#and i was like...hmm... 'she likes very seasoned food

[notmoreflippingelves]

It's really a shame that I've only really seen Valentina shipped with Prince Alonso or (more occasionally) with Elena. Don't get me wrong, those are nice enough ships. But oh my god, I cannot be the only person who sees that the Shining Light of Paraiso™ goes perfectly in every possible ship I can think of.

[holylulusworld]

BFG (3)

Summary: He’s new to town and just your type…

Pairing: Reacher x Plussized!Reader

Warnings: size kink, flirty reader, objectification of Reacher, language, violence, flirting, fluff, mentions of animal cruelty / eating dogs (nothing happens!), slow burn continues

A/N: Please consider that I do not follow the exact storyline of season one. Some characters known from the show may appear.

Catch up here: BFG (2)

BFG masterlist

“The front door is fixed,” Reacher says as he walks into your kitchen to gulp down a huge glass of water. “I checked on the backdoor too and fixed it. I’ll take care of the fence when I’m back.”

“Reacher,” you sigh. “You don’t have to fix my house or the fence. I invited you to stay here for free. And after you handled KJ so well, I owe you.”

“He owed you respect,” he says and places the glass he used into the sink. “I don’t like men treating women like that. You deserve respect, and to be treated right.”

If you weren’t already head over heels for him, you’d have lost your heart to Reacher at that very moment. “You are very well-behaved. A gentleman.” You eye him up and down and bite your lower lip.

“My mom taught me to respect women and to use my strength only to do good,” he shrugs. “I only hurt people deserving to get hurt. He disrespected and harassed you.”

“Your mom was a wise woman,” you step toward Reacher to grab his hand. “She raised a righteous man. I wish I could meet her to thank your mom.”

“She’s—” his voice cracks. You already knew that she must’ve passed away from the way he talked about her, and the sadness in his eyes. “I think she would’ve liked you.”

“Hmm…moms always like me,” you grin. “Because of my charming personality and the pie, I make.”

“I bet they do,” he gives you a half smile. “Your pie is the best I ever ate.”

“Now you try to get more free food out of me.” You chuckle and turn around to prepare breakfast. “What about tonight? Will you be around for dinner?"

“I don’t know yet,” he says and looks out of the window. You still don’t know why he’s in town, or how he spends the time away from your diner and house. “I’ll try to make it in time.”

“If not,” you turn back around to run your hand over his arm, “I’ll make sure to have some leftovers for you. A big man like you got to eat.”

“Not again,” you yell at the owner of the restaurant across the street. He once again chased the poor stray away and even kicked the dog. “I will make sure they arrest you, asshat. The dog didn’t do anything wrong. He only walked past your restaurant to reach my diner!”

“Well then, put a leash around that beast’s neck and shut your mouth,” the man yells back. “If not, he’ll eat a bullet next time that piece of shit comes near my restaurant. You can sell its meat at your shitty diner after I’m done with that mangy mutt!”

You crouch down and call for the dog. He trots toward you and whines low in his throat. “I told you to stay away from that asshole. How about I take you home? I know you are used to freedom and not having an owner, but we can just pretend we are roommates.”

“Y/N, is something wrong?” Sally Ann comes running toward you. “What happened? Your roommate, or private bodyguard, or whatever that guy is to you stormed out of the front door. I think he’s about to kill someone.”

“What? I-“ You hear Reacher’s angry voice. This time, it’s directed toward the owner of the restaurant. “Fuck!” You ask Sally Ann to look out for the dog while you try to cross the street before Reacher kills that man.

“REACHER!” You call for him, but it’s too late. The restaurant owner refused to apologize to you and even tried to land the first punch. Reacher easily dodged his attack, stopped the man’s fist in midair, and twisted his arm. “Fuck!”

“One last time,” Reacher snarls at the man, still holding his arm in a tight grip. “You will apologize to the lady and leave the dog alone. If I hear or see that you threaten any animal or kid ever again, I’ll break more than your arm.”

As fast as he grabbed the man, Reacher released the restaurant owner and stepped away. He’d like to beat the man into a bloody pulp for what he said and did, but he doesn’t want you to see only the violent man he can become to protect people.

“Are you alright?” You don’t care that the restaurant owner cries and sniffles. Your hand reaches out for Reacher to check on him. “Did he hurt you?”

“He broke my fucking arm,” the man whines and hopes for any sign of compassion from you. “That monster!”

“Monster?” You cock your head. “Last time I checked you threatened children and an old dog. You wanted to shoot him and offered his meat to me. If anyone in town is a monster, it’s you. Not the man defending me and the dog.”

“I’ll call the cops!”

“Go ahead,” you snap at the man. “Everyone saw what you did and heard what you said. I don’t think a single person will help you!”

There is applause coming from the other side of the street. Your employees and guests cheer for you and Reacher. “We should head back. The dog needs food and you a slice of my pie.”

Reacher glares at the whining man one last time. The restaurant owner flinches and ducks his head.

“I shouldn’t have hurt him,” he says on your way toward the diner. “He was much smaller and weaker than me.”

“He’s an awful person, sweetie,” you grab his hand and squeeze it. “Believe me, you did the right thing. I saw him slap a kid two weeks ago. And he kicked a cat away from his door. He threatened Charlie too.”

“Charlie?” He furrows his brows.

“I gave him a name,” you smile. “Maybe he’ll stick around for a little longer if I give him a name.”

Crazy from Patsy Kline blares from the old radio at your kitchen when Reacher sneaks inside the room. He watches you slowly dance to the song. In lack of a partner, you just sway to the music and close your eyes.

“Hi, uh-“ he clears his throat. “I brought wine, dog food, and Clark bars.” 

“Perfect timing,” you clap your hands. “Come on, it’s Patsy. Dance with me Reacher.” You hold out your hands. “One dance.”

“I don’t dance. Ever.” He glances at the old radio. “That’s almost antic.”

You drop your hands and sigh. No dance for you then. “It belonged to my grandmother. I know it’s old and most of the time it doesn’t work but…” you shake your head and turn around. “I didn’t have the heart to throw it away.”

“It’s a dear memory,” you feel his hands on your hips, and his chest pressed against your back. “You don’t throw memories away.” Reacher starts to sway, and you follow his lead. “Where’s the dog?”

“At the living room. He prefers to lie in front of the couch instead of using the dog bed I bought,” you turn around and start to dance with Reacher. “For a man who never dances, you’re not bad at dancing.”

“I love to dance,” he moves one hand to your back and presses you closer to his body. “If I ask someone for a dance, it mostly includes a lot of punching.”

You chuckle. “You won’t punch me,” he hums and watches you rest your head against his chest. “I wanted to thank you for punching two guys for me within three days.”

Reacher dances with you for another song before he reluctantly lets go of you. He turns your attention toward the wine and dinner instead of the things going on in his head.

He cannot risk getting attached to you. If this case is over, and he finds the murderer of his brother, Reacher will leave town. The last thing he wants is for you to miss him, or even fall for him.

Even though, the thought of getting attached to you is nice…

BFG (4)

Tags in reblog.

[bedoballoons]

oh well if you didn’t get itI basically said that move to will probably not be able to control mui because he only appears to turn into ai but it’s just an illiusion.

for my request it was another mitsuri like us x character but we are sad about our past.

SPOILER FOR SEASON 3!!!!!

Due to mitsuri eating so much food, having be reallly strong and have pink and green hair. She was called a pig and one EX said that only a cow or pig would ever marry her which made her dye her hair black and eat 9x less than she needed. And when she found another partner she realized she don’t keep on pretending. One headcannon can I have about her is that you do this she gained an eating disorder. Where she will not eat as much as she needs.

can the characters be: wanderer,albedo,diluc,kaeya,xiao and one of your choice. I love your works and also My cat just had 3 KITTYS!!! I plan on naming them scarameow,kokkie and coco.🐱🐱🍫🍪

Ohhh! You know I really seem to write this show alot and I've still never seen it... :p CONGRATULATIONS on kittens!! Those are such cute names!! I hope they are all doing well ❤️❤️

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃

{༻~Mitsuri like reader~༺}

CW: Angsty! Reader has a eating disorder, has been called a pig and is self conscious about weight! (Pet names: Lyney: Mon chérie, my love,

A/n: I just wanted to say that if you've ever been called a pig, or cow or made fun of for your weight, please don't listen to them. Your body is beautiful and me personally I think you're amazing wether you're skinnier than average or heavier than average. You are gorgeous! ❤️

(Includes: Diluc, Lyney, Albedo, Xiao, Wanderer, and Kaeya!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Diluc:

Diluc set a plate in front of you, sitting in the chair across from you with a hopeful gleam in his red eyes...,"I haven't seen you eat anything all day...please, just a few bites. It's your favourite, fresh out of the oven." You looked down at the fresh warm food, the wonderful smell making your stomach churn unhappily, it was such a fatty dish...

Suddenly the harsh words of others started playing in your head, reminding you why you wanted to loose weight so badly..

Pig

Cow

Fatty

You pushed his cooking away, unable to even take a nibble, "I'm not hungry...sorry Diluc. It smells amazing though..." you tried to smile at him, but he clearly wasn't happy with your response. He took your hand into his and placed a kiss on your fingers, whispering against them with sorrow in his voice, "You are beautiful the way you are...please, don't listen to them."

𑁍༄Lyney:

Lyney hurried up to you, holding a freshly baked croissant in his hands that he'd gotten for the two of you to share, silently hoping you'd eat it with him...that all of his suspicions weren't true, "Mon chérie! Looks yummy hmm? Want to sit down for a bite?" His eyes met yours and he simply couldn't imagine how someone could say anything horrible about you, you...were the most gorgeous person in his eyes and he wished so desperately he could show you that.

"I don't mind if we sit and chat while you eat! I'm not really in the mood for a croissant right now, thank you though." You tried your best to sound sweet and truthful, feeling so guilty you had to lie to him...but you wanted to be perfect for him and loosing weight seemed to be the only way...at least in everyone else's eyes.

"...my love, I'll get you anything you wish to eat.."

"I'm just...not hungry right now Lyney."

He grasped your wrist softly, stopping you from walking away so he could kiss your lips...he'd find a way to show you your own beauty, he'd tell you every hour on the dot if he had to...

𑁍༄Albedo:

Albedo bit his lip, for once in his life he had encountered a problem he just had no idea how to solve, he thought of you as the true meaning of life, the very being that made him want to get out of bed every morning and show his love for you any way he could, a inspiration that never ceased to look perfect and yet...you didn't feel that way about yourself...

How could it be, how could someone break your heart...call you a pig for enjoying food...a cow, it bothered him to no end and he just couldn't wrap his head around that cruelty..."Klee and I made cookies...they are chocolate chip...with a few sprinkles, would you like some?" He sat next to you, Klee following after him, "Ohhh please try one! The sprinkles make them extra yummy!" She looked at you with such a cute face...that for a split second you considered it...they smelled so good and even with sprinkles you could tell they'd be delicious..but, you felt sick at the thought of taking bite...

"Awe next time Klee, I'm...not hungry right now..."

Albedo sighed...how was he going to fix this...

𑁍༄Xiao:

Xiao was having a hard time understanding your situation, it didn't make sense, why would the pathetic humans who couldn't compare to you in the slightest tell you such awful things...and why would you ever believe them? He was so worried about you, your normally plump cheeks sunken in slightly and your happy smile gone, you didn't enjoy eating...in fact he almost never saw you eat at all anymore.

He had to remind you every two minutes, just to take a few bites and even then you'd refuse, "You should eat...you need to. Please." You'd look away, slightly angry...slightly sad and just say you didn't want to, and it wasn't like he was going to force you to, but he wished there was a way he could help. He'd just have to keep telling you what was true...clearing their sick words from your mind with his sweet sentiments,

"You are the true meaning of every beautiful thing in this world, those mortals are threatened by it and seek to destroy you because of it...don't listen to them."

"You look perfect in my eyes..."

𑁍༄Wanderer:

"Why are you listening to those idiots! They probably wouldn't know what beauty was if it slapped them in the face! You are...ughhh" Wanderer groaned in annoyance, knowing full well yelling wasn't going to help you...but he was just so angry, how dare anyone bully you like that, get under your skin. "I'm sorry....I didn't mean to shout, I just, you can't believe what they are saying! Hell if someone like me, who's never loved anyone before...who never gave a damn what people looked like...could fall so goddamn hard for you, you have to be goregous. I will say that as many times as I have to!"

You fought the urge to cry, he didn't usually get so emotional over things like this, but he was worried about you and...for good reason, "Wanderer, I'm fine.." You tucked a piece of your pink hair behind you ear, trying to hide from his prying eyes that starred daggers at you, did you truly think he'd buy that? "Don't lie to me. You're not fine, you're hurting yourself...making yourself sick. Just tell me what to do! How do I help! What do I say...you're fucking perfect to me...isn't that enough?"

𑁍༄Kaeya:

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Oh...are you sure you don't want just a bite. I've gone and ordered two, you wouldn't want me to have to eat both would you? I'd surely become ill with a stomach ache.." Kaeya scooched the plate in your direction, using every persuasive method he could think of...he'd already tried complimenting you over and over, flirting with you more often, showering you with kisses and love, but you still wouldn't enjoy a meal with him. This was his last resort...

"Kaeya..."

"Pretty please...just a little would make me so happy..."

You sighed, thinking about how much you'd eaten...or more rather, how much you hadn't eaten and took a small bite, the flavours tasting good, but not like they used to...it was difficult to even swallow. Kaeya seemed so proud though, so...hopeful.

◥(•̀￦•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

[itsclydebitches]

ok ok ok but imagine trent's daughter, Phoebe and Henry, on a playdate or exploring stadium together? Like how have these kiddos not become friends??

YOU'RE SO RIGHT, ANON.

Headcanon time:

During a weekend training Henry is visiting again, Roy's sister is sick so he's justifying the Best Uncle award Phoebe gave him last year (it's very glittery), and Trent's babysitter unexpectedly bailed. So they all trail into work with kids that day and Rebecca is like, "Excuse me this is not a fucking daycare."

She says this while giving them all a kiss.

Pheobe: "That's a bad word, Ms. Welton, you owe me a pound."

Henry and Phoebe immediately race outside to play with the team but Trent's daughter, who is both younger and has never played football before, is just the shiest little bean about joining in. Trent, expert in anxious parenting, is prepared to run damage control with her favorite coloring books but Ted holds him back and within ten minutes Phoebe is showing her the ropes while Henry is Very Seriously working to tie her hair back for her.

Henry: "Excuse me, Mr. Independent sir, but can I borrow another hair-tie?"

Trent: "... how do you know my name?"

Trent, internally: Wait. Mr. Independent isn't my name??

Trent, with shorter hair than in Season 2: "Never mind that. How do you know I have hair-ties?"

Henry, answering both questions: "Daddy."

[Trent.exe has stopped working]

Rebecca, shouting across the pitch: "Give her pigtails, Henry! There you go!"

So the crimmlet learns some football and Trent, after recovering from his Omg Ted Talks About Me to His Son panic almost sorta kinda cries about it. By this point the himbos are absolutely in love with the trio and would die for them, no hesitation. (Dani actually says this, which is mildly alarming for the kids). After some super secret techniques are shared -- Phoebe: "This is how you kick the ball into someone's face. Uncle Ted loves it!" -- they all decide that they should probably get some actual training done. Besides, Henry just brought up the West Ham game he went to and... uh...

Yeah. Best to scoot them on out of there. Unconditional love doesn't trump hatred of West Ham, unfortunately.

The stadium houses a team of pro athletes and a massive staff of sleep-deprived professionals, meaning that there's plenty of food to go around for lunch. Ted (childhood personified) and Trent (a domestic mess post-divorce) are both happy to let the kids pig out on snacks. A growled "Fuck that" from Roy sends them off to the kitchen downstairs.

Do stadiums have kitchens? No idea. Probably not. This one does!

Trent, carryout aficionado: "So... does anyone know how to cook?"

Roy: "Do I fucking look like I have time to cook?"

Trent: "This was your idea."

Roy: "Shut up."

Ted: "Hmm. I'm afraid I'm more of a baking man myself."

The kids have been sitting at the counter, heads ping-ponging back and forth as they watch their three guardians fail the basic task of feeding them. Luckily for their faith in adults, it's about this moment that the crimmlet remembers that this is Ted.

Biscuit Ted.

Did you know that Trent Crimm used to be in a band? A metal band? That for six months in college he rebelled in the only way he knew how - artistically - and screamed everything he was keeping bottled up inside until he learned to purge himself through vicious prose instead?

His daughter inherited his lungs.

A six-year-old's high-pitched screaming + the reverberation of a primarily metal space = Significant Pain. Ted's, "Holy moly, Ms. Banshee!" is barely audible and Roy just nopes out of the situation without a shred of guilt. Phoebe and Henry -- immune to loud noises in the way only children can be -- exchange a A Look over the top of the crimmlet's head. Because she's screaming for the biscuits Ted gives her every week.

Henry hasn't had his Dad's cookies in six months.

Phoebe hasn't had them at all.

Now the screaming is joined by Very Indignant Yelling.

Trent: "Ted just make them some fucking biscuits."

Ted: "Right because that's healthier than the vending machines!?"

But one sugary meal is worth saving their eardrums, so.

There's an immediate change in tune when Ted asks who's gonna help him lick the bowl. Instant peace. Baking with three kids is messy, to put it mildly, and Ted isn't entirely sure how flour got into Trent's hair, but it definitely has more white streaks in it than it did this morning. Without thinking, he reaches up to smooth some of the flour away, fingers dragging gently through a lock and brushing his cheek in the process.

[Trent.exe has stopped working x2]

Crimmlet, tugging his pantleg with little flour handprints: "Daddy can the biscuit man stay forever?"

Trent, voice strangled: "... sure, honey."

Higgins pops in to find an absolute disaster of a kitchen and the normally unruffled Trent with cheeks the color of maraschino cherries (what's that about?). After getting caught up on events -- what they're willing to admit to, anyway -- he gently informs them that he could have fixed the kids a meal not made out of sugar and butter. Ah well. Too late now.

Higgins: "Also, Ted, shouldn't you be coaching the boys?"

Ted: "I'm sure Beard has it well in hand."

[Hard cut to the team seated semi-circle around Beard. He's lecturing on the drugs they can take without tanking their careers. Many are taking notes.]

The one good thing about a sugar high is that the crash comes right afterwards. Pheobe managed to get the crimmlet on her shoulders and the three of them raced off to explore the stadium, burning with short-term energy. Trent is mildly concerned about them sneaking out, but Ted reassures him that there's security at every exit. You know, to keep any... uh...

Trent: Press out?

Ted: Not all the press.

Trent: Oh, so I'm an exception am I?

Higgins, still standing there, forgotten, thinking about the book Trent is writing and how yes, he's literally an exception??

Ted: Trent Crimm you are not only an exception, you are exceptional.

[Trent.exe has stopped working x3]

Higgins, internally: OHHHHHHHHH

Later, there is a brief moment of panic when they can't find the kids -- Roy: "Don't worry. I once lost Phoebe and she turned up in my neighbor's bathtub with a new haircut." Ted: "Huh. That there's a story for another time." -- but Will ushers them quietly into the storeroom where they're piled like puppies on a bed of clean laundry, fast asleep. Ted snaps a picture and immediately sends it to the Richmond group chat. The himbos all come running to see the wholesomeness for themselves.

Will, whispering: They're so cute!! ... wait, now I need to do the laundry again :(((

Dani: No. Do not. Their beautiful, sleepy essence will help us win games.

Will: ... weird, but alright.

Henry's getting a little big for this now, but Ted manages to lift him bridle style and gently presses a kiss into his hair. Trent tenderly picks his little girl up, hand cradling her curls.

Roy slings Phoebe over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She doesn't stir.

Rebecca sternly tells them that they're never to do this again, but also if she doesn't see the trio soon they'll regret it. Here's the ten pounds I owe Phoebe. Also there had better be some biscuits left, Ted.

Henry only wakes when they're back at the apartment, Beard flipping through nature documentaries while Ted kicks his legs up into his lap. Henry squeezes between the two of them.

Ted: "You have fun today, kiddo?"

Henry: "Uh huh."

Ted: "Hey, what's Trent's daughter's name anyway?"

Henry: "Oh... I never asked."

Beard tuts. "Why you wanna know so bad?"

Ted: "I just figure I should know his kid's name before I ask him out."

[Trent, twelve miles West, suddenly and without any warning getting hit with an absolute fuckton of feelings]:

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Flufftober Day 11 | Chocolate lovers

Pairing | Boyfriend!Dad!Young!Tony Stark x Girlfriend!Mom!Female!Reader

Word count | 3.7K

Summary | Your daughter, Orion, has been wanting hot chocolate as a treat for a while now, and you and Tony are finally giving her just that. Though Tony's sweet tooth craves something much sweeter, he can't help but make it even more delicious by adding some sweet chocolate syrup.

Warning(s) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Tooth rotting fluff, smut (cockwarming, lazily making out, food play (chocolate sauce), hair pulling, nipple play, fingering, oral (F&M receiving), face fucking, cumming untouched, squirting, multiple orgasms, aftercare).

Prompt(s) | 11. Sweet tooth + Alt 1. Hot chocolate | @flufftober

A/n | This one shot is written for day 11 of Flufftober 2023, and it is part of my AU called 'love of my life'. It can be read as a standalone or combined with the rest of my AU. I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I did when writing it 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🧡

Divider is made by @cafekitsune | GIF-credit goes to @ladyeliot

Main Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist | AU Masterlist | Flufftober Masterlist

"Mommy? Can we have cocoa night?" your daughter Orion asks as you walk into the store. She's seated in your cart, and your son Hudson is in your boyfriend's.

The season has slowly been changing from warm summer to colder autumn days, and you absolutely love it, so you happily agree with your daughter.

"Course we can, Babygirl. What do you think, Tony? Want to make it a hot cocoa night tonight?" you ask as you walk through the produce aisle, looking at some vegetables for dinner.

"Hmm, that sounds like the perfect plan! But we need to make it early because we're having a big day tomorrow, remember? We're going to the zoo tomorrow!" Tony reminds you and the kids, who both happily cheer in their way.

When all the necessary groceries are loaded into the cart, you are on your way to the aisle with everything needed for a perfect hot chocolate. You're getting multiple flavors, many different sizes of marshmallows, and candy canes.

"How about we get some chocolate syrup for our pleasure later tonight?" Tony whispers into your ear, and you feel yourself getting wet at the thought alone, and you happily agree.

When Tony loaded the small syrup bottle into his cart, you were all done, and the four of you made your way to the register. As usual, the cashiers always coo to Hudson and Orion, who eat up every bit of attention they can get, and you understand entirely; they're the most adorable children ever.

You get behind the wheel when you're all done, and Tony sits on the passenger side. It's quite a drive back to the house, and since Tony drove on the way to the store, you're driving back home.

"I love you, Sunshine," he says as he brings your hand to his lips, placing a delicate kiss on your knuckles as he looks at you through his lashes, making the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

The drive back to your house went down without a hitch, and the twins even fell asleep about halfway through the drive, for which you are both very thankful.

You managed to transfer the twins to their beds without waking them up, and Tony was putting the food away when he suddenly came across the chocolate sauce again. It had already slipped his mind that you had bought it, but he'd use it well later.

When you're walking back to the living room, Tony meets you halfway, and without warning, he pulls you closer, planting a soft, tender kiss on your lips that has your panties soaked in no time.

When you pull away, you look at him through half-lidded eyes, a big smile breaking out. "What was that for?"

"No reason; I just felt like kissing my beautiful girlfriend and the most amazing mother of my children," he says, looking at you with pure adoration.

When he moved even closer, you suddenly felt that he was getting hard, and it suddenly clicked in your brain. A grin not unlike that of the Cheshire cat forms as you pull him toward the couch, a plan forming in your mind.

He pulls you onto the couch so you'll be straddling him, your dress hiking up slightly as you do so. "Can I keep you warm until one of the twins wakes up?" you ask innocently.

"Of course, Sunshine," Tony says, and you open his belt and pants enough to pull out his now almost uncomfortably hard dick before pushing your panties to the side and letting yourself slide down.

You let out a hiss as you feel him filling you up, the slight stretch giving a delicious and pleasurable feeling as you let out a soft moan once he's slipped in completely.

You let your head fall against his shoulder, and Tony places soft kisses on your neck and shoulder, his hands rubbing lovingly over your back as the two of you sit like this for a few minutes, basking in each other's love and warmth.

When you've adjusted to him, you lift your head and give him a soft peck on his lips, after which your kisses slowly get deeper and more passionate. The two of you enjoy a lazy make-out session for half an hour until you suddenly hear feet trotting your way.

"Duty calls," you say with a breathy laugh before lifting yourself off of Tony and swiftly adjusting your underwear while Tony stuffs himself away quickly and right on time.

"Daddy!" Orion says before falling into Tony's arms, and he puts her on his thigh for a sleepy cuddle, their favorite thing to do. Orion is the true definition of a Daddy's girl, but Hudson, on the other hand, is a total Momma's boy, and you're not mad at that.

"Hi, Babygirl," he says as he pulls her close, and she completely melts into his arms, like you did not long before. Like mother, like daughter, they say.

"I'm going to wake up Hudson, okay? After I get started on dinner," you said, and he nodded before craning his neck, begging for a once more kiss. He could never get enough of tasting you in whichever way possible.

"Hi, Babyboy," you say as you walk into the twins' shared bedroom, and he immediately pulls his happiest face as he sees you. Once he's sitting, he makes grabby hands at you, and you crouch down to let him wrap his arms around your neck, his cheek pressed against yours.

"Shall we make some warm milk for you and your sister? As a little treat for taking such a good nap?" you ask, and he happily nods, his thumb in his mouth as he curls into your side, his favorite place to be when you carry him.

Right now, they're still small enough to carry around, but you're dreading the day when you can't pick them up anymore, though you try not to think too hard about that.

"Orion, would you like some warm milk as well as a treat for taking the best nap ever?" you ask as you walk into the living room; she's curled into Tony's side, her thumb in her mouth, and she nods.

You and Hudson walk into the kitchen, and he has pulled his thumb out of his mouth and told you about something that happened in a cartoon; you listen intently while keeping an eye on the milk as it's warming up.

When it's warmed up, you put some honey in for both of them and put it in their respective cups to enjoy when all four of you are sitting on the couch.

"Here you go," you say as you hand the cup to Orion, and she starts drinking immediately. When you sit down, you curl into Tony's other side so Hudson can have his milk.

Both kids are fully awake but entranced by the cartoons they watch when their milk is gone. "Do you want to cuddle with Mommy, Babygirl? That way, I can start dinner," Tony asks Orion.

"Okay," she says with a small voice and crawls over Tony into your lap, occupying the space on your free thigh. She grabs Hudson's hand, and the three of you sit like that, all while you're trying not to die from absolute cuteness right now.

Tony looks at the sight in front of him as he's fighting against the tears, his three greatest loves all cuddled up and comfy on the couch. He snaps a quick picture before sending it in their family group chat and getting started on dinner not long after.

Dinner was gone before you knew it, and you promised the kids some hot chocolate before bed, so that's precisely what you'll do.

"Love, would you mind giving them a bath while I prepare the hot chocolates for everyone?" you ask, and he nods before taking the kids to the bathroom and bathing them.

In the meantime, you're getting all the toppings for the hot chocolate ready in little bowls so that everyone can build their own, though there will be some restrictions for the twins. Otherwise, they'll fill it up with marshmallows.

When the different sizes of marshmallows, candy canes, and other chocolatey goodness are on the table, you're preparing the milk, and based on the amount of laughter coming from the bathroom, the kids are also done with their bath.

About 10 minutes later, the twins run up to you wearing matching gingerbread men's pajamas, making them look adorable.

"Alright, let's get you both in your chairs so we can all have some hot chocolate together," you say before lifting them one by one in their chairs, shortly followed by Tony, who pulls you in for a soft, short kiss.

"We're ready for our hot chocolates," he says, taking his usual place at the dinner table. You give Orion and Hudson their hot chocolate with half a sachet of hot chocolate mix each due to the amount of sugar, and you and Tony have a regular one.

Everyone made their perfect hot chocolates, and the kids both had one extra marshmallow as a treat on the side, which they both happily nibbled on while drinking their hot chocolate. And your evening feels perfect as it warms your heart.

"Shall I bring you two Munchkins to bed? Daddy can clean up here while I tuck you two into bed," you ask, and both Orion and Hudson nod sleepily, and you and Tony can't help but chuckle at the sight.

It only takes half a story for them to be into a deep sleep, and you ensure the baby monitor in their room is on before closing the door and helping Tony in the kitchen with the clean-up.

When you enter the kitchen, Tony finishes the clean-up, leaning against the counter with the chocolate syrup bottle beside him. You had completely forgotten about it then, but he hasn't.

As you approach him, he reaches out his hand, which you happily take, and he pulls you towards himself, wrapping his arms around your waist until your chest is touching his, and he gives you a sweet, shy smile before closing the gap between you two.

Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of his lips against yours, and you let him take the lead, opening your mouth instantly as you feel him licking against your lips.

You moan softly when you can taste Tony and some of the chocolate sauce he squirted onto his tongue, making your mind go crazy. The sweetness of the chocolate combined with Tony's usual minty taste has you slipping into a fuzzy headspace, and you try to pull him impossibly closer.

Tony's hands wander over your back upwards until he's reached your neck, one hand gripping tightly while the other slides up into your hair, pulling it harshly and making you groan loudly while his tongue runs over your throat, leaving a faint trail of chocolate behind.

But that wasn't enough for him, oh no. Tony has a sweet tooth beyond belief, and you have not seen the last of this syrup bottle yet.

Seemingly out of nowhere, he picks you up and puts you on the counter, and you spread your legs instantly, letting Tony take his place between them.

"C'mon, pull that zipper down for me, Sunshine," Tony says as his hands slowly rub your thighs, his hungry gaze fixed on your chest.

You tease him a little by pulling down your straps one by one and unzipping the front of your dress ever so slowly. You're completely naked underneath your clothing, which makes the reveal so much better, though his eyes almost burn a hole in your chest.

When it's completely undone, you let the fabric fall onto the counter, making Tony growl from deep within his chest when he sees you've been naked this entire time.

"Hmm, can't believe you've been naked under here for me this entire time, Sunshine," he says before leaning down and attaching his mouth to your nipple, letting his hand play with the other until he has an idea.

"Lean back a little for me, Sunshine. Wouldn't want this chocolate syrup to go everywhere after all," Tony says, and you do, laying your underarms on the counter as you lean back, leaning on them while Tony flips the bottle open.

He drizzles some of the chocolate syrup on your nipples, and it's a bit cold, but the thick sauce gives a pleasurable feeling to your pebbled buds.

"Can't wait to make a dripping mess of you," Tony says before he pokes his tongue out and licks over your hard nipple, lapping the chocolate sauce up while his hands keep inching closer to where you need him most.

"Please," you beg as your head falls back. The pleasure is almost overwhelming, yet there doesn't seem to be enough all at the same time. Something about him licking chocolate sauce off of you makes everything ten times hotter, and Tony is already rock hard, though he's taking care of you first.

"What is it that you want, Sunshine? Can't give you what you want unless you tell me," he says with a slightly degrading tone, and the pool of arousal between your legs grows with them.

"Want your fingers, Tony! Want to cum on your fingers," you tell him as he licks and sucks the chocolate sauce off your other nipple.

"Open your mouth first," he orders, and you do, sticking out your tongue as he holds up the syrup bottle, letting him squirt some on your tongue before capturing your mouth again, licking the sauce off your tongue.

"Good girl," he says, and the moan you let out as two of his long, thick fingers are pushed into your dripping cunt is honestly obscene. The pleasure you're feeling is so much that within a few short thrusts of his fingers, you cum with a broken moan of his name.

Your thighs tremble as Tony works you through your orgasm precisely to ensure he can prolong it for as long as possible. "Fuck me, please," you breathe out, but he doesn't grant your wish yet.

"I'll make you fall apart on my cock later, Sunshine, but right now, I want a taste of my delicious pussy, especially after she's been squeezing my fingers during your orgasm," Tony says with a mischievous look in his eyes.

He pulls you to the edge of the counter with a yelp, bends down to attach his mouth to your wet folds, and starts licking and sucking every last drop of your arousal.

You moan, and in the back of your head, you're thankful you have two deep sleepers. Otherwise, this would have been a different type of evening.

Tony groans as his tongue goes into your entrance, and his thumb is making steady work of your clit. Your hands find their way into his hair, and before he can even warn you what's happening, he cums into his pants from the combination of the hair pulling, eating you out, and your sounds.

He keeps building you up with a renewed vigor, and before you know it, you're falling apart again. A familiar rush of warm fluid rushes through you, and you squirt all over his face and the kitchen floor.

"Fuck, taste so good when you squirt for me, Sunshine," he says before licking up every last drop from your thighs and oversensitive pussy.

"Is too much," you say as you push him away, and he listens, instead opting to pull you in for a deep kiss that has your head reeling after the intense pleasure he gave you just now.

"Let's continue this in the bedroom, yeah? Made a mess of myself because of you, Sunshine. Came without you even touching me when you pulled my hair," he says as he picks you up, and you wrap your legs and arms around him so he can carry you to the bedroom.

"Love you so much, My Love," you sigh as you let him carry you.

When you're in the bedroom, Tony puts the chocolate sauce he brought with him on the nightstand, letting you lay down on the and taking his clothes off.

"Fuck, you made a big mess for me to clean up, didn't you?" you say, looking at the state of his clothes and the cum clinging everywhere. But that's not what surprised you most, but the fact that he is still hard is unexpected after the orgasm he just had.

You get up to sit on your knees as he walks to the edge of the bed and instantly stick out your tongue as he's close, ready to lick every last drop of cum off of him.

"Hmm, you look like a perfect cockslut like this, Sunshine; I should have you on your knees more often," Tony says while squeezing your cheeks with his left hand, his right one finding its place in your hair.

You lean forward, and as soon as you lick the cum off his tip, he lets out a deep groan because he's still sensitive after the orgasm, despite being fully hard again.

When he's all cleaned up, you take him into your hand and rub slowly up and down over his shaft, and you can't help but tease him a little with some kitten licks over his tip, which earns you a tug on your hair, making you moan.

"P-please, let me suck you off," you say, and he nods, so you don't waste any more time before taking his tip into your mouth and sucking in your cheek before slowly taking more of him.

The moan he lets out when you do that makes your cunt throb, but you're choosing to ignore it for now, instead wanting to make Tony feel like an angel is touching him. Though if you ask him, he already is.

The grip he had on your face is finally gone as he places both hands in your hair and sets a rough pace, fucking your face in earnest as he hears you gag, and the tears are streaming down your face as you look up at him.

"Oh, fuck," he groans through gritted teeth as he sets a brutal pace, and you're nails are digging into his thighs while you try to keep eye contact with him, which isn't as easy as you may have thought.

The pain your nails provide and the pleasure he feels make him fall apart very quickly, and before you know it, you're swallowing every last drop he gives you.

When he pulls out, he sits down next to you on the bed and quickly pulls you into his arms to calm you down a little, and he's genuinely concerned about your well-being when he sees you're crying.

"Are you okay, Sunshine? Did I go too far?" he asks between the kisses he's peppering on your face and hair, but you shake your head. He didn't go too far, but it was just a little unexpected, and you're still coming down from it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it that far," he whispers as you're trying to fight your tears, but to no avail. He wipes the tears away with his thumbs and holds you close until you've come down from everything.

"It's okay, Sunshine. I'm here with you," he whispers as he pulls the comforter over you and shifts a little, sitting against the bed's headboard while you're calming down in his arms.

"S-Sorry-" you croak out, but he doesn't let you apologize. "There's nothing to say sorry for, Sunshine. You've been perfect, and I'm sorry I may have pushed it too far. You've done nothing wrong; you're always doing so well for me," Tony tells you, and you believe him.

You just lay in his arms for a while, even after the tears stop. After fifteen minutes, you're finally ready to talk about it, and you're glad Tony is always willing to listen.

"I-I was a little… overwhelmed," you start, and Tony looks at you with interest and gives you his full attention.

"It's not that it was unpleasant at all, but we should have talked about it first. I'm not against it, and I won't mind you doing it again… Just not any time soon, okay?" you say with pleading eyes, and he wholeheartedly agrees.

"I should be saying sorry, Sunshine. I got carried away, and I didn't consider your feelings, but I am so incredibly proud of you for talking about it with me," he says before placing a small peck on your nose, and it makes you smile.

"See? There's that beautiful smile of yours again," he says, and you lean in for a kiss, feeling happy that you can always talk to him about any- and everything, no matter what.

"Shall we take a bath together before sleep? Our Munchkins are still fast asleep, so I doubt they'll wake up when we take a bath together," you ask him, and Tony agrees.

"I'll get it ready, okay? I'll get you once it's ready," Tony says, and you let him go so he can prepare the bath with your favorite scented bath oil and a few candles you always have in the bathroom for a romantic atmosphere.

"It's ready, Sunshine," he says, and you get up after Tony extends his hand and leads you into the bathroom. He steps into the tub and guides you in, and the two of you sink in the warm water, letting it envelop you entirely.

You place your place between Tony's legs and his arms wrapped around your waist, your head against his shoulder, and a small smile etched onto your face.

"Thank you for everything you do for me, Tony. And for the kids, as well, they are the luckiest Munchkins on this earth to have you as their dad," you say, and Tony's cheeks turn red at the praise and a shy smile forms on his face.

"Well, I couldn't do it without you, Sunshine. You're my rock, my love, my everything. And I honestly can't wait to marry you one day. Nothing on this earth would make me happier than to be your husband one day," Tony says, though he would return on that promise in many years.

The day he takes back his words is when he holds his first grandchild in his arms, and he couldn't be more proud of the family the two of you have built together over the years.

[flilisskywalker]

Can we talk about sex in The Mandalorian? Let’s talk about sex in The Mandalorian.

Because holy bantha, the third season is filled with sex. “But it’s a kid’s show. It has a green baby that helps sell toys.” True. It’s also a show that likes to flirt with the idea of sex between Din and Bo-Katan. 

In chapter 19, after they leave Mandalore, Bo says she would invite him for a feast in her castle if he was helmetless.

You could say she is just inviting him to eat some food, but considering she fed that tin can with pog soup in the Mines and her lips parted when she watched this man bathing in full armor (She’s been horny for him since The Heiress), that invitation is not for dinner.

It’s for SEX.

Then in chapter 22, an episode surrounded by romance, Din and Bo go to a planet called Plazir-15. Plazir is the french word for PLEASURE. Exactly, PLEASURE. One of the concept arts for the episode has written in aurebesh on one of the buildings “LUST Alley.” 

In the droid bar, the bartender says random shit no one cares until he brings out of nowhere that HUMAN LIFE IS SHORT and immediately after he says this, Bo-Katan smiles at Din.

 If you watched enough movies, you know that when two characters who are very close realize their life is short, they do something about it. THEY FUCK. 

Jon Favreau is basically telling you that they should be fucking their brains out. 

Oh yeah, they also receive a key to Plazir (PLEASURE), which is metaphorical as hell.

Then in chapter 23, Din receives from Greef a bottle of Coruscant liquor for SMALLER GATHERING. Hmm, I wonder who the hell is the smaller gathering. Definitely not the person he spent the whole season glued to. Definitely not Lady Bo-Katan Kryze *winks* 

Then in chapter 24, everybody thought they crushed the DinBo dream, but during Grogu’s adoption, Din’s helmet is wet and now the documentary confirmed there is a scene of him being redeemed again. 

BUT WHY THE HELL THIS MAN WHO DOESN’T LIKE TO REMOVE HIS HELMET FOR ANYTHING WOULD HAVE TO BE REDEEMED. 

Unless...

He took off his helmet. 

BUT WHY WOULD HE REMOVE IT AGAIN? 

The question is not why, my friends, the question is TO WHO. 

And the answer is obviously Bo-Katan because this woman was hungry for this man since season 2. Add this to Katee Sackhoff joking that her favorite part of the finale was when they had sex in the Waters, which I’m not even sure it’s that much of a joke anymore. 

In conclusion, Din and Bo fucked in season 3. 

[balkanradfem]

So, since the gardening season was unsuccessful, and really sad, I've been dreaming of starting new seeds. I've decided, this time, I'm going to plant so many tomatoes that nothing will be able to prevent the tomato harvest. It's gonna be all tomato garden, 40+ tomato plants, I'll build shelters for them in case of hail, weave nets, I'm ready, let's do this.

However, it's October, and there's precious little I can do in October to start plants; if I germinate anything right now, there won't be enough sun for it to grow, and it will pout and die </3. It happens every year when I stubbornly plant basil and it checks out the daylight levels and decides to nope out of that situation.

So, instead, what I'm doing, is still learning about mushrooms! I'm going to the forest regularly and collecting anything that could possibly be edible, and trying it out. I've been lucky to find so many edible boletes, I've been drying them in the summer and I have a great dried mushroom stash, which will prove very valuable during the winter.

Now there's a mushroom that grows when nothing else is really available, the latin name is 'Neoboletus luridiformis' and it looks like this:

Cool, right? A red bolete mushroom. She's called Scarletina Bolete. Looks poisonous. However, sources claim that this mushroom is edible, granted it's cooked first. I've been sheepish to try it because it's so red, and there are red boletes that are 100% poisonous, so this is just a health risk. You can check if the mushroom is this one because it stains blue and black when you cut it, and mine do. This is how it looks like cut:

I mean that does look extremely unappetizing but it says right there on wikipedia that it's edible:

hmm so anyway, I've finally decided to stop being a coward, and I cooked the mushroom and had some yesterday! It's still not been a full 24 hours, but I'm faring well for now. If this turns to be a good food source, I'll be set for the entire year because this baby grows at all times in the forest.

Another cool thing I'm trying out is acorn pancakes. I discovered some people on youtube who are making acorn flour and then baking pancakes out of it, and I've been curious about acorns before, but now I'm set with instructions and knowledge on how to process it. Acorns were used as a source of flour before wheat was in use, and it was pretty great, because they didn't need to cut down forests, or plow the fields, or turn bunch of soil to dust; people can just collect acorns because oak trees are everywhere here. The only issue is that the acorns are filled with tannins, which is a chemical that produces a very bitter taste, which makes them not very tasty. However, people have also figured out how to ''wash the tannins out', and there's a process of boiling and throwing water away, or leaving them buried next to a riverbank for a year, in order to get them to taste good.

I haven't yet decided what route I'm going to take, but I collected some acorns last time I was in the forest:

I have to admit they feel very good to hold in hand. They're so nicely brown, almost chestnut in color, they're shiny, pleasant oval shape, and very heavy. It felt like I was holding something valuable, rich. Since they're a wild food, I know they have more nutrients in them than anything we developed ourselves, wild food generally has 3 times more nutrition than anything growing in a human-made garden.

I've also stumbled on a few acorns that have sprouted roots! I've collected them as well, and put them in a soil-filled container on my balcony, let's see if I can grow an oak tree. That would feel extremely cool to grow.

I'm also collecting and curing walnuts (apparently you can make a walnut butter out of them I did not know that), conkers (for the laundry detergent, I love them), nettle (drying into powder, using as a calcium supplement) and I've also found some violets growing at this time, so I collected the leaves for tea; they're medicinal for colds, flus and fevers.

I'm going to the forest again tomorrow, and hopefully I'll write another update about fun things I've found and trying out! Stay safe and don't follow my lead to eat weird things, unless you research them yourself.

[guilty-pleasures21]

Serendipity & Chance

Chapter 3 - The ball

Warnings: mentions of racism.

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     She fiddled with her fingers, her stomach roiling as she waited for her turn to be announced to the Queen. Would she acknowledge her? Would she dismiss her without a second glance? Or would she go so far as to make a mockery of her in front of her blue-blooded highborn court? A hand slipped into hers and X looked up to find her mother shooting her a reassuring glance. She sucked in a breath, pushing down her nerves and held her head high. Finally, the doors swung open and she released her mother's hand so the two of them could make their way down the aisle. She kept her gaze lowered as she approached the throne, her attention fixated on not tripping or falling over when she dipped low into her curtsy. She barely heard the whispers and intrigued murmurs rustling through the room as the haughty members of the aristocracy took in this strange foreigner in their midst. 

     “Rise, Miss Kaur,” the Queen commanded her, her voice firm but gentle. “I would like to take a look at your face.”

     X lifted her head, trying not to let her nerves show, but the Queen maintained an unreadable expression as she examined her carefully.

     “Tell me, Ms Kaur,” the Queen continued unexpectedly, “how do you find England?”

     “It is magnificent, Your Majesty,” X replied immediately, knowing it to be the correct answer. “All the art and the culture and the exploration. It is truly a testament to the limitless abilities of the human mind, my Queen.” She refrained from giving a sigh of relief, glad that she'd been able to keep her tone relaxed as she'd forced the lies from her lips - it wouldn't do to have the Queen know how she hated the gloomy weather and the false politeness and the bland and tasteless food. But the Queen just gave her a satisfied smile, seemingly oblivious to her inner displeasure.

     “I am glad you like it, child,” she replied approvingly. “And might I say you look exceptionally darling today, Miss Kaur. I will be keeping my ears open for news of your journey this Season.”

     X swallowed a gasp, shocked to have the Queen herself take such an interest in her! Then her mother nudged her side and the two of them dropped into another curtsey before finally exiting the room. X grabbed her mother's arm once they were out of sight, her eyes wide with amazement.

     “Did the Queen just speak to me, mama?!” she inquired, utterly dazed by the events that had just occurred. “Do you think my responses were all right? She did not appear displeased, did she?”

     “I think not!” her mother agreed, equally as surprised as she. “She seemed rather interested to know how you would fare this Season!”

     This Season, when all her chances at marriage would be squandered by the deal she'd made to help her neighbour - her childhood friend she'd always looked out for. Her insides twisted at the thought of disappointing the Queen - at the thought of yet another challenge that obstructed her path to her happily ever after. But she gave her mother an understanding nod and obediently followed as she led the way to the ballroom.

     He fidgeted with the collar of his shirt as he stood in a corner of the ballroom, waiting for the presentation to be over. Would she be all right? She'd most definitely stand out from all the other young ladies appearing before the Queen today, but would that be an advantage or would it place a target on her head? He hoped she hadn't gotten herself too worked up before her presentation: she'd never been very good at hiding her emotions, every thought racing through her mind showing itself on her expressive features. The Queen wouldn’t like that. His brother placed a hand on his shoulder, sensing his agitation, and flashed him a curious look. “Miguel? What’s wrong? Why do you seem so nervous?”

     “Hmm? Oh, no,” Miguel reassured him quickly, “I’m not nervous. I’m just-” Before he could finish his sentence the steward interrupted him, announcing the arrival of the one for whom he'd been so impatiently waiting.

     “Presenting Miss Kaur, daughter of Lord and Lady Singh.”

     He grinned when he saw her standing at the top of her stairs, her beautiful cotton dress sparkling beneath the bright lights. She looked so stunning in the Punjabi-style dress, the soft white material hugging her ample curves before flaring out from her waist. She smiled as her gaze landed on him, amused to find that he'd already been gazing up at her. But then she turned to Gabe and grinned even wider when he gave her a little wave. Miguel rolled his eyes at the sight of her excitement and strode towards X, meeting her just as she approached the bottom of the stairs. He held a hand out to her and gave a small bow before fixing her with a playful smirk. “My lady. Would you be so generous as to grant this poor man the honour of dancing with the most beautiful lady in the entire room?”

     She let out a little snicker as she placed her hand in his and Miguel couldn't help but run his thumb over her smooth skin as he led her to the dancefloor. 

     “You flatter me, my lord,” X told him, placing her hand on the edge of his shoulder as they moved into their positions.

     “On the contrary, you flatter me by granting me the privilege of being your first dance partner of the night,” Miguel argued, placing his hand on her upper back before bending over to murmur in her ear. “Just look at all the envious glares I am receiving right now.”

     She glanced around the room, noting the curious - and admiring - gazes of many of the gentlemen present. Her cheeks heated up at the realisation and she lowered her gaze, inching just a little closer to Miguel. He chuckled when he sensed her sudden apprehension and dropped his hand just a little lower down her back.  

     “You should be proud of yourself, princesa,” he praised her. “I am sure you will have absolutely no problem finding a husband once our agreement is over.”

     She couldn't stop the soft giggle that spilled out of her at his words and Miguel felt his heart quicken slightly at the sound. She was … kind of cute, if he were to be really honest with himself. She definitely would not have a problem finding a husband once their deal was terminated. He only hoped it would be someone who appreciated her in all the ways she deserved.

     He hadn't expected his brother to make such a quick beeline for his friend, claiming her first dance almost as soon as she'd stepped into the room. And he hadn't expected his friend to have enjoyed his brother's company enough for her to keep smiling and laughing at whatever he was saying to her either. What could they be talking about? A hand clamped down on Gabe's shoulder unexpectedly, jolting him out of his reverie.

     “Lord Gabriel? Are you all right?” Gabriel glanced over at Lord Charleston, a tall and thin young man with sandy hair and blue eyes. 

     “What?” he replied distractedly, quickly turning his attention back to his brother and their friend. “Oh, yes, I'm fine. I just … never took my brother as one for dancing.”

     Lord Charleston's lips twisted into a mischievous smile at the sight of X, twirling around the dance floor in her gorgeous dress. “Well, when you get the chance to dance with a beautiful woman like that, who wouldn't become the world's most renowned dancer?”

     Gabe frowned, unsure how to feel about the possibility of his brother being interested in their neighbour. He'd always thought he'd just seen her as … well, as his annoying younger brother's annoying little friend. But the way he looked at her - the way he beamed and danced as if all the weight of the world had finally been lifted off his shoulders … It was most definitely not the way you looked at someone you found annoying.

     Felice Orsini grinned, delighting in the thrilled reactions of the crowd around him. They'd been hanging on his every word for the past hour, oohing and aahing as he'd regaled them with tales of his daring escape from Mantua. He'd fled from the prison not long after being thrown into it on charges of treason and had fortuitously found his way to the home of an old friend. He glanced over at Frederick, son of the Earl George Fitzroy of Langford, and sidled over to him when he noticed the look of rage on his features. He followed the direction of Frederick's gaze and found him to be observing a tall and strapping young man sweeping around the dancefloor with an elegant - and adorable - young lady on his arm. “Is that him, my lord?” 

     Frederick scoffed, appalled by sight of his half-brother - by the evidence that his noble father had somehow fallen prey to the charms of some brown-skinned seductress. This was the man - the savage - who thought he could just waltz into high society and steal his inheritance from right under his nose?! The abomination over whom he'd heard his mother weeping over every night when he'd been but a child? “Indeed.”

     Felice squinted at the dancefloor, trying to get a closer look at the dancing couple. “And who is that young lady he is dancing with? They appear to be quite familiar with one another.”

     “Who cares?” Frederick huffed as his gaze fell on X, her smooth skin equally as tanned as his half-brother's. “All these filthy foreigners flooding our country. If my father had been King you could be sure that all of them would be relegated to their positions at the bottom of society! Exactly where they belong!”

     Felice rolled his eyes, amused by his pale-skinned, blond-haired, green-eyed friend's impassioned ranting. The young Earl had always held a deep resentment for the Queen, steadfast in his belief that his father - the eldest son of the previous King - should have been crowned the next monarch, in spite of his illegitimate origins. And yet, here he was, arguing that the illegitimate son of his own father be denied his share of their inheritance. He gave Frederick a pat on the shoulder, then steered him towards a faraway section of the ballroom. “Enough about that, my friend. Let us go search for your own bride tonight, yes?”

     Miguel strolled back over to his brother, the leftover adrenaline still rushing through his veins as he came down from the high of his dance. He'd never been one for dancing despite his mother insisting that he be trained in it as every other member of the gentry was expected to be. But the way she spun around in his arms, relaxed, effortless … Perhaps there was something to this dancing nonsense after all. He raised an eyebrow at his brother, still tucked away in a corner of the ballroom with his friends. “You aren't going to dance tonight, hermano?”

     Gabriel grabbed his brother's arm as he walked past him, doing his best to maintain a polite smile even as he hissed at him through gritted teeth. “I told you not to speak like that in public, brother.” 

     Miguel rolled his eyes at his brother's continued attempts to wipe society's memory of his mixed parentage. “My apologies, brother.”

     Gabe released his grip on Miguel, ignoring the sarcasm in his tone, but he kept his gaze trained on X, his expression curious. “Why were you dancing with X?”

     Miguel raised an eyebrow, inexplicably irritated by the innocent question. 

     “I know her,” he replied gruffly. “And besides, it was her first dance of her first season - I did not want her to feel uncomfortable.”

     That sounded more like his brother; unintentionally looking after X as if it meant nothing to him. So perhaps he hadn't suddenly become interested in her overnight, once she'd reached the eligible age of marriage. 

     “Right,” Gabe agreed, feeling bad now that he hadn't thought to check in on his friend after her presentation. “I should probably help put her at ease as well.” He walked over to the dancefloor and waited patiently at the edge for the current dance to be over. Then, when X and her partner had showered one another with their thanks, he stepped forward, his elbow angled towards her in question. X grinned and curled her fingers around him, her stomach flipping at how handsome he looked in his navy blue waistcoat. 

     “Gab-” she cut herself off quickly, remembering how particular her friend was about using the formalities when in public. “Lord Gabriel! How nice to be able to enjoy your company this evening!” But now she couldn't help but think about how she and Miguel would always address one another so informally when they were alone, no matter if they were out in public.

     “Good evening, my lady. Would you like a refreshment?” X nodded in agreement and Gabriel began leading her over to the drinks table. “A rather … bold choice of dress, my lady. But it suits you.”

     Before, she would have been thrilled by the praise, completely ignoring the hesitant pause before the ambiguous compliment. But now, that minute bit of silence was filled with the reminder that Miguel had immediately told that she was the most beautiful woman in the room and that he - one of the most sought-after bachelors thanks to his devilish good looks - appeared paltry in comparison. She followed after Gabe, the bright smile plastered to her face faltering at the ends at the realisation. “Thank you.”

     Gwen strolled along the buffet tables silently, lost deep in her thoughts. Would he be here tonight? Probably not considering he came from one of the lower-class neighbourhoods. And what did it matter to her whether or not he came? It wasn’t like they were friends or anything - they’d only ever had a single conversation and that was just him trying to be polite as he’d helped her find her way back to her real friends.

     “Gwen?” Anjali questioned, startling her out of her thoughts. “Are you not seeing what I am seeing?” 

     Gwen looked up, too dazed by the abrupt interruption to process what her friend had just said. “Hmm? Oh, pardon me! What was it you were saying?”

     “I was just pointing out that Miguel has already asked my sister for a dance twice tonight!”

     Gwen gasped at the revelation, instantly forgetting all about her earlier concerns. 

     “Twice?!” she echoed, scandalised by the thought.

     “Exactly!” Anjali agreed, her own suspicions validated by her friend's vehement reaction. “That is as good as a proposal, is it not?!” 

     Her gaze flickered back over to the dance floor, where Miguel had found another partner to dance with. Nevertheless, his eyes remained fixed on X, his brows furrowed as he watched her twirling around in another man’s arms. Anjali leaned a little closer to Gwen, a look of disappointment taking over her features. “And yet, she still fancies herself in love with Gabriel!”

     Gwen turned her attention to the dancefloor, considering Anjali’s words carefully. Miguel and X had always been quite close, from what she'd seen of their interactions whenever they'd come to the city. But though they shared many of the same interests, Miguel was older than her by about four years whereas she and Gabriel were the same age. And where Gabriel had already inherited an entire estate and a title by the mere age of seventeen - when his father had passed the year before - Miguel had - and would likely always have - absolutely nothing to his name. 

     “Well, she must have her reasons,” Gwen suggested finally. “She does know herself best, after all.” Anjali swivelled back around to shoot Gwen an unconvinced look. 

     “Does she? Does she really?” she questioned before spinning back around to face the dance floor. She folded her arms across her chest as she began recounting her observations of the night to Gwen. “Miguel practically ran over to her as soon as she appeared, parting the dancefloor as if it were the Red Sea or some such bizarre phenomenon! And Gabe has only asked her to dance once tonight and then not even batted an eye at her for the rest of the night! Look! Even now, Miguel is just waiting for his turn to cut into X’s dance!”

     Gwen narrowed her eyes at Miguel, studying the agitation barely noticeable in his movements as he kept his partner close to X's pairing. “But … do you think they would be well suited to one another?”

     Anjali's jaw dropped in shock at the suggestion that they would not. 

     “Obviously!” she scoffed in disbelief. “Aside from sharing many of the same interests, Miguel is a man who understands the value of hard work - the same as my father. It is only natural to assume that my sister would want to instil those same values in her children. Gabriel, on the other hand, has had everything in his life handed to him on a silver platter; he can even blend in with the majority population if he likes, conveniently forgetting his mixed heritage whenever it appears to suit him!”

     Gwen placed a hand on Anjali's shoulder, concerned by how worked up her friend had become over the situation. “Yes, yes, I see your point, Anjali, but perhaps you should let the two of them work it out for themselves?” 

     Anjali followed her gaze to Miguel, who had successfully managed to swap his partner with X. His face lit up when she was in his arms once again and though she pretended to be irritated by his enthusiasm, it was obvious the way her lips curled at the ends in amusement. Anjali pursed her lips in thought. 

     “Hmm, perhaps,” she relented finally.

     Miguel grinned as his arm came around X, pulling her to him so they continued the dance together. He hadn't realised how soft she was until tonight; until he'd danced with her properly for the first time and then spent the rest of the night trying to fit his arms around his other partners in the same way they sank into her curves so perfectly. “My darling Miss X, how wonderful it is to bump into you again like this!”

     X raised an eyebrow at him, not buying his exaggeratedly surprised tone in the least. “Yes, but how much more wonderful would it have been were it to have happened entirely by chance?”

     He took a tiny step closer to her, causing his hand to slide down her back just a little. “Even chance needs a little encouragement sometimes, cariño.”

     X wrinkled her nose at the term. She'd asked him what it meant after he'd called her that a few times already and her curiosity had quickly turned to horror when he'd revealed that it was the Spanish term for ‘sweetheart’. She hadn't been able to decide which was worse: calling her ‘sweetheart’ or calling her ‘princess’. It didn't seem to matter, however, considering how he'd continue to address her in such a manner despite her numerous protests.

     She always looked like a little bunny whenever she wrinkled her nose like that, too cute for anyone to take her anger seriously. Perhaps he'd call her that from now on: conejita. He wondered how she'd react once he started using it on her. He liked how she'd always march up to him with that cute little glare on her face, trying so hard to make herself seem threatening even though the top of her head barely grazed the bottom of his chin. He continued to smile at her and she eventually huffed and pulled her gaze away from his.

     “Yes, well, I doubt I am so entertaining as to have you chasing after me the entire evening, my lord,” X sniffed, letting him know that she remained unamused by his insistence to shower her with such inappropriate terms of affection. 

     “Please, querida,” Miguel dismissed her concerns easily, “you do not give yourself enough credit.” 

     She gave a little snicker at his response, her amusement drowning out her annoyance at hearing yet another term of endearment fall so easily from his lips. And, to his surprise, he found that he rather liked seeing that smile on her face now; he hadn't before, when she'd shower that look upon his brother who had never done anything of note to deserve it. But when she turned it on him? He inched his hand just a little lower down her back, enough for him to shuffle the tiniest bit forward so he could tower over her, making her seem that much smaller before him. 

     “I have to be honest with you, Miguel, I never thought of you being so graceful on your feet,” X admitted, her hand sliding higher up his shoulder of its own volition. 

     “So you've thought of me?” he replied immediately, his thumb moving along her back in slow, gentle strokes. 

     X rolled her eyes, dismissing her sudden awareness of the heat that radiated off his large form. “Only with respect to how irritatingly quick you are with your wit.”

     His hand dropped a little lower down her back and he leaned a little closer to her. “Coming from you, little scholar, that is a grand compliment.”

     Her heart thumped in her chest and her fingers crawled higher up his shoulder, the tips brushing the side of his neck now as her body adjusted itself to settle more comfortably in his arms. “You say that, and yet you render me speechless, my lord.”

     His hand moved to rest on her hips, his fingers fitting so perfectly into the curve of her waist. 

     “I render you speechless, querida?” he murmured softly, his voice low and thick as he gazed intently down at her. “How do I render you speechless?”

     He was so close now that she could see that his eyes weren't a dark brown, but actually more of a copper colour, hints of red and gold swirling around in his irises as he looked at her. Her eyes travelled down to his cupid’s bow, where the faint line of a scar remained; a reminder of the abuse he'd suffered at the hands of his cruel stepfather. Her heart squeezed at the sight and she reached up to brush her thumb across his lips, instinctively wanting to soothe his troubles. He let out a soft gasp as his breath caught in his throat, then bent over, his eyelids fluttering shut as he closed the distance between them. And that was when she remembered where they were - and who they were. “Don't … fall in love with me, Miguel.” 

     He froze, his lips just centimetres from hers, his eyelids still heavy as he gazed at her. They were so close that he could practically taste her, his mouth watering in anticipation of having her soft and rosy lips pressed against his. But she looked up at him with a mix of fear and confusion and he found himself sucking in a breath and curling his fingers against her back as he fought to pull himself away from her. Finally, he stepped back, releasing his hold on her entirely, and the two of them shifted in position awkwardly as they tried to figure out what to say to one another. 

     “Um,” X began, the first to break the silence, “thank you. For the … For your time. Tonight. I … I shall see you tomorrow? Miguel?”

     She looked up at him with wide eyes, her luscious pink lips pursed in question as she waited for his response. He swallowed hard as his gaze fixed on her mouth, then forced himself to take another small step away from her. Miguel pulled at the collar of his shirt and nodded in agreement before holding a hand out to her. 

     “Yes,” he confirmed softly. “Until tomorrow, my lady.” He bent over when she placed her fingers in his palm and brushed his lips across her knuckles. Their eyes remained fixed on one another's as he straightened and gave her hand a little squeeze. And then he stepped back, and the air around her suddenly turned cold as he pulled his warmth away with him. She nodded her head and gave a small curtsy before turning around and walking away from him.

[geralt-of-baevia]

Call It What You Want: Chapter Five

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine

pairing: nooutbreak!joel x f!ofc (Violet Fletcher)

rating: explicit, MDNI 18+

word count: 3.1k

summary: Seeking solace from a painful breakup, Violet relocates to a tranquil town, purchasing a neglected house to renovate. In her new neighborhood, she befriends Harlow, who introduces her to Joel, a gruff and seasoned contractor with a heart of gold. Despite Joel's initial grumpiness, Violet finds herself drawn to his expertise and hidden kindness.

As Violet immerses herself in home renovations alongside Joel, their dynamic begins to shift, with Joel unexpectedly opening himself up to the possibility of love. Their budding relationship faces challenges as shadows from their pasts emerge, testing their newfound connection.

warnings/tags: hints at a daddy kink, groping, dry humping, grinding, etc.

a/n: alright, something FINALLY happens! yay! and oooo drama is staaaarting. i love it.

In the first week of our deal Joel and I were both very busy. I had made french dip, beef stroganoff and so many breakfasts and pastries. All while he had patched my deck, put up a new shower curtain, fixed part of my roof and fixed the air conditioning with his brother Tommy’s help. 

There was constant commotion at the house, but it was something I thrived on. It was nice to have something do do every day. To have a reason to get up and bake. I hadn’t done much of that since I had sold the bakery six months before. I didn’t realize how much I had missed it.  

I learned that breakfast was Joel’s favorite meal very quickly. Since we were both early birds, most mornings I had coffee and food ready to go when he got to the house. Friday morning I decided to make my favorite; biscuits and gravy. When Joel came through the kitchen door, I was just pulling the biscuits out of the oven.

“It smells amazin’ in here,” he said, setting his toolbelt down next to the door in a thud. “Whatcha making?”

“Biscuits and gravy.”

“Mmm, my favorite.”

A silly grin spread across my face. “It’s mine, too.”

Joel came over and made our cups of coffee while I plated our food. We took our breakfasts and headed out to the sun porch to eat. Earlier in the week Joel moved a couch and coffee table into the once empty room for us. It was such a nice place to sit and look outside and enjoy company. I loved our little routine.

“How is your arm feeling this morning?” he asked before shoveling a bite of food into his mouth. I could sense something was up with Joel by his body language, but I couldn’t tell if I was making it up or not. 

“It’s getting better. I’ve been doing my exercises and stretches that the doctor recommended. And I haven’t had to take a pain pill in at least three days,” I told him proudly. My forehead was healing nicely, too, it only needing a bandaid over the stitches.

“Well that’s very good to hear.”

As we ate our meals in silence, I could sense something was definitely making Joel apprehensive. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” I asked through a bite. 

“Hmm?” he asked, turning to face me. It was like I had snapped him back to reality. 

“Is everything okay, Joel? You’ve been acting kinda odd since we sat down to eat,” I explained. He sighed in response. 

“Everythin’s fine,” he stated. I cocked an eyebrow at him. “I’ve just been meanin’ to ask you somethin’ since yesterday, but I couldn’t get the nerve up to last night. So I told myself this mornin’ on the way here that I was gonna ask ya.”

My heart began pattering in my chest.

“Well, just ask me then.”

“Um, I have a buddy from the school I work at that’s getting married this weekend,” he started, “and I was wondering if you’d like to go with me?”

I gave him a coy smile. “Like as your date?”

“Yes, as my date,” he said, nudging his shoulder into mine. 

“How fancy are we talking?”

He paused. “...is that a yes, then?” 

I giggled. “Yes, I’ll go with you.”

He beamed at me, and his face softened with relief. It was adorable. 

“So, how fancy?” I asked again, “Like, do I get to see you in a tux or something?”

“No, not that fancy. But it’ll definitely be a dres nice for the occasion type of wedding.”

“When is it?” I asked before taking a drink of my coffee. 

“It’s tomorrow at 11am in the town over. I’d pick you up around 10:15. Is that okay?” he asked. 

I nodded. “That sounds great.”

The next morning I rushed around trying to get ready. I had decided to keep my hair and make up simple, but I was still nervous. Thankfully Harlow was coming as well, and Joel’s brother Tommy as her date. 

I looked myself over in the mirror, fiddling with my hair and smoothing my light pink dress over my thighs. I hadn’t been to a wedding in a long time. The next one was supposed to be my own, but that had obviously changed. 

At almost 10:15 on the dot, I heard Joel’s familiar knock at my door. After looking myself over once more, I ran downstairs. I opened the door, it revealing Joel looking as handsome as ever. He had on a green plaid shrit with his sleeves rolled up, showing off his forearms, a pair of nice jeans and boots. His curly salt and pepper hair was combed back, and his facial hair freshly tidied. 

“You look so handsome,” I told him, the words falling out of my mouth before I could stop them. His face lit up, his eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“Um, well thank you,” he said timidly, his bashfulness coming out. “You look gorgeous.”

My cheeks grew hot and my eyes met the ground. 

“Thank you,” I told him, chewing nervously at my bottom lip, “It’s not too much?”

He shook his head, his brow knitting together. “Not at all. Are you ready to go?” 

“Yes, let me grab my bag.”

I grabbed my purse and my shoes and locked up the house. Joel and I got into his truck and pulled out of the driveway, off in the direction of the wedding. I threw my shoes and purse on the floor before turning in my seat to face him. I rested my back against the door and pulled my feet up to rest on the space between us, hugging my knees. 

“You comfortable?” he asked sarcastically. I pushed his thigh with my foot. “Hey! That’s my driving foot.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, dad.” 

His eyes snapped over to me at my comment, his eyes stern. It was a look that made the space between my thighs surge with heat. 

“So um,” I started, shifting in my seat a little, “How long have you known the couple getting married?” 

“I’ve known Bill and Frank for at least 20 years. We first met through an old friend,” he told me, taking his eyes off the road occasionally to look at me while he spoke. I nodded. I could tell there was apprehension in his voice. 

“...and?” I asked, knowing he had more to say. 

“...and they’re getting married because Frank is sick and they want to get married before he passes away,” he concluded. My heart dropped into my stomach. It was so bittersweet. 

“That’s - heartbreaking,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I heard him sniff, so I learned forward and put a comforting hand on his knee. “But it’ll also be beautiful.”

He looked over and me and gave me a have smile, his eyes brimming with tears. I gave his knee a squeeze before he took it in his own. He brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. I smiled. 

“Thank you for comin’ with me.”

“Of course.”

The wedding was absolutely beautiful. It wasn’t anything spectacular or over the top. Just a simple wedding in the backyard of Bill and Frank’s beautiful house. There was maybe only about 30 of us there in total, and not one of us had a dry eye by the end of it. I had packed tissues in my bag and I had never been so thankful I had done so. 

After the ceremony everyone mingled and ate finger food while Frank rested for awhile. I stood in a corner of the garden with Joel, his brother Tommy, Harlow and their friend Ellie, one of Harlow’s students. She had practically adopted Ellie, and hence so did Joel and Tommy. They were this little blended family that I couldn’t help but admire. 

“So, Violet?” Harlow started, pointing an accusing finger at me, “Joel told me the other day that you used to have a full ass bakery?”

“Mmhmm,” I said with a nod, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. I didn’t really want it getting out, but I also didn’t tell Joel not to say something. I couldn’t get upset at him. 

“Girl, I have known you for almost four months and you’ve never said anything about it to me? That’s a big deal!” she stated. I shrugged. 

“It just wasn’t a big deal to me at the time to talk about,” I said. Tommy smacked Harlow in the arm. 

“Did you ever think Harles that maybe she didn’t want to talk about it then?” he asked her, attitude dripping all over his words. She rolled her eyes. 

Harlow had been weird to me the entire time at the wedding, and now she was calling me out about something silly like this? I didn’t know what was up, but I didn’t want to worry about that right now. I just wanted to enjoy the wedding with Joel. Joel turned to me, blatantly ignoring the drama from his brother and Harlow. 

“Do you wanna go get a beer with me?” he asked. 

“Sure,” I said, giving Harlow a side glance. He slipped his arm around my middle and led me away from the group and over to the house. 

“Is it just me or is Harlow bein’ weird?” he asked, still looking ahead. I glanced up at him and sighed. 

“No, she’s being weird,” I confirmed. We went into the kitchen and Joel grabbed us each a beer from the large cooler by the sink. He opened both of them on the counter before handing me mine nonchalantly. 

“Did-did you just open those on the edge of the counter?” I asked, my jaw a little slack. He smirked at me as he took a swig from his beer and shrugged. 

“Maybe I did,” he said with a quick wink. The butterflies in my stomach awoke. 

Before either of us could say anymore, Bill wheeled Frank into the kitchen from the living room. Frank was looking much more rested than he had after the ceremony. 

“How ya feelin’, buddy?” Joel asked Frank. 

“Much better, thank you,” he said with a kind smile. He turned his eyes to me. “I didn’t get to meet you before the wedding. I’m Frank.”

He held a hand out to me and I closed the distance between us to shake it. 

“It’s very nice to meet you, I’m Violet,” I told him. His smiled widened. 

“She’s Harlow’s neighbor,” Joel explained, “Her house is the one I’ve been working on.”

“Oh, so you’re the one who made those croissants then, aren’t you?” Frank questioned. He glanced at Joel with a knowing look, their eyes meeting. Joel blushed, coughing to mask the embarrassment. 

“Yes I was. Did you like them?” I asked. Frank scoffed, looking back at Bill with a sarcastic look. 

“Tell her Bill, did we like them?” 

Bill cracked a small smile on his stoic face. “Violet, those were some of the best damn croissants we’ve ever had.” Frank turned back to me.

“Is there any way I could persuade you to make more for us?” he asked, rubbing his hands together excitedly. I giggled. 

“Absolutely. You can consider them a wedding present,” I told him. 

“We look forward to it,” he said, “but if you’ll excuse us we have more guests to thank for coming.”

“Of course you two,” Joel said. Frank took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. 

“It was very nice to meet you, Violet,” he said while making unwavering eye contact with me. His eyes were so kind, and his smile one of the most genuine I’d ever seen. It broke my heart that he wasn’t going to be around much longer. 

“You too, Frank,” I said, trying to push down my somber thoughts. 

As the afternoon continued on, all of the guests wound down and Bill and Frank did some usual wedding traditions. They cut the cake together, folks gave toasts, and finally they had their first dance. Yet again there was not a dry eye in the house as Joel and Tommy helped get Frank to his feet, aiding him in having his first dance with his new husband eye to eye. I would never hear the song ‘That’s How Strong My Love Is’ by Otis Redding the same way again. 

After their dance, Joel came back and sat next to me as others joined on the cement patio to dance. 

“Hi you,” I said as he wrapped an arm around me, resting it on the back of my chair. He was a little out of breath and rubbed one of his knees with his free hand, muttering about it under his breathe. I giggled. “That was very sweet of you, you old man.”

He gave me another stern glance, but couldn’t hold it for long, cracking a small smile. “Yeah, yeah, thanks.”

We sat together and listened to the music, watching people dance and interact. Joel hummed along with each of the songs, tapping to the beat on my shoulder. I couldn’t help but want to melt back into him and feel the vibrations of the humming in his chest. While I was lost in my thoughts, the song changed. I didn’t notice until Joel got to his feet and held a hand out to me. 

“Would you like to dance?” he asked. I nodded, realizing the song was The Mamas & the Papas’ ‘Dream A Little Dream Of Me.’

He helped pull me to my feet and then led me over to the patio. I turned around to face him and he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling my body close to his. He took my right hand in his, resting it on his chest before putting his hand over mine. I interlaced our fingers as I wrapped my free hand around his neck. He looked down at our entwined hands and smiled. As he began to sway us back and forth, I rested my head against his chest. 

I felt him let out of sigh of contentment, pulling me closer to him even still. His fingers dug into my side, like he couldn’t get me close enough. I pulled my head away from his chest to look up at him, my green eyes meeting his deep, dark brown ones. He rested his forehead against mine, slipping his other hand down around my waist. I reached up and linked my hands behind his neck; neither of us breaking eye contact. 

When the song was over, it felt much too soon. Without saying a word, Joel broke apart from me and immediately began tugging on my hand, leading me somewhere away from the patio. I followed as he led me to the side of the house, his footsteps impatient. Before I was able to ask him where he was taking me, he turned me around and pinned me to the wall with his hips. 

Our eyes met again as I looked up at him. I watched as his gaze flashed down to my mouth and back to my eyes. I nodded my head ever so slightly, giving him permission to do what I know he wanted to do. My heart began pounding as his hands cupped my face, my breaths shallow. 

 Joel closed the gap between us and crashed his lips against mine. My chest felt like it was going to burst at the seams. I grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, trying to pull him closer to me as his fingers twisted in my hair. His hands left my face, exploring my body as he deepened the kiss. I gasped for air as his lips trailed down my jaw and neckline, his mustache prickling my skin along the way. 

I grabbed my arms around his neck as he began hiking up my dress. Heat pooled between my legs as he reached his hands under my thighs and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his as he pinned me to the wall again, this time grinding against my center. He moaned against my neck, and I could feel him hardening underneath his jeans each time he dipped his hips into me. My head rested back against the siding as he kissed and bit at my neck greedily. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” 

We both jumped so hard I almost fell out of Joel’s arms and to the ground. We whipped our heads around to see Harlow standing by the corner of the house, her mouth agape. Joel set me down and helped me with my strap as I pulled my dress back down over my thighs. 

“Harles, listen-”

“Don’t Harles me, Joel. I don’t want to hear it from you,” she said, pointing a drunken finger at him. She turned her attention to me, her eyes narrowing at me. 

“I can’t fucking believe, you,” she said, pausing before the word ‘you’ for emphasis. 

“What the hell are you talkin’ about?” Joel asked, his tone serious and stern. 

“When I introduced you guys I was trying to be helpful to you both, not have you go behind my back Violet and fuck him,” she stated flippantly, “and even here? At Frank and Bill’s wedding of all places? You two just had to sneak off like goddamn hormonal teenagers?”

“Harlow, we’re not-”

“Save it, Violet. I saw you come home from staying the night at his place in his clothes,” she accused, scorn in her tone. 

“Harlow, this is none of your goddamn business, none,” Joel stated firmly, taking a step between me and Harlow. 

“It is my business, Joel. You have been my goddamn older brother since Lucas died. I have seen every woman who has used you in more ways than one, and you always get hurt,” she spat at him, “I just never would have thought that you would be one of those girls, Violet. I’m done here.”

She turned on her heel and left us standing there, dishelved and gobsmacked. Joel started to follow after her, but I grabbed his arm to stop him. 

“Joel, don’t. She’s drunk and needs to cool off.”

He nodded in agreement, his chest rising and falling rapidly with his breath. I reached down and grabbed his hand and giving it a squeeze. We went back to the party in silence, and I tried to avoid looking in Harlow’s general direction. The knot in my stomach only got bigger as the afternoon went on. 

Once the reception was finally wrapping up, Joel and I said our goodbyes to Bill and Frank. After we got in the car we sat in silence, my brain wracking over what Harlow had said. 

“Joel?”

“Hmm?”

“What did Harlow mean by other girls using you?”

He sighed a knowing sigh. 

“That’s a story for another day.”

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: “Cake the Cat”/“Prismo the Wishmaster” (Fionna & Cake, Eps. 3-4)

I wish I had the strength to stay up until the exact moment these episodes are released, hurriedly consume them in a haze while writing down my thoughts, and post my review before the sun has a chance to come up. But alas, as an old man—i.e., a 31-year old—I am not quite as strong as I used to be. (Remember dear friends: Eram quod es; eris quod sum!)

In other words, please excuse me if my reviews take a day or two to post! I have to watch 'em after I get home from work!

Airdate: September 7, 2023

Story by: Anthony Burch, Adam Muto, Hanna K. Nyström, Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang

Storyboarded by: Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Jacob Winkler, Haewon Lee, Nicole Rodriguez

Directed by: Ryann Shannon (supervising), Hans Tseng (art)

Like the title card I have included here, the plot of "Cake the Cat" is relatively straightforward: After finding herself in Ooo (and gaining speaking abilities thanks to a universal translator), Cake explores the world around her. Along the way, she befriends Squirrel (from season five's "Up a Tree") and accidentally destroys an outdoor market. Meanwhile, in her own world, Fionna tries desperately to find her missing pet. But after Simon tries once again to summon GOLB, Fionna suddenly finds herself transported to Ooo, where she reunites with Cake.

"Cake the Cat" might not be the deepest episode from the "Adventure Time Extended Universe" (hmm, maybe the "ATEU"?), but what it lacks in depth, it makes up for with humor. In particular, the episode manages to get considerable mileage out of Cake just acting like a normal (albeit talking) cat: she scratches people, tears things up, snatches food away, and very nearly massacres a small woodland critter, etc. As someone who adores cats and has long put up with their, shall we say, bullshit, these scenes were right on the money. Cake might indeed mean well, but she is still a cat, and cats get into all sorts of hijinks (that's part of the reason why I love them).

"This episode, out of the four that have aired so far, feels the most like "old school" Adventure Time, largely due to the allusions it makes to older episodes: For instance, one subplot in "Cake the Cat" sees the titular character scratch the dickens out of the insane "Tree Gang" from season five's "Up a Tree." (In fact, one could even make a compelling argument that the first half of this episode is basically just a sequel to "Up a Tree"!) Cake's market shenanigans and the ire they raise with the forest folk also echo the events of season two's "Storytelling" (in which Finn makes a gaggle of forest critters' lives hell in a half-baked attempt to find a good story). Like its season two predecessor, "Cake the Cat" heavily relies on the main character's obliviousness, which often leads to some great bits of dark humor (e.g., the shredded pillow man, who, while 'bleeding out' feathers, wheezes, "I… clapped for you!"). But despite these similarities, "Cake the Cat" has enough flourishes to make it its own thing, thereby preventing it from feeling like a tired retread."

One such "flourish" is the heavy focus on Roz Ryan. Most of the past Fionna and Cake episodes have underutilized Cake, treating her as little more than a sassy one-liner machine. "Cake the Cat," on the other hand, not only makes use of Ryan's acting skills, but it also lets her flex her musical prowess by having her sing the song "Cake on The Loose." Ultimately, the decision to not relegate Cake to a secondary role allows for some much-needed character development. Her interactions with Squirrel, for instance, let us know that she's a survivalist who will not tolerate bullies. We also learn that Cake sees Fionna less as a family member and more as a bossy (albeit beloved) roommate. True, these are small glimpses into an established character, but because Cake has long been underdeveloped, they help to flesh out her character, allowing her to come into her own. This is a trend that the following episode will continue…

Airdate: September 7, 2023

Story by: Anthony Burch, Adam Muto, Hanna K. Nyström, Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang

Storyboarded by: Iggy Craig, Graham Falk, Jim Campbell, Lucyola Langi

Directed by: Steve Wolfhard (supervising), Hans Tseng (art)

Like "Simon Petrikov" before it, "Prismo the Wishmaster" is a darker installment that subverts the levity that preceded it.

And I'm OK with that!

The episode begins with Prismo beaming up Fionna, Cake, and Simon and revealing to them the truth behind the whole "Fionna and Cake" thing: This "fan fiction" is actually a fictional universe of his own creation. Tired of constantly bringing other people's realities to life, Prismo decided to create a universe of his own. There was just a tiny problem: Doing so violated the cosmological rules that Prismo must follow as the god of wishes. He thus decided to hide the "Fionna and Cake" world in the mind of Ice King—out of sight, out of mind (literally). Unfortunately, GOLB's resetting of the crown threw a wrench into these plans, resulting in his "unauthorized crossover" being detected. This violation consequently summoned Scarab, an antagonistic "god auditor" who yearns for Prismo's job as wishmaster. The episode concludes with Prismo zapping Fionna, Cake, and Simon to Farmworld seconds before Scarab can capture them.

Before talking about the meat of the episode, let me briefly talk about the [Psychic Tandem War] Elephant in the [Time] Room: Prismo's voice. In the initial series, as I am sure many of you are aware, Prismo was voiced by Kumail Nanjiani, a talented comedian perhaps best known for his role in the HBO series Silicon Valley. There was something about Nanjiani's voice that really clicked with the Prismo character—his laid back, somewhat monotonous way of speaking just really fits with Prismo's "chill deity" thing.. Alas, Nanjiani does not reprise his role in "Prismo the Wishmaster" (instead, the character is voiced by Sean Rohani). What? you might be asking, Was there some drama? Did the actor have a falling-out with the crew? No. The answer is far, far more infuriating: Nanjiani's reps apparently declined to tell the very actor they were working for that the Adventure Time folks had wanted him back! Nanjiani has often said that Prismo is one of his favorite characters that he has had the opportunity to play, and so I can only imagine how crestfallen and mad he probably was when all of this came to light. Absolutely nothing against Mr. Rohani, but considering that the voice actor he replaced never wanted to be replaced, I hope that the studio can let Nanjiani overdub Prismo's lines for future streams of the episode. (Ya know, to fix the time line and all that jazz.)

Now, back to our review! Just as "Cake the Cat" recalls the vibes of older episodes, "Prismo the Wishmaster" also echoes with the past, feeling in many ways like a spiritual cousin to season six's "Is That You?" (the masterful episode, solely storyboarded by Jesse Moynihan, that skillfully undid Prismo's death in a way that felt neither cheap nor forced). The similarities between "Prismo the Wishmaster" and "Is That You?" are largely due to their setting (both episodes take place almost entirety in Prismo's time cube), and their shared interest in what I guess you could call "character duplication." But just like "Cake the Cat," this episode is fun and familiar, while still managing to be new and exciting.

I particularly enjoyed the episode's deepening of the already complex cosmology of the Oooniverse. Back in 2020, in the first edition of "Exploring the Land of Ooo," I speculated that the world in which Finn and Jake live owes much to the dualistic cosmology of Gnosticism, specifically the religious movement known as Manichaeism. This approach to reality views the world as fundamentally divided in two. On one side, there is the "Father of Greatness" (roughly equivalent to the Judeo-Christian idea of "God," who creates and orders reality), and on the other side, there is the "King of Darkness" (roughly equivalent to "the Devil," who embodies darkness and death). Adventure Time seems to draw inspiration from this conceptual split, with GOLB being the Oooish version of the "King of Darkness," who revels in chaos and destruction, and "Prismo's Boss" being akin to the "Father of Greatness," who is interested in order and structure. Additionally, Scarab and the various gods who govern the universe remind me of the Gnostic concept of archons (entities that rule over the day-to-day affairs of the physical cosmos), but perhaps that's a topic for another day...

Speaking of Scarab, going into Fionna and Cake, I was particularly curious how the show was going to one-up the Lich. His story arc was nicely capped off in "Together Again," and so I appreciate the producers' decision to create a new villain for this series. As someone who often deals with inane bureaucracy, I quite like the idea of a "god auditor," and Kayleigh McKee does a great job infusing Scarab with a dignified sort of malevolence. Scarab feels textbook lawful evil to me, but unlike a lot of the other baddies in the Oooniverse who are doin' it up the only way they know how, Scarab does not feel affable in any way. He's a cold, sterile regulator, akin to the T-1000 from Terminator 2: Judgment Day, who is interested in only one thing: eliminating his targets. In a word, he feels like a legitimate threat, and that's exciting!

Another major triumph of "Prismo the Wishmaster" is that it fully justifies why this entire miniseries is happening. One of my biggest worries going into this string of episodes was that, while fun, it would not do a good job of legitimizing its own existence. This was largely due to my own biases. After all, I've always enjoyed Fionna and Cake, but I have never adored their episodes. In my mind, they were fun excursions; nothing more, nothing less. However, "Prismo the Wishmaster" expertly grounds their existence in the Ooo that we know, demonstrating that the Fionna and Cake series is not a dull victory lap, nor is it a masturbatory exercise in excess. Instead, it is a bona fide extension of Adventure Time's mythology. Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat are now just as "real" as Finn and Jake ever were. Instead of being simple parodies, they now have a certain depth to them.

Simply put, they matter.

Final “Cake the Cat” Grade: B+

Final “Prismo the Wishmaster” Grade: A

[writer-darling]

Are You Ever Dreaming of Me?

Chapter 1: Bad Blood

I NEVER USE Y/N OR ANYTHING LIKE IT THANK YOU SO MUCH :)

Rating: T - TEENS ((for now, but there WILL BE explicit stuff later sooo (18+ MINORS DNI)

Pairing: Ezra (Prospect, 2018) x F!Reader

Warnings: Good old enemies-to-lovers trope. age gap (10 years). Nothing super descriptive for Reader but they are described as having hair. Tension, ofc, especially sexual tension out the wahzoo. Adult language. Mentions of food and eating but nothing descriptive. Alotta feelings and things of that nature. Banter. Fighting. Insults, Flirting. It’s E-to-L, you know where this is going. Smoking (herbal cigarettes). A teensy bit of man-handling. Feral Ezra (he’s about at 68.9% in this chapter). If there are any that I missed, please inbox me to let me know and I will add them in :)

Word Count: 4k

Summary!: As I said in the warnings: It’s Enemies to Lovers, y’all. Reader’s joined Ezra’s crew on some forsaken planet as a prospector rookie fresh out of the academy, while he’s a seasoned veteran. She hates him, he hates her. And chaos ensues.

A/N: REWRITTEN & REFORMATTED ON: 12/24/23

******

“Remember when you tried to write me off? (Haha)

Remember when you thought I'd take a loss?”

“If we hold that equivalent exchange persists in this space then we must give something of ourselves in order to build something new, in order to purge the bowels of this fecund wood for treasures made our own. Some of us have the proclivity for greatness while most do not. And those ambitious masses are the sacrifice this forest demands so that the true diviners can stand atop the mountain of corpses and claim their riches.”

You roll your eyes at the prospector’s monologuing, even as the other prospectors on your crew talk with him animatedly in agreement with his words. This is the second time today Ezra’s simple talking has pissed you off. The first was in the dining tent during breakfast when he went on a whole spiel about how “mercoy berries are better than mugwort root for sedation because they are 20 times more potent when digested with a shot of cider due to a chemical compound mixture present in both!” for a whole 15 minutes. 

You two didn’t get along when he talked - which was basically every minute of the day - and even in his very rare moments of silence he managed to tick you off one way or another. Still, there was something truly remarkable about the way he spoke. An itch that constantly made you want to shove a fistful of dirt down his throat.

“What is it, rookie? Are you afraid of the work it will take? The risk that it will fail?” He asks, his voice dripping with disdain as he calls you a rookie. He knew your name, just as you knew his, but neither of you referred to each other directly other than ‘vet’ and ‘rookie’, both of those terms full of contempt.

You're no stranger to hard work - you grew up in a prospecting town, for Kevvasake - but it's just something about the way he speaks to you that gets under your skin. Like he thinks he can talk you around to doing what he wants. Like you're just some cog in his machine.

 Not to mention the fact that he’s just an overall cocky bastard. You scoff at him and meet his eyes with a narrowed gaze of your own. But you don’t let this back-and-forth make you stop as you carefully extract another gem from its sack, then carefully place it in the case along with your other earnings of the morning.

“How about you quit yammering and get back to work, vet?” You say with a hard stare as you continue working, prompting the other men around to refocus on the task at hand. Ezra glares back at you, his lips pressed together into an angry line.

“You will speak to your elders with the respect they deserve.” He speaks in a low tone of warning, his hand balling into a fist at his side.

“Hmm, you’re only - what - about 30 years my senior based on looks, and we’re the same rank so no, I don’t think I will.” He’s clearly not 30 years older than you, probably more like 10, but you can tell it irritates him when you directly call him ‘old.’

“Respect does not come with rank, and do not act otherwise,” He spits back. “I have learned more about this world than you will ever even see, rook. You are just an entitled child and your attitude will be the downfall of this operation. That I promise you.” He retorts back and you notice the other men taking interest in your exchange. You look at them, then at him, stopping your work fully now and crossing your arms over your chest, spurred on by both his response and the attention of the other workers around you.

“Oh, I’m the ‘entitled one’?” You scoff again. “Not you who goes around speaking like he knows more than any of us, who acts like he’s better just because he has experience?” You ask, unafraid of calling him out. It was true after all; he constantly paraded around like he was superior to all of you, even those who were just as skilled as him.

Ezra stares you down for a long moment, the two of you locked in a battle of wills. You can almost see the gears turning in his head as he calculates his next move. He's never been the type to back down from a fight and you know it's only a matter of time before he says something that escalates things further. But then there’s a shift in his eyes as he takes a breath.

“Are you finished?” He asks in a deadly calm voice. You can see the anger in his eyes, and it makes you smirk as you drop your arms from their defensive stance.

“No, but I’ll save my comments for the sake of work.” You respond with a small smile that clearly doesn’t reach your eyes as you glare at him right after.

“Wise,” he replies, his voice dripping with contempt. He takes a deep breath and turns away from you before beginning to speak to one of your crewmates.

He avoids looking at you directly for the remainder of the shift, but you can feel his gaze on you as he watches you from the corner of his eye. You know there will be consequences for this later. You’re not afraid of him though. You two tend to get into these petty arguments all the time, so much so that it’s part of your routine now. Just like prospecting, it’s something you’re used to, something you know the ins and outs of. If he was really interested in killing you for these petty squabbles, he would’ve done it a long time ago. No real rivals would stand for even an ounce of disrespect out here, especially in front of the other crew members. It was a sign of weakness, seen as pathetic. Which tells you that he must either be really forgiving or really into this. You’re not quite sure what to make of either one of those conclusions.

What happens next seems to follow your typical pattern. It’s all a cycle now: you and Ezra fight, both of you get increasingly bitter, and eventually, you call a temporary truce to get the work done. Your pride can't handle backing down from a fight, and his can't take the shame of losing. It's a routine you both have fallen into from the very beginning.  

At the end of the day, you head to your tent only to drop off your earnings and get out of your suit. After a good shower, you feel refreshed and cool. This leaves you in just your black longjohns before you head straight to the giant dining tent, your mind hyper-fixated on your hunger as you watch the suns begin to set.

The tents are the only shelter you’ve got. There are 40 square-foot ones for each prospector, though those who are friends or companions share if they don't mind the lack of space or privacy. Those 15 structures are packed relatively close together in a semi-circle amongst the trees. Then, there’s the dining tent on the other side of camp, a 200 square feet structure where everyone can dine comfortably enough, again if a bit cramped. At the heart of the camp is the watchtower you all built to keep guard night after night, one or two prospectors taking shifts. Other than that, it’s all trees and bushes and foliage. No buildings or manmade structures for yards, though you know there’s a system of caves a good 3 miles to the east.

Thankfully, though, none of it is a huge issue. This planet is relatively habitable, at least compared to other planets you’ve visited and studied. You all can actually roam around without the suits and helmets for a good while, though you still wear them out on the digs as protection against the elements and as armor against potential danger. 

Your eyes scan the dining tent as you enter. You see a total of 23 prospectors sitting together in small clusters throughout the space, exchanging stories and laughs. Some of them acknowledge your entrance with a smile or a nod your way, but most keep their attention on their conversations and their food. You’re civil with the men, and you know they mostly respect you now that you've proven yourself capable as a prospector, but you’ve made sure not to ‘make friends’, something relatively easy for you to do out here. You’re far older than most rookies, as most are between the ages of 20 to 25 fresh out of the Academy, so you know that gives some of them pause. But, they don’t need to know exactly what you know, given your advantages of growing up knowing the tricks of the trade.

You get into the serving line and grab your grub, piling plenty onto your tray before leaving the tent and sitting a few feet away, not wanting to go back to your own tent just yet. You’re about to eat when you spot Ezra stopping with his own tray a few yards farther away, also dressed down, though he’s in sweats and a t-shirt. His eyes meet yours and he smirks even as his eyes show clear resentment, nodding at you. You scowl and simply nod once, trying to direct your attention back to your meal. You both begin to eat precisely at the same time and even that small and organic coincidence irritates you.

All too soon, your eyes meet once more and there's just that same, hateful stare between you two. All still a part of your routine with him. You try to focus on your food, but the longer he stares, the more you feel your temper rising again. 

It’s been that way since you first joined their crew as a new rookie only four and a half months ago, so his request for you to respect him wasn’t completely unwarranted, even if it did bother you. He’s a skilled veteran, even when compared to you. If the crew’s talk is anything to go by, he had been advanced in his learning at the Academy, having graduated at just 18. And that just irritates you further. Because out here, that matters more than anything, and he’s treated with a certain superiority because of his skill level and experience by the other crew members. Aside from you, of course.

“What?” You snap at him as you eat, feeling hot under his stare, but you attribute that to your irritation.

“Oh, nothing. Just admirin’ the view, rookie,” he says plainly, his lips pursed into an insincere half-smile. He's trying to goad you into action again and he's doing a good job of hiding it. As the only woman on the crew, you're used to men making lewd comments. They're never as subtle as Ezra is though, and you can tell he's getting a kick out of ticking you off. You roll your eyes.

“How about you take a picture then, it’ll last longer?” You say, even as your cheeks go very slightly flustered at his words. Ezra breaks out into laughter, a deep and belly-shaking sound that you've never heard from him before. He wipes his eyes and takes a sip of his canteen, his laughter finally dying down. 

"That actually got a laugh out of me, not gonna lie," He confesses. "I'll have to remember that one." His demeanor is almost different. He's more relaxed, his shoulders unhunched. He doesn’t say anything else and you eventually go back to your food, even as he continues to watch you, eating his own food across from you, silently. You’ve noticed that in him. When you two are around the men, he takes on a more hostile, macho bravado but in these rare moments when you two are alone, he lets that fall away. It’s almost as frustrating as the man himself.

You’re determined not to snap at him again. So you ignore him instead, watching the suns leave their final rays behind as they disappear into the horizon line to the west. But now you’re finishing up and you glance at him. The two of you exchange another long look, but this time it's not as hostile. It’s actually kind of… peaceful. Then you remember your place quickly and glare at him, scoffing under your breath.

"Ya know, you're not as bad as I give ya credit for, rook," Ezra says after a few more moments of silence. He pushes his plate to the side and pulls an herbal cigarette from the breast pocket of his shirt. You watch him with a puzzled look. Where in Kevva’s name did he get contraband from? You know your boss considers him a second-in-command, but would he really let him get away with contraband out here? You want to ask him but he speaks again, "Don't tell the crew, but I think there's still a chance for us to be friends." His face is a stark contrast compared to the scowls and glares he's often shot you in the past. He gives you a wry half-smile as he lights his cigarette with the lighter on his multitool.

You bark out a laugh. “Like I’d ever be friends with you.” You respond with another glare

"See? This is why we don't get along. You're stubborn to a fault and you'll be the death of us all," Ezra gestures to you with the cigarette held between his index and middle fingers, shaking his head. He takes a drag from it and blows a thick cloud of smoke out towards the horizon. You don’t respond. After all, he’s partially right. You are stubborn, but you’re not ashamed of that fact. It’s how you got here, and you’re proud of it. His features become unreadable as he continues, 

"And yet... I still see somethin’ in you, despite your numerous flaws...” He adds, his expression suddenly pensive. He shrugs lightly with a small smile. “Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment." There’s a sudden shift when he says that last bit that makes you pause. His tone was almost… flirtatious? But it was incredibly subtle. You almost missed it. Still, it’s not enough to deter you. 

“Well, at least I’m not a prideful pompous ass who can’t get a grip on reality and blames others instead of his own ego on his lack of ‘friends’.” You retort and stand up to leave, leaving your food tray. Ezra looks taken aback by your statement at first, but he quickly recovers and stands to his feet as well, leaving his too. He takes another long drag from his cigarette before tossing it out onto the forest floor, crushing it under his boot. He starts to follow after you, saying something that you don't quite catch before he trails off into the distance. You're almost to your tent when you think you hear him mutter it again under his breath,

"Starflower..." You freeze. Your body pricks up at the name. You’ve heard it before but only once. It was a pet name you’ve heard used affectionately on the planet Ezra’s from. You turn slowly, your eyes narrowed again at him.

“What did you call me?” You ask. Ezra stops in his tracks and turns to face you. His hands are up, but only a little, as if to show you he’s not here to fight. His features are still relaxed, though there's a hint of something deeper, more serious behind his eyes.

"You heard me," he says calmly, taking a step towards you. "But if you need me to repeat it, I can." You narrow your eyes at him again and your own fingers brush your holster.

“Call me that again…” You start and take a step towards him, just one, in warning. “And you’ll lose your head, vet.” You say, your voice cold. A part of you isn’t entirely sure why you’re acting this way. You’ve been called way worse out here on expeditions. Other terms of endearment like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘princess’ from these other jagoffs don’t really bother you. But something about the way he says that… something about the way it rolls off of his tongue. It’s making your blood boil.

"Starflower..." Ezra repeats, taking another step towards you. He raises an eyebrow and gives you a cocky smile, daring you to do your worst. He reaches out and grabs your wrist, his grip impossibly firm but not enough to hurt you. He brings his face close to yours, close enough for you to feel his breath on your cheek. He speaks again. "Try me, rookie. I dare you." His voice is low and quiet.

You make a sound of surprise at his actions. Your eyes widen slightly as he leans in towards you and you don’t know how to feel at his sudden proximity. 

“Get your filthy hands off of me.” You warn.

“Make me." Ezra's voice is low. He brings his face even closer to yours, your lips only inches apart. His grasp on your wrist tightens only slightly as if he’s making it clear his intention is not to actually harm you. You can feel his hot breath on your cheek, his gaze unwavering. There’s a sudden shift in the air. And there’s something in his eyes that you notice, something you don’t think you’ve seen before. It’s an intensity in his gaze that you’re now positive you’ve never seen before. And for the first time since you’ve met him, you feel a slight flutter in your stomach as your eyes search his.

The silence between you two stretches on as neither one of you dares to move or speak or even breathe it seems. The longer he holds you like this, the longer you become aware of various things about him you had never bothered to notice before. Like the amber flecks in his deep brown eyes, the way his bottom lip is so much fuller than his top lip. The faded moon-shaped scar that curves down his cheek towards his jawline, just under his right eye. The way his facial hair has a heart-shaped patch on that same side of his jaw, right next to his chin. Things you’ve only noticed now that he’s here up close. You can also smell the herbal cigarette on his breath. A heady mix of juniper, lavender, and peppermint. You’re surprised that it’s not a totally unappealing smell. It’s actually… kind of nice.

You’re only partially aware of his eyes scanning your face as if doing the same to you. He now notices the exact color of your own eyes. The exact outline of your mouth, the furrow between your brows. His gaze seems to soften as he looks at you. 

And just as he seems to let his guard down, you move. 

You react fast, pushing him off of you, the suddenness and forcefulness with which you move causing him to release you, and he further moves back a couple of feet. You grab your thrower and aim it, panting. You’re not sure if it’s from the panic of earlier or his actions. Ezra steps back and holds his hands up in surrender, though his eyes remain locked onto yours. He seems strangely unconcerned about the fact that you're pointing a weapon at him. A slight grin plays at the corner of his lips and you swear he's enjoying this. You've seen him calm in tense situations before, but never quite like this. It almost seems like he's savoring the moment. He takes another slow step back, his hands still raised. He doesn't say anything, but his smile grows broader as he meets your gaze.

“This is your last warning, vet. Back. Off.” You say, your face red. Kevvasake, why can’t you stop thinking about what just happened? This is the clearest warning yet. You don’t actually want to hurt him, but you won’t hesitate if you have to.

Ezra remains silent, his eyes boring into yours as you keep your weapon trained on him. He takes a final step backward, his face still calm and relaxed. He shows you the back of his hands as if to say, "See? No weapons." But you know it's all an act, he's got multiple throwing knives concealed about his person, just like any good prospector should. He's enjoying the tension, he's living for it. The look in his eye is one of pure thrill. You would never say it out loud, but you feel the same. The tension, the thrill, the spontaneity of it all. It’s addicting. And you hate it. You scoff and holster your thrower. You know he’d never hurt you. You roll your eyes at him again. 

“Right.” Ezra nods in approval, the corner of his mouth curling just enough to show a hint of a playful smirk. A brief thought crosses your mind, a thought you know you shouldn't allow to take root, but that somehow manages to anyway. Why do you not hate him? He's arrogant, he's egotistical, he goes out of his way to be insufferably rude. And yet, you can't help but be drawn in by his charm and confidence. Why do you let him get to you? What is it about him that makes you want to come back? You feel a shiver go down your spine at that but don’t let it get to you.

“Are you done?” You ask, stealing his own line from earlier to once again call up that temporary truce between you two. Your voice is less hostile than it was moments ago, but still not anywhere near friendly.

“For now,” he says with a smirk. The way his voice holds the same playful tone as before makes your blood heat and your face go flush. He takes a step closer again, closing the distance between the two of you. His face is inches from yours, his eyes trained on yours as he reaches up one hand, hesitating. Your eyes zero in on his hand in mid-air, a mixture of conflicting emotions running through you. You can’t help but feel your heart flutter at the almost touch. His hand falls away and you suddenly become aware that your breath is now shallow. Did he want to touch you? An even more important question follows: did you want him to touch you? You shake it off, doing your best to ignore your racing heart. You step away from him, feeling suddenly breathless.

“Well, fine, good night, Ezra.” You say pointedly and quickly scan the area, wondering if anyone out here saw. However, you two are still thankfully alone. You turn to head into your tent. Ezra gives you one last smile before his features return to their customary scowl as he heads toward his tent. Once you make it inside, you wait a few moments with bated breath, as if he will come back. But the only remainder of him is the scent of juniper, lavender, and mint in the night air.

You toss and turn on your cot for several hours as you ponder what happened tonight. You've had your fair share of run-ins with the prospector, but none of them have ever ended with such an intensity of emotion. Something's different this time, you just don't know what it is quite yet.

Sudden realization strikes you like a bolt of lightning from the clear night sky.

You don't hate Ezra.

You like him.

Kevvasake.

******

Wake up, I had another idea when I was very sleep deprived! So, this is probably gonna be a series (don’t ask me how long, you all know I never plan ahead) BUT, I’ve got about 3 chapters written out already and I’ll probably update within the next week/week and a half. Let me know what you all think of this, I realize now this is my first time doing E-to-L and so I might totally suck at this haha. Anyway, that’s it, thanks a million, hope you all enjoyed, and see you in the next one!

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Read Chapter 2: Clean!

[billetwoes]

Too Serious! Billet Woes Part 3

Disclaimer: This is my first attempt at fanfic. Constructive criticism is always appreciated, rudeness is not.

Word Count: 4,255

Synopsis: It has been slightly over a week, and so far so good. Everything seems to run smoothly as expected, until Tomas decided to have a serious conversation with you.

*****************************

The next morning went on as normal. Breakfast consisted of a savoury breakfast crepe consisting of truffle oil scrambled eggs, spinach, mushrooms, leeks, and red peppers with hollandaise sauce (Yay to the Vitamix!) topped with cilantro. You made some potato wedges fried in beef tallow and seasoned it lightly with a Parmesan, truffle and black garlic seasoning.

“Hmm, by the way, I wanted to ask you first,” Tomas began, washing his food down with a swig of orange juice, “A friend of mine wanted to send me an important package. Would it be alright if I gave him your address?”

You furrowed your brows, as you are apprehensive to give out personal information.

“If you’re uncomfortable, I understand,” he went on further.

You sighed and then thought of a solution.

“You can give him my business address. It’s a UPS mailbox, so I can pick it up for you when it arrives. Plus, it’s safer,” you offered.

“Great!”

You gave him the details and were told that his friend would be sending something via same-day shipping.

Once breakfast was done, you did your routine clean up and making sure that the cats were well-fed. Once you let the kitties out of the workshop, their demeanor changed rapidly to happiness and started to roam around the house. You noticed that Bijoux had been slowly yet surely warming up to Tomas and was now allowing him to pet her.

Minou was not having it; she gave a jealous yowl and swatted at Bijoux violently. She hissed then began to circle and rub her body around Tomas’ booted legs. Bijoux huffed and then left for her favourite cat tree.

“No, no! Don’t do that! There’s plenty of pets to go around,” he chuckled, picking up Minou and chastising her gently while scratching her behind the ears, “I let you sleep with me already. Give your sister a chance.”

“He’s such a good cat dad,” you mused. It was a nice to see that both the girls have taken to your guest very well. In fact, you were missing the warm lump of Minou’s body between your legs, where she typically likes to sleep.

He then set her down, while she protested pitifully. He picked up the lunch bag and headed towards the door, “Shall we?”

You are starting to like driving at this time of the morning, as there was no traffic at all! Lord Liu Kang really did think this through and was grateful for the consideration of your lifestyle. Plus, you found your energy level to gradually pick up.

After you dropped off Tomas at the muster point, you decided to treat yourself to a Starbucks before heading back home to clean up some more, spend quality time with the girls, and work on more orders. You loaded the packages in a couple of tote bags and took them to the post office before heading to work. You checked your Etsy account and were pretty pleased that you will be getting a nice pay soon.

During work, you got a notification that the package had arrived. “That was fast!” You thought, amazed. The shipping cost must be awfully high.

When work ended, you bumped into a couple of colleagues on the way out.

“Hey there, girl! How was your day?” a well-dressed slender and tall man with short, curly brown hair in his early thirties greeted you with a hug.

“Hey Andrew! It went well. Uneventful, but boring is beautiful,” you replied cheerfully, “How was yours?”

“I love it when you say, “Boring is beautiful!” a tall Nigerian lady laughed. Her name is Alisha, who is level-headed, no-nonsense, but positive and funny with great fashion to boot. The two of you have been good friends since you started working where you work.

“Right? I have no complaints; nothing bad happened, so,” you responded just as cheerfully. “Are you going to the staff get together?”

“Oh, no, I’m leaving in a week, remember?” Andrew reminded, looking sad, “I’m moving to a different city.”

“Aww, that’s right! I’ll miss you, hun!” You hugged your colleague with a sad pouty face, “We wish you all the best!”

Andrew hugged you back firmly, then Alisha hugged Andrew.

“We need to go for dinner before you go!” Alisha said, “The three of us.”

“Yes! We should do that,” Andrew agreed, “Oooh! How about Uccelino?”

Your eyes widened along with your smile, “Yes!” You exclaimed, pointing a finger, not at him but to emphasize what he said, “Love that place!”

“Sounds great! Let’s keep in touch, k?” Andrew started to walk away, “Bye, ladies!”

“For sure! See ya!”

“Take care!”

“How was your day, Alisha? How was Madison’s performance?” You asked about her 5-year-old daughter.

“Oh, you know, she loves performing. She lights up every time she gets to sing. She was so excited to be a fairy and was showing off her dress to everyone,” Alisha shared happily, “She says she can’t wait for her next performance!”

She pulled out her phone to show you a few pictures of a cute girl in a yellow organza-tulle dress with a tiara holding a wand with a large star on top; she had the biggest smile and twinkling eyes. She then showed a video of her singing “When You Wish Upon A Star”.

You can’t help but coo because this was the cutest thing that you’ve seen ever!

“Aww, she’s so precious! She’s got such a beautiful voice!” And you meant it. Some children are gifted with beautiful voices, and she sounded like a miniature Marcedes from Glee, “I hope that she goes far, because, girl, she’s got it!”

“Thank you so much,” Alisha beamed, clearly touched, “I am proud of her.”

“You should be!” You were hit with this realization that these are the kinds of moments that the Earth Realm and Outworld Protectors were protecting, and you felt guilty for taking the days that have been passing your life for granted. You respect and appreciation for them have deepened.

You and Alisha continued to chat all the way to the parking lot.

“Anyways, I gotta pick up the kids. See you tomorrow, girl!” Alisha hugged you, and you’ve always felt good interacting with her.

You hugged her back and you exchanged good-byes.

You nearly forgot to go to the USP store to pick up the parcel and accidentally sideswiped someone in reaction to turning back to head in the opposite direction. You heard a loud series of horns at you.

“HEY, BITCH! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!!!” You heard a driver shout at you.

“I’m sorry!” You waved apologetically. Red-faced, your alertness returned in a flash while feeling yourself shrinking. Taking a few deep breaths, you calmed yourself down enough to stay focused on your way to your destination.

You entered the store to open your mailbox, but it was empty, which meant that it was a larger package. You walked over to the clerk and gave your box number. The clerk went to the back and produced a box for you, which you received. You thanked the clerk and headed back to the car. Once in, you inspected the box; it was a 4”x 4”x 4” made out to “Tomas Vrbada” from the US.

You let out a “Hmm,” raising your eyebrows before stating the car. Then you noticed the time. You were 20 minutes late from picking up Tomas! You cursed under your breath but the initial shock of a near miss followed by being cussed out by an angry driver was still fresh, so you took a moment to calm down. Once you were ready, you shifted your gear to drive.

When you arrived at Lisa’s friend’s place, his name is Kyle, you drove up to the driveway where you saw Tomas and another warrior sparring. He delivered two kicks, which his partner blocked.

Upon noticing you, he stopped what he was doing, picked up his mask and lunch bag, said his goodbye to his partner and walked towards you, sweating and smiling. His grey ninja uniform made him look formidable and intimidating, and you reminded yourself that this man was capable of killing someone. However, every time he was friendly and polite in behavior, it threw you off and had cognitive dissonance. You smiled and waved sheepishly.

“Oh, my god! I’m so sorry! I didn’t meant to make you wait!” You apologized profusely, looking shameful, “I had a difficult time on the road.”

“Don’t apologize! I kept myself occupied,” he said reassuringly, still slightly out of breath, “How was your day?”

“Well, other than nearly sideswiping someone, I’m alive,” you admitted sheepishly, “Totally my fault.”

“I’m sorry to hear that! Are you ok?” His expression was genuinely concerned, and it was reflected in his voice. Those eyes, though. So piercing!

You were touched by the concern he was showing and relaxed a little. “I am, thank you for the concern. I’m sorry again for being late!”

“You don’t need to apologize so much, Y/N. I’ve noticed that tendency in you.”

“I’m sorry,” *shit!* you did it again! You mentally beat you head on the steering wheel again and again.

He laughed, “But then it must be a Canadian thing, yes? So I’ve been told!”

Yet again, another save. He must have this sixth sense of you being embarrassed and verbally taking you out of it. Well, there’s a positive!

“Oh, I’ve picked up your package.” You reached to the back to get the box and handed it to him.

He received it gratefully, “Thank you for doing this for me. I wonder what he sent…” he muttered, inspecting the box and shaking it.

You kind of stared into space for god knows how long.

“Y/N…Y/N…hello?”

He waved his hand in front of your face to snap you out of your fog.

“Are we going home? I am starving and want to see what you will be cooking next!”  

“Oh, right! I’m sorry!” You shut your eyes tight, and he laughed even more. Smiling stiffly, you started the car, “Let’s go.”

You were grateful that you managed to bring the both of you home safely. As soon as you entered your apartment, you made a beeline to the coat rack to hang your purse and coat, then straight to the kitchen. Using whatever’s left of the shock in your system, you channelled that into preparing your meal. You vaguely heard Tomas go into the guest bathroom and a few minutes later you heard the shower.

Food time: Pressure Test! (skip if you’re not interested)

You took out ingredients and mentally started to plan on making your meal. You first pre-heated the toaster oven to 400 F, then took out the container of tomato basil bisque that you have pre-made during the weekend out of the freezer, which you threw into a medium sized pot to boil. You were grateful for having pre-made some soups and pre-portioned main courses for lazy days and for frantic days.

Next, you tackled the ceasar salad. You took out a bag of romaine lettuce to cut up, then soak in a bowlful of water and some vinegar to sit for a few minutes. You would have made the dressing yourself, but since you were ridiculously late coming home, you had to cheat. Luckily, you had THE BEST ceasar dressing from Costco!

Next, you heated some water for pasta and you chose spagettini as the pasta of choice. The boiling comes later.

While that was happening, you went to the fridge and pulled out a package of 4 chicken breasts, which you butterflied, seasoned, layered basil and half a bag’s worth of Italian Cheese, and then rolled them up. You washed your hands thoroughly to prevent killing anyone so that you can prepared the dredging ingredients in three rectangular deep dishes. You added salt, pepper, Italian herbs, garlic and onion powders, paprika and shredded parmesan cheese. The doubly dredged stuffed chicken breasts, which were held by toothpicks were pan fried on both sides until golden brown, and then transferred to the oven to cook the rest of the way.

While that was happening, you decided that it wouldn’t hurt to handwash the dishes under barely tolerable hot water and soap, which you did in a jiffy, while also effectively washing your hands, too.

To jack up the chicken, you sauteed mince garlic and onion then threw in a can of crushed Roma tomato sauce, and seasoned to taste to which you put on top of the breaded crispy chicken at the 15 minute mark, topping it with more Italian cheese then sticking it back to cook the rest of the way for a total of 25 minutes and a little longer until the cheese is golden brown, which the latter happened. Once done, you made sure that all the toothpicks were removed, again to not kill anybody.

You lowered the temperature of the soup after it was thoroughly melted and piping hot down to a simmer and you washed the tomato sauce pan thoroughly.

For the final task, you made the Aglio e Olio Pasta as the companion pasta for your chicken. You turned up the heat to boil the pasta water and threw in the pasta once boiling. You took a clean stainless steel pan and poured the amount of olive oil required for the recipe and heated it up on medium-low, then thinly sliced 1 ½ bulb’s worth of garlic which went into the pan along with chili flakes to infuse the oil with flavors until the garlic started to turn brown. Dragging the perfectly cooked pasta pot right up against the pan you used tongs to transfer the spaghettini into the pan and added pasta water and salt as needed in between tossing the pan’s content until it was beautifully glossy. Once this was done. You threw in chopped Italian parsley and tossed some more.

You turned your attention to the lettuce, which you drained then spun in a salad spinner until they are as thoroughly dry as you can get them. You completed the ceasar salad in a large wooden bowl and topped it with store-bought croutons and wide shavings of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese.

(The end 😊 Can you guess how long this all took on a time crunch?)

By this time, you had noticed that Tomas was sitting on the dinner table, now wearing a fitted gray t-shirt and pajama pants, looking at his phone intently. He was in his own world, which made you feel relieved, because that bought you some time to make some of those herb and garlic sourdough toasts, which you forgot to make. 

You quickly set the table and plated the food with the chicken beautiful with the golden-brown cheese on top on one side and the Aglio e Olio on the other, making the Italian Flag proud! Next were the bowls of soup, which you decorated with two whole basil leaves, then assembled the toasts neatly on a separate plate. You bought a bottle of cold sparkling Italian lemonade from the Italian super market, which you’ve been stocking up on.

Hooooo boy, you felt like a hot mess after all was done. You quickly went to change you clothes so that you don’t look like a hot mess before finally sitting down at the dinner table ready to eat.

“Itadakimasu!” He exclaimed happily, “Let’s eat!”

You quietly dug into your food, and you didn’t realize how starving you are until you reached your last bite in under 15 minutes. You surprisingly beat Tomas, who was halfway done, partly because he was also paying attention to his phone.

You happened to look up to ask him how his dinner was and you were startled to see him staring at you. If you’ve watched Season 4 of Love Is Blind, he had the same intense, creepy stare as Zach. His lips were curled up in a smile.

You decided to ignore the sensation of your skin crawling to ask him how his dinner was. He didn’t reply and continued to stare at you with that smile.

“What?” you asked, you shifted your eyes to one side briefly before returning to his stare, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Why are you so serious?” Tomas asked, now grinning.

“I’m sor-what?” you spat out, stunned.

“You’re so serious,” he repeated. He pursed his lips, seemingly deep in thought, “Am I scary?”

“No, you’re not scary,” you answered slowly after your own pause.

“Then why do you look.....serious? Why are you so quiet?” he asked. You perceive there to be a slightly teasing tone in his voice, “Are you normally like this around people?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you mean,” you said, confused. Is he right though? In your head, you went over your interactions with him from the past week. You were civil and respectful in your interactions with him and have done your best to make sure that he was comfortable. However, you remember the first evening when he made the comment about how you were serious. In your defense, you tended to be focused when you’re working on a task.

“You’re doing it again, you have that look in your face! It’s like you’re……uh…….pondering the meaning of life!” he quipped with the same creepy expression, this time his eyes looking off momentarily to the side before returning to yours, “Like figuring out how the……….caramel got into a Caramilk Bar.”

You nearly choked on your drink. That came out of nowhere! Did you hear this right? Was he joking?

You opened and closed your mouth a few times trying to respond to him, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Tomas. I shouldn’t ha-“

“I interrupt you, sorry!” he countered, “I didn’t say that you made me uncomfortable. I said that you were serious. And to be honest……”

“Okay?” you were paying attention now. You felt terrible, as you can feel a mental lashing from your perfectionist brain beginning.

“It hurts my feelings,” he finished, expression changing to that of a pouty demeanor, like a 10-year old, “You want to know a secret? I’ve never told any one about this, not even my own brother……..The Grand Master of the great Shirai Ryu……Best Clan ever.”

He gestured for you to come closer, and you leaned forward a few inches.

He gestured even harder, “Closer! Closer! You’re too shy!”

You gave a slight incredulous scoff and leaned forward a few more inches.

“Closer!” He beckoned even harder.

You stopped just over a feet away from him, “No, this is close enough.”

“Okay, I’ll lean closer,” he bobbed his head side-to-side and leaned closer so that his face was 6 inches away from yours.

You instinctively leaned away from him. You were made to feel uncomfortable with this sudden behavior change, and you kept wary eyes on him as his piercing silver-gray eyes bore into yours.

“What is your secret?” You asked.

After a long pause and eyes still locked into yours, he said, “I’m a Cancer.”

A burst of involuntary laughter erupted from you. You leaned your elbows on the table with a thud, and burried your face into your hand, convulsing.

“This is funny to you?” Tomas asked, “I’m telling you my secret……..it is very precious to me!”

It was hard to take this seriously, and you couldn’t help but find this sudden shift of behaviour amusing.

He waited until you to calm down. “I-I’m so-sorry! I-I d-didn’t me-mean to-“

“I interrupt you again,” he cut you off, waving his hand dismissively, “As I said, it is a precious secret…very…very…..very………very precious.”

Swallowing hard, you managed to stop laughing, “Thank you for sh-sharing your secr-secret with me.” Your were finding it hard to keep a straight face, so you smiled and gestured for him to go on.

“I know I look scary on the outside………like, very…very, very, very, very, very scary. I look tough like a Russian Villain!” This he said with an over-exaggerated tough guy look pumping his fist in front of him. Then he softened his demeanor to the same pouty expression, “But I’m very soft in the inside.” He rubbed his left chest emphatically, “I’m a sensitive man. Very, very, very, very, very sensitive……….like my feelings get hurt very, very easily.”

“How have I hurt your feelings, Tomas?” you asked trying to be empathetic, a chuckle betraying you.

“You don’t talk to me,” he answered, still pouty-faced.

Despite your amusement, you were taken-aback since you’ve always responded to his questions and when he initiates conversations. To be honest, you’ve always kept to yourself and minded your own business, until you got to know someone well enough to open up to and engage in more than superficial conversations,

“I don't talk to you?" You repeated, "What do you want to talk about?”

“Ask me about………my hair,” he said, “Ask me why it is gray.”

Now that he brought it up, you seized the opportunity to satisfy the curiosity, “Is that your natural hair colour?”

He cocked his head to one side, “My mother was a moon sprite…my father was a fire lord….he is human. It’s a sad story, I’m sorry.” His face contorted as if about to cry.

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m listening,” you reassured, “I want to hear it.

“My people were persecuted, so my mother put me in a basket to help me escape. It travelled down the river from my kingdom all the way to China and my hair turned from red to gray……because it was cold. My fire became smoke,” he finished now with a deadpan expression, “The end!” He finished in a sing-song voice with a cheery expression and raising his hands with upturned palms.

Reluctantly, you told him it was a good story. It sounded ridiculous to you, but knowing about the existence of magical realms and beings, you thought that there may be plausibility in his story and that he’s using humour to cope. It is also possible that he was trying to connect with people and was secretly lonely. You now felt terrible for laughing.

“Thank you for sharing your story with me, Tomas. I’ll be sure to ask more questions about you,” You reassured, “I normally don’t ask a lot of questions when I don’t know people very well, because I don’t know if a question is personal or not.”

“What personal questions?” Tomas asked, leaning in curiously, eyes wide like a child.

“Well, you know, like if someone’s married, how old someone is, or what their family life is like, or-“

“Are you married?” he asked.

You paused, “I decline to answer.”

“How old are you?”

“I’d rather not say,” you replied warily.

“Why?”

“And it’s rude to ask someone that.”

“Why?”

“Some people are sensitive about their age.”

“Why?”

You paused, “They just don’t like being asked that question.”

“Why?”

“Okay, this is getting nowhere,” you smiled awkwardly, trying to get out of the topic.

“You’re being serious again!” Tomas exclaimed, “Even your food is serious.” He gestured at his plate.

You blinked, “I’m sorry, what? My food is “serious”?”

“Your food………it’s too serious,” he picked up his fork and poked through the salad, the chicken, and the pasta, “Where are my brownies? Where are my Skittles?”

The then spooned the soup, pretending to look for something, “Where is my ice cream?”

You shrugged, “Well, I want to make sure that you eat health-“

He held a hand up to stop you, “Sorry, I interrupt you,” he said, “Now you hurt my Cancer feelings again.”

“Go on, please explain,” you gestured for him to continue.

“I like tasty food…..just not too serious…….If everything is too serious, there is no fun.”

Nodding slowly, you agreed empathetically, “You’re right.”

He slammed a hand on the table, “Of course, I’m right!”

This action made you jump, but you looked at him expectantly to continue.

“I am a human being! I have feelings,” He said, rubbing his left chest again, “…..…needs……..I want fun! Please consider my feelings.”

“You right, I’m sorry, I sh-“

“I don’t want your, “I’m sorry!” he said loudly, he slammed his hand on the table again, “I want action!”

You shut your eyes with a suppressed smile, processing the interaction. You were undoubtedly amused, but what part of this was serious? You wanted to read between the lines to find the meaning, but that was a task for later.

“How about this?” you began slowly, “Why don’t I bring you on my next Costco run after I pick you up during the weekend, then we’ll eat out. What do you think?”

“No serious?” He asked, wide-eyed.

“No serious,” you affirmed, nodding and smiling.

“Ok!” He then cracked a wide, innocent smile, “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome!”

You let him finish his dinner, and proceeded to clear the table and clean up after he was done. Once your duties for the evening were done, you headed to your room and hit the shower.

He reverted back to the self that you were familiar with, like the entire strange conversation never happened. But you got a good laugh out of it.

You let the cats out. Instantly, they gravitated towards Tomas, who gladly indulged them. He also insisted in helping you, you explained that since he was a guest, he wouldn’t be doing any of that. However, interacting the kitties would always be welcomed.

Was it ever an interesting day, and it ended with you laughing your self to sleep. Little did you know, your dinners would become…interesting.

[medea10]

My Review of The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love You

Well, I got a couple of open slots for the Fall 2023 anime season. I’ll choose this random series without looking into what it is and why it is. How bad could it possibly be?

#FamousLastWords

Between the time he was eight months old and the time he graduated from middle school, Rentaro Aijou has been turned down by “girls he likes” a grand total of 100 times. The night following his middle school graduation, Rentaro went to a shrine and prayed that when he enters high school, he will get a girlfriend. That’s when he meets God himself.

As one does in this occasion.

God tells Rentaro that he will not only get a girlfriend that is destined to be his true soulmate, he will have 100 girlfriends destined to be his true soulmate. Unless you are Genghis Khan or a main character on Tenchi Muyo, I call bullshit. God explains that the day Rentaro was born, he kinda dropped the ball while filling out paperwork. He accidentally wrote 100 soulmates instead of 1. To make things worse, if he turns down any of these soulmates, they’ll die suddenly. So, this is a matter of life and death for 100 girls.

On the very first day of high school, Rentaro bumps into two of these soulmates, Hakari Hanazono and Karane Inda. A pink-haired girl with big tits and a blonde tsundere. Of course, they are! All three are struck by cupid’s drunken, polygamist arrow. Them being a couple is kinda like with Girlfriend Girlfriend with the exception of them all not living together. Heads up, this is under the comedy genre. So, expect a lot of clumsy slapstick here! Well, Rentaro has met 2 of his soulmates. Throughout the series, he meets three other soulmates. A girl named Shizuka who communicates through lines from her favorite novel. Then there’s Kusuri who is a bit of an absent-minded scientist who occasionally transforms from curvy beauty to a Lolita. And then there’s Nano Eiai (pronounced A.I.) who is as monotone as it gets. If you name your kid that, what the hell do you expect?

Before I continue, I’m going to take a couple of shots in the dark here. I’m guessing that this series will only be 11-13 episodes long. Rentaro will only meet 5-13 girls in this span. And the chances of a sequel will be 15% chance.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: No lie, these were the words when it was announced this anime was getting an English dub. “This flaming garbage is getting an English dub?” Hmm, if Brina Palencia is allowed to do Crunchyroll dubs, I say she’s going to play Eiai. Only by the mere fact that she has a reputation for playing monotone girls. But that was something I used to see happen 15 years ago, I doubt it’s still true that Palencia plays nothing but monotone characters anymore. I gotta get with the times as Eiai is played by someone completely different. As for the sub, a mix of newer and well-known seiyuus. This is Wataru Katou’s second main role and seems to be relatively new. I thought he did a really good job as Rentaro. Okay, here’s the cast.

JAPANESE CAST: *Rentaro is played by Wataru Katou

*Hakari is played by Kaede Hondo (known for Iono on Pokemon Horizons, Sakura on Zombieland Saga, and Haruka on Love Live Nijigasaki)

*Karane is played by Miyu Tomita (known for Riko on Made in Abyss, Crim on Interspecies Reviewers, Miko on Kaguya-sama, and Ebisu on Dorohedoro)

*Shizuka is played by Maria Naganawa (known for Kanna on Miss Kobayashi, Plateletts on Cells at Work, and Komekko on Konosuba)

*Eiai is played by Asami Seto (known for Raphtalia on Shield Hero, Mai on Bunny Girl Senpai, CZ on Overlord, Miyoko on Food Wars, and Mado on Tokyo Ghoul)

*Kusuri is played by Ayaka Asai (known for Lisa on Fire Force)

ENGLISH CAST: *Rentaro is played by Travis Mullenix

*Hakari is played by Sarah Wiedenheft (known for Tohru on Miss Kobayashi, Power on Chainsaw Man, Lily on Zombieland Saga, Ruby on Love Live Sunshine, Ariel on Mushoku Tensei II, and Charmy on Black Clover)

*Karane is played by Ariel Graham (known for Tia on Overlord and Leivinia on Index III)

*Shizuka is played by Sara Ragsdale (known for Saikawa on Miss Kobayashi, Young Dabi on My Hero Academia, Saya on Dagashi Kashi)

*Eiai is played by Cassie Ewulu

*Kusuri is played by Lindsay Sheppard (known for Aria on Pokemon XY and Mia on Love Live Nijigasaki)

SHIPPING: After viewing the first episode, I just see Rentaro as one of those harmless anime perverts. He’s like Brock from Pokemon, he’s just going to ask the girl out and anything that happens afterwards, whatever. And for a while throughout the series, I’m inclined to agree with the same sentiment. I don’t recall seeing him get giddy about fondling Hakari’s breasts or anything dirty like that.

In fact, he tries to be chivalrous to the girls. Rentaro loves someone like Karane despite being the textbook definition of a tsundere. Rentaro helped Shizuka out of her shell and then-some. He showed Eiai that there’s more to life than just numbers. And Kusuri is no longer alone now that Rentaro is in her life. Although, things do get a little raunchy and go beyond holding hands. Rentaro doesn’t play favorites like the other modern harems, he loves all of his girlfriends the same and for some reason, the girlfriends just go along with Rentaro adding more girlfriends.

In short, every girl is best girl to him. But we have to admit that Hakari’s family has the upper-hand due to a couple of firsts. Hakari is the first girlfriend and the first to be a “bride”. And then Mama Hahari…um…Yeah, it’s best to assume that Hakari and Hahari got the upper-hand here.

WTF MOMENT: French-kissing Vice Principal.

That’s right. In an anime where Hakari has sick fantasies and we have a girl like Kusuri, who wears diapers and is an 18-year-old in the body of an 8-year-old, the Vice-Principal tainted everything.

That’s it. That’s what made my soul died.

ENDING: In harem animes, there’s bound to be any number of objections from friends and family members. Mostly family! Would your parents agree to you being in a polygamist relationship? Hakari is told by her mother to end it. Under normal circumstances, yes, that would be the case. But in this anime, Hakari would die. But of course, only Rentaro knows that factoid. If Hakari does die due to break-up, at least she went out in style. She was able to compete in a bouquet toss event that resulted in her and Rentaro dressed in wedding gear and having their pictures taken.

Hakari’s mother Hahari shuts her daughter up in her room in supreme lockdown. It’s a big house filled with security personnel, a guard dog, trip-laser security, and a cat. The cat’s there doing what cats do. Rentaro and the other girlfriends break in to try and save Hakari. With the help of everyone, Rentaro was able to make it to Hakari’s room. But all in vain as Hakari’s room was also attached to the security system and Rentaro was caught. We then learn about Hahari and why she’s being overprotective of her daughter. Hahari fell in love with a terminally-sick boy at age 13. Hahari decides to have his baby. She gives birth to Hakari and later the boy dies. Hahari later regrets the decision she made and doesn’t want Hakari to make a big mistake with a boy like she did.

And then Mama Hahari and Rentaro got the spark and AW SHIT, SHE’S ONE OF THE 100 GIRLFRIENDS!

Hahari shook it off and continued to test both Rentaro and Karane on this unordinary relationship with a lie detector. It showed that despite Karane’s severe tsundere attitude, she loves Rentaro. Rentaro is shown to love all of his girlfriends. And that Karane is somewhere in the A-cup range. But the silliness comes to a grinding halt when Hakari is on the ledge of her second-story bedroom window ready to end it all. Rentaro ends up saving her by falling off the ledge with her into the fountain. At least they’re not dead. Hahari gives up her grasp on Hakari and all seems to be forgiven with a hot bath, pajama party, and Rentaro possibly losing his virginity. Oh come on, I doubt that this anime would go so far as to…

OH, HOLY FUCK! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED! RENTARO FUCKED HIS FIRST GIRLFRIEND’S MOTHER! HE’S A LITERAL MOTHER FUCKER!

And we go along with the final episode as if we did not see him fucking her brains out. The slumber party went along with usual and unusual moments including: playing cards, spying on Rentaro as he bathes, random acts of lesbianism, a spooky ghost in the window, and other silly shenanigans. We get more serious moments when we’ve got Hahari feel guilty as it feels like she’s betraying her first love (Hakari’s dead father). Rentaro being pure of heart accepts all of her baggage and seals it with a kiss. And then the ghost of Hahari’s first love (Hakari’s dead father) appears before Rentaro.

As one does! While he was quite defiant about Rentaro dating this guy’s first love and daughter, he sees Rentaro is a pure…wrong words to use about a guy who just lost his virginity to this guy’s baby-mama. Pure enough. Ghost dad approves and passes on. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Rentaro’s first 5 girlfriends are easy to see as they all go to the same school as him. How is Rentaro going to see his sixth, Mama Hahari? Simple. Hahari buys the school. Yeah, the episode ends with her announcing she bought the school. We also see four girls that Rentaro passes by that could possibly be girlfriends #7-11. Pfft. I’ve seen that happen before in season finales. Keijo had an ending like that where we saw all these new characters for one second and then the series never came back.

Okay, let’s see if what I said at the beginning of this review still stands.

*This series was 12 episodes long. I was correct that it was only going to last between 11 and 13. *By series end, Rentaro has officially gotten 6 girlfriends. Even if we add the 5 girls we saw at the end of episode 12, that would equal 11 girls. So, I was right about the number of girlfriends. *My 15% chance of a sequel guess was proven wrong immediately as this got the green light for a second season when the season one finale aired.

Shit, this series was something else. I can honestly say there were a lot of moments in 100 Girlfriends I would have never expected to happen. In a normal harem anime, there’d be a lot of fighting between the girls, the first girl might get a kiss, and the anime would end there so you would have to go to the manga to know what happens next. Or, wait nearly 30 years to see proof of a harem like with Tenchi Muyo. But we all must remember that we are in the 2020’s. If this fucking Goddamn decade has taught me anything, anime has gone above and beyond the norm here. We’re in the decade of Interspecies Reviewers and Redo of Healer!

This anime blew away everything that you’ve seen when it comes to harems. Rentaro has kissed every girl. He is loyal to all of his girlfriends and thensome. And unlike a lot of other harems, he lost his virginity by the season’s end and not to the first girl. I gotta give credit where credit is due in this department. And by the looks of the manga, Rentaro is still loved and quadrupled girl intake. Last I saw, he has over 20 girlfriends. The creator and artists are determined to make the 100 girlfriends thing happen whether the anime continues or not. I gotta respect that kind of tenacity. I am beyond curious to see how Rentaro can possibly handle over 20 girlfriends. So, I am definitely looking forward to a second season for this anime.

And if you want to see a harem done right for the 2020’s, get your ass to Crunchyroll and watch this series.

FINAL THOUGHT: If Rentaro never existed, this anime would be a Yuri anime starring these two. Prove me wrong.

[runningfrom2am]

coryo: money is not an object, i just want you to have the wedding of your dreams.

r, realising the who is paying for everything: the wedding won’t be perfect if i don’t have at least seven dresses.

-and i love her for it.

SEJANUS AND LUCY GRAY MENTION!! had they not returned to capitol, sejanus and lucy gray would have been the best man and the maid of honour. this is going to haunt me.

at first i was shocked that tigris wasn’t the maid of honour but then i read the reasoning behind it and everything, once again, made absolutely perfect sense. someone who is almost everything but not quite, fitting the image but still less than her. also her thinking tigris is prettier than her while coryo doesn’t even consider tigris pretty.

“we agreed on the wedding and this is the reception.” he thought he did something there didn’t he? the audacity. he was late too.

living for the fact that %90 of the impulsive decisions the bride makes are what the groom wished he could at one point in his life.

imagine getting livia cardew thrown out of a social event for causing a scene. with the award season starting recently, let’s give r an oscar for the best actress.

no bc first of all AS SHE SHOULD i love that energy for them i just know she had the time of her LIFE planning this wedding.

also AHH yes sejanus and lucy gray and HERES THE THING: r is all like “hmm idk maybe it would have been them guess we’ll never know 🤷‍♀️” but i can 100% tell you right now it would have been them, no questions even asked. up until the very bitter end she truly did love lucy gray, and she loved sejanus even after that. i think he was so much harder for her to get over and i would LOVE to expand on that one day in another oneshot maybe but i digress…

i truly believe that at this point r really does love tigris, but the love she gives out is fragile so as we have discussed it wouldn’t last forever and it would end abruptly. BUT i think that honestly the only reason she didn’t ask her to be MOH was because she believes she’s prettier than her. clemensia was not doing well, she was still recovering from the snake bite and clearly a mess physically AND emotionally (if her drinking habits are any indicator) so r thought she was perfect for the job because she under no circumstances could steal any positive attention from her. with tigris, i do think that in some subconscious capacity r feels threatened by her. she’s the only one who knows coryo as well as she does, possibly more, and that scares her after what happened with lucy gray. i believe she firmly does honestly think that tigris is prettier and that’s why she picked clem, but there is more behind that decision than even she understands. i think that she was embarrassed that her family would not be playing any kind of role in their wedding, so what would people think if his cousin did? they needed to be equally independent from their families, otherwise people would ask questions she did not want to answer.

edit from an hour later: i’d also like to note that when tigris talks to katniss, she claims that she was let go from her job as a stylist in the games (r’s games) bc snow “didn’t think i was pretty enough anymore”, so which snow did she mean?? just food for thought idk

okay and then on the topic of her father,, coryo ate him UP. enough said, honestly hahahaha

moving on to your next point, that’s totally a big part of why coryo loves her so much. that’s evident from the very beginning of the series too, though back then he views it a little differently. while other people look at her and see recklessness, anger issues, and general unpleasantness, he only sees that she’s a lot more honest and brave than anyone else is. he’s said it a billion times- she’s braver and stronger than anyone he’s ever met; including himself, and he admires that she can take what she wants without feeling guilty or embarrassed about her actions.

and FINALLY,, so true bestie she does deserve an award. even if the acting itself fooled no one, who are they to say that it wasn’t genuine?? rumours would not stick on her- livia would be at fault regardless. also shoutout coryo for understanding the vibes immediately and going along with it. he’s so real for that.

ONE MORE THING on the topic of livia,, this was so fun to use her to show how much r has changed through the whole ordeal. this takes place a little over two years (ish) after the finer things in life, and the way she treats livia is so so different, but livia has stayed pretty much the same, if not hardened up a little. r went from livia kicking her out of a party for bringing drugs only to hug her in response, to kicking livia out of her wedding for wearing a dress that had a little too much white on it and her first urge was to get violent over it. idk, i feel like i could talk ab this more but it’s just a little thought i wanted to share.

thank you as always bestie!!

[aprillikesthings]

The next episode itself is a two-parter, and I think that rather than split them up I will just watch through, which might mean I have to reblog this post multiple times.

Finishing out season four!

s4, eps 12&13 Destiny

Usual reminder: this is a REwatch and there’s spoilers ahoy, I make a lot of bad jokes (some of which are Adult In Nature), I reference other cartoons, I make random asides.

(also, this time specifically, I had some alcohol)

Tbh? it's a lot like watching things like this with me in person aaahahaha I always want to pause and infodump shit -_-

lol Emily is destroying Shadow Weaver's garden

Emily acts like Mal the cat does sometimes. WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH you are not supposed to have that! Get out of there!

UGGGH

it's easy to forget how BIG Scorpia is??

LOLOL oh my god I went downstairs for like an hour and a half talking to my partners about the most random shit and then playing with the cat and also: I've had most of a can of wine.

One of these:

YEAH (that's a huge image)

so if these get weird: blame the wine I guess

oh also @corpseauthority and I picked out fake fur and minky fabric for the ears and tail of my Catra cosplay :D :D :D I'M SO EXCITED

OKAY BACK TO SHE-RA

the only thing better than Scorpia's "huh?" is Shadow Weaver's flat "what"

Shadow Weaver: no we need the other princesses Glimmer: well they're gone but-- Scorpia, Shadow Weaver, and Emily: WAIT, WHAT???

AND THEN

okay but is the guard telling you this Double Trouble

ROLL INTRO

that thing was not meant to hold four humans and a horse with wings

why are you SNIFFING HIM

Entrapta: "I don't know you" Micah: "Yes, you do. You stole my food." Entrapta: "OH YEAH! It was delicious :D"

oh god Adora's like "....but are you okay? we came here to find you 🥺"

and she's like YEAH I'M GREAT

"each more deadly than the next??? it's PARADISE"

I love her so much oh my godddd

Bow: "We're here to rescue you" Entrapta: "didn't I just rescue YOU?"

Bow mentions Hordak and Entrapta pulls her little new bug-eye mask down :(

Adora: so hey we uhhhhhhhh really need your help due to a terrible secret of the First Ones that nobody but us knows

"WHy didn't you say so???"

well that's a callback to s1 ep1

THERE SHE IS!! MY BABY 😍 I LOVE HER SO MUCH

nooo

anyway Kyle, Rogelio, and Lonnie come in and Catra's like OH UHHH so...what's happening

Lonnie: "we just got back from conquering another Rebel town" Kyle: ":D You should've seen us!! It was all:"

and then he kicks Scorpia's old locker, with the drawings on it, and Catra gets mad

Ironically the degree to which Catra is UPSET is making me ship them harder lol

bb you need a break you are getting feral

Man Lonnie has her number lol. "What is wrong with you? We're winning! Even you should be happy."

god I love when she's this deranged

she slams poor Lonnie against a locker

john cena dot gif

but also OH DO THEY REMIND YOU OF WHO YOU USED TO BE? HMM? what you really wanted??? what actually gave you something like joy or contentment????? are you trying to just erase any part of you capable of feeling good?????????

Kyle is RIGHT

The cinematic parallels between Catra and Glimmer in this episode ("forget my friends I'M IN CHARGE HERE and YOU NEED TO FOLLOW ORDERS") are *chef's kiss*

Catra realizing this isn't what she actually wants: part ....a lot

STOP REMINDING ME I HAVE FEELINGS!!

The other three leave, she yanks the drawings off Scorpia's old locker, then THUMPs her head on it. And then Double Trouble shows up!

okay wait tho the way she pauses and then thumps her head on it is so funny I wish I could gif it, it's so cat-like and also Very Emo

I don't think this is supposed to be funny but it IS and I cannot stop rewinding and laughing. I blame the wine.

THONK

help i've rewatched it like five times now

okay

lol right??

Me, when I was info-dumping my own fic at myself: is it weird to imagine these two banging??? Me now: nope

Double Trouble: "Apologies for the delay, kitten. I got ...held up...in Bright Moon"

Anyway they give a little speech about how the Princesses keep fighting and She-Ra is away

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK

(now THERE's an old fandom reference ahahaha)

"We can't let them return to the Fright Zone!" TOO FUCKING LATE

YOU STOLE HER GARNET YOU WOULD THINK SO

Anyway they argue about the possibility of Glimmer taking Scorpia back to the Fright Zone

GOD I HATE IT WHEN SHE'S RIGHT UGGGHHHH

lolol I am. like. less than ten minutes into the FIRST OF TWO EPISODES and i've hit the image limit.

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s02ep04 “Marty McFly PFC” Review and Commentary

Previous episodes linked here.

In this episode: Lots of jitterbugging, Marty accidentally joins the military, and using German words is strictly verboten.

Another green screen opening! Our good friend Doc is in the 1940s, where he's entered a jitterbug dance contest. He's having a blast watching the other competitors.

A few things here...

There was a missed opportunity to have Doc's contestant number be 88.

Also, you can't just drop information about Doc apparently being able to jitterbug well enough to enter a contest and then NOT show him dancing. This is Doc Lore that shouldn't just be glossed over! The man can jitterbug??! Show. Us.

Why did this form of dance ever go out of style? I LOVE swing dancing. We should still be doing this.

Doc leads us into the cartoon by reminiscing about the time that Verne, who was taking dance lessons, accidentally entered a jitterbug contest as well in 1944.

We begin at the Hill Valley Dance Academy, where we quickly learn that Verne is not a very good dancer. He's attempting to waltz with his partner, but keeps stepping on her feet and messing up the footwork. His teacher is quite displeased with his lack of progress over the previous three weeks.

Look at Vernie with his slicked back hair and fancy little outfit. Adorable.

After a terrible class, Verne goes home to beg Clara to let him quit. She tells him that it's important to finish what you start. Also! We've got a new and improved Clara this season! First of all, her character design is much better—her features aren't quite as wonky as they were at the start of season one—and she's got some new clothes! It seems that Clara has been adjusting well to living in the early 1990s.

I love that we never see Clara not wearing purple. The girl knows what she likes and sticks to it.

After realizing he isn't getting anywhere with trying to convince his mother, Verne goes to Doc to vent about his dance woes. Doc says that he, too, took dance lessons as a kid, and that it was, "a humiliating experience."

To help Verne out, Doc digs through a trunk for an old invention: a pair of boots that are programmed to help the wearer perform certain dances. Unfortunately, as with most of Cartoon Doc's inventions, they malfunction pretty much right away, making him dance too quickly before spinning him out of control and then exploding.

Doc searches for the blueprints to repair them, but he can't find it anywhere in his files. Using a different invention to help jog his memory, Doc has a "flashback" to where he had stored the original blueprints.

We learn that Doc lived in a small apartment above a gas station in 1944, and he tells Verne a bit about World War II and all the fear and uncertainty of the time. He recalls hiding the blueprints under some clothes in a drawer just before the siren announcing a blackout sounded. This is 1944 Doc, by the way.

Not sure why he has such dark hair. There was that episode last season where we met him as a four-year-old, and he had very light blond hair. By 1955, his hair is still a light blond, heading toward white. Did he dye his hair at some point? Hmm.

Anyway, Doc goes on to tell Verne that the dresser holding the blueprints was lost the next year in a fire. Verne suggests they just take a quick trip back to 1944 to nab the blueprints, but Doc doesn't want to take the risk of running into his past self. Verne is not pleased.

We cut scene to Marty, who is rummaging through the Browns' fridge like a starving man since he apparently doesn't have a family of his own to feed him. Verne promises to buy Marty a big, greasy burger if he'll go on an "errand" with him. This is enough to get Marty to agree, and he and Verne set off for 1944. And this right here is another major difference between Movie Marty and Cartoon Marty. Movie Marty wouldn't be swayed by the promise of food. That kid doesn't even need food. He'll go through all sorts of exciting and nightmarish adventures on a completely empty tank—no food, no water, no sleep. He's just built different.

After arriving, our little Chaos Duo partake in some breaking and entering and find the blueprints.

Just when it looks like their errand is already done and they're in the clear, Marty and Verne are stopped by a Blackout Warden, who questions them on why they had lights on in the apartment during a scheduled blackout. Were they trying to signal enemy planes?

The warden then finds the DeLorean, which he assumes is some type of advanced weapon. He goes to inform the military while Marty and Verne take off running. The two hide out in some bushes overnight in a victory garden, and are found in the morning by a girl named Rosie and her little sister, Dorothy.

We then meet Sergeant Frank Tannen, who obviously has a thing for Rosie and, in typical Tannen fashion, starts being much too forward and handsy with her. Marty intervenes, and Frank chases them for a while before they manage to get the upper hand.

But if you think that this is the end of the trouble for Marty and Vernie, you're wrong. The warden shows up then, announcing that he's placing the both of them under citizen's arrest. They take off running again, with both Frank and the warden in pursuit.

Verne, who is smart, takes cover in a movie theater. Marty, who is a doofus on a good day, runs straight into a recruiting center. For some reason, he thinks it's a restaurant?? And when he asks if people are on line for food, the guy in front of him says they'll get three square meals a day. Marty, who is still very hungry, is thrilled and asks what he has to do to get some food. He's told to sign a form, which he immediately does.

Marty has accidentally joined the Army.

This all could have been avoided if he'd been able to find some food in the fridge earlier. Or even if he'd had a granola bar stashed away in his pocket or in the car.

After learning of Marty's predicament, Verne starts trying to figure out how to rescue him. While he's out in town, he runs into Rosie and Dorothy, who ask him if he'd like to come to their house for a Salisbury steak. "Nah, but a hamburger would be great!" Verne replies, promptly getting a hand clamped over his mouth by Rosie. He's informed that he shouldn't say "The H-word," or people might think he's a Nazi spy.

At their house, Dorothy asks Verne to stick around and be her partner for the jitterbug contest (if you hadn't guessed, Dorothy is Verne's dance teacher as a little girl). Verne says he can't possibly hang around; he's got to save Marty.

"You kidding?" Rosie replies. "The Army will make a man out of him."

Immediate cut to this scene:

Poor guy.

Returning to the "H-word" scene for a moment, I'd like to point out that in the initial scene with Frank Tannen, he keeps using German phrases and catching himself. He calls Marty and Verne "wisenheimers" (great word that isn't used nearly enough, by the way. It means a smart-aleck/wise-guy), as well as "dummkopfs."

If people aren't supposed to be using German words, Sergeant Tannen isn't doing a very good job. Maybe...he's a spy!!

(side-note: I don't know for sure, but I'd assume Frank is Biff's uncle? Maybe he's Irving "Kid" Tannen's brother?)

Okay, back to Marty. He's—

Wait, wrong piece of media.

After eating some very questionable food in the mess hall, Marty is rescued by Verne, who is dressed as a medic.

They run off to the town square, where the dance contest is being held. Frank and the warden from earlier are both there searching for Marty and Verne. Marty dons a wig and poses as one of the "Anderson sisters" up on the stage, while Verne goes with Dorothy to dance. Using the power of swing-dancing, Verne and Dorothy basically beat up Frank and the warden. Verne also discovers that he really likes to dance!

The pair win first place in the contest, and Marty and Verne then steal the DeLorean back from the men who were guarding it and return home.

After seeing the blueprints, Doc says he doesn't approve of the trip to the past, but it's okay as long as they didn't interact with anyone or interfere with anything. Verne and Marty trade mischievous smiles, then Verne runs off to his dance class.

We return to Real Doc, who leads us into a fascinating lesson about center of mass, and shows us a very interesting experiment demonstrating how men and women have different centers of mass (due to the way a woman's hips are positioned), thus allowing women to easily perform a maneuver that involves taking a certain number of steps back, leaning forward with the top of your head against a wall, picking up a chair, and standing straight up—something the majority of men apparently can't do. Here are gifs of a woman (in a spectacularly 90s outfit) and Bill Nye demonstrating.

I actually was so interested in this that I searched up several videos of people doing it on youtube. All the women could do it easily, but only one guy could, lol.

Looks like a fun game to play at a party or family get-together!

This was an enjoyable episode. Lots of silly Marty and Verne shenanigans. I would like to start seeing more of Clara and Jules, though. They're not utilized nearly enough in this cartoon. I think that's because they both have too much common sense, so it's easier to leave them out of the picture and let Doc, Verne, and Marty run wild.

Join me next time to see Marty and Verne throw caution to the wind and let Verne's friend in on the secret of time travel.