#chapter 40.75

[theastrophilearchitect]

I started writing a book.

And I’m mad about it, because I just started this post, brought up a new tab and lost it because I didn’t save my draft.

Anyway. That’s a thing I did. Wow.

As of this moment, this post won’t be going up until April 19th, but I’m starting writing this at 10.30pm on Sunday, February 21st, 2021. I’ve done a lot in the last couple weeks, and I want to have some record of all I’ve accomplished without just letting most of it fade over the next two months.

I’ve always wanted to be an author. From when I was reading under my covers with a torch past bedtime, through the years I wanted to be an artist, through the years I wanted to be a lawyer. It’s always been there - no matter what primary career path I went down, I wanted to be an author. The last few years, I’ve been invested in becoming a biologist, and that dream really took a backseat.

In the start of this lockdown, my mental health went downhill, and some advice my therapist gave me was just to prioritise myself. It sounds simple enough, but, even in my free time, I’d been focusing on schoolwork - revising constantly for exams I’m still not sure are actually happening. (Boris Johnson is apparently making an announcement tomorrow about beginning to ease lockdown, but we’ll see) So, on Saturday, February 6th, I started an attempt to coalesce the ideas I had floating in my head into something tangible.

I’ve tried to write books countless times (not technically countless - I have all the documents on my laptop, so I could if I wanted to), but mostly, I’ve never gotten further than a couple bare plot points and some characters, maybe some ideas for subplots, before I’ve stagnated and given up.

Three times, I’ve finished a skeletal outline. Twice, I’ve started to go back over those outlines only to realise they made no sense or just seemed week, and simply not cared enough to fix it. Until now, I guess.

February 6th, 7th, and fast-forward to my week off beginning the 15th, up until the 19th, I kept developing this concept I’d managed to form, but I was struggling to establish a coherent plot. I had up until and including a midpoint (which was later condensed into just a first act), but everything after that was just a void. I began searching for some skeletal structure I could apply to it, both to work on pacing and fill in the blanks. I tried several, and got a little further, but was about to give up hope.

Then I remembered a video by Katytastic I’d watched years ago about the 3-act, 9-block, 27-chapter structure she used, and couldn’t see the harm in giving it a go. And something clicked.

You can find the video here - the structure’s detailed and easy to follow, plus she even gives an example of using it to generate a plot.

I started binge-watching her writing vlogs in the background, and even started using her same writing program, Scrivener, which just made every a thousand times easier by taking away the need to juggle a billion Word documents. It’s fairly pricey, but I’m currently using the 30-day free trial - it’s 30 days of use, not of ownership, too: if you use it every day, it lasts 30 days, but if you use it once a week, it lasts 30 weeks.

Where Kat used the 27 parts the structure broke down into as chapters, I chose to refer to them as beats, and separate chapters later.

On Saturday the 20th, I finished defining my scenes and started writing an actual draft. I wrote two scenes, putting me at a collective word count (not including notes, synopses, etc.) of 2,580 words.

This morning, Sunday the 21st, I started over. I hated my opening. I’m not going to go through the mess of today’s process, but I currently have around 80 one-line-outline scenes, split into 3 acts. I wrote a draft of my prologue and detailed-outlined (which I’m mentally referring to as zero-outlining because it’s similar to how Katytastic does what she calls a zero draft, but is very much outlining, not a draft) two and a half other chapters. Scriver also tells me how many words I wrote in total, across notes, character profiles, location lists, a document I’ve named ‘Train of Thought’ for my ramblings as I go etc.

Today, I wrote a grand total of 4,141 words, which, rather counterintuitively, puts me at a draft total of 2,598. That makes sense. Anyway.

There are a lot of unknowns in the world right now, and I have no idea how much time I’ll have in the next six months to invest in this project, but I’d like, at bare minimum, to have one complete draft by the start of the next school year in September, which gives me just over 6 months. Which is probably too much time to actually motivate myself, but that’s not the point.

A manuscript needs to have a minimum word count of 50K words to be considered a novel, so, even though my ultimate goal for this project is around 80K words, 50K is going to be my goal for this draft.

I’m being optimistic about sticking with this.

Tuesday 23/02/2021 - Word Count: 3,099 I wrote nothing yesterday; planning to focus writing solely on days off rather than work days, but last night, watching through the incredibly long queue of Alexa Donne writing videos, I came to the conclusion writing every day, even just a little, would be the best way to ensure I keep working on this, so I set myself a goal of just 500 words a day.

Wednesday 24/02/2021 - Word Count: 5,350 After doing a little bit of maths as to how long this outlining and draft would take me if I were to only write 500 words a day, I decided to boost that goal to 1,000. I got started around 1pm today, online school draining me so much I couldn’t face another two hours. I worked on and off until 6pm, and around 4.45pm, I finished outlining Act One!

Thursday 25/02/2021 - Word Count: 7,022 I continued my scene outlining into Act Two, but I hit a brick wall around the midpoint. I have to write chronologically - some people jump around, but I have to write linearly, or it feels like I’m trying to make something in a void. It just doesn’t work. I didn’t know how to get from one scene to the next - there were so many things I needed to establish to get there, but I didn’t want to backtrack. I decided to re-jig the whole thing, but, after dinner, I realised I didn’t have to, and instead, decided to just start a draft, conscious of the things I need to establish as I go.

Friday 26/02/2021 - Word Count: 8,208 Starting draft one, I rewrote the prologue I’d already written, technically putting me to my second draft of it, because I’d been thinking about it for days and just wanted to revisit it, and it was so much better. Then I moved on to chapter one, but decided I wanted to re-jig my chapters. While outlining, I’d split the whole book into only about twenty chapters, but decided to go for shorter ones for more effective divisions of the story. I got most of the way through the first scene of chapter one, but basically ran out of both time and motivation, since I hadn’t heavily outlined that scene. in total, I wrote over 2000 words today, but because I only increased the prologue word count by about 100 words, it didn’t do that much to the total count.

Saturday 27/02/2021 - Word Count: 11,050 I got some chores done Saturday morning and focused on finishing my book so I could include it in my February wrap-up, but I still had time to get some writing done around mid-day. My goal was just to hit 10K this weekend, but I though I could do it in one day. I wrote about 1,000 words before feeling a little word-drained, but took a break for lunch, got back to it and wrote 2,400 words. Though that only added a little over 2,000 to the word count, it took me to 10K! I’m 20% of the way to being able to call it a novel! We’re in quintuple digits!

And then eight hours later, I wrote another thousand words and got to 11K.

Sunday 28/02/2021 - Word Count: 13,722 I spent most of my Sunday morning writing, though it took me more than two hours to write about 1500 words, though it only added about 1100 to my count. I decided to set myself an overall and weekly deadlines to hold myself accountable. Due to the fact I don’t yet have a clue how many words this will work out as, I decided I wanted to have either a complete first draft or 100K words (which I doubt I’ll reach, but it seems like a good way to make myself finish the draft before my deadline) by the end of April. Which works out to a little under 1500 words a day, or just under 11K a week, which is perfectly doable. Bearing in mind my current word count is including outlines, but I still believe in myself.

I wrote another 1600 words later, which took me to 14K, until I deleted the 300 word outline I wrote for one scene, but I worked out my words per day for the next two months with the assumption of a 10K word count as of March 1st and a target of either a complete draft or 100K words by the end of April, so I’m nearly 4,000 words ahead of schedule. Which gives me 6,606 words to write this week, instead of 10,328. (If you couldn’t tell, I like numbers. They just make sense to me.

Monday 01/03/2021 - Word Count: 15,005 I didn’t quite hit my daily goal, but I was completely leached of motivation today, I’m ahead of schedule anyway and I was only under by less than 200 words. It’s alright. But, hey, we hit 15K! Two days after hitting 10K!

Tuesday 02/03/2021 - Word Count: 21,119 This was an insane writing day. My end-of-day target was only 16,480, and that was still ahead of schedule - if I was sticking to the 100K by April 30th, I’d only actually need to be at 12,950 today. This was the best writing day I’ve ever had. I wrote before school and during breaks, which kept both my writing and working momentum up.

I didn’t read a page of my current read, but I wrote a total of 7,681 words and increased my wordcount by 6,114 words, or literally an additional 40.75%. I hit 20K three days after hitting 10K, and am 42.238% of the way to being able to say I wrote a novel, be it a shitty first draft that won’t be complete at 50K words.

I also finished chapter three, which I’ve been working on for three days and came out ~5,000 words, and wrote chapters four and five in their entirety.

Note to self: this is day 10 of vaguely outline-drafting this project.

Wednesday 03/03/2021 - Word Count: 23,364 I've only written 490 words today, as of writing this update, but I just wanted to make note of the fact I've done some calculations, and can reasonably finish my draft this month. I'm still not completely sure how long it'll work out to be, so I can't quite work out my daily words to finish on the 31st, but if I stick to my current 1,475 words a day, I'll hit 63,894 words by the end of the month, which is a little less than I imagine this draft will be, but if I stick to that as a minimum, my first draft won't have to go into April.

I'd like to post this later this week, but I already have a post for this Friday, so God only knows how long this will be by the time it goes up. So far, I've written 1,900 words today, and I don't think I'm out of fuel yet, but I'm stopping because I need to read today, and I'd rather not burn out. I'm over my goal, anyway.

Oh, also, I'm nearly at 25K, which is halfway to a novel, but I haven't broken into Act Two yet, which means this book will be 75K minimum. I'm going to do some maths and work out how many words a day to hit 80K by March 31st. 2,030. That's doable. So I haven't read, but back to writing for like ten minutes.

I've now hit an additional 2,245 words for the day, though I wrote a total of 2,663

Thursday 04/03/2021 - Word Count: 25,415 I've decided to work out how many words I need to write each day to hit 80K by March 31st, and watch the fluctuations. (I like statistics). It should steadily go down throughout the month if I surpass it each day. Today's minimum word count is 2,023, already seven words less than yesterday's. How exciting.

The last scene of Act One was very heavy on world-building I haven't yet figured out, so I stuck what was meant to happen in brackets and just moved on, meaning I have now broken into Act Two!

I think, during the week, I'm going to focus on just meeting my minimum word count rather than exceeding it, just to save fuel for the weekends, when I can write so many more words.

And, we hit 25K! I'm halfway to a novel!

Friday 05/03/2021 - Word Count: 26,693 In complete honesty, I'm beginning to lose momentum. Maybe it's just today, but I don't really want to write and feel like I need a break, but I'm going to make myself write anyway. I'm going to make myself keep writing until this draft is done, however shitty it may end up. I really hate first drafts.

When you say 2,000 words is only 7-8 pages, it doesn't sound like that much to write per day but my god. Luckily, most of the stuff I've had to save to a Pinterest board called 'Writing Motivation' says if you write when you don't want to, it should pass instead of worsening. I wanted to hit 35K this weekend, but I'm not sure I'll have the momentum. I'll at least hit 31,270, though, which is my minimum goal for this week. I'm still over 700 words off my goal for today, but I'm taking a break because my head is foggy and there's still eight hours left in the day. Besides, 700 after dinner is easy. She says, realising she's probably jinxing it. Oh, well. 80K by March 31st would be difficult, even if I weren't going back to school soon, but that's a stretch goal. 100K by April 31st is my minimum, and I'm 9,000 ahead of where I need to be for that.

I think I’m stagnating because I’ve hit the ‘Fun and Games’ section, which I find really boring. I’m going to try to keep going with it, but I may just skip it and come back later.

Saturday 06/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,150 So, I did not get the extra 700 words in. Before dinner, some stuff I had to deal with came up, and by the time it was done, I just wanted to go to bed, so I did. Today, I'm going to try to make up for it, which I think is reasonable because it is now the weekend. I'm still kinda exhausted this morning, but I'm going to do my best, and my wrist hurts, but I'm not sure why. You'd think it would be from all the typing, but only one wrist hurts - you know what? Never mind. They do both hurt. I'm just not sure why, but it doesn't hurt typing this, so that doesn't make any sense. Anyway, to hit my word count for the day, I need to write 2,555 words, which doesn't sound like too much, but it kinda is because I'm primarily writing Act Two at the minute, and for every thousand words I write, I lose like 400 from my outline. You'd think I'd just not include my scene outlines in the word count, but it's too late for that now.

I'm thinking this over, and I really don't think trying to write 80K by the end of the month is going to be good for either my motivation, mental health, or ability to function back at school, so I'm going to stick to 100K or a finished draft by April 30th, and re-work out my goals from there, based on yesterday's word count, so I'm not making myself do catch-up today.

So, to hit 100K by April 30th, I only need to write 1,309 words each day (which will decrease over time because if that's my minimum now, I'll probably surpass it, decreasing the amount of words left etc.). That's so much less pressure.

God, I really don't want to write today. I just want to watch YouTube and Netflix and read.

Okay, so here's the thing. I've been working on this story straight for three weeks and I'm kinda exhausted of it. I'm not done with it, not at all, and I want to keep working on it because it exists, which makes it workable.

I watched a writing vlog by ShaelinWrites yesterday, and she said she writes different projects at once, alternating in week- or multi-week-long blocks. I think I might try that.

My plan with this post and the following updates was to keep updating it until the day it goes up, the day after which is when I begin drafting the next, but, since I may be switching projects for a while and this is really about the project I've decided to dub 'Bay Tree' (which is just, I guess, a pseudonym for here because while I have no idea what it would eventually be called, I know that's nothing like the title I'd want to give it) so I'd want to start a new post for a new project.

I'm now doing a little outlining instead of actually continuing writing, but I think this will help me, though I'm still not certain about whether or not I'm going to directly continue with this specific project for the minute. Instead of setting daily goals based on a target, I'm also just going to say 1,000 words a day, and see where that takes me.

I've just been outlining into Act Three, and I've met a major plot stumble, but I'm going to work that out and explain what I'm doing in my next writing update.

So, go drink some water, eat if you haven't eaten in the last few hours, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful you are and how much happiness you deserve, and, if you want to write a book, stop thinking about it, and go write.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 1]

Oh FUCK that was a lot of chapters! Here’s a full index of Book 1. Thanks for reading! It really means a lot that theres a handful of y’all that read each chapter when I post and ask questions. STAY TUNED FOR BOOK 2 CHAPTER 1!

Chapter 1: *plays Joji’s Yeah Right* 

Chapter 2: Ass-Whoopin’ Boogaloo 

Chapter 3: Itati the Suspect

Chapter 4: Fuck my Drag Right?!

Chapter 5: Y’all Hear Sumthin?

Chapter 6: All Tea, All Shade

Chapter 7: Get in the Car Loser

Chapter 8: They Call Me Mother

Chapter 9: Jealousy is a Disease, Get Better Bitch 

Chapter 10: T is for Trouble, And Make it Triple

Chapter 11: Secret Gardens Grow Forbidden Fruits

Chapter 12: Ni es Secreto, Soy un Pinche Chingona

Chapter 13: Weird Flex, But Ok

Chapter 14: Sopresa Puta 

Chapter 15: I’m Just Tryna Have A Good Time  

Chapter 16: Panic at the Dorms

Chapter 17: Prepare to Get Your Shit Rocked

Chapter 18: Bitch Me Too, The Fuck 

Chapter 19: Itati the Mysterious One

Chapter 20: Whats the Tea Sis?

Chapter 21: What’s 9 plus 10?

Chapter 22: Back to School Boogaloo 

Chapter 23: Who the Hell Said That?

Chapter 24: Let Me In, LET ME IN!

Chapter 25: Itati The Brave 

Chapter 26: Horse in A Hole.jpg  

Chapter 27: Honey, You Got a Big Storm Comin’!

Chapter 28: Finally! Some Good Fucking Food!

Chapter 29: You Better Watch Out, You Better Watch Out, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!

Chapter 30: Ya Wey! Pinche Pendejo Wey! 

Chapter 30.5: I’m Not Playing These Games! 

Chapter 31: Oh Lawd He Comin’!

Chapter 32: Chil Lofi Beats to Panic to

Chapter 33: I’m a Bad Bitch You Can’t Kill Me! 

Chapter 34: Road Work Ahead? Uh Yeah, I Sure Do Hope It Does! 

Chapter 35: I Want to See My Little Boy~ Here He Comes! 

Chapter 36: Miss Keisha? Miss Keisha! Oh My God She Fuckin Dead 

Chapter 37: Oh Hell Nah~ 

Chapter 38: Plastic Taste By Joji

Chapter 39: What Are Those?! THOSE ARE MY CHANCLAS! 

Chapter 40: What the FUCK is Up Kyle? 

Chapter 40.5: NO! What Did You Say to Me?! 

Chapter 40.75: Step The FUCK Up Kyle! 

[b-sidemusic]

EAST ANGLIAN GIG LISTINGS: 14TH-28TH DECEMBER 2017

Every Thursday, you bring your faces and we bring the noise.  To submit your own news and listings, click here! Thursday 14th Burston, Crown Catflap Dilemma Free entry - 8.30pm - Event page Cambridge, Blue Moon Dean McPhee, Sam McLoughlin and David Chatton Baker & Rachel Watkins £6 - 8pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys Craig Garrod, Jakob Deist, Mark Halls, Sam Ryder & Carousel Free entry - 6pm - Event page Norwich, Open Wooden Arms £8 - 7pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary 24 Robbers, Blood Like Honey & Metanoia PWYC - 7pm - Tickets Friday 15th Cambridge, Junction J1 The Fiver: The Extons, Tom Lumley, Deep City & Anthony Rubery £6 - 6.45pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms Moth Conspiracy, The Seven Twenty & The Pawn Hearts £5 - 8pm - Tickets Colchester, Arts Centre Eliza Carthy and the Wayward Band & Duotone £20 - 7.30pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Grounds For Divorce Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys SuperGlu, Impala, Piers James, Dilute to Taste, Shiners & Shooty and the Bang Bang £5 - 6pm - Event page Ipswich, Smokehouse Pessimist, Counties, Prey Drive, In and Out of Sleep & Excuses £3 - 7.30pm - Tickets Ipswich, Steamboat Open Mic Free entry - 8.30pm - Event page Norwich, Arts Centre Father Funk, DJ Yes, Gypsy Swing & Daniel Tuffs £10 - 9pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary King Kiwanda Free entry - 7pm - Event page Norwich, Waterfront Studio UK Subs £17.60 - 6.30pm - Tickets Woodbridge, Angel Aartwork Free entry - 9pm - Event page Saturday 16th Cambridge, Blue Moon Shake Your Turkey Feather Free entry - 8pm - Event page Cambridge, Corn Exchange Glenn Miller Orchestra £17.25-£34.75 - 2.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Corn Exchange White Christmas £26.75-£40.75 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Junction J1 Ezio £15.50 - 7pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms Iron Fist £10 - 8pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Stone Shuffle Jones Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys Ghosts of Men, Rad Pitt, Surge, Mandeville, Stealing Signs, Mystery Act & The Baskervilles £5 - 6pm - Event page Ipswich, Smokehouse Radio Orwell, Sun Scream, Hillmisters & Jack Rundell £5 - 7.30pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary Dub Conductor & Dub, Sweat and Beers £5 - 9.30pm - Tickets Sunday 17th Bury St Edmunds, Oakes Barn Chris Mass: Beast With a Gun, Thy Last Drop,  Bury Boy All Stars & Santa’s One Man Band £5 - 7pm - Event page Cambridge, Portland Arms The Archive £5 - 7pm - Tickets Colchester, Arts Centre Jason Frederick Cinematic Trio £14 - 7pm - Tickets Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys The Gavin Bowern Band, Laura Wyatt & Lianne Kaye Free entry - 6pm - Event page Norwich, Owl Sanctuary Ducking Punches, March & Chapter Of Wolves £6 - 7pm - Tickets Norwich, Waterfront Studio Santa Cruz & Skarlett Riot £13.20 - 7pm - Tickets Monday 18th Bury St Edmunds, Apex Jazz at the Movies £16 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Corn Exchange UB40 & Maxi Jazz and the E-Type Boys £40.25-£75 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms The Treatment £15 - 8pm - Tickets Colchester, Arts Centre The Churchfitters £11 - 7.45pm - Tickets Norwich, Arts Centre Richard Dawson £15 - 8pm - Tickets Tuesday 19th Bury St Edmunds, Apex Roy Wood Rock and Roll Band £27.50-£29.50 - 8pm - Tickets Cambridge, Corn Exchange Fish £30.25 - 7.30pm - Tickets Norwich, Arts Centre Moulettes, Bessie Turner & Raevennan Husbandes £13.50 - 8pm - Tickets Wednesday 20th Bury St Edmunds, Apex Only Men Aloud & Natasha Cook Jenkins £25 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms John Fairhurst £10 - 8pm - Tickets Ipswich, Swan Wednesday Warriors Free entry - 8pm - Event page Norwich, Arts Centre The Vagaband, Murphy’s Lore & The Arlenes £12 - 8pm - Tickets Thursday 21st Burston, Crown Buskers Revisited Free entry - 8pm - Event page Bury St Edmunds, Apex Eliza Carthy and the Wayward Band £20 - 8pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms The Junkoactive Wasteman and His Tinphonia, 2late & Acid Tea £5 - 7.45pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Jazz Jam Christmas Special Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys Wooden Maiden Contact venue for details Ipswich, Swan Blues Jam Free entry - 9pm - Event page Norwich, Arts Centre The Vagaband & Shackleton Trio £12 - 8pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary Wayward Natives Free entry - 7pm - Tickets Norwich, Waterfront Mostly Autumn £16.50 - 7.30pm - Tickets Friday 22nd Bury St Edmunds, Hunter Club Rebop £14 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Blue Moon Motherchip Connexion Free entry - 7pm - Event page Cambridge, Corn Exchange Cambridgeshire County Youth Orchestra £12 - 4pm - Tickets Cambridge, Junction The Craig Charles Funk and Soul Club £17 - 10pm - Tickets Colchester, Arts Centre Goodiepal, The Dead Rat Orchestra, Lee Ashcroft & Mick The Hippy’s Krautrock Disco £7 - 7.30pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Electrum Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Soundhouse Special Measures Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys Imoni, Hattie Erawan, Ellie Cornell, Lauren Francis & Sophie Nash £3 - 9pm - Event page Ipswich, Steamboat Tavern Back To The Point, In My Disguise & The Naked French Free entry - 7pm - Event page Ipswich, Swan MotherfVnker Free entry - 8pm - Event page Norwich, Arts Centre The Blockheads & Ben C Winn SOLD OUT - Info Norwich, Epic Studios Tom Malachowski £5 - 7.30pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary E.A. Dames £5 - 7pm - Event page Norwich, Waterfront Studio The Visitors, No Story Goes, Couch & Suburban Tide £6 - 6.30pm - Tickets Saturday 23rd Cambridge, Portland Arms The British Public, The British IBM, Pete Um, Allotment & The Basque Roads £5.50 - 7.05pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Lettuceheads Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Soundhouse Mixtronicxs Free entry - 9pm - Event page Ipswich, Swan Oranje, Fick As Fieves & Impilo Free entry - 8pm - Event page Norwich, Epic Studios Bad Manners & Max Splodge £21 - 7pm - Tickets Norwich, Waterfront Studio The Quireboys £20.35 - 6.30pm - Tickets Sunday 24th Colchester, Bull Stiff In The Morning Free entry - 9pm - Event page Wednesday 27th Cambridge, Portland Arms The Furious Sleep & Doyouthinkhesawus? £6 - 7pm - Tickets Ipswich, Smokehouse Pizza Tramp, Werecats & Dealing With Damage £5 - 7.30pm - Tickets Norwich, LCR The Hollywood Undead & The One Hundred £20.35 - 6.30pm - Tickets Thursday 28th Cambridge, Portland Arms Moonstrips, Ian Jeffs, Pickering Brothers & Ricky Boom-Boom £5.50 - 7pm - Tickets Ipswich, Steamboat Tavern Folk At The Boat Free entry - 8pm - Event page Norwich, Owl Sanctuary Alastoria, Deities, MTXS, To The Nines & A Thousand Voices £5 - 7pm - Tickets

Photo: Stealing Signs (playing Colchester Three Wise Monkeys, 16th December) from Facebook. Listings Editor: Kate Quigley.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

New to the AU? Start here!

Part1 Part2

Chapter 40.75: Step the FUCK Up Kyle!

The two arrive at the venue after everyone thanks to Jin’s portal express. Seeing everyone have fun sparked joy and even more excitement for the future. There was no gift or money giving because both of us were well off and just wanted everyone to attend. No garter toss because Tenya drinks respect women juice but I did toss the bouquet. That turned out to be a disaster because Pixie Bob, Midnight and some of the other single heroes were fighting each other for it. Then came my favorite part, the couples dance. We danced to Around by Niki with a slide-show of pictures on the screen behind us. We did a bunch of fancy floating moves with our quirks and we finally had our slow dance kiss at the end. Then came cake, it was almost too pretty to eat and I got a little dodgy when we were supposed to feed a piece to each other. The wedding photographer unfortunately captured all that nervousness but it was funny to look back at. I did so much dancing and drinking with my agent friends that Tenya had to take care of me toward the end of the night. We said our goodbyes and thank yous before going home.

“Tenya! I love you bitccchhh!” I was drunkenly serenading him.

“I know you do”

“I’m never gonna stop loving you, bitccchhhhh!”

Tenya was trying to undo the straps on my dress “Hold still, I’m trying to get you out of your dress.”

“Oh I’ll just-” I teleport out of my dress with just my underwear on “oops, I’m nakey hehehe.”

“Ah so that’s how you do it” he finally figured out my secret to fast undressing and dressing “you teleport in and out of clothes!”

“Yup” I teleport out of my underwear “now I’m true nakey” I throw myself onto Tenya “I’m not a virgin but I want you to do me like one.”

“No darling, you’re drunk” he took off his suit jacket “but if you wait a bit, we can bathe together.”

“Will you wash my hair?”

“Yes”

“Will you take off my makeup?”

“Of course, I’ll even do your skincare” He hoisted her up and took her to the bath “you want me to braid your hair after?”

“Yes please” I respond as I watch him make the bath “would you still love me if I was a boy?”

“Yes of course!” Tenya looked at her “I fell in love with the person you are.”

“Would you still love me if I wasn’t rich or successful?”

“I loved you before the riches and success, regardless, my heart is yours.”

The bath was ready and I didn’t have anymore questions, just too much affection as he tried to bathe me. I didn’t even remember what I said when I was drunk, I blacked out at the venue when Mimi and I pounded shots while the DJ played some oldies. Next thing I knew I was waking up next to Tenya with a bunch of love marks and bites on him. We went on a honeymoon to a government protected piece of coast where anybody can use their quirks, it was one of those quirk tourism things that peaked my interest. We spent our time getting drunk and beating the other couples at the quirk games that were being hosted. Just a whole week of just that, then things got pretty serious work wise when we got back.

-Robo Dog INC offices-

“Not to cause alarm” Beizu spoke up after reviewing some spreadsheets “but we can’t keep up with demand.”

“Oh shit really?” I questioned as I leaned over to see the sheets “fuuuck you right, does that mean we’re closing off or postponing consultations?”

“Closing off for 3 months at least!” He rubbed his face “I have some this week then I’ll be turning away people for robo companion.”

“How about you just schedule them 4 months out?”

“That might be a better idea” He sipped his coffee “but we need to start looking into expand the work floor” he sets his empty cup down “we can’t hire more people to work until we have the space for more.”

“I know! But to be honest, all the bigger buildings are too far to my liking” I slumped in my chair “I have to wait for a nearby one to go on the market.”

The company was in need of a lot of things in terms of expanding but I didn’t want to start any of it yet. And it was a good thing I didn’t because there was a rise in the villain world. The League of Villains recruited more people for an uprising and Black Phantom was called upon to take it down from the inside.

“I really wish we could’ve just sniped the hand-man while we had the chance” Jin sighed as he put on his gear “then maybe everything would be at peace.”

“Yea but he’s a good source of intel” I responded “but you know the goal for tonight, we get the hot one with the bird-mask and get out.”

“Why the fuck do all the villains gotta be so hot!” complained Mimi as she loaded her holsters “it’s not fair!”

“Can we refocus please?” I sternly snapped “we’re close to the hideout, if we get lucky, we could smoke them out again.” I lowered my visor “voice changers on yall, it’s go time!”

We raid the place silently and it seemed almost too easy this time but it was easy. Who knew that everyone was sleeping with no guard? I floated us in and once we found the person of interest, Jin just floor portaled them to the holding cell and we followed after.

“Oh man that was scary easy” I was in disbelief “did yall see all the spooning going on?”

“Yea! That was weird as hell but oddly cute” Mimi commented “speaking of oddly cute, who is this perp?”

“This is Kai Chisaki, aka Overhaul” I pull up the criminal record “he was responsible for some black market quirk erasing bullets and one count of child endangerment.” I show them the picture of the victim “you remember this little girl? The one the green twink and naked man rescued?”

“OH I remember! Poor girl was in pretty bad shape but she’s all grown up now!” Jin recalled “so this is the man that got away?”

“Yea apparently after Mirio got his quirk taken away but just before the green one ran off with the girl” I put the holding cell on lockdown “this guy and Nighteye fought but then he ran off and disappeared before he sustained serious damage. And he remained at large for years, almost cold cased until the new intel on the League.”

Mimi peered into the holding cell “Why are all the hot ones the most fucked up?!” she watched him thrash about “so we’re just gonna leave this one up to the interrogation team huh?” I nod in response, she sighs “are you going to pay a visit to the little girl?”

“Yup but this time I’m not going to dread this house visit” I smile “Aizawa got full custody of her when she turned 10 and she’s like 14 now.”

-Two Days later-

“It’s so nice to see you again Miss Palma!” Eri excitedly exclaimed “er, I should say Mrs Iida!”

I stifle my laugher “Oh it’s nice to see you too Eri!” I get pounced on by the girl “very lively! But I don’t have much time to play I’m afraid” I turn to Aizawa “thank you for letting me visit today, I know it’s your day off and you much rather nap.”

“Not a problem! You’re allowed to disrupt my free days” he motions me to sit in the living room “Eri, would you please serve the tea?” We sit as Eri walks out of earshot “Soooo, are we expecting another turbo child?”

I choke on air “Oh you got me fucked up! I’m not pregnant” I chuckled “sorry to disappoint but I don’t want a child just yet” I look at the picture on his end table of him, Mic, Eri and Shinso “children don’t just magically appear at my doorstep for me to care for like you!”

“Well, I was excited to be a grandpa, because I’d still be hot” he joked as Eri came back with tea “Okay then, what do you need to tell us?”

“Thank you Eri” I politely accepted her pour of tea “it’s about Overhaul, I caught him and is under custody in our facilities.”

“You’ve done it?!” Aizawa almost spilled tea on himself “how? The Hero Society deemed it cold-case!”

“I’ve been gaining intel from the League and other villain groups for years now via a spy” I sip tea “the moment we got word that the League was hiding him with confirmed sighting, my team and I swooped in and captured him” I hand him a folder “here, I know you’ve been working tirelessly to solve this for her sake. You’d be surprised what we found.”

“I don’t believe it!” he skimmed the pages “he’s been hiding right under our noses, of course Hawks had something to do with it!” he closes the folder “does that mean Eri can-”

“Yes, it means that Eri can attend a hero academy if she wishes to do so” I smiled as I finished his sentence “it also means that she no longer needs protected accompaniment, can travel beyond the 10 mile radius and can apply of a drivers license when she’s of age.”

“I can go to the mall by myself?!” Eri perked up “and I can go to UA?!” she turns to Aizawa, starry eyed.

“You’re not going to the mall by yourself! I’ll always be there with you” he said sternly but then chuckled “but yes you can go to UA, and just in time too! Entrance exams are coming up.”

“YAY! Thank you so much Mrs Iida!” she pounces on me again for a hug “I promise to do my best for all you’ve done for me!”

“Oh you sweet child” I start to tear up “it’s not a problem! I know you’ll do your best.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way home. It’s October now and I’m so satisfied with my life. At least, as much as I can control it. It’s been a month since the last I’ve heard from my caseworker about everything back home. Nothing has gotten better, more people I knew had fled their homes, leaving their parents behind in all the violence. It seems hopeless and I wish I could do something to help. At least my family is safe and getting by, I send them money so they can live as comfortably as they did when we lived in the old house. I miss my old home but I’m more excited to establish family to make it more homely.

“How was the visit?” asked Tenya, breaking my train of thought.

“Oh it was great!” I stretch my back “Eri is getting so big! And she’s planning to attend UA now that I’ve solved the cold case.”

“Thats amazing!” he comes closer to give me a tight embrace “you make such an impact in our community and I’m so proud of you every time you change the fate of others.”

“I’m just doing what I can within my power” I hug him back “you know I don’t give up on anything it I could help it.”

“It’s one of the things I love the most about you” he lifted her up “how lucky am I to have one of the sweetest souls in the world as my love?”

Luck had nothing to do with it, I best describe my time in this country as a train wreck that gets progressively weirder and it’s fixed with some duct tape. But I only live one day at a time, I’ll worry about the destination later when the time comes. Time passes us fast, once you get married it’s like time passes faster! It’s been a year and some change, I’m 25 and still very humble with all the riches and successes that has followed me. Tenya is 26 and slowly reaching the upper 20′s in the hero ranking, thanks to his brother and myself to help him along the way. It’s mid January, Tenya gets sent on a week long mission in Sendai, it’s the first time in years that we spent time apart. I made sure I make his welcome very momentous, because I had so much to share with him when he came back.

“I’m home!” Tenya yelled excitedly as he walk through the door “I missed saying that!”

“Welcome home Tenya” the little robo yipped “Mom missed you, she’s waiting for you in the main room.”

“Oh? Thank you” he was a bit taken back by this change of greeting, he’s so used to hearing Ita respond back. He makes his way to the living room, passing the kitchen and hallway to the guest room.

“Welcome home Tenya!” I yelled once I saw him “I missed you soooo much!” I jump on him for a tight hug “mmhm! I don’t think I like you being gone for so long” I pepper kisses on him “I need my man to love me so I can annoy him with my affection.”

“You know your affection doesn’t annoy me” he laughed at my clinginess “I miss giving you besitos and holding you close at night” he lingered on my hug “oh darling, it was rough out there but I’m so happy to be home.”

“I hope you’re hungry because I cooked you a grand meal!” I excitedly lead him to the table “ta-da! a four course meal in the candlelight!”

“Four courses?! Oh you missed me, missed me” he was shocked by the amount of thought I put into his welcome. As we ate, he told me of his time in Sendai and the other heroes that were called upon “...and I really hope that family is safe. Also do you think this trip will boost me up the ranking?”

“I talked to Tensei about that actually the other day” I said as I was walking back with dessert “he said that it will if you make it onto the media, like if they name you. Otherwise it won’t.”

He watches me set down dessert “Berry tart! Oh what splendid memories just flooded back” he cracked a big dumb smile as I served him a slice “remember when we went to that cafe at the end of 1st year and I was too shy to sit that close to you?” he took a bite “and as usual, everything you make is delicious! Oh man if only I told you that day I had feelings for you, it was a perfect winter day spent with you.”

“Oh stop! You had your chances, even on the bad days!” I playfully hit his arm “but I would’ve probably started to cry right there on the town plaza if you confessed” I suddenly remembered my big piece of news “Oh! I almost forgot, this invitation came in the mail earlier in the week” I levitated a yellow envelope with ‘Iida Household’ on the front of it in nice handwriting “I wanted to wait for you to come back to open it, since it’s addressed to both of us.”

He opens the envelope “It looks like a... birthday invitation?” he furrowed his brow and thought for a moment “who’s birthday is coming up? I can’t recall anyone’s except yours.” He opens the card and reads aloud:

Dear Iida household,

Hello! I’d like to invite you to my birthday! You see, it’s my very first one and I’m very excited to see you attend. You don’t know me but I’d like to get aquatinted with the both of you. There’s not much about me but my birthday is on July 28th, I’m a Leo. It’s a long way from now but I wanted to let you know because I know how busy being a Hero and a CEO must be. Anyways, I hope to see you then!

Yours Truly,

p.s. It just occurred to me that I don’t have a name yet, maybe you can help me with that and that’ll be your present to me!

“Huh, a person with no name?” he reread the invitation “and no address to said birthday” he turned to me “did the couple a few rows in front of us have a child that I wasn’t aware of?”

I stifle my laugh “Nope, read the invite again” I point to the p.s. part “see how they’re asking you for a name for a present?”

“I see that but what an odd request” he chopped, missing the point “wouldn’t it be customary to give a gift for a growing child? It’s their first birthday!” he sees me hold in my laugh “DON’T LAUGH! Tell me what am I not getting, you’re the riddle and puzzles expert.”

“Tenya, what did I serve you in this 4 course meal?”

“Baby quiche, side salad of baby greens with snow peas, steak with baby carrots and baby corn” he pointed at the tart “ and berry tart...but I don’t see how the meal relates to this mysterious invitation?”

“Oh goodness you’re hopeless” I laugh as I stand up “think long and hard Tenya, lots of baby named food, invite to a birthday 6 and a half months away, person that wants a name as a present and that we don’t know.”

He spends a good 5 minutes of mumbling to himself, trying to make sense of all the clues I pulled for him “I’m afraid I can’t crack this case” he checks the envelop for anything he could’ve missed “what did you piece from this?”

I couldn’t contain my laughter, I was tearing up laughing “Welp, I guess I’ll tell ya” I grab his hand and put it on my stomach “welcome home....daddy.”

He didn’t get it at first then it all clicked “Ita...your pregnant?!” he fell to his knees and put both hands on my stomach “oh my- I’m such an idiot!” he put his forehead on my stomach “why did you marry me, I can’t figure out something that’s so blatantly written out for me!”

“Silly, it doesn’t matter now” I put my hand on his head “we’re going to be parents! Isn’t that exciting that we’re building that future we thought we’d never get to?”

“Yes, I’m so excited to see the life you’re growing” he looked up at me, tears in his eyes “I said you could start your happy family with me, now it’s all coming together.” he kisses my stomach “you hear that? I can’t wait to meet you!”

I go through pregnancy once again but this time I took maternity leave at both jobs right at the 5th month of my pregnancy. I mainly did it to avoid publicity and cameras, so I can do my thing in peace. Surprisingly, I was the first one in my company to go on leave and it made me want to rewrite the leave so you’d get 8 months off instead of 5. So on said leave, I did the rewrite and had Beizu do all that paperwork and update everyone. He hated me for it but at least I wasn’t in the office overworking myself while heavily pregnant. We didn’t want a baby shower, mainly because we were already well off and it seemed like theft if we made our friends come and give us baby stuff. I ordered the baby stuff online for in-store pick up and uncle Jin and aunty Mimi would go get it for me. They were very excited to be an uncle and aunt to the point of jumping ahead to how my baby will interact and love them. My parents and in-laws were super pleased with the fact that we were pregnant. The In-laws announced it to the rest of the family and they all cheered that the family name will stay nice and strong. We decided to just have the crib and other baby stuff in our bedroom so we don’t have to have a baby monitor and have our baby within reach. It was nearly go time when Tenya got leave and I was in that nesting mode.

“We have to set up the bottle warming station!” I said franticly setting up the small machine “I’m going to pumping so much it’s not even funny! OH! can you-”

“Relax Ita, please!” Tenya begged “you’ve been up since 6am and hardly sat down” he rubbed her shoulders “why don’t you let me set this up while you take a nap nap on the couch? I’ll have a snack waiting for you when you wake up.”

“Alright, if it will make you feel better” I lean into his hands “then I’ll take a break.” I lay down and the baby started moving like crazy, not letting me sleep. 

“Oh you woke up?” Tenya asked as he saw me quickly sit up after an hour.

“Not to cause alarm” I slowly turn to where Tenya was and calmly spoke “but my water broke....deadass.”

Now Tenya was in panic as I calmly called Mimi and Jin that it was time. As we got in the car, I called my parents that I was on my way to the hospital to give birth. I can’t go to a regular hospital, so I have to go to a government protected one that’s an hour away from the gated community. Lucky me that Jin can portal us there in an instant. I was in labor for a while and gave natural birth to our first child. I didn’t need to go into stasis nor get stitched up, so I got see my baby for those crucial first few days. We got home just before the first summer storm.

“Oh wow look at you!” I cooed at my baby “you’re not scared of the rain or any of those big scary noises huh?”

“Is that normal?” asked Tenya, still trying to figure out how babies work.

“Not sure, but my mom said I was a very quiet and unfussy baby” I yawned “so maybe they got it from me.”

“Come on, both of you take a nap!” he coaxed the new mom to the couch “I’ll hold you both in my arms.”

“You’re too much” I yawned as I nestled myself in his arms with the baby in mine “but I love you.”

Tenya took in his surroundings, the house was quiet and the rain was coming down hard with some thunder in the far distance. He looked down to see the baby looking back up at him, the same way Ita would look at him when he’d hold her. “Can’t sleep? What is it?” he asked the newborn “this is your home, we’re going spend every waking moment here with you. Doesn’t that sound nice?” the newborn freed one of their hands from the blanket to extend out “Oh my sweet, little girl” he kissed their hand “I can’t wait to see the person you’ll become in our hectic and wonderful world.”

About a month later, we invited our friends to meet our baby. Literally, Tenya wanted a ‘meet our baby’ party instead of a birthday party because he REALLY wanted to show off our baby. I don’t blame him, we made a cute baby.

“What a cutie! Awww” Midnight squealed “what did you end up naming her?”

“Lili Perla” I responded with the baby in my arms “like the flower. Would you like to hold her?”

“I would!” she cradled the baby gently “Hello!~ It’s your aunty Midnight! I can’t wait to see you grow up into a little turbo kid like daddy. Or curly haired rebel like mommy.”

“Nemuri, isn’t my niece the cutest baby?!” cried out Tensei “I can tell she’ll have most of the Iida strong traits!”

“That terrifies me” I split my gaze between the two brothers “I can’t deal with yo rectangular like, fucked up brows havin asses! My baby is gonna be the prettiest little thing with all my family’s beauty traits.”

“I hope she’s outspoken like you” Midnight hands me back the baby “we need more Itas in this world.”

“Oh look it’s Lili-chan!” cooed Ochako with her son in her arms “say hi Maru! She’s going to be your friend and play with you when she gets big enough.”

“Don’t be shy Maru” coaxed Midoriya “the Iida’s are our friends and Lili will be a very loyal friend just like their mom and dad.”

We watched the little boy wave and Lili waving back “Oh she’s picking up fast!” exclaimed Midnight “that’s peculiar.”

“Right?! She already knows basic things like greetings, waving, attention grabbing and flails her arms to music” I giggle a bit “like, she can’t talk but she gives a little yell when Tenya comes home and a long yell when she needs something. She doesn’t cry for anything!”

“Hey guys, I heard baby talk and had to see the little lady” Mineta said as he walked up to me “may I hold her?”

“Sure, make sure you support her head.”

“Hi there! I’m your cool uncle Minoru” he cooed at the baby “one day I’ll give you a cousin to play with.”

The baby didn’t bide well with the grape man and started crying “Oh no! She hates you” Todoroki said flatly “here, let me.” He held the baby and she instantly stopped crying “See? She doesn’t mind me.”

I started laughing “Oh fuck she’s learning a little too fast!” I saw that Shoto brought Touya with him “Hi Touya, surprised to see you here.”

“Yea, I had to see for myself that you had a baby” he said as he peered over Shoto’s shoulder to see the baby “what a cute little squish” Shoto hands him the baby “you don’t know me but your mommy saved me from some baddies and brought me to my family, don’t you grow up and give your mother trouble!” He turns to me “she isn’t afraid of me.”

“Seems like she isn’t afraid of anything yet” Touya hands me the baby “I’m sure it’s just a curiosity phase and she’ll be crying more as she gets older.”

“May I hold her?” Tokoyami asked me “lets see if she will cry with me.” I hand her over and she smiled as her hands touched his beak “nope, she’s like her mother, curious and giggly” he nuzzles her and Dark Shadow comes out to see the baby. Lili sees it and starts to grunt to touch it “You want Dark Shadow? Um, okay.” 

“I don’t believe it” Shinso smirked “you two managed to make the ideal baby in one try” Tokoyami hands Shinso the baby “oh the things you’ll get to experience with your mother, lucky you” Lili tugs on his shirt “what is it? You like the satin shirt?” Lili grunts in response “Ita what are you feeding this child to have them this...smart?”

“I’m just breastfeeding her I swear!” I look to Tenya “we have no idea if her level of response is because of a quirk or it’s her own level of intelligence and we’re just doing a good job at stimulating her enough.”

Seeing her grow up into little Miss Independent was quite the journey for a new parent. She was walking at 11 months old and running a few weeks after her 1st birthday, causing a lot of mischief. At 1 and 4 months she was talking in English and Japanese, small phrases like ‘howdy’ ‘mom’ ‘dad’ ‘doggy’ ‘hot’ and ‘not nice’. Her first word was doggy because Muffin 2.0 had to switch roles from security to nanny when she’d run around the house. When she turned two, her quirk grew in, smaller rocket-like engines on her feet! The amount of joy the Iida family got from hearing about this brought them to tears that the legacy will live on. My family was impressed that it wasn’t telekinesis and was excited to see another random quirk in our gene pool. But it didn’t stop there, when she got a little runny nose and blew her nose, her clothes instantly turned to threads! She had a second quirk, Master Thread! Tenya and I were so happy that she was blessed with two separate quirks that we helped her in anyway possible to develop her skills better at home. She really liked dancing and all the pretty costumes, so I put her in private lessons and fell in love with it. We didn’t stop at her though, we had another baby after Lili’s 3rd birthday, a baby boy named Iwata El Roca. And 4 years after him, twins! A boy and girl named Hanaka Rosa and Tensei Oro...can you tell who named who? It was a full house come Christmas time of six people and a robo dog. Everyone was tired and sprawled about on the couch, Lili was holding Hanaka on the far side, Ita was holding Iwata as she leaned on Tenya’s shoulder. Tenya was cradling baby Tensei and everyone was asleep after a grand meal and watching a holiday movie, except for Tenya. He took in his surroundings and sighed. He was in a new home, the house was quiet with just the sounds of his family breathing, snow was falling outside, everyone was safe and warm. How weird that everything fell into place when he fell in love with one person, now he shares his love in 5 different people that show it back.

“Hnn, Tenya” Ita drowsily spoke “we have to put the kids to bed.”

“Just 5 more minutes, please love.” He softly responded “When will we ever have them this little and peaceful again?”

“Fine, 5 more minutes” she pulled her son closer to her chest “I love you.”

“I love you more” he kissed her forehead.

-Book 1 End-

<Previous - FAQ - Chapter 1                 

[b-sidemusic]

EAST ANGLIAN GIG LISTINGS: 7TH-21ST DECEMBER 2017

Every Thursday, we huzz a whole heap of high-voltage high-jinks heavenwards and let the seeds of rock settle where they may.  To submit your own news and listings, click here!

Thursday 7th Burston, Crown Jess Morgan & Kitty MacFarlane Free entry - 8.30pm - Event page Cambridge, Corn Exchange The Overtones £25.25-£101.75 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Junction J1 Dr Feelgood & Eddie and the Hot Rods £20.50 - 7pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Jazz Jam Free entry- 9pm - Event page Norwich, LCR Frank Carter and the Rattlesnakes £18.15 - 7.30pm - Tickets Norwich, Waterfront Peter Hook and the Light £24.75 - 7.30pm - Tickets Norwich, Waterfront Studio Saves, Clown Smash Everything, Sucking Grunts & Rats Packing Grenades £6.60 - 7.30pm - Tickets Stowmarket, John Peel Centre The Wedding Present Sold out - 7.30pm - Tickets Friday 8th Cambridge, Blue Moon Synthetic & Alter the Sky Free entry - 8pm - Event page Colchester, Bull The Beagles Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Soundhouse Faith in Physics Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys Yr Poetry, The Hemingways, Rubber Jaw & Lawrence and Cow £4 - 7pm - Event page Ipswich, Smokehouse Nervous Twitch, Umbrella Assassins & The Naked French £4 - 7.30pm - Event page Ipswich Swan Figure of Six, Ghost Season & Next Time Mr Fox Free entry - 8pm - Event page Norwich, LCR Sub Focus, MC-ID & more £19.25 - 10pm - Tickets Norwich, Open |Mungo’s Hi Fi, Gentleman’s Dub Club, The Skints, Aries Dubwize & more £10-£15 - 9pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary Suburban Tide, Bad Apples & Skinny Milk £3 - 7pm - Tickets Norwich, Waterfront Studio Eddie and the Hot Rods & Department S £19.25 - 6.30pm - Tickets Southend, Chinnerys Rhoda Dakar £11-£13.75 - 7pm - Tickets Southend, Cliffs Pavilion The Overtones £26-£102.50 - 7pm - Tickets Saturday 9th Bury St Edmunds, Apex The Fillers £13 - 7pm - Tickets Bury St Edmunds, Oakes Barn The Hoo Ha Record Club PWYC - 8pm - Event page Colchester, Arts Centre The Blockheads & The 1957 Tail Fin Fiasco Sold out - 7.30pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Hedgehog Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Soundhouse Phil Hilborne Band £7 - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys Rony Rosado Free entry - 6pm - Event page Southend, Chinnerys Skamite £11.50 - 7.30pm - Tickets Southend, Palace Theatre Roy Wood and His Band £29-£33 - 8pm - Tickets Sunday 10th Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk Academy The Great Barrow Christmas Free entry - 10am - Event page Cambridge, Portland Arms Jordan Allen, The Lost Volts & Gaffa Tape Sandy £6.60 - 6pm - Tickets Ipswich, Smokehouse Kevin Pearce £11 - 8pm - Event page Norwich, Waterfront Slade & Kassettika £25.85 - 7pm - Tickets Monday 11th Bury St Edmunds, Apex Schubert Ensemble £5-£20 - 7.30pm - Tickets Colchester, Arts Centre Vicki Swan and Jonny Dyer £11 - 7.45pm - Tickets Norwich, LCR Shed Seven Sold out - 7.30pm - Tickets Norwich, Waterfront Studio Jordan Allen, New Scientists, Seven Cities & Gameplan £6.60 - 7.30pm - Tickets Southend, Palace Theatre Blake £20-£26 - 7.30pm - Tickets Tuesday 12th Mildenhall, Jollyplex Seriously Catherine Come To Our House, We’ll Have Drag Race and Hooch & It Will Be Great Free entry - 6pm - Event page Norwich, Waterfront Studio Willie J Healey, The Meeks & Gladboy £7.70 - 7.30pm - Tickets Wednesday 13th Bury St Edmunds, Apex Steeleye Span £24 - 7.30pm - Tickets Bury St Edmunds, Hunter Club Open Mic Free entry - 8pm - Event page Cambridge, Emmanuel United Reformed Church A Winter Union £19 - 8pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms Wooden Arms £6.60 - 7pm - Tickets Ipswich, Swan Wednesday Warriors Free entry - 8pm - Event page Norwich, Waterfront Studio Dirty Thrills, Renegade 12, Blue Nation & Sittin Pretty £11 - 7.30pm - Tickets Thursday 14th Burston, Crown Catflap Dilemma Free entry - 8.30pm - Event page Cambridge, Blue Moon Dean McPhee, Sam McLoughlin and David Chatton Baker & Rachel Watkins £6 - 8pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys Craig Garrod, Jakob Deist, Mark Halls, Sam Ryder & Carousel Free entry - 6pm - Event page Norwich, Open Wooden Arms £8 - 7pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary 24 Robbers, Blood Like Honey & Metanoia PWYC - 7pm - Tickets Friday 15th Cambridge, Junction J1 The Fiver: Searching Grey, The Extons, Tom Lumley, Deep City & Anthony Rubery £6 - 6.45pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms Moth Conspiracy, The Seven Twenty & The Pawn Hearts £5 - 8pm - Tickets Colchester, Arts Centre Eliza Carthy and the Wayward Band & Duotone £20 - 7.30pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Grounds For Divorce Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys SuperGlu, Impala, Piers James, Dilute to Taste, Shiners & Shooty and the Bang Bang £5 - 6pm - Event page Ipswich, Smokehouse Pessimist, Counties, Prey Drive, In and Out of Sleep & Excuses £3 - 7.30pm - Tickets Ipswich, Steamboat Open Mic Free entry - 8.30pm - Event page Norwich, Arts Centre Father Funk, DJ Yes, Gypsy Swing & Daniel Tuffs £10 - 9pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary King Kiwanda Free entry - 7pm - Event page Norwich, Waterfront Studio UK Subs £17.60 - 6.30pm - Tickets Woodbridge, Angel Aartwork Free entry - 9pm - Event page Saturday 16th Cambridge, Blue Moon Shake Your Turkey Feather Free entry - 8pm - Event page Cambridge, Corn Exchange Glenn Miller Orchestra £17.25-£34.75 - 2.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Corn Exchange White Christmas £26.75-£40.75 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Junction J1 Ezio £15.50 - 7pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms Iron Fist £10 - 8pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Stone Shuffle Jones Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys Ghosts of Men, Rad Pitt, Surge, Mandeville, Stealing Signs, Mystery Act & The Baskervilles £5 - 6pm - Event page Ipswich, Smokehouse Radio Orwell, Sun Scream, Hillmisters & Jack Rundell £5 - 7.30pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary Dub Conductor & Dub, Sweat and Beers £5 - 9.30pm - Tickets Sunday 17th Bury St Edmunds, Oakes Barn Chris Mass: Beast With a Gun, Thy Last Drop,  Bury Boy All Stars, Santa’s One Man Band £5 - 7pm - Event page Cambridge, Portland Arms The Archive £5 - 7pm - Tickets Colchester, Arts Centre Jason Frederick Cinematic Trio £14 - 7pm - Tickets Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys The Gavin Bowern Band, Laura Wyatt & Lianne Kaye Free entry - 6pm - Event page Norwich, Owl Sanctuary Ducking Punches, March & Chapter Of Wolves £6 - 7pm - Tickets Norwich, Waterfront Studio Santa Cruz & Skarlett Riot £13.20 - 7pm - Tickets Monday 18th Bury St Edmunds, Apex Jazz at the Movies £16 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Corn Exchange UB40 & Maxi Jazz and the E-Type Boys £40.25-£75 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms The Treatment £15 - 8pm - Tickets Colchester, Arts Centre The Churchfitters £11 - 7.45pm - Tickets Norwich, Arts Centre Richard Dawson £15 - 8pm - Tickets Tuesday 19th Bury St Edmunds, Apex Roy Wood Rock and Roll Band £27.50-£29.50 - 8pm - Tickets Cambridge, Corn Exchange Fish £30.25 - 7.30pm - Tickets Norwich, Arts Centre Moulettes, Bessie Turner & Raevennan Husbandes £13.50 - 8pm - Tickets Wednesday 20th Bury St Edmunds, Apex Only Men Aloud & Natasha Cook Jenkins £25 - 7.30pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms John Fairhurst £10 - 8pm - Tickets Ipswich, Swan Wednesday Warriors Free entry - 8pm - Event page Norwich, Arts Centre The Vagaband, Murphy’s Lore & The Arlenes £12 - 8pm - Tickets Thursday 21st Burston, Crown Buskers Revisited Free entry - 8pm - Event page Bury St Edmunds, Apex Eliza Carthy and the Wayward Band £20 - 8pm - Tickets Cambridge, Portland Arms The Junkoactive Wasteman and His Tinphonia, 2late & Acid Tea £5 - 7.45pm - Tickets Colchester, Bull Jazz Jam Christmas Special Free entry - 9pm - Event page Colchester, Three Wise Monkeys Wooden Maiden Contact venue for details Ipswich, Swan Blues Jam Free entry - 9pm - Event page Norwich, Arts Centre The Vagaband & Shackleton Trio £12 - 8pm - Tickets Norwich, Owl Sanctuary Wayward Natives Free entry - 7pm - Tickets Norwich, Waterfront Mostly Autumn £16.50 - 7.30pm - Tickets

Photo: Rhoda Dakar (playing Southend Chinnerys, 8th December) by Drew Kirkland Listings Editor: Kate Quigley