#and it was a super fun movie til the bad guy showed a bunch of scars from cutting and said that he made them himself

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

1/69

The Guest List by Lucy Foley

format: audiobook

6.5⭐/10⭐

(more detailed review under the cut.)

Entertaining enough, though i probably won't think much about it again (or if, certainly not in the way the author hoped sigh). I needed a bit to get into it at first (though to be fair the pieces have to be set before the action can begin), but especially the end was very juicy so good job there. Overall easy to read, though sometimes Foley's attempts at jump-scares were more comical than anything.

This is the book that showed me how hard it is to skim/skip scenes in audio format as it started playing an unexpected sex scene in the middle of a flight. RIP to me. It also features an (equally if not more unexpected) explicit cutting scene. Meaning I was subjected to self-harm without warning in the media I consumed on the flight THERE *AND* the flight BACK. Three cheers to me ig. What do people have against trigger warnings is2g ;-;

(also. under the *cut* lol. I'm so funny)

[thestray]

Movies I watched Feb 8 - Feb 14

So I’m still on a huge kung-fu kick (pun intended) since I was working on a spreadsheet of 100 martial arts movies, which I’ll be posting soon. So all but 2 of the movies I watched this week contained martial arts.

Movies I watched this week behind the cut.

The Prodigal Son

Big fan of Yuen Biao and Sammo Hung and I’ve been meaning to watch this for a long time but just haven’t seen it available anywhere til now, found it on a free streaming channel called TCL on my Roku tv, so I watched it and loved it. My favorite part of this movie is the guy that plays his master Lam Ching-ying, he’s one of those guys that’s ubiquitous in Hong Kong movies but typically in a supporting role. I really thought his performance was really good for what could’ve been (and usually is) a caricature, a lot of the other cares ARE caricatures, intentionally, but Lam Ching-ying plays an effeminate opera troupe leader but he’s nuanced rather than over the top about it. Warning that he is called some homophobic slurs within the movie. Fun movie, great choreography, and a good satisfying story too, will definitely purchase a hard copy of this one.

Martial Arts Master Wong Fei Hung

Found this while looking for more movies featuring Lam Ching-ying, he plays the bad guy in this, a Japanese swordsman bent on defeating dojo masters to prove he’s the best. Chin Ka-lok plays the hero, Wong Fei Hung, who is a Chinese folk hero that has been played by every major Hong Kong action star; Jackie, Jet Li, Donnie Yen, Sammo, Gordon Liu, and so many others. I didn’t know this before but this, Drunken Master, Once Upon a Time in China, Iron Monkey, Rise of the Legend and so many other films are fictionalized stories about Wong Fei Hung in different stages of his life. An interesting thing I’m finding about Chinese culture through film is they treat historical figures really no differently than we treat superheroes. Wong Fei Hung, Ip Man, Huo Yuanjia (portrayed by Jet Li in Fearless among others), and it’s kinda cool and beautiful that after these people have long passed on they have become these epic larger than life characters. Anyway, the movie is cool, has really fun choreography. It kinda ends abruptly, but that’s because it touches on elements of his life that are later explored in other films. Cool movie.

Unlucky Stars

This stars and is directed by Dennis Ruel, on the left, its an independent martial arts film that is on youtube for free, definitely recommend it. The title and the whole film is an homage to 80′s Hong Kong cinema; there’s a “lucky stars” series of films that star Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao and others. If you’re bout that life you’ll catch references, if you’re not it’s still a fun little beat em up. It’s not going to blow you away with it’s cinematography, story or acting, but I thought it was really good for a low budget affair of essentially a bunch of stunt performers getting together to make a movie together. Had some good laughs, fights and stunts are great, I hope these guys get an opportunity to keep doing bigger and better stuff.

Undisputed 2

I’ve known about the Undisputed films for a long time and was never too in a rush to watch them, decided to rent the movies on Prime and was not disappointed. When you watch a lot of East Asian action films the choreography in American films, especially straight to video stuff like this, can seem a little slow and boring, but that wasn’t the case with this at all. The fights are fun, the characters are fun, and Scott Adkins kills it. Oh, and by the way Undisputed 1 features Ving Rhames, and I don’t remember else, I saw it eons ago, I don’t think it has any connection to these films other than the concept of fighting in prison.

Undisputed 3

It was such a smart move to turn the franchise’s focus to the villain of the previous film. Boyka has a real Vegeta story arc in these movies, and his super athletic style is just fun to watch. The highlight of this movie to me is when he faces off against a capoeira expert and they’re both just flipping around during the fight. I think this movie is my favorite of the Undisputed series, it has a satisfying end.

Triad Wars

This is a mob movie with Sammo as the boss and Wu-Jing, pictured above as his enforcer. It’s more of a crime movie than an action movie, but the action scenes are crazy, it’s like if you’re watching the Departed than all of a sudden someone starts flipping around and cutting off everybody’s arms. There are some brutal kills in this. I honestly don’t know if I was following the story that well, the weird thing about movies where different crime factions go to war is it’s like... these people are all evil, and we watch them do fucked up shit, and they all have the same motivation; money, so it’s like I’m not really emotionally invested in what happens, I’m just here to enjoy a guy in all white landing on top of  car and then proceeding to kill everyone with a sword.

Fighter in the Wind

I had been looking for this movie for a while but forgot what it was called, and it’s hard to search for martial arts movies because what are you going to search “the movie where a guy fights a lot of people”? Anyway I finally found it and it’s a cool movie, another film that’s based on a true historical figure, I don’t know how faithful this movie is but it was enjoyable. This coward who is always being humiliated in fights decides to train himself to become stronger and then challenges every dojo owner in Japan to a fight. It’s a karate movie, so the choreography is not as flash as kung-fu films, and he essentially wins his fights not because he has better technique but because he can take more punishment and hit harder. SIde note: THe lead actor looks so much like Stephen Chow it was distracting.

Judas and the Black Messiah

The hype is real. This was a good ass movie. The performances are all perfect. I knew that Fred Hampton was assassinated, but to see the whole story and how it went down and to get to know him really gave you the full impact of just how fucked up it was on so many levels. 

Undisputed 4

Back to Undisputed! Boyka’s back baby! Cool movie, and furthers his character development. I still think I like the previous movie a little better but this was fun too.

Brigsby Bear

Kyle Mooney is the current best member of SNL, he wrote this film and it’s funny and weird and endearing. I guess after watching people fight in prison, the true story of a black radical being assassinated by the government, and countless people dismembered and impaled, I wanted to watch something a little more lighthearted and fun. Kyle Mooney is an awkward manchild who wants to recreate a show he grew up with. I don’t want to say anymore than that, but I enjoyed it.

A Kid From Tibet

Yuen Biao with some Golden Child style mystical action adventure. It’s not mind-blowing in terms of action, but I liked this, it has some precursor to Naruto type stuff in it, doing hand jutsus to initiate powers and stuff like that. My favorite thing about the movie is the main henchwoman played by Nina Li Chi, who I’m not retroactively deciding is one of 80′s crushes. I actually went ahead and bought this on DVD just because it’s such an obscure movie I wanted to have it my physical collection.

Nina Li Chi 

That’s all for this week!

[riotatthemovies]

Riot talks with Chris LaMartina

Chris LaMartina is most known for the Vhs freak and Halloween geeks dream flick WNUF Halloween Special.  He is truly a super fan of low budget American backyard horror movies as can easily be seen in all his projects via style and humor. Such films as Call Girl of Cthulhu and his imdb unlisted shot on video slasher he mad as a kid Amerikill. Chris took some time out of editing and crafting new projects and answering questions on the now online conventions to talk to us.

1. Sov horror is REreleasing some of your older works. Amerikill and Dead Teenagers. Now I have seen and own Amerikill and the slasher of that movie is basically killing kids many of which are less than teenagers. So tell me what Dead Taanagers is about, more than just the same thing but killing older kids?

Chris:  "Dead Teenagers" was first, VERY DIY, attempt at making a feature. At 18, I knew I didn't have the attention span or stamina to make a full fledged feature so I tried my hand at an anthology. "Dead Teenagers" is basically a micro-budget ($300 actually) version of "Creepshow"... so goofy little cheap segments about vampires, werewolves, and things that go bump in the night with bare bones resources that would make the Pope weep. 

Riot: 2. What's your all time favorite no budget possibly Shot on video horror movie and what makes it stand out to you?

Chris: I love the JR Bookwalter stuff and I kinda adore "Polymorph" the most. Outside of that, I really think "Redneck Zombies" is fun start-to-finish plus Perciles Lewnes is the NICEST dude. Eric Stanze's "Savage Harvest" was probably one of the ones that inspired me most to start getting serious about making stuff on my own.

RIOT:3. You are arguably most noted for the WNUF Halloween special. Obviously a love note to 70s and 80s American local television from the drugstore era of halloween as I like to call it, (The time when all your Halloween supplies could be bought just from your local drugstore, taffy candy and Ben cooper costumes) but I've always been curious how much the British tv special GhostWatch inspired you if at all? I love double billing both movies back to back before Halloween. 

Chris: . Dude. I get this a BUNCH and I didn't see Ghostwatch til years after WNUF was released and people KEPT comparing us to it. But... to be honest, I watched about 20 minutes before I got bored. It's not a bad movie, it's just not what I was expecting. Very serious, and as you can tell by WNUF, that's not really my bag. I can see why people compare us, though... but to be honest, there's a LOT of horror movies/novels/comics about a reporter doing a report from inside a haunted house. One of the genius stories for WNUF was hearing an old Baltimore story about how an oldies station did a live radio show/seance from the Edgar Allen Poe house and picked up some strange recordings. 

Riot: I totally get it , I just grew up in England when GhostWatch aired first unknowing of the gimmick, so imagining that experience though. Also once the gimmick is done yeah it is kinda dry so I agree, if you cant scare em completely, make em smile 4. Before the world went all topsy turvy this year you were crowdfunding for a sequel. How did that go and where does the project stand? Sov Horror is promoting a project where they are asking filmmakers to send in fake commercials for their film, I smell a mini cross over connection that is begging to happen there.

Chris: So, because of Covid, we lost about 15 days at the most CRUCIAL time of production... all the days with extras and big set-pieces were basically thrown out the window. We've still been doing a bunch of post on footage we have shot and are managing to do some "social distancing" shoots where I set-up lights, mic, and actors arrive in costume, hit their marks, and say their dialogue. It's weird, man... but it's how we have to do it. It's definitely not how imagined making this movie, but such is life. As for SOV Horror connection, nah. I love Tony and what he's doing is really cool... but I'm way too busy with WNUF, work, and other creative projects to toss anything their way right now. Riot :5. Keeping busy is key right now. How's the pandemic world treating you in general, if it caused you to stall on projects and life in general slow down. Luckily I find for no budget backyard film makers it's been seeing some real inspiration and online sales lately so I hope something good is coming for you. Anything to report on "What Happens Next will Scare you?"

Chris: The best part of the pandemic for me is finishing "What Happens Next Will Scare You" which will be totally COMPLETE by end of August (literally just doing the title sequence now). It took forever, but finally the guy who was doing all our screen composites had no excuse not to finish when he was trapped inside his house for months. ;p So yeah... that'll be available somehow in the next few months.

Riot: Thats great news

6.Whats your favorite things about low budget filmmaking and what are the things that get under your skin so much that makes you doubt yourself sometimes? I'm sure any of the self produced folks can relate.

Chris:  I love how accessible it is (cameras and software are CHEAP now). I also love how much imagination you can inject into a project with the right levels of ambition and enthusiasm. When you're too afraid to fail, that's the best. As I got older and made more movies, you have the pressure of expectations... which actually ruins a lot of the fun, but I'm still trying to best to make cool, weird shit that *I* would love and hope there's legions of creeps like me that will welcome these bizarre pieces of storytelling into their homes. As for what gets under my skin... hmmm... I've always distrusted folks who care more about gear and budgets than story. That's way bogus. Furthermore, I think fan culture has gotten a little toxic over the best decade and tape trading has gotten stupid expensive / unfunny. But fuck those dudes. They won't stop me from having a good time and making weird shit. ;p Riot: I love my cheesy vhs tapes but you are so right the tape trader community takes things way too seriously , I just cant anymore myself. 

Thanks for joining us for 6 silly questions with Riot (that's me) and may this Halloween be epic and future projects be awesome.

Chris:  Thank YOU, dude! It was great talking with ya and hit me up anytime. xoxo

Behind the Scenes of Call Girl of Cthulhu

[fandomplethora]

(ummm, i’m not sure what inspired to make this post (besides the fact that i have been listening to this artist on a near constant basis now) but here we go anyways;;;)

MYSTIC MESSENGER CHARACTERS AS HOBO JOHNSON SONGS

Hyun (Zen) - 3% 

“you should go and quit your job and make all of those dreams come true. how is your self esteem? huh? that's important in what you're about to do. don't talk to your friends, their opinions hold so much weight. and that doesn't make sense. even your family, parents just don't understand. make the time. drop school, and people, and work to play music all night. you'll make a dollar an hour, at least you'll like your life. and roll with the punches even when it feels like you're getting fucking jumped but you're a real bad judge of it. hold on tight, boy. might be a fuckin', hell of a ride. but, but, but, they said it's a three-percent chance...that I'm gonna make it. that's a little bit less than what it is in my mind but it's ok, I think I can take it. they said it's a three-percent, my friends, that's what they said. and then I sat there and thought about it and almost believed it for a sec. but I think that they'll love me.”

Yoosung - Mario and Link

“mario's never getting some and link's never getting some, so why would princesses love me? i'm not really making moves, I'm just kinda breathing. i work at fucking pizza places just so I keep eating. (that's the type of shit)...thats the type of shit to make be buy a flask for 25 and fill it up with takka vodka only 4.99...yester-year yes-sir-please let me get the recipe, to not being broke. fuck I'd really love to be a king, but mario and link should've showed that perseverance is not the end all to everything. the princess in the hallway with a robe, I asked "do you for coffee and scones and she says "no!". but I just killed a fucking dragon though! with this sword that I made from the words of my soul. I just killed a fucking dragon though, I just killed a fucking dragon though. but its whatever I don't even care that much.”

Jaehee - Peach Scone

“...disregard every time I call you pretty. though it's meant sincerely it's just my imagination drifting...so I fall to ground, collect myself and get ready to take over your heart...or at least your spare time. and I love the thought of being with you. or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone. the second one's way sadder than the first one...we should go get a cup of coffee...I don't know what to tell you if I try to confess my love for- scones! i just wanna tell you real quick please, shh, I love- these scones! ...but she, you know, she is just so sweet and she cared about me a lot when no one else cared about me and I think that's really nice. really you know, she's just a, she's just a peach. she's a peach scone. and I love the thought of being with her, I just really hope that she doesn't get hurt.”

Jumin - Father

“my dad taught me 'bout the story 'bout the birds and the bees. when the bees turn into wasps and take half of everything. he sounded sure, that a bird doesn't need a full nest but a bed for our bird heads to rest...he told me son, beware, of the monsters that roam the depths of your head. sometimes they'll make you real sad or or real real mad, or real real jealous and that's real real bad. boy, breathe...my father's married to a shape shifting monster who can sometimes take the form of a really really really nice woman. and although it seems super fucking frightening, sometimes this scary monster makes a really really great vanilla pudding. he has courage but sometimes your courage isn't quite the kryptonite as the monster runs rampant through the house. sometimes your courage makes you feel strong but it seems as if the monster eats your muscles all along, fucking pickin' out your self-respect right out its scary teeth. her breath smells like pride of self and other men she used to meet. and the monster doesn't sleep - just schemes and fiends on the next tasty meal it gets to eat, it gets to eat.” 

Saeyoung (Luciel) (707) (Seven) - The Ending

“she said, "you're like the weird...guy...in all the movies, who turns into the hero at the end and gets the girl" and I was like, "shut your mouth". but I'm gonna take over...the world as soon as everybody dies. i'm gonna take over your heart as soon as I get the balls to try. Ima re-arrange the alphabet and then take "U" and "I" and put a bit of space between 'em and hope that nobody cries. ...Ima be a nice guy might fuck around, it make a difference. Ima hope for the best, but prepare for the worst...I hope that you don't fall into their schemes and what they say, when you look them in their eyes, that they don't choose to look away...I hope that you don't fall into my schemes or what I say. when you look me in the eye, I'll look you dead into the face 'cause you don't deserve to be fucked with unless you're a fucking asshole...yeah, I ain't shit I ain't shit compared to them, right? I ain't shit. and I know she wants a piece of this wit (no!) and I know she wants a piece of this wit. my wit, my wit, my wit...” 

Jihyun (V) - Romeo and Juliet

“we're just romeo & juliet but getting drunk and eating percocets. but just to ease the stress but soft what light, thru yonder window breaks it is the east - but juliet just puked off the balcony. how romantic. nothing like getting drunk and getting manic on a motherfucking monday, i brush the bangs behind her lovely little ear as she describes in detail how the end is truly near. wow, and I'm sure that we can do this for forever or until we drink the poison, 'cause she sees some cloudy weather. ...dear shakespeare, could you write a happy ending please? we just deserve a happy ending please, please. ...and every sting from every teardrop from every ring at every pawn shop. ...but dear mom, conversations from a couch haven't ever felt the same...my mom was made from adam's rib and the marriage went south...but dad loves to shout really loud. loud enough to knock the lamps and dressers to the ground. in my memory, i can hear chopin's nocturnes playing in the background, a slow trainwreck, you'll close your eyes, but forever hear the sound, and boy, it's tough. ‘cause that’s the sound of people falling out of love.” 

Saeran (Unknown) (Ray) - Jesus Christ

“jesus christ seems super nice, i wonder if he'd save me. i've been on the wrong side of a bunch of arguments lately. and jesus christ seems super nice, i wonder if he'd love me. how come I only wonder when I'm sad or really hungry? jesus christ, you're super nice but don't expect much from me. I would kneel down, but I'm afraid that I would just feel nothing. praise god and other things that don't make sense to puny minds, like ours, designing roller coasters that almost always seem to fall apart. ain't it fun, ain't it fun, ain't it fun knowing that. that one day, you know, I fly to the sky, to the sun? and jesus christ, you're super nice. so I'll write a song about it. or that no one ever knowing for always claiming they're about it. press "ignore" on both sides that always claim to know that they're so sure. or just not be a giant fucking prick and enjoy the show. I'll enjoy the show if I'm not a giant prick, does that just mean that I am saved? jesus christ, you're super nice, i'm sure that you could love me. even if I don't go to church every sunday. jesus christ, you're super nice, how could you let me burn? if I'm not murdering people, then smashing their fucking urn. but jesus christ, you're super nice, how could you let me burn? but if I go to hell, I'll grit my teeth and get to work.” 

? (Vanderwood) - Demarcus Cousins and Ashley *note: this one was more difficult because we are not shown much of vanderwood currently in the game though i do consider him a pivotal character - and one i want to get to know more as a player. we know vanderwood is a caring guy who can be rough around the edges - he’s also funny, awkward and, personally, charming. so, i look at this as him relating how he does care for those around him while comparing it to other shit he has seen. okay, analysis done. bye.

“I'm not a nice guy (he's not a nice guy). I go to jail sometimes (he goes to jail sometimes). but I am slowly getting better ever since a little lady wrote me such a lovely letter. I love breathing...I love drinking, but not enough to ever have to go to all those stupid meetings (let’s go)...I- I love you like the dog hates the leash and the leash loves the dog, like I love nothing else at all. love you like my dad loved my mom before they realized they don't love each other at all...I love you like bosses love to talk a lot of shit and like getting really mad when I quit, what? I love you like the bird hates november or just really really rainy windy weather. I love you like america loves to fuck things up and cops love to do things that are super unnecessary...and I love you like the stars love lonely eyes on seven consecutive friday nights.”

Mina (Rika) - Creve Coeur 1 

"hi," says the girl with the right eyes that pairs pretty well when she hits you with the soft smile. you can kinda tell that something's going on, but she's like a skrillex song that never drops, she'll never talk. she'll never talk about the feelings that she felt today. better kept inside of a fence, inside of a cage, inside of a safe. that's safe for her 'cause they just hurt. and she don't know why that god sauntered. I hope he's trying. she said, "I hope he's trying. do you think he's trying?" then I said, "I don't know" but I asked her, "what’s wrong?" she just nods her head. and then I asked her, "what's wrong?" and she said...hold me closely. I don't think you should love me. I always feel so lonely knowing that nothing will ever last forever. sorry, you're much too late, much too late. ("you are so late")...she holds her breath all day and fucking gasps for air at night. she promised she would love me but only 'til the morning time. sorry, you're, you're much too late. you're much too late, you're much too- sorry, you're much too late- much too..."

MC - ? (MC is more difficult...I almost can find lines from various songs but it came down to these two.)

#2 - Mover Awayer (and it’s mainly for this part only.)

“fear  the man who lives without love and  the lover who lives without fear. fear the man who always wants to fight, he's not a talker. fear  the talker who never wants to fight, he's got no guts. fear the man who knows he's gonna die so he cries every night and just denies his life's beauty. and  fear the man who has heaven in his plans, so he gets so complacent that he doesn't call his family. fear the man who doesn't understand that there's a million fish in the sea, but fear the girl who he really thinks is a different species, she'll rip your heart out. ...makes my Mondays feel like Fridays (give me a break)...makes my Ruby Tuesdays taste like Benihanas (give me a break) and all I've really wanted was for us to get along.”

#1 - Typical Story (I genuinely won’t even put the lyrics for this song because it is more about the theme and feel of the song itself - as MC is the only one “playing” and going through these character’s “stories”. Casual, Deep or Another. So, I will just recommend listening to it and reading the artist’s notes on it for why I picked it as number one for MC’s song.)

[xlovemusicalsx]

Hi!! I would love a ship for Be More Chill, Heathers, SIX and Mean Girls! I’m a super tall, bisexual, female who loves memes and musicals. I play soccer and i’m thinking of trying out for every sport next school year. I’m a HUGE fanfic addict and writes it as well, I enjoy to sing and play the ukelele, and just listen to music normally. My favorite genre is horror and I LOVE being scared. I’m in way too many fandoms to name. I really love your writing so far, and can’t wait to read more of it!!

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate that, you seem really cool

I ship you with Rich!

-He actually loves having a y’all gf

-He’s a shortie so sometimes he has to go on his tippy toes or gently grab your face to kiss you

-But he’s a sucker for a height difference ngl

-He loves referencing vines with you

-Sometimes the Squip Squad joins in when you do it during lunch

-You both are just meme lords and you’re so goofy

-He buys matching “Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!” goodies for you and loves wearing them together

-He also steals hoodies from you a lot

-And he takes you to horror movies thinking you’re gonna be scared and he’s gonna comfort you

-But he gets even more scared so you’re comforting each other (and squeezing the life out of each other’s hands)

-You guys go to pride events together and have a huge bi pride flag you share

-You guys are such absolute nerds together you’re actual goals

-He supports you in your decision to do a bunch of sports

-And he doesn’t miss a game, he just loves watching and cheering

-He makes signs for you in soccer because it’s your domain in sports

-You’re even the girls soccer captain and he’s so proud!!

-He begged Christine to teach him about some musicals to impress you and now he actually loves some

-He sings Dead Girl Walking with you all the time and it’s so fun

-He even cosplayed as JD and Veronica with you once!!

-He doesn’t quite understand your love of fanfic but he supports you 100%!!

-He even reads what you write for things he knows

-He loves your style and you’re his favorite author

-He’s a big sweetie and he just wants to love you

-He also steals your shirts and jackets sometimes and you let him because he looks so smol it’s precious

I ship you with Heather McNamara!

-It was hard for her to come out, and despite knowing for years you were her first girlfriend

-And boy howdy she was ALL in!

-She takes you to see community theatre and college shows, since no big theatres around around Sherwood

-She protects you from the Heathers every time one of them tries to make fun of you

-You and Veronica make fun of them together and you’re good friends

-She fondly teases you about dating Mac but she loves it, you’re so cute together

-Sometimes you give her piggy back rides because she just loves them and you love hearing her laughing and having such a good time!!

-Her favorite date spot is to a park

-Sometimes you play two player versions of sports together and just run around for hours

-She comes to all your soccer practices and games

-And she cheers so loud she has no shame about who she loves

-Heather Duke made her an outcast for it but it’s okay! She doesn’t need popularity if she’s got you

-She bought you your first ukulele! Up til then you’d been renting one from a music store, but she decided to buy you one of your own

-She loves hearing you play and makes you serenade her cheesy love songs sometimes

-She loves you so much she just is so happy to be your girlfriend

I ship you with Jane Seymour!

-You both are absolute moms to the queens

-And when the other girls all hang out sometimes she takes you along or sometimes she tells them to go ahead and goes out to dinner with you

-You console her about missing her son a lot, and it helps since you give the best hugs

-She loves listening to musicals with you (even if there’s inappropriate parts that she refuses to let Boleyn hear or she WILL scream them before shows)

-You hang out in her dressing room before shows

-It helps her calm down and chill out before performing such a hype show

-Your presence really relaxes her anywhere she goes, and she really just loves having you around

-You get her flowers before shows and now her dressing room is FILLED with them

-She likes to read your fanfic, and just ask you what some fandom references mean

-But she likes that you’re so passionate and happy, and she fully supports you

-She soon gets up to date and even helps with ideas when you have writers block

-She runs choreography with you and teaches you sometimes, knowing you’re athletic and can handle it

-She then just kisses your chin (it’s all she can easily reach) and tells you that you’d better stick to soccer

-She winks at you a lot

-Just randomly talking or walking and she just winks

-She doesn’t even know why, it’s weird but now you two dramatically wink at each other everywhere you go

-The other queens are not about it (they secretly love it)

-They’re so happy Jane found love, and will tolerate your weird behavior because of it

-You and Howard are good friends though

-You’re like a weird aunt to the queens, not quite a mom because you’re almost as memey as Boleyn, but an aunt figure nonetheless

-She loves your voice and loves when you play ukulele

-You play new songs you learn for the queens and they get HYPE

-They just love some quality music among Boleyn and Kitty screaming Allstar together

-You go out to lunches together and they get recognized and people ask who you are a lot

-Jane just says “Oh, she’s my girlfriend!” All happy and sweet and so proud that she’s dating you

-Fans normally are so happy, but there’s sometimes a weird flirty or jealous one

-It bothers you a bit, so Jane just drags you down to her level and kisses you right on the street

-The queens roll their eyes and go “Get a room!” But they secretly love it

-Your relationship is just super wholesome and sweet, and you’re just so in love

I ship you with Kevin G!

-You go to all his Mathletes competition and in turn he goes to all your games

-Everyone was surprised that you’d end up together, it was a bit unpredictable

-But once they see you interact they get it

-You send each other memes

-And reference Vine in almost any conversation

-The Mathletes roll their eyes in fake disgust but they KNOW you’re cute together

-You even teach them some sporty terms and easy techniques so they embarrass themselves in PE less often

-For that they love you so much

-Kevin helps you whenever you fall behind in math

-One right question earns you one kiss

-You also have dates watching old geeky movies

-You can see him mouth along to the words and it makes you smile

-You play ukulele for him while he raps

-And you’re both good so it doesn’t sound as weird and bad as you’d think

-He flirts with you a lot

-You just roll your eyes and give some witty remark, but you both know that you love his cheesy pickup lines

-But that doesn’t mean you have to encourage him

-Especially since he’ll do it whether you say so or not. He can tell when you don’t like it and then he stops

-You’re very in tune with each other, you can see each other’s emotions clear as day

-Which is nice because Kevin knows he can be a bit overwhelming so he likes knowing when to temp it down a bit

-He seriously loves your height. He can see you through the hallway or at your games easily, so that’s always a major plus

-And through you he learns a lot about the LGBT community (what you know considering your sexuality)

-He cares a lot and thoroughly supports you

-You introduce him to musicals and he finds himself humming the catchy tunes to himself a lot

-You even take him to see some professional shows as dates

-He gets so excited at the stage door meeting actors it’s his favorite part

-He always gets his playbill signed (and sneakily steals yours to get yours signed)

-You learn a lot from each other and you’re both so happy and so in love

[exceedinghappiness]

This past weekend (Thursday-Sunday) I took my very first solo trip across the country to the beautiful San Diego, California! It wasn’t just my first trip to California ever, but it was also my first flight ever! I’m from Michigan and I've lived here my whole life. I just turned 23 (Aug 21) and I’ve only ever made it to very little states near me... (Ohio, Kentucky, Chicago). All my life, all I’ve ever wanted to do was travel and visit new places and see and experience new things. My family in general are not much big travelers, so they didn’t know much about it, or have any desire to push me past the things that scared me. Well, California has always been a dream state for me to visit. I’ve always wanted to see the beautiful ocean, the palm trees, the perfect weather all year round, etc! Well after talking about “I will make it there one day” to my family about 100x a day, about two months ago, I finally decided that as a 23rd birthday gift to myself- kinda as a new start to a new year in my life, I decided to plan that trip! I don’t have many close friends in general- let alone one that would travel to Cali with me in a short amount of time. I also don’t have family who would do the same! The one fear of mine was flying there. I had never been on a plane before, and all my life that and heights have always been my biggest fear. But I thought about the fact that as the years had went on, my fear of heights weren’t as bad, and I’ve done many things that I enjoyed that I didn’t think I’d ever do. I first booked my flight and started doing LOTS of research about the best way to plan this, considering I’ll be all alone, in a new state I’ve never seen before. I knew no one there, and only had some places and things listed that I knew I wanted to see. I do have a friend who lived in San Diego for two years, before moving back to Michigan. I asked her some of her favorite places and what not to see. I managed to find a cheap hotel in the middle of The Gaslamp District, which personally was an excellent location for me to stay. It was in the perfect location to walk to many restaurants, shops, Balboa Park, Petco Park, etc. It was only a 15 minute ride to Sunset Cliffs and Ocean Beach, and the airport! I ended up Lyfting to the beach and airport each time, since it was a little more difficult to walk, but it only cost about $10-$15 each way if you chose shared ride, which personally made me feel a little more safe and comfortable. Plus if you left to one of the locations in the morning, and planned to spend the day there and come back at night, then it was cheaper than taking a few trips there and back each day. I then spent all the rest of my time walking everywhere using google maps, and yelping places nearby! Let me tell ya, after figuring all those details out, it was all so smooth and wonderful! I had an amazing time just taking as much or as little bit of time the places I wanted to go, and things I wanted to see. I made the choices for everything and didn’t have to worry about feeling like I missed out on things because someone I was with didn’t want to “go there” or “see that.” I felt like I gained an extra bit of independence and learned a whole lot. The one thing that was probably the hardest about traveling alone, was when you’d want to get a Instagram worthy picture in front of somewhere, and you had no one to take it. I learned if you look around you and look for a friendly face. Usually I’d go for young teenage like girls who are most likely very into social media, or young mom’s who are already taking the time to stop and take millions of pictures of their children. They are usually sooo nice and will say yes to taking 1 or 100 photos for you (I did so happen to find a young photographer at Ocean Beach who took over 100 pictures of me, with different angles- so that was cool: see first photo). 

Now on my last full day in Cali (I had a 9am flight Sunday morning) I didn’t have a whole lot of money left so didn’t want to spend it all getting a lyft to and from the beach again, as much as I wanted to. I just wanted to see something new! Well, Friday afternoon- I was walking back from Balboa Park to my hotel in Gaslamp which was about 45 minute walk. There came a point where I ran across a street before the light turned green and then got stopped at the next crosswalk. Suddenly there was a young, attractive gentleman stopping at the crosswalk as well. He had a paramedic uniform on and a very friendly smile on his face. He then turned and asked me what I was running from. I was pretty confused by his question, where he then proceeded to explain I must not be from around there because no one runs across the street unless they’re running from something. I then explained everything. Obviously not telling too much detail or anything because I’m by myself, in a different state, and with some guy I’ve never met before. He was super nice though, and explained how he accidently got on the wrong trolley home from work (which he’s never done before) and was walking to the trolley station, just a couple blocks before Gaslamp. Then he seen me running across the street, was concerned and also knew we’d be walking awkwardly at the same pace a few blocks so thought it’d be less awkward to introduce himself instead of complete silence. We then talked for a bit. He’s very open and very funny! He was very easy to talk to, which is unusual for me who is super introverted. He then asked if he could walk with me until he gets to his destination, because it would be safer than just by ourselves. We ended up walking the 30 minutes to Gaslamp. We were so into our conversations that we both forgot about his street and we didn’t even mind it. He then asked for my Instagram and told me how happy he was he took the wrong trolley that day. I walked the rest of the way to my hotel and he left to go back to the trolley station. Now... Saturday comes and I’m standing in line at Dunkin’ Donuts, it’s not even noon yet and he messages me on Instagram, asking my plans for the day. I didn’t have any so I just told him id probably just walk around and see where it takes me. he knew that was my last day there and told me it was his only day off that week. He asked if I’d want to hangout for a bit. I was a little unsure considering I didn’t actually know him, and all my family told me not to talk or go with strangers. I decided to take the chance but still be safe with it. He ended up meeting me at the Starbucks just a four minute walk from my hotel. He met me there at 1, but was actually early. He was dressed very nice and had a huge smile when I walked up to him. He told me he had a whole day planned for us and some back-up plans if I didn’t like some of his ideas. His first was to take a trolley ride to Old Town San Diego, which I had yet to see plus I had never been on a Trolley before. I loved that Idea and we then ventured off and talked about sooo much along the way, He showed me a bunch of his favorite music, and told me about his life growing up, etc. I enjoyed every single moment of it- even the overly crowded trolley. We then arrived to Old Town, which was totally awesome! He knows so many facts about so many things, and made the history of things so entertaining! He was so comfortable to joke around with and be myself around, it was so wonderful. He also took a few pictures of me in certain spots because he knew i’d want it for Instagram later. I didn’t even have to ask him. I do regret not getting a single picture of him or with him the whole time, only because in the beginning I felt a little weird to ask him because I wasn’t sure how he felt about pictures. He bought me my very first Churro, which was delicious! We just had an amazing time together. Then around 7, we planned to go to one of his Rugby teammates party, but we chilled in the parking lot outside of Old Town to wait for the details of this party. We then had a moment of silence after laughing about something we were talking about, and kinda just stared at eachother smiling. He then kissed me, and it was almost like a “too good to be true” kinda kiss. Eventually we decided to go to his home town and the town he lives called Chula Vista. We took a couple trolleys there and made it there at 7. We walked around his city, talking about the different places and the memories he’s had there growing up. I met his best friend’s mom, who was a total sweetheart and loved me, and told me she better be seeing me again soon. I met his cousin and their roommates, and some of his dad’s co-workers at the fire station. We then made our way to downtown Chula Vista which had a bunch of taco trucks, bars, and shops. It was so cute and everyone was so nice. We stopped in his favorite bar, and he bought us both a Corona then we headed out back to the outside. We spent the last couple hours out there just talking, laughing, showing eachother music, etc. It was then midnight and I had to get back to the hotel to get ready to go to sleep for my early flight in the morning. We ended up stopping at his and his roommates house just a couple blocks down (I know that doesn’t sound safe, but I sent my aunt the address just in case) We all ended up playing video games, eating some homemade tortillas his cousin made, and just listening to music and goofing around. I honestly didn't check my phone or anything just about the whole day, because the whole day was just too amazing and fun. He then drove me back to Gaslamp around 2am (I still didn’t feel comfortable telling him my hotel so I just walked two blocks to my hotel after) but we sat in his car for a bit and just talked about how this whole meeting eachother has felt like a movie. We laughed about it, then explained how terribly sad we are to have to say goodbye already. We both teared up a little and just enjoyed our last few moments together (hopefully not for long though). I then left and so did he. We texted all night til I fell asleep. Now here I am now, writing this Monday night. I’m home now and still felling extremely sad to have left. I’m so happy I went and had the most amazing experience I’ve ever had. We have both been texting and Snapchatting all day, since. I miss him a lot, and it’s crazy saying that considering I’ve only known him a day. But there’s definitely something special about him and I definitely believe there’s something special about the way we met. I believe everything happens for a reason, and his taking the wrong trolley and getting off on that stop that day, and me running across that same street and catching his attention, was all meant to happen. That’s why I believe there’s a special reason he was put into my life, whether or not it ends up romantically, He definitely gave me the most amazing memory I’ll ever have so far. I appreciate him and his kindness, and for just being there. I find new parts of me, I never knew existed. I’ve learned new things. I know so much I want to do now. I’ve made a new friend. Plus sooo much more. California will always hold a very special place in my heart. I definitely plan to visit San Diego again very very soon! Until then... Time to save money and just reminisce through photos and memories in my head. 

[princess-havok]

So about the Dreamcar show

Y’all, so much happened. 

In bullet form for readability/it’s 1AM and I have work in the morning because I’m an adult.

Pre-show

I got there like 45 minutes after doors opened because my days of lining up mega early for shows are over.

That’s a lie

I just had to work til 5 and it was raining all day so I didn’t wanna sit outside anyway

So I walk into the venue, and??? It’s so empty??? Like what the fuck??? I went to the bathroom, which is wayyyyyyy at the back and in the basement, I hate getting to it during packed shows because you CAN’T MOVE. That venue is not safe and there are not enough exits BUT ANYWAY.

When I got back upstairs I went to the merch table and bought a tank top

Warning if you see Dreamcar: it fits weirdly small???

But I love it

Also they didn’t do that thing I hate when bands jack up prices by like $10 because of the conversion rate.

It’s $35 online and I paid $35CAD.

Joke’s on you that’s only like $20US

Help our dollar is a fucking joke

Then I went to the stage and despite the opening band staring imminently I was only two people from the front???

Superet

I mean, I don’t know if I would go seeking out their music but they were really fun and had fantastic energy. The lead singer kept making eye contact with people in the front and it was slightly awkward but also endearing as hell. I kept getting distracted during their set because I decided most of the rest of the band looked like other people

The keyboard player looked so much like Jamison Covington from JamisonParker

Does anyone remember them? They had like one album in maybe 2005 and I loved it

But it’s so emo

Listening to it now is like??? Was my world ever that dark? Damn son.

The drummer looks just like a dude I went to high school with and played in Concert Band with

But it is not.

That dude is a DJ now though

The percussionist lowkey reminded me of what’s his face from Cabin in the Woods... the stoner one. 

Cabin in the Woods is a great movie

Dreamcar

I mean is it any surprise that they’re great live? All of them have been performing for so long so like... they know their shit. But there’s a lot happening all at once, it seems like. You’ll maybe see when I post my video of All Of The Dead Girls once it finishes uploading to YouTube. But I guess it’s partly because Tom, Adrian & Tony are so used to playing together but sometimes it’s like there’s their show happening and then there’s Davey being Davey around them and it is a lot.

Someone yelled “You’re good!” between songs and it got a good laugh out of Davey who was like, “I’m glad you think so???”

Like what an odd thing to say???

The other three have mastered the art of keeping Davey on topic

If he sounds like he’s about to go off on a tangent just start the next song it’s great

“If only that would work during interviews,” I’m sure Jade/Adam/Hunter is muttering to himself in the distance

They covered Don’t Change and it was amazing, I wanted to get a video of it but it was such a different (more upbeat) version I didn’t even clue in on time lmao

During the bridge of Kill For Candy, Davey and I shared a moment during the first “Let it dissolve on your tongue” and it was magical

Post-show

It rained literally the entire day here, so when I walked out of the venue and it wasn’t raining anymore I thought, y’know what, I’m gonna stick around for a bit, try my luck meeting these dudes. But only until 11:00. That’s my cut-off. I’m a responsible adult.

This is a lie

It’s cute that I believed it though

Also it was still raining but it was a very fine mist so it wasn’t that bad

This is also a lie it was terrible and my hair went to shit

There were like 25 people waiting, at the peak of it. After about an hour, some people had left so there were maybe 20 or so. Not bad at all, right? About half of those were No Doubt faithful, who seemed to be a very tight-knit group who all knew each other from various No Doubt events and trips and stuff. They were super nice and -- bonus! -- most of them couldn’t be fucked about Davey. But we did talk about the show, how awesome it was, and the fact that Davey is secretly jacked was mentioned -- not even by me!!! And most of them agreed that a) it should’ve been a longer set and b) they should’ve covered some No Doubt because Davey singing I’m Just A Girl would be delightful.

Somebody made the joke that the guys snuck out past all of us and were probably on the public transit bus that went by

“But then they’ll get to Sherbourne station and get shanked.”

If you know Toronto at all you know that’s probably true

If there was anywhere in this city where a repeat of “what are you gonna do about it, pink shoes?” was gonna go down it’s motherfucking Sherbourne St.

Finally at around 11:15 or so, security & tour management came out and set up a barricade by the bus, telling us all to line up in twos. Ok cool. We did. 

Tom came out first and the orderly line went to shit because he just like, walked right out to chat and take pictures and sign autographs. I was trying to stay near the barricade and missed him entirely. Oops. 

Tony came out next and did the same thing, but actually on my side. I got a picture with him and he signed my ticket.

 Adrian stayed by the barricade but was very chatty with people. I also got a picture and autograph from him.

All of them seemed to like, know some of the No Doubt die hards who were there and I think that’s so cool, they’ve always seemed like this huge, untouchable band to me but they’re so cool with their fans

All three of them got on the bus, and because of the No Doubt fans stepping back I was pretty much at the barricade. The tour manager came back and asked who we were still waiting for so of course were like, obviously Davey. So then came the new instructions:

Single file lineup please (I ended up third, so cool)

No photos

This is 900% ok I’ve seen my pictures with Adrian & Tony I know what I look like

I’ve been standing in the rain for two hours I look like I live in garbage and a family of raccoons have been living in my hair for the winter

No hugs either

Also fine because who honestly wants to hug a bunch of damp strangers???

Just a chat, an autograph, and keep the line moving

Awesome, we’re grown ups, we can do this

Oh shit now I have to think of something to say

So then Davey appears in that long hoodie/cloak... thing... which I SHOULD have asked where he got it because I love it but obviously I think of things to say after the fact, so whatever. He was really chatty and smiling at everyone and it was so nice. The first two conversations happened as I was trying not to awkwardly stare at Davey. I’m not gonna be the one who makes it weird.

This is also a lie

I don’t think I made it weird though

When it was my turn, he asked how I was and I said “amazing” because I was, and the teenage version of me fainted then and there, she was not at all prepared for this moment.

I might’ve rattled off something about how his music, whether AFI or Blaqk Audio or Dreamcar or any other project, has been such a big part of my life for almost half my life now, so thank you and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it

I don’t think that was weird

It was true, too

“Thank you, I hope that’s a good thing.”

I mean.

Obviously.

So I said it’s absolutely a good thing, thanked him again, and mentioned I would see him in like 3 weeks (!!!) for some AFI shows. 

‘Cause y’know. He’ll remember.

And then I walked back to the subway and went home, 18-year-old me screaming internally.

tl;dr I saw Dreamcar, they were amazing, I finally met Davey Havok after 15 years.

[joshterry]

there are no ugly women in oxford, mississippi & other thoughts on anxiety & taking a break

2 days ago i made a very out of character, last minute decision… i decided i was going to take a vacation… and i was going to take it in 2 days…and i didn’t give zero craps what anyone thought of it. i made the decision on my drive into work and the first thing i said as i walked in the door to my staff was “hey guys i don’t mean to freak you out, but i’m going out of town on friday for 6 days. cool?”

i gotta admit my employee & our interns were a little surprised. i’m a pretty predictable person, i love routine, i like schedules and i tend to think most of my decisions are pretty calculate and planned out over a long period of time specifically to make sure no one gets affected - i like that about myself and i think others like it about me too, it’s part of what i think makes me steady. so i didn’t really know how they’d react. this decision however was different, i just felt in my gut i needed to disappear for a bit and i needed to do it suddenly. i shouldn’t have been surprised by this but they (along with all my clients) were very supportive of it. i think everyone probably felt “yea you’ve been a little abrasive lately, get out of here you lunatic.” i don’t say enough lucky i am to get to work every day with people who not only have such strong character but also care for me seem to be able to tolerate my own unique brand of “crazy person.”

traveling’s always been a big part of my life and the past few years i’ve tried to take one vacation a year that’s non-work related. because of my job i’ve gotten to travel all over the word to a lot of big cities & cool places. i’ve been blessed with travel to 49 states (minus alaska, which is just cold and i don’t do cold) and several international countries. so to do something a little different for actual vacations for personal enjoyment one of the things i started doing that’s served me well is i now exclusively go to places i assume others wouldn’t go on vacation to. i’ve been to boone, north carolina, savannah, georgia, athens, georgia, and mobile, alabama over the years. there’s just been something comforting about planting myself in a very small, beautiful southern city for a few days and forgetting my “problems.” these trips always refresh me in a way that the big cities or beaches just don’t. there’s not a lot to do, and you’re forced to just soak in the local culture, talk to regulars and it’s easy to disappear and feel like you don’t have to be “on." my friend leslie who i’ve known since i was in middle school has been offering me for months to come use her family’s vacant home in oxford, mississippi. it’s only 4 hours away from nashville and it’s actually one of the few cities in america i’ve never been to. so on a whim i hit her up on wednesday & asked if if the offer still stood. she said yes, gave me a ton of ideas of things to do and places to eat at, and said “the place is yours, here’s where you’ll find the keys.”

i’m sitting on her couch right now in the quaint little house & i’ve got to say it feels like exactly what i need at this moment.

so why does someone who has amazing friends & family, owns their own business that gives him a lot of freedom and flexibilty in his life need a sudden vacation you might ask? what’s so urgent you whiney 1% whitey? well truth be told i don’t quite know. the funny thing is nothing’s really going wrong. work is good - my business continues to grow, my acts are busy, i’m wanting to sign a lot more things too, i’m not burned out at all (which i gotta say is unusual because i have my hands in a lot of things), and my stress level because of all that is super managable and surprisingly quite low. my personal life couldn’t be going better - i’m in the best health, both physically and mentally, of my life. and i’m being as social as a person like me gets - going out regularly, making plans with friends, seeing lots of movies & more concerts than normal, dating regularly (which comes with its good & bad). so as i evaluate everything on the surface (which yes i do, i’m a dork), nothing really feels disconnected.

but something was feeling off for the past month. i just haven’t been inspired and i’m a person who does need inspiration to feel like i’m growing. i’ve been working hard on my personal life & my professional life but not getting the overall satisfaction from everything i’ve wanted. i think we all go through that though, right? little things that normally wouldn’t affect me were really getting under my skin. anyone who knows me knows that i hate listening to people complain about their problems when they have no solutions in mind on how to improve their situations, i call those kinda people toxic venters and for some reason i was getting surrounded by the marvel avengers of toxic venters lately. i was starting to feel manipulated, taken advantage of, and just honestly like everyone was being rude, self absorbed pieces of crap with no concern for what it was like for me having to be the person taking on their burdens. but instead of saying “i’ve had enough” i’d just listen and try to help, all the while knowing none of them wanted my help. the truth is none of these people are bad people, some of their actions i admit were questionable but i should have felt honored that they were coming to me with their problems, but instead i started to get resentful. i was also feeling quieter and less willing to show myself in situations. most people that know me realize i can be very extroverted, not at a loss for words & able to sit genuinely with who i am. anyone who knows me really well though, knows just how introverted i actually am. my normal preference is to be home in the quiet and not having to be “on” for everyone. being social takes work for me, being in quieter places where i can be more internal is where i feel more at home. and again none of this is unusual. i work in music, everyone’s problems are the biggest deal in the world (please note i say that sarcastically, because really some of y’all are silly with the garbage you get fixated on and very few problems that involve “music” are actual problems in the grand scheme of things) and i’ve learned over the years sometimes you gotta let people get their stuff out so they can get out of their own heads and start thinking more pragmatically & not make emotional (also read “dumb”) decisions.

the other thing that was messing with my head is i was also getting really sick from traveling, not just like “ugh i hate traveling” kinda sick where i snap mean spiriting pictures and post them on instagram from airports, but actually physically sick. on a trip back from LA i got what felt like the early signs of the flu, on a trip to portland several days later my ears wouldn’t pop which gave me a migraine and i felt like i was going to throw up the entire time at the show. on a trip to new york a few weeks later, i started getting crazy anxiety on the flight there and then awful motion sickness once we landed. for someone who has traveled as much as i have in my life, all of this just felt super, super off. i started feeling helpless on these trips mostly because i knew once i was on the ground i needed to power through meetings and have impactful time with my bands and the people working for me. then all of that spread from work to just general social settings. the thought of going to parties, having meet ups with friends or even attending work related events or concerts started stressing me the hell out, like anxiety you wouldn’t believe. and again none of it made sense, when i’d get there everything was fine, i’d have a good time, but man the "getting there" part was awful. all i could think about was i didn’t want to talk to people who were going to just talk about themselves, or worse yet were going to want something from me. part of the draw backs about working in a city where your profession is the focal point of the city is the amount of mooches per capita who are looking for hand outs is overwhelming. i had a show in nashville a few weeks ago & i couldn’t even keep up with the amount of hangers on-ers that came up to me (and i reiterate these are people who never talk to me unless they need something) and they were all looking for work or advice on some bad idea they had that they’ll likely never execute because (and this is going to sound harsh) they’re not good enough to keep their own jobs or see their own ideas through because they let their personal crap get in the way of them completing things or just being a professional in general. sorry i said it - fake that til you make that why don’t you. so saying all of that, because of feeling sick, anxious and frustrated i started feeling like a bad version of myself. i didn’t want to be that grumpy person that everyone was like “what’s wrong with that dude” & i noticed i wasn’t being as positive as i wanted to be with others and worse yet, i didn’t feel like i was as fun to be around or even funny (and y’all, all humility aside, lets be real... i’m hilarious, so if i don’t feel like i’m funny in public, somethings wrong).

so off to oxford, mississippi, i went this morning in my car and after a brief stop in memphis to check out graceland (which by the way did you know elvis has a whole bunch of stuffed animals in his living room & a freaking jesus statue with his name on it right in front of his grave and that junk is wild) i pulled into the driveway. only a few hours later, as cliche as it might sound, i could just feel my soul feeling settled.

i had a wonderful dinner at a place called snackbar and then just spent a few hours walking around the square in downtown oxford. looked around square books & picked up a few things i’m going to read this week while i put my phone on airplane mode & ignore as many emails and text messages as i can. i popped into proud larry’s - a bar & music venue that some of my very first bands used to play every other month which gave me a very comforting and reassuring "how far i’ve come/nostalgic trip down memory lane” kinda vibe. i was able to settle in & remember that even back then i was also an entrepreneur, albeit a really green and probably bad one, but as i sat there and had my drink i could remember how i felt back then. so full of possibility, so full of life. the little things didn’t bother me and i was reminded how many doors opened for me just because i was willing to put in the work, how open i was to collaborating with others and letting them into my life, and how it felt like i had a new idea every day and wasn’t afraid to execute them because of financial concerns or even dumber how i’d be perceived. i just did me, and doing me worked out.

i’m looking to a few days of solitude this week. i’m going to write a lot, read a lot, watch movies and just explore & visit places & do things that are fun to me. did i mention there are zero ugly women in oxford? ZERO! jenn - we might need to open a satellite office here, just sayin’ :) enjoy your next week of work suckers :)

[ghostofasecretary]

hooo boy, this week. it would be good to record things that happened this week, because Feelings are happening about said things

Sunday:

attempted to plan things with the Rat Bastard. that failed

applied to Wellesley

really, really, really did not do my ADLs

watched ASoUE

decided that, instead of homework, i should…hang up pictures? spent four hours hanging up pictures with help of parental unit

and then i had a bunch of new stuff on my wall

Monday:

no school! everybody panic! breaks are terrible and no one should have one!

finished ASoUE

plans with people. talking to people. people are good

GOT OBSESSIVELY LOCKED INTO CLEANING

like. usually i am able to focus on stuff for a while and then stop, but here? no. i moved everything in my room. i went through a substantial amount of papers of me, being a dork from 7th grade til last year, and felt extremely awful about all of them

i hate throwing stuff out! it is very good to do so, but also, ugh

moved and collapsed a bunch of stuff

got freaked out by how empty and new my room is

hung up new art

got extremely pissed at the movie “V for Vendetta,” because THAT IS NOT OKAY TO DO TO PEOPLE, HOW THE FUCK, WHAT KIND OF ABUSIVE SHIT SHOW, i don’t really have flashbacks but if i did, uh. yeah.

made some rice

had a panic attack in the shower, as one does

just felt really really terrible for mostly indiscernible reasons, which probably round to “breaks: they aren’t good”

felt okay by the time i went to bed, though

Tuesday:

fuck tuesday

did my homework in the morning because brains, what are brains

hey the principal needs to talk to you and your mom! for reasons! apparently!

HEY GUYS MANDATORY SURPRISED UNSCHEDULED SENIOR MEETING RIGHT WHEN YOU ARE SCHEDULED TO LEAVE WITH YOUR FRIEND

OOPS NOPE NOW THAT IS CANCELLED

then i got to see Joe, which was lovely

we went to the best coffee shop and hung out, and bullied each other into making lists, and we talked about our vastly different suicidal feelings and how i just sort of - process my suicidal intent as background noise, not really anything, like pain, like habit - don’t feel suicidal in the same way i don’t feel like a redhead, and i showed him all of rusalkii’s “the paint pettiness” tag because it is fantastic, and so that was delightful

then we went to an art studio so he could work on photos

i derped around and read poetry and walked out on the freaking awesome porch and admired pretty spiderwebs and sunlight

and then settled in to read for anatomy

and then Joe came in and did stuff in the computer lab, which was nice

AND THEN

hahahahahahhahhahah

a girl! blue eyes, blond hair, tan skin! name of “Maddy!” came in! to sit next to me!

like, i have a couple of things that basically always trigger me and they are all pretty unfortunate. like, being complimented by authority figures, especially in private, makes me want to die. certain bible verses. people making animal noises. churches, as a general rule. but the number one thing which upsets me is people who remind me of Maddy

like, fictional characters named some variation of “Madison”? yeah. can’t read Worm because there’s a short blond blue eyed bully with that name

people with a certain facial structure, even, if i’m having a Bad Time

which! guess what! the past couple of months! i have been having a Bad Time! for a while i could not go to coffee shops without screaming because tall black haired people had snub noses, okay, it has not been a fun season for the Traumz

and, to top it all off, i don’t actually remember her face or how she spells her name! i don’t! i just remember how her full name sounded/really accurate animal sounds/wanted to be a surgeon/blue eyes/snub nose/ambivalent coloring/blond bob, stacked, she didn’t use conditioner and then she did???/had duck pajamas at one point/SUPER AWFUL THINGS SHE DID AND SAID TO ME AND THEN THE THINGS I DID AND SAID FOR HER, hahahhhahaaahah!

so. had a really long and quiet panic attack

frantically texted Joe to ask if he knew her last name, which he did not

it was so horribly triggering, mother of g-d

then she left

and i cuddled Joe a bit, and he was v calming and good, and we talked about random shit and his photos and The Future, and i read him the english major articles and stuff, and overall it was quite distracting

and she came back, and then we left, and we had a brief interaction but it was...fine

and we went down in the elevator

her sign in didn’t include a last name

we walked to the car, and drove further in, and walked til we got to the gelato place in the deco building

the ice cream barista was v v v cute and relatively interesting and recommended pen&ink for tattoos

i really enjoy Joe, he is a good bean and a good friend and Quality

we walked back

i shouted “you go, running man” at a dude who was running very quickly, which was an Incredibly Impulsive decision and then something i felt shitty about, but it was also kinda funny

and people kinda were screaming as we neared the car, so that was weird

i wouldn’t have gone out unless i were with Joe

but it was nice

and i kinda. felt shitty and lived with it, and didn’t think about stuff, and we talked about How To Comfort Ghost When They Are Dead - Joe has improved a lot and it’s nice to have these discussions - and i helped plan for Joe, and he tried to reciprocate, because trying to help other people is really hard to do well, and i really really love my friends and i love Joe and i love feeling comfortable and safe and alive around people. it was good

and i was home by 8

and my sister had moved to my bathroom? which doesn’t sound like a big deal, but also. ugh. i moved downstairs, despite it requiring a lot of leg movement for me, because she is so exhaustingly untidy. i had to force her to clean up, which was unpleasant

and i think this is when i learned about the subject of the mystery meeting? mr. Post decided i could not fully join the alum association because i am not a christian, even though he had earlier said i could! and i was never less than honest about who and what i am! and so either i could do something half baked or i could do nothing. so. wasn’t that a lovely surprise to top off my day :/

and then i went upstairs and my room was empty and i was empty

got to sleep by 9:30, which was at least one good thing

Wednesday:

i was so tired and everything was 10x harder

by lists, this was the busiest day of the week. gotta love that.

got to school at 7:15, due to my mother’s job

did classes

ugh

N, another good bean, immediately got why i was so stressed and was super sympathetic and also asked if it was the Maddy, and i hadn’t thought of that, and i don’t know, i don’t know, i hate my brain doing this to me

we had a super passive aggressive and rather inefficient senior meeting led by the principal, which exposed School Drama

and a disturbing view of how classes work, but that is another topic

i asked good questions and it was incredibly obvious that certain people were at fault and other people were acting decently and still others had no idea that this was happening and did not enjoy the guilt trip and scrupulosity triggers and, in fact, the knowledge of other people’s stupid high school bullshit

who doesn’t get their drama done in 5th grade and get super traumatized and decide to never do that again? honestly

AND THEN

(warnings for a lack of clarity in the next section, because rage)

ms. Cathey yelled at us for being “selfish”

and said we were “spoiling your reputation”

and more importantly, “spoiling my reputation. this reflects badly on me and my job.“

FUCK YOU

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT KIDS

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU LEAD PEOPLE

the only reason classes have a reputation is because you tell other classes about them

ALSO: PLEASE DO NOT INSINUATE THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE BEHAVING SELFISHLY WHEN, IN FACT, THEY ARE ACTING LIKE PEOPLE AND YOU SEE YOURSELF AS A DIVINELY APPOINTED MEDDLER AND THUS THEIR PROBLEMS ARE A SELF CENTERED ATTACK ON YOU, AS A PERSON

you know the only person who was really, lastingly hurt by this? her aide, who spends 8 hours in her office and has her ear as no one else does and has noticeably become more like ms. Cathey in the last year

this is a fucking adult. a 30 year old woman. yelling at high school seniors about how they are selfish for attempting to solve their own, mostly self generated problems, without talking enough to the person you hear most from, who is probably being influenced by your own propensity for inefficient, ineffective, and frankly inaccurate communication

YOU ARE BAD AT YOUR JOB AND BAD TO PEOPLE AROUND YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE FIRED, PLEASE STOP BEING AROUND PEOPLE WHO ARE EASILY HURT, PLEASE STOP BEING SO DUMB, JUST. Fucking stop.

(that’s not very kind, but at this point i am incredibly angry with her and my anger is justified, and so i will have to construct a positive case in defense of her, that’s good practice. once i graduate, though, i am asking for her to be fired)

no one came out of that meeting with anything resembling sanity

and then my meeting with the principal got cancelled

and i went to a coffee shop and hung out with The Coolest Dietz, which was pretty great

except i was, as noted, dead and full of rage and anxiety

but mostly it was awesome

and then i had philology club

and then i took a friend home

and then i took a bath

and then i figured out how to dress for prom

and then i had that kind of dissociation that’s so stark and unsubtle it can’t be anything but dissociation, where your hands aren’t your hands and your body isn’t your body and you aren’t alive, at all, really, you’re a floating falling non being in static space

and then i read someone’s trauma blog a bit

and then i talked to a person

and then i failed to do things, because exhaustion

and then i went to sleep really early

Thursday:

did not have homework done, which was unfortunate but could be fixed. also did not have headache medications.

why?

because who has the energy to remind people multiple times of your pressing need for medication

it was an understandable mistake, but also. ugh.

PAIN HAPPENED

skyped my principal while i had a migraine. that was…fun.

i don’t feel like detailing it but it went well, i guess, and we decided a thing, mostly

apparently i am “groundbreaking” or w/e

remember how compliments from authority figures in private make me want to die? yeaahh

laid in the dark while in pain for a while

got meds at 12

read about s t o y a, because why not

got increasingly horribly anxious about my freaking homework for Friday

talked to a person; said person attempted to help and had me do some ADLs, which was good

got an SD card, which was a surprise but a good one

still did not even begin to do things. SO. TIRED.

stayed up til 11, decided this was unproductive because i could not move

went to bed

Friday:

decided to go to school even though i had done nothing and was dead, because i have a fun Dr. V class on Fridays

read the German in a rush before school

went to class

went to break. oh! turns out! we’re streaming the whole inauguration! and today has no schedule! and Mr. Post’s secretary isn’t here, so we can’t ask her why!

i hate surprises

one of my two classmates is incredibly, incredibly pro-Trump

it’s so exhausting.

the other was absent

we read some stuff, it was good, the fact that i didn’t have my homework mattered less than expected

Dr. V did not actually call me and The Coolest Dietz, who decided to hang out in our classroom, quote man-hating dykes unquote, but holy shit, that was hilarious

and very inaccurate, in Dietz’s case. after he left Dr. V began talking about how he could “clean up nice” and “all the boys at our school must be blind,” which was even more hilarious

(also this saga was a bit awful, but there are things that you forgive in order to live in the world, so)

S U R P R I S E

YOU HAVE TO GIVE A SPEECH! 

SORRY THAT I, THE GREAT MS. CATHEY, DIDN’T TELL YOU THIS

ALSO I GAVE YOU BLATANT MISINFORMATION ABOUT THE BANNER, SORRY

WHO DOESN’T LOVE FUN SURPRISES

ALSO I WAS GONE ALL DAY BECAUSE I WAS GETTING MY HAIR DONE, LOL

called a college b/c application bullshit

prepared for Teh Prom

was at Teh Prom

it was exhausting and i was temporarily blinded due to masks

Surprise! the person who made last year’s third quarter miserable with her wedding showed up and hugged you from behind! gotta love it!

she wasn’t at my table, thank fucking god

sat next to M and K, and M wanted to talk about 3D printing and K wanted to write notes, and it was altogether pretty satisfactory

the food wasn’t great, but it existed, so that was good.

i waltzed with Joe’s little sister, the same K, which was pretty fun

wrote a lot of notes, always a delightful Teh Prom activity

i wrote a speech in the car on the way there

THAT WAS SO ANXIETY INDUCING

it was a Work for me and my co-banner-bullshit-committee-member to divide the speech into a nice, thematically appropriate thing, BUT WE DID IT

THANK GOD

and my jokes carried! and we played off of each other! i fucking love public speaking

and the NOA thing happened

it was surprisingly not awkward, if anxiety-inducing

and then it was over

and i went home

and i was home

and i slept

Saturday:

slept for 12 hours and woke up at 11

good talks in the morning

mostly was a person

felt bad

did laundry

took a bath

cleaned my room some more

went to a tea shop, which was nice

cleaned some stuff

read about how to resist Trump

goofed around on tumblr

drank a delicious oatmeal type mocha and had an extremely filling triple layer chocolate mousse

went home

ate a lot of food

kinda crashed

talked to people

realized HEY, i feel like an automaton or a cyborg and usually that means i am festering

wrote this thing! thanks again, rusalkii, you are a delight and an extremely helpful human

now: put up laundry

slep

i don’t know how i feel, still, but i now understand the magnitude of shitty stuff which has happened. the thing on Tuesday has made everything 10x harder, even though i was able to ground and be comforted and think the past was post, it still sucked a lot. and there were other triggering things this week! there was a frankly ridiculous amount of pain and also walking!

surprises kill me so much and so thoroughly and i never remember this.

next week will probably be hard. i might not feel it. i first thought i wouldn’t react for a while, but i seem to be reacting a bit. maybe something will pop up later and maybe it won’t, who knows. it’s okay that things suck.

a few quotes: not the spring dawn: i strained, i suffered, i was delivered. this isn’t the present. nature isn’t like us, doesn’t have a warehouse of memory.

lucky nature.

(not everything has to bloom. that’s how gardens work: you plant seeds, you wait. something imperfect grows, still, maybe.)

[winstonhcomedy]

HDWDLN? 11/8 “Bloody Noses and Kenn Edward’s Glorious Return”

I AM BEHIND. I’ve been a busy bee movie over here. Thursday was a sweet night. Two open mics, and the grand return of one of my oldest comedy friends. 

The first show of the night was The Camel run by Jameson Babbowski. The headliners for the night are Richmond alt-comedy favorites Mike Engle and Patrick Buhse. 

I get to the show and I get a sweet hang going on with two of my best buds Paige Campbell and Kenn Edwards. Paige and Kenn both started around the same time in Waynesboro. I started about a year later, and we became fast friends. 

Kenn has done sets sporadically over the past couple of years, but he had been focusing more on his band Alex Jonestown Massacre for a while. He got out of comedy for a bit when he was going through his separation. I’ve missed this dude a great deal, and was super happy to see him doing a set again. 

There used to be a lot of comedy in Waynesboro/Charlottesville area. About 4 1/2 years ago Kenn Edwards started a room at The Hot Spot. This area was so starved for comedy that apparently every show there was amazing. Super hot/supportive crowds given a bunch of local dudes/weirdos/laydees an opportunity to perform. 

This is where Paige Campbell had his first set. This is where the early scene used to perform. People like Mary Waalkes Jarvis (quit comedy), Loris Jarvis Jr (quit comedy), Winston Smith (passed away in drunk driving accident), Trevor Stewart (quit comedy), David Lingenfelter (performs once a year), Tom Wagoner (quit comedy), Rosy Wagoner (quit comedy), got their earliest sets and confidence. I know I'm leaving a ton of people out. Tj Ferguson and Chris Alan also performed here. It was where Kenn filmed his short film “The Joke”. 

So Kenn gave a lot of people stage time. He gave them really good stage time too. He gave them an opportunity to do something fun and weird in a part of VA where that wasn’t really happening.

I never got to perform here. Maybe that’s why I have such reverence for it. I just always hear about how hot and great the room was. It makes me wish I had started just a little earlier. The Hot Spot closed like a month before I started doing standup. 

Kenn is also someone that I spent a ridiculous amount of time with during my most formative years of comedy. The first 18 months I did standup I didn’t have a full-time job. I substitute taught, but only when I wanted to. What my first 18 months of comedy was driving all over the state of VA doing open mics, staying up til 5 am with Kenn and Paige almost every night, doing Kenn’s amazing podcast (so let’s get to the point), staying over at Paige’s house and vice versa. 

This is legitimately the most fun 18 months of my life. we made lifelong friends (TJ, Chris, Kenn, and Paige), did some of the most fun rooms that no longer exist (Fellini’s, Firefly, Boneyard, Artful Dodger), we did the worst rooms imaginable (Eddy’s. Legitimately the worst comedy room I’ve ever done and I did it every Monday for like 4 months). I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. So it was a bummer when Kenn took time off, and I’m so happy he is back.Rosy Wagoner also shows up. I talk her and Kenn into doing a So Let’s Get To The Point. She is fully intending to go up, but ends up leaving halfway through the show.

The crowd is lighter than usual, but they’re into the show. Paige goes up first and has an ok set. He’s working out some new stuff and get some good pops. I go in the back to hang after his set. While back there Jameson comes and tells me I may have to fill in to be one of the headliners. Apparently Patrick Buhse was bleeding out of his face at an alarming degree. 

I have no idea what happened. Buhse told me that he was just talking and then his face exploded (I'm paraphrasing). Jameson is freaking out. He is running around and looks so nervous. He is definitely trying to run a dope show and I love the dude but Jameson was giving me crazy anxiety. 

I go to the other room and Buhse hasn’t left. He is just nursing his nose wound. He seems fine. I tell him to just shove a paper towel in there, and James Muñoz tells him to perform. He gets his shit together, and I don't have to headline. The good news is I get to go first on the open mic after. 

Buhse has a pretty good set, and the visual of bloody tissue paper falling out of his nose really tickles me. He gets off stage, and I go up. I have a pretty strong set. I am very happy with it. The crowd is kind of light but most of what I do on stage works. I think a few of these jokes are close to being finished. This means I have to start doing some other new stuff, or stretching this material out. I’d give my set a B which isn’t bad for this show. 

A few other people go up. My buddy Rick has a fine set, and so does Bryan. My friend Nick Deez (the boxx) is in town and he goes on stage and struggles a bit trying some stuff. This is definitely a workout room tonight. 

Then Kenn goes up. Kenn has one of the better sets of the night. When Kenn used to do comedy he would basically just do puns, and whatever else he could think of to make the audience not like him. His stage presence never matched his writing. He had jokes that I always thought could do better if he would just try to sell them.

Kenn is one of my best friends in the entire world. I legitimately love this guy to death. Our friendship has such a weird dynamic. There are very few people I can disagree with so vehemently on things and be ok with. I have had the best conversations of my life with the dude, and for that I am ridiculously thankful. I can be stubborn about a lot of shit. In comedy and in life. Kenn is the person who helped persuade me that having a unique perspective can be as important to being a good comic as it is being a great joke writer. He’s socially conscious and never gets offended. I’m thankful I know him. 

I say all that to point out that his comfort level on stage is changed. Since he is in a band now it feels like he doesn’t need comedy as much. Which honestly is good for him. He doesn’t seem as nervous and he seemed like himself on stage. He did some crowd work, and worked some loose premises, It all went pretty well, and it looked like he was a dude who had figured a lot out about himself over the last 6 months. After his set we finish watching the show, and then I give him a ride over to Garden Grove.

On the ride Kenn admits that it didn’t even feel like a high anymore. Rock and roll has polluted him. He had one of the better sets and he said it didn’t even kick in his adrenaline. I hope that eventually changes because I want him to keep doing comedy, and I want him to have a good time while doing it.

I get over to Garden Grove and find out I”m going first. Which is fine. I don’t feel super great and I have a long day at work the next day. I chill and catch up with some friends. Garden Grove is a weird room. Sometimes it is super dope, and other times it is like pulling teeth. James went up first did a few minutes, and tried to get them into the show. 

Noel Goodman a 757 comic comes and grabs me for a selfie. At first I had no idea who this crazy person was. Once I realized he and I caught up and he asked me to take pics for him, and he would do the same for me. I am more than happy to oblige. 

The show was lightly attended, and I was just trying to get them to pay attention. I go up and I get chuckles on most of my new stuff. I definitely am not selling the jokes the way I should. I do fine, and then I do an older joke that I want to bring back about roombas. That gets a really good response, and I get greedy. I try one last joke and get jack shit. Se la vie. All in all it was super productive, but I didn’t feel great about the set. I’d give it a D. If it wasn’t for the Roomba joke It would have been an F for me. 

The worst part is after bombing I have to now sit and take pictures. This is a literal hell. I wanted to leave so bad and just sulk. Unfortunately now I look like a damn tourist at his first open mic ever. 

After the set I talk to Noel again and walk around and say my goodbyes. This was a super fun night. I had two productive sets. I stuck to my material, and I really think I am making progress on it. It feels good to not be stagnant doing the same stuff forever. I get so in my head about it. It gives me anxiety, but it helps me write a lot. I think I have one of the better turnover rates in the scene, and I want to keep it that way. Although bombing feels like shit, the reward of getting a brand new joke to work is so worth it. 

THANKS SWEET BAYBEES AND LAYDEES!!! I am a little behind. I promise I will be caught up by this week. Tomorrow I will talk about my weekend of shows and I might actually get to the wild shitshow that was Monday!!! WHOOO ZADDY!!! XOXOXO

[iheartsurveys]

130

Do you have any bad relationship experiences from your past? Well I haven't been in any "relationships", at least not serious ones where I'm like "hey this is my boyfriend so and so". None of my dating experiences have been bad per se, but they also haven't been great. During they were fine, it's the towards the end/after that is eh. Basically dating in college is a waste of time if you're looking for something mildly serious/not tryna just hook up, and all the boys you talk to are. But they don't seem that way. Yeah idk I'm rambling now Will you ever be with the person you truly want to be with? Celeb crush of the moment is chris Pratt and no, sadly I do not think we will ever be together as he is married and also he's famous and I'm just me Do you have any relationship with the state of California? No What’s something about other people that drives you crazy? When they drive slow. Or walk slow. When they're rude. And loud. What are you doing? This. I was watching YouTube videos trying to stay up until midnight because I thought Harry's single would be out by then but according to twitter it's coming out at 12 pacific time? Ain't nobody got time for that, but also now I'm kind of awake so here I am doing this and I'll probably sleep after What are you wearing? Athletic shorts and a pocket tee Baseball is the best sport hands down…right? I like baseball but the best sport is hockey, duh Do you like chocolate? Loveeeee Like the movie Elf? Yeah it's alright Ok let’s talk travel, do you like to travel? Haven't done toooo much traveling but I'd love to Where have you been? Every state on the east coast between Connecticut and Florida, except for Georgia. Also west va, Ohio, and Arizona. And then Niagara Falls, Toronto and a couple different places in Italy. And technically England but I never left the airport. Next place you want to go? Might be going to Colorado for work in July so that's cool. I'd like to go on a cruise. Also England and California. And back to Florida to go to Disney and universal If you’re quiet what does it mean? It could mean nothing since I'm quiet a lot, depending on who I'm around. Or I could be mad or sad Something that makes you smile? Dogs Do you have trust issues? Yeah a little Do you mind watching chick flicks? Nah I love a good chick flick When’s your birthday? June 13 If you need a hug at 3 in the morning, who do you ask? Well if I'm home I probably wouldn't wake my mom up unless I was feeling ill, so I'd do nothing. And if I'm with friends I guess them? Idk I'm never up at 3 am anyways, even if I'm upset I just go to sleep Do you mind if people just show up at your house unannounced? None of my friends or anyone does that since we don't live in the same towns sooo idk. I hate when people do that trying to sell something Do you enjoy rain? Yes, as long as I don't have to go out in it Are you one of those people who are always tripping over things? Sometimes Would you ever consider taking evening classes in anything? Not right now...when I start my job (start date in July woohoo! Yay for knowing but boo that it takes forever, cons of my field) I won't really have the time Do you have any traits that you obviously inherited from your parents? I'm very similar to my mom, yes. And some like my dad as well Do you like sushi? I've had it like twice, it's eh. Probably haven't tried the right things Have any of your friends gotten engaged recently? Not a close friend but a fb friend just did a week or so ago Would you ever drop everything and go traveling for several months? Ugh I wish What’s your favorite thing from Olive Garden? The salad and breadsticks of course Is there a specific reason you’re not dating the last person you messaged? I'm not interested, she's in a relationship, and she's my bff Do you tend to get paranoid a lot? More like anxious but yes How many bedrooms are there in your house? Technically 4 but one is used as an office Have you ever built a sandcastle? Yes Do you use an instant messenger? If so, what is it? Just iMessage and fb messenger Do you watch reba? No I kind of hate Reba How many more days til your school is out? Not in school Do you listen to the hush sound? I did in high school. I still have some songs on my phone. Wine red was always the jam Do you drink a lot of soda? I cut down a lot but I do drink soda occasionally How do you look right now? I'm okay, my hair is a little cray since I let it air dry Were you taken last year on Valentine’s Day? When am I ever taken Do you remember who you were interested in around this time last year? It's been about a year since I first met Andrew, and I was interested a little bit after meeting him sooo yeah I suppose Would you rather date someone you think is cute, or someone who you think is hot? Either is fine? Or if you're one you can also be the other like how is someone hot but not cute...? Do you go to school currently? Nope When was the last time you cried? Why? Earlier today. I'm so lame I was watching the video of jimmy fallon and the rock at universal or wherever photobombing people at the tonight show ride or whatever while dressed as like mascots of themselves, and the last dude saw the rock mascot and was like whoa the rock my idol since I was 5 and then when he took off the head and the guy realized the rock was actually right there he cried and I cried idk why it was so cute I cry at random things Have you ever thought of killing yourself? No Who was the last person to call you? My mom probably Did you make a best friend in high school? The people that were my best friends in high school I was friends with since middle school. But I don't talk to any of them really anymore, especially since I moved after sophomore year. And I didn't make best friends and my new high school. But I made best friends in college so that's cool You’re currently listening to? Nothing. I have a Mumford & sons song stuck in my head so that. It's The Cave Who are you expecting a call from? No one When will your next kiss take place? Who knows What are you feeling right now? Sleepy Do you have any homework to do? Lol no When was the last time you smiled? Little while ago Do you like anyone? No Are you afraid of roller coasters? Just the super scary ones...like kingda ka at great adventure is one you'll never see me on nope no sir I hate roller coasters like that Do you know any songs that remind you of summer? Sure. Like summer by Calvin Harris. Or shut up and dance because I remember they played that nonstop all summer. What were you doing at 7:00 AM? Sleeping Can you keep a secret? Yes Do Italian/French/Spanish accents turn you on? French accents are eh Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? No Did you speak to your mother today? We speak every day Do you have plans tomorrow? Yep I have some errands to run Were you happy when you woke up today? I was surprised because I slept until like 10:40. It was rainy this morning and I have black out curtains so my room was super dark I didn't even realize it was so late Are you missing someone? A little Where were you at 3:00 AM this morning? It technically hasn't been 3 today yet, but I can tell you I'll be in bed, not listening to sign of the times because a girl has to sleep What’s your favorite coffee shop? Dunkin What’s your opinion on cinnamon rolls?: Loveeee Have you ever taken a bath with someone? No What’s your grandma’s name?: Maternal was Elizabeth, paternal was carol Where is your biological father right now?: I'd assume home Do you have any freckles?: Yep a bunch of random ones Do you like orange juice?: Yes Did you watch the Cosby Show when you were younger?: Sometimes if it was on nick at night Have you ever dated someone as a rebound from your old relationship? No Which of your exes is the best looking? Andrew What would you do if your ex broke down and told you he loved you? I'd say lollll that's weird since weren't like that and haven't spoken in forever You & your last ex, who should hate who? If anyone is hating anyone, I should hate him over him hating me but I don't hate him because while I was upset we dwindled away, it was never super serious or like talks of it being really serious? Idk it was one of those weird in between things Does rebounding really help at all? Can't imagine it would Where did your last ex ask you out? As I've said 1000 times we were never bf/gf...we actually got set up as formal dates through a mutual friend, and before formal weekend we texted and he asked me to grab Starbucks since like just rolling up to formal never meeting is odd. Getting set up is odd too but it was honestly a fun weekend Have you ever seen somebody get arrested? I don't think so Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Sure Do you like it when friends are comfortable with dropping by unexpectedly? I said before no one does that to me, and I also don't do that to them soooo