#and it was a bit of a surprise but also....yeah. actually yes. renaissance woman.

[notbecauseofvictories]

in terms of my other hobbies, I feel like every warm sunny afternoon finds me with my forehead pressed up against my back window, muttering ".......planting time? time for plants? plant?????" to myself as I stare at my empty tomato cages.

[otomehoes]

S/O who can fence — Leonardo, Comte, Napoleon, Arthur and Jean

pairings: reader x comte, leonardo x reader, napoleon x reader, arthur x reader and jean x reader

warnings: use of weapons, mentions of nsfw [napoleon’s part], mentions of violence [jean],

A/N: rn I feel ✨blessed✨ with this request ahdhdh, also I had to study a little bit about fence things and movements

❥ Leonardo Da Vinci

actually he didn’t know that you fences until he saw you one day sneaking out to the practice room where napoleon and jean used to fence

his curiosity is bout to kill him so he follows you to see what you are up to

but when he sees you with napoleon fencing so fiercely but at the same time so elegantly

oh god he can’t stop staring at you

when you notice him you can’t help but feel shy

HES BOMBARDING YOU WITH QUESTIONS

also proud really really proud

you always liked april because of its fresh days. also because you could go to fence without getting worried about the weather. it was a secret that you wanted to keep for yourself. not because you felt embarrassed or anything, but fencing was something that always made you feel confident, it was only you and your fast movements towards your opponent .

however that day it was different. you didn’t know that your beautiful and curious boyfriend leonardo was following you. it was normal for you to disappear a few hours once a week. he was walking when he saw you running towards the practice room where sometimes napoleon or jean went to practice fencing. with light steps Leonardo followed you like a shadow.

his eyes went wide when he saw you. napoleon was fencing with someone, he couldn’t see who it was, until he saw through the fencing mask a long and silky (h/c) hair. and then he knew who was napoleon opponent. but what took his breathing was how fast and how elegant was your movements, the way you moved and how you thrusted your attacks toward the former french emperor threatening and pushing him towards the edge, made him so proud that he couldn’t keep hiding anymore and revealing himself to the both of you.

you saw a shadow moving behind you, you took a glance to see who it was, surprised you saw how leonardo was standing at the door looking at you with sparking eyes. you regretted your actions when you saw the tip of his foil pointing at you. with a sigh you dropped your fencing weapon, showing your defeat.

you heard a few steps coming from behind, turning you saw leonardo smiling at you “cara mia, you should have told me you knew fencing, next time I’ll be more careful to not make you mad” he said while you punched slightly at his arm trying to cover the hard blush you had. leonardo only knew that his beautiful girlfriend was a really interesting woman who always managed to surprise him even more.

❥ Comte de Saint-Germain

he knew it

but he respected your privacy

he didn’t told you, but the reason that he made the fencing room more big and with new equipmentit was because of you

sometimes he went to see you, but secretly

when you told him he did as he never knew

pikachu meme face

his respect for you will only grew to a 5000%

“mademoiselle you’re really amazing, it the first time that I find someone who can keep up with me” jean’s eyes were full of admiration while he praised you. with a blush you thanked him, at first it was hard to convince jean to practice some fencing with you, he thought that he would end up hurting you, but you assured him that you would be alright.

what the both of you didn’t know was how a pair of caramel eyes observed all your movements. with a smile comte turned back to his office knowing that in a few minutes you’ll be there with him. his heart was beating so fast that he couldn’t even think properly, your elegants moves, the way you dodged all the attacks that jean sent to you was something breathtaking. his love for you only grew more and more. he knew he did right falling in love with you, not only your heart was strong but your body too, and the fierce way you attacked jean proved how much he admired his beautiful girlfriend.

running towards comte’s room you arrived at the entrance of the door. you didn’t see how much time passed since you started to practice with jean. your fencing skills was a secret that you wanted to keep to yourself, and the only person who knew about that was jean and napoleon, the first one whom you often staying long hours practicing.

carefully you knocked his door to proceed with opening it , you saw comte looking at some papers with a frown, probably more letter from leonardo’s family. sometimes you felt bad for the renaissance man and for comte too, who had to write or burn another pile of letters.

“Abel, you should take a break, come here with me” you said while walking towards the sofa. his eyes meet yours and with a smile he went towards you sitting next to you with an elegance that could steal anyone’s breathe.

“also... sorry for being so late” you said looking at him, his eyes inspected yours, looking for an explanation. “well, I’ve been wanting to tell you this from a long time ago, but I never found the right moment” taking a deep breath you prepared yourself “once or twice a week I go with jean or napoleon to practice some fencing, nothing too dangerous”

“and did you had fun today?” he asked you, you looked at him surprised, you didn’t expect him to be this calm, and then you saw it, it was just a second, but that tiny and momentary spark in his eyes told you everything “you knew it don’t you?” you asked him, a smile appeared on his lips “yes, but you know what chérie? knowing that you can defend yourself so fiercely only makes me fall more and more in love with you”

“s-shut up d-don’t be dumb” you told him while trying to evade his intense gaze, your ears burning like fire. it didn’t matter how but he always made you feel so amazing, and that was one between of the uncountable reasons that you loved him.

❥ Napoleon Bonaparte

he’s proud of his nunuche

it’s something normal to see the two of you fencing til death

won’t admit it but he sometimes goes easy on you

that’s until you start teasing him

so yeah most of your sparring seasons ends up with the both of you lying on the floor trying to breathe properly

it was common to meet up with napoleon wednesdays and fridays at the sparring room. “if you want to evade more faster the attacks flex your knees a little bit more, it’ll be more easy to move too” while his face had a serious facade, his eyes were soft. napoleon loved this. spending time with the person he loved only made his heart to beat so fast that he sometimes wondered if he would die right there.

following your boyfriend’s advice you flexed a little more your legs, a felling of comfort appearing on your body. he really knows even when it’s not his own body. A mischievous grin appeared on your face, the odds for your idea to success were low, but it was worth trying it.

“let’s make a bet” your voice echoed the room, napoleon looked at you curious before adding “tell me”.

“if I lose this round, I’ll be at your mercy the whole night, any wish will be fulfilled by me” you smiled and winked at him before continuing “but if win, you will be at my mercy, I can request anything, what do you think? deal or not deal”

and now there you were, both of you lying on the ground, trying to catch your breathing and laughing at the same time, you looked at napoleon, he seemed to relaxed, so free, sometimes you cursed at yourself for not having a camera to take a photo. the view was worthy, really worthy. his eyes met yours, a smile appearing on his beautiful lips “let’s say that we’re both the winners” he said while getting up while offering his hand to you to do the same thing.

moments like this were really worthy.

❥ Arthur Conan Doyle

he discovered in the worst situation ever

it was past midnight when the Arthur decided to pay a visit to you

nah he was just horny

entering at you room without making any sound who could startle you he tried to went towards your bed when the tip which seemed from a sword was pointing in the middle of his face

he was ✨shocked✨

and screamed

actually his soul almost left his body

when you saw it was him you started to apologize like a crazy

he totally forgot why he went to your room

he made a mental note to not storm like that at your bedroom anymore

you were supposed to be sleeping, but for any reason your body didn’t want to. but something told you that probably it was because of dazai’s yōkai story. with a sigh you closed the windows and started to prepare yourself to go to bed. that was until you heard a tiny but almost inaudible footsteps at the corridor. each step seemed to be more and more closer to your door.

the probably that someone could be up at this hour was almost impossible, you thought about arthur, but he told you that he probably would go to bed earlier because he had some business to attend at the town tomorrow.

in times like that you felt grateful for the infernal fencing classes that your parents told you to attend when you were younger. with careful steps, you stood behind the door, with your foile in hand. and then the door opened, with fast reflexes you pointed at the ghost- wait, at the person, you heard a scream which made you scream too, turning the lights on you saw arthur with a surprise face almost terrified.

“OH– ARTHUR IM SO SORRY” you screamed throwing the foile and taking with both of your hands you boyfriends handsome face “oh god oh god, I really thought you were a ghost or something, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!”

taking a big breath arthur looked at you, now more composed and calm “tell me, did you want something” you talked taking his hand with yours, he looked at you, and then at the door “I- I don’t remember”

❥ Jean D’Arc

he didn’t expect it at all

he didn’t have words

just like Arthur he found out in the worst situation

it was one of your late night walkings when a group of three men approached to the both of you

feeling the danger jean wrapped an arm around you his jaw tensed and his hand on the tip of his sword

he saw that the other man had one too

he told you to hide

after the incident sometimes asks you to fence with him sometimes

it’s just an excuse to spend time with you

“jean I think that they’re following us” you told your boyfriend, his grip on your shoulder tensed up, his beautiful purple eyes were darker, jaw clenched “mademoiselle when I give you the sign you run, okay?”

you looked at jean and then the three man, something caught your eye. the man on the left had a sword, a big one. you knew that that classes that fencing classes would be worthy in the future. you looked at jean who was prepared to defend you from that group of men. but who would protect him, without thinking further and with a fast movement you took the man’s sword elegantly pointing at him death in the eye.

there weren’t three surprised faces but four, jean’s face got totally decomposed, surprise written on his face. he never, not in a million of years would ever imagine you being able to handle a sword with that determination “jean I appreciate your concern about my well-being but if you protect me, who will protect you?”

and with that words the soldier was preparing a whole wedding inside his head. you made him see all the good thing in the world, and he swore for his life that he would protect that perception of the world for you. but for the first time, in many years he let his pride and stubbornness apart, he promised to himself that he would never let you go. not you, not his warrior angel.

— yōkai or 妖怪 are a class of supernatural monsters and spirits in Japanese folklore. The word 'yōkai' is made up of the kanji for "bewitching; attractive; calamity" and "spectre; apparition; mystery; suspicious."

[revengerevisited]

So I’ve been kinda dancing around my original story idea for a little while, and I got this idea in my head of ‘what if I release chapter 1 and then get feedback without telling anyone what the story is about first so it’s more of a surprise?’ But honestly? I’m realizing since I already released a preview-of-a-preview for chapter 1, and it might be a little while until I finish chapter 1, plus I honestly kinda feel like I’d rather work on sketches of my character designs than write at the moment, I might as well go ahead and tell you guys. X’3

So! I watched a couple anime recently both centered around the premise of... monster girls! These being Monster Musume and Monster Girl Doctor, but then I noticed there’s also Interviews with Monster Girls, A Centaur’s Life, and the infamous Interspecies Reviewers, and I asked myself... Monster girls are pretty popular right now, yeah? But where’s all the monster boys?! And that’s how I got the idea! I re-watched some of my favorite anime based on Otome Games, Kamigami no Asobi and Uta no Prince Sama for inspiration as well, and a few ones I hadn’t seen before like Dance with Devils and Magic-kyun Renaissance for inspiration as well.

So now I’ve got my premise that I shared earlier: This is the story of Millie, a young woman down on her luck who happens to live in a world where monsters aren’t just real, but commonplace. She started working as a maid in a mansion-turned-art-school whose students are a group of very attractive monster boys. The twist is that these aren’t just any monster boys; they belong to various rare and exotic species with deadly reputations...

Note that character and place names are technically place-holders for now and may change if I come up with better ones. Now, I don’t wanna spoil anything story-wise, but I think I can introduce my setting and some of the characters that you’re gonna meet. The story is set in a modern setting, though it’s vague if it’s actually Earth or just some generic world similar to it, as I try to avoid referencing real-world places or events. This is a world where humans and monsters live together after a Great Interspecies War happened in the past, but tensions have mostly relaxed by the time the story takes place. The war could be thought of as the equivalent of our own World War One, one in which there was a truce decided after many years of stalemate fighting.

The city everything takes place in is tentatively named Dullahan, and was built directly after the war to commemorate peace between human and monster kind. It’s considered an artistic cultural center, and it’s got a lot of interesting entertainment places to go to, arcades, theaters, aquariums, etc, that the characters can have a lot of different shenanigans in. The other main setting is the Beaufort Academy of the Arts, which was actually a mansion that was converted into a small private school. This is where all the characters live, and our main character Millie works as a maid there.

Before I go into the characters, I should start with the various monster species. There are 12 species, divided into 2 groups: common monsters and exotic monsters. The common monsters are centaurs, harpies, lamias (snake people), kobolds (dog people), ogres, and merrows (mermaids). These species are all pretty standard, and will be mostly background characters and npcs. The main characters, and love interests for Millie, will be of the exotic variety: arachnes (spider people), sirens (deep-sea mermaids), mandrakes (plant people), dragons, manticores (with a liontaur body-type), and scyllas (octopus people).

So what differentiates a common monster from an exotic one? Well, while the Interspecies War was between humans and monsters in general, some monsters were already at least partially integrated into human society, and the rest followed soon after the war ended. These monsters were almost as common as humans, and either herbivorous or omnivorous, with the exception of the carnivorous lamias who prefer to eat eggs over anything else. On the other hand, the so-called ‘exotic’ species were not only much more rare, but they had a very different food preference... one which earned them the now derogatory nickname... man-eaters.

Naturally, most ‘man-eaters’ weren’t exactly welcomed into human --nor common monster-- society with open arms, not that most of them wanted to. For the most part, species as powerful and dangerous as them didn’t want to play nice with those they had once --and in some cases still do-- regard as prey, and so hid away into the furthest reaches of the world. Which of course makes them perfect material for all our leading men and Millie’s various love-interests!! Oh yes, while all of these monster boys are perfectly civilized --well, for the most part-- they still belong to species that many both human and monster alike continue to fear to this day. While they aren’t exactly fish out of water (well, except for the siren) there’s still plenty of awkward misunderstandings and interesting scenarios that can be played out.

So! Let’s have a quick run-down of the characters, keep in mind that none of these names are final and could change later on. First there’s Millie, a hardworking young woman who’s had a recent streak of bad luck. Through a misunderstanding she gets hired as a maid in a mansion-turned-art-school. She’s very sweet and tries her best to help others, but she’s not as innocent as she appears; she’ll understand your innuendos just fine, even if she doesn’t really say any herself! Next is Richard and Lara Beaufort, a husband and wife who run the school. Richard is rather laid-back, yet he’s also a master of all kinds of art, painting, sculpture, photography, dancing, singing, you name it! Lara is his arachne wife, a rather boisterous woman who owns a high-class fashion company. The secret to her clothing’s success?? Arachne silk, of course! The school was her idea, a way to help better integrate exotic species into society. Will her mission succeed? Only time can tell.

Richard and Lara have a son named Simon, our first love interest and a human-arachne hybrid who takes almost entirely after his mother in the looks-department (hybrids tend to look like one species or the other, rather than a mix of both). He’s a bit withdrawn due to dealing with bullying as a kid; most people --human and monster alike-- are afraid of his spider-like appearance, so he doesn’t get out much-- to the point his parents worry about him being a shut-in for life! He’s also a gamer boy, and has a secret soft side for gothic poetry, although he doesn’t want to join his parents’ art classes. He actually disapproves of his mother’s exotic species integration plan, as from what he’s experienced he feels it’s a waste of time.

Simon’s best friend and Millie’s second love interest is Louis, a mandrake who lives in the woods behind the manor. Louis is extremely shy and more than a bit lonely, even more so than Simon, and he doesn’t speak very often out of fear that the sound of his voice will hurt others around him. Mandrake screams can induce insanity or even kill those that hear them, hence his fear. Being part plant, Louis has mild shape-shifting abilities and is able to transform between child and young adult forms at will, although he’s actually the oldest of the group. He also isn’t a student at the art school, although he has an interest in floristry.

Now for our actual students! Forrest is a manticore, which in this world means he has a body similar to that of a centaur, but with the lower half of a lion instead of a horse, and a scorpion-like tail tipped with a deadly venomous stinger. Despite his species’s name literally meaning ‘man-eater’, Forrest is extremely friendly and cheerful, and is very sporty too. His passion is photography, and he also loves eating food-- any sort of meat dish is fine by him! He’s also a fan of fantasy tabletop roleplaying games, and will often make references comparing them to everyday life; he always plays the knight who saves the princess!

Anthony is a childhood ‘friend’ of Forrest’s, though he’s loathe to admit it. Highly intelligent and highly snobbish, Anthony fancies himself an intellectual-- and he’s not exactly wrong. Being a dragon, he likes to hoard things-- in his case, knowledge. Anthony loves to read, and is most often found in the library. His skill is in drawing and painting, and all his paintings’ invariably morose subject matter worry Millie. Still, this haughty dragon could definitely learn to loosen up a little, and be a little more kind; perhaps his stay at the academy --and his interactions with Millie-- will open his mind to appreciating the feelings of others. He does, at the very least, greatly respect Master Beaufort as a master of the arts.

The other two students are denizens of the sea, and have been friends for a very long time. Emil is a scylla, and like all scyllas he’s a little eccentric, and just can’t seem to keep his tentacles to himself! While Forrest is obsessed with eating, Emil’s true calling is cooking, and he loves making all kinds of dishes, especially anything seafood and/or foreign. Emil also is highly appreciative of women’s fashion, and absolutely adores everything to come from Madam Beaufort’s clothing brand-- so much so that he actually wears them himself! His pretty-boy looks and penchant for wearing women’s clothing actually has Millie mistake him for a girl at first, though he’s very much unafraid to show her his romantic side, or at least what he interprets as romantic... 

Keeping Emil’s pervy antics in check is our sixth and final monster boy, Oswald! As a siren, Oswald spent most of his life in the sea, and still has a lot to learn about humanity. He’s a pretty cool guy but gets a bit embarrassed about his species’s troublesome past as the cause of many shipwrecks at sea, and would prefer to not discuss it. His passion is rock music, and his main instrument is the guitar. He also loves to sing, but refrains from doing so due to the hypnotic effect it has on other species. His lack of legs, tentacles, or a snake-like tail means that like other merrows and sirens he requires a wheelchair to move around on land, and often feels frustrated that he can’t show off how adept he is at traversing water. He’s also easy to embarrass and obsessed with not allowing anything to ‘ruin’ his manly image, including allowing Millie (a girl!) to help carry him around.

So there you have it, all my monster boys! I left out a few things, as those would be major spoilers, but those are my ideas for the characters for now! I’ll try to draw and post some sketches of their designs later. Hopefully I haven’t forgotten anything, but this won’t be the last time I talk about monster boys. Any questions or comments would be very much appreciated! Nsfw questions are allowed (all the boys wear pants for a reason, after all), though I’m currently not sure if this series will be 16+ or 18+, if you catch my meaning. Lemme know how interested you are in this story, or if you’re not interested please let me know that too! 

[carewyncromwell]

Cinderelly, Cinderelly, night and day, it’s Cinderelly~... ^.^ Okay..before I jump into the next part of the Cinderella AU, here’s your usual appetizer of random historical/etc. notes!

Although carriages were developed centuries earlier, actual coaches like the kind we think of from Cinderella stories were first developed in the late 16th century in Hungary, specifically a little town called Kocs. (The word “coach” and its alternatives in other languages, such as the German Kutsche and the Spanish and Portuguese coche, are thought to have been derived from the Hungarian kocsi, meaning “of Kocs.”) They then really caught on in the rest of Europe after Queen Elizabeth I of England started using them in the 1580s. The terms “coach” and “carriage” are often used interchangeably, but if one wanted to pin-point the advancements coaches specifically made in contrast to carriages of the past, there are a few differences one can pick out in how they’re built. Coaches generally are four-wheeled enclosed vehicles with doors and/or windows (glass was added in later centuries), and often include a “boot” seat on the outside for a footman and/or luggage to sit on. Coaches also generally have a reputation for providing a smoother ride than previous modes of transport because they’re suspended between the wheels rather than directly over or beside them. After the invention of the coach, one can find carriages (royal ones, in particular) adopting some of these same attributes.

Sadly wheelchairs really weren’t a thing in the 16th century. The first self-propelled wheeled chairs were developed in the mid-17th century and refined in the 18th, with sedan chairs or litters (A.K.A. chairs you carried) generally being used by the nobility prior to that. But there’s no way in Hell I’m not going to give McNully the independence he deserves, so I used a completely anachronistic design inspired by this antique wheelchair I found online, made circa around the 1840′s. Hey, this is a fantasy world anyway, so bleh. :P The flower detailing on the wheel is supposed to evoke an emblem I see being on Florence’s green and gold coat of arms (get it? “Florence?” “Flora?”). You might also notice that McNully has little Snitch-like “wing” frills on each of his buttons! XD

Another fun thing I learned while doing research -- although cloaks were often worn for warmth during the medieval period and beyond, in England during the Elizabethan era, their use was actually actively discouraged and even prohibited, as they were associated with criminals and rebels! Therefore it was common for a lot of English noblemen and women to wear thicker clothing made of wool and accessories like muffs, gloves, and even jackets for warmth instead. I tried very, very hard to find historically accurate examples of period-worthy jackets and capes for women around the time of the Renaissance, and was very frustrated to find a lot of fantasy-esque costume pieces or historical clothing from later eras that were simply mislabeled -- but I did find one lovely recreation of a 16th century wool jacket, so that’s what I used as reference for Carewyn’s jacket in this sketch, though I personally imagine it as a dark red, so as to better blend with her burnt orange and beige servant’s uniform. Bill’s uniform is based off a real castle guard uniform from early 16th century France, though with a much simpler color palette (I see Royaume’s colors being blue and red). Like with McNully’s chair, there’s a crown on the chest of Bill’s uniform, which I see being on Royaume’s coat of arms (“royaume” is literally French for “kingdom”).

In her canon, Carewyn was born when Jacob was nine years old. Although in most of Carewyn and Jacob’s canon post-Portrait-Vault, they end up being only two years apart in age, that’s only because Jacob stopped aging while trapped in a Portrait for seven years. From Carewyn’s fifth year on, Jacob and Carewyn in canon therefore act much more like contemporaries, even though Jacob actually kind of ended up partially raising Carewyn alongside their mother Lane.

Previous part is here – whole tag is here – Katriona “KC” Cassiopeia belongs to @kc-needs-coffee and I hope you all enjoy! xoxo

x~x~x~x

Every day over the next week, Carewyn met Orion at the gate of the palace of Royaume, and the two would spend an hour or so together. Orion would ask her about life at the palace, Carewyn would playfully respond, and sooner or later, they’d end up getting diverted and talking about something else completely, whether the upcoming Winter Festival, the language of flowers, art, poetry, the meaning of life, music, fencing, or (after seeing a rather beautiful eagle flying overhead) what it might be like to fly. Carewyn honestly wasn’t entirely sure what Orion got out of their meetings besides entertainment, and naturally she couldn’t afford to indulge in such entertainment too long, when she had so much work to do around the castle and she still had to find out where Jacob was positioned. But she had to admit, with the King and Queen having invited Iris over to stay in one of the guest suites at the palace for the remainder of the month, Carewyn didn’t mind having an excuse to stay far away from her cousin. Lately Carewyn had actively planned her days so that she could clean the guest suites at teatime, when Iris would be in one of the foyers with the King, Queen, and Prince on the opposite side of the palace. She did not want a repeat of the other day, after all...particularly since she’d also need time to change out of the nicer, collared dresses she’d wear when spending time with Orion.

Orion, meanwhile, was of course getting a bit more than entertainment out of his and Carewyn’s meetings. Through speaking with Carewyn, he’d sussed out some very helpful information about Royaumanian culture, the dynamics within Royaume’s royal family, and both their and their country’s financial state. One day he told his closest confidantes at court, Skye and McNully, some of what he’d learned...but Skye didn’t react quite as favorably as Orion had expected.

“...I gave Lady Cromwell a copy of the sheet music for ‘No One is Alone’ last week -- you remember the song, of course? And from what I understand, Prince Henri and the castle staff have quite taken to it. Not that I’m surprised -- Carewyn has a very soothing voice. I’m sure she performed it very well. But the Prince listening to the words at all is a good sign -- I even asked Carewyn if the Prince enjoyed them, and she said she believed so. She also found their message meaningful...one of Florence’s best-loved anti-War songs, and one about looking through another’s eyes and forgiving past grievances, no less! That can only be a good sign, for Royaumanians to take heart in it. It surely must have been fate that Lady Cromwell and I collided at the market -- I had a feeling we were kindred spirits, when she came to my aid, but now I am most assured of it. I might hazard a guess that she wishes for peace just as much as I -- for the sake of her brother fighting in the field, yes, but also selflessly for the sake of others, not wishing to see any other person in pain...”

“She sounds like a perfect knight in shining armor,” said Skye, her voice oddly cutting.

Orion looked up at Skye, startled by her tone. Her arms were crossed over the chest of her faded blue linen dress.

“Anything else you want to tell us about the fair Lady Cromwell,” she said rather icily, “or are you actually ready to talk about how you plan to end this War?”

Orion blinked slowly. “...I thought that we were already discussing that.”

“Really?” scoffed Skye. “‘Cause it sounds to me like you were busy gushing over your new conquest.”

“Conquest?” Orion repeated. His confused tone then melted into something more soothing and indulgent, “Oh -- no, Skye...you misunderstand me. I have no interest in courting Carewyn -- she’s just my contact point, with the palace.”

Skye gave a very loud, disbelieving snort. “Ha! Right, of course she is -- that’s why you can’t stop gushing about ‘Carewyn this’ and ‘Lady Cromwell that.’”

“Skye has a point, Orion,” said McNully, though his voice was a lot less confrontational. If anything he sounded almost sheepish. “I mean, about 85% of your report was about Lady Cromwell. You used her name over ten times just in the span of a minute.”

Amazingly Orion’s calm, hard-to-read expression didn’t crack. His hands clasped lightly in front of him.

“Lady Cromwell plays an essential part in this strategy. I’m an outsider looking in, without her insight -- a ship sailing blindly, without the light from a lighthouse to give me direction.”

“A lighthouse for a lost ship -- oh yeah, those sound like the words of someone who’s focusing on winning a war and not swooning over a pretty face,” said Skye scathingly. “Maybe instead of always running off and playing dress-up, you could actually bother to do your duty and go help fight on the battlefield for once!”

Orion’s lips came together tightly, but it didn’t make his expression any less composed. McNully shot Skye an uncomfortable, faintly disapproving look.

“Easy, Skye,” he murmured. “You know Orion -- ”

But Skye didn’t seem to hear McNully. Instead she tore into Orion.

“Face it, Orion -- you just like being treated like a commoner again and being able to make believe that you don’t have any responsibilities or worries...well, guess what? You’re not a commoner anymore! You’re the Prince of Florence -- you reckon little Miss Knight-in-Shining-Armor would take kindly to that, when she finds out?”

Orion’s dark eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly upon Skye’s face.

“Carewyn’s not an unreasonable woman,” he said softly. “I’m certain she would understand the reason behind my secrecy.”

This, if anything, only seemed to make Skye madder.

“Of course she would,” she muttered sourly. “Little Lady Royaume can do no wrong in your eyes, can she?”

She turned on her heel and stormed out, leaving Orion feeling very resigned and confused. McNully gave a heavy sigh, before facing Orion with a more serious expression.

“She’s overreacting, as usual,” he said, “but she’s still 60% right. It’s risky enough for you to get this close to anyone right now, when your position as Crown Prince is threatened by the likes of Lord Malfoy. He’d frankly love to have something like that over you. But someone from Royaume? The granddaughter of one of the most powerful, wealthy, and feared noblemen in their country? Orion, that’s dangerous.”

Orion leaned his hands on the table, looking down at the map of Florence and Royaume laid out on top of it.

“McNully, I assure you...my objective has not changed,” he said very levelly. “Everything I have done is for Florence -- for peace and balance. I admit, Lady Cromwell is a fascinating woman, and certainly one to be admired...but I spend time with her to gather intelligence I can obtain nowhere else. That is all.”

McNully looked doubtful, but didn’t directly address it. Instead he said, “I understand she’s your eyes and ears inside the palace, and the intelligence you’re getting is valuable...but don’t forget, she isn’t on your team. She’s on Royaume’s. And right now, Royaume is kicking our tail out there, on the battlefield.”

Orion’s dark eyes drifted away from the table as McNully leaned his arms on the table himself.

“It’s getting bad again,” he murmured very seriously. “I know you said the palace of Royaume’s strapped for funds, but somehow or another, they’ve scrounged up enough to get more cannons, and their troops have been moving them around every couple of hours so that our men never know where they’re going to be firing from next. It’s been very effective. Whoever’s been giving Royaume’s King and Queen military strategy lately, they’re a bloody genius.”

McNully clearly was irritated about this, given the flash that shot through his narrowed eyes.

“Your father sent me a request for a counter-strategy this morning. You know it’s likely if the strategy isn’t one he can execute on his own, he may ask both you and me to join him there, on the front lines.”

Orion did not respond. His expression was as unreadable as ever, but there was something oddly detached and avoidant in his posture.

“I know you don’t want that, and you know I have faith in you,” said McNully, “but your strategy is a slow burn, Orion. It requires both patience and time...and we might not end up having as much of those as you think.”

Once again, Orion chose not to answer. McNully sighed again.

“You know I’ll be right behind you in a coach, if you need me,” he said tiredly. “Just...mind that you use your head as well as your heart, all right?”

Orion threw on his black traveling cloak and headed back to Royaume not long after, hoping to meet up with Carewyn for an evening stroll. There was a notable chill in the air -- if it got much colder, he thought that any rain might instead come down as sleet or maybe even snow.

When Orion arrived at the gate, however, he was met not by Carewyn, but by KC. She was dressed in a high-necked gown made of black velvet and holding a leather-bound book and a stack of parchment in her arms.

Orion tilted his head slightly to glance at the piece of parchment on the top of the stack, which had several “X’s” scattered over an oddly familiar map.

“Plans to bury some pirate treasure?” he asked pleasantly.

KC gave a lightly amused snort. “No, just military plans.”

Her lightly freckled face then grew a bit more serious. “I guess you’re here for Carewyn?”

Orion had been ready to ask more about the military plans KC was holding, but decided not to circle back to it when she changed the subject.

“Yes. Has she been detained?”

“I guess so...” said KC. Her lips twisted into a concerned frown as she looked out at the darkening sky.

Orion’s eyebrows knit together over his eyes slightly. “You seem concerned.”

KC bit her lip. “Mm...it’s just...well, you see, one of the royal carriages broke down earlier today, when the Queen was riding through the country with Lady Yaxley.”

Orion raised his eyebrows. “Lady Iris Yaxley, do you mean? Carewyn’s cousin?”

“Yes. No one was badly hurt, fortunately, but the Queen, Lady Iris, and the coachman and footman were forced to ride the horses back and leave the carriage behind. When they got back, they asked the royal carpenter, Charlie Weasley, to go fix it. Charlie said that he probably wouldn’t have the proper tools to fix it here at the castle, so Carewyn offered to ride out with him, so that their horses could drag the coach together to the Weasley family cottage, about forty minutes away. The problem is,” she said with a deepening frown, “they left over two hours ago, and they’re still not back yet. Bill headed out after them on his own horse not long before you got here...he’s Charlie’s brother, so he knows the route they would’ve taken...”

Orion’s dark eyes had narrowed significantly.

“Which road did Sir Weasley take after them?” he asked, his calm voice nonetheless touched with the faintest edge.

KC pointed. “Northwest -- toward the mountains.”

Orion nodded. “Thank you.”

And with this, he turned on his heel and rushed back toward where he thought he might find McNully’s coach. He needed to borrow a horse.

Setting one of the black horses free of the black coach, Orion rode off toward the mountains, his slightly-too-long dark hair flapping freely behind him. The road was well-marked, but it soon veered off into dense woods as it migrated up toward the mountains. Orion had never gone so far west into Royaume before, let alone far from Florence before. Despite himself, he had to acknowledge the beauty of the landscape. The views of the castle below were breathtaking -- it looked as tiny as a toy, and yet the infinite glass windows made it sparkle like some diamond-like beacon in the darkening sky. He wondered if his own palace in Florence looked so beautiful to others, at a distance. As much as he himself hadn’t been raised a prince, it was difficult for him to look at his own palace as anything other than a cage.

As he went further uphill and the sky darkened, it also grew colder. Orion was starting to see his own breath on the air. He thought of Carewyn alone in the cold, perhaps hurt, and had to take several deep breaths to sooth his nerves. He was never in a right state, when he let his thoughts run too wild or his fears chatter too loudly.

Finally Orion caught sight of two familiar ginger-headed men, standing by an overturned coach, covered in mud and missing one of its back wheels. One of the men was the tall, freckled castle guard from the other day who Carewyn called Bill, dressed in his high-collared blue and red patterned uniform tunic and matching white feathered, blue-velvet hat -- the other was much stockier, but no less freckled, dressed in a burgundy-colored tunic and loose brown pants and boots, and he wore his ginger hair in a ponytail not unlike Orion’s when he was at court. When Orion approached them, Bill immediately reacted with suspicion -- Orion explained what KC had told him and asked where Carewyn was, and was incredibly startled to hear her voice coming from over the edge of the cliff.

“I’m down here!”

Orion couldn’t help but feel a flash of concern. He raced over as if to look over the edge, but Charlie lashed out an arm in front of the taller man to stop him.

“Uh, I wouldn’t look over if I were you, mate,” he said, having trouble biting back his laughter despite himself.

He pointed at the broken carriage. Hanging over one of the doors was what looked like the burnt orange and beige skirt of a dress and several wool petticoats.

Orion blinked a few times in great surprise, his tanned cheeks darkening with a faint blush. Bill, however, reacted with anxiety.

“Carewyn!” he shouted over the ravine. “Are you in your underwear down there!?”

“Ugh -- well, I couldn’t very well climb down into this briar patch and wrench this wheel loose in my dress, could I?” Carewyn called back up rather haughtily. “At least my bloomers are slightly akin to the sorts of trousers you all wear.”

“You’ll catch a death of cold out here!” said Bill.

“I’m all right,” Carewyn reassured him. “Ulk -- ugh -- I have the wool jacket Andre made for me on...”

Charlie took a step forward, his eyes moved up toward the darkening sky pointedly so as not to look over the edge as he called down,

“Bill’s right, though, Carewyn -- it’s getting colder by the minute...and it’s getting dark too. Are you sure you can lift that thing up and over all by yourself?”

“Ugh...I admit, it’s a bit difficult!” she called back. “But I think I can manage.”

Recalling Carewyn’s blatant refusal of help in retrieving her horse, Orion -- still fighting back a slight blush -- called over the ravine himself.

“We do not question your capabilities, Carewyn,” he said patiently, “but would you like our help?”

“Ugh -- don’t be silly,” said Carewyn, sounding faintly haughty. “You, Charlie, and Bill would break your necks, climbing down here. And I’m still in my undergarments -- I have no interest in anyone seeing me prance around without proper clothes on, thank you.”

“It’s no use,” Charlie muttered under his breath, “I’ve tried to offer her help for the last hour, but she keeps putting me off, saying she’s fine. I don’t get why she feels like she has to do everything by herself...”

“Probably because she’s always had to, Charlie,” said Bill quietly. His voice betrayed a lot of sympathy and sadness as he exhaled through his nose.

Orion’s black eyes deepened with some compassion for Bill as he called back over the ravine to Carewyn,

“Your points are well made, my lady...but we’d still like to help you.”

“Ugh -- you can help me by leaving me my dignity and not looking over while I’m only half-dressed...ack...”

“Would you accept us doing more than that?”

“Urgh -- I am...sorry to have made you and Bill come out all this way -- but I’m all right, really.”

Bill glanced at Orion out the side of his eye, and then back at the cliff. Despite his distrust of the man, the eldest Weasley was sort of glad he wasn’t the only one who disliked how reticent Carewyn was to accept help.

“You don’t need to apologize,” he said earnestly. “I was -- we were worried about you, Carewyn. You and Charlie.”

He and Orion glanced at each other. Bill wished the other man’s expression wasn’t so hard to read. The castle guard tried to twist his uncomfortable frown into a smile that Carewyn would hopefully be able to hear over the edge of the cliff.

“Come on...let’s get you and that wheel up and over so you can get back into your dress.”

There was a silence. Then Carewyn said a bit more quietly,

“...You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Wha -- oh, come off it, Carewyn!” said Charlie exasperatedly. “To hell we do! You think I was mucking about, calling you my pal and saying I needed to figure out a nickname for you? Now let us help you, or I’ll consider making that nickname an irritating one!”

There was another silence. Then Carewyn sighed very loudly and tiredly, and Orion couldn’t help but grin, because he could tell she’d finally given in.

“Oh, all right,” she said begrudgingly. “But I don’t really know how you’re going to help, when you can’t look at me.”

Orion closed his eyes.

“Describe your surroundings, Carewyn,” he said. “Paint a picture for me, with your words.”

“...Well, I’ve gotten the wheel out of the briar patch. I’m trying to roll it back up, but it’s as large as me, and the downward slope and the ice is making it difficult. Plus the wheel isn’t in great shape -- all of its spokes are broken, so there isn’t much for me to push up on, while rolling it uphill.”

“I would’ve told her to just forget it, but it’d be much easier for me to carve a new wheel if I have framework from the old one,” Charlie explained. “I’m already going to have to make the new spokes and hubcap completely out of wood instead of using any gold or metalwork, but it’s still going to take a lot of time...even more so if the old wheel framework can’t be saved...”

Orion considered the matter, visualizing the set-up down below on the inside of his eyelids. “...What’s left of the wheel...is it made of metal or wood?”

“Wood...but there seems to be some sort of metal lining around the rim, held on by nails.”

“That’d be for durability, I reckon,” said Charlie. “Wood alone would get chaffed badly on the ground, moving in a constant circle down cobblestones or over anything rocky.”

Orion opened his eyes and looked over the broken coach. His gaze lingered on the thick leather straps coming off of the front that no doubt would’ve attached it to their horses. Then he abruptly got up, rushing over to undo the straps from the carriage.

“What are you doing?” said Bill, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Orion quickly knotted the long, thick leather straps together with several complex-looking and strong knots.

“Carewyn,” he called over very calmly, “I’m going to lower this down to you -- use the buckle and loop it securely around the inside rim of the wheel, so that it’s tight. Give it a light tug when it’s secure.”

He blindly tossed one end of the rope made out of leather straps over the edge of the cliff. After a minute, he felt a light tug at the end.

“Gentlemen,” Orion murmured to the Weasleys, “I’ll need you to hold this, for just a moment. Carewyn,” he added, as Charlie and Bill both grabbed the end of the makeshift rope and he let go, “I’m going to need you to step onto the wheel yourself and hold on.”

“What?” said Carewyn. “Orion, you can’t lift both me and the wheel -- it’s far too much! I’ll climb up and out myself -- ”

“Not to worry, my lady -- none of us will be doing the lifting,” said Orion serenely.

He led both his black horse and Bill’s chestnut horse over by their reins, and -- taking the makeshift rope from Bill and Charlie again -- he looped the end under the straps of both his and Bill’s saddles. He gave several tugs at all of the connections to make sure they were tight and secure before mounting his horse.

“Sir Weasley, if you would assist me.”

Catching onto Orion’s idea at last, Bill rushed forward so he could jump up onto his own horse.

“Mr. Weasley, you may want to have your hands ready to help Carewyn climb out when she gets close to the top,” said Orion over his shoulder. “Sir Weasley, together now.”

With a lot of effort and strain, the two horses were able to lift Carewyn and the broken wheel up and out of the ravine. Once Carewyn was out, all three men averted their eyes so she could put her dress back on. Once she was suitably redressed in her orange-and-beige dress, snood, and dark scarlet wool jacket, she, Bill, and Orion helped Charlie secure some makeshift posts he’d carved out of some nearby tree branches under the broken coach so that their four horses could lift it up off the ground and help support it without its second back wheel. Then the four hobbled the coach up the mountain the rest of the way to the Weasley family cottage.

The home of the Weasley family, affectionately nicknamed “the Burrow,” was built up against the side of a hill. Attached to the house was a large farm with sprawling pastures and short, rustic wooden fences. Its roof had clearly been patched up multiple times over the years with whatever kind of wood was on hand, making it resemble a patchwork quilt.

When the group arrived, Bill and Charlie’s youngest sibling and only sister Ginny immediately ran out to greet them -- she’d seen them coming up over the horizon and was beyond thrilled to see that it was her eldest brothers. Bill and Charlie’s teenage brothers Percy, Fred, George, and Ron soon followed along after. Fred and George -- who were identical twins -- were quick to crow that Charlie had brought them an early birthday present (namely, the coach), and Percy scolded them that clearly it was for work and they should let it alone. Orion and Carewyn ended up staying back at a distance, both faintly baffled by the amount of warmth and noise emanating from the seven siblings as they chattered amongst themselves, constantly stepping on each other’s feet and interrupting what everyone else was saying. Neither of them had ever encountered a family quite like this before. When Bill and Charlie’s parents, Arthur and Molly Weasley, emerged from the house, however, Molly very quickly bustled every last one of them inside, including Orion and Carewyn.

“In you go, the lot of you,” she said in a forceful, but very warm tone of voice. “You all look like you need some supper-- ”

“Oh -- no, Mrs. Weasley,” said Carewyn very quickly, “I couldn’t impose -- ”

“Nonsense, dear!” said Molly, as she took Carewyn’s hands and led her inside. “Why, you’re positively freezing! To think, you came all the way out here without a proper muff for your hands...”

“I had to help Charlie with the carriage,” Carewyn said, her eyes drawn away awkwardly rather than looking at Molly, “I couldn’t hope to have my hands free, using a muff...”

“Then both of you should come inside and get warm,” said Arthur, startling Orion with an amiable clap on the back. “Any friend of Bill and Charlie’s is a friend of our family.”

Carewyn had never been the subject of such coddling and generosity before in her life. Her mother had always taught her to treat people with respect and compassion, of course, but she had been a soft-spoken and understated person, and their family life had always been very quiet. And of course at the Cromwell estate, it had been less modest and quiet, but far less affectionate as well. Never had she ever visited such a loud, crowded, and faintly uncomfortable place that still nonetheless felt like a home, full of warmth and love.

Even Orion found himself feeling a bit unsettled by the Weasley family’s overwhelming hospitality. He’d been in plenty of unruly, crowded, and loud settings like this before -- but none of them had ever been quite this...well, jovial. It made it so that Orion yearned for peace, quiet, and returned distance, and yet also couldn’t help but marvel at the positive vibes that rippled off of this family and how much they could give, despite clearly having so little. When dinner was served, Orion had to politely decline a bowl of beef stew because he didn’t eat meat, and Molly Weasley immediately handed the bowl off to Ron so she could set about making Orion his own plate, piled high with cheesy mashed potatoes, sauteed mushrooms, and roasted cauliflower seasoned with garlic and chives.

The Weasley family and their guests sat in an uncomfortable, messy half-circle around the large brick fireplace, laughing and talking as they ate. After supper came the dessert of hot, fresh apple dumplings, and after dessert came some hot tea and scones. After all, said Molly Weasley, having guests over was a rare treat, so they were going to celebrate appropriately. Neither Carewyn nor Orion could remember ever having felt so full in all their lives.

As everyone enjoyed their scones and tea, stories and songs were swapped around the fire. At one point in the evening, twelve-year-old Ginny -- who was perfectly thrilled to have another girl around, for a change -- begged Carewyn to sing for them. Apparently Bill had told his family all about her lovely voice. So, with some encouragement from Charlie, Arthur, and Molly, Carewyn bit back a broad, amused grin, took a deep breath, and started to sing.

“Mother cannot guide you...now you’re on your own.

Only me beside you -- still, you’re not alone...”

Orion had thought to himself that Carewyn must have done the song from his youth proper justice while singing for the Prince, but hearing her sing it in person, seeing her smile at him and her eyes sparkle as she did so...it was a completely different matter. As before, Orion felt all of the tension in his shoulders ebb off of him, as easily as dirt was washed away in warm water. He bowed his head and closed his eyes, tilting his head a bit so that he could hear her better, as his breathing and heart rate slowed. Even with his eyes closed, he could hear a smile in every word Carewyn sang...even when she likely wasn’t smiling at all, he thought. How could she be smiling, when lines like “sometimes people leave you half-way through the wood” and “people make mistakes -- fathers, mothers” rang with such emotion and pain? Was that pain visible on her face? Orion thought not, given Carewyn’s sense of grace and composure...but he heard it, all the same. He felt it -- her heart, aching with a kind of deep, blazing empathy Orion had never encountered in anyone else before.

When Carewyn came to the end of the song, Orion opened his eyes at last. The Weasleys all clapped, delighted, but he barely heard them as he turned to Carewyn.

“...That was remarkable,” he murmured.

Carewyn smiled. “I’m glad you think I did it justice.”

“Mm,” said Orion. “I’ve...never heard anyone drown like that, before.”

Carewyn couldn’t bite back a laugh. “Perhaps I didn’t do it justice then, if I sounded like I was drowning...”

“You were drowning in the words’ meaning,” corrected Orion. “Enveloping and submerging yourself in them -- allowing them to pull you in and take your breath away.”

He smiled, his black eyes very soft upon Carewyn’s face.

“It was...very moving.”

Molly’s face spread into an indulgent smile as she reached forward and patted Carewyn’s hand. “It was absolutely beautiful, dear.”

“Orion’s right, Carewyn,” agreed Arthur. “Your feelings really came through. I could tell the words mean something to you.”

Carewyn offered a polite smile, even as her eyes drifted away. “...I suppose they do.”

“It sounds like a lullaby, sort of,” mused Ron. “Even if it talks about your mother not being around.”

Ginny tilted her head toward Carewyn, Ron’s words prompting concern.

“...Do you not have a mother, Carewyn?”

The rest of the family went very quiet -- some like Percy shot Ginny warning looks, while others like Molly and Ron couldn’t help but glance at Carewyn in similar concern.

Carewyn’s gaze had drifted off onto the fire. Although she was turned away and her face was stoic, however, Orion could see her eyes rippling like turbulent ocean water, before she closed them solemnly.

“...I had one,” she answered softly at last. “She died when I was twelve.”

“Was she sick?” asked Ron, very hesitantly.

Carewyn bowed her head and gave a single, silent nod. Everyone in the room knew what that meant. The Plague had swept through both Royaume and Florence several times, over the span of the War -- one of the worst years was about nine years ago now...probably the same year Carewyn had lost her mother.

Orion’s black eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly upon her face. Molly looked like she wanted to envelop Carewyn in the biggest hug and was only holding back the urge because of her husband’s tight, reassuring squeeze to her hand.

“Oh, you poor dear,” she murmured.

Carewyn raised her head at last, her expression once again touched by a small, resilient, pretty smile.

“It’s all right,” she said gently, her eyes only briefly grazing each of the Weasleys’ faces. “I’ll always miss my mother...but I’m getting along all right. And I still have Jacob.”

“Your brother?” asked Percy, and Carewyn nodded.

“He left for War the same day he and I moved in with our grandfather,” Carewyn explained.

“Your brother must be quite a bit older than you, then,” said Orion.

Carewyn glanced at Orion out the side of her eye, smiling slightly. “Nine years older, yes. You know...you actually remind me of him, a bit.”

Orion raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

Carewyn was forced to stifle a giggle behind her hand. “Jacob is also the sort to do things in his own clever way. Only he’s a lot more aggressive than you -- and more talkative, and arrogant, and overprotective...”

“And uglier,” inserted Fred.

“And smellier,” added George.

“With a long crooked nose and ears like a bat’s.”

The younger Weasley siblings were all laughing now. Carewyn had to cover her mouth to stifle her giggling.

“No!” she choked. “I don’t mean it like that! He’s wonderful, really. He’s just...well, an absolute idiot about how to interact with other people. He’s completely brilliant, mind you -- he could give you whole lectures about anything from geography to mathematics to physics...but coming up with spontaneous gifts for no occasion at all, just based on someone’s interests? He’d need some prodding, to do something like that.”

She smiled at Orion, who couldn’t help but grin fully in return.

“It was truly nothing at all, Carewyn,” he said. “With your love of music, it felt like that song would be something you would appreciate.”

Arthur glanced at Orion curiously. “Where is that song from, Orion? I’ve never heard it before.”

“I learned it as a boy,” Orion answered. “I would hear it sung outside the window of the workhouse, sometimes.”

Molly looked very troubled. “Workhouse? Orion dear, you don’t mean to say you grew up in one of those terrible places?”

Orion felt Carewyn’s gaze on him. When he looked back at her, her almond-shaped blue eyes were rippling with concern as well, though much gentler and more empathetic than Molly’s. He tried to offer her a smile.

“Let’s just say the words spoke to me as well, at the time,” he said lightly. “Not just to me, either...all of the boys there, one way or another, were where they were because of other people’s ‘terrible mistakes.’”

Orion’s gaze drifted down to his own hands as he lightly clasped them in his lap.

“...The War doesn’t touch you the same way here, but...the closer you are to Florence...the more the reality of it hits you in the face, every day. Even when you’re not on the battlefield itself -- even when you’re just at the border -- you, and the ones you care for, run the risk of getting caught in the crossfire. And on the border of Florence and Royaume...in those towns where it’s hard to tell where one country starts and another begins...tensions are like gunpowder. One spark from the tiniest match can set it ablaze -- can make everything implode, and force you to start all over again.”

His face was unreadable, but his black eyes were endless, rippling with the recollection of the fire and smoke -- the red and blue colors of Royaume, on the saddles of horses -- the life leaving his mother’s eyes -- his own heavy, terrified hyperventilating...

He closed his eyes and took several very deep, measured breaths before continuing.

“In such a place...one can find people desperate enough to want to lash out at others, to avenge their pain,” said Orion solemnly. “But there was one sweet old woman who owned a flower and herb shop near the workhouse. She’d had to rebuild her establishment several times over the years, and from what I understand, she finally had to leave town not long after I did...but every time she caught wind that the army was coming to town, looking for new recruits...she’d sing the song just loudly enough that we boys could hear it through our window.”

He absently played with the crudely carved circular charm on the cord around his neck in one hand.

“And although there were those who still enlisted afterwards...many others did not.”

Carewyn’s eyes widened.

“‘While we’re seeing our side,’ ” she sang again, more softly, “‘maybe we forgot...they are not alone. No one is alone.’ ”

Orion’s lips spread into a smile as he looked at Carewyn, his black eyes rippling gently as he nodded.

“So it’s against the War, then,” murmured Charlie. He glanced at his parents, who both looked concerned.

“Did that woman with the flower shop give you that?” asked Ginny curiously, indicating the charm around Orion’s neck.

“Yes,” said Orion. “She gave it to me one night when I tried to run away, to soothe my nerves. Its effects wore off by the next morning, but I’ve never really had the heart to throw it out.”

Percy sputtered, looking very pale. “Th-then she was a witch?”

“Whoa,” said Fred and George, looking almost too eager.

“Did she turn all the army into pigs?” asked George.

“Did she lure you in and try to cook you in a soup?” said Fred.

Orion smiled indulgently. “Of course not -- ”

“Well, thank Heavens for that!” said Molly, shooting the twins a very reproachful look. “Magic isn’t something to make fun of, you two -- it’s frankly a wonder you weren’t hurt, dear...”

Orion frowned. “There was no danger, Madam Weasley, I assure you.”

“No danger! Orion,” Molly scolded him indulgently, “I applaud your courage...but nature has its own way of things, and any magic that twists it out of shape is more dangerous than it’s worth.”

To the Weasley family’s surprise, Carewyn actually spoke up.

“Mrs. Weasley, men tend fields, plant seeds, domesticate horses and dogs...treat illnesses and injuries...cut hair and wear makeup and put on heeled shoes to make ourselves appear taller. Would that not also be twisting nature’s intent?”

Molly actually faltered somewhat. “Well, yes, but...that’s very different from magic, Carewyn! Magic is...well, it’s wild. Uncontrollable.”

“It’s untamed chaos,” said Arthur more levelly than his wife. “A kind that’s done a lot more harm than good.”

“But it still can be used for good,” said Carewyn very firmly. “And if it has that potential, why must we treat it as though it and all of its users are inherently reprehensible? If magic can be used to save lives, or heal the sick, or even just calm a scared boy down after something horrible...”

She glanced at Orion out the side of her eye.

“...Then it seems to be like any other weapon or tool, or even any other person -- something that could protect or hurt.”

Orion felt like his heart was being flooded with warmth, and his entire expression melted with pride and something like affection as he stared at Carewyn.

She truly is a woman to be admired. The memory of Skye’s irritation and McNully’s warning rippled over Orion’s mind and he found himself faltering. Admire...yes. Anyone could grow to admire such a woman, couldn’t they? To respect and esteem her...to...grow an attachment, to her... Even I? Could I...?

The Weasleys exchanged uncertain looks amongst themselves.

“Come to think of it,” said Ron thoughtfully, “wasn’t there that old myth about fairy godmothers who grant you wishes?”

Fred brought an arm roughly around his younger brother’s neck and put him in a rough choke hold. “Aww, ickle Ronnie wanting a pwetty new dress?”

“‘Oh fairy godmother, I just gotta have a new dress for the Winter Festival!’” said George in a high-pitched squeal.

“Geroff!” growled Ron, as he pulled free.

“Oh, but that would be fun!” sighed Ginny. “Dancing at the Winter Festival, in the prettiest dress you’ve ever seen...you’re going to the Festival, aren’t you, Carewyn?”

“Probably not, Ginny,” said Carewyn gently, “I’ve got so much work to do...”

“Oh, but you have to!” whined Ginny. “The Festival’s tradition! Right, Orion?”

“So I’ve heard,” Orion said modestly, “but I’m afraid I’ve never attended a Winter Festival either.”

“What?!” said all of the Weasley children except Bill in thoroughly aghast unison.

“It’s the biggest celebration of the entire year -- ”

“Everybody in town will be there -- ”

“ -- well, aside from the noble tarts -- ”

“ -- but hey, who needs them?”

“Everybody makes the best mince pies and hot apple cider -- ”

“There’s dancing and singing and games and gift-giving -- ”

“You just can’t miss it -- ”

Before long, they’d completely gotten off the topic of magic all together, so the Weasleys could tell Orion all about the Winter Festival. Carewyn took the opportunity to start carrying dishes into the kitchen so that she could help Molly clean up. While she did so, Bill pulled her aside.

“Carewyn...can I talk to you? Alone?”

Carewyn blinked, but nonetheless put down the dishes she was carrying and followed Bill off into a secluded corner.

“What’s wrong?” she asked in concern.

Bill bit the inside of his lip, his brown eyes drifting over in the direction of the fireplace where the rest of his family was sitting with Orion.

“Carewyn,” he said slowly, “who is that man, really?”

Carewyn’s eyebrows knit together. Bill ran a hand over the undone collar of his tunic absently.

“He’s hiding something, I know it. And I’m sure you see it too. He dodges questions he doesn’t want to answer, and as much as he’s even told us tonight about himself, he never gives important details. He lived near the border, but he didn’t mention what town he’s from. He lived in a workhouse, presumably after losing his parents, but he never said what he lost them to.”

“Those things might not be easy for him to talk about, Bill,” Carewyn said softly.

“Yes,” said Bill in a bracing voice, “but he also hopped the walls of the palace, completely ignorant of how tight royal security is and why, has enough time to chase after you most every day, and gets paints from people he can’t identify and learns songs from people who, from the sound of things, practice witchcraft.”

Bill crossed his arms. He clearly was trying to be considerate to Carewyn’s feelings, but couldn’t hold back his concerns.

“Look, I...I understand you like the man. And I understand why -- Ginny and the others seem to have taken to him pretty well, too. But there’s no reason for someone to hold back that many secrets, unless they’re up to no good. He could be a cad, or a criminal, or maybe even something worse. Judging by his stance on magic, he could even be a magician himself...”

His brown eyes narrowed slightly upon Carewyn’s face.

“I’m just...worried about you, that’s all,” he said lowly.

Carewyn considered Bill for a long moment. Then, reaching out a hand, she gently took hold of Bill’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“Bill...I understand how you feel. And I’m grateful, truly grateful, for your caring. I hardly deserve it, and it...it means a lot to me.”

Bill frowned deeply, ready to say something, but Carewyn cut him off.

“But believe me when I say that people don’t just keep secrets because they mean to do harm. Sometimes -- for some people -- they’ve had to learn to hide themselves and shield their hearts...so much so that even when they encounter good people, it’s hard for them to let their guard down. Sometimes they’ve known so much pain that, even though they’re kind people, they’ve numbed themselves to a degree, just to protect themselves. Lied so much...that it becomes second-nature. Or worse, lie because they don’t know who they can really trust...because so many people have hurt them that they don’t know what trust even feels like anymore.”

Bill’s expression lost some of its edge, though it still looked wary.

“...And if he is a magic user?”

“Then he’s one of the good ones,” said Carewyn firmly.

Bill still looked a bit unsure. Carewyn squeezed his shoulder a bit more tightly, her eyes resting there instead of on his face.

“Bill, my brother is only alive, thanks to magic.”

Bill was startled.

“The Plague swept through our whole house,” said Carewyn lowly. “First the landlord and his family -- then my mother...and then Jacob. We were living hand-to-mouth, and I didn’t have anyone else to go to...so I went to the Cromwell estate.”

Bill’s brown eyes became a little smaller, darkening with grim understanding.

“...You went to your grandfather.”

Carewyn nodded. “He disowned Mum long ago, but he was still our family, so I thought he might be willing to help us. He agreed to take Jacob and me in and nurse Jacob back to health, so long as we paid back his generosity. Grandfather then tracked down a witch who could cast a spell to save Jacob’s life.”

Bill’s eyebrows furrowed. “Lord Cromwell hired a -- ?”

“Do not repeat this, Bill!” Carewyn said very sharply and urgently. “To anyone, do you understand? No one.”

Her eyes then softened visibly, becoming grimmer and sadder.

“Jacob was dying. There was no other option.”

Bill looked like he was in pain, just hearing this second-hand. He swallowed, and then gave a nod.

“So that witch saved your brother’s life,” he said quietly.

Carewyn nodded, her eyes full of emotion despite the stoicism of her features.

“The spell she cast bound Jacob’s life to Grandfather’s will. Jacob was brought into the house on a stretcher just after dawn, and within a half-hour...he was up on his own two feet again.”

Carewyn closed her eyes. She could still remember Jacob’s blazing, relieved smile as he barreled down the stairs and threw his arms around her, cradling her like a baby.

“My Wyn -- my sweet Wyn -- ”

Not long after that, though...Jacob’s arms were yanked away -- all of him was yanked away -- held back by Blaise and Claire and Pearl’s husbands, who all had work to together just to restrain Jacob as he fought to reach her, screaming and raging like a mad man --

“WYN! NO! GET OFF OF ME -- WYN! I WON’T LET YOU -- CAREWYN!”

Carewyn opened her eyes, the soft longing fading from her face completely and leaving a much more stony expression behind.

Bill himself, however, looked more troubled than ever.

“You said your brother left for War the same day you and he arrived at the Cromwell estate,” he whispered shakily. “Do you mean that, right after saving your brother’s life...Lord Cromwell immediately sent him off to War -- all while knowing how few men return home alive?”

Carewyn’s lips came together tightly.

“Grandfather sent him to the front, so that Jacob could start paying back the debt I owed him,” she said, her voice very soft and oddly distant. “After all...a man who wouldn’t die, so long as he willed it...would make an excellent soldier.”

Bill looked horrified.

“Then...” he whispered, “...then Jacob’s only alive because your grandfather decides whether he lives or dies? You only know your brother’s still alive after so many years at war...because Lord Cromwell is bound to him through magic, and he’s holding his life over your head?”

Carewyn withdrew her hand from Bill’s shoulder and turned away.

“Carewyn...that’s monstrous!” said Bill, and he was unable to keep his voice from rising. “I didn’t even know magic could do something like that -- but -- but that’s nothing, compared to...”

He couldn’t restrain himself. He actually threw an arm around Carewyn and pulled her into a hug from behind. The small ginger-haired woman stiffened like a startled cat.

“Bill?”

Carewyn looked up at him -- were those tears, in his eyes?

“Have you...never told anyone else, about this?” Bill murmured.

Carewyn tried to turn around, her blue eyes welling up with regret and pain. “Bill...”

She brought a hand through his hair, trying to soothe him the way she used to for Jacob.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I -- I didn’t mean to upset you -- I only wanted to explain why I’m not scared of magic...please forgive me.”

Bill closed his eyes to try to hold back both his righteous anger and his tears.

“Forgive you?” he repeated in a choked voice. “For what, trusting me with the truth?”

“For making you worry unnecessarily,” Carewyn said forcefully, trying to ignore how uncomfortably her stomach was squirming.

Bill opened his eyes, looking both flabbergasted and more upset than ever. “Unnecessarily?”

He roughly grabbed both of Carewyn’s shoulders and forced her to look up at him.

“Now you listen here, Carewyn Cromwell,” he said, taking on the sort of tone he only ever used with his younger siblings when they were being rowdy, “you may get to decide if you want to interact with me or not, or rely on me or not, or accept my help or not. But you don’t get to decide whether I worry about you or not. And from here on out...”

Bill’s brown eyes were blazing with resolve.

“...I’m going to worry about you. Because I hate the thought of someone feeling like anybody else worrying about them is somehow a problem.”

Carewyn was left speechless.

Bill’s face broke into a broad smile through his tears. “Until your brother’s back from the War, Carey, I’ll be looking after you for him -- no arguments, no dismissals, no saying you’re fine on your own. Got it?”

Carewyn looked at Bill, perfectly stunned. Then her gaze fell away toward the floor.

“...It sounds like...I really don’t get a choice in the matter, then,” she whispered.

“Nope,” said Bill, grinning broadly.

Carewyn was unable to fight back the weak smile prickling at the sides of her lips, nor the emotion flooding her eyes, even as she kept her face turned away.

“...And I suppose ‘Carey’...is a suggestion of a nickname you plan to give Charlie, for me?”

Bill’s eyes sparkled fondly. “Well, every one of my siblings has a nickname, in case you haven’t noticed.”

[bigskydreaming]

@elfysparkles88​

#listen it's a universal problem#I love my mans Scott#everyone is always bagging on him WHY#Scott Summers#X-Men

Its because Scott Summers is inevitably compared and contrasted with those around him, and he has the great misfortune of running in the same circles as an all-star line up of like....just the absolutely most Ridiculous People to Ever Ridick.

We’re talking about a guy whose dad was abducted by aliens and from there went on to decide, welp, guess I gotta become a space pirate now, jaunty earring and all, no, shhh, shh, no, there are no alternatives, I gotta, no, I said no - SHUT IT, I SAID I GOTTA BE A SPACE PIRATE NOW ITS THE ONLY WAY. Oh btw, meet my fianceé. She’s an alien mercenary who is a little like a skunk but don’t call her that to her face or she’ll shoot you in yours. How’s that for swoonworthy, am I right, son?

We’re talking about a guy whose own son was a literal sixty year old Grumpy Old Man overburdened with world-weariness, wildly unnecessary shoulderpads and arthritic joints when Scott was barely hitting his third decade. With said son now randomly being a moody sixteen year old again, with a pet sentient sword he talks lovingly to, because apparently Nathan Summer’s take on teenage rebellion was to act out by being all LOL Fuck Time Travel Paradoxes and then rebelliously zooming around the space/time continuum while blasting a soundtrack of MCR probably, until he finally got a bead on his older self and shot himself in the face while being like “its not that I’m angry with you, I’m just disappointed” and look this is the part where your eyes are gonna wanna just glaze over so your brain can have a break, shhh, shh, don’t ask questions, just let it be, it happened, its a thing.

We’re talking about a guy whose brother rode a merry-go-round of “Am I a good guy this week or am I a bad guy because Reasons or sometimes Brainwashing or sometimes I Don’t Even Fucking Know, Look Don’t @ Me Bro, I Just Fucking Work Here, I’m Not In The Loop” for most of his twenties until dying in a fiery explosion only to inexplicably return years later as a coma patient who finally woke up one day and said “Whoa, just got back from tripping around the multiverse and boy do I have stories cuz apparently I’m the Nexus of All Realities, so hah, SUCK IT, big brother, and yes that is TOO a thing, shut up, LET ME HAVE THIS. Oh and also btw don’t spend a lot on your wedding gift for me and Lorna because I’m gonna leave her at the altar once I realize that I’m actually more in love with the random nurse lady who changed my bed pans while I was in a coma having a romantic rendezvouz with her in Paris in my brain courtesy of her psychic eight-year old kid trying to play matchmaker for her cuz like, she doesn’t date much apparently but its whatever, this is FINE, I have no objections. Ugh why are you looking at me like that Scott, no, I don’t need to “talk” with someone about everything I’ve ‘been through,’ ugh I’m HAPPY you asshole, god, why don’t you ever want me to just be HAPPY ugh you just have to control EVERYTHING with your over-bearing BS like “I am concerned your decision-making processes might be affected by all the people tampering with your decision-making processes over the years” like umm DID I ASK? No? I didn’t think so? YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD, SCOTT, UGH THAT DOES IT, IM RUNNING AWAY TO BE A SUPERVILLAIN AGAIN AND THIS TIME ITS TOTALLY YOUR FAULT, YOU’LL BE SORRY WHEN I CRY HAVOK AND LET LOOSE THE DOGS OF WAR THIS TIME FOR SURE, AND OMG FOR THE LAST TIME I KNOOOOOOW THAT’S NOT HOW ITS SPELLED, ITS ABOUT THE AESTHETIC SCOTT, ITS CALLED HAVING A SENSE OF STYLE, UGH, LET ME LIIIIIIIIIIIVE.”

We’re talking about a guy whose other little brother randomly showed up and started killing people one day being like “hahaha surprise, bet you all forgot about me, PS, I’m REALLY FUCKING MAD AT YOU ALL FOR FORGETTING ABOUT ME” because the world’s most powerful telepath made everyone forget about him and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day they all had once and this is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, this is normal. As is the way his newly discovered slash remembered slash resurrected slash recently returned from spending the last decade fucking around as a disembodied energy ghost on a rock up in Earth’s orbit little brother then decided the Earth just wasn’t big enough for the both of them, the both of them in this case meaning both him, singular, and his Angst, as a wholly separate and towering entity in its own right. So instead he fucked off to space and decided to conquer a vast alien empire and spend the next several years being their god-emperor or whatever until he got bored with that. And also he kinda sorta killed their dad for a bit but whatever, its fine, he got better, and then he also kinda sorta died for a bit himself but whatever, its fine, he got better, and there was that whole interstellar war between himself and the Inhumans but whatever that wasn’t even his FAULT, Scott, THEY STARTED IT, god, do you ever stop JUDGING ME AND MY LIFE CHOICES and PS I’m still mad at you for killing Xavier, you fucking asshole, not because you did it but because like, you KNOW I wanted to do it, I had a whole fucking villain monologue moment about it and everything, you were literally there, UGH WHY WON’T YOU LET ME HAVE NICE THINGS?!?! YOU ARE THE ENEMY OF FUN AND JOY AND HEY MAYBE YOU WERE THE REAL VILLAIN ALL ALONG, DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? HUH? MR. I’M THE BOSS, WAIT WHO’S THE BOSS? OH YEAH STILL ME, SCOTT, I’M THE BOSS, YOU GOTTA STOP BEING A SPACE EMPEROR GABE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T BE THE BOSS, ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO BE THE BOSS BECAUSE I’M THE BOSS AND I SAID SO AND YOU GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY OR I’LL TELL DAD.” 

And that’s not even getting into how we’re also talking about a guy who basically ended up divorcing his first wife and suing for sole custody on the grounds of “Well, your Honor, she tried to sacrifice our son on a literal demonic altar in order to summon Hell to Earth to destroy everything just to get back at me after I left her. Yes, your Honor, I understand that is in fact Asshole Behavior, but there were extenuating circumtances, you see, the woman I left her for was my first love before her who I thought was dead. And also, she was literally my wife before my wife was. No, I don’t mean I was married before Maddie, I mean Jean was kinda pretty much already Maddie before Maddie was Maddie. Its this whole clone thing. Look, I’m just saying it was a complicated situation and I know I have my part to play in it, but I still stand by my conviction that trying to sell out our entire planet and species to the legions of Hell while using the innocent blood of our ten month old as the Golden Ticket to the Chocolate Factory was still a little over the top and not really the right way to handle it either. Also, I contend that I can provide a better home environment at the moment than someone who is insisting on being addressed as The Goblin Queen because what even is that, honestly, Your Honor, and also, she also brainwashed my brother into trying to kill me on her behalf, which to be fair does happen about every other month anyway, but still, like. Dick move, you know?”

And we’re also talking about a guy whose second wife who was kinda sorta his first wife but only in that It Ain’t Bigamy If Its A Clone Thing way....like, I mean. Its kinda hard NOT to come across as the bland one in the relationship when your second wife occasionally moonlights as the AirBnb of choice for a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction who is pretty infamous for the ragers she hosts every time she pops into town for a visit, all smiles and (literal) sunbeams (of scorching lethality) and “Lol hey hot stuff, remember me?” As if someone who ate an alien civilization’s sun the last time she hit a Mood is like....really in danger of ever being “New phone, who dis?”ed. But that is neither here nor there, much like the sentients of Alpha Centauri Bumfuckville after she went all Goodnight Sun, Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Solar System on their corner of the galactic neighborhood, because.....tbh I don’t think she ever actually said “why” there. Its one of those things where if you don’t already KNOW why a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction has decided its nighty-night time for this particular zipcode.....like.....that’s not really something you just ASK, y’know? Its....tacky, probably. Also, low on the self-preservation instincts, probably.

Plus we’re talking about a guy whose second marriage to Yet Another Woman It Probably Should Have Registered As A Bad Idea To PIss Off Like This ended in like....so, okay, this was a bit more His Bad than even Round One was, courtesy of a “Groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Show-stopping” reinterpretation of what was up until this point te much more ambiguous and metaphorically named “Mental Affair” concept. Though it must be said, Scotty always has skewed a bit more towards the literal minded in his personal approach to things, so, y’know. That tracks. But regardless, the pattern remains consistent here, as once again, its not always easy to register on peoples’ radar as anything other than the Plus One when your newest paramour prides herself on being both the entire planning committee AND star attraction of Victoria’s Secret (assuming that said Secret is Secret Aims at World Domination) Presents: A Renaissance Faire. But in an evil and also kinky way. Except now with sixty percent less evil on account of how Emma’s reformed these days, but not a hundred percent less evil because she’s not like, REFORMED reformed, cuz that would be boring, eww, could you imagine, no, you couldn’t, because she won’t let you and she can do that, she’s that good at telepathy and that bad at boundaries. Still the same amount of kinky as before though, but like. That’s just about Strong Branding. After all, at the end of the day Emma Frost is above all else, a good businesswoman.

But yes, she is also a big fan of the Aesthetic, with that aesthetic being Her Whims On Steroids because like they say, go big or go home, and Emma Frost does not believe in going home when she can simply acquire your home instead. Hate the game, not the player. She didn’t make the rules, she just came to win. Point being, its hard to follow up an act like Jean-Who-Is-Sometimes-Phoenix-And-Sometimes-Dark-Phoenix-And-Oh-Hell-She-Cant-Even-Keep-Track-So-How-Could-Anyone-Else-Really, but say what you will about Emma’s wardrobe, she’s more concerned with clothing herself in unapologetic take no prisoners ambition, and as such, her being the follow-up to Scott’s epic romance with his childhood sweetheart turned literal cosmic embodiment of fire and passion, like.....this was never a big checkmark in the con side of a pro and con list for Emma. It was more like oh, yes, hello there, Challenge Absolutely Fucking Accepted.

Which, y’know, all the points to House Frost for showing spine and boy howdy, that’s a spine alright.....but at the same time, going head to head with someone who is classified as a galactic threat when people are deliberately low-balling her, like, for no other reason than you’re bored and your manicure appointment isn’t for another couple hours.....like that’s the kind of thing where it has to be pointed out that there were possibly alternative options worth considering somewhere in between ‘having no spine’ and ‘spiting cosmic entity who can kill you with her brain by stealing her man and saying come at me bro because like....my spine, let me show you it.”

But again, just to reiterate the premise here.....our thesis here today is that Scott Summers Gets a Bad Rap For Being Bland or Boring or Not Standing Out, But In Reality The Issue Is Just That All The People He Knows Are Truly Ridiculous People.

In other words, Scott Summers is no more the Everyman of the X-Men than any of his Truly Ridiculous Friends and Family.

Because an actual everyman would have bounced out of that madhouse way the fuck back in Chapter One: In Which Things Just Got Ridiculous.

Cut to Scott Summers, in contrast: *looks around, purses lips, weighs options* Nah. This is fine.

See also:

His daughter, who didn’t so much arrive after the traditional nine months of waiting and preparing for a bundle of bouncing baby joy but instead just like...plopped back into the past as a full grown woman hailing from a dystopian future she was hellbent on preventing by any means necessary, even if that means had Scott frantically shouting RACHEL NO as she screamed RACHEL YES and sprinted straight at someone like Selene (a villain who has survived 17,000 years of pissing people off and making enemies of actual, literal gods) while thinking “oh yeah, I got this.”

(To be fair, she probably DID have it, or would have, if Logan hadn’t chosen that moment of all moments to have his once-centennial contemplation of “Wait, what if....murder is...NOT good?” Never underestimate the daughter of a cosmic goddess.)

Or see also also:

Scott’s original classmates, including Doctor Hank “I’m not an over-archiever, I’m just stress-eating because its lunchtime and I’ve only revolutionized two whole fields of scientific study so far today,” McCoy, Warren “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I’m a billionaire, wait no, I’m just kidding don’t hate me at all hahaha I’m too sexy” Worthington III, and Bobby “I may look cute and unassuming and like my only priority in life is video games but sike, I too am a potentially cosmic level immortal being of nigh-unlimited power or at least I will be whenever I get around to tapping that potential like I’m currently tapping xy up down A + BBA like a boss, now shhh, don’t interrupt me while I’m kicking ass at Mario Kart I said I’ll GET TO THAT LATER, ugh, JEEZ, my priorities are FINE, Scott, like get off my back already, you’re not even my real dad” Drake.

In conclusion:

Scott Summers is valid, and there may be legions drinking his Hatorade, but make no mistake, its not that he’s Less Than, its that every single person in his social circle is just that damn Extra.

[wackygoofball]

Hey, I’d just like to thanks you for staying positive though these Braime angst times because almost all the other blogs I follow went cRAZY about him “leaving Bri for Cers” and your posts gave me new hope and reminded me of all the wonderful things that happened in that episode, so, thank you so much💗💕💕💗💕

Glad to hear it, anon!

People have their feelings, they are entitled to them, but so am I and I am a very happy customer right now because I am a thirsty bitch for drama. And we are getting it! JB being at the very center *all of a sudden* (*coughs* biggest romance of GoT/ASoIaF *coughs* *coughs*) of the relationship conflict front tells us so much more than having to feel the angst. It tells us to feel the HYPE.

They are finally where we all wanted to see them… I guess ever since Harrenhal??? One of the producers called it something along the lines of “the most reluctant romance in TV history” in his commentary on the Red Tent Scene back in season 6. And I think JB is still living up to that and it’s beautiful and dramatic and I friggin’ love it. They *are* reluctant, have been for so many seasons (books, respectively). Because they are so caught up in self-doubt and for Jaime in particular self-loathing, feeling unworthy of a good kind of life, the kind of life they wanted to have or grew to want to have, feeling unworthy of love and affection and fearing that it could never truly be reciprocated.

I could start crying at the sad beauty of this right now, but my tears can suck it because I am way too much in the HYPE.

Because yes, anon! We were given so much goodness. Brienne smiled so much. Jaime smiled so much! Can you remember the last time he smiled like that?! I mean, we are all hyped to finally see Brienne smile, but think about how often Jaime only ever had a smile to spare only for shit to hit the fan all over. He didn’t have a time to ever truly have a breather and just be happy and fool around with his brother, and he got that, and Brienne got that, too. And they shared that happiness. It was so heart-warming that I felt like Jaime, wanting to nibble off my shirt lol.

Their first time (albeit a wee bit shorter than I as a shipper would have loved it to be, but you know, wishful thinking is one thing, and the rest can be filled with smutty fanfic :) of which our wonderful fandom provides plenty!) was awesome-sauce. The glow, the tenderness, the hesitance, the awkwardness, there was a purity to this encounter that it still has me shooketh.

And even the angst-filled goodbye… LOOK AT THE GUY! LOOK AT HIS FACE! LOOK AT HIS BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, HANDSOME FUCKIN’ FACE! LOOK AT HOW HE BREAKS ON THE INSIDE SAYING THOSE THINGS JUST TO MAKE SURE SHE STAYS PUT!

BTW GIVE NIK ALL OF THE AWARDS! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! THAT GUY HAS A REPERTOIR OF EMOTIONS HE STUFFS INTO THREE SECOND BIGGER THAN THOSE OF SOME ACTORS HAVE IN THEIR ENTIRE CAREER! *waves fist in the air*

Sorry, had to get that off my chest. Back on topic:

Jaime has, ever since their roadtrip started, protected this woman. Nikolaj once commented about how Jaime sending Brienne out of King’s Landing back during the Oathkeeper episode was also fuelled by Jaime’s fear that Cersei may be on to something with Brienne after he saw her talk to Brienne and her walking off with a scared kind of expression (not knowing what truth bomb Cersei actually dropped on Brienne during the Purple Wedding aka that she loves him). The show changed the dress to an armor, a type of clothing literally meant to protect from bodily harm. He gave her Oathkeeper. And a squire to keep her company. Jaime has, at every step, tried to protect that woman to the best of his abilities within the constraints he found himself in. Do I believe that suddenly changed? Not for a fuckin’ second. This is Jaime Lannister as he lives and thrives. That guy is as hellbent on protecting the people he loves as Brienne is. Brienne is part of that circle, so of course he protects her, even if that means hurting her.

That is Jaime’s modus operandi alongside looking way too hot for me to handle. Or for him to handle, as last episode proved.

And just never forget him rubbing his thumb against her wrist. That shit still has me weak and whimpering at the beauty of it. That was just... poetic cinema!

The whole scene was a thing of beauty with the visual callbacks to Ned/Cat (arguably one of the few considerably healthy, longterm and strong relationships the entire series has ever seen, despite the fact that Ned was a douche sometimes - more often than not - and kept things from her that clearly made her feel shitty but that’s a topic for another day).

Brienne appearing in a robe that made her look lady-like and womanly and like a fuckin’ goddess rather than having thrown on breeches and a tunic or whatever! It made it all the more heartbreaking to have her feel that way while dressed that way because it just highlighted her vulnerability, but the VISUAL IS AMAZING AND THE NON-VERBAL CLUES THAT GIVES ARE OFF THE CHARTS!!!

Someone made that post and I am totally plagiarising this: this scene of her cupping his cheeks and him holding her wrist was a fuckin’ RENAISSANCE PAINTING. And JB is about to be REBORN. I am telling you!

Nik and Gwen acting the living shit out of themselves in that scene, giving us the rawest of emotions, acting out all with their facial expressions, with their FUCKIN’ EYES! Nik tells us all that we must know the way he looks at her!

So yeah, he ain’t a hateful man. He ain’t creepin’ back to his sister after having realized that Bri was not his jam. He’s doing what he’s always done, what he always does:

Protect, no matter the personal costs.

Not just Brienne, not just his family, it’s his finest act of slaying Aerys and thereby sending his reputation down the drain so half a million people could live that’s on the line! Those people are on the line! And Jaime is not part of that whole castle-swap game Daenerys and Tyrion are playing. If the guy has proven anything, then it is that he, despite of what he may have others believe or tries to make himself believe at times, is one of the few characters who actually give a damn on the smallfolk. He ended the Riverrun Siege without bloodshed (Jaime, seriously, revisit that scene, it’s in supercuts, you clearly got some things mixed up there, hon). He killed one man so half a million could live. It was not without purpose that Varys gave us that callback to how those people matter as much as any of them and how even someone Daenerys claimed to be so much more important because he is so clever, Tyrion, is in the end just as important as any other farmer going about his life. They deserve to live, and I think Jaime’s upset about Tyrion being like “just give him the Reach, what does it matter???” is all the more telling as it reaches beyond his personal conflict. The Reach is the center of food production and we are just giving it up to a sellsword who has no fuck-o to give about either politics or the people who live within the constraints of these? Fuck no.

Jaime wants to protect people. It’s been one of the driving forces in his character all along, even before we got to know him, when we were still led to the conclusion that he was just a douche that needed to be killed off because EVIL MAN!

Jaime wants to protect the people he loves in particular. For them, he goes extreme lengths. That was his family foremost, but that certainly included Brienne long before they got intimate. He’s cared about her for so very long. So I do not believe for a single second that he’d just... forget that, be able to put that aside. Jaime can’t.

And he doesn’t have to. He just has to see that. And Brienne will make him realize that.

Because as much as Jaime wants to protect everyone, factors are now changed. He just doesn’t see it yet.

Because this time, he is in for a surprise as there is someone who will protect him the same way he is committed to that person’s protection. And that will make the crucial difference, it already does. He never had that with his sister. She literally threatened to kill him, literally sent an assassin after him for having the *effrontery* not to act the way she would have liked, not falling in line when she as Queen demanded it. Jaime’s never had anyone step up for him the way Brienne did. Jaime never had anyone protect him that way.

She stood up for him during the trial when Tyrion failed.

She saved him and he saved her during the battle against the living dead.

She certainly had conversation with Sansa to ensure he was welcome at Winterfell.

She will stand up for her man and will protect him - from himself if she must.

“Nothing’s more hateful than failing to protect the one you love.” - she won’t let history repeat itself with the man who finally loves her back.

She will protect Jaime.

Jaime will protect Brienne.

And that is and has always been the very core of their relationship.

And that core is beautiful and pure and no angst gets between that.

Thanks for coming to yet another TED talk.

[endless-vall]

I’m... Home? - Naomi x MC fanfic

Summary: Ivy’s back in New York, but she struggles to adjust to her life back home. Then, she’s faced with an important decision that’ll have a permanent impact on her life.

Author’s note: In VOS final, I had Ivy stay with Naomi, but in my personal HC, she did go back to New York, at least at first.

Hope you’ll like it~ 😄

Tagging: @writtenbycandy​ @liam-rhys​ @asprankle​ @meeraaverywalker​ @dandeservestheworld​ @secretnerdharmony.  Comment on this post to let me know if you wanna be tagged as well.

Ivy woke up for another day in her apartment in New York.

It had been six months since she had returned from Birchport.

She was promoted to senior editor, and sold one of the most spectacular stories of the year, the story of the Sterlings and Birchport.

She had a promising future, as her boss said.

Ivy smiled to herself, a melancholic smile, as she got ready for work.

She threw a quick glance to her phone, her face lightening up when she saw Naomi’s name on her notification screen, then going bleak again when she realized how far away she was.

How she couldn’t embrace her every night and how their ‘plan’, wasn’t working.

Ivy had never felt more lonely in her life.

‘Good Morning love, don’t forget to kick ass’ - Naomi.

She read the message, feeling as if she was punched in her stomach.

If there was anything Ivy learned since she came back to New York about her relationship with Naomi, is that seeing her only once in a few months and text her, wasn’t enough.

It will never be enough.

It was ridiculous, but it was also true.

And Ivy didn’t have much time to dwell on it, unless she wanted to miss her morning briefing and be late for work.

So she threw on her most sharp-looking jacket, and headed off to work.

And she didn’t think about it, until her lunch break.

She blew off some coworkers for lunch, and instead ate by herself.

She was munching on Sundesh, which was an Indian dessert Naomi had taught her how to make on one of their first dates.

It was special to Ivy’s heart, and even though Naomi’s Sandesh always turned out better, Ivy was getting the hang of it.

She smiled to herself, as she let her mind trail off.

New York was her home.

It had been since she finished college.

And she was... Happy. In her home.

Well, at least she was until Kate was supposed to get married.

Since then, Ivy’s life took an unexpected turn.

And for the first time in her life, she didn’t know what to do.

She knew she could never ask Naomi to give up her life in Birchport. Especially not since she was officially named Chief of police. It was Naomi’s dream coming true. Actually making a change. She couldn’t, and wouldn’t ask her for that,

than had been established months ago.

But being a senior editor in one of New York’s most important news papers, was Ivy’s dream.

Wasn’t it?

Or... Could it be... It wasn’t what she wanted anymore?

“Ivy!” Something, or rather someone, cut off Ivy’s line of thought. “There you are!”

Ivy looked up. Standing in front of her, was Omara, her boss.

“Oh, hey!” Ivy shook herself out of her daydreaming session and blinked at her. “How’s it going, boss?” She playfully tried to avoid the fact she was a couple minutes late coming back from her break.

But it was only a couple of minutes, right?

“Would you like to join me in my office?” Omara asked, plastering a smile over her face.

Oh-oh... Was Ivy in trouble?

After dealing with Walsh, the Sterlings, and Duffy, her boss Omara didn’t seem much of a threat.

But just to be safe, Ivy grabbed one last pastry from her lunch bag to bribe Omara with.

Once they were in Omara’s office, the latter started blabbering out.

“So, you won’t believe who I just got a call from!” Omara enthused.

Ivy’s eyes widened, surprised in the sudden charge of energy in the room.

Omara wasn’t always the... most joyful person.

“Who was it?” Ivy played along.

“Dan Beckett!”

Oh, Ivy knew who that was... She knew that very well.

“And he wants you! on his team! Oh my god, can you believe it? I can’t believe you’ll be leaving us... But, then again, It’s your dream’s coming true, isn’t it?”

It was one of the rare moments where Omara truly opened up, and she seemed genuinely happy for Ivy.

Dan Beckett was the executive editor of the New York Times. The one news paper every journalist had always dreamt of getting into.

And he was offering a job for Ivy.

“Aren’t you just ecstatic?!”

Ivy leaving her company in order to work in the New York Times would mean their company would lose one of their best employees, but it would also be good publicity and good connections in the right places.

And it was her dream coming true.

She should be ecstatic!

So why... Wasn’t she?

Why wasn’t she happy, at all?

“Thank you so much, Omara, for everything.” She smiled, for the first time genuinely in that conversation.

Because she knew what she had to do.

“But I can’t take it.”

“What?? That’s insane--”

“Maybe it is, but I decline. And I’m also... officially resigning. I’ll hand over everything to you by Monday.

And, uhh-- I truly mean it. Thank you.” Ivy didn’t even stutter.

She knew exactly what she wanted.

Everything was clear now.

She didn’t want to be a big-shot journalist, not anymore.

She went out of Omara’s office with a smile.

She went back home, packed a bag, and ordered a cab.

She’d have enough time to mull it over in her ride, she was sure, but her decision wasn’t a rush, in the heat-of-the-moment kind of act, even though it surely seemed that way.

No... Ivy knew where she belonged.

And it was most definitely, not in New York.

She figured, being a Journalist, wasn’t what she wanted anymore.

It was her past, sure, and she didn’t regret it... But maybe she could do more good.

Agent Kim did offer her a job on the force, but...

Maybe it was too early to think of that.

She had her whole life in front of her.

She could try joining the police force, though. Yes, that seemed like a nice start.

By the time she made it to her destination, it was sunrise.

The sky was just starting to get color, painting everything around Ivy in faded, orange tones. 

The ranch around her reminded her of an old renaissance painting, and Ivy took a moment to appreciate the beauty around her, and how she had missed it, before striding forward and knocking on the door.

It took a couple of knocks, it was, after all, five in the morning and maybe the rational decision should’ve been to wait for an appropriate time, but Ivy couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Uhh, Flynn, it’s five in the morning. I don’t care which major discovery or progress you’ve made on the serial-magazine-thief it could wait until I come to the station--” Naomi’s words were cut short when she raised her gaze up and met Ivy.

A gasp escaped her lips, and they parted as her eyes hung at her.

“Oh, Ivy!” It took Naomi a few long seconds to catch up before she collected Ivy into her embrace, her hands wrapping tightly around the latter, and her burying her face in the woman’s neck.

“I’ve missed you like crazy.” Naomi confessed, when they finally broke apart.

They both leaned in, sharing a brief kiss before Naomi moved away, letting Ivy into her house with a motion of her hand.

“Not as much as I missed you,” Ivy assured, just the tiniest bit of nervousness slipping into her voice.

Naomi flashed a huge, heartwarming grin at her, her eyes practically glowing.

“Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?” Naomi asked, looking into her kitchen.

“Oh, coffee sounds great! Amazing, actually. Please do.” Ivy giggled nervously, and Naomi seemed to catch up on the way her voice pitched a note higher, but didn’t question it.

She gave Ivy a reassuring look and headed into the kitchen. “Yeah, I think the both of us could use a good cup of coffee-” Naomi started responding, while Ivy followed her into the kitchen, helping her with the brewing.

But Ivy interrupted Naomi’s words, making her stop in her tracks.

“- I LOVE YOU.” 

Ivy spitted out, out of no where.

Well, not exactly no-where. She’s been contemplating these words for the last couple of months, but...

She really didn’t think the timing through, did she?

“I’m sorry?” Was, apparently all Naomi could say.

And it was okay!

Ivy knew she screwed up, and... Frankly, expected even worse reaction. Like... Naomi kicking her out, maybe?

Or the ground swallowing her whole?

Actually, the latter sounded pretty good right about now.

Ivy took a deep breathe, pushing through.

“Okay, I’m so sorry I interrupted you. I’m sorry I fell out of nowhere in five in the morning and blabbered it out, I’m sorry I haven’t really been present in the last six months but most of all, I’m sorry I wasn’t completely honest with you, because... Naomi Silverhawk, I’m in love with you and I have been, for the last six-seven months of my life and, I, maybe... Just maybe, have quit my job in New York and will be moving to Birchport.

That, if you’ll have me, of course-”

Now Ivy was a blabbering mess, great.

But at least she was laying her heart out.

For the first, real time in her life.

It felt good.

“Of course I’ll have you!” Naomi tackled her before Ivy could finish.

She was pushing her against the kitchen’s counter and kissing her hard.

Passionately, but also tenderly. 

Lovely.

And the moment they broke apart, Naomi was already breathing out, beaming at Ivy. “-I love you too.” 

“You don’t have to say it just because I-”

“Just because you just poured your heart out, making only about 10% sense, and quit your job to come live in little old Birchport, where we can be together?”

When Naomi put it like that...

“Don’t worry though-” Naomi play punched Ivy in her shoulder. “I’m not saying it just because you said it first. I... Love you too. Really. I have for... Also quite some time.” Ivy could swear Naomi was blushing,

but she was way too ecstatic to tease her about it right now.

And that’s when she realized, why nothing felt right in New York anymore.

Why her dream wasn’t her dream anymore.

“But wait,” Naomi took a step back. She was still clinging to Ivy, the hint of a smile never leaving her lips.

“What about everything you’ve left behind? Your dreams? Your work?” She asked, blinking at Ivy.

“I’ve come to realize... I could be a journalist, or an officer, or whatever I want to be, anywhere in the world. But what I can’t have anywhere in the world... Is you by my side.

I’m so used to trusting my gut when it comes to my cases, my investigations and the stories I tell...

And I’ve been wondering why I couldn’t trust it in personal affairs as well.

So I decided ti just do it. I chose love. I chose you.”

“But what if you come to regret that decision? I don’t wanna be that person that ruined your life-” Naomi’s voice turned out a little distressed, but was cut off before she finished, by Ivy caressing her face.

“It won’t happen. You can never ruin it. And I’m not just coming back for you, though you are my soulmate.”

“Soulmate?” Naomi beams at her, before regaining her cool and letting Ivy continue.

“Of course!” She assures her, before going on.

“But also because I’ve never felt anywhere nearly at home like here, in Birchport. Because my best friends are living here. Because I’m happy just being here, crazy as it was, more than I was ever in New York.

And... well, It won’t be the same without you. So... What do you say?” Ivy raises one intertwined hand between her and Naomi.

Her eyebrows are arched upwards in a begging manner, and she has a hopeful yet cautious smile on her lips.

But Naomi doesn’t keep her waiting for long.

She smiled at her, widely, before pulling her into another fervent kiss.

“I say... Let’s do it, soulmate.” Naomi kisses her again, before caressing her face with her both hands. “Welcome back home.” She whispers against her skin.

Ivy takes one look around herself, unable to suppress her happiness inside of her.

It feels so good to just finally be able to hear it, to say it...

“I’m... Home.” She breathes out.

And she’s never been happier.

[thescarletlibrarian]

2018 Met Gala:  Still Weird AF

The theme this year was “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination,” and yes, it was as weird as you’d expect, but lamely without the sort of violent martrydom references that would make this shitshow properly Catholic, as we’ve already established.  

There were several categories, including Committed to Theme, White Dress, Gold Dress, Statement Gloves, Bead the Shit Out of It, Just Stick Something on My Head, and Themes Are for Losers, so off we go.

Committed to Theme, If Weirdly So

Host Rihanna as Glam Pope, which honestly looks really uncomfortable since it’s beaded inside as well as out?  What is that?  Also our first example of multi-theme, encompassing White Dress, Bead the Shit Out of It, and Stick Something on My Head.

Heinously long post, so click for like 90 examples of this crazy shit.

Ruby Rose committing to a Sexy Cardinal costume, which is not something I ever thought I’d have to type, but here we are.  At the Met Gala.  Where you type all kinds of things you never expected.

Taylor Hill, realizing someone else is wearing a Sexy Cardinal costume, although I personally prefer this one, mostly because of the cape.  Yeah, I know.  I like capes.

Sticking Zoe Kravitz in here because I’m pretty sure this is like a Spanish lace mantilla veil you’re supposed to wear when you meet the Pope, only not worn in the traditional manner.

Sarah Jessica Parker making it in here rather than Gold Dress or Thing on My Head because she appears to be wearing an entire small chapel thing on her head, and she really does deserve recognition for that level of commitment.   

Katy Perry definitely committed with those ugly-ass wings, which I’m going to assume she took off before she went in, because there is a dance component to the Met Gala and those would make that particular part kind of weird.  She will, however, be able to stay in both the Gold Dress category and mail subcat even without them, so that’s some solid planning.

Lily Collins sneaking out of the Just Stick Something [Art Deco] on My Head category by coming as some sort of sci-fi slutty nun thing.  As you do.

Greta Gerwig, not sure her nun costume was as good an idea as she thought at home.  

I’m assuming this is some sort of weird Dark Angyl costume thing on Kate Moss, or maybe it’s a Fallen Angel thing and the nauseous look is her still trying to get over the drop?

Okay, Ariana Grande, your putti-covered fresco dress gets you into the Theme category, despite that giant organza bow on your head, which I assume is the result of a lost bet.  Also, did you ladies go in on gold eyeshadow together, because I can’t imagine you use it that much in general, but EVERYBODY is busting that shit out tonight.  Maybe they put some in the Met bathrooms, I hear they put emergency kits in the ladies’ rooms at these sorts of shindigs.  Like a seamstress team just in case.

Shailene Woodley, realizing that wearing a homemade Joan of Arc costume to the Met Gala was a mistake.  

Zendaya, wearing a Joan of Arc costume that doesn’t pass the My Lungs Are Up Here test, and though it does have pauldrons they’re Cold Shoulder Pauldrons, which is pretty weird, but is definitely making Shailene Woodley jealous.

How many Marys can you wear on one dress?  Stella Maxwell is out to find out.

Madonna couldn’t go with the obvious getup here, so instead she’s done another nun thing?  Like a goth nun, which has definitely been a thing, although the black roses aren’t something I’ve seen before.

I don’t know what’s up with Tessa Thompson’s jacket, but the beaded priest’s collar is an interesting contribution to the theme.

And the category trophy goes to Lana del Rey, not for the heart being stabbed a bunch of times so much as the eyeball lorgnette, which is absolutely the sort of St. Lucy-esque martrydom imagery I came here for.  She’d rank highly in the Shit on the Head category as well, although as we’ll see SJP has that one covered.

Themes Are for Losers

Amal Clooney, after several years still managing to show up looking like she’s showing up to her husband’s work party as a favor, and yet blow away most of the competition without trying.  Even when wearing this very peculiar getup.

I do love when someone shows up not only ignoring the theme but clearly not giving a hoot in hell and just being weird AF because the Met Gala is where you do that, and Frances McDormand has definitely walked away with that prize this year.

I’m honestly not sure if Diane Kruger just said “the hell with the theme, I’m wearing 18th century decor puffed all over my ass and no one can stop me,” or if this is supposed to evoke Rococo chapels or some shit? 

This looks like Salma Hayek might have been going for the theme, but ended up with some sort of cross-stitch instead.  I has a parrot, though, so I’m for it.

Tiffany Haddish has managed to add a train to a surplice neckline shirt that’s sort of sneaking, with those black pants, towards a pseudo-tux look, and I’m absolutely down with that, although I have to detract some personal points because there’s something about sparkly pants I just can’t support.  Trained shirts, however, definitely.

Just Stick Something on My Head

Cardi B, also multi-category but with that thing we’ll go with headwear as the main thing.   Also an example of Giant Fluffy Things on My Hips, for...reasons? 

SZA, with a solid commitment to tiara/halo cateogry, and a tutu-ish contribution to the fluffy shit on on the hips subcat, with a nod at beading the shit out of it with the boots.  May actually be some sort of coked-up ballet costume that picked up the boots at a sketchy club, it is New York, after all.

Amanda Seyfried phoning it in with that tiara; this is much more of a cop-out Midsummer Night’s Dream schtick than anything else.

Normally I would detract points from Princess Beatrice just slapping on a tiara type thing, because come on, you’re a princess, that’s everyday stuff, but since her grandmother is head of the Church of England the Catholicism thing is a little dicey, so I’ll cut her some slack on this one.

Pompom veil!  Or...pompom scarf worn as a veil, which doesn’t even qualify as weird at this shindig, although Kate Bosworth would get more points if it matched the white/cream dress. instead of being a colder shade of white with silver edging.  Come on, woman.  Get it together.

I wouldn’t normally include Doutzen Kroes even in the “screw it” category, except that she’s got this extra bit tossed over her head, which I don’t think has anything to do with the theme, but some other people have been doing that in weird ways and I have the terrible feeling “extra hood-y/veil-y bits slung over the head” is going to become a Thing on the runway and wanted to make sure you saw it here first.  

This thing, this thing on Kate Upton, that’s what I’m talking about. And not the weird flower crown thing, either.  

The thing on Priyanka Chopra is not what I’m talking about, as while she has the Bollywood training to pull off this level of bling around her face, as well as  match the makeup to that wine-red velvet monster, most people do not.  She is rocking this look, however, and knows it, so good for her.

Oh, god, maybe the beaded cowl thing is going to be a Thing?  Nicki Minaj thinks it’s going to be a Thing.  Possibly a Vampire Goth Thing?  Oh, god.

It’s like a beaded face veil over a Spanish Iron body veil thing on Cara Delevingne, although she’s definitely worn weirder things.

I really wonder what Hailee Steinfeld’s monster looks like in the back; that doesn’t look like a Butt Bow so much as a Butt Modern Art Fiber Sculpture, which is taking Butt Embellishments to a new and weird level.

Now Jill Kargman has COMMITTED to the weird shit on the head thing, not only those weird black flowery bits but also the big long sticks, because go big or go home, evidently.

Amber Heard has actually managed to find a head thing that does indeed look like a Renaissance halo thing, so points for that, but is also wearing a butt bow AND a train, and that is some serious commitment to hauling crap around behind you.

Yeah, that’s the face of someone who knows there’s a pineapple looking thing on her head, made of her own hair.  I’m so sorry, Sasha Lane.  She can, however, go straight to bed in the back of the limo wearing that nightie thing, and that’s definitely a plus.

Janelle Monáe started stacking stuff on her head, and I’m not sure if there are more layers on there over the hat or not.  It’s possible.  You never know with Monáe.

Solange also stacking shit on her head, also possibly going for some kind of martyr-y facial expression?  Or maybe just bored?  Walking up a staircase with a million photographers doesn’t actually look like that fun.

Kylie Jenner is wearing see no evil glasses on her head, which may also make it really hard to see the stairs?  Maybe stairs are also evil?  She probably has somebody to guide her up, though, that stands out of the frame periodically.  So she doesn’t have to see the evil stairs.

Winnie Harlow making her way out of the White (weddingesque) Dress category with a spiky cloud thing on her head.  What is that thing even made of?  It looks like paper, which is actually a good idea and probably more comfortable than a lot of these things.

Statement Gloves

Bella Hadid, with small entry in the Just Stick in On My Head category, and Black Dress.  What the Star Wars capey thing contributes I’m not clear on, but maybe that’s just the limits of my Catholic Imagination.

Mindy Kaling makes it in here with the gloves because I can’t believe that thing on her head lasted very long.  Is she married?  Otherwise she can totally reuse this thing at her wedding, too, so that’s some good planning.

Riley Keough managed to get some lapels in here, and I’m a sucker for lapels for some reason, so that’s points from me even if I’m not sure what brought about the glove decision here.

Alicia Vikander managed to pull a sort of cardinal cope thing here, although she clearly doesn’t care that much about the theme and decided this was just a good opportunity to pull out some gothy eyeliner, which does actually work for her, weirdly.

Bead the Shit Out of It

Donatella Versace, joining in the “my boots match my bodice and I blinged them both out” club along with SZA, and narrrrrrowly escaping Butt Cape territory by having basically an entire Leg Cape thing going on. 

Even at the Met Gala, someone must ALWAYS come as a featherduster, and this time it was Kris Jenner in a black dress subcat with more bling than strictly necessary for a featherduster.

Gold Dress

Olivia Munn rolling in a pseudo-Egyptian getup that also fits into the “chainmayle” subcat as well as “just stick something on my head.”  Apparently the cowl is meant to evoke the Crusades, which is honestly more than a little disturbing on multiple levels.

Jasmine Sanders in a gold dress that appears to be made of plastic, and if that thing is not glued or taped to her boobs (which is done in pageants), I will be extremely surprised indeed.

Kiersey Clemens solidly in Gold Dress land (subdivision pseudo-Egyptian), but does this count as Beaded to Shit, or the mesh/mail subcat?  And what is up with this tiny gold suitcase?  Is there something in Catholicism about tiny gold suitcases?  Religion is weird, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Slinging Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in the Gold Dress rather than Stick In On My Head category because that one’s getting awfully full and that’s a pretty lame-ass halo thing she’s got going on.  She’d get more points if she were playing around with the cape doing angel wing-y dances with it, but she kind of looks ready to hurl here, so maybe she’s just not feeling up to it.

I’m not sure if Joan Smalls has those hair sticks for stabbing people, or she’s hanging onto them for some kind of mermaid gig?  

Evan Rachel Wood appears to have ripped the feathers off all six of the archangel Gabriel’s gold wings, and by the look on her face she’s daring the Supernatural fandom to say something.  (They’re going to say something.  With a gif.)

I honestly don’t know what’s going on here with Lena Dunham, it looks like a vaguely terrifying Regency-era fancy-dress costume going for eighteenth century bewigged and powdered something or other.  She’s committed to something, at least, I’ll give her that.

White Dress

Look, there are white dresses, and there are wedding dresses, and no matter how many crosses Uma Thurman throws on she still looks in need of a minister and a guy in a tux here.

This smirk is Dakota Fanning knowing that she’s more comfortable than most people here, and the white Greco-Roman thing here makes sure she fits in without looking weird.

And this is Keri Russell not giving a damn, because she has done the same thing, well done, Russell.  

Kendall Jenner has taken the red carpet pants phenomenon and added trains.  To her pant legs.  That’s not something I would have done with white pants, personally, but I guess she can always cut them off if they get really gross and dirty.

[antimatterpod]

Transcript - Transcript - 57. A Tale of Two Romulan Commanders

You can listen to the original episode here.

Anika: It seems like everyone is maneuvering and everyone is looking out for themselves or their interests.

Liz: I mean, hashtag Romulans.

Liz: Welcome to Antimatter Pod, a Star Trek podcast where we discuss fashion, feminism, subtext and subspace, hosted by Anika and Liz. That's me.

This week, we're talking about the only two episodes of The Original Series to feature Romulans: "Balance of Terror" and "The Enterprise Incident".

Anika: A first season episode and a third season episode.

Liz: Isn't it wild that the Romulans are so important to Star Trek and yet they only appear twice?

Anika: I think it's -- they're very memorable.

Liz: Yeah. And unlike the Klingons, they have that connection with Vulcan and--

Anika: Vulcan.

Liz: Spock, basically.

Anika: Yes, precisely. And the Klingons took over. As soon as the movies and Next Generation were around, the Romulans had much -- the Romulans were almost working for the Klingons in those later--

Liz: Yeah, they were sidelined.

Anika: It's interesting. It's interesting. And we've discussed how thrilled I am that they're having a renaissance.

Liz: This is a pro-Romulan podcast.

Anika: It's interesting to go back to the beginning of the Romulans and try to really watch it from a perspective of, you know, not "these are my favorite aliens since I was--"

Liz: Yes.

Anika: "--twelve." You know, it's interesting.

Liz: Sort of trying to piece together how we would feel about them without the baggage of everything else.

Anika: Right. It's hard, especially "The Enterprise Incident", it's really hard.

Liz: Oh, I know. I know.

Anika: "Balance of Terror" is more -- even within the context of that episode, we learn so little about Romulans in that episode, and it's much more about the personalities of the Romulans and the humans than it is about the race.

Liz: We get intriguing glimpses though, the business about the Praetor, and the junior officer who is more loyal to the politics and the Praetor than to his own commander, and so forth. I really love that stuff. And it feels like the foundation for everything that will come.

Anika: Those Roman Romulans!

Liz: I'm on the record as saying that I -- like, I think "Balance of Terror" is good, and I respect it, but I don't enjoy watching it. I was surprised at how much fun I had this time. And I think that's, in part, because I've watched a lot of submarine movies since the last time I watched the episode, and I have more appreciation for the tropes.

Anika: I was gonna say, so you see that that part of it? And respect it as a genre as opposed to just Star Trek?

Liz: Yes. And submarine movies are not really something that I watch because I love the characters, they're because I love the tension. So that that really worked this time.

But also, in talking to you about the character of Kirk, I really enjoyed what they did with him in "Balance of Terror", and the way he's so young, but he's so paternal with his officers. It's so interesting. McCoy's whole, "don't destroy the one named Kirk," you know, "there are millions of galaxies and billions of people, and only one James Kirk" felt like such a wonderful statement of the series' humanism.

Anika: Yes, I agree. And I think this episode does a lot of heavy lifting for the relationships between Kirk and McCoy, and how Spock is viewed by the rest of the crew. You know, how even if he didn't have a connection to the Romulans, like, he's sort of an -- he's the outsider. And I know that intellectually, like, that's his character description. But, again, because Spock has now been around for so long, and he's so central to Star Trek, it's hard to think of him as the underdog.

Liz: Yes, yes. And it's interesting to me that we have "Balance of Terror", where Spock is subject to the bigotry of another crewman, and then we have "The Enterprise Incident" two years later, where the Romulans are sort of trying to play on his experience of bigotry to say, "Wouldn't you be happier among Romulans?" and he's going, "Actually, no, I belong with the Federation. I'm not not fully human and not fully Vulcan, but I'm totally Federation."

Anika: It's definitely clear in "The Enterprise Incident" that they have a giant file on everybody in the Enterprise and that's what I want to know [about]. I want all of the details on how they are getting this information, and how it's presented to the Romulans, you know, to the Praetor and then the military, and then to the individuals. There's these layers there. That's why I'm so obsessed with these Romulans, there are just so many layers to it.

Liz: I was wondering if the Romulan officers have standing orders to try to recruit any Vulcan they encounter. Like, ideally high ranked Starfleet officers, but literally any Vulcan they can get their hands on. I think that feels very political, and sort of in line with the allegations that North Korea is very into abducting South Koreans when they can, and also ties in with Diane Duane's plot about the Romulans sort of being a bit obsessed with Vulcans and their abilities, and hating and fearing them, but also really wanting to be part of them.

Anika: I think that that is definitely a throughline through the Romulan stories, even in the first, in "Balance of Terror", when all they know about each other is this military intel spy stuff, right? They don't have any personal interactions or knowledge.

And the Romulan Commander -- Not Spock's Dad -- he envies the Federation, in that he -- this is gonna sound not to be super political, but I'm very political these days. Because I'd like to, you know, here's my world. It's horrible, and very political, literally everything you do is political. And with this pandemic, all of the problems existed before the pandemic, but now they are exposed for literally everyone to see, like, no one can escape them at this point. And one of those is that we force people to work until they die.

So this guy, this one Romulan Commander, he just wants to go home and be a farmer, and live out his life. He reminds me of people who are, like, forced into the military for whatever reason, either because it's actually a mandate for their culture, or because they can't afford to, like, go to medical school otherwise, kind of thing. And then they're stuck, you know, working off this debt to their society. And it's like, they've done it, he's done it.

This guy should be allowed to retire and have his wife and his family and his farm, and instead, he dies. And it's just like, why? Why did that happen? Other than that we don't care about people. And so, you know, not to say that America has more in common with the Romulans. But...

Liz: But...

What strikes me is that, between these two episodes, the Federation doesn't really necessarily have much of a moral high ground? Like, yes, the Romulans have been carrying out these unprovoked attacks on what appears to be civilian outposts along the neutral zone.

But two years later, Kirk is just literally going into Romulan space to conduct an espionage mission, and plausible deniability is literally discussed. It's interesting that the Federation has not held up as morally superior to the Romulans.

Anika: I mean, you don't think it is? Because I got the impression that, because it was Kirk and Spock, we were on their side and they're doing the right thing.

Liz: Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Anika: So it didn't seem to me, like, if there is a moral we -- it was definitely, "the Romulans are bad and whatever we have to do to beat them is okay". Which isn't something I agree with on any level, but--

Liz: I don't know if it's necessarily that black and white, because if it were, the Romulans would not be so likable.

You know, we really respect the Mark Lenard Romulan Commander, and he's been basically carrying out terrorist attacks along the border. And the Joanne Linville Romulan Commander is so smart and charming, and a character you really enjoy spending time with. I don't think they would be that likable if the intent was for us to hate them.

Anika: I can see that. They're definitely likable. I don't know that they're -- well, yeah, no. Okay. I will concede the point.

Liz: Not necessarily admirable. But...

Anika: Maybe sympathetic.

Liz: I think that's it. I think, you know, Spock genuinely hurts the Linville Commander when he betrays her. And you get the impression, that in another life, the Lenard Commander would have been a really stand up, decent guy.

Anika: Right? Yes. If he wasn't stuck being that guy? Yeah.

Liz: Yeah. Well, that's the thing. He is so decent and honorable that we just overlook all the people he's killed.

I just want to say the Linville Commander doesn't have a body count.

Anika: Well, I mean, even if I completely erase Diane Duane's take on it from my mind, the Linville Commander, simply because she's a woman in the '60s...

Liz: Yes.

Anika: I assume that she had to work three times as much for every inch of power that she got in that society. Now, I know that, since then, we've seen the Romulans as kind of matriarchal, that they definitely have a lot of women in high places.

Liz: But that's a new thing. And it's sort of evolved from the force of Linville's presence.

Anika: Right. And definitely, in this one, again, simply because it was made in, you know, 1969, and where feminism was at that point, I just assume that she's this ... I don't know, like a Hillary Clinton figure, who, by the time she gets to be in power, everyone hates her because of all the things she had to do to get there.

Liz: You certainly don't get the impression that her subcommander has any strong feelings for her either way. Subcommander Tal, who looks like Peter Capaldi.

Speaking of feminism in the '60s, I was going through old zines, and I was really surprised to learn that the fans, the female fans of the '70s really, really hated this character. And it was partially that she made the moves on Spock, and how dare she, and partially because she does lose in the end, and they felt like it was a story about putting a woman in her place and depriving her of her power.

Anika: I mean, I guess I can see that argument, but I didn't -- I don't know. It probably is because I am biased, but I never felt like -- I felt like she -- her power is very tenuous to begin with. And honestly, Mark Lenard's, too.

Liz: Yeah, you constantly expect them to get a knife in the back.

Anika: Neither of them seem to be, like, commanding their crews in a way -- they're not they're not Kirk, you know? People aren't going to line up to fall on a bomb for him. Like, neither of them seem to have that ... Loyalty? I don't know. That … that presence. They just have the--

Liz: The camaraderie comes from being part of a democracy.

Anika: Yeah. Yes. It seems like everyone is maneuvering and everyone is looking out for themselves or their interests.

Liz: I mean, hashtag Romulans.

Anika: Right, exactly. But it doesn't feel to me like Spock put this woman in her place, who -- no, she wasn't she wasn't a woman in power to begin with.

Liz: But I think it's also that, but also, that sort of urge that any female character must be perfect and flawless and never make mistakes. And she does make mistakes -- she's attracted to Spock, she lets that interfere with her judgement. And he is also attracted to her, but he is a Vulcan and therefore doesn't. And I guess one point to logic, zero points to Romulans.

Anika: But don't you think Spock would be happier if he ... just saying.

Liz: I would love to see AOS Spock where the AOS Romulan Commander is somehow helping Spock with the rebirth of Vulcan.

Anika: Oh yeah, you know what? In AOS they definitely got to make up with the Romans much quicker.

Liz: Yeah, I realise that at this point in time, they still don't know that the Romulans are related to Vulcans. But that could be a whole movie. Call me, Paramount!

Anika: Apparently it was trending on Twitter earlier that Zachary Quinto wants to play Spock again. So let's go.

Liz: Yeah, yeah, we'll go for it. I love his work.

Anika: And I should say it was trending on Star Trek Twitter. Actual Twitter is very busy right now.

Liz: There's some stuff going on.

Anika: Yeah, just a few things.

Liz: But yeah, I think despite her flaws -- maybe because of her flaws -- I love the Romulan Commander, the Linville one. I quite like Sarek Commander, and I like to think that he has a nice husband at home. And he's a really, really good dad, and he has a great relationship with all of his kids. And...

Anika: He's the anti-Sarek. I mean, I love the Romulan -- wait. The Linville Romulan -- this is hard. They need names.

Liz: I'm very mad that neither of them have names. Why does her subcommander have a name, and she doesn't?

Anika: Right? Because if you they were trying to make a whole, you know, the commanders don't have -- this is one of those things that it's like, now we, the fandom and, and the authors in -- the [tie-in] authors, in particular, but everybody has come up with reasons why all of these things are. And we've made it part of Romulan culture, but in reality, I think it was just that they didn't give them names.

Liz: It's weird. I wish Dorothy Fontana was around to ask.

Anika: Like, why, what is this? What is going on here? Because, yeah, other people do have names. It's just them.

Liz: Yeah. And all the Klingons we meet have names. So I guess it's part of that whole Romulan secrecy thing, and, you know, their public name and their family name and their secret name. Thank you very much, Michael Chabon, you're forgiven on this count.

But couldn't we at least find out their public names so we don't have to refer to them by their actors'?

Anika: Right. Because it's annoying, especially, like, Lenard Romulan Commander and Linville. It just sounds -- it takes me out of the discussion.

Liz: I'm always on the verge of saying Linley instead of Linville. And I believe Joanne Linley was a different actress altogether. So...

Anika: Whoops! Right.

Liz: This is just one of the things I would change if I could go back in time to fix Star Trek, but it's on my list.

I'm really interested in how Kirk is mirrored with the Lenard Commander, who is -- I won't say logical, but he's sort of stoic and duty bound like Spock. Spock is mirrored with the Linville Commander, who is emotional and sensuous and strategic like Kirk.

Anika: Interesting, I like this.

Liz: It just occurred to me this morning as I was making our outline, and I thought, my goodness, that would be an amazing double date. And it's just -- shipping aside, it's just really interesting how these character types bounce so well off each other.

And, of course, there's also a great deal in common between Kirk and the Lenard Commander, and whereas Spock and the Linville Commander have the sort of contrast you get in a really spiky het pairing. It's a very 1960s seduction.

Anika: It reminds me of how,, in James Bond, there's always like the hot girl that is a tragic figure or a side piece. And then there's the hot girl that is like, he can't be with her for some reason. And, and in the best Bond films, it's that she's on the other side, that she's the enemy. And it reminds me of that kind of relationship.

Liz: So what you're saying is that Mark Lenard is a Bond girl?

Anika: Yes. I mean, I think it can work, you know?

Liz: No, I think I think it makes sense. And I don't really ship anyone with Lenard Commander, because, like, he doesn't even meet these people face to face. And he kills a lot of people, but still, I--

Anika: You keep saying that! I don't even think of it. Like, yes, he's the enemy, and he's the Romulan, and he is -- because he's at that level, like, he's -- again, he's at retirement age, so of course he must have killed people that our crew knew. He's that level of person. And yet it does not factor into my appreciation of him at all.

Liz: That's the thing! It has not factored into mine either! And I'm so interested in how willing I am to overlook that. And will I change my opinion if I keep reiterating, to myself as much as our listeners, that he killed a bunch of people?

And it's kind of like, No, I think he's a great character and I wish he hadn't died, or we could have spent more time with him and ... yeah. Adventures of Romulans in Federation Captivity.

Anika: It reminds me of my strong feelings for the defector Romulan.

Liz: Yes.

Anika: And how I like he is -- in that episode, they straight up say, like, this is his resume of death. Here are all the people he personally killed. And yet, I'm so upset that he dies. I'm so upset that --, you know, his family won't remember him, and they'll destroy his name. And he won't get that Romulan legacy thing. And I'm just really distraught that he -- that the one good thing that he does, in defecting to the Federation and trying to save both sides, is what destroys him. Both physically and, you know, spiritually, I guess. It's just really upsetting.

Liz: Well, you know, we love a redemption arc.

And I think -- we know that the Lenard Commander and the defector whose name I'm blanking on, even though I should know it, neither of them actually had a choice in following out their orders. Romulus is not the sort of state where you can go, "Uh, sir, that is an illegal order, and I'm entitled to not follow it." That's the sort of thing that will get you and your family killed.

It's like the thing we discussed, I think, in our episode about, you know, odo being a terrible fascist collaborator, and how living under a totalitarian regime compromises everyone? [Transcriber's note: That was episode 46: #MeToo: Terok Nor - https://antimatterpod.tumblr.com/post/616682290664357888/46-metoo-terok-nor]

Anika: Yes. And it's -- anytime we bring up Emperor Georgiou, it's like, Emperor Georgiou is a horrible person, yes, but that doesn't mean that she can't have a redemption arc, because she didn't have a choice. That was it. That was the only choice she had.

Liz: Even as a person in power, if she wanted to live, and she wanted her family to live, then, yeah, she had to go along with it. She probably didn't need to eat so many people. But this is why she needs a redemption arc.

Anika: Right. It's just -- I'm always on the side of the people who are terrible, but want to be -- like, for me, all it takes is that you want to be better. That's all. That's all I need from you, and I will be on your side, and I will help you do it.

So, of course, the worse the things you've done -- it's gonna take longer. There's gonna be a lot you have to make up for, you know, but I just -- I always come from a place of, if you're going to go on this road, then I will help you on the road. I will be on the road with you.

Liz: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so I don't think that Lenard Commander is irredeemable. I just -- I'm so interested that we overlook his crimes.

Let's talk about Lieutenant Riley, the bigoted dickhead on the bridge.

[Liz's note: yes, obviously I meant Lieutenant Stiles. In my defence, Stiles and Riley are basically identical, in that they both have hair and faces and wear the same outfits. Yes, Stiles is addressed by name in dialogue. No, I don't know what difference that makes.]

Anika: Yeah. Well, I -- yes. So I put in our notes here, like, two seconds before we started, that the line -- it's, like, famous, really, at this point, that Kirk says to our bigot, that "bigotry doesn't belong in the bridge. Keep that in your quarters."

Liz: Yes.

Anika: Something like that. And you know, it's like, "Oh, what an amazing, progressive thought to have in the '60s."

First of all, the '60s were progressive, so let's just put that aside. But second of all, it's not actually super progressive to be like, hide your bigotry and it's okay. That's not it, guys.

Liz: It's sort of the starting point for being in a professional environment where there are no telepaths, but...

Anika: It's sort of like sexual harassment in the workplace. You know, I'm sure anyone, everyone, everywhere has had one of those trainings, sexual harassment in the workplace trainings, and like what they hammer into you is that it doesn't matter if you think it's sexual harassment, if the person who's being sexually harassed does, and you are creating a hostile environment by ignoring it, then you are in the wrong.

Liz: Yeah. And there's no need for Riley to confront his bigotry. Like, he's rude about Spock, and then Spock saves his life, regardless of that. And then we're friends again. And it's kind of like ... it's just a bit weak.

Anika: Yeah. I understand that they only had, whatever, 15 minutes to do this whole thing. And he's not in any other episode. He's just this random guy. I understand the shortcomings of the medium for this.

Liz: But to have it still held up in 2020 as an aspirational high point is really...

Anika: Exactly. It's really sad. We really need to progress, guys.

Liz: Yeah. Guys. Come on.

Anika: We need to move forward. Because the truth of the matter is, is that we're probably more bigoted as a society, or -- not as a society, but as individuals with individual groups within the society, because we're so partisan, and we're so entrenched.

The people who are bigots are, you know, we've been fighting against them for forty, fifty, sixty, eighty years, right? So they've become very defensive. They're very entrenched in their beliefs. And it just makes us all become more vocal and more loud. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I am super for being as loud and as vocal as possible in opposition to their open bigotry.

But because of that, we can't look at this one moment from 1966, where Kirk says, "Hide your bigotry," as if it's a good thing. Like, we just can't -- we need to say no, no hiding. Get rid of that.

Liz: I also want to say that it's just bizarre to me that Riley is holding a grudge about a war a hundred years ago. Like, my great grandfather fought in the First World War. I don't have any negative feelings towards Germans because of that.

Anika: There's the people who worship the Confederacy, and they're upset about getting rid of their Confederate statues, or saying that you shouldn't fly the Confederate flag at, like, national sporting events. Like, those people exist, and they are those loud, entrenched bigots. And so it's weird. It's weird. It's like that is not unbelievable to me. That, if he was raised in that community of people that -- and he was taught from a very young age that, you know, you hate Romulans.

Liz: Also, I wonder, on a worldbuilding level, is it -- is there this sense of unfinished business? Because we don't know anything about them, we don't know what they look like, we've never met a Romulan face to face, so it's very easy for them to become this terrible boogeyman.

Anika: Oh, absolutely. I mean, imagine if your grandfather fought the Germans, but you never learned about them? Like you never--

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: You never learned about Snow White. You know, like, you only ever learned about people who killed your grandfather's friends.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: I don't know.

Liz: That is a really interesting way to look at it. I like it a lot.

Anika: I mean, as I said, like, five minutes ago, I am the opposite of this. However, I understand it, or I understand why it would happen. And again, it's all environmental, and what you're brought up with, and what you learn, and what you're surrounded by at all times. Those are the things that are going to affect you the most. Not to be all nature versus nurture, but I think we all have the natural ability to be open minded. But if you're only ever told one story, then that's the story that you're going to cling to.

Liz: Yeah, that's a really good point. And it's sort of -- I'm trying to bring it back to the actual episode and I can't. The pollen is in my brain and it's reproducing.

Fashion!

Anika: Yes! I love it. Okay. So Romulans had terrible fashion.

Liz: Oh, I think it's great.

Anika: As a rule, Romulans have terrible fashion, like, they are the worst. And these episodes are no different. Like, it's worse in TNG, and their ridiculous shoulder pads, and the fact that they all look like they're wearing, you know, used car leather outfits.

Liz: And their pants always look like culottes.

Anika: Oh my god, they're so bad. Everything is bad in The Next Generation. But the tweed, the different layers of bronze and magenta. Like, I don't even know what to call that color blue. But that blue--

Liz: It's like a deep electric blue.

Anika: --tweed is also a bad -- they all look like they kinda -- it kind of reminds me of T'Pol's sofa jumpsuit that she wears for the first two seasons. And so I kind of like that. It's like, oh, look, the Vulcans and the Romulans both wear ridiculous--

Liz: Upholstery....

Anika: Right. Exactly. Upholstery clothes instead of actual fabrics. You know, clothing fabrics, as opposed to making what you make your furniture out of. But...

Liz: But.

Anika: But.

Liz: I always thought that the Romulan costumes, the Romulan uniforms, were crochet. And I finally watched it in HD and I was so disappointed to learn that it's just the print on the fabric. I loved the idea of this evil empire wearing grandma's blankets,

Anika: Me too. Oh my goodness. Like, that's another point in the matriarchy.

Liz: Yes. I guess...

Anika: There we go. But then they also have that ridiculous helmet. Amazing, ridiculous helmet.

Liz: Can we assume the helmet is because they couldn't afford ears for everyone?

Anika: Yes, definitely. We can. But it's also hilarious in every way. I mean, it's, like, spray painted gold. It is so good and so bad. I love it. And then, obviously, I love Linville Romulan Commander. All of her outfits, they're both amazing. She is like, "I'm going to make this tweet work for me, so you better be ready for my tall boots and short skirt."

Liz: It's [the] 1960[s] so she's going to command in thigh high leather boots and a skirt so short that, at one point, it rides up to show her undies.

Anika: It is so ridiculous. But again, this is why I can't take her completely -- I can't take -- like I can take her completely seriously, but I can't take the idea that everyone on that ship respects her as the captain completely seriously.

Liz: I think we just have to uspend disbelief. Like, everyone takes Uhura seriously, and she's wearing an equally brief skirt. I feel like we've become more prudish in the ensuing decades about showing vast expanses of thigh.

Anika: But then she wears that other dress with the swirls.

Liz: I love that dress so much.

Anika: That dress is amazing. That's dress I would wear now--

Liz: I was about to say that!

Anika: --with no qualms. I am ready to wear it. It is perfection and it's timeless.

Liz: It's really wonderful. And I look at the way the print on the fabric works, and how it follows the lines of the dress, and I'm just so impressed with that piece of dressmaking. Like, you know, how HD sometimes makes the costumes look a bit shite? Aside from a little wobbliness in the seams on that dress, I think it holds up really nicely.

Anika: So are we -- do you have anything else to say about fashion? Because I have a ridiculous comment.

Liz: I just enjoy how Spock is kind of offended at Kirk running around in what I'm gonna call earface.

Anika: Yes. I mean, I'm kind of offended. But it's not the ears, it's the makeup.

Liz: Yeah, it really...

Anika: The ears, you know, whatever, even the eyebrows are, you know, passable, but the fact they make him very swarthy is a little upsetting.

Liz: Yeah. And I think they've done the same with Linville, too. Harder to say with Lenard. I don't think he's in so much bronzer, but that -- this was very much an era where they're like, "Hmm. aliens. Let's get some white people and paint them brown."

Anika: It's not great. It's not great, guys.

Liz: I understand that, like, our perception of what brownface is has expanded since the '60s. Like, blackface and brownface, I'm sure, were controversial at the time. But no one would have looked at, for example, T'Kuvma wearing full-length, black latex and gone, "Oh my God, this man is in blackface," which happened with Discovery. And I'm not saying that's an incorrect reaction. I just think that our standards have shifted, and we've become more sensitive to this sort of thing.

Anika: I mean, I think that's probably true that we definitely -- I mean, I would hope.

Liz: Oh, yeah.

Anika: And I hope that we're getting better. I hope that we will continue to grow in this area. And you're right, I think that at that time, it was just makeup.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: They weren't trying -- I don't even think they were -- like, maybe they were, I'm not gonna say -- I don't know. But it's possible that they weren't consciously trying to be racist, or they weren't saying that this kind of person is evil, and so we're going to color our white people to look like that. I think they were just using the -- again, using the story they knew.

Liz: Yeah, I think it is that -- the makeup for the Klingons and the Romulans is steeped in Orientalism, but I don't think that was a conscious choice.

Anika: Right, exactly. That's what I'm trying to say, that it was definitely true that it was -- that it happened. But it wasn't like they were going out of their way to do it. It just happened because they didn't know any better. And that is not an excuse. And that is a good thing. But it's a reason. I understand, again, where it comes from.

Liz: Exactly.

Anika: I'm not gonna be angry at Joanne Linville for -- she didn't have any control over that. You know, William Shatner didn't have any control over that. So you know, whatever. It's not his fault. I'm not mad at Kirk and I'm not mad at William Shatner. But I am mad at the fact that it happens.

Liz: Mad at the world in general for -- yeah, yeah.

Anika: I'm all over the place today. I'm sorry.

Liz: No, me too. And I guess this is a good time to give our listeners a heads up that I am moving house in a couple of weeks. And for the next two weekends, I will be painting the house I'm moving into. So our next episode could be a little scattershot. Because I'm probably going to have to get up very early in the morning to record it before we go and paint. So sorry.

Anika: Oh my goodness. Well, good luck with all of that.

Liz: Thank you. I've never painted anything except, you know, a canvas. So it's exciting!

Anika: It's a lot of fun, actually to paint walls. You're painting, like, walls and --?

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: It's actually very relaxing. And then, when you're done, you have an amazing sense of accomplishment. In my experience.

[Liz's note: I had an amazing sense of exhaustion. And fresh walls.]

Liz: I'm thinking of putting in, like, a bright magenta feature wall so I can make my study feel like the Linville Commander's office.

Anika: Yes, do it.

Liz: Divide it with a trendy with a translucent pink curtain for Spock to hide behind.

Anika: I really, I mean, you know, I ship them a lot.

Liz: I know.

Anika: That's where I was gonna go earlier. And so I know you have a headcanon that Laris is related to the Romulan Commander, and I'm one hundred percent for that. That's great. And I just want to say that I definitely at one point plotted a whole arc about how Saavik was their daughter.

Liz: I mean, she was half-Romulan, half-Vulcan!

Anika: Right. She was half-Romulan and half-Vulcan and like, Kirstie Alley kinda has the facial features. And then Robin Curtis has the hair. So it's sort of like, I can see it.

Liz: No, I can see it.

Anika: It works.

Liz: And it's like, "Well, I've had this kid and I don't think she's going to be very happy, she's not very happy growing up as a Romulan, maybe you would like to take care of her.". And Sarek is like, "A surprise grandchild?!"

Anika: Exactly! See, like, I think it would actually -- we wouldn't have to change anything in canon, although except maybe when she helped him through Pon Farr.

Liz: I was gonna say, we have to change the bit where they have sex.

Anika: But we can just ignore that.

Liz: I already do.

Anika: David can help him through Pon Farr.

Liz: Oh no, that's a new pairing.

Anika: I think it's kind of sweet.

Liz: I think Kirk is going to have some issues.

Anika: Anyway, I think that my main comment is that I'm really sad that she's never mentioned ever again in canon. Like, there's this whole book series, which I love. We've discussed that. [See episode 47: Pride and Prejudice in the Original Romulan - https://antimatterpod.tumblr.com/post/617951478179676160/47-pride-and-prejudice-in-the-original-romulan] But even there, she's gone, she's exiled. And so she's like a ghost, she's not actually physically there.

And then, like you and I have come up with, like, hey-- and people are like, "Oh, the universe is too small if everyone's related to everyone." And it's like, yeah, okay, but also...

Liz: Which I believe! But some opportunities are too good to pass up.

Anika: Right? And if Harry Mudd gets to have a Renaissance, where is my Romulan Commander? That's all I have to say.

Liz: Okay, concept. Concept, concept. The next AOS movie features the Romulan Commander, Jennifer Garner plays her.

Anika: Yes!

Liz: You know, she's a bit older than Quinto, and she has that sort of sexy maternal vibe. We know she can handle an action scene, but she also has buckets of charisma.

Anika: And we all met her as a spy!

Liz: Yes!

Anika: It's perfect.

Liz: Yep. As usual, it's a mystery to me why the entertainment industry isn't literally beating down my door

Anika: You know what, I wouldn't -- like, they don't even have to pay me at this point.

Liz: Oh, no, they have to pay me. I don't work for free. But I will accept payment in Australian dollars, which is a great deal if you're American. I was going to say, do we have much more to say? Could we just make this a short episode and I can take my pollen-filled head and--

Anika: The only thing I want to say is that I -- I wanted to discuss McCoy. Because I think he has an interesting role in both of these episodes.

Liz: More than usually, he's the voice of reason and humanity.

Anika: Yes. And I think I said earlier that "Balance of Terror" does a lot of heavy lifting for the McCoy and Kirk relationship. And I think just establishing McCoy as that, you know, center, heart and conscience of the Enterprise crew.

Liz: It's actually interesting how little Spock has in terms of an emotional arc in "Balance of Terror".

Anika: What's interesting about Spock in "Balance of Terror" is that it's not about him.

Liz: Yeah. Which I think is sort of a metaphor for bigotry, in a way, that it doesn't really matter who a person is.

But the most interesting thing for Spock in this episode is that he makes a mistake and gives away their location. And that's so unlike him, and it's the closest hint we ever get to the emotional turmoil he may or may not be suffering in terms of the revelations about the Romulans.

I'm sorry, I just need to duck out for five minutes, but just keep recording and resume when I get back?

Anika: Okay.

Liz: Sorry.

Anika: That's okay.

Liz: Are you there?

Anika: Yes.

Liz: So sorry, my breakfast all of a sudden disagreed with me.

I was going to say, it is so interesting how there are things that have sort of been tacked on to the Romulans later on, like the cultural drive for privacy and secrecy, they're sort of present in this episode, particularly the bit in "The Enterprise Incident" where the Romulan Commander receives a message from one of her officers. And it's not an intercom. It's like, conveyed through an earpiece. And just little things like that really pull it all together and make it consistent accidentally.

Anika: But those are the bones that we built all of our canon on.

Liz: I know. And it's great!

Anika: And those headcanons became Romulan culture, because, you know, it's sort of like [how] Hikaru Sulu wasn't Sulu's name until Star Trek VI. Like, he didn't have a first name, but it became his name. It was like the fandom's accepted name. I think it was in a novel at one point. And then in Star Trek VI, he was like, I'm Captain Hikaru Sulu. And that was his name from then on, you know, it was like, it became canon.

And in similar ways, like, everybody talks about Romulan culture until a point where it becomes real, and it becomes part of the actual story.

Liz: Yes, I just love being able to go back and see the seeds of these ideas.

Anika: That's, yeah, absolutely. That's super fun. But so what I was saying about McCoy--

Liz: Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry.

Anika: It's, it's fine. You have to edit this.

It's just that it's interesting to me that in the first episode in "Balance of Terror", he is very, like, "Hey, we should, you know, be friendly, and we shouldn't go to war, we shouldn't assume that they're going to attack us, we definitely shouldn't attack first." And, "Hey, everybody, you know, and let's take some steps back and take a breather."

And in "The Enterprise Incident", he's like, so "I'm meant to pretend that Kirk dies, and then we're going to turn him into a Romulan, so he can totally steal a cloaking device."

And it's like, Okay, what happened to Dr McCoy? But I think it was the first episode, like, I can sort of see an arc for it. And I think that's interesting.

Liz: Yes, and also, I think that there's still a cloaking device mission. If they pull it off, which they did, there are very few casualties. Like, I think one guy's injured, and that's it. And I feel like McCoy--

Anika: From the McCoy standpoint, I think this is what I was getting at poorly. But now I'm going to get at it well. From a McCoy standpoint, "If I help, you know, Kirk plan the trademark Kirk plan, to work and and not kill off anybody on our side or their side, and have this bloodless battle and war, then I will have helped the cause and stopped the battle that would have occurred and the deaths that would have occurred if I didn't do this." I can totally see McCoy talking himself into that.

Liz: Yes, yes. And I also wonder if he came up with the ruse of faking Kirk's death, because it seems to be kind of a go-to move for him generally.

Anika: He did that. He knows how to do that well.

Liz: Yeah. He's had a lot of experience!

Anika: And he's now tricked Vulcans and Romulans into thinking that Kirk's dead, which is, I think, a particular achievement.

Liz: Hashtag goals. Am I right?

Anika: I like that. I mean, obviously, Kirk, Spock and McCoy are the trinity. And so obviously, they're gonna have big roles and stuff, but I liked that they did all get something to do in each of these episodes.

Liz: Yes. I also felt very bad for Chekov, the way Kirk snaps at him in the opening scene. Like, the poor boy is just doing his job, but he doesn't know you're playing a role. Maybe we need some sort of Original Series Lower Decks that's just Chekov going, "Why is the captain picking on me?"

Anika: Poor Chekov. Honestly, Chekov gets yelled at a lot.

Liz: Justice for Chekov.

Anika: He could form a support group with Harry Kim. Which I would love to read if anyone wants to write that for me.

Liz: Yeah, I would go for that. Please, someone write it and send it to us.

Anika: And then, you know, in "Balance of Terror", we have Janice Rand [being] sort of like, "Hey, Captain Kirk, I'm here for you." And then, in "The Enterprise Incident", we sort of have the, "Hey, I know that I've already lost Spock but I'm still gonna keep trying to get Spock" scene with Chapel. It's like, I don't know, they both have this weird -- it's both sort of sad and desperate, but also, you know, okay.

Liz: Yeah, I think it's a mistake to have both the significant recurring female characters in positions of unrequited love. Put it that way.

Anika: Unrequited love. Yeah. And they both had a sort of similar aesthetic. They're very feminine. They're very, like, I don't know, I guess -- it's not like Uhura isn't feminine, so it's all of them, all women on the show.

Liz: I think, particularly, Rand and Chapel seem similar because they're both blonde and they're both a little older than you would expect for that sort of ingenue role. Which is not a criticism. It's just an interesting casting choice.

Anika: I can see that. And they're both in pretty subservient roles. Supportive roles. And because, again, because it was the '60s, they were more subservient than they should have been, perhaps.

Liz: Yes. And they both go on to positions of more authority in the movies.

Anika: Right.

Liz: Not that we ever see much of Chapel as a doctor, but...

Anika: But we know that it happens. And Rand, too, you know, we only get a few glimpses of her, but--

Liz: And the whole Voyager episode--

Anika: The Voyager episode is really -- like, I love that that's our last view of Rand. And it's it's such -- it really, like, repairs her legacy for me, because I can I can imagine everything she was doing in between. And it makes me happy.

Liz: And the way we know Grace Lee Whitney was mistreated on set, it feels like a vindication for her as well. That she gets to have a position of authority, and she gets to have scenes with the first female captain.

Anika: Okay, I'm gonna cry. Anyway--

Liz: Oh, one final thing before we wrap up! You know all these scenes in "Balance of Terror" in phaser control, and manually charging the phasers?

Anika: Yes.

Liz: I think that's really cool. And I really wish that it had been a regular thing in Discovery.

Anika: I mean, that's a super, like, submarine plot thing, right? I feel like every -- and I don't go out of my way to watch submarine movies, but I've definitely seen the popular ones. And I those are the scenes I remember--

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: It takes so long to do everything on a submarine.

Liz: Yes! If that had been incorporated into Discovery, I feel like it would have been a really good way to demonstrate that, even though the effects and the sets and the trappings are much more modern than The Original Series--

Anika: Yes! You know, you're right.

Liz: --this is still an older setting than what we're used to.

Anika: And, you know what, you could even have, like, everything except the spore drive be that way. So the spore drive is its own thing, like, you could have this instantaneous dangerous side. But everything else would be in the old style. I like that idea for grounding Discovery.

Liz: And also for ramping up the tension, and I can just imagine, you know, Lorca drilling the phaser crews endlessly. Not that that show really needs more side characters, but what if it had more side characters?

Anika: Well, I mean, yeah.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: It'd be good. It'd be good. I like it.

Alright, so do you have any final thoughts on TOS Romulans before we wrap up?

Liz: Mainly that I'm just really glad that Picard has returned us to an era where Romulans can have a variety of hairstyles.

Anika: Yes. I mean, and personalities.

Liz: Yeah! And also, I think Elnor would look super cute in the electric blue uniform with the culottes and the crochet and ... yeah.

Anika: That's kind of cute. Someone out there, draw that for us. Okay? I'll commission you. 'Cos Liz is right and we shouldn't work for free.

Liz: Yeah, yeah. Art is valuable. Even if it's really silly.

Anika: Send me your requirements, and I'll get back to you.

Thank you for listening to Antimatter Pod. You can find our show notes at antimatterpod.tumblr.com, including links to our social media and credits for our theme music.

You can also follow us on Twitter at @antimatterpod, and at Facebook -- search for Antimatter Pod.

If you like us, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you consume your podcasts. The more reviews, the easier it is for new listeners to find us. We get raised up.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: And join us in two weeks we'll be discussing the season premiere of Star Trek: Discovery. It's back, guys!

Liz: I'm so, so excited to move on from my feelings about season two. New Trek, new hair, it's going to be great.

Anika: Yes, exactly. I want to put it all down because I continuously get annoyed with Discovery, and I want to go back to loving it.

Liz: I would like have new things to be annoyed at

Anika: That too! That'll work. I just want to be passionate. Any passion is good.

Liz: It's 2020 and I just want to feel something.

Anika: Oh my gosh.

[tyleroakley-obsessed]

Today, I took a cupcake break with two people who made me laugh for a solid two hours last night: Rob McClure and Maggie Lakis. They’re the stars of “Something Rotten!”, the Broadway musical playing at the Orpheum through this Sunday. I’ll get to my quick Q&A with them, but first let me tell you about the cupcakes and this show. First, the cupcakes: Huge thank you to 2 Girls and a Whip who made these adorable “Something Rotten!” themed cakes – which will make wonderful sense if you see the show, promise. Read more about their downtown cakery here. Then, the show: It’s the story of two brothers in the Renaissance who are competing with Shakespeare. They hate Shakespeare (really, there’s a song called “God, I Hate Shakespeare”) and they desperately need to write a hit. One brother, Nick, goes to a soothsayer for inspiration and finds out that the future of theater is…musicals. So they try to write the world’s first musical. Cast of the Something Rotten! National Tour. © Jeremy Daniel I have never laughed this much at a show. And the singing and dancing and acting were on point, too. There are references to all your favorite musicals, but I’d say 90 percent of the humor is just funny because it’s funny, no need to be an expert of the Bard or Broadway.    I don’t want to give too much away, so instead I’ll share with you a few of the thoughts that went through my head while watching it. (Note: The adult humor and innuendo makes this show PG-13, and so my thoughts will be, too. Proceed at your own risk.) —That first song just cracked my shit up. I was not expecting that! —Did they just rhyme “penis” with….genius? —UGH I hate this Shakespeare, too! But he’s kind of hot. —I think my dad would actually like this show, and he is not a musical kind of guy. —Plague jokes. Tap dancing. This is great. —This lady [Bea Bottom] is my hero. Badass woman, just out here TCB. Get ’em, Bea! —They can’t be committing to this one joke…oh…YES THEY ARE. They’re really doing this. —The Puritan Father is my new favorite “villain” in all of Broadway-dom. He’s too much. OK, now that I’ve sufficiently sold it, here’s a quick recap of my Q&A with Rob and Maggie, the cutest onstage/in-real-life couple ever. Holly: Hi! Tell us about yourselves and your characters. Rob: I’m Rob McClure. I grew up in New Jersey, started doing theater in high school and I’ve been doing it professionally for 20 years. I play Nick Bottom. Shakespeare fans will know the character of Nick Bottom from Midsummer Night’s Dream, but you don’t have to be an English major to enjoy the show. He is a playwright in the Renaissance who is competing with Shakespeare, who he hates because – let’s face it – he’s jealous of his success. Maggie: I’m Maggie Lakis. I’m from Philadelphia, been acting for about 20 years. I am very lucky to be doing this! I play Bea Bottom. We play a married couple and we are married in real life. In the show, Bea knows something’s bothering Nick, but he’s got pride issues and he’s not sharing with her. She wants to help the family, but it’s the Renaissance, so women are not allowed to work. So she has to be a little sneaky. She dons a bunch of disguises, in the tradition of Shakespeare, women wearing men’s clothing. It’s fun, I get to play a person who plays other people I get this great song at the beginning, and then I get to be silly for the rest of the show. Something Rotten! National Tour. © Jeremy Daniel Rob: Her song is one of my favorites; it’s called “Right Hand Man”, when she’s trying to convince me to let her help. If you haven’t heard Maggie sing – you should hear Maggie sing. Holly: So wait – the two are you are married in real life???! That’s too cute. How did you meet? Rob: We met in a production of Grease in New Jersey playing Doody and Frenchie in 2005. It was pretty immediate. Maggie: Yeah, the connection was pretty quick. There’s a lot of sitting around and waiting on tech – you’re holding for lights – and that’s when you usually get to know each other. Rob: I remember there was a scene in Grease where we were outside on picnic blankets. And we tech-ed that scene for hours and I just remember sitting on that blanket, laughing and laughing. That’s when she told me that her favorite movie is JAWS and I was like, “OK I dig this chick.” Maggie: I knew he liked me because he kept saying – at the time I was dating someone – but he kept saying “If you were single, I’d marry you.” Rob: It was really subtle. Cast of the Something Rotten! National Tour. © Jeremy Daniel Holly: When you first read “Something Rotten!”, what surprised you about it? Maggie: It’s a new show; it’s not an adaptation of a movie or a book, and it’s not a revival. That’s something that’s hard to come by these days. It gives you that unabashedly classic musical theater experience: you get the beautiful costumes and the amazing production numbers and you get laughs – lots of laughs – it gives you everything. Rob: If you love musicals and you love Shakespeare, then you’ll love the show. If you hate Shakespeare or hate musicals, you’ll love it as well. It pays tribute to these things while simultaneously making fun of them. Holly: Yeah, I think my dad might actually like this one. Rob: It’s such an accessible experience, because it’s so funny – funny to anyone. People have a really good time. Cast of the Something Rotten! National Tour. © Jeremy Daniel Holly: Why should people go see the show? Rob: You should come see “Something Rotten!” because it’s been crafted by geniuses. Casey Mc , who directed this, was choreographer on Spam-A-Lot, directed Book of Mormon, directed Aladdin. if you like laughing, he’s literally an expert on making you laugh. He’s a genius of a choreographer, and there’s throwbacks to big musical theater numbers. Maggie: Lots of tap dancing. Also, you know, it’s a show where you can kind of turn off from the world a little bit. It’s not a topical show. There might be a couple lines…but it’s actually not a topical show. You can go and turn off your phone and sit back and relax and you’ll feel like you can just enjoy yourself. Holly: It’s a really fast-paced show, too. Rob: Right, there’s no time for you to get distracted, it starts and it doesn’t relent until it’s over and people are willing to go along with the ride because it’s a fun one. Holly: Is this y’all’s first time in Memphis? Maggie: It’s our second. We were here ten years ago – when we were dating, we were touring with Avenue Q – so this is our second time. It’s awesome to go back to the places we loved last time and then to see all the new places. We’re going to Graceland, Sun Studio, the Civil Rights Museum. Rob: Maggie is going to be honorary Duckmaster at the Peabody on Friday! I can’t wait! [Here we descend into a whole conversation about where to eat and barbecue. I tell them about BBQ nachos.] Holly: Thanks y’all! Get more info about Something Rotten! and get your tickets on the Orpheum’s website. Are you a home owner in Memphis, with a broken garage door? Call ASAP garage door today at 901-461-0385 or checkout https://ift.tt/1B5z3Pc

http://ilovememphisblog.com/2018/04/something-rotten-something-sweet-eating-cupcakes-and-meeting-broadway-actors/