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#and it's like if I'm gonna be out by myself I might as well have done this whole thing alone
cotl-flower-crown · 9 hours
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Going on hiatus*
*Well, kinda.
Hey, I'm gonna start this post with "omg, this blog has more than 2 followers, what the fuck?? That's crazy!". I don't usually look at numbers, because I don't want it to be a focus on my platforms, but just know that I appreciate every single one of you and I hope that you all enjoy what I'm doing here. Like at the moment of writing this there is 2277 people that decided they want to look at my art more and it makes me very happy, thank you! ^^
So uhh yeah, hiatus.
Not gonna lie, the past few months has been stressful for me and I have reached the point where my chest and stomach are in pain and I can't get enough sleep because of it, among other things (damn you mosquitoes!!!). It's something that happened before and it might take me months to recover from it. So I suppose you could say that this hiatus is mainly for the health reasons.
Though it's also because my gut is telling me that it's time to move on from this fandom to do other things.
Hear me out. It's not that I hate COTL now, far from it, I still love this silly cult game and I will follow what MM has to offer for this game in the future. I am just kinda not keeping up with myself when it comes to posting. I've been trying to post about my favs at least once a week, but honestly it's been a struggle to pump out anything at all lately. It's not that I don't have anything to post, I'm just tired and burned out.
So yeah, I think it's time to put this blog on hiatus for the time being. What I mean by that is I don't want this blog to be the top of my priorities and I want to take it easy.
I don't want it to go completely silent though. I'm planning to open my ask box again, because I miss interacting with everyone. However I will not do any art requests or draw anything for the asks in general. If I do, it will most likely be poorly drawn or it will be something related to character design, since that's what I'm most comfortable with, but I would prefer not have to draw at all. Though I am open for writing. I also wish to draw sometimes, so maybe I will post some artwork when I feel like it. I'm just not gonna post as often as I used to. It might take like a month (maybe two, maybe three, etc) before I decide to make anything.
What's the future of this blog? I am not sure yet. There is a chance that eventually I will abandon this blog entirely OR I could repurpose it for fanart in general. To be honest I'm leaning towards the second option at the moment, but that is a future me's problem.
I think that's all I've got to say right now. Again Thank You everyone who decided to follow, reblog and like my art and leave comments, I appreciate it all, and thank you to my moots and friends that I made along the way, I love you all (plat/non parasocial) and I hope this will work out.
TLDR: I'm going on hiatus, but not completely silent, also ask box open, but no requests
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Hello everyone! I'm getting a start early, by queueing this post for tomorrow morning, look at me go. Thank you who much to @tailsbeth-writes for the tag <3 I have ... 3 wips again, because I have no self control, so we're doing all of this under the cut, because it's gonna be long, and maybe a lil nsfw <3 LET'S GOOOOOOOO.
------ George Villier's inner dialogue during an Orgy (that's the working title on this, please bare with)
It wasn’t that George had always been this way, but an ascension into power had nurtured his hedonism prone nature. If he was to be blessed with the gift of beauty, he would take all the power and pleasure that came with it. He’d earned it after all, his bed of lovers, his social standing, influence, and wealth. Each a result of unsavory acts; but that made them so much more deserved, did it not? He could have anything he wanted, like a god among men, and so he should be worshipped the same. Though he was more than content with devotion in the form of flesh; he’d certainly used his own body as currency often enough. Even now, anything that wasn’t handed to him willingly, with a brush of lips, or a clandestine slip to knees, could become his. That in itself was testament to all he’d done, that his willing submission was as effective a bargaining tool as his power.
WATERSPORTS FIRSTPRINCE (aka, Alex is funny and Henry has a weak bladder)
“You… think it’s- what?” Henry choked out, “You think it’s hot that I pissed myself in the middle of our kitchen? Is that your idea of a joke?” “I-” the brunette could feel his own cheeks heating up now, “It’s not a joke, I do, I’m sorry, but I do,” he managed after a moment. “Oh,” the blond’s eyes shot straight down to the shorts Alex had on, falling on the visible hardness there, “Oh,” he repeated, but with much more understanding this time. There were still tears sparkling in the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall, but he was visibly less mortified, “Alex, that is so disgusting...” “I know, shit baby, I’m s-” “I can get into it.” “What?” “I said, I can get into it,” Henry repeated, “Well, honestly, I could probably get into anything that makes your cock hard, because- well frankly I reap the benefits of that. Would you like to fuck my throat?”
AND A NEW WIP, Hairstylist Henry and his least (read as favorite) Client Alex
“Alright, tilt your head back,” both of Henry’s hands rested on Alex’s temples, carefully moving the other man’s head into the perfect place, “Do you want me to stop under the jawline?” “Whatever you think looks best, sweetheart.” Normally, Henry would hate that, some businessman using a pet name on him. But usually it felt demeaning, when Alex did it, it felt genuine, perhaps that was why he didn't mind it. He would rather accept that than admit it might have something to do with how hot his cheeks felt or how his stomach flip flopped. Instead, he chose to focus on something else, like the familiar but luxurious scent becoming more evident the closer he was to Alex. “Santal 33?” the blond asked, running the trimmers over the other man’s jawline, making careful precise lines that would accentuate the sharp angles there. “Yeah,” impressively, Alex had answered that without much movement of his face; Henry was astonished. “Makes sense.” “What is that supposed to mean?” this time, the brunette moved, but he did have the mind to wait until Henry was running the trimers along his throat with less chance of Alex’s jolt messing up something. “It means you look like someone who has good taste, don’t move.” “You’re worse than a dentist,” Alex grumbled. “Stop moving, christ you’re an absolute menace, I’m going to slice your throat open.” “With an electric trimmer?” “I’m certain if I make enough effort, I just may be able to pull it off,” Henry snapped.
OKAY, that was a long one, if you stuck around thank u I love u. TAG LINE UP!!!!
@taste-thewaste @eusuntgratie @henrysfox @thighzp
@softboynick @catdadacd @sheepywritesfics @henryspearl
@basil-bird @caressthosecheekbones @henfox @onthewaytosomewhere + literally anyone else I'm sleepy and forgot, or anyone who sees this and wants to tag me, I love reading yall's stuff. <3
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Hey! Could you do a vampire marquis one shot where he meets the reader that looks like the love of his life from a past life but passed away from old age. Now he’s determined to make the reader a vampire so he doesn’t lose them again. Could be cute, could be angst, could be yandere, your choice!
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I'm gonna do this in more than one part, not sure how long it'll be but here we go.
PART ONE: When your friends don't know best
"that rich guy is staring at you." Your friend Annie told you as she glanced his way, and then back at you.
You quickly looked in the direction she had sent her eyes and you instantly met an intense stare from one of the most beautiful men you'd ever seen. Snapping your eyes away, you blushed when you saw Annie's huge smile. Feeling as tho you'd been caught doing something, you should not, you didn't allow yourself to look back at the gorgeous man. "How do you know he's rich?" You asked her. You didn't really go out often, and never to an exclusive club like this, so you were in over your head. You'd never been afraid to ask questions though, so you patiently waited while your friend, danced in a circle to get a sneaky peak at him once more.
"ok first thing you look at is the watch. He has an extremely expensive one on. You need to learn high end watches. Next you check his shoes which are obviously high end, and then look at the fit of his suit. His suit fits so well, on his unusually tall frame, that there's no way that's not a custom tailored suit. Add to that he's at the most expensive, nicest table with the best view in VIP, and he has his own security with him. The head host was sucking up to him earlier, and if all that isn't evidence enough for you, the man screams money and power. He's probably some blue blood or has some archaic title."
You nodded in agreement with all her observations. "Well that's too bad. He's so gorgeous, I might have danced with him if he asked me to." You shared as you shrugged your shoulders.
Annie's eyebrows rose in surprise. "What am I missing?" She asked, still looking lost.
"he is tall, gorgeous and wealthy. There's no way that he's not full of himself, and likely doesn't know how to treat little peasants like myself. He's probably unbearably conceited and is from such a different world than me, we'd likely struggle to understand each other. Plus if he isn't an absolute man whore, then his other half is most definitely a super model or heiress. I'm an American girl spending her summer in France, staying at the home of our exchange student who lives on a farm I might add." You laughed as you grabbed her hands and began to dance together.
"you could be a supermodel if you weren't such a bookworm." Annie confidently stated like it was a fact.
"I hate taking pictures and modeling seems like it'd be torture. Getting all made up for a few pictures that they pose you in various ways, before stripping everything away and starting over and over and over. Hurry up and wait, and then some weirdo tries to fuck me at every turn. No thank you." You shouted to your friend over the music.
It was so loud that even though you were in close proximity to her, you had to shout as loud as possible.
"not a man whore and don't have another half."
Eyes going wide, you whipped your head around and found none other than the gorgeous man, standing right in front of you. Unable to think of what to say, you turned to Annie with a look of horror on your face.
Seeing you were about to have a panic attack, Annie took it upon herself to introduce herself and you too. The man politely introduced himself as the Marquis de Gramont, and you nodded along dumbly as though you knew what the hell that meant.
At first you had decided that he was trying to get with Annie, since they talked so easily and Annie was beautiful and magnetic. She had grown up wealthy, so they'd likely have stuff in common too. Resigned to the fact, he wasnt interested in you, you felt more comfortable and were able to dance and have fun. When you and Annie went to the bathroom tho, she told you he was obviously into you.
You didn't think it was that obvious.
As the night wore on, you had this foreboding feeling you couldn't shake. Maybe you just were socially awkward. Never had anyone paid such close attention to you. He hung on your every word, and stared at you with such intensity, that it would have been terrifying if he wasn't so gorgeous. Even when you had needed to use the restroom, he'd escorted you there, and waited on you to be done. Even though the club was packed with people, he somehow was able to create a bubble around yourselves, that no one dared enter.
When you decided it was time to go, he had insisted that you let him drop you off at your friend's hotel. After a bit of back and forth, you gave in and followed him outside, where a two toned black and white Rolls Royce was waiting.
Slipping inside you were awe struck by the luxurious vehicle and failed to notice the Marquis soaking up your innocent wonder painted across your face, as you explored the vehicle.
Too soon you arrived at Annie's hotel, and the Marquis walked you up to her room. Taking your hand in his, he brought his lips to your hand lightly and asked if he could see you again. You agreed to see him again, not believing you actually would, but it was fun letting yourself believe this perfect guy liked you as much as he seemed to.
When you closed the door behind you, Annie screeched in excitement and swore that you'd met your very own prince charming. As she planned out your life together, you fell asleep when she's been trying to decide what your future twins names would be, and whether they'd enjoy horses as much as their older brother.
You woke the next morning to a knock at the door. Crawling from the bed, you figured it was housekeeping and wanted to tell them to skip this room today. Swinging the door open, you just stared at the enormous bouquet of long stem red roses like you expected them to speak.
"Delivery for you mademoiselle. Where would you like them?" The delivery man asked you from behind the enormous bouquet.
Directing him to place them on the bar, he placed an envelope in your hand , and was gone before you could even find your purse to tip him.
Although you were flattered, something just didn't sit right with you about him. You had been taught that anything too good to be true, was.
"who was that?" Your tired friend asked as she stumbled on the living area. "Oh my God! Are these from him? You fu king whore!"
She spotted the letter in your hand and demanded you read it to her as she made you both some coffee.
"to the most beautiful girl in the world, now before you think I am crazy, understand that I realize this is moving quite fast however, I am throwing a charity function for a children's charity that I run that is near and dear to my heart this evening at my estate and I would be honored if you and your lovely friend would join me. I understand that this is short notice, and so I have a driver downstairs waiting for you in the black and white Bentley that will take you to any fashion house in Paris to choose something to wear this evening. My treat for both of you. And don't you dare forget purses shoes and some jewelry. The media will likely be there, so a lot of these photos will be published and I want you girls looking your best. Also I've never invited any women to anything for many years so everyone is going to be very interested just to warn you. I hope that you are free this evening and would like to see me again as much as I would love to see you." You read. Looking up at your friend, you could see she was about to explode with excitement.
You really didn't want to see the Marquis again. Something about him just didn't sit right. while it had been flattering at first that a rich, powerful, attractive man seemed to be enthralled by you, you just couldn't get past the feeling in your gut.
Noticing you're lack of response or enthusiasm, your friend put her hands on her hips, and commanded "you are going in that bedroom and you are getting some clothes on and we are going shopping. I don't care what kind of craziness you've gotten in your head but this man is beautiful, powerful, rich, and even cares about children or something. I will not allow you to mess this up young lady!"
You rolled your eyes, and sighed dramatically, but listened to your bossy friend. When she walked in the room to get dressed as well, you informed her that if you two got kidnapped and sold into slavery, she was doing all the work.
If only you'd known how close to the truth that soon would be.
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Do think sel is jealous of valec
im hella late in answering anon this is in my drafts for like days and i forgot this one was asked I'm so sorryyy and i also don't have my tablet rn so i cant ss the specific parts but nvm imma just quote them
oh absolutely haha he's hella hella jealous and I've got proofs
so the main one where sel alsolutely is jealous
Sel shakes his head. “Don’t listen to him, Briana. He’s trying to convince you he has use here. He’s made up some reason to give you information, hoping it’ll turn into a debt you owe him.” Valec’s had enough. “You getting close to the edge again, kingsmage? Jumping to the worst-case scenario first. Assuming I want to tie Bree to me beyond the bounds of this conversation. Keep her for myself?” “Don’t you?” “Well,” Valec considers, smiling with not a small amount of fang. “Yes.” A minute tilt of Sel’s chin. “Watch yourself.” Valec’s smirk blooms wide. “The difference between you and me, Kane, is that I am a transparent sort, who’s happy to say out loud all that I desire.” Brown eyes flicker to red and back. “You want the same, you just can’t come out and say it. Not really.” Sel’s answer is a stunned silence. William flushes pink, and Alice looks downright disgusted.
i would also love to point out that sel was silent but William blushed. now i am so so so sure that their talk in the car on their way to volition?? bro i wanna know what they talked about because William sure as hell knows what sel and bree have going on, he definitely does. he's gonna be the kenji here i swear.
also, the balcony scene yall asdfghjkl like who's gonna say he's not jealous he is two steps away from killing valec whenever he says shit like that lmaooo
"Merlin's thoughts were harder and sharper than my own. Vicious in their clarity." Sel grimaces. "I wonder if it is because, unlike me, he was a half-human, half-demon... just like-" "Just like Valec." The tension in Sel's jaw tells me that my guess is right. Nick looks between us. "Who's Valec?" Sel's expression sours. "A rogue cambion and demon power broker with Rootcrafter ties." Nick's brow furrows. "Is he after Bree?" "Depends on how you define 'after'," Sel drawls. "Valec isn't trying to kill me," I clarify for Nick. "So that's refreshing." Sel snorts. "Valec flirts with you enough that it might kill me." Nick's eyes widen. "A demon power broker flirts with you?" He turns to Sel. "Who does this guy think he is?" "I can handle Valec," I say, rolling my eyes. "He is half demon, and apparently the balance makes him at peace with his demon side."
also the fact that nick said nothing about selwyn's feelings about someone flirting with bree. idk if this is poly confirmation or the fact that nick's plan includes him going somewhere and leaving bree and sel together but yall this is hilarious
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quarks-pussy · 1 year
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[Images description: Twelve pictures of Star Trek actors. The phrase "thank you for being both amazing actors and amazing people" is written across most of the images one word at a time, except for the two images in the middle. The middle images are of William Shatner, reading "not you!" and Robert Beltran, reading "or you for that matter". The actors in the other images are George Takei, René Auberjonois, DeForest Kelley, Gates McFadden, Wil Wheaton, Kate Mulgrew, Patrick Stewart, Siddig El Fadil (aka Alexander Siddig), Nichelle Nichols and Leonard Nimoy. End image description.]
Non exhaustive list of course. Many more such cases, in fact feel free to add
(insp)
#i considered putting sid's full name in the image description but i felt that might complicate things for screen reader users#but just so it's in the post i'll put it in the tags#siddig el tahir el fadil el siddig abdurrahman mohammed ahmed abdel karim el mahdi#yes i did copy paste it my memory is shit. i can't even remember my own full name...#(i gave myself like five different middle names at one point because if i'm already changing my name for trans reasons i might as well have#fun with it right but eventually i stopped using them because i literally kept forgetting my own name and had to look it up)#(i still have the note btw and since it seems i won't legally be using that last name anyway (nor any of the middle names) feel free to ask#anyway#star trek#not star trek#(schrödinger's post lol)#oh!!! i forgot one version of sid's name!! here goes#صدّيق الطاهر الفاضل الصدّيق عبدالرحمن محمد أحمد عبدالكريم المهدي#to be fair there's nothing in that tag (right now) but i guess i'm a completionist. or something#the others are ofc already findable because of the image description#oh and just fyi if you wanna add others do feel free to add new trek actors. i didn't include any here essentially because as soon as i inc#include one of them people are gonna complain i didn't include more of them. plus i ran out of space. sorry tawny#oh and to that one anon: i WILL still answer but i needed a break lol#original posts fresh from quark's pussy
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hunsa-jars · 9 days
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Dread be dreading
#ughg#i usually have awful thoughts randomly popping up here or there#make me pretty anxious for a few days then i won't think about them for a while#but man i can't handle doubts suddenly resurfacing#like this monday i was listening to my last lecture and everything bad i cooked up a in the past few months hit me like a truck#couldn't even focus i was too busy internally chanting shit fuck i don't want this i made a huge mistake shit shit#i won't be able to handle all this responsibility i'm so tired this will butcher my mental health should have chosen media studies fuuuck#what was i thinking what am i gonna do help#then proceeded to distract myself with an electric outlet otherwise i might have started crying#:/#and those thoughts aren't wrong unfortunately#i love this university and the classes and the things i study#the teachers and my classmates and the kids i got to take care of#but i don't think i could do this for real#i'm not even struggling with anything i'm just scared and tired as hell#and thought i could just. power through it- like if i'm stubborn enough it won't matter that it's draining#but damn#and hell originally i came here because i wanted to teach english to kids#i guess my expectations were too high i don't feel like i've learned anything that useful this far#and turns out it won't get better#we just gonna do presentations again#to be fair i loved researching nursery rhymes but i hoped we would have... more. of that#also about media studies. chief... i crave to be there#could have picked the english specialization there too- i'm a moron. a bozo. holy shit#well. gonna go through this semester either way. because again everything i study here (almost everything) is genuinely great and useful#and perhaps i'm just in a Pit right now#the dread pit#should probably break this to my sister. somehow#random squeak
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muselexum · 24 days
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kazhan · 1 month
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Let's talk about Karen
You know what, fuck it, I want to talk about Karen Wheeler.
More specifically, I’d like to talk about the Duffers’ and, as a result, the fandom’s treatment of Karen Wheeler.
What does Karen do in the show again?
First of all, let’s note that Karen appears in every episode in season 1, and in 5 episodes in season 2, 3 and 4, with very little to basically non-existent lines of dialogue in most of those episodes. 
In the first episode of season one, her first appearance is her telling the kids to end their game because it’s a school night and they can finish this weekend. Later in the episode, Will Byers has gone missing and Mike wants to go looking for him, Karen insists he needs to stay home and tells Nancy the same when she asks if she can go out, she also scolds Nancy when she gets upset because she can’t go out “just because Will is missing”.
Ted barely participates/helps, and Karen “hopes he’s enjoying his chicken”, she leaves the room, clearly upset for not getting much backup from her husband.  
In episode 2, Karen is being supportive, letting Mike stay home because he “doesn’t feel well”, she tells him he can talk to her about anything, not to hide things from her, that she’s here for him. 
When Nancy asks to go to the gathering at school for Will, she tells her to be back at 10pm. 
When Nancy gets home much later in episode 3, Karen was up and waiting for her, she is upset, worried, and says Nancy should have called, then she starts asking questions about the sweatshirt Nancy is wearing, and telling her Nancy can talk to her, “whatever happened”, Nancy insists nothing happened and it’s pretty obvious Karen doesn’t believe her and is extremely worried, she looks on the verge of tears as Nancy goes to her room.
Later, Karen visits Joyce with Holly, to bring her food. She is gentle, reassuring, she asks about Jonathan, tells her that if Joyce needs anything, they’re here for her, etc… When Joyce starts acting weird and insisting Holly tell her what she saw in the wall, Karen tries to tell her to calm down, then leaves when told to.
At the end of the episode, Will’s (fake) body is dragged out of the quarry and Mike rushes home, where he runs to Karen for comfort, thinking he just lost his friend.
Episode 4 shows Karen looking extremely saddened by the news of Will’s death, but also very worried for her son, she tries to cheer him up and help him change his mind, and lets him stay home to get some rest, reminding him to call his dad at work if he needs to. 
We then see her sitting next to Nancy while the cops interrogate her about Barb’s disappearance, Karen doesn’t say a word during that scene, but her and Nancy start arguing the moment they get home because Karen knows Nancy lied to the cops, she is visibly worried and upset Nancy did this, and the conversation moves on to what really happened that night: Nancy admits she actually slept with Steve, but it doesn’t matter because Barb is missing and no one is listening to her. Karen says she is, Nancy says “no, you’re not” and goes to her room, leaving an anguished Karen behind. 
Karen appears at Will’s funeral in episode 5, with her children and to show Joyce support.
In episode 6, Ted wonders why Nancy still hasn’t come down to eat with them, and Karen goes to check on her. After getting no answer at all, she lockpicks the door to find that Nancy is gone.
Next, in episode 7, Karen is on the phone with Steve’s parents because she knows “she and Steve have been spending some time together”, she keeps getting interrupted by Mike, but she asks if Steve is home, probably to ask him if he knows where Nancy might be. 
Later, Karen is in the basement and finds El’s little den and a piece of blond hair from her wig when the people from the lab and Brenner show up, and immediately start feeding Karen and Ted lies about how this girl their son may have been hiding in their home is dangerous (Ted laughs at the thought of Mike being around a girl, while Karen very much looks like she understood from what she found earlier than it might be true), Karen asks what this girl did, she is obviously (again) very worried for Mike, and Brenner uses this, telling her that her son is “in grave danger” but they’ll save him, if only she can tell them where he might be. 
In the next scene, Karen says they should be out there, looking for Mike, but Ted insists that they should let the government people do their job, because they’re obviously “on their side”. Karen points out that this man (Brenner) gives her the creeps, and asks if Ted thinks Nancy might be involved in all this. Ted assures her there’s no way. 
We should be out there looking for our son; Ted: they’re govt people, we need to trust them; Karen: this man (Brenner) gives me the creeps, thinks Nancy might be involved into all this; Ted: no way
In the last episode, after everything is over, Karen and Ted rush to the school, Karen clearly scared. She embraces Mike, crying, relieved. She is then seen at the hospital where they wait to hear from Will, and finally in the epilogue, where she tells Jonathan to wish Joyce a Merry Christmas.
So. What does season 1 tell us about Karen Wheeler?
Season 1 Karen is a housewife, a mother who is worried about the safety of her children (something she will keep showing throughout the entirety of the show). A child goes missing and she wants her own to stay home, her son’s best friend goes missing and is later found dead and she is shown trying to reach out, to comfort him. We also see her offering Joyce the same comfort and sympathy.
When it comes to Nancy, we are also shown a concerned mother, someone who is watching her daughter go puberty, start showing interest in boys and lying to her mother about where she’s going and what she’s doing. She is upset at times, but she is mostly worried and desperately trying to reach out, to remind Nancy that she is here for here, whatever happened. 
We can also see that Ted isn’t the most helpful husband, we always see Karen taking care of the kids while Ted is watching TV or reading the newspaper. We never see them being affectionate and it seems pretty obvious (especially after what Nancy says about her parents) that they probably got married because it was convenient, not because they were in love. 
Karen is also pretty observant: she knows when Nancy is lying at least twice, she makes the connection between the piece of hair from the wig she found and her son actually hiding El in their basement, she notices Brenner’s vibes were off, and she wonders if Nancy might be involved in the same mess Mike is (which, she is). 
In season 2, in episode 1, Karen punishes Mike for stealing from Nancy and being overall rude and misbehaving for months, she states that she knows he’s had a rough year and they’ve been patient, but enough is enough. 
We don’t really see Karen much after that, she only makes very short appearances until episode 9, where we see her relaxing in her bath while reading a romance novel when Billy shows up. She is obviously flustered by his looks, and Billy immediately starts flirting with her, stating he “didn’t know Nancy had a sister”, which flusters Karen even more. Billy says he’s been “worried sick” about his sister Max who’s been missing all day, and that he figured she might be here. Karen invites him in, gives him the Byers’ address and tells him to be careful, then very obviously ogles him as Billy leaves. 
There isn’t much to say about season 2 Karen, as she barely appears and her longest scene is the one she has in episode 9 with Billy. Before that, we only see her acting the same way she was in season 1, parenting her children—or trying to—and receiving very little help and support from her husband.
On to season 3. In episode 1, Karen is at the swimming pool, sunbathing with other moms while reading another romance novel, when they get all excited because it’s “show time”. Music starts playing, slow mo Billy comes out in his bathing suit and sunglasses, looking hot as hell, and the housewives all oggle him. He compliments Karen on her new bathing suit, which obviously pleases her.
Next, we see her swimming, and Billy’s now the one ogling her, he then approaches her, starts flirting, and ends up inviting her to meet him at a motel for “private lessons”. 
Towards the end of the episode, Karen is getting ready to meet Billy, she looks at her wedding ring, hesitates, then takes it off. She goes downstairs, where she pauses before leaving, and looks at Ted asleep on his armchair, with Holly asleep on him. It’s obvious from her expression that she will not go have an affair with Billy.
When we see Karen again in episode 2, she is back at the pool with the other housewives, but she clearly looks uncomfortable. When she sees Billy, she goes find him and tries to explain herself, the exchange goes like this:
“I… I understand if you’re angry with me. I just… I wanted to explain… why I didn’t come last night. It’s not you, it’s just… I have a family. And I can’t do anything that will hurt them. You understand that, right? But I shouldn’t have said that…” (She is interrupted as Billy has some sort of vision of himself bashing her head against a shelf) “Billy… please, will you talk to me?”
“Stay away from me Karen.”
Karen appears next in episode 4, after Nancy got fired. They have a heartfelt conversation, where Karen tells her that “it’s not easy out there Nance, people saying you can’t, shouldn’t, that you’re not smart enough, not good enough. This world, it… beats you up again and again, until most people just stop trying. But you’re not like that, you’re a fighter, you always have been.” She says she doesn’t know where Nancy got it from, Nancy jokes “Dad” and they both laugh, then Nancy says “I get it from you, Mom.” Karen is very emotional, and tells Nancy she’s proud of her for standing up for herself, and that if she believes in this story, she should finish it.  
We don’t see Karen until episode 7, where she is at the 4th of July parade/fair with Ted and Holly. Joyce and Hopper find them and ask if they know where the kids are and Karen admits she doesn’t, she doesn’t think they’re here yet. She starts listing off where the kids have been today and then says she can hardly keep track these days, and it’s summer after all. 
Finally, in episode 8, she comforts Mike after the Byers and El move out of Hawkins.
Season 3 Karen is once again trying to be a supportive mother, and we see her struggling even more with her marriage, even going as far as considering cheating on Ted with Billy before she remembers that she can’t do anything that would hurt her family. 
In season 4, Karen doesn’t appear much either, we see her in episode 1 telling Mike to be home by 9pm because he has an early flight to California the next day, we don’t see her again until episode 5 where she is making breakfast for the kids and says she thinks it’s sweet that they’re sticking together, Ted makes a rude comment about having freeloaders, to which Karen says that they’re always welcome here. 
In episode 6, Karen is horrified by Patrick’s death, she goes to the town gathering like the other parents and looks worried during Jason’s speech, she and the others rush home to look for their children who “should have been back by now” as she thought they were at the cinema. Erica says that they’ve clearly been lied to, and Karen calls the police. 
She is here in episode 7 when the cops interrogate the kids, but she doesn’t really say much, and is only shown running outside when the kids leave, looking worried. 
In the epilogue of episode 9, she is sorting clothes to give away, she doesn’t believe the whole “gate to hell” story they’re talking about on the news, and when Mike comes home, she rushes to hug him and says he’s “never going on vacation again, in fact you can forget about college”.
I feel like a broken record, but… well, season 4 Karen is once again trying to be a good mom, and worrying about her kids. 
Phew. Now that we’ve established all of Karen’s appearances and actions throughout the show, let’s finally get to the reasons why I’m writing this whole thing, yeah? 
Karen Wheeler is a good mom, actually
For the Duffers, Karen Wheeler is nothing more than a housewife and mother in a teen movie, her character doesn't exist beyond fulfilling those roles. Her children live in a horror/monster hunter movie, so do other adult characters like Joyce and Hopper, but Karen doesn’t. Her world is normal, she has normal problems: her husband is boring and unhelpful, her two oldest children are acting up and lying to her about things she can only assume are very normal. 
Karen doesn’t know about the Upside Down because the Duffers don’t want her to. She doesn’t know what her children are really going through because they are lying to her, and because the Duffers don’t want her to. 
Stranger Things only works if there are no parents to get in the way of the children’s adventures. Joyce and Hopper are busy living their own; Dustin’s mom, Lucas and Erica’s parents, Max’s mom and Neil all ignore what is really going on with their children, they are as clueless as Karen is when it comes to where the kids are and what they’re up to, we just see them less than Karen; we don’t even see Steve or Robin’s parents because they wouldn’t bring anything to the story and would only be more obstacles the Duffers would have to get rid of. 
So, considering how we’ve seen Karen behave with her children, and how the scenario is literally forbidding her from ever finding out about what is truly going on, I think it’s really, really unfair when people say she is a bad mom.
In fact, I’ll even go as far as to say that Karen is the best mom in Stranger Things. 
She’s here for her children, she comforts Mike and Nancy when they need, she has told them both multiple times that they can talk to her, she worries about them, and the whole “she doesn’t even know where they are” thing is just bullshit. This happens once, in season 3, it’s the only time where she admits she isn’t sure where they are, and even then, she lists off where she knows (or thinks she knows) they’ve been during the day. In season 2, when Dustin demands to know where Mike and Nancy are and Ted asks Karen because he has no fucking idea, Karen has an answer for both of them. 
Yes, the answers are incorrect, but it’s not her fault both her children are lying to her. 
I think it’s even more unfair—and extremely biased—when people also compare her to Joyce and make it sound like Joyce is the perfect mom while Karen is, if not the worst, not far from it. 
I love Joyce, she is an amazing character, but she is also a hot mess who is barely there for Jonathan throughout the show. Hell, when Karen asks her how Jonathan is doing in season 1—the first thing she asks her by the way—Joyce says that “he’s good at taking care of himself, always has been, you know?” which… well. Sure. He’s also sixteen and his little brother has gone missing and his mom is (in his eyes) losing her mind, you know? 
I’m not here to put Joyce on trial, like I said, I love her character and she is doing the best she can considering her situation and everything that’s happening to her, but she is also deeply flawed and tends to get tunnel vision. She is the one who asks Karen where their kids are in season 3 because she has no idea, she’s also the one who literally abandons her kids and El (who definitely needs all the support she can get) to go to Russia to save Hopper in season 4.
Again, I don’t want to pit those two characters against each other for Mom of the Year, my goal is simply to point out that Joyce, who is often described as The Perfect Mom, is far from being perfect, and Karen, who is often described as The Worst Mom, is… actually mostly doing what a mom should do? 
Yeah, yeah, I know.
But what about Billy?
Let’s go back to how the Duffers treat Karen, shall we?
The season 2, episode 9 scene with Billy is filmed in a funny, even (in my opinion) mocking way. Karen is shown reading a romance novel in her bath, and the man on the cover is very much meant to remind people of Billy: light hair, mullet, strong muscled guy. Karen is clearly flustered the moment she sees him, and we are meant to understand that it’s like this character she was just reading about (and probably fantasizing about) just materialized in front of her. And then Billy immediately starts flirting, and Karen is obviously pleased, she plays along, etc. 
Now, when I look at this scene, my first thought isn’t “ew, she’s ogling a child”, because… well, she isn’t. 
Let me explain. 
The Duffers hired a 23 years old actor to play Billy Hargrove. That is not uncommon, in fact it’s pretty much the norm in most TV shows/movies, and in Stranger Things too. 16-18yo teenagers are very rarely if ever played by actors below 20, but Billy is definitely the one that stands out the most among the teens in season 2, Joe Keery looks more like a teenager despite being older than Dacre Montgomery who has the stubble and body of a guy in his twenties. When I look at season 2 Billy Hargrove, I don’t think “this is a 17yo teenager”, and I’m ready to bet that I’m not the only one. 
Billy doesn’t look like a teenager, because the actor playing him isn’t, and that is the only reason why the Duffers were able to film this scene, and the ones later in season 3.
If Billy had been played by a 17-18yo actor who thus had looked like a 17yo teenager, they never would have been able to make this scene the way it is. They would have been forced to change the tone of the scene entirely, either to completely ridiculous because we’d have seen some kid flirting with a grown-ass woman whose only possible reaction would have been to be like “cute, alright, moving on,” and see right through him; or to indeed make it very predatory, with Karen ogling a teenage boy. 
That was not the intent behind the scene. The intent was to show bored, lonely and horny housewife Karen getting flirted with by a hot young man because they thought it’d be funny. The intent was to objectify said hot young man because they thought it’d be different from what we usually see and make them seem very smart. 
And yeah, this is making fun of Karen. It’s making fun of her loneliness, of her reading romance novels and imagining a thrilling romance for herself, a young, muscular young man showing up to save her from boredom. The Duffers didn’t give a shit about the fact that Billy is 17, so of course Karen, their character, doesn’t.
In season 3, the same intent is there, but multiply it by 100 and just make everything worse. Karen is once again reading a romance novel and her and the other housewives have such boring lives that a young hot lifeguard showing up for his shift is literally the highlight of their day, one they know the timing of; we get the slow mo, the music, the bottom lip biting, everything is there to once again objectify a man because they’re so smart and pro-women being horny, vive le féminisme! 
Anyway, Billy flirts with her, very obviously invites her to have sex with him, she agrees, then changes her mind when she realizes the consequences having an affair could have on her children.
Karen isn’t only made fun of for being a lonely, bored housewife who reads romance novels to escape the reality of her dead romantic and sex life, she is also made to give up on something that made her feel alive, desired, beautiful, to “be a good mother”. Now, I’m not saying that it would have been more “yass girl feminism won” to have her sleep with a guy twenty years younger than her, but… I just find it interesting, you know. She stops being sexual to be a good mother, and fandom decides to ignore/forget/erase all the good things she did as a mother because the way she expressed said sexuality was morally wrong.
Yeah, morally wrong. Because nothing she did was illegal. Even if she had slept with Billy in season 3, it wouldn’t have been illegal. Billy is 18 by then, he’s flirting with her, propositioning her, hell, he’s totally ogling her when she’s swimming, he was also the first one to flirt in season 2, etc. Now, yes, the morally good thing to do would have been to gently let him down in season 2, that’s what should happen in real life.
But Stranger Things isn’t real life, and neither of those scenes are meant to reflect real life. They’re the Duffers having fun, putting their own teenage fantasies of Having Sex With a Mom in their show.
“But the Duffers being a bunch of idiots doesn’t change what Karen did/almost did”. No, it doesn’t. Just like thinking the Duffers are idiots for trying to make Billy a one-dimensional villain who is racist for shock value instead of ever trying to say anything actually valuable about the racism faced by Lucas doesn’t change the fact that Billy said something racist about him to Max. 
And yet, people are quick to jump to Billy’s defense, to make up headcanons, to completely ignore canon, to write posts and posts about how it was out of worry about Max and not really against Lucas (I’m not debating this here, I’m just stating what is being done for Billy) and I see no one doing the same for Karen.
Why? Why is one character butchered by her creators’ misogyny considered an irredeemable monster, subjected to the worst vitriol from a portion of the fandom, when another character, made to say something racist and attack Lucas by his creators’ because “we need to show he’s really bad”, forgiven and rewritten to be better? 
Why is canon ignored for one, and not the other? 
I’m not saying you should be all fine and happy while watching those scenes, in fact, I think it’s good they actually upset people. What I’m asking is why are people more mad at Karen herself than they are at the Duffers’, why I never see people outraged at how her character was used and mocked in those scenes, why no one is writing fix-its for Karen and instead further mocking her and treating her like crap? 
What I’m asking is: why the double standard? 
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frecklystars · 1 month
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I have another gig in a week and I'm so nervous 😭 I get paid hundreds of dollars for only five hours of work, but it is so nerve-racking and the work environment is so stressful, like literally every time I'm there I'm on the verge of tears or I have to take a 2 minute break before the show starts just to run to the restrooms and cry bc I get so stressed out. And then when I clock out I just cry my eyes out in my car while driving home. But hey!!! Hundreds of dollars!!! For five or six hours of my time!!! Only a few days a month!!! Hundreds!!! Of dollars!!! So it would be totally stupid to quit.
I wouldn't have been able to afford pampering myself on my last two F/O anniversaries (and currently placing an order for a rose bouquet for Six's anniversary for the 18th) if I didn't have this second job... but if it didn't pay me such a large amount of money each time, I probably would have quit by now bc it makes me so damn anxious. The show isn't even for one week and I'm sitting here stressing about it! I have one thousand other things to stress about and this job shouldn't be one of 'em 😤
I just keep trying to think about Ken hugging me while saying "Aw, sweet girl, don't be nervous! You JUST started this job, you've only worked three shows -- you think you're gonna be perfect your first try?? You're gonna be so good once you get the hang of it. Just look at me! I've been doing Beach for 62 years now, and I still don't know what my job is supposed to be... but I know I look So Cool™ 😎"
#my god i love ken SO MUCH i am so grateful to have an F/O who brings me comfort when im anxious#and grateful i am not as numb as i was three weeks ago#i am still struggling to self ship like i used to - and i think i always will bc of [gestures to 2023] - BUT#the fact that i thought of ken and felt some relief is a rly good sign bc three weeks ago i felt *nothing*#i am depressed and miserable as fuck today but he still gave me a crumb of comfort. THATS SOMETHING ✨#woof#plus I'm gonna be able to meet a TF voice actor in September bc of this job#I'm gonna give him my charms... and... say I liked his character...#and maybe it'll make me feel better around that character. or maybe it won't. but it's worth a try!!!#and how cool is it that I get to work in a place where so many big celebs do their shows?? and MEET them???#one day I wanna meet John Legend if he comes back again and tell him I LOVED him in La La Land 🥺#This job is impossible to get hired for unless if you have connections bc it's so... idk the word. fancy?#that's not the word but it's a Big Job and I am SO STRESSED MY GOD#but I'd be wasting opportunities if I didn't keep trying at least for a few more months#and if I gotta cry my eyes out in the parking lot after my shifts that's fine as long as I work the full five to six hours#I'm celebrating *THREE* F/O anniversaries in September which is ALSO MY BIRTHDAY#so I'm gonna need the extra cheddar to absolutely spoil myself. Officer K and Driver are two big main F/Os#and I still haven't celebrated my Barbie/Ken anniversary as much as I wanted#so!! I!! will!!! tough it out even though this job makes me cry. give me that money#I am stressed every day of my life bc I have a Complex Stress Disorder you might as well pay me hundreds to be stressed
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suffercerebral · 4 months
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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eggmeralda · 4 months
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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elegyofthemoon · 9 months
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also did jing yuan not sell well where the heck did his rerun go why are we on blade and kafka's...
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byanyan · 7 days
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me, a 30 y/o who has gradually grown more and more reclusive over the years, unable to hold a job for more than a month and unable to finish any schooling despite many attempts, who struggles immensely with social situations to the point of avoiding everything, has been misdiagnosed w/ bpd in the past, & been in treatment for depression & anxiety for nearly 2 decades atp: so i think i'm autistic
the psychiatrist i only got in to see after suffering a severe mental/emotional breakdown for the second time in my life: ok well most physicians don't do assessments for that anymore, you'd have to go private and pay around $5000 to find out
me: surprisedpikachu.jpg
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moe-broey · 17 days
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Oh god. Oh fuck. The Gunk
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lilowoof · 19 days
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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itslookingback · 11 months
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:/
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