingers curve into Eddie’s sides, pulling himself closer. 
Steve yawns, breathing out all of his pre-sunrise air. Inhales the scent of his boyfriend instead. Smiles like an idiot into the pillow because it’s totally a fair trade.
And Eddie… well, he doesn’t even budge - doesn’t even stir when Steve settles in next to him. He just continues to wheeze through his nose, mouth slightly open. Not quite a snore, but Steve will probably tease him about it in the morning regardless. 
This right here. This makes Steve’s shitty sleep cycle worth it.
The sun pokes through the window blinds. Eddie pokes Steve’s cheek. Too much poking going on for Steve who definitely didn’t get enough sleep, per usual.
“You got up last night.” Eddie mumbles, still lazily poking him. 
“How’d you know?”
“Bed felt different.”
Oh. The way Eddie says it. A crash of honesty. His voice sounds weathered, unused from sleeping. Barely awake. It sort of hits Steve’s heart like a crime he didn’t even know he was capable of committing. 
Honestly, he doesn’t get why last night would be any different. Steve gets up most nights, not just last night. But Eddie looks particularly wounded by this (new) realization, so Steve probably shouldn’t point that out right now. Maybe in the afternoon when Eddie is more alert. Less… offended.
“Well, I’m back now.” Steve grabs Eddie’s index finger, the one poking him, and places it over his own lips. Bites at it gently till Eddie pulls away in protest. He’s smiling as he swears. Lets out a string of half-hearted threats about how he’s gonna pour Steve’s hair supplies down the sink for such a vicious attack. 
It’s a little irresistible when Eddie gets like this. When he’s the pouty one instead of Steve. All he can think to do is reach out, curl his hand underneath Eddie’s chin and pull him in. Eddie moves so easily, gives up his one-sided fight long enough to kiss Steve. Hands running up his back, legs hooking around Steve’s thighs.
Drowsy, morning kisses are so good. So, so good. Their lips feel heavier, their motions feel thicker. Every touch is guided by pure need. Steve fucking needs this, to feel Eddie curving into him, arms framing his own, groaning every damn time they break away. It all makes Steve feel needed too. Needed by the guy who changed the trajectory of his life by asking Steve to ‘hang out or something’ two years ago. 
Or Something turned out to be absolutely everything.
“New rule.” Eddie huffs, drags his lips down Steve’s jaw. “For every hour you spend awake during the night, you owe me.”
Steve laughs. “I owe you, huh?”
“Mhmm. You owe me an extra hour of wallowing in bed together in the morning.”
“What about work?”
“The hours will have to rollover, I guess. Accrue interest.” Eddie lifts up from Steve’s neck, eyebrows raised. Clearly having too much fun with this. “We can hash out the details over coffee and burnt toast.”
Typically, Steve would play along, continue the little comedy routine that Eddie starts up. But he’s so damn tired from the lack of sleep and early fucking wake-up call. So instead, he tugs Eddie back down by his collar and whispers, “Whatever you say, baby.”
Because that’s what it boils down to. He’d do anything for Eddie to kiss him this deep, till their lips blister and their jaws ache. Steve would give every fragment of lovesick happiness in his heart, just to hear the way Eddie says his name all breathy and raw. 
He can’t say that out loud, dear god no. Eddie would mock his ass into next century. So Steve just hums into Eddie’s mouth, twists the collar of his shirt enough to permanently wrinkle it. They’re verging into that gray area between cable-approved makeout sessions and dry humping till the alarm goes off. If there wasn’t an alarm to worry about, Steve would already have Eddie’s boxers already his ankles and moaning his name the way he likes it best.
Whoever invented alarm clocks are the ultimate boner-killer.
Steve ducks his head into the crook of Eddie’s neck, lays a few quick kisses on top of his shoulder. Hopes that translates to, ‘I wanna suck you off till there’s nothing left, but I’m a boring fucking adult with a boring fucking job.’ 
The translation must be clear enough because Eddie rolls off of him and heads to the bathroom. Seems just as grumpy about it as Steve. Good. They can be cranky together.
When he comes back out, they get ready for their respective work shifts. Steve looks over, watches Eddie struggle with a tangled portion of his hair, before giving up.  Accepting defeat way faster than Steve ever would. “Uh, Eddie?” He tries his best to hide his snickering through the question.
“Yeah?”
“Why does it matter if I wake up sometimes?” Okay. Most times.
“You’re gone.” Eddie shrugs. “Simple as that.”
The reaction is too mellow for Eddie though. Shrugging and dismissiveness? Nah. He’s downplaying the shit out of whatever he’s feeling, and Steve’s not having it.
“What do you mean it’s simple?”
“It’s just… I don’t know. Doesn’t seem fair.” Eddie checks the clock, then sighs. “I want more time.”
More time? More time with Steve or more time in general? Either way, it doesn’t add up. They’re young - they have all the fucking time they could ever want. Also, they live together and have all the same friends. It’s not exactly a logical theory.
Then again, neither is Steve’s ‘pre-sunrise air supply’ theory. None of it makes sense. But at least they’re here. Wanting fresh air and each other. That’s enough logic for a lifetime.
“Hey.” Steve walks over and takes Eddie’s hand. He taps over his ring finger, the one that symbolizes something they can’t have. Not now, not in this society. Still. It means something. So he stares intently at it, rubs over the place where a ring might sit. Thinks that Eddie would pick out something bold. Something gaudy and perfectly him.
More time. Steve gets it, he does. He releases Eddie’s hand and nods. Smiles.
“I’ll steal us as much time as I can, Eddie Munson.”
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