#and if i did get scammed well then i shall never stop crying from this day forward

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt~ hoping you'll like it ♥️

Things between the Nie brothers are not always nice and happy, they fight, just like any other pair of brothers, and sometimes things are said, sometimes these things are heavy and painful. Sometimes they're said in the wrong moment (maybe at the eve of a battle? Sunshot campaign?) and huaisang doesn't know what to do with the broken look his brother gives him before leaving the unclean realm. Because what if he doesn't return? What if the last thing he said to him was how much he hated the man he became?

Labyrinth - ao3

“But I didn’t mean to wish him away!” Nie Huaisang cried out.

“That’s really too bad,” the goblin king said, looking pleasant and humble and charming the way he always did, even in his cape of glittering gold and high-browed hat. “I wish there was something I could do for you, but the rules are the rules. You wished him away, and I took him.”

“Aren’t you supposed to only take babies?” Nie Huaisang demanded.

“Your brother’s enough of a crybaby to count, it’s close enough.”

“It is not!” Nie Huaisang wrung his hands. “You don’t understand, the last thing I said to him was that I hated him! Meng Yao, please!”

“It’s Jin Guangyao,” the goblin king corrected. His smile looked a bit strained. “Listen, do you think I’m happy about this? He’s my sworn brother! I’m only doing what I have to –”

“Oh, save it for Lan Xichen,” Nie Huaisang growled. “Show me the labyrinth already.”

“You’re going to face the labyrinth,” the goblin king said. His voice was very polite, and yet still expressed significant doubt. “You.”

“Yeah, me!”

“You remember that it goes ‘through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered’, right? Not ‘through a nice teacher and a forgiving grading system’?”

“Yeah, well, your father is a fragging aardvark. Let me at the labyrinth already!”

-

“You know what,” Nie Huaisang said thoughtfully. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

The life-sized animated puppet blinked at him. “You – don’t want my help?”

“Nope. I’m good.”

“You haven’t even gotten into the labyrinth yet!”

“It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t have a chance to get in,” Nie Huaisang said, patting around his sleeve and pulling out a fan. “So I’m just going to walk over and beat at the wall till something happens.”

The puppet followed him, staring blankly. Quite a change from his original apologetic ‘I’m sorry, I’m busy with my own things, I really can’t help you, also it’s too dangerous and you shouldn’t go’ response.

“You were blackmailing me to help you just a moment ago,” the puppet said after a little. “Don’t you need a guide?”

“Listen, I’m bad at memorizing things and I’m a little useless, but I’m not actually dumb,” Nie Huaisang said, fanning himself. “Jin Guangyao is a demon of the mind above all else, and the labyrinth is supposed to be ‘fair’ – which means, more than likely, that the labyrinth is a reflection of the subconscious, specially tailored to each person’s strengths and weaknesses. And that means that you, who sound exactly like Lan Xichen, are almost certainly a set-up sent by Jin Guangyao to ‘reluctantly’ aid me and then betray me.”

“Uh,” Lan Xichen-the-puppet said. “My name’s Hoggle, actually.”

“Whatever makes you feel better, er-ge…A-ha!” Nie Huaisang beamed at the gates that automatically opened. “Perfect!”

-

“Oh, don’t go that way,” the worm said. “Never go that way. And are you sure you don’t want to come in for a cup of tea?”

“No time,” Nie Huaisang said. “Thanks a lot – wait.”

The worm blinked at him.

“You’re a pretty attractive worm, in a slimy sort of way,” Nie Huaisang said, frowning at him.

The worm blinked again. “Why, thanks!”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Is your name Su She, by chance?”

“Definitely not!”

“Mm. Oddly vehement of you. Never mind. Just, quick, could you tell me exactly why do I not want to go that way?”

-

“I don’t suppose straight ahead is an option?”

The hands-faces stared at him.

“I’m just saying, I feel like most of my problems so far have come from the fact that I decided to accept the whole concept of turns. It seems like a mistake.”

“…it’s a labyrinth,” another set of the hands said. “You have to make turns!”

Nie Huaisang shook his head mournfully. “I should’ve brought Baxia or something and just – ZIP. Gone straight through. You know what I mean?”

“I’m dropping you in the oubliette regardless of your decision,” the first set of the hands said. It sounded a bit like Sect Leader Yao. “Just so you know.”

“My life is so hard,” Nie Huaisang sighed. “So hard! Do you know what it’s like to be overlooked by everyone? Do you know how hard I have to work at being this useless?”

“Drop him,” the set of hands that sounded like Sect Leader Ouyang said, and the set of hands that sounded like Sect Leader Yao said, “Yes. Now!”

Down Nie Huaisang went.

-

“I can take you back to the beginning of the labyrinth,” Lan Xichen offered.

“What, and waste all that time? I have a time limit, er-ge!”

“It’s better than being stuck in an oubliette. That’s where they put people to forget about them, you know.”

Nie Huaisang’s eyes filled with tears. “You want to forget me, er-ge? You think I’m useless, don’t you? A good-for-nothing, who’ll never amount to anything –”

“Please don’t cry.”

“ER-GE! WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME!”

“Please stop crying!”

-

“So what’s the point of you?” Nie Huaisang asked the Wise Man with the Talking Hat.

“Not everyone exists to contribute to your storyline,” the Talking Hat snapped at him. “Some of us’ve got our own problems. Now hand over the candy!”

“Don’t be mean,” the Wise Man said. He had a white cloth over his eyes, and was smiling like he found the hat funny.

“Awww, but daozhang…!”

“Different plotline entirely, I guess,” Nie Huaisang decided. “Probably just here as a foil. Shall we keep going, er-ge?”

“I can’t believe you scammed me to get out of the oubliette,” Lan Xichen mumbled. “I can’t believe…”

-

“Oh, leave him alone, he’s just sensitive!” Nie Huaisang snapped.

“Am not!” the upside-down creature snarled, curled up on itself and trying to hide from all those that had been hitting him. Its fur was a vivid sort of purple. “Go away!”

“Don’t you have some sort of special power to help you here,” Nie Huaisang asked him as he tried to get him down before the goblins came back with weapons. “Rocks, maybe?”

“…lightning?”

“Well then get to it, will you?” Nie Huaisang frowned. “Wait. Lightning, constantly being tormented, terrible at communication, and purple? You’re Jiang Cheng, aren’t you?”

“…maybe.”

“Well then get down faster! I need to copy someone’s notes here!”

-

“Leave me aloooooooone!” Nie Huaisang howled, running away from the measuring snake.

-

“Wow,” Lan Xichen said, holding his cheek. “You kissed me.”

“You saved me from the snakes,” Nie Huaisang said. “Can we focus on how we’re in this awful stinking bog?”

“It’s not that bad!” a voice piped up. “I don’t smell anything!”

Nie Huaisang turned to stare, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course you don’t,” he said. “I bet the total absence of a sense of smell helps when you eat spicy food, Wei-xiong.”

“There’s nothing wrong with spicy food!”

“You’re short,” Nie Huaisang informed the small goblin-like creature with the big grin and the red ribbon in its hair. It looked vaguely fox-like, or possibly like certain large breeds of rabbit.

“Why you..!” Wei Wuxian crossed his furry little paws over his chest. “Just for that, I’m not going to help you.”

“Uh-huh,” Nie Huaisang said. “Really. That’s awful…oh no! A dog!”

Wei Wuxian jumped high into the air. “A dog?! Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan! Save me!”

Much to Nie Huaisang’s surprise, a furry dog immediately darted out of nowhere – only Wei Wuxian didn’t seem afraid of it, but rather hid behind it, teeth chattering.

Truly, Nie Huaisang reflected, the eyes of love are blind.

“I think the ‘dog’ is gone now,” he said. “Your brave and noble Lan Wangji must’ve scared him away.”

Wei Wuxian’s head popped out from behind dog-Wangji. “Well, Lan Zhan is really cool…hey. Are you trying to manipulate me?”

“Is it working?”

“No!”

“So you won’t help me?”

“No!”

“Not even if it means you get to figure out a really tricky puzzle?”

“No – wait. A puzzle?”

“I can’t believe this is going to work,” Lan Xichen muttered from behind Nie Huaisang. “I mean, I can. But also…Wangji…I love you, but you could do so much better than this.”

-

“Ugh,” Nie Huaisang said. “I’m so thirsty.”

“Have some Emperor’s Smile,” Lan Xichen said, offering a jar.

“Amazing,” Nie Huaisang said, accepting it and taking a swing. “I had my doubts, you know, but you’re actually good for something after all, er-ge –”

-

The golden bird was Nie Huaisang’s favorite.

He’d worked so hard to bring it back to his aviary – it couldn’t be forced, he knew; it would play along at first but in the end it would turn on you and bite you. It had to be coaxed with gentleness and kindness, approached indirectly so as not to spook it, convince it that you really did mean well – that you were harmless, that it had no reason to fear you. It was arrogant, too, proud of its shining feathers and ashamed of the brown plumage of its chick days, which still remained visible on its tender underbelly. Ironically, that was Nie Huaisang’s favorite part of it, the soft and gentle part; it might not be as pretty as the gold, but it felt more genuine.

Nie Huaisang smiled as he brushed the beautiful feathers, and the golden bird allowed him. He felt cherished, treasured. So what if he had to hide all the sharp parts of himself to get this close?

It was fine. He didn’t like to be sharp.

He wanted to be soft. Soft and gentle, careless and free, relaxed and without effort, good for nothing –

Wait.

No!

-

“It’s all junk,” Nie Huaisang hissed at the pile of burning fans, tears in his eyes. “I want my da-ge!”

-

“You’re all right!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, helping pulled Nie Huaisang up.

“Huaisang-xiong,” Jiang Cheng said, looking relieved. “You’re back.”

“We have to go to the temple beyond the Goblin City,” Nie Huaisang said, teeth gritted together. “We have to. I won’t let that bastard…we’re going to go there and throw all his damned tricks right in his face!”

“Just us?” Wei Wuxian asked. “I mean, I’m awesome, Lan Zhan is fantastic, and of course Jiang Cheng is great, too, but…uh…there’s a lot of goblins in the city.”

“We’ll sneak in,” Nie Huaisang said. “He thinks he’s sidelined me entirely – he thinks I’m useless. He won’t be expecting me to get this far.”

“I can get help,” Jiang Cheng said. “I have friends.”

“…not to be rude, Jiang-xiong,” Nie Huaisang said. “But – really?”

-

“You know what,” Nie Huaisang said, eyeing the pile of rocks following Jiang Cheng around, each one painted with a name. One of the names was yellow. Two were in white, with forehead ribbons. “This is fine. I feel like it says something really rude about my empathy for and interest in our junior generation, or lack thereof, but you know what? I don’t care. It’s fine.”

-

“You saved me,” Nie Huaisang said blankly, looking at Lan Xichen, who shrugged, abashed. The remains of the mechanical temple guard were scattered all over. “Over – him?”

“Huaisang –”

“No,” Nie Huaisang said, holding up his hands. “Don’t. Don’t…I don’t want to hear you talk.”

Lan Xichen’s head dropped down and he looked at the ground. “You knew from the beginning what I was like,” he murmured. “I never tried to hide it –”

“I forgive you for being what you are,” Nie Huaisang told him, and Lan Xichen looked up at him, startled and pleased. “I forgive you for not having the backbone to stand up against Jin Guangyao for me – or for da-ge. For being willfully blind for so long, for needing someone else’s proof of his ill-intentions, for always picking him first, for never trusting me…I forgive you, even if you’d never forgive me for the same.”

He dashed away the angry tears in his eyes.

“I just wish this wasn’t a fucking metaphor.”

-

Nie Huaisang left the fighting to the people who knew what to do – Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng, even the rock-juniors – and went to the temple at the center of the city alone.

Some things, he knew, needed to be done alone, even if it was the type of alone when you were surrounded by other people. Even when those other people stood by his side and made him promise that if he needed them, he would only need to call. Some things…

“I want my da-ge back,” he said to the maze of stairs.

“Then go and find him,” Jin Guangyao replied, looking smug, and Nie Huaisang had to go up and down all those fucking stairs, because Jin Guangyao was nothing if not predictable with his trauma, looking all over, looking for –

Looking for pieces.

“It’s just a metaphor,” he whispered to himself, ignoring how tears were streaming down his face. “It’s just – I need to put him back together, it’s fine. I’m not too late – I’m not too late –”

-

Jin Guangyao held Nie Mingjue’s head in his hands, blinded and gagged and bound with talismans, pulled out of whatever oubliette he'd shoved it into to forget about what he'd done. “Beware, Huaisang,” he said, still smiling. Always smiling. “I’ve been generous up until now, but I can be cruel.”

Nie Huaisang laughed, scoffing. “Generous? What have you done for me that’s generous?”

“Everything! Everything you’ve wanted, I’ve done – I cared for you, I gave you attention, I got you out of work, doing your schoolwork for you and coming up with excuses to get you out of saber training. I gave you presents, fans and pretty clothing, and when that brute of a brother of yours tried to take them from you, I rescued you. And then I even managed your sect for you, answered all of your questions, any time you had – Huaisang, I’m exhausted trying to live up to your expectations of me. Isn’t that generous?”

Nie Huaisang bared his teeth. “Half of those are burdens that only fell on me because of you. Why should it matter to me that cleaning up your own mess and satisfying your own guilt is hard? Why should I pay such a price when all I wanted was to be your friend? When all da-ge wanted was to be your friend? How dare you, Meng Yao!”

“Huaisang…” Jin Guangyao shook his head mournfully. “Huaisang, the last step here is to say the words to break the spell. But you were never good at memorization, were you?”

Nie Huaisang bit his lip until he drew blood.

“Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered,” he said. “I have fought my way here to the temple beyond the goblin city –”

“Huaisang, stop! Look at what you’re risking here. You know how everyone loves me – do you think anyone will forgive you for taking me down, for tricking them all? You’ll be all alone!”

I already am, Nie Huaisang thought.

“My will is as strong as yours,” he said. “And my kingdom is as great…”

His voice trailed off.

“I ask for so little,” Jin Guangyao said beseechingly, convincingly, looking just like he always did, like the man who'd been their friend. “Just let me fool you, and you can have anything you want. No responsibilities, no stress, a life of your own. You can even have Lan Xichen, if that’s what you want…”

What’s the last line, Nie Huaisang thought, hating himself for being such a poor student, for cramming things into his mind without any order, for never being able to retain a single drop of it no matter how hard he tried. What is it? Why can’t I ever remember?

“It’d be so easy,” Jin Guangyao crooned. “Much easier than this. Just fear me, love me, believe me, and I’ll be your slave.”

Sharp teeth in a false smile.

Nie Huaisang shook in terror. He couldn’t – his da-ge needed him – he couldn’t be afraid, couldn’t be a coward, couldn’t be good-for-nothing – couldn’t let Jin Guangyao win – couldn’t let him –

That was it.

Nie Huaisang raised his head until his eyes met his enemy’s.

Sensing something wrong, Jin Guangyao’s eternal smile dimmed, and he began to step forward, reaching out, but it was too late.

“You have no power over me,” Nie Huaisang declared, and the world within a world collapsed.

-

Nie Huaisang opened his eyes.

-

Nie Huaisang sat in his desk in the Unclean Realm, trying to amuse himself by trying to figure out what exactly he’d eaten the night before that had given him such bizarre dreams. It was not successful, on account of him being alone.

Alone, just as he had been every night, and every day as well, since the success of his scheme at the Guanyin Temple.

Just as the dream-Jin Guangyao had threatened.

It wasn’t that Nie Huaisang regretted what he had done – the dream was clear enough about that; he’d do it all again in a heartbeat if he had to. But in the dream he’d been working alongside his former friends, with Lan Xichen betraying but then returning to him, with Wei Wuxian dragging Lan Wangji around, with stone-faced Jiang Cheng and the rather interchangeable junior squad behind him…and in his dream, in the end, they’d let him go to take his revenge, telling him that if he needed them for any reason, he could just call.

Just call, and they’d come back to him. Instead of turning from him in disgust, they’d stand by his side…

“Stupid subconscious,” Nie Huaisang mumbled to himself. “What do you expect? That I'd write to them and say ‘for no real reason at all, I find that I rather need you’?”

Silence answered him.

“Well, I do,” he said with a sigh, putting his chin on his hands. “Does that make you happy? I do need you.”

“You do?” Wei Wuxian’s voice rang out, and Nie Huaisang jumped nearly out of his skin. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Nie Huaisang turned, staring: it was Wei Wuxian at the door, the human version of him, and of course there was Lan Wangji right before him, and Jiang Cheng, and the (still mostly interchangeable) juniors, and – and even Lan Xichen, who Nie Huaisang was sure had gone into seclusion with no intent to leave.

“What are you doing here?” Nie Huaisang squeaked. And why hadn’t any of his sect disciples warned him?

“We just bullied our way though the door before anyone could stop us,” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully, answering the unspoken question first. “As for the rest – it turns out that I had the strangest dream the other night, really, truly bizarre, and obviously I had to tell Lan Zhan all about it, except it turned out he had a strange dream too.”

Nie Huaisang’s jaw dropped. “But –”

“I felt da-ge’s qi woven into the labyrinth,” Lan Xichen said quietly. “I thought it’d have long ago dissipated or been locked away, but – it was there, in every stone, in every turn. Every obstacle that didn’t really hurt you, every goblin that was more silly than scary…he was there. It was unmistakable.”

Nie Huaisang swallowed. The story of the labyrinth, baby-stealing wish-granting goblin king and all, had been one that Nie Mingjue had told him as a bedtime story, when he'd been a child in need of comfort; he hadn’t thought of it in years before last night. “But…why…?”

“Because Chifeng-zun has a demented sense of humor?” Jiang Cheng suggested, looking irritated.

“Jiujiu means that he hasn’t had that much fun in years, and also that you should throw a party,” Jin Ling said. “You are hosting all three of the sect leaders of all the other Great Sects. Also, why were we rocks?”

“Uh, no idea,” Nie Huaisang said. “Da-ge’s weird sense of humor, no doubt! Anyway, did you say party? I can do a party!”

He rushed out of the room, calling for his servants, calling for them to bring food and wine and tea, and as he did, he looked out of the window – a golden bird was flying away, looking hunted as if something was chasing it, and even as he watched, it crossed the borders of the Unclean Realm and suddenly dissolved into a fizzle of golden dust.

Nie Huaisang put his hand on the stone wall, and felt a familiar echo.

A very familiar echo.

“Oh,” he said, to his servants, feeling somehow simultaneously sheepish and filled with joy. “And while you’re at it, can you bring me my saber? I seem to have – misplaced it…”

[waitimcomingtoo]

The Proposal ~ T.H

chapter six: the end

Synopsis: fake marriage, real trouble

Series Masterlist

A week later, you sat in a hotel room in Canada with papers all around you. The process to becoming a citizen was a long one, so you wanted to get started right away. You were pulled away from your work momentarily when you heard a knock at your door.

“Who is it?” You called out.

“Room service.” A muffled voice called back. You furrowed your eyebrows before going to the door to inspect the random visitor.

“I didn’t order any-“

You opened the door to see Tom in his regular clothes with a Starbucks cup in hand. You didn’t have to drink from the cup to know it was a matcha latte.

“Good morning.” He smiled shyly and held the cup out. “This is for you.”

“Tom?” You asked in disbelief. “How did you get here?”

You took the cup from him to be polite and took a sip, smiling a little at the correct order.

“I followed the yellow brick road.” He said simply. You gave him an unamused look and took a long sip of your drink.

“Sorry. Was that a bad time for a witch joke? It feels like it was a bad time. Oh God.” He began to panic and looked down at the ground.

“It’s fine.” You assured him. “But what are you doing here?”

“I came to get you back.” He told you. “The office isn’t the same without you.”

You stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say. Part of you couldn’t believe he had flown all the way to Canada just to try to get you back, but another part of you knew that was exactly the kind of thing Tom would do.

“And also, I really miss you.” He added quietly. “I really, really, miss you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” You admitted, bringing a smile out of him. He pulled out an unused barf bag out of his pocket suddenly and you noticed that he had written all over it.

“Sorry. I came up with this whole speech on the plane and I didn’t want to forget it.” He cleared his throat before beginning to read off the bag. “I know why you ran away. You ran because you were scared. You’re scared of being a part of a family again and allowing someone to love you. Am I right?”

“You might be a little right.” You mumbled as you adverted your eyes.

“You’re scared of having people who love you in spite of all your efforts to shut them out.” He continued. “You’re scared of that because you want it more than anything.”

He folded the bag suddenly and shoved it back into his pocket, deciding to speak from the heart instead. He took your hands in his, prompting you to look at him.

“It’s all here.” He said sincerely. “It’s waiting for you. You don’t have to be scared anymore.”

“And what about when it’s not there anymore?” You asked in a weak voice. “When it goes away, like every good thing does, then what? Who’s gonna love me then?”

“I know you think it’s been a long time since you’ve been a part of a family, but it hasn’t.” Tom told you. “You and me sharing that office the past two years, that was the start of our family. All the late nights we spent reading page after page. Every moment you took to teach me something so that I could be better at my job, so I could be like you. All of that was us, you and me, being a family.”

“No it wasn’t.” You pulled your hands out of his. “You shouldn’t have come here.”

“You told me you were falling in love with me.” He ignored your efforts to make him leave. “Did you mean that?”

“Yes.” You said after a minute of silence.

“I meant it too.” He smiled softly.

“You don’t love me.” You sighed. “You don’t even know me, Tom.”

“But I want to.” He insisted. “Despite every effort you’ve made to shut me out, I’ve spent the past two years trying to know you. And every time you let me in just a little, I’m reminded why I never stopped trying.”

“You’re not in love with me. You just have some school boy crush.”

“I started as that.” He agreed. “But it’s different now. It’s real now.”

“Don’t you get it? This doesn’t change anything.” You gestured between the two of you. “Even if we developed feelings for each other, our engagement is still fake. You could still go to jail. I care about you and your family too much to risk that.”

“Okay, here me out.” Tom began. “Could jail really be that bad?”

“Oh my God.” You groaned and tried to shut the door.

“And it’s not even guaranteed I’d go to jail.” He continued as he held your door open. “Chances are, the IRCC never finds out that the marriage started as a scam.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying it’s worth the risk to me. I would risk potentially going to jail to give us the time we deserve. Because I do love you.” He promised. “And I know you love me. As much as you don’t want those things to be true, they are. So suck it up, and let me love you. For Gods sake, woman.”

“I’m sorry, was that a proposal?”

“I’m sorry.” He rubbed his eyes. “There are like 500 hotels in Canada and I was up all night trying to find the one you were in.”

“It’s okay.” You chuckled a little.

“Let me try again.” He asked before getting down on one knee. “Y/n, will you marry me so that we can date?”

“What if we don’t work out?” You fear as you chewed your bottom lip.

“What if we do?” He shrugged.

“Well, I can’t argue with that.” You chuckled.

“Is that a yes?” He asked hopefully.

“Yes.” You rolled your eyes at him. “I’ll marry you.”

“Did she say yes?” Sams voice came from somewhere in the hallway.

“Shut up!” Harry answered him. “I can’t hear.”

“Both of you, knock it off.” Nikki snapped her fingers. “I can’t hear her answer.”

You looked at Tom with a raised eyebrow as he got off his knee.

“Okay, my family is in the hallway.” He admitted. “But it wasn’t my idea. They begged me to come along.”

“All of them?” You asked.

“They really missed you.” He shrugged, making your face light up.

“I said yes!” You yelled out, loud enough for the family to hear. They all came rushing into your room and enveloped you in a group hug, cheering and crying over the news.

“We’re getting married!” Tom yelled over his family’s cheers.

“Fuck the government!” You yelled back before pulling him into a long, reunion kiss.

One month later

“And now, the vows.” The priest said as he took a step back.

You were standing across from Tom on the alter in his aunts hotel on your highly anticipated wedding day. You’d been staying in the UK on “vacation” as you planned your wedding, adding in a few more details now that you had more time. You were still in Nikki’s wedding dress, but this time, you were wearing Toms old tennis shoes. Paddy had lent you a blue handkerchief of his, which you had tied into your hair. Your entire office had come out to see you, all of them insisting they’d never miss your big day. Best of all, Tom was fresh off getting lovely reviews from the media after his book was received by the public.

“Tom.” You began your vows. “You are the most patient person I have ever met. You have overcome everything I’ve thrown your way with grace and resilience. And I have thrown a lot. I even threw a pencil sharpener at his head once.”

You paused to let the crowd laugh at you joke, even though you weren’t joking.

“Over the past two years, you have been by my side every single day without fail. And after today, you’ll be be my side for the rest of my life.” You continued with a smile. “And I couldn’t be happier about that. I’m so lucky to have found someone who refuses to give up on me. To have found the first person to take the time to get to know me, despite every effort I made to never let such a thing happen. Tom looked past all the walls I put up and decided I was someone who was worth getting to know, and for that I’ll forever be grateful. I’ll forever be grateful for a lot of things he’s done.”

“I did not like Y/n for a long time.” Tom began, making the guests laugh. “I thought she was mean and cold and weird for drinking matcha. Like, who lives in England and doesn’t drink tea? I’ll never understand it. But I’ll never understand a lot of things about Y/n. Like how I can’t stay mad at her, even when she throws things at my head. Or how right when I think I have her figured out, she does something completely out of nowhere. Like publishing my book that I didn’t even know she read. Y/n may come off as mean and frigid, but she’s not. She’s actually really sweet when she wants to be. But only when she wants to be. And if you’re lucky enough to gain her trust, she’ll let you in. And that’s when you’ll meet the one the most intelligent, passionate, beautiful, bitchiest women in the world. And you’ll fall just as deeply in love with her as I have.”

You smiled brightly at Tom as a tear of joy slipped from your eye. He reached forward to wipe it with his thumb as the priest went on.

“Do you, Tom, take Y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?” He asked. “To have and to hold, until death do you part?”

“I do.”

“And do you, Y/n, take Tom to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“If anyone should have any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

You held your breath and looked at the crowd, anticipating at least one person to object. To your surprise, there was not one dry eye in the house. Everyone, including your employees, was in tears. You looked back at Tom in disbelief and he gave you a wink.

“By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The priest said. “You may kiss your spouse.”

Tom was quick to put his hands on your face and pull you into a kiss, as he had been anticipated it from the moment you walked down the isle. You kissed him back as the crowd erupting into applause and cheers. Once the pictures were taken and the final words were said, you ran down the isle hand in hand.

The reception was held in a room right next store as Toms family and your employees gathered together. You changed into a casual white slip dress and kept your tennis shoes on so you could be more comfortable. After the reception and a few goodbyes to his family, you drove back to your apartment to spend the night.

“I can’t believe it.” Tom sighed happily as you walked through the front door. “We’re really married.”

“Not yet.” You reminded him as you rested your hands on his shoulders. “Our appointment is at 8 am tomorrow at city hall. Harry said he’d be our witness.”

“You made my family really happy today.” He smiled up at you while his fingers drummed your waistline. “They really like having you around.”

“I like them.” You replied. “I’m honored to be a Holland.”

“You don’t have to change your last name if you don’t want to.” He said softly. “I know it’s a sexist tradition and everything. I wouldn’t be offended if you kept yours.”

“Tom, I want to take your last name.” You chuckled. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had the last name of someone who loved me.”

A fond smile tugged at Toms lips before he stepped forward. He silently pulled you into kiss, letting his rough fingers spread across your face. You tugged him by the tie as you stumbled back into your bedroom, never letting your lips leave his. Tom pulled away for a moment to pull his tie over his head and place it around your neck, using it to pull you closer as he slipped his tongue into your mouth.

“You know.” You smiled against his lips. “We might just get away with this.”

“Oh, darling.” He sighed happily. “I think we already have.”

Three years later

“Hello. My name is Sandra.” Your IRCC agent sat in front of you and smiled tightly. “I’ll be handling your case today. You two must be Mr. and Mrs.-“

“Holland.” You finished her sentence with a smile. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well.” She nodded and shook yours and Toms hand. “I see you’re applying for naturalisation.”

“Yes, sir.” You replied. “I would like an adjustment of status for my citizenship.”

“I see.” She said as she looked over your file. “How long have the two of you been married?”

“Three years.” Tom answered.

“Have you lived in the UK the whole time?” Sandra asked.

“Yes, we have.” You nodded as you slipped your fingers through Toms. He brought your enjoined hands to his lap and held them there while his leg anxiously bounced.

“And you both work?”

“Yes.” Tom said. “We’re the chief editors at the Bullock Publishing Company.”

“And Toms a published author.” You added. “A successful one, too.”

“Wow. Chief editors.” Sandra raised her eyebrows. “So, are you familiar with the process of naturalization?”

“Yes. I have all my forms right here.” You handed her a folder full of your processing forms.

“And you passed the life in the UK test?” She asked as she looked through the folder.

“On her first try.” Tom added. “She didn’t even have to study.”

“Have you ever broken a law?”

“Nope.” You shook your head. “Not even a speeding ticket.”

“Hm.” Sandra looked between the two of you skeptically. “How long were you together before you were married?”

“Two years.” Tom answered. That was the only part you had to lie about, but the rest of your story was truthful. You’d been living in the UK for the past three years as Toms wife, and now it was time to become a real citizen. Sandra looked between the two of you again, not liking how seemingly perfect your story was.

“We met at work.” Tom added when he sensed the doubt. “I used to be her assistant.”

“He stills gets my coffee for me, though.” You smiled at him. “Even after three years of working in the same position as me, he gets my coffee like he’s my assistant. Isn’t that sweet?”

“I don’t mind.” Tom insisted. “After we were married, she changed her coffee order to match mine. Cute, right?”

“We drink tea, actually.” You piped up. “Because who would live in the UK but not drink tea?”

You gulped loudly as Toms leg continued to bounce. You’d managed to get away with it for three years, and you could only hope this meeting wouldn’t jeopardize everything.

“Okay.” Sandra sighed and put your forms down. “We’ll review your case and get back to you in the next few months.”

“Okay.” You smiled nervously. “Thank you so much.”

You grabbed Toms hand and pulled him out of the office as fast as you could.

“She didn’t suspect anything.” Tom said once you were in the car. “I think we actually got away with this.”

“I know.” You laughed in disbelief. “Did we just successfully pull off a fake marriage?”

Tom quieted down all the sudden, looking down at his lap before staring out the window.

“Do you...do you still think it’s fake?” He asked quietly without looking at you.

“Tom, no.” You put your hand on his face and made him look at you. “The engagement was fake. Or, for fake reasons. But the marriage is real to me. It’s been real to me since your mom walked in on us kissing that one day.”

Tom smiled a little a nodded, feeling better now that you reassured him. He took your hand off his face and kissed it as he held eye contact with you.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” He smiled sheepishly. “I was just wondering because I always thought of it as real.”

“Okay, good.” You squeezed his hand. “Then we’re on the same page.”

6 months later, you found a letter from the government addressed to you in the mailbox. You opened it as you walked back inside the house, freezing in your tracks when you realized what it was.

“Whats that, darling?” Tom asked when he noticed your expression.

“The Home Office approved my citizenship.” You looked up at him with wide eyes. “I passed. I’m officially a UK citizen.”

“What?!” He rushed towards you and scooped you into a hug. “Thats incredible. Congratulations.”

“I can’t believe it.” You squeezed him tightly as tears of joy streamed down your face. “I’m a citizen. This is amazing.”

Tom pulled away to give you a congratulatory kiss. He pressed kisses all over your face as you giggled in his arms.

“Wait.” He let go of you with a sad look on his face. “What does this mean for us?”

“What do you mean?” You wondered.

“Well, you’re a citizen now. Technically, you don’t need to be married to me.” Tom said quietly. You gave him a sympathetic look and stroked his cheek with your thumb.

“I know.” You told him. “But I want to be.”

“You do?” He asked hopefully. “You still do, even though you don’t have to?”

“I do.” You promised. “I told you, this is real to me.”

“Okay.” He sighed in relief. “Good.”

“You don’t have to worry about me running anymore, Tom. You’re my family now.” You smiled softly and rested your hand on his face. “And I’m not anywhere.”

“Me either.” He said as he pulled you into a hug. “I’m not going anywhere either.”

THE END

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[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Hey Vaunna, if you ever want to try and write something to make me cry, hit me up. Imma start making a list of things I’ve almost and actually cried over in fics-

Make me suffer, I dare you.

welp here we go! good luck everyone LOL

summary: Team ZIT face a blast from Zedaph's past

...

“I dunno about you but I think having only a set of coordinates sent to our communicators with no explanation is never a good thing,” says Tango, gazing around the clearing.

Impulse nods. “Agreed. Especially considering it’s been five minutes and… nobody’s here.”

As if on cue, someone walks out through the trees. The two jerk in surprise but relax when they register who it is.

“Oh, Zed, it’s you,” breathes Tango. “Why did you send us these coords?”

Zedaph doesn’t reply as he walks over to a tree on the edge of the clearing and pulls a lever.

Immediately, a glass box springs up from the ground and closes around the two.

“Hey!” Tango snaps, hitting the glass with his first. “What the hell are you doing, Zed?!”

“Tango?!” comes Zedaph’s voice from the opposite side of the clearing.

Tango and Impulse turn sharply to find… Zedaph running into the clearing.

After a stunned moment, they turn back. Zedaph is standing by the lever he just pulled, but he doesn’t look EXACTLY like Zedaph anymore. His eyes flash red, his hair more tousled and a slightly darker shade of blond.

“What’s happening here?!” Tango demands. “Why are there two of you? Who’s the real Zed?!”

“I am,” says the newcomer Zedaph immediately. “He’s…”

His face pales as he properly registers who’s standing on the other side of the clearing.

“I’m Helsaph,” the first Zedaph says. “Your dear Zedaph’s hels counterpart.”

“What’s going on?” asks Impulse nervously. “Why have you locked us in a glass box?”

“Oh, cuz I thought you might want to hear about what Zedaph did to me,” Helsaph responds aggressively.

Zedaph slowly moves forward towards Helsaph, but stops several blocks away. “I…”

“What the hell could Zed have possibly done to YOU?” Tango growls.

Helsaph jabs his finger at his counterpart. “You wanna tell them what you did or shall I?”

Zedaph’s mouth opens and closes uselessly for a few seconds, before he squeezes his eyes shut and looks away.

Helsaph turns to the two in the box. “Let me see if this jogs your memory of anything.”

He pulls out a pink item from his pocket and holds it up to his eyes.

Tango and Impulse freeze in horror.

“Look familiar?” says Helsaph challengingly. “Huh?”

Impulse stares helplessly at the helsmit. “I don’t… understand.”

Helsaph barks a laugh. “What, you don’t really think it was the real Zedaph under that mask, do you? Surely you don’t really think the mastermind behind the PR stunt that was Wormman would be out there risking his OWN neck?”

“Zed, what is he saying?” Tango demands.

“I recruited Helsaph to be Wormman and then I abandoned him in Season 5 when we moved on to the next world!” Zedaph bursts out suddenly.

Silence falls. Tango and Impulse exchange a look of horror.

“You didn’t know that, huh?” Helsaph taunts. “Guess your precious little best friend never told you that he’s not the moral angel you think he is.”

“Zed…” Impulse gazes at his friend in disappointment. “Why?”

Zedaph doesn’t answer. Instead, he murmurs, “There. I said it. Is that what you wanted, Helsaph?”

Helsaph grabs Zedaph by the collar and yanks him off the ground. “Is that it?! “Is that what you wanted?”?! YOU ABANDONED ME IN A GHOST WORLD FOR THREE YEARS!”

He tosses Zedaph away as if Zedaph weighed nothing. No sooner has Zedaph landed on the ground than he looks up to find Helsaph charging at him. He can’t react in time to stop Helsaph from slamming his boot into his stomach, yanking all the air from his lungs and causing him to dissolve into a fit of coughing.

“ZED!” Tango screeches, hitting the glass wall with all his strength. It starts to crack under his blows.

“You made me play the hero!” Helsaph yells at his counterpart. “You trained me and spent time with me and made me CARE about you and then you just tossed me aside like I was NOTHING to you! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to learn that the person you thought loved you actually didn’t give a DAMN about you?!”

“I…!” Zedaph’s voice fails and he hangs his head. “I’m… I’m sorry...”

“Oh, you’re SORRY?”

Helsaph grabs Zedaph by the throat and slams him against a tree, the pressure on Zedaph’s windpipe abruptly cutting off his breathing.

“You think SORRY is going to make up for what you did?!”

“Get off him!” screams Tango’s voice.

A second later, Tango himself barrels into Helsaph, knocking him to the ground and releasing his grip on Zedaph, who drops to his knees, gasping for breath.

Impulse appears at Zedaph’s side and envelopes him in a hug. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’s okay, Zed.”

A little way off, Tango is kneeling on Helsaph’s back, keeping him pressed to the ground. As Helsaph struggles against Tango’s grip on his arms, he screams, “All I wanted was to be loved! ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE ACCEPTED!”

“Shut up!” Tango snarls at him.

���Tango, don’t hurt him!” pleads Zedaph hoarsely, his vision blurred. Weakly pushing Impulse away, he stumbles blindly towards the hazy figures of Helsaph and Tango. “Let him go!”

“Let him go?!” Tango echoes in disbelief. “HE TRIED TO KILL YOU!”

“Please, Tango! Let him go!”

Tango stares at Zedaph in disbelief for a moment, before huffing and releasing Helsaph, though he keeps a firm eye on the helsmit. “Fine.”

Helsaph slowly pushes himself to his knees, his eyes fixed on Zedaph. All his anger seems to have vanished, replaced by despair. “Why did you not want me anymore?” he cries. “W-Was I not good enough…? Did I do something wrong…?”

“No…! I never intended to hurt you.” Zedaph’s voice cracks with emotion. “This is all my fault. I should never have abandoned you, I… I was just so scared of what you might become that I never considered I could help you not become it. And instead… my worst fears came true, and it’s all my fault. Helsaph, I’m so sorry.”

Zedaph slowly moves forward and, kneeling down in front of Helsaph, brings him into a hug.

And after a few seconds, the dam breaks.

Tango and Impulse stand together a safe distance away, watching their best friend hug his crying Hels counterpart.

“All he ever wanted was a family,” says Impulse quietly. “People to care about him the way we care about Zed.”

Tango hesitates for a moment, then makes a decision. He joins Zedaph and Helsaph on the ground and wraps his arms around both of them. Impulse does the same on the other side, both he and Tango holding their Zedaphs tightly.

“I wanna be a hero again, Zedaph,” croaks Helsaph. “Have I messed it up?”

“No no, you haven’t messed anything up,” Zedaph says reassuringly. “If anything, I’M the one who messed everything up. Can you forgive me, Hels…?”

Helsaph sits back on his heels, regarding Zedaph with wary eyes. “But… But how do I know you won’t abandon me again if I stop being useful?”

Zedaph anxiously clasps his hands together. “I know you won’t trust me again for a long time, and that’s… that’s completely valid. But I… I refuse to judge your worth based on how “useful” you are again. From now on, you’re my brother and I’ll stick by you, no matter what.”

“B… Brother…?” repeats Helsaph shakily. “You mean…?”

“You’re part of the ZIT family now,” Impulse chuckles, tousling Helsaph’s hair. “Double Zedaph.”

Helsaph stares at Impulse with wide eyes. “I… Why would you want me here after everything I did…?”

“Because Zed made some mistakes and he’s my friend so I want to help him fix them,” Impulse replies kindly. “Right, Tango?”

Tango nods back. “Absolutely. Plus, I mean, you can never have too much Zedaph, know what I mean?”

Sensing that Helsaph is about to cry again, Zedaph quickly steps in and says, “You know, Hels, you actually arrived at a great time. We could do with a hero right now. You remember Evil X?”

Helsaph nods, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. “Very well.”

“They’re back on the server causing a bit of mischief, running a scheme that’s definitely a scam. The server could use a hero to keep an eye on them and make sure they don’t do anything evil.” Zedaph grins. “What do you think? You up to the challenge?”

“I…” Helsaph hesitates. “I’m out of practise.”

“Don’t you worry about that,” says Tango. “We’ll help ya.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna train you back up into the best superhero on the server,” Impulse adds happily.

Zedaph hands Helsaph the pink mask the latter dropped earlier. “Welcome back, Wormman,” he says softly.

After a moment, Helsaph takes the mask and puts it on.

And with this action, Helsaph’s road to recovery, surrounded by his brand new family, begins.

[thefemdomenchantress]

A Bit of Roguery, A bit of Scamming (Not really an erotic one)

It’s been difficult to get in the mood to write erotica lately. So here’s a story that isn’t erotic, but revolves around the enchantress characters. I hope that writing about these characters in some wacky situation will help grease the literary gears in my head and get me writing again.

The largest eastern province of the Kingdom of the Unearthed Lime is abuzz with the story of one of its marquess’s scandals. Marquess of Heat, a proud noble of five sons, is apparently to become the father in law of none other than the infamous traveling swordsman’s partner.

That is correct. Bell, partner and apprentice of the hero, was set to marry his youngest son!

Story tellers and gossip mongers regale friends, audiences, and pug-goers with the tale of how the marquess of heat’s son had been kidnapped by the banditry of the dull star, a bandit group infamous for their fearlessness that had until now been spoken of as mere folk tale, and held for ransom. And the storytellers tell of how the hero’s partner laid waste to the bandit’s keep, descending upon them on the back of a white stallion wielding a sword of shining steel blessed by priests, and freed the prisoner! Each telling of the story more boastful and exaggerated than the last!

One fact was not at all a mere rumor or exaggeration. The town’s clergy confirmed that the wedding was to be in a week’s time and the young earl had been seen enjoying his days with a young woman by his side.

The marquess of heat, although relieved to have his son safe and sound, rubs his temple in his study frequently as the rumors grow and the date of the marriage draws near.

One day he manages to confront the hero’s apprentice alone...

*** *** ***

Marquess: You probably know what I’ve come for. I wish to negotiate the termination of this marriage.

Apprentice: Why, my Lord! How upfront.

Marquess: I know what has happened between you and my son, young sword woman. You’ve convinced my youngest son to wed you through promise of a life of romance.

The Marquess folds his hands behind his back as he gazes into the fire. The apprentice, adorned in lavish gowns and wearing jewels gifted to her by her fiance, sat behind him with a subtle smile.

Marquess: He’s a young man. Future full of promise, head full of romance. When he was kidnapped for ransom, and his mother and I were wracked with grief, no doubt it was the lowest point of his life. I wonder if his thoughts turned to us? Or perhaps he thought only of his own safety? I would not fault him.

Apprentice: The bandits were repugnant, but I assure you he did not have to deal with them for very long.

Marquess: Indeed. Right in that moment of dread and uncertainty he saw you! No doubt you were magnificent, facing off with the banditry, a ray of shining light dispersing the horror he had no doubt felt before at the hands of those rogues, and fell in love with your visage. And that is how you’ve captivated my boy. And that is how you stand to inherit the riches of his inheritance...

Apprentice: Lord Mannerism, please. My relationship with your son is genuine. There is no plot for money. And you speak of inheritances but he has told me he stands to inherit no land or power at all. He is, as we know, a fifth son after all.

Marquess: Hmph. That matter is between son and father! And besides, simply from being my son he has many valuable connections you might believe valuable.

Apprentice: Regardless, I seek to gain no power or land. Only the love of his lordship’s wonderful son.

Marquess: Well I apologize then. Although the wife and I are forever grateful for our son’s life and safety we do not accept you as our family.

Apprentice: Oh, how cruel!

The apprentice gives a cry and buried her face into her silk gloves and sobs. Then she jabs a finger at the marquess.

Apprentice: How could you-! Oh, how could you, my lordship! I will not stand by and let you separate us! I have influences! The hero and I have clout and repertoire all over the continent! Word will spread about your decision!

Marquess: Be that as it may my decision will not change.

Apprentice: Ugh! And what-? You will have that son married to some wealthy noble’s daughter?

Marquess: When the time comes, yes.

Apprentice: Tyrant! Enemy of love! I won’t forget this injustice!

Marquess: Now settle down. The wife and I will not be letting you go empty handed.

The apprentice ceases sobbing and peers up at the marquess between her fingers.

Marquess: Cut off all ties from my son, and I will pay you handsomely.

Apprentice: Oh?

Marquess: Three hundred thousand pieces.

The apprentice looks taken aback, her sadness giving way to shock. The marquess grins. Three hundred thousand pieces is no small amount, even to old money like himself. He has sealed the deal.

Apprentice: Three hundred-? Goodness... You’ve given me a lot to think about...

*** *** ***

As early as the following afternoon the word spreads. The apprentice has left the young lord! Rumors spread. She was bought out by the marquess. Or she was a minx who robbed the poor young lord and left. Or that was simply the way of traveling heroes: all romances are but fleeting moments of levy in a lifetime of harshness.

The town’s clergy declare that the wedding has been cancelled. The rumors are confirmed! The poor heartbroken lord receives sympathies across the province.

*** *** ***

The apprentice approaches the lights and sound of jovial merry making in the woods. She steps out from the shrubbery to applause. Smiling she brandishes the sack of golden coins as tall as herself weighing well over a thousand kilograms. Three hundred thousand pieces worth in gold!

The group of large, armed men all cheer. All of them drunk and in celebration, many with grey stars tattooed across their faces. The “banditry” of the dull star welcome Bell the apprentice to the party.

Apprentice: THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND!

Thunderous applause. Men and women howl in victory. An ancient guild of not violent bandits but cunning rogues. Robin Hood-esque figures always hungry for the wealth of the noble families, and old friends of the hero.

There is drinking, there is play and rough housing, and the more sober of the gang split the profits between the parties.

Rogue Leader: A hundred and ten thousand gold pieces for the guild. “Kidnapping” the young prince was not easy at all, even with his cooperation. A hundred and ten thousand pieces to you, Bell, to share with the hero. And eighty thousand pieces to the young lord!

Apprentice: How awful, to be a fully grown man and still living under the financial tyranny of his father! Barely an allowance, either. We barely needed to convince him to play along.

Rogue Leader: Where is that young man, anyway? He should be here, celebrating financial liberty!

Apprentice: Oh, the hero’s going to sneak him away from his father’s estate to join us tonight! The night’s young and I know I don’t plan on sleeping anytime soon!

There is a cheer and the clanging of glass jugs.

*** *** ***

The hero makes his way through the estate toward the young lord’s room. The glow from the campfire seeps under the door. The hero knocks quietly.

Hero: Lord! I’m here to sneak you out to the meeting spot! Let’s go celebrate!

There is no response. The hero tries to open the door but finds it unbudging, and supernaturally soundless. He presses an ear to the door. There is a muffled voice.

???: ...now I know how it must have happened. Dearest noble little Bell, bless her heart, battled the bandits and when she saw you shivering, fearful, and irresistibly cute, she fancied herself a classical rescue romance heroine. And falling for the romance of it she instantly agreed to marry you when you proposed.

Hero: That’s the enchantress’s voice? But what is she doing in there?

The hero listens closer.

Young Lord: Please, you don’t have the full story-!

Enchantress: Now I know Bell is young and attractive and you think she’d be the perfect trophy wife but that simply isn’t how this will go down. I will never accept you as her husband, and I know my hero would agree.

The hero figures out the situation. Oh no.

Enchantress: Now just what will convince you to call off this marriage and never speak to my darling Bell again, hmm?

Young Lord: Listen, please! Bell and I are not-!

Enchantress: Every man has his price. I know that for certain. What magical gifts can I possibly offer you~?

Young Lord: M-Ma’am? What are you-? Please stay back-!

Enchantress: Just what will make you forget about Bell before wedding day? Let’s find out together, shall we?

The hero hammers a the door.

Hero: Enchantress! ENCHANTRESS STOP! HE’S NOT MARRYING BELL! LET HIM GO! ENCHANTREEEEESSSSSS!

[mainly-kpop]

A Pirate’s Life For Me

Chapter Three.  Pirate!BTS Maid!Reader 

Warnings: tiny bit of blood, talk of scamming, little flirting  Summary:  You had always wondered about pirates, about a life outside of these walls. On your 23rd birthday, you would finally find out what both were really like.  Word Count: 2.5k

You had been on the ship for just over a month, and you were settling in fairly well. So far, they had taken you to an island, letting you shop until you dropped.

‘So, I can buy whatever I want?’ You made sure, holding the bag of gold in your hand. Feeling the weight literally and metaphorically. This was a lot of cash you held, more than what the Palace allowed you. Yoongi just nodded, following you into the small, family run stores. You didn’t buy much, realising this gold wasn’t all for you, you all needed this to survive. Picking out a couple items matching the style of what Yoongi already gave you, you were happy enough. Although, the boys made you pick out some dresses, insisting they would work for raids they had planned. You didn’t argue, happily taking the dresses, the soft silk and pretty cottons making you forget the prices momentarily. Although, feeling the difference in the money bag weight after kind of brought you back to reality.

You insisted they shop some for themselves too, forcing them to buy new sheets and shirts. Not knowing the last time, they shopped for themselves, they agreed, grabbing necessary items before deciding that was good enough. Yoongi eyed up a blanket for a while, in two minds about buying it.

‘I like it, it’s pretty.’ You hinted, hopefully helping him to reach a decision. He just smiled at you, grabbing your chin between his long fingers.

‘If you like it, then we shall have it. No questions asked.’ Really, Yoongi hadn’t bought a new blanket since she betrayed him. Rather fester in the pain than move on, but something about you made him ready to move on.

They ate good that night, Jin making a feast fit for royalty, the rum splashed about between them all.

‘Remember that time, Jungkook got kicked in the nuts by that whore?’ Jimin reminisced, causing Jungkook to physically wince. You looked between them for an explanation, getting nothing bar laughter and dirty looks thrown this way and that way.

‘Please explain, I need to hear these stories!’ you whined, pout on your lips as no one told you anything. Jungkook thought you looked adorable, momentarily having a brain fart.

‘Basically, we took some one-night stands onto the ship when we docked, taking them to different areas of the ship for privacy. Anyways, when Jungkook was finished, he basically went up onto deck, leaving the girl alone. He came back to Namjoon balls deep in her, he wasn’t phased not until-‘

‘Not until, my girl came over sour faced because she was neglected. Jungkook tried to put on the moves then he-‘ He stopped in a fit of laughter, unable to contain himself anymore. Jungkook just groaned, realising he had to finish the story.

‘I wasn’t all that used to the sea yet, I went up onto deck to throw up. I thought I was done but turns out I wasn’t. I was hitting on her and spewed, then she kicked me in the balls... Haven’t been with anyone since.’ You felt sorry for him, wondering how long he had been here without getting his dick wet. You also, couldn’t help the snort of a laugh that slipped from you, setting all the other boys off. Slightly tipsy by this point, you put an offer on the table for him knowing it would make him blush further.

‘You know, if you ever need anything, like that. You know where I am.’ He knew you expected him to blush, to fold in on himself, but he was far too tipsy and far too ready to take you up on that. Leaning into your body, face inches from yours, he whispered against your lips, causing a blush to creep up your face and arousal to pool in your stomach.

‘I might take you up on that sometime, I can’t tell you how painfully hard you make me already.’ If Taehyung hadn’t cleared his throat, you would have jumped the younger boy’s bones. Right there and then. Jungkook dragged his eyes slowly off you, slipping casually back into conversation.

‘So, wait two questions, you are happy sharing women? And Jungkook how long has it been since you got laid?’

‘We don’t mind sharing unless she’s strictly off limits. Yoongi had a girl, she was off limits. Otherwise we don’t mind, as long as she doesn’t.’ Hoseok spoke, answering one of your questions. You nodded, averting your gaze to Jungkook, he just blushed avoiding your eye.

‘Poor Kookie here hasn’t had any in three years, isn’t that right? Poor lad is scared for life!’ Jimin chortled, Jungkook whining in protest.

‘As if you haven’t had your fair share of bad fucks. What about that time...’ And so, the conversation continued, naming and shaming the escapades of these experienced men.

About a week later, the captain proposed the first raid since you joined, all of the men agreeing instantly. Apparently, you were short on food, Jungkook running out of supplies too. You nodded along, Yoongi pulling you into his office again. The boys seemed to already know the plan, Taehyung briefing them as you walked away.

‘You’re a main part of our plan, I need to make sure you are okay with this before we continue.’ He began, letting you sit before he continued. You perched yourself on the edge of the shared bed, crossing your legs waiting for him to continue. He smiled, shaking his head, walking to sit beside you.

‘The pretty dress we bought you? I need you to wear it, go in crying. Make a scene, he’s a sucker for a damsel in distress. He will put his guard down while we grab our things, I don’t want things to get messy, but they might. I’ve assigned Jungkook to you though, he’s a fighter. If anything goes wrong near you, he will be by your side instantly. I promise.’ You fell into his every word, listening intently at every instruction he gave you. Nerves bubbled in your stomach, regardless of having a protector for the raid.

He pulled out the dress, handing it towards you. Smiling, he turned around, giving you minimal privacy again, not like you minded really. Slipping the old clothes off, you folded them on the bed. Old habits die hard. Slipping the dress over your head, you struggled doing the lace on the back up. Now you knew why the princess insisted on being dressed, this shit was hard. Although where she had around six maids to dress her and make her beautiful, you had seven male pirates.

‘Yoongi, could you-‘ Before you could finish the sentence, his fingers were already on your back, gently pulling the fabric for you. You could feel his breath on your skin, his fingertips lightly scraping your back. You hoped he couldn’t see the chills forming on your back, and he hoped you couldn’t feel the clamminess of his hands.

‘There, that should be it, is it okay? It’s been a while since I laced up a dress...’ He mumbled, letting you move about, to test he had done it right. You smiled at his handy work seeing the little bow in the foggy mirror.

‘You did good captain, mighty good.’

‘The boys have docked the ship; we are just waiting on you.’ He had such a soft voice, something you were slowly growing fond of. He wasn’t a pirate in your eyes, the crew never striking you as violent in the slightest. You nod, walking out of the office, to gather with the other boys. Their eyes trailed your form, almost forgetting the shape of your body under the baggy male clothes you usually adorned.

‘Okay, you know the drill. Grab what you can, don’t take anyone back with you, don’t hurt anyone unless absolutely necessary. Jungkook, keep an eye on our damsel here. Get going.’ You chanted in unison with the others a clear ‘YES CAPTAIN!’ before heading to the rowing boat. The boys kept quite most of the time, until Jungkook spied your feet.

‘You don’t have shoes on...’ You smiled at his observation, wiggling your toes for him.

‘Sells the whole distress thing more, no?’ He just sighed, rolling his eyes at you. Namjoon being the one to speak up.

‘Please be careful where you step, we need you, okay?’ You just nodded; a warm smile sent his way. They rowed the boat away from the docks, onto a remote little beach so you weren’t all caught together.

‘I’ll stay with the boat so we can make a quick get away, everyone please be careful.’ Namjoon spoke, everyone splitting direction. You wandered into town, gathering up the courage for your big display. Stepping into the store, you trip on your foot, setting the crocodile tears off.

‘Miss, are you okay?!’ The man yelled, rushing to your side. He grabbed you under your arms, lifting you off the ground. He got you half way before you forced your knees to crumble under you. Letting out another choked sob, you crumpled into the floor, sobbing into your hands. The man just holds you for a moment, letting you sob into his chest. You would feel bad, you could feel bad, but you didn’t let yourself. Instead, pulling the sobs back until they were quiet whimpers.

‘There was someone chasing me, I’m so sorry to have caused you such bother sir.’ You whined, peaking behind the man to see Jungkook, his eagle eyes glaring at the man’s hands on you. The man just rubbed your arm comfortingly, pulling you up from the ground. You watched Hoseok tap Jungkook on the shoulder, the latter giving you the signal to wrap the show up and get to the boat.

‘Why don’t you come inside? I can call the officer over?’ He questioned, genuinely wishing to help. You shook your head, dusting the dress off and wiping your face with the back of your hand.

‘I think he might have gone sir, thank you so much for your comfort, here take this!’ you pulled the gold coin Yoongi gave you for this out of your breasts, handing it to the man. He gulped, hooded eyes looking you over. Planting a chaste kiss against his cheek you ran off, quickly towards the boat.

‘That was some performance angel, impressive.’ Jimin praised, helping you into the boat. You giggled as he patted your ass, climbing in behind you.

‘Why thank you kind sir!’ Your knee hurt a little though, from the dramatic fall through the door. Jungkook noticed you rubbing it, lifting your dress up to look. It was scraped slightly, a bead of blood trickling down your leg. He shook his head at you.

‘But hey, my feet are okay, also this could have been so much worse!’ You chide, much to his disappointment. You were like a child he had to protect, despite you being a year older than him.

‘Not the point babe, I’ll deal with it when we get back on the ship.’ He let you pull your dress back down, covering your legs once again. Realistically he knew you were right. This could have gone bad quickly. You thought about that the whole ride back, how anything could have happened. If something were to happen, would Jungkook be fast enough? Would you be okay if something happened? You decided to voice your concerns later, maybe get one of them to teach you some basic self-defence.

Clambering back on the ship, everyone went straight to Yoongi, handing over the gold and telling them the happenings. Jimin instantly pulled the anchor, sailing away as fast as possible.

‘Where is Jungkook and Y/N? She’s not hurt, is she?’ He worried as soon as he didn’t see you, Taehyung just smiled.

‘She’s not super hurt, she skinned her knee.’ He replied, making the captain roll his eyes. Jungkook would really tend to anything when it came to you, he was slowly starting to realise. He could almost bet gold on the fact you would come back up with a bandage, wrapped tenderly around your knee.

‘How does that feel?’ He questioned, tightening the bandage around your kneecap.

‘Kookie, I’m fine really, don’t you think this is slight overkill?’ you mumbled, leaning closer to his face. He just looked up at you, brushing fallen hair out of your face. Why did he like it so much when you used that nickname? The one he hated so much from everyone else. They made it sound like a childish nickname, with you, it sounded warm, like you were fond of him.

‘I don’t want to see you hurt or uncomfortable. Even if it is a little scrape, even if it’s me making you uncomfortable. I want to make sure I do everything I can, to make sure you are okay.’ You blushed at his words, the weight that they held. Honestly you wondered a lot of things about these boys. They were far too nice to be considered pirates. Just what happened? You leaned in closer to his face, him moving closer himself.

‘I’ll remember that, when my leg is falling off and you can’t do anything about it.’ You whisper, taunting him.

‘I may not be able to do anything right now, but I’ll learn. For you, I’ll learn anything.’ Inches away from attaching your lips to his, you leaned down, lips brushing lips.

‘Guys how’s it going down here?’ Your lips had just puckered, the shortest and softest kiss in history due to your interruption. You both pulled back, him tucking his things away as you pulled down the skirt of your dress.

‘If you’re done, meet us for dinner up top, Jimin says its smooth sailing from here, pardon the pun.’ Jin spoke, giving you a cue to get changed.

‘I have a question for you.’ Taehyung spoke, everyone tipsy from the rum going around. You motioned for him to continue, curious as to what he could ask.

‘Why did you choose to stay? You could have been dropped off, gone back to your normal life. You could be normal. Why not run?’ You pondered it for a moment, not really needing to think. More wondering how much to divulge to them.

‘I had no reason to go home. No love interest, no family, no friends. Why go back to nothing but a job and a room in a Palace?’ They let your answer sink for a moment before you spoke up again. You did have a nice room, with a private bathroom and a big bed. It mirrored the princess’s room, but why wouldn’t it when you were in the room beside hers?

‘What about you? How did you all end up here? Let’s start with Captain, shall we?’

[kirinda-ondo]

So I have some thoughts and feelings about Vishnal Rune Factory

I am aware that approximately two other people besides me care about this, but literally when has it ever stopped me from rambling at length

So basically, I love Vishnal from Rune Factory 4. Like, a lot. I never commit to anyone in farm sims but boy howdy, he managed to hit literally all the criteria I have to be considered a Favorite Character™. He did it so well, in fact, he’s earned a spot alongside characters like Cobalt or Lydia. But like those characters, while there are people who like him, I feel as though he doesn’t get enough credit. The complaints I’ve seen tend to be that he’s boring and that he has the worst proposal event. Hell, one of the first few results from googling him is a thread asking if he’s supposed to be a joke character. While I can see where this sentiment might come from, I’d like to explain the appeal in a lot of the things people find fault in him for (at least for me), and maybe offer a bit of a different perspective, I guess.

If I had to guess where a lot of these problems that people have with him come from, it’s probably the fact that he doesn’t have a lot of lore behind him. To be honest, Vishnal doesn’t really have a whole lot of plot significance. He doesn’t have any direct connection to the capitol of Norad like Arthur or Kiel (via his sister Forte), he’s got nothing to do with the Sechs empire like Doug, and he’s not a guardian like Dylas and Leon. Vishnal, despite working in a castle and serving Ventuswill (who we shall henceforth refer to as Venti), a literal dragon god, is an everyman by comparison. He’s just a guy trying to do his job the best he can.

Similarly, he also doesn’t have a whole lot of mystery or drama behind him either. With pretty much every other bachelor, there’s usually some kind of dark secret from their past that comes up and has to be dealt with, either through the main plot or through their proposal events. To just give you an idea of the kind of things we’re dealing with here, let’s do a rundown.

Doug’s entire tribe was killed by Sechs soldiers, but the empire fed him propaganda to make him believe that Venti was responsible so that he would work undercover for them in order to kill her and take the Rune Spheres.

Arthur was an illegitimate child of Norad’s king and believes that his mother hated him so much she had to take off her glasses so that she didn’t have to look at him, causing him to have severe trust issues (as well as a glasses fetish? Have fun with that, Freud).

Kiel (and by extension, his sister) is trapped in a well-meaning, but incredibly fucked up family dynamic that forced him to be incredibly sheltered while Forte took on the duties of a knight in a heavily male dominated society to protect him. However, since both of their parents are dead, they have no idea that they’re allowed to free themselves and become their own people.

Dylas sacrificed himself to become a guardian, fusing with a monster in order to act as a living life support to help keep Venti alive, but when he’s finally free, he’s hundreds of years into the future, where everything he knows is gone. It’s also implied that before he became a guardian, he was suicidal.

Leon, like Dylas, also sacrificed himself to become a guardian and was flung far into the future. However, he also has the added guilt of believing he left his childhood friend to live the rest of her life emotionally stunted because when he was younger, he made a promise to marry her if she stopped crying so much, but didn’t take it seriously as she did, and couldn’t have kept it even if he did.

Meanwhile, Vishnal has had an utterly average life. In order to help people, he wanted to become a doctor like his father, but felt he wasn’t smart enough, so when he met a butler named Sebastian, he was so impressed he decided to become a butler himself. Though he was worried his father wouldn’t approve of this way of helping people, he was ultimately supportive, helping him train and, through a friend’s connections, getting him to Selphia to work under Volkanon.

Vishnal is basically Clark from Connecticut in terms of how average he is by comparison. However, I wouldn’t say this is a bad thing. Even dealing with one of these traumatic backstories is a lot, let alone trying to harem them all (and don’t even get me started on the main plot’s drama). A lot of the resolutions to these character arcs are followed up by a proposal, and maybe it’s just my age and personal experiences (or the fact that I’m aroace), but when that happens, I don’t get the feeling of “YES, TAKE ME NOW!” I just think “…You literally just found out the thing that’s been screwing you up your entire life was a giant misunderstanding. I get that you’re happy but like, maybe take some time to sort yourself out? See a therapist maybe???”

But Vishnal, for all of his faults (of which there are many and I will get to that later), generally has his shit together. I respect that and find it a breath of fresh air compared to the cavalcade of angst in everyone else’s lives. Not to say that he doesn’t have any problems at all, because then that would be boring, but they tend to be more focused in the present, and are a bit more grounded in reality and less… spectacular. But like I said, we’ll get to that.

What he lacks in terms of dramatic backstory, he makes up for in personality. He’s very… intense, to put it mildly. While not completely hyper, he’s very high energy and it doesn’t take much to get him psyched up. He’s the type of person to put at least 110% effort in everything he does, and nearly everything he does goes towards his goal of becoming the world’s best butler. Unfortunately, as a result, he’s considered one-note. Now, I’m not going to sit here and say he doesn’t talk about butler things all the time, because he absolutely does, but for me, as someone who also tends to get super into things and talk about them endlessly (hence this entire ramble), I find him pretty endearing, if not a tad relatable in that regard. However, for all his single-mindedness, he is still a decently multifaceted character.

Probably the most important thing to note here is that he is a very good person, like “too good for this sinful earth” kind of good. He has a natural drive to help others and doesn’t have a mean word to say about anyone (though even he engages in the ultimate Selphian pastime of Teasing Doug™ on occasion). He’s also honest to a fault. It’s incredibly easy to tell if he’s trying to cover something up because he’s usually pretty much an open book and wears his heart on his sleeve. He seems to expect others to be the same way, as he has a bad habit of taking what people say at face value even if they’ve repeatedly shown not to be trustworthy. This often leads him to be the butt of many a joke or the victim of scams. Other times, lighthearted teasing falls flat as he takes it seriously and winds up getting his feelings hurt. But ever the optimist, he doesn’t let setbacks get him down for long.

He very much believes in the power of hard work overcoming any obstacle, and it seems in his mind, literally anything is possible if you train hard enough, and he’s constantly trying to prepare himself to master every possible scenario, from protecting important secrets by staying silent to becoming invincible to the common cold by constantly being soaked with water. It generally winds up doing him more harm than good, and even Doug worries about him a little bit because Vishnal will do pretty much anything if you tell him it’s special training (though this does not even remotely stop Doug from having a field day with it). Were this not a very “anime” kind of game, it would honestly be amazing if he hadn’t died from any of his training attempts.

Though it may come across as though he has no idea what is actually possible for a human to achieve, he actually seems to have quite a few hangups about his own limitations. He has a massive perfectionist complex and is incredibly hard on himself. He tends to beat himself up quite a bit when he makes mistakes (I mean the man looks utterly devastated every time he screws up lunch) and outright warns the player (who we shall henceforth refer to as Frey) that he may cause her trouble. However, he’s not quite as terrible as he might imply. While he is gullible and very much a klutz, he’s got a wide variety of skills and knowledge he rarely gives himself credit for. For instance, he’s not exactly street smart by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s well-read to a degree that he can actually read things from Arthur’s library (which says a lot because Arthur is a colossal nerd), and he’s knowledgeable on a number of subjects from farming to geography. On the lake date (when it’s not summer), you have the option to ask him more about the kind of training he would do, and he rattles off a list of insane skills (I.e. making tea so good as to become its own singularity…singularitea, if you will) like it’s no big deal. Mind you, given what someone like Volkanon is capable of, that may just be par for the course as far as butlers go in this universe, but for your average person, that’s honestly impressive, if not a bit terrifying.

His confidence (or lack thereof), however, tends to reflect in the quality of his work. In a small example, every so often, he offers Frey his attempt at curry rice. It’s hot garbage, but if she tells him it’s good, he admits he wasn’t very confident in it. However, we see in his prerequisite event (which is a much more overt example) that when he’s more confident in himself, he’s not only able to make actual food, but is downright hypercompetent in his job. For context, he is conned into buying an overpriced statue that, according to blacksmith and Professional Vishnal Scammer™ Bado, will allegedly make him an expert overnight. Wholly believing in this thing, he’s suddenly amazing… until he accidentally knocks it over and breaks it. Utterly devastated and unconvinced that his improved performance came from within, he’s suddenly infinitely worse than he was when he started. Things of course balance themselves out, but we come away realizing that if he had as much self-confidence as he did pure determination, he could easily reach a point where he’d be absolutely unstoppable.

We also see this lack of confidence manifest itself in regards to Frey. If she pursues a relationship, we get quite a bit of evidence that he doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. Before he formally asks her out, he lists all the things he does wrong; all the ways he’s a novice, essentially warning her of what she may have to deal with. However, if Frey’s conquered the RNG and made it this far, then it’s safe to say that she’s prepared to take the risk. On the airship date, he outright says once he becomes an expert, he’ll finally be the perfect man for her. Even during his own damn proposal event, he tells her he’s unreliable. This is incredibly far from the case, as even if he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, he’s doing everything he can to make this work. He works himself even harder to maximize his time with her, he buys (phony) charms from Bado to keep them together, he asks other bachelors for advice (as poor is it may be at times), he literally asks the entire town for date spot reviews, as well as just straight up reading up on how to be the best possible boyfriend.

Eventually, should the RNG gods be smiling, this brings us to the proposal event. Now, one might imagine that this event might follow the thread we’ve been building up here into him learning maybe not to beat himself up so much or becoming a little more self-confident, but no. While this sort of thing happens for a number of other bachelors/bachelorettes, where their prerequisite events foreshadow what’s to come in their proposal events, that isn’t quite the case here. While that development does occur to a degree, it’s a bit more subtle and is not really the focus of this event.

His proposal event instead mainly forces him to consider his priorities. So for some context, a butler judge has come, and if Vishnal does well, he may finally earn his first star and be one step closer to being the ultimate butler. In fact, his abilities are already recognized as worthy of the title, but there’s just once teensy little problem. You see, in butlerdom, your master and your partner being one in the same is a bit of a taboo. Dating your boss creates a whole host of problems, after all; not just for you, but your reputation. And so this is where the conundrum comes in. We already know he’s incredibly dedicated to this career choice to the point that if he doesn’t succeed, he will literally die trying, but he’s now just as dedicated to Frey. Being that this is a proposal event though, you pretty much already know how this is going to end, but just hear me out.

This is currently the biggest decision he’s ever made in his life, and is essentially the emotional equivalent of having to choose between losing your right hand or your left. He obviously doesn’t want to throw away years of hard work, but he’s also not the type to just leave someone behind in pursuit of his own interests. Frey ultimately saves him from waffling back and forth about it forever by breaking things off so he can pursue his dreams, but literally no one is happy with this. Even the judge feels bad and he’s the one who started it. But with this little problem out of the way, Vishnal is free to accept his new rank. Except he doesn’t. After a dramatic, heartfelt speech pointing out that this actually puts him in a better position to serve Frey, and how reputations shouldn’t matter more than protecting the person you’re entrusted to, he whisks her away and proposes. Before she can properly answer though, he’s called back to the castle. In the end, the judge is moved by his dedication, and so Vishnal can now have his cake and eat it too. Short, sweet, and to the point.

It’s probably about half the length of the other bachelors’ events, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad. It’s actually a pretty nice contrast between the other proposals. Leon, Arthur, and Kiel have the common thread of having to sort out baggage from their past before they decide to marry. Doug and Dylas, while their events are more lighthearted, are a bit more focused on a lack of communication and resulting misunderstandings that come from trying to surprise Frey with a ring. However, because Vishnal’s life isn’t a veritable conga line of angst and trauma, his obstacle to marriage is entirely in the present, and because he’s so open about his feelings, he and Frey actually have a chance to sit down and discuss where to go from here, so there’s no communication issues. Plus, his situation, while a bit dramatically handled because anime, is actually kind of relatable. Having to choose between a career and a relationship is a situation that happens to a pretty good number of people, and it’s rarely an easy decision. It’s a logical conflict for such a work focused character.

While it doesn’t really overtly follow up on the initial thread that seemed to have been laid out of him learning to be more confident in himself, the transition is definitely there, at least in regards to Frey. It’s just not quite as spelled out in events. Even in his proposal, he’s still self-deprecating, but it’s a far cry from the absolute list of faults he gave initially asking her out. Not to mention, it absolutely takes a whole lot of courage to one, choose love over your life’s dream, and two, to do it in the incredibly dramatic and utterly obliterating manner that he did. The relationship also changes some post-marriage. Post-marriage Vishnal is a much different beast than pre-marriage Vishnal. As we’ve discussed, in the dating phase, he’s a lot less sure of how boyfriend things work, and resorts to asking others for advice and outright studying. Now that he’s married, he’s less reliant on others and is much more forward. He actually tends to be the one to initiate romantic gestures, from goodnight kisses to using his own sappy lines as opposed to borrowing them from Leon, among other things. Truly a far cry from the days where he would agonize over whether or not to even hold Frey’s hand. Sadly, while date dialogue doesn’t really change (with the exception of the room date, where he literally states he’s past being shy and awkward), there’s definitely a more visible shift in the focus of his other dialogue from being even good enough for Frey to being more protective. Jury’s still out on how much this development has affected his work performance, as there’s no real new mentions of it after the fact (though after marriage he is finally capable of making edible curry rice…sometimes!), but at least some degree of his self-esteem is improving.

So basically, to summarize, Vishnal isn’t a bad character. He’s just handled differently than the other bachelors. He’s a bit more grounded in reality as far as his backstory and conflicts are concerned. His development also tends to happen outside of his events rather than being the feature, making it a bit more subtle, and thus a bit harder to spot from a glance, but it’s there. For as much fun as he is as a character, I admit he’s definitely very tame compared to the other bachelor options, even despite the localizers’ attempts to make him spicier, so he’s not for everyone. I can see why others might prefer someone a little more exciting or mysterious, like Leon (who seems to be like, god tier as far as RF4 bachelors go), but I hope I’ve at least adequately explained why Vishnal might be appealing to some and has more merit than just a joke character. After all, vanilla is a flavor too, and plenty of people like that.

Anyhoo, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[greengargouille]

((Here it is, in an hurry, the “I want to talk about my headcanons for Group 2′s remaining bugs but since it’s going to be long I might as well make it into a fic format” post. You know, before KoroQuest destroy it completely :’D Note: 'Peep’, ‘Slumber’ and the Goddess Ring are all things that exist in Dragon Quest. Because you know, if I spend half an hour on the DQ wiki then I might as well use that.))

What makes a good scout, when you explore a dungeon?

The response might depends on the adventurers you ask. Smaller groups need their members to multitask, so someone whose skills in reconnaissance can also be helpful in battle are a must; for bigger teams where people tends toward specialisation, the opposite may apply. However, they would certainly agree on at least two things.

First, a scout need to be observant and patient. Not only it is their whole work to obtain information, the fact they have to move away from their group, alone in enemy territory, means nobody can save them if they fall into a trap. Second, a scout needs to be small, quick and flexible. One that can access multiple places without being seen, while having the capacities to run away if they do end up discovered. 

Surprisingly, finding someone having both points can be hard. Taking class E as an example, Takebayashi and Fuwa both have excellent observation and analysis skills, but they lack in speed and stealth. On the opposite, Okano and Kimura have the perfect physical skills for a scout, but their impulsivity and complete disregard for traps make them surprisingly vulnerable.

Right, someone having all those skills is rare. A small, furtive observer... If there was anyone like that in class E, they would probably have a central role. One might even make them a protagonist. ...Of course, all of this is a bit of a moot point when someone just happens to have a bug circumventing most of those problems.

Mimura’s bug: When alone, monsters who meet him don’t start a fight (doesn’t work on boss or guardian-type monsters)

It was far from foolproof, of course. For one, it was useless against humans, so it offered no particular protection in dungeons like Irina’s tower, back when she was charming villagers left and right. Then, there was still the famous problem of getting caught into traps, though for this one Mimura wasn’t too bothered, as he had a pretty good awareness of his surroundings. More dangerous, there was still the chance of encountering a monster on which this bug wouldn’t work- this had caused him problem during his precedent year, then unaware of the limitations of his bug. No dragon hoarding his treasures, no black knight threatening that none shall pass his bridge, no mimic. Now that one was troublesome, as it means he couldn’t just steal the content of any chest he found on his way; the appraisal skill necessary to distinguish the monster from the object could only be learned by experienced mages, and the items one could use as an alternative were either expensive or an exclusivity of the church, so class E was out of luck on this. Well, except for one person.

“Alright, I checked the way, there’s a room where we could sit down and plan our next moves. Fuwa, there’s a chest there, could you verify it? -No problem!”

Thus was an usual scene for Group 2. Whenever they were low in health and items, and whenever the way wasn’t clogged by a monster, Mimura would scout the area first to make sure they could progress without trouble. And if there was any chest that needed inspection, Fuwa could handle it.

“It’s dusty.” Hayami noted while entering the room. A mostly bare place, with stone walls and wooden benches around a table, a rack stand to put one’s weapons, and most importantly, an massive, tough-looking chest. “It looks like an abandoned rest room. -Right, it’s weird it’s not used anymore.” Nakamura commented. “Even monsters go on patrols. If that chest’s a mimic, though, that might explain why they’re avoiding it.” Monsters or humans, mimics didn’t care much who opened them, as long as they were somehow edible. “Guess it’s my turn to act, then?” Fuwa planted herself in front of the chest. “Peep!”

Nothing seemed to happen, but the girl immediately blinked.

“Hmm... I see a red aura around it, so... probably safe?”

This is a sentence that no other group would be able to hear. Anyone knowing about the ‘Peep’ skill could tell you about the three colours a chest could take under its effect: blue and yellow were nice to have, as they indicated either an item or money. Red, however... definitely some kind of mimic. That is, unless said skill had a bug. Fuwa’s bug: Have access to all appraisal skills from level 1 without using MP, but have a 99% probability of giving a wrong result.

A skill that gave the wrong answer pretty much all the time wasn’t very useful, but with a bit of logic, it still could be a great hint. Appraising an equipment for a curse and knowing ‘this object is safe’ have 99% chances of being wrong was more than enough to deduce it would be a bad decision to wear it. As for treasure chests... A blue or yellow aura was still half a chance to be a mimic, but red was, indeed, a safe result. Of course, there was still the 1% chance of Fuwa actually getting it right, but the laws of storytelling meant it would only actually happen when it would be either tragic or funny. Not during an exposition story.

“Alright, let’s see what this huge babe got inside!” Okajima opened the chest as soon as Fuwa spoke.

“Money would probably be more useful,” commented Nakamura. “Merchants are getting rather cheap when buying used goods, it’s almost a scam at this point. -But if we get more items, we don’t have to rely on them as much in the first place. Ah, shit! -What is it? Found something we can’t use? -No, we can probably use it, but...” The boy put a knee on the floor, arm deep in the chest, from which he pulled a tiny ring. “That’s the only thing in it. -...Stupid standardised chest sizes. -Doesn’t seems to be cursed, at least.” Fuwa informed them. “What is it supposed to do? -Boost one’s Coolness, according to the description. -Great, so nothing of interest for us. -Eh, speak for yourself!” Okajima objected. “If nobody want it then I’m taking it. Actually, if somebody did want it, that’s too late, I claimed it first.” The boy glared at the nearest person near him, that is to say, Sugaya. “Eh, not interested.” The boy replied. “Of course you aren’t,” commented Mimura, rolling his eyes at the scene, “you already have the highest Coolness stat among us boys. -It’s not even that, I still need to wear my Goddess Ring to restore MP. Now that I think about it, it’s weird we can only equip one magic ring at a time. Anyways, are you sure Chiba isn’t the one with the highest Coolness? Like, if he were to part his hair so we can see his e- -What about that Slumber ability you were researching?” Chiba immediately asked, a bit too quickly for it to be natural. “You said it was more efficient to restore MP. -Yeah, about that... I wanted to try it, but sleepwalking is pretty hard, you know? And there’s still the problem of being asleep at the start of battles... -That’s the opposite of a problem, actually.” Nakamura interjected. “I can just switch your status with one from a monster, that’s one less trouble to worry about. -I... guess? I haven’t thought that far away, to be honest. All I can manage for now is falling asleep at the start of classes... -So, nothing different from before.” Chiba noted, not without amusement. “How lucky, I wish I could take a nap that easily.” Nakamura sat down on one of the benches. “Even standing around waiting isn’t that restful. -Right, I guess it’s time to take a pause.” Mimura sat next to her, a bit relieved.

If it was just him, then he would probably had stayed quiet and continued, rather than make the team wait, so it was nice that someone else agreed to stop and rest for a moment. He supposed that made sense, too: even if the rest of the group, understandably, didn’t accompany him for reconnaissance work, they couldn’t exactly relax and fool around. And it’s not like he left for long periods of time either. Everyone eventually installed themselves around the table, Okajima with an audible groan of satisfaction as he sprawled on it. Hayami used that time to inspect her bow, while Chiba... probably relaxed his eyes, but it was hard to tell.

“...I know this might seems random,” Fuwa said to Mimura after a few minutes, “but I can never find the appropriate time to ask. Do you remember back in Chapter 4, when we had to find the fake? -Chapter 4? -The Ruins of Betrayal. You know how in the first trial we had to prove we were the true ones with our bugs? I was thinking, how did you do with your own bug? -That’s an excellent question.” Hayami admitted, as if slightly surprised by Fuwa. “I didn’t pay attention back then, but some bugs are harder to prove than others, aren’t they. Well, for those who did it the normal way.” She glared at Okajima. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, it would have been hard for Nakamura to prove she wasn’t a fake without my nose, right? -I’m sure I would have done without.” Nakamura replied unhappily. “Though I do wonder for Fuwa too, now, that kind of bug must be easy to fake. -Oh, Korosensei didn’t make me prove my bug,” Fuwa explained. “He asked me a trivia question that only I could reply. -Hm? -’Rank Hunter x Hunter, Berserk, X/1999 and Noragami by how much hiatus years they had in total.’ -Right,” agreed Okajima, “that’s not a question someone besides you can answer on the top of their head. What’s the answer?” Fuwa emitted a soft laugh. She then began to sob. “Ah, Okajima made her cry.” Hayami noted. “That was a jerk move, Okajima.” Nakamura looked at him with an angry look. “How was I supposed to know she would cry about it?! -It’s alright,” Fuwa replied while drying her tears in an handkerchief. “Most of them came back, so I will probably get to see the end of at least one of them... probably... -...Yeah, I don’t think anyone could have faked being Fuwa with this.” Sugaya commented before turning his head to Mimura. “What about you, then? -Well, Korosensei didn’t go as far as trivia... But he did ask me about my bug. ‘With your bug, what would happen if you encountered an undead monster?’ -What? That’s weird.” Nakamura immediately pondered about it. “Undead aren’t really guarding anything, and they’re definitely not all boss monsters. Would that depend on whether they were human before? But our skills definitely register them as a monster... -They’re a special kind, though.” Chiba replied. “Undead and ghost type monsters doesn’t obey to Korosensei who’s supposed to be their king, and they will attack any live monster they find, too.” They all remembered asking their teacher about a cemetery dungeon. ‘Don’t go in there, I won’t be able to help you! And it’s not that I’m scared of ghosts or anything, they just don’t obey me, I’m not scared of them!’ “...How did you even answer, by the way? We never had to fight or met undead. -Right, it’s a bit complicated.” Mimura bit his lip, uncertain whether he should explain. “Something weird happened while I was scouting at the start of the year...”

He was so screwed. Mimura should have known not to rely on his bug that much. His teachers the precedent years said it, too. The humanoid monster in front of him definitely was watching him weirdly, and he was all alone to fight. “You...” The creature spoke while approaching, raising his arm. Mimura closed his eyes, expecting to be hit. But, what came was a gentle tap on the shoulder. “It’s dangerous for smiling mushrooms to wander alone, I heard adventurers were raiding the dungeon. Go find back your group, okay?"

“So what you’re saying is... -Right. Apparently, monsters confuse me with one of them.” Mimura’s bug: When alone, monsters who meet him don’t start a fight (doesn’t work on boss or guardian-type monsters) mistake him for a smiling mushroom.

“...That makes a lot of sense, actually.” Nakamura admitted. “Right,” Fuwa continued, “the ones that actually attacked you so far are those who would attack any monster, right? The guardians or mimics. And a boss would surely be pissed off to see a low-level monster in his quarters... I guess undead monsters would attack you too. -Plus,” Okajima added, “you do kind of look like a mushroom. -I do not! -You do,” the others actually agreed. “...You will pay for this. -If it can reassure you,” Chiba tried to comfort him, “you all look like monsters to me. Well, targets. Sometimes in battle I’m not sure where to shoot. -That’s the least reassuring thing ever!! -So that’s why I felt the arrows were coming kinda close to me sometimes.” Okajima looked uneasy at that idea. “No, that was me.” Hayami admitted. “Don’t worry, as long as I don’t see you as an enemy they won’t actually touch you. -...I feel really worried, suddenly. -At least you’re not the one that’s registered as a monster.” Mimura complained. “If at least it was a cinema dragon... -Right, what is Okajima’s bug, anyways?” Nakamura casually asked. “Whenever someone hit me, there’s a 50% chance I get charmed instead.” Okajima replied in the same tone. Half the table suddenly froze at the reveal. All this time, all the attacks they did toward Okajima...?! “It only works on humanoid monsters though.” Sugaya specified. “Wait, don’t-” Too late. Nakamura already was trying to strange the boy. “Don’t you ever dare to make that joke again! -Please don’t hurt Okajima,” Mimura ordered nicely, “we still need him for battles. -Alright, but once we’re out of the dungeon he’s toast. -I feel so loved right now.” Okajima’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. “But right. It only work on humanoid, female monsters. And only if their Coolness level is above mine. -Pretty much all of them, then. -Jerk. Anyways, that’s why I wanted the ring, not some shameful reason like you all seems to think. I mean, not just for that.” The boy showed the item for emphasis, then removed his right hand glove. “Finally I won’t be a joke character anymore...” Yet, something weird happened when Okajima put the ring. A strange sort of dark feeling. Everyone else around the table felt uncomfortable looking at the guy. As if... “Well, how do I look? Cooler? -...Say, Okajima.” Nakamura asked quietly. “Can you remove the ring? -Why, you’re jealous now? Well, as long as you give it back I’m willing to- Wait, I can’t remove it! -...So it was cursed after all. -Wait, so that mean- -Yeah, your Coolness stat is currently at 0.” That was the most common effect of cursed equipment, besides being unremovable: it drained all points from a specific stat of the wearer. “Ah, I get it.” Fuwa whispered. “What is it?” Sugaya asked, intrigued. “Okajima’s bug is that whenever someone write about him, they feel the need to turn him into a bad joke. -Hmm, sounds about right.”

[flyswhumpcenter]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me I give myself self-indulgent requests according to this marvelous card!

I didn’t expect to write for Arc-V this soon again but 1. it’s been really fun 2. Shun is my new victim it’s official 3. it actually dawned on me with, finally, a solution to this prompt that has bothered me for a while.

It’s also way longer than I expected it to be. Like, holy shit, I think it’s the longest fic I’ve written fot BTHB yet? I guess sibling love really motivates me, because that’s all this fic is about: siblings protecting each other.

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Birds of a Feather, Fall Together

Summary: In the ruins of Heartland City are Ruri, her brother, and the man who has taken her brother hostage. And it's all up to Ruri, who was on the search for a sibling that was very much late to come back to their camp, to solve the issue of what she'll need to sacrifice to the hands of the enemy: her companions, her brother, or herself. Shun, however, couldn't disagree more with these options.

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V Relationships: Ruri & Shun (siblings, platonic)

Wordcount: 4.5K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

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Throughout the deserted ruins of what once was the colourful and lively Heartland City, now shadow of what it had once been drowning in its own silence, resonated panicked footsteps and a seeking voice. A lone girl only armed with a disk attached to her arm was in search of someone, strolling through the debris, walking over shattered glass, her pink eyes focused on not getting caught by anyone, not to get spotted by malevolent eyes.

What was left of the once peaceful streets was devoid of anyone, resident or invader, good or bad (albeit the concept was somewhat outdated, she had found out). The quietness was eerie to her, but she pressed on, hearing only her breathing, the sound of her brave but cautious footsteps, and her surroundings for any possible enemy. There was no sense of security to be had, only a sense of danger trying to sneak up on her.

 Ruri had lived through the Invasion long enough to know what she needed to be careful about, what she wouldn’t be forgiven for would she commit it. Obelisk Force soldiers could be everywhere, at any time, to enjoy carding her by ganging up on her and summoning a terrible beast to remind herself of the trauma of the war her people hadn’t asked for. Trusting people was essential but shouldn’t have been abused: survival required to work together, but to also think for oneself.

To be honest, Ruri hated having to be selfish about something as basic as being human; but that was what her brother had taught her so she could make it out of the Invasion alive, or at least survive long enough to see things getting better, acting through one duel at a time.

 She regretted having gone to search on her own. At least, being with someone else like Sayaka or Allen would have given her a sense of security, even if that sentiment was fake or artificial. However, she had felt like they’d need to be as stealthy as possible, in a time where the enemy could be everywhere and attack at any time with a force a thousand times stronger than they could have ever hoped to get. But she was a tough girl, she could do that on her own without endangering anyone other than her; so she shook her head and tried to stop her shivers, to ignore the cold wind blowing through her hair and the cold sweats going down her back.

 She had one objective, only one: finding her brother again. He had gone to recover resources for the camp a couple of hours before yet had been way too late coming back for it not to be suspicious. At best, he had gotten into troubles with the weight of the resources and was on his way to get backup. At worse, he’d be… He’d have left them without any hope to return. With the deepest desire not to see her beloved sibling carded and discarded on the floor next to some debris or to see him in any distorted shape, Ruri pressed on, fearful steps getting increasingly more determined, fasting the pace as long as nobody showed up in her fields of view or hearing.

 The streets had become strangers to her before growing familiar again: it was how humans were getting used to misery, violence and hiding in a hole not to be imprisoned, tortured or meeting their end in cruel, blood-tainted hands. In this world where the strongest ruled, she couldn’t have any high hope for her brother to be fine when she’d eventually find him, if she was going to find him at all. Yet, she found herself praying, perhaps uselessly, that he was going to be in one piece and okay by the time they’d reunite. She needed to bring him back to the base, if just for his own safety.

Truly, it was in those moments that Ruri would have appreciated that Shun was less of a natural loner, “I’m going to protect everyone by putting myself on the line” type of person. At least, they’d have convinced him not to look for stuff on his own.

 Suspicious noises picked Ruri’s attention, then interest. Her curiosity had never let her down, even since the Invasion had taken place. After spending a dozen or so of minutes hanging around the desolated ruins of Heartland in complete silence aside from her shoes crunching shattered glass and rummaging through stone, she was bound to be intrigued by suddenly hearing any human noise. Making sure to be stealthy, she glided along the walls, avoided all possible noise from stepping on potential sources of betrayal, and eventually arrived in the spot where the noise came from.

And then she almost screamed.

 Squinting her eyes from behind the wall, the first thing that bestowed Ruri’s eyes was the unforgettable image of an Obelisk Force soldier surrounded by what looked like two gallons of water and with a smashed Duel Disk attached to his wrist, locking her brother in his arms, the blade of a knife on the latter’s throat, close enough from where she was for her to think he was about to be throttled on the spot. Distant yells reached her ears, “stop moving around, brat”, “if you don’t calm down, I won’t hesitate”. No offer to surrender. Her brother’s feet desperately trying to get out of there until the knife was placed right under his chin.

Before she knew it, Ruri had sidestepped to see more, to guess if she should run away and risk getting spotted to get some help or if she could deal with it on her own and free Shun from the lock on his neck. There was no time to go get aid from Kaito or Yuto, if they were back from their mission that was: her brother was about to have his throat slashed if someone didn’t do anything.

 When Ruri finally looked back at the scene, the soldier was looking right into her eyes, having obviously spotted her. Gulping, she approached, careful of the hand holding the knife, making sure to look strong or even menacing as she did so. She was going to save her brother from the imminent danger, after all she had to be strong, in these dire times, and she wouldn’t hesitate to duel the man who had dared lie a hand on her brother.

Oh, wait. His disk had been smashed, presumably by Shun himself. She’d have to settle that in other ways, something not uncommon to her.

 “Stop in your tracks!”

The yell of the soldier made her do just as he ordered, if not just by surprise. Despite her absolute want to save her sibling, Ruri had to admit she was at a disadvantage: no real weapon aside from a Duel Disk that’d take too long to use compared to the time required to slash someone’s body with a blade of any sort and no way to pressure the man into surrendering his hostage.

 “Ruri!” Shun’s screaming, yet audibly strained, voice made itself heard against the cold of the blade. “Ruri, get out of here, go away, right now!”

“But, brother! I can’t give up on you like that!”

Her response didn’t seem to please him in the slightest, as he was about to respond to her with an enforced frown on his face, but the knife got even closer to his throat.

“If you don’t fuckin’ shut it, I’m killing you on the spot.”

 Her brother grudgingly accepted to stay quiet, as she could see from the frown still present yet his voice disappearing entirely from the air. This was messed up and, if she wasn’t trying to save one of the people dearest to her, she’d have perhaps shed a tear; but this was, as Shun would have said himself, a battlefield where crying didn’t matter and didn’t improve things, where it was to kill or be killed. A reality she clearly hated, a reality that she had to face every day, a reality that was threatening them both yet again.

The fire inside of her, however, didn’t stop burning. She felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through her body, making her limbs tense up and her mind get sharper, like the predator about to jump on its victim, yet she wasn’t the predator there: she was more like the prey waiting for its hunter to go away. If she had to defy odds to get her brother back, she would: Resistance members stuck together and, like two birds of the same feathers, siblings helped each other out. It was her time to help Shun out of a dangerous situation.

 “Ruri, huh…” The soldier mused to himself for a moment, before a smile creeped on his face. “So you two know each other, right?”

She didn’t respond. That was an obvious trap and she wouldn’t step in it.

“Oh well. What about we make a little deal, you and I?”

That was already more interesting and less one-sided, but she had to remain focused and suspicious. You could never trust the Obelisk Force, Shun and Yuto had reminded them all numerous times before, and she had seen that from her own two eyes. There was no backing down, but there was also no suspension of disbelief.

“You give out the location of your precious, fellow members, and he shall be free. What about that?”

 Shun angered right in front of her, pupils retracting and fists balling up. His arms were oddly free, but a slash of a knife could be quicker than any punch or kick.

“Don’t listen to that offer, it’s a scam! Protec-”

He was interrupted by a cut on his right cheek, his frown deepening with a little grunt, to which she had to keep in a yelp of horror.

“I told you to shut the fuck up, didn’t I?! Next time you open it up, it’s your throat I’m gonna cut!”

 Her brother went back to being silent, red trickling down his face and to his neck in thin flows. Ruri was left wondering what to do: giving their position was obviously a no-go, she would have never betrayed her companions for anything, but what else could she do that wouldn’t risk her life or his? If she approached even further, Shun could die a moment later. She had no other bargaining chip than what she couldn’t give up for anything. Even her moral horizon, her last resort, was doomed to fail: activating the carding function on her disk would also card Shun in the process, making the entire ordeal utterly pointless, if not counterproductive, and she’d lose someone close to her yet again. There was no way out of this…

 “Wait, miss.”

This got Ruri’s attention back to the soldier, rather than her own thoughts and a plan of action she couldn’t find.

“What about I give you another proposition?”

“What is it, this time? I won’t ever give up on my comrades.”

She tensed up without fully realizing it, anxiety getting to her to the point of making her nauseous and dizzy, even though she had no time to breathe when such a climax had been reached.

“You come with me, and I let him go.”

 Ruri couldn’t know what the soldier had in mind when proposing that deal to her. Did she hold any special value, more than Shun did? Was this a trap all over again? It could have very well been such. She had to exert the utmost caution as she went through with the deal, thinking it over and over. Was she ready to bet for her brother to bail her out of there once he’d be freed? Was she ready to trust a pure stranger, a dangerous one of that, with such a thing?

As the answer kept getting more and more uncertain in her mind, she noticed Shun talk to her through lip movements, something they had learnt together to communicate more easily between themselves. “Don’t you dare do that,” he told her with cold irises and blood still trickling from the fresh cut. He didn’t wince, didn’t let the sting show, just continued speaking to her in a silent voice, “don’t you dare, Ruri”.

 “You’re sure you’ll really let him go?”

“What more do you need as a proof?”

She made a step forward, judging his reaction, hoping she was jeopardizing the already-tense situation. The soldier, much to her surprise, actually took the blade further from Shun’s neck, but that wasn’t without the latter reacting with far less appreciation, continuing with the silent scolds, “don’t do that, Ruri, don’t do that”. She couldn’t let her lips move, otherwise she’d betray her cover and ruin her attempts. This was her, no, their only chance. She couldn’t mess it up.

“So, you’ve decided? You against him?”

She didn’t respond, attempting not to show the slightest indication as to the contents of her hand, yet still got close enough to him to be in range to do something. Responding would betray either her true intentions or her brother; she simply couldn’t take that risk. She was already bluffing as is, having to bear her heart threatening to pulverise her ribcage from the inside and the slight wave of nausea covering the insides of her throat. There was no need to put everything at risk for what could be nothing.

 But she had forgotten Shun had a mind on his own, a mind that was definitely bent on protecting others and acting on his own.

 Events and twists unfolded at a speed so intense that she was barely able to keep up. Her brother grabbed the soldier’s armed wrist with his own hand, trying to make him discard it on the floor by violently shaking it, somewhat arriving to accomplish that until, before both sibling could realize that was happening, someone had been stabbed, blood pouring from an abdominal wound. Due to the similar size of the two men in front of her, she was unable to guess whose blood it was, who had been injured; but things were happening much too quickly for her to guess that with exactitude. Instead, the soldier kicked her brother in the stomach, making him drop to his knees, the knife falling onto the ground with a droplet of red jumping as it did so, splatters on the dirty ground, and a flash of light blinded her.

 When her eyes opened again, the only things left for her to see were the discarded knife and her brother, exhaling a shuddering breath, on his knees but almost falling from that poor balance, a hand on the ground, and a card right next to him.

 Feeling a terror rising that she didn’t quite understand, Ruri rushed to her brother’s side, kneeling right next to him. The card was what she had thought it to be: Shun had carded someone, presumably in self-defence. Considering how strong he was in hand-to-hand combat, her fear grew wider, until she noticed a hand on his left side, clutching his coat, crimson dripping between his fingers. Pearls of sweats were appearing on his face, his breath seeming even more fragile as heard from up-close.

 “B-brother, you’re bleeding…!” she exhaled, half in a cry and half in a whisper. “Let me check it…”

“I’ll… I’ll be fine, Ruri. Let’s head back to the base…”

“You got stabbed, didn’t you?! You’re not fine, Shun, let me check your injury at least!”

He put his hand away from the wound, revealing a dark red, almost maroon, stain quickly expanding.

“Oh my, it’s terrible… We need to bring you back as soon as possible to the camp…”

He rose to his feet before she did, but he quickly started swaying on his, prompting her to prop his arm on her shoulders. She had seen him do it many times for Yuto and the opposite way around, she could completely manage this. Her brother had always been a featherweight, a glass cannon of sorts: she tried to make sure he didn’t get in too rough of a shape, but it was getting exponentially harder with time going and especially as the Invasion was taking place. Yet, she’d do her possible, all that she could, and that started with bringing him back to their base.

 Then she remembered something important.

“Wait, Shun.”

“What is it?”

He attempted to have a sharp tone, but it only came off as snappy.

“It’d be better if we stopped the bleeding… Could you sit down for a minute? I’m going to apply pressure on the wound.”

 He gave her a weird look, skewed even, before giving in and sitting down on a patch of debris. Ruri had taken some basic first-response lessons back before the city had been destroyed, and only improved on them afterwards, making her hands move almost on their own: she opened her brother’s coat, removed a piece of fabric she had around her waist, and applied pressure on it with all the force she could gather in her arms. Would she not have had an iron determination to save him, she’d have let herself tremble. However, in times where she was needed, she couldn’t falter, so she pressed on.

Unfortunately, Ruri had to admit something else: the wound was deep and, as such, bleeding profusely. She couldn’t stop what she now knew to be a haemorrhage, even if with her best efforts she had slowed down the flow, getting herself drenched in red.

“Can you please hold it on there for me, brother…? I wish I could do more, but that’ll have to do for now. Let’s go, okay?”

Without a vocal reply, he did as she had told him to: he put his hand over the piece of fabric, itself on the wound, and they got up, his arm still on her shoulders, walking slowly but surely towards the base.

 Because she was aware of how dimmed down Shun’s reflexes had to have been by this point, trying not to count by herself the volume of blood he had already lost, Ruri had to be sharper than ever. Her ears were focused on the potential unusual sounds that could have greeted them, her eyes were focused on her brother’s vitals, her touch felt feverish under the weight of having to care for the two of them. The streets were deserted, but that was far from meaning they were safe for anyone: an Obelisk Force soldier could have found his colleague carded and have been on the hunt for them. She had to make sure they weren’t attacked and, if they were, that they could defend themselves and get out of there.

 To be fair, she didn’t exactly remember the time she had spent walking from their base to the spot where she had found Shun taken hostage. She’d have estimated it to be around a dozen of minutes, perhaps less, perhaps more. There hardly was a way to know what time it was when exploring the wastelands, she hadn’t even thought of checking if she could check what time it was at any point.

That, sadly, didn’t prevent her from having this atrocious feeling of being slow. Their walking speed was usual fast because they were used to the ruins, but with his condition at that moment, she could have only expected to slogging through the streets. Yet, the slower they got, the harder it was for him to push himself on his two feet despite not having both her arms as support, the more anxious she got: would they make it to somewhere safe in time? They were both struggling, silent as tombs, because nobody spoke in the wastelands.

 The moment her eyes spotted a familiar camp, Ruri felt like she could have jumped out of joy. They had made it there and, judging by the fact Shun could still support himself and walk, they’d make it in time. He’d, most likely, still be alive tomorrow: but things weren’t set in stone yet. As such, she tried picking up the pace, but she kept hearing pained grunts and pants from him, sweat blistering on his face, his cut having finally stop bleeding, breathing heavily. She had no time to lose: she needed to make it to their camp as soon as possible.

Relief washed over her again when other members of the Resistance noticed them arriving and took things into their hands, but not before she almost fell, brought down by the collapse of her barely conscious brother. Relief and concern fought for dominance over her mind: on one hand, help was arriving with men and their gurney approaching them quickly, but on the other, Shun seemed miserable and on the brink of death. It could have gone either way, at that point, so she just helped them get him on the gurney and watched them run to the medic’s tent, slowly trailing behind them.

 Ruri believed herself to be someone with patience, usually and most of the time. She was hard to truly anger, albeit she was prone to being upset for someone else. The Invasion had made her a bit more apathic than before, but she remained more optimistic than most of the camp: they could see the end of the dark times if they stuck together.

While she was a firm believer of that and the virtue of being patient, she also had a sense of urgency running through her Kurosaki blood, the one she shared with her brother. Because of it, she wanted to stampede through time and not have to wait for any verdict, for any piece of news concerning his condition, if it was bettering or worsening, if he was even going to see the light of the dark days again. She couldn’t stand to lose him, after having lost most of the people she knew to Fusion’s forces. He had to make it out of there alive, for himself, for Yuto, for the others, for her.

 She started trying to find different ways to pass time. She entered and exited the tent, paced outside, observed the people around and tried to guess what they were doing with their days, went through her deck, shuffled it, looked through it again to see if she had missed details on the illustrations, then put it back into her disk before going back to pacing outside the tent. They were few enough for information to communicate quickly: most people walking past her gave her sympathetic looks, the kind you’d give to the grieving.

Exhausted by the fears nabbing at her mind, her clothes now tainted with patches of maroons and browns, she eventually resorted to sitting in the part of tent akin to the waiting room of a hospital. It wasn’t comfortable to sit on the ground or a makeshift chair as long, slow minutes passed by, people going and out, yet no feedback on her brother ever came up. In her head started flashing horrific scenarios of how he had been dead on arrival and they just didn’t know how to tell her so without having her break down in tears and drown in her own grief, listing all the reasons she could think of for his early demise. Blood loss, internal haemorrhage, shock, sceptic shock, organ failure, critical medical error, lack of supplies leading to the impossibility to treat the case.

Perhaps she had been too late. Perhaps she had been too slow and, because of her, he was dead. Maybe that, if she had given herself up to the soldier, he’d have been fine and alive… Maybe that’d have given him enough time and distraction to disarm the soldier and they’d have run far away from there, perhaps using one of Raidraptors to escape the vicinity. No, instead, she had been a dumb girl and had let him get stabbed because she hadn’t been able to stop him from going through with a dangerous and desperate plan! She only had herself to blame, and yet she could never apologize to him, and it made all matters worse, and…

 Ruri?

A gentle voice called out her name, making her snap back to reality. In her daze, she didn’t really recognize who it was, but it was a woman in her twenties or thirties, dressed in white, splatters of red covering her. She had a soft smile on her face, soft eyes looking into hers, who must have been red from all the crying she had done while waiting.

“Y-yes?” She rose on her feet, feeling a vertigo settle for a great total of three seconds. “D-do you have anything on my brother’s whereabouts?!”

“I won’t lie to you, Ruri, he was in a rough shape when he arrived there. He had already lost a lot of blood and was slowly slipping into shock,” (the knot in her throat kept strengthening: that was it, he was dead), “but I’m happy to tell you that Shun’s pulled through it.”

Tears formed in her eyes again, untamed, a whole other kind of tears that didn’t make her eyes sting.

“It’s going to take a while for him to fully recover, but he’s going to be fine, eventually.”

“C-can I see him now?”

Another smile.

“Of course. If you may follow me.”

 The medic’s tent was one of the only large ones of the camp, mostly because it had been sewn together from other tents that had been rendered unusable by assaults and the weather. Yet, it still remained somewhat small, which made it so the walk to wherever her brother was now felt short and to-the-point. To be fair, she didn’t care about what it looked like, as long as it felt as safe as possible and as long as she could see him alive and breathing… It’d be fine, all fine.

No bed nor IV to be seen in the makeshift recovery room, but calm breathing. The woman whose name she still couldn’t remember (the knot in her throat and the emotion, perhaps) had told her to warn her in case something was wrong before leaving her alone in the little space now dedicated to her sibling.

 Sitting beside the sleeping-bag-turned-impromptu-hospital-bed, Ruri was observing her brother with little fear and a foreign kind of comfort in her stomach, replacing the pit and the burning acid having churned inside for what had felt like hours. Compared to their previous endeavour, he looked peaceful, as if he had been merely asleep, even if the cloth bandage on his cheek said otherwise, although the unnatural paleness of his face still stung her to see. It couldn’t be avoided until he’d have recovered, she supposed, so she simply held one of his hand and silently rejoiced: they’d see another day together and, one day, journey to the end of the night to see the light of day and healing.

[kickingupdust]

Virtual Diary Entry #6

Virtual Diary Entry #6 

July 23, 2022 10:26 PM

Is monogamy a scam? Have I been living a lie, thinking that one person could love and devote themselves to me? Is love and devotion even what I seek? Love maybe, minus the devotion. Well, maybe the devotion? I don’t know, is it too much to ask that someone devote themselves to me? 

For them to devote themselves to me, yes I do think it's too much to ask, as I am ever changing and growing and molding myself into something and someone else entirely. To devote themselves to anyone else, they may be granted some security and stability. To devote themselves to me, they’d be devoting themselves to a lifetime of variability and instability and chance.

Look at me, I’m so caught up trying to make excuses for why I don’t deserve love. Really, there’s no concrete answer. 

The bottom line is that I do deserve love, and I try to be accepting of it, but I still have a hard time shaking the feeling that I don’t deserve it. 

Today when I was just arriving at the creek and began walking down the small hill that leads to the creek’s bank, two men stopped and started talking to me and C. C chatted back and they tried to understand his toddler-speak, but I was just trying to get away. Desperately trying to get away. Like they were going to hurt me. But they definitely were not, and I knew that, but I still could not be polite to them.I wanted to be, so badly.  I was trying to speak and barely anything was coming out. And what was coming out was not nearly enough to be heard by human ears. They told us to really try to have a good time, for real, they meant it. I saw the same two guys as I was sitting in my car about to leave. They threw me some big smiles and hand signals, waved, told me to have a good day. They meant it. 

I don’t know why it makes me cry. The kindness of a stranger, I feel like sometimes a person can just tell when someone needs to hear something like that. I’m glad that I came across two of those people today. I needed to hear something like that.  

It sucks to think that there’s more to come. But honestly it’s kind of amazing that I’ll survive it. I don’t want to speak too soon though. I may never tell what the future holds. 

I desire to rebuild my relationship with the universe and their energies. I have been feeling something awaken inside me and have done little to nothing to aid it in its waking. 

Whatever it is, it’s fucking serious this time. I say good, I welcome whatever it is, whatever fire may strike itself inside me. Let it burn out. And let a new brighter me be born from the ashes. 

I am now going to get very high and try to watch tv. We’ll see how it goes. 

 Well I did the smoking part, I’m not so sure the high part happened. Maybe a little? I smoke too much. Anyhow, I am not really interested in watching TV right now, so I am not going to subject myself to it. I think I am going to read Sherlock Holmes instead. That��d be a much better use of my time. Actually, I think I’ll just go to sleep. 

Any closing thoughts, me? Or shall we just leave shit off on the most random note possible, like usual? Yeah probably so. 

I need to be better disciplined with brushing my teeth. I’ve gotten myself disciplined on skincare & body care finally, now onto oral care. Getting/finding a waterpik charger (I misplaced mine) would greatly incentivize me to be more consistent with my oral hygiene. 

Anyway, goodnight.

[docboots]

On Working w/ a Disability

     Ever since I was diagnosed with my disorder, I kept being assured of a net should it prove too difficult for me to make it in the professional word there was a department for this. In social security, there was a magical division made to assist those born with disorders that wrecked their bodies like me. I was too proud at the time. I might have been taking things my own way, at my own pace... But I was certain I could make it out there.

     Degree after degree I found the agony difficult to focus and my attendance was terrible. I tried a number of things: Culinary Arts, Engineering, Computer Science, and Graphic Design while studying everything and anything that caught my interest. My hunger for knowledge did not change my blood. It just seemed to get worse with age, and each attempt at a new degree just lead to a worse experience. The stress of college made it so my body was swelling at random. Concerned teachers constantly asking what is wrong, and days I couldn’t properly do my work. Days I couldn’t show up at all. That is the good thing about school, you can take your work home without having to barter or prove you are trustworthy. You fail or you don’t. School has never been easy with ADHD, but adding HAE on it? I am sad to admit I had to give up. Only to try again.. And again.

     Similar can be said about the workplace, but they are not as accepting of attendance problems. If I didn’t screw things up by being unable to make it to my first day because the stress and excitement of the application and interview process made it so, wouldn’t you know it, first day on the job my gastrointestinal system is swollen and I am left bent over a toilet while my stomach and esophagus work together in teaching me how to best imitate a banshee; I would eventually end up swelling too much. Too many sick days, not able to do the job, and once blaming me because apparently, I didn’t stress enough how often it would happen. Like I can schedule when I am going to have a flare up from a disorder that actively likes to defy my theories on it.

     The main difference with the workplace is how crooked managers are. Be it the place that, while I was 17 or so and in school mind you, was forced to work 60 hour weeks and was consistently only paid for 30 hours. Then strung along saying the next check would have what was missed, only for that one ALSO to be ripping me off 30 hours PLUSX the previous 30 hours. I was a young teenager though. NO one took me seriously. Even as I was ripped off. This wasn't the first time either. It was yelling at the void. Apparently, the world can scam me all it wants. Law doesn't cover that.

     Even had a lovely time involving Voc Rehab. If you don't know who they are then let me tell you. In Reno, at least, VOc Rehab is another fairytale given to up and coming disabled youngsters claiming it will help us with our problems! If by that they mean to have us talk to a person who acts like he is helping but really just pushing you to use their job website. Which is like any other job website. I am familiar with them. This does nothing to assist in the disabled. I completely stopped humoring them after my caseworker asked 'Well dfo you want to work or do you want to be disabled?' Without giving me any alternatives. He'd suggest jobs rarely, but given I kept repeating I needed something low on stress or help dealing with stress then being recommended something horrifically stressful or taxing (Read flair ups). I assume I was difficult for him. How sad.

     A particularly damning case involved a company that had a disability waiver. From the moment I spoke to someone, I was very clear about my disorder and what I needed. Namely, that occasionally I would need, not want, NEED a goddamn cane. I am guessing that because I was 25 they thought I wanted to look like a pimp or something and not because I NEEDED IT TO STAND, they took my stipulations with a grain of salt. Fast forward a mind-numbing two months that can be summarized as ‘You seem to work fast, you must be able to work fast all the time! Can’t be compensating for that blood disease you won’t shut up about, not unload that truck even if there are 5 other jobs we acted like you would be getting and aren’t a danger to your health.’ Everything else swells but my leg or foot. The day finally arrives, and every day I have asked my manager about my cane only to be told he’ll find out and tell me later. Repeat 40 times.

     I limp my butt in with a cane, and immediately my manager is disappointed because he wanted me unloading trucks again. The rage begins to bubble, but as with every day, I zip it up like a good work slave unconcerned with my own well being. They want us all to do group exercises as they do every morning. Given I am operating on one good leg and one that is living its dream of being one solid bone, I have to improvise. Luckily my knee was swollen in a way it was bent and I can balance on one knee. I could have probably just stood back, but if there is anything I learned it is that you have to act like you can run like every other four-legged horse in this rigged race to even compete. Even if you have one.

     I work for an hour and a half. I am a hint slowed down, but I can manage. I need the money. The manager comes up and meekly says I am not allowed the cane. Something he could have easily found out in the two months I had worked there since. Given I have to climb up, get onto a tiny catwalk, and climb down a ladder to get to this station I am not at all pleased. So I shrug it off and go home mad as ever but holding it in. As I had the past few months.

     The very next day, my knee is not at ALL better. If anything it is worse. I had to call out a lot that month so I forced myself to go into work believing if I just go at my own pace I’ll be fine. I’d worked like the devil otherwise. It is pure agony and feels like my knee cap is going to explode out of my leg with every minute twitch while my other is growing tired from constantly balancing on that alone, but I manage. Until I go to the bathroom to put water on my face and pep talk myself into not screaming bloody murder at the throbbing in my leg.

    I waddle myself towards my station only for the manager-who-shall-still-not-be-named-for-legal-purposes to come up to me with this smile on his face. This smile a person like me has begun to associate with bullshit. The smell a person gets when they smell a fine smelling flower. Only more pompous, cause it is from a whiff of the bullshit they have strewn together. Since for some reason even after I had told him at LENGTH about this issue.. He starts rolling his hands up in an ‘up up’ motion. Saying I should pick things up a bit. As I am slowly limping back to my station with each step causing more and more pain because I was not allowed. Which he would know as he was the one that kicked me out for the cane.

    I like to believe myself a reasonable, patient man. There is a point that the pounding of your own enraged blood through your ears starts to sound like war drums. I have been put through many horrors. Through physical torment and emotional belittling. I still was not prepared for the humiliation of my manager coming up to me on the factory floor and telling my crippled ass to pick it up. To go faster. I exploded.

    I am not at all a violent man. Not even at my most enraged. I am a man of many words though, and I have been taught by a lunatic how one’s tone can be used as a weapon. Two months of hatred (admittedly further fueled by some issues I was having outside the workplace and bloodline) exploded out in a rabid rant. If the fucker was going to humiliate me, I was going to humiliate him by lecturing him like the child he was. Loudly. It might have been immature, but every bit of relief was worth it. I stormed out and was told by a friend who worked at a security guard that my picture had been put in the security room. I was apparently seen as a threat. As the worst thing I did was yell at him and call him a child.. OR something (I mildly blacked out until I stopped talking) but I never threatened and never made it seem like I was going to hurt him.

      I was mad. I was in agony and it was only being made worse by the man I was yelling at. Yet they call us millennials sensitive little flowers. This man was in his 40s if not 50s. Least I didn’t end up making this one cry. I will not apologize for it though. If you are going to do that to someone disabled and actively having a flare up, you deserve your ear chewed off. The bit of power that being a manager of a FedEx Express gives you does not make you exempt from that.

     To top it off, I call HR. I talked to the congressman...'s assistant. (Who I had become quite familiar with after my attempts to get the money from the school (Morrison) I went to that went bankrupt and sent me my final loan stipend which bounced. As well about the check they sent me to fix the bounced on. Which also bounced. The fees all this accumulated from overdrafts and the like mean a particular university owes me NOT ONLY my god damn transcript but quite a bit of money as well. ) Shrugged their shoulders. Local HR shrugged their shoulders. General HR had me give a list of demands to work there (Have a cane) which was just an elaborate way for them to shrug their shoulders in a new way and send me a paper with my demands typed out with NO written in bold red letters. I thought I was the dramatic one in this situation. So, all that came from that was a headache.

     So after a few more attempts at getting an ‘honest’ living or trying to get a diploma for a job that isn’t buried under needless stress, I gave in. I made my way down to the Social Security office. So that should be the end of this part of my story, right? I stood in line, filled out my paperwork, they saw my struggles and my inability to get a job proven right?

Heh.

[lulumania]

Pearls

Summary: OKAY SO THIS IS GONNA BE MY FIRST STORY ON THIS TUMBLR SO MY MIND IS FREAKING OUT! I HOPE U GUYS LIKE IT AND ALSO ITS ORIGINAL!! Word count: 6556 Pearls. When you first see pearls, what do you think of? Do you marvel at the silky color or think of a full moon in orbit? Innocent and pure are two words that come to the mind of a jeweler. For those who know the truth, innocent and pure never enter their minds when they stare at this powerful jewel. The words that should be going into your mind, are horrific and unsettling. It all makes sense in the end. It was June 3rd, 2001, and I, 19 year-old Samantha Baker, was vacationing in Saudi Arabia with some college friends. Sadly, we weren’t visiting to see the many sites the country had to offer, but instead just staying for a few days till we finally could go to the Red Sea. The Red Sea is located between Saudi Arabia and Sudan and is composed of saltwater. Since the Red Sea was mostly famous for it’s diving experience, I decided to put my marine knowledge to the task. I hired a guide online and was set to meet them in two days. Our airplane landed in Jeddah, a small city near the docks. Being college students, we didn’t have much money, so we booked two rooms at a small, gloomy inn with peeling wallpaper, broken windows, and overflowing trash cans. We soon found out our rooms were located beside the trash cans and tried to bribe the owner into getting us new rooms. “Sorry. Only two rooms available. No refund.”, says the small, portly man across the counter with a smile that has almost no teeth. Mary all of a sudden yells at the man, cursing him and his overpriced rooms. He threatens to call the cops so we drag Mary back to our room. This riles her up even more. The room we paid $200 for contains two shabby and sheet-stained twin beds, a hot plate in the corner, two plastic chairs in another corner and the bathroom shower only sprays out cold water. The worst part is the floor and smell. The floor is covered in stepped on roaches, spilled drinks and in a corner something that looks similar to dog droppings. The smell is something between a dead racoon, yes I know how that smells, a lot of diapers, and a wet dog. As some would say, utterly disgusting. But we are not some people, so instead we deal with it by getting some nose plugs. “Someone pick up the bloody phone!”, yells Stuart from across the rooms, hunched across a laptop, probably writing to his mother about these horrid conditions he has to live in. I hadn’t even noticed my phone had been ringing. The smell must be getting to me. I grab it and walk out, hoping to get some fresh air, but instead the dump next door worsens it. “Samantha Baker here. Who’s this?”, I say as I answer the call, hoping for it to end so I can get back inside and take a nice, cold shower. “Ah Samantha, this is Larry. I’ve called you because there’s been a change of plans. Since tomorrow is going to be stormy I need you to pay a bit more for safety. About….$100?”, replies a voice so smooth and creamy, I stop myself and imagine him saying those words again. The way he rolled his r’s kinda took my breath away a bit. I didn’t imagine a sailor having this kind of a voice. “$100?! For a silly storm?!”, I suddenly yell out as I come back to my senses. $100 is way much for just a silly storm. Unless…something more dangerous is out there? Maybe the currents get too strong? “It’s not just the storm Miss Samantha. Creatures….dangerous one’s mind you…like to hunt out when it gets stormy. Sharks and m-…whales. Whales….”, say Larry, his voice now even deeper, as if he’s…afraid? If he was worrying about sharks, wouldn’t he have to cancel the diving trip and give me another date? “Mr. Larry I don’t have $100 on me. Couldn’t you just reschedule the appointment for I don’t know….in a week?”, I plead into the phone, making sure my voice quivers as if I’m about to cry. The truth is my parents are bloody rich, but they wouldn’t send me here with that much money. If I had to buy food or anything, I used their card and they would see my purchases. Pretty much stalkers if you ask me. But parents are parents. Sometimes they change, but mine never do. “You know what? Nevermind Miss Samantha, instead of paying me $100 just don’t bring your friends. Too much flesh will attract sharks and such. I’m sure you and me could make it just fine.”, replies Larry after an ominus minute, his voice in a higher pitch, like when someone is guilty of something. After a minute of thinking, I decided it was the best choice. “Deal. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the docks, okay?”, I reply but before I can say another word, Larry hangs up. What a strange man. I step back inside and prepare myself for sleep. I didn’t get to sleep until midnight due to Stuart’s typing and the blaring traffic outside. We just had to pick an inn near a highway, didn’t we? I don’t think anybody actually slept that night but me. I woke up to a bag of chips, an apple, and a bottle of water for breakfast. Mary had gone to the nearest food market and had bought food that seemed edible-like because apparently she didn’t trust food she’d never heard of before. The other’s had already gone off exploring, so just Mary and me had breakfast alone. At 9:30 I started to pack my bag with necessities for the diving trip. Larry already had my diving suit and tank and such, but I still needed my camera for pictures, my flippers, and a knife to open some clams up. Larry said there might even be pink pearls down there, which would really up my day right about now. My boyfriend, probably studying for exams, had begged me to bring some pearls back. Even though he was working to become a college teacher for neuroscience, his passion lay in jewelry. For two year now, he has collected countless shells and gems. Yet, he’s never really gotten a real genuine pearl in his collection yet. Today might be his lucky day, if the weather holds up. By 10:25 I was safely dropped off at the docks, even though it had taken 10 minutes for me to translate using my phone to tell the taxi driver where I needed to go. His fares were more expensive than the ordinary American taxi driver. Is everything expensive in Saudi Arabia, or is it just this town? A wild notation popped into my mind. What if my parents were playing with me? Seeing if I was a good or a bad child? But the notation was soon swept away as a young boy, 17 or 16, climbed out of a small, white boat and headed my direction. “You must be Miss Samantha?”, the boy says as he gets nearer and he shakes my hand. His hand is cold and brittle, and his hands feel firm, as if they have been worked for many years. His smile was somewhat clumsy-like, but what really caught me was his eyes. They were like any regular normal brown eyes, except that they weren’t looking at me. His eyes were moving in all directions, as if….looking for me? “Your blind..”, I whisper and I suddenly clasp my hand over my mouth before any more words spill out. I can feel my face turning slightly pink from embarrassment. Then, he started laughing. “It always get you Americans. No, I am not blind Miss Samantha, it’s called a joke.”, the boy says through his guilty laughs. His eyes then look in one direction like a normal person, as if to show that it’s fake. I feel a sudden wave of anger. I feel like strangling the bo, yet…i don’t know why. All sorts of torture enter my mind. Maybe…no…I shake these delirious thoughts out of my mind. Ever since I’ve come to Saudi Arabia, my mind has somewhat…changed. Dramatically. I don’t feel like myself. I feel…trapped. It must be the new scenery change, that’s all. Is it though….? “Are you Larry?”, I say in a calm voice, though it still manages to shake in anger. I know the answer before the man behind says it. “No. I’m Larry. That’s Michael. Sorry about him, he’s not very smart.”, replies the voice behind me. I plaster on a smile, try to ease my mind, and turn my body around, expecting a handsome, but elderly, sailor dressed in a cap and all. “Still, I’m the only person in this city that can help you with rigging.”, Michaels word’s go through my ears, but I can’t hear them. Instead, I only see the person before me. To put it in simple words, the man with the smooth voice is none other than a 65 year-old drunk who’s only talent is steering a simple wheel. The boy must do all the work. Larry is dressed in a stained white top, the stains must be beer, and in some tan shorts that reveal his hairy legs, a jungle no man can ever breach. I giggle to myself at the thought, but then stop myself. His hair is slicked back by some kind of white gel and the worst part is his mustache. That thing can hold hundreds of crumbs, that I can say. Otherwise, pretty normal I must say. “Let’s get going shall we?”, Larry says and then I realize, his voice is not smooth. “Larry’s” voice is gruff and loud, like any normal sailor’s is. That can’t be possible…unless…I’m being scammed. “I’m sorry, but are you really Larry? The thing is, the Larry on the phone had a different voice. It was more…smooth. Did something..happen to him?”, I stammer out before Larry can take another step. He hasn’t once looked me in the eyes, and I don’t trust that kind of a man. He seems frozen, as if seeming to wonder if he should lie or not. “That was Leonardo. He handles all the…paying and such. He’s a joker too. Sorry if this is all too…confusing. Well…..come on then.”, Larry whispers, yet I can barely hear him over the rush of the waves. Michael also looks away, not looking at me. Have I done something wrong? “I’m sorry, but have I offended you?”, I blurt out. People have been treating me so differently, and it makes me feel so…attacked. Michael freezes in his spot and Larry turns around, a spark in his eyes. “Sweetheart, you’re not that special.”, Larry says, and his eyes skim over my clothes. I now realize that I’m wearing designer clothes. How rude! I fluff myself like a bird in anger and follow them into the boat. I have heard that richness does make some people fear or hate you. I just don’t know why. Yes, I’m richer and more successful than you, but that doesn’t give you a reason to hate me. Does it….? The boat starts and Michael leads me to a small room where I can change. The floor is covered in fish guts and the occasional baby squid. The suit is extremely tight, but that must be normal for when you go diving. Since I have no where to put my clothes, I sadly drop them on the deck, covering them in all sorts of seafood. I really liked that shirt. Michael is nowhere in sight, but Larry is already on deck preparing my cage for when I descend. Out of nowhere I suddenly get the jitters. What if a shark attacked my cage? Would my parents ever really know how I had died or would I be presumed missing? Well, no turning back now. The storm had grown more frantic, as if the sea was in a hurry. Or as if…a monster was lurking below. What silly thoughts I have had ever since we went on this trip! I hope I will be back to normal by the time we go home. “Step in Miss Samantha.”, Larry says as he walks away from the crane, which had moments ago moved a small cage into the ocean, so only the top is seen. I hate it when you can’t see at the bottom of the water, don’t you? Monsters of all sorts might lurking below..like seaweed. Ugh, when it gets wrapped around your leg and the slime irks you. It makes me shudder thinking about it right now…. Before I put one foot in the water though, I think to myself, why am I doing this again? Am I really risking myself because my stupid boyfriend was too coward to come himself? Why, he hasn’t even texted me yet, and he promised! He could be cheating on me right now, with Sammy Doyle. Sammy Doyle has been keeping her eye on my boyfriend ever since highschool, thinking we just had to break up one day. As a matter of fact, I should call him right now, the cheater! “You know wh-”, I say, anger bubbling in my mind. But before I can back off and head towards my bag, Larry gets up from his seat faster than me, grabs my arm, and pushes me into the cage! Before I fall in, I try to land a blow on him, but all I hit is clean air. When I hit the water, the cold shocks me even further. I swim up, hoping I can get out before Larry latches the cage shut, but I’m too late. I swim up to the top and hold onto the bars, struggling to breath. Too much water has seeped into my nostrils and mouth, making it hard to even gasp. I spit out the water, coughing feverishly, and look up at the deck. Standing on deck is Michael and Larry. Larry is working at the ropes, using a dinner knife to cut away at them. It doesn’t take much time because the ropes look extremely old, older than this boat. Michael isn’t looking at me, instead he’s sitting down on a cooler box, staring down at something in his hands. “Micheal! Micheal! Please Micheal, help me! Are you seriously going to kill me, an innocent person?! Michael please, I’ll pay you double what he’s paying!”, I yell, making sure to use my last oxygen wisely. The only thing rushing through my head right now, is that I must survive. No. I will survive. No matter the cost. But, do you really want to? After all, when you go back home, nothing’s going to be the same again. Your parents will lock you inside, ground you. Why, you’d be lucky to even go to your backyard! What about your boyfriend too? College? Are you really ready for a life of misery? Studying studying studying. Maybe…it’s best to just…die., the voice inside my head says. But then, it’s too late. Too late to care whether I should die or not because the cage is already descending. Where? Some may say heaven, some hell, some no answer. I know where I’m going. Somewhere new. I hold my breath as long as I can and soon my whole body is surrounded by water. I can feel it now. I can feel the release as Larry finally cuts the last strand of rope and soon, the cage is plummeting. I look around, looking at my surroundings. Nothing. Just blue emptiness. I start to tear up. I can’t hold my breath much longer, but I feel like I’ve been plummeting for hours. I shake my mind back on earth, and guessed how long I’ve been plummeting. Maybe about…7 minutes? The edges around my vision start to blacken to a crisp. As the cage starts nearing the bottom, I can see reefs and castles. Wait..not castles..no it must be a kelp forest. Also, is it just me, but do the fish seem larger? Yes, and they seem to have….faces? Oh great, the water’s getting to me. I squint, hoping for the illusions to go away, but only succeed in tearing my eyes up more. “King Altea will be pleased with this one. Larry sure knows his humans.”, a voice behind me says. But I can’t turn around because my body has suddenly gone numb. After a few seconds, my vision is gone. Water enters every part of my body, killing me slowly. “Maybe I should ask the king if I could have this one. She’s cute for one of them.”, the voice says again. It’s a female’s voice. I can tell. “You know what happens after some time. That;s why nobody has attachments to one of them. There gone before you know it. Plus, aren't’ I better?”, says another voice. Male. “You are a coward. You cry when someone takes your food and whine when someone doesn’t want to be your friend. So…no. You’re too…stupid.”, the female voice replies. I hear a grunt of distaste and a sniffle, as if someone is about to cry. Then, I black out. What a cliffhanger. “Is she awake?”, are the first words I hear when I awake from my deep slumber. My eyes aren’t open yet though, instead there glued shut. “Hello? Larry?”, I whisper out, my voice cracking. It hurts to even move my mouth. I hear a chuckle and some movements. Then, I hear a loud sound, like doors being opened, and a woman’s shriek. “How dare you bring a human in here Leo!? You are breaking the law you created by even touching her!”, shrieks the woman’s voice. Suddenly, my eyes flutter open, but I soon close them due to the burning light. But I adjust. The sight that greets me is one I have never seen before. What I think is a floating woman, is actually a woman with fins, swimming and breathing in water. I then panic because if she’s in water, then I must be too! “Ha! Look, she’s panicking like all the other humans before her. Look darling, there’s a bubble around you. You’re alright.”, the first voist voice says. I recognize it. It’s the smooth voice on the phone. Leonardo. The impostor “Larry”. I move my head to see a man about my age sitting on a chair next to me, which must be extremely uncomfortable because he also has fins. “Aren’t you uncomfortable sitting like that?”, are the first words that pop out of my mouth. I instantly regret them. Why, he’s dressed like royalty! The man next to me, the man who the woman addressed as Leo, is dressed like a king. He is not bare-chested like I imagined mermaids to be, but instead he wears a shirt made of a green floaty cloth. He doesn’t wear pants, but instead a sort of skirt that you would see in Egypt. The skirt catches my eye because it is covered in millions of tiny little glass beads. They are all the same color, gold, but each one has a sort of different shine to it. His eyes are same old brown, like mine. His blond hair is swaying with the water, making impossible to look away. His tail is the most perplexing of all. It is not green like any respectable cartoon mermaid, but goldfish orange. The scales blinded me like the sun, but were almost impossible to look away from, like the sun. I hear a small growl and look to see it has emitted from the woman who had shrieked. “Leo darling, why is there a human here?”, the woman says and i can hear she is trying so hard not to strangle someone. I turn around again to Leo frown, but then smile when I caught his eye. “Marina don’t be jealous, she’s only staying here for a few days until we can get her back up to the surface, then she’ll be gone my sweet. May I ask my pretty pearl, what is your name?”, says Leo. At first I decide to tell him a fake name, but then he flashes a charming smile and then all my worries are gone. What’s the worst that can happen? “Samantha. Also, where am I?”, I say as politely as I can. Marina huffs in anger when Leo flashes another smile and she swims out of the room in a hurry. She must have a crush on him, but I know I can do better. “You are in Altea, the kingdom of mermaids, our kind. The woman who stormed out is our Queen, Miss Marina. The man next to you is none other than our king, Leonardo Altea. The ropes holding your cage must have snapped, otherwise Larry wouldn’t let you this far down. Look’s like you have to stay here for a few days, like the king said.”, says a woman hovering above the king, a trident in her hand. She must be a guard of some sort. Her skirt is lined with knives of all shapes and sizes, and her clothes are made of a different cloth than the kings. It’s almost….glossy. Her hair is like the flames of a rising sun, stunning. But I can tell she also hates me because she has a look of pure hatred on her face, one I have had experience with. “Who are you? And who do you think you are to show me this disrespect! The king is talking to me, you distasteful fish!”, I bark out, letting all the anger loose. Then I realize, it’s not me, it’s this place. This place is making me say what’s deep inside my mind. I can be free here. “Who do you think you are? You are just another human who has ventured down here by accident. Oh yes, you are not the first human that our king has taken a liking too. Why I remember, the last time a female human came down, they had a child, but she was soon killed. Marina would simply not allow it.”, the woman lashes back. Her voice and face are as calm as a drifting cloud, no sound, no movement. “Just because he has done something wrong in the past, does not mean you should judge him for that! Anyway, he’s your king, so he can do whatever the bloody hell he likes! Like this!”, I yell in fury, angry that she is so calm. I grab the king by his shirt and plant a kiss on his lips, our chests connecting. I don’t know why I did it, but I know it was the wrong thing to do. For all I know, this mermaids could be carnivores or be hostile. His breath tastes of strawberries, which is perplexing as strawberry’s can’t possibly grow down here. His lips are as soft as a petal, his eyes in panic. Suddenly, I feel someone grabbing me and I can hear my spine break as I am thrown down on the floor. The shock keeps me down, not the pain. “I am so sorry King Altea. I promise you, this won’t happen again. I’ll take her to her room now. Go get some rest Leo.”, the female guard says and soon, I feel a hand dragging me away, probably towards a cell. Like I said, something new. “The King will deal with you later. He has more pressing matters to deal with right now than a silly little girl. Get comfy, while you can.”, the guard says and I can tell that she is smirking, even with my eyes closed. I am dropped onto what feels like a slab of stone, but upon further exploration with my hands, is actually a cold mattress. After a few minutes, I hear the slam of a door and I am finally alone. “What did you do? The last human had a kid with the king, so what did you do?”, a voice says from somewhere. I open my eyes in panic and look around, until I see a hunched figure in one corner of my cell. Oh great, a cellmate. “I kissed him. It was…worth it.”, I say, my voice barely above a whisper. I’m already imagining him hearing about me in pain and rushing over here to heal me and then make me his new queen. I hear a snort. “That’s what they all say sweetheart. Trust me kid, you’re better off without him. He’ll turn you into one of them if you do keep following him.”, the voice again replies. I flame up again, ready to fire back and demolish this person. Yet the angry I had felt before has somehow…left me? “They have that effect on humans. They make you do things you could only dream of. The name’s Sally Charm, and I’ve been here long enough for me to resist their sweet dreams. Though, it won’t be long now before they drag me away to death. They’ll do it too you too. Soon enough.”, Sally says, and then I realize, I didn’t say the anger had left me, out loud. “How did….how did you do that? Are you..one of them?”, I say, frightened. If they can control my feelings and read my mind, what hopes do I ever have of leaving? Another snort emerges from Sally Charm. “No darling, I’m not a fish. The only reason I can read your mind is because your face says everything. No mind-reading honey. Just one look at your pale face and that’s all it took. So, name?”, chuckles Sally. What an idiot I am. “Oh. Samantha Baker. Can you come out of the corner so we can come up with a plan to get out of here?”, I say and I try to see out of the corner of my eyes, but lying flat on a bench can really block your vision. “Here, take this. They use it to heal their people and it does wonders. I never use the stuff though. What hope do we have of getting out anyway?”, Sally says as she emerges from her dark corner. In her hand lies a small white rectangle that looks like a square of gum. I can tell it isn’t though, because it has a sort of shine to it. Sally Charm is not as dainty as I thought she would look. She spoke like a true wise woman, and sounded like one too. Instead, what stepped out was a 15 year-old girl. Not exactly charming attire either. Black cargo pants, a red tank top ripping at the seams, and some sandals covered in mud. Her shoulder-length red hair was in a ponytail, but the worst part was the scar. Who could have done this to a kid? A cracked scar ran down through half of her right eye, which was closed shut. Her other eye was a pale blue, but otherwise fine. How did she come down here? I took the medicine and popped it in my mouth, swallowing it whole. It left a kind of soapy taste in my mouth. “I know what you’re thinking. How could a kid like me, end up down here? And how did she get that horrid scar? I’ve told this story a million times already, but I think today might be my last. I would ask you to sit down, but I see you’re already comfortable.”, Sally again reads my mind. “Haha, very funny. Actually.”, I say, the laughing part causing me more pain. But then, I feel a sort of, floaty feeling? Then, I sit up and face Sally. No pain. “How?”, is all I can utter. Sally’s face shows no interest, just sadness. I sit back down and make the hand motion for zipping your lips. “I’m sure you know Larry by know, and that he was the one responsible for letting you down here. They’re never going to let you go. Larry works for them. When someone doesn’t want to pay him or the mermaids are looking for victims, he “accidently” cuts the rope. I used to work for him. I didn’t know about him killing people and stuff, until I found out. That’s when he dumped into the bloody water and the fishes dragged me down.”, says Sally, and I feel anger for Larry. He left me here to die, so if I ever see him again, I’ll make sure he can never breath again. “And the scar? If you don’t mind me asking…”, I say bluntly. What kind of weapon could have possibly caused this? “When the mermaids dragged me down here, I fought back a little. One of them got their claws on me and soon I got a shiny new scar. I’ve been stuck down here for…what…2 years? Yep, pretty much insane now.”, Sally says, and for good measure, she pulls a funny face. I laugh, the worry flowing away. Then I remember. “Tanks. In the corner of the cage of which I came from, there are oxygen tanks. Have you seen where they put the cage?”, I ask frantically, looking around the room. Outside our cage, the only thing outside is a few lumps under as blanket, some tables, and chains. “Hold your horses doll. The lumps under the blankets are probably your tanks, they bought them in a few hours ago. They kept asking me what they were, but I didn’t answer them. Hey, this might actually get us out. We have a window with bars, some tanks, and hope. Great plan.”, Sally says, the sarcasm oozing out of her words. I sigh. “Okay, maybe not the best plan, but’s it’s a start, no?”, I say, trying to make a point. Sally grunts, rolling her eyes. This girl is going to be tough to cooperate with. “But….what about the king?”, I say before I can stop myself. Do I really want to leave this place of luxury for the sick world above? Maybe, in time, Leo will come to truly love me, unlike that sorry excuse of a man back home. “Tell me Samantha, why do you like the King?”, Charm says, her one eye squinted at me, trying to figure out my secrets. I mull over her words. Well let’s see, he’s rich, cute, has fins, a dazzling smile, and adorable. Is that it? Hmmm…not a long list. Wait, what if he’s cruel and cheats on me? I mean, he was pretty mean to his wife. Marina…hmmm…how could he ever marry her? “How did they end up together?”, I say, awaiting my answer. Sally seemed to know who I’m talking about, probably because hundreds of other female humans before me have asked the same question. “Marina was human once. She was my best friends. Was. Then, when she fell down here, she met the King. Marina wasn’t like you or the others. She could resist them and she didn’t have any feelings for the King. She didn’t even think he was cute.”, chuckles Sally, but I can see in her eye a small tear forming. “She was thrown in a cell like me, but the King was intrigued by her. He had never met someone who could resist him. So, every afternoon, he called Marina from her cell and she was forced to go to his chambers. He tried to talk to her, befriend her, and even tried to kiss her once. But, she never wavered.”, Sally continues, tears already rolling down her cheeks. “Then, one day, he took her, there. She said she had never felt more vulnerable, more naked in her life. The King taught her, no matter what complaints she gave. She finally cracked though. One day, after three years of hoping, she cracked. Like a walnut. I remember the last time I saw her. When she left her cell, her eyes said forgive me, but her smile said I’ve forgotten you already.”, Sally ended her story, and then turned towards our barred window, staring into the water abyss. “Where’s there?”, I ask. Of all the tone I’ve spent here, everyone seems to fear there. “There is where they kill you. Not physically, but mentally. They take your soul, and make pearls using them. How else do you think pearls get their shine? Then the human you, the one without soul, is set to working in their labs forever. They prod, poke, and dissect you, never minding your screams. You can hear them at night sometimes.”, Sally whispers, her eyes till trained outside the window. “You know, for a 15 year-old girl, you have a pretty vivid imagination. I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”, I speak my mind, not caring if she would attack at this outburst of mine. Instead, she laughs. Oh, her sweet, sweet laugh. What a beautiful thing to here in a world like this. “I don’t know if that’s a compliment or just rudeness, but I’ll take it as a compliment. Thank you, Samantha Baker. Now, let’s get planning, shall we?”, Sally turns around, a grin on her small face. She looks like the most hopeful girl in the world. Let’s hope that will get us somewhere. At midnight, some guards delivered some food. A small metal tray full of seaweed, peas, some pink meat, and a fork. Getting peas with a fork is extremely hard, in my case at least. Sally said the meat was from some kind of shellfish, that’s why we ate it raw. Sally says that she has been planning for the past two years now, ever since she’s been caught. Under her bed, she takes out a sharpened fork, sharp enough to pick the lock on out cage. “Now?”, I yell-whisper as the lock clicks open, and Sally opens it, carefully so the door doesn’t make a noise. She makes a hand motion for me to follow her, and she leads me to the ranks. I remove the blankets to reveal two oxygen tanks and two masks. I check it, and sure enough, thirty minutes each. I carry one and strap it on my shoulders, the weight a little bit too much. Sally seems to carry the weight just fine. She points out my red face and giggles a bit, but soon we are back on task. “Once we open that door, there is a hallway down. There are three doors at the end. We go to the left one, which leads to a small garden they have. There they have a small canon, big enough for two humans. I know it’s there because when I fell down, it came down in the cage with me. It won’t shoot us straight to the surface, but close enough for us to swim back to land.”, Sally commands, her voice strong and clear. She could have been a soldier in the army. But what happened next in a few minutes, determined her future. Sally opened the door and stepped out, memorizing her surroundings. I stepped out too when she finally gave the word that all was clear. The hall was not long, but it certainly catches your eye. All along the walls hung ordinary human objects. Sporks, footballs, beach toys, a dead bear, an old phone, and much more. Plaque’s held the names the mermaids had created for them. Such as the phone, they had renamed it as a “loud thing”. Guess it doesn’t get much service down here. “Okay. Open the door Samantha.”, Sally says, her sharpened fork at the ready. “If something attacks me, I will kill you.”, I mutter, and Sally chuckles to herself. I roll my eyes and put my hand on the nob. Breath in, breath out. Open. “It’s beautiful….”, I whisper as I behold the wonders above. Seeing no guards in sight, I run forward and pick at every flower. There are huge forests of kelp, hundreds of tiny seahorses in huge groups, endless corals, and benches around every bend. The ground wasn’t ordinary sand or mud, but a sort of pinkish….gravel? In the distance, you could see a tiny town constructed from huge amounts of coral. Lamps hung from kelp, illuminated by a single fish trapped inside. “We don’t have time to oggle. Come one now.”, Sally’s voice pierces through my mind, snapping me back to reality. I poke the bubble around head, hoping it will distract me, but too no avail. I turn around to stare at an odd fish, when I hear a sickening sound. It sounded like something soft being…stabbed. “SALLY!”, I scream and run towards her as she falls, the mermaid behind her taking his trident out of her stomach. When I get to her, she is clutching her wound, her breathing ragged. The water does nothing to help, causing the blood to flow out more than ever. A small smile etches onto her face. “Sally, why are you smiling!? Okay, just hold on to it, okay? Their going to help you, I’m sure of it. Just, breath. Please…”, I say, my breathing ragged as well. Sally, my only true friend, even if I had known her for only a day, is dying. The other’s on the surface, they never cared for me, but Sally, she was something else. “You know…they aren’t…going to…help me. Good…bye….Samantha.”, Sally moans, and on the last word, her chest stops. I wrap her up in my arms and let out all the pain, misery, and screams. She looks so peaceful. The wound is still bleeding, but not too much now. Maybe, it was for the best. What kind of life would she have if she went back up with me? She would have been homeless, or worse thrown in jail. Larry would just throw her back in, and my parents would never allow her to live with us. So, was it better this way? I feel a tap on my shoulder. “Take her down to the plantations, and make sure she stays there.”, a familiar voice behind me says. Sally’s story replays in mind. Her coming down here, planning away, being betrayed by that witch. I jump up and run towards her, intent to leave my mark. She doesn’t see me coming until I already plunge the sharpened fork into her eye, making sure to leave a scar. No pearl medicine can fix that. “TAKE HER DOWN. NOW.”, Marian shrieks, her eye oozing blood. I try to lunge at her once more, but some guards catch me before I can, and knock me unconscious. When I open my eyes, I don’t see a cell or some random room. Instead, I see my hands working to pull out weird green plants out of the ground. I look around to see that hundreds of other people are doing the same, no stopping, no noises. Just picking. I can’t breathe nor speak. I can’t stop my hands from picking the same plant over and over again. When I get to the end of my line, my body drags me to a small room that is labeled “no stealing”. The room is covered in white light. Hundreds of shelves contain small cases, each one holding to about 50 pearls. My hands pick up a cloth and sprayer from one shelf, and a case from the other. It is labeled “recent”. I flip it open, and it in, one pearl. Below the pearl, another label, “Samantha”. There is when they take your soul, and reform it, into something more precious. Then, you are left to work in the fields until you die. I learned this the hard way. How do you know this? You were probably caught too. The End. Hope u guys enjoyed it!! Sorry about the format I promise my other ones aren't gonna be like this!

[aaaprilbutaslac]

The last 365 days were series of events you did not imagine your tiny body could handle. At 20, I should say you were forced to live literally alone. You were so used to being independent way back in college but living in another city, oh boy, ‘twas a whole new level of independence. *round of applause* And although you’ve experienced earning money in college, spent most of it buying books even, working full time was life changing. (If ever I get a chance to read this when I’m 25, I’d be laughing) Right after you graduated college (you were still 19, turning 20 back then), as far as my memory goes, you asked papa for 10,000 pesos as capital to find a decent job. That was the last time you asked for money from them. Nilubusan mo nga HAHA. You went to Makati City, the business center of PH, for training and spent almost a month there. Most of the nights were video chats with Paolo, the girls, and phone calls with parents, while all of your days were focused on training, memorizing stuffs, computations, and the like. Due to your fear of getting lost, you did not get a chance to visit church during your stay. Good thing you can listen to Sunday worships via TV. Your daily route was hotel- corporate center- fastfood chains-hotel (although, you got little side trips due to your co-workers hihi). After what was deemed to be an eternity, you were deployed from Makati City to Iligan City. Found a place to stay, made friends with the bankers, missed home and the people. Work was not easy, not to mention the pressure from your supervisor. You were told you’re his exemption since he never hires fresh graduates nor anyone younger than 25 because they normally don’t have sufficient experience to do the job. Not to mention, your boyfriend broke up with you because he wanted to be alone and find his purpose in life blah blaah blaaah. Then here comes your parents adding up problems, what’s new? Your everyday routine became either (1) wake up- go to work- go home- read books/ watch krdama- sleep or (2) wake up- go to work- go home-cry until you sleep. There was this whole month that you weren’t productive in work. You kept praying for the aching to stop, telling yourself that this too shall pass, reminding yourself that you’ve been through a lot and that break up is just pancit HAHA. Then another whole week of crying (this happened last March) due to another problem aggh. Your life is a kdrama without two hot oppas fighting over you HAHA Even when your life is a constant mess, I am still grateful that you still have the courage to smile and stay sane. God blessed you a decent job, great friends who’s more like sisters, a family that is still healthy, you are healthy. NOT A PRAYER LEFT UNANSWERED. At 20, you have earned a lot, although savings’ still a question but you did get to buy stuffs you’ve wanted, did a little house repair, and travelled to feed your soul. You learned a lot, made a few mistakes, stood up for your rights, made improvements on your attitude, have an intimate relationship with God. What more can I ask? 10,000 pesos last year wasn’t scammed but that investment is now worth a million. Not in pesos but in experience. Advance happy 21st birthday, self. You have grown maturely and beautifully, charot. Continue to strive to be better, earn more and spend less (especially on food, you pig). Also, stop spoiling your sister and go buy books because I know you miss them. Good luck on your masters. Good luck on your career. Continue to appreciate how ridiculously beautiful life is. You did well, and I am so proud of you! Yours truly, April