#and i try to focus on those + tag negativity and criticisms and whatever else im supposed to be doing here! hello!

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

over the last 3 months i have seen myself called (and sometimes blocked for being assumed to be):

a racist/a bigot

homophobic/queerphobic/transphobic

ace/demi-phobic

a fascist

for expressing opinions such as "I found the characters and background stories in Veilguard weaker and less interesting than previous Dragon Age games" and "i miss the amount of tension and conflict that we used to get to explore with the player character depending on their in-game background and life history" and "i did not feel Lucanis' character and romance arc was fully satisfying while I was playing through it".

and since this all started we now have:

seen the entire DA staff laid off from Bioware

heard many now-former bioware devs talking about how toxic the workplace was during the development of DA4

seen allusions to Bioware/EA executives overriding plot/plans that the Dragon Age writers/devs would have preferred

extracted large amounts of cut content from the games that show things like increased emotional response range for Rook, or alternate endings for companion arcs (NOT concept art content, but actual written and even voice-recorded dialogue in the game files), or increased impact from decisions you could make in the game

IN ADDITION to what we ALREADY knew about how many times the game changed direction/leadership changed/the mid-process layoffs, etc.

so can we maybe not keep putting "people who come into the Dragon Age universe from a place of love and were ultimately disappointed with the latest installment" in the same trash bucket as "dudes on twitter who were mad there were trans/nonbinary characters in their AAA game". can we FUCKING as a community acknowledge that there are many reasons someone might not jive with a change in direction other than jumping to "they disagree with me so they must obviously be horrible people, whose opinions shouldn't be counted anyway" (<-if this is your first impulse maybe examine that also).

i am so tired and i am never gonna get an apology for any of it but NOW that a lot of the people who were posting/reblogging these sentiments are hearing/seeing all these other things add up. it's like suddenly now it's "acceptable" to have problems with aspect of Veilguard or want more from it, because the writers/devs have shown they probably did too during it's creation. whereas when I said these things right off the bat (because the only thing we had was the game we got. not the game we can pretend they wanted to make instead) it WASN'T because apparently expressing opinions on my personal tumblr counts as "being mean to/harassing devs who worked hard on the game" or, again, assumed I am a racist/bigot/facist/queerphobic.

you're allowed to still like Veilguard. it's fine i promise. you can love the game if you love it and my not loving it has nothing to do with your own relationship to this piece of media. i am happy there are people who truly can enjoy it without massive Caveats. but i am still seeing like 3-5 posts Per Week express those opinions and it is really destroying my love for the community i once enjoyed.

[mcmoth]

Dream SMP fandom etiquette

So. This post is probably too little, too late, considering the fandom and the issues I'm about to talk about have existed for so long now, and a lot of the people who need to hear this probably aren't on tumblr anyways, but I just wanted to dedicate a quick post to talk about fandom etiquette. Mostly pertaining to discourse, and interactions with people outside of our circle. These are just going to be my own personal thoughts, of course, but I felt it could be good to bring some of this to attention. So without further introduction:

Where to (not) talk about discourse:

Don't go into other streamer's vods to only focus about a different character. If you want to analyse, for example, c!Techno, do it in Techno's stream. Don't go into unrelated streams, like Tommy's, Tubbo's etc. to do it, even if they were a part of the event in question. This is, of course, with the exception if the character in question didn't stream their own pov. But otherwise, stay in your own space. This is to prevent cluttering a streamer's comments about unrelated discussion. To give further example: Tubbo's vod comments should primarily focus on Tubbo's character. Not Tommy's, Ranboo's, Techno's or whoever else's.

Don't start discourse in the comments of animatics. Seriously, stop that. Animatics aren't discussion boards. The comments are there to analyse and appreciate the video presented, not argue. It's especially rude if you pick a small detail, that wasn't even the focus of the animatic, or even a completely unrelated issue to rant out your frustrations about. To give examples: starting disc discourse in an animatic of Tommy talking to Wilbur, or rambling about how tragic Techno's character is in an animatic focused on clingy duo, etc.

This applies to fan songs as well.

Video essays are the exception to these rules. I think it's safe to say they're the place to bring your hot takes, if you really feel so inclined to argue in youtube comment sections (Though I'd personally advise to still keep the topic relevant).

Keep negativity out of fanfic comments. This isn't nearly as big of an issue as the last points, but I've seen it happen a couple times, so I'm deciding to mention it. Fanfics are written for fun. Even if you disagree with the characterisation or something else, unless the author is clear in accepting critique, keep criticism to yourself. And definitely don't rant about how you dislike a character unrelated to the fanfic. Sharing your thoughts on the fanfic itself is of course fine and welcomed, but when it turns from discussing the author's story to talking about how you dislike a character in canon, that's when it crosses a line. Example: comment talking about what you don't like about c!Tommy on a Bench Trio fanfiction.

When commenting on art, keep the feedback positive. Even if you dislike any presented character, keep that to yourself. Example: Don't say things like "I hate x character, but this art is good". You might think the author would feel honoured, but it's actually just hurtful.

How to deal with discourse:

This is gonna be a shorter section, because I think we all chose to do it in different ways, and that's valid. Also, it's just that I, myself, am still learning how to do this well, but I thought it could be good to try to lay it out anyways.

Try to scroll past takes you disagree with instead of arguing if you don't think you'd be able to keep your cool. Noone likes a random person yelling at them through a screen, and if you rant, you'll get an equally frustrated reply back, and noone will be happy. Either explain your point in a calm manner, or scroll past/ unfollow/block.

On the keeping cool thing, remember to just step away. Take a deep breath and calm yourself down before proceeding. To minimize the frustration you feel on a daily basis, filter tags, block people, avoid videos and youtube comment sections that you know will upset you, and leave certain internet spaces if you find yourself unable to escape negativity even with all those steps. Remember: in the end, it's all a game played by friends, a story, and your enjoyment of it lies in what you take from it. Abandon what makes you unhappy. Marie Kondo your fandom experience.

Also, here's your reminder, to whom this is relevant, to take care of yourself. Hydrate, eat, sleep, clean up, get fresh air, remember the things outside of all this. There's plenty to do outside of this fandom, and what you can do here can wait. There is no pressure, or obligation. Not for the content you create, not for the discussions you bring, not for responding to discourse, not for anything. Fandom is meant purely for fun, so take care <3

Interacting with people outside of the fandom:

This is something that I've seen a bit of talk about, and I thought I'd drop in my own thoughts on this as well. No matter the differences, we're all just trying to vibe, and I think these are important things to keep in mind to leave both sides better off:

Don't interact with hate posts. Just don't. You don't want to see them, they don't want to see you. Even if your response is lighthearted, their animosity is not. They will feel frustrated regardless, and the grudge will only grow. And if they're being agressive, calm discussion most likely won't happen even if you're being polite. Just leave it, please.

Correct misinformation calmly. I completely get how it can be frustrating to see blatant lies and all, but with our reputation, people will not listen if you're being antagonistic. Provide sources, explain, and leave it at that.

Don't be hateful, send death threats, or assume privilege or whatever else. That's stepping into the same shoes of the people you hate. Misunderstandings go both ways, and the fact of the matter is, I think most people who dislike DSMP, even the ones who are agressive about it, don't have their stance rooted in maliciousness. To expand on why the situation became what it is today, taken from a discussion on discord:

I think it's just a combination of Dream growing so insanely quickly + how internet spaces have changed over the years. When ccs like jackstepticeye or pewdiepie etc. grew popular, activism wasn't as prevalent and held to such importance. Now it's thankfully more talked about, but that also leads to Dream being more scrutinized in comparision. Add twitter trends and the general prevalence of the fandom, and you've got everyone feeling tired and frustrated and paranoid. People also tend not to fact check stuff, especially when it comes to celebrities and stuff they're not really interested in, so rumors spread fast.

And actually, I think there's absolutely valid reasons to be made uncomfortable by Dream SMP, either in it's creators, content or fandom, and there is, of course, stuff to criticise in general. The problem is the hate and misinformation and overexposure, but we are not going to solve any of that by being aggressive in return.

(This is, by the way, not talking about more serious cases. Like doxxing, or leaving gore images in hashtags, or similar instances. That's a whole different complicated issue that I don't feel qualified to tackle.)

And finally, don't overwhelm outsiders who merely mention the Dream SMP. Don't send asks asking them to watch it, don't write paragraphs explaining the lore, don't confuse them with inside jokes, just... Don't jump on people like that. Unless they're explicitly clear in wanting interaction and getting into the fandom, that kind of thing will just drive them away. This is in no way exclusive to the Dream SMP fandom, pretty much every fandom has people enthiastic to have more people involved, but since there are so unbelievably many of us, it's especially easy to go overboard with this stuff. Just... be polite, and don't pressure anyone. Be nice, please.

So.... ya! This would be it for this one, I think. Sorry that it's kinda long, thank you if you read it at all. Hope y'all have pleasant days ^^

[eagles-translated]

Analyzing the writing of Eagles

Here's a post I've been wanting to make for a while! I've expressed my thoughts on some of the storylines in previous posts, but I've never done a complete post on the writing of the whole show. I've divided this post into separate parts, focusing on each season and its plot points. Keep reading to see my analysis of the writing in Eagles! 👇 Word Count: 18k

If you've stumbled upon this post from the Young Royals or the Beartown tag (tagged them since I've drawn some parallels from those shows), here's a brief summary of what Eagles is, which you can watch with English subtitles here. This post contains Eagles spoilers from 1x01 - 3x10.

Eagles is a Swedish TV show that revolves around a few teenagers living in the Swedish ice hockey town Oskarshamn while experiencing friendship, love, and rivalry on the ice.

To start this off I would like to say that I have no experience with professional screenwriting and if anything, this is just a way for me to procrastinate on actually writing my own projects.

I love experiencing new stories and when I discover one I really like it's just natural for me to branch off with "what ifs" and to start wondering how the story would've turned out if some things were changed. Sometimes it's with a storyline improvement in mind, and other times it's just out of plain curiosity.

You might feel like this post is leaning towards the critical side, and I can definitely understand why since there are a lot of small details that I've picked apart from all seasons. I added a section for each season with things that I thought were really well done so this post wouldn't be too negative.

I actually did enjoy all seasons and I feel like the quality of not just the writing but every single thing has steadily increased each year.

Season 1: Tropes and clichés

Eagles premiered its first season in 2019 and was, despite many negative reviews, a big success among its target audience. Every episode on SVT Play amassed around 700 000–800 000 views and there didn't seem to be any doubt that the show would get renewed.

What the critics had issues with were that "Eagles rarely takes the unexpected path, and feels like a slightly soulless product of studied target group thinking a little too often," (Karolina Fjellborg in Aftonbladet) and "In Eagles, the characters seem to be locked in the role of a "teenager" but the humanity is missing. They've simplified the construction of the character," (Django Lorentzson in MovieZine).

Eagles was unfortunate enough to constantly be compared to SKAM in its infancy, and that's a tough comparison to live up to. SVT sort of shot themselves in the foot as they were the ones who contributed to it. While the show was still in the casting process, SVT wrote an article hyping the show up as a Swedish SKAM (which has since been edited, but led many to falsely believe that it would involve all the familiar SKAM characters with some hockey elements sprinkled in).

So, why exactly did critics think the first three episodes of the show were predictable and soulless? Well, it's pretty simple. They'd seen it all before. The setting, the characters, the storylines—just in different TV shows and movies.

Season 1 for me is nostalgic and very enjoyable despite its clichéd nature. I also felt like I'd seen the show before due to its generic storylines, but there is a reason why tropes are tropes and why clichés are clichés. It's because they're tried and true, and actually somewhat good writing tools as long as you expand on them. The keyword here is to expand—a story doesn't magically become good simply because you mimic something another writer has done. Tropes are fine to use but you can't just apply them and stop there. Everything in a story needs to be developed in order to be good.

It's safe to say that it's pretty much impossible to write a story without any tropes that have been used before. Striving to avoid clichés at all costs in hopes of making your story as original as possible is harder than it sounds, and almost impossible to boot. Here's a great piece of advice for aspiring writers written by a user on Carvezine:

[...] if you look down at your story and are worried it’s already been told before – don’t spend another second thinking about it. It has. A million times. The only difference is that it hasn’t been told by you. Accept that regurgitation is part of writing, and just do your best not to regurgitate the same way as the guy next to you. We’d all do well to acknowledge there is at least a portion of our stories that are really someone else’s. [...] Beyond that, write with the motivation that if you don’t get around to telling your story, eventually somebody else will.

Even the greatest books have storylines with some clichés. And that's not really a bad thing, either. Think about it. How many times have you decided to binge a TV show solely because it reminded you of another series? Or picked up a book simply because you love a good enemies to lovers romance, a battle between good and evil fantasy, or whatever it might be?

I found this article from Masterclass that perfectly describes what tropes are and why they're used. It's written from the perspective of novel writing but it is still applicable.

A trope in literary terms is a plot device or character attribute that is used so commonly in the genre that it’s seen as commonplace or conventional. For example, a trope in superhero stories is a villain who wants to take over the world. Tropes are popular for a reason—if something has been written about over and over again, there’s a good chance that it’s something readers enjoy reading! Tropes can be helpful, but a novel made up only of tropes will quickly start to feel stale and predictable to readers. That’s why you need to read up on tropes—and then innovate. Deliberately taking a favorite trope and turning it on its head is a great way to put your own unique spin on the genre and keep your readers interested.

Eagles, in its first season, didn't really do a lot of expanding upon the tropes they used and it's understandable that they were still trying to find their footing. I can also imagine it's difficult to do so when you only have eight 20 minute episodes in the season.

However... There definitely should've been more work put into these characters to make them their own. It's tricky, yes, but still achievable if you don't abandon them in their cookie-cutter form and try to actually decorate them with something unique and fresh.

So, how did they write their characters?

Felicia's character and backstory

To start off, Felicia is a famous influencer known for starring in a reality show next to her former NHL professional father. There's already a clear disconnect because it's hard to relate to a character with such a public past and large following. But it is 100% possible if you let the viewer know the character has humane qualities just like the person watching the show.

Look at Wilhelm from Netflix's Young Royals, another Swedish TV show. Wilhelm is the prince of Sweden, set to attend a prestigious elite boarding school, and is the heir to the throne. That doesn't exactly sound like a relatable scenario, does it? And yet the writers make it work because when we're introduced to Wilhelm we realize he's just like everybody else. He wants a normal life, he latches on to his older brother for support, he has anxiety, and he struggles between following his heart versus doing what his family is expecting him to do. A lot of these factors are relatable among the audience.

So, let's look at Felicia Kroon. She is in many ways portrayed as the main character of the show. Eagles starts off with her family having moved to Oskarshamn and the following episodes focus on her developing relationship with Ludde as well as her traumatic past. There's almost too much focus on Felicia here, and I'll get back to that.

Comparing Felicia to Wilhelm from Young Royals, they're both well-known teenagers with famous parents. Of course they have different circumstances considering Felicia is Instagram popular and Wilhelm is a blood royal, but in the grand scheme of things they're similar. Felicia is even referred to as a "Kroon princess" because of her last name Kroon bearing a resemblance to the Swedish word kronprinsessa, meaning crown princess.

The students of their respective schools treat their attendance as a big deal when they first arrive and then Wilhelm and Felicia start spending time with the "popular" crowd despite not really fitting in there.

I personally found it easy to relate to Wilhelm but difficult to relate to Felicia. Some people may feel differently, but her character is basically a popular party girl who attracts the attention of one of the school's star players and is "welcomed" by the popular crowd on her first day of school. I put welcome in quotation marks because Klara, the leader of the girl group, isn't exactly the most welcoming person but she does welcome Felicia to the school. My point is, Felicia doesn't have a lot of relatable traits in the first episodes.

Felicia then goes on a date with the guy she's met, Ludde. Okay, so there haven't been that many layers to her character yet. We're at the third episode and so far she's been kind of flat.

Near the end of the third episode, we get some depth to the character and we hear her back story.

Felicia: [...] We don’t have a good relationship, my dad and I. And that’s probably why we moved from the beginning, because he’s an idiot. We’ve never been close, but… Elias and he have been since they’ve had hockey. [...] And mom has been really involved, so… And I… They’ve never really cared about me. And… And I haven’t really been a problem either. I’ve had good grades, good friends, and… I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I don’t talk about it to people. [...] I just felt so fucking lonely and invisible. I was worried all the time, couldn’t sleep, panicked because I couldn’t sleep… So I started going out more. It went overboard. It started affecting school, my grades slipped… I started taking things to be able to concentrate. Everybody does stuff like that. And then I still couldn’t sleep, so… I started mixing with sleeping pills. And there’s always wine and booze at our place. I don’t want this to come out, that’s really important. Ludde: Of course, I’d never tell. Felicia: One night, something happened that made me… Act out of control more than usual. I woke up the next morning in the hospital. So they sent me to rehab. It was really rough for mom and dad that I was suddenly in focus. When I woke up, dad wasn’t even there. Ludde: What made you take too much that night? Felicia: I’d forgotten my phone at home, so I ran up and got it while my friends were waiting in an Uber. Then I came into the hall and I heard noises. You know, like, when somebody is doing it. Ludde: Okay. Felicia: And I thought it was really weird because mom wasn’t home. So I went into the living room… Dad was fucking my mom’s best friend. On the rug below the couch.

This gives Felicia more layers and does separate her from every other "popular pretty party girl" trope that you see on TV. But this is a huge info dump, and that's a problem. I would've liked to see this happen on-screen instead of only being told what went down. The golden rule of Show don't tell, as people like to say.

Show, don’t tell is a writing technique in which story and characters are related through sensory details and actions rather than exposition. It fosters a style of writing that’s more immersive for the reader, allowing them to “be in the room” with the characters. In his most commonly repeated quote, Chekhov said, “Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass."

This back story could've been more impactful that way if, perhaps, the show began with Felicia in a hospital bed with a strong headache and hazy flashbacks of that night where she saw her dad sleeping with another woman. Then we're introduced to her mother and brother sitting next to the hospital bed tired and worried, and Felicia notices her dad isn't present. They tell her Felicia is being sent to rehab and then there's a time-jump before we see the Kroon family having moved to Oskarshamn.

That's just an idea I threw together at the top of my head, but you get my point. It would've been more interesting if we knew from the beginning that Felicia had a traumatic past like this, leading the viewer to want to know more about what actually happened.

We did get a brief flashback at the very beginning of the show—we see Felicia partying with her friends and taking some pill before lying unconscious on the ground. There's also a glimpse of Ludde's car accident with Andreas yelling at him to get out of there.

That segment only lasts for around 45 seconds and it's easily forgettable upon your first viewing of the show. It's also hard to even recognize Felicia in the dark nightclub setting with the flashing lights. Some dialogue in that short scene could've made it more memorable, because I found that when I first watched season 1 I remembered Andreas yelling at Ludde despite that being drowned out by the music.

Ludde's backstory was way more well-done, in my opinion. We see him having crashed the car and bleeding from his head. He looks terrified and almost frozen by fear, needing to be pulled out of the car by a panicked Andreas yelling at him to bring Ludde back to the reality of the situation. We see Andreas yelling and pointing, telling Ludde he needs to run now. It's more powerful when we get to see it.

And in episode 8, when we learn the truth of what happened, it's not a long and dragged-out monologue. It fits into what's going on in the story. Felicia and Ludde have known each other for a few months now and are much closer than they were on their first date. They've had disagreements and fights, but at this moment they're in a good place.

And it feels like the right moment for Ludde to come clean about what happened to him.

Ludde: Hey… There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. Felicia: What? Ludde: About… My brother. It’s not really as everybody thinks. Felicia: What do you mean? Ludde: That night when he crashed… It wasn’t Andreas who drove the car. We were on our way home from one of his buddies. We’d had some fun drinking. And then… I’d just started learning how to drive. So I nagged and nagged at him. Felicia: So you were the one driving? But he’s an adult- Ludde: He was drunk as hell. He was going to leave the car, but I thought it was so cold and it was only three blocks away so I thought that I could drive. Felicia: And what happened? Ludde: It was slippery and really dark… And a car came. I hit the brakes in time, but it… Yeah. Right after he pushed me out of the car and yelled that I should run home straight away. He really didn’t want me to get into trouble. So, yeah… It was fucking bad luck. I want to just gather everybody and scream that it was me. Felicia: Hey… I love you. Ludde: I love you too. I love you so fucking much.

As Ludde is telling Felicia what happened as the other car came, we see a silent flashback of it along with Ludde's voice narrating. We see Andreas pulling him out of the car and yelling. Cutting to this scene that we've already seen in the beginning but might've forgotten about is a smart choice and makes the story Ludde is telling more real. We see it unfolding as Ludde is telling this to Felicia. It's a powerful scene.

We then see Felicia hugging Ludde from behind, a sign of support with no words needed. She tells him she loves him and Ludde says it back. It's an honest and sweet moment that comes at a perfect time in the story. It's not too early like Felicia's backstory was.

I sort of understand why Felicia's backstory was info-dumped because it was right before the drama of Mats accidentally spilling the beans to Klara's family. They wanted the audience to know what happened to her early, so they could move on to the plot point of Felicia thinking Ludde was the one who told everybody.

But we don't need every single detail of Felicia's story. Let it come organically. The only thing that was really needed was for Ludde to know that Felicia had struggled with drug use and was sent to rehab for this storyline to work. The reason why could've been saved for later, and it would've made for a more interesting reveal. Maybe just have Felicia allude to seeing something that night, but don't tell the viewers right away what it was.

In 1x06, Felicia is incredibly upset when she hears that her dad was the one who told Klara's family what happened to Felicia in the US. And rightly so.

Felicia: Don’t you get it? You ruined everything! Mats: What? Felicia: You told the whole damn town about me! About the US! Mats: I really didn’t mean to disclose you- Or disclose us. Sorry. Hey, sorry. Flisan, please. Hey. Felicia: Did you tell them you fucked mom’s best friend too? Yes, I saw you.

If this had been the moment where we first find out what Felicia saw, it would've been more surprising. Our reaction would've mirrored Mats's, and it would've been more heart-wrenching to know that Felicia was traumatized by an affair her dad had only to be cheated on herself in the very same episode.

Ludde's problematic nature

One of the scriptwriters of Eagles, Fanny Ekstrand, was interviewed in the behind-the-scenes documentary Edvins Skådisdrömmar. In this interview, she states:

Ludvig, he's the one who's been the easiest to retain the personality of. Because he's so... He's calm and friendly, but he makes dumb decisions. Ludvig isn't a typical hockey guy. He has a bunch of other qualities—music being one of them.

I found myself slightly disagreeing with this take, despite knowing Ekstrand is literally a part of the writing team and most likely helped shaped Ludde's personality. I just interpreted Ludde's character (at least in season 1) differently.

I also didn't find him that much different from any other typical hockey guy just because he happens to have another interest. That's a bit like saying Archie Andrews from The CW's Riverdale isn't a stereotypical jock because he also plays the guitar.

In season 1, we see Ludde break into the rink because he wanted to test out the ice. He just loves hockey that much. He also uses it as a way to express frustration and anger, which we saw in 1x05. He flirts with the new girl in school and in the beginning he even uses it as a tactic to gain a position on the main hockey team. This was confirmed by the creator Stefan H. Lindén in his Q&A, where he said:

My idea has always been that Ludde was blown away by Felicia and that he really likes her but that they both initially interacted and met to go swimming because Felicia knew it would piss her dad off and Ludde knew that it might throw Elias off since they were competing for the same position in the team.

I would say that the characteristics of a typical hockey guy would be someone like Adam—obsessed with the sport, flirting with girls, going to parties, and just spending a lot of time in the rink. Ludde checks off all of these points. However, I will give this the benefit of the doubt since season 2 Ludde seems to change a lot and it's easier to interpret him as the calm and friendly guy he was supposed to be in season 1.

So to me, Ludde wasn't calm and friendly at all. In season 2, yes, but when we're first introduced to him?

Ludde shows anger issues and violent tendencies in 1x05 when he head-butts Elias and breaks his nose. It's violent and messy. He then yells at Felicia to leave when she's trying to communicate with him and belittles her drug problems solely because she's rich. To me, Ludde wasn't a nice person in 1x04 either when he let his friends make suggestive comments about Felicia and what she was like in bed.

Omar: I can tell you one thing - you’re not borrowing my towel today cause I don’t know where that dick has been. Adam: It’s nice when she sucks, right? Omar: Can’t you tell us some more, does she bite you or is it just really, really nice? [...] Adam: Is that what you sound like when you’re coming? What does she sound like?

This was described as "locker room talk" and the writers probably wanted to show an authentic view of what being a hockey player is like. I understand that. But it's a little problematic when it's later swept under the rug and treated like something that we're just supposed to accept.

Elias: [...] it’s not very fun to sit in a hockey locker room where people are talking about how nice it is to fuck my sister. Felicia: Ludde would never say anything like that, you know that. Elias: He wouldn’t? It’s a locker room, Felicia. That’s the only thing they talk about.

It did not sit right with me how Felicia seemed to be the one Elias blamed in this scene, and Ludde and his friends never faced any real consequences for what they said. Elias did lash out at Ludde, but there was no severe consequence for Omar and Adam's comments.

Compare this scenario to another Swedish show, Beartown on HBO. Beartown is similar to Eagles and focuses on a hockey team in a small town with one of the star players hooking up with a girl who's recently moved to their small town.

This girl is raped by the hockey player. And because of his status as the star of the team, he has almost the whole school behind him. The girl however is labeled as a lying slut. It's unfair and frustrating to see it happen, but it's authentic and done in a way that doesn't glamorize the ugly side of hockey culture.

Eagles is not as dark as Beartown so this comparison might be a little unfair. Beartown's whole storyline did revolve around this incident while in Eagles the hockey culture is treated more as a side thought. It's like they decided to throw in a taste of what goes on in a locker room just to create drama without really addressing it further.

Beartown did a much better job of portraying the problematic and toxic elements of hockey culture without making it seem like it's just something normal that we should accept. It was honest and raw. If you haven't seen the show, this short video does a great job of depicting how much thought was put into the toxic hockey culture, winning mentality, and subsequently hockey players thinking they're entitled to do whatever they want.

So, to respond to Ekstrand's quote from Edvins Skådisdrömmar—I did not experience Ludde as a "good guy" who only makes dumb decisions at all. In season 1, he's a bad person for letting his friends sexualize a girl he likes and letting her brother hear their disgusting comments. He's a bad person for fighting with her brother and later yelling at her, saying her drug issues are insignificant despite acting supportive of her only two episodes earlier.

I don't mind conflicts like these because they drive the story forward. I didn't particularly like Ludde in season 1 because of the reasons I just stated, but they're necessary to create drama and make the show interesting.

It's just weird to me how one of the writers is saying that Ludde is a calm person and a good guy when that is not at all how I interpreted his character.

Eagles is a show targeted towards a young audience, among them probably a lot of easily influenced pre-teens. What kind of message does this send to them when the guy letting his friends sexualize a girl he's slept with and on top of that laughing at their inappropriate comments is referred to as the good guy?

Klara is mean... What else?

From the moment we're introduced to Klara, it seems obvious that she'll play a living and breathing version of the infamous Alpha Bitch trope. She's also a prime example of the basic Popular is Evil trope and has her own Girl Posse consisting of Sara and Amie.

Klara feels threatened by the arrival of a potential new popular girl, Felicia, and does everything in her power to bully Felicia to show dominance. She barely shows any good sides of herself.

The only instance I can think of where we sort of see season 1 Klara in a positive light is when she talks to Amie in 1x05 about their friendship and then accompanies Amie to her audition for the school band.

Klara: Ever since Felicia started at school… It’s felt like you only hang out with her and that you’ve forgotten about me. She like took you from me. Amie: But I haven’t forgotten you. Klara: No, but do you get what I mean? Amie: I get it, but I haven’t forgotten you. Klara: No, I know. Amie: I know, but it just turned out that way when school started. Klara: Okay. Amie: But I’m sorry. Klara: It’s fine. Amie: Are you sure? Klara: Yeah. You can make it up to me when you go on your world tour.

Klara is really supportive of Amie's musical endeavors, but she also uses her support as a way to alienate Felicia from the girl group. It's very on the nose and kind of feels suffocating in the way it's written.

Klara: Amie, did you remove the clips? Amie: Yeah, she said they weren’t good. Klara: She’s just jealous. It’s so obvious. I mean, I’m jealous. You sing absolutely amazing. I don’t know, I just think it was really rude of her to sit in the cafeteria and criticize you like that Amie: Yeah, maybe. But she apologized. Klara: But still. That clip of you in the bathroom… Like… Sorry, but I’d be so mad if someone had posted something like that of me. I mean, you were standing there without makeup, completely non-fixed up. And the whole thing with her filming you without you knowing. That’s really weird. You don’t do that. Don’t you think so?

I'm sure there are plenty of people who act like this in real life. And maybe that's part of the problem, because Klara in season 1 really isn't an interesting character. We've met this person before and we know exactly what she's like. There's nothing new to discover. So season 1 is essentially just Klara being petty and rude every chance she gets, and to me it felt like a large part of her character was written just to stir up drama.

In 1x06, we see Klara backstab Amie by filming her making out with Ludde at her Halloween party. But I thought it was established in 1x05 that Klara feels like Amie was taken from her? And if Klara actually cared about Amie and didn't want to lose her as a friend, she wouldn't just stand by and watch with her phone recording the whole thing. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

Klara even made that whole point about how it was really weird of Felicia to film Amie without her knowing. So why would Klara do it, when she expressed that's weird and not something a normal person does? Is that supposed to be foreshadowing? Because if so, that's a clear contradiction and not how foreshadowing works.

When Sara happens to see the video on Klara's phone she immediately says that Klara should delete it.

Sara: What is that? Did they know you were filming? Klara: No, of course they didn’t know. Sara: Oh my god, Klara. You should probably delete it. Klara: I’m going to! But it’s crazy, right? Sara: Yeah, god. But seriously, delete it. Klara: I’m going to.

So Klara says she's going to delete the video. But it's still unclear why it was filmed in the first place if Klara insists that she's going to delete it. It's not like she filmed it just to show it to Sara either, since Sara wasn't meant to see it and only saw it by chance while swiping through Klara's photos on her phone.

It doesn't make sense for Klara to film a video like that of her best friend that she's supposed to care about. It doesn't make sense for Klara to film a video of anybody without their knowledge when she previously made a big deal about how you shouldn't do that.

What Klara's character is, is a bad attempt at the classical mean girl. She's clichéd, boring, and full of tropes.

Even her eventual character development is riddled with tropes like the Heel Realization where a character realizes they're actually one of the bad guys. This realization seems to come in 1x08, where Felicia calls Klara out on her behavior.

Felicia: You know what, Klara. I’m so fucking tired of your fucking comments. You didn’t get to be Lucia this year. Poor you! Was dad unable to fix that? Cry then, Klara. Cry. You’re so fucking mean. Everybody here is tired- Everybody here is scared of you. Even those who liked you once, they can’t take it anymore. Klara: That’s not true. It’s not true. Felicia: Yes, everybody is scared of you. You know what? Look around. Show people some fucking respect. Klara: Well say something, Amie! Amie: What is there to say? She’s right.

Klara needed a wake-up call like this. It's just unfortunate that she goes back to her mean girl behavior and posts the video after Amie insinuated that Klara wasn't a real friend. Klara already knew that Amie felt that way since she said Felicia was right in her assessment of everybody being scared and tired of Klara. So wouldn't it have made more sense for Klara to post the video right after that moment instead of during Amie's performance?

Or rather, why not pull a Subverted Trope and not have Klara post the video at all after she realized how horrible she'd been acting? That would've made me respect her so much more and be a great introduction to her character development in season 2.

The Halloween Incident

To me, the whole Halloween episode was questionable. First off, we never got actual confirmation of what happened in that room between Amie and Ludde. Some viewers insist that they only made out and others believe they went all the way. Here's what the creator of the show, Stefan H. Lindén, had to say about this in a Q&A post he did:

I think if you went into the writers room of Eagles and asked all of us what really happened in that room [between Ludde and Amie at Klara's Halloween party] we would all have different answers.  I know what happened, but I’m not sure we will ever truly know for sure, unless Ludvig or Amie eventually are open enough to admit to anyone what really happened.

This is kind of a vague answer, but that's fair considering that when Stefan did this Q&A the latest episode that had been released was 2x05 and he probably didn't want to spoil anything. However, looking back at this answer knowing how the season turned out I still feel like it's unclear what happened. It's also strange that Stefan seems to be saying that they never actually decided what happened between them since the writers "would all have different answers".

1x06 was just an odd episode for me overall. Lots of things felt rushed and underdeveloped. Let's not forget that this episode also contained, in my opinion, some of the weirdest lines in the whole show (along with Elias's strange monologue about plague vampires).

Ludde: Hey, I only have like 3%. Do you have any power? Adam: Are you wondering if I have a power bank in my shorts? It’s coming-

Ludde: I like shellfish. (said to Amie, wearing a lobster costume)

Up until this episode, Ludde has shown zero interest and attraction towards Amie. We are basically told that Ludde only hooked up with Amie because he was so drunk that he practically had no idea what he was doing.

In 1x02, we see a drunk Amie try to kiss Tobbe and upon getting rejected she moves on to make out with Adam. She gets overly friendly when she's drunk so the fact that she makes out with Ludde later is... Weird, but not entirely out of the realms of possibility.

Ludde on the other hand is moping about Felicia all night. He regrets how he yelled at her at the end of 1x05 and it shows. He's trying to drown all his problems in alcohol and it seems to be working, because when it enters his system he seems to be on top of the world.

What I found kind of ambiguous in this incident was if Ludde even remembered what happened that night. He was drinking so much compared to Amie, who doesn't really need as much alcohol before she reaches her "overly friendly" state. I thought for sure that Ludde was oblivious to the situation when he woke up in his bed the next day and immediately messaged Felicia.

There are just so many questions to unpack here that were never answered. What prompted Amie and Ludde to go into that empty room? Why did Ludde come with her? Why didn't Adam seem to care about this, when he'd been sitting next to Ludde and taking care of him most of the night? And as I wrote before, why would Klara film this video of her best friend when she previously expressed that was a weird thing to do?

There's just too much in 1x06 left unanswered. The Amie/Ludde hook-up was a badly executed plot twist because there wasn't anything hinting that this would happen. It just came out of nowhere.

Unbalanced screentime and Elias's wasted potential

A large portion of season 1 was dedicated to Felicia. This was kind of a let-down for me since I thought more focus would be placed on Eagles as a hockey team (after all, that's what the show is named after). I also thought more attention would be on Elias since he's the talented star player who's supposed to live up to his father's legacy.

The show starts with a couple radio hosts hyping up how Elias Kroon, son of the legendary Mats Kroon, is going to join the Eagles hockey team.

Host #1: [...] It’s finally official. New center in the junior team - Elias Kroon, son to the legendary NHL-pro Mats Kroon, who has now chosen to move home from the US to his hometown where Elias will play in his father’s old club Oskarshamn Eagles. Host #2: This is so freaking cool. Who doesn’t want a Kroon on their team? Host #1: We hope that he’ll take a spot on the A-team.

But we don't learn a lot about who Elias actually is in the first episode. The attention is on Felicia and her interest in Ludde.

Elias is so discarded that he barely has anything to say in the first couple of scenes we see him in. Here are all his eight lines in 1x01, and I'm not even joking.

Elias: Yes. Elias: Shut up. Elias: Ow. Elias: It's fine. Elias: Really? Elias: Fucking hell. Elias: I'll stay here. Elias: No, it's fine.

In 1x02 he has even fewer lines. Three, to be exact, and all he says is that his injury is a sprain and that it's fine. Essentially just an echo of two of the lines he had in the previous episode. It's nothing new.

There's a way to have a character stand out when they don't have many lines, but Elias just fades into the background with every other extra. There's too much time spent on having other characters talk about Elias than us actually getting to know him. So when we do meet him, it's pretty underwhelming.

Compare Elias to his sister who gets so much more attention from the writers. I don't really understand why either, since I thought Elias was a much more interesting character than his influencer sister. Felicia's character only seems to revolve around a guy. I wonder how many times we've seen that before?

In 1x02 we see the Eagles hockey team play their first game, but Elias is unable to play and has to sit in the stands for what was supposed to be his debut match. Why? Because during a hockey practice session in 1x01, Adam rams his stick into Elias to purposely injure him. I mean, fair enough. Adam is trying to get Ludde on the main team since he and Elias are competing for the same position. The shot of Adam smiling after Elias sprains his wrist is a bit too on the nose, but whatever.

What this does is minimize Elias' presence in season 1 by a lot. We don't see the son of the legendary NHL professional play an actual game until 1x05, which is more than halfway into the season. It's kind of disappointing but I understand the injury is done to dramatize his situation.

Elias barely gets his own storylines in the first few episodes. He just has things done to him instead of acting on his own. When we do see him on screen he gets injured by Adam, reprimanded by his father, and later told he can't play in his debut game.

His sweet side (or any side of him, really) isn't shown until 1x03 when Amie wakes up at the Kroon house and Elias reassures her that they didn't do anything together and that she can borrow Felicia's clothes.

Elias doesn't really do much for the plot until he hears Ludde's friends objectify Felicia and he starts a fight with Ludde and confronts Felicia about it. That's when it feels like Elias is actually a part of this show instead of just being an extra shoved into the background. His actions are finally affecting the plot.

Elias's potential in season 1 was hugely wasted. The only episode where we actually got to see him shine was 1x07, when he travels to Karlskrona with Amie. We find out he doesn't want the hockey arrangement his dad has planned for him and that he's actually a pretty goofy guy who likes making jokes (and eating green candy).

If less time was spent with Felicia and the distribution of every episode's 20 minutes was more balanced, season 1 could've been massively improved. It got much better in season 2, but season 1 suffered and made many people think that Felicia was a basic and unentertaining character.

The side characters and their comic relief

So one thing that I found really disappointing with Felicia's amount of screentime is that we barely got enough time for the other main characters, let alone the side characters.

What I mean here is that the only people we really know on the Eagles hockey team are Ludde and Elias. Ludde's friends, Adam and Omar, just feel like comic relief sidekicks. We don't really know what they're like, besides the fact that they like to make jokes and mess around.

This issue is largely created by the short running time the episodes have along with season 1 only having eight episodes in total. That's definitely understandable. It did get better in season 3 where we see Ludde having a deeper conversation with Adam and Omar and they finally don't just feel like the comic relief characters, but actual people with layers.

Ludde: I’m going to quit hockey. Adam: Are you serious? Omar: What the hell are you saying? Ludde: It’s not the same anymore. I’m not passionate about it. I… Yes, it sucks, but… I’ve thought about it for a while now. Omar: We make jokes about it and all, but… Yeah. It wouldn’t be the same without you. Kingelikingen. Adam: I get that it’s a tough choice. But yeah… You’ll work things out. You and Felicia. You always do. Ludde: You guys are pretty awesome sometimes, actually.

This scene was really sweet, and I wish we could've had moments like this between the guys in season 1. Just one scene to show that they're not just the "typical hockey guys". It feels like Ludde was the only person on the team in season 1 who wasn't just a background character. Even Elias, who you would assume should be at the forefront, isn't properly developed until 1x05 where we see him defending his sister and starting a fight with Ludde. Otherwise, it very much felt like Elias was kept in the background.

There are also guys on the team called Herman, Simon, Näslund, Ekbäck, Hoffmann, Berglund (even Montell, which was a fun nod to the show's director)... But who are they, actually? Do you even remember their names? To be honest with you, I don't. Because they're just names—not actual characters.

None of the other guys on the team get any depth. They're just sort of there as extras and to give the audience a sense of comedy with their "hockey team shenanigans". This was illustrated in 1x08, where Adam and Omar make their teammate Liam do a "sexy dance" on a table because he lost his virginity. Or a more extreme example—Jönsson, who only exists to be the comic relief and the unlucky guy who just can't catch a break.

In 2x04, Jönsson is told by Jack to do extra time in the gym and gets told off when he only spends a few minutes on the exercise bike. Later, Jack also makes a joke about how he should get Jönsson a defibrillator. In 2x09 Jönsson invites Ludde, Adam, and Omar to come to his mom's place to hang out. After he's left, Adam makes a comment about how there's no way he's going to "rot" in Jönsson's apartment that doesn't even have a balcony.

Don't get me wrong, these scenes aren't bad and I don't mean they should've been scrapped. Comedy can absolutely have its place in a show like this. Let's take the scene where Ludde flashes a couple of unfortunate old ladies on his first date with Felicia as an example. It feels like something a teenage boy would do to try to make a girl he likes laugh. It's a brief scene and it's nice to see Ludde being able to goof off only moments after talking about Andreas. We know that's a touchy subject for him.

However, it feels slightly overdone sometimes with how almost everybody on the hockey team is only there for comedic purposes and to fill space. It's more refreshing when they're shown to be multi-dimensional. I wish this is something that the writers would've considered when the show is literally titled after the hockey team, yet most of the hockey players are hardly in the story.

To add to this, it felt like Sara and Tobbe completely disappeared from the story in season 2. With Sara we understand that she probably didn't want to hang out with Klara anymore after knowing she filmed the Halloween video and posted it on Instagram, so that's fair. But it would've been nice to see Tobbe stick around in season 2, and I'll get back to why I think that.

The potential of season 1

When I look back on season 1 I feel really nostalgic. No matter how many small details that irked me, I can't deny that the setting of the show is beautiful and I really appreciate the depiction of it. Instead of showing Oskarshamn as a boring small town, we're shown the beauty of it which is incorporated into the storylines.

Some examples would be Ludde and Felicia's first date at Gunnarsö and walk through Havslätt, the gorgeous view of the Oskarshamn harbor from Klara's house Villa Högklint, and Badholmen where the school band performs and we later see Elias and Amie walking by in season 3. All these places are listed on the Eagles Oskarshamn site and I feel like they did a great job tying the storylines in with the locations.

Another aspect of season 1 and its writing that I really enjoyed was Elias and Amie's budding relationship. They just have a natural chemistry together and the dialogue between them also felt authentic and sweet.

Season 1 is just a very polished teen drama overall compared to some of SVT's previous series.

Back in 2007-2010, SVT used to air a soap opera-style show focusing on a few teenagers living in Gothenburg that was called Andra Avenyn (translation: Second Avenue). I was only seven at the time but I watched this show religiously as it aired three times a week. Just mentioning the show brings a lot of nostalgia.

Andra Avenyn amassed around 500 000 viewers per episode and was, just like Eagles, nominated for a Kristallen television award. But how good was it, really? If I take off my rose-colored glasses for a second and actually consider the show's highly dramatized storylines and unlikely scenarios, it had a tendency to drag on (which usually happens with soap operas). It didn't offer a realistic view of teenage life and on IMDb it currently sits at a rating score of 5.6 stars out of 10.

Comparing this old teen series to SVT's newer one, Eagles season 1 was a huge improvement and continues to be the most popular teen series that SVT has aired so far.

This idea and all the characters have lived in Stefan H. Lindéns mind since 2008, while Andra Avenyn was still on the air. It's actually amazing how high the quality of most TV shows has risen since then. Eagles has a rating score of 7.4 out of 10 stars on IMDb and has become internationally known in a way that Andra Avenyn never was.

Eagles season 1 laid the groundwork for SVT's most successful teen series of all time, and that's a huge achievement.

Season 2: "Subverting expectations"

When Eagles came back for season 2, the script made it kind of obvious that the writers had listened to the critique of season 1 being predictable.

I did find season 2 a huge step up from season 1—the directing was so much better and when it came to the script we got a deeper look into all the characters that they hadn't really scratched the surface of in the first season. My main disappointment however was that it felt like they threw in a bunch of weird plot twists just for the sake of "subverting expectations".

The core idea of subverting expectations can be great if done correctly. You lead the audience to believe they know what's going to happen, but then you surprise them with an unexpected and clever twist.

A post in Cinematography written by Mason Leaver defines the phrase of "subverting expectations" as:

[...] a method of surprising the audience with some element of a story, be it the plot, themes, characters, etc. This goes beyond a “twist” in a film. Expectation subversion actively works within the genre of a story, and attempts to reinterpret or subvert the conventions of that genre, breaking patterns in surprising and interesting ways. However, this method of surprising the audience is not always well received- it can sometimes be the source of heavy criticism from fans of the tropes which have been subverted.

This included "unexpected" relationships such as Elias/Klara and Amie/Ludde. The former actually worked, but the latter? Not so much.

Amie's crush on Ludde—make it make sense!

Amie and Ludde were my biggest issue with season 2, and it felt so out of character of Amie to be head over heels for Ludde. They work great as friends but romantically they're a huge mismatch.

But they have music in common, I hear you say. Yes, they do. But having a shared interest doesn't mean people are automatically a good match. You have to consider their chemistry and overall compatibility.

Before actors are cast in a show or movie where their characters will be romantically involved with each other, it's common to do what's called a chemistry read. Here's a neat description from an article in Backstage written by Caroline Liem:

Chemistry is the complex emotional or psychological interaction between two people. If this were a romantic article, it would be about love. Instead, we are discussing the astonishing rapport between two actors, and how that connection is achieved in order to book [...] the role. A chemistry read is an opportunity to read with actors being considered for a role opposite yours, usually lead roles. The main purpose is to see how you instinctively connect and work with the other actor.

This obviously wasn't done for the actors playing Amie and Ludde, since there didn't seem to be any intention of having their characters be involved in a romantic relationship.

That was even confirmed by Stefan H. Lindén in his Q&A of season 2, where he said that a love triangle between Ludde/Felicia/Amie was planned but later scrapped.

I can confirm that from the beginning of development of the series and the first version of the storyline a triangle drama was at some point intended for season 1 but later removed  – however when creating the characters, Ludvigs skill in music and arts was always there from the beginning so by knowing that, we always knew that interactions would appear between them. When looking back at Season 1, in the first scene by the lockers when Amie tells Felicia who Ludvig is, she does know exactly who he is and she is well aware of that his friend Tobias is a music guy that Amie wants to get to know. Also when looking at it, when I was the same age as Ludvig and Amie I, and I am sure a lot of people can relate to it, fact is that we never really knew if it was love or friendship in the beginning.

Knowing that the triangle drama was scrapped for season 1, it makes sense why it seems so arbitrary. There was no groundwork laid down for this pairing before it was hastily thrown together in 1x06 for a cheap plot twist. This continues in season 2, where Amie and Ludde start spending more time together. Yet it's hard to see Ludde as a potential love interest for Amie in the way the writers want us to. They still come off as friends despite having hooked up at a party.

I mentioned that Tobbe should've stuck around for season 2 and here's why. Tobbe was written to be the leader of the school band that Amie later joins, and he was friends with Ludde before the video was posted. He would've been a perfect fit for the Amie/Ludde music storyline but he's completely absent. He had the potential to be the person who could've helped them with the song a little and then later picked up on whatever there was going on between them.

I think the Amie/Ludde storyline could've hugely benefitted from a scene between Amie and Tobbe, where Tobbe asks if she actually has feelings for Ludde and we get to hear exactly what Amie is feeling. Maybe she's torn, not wanting to get together with Ludde because of how much they hurt Felicia, but at the same time finds it hard to suppress her feelings. A scene like that would've allowed us to get into Amie's head and make the Amie/Ludde storyline much clearer.

To add, this storyline was in desperate need of more interest from Ludde's side. There needed to be some indication from him that would make Amie believe he liked him back, even if that wasn't the case. All we get is Ludde complimenting Amie's song and then a hug in 2x05 when Amie says the record label in Stockholm wanted a meeting. And apparently, that was enough for Amie to think Ludde was interested in her despite him blowing off the Stockholm meeting and Amie hearing Ludde say that the Halloween incident was a mistake.

Ludde and Amie don't really mesh as well as Elias/Amie do or even as well as Ludde/Felicia do. Elias and Amie had sparks flying from the very first scene they shared. That pairing is one of the main reasons why the show became popular internationally, and why is that? Because of the actors' chemistry.

Amie and Ludde are a clumsy attempt at throwing together two people who don't really work together with the intention of "subverting expectations". And I suppose that's what the writers wanted to depict—an awkward crush that doesn't really make sense, which I'm sure many people have experienced as a teenager. That part is fine. But what I didn't like about this storyline is that Amie had no good reason to believe Ludde would be interested in anything with her beyond a platonic friendship.

While season 2 was airing, I was convinced that Amie wasn't actually in love with Ludde. She was just lonely after the aftermath of the Halloween video and mistook her feelings for Ludde as love when she just appreciated his company. Here's what I wrote:

So as we know, Amie kissed Ludde in episode 6 when he was in the hospital after having been injured during the hockey game against Karlskrona. She immediately seemed to regret having done that and ran out without an explanation, leaving Ludde alone and confused. I honestly don’t think Amie has any romantic feelings towards Ludde. I think she might mistake her feelings for a crush or something, when in reality she’s just lonely and appreciates Ludde always being there for her and giving her compliments on her musical ability. Ludde was complimenting Amie at the hospital, saying she was amazing, and I think Amie was just really touched by that and maybe wanted to thank him somehow, and ended up kissing him. And then she freaked out and left because oh my god did she really just kiss Ludde. It was an uncomfortable and awkward situation and that’s probably why she ran out. However, I really believe that if she had just stayed to explain and apologize, Ludde would understand and they could’ve just laughed it off. But this is a drama show so of course that wouldn’t happen! Do I think the writers are making them into a couple? No, definitely not. They know that season 1 was sort of predictable and cliché, so they’re making season 2 as different as possible by including these unexpected pairings such as Klara & Elias and Amie & Ludde. But Amie and Ludde won’t ever be a couple, because Ludde is still very much hung up on Felicia. I don’t see them as a couple either - yes, they have music in common, but they work way better as friends than in a relationship.

In Edvins Skådisdrömmar, which is a behind-the-scenes documentary of Eagles season 2, writers Fanny Ekstrand and Michaela Hamilton discuss the writing of the show in the documentary's third episode. The third episode is mostly focused on the lead-up to the scene where Amie kisses Ludde at the hospital. Adrian Öjvindsson, who plays Ludde, says:

Filming the kissing scene was [...] awkward and weird, actually. And that's how it ended up. Yandeh and I haven't really had any intimate scenes. In this case you could take in that it was weird, because that's also what the scene wanted to depict.

When Edvin reads the script, he describes the scene as a "nightmare" scenario. I agree. And the lazy build-up to this Awkward Kiss trope doesn't make it any better, because just like the Halloween incident this doesn't make a lot of sense.

It's supposed to be awkward and weird, just like Adrian said. But he also mentioned one of the most important details: Yandeh and I haven't really had any intimate scenes.

Before this kiss scene, there was nothing that indicated any chemistry between them. No accidental hand-touching, no longing stares, no nothing. Just a friendly hug. A proper build-up to the kiss scene would've made it feel less out of place.

The love confession from Amie to Ludde in 2x10 really threw me off as well. The confession to me made no sense and honestly felt like a prank call. There was no feeling behind it and zero reason for Amie to believe that there was a chance Ludde liked her back.

At the end of 2x08, Felicia goes to Ludde's house after he's confessed the truth to the police about the Andreas situation. Amie happens to overhear the conversation and she hears Ludde very clearly say that he's not interested in Amie.

Ludde: Felicia, there’s nothing between us. Between me and Amie. It was really the biggest mistake of my life. Felicia: Goodbye, Ludde. Ludde: Felicia, please!

Amie, now having her heart broken, crosses Ludde's name off the contract while crying. She knows he doesn't feel the same. So why would Amie even bother to call Ludde up to tell him she's "in love with him"?

Amie: [...] Hey, Ludde… Ludde: Yeah? Amie: It feels really weird to hear our song now. Because I know who the lyrics are about. And… And I… I really like you. Or, well… I’m in love with you. I just need to know how you feel. Or if you feel anything. Just tell me. Ludde: I’ll always want to be your friend, Amie, but… It’s Felicia I’m in love with.

This moment is on par with the awkwardness from the hospital kiss between them in 2x06. The second-hand embarrassment with this one was really rough, and what I don't understand is why this was even added to the script when Amie had already gotten the confirmation that Ludde didn't think of her in a romantic way. This storyline could've ended in 2x08 after Amie overheard the conversation between Ludde and Felicia.

It really didn't need to drag on for the whole season, essentially making Amie's whole storyline in season 2 about a guy. Her moment of finally getting signed to the record label was ruined when it could've been regarded as a fresh start if the storyline had just ended where it should have.

What this storyline did instead was ruining my favorite friendship of season 1, which was Amie/Felicia. This mess made it so hard for them to reconcile and they didn't end up properly addressing it until 3x09, spending almost two whole seasons mad at each other. It sucks that the writers decided to drag out their fighting and disagreements for this long when they could've instead shown two girls in solidarity who don't let a guy get between them and their friendship.

Amie apologized in 3x03 for how she hurt Felicia, but Felicia made it clear in 3x06 that she still harbored ill will towards Amie for what happened at Halloween (which in the timeline of this show was more than a year ago).

Felicia (to Amie): Are you going to start slobbering with [Elias] now too? Just give me back that sweater first, I don’t want slobber on that. Thanks.

I talked about how much I disliked the Amie/Ludde storyline in this post, with my main reason being that it really messed up the character dynamics that were established in season 1.

This storyline [of Ludde and Amie hooking up]—along with Amie falling in love with Ludde—is by far my least favorite one because it messed up the whole character dynamic. I feel like Amie and Felicia won’t ever go back to the kind of friendship they had in season 1 before the Halloween incident because the trust was so broken, and Amie really should’ve tried harder to apologize to Felicia like Ludde did instead of going after her best friend’s ex in season 2.

If there's just one thing I could change about this show, I would 100% get rid of the Amie/Ludde storylines. There is nothing that annoyed me as much as those storylines did.

Amie's musical ambitions

I've talked about this a bit before in another post because this was something that really bugged me about Amie's character in season 2. Here's what I wrote:

I honestly still feel like Amie’s whole storyline with sending in a rather basic demo written by two teenagers with little to no experience and then getting praised on it [by the Stockholm music producers] with comments such as “it’s going to be a real summer hit” felt so unrealistic to me. Maybe they only said that so Amie would accept their offer or something, but that’s still very strange because she would have still said yes without a doubt. I can understand that they thought Amie was marketable as a person and there was this bonus with her having gone viral before on Felicia’s Instagram, but that demo did not seem good enough for me to be immediately released as a single and then have them decide on the spot that Amie would be given a contract. I mean, come on. It never felt earned because we never really saw Amie struggling with her songwriting journey to achieve this dream. Sending in one demo to one record label and having them immediately want to make a whole album with you just doesn’t happen in real life unless the song is extremely good or you have a very unique voice. Amie is really talented but there are hundreds of people just like her, if not thousands. I was never convinced by her getting signed so quickly in season 2. I understand that they wanted to establish her as a successful artist [at the beginning of season 3], but that felt so rushed. I was so sure that the record label would screw her over and steal the song rights to record it with another artist who was already established, and that we’d have to see Amie work even harder to achieve her dreams. But we didn’t get that at all. Where was the struggle? [...] Of course I wanted to see Amie achieve success (and I was happy when she did), but the journey there was so bizarrely easy. She didn’t start to seriously work on making her music career become a reality until season 2. Amie had dabbled in music prior to that, like when she auditioned for the school band and did that performance of Follow, but she didn’t truly start to work towards it until season 2 when she decided to have her work sent to professionals in the business. And then, just five episodes later, she gets contacted by the record label in Stockholm. To put this into context—season 2 took place somewhere around March, and episode 5 around three weeks into April. So when Ludde first started helping Amie it took less than two months for her to get signed. You could argue that the song was just that good or that Amie is just that talented, but it never felt like a realistic storyline to me.

It's tricky to write a storyline like this when you only have ten 20 minute episodes in the season and a limited amount of screentime for every character. All that is understandable. But it's strange that they didn't opt for a time jump to really sell this storyline and make it believable.

Eagles uses time jumps a lot, but somehow this particular plot point was omitted from that and kind of glossed over. I don't really understand how they expected us to buy this storyline. The viewers aren't stupid, and more effort should've been put into this storyline.

In the post where I wrote this, @gajana18 also had an interesting thing to add:

[...] it's equally unrealistic that this huge record company would be hounding Amie, a teenage onehit wonder essentially to come back to the label- don’t they have other bigger artists?

This is a very strong point. Considering how Amie kept expressing that she wanted to finish school and then proceeded to ignore their calls, it's weird that they didn't just decide to discard her contract when Amie clearly wasn't taking her singing career as seriously as they wanted her to.

So, back to season 2. Maybe they could've gone with the record label stealing the rights to Amie's first song and screwing her over. This fuels her to try again and after a time jump of a few months we see Amie having worked really hard on a new and better song. Maybe even a whole album. And this time, she's learned from her past mistakes and improved her songwriting. This time, she's successful in her endeavor and it feels so much more earned after knowing the struggles she's been through to get there.

I also feel like a storyline like that would've made people sympathize with Amie more in season 2. It was really hard to root for her when she had nearly screwed Ludde over by not giving credit to his songwriting and saying "fuck him" when he didn't return Amie's feelings.

Klara's character development

When we're introduced to Klara in season 1, she's a stereotypical mean girl with wealthy parents who is the popular girl at school and has her own followers.

In season 2, the writers decided to develop the character. We find out Klara has issues at home and her mom is barely there. When she is, her parents will start fighting. Klara is feeling really lonely and doesn't really hang out with her friend Sara as much as she used to.

I appreciated the added depth, but it seemed like a drastic shift. The changed perspective could attribute to that but when you step back and really look at s1 Klara and s2 Klara, they're like two completely different people.

Maybe Klara's reputation suffered after she posted the Halloween video? Maybe she had a change of heart after Felicia finally confronted her during Lucia? I mean, I guess.

But what most fans (including me) didn't like about Klara in season 2 was that there were no clear consequences for her after she posted the Halloween video. Klara still hangs out with what seems to be the popular crowd and she has people to go out with. In a post I wrote last year about my thoughts on season 2, I wrote this:

I actually wish that Klara would’ve become more ostracized from her school friends to emphasize how alone she is, but she seems to still be pretty popular so that was kind of disappointing. I thought the fall-out of her posting the video would be worse, but I guess not. Anyway, I like that they’re taking a disliked character and making her into a better person. Feels like it’s been done a few times before, but I still appreciate them doing it. I hated s1 Klara for being so one-dimensional, but s2 Klara is well on her way to being a pretty good and nuanced character.

Her character development sort of comes a little out of nowhere, though. Her reputation wasn't ruined by posting that video and she didn't really lose any friends besides Sara (she had already lost Amie prior to posting that video considering what Amie said to her after Lucia in 1x08).

So what prompted Klara to become this whole new person who actually considers other people's feelings in a relatively short amount of time? Here's a conversation between Felicia and Klara in 2x07.

Felicia: Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about? I understand that we’re not best friends just because you and Elias are together. We’re not here without a reason, right? Klara: No, I get that this feels weird for you. And if you don’t trust me after everything that’s happened - or that I’ve done. Felicia: Klara… Klara: I know that I haven’t acted like the world’s best person. And I regret that. Sorry.

But why does Klara regret her past behavior? What made her realize she hadn't acted like the "world's best person" if the ramifications from posting the Halloween video were so minimal?

Was it the relationship with Elias that made Klara change? No, I don't think so. When they first start talking at the bar in 2x03, Elias tells Klara that he doesn't always agree with Felicia and that he has his own viewpoints. In 2x07, he says Klara wasn't the one who messed up, but rather Amie and Ludde. And in 2x09, the script tells us that the Elias/Klara relationship seemed to bring more change to Elias rather than Klara.

Felicia: What did you do to him? Klara: What? Felicia: He’s smiling. Elias is like a whole new person since he met you. Klara: Stop. Felicia: I mean it!

So what made Klara change? In 1x08 she's mocking Felicia's drug problems and posts a video that will for sure ruin Amie's reputation. But at the start of season 2, she's suddenly become more withdrawn and considerate of people's feelings.

I can only name one factor that actually makes sense, and that's the fighting between her parents. Klara seems to turn into this quiet child when she has to listen to her mom and dad yelling at each other. This is something that didn't really begin until season 2, when Ola's company GECED started going under. This storyline was very well done.

But the other things, like Klara's reputation and friend group which you would assume would be affected, remain as they were in season 1.

Jack's sudden character change

Jack came into season 2 as a charming and charismatic character, seemingly fooling everybody into thinking he was a good guy. He knew the Kroon family from before and both Felicia and Elias were none the wiser when it came to the eventual reveal of his true colors.

Here's what Stefan H. Lindén had to say about the Jack character in his season 2 Q&A:

Bringing Jack in was actually originally not my idea, it came from my writer colleagues after that they revised my storyline notes for Season 2, while I was still down in Oskarshamn shooting Season 1. We had always intended for a character to come in and raise the stakes but I never imagined it to be Jack. When we started to develop the character, we all started liking him so he was kept in the story. Like with any new character we never really know who they are and what [the] point of them for coming in is [...]

Personally, I feel like the point of Jack's character is pretty obvious. When he first comes to Oskarshamn he is very much the embodiment of the new love interest coming in to date the girl who has broken up with her previous lover, while the previous lover still loves her and does anything he can to get her back although she's dating someone new. Jack is the Romantic False Lead trope who later becomes an alpha-dog Jerkass.

What I found interesting about Jack compared to Klara (in season 1) is that Jack isn't just a bad guy. He's very clever with his manipulation tactics and can easily charm people with his good looks and charisma.

When Felicia accuses Jack of cheating in 2x07, he manages to spin the whole thing around and make Felicia apologize to him and say it was stupid of her to believe he would cheat on her. I talked about this in a post while the season still aired, before Jack's true colors were revealed. Here's what I wrote:

I still don’t know if Jack really is cheating on Felicia with Olivia (the girl that texted him) but I would say he is. Jack is incredibly confident and charming, which makes him able to easily lie and manipulate people. We know he’s not an entirely good person since he’s already lied to Elias about not knowing that Mats would bring him back to Eagles. I wouldn’t be surprised if he really did hook up with Olivia and ended up being a really good liar. The fact is that not only did he deny it but he then shamed Felicia for blaming him and causing a scene, ultimately shifting the focus in the argument to her and making Felicia feel bad that she even confronted him in the first place. Jack says that maybe they shouldn’t even be together, which causes Felicia to backtrack and apologize. It’s actually pretty impressive how Jack was able to spin that around to blame Felicia and make her apologize.

Jack is able to take a small detail and use it as ammunition to get what he wants. In this situation, he brings up the girl in the Stockholm club that Felicia partied with and also kissed.

Jack: You shouldn’t accuse me, either. Felicia: What? Jack: I saw on Instagram, you and some girl in Stockholm. Have I whined about that? Coming here and blaming me for things, it feels really immature. Felicia: Fuck. Sorry, Jack.

Jack wasn't bothered by that at all. It happened before Felicia and Jack were even an official couple, and all they had done was hooking up at a party while Felicia was high. Jack, having cheated on Felicia, couldn't care less about the random girl Felicia kissed. That was just something he used to manipulate her.

When we discover that Jack is actually cheating on Felicia, he immediately reverts to a one-dimensional "evil" character. He's become the 2.0 version of Klara in season 1—written in just to stir up drama.

This "master manipulator" version of him just goes down the drain and Jack turns into a manchild who starts petty fights, files a police report because Ludde pushed him, and says to Felicia "I'm gonna tell on you!". Alright, maybe those weren't his exact words, but you know what I mean. It's a sudden shift and you start wondering how Jack was able to hide this version of himself so well before.

In 3x05, Jack sees Ludde and Andreas after a hockey game and fumbles trying to find any insult he can to hurl at Ludde. Everything he says from that point on is just line after line to really solidify that Jack is the bad guy. You didn't forget that, right? Here, let's have Jack call Felicia a druggie so you know just how shitty he is. And have him call Andreas a junkie later for good measure—there, that should be enough for people to understand that Jack is the villain here.

Jack: Johansson! Ludde: What the hell are you doing here? Jack: What does it look like? Ludde: I guess it’s you I should thank for the victory. Nice work. Jack: What is Felicia doing these days, then? Does she miss me? Ludde: Hey, you’re shutting up now, do you get it?! Jack: Jesus Christ. Do you think you can save her? What do you think she even sees in you? You two play in different leagues, Ludde. Ludde: You have no idea what we’re like. Jack: Come on! You should leave her. While you can. She’ll just pull you down into the dirt with her. You’re no hero, Ludde. Isn’t she still doing drugs? Once a druggie, always a druggie, right?

Jack is a horrible person, but at least he was able to pretend to be a good guy in season 2. And that was actually really fascinating. I wish we could've seen more of Jack's manipulative side that he showed in season 2 instead of making everything coming out of his mouth be a half-assed attempt at insulting the other person. That's a pretty boring villain, in my opinion.

Jack's backstory of his father being an alcoholic and him starting to resent the whole Kroon family because they had everything growing up while he didn't is interesting. It would've also made more sense if his anger was only directed towards the Kroon family since they're the ones he grew up with. They're the ones he was after the whole time.

His anger towards them feels cheapened when Jack also starts insulting Andreas (who he's probably never met before) for no good reason. It's like Jack's human qualities are just gone and all that's left is this empty shell made to start fights. His backstory didn't really make anybody sympathize with him, either.

The improvements of season 2

What I liked about the writing in season 2 was that they explored new ideas and had some solid storylines (besides the mess that was Amie and Ludde). Elias and Klara actually worked pretty well as a couple, even if they were pretty much the 2.0 version of Felicia/Ludde as the "wealthy, popular pretty girl starts dating the star player on the sports team".

Felicia finally gets some more depth. The scene at the end of 2x02, where Felicia and Leila park their car near the harbor and just start crying, is so powerful.

2x05 is also one of my favorite episodes of the show, as well as the ending montage of the 2x10 season finale. In Gameday, we had a very touching scene between Felicia and Mats where they finally communicate. It's not the most understanding conversation but it's a start. It's an interesting contrast between their talk in 1x06 where Felicia revealed she saw Mats cheating on Leila versus the talk they're having now.

Another one of my favorite scenes is when Felicia and Ludde meet up at their bench in 2x10 after Ludde has called her up asking Felicia to come if there's any chance of them getting back together.

The dialogue is simple and to the point. There's no long-winded love confession for the sake of drama. It's a moment that the whole season has been building up for, and when we finally get there we realize that this is how love should be.

Easy and simple.

Ludde: You came back. Felicia: Yeah, I did. Ludde: Do you remember our first date here? Felicia: No. I’ve forgotten. Ludde: I was so freaking nervous. Felicia: Everything you said… Did you mean it? Because you hurt me, Ludvig. And I… I’ve really tried to hurt you back, but… It’s not possible. I can’t… Not love you. Do you think… Do you think it can be us again? Ludde: What do you think? Felicia: I don’t want anything else.

Ludde admitting how nervous he was on their first date is sweet and shows us how much they've been through. Felicia is struggling to find the words to say and she's acknowledging how hurt she was, but still can't seem to find it in her heart to hate Ludde. It's honest.

Another plotline that I think was a little underrated in season 2 is the GECED company going bankrupt and Ola, Klara's dad, is under investigation for financial crime. This isn't a storyline you would usually see in a teen series. It's much more serious. It also gave us a really touching and poignant scene in 2x08 between Ola and Klara sitting on the floor of his office, where Klara has to comfort her father who starts crying.

Ola: When you were little you used to sit like this. On the floor, while I was working. You had your own room, but you wanted to sit with me. “Help daddy work”. Mom’s doing the right thing by leaving for a while, don’t blame her for that. Klara: What, you can’t just leave because things get a little tough. Ola: Maybe you should get away for a while too. You know, I never wanted you two to… That you… Everything’s gone. Klara: It will be fine. It will be fine. Ola: Sorry. I’m sorry.

In 2x09, Klara is at a party when she notices a bunch of missed calls from her dad. She immediately senses something is wrong and rushes home to find her dad having attempted suicide. It's executed very well and I really liked the more serious tone they went for in season 2.

It set up season 3 perfectly, which continued with the darker themes but balanced them very well with the more light-hearted moments.

Season 3: Finding one's footing

Season 3 was a highly anticipated season. I thought the season 2 finale was masterfully done and it left me wanting more. When season 1 finished on its cliffhanger of the video leaking, the focus only seemed to be on that.

But with season 2 there's Felicia/Ludde getting back together and Ludde having been sued by Jack, Jack threatening that he would leak all of the Kroon's family secrets, Klara's dad passing away, Elias deciding to get on the train and go to the draft combine anyway, Amie having finally become a recording artist but being isolated and heartbroken... There's so much to unpack, and it's a lot more interesting than the ending of season 1.

Where's Jack?

Jack is supposed to be the main villain but he's gone for most of the season, failing to show up until 3x05. In the season 2 finale Jack makes a huge deal about how he's going to destroy Felicia's life. He's threatening her in a very violent and abusive way.

Jack: [...] I know a lot about you, Felicia. And your nice family. It’s enough for me to leak to one news site. I can destroy you. Do you get it? I’ll tell them everything. The drugs, the cheating, your abortion! Felicia: Shut up! Jack: Hey. Huh? Did you seriously think I wanted to be with you? The little Kroon princess, who has gotten everything for free her whole fucking life! You and Elias! Like spoiled brats! You don’t understand what it means to fight for something!

In 2x10, Jack decides to report Ludde for assault but he doesn't follow through on destroying this family that he hates. If there's anything Jack seems to despise above all, it should be the Kroon family, right? So why did he fight back with Ludde but not the Kroon family?

I expected Jack to leak all the Kroon secrets at the beginning of season 3, but Felicia seems strangely calm at the funeral which I'm assuming only takes place two weeks or so after Ola's passing in the season 2 finale.

Then, a whole year passes with no indication that Jack is ever going to leak anything. As season 3 was airing, I commented on how strange this felt in an ask I received:

One of my main questions about the time jump is the whole thing with Jack saying he was going to ruin Felicia’s and the Kroon family’s reputation in the press. It seemed like nothing really came of that? I’m pretty sure that detail hasn’t been abandoned entirely and that Jack will come back (we’ve already seen a glimpse of him in the third episode), but it feels strange that Jack threatened to leak all her secrets and then just never did. I got the impression that Jack was a person who, when having his pride wounded, would do pretty much anything to get back at the person who insulted him. And yet there’s no mention of where Jack has been during that time or what he’s been doing. I feel like I would be pretty paranoid about this if I was Felicia, but we don’t see this haunting her until episode 3 when she sees a flash of Jack before realizing it was just some random guy. It seems strange that Felicia was relatively at ease during the funeral (which I assume took place not long after Jack first threatened her) and after the time jump. We don’t really know what’s been going on during that year, but Felicia seems to be fine and like she hasn’t had any thoughts of Jack at all. Maybe she assumed that his threats were empty and that he wouldn’t actually leak anything to the press, which is reasonable but at the same time I don’t understand why Jack has yet to do anything after a year. He was really pissed off in the season 2 finale, after all.

Going to repeat one of the things I wrote here because it deserves to be mentioned twice, and this point is one of my biggest issues.

I got the impression that Jack was a person who, when having his pride wounded, would do pretty much anything to get back at the person who insulted him.

I feel like this was kind of a plot hole that wasn't explained. Jack is ruthless and doesn't hold back at all when his true colors come out. He has no problem talking about the sexual relationship he had with Felicia in front of her father. Jack is just that horrible.

So what prevented him from ruining the Kroon family's lives earlier, when it seems to be the thing he's wanted for years?

Michael's predictable predicament

Michael first appears at the end of 3x04, where he calls Amie up to tell her he's her father.

Man: Hey! Sorry for calling so late. Is it Amie? Amie Condé? Amie: Yeah. Man: I saw you on TV the other day. I’m Michael Condé. I’m your father.

In the next episode, we get a voice-over of the continued conversation between him and Amie.

Michael: [...] I understand if it’s shocking. I’m in Oskarshamn for work for a few weeks and— Could we meet up someday?

So, it's clear what the writers are going for here. It's the estranged father who returns into the child's life when they've become successful. We're made to believe it's a Daddy Had a Good Reason for Abandoning You trope when Michael meets up with Amie and tells her why he left.

Michael: So Petra, she— Has she said anything about me? Amie: Well… That you moved from Sweden before I was born… That you’re working as a lawyer. That you didn’t want to see me. Michael: I was… I was young when we met. Your mom and I. And everything went really fast. I was in love, but she had feelings for somebody else. And when she found out that she— That she was expecting you, then… She didn’t want me there. She said I wasn’t father material. To some degree she might’ve been right, but… I wasn’t much older than you are now. I had just gotten into a law school in Berlin. When I finally came back to Sweden, then… She didn’t let me see you. I had already lost you by then, but I want you to know that I— I’ve thought of you. And about a week ago, I… I’m seeing you. On TV. There you are. With my last name. I’m so proud.

However, it's pretty easy to identify the holes in Michael's story. To be honest this whole storyline was predictable from the very start. Before Michael even came into the story, I made this post which pretty much summed up Michael's whole character when we didn't even know he existed yet (this was when 3x03 was the latest episode that had aired).

I don’t think we’ve heard any mention of Amie’s dad in the whole series except for 3x02 when Amie was being interviewed and was asked about the Condé name where she said that while Samuelsson was from her mother’s side, and Condé was from “the other side”. I found her word choice a little interesting. I don’t think Amie’s dad has passed—but rather that he’s alive and just chosen to not be a part of her life, which is why Petra seemed to be a little offended when asking Amie why she didn’t want her last name anymore. This might also be why Amie said “the other side” rather than “my dad’s side” because they have an estranged relationship. [...] I’m not really sure if they’ll do anything with Amie’s dad (maybe they’ll go for that trope where the parent who previously abandoned their child returns after the child has accomplished something big/something major happened and the parent wants something from them for personal gain?).

When we actually get to meet Michael and hear his explanation of why he left, I wrote this post pointing out some of the holes in this storyline.

Michael meeting Amie only after she’s become famous is a little suspicious, but it’s understandable if he previously thought she didn’t want to meet him and then sees her with his last name on national television. Obviously he would contact her after that. I feel like there were some question marks with Michael’s whole story though, and the fact that his work just conveniently happened to send him to Oskarshamn after he’d just seen Amie on TV. Maybe I’m missing something here, but how did he know Amie had gone back to Oskarshamn if he saw her living as a pop star in Stockholm? Was this information about Amie quitting the tour and going back to her hometown even online? If Elias (who actually witnessed Amie saying she was done and quitting) seemed taken aback when he saw Amie in Oskarshamn, then how did Michael know?

I do think Michael will return for season 4 though, so hopefully this storyline will be straightened out a little. We don't really know what Michael has been up for the past few years and if he has a family of his own. Maybe he'll contact Amie again to tell her she has some younger half-siblings?

They ended on sour terms, but if Michael does have his own family it's something Amie deserves to know and she can decide whatever she wants to do. I'd also like to see a Michael/Petra reunion, but I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

This storyline wasn't bad, and I do appreciate we got to find out what the situation with Amie's dad was. I also liked how I was able to sympathize with Michael. He's not entirely awful, even if he did put a lot of blame on Petra. It's one of those situations where you don't really know what it's like to be in Michael's position unless you've experienced it, and it's very realistic.

Plot holes

Some of the plot holes of season 3 that I've already mentioned are how Jack waited a whole year before leaking the Kroon family's secrets and how Michael conveniently knew Amie was in Oskarshamn when nobody seemed to know she was coming except her mom.

I actually don't mind that it was never explained how Michael got Amie's phone number either, because that's usually pretty easy to find with a Google search. Things like addresses, economic status, and even your criminal history are easily accessible in Sweden when googling someone's name. So finding someone's phone number is probably fairly easy as well.

On the other hand, one of the most glaring plot holes appeared in 3x08. In this episode entitled Lost, the Kroon family is frantically searching for Felicia who has gone missing. Leila and Elias knock on Petra's door to see if Amie is there and might know something about Felicia's whereabouts. Petra tells them Amie isn't there and they leave.

Someone left me an anonymous ask which I answered in this post, pointing out how it was strange that Elias didn't just call Amie to ask her when she wasn't at home. We know Elias has her number because they've been talking on the phone and texting each other several times before in the season.

In 3x08, when Elias and his mom go to Amie's house and ask Petra if Amie has seen or spoken to Felicia or whether she's home, I couldn't help but wonder, uh Elias why not just call Amie and ask her if she has seen or spoken to Felicia? [...] if Elias had called her and she heard how frightened him and his family were and police being involved she would have told him and then there would be no point in the 3x09 episode really.

This is a very strong point. You could argue that maybe Elias just didn't think of that but if they went out of their way to visit Amie's house only to not find her there, it would seem like calling her instead would just be a logical next step in the situation? Here's what I wrote in response to this ask.

This is an issue I had with 3x08 and 3x09 as well. I had a hard time actually enjoying the moment between Felicia, Klara, and Amie knowing that her family was getting increasingly worried for her and even thought for a short moment that Felicia was lying dead at the bottom of the ocean. All that could’ve been avoided. To add, it didn’t make a lot of sense to me that when Klara finally decided to call someone she called Amie instead of Elias. An ex-friend of Felicia’s instead of her brother who could’ve helped a lot more. What was Amie supposed to do when she showed up at the hotel, exactly? I know there was the thing with Klara only knowing Amie’s number off the top of her head, but there is no reason why she couldn’t have gone down to the reception while Felicia was sleeping and asked to use a computer just to get a quick message to Elias. Like, “hey, Felicia attempted something bad but she’s safe with me, we’re at this hotel in this room but she didn’t want me to call anybody, I don’t know what to do”. That would’ve been so much better than keeping quiet about the situation for nearly 24 hours. I know that Klara probably has trauma from leaving her dad at the hospital after his suicide attempt and that she probably didn’t want to go against Felicia’s wishes. I understand the first part 100%. But Felicia was in a very bad place emotionally and was thinking that her whole family hated her when that wasn’t the case. I feel like in a situation like that you kind of have to be the bad guy just to ensure the family that Felicia was safe. Even if everything turned out alright in the end, it could’ve gone so much worse if Felicia had wanted to be kept hidden for longer. [...] Elias calling Amie would’ve been an easy solution to this whole debacle but we would’ve lost the drama. It’s still somewhat of a plot hole though, like you said.

I understand it was done this way for dramatic effect, but that doesn't really patch up the plot hole.

I also found it strange how many people turned on Felicia after Jack ruined her reputation in the press. I talked about this in an ask I received.

I don’t understand why the public turned on Felicia so harshly. And Leila too, for that matter. The way Jack told the story about how these two women had things done to them should indicate that they’re not the ones to be blamed. If I read this article and found out an 18-year-old girl got pregnant by a “violent criminal” who forced her to abort and then abused her I would not be angry with the girl. I would be angry that she was physically abused and also outed on her sexuality for being bi. If I read this article and found out Leila had been cheated on by her husband repeatedly with her best friends, I wouldn’t be angry at her. I would not agree with the decision to turn to alcohol (same as Felicia turning to drugs), but I wouldn’t blame them. And I feel like a lot of people should’ve been on Leila’s side after finding out the reason why they divorced. I don’t understand why people are saying they’re disappointed in Felicia and calling her fake when she’s been through so much trauma in her life. I feel like if this actually happened in real life, all the blame would be shifted to the men because they’re the ones who—in this story—are painted as the bad guys (with the exception of Jack, considering he was anonymous).

I got another anonymous ask sent in after this, pointing out how the anger directed towards Felicia was considerably more about her drug use rather than the abuse she endured. Here was my response to that:

[...] the drug use should’ve been understandable considering the stuff Felicia had been through was also written in that article. I don’t know. I can understand people unfollowing her if they didn’t want their young children to be exposed to all the controversy, but it’s still strange that everything Felicia received was hate messages. Did everybody just skip over the part where the anonymous source stated that Felicia was violently forced to have an abortion by an ex-criminal and probably did so out of fear for her life? Yes, we know this is fake, but why didn’t anybody seem to mention this? [...] they seem to have written this storyline with the idea in mind that the public was against the whole Kroon family. Felicia got comments such as “So fucking disappointed in you and your family”, “What a nasty fucking family”, “You and your family are so fucking disgusting”. So I think Leila received plenty of hate for drinking instead of divorcing her husband sooner and basically turning a blind eye to all the problems her family went through. That’s what Jack told the press, at least. The anger seemed to be directed towards every member of the Kroon family and that didn’t make a lot of sense to me.

Again, this is something the writers did to dramatize the situation and they kind of forgot to consider that what Jack actually told the journalist wasn't as incriminating for Felicia and Leila as it were for Mats and Elias.

The magic of season 3

What season 3 really excelled in, to me, was delving into some more serious topics as well as showing the gradual development of Amie and Elias' relationship. Amie and Elias are the prime example of how a slow burn is so much better than having a couple get together too fast, like Felicia and Ludde did back in season 1.

While season 3 was still airing, I wrote a post dedicated to questions I had received about Elias and Amie. Here's one of the things I said about them:

I think Elias’ interest in her really started to grow after he saw how caring Amie was to Felicia, and later on connecting with her on how they both ended up back in Oskarshamn after following their dreams which didn’t exactly turn out the way they expected. Yes, Elias has always sort of been watching and admiring Amie from afar, but that interest didn’t start growing until he actually got to know her. The experiences they had in the US and Stockholm, respectively, probably changed their mindsets and in my opinion it makes so much more sense for them to get together now than it would’ve in season 1 or season 2.

I still believe that Elias and Amie are the best-written couple of the whole show (at least so far), because they just make sense. We'll see what season 4 has in store for them because we have yet to actually see them in a romantic relationship, but I feel like their personalities and characters just fit together really well.

Another thing I really appreciated was the depiction of Felicia and Ludde's declining relationship. Things like that happen so easily, and I liked how we see Felicia do this huge gesture of planning a picnic for Ludde in 3x04 but there were still underlying problems between them. It's like that in real life too—no matter how big of a romantic gesture you make, communication will always be the number one priority in any relationship and that's where Felicia and Ludde fall short.

The obvious disconnect between them when it comes to money is also important. It's been like this from the beginning, but season 3 gave us an actual conversation about it.

Felicia: Please, I can’t talk about this. Seriously. It was stupid of me to bring this up from the beginning. Fuck, I get such anxiety talking about the future— Ludde: You get anxiety? I’m the one walking around with no money in my account. Mom and dad had to get a loan to pay off mine and Andreas’ fines. I’m playing on a shitty old synth, and living off you like some leech. That’s anxiety. Felicia: Everything isn’t about money. Ludde: Says the one who has money. Felicia: Move out then, if it’s so fucking hard to feel like a leech.

This felt very realistic. Of course a person like Felicia wouldn't think money is everything when she's never experienced financial issues. She's able to move out into her own one-bedroom apartment as soon as she's turned 18, it seems, and doesn't worry at all about the cost of furnishing and decorating it. She didn't even pay for it herself, because Mats mentions he's the one on the mortgage loan. It seems like Felicia has never had an actual job either, and that's starting to worry her because she has no idea what she should be doing.

Felicia: [...] I don’t know what I’ll be or what I’ll do in the future. I don’t know that. Ludde: You’re still an influencer— Felicia: Don’t say I’m an influencer, please. Do you think I want to be that my whole life? It’s not even a career. I'm— I’m graduating next year, and I… My grades suck, and— I have no plan. I only have you. Not like that—I have you. That’s what I have. I want to be here, in Oskarshamn. I don’t want to go to the US and chase some dream and be a hockey wife. That’s not a life. Sometimes I wish neither of us had a plan, just us together here.

Felicia's character finally offers something interesting here, which I've waited for since season 1. She's not just a party girl anymore who has issues with drugs. She's a privileged teenager who is co-dependent on the guys she meets and who has anxiety about the future, to the point where she wishes she could stay in Oskarshamn in her little apartment forever stuck in limbo.

She has to face a harsh reality when Ludde decides to break up with her, and later on when her name is slandered in the press and people all over the country are sending her hate messages. Her own family is furious with her and Felicia has nobody. She's pushed away a lot of people and her mental state is just crumbling in front of our eyes.

It's a strong storyline and actually very well executed. Almost everything gets taken away from her, and at the end of 3x07 you can almost feel what Felicia is feeling. We've been with her through this whole journey, almost, and we understand why she feels like suicide is the only answer.

It's tough to watch that final scene of 3x07. It's greatly amplified by Alva Bratt's superb acting, but the writing of the journey there is also amazing. It's very difficult to write a sensitive storyline like this.

Overall, I don't have a lot of critique towards season 3. I loved most of the episodes. I elaborated on this further in a separate post:

[Episodes 3x04 and 3x05] showcased what Eagles should be all about so well, which is relationships plus the struggles you go through as a teenager in a small town, and then of course hockey. The hockey game episodes are really good, even if I don’t think 3x05 topped 2x05 (the game where Ludde got tackled and knocked out). I loved the contrast in Date night of the budding relationship between Elias and Amie and then that fight between Felicia and Ludde on the cliff. [...] It was interesting to see how this sweet gesture from Felicia turned into a fight between the two of them. I thought that was very realistic, because no matter how big of a gesture Felicia made to apologize there were still underlying problems that they needed to talk about. I also loved the “non-date” between Elias and Amie in this episode. It was cute to see them goofing off before the movie started and then talking about it on the way home. I liked how Elias could connect to her on how they had both returned to Oskarshamn. The recent episodes that dropped last week (3x08 and 3x09) were very strong and discussed some important subject matters [...] They were dark, but not necessarily bad because they needed to happen. However, I have to say that I prefer Eagles when it’s about hockey and teenage relationships. 3x04 and 3x05 made me kind of nostalgic for season 1 and I liked the vibe they both had.

Eagles season 3 is in my opinion the best season of the show so far, and we haven't seen any signs suggesting that there is any reason for season 4 to not be even better.

Season 4: Hopes and wishes

Considering how each season has been increasing in quality bit by bit, I have pretty high hopes for the writing in season 4. I'm excited to see how the transition from teenager to young adult will be portrayed in the main characters, and what their future will hold for them after they've graduated.

My main questions are if Felicia and Ludde will find their way back to each other or if they'll remain broken up (that would be realistic as well), if Klara will reconcile with her mom, what's in store for Elias's hockey career, and if Amie will leave her label and maybe opt for something more independent.

I also want to see how Felicia deals with the new home she's checked in to, and if Ludde will in fact go to the school now that it seems Andreas will be getting into trouble again.

Amie and Klara are kind of wild cards here, because it somewhat feels like they've already reached their happy endings. Amie is famous and successful in her pop music career, and Klara has found her place as a businesswoman following in her father's footsteps. Maybe these developments should've come in season 4 instead of rushing them.

Nonetheless, I have faith in the writers. The writing suffered a little in seasons 1 and 2 but it has gotten better. Most of the things I pointed out about season 3 were just small details in an otherwise stellar season.

In conclusion...

This post was critical, but I tend to be critical of every show I watch. Eagles is still a very special show for me and having grown up in a Swedish small town myself I'm very fond of the show and its characters.

So huge thanks to the creator, Stefan H. Lindén, for making this show a reality and also to the director Carl-Petter Montell for contributing to the writing in season 3. And of course the writers of the show which include Michaela Hamilton, Fanny Ekstrand, and Anton Nyberg (plus Amanda Adolfsson who helped write 1x02 and 1x05 and Simon Ekbäck Nordström who is credited for helping with the hockey scenes in 3x05).

I hope you guys enjoyed this long, long post and major kudos to you if you read this far!

[falconfriend]

AU where some different things are possible. Don't read too much into Jay's techno babble, quite honestly, I might edit some of it out, it's not the point.

Don't be surprised if you see this edited before the final ff.net post, but it's here, and I'm happy with it. The original concept has a chapter in which our two main characters talk together and process, and that is still very, very important to me, I'll probably bring it back.

See tags for warnings.

--

The amount of power Zane is channeling right now shouldn't be possible. Jay made darn sure to learn everything he could about Zane's possible repairs while Dr. Julien was still alive—the other guys didn't like to think about it back then, but come on, he was old, Jay knew, everyone else knew too even if they weren't saying it— so anyway, he'd spin wild hypotheticals, ask what happens if one tiny piece of machinery goes wrong.

Lloyd would hit the point where he wanders off, self-consciously chuckling that this isn't really his area but he feels like he's kinda learning things, and Jay would watch the clock tick until Nya got bored... and then, that was his opening, to fire off whatever question would come off as too rude while the others were around.

The doctor would smile in a sort of understanding, if slightly flummoxed, way, and he'd start answering. Jay got a lot of answers! He figured out how to put all of Dr. Julien's numbers into his numbers, you know, the kind we learn in the modern century, and made a copy of Zane's schematics with his notes. He had a harder time finding the focus to figure out the Falcon, but Nya and Lloyd are on that anyway. Logical division of labor.

What is he talking about. What was he thinking about. Zane's dying.

Distractedly, he answers- "I said critical mass. If he doesn't contain that, he could go nuclear."

"He's containing it, right?"

"It doesn't- matter." Containing it also means dying.

"Why wouldn't it matter, Jay-"

Jay asked a lot of questions, but he never did even think to ask about Zane's power source. Shouldn't that be the first thing? Why weren't we asking questions about the power source?

He knows approximately how much power Zane runs on. He knows it isn't this much. He knows how a storm feels, right before lightning is about to strike, what builds up in the air and how much damage it can do, right before he—

Jay takes a step forward.

Wu puts an arm across his shoulders, pulling him back. Jay just about slaps him off before realizing that's a quick way to get himself thrown to the ground and shut up before he can start,

So he waits, a frustrating two, three seconds, until he finds words.

"I can help." His throat is dry and he wouldn't mind except that he needs to be louder. "Get me to him, I can help!"

The rest of the ninja are turning to look at Jay… so… slow. Cole looks like he could be swimming through molasses. Jay seethes, and flexes and unfurls his fists by his sides to let it out, and takes a small step back instead of forward.

It works. Sensei releases him, almost.

Kai looks like he might be committing a crime if he lets himself look away from Zane, which isn't helping. Finally, though, he opens his mouth before Jay can. "Your powers? …Do you think?"

"'Do I think-' yes, I think, that's electricity. Or, electromagnetic- whatever. It's energy. I can feel it, Kai- this is taking too long! Where's Pixal- Pixal! Pixal, yoo-hoo, tell them I can help!"

"That won't be necessary," says Wu. Everyone is moving like an old man right now, taking their time; Jay's sure of it. Remember that comment about Cole? It feels like Jay's the only thing who isn't wading through molasses. Jay and the Digital Overlord, that is, and Zane, who cries out so bad Jay spends that moment sure that everything's over and Zane is gone now-

Everyone is moving like the slow old man Sensei talks like, but then Jay sort of- must have blinked, or something, because suddenly, they're all shifted. Cole sets a hand sturdily against his shoulder. It takes him a moment to realize that they're all on his side.

Jay finds a hardened, gold feeling deep in his chest, and latches onto it, and uses it to find his voice. "Okay." Okay. Look. Think. "Cole, I'm going to run at you and I need you to launch me, onto that web. Lloyd, use your energy to boost me."

"But-"

"We don't have time! It's just a scratch."

"Keep him on the edge of the blast. Try to center it about two meters from him." Jay looks back at Nya, Nya looks back at him. It's like they're both realizing how small everything has been. They're nineteen- Jay's nineteen, Nya's eighteen. It's like- like, we didn't need to know the shape of the care right now, I care about you.

Nya waves him away to the task at hand with a smile that means What? Anyway, you're coming back.

Jay looks at Cole and Lloyd. They look back at him. "Well, let's go." With a serious expression, not a word in response and not wasting a second, Cole stoops, palms up and fingers intertwined, a foot-sized platform.

"I'm ready for you, Walker."

He gulps. Time freezes for a second and then skips forward again, like half a second that definitely shouldn't be allowed to be that long. "Okay."

Kai steps forward, like he's going to- hug him, maybe? Rub his back? Push him forward?

"Okay ninja-go—" he kicks off and twists. Off the ground, off Cole's intertwined hands, launching him into the air- about to panic and yell Now, Lloyd when Lloyd finds the right moment anyway, blast re-aiming him just as he's about to fall-

He's sailing through the air, back sore and ears still ringing as the wind whistles past them. Ninjago city sails beneath him. He's two feet short of Zane's hand. He's going to miss.

He's going to miss, he's sorry, and they don't have a second shot, and not that it would be okay if he didn't but now he's going to get all caught in the explosion too,

And Zane reaches back, and grabs his hand.

The jolt that immediately moves through Jay is an absolutely massive electrical discharge. It tries to run from him straight to ground; at first, he was not connected to the circuit, so the electricity is looking for him as its way out. Here's the thing about electricity—it doesn't ask questions. It's already moving by the time your question is halfway out of your mouth, and that's why you need to either be five steps ahead or be ready to start improvising right now or else you're dead.

Something about that isn't how electricity should work, though. It doesn't rush into... a wire that isn't connected to a throughline. Batteries have two ends, positive and negative, and a wire that isn't connected to both of them might as well not be a wire at all— electricity isn't trying to get out, it's trying to get to somewhere, electrons hungry to get to that battery's positive side. Every single electrical invention in the world is formed by humans forcing those electrons to take the long way.

This electricity doesn't have a destination.

The Digital Overlord is always destroying. That means energy in him is leeching outward; this isn't just entropy, this is entropy gone rogue. Jay doesn't know where he's getting the electricity from, but- if he can destroy, maybe he can create. Who knows. Whatever. What becomes apparent right then is that it seems like the Overlord needs to always leech outward, and what Zane is doing is containing him. Sooner or later the snake eats its own tail.

Zane nods, with a firm little hum, as if he can tell from Jay's face what's going on in his head. It's businesslike, and it jolts Jay back to work. Jay can stand this for a few minutes longer, but Zane- Zane's dying.

So: parallel paths. Create two paths, two options, and the electricity will keep looking for how it can be the least crowded. It's like the reason air leaves a popped balloon, kinda like pressure but with a thousand electrons that all hate each other and feel indifferent about you. Or picture... getting into a crowded convention center, and someone coming running to announce they've just opened a second doorway, and that you can get in through either line. Create two paths, and only half of it goes through Zane.

Zane releases his hand.

They really, really need to have a talk later, but Jay is relieved it's not a talk about being willing to be saved. He's helping himself be saved.

Jay holds one of the golden contact points in one hand, and one in the other. The energy rolling around his ligaments and bones deflates, taking the easiest path.

"I had hoped you would do that behind me," says Zane, whose eyes are now closed.

Jay doesn't really try for a little laugh, so much as his body tries for a little laugh, like his brain is fine-tuned into making his excuses with or without him. "You could've said that earlier."

"No, it's alright. Just… here, scoot a little to the side-"

"This is pathetic," hisses a condensed-evil murmur over their shoulder, like it's obligated to, "YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT ME?"

"Yes," says Zane.

And the bluewhite what-is-that-stuff that he'd once used to take down a plain old treehorn beams closer past Jay's cheek than he can really say he's comfortable with. It's almost like being near a fire- a live wire, static. He's not too cold, but he's sure if he touched it, it would move straight through rapid-action frostbite into part of his face falling off.

"Jay, now." Jay isn't sure what he means by now, that uh, isn't very clear, but he spends a half-second in panic before realizing Zane's ice is running a cable to ground. It'll keep a direct hit from coming back for them. It means, since this is the only window before it connects, they need to hit him now.

Jay pulls the electricity out of himself, out of the air- he takes whatever excess Zane will give him, when he touches his hand- and he breaks the circuit. He shoves it, with force, the opposite of the ways electrons want to work, not the way lightning wants to work—but that's the first step of making lightning. You build up a gap. The buildup snaps from him into the Digital Overlord's metal body. Something is wrung out of him like a sponge.

There's a thunderclap that shakes the city and an explosion that's- like a video game character died. Like it's not a real explosion, it's just something- dissipating. The city just turns white.

Jay becomes aware that he's flying again for the first time in two years, and Zane is holding onto him but losing strength. And then it turns out that he's got his arms around Zane, too. He only figures that out when he starts to panic that Zane's going to fall, and the tug of Zane's weight on his arms doubles, and alerts him that they're there, secure. His body was thinking ahead, even if he wasn't.

Zane's out. He's… fine. He's fine. He's got to be fine.

And while we're at it, Jay's hoping he's fine. His heart feels- wrong.

The first thing he needs to do is get back to land, the second thing he needs to do is look at… is get Nya to look at Zane, he's not even sure he can trust his senses. Huh, hang on, there's a sound other than the ringing in his ears.

"Jay!"

That's Pixal.

"Jay!"

She's standing on the roof of Borg Tower, waving her arms, and just as Jay starts to settle enough to realize he's not frozen, adrenaline's not gonna stop him from moving and he should fly somewhere. ...Huh. He has to pick where.

It would be a really good move to let their friends see they're alive. Nya's good at robotics.

Pixal and Borg… can probably fix him faster.

Zane sparks, hard.

Like Superman, made of light, Jay descends toward Borg Tower in a graceful arc. His feet connect with the roof with a very soft patter. He locks eyes with Pixal to hand off their boy to her.

"Whoa, okay, Sparky, geez. Just thought I'd keep the sweat out of your eyes."

Well. That's not correct.

There are the tiles of a hospital ceiling in front of his eyes, which feels more correct. Apparently, Kai is also in the room, because—

"Yeah. He's okay."

—well, because that's Kai.

Cole, of all the things that could happen here, squeezes Jay's hand. It occurs to Jay that he could have died on- on really, really weird terms with him.

Whoof. Jay takes stock of his body. He starts by feeling the sheets, just to figure out where his body is, then investigates the muscles and aches beneath them. He's in one of those medical gowns that closes in the back.

Everything feels... pretty okay? No, everything feels like he's just been stretched in every direction like a piece of toffee.

No, everything feels like he's just been stretched in every direction like a piece of toffee, but also maybe like he is toffee, so he's fine.

He, uh, definitely can't move. And that feels wrong, but at least he's identified the reason he's in a hospital bed, rather than wondering. He'd find this a lot harder to process if he had walked away from it without a scratch at all, even though it would have been cooler. He sort of wonders if anyone would bring his chart over where he can read it.

"Uh, yeah, that's all great, but what about Zane?"

Kai lets out a small, slightly-amused very-concerned snort. "Jay, you asked that already. He's okay."

"Go easy on him."

That's Lloyd. There are, wow, a lot of people in this room. It's gotta be a pretty small room? Hospital rooms aren't that large. Are his parents here?

"They're on their way."

"My mouth keeps saying whatever's in my brain."

Cole laughs. "Hey, don't worry everyone, he's back to normal."

Jay's breath does a weird thing in his lungs. It's like his body is focusing on every sensory detail except where it hurts. "Yeah, you're just jealous of how I looked up there."

Cole could nearly double over laughing at another time, but right now everything about him is subdued, gentle. Jay could see him ruffling his hair if he wasn't, you know. In a hospital bed. "Sure am, sparkplug."

And there's quiet for a beat.

Jay continues, still staring at the ceiling, "Hey, Nya, how bad are you gonna kill me."

"Oh, uh—" That's Lloyd again, kicking one heel awkwardly back against the wall. Kai speaks quickly—

"She wanted to be here. It's killing her not to, I mean— everyone did. Sensei, too. We told them we've got you."

"That's nice."

"I-I said I'd run and call her once you're awake, just to let her know. I should probably go do that now. She's—"

"With Zane," Jay finishes, no bones about it. Kai nods. "That's nice." The way energy thrums from Jay's palms feels different now, like he's not just pulling it from the air, like there's a battery under his skin, but that's. That's a question for training time. It's sleep time, now.

A/N: Why did the writers say "it's reaching critical mass." I still don't know what that means. Zane's power source is presumably based on some kind of nuclear fission then, but I'm not sure what "critical mass" has to do with the Digital Overlord encounter? If anyone knows how that's relevant to how Zane died, please lend me your knowledge, I'd be very grateful and schooled.

Anyway, critically, this is an AU where it is possible for Jay to help, not an AU where Jay notices he can help. It's built on the assertion that there was nothing Jay could do in the original, but in this universe, different things were possible.

[cescalr]

9 and 23 for the ask game please 😊

9: Are there any fics you'd love to see but don't want to write yourself? What are they?

Ooh, um... I'm not sure! Something substantial for Cursed 2005, maybe, like a crossover with buffy or teen wolf or something, with jimbo as the pairing from cursed and idk just something interesting (please no b*angel or st*rek or st*dia), or a time travel fic for Supernatural that involves Dean as the POV but absolutely zero, nada, nothing of (even hints) De*tiel or winc*st, that's 100% a fix-it fic (bc my mans deserved a lot better than that ending smh. And so did Jo, and Anna, and Lisa and Ben and Charlie and Benny and- ).

23: What's one piece of advice you would give to anyone who wants to start writing or posting their writing online?

Hmm... Just go for it? Like, write whatever comes to mind and post it. And keep doing that. Over and over again, because it's all the same thing - practise. If you can't think of an idea, there's no reason not to go trawling for prompts. I've got this list of 200 prompts, can't remember where I found it, but it's really useful if I'm stuck. But yeah. Find some time, any amount of time, whether its 5 minutes or five hours, and write what you can, as much as you can, whether it's ten words or 10,000, or more or less, it doesn't matter. Just get words on screen (or on paper, if you prefer.) And then... post it. If the main issue is getting the courage to post it, don't read back over it. That's when the nervousness rears it's ugly head. Just post it. Straight up. Type right into the Ao3 doc and hit post if you have to, just... find a way to minimise the amount of time you give yourself to get all worked up about whether it's 'good enough' or not. It won't be perfect the first time you write something - nothing ever is. Everything requires practise. And each time you post something, you get better at it. It gets easier. If proofreading is the bane of your existence, just post it and come back later to fix any issues. If titling it is a problem pick a random word or a song lyric or hell, a sentence from the fic, anything at all. 'Working Title | Stiles POV All Human AU Stira Fic', even. Just. Anything. You can always change it later. Summaries an issue? Grab the first paragraph. Grab the first sentence. Put 'Stiles POV all human au, stira focus.' as the summary. Who cares? You. Can. Always. Change. It. Later.

That's the great thing about fic. Changing everything later is possible. Nothing here is permanent. If you aren't happy with something, that doesn't matter. So long as it's out there, you can get feedback (because often, we don't know why we aren't happy with something - outside help is always invaluable). Being scared of criticism is half the problem, for a lot of people... but - not to sugar coat - it's necessary. And, just to note, in my 10 years of fanfic writing, I have never, ever, gotten a single malicious comment. Not. Once. It's much rarer than people think it is. And even if you do, you can always delete it. Put comments on moderation, turn them off, if it's the main issue. Gather your confidence at your own pace - but don't forget feedback is necessary for improvement. Eventually you will need to accept it's going to happen - it's not an attack on you. It's an attempt at help. We're taught in school to consume media critically, and those who internalise that will comment constructively. English class can leave an impression - the worst thing is to take any of it personally. Having a negative mindset (they hate it) versus a positive mindset (they want me to improve at this thing I enjoy doing, they're trying to help, they're being supportive) can make all the difference.

Eventually, you'll need to turn those comments back on. But you don't need to take anyone's shit, hence why moderation is a thing. There is a difference between constructive criticism and hate - but it's rare you'll get the latter. Tone is hard to convey in text form; benefit of the doubt is the best way forward.

Make sure you've got friends/mutuals you can ramble with about your fics. it's genuinely the most helpful thing. Give them snippets, do the whole cheerleader routine for each other. It's great. Brainstorm with each other. Not necessarily doing collaborative fic (though you might find that's what works best for you!) but just, geeking out with each other. It makes a huge boost for your ego, and that's useful for your confidence when it comes to posting things. But also, if you trust them, it makes taking their advice easier.

Sometimes, it might feel like two steps forward and one step back. That's great! It's still a step forward. Go at your own pace. The worst thing you can do is rush yourself and burn out. If it takes you a year to update, it takes you a year. I assure you, the readers will still be there, and they'll be happy to see the update. Nobody's going to hate you for taking your time. Prioritise your health. I promise it makes your work better if you're in a good place, and you don't have too much on your plate.

Though, having said that, if you find you work best with about twenty wips all at once updated every week, then go for it! Like I said; your own pace. If a schedule helps you, have one. If it doesn't, don't. I don't have a schedule. I have about 40 wips posted, and a few that aren't yet. It can take me a year to update, or I'll do four in a week. People are pleased either way - what matters is that you wrote something, and it exists, and other people can read it. Isn't that awesome? You've made something. You've made a mark. Someone's happy because of you, because you wrote something they like. Who cares if there's twenty typos and you use the wrong you're* (*or equivalent in your language, ofc) - you can fix that later. And it didn't stop that person's enjoyment of the first fic you ever posted, which might not be as good as your future fics, but it's still special. It's still yours.

Prioritise the thing you want to prioritise. Plot, relationships (of any nature), whatever. Prioritise that. The rest will fall into place. Personally, I prioritise characterisation. interpersonal dynamics follow, part and parcel of character exploration, then plot, as an extension. Do what suits you. And people don't tend to mind very much about any of these. If characterisation matters to you not one whit, just put OOC in the tags and be done with it. Plot doesn't matter? Perfectly fine! You don't want to write ships? Nobody's forcing you. Do what you want. It's just fanfiction. That's kind of the point. There's no need to feel pressure to write a certain thing. I'm in a lot of fandoms with a lot of very large ships. I'd get a lot more readers if I wrote st*rek, or d*stiel, or whatever, but I don't, because I wouldn't enjoy it. Write what you want to see. What you want to read. That's the best advice I can give. If you cry at your own fic, perfect. If you laugh at your own fic, brilliant. If your own fic leaves you all giddy like, grinning wide, amazing. It's gonna give someone else that reaction, too.

Hits, kudos, comments - they're not everything. Ao3, for harry potter, has 5000 pages of fic, with some of the tags I don't like excluded. It's not a case of people not liking your fic - it's a case of people not finding it. Don't worry. Recognition will come with time. Also, the ratio for fics is kind of awful, anyway. Comments and kudos vs hits is always poor; 2%, 5%, 7%. Don't worry too much about it. If people read it, it's likely they liked it. A lot of people are just lazy, and don't press the kudos button. A lot of people are incredibly nervous, or don't know what to say, so they don't comment. Another thing; some of your fics are going to be more popular than others. This is normal. Fandom size, fandom activity, content of fic, tags - prevalence of fic type, etc etc. One of my fics has around 15k notes. the rest are all below 6k. the runner up is a whole 10k below that fic. This is to be expected, and it's nothing to tear your hair out about. Write, first and foremost, for yourself. The rest, as always, comes later.

Really, tldr; you can always fix it later. the rest comes later. recognition comes later. the best thing to do - the first thing to do, the only thing to do - is just start. Post something. Anything. And go from there however you wish.

In 2016 i had zero subscribers on Ao3. I've got 72 now. These things just take time. In 2016 i'd written 30k words. I've written 1.2 million now. These things just take time. Through fandom, mostly fanfiction, I've gained people I'd consider friends. I think it's a really cool endeavour, and I think - for your confidence, peace of mind, and social sphere - it's also a really positive one.

[paladinwife]

Nothing Without Me

Summary: Hurt and angry in the wake of Captain Tousen’s departure from the Soul Society, Hilda desperately seeks greater strength. 

Content warnings: spoilers for the Soul Society arc of Bleach, mild mentions of blood and bruising, flashbacks to a bad romantic relationship.

Tagging @camellias-and-coriander, who wanted to see the finished product!

---

“You’re nothing without me.”

Those were the last words he ever said to her, and ever still they rang in her head. Perhaps they haunted her now more so than ever.

~~~

“Hilda, please, it’s not your fault.”

Hilda sat on the edge of her bed, head hung in her hands. Her eyes were dull and dark, as if she hadn’t slept in some time. Rangiku stood in her doorway, brow furrowed. 

“But how did I not know? What did I miss?” Hilda turned her tired gaze towards Rangiku. “Where did I go wrong?” 

“Hilda, you can’t blame yourself.” Rangiku sat on the bed beside her, scooting in close. “I know it hurts, but there’s nothing you could have done.”

She accepted the woman’s touch, but her gaze fell back to the floor in front of her. “Still, it feels like I’m just missing something. Like I failed somehow and can’t even realize how.”

“Here, come here.” She wrapped her arms around Hilda, squeezing her in a tight hug. Hilda froze for a moment before softening in her arms. “You couldn’t control it. I couldn’t either. You’d never say I failed, would you?” Hilda shook her head. “Then be more gentle to yourself.” She pulled away, brushing a disheveled strand of hair from her face. “Let’s just have some time together, okay? We both need it.”

“Yeah. Yeah… I’d like that.” She cracked a slight smile.

She wanted her here, she really did. She didn’t want to be alone. Still, the words echoed in her head.

~~~

Hilda’s family was never a very esteemed one. No weighty reputation behind her name, no power, and no expectations for her beyond being simply another girl living in the rukongai. Society at large never expected very much from her.

So it was a surprise when she, through her own determination, achieved a position in the Shinigami Academy. It wasn’t that it had never been done before, and it was certainly not unheard of from people from her district to attend, women or otherwise. Still, she never carried the expectations of a noble house, and perhaps as a result, she was never expected to achieve.

Less still was it expected when she announced her engagement to a noble. A real noble. Hardly a member of the Four Houses, and yet one of some repute. A classmate, still, but one whose social standing was beyond comparison with hers. No one, least of all herself, expected him to take interest in her, nor was she vying for his attention. Deep down, she wondered what he saw in her - her looks, perhaps? Her academic achievements? She couldn’t see how she was different from any of the other women studying with her. Still, she accepted it.

She thought she was happy.

At least, she did at first. Soon, the praise turned to criticisms. Her achievements in the academy were compared negatively to his own. Any task she was asked to do drew some kind of complaint, regardless of how she handled it. Her decisions were questioned enough to make her doubt her own competence. And then, one day, it all ended.

“Hilda, it’s over. I’m calling off the wedding.”

“What? Slow down, what do you-”

“I’ve found someone else. A noble, a real one.”

“But-”

“And she doesn’t struggle at all with the things you clearly can’t handle.”

“Shuichi, wait-”

“So, we’re done. There’s no use begging. Maybe if you had just tried harder.”

“But the Academy- I was-”

“Don’t bother, there’s no reason for you to try anymore. What would they want with someone like you?”

“I…”

“You’re nothing without me.”

~~~

Hilda stepped back to catch her breath between frantic swings at the training dummy. The sun had long since set, and all was dark. No one would be around, she thought, and she could catch up on the work she so desperately needed to do.

She needed to get stronger. Now. What happened with Tousen showed her that this strength was long overdue. She couldn’t fail again.

“Nothing without me.”

She gritted her teeth and swung at the dummy again, not hearing the footsteps creep up behind her.

“Hilda?” She could recognize that voice anywhere. Shuhei. “What are you doing out here so late?”

Hilda set down her sword, panting. The dummy was in splinters, and her hands had begun to crack and bleed from swinging ruthlessly at the dummy for hours.

“Hey, sorry. Just had to get some training done.” She did her best to force an easy smile, like what she always did.

“This late? Come on.” He clapped his hand to her shoulder. “You look terrible. How long have you been going at this?”

“Not that long,” she protested. “I just-”

He sighed. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself. I know it hurts, but Hilda, we need you.” A sentence he wished to say caught behind his teeth. He took a breath, re-focusing himself. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” she protested. “This isn’t anything more than I can handle.”

He lifted one of her worn hands. “This doesn’t look fine.” He sighed. “Look, I’ll leave you to finish whatever this is. But promise me you’ll get some rest.”

Hilda gave him a weary look, struggling to give him a smile. “I will. I promise.”

~~~

“So, you have decided to try again, have you?” Yoake no Hikari spoke, her voice even and her tone carefully controlled. 

The zanpaku-to spirit appeared before Hilda, bathed in the light of the dawn. Her golden hair flowed to each side, and her nine golden tails fanned out behind her. Perhaps to those who didn’t know her, she would have appeared as some kind of deity. Her face, as ever, was hidden by a fox mask. 

“I have no choice. I have to get stronger. I can’t keep wasting time.” Hilda’s expression was resolute. The open space, now her arena, was awash with pink from the sun’s slow rising. 

The spirit chuckled. “You are serious this time. Very well. Don’t stumble as you have before.”

The arena was suddenly bathed in impenetrable light. Hilda could barely see her own hands in front of her, let alone her surroundings. Yoake no Hikari, too, could no longer be seen.

“Find me, and strike me down if you can.” Her voice echoed all around Hilda, giving her no clue as to her location. “Cut through the light itself.”

Hilda stood, surrounded by life, blade in hand, and she took a deep breath. She needed a plan. She couldn’t see Yoake no Hikari at all, and she couldn’t tell where the sound of her voice was coming from. She had no way to locate her. Still, she could only be in so many places. If she tried every angle around her, surely she would have to find her eventually. She stepped forward and struck immediately ahead of her, only for her to be suddenly struck and thrown back. The fox spirit’s giggle echoed in the empty space. 

“Try again.”

~~~

Hilda struggled back onto her feet, her breathing heavy and her body battered from Yoake no Hikari’s repeated strikes. 

“Have you given up?” Again the spirit’s voice echoed. 

Hilda gritted her teeth and forced a smile. “I can’t. Not yet.” What was she doing wrong? She was sure she had tried every possible direction, and yet all she seemed to accomplish was swinging at empty air. How was she supposed to find her?

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to focus. There had to be another way. Already the arena felt different with her eyes closed. Without the over-stimulation of the blinding light, she could feel her mind become calm. She could feel something faint - behind her? It didn’t feel like Yoake no Hikari’s spiritual pressure - but still, it felt like the right way. She walked, carefully, one foot after the other. With each measured step, the feeling grew. She didn’t know what it was, but it was something. She approached, slowly, slowly, and then she heard it. 

The soft giggle of the fox, right in front of her. 

“I’ve found you.”

Her eyes snapped open and she swung her sword, finally, finally making contact with the spirit. 

“Do not think that you have won yet.” Still undetectable to Hilda’s eye, the fox spirit pounced forward, catching Hilda’s blade again. “Show me the strength you have found.” She clawed at Hilda’s open shoulder, and Hilda threw the arm back with a strike from her sword.

Hilda still couldn’t see her. But she could feel her. She could feel her strikes coming. And more importantly, she could feel where she was unguarded. 

“I won’t lose! I won’t lose! I can’t lose now!” Hilda’s blade flowed with the weight of her body, pushing the spirit back with each strike. And then, as the spirit reared up to pounce on her, she landed a hit right over her heart, knocking her back. 

The light began to fade. The arena returned into view. The sun was bright overhead. In front of her lay a defeated Yoake no Hikari, her signature fox mask marred with a gash across the face. 

Still, she could tell she was smiling. 

“You have proven yourself, at last. My power is yours to wield.”

[atmilliways]

On the 1st day of Dethmas this writer gives to thee...

Dec 13 - Your favorite holiday tradition... Dethklok style

My mom has these static cling decals in traditional greens and red, and every year I am in charge of using them to decorate the bathroom mirror. At some point ages ago I got bored with doing plain ol’ wreaths all the time. Sometimes I spell out Happy Holidays, sometimes I make green presents with red bows, sometimes it's a garland draped across the mirror, etc. I don't even live there anymore, and she still goes spare if I don't do it.

I just spent an hour trying to find an example picture and failed, so (Facebones voice) use your fuckin’ imaginatiooooooooooooooooon. ... Roll it!

(Oh yeah, and I’m doing a different pairing for each fic this challenge, no repeats. This one is Nategaar.)

~

We Two Kings

~

One trip back to Nathan’s parents’ place for Christmas. That’s all it takes to break Skwisgaar’s long tradition of not bothering to get presents for anyone he’s sleeping with. As soon as they get back, he marches into their manager’s office. 

“You gots to finds this things for me,” he says imperiously, dropping something flat and green on Offdensen’s desk. “Buts in blacks and silvers. Ands with the little red dots whats ams berries.”

Offdensen picks it up gingerly between thumb and forefinger as though he’s concerned it might be some sort of used condom. (He’s only been working for the band a few months now, but it wouldn’t be the first time.) “What, ah, is this exactly?”

“Ams ones of those things for ams puttings on a mirrors.” Skwisgaar fishes around in his back pocket and produces a somewhat bent polaroid, dropping it on the desk next to the green slip of plastic shaped like a cartoon holly leaf. In the picture, two different shades of green leaves make up a Christmas wreath on the mirror, dotted with red berries, all clearly captured by Rose Explosion using an old Sun 660 Autofocus. “Nathans makes this at his parents’ house. Different stuffs every years, never repeats hims-self.”

The photo is given due consideration as well. Offdensen glances up over the edge of his glasses. “And you want to. . . .”

“Wants to haves them for the new house we ams have built,” Skwisgaar confirms. He’s not particularly thinking about why all this feels so important or what that might mean about what was supposed to just be a casual fling. “For next years, whats he can does it at homes, too. Onlies gets more and haves a big fucks-off mirror ins the livings room for thems.”

“I’ll let the contractors know to add it to the plans.”

“Goods.” Skwisgaar starts to leave, but pauses at the door. “And don’t tells no ones. Ams a surprise.”

And the surprise goes pretty well. A few weeks before the next Christmas Skwisgaar takes the almost man-sized box, scrapes the shipping labels off, wraps it (poorly), and leaves it in front of Nathan’s bedroom door. He doesn’t leave a tag saying who it’s from and Nathan never asks, but the guy has to have an idea who it’s from. Who else would know to do this?

A few days later, the living room mirror in the newly christened Mordhaus is decorated with a giant silver skull made out of cartoon holly leaves. It’s layered over the black ones to give the illusions of lines and holes, with a glimmer of red berries sprinkled deep within the eye sockets. Up close it’s crude and a little weird, but from a distance it looks fucking cool. It gives Skwisgaar an unfamiliar warm feeling in his chest to know that he’d helped make that possible. 

The year after that, it’s a crow in flight with a silver fish in its beak, dripping with blood. The year after that, it’s a black and silver present with blood seeping through one corner and a red tag that reads “FROM SATAN.” Between that and the following year’s spider wearing a Santa hat, that’s about as Christmas-y as it ever gets. The rest of the guys think it’s cool but don’t pay enough attention to realize it’s their own bandmate who does it every year. 

Fast forward about a decade. 

It’s well after 4am, early in December. Skwisgaar is lounging on the couch nearest to the mirror, idly playing guitar while Nathan works with his static cling decals and, occasionally, a step stool. Every once in a while the hulking frontman paces around the room to examine his work from different angles and distances, scratch his head, and drink absentmindedly from his current beer bottle. It’s the same brand his dad keeps in the fridge back in Florida. (That one isn’t Skwisgaar’s doing, Nathan arranges for that all on his own every year.)

Just like the unacknowledged understanding that Skwisgaar gave him this new tradition to look forward to, there’s an unspoken rule that Skwisgaar doesn’t look until he’s done. Relationships, it turns out, are mostly a matter of paths trodden so deep into you that you follow them without having to think about it, and it feels good. Comfortable, even. 

Eventually Nathan thumps down on the couch next to him. Skwisgaar stops his absentminded fretting to put the guitar to one side and stretch, getting a few satisfying little pops out of his spine. From the looks of it out the windows, dawn isn’t all that long off. “All dones?”

“I think so,” Nathan grumbles. “I can’t get the fucking lines smooth enough, but whatever.”

“I’s shores it am fines, Misters Porflect,” he replies, and accepts the half finished beer that Nathan hands him. Their fingers brush, and Skwisgaar impulsively transfers the beer to his other hand so he can tangle them together. He’s not particularly thinking about what this impulse might mean about what was supposed to just be a casual fling over ten years ago now, but has endured into . . . something else. “Can I sees it now?”

Nathan seems surprisingly ambivalent; usually he demands that Skwisgaar look and give his opinion immediately upon completion, pressing and wringing to try and get constructive criticism even though they both know he doesn’t always take that the best. This time he just shrugs and says, “Sure, I guess you can, if you want,” with so much forced casualness it’s like he slathered it on with a trowel. Puzzled, Skwisgaar stands and tugs for the other man to come with him as he starts to turn—

His jaw drops as soon as he sees what Nathan has spent the last several hours working on with meticulous attention to detail and laser-like focus. 

“That. Ams mine face,” he says wonderingly, dropping Nathan’s hand and drifting in for a closer look. 

Despite the complaint a moment ago, there aren’t really lines. The entire piece is roughly as tall as he is and mostly silver overlaid with black, like looking at the negative of a photograph. It’s not particularly detailed, but Nathan has captured the contours of his face in black shapes. Eyes, nose, cheekbones, mouth, jaw . . .  even the hollow of his throat, all framed by dark waves of the hair that always hangs down in front of his shoulders. 

Nathan comes up behind him while he stares, taking the beer back before he has a chance to accidentally drop it, and Skwisgaar rocks back on the heels of his boots and leans against him. “I can’ts believes you dids this. . . .”

“Yeah, well.” He can feel Nathan shrug, and the rumbling in his chest when he speaks. “I didn’t want to do a stupid Christmas tree, and I couldn’t think of anything else.” More of that forced casualness. “It’s not really a big deal, I’m gonna do one of us each year for a while so those other assholes can’t bitch too much about being left out. But . . . yeah. I started with you. What do you think, any good?”

“Ja, goods,” Skwisgaar manages against the sudden big gay lump in his throat. 

He’d been facing away from Nathan the whole time he’d been working on this; it was done from memory. Nathan has memorized his face. And this is a guy who, rather than just imagining he’s singing in armor just to make an album more brutal, actually commissioned a full suit of armor to be made for himself on the grounds that just picturing stuff when you could actually have it was for pussies. 

Fuck. Holiday bullshit hadn’t ever gotten to him before, but he’d made that one, tiny no-gift exception and that had opened the floodgates, hadn’t it? This big lug with his once-a-year art projects has a piece of his heart . . . and now seems to be holding out a piece of his own. 

Skwisgaar turns. It feels like he’s moving in slow motion and his tongue is weighted and heavy with words he has no practice and probably no right to say out loud. So he doesn’t say anything, just winds his long fingers into Nathan’s hair and kisses him like there’s no fucking tomorrow. They’ve been together for so long, that’s all he really needs to do to tell the man I love you back, I love you too. 

It’s going to be a brutally amazing Christmas this year.

[cchilyoja]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   tagged by the always wonderful @foxcharmed tagging:    anyone that follows me, sees this on their dash & wants to do it :)

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO. Well, he is the main character of the show, but seeing as there’s only me & @legcndreportr that write character from the show, I’d say, the RP fandom for it is tiny, but I think a lot of people that watch dramas like the show & the characters.

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I mean, he’s played by Ji Chang Wook, I mean, obviously yes. Have you seen just how many fan JCW blogs there are on this site? Understandable. Honestly, and truly.  ]

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I’d say he’s very skilled & flawed. There are many things that he can do, many things that he is good at, but the slew of both traumatic and just plain shitty things that had happened to him over the early years of his childhood, combined with HUGE abandonment issues that he has never really dealt with. All of that can make certain mundane things a lot harder than any 007 stuff that he sometimes does. ]

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I think, even though I love the character, obv been RPing him for years. I hate that people don’t STAN the other characters as much, especially the other main female characters that are just as interesting, complex and worth loving. But alas that is the world we live in. ]

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO,he is the main story, if you know what I mean. But no, seriously, he is the main character. 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ Yeah, but tbh, I find it that in the show, the two main characters are equally sorted in the first place, Jung-hoo is nothing without Young-shin. There would be no development, no revelation about his life, childhood and interesting complex storytelling and showing without her.  ]

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. [ One would assume that I should put YES for this, buuuut, while HEALER is known to the criminal underbelly, police and those that would want or need to hire someone like him, the general public has no idea. Which is exactly what he wants, because attention isn’t really a useful thing in his line of work, or just the way he lives his life.  ]

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ Good when it comes to how skilful he is, but bad as a person. His character arc really goes a looong way from where he is in episode 1. Like the first thing we see is him playing a tennis VR game, complaining that he can’t pick the character he is playing against to have less clothes (that being a computer-generated character but still), which isn’t really all that interesting and for sure not someone I’d be all into writing. And also his lack of care when it comes to what he does, like the guy he was protecting also in ep 1. Ends up dead, and he’s annoyed bc the police think he killed him, the fact that he’s dead, he couldn’t care less. ]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —   I’ve been writing him for over two years, and it’s just no fun to just follow the canon. He has developed overtime on his own, and besides that, I just never really like any CANON fully. When it comes to the show, bc there are only 16 eps, and as with most dramas there is only one season. So I’ve taken the liberty to expand on the canon and to create Jung-hoo as I think he’d be, away from the scenes we can see him in.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —   For me personally, I really found it interesting that the mother that abandoned him, married someone else and had a whole new family, after his father died. Jung-hoo cares for her, meets with her, gives her money etc. He doesn’t hate or resent her, I think that shows a lot of compassion but also emotional intelligence. He has this me vs the world outlook, way of life, mentally, however you want to call it, but is in desperate need for someone to SEE him. Like acknowledge his existence, to stay, to love him. He is incredibly skilled & capable, everything you’ve seen 007 do, he does it better. Also I’ve made sure to include diverse verses so there is a way to explore pretty much anything under the sun that you could think of.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —  I think he can’t really move past the whole I hate everyone & I need someone. So he goes back and forth, it is difficult to create a meaningful connection. I’ve been lucky to do that but that’s also bc I’ve written with some people here for years. 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   I had taken a few years break from RP, which used to be like one of my main interests, writing in general. And then I was getting into just watching Kdramas, watched HEALER, and I was instantly like I HAVE TO WRITE HIM, and never looked back really. 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   Auditory stimuli, be it music or just sounds. For example, when I write I tend to use programs or websites where you can put different sounds in the background like thunder, rain, wind, chatter etc. Watching yt clips, seeing people on my dash tbh, like people that I follow also inspire me bc they make me go I WANNA WRITE WITH ALL OF THEM.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ I think I tend to have all of these feelings, sometimes I’m like, yeah, this is Jung-hoo, this is exactly what I wanted, sometimes I’m like who am I writing? But I just focus more on me enjoying writing him, than thinking if people think I write him as they think I should.]

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [I have a bunch of headcanons about like the smallest of things, like the fact that I don’t think he likes wearing socks is one of them, but,  I don’t write them or post them on here. I’m not sure why, I guess I prefer to sort of just sprinkle them in the threads??? ]

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO [ Kinda. I also write fanfiction & I had started this original one with sort of Jung-hoo in mind but not really him. I realized I really like writing starters, I think that’s probably like an unpopular opinion or way of thinking but I really enjoy starting the thread, and I kinda sometimes think starters are like drabbles, I’m not making sense. ]

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [ Depends on my mental state. Like sometimes 100% and then other times it’s like what am I even doing?? ]

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. [ I enjoy how I write, if that makes sense. I’d like to think that I can switch it up now and again, keep it fresh, I def know that I’ve evolved over the course of the years I’ve been RPing ]

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   Sure. I’m fine with that. I just think that the INTERNET does not know how to compute that, or people on the internet. It’s either, you can do no wrong or you should die a horrible death. It’s like either STAN or HATE. And it’s also somehow part of the rp community here on Tumblr. Where there’s just either fake praise or just unnecessary hate. And then there is a bit in the middle where like you can talk and exchange ideas and thoughts. But it is not the main focus by any means. If anyone wants to tell me to change something, or to do something diff, sure, let me hear you out, you might inspire me to improve. But that rarely happens. 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — Of course, I think a lot of people are like this. Talking about my character gives me muse for the character. Like we could be talking how he’d eat a salad and I’d be like, okay now I have to write a novella about this other thing I’m inspired about. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  That’s weird to me just bc I feel like when I read someones headcanon, this is how they, and them uniquely see the character, so I can’t really disagree with that, I can have an opinion for sure. But that’s like someone being I like this band, and you say, no you don’t, it just doesn’t make sense to me.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  Same with the previous one. Like I often find blogs where they are writing a character that I either love from a show, move, book whatever, or it’s a canon type character that I find really interesting, like the idea behind it, but then I read their writing and then I go, aaaah okay nooo, no NO. And it’s never personal, it’s like, we ain’t gonna mesh, which is fine. And if someone is like that with my writing, fully understandable, just don’t be a dick about it, and we’ll be cool.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  Couldn’t really give less of a shit really. RP to me is this little bubble where I am this fictional person that can do and try everything. It is in no way connected to any other aspect of actual reality or my life. The only connection is if I have to take a hiatus or smth, but like even if I write OOC things, it’s about IC stuff. I have other social medial for real life, this is just my RP bubble. So if someone is wasting their time hating a fictional character, they have bigger fish to fry. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —   Sure, English isn't my first language so mistakes happen. If I see someone make a mistake and the write with me, I just change it when I reply to them, but I don’t point it out bc you never know, someone people could be okay cool thanks, and someone else could really feel down on themselves, which would be bad, and I wouldn’t want that to happen.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  —  I’d like to think so, especially that I’m easy to approach and talk to. I don’t take many things seriously, not just on here but like in life. So I’m always open to any idea anyone might have. I’ve been lucky with the people that I’ve been following & those that have followed me, a huge percentage is just really dope people, nice to read their writing, nice to talk to, great to write with. And I hope that it stays that way, so we can also have this as some kind of mental break from life :) 

[velveetacrackncheese]

Hey, Rad... Alex... Alexlememe? I know that's the name you used to go by and I know you've kinda disconnected yourself from Viv's fanbase after ZP ended, and I remember your memes and such but I kinda just wanted to get your take on the Hazbin drama since you reblogged the headcanon blog's post on the subject. More or less regarding the issue of her being uncharitable to fans and non-fans alike, plus that one callout post on twitter?

So this is weird. I wasn’t expecting to get asks on the subject since like you said, I’ve generally been disconnected from the fanbase aside from the few reblogs here and there retaining to Hazbin and its more recent developments. But yeah I guess I could give my take on this since I mean.. old fans still follow me. Idk why, but they do!So, really. In regards to that callout post (which is now deleted) I really, really don’t care that much. For one thing, Initially I did because I really hated to see someone be slandered so viciously with inaccurate and uncharitable attacks, but I kinda just stopped because even when I linked the addresses from both Viv, and the Ken dude regarding all the drama mentioned, it was either ignored and resulting in me being called a “pedo sympathizer” or “It wasn’t even an apologyyyyy weh” and like, whatever. I stopped giving a shit.

Terms of the traced animation thing... Lol, ok. I mean homages do exist, and her animation thingy was based on a meme so whatevs.

Anyways,I knew from the very start that the whole “tracing” and “stealing designs” stuff was nonsense since there was an entire like, tumblr drama arc on the issue, and albeit Viv’s post is gone, there’s evidence of legal contracts regarding Jiji and that whole nonsense that was years ago. In regards to her drawing pictures of Blaire White and Shoe… Eh. I mean, yeah, fuck em, but she’s made it clear that she doesn’t support those views anymore, and she wasn’t even really aware of the other things they’d done at that point, and I see no real reason not to believe her because what does lying about that gain her? Yeah her comment on the “blackface” thing if you wanna call it that was dumb as shit, but considering 2016 was a rough year for her in terms of trying to find where she fell in the political sphere, I can relate because I was in the same boat. A lot of sjw cringe comps, shaming feminists, and purposely misgendering transpeople… Not a good time for me either! Course I’ve changed. I went from being a reactionary alt-centrist to an anarchist so. Whether that’s an improvement is up to you.

As for the whole pedo/zoo shit, I really don’t see it. I mean like, look, obviously porn art portraying people fucking feral animals is disgusting right. Not saying it isn’t problematic or anything, but to be fair, she did draw this shit like 8 years ago. I’ve seen worse from even more well-established artists and I don’t see people trying to cancel them? Also, the art was suggestive for one thing and not necessarily 100% porn. I mean it’s still creepy and gross, and I’d understand scolding them if they continued to do so but a lot worse, but I haven’t seen anything like that from Viv past those 2 drawings. As for the pedo shit… The relationship between a 17 year old and a 19 year old is… hardly creepy and reminiscent of pedo shit. So yeah no fuck that. Now with the drawing of Mirage and Kestrel and the tag that said something jokingly like “Mirage and her pedo tendencies” or whatever… Yeah idk, I can’t defend that lmfao. Again, Viv said she disapproves of those drawings and doesn’t care to think about them, but that one piece of artwork definitely had some baggage to it that made me feel uncomfortable after reading the tags.Only issue I took in terms of her addressing that, is that she was very adamant about it being an inside joke… Which if that’s true, you must’ve had some fucked up friends like damn.

I would also like to state that cub art is legitimately disgusting and I am of the belief that it can cause harm depending on the context since I assume the consumption of cub art can reinforce the urge for pedophiles to act on their desires instead of finding healthy coping mechanisms for it through therapy. There have been stories from younger users on the internet that older people have tried to groom them and have the notion of pedos preying on them be normalized by sending them art depicting kids in sexual acts with adults. Of course in isolation cub art isn’t as harmful as the actual act of raping a child, and I would argue that people have their priorities kind of messed up since the illustration being acknowledged should be part of combating pedophiles preying on children. However, people, typically twitter wokescolds tend to focus on the art solely and I don’t know why. There’s a lot of MAPS trying to find their way into LGBT spaces and it’s fucking gross.

Now with Hazbin itself… It’s meh. Initially I watched it with rose-tinted glasses and loved it. After watching it for like… the 3rd, 4th, 5th time? It’s alright. I don’t hate it, but it’s far from perfect. Now ofc I know it’s a pilot but a very lengthy pilot I’ll say. My biggest gripe with the pilot is that the editing is really fucking weird. Like the editing where Angel tells Alastor “I can suck yah dick!” and the scene that followed was really off. It seemed like too many cuts were made in that instance and seemed very cluttered. It also feels that way during Charlie singing “Inside Every Demon is a Rainbow” and how many little animated bits were like almost wiped off the screen by how fast it came by, and ntm there was just so much happening all at once on screen as well. I had to pause at points just to process everything that was happening. The palette is also very, very, verrrry red. There’s so much red going on and like… I get it, it’s in hell. But lemme rest my eyes on something else besides red, please. The palette they use needs to be better diversified, and the same goes for the characters too. Every character seems to have red on them. Whenever Baxter shows up later he’s gonna look really out of place. Some of the jokes were ok, and others seemed non-clever. I didn’t think Angel’s joke about sucking Al’s dick was funny. I did like the joke with Pentious and Angel though. “SON??” Some of it could’ve been written better too.

Regarding the drama with the show itself… Personally I don’t get it. Like, I don’t feel as if Angel is homophobic as a character since his queerness isn’t at the face of the jokes he makes? He just happens to be sex worker which… sex workers are fine? Support sex workers y’all, seriously. There’s also nothing intrinsically wrong with being sexually active either? As long as it’s within reason and you’re being trustworthy.The issue lies in the fact that people viewed the things I just mentioned as negative, and associate it with gay people as said negatively portrayed thing to push the sentiment of “Gay man do sex a lot therefore the gays bad” or that sort of thing. Also there’s a bit where it shows there’s more emotional depth to him and I’m hoping they’ll expand on that later. Honestly though, the criticisms in regards to that have been pretty uncharitable. Same with the criticisms for Vaggie. Apparently Vaggie is racist because… she’s loud and angry? Again, this is a case where people assume those traits are negative, and because it’s assumed to be negative, the negatively portrayed thing pushes the sentiment of “Being a loud fiery woman made, and latina women are that, therefore latina women bad” or some shit.  There are stereotypes that are bad no matter what the context is like sambo-esque caricatures of black people. Then there are tropes that are applied to certain demographics that have the capability to be written well into characters without it being offensive or disrespectful. Vaggie is literally angry because she’s protective of her gf. Like. C’mon.

So, I think that settles what I think about that? It honestly seems like superficial shit to me tbh, and I’m saying this as an sjw-y beta cuck anarchist.

The only REAL gripe I have, is with what the mod from @zpheadcanons posted. Because I know this is probably true as much as it hurts me to say it. Faust def has a history of being pretty petty and bully-like to people she deems undesirable, and Viv harbors it by not criticizing it, and if anyone else within their friend group does it then you’re scolded vehemently and treated like garbage. Her attitude also stretches to harboring an audience full of white knights that I personally don’t approve of.

There’s also this

Faust has hurt distant people I personally know and… yeah. Maybe I’m biased but I can’t vibe with that. Sorry. If you don’t make an effort to criticize abusive behavior within your own friend circles then that makes you just as bad, because then you’re just a bystander to things you could have prevented.

This isn’t to say Viv herself hasn’t dealt with bad faith actors, or people who had the intention to hurt her, or very uncharitable criticism. Particularly from the badwebcomics forums which is honestly 4chan like in how they operate. It’s vicious as hell, and a lot of their criticisms boil down to insults and personal attacks, which serve to be nonconstructive. That’s not to say Viv has been kind to even the more charitable criticism though. I know because when I happened to send an ask to the zoophobia criticism blog (where did it go???) regarding something relatively minor and superficial, she blocked me from her blog. I’m still blocked lmfao. I’m not blocked on twitter though! (not yet anyways). Faust has me blocked there though, and I have no idea why. She’s had me blocked for years even though I haven’t spoken out against her till recently. So, there’s that.

As for her apology itself, I feel like it was fine. I think it could’ve been worded better? The take I disagree with in terms of that is like… If I made a mistake in the past, and I make it clear that I don’t care for what I did, I don’t feel as if me explaining why I felt compelled to do certain things negate me from still not caring for my past actions? That’s just me providing context. That’s a really weird take, but I guess that could be viewed as an excuse idk. Personally I think people are holding the bar super high to a state of irrationality.

*sigh* So yeah there’s that. I miss the old days where honestly I could be ignorant about this, but at the same time I look at my old obsessive posts and I kinda just… cringe. I was such an irrational stan I almost hate myself for it. Fuck XD

Edit: I’d also like to point out that I’m not saying Viv or Faust are totally awful or totally good people, and I know they’re capable of being better. It’s a matter of whether or not they wanna be better.

[apocalyvse]

11/11/11

I was tagged by @water-writings <3

1. Do you write fanfictions or original stories and did you ever write fanfiction?

I write (and always have written) both; I actually started writing fanfiction when I was like 10 years old, before I even knew what fanfiction was, and then later discovered that it was a whole thing. For quite a few years now fanfic has been my main thing, but I’ve got a few original things that I’m knuckling down on this year and really enjoying, so we’ll see.

2. Did you ever write your stories in the middle of class instead of paying attention?

Not in the middle of class really, but I did write like half a harry potter au fic sort of thing based off of some rp characters at the end of my year 11/12 exams. The exams were like 3 hours long each, and like, I’m not smart but I am pretty quick at theory stuff so I’d have 1.5-2 hours per exam to fill, and I would never use the note paper for notes. So I’d fold my note paper into 8ths and write reeeeeally really small and fill it all up during my extra exam time. (I still have the sheets of paper if anyone wants to see xD)

3. How many notebooks do you have filled with your writing?

Since somewhere in 2015, I have filled 25 notebooks; not including anything I wrote straight out on a computer, on my phone, on random pieces of paper, or in other notebooks that aren’t included in my numbering system, which I have lmao.

4. What’s your favorite way to write? Notebook, Word Doc, Google Docs?

By hand in notebooks. I used to write in a word doc, and I still use word to type up into and edit it, but I find writing by hand really pushes my word counts up, and forces me to do an initial edit when I type it up, especially with fanfic because I don’t draft fanfic.

5. Do you write by yourself or do you need people writing with you?

I’ve always written alone - most of my friends don’t even know that I write, or don’t write anymore themselves, so it’s just me and myself over here. I was in a writing club at school for a while, and we tried to do a couple projects together, but the group got off course way too easily and nothing really got done, so I prefer to be alone with something I’m really passionate about finishing.

6. Have you ever cowritten with someone?

When I was liiiiiike 12, my friend and I co-wrote a lot of Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic lmao, which to this day is one of my favourite writing memories. And I co-wrote an entire 50k ‘novel’ with my friend during middle school, which was actually pretty good fun - we traded off chapters and worked together on plot and worldbuilding and actually finished the whole thing. It was horrible (I can’t look at it anymore it’s so cringey), but a good experience to have. I’ve co-written with a few friends online too, with mixed results - nothing that’s ever really gone anywhere though.

7. Who do you bounce ideas off of?

No one lmao. I just throw them into the story and see if they work.

8. Have you ever taken an experience from your life and written it into a story?

Definitely! The most obvious example would probably be the series of short stories I’ve written and posted on this horse racing game I play, Flying For Home, which are sometimes drawn directly from stuff that happens around my workplace in real life, seeing as I work with racehorses in a big stable (the premise of the short stories lmao). 

Another example I can think of is, funnily enough, my other horse-related project; a novel called Vertigo, for which I have drawn on a lot of my own personal history and people that I’ve met in my life and thrown it into the mixing pot. It’s a bit of a personal daydream tbh xD Other than those, there’s a little bit of myself in everything I write, I think, though it’s hard to pick out sometimes.

9. Favorite type of music to listen to while you write.

I usually don’t let myself listen to music when I write, but if I do, it’ll be the playlist I inevitably have for the story, turned down very quiet so that it fades into the background - usually just pop and alternative/indie sort of stuff.

10. Have you ever had anyone give you “advice” that hurt you and prevented you from writing for a while?

I don’t think I’ve ever had anything that stopped me from writing, and I’ve certainly never had criticism from outsiders/strangers or whatever (generally people just ignore me). But I do keep my mum at a distance from my writing, as she tends to just push and push me to ‘publish something already’ and gives off the mentality of ‘it’s not worth wasting your time on if it won’t make you money’. She uh...doesn’t know that I have published over 100k of fanfic this year. Lol. She’s only trying to be supportive, in her own way, and I appreciate it, but I just don’t mention it to her very often, because she’s never really ready to listen to my point of view on it.

11. Have you ever had fans of your writing pester to write a certain way?

I don’t have fans xD

And from @starsandstormyseas because you asked good questions and I Want To...

1. Have you ever had an idea that sounded really great in your head, but when you started writing it, came out terrible for whatever reason?

Yesssss, Flicker has gone through 9 versions in 2 years because every time I start it, it just goes very quickly in directions that I don’t want it to and it never feels right. This version I’m working on now is the first time I’ve really liked all the ways I could go with it so hopefully we’re past book 2 blues and back on track.

2. What’s your favorite part in writing a story? The relationships (or shipping), the plot, the worldbuilding, something else?

The like, ‘main’ scenes, the big hitters. The culmination of all the middle bits into that one main plot point. And relationships too, though not romantic persay - I just really enjoy the scenes where two characters will bounce off of each other for like 7 pages of dialogue, whether its enemies, or friends, or romantic.

3. And weird habits you do when writing, or to keep yourself writing?

I write by hand mostly, and I have my own system to mark as I’m going sentences I don’t like, or words that don’t really fit but I couldn’t think of the right one, or facts I’ve made up on the fly that need to be googled. If I just mark down stuff that I want to change later as I go, I find that I set myself free in a way, and I can just move on without getting stuck on a google spiral (also I don’t forget to fix my plot holes later).

4. Do you keep the internet on or off when you write?

On, though it’s very distracting when I’m trying to write straight on my laptop lmao

5. What books, authors, fics, or any media, have heavily influenced your writing style?

I spent a lot of my childhood reading Enid Blyton and authors like her; older books, mostly my mum’s books from when she was a child, and things from my hometown’s very, very outdated library. So they had a huge impact on the way I learnt to write (they also had an impact on the way I talk too, but that’s another story). More recently, the whole tone and way that fanfic in general is written has really influenced me, and I’d like to think I’ve adopted it and made it my own in a good way.

6. What time is the best time to write? Day, night? Morning, evening?

Evening/night; some days, I cannot focus until like 8pm when I go to bed. And then I lose sleep because I’m writing but y’know. For editing/typing up, that’s a late afternoon kind of job.

7. Is there anyone IRL that you let read your work? 

I have a group of friends that I’ve known for 8 years now that are allowed to read my work. We used to rp together and all used to write and so we all know how bad we were back in the day xD. One girl from that group has been my friend since kindergarten, so she has always had me shoving handfuls of words in her face. There’s been a few other friends that have read some of my stuff, but not all of it, and the older I get, the less I share.

8. How do you handle negative or unhelpful reviews or critique? Does it impact the way you write?

I’ve never had any negative response, so I don’t know. The silence when you’re 4 chapters deep and no one has reviewed is deafening though.

9. Do you respond to every comment/reply you get? If not, which ones get your attention and why?

I only respond to the long/sincere ones, because I feel like they deserve some encouragement in return for taking the time to really let me know what they thought.

10. Ever gotten weird, unsolicited messages asking to join an RP group or some such because this person apparently read your writing (but probably didn’t)?

Hah. Once or twice.

11. What is your favorite platform to post your writing, talk about writing, or anything like that? 

My favourite place to post and to read by far is AO3 - but I find the best platform to get feedback on is FF.net. My favourite place to talk about writing is over here on tumblr.

MY QUESTIONS

How do you get yourself to focus on writing?

What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written?

Tell me about your current WIP.

Do you write for yourself or for an audience?

Do you share your writing with anyone you know in real life?

What’s the nicest comment/review you’ve ever gotten?

What platform do you prefer to post your work on?

Do you plot or pants?

What have you learnt while writing your stories?

Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?

Can you give a spoiler for your WIP?

Tagging (from writer peeps) @converginglives, @pen-in-hand (if you want another one I think mel got you xD), @aethryos, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @siriusguided, @insertpenname-here, @indecentpause, @writing-at-dusk @sillyliterature @anoddconstellationofthoughts @writingtomorrow

[sallykie]

On the HTTYD fandom, the third movie, mixed reactions...

As you may have noticed from posts I've reblogged, I was one of the people who had some... issues with the third HTTYD movie. I'm not terribly upset; there are aspects of THW that I DID enjoy, and besides, I am entirely allowed to personally ignore the bits I didn't like, and instead focus on the parts of the franchise that do bring me genuine enjoyment -- which absolutely do still exist.

I imagine I'm probably going to end up reblogging some more analyses by other people who found similar issues with the movie, although I can't imagine spending a LOT of time and energy on that in the long run (I'm not even that active in the fandom/tumblr anymore). If I reblog/post any more of them, I will keep tagging those posts as "httyd3 criticism", which I encourage people to block if they want to focus on the feel-good hype (or feel-sad hype, or feel-conflicted hype...) of the new movie; I'm not trying to be condescending by saying this. I am somewhat invested in the httyd fandom (or at least the parts I'm familiar with) staying a relatively low-drama fanbase, and of course I am hoping for a good fandom experience for my fellow fans AND myself.

(Yes, I know drama-free, unproblematic fandoms don't really exist, but there should still be steps we can take to minimize some of the fandom drama.)

I do think those of us who had issues with some parts of the movie should be able to have discussions about that. It should also be possible for the fans who don't want to dedicate their fandom activity time to negativity, to not have to engage with negativity.

Behaviours like specifically seeking out, and leaving negative comments, on other people's positive hype posts (or sad emotional hype posts or whatever, you get the point) is bad manners, in poor taste, and I hope people will avoid doing that. On the other hand, I do not want the fanbase to develop some kind of a weird "us versus them" division where on THIS side you're only allowed to complain, and on THIS side you're only allowed to hype -- I don't think this kind of a hard either-or division is a realistic perception of too many a fan's actual views of the source material, and I have definitely seen such divisions turn into... not the most objective... echo chambers, before. So, uh, let's not do that, please?

I want to make it clear that while I've written some possibly exaggerated comments and tag rants about the way I ended up perceiving some of the themes and developments in THW, I'm aware that it's not the only way to perceive the themes in the movie, or even neccessarily what was intended by the creators. Rather, me pointing out the interpretation is a commentary on the fact that there appear to be apparent (perhaps unintended?) ways to interpret things, which I unfortunately found prominent enough to get in the way of enjoyment.

Besides, someone else perceiving themes similarly to me could also NOT see it as a bad thing that a story would touch on those themes. "This story didn't go how I wanted" or "these themes were not what I needed in my life and my situation" are not automatically synonymous with "this story is bad". The same theme viewed from a different angle could evoke an entirely different audience reaction. Let's not turn "this is why this didn't work for me" into "this isn't allowed to work for anyone".

You know how sometimes you read/hear someone else talking about a story you're also familiar with, and you end up thinking they must have encountered some entirely different, alien, alternate reality version of it, because as far as you can tell, there's just no way anyone should be able to read/watch the same thing you did, and sincerely draw such blatantly different conclusions about what happened in it, how things were or weren't portrayed, what the characters were like, which parts were the most important, what was the main point...

...yeah, I'm not gonna go with the automatic assumption that what everyone else gets out of some specific piece of fiction is the same thing I get out of that piece of fiction. Sometimes the urge to go "well, you're just WRONG" is pretty strong. I do think people blatantly misinterpreting things IS a thing that happens. But at the same time, you gotta remember, fiction kinda... only gets finalised inside every reader/viewer's head. Sometimes it gets finalised several times in different ways in the SAME reader/viewer's head, when they revisit something later with different life experiences. The version of a story I've read/watched, that I have in my mind, is not gonna be exactly the same as the version someone else received by reading/watching the same source material. While actual misinterpretations exist, to SOME extent, there will be differing perceptions where it's impossible to rule one as "correct" and the other as "incorrect".

[the-hinata-project]

How do you set up a week like this? I mean, the part where you actually manage to get people involved with it?

That’s an interesting question! I assume you mean getting people to participate when the event actually runs?

The main things you need, regardless of how many followers you have: posts that advertise and explain your event, and tagging those posts appropriately!

Some bonus things: something eye-catching about those posts (fanart/sprites and banners for the event), probably multiple posts about the event to keep people thinking about it, and getting help from friends or outside sources willing to plug in and promo your event! Your own followers may help, so never disregard your own blog!

The success of the event depends on: The subject of the event (How popular is the ship/character/series?) and how much effort you put in (Does it look like you actually care about the event? Does it look like you will respect the participants and their fanworks? Do you seem reliable enough to handle the event? Are you approachable? How do you handle criticism and hecklers? Did you organize it well?)

If you want details, I can only give you my own experience with events. (It’s under the cut because, well, I can’t be concise...)

I’ve only ever run one ship week before, and that was completely on my own at the time. I say “on my own,” but I actually did have support, namely my friends and mutual followers on my main account, spreading the word whether they were actually interested in participating in the event, or not! I am very thankful to them for putting up with it XD

There’s also tagging posts appropriately by the characters/ships involved in the event (in this case, Hajime and Izuru). And I really have to hope that the post shows up in the tags. I keep making sure after the post is created that the post shows up where it is supposed to (in other words, don’t put external links in your posts whatsoever! Not even links to polls). Also, you want to make sure to post it at a time you know people are active. To me, it seemed like around 10AM or 3PM PST will work.

People like me actually do surf Tumblr through the tags, so when they are interested in the event (as I’m sure they must be at least somewhat if they are surfing through the main character tags), they would hopefully reblog the post and their followers may be interested and reblog from them, and the cycle will hopefully continue. Reblogs are so important. Likes... don’t tell me much except that you are interested? And that’s a maybe as well.

A lot of it has to do with whether people are interested in what the event is about. Hajime/Izuru is a rather popular character who people love, so not to sound like as if I’m bragging or anything, but I do expect this event to gain traction based on that.

However, even less liked character/pairings can get some traction! I know for my ship week, I put a lot of effort into making sure people knew about the event. I actually went over what is expected, lol. I made polls to get as may people involved as possible and check how many would be interested in participating. I made quite a lot of pixel art leading up to the event, as well, and with each post, it’s another chance someone new will see it and be interested in the event.

And Kamu//Koma Week, for example, would occasionally get fanart made by their friends (mostly pixel art) and answer asks and tag these in the main tags (their ship tag mostly, and the character tags too maybe). They also had some polls made to get people involved- I mean it is both more advertising and it helps get people engaged and hyped about the event.

Both me and that mod relied on the tag system and our own followers. If you do own a blog that has a lot of followers, definitely use it! And if not,it’s very much possible to get attention. Like for me, I don’t have an insane amount of followers, and I have seen people who don’t have many followers have very successful events. Still, whatever followers you have, make sure to reblog your posts on your own blog!

Another thing you can do is respectfully ask for people who do have a lot of followers (like ask blogs, for example) to help you make your event known. If they don’t get to your ask, don’t be pushy with it, please ^^;

For this event, I could rely a lot on the tag system, my mutuals were helping spread the word, and I was able to get @/ask-hinapape to help! (Let’s say we had connections XD) I’ve seen people ask ask blogs and confession blogs for promos before, as well!

Mod Kusamochi, Mod Ahoge, and I each made something to promote the event! I drew the icon, Mod Kusamochi made the header (Also was put on our submission guidelines post) and Mod Ahoge made the “Uncle Hinata” poster on our Mods Intro post! To attract people to your event, having an attractive post is going to help you. Make sure it is something that centers on what your event is about, of course, but also try to make it pretty! Using a lot of colors might help, or maybe it is a moving gif.

It is not that fanart is necessary, either! You can use sprites or official art and just edit it. I mean, for the ship week I ran, I took already-made transparents or transparented stuff on my own and added a background that was actually just the background of other official art, but zoomed in or replicated into a pattern. You can also ask friends to help you out if you’re not that great with making fanart/sprite edits! And if you claim to have no friends, you can always request/commission someone else to help!

Having organization in an event is going to help as well! Make sure you give people time to think about the event you’re planning  so that they can organize themselves. A week is very short notice, a month is better, but might not be ideal enough for people to time themselves. When the event occurs is also going to affect how many people can participate. Make sure when you plan it, people have the time to submit something.

You want to have some rules, as well. First, you have to figure out just how is it that people are submitting their entries. For example, most events have you use specific tags. As a mod, you go to those tags and reblog them to the event’s blog. You can also have people submit their entries to the blog, and you tag or mention who created the submission.

It’s also great to have backups! Make yourself available and approachable in case something goes wrong. Do they need more time? Did you miss their entry? Did they accidentally break a rule?

If you need help creating rules, then try looking up other ship weeks for guidance on how they had set up their guidelines!

You also do not want too many restrictions, especially not something controversial, like “none of these ships are allowed”, or “none of that character”, or “these headcanons are not allowed”. Give people more freedom, and you’ll find you run into less problems. It may even be that no one was planning to draw/write something about the things you restricted them on, but because you restricted it, now they demand you let them. Or, if you had perceived there would be a problem, it might just be that there never would have been one to begin with. Don’t create drama, you’re only going to hurt the event and yourself.

And on the rare occasion, you may come across hecklers. The first time, you might respond. Try to not confront them even if they are rude- remain calm. It may just be that what you think is an insult to the event is just curiosity worded a bit strongly. They don’t like the ship? Explain that all participants are going to use a specific tag or tags they can block, or that they will all be tagged with the ship name, so they may as well block that. Same goes to specific characters. They don’t like how you run the event? Ask them what they wanted changed, or tell them that if they want to create their own event, they can. If they or others keep filling up your inbox- ignore it. It hurts, but don’t give in to the bait. There’s an event you are running with people that actually care for the subject- you focus on that. Don’t bring all the negativity hecklers want to pollute the event with. They want people to feel bad about participating in the event. You stay strong, and the participants will too.

Be open, be willing to make changes, be willing to stand up for yourself when needed, and most importantly, show that you actually care. Make sure that it is known that you find the event important enough to have created it and will treat it with the care and effort necessary.

You can feel the difference between someone that gave their event a lot of thought, and someone that didn’t plan ahead as much as they could have. And I’m not pointing fingers at any particular event- I’ve seen a few events that were not planned that well. But for the most part, I’ve seen a lot of mods who created events they genuinely cared for.

To me, a successful event is not measured how many people participated. A successful event is one where those that participated and the mod(s) feel genuine pride at what has been created for the event. If the goal was to expand a ship, then even one fanwork is more than what it had once been. If the goal is to show more appreciation for something, then even if only a few people actually participated, you now know who it is that shared your love for the subject. For me, I found that the most valuable knowledge- knowing you are not alone in your love for that subject.

All-in-all, if you want to create an event, whether it is a ship week, a secret exchange, or an appreciation week for a character/series/etc, just make sure that you and the participants are able to have fun and that you are able to be heard by the people who’d like to participate.

This turned out to be... quite the lecture, lol. Sorry XD I hope this was informative though!

-Mod WORLD DESTROYER

[thenightling]

Let the Sandom Bitch!

I tried to ignore it but it has become abundantly clear that someone here on Tumblr is attempting to discourage me (and possibly others) from “bad mouthing” The Dreaming comics... again... 

Doing things like tagging Neil Gaiman (as if you are tattling on us for doing something wrong) will not silence the opinion.  You’re allowed to disagree with us.  You’re allowed to defend what you like, but trying to shame us into silence is immature.  

None of us are deliberately hurting anyone by being critical of The Dreaming comics.  We are not trying to hurt or offend anyone.  We just like what we like and dislike what we dislike.  

We’re allowed to complain.  We’re allowed to worry about what’s to come with DC and Vertigo.  We’re allowed to be cynical.  We’re fans.  We’re allowed to... fandom. (Yes, I turned it into a verb.)  For us, this is a form of petty relaxation and distraction so we don’t have to focus on the more serious problems that life and society throws at us.  We focus on the little things to give a relief from the big things.  Sometimes you need that.  

Yes, I worry about offending Neil Gaiman. He’s a brilliant and kind man. If you upset someone like him you’re going to feel pretty awful.  But I also know he did not write The Dreaming.  There’s no real reason he should be offended by our bitching.  I’m just a little neurotic.  And I know it’s been a rough week for all comic book fans (Neil Gaiman included) with the passing of Steve Ditko.  

Again, Neil Gaiman did not write The Dreaming.  

I have never deliberately insulted him.  I probably never will insult him.  I like and respect Neil Gaiman.  And I have a right to my opinion about the now defunct The Dreaming spin-off.  I am allowed to love Sandman but hate The Dreaming.  I am fairly certain Neil Gaiman knows where many of us stand in regard to The Dreaming.  I am not alone. 

  And we are not ashamed.

  @deathlyendless @endlessemptynight @treebrooke79 @fortmarmorus @sorry-for-the-chocolate  

 I may read something Neil Gaiman wrote that I don’t care all that much for and I’ll be honest about it when that happens.  (cough) Gilbert’s scene in The Wake. (cough).  But that’s neither here nor there, since I love most of Sandman very deeply. 

Tagging Neil Gaiman during a not-very-positive conversation about The Dreaming comics is not going to suddenly make us like it or make us start talking positively about The Dreaming.  It’s not going to humiliate us into silence.  We are nerds!  We talk about the things we love and we talk about the things we don’t like.  

We love Sandman (Special note: Fortmarmorus specifically loves Cain and Abel as opposed to Sandman itself.)  We love Sandman (and the horror hosts) and nothing is going to change that.

Being a fan of something does not obligate you to like every aspect of the thing.  Think of it like being a fan of a musician.  Surely there are a few songs you skip. 

And if you happen to like The Dreaming spin-off that’s okay.   You’re allowed that opinion.  No one will hold it against you.  Some of us might not share that opinion and be very vocal about our own opions but that doesn’t mean we’ll mistreat you for it, we won’t bash you as a person or make judgements about you as a human being over it.  It’s no different than having a different preference in ice cream.  You’re allowed to prefer strawberry over chocolate.  

However, though we bear no grudge against those who do like The Dreaming and have never insulted those that do like it, there are certain people who seem resentful of negative commentary about The Dreaming.  Please, don’t take it personally.  Let us bitch.  We are allowed our opinions.     

You act as if I single-handedly caused The Dreaming to become non-canon.  I’m glad it’s no longer canon but I’m not the one who did that. I’m just a fan.  I don’t have that kind of power.

If I had that kind of power Morpheus would be emotionally healing and alive in the comics along with Daniel (because I’m a sucker for a happy ending), Bruce Timm and Paul Dini would be releasing an animated film of Preludes and Nocturnes from DC animation (of the same quality as Justice League: Dark), The Sandman TV series would be in its third season on Netflix, the people who made the animated series Tales from the Crypt Keeper would be making an animated House of Mystery series for the DC Universe streaming service (with Maurice LaMarche doing his best Vincent Price impersonation for Cain’s voice or Trevor Devall) and a live action Preludes and Nocturnes would be in theatres this summer, directed by Guillermo del Toro, starring Doug Jones and scored by Danny Elfman.  

Hell, there would be a Broadway musical adaptation of Preludes and Nocturnes scored by Frank Wildhorn!  That’s what I’d do with sudden God-like Sandman related powers.  I’d release a freakin’ musical.  Why?  Because I know I’m slightly eccentric and would play the album over and over and over again.  

Again, I’m just a fan.  I don’t have that kind of power.  I, and those of similar opinion to myself, talking negatively about The Dreaming didn’t do anything.  We didn’t harm you.  We didn’t cause the comics to be decanonized.   But we won’t pretend to be disappointed by the decanonization.   

What’s the matter?  Realized using buzz words like “Transphobic” and “misogynist” wasn’t going to scare or shame us into silence?  You can’t bully people into liking (what we see as) a badly written story.  We never bullied anyone who liked The Dreaming or made judgements about you as a person. It’s okay to like it.  It’s okay to not like it.   And you can’t make us stop talking about it by holding the threat that Neil Gaiman might read what we say.  We haven’t done anything wrong.   

Neil Gaiman did -NOT- write The Dreaming.  And hopefully he understands the need for catharsis in our petty venting to each other openly here on Tumblr.  God, I hope he understands...   

We love Sandman.  We are not under some contract to like The Dreaming.  No one owns our opinions.  And we have never deliberately offended anyone.  if you like The Dreaming that is fine.  We will not shun you our shut you out.  This fandom is for everyone.  And everyone has a right to like or dislike whatever aspects they want. That’s what personal taste is all about.  Hell, about seventy to seventy five percent of us don’t like the art style of The Kindly Ones, but there’s still that twenty-five percent that does.   (Personally, I love J. H. Williams III’s art for Sandman Overture).   And that’s okay.   

We respect each other. If we bash something that someone else loves, understand it’s not meant to be a personal attack against you.  We’re just Nerds and Geeks being Nerds and Geeks. 

That is all.

[a-demon-within]

Full name

Ichiro Kazue

Preferred name/nickname

(For Ichiro) - Ichiro is just fine.

(For Kazue) - “that asshole”, “dick”, “jerk”, anything negative and directed towards him specifically.

Generally referred to as

(Ichiro) “Ichi”.

(Kazue) “Kaz”

Appearance.

FACECLAIM: I only have a faceclaim for Ichiro for now, and I doubt there’s an accurate looking bunny monster from a movie that looks exactly like Kazue.

Anyway, Ichi’s faceclaim is Takeru Satoh, or Satoh Takeru. I don’t know which way his name goes because he’s one of Japan’s hottest young men.

SEX: Male HEIGHT: (Ichiro) 5′4                    (Kazue) Around 6′8 to maybe around 7′1 WEIGHT: (Ichiro) 130.5 lbs             (Kazue) 168.4 lbs BUILD: Both are pretty toned and slim. HAIR: (Ichiro) His black hair is usually about shoulder length long, for a male. He doesn’t really groom himself, so it’s usually messy. But it’s still nice to touch, because of the shampoo and conditioner he uses.

(Kazue) He is covered head to toe in black and brown fur, like that of a rex rabbit. It sticks outward instead of inward, creating a nice blankety feel through the fingers. Very warm, despite his crude personality! SKIN: (Ichiro) Has a beautiful shade of peach skin that’s very soft to the touch. Not as soft as Kaz’s fur, though!

(Kazue) Nobody knows what his skin is like under his fur. EYES: (Ichiro) He has almond-shaped hazel eyes. They have a curious, almost child-like glint about them...

(Kazue) Red, glowing eyes. The pupils are that of a lizard’s slits for pupils when he’s pissed. Any other time, however; they just look like glowing red rabbit eyes. MOUTH: (Ichiro) He has a model’s lips. Like, someone would pay to have his lips... And he has them naturally. His teeth show little damage, implying that he probably had braces growing up.

(Kazue) I don’t know much about a rabbit’s lips but the teeth? Buck teeth with herbivore incisors along the sides. NOSE: (Ichiro) He has a small, defined nose with little openings. It flares out bigger when he gets mad.

(Kazue) A cute flat, twitchy rabbit nose that you’d just LOVE to boop! ...He wouldn’t like that though. HANDS: (Ichiro) Small, delicate hands. They’re very soft to touch under his gloves.

(Kazue) Medium-sized fluffy hands that have sharp bunny claws at the fingertips. FEET: (Ichiro) He has tiny feet.

(Kazue) He has huge rabbit feet, they are the back ones I’m talking about that he stands on. SCARS: Neither of them have visible scars... OTHER FEATURES: (Kazue) He has huge ears that help keep him cool. OTHER NOTEABLE FEATURES: [Optional - anything you need to mention that isn’t covered by the above.]

Speech.

VOICECLAIM: (Ichiro) I’m just going to pick Takeru Satoh as his voiceclaim for now.

(Kazue) Eddy’s voice from Ed Ed’n Eddy uh Actually I feel like Meta Knight’s voice actor for Hoshi no Kaabii fits him better as a voiceclaim. ACCENT: (Ichiro) That classic Japanese accent, but it’s slowly being replaced by something more... Southern, since he’s living in New Mexico. VERBAL TICKS: Neither of them have those. Ichi used to stutter because he was still learning English, but he’s better now. LANGUAGE: (Ichiro) Japanese was his first language so he’s quite fluent. English is his second language, and he’s doing quite well with his fluency.

(Kazue) He can learn how to speak any language, just by listening to people around him. ARTICULATION: (Ichiro) He mixes basic with intermediate words as his dialect.

(Kazue) He likes using difficult words. EDUCATION: (Ichiro) He uses short words when it comes to English, but for Japanese he’s very educated.

(Kazue) I don’t know. Do demons go to school? LAUGHTER: (Ichiro) He has a cute giggle that lasts for a few seconds.

(Kazue) Depends on whether or not he wants to be creepy or diabolic. If he wants to be creepy, he will start giggling like a stereotypical yandere does. If he’s being diabolical however, he laughs hard. GRUMP: (Ichiro) Nope.

(Kazue) Of course he does when things don’t go his way. He is evil, after all. BREATHING: (Ichiro) He gasps when startled.

(Kazue) His breathing is pretty quiet. You know, like a rabbit’s.

Mannerisms.

FACE: Both of them are very expressive. HANDS: (Ichiro) He doesn’t really use his hands that much to explain anything.

(Kazue) Uh... He flips people off when angry? LEGS/FEET: I don’t think either of them do that. EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS: (Ichiro) He controls his emotions pretty well.

(Kazue) Yes. He is very moody. He tends to react violently. HABITS: Not that I know of. POSTURE: (Ichiro) He tends to slump. Sometimes he wakes up with back pain...

(Kazue) I don’t really know.... SITTING POSTURE: They both like to sit with their legs far apart. PERSONAL SPACE: Depends on who it is really.

Personal.

INTROVERT/EXTROVERT?: They’re both introverts. OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST: (Ichiro) Optimist.

(Ichiro) Pessismist. GENDER: They’re both male. SEXUALITY: (Ichiro) Gay.

(Kaz) Is uninterested so please stop asking. ROMANTIC: (Ichiro) Of course he’s romantic.

(Kazue) NOPE.KAZ BAD HABITS: (Ichiro) He stutters very lightly when anxious.

(Kazue) He’s a dick all the time. Isn’t that a bad habit? TRIGGERS: (Ichiro) Being called yellow or being discriminated against just because he’s Asian.

(Kazue) He IS the trigger.

The Past.

PARENTS/GUARDIANS: Ichiro used to, up until when he moved to America. His father cut him off completely from calling his family once he left, and he hasn’t heard from them since.

ROMANCE: (Ichiro) Loyalty and cuddles is what he wants in a partner.

(Kazue) BAH! Who has time for romance?! ENEMIES: (Ichiro) Anyone whom is excessively rude to him all the time could be his enemy.

(Kazue) Everything is his enemy. RESPECT: They will still respect their enemies, up until when the situations BEG for the disrespect.

Interactions.

MINGLING: (Ichiro) He’s not that good at meeting new friends.

(Kazue) He does anything asshole-ish enough to make others hate him. TEMPER: (Ichiro) Very patient.

(Kazue) Impatient. But consistent. EMPATHY: (Ichiro) He is very empathetic.

(Kazue) Mmmmm... Not really... But then again he doesn’t give two fucks about anything except experimenting. ETIQUETTE: (Ichiro) He always does his best to stick to being polite to everyone.

(Kazue) He is always intentionally rude and mean. RESPONSIBILITY: Yes. SELF ESTEEM: They both stick up for themselves pretty well. CONFIDENCE: NOPE. HONESTY: They both do their best to speak the truth and nothing but the truth. PRAISE: (Ichiro) He loves compliments.

(Kazue) He shrugs the compliment off and asks for an insult instead because he finds insults more entertaining. FAILURES: [Is there anything they do that makes people annoyed or irritated?] CRITICISM: (Ichiro) He tries to improve whatever was being criticized.

(Kazue) He loves insults. He won’t bother to change either. An asshole. INSULTS: (Ichiro) Doesn’t take them very well. He will try to insult the person or people back.

(Kazue) He LOVES insults. FLIRTING: (Ichiro) He’s okay at flirting.

(Kaz) He does not flirt. He’s more interested in experimenting than wasting his time with stupid crap like that. ATTENTION SPAN: (Ichiro) Yes, he tries but he gets kind of bored easily.

(Kazue) He can focus for hours at a time, maybe even days at a time. Incredible. SITUATIONS: Neither of them are good at dealing with social situations, but Kaz is better at the manipulation game than Ichi is.

Life.

CAREER: They both have careers in the medical field at Teufort (unless otherwise specified). COMBAT SKILLS: (Ichiro) He is mediocre at hand-to-hand combat. He prefers healing and dropping Ubers on teammates who need it, really...

(Kazue) Really good at hand-to-hand/Bonesaw-to-face combat. DAILY LIFE: They both cope well when it comes to their daily lives. INDEPENDENCE: (Ichiro) Honestly if it weren’t for Kazue’s presence, Ichi would probably struggle a hell of a lot trying to be independent.

(Kazue) Very independent. COOKING: (Ichiro) He can cook a huge variety of Japanese dishes.

(Kazue) I’m not sure. CLEANING: They’re both very tidy. DRIVING: (Ichiro) Has a driver’s license for both Japan and America.

(Kazue) Doesn’t drive and doesn’t really understand vehicles. MARRIAGE: Neither have been married in the main verse yet. LAW: (Kazue) The list of crimes is too long to explain. COURT: (Kazue) Yes. He’s had inhumane human experimentation/modification charges against him with attempted murder charges. Such a long list. PRISON: (Ichiro) Yes, due to Kazue possessing him and doing horrible crimes. He woke up in the cell incredibly confused.

(Kazue) Of course. He’s ended up causing Ichi to go to jail countless times. His crimes were usually attempted murder, inhumane human modification charges, public indecency, lying under oath... The list is too long to recall right now. MEDICAL: They are both skilled at doctoring themselves. ILLNESS: (Ichiro) High functioning autism.

(Kazue) General Assholery Syndrome? WORRIES: Of course. PEACE: (Ichiro) He loves when it’s quiet.

(Kazue) He causes chaos intentionally, he enjoys being a loud motherfucker. PARTYING: Not really. HOBBIES: (Ichiro) He likes to drink green tea, cook traditional Japanese meals and watch the birds.

(Kazue) He loves to experiment. Most of the experiments are inhumane.

TAGGING...

@rubyscout @blue-haired-tales @angelic-marksman @ask-spudscout @nmscout

and whoever else wants to do this.

[sonoflayton]

Laws

DISCLAIMER

I do not claim to be or own Alfendi Layton or any of the face claims I have used for him.

SENSITIVE SUBJECTS

If you can't already tell, sensitive subjects are often discussed on this blog. Lots of traumatic events have occured in Alfendi's life, and they heavily affect who he is as a character. In addition, Alfendi works as an inspector for the Scotland Yard, typically solving locked-room murders, so the subject of death and murder is bound to come up. Al and Fendi also have their own mental health issues that they're sorting through, like Al's PTSD and Fendi's depression.

Because of this, this blog has a recommended age rating of 18+. Minors are welcome to follow, but please be aware of what you're getting into, as I will not be censoring anything for you (aside from tagging triggers).

PRIVACY

I am a PRIVATE blog, meaning that I only interact in character with my mutuals. A mutual is an account that follows and is followed by me. If I do not follow you, we are not ( yet ) mutuals. If we are not mutuals, please do not send me in character content, attempt to initiate threads, etc. The only exceptions to this rule are sideblogs that I follow that cannot follow me back ( y’know, ‘cause they’re sideblogs ).

SELECTIVITY

I am a SEMI-SELECTIVE blog, meaning that I can be picky about who I follow, but I will not dismiss any blog without giving their account a fair, solid look. If I decide not to follow you, please don't take it personally! It is a polite declination to roleplay.

UNFOLLOWING

IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW ME BACK AFTER TWO DAYS TO A WEEK, I WILL UNFOLLOW. This is in the interest of keeping my dash clean and limited to only those that I can interact with. If you follow me back after that time period, I will refollow you, so no worries. 

ACTIVITY

AT ANY GIVEN POINT IN TIME, I AM ONLY SEMI-ACTIVE AND HAVE LOW ACTIVITY. As much as I love writing and roleplaying, my real life comes first. I’m a full-time college student and it is possible for me to disappear for as long as a week without even a notice. ( Though I’ll try to at least give a heads up.

I am often SLOW TO REPLY. This isn't always because I am busy, but because I have ADHD and depression, which affects my motivation and ability to focus on my replies, unless the thread I'm replying to is my "new favorite thread". I'm sorry!

QUEUE

MY BLOG RUNS ON A QUEUE. My queue is set to post three times daily, at 10am, 12pm and 2pm PST. All threads will be queued. OOC posts and memes, non-starter asks, etc. are posted as they are conceived. If, for some reason, I have fallen behind in my drafts, I will load a couple of day’s worth of posts in my queue in order to allow me time to catch up.

THREAD TRACKER

I have one.

GUEST MUSES

Are you an Alfendi blog whose getting tired of the "OMG, it's me from another universe" plot? Do you want to know more about some of the characters that influenced my Alfendi? Look no further: my blog features guest muses for your interaction pleasure.

• Guest muses are not full muses. They are here to add depth to my Alfendi's story.

• Guest muses default to my own interpretation of Alfendi and his canon. What does this mean? If you send a guest muse an ask about Alfendi, they will default to my Alfendi and speak on him unless otherwise stated. During threads, especially ones where the multiverse is acknowledged, guest muses will default to my blog's canon. There can and will be exceptions to this, and those will only take place when discussed by the muns.

• For Claira, everything above is void. Claira is an OC, one that I'm proud of so far and excited to work with. If Claira meets an Alfendi that is not my own, her canon will change to fit that of the Alfendi she meets. She is here as a guest muse for the meantime, but if she gains traction, she will be given her own blog.

• In addition, if Alfendi is asked about or name drops a character who happens to be one of my guest muses, he is speaking about my guest muse unless otherwise specified. The only exception to this is if I have an exclusive sharing the same muse as one of my guest muses. If this is the case, the exclusive muse will take priority.

MAINS & EXCLUSIVES

Here's my mains & exclusives call, to help break the ice if you're interested in being mains or exclusives!

Poptart, what are mains & exclusives? I'm glad you asked.

Being exclusives means that you are the only version of your muse I will interact with, and I am the only Alfendi you will interact with. The benefits of being exclusives with me are:

• Reduced duplicate anxiety for both of us.

• When your muse is namedropped by Alfendi, Alfendi means your muse.

• When your muse is namedropped by someone else, Alfendi will react as though they meant your muse.

• Many opportunities for deeper character and relationship development.

• Surprise starters.

An exclusive relationship requires a lot of trust, obviously, so before becoming exclusives, we need to be OOC friends.

If you, an exclusive of mine, go inactive for a month or more without notice, you'll be bumped down to a main. Not because I don't love you, but simply because it isn't fair to others. I expect the same treatment. If I haven't started interacting with a new version of your muse when you return, I'll be happy to take you back as an exclusive.

Being mains means that you are the primary version of your muse I will interact with, and I am the primary Alfendi you will interact with. The benefits of being mains with me are:

• If I have an idea for a plot for our muses, I will come to you first before anyone else.

• Many opportunities for deeper character and relationship development.

• Surprise starters.

I would like to have at least a thread, preferably more, and I'd like to get to know you OOC before becoming mains.

I accept two mains per muse, but if you want in, talk to me. I might make an exception.

SHIPPING

I am a MULTISHIP BLOG. This means that every ship with my muses takes place in an alternate universe where each ship is canon, and as such, infidelity does not occur. Do not accuse my muse of cheating on yours with another muse that they are being shipped with. Infidelity only occurs when plotted with all involved parties.

REMINDERS

PLEASE DO NOT SPAM ME FOR REPLIES. I'm grateful for the occasional enthusiastic reminder, inquiry, or idea about our thread, but nothing too aggressive or constant, please. 

NSFW

REGARDING 18+ CONTENT: As of writing, I am 19 years old. My birthday is 09/29/2000. I am comfortable discussing sex occasionally, making racy jokes, etc. I am not comfortable writing smut, please do not proposition me to do so. I am also not comfortable discussing sex with or about muses or muns who are minors.

THE MUN IS AN IDIOT

Sometimes I make mistakes, so does everyone. I can guarantee that I never mean any malice, so if I have accidentally said something rude or offensive, please correct me. Sometimes you will know more than me about a given subject. I will always try to do my research, but if I ever say something incorrect, let me know!

TRIGGERS

I TAG TRIGGERS AS "#TRIGGER TW" (e.g. "#negativity tw"). Sometimes I forget to tag some common and unique triggers. Please let me know if I forget one! I will immediately go back and tag it.

BLACKLIST

Please tag naughty things with "#nsfw", "#nsfw tw", "#lemon", "#lemon tw", "#smut", "#smut tw", or something along those lines.

Also, please tag vague posts with "#vague" or "#vague tw".

Please don't use aesthetic tags to tag these sorts of posts.

DON'T TALK SHIT

In the same vein as the rule above, IF YOU PLAN ON TALKING SMACK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK, BLOCK ME. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, SAY IT TO MY FACE OR DON’T SAY IT AT ALL. I’m an adult and I can take criticism like one. This is a massive no-no when it comes to interacting with me and will earn you an instablock.

FAN ART

IF I HAVE USED FAN ART, IT IS PROBABLY AN ACCIDENT. I try to only use fan art if and only if I know for a fact that the artist is comfortable with roleplayers doing so. If the artist has not publically stated their comfort with roleplayers using their art, andI have used their art, it is 100% an accident and I have likely confused their art for canon material. Please let me know if I have done so, and I will react accordingly.

MY ART

Being surrounded by all these artist friends lately has inspired me to practice my artwork more seriously. Please don't use any artwork that I post here for anything. I'm insecure about how my art looks, and usually the artwork that I post on this blog reflects my specific headcanons and things relating to Alfendi or the guest muses, so I'm not really comfortable with it being spread around.

That being said, if I draw you art as a gift, you are allowed to do whatever you want with it. Make icons? Promo graphics? Go for it, it's my gift to you. You don't even need to credit me. You are not, however, allowed to badger me into making free art for you. That's just not cool.

Here's a good rule of thumb: If you see artwork watermarked with my URL, please don't use it. If I send you art in DMs without a watermark, go wild!

COMMISSIONS

Please do not reach out to me in asking for free graphics, icons, promos, art, etc. This has happened multiple times. Yes, sometimes I do free art and graphics for friends, but this is never prompted by them---it is always because I am inspired, not because they solicited it.

As someone who is struggling to make ends meet, knowing that people are commissioned for this sort of thing, this makes me very uncomfortable. This is for a few reasons. One, if someone comes to me, requesting I make them a graphic for free and I do it, I would feel guilty, as though I was taking work from an artist who makes their living making such graphics. Two, it feels a little exploitative, because if I say no, I could be putting our relationship at risk. Three, because of how exploitative it is, I worry that someone may try to manipulate me into being their friend specifically to get free art and graphics from me.

I’m happy to do informal commissions and such for whatever you need. Pricing will be discussed on what we decide together sounds reasonable, but I’ll be flexible. I don’t expect to earn much, and money earned will be used to fund minor luxuries. If enough people commission me and I earn a better understanding of how commissions work, I’ll open up commissions formally.

CALLOUTS

I NO LONGER BOOST CALLOUT POSTS UNLESS THE CALLOUT IS PROVING BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT THE BLOG IN QUESTION IS DANGEROUS (NOT TOXIC). I have simply made the personal decision to no longer boost callouts regarding someone’s behavior. For those who would like more information, please contact me privately with a polite inquiry.

DO NOT POLICE WHO I DECIDE TO INTERACT WITH

IF I INTERACT WITH SOMEONE, AND THEY MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WILL TAG THEIR URL FROM THEN ON. Or you can unfollow, that’s cool too. No hard feelings.

LIKING THREAD HABITS

I TRY TO LIKE THE MOST RECENT REPLY TO OUR THREAD WHEN I ADD IT TO MY DRAFTS. It's a notification for you to let you know that your thread made it into my drafts and I have not lost it.

FOLLOWER TRACKER

I USE A FOLLOWER TRACKER. It doesn't track your IP or location or anything, it just checks my follower list for changes. I only use it to ensure that I don't send any more in character content to you if you are no longer interested in interacting with me. I take no offense if you do decide to unfollow me, and I won't hunt you down and ask for an explanation or anything creepy like that.

ICONS

PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY ICONS. I spend a lot of time working on them. It makes me very sad. Instead, please consider asking me directly how I achieve the effect you like on my icons so you can make a cool psd of your own.

GODMODING

You control your character, I control mine, DON'T GODMOD, GODMODE, POWERPLAY, AUTOHIT, ETC. It's not cool. If it does happen, I'll assume it was an accident and ask you to change your reply.

PLEASE CUT YOUR POSTS.

If the thread is para or multipara, I’m alright with three replies on a single post: your reply, your partner’s reply, and then your next reply. If the thread is a one-liner or crack, I’m alright with more as long as you don’t go overboard. If you do more than I’m okay with, I may unfollow for the sake of having a clean dashboard that I can scroll through.

ASKS ON NEW POSTS

IF OUR THREAD BEGINS WITH AN ASK, PLEASE CONTINUE IT ON A NEW POST LINKING BACK TO THE ORIGINAL ASK. Please. It’s confusing and cluttered and looks really ugly.

REBLOG KARMA

PLEASE DON’T REBLOG ROLEPLAY MEMES FROM ME without sending one in beforehand. I mean, I’m not going to be angry or confront if you do, but I’m just going to be a little bit upset and hurt about it.

SPECIFY MUSE

I am not a mind reader, so PLEASE SPECIFY MUSE WHEN LIKING STARTER CALLS, SENDING MEMES, ETC. I always say something along the lines of “tell me who you want or I’ll pick for you”, but what I’m probably actually going to do is, depending on how comfortable I am with you, ask you directly which muse you wanted, or completely avoid you because I’m scared of messing up.

MUN VS. MUSE

I, THE MUN, AM NOT MY MUSE. MY MUSE IS NOT ME. Please don't confuse us, our behaviors, or our ideals.

MUSE AND FANDOM DISCOMFORT

I HAVE SOME MUSES AND FANDOMS THAT MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE. These include, but are not limited to:

My Little Pony muses.If you are a single muse blog, and you write an MLP muse, I am not likely to follow you. If you are a multimuse, however, and you write non-MLP muses, this alone will not deter me from following you. I merely have a personal distaste for MLP.

Dolph from Camp Camp. Hitler jokes are not funny, and shame on the team for thinking it’s okay to make an entire character who is one. Unless you are writing Dolph in a way that you are actively acknowledging the bad choices on the part of the creators and are developing him as a character in a way that moves him beyond his unfortunate schtick, I have no interest in writing with you or any other muses you may have.

Real-life people. I’m not really cool with roleplaying with people who roleplay as real-life people, such as YouTubers, historical figures or idols, especially those such as Jacksepticeye, who has expressly stated his discomfort publicly. I find it disrespectful and it makes me uncomfortable. Self-insert OCs are of a different variety, one that I’m okay with interacting with as long as typical RP etiquette is adhered to.

Religious and mythical figures and dieties. I'm not comfortable with muses who are from religious texts of any sort, because these figures are someone's god or messiahs, and to them, they are not works of fiction, and thus, portraying them is wildly inappropriate. If it isn't okay to portray Jesus Christ, why would it be okay to portray an obscure diety from Native American mythology? However, I am comfortable with interacting with OC or fictional characters who are deities, because they are creations of the imagination, not someone who is worshiped.

Genderbends. Genderbends, by their very existence, are transphobic. Here's a post that explains the issue beautifully. If you want to bend the gender of your muse, just make them trans, man.

UNWELCOME IDEALS

DO NOT INTERACT IF...

You are a pedophile, support pedophilia, or write smut with or about minors, or are a minor writing smut.

You support or write incest.

You write active discrimination in your threads. (Differing from mentioning and discussing discrimination as a part of your muse’s past.)

You write active sexual abuse or sexual violence in your threads. (Differing from mentioning and discussing sexual abuse and violence as a part of your muse’s past.) 

LISA & CHILD ABUSE

Child abuse is a topic that is frequently discussed on this blog, but is one that is always tagged and never written about explicitly. It only occurs implicitly with young Alfendi, and seldomly at that, and is sometimes talked about in threads.

I will never, ever, ever write Lisa. Ever. I am not comfortable writing her, not even for one of those 'ask my muse's parents' memes. I am not comfortable composing even a single line of dialogue for her. Not only is she abusive and gross, but attempting to write her would be triggering for me in a couple different ways.

If you want to terrorize Alfendi by sending an anon saying something as a Lisanon or Ghost!Lisa or whatever, go for it! Fuck him up! But, don't send literal active child abuse to my inbox, because that's disgusting.

UNFOLLOWING AND BLOCKING

It is extremely rare that I will unfollow or block someone. IF I HAVE UNFOLLOWED OR BLOCKED YOU, I HAVE A VALID REASON FOR DOING SO. I DO NOT OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION, SO PLEASE DO NOT INQUIRE.

If you decide to unfollow me, that is fair and I will not hold it against you. PLEASE SOFT BLOCK ME IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO.

BLOG PASSWORDS

I DON'T SEND IN BLOG PASSWORDS, EVEN THE 'LIKE-THE-POST' ONES. It makes me anxious. I promise that I have read your rules a minimum of thrice: once before following, once before beginning our first thread, and once before interacting. I often refer to other people's rules.

If you have read my rules, you are welcome to like this post to let me know! ( This is completely optional! )

MUN

Alias: POPTART Name: RED Birthdate: 09/29/2000 Pronouns: THEY/THEM Timezone: PST

hello! my name's poppy and i'm simultaneously a good lad and a chaotic entity. i have two cats named katrielle and flora. i really, really love this chaotic bastard, alfendi layton.

i'm in a relationship with @mragentofchaos.

CREDITS

Icons and PSD were made by me.

My main blog theme was made by ddkinzart on Tumblr.

The stars update tab was made by leiqhade on Tumblr.

The music player theme was made by nobroken on Tumblr.

The background for my blog was made by me, using these free bloodsplatter brushes.

The music player code used on my blog was made by fukuo on tumblr.

Alfendi sprites from the game are pulled and compiled by mysteryroomfiles.

Custom Alfendi sprites used in icons were made by mystery-room on Tumblr.

Some art used for icons was made by my friend p0p-r0x75 and is used with permission.

Some Alfendi icons were drawn for me by the lovely taiyodoroki as part of an art exchange and are used with permission.

Base icons for Alfendi's main face claim was made by professordipshit on Tumblr.

One of Alfendi's face claims is the Bartender from the manga "Le Théâtre de A", and the base icons were capped and made by me.

Base icons for one of Alfendi's mainverse face claims comes from dcfygraviity, boulevardofangstydreams, jefemetro, aspartha, and iconsbyafangirl, all on Tumblr.

Base icons for Alfendi's teen, young adult and child face claim were made by iconsbyafangirl [second link] [third link] [fourth link], sharesicons, iconmakingaddiction-blog, thatsharkguy, fuckyeahanimangaicons, and bishies-are-here, all on Tumblr.

Base icons for Alfendi's IRL face claim are made by rpicxns [second link], on tumblr.

Base icons for Alfendi's alternate IRL face claim are made by pripecias on Tumblr.

The 'faceless' rp icons used come from animanga-icon-dump on tumblr. I have since forgotten which icon packs I use.

My OOC faceclaim is Apollo Justice, and base icons for him were made by , nochordsofsteelnojustice, anythingapollo, and yumis-icons, all on tumblr. Fanart is used in some icons, and I assume due dilligence was done in asking the artists for permission before making base icons of their artwork. If your art is featured in these icons and your permission was not given, I will happily take them down and delete them from my computer upon request.

[noxiim]

(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what

and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out 

Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.

When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.

Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.

That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.

If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.

Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.

So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕