#and it was a full house too yall so I’m so fucking proud of our boys for getting all that love

[bootyful-seventeen]

And also our concert fucked up traffic so bad that many of the busses taking the similar route had to take detours and tell people to transfer to another one cuz it was so bad

[gumbxz]

🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

eddie munson x reader

reader is polynesian and plays volleyball !! she teaches eddie how to play thinking he wants to learn, but eddie is really doing this to check her out..oh and some poly phrases that’ll be used i shall translate if your yall 💯

btw this is kinda short so sorry ☹️

poly slang:

lick - fight/beat up

fuckah - fucker lol

shoutout to my fellow poly girls, i see you, i’m lurking and in stalking when you least expect it.))

🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

eddie couldn’t keep his eyes off you. i mean no one can. you look like an absolute goddess. of course you didn’t have much friends besides some of the jocks who really thought their pride could beat you in a short game of volleyball. the amount of power you had every time you spiked that volleyball sent him.

he’d sit everyday on the bleachers and just watch you. you never cared really. you were too focused to pay attention to him. from afar he thought you were taller then him, but up close man, you were a little smaller then him, but your thighs could definitely crush him. and he would die a happy man.

dustin and mike would catch onto why he’d cancel nearly every saturday night session. as soon as they found out, eddie was pissed. even threatens to kill them if they told anyone. they haven’t let out a peep.

one day the jocks were catcalling you and calling you some pretty fucked up shit.

“hey! why don’t you quit volleyball and show us some hula.”

“let’s see your coconuts!!”

this pissed him off. seeing you get called out in the middle of the cafeteria just made you go literal ape.

“watchu want ‘den you fuckah! i’ll lick your friends in one fight if you talk smack to me, brah.”

what beautiful and elegant native tongue, eddie had thought to himself. you never really showed much of your accent since it was pretty mellow. but when you did, everyone could tell you was def a polynesian. and you were proud. of course you had to leave home because of how bad your family had it, but you miss home everyday.

after that, eddie finally spoke to you for the first time. a full blown conversation.

“um hey! i like the way you hit the ball.”

“hm? you talkin’ to me?”

“yeah! i’m eddie. you’re (y/n), right?”

“ho, you stalkin me hoale!”

“ uh what does that mean..?”

“basically one white person. but i like you. you have nice hair.”

“oh! haha..thanks ! can you uh, show me how to play volleyball..?”

you smile and tell him to follow you to the volleyball court. he couldn’t stop staring at your legs. they were both plushy but full of muscle…he wanted to bite them but refused.

“alright, you stand infront of me and i’ll stand here okay. you’re gonna have to squat and pop your bum out and have your arms stretched out, ‘kay?”

he nodded his head, and you spiked the ball. and he was too late and got hit in the fuckin face. he lost balance and fell back and held his face. “SHIT!” you shouted and tan towards him. holding his face and seeing his nose was bleeding.

“shit- i’m so sorry, edds.”

“nah nah- i’m forever thankful and in your debt..sweet warrior princess.”

the face you made was terrifying, not a single sign of happiness. yet you bursted out laughing. a laugh he didn’t think he’d hear come from you. it made him feel all fuzzy inside.

“you’re one funny guy, yeah? i like you.”

you began petting his hair and playing with it, making him tremble in your lap. your eyes were captivating as always.

“what’s it like where you’re from..? is it always sunny.”

he wipes his nose with his sleeve, the leather covered in a dark maroon. you help him up in the process and think of what words to say.

“well, it’s sunny and nice. shitty me and my family had to leave cuz we got evicted. they were building fancy houses in our land. so we had to leave.”

“shit, that’s fucking fucked. i’m sorry to hear you go through that, i’m glad you’re here now. hope it’s just as awful as it is here.”

“trust me it is, but, you seem like someone genuine and not fake. i like you a lot. you have pretty hair too.”

he couldn’t say anything and just stood there. cheeks pinks while you touch his hair and fix his bangs.

“you wanna go eat out?”

“yes please!”

“uh..like get some dinner, brah..”

“oh YEAH! of course, that sounds amazing!! take out or dinning in??”

“hm, i guess take out would be nice. i like crash your place.”

“y-yeah…sure…”

🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

i feel like, me personally, if eddie met an independent and overall tough ass girl, he’d go instant puppy mode hehe - gummy

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on 11x06

I had to come back to type this after the episode. I was gonna wait to post until more people are active but everyone’s safety is more important than notes. This was really hard for me to watch. It took me two hours because I kept needing a break. It’s a tough one yall. It’s heartbreaking and really brought out issues I didn’t know I was still dealing with until I reacted so badly to some stuff. Take care of yourselves and I’m here if you need to talk. I’ll have timestamps for major tws in another post coming right after this. I just gotta go back and get the end of those scenes. I only go the time they started.

Okay. So. There’s some trigger warnings that I’ve reblogged earlier. This recap WILL have thoughts about those triggers. If you think you’ll be triggered just message me or send me an ask and I’ll give you the non triggering recap. Stay safe please.

Kev and v intro. They’re having sex behind the bar

I’m extremely nervous for some reason I might not be able to get through this

Bike heist!!

LICKEY RIGHTS

LIP CALLS HIM MICK

MISSION IMPISSIBLE

Mickey is unimpressed

Lip telling Mickey what to do yes please

Fucking Mickey omg

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

THE WAY HE SAYS BRAD

Again Mickey is unimpressed

Lip :(

MICKEY CONCERNED ABOUT LIPS SOBRIETY

AGAIN I SAY LICKEY RIGHTS

Frank is falling the chick he’s boning Monica

Not sure that’s her real name

Wait yeah it is

Frank??? Has to get to work???

Wait her name isn’t Monica

Oh shut now I get what’s happening

“Can I speak to Pope Francis please” LIAM 😭

Poor baby

Lip cooking breakfast. Hot.

I forgot about camis baby

I actually beep bad for lip and Tami

We already heard this argument with Mickey and Ian get new material writers

PRODIGAL THEIF

PINK BOX HES SO CUTE

HE LOOKS SO CUTE GOTTA SQUEEZE HIM PLS

Yeah don’t tell Carl that traitor

MICKEY BROUGHT DONUTS PLS

HES SO CUTE

ITS TOO MUCH

I LOVE HIM

HIS SMILE!!!!!!!!

GALLAGHER YOUTH

THAT MEANS MICKEY TOO BYE

CARL CALLING HIM MICK TOO PLS

I CANT TAKE IT

Poor Liam he’s terrified

“I was hoping the fucker would just die” :(

Shut up Debbie

Mickey is beautiful

Leave Mickey out of it debbie goddamn

I cant fucking stand her

Frank just observing his kids and smiling

Same frank

SHUT UP DEBBIE

OH MY GOD HIS LAUGH IS THIS WHAT YOU HEAR WHEN YOU FIRST GET TO HEAVEN????

“And the smartest” lol

Someone save Liam

“I want Sandy”

We all do kid

Fucking manipulative little I CANT STAND DEBBIE

Sandy deserves better

I hate the Milkovichs!!!!

How did smart sensitive sweet beautiful loving Mickey come from this disgusting family????

MICKEY IS THE BOSS

My heart hurts so him

“Homo sexy” dear god

Mickey is too good he deserves so much better

I love him so much

Let him be happy

Mickey has the biggest heart

They’re actually talking and not fighting

CHAPO STFU

You’re so funny and smart and beautiful don’t forget that baby

SUGAR TITS

And no one is fazed lmao

“He’s actually my uncle and my dad” I fucking hate this show

I forgot Carl makes legit money now

Wtf kinda school is this

This is so fucked up

The twins are so adorable

SHUT UP DEBBIE

“You guys” I hate that but also she’s acknowledging Mickey as “hers” and he’s family :(

Okay this horrifying comment

I hate that it’s just nonchalant

Debbie just keeps talking.

Let’s move on

Mickeys face when she says “butt naked”lmao

LIP CALLING HIM MICK AGAIN

“Talk to you for a minute?”

“Yes. Please”

I LOVE IT

Mickey is unimpressed by lip once again and I’m smiling

They love each other they’re secretly best friends ITS A FACT

HAND SHAKE SO CUTE

MY BABIES

“Blue like my balls” fucking frank lol

They’re going in on Frank’s storyline now

Boss Mickey at it again

Terry’s home

The way his face falls im sick

SANDY BABY

My heart is racing

Mickeys face is breaking my heart

Great now I’m crying

Mickey got emotional

Ian sensed it and touched his neck all fucking sweet

Okay I had to take a little break because I started crying

I love him too much

Fucking Noel is so damn good

My heart is fucking breaking

“Frank’s not a homophobic psychopath who tortured you for years”

Please Mickey deserves better

I don’t wanna hear any Ian slander either.

In this house we protect my son and my son in law I will fight you

“Let’s get the fuck outta here. Lip you coming?” 😭

That was so hard to watch yall. I’m not gonna lie to you. My parents weren’t half as shitty as terry but growing up feeling unloved your whole life fucks you up anyway and that brought out some emotions and feelings I didn’t realize I still dealt with. I had to pause for a good while and cry.

Leave Sandy alone debbie

Terry is disgusting

Okay the homophobic language he uses is definitely triggering so I’ll time stamp that too

Debbie you selfish bitch

Everyone leaving terry outside it’s a yes from me

I honestly can’t concentrate on the other scenes now I’m sorry y’all

I try to cover everyone’s scenes but it’s hard for me today

I’m not okay

Liam is too innocent poor kid

MICKEY LIP AND IAN THE BEST TRIO

We need more scenes

I PAUSED TO TYPE AND THE FUCKING LOOK HES GIVING HIM STOP

They’re besties

Mickey is beautiful

MY BABY BUSINESS BOSS MAN I LOVE YOU

he really hasn’t called him Philip the entire episode wtf

Ignoring Debbie

Now I want fries

Carl is cringy

Mickey drove them home and pulled a gun

Honestly again another heartbreaking scene

Ian’s trying to make him stop

Terry is disgusting and also a coward but we’ve been knew

Noel is the most amazing

Mickey gets teary but doesn’t cry bc I cried enough for the both of us

He’s the strongest bravest ever and I’m so proud of him

I need a hug

My heart hurts so much y’all

I just want him to be happy

I’m a fucking mess

I can’t handle Lip being emotional too

Oh I thought lip wanted to sell the house for himself only but at least they all get their share

Horrible music choice

I wanna tuck Mickey in with his favorite tv show on(911) make him his favorite food to eat in bed and not let anyone but Ian around him for a good 72 hours

The way Ian is looking at him

“Would you take care of me if I was paralyzed?”

“....yeah. Yeah”

“Top you whenever I wanted” “asshole”

His smile is back that’s all I need in life

MICKEY IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD

RIP DOWN THAT FLAG YES BABY

“That was big of you” “he’s an asshole...I wanna be better than that”

WHEN I TELL YALL I LOST IT I MEAN FULL ON SOBBING

YOURE ALREADY A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN THAT PIECE OF SHIT

YOURE SO KIND AND BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT

Ian’s like “back of the head? Gotta grab and hold my boy”

“You are so much better than that” IAN MY SWEET SON IN LAW I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR LOVING OUR BOY SO WELL

IAN IS THE MOST SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND

V spitting truth

I want terry to fucking suffer

Don’t do it frank

“Nah” LMAO

Frank loves his son in law

Sandy I love you

I need to hold her

No debbie I LOVE HER

NO SANDY LOVE ME INSTEAD

DEBBIE DOESNT DESERVE YOU

Carl scene was so awful I feel so bad for him this girl is a fucking psycho

That was an actual rape scene what the fuck

Mickey making frank laugh

Debbie explaining? Really?

I hate her

“How long is this gonna take? I’m fucking starving Lip” WHY WONT YOU CALL HIM PHILIP

“We could get on with our lives” well that hurt more than it should’ve

It’s really the end soon huh? 😢

According to captions Ian says “we’re in”

Frank reads his diagnosis

Carl goes to report his rape

That took me nearly two hours to watch. Yeah I usually pause to type but I had to take long breaks after the hard scenes. It was a really hard episode to watch. A lot darker than it has been. I’m not really okay right now. It was emotional but a really good episode overall.

[sinplisticshawn]

get your kicks - prologue: home

pic cred shawnmendesgallery

A/N: hello hello happy new year friends!!!!! this shitshow of a story is brought to u by my procrastination and @evansweaters​ ’s 2k writing challenge. i haven’t written in a loooooong ass time, but i really wanna get back into it so even if it sucks im kinda okay with that. gotta start somewhere!!!! so yeah here we go. hope i do ya proud sami. 

prompt: road trip au + shawn mendes (ft. college!shawn and best friend!shawn)

warnings: language, some heavy-handed exposition pls forgive me lol

word count: 1.7k

______

Amelina had fully expected the house to be empty when she walked in. Four in the afternoon on a Thursday meant her parents were both still at work, and if she remembered correctly, Luis would still be in his last period history class that he raved about every time he called. All of this in mind, she found it completely fair that she screamed bloody murder when all six feet and two inches of white man greeted her with a tackle from behind and a shout of her name.

“Shawn, you absolute ass, what are you doing?” she questioned with a glare when he laughed with his whole body.

“Waiting for you to get home?” he said as if it should be obvious why he was in her house alone when his own home was right next door. “Rosalia said you were coming home today and that I was welcome to wait on you. So I did. I missed you.”

Amelina finally caught her breath and relaxed into his tackle, letting it become a hug. His grip loosened when he dropped his head beside hers and spoke — a little softer that time with his voice muffled in her shoulder.

“Seven months was too long, Lina.”

She squeezed his arm.

“I know.”

______

“Oh my god, and did I even tell you Liyah has a boyfriend now too?”

The incredulous look on Shawn’s face and the way he dramatically dropped the butter knife and bun he had been holding made Lina snort before casting her mother a knowing glance. Lina and Shawn had spent some time at the dining table catching up on their semester apart before her mother arrived shortly after her. After properly welcoming her daughter home, Rosalia asked them to make themselves useful and get started on dinner.

“Does she now?” Lina said, doing her best to seem oblivious as she tossed the veggies in the pan.

“Yeah! I’m gone for half a semester and I come back and she’s all curled up with this Rohail kid on our couch!”

“Rohail? That’s one of Luis’s friends. Nice boy,” Rosalia said.

“I don’t care if he’s a nice boy, she’s fifteen. Why does she even—”

“Lina, have you booked your flight yet?”

Shawn’s tantrum was cut short when Lina’s father called out to her from just outside the kitchen. He had arrived a bit after her mother and made a beeline for his bathroom after giving his daughter a hug. Fully refreshed and having changed out of his work suit and into his favorite cargo shorts, he walked in with his head down, phone in hand.

Lina could feel Shawn’s eyes boring into her back.

“Uh no– no, I haven’t.”

“Your flight?”

The two spoke at the same time, her voice suddenly nervous and his almost concerned. She didn’t take her eyes off of the sautéing onions and peppers.

“Yeah. LAX. I have an interview.”

Her voice stayed steady, but she let herself sneak a peek over her shoulder. Confusion was clear on Shawn’s face, but the slight tilt to his lip suggested hurt. 

“Interview?” was all he managed to stutter out.

“My little Lina is in the final round of interviews for a very prestigious internship,” her father announced, pocketing his phone and crossing the kitchen to kiss her head with a massive grin. He really couldn’t be prouder, but in that moment, Lina found herself almost wishing he cared just a little less. Or at least was quieter about it.

“Oh shit,” Shawn said, his voice much softer than it was mere minutes before when he was talking about his sister. “Congrats, Lina. That’s real big.”

“Thanks,” she said quietly.

Sensing the tension, her mother cleared her throat and gestured to the window that faced the street.

“Looks like your parents are back, mijo. Amelina, why don’t you go say hello and invite them over? You dad can finish up here.”

Rosalia took the spatula and pan from her daughter and shoved them towards her confused husband. Lina nodded, thankful for her mother. She kissed her father’s cheek as a quick way of saying don’t worry, you’re only kind of in trouble before she gestured to the door at Shawn.

“So LA, huh?”

He fought to keep his voice even, walking casually with his hands in his pockets and kicking at rocks as they crossed the street to his house.

“Yeah. Yeah, LA.”

“So would you like… leave UC?”

“Nah, it’s just a one-semester co-op kinda thing. I’d be in LA for the spring taking online classes and working full time, then I go back next fall.”

“Oh okay.”

“Lina!”

Before the front door of the Mendes house was full open, Aaliyah barreled towards Lina.

“I missed you. Don’t leave me again for that long, damn.”

“Missed you too, hun,” Lina responded, finally letting go of Shawn’s little sister. “How is my favorite girl doing? How’d your one-month go?”

“It was so cute, Lina, oh my god. We went to the drive-in and—”

“You what?!” Shawn broke his silence, quickly moving from where he had been watching from the door. The smile he wore watching the reunion fell immediately and was replaced with a scowl. “And you!” he whipped his head towards his best friend. “You knew!”

Lina shrugged. Shawn huffed.

“No respect in this damn house.”

He brushed past his mom, quickly kissing her head before stalking off to the bathroom. Karen threw Aaliyah an inquisitive look as she entered the living room before rolling her eyes at her son’s dramatics. Finally, she made it to Amelina and enveloped her in a hug.

“Welcome home, love.”

______

Evening found the Mendes clan spread out through the Moreno’s living room in a post-dinner laze. Lina’s parents were in deep conversation with Manny while Karen, Lina, and Shawn grilled Aaliyah about her new relationship, but Lina’s attention was admittedly elsewhere. From where she was sitting, her entire left side pressed against Shawn’s right, she could feel his other leg shaking and his fingers picking at a thread in her jeans – an old habit of his that she had grown used to when they were younger but which felt oddly foreign after months apart. Like hers, his attention seemed split as he was only barely participating in the conversation he was so passionate about just hours earlier. While Aaliyah gave a dramatic retelling of her adorably disastrous first date, Lina turned to Shawn.

“You okay?”

As if the string suddenly stung, his movements froze, and he jerked his hand away. He mashed his lips the way he did when he was deciding whether or not to tell the truth.

“Can we— can we go outside for a bit?”

Lina nodded with some concerned hesitation, following as he stood and pulled her with him. No one seemed to notice or care as they made their way out onto the patio swing where he pulled them both down with a huff. They sat quietly, pushing off against the fire pit in front of them to make the seat swing. Amidst the silence, it was like the words had been punched out of him when Shawn finally spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me about LA?”

“It’s not a sure thing yet,” Lina mumbled. “I didn’t want to cause a fuss.”

“That’s the shit we’re supposed to talk about though! The not-sure-yet things. The ‘maybe’s and the ‘hopefully’s and the ‘I don’t know’s. I mean, fuck, since when do you avoid causing a fuss with me? Since when am I the last to find out?”

Shawn had sprung out of his seat and was pacing in front of her. Everything he hadn’t said since they were in the kitchen together that afternoon came pouring out between short huffing breaths, and Lina didn’t know what to do except sit still and quiet and listen as her best friend told her everything she already knew.

“I had to find out about Andy through my mom. I had no idea you broke up with her until two weeks later, and by then, I felt like an idiot even asking about it.”

“Shawn, I’m sorry.”

“And we said we’d never go longer than three months. We just doubled that and—”

“I know, and I’m really sorry that I couldn’t—”

“I don’t want you to apologize, Lina, goddammit. I get it. Life happens. I just…” His voice caught in his throat. With a sigh, he fell back into the seat beside her with his eyes closed. His voice was softer when he spoke again.

“I feel like I’m losing my best friend.”

As much as she wanted to reassure him, to flick him on the forehead and ask are you stupid?! she knew he was right. She had felt it too, and she didn’t have the will to lie to him and say that she didn’t.

“It’s not…” she paused, gathering her thoughts. “You aren’t losing me. We’ve just drifted, I guess.”

“That’s almost worse. That’s what adults say.”

“I guess that makes us adults now.”

“I don’t wanna drift, though, Lina,” Shawn admitted in a small voice as her reached for her hand. She let him have it on instinct, and he relaxed just a bit.

A moment of thought spent tracing her thumb over his swallow tattoo bred an idea, and the grin that overtook her face had Shawn confused and a little scared.

“Then we won’t.”

______

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just fly, mija?”

“I’m sure. This will be so much better,” Lina told her dad, beaming as she pulled on the straps of her backpack.

“Ready?” Shawn called out to her as he approached from across the street with his own backpack slung over one shoulder.

Between them was the large white van that would be their home for the next several days. Packed with luggage and pillows and blankets to last them until California and painted with phrases like “ROUTE 66 BABY!” and “SUMMER BREAK 2K19” courtesy of Aaliyah and Luis, it was truly an eyesore. And Lina absolutely loved the sight of it.

“Ready!”

______

A/N: i don’t have an update schedule for this, but i hope to stay somewhat regular. feel free to yell at me if i don’t. i also don’t have a taglist yet but if yall would be interested in that just shoot me an ask! hope you liked it and happy new year!

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Director’s Commentary- Lovesick Side Effects, Lance recites his poem in public

My commentary is in bold italics!

With each poet who went up, Lance felt his limbs get weaker and weaker. Part of him wondered if he was going to pass out if he even tried to stand. Lol, honestly me projecting what it feels like to me every time I sign up to perform something. 

“Love, are you okay?” Keith whispered in his ear. “Do you want to leave?” 

“No, no I’m okay. I’m just… taking it all in.” 

Keith nodded and wrapped his arm around Lance’s torso to pull him in and rest his head on his shoulder. I just like gentle touches… also it was a struggle to keep Keith oblivious without making him look like a total dumbass for not catching on so I banked heavily on him thinking the poetry readings were just making Lance upset. 

After a few more performers, the host for the night went up to the microphone. “Alright, how’s everybody feeling?” The crowd responded with a cheer. “That’s what I like to hear! Okay, our next poet is new to the Spider House, so I want everyone to please give a big warm welcome to Lance McClain!” so spider house is real!!! It's in austin and I actually went there. Not for a poetry reading but they do those too. But yeah, this wasn't a huge reveal, I mean all the readers know what's happening. Originally I really wanted it to be as much of a surprise for readers as it was for Keith but so many of you guessed what would happen that I just embraced it. I do think it's better that you all got to join Lance on that experience. 

“What?” 

Lance gulped and stood up before he could think about it too much. He walked toward the stage as the host guided him to the stairs with a smile. “All yours,” she said, gesturing to the mic stand. 

“Thanks,” he said nervously. He walked up to the microphone, taking in all the people looking at him. Keith was frozen in the booth, staring at the stage in shock while Hunk and Pidge were both biting their nails. So, yeah, Hunk and Pidge knew. But they're still super nervous FOR Lance! It's a big deal and well Keith is still catching up. He isnt familiar with the version of Lance who goes on stage to read his poetry, especially since he was being so secretive about the poems. Of course. This is Lance, and Lance loves big gestures. “Hi everyone,” he said into the mic. “Uh… It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a stage and… recited anything, so I’m so nervous I think my legs are visibly shaking.” my legs did this once it was awful, so oof He cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair. The movement made his cologne waft toward him and he took another deep breath to root himself. The cologne wafting was supposed to be a callback to Allura. To the idea of having her there still, and having that security of knowing he can let them both exist and be loved in his heart without taking it from the other if that makes sense. I really tried adding as many "signs" as I could without making it cheesy or unrealistic aha. “This is new shit-” 

A chorus of people yelling back, “New shit!” interrupted him. This shit happens and it's glorious. It shows how interactive slam poetry or just recited poetry can be. It was familiar and encouraging and it made him smile. 

He dug into his pocket and pulled out a copy of the poem he’d revised time and time again. “I think I’ve got it memorized, but… like I said, it’s been a while, so….” plus anxiety can get the best of you. A cheer from the back made him smile again as he shut his eyes. Poetry crowds are SUPER supportive even when it's a complete stranger. Like the whole room understands and respects what it is to put poetry, this personal thing created by someone, out in the open to everyone and so everyone is super respectful and reactive and that was a big thing here for Lance especially when his poem gets harder to push through. 

“There was a time when, my mouth gave way to words as easily as, my lungs breathed. I imagine this with a certain beat or rhythm. People reciting poetry tend to move and speak a certain way that makes it kind of like a rap, it's hard to explain. I wrote about my aunt’s curly hair callback to the poem veronica mentioned way back! and my first crush, I wrote about the confusing cracks in my voice and the strange way my sister got angry at everything. Puberty. Just to show how the biggest and smallest things gave him a reason to write. Then I wrote about a girl, so beautiful she redefined existing.” okay so this line hit me as I was writing. Because I didnt want to make a typical comparison of beauty. While experiences can be universal, some things require uniqueness and I really needed his affection for Allura to show that. The phrase "redefined existing" just hit me as I was typing and it felt right. It felt perfect. It's not just living that gets affected, shes not beautiful like a rose shes just… so beautiful it made Lance have to redefine what it was to exist. To exist with her as a friend, as a lover. To exist without her. The idea of someone being so beautiful as to redefine existing, i think, lets the beauty remain ambiguous while at the same time pinpointing it to this one person in an emotional sense. Lance paused and took a shaky breath, preparing himself for the next line, for bringing the memory out for everyone else to feel. vulnerability. we know this concept well by now, huh? “The day I lost her I lost, my words- I tried to fit my grief my sorrow into pages, too thin to hold them. Also came up with that line on a whim and I was really proud of it. I liked the imagery of pain and sorrow so heavy that it weighs pages down. The concept of tears soaking through pages and making them fragile. The idea that all of his feeling just couldnt fit into a poem or a page. My words tasted….” Lance gulped and clenched his fist pressing it to his chest. The fist is because when I imagined him talking, I imagine him using his hands. Up to his mouth, spread out as if touching pages, bringing them down to demonstrate the weight I mentioned before. And before he can bring up his fist to pantomime the dirt in the next line, hes overwhelmed and well, he uses his heartbeat as well as the cologne scent on his wrist as a tether by touching his fist to his chest.

A few scattered claps encouraged him. He heard Hunk call out, “You got this, Lance!” at this point everyone knows how vulnerable and sensitive this is. And they know he needs support. Seriously, watch slam poetry videos the way crowds react is beautiful. 

He took a breath again and swallowed. “My words tasted like the dirt that slipped, from my fingers and into her grave.” His words began to shake, and he knew he couldn’t stop it, so he just tried to keep going. “They tasted like the last kiss, I shared with her, they tasted like, the goodbye I-" He broke off and cursed under his breath. He grabbed the microphone with the hand holding the poem and bowed his head. A stronger round of claps filled the break until he was able to pick his head back up and speak into the mic. “Like, the goodbye I never got to give her. They tw-twisted inside of me, clogged my throat until, I suffocated, they turned loss into, my own death. Here I imagined him twisting his hands, pantomiming a claw at his throat, pressing his hands against his chest harshly. I became an unrecognizable, shadow of myself, with a dimmed soul and a muted heart.” callback to his conversation with his mom when he told her about Keith! He opened his eyes, ignoring the tears that managed to slide down his cheeks, a small smile on his face. And here comes the transition. I really wanted to be careful with how much of the poem I gave Allura because she deserved more than a couplet, but I also didnt want the poem to be split in half. In the end this is a love poem to Keith. And they both know, hey Allura is gonna be part of this, and yes her presence may fluctuate, but I know what I feel for you and I'm not guilty and it's not a shadow or an echo. But this is who she was for me and while she taught me what it is to love, you taught me to love again. Kind of parallel to when he tells Keith that Allura made poetry easy but Keith brought it back into his life. I also wanted the transition to be tasteful not just BUT ANYWAY THEN WE FUCKED. Like. It's not that he just got over her it's that he genuinely felt the change and let it happen let that light back. “Then you walked into my life. It wasn’t a fairytale start- with longing gazes, across a cafe, or shoulders brushing, as we rushed to class, love at first sight…. It wasn't conventional, you could say haha. It was the bass beating under my feet,(music) at a stranger’s house, and barley breath (beer) note the repeated "b" sounds heh, literary devices yall.  forming a question that turned, my universe inside out- it was you. Our beginning wasn’t easy, I can’t really tell you when it began- was it that night your lips first touched mine or, was it the night you shared a piece, of the pain that built the walls around your heart?(roland, aka when Keith's attitude changed too) It was you, this new discovery, note the line break here. "This new discovery" while the full phrase is "this new discovery of me" the beauty of written poetry is finding the hidden lines and double meanings in line breaks that might say more or something different than the full phrase. In this case, the new discovery of feeling that way about a boy, the desire he felt, while at the same new discovery of a part of his identity and then it continues to: of me and what my heart could, hold. It was you, brushing the dust from, my heart and breathing life, back into it with every nose-scrunched smile, holding it in leather-clad hands until, it began to beat again, again, the line break here serves to emphasize the important part "it (my heart) began to beat again" When written that would be isolated and a focal point until I became the opposite of a shadow- you made me light both in terms of weight and luminescence the heavy feeling of loss became less, but hes also "not dim anymore"…. You made me warm…. Your kisses brought poetry back, to my tongue, made the words bloom in my chest until, they burst from my mouth, they taste like hot chocolate, dandelions and firsts and prayers. You taught me that, my heart could love two people, and you loved me for it. You showed me the, magic in small moments. You taught me… that, a boy could give a boy flowers, without the world exploding. You showed me a new side of resilience. Keiths resilience is something Lance really fell for and I think he mentions that in the chapter where they stay at Keith's and run in the rain and share a bath and all that fluff  You taught me, not to live in the past not to live for the future, but to exist, now with you… in a universe we’ve created and let that, be enough I hope I can be, again, line break! "Be enough I hope I can be" is kind of Lance's internal dialogue despite the line being half part of the previous phrase and half part of the following. Hes telling himself to be enough and that he hopes he can be but it's also of course part of the whole. enough for you.” He let his eyes fall to the booth where Keith was standing by the table with a hand at his mouth. Keith was absolutely standing for several reasons. He had half a mind to run up to the stage and kiss him. He had a lot of energy from the shock. When lance started to cry, he got up because he wanted to him. Hes anxious to touch him. Hes completely enraptured by Lance. He gets wrapped up in him when he recites poems, now hes performing it and it's meant for him and…. Yeah. Keith is aching to hold Lance. “Our beginning, wasn’t easy- wasn’t a fairytale. But I promise, there won't be an end I promise, you forever after I promise, again. Line breaks. There wont be an end I promise. (It's) You forever after I promise. Small pieces that are whole while also being parts of a whole. Poetryyyyy. Half the work is in the line breaks and it affe ts how one might read it aloud too! poems that will find new ways, to remind you, I love you.” how could I not end with I love you? 

Lance smiled and sniffed, keeping his eyes on Keith. “Surprise, mi vida.” okay. So I had no idea how I was supposed to bring him back from ALL OF THAT and… I mean yeah. Surprise, Keith. That was all for you. Lance did say he needed to find a new way to make it a surprise for you. 

[ladyfl4me]

oh fuck there’s 3,034 of you now, jesus christ

Thanks for being here, yall! I’m glad you’ve decided to stick around. This blog’s been around for about a year now, so now’s as good a time as any for an update on what I do and what I’ll be working on.

My AO3: 

All my TAZ fics hang out on https://archiveofourown.org/users/thor20/. The TAZ Amnesty fics I’m currently most proud of/am working on right now are:

The Moth who Came In from the Cold, a non-canonical 155k word alternate arc 4 fic that has been thoroughly jossed by Amnesty canon. It has nothing to do with the spy novel I stole the title from. If you’re one for nods to balance, full character arcs, partial-to-complete disregard for Griffin’s lore, and not one not two but three slowburn ship dynamics playing out at once, this is for you. This fic is complete.

The Children of Sylvain, the sequel to The Moth who Came In from the Cold - where we go into the history of Sylvain, its people, its choices, its government - and its secrets. Everyone has explaining to do. And everyone is important. I love our NPCs so fucking much. As of Chapter 5, it’s turning relatively steampunky and historical, and I’m really digging it so far, especially since I’m inventing an entirely new canon from Griffin’s. This fic is a work in progress, and currently stands at 33k words.

The Devil Went Down to Georgia, an 8k TMWCIFTC and TCOS-compliant oneshot about Ned and Boyd, and one of their final heists before the break-in at Aubrey’s house. This fic was written before Griffin even thought of bringing Boyd back, and as such, it’s completely noncanonical. But Boyd is the Jersey Devil. That’s all you need to know. This fic is complete.

The Secret Garden, a 40k character study of Hollis and their life in Kepler, from birth to present. In this universe, their mother was a dryad from Sylvain - and they’ve got a penchant for making things grow. And their older sister is Pigeon. Fuck yeah. It’s non-canon-compliant, which I totally embraced and accepted, and it’s got Hollice in it. This fic is complete.

My Ko-Fi:

If you like what I do and are able to support me, I’d really appreciate it! My Ko-Fi can be found here, at https://ko-fi.com/ctgr3791. No donation is too small. Thank you all!

Other stuff:

Sometimes I do music and dumb shit. 

Here’s a full-orchestra arrangement of Arms Outstretched.

And in complete counterpoint, here’s a mashup of the Amnesty theme and Megalovania. This is the youtube version, to torture your Discord music bots with to your heart’s delight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_BbCCiPQNU

What’s next?

For now, my biggest and most exciting project is The Children of Sylvain, which I linked to above. It’s my TMWCIFTC-compliant take on the Amnesty finale, and after the end of Amnesty I got rejuvenated into planning and publishing it. Griffin both gave me a lot to work with and stole a lot of my ideas (not literally, of course), so working on that bad boy is going to be a delight. 

After that, who knows? I’ll be keeping up with TAZ: Graduation, and depending on how much it appeals to me, a fic might just come out of that. We’ll see. I’m a busy college student and I’m getting into the actual meat of my creative writing degree, which means I might not have as much time - but I’ll still be chugging away, slow and steady, at TCOS.

Thank you, everyone, for your support. It means the world. Have a great day!

[luckycheesefoodie321]

LONG. ASS. AWAE 3X10. POST. SPOILERS.

What... what else can I say? AWAE 3x10 was *chefs kiss* perfection!

I don’t... there’s no better way to convey how I felt about the ep than my full live commentary as I

LOST MY GODDAMN FUCKING MIND THE ENTIRE EPISODE LONG

Y’all ready? SPOILERS

OK BUT FIRST OF ALL THAT GODDAMN SHOT BEFORE YOU EVEN PLAY THE DAMN EPISODE TELL ME ITS REALLLLL

That was a gnarly opener hooo Boi But excellent. Gilbert finally cut it off with Winnie. I appreciate her. She had every right to be angry. Gilbert explained it well. She walked off quite dignified even if she was heartbroken. If she’d been developed more as a character I feel like this scene would’ve been more of a kick in the guts bc Winnie had so much potential to be a great character... I wonder if she’ll pop up again...

---

Oh my god he broke up with Winnie and he’s still convinced Anne doesn’t love him BUT HES THERE IN MISS STACY’S HOUSE AND ANNE IS RIGHT THERE TOO OH MY GOD HES JUST STARING AT HER HOLY SHIT “Does anyone have the paper bag?” Oh Moody my child Holy shit this mutual pining gazes is so gooddddddd

---

They TIED OF COURSE THEY DID AND THEYRE SO HAPPY FOR EACH OTHER Oh my god “is there anything else you’d like to say” Anne stop my heart can’t take this BITCH GILBERT PLEASE JUST TALK TO HER YALL DONT KNOW HOW TO HAVE A PROPER CONVERSATION ISTG

---

Ok Diana have you talked to Jerry?? Are you gonna resolve that situation or no bc my boi needs closure!

---

Well fuck me goddamn what the actual hell. I can never properly like the Barry’s theyre just sooo goddamn ughhhhhhh let Diana be what she wants to beeeee OBLIGED DECEITFUL WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER DISLIKED A CHARACTER SO MUCH THESE TWO FACED MOTHERFUCKERS AT LEAST BILLY IS HONEST ABOUT HOW TERRIBLE HE IS

---

Jerry my boy my darling my love how are you? Bahahhahahaha hahahahaha talking corsets and our two men just get heckin awkward Aww Matthew you’re really doing that to Anne huh? But also yes let Jerry stay over he’s wonderful and partially your son anyway Oh honey no Matthew is definitely not saying that he just wants you to spread your wings

---

Mmmm look at this Bash and Hazel finally connecting??

---

WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE CUTHBERT HOUSE GILBERT OH MY GOD THE PEN IS THIS HOW THE PEN IS GONNA BE DUDE WTF NO WAIT WHAT IS HE GONNA WRITE A NOTE INSTEAD WAIT WAIT THEY BOTH WROTE EACH OTHER A LETTER AGAIN OH MY GOD OH MYU GOSNSHGZBSHS THAT LETTER WAS SO BEAUTIFUL MY ANNEWITH AN E HOLY CRAP OH MY GOD IT BETTER GET READ PS HERES YOUR GODDAMN PEN I can’t this letter scene is too much

---

THEY NAMED THE COWS PRIDE AND PREJUDICE What you doing Matthew my love?? Aww man she’s angry and now she can’t read Gilbert’s letter OH SHE IS GONNA READ IT NO GODDAMN IT ANNE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS Oh you stupid you and your damn temper goddamn go put the pieces together dummy

---

What if she just finds “thanks for the pen good luck at Queens” oh man imma riot YES FIND THE OTHER PIECES NOT JUST THOSE HE WROTE A BEAUTIFUL LETTER AND YOU GONNA MISUNDERSTAND Noooo she went to Diana’s goddamn girlll nooooooo that’s not the whole letter these two literal idiots he went to such lengths to ensure you’d get it and you won’t even find the whole thing and it was so beautiful

Oh my heart hurts Diana darling noooo

---

Oh I love me some Marilla time ooh Anne this is so nice

---

Oh shoot how did he see Elijah from there?!?? I was wondering when he’d come back

---

Oooh yes Marilla talk some sense into Eliza

---

I am HERE for this sisterhood between Anne and Miss Stacy

---

Oh Matthew sweetheart nooooo

---

Hmmm some redemption for Elijah?

---

Anne with her hair up saying goodbye to her childhood????? YES LOOK AT THESE WOMEN

“I can see that serious students such as yourself would never dream of disappointing or breaking the rules” *rolls over cackling*

Also yeah some deaf/mute rep

---

Ok so Elijah is getting another chance

---

COLE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN MY LOVE OH MY GOD ANNE IN THE BLUE DRESS Cole continuing to be the ultimate friend Anne baby it’s okay

---

OH MY GOD THEYRE GONNA MEET I love that Winnie always knew it was AnnE But damn was she pissed

---

WAIT SO NOW ANNE KNOWS DIANA WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING MR BARRY WTF GO GET HIM GIRL OOH DIANA TELL GILBERT WHATS UP

---

OH MY GOD DIANA PREACH THE TRUTH HOLY FUCK THIS IS HAPPENING

---

It happened. I threw pillows. I hit my elbow against the table. I just about died.

IT MOTHERFUCKING HAPPENED WE GOT CANON SHIRBERT YALL WE ARE EVERYTHING THAT KISS THOSE KISSES THERE WERE MULTIPLE PEN PALS YALL I’M THRIVING IT WAS AMAZING AND HE WENT BACK FOR MORE BC HE HAD TO RUN OFF

---

Diana is going to Queens thank god the Barry’s came around... And that ending was pure af I’m so glad Anne got her wish come true

-------

what...what do I say about this episode??? I have no goddamn clue but one thing we can all agree on:

SHIRBERT IS SAILING!!! WE GOT THE KISS YALL!!! THE WHOLE GIRL GANG IS GOING TO QUEENS!!! I’M SO PROUD!!! MOIRA THANK YOU FOR THIS BLESSING ON OUR LIVES

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

New to the AU? Start here!

Part 1

Chapter 40.5: NO! What Did You Say To Me?!

It’s the next day and couple had an extra pep to their step from last night’s adventure. Tenya was extra energetic going into work.

“Brother! Did you know McDonalds Sprite tastes like electricity?!” he chopped extra fast as he entered his brother’s office “I now understand.”

Tensei was extremely confused “I don’t know what Manual put in my coffee but did you just say McDonald’s Sprite tasting like electricity?” he looked in his coffee cup and sniffed it “Tenya did you drink coffee this morning? You’re awfully peppy and acting strange.”

“Nope! I’m just so full of good news!” Tenya said as he closed the door behind him and locked it.

“It must be! You don’t lock doors!” Tensei chuckled and put his mug down “what is it little brother? What do you need to tell me?”

“Tensei, I am a man” he puffed his chest out “yesterday I was just a boy but the universe was calling and they said that last night was the night I became a man!”

“Sooo you went to Mcdonalds last night?” Tensei was really trying to piece together what his brother was trying to get at “well the boys were saying that the McRib was back so I guess you had an experience?”

“What? No, well, I mean yea” he deflated a little because it was partially true “what I’m trying to say is that I proposed to Ita... AND SHE SAID YES!”

Tensei gasped and screamed “TENYA! Oh my gosh! I’m so proud of you” he rolled over to his little brother for a hug “tell me! how much did you spend on the ring? I bet you set everything up just right!”

“Oh ummm I didn’t have a ring” he meekly spoke “I sort of just impulsively took her to McDonalds and ate in the car in the peer-over parking lot. The moonlight hit her just right and I just...asked.”

“Wow, props to you” Tensei was somewhat impressed “you got yourself a genuine woman that loves you, any other girl would’ve said no or say to try again when you get a ring.”

-Meanwhile, at the Robo Dog INC office-

“AHHHH!” screamed Mimi and Jin, almost spilling her coffee.

“Ay mi cafe!” I stabled my cup of freshly poured coffee “guys what the hell?”

“My babygirl is gonna get married!” Mimi started sobbing “it seemed like yesterday we were building Muffin 2.0, now our girl is gonna change last names!”

“Man, what the fuck Ita! Now we gotta plan a whole ass wedding” Jin was sobbing and getting his tablet out.

“I didn’t ask-”

“NOPE TOO LATE! I’m already booking a venue hunting day” he tapped on his tablet “but damn, a bitch getting married! Soon you’ll have a whole house full of babies- OH GOD I’M GOING TO BE A UNCLE!”

“SHUT UP BITCH! THAT MAKES ME FEEL OLD” Mimi punched Jin in the arm, then held him “oh god, I’m going to be an aunty!”

“Can we refocus?” I said pulling them closer to my desk “I love you guys but yall always be jumpin ahead to shit that hasn’t happened yet” I sigh into a smile “but will yall be my maids of honor? Because I can’t think of any other bitches that would be down to throw hands for me on my special day.”

“You soft ass bitch of course!” they said as they hugged me from either side.

“I heard screaming!” Beizu panted as he ran into the moment “what’s going on?”

“Don’t-”

“ITA IS GETTING MARRIED!” Mimi and Jin yelled in unison.

“Oh gee-”

“AHHHH! THE BOSS IS GETTING MARRIED?!” Beizu cried out in excitement.

By the end of the day, our closest friends knew about our engagement. Mimi and Jin were helping with the planning already. I still had to tell my parents and his parents, my parents and siblings so happen to be visiting me on Christmas until my father’s birthday. I killed two birds with one stone and brought my family to the Iida family estate for Christmas.

“Oh wow fancy!” my mother cried out “oh do we have to take our shoes off mija?”

“No you don’t” I said taking off my scarf “but take off your coats and I’ll put them on the thing.”

“Almost 8 years living here and you’re still saying ‘the thing’?” my brother scoffed “pathetic- ow!”

My mother slapped the back of his head “Don’t talk down on your sister!” she scolded “if it wasn’t for her, you’d still be in crutches or dead!” she crossed her arms and looked sternly at the little brother and Older sister “te portas bien! No fire y No vuelas in la casa!”

“Yes madre” groaned the two, glaring at their accomplished sister.

“Well if it isn’t the Palmas?!” warmly welcomed Mr. Iida “welcome to our family estate! Please join us in the main hall!”

Tenya and I followed behind them and saw that the same few amount of people came to the Christmas party. They all welcomed my family, excited to see some new faces at the function. When it came close to the end of dinner, Tenya stood up.

“May I get everyone’s attention?” he waited for everyone to look at him “I’d like to thank the Palmas for join us this holiday and for everyone that had to brave the snow to get here” he cleared his throat “but I have an announcement! Seeing how great both families seem to get along, we’ve decided to unify!” everyone at the table was confused. 

“Why’d you say it like that?” I laughed and stood up “he meant to say we’re engaged.”

The room erupted in a mix of happiness and relief “And I know you said you don’t need a ring but” he pulled out a small box from his pocket and got on his knee “but here’s a proper one to satisfy our nagging parents” he opens the box to reveal a pearl ring in antique gold “would you say it again? For the whole world to hear?”

“I don’t need a ring to show that you love me” I tried not to cry “I don’t care if you give me the biggest pearl in the ocean or the rarest rock in the galaxy, money can’t buy what we have.”

“And your the disorder to my routine, the spice in my food and the moonlight when the daylight disappears” he holds her hand and the family awes at the sight “will you marry me so I can live along side you in your world?”

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you!” I cry out. He slips the ring on me and lifts me up as he stood up. “oh now you’re showing off!” I laughed.

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m marrying my soulmate!” he said confidently and put her down “I’d swim in the freezing ocean, fight off marine life and eat a dozens of oysters for you babe.”

“That sounds oddly specific” I got suspicious “did you-”

“He did, I was there” Tensei laughed as he rolled over to us “he tried to bargain with seagulls to not steal the oysters he was finding OH the look on his face when those seals showed up! priceless!”

“It wasn’t funny brother!” he chopped “the lifeguard ha-”

“THE LIFEGUARD HAD TO SHOW UP! OH MAN!” I bursted laughing “Ay Tenya! You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted too” they kissed “anything for you.”

Everyone was happy for the couple and got to know each other a little better now that they’re going to be family. Our parents got along a little too well.

“Boy! Why didn’t you tell me Mr Palma is a skilled metal worker?!” Mr Iida huffed “the man just waved his hand over the dents on the antique cabinet and it looks like new!”

“I just adore the curls on your head Mrs Palma!” Tenya’s mother gushed “I hope our grandchildren will have the same curls!”

“Oh geez they’re having a time aren’t they” I giggled as I looked from a distance with Tenya “do you think they’ll always be this buddy-buddy?”

“How should I know? My parents don’t have friends” he ruffled her hair “but that doesn’t matter right now, because right now I want to get cozy in the parlor with you.”

“Take me away Tenya!” I say as he scoops me up to make a quick escape to the parlor for a much needed make-out and cuddle.

Time passes, it’s late February and I have our wedding invitations ready to distribute. I go over my list and see that it’s not going to be a huge ordeal and I could invite a few more people. Shinso comes across my mind, it’s been years and I still haven’t gotten closure nor know where he is exactly. I hesitate on it and Tenya notices.

“Hey what’s wrong?” he leans over to rest his chin on her shoulder “you’ve been staring at this list for a while.”

“It’s just that, I don’t know if should um” I take a deep breath “I don’t know if I should invite Shinso.”

“Oh I see, you still haven’t found him” he sits next to her “I know he’s your ex and you had so much together. He’d want to go to our wedding, he cares about you.”

“Then I have a phone call to make” I said as I levitated my phone to me. I called Kendo and asked where Shinso lives so I can give him a wedding invitation. She gives me the address and notifies Monoma when I should be dropping by. They said tomorrow in the late morning is fine. I got a big anxiety attack in the car before stepping out to their front door. By the time I pulled myself together, it started to rain. I ran to their front door and knocked as I huddled under the very narrow door shelter. The door opened and my heart dropped to the floor, it was Shinso. “Um, Hi”

“Hey” we stood there, wide eyed for a while because this was the first time in years we’ve heard each-other’s voices. He snapped out of it when the sound of the rain got harder “oh please come in, it’s getting bad out there.”

“Thanks, I’ll just-” I started to take off my shoes and he takes off my coat “oh um I got it you don’t have to help me.”

“No it’s okay” he hung up my coat on the rack next to the door “please have seat in the living room and I’ll get you a towel.”

“Oh it’s alright” I was on the verge of another anxiety attack “I was just going to give you a-”

“No please stay until the rain clears up” he basically begged for her to stay “I wouldn’t want you to go back out there and drive. I’ll be quick.”

He hurries off into the hallway and I make my way to the cozy living room. I sit down and I hear a very familiar meow “Could it be?” I gasped and a chonky boi jumps up and onto my lap “Biscuit! Oh my sweet kitty angel babey!” I nearly started crying as the cat rubbed up against me and purred “I missed you so much! I’m sorry I haven’t showed up sooner, I tried so hard to find you two.” He nestled into my arms “How are you baby? Eating well I see!” I scratch his favorite spot on his back and heard him purr louder “did you miss me too? I never stopped thinking about you and your late night zoomies.”

“Oh wow this takes me back” Shinso spoke up, startling me “sorry! didn’t mean to scare you” he hands me the towel and puts down a teacup “I got you some tea as well.”

I wipe my hair and shoulders dry and I remember the teacup “You kept the teacup I got you for our anniversary?” I remembered the day vividly “I still have the hoodie you got me.”

“I saw! Iida-kun has a picture of you with it on as his lock screen” he cracked a smile “by the way, you look good, NOT TO SAY YOU DIDN’T LOOK GOOD BEFORE but you look different.”

“Well when you go through a horrendous break up and gain a couple millions” I gesture to my torso “you spend a couple thousands to stay this presentable.”

“Well when I went through a horrendous break up, all I did was travel and smoked a lot of weed” he copied my gestures “none the richer, just the same old me.”

“You do look different” I giggled “you never styled your hair or let your facial hair grow out when we were together” I point to his outfit “and you hated fashion tracksuits! This whole get up suits you.”

He turned a little red “I did say that heh” he saw me levitate the teacup to my hands to take a sip “listen, about what happen, I’m sorry and I-”

“I forgive you” I interrupted him “I spent years thinking about what I was going to say to you when I saw you again. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry and I wasn’t going to blame you for what happened” I took a deep, calming breath “I’m sorry, I didn’t listen and I didn’t speak my mind when we were together. I spent so long holding back, biting my tongue to what I really wanted to say to you when we lived together. I did it because I didn’t want you to leave me” I started crying “FUCK this is so stupid, I’m crying! But I didn’t want you to leave and I just let you walk all over me when you didn’t want to do what I wanted to do or when you didn’t want to come along to the things I wanted to go to. When I was pregnant, I felt my life drain away as you were becoming more and more controlling. I knew it was toxic but I didn’t want to say anything because nobody was going to help me if I did manage to escape your controlling ways. I loved you so much Hitoshi, I convinced myself that nobody was going to love me the way you do” I wiped my tears “when you left while I slept, I couldn’t sleep in that bed anymore or stand to look at the emptiness of the house. I wished that you’d return after a month or two but the years went by and I stopped believing in love.”

“You suffered before I even left?” he asked and saw me nod “you loved me to the point of suffering! Ita you didn’t have to stay if you felt that way, I would’ve understood if you wanted to let go.” he took a deep breath “Let me say my side, I couldn’t stand the idea of growing up and I saw you maturing and I was scared. I loved you but not your goals or dreams and I thought having a baby would solve everything!” he reached out to hold her hand “but I saw how quickly you changed and realized that it was probably the worst decision ever. I was considering not having this baby anymore, how fucked up is that?! When you lost the baby, I didn’t know how to feel and I didn’t want to tell you that I didn’t want the baby, so I just didn’t talk so I wouldn’t accidentally say what I was thinking. When you said you wanted to hear me, I considered it for a second but I kept writing that note I left for you on the fridge. That last ‘I love you’ broke me, I cried at my desk, as I cleaned the house of my things, did the laundry and loaded my things up in a movers van. I laid in bed with you and it hurt to see you sleeping and unaware of what I was doing. I kissed you for the last time and pulled the sheet over you to keep you warm before I left.” he didn’t notice that tears were pouring down his face “I still loved you as I was traveling from place to place. Wondering if you were doing alright or if you were also thinking about me. When I was in Hokkaido, I saw your face on the cover of Business Insider with your friends in the liquor store I frequent and couldn’t believe it! You made your dream into reality, without me. Figured that you were doing well and that you didn’t care about me anymore.”

“That’s not true Hitoshi, I care so much” I squeezed his hand “I’d worry myself sick about where you ran off to and tracked you for a while until you went north for work.”

“Wait who told you about my whereabouts?”

“Amajiki did, I remembered that you two worked together and I asked him about you about a month after you left” I recalled “he’d update me about the places you bounced off to and where you stayed.”

“Oh that guy, well he’s very honest and means well” he thumbed my engagement ring “but so is Iida-kun, I’m happy you two finally said it and stayed together. He’s a better man than me, you know something, I knew he liked you” he remembered the time in the dorms “he even tried to stop me from getting close to you! He’d talk so highly about you and held you like a lover, so I didn’t believe that you two were just friends. We got into that fight because he lost his temper that I stole you away from him! Why he didn’t just tell you anyways or fought you is beyond me, I would’ve handed you over.”

“Why? You showed me more interest that he did.”

“Yea but I also knew that you liked him too from the way you talked to him, and that thing you do with your lips when you want a kiss but are too shy to ask” he pinched her cheek “and that blush and smile combo whenever he talked to you! And you never did that with me!”

“Was it that obvious?” I blushed bright red “I thought I was playing it so cool! Well I guess it doesn’t matter now that we’re getting married OH THAT’S RIGHT!” I reach into my purse to give him an invitation “the whole reason I came here for was to invite you and Monoma to my wedding!”

He opened the invitation and smiled “I’ll go for sure, I want to see my friends get married” he laughed “you’re the only bitch I respect in that circle and I expect the most outta this wedding.”

Before I could say anything, a familiar blonde walked into view “Hitoshi, why the fuck is the bathroom window open?!”

I look at the blonde man and give him the once over, putting two and two together “ I McFUCKING KNEW IT!” pointed at both of them “YALL FUCKIN’!”

“What made you think-”

I pointed at the blonde’s pants “Those are his fuckin’ pants!” I get giddy “Neito always wears his slam pieces pants post fuck!”

“Oh you caught me Ita!” Monoma slyly said with his hands up “from rivals to lovers, Hitoshi is my personal power bottom.”

“NEITO!” Shinso was turning red “I’m not a bottom just so we’re clear!”

“Shut up bottom!” I hushed Hitoshi and turned to Monoma “you gotta tell me how y’all got into this gay realization!”

We got into good conversation on all that time we’ve missed. It felt good to have this closure and see that he was happy with his new partner too.

“...and that’s when we realized, maybe I should start giving a shit about my hair!” Shinso finished his story.

“Oh I just realized some weird shit!” I got hit with some facts “we are fucked each other at some point, a full circle fuck if you will.”

“WAIT HOL UP!” Shinso put his hands up “you two fucked? When?!”

“Oh babe we lost our virginities to each other” Monoma casually responded “we were yelling at each other in the practice area one moment, then half naked in her bed the next.”

“Good times! You were so pussy whipped that everyone thought you changed your ways” I sighed remembering those days “remember when you accidentally sexually moaned during joint training when Shoji slapped your ass instead of doing his new technique.”

“Oh stop! I was pent up because you kept edging me in passing” he rolled his eyes and laughed “then I fucked the shit out of you later that night for making a fool of me!”

“God that was hot, my kink was making you mad and making you beg” I booped his nose “but I bet you two have more fun! Lucky you.”

“Um what the fuck? And you call me a bottom?!” Shinso said bootytickled.

“You are a bottom Hitoshi” I point at him “do I need to remind you who would BEG for sex and to pull their hair?”

“Well what does that make you two?” he huffed.

Monoma and I look at each other and said “Power-verses, who ever cums on top, wins.”

I laugh “Oh I missed you guys! We should go on a double date” I checked the time “oof I should get going, I have to go drop off a few more invites.”

“The rain did stop” Shinso said as he looked out the window “It was nice to see you again! I’ll make sure we spend more time together before the big day.”

“I’d like that” I smiled as I stood up. We hugged goodbye and I left with a clear conscience. Now I can move on to the next big life step.

-Fast Forward, April-

“Oh my goodness!” cried out Mimi when I stepped out from behind the curtain “it’s basically like the one your mom had!”

“Is it? I haven’t seen myself in the mirror yet!” I get giddy. I took Mimi and Jin with me to my final fitting with Best Jeanist.

“Here you go!” Jeanist flipped his studio mirror toward me “Oh and I have a final piece to go with this.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw my wedding dress “It’s just like my mom’s! I love it!”

“I’ve been saving this for a while” he brings out a flat box “I’ve been anticipating your wedding day since I went into fashion design. I dabbled in traditional embroidery and made this” he revealed a light gray obi with a scenic embroidery of a garden and pond with light pink lilies and green lily pads floating on the water.

“It’s beautiful!” I got teary eyed.

He fastened the obi around her “You’re a very special girl and usually parents give their of age children kimono and obi” he finished fastening and looked into the mirror with her “I’ve always had a paternal fondness for you, if I did have children, I’d want a daughter like you.” He wiped her streaming tears “don’t cry, but my goodness you look like a proper bride! I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle.”

Mimi blew her nose “I’m a fucking mess! You’re so beautiful” she turned to Jin “you doing alright?”

Jin wiped his tears “Yea, I’m so fucked up on this wedding shit” he tapped on his tablet “wedding prep is 90 percent complete, now we pick up our attire and do a check in with the decorators to finish our checklist!”

“Damn, yall really helped me plan a whole ass wedding” I heard my phone ring “Oh can one of yall check that? It might be my mom.”

Jin checks “Oh shit, Ochako had her baby!”

“NO WAY! She wasn’t due until like mid May!” I gasped “Now come June, everyone will be able to come to my wedding.”

I get home to dinner ready “Welcome home!” Tenya said as he greeted me with a tight hug “how was your fitting?”

“Amazing! But you won’t know until day of” I teased before I kissed him “Did you get your groomsmen sorted out?”

“Yea, so I got Tensei as man of honor and Manual, Shoto, Kirishima and Sero.”

“Glad everything did work out” I pour myself some water “oh and update, My America friends are gonna fly in a week before but they have housing so the house won’t be crowded in the days leading to the day.”

“That leaves with...Hm” Tenya tried to remember what’s left to do “I guess get married!”

“Basically and I’m very excited to do so” I put my arms around him “did you think you’d get this far with me?”

“No, its funny” he touched foreheads with her “when we were still in first year, during the time you declined to be a competitor in the sports festival, I opened up to my brother about you and the strange feelings I get when I was around you” he smirked “I was so oblivious that what I was feeling was love and Tensei pointed it out to me. It was weird to me and I said that I feel like I met my wife, Tensei thought I was crazy but encouraged me to get closer to you.”

“That’s so cute what the fuck” I was flattered “did you think the feelings you got around me was my hidden quirk?”

“If I say yes, are you going to laugh at me?”

“You already know I’ll wheeze” I put my hands on his face and squished “but you were right, you did meet your wife.”

“I did and I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together” he put his hands on her wrists to loosen her squish “come on future wife, lets eat, I made stir fry with udon noodles.”

The weeks flew by too quick and it was wedding day! A nice June day to have one, Ita and her bridal party were getting ready at the church.

“Look at how gorgeous you are!” cried out her best friend from America, Calvin “and the side-do really does it for your look, I can’t believe you’re fully that bitch!”

“Shut your fuck!” I retorted back, on the verge of tears “I’m so fucking emotional right now!” Mimi rushing in distracted me “Oh? what’s up?”

“Groom and party have arrived” she informed “also your parents want to come in.”

“Oh let them in” 

My mom walked in arm in arm with my dad, “Ay mija! Te mires muy linda!” she nearly started crying “tenemos la corona aqui si estas lista.” She took out a pearl bridal crown with veil from it’s box and put it on my waiting head.

“AY voy a llorar!” my dad cried out “you look so beautiful Ita, I’m so happy that you’re alive to have a wedding day” he wiped his tears “I thank God every night that you’re alive and happy.”

“Oh dad” I got up to hug him “don’t cry, I’m only here because you were strong enough to let me go.”

We refocus and finished getting ready, Mimi was sending a note back and forth for me and Tenya since we can’t see each other until the ceremony. My bridesmaids line up and before I take my spot, I realized I forgot my bouquet and warped to the dressing room to get it.

“I would forget this!” I said to myself as I reached for my bouquet. As I put my hand on it, a face popped up right next to it “EHH! WHAT THE!”

“Oh I thought you might be here” Mirio said with a smile “you know, you don’t have to marry him. We could just run away together and nobody will be the wiser!”

I wasn’t down to play games “Aren’t you married Mirio?!” I crossed my arms “you better get your ass into your suit and back in that church before I whoop your ass, on GOD!”

“I mean it Ita!” he begged “I’m not joking when I say I still love you, my wife doesn’t have the same effect like you do on me.”

Suddenly Mimi and Jin bust in with guns out “OH FUCK HE DONE DID IT!” yelled Jin.

“Listen here naked man!” Mimi walked forward, gun cocked “you get your cheating ass away from the bride! Or as GOD as my witness, we’ll beat your ass again NO QUIRKS!”

“You three don’t scare me!”

Nighteye rushes in “You little- TOGATA!” he chucked a tuxedo toward Mirio “put your tuxedo back on and leave the bride alone!” he bowed to me “I’m so sorry he tried to do anything to ruin your day Miss, I saw that he would try to convince you to call off the wedding but get beat up if I didn’t intervene.”

 “Thank you Sir” I bowed back “I’ll be taking my spot now” I grabbed my bouquet “I have to marry my soulmate and I’m running behind schedule!”

Everyone gets to their spots and the ceremony begins, as I walk down the aisle with my dad, I catch a glimpse of Tenya at the alter and he looked at me the same way he did when we went to the dance in 1st year.

“Who gives this bride?”

“Her mother and I” my dad says as he was about to let me go to the alter “Tenya, I expect you to love and cherish my daughter with everything you have. She’s my pride and joy, I almost lost her once but this time she’s found with you.”

I hug my parents before floating up the stairs to the altar, when I joined hands with Tenya, our eyes met and sort of shut out some of the ceremony.

“Whoever thinks these two shouldn’t marry, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Almost on cue, Mirio stands up but before he could say he objects, all the agents in attendance whipped out their guns to point them at him. Mirio then sat back down and shut his mouth.

“Now is the exchange of vows, can the ring bearer please bring the rings.”

I get a ring from the pillow “Tenya, from the moment I met you, I thought you were just showing me pity because I was new and alone. But as my heart grew fonder of you and your way of interacting with me, I realized that I fell in love with you and couldn’t say a thing about it because I didn’t want to scare you away. When we reunited, I knew that we had something special that I wasn’t about to let go of again.” I put the ring on him “with this ring, I promise to be faithful, loyal and patient with you because you make me feel less lonely in this world.”

He tried not to tear up as he got his ring from the pillow “Ita, I didn’t know I was in love with you until I couldn’t contain these strange feelings when I’m around you. Every-time I look at you, I want to protect you from the unfairness of the world. And every-time I gather the courage to hold your hand, it’s like I’m on top of the world. When we reunited and you told me you forgave me, I knew that I had to hold on and never let go again.” he slips the ring on her “with this ring, I promise to be understanding, protective and tender with you because I want to be part of your world and always be by your side.”

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

We kissed and lingered on each other for a moment before giving a bow to everyone. Hand in hand, we ran down the aisle and to the waiting limousine to take us to the reception.

“That went so much better than I thought” Tenya chuckled “I thought I was going to stumble on my words or start crying when you walked down the aisle.”

“It was everything I dreamed of” I rest my head on his shoulder “I hope that this isn’t another vivd dream.”

“A vivd dream?”

“Yeah, my telekinesis over-works when I sleep so I get vivd dreams” I squeeze his hand “it’s my fear that I’ll wake up and I’ll be in the dorms or wake up in the hospital.”

“Well I can tell you that this isn’t a dream” he kissed her hand “it’s all real, and you’re all mine.”

“I better see your face in the morning then” I looked up at his eyes “I love you.”

To be continued

<Previous - Next>

[giballedrei]

Someday i'll Show u these, i promise

I decided to use this blog as a type of meditation I need dayli. I'll just write about current situations, what's going on on my mind lately or just the first thing I think of when i try to write. So today I want to apologise and thank the people upon my road.

First of all I want to apologise to the people I fucked up for my egotistical needs, I want to say sorry letting you bleed on the streets and in your own houses for egotistical needs of mine such as money status or revenge etc., sorry to your parents whom you couldn't tell anything bc u would've to tell them why tho. Sorry to them because they probably had sleepless nights wondering what you are going through and not be able to help. Sorry that you lost your status and couldn't let yourself get seen on the streets without fear. Even tho there are no rules in this jungle of criminality, I don't want to justify. Still I hope you moved on and took it as a lesson that there is nothing to aspire at all in this scene. I'm sorry for all your mental and physical pain me and my partakers dealt to yall

To those people who fucked me up, I'm thankful that u showed me that I don't belong to ya'll. Even tho most of yall got the revenge u deserved, I want to apologise that I acted the same way u did and maybe worse. Nowadays probably i would see the damaged souls of urs and wouldn't act the same way and even pray for u. But I want to thank ya'll for teaching me there is nothing to aspire in your dirty world, no rules, no trust, no loyalty, all those things you guys always talk about. Without you Id probably still be there where I was. I pray to god to cleanse ur souls so that u can make your mothers smile and ur fathers proud as a change.

I want to apologise to all those girls upon my road, I guess you always knew from the beginning that you're not the one I think of constantly, and still u remained next to my side. I wonder what u saw in me that led u to stay. Probably it's that different character I am when I'm along people I don't love and only use for temporary satisfaction. That overconfidence and indifference, there is something toxic about it most of yall chase and try to understand or so. I don't know why it is like that, but I want to apologise that I dropped u all everytime I got what I wanted. I can only imagine the amount of stress, tears and nights u spent on my selfish behaviour. I really hope you moved on and found men who can give you what u deserve and what u need. I hope one day u girls stop chasing toxic people and start realise your worth. I hope u can forgive me and i always consider texting you all but I'm not that stupid anymore, I don't want to make u feel something at all on my cost, whether its hope or hatred or whatever.

I want to thank my few real ones, who stayed with me during my best and worst time. I hope i can come back someday rich as fuck and can get u all out of that shithole in kassel. I appreciate u guys, i dont know whether u can imagine how deeply i took in your advices and Help, whether its personal or financial Problems we always Found a solution and we did it, doesnt Matter if we broke into Apartments, rob people or just talked about what was going on in our minds. I say our, because you even helped me when we were talking about your stuff. To those new ones, u teached me a lot in just a short time, thank u more for the bitter lessons then the good ones, u showed me that i have to regulate my feelings my expectations and so on towards people because we never know whats in their heart.

I want to apologize to my parents amd tell them thank you infinitely. Maybe I will understand your endurance love and patience when I get my kids because I would've gave up on me long time ago and I actually kinda did but u never did so. You gave me so much, mind, heart, religion, I will never be able to give it back to you so I pray every day for your inner peace and to Allah that he takes you to paradise regardless of ur mistakes. I love u. I'm sorry for so much pain, stress, difficulties and wasted time on my stubborn ass. But know I know that you see I'm evolving towards the potantially person you always saw in me.

The best is yet to come,

My heart, my world, my best friend and lover.

Luna.

I remember past years u rescued me once. I was just a disturbed misunderstood kid full of hatred and love at the same time. Without u I would've fed hatred until I became hate, and as u know I always feel more then usual, so I wouldn't know where this would end. Fortunately my destiny led me to ur path. U rescued me. U showed me the path toward the person u saw in me and who I always wanted to become. I could never measure the love I feel towards you. I guess I loved ever since, and will do so until the very last days of universe, beyond death, planets and stars. Tbh, I always knew we were to young and I am too immature. Or both of us, but me definitely. I knew you would lose yourself after you moved and so would I, but I knew you're too strong so that noone could ever break u. But I couldn't imagine ur path. Yes I earned my experiences and so did u, but I always knew our paths would cross again, therefore I always waited on you. And it kinda breaks my heart that you didn't. I didnt expect it, but it hurts me deeply tho. I can't put into words how I feel about what you experienced, the good and bad ones. Therefore I just let it be. It all makes sense, those are things I hardly deal with, but I guess there is this bigger reason for it, so I can learn and change my bad habits and confront the fears I always had. But I'm speechless proud of u. I still see the light in your eyes. And this light got me spark like ur fire did back in the days only stronger. And there u are, rescuing me the second time. After I lifted all people surrounding me up, they ran away and let me sink in quicksand. And when I thought itd be over, there was u. The light at the end of the tunnel. U reached me ur hand and u got me out. Out of the darkness out of myself. I guess I'm a bit hard to handle because I have to rebuild myself completely but let me tell u some. I will be thankful for ever. I will be in love forever. There is nothing that could change it. I love the idea of a team, like us helping each other out of the quicksand, washing each other off toxins and water each other so we can grow together. I love u infinite, and I will love u forever. I hate words cause they got abused so many times and everyone uses it so that the values got lost. But inshallah one day u will understand what u mean to me, how much I love you. Ur place in my life is above myself, I would kill everyone who tries to harm u. I'd kill and die for ur tears or your joy. No words could ever .. I want to grow with you, I want to live with u, I want to spend all my life with u, I want to have kids with u. Imagine our kids. They gotta be lit lit lit lit lit. Like fr fr lit lit. Like wow. Just wow. I get excited when I hear ur name, I hope my amount of love wont annoy u, I try my best to give all u need such as freedom personal space time whatever it is. I know there is a lot I still have to work on on myself, but i would do it all for the goods of both of us. Youre most important to me. When u read this. Youre not my world. Youre my galaxy.

Marry me.

In love,

Your plus one.

[hurglewurm]

12.07.17 get ready I saw falsettos in theatres

it’s always fun being in a theatre mostly full of teenage girls, young gay men, and old couples, (and me and my mum), and just crying a whole bunch. collectively. as a group. anyway below are some chronologically segmented thoughts on this experience™ warning it’s long

“four jews” was so good, so bouncy, so happy. I love my kids. To Be Honest I was already crying a bit tho from the start just with the. uh. knowledge of what is to come

by “tight-knit family” christian borle was Already sweating and honestly, same

in “love is blind”: 

the “daddy’s kissing boys” kiss was SEEN and REMEMBERED because BOY HOWDY they MADE OUT

and before that happened andrew did an eyebrow waggle?? and a “come hither” crooked finger beckoning marvin near??? help??

“but so am IIIIIIIIIIII” I love brandon uranowitz, I love mendel

I watched andrew rannells as he did the “ah-ah” and he was a FLAWLESS boy, thank you camera crew for giving this to me

“the thrill of first love”

was so much more??? sexual??????? than I’ve ever seen it be??? andrew rannells put your tongue bACK in your mouth, oh my god

they. were. PALPABLE. that is all I can say

their little bickering and random spurts of dialogue were cute tho. like after The Kiss, whizzer said “that’s all you get” and I was like lmao my boy

legit I’m not joking about how steamy it was like they were mouth to mouth breathing the same air by the last “LOOOOOOOVE” and I was sweating

in “marvin at the psychiatrist” anthony rosenthal is the purest boy, best boy, absolutely flawless, KILLED IT YALL HE DID THAT. VERY PROUD

in “everyone tells jason to see a psychiatrist” 

whizzer stared at marvin for sO LONG after the flick. 

also can I just mention? andrew rannells? as whizzer? loves jason so much, and you can really tell

in “this had better come to a stop” the fluidity with which andrew rannells delivers his L’s in “late for dinner late again” is just incredible honestly, never fails to impress

“I’m breaking down” 

was the first song where the cinema audience clapped really hard along with the filmed audience. 

yall sjb killed it, she killed me, it was amazing. 

she d e s e c r a t e d that banana

“please come to our house”:

“hello to my house, so good of you to travel on account of my unraveling now let’s eat some food” anthony rosenthal’s fake smile was so on point during the delivery of this entire line and I was like. my boy

“I’ll wait for yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuu” trina held that note for SO long as she left the room, smiling shyly at mendel, and it was cUTE

“a marriage proposal”:

I LOVE MY PARENTS AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER GOD BLESS

“I’m… not a giant man” “good” AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

THEY CONTINUE KISSING EVEN AS MARVIN STARTS SINGING OVER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE AND THEN THEY HUG THIS IS V IMPORTANT INFORMATION

“a tight-knit family reprise”:

mendel is so??? happy???? marvin pls let him live

“king of the losers” “at eighty an hour” the camera man was just ON MENDEL like. yes my boy deliver it

“I just got a family” “the family was mine” still fuckin gets me. damn. mendel is so happy and just?? full of bliss at his new life??? and marvin is so… act one marvin… you get me

“march of the falsettos”: 

Excellent

bran uran’s voice sounded so strained my poor boy

whizzer: “stop pulling my shorts!” marvin: “they’re so hard to take off!” oh my god

whizzer screaming into the void for the blocks to be thrown up like: “hit me! another one!” 

the finger thing with marvin and whizzer? yeah that happened. they both gasped in fear

“the chess game”

bitch it was t e n s e

idk andrew rannells made the choice to call marvin “man” a whole bunch in this production and??? ok

after marvin storms off, whizzer is like “mARVIN” still in that growly voice from the last “life’s a sham” (nice) and he starts to say “it was just a g—” and then he sees marvin and goes. quiet

also from midway through this song until the end of act one, andrew rannells has this big Curl of Messy Hair in the middle of his forehead and I’m sorry but it was a blessed sight

“making a home”

hi the little zooms on whizzer? unpacking his suitcase in the corner? being sad? broke my heart, thanks

“could he love me?” the angle of the shot had happy mendel in front and whizzer kind of behind him off to the side and stop this, camera crew, stop

for “the games I play” I have no words. andrew did so good. so good. he was so sad. and he hIT those high notes yES boy. the audience clapped a bit after this one

“marvin hits trina”

he just barges into their house and starts yelling and tears up their wedding invitation like holy fuck marvin, what is ur damage

“I am so dumb.” and there is the longest silence as he walks all the way around before he starts his Lil Rampage

the actual Hit was p quiet but that’s what makes it all the more poignant, because you can hear trina’s little cry of shock and pain, and it takes her a second to bring a hand up to her cheek

after the Hit someone behind me in the audience just. let out an audible breath, like the wind got knocked out of them, and I was like. same bitch

“I never wanted to love you”

EVERYONE. ON STAGE. WAS CRYING. 

the mood of this musical changes so quickly when it gets to this song and it’s. Good. like it cleaves my heart in twain don’t think it doesn’t but it’s. good

trina needs a fucking hug (and mendel is going to give her 20)

“how do I start… not to love you” FUCK

whenever marvin looks at jason tbh my heart hurts bye. which bRINGS US TO

“father to son”

the pure adoration and faint amusement on marvin’s face as his son is all like “I think… girls are” like it’s so cUTE

near the end as marvin was singing about love the camera just showed us whizzer? sitting alone in the dark? leaning his head on a corner of the Cube™? how dare you

anyway christian borle was crying and so was I

act two time because there was no intermission which was…  not great to be honest oops

“falsettoland”

bran uran had little glow sticks in each hand and at “homosexuals” he just pointed at the audience and the music stalled as he just waved about at them like “YALL ARE ALL GAY JUST TAKE IT”

“and a teeny tiny band” a bunch of little paper cutouts of the band rose up from the Band Area Void and bran uran did a little dance to incite people to love and cherish the band (always love and cherish the band guys they’re so good they do such a good job)

“nancy reagan” andrew slapped the blow up doll so hard lmao

“spiky lesbians” EVERYONE CHEERED AND I WAS LIKE DAMN RIGHT

in “about time” marvin holds jason close and is like “as mature as my son who is tHIS TALL!! that’s all!!” and you really can see… just how much he’s changed, my boy,

“year of the child”:

anthony rosenthal is the cutest kid alive

his little dance between his parents as they’re all like “my chiiiiild” is. just. incredible

“I’ll bring women from the wrong side of the tracks” mendel says out of the corner of his mouth, as he tucks jason under his arm and leads him away, like a bad influence

“the baseball game”

when whizzer first appeared and marvin was all “what is he doing here??” he hid behind charlotte while simultaneously trying to get a good look at whizzer and it was. adorable

whenever marvin touched whizzer’s hair, whizzer couldn’t keep the smile off his face. I’m deceased

“how would I know… without him… my life would be flat as a lake” ok but who is responsible for this lmao

“would it be possible to see you or to…......... kiss you” BASHFUL MARVIN I REPEAT BASHFUL MARVIN

“a day in falsettoland”

“yEEEESSS IiiIiiIII dOOOooOoO” u already know it was perfect, I don’t need to tell you

charlotte pulled cordelia in with the apron and their part of the stage went dark but they kissed, they did, saw it with my own two gay little eyes

“what more can I say”

TOO… SOFT… HELP

andrew had his leggy out

before whizzer rolled over he?? gave marvin a lil kiss on the cheek? it was really audible????? I’m???

when marvin looked under the sheet, instead of his customary simple eyebrow waggle, this man Dared to laugh in delight along with the audience like “yes I love this boy he is mine and I am his and that’s incredible”

ALSO AT THE END when they both just cuddle into each other they… kissed each other’s faces a bunch… h e lp me

“something bad is happening”

charlotte is so upset and I am upset because hERE WE GO

“more racquetball”

the costume department is full of geniuses tbh like the loosening of whizzer’s costume? genuinely just looked like the poor man had lost a bunch of weight

he fell so hard and abruptly and something in me fell with him

“I’m sorry” HIS FACE CRUMPLED AND HE STARTED CRYING

“days like this”

someone forgot to turn on andrew’s mic at the beginning so his mouth said “good morning” but you couldn’t hear it

“kid you’re looking very good today” whizzer just gives a self-deprecating smile and he. he Knows. 

cordelia’s laugh is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my life

“I’ll let you win, whizzer” “don’t let me win…” “I’ll let you win” I’m really upset, whizzer looked so… wrecked

at the end of “cancelling the bar mitzvah” mendel’s fucking “why don’t we tell him that we don’t have the answers” whole thing got me w r e c k e d. he says those lines like a man who knows how awful it is, but he knows how true it is, and he’s helpless to stop it

“unlikely lovers”

“marvin? did you hear what I said?” they were both crying, you could hear the tears in andrew’s voice, and christian borle kept… sobbing… between his lines… 

like when marvin stopped singing and cordelia/charlotte were at the door he just had to crumple for a moment and just lie there shaking?? a broken man?? just to recuperate for the next bit of the song? kill me

the way marvin looks people in the eye and just says “I love you” with the softest voice. god

so “something bad is happening reprise”: charlotte sang this directly to marvin, a steadying hand on his elbow, peering into his eyes past her own film of tears to make sure he understands what she’s saying. and he does. and he just turns away and walks off

“you gotta die sometime”

when he swung his legs out of bed his voice broke from the effort

he got really choked up after the second verse and he was openly crying by the end of it (still killed it tho, my boy)

this is my favourite song but I can’t watch anyone sing it ever

“jason’s bar mitzvah”

jason rushes in, bubbly and cheerful, and andrew is still fucking sobbing and it takes him a while to come down from it and everything hurts

“don’t know why, but he looks… like marvin” fucking crying already and then there’s a little pause, jason is really agitated, and marvin just whispered something like “hey you got this” and I WEPT

marvin kissed jason’s head. he loves this boy so much

whizzer also kissed jason’s head??? jason has so many dads who all love him so much

whizzer’s “thank you” was just a whisper but it rang through the theatre and then it was so quiet. I could not breathe in the space after whizzer’s final line. (I mean I was sobbing but I was real quiet about it)

“what would I do”

andrew was crying, christian was crying, I was crying, it was beautiful tho

whizzer just walks out in his pristine white shirt and it’s. it’s poignant. it’s such a stark contrast from the last time we saw him, it hits really hard

“I’d like to believe that I’d do it again and again and again” the crescendo that christian puts in these lines leading to that really Powerful last “again” shakes me to my fucking core (and yeah, makes me cry, you guessed it)

“we’re just gonna skip that stage” it sounded like it hurt to say that. it hurt to hear it too

just in general there’s this softness to christian borle’s voice when it’s live that’s not really there in the cast recording but it’s really, really beautiful

whizzer gives him one last, sad, little smile before the lights change

there were three men sitting beside me and my mother and they were all sobbing

“falsettoland reprise”

marvin buried his face in his hands for most of this, but there were moments where he didn’t, where he tried to be strong in the face of his loss. he couldn’t do it anymore once they put the gravestone down. 

to be honest i could barely see jason put the chess piece down because everything was too blurry from my tears

as my mother put it, “there was no catharsis at the end. it was really, really sad. but it was realistic about that, about death, and love, and everything.”

20000000/10 would watch again, please release a dvd

[muthamagik]

vent.

I was never perfect, but I felt like I had to be so that I wouldn’t disappoint you. biggest fears were letting you down/losing your companionship. I’d sink my claws in whenever I’d feel like you were drifting off. I’d wonder what was wrong with me. I’d panic. I’d get sad. I’d wonder if I make you sad. If I’m the cause of your misery. I didn’t know how to talk to you. I knew. I knew about her, but I didn’t have your word on it. You’d tell me not to worry. You’d get mad when I asked. So I hated to ask. Other guys were interested in me. Sexually, mostly. But they told me things that you wouldn’t. They’d automatically want things I’d have to beg you for. Dates. I figured dates weren’t your thing, so I gave up. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Plenty of guys were comfortable going on dates. I’d set a time. I’d never go. Just felt cool to know that someone somewhere felt I was worthy of a date. I’ve always felt played by you. Very cake and eat it, too relationship. I was expected to never stray, but your stray was cool. Your stray was cool. I put pussy on shorty bc he made me feel special. As corny as he was, as much as I shot him down, he wanted me and he let me know that. Sexually, but still. He asked if I had a boyfriend and it hit me: I don’t. But I do have someone who’d be mad if he knew I was here right now. I was mad I was there right now. He gave me head. U never give me head. The dick wasn’t worth it. I felt stupid after. You felt stupid after, too, I suppose. These aren’t excuses. I’m sorry. But I knew. My name in your phone was Brittanooga. Her name in your phone was My Baby Girl. I knew. I’d lay and think about how you’d leave her to come be with me. You’d be in her car, telling me it’s a rental. You’d introduce me as your homegirl. I was only referred to as your girl when we argued. I tried not to hold her against you, or any other girl for that matter. Honestly they wouldn’t have mattered at all if I felt secure. I fell in love with you thru art. You were a different person behind the camera. You seemed confident and in control. We made magical things. That magic died. I felt like I was losing the very thing that brought us together in the first place. You were one of the only ppl that seemed to understand my vision artistically. I’d pitch ideas to you and you’d make it seem like they were the greatest ideas ever. I’d be proud. I’d be excited to see you help me bring them to life. They never happened. I wanted to see you grow. I bought you cameras. I would have done so much more. I wanted to do so much more. I had big plans. I wanted to help you get where u deserve to be. Everything got flaky. The more time went on, the flakier it got. You’d do fuck shit. You’d fucking ignore me completely. You’d snap about me ignoring you when I’m upset, but being ignored is what upset me to begin with. If you didn’t take me seriously anymore, why’d you let me think so?

I’ve looked at this from your point of view, or so I think. It’s made me feel like a bad person. I wanted the best for you but was it the best for you or was it just what I assumed to be the best for you. I assumed you wanted the best for me. I wanted to feel loved by you. You ain’t open up to me. I didn’t know you. I only knew the few things you allowed me to know and I’d attempt to capitalize on those things, bc anything else was like pulling teeth. Anime, candy, POP figures, cameras, shoes, tee shirts, crystals. It was like catering to a child, but I’d think nothing of it bc you’d seem so happy. That’s all I wanted. Was for you to be happy. And to be happy with me. You can’t buy love. Because I was still only being introduced as your homegirl. You got lots of homegirls. Id wonder if they do what we do. I remember you coming to my house after leaving from going out to eat with your homegirl. I could never get you to go out with me. I felt stupid. I said nothing.

I’d post photos of us together. I’d feel stupid bc lol you never did that. You’d argue that your whole instagram was me. Those were photo shoot photos. So maybe I’m your muse. I wanted to be your woman. To take it a step further, you had photos of her. Intimate ones. Photos of her sleeping. You’ve never posted those. That’s your woman. Me squatting in a laundromat? Not so intimate. Your instagram was full of your work. I was your work. We had fun, tho.

You’d talk about children. I can’t have children. I know that mattered. You’d invite me to your city knowing that wasn’t a safe move. You had a girlfriend. You told me you didn’t. I’d be caught out there having to square up with your bitch. I got warrants.

I loved you. I was a mistake. I fucked up. I cry everyday now. I blame you and then I don’t. Khloe asked about you last night. It’s fucked up. I went to your twitter. I can’t. I went to your insta, I’m not there. I’m gone like I was never here. Like I never existed. So many questions just sit here, unanswered. I’m having a hard time grasping the fact that you say you ain’t never really want me, because you’d beg me to stay. I have a hard time grasping the fact that you clocked out cuz you ain’t trust me, when you weren’t trustworthy to begin with. I’ve always forgiven you. Even when you wouldn’t apologize. Even when the apology would be… I’m sorry ur mad, instead of I’m sorry that I did this to you. I’m having a hard time.

I wasn't perfect. I knew that. I wanted to be. I'd get so happy when you'd acknowledge my efforts to make you happy. I'd feel alone a lot. Things changed. You stopped loving me. You stopped fucking me. You'd only care when I complained. There was no affection. I'd go off the deep end. You'd take hours to text back and i wanted to understand. You got a new job. You went back to her. Or maybe you never left her. So many situations I can think of where I wanted to be there for you, wondering if she was there for you too. Yall have history. We don't. You'd ask for expensive gifts, gifts that I fully planned to buy. But you knew you didn't want anything to do with me. We talked about matching tattoos. We talked about a lot of things that I have to just assume were lies now. You asked me to give you a month. In a month, exactly to the date, I found her. So I wonder what was your original plan. What was going to happen in a month. You also told me you were going to fall off the face of the earth for two months. You told me we were going to New York together. You told me our relationship would survive this break you needed. You needed to find you. I was sad. I feared you wouldn't come back. I feared you'd become the person you wanted to be but you wouldn't need me to be a part of you anymore. But I loved you. You said we'd survive. That we were stronger than this. I leave for New York on Friday. Ur nowhere to be found.

I was mad, but I wanted a goodbye. Closure. Real closure. Not some junk in a box on my front porch. I wanted you to see me cry. I told you to die instead. I didn’t mean that. It’d be fucked up. I was hurt. I threw up. I cried. I’ve been high since you left.

I don't want to sleep on your mental stability.

I hope ur ok.

[maggiemuggins-blog1]

2016 You.Did.Not.Break.Us.

(me unleashing the fuschia sparkle on new years eve and Princess Leia keeping it motherfucking real. RIP.)

Babes welcome to 2017. We made it through what was, for many of us, a shit-box of a year. Box after box, babes, just full of shit. We all just kept unpacking it and unpacking it. But we are here, the last carton full of crap has been delivered and, if you are reading this, you have hopefully emerged unscathed. I feel like a goddamn warrior slowly standing the fuck up after a serious, didn’t know if I would make it, battle. 2016 babes, she was a doozy. for me personally, for nearly everyone I know, my community at large, and the planet, specifically. For real, babes, 2016 unleashed a bag of dicks upon humanity and I for one am ready to put those dicks back where they belong: on the internet quietly jerking off to shit they find on Reddit.

  And now here we are in 2017. ‘Who knows what this year will hold’ feels pretty goddamn ok to me. I’m not gonna lie I get wooed by a new year. Feels like the world is full of possibility and that suits me. That said, I’m not really a fat babe who waxes philosophical about the new year, and goal setting, and intentionality. I’m down for however my fellow fats want to roll, and I’m not gonna lie, I get inspired by that shit all the time,  but y’all I’m still wearing my armour and I’m hopped up on the adrenaline rush of getting through 2016, and it just seems like maybe a bitchy, blaspheming, Fat Babe in full armour is just what we need to get through the fuckery that is January. I mean, babes, it is a month like none other for the spewing of body hating nonsense. It is the month where collectively the universe does that thing that I hate the most about office lunch rooms: atoning for the fun you had on the weekend by punishing yourself come Monday. Fuck. No.

Welcome to January. Had fun over the holidays? Saw people you love? Ate seconds at turkey dinner? Went out drinking with friends? Got sick by eating multiple boxes of tofifee? You didn’t think you could get away with just enjoying life did you? DID YOU? Don’t worry, January is here to disabuse you of that notion. January is here to say natural consequences are not enough, that you should be mixing that hangover with a hearty dose of shame. January is here to sell you lies about your body. January is here to distract you from the fact that we have some serious organizing to do in order to deal with the aftermath of 2016.  January is the fun police. January is a punk ass mother fucker and I have no time for that. So here I am, feeling ballsy as fuck for getting through 2016, and I think Ill just ride that feeling a little goddamn longer. Cause babes, we can gently, lovingly, and intentionally work our way through January by giving zero fucks about what she has to offer.

Looking hot as fuck while giving exactly none.

    6 ways to give zero fucks about January, her evil twin Fatphobia, and her kid sister, Capitalism

             Don’t drink the mother fucking Kool-Aid– do not be fooled. January is not about making changes. It is about making us feel so shitty that we buy stuff/memberships we are not actually gonna use. Once the ‘joyful xmas/xmas frenzy’ marketing strategy of December is behind us, the strategy switches gears to bring us the ol ‘buckle down/you are the worst’ strategy for January. In the same way that December manipulates, so too does January. And it is sneaky and, unfortunately, a part of the collective consciousness. It is at the dinner table, in our workplaces, and cozily wrapped in our hearts and minds. We confuse naming our hopes and desires for the year with guilt and the feeling that we have somehow cheated and must atone. We need to slow down that thinking to give it a closer look. Cause when we really think about it, we know what is real. We know that behaviour change is complicated and isn’t magically successful just because the year turned over. That is clearly bananas. I go to the gym every damn day and January is full of people ‘making a change’, but y’all, come February it is back to regulars. January is not about behaviour change, it is, like always, about consumption and capitalism. Babes, lets not get sucker punched by some gym trying to sell us a boxing class, yeah?

Make space – making space for reflection, goals, and hopes for the new year is a bomb ass thing to do – in January or when the fuck ever. Fat Babes, we deserve to take a minute, catch our breath and think about what we are proud of, what we wish we could do more of, and how we want to move in the world. So feel free to make some space in the world for yourself. Space that allows you to gently and kindly celebrate who you are and who the fuck you want to be. Sit down with a coffee, or tea, or whatever you drink, and think about how you honoured yourself last year and what you want to do to honour yourself this year. It may be cheesy as fuck but that doesn’t mean it isn’t good for you.

Take space- Babes, remind yourself of why you are worth rejecting the resolution, you are goddamn enough. Ima just say that again for the hell of it. You.Are.Enough. No one has the right to tell you to change, to suggest you improve, to tell you what would make you better. You are the only one who can do that for yourself. And only if you goddamn want to. So take space back from the toxic lunchroom chit chat, don’t attend family dinners that make you feel bad for eating, and go dark on social media if your feeds are all about body hating and diet talk. Resolve to take that space back for yourself. Go ahead. You deserve it.

Remember to breathe – Babes, if you had asked me 10 years ago if I would ever consider mindfulness to manage my anxiety, and my constant state of being emotionally over stimulated, I would have told you to take your junk science and get the hell out of my house. Today I can say that I was deeply wrong and for that I am sorry. If I can do nothing else but save other cranky dirt bags the time it took me to get over myself and try a thing that is super far outside my comfort zone, my work on this planet will be done. Look I get it. It is a stretch, a different way to heal from what many of us have been taught. And also, it seems kind of like the ol ‘take a bath and go for walks’ strategy to manage the deep traumatic ache of the planet. I mean exactly how many baths must one fat babe have to get rid of rape culture, hmmmmm? Self-care practices ain’t gonna convince brahs to change a damn thing. But babes, my logic was flawed and my attitude was shitty. And really, where has cynicism and detached irony got us anyways? If we are gonna be tackling this shit head on, if we are going to stand firm, if we are gonna protect each other, we need to breathe. We need those moments to store up a little flicker of energy and hope here and there. So whether it is a bath, or a walk, or shaking your ass on the dance floor, remember that you are storing up these tiny breaks so that you can face the world with an open heart and kindness while giving a total of zero fucks. Taking a breath to be in the present, to just be alive, and feel the wonder of that, is not twee (or like maybe just a little twee). It is living. I even have a fucking app that guides me through the whole practice of mindfulness. That is how hard-core I am now. An app. So whatever your version of breathing is, however you take space for yourself to be alive in your body do that now, cause we need it this time of year.

Move your body – Yall just cause I am opposed to having exercise sold to me under the guise of self-improvement/body hatred doesn. I love exercise and I even love the gym. If you can find a way to move your body in a way that celebrates it, then for shit sakes, go forth and move.

Eliminate diet talk- I did this for myself years ago and it is the total best. I started telling the people around me that I didn’t want to hear about diets or the ways they hate their body. I was ruthless in that I was all ‘look you can either stop talking about it around me or we can’t be friends. It is that important to me.’ I reminded my people that they can be celebrated for their diet talk by nearly EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD so surely they could just not around me. It worked. I had maybe one post on my feed about losing weight this January. That’s it. Feels good. Maybe that should be the resolution, y’all.

Babes, it turns out we can step into new things, and care about ourselves in loving ways, and swear like a sailor, and shit talk the clusterfuck that is January, and fight the fucking shitstorm of douchbaggery. From where I’m sitting, this year has literally nothing to do with diets and weight-loss workouts and EVERYTHING to do with loving our selves in a deep and real and fucking righteous way, and then getting out there to fight the misogyny, racism, white supremacy, and environmental injustice that is exploding extra all over North America. If our resolutions have nothing to do with fighting oppression and everything to do with fighting our bodies, well, babes, we are doing it all wrong. Don’t let vapid resolutions take up any brain space just cause your co-worker/sister-in-law/auntie/bestie is making bad choices. Make your body a safe and cherished place to come home to. Cause babes, it’s a riots not diets kinda year. Welcome to 2017.

Smooches.

  Stepping into 2017 like a Fat Babe does 2016 You.Did.Not.Break.Us. (me unleashing the fuschia sparkle on new years eve and Princess Leia keeping it motherfucking real.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

New to the AU? Start here!

Part1 Part2

Chapter 40.75: Step the FUCK Up Kyle!

The two arrive at the venue after everyone thanks to Jin’s portal express. Seeing everyone have fun sparked joy and even more excitement for the future. There was no gift or money giving because both of us were well off and just wanted everyone to attend. No garter toss because Tenya drinks respect women juice but I did toss the bouquet. That turned out to be a disaster because Pixie Bob, Midnight and some of the other single heroes were fighting each other for it. Then came my favorite part, the couples dance. We danced to Around by Niki with a slide-show of pictures on the screen behind us. We did a bunch of fancy floating moves with our quirks and we finally had our slow dance kiss at the end. Then came cake, it was almost too pretty to eat and I got a little dodgy when we were supposed to feed a piece to each other. The wedding photographer unfortunately captured all that nervousness but it was funny to look back at. I did so much dancing and drinking with my agent friends that Tenya had to take care of me toward the end of the night. We said our goodbyes and thank yous before going home.

“Tenya! I love you bitccchhh!” I was drunkenly serenading him.

“I know you do”

“I’m never gonna stop loving you, bitccchhhhh!”

Tenya was trying to undo the straps on my dress “Hold still, I’m trying to get you out of your dress.”

“Oh I’ll just-” I teleport out of my dress with just my underwear on “oops, I’m nakey hehehe.”

“Ah so that’s how you do it” he finally figured out my secret to fast undressing and dressing “you teleport in and out of clothes!”

“Yup” I teleport out of my underwear “now I’m true nakey” I throw myself onto Tenya “I’m not a virgin but I want you to do me like one.”

“No darling, you’re drunk” he took off his suit jacket “but if you wait a bit, we can bathe together.”

“Will you wash my hair?”

“Yes”

“Will you take off my makeup?”

“Of course, I’ll even do your skincare” He hoisted her up and took her to the bath “you want me to braid your hair after?”

“Yes please” I respond as I watch him make the bath “would you still love me if I was a boy?”

“Yes of course!” Tenya looked at her “I fell in love with the person you are.”

“Would you still love me if I wasn’t rich or successful?”

“I loved you before the riches and success, regardless, my heart is yours.”

The bath was ready and I didn’t have anymore questions, just too much affection as he tried to bathe me. I didn’t even remember what I said when I was drunk, I blacked out at the venue when Mimi and I pounded shots while the DJ played some oldies. Next thing I knew I was waking up next to Tenya with a bunch of love marks and bites on him. We went on a honeymoon to a government protected piece of coast where anybody can use their quirks, it was one of those quirk tourism things that peaked my interest. We spent our time getting drunk and beating the other couples at the quirk games that were being hosted. Just a whole week of just that, then things got pretty serious work wise when we got back.

-Robo Dog INC offices-

“Not to cause alarm” Beizu spoke up after reviewing some spreadsheets “but we can’t keep up with demand.”

“Oh shit really?” I questioned as I leaned over to see the sheets “fuuuck you right, does that mean we’re closing off or postponing consultations?”

“Closing off for 3 months at least!” He rubbed his face “I have some this week then I’ll be turning away people for robo companion.”

“How about you just schedule them 4 months out?”

“That might be a better idea” He sipped his coffee “but we need to start looking into expand the work floor” he sets his empty cup down “we can’t hire more people to work until we have the space for more.”

“I know! But to be honest, all the bigger buildings are too far to my liking” I slumped in my chair “I have to wait for a nearby one to go on the market.”

The company was in need of a lot of things in terms of expanding but I didn’t want to start any of it yet. And it was a good thing I didn’t because there was a rise in the villain world. The League of Villains recruited more people for an uprising and Black Phantom was called upon to take it down from the inside.

“I really wish we could’ve just sniped the hand-man while we had the chance” Jin sighed as he put on his gear “then maybe everything would be at peace.”

“Yea but he’s a good source of intel” I responded “but you know the goal for tonight, we get the hot one with the bird-mask and get out.”

“Why the fuck do all the villains gotta be so hot!” complained Mimi as she loaded her holsters “it’s not fair!”

“Can we refocus please?” I sternly snapped “we’re close to the hideout, if we get lucky, we could smoke them out again.” I lowered my visor “voice changers on yall, it’s go time!”

We raid the place silently and it seemed almost too easy this time but it was easy. Who knew that everyone was sleeping with no guard? I floated us in and once we found the person of interest, Jin just floor portaled them to the holding cell and we followed after.

“Oh man that was scary easy” I was in disbelief “did yall see all the spooning going on?”

“Yea! That was weird as hell but oddly cute” Mimi commented “speaking of oddly cute, who is this perp?”

“This is Kai Chisaki, aka Overhaul” I pull up the criminal record “he was responsible for some black market quirk erasing bullets and one count of child endangerment.” I show them the picture of the victim “you remember this little girl? The one the green twink and naked man rescued?”

“OH I remember! Poor girl was in pretty bad shape but she’s all grown up now!” Jin recalled “so this is the man that got away?”

“Yea apparently after Mirio got his quirk taken away but just before the green one ran off with the girl” I put the holding cell on lockdown “this guy and Nighteye fought but then he ran off and disappeared before he sustained serious damage. And he remained at large for years, almost cold cased until the new intel on the League.”

Mimi peered into the holding cell “Why are all the hot ones the most fucked up?!” she watched him thrash about “so we’re just gonna leave this one up to the interrogation team huh?” I nod in response, she sighs “are you going to pay a visit to the little girl?”

“Yup but this time I’m not going to dread this house visit” I smile “Aizawa got full custody of her when she turned 10 and she’s like 14 now.”

-Two Days later-

“It’s so nice to see you again Miss Palma!” Eri excitedly exclaimed “er, I should say Mrs Iida!”

I stifle my laugher “Oh it’s nice to see you too Eri!” I get pounced on by the girl “very lively! But I don’t have much time to play I’m afraid” I turn to Aizawa “thank you for letting me visit today, I know it’s your day off and you much rather nap.”

“Not a problem! You’re allowed to disrupt my free days” he motions me to sit in the living room “Eri, would you please serve the tea?” We sit as Eri walks out of earshot “Soooo, are we expecting another turbo child?”

I choke on air “Oh you got me fucked up! I’m not pregnant” I chuckled “sorry to disappoint but I don’t want a child just yet” I look at the picture on his end table of him, Mic, Eri and Shinso “children don’t just magically appear at my doorstep for me to care for like you!”

“Well, I was excited to be a grandpa, because I’d still be hot” he joked as Eri came back with tea “Okay then, what do you need to tell us?”

“Thank you Eri” I politely accepted her pour of tea “it’s about Overhaul, I caught him and is under custody in our facilities.”

“You’ve done it?!” Aizawa almost spilled tea on himself “how? The Hero Society deemed it cold-case!”

“I’ve been gaining intel from the League and other villain groups for years now via a spy” I sip tea “the moment we got word that the League was hiding him with confirmed sighting, my team and I swooped in and captured him” I hand him a folder “here, I know you’ve been working tirelessly to solve this for her sake. You’d be surprised what we found.”

“I don’t believe it!” he skimmed the pages “he’s been hiding right under our noses, of course Hawks had something to do with it!” he closes the folder “does that mean Eri can-”

“Yes, it means that Eri can attend a hero academy if she wishes to do so” I smiled as I finished his sentence “it also means that she no longer needs protected accompaniment, can travel beyond the 10 mile radius and can apply of a drivers license when she’s of age.”

“I can go to the mall by myself?!” Eri perked up “and I can go to UA?!” she turns to Aizawa, starry eyed.

“You’re not going to the mall by yourself! I’ll always be there with you” he said sternly but then chuckled “but yes you can go to UA, and just in time too! Entrance exams are coming up.”

“YAY! Thank you so much Mrs Iida!” she pounces on me again for a hug “I promise to do my best for all you’ve done for me!”

“Oh you sweet child” I start to tear up “it’s not a problem! I know you’ll do your best.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way home. It’s October now and I’m so satisfied with my life. At least, as much as I can control it. It’s been a month since the last I’ve heard from my caseworker about everything back home. Nothing has gotten better, more people I knew had fled their homes, leaving their parents behind in all the violence. It seems hopeless and I wish I could do something to help. At least my family is safe and getting by, I send them money so they can live as comfortably as they did when we lived in the old house. I miss my old home but I’m more excited to establish family to make it more homely.

“How was the visit?” asked Tenya, breaking my train of thought.

“Oh it was great!” I stretch my back “Eri is getting so big! And she’s planning to attend UA now that I’ve solved the cold case.”

“Thats amazing!” he comes closer to give me a tight embrace “you make such an impact in our community and I’m so proud of you every time you change the fate of others.”

“I’m just doing what I can within my power” I hug him back “you know I don’t give up on anything it I could help it.”

“It’s one of the things I love the most about you” he lifted her up “how lucky am I to have one of the sweetest souls in the world as my love?”

Luck had nothing to do with it, I best describe my time in this country as a train wreck that gets progressively weirder and it’s fixed with some duct tape. But I only live one day at a time, I’ll worry about the destination later when the time comes. Time passes us fast, once you get married it’s like time passes faster! It’s been a year and some change, I’m 25 and still very humble with all the riches and successes that has followed me. Tenya is 26 and slowly reaching the upper 20′s in the hero ranking, thanks to his brother and myself to help him along the way. It’s mid January, Tenya gets sent on a week long mission in Sendai, it’s the first time in years that we spent time apart. I made sure I make his welcome very momentous, because I had so much to share with him when he came back.

“I’m home!” Tenya yelled excitedly as he walk through the door “I missed saying that!”

“Welcome home Tenya” the little robo yipped “Mom missed you, she’s waiting for you in the main room.”

“Oh? Thank you” he was a bit taken back by this change of greeting, he’s so used to hearing Ita respond back. He makes his way to the living room, passing the kitchen and hallway to the guest room.

“Welcome home Tenya!” I yelled once I saw him “I missed you soooo much!” I jump on him for a tight hug “mmhm! I don’t think I like you being gone for so long” I pepper kisses on him “I need my man to love me so I can annoy him with my affection.”

“You know your affection doesn’t annoy me” he laughed at my clinginess “I miss giving you besitos and holding you close at night” he lingered on my hug “oh darling, it was rough out there but I’m so happy to be home.”

“I hope you’re hungry because I cooked you a grand meal!” I excitedly lead him to the table “ta-da! a four course meal in the candlelight!”

“Four courses?! Oh you missed me, missed me” he was shocked by the amount of thought I put into his welcome. As we ate, he told me of his time in Sendai and the other heroes that were called upon “...and I really hope that family is safe. Also do you think this trip will boost me up the ranking?”

“I talked to Tensei about that actually the other day” I said as I was walking back with dessert “he said that it will if you make it onto the media, like if they name you. Otherwise it won’t.”

He watches me set down dessert “Berry tart! Oh what splendid memories just flooded back” he cracked a big dumb smile as I served him a slice “remember when we went to that cafe at the end of 1st year and I was too shy to sit that close to you?” he took a bite “and as usual, everything you make is delicious! Oh man if only I told you that day I had feelings for you, it was a perfect winter day spent with you.”

“Oh stop! You had your chances, even on the bad days!” I playfully hit his arm “but I would’ve probably started to cry right there on the town plaza if you confessed” I suddenly remembered my big piece of news “Oh! I almost forgot, this invitation came in the mail earlier in the week” I levitated a yellow envelope with ‘Iida Household’ on the front of it in nice handwriting “I wanted to wait for you to come back to open it, since it’s addressed to both of us.”

He opens the envelope “It looks like a... birthday invitation?” he furrowed his brow and thought for a moment “who’s birthday is coming up? I can’t recall anyone’s except yours.” He opens the card and reads aloud:

Dear Iida household,

Hello! I’d like to invite you to my birthday! You see, it’s my very first one and I’m very excited to see you attend. You don’t know me but I’d like to get aquatinted with the both of you. There’s not much about me but my birthday is on July 28th, I’m a Leo. It’s a long way from now but I wanted to let you know because I know how busy being a Hero and a CEO must be. Anyways, I hope to see you then!

Yours Truly,

p.s. It just occurred to me that I don’t have a name yet, maybe you can help me with that and that’ll be your present to me!

“Huh, a person with no name?” he reread the invitation “and no address to said birthday” he turned to me “did the couple a few rows in front of us have a child that I wasn’t aware of?”

I stifle my laugh “Nope, read the invite again” I point to the p.s. part “see how they’re asking you for a name for a present?”

“I see that but what an odd request” he chopped, missing the point “wouldn’t it be customary to give a gift for a growing child? It’s their first birthday!” he sees me hold in my laugh “DON’T LAUGH! Tell me what am I not getting, you’re the riddle and puzzles expert.”

“Tenya, what did I serve you in this 4 course meal?”

“Baby quiche, side salad of baby greens with snow peas, steak with baby carrots and baby corn” he pointed at the tart “ and berry tart...but I don’t see how the meal relates to this mysterious invitation?”

“Oh goodness you’re hopeless” I laugh as I stand up “think long and hard Tenya, lots of baby named food, invite to a birthday 6 and a half months away, person that wants a name as a present and that we don’t know.”

He spends a good 5 minutes of mumbling to himself, trying to make sense of all the clues I pulled for him “I’m afraid I can’t crack this case” he checks the envelop for anything he could’ve missed “what did you piece from this?”

I couldn’t contain my laughter, I was tearing up laughing “Welp, I guess I’ll tell ya” I grab his hand and put it on my stomach “welcome home....daddy.”

He didn’t get it at first then it all clicked “Ita...your pregnant?!” he fell to his knees and put both hands on my stomach “oh my- I’m such an idiot!” he put his forehead on my stomach “why did you marry me, I can’t figure out something that’s so blatantly written out for me!”

“Silly, it doesn’t matter now” I put my hand on his head “we’re going to be parents! Isn’t that exciting that we’re building that future we thought we’d never get to?”

“Yes, I’m so excited to see the life you’re growing” he looked up at me, tears in his eyes “I said you could start your happy family with me, now it’s all coming together.” he kisses my stomach “you hear that? I can’t wait to meet you!”

I go through pregnancy once again but this time I took maternity leave at both jobs right at the 5th month of my pregnancy. I mainly did it to avoid publicity and cameras, so I can do my thing in peace. Surprisingly, I was the first one in my company to go on leave and it made me want to rewrite the leave so you’d get 8 months off instead of 5. So on said leave, I did the rewrite and had Beizu do all that paperwork and update everyone. He hated me for it but at least I wasn’t in the office overworking myself while heavily pregnant. We didn’t want a baby shower, mainly because we were already well off and it seemed like theft if we made our friends come and give us baby stuff. I ordered the baby stuff online for in-store pick up and uncle Jin and aunty Mimi would go get it for me. They were very excited to be an uncle and aunt to the point of jumping ahead to how my baby will interact and love them. My parents and in-laws were super pleased with the fact that we were pregnant. The In-laws announced it to the rest of the family and they all cheered that the family name will stay nice and strong. We decided to just have the crib and other baby stuff in our bedroom so we don’t have to have a baby monitor and have our baby within reach. It was nearly go time when Tenya got leave and I was in that nesting mode.

“We have to set up the bottle warming station!” I said franticly setting up the small machine “I’m going to pumping so much it’s not even funny! OH! can you-”

“Relax Ita, please!” Tenya begged “you’ve been up since 6am and hardly sat down” he rubbed her shoulders “why don’t you let me set this up while you take a nap nap on the couch? I’ll have a snack waiting for you when you wake up.”

“Alright, if it will make you feel better” I lean into his hands “then I’ll take a break.” I lay down and the baby started moving like crazy, not letting me sleep. 

“Oh you woke up?” Tenya asked as he saw me quickly sit up after an hour.

“Not to cause alarm” I slowly turn to where Tenya was and calmly spoke “but my water broke....deadass.”

Now Tenya was in panic as I calmly called Mimi and Jin that it was time. As we got in the car, I called my parents that I was on my way to the hospital to give birth. I can’t go to a regular hospital, so I have to go to a government protected one that’s an hour away from the gated community. Lucky me that Jin can portal us there in an instant. I was in labor for a while and gave natural birth to our first child. I didn’t need to go into stasis nor get stitched up, so I got see my baby for those crucial first few days. We got home just before the first summer storm.

“Oh wow look at you!” I cooed at my baby “you’re not scared of the rain or any of those big scary noises huh?”

“Is that normal?” asked Tenya, still trying to figure out how babies work.

“Not sure, but my mom said I was a very quiet and unfussy baby” I yawned “so maybe they got it from me.”

“Come on, both of you take a nap!” he coaxed the new mom to the couch “I’ll hold you both in my arms.”

“You’re too much” I yawned as I nestled myself in his arms with the baby in mine “but I love you.”

Tenya took in his surroundings, the house was quiet and the rain was coming down hard with some thunder in the far distance. He looked down to see the baby looking back up at him, the same way Ita would look at him when he’d hold her. “Can’t sleep? What is it?” he asked the newborn “this is your home, we’re going spend every waking moment here with you. Doesn’t that sound nice?” the newborn freed one of their hands from the blanket to extend out “Oh my sweet, little girl” he kissed their hand “I can’t wait to see the person you’ll become in our hectic and wonderful world.”

About a month later, we invited our friends to meet our baby. Literally, Tenya wanted a ‘meet our baby’ party instead of a birthday party because he REALLY wanted to show off our baby. I don’t blame him, we made a cute baby.

“What a cutie! Awww” Midnight squealed “what did you end up naming her?”

“Lili Perla” I responded with the baby in my arms “like the flower. Would you like to hold her?”

“I would!” she cradled the baby gently “Hello!~ It’s your aunty Midnight! I can’t wait to see you grow up into a little turbo kid like daddy. Or curly haired rebel like mommy.”

“Nemuri, isn’t my niece the cutest baby?!” cried out Tensei “I can tell she’ll have most of the Iida strong traits!”

“That terrifies me” I split my gaze between the two brothers “I can’t deal with yo rectangular like, fucked up brows havin asses! My baby is gonna be the prettiest little thing with all my family’s beauty traits.”

“I hope she’s outspoken like you” Midnight hands me back the baby “we need more Itas in this world.”

“Oh look it’s Lili-chan!” cooed Ochako with her son in her arms “say hi Maru! She’s going to be your friend and play with you when she gets big enough.”

“Don’t be shy Maru” coaxed Midoriya “the Iida’s are our friends and Lili will be a very loyal friend just like their mom and dad.”

We watched the little boy wave and Lili waving back “Oh she’s picking up fast!” exclaimed Midnight “that’s peculiar.”

“Right?! She already knows basic things like greetings, waving, attention grabbing and flails her arms to music” I giggle a bit “like, she can’t talk but she gives a little yell when Tenya comes home and a long yell when she needs something. She doesn’t cry for anything!”

“Hey guys, I heard baby talk and had to see the little lady” Mineta said as he walked up to me “may I hold her?”

“Sure, make sure you support her head.”

“Hi there! I’m your cool uncle Minoru” he cooed at the baby “one day I’ll give you a cousin to play with.”

The baby didn’t bide well with the grape man and started crying “Oh no! She hates you” Todoroki said flatly “here, let me.” He held the baby and she instantly stopped crying “See? She doesn’t mind me.”

I started laughing “Oh fuck she’s learning a little too fast!” I saw that Shoto brought Touya with him “Hi Touya, surprised to see you here.”

“Yea, I had to see for myself that you had a baby” he said as he peered over Shoto’s shoulder to see the baby “what a cute little squish” Shoto hands him the baby “you don’t know me but your mommy saved me from some baddies and brought me to my family, don’t you grow up and give your mother trouble!” He turns to me “she isn’t afraid of me.”

“Seems like she isn’t afraid of anything yet” Touya hands me the baby “I’m sure it’s just a curiosity phase and she’ll be crying more as she gets older.”

“May I hold her?” Tokoyami asked me “lets see if she will cry with me.” I hand her over and she smiled as her hands touched his beak “nope, she’s like her mother, curious and giggly” he nuzzles her and Dark Shadow comes out to see the baby. Lili sees it and starts to grunt to touch it “You want Dark Shadow? Um, okay.” 

“I don’t believe it” Shinso smirked “you two managed to make the ideal baby in one try” Tokoyami hands Shinso the baby “oh the things you’ll get to experience with your mother, lucky you” Lili tugs on his shirt “what is it? You like the satin shirt?” Lili grunts in response “Ita what are you feeding this child to have them this...smart?”

“I’m just breastfeeding her I swear!” I look to Tenya “we have no idea if her level of response is because of a quirk or it’s her own level of intelligence and we’re just doing a good job at stimulating her enough.”

Seeing her grow up into little Miss Independent was quite the journey for a new parent. She was walking at 11 months old and running a few weeks after her 1st birthday, causing a lot of mischief. At 1 and 4 months she was talking in English and Japanese, small phrases like ‘howdy’ ‘mom’ ‘dad’ ‘doggy’ ‘hot’ and ‘not nice’. Her first word was doggy because Muffin 2.0 had to switch roles from security to nanny when she’d run around the house. When she turned two, her quirk grew in, smaller rocket-like engines on her feet! The amount of joy the Iida family got from hearing about this brought them to tears that the legacy will live on. My family was impressed that it wasn’t telekinesis and was excited to see another random quirk in our gene pool. But it didn’t stop there, when she got a little runny nose and blew her nose, her clothes instantly turned to threads! She had a second quirk, Master Thread! Tenya and I were so happy that she was blessed with two separate quirks that we helped her in anyway possible to develop her skills better at home. She really liked dancing and all the pretty costumes, so I put her in private lessons and fell in love with it. We didn’t stop at her though, we had another baby after Lili’s 3rd birthday, a baby boy named Iwata El Roca. And 4 years after him, twins! A boy and girl named Hanaka Rosa and Tensei Oro...can you tell who named who? It was a full house come Christmas time of six people and a robo dog. Everyone was tired and sprawled about on the couch, Lili was holding Hanaka on the far side, Ita was holding Iwata as she leaned on Tenya’s shoulder. Tenya was cradling baby Tensei and everyone was asleep after a grand meal and watching a holiday movie, except for Tenya. He took in his surroundings and sighed. He was in a new home, the house was quiet with just the sounds of his family breathing, snow was falling outside, everyone was safe and warm. How weird that everything fell into place when he fell in love with one person, now he shares his love in 5 different people that show it back.

“Hnn, Tenya” Ita drowsily spoke “we have to put the kids to bed.”

“Just 5 more minutes, please love.” He softly responded “When will we ever have them this little and peaceful again?”

“Fine, 5 more minutes” she pulled her son closer to her chest “I love you.”

“I love you more” he kissed her forehead.

-Book 1 End-

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