#and it's been one of those weeks where i'm just constantly falling asleep

[theragamuffininitiative]

Okay tell me ALL about your fairy tale retelling WIP, I am most curious!!

hi hi hi!

Brief lil disclaimer here: I wrote this story as my nanowrimo project back in erm 2021 and have barely looked at it since. (working on that!) Everything I am about to say is based on my memory of how the story was working at the time and a couple glances at my documents tonight - and if I say something in this post that I like better than what I originally had, I will run with it. XD

Right then!

Tsarevitch Ivan, the Firebird, and the Gray Wolf is a Russian fairytale classified as a 550 on the ATU folklore index (a fact I sprinkle in not to be pretentious but bc I recently discovered the index and it is fascinating). This basically means the story revolves around catching a mystical bird, sometimes a phoenix, and involves a princess, usually a horse, and some supernatural animal helper. In my retelling, I also take from the Grimm Brothers' The Golden Bird version.

As you know, I fell into the intrigue of this tale when visiting an art museum displaying Vasnetsov's A Knight at the Crossroads, which is a reference to this tale. Now, Vasnetsov also painted Tsarevitch Ivan on a Gray Wolf:

And it's just so????!

In my retelling of this fairytale, our hero is a bit of a simple boy. He is content with simple things and a simple life after his near-death at a young age to a mysterious wasting disease spreading across the land - a madness that robs the infected of sleep and appetite until they go insane. The only cure is the fruit of an equally mysterious tree. Ivan fears his healing may have not been complete, for he has not felt the need for sleep or food the way he ought to ever since.

When fruit begins to disappear from the closely protected tree, the threat of losing the cure drives Ivan into action. An enchantment of sleep shields the thief from being captured. Here, Ivan's curse is a boon, as he alone sees a great golden bird steal the fruit. Although a great company set out to capture the bird, Ivan becomes separated from them and lost. At an ancient crossroads that promises death in every direction, he meets the Wolf, the instrument of the crossroads' doom. When the Wolf unexpectedly takes Ivan to find his missing companions, they discover the whole company has fallen to the madness - Ivan's brother among them.

It is no disease, but a curse.

Ivan, now with the Wolf, seeks aid from his best friend, the Princess Evolett, who was to be wed to the prince of the neighboring country and seal a treaty of peace between them. But all is not as it seems in these foreign lands, and Ivan must work with the Wolf to capture the golden bird, protect the fruit tree, rescue Evolett, heal the madness, prevent war between the two kingdoms, and defeat a dark enchantment for good - if the Wolf, the madness, or a multitude of other enemies don't kill him first... [ramble continued below the cut]

I love, love, love playing around with the fairytale motifs in this story.

For example, the original fairytale has a very episodic, repetitive sort of scavenger hunt that Ivan is forced into. I messed with it a lot to give the different elements their own, interconnected importance: the tree is a magical cure, the bird has magical elements of its own, the golden cage from some versions of the tale is a metaphor for the princess's imprisonment, the inns are not merely symbolism for laziness but traps laid by a powerful enemy to serve a dark purpose, and nothing is as it would seem - least of all Ivan or the Wolf.

The characteristics for Ivan specifically came to me while watching Mal in the first season of Netflix's Shadow and Bone.

I really love Mal's stubborn tenacity, fierce loyalty, and simplistic personal goals in the face of all the complexity and conniving of everything around him. Since this fairytale showcases a "simpleton" character, I wanted to show that character at their very best.

Also! I love writing Ivan and the Wolf. Ivan's plucky, irreverent sense of humor set against the Wolf's stoic, utterly dry and cold attitude is so much fun to play with. 👏

(tried to credit the images by link, not sure if that worked)

Excerpt from Ivan meeting the Wolf:

Then the wolf made a guttural, whining sound from the back of its throat, a sound which rolled forward out of its mouth and formed into four distinct words. "Will you kill me?" Ivan stared at it.  Having never met a wolf before, he couldn’t say with absolute authority that they did not speak, but he also thought that if they had, someone might have mentioned it to him once upon a time. This one, however, most assuredly had spoken. He supposed he should have asked it to repeat itself, or even agreed with the sentiment and at once lifted his weapon. Instead, he considered the question posed to him. "I don't think so," he said in the end. "Not unless I have to.”  He didn’t add that this was because he didn’t think he could beat the wolf if he tried. There was something else at work here, as he had feared, and he needed to find out what the game was. In his head, he noted that this creature was not merely a wolf, but the Wolf. The wolf made another noise, and this sounded like a quiet, “Ah, then.” “What will you do if I come down?” Ivan ventured to ask. The Wolf blinked lazily. “I have deprived you of your mount,” it stated. “I have come to take you where you must go.” That didn’t sound promising, although slightly better than admitting it wanted to gobble him up. “Are you fae?” Ivan called to it. He felt he remembered something from his father’s stories that the fae had to answer truthfully the questions you asked them directly. “I am not.” Enchanted or a liar, then. A wolf given the tongue of man. It also seemed to think something like a man, though its tone was distant and cold. “How can I trust you?” he asked it. The Wolf stared at him, not responding, and cocked its head. So maybe not the thinking of a man. Maybe the concept of trust was foreign to it still. He tried something less abstract. “Are you going to attack me?” “That is not my purpose,” said the Wolf. “There is an inn, a long distance from here. You have strayed from the path and it took me some time to find you, but I can lead you there, through ways horse hooves cannot tread, before the Wood grows dark.” “Is leading me to the inn your purpose?” “It is.” “Why?” The Wolf had to think about this, and Ivan thought again that it didn’t seem to be comfortable with questions that involved reasoning beyond cold facts. “The crossroads demand a price from everyone who passes through them. The price is set by your choice and you have chosen. Now I will take you where your path leads.”

Yes, I'll take "uneasy partnerships founded on enmity but sealed in friendship" for $500, thank you.

A messy music playlist I haven't touched since NaNo writing: here It's a story of family, loyalty, honor, and simple truths more powerful than any deep enchantment. 🥺😭

Excited to write Evolett more, she is a spitfire and impressed by no one (even when probably she should be, for her own good lol). Ivan's father was an adventurer in his own day, and I love writing little nods to his offstage capers - there's an invisibility cloak!

Ivan's brother is kind of a jerk. 🙈 But hey, still family. And he's less of a jerk than the guys in the old fairytale ok. 😅 Probably.

Ok, I feel like that's a pretty boring ramble, but I have tried to type this up about five different times so here we are! I have shed tears over Ivan and the Wolf, and lived in the nonsense from the random old woman running the dilapidated inn next to the one that breathes enchantment, and sketched out the borderlines between kingdoms and the unseen shadowy arm reaching across borders to ensnare them all, and written a lot of dog jokes. I love this one, I can't wait to get back into it. 😊

Thank you for asking and letting me ramble! 💛

[joostsblog]

im sending this ask to myself as a reminder for this fic idea i just had: joost friends to lovers trope inspired by fallingforyou by the 1975!!! "I read between the lines and touched your leg again" "I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck" aaaaaaaahhhh!!!

hello joostsblog you read my mind you know me so well its scary

fallingforyou ~ joost klein one shot

My masterlist here ✨💌

Pairing: Joost Klein x female!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: You know im a sucker for friends to lovers 👀

Warnings: not proofread

There were times when you were uncertain of Joost's feelings for you and there were times you were very certain.

Like when he would gently tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear while you were talking. The touch would feel so intimate yet mundane. After all the strand dangling in front of your eye had been bothering you.

Or when he would lift you up so you could catch a look at the artist on stage when you were doomed to standing at the very back of the pit. Or when he would get you a drink after you finished rambling about your shit day at your job. In those moments you wondered whether you were the only one that secretly wished that touches lingered longer and lips would inch closer.

Then there were the times when his hugs definitely felt distanced in the way a platonic hug should be. Or when he would tell you how fit he thought that brunette across the bar was and you would tell him about your latest failed tinder date. In those moments you were certain you were just a friend to him.

You had known each other since you were 19 and you'd grown together. You had just started uni in Amsterdam and Joost's music career was slowly taking off. He'd call you in between lectures to convince you to come out to one of his gigs in the evening even though you needed to study. In the end, you would almost always show up. Even if it meant biking half an hour to get there with your uni bag still slung across your body.

When you were 23 and just finished your bachelor's degree, Joost was able to move into a bigger apartment. You vividly remember the day you turned in your final assignment and went to Jumbo to buy some supermarket flowers and a bottle of wine. You biked to Joost's new apartment where he greeted you with your favourite chocolate and a banner hung across his living room congratulating you on graduating uni.

Nowadays Joost constantly nags you and says he misses those days when you were still unemployed, when you didn't spend 5 days of your week at work. "I don't miss it," you would laugh and remember those uncertain times when you didn't know how to make rent and whether you would ever get a job. Joost would always help you out, buy you food or even cover rent, no matter how sternly you protested.

Your friends would tell you to get together already. That you were made for each other. But every few years you watched the other person get into a relationship while the other one was just healing from a tough break-up. Fate never really seemed to align with the two of you. So after a few years you didn't even think of the possibility of the two of you getting with each other realistically. That didn't mean you stopped wishing for it. Joost was your everything, you loved him - more than as just a friend.

The days had gotten shorter, the weather rainier and even you had admitted that sweaters were more appropriate to wear than

t-shirts. It was Friday evening and you tried to break the news to Joost that you would be going home already.

"No, (Y/N), please stay," Joost whined and you laughed.

"I'm sorry, I can't," you said. "I'm so tired." You had come to your favourite bar straight after work to meet Joost and some of your other friends. "I need to just lay on my couch and do nothing until I fall asleep now," you insisted.

Joost pouted. "I miss you," he said and your heart broke at the sight of his sad face. "I miss hanging out with you constantly," Joost lightly touched your elbow. Uncertain.

"I know," you said empathetically. "Me too," you put your hand ontop of Joost's to comfort him. "Do you wanna come with me? We can lay on the couch together until I fall asleep," you suggested before you could even think about it too much. His eyes lit up.

"Of course."

You unlocked your apartment door before you both stepped in.

"I haven't been here in forever," Joost remarked and you agreed as you took off your coat.

"Oh," you said as your coat button got caught up in Joost's belt which forced you two to step closer to each other. You laughed and felt your heart suddenly beat faster. Joost took advantage of the moment and wrapped his arms around you to engulf you in a comforting hug. Uncertain.

You laughed on the couch as you tried to pick a shitty reality tv show on Netflix to watch while you knew that you would end up talking over it the whole way through anyways. You watched Joost's face as he told you about his most recent song he finished and all you could think to yourself was, how you wanted nothing more right now than to lean over to him and kiss his neck as if it was the most natural thing in the world. As if you had done it a thousand times already. But what if you did? Would that be so bad? What was the worst thing that could happen?

After all, there were those moments when you were uncertain. Those moments that could mean that Joost wanted the same thing from you. The meanings between the lines which you could interpret correctly.

So the nonchalant touch to his knee maybe wasn't so daring after all. The touch that made Joost stop in his words just for a millisecond before he continued with his story with just a hint of a shy smile on his face.

The touch that lingered on his leg even after you removed your hand again. The touch that made him move closer to you when Joost wondered whether he understood your gesture correctly.

You lifted up the blanket so Joost could cuddle up beside you. Both of your words only whispers now that you were so close. Joost's bare arm was touching against the wool of your jumper and you wished the fabric wasn't a barrier between you in this moment.

"How is it that we never were single at the same time until now?" Joost asked and you laughed.

"I know right," you agreed. "And now I work a full-time job and we can't even enjoy being single together," you joked.

"Well, what if I don't want to be single?" Joost asked.

"Are you on dating apps again?" you asked earnestly.

"No."

"Well, you're not really trying then," you stated.

"I am," Joost said and looked at you with an unreadable expression.

"What's that supposed to mean?" you asked nervously.

"I don't know," Joost said before looking away.

"I don't wanna be single too," you sighed. "I miss the romance."

"Yeah?" Joost asked.

"Yes, like having someone cook your favourite meal for you with roses on the diner table and a massage while watching my favourite movie or something," you said.

"I can do those things," Joost said.

"Well, of course you can," you laughed. "But you'd be missing the romance element," you reminded him.

"Ouch," Joost said. "If you think you could never fall in love with me you could tell me in a nicer way, you know."

"That's not what I meant," you said and dreaded saying what you were about to say. "I mean the other way around. You wouldn't be romantically interested in me."

Joost paused.

"How would you know that?" he asked.

You paused.

Were you reading between the lines? Was there something there in his words? An unspoken implication he expected you to take up on?

"I don't know," you said quietly. It was the truth. You didn't know. You didn't know you were just a friend to Joost or whether there was something more.

"Well, you would know if I leaned in to kiss you," Joost whispered, his voice almost cracking. "And I would know if you leaned in to kiss me," he continued and your heart started beating faster than it already did.

Certain.

You leaned in to close the small distance left between you and Joost. His hand reached up to cup your cheek before your lips eventually met in a passionate kiss. His lips tasted so sweet against yours, like they were made to be pressed against yours. His fingertips felt so tender against your cheek. The frame of his dorky glasses ever so slightly bumped against your nose as you both deepened the kiss, desperate to feel each other after years of longing for a moment like this. After you pulled back you saw a happy grin on Joost's face mirroring yours.

"I've been falling for you for such a long time."

[studentbyday]

catharsis: nearing the end

counting down the weeks to freedom (🏫🙅🏻‍♀️) and in need of stress relief (💆🏻‍♀️🕊️🧘🏻‍♀️)...

1. october (tchaikovsky): maybe one day i will record this song bc it's one of my favorites. also really befitting my underlying mood in this latter half of the semester. under all the stress and frustration, i am just tired. i want to see the world. i want to feel the joy of living again. making my life revolve around the confines of school does not feel like living.

2. apparition de giselle (adolphe adam): the music at the part where she's spinning in circles in the "initiation" scene. that's what today feels like. a flurry of movement, a little desperate, and despite the energy, unfulfilled. even soulless. i'm tired, that's all. stupid insomnia - you know that feeling where you're physically tired and when you lie down on the bed it feels like such a relief, yet you can't fall asleep? i don't know why that happens. am i worried about something? possibly? maybe? but during the day, i don't think i feel super worried.

3. mazurka op. 68 no. 3 (chopin): the first piece by chopin i ever played. the way i heard it in my head and the way i played it didn't have as stately a character as this interpretation, but this was the recording i drew most of my inspiration from. i really miss playing piano and the youthful glow i had felt in that era. it feels like ages ago. and with every passing year, it seems i have more pressing priorities like learning how to be an adult, the desire to forge new relationships and tend to them, and establishing my career, so piano consistently falls to the wayside. i don't regret my career choice tho... gladly, after a long-drawn existential crisis in high school, trying to come to a career path that had the best chance of balancing my needs and wants with the world's, i'm still satisfied with my decision. i want to learn how to use my potential to be of service to others, including those beyond my inner circle. i also want to practice piano after my dreaded winter exams. i will make time for both. 4. rainy day coffee shop ambience with piano music and distant thunder: that satisfaction at having stumbled upon the truth, the solidness of it finding a home in my chest. ☺️ i finally figured out what's wrong mentally and now i have something to work with rather than just floundering, feeling "some type of way", unable to get out of it because i don't even know what "it" is. i'm 99% sure that's what's causing my insomnia. i feel so much more hopeful and peaceful now with my feelings validated and all. 🥺 (update: i had the best sleep i've had in ages ☺️)

5. i dreamed a dream (claude-michel schönberg): i seem to always cycle through the same songs like i'm constantly circling the same drain. do i really always cycle through the same set of feelings every couple of weeks? 🤷🏻‍♀️ i have dreams i don't know i can reach. some of them feel more like fantasies than dreams... in my mind, dreams are super ambitious goals i don't know if i can reach but that are in theory possible to reach (more variables are in my control and have a good chance of affecting the future in the way i want), while fantasies are dreams that are closer to impossible to achieve (fewer variables are in my control and may not have a good chance of affecting the future in the way i want). i don't know, maybe they just feel like fantasies for now, and really, it's not impossible. idk, i don't have a crystal ball...

6. the sound of silence: i literally mean the sound of silence tho, not the song 😂 so underrated when the mind has been a noisy mess. ... and then in random mindless moments, like in the shower or when clearing away the dishes, all the music comes rushing back, begging to be heard and felt and loved.

7. arabesque no. 1 (debussy): learned about CBT in psych so i'm trying out using the situation -> thoughts -> feelings -> behavior template in my journal so hopefully i can figure out why i do or don't do the things i do 😅 and then maybe branch into some small "behavioral experiments"...not really sure yet but hopefully it brings me some clarity!

[kyelsilly]

okay so i am feeling like going on a little rant so!!!!!!!!!

i love my boyfriend SO much. i love everything about him like seriously.

i met him in 2021 and honestly the second i got home i was telling my mum all about him, i never thought id meet someone i admired as much as i did him let alone have him be my friend!! it was at a really scary point in my life actually because i was about to come out as trans publicly to my school a couple of weeks after i met him and he was already out when he got to my school!!! he made me feel so at ease about it and honestly such a coincidence like that almost makes me kinda believe maybe we were like... meant to met???? i know that's really cheesy but honestly it's hard for me to believe it's possible any other way, i mean,,, i live in a TINY town and meeting someone so perfect for me was never something i could have expected

also when i met him i was in a pretty rough depressive episode where i was missing a lot of school and struggling to get up in the mornings but since meeting him it has become significantly easier to get out of bed and do things, he motivates me daily just to do little things and i appreciate him more than anything for that.

i've been through a lot with him through all of the time that i've known him, we've basically talked daily since we met and i don't know where i'd be without him honestly /pos

he helped me a lot on my journey with discovering and understanding my neurodivergence and he has been nothing but compassionate and supportive towards me the whole way, he's somebody who really understands me on a deeper level that i feel like nobody else in person has come close to before, and it feels amazing. i don't feel misunderstood on any level around him and i feel like i can truly unmask around him without fearing driving him away or annoying him.

also he's just. so good to me all of the time. not even just when i'm upset but he's such a sweetheart and has made me feel really content and satisfied in myself as a person and also in the things i do just due to him being so supportive and loving regardless of what i'm doing. he makes me feel pretty and also makes me feel proud of myself for lots of different little things that i do in my daily life. i could never feel more loved by him. he's a great person and he means the world to me.

even when we were just friends this dude was just. absolutely perfect who let him be this amazing???????? seriously man??????

we've shared so many moments together of all kinds of different emotions and i wouldn't trade a second of any of it for the world

he just makes me feel so happy and hopeful for the future and everything that will come with it, i can't wait until we can finally live together and i can fall asleep next to him every single night

being in love is just. such an amazing feeling especially being so deep in it NOT TO MENTION having it reciprocated so strongly i could not ask for anything more than this genuinely

he is so admirable in so many ways and he constantly motivates me to do things ranging from getting out of bed to doing silly little drawings to planning out my future even if he isn't directly trying to do any of those things he still does it and i could not thank him enough for that

not only is he my boyfriend but he is also my best friend and when i say that i mean it wholeheartedly. we are very romantic towards one another but we also spend a lot of moments just giggling and talking about little things, sometimes he makes me believe in soulmates i'm gonna be completely real on this one

i still remember our first kiss from a few years ago now, we were in the school library and we'd been talking about wanting to share our first kiss for a few days and we were both really nervous but he ended up initiating it - it's really sweet to think about seeing our development in our relationship from then to now and how kisses aren't as big and scary anymore

also since we're getting older now we get to sleep over at each other's places a lot more often and getting to wake up next to him ejdkhdfbj/vvpos whenever we live together my back will never be cold again

sometimes i just want to throw him into the sun /pos /aff

also have i mentioned how pretty he is without even doing anything to put any effort into it???????? dude could have the craziest bedhead known to man and i will still be smiling my ass off staring at him he is just so beautiful i hate eye contact with most people but his eyes are just so pretty

also also im starting to put together this little trinket box of things i have from dates we've had / memories i have with him and it makes me soooo happy to have a lot of little silly things like that

we listen to music in the car / in class together a lot too and i get so giddy just indulging in songs that he likes and that remind me of him ehshdhfhef music is great and so is he

he is so important to me and i feel really important to him too jfhjhkfbgjkf i love him sooooo much i feel so safe around him

have i mentioned we've been together for two years and counting btw :3 our anniversary is 04.04.22 best day ever fr

i dont think i could ever nor have i ever looked at somebody the same way i look at him

i could just ramble for houuuurrrssssssssssssss

have i mentioned how much i love him yet because i love him a lot

im going to calm down now ive been typing for a while giggling.... but hes my everything

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Your butterfly Howdy- so so so obsessed!! please tell me you thoughts I love him!! The thought of him simply falling from his chrysalis in a big sopping mess is so real™ , true butterfly moment

i would be Delighted to Talk. i always am. i have many thoughts always about everything. especially This. gonna add a cut so there's not a wall of text on my blog

okay so 1) i don't think he'd give any warning that he's gonna turn into a chrysalis. probably because he wouldn't realize it's happening bc like... those good ol caterpillar instincts took over <3 also it probably made him very very eepy

in his perspective, he took a nap and woke up spontaneously Different. everybody else had to deal with a solid few weeks of him being a chrysalis. and it's not like he was resting inside it - there is soooo much going on in metamorphosis, caterpillars/butterflies Do Not Rest At All

so when he emerges from the chrysalis (as a pathetic wet rag of a man <3) he's just... so out of it. his memory is a little fucky for a bit, he's weak, & he's exhausted to the point where the only time he's awake is to eat (gotta get that energy back!). that's it. he's dead asleep, wakes up, demolishes an entire bowl of fruit, and passes back out. can't even speak coherently.

he slowly gains lucidity until he's functional. he has a small period of time where he's kind of delirious/loopy from an overdose on Sleep, and it's hell on earth for everyone to deal with. i like to think that his main Watchers during this time are Poppy and Barnaby, both bc they're both big enough to wrangle him and bc of obvious reasons. (Poppy is a worrier and Barnaby is in love with Howdy)

when Howdy's loopyness wears off, he's still very tired and a bit spacey, but hey! he reopens the bodega! not that he needs to, since everyone was getting stuff from it anyway. he has a lot of IOU's in the never-used cash register <3 and lots of sweet notes. everyone missed him <3

so for a while when he's functional-but-Exhausted, he's a bit of a grouch. he simply does not have the energy to deal with Shenanigans and Excitement. if anyone walks into the bodega he's basically like "get your shit and get out, thank you, bye". he still sometimes nods off at the counter. eepy eepy bug.

and i don't think he'd really like his new appearance at first? i get the vibes that he Didn't want to pupate OH MY GOD THAT'S THE WORD! I'VE BEEN USING CHRYSALIZE WHICH ISNT EVEN A WORD BC I FORGOT 'PUPATE'. FUCK!, so he was subconsciously putting it off and was able to live for such a long time as a caterpillar.

but oopsie! he lost the battle of biological will! now he's got So Much Fluff and wings and claws and longer antennae and like... he's blue now. that would probably be at least a little unsettling, especially since he didn't realize it was going to happen. also he has to tailor all of his clothes to fit the wings and the Fluff.

plus, i imagine butterfly/moth wings are a Bitch to deal with. they don't fold like bird or bat wings, and they're kinda delicate - though due to Howdy's size, i'm sure they're more durable than a normal butterfly's - so i bet they are Constantly In The Way. (Barnaby probably makes a joke about how "Eddie's supposed to be the clumsy one" after Howdy knocks over a display with his wings for the umpteenth time. cue Barnaby getting kicked out of the store)

it takes a while for Howdy to get them under Control. they'd probably give away ever emotion he has. angry/frustrated? fluttering like crazy. thinking happy/fluffy thoughts or daydreaming? slow opening-closing. sad/pensive? droopy wing cape. stressed/high-strung? closed tight like a book. etc.

(similarly, his antennae are Very expressive! this is not something he can control unless he focuses extra hard. within a week Frank has memorized what each curl and twitch means)

but once Howdy has reconciled with his new appearance & has wrangled his wings, He Is So Fruity And Even More Eccentric. he fell outta that chrysalis and went "im gay now! 🧚‍♂️💅" kidding Kidding. kind of.

idk why, just... i feel like he gets a confidence boost. he realizes hes a Pretty Boy™️. he's like "this is what it must feel like for Eddie when he does drag". he's got that extra fruity Flair yk yk.

and sure, flowers are a little more distracting to Howdy than they used to be, prefers fruit over greenery, and he can't resist taking a short break every day to sun his wings, but other than that things are mostly normal. he's just extra pretty now.

[unlady-like-12-25-36]

Happy Bunny Fest? || Natasha Romanoff x f!Reader

A/n: Happy bday to our loving Tasha bear, who’s also my wife. And if it appears that I've taken down this post before, you're not seeing things, I did because tumblr hates me now 😒 so I reposted it

A/sn: This is written with Fem!reader. If that isn’t what you like do not read. And Plz be aware that it contains smutty content, but overall it's very fluffy. Read at your own risk

Contains: mild cursing, mommy kink, spit kink, a hint of exhibitionism and pet play if you squint. If there’s more, lmk

Translations:

котенок = kitten

Corazon = my heart

-------------- >

It was a bright yet freezing early morning where everything was covered in about 5 inches of snow this year, leaving all the animals asleep for the winter. At the same time, some had already shed their spring coat and grown in their winter fur. Or if it were deer, elk even moose, they would have shed off their antlers. However, for the Avengers, it was an ordinary day at the compound; for once, everyone had a day off, which meant they had the freedom to sleep in. However, with it being Natasha's birthday, Tony had other ideas that led to a lot of grumbling for not letting the rest of the team sleep in for once, except for you and Natasha. And well, someone's got to keep the assassin at bay before Nat's party. I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that, Nat's birthday bash, that Natasha nearly threatened him for weeks to call it off just for making her birthday a big deal.

For those who don't know her well, You'd say she's pretty intimidating, no matter how much you want to deny how gorgeous she is. In reality, she's just someone who's never been shown kindness, love or even just taken a chance on her that's looking past her prickly exterior. And quite frankly, once you have, you'll be able to see that loving, soft yet protective person that she is. Or what you love to call her a bear, your Tasha bear. Well, that's only if you exclude the amount of sass she expresses daily. Fortunately for you, despite the irritability you've encountered when you first met, her life has changed for three and a half years since the day she was brought into Shield., especially during the fall of Shield. And yet, two years ago to today, both of you had officially become an item that led the whole team to let out their reliefs of not having to watch the both of you constantly pinning over each other. Yup, that’s right. You not only met her literally on the day of her birthday but Nat herself scored one with you three and a half years later on her birthday again since that day.

You were trying to soak up as much sleep as possible before Liho came in. Even then, it was short-lived as you started to hear her meowing at you and going as far as lighting tapping her paws on your arm and shoulders at how urgent it was for the sweet black cat to have her breakfast at her designated time. However, with it being your girlfriend's birthday, you didn't want to get up and miss the opportunity to admire her and snuggle her until she woke up. Fortunately, thanks to Tony, he's created a voice-activated feeding machine that produces food for Liho at times like this. But unlike any other cat feeding machines, this can make fresh wet cat food that Liho needs, especially at this time of the year when she's more prone to be dehydrated than usual.

When he made that cat-feeding machine, it surprised everyone since he had expressed his distaste for cats. Little did anyone know, just like Nat, Liho could sneak her way into everyone's hearts even if all it took were her adorable green beady eyes and a soft mew. However, Stark swayed when he was in his lab building one of his inventions just like any other day when he had asked his assistant robot to hand him one of his tools on the ground that was too far for him to leave his invention unattended. Yet, at that moment, as he had described the tool for the robot to get, Liho, who was grooming herself in her little corner of his lab, Liho had picked up the small screwdriver-like tool and brought it to him. But when the robot had not registered that Liho had done the job, it informed him that it was missing. Yet, just before he was ready to fire the robot from its job, Liho tapped her paw on his leg, leaving him pleasantly surprised that the cat did something nice for him. He was even thanking her with cat-friendly treats that he secretly kept around. That is until Natasha finally found Liho in his lab, going off on him for thinking that he was making her own cat turn into one of his robots. Thankfully because of Jarvis, it had shown what happened before she stormed in to get her cat. And even for an apology, he added in his generosity of creating a cat-feeding machine that made fresh wet cat food for Liho. Since then, Liho has never been healthier, no matter how much Natasha loves to deny that what Tony was feeding her wasn't real food.

Although it would be lovely to take a trip on memory lane of everything that had to do with Natasha and her constant antics when it comes to her cat, your mind is focused on all the ways to spoil her. As you had shifted over to Natasha's side to snuggle her, she had seamlessly and subconsciously turned things around with her laying on top of you with her head on your chest. This made you lightly chuckle and kiss the top of her head while running your fingers through her soft red hair. When she finally woke up, Natasha kissed where she could before lifting her head to groggily greet you with a good morning and a passionate make-out session.

"Seems like the birthday girl had a good dream last night", you say with a touch of a smirk on your face.

"I don't know who that might be, but she did say she enjoyed the well-earned rest, especially when it turns into a wet dream," she says in a way that's teasing.

"Well, whoever it might be is a lucky woman." At that moment, Natasha didn't waste any time and crashed her lips to yours while turning you fully on your back so she could straddle you, not once leaving your lips.

"Tasha, it's your day. Let me treat you."

"You're right. It is my day. So what I want is for my darling malyshka to please me. You wouldn't want to disobey me, do you?"

"N-no mommy."

"Good girl. Now be good and let mommy ride that pretty face."

As Natasha had positioned herself just above you, you were pleasantly surprised to see just how wet she was from that wet dream she had. No, she wasn't just wet. She's dripping for you, so much that it was starting to trickle down the inside of her knee. Without hesitation, you licked all that wetness off her legs and up to her core. Yet, as you licked the lips of her core, she shivered in pleasure as if she were electrocuted, only to push herself back down to your mouth. As she did, you started to tease her, licking and sucking anywhere except where she needed it the most. Nipping at the skin inside her thighs that surely leaves marks for weeks.

"Behave котенок. Don't make me upset and punish you."

"Sorry, mommy" with that, you held onto her thighs and ass and ate her out like it was your last meal. You gave her the bonus of lightly nipping at her clit, making her moan your name even louder and gripping your hair as a way to keep you close to her as possible.

"F*ck, y/n just like that!" She says as she now entirely sits on your face and tightly grips the headboard as you deliciously fuck her with your mouth.

At the same time, your room was filled with lewd noises from both of you. And even though both of you had seemingly forgotten to tell Jarvis to turn on soundproofing, none of you seemed to care if the whole team was hearing what was happening in both of your rooms. Even at that moment, just as everything for Natasha's party was set up, the whole team thought it was a good idea to roll in a small breakfast buffet for the both of you. However, not even five feet from your door, they soon realised why it was so easy to set up the party and not constantly worry when Natasha would show up in the middle of preparing like she does every year.

"Yes! Yes! Ah -God! Right there! Rught. There!" She yells, making you plunge two fingers right inside her at a brutal pace while you lick and suck her clit. Thus making her moan even louder for you.

As soon as the team heard a tiny bit of what was happening, they decided to hold off the party until what Tony called your loving sessions, a "bunny fest", was over.

Which, you had to admit, is true. Both you and Nat did have high sex drives, making Steve a lot more grumpy today than any other day because of how much both of you couldn't keep your hands to yourself. Therefore, ruining every piece of his opportunity to have a good time with the team.

Then as you roughly bit at Natasha's clit and thrust your fingers in a particular spot, you made her cum right in your mouth. It even made her squirt all over your face. Still, that didn't stop you from continuously eating her out as you helped her ride out her high. When she had her fill of you, she got off and licked all of her wetness off your face before bringing you in for a kiss with a taste of herself in your mouth. However, before she pulled back, she bit and licked at your lip, asking for entrance. When you complied, your tongue eagerly met with hers, letting her whirl her tongue in your mouth.

"Now that's a good girl." She said when she broke the kiss. She caressed it with her hand, softly holding your cheek and told you to open your mouth. As you obeyed her command, Natasha softly let some of her saliva fall from her lips and into your mouth. And because it was her birthday, she did three times before telling you to swallow. While you had swallowed her saliva, you kept your gaze on her eyes filled with lust. Yet, she dominantly gave you an expectant look.

"What do you say котенок?"

"Thank you, mommy."

"That's what I thought. Let this be your last warning, bunny. I don't like it when my pet disobeys me."

"Yes, mommy, I'm sor-" then, before you could finish your sentence, Tony begrudgingly bangs on the door

"If you're done fucking like bunnies, I suggest not starting again!" He yells through the door, making both of you laugh at how flustered the whole team must be after hearing how good you fucked Natasha.

"F*ck off, Stark! No one told you to listen!" You yelled back.

"I planned a birthday party! Not a kinky party!" With that, he walked away, hoping that was enough to convince both of you to leave the comfort of your bed, no matter how much you were caught up in Nat's lustful gaze.

And yet, much to your dismay, both of you decided that it was best to continue your sex-crazed session later. No matter how much the both of you dreaded Tony's party for Nat, that's been planned for weeks. So before the Maximoff twins get involved again, like last time, you and Natasha rushed your asses through the door.

After the party, both of you had never felt more relieved for it to be over. When both had settled in for the night, you decided now was the best time to give her your gift. When you reached under the bed in your secret compartment, you took her present out and sat next to your girlfriend.

"Happy birthday, Corazon," you say as you hand it to her.

When she ripped the wrapping paper off, it revealed a small black box. When she opened it, it contained a beautiful eccentric pendant that she hadn't seen anything like it before.(the picture of the kind of pendant i was imagining is the one above underneath nat’s suggestive eyebrow raising smirk gif)

"It's beautiful, Detka. Thank you," making her happily cry for the first time since meeting her. While you brought her into your arms and sweetly kissed her.

"This pendant I’m giving you isn't just any ordinary necklace. It's made from my home planet, Pandora, where I'm from, and it's been handed down for generations in my family. So now, wherever you're away, you have a piece of me with you."

"Detka, I- I don't know what to say. Are you sure?"

"For someone who's never been shown love or what it means to be a person and still bounce back to be the best version of yourself, I'd say you're more than worthy of being part of my family - even if they're all gone." You assured her with a loving smile, making her peck your lips once more and press her forehead with yours, enjoying the small, intimate moment among yourselves.

< --------------------

taglist: @natashasnoodle @mrscromanoff @adi06lena

[silent-dragon]

TWST Student OC Profile - Devlin Ether Cepheus

"Above all, I'm just a man." - Noctis Lucis Caelum

Devlin theme song

Personal Info

Name - Devlin Ether Cepheus

Title - Prince Ether

Age - 18

Birthday - 8/30

Zodiac - Virgo

Gender - Male

Species - Human(Partially Shadowblood)

Height - 176cm/5'ft9"in

Eye Color - Sky Blue(Right eye often turns red to yellow)

Hair Color - Midnight Blue

Orientation - Demisexual

Homeland - Kingdom of Ether

Family - ?? - Father

?? - Relative

Twist of Noctis Lucis Caelum from Final Fantasy XV

College Info

School - Royal Sword Academy

Dorm - Crystaleon

Year - 3rd

Best Subject - Ancient Magic,Physical Education

Other Info

Occupation - Prince,Pro Fisher

Favorite Food - Grilled Wild Fresh Fish

Likes - Fishing,Video Games(When Allowed),Chocobos,Pet Animals,Fish,Swimming,Boats,His Car,Assassin Aesthetics,Long Naps

Dislikes - A Certain Bird Mascot,Vegetables,Most Bugs,Being Startled,Snakes,How Quickly He gets Tired,Not Being Allowed to Drive,Foggy Weather,His Past

Talents - Fishing,Weaponolgy,Elemental Magic,Chocobo Racing

Unique Ability 1 - “King's Blade” - Can call upon an assortment of blessed weapons to his hands,only one at a time and once a day. Doing this is extremely exhausting to him so he must nap or sleep right after doing it.

Unique Ability 2 - “End's Call” - If Devlin is ever in danger where his life is seriously at risk,both his eyes will turn glowy red and a random giant monstrosity/humanoid being will appear to shield or escort him away to safety then vanish. Only one has ever been nearly seen but hidden in a thunderstorm,rest are unknown.

Personality - Often withdrawn from most around him unless his close friends or something he is interested in a lot. He holds a lot on his shoulders and rather just ignores it for now and focuses on other things he finds cool. Very laid-back and sleepy as well as he is like a cat. If he can find a place to curl up he will. Is pretty socially awkward and oblivious to random people generally wanting to speak or flirt with him. Can talk about fishing for hours but that can bore quickly if you don't like it too.

Bio - The reckless little prince of Ether. Lover of fishing and time wasting. Father grew a bit annoyed he wasn't doing much back at the kingdom and was gaining too many lazy traits so made him enroll into RSA so that he can maybe gain some better traits and also socialize with those his age. Devlin has already studied a lot given his childhood so isn't taking this too seriously and mostly still just silently vanishing to fish and not talking to anyone much. There are things others do that interest him so he isn't fully uninterested in everything.

Other Notes

As a child for most of his life as one Devlin was bedridden and unable to walk so always was taken around the castle either in a wheelchair or being carried by his caretakers.

While his dorm is technologyless Devlin was raised around smartphones,video games,and tv as a way to keep his mind active when he was bedridden as a child. He rather perish than to not play his mobile gacha/action games so the main reason won't find him at the dorm is cause he elsewhere doing that to not get caught.

Has a ring that often will see him stare at while rotating on his finger. The glare he will briefly give you if notices your looking is spine chilling but also theres a sadness to it.

His right eye is constantly going from sky blue,red,orange,and yellow colors depending on either mood or something else. He doesn't know why it's always been a thing his father said don't worry about it. When Devlin relaxes or is asleep it is his natural blue color.

If he gets severely angry to a point,both his eyes go black sclera with yellow pupils and will see crystal/scale-like pieces form on his arms and face as if he is changing into something else but doesn't finish as body isn't strong enough for whatever is happening and he falls unconscious for days to weeks.

[spookysalem13]

I'm home from work, infected with covid-19, yet again. As an immune compromised person, I'm starting to think covid is in love with me. This is my third infection this year alone.

I'm at the point in my infection where I'm getting worse. The old phrase "it gets worse before it gets better" comes to mind whenever I have covid.

I feel like it starts off mediocre, then you start to feel it and you're like "man this sucks"! That's when covid laughs and hits your harder.

I'm at the stage where my ears are half way plugged. It's becoming increasingly difficult to hear anything. I can't smell anymore, but I can still taste. Though taste is numbed. Nothing is like so delicious anymore it stands out. Everything kind of tastes just average.

My lungs have been burning for days now. But I haven't had a cough until today. Considering I still barely have a cough, that tells me it's still going to get worse.

My fever is so bad I'm drenched in sweat! I continuously randomly fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Due to my fever I'm having fever dreams. Shaking in my sleep even.

This isn't fun, I'm struggling with this infection. My immune system is having a rough time kicking it out.

Once again, they've put me on Paxlovid. The medication used in treating high risk patients, such as myself, for covid-19.

I'm writing all of this, even if no one reads it. Because I personally like to look back at where I was during certain times. Also, for those who do read, and are a part of my spooky community here on tumblr, just know you can probably expect me to posting more this upcoming week, as I will be stuck in bed.

And finally, because I am immune compromised. I have multiple autoimmune diseases as well as a ton of other chronic health conditions. It personally upsets me when people talk about how the pandemic is so called "over" or how covid is "irrelevant" now.

That is so far from the truth. In fact, covid is worse now than it ever was when we were on lockdown. The virus is also stronger now. It's learning to beat our vaccines. Which is why new ones keep immerging.

It's a deadly virus that's constantly mutating, it spreads at a rapid rate, especially during this time of year.

I tell you how my body is handling the virus, even before it hits its peak, so hopefully some more people can understand why this virus is dangerous. Why we must protect the vulnerable like myself. And even everyone for that matter.

One single covid-19 infection leaves life long health implications. We're already seeing it play out.

This virus was supposed to be far more complex than we understand. Please don't take it lightly and don't make jokes. Please take precautions when out in public and remember. The pandemic isn't over.

[straighttohellbuddy]

Okay, I'm always interested in learning more about 'but you're talking in your sleep'. Obviously lvjy song and the mc's/your interest in literature are two important story details. How did you decide to intertwine those? Like, did you read you are jeff and decide to make a fic off of it, or did was it the songs that inspired it? Why did you decide to do both? Idek if this makes sense, tbh. But I'd love to know your though process, in general, regarding that fic.

oh YO this is perfect I love you im gonna ramble for a bit !!

also context; read but you're talking in your sleep (Wilbur/Sister-Innit!Reader)

So initially I was hyperfixated on Pebblebrain when it came out (weren't we all) and my song flavour was Oh Yeah, You Gonna Cry? and the very first idea I had was about the reader and Wilbur being best friends and former FWB after the reader starts dating a fuckboi, which I realised I've already kind of talked about here, but I'm happy to reiterate that the line 'say my name in her sleep/i thought you knew her better than me' and Wilbur just being the cockiest motherfucker without a shred of self awareness that he is very in love with the reader and that's the main reason he hates her boyfriend (who is also just a tool).

the idea to intertwine the lvjy and specifically siken is so unbelievably self indulgent; he's my favourite poet and has been for years, and Litany In Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out has been my favourite poem for a very long time. as for You Are Jeff, i can't remember exactly, but I think I saw the first few lines of the last stanza in like a webweave while I was looking for inspiration and I realised 'you're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell you he loves you, but he loves you' is the most precious, perfect summary of reader & wilbur's dynamic in the fic. this was also the basis of the part of the reader's characterisation where they always used allusions/implications/other people's words when they were afraid of speaking the truth. a few of these moments that i want to point out;

the first one is of course Do I Wanna Know?

literally all of the lyrics for this song. i tried to pick a few but holy shit all of this song -- the first time the song's mentioned when it's Y/N's karoke choice and then immediately calling Wilbur right after they'd chosen it I think the key lyrics are; 'Have you no idea that you're in deep? / I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week / How many secrets can you keep? / 'Cause there's this tune I found / That makes me think of you somehow an' I play it on repeat / Until I fall asleep, spillin' drinks on my settee

the second time the song is mentioned is when Y/N and Wilbur go out to a pub with his flatmates in brighton and she starts humming it when they head to his bedroom, and it's just the whole second verse; So have you got the guts? / Been wonderin' if your heart's still open / And if so, I wanna know what time it shuts / Simmer down an' pucker up, I'm sorry to interrupt / It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of tryin' to kiss you / I don't know if you feel the same as I do / But we could be together if you wanted to

the one that personally might break my fucking heart that Y/N is very familiar with Jubilee Line, which is already a fucking bleak song especially since she lives in London, and later has some implications about how if she didn't leave London she was going to jump in front of a train, but there's a little moment in the first chapter when she's on the phone with Wilbur right before she decides to come visit him --  “I’m everywhere. My mind’s everywhere. The walls shout back, I didn’t realise they could do that, or start the argum- I’m not making sense. I’m sorry.” -- it's such a blink and you'll miss it allusion but she's making a point to hide the truth she knows about Mark and her relationship by reference Jubilee Line and the lyrics 'shout at the walls because the walls don't fucking love you'.

In the final part, when Wilbur comes to pick up Y/N from the french cafe, and she's quietly moved by how much he cares about her in a way other people in her life seem not to -- before turning and beaming at him, thanking him again for coming all this way, adding that he didn’t need to worry; ‘no cause for concern’ is how you worded it, deliberate. -- Because 1) 'We ain't gonna hurt you' but also, as much as there is a more romantic final chorus to that song, she is also like 'you could knock the wind out of my breath / you could knock the teeth out of my head / and still it's no cause for concern' like she loves this boy who drove to another country for her, he can do whatever he wants forever in her books.

and one other one off the top of my head is the fact that the name she'd hidden Wilbur as in her phone is Pandora as a reference to the text conversation when they'd reconnected, yes, but also because He Gives Her Hope.

and now, on this already long post, im going to talk about the lovejoy lyrics that were "inspired" by Y/N in the fic (when its really the other way around)

Sex Sells gets an in-canon one; But the song he’d written about how Mark doesn’t love you he just loves that you’re his, that you hate him but you keep going back to him for reasons Wilbur still doesn’t fully understand, and now on top of it all you know that Wilbur can’t stop fucking thinking about it, about you, even when he’s trying to sleep? It’s accurate, and everything tastes like ash in his mouth for several bitter moments. How’d it go again? How’s it feel to be so loved, yet so alone? He’s got his answer, can hear it in your sobs as you sit on the steps of your boyfriend’s apartment two hours away.

So lets go through Pebblebrain

Oh Yeah, You Gonna Cry? is obviously a huge one lol, with a lot of what i drew Fucking Mark from;

You got the same eyes as your father / And you carry the same kind of temper too / But what a shame for the people of the community -- which ties directly in with another of the songs i'll get to, and this line from a flashback; “It’s a good school, though, I’m glad I got in, and Mark, he’s- he’s really sweet. It’s brave of him to move, even though I’m on campus and he’s not; none of his family’s lived outside of Nottingham for generations,” the face you’re making is close to a smile, to anyone else they might mistake it as such, but there’s a wrinkle in the bridge of your nose, a tightness at the edge of your smile, “he’s training to go into the same line of work as his dad, he’s just glad he can do it here,” you laugh, but there’s no humour in it.

But I quite like your girlfriend! / How the fuck 'd she end up with you? -- i think this speaks for itself

And she told me that she fuckin' hates you -- regarding the moment; Later, he’ll ask the question that’s been plaguing him, ask if you even like your boyfriend. Later, you’ll be wrapped up in his sheets, stretched out on his bed as your whole face scrunches like you’ve bitten a lemon, and he’ll have no idea what you mean when you tell him that that hasn’t mattered in a very long time.

the whole song is about Mark in this fic. the whole song. i love it so much.

Model Buses could also be arguably about Mark in some respects but I've held myself back from putting that thought into the fic.

I don't think Concrete has any real connections to the fic either, however.......

PERFUME, BAYBEEEEEEE

in the context of the fic, it's written mostly after the reader goes home from brighton after their affair with wilbur where they're clearly in love with each other and he's struggling to deal with that in a healthy way by writing the song. i could add analysis for LITERALLY EVERY LINE but i wont. just know it's all Y/N

It's 3:45 (AM) / And I just bite my tongue / Update me on your life / And now you've found the one / But I don't like his eyes -- hence his building almost resentment whenever they call him when drunk and insisting that mark's not as bad as he seems

And I can still smell her perfume -- because it's on his damn pillows.

You say your ex-boyfriend's a policeman / Well, I say you need better standards -- you remember how i said a line in OYYGC links to another song, well it's this, now, because with Y/N talking about Mark training to go into the same field as his dad, we also get this reveal, despite not drawing attention/connecting it to the earlier mention of Mark's chosen career being the same as his dad's; “Mark’s dad’s been chief of police in our town for as long as I can remember,” Tommy says with a sigh.

Why can't you be a dick? / Why must you be so nice? / It's hard for me to move on / When I don't really hate you / (I don't really hate you) -- this one's a lot of things, it's Wilbur fully acknowledging that he should not be cool with Y/N cheating emotionally and physically on her partner but still making peace with it despite the turmoil the situation has caused him. it's also him kind of frustrated at how despite Y/N rightfully calling him out for writing such a spiteful song as Sex Sells, they didn't take it as badly as they could have, and so he acknowledges that he doesn't actually believe what the song is saying about them. it's ALSO a deliberate echo of this moment; “I wish I could hate you more for this, but I don’t,” you mumble, soft and a little forlorn, heart not in your words as his aches. He should have kept that song to himself, like his gut had told him to.

You'll Understand When You're Older is an interesting one because I appreciate the actual meaning of the song a lot, but i also like adding my own to it, so the context here is it's half inspired by the Y/N situation and half by current events;

It must be nice to be the reason / His work, it ain't so bleak / That must be what motivates you -- there's spite here as he considers how little Mark appreciates Y/N and her love and kindness, with the veiled implication of 'if Wilbur were in Mark's situation these lyrics would be sincere'.

All he needs is to see you smiling / And well, you light up his whole week -- that implication and subtext moves straight up to text here. Wilbur is just talking about himself here.

Imagine thе kind of things he'd do to you / If there wеren't so many cameras -- calling back to their almost moment when Y/N had sat in on Wilbur's stream in brighton, refusing to reveal their identity;

“If you’ve got something to say,” insufferably smug, he watches you puff out your cheeks. Averting your gaze, you flip him off, hand in frame for the camera to see, “sook,” he teases, “just say what’s on your mind.” For a moment, your mouth drops open as if you’re about to say something, to call his bluff, but your gaze flicks to his webcam. What’s on my mind, you mouth pointedly when you look back to him; something about your expression has turned bashful for reasons he can’t quite fathom. You glance quickly at the camera again before shaking your head, you wish, you mouth, but can’t quite look him in the eye. There’s a serious moment where he considers ending the stream, because this feels like it could be a moment, a chance. He’s a hypocrite, he can’t begin to say what’s on his mind, won’t give himself the chance, getting back to his stream after another brief moment and a deep breath.

and of course;

And you're keeping a dark secret / But you're talkin' in your sleep -- Y/N loves Wilbur, not her longterm boyfriend. wilbur knows this because she talks in her sleep. <3

The Fall again isn't relevant.

and finally, in the fic, a lot of the lyrics and vibes were completed not too long after Y/N and Wilbur reconnected, before Are You Alright was even released, but Wilbur will never in his life (in this fic lol) admit that It's All Futile! It's All Pointless! was a heartbreaking hybrid of his own feelings/experiences, and kind of who Y/N had become in the two years since they'd seen each other, also what he had seen a little bit of after she reconnected with Mark when she and Wilbur had first met, while wilbur still tries to act like he's not in love with her. but it is, and he is.

HOLY SHIT OKAY THATS SO MANY WORDS but also a lot of that ive been holding onto for SO LONG and im so glad i got the chance to talk about it. seriously anything else abt the fic you wanna talk about because I love it TO DEATH. every day i fight the urge to explain the entire 46 song fic playlist. i lov u.

[jokeboy]

babbling to the void

It's been almost two years since one of the shitter times in my life and I've gone through the therapizing, the medications, the breathing exercises, etc, but I cannot for the life of me find peace with it. It's been years. I haven't been able to talk to people since. I can't make friends. I'm paranoid. And I bring these things up during therapy time but I don't get anywhere with it. Early on in the healing process, I told myself I wouldn't dawdle on the silly stuff like anger or self-pity or anything like that but now I'm in the late stages where my grief has morphed into the seven-headed beast that slithers into my dreams and reminds me that I will never be able to trust people again.

Slightly off topic but after my friend died in 2017 I used to have dreams about her (this only stopped within the last year or so) where I would find her on the street, or at school, or she'd post something new on Instagram or something.. I'd wake up thinking she was still alive and then I'd relive her death all over again. This was multiple times a week. They weren't nightmares but they hurt me all the same. Anyway I finally stopped having those dreams after her brother died, and now that I don't dream about her anymore it feels like she died again. This isn't really important to the above stuff but it ties into why I can't heal from the above in some way, but I haven't quite figured it out yet.

I started having dreams about that situation too, and in the dreams of course everything is solved with a hug and an "I love you stop doing this to me we loved each other just remember already". These used to come to me every night, and slowly they've come to a close, but maybe once every other week or so I'll dwell on a memory for too long and it'll come to visit me when I fall asleep. Always painful. Always makes me want to die.

So mid 2021 I started smoking a LOT of weed LOL and that took the edge off of this. It still does. It kills my dreams too. It starts getting loud in my head and it's like yeah I just need to get high so I can forget about all of this. But after a year of smoking constantly to forget now I... can't really remember anything at all. My memory of the past 2 years is hazy. It wasn't even a bad two years. I just can't remember any of it. I feel like a shell of myself and I know that's just what continual heavy drug use does but if I don't do the drugs then I have to think and if I have to think then all I'm going to think about is abandonment, betrayal, heartbreak and killing myself. Like come on man. I'm 24. This should be over by now

I'm too old, too kind, too sweet, and too loveable to feel like this anymore. It's not kind to ezra to think about hurting myself. But I do. And ezra loves it, I love it, we love it together, we fantasize about going on the journey together, but I also made a promise early into this that I wouldn't hurt myself over this. Kinda failed that one. Drug use isn't not self harm. i don't know. heavy and loud and sad and empty inside of me sometimes.

Wish I knew if learning to hate these people would fix me. But the only person I've ever truly hated is my mother and after she died and I began to piece together that I never held anything for her besides contempt, it's made it harder to hate others. I can't hate anyone like I hated her. I can't even get close. I don't hate the people that abused me. I don't even hate my dad. Just her. Wish I could hate more so I could feel less.

So many people have tried to befriend me since this too and I've failed every single one of them. Every time I don't respond to a DM I feel so fucking guilty it could swallow me. It's just so hard to approach people now. I'm all twisted up and weird. Overall very happy though. just still drowning. lonely. everyone I loved died and then the rest of them turned on me over shit that was out of my control. It's 2 years later. I do have new people in my life. people that treat me right. and I do love them. why is that not enough? what's missing? what's wrong with me

[urfavouritegirlie]

Chapter 2

(part 2)

Now millions of questions where going off in Miles' head. He wanted to know more about 'aunt' Maya. Mainly to jog his memory

"Can you tell me more about her. How did you meet?"

This peaked his uncles intreats. It was long road down memory lane.

"We went to the same high school. Manhattan high school in the 90s. She was a sophomore and I was in senior year. She had moved from a different school from a different state."

YEAR 1995

It was senior year for Aaron Davis. The final year of high school. Here we have an 18 year old Aaron with a short fade with a line cut on the side. He walks through the hallways of school to his locker with his bag drapped over one shoulder. He looked really tired that morning. Why? Must of been the petty crimes he was committing at night. It's not like he had much of a choice. He did it to survive. Living in the projects of Manhattan with a brother who was now working and a single mom who works the entire day was hard. Even harder if the place is constantly running with crime.

He and his brother Jeff were recently involved in this life of crime in order to put food on the table, heat in apartment and to prevent their mother from worrying about bills too much. Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard if their good for nothin father didn't bail on them at a young age. They mainly took part in stealing and scamming. They would steal and sell things to people or dealers. Their mother didn't know that because she would work long hours during the day or night

"Yoo Aaron man where was you last night? You missed a heck of party man. There were some of those chicks form the other school."

"Oh for real?" He answered back completely sounding uninterested. This is his friend, Dion. He's very loud and enthusiastic. He calls himself a ladies man. He's just goofy as hell.

The bell rung and it was time to go to class. The two guys went to class in different classes. Aaron had Maths class first and sat at the back next to the window. He could just sit there and daydream whilst the teacher was talking.

"Ladies and gentlemen, make sure you revise this weekend for the maths exam. This is just a test until the real exam. Remember this is your final year. See you next week."

And with that class was dismissed. Aaron collects his stuff and walks out last. He walks back to his locker. He is literally on the verge of falling asleep. That is until he hears a sweet voice behind him. He turns and sees a girl. This wasn't just some girl. He was pretty sure this kind of girl was every guys dream. She was just so damn beautiful.

"Excuse me could you help me find my next class room. I have a business class."

He was completely mesmerised by her beauty. She had silk pressed hair that looked wavy with a side parting. She wore a plain white t-shirt with a baseball jacket on top. She wore skinny jeans and some white high top sneakers. To top it off she had gold hoop earrings. He finally snapped out it. It was time to pull out his best side. He takes a deep breath. He swiftly raises his hand and puts it on Her shoulder.

"Hey. Yeah sure I'll show you, if you give me your name." He said with a smirk. She gave a shy smile and looked away. It was so cute Aaron could melt.

"I'm Maya."

"Names Aaron. You got a cute name Maya."

She giggles and has a faint blush on her cheeks. He takes his arm back and walks her to business class but takes the longer route so he could talk to her longer. At one point Dion calls him from down the hall. He looks back and waves him off. He smoothly puts his arm around her shoulder. Dion takes the hint and leaves him be. They arrive to the class on time.

"Thanks for showing me my class Aaron."

"I guess I'll see you later. After school maybe?"

"Sure."

"I'll meet you by the entrance."

And with that he walks away to meet up with Dion for gym class. As he entered the boys locker room it went quiet. He looks up and all the guys a looking at him. That doesn't stop him from moving to his locker.

"What are y'all looking at?"

"What's her name?" Somebody asks.

"That ain't your business."

"Aww come on man. I'm tryna tap that. She look fine as hell. I could put a ring on it too. Damn she can have my children." Dion makes his way through the crowd. Aaron turns and gives him a disgusted look. Dion puts his hands up as defence.

"Look man she ain't just some piece of meat to be passed around. I'm sure she's to good for that. Beside I'm meeting with her after school."

This had the guys all hollering about how lucky he was, how he was the man. Of course I am.

Now Aaron was waiting at the entrance for Maya. A bunch of student walk past him then he sees her come out and down the short stairs.

"Hey.”

He raises his arm and places it around her shoulder. She smiles up at him.

“Hi.”

To be honest Maya liked it. She had a sense of protection around him. They take a walk around and he takes her to a pizza place where most of the students hang out after.

"Let me buy you a slice."

"Are you sure."

"100%"

To say she was flustered was an understatement. She was in the clouds. From that moment, it was him and her. They stared dating after a few months. He was happy and she was happy. Aaron had money so he brought her gifts. At one point he gifted her a necklace with his name on it. It was gold and in cursive writing. She never questioned it and just accepted the gifts.

Few months after that Aaron introduced her to his mom and older brother. She liked her from the start. She called her the daughter she wanted but never had. Aaron was happy with the interaction between the two ladies. Jeff said you the sibling he wanted teasing Aaron. You all laughed and Aaron shrugged it off. When she went back home his mom talked to Aaron.

"She's a nice girl Aaron. Better than those exes of yours. You better not mess this up."

He looked at his mom with a smile. "Yes ma'am."

He was about to walk away to his room when his mom says "And wear a condom for goodness sake. I don't want another pregnancy scare."

He hangs his head low and leaves with a quiet "Yes ma'am."

[hansoheeglobal]

Han Sohee's Bra Top Shows Off Her Charm by Wearing Red Tights and High Jewelry.

Han Sohee's bra top shows off her charm by wearing red tights and high jewelry.

Q. You've had a lot of overseas schedules lately and been staying in Paris for a week. What do you do when you go to a city other than Seoul?

A. I'm a total lodging person, so I spend most of my time in the room or taking a walk around the neighborhood. When I look at the night view of the city through the window before falling asleep, I feel like I am realizing that I am overseas. I try to get a good night’s sleep because I tend to recover my condition easily as long as I get a good night’s sleep.

Q. This time, you witnessed the presentation of the ‘Carte Blanche’ collection at Maison Boucheron located in Place Vendôme.

A. I couldn't believe it was designed during a time when I was depressed due to Corona, so the color and shape felt experimental. Not only silver or gold, but I was able to see jewelry in a variety of colors. There were designs that naturally melted in everyday life, but the jewelry with bold designs that became a point are especially memorable.

Q. After several photo shoots with〈Bazaar〉, Han Sohee's bright and radiant face was published on the paper. It was your first photoshoot after becoming an ambassador for Boucheron. What was the experience like?

A. Each cut has a different concept, so it's one shot, but I feel like I've been together for many moments. It was a very impressive experience as it seemed that I tried an active and bold production suitable for jewelry in the photo shoot.

Q. Jewelry makes you feel great the moment you wear it. What would be your favorite piece of jewelry?

A. Since I enjoy wearing dresses, I often wear necklaces that can be layered. I especially like vintage earrings. Even if you wear the same clothes and are in the same place, you can change your mood with just one piece of jewelry. Actually, I don't think my hands are pretty, so I usually wear earrings or necklaces depending on my mood that day. I also use ear cuffs when wearing casual clothes.

Q. Youfinished filming seasons 1 and 2 of the Netflix series <Gyeongseong Creature> not too long ago from last year. You took on the role of Yoon Chaeok, a todukun (a person who searches for missing people) who is in danger of survival while crossing Manchuria and Shanghai. What did you prepare for by playing this role for a long time?

A. Although I was attracted to the background of Gyeongseong, I think I was greatly attracted to the character Yoon Chaeok, who lived in that era more fiercely than anyone else. While acting, the most difficult thing is to find an intersection with her while living a whole day or two as the character. It's my biggest homework. This time again, I was absorbed in finding that point.

Q. In works such as Nabi in <Nevertheless> and Jiwoo in <My Name>, you also revealed that you've been playing characters who are far from a flat life, but this work must not have been easy either. Is there anything new you realize as you work? Do you think you are getting better?

A. I constantly doubt myself. Rather than the concept of progress and retreat, I think more about whether I can make myself not ashamed of the word "acting"

Q. Many people who have met Han Sohee often refer to expressions such as ‘unintelligible facial expressions’ or ‘cool aura’. Have you ever wondered why?

A. It wasn't my own intention, but it seems like people appreciate my unique appearance. (Laughs)

Q. What do you do when you want to get out of the way people want to see Han Sohee?

A. In fact, fans know many different sides of me, but I want to show a lot of comfortable sides to those who don't know.

Q. Blogs are the places where those human aspects are shown the best. In an interview with <Bazaar> 3 years ago, I remember saying that when life is tiring, it is more comforting to calmly tell about everyday life that is no different from you rather than baseless optimism which “everything will be fine.” How's the pretty tricky rule climbing club you revealed in your October post last year maintained?

A. Me and my friends seem to have no sense of time. I didn't see her, just talking and leaving.

Q. Looking at a recent post with a 220 size foot picture, I guess you have your own way of getting close to people. When I read the blog post, I thought I could understand what kind of person you are.

A. There's no other way, but when I feel like I want to get closer, I act first. Most of the time, I tend to approach people who can share my honest thoughts and attitudes.

Q. You also upload drawings of plants and bodies. What do you think about when you are painting?

A. I don't draw with intent or purpose. When I wake up without thinking, I tend to draw anything with an oil paste.

Q. There was a time when you said that you wanted to shoot a movie yourself. In a recent advertisement video, it became a hot topic by showing a scene paying homage to director Park Chanwook's film.

A. I like movies with primary colors and mise-en-scène. I really like director Park Chanwook's films, so while filming, I paid homage to numerous works and thought a lot about whether I would fit in well.

Q. What kind of story will the movie Han Sohee make someday be?

A. The story of a weak character who is not good at sports.

Q. What are some guidelines or truths in life that you engrave now or always?

A. ‘Life is fleeting. However, we are living in the present and are only beings that will disappear later. I think that it is enough to be grateful for what is given, not greedy, and just live.”

Q. You entered 30s by accepting changes more actively than anyone else. What does 30 mean to you?

A. I only think that the first digit has changed.

Q. How would you like to spend this time?

A. Although the image of myself that I hoped for is becoming vague, I always want to throw myself into the given work and spend it without regret.

Note: it's a rough trans so expect a lot of translation error.

[qqueenofhades]

How do you find the energy to do what you enjoy doing (your job, studying/learning, your blog, reading, writing)? I'd love to do more things I Enjoy (reading and writing in particular) but I feel like I'm always too tired to do them after everything else life demands of me.

Hmm. For one, I have just started my job (aka this is the end of my first week), so I don't have a long-term sense on how that's going to go and how much time/energy it will take, but I definitely plan to keep doing everything I like to do in the meantime. For example, I have a set block of time for reading (from about 8pm-10pm every night, though recently I have been falling asleep at 9:30 like the old person that I am), and I know that those couple hours are set aside for reading-in-bed time, which is one of the great joys of life. So even if I'm tired after a long day, I still always have time to do that, because it's part of my routine and it doesn't take more energy.

As for writing: I started when I was seven years old and have never stopped since, so I will always find time to write no matter what else is going on in my life. I wrote some absolutely massive-length fanfics (we're talking 200k-400k each) even while I was working my ass off in my PhD program, because it's just what I like to do and I'm naturally wired to do it. Now that I'm working full-time, my writing time will probably move mostly or only to weekends, but it will still happen then, because I just gotta do it. I'm an academic, so studying/learning is built into my work time, and is something that I also regularly do because of years of practice/training to do it.

I think also a part of it is getting older and being both more certain of what you like and having more sense of when and how you are going to do it. Your twenties are so chaotic, and you're still figuring out who you are and what you're doing and constantly worrying about what other people think of you. That doesn't go entirely away in your thirties, but you're definitely more yourself and more settled in your preferences/abilities/knowledge about life in general. In my case, finally getting on long-term medication for anxiety/depression has absolutely helped me to function without being totally burned out and exhausted, and helps me stick to a routine more easily. So yeah, it's a combination of factors: age, practice, habit, prioritizing what you want to do, making a schedule, and being more confident in what your life looks like and how. After all, my life has been an absolute garbage shitshow in terms of predictability or reliability until recently, but doing things that I enjoy helped me make at least some sense of it, and now I'm here, where I gotta figure it out all over again, but at least in a place of more stability. So yeah. Good luck!

[notegodeath]

do you have any tips for boosting word count in a meaningful way? i feel kind of sad when i write a 3k that'd take a few weeks (if i'm lucky) then see someone's output on ao3 be more consistent and with more count to boot. qq

i think obviously the biggest piece of advice i should give is not to care. in an ideal world, it doesn’t matter if someone writes faster, or more words than you, everyone goes at their own pace, and does what they can, and yada yada etc etc. that doesn’t really work in practice, and i know it, so if you wanna write longer, and write faster i do have a few tips that can help. (and ofc all of these pertain to my style and my experiences, and someone else would prob have different opinions)

1 one of the best ways to bolster your word count, and one of the things i see most constantly overlooked in a lot of fics is a character’s thoughts. actions and dialogue are good for keeping the plot moving, they’re helpful, everybody loves them, but what really fascinates me is the why those actions and dialogues are happening. maybe it’s the theatre kid in me, but one of the things i always start with once i have a plot is character motivations, and how they feel, and react to everything happening internally as well as externally, and by working through those processes on paper it can both make your fics longer, and make your characters feel more three dimensional

2 on that same note, having an actual outline can really help too. a lot of the time, i just kinda wing it, i won’t lie, but even in my head there’s some sort of outline of what’s going on, and the times when ive transferred that to paper have been, in my opinion, some of my best works (and my longest, too). if you know what’s happening in a story before it happens, you can more purposefully control things like pacing, as well as include foreshadowing if you’d like, and it provides more room to think about why things are happening, rather than the fact that they just kind of are, and this depth of understanding allows you to better flesh out your works

3 this one is gonna seem really obvious in theory, but in practice it might not be, at least for me. one of the best things you can do is just read. read, and read some more, and, you guessed it, fucking read some more. read works of characters you like, to get ideas on how you want to portray them, read works on characters you don’t like, so you know what you don’t want to do, read works that have nothing at fucking all to do with what your writing because i guarantee you that you’ll find some kind of inspiration in them. also, read actual fucking books. don’t just read fanfiction, read real life, published books, by authors who do this for a living. that doesn’t mean you have to just read grimy classics that’ll make you fall asleep, there’s a lot of new books being published all the time and some of them are very good, but read something original, with substance, and that you’ll enjoy. my friends and i have a book club where we pick out a book each month, read it, and then we meet up and discuss it, this month we’re reading jurassic park, which obviously isn’t shakespeare, so just read something that isn’t fanfiction sometimes (and if you can, talk about it with someone)

4 this’ll be my last one i promise, but something i feel like mentioning is that it’s important to remember that everyone is different, be it in circumstance, motivation, free time, abilities, etc. not everyone can write like someone else, but guess what? that’s fine! chances are, that author that’s cranking out fics on ao3 either has a lot of free time, and that’s what they like to do with it, or that’s what they do to destress, and so they do it a lot. to this end, and this goes for all artistic pursuits, be it music, writing, visual arts, performance arts, etc, you don’t need to compare yourself to others. you want to, and it’s impossible not to, but at the end of the day you’re you, and they’re them, and you’re different people with different perspectives, abilities, and lives. it can be good to find motivation in other people’s works, i do that a lot, but letting it turn into a sort of negativity hinders more than it helps, i promise (also, they prob have more experience than you, whether you can see that experience or not, so just write more, it’ll come to you i promise)

[whythewords]

Where I am

So I did end up taking the "scheduled time" approach. Its essentially just making sure that I wake up at a reasonable hour and devote a good amount of time (at least an hour each) to working out, applying for jobs and playing guitar. I've ended up putting more than an hour into the jobs and the guitar stuff each day which is good. My sleep was getting better but last night I had another bout of fighting my sleep and then not falling asleep until close to 4am. This can't stand. I don't want to keep getting "regular" and then undoing all of my progress in a single night.

There are certainly still some kinks to work out, but...it's getting better. Doing the all-important and productive tasks of exercising, job-searching and practicing music stuff have certainly helped to take away the guilt of unproductiveness that was a dull fog over the last couple of weeks since my return. Knocking them out in the mornings is especially nice as I'll tend to close out with some guitar and end up noodling for a few hours more just because I have the time, or even throw on a movie or show or a video game. All of that stuff tends to fill me with guilt if I haven't done anything I perceive as "productive" that day. So far this little routine is doing well to eliminate that.

I'm happy to say I'm getting a little traction from the job search already. A few pokes from some recruiters and I already have an interview set up for a gig this week. Those little things do a lot for my confidence and give me the drive to keep at it. I knew it was important to keep applying for jobs as if there were no fish on the line whatsoever, if anything to constantly make sure that if one thing doesn't go well, a new thing isn't far behind. It also instills confidence that this inevitable chain reaction I'm trying to set off can potentially be done much sooner that I thought: Get the job, save the money, look at places, get a place, finally move out. And I'm just now looking at that sentence and thinking about that sentiment as a whole and how dead set I've been on it for the last little while...and how it has absolutely zero trace of the pursuit or preparedness for a romantic relationship. Makes me wonder where I'm at with that and of course I revisit the idea of dismissing those thoughts altogether until I've actually moved out and moved on from my folks' place. At the same time, as much as I hate to say it, I am beginning to feel like browsing through the dating apps every so often these days is proving to be a somewhat healthy distraction to keep me hopeful and keep my gaze away from the past. I've adjusted my profiles slightly to make it clear that my dating goals are, well, unclear. Probably not gonna do much for me in the matching department but, that doesn't really seem to be the main purpose of keeping these apps around anymore. Right now they're seemingly better at an arm's length, and if something happens, it happens. That's the sort of relationship I always strived to have with the apps anyway.

The other thing I'm using this time for is going on what I'm calling a "friendship tour." There are a handful of people I've gotten to see relatively frequently over the last few months, but other friends I have not been fortunate enough to catch up with in quite some time, some pre-pandemic. So I've been making a bunch of plans and getting to spend some much needed time with some people I've missed dearly. Had a nice catch-up sesh with my friends Scott and Mel just this past weekend which was really nice. It reaffirmed the whole thing about friends you haven't seen in a while and being able to pick up right where you left off. That, to me, is a pretty clear mark of a strong bond and I always try to remember to count myself lucky that I have those kinds of people in my life.

Tomorrow I'll be seeing my pal Matt and I'm happy to say we've nailed down an unspoken yet semi-regular schedule of catching up every couple of months. We've had grand plans to collaborate again on some more music projects for what seems like forever, and those haven't really come to fruition yet, but I'll take the opportunity just to catch up with him and his fiancee because ultimately that's the most important thing.

And this coming Saturday I'll be seeing yet another couple that I used to work with over 10 years ago. They hosted a killer halloween party that I used to go to every year. As of now, we haven't seen each other face-to-face since before the pandemic. I always knew these types of relationships were important but I still feel like I may have been taking them for granted for a number of reasons. Just being sort of blind to the folks outside of my own relationships, pandemic isolation, all of this stuff has mentally boosted the importance of these different friendships and also just social interaction in general. Speaking of which, the following weekend I'll be playing at an open mic event hosted at my brother's store in Scarborough. I've been looking more into open mics and other gigs and just general ways to get out of the apartment and out of my comfort zone again. I feel like I've mentioned this before, but there was a sort of magic to when I first moved out to the city about a decade ago and I was on my own just finding places to play and talking to strangers a hell of a lot more often. I feel like it would be good to bring that energy with me to my own locale as there's still a lot of places I haven't been even though I grew up here. That mentality also feels like a little bit of the thrill of Japan rubbing off on me.

Told you it made me a better person. Yet another reason to go back some day.

In the meantime, I'm gonna keep trying to make the most of where I am, literally, figuratively, emotionally, spiritually....

...yeah.

All that shit.

[universallychaoticpan]

can I ask for hcs (or oneshot, whichever one you wanna do) of aizawa x asexual reader? aizawa gives me vibes of totally being down for no sex in a relationship. like the reader is an underground hero from america and they bump into each other one night and sorta become chill bffs then slowly evolves into a chill romantic relationship with no sex, just cuddles and taking down villains/protecting 1a together

sorry this is sorta specific, I've just had this idea bouncing around in my head for awhile

For sure! I love this idea sm, especially since I can see Aizawa being on the Asexual spectrum himself. I did a bit of both and it's my first time doing headcannons, so I hope you enjoy. <3

You're definitely a friends to lovers case- you transferred from the US for a few months and ended up being invited to teach a class at UA while you were there. Naturally, that's where you met Aizawa.

You fought well together, especially since you were both underground/stealth heroes.

Mic and midnight adored you, really. Because of them, he ended up seeing more and more of you; and he wasn't mad. He liked how you didn't seem to need to be the loudest in the room, and how you could make him laugh under his breath like no one else.

He panicked a bit when he realized his feelings for you were more than platonic- since he didn't feel attracted to you the way he'd always been told he was 'supposed' to.

The first time he kissed you was outside your apartment after a few drinks. You tease him constantly for the uncharacteristic blush on his cheeks when he'd tried to explain just how he felt about you.

Had a sit down conversation about your mutual lack of interest in sex; after that, it was all over.

It's no secret Aizawa has either no sleep schedule or an extremely inconsistent one. And even if yours isn't the best either, he finds that sleeping next to you helps a lot, so he finds his sleep quality improving whenever you're close.

SLEEPING IN. If you have nowhere to be, best be sure you two are in bed half the day. You don't even have to be sleeping; in fact, most of the time you aren't. You'll talk or just lie there in comfortable quiet.

If he wakes up first, he'll brush your hair away from your face before you wake up; his movements are so methodical and skilled you don't ever wake up.

I like the idea that after missions, you'll take care of any wounds or bruises that need attention before you fall asleep next to each other. Most nights like those, you end up sleeping on top of him on the couch.

Hands on the small of your back, fingers intertwined under tables, etc. You don't need to go out of your way to be draped all over one another - in fact, you're both averse to the very notion. But you'd be liars if you said you didn't enjoy being just close enough that he could wrap his arm around your waist or rest his hand atop yours. It's sweet, simple, and wonderful.

Knows exactly how you like your coffee/tea if you drink it.

///

Somewhere far from the walls of your bedroom, class 1-a was off enjoying their self made Sunday chaos. But in the confines of your apartment, under the cool comfort of your clean sheets, you could care less about anything. Stroking your kitten's soft ears, you leaned your head on Aizawa's shoulder as he ran his thumb along the place where your neck met your jaw. He pressed his lips to the top of your head as you sighed, sleepily curling into the strong expanse of his side.

"You know, we're gonna have to get up eventually-"

"No," you mumbled. "I'm staying here and you're staying here and we're not moving all day. We deserve it after looking after the menaces all week."

He chuckled and slid his hand down, poking at your side and making you squeal with laughter while you tried to shy away from his assault. "Fine but you're a menace yourself, you know."

"You love me," you replied, head cocked to the side as your voice took on a teasing tone. "You love me so you're going to stay here with me all day."

He rolled his eyes but smiled down at you nonetheless. "I know what you're doing, y/n; we have to get your things in order. When do you go back-"

"No."

He lifted your face, noting how your eyes were now sadder than they had been before.

"Not yet." They fluttered as they closed. "Don't talk about it yet, please. I just want to make the most of my time while I still have it." Your head tilted so slightly, softly smiling as you thought about the sleepy, gentle time you could savor as long as you ignored what was waiting back home. "My time with you where I can hold hands with you and not have the media coming up with theories about whether or not I'm sleeping with you or anyone else. As soon as I go back, this- it all changes. It wont be ours anymore as soon as I leave."

He didn't say it, but you both knew it regardless; your impending return to America loomed over both of you like a guillotine. Talking about it made it real- you didn't want that any more than he did, but it was coming and coming fast as the end of August drew near. And when you got back, the endless questions about the nature of your relationship would hit you full force. Whatever you had now, you were right- it wouldn't be so easy after you left.

"I wasn't expecting to fall in love while I was here you know." Your teary eyes were soft as you smiled now, open and warm as they looked at him, voice once again slightly teasing. "You are the worst, Shouta Aizawa, making me fall for you. I was supposed to come here as an ambassador, then head back to the states with no issues. And now I'll have to figure out how to live alone again until I can get back."

He laughed again, bringing your face towards his own to kiss you softly. "Well, if I'm the worst, at least it means you won't vanish once you leave.

You'll come back."

You would; you would find your way back to him, back to Japan, back to the life you had put together there. You had come alone, but you wouldn't leave that way. You would fly over the horizon and leave half your soul waiting for you to come back.

You would leave soon, and you would take half of his heart with you when you did.

It was alright, though; you'd never broken a promise to him since he met you. So he would believe you would come back as soon as you were gone.

As soon as you were gone, he would think about this feeling; where you didn't need the sex or the nightlife or anything more than arms around each other while you hid from the day under your sheets.

That could be your whole world for just a little longer.