#and i wish someone would have told hunter he was being an asshole instead of being like 'ok were here for u🥺🥺' every time hes mean

[shepherds-of-haven]

BOOM—personality swap between the shepherds! how would that go down?? (i’m envisioning briony having blade’s stoic exterior or chase acting sophisticated like lavi and it’s killing me)

I wish I could draw, because I feel like this would be so much funnier with illustrations! 🤣

I used a random generator to generate the personality swaps:

Halek ↔️ Ayla

Halek is loud, mouthy, aggressive, and wants to fight you all the time. He has a bunch of pent-up rage from being forced to be leader of his people and he responded by acting as delinquent as possible, except instead of being a slacker and shirking his duties, now it's like some Hunter Guy questions his decision and he gets all up in his face and is like, "Huh? You wanna repeat that before I beat your fucking ass?" He is a surprisingly effective leader because everyone perceives him as tough and passionate. However, as a Shepherd, you can't get him to do anything unless you ask him nicely. He has no fear but also no chill... that fight with Ayla about the witch's bane soup would have gone soooo differently if he wasn't naturally quite laidback lol! His partnership with Moonsilk might be more compatible because she'd be the one to seemingly "hold him back" or calm him down... or he'd have told her to fuck off right from the get-go LMAO "I'm not marrying her! Either I'm the leader around here or I'm not, *I* pick who I'm gonna marry! Pack your shit and go!!"

Ayla is just a sleepy lil Wind-Mage. "Ayla, could you, maybe, you know, blast this demon to kingdom come?" "Hm? Oh, yeah, sure... 🥱" Everybody thinks Jalis people must be a buncha hippies because she's sooo lazy and chill. She's the force of calm in the group, the port in the storm: when Briony and Trouble start brawling with some rude assholes in a tavern, Ayla is just waiting on standby, vibing until they're done so she can clean them up and take them home. It probably makes her a vastly less effective fighter because she doesn't summon the energy and passion to send opponents flying, it's probably just a gentle puff of wind LOL

Riel ↔️ Lavinet

Honestly, I don't think they're that different, I feel like Riel is just more vain, fashionable, charismatic, and flirtatious. But their skillsets, backgrounds, and interests are still fairly similar! Still... imagine him lounging in like a flame-red tailored suit with, like, a peacock feather tucked into his breast pocket, the trailblazer of fashion for all of Haven... fanning himself idly while he flirts and flatters courtiers of all stripes shamelessly! "Darling, I realize you have reservations about our business agreement, but haven't you learned you can trust me? 🖤" Oh my god. He would be a menace. Imagine him with an ojou-sama laugh I'm dying

Lavinet is considerably less popular among the nobility because of her various eccentricities... She's neurotic, uptight, fastidious, cutting! She's no entertainer of grand balls and parties, but still a fearsome political opponent all the same... The new Iron Lady! She's known as something of a terror and will snap out a biting retort to just about anyone, whether it's people who don't show her the proper respect or someone who carelessly offset her carefully-arranged tea tray, annoying her to no end! She's known as something of an introvert and recluse and would just rather be left alone to read her books and manage her father's financial affairs. The young men of the Iron Court are so terrified of her that she doesn't even have to worry about being married off against her will LOL, they wouldn't dare to propose!

Chase ↔️ Shery

GOD THIS ONE IS SO CURSED GRLGJKRGJKL There's just no way... The thief-lord of Haven is actually a shy, mousy sweetheart... There's no way that could work, right?? Maybe he has an alter ego where he acts ruthless and cunning, and then he walks into another room and melts into a puddle on the ground like 🥹🥹 "that was so hard... I'm sweating haha...! 😭" Some rival guild leader flirts with him (dangerously) like "well, I was thinking of killing you... but now that I see you in person... I could think of other things I'd like better..." Chase internally is like nooooooo please stop this 😭 while outwardly he blushes and stammers something like "yeah uh th-that sounds like a better option than... being killed..." 🫠 Someone steals from him and Trouble finds him like crying dramatically on the ground an hour later like "why would they do that, that's so mean!!" 😭

I can only imagine Shery as this like vaguely evil, chaotic quartermaster, which doesn't make any sense lmao, her occupation requires her to be extremely orderly, organized, tidy, and on top of her business, and throwing Chase's lackadaisical, unpredictable, "I'm allergic to plans" personality at her is just crazy lol. Imagine trying to run an order when your quartermaster is actually your biggest prankster! YOU CAN'T DO IT, IT WON'T WORK. Every recruit who gets assigned a new room or handed new blankets or puts in a requisition order for a training dummy gets surprised by 8,000 fake spiders. Or a bucket of flour dumped on their head. The Order would collapse into dysfunction within a month. Not to mention the quartermaster's habit of flirting and chatting up the new recruits outrageously! 😭 On the flip side, Vivek would not have given her any shit after the first few minutes of meeting her...

Tallys ↔️ Briony

Tallys is bubbly, cheerful, energetic, and an emotional chatterbox, lol! That's so weird to picture lol imagine Trouble walking into a room and Tallys looking up brightly, her face lighting up in a big smile, and saying something like, "Hi, Trubs, I was just looking for you! The laundresses are throwing a fit because you keep getting the smell of gunpowder in your drapes--how do I know? Oh, well, you see, I'm friends with that nice silver-haired girl on Pelinel Squad, you know, the Weather-Mage, and she said--" I don't think she commands half the dignity or respect she receives now as Third this way lol because she's trying to be everyone's friend... probably the Elves of the Elven Quarter like Ashaniel and them low-key all hate her because she's such a little ball of sunshine, she probably comes off as quite immature and cutesy to them, so imagine her asking Ashaniel to trust her with Quel-Qanaeon, it'd be like asking an 80-year-old war veteran to trust someone whom he just saw getting distracted by a butterfly or something, like "Oh my god, look at the pretty flowers! :D It's such a nice day today, isn't it?" The irony of it being that she's an excellent Keeper and fearsome archer, just no one really listens to her advice or takes her seriously because she's so

Briony is this calm, composed warrior who likes to keep to her own solitude and comes off as quite mysterious and enigmatic. Everyone attributes this to her amnesia and past as a gladiator (surely she must have seen and done such dark things, but look at her resilience of spirit to stay so quiet and dignified!) and is basically looked at as some kind of like wise, martial monk-like figure whom you can always look to for sage advice. However, she comes off as a bit aloof, as she prefers to meditate at dawn by herself and gather herbs to make healing salves (she must have learned these rituals from her Elvish friend at the arena). She's far more meditative, contemplative, and serious... but if you take Tallys's cautious, "observe from a distance" ranged fighter behavior and apply it to what should be the destructive charger/bruiser who runs into the fray headlong, you get a Briony who's probably vastly less effective as the Battle-Mage tank she's supposed to be! She lacks her signature recklessness, so she's probably not punching down walls!

Mimir ↔️ Blade

GOD LOL I HATE THIS well Blade becomes even more quiet than he already is, and he has the charisma of a dead shrimp. He's always silently preoccupied with ✨ mysterious thoughts ✨, and his effectiveness as a commander drops drastically because everything he says is extremely cryptic and makes everyone go like ??? 🙂 What did that mean?? so nothing would get done LMAO instead of barking very straightforward, blunt commands as he is known to, he'd just sort of mumble something extremely enigmatic. This would drive Trouble crazy and he'd probably have to become acting commander. At first people would think the mysterious aura is part of his whole "formerly the greatest assassin" shtick, and his martial prowess and ability in combat couldn't be denied, so at first people would see this dark, unknowable swordsman and be like 'oh yeah, that makes sense why the Autarch picked him, he seems like he's... not of this world...' Very god of death, very ethereal... but then eventually people would start to get annoyed by the lack of clarity LOL and realize it's less "brooding darkness" and more "vague absent-mindedness" or something LMAO

Mimir's this traveling Seer who can not only see the future, but envision 900 different ways for her to kill you?? This makes her an incredibly effective fighter and she's always carrying dozens of weapons on her person... She's survived multiple assassination attempts because of people fearing/hating her predictions about their futures and considered her to be a heretic and a threat, so she's paranoid, abrupt, brusque, and finds it hard to get along with people. She prefers sleeping in a tent outside because she doesn't trust the others not to try and sneak into her room to try and kill her in her sleep! She comes off as a bit unpleasant, but her skills are so valuable that everyone ends up respecting her need for space...

Trouble ↔️ Red

Trouble's abilities as a sniper vastly diminish because, while he's lying on a rooftop or in the bush, waiting to snipe a target, he's sneaking secret reading sessions of his latest book and getting so engrossed that he forgets to keep track of them entirely! He's extremely enthusiastic about arcana and historical discoveries, partially because he's done so much research about magic to understand what was done to him by the Equalists: now he's the Order's resident "obscure magic" expert. Fist-fighting in taverns? No thank you, he prefers reading with a good cup of tea by his elbow. He's a polite, friendly young man who's adored by the neighborhood residents ("such a good, upstanding boy! ever since he was a young man he would come over every year to re-thatch my roof for me!") but has a bad habit of inadvertently making people fall in love with him. He would think he and Lazu Reen are good buddies and that the guy's insults are "just his way of joking around" LOL Lazu Reen: "you're a pig fucker" Trouble: "haha okay buddy, have a good day 🙂" Kind, optimistic, honest, and thoughtful... I feel like he would be sort of like Clark Kent, original good boy himbo with nerd flavor LMAO

Red is his sisters' biggest source of stress in life. Not only is he an UNAPOLOGETIC playboy, he's always going around, carousing in taverns, getting drunk, and then swinging that warhammer around and causing massive destruction!! They've tried to put a rein on his temper from a young age, but he's always been so mutinous and impulsive, sullenly taking their lectures and then immediately going back out and causing more trouble! Everyone in the Circle would have known him and Pan as the class clowns (Neon, like Hermione, was just there to make sure they didn't get killed). He certainly wouldn't have been named Archmage (I think people would have argued that Archmage Tevanti must have been senile at that point: you can't put that hammer-bashing barbarian in charge!!), but that's okay, he's mostly only interested in traveling around and experiencing his youth! Catch him smoking charch in the back and getting into arm-wrestling matches with Halek in bars for fun LOL. He probably wouldn't take any care of his hair and it would just be carelessly lopped off whenever it got too long! 😭

[much-obliged-timothy]

Whumptober #5

Borderlands - #5 - Betrayal

*

Jack stomped into his office, Nisha at his heels. 

Timothy looked up from where he was standing, ECHO in hand. He held it out, Jack snatching it from his hand and throwing himself into the chair at his desk.

“How?” Jack snarled as he read through the data.

“There has to be a traitor,” Nisha said, peering over his shoulder to look at the screen. “Someone on Helios is feeding the Crimson Raiders sensitive information. It’s the only explanation.”

“But who has access to information this sensitive?” Timothy said, sounding frustrated. “It doesn’t make any sense. Everyone who can access this can only do so because Jack gave us permission. Only a fool would think they wouldn’t get caught. There aren’t many of us with that privilege.”

Jack scowled, because of course he already goddamn knew that. The remnants of his Elpis team had access to his sensitive plans, because they were often part of them. Timothy not so much, but Jack did pull him from the casino occasionally to send him on missions with Nisha and Wilhelm.

But now the Crimson Raiders and their Vault Hunters were sabotaging those plans. They were robbing secret weapon transports, ambushing Jack’s teams, and just being a fucking headache in general. They were pulling off things they needed sensitive information to be able to do.

Jack had recalled Timothy from the casino and Nisha from Lynchwood to help him look into the leak. He had Wilhelm beating answers out of some employees who had access to secure transport routes, but he didn’t expect that to turn up anything too useful. 

Jack didn’t like where his thoughts were straying, though.

She wouldn’t have. Surely she wouldn’t have betrayed him. Of all people, not her.

Jack angrily grabbed his own ECHO. “Wilhelm!”

“Nothing yet, Jack,” Wilhelm responded. Jack could hear someone begging in the background. “I told you this was a waste of time. And all their whining is giving me a headache.”

“Keep at it,” Jack snarled, cutting the feed. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm his rising anger.

Getting mad wouldn’t help him find the traitor. Timothy was right; there was only a small network of people who had access to all that sensitive information instead of just bits and pieces. Jack highly doubted this was a team effort betrayal, so that meant it was one of the few with access. 

He could narrow it down even farther than that. Nisha, Wilhelm, and Timothy wouldn’t sell him out to the Vault Hunters. Not only had they helped Jack rise to power, they had been thriving in his success. He rewarded them richly enough to secure their loyalty. They gained nothing and lost everything by turning information over to that scum on Pandora.

That calmed Jack the slightest. It was a starting point, at least. 

Timothy seemed to notice his mood settled, and he took a cautious step closer. Jack glanced at him, a silent permission to speak. 

“Jack, there aren’t many of us with access,” he said. “It won’t take long to investigate everyone. But you shouldn’t make it obvious that’s what you’re doing. Whoever it is might have a deal with the Crimson Raiders to evacuate them if they feel in danger. We don’t want them to flee.”

That was a good point, and Jack was mad he hadn’t thought of it. He was so tangled in his fear of who the traitor was that he wasn’t thinking clearly.

He had to snap out of it. Angel wouldn’t betray him like that. She was in contact with the Vault Hunters, sure, but it was only to maneuver them where Jack needed them for his plans to work. She wasn’t actually working with them. 

“I...have a suggestion?” Timothy said it awkwardly. The kid never had been good at taking charge. Being a sarcastic pain in the ass, sure, but not much of a leader.

“Timmy, this isn’t school. You don’t need to raise your hand and wait to be called on,” Jack said impatiently, grabbing Timothy’s arm and jerking him closer. “Out with it.”

Timothy winced at the tight grip Jack had on his arm. “We look over a list of who has access, try to determine, say, a list of the top three we suspect the most. Then release a piece of information only they can individually access and see if it leaks.”

“Timothy? With a good suggestion? Now I’ve seen it all,” Nisha said in disbelief.

Timothy scowled at her. “You have a better suggestion, Nisha?”

“Who said you were just a pretty face?” Jack released Timothy’s arm. “A very, very pretty face, I might add. Nisha, get on it. Go tell Wilhelm to kill those suckers he’s beating, and then draw up phony transport routes to upload. I’ll look over a list of people with access to determine who we’re tricking with this. Timothy...I don’t actually have a job for you. Stand there and look good ‘til I need something, kiddo.” 

Nisha swiftly left the office. Jack got on his computer as Timothy stood silently at his side. Jack had whipped a bit of obedience into the kid, the scar on his face really settling the mouthy brat into a much more cooperative mindset. He responded well to a paycheck, sure, but even better to a bit of tough love and branding.

Tough love…

Jack shook his head a little. No, everything he’d done for Angel had been to protect her. She couldn’t control her powers, and it made her dangerous. He’d had no choice but to lock her in the Control Core. He was protecting his daughter.

And she had to know that. She had to know he’d done it because he loved her and wanted to keep her safe. She wouldn’t betray him. 

He would talk to her when he was done with this. Go visit her at the Bunker. It had been a while since he’d gone in person. He would-

The pain took a moment to register, because the shock hit him first. He put a hand to his throat and pulled it away, staring at the blood numbly. He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a strangled whisper.

Timothy caught his hair, keeping his head up. He wiped the bloodied blade in his hand on Jack’s coat before hiding it back up his sleeve.

The pain was setting in now, but Jack couldn’t cry out. He couldn’t yell and threaten Timothy. He couldn’t call for help.

The bastard had slit Jack’s throat.

Timothy lowered his head so that his mouth was next to Jack’s ear. “Good news, boss. Found the traitor.”

He released Jack’s head. Jack slumped forward against the desk. It was getting harder to breathe, and his vision was growing spotty.

“Deed’s done, Roland,” Timothy said into his ECHO. “I’m heading for the fast travel station now. I’m not sure how long I’ll have, but the fool sent Nisha away just like I planned. We should have a few minutes before anyone finds the corpse, at least.”

Timothy clipped his ECHO to his belt and looked back down at Jack. He reached out and took Jack’s ECHO.

He pulled the mask off, revealing his scarred face, an exact match to Jack’s. “I never did like you, Jack. Killing a psycho like you does the whole galaxy a favor. Just wish I’d done it before you branded my face, asshole. Shouldn’t have made me a killer if you didn’t want me to kill.”

Timothy spat on him before replacing the mask and turning his back on Jack. He left the office at a steady pace, looking completely at ease.

Blood was spreading on the desk, pooling around Jack’s head. Jack’s fingers scrambled weakly for anything he could use to get attention to the office. He found nothing.

No, no. Angel. He was supposed to go visit Angel in the Bunker.

He was supposed to open the Vault and wake the Warrior. He was supposed to save Pandora. 

And now he was going to die here. All because he put a gun in some foolish kid’s hands and turned him loose. 

Jack closed his eyes, unable to suck in another breath. His last thought should’ve been hatred towards Timothy, or joy that he’d at least maimed the bastard’s face.

Instead, it was just relief that Angel hadn’t been the one to betray him in the end.

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

Keeping Secrets

Title: Keeping Secrets

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2075

Square Filled: Castiel

Summary: Under the spell of a truth potion, Y/N reveals things to Cass that she makes him promise not to tell anyone, especially Dean. Cass agrees, but secrets tend to find a way of revealing themselves whether you like it or not.

Warnings: Fluffiness, Keeping Secrets, Misunderstandings, Mentions of Killing (not literal), violent threats, Innocent Angels, Language? (honestly, I my mind is so scrambled right now, I can’t remember if there’s any…), Mentions of Kinkiness, and I think that’s it.

Written for @spndeanbingo​ (round 2)

Disclaimer: No my gif. Credit to giuls from tenor.com. All mistakes are mine.

A/N: Secrets, man… so easy to keep, yet at the same time, so hard to keep as well. Or is it just me? A side effect of being a terrible liar? Lol. Well, there’s a fun fact about myself. I am a terrible liar! Happy Reading! xx

Hey, Cass told me. There’s nothing to be ashamed about, it’s OK.

When you read that text, your face went up in flames with embarrassment, and now, you were on a mission to find one very, soon to be dead, Angel who spilled the beans. You couldn’t believe Cass told Dean! You confided in him in full confidentiality! Hell, Cass promised to keep his mouth shut, that he’d never tell Dean, that you could trust him to keep your secret, but now you knew that you were wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

“Castiel, when I get my hands on you, I’m going to throttle your stupid angelic neck!” you muttered to yourself, brows furrowed and lips morphed into a deep frown.

You stomped through the bunker looking for the blabbermouth. Still grumbling, you passed Jack’s room, the seemingly teenaged boy looking at you, as you ducked in, with a confused expression. When you didn’t respond to him after he called your name several times, he decided to follow you, wondering why you were acting so strange.

He picked up on a few key words you were saying: stupid, angel, kill, asshole, assbutt, and a few other choice words that he knew were inappropriate but didn’t quite understand what they really implied.

Next, you stormed into the kitchen finding Sam eating a salad. In your already foul mood, you scoffed at his choice of nutrition, rolling your eyes at the gentle giant of a man.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” He asked, looking at you and then to Jack, who shrugged in obliviousness.

“I’m fine,” you hissed, not meaning to snap at him. “Have you seen Cass?”

“Uh, no. He should be in here somewhere. He didn’t mention anything about leaving,” Sam provided.

“Okay, thanks,” you replied, tone still not very pleasant.

You marched onwards, Jack still trailing behind you. He wasn’t sure if you knew that he was following, or if you simply didn’t care, but Jack continued on regardless.

The two of you made it to the war room, the space void aside for a few empty beer bottles that was most likely left by Dean. Growling in disapproval, you walked into the library next, just in time to see Sam walk in from the other end.

“Cass, there you are. Y/N’s looking for you and she doesn’t seem very happy,” Sam warned just as you stepped in.

“Damn right I’m unhappy,” you confirmed, storming up to Cass. “I can’t believe you told Dean!”

“I don’t understand. What did I tell him that I wasn’t supposed to?” Cass questioned, the look on his face completely perplexed.

“Oh, you know what you told him!”

Cass squinted his eyes and tilted his head, a tell that told you he was trying recollect what he possibly could have said. Annoyed with him, you exclaimed in frustration. “I can’t believe you told Dean that I liked him!” you finally revealed, Jack and Sam’s eyes widening and brows raising.

“What?”

Your body froze when you heard the familiar deep voice echo through the library. You didn’t dare to look back, already knowing your face must be glowing with humiliation.

With wide eyes and mouth slightly ajar, Cass’ eyes went from you to the Dean, who had taken a few more steps closer and was now standing directly behind you, next to Jack. “Uh… Y/N,” Cass started, “I never disclosed any of that information to Dean,” the angel confessed.

“I don’t get it,” Jack interrupted. “I thought we all liked each other? You know, we’re a family?”

Sam cleared his throat at that, giving Jack an acknowledging smile. “Uh, yeah. We do like each other, but they’re talking about a different kind of like.”

“Like what? Like love?” the innocent boy blurted, the word love making you cringe.

“Whoa, whoa, hang on a second,” Dean took control of the room. “Y/N, you love me?” He asked, neck a little stretched out, eyes wide, and mouth hanging open with disbelief.

Shyly, you turned to face him, heart leaping when you instantly made eye contact. “Didn’t you already know that? You texted me that Cass told you.”

“What?” Cass quipped. “I did not tell him that,” he defended himself.

“No,” Dean confirmed. “When I texted you that, I was talking about the hunt.”

Your face went completely white. Just the other day, you and Cass had come home after what was supposed to be an easy hunt. You were adamant that the monster you were hunting was a vengeful spirit possessing innocent people, but it turned out to be a witch casting curses. It was that mistake that landed you in becoming a victim of said curse. A truth curse.

The witch worked at the diner where all the incidents happened. You figured that the ghost was attached to something or someone in the restaurant, but it was the witch mixing people’s drinks with her truth potion. That was how your secret was let out to Cass, but he had assured you that he wouldn’t tell anyone, that your secret was safe with him. And it was true, you told Cass how stupid you felt for not realizing that it wasn’t a spirit but a witch terrorizing the small town. You made a mistake and you weren’t the type that to brush off little mistakes like that. You took it to heart, like you were a bad hunter.

“Oh…” was all you could say at that point, feeling even more embarrassed, and stupid, that you already were.

“Uh, hey Cass, Jack, how about we go into the kitchen; give Dean and Y/N some privacy to talk.

The three of them left the room, heading into the kitchen. You were grateful at that but at the same time, you wished that he would have invited you along, but you knew that it was too late and you and Dean needed to have this talk.

“Y/N…” you flinched at the sound of your name.

Wanting to beat the bullet, you just let everything out on the table. “Look, I’m sorry okay? No one was supposed to know! I know you don’t feel the same way but I hope we can just forget all about this and pretend that it never happened. I was drugged out and didn’t really mean it,” you continued on until Dean stopped you.

“Y/N, stop. First of all, you weren’t drugged out, you were bewitched with a truth potion. Everything you said was the truth, not something you didn’t really mean.”

Your shoulders dropped knowing he was right. The only thing left now was to take the rejection. There would be no more fantasizing about all the what ifs because all those dreams were about to be crushed by the hard truth… Dean Winchester did not love you back. Great.

“Okay, I get it,” you sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I know you don’t feel the same way, so I’ll do my best to get over you,” you told him.

“What? No!” Dean exclaimed. “Y/N, you don’t have to do that. Uh…” Dean’s demeanor suddenly changed and if you were reading his body language correctly, he seemed tense, timid… cute. No! Y/N stop it! Don’t think that way! “Uh, I actually kind of…”

In the kitchen, Sam leaned against the prep table, Cass sat at the table, while Jack stood in the middle of the room. “So...” Jack started, “when you said that they were talking about a different kind of like, you mean love?”

Sam met Jack’s gaze, “basically,” he answered.

“Okay… I don’t see what the problem is. Don’t we all love each other? I mean, it’s pretty much that same thing, right?” Jack questioned.

This time Sam let out a soft chuckle. “No, Jack. Y/N is in love with Dean… romantically.”

“Oh! Okay, I get it now. So Dean is in love with Y/N and now Y/N is in love with Dean! They both are in love with each other! That’s a really good thing, right?” Jack smiled, proud of himself for final grasping the situation.

“Yes, that is correct,” Cass answered instead. “But after we killed the witch and the potion wore off, Y/N told me not to tell Dean. But she ended up telling him herself instead, albeit it was unintentional.”

“I think this will be good for them. They deserve to be happy,” Sam grinned, actually glad that the truth was all out there.

Dean struggled to admit his own feelings. He wasn’t the type to talk about his emotions but if he wanted to have a future, like a real future, with you, then he had to tell you. He had to confess to you too.

“You actually kind of what?” you asked.

“Uh, I actually kind of… you know. I like you too,” he finally said it.

It was your turn to be dumbfounded. You weren’t sure if you heard him correctly, but at the same time you didn’t want to ask him to repeat himself, scared to find out that it was merely your delusional head playing tricks on you. It couldn’t be possible that Dean felt the same way, right?

“Y/N, did you hear me?” Dean inquired.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly. I thought you said you felt the same way,” you giggled bashfully.

“Because I did.”

You froze at the confession. There was no denying it now. Dean had just confirmed that he felt the same way you did. The thought of how to proceed from there was short-circuiting your brain, not once ever thinking this was possible. Dean had said, on more than one account, that in this life, falling in love was impossible, that it would only end bad. You agreed with him, but that didn’t stop you from feeling the way that you felt, and now he was admitting that he had feelings. Those exact forbidden feelings he said hunters couldn’t have.

Having never planned for this unforeseen moment, you shifted your eyes from his to whatever you could find in the room. You were looking at an open book when you heard footsteps, and when you looked back to Dean, he was right there in front of you, his lips an inch away from yours. An audible gasp escaped you and Dean simply smiled.

“I thought you said hunters can’t have love,” you gulped, eyes trained on his invitingly pink lips.

“I say a lot of things Sweetheart, but if you’re willing, I’m willing to give this a try too. You know… give us a try.”

Averting your eyes to his, you searched for something that told you he was lying, that he didn’t mean it, but when you saw nothing but sincerity, you couldn’t help yourself. You lunged into him, arms wrapping around his neck and lips smashed against his in a needy fashion. Dean growled, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist as he hoisted you off the ground a little. When you pulled away, you were both breathless with matching dopey smiles stretched on each of your lips.

“Wow, Winchester,” you grinned.

“Better than you imagined?” he teased.

“So much better.”

“Everything okay in here?” Sam asked as he stepped back into the library, Cass and Jack in toe.

“Everything is great!” you beamed, taking your place beside your new boyfriend, hands intertwined.

“So are you two together now?” Cass questions, looking at your interlocked hands.

“Yup! All secrets are out. There’s nothing to hide anymore,” you assured.

“I see. Then can I ask you a question, since there are no more secrets?” Cass directed his question at you.

“Uh… go for it,” was you reply, not knowing you would soon regret it.

“When you were under the truth spell, you said you wanted Dean to punish you. To tie you up and punish you all night long. Spanking and choking you. I don’t understand why’d you want him to inflict pain on you.”

Your face went red as all eyes were on you. Jack had no idea what the hell was going on, but Sam gave you that horrified look, knowing he just heard something he wasn’t supposed to, or needed to know. Dean on the other hand was shocked at first, but quickly smirked at the notion.

“Cass!” you shouted it mortification. “I’m gonna kill you!” Just as you were about to attack him, a flutter of wings echoed through the room and he was gone. “Cass!”

--

A/N: You made it to the end! Thank you guys for reading! I appreciate you taking the time to read what I wrote! If you enjoyed it, please reblog to help share my fic, and leave a comment because it acts as fuel to keep writing and to keep posting! Y’all have a beautiful morning, day or night! xx

[tanyawritesstories]

Seeing Red | The Bad Batch x Reader

I told myself I could never write for the Bad Batch because I wasn't a huge fan of them (except Tech because he's babie) but I got inspired by @clonesandmoans post about how they would react to a reader on her period. Creativity struck! Hence this fic.

I would like to thank @vesperstalksclones for informing me on how birth control works because I'm 20 and still don't know how to adult. Anyway enjoy!

Warnings: Blood, mood swings, cravings, concerned bois, and plenty of fluff!

•••

You hummed whatever tune came into your head as you cleaned up around the Havoc Marauder. The boys were out on a mission and had claimed they didn’t need your help and you could just stay with the ship if you wished. You took them up on the offer and had spent the past several hours that they were gone doing any and every little thing you could to stave off boredom. Luckily, there was a whole list of things to do. You had already dusted the entire interior of the ship, cleaned every control panel, updated half the systems with their newest settings, polished up your own tools and weapons, and was now scrubbing oil stains off the hull. 

You decided on listening to music instead of trying to come up with a melody yourself. You turned the radio on inside the ship and turned it loud enough so you could hear it outside. It was a pleasant planet you had landed on, green grass as far as the eye could see, lots of hills but a limited amount of trees. There hadn’t been a speck of bad weather since you landed, yesterday morning. It was all blue skies and sun with the occasional cloud passing by. It was peaceful on this plateau and there had been no signs of danger so you thought it was ok to let your guard down for a little.

Another hour had passed and you were still giving the exterior of the ship a thorough cleaning. You were so into your work that you let out a scream when you felt a finger jab you in the side. 

“Oh my stars! You asshole!” You turned and threw your sponge at the origin of your teasing. Crosshair easily batted away the sponge before it even got close to hitting him. He was sporting a cocky smirk and his precious sniper rifle slung over one shoulder.

"Never let your guard down, Y/N," he said, his tone as cocky as his expression. You rolled your eyes and retrieved the sponge, glaring in only slight annoyance as he walked onboard the ship. Wrecker trudged aboard after him and you called a warning that you just cleaned everything. Hunter and Tech gave you polite smirks as they followed suit.

You made dinner while the boys finished their reports and other post-mission duties. You had started a fire and was stirring a pot of stew over the open flames. You tasted it a final time before shouting out to the boys that dinner was ready. As usual they came barreling out of the ship to gather around the fire. Wrecker was the first to dig in, as always, the other three waiting for you to hand them their respective bowls.

“This is so good! I don’t know how you do it, Y/N but you always make the best food,” Wrecker praised.

“Thank you, Wrecker. I appreciate it,” you said with a smile.

Hunter stood next to you, waiting for you to hand him his food when he noticed something was off about you. You smelled different. It wasn’t anything creepy, with his heightened senses he knew how you always smelled, usually it was lavender and honeysuckle. But this scent was far from that, your pheromones were strange and he swore he could almost smell blood. It wasn’t something he’d ever smelled before. He stared at you trying to figure it out.

“Hunter, you ok?” You asked. He was staring at you with a confused and worried look on his face. “Yeah, yeah I think so,” he replied. You handed him his bowl and he silently went to sit down. You found it odd but didn’t mention it as you sat and ate your own food with them.

The next day the boys were going out on a short scouting mission, leaving you behind as usual. You did a few chores and decided to take a nap, retreating to your bunk and laying on top of the covers.

It was a few hours before they came back, discussing their observations as they made their way on board. The second he entered the ship the stench of blood hit Hunter like a punch in the nose, causing him to cough. The others looked at him.

“There’s a lot of blood spilled somewhere in here,” he voiced. The four of them looked between each other.

“Where’s Y/N?”

They all hurried to your quarters, the door sliding open, revealing a horrific sight. You laid peacefully on your bunk, sound asleep, unaware that you were laying in a large pool of blood.

The four men observed the scene before them and it was Wrecker that broke the silence. “Is she dead?”

“No,” Hunter answered, he could hear your heartbeat. He kneeled by the side of your bed trying to find an injury. “She’s asleep, but why is she bleeding?” Tech joined Hunter at your bedside trying to deduce what was wrong. “Who hurt her?” Crosshair asked, he looked angry. “I’m not so certain anyone did,” Tech stated. “Then how is she bleeding if she’s not injured?” Wrecker asked, clearly concerned. 

Their chatter stirred you from your slumber and you opened your eyes, rubbing the sleep away from them. “What’s going on guys?” You opened your eyes fully to find all four of them staring at you with mixed expressions, concern, confusion, and sympathy. “What’s wrong?” you asked, also confused.

“You tell us,” Crosshair spoke first, “What happened here? Who attacked you?” Your eyebrows scrunched up. “No one attacked me. I'm completely fine,” you answered. “Then how come you’re bleeding?” Hunter prodded. “I’m not bleed-“ you cut yourself off as you realized what might be happening. You quickly sat up and saw that your suspicions were true, your period had come while you were sleeping and you were covered in blood. You put your head in your hands and groaned.

You had hoped this wouldn’t happen. You had been on birth control shots ever since you joined the Bad Batch ten months ago. You normally would be on Coruscant between missions which allowed you to get your shots on time. However this mission was taking longer than normal and your shot was overdue. What’s worse was now you had four worried and confused men to explain the whole thing to.

“I’m fine, this is normal,” you sighed, still holding your head in your hands. “How is this normal?” You heard Crosshair ask, someone shushing him seconds after. “My-ugh, I got my period,” you finally said. You didn’t want to look at them and instead just listened to the silence as they tried to understand what you had said. You really didn’t want to explain it to them, what you wanted was to change out of your bloody clothes.

“Look it up on the holonet, I’m going to change. I’ll clean the sheets when I get back.” You got up and gathered some clean clothes and headed to the refresher. You were lucky that you had an emergency stash of pads just in case something like this happened. You cleaned yourself of blood and put on clean, comfy clothes, throwing your bloodstained clothes and the sheets in a bucket of water to soak. You exited your quarters to find Tech reading aloud off the holonet about how periods work. It made you chuckle and warmed your heart that they cared about you enough to enlighten themselves on your condition. Tech finished reading and they all seemed to notice your presence at the same time.

“So you just bleed every month?” Crosshair again. You nodded. “How come this is the first time it’s happened?” Hunter questioned. “I was being given shots to prevent it but we haven't been on Coruscant for me to get them,” you explained. You saw the gears in their minds working as they processed the information.

"Is it painful?" Wrecker asked.

"Yes, it isn't at the moment but it will be. Sometimes it can get excruciating and sometimes it's just a few sharp pains," you explained. You were glad that at least they were accepting, they didn't seem weirded out and just acted like they wanted to help.

You continued your chores until the cramps kicked in, and they were bad. Hunter decided they would make dinner since you weren't feeling good. You gave them a list and sent them to the nearest market, Tech stayed behind to keep you company and get you anything you might need. He had already gotten you painkillers, the strongest they had but the pain persisted.

You groaned in pain and rolled over, curling yourself into a fetal position on your bed, which Tech had generously put new sheets on. You clutched your abdomen, "Tech!" You heard footsteps rapidly approaching your door before it slid open.

"Do you need something, Y/N?" He asked.

"Do we have a heating pad, that would really help."

"I'll go look," he smiled and hurried away. You could hear him looking through storage containers and cabinets, a few things could be heard falling on the floor. He reappeared at your door with a heating pad in his hands. “Found it.” He sat on the bed and set it up for you, making sure it heated up to a comfortable temperature. 

“Is that helping?” He asked sweetly. You hummed appreciatively, “yes, thank you so much, Tech. You’re the best.”

“You say that to all of us,” he said. You giggled, you were feeling more comfortable, but lonely, you wanted cuddles. You wrapped your arms around Tech’s middle and pulled him down to lay beside you, facing each other. He made a few confused noises and asked what you were doing.

“I want cuddles,” You said, hugging him close to you. He sighed, slightly uncomfortable with the situation. “Alright, but only because it’s you." He wormed his arms around your back and gently pulled you close to him, beginning to massage your back. Hunter, Crosshair, and Wrecker came back to find you and Tech asleep in each other’s arms.

~~

A couple days had passed and your cramps had subsided enough to do your normal work but there were all the other classic period care package items you had to deal with. At the moment you were craving the food Wrecker went out to grab. You had been wanting it all day and literally jumped for joy when Wrecker said he'd be happy to get some for you.

You were sitting in your bed reading when you heard Wrecker come back. He talked with the rest of the boys, giving them their meals before coming to your room, holding two plates of food in his hands. “Can I sit and eat with you?” He asked, smiling. You closed your book and set it aside. “Of course, Wrecker. Thank you so much for getting me this, I’ve been craving it all day.”

He plopped down next to you and handed you the plate, your mouth watering just looking at it. You hastily shoved forkfuls into your mouth, getting overwhelmed with how good it was. You’d wanted this all day and Wrecker was nice enough to go out and get it for you, especially for you, it was so sweet of him. Your thoughts along with the food were just making you happy, so much so that you started happy crying right then and there. Poor Wrecker didn’t know that you were crying happily and immediately got concerned as tears poured down your face.

“Y/N are you ok? What’s wrong?”

At the sound of your sobbing Hunter, Cross, and Tech came running to your room, finding you bawling and Wrecker sitting next to you. “What did you say to her?” Crosshair half shouted. He sat down on the other side of you and pulled your sobbing form tight to him, protectively putting his arms around you. “I didn’t say anything,” Wrecker replied, confused. “Yeah right,” Cross rolled his eyes at his brother, “She’s in tears, what did you do!”

You had noticed the boys attitudes change a little since you started bleeding, Wrecker was more sweet and gentle around you, Tech was more nit picky, Cross was more protective, and Hunter was more observant.

Hunter and Tech were just as confused as they watched Crosshair and Wrecker argue. Tech stepped in and also tried comforting you, who at this point was crying laughing at the situation but they still couldn’t discern that. Hunter asked Wrecker what happened and you finally managed to stop crying. Crosshair still had his arms around you holding you to his chest tight but not crushing you.

“Cross, you can let me go,” You managed to say. “Not until I know you’re ok.” You sighed, “I am ok, I just got excited and happy, that’s all.” He released you enough to look down at your face. “You were crying because you were happy?” He struggled to understand. “Yes, my hormones are going nuts right now, and it was just so sweet of Wrecker to bring me food,” you explained more tears slipping out of your eyes. Tech smiled sympathetically and Wrecker looked relieved. “I don’t get this,” Cross breathed. “Neither do I,” you agreed, hugging him back.

[jerisch]

King in the ring

Another amazing story I got from @writer-ofstuff​, featuring Derek of Teen Wolf.

______________________________________________________________

‘If you want to see your guy again then you will come alone to this address at midnight.'

Derek read over the note he found in Stiles dorm room, fuming that someone was dumb enough to take the younger man. The person had to know what Derek was since the note was addressed to him and not Stiles's father. Which made Derek believe the person behind this could possibly be a werewolf Hunter who is using Stiles as a way to get to Derek.

Derek had no idea who could be behind this, what werewolf hunting family they were from, if they were rogue ones, or if they even were hunters to begin with and not some other supernatural being. So Derek had no choice but to do as the inte instructed and come alone. Because when it came down to it Derek would always choose Stiles over himself if it meant the younger man he cared so much for was safe.

The address Derek was told to go to ended up being at a community auditorium where special events were often held at. An odd location to request to meet at, but Derek wasn't going to question it too much. He easily found a way inside, listening carefully for any indication of where the people and Stiles were at within the building.

Derek can hear talking in one large room, the room if he recalls right is one of the larger rooms in the auditorium where wreslting matches and leagues were often hosted there. Pushing the doors open, Derek is met with a large spotline shining on him when he steps through the doors. He winces his eyes. And brings his hand up to bloc, out the harsh light while music starts blaring within the room and a loud voice speaks.

"Our guest of honor has finally arrived. Please welcome to the ring Derek Hale! " a deep voice man spoke into the microphone. Cheers of men that filled the seats I'm the audience clapped and cheered. Derek startled at it all, wondering why he didn't sense this many people before he came into the room. Wondering if magic was behind this or something that made his werewolf senses not work as they should have.

Derek steps towards the ring, unsure what else to do. His face sat into an annoyed scowl as he climbed up into the ring and is met by a large man in the center of the ring.

He is taller than Derek by a good couple of inches. The man looks a few years older than Derek and wears only a pair of spandex orange and red designed shorts, boots and a wrestler mask that shares the same color scheme as the spandex shorts do. The man's face is obviously concealed by the mask, but Derek can see a blonde beard surrounding the man's mouth in the opening of the mask. The man has two different colored eyes, one blue eye and one green, he stares into Derek's eyes, smirking smugly at the werewolf.

"Seems like our guest has arrived for the special event tonight gentlemen." The man says, his voice sounding surprisingly smooth for such a big hairy brute that he is.

"Where is Stiles." Derek asks, cutting to the chase.

"Aww now where would be the fun in me just telling you so you can just end up retrieving him and leaving before we begin to have our match." The man says.

"You can call me Slayer by the way, in case you were wondering who I am."

"I don't care what your stupid stage name is or whatever the hell this is you have going on here, I want my boyfriend back. Now." Derek says coldly, allowing his eyes to glow alpha red to show he isn't joking around. Only the gesture doesn't seem to intimidate the big guy at all, in fact it seems to only make him seem more excited, his grin growing wider.

"Now this is why I sought you out and had to bring you here at whatever it took to do so. You got a real fire to your personality and I always wanted to see if I could take an alpha werewolf, especially one who comes from such a powerful bloodline of born werewolves." Slayer says.

"I won't fight you or play into your twisted act, I just want Stiles back." Derek replies, his voice growling, growing frustrated and annoyed with the spotlights, the loud music, and the chattering of the fans in the crowds.

"Well if you want your Stiles back then you have no choice but to play along in my special wrestling match. Which you must win by the way, as if it would be hard for you to do since you're a werewolf and I'm just a human after all." Slayer says, sounding like he is taunting Derek with that last part.

This didn't sit well with Derek, no doubt this guy was up to something. He wanted to fight a werewolf like Derek, and yet he mentioned how he was just a human and how the match should essentially be easy and in Derek's favor. Derek would have to keep his guard up, not be distracted at all since he had to do this stupid match in order to get Stiles freed from this weirdo wreslter.

"Fine, let's get this over with." Derek growls. He tosses off his leather jacket and takes a stance, only to be thrown something by Slayer.

"If you're going to do this then you're going to have to dress the part, Wolfman." Slayer says.

Derek looked down to see a purple wrestlers mask was what was thrown at him. He can smell the musk and sweat that dampened the mask which makes him disgusted by just holding it let alone putting such a nasty thing on his head.

"I am not wearing this disgusting thing." Derek tells Slayer who looks amused.

"Oh you will wear it Derek, because it is part of the act." Slayer tells him.

"Unless you don't want to free Stiles from where I have him hidden. Makes no difference to me since I would win either way." He adds smugly.

Derek's scowl darkens at the larger man. Steeling himself Derek puts the musky sweat stained and soaked mask over his head. He already feels humiliated and disgusted, but thankfully the crowd around them doesn't laugh nor mock him for wearing such a nasty thing, if anything they seem to be cheering louder than they were before Derek put the mask on.

"Let's get this over with." Derek says once he has the mask on over his head.

"Yes, let's give these men a show they'll love." Slayer says as the bell dings for the match to begin.

Derek had thought he would have this match done with already. He assumed he had the upper hand with him being a werewolf and Slayer being human, and yet the wrestler was keeping Derek on his toes, easily taking and evading Derek's attacks.

"What's wrong Wolfman, tired already?" Slayer taunts as he circles Derek and lunges at him. He catches Derek by surprise and his pulled into Slayer's arms and his face shoved into Slayer's thick hairy pits.

Derek is startled by such a move that he freezes up, feeling the sweat from Slayer's pits smear all over Derek's face. Derek is thankfully that he has the mask on so the mask absorbs some of the sweat, although he can still smell the sweaty musk from Slayer's pits. Unaware that the sweat and musk, along with what covered the mask when he put it on, has started to have an unique effect on the werewolf.

Derek feels himself getting warmer, sweat starting to form on his face under the mask. His body even sweats through his clothes, staining hid puts and the collar of his shirt.

Derek lunges forward this time, grabbing Slayer and then knocks him back into the jump of the ring. Derek's muscles expand in size as he moves, trading hits and exchanging moves with Slayer in the ring.

"Is that the best you got, Wolfman?" Slayer taunts.

"Not even close." Derek replies and moves towards him again.

The match goes on like that, the two trading hits, dodging moves, and they continue to trash talk one another. Derek's shirt ends up getting torn so he just finishes tearing it off his body, showing off how much muscle he has gained, now in equal size to Slayer. Derek's torso has also grown hairy. He absentmindedly scratches his furry upper body, his attention still focused on Slayer, determined to win this match for his fans, for Stiles he quickly corrects himself, wondering for a moment why he thought of himself having fans.

He charges and side steps out the way when Slayer throws an arm out to grab Derek to pin him down, only for Derek to do it to him.

"Looks like you're throwing the match in my favor." Derek whispers in Slayer's ear.

"You wish." Slayer tells him. Flipping their positions so now Slayer is on top of Derek.

"How predictable of you Wolfman." Slayer laughs, only to be bucked off and Derek to pin him to the floor of the ring. Derek grinds his erected bulge against Slayer's spandex covered ass. Earning a moan from the wrestling pro which piques Derek's interest, the werewolf feeling himself getting aroused.

"Like that?" Derek asks, poking his erected 13 inch cock into Slayer's ass once more. Slayer nods, and Derek's grin goes wider.

"Such a slut aren't you, in the ring and out of it." Derek muses, pulling down Slayer's spandex shorts, revealing Slayer's round hairy ass. Derek can smell how musky it smells already, it makes him eager to thrust his dick into the tight hairy asshole, so much so that he can't stop himself from doing it.

"Ooh fuck yeah." Slayer moans out loud, sounding just as eager as Derek feels as Derek starts to slowly prep Slayer's semi expanded asshole with his cock.

Each thrust Derek feels guilt that he is cheating on Stiles fade, instead growing more aroused and wanting to blow his load in such a hot piece of ass like Slayer's. More changes befall Derek. His legs grow longer till he is at equal height to the wrestler. His voice deepening as well, Derek feels his balls churning and with one more hard thrust he and Slayer both cum hard, the crowd cheering and echoing moans throughout it fills their ears, no doubt the men the audience getting off to the show Derek and Slayer had put on.

"Seems like I win Mike. Now let Stiles go" Derek says once he slides his dick out of his opponent's asshole.  He startles at knowing Slayer's name, Slayer standing up and removing his mask, revealing his handsome face for Derek to see. That and hearing how deep his voice is now also confuses him.

"Yeah, you win this time brother." Slayer, or Mike says. "But why would you want to free our new recruit?" Mike asks, he steps up to Derek, Derek realizing they're at eye level now. Before he can ask why that is Mike is kissing him. Derek freezes into the kiss, but then his mind relaxes and he returns it with just as much passion as Mike does.

Derek forgets himself, forgets being who he was before he came here with the intentions of helping Stiles. Now Derek, Dean as he thinks of himself now. Recalls his new life, being a pro wrestling duo with his twin brother Mike. Mike, known as the Slayer, and Dean the Wolfman, together they make up the team Wolfman Slayer.

Derek removes his mask after the two twin brothers kiss each other. Revealing his face looks the same as Mike's. The two sharing the same short spiky blonde hair, the same trimmed beard along their angular and square jawline and cheeks.

The only differences between them is their eyes Derek's eyes remain the same hazel color they were from before, Dean being hairier than Mike, and his voice much more deeper than Mike's as well.

"You're right brother." Dean says. "Not sure what I was thinking there in wanting to free him. He will make a hot wrestler for our league." Derek says, a grin on his face.

After they wrap up the show and send the crowd home Dean and Mike head to the locker rooms, where they find the young man Mike too. Stiles is bound by old jockstraps, one even forced into his mouth which Dean gives his brother a questioning look.

"What? He wouldn't stop talking so I had to get him to shut up." Mike shrugs.

Dean huffs out an amused laugh and approaches Stiles, who seems to react by trying to break free of his restraints.

"Just relax my guy, you're going to enjoy this as much as we are." Dean tells him, not recognizing that this was a man he once loved and cared about when he was is old self, now all Dean wants to do is use his and his brother's special gift and turn Stiles into another dumb brute wreslter they can use in their wrestling league.

Later as the two twins walk out, a 6'5" brick wall of a man walks out behind them, Tank as he is called in the ring and out it, smiles dim wittedly at his two friends and bosses before taking his leave to hit the gym, with Dean following behind him, Mike however looking at the two as they leave the locker room, pleased with his work in creating two new wrestlers for him to use and gaining a twin. He is eager to see how they both do when they have a real wrestler league when Mike finishes transforming more men that the two once knew before Mike transformed them.

[anachronisticcrab]

Source of Nico’s trust issues

This is one of, like, 20 posts that have been sitting in my drafts for ages, so I hope you enjoy this

1-No one had ever kept a promise to Nico. Think about it:

Percy promised to take care of Bianca. She died

Bianca promised she’d be right back. She died

Bianca promised she’d never leave him. She abandoned him for the hunters

Minos promised that he had good intentions. He manipulated Nico for 6 months, and almost talked him into murder

Minos promised that he was trying to help Nico get his big sister back. He was only talking to Nico to help himself

Hades promised he wouldn’t hurt Percy, and that he’d tell Nico about his mother if he brought Percy to talk. He lied on all three accounts

No wonder he was terrified when Jason promised he wouldn’t tell anyone about Nico’s sexuality. He doesn’t believe promises anymore, since no ones ever kept theirs to him

2-He has been abandoned a lot. Like, a lot. Not always on purpose or with the intent to hurt him, but it still hurts to be abandoned

Bianca abandoned him for the hunters

Percy and Grover ditched him as soon as they could

His mother died (not her fault in the slightest, but it still would crush someone. Plus Nico didn’t know if she’d actually died for a long time)

Hades left him and his family behind in the 30s. It’s in the nature of gods, and he had a kingdom to run, but he left after Maria was pregnant with Nico. It’s doubtful that he spoke to her until they moved to America after Nico was born

In the Lotus and in the military school, all he knew was that he had Bianca, and the two of them were orphans. They didn’t know if there parents didn’t want them, or if they had died or what

The ‘lawyer’ (Alecto) abandoned him and his sister in a hotel for seventy years

3- His father and Minos

Hades hasn’t been the best dad to his son. He said he wished that Nico had died instead of Bianca, broke promises to Nico, took all of his memories and locked him in a magical hotel for 70 years

I mean, he basically put Nico on a shelf until he thought Nico’d be useful

After all that, it’s not shocking that he has trust issues. It’d be weirder if he didn’t

Plus, Minos was the only person Nico trusted for 6 months. He stood by Nico after his sisters death, and Nico thought he was trying to help him get his sister back. Only, Minos wasn’t ever trying to help him, and he was manipulating Nico into getting revenge on Daedaulus

After being lied to by the only person he’d trusted in months, it’s not shocking he had serious trust issues

4-Rumours spread about him/peoples opinions of his dad

After he left CHB, there were a lot of rumours spread about him. We all know that

I mean, you crash land in the sun chariot in the lake escorted by an Olympian, the hunters of Artemis, a daughter of Zeus who used to be a tree, a satyr and Percy Jackson, then a few weeks later create a 20 foot fissure in the middle of the dining pavilion and leave camp for six months, people talk

On top of that, when he came back to CHB, he fought in a battle by an entrance to the labyrinth, summoned skeletons, almost passed out, and then he banished someone’s soul. I mean, people are gonna talk about all of that

Any rumours spread about you suck, but if they are told in a place where you are supposed to be safe and accepted, it would be way worse

Also, Nico knew a lot of those people, and they were friendly, but now they’re spreading rumours about him because of who his dad is, and that’s absolutely horrible

He genuinely believes that he doesn’t belong in this camp, largely due to peoples prejudice against Hades

5- Influence from the 30s

He’s gay. It’d be unthinkable in his time, and if he told anyone about his feelings, he would be arrested, or worse

I also Headcanon him as trans, so that’s another reason why he doesn’t want to get close to anyone

He obviously knows that things are different now, but that doesn’t mean that they’re perfect. He did go to a pretty big military school, so there were definitely some homophobes and transphobes there who’d be complete assholes

I feel like his thought process about CHB would be like ‘I’m already a Hades kid, I’m sure they’d all love to know I’m also gay and trans. That’d be perfect, right?’

Also, I hc him as Jewish, which wouldn’t be the best thing to go shouting about in the 30’s

These are just some ideas of where his trust issues come from, because it’s not a day unless I end up analyzing the mental process and life of my favourite characters

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, jimtremor!

For @jimtremor, who asked for basically anything. I did my best with that.

Read On AO3

*****

Useful Information

“Mr. McCall will be in the North Dorm and you Mr. Stillinski will go to the East.” The director of student affairs passes them Welcome packets, across his desk. Hn,

They both start to protest but Deaton holds up a quieting hand and stands, quickly moving them both out of his office. “I’m sure you’ll both adjust just fine. If there’s anything you need, my office hours are Monday and Friday 8am to 2pm.” He closes the door in their faces

****

“This is the stupidest idea ever,” Stiles says dropping his pack just inside the door to his new dorm. Stiles notices right away that the room is painfully neat for a college dorm.

“You can’t just throw people together and expect them to form proper pack bonds.”

He flops onto the empty bed across the room from what he assumes is his assigned Alpha and waits what he’s told is the appropriate amount of time for his new roommate to respond but the wolf just flicks hazel eyes at him, before going back to reading his novel.

“Scott— my best friend Scott, we applied to this place together. He’s going to be an Alpha and I’m going to be his bad-ass Emissary.” The wolf continues to ignore him and after a few minutes, Stiles huffs and starts unpacking.

It takes him a few minutes more to realize that his dorm is amazing. There’s a fridge. Not a mini fridge. A full-sized fridge in what might serve as a very quaint breakfast nook. The open area has a desk, a TV and closets next to the beds. When he opens the door to his, he finds a dresser and plenty of room for his meager belongings. His dad had been very proud of the fact that he entered college with a change of clothes, a martial arts trophy, and a six-pack (abs not beer). So Stiles was carrying on the family tradition. Sort of.

There’s a bathroom and if Stiles didn’t know any better a tub big enough to house jacuzzi jets.

“This place is amaaa—"

His roommate reaches over and clicks on a small iPhone dock that looks like a radio. It starts blasting some sort of German metal. Stiles stares at him for a moment before pulling out his grimoires ‘fine be that way then.’ he thinks, flipping through the pages to a spell he needs for his next class.

Scott is so going to hear about this dick.

****

“—a serious neat freak, and he acts like he can’t be bothered to answer even the simplest of questions. I swear Scotty we need to go over somebody’s head. It has to be a mistake that they split us up.”

“Derek Hale!?” Scott suddenly shouts sitting up from Allison’s lap. Stiles glances around hoping his best friend’s dorky exclamations aren’t drawing attention annnd yep people are staring.

“As in Hale Observatory? As in Hale Hall? AS IN THE HALE EXPLORATORY MEDICAL DEPARTMENT FOR THE SUPERNATURALLY INCLINED? The people who might be able to find a way to cure me?”

He says the last part much quieter. He’d worked harder than he ever had at anything to get into this private college. Hoping against hope that they’d somehow turn him back human. It wasn’t that Scott didn’t love every minute of being a wolf, it just came with a lot of baggage, including possibly outliving everyone important to you. Every human anyway.

“There’s no known cure for lycanthropy,” Allison says quietly.

Stiles glances up at the heavens, his ears burning. “Yeah my roommate is Derek Hale. Geez Scotty it’s not that big of a deal.” Scott stares at him as if he’s grown a second head.

“You—you’ve lived your whole life here and you think rooming with a Hale is not a big deal? The Hales own half the town and probably your house Stiles!” Scott’s volume is going up again and Stiles tries not to roll his eyes.

“Having a rich family doesn’t make you a big deal Scotty.”

Scott sputters his eyes going to Allison in a desperate plea for back-up. She just shrugs. Right. She just moved to Beacon hills so she wouldn’t know.

“HaAVing A RIcH FaMILY dOEsn’t maKe You a bIG DeAL.” Scott says half snidely, half mockingly under his breath.

Stiles cocks his head to the side, like he’s trying figure out who the crazy person was possessing his best friend and they begin one of their famous silent conversations.

‘I’m not an idiot’ Scott thinks at him

‘I know Scott but really it’s no big deal. He’s like a totally normal asshole. A painfully neat asshole.’

‘Think you can maybe talk to him about the whole *my best friend is a werewolf who didn’t ask to be a werewolf thing*? Maybe mention that your best friend is desperate for some guidance as to where to find a cure’

‘There’s no cure for werewolf-ism Scott! And Scotty. Friend. Buddy. Pal. I can’t even talk to him about where to put my toothbrush in the bathroom. Apparently it’s important to keep your toothbrush as far away from the toilet as possible. He even has this little protective cover on his.’

“Huh. I just thought of something.” Allison says breaking into the silent conversation. “Maybe they want you to be the new Hale emissary.”

Stiles and Scott both turn to stare at her.

“Huh” they both say

She pretends to study, but Stiles can totally see the dimple at her cheek deepen.

****

Derek is particular about his space, and his things. It’s normal for a wolf. Even at boarding school they hadn’t made him share a room, although maybe that had more to do with the hefty donation his mother had made and less to do with his werewolf sensibilities.

Stiles is in his space for less than a day and he’s somehow everywhere. He smells woodsy- like wet leaves and rain when he finally decides to shower off the cheap body spray. He puts his toothbrush in the wrong spot on the sink and unpacks his one box of belongings.

There’s a pile of spell books on the floor under his bed and pots of herbs line the windows. He doesn’t know what’s in the jars in his fridge and he doesn’t want to know. Instead, he politely tries to tidy Stiles’ things, but it seems like they just gravitate back to where Stiles left them. He does his best not to growl whenever the emissary walks into the room.

His annoyance level is already high. The welcome packet was clear that he was meant to start a pack with this kid. That they should spend their time working together and bonding for the sake of their future pack.

Everything about him was a mess, and Derek didn’t do messy. Not anymore. He’s half asleep when the scent of arousal teases at his senses. He wants to growl but he’s done that for the last several hours. This was definitely not happening.

****

‘Use your finger. Just one. You should be able to find it pretty easily.’

Stiles groaned into his pillow. He was on a dry spell. And when he was on a dry spell he always thought of Lydia. His other best friend, the girl who helped him find his G-spot. He’d flirted with every big dark-haired wolf he came across, but they’d all turned him down. It was strange. It was almost like they were actively trying to avoid even talking to him.

Stiles reached into his pajama bottoms, the memory of Lydia’s very thorough instruction all those years ago is still his favorite, although watching Derek workout was a close second.

“If you’re gonna jerk it, at least have the courtesy to do it when I’m not here. Stiles jerked his hand from his underwear at the miserable tone in Derek’s voice.

“Um..”

“Yeah, I can smell it. For days.”

Stiles groaned and dragged his pillow over his head.

‘who thought the human/werewolf hybrid dorm was a good idea anyway?’

****

Derek keeps his face neutral as he listens to Dr Deaton’s analysis of werewolf mating practices. He’s a little more accurate than the usual crowd but there were still things he’s getting wrong. The emissaries were always considered some kind of authority but human experts on werewolf mating rituals tended to start off wondering if human werewolves really grew knots whenever there was a full moon.

Deaton is at least trying to debunk a lot of the weird lore humans tended to apply to werewolves and it sort of gives Derek hope. Maybe this year he *won’t* have to listen to a half assed lecture on werewolf anatomy and moon cycles. Derek’s hope deflates when he hears the words Transitory Bite.

The last time he put a temporary mark on someone it almost started a war between hunters and humans and gotten him shipped off to boarding school. His mother had kept him out of Beacon Hills for three years. It had taken joining forces with his uncle to convince her he wouldn’t make the same mistakes. Now he was being told to mark some random dorky kid like it wasn’t a total imposition. He had a right to choose or not choose to mark someone and his mother needed to understand that he wasn’t interested in his life spinning out of control a second time.

“I’m not doing it.” Derek gets up to leave but Deaton steps in front of him hands raised. “I assure you Mr. Hale this is necessary. Starting a pack and choosing a mate can be extremely difficult. A transitory bite will allow you to test your compatibility with the mate you were matched with.”

“It won’t work” he growls eyeing Stiles

Stiles’ face is bright red, and he keeps his eyes on the toe of his sneakers. He’d been wearing them since high school. They were his favorite pair. He wishes he’d thought to clean them sometime in the last six years.

So that’s why everyone had been treating him so strangely. He was probably Derek Hale’s mate. He really should have read the welcome packet. He tunes out the rest of the conversation and tries to ignore the hot twist of humiliation in his stomach.

Derek tries to focus on what Deaton is saying but Stiles scent is rapidly changing. The burnt ash flavor of Distress and Despair fills up his senses and it’s all he can do not to gather the entire boy into his arms and run away with him.

“I don’t need this there are—there are plenty of wolves who would love—love to have me for a mate.” Stiles gathers his things as he tries to save face. It’s bad enough this is happening, but he can’t bring himself to look at the other pairs.

“Fine”

Stiles is almost to the door when that single word freezes him in place. He swallows and waits.

Derek moves him back against the nearest wall, with just a few intimidating steps. His hand lands on Stiles’ shoulder, his fingers brushing against the skin at the base of his neck. Derek’s hand slides up the side of his throat, and Stiles sways toward him. He growls at his traitorous body and forces every muscle to stay stiff as a board. The corner of Derek’s mouth kicks up and then he’s leaning in, letting his teeth scrape across the smooth skin at the base of Stiles’ neck.

Stiles gives an unmanly squeak when Derek’s teeth skin in, the pain just barely registering before he feels the brief swipe of Derek’s tongue across the wound. Derek stares at the mark for a long time before turning and leaving.

***

Stiles only has two classes with Scott, but he and Derek share the exact same itinerary. Even though Derek can’t really do the magic part, they’re expected to show a united front, so he sits off to the side and glares at everything and everyone.

Stiles spends his time doodling the different angles of Derek’s head during each class into the margins of his grimoire. When there’s wolf lore he flicks his eyes across the room to Derek. His can almost tell by the set of Derek’s brows whether the stuff being taught is accurate or total bullshit.

He tries to connect with the other students in his classes, but they tended to cut the conversations short or avoid him altogether. He’s pretty certain this only happens when Derek is around. He starts to feel boxed in, like the only reason he was there was to be slotted into the Hale pack, like everything about his future had already been decided. His whole week had been classes more about pack politics and somewhat less about exploring his abilities as an emissary.

Lydia listened patiently while he complained. It was a call that had lasted all the way across campus, and back to his dorm. She wanted to roll her eyes. For a kid who was curious about everything, Stiles hadn’t shown the slightest interest in learning about the alpha he’d been assigned to.

Stiles complained constantly that he was always around. Which was technically exactly how he was supposed to behave toward his potential mate. Lydia was testing herbal mixtures. Hopefully the small satchels would give Stiles some semblance of privacy or at least get Derek to give Stiles some space.

“You need to read the welcome packet Stiles. It’ll help you adjust to living with a wolf. And come to the party tonight.” Lydia says flipping through her notes. “I’ll introduce you to some guys who definitely won’t say no.”

He keeps glancing at Derek, but Derek’s attention stays on his novel, his thumb, sliding to leisurely turn pages. Derek’s pretending not to listen again, so he decides to be that guy. He refused to stay trapped in whatever game Derek was playing.

“Yeah. I’ll be there. I’m really looking forward to getting dicked down again” Derek doesn’t look up, but Stiles can practically feel the way he pauses in the middle of a page turn.

He hides a smile and goes to brush his teeth.

****

Lydia flits through the party commiserating with her numerous slightly-better-than-facebook acquaintances. They make it to the kitchen with Stiles only being handed three phone numbers and groped four times. He briefly wonders if other potential alpha mates are treated this way and then he remembers that he kinda wants to be treated this way.

Stiles is wearing his best button-up and his sluttiest pair of jeans. He fully intends to end the night with his legs wrapped around someone, anyone. It’s a surprise when they leave the kitchen with their drinks and Stiles is brought up short by the feeling of eyes on him. It only takes him a minute to spot his alpha across the room.

Derek is slouched onto the frat house’s well-worn couch like some kind of artist’s dream. He’s wearing tight black jeans ripped in all the right places and a leather jacket. His gaze starts to heat up as Stiles’ eyes hungrily catalogue every inch of him. Stiles eyes settle on the bulge in the tight jeans and Derek just lets his legs relax open. Stiles’ mouth goes dry and his dick gives a hard twitch.

Stiles does his best to ignore the feeling of the wolf’s eyes on him. It’s annoying that Derek can’t seem to make up his mind about ignoring him.

***

Stiles loses count of how many drinks he’s had and that’s when he gets the best idea. He can feel the wolf’s eyes on him as he moves across the room and one of the frat brothers steps into his space. Price or Preston something. He doesn’t even bother listening to whatever the guy is saying, just steps close and bites his lip.

Preston’s eyes drop to them and immediately his tone changes and he wraps an arm around Stiles’ waist. Stiles grins and runs his hands up Preston’s chest. Preston draws him close.

“I love the way emissaries smell,” he says leaning down and taking a deep breath against the side of his neck. Stiles laughs, because at best he smells like Axe shampoo mixed with a litany of the various herbs they have to learn to mix. It’s not a great combination. He tries to put some distance between him and the wolf, but Preston keeps, pulling him close and grinding against him.

Stiles thinks blearily that he’d like to get laid but not in the middle of a werewolf frat party and definitely not with the guy who thinks Axe and sage are a great combination. He tries to tell Preston this but Preston just keeps rambling on and Stiles’ alcohol soaked brain reminds him in his fourth grade teacher’s voice that it’s important to be polite and listen when people are talking.

This was a bad idea.

He suddenly feels Derek is next to him, and he wants to tell him that he has the prettiest eyes, but Preston is still talking, and he has to keep pretending to listen.

“I need to have a word with my roommate” Derek’s eyes flash as he glances at Stiles before stepping between him and Preston. Stiles watches as Preston stutters and stumbles, like a fan meeting their idol. He tilts his head and drops his shoulders in some parody of submissive behavior. Stiles scoffs and glances around the room. None of the humans are paying attention but all of the wolves are watching them closely.

He watches Derek tilt up Preston’s chin with one wicked black claw. “A Beta should know better” He pulls back his lips in a parody of a smile and shows his long sharp teeth. Preston swallows and raises his hands as if he only just realized he’d been flirting with an Alpha’s future mate. He moves as slowly as he can and backs out of the room one step at a time. Derek watches him until he’s certain the other wolf is gone and turns back to Stiles.

Red begins to seep from behind his irises and his smile turns hard. “I’ll kill anyone who touches you.”

He says it softly, but he’s still showing Stiles his teeth.

Stiles holds his gaze ignoring the little thrill he gets from the way Derek is looking at him. “I’m not your property wolf.”

“You are” Derek responds his eyes fully red. Derek’s hand settles around the back of Stiles’ neck, his thumb just barely brushing against the still-tender mark.

Stiles takes a shuddery breath, unable to break the hold Derek’s possessive gaze has on him. He relaxes his shoulders tilts his head back just slightly. It’s enough of an invitation but Derek doesn’t move to kiss him. Instead, he leans in until his lips against Stiles’ ear.

“Careful who you tease,” he breathes

Stiles shivers, wanting to call out to his alpha. Derek is long gone when he’s finally able to catch his breath.

****

Stiles doesn’t light the herbs Lydia mixed. He was tired of living like some reclusive monk.

He knows that Derek will probably know immediately. He knows the smell of sex could linger but he doesn’t care. He wants Derek to know and he wants Derek to come for him. He imagines the wolf coming home right when he’s just about there. He knows he’d probably run not because of embarrassment if Derek saw him.

He’d run because he knew Derek would chase. He’d run because he wanted to be caught. Stiles lets his imagination free. It’s been a week and he’s tired of caring about Derek’s sensibilities.

It would be a real hunt. Derek would simply stay on his heels nipping at him playfully, claws tearing off bits of his clothes. Stiles would run until he couldn’t breathe and then Derek would show himself. The wolf first. Its sleek black fur would glow under the moon and Stiles would lie back and tilt his chin up.

“Alpha.” He’d whisper, and Derek would take his human form naked and proud under the moon, he’d stare down at Stiles with a cocky grin. He’d enjoy watching Stiles submit to him.

“Stiles,” he’d growl and Stiles’ cock would stand up.

Stile bit into his palm, his fist flying over his cock, the sweet-smelling lotion he used as lube squishing between his fingers and making a lewd sound with every movement of his hand.

Derek’s teeth would sink into him properly this time and claim him, claim him, claim him…

Stiles gasped and came all over his fist.

Fuck. He needed to get laid before this got out of control. Before it got more out of control.

****

“So. Uhhh, about yesterday…”

Stiles is standing awkwardly in front of Derek’s bed. It’s all he’s been able to say for a good five minutes. That and some version of ‘Huuhmn. mn.’ Because Derek is currently shirtless. His feet are hooked into the openings between the bars on the baseboard of his bed and he’s burning through crunches like there’s a delicious zero calorie chocolate cake waiting for him if he hits a thousand.

His eyes skitter around the room because he knows if he keeps his eyes on Derek Hale for more than a few seconds he’ll end up embarrassing himself. He drags his palm from his chest down, just barely remembering to stop before he hits the waist of his jeans. Even he can still smell the lingering scent of sex in the room. He’s almost certain Derek’s lip curls up slightly at this but it’s hard to tell, what with all the sweat and muscles flexing.

It’s another ten minutes before Derek finishes his workout. Stiles completely forgot what he wanted to talk about. He just stands quietly watching Derek’s tight abs. When he manages to meet Derek’s eyes the wolf is glaring at him, and Stiles tries to open a hole in the floor with his mind. He doesn’t try too hard. The power of his will had been known to surprise him from time to time.

The wolf moves around him with a disgusted sniff and heads for the bathroom.

He looks even more annoyed when he exits the shower. It’s a full 3 minutes of Derek staring at the back of his neck before he finally lets himself meet the wolf’s eyes.

“What?” he asks. It’s easy enough to pretend he doesn’t already know. Derek’s kind deeply respects druids, just not Stiles shaped Druids apparently.

“You’re an Alpha-Mate”

Stiles blinks. This is first time since he was marked that Derek brought up the subject. And he sounded kinda… Pissed.

“Sooo….?” Stiles draws the word out to emphasize his confusion.

You. Are. An Alpha's. Mate.” Derek’s words come out a harsh growl that makes Stiles feel cold everywhere. Cold and Embarrassed.

“I’m not the one…”

“I’m not the one throwing myself at every wolf I come across!” Derek snarls.

Stiles cheeks pinken, but he hold’s Derek’s terrible gaze.

“I’m not the one denying my mate.” He says the words as quietly as he can, but they seem to echo loudly in the room once he’s said them.

It’s Derek’s turn to take on color.

Stiles doesn’t regret saying it.

He regrets not following when Derek walks out.

****

Allison and Scott both tell him he’s an idiot. For an hour. And then they make him read the welcome packet. He realizes after his third read-through he might owe Derek an apology.

When he gets back to their room Derek is organizing his herb garden. He keeps arranging them first by name, then color. He clears his throat and Derek pauses but doesn’t turn around.

“Did you know that wolves get really territorial about people they live with? That they only like certain people in their personal space?”

Derek moves from arranging plants to slotting his books into the low bookshelf next to his bed.

“And did you know that a wolf’s mate should probably never throw themselves at other wolves?”

He hears a quiet scoff and Derek finally looks at him over his shoulder.

“You’re asking me, a wolf if I know about wolves?”

Stiles shrugs and continues “Because I didn’t know.” He says stepping up behind him and wrapping his arms around Derek’s waist.

“You should have read the welcome packet Stiles”

Stiles lets out a choked laugh and presses his mouth to the back of Derek’s neck.

“Yeah. I know. It really is full of useful information.”

[wellthatjusthappend]

Rainbowfish merjay just kinda wishing people would respect things like consent and boundaries regarding his scales.

Gah, rainbow fish always made me super upset. There’s sharing, and then there’s other demanding you harm yourself for other’s benefit. What a thing to put in a kid’s book. 

Here you go!

****

Slade was on a hunt for the young Mer with the diamond scales.

They weren’t actually diamond of course- they’d probably be less valuable if they were- but instead made from some sort of mutation that particular Mer had which caused some of its scales to crystallize. One merchant had described it like being able to hold every rainbow that would ever exist in your hand. 

Slade wasn’t quite that romantic, but he had gotten so see a small one up close and he could see how they could mesmerize someone. 

“I’ll give you half a million for every scale you bring me,” the merchant told him, “More, if you can get bigger ones than these.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Slade said.

Some research had shown that that the scales might be worth possibly even more than that. The longer they were on the market, the more the demand grew. 

Slade had to find the Mer.

It was a lot more difficult than he’d anticipated, the little fish had gone into hiding. However, Slade wasn’t discouraged. He was a seasoned hunter, he knew he’d fine him eventually. 

It was the scales that gave him away in the end. 

Mer frequently lost scales when they rubbed up against rocks and coral. It didn’t hurt them anymore than human losing a few strands of hair in a brush. Slade notices that some of the scales were sticking weirdly to the rocks and found them covered in tar. Rubbing them off revealed that tell tale shimmer he’d been searching for. 

“Clever fish,” Slade hummed, tucking the scales into his pocket.

When he found the Mer, he was fighting for his life from a band of hunters.

That wouldn’t do. 

Slade dove into the fray and helped the Mer dispatch his would-be killers. Slade could see the logic: kill the Mer, take the tail and you would be the richest person on the planet. But it was short-sighted and wasteful, and Slade had no qualms about relieving the fools of their lives. 

“You alright, kid?” Slade asked.

“Like you care,” snarled the Mer, “Don’t lie, you’re after me just like the rest of those scum.”

It was hard to tell how much of the Mer’s scales had the mutation with the tar covering his tail, but Slade’s estimate was ‘enough’. There was also a streak of that shimmering silver in the boy’s black hair that suggested that the mutation wasn’t restricted to his scales. 

What bothered Slade was the scars. Now, it wasn’t unusual for a Mer to have plenty of scars, but this poor kid was covered in them, especially on his tail. Slade could tell there were whole patches where scales had been forcibly ripped off and never grew back. The boy’s color was weak, and his hair and tail gone slightly dull from the stress of prolonged hunting.

Wasteful, Slade thought angrily at his fellow hunters. The utter fools were ruining what could otherwise be a rich- and self renewing- treasure.

“I’m fucking done with the whole lopt of you,” growled the Mer, “I’m tired of assholes thinking they can just come up and take shit without asking. I’m tired of people thinking they can destroy my homes looking for scales I’ve shed. I’m fucking tired of having to look over my shoulder and finding fuckers like you looking to take a piece of me.”

“Understandable,” Slade nodded, backing off just far enough to let the Mer have his space.

“Here, just,” Slade held back a wince as the boy ripped off one of his scales without looking and extending it to Slade, “just take this and get the fuck away from me.”

The scale was twice the size of the one the Merchant had. Slade bet it was worth 2 million at least. 

He made no move to take it.

“What’s you name, little rainbow fish?” Slade asked.

“What’s it to you?” the Mer sneered. When Slade just held his gaze, the boy looked away and muttered, “...Jason.”

“My name is Slade Wilson,” he said, “And though it’s true I was contracted to get a few of your scales, I see no reason to hurt you by doing so.”

“What are you talking about?” Jason said wearily. Slade noted the way he’d tensed when he’d heard his name; so he wasn’t unaware of Slade’s reputation. Good.

“Let’s make a deal,” Slade said, a slow smile beginning to spread across his face, “If you let me have some of your scales when they naturally fall out, then I will provide you with absolute protection.” 

“You’re just greedy like the rest of them,” Jason wrinkled his nose in distaste. 

“I am greedy,” acknowledged Slade, “But perhaps not quite ‘like the rest of them’; If you came to live with me, your space would be your own, and I would never enter it unless you invited me there. I would never ‘harvest’ from you, and the only scales I would take would be the ones you freely give. If you decide to keep the scales you shed to yourself, then I won’t take them from you or allow anyone else to do so.”

A flicker of longing crossed the Mer’s face for one moment before it was hidden behind suspicion again. 

“Why would you do that? That doesn’t sound like a profitable situation. What’s really in it for you,” Jason asked, glaring at him.

“On the contrary, if you kept your scales to yourself it would only drive the price and value of them up because of their scarcity,” Slade said, shrugging, “And as the only supplier, that could only benefit me. In exchange, I would do everything in my power to ensure your happiness and safety.”

Jason shifted, his tail swirling around him testily as he thought it over, fingers absentmindedly tracing a scar on his flank where several scales had been ripped off by force. What wasteful fools. 

“Say I agree, what happens if I change my mind and want to leave later on?” Jason finally said.

Slade had to stop a triumphant smile from spreading across his face.

“You would be free to leave at any time,” he assured him. It might even be beneficial if Jason did decide to leave him for a brief time- just long enough to come swimming back into Slade’s arms at a taste of the brutality of life without his protection.

“Alright,” Jason said, raising his head and meeting his eyes, “You have a deal.”

[thatfanficstuff]

My Alpha - Sam and Dean

Pairing: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader; Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader. No cheating.

Warnings: a/b/o dynamics, angst

A/N: This was for @ ne-gans birthday challenge. It’ s a couple of days late because nerve pain sucks. My prompt was a/b/o with the Winchester brothers. It’s my first time writing a/b/o though I love reading it so hopefully I didn’t make a complete mess of it. I’ve had this idea for ages. Enjoy. 

***

You were an Omega in a world of Alphas so you’d learned early on to take care of yourself. To put the assholes in their place. To not be the typical, obedient Omega. It was a necessity to survive in your world. Your father owned a bar frequented by hunters. And no, there wasn’t an antler to be found.

The people that frequented your father’s establishment hunted far more dangerous prey than deer and bunny rabbits. It wasn’t exactly the type of lifestyle that attracted betas and omegas. So, you took your suppressants and kept your distance when necessary. You had fully intended to take over the bar from your father when he became too old to run it. And then Sam happened.

Sam Winchester was quiet and polite. He was cautious and calm. And he sure didn’t let anyone talk any shit to you before he even knew who you were. He was the complete opposite of everything you’d learned to expect from an Alpha hunter. 

It started as one drink at a booth in the corner at the end of your shift. Then he kept coming back to see you. He was always alone which you found odd considering you never heard tale of one brother without the other being involved. On the other hand, Alphas tended to not want others of their kind around when they were courting an Omega.

Now that you’d been properly claimed and marked, Sam was taking you home to meet Dean. Your leg bounced as you watched the scenery passing by the window of your car. Sam had flown in to meet you so the two of you could drive back to the bunker. If everything went according to plan, he intended for the two of you to live there together. You just had to get the approval of big brother first.

A warm hand settled on your thigh and you glanced over to find Sam watching you with a worried expression. You bit at your lip and did your best to calm yourself, but even you could smell the anxiety pouring from you. “Sorry.” Your face heated and you ducked your head.

“There’s no reason to worry, ‘mega. Dean’s going to love you. And if he doesn’t, we’ll just live somewhere else.”

You nodded once and gripped his hand in yours. “I just don’t want to cause any trouble.”

“You’re never any trouble, Y/N.” He turned his hand so he had a better hold on yours and pulled it over to his lap. “Everything will be fine. Just wait and see.”

As soon as Sam said the words, you cringed. You weren’t overly superstitious but you did believe in not tempting fate. However, even you couldn’t have predicted how quickly everything would go so horribly wrong.

The moment you stepped out of the car you were engulfed in a warm, rich scent that was a mix of leather, whiskey and something completely undefinable. It was like you’d stepped into a cloud of your favorite cologne and you wished you could stay there all day. Your eyes drifted closed as you got lost in the aroma and you leaned against the side of the car.

“You okay, ‘mega?” Sam’s rich voice interrupted the near religious experience you were having.

You jerked upright and nodded once. Your tongue darted out to lick your lips. “Yeah. I’m fine, Alpha.”

His brow furrowed as he looked you over. Before he could say anything else, another deeper, rougher voice invaded the space. “I was beginning to wonder if you were going to make it today, Sammy.”

You tore your gaze away from your alpha and immediately located the new presence in the room. You’d seen pictures of Dean, images on Sam’s phone that he shared when he told you stories about his brother so his attractiveness came as no surprise. The piercing eyes, the confident demeanor, were just as you’d expected. But his presence…well, that was something else entirely.

The brothers were talking, greeting each other, when Dean’s gaze shifted to meet yours. You gasped at the force of desire that drove straight through you. There was nothing sexual about the feeling. It wasn’t lust. It was the desire that came from wanting to be with someone. The want to be close to them, to share their space. It was the need that an omega felt for their alpha.

Your head spun with the realization. What was happening?

“Y/N,” Dean said with a nod of his head. And dear god, that voice saying your name…

Now, that sent a jolt of pure lust through you. He put his attention back on his brother but not before you caught the way the corner of his mouth tipped up. “Your omega looks exhausted, Sam. We can catch up tomorrow.”

Dean left the garage and Sam was at your side a moment later. “You doing okay? Dean’s right, you look a little lost.”

You cleared your throat and gave him a soft smile. “I’m fine, Sam. It’s just a lot to take in.”

He pulled you into his side and pressed a kiss to your head. You did your best to swallow your guilt as he took your hand in his and led you into the bunker.

***

The bunker had been dark and quiet for hours, yet you still couldn’t sleep. Your brain refused to quiet and instead raced between thoughts of Sam and his brother. When you’d made the trip, you’d been terrified Dean wouldn’t want you around. Now, you were afraid he would. You couldn’t imagine a more acute torture than living with the two alphas.

Finally, you sighed and slipped from the bed, doing your best not to disturb Sam. He’d fuss over you and that was the last thing you wanted right now. You padded into the kitchen and got yourself a glass of water. You drained it in several long swallows then refilled the glass. Your mind drifted as you leaned against the sink and it took you a moment to realize that the rich scent that had surrounded you since you arrived had grown thicker.

You sucked in a breath and stilled. The string that seemed to connect you to Dean drew taught and you could track his progression to you without even turning around. He stopped inches behind you and inhaled deeply. Your heart raced and you gripped the edge of the sink with your free hand.

“What are you doing up, omega?”

A shudder went through you and you bit your lip. “You shouldn’t call me that.”

He stepped closer, all but eliminating the distance between you. He leaned forward, his body creating a cage around you. His mouth laid next to your ear. “Omega.”

You spun then, gasping when you came face to face with him. “Sam’s my alpha.”

Dean made a sound of agreement. “Of course, he is, sweetheart. But so am I.”

“That’s…that’s not possible.”

And there it was again. That smirk of his that turned your knees to jelly. Damn it, Dean Winchester. “Possible or not, it’s happening. Don’t tell me you can’t feel this. You’re mine, Y/N.”

You wanted to argue. To scream at him and tell him he was wrong. To leave you alone because you loved Sam. You chose Sam. This thing between you and Dean shouldn’t even exist. And it was then that you realized what was happening. Dean Winchester was your true alpha. Son of a bitch.

***

A couple of weeks had passed and you and Dean continued to dance around each other. You seemed to have come to an unspoken agreement to keep the nature of your connection from Sam. He was simply thrilled that you and his brother were getting along so well. And while he picked up on your anxiety more than once, he chalked it up to you still being nervous in your new surroundings.

That morning the two of you sat at the table drinking your coffee and discussing your plans for the day when Sam tilted his head to look you over. He frowned and his gaze narrowed. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say your mark was fading.”

Your hand flew to your neck to cover the spot in question and panic shot through you. “What?”

Sam chuckled as he got up from the table, mug in hand. He leaned down and kissed you. “Relax, Y/N. I’ll just mark you again. It’s not a big deal.”

“I think maybe we should discuss that first, Sam.”

You both glanced at the doorway to the kitchen in surprise. Dean leaned against the frame, smirking at you over his cup of coffee.

Sam straightened. “There is nothing to discuss. And even if there was, it wouldn’t have anything to do with you.”

Dean shifted his gaze from his brother to you. “Is that true, Y/N? This doesn’t have anything to do with me?”

Moisture pooled in your eyes and you clenched your teeth. Why was he pushing this and why like this? There were so many better ways to have this conversation.

“Y/N?” Sam said, pulling your attention to him. “What’s he talking about?”

Your gaze shifted back to his brother. “Why do you have to be such an ass, Dean?”

He smirked and sauntered further into the room. “Now, sweetheart, that’s no way to talk to your alpha.”

Sam’s gaze narrowed. “Her alpha? I think you’re confused, Dean.”

You shifted in your seat as the room began to fill with the aroma of their irritation and rising aggression. When Sam stepped closer to his brother, you placed a hand on his arm to stop him. “He’s my true mate, Sam.”

“What?” The broken tone of his voice went straight to your heart. His shoulders slumped and he dropped into the chair beside you. Your hand gripped his. “How…when did you figure it out?”

You looked away from him, unable to meet his gaze. “The day we got here.”

He jerked his hand from yours and straightened in his seat. “You knew and you said nothing?”

“Sam—”

“No.” He pushed to his feet. “If you were truly my omega, you would have told me.”

Your gaze followed him as he stormed from the room, his shoulder knocking into his brother on the way by. Your chest ached as your heart cracked. Your alpha was hurting and it was your fault. God, you were a horrible omega. You bit back a sob and dropped your head into your hands.

“We were going to have the conversation sooner or later, Y/N.” Dean sounded mildly remorseful, but you weren’t buying it for a minute.

“Bullshit. Yes, it needed to be had but you went about it the shittiest way possible and you know it. You hurt him, Dean.”

“Damn it, Y/N.” He slammed his palm against the table. “What do you think it does to me every damn day seeing you with him? Half the time you barely acknowledge my presence. I never thought that I would find an omega and I was okay with that. Hell, I was fucking thrilled most of the time because I didn’t want to bring them into this life.”

He raked a hand through his hair and paced the small stretch of floor in front of you. “But then you came and I suddenly realized everything I had been missing. And I don’t want it with someone else. I want it with you. I know that Sammy found you first, that he claimed you and you let him do it, but you’re mine. You were made for me.”

He leaned on the table, hovering over you. “You may love my brother, but you know, deep down inside, that you belong to me.”

With that, he stormed away, leaving you broken and completely confused.

***

For days, the three of you avoided one another. It was stupid and resolved nothing, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to say any of the words that needed to be said. The fourth morning, Sam was awakened by Dean yelling his name. Sam ignored him and rolled over, clutching a pillow to his chest. When his door slammed open, Sam bolted upright in his bed and frowned at his brother. “What the hell, Dean?”

“She’s gone.”

Sam rolled his eyes and laid back down. “She probably just went to the store or something. Calm down.”

Dean kicked the bed and Sam sat up to glare at him again. “She left a note.”

Sam snatched the note from his brother’s outstretched hand and scanned the page.

I’m sorry I hurt you. Both of you. The last thing I ever wanted was to come between the two of you and that’s exactly what happened. Biology sucks boys. Being alphas you might not understand that, but it does. I always swore I wasn’t going to be one of those omegas that lets instinct direct their lives, but I guess it happened anyway.

Sam, I love you. I think I loved you the first time I met you and you chased those two guys out of the bar. You were always sweeter than any alpha I’d ever met. I was so lucky that you picked me.

Dean, the connection between us is undeniable. And if I let myself admit it, its love just as much as what I feel for Sam. As much as I want to forget you exist and just live life with my sweet Sam, I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be fair to any of us.

So, I left. Don’t try to find me, I won’t be going home. Not for a while. And by the time that I do, you both will have forgotten me and I’ll be some girl you met once. Let me go, boys. I refuse to come between the two of you. Be brothers. Be happy.

Love Always,

Your Omega

 “We fucked up, Sam.”

Sam’s jaw ached from his clenched teeth. “I can’t lose her, Dean. We can’t lose her.”

Dean grinned though his eyes were still worried. “Then let’s go get our girl, Sammy.”

[myinconnelly1]

A Life Unlived: Life is Full of Surprises pt. 1

Masterlist / Previous

Word Count: 1613

A/N: Season 6!

Warnings:  themes of cheating, canon gore, angst- oh so much angst, implied character death (canon). 

September 2010

“Bobby?”  Myin called as she opened the door to his home very slowly.  He had been working hard to try and break his contract with the demon Crowley to no avail.  “Bobby are you here?  I brought you something to eat?”  She could smell something burning and a scream of agony from the basement.

“Oh hey, Myin,”  Bobby said coming back upstairs and closing the door behind him.  “Hi there little Jenny,”  He cooed at the little girl.  “What’s going on?”

“I brought you some food, I didn’t think you’d have bothered to eat correctly,”  Myin teased him, as she offered a covered bowl.

“You spoil me,”  Bobby grinned slightly.  “Why are you really here?”  He said as they walked into the kitchen and Bobby got a spoon.

“Alright, not that we need a reason to visit Uncle Bobby,”  Myin smiled bouncing Jenny on her hip.  “But, I thought I saw something snooping around my house.”

“You still got that sigil up from Kali?”  Bobby asked.  Myin nodded.  “I’ll come check it out for you guys tomorrow okay?  Dani and Penny with their grandma?”

A knock on the door got Bobby and Myin’s attention before she had a chance to respond.

“Are you expecting someone?”  Myin whispered and bobby shook his head.  They walked over to the door and Bobby answered it. Jody and a federal agent were standing there.  Jody looked pissed, then saw Myin and exhaled some maintaining her poker face.

“Bobby, this is Special Agent Adams of the FBI.  He has some questions for you,”  Jody huffed in an exhausted fashion.

“Listen, Singer.  We aren’t finished with my problem.  I expect and update from you about the issue,”  Myin took on a grumpy customer look and started to storm out of the house past the FBI agent.  “Oh!” She turned on her heel for extra emphasis.  “And don’t screw it up this time.”

Myin left the house as quickly as she could hoping that her performance had helped Bobby in any way and that the FBI agent wouldn’t come to her hoping to ask questions.  She just had to hope that Bobby would figure out what was stalking her house.

October 2010

Dean had heard enough with his many recent conversations.  Between the woman telling him about her boob job, then Bobby’s overshare.  He was still reeling with the revelation from Lisa.  Sam’s answers were the only befuddling part, but they did set him at ease slightly.  Now he just needed to know how to break this curse.  He hit speed dial 9 something he hadn’t done in a long time.

“Dean?”  Myin’s voice was quiet and unsure as she answered his call.  “Why are you calling me?  I thought you had moved on?”

“I uh- look I was an asshole,”  He sighed deeply.

“You’re damn right you are.  You call me out of the blue without ever coming back and checking on us.  I didn’t know how I was going to handle everything.  Do you know how hard things were for me after you left?!”  Myin had unwittingly slipped into the role of the truth sayer that his curse was forcing him to live through.  Dean fought back his hurt.

“Myin, stop.  I’ve been cursed,”  Dean said trying to give her some dignity.

“What?  Are you going to die?!  I just got a hold of you and your going to die?!  I can’t go through that.  Not again.  Not after Sam.  The girls need me, I just don’t think I would make it.  Please don’t say you are going to die.  Please just lie to me instead,”  She huffed at the end.  “What the hell?  I didn’t want to say all of that?”

“Yeah, I’m cursed to hear the truth from people that are talking to me.  Trust me, it’s kinda annoying,”  Dean chuckled at the hurt that he felt for Myin.  “People keep springing important information on me that I wish I had known earlier.”  The phone clicked.  “Myin?”  He looked at the screen of his phone seeing that the call had ended.

“What’s going on?”  Sam asked meeting up with him by the Impala.

“Just trying to figure out how to break this dumb curse,”  Dean responded putting his phone away for the time being.

The brothers had been caught by the goddess Veritas, and forced to play a game of what she called ‘truth or truth’.  

“You're covered in blood until you're covered in your own blood. Half the time, you're about to die. Like right now. I told myself I wanted out… that I wanted a family.”  Dean said sighing.

“But you were lying,”  The Goddess said to him with a smirk.

“No. But what I'm good at… is slicing throats. I ain't a father. I'm a killer. And there's no changing that. I know that now,”  Dean said regretfully.  As if on cue Dean’s phone started to ring.

“Who’s Myin?”  Veritas asked coyly.  “Oh well, I guess you won’t get to find out what she has to say.  Cause you will be dead.”

“Ever since I came back, I am a-a better hunter than I've ever been! Nothing scares me anymore! 'Cause I can't feel it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think… I need help,”  Sam said after they had killed the goddess.  But Dean had had enough of his lies.  He turned and punched his brother, but all the hurt and rage that he had kept bottled up for the last year fueled him and Dean just kept hitting Sam.

He finally got off of his brother, then remembered that Myin had called.  He hauled Sam into the Impala then started the drive to the Campbell’s compound.  He pulled out his phone to listen to the message the woman left him, knowing that she would have still felt compelled to tell the truth.

“Dean, there is a lot I need to tell you, but I can feel the magic and I don’t want to tell you everything because you are cursed.  I guess the two most important things I need to tell you is that I have a baby and that I’m not sure we can ever go back to being together.  It felt wrong to betray Sam even after Ruby, but I won’t deny that I think I was in love with you.  Oh who am I kidding.  I’m still in love with you… Shit!  This dumb curse is strong.  Anyway, we should talk about… everything.  But after this curse it gone,”  That was the end of the message.  Dean felt his heart shattering.  He was confused and hurt, but he also knew he was right to stay out of her lift when Sam had died.  He didn’t want to drag her down with him.

December 2010

“Myin, what are you doing here?”  Bobby asked when he answered the door.  He looked over his shoulder into his house in a paranoid fashion then stepped out to talk with her on the front porch.

“You asked me to bring you some things?”  Myin asked looking at him suspiciously.  Bobby sighed knowing that he had made himself look guilty.

“Balls.  Look, I’m sorry.  I know I asked for stuff yesterday, I forgot.  It’s been busy,”  Bobby said fiddling with his hat.

“Hard hunt?”  Myin asked looking around before her eyes settled on a car that answered all of her questions.  “Dean is here?”

“Yeah… I should have warned you.”  Bobby said twirling the short strands of Jenny’s hair.  “She really looks like him.  You guys should go before he comes to find me.”

“Who comes to find… Myin?”  Dean asked as he walked around the side of the house from working on his car.  Dean saw Jenny, and looked down at his feet.  “Sorry, I guess that was me.  I’ll give you some space.”

“Wait…”  Myin said before biting her tongue.  Dean turned to look at her.  “You never called me back.”

“Yeah I’ve been-”

“Busy,”  Myin said at the same time as Dean, her shoulders slumping a little.  “I have a lot to tell you, Dean.  We should talk some time.”

“I’m gonna go inside,”  Bobby said giving Dean a very harsh look, that the Winchester didn’t think was warranted.

“I have stuff to say as well,”  Dean said.  “I think I should tell you my thing first so you understand that I haven’t been avoiding you.”  Myin nodded to let him speak first.  “Sam is alive.  Actually, he was never really gone.  I didn’t know that until a couple weeks ago.  But He’s not okay.  He didn’t have a soul.”

“Sam’s alive?”  Myin’s eyes watered with tears and the hurt was written all over her face.  She cleared her throat.  “I can see why that would make you very busy.”

“I’ve been working to get his soul back, and I’m hoping he will be okay,”  Dean said, sadly.

“This is my daughter, Jenny,”  Myin said bouncing the young child on her hip.  Dean looked at the little girl, she was older than Dean expected her to be, and absolutely gorgeous.  He hair was fine and still short, but a sandy blond, and her grey eyes had flecks of green and brown, much like Dani’s.

“She looks like the other girls,”  Dean said smiling a bit.

“They get a lot of features from me, but I think Jenny looks like her dad,”  Myin swallowed hard at the end of her sentence.

“Oh,”  Dean said almost bitterly.  He knew he couldn’t be with Myin, but he was certain that he had almost loved her at one point.

“Dean, meet your daughter,”  Myin said letting his hold the young girl.  “She was born the day you told me Sam had died.”

@waywardbaby​ @destielhoneybee​ @snffbeebee​ @deangirl7695​ @spnbaby-67​ @maddiepants​ @ladywinchester1967​ @woodworthti666​ @miraclesoflove​ @tumbler-tidbits​​ @emilyshurley​​ @akshi8278​​ @mannls​​ @wendibird​​ @bobasheebaby​​​ @theoneandonlymelol​ @chelsea072498​​ @donnaintx​​ @justsomedreaming​​ @supernaturalenchanted​​ @kalesrebellion​​ @prettydeaneyes​​ @emoryhemsworth​ @laphirablack @dontshootmespence​ @its-a-spn-thing​ @vicmc624​ @idreamofplaid​​ @anaelsbrunette​​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​​ @kickingitwithkirk​​ @wayward-mikaelson​ @electraphyng​ @mariekoukie6661​ @ @deanwinchesterinthedarktower @katelynw93​

[2ndstar-ontheright]

“I’m Sorry..”

Fandom: Ginny & Georgia

Characters: Ginny, Georgia, Ellen, Clint, Marcus and Max. 

Words: 1513

Summary: Ginny and Marcus apologize and discovers that there’s more to him then meets the eye. 

Warning: Swearing, implied masturbation (it’s very slight though. More of a blink and you’ll miss it sort of thing.), dead character reference, parental caregiver terms (Ex: “Mama”). 

Author’s note: I know you're probably thinking, "WTH did I just read?" But hear me out! I wrote this because I wanted to give more depth to Marcus' character, and of course I had to do that with age regression. Hah! And to have him apologize since we didn't see that yet in the show. (Plus while watching the show I got some kind of vibe. Not really sure how or why, but I did for some reason.) Anyways, I'm planning on turning this into it's own fully fleshed-out story. And I would love to hear y'all's feedback and opinions in the comments. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! 

    Ginny was lying in bed, unable to sleep. Her mind was racing as she recalled the events of the past week. Breaking it off with Hunter, Marcus and his bullshit, Georgia (as always), and how she managed to push all her friends away over 2 dumb guys. She sighed, trying to take her mind off things, she picked up her toothbrush from her nightstand and slumped under the covers. “Great. Your life's falling apart and all you can think to do is masturbate? Lovely, Ginny. Just lovely”. As the brush slowly made its way down, she then had to go to the bathroom. Sighing even harder this time, she put the toothbrush back on her nightstand and left the room.

“Mom! It’s Marcus! Your idiot, stoner, “Kyle Scheible” wannabe son! Of course I’m pissed and betrayed as hell that my so-called “best friend” was cheating on her boyfriend with my brother! God! Everything is the worst!” Max equally signed and exclaimed to her parents, angry like a wakened bear. “Well I’m sorry! I’m sorry I don’t know anything because my kids don’t tell me shit anymore!” Ellen replied. “Well I’m telling you now mother dearest!” Max said, stomping up to her room. Slamming the door behind her, she flopped on her bed and scrolled through her pictures. She stopped when she saw a picture of the 4 of them together at the Sophomore Sleepover.“Ginny, why couldn’t you have just talked to me?” Her voice broke as she started to cry.

Downstairs, her parents discussed the situation and what they could do to help. “I just don’t get it Clint. Ginny is a good kid, much better than our own. If we're being honest. How are we gonna fix this?” Ellen asked her husband. “I don’t know dear. But, it’s probably best if we stay out of it. I think we can trust the kids to work it out themselves. Besides, all we can do is watch and intervene when it gets too serious, right?” Clint replied. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks. I love you.” “Anytime, Ellie. I love you too”.

Marcus crossed the street towards Ginny’s house in hopes of doing one thing, apologizing. If there was any time to do this, it was now. Hopefully. That day, after hearing what Ginny said he realized what he was doing. He finally broke things off with Padma, stating how he had been a dick to her and that she deserved better, to which she agreed. He took time to look at himself and think “Why? What’s wrong with you? Climbing up to the window he reached for the latch and lowered his hand. He instead climbed back down, knowing how inappropriate and weird his entrances are. “You’re not J.D, idiot.” He joked to himself, while inside he was terrified.

Hearing the door knock, Ginny went downstairs. She looked through the window and jumped. “Jesus fucking Christ. Why is he here?! And at the door of all places? Well, at least it’s not my window, ``she whispered. Her mind began racing again. She wished she could go back to her room, but now she could not. “Peach, who’s at the door?” Georgia called from the other room. She halted for a moment,”No one mom!” “Okay! I must’ve just been hearing things then. Aw shit! That means I’m gettin’ old!” “Georgia Miller’s one adversity, aging!” Ginny said. “Oh hush!” Georgia said, fake offended. Ginny sighed, opening the door. She leaned on the door frame, ready to face whatever was gonna come out of the teen’s mouth.

”What do you want, Marcus? Because frankly, I don’t want to hear it”. “Hey can we talk outside? Please? I just don’t want your mom to hear, if that’s ok?” “Yeah cuz she hasn’t heard everything already about us! But, whatever. I guess we can talk”, Ginny glared at him. “Look, I just wanted to say, I’m sorry. You deserve so much better and should’ve just stayed out of everything..” “Yeah you should’ve. That would’ve helped. My life would have been a lot less shitty, y’know.” “I-I know..and I told Padma about everything a-and broke things off. I mean, it was the least I could do. And I’ve also started to evaluate myself and realize, I am an awful person. Like, what the hell dude? What’s your problem?” Marcus said.

Ginny looked at him surprised, “He actually went and acknowledged his mistakes? Huh, things are certainly changing for both him and I”, “I.. that’s.. I’m really proud of you Marcus. And yeah, you are an asshole, but I’m glad you took the time to realize that. Especially after all the things you went through.``''And I know that doesn't excuse what I did. Someone’s past or whatever they're going through doesn’t excuse them for doing something wrong, but thanks Ginny. I’m not asking for you to forgive me for what I did, I just want you to know that I am truly sorry. Also I’m seeing someone! I forgot their name, but they work with Abby’s Dad, I think. And after this, I’ll stay out of your way so I don’t hurt you or anyone else.” Marcus said, turning to leave.

Ginny gasped, “He’s truly pouring his heart out! He is sorry! Do I want to lose him? Cus I really don’t think I do” Her thoughts swirled in her head. “Marcus, I-I don’t know what to say. You’re right. But, I think that since you’ve taken the time to talk to someone and help you evaluate yourself, you know better than to play with people’s hearts. A-and I don’t want to lose you because you’re more than just hot. Y-you’re nice, introspective, and caring. I don't think I’m ever going to find someone who’s impacted my life like you. I-think I forgive you,” Ginny choked out, crying. “Wow..Seriously! Well, thanks Ginny! Is it okay if I hug you?” Marcus said, surprised. “Seriously. And yes! !”Ginny laughed. “Okay!” He said, wrapping his arms around her. After a minute had passed, Marcus took that as his cue to leave. “Well, I should go,” He said walking to her door. “Yeah. I’ll see you later, creep”. He smiled and left. And Ginny, for the first time in a while, felt relieved.

The next day, Ginny walked to the cafeteria hoping that her friends wouldn’t loathe her entirely. She planned on apologizing to them today for all that happened, especially to Hunter. She was about 5 feet away from the door and saw Marcus on the floor with his head buried in his arms. “Marcus? Are you okay?” She asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Marcus had not had a good day so far. For one thing, Max was still mad at him, his head was screaming, he couldn’t stop thinking about his best friend, and he failed an english test. And his secret almost got revealed when he dropped all of his stuff on the floor trying to get into his locker. So yeah, you could say today was a shit day. So, when he went into the lunchroom and noticed all the people, he turned around back into the hall. For the second time in 12 hours he started to cry. And when Ginny asked him what was up, his head felt fuzzy and couldn’t say anything.

Ginny looked at him in concern waiting for him to answer. He looked up and she noticed his eyes were all red and puffy from crying, “I-I’m sow-sorry. I’m not supposed to... “Supposed to what?” “Be small!” He sobbed, hiding his face. “Aw buddy, it’s okay! But, can you explain? I don’t understand?”

He took a deep breath and began to explain, “So, ever since my y’know accident, my brain goes to this space where it’s kind of like I’m a little kid? Y’know? I know it’s-it’s weird. And ever since my best friend died, I feel a lot younger than I am. So, basically I’m a little kid when I have bad days or get really upset. Which explains what “being small” means, I guess”.

Ginny looked back at him processing this, and if she was being honest, it made a lot of sense. It was his way of dealing, and who was she to judge? “Well, that makes a lot of sense. And I’m guessing it helps, but why were you so upset to tell me?” “Because I was worried you were going to think I’m gross or more weird than I already am.” She chuckled, “You’re already one of the weirdest people I know Marcus. SO, there’s nothing you can do that can make you more weird to me. Now, quit crying! I’m not really in the mood for you to crash into a ditch again, y’know? Lol.” “Heh, yeah. Thanks Ginny.” “Anytime, Marcus. Now come on, the floor’s pretty gross.” She said, standing up and pulling him off the floor. “Okay, mama,” He said, feeling better than before. Ginny gushed and the 2 of them walked back into the cafeteria ready to face their friends.

[inkribbon796]

What He Holds Dear Ch. 2

Summary: Word around the city tends to spread like wildfire. Everyone knows Illinois keeps a lot of secrets. Up until now his lack of a constant weakness has kept those secrets under lock and key. But now he has a fiancé. The Host is a foreboding force in the city with many of the Author’s enemies looking to get revenge. And word spreads fast that the Host is dating a doctor.

A/N: It’s Valentine’s Day. Instead of doing an all-couples event like I did last year I’ll focus on just two of them.

Warning for kidnapping, and a very scared Eric.

Chapters: 1, 2

Chapter 2: Disaster Date Night

Eric was having a normal day. It was Valentine’s Day and Illinois had promised Eric an amazing dinner.

Which to Eric. Illinois could have taken him to a fast food restaurant in sweats and Eric would have thought it was the most fancy thing in the world.

But he’d been given a suit, one that didn’t quite fit him but he had put it on. Illinois took him to a really nice Mexican restaurant and Eric felt so nervous and out of place, and thought that Illinois looked so amazingly handsome.

Currently his only real problem was that he was so enamored by Illinois just being there that all he was contributing to the conversation was smiling and nodding.

But eventually he slipped off to go to the bathroom. A combination of actually needing to go and the anxious claustrophobia of other people in the room.

So he walked into the bathroom and while he was washing his hands, noticing that some dirt had gotten into his nail, he was hit in the back of the head by some force and in an instant he was out.

The next time Eric came to, he had a minor headache blooming in his head. He felt disoriented and scared. Everything was black and in that fear, his hands started making little explosions. Since they were tied behind the chair he was sitting on, his arms and back bloomed with pain.

And he wasn’t the only one.

“Fuck! Fuck! Stop!” In Eric’s panic he didn’t recognize the voice. It was Dr. Iplier. He was tied back-to-back with Eric. The young man’s hands almost on top of the Doctor’s arms. Iplier’s eyes were similarly blindfolded.

A strong smell was placed almost right underneath Eric’s nose and as he inhaled the substance it calmed him down, magically drugging him so he stopped freaking out.

“Hey kid,” Iplier tried to help. “It’s me, Iplier, you okay?”

“Hmmmm,” was Eric’s only response.

Iplier gently tapped Eric’s hands before gently taking it. Eric’s hand felt dangerously warm. But he was calmer — by force — he couldn’t keep hurting the doctor.

“Who’s there?” Iplier demanded. “I know someone’s there! What did you do to him?”

“He’s merely calmed with a very mild sedative,” a voice told him. “You’re welcome.”

Iplier tried to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. It sounded distorted.

“Look, I hate the Author but this is dangerous, you fuckers are all crazy. If we don’t clear out fast enough.” One of the voices, a deeper one, sounded angry.

“All we need is information,” another voice, slightly lighter but no less determined. “That’s the important part.”

“I’m not saving you if this goes tits up,” the mobster grumbled and walked over to Dr. Iplier. A smile on his face.

“Okay lover boy, let’s make this easier for all of us,” the mobster grinned and grabbed Iplier by the hair roughly, craning his head up. “We’ve got some questions. You’re the old bastard fucking that freak of nature aren’t you?”

“That’s none of your business,” Iplier spat.

Iplier got punched in the face for that, making Eric whimper in fear at the sound of Iplier getting hurt. He was trying to fight the haze over his mind but it felt like a weighted blanket he couldn’t kick off.

“Don’t be a smartass,” the mobster snarled. “Everyone knows who you are. You’ve shacked up with that sadistic freak.”

“He’s not who you think he is,” Iplier insisted.

“Yeah I bet he’s a real sweetheart,” the mobster patronized. “A Libra who likes to take long walks on the beach.”

Iplier gritted his teeth and fought the urge to sarcastically remark that Host wasn’t a Libra.

“If you could ask the real questions, we would appreciate it,” the second voice ordered.

“I could shoot you and I would probably get away with it,” the mobster snapped.

“We outnumber you right now, don’t try it.”

At that comment, Iplier tried to listen for another person but there were no signs to let him know if the person was bluffing or not.

“Fine,” the mobster snapped. “To hell with you and your stupid questions. Is the Entity’s body dead?”

“What?” Iplier asked.

He was punched in the face again, this time breaking his nose and making him scream in pain and anger.

“The Entity,” the mobster growled. “Is he dead?”

“How should I know?” Iplier snapped. “I’m not that asshole’s doctor.”

The mobster opened his mouth to speak, which is precisely when an aluminum bat made contact with the back of his skull. Cracking the man’s skull and killing him instantly.

Then the Host glared at the only other occupant in the room, a demon hunter in a mask. The hunter took a fearful step back at the sight of the blood running down from the Host’s face and the narrations that left them as metaphorically bare as a newborn, and felt the muzzle of a handgun pressed against the back of their head.

“Our turn for questions, asshat,” Illinois threatened.

“Ills?” Eric was semi-roused from his haze.

Illinois glanced at him, “Just taking out the trash, dulcito.”

“Illy,” Eric pleaded, starting to cry and limply started to struggle in his chair.

“Illinois should tend to his fiancé,” the Host told him and with a signal from the Host the Entity dragged the hunter through and into the Void for a nice, long interrogation. The hunter’s scream echoing in the room as they were violently and painfully dragged in.

Illinois raced over to Eric, waiting for the Host to thoroughly clean up the blood and evidence of death from the mobster before lifting his blindfold. “Eric, dulcito, honey. I’m here now. Don’t worry I’m here.

With a few, careful words the blindfolds and binding disappeared and Iplier blinked in disorientation.

As delicately the Host could he used his words to reset the doctor’s nose, setting it back to normal. Then with a few more words all the people in the room disappeared from it and suddenly appeared on the back balcony of the Manor.

Eric and Iplier were sitting on the comfiest seats as their partners stood in front of them. Illinois rushed back in to comfort Eric as the Host hovered around Dr. Iplier.

“I’m so sorry I let them take you dulcito, can you ever forgive me?” Illinois begged desperately as he frantically kissed Eric’s hands, almost begging wordlessly for permission to move further up his arm. “Did any of them touch you?”

“I-I’m fine,” Eric was hiccupping through his sobs.

“Does the Host’s doctor have any other injuries?” The Host asked. “The Host regrets not being able to remove the assailants sooner.”

“I,” Dr. Iplier paused. He knew that the two of them had killed his assailants. Iplier knew it, and the Host knew it. “I’m fine.”

“Is the Host’s doctor sure?” The Host asked.

Unsure of what would actually leave his mouth, he nodded.

The seer let out a controlled sigh, “The Host could not bear it if his doctor was grievously hurt for something the Author had done.”

Iplier planned to say something reassuring, that killing people who meant to do him and Eric serious harm didn’t exactly qualify as a heinous act. That it was self defense. But at that exact moment Dark stepped through, his ringing shrill and his usually greyed out effect even more saturated.

“I have some more names, we’ll discuss the details later,” Dark promised and pulled out a small wooden case and passed it to Illinois. “I have business to attend to, I’ll be with Google if anyone needs to speak with me.”

“Alright,” Illinois said, noticing that Eric was curing protectively into him.

Then Dark was gone, heading through the balcony door and disappearing into the house. Leaving Illinois and Host with their partners.

Illinois sat next to Eric and popped open the box to find two little pins inside. Both of them were silver quill pins.

The adventurer took one of them out and offered it, pleading, “Eric, I’m going to make sure no one can hurt you again.”

Eric nodded, but Iplier spoke up. “What are those? What do they do? And why should we put on anything Dark gives us?”

Looking conflicted, Eric stared at the quill, and then at Illinois. Illinois looked back at Iplier. “They’re the same as our trackers except Host and I can track them. I guess yours is mostly cosmetic, Ip.”

“And that has your aura?” Iplier questioned. “Won’t that allow Dark to teleport to us?”

“Ours allow him to know where we are, his aura does the rest,” Illinois admitted. “If he feels one of us going through an anti-magic barrier like that one you all have down at the station, he’ll go to the other side of the field and figure out how badly he needs to intervene. In your base, I think the two of you should be safe. No intervention needed.”

“O-Okay,” Eric allowed, uncertain. He let Illinois replace the little star he usually wore with the quill. The adventurer held the star out to the Host.

The star disappeared without the Host needing to take it. Only taking a couple words to accomplish. Illinois delicately kissed Eric on the cheek. “I thought for a bit that when we’d find you again, my luck would have run out. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“The Host can return Dr. Iplier to his hospital, or would he rather the Host take him back home?”

“The hospital, everyone’s probably worried about where I went,” Iplier sighed.

“As the doctor wishes,” the Host’s eyes bled a bit more and the case Dark had given Illinois in the seer’s hand. The two men gone from the balcony.

It left Illinois and Eric cuddled up together on the balcony. Eric was happy to see Illinois again, and Illinois happy to just have Eric alive. That he was still holding someone who was breathing and their heart was beating.

They wound up on the couch in the living room. Illinois calming down to the gentle sound of Eric’s still beating heart.

[worldsendroleplay]

Friday, January 1st, 2021

Greetings, dear reader. 

Some of you may have noticed my absence, but I have been hard at work. Either way, my comings and goings are none of your business. If you were to make a report of my work this past month, it would be longer than every past one of yours combined. I hope you all enjoy your holiday gifts. They were all chosen with great care and it took great effort to acquire some of them. 

It seems your present to me was enough material for a longer report. I commend you for not being boring in my absence and while I know I should not criticize a gift, it would have been far better if you’d gifted me content for the entire year. Whatever; there’s always my birthday.

Many people have come and gone since we last spoke, too many for me to keep track of, but I regret to inform you that among the people that have left the world was Alastor, the Radio Demon. Where am I supposed to get my entertainment from now that all the world’s resident killers are gone? Unless Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, or James Potter make good on their threats to kill Peter Pettigrew, I suppose that I will have to watch and listen to your silly conversations and arguments instead. 

There were a few Thanksgiving get-togethers, though not as many as for the next big holiday that we will cover. Bucky Barnes invited his sister Rebecca Barnes and her boyfriend, Hugo Granger-Weasley, to spend Thanksgiving with himself, his son Leonard “Leo” Barnes, and his girlfriend Angie Martinelli. They had to explain the holiday to Madge Undersee, who grew up in a world where there was no Thanksgiving and for whom a cornucopia was used for more than just food. 

Christmas has arrived for the inhabitants of Worlds’ End, and many people have celebrated it in their own ways. I’d tell you about my holiday plans, but I doubt you would approve. Merlin and Morgana, on the other hand, hosted a lunch and dinner for their friends and family and spent the next day sleeping it off. Malachai Atherton explained Christmas to his girlfriend Ty Lee, who had never heard of the holiday but received a present from her boyfriend; she gave him one in return despite not knowing of the holiday, as she was aware this time of year was special somehow.

But not everyone has had a happy holiday. Regulus Black discovered that his daughter, Lyra, had joined one of the many happy ghost-like people living in the portal version of his beloved Hogwarts. I must say, that is a terrible idea of a Christmas gift on someone’s part. I do happily encourage murder, but even I must draw the line somewhere. Sirius Black, after being told by his brother that Lyra had left the world, assumed that either Peter Pettigrew or Narcissa Malfoy were involved as they were aligned with a certain Dark Lord back home. Sirius then grew infuriated at the idea of Narcissa being Lyra’s godmother, and things blew up between the two brothers when he accused Regulus of never changing his ways. Pardon my language, but what an asshole. 

For un-holiday-related conversations, look no further than Aviana Pendragon. We have watched her grow up, but it wasn’t that long ago when her younger brother Gaven Pendragon was born. Avi has since felt like her family wants her to be just like her brother, though hopefully a few conversations with her parents and uncle would have made her feel better. If she is reading this, or if anyone needs to hear this—it is always okay to be yourself, whether you are rash and arrogant, quiet and sweet, or just a plain murderer. For example, I know I can be bold and that it can be intimidating to speak with me. I still do not shy away from this. 

Meanwhile, there have been quite a few confessions made since people have only been able to speak the truth, both for the better and for the worse. For example, Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste had a fight over a certain little secret (that I know and you don’t), but things have been cleared up between the two now and they are still happily in love. Sir Leon learned a little something about his good friend Sir Gwaine, but they did not fight at all and instead laughed it off. Compared to Marinette and Adrien, it was a rather boring conversation, but it was a conversation a long time coming. Then there was a conversation between Mordred and Merlin about a certain destiny and a certain set of fake memories, but that is all in the past. Now it is time to look to the future, and I can’t wait to see what will happen next. Even if the past did bring along enough drama to warrant several stab wounds. 

And where there are confessions, there are also actions. Gorlois has been training the Druid Kara in how to fight and then extended his offer to Callan. After a few days of consideration, she decided to take the former knight up on his offer, and she joined the two in the gym. An anger-prone Druid, a feisty orphan, and a Knight who has renounced his knighthood… What can go wrong? For my sake, I hope several things do.

It has been weeks since his birth, but it is my honor and my duty to announce the arrival of young Micah Aspen Fisher Odair on Finnick Odair’s doorstep. While the victor was talking with his roommate, Rue Gardner, in the kitchen, they heard the soft cries of a baby outside. They brought the young boy inside, and Finnick has been raising him as his son since then. I cannot wait to write his mouthful of a name in future reports.

Finally, let’s move onto the exciting topic of relationships, whether they are familial, romantic, or platonic. Mariah Hunter and Daniel Jackson have been increasingly spending time together, be it watching movies, nursing small cuts on fingers, or preparing for dinners for the two of them to share. For now the two are just friends, but they are a pair to watch for anyone that knows them. 

There is a new relationship in town for anyone who cares to read about it. Lu Ten may have been thinking about his feelings for Reagan Reyes for a while now, but staying silent about them was no longer possible. With the truth now being his only option, Lu Ten had no other choice but to say something, which may have been prompted by her painting of him. Thankfully, she reciprocated his feelings, and the two lovebirds kissed and decided to begin a relationship with each other. Now, let us just hope that their families approve. Since Lu Ten’s current family in the world consists of a single firebending cousin who is never happy, they should be fine. 

On the topic of budding relationships, young Gaven Pendragon extended the hand of friendship to Kara, someone who has in the past tried to kill his father Arthur Pendragon as well as all the knights that he calls uncles. Of course, Gaven doesn’t know about that, and he likes seeing the best in everyone. I will address Gaven now as I did Aviana earlier—if you are reading this, perhaps it may be best to ask your parents about it. Or better yet, send in a question to me! 

Gaven may not be the only tether between the two sides, though. Mordred and Kara, since their (seemingly inevitable) break up, have discussed the possibility of getting back together. As of the writing of this report, nothing has happened yet. 

What is more certain is that Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala have gotten back together. Things had grown complicated between them both since she knew what her secret husband had done and what he would come to do, but they’d never stopped loving each other. It was—is—Padmé’s hope that they can find a way to move past whatever he will do in the future and perhaps stop it from ever happening at all. In a heartfelt moment, she exchanged wedding rings with him after not being able to wear them at home. It’s unlikely that change in course of action will happen, but it’s fun to watch everyone try to stop the inevitable, especially in a world like this where you already know what will happen. 

Something else we already know for sure is that Jet has moved on from only telling lies to only telling the truth, which made Katara feel uncertain now that she knows that the lying buffer is gone. However, she has still chosen to be with him, and has expressed her happiness to Zuko, who is still happily in love with his girlfriend from the Earth Kingdom, Jin. What made the firebender less happy was the constant ice and snow outside, but maybe he’ll cheer up in the future. Hopefully, he got a winter coat for Christmas.

If you are Mercury Black and Emerald Sustrai, it may be a bit hard to be cheery right now. They had to deal with a question of trust once again when Mercury went to wish his Semblance back from the genies of the Genies’ Cave. Back home, this had been stolen by his father to ‘make him stronger’. Emerald insisted on joining him in the caves so that he didn’t get himself killed, and the wish was made. If he had gotten killed, it would have made for such an interesting story. I do love a good death. There was no death, though, leaving us to see what happens in the aftermath of this wish. I hope it’s something exciting. 

For the sake of my future reports, I hope the coming year is full of excitement for you.

That is all for my report this week.

Go on, dear reader, and do not forget to share this with your friends!

Your Editor thanks you.

[autisticdindjarin]

Knights of Mandalore

Chapter Three: I Know Some Things

Chapter Two | Masterlist

(AO3)

Rating: T Ships: Din Djarin/Female Jedi Knight (Slow Burn) Warnings: None

Summary:  The Hero of Tython was never found after her capture at the hands of the  Eternal Empire. Millennia passed before she was found by a youngling in  need of training and a Mandalorian.

A/N: Hey guys! More things from Din's side of things this chapter, and some Boba-bonding. Din may have a crush. We'll hopefully see Fennec bonding soon. Hoping I got Boba's personality down, though. He's struggling too but he's just better at hiding it.

Din sighed and leaned back in the passenger seat of the Slave I. They’d been in hyperspace for days now. He couldn’t get the image out of his head of the Togrutan Jedi. He didn’t even ask her name, and now it bothered him. He could look her up on the HoloNet if he’d known. Still, her face was fresh in his memory. Was that a side effect of having someone walk around in your mind? 

His headache had eased off eventually- it hit him hard the day after talking with her- but a throbbing lingered at his temples.

Boba leaned back in the pilot’s seat, legs spread and posture lazy, and Fennec remained in the hull doing stars knew what. And Din was a jittery mess in comparison. Worry flashed from the Jedi to Grogu and back again. Most of it was for Grogu.

What if this didn’t work? What if he never saw him again? What if he was-

“Stop it,” Boba commanded into the silence. Din startled, thinking the other man had dozed off. He hesitated. Had he … done something?

“... Stop what?”

“Thinking out loud. I’m trying to relax, and you make it impossible.”

Din looked over and tilted his helmet. He replayed the last few moments. Kriff, was he talking out loud? 

Boba grumbled. 

“Worrying about it does nothing but make you feel like bantha shit, trust me. We’ll get there, we’ll get the Jedi, and we’ll get your son back. Like I said, I’m with you. And if two assholes in beskar and a sniper in cybernetics can’t get it done, well, who can?”

Din sighed and looked back out the view port. His shoulders slumped. Why was this so hard? Grogu had recently been his only company, and before that, well, there was a reason he worked alone. His words were hard to say. When he did say them, it never came out right. It never played out right. 

He felt Boba’s eyes on him. He didn’t expect the hand when it squeezed his shoulder, and he tensed.

But he didn’t pull away.

“The Jedi … what do you know about them?” Din asked. The hand moved back and  Boba chuckled.

“Self-righteous is the first thing that comes to mind. But I’ve had some … dealings with them in the past.”

Evasive. Din knew the feeling.

“What kind of dealings?”

Boba gave out a bitter laugh.

“Nothing good. First time I saw one, I didn’t like him. Acted like my father was beneath him. A different Jedi led to his death.”

It was quiet- unsettling- as Din struggled with how to answer that. 

“I’m sorry to hear it.”

“Why? You didn’t know him,” Boba shrugged. Din shook his head.

“No, but I know you.” The simplest answer he could give. Boba’s gaze shot back over to him, and Din met it this time. It was uncomfortable. Boba’s brow furrowed and he gripped the arms of his pilot’s seat. He was looking for something, but Din’s helmet didn’t give much away. A saving grace.

Boba relaxed after a few seconds and leaned back again, as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

I wish I could do that.

“We’ve known each other what, a week now? You just love making friends wherever you go, huh?”

Din paused.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, I don’t know, that shock trooper you told me about, the nice lady Jedi, Fennec, the Marshal ….” Boba shook his head.

“Are we … friends?” Din frowned.

Boba laughed, and Din shrunk back. Tightness gripped at his chest.

“No offense, Mando, but it seems to me like you’re a lonely man. That’s alright. I’ve been there myself. But a Mandalorian alone is a sad thing.”

Din huffed.

“I don’t need your pity, Fett.”

“Well, that’s good, because you don’t have it,” he answered Din straight. 

Din didn’t know how to answer that. He felt foolish. Why did he even care what Boba thought?

Boba sighed and tapped his fingers. He looked over at Din again. Din’s question still hadn’t been answered, but it felt wrong for Din to press.

“Listen. Jedi take care of their own a lot like the Mandalorians do, just less … cozy. Less familiar. So you don’t have to worry about your son being with them when he gets there. The old Jedi Order I knew, anyway. They had plenty of faults otherwise, otherwise the Purge wouldn’t have happened like it did. Many of them were … be’ori'jagyc.” Bullies - picked on someone smaller.

“You speak Mando’a.” Din sat up straight. Mando’a wasn’t common at all throughout the galaxy. It had been a long time.

“Not really,” Boba frowned. “Just the best word for them.”

A long silence pressed against them after that, with Din restless, and Boba lost in thought. The other man’s lips set into a thin line. Din had to say something. Something to change around the awkward questions, get off the subject a little.

“The Jedi. Are they all Togruta?” Din spoke. Boba blinked and looked over at him.

“No. Why?”

“The ones I’ve met, they both- They were Togruta.” Din stumbled.

“Your son isn’t,” Boba replied.

“I … don’t know. I thought maybe they ... looked different, younger?” Well, that sounded idiotic as soon as he said it out loud. Frustration boiled in him. But Boba laughed-  not unkindly.

“You really don’t know anything about anything, do you? Stars, how’s a bounty hunter survive, being so oblivious?”

“I know some things,” Din protested. Boba’s shoulders shook with more laughter. Din tensed. He wasn’t some rookie to be passed over here. He did know things. A lot of things. Boba wasn’t that much older than him.

“Jedi Purge wasn’t that long ago, friend. They used to be all over the HoloNet. Heroes of the galaxy, all that bantha shit.”

“My … village was small. We didn’t really connect with the Core. We kept to ourselves. It was a way of life there.”

“Hmph. You’ve kept your eyes to the ground ever since, though. That covert of yours, real isolated?”

“Yeah,” Din sighed. He hadn’t had a conversation where he’d talked so much in a long time. It drained him. Since when did he start talking about his past so freely? This felt wrong, uncomfortable. Yet needed. He opened his mouth to say more, but Boba beat him to it.

“You need to take a nap, Mando. Worrying doesn’t make the ship go faster. Grab a ration bar on your way down.”

He snapped his mouth shut. Din could agree to that, though he didn’t know if he’d achieve sleep. Rest would have to do. He … liked talking to Boba. Or listening to Boba talk. That would be fine. Just enough so Din didn’t keep stuttering around.

“You’ll tell me when we get there?”

“I’ll wake you when we get there,” Boba affirmed with a nod of his head. “Take it easy. And use the fresher, for me and Fennec’s sake. There’s some razors stashed somewhere. Clean yourself up.”

The thought didn’t come to Din until he laid down on the small bunk. He called me friend.

_______________

Din rolled over on the bunk. It’d been an hour, and instead of resting, he worried. Hurt. A flash of the Razor Crest in his mind, and that took his breath. He pushed it away. He couldn’t. He couldn’t. Emotions couldn’t overtake him here.

His focus had to be on the kid.

But that hurt too. He’d thought and planned and strategized what he could. What else was there to do? 

He tossed around again, sock-clad feet curled into the blankets Boba had provided.

The Jedi he’d seen. That could be something to think more about, without so much danger of losing it.

When he’d first drawn that blaster on her, she’d been unexpected. Taller than him, with montrals added on to that height. She was well-muscled. He’d be curious to see her fight. Or whether he could hold his own against her. He liked testing himself. Learning.

She looked tired, though.

Her voice had been strained, hoarse, like she wasn’t used to using it. While she’d been cast in sickly green light in his mind, he could tell that her skin was a deep purple, montrals red or perhaps orange.

He hadn’t seen many Togruta during his time, but at least a couple dozen. None of them had similar coloring that he remembered, or her unique pattern. Maybe she was from a different part of Shili- one with Togruta less keen on traveling the stars.

How had she reached out to him like that? He wasn’t a Jedi. He’d never felt anything like it. It was invasive. He’d fought against it before knowing what he was doing, feeling the pressure against him like a knife sliding into his skull. Could she do that when he was awake? What other things could a Jedi do? Could she make him … do things?

Discomfort settled over him. Perhaps this wasn’t the best subject change.

He still felt her directions, her sense of space, in his mind. It was strange. Whenever he focused on it, it felt like floating in that mindscape again. 

Why was she trapped?

Was someone holding her hostage? Could it be the Empire? That would be a very unfortunate surprise. Had he thought this through enough? What was formidable enough to trap a Jedi? He’d seen how Ahsoka had fought on Corvus, the powers she possessed. 

What had he signed up for here?

‘No use worrying about it.’ Boba’s words echoed. Din agreed. He’d given his word to the Jedi- or at least highly implied it- which was as good as. And finding the Jedi was his mission.

He just hoped they weren’t too late.

[katebacks]

Thank you, Next - Park Jimin (M)

— pairing | Park Jimin/Reader 

— word c | 9,338

— genre | Smut, fluff, angst, Best Friends to Lovers au!

— summary |  [ In high school you weren’t very popular, ten years later you travel to a class reunion of your old class. What could go wrong?]. 

— warnings/tags |  Some of Namjoon/Reader. Some bad words, oral (female receiving). bestfriend! jimin, unprotected sex (stay safe!), Namjoon being an asshole (sorry!)

— A/N | @bangtanqueenybee and @nellyk-fan This is dedicated to you.

This is not a good idea. That's all what you thought as you followed the road towards the hotel you would stay. You had rented a car as soon as you left the airport. The next day would be the 10 year anniversary that you finished high school and the whole class would gather at a place to celebrate. You were not happy at all, but your best friend forced you to go. Unlike today, you didn’t have many friends back then, you weren’t popular and you certainly were not pretty, or at least that's what your classmates told you. In fact, you only had one friend at that time, Park Jimin, he was the only one in the whole school who didn’t play games with you, who didn’t play with your feelings or bulged you, so maybe go to that meeting and seeing him again after 10 years, wouldn’t be a bad idea.

But in reality, you were afraid to meet with one person. Kim Namjoon. Like the movies, he was the most popular, the most handsome guy in school, the most coveted. The girls would die for him and all the guys wanted to be his friends. He wasn’t a football, baseball or basketball player, but he was super smart, classy, funny, charming, narcissistic, egocentric, and selfish. The perfect match for a manly disaster.  A born, experienced hunter who could make anyone fall at his feet, and you were one of those people.

You remember as if everything happened within hours. You, one of the nerds in the school, introverted, shy and polite, sitting at the back of the chair in the back of the classroom, staring at the school prince. It was the last days of school, you didn’t have to go to school any more, but you did, because you knew he would too, and you thought you would have the courage to say something to him, but you didn’t, then just stood there, staring at him like a lovesick fool.

He was talking to his friends, laughing loudly at their jokes, showing his dimples on his cheeks that made your heart melt like butter, the way his hair was tossed back, everything about him attracted you, he was the only man you'd been attracted to throughout high school, but you knew nothing would ever happen.

"You're (Y/N), right?" A voice beside you made you jump out of the chair, knocking some pens down, turning to the person who had spoken to you, facing Jin, one of Namjoon's best friends, he was as handsome as your crush, his shoulders broad and his face extremely handsome. You stared at him wide-eyed, not understanding what he was doing there, talking to you. “I'm Jin.” He said holding out his hand to you. You blinked a few times and timidly, with a shaking hand, took his hand and squeezed it. He smiled sympathetically at you after letting go of your hand. "So Namjoon asked me to give you this." He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a folded paper and held it out to you. You frowned and held the paper. "He asked me to tell you to keep it a secret if possible, he doesn’t want anyone to spoil the surprise." Jin said and you looked at him who was still smiling. He nodded and turned away, pulling away from you and moving closer to his friends. You followed him with your eyes until your eyes fell on Namjoon and saw that he was staring at you. You felt your cheeks burn and your body tremble. He smiles and it causes butterflies in your stomach.

He nodded toward the paper in your hands and you took a deep breath before opening it. You choked on your own breath and your heart leapt into your chest, as if you had just received an electric shock. A smile came to your lips without you even noticing.

Do you want to go on a date with me?

( ) yes (  ) no

You bit your lips, and with your fingers trembling, you took the pen, marking the box that said yes. The bell rang and you heard a chair move and your head turned toward him like a shot, watching him walk toward you, making your whole body freeze, and you couldn’t even blink as you watched him heading towards you, you even forgot to breathe. Namjoon stood in front of you, smiling. He reached out, gently taking the paper from your hands, with you still frozen in front of him. His smile stretched out, and he looked at you again, making you finally blink and breathe again.

“I'll pick you up at seven.” He said gently.

"Come on Namjoon, you can date another time, we're late.” The voice of one of his friends said, making him giggle and nod, turn his back and leave the room with his friends.

You just realized that it had been a bad idea after going out with him.

You had never been to a date in your life, and you had no girl friends to help you do the makeup or choose a outfit, so your only salvation was Jimin, your best friend. You called him saying it was an emergency and when he came to your house and you told him what had happened, Jimin wasn’t happy, but he didn’t try to stop you from going to meet him, because he knew how much you liked Namjoon. He helped you choose a outfit in which you look beautiful and comfortable, even though he thinks you look beautiful anyways. He even helped you with makeup, taking your mom's makeup and helping you through, watching some videos on the internet. You couldn’t ask for a better best friend.

Shortly before seven, Jimin left, wishing you luck, and leaving you walking from one side to the other in the room, nervous and anxious. When the doorbell rang and you opened the door, seeing Namjoon standing there in front of you, you hardly believed it was true.

He took you to a party at Jin's house, and as soon as you got out of the car and looked at the amount of people in the house, you began to wonder if it was a good idea to be there, but Namjoon took your hand and said everything would be all right, and you believed it, even though you had the feeling that something was wrong.

You should have trusted that feeling and gone away.

All his friends were very polite to you, which wasn’t the custom. You felt uncomfortable with them, but every time you looked at Namjoon you forgot that bad feeling. He convinced you to dance, and being carried away by the music and the feeling of being in his arms, as he leaned forward to kiss you, you accepted. That was your first kiss, and it was being as you wanted it, it was being special and being with who you wanted to be, with the prince of your fairy tale.

A little later you told him that you would go to the bathroom. When you returned, he was talking to his friends on the porch of the house, with his back to the door and didn’t see you approaching. And the same time they changed the music, Jin said:

"I cannot believe you really kissed that nerd, shit, I can’t believe I lost 20 bucks."

And at that moment you froze in the same place, frowning, not believing what you were hearing. Maybe it was just a joke, but you saw Jin pulling a note out of his pocket and handing it to the laughing Namjoon.

"You have courage, man! To kiss that one, you have to be brave. I admire you." One of his other friends next to him said, patting him on the shoulder.

“I appreciate it, but you still owe me 20 bucks, man.” Namjoon said holding out his hand to the friend who paid him.

You felt your heart ache, as if it had broken into tiny pieces. The butterflies in your stomach were replaced with anguish, and the taste of his kiss on your mouth once sweet, was now bitter. You felt your face burning, and your eyes began to burn, but you only realized that you were crying when the tears began to come down your face and you sobbed. Namjoon heard you and turned back, eyes widening at the sight of you standing there crying. He didn’t say anything, neither did his friends.

You turned away and went out infuriated, but embarrassed and too humiliated to say anything to him. Two days later you were going to live with an aunt in another city, away from all that shame, starting a new life.

When you arrived in front of the hotel where you would be staying, you left the car, going towards the entrance of the place, walking towards the reception, to make your check in, you were so distracted by your cell phone, sending a message to your friend that you did not see that you was approaching the queue for the front desk and slammed into someone's back. Your cell phone fell out of your hand, and the person in front of you turned to you. You were ready to apologize when you saw who he was.

Kim Namjoon, in the flesh. He hadn’t changed much since high school, he remained extremely attractive. And you just realized that you were staring at him like a idiot when he bent down in front of you, taking your cell phone and handing it to you, giving you that smile that one day made your heart beat faster.

“It's all right?” He asked. You took the phone from his hand and nodded, finally managing to move.

“Yeah, sorry I was distracted.” You said, relieved to know that seeing him didn’t do the damage you thought would happen. You were grown up, very well settled in your life, things of the past didn’t affect you anymore and you were happy about it.

“Next.” The receptionist said. It was Namjoon's turn, but instead of going to the front desk, he took a step toward the side still smiling, gesturing for you to pass.

"Ladies first." He said and gave a small smile, you whispered thank you and walked to the counter.

“How can I help?” The receptionist asked, smiling gently.

“I'm on the reserve list for the 2008 graduates." You said taking your ID in the back pocket of your pants and handing it to her.

“Your room is the number 36.  If you need anything, you can talk to me, here's your key." She said and give you a key with the 36th key ring. You thanked her and turned back to get back in the car and get your bag in the trunk.

"You came to the 2008 class reunion?" Namjoon asked, making you stop walking and look at him nodding. He hadn’t recognized you. "I'm sorry, but I remember everyone I studied with, but your face doesn’t come to me.”

"Does the name (Y/N) mean anything?" You asked and he frowned and looked away, seeming to think, and then he looked back at you, wide-eyed and colorless. Now he had remembered you. You were sure of that. You nodded and turned away from the front desk and into the parking lot across the street.

You smiled to see that he really had no more effect on you.

You opened the trunk and pulled the heavy suitcase out, complaining loudly that Hoseok must have put a stone in there instead of your clothes because it was too heavy.

“Need help?” A male voice said behind you, making you hop up and drop the suitcase, letting it fall to the floor. Turning, you came across a gray-haired man, staring at you. His hands were inside the pockets of his pants. He wore dark glasses, a white T-shirt, and black pants. He had thin cheeks and full lips. You stared at him for a few seconds, with the feeling that you already knew him from somewhere. That was when a light went on in your mind and you opened your eyes wide.

“Jimin!” Your voice sounded more excited than expected and a smile took over your face. The boy in front of you smiled as well, taking off his sunglasses and revealing his eye smile. You didn’t hesitate to walk towards him and hug him with all the strength you had. The only person in your teens you missed was him. He hugged you back, pressing your body against his. You missed that, during those 10 years, you could never forget how good it felt to be held by Jimin. He had a hug that could make you forget all your problems, it was like a cure for all your pain.

"You've grown a couple of inches since the last time we met." He said breaking the hug, making you look indignant to him.

“You speak as if you were too high, right Chimmy?”

“Wow, I haven't heard that nickname in years.” He said laughing. “How are you?”

“I'm fine, better than 10 years ago at least.” You laughed scratching the back of your neck. “What about you?”

“I'm fine too… not much better than ten years ago, you know, I missed you.” He said lowering his head, shoving his hands in his pockets again. And that reminded you of the day you left your hometown. You remember that Jimin cried, begging you not to leave. You spent almost two hours hugging on the porch of your house until your mother said it was time to go to the airport. You remember seeing him through the back window of the car, his hands on his face, his swollen red eyes, still sobbing. That broke your heart. You tried to keep in touch, but with college and your new life, keeping in touch with people who didn't live near you was being difficult. You could barely talk to the people around you, let alone those who lived far away.

"I’m sorry." You whispered, lowering your head, feeling the sad memories come back to you.

"It's fine now, I'm glad you're okay, that's all." He said holding your chin and making you raise your head, looking at him again, and at that moment, when your eyes locked, was the moment you felt for Jimin, the same way you once felt for Namjoon. And that made your body tingle. Your heart pounded and your legs trembled, the butterflies were released in your stomach and you can't help but smile and throw yourself into his arms giving him one more hug.

"I missed you, Jimin." You whispered against his chest and he smiled, tightening his hold even more.

"Let's use these days to get back together again. What do you think? Want to be my best friend again?"

"Yes absolutely yes."

After you went to your room, you took a shower and lay in bed to talk to Hoseok who was crazy to know how the trip was going, even if you were there for only a few hours.

"So you met Namjoon again? Was he surprised to see you?" He asked from across the screen in the video call.

"He was. He even lost his face color when he saw who I was." You said laughing. Now you were finding it funny.

“I wanted to be there to see his face. Seriously. Now you have to make him regret doing that shit to you in the past. Rub your beauty and intelligence in his face, throw him to the ground, break his heart, break him in the middle and …”

"Hey Hoseok, take it easy." You said laughing when you saw him waving his hands like he was really strangling someone. He stopped moving and stared at the screen before laughing. “I don't want to show or prove anything to him. I don’t need this. I got over it a long time ago. I just want to take this time to kill my longing for Jimin.”

"The cute boy who was your best friend at school? Is he there too?"

"Yeah, and he's stunning. He's even prettier than before. God. I almost had a heart attack with him." You said smiling as you remembered the hug he had given you.

"Oh, I know that smile. You like him." Hoseok said smiling, making you widen your eyes.

"What? Of course not. I just missed him."

"I know you well enough to know when you're lying to me, (Y/N). You like him."

You sighed.

"Okay, but that makes no difference now. He even asked me if I wanted to be his best friend again. For all I know, he can have a girlfriend, be married and have children, or even be gay." You said with sad eyes, touching Hoseok’s heart.

“You will never know if you don't ask, honey. Then raise your head, wear your sexiest dress, put on your best perfume and call him for a drink. Tomorrow you tell me if he has a girlfriend, is married or gay.” You started to think, but you knew you had nothing to lose. You weren't the same girl ten years ago, you were a grown woman and not a teenager. You could have sex with Jimin if he wanted to. Trying wouldn't hurt you, would it?

After saying goodbye to Hoseok, you called the number Jimin had just given you. You stopped in front of the bedroom window, watching outside while you waited for him to answer.

"Have you missed me?" He said playfully when he answered. You smiled.

"Actually yes ... Hum... Do you want to …"

"I do." He answered without even letting you finish talking, which made you laugh.

"You didn't even hear my whole proposal."

"No matter what it is. If it's with you, I accept everything."

“Oh” That took you by surprise and nearly left you speechless. "Okay. Meet me at the reception seven at night, will you?"

"I'll be there."

And here you were, getting into the elevator to get down to the desk and meet the blonde. You wore a black dress and high heels, because now you were comfortable with your body to wear that kind of clothing, now you loved it, now you knew that the opinions of others were nothing but empty comments. You felt beautiful in that outfit and no one would make you think otherwise. You used the elevator mirror to straighten your hair when the doors opened and Namjoon was there with another man, Seokjin. He was an asshole at the time, but he was still handsome too. They both laughed at something when Namjoon looked at the elevator and saw you there, with your back to him, fidgeting with your hair. He looked you up and down, seeing how that dress accentuated your ass and he just stopped breathing for a few seconds.

Jin noticed his friend's change and looked at the elevator just as you looked at them through the reflection of the mirror, causing you to jump with fright and turn around at once. You said nothing, nor did Namjoon. Jin just stared at both of you, and seeing that his friend wouldn't react, he grabbed the boy's arm and pulled him into the elevator before the doors closed. He kept staring at you from head to toe, making you feel embarrassed and wanting to get in a hole.

"If you keep staring at her like that, you'll scare the girl, you idiot." Seokjin whispered to the other boy, as if you couldn't hear him. But that seemed to activate something inside him that cleared his throat and shook his head.

"I'm sorry ... It's just wow, you look beautiful, (Y/N)." Namjoon said and you bit your lip, shaking your head and thanking him.

"Thanks."

"Wait ... (Y/N)?" Seokjin said with a frown drawing his attention. "Are you the girl at that bet? From ten years ago?" Namjoon shot him a look, as if threatening him with death as soon as he heard the words that came out of Seokjin's mouth. You bowed your head, once again feeling ashamed of what had happened in the past. Jin noticed the stupid thing he had done and hurried to apologize. "Oh, I'm sorry ... I shouldn't have touched on that subject. I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'm sorry about that and making that stupid bet. You're a nice girl, you didn't deserve to have gone through that because of a bunch of assholes teenagers.”

"I owe you an apology too, I shouldn't have done that to you." Namjoon said with a guilty expression on his face, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I appreciate your apologizing, but honestly it doesn't matter anymore." You said confident without stuttering in front of him for the first time in your life. "I don't keep past hurts."

"Oh, that's great." Namjoon said smiling. So the elevator door opened, showing the reception. You beckoned to them and came out of the elevator, being followed by them. You looked around the room, not finding Jimin around and looked in the clock, it was still five minutes to seven at night. "Seokjin and I were going to dinner at a nearby restaurant. Since the misunderstandings are gone and we all agree that the past is in the past, what do you think about coming with us?" He asked and you looked at him, who hoped you would accept.

"No, thanks. I'm waiting for a friend."

"We can all hang out together." Seokjin said making you look at him. "After all, we're here for the graduates' meeting. To remember old friendships, I'm sure your friend won't mind me and Namjoon coming together with you."

"Well, your certainty is wrong," Jimin's voice said behind you. Turning back, he was walking toward you and stood beside you with his arms crossed looking at the two boys. He wore a shirt and black pants. The ripped pants on the thighs and a sneaker of the same color. He was breathtaking and that's what happened. You had to hold your breath for a few seconds to avoid freaking out over that man's beauty. From the seriousness he carried on his face, he wasn't happy at all. "We weren’t friends at school and it will not be now that we will begin to be, not after what you did to her. So yes, I will care if you come with us to the point that I'll want to punch you in the face again, Namjoon." You frowned. Again? Did Jimin hit Namjoon? When? You thought.

"Jimin. I didn’t know you had come to the meeting as well." Namjoon said with some anger in his voice. Jimin laughed scornfully.

"Now you know," he said and so uncrossed his arms, surprising you by wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him. He then looked at you and smiled sweetly. "Can we go? I bet you're starving just like me." Oh, you were starving, but it wasn't for food, it was for him. You had never seen Jimin impose himself like that, and that was honestly hot as fuck.

"Yeah I am." You said controlling your breathing that was threatening to get ragged by his fingers tightening around your waist and your face being so close to his.

You just waved at the other two guys so Jimin led you to the exit. Namjoon stared at both of you until you were past the door and out of his sight. He was angry. Jimin had hurt his ego by being petulant with him in front of you and taking you away. He could have made you go out with him so he could apologize more intimately if it weren't for the other guy. But he still had a chance. Namjoon grinned, looking to nowhere and Seokjin noticed, worrying at the same moment.

"Oh no, you're up to something. What is it?"

"I'll take her to my bed, trust me." He said making Seokjin shake his head in disapproval.

"We're not in high school anymore, Namjoon. We're adults. You can't be telling me you're going to try to seduce her just because she said no to you."

"Not because she said no to me, but because of him. See how he held her? Like she was his? At school she would do everything for me and now she ditch me because of him?" He said nonconformist. Jin just threw his hands at each other, knowing it would be no use arguing with his friend.

"Whatever you say, Namjoon, but if you are a jerk to her and he beat you because of it, I will not go in the middle to prevent him split you in half."

You and Jimin ended up going to a bar, having a few drinks and talking, and even though you talked about a lot of different things on the way there, you couldn't stop thinking about what he had said.

"What is on your mind?" He asked as you stood staring at a specific corner of the bar. When your eyes traveled to him, he was with his arms resting on the table, looking sweetly at you.  You wondered if you really should ask.

"Did you ... hit Namjoon?"

Jimin seemed disconcerted and just looked elsewhere. He sighed and took a sip of his drink before he started talking.

“The day you left, I was walking around town when I saw him with Seokjin in the park. I was so upset, so hurt that you were gone, and so angry with him that he was the reason you moved, that when I realize, I was on him, punching his face with all my strength.” Your chin almost hit the floor. You had never imagined that Jimin would have the courage to hit anyone. "He was lucky Jin held me and took me off him because I know that I would have killed him. Because he took me the most important person in my life. He hurt the person I loved the most."

“I’m so sorry, Jimin.” You whispered taking his hands and caressing it. You didn't know you had hurt him that way. "I shouldn't have left, I should have faced all that, I shouldn't have run away like a coward. I'm so sorry for hurting you.” Jimin smiled and put his hand over yours.

"It's fine. You're here now. Back to me." You smiled, glad to know he didn't feel bad about all that. "How about dancing?" He asked getting up and making you smile as he pulled you along to dance a not so slow song that played.

After a few drinks, you and he were already laughing out of nowhere and talking bullshit. The bar was full, as it should be on a Friday night. The songs they played were upbeat and made you feel like dancing, and if there was one thing you had learned in this life was that you should do what you wanted, then you two danced wildly together.

“Woah, we're half way there, woah, livin' on a prayer, take my hand, we'll make it I swear, woah, livin' on a prayer, Livin' on a prayer...” You and half of the bar sang screaming along with Bon Jovi's voice, and that reminded you a lot of your teenage years with Jimin, when you ran away from home late at night to walk the streets, singing your favorite songs aloud. Honestly, it was just the good things you used to remember, not the bad things.

Jimin laughed and approached you, daring to put his hands on your waist as you rocked your bodies from side to side. When the music changed, the rhythm changed totally. From Rock went to a sensual pop. From Bon Jovi went to Selena Gomez and you looked excitedly at Jimin.

“All of the downs and the uppers, keep making love to each other. And I'm trying, trying, I'm trying, but I...” You sang and held Jimin's shirt, pulling him once against you, making him widen his eyes and laugh in surprise. "Can't keep my hands to myself." He laughed shaking his shoulders and held your waist dancing the beat of the music with you. It was as if you had never said goodbye to each other, as if you hadn’t gone ten years without seeing each other, without speaking to each other. Everything was wonderful that way and at that moment you didn't remember anything anymore. You didn't care about the meeting the next day, you didn't care about Namjoon, you didn't care about Seokjin, you only wanted to spend the night with Jimin.

"Can I ask you something?" He said in your ear as you still danced. You shook your head nodding. "Do you still feel something for Namjoon? I saw the way he was looking at you today and I saw how you were while talking to him.”

"No Jimin, I don't feel anything for Namjoon." You said it without thinking about it. Jimin arched eyebrow.

"You sure about that? Or you’re just telling me that to not hurt me?"

“Jimin...”

"I'm in love with you since we met in junior high school." Jimin cut off you words and said. You widened your eyes, staring at him, stepping back, pulling back far enough to see him better, but not taking you arms from his shoulders. “You have no idea how I hated it every time you cried over that asshole. And when you left because of him... Damn... He was such a jerk to you ten years ago and today he was there, staring at you like… like he had a chance to put his hands back on you, and it left me... it makes me possessed.” He sighed, his jaw clenched tightening his fingers on your waist. “I just don't want you to get hurt again, (Y/N).” He said staring into your eyes, seriousness in his eyes. “And I don't want to hurt myself either.”

"I would never hurt you, Jimin." You said with low eyebrows, touching his face and caressing him. "I really didn't know that you… I didn't know you liked me… Back then I never thought anyone would ever like me…"

"Because you were stupid enough to hear someone else's comments, (Y/N). You were beautiful, you are beautiful. And any man who has ever passed in your life who has failed to stay, is because they are all assholes, because besides you being beautiful on the outside, you're wonderful on the inside…" He looked away. "If only I had the chance to make you stay with me…"

"You have." You said interrupting him. Jimin looked at you again. "You have this chance, and you're wasting it talking about the past that won't change, but the future can be changed, it's just up to you."

He brought one hand to the back of your neck, kissing you fiercely. His tongue explored your mouth and his fingers almost pierced your skin in a grip that wasn't uncomfortable at the moment, but you knew the next day would leave purple marks on your skin, but fuck it, you weren’t caring about it.

You two parted the kiss, giving three pecks, then looked at each other and started laughing as if you had just heard the funniest joke in the world.

“Finally oh my god.” He said laughing out loud.

The night would not end there. You stopped drinking, paid the bill and left the bar. You were both drunk to drive, so you just left Jimin's car there and walked back to the hotel. You had already taken off your heels and your hair was all messed up, just like the makeup you had done. No more lipstick on your lips and your mascara was messed, but none of that mattered to both of you. Jimin's hair was also all messed up and it made him even sexier, so every time you looked at him, you kissed him.

The walk to the hotel that was supposed to take less than an hour took almost three hours, because you always stopped to kiss against a wall, deviated the way, immersed in your joy while singing and dancing songs like Glad you came and All the Small things.

When you get to your room, after he locks the door behind you, you jumped into Jimin's lap that carried you to the bed, where he laid you down and climbed over you, taking off his shirt and tossing it somewhere. He lifted your dress and stroked your thighs, pushing his hips against yours, letting his cock brush your pussy over your panties. You tucked your fingers in his hair, messing them up even more as he ran kisses down your neck, leaving wet red marks everywhere his lips touched.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and spun on the bed, getting over him. Jimin sat with you on his lap, kissing your neck, his hands on your waist, making you move back and forth on his lap. You threw your head back, giving more room for him to kiss you as you brought your hands to your back, unzipping your dress, dropping it to your waist.

"Your breasts are beautiful." He said pulling your bra down, holding your breasts and giving kisses over them, making you moan and smile at the same time. You put your hand under you, holding his member over his pants and stroking it while the other hand stayed in his hair.

After unbuttoning your bra and tossing it to the floor, Jimin spun on the bed and laid your back on the mattress and knelt between your legs, pulling your dress down. You put your two feet on his shoulders and smirked. Jimin smiled wickedly, his eyes covered with desire, and his fingers landed on your panties, sliding it over your legs before throwing it to the floor.

“Just look how wet you are.” He whispered looking at your pussy. He stroked the entrance with two fingers, making you arch your back. He smiled and ran his wet fingers up your clit, watching calmly as you threw your head back and moaned at the contact of his cold fingers with your warm intimacy. “Say my name.” He asked softly, making your body shiver.

"Jimin." You moaned in a hoarse voice, making Jimin's cock roll inside his underwear.

"Fuck. Say it again."

"Jimin, please" You moaned again, squinting. Satisfied, Jimin lay on the bed with his head between your legs. When his tongue touched you, you moaned loudly as he brushed your pussy with his tongue and sucked your clit, making you even more aroused. You lightly gripped his hair while trying your best to keep your hips still, but it was almost impossible. You wanted more. “Please.” You whispered and Jimin laughed against your pussy, making you arch your back when his breath met your clit.

Suddenly he got up and lay beside you on the bed.

“Come here, sit on my face." He said, and you were confused for a few seconds, wondering if you should do that, but the alcohol in your blood wouldn't let you say no. You got up and crawled over to him, climbing on top of him and resting your hands on the headboard. As soon as his tongue touched you, you pressed your fingers to the headboard and threw your head back.

“God.” You moaned. His hands caressed your body until they were resting on your breasts, caressing them, squeezing them, gently pinching your nipples, until you cannot hold and move on his mouth. You could feel your orgasm coming and as soon as you opened your eyes and looked down, meeting those eyes full of desire, your pussy contracted, missing something. Your breathing started to grow heavy and you couldn't take your eyes off him, so sexy between your legs, lust spilling through his eyes, his hungry mouth swallowing all of you. "Jimin," you cried as you felt the orgasm hit you, making Jimin growl as he heard you moan his name.

You gasped and swallowed, his hands went to your hips and you fell back beside him. He stood for a moment just to take off his last pieces of clothing, but soon he was over you again. He kissed you, letting you taste yourself, positioning himself and finally burying himself in you, grunting all the way until he was totally inside you.

"Fuck, baby." He said moving his hips slowly toward yours. "All these years, always wondering what it would be like to have you just for me and now ... God ... I love it."

His movements increased. One of his hands gripped your thigh as he thrust into you, staring into your eyes. You pulled his neck and kissed him hard. His movements grew stronger and your screams were drowned out by his mouth on yours. Your body arched on the bed as he gripped your shoulders and stuck his face into your neck, moving his hips hard against yours.

“Oh my god, Jimin. Yes.”

“Yes babe? You like that, hm?” He asked rising above you, gripping the headboard with one hand while the other held your waist.

“Harder, babe.”

Jimin smirked. He then grabbed your waist, spinning you over on the bed and laying you face down. He held your arms outstretched on the bed and slammed into you, making you scream, not even caring that the walls were thin and you had neighbors up, down, in front, and on either side who could wake up with your screams of pleasure.

"Fuck," you shouted, feeling your whole body tremble, with orgasm engulfing you.

"You like it hard," he growled as he thrust hard. He knew you had already come, he felt your pussy clenching around him, but he was unable to stop, taken by the pleasure of doing something he had waited for so long. One of his hands went under you and touched your clit. You were sensitive, you wanted him to stop, but at the same time you didn't want to. You felt your legs weaken, but Jimin's loud moans made you even more aroused. Having him on top of you, penetrating your pussy, going deep, making you go to heaven and hell at the same time, was the best feeling you could ever feel.

“Oh shit." He gasped, resting both hands beside your body on the bed and thrusting hard until he finally let out a grunt and fell on you, his breath heavy and sweat dripping down his face as he came inside you. "My goodness, you will be my death." He said smiling, making you laugh too and give him a peck. "Fuck, I didn't use a condom." He said getting up and hovering over you as you turned to stand with your back on the mattress.

"I use an IUD, I won't get pregnant, don't worry. And I'm clean, you're the first guy I've fucked in 10 years without a condom."

"I don't care if you get pregnant." He said with a shrug. "I would like to have a child with you."

"My goodness, Jimin. We just had sex for the first time. I think talking about children is a little early, but yeah I would also like to have a child with you." You said smiling and he laughed lying over you and giving you kisses over your face.

"How about we take a shower and get ready for another round?"

The next day, Jimin stayed in your room until the afternoon, when he had to go out to get his car and also to get ready for the party. You were nervous, nervous about having to be in the same place as all those people again knowing that most of them hated you at school just because you were smarter than them and not because you did something bad. But with luck, they wouldn't even remember who you were. You would just stay there for a while, greet your former teachers, and then leave to be with Jimin.

Yeah, Jimin. He was what mattered on this trip.

You wore a wine dress that was not too short, it caught just above your knees and put on a black high heel. You didn't overdo your makeup because you didn't want to get attention and waited anxiously for half past eight when Jimin knocked on your door to take you to the ball. The ball would take place in a ballroom a few blocks away. When Jimin parked the car, you watched all those people going in and you recognized most of them, your former classmates who mocked you for pimples on your face. You hated them.

"If you don't want to come in, we don't have to. We can leave." Jimin said calmly by his side. You denied it.

"Its okay. I want to do this."He nodded and so you left, you put your arm around his arm and so walked to the entrance where everyone had to sign a presence notebook. The room was large and decorated in gray, red and black. There were balloons on all sides, the tables had white and red roses on them, and there was a red carpet right in the middle of the room that led up a staircase to the improvised stage. There were tables in the back of the room with food and drink, there was a bar where a bartender was to make mixed drinks.

Jimin found an empty table in the corner of the room, it was a more reserved place so you sat down. It didn't take long for some people to start looking at you, wondering who you were, but you just ignored them by continuing to talk to Jimin. Attention came out of you as Namjoon entered the room, followed by his old group of friends from school. They were still as popular as before. He looked toward you and smiled waving at you before walking and sitting at a table right in front of the stage. Of course. He always liked the attention.

Shortly after nine o'clock, finally the doors were closed and the ceremony would begin. Your former chemistry teacher, Jongdae, was the one who got on stage to start talking. His speech was not long, but you panicked when on the screen behind him came a picture of the class of 2008, your class. You were in the background as always, wearing your round glasses, and Jimin was by your side in the picture, with his arm around your neck. You remembered that day. You hated taking pictures because you felt uncomfortable, so he hugged you so you could felt better. He always took care of you.

He then started calling the old students one by one to the stage to talk about their lives now and then you became even more worried. You didn't know you would have to talk on a stage with all those people watching you. Namjoon was the next person he called, and everyone clapped as he got up and walked elegantly to the stage.

"Kim Namjoon. The president of the class of 2008. How is your life? What have you been doing these 10 years?"

"First, hello everyone. Mr. Jongdae is a pleasure to see you after all this time." He said taking the microphone, waving to the audience and then shaking Jongdae's hand. "Well, I majored in law and I'm a lawyer. But I'm working to be a judge in the future."

"Wow, I knew you would be great in your future, Namjoon. Congratulations." Jongdae congratulated him. "But I believe your love life has evolved too, right?"

"Not much actually." He said smiling, bewildered. "I don't have much time to date and I can't find any girl who fits my standards either. It is very rare to find a girl who is smart and not spoiled today. Most of the girls I date just want to be with me for my money and I don't want someone to be with me for my bank account but for the person I am. So I'm pretty lonely." The audience – the women actually – did a ‘Own’ when they heard him say that, while Jimin just rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I mean, I found one a long time ago, but I was a jerk with her." And his eyes fell on you. making you frown.

"Why the hell is he looking at you?" Jimin asked quietly, annoyed.

"I was a kid, I played with her feelings, I broke her heart and made her cry. Today I regret so much that i was so bad for her. And I think if I hadn't done that, today we could being married and having children because I've always liked her so much. I still like her, to tell the truth. " He confessed and you widened your eyes, covering your mouth with your hands in surprise, as Jimin clenched his fists, looking toward Namjoon as if at any moment he would jump his neck to kill him. "If she gave me another chance, I could show her that I'm not the same asshole I was before."

"I will kill him." Jimin said threatening to get up, but you held him so that he remained seated.

"Hey, calm down." You whispered.

"Can't you see he's trying to make you change your mind about him?" He whispered back, pointing accusingly at the stage where Namjoon was still talking to Jongdae.

"No matter what he's trying to do, Jimin, I already said he doesn't matter in my life and I just want you. So please don't make a scandal.” Seeing the sincerity in your eyes, Jimin sighed and nodded, mentally ordering his heart to calm down. So he leaned back in his chair and looked back at the stage, seeing Namjoon coming down from it and sitting at his desk, quiet, as if he hadn’t just ‘declared’ himself to someone.

"Okay, next on our interview list is my favorite student. (Y/N) (Y/L/N)." When he said your name, you shrank back in your chair, with your head on Jimin's shoulder, waiting for him to think you were gone, while the other people looked around for you. "I know you're here, (Y/N). No need to be embarrassed." Jongdae smiled sweetly on the stage, also looking around for you. He was always a great teacher, always tried to defend you against the stupid students, you liked him.

"If you don't want to go, fine." Jimin whispered to you. "But if you choose to go, if you need help, just look at me. I'll be here all the time."

You sighed and nodded. Finally taking courage, you stood up and everyone stared at you in silence. You could see that many were surprised to see you, because most of them had not recognized you. Your former teacher smiled as you walked down the red carpet toward the stage. He even offered his hand to help you up the stairs.

"Here's my dear (Y/N). One of the best students I've ever had and still being my favorite. From the amount of intelligence in your brain I venture to say that you've become a scientist."

He handed you a microphone, and you took a deep breath before answering.

"Actually, I'm an architect." You said smiling at him, not wanting to look at the audience.

"This is as amazing as being a scientist. But tell me, you weren't at the prom. I remember the principal informed you that you had taken your degree and left school early."

"Yeah, I ended up having to move in with my aunt sooner than I expected."

"Excuse me." A girl's voice caught your eye, making you look at the audience. A blonde girl, you didn't remember her name exactly, but you knew she was one of those who bullied you, has a hand up. "I don't remember you. You shouldn't be very popular because I remember everyone and…"

"I wasn’t popular." You interrupted her. "I was the round glasses girl you mocked." You said pointing to yourself in the picture on the screen behind you, making them start muttering. At a glance you can see Namjoon lowering his head.

“What about your love life, (Y/N)? Is there anyone who has won your heart?” Jongdae asked, changing the subject. You looked at Jimin. He smiled and nodded, as if he knew what you wanted to say and giving you permission to speak.

"Yes, I have a boyfriend." You said, and just as Jimin smiled proudly, Namjoon lifted his head at once, staring at you with confusion on his face.

"That's wonderful. And is he here?" The teacher asked excitedly and you looked back at Jimin who again nodded, giving you permission to speak.

"Yes, he is. You know him. He was from the 2008 class too." And confused murmurings came from among the people who were there, wondering who this boy was. Namjoon was restless, looking at you like you had thrust a knife into him.

"Really? Then call him. I'm interested in meeting the lucky one."

"Babe." You called for Jimin who got up happy and proud to be introduced to all those assholes he hated, like his boyfriend. He walked excitedly across the carpet, and climbed onto the stage, stopping by your side, hugging you around the waist. Jongdae grinned at the sight of him.

"But of course it would be Park Jimin. You were always together at school.. Even those who didn't know you knew you would end up together."

"Yeah, I'm the luckiest guy in the world." Jimin said giving you a kiss on the forehead, making you embarrassed and hiding your face in his chest.

During the time you were at the party, you kept as far away from Namjoon as possible. You didn't want to talk to him, and tried not to let others get close to you either. You told Jimin that you would go to the bathroom and then wanted to leave, so he went to wait for you in the car. When you came out of the bathroom, you almost had a heart attack by bumping into Namjoon who was waiting for you at the door.

"What the fuck, Namjoon!" You exclaimed stepping back and stepping away from him.

"I didn't mean to scare you, sorry." He said and by his voice you realized he was a little drunk. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"We have nothing to talk about." You said walking past him, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Hey …"

"Why are you doing this? You like me, so why are you kicking me to stick with that dwarf project?"

"First, let me go." You said pulling your arm hard, letting go and stepping back away from him. "Second, I don't like you, Namjoon. I did like you ten years ago, when you placed a bet with your friends that you could kiss the weird nerd and break her heart."

“I was a jerk, okay? A kid. I should never have done that… I went to school the next day to apologize to you, but you weren't there, and the other day, I went to your house and your parents said you had moved ... I was an asshole, I just ... I'm sorry.”

“It doesn't matter to me anymore, Namjoon. I don't care about you or your apologies. I'm a fucking grown woman, I don't keep past hurts and I know what I want, and I want nothing to do with you.” You said. Namjoon seemed taken aback by your words, his cheeks reddening as if embarrassed, as if he didn't expect you to sound so rude. And without further ado, you walked away, past the people in the hall and out.

You were walking toward the car that was in the parking lot when someone grabs your arm, forcing you to stop and turn back. Namjoon was really upset.

"You can't be serious. I pretty declared myself to you on that stage."

"I don’t care, damn it. Let me go." You said trying to break free, but he just held you tighter.

"I won't let you go until you tell me ..." He didn't finish what he was saying as Jimin's fist connected with his cheek, causing Namjoon to let you go and fall back on the floor, grunting.

Jimin hugged you, pulling you against his chest as your body tremble.

"Never put your hands on her again, Namjoon." He shouted angrily. "You will never make this girl suffer again."

Namjoon's friends showed up to help you get up while you and Jimin got in the car and drove away.

The ride back to the hotel was quiet, and when you reached your room and sat on your bed, Jimin stroked your hair.

"Are you alright?”

You smiled and nodded.

"Just tired. Can we sleep?"

"Of course dear."

A month had passed since you had returned from the trip. You and Jimin tried to talk to each other every day, but it wasn't always possible. You missed him. There were days when you couldn't even work properly, just wondering when you could see him again.

It was raining. It was a Friday night and Hoseok had called you to sleep at his house to watch movies, but you preferred to stay home and try to talk to Jimin, but he just didn't answer the phone.

You sighed hopelessly and flopped onto your back in the sofa, thinking. That's when your doorbell rang and you sat at once, staring at the door. Who was there at that time? You got up and walked to the door, looking through the peephole. You screamed when you saw who was there, soaking wet.

"Jimin." You shouted opening the door and jumping on the boy, not caring that he was all wet. He laughed and accepted your hug with pleasure, squeezing you tightly.

"Surprise." He said still laughing, putting you on the floor.

"What are you doing here? I mean, I'm glad you are, but you could have told me. I could have picked you up... What are all these bags?" You asked when you realized that he was surrounded by suitcases.

"Well... Remember I told you my boss wanted to transfer me to one of his branches to be vice president?" You nodded. "Well, the branch is here, in this city ... So I technically live in this city from today on. And well... I kind of don't have a place to live yet, and I was wondering if I can't live with you for a few days... "

"A few days? Of course not Jimin, you'll live here forever. With me. Of course you can stay here. Oh my god, I love you." You screamed jumping on him again and filling him with kisses.

“I love you too, babe.” He said giving you a kiss that made your whole body heat up. "Now we can come in and make a baby, what do you think?"

"It’s the best idea I heard today."

all rights reserved © katebacks | 2018/2019 — no reposting and/or modifying of any form on any medium is allowed. no translations allowed.

[twoblueheartslocked]

Seblaine Para- Present Day (NYE1)

Para: Hold On To The Memories, They Will Hold On To You

Rating: PG-13 

Pairing: Seblaine. 

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: New Year’s Eve- Present Day. (1)

Location: Manhattan, New York

Info: A former Dalton Academy Warbler throws a New Year’s party for any former Warblers that can make it to NYC. Sebastian and Blaine haven’t seen each other in almost four years. They haven’t spoken for over two years. Both of them are changed and damaged in different ways. Feelings pushed down by time that never went away flare up in the worst way. 

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, mentions of drug use, death, smoking, drinking, cursing. 

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Notes: Under a cut because of length.

Blaine’s POV:

Breathe in and back out again, Blaine. Count to ten. You’ve got this. Most of these people here have your best interest in mind. You don’t need to worry. Everything is going to be alright. You can get through this night in one piece and you’ll be back home, in Brooklyn,  in your cramped, shitty apartment, in your cramped, shitty bed, in your closet of a bedroom before you know it.

Blaine’s inner monologue, something his therapist thought him to do, did very little to quell the nerves and rampant anxiety that seemed to be chewing through the pit of his stomach as he made his way into the crowded New Years party. Former Warblers- from ages 18 to who knows, graced the walls of the rooftop Manhattan apartment that some Warbler, whose name kept escaping him, owned. For the third time since he tousled his loose curls with product that night he wondered what the hell he was doing here. He’d only been at Dalton for two years before he made the stupid, yet admittedly valuable, jump to McKinley High. He felt like a fraud among the alumni that had spent all four years within it’s halls. Still, he’d told Sam that he would try and with a promise from David and Nick to not abandon him, he managed to follow through.

 He just hoped and prayed to a god he wasn’t sure existed that Kurt didn’t decide he wasn’t too good to call himself a Warbler and show up. His stomach gave a painful lurch at the recurring worry and the back of his neck throbbed, a phantom of clenched fingers squeezing too tight to make a point. And it was so intense that Blaine could swear Kurt was there, right behind him. He ducked his head, shame washing through him as his eyes darted around the room, wide and on full alert. Why hadn’t he worn a scarf? He’d been promised by David, who was promised by the host, that Kurt had turned down the invite, but he couldn’t shake the fingers and the ringing sound of disappointment in his ears that always sounded a lot like his ex-boyfriend’s voice.

He wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of attention he’d get as he was spotted by the first of his class of Warblers. Trent, and Wes were clapping him on the back, and pulling him into hugs. Jeff throwing an arm over his shoulders and shouting over the thump of bass- something about him being the man, the myth, the legend himself. Causing Blaine to tense up at the sudden contact, his cheeks flaring up red and hot at the words. He forced himself to smile, and give a gentle laugh to shake off the attention. Most of these people hadn’t seen him since high school. They didn’t really even know him anymore at all. Few did. These guys- they still thought of him as Blaine Warbler, the face of Dalton- with his easy smiles for everyone, and charisma and charm. If his old friends noticed his unusual quiet they didn’t address it. Blaine was glad for it. He didn’t think he could handle a look of pity for his losses or any of his plights.

He let himself be handed a clear plastic cup, someone must have remembered that he liked whisky, probably David, and he took a cautious sip. He didn’t need to get drunk and uninhibited around people he hardly knew anymore. Someone offered to take his short black pea coat from him and he politely declined, pulling the fabric around him like a shield. He felt a little like his teenage self, putting too much gel in his hair as if it would protect him and all at once he cursed himself for not giving up his coat. He made himself take another drink, hoping he could loosen up just a bit.

Twenty minutes in and he had managed to truly laugh at a few memories his old friends brought up. He even managed to talk about a few without second guessing himself. A little of his old confidence rising to the surface. He hadn’t even noticed that David had left his side until his friend gently tugged on his sleeve, his handsome, dark features looking stressed. Blaine’s body instantly froze, his eyes wide as he mouthed Kurt? to his second closest friend. But, David shook his head and sighed regretfully before he pointed to the balcony and time seemed to stop for Blaine because he wasn’t supposed to be here either.

There, on the balcony, framed by a snowy New York City skyline in a halo of cigarette smoke, looking bored even though Blaine couldn’t see his face, as he was facing the city, stood Sebastian Smythe. Clothed in a thigh length black pea coat, the grey hood of a hoodie peeking out over the collar, his long legs holding up a thin frame, too thin, actually. Did the man ever eat? As if Blaine were one to talk… And suddenly, just like that, seeing his absolute asshole of an ex didn’t seem as bad as this. Nor would it feel as bad. And for a second Blaine couldn’t breathe properly. And his heart throbbed at the sight of him and all at once he truly wished it was Kurt instead. He’d take feeling small and useless over the pain of regret and heartbreak any day.

 Suddenly he was newly seventeen again and both of his parents were still alive and he was happy as his fingers laced with a uncharacteristically shy Sebastian’s. And Seb’s trademark smirk was gone and replaced with an imperfectly perfect toothy, wide smile that made his impossible green eyes crinkle in delight. And that smile was new to Seb and seemed made up just for Blaine for a little while and Blaine was giddy and free in a way he couldn’t remember ever feeling before. They fit together in a way that Blaine had never felt and would never feel again and Blaine’s heart had ached to just stay with him… and-

A slight shake from David brought him back to present time and Blaine dragged his eyes from the balcony to look into David’s deep brown gaze. David assured him that Sebastian hadn’t seen him yet and that they could just leave, but how could Blaine do that? It had been so long… He licked his lips and took a long pull on his drink, draining the rest in one go. He handed the cup to his friend and assured him that he’d be fine. He’d regret it if he didn’t say hello. Right? He stood up, feeling the heat of whisky course through him as he made his way through the crowd and to the open balcony door. He pulled his gloves on before pushing outside, liquid courage making him feel brave for a moment. He hadn’t noticed at first, but Hunter Clarington was out here too, looking like some sort of guard dog with raised hackles protecting his friend and Blaine almost turned back because what must Hunter think of him? Would he stop him before he even had the chance to speak? He braved it and gave Hunter a nod and a twitch of his lips that was meant to be a smile.

With each step towards Sebastian his heart pounded as if it were in danger. Boom, boom, boom... When his voice came out, he hardly recognized it as his own and when Sebastian turned to face him his booming heart ached all over again because god dammit  he was still so beautiful.

“Hey, Seb.” It was soft and unsure and he prayed to see his smile, but knew he’d get the same old, I don’t care about anything, smirk.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian didn’t care about this stupid Warbler party. He couldn't care less about pretending and parading around talking about majors and future plans and cramped dorm rooms and sketchy roommates. He hardly checked his Facebook let alone keep up with fucking Trent or some other random wasp from BFE Ohio. Sebastian didn’t even really know if he considered himself a Warbler anymore. Of course, Hunter insisted that he was. It was Seb, after all, who helped him climb out of his Steroid problem and who was dance captain for his short time at the school. He didn’t really have any friends from Dalton, just Hunter and Seb couldn’t decide half of the time if that was out of “bro code” or “owing him one”.  He had run away to Paris after his heart was broken by every good Dalton boy’s favorite guy and he never went back. Sebastian’s heart wasn’t in Westerville, it wasn’t in Paris, either. Sebastian would know, he had spent countless nights chasing gold in the blue and brown eyes of Parisian men. His heart wasn’t even in his own body that he filled with expensive alcohol and nicotine, that he gave away to random boys under the flash of blue and pink lights, in graffitied bathroom stalls, in the back of expensive cars, in rooms where wives were gone for the weekend.

Hunter had begged, and Sebastian hated it when he begged. “C’mon,dude. Don’t make me go alone. Everyone will ask about you.” “Man up and go. Don’t be a dick.” “Bas, please go.” Sebastian kept insisting in texts and phone calls that he found the party to be a waste of time even though he and his friend both knew he was afraid of seeing a certain somebody there. “What’s the point? It’s a party for people who had their peak in high school. How pitiful.” Hunter ignored him and told him that Blaine probably wouldn’t show up. Suddenly it was the evening of the party and Sebastian was being shoved into an Uber by Hunter who was visiting from Cambridge for the weekend. He chainsmoked the entire way to the party much to the chagrin of their disgruntled driver. Sebastian kept his eyes locked on the rear view mirror to make distinct eye contact with the grumpy man driving, he’d take a long drag anytime their eyes met and the man would huff. Hunter left a big tip, Sebastian winked on the way out with a dry laugh. “That was probably the most fun I’m going to have tonight.”

 He walked into the party, the apartment was nice enough and lit with white Christmas lights strung everywhere. There was generic pop music throbbing through the walls and plenty to drink, nothing too crazy expensive but nothing cheap that would cause a terrible hangover the next morning. There were more than just former Warblers, there were some girls and some random guys. Maybe Sebastian could score tonight and leave early, lock Hunter out of his apartment that he did not remember inviting him to stay in.

Seb poured himself a shot of vodka and tossed it back before Jeff made eye contact with him and tried pulling him into a hug. He held his hands out and simply deadpanned a “No way.” before he turned to pour himself another shot as the blonde prattled on about whatever Ivy League he was attending. Sebastian nodded towards the balcony, Hunter followed and Jeff got the hint. Hunter started to reprimand Sebastian about how he could at least try to be nice but all he could focus on was the light snow that began to swirl in the air and the itch in the back of his throat for another cigarette. He waved his hand dismissively and lit another one, tilted his head back and exhaled into the dark sky.

Seb flicked his cigarette into the New York night. Maybe the ashes would settle among the stars. He tried to focus on that thought rather than listen to the familiar voice he had heard slip through the crack in the balcony door. He knew the minute he turned around, he was going to be Blaine’s fool all over again. Sebastian became aware of everything at once. He could feel Hunter shift his weight, he must have seen him through the windows. He could hear the conversation get louder over the excitement of Blaine being there, could feel the air trying to escape from his lungs, the butterflies fight against his rib-cage, his heart pound in his fucking ears. He swallowed a thick gulp that he hoped the other man didn’t see and took a shaky drag as he stared at the snow gathering on the buildings around them. Blaine loves this shit, he thought to himself. Sebastian hated the cold but he would stand in a blizzard if it meant listening to Blaine wax poetic about snow globes and winter magic. He’d never say any of that out loud, he’d rather throw himself off of the balcony into the busy streets of the city.

Sebastian bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes for a moment when he heard the door creak, the sounds of the party drift on the cold winter air. He needed to suck it up and turn around. He could do this. Sebastian spun around, his green eyes on Blaine’s giant golden ones immediately as if by some magnetic force. He took a slow, deliberate drag of his cigarette, prayed that nobody could hear the rapid thud of his give away heart in his chest. Sebastian noticed David’s tall figure behind him, felt Hunter’s nerves and heard  him mutter “fuck…” under his breath. He flicked his cigarette, “Relax, David. I won’t hurt him.” Sebastian smirked, couldn’t look away from Blaine. He looked...well obviously he looked wonderful, he always did. Snowflakes were starting to collect in his black curls and his cheeks were red from the bitter winter air.

Sebastian hoped his voice  sounded even and cool, hoped his chill ‘I don’t give a fuck’ demeanor that he worked way too hard on was evident, even though he felt like he was sixteen and stuck in the midst of a raging crush all over again.

“Hey Killer. Long time no see.” 

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s brain buzzed at the use of his old nickname. The one that had gotten him in trouble with Kurt, the first time they were together, every single time it was used by Sebastian. Blaine had always secretly liked it, liked that it was his and no one else called him that. He’d never tell Seb, even as they had gotten closer, he always rolled his eyes and shook his head as if it miffed him when in reality it sent the butterflies fluttering around his belly. It was almost as nice as when Seb would eventually whisper B... into his ear when he’d let Blaine kiss his neck… Best not go there, Anderson. That was years ago. So, he rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Not that same old tune again.” He tried to make it sound playful, but really it just made him ache more. He turned and looked over his shoulder at David, giving him a small smile. “It’s okay- I’m okay.” He wondered if David knew he was lying. He nodded as if that would forced the point. David sighed and stepped back into the party, but Blaine could still see the outline of his body close to the door. He was thankful.

There was a snowflake clinging to Seb’s cheek like a lifeline, no wait, it was ash from the careless flick of Seb’s cigarette and Blaine wanted nothing more than to take his glove off, reach out and swipe it away with his thumb. Once upon a time Blaine had been on to him about this bad habit, and how dangerous it was, but couldn’t deny it’s attractiveness… This was absolute insanity. Blaine had only had Sebastian for a short time, but that was all it took to completely ruin him. Perhaps he ruined himself in the process, it was his fault they cracked in the first place. Right? His heart gave a painful thump as he let himself think back to their months spent getting to know each other, the real person behind their facades. He remembered his first taste of Seb’s mouth against his and how he thought, in that moment, that he’d be happy just kissing him for the rest of his life, but then their one perfect, intimate night together proved him wrong. He’d just wanted to touch him forever.

And for a moment, lost in his thoughts, Blaine almost smiled at the memories. That was until he remembered what came after, the news that ripped his happiness apart and left him gutted, the loss that rendered Blaine useless to himself and everyone else. The loss was his downfall in more ways than one and the reason Blaine allowed himself to go back to Kurt and the reason he was skittish now, the reason he hadn’t kissed anyone in nine months, the reason he was stuck in this shell of himself in the first place. Phantom fingers squeezed the back of his neck again and he swallowed hard, hoping it wasn’t noticed. Breathe in, breathe out. Count to ten. You’ve got this, Blaine. He shoved his hands into his pockets, hoping they’d think he was shaking from the cold.

He cleared his throat, forcing himself out of his memories, memories that did nothing but hurt him like they no doubt hurt Sebastian, even though the other man seemed to be doing fine on the outside, Blaine remembered the stricken, pained look and the welling of tears in too bright green eyes. Blaine knew you couldn’t fake that. He took another deep breath, and made himself smile up at the taller man, it was small and meek, but it was a smile nonetheless. He couldn’t bring himself to look Sebastian in the eye, so he instead focused on the little fleck of ash on his cold flushed cheek and tried not to think about how Sebastian was more breathtaking than the snowy city skyline he adored so much.

“I’m surprised you came, it’s not really your scene, is it?’ He forced a laugh, noting how Hunter was flicking looks between the two of them and over his shoulder where David was still no doubt lurking. “I didn’t even know you were in New York.” A lie- and it just rolled off of his tongue as if to prove something. But of course Blaine knew Seb was here, had been for maybe two years. “Are you going to school here, or just visiting?” The small talk would be the death of him. He’d give anything to just be in his shitty, yet cozy apartment where he wasn’t on display and where he could at least try to pretend he wasn’t miserable with a Netflix and donuts distraction. Midnight felt years away.

Sebastian’s POV: 

“Well, you’ve always had an effect on me, B. You have me feeling a little nostalgic.”  Sebastian took another long drag and blew the smoke out of the side of his mouth, one arm folded across his chest to clutch at his arm, cigarette at his side. He heard Hunter scoff and could see the shake of his head as if to say ‘you never give anything a rest, do you?’ How could he give anything a rest when his biggest regret was standing in front of him with nervous tension in the crease of his forehead?

Sebastian finished his cigarette and dropped it to the ground, stomped the flame out with the tip of his boot. It would be a little gift for the random Warbler who owned the apartment. He shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded as Blaine spoke. Sebastian noticed that he wasn’t making eye contact, which was strange for him. Blaine was charismatic and talkative and charming, he could sell paper to a tree. The warm light that normally seemed to follow the other man everywhere he went seemed dimmed, his smile didn’t reach those perfect eyes. Sebastian knew hurt, he knew quiet pain and it was written all over Blaine.

Hunter mumbled that he was going to grab them some drinks and left the balcony to just the two of them. Seb could hear New Years party goers yelling in the streets, could what laughter and dull music and car horns. It would be midnight soon and he wished he was lost in a crowded bar right about now rather than faking small talk with somebody he used to adore. Sebastian hated small talk and he hated faking how he really felt and here he was, failing at both.

“Okay, small talk. Here we go. Yeah, it’s not my scene. Hunter begged me to come. I’ve lived here for a couple years. I go to Columbia. How about you, Blaine? Living your wildest dreams? Married yet? Starring on Broadway? Breaking hearts? What’s new?” He cleared his throat and forced a smirk. He knew he sounded abrasive. Sebastian shoved his hands in his coat pockets and rocked back on his heels, ducking his head to try and get the other man to look at him, to really look at him. “See something you like?” He couldn’t wait for Hunter to come back with a drink to distract his hands and quiet his mind for a brief moment.

Blaine’s POV: 

Blaine let out a mirthless laugh, it sounded small and timid in his ears and he cursed himself for sounding that way. He opened his mouth to reply, to say something that could match Sebastian, to keep up with him the way he used to be able to, but nothing came out. He just nodded, his shoulder coming up in a shrug as if he’d forgotten how to use his mouth. This was hell for him. This tension, this emotion that was threatening to take hold of him. Why the hell had he come out here? To say hi? What kind of bullshit was that? Did he think that it would prove something to himself? That he could do it without falling apart? There was a reason he hadn’t spoken to Sebastian in over two years. There was a reason Sebastian’s stance was defensive right now. There was a reason Blaine was internally falling apart all over again, after he’d done such a bang up job putting himself back together. He should have just left. It would have been better for him than this...whatever this was.

He watched as Hunter left the balcony, leaving him and Sebastian, miraculously,  all alone. Seriously, why wasn’t this spot running wild with party goers? Midnight wasn’t even twenty minutes away and the people of New York would usually kill for this spot. Up high in the grey black skyline of NYC, he could even hear the faint sounds of Taylor Swift singing in Times Square in the silence that lay between him and Sebastian. Perfect melancholy soundtrack for this kind of night he guessed. He opened his mouth to try again, to maybe fill the silence but Sebastian beat him to it seeming annoyed and irritated that Blaine had asked anything at all. The use of his name caused him to tense for a split second and wonder what he’d said to warrant that when he remembered this was Sebastian. Sebastian’s default was usually annoyance. Or seduction.

He tried to make himself relax, and found that his first thought was to wonder how insensitive Sebastian could be to joke about Broadway and marriage, but he had to remind himself that Sebastian had only been around for the first part of his battle. He only knew half of what had happened to him. He didn’t know that he’d lost the music inside of him or that he felt every single day like an impostor in his own life and that love apparently was not for him. He took another deep breath and tried not to notice how Sebastian’s head dipped down for him, ducking so that he could see him. Or so that he could make Blaine see. It was familiar and a call back to younger years and it made Blaine’s heart flip. Yeah, Seb, I do. I see you. But, he didn’t say that because that wasn’t fair. Instead he stumbled over his words.

“I- N-no, I’m a Sophomore at NYU. I, um, I took a year off after high school  because, um, well, you know.” He shrugged. Yeah, blame it on the dead parents. Sure, it was partially true, but Kurt and his “helpful” suggestion to take a break and stay with him for peace of mind was the real reason and it had done nothing but damage his mind. He took another deep breath and forced himself to finally look up at Seb. To look at his face properly, his eyes meeting an intense and familiar green that were hiding their emotions very carefully. Same as always. Blaine had spent months, once upon a time, gently tugging those walls down and with regret he remembered how they snapped harshly back into place within seconds, blocking him out completely.

His anxiety was on the rise again with those kinds of thoughts and he visibly swallowed and took another deep breath. His mantra repeating in his head over and over. Breathe in, breathe out. Count to ten. You’ve got this, Blaine. Maybe it didn’t really work, maybe he was kidding himself but it was currently keeping him from his urge to cry. To obsess over Sebastian’s flippant and annoyed words because maybe Blaine had broken Seb’s heart, but he’d also broken his own in the process. The fucking thing was still in pieces that never seemed to want to fit back the way they were supposed to. But his therapist had helped him see that while his actions when he was younger were warranted, given the circumstances, he maybe could have done it in a better way. Explained himself better to Sebastian. Then maybe the two of them would be someplace else right now and Blaine would have never gone back to Kurt. He also should have stayed in therapy in high school and not stopped going for years when Kurt told him he didn’t need it. His head might be someplace else right now as well.

He tried at sarcasm. “If you consider a cramped Brooklyn flat with a closet for a bedroom and working two and half jobs on top of classes The Dream then sure, yeah, I’m living it.”  The sarcasm fell flat and he only ended up sounding self deprecating which made him want to kick himself because he didn’t want Seb’s pity. He ignored the marriage question altogether and instead chose to focus on what was actually new in his life. What could he even say? Hey Seb, I’m super fucked up, I’ve been in heavy therapy that’s breaking my bank for six months now. I take a shit load of meds that make me want to sleep for days sometimes, or keep me awake for days at other times. And sometimes they make it so I can’t eat, not even my sweets, you remember how I liked those, right? Yeah, and sometimes they make it so I can’t cry and then some days I can’t stop crying. Oh yeah, after my parents died and I lost you I went back to Kurt and he ended up being a bully this time around, like the worst kind. Can you believe I allowed myself to get abused? He struggled even thinking that word. Fuck.

No. No, he couldn’t say any of that. But, he needed to say something. Something that was good and positive about himself.  Just fucking make something up, Blaine. “Ah, well, as I said, I’ve moved to Brooklyn. Like seven or so months ago. It’s cramped, and weird living alone after, um, never living alone before but it’s mine and I get a lot of time with my music now.” Never mind that he wasn’t writing or even playing at all. Only when it came to his school work and even then it was mostly uninspired.

“What about you? Is New York treating you as good as Paris does?” Suddenly he wanted to just tell Sebastian that he missed him. That he thought about him all the damn time and that over the course of the last four years he’d picked up his phone to call him and tell him and to beg him to come back to him over a dozen times. The one time he actually did it didn’t really count because he had been intoxicated and it was messy. Instead he lamely asked, “How’s your mom?” because he’d always liked Sabine and it was the furthest thing away from I miss you as possible.

He turned and looked back into the sliding glass of the apartment door, wanting to break the eye contact in some way, feeling trapped in the emerald hue. He didn’t want to feel trapped. It made him anxious. He could make out the shape of Hunter and David bent together conversationally  as they slowly made their way back towards them. Both of them carried drinks in each hand. God, he wished they’d hurry. He could feel himself crumbling. The facade of happiness he’d painted on for his old friends falling apart the longer he stood out here talking like nothing had happened. He always did this with Sebastian. Always gave way too much of himself away to him. He let him see everything. And maybe it was because with Seb, he was allowed to be too much. Or he used to be allowed anyway. Now he had nothing. Just memories that ate him up all the time. Making Blaine feel the other shitty things in his life even more intensely. 

He wrapped his arms around himself to try and hold himself together. Midnight was close. It would arrive and then leave and Seb would, too. Probably putting the thought of Blaine back into whatever locked compartment he kept him in. And Blaine would go home and feel the chance meeting way too much and all at once and fuck he needed more to drink. His head was already throbbing right along with his heart at the thought of having to sit alone and feel this little conversation.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian could see a million little emotions flit across Blaine’s face. Sebastian had kept track for a little while on social media but, it had hurt him to see that he had gotten back with Kurt. He had taken a step back after that. He stopped checking his Facebook obsessively, stopped staring at his Instagram, didn’t send texts or snaps. Blaine had drunkenly called him one glorious, hopeful night but it was all taken away from him the next morning. Sebastian noticed that Blaine mentioned moving and living alone. He had heard that the two of them had split and kept that information folded up like a secret love note in the back of his head. Sebastian couldn’t keep his stomach from flipping in excitement to basically hear it confirmed out loud. He reprimanded the butterflies battering his ribs, had to silently remind them that simply hearing words didn’t really mean anything and they were all just going to be let down again. “Isn’t it strange?  We’ve both been running around the city for about the same amount of time and haven’t ran into each other? I suppose it’s because you’d never find me in Brooklyn.” Sebastian threw in a trademark eye roll for good measure, trying his best to keep his voice blase. His fingers itched to light a cigarette, his nerves were on fire from the specific spike of adrenaline that only a past heartbreak can cause.

He ran a hand through his hair to shake away the snowflakes that had gathered there and shivered, he wasn’t sure if it was from the nerves or from the weather. “New York treats me just fine. There are so many beautiful men, so many parties. I stay busy.”

Sebastian’s face fell slightly when the other man asked about his mother. Part of him felt angry, like how dare he? Maybe if he cared so much he could have reached out a few times. The other part of him understood because Blaine grew close with Sabine in the short time they were involved. Seb knew that if she were there, she’d pull the other man into a lavender scented hug and tell him in her accent that she had missed seeing him around.  “She’s good.” He shrugged his shoulders. Sebastian wasn’t about to get into any of the messy details of how their relationship had become fucked up since Blaine was in his kitchen baking Christmas cookies with her. He loved his mother, she was his closest confidant. But he had messed up so many times in the past few years that she had developed little worry lines in her beautiful forehead, sounded sad on the phone with him more often than not, cried for him and begged him to slow down.  

Sebastian heard the door slide open, saw Hunter and David appear with drinks behind Blaine. “Fucking finally.” He held out his hand for his drink. “Took you long enough. We could use the pick me up, couldn’t we, B?”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine tried to smile, but it came out more as a wince.”Yeah, I guess you’re right.” In reality Blaine knew it was relatively easy to avoid someone when you knew they lived around you. Blaine would often find himself checking in on Hunter’s Instagram or Facebook or Twitter to see if he was in town. Hunter was much more active on socials and would often post some of the places he and Sebastian would frequent. Blaine knew places to avoid in Manhattan for the most part. Plus, it wasn’t like Blaine had spent his first years here going out and about by himself all the time. No, that was difficult when where you went and what you did was mostly dictated by someone else. When you mostly only did things that they wanted to do.

“Hey, Brooklyn isn’t so bad. I’ve been working at a local coffee shop and a bar there for the last few months and it’s been pretty therapeutic. And sure, the apartment is shitty, but it beats the overpriced ritzy places in Manhattan.” He rolled his eyes, trying to come across as playful. His apartment in Manhattan had actually been incredible. Just not the people he had to share it with. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forgive Rachel for denying what was happening right in front of her. He cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the thought before he was engulfed in more anxiety about it.  “Besides, I lived in Manhattan for the first three years I lived here, so there was always the chance we could have run into each other then. Guess fate wasn’t having it.”

Beautiful men and parties. Of course Blaine knew Sebastian did that sort of thing. He did that sort of thing when he was fifteen. But, he could feel that this was meant to sting him a little and if not, it stung anyway. He didn’t like thinking about Sebastian with random men every weekend, but he wasn’t stupid. Not about this anyway. And Sebastian had never been shy about his sex life. It didn't matter if he already knew though, he could feel his face fall at the confirmation, could feel the sudden stricken look and did his best to cover it up. He bit his lip and forced himself to nod. “It’s good that you’re keeping busy. I’m happy the city has been good to you.” the words tasted rotten on his tongue and where the hell were Hunter and David?

Blaine noted the way Sebastian’s face fell at the mention of Sabine and knew that he’d messed up by asking. Blaine had been incredibly fond of her, he found her glamorous and lovely and admired the way she loved Sebastian so much. But Seb’s short answer and stiff shrug made Blaine wonder if maybe she hated him now, too. Hated him for hurting her son even though Blaine hadn’t wanted to.  He wouldn’t blame her. He still hated himself for it. “I’m glad to hear that.” The words felt hollow even though they were true.

David waited until Blaine could see him before he nudged him and handed him his drink. The cup was full and Blaine had to fight the urge to down it in one go.He shouldn’t be drinking anything at all. It would work against his medicine and probably make him sick but he couldn’t find it in him to care as he took a gulp like the whisky was water. Yeah, Seb had been right, the pick me up was needed. He smiled and thanked David for the drink, his friend asking if he was cool before he moved to lean against the railing on the balcony with Hunter. The two of them were turned toward each other and seemed to be picking up their earlier conversation which left him alone with Sebastian again.

He turned towards his old friend- friend? Lover? God, what even was Sebastian to him? Neither word seemed good enough. He lifted his cup for another drink, his eyes catching on Seb’s cheek again. The cigarette ash was still there. Still kissing Seb’s cheekbone and Blaine opened his mouth to tell him about it when the sounds of thousands of people started counting from the streets below joined by the crowd in the apartment. He froze, the voices blending like a choir in perfect harmony.

They had gotten to from eight to five and Blaine shot Hunter and David a look because why didn’t they tell them what time it was? Blaine had been hoping to excuse himself before midnight, was hoping to have himself hidden away in the bathroom so he didn’t have to hug a bunch of strangers or have someone kiss his cheek and he didn’t have to pretend he was excited for the new year. But, here he was, standing not even three feet from Sebastian Smythe and he didn’t know what to do.  4-3-2… and suddenly there were fireworks bursting overhead, it was a new year and there was confetti billowing in the winter night to the melancholy tune of Auld Lang Syne as it rang out. Snowflakes danced  in the air while the people below kissed and laughed like they'd never feel sorrow again. He wished he could relate.

Sebastian's POV:

Sebastian’s stomach fell, fell through the apartment building floors, the butterflies gone.  Guess fate wasn’t having it. His mouth stiffened and he took a sharp breath. He wanted to pinch the bridge of his nose, a nervous tick of his when he got frustrated. Sebastian fought against his own body, the acidic sick feeling in his stomach, the jittery adrenaline running through his veins, the trapped 16 year old in his brain yelling and screaming and begging Blaine to just fucking take him back. Just tell me you miss me, please. I miss you. I feel like you hate me and that makes me hate myself. “It was fate, sure.”  Sebastian’s voice was dry and he fought the urge to laugh. You know that maniacal laughter when everything is just too much and your lungs feel like they might explode and your skin is burning and all you want to do is scream and laugh and tell everybody to just fuck off? “I guess fate has never favored me.”

He was so over this small talk. He was disgusted by the reactions happening under his skin that nobody but him could feel. Blaine was Sebastian’s first and only heartbreak. He was disgusted by how sprung he still was, had lied to himself and told himself that he was over it. Sebastian had never been over it and that realization was so embarrassing that he could hardly stand himself and he wanted to tear himself out of his skin. Most of the words Blaine was saying were just floating over his head at this point, he was so disappointed with the direction of this meeting. Sometimes when Sebastian got drunk or sad or high enough he would let himself imagine reuniting with Blaine. That Blaine would tell him he missed him and Sebastian would say that he loved him and they’d patch each other’s wounds and kiss in pools and hold hands in parks and share french fries and Blaine would tackle him in his mother’s backyard and kiss him all over his face, his neck and they’d laugh until their stomachs hurt again.

Sebastian took a much needed swig of his vodka cranberry that Hunter had made a little too weak and rolled his eyes to himself. Of course Hunter wouldn’t make him a strong drink. He was probably too worried about him. It didn’t matter, Sebastian already planned on ditching the party for a bar anyway.  Suddenly, the world seemed to explode into noise. Sebastian could hear the countdown echoing all around them. Hunter and David distracted and cheering, clapping each other on the back. The people inside of the apartment wrapped in the golden glow of Christmas lights left up from the days before, some of them were kissing strangers or old lovers, shaking hands and hugging and laughing. A few of the party goers exploded onto the balcony in a burst of noisemakers and music but Sebastian felt like he was alone, just staring at Blaine as he awkwardly clasped his plastic cup. He felt like he was stuck in the worst snow globe ever produced. Such a sad scene; two damaged boys too afraid to fix anything surrounded by kissing strangers and dirty snow and cheering partiers. They say that the people you’re with at midnight on New Year’s eve were who you would spend your year with. The thought made Sebastian feel so alone because he didn’t really feel like Blaine was really there.

In the back of his head, where he kept his most guarded secrets, Sebastian knew he would give anything to be wrapped in the warmth of Blaine, the glow of cheap lights on their skin, kissing the taste of New Year’s champagne away. 

  The words were out of his lips before he could stop them. Sebastian knew his eyes looked pained, and that his flirty voice didn’t match his sad but eager body language. 

“You don’t wanna kiss me, B?”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s body tensed even more at Sebastian’s words. He knew Sebastian didn’t believe in fate or any of that sort of thing, but the way he said seemed so sad. No Seb, I’m the one that fate doesn’t favor. I’m the fuck up and the reason we’re in this awkward, forced conversation. I’m the reason you’re making yourself stand out here in the cold that you hate so much. You’ve never liked it, only tolerated it for me. Blaine used to love the wintertime, it was magical and it made him feel so full of wonder but he’d lost so much during the winter that the magic had turned harsh and had made him bitter towards the season. No, it wasn’t Seb’s fault or fate’s. It was all his. Why were they doing this? Sebastian hated small talk. He’d always hated the way people scrambled for answers to questions he didn’t give a shit about.

It’s my fault you’re out here, making yourself do things you don’t like doing in the first place. I’m always making you do that. Pushing you out of your comfort zone... Always making you feel and hurt and god, you should hate me. The only thing you ever did wrong was let someone like me see how good you are. You wasted it on me.  The words were there, threatening to push past his teeth. He could remember the hurt, no the heart wrenching look on Sebastian’s face when he’d broke it off with him. It didn’t matter why he did it. But he would face a thousand insults and bruises every single day again over seeing that face ever again. He ignored the little voice that sounded a lot like Sam, telling him that he had been forced to face that anyway. A voice sounding like his own told him he must've deserved it.

You don’t wanna kiss me, B?”

Hunter and David were suddenly paying very close attention to the two of them now. And the words sent  a spike through his heart and at first he thought he might have been being cruel. Taunting him, and turning what they had into some mockery, but  the tone didn’t match his face. Seb’s eyes were full of a pain that Blaine knew well, and his face was eager and open and Blaine could, for just a moment, read him like a book. God, how much are you hurting, Seb? And for a second Blaine ached to just pull him into his arms and hold him close. To reassure him that their time together was so much more than just a fling. That he had loved him wholly and completely and still did. He wanted to kiss his face and tell him that he was so fucking sorry for how it ended and that he deserved the world. He wanted to tell him that even when he had gotten trapped by Kurt and manipulated into a three year relationship of insecurities, and head games that he was unable to dig himself out of, he'd thought about Sebastian. Seb wouldn’t have done those things to Blaine.

What I wouldn’t give to turn back our timeline and keep you with me. Make you feel all the love and attention I have for you. I’d make you see that you deserved all of it and none of the bullshit I did. I’d let you help me though what I lost and I wouldn’t have pushed you away, no matter how much it hurt to bring you down with me.

Still the words were locked in his brain, he couldn’t say them. He didn’t deserve that peace of mind. Telling him how much he missed the summer nights and autumn weekends and winter touches wouldn’t do shit. The damage to them and then to Blaine had already been done. Blaine had started it and then Kurt had seen to the rest. He’d messed Blaine’s mind up completely and manipulated him into thinking he wasn’t good enough for anyone. Therapy only went so far and even Blaine knew that if he wasn’t so stupid he would have left Kurt before it got as bad as it did. And then maybe he’d have found a way back to Sebastian and begged him to give him another chance. But Blaine had been stupid and and wanting to tell Sebastian all of this stuff was unfair to the other man because even if Seb gave him a chance Blaine was so fucked up he wasn’t sure he knew how to do any of it anymore. Nor did he deserve the chance. His hands had gone clammy in his gloves thinking about his relationship with Kurt and he wanted to scream. The cheering and the music and the blood rushing in his ears was all too much.

Maybe Blaine was wrong and he was misreading everything. Maybe Sebastian wasn’t hurting and was only being polite to him because he felt sorry for him. Maybe someone had told him about the last few years of his pathetic life and Seb was taking pity on him. Maybe he and Hunter would go home later and laugh at him. He swallowed hard, biting into his lip hard enough to feel the pain, his breathing picking up as he really looked at Sebastian. No, Blaine wasn’t wrong. Sebastian was hurting, the pain was truly written all over his face. In the way he stood, in the way he tried too hard to sound casual. He didn’t need to try, casual was as easy for Sebastian Smythe as breathing. This was different. The man in front of him was feeling some of the same things as him and it made Blaine feel even worse about himself.

He wanted to run, he wanted to scream but most of all he wanted to walk over and kiss Sebastian. The words had left him with an even bigger ache than he had when he’d first spotted him that night and if he didn’t leave soon he’d embarrass himself not only in front of Sebastian but in front of the rest of his old friends. Some legend, huh? He took a deep breath and lifted his cup to his lips and finished his drink, trying to figure out how he could leave. But, as he was setting the empty cup on the ground and his feet were instantaneously carrying him towards the taller man and his fingers were shedding his gloves. And while Blaine knew he couldn’t kiss him, he wasn’t brave enough nor was it fair to Sebastian, he knew that he needed to at least touch him. Show him that he missed him and that he was happy- or as happy as he could feel right now, to see him.

He tucked his gloves into his coat pocket and stepped up to his person. His eyes were level with Seb’s shoulders and he couldn’t bring himself to look up for a moment. Finally, after what felt like hours but had probably only been seconds, Blaine lifted his eyes to meet Sebastian’s. The other man seemed frozen in time. Blaine’s left hand, shaky and freezing, came up to rest against the side of his face, his thumb softly brushing the little flecks of ash that had made a home on Seb’s cheek away. How easy this felt to him. Standing here with Sebastian’s snow cold face in his hands. It felt so good and Blaine’s lips twitched into an almost smile… And what was he doing?  All at once Blaine was overwhelmed. His breath hitched and his eyes were suddenly blurred either from the cold or tears either way it made him drop his hand and shake his head.

“I- I- fuck, um, you just h-had something…” He lifted his hands to show that Seb had something on his face but it seemed silly now and he shook his head, frustrated that he couldn’t get the words out. “I’m sorry. I should go. I have to work in the morning.” A lie. He ducked his head, feeling his anxiety overtake him and why he hadn't brought anything to calm himself down? He looked up, but not into Seb’s eyes, his arms wrapping around himself as he felt like a deer in the headlights. He nodded a goodbye to Hunter and shook his head at David. “I’m good David, I can get an Uber. Stay and have fun, okay?” He turned, head dipped and looked up at Seb through his lashes so that the other man couldn’t really see his face properly. “It was good to see you, Seb, I really hope you have a good night.” He swallowed hard and nodded, as if that would prove he meant it. “Happy New Year.”

Blaine turned on his heel and before David or anyone else could stop him he made his way into the crowded party. He kept his head ducked, bee lining it toward the front door, hoping to god that no one noticed him. He managed to avoid everyone’s hands but not their eyes as his name was called out over the music a few times by random voices, he nodded politely but didn’t stop. He hoped they’d understand and even if they didn’t it didn’t matter. It’d be months before they reached out to him again. The elevator was muggy as he rode down, which made the cold air that hit his heated face seem even more cold when he stepped out of the building.  There was already a text from David asking if he was okay, and Nick had sent a series of question marks. Blaine ignored them, his eyes blurry as he pulled up the Uber app and tipsily tried to type the address of the party into his phone.

Breathe in and back out again, Blaine. Count to ten. You’ve got this.

It wouldn’t be until he was home an hour later, tucked into his creaky bed and numb with a dose of sleepiness via an Ambien bottle and the whisky from the party that he’d allow himself to really feel the events of the night as the emotion and pills pulled him into sleep. His eyes would be red and his head would be pounding in the morning.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian knew it was cliche but to him it suddenly felt like the world had stopped. Blaine was moving towards him, he was taking his gloves off, reaching for him. The snow fell slowly, slowly, slowly and his music-worn hand was on his cheek. He knew those hands so well once upon a time, knew the calluses at his fingertips, had felt them drag across his belly underneath his tee shirt, felt them on his lips. He blinked and stood silently as Blaine’s thumb wiped at a spot on his cold cheek. Sebastian became aware of Hunter and David watching, he could feel the hush that fell over their conversation. He wondered if Hunter regretted begging him to come. Hunter had stood by on the sidelines when the two of them were involved, and had tried to pick up the pieces at their abrupt end. Hunter got to, once again, witness Sebastian’s downfall.

Just as fast as Blaine’s rough hand cradled his cheek, it dropped back to his side and Sebastian felt colder than he had all evening. “Thanks for that.” He muttered the words mostly to himself as he rubbed his own hand over the spot. “Same to you.” Sebastian watched as Blaine hurried through the party. He noticed that he didn’t stop to say goodbye to anybody. Blaine had changed a lot in the past few years, that was for sure. Sebastian never thought he’d witness Blaine shy away from attention or the chance to work a room with his bright smile and easy going charm. 

Sebastian decided that he had had enough of the party and the reunions and took off as Hunter tried to walk over. His friend was talking but Sebastian had ignored him with a hand up in the air. Sebastian weaved through the bodies inside of the apartment and ignored everybody that called out to him, though it was only a few people since most knew better. He could feel Hunter following but didn’t turn around, instead he chose to basically throw himself down the stairs and run into a cab that was waiting for somebody else. Sebastian was faster than Hunter, he could lose him. He shoved a fifty towards the driver and gave him the address of a random club he knew he could score boys and free drinks and drugs at, “and hurry.” 

He lit a cigarette outside of the club and exhaled into the bitter air. He shoved his free hand in his pocket and let the nicotine wash over his nerves. Sebastian could hear the bass from the club reverberate through the air around him. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to scream or send any shitty messages. He was going to finish this cigarette, get some guy to buy him a few rounds, maybe do a few lines in the bathroom, dance until his thighs burned in a wash of colorful lights, and end up in the bed of a guy with dark hair but not the right eyes. 

/fin.