#and its like. i feel bad for complaining when donnie is working so hard to make me a body

[turtle-seance]

... the other good thing about my family not following this blog is i can also uh. say things that are not terrible jokes

[leo-dooley-lab-rats]

I Never Meant For You To Leave (Lab Rats One-Shot)

Because I was trying to protect my friends. And I'm still gonna protect my friends. That's right. You wanna send them away, you have to go through me first.

“You doing okay,” a voice asks. Chase looks up and sees Leo standing next to him.

“Oh yeah, I’m great, Leo. My best friend Sebastian turned out to be evil which makes both of my best friends turning out to be evil. So, why wouldn’t I be okay?!”

“Okay, I’m seeing it was a bad question, but I was checking up on you.” Leo sits down next to Chase.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Not all of your best friends have turned out to be evil, you know.”

“Both Marcus and Sebastian are both evil.”

“I’m going to pretend to not be offended by that remark because your hurting. I was talking about me, Chase. I’m not evil and we are best friends.”

“But your my brother. I’m not sure that counts.”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t know, because your family.”

“What does that have to do with anything? In case you forgot, before we were brothers we were just friends.”

I'm the one who showed you the real world, Chase. I taught you what it means to be a brother.

“No. What I meant to say is that, Leo, you’ve always been more than just a friend… you’re different than other friends… you were my first friend… and Adam and Bree’s first friend too. Before you, we didn’t really have anyone besides Davenport and Eddie… it was pretty lonely before you showed up.”

Come on, Chase. I know my brother's in there. Where is he, Chase? Where is my brother?

“Your special to me too, you know. I never really had many friends or any before I met you guys. Mom was always working and I never met my real dad. I guess what I’m saying is that I was pretty lonely too before I met you guys.”

***

Maybe quitting your team wasn't enough. Maybe I need to quit being your brother, too.

Leo left the academy. That isn’t right. Leo doesn’t leave. He stays… always. It’s too quiet without Leo. Chase missed Leo. Well, everyone misses Leo.

“Was I too hard him? Yeah… probably was…” Chase ponders. “If I believed in him… If I didn’t doubt him… would he still be here?”

“Missing the kid,” Douglas asks.

Douglas sat down next to Chase. Chase is sitting alone the training room.

“Yeah… it’s my fault he left,” Chase starts, “I should have more faith in Leo.”

Leo, you're not ready to be a mentor, so stop complaining and start getting to know your fellow students

Douglas wouldn’t go so far as to blame Chase alone. Douglas has kept an eye on the kid for long time and grown to be very fond of him. Douglas has noted a shift on the kid’s behavior since coming to the island. Douglas put it down to the kid not being a mentor like the rest of the family. Douglas saw the matter deeper as just Leo’s ego and saw the matter as Leo wanting to just be his family’s equal. Douglas knew the feeling.

Douglas had foreseen Leo pint-up feelings that were bound to show up sooner or later coming for a long time now. Unfortunately, that Taylor kid got hurt in the process. It’s never a good thing to hold things in.

I got so frustrated, I punched the wall.

I can't believe you, Leo. Not only did you damage my brand-new academy, but you lied to me and betrayed my trust.

Douglas didn’t know who the blame when it came to Leo leaving. Maybe Donnie? Or Adam, Bree, and Chase for sidelining him? Douglas didn’t know. He wished now he had voiced his concerns for the kid to Donnie. Better yet, he should have told Tasha. That woman was force to feared when it came to her kids, especially Leo.

I'm very disappointed in you, Leo. But you took responsibility and you didn't leave Spin on the hook. You've learned a very valuable lesson today. As a student.

“Chase, its not your fault… not fully anyways.”

“What do you mean, Douglas?”

“You never noticed how upset the kid was these past couple months?”

“No… I should have.”

Douglas wondered if anyone here noticed how Leo was feeling. Douglas hasn’t even known the kid as long as the rest of them and he noticed. Did anyone pay attention to the kid on this island?

“Look, Chase, I’m not good that these kinda of talks… I do know this Leo hasn’t been the happiest since he’s been here. Leo never told me exactly why, but I know he wouldn’t want you sitting around here blaming yourself.”

“I’m his brother, Douglas! Leo should have told me. Why did he come to you and not me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he did tell you and you didn’t listen. I don’t know. Now calm down. Getting all worked up isn’t going to help anything.”

Don't worry, Big D. We got this. Now, what exactly will I be teaching?

Nothing. You're a student.

A what? But you gave me a mission suit. You said I was part of the team!

Did Leo tell him that he was unhappy and he didn’t listen? How could he have missed that? How? Chase remembered that Leo was disappointed at not being a mentor at the Academy. Was that the reason Leo was unhappy? Chase thought Leo worked through that. Sure, Leo threw a minor temper fit after finding out he was student, but Leo seemed to okay with being student after that. Chase had noticed how hard Leo was training and was proud of him. Plus, it’s not like Adam, Bree, or Chase treated him differently because he was a student and he still got to go on missions. What was the problem?

Chase has had always thought Leo would happy not matter where he was and what he was doing as long as their family is together. Chase was wrong. “I guess I was wrong…” Chase thought. “I’m the smart one. I’m suppose to know what to do.”

“I’m his brother. I should have known.”

“Being brothers doesn’t mean know knowing everything about each other. Take Donnie and me, for example, he doesn’t know I’m banned from Vegas three time over for card counting. Don’t tell him. It’s best he doesn’t find out now.”

“How do you get banned from Vegas three times?”

“It’s better you don’t know.”

You should've stopped when I told you to. This just proves you're not ready to lead your own team.

I am more than ready. And maybe I wouldn't feel like I need to prove that to you guys if you weren't always looking down on me.

Chase thinks overs all the things he said to Leo the days leading up Leo departure. Was the award ceremony the start of all this or was this deeper? Did Leo really believe that his family looked down on him? And did his family look down on him?

Chase realizes that there was a lot of truth in what Leo was saying. They did look at Leo as just their little brother yet they still let Leo jump in the line of fire for them over and over again. Chase thinks back to all missions where Leo saved his life or Adam or Bree. Other times, Leo saved all of them at once.

Leo just saved our lives. That was supposed to be us.

He didn't need bionics to be a hero.

Did Chase and everyone else just take Leo being there for granted? Leo had always just been there since he stumbled into his life. Now he left. That wasn’t right. Chase began to wonder for the first time ever if Leo had a life before meeting Adam, Bree, or himself. Chase was starting to realize just how little he knew about Leo, his own brother.

Leo, we don't look down on you.

Yeah, we have total respect for all of your shortcomings.

When are you guys gonna stop treating me like I'm an idiot?!

Maybe when you stop acting like one.

“Did I really call Leo an idiot? I mean if anyone in the family is an idiot then it’s Adam,” Chase wonders. “How could have not seen how unhappy Leo was? Am I am bad brother for not realizing it?”

Chase looks over at Douglas who was still sitting next to him. He begins to wonder just how close his biological father was to his brother. The brother who he wasn’t related to by blood rather related to by friendship, love, and bond. How could he been so blind to Leo’s pain and troubles?

“Hey Douglas, did Leo ever tell you how he was feeling?”

“Once or twice, yeah… but Chase— Leo isn’t one to make his needs known. Don’t feel too bad about it.”

“I still do…”

“I know. I know… If it helps, I feel bad about it too.”

***

I'll tell you what's up with me. I am tired of everyone treating me like some kind of non-existent bionic hero.

“I would ask how you are doing, but I can tell by all your faces that your not okay,” Donald Davenport says to bionic trio.

Adam, Bree, and Chase are in their private mentor quarters. Adam stood over Chase and Bree. Chase and Bree were sitting on the couch. Chase had his arm around Bree. It’s only a day or two after Leo left. This was a strange new Leo-less world was not okay in any one of the Davenports’ mind.

I'm going back to Mission Creek. I don't belong here anymore. I'm quitting the academy.

“Why would we be okay?! Leo left,” Adam practically shouts.

“Take it easy, Adam. I’m sure Leo will be back before we know it,” Bree says trying to comfort her brother.

No one wanted to believe Leo would stay away forever. This was Leo. Leo didn’t just leave. Somehow… everyone in their little family knew this was different. That maybe… Leo wasn’t coming back.

No. Chase was right. I'm not cut out to be a leader.

I never meant for you to leave.

Chase meant that. He never meant for Leo to leave. He never wanted to Leo to leave. He wonder, not for the first time, if drove his brother away. Douglas seemed to think that he didn’t, but Chase wasn’t sure. Leo seemed so heartbroken when he last saw him.

Part of being a leader is making mistakes. You learn from them, and you move on. I mean, look at Chase. Think of all the mistakes he's made as mission leader.

“I don’t know guys… Leo seemed pretty upset. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this upset before,” Chase states.

“Yeah…” Bree adds. “That didn’t mean he had to up and leave.”

“Yeah! We could have helped him through this like we should have been doing this whole time,” Adam almost shouts.

But his never hurt anyone. Taylor has to live with my mistake for the rest of her life.

So you're just gonna give up and leave? What about our team?

Logan, you deserve a better team. Or at least a better leader. I'm not gonna put you or anyone else here in danger ever again. Here. Give it to someone more deserving.

Leo, I'm not gonna let you--

Yes, you are, because it's not your choice. It's mine. Bye, guys. Sorry I let you down.

“I hate to say it, but Chase is right. Leo might not come back,” Davenport adds.

“He has to come back,” Adam mutters, “he has to…”

Not too long after that was said, Davenport had to leave and deal with stuff on the island. He had given the kids the rest of the day off to just deal with this. He understood how much they missed their brother, because Donald Davenport misses Leo too.

After their father had left, the bionic trio sits in silence until…

“We should have listened to him,” Bree says.

“Yeah…” Chase absently agrees. “If only we had treated him better… Do you think we drove him to all of it?”

“Yeah, I do. We never really respected Leo…” Adam, in one of his rare moments of wisdom, says.

I told you Marcus was evil. "Leo, he's a nice guy", "Leo, give the guy a break". Wool, eyes, pulled over.

Look, Leo. We're sorry we didn't believe you.

“I hate to say it Adam,” Chase starts. “But you’re right. We never did respected him. And we took for granted the best friend we’ve ever had. Now he’s gone.”

Sometimes, you say something very personal before thinking and don’t even realize you’ve actually said it. Chase just did that and luckily for him Adam and Bree didn’t notice either.

I wanted to tell you, but he threatened to report your secret to the authorities.

That makes sense. He was just looking out for us.

“Leo’s not dead. He just left the island…” Adam says, trying to lighten the mood. “But I know what you mean. It’s not right without him here.”

“No, it’s not,” Bree agrees.

Leo, what is he doing here?

It's okay. I brought him. He's the only one who can help you.

I don't know about this.

We don't have a choice. Do you wanna be bionic or not?

Bree thinks back to the time Leo brought Douglas to help her get her chip back. Leo was the only who thought to even ask Douglas. Leo didn’t even seem to care about consequences of doing so. Bree never thought much of what Leo did that day until now. She wished she had now.

He tried to warn us about Marcus and we ignored him.

How often did the Davenports ignore Leo when he tried to tell him something? He tried to warn them about Marcus and they didn’t listen. His family didn’t listen back then. How little has changed in past few years?

“Guys,” Adam break the silence, “do you think that Leo would come back if we said we were sorry?”

Was Leo leaving a chain of events or just one of Leo temper fits? As much as everyone wanted to believe that it was the latter, it was really former. If it was just one of Leo’s fits, then he would come back after apology.

“Adam, this feels deeper than something an ‘I’m sorry’ can fix,” Chase says.

“Then what do we do?!”

“I don’t know, Adam, I don’t know. I wish I did.”

You can break up the team but you are not breaking up my family.

Chase remembered when the team broke up and the three of them stop speaking. Leo became a bit of peacemaker between them. None of them even had to ask Leo to do this he just did it. Chase never thought about it much until now. Now that Chase thinks about it, Leo tended to that. He stood by them without needing to be asked or did things for them without being asked. He ran into the line of fire to save them all the way back to that party he threw for them or jumping to save them at the garage dump.

What did Adam, Bree, and Chase give in return to all of Leo’s kindness and friendship/brotherhood? Nothing is the answer Chase came up with. Chase realized Leo never asked for anything when he help them. He just did it. Chase wasn’t sure he understood completely why someone would do half the stuff Leo has done without gaining anything.

I remember your first days out of the lab. So young, so naïve. You needed a strong hand to guide you.

Yeah. But all we got was you.

Leo was the first real friend that any of the Davenport kids ever had, and only now did they start to realize just how good a friend is. Leo became more than a friend. He was their brother after all. There are very few friends or even brothers who give up their spare time to do half of what Leo has done.

Chase never really thought about how unique of a friend Leo is. Marcus and Sebastian made Chase feel bad and rethink his friendship with them, but never rethink the other people in his life. Now that Leo has left, Chase started to think why would Leo leave. It wasn’t like him to leave. Chase never expected Leo to leave… no one did.

You're the best surprise brother we've ever had. No offense, Leo.

Yeah, we still like you. You're just old news.

“Is that how we repaid Leo with? Calling him old news? I really am the worse brother in the world…” Chase thinks.

Chase wonders if maybe he was better brother and better friend then maybe he would still be here. Maybe if he believed in Leo more or trusted him more. Why did he have to drive Leo away?

***

Adam, Bree, and Chase have tried multiple times to try and get Leo to come back. He keeps saying no. Leo is just so stubborn sometimes. Adam has also started carrying around cardboard version of Leo. “Like that is good replacement for our brother… I wish… oh never mind,” Chase thinks.

Adam, get rid of that thing.

No! When real Leo watches from home, I want him to feel like he's still an important part of our team.

Have you lost your mind? This is not our brother, it's a piece of cardboard.

To make matters worse, Adam wants to bring that cardboard out of Leo off the island and into the real world. Chase wished that Adam would just get rid of that thing. Chase missed Leo too, but cardboard Leo is not a solution. Chase just wanted to have the real Leo back. Well, everyone wanted the real Leo back.

***

The past few weeks have been difficult and hard being away from Adam, Bree, and Chase. This is the longest they’ve been apart since they met. Leo knows he made the decision to leave and he stands by that decision, but that doesn’t mean living with that decision any easier.

When Taylor had called, Leo was glad to hear from her. He is still carrying guilt for what happened. He had hoped to hear how she was doing not that his family was in trouble.

I know you quit the team, but your family needs you.

If there is one thing to know about Leo it’s that if his family needs him then that’s exactly where he’s going to be no matter what it takes. Even though, he doesn’t feel worthy of being on the team right now, but that doesn’t matter. His family is trouble and needs him.

***

Leo, you have to let go or it's gonna take you with it.

I’m not letting go.

Chase wonders for a brief moment if the reason he wants Leo to let him fall was out of guilt for everything. Chase knows that stupid reason and he might need to talk to professorial if that really is his way of thinking. If he actually makes it out this.

When Leo finally reaches out and pulls Chase out of the limo, Chase feels like he finally sees Leo properly for the first time. In that moment, when Leo saves him, he doesn’t see his little brother, he sees a hero. Before, when Leo did something heroic Chase always saw his little brother acting as hero, but never as a hero. Chase wonders why out of all the times Leo has save him and their family is this the time he sees Leo differently?

Leo, you did it. You saved my life. Sorry I ever doubted you.

I'm just glad you're okay.

Leo meant what he said. He is just glad Chase is okay, not approve or anything else. That’s really matters right now, at least for now. Leo looks over at his brother. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other in person since he left the island and he almost had to watch him die.

Chase looks at Leo. He wants to tell Leo more than ‘I’m sorry I ever doubted you’. He wants tell him how much he regrets not being a better brother and friend to him and how he will be one now. He wants to tell Leo that things will be different now. He will respect him and will listen to him like he should have.

There is so many things that both Leo and Chase want to say. So many regrets and apologies that need to be said, but not now. For this moment, these two brothers hug. Its quick, but it means the world and is a silence message of ‘it’s all okay now’.

***

Not only is Leo back at the island, but because of his bravery and leadership on the bridge mission, I have officially made him a mentor.

Couldn't be prouder of you, buddy

After party/ceremony of Leo’s grand return, Leo found himself sitting alone in a random room of the island. Strange how much can change in so little time.

“Hey Leo,” Leo recognizes the voice as Chase’s. “Do you mind if I join you?” Leo shrugs and Chase sits down next him. “I know we haven’t had a chance to talk since you got back, but there are some things I want to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not okay. That’s the point.”

“What’s this about?”

“Leo, when you left the island, I did some thinking… and I realized that I should have been a better brother and a better friend. I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay. Chase, I let my need to try and prove myself get the better of me… and I got Taylor hurt. We both made mistakes. It’s over now.”

“I was still a terrible brother. I should have realized how much you hated being just a student and none of us taking you seriously.”

Leo is a little surprised to hear those words out of Chase. He didn’t think that Chase would even remember how much that bothered him. “I should have been better at telling what was going on sooner, but that’s all the past now. Forgive and forget?”

“You’re not mad?”

“No. Being honest, when I first got the island I was mad and I guess I didn’t stopped being mad until after I left this place. I was mad at you guys, Big D, this place— Well, you get it. I don’t think I ever truly stopped being mad I never really dealt with it and just let it fester until you know… I didn’t even realize how mad until the ceremony came up. The point I am making is that I am done being mad. I’m sick of it.”

“I am still sorry for everything.”

“I know and I forgive you. I should told you guys what was going on.”

“And we should have been willing to listen.”

“Looks, we could past the blame all day, so lets just forgive each other for everything and promise to do better?”

“Sounds good… so we really are good?”

“Chase, for crying out loud, you are my brother! That means I love you no matter what you do, so get used to it. Meaning we are good! You are forgiven!”

Chase and Leo laugh, then hug. Things have difficult these past couple weeks for this pair of brothers, but now it’s things are starting to look up. Leo is now a mentor and his three bionic siblings have newfound appreciation and respect for their brother, Leo. Every now and then, through life’s worst tragedies brings about some of the greatest the changes.

Author’s Note: This is first fanfic I’ve ever written diving into Chase mind. This fic started out as a short conversation with Leo and Chase after the rebellion, but I sort of got carried away when I thought what if On The Edge happened and we see them fall out and come back together. I have also long since had a document with Quotes from the show for photos edits and other stuff, so I just pulled from that to add the quotes in. I thought the quotes would be a fun way to further tie in Leo and Chase’s friendship throughout the show along with their falling out in On The Edge. The quotes are best view as the characters reflecting back on their own memories as that was my intention when I was writing. Yes, I did put references to Daniel’s episode due to Leo still being a student in that episode. I had also planned on dealing more with Leo, but didn’t as the fic was already so long. I know I also dealt with On the Edge another One-Shot not too long ago, but I just felt like making this. As y’all can tell On The Edge is a special I’m sort of obsessed with as I see as the big hooray of Leo and finishing of character arch. I honestly wish that was final of the show. Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy my LONG fanfic.

[swanpyart]

The Short Lived Adventures of RAPH and Casey Jones

This is an old pic that was made for a zine that was never published. So I’ll leave it here. It might not ever be finished, but I think the story is decent enough on its own.

Part 1:

Casey was completely fine by herself.

Sure, her parents never really paid her any mind, but she never needed them to; Casey was a fast learner, and was able to cook, clean, and do pretty much anything the adults could do.

“Look!” Ten-year-old Casey held up an English vocabulary test, with an “100%” written in the corner in cursive. “I passed!”

“Honey,” her mother barely looked at her from her seat at her desk, “One hundred percent is the bare minimum. Anything less means you practically failed.”

There was always an empty space in the bleachers whenever Casey had a hockey game. She would cross her arms as she waited for her parents to pick her up and watched as the people in the audience rushed down and hugged their own children after a game, regardless of whether they won or lost. When her parents finally showed up, she sat in the car quietly as they drove.

Casey spent almost everyday after school at her Granny’s while her parents were at work. The old woman’s house was always warm, mostly because she was always baking; cakes, cookies, and especially her famous brownies - made with a special ingredient.

At twelve years old, Casey had failed a math test for the first time, and burst into tears as she walked through her Granny’s front door. “I’m a failure!”

“Sweetie, everyone fails every now and then,” her Granny wiped a tear from Casey’s cheek and got out an antique mixing bowl, “but I can tell you tried really hard. That’s what matters; that you don’t stop trying your best.”

Afterwards, Casey and her Granny spent the afternoon baking brownies, and that was when she was granted the knowledge of the secret ingredient. She swore her secrecy and never told anyone.

Of course, that was a while ago; her grandmother had passed away sometime afterwards. Her parents reacted with more emotion when Casey had shaved her head than when they attended the funeral.

They also seemed only mildly surprised when, at thirteen years old, Casey was accepted into the Foot Clan and never came back home.

There, Casey promised to herself to show the world just how much of a not-failure she really is! Even if she had to work with the most vile Clan in all the world to achieve it and release the Shredder, the ultimate evil, unto the world. She had worked above and beyond to get where she is, and no one could stop her!

At least, that’s what she thought before the Shredder disappeared, and with him, the Clan’s purpose. And way before those strange, overgrown turtles with no sense of honor or discipline showed up and destroyed their chances, time and time again.

Suddenly, the group she had worked with since she was a preteen, and the closest thing she had to any family, were dragged away by outside obligations she never understood.

Foot Brute and Lieutenant were better parents than her own, but, in the end, they were her bosses and coworkers, and no replacement for a family.

Sure, everyone else may have given up, but she would stay committed to the Clan’s ultimate vision, even if she had to use her dear Granny’s recipe for evil. Grandma CJ’s Brownies were an absolute bust, but she had to try something.

Then, she met this weird, giant, smelly rat with a Japanese accent dressed like a teenager who somehow turned out to be the father of those overgrown turtles.

And, as weird as it was, despite not even being human, he sat next to her and heard what she had to say; and, for those few minutes, it was almost like being next to her Granny again.

“Just because you failed doesn’t make you a failure.”

If she had been smarter, maybe she should have listened a bit harder to what he was saying. If she had been smarter, maybe she would have calmed down and talked to the girl that was beating up the Girl Scouts. There were so many opportunities to just talk.

But then the Shredder was restored, and she really thought it would be the return of her Clan’s glory. Even as she looked at the beaten down forms of her previous bosses. Even as she saw Splinter and his family struggling for their lives. Even as she realized winning would mean the end of everything, including her.

There was no more Clan. She was still alone. She was just alone with a giant evil suit of demon armor.

But, now, she wasn’t.

Even after everything, Splinter offered her an invitation into their...

Family.

------------------------------------------------------

He had invited her to the lair a few weeks after the fight with Shredder.

“I’m working at the Foot Shack. After my former clan disbanded, they got bought out by another company, Splinter, sir.” She squeezed the mug of tea in her hands.

“Just ‘Splinter’ is fine,” Splinter had opened a bag of chips, and was reclining in his seat. The turtles were out with April at the arcade, taking a break from repairing the lair. “Where are you staying? Do you have a place to live?”

“Yes, I actually have my own apartment.”

There was a moment of awkward silence. Splinter sighed. “Listen, Casey, I know that it’s probably hard having to... uh, sort things out by yourself-”

“What?! No, I’m fine!” She flapped her hand dismissively. “My life is fantastic! It’s definitely not in complete shambles after losing everything I know.” She blinked, realizing that she overshared, and collected herself. “I’m doing great.”

“I-I never said it was in shambles,” He massaged his temple with two clawed fingers, his beady eyes squinting in frustration. “Look, all I am saying is that, if you ever need help, or if you ever get lonely and just want to talk, I am here. And my sons would probably say the same thing. You’re a Hamato now, at least in spirit.”

Casey’s eyes widened, then she looked down. “Thank you, but I’m a very independent person. I’ll be sure to not bug you unless it’s an emergency.”

Splinter nodded, but he’d dealt with enough children to see that Casey was a bit lonely. Still, he said nothing.

For a good while, Casey stuck to what she said; she didn’t really come by the lair unless she really felt the need to or if they needed an extra set of hands with repairing.

But… occasionally, she found herself asking questions. She found out Michelangelo loved cooking, and somehow he got her to agree to bake her Granny’s brownies together. She realized that Leonardo wasn’t just annoying in battle, but all the time, and that she started getting more and more used to it, even occasionally laughing along. She found out while playing video games with them, that Donnatello was just as vicious as her, and that April was equally as competitive.

And Raph, well… they didn’t talk very much. But he seemed nice every time they spoke.

But she kept her distance. After all, it was better if she didn’t get too attached.

She occasionally goes down to the local hockey rink and plays a few rounds with total strangers, and usually gets kicked out due to a combo of delinquent children and complaining parents.

So, here she is, lying on her bed, staring blankly at her phone, with a half eaten sandwich laying on her chest, and old sweatpants that she’s been wearing for a week because her clothes are in the laundromat. For a ninja-slash-ex-cult-member, her life had fallen into a fairly mundane pattern.

Everything could always be worse. So why did she still feel like such a failure?

And for some reason, Casey found herself at the sewer grate. She didn’t even know why she came here, really.

She was about to turn back when a feminine voice spoke from behind her. “Hey, CJ, what’s up?”

She spun around. It was April.

“I was just coming to visit.” Casey tensed up. She hadn’t expected to run into someone else.

“Oh, me too!” She opened up the grate, and started climbing down the ladder. “You coming or what?”

Casey gulped. She couldn’t back out now.

------------------------------------------------------

Raph paced the lair, quietly groaning as he tapped his chin.

It had been about six months since the fight with Shredder, but another challenge had presented itself; cleaning up the lair after it had been almost completely demolished. Thankfully, with Draxum’s help and Donnie being able to scavenge some old tech that didn’t get destroyed and whip up some devices for reconstruction, the place was finally fixed up after about a month and a half.

Now what? Well, in Leo’s words, it was the time for “rest and relaxation.”

That was pretty easy for the rest of his family to do.

Leo’s entire existence hinged on “rest and relaxation”; Mikey has an assortment of hobbies to keep him busy; Donnie had a tight schedule trying to repair all of his broken inventions; April was trying to adjust to all of the changes at school due to all of New York recovering from the recent Battle Nexus catastrophe; and Splinter, of course, was parked in front of the TV, finally at peace after the Shredder was defeated, and helping himself to milk and cake.

Raph should be relaxing, or at least recovering from all that’s happened to them. The fight with the Shredder was the most stressful and terrifying time of their lives. They lost their Gram-Gram, and even if she was now able to rest with their ancestors and her father, it still stung.

But it’s been such a long time since he’s been in a real fight, and he can tell he’s going a little bit stir-crazy.

Of course, the turtles would spend a lot of time out of the lair; but whenever Raph gets a call on the phone, he finds himself hoping it’s some kind of an emergency, only to turn out to be Todd calling them about the puppy farm, or Leo pestering Senior Hueso with an order for pick-up. It seemed like even their strongest enemies have gone on hiatus as well; there was no word of Big Mama as of late, and every other major bad guy they fought recently seemed to have been exhausted by the Shredder ordeal as well.

Raph’s usual sparring partner, Frankenfoot, is absolutely wonderful, but fighting him wasn’t exactly what Raph had in mind; it was fun, but couldn’t really be compared to the thrill of a real fight.

“Come on, guys,” Raph stood in front of the screen, blocking Leo and Mikey’s view of a Jupiter Jim rerun while Pops was passed out on the couch, snoring, a bag of chips lying open on his stomach. “We’ve been cooped up in the lair for a million years. Who wants to go wreck some bad guys?” He pounded his fist in his opposite hand for emphasis.

“Raph, I can’t see!” Mikey waved his hand in a dismissive way as he said it, and leaned to peek around his older brother and continue watching the screen.

“Ugh, we’ve been over this,” Leo exasperated from his spot on the ground, on his stomach and his head resting on his propped arms. “No crime fighting while we’re on vacation! This is the time to chillax, my guy.”

“How long are we gonna be chillaxing, exactly?” Raph put his hands on his hips, an inquisitive look on his face, even if, deep down, he knew what response he’d get.

“I don’t know, until some other crazy evil mutant guy tries to take over the city? There’s bound to be another one of those eventually.”

“What, so we just wait until some evil mastermind has some evil plan and gets all of New York in their evil clutches? It’s our job to make sure that doesn’t happen.” Raph tried to summon the energy he usually exudes when he attempts to make a rousing speech, but the rolling eyes and groans from his youngest brothers quickly made its effect futile.

“You know,” Donnie said from the back of the room, the other three having not noticed him walk in, “We did, oh, I don’t know, save all of New York City, take down Big Mama’s Battle Nexus scheme, and, most importantly, defeat our bloodline’s greatest enemy?!”

Raph furrowed his brow, his sharp fang digging into his lower lip.

“We deserve an indefinite break, and I need it, because I actually refuse to do any fighting until I have all my stuff back online. I’d love to fight with only my impeccable mind, but let’s be realistic.” The sandwich in his hand was brought to his face and he swallowed it whole. Donnie knew he had made an excellent point.

“Don’t worry,” Mikey beamed, tucking his arms and legs into his shell, “We’ll get back into the groove of things before you know it!”

“Yeah,” Leo agreed, “Think of it as, like, you know, self-care. Sometimes, you need a break from what you’re used to. Now, can you move out of the way?”

Raph sulked out of his siblings’ view of the screen and sunk into a beanbag, next to the couch their father was snoring in.

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“Hey, guys!” The turtles turn around to see April and... Foot Recruit walk in.

Raph didn’t really know what to think of Foot Recruit, or Casey, as she preferred to be called. Pops insisted that she wasn’t dangerous anymore, but it was hard for him not to be a little wary; I mean, come on, she used to work with the Shredder!

 She’d been over only a handful of times over the past few months, usually to speak with Splinter and Mikey.

“Casey! April!” Mikey stuck his hands out of his shell in joy. He ran over and hugged them both. “It’s been a while.”

“Hey, Apes. And, hi to you too, Casey.” Leo kicked his legs up behind him.

“Above ground has been pretty hectic,” April leaned on Donnie’s shoulder as she spoke, “Everyone has been freaking out about disappearing from New York for a few days. Relaxing on a yacht sure beats coming back to the city in shambles. And finding another job is so hard when everyone’s paranoid we’re gonna all disappear again. Ugh, I wish we did, then I’d get another break!”

“Well, if you want a job, you can help me repair what’s left of my s- I mean, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. The Shredder tore him apart.” Donnie put his hands on his hips and relaxed his posture to cover his slip-up.

“Aw, your cute robot son isn’t repaired yet?” April teased.

As the two bickered while walking towards the lab, Raph looked back at Casey, who was standing by the entrance, visibly tense. 

“Hey, Casey. Um, why are you here?” Raph asked innocently, not realizing how rude he sounded.

“Smooth,” Leo chimed in unhelpfully.

Before he could take it back, Casey spoke, with a glare on her face. “I’m here for the orange one.”

Raph blinked. “Huh?”

“We’re gonna bake brownies!” Mikey clarified, his chest puffed out with pride. “Casey decided that I’m worthy of learning an old family recipe.”

“Yes!” Casey grinned, in a way that was far too menacing for someone talking about brownies. “I decided that, as a new member of your- um…” clan? Group? Committee?

“...Family?” Raph assisted.

“Uh, yes, that,” she turned shy for a few brief seconds, only to return to her previous bravado, pumping her fist in the air, “I will honor you with the knowledge of my grandmother’s most nefarious secret!”

------------------------------------------------------

Raph peeked into the kitchen as Mikey and Casey got to work. Of course, he trusted Mikey; but he had a hunch that Casey might be up to something.

Or maybe the boredom was just making him a bit more paranoid than usual.

Dirty dishes, half-full cups and brownie mix were strewn about the kitchen counter. Whatever this recipe pertained, it must be pretty intense.

“And, now, for the final ingredient. This one was given to me by my grandmother.” Casey pulled a canister of brown powder. She leaned over and whispered close to Mikey’s head. Whatever she was saying, Raph couldn’t hear.

Mikey gasped. “PUMPKIN SPICE?!”

Casey shushed him, then yelled herself. “It’s a secret, remember?!” She poured a generous amount into the mixing bowl full of batter.

The two of them looked so happy baking together, and Raph felt a pit of guilt in his stomach for assuming the worst. He really needed to chill out.

------------------------------------------------------

“Wait, so let me get this straight,” Leo sunk into the bean bag chair, “You’re a fan of Lou Jitsu, right?”

“That is correct.” Casey was sitting stiffly in her seat. Her expressions were intense, like she was about to strangle someone, but Raph had realized pretty quickly that this was just her default.

“You have all of the movies memorized?”

“Of course! I used his guidelines for self improvement in my schemes to take over the world! I mean, that’s not really relevant now, but-”

“And you said you spend almost all of your available money on Lou Jitsu merch?”

“I hide them all so my guests don’t see.”

“And, yet, you’ve never watched a Jupiter Jim film? The Jupiter Jim, his longtime franchise rival and co-star in Jupiter Jim Vs Lou Jitsu?” Leo clutched at his chest, as he held up the DVD case of the movie he was talking about for emphasis.

“Leo,” Raph warned, looking up from his phone, “don’t make her feel bad-”

Leo chuckled. “Oh ho ho, trust me I won’t. I’m definitely putting on a Jupiter Jim Vs. The Galaxy Riders Part 1 and Part 2, and you are going to love it!”

Casey cackled ominously. “You really think this ‘Jupiter Jim-’” She made quotation marks with her fingers for emphasis, “-can measure up to the greatness that is Lou Jitsu? Fine, I guess we’ll just have to see.”

Raph ended up dozing off after the fifth film, and woke up to see Casey and his brother still openly debating whether Lou Jitsu would beat Jupiter Jim if they were both in a desert completely unarmed and at full strength.

------------------------------------------------------

“I’m not scared of much,” Donnie mentions offhandedly one day, while Raph was doing a bicep curl, “but she -”

He points to Casey eating a sandwich like a hyena, while April sat next to her, texting.

“She terrifies me to no end.”

Donnie’s strange relationship with their new friend took Raph a while to comprehend. Then it became clear as day. If anyone could match Casey in moral ambiguity, it was his immediate younger brother.

“I made you a little gift,” the softshell grinned smugly, as he handed Casey what looked like a metal hockey stick.

“Oh, um,” Casey's eyes were wide, and a little watery, and her lips were in a warbly smile. “Thank you… no one’s ever given me something so nice.”

Donnie grinned. “Press the button on the side.”

When she did, the widest end of the hockey stick flipped open like a lighter, and a stream of fire shot out of the tip. Casey’s tears of joy gave way to maniacal laughter. “Those kids at the hockey rink won’t know what hit ‘em!”

Donnie joined her in glee, his eyes and teeth shining menacingly in the light of the flames. Raph watched in mild horror (He was plenty used to Donnie’s antics), at least until the fire alarm sounded and they were all drenched from the sprinklers.

------------------------------------------------------

Another month had passed since Casey started coming around, and Raph seemed like the only one in the lair who hadn’t quite jived with her yet. Sure, his suspicion had pretty much subsided, and he liked her company plenty, but the two of them hadn’t really clicked.

However, he noticed some slight changes over time. Casey’s eyes had bags under them which were more obvious in brighter lights, and sometimes she fell asleep on April’s shoulder (and snored louder than his Pops, somehow). Sometimes, there were hints of sadness on her face, even when she was laughing along with everyone.

Raph didn’t mention it for fear of being rude, but he couldn’t help his concern. After all, if she was upset, she probably wouldn’t mention to him all of the people.

------------------------------------------------------

Hockey wasn’t a sport Raph and his brothers knew much about, but he couldn’t help but get excited as Casey gushed about it, holding tightly onto the treasured tech-hockey stick Donnie had gifted her, wearing a huge grin on her face.

The two humans and four turtles (disguised as humans, of course) were just entering the hockey rink. The hall to the auditorium was cold and echoey.

“I come here every other Friday. The regulars here know my face, and they fear it. It’s ‘cause they know I’ll decimate everyone in my path!” She pumped her fist as she spoke, a sinister grin on her face, before she caught herself and straightened out. “Well, I do until the rink’s supervisors kick me out for making a scene and being mean to children.”

“Don’t sweat it, Casey,” Donnie spoke up, “You’re not the only one whose been kicked out of establishments for scaring kids.”

“Uh huh, exactly!” April agreed a bit too eagerly, and Raph looked back to see the distant, traumatized look in her eyes, and he could tell she was remembering the screams of children and the  sinister laughter of animatronics at a certain pizza joint.

The six teens got to the rink’s auditorium, and put their bags down on the bleachers. There weren’t too many people around.

Mikey whistled. “This place is massive!”

As Raph put on a maroon hoodie and pulled on his skates, Casey rolled onto the rink, over to a huddle of teenagers wearing hockey gear. “Hey!”

One of the teenagers - a boy with messy brown hair covering his eyes - responded. “Oh, you again. Guys, look, it’s that crazy girl from last week.”

“The name is Cassandra Jones!” Casey pulled down the hockey mask she was wearing and held up her stick. “I’m challenging you to another round! Did you really think you’d escape my wrath?!”

The kids started laughing. “You challenge us every time we’re here, and you always lose. What makes today so different?”

Casey laughed. “Well, for one thing, I’ve got my own team now, so you better get ready to go crying to your mommy!”

The group hadn’t stopped laughing, even as Casey walked back to the bleachers. Raph raised a brow. “Uh, what was all of that?”

She looked down. “Those are my enemies,” She clenched her fists, “A group of jerks who manage to beat me every time I come here.”

Raph paused for a second. The look on her face was determined, but had a hint of sadness to it. Raph understood how she felt; wanting to fight, but getting beaten down time and time again. He’d realized a while ago that he didn’t have to do it alone; and neither did she.

Raph put an arm around Casey’s shoulders, and cupped a hand to his mouth, shouting to the teenagers from across the rink. “Hey, knuckleheads! You get ready for a match; you’re not just dealing with Cassandra Jones anymore! you’re dealing with the Mad Dogs, now!”

“Yeah, right!” One of the kids, a girl with a ponytail, shouts back.

He turned to face his brothers and April, who were sitting on the bleachers, their attention already on Raph from his shouting. “Hey, those guys over there are saying we’re gonna lose! What do we say to that?!”

“Oh ho ho, I like this energy!” Leo stood up on the bleachers, joining in the hype. April and Mikey stood up beside him.

“Yeah, you chumps aren’t even at our level!”

“Ya’ll ain’t seen nothing yet!”

Donnie stood up slowly, his arms crossed from the cold. “Yeah, we’ll definitely beat you! But-” He switched to his normal volume, “let’s not make promises we can’t keep.”

Raph dismissed him, and looked at Casey, who was smiling. Together, they were able to beat the Shredder. This would be a piece of cake.

------------------------------------------------------

“Are we done? My mom is here to pick me up,” One of the kids, a girl with pigtails, mentioned as she walked towards her belongings on the bleachers.

Raph was gasping for air from his spot on the cold ground. Hockey was hard. Like, really, really hard.

In hindsight, their loss made sense; this was the turtles and April’s first time playing hockey, and even Casey, who’d been playing since she was a kid, wasn’t able to beat these kids. They really were just that good.

“Is that all you’ve got?!” Leo had fallen in front of the goal, two huge purple bruises visible on his face; one on his forehead, and the other under his eye, popping out from his green skin and red birthmarks.  

Mikey was crying on his knees, while April patted his shell, cussing out one of the kids who she felt pushed him too hard. Even as the kid was walking away. “And another thing-”

Donnie lay flat nearby, looking like a purple stain on the white shiny floor. He was never good at sports, but he tried. Geez, it was almost more embarrassing, with just how hard he tried.

------------------------------------------------------

They found a vending machine, and after Raph gave Leo a cold soda can to hold over his bruises, he walked past Casey, sitting with her head in her hands.

“Hey,” He placed a hand on her shoulder, and looked around to see if the others were watching. April, Mikey and Donnie were going off about losing the match, while Leo sat dejectedly in the corner, nursing his injuries. “Are you alright?”

She looked up, tears in her eyes, and her lower lip wobbling. She hastily rubbed at her face with her sleeve, her eyeliner smearing. “I’m...I’m fine.”

“Is this about us losing?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” She sighed. “It’s a lot of different things- It’s just…”

She trailed off, and Raph sat down next to her on the bleacher. He realized this had definitely been bubbling up for a while. If only he’d talked to her sooner.

“Ugh, all I’ve ever wanted was to be a success. Taking over the world was everything for me- helping the Foot, working for the Shredder, making that whole brownie pyramid-scheme. But now? I don’t have anything. I’ve hit rock bottom. Now, I’m stuck in a stupid rivalry with a bunch of kids in a hockey rink.”

She began to cry again. “What am I going to do? Am I just doomed to be a failure?”

“Just ‘cause you’re not taking over the world doesn’t make you a failure. Most people just stick to regular, everyday stuff and they turn out fine.”

“It’s not just about taking over the world,” Casey sighed. “I don’t have a purpose. No Clan, no commitments, no future. It’s like everything I do is a failure. I’m a failure.”

Raph felt himself start to tear up, too. What she was saying felt way too familiar. “You’re not the only one whose failed.”

“Huh?”

“My Pops told us we were supposed to die in order to protect the Dark Armor. We failed to do that, but we realized how messed up that was, and we decided to do our own thing. And it totally worked out for us, ‘cause we ended up destroying Shred-face once and for all.”

He stood, wiping the small tears from the corners of his eyes. “Think about it. So what that you don’t got a purpose? I get it, but your ‘purpose’ was handed to you by those Foot-faces. What do you wanna do? What do you wanna succeed at?”

Casey sat quietly for a few moments, thinking, and Raph feared that he might have said something hurtful. He was never as savvy with people as Leo or Mikey.

Then she spoke. “I spent all of my life trying to be the best, even if it meant being the biggest bad guy in the world. Now, I want to be the best good guy!”

Her expression softened. “I guess what I really want - I want to stop people who were like me once. I want to stop evil people who want to control others. But...how?”

Raph thought. Then, an idea struck him. “You and me can team up!”

“For what?”

“I was a vigilante for a little while. I mean, I used to be, but I guess since I was already part of a team, and with the whole Shredder thing, I just sort of stopped. But, since my bros are on hiatus, you and me could fight crime undercover!”

Casey was looking at her lap, her head bowed. Raph cleared his throat. “I mean, only if you wanna, it’s just a suggestion-”

“That sounds amazing.” Casey looked up at him in awe, her dark eyes glossy with unshed tears. Suddenly, she stands up, and pumps a fist into the air. “Raph and Casey, the most feared vigilante duo in all of New York!”

“Yeah, Go big or go home!”  Raph pounded his fist into his other hand in excitement.

“Oh me gosh, stop yelling!” The two look behind them to Leo, still holding the can to his face. He turned in the direction of his twin. “Donnie, get me another can! This one’s warm!”

Casey was giving him a big smile, a far cry from her previous mood. Raph smiled back. Finally, he’d be able to go out and fight crime again; and this time, he wouldn’t be at it alone.

[ray-jaykub]

I want some more turt!dads hc’s. So what’s a moment for each pop where they felt that parental betrayal? Like when the kid says mom’s better at x y z or where they prefer to color with Uncle or Aunt.

I have not forgotten my children, some stuff has been going on and bro i just have to thank you and @eemoo1o for just hanging in with me during all this shit fest. Trying to get back into writing and this is the first try so im sorry if its iffy

Leo:

His boys would rather starve then eat anything Their dad cooks or gove them. No offense to dad of course but it just seems from the time they were being fed baby food they would just not take food from him! He didn't even have to make it, could literally be gurbers and they'd throw fucking fits. But as soon as mama bird or papa step in, Jailyn and Riley treat it like fine cuisine. You can imagine Leo at the same dinner table sitting there like that spongebob meme with the mug. If it werent for the fact that he compensates with bathtime Leonardo would be crushed but whose complaining with soap sud beards?

Raph:

He has the most kids (and wants another) so he really has to be bad at something if all three of his kids were able to agree. And that is bedtime. Raphael is the worst at it, he's got Richard that's afraid of the dark, Anastasia that needs five fricking stories before she's ready to nod off, and then Malikai who has to have the fan on, the door cracked, tucked in and all the works. So what Dear ol pops does is grab all three, toss them in bed shut the lights offf and shouts a collective 'love you' down the hall. So it's one of those nights where you're late home and he had just got the kids in bed when little Ricky just starts wailing. Dad's racing to see whats wrong

"What? What's wrong? What happend!"

*Incohherent sobbing and babbling*

"Come on bud what are ya saying"

"He wants ma! Yer bad at nighttime"

When you get home expect all four of them huddled up in your bed with every blanket around the place.

Donnie: (this was a hard one)

Caroline idolises her father, they're best friends and they couldnt name a single bad thing about the other. If anything she'd probably prefer him over you for something 😬 but there is one thing. Have you ever just wanted to rant just to rant? Like you don't need solutions you just want an ear? Well so does she and she'd do that with Donnie if it weren't for the fact that he is quite frankly a problem solver. It's what he does! And yes you can admit he does it with you sometimes to and everyone knows he means well but sometimes people just wanna complain. So although she rants to him about current obsessions and nerd shit she goes to you about her problems and yes it does sting a bit but Don's smart, he understands

Mikey: (this one was also really difficult(

Finn is a wild child, wilder then Michelangelo had ever been. Master Splinter has on numerous occasions wondered if maybe his youngest grandson was apart of some other realm. But that doesn't mean he would ever stop spoiling him! Anytime Michelangelo has tried to calm down his baby it's always "Papa would let me do it!" Or "papa let me have it last time" desperatley both of you have tried to get Master Splinter to stop and no matter how much he says he will but it's always the same case. He can't help it, finn makes him feel like his old self again sometimes, rat's getting old so just let him have this is all i can say

[remmushound]

Beyond the Bay chapter 1: Omen in the Lights

Authors note: I know I said this was only going to be posted on A03, but I have decided against that and made the choice to expand it to my regular postings on Tumblr; there will be three posts a week; Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

It was late September, the heat of summer waning to give way to the autumn chill that had started to sweep its way through the city. The first snowfall had yet to arrive, but with the cold settling over New York, it wouldn’t be long before the city was blanketed in white. The moon reached its peak in the night sky and was beginning its downward descent into the west; if anyone had been looking up at that moment, they would have seen something miraculous. A falling star, illuminated brightly in the inky purple sky. Falling to earth on a mission from the stars and crashing into the Hudson river, sinking below the surface, a blinking white light pulsating all the way down

~~~

Deep in the undersewers of New York, in the old tunnels that even the most experience sewer workers didn't dare to enter, was a world forgotten by all but the rats and the creatures unseen. The steady drip drip drip of distant, decaying pipes were to this world like bird calls were to the surface. A constant, steady drumming that ceased not night nor day. Sometimes, the soothing drips would be jarred by the rumble of something old, far beyond its best days, giving a groaning complaint of its age. Rarer still would be a crash that told of one of those ancient structures living its last moments before succumbing to the fate of collapse.

Other than that was the pitter-patter of tiny rodent feet as rats, this worlds most plentiful residents, went about their days searching for scraps on which to feast upon. Sometimes they’d come in swarms, all seeking to indulge in the same noxious smell that invaded their senses. Other times they came alone. But they were always there, mostly unseen, some were bolder than others. 

This day there was a noise other than the drip and scuttle and groan of everyday sewer life. There was the sound of motion, the steady echo of rubber bouncing off stone. The powerful strike of muscle against muscle, shell against shell. The sound of the biggest creatures to call the undersewers home, crashing against each other as they all fought over the basketball. Leo and Mikey vs Donnie and Raph.

The game went on for hours. Longer than any human game. Longer than any crash of giants on any continent. It went on for nearly eight hours before the self-set timer ran out and named Leo and Mikey the winners. The win, of course, was taken with very little modesty by the youngest brother. Leo was glad that, in his twenty-two official years of life, he had learned to tune out the incessant bickering of his two youngest brothers as Mikey boasted of his glory and Raph simmered in his defeat.

Still, even someone with as much patience as Leo Splinterson could only let the bickering go so far until he decided to intervene.

“Okay, okay, you both did well.” Leo got between his brothers, pushing Raph back just slightly. Mikey was more than happy to start hanging over Leo’s shoulders, still running that motormouth of his.

“Don’t feel bad, Raphie!” Mikey put extra emphasis on the childish nickname, “You may be a foot taller, but I gots an extra foot in the game brother!”

“Extra foot in the— that don’t even make sense!” Raph almost snarled.

“You don’t make sense!”

“That don’t make sense either!”

“Cool it.” Leo said finally, “The game was a good warm up for tonight's patrol.”

Those few words made the three younger Splinterson brothers melt into groans.

“What?” Donnie complained.

“No way!” Mikey groaned.

“Seriously?” Raph threw his arms out and then slapped them back down against his thighs.

“What?” Leo said, and then again louder, “What? We go on patrol every night!”

“But Leo, it’s our mutation day!” Donnie groaned. “And we’re exhausted! Plus, April made us that cake—“

“Which we can pick up after patrol.” Leo said simply. 

“But what about dad?” Donnie frowned. “You know he likes us to spend our mutation day together.”

“It’s just three hours.” Leo said. “We’re ninja first, always. You know that. Dad will understand.”

Leo turned to leave, the frustrated mutterings of ‘no fair’ and ‘just had to ruin a good thing’ falling on his deaf ears. He didn't turn around; he already knew his brothers were following him, no matter how they dragged their feet or complained. This was their duty, mutation day or not. He couldn’t stand the thought of missing even the smallest occurrence that could cost them greatly in the long run. Shredder hadn’t been seen since Krang’s very temporary control over the city, but that didn't mean the Foot Clan wasn’t still active and preparing to strike. They had to be ready.

The patrol went by with little difficulty. Everything they saw were the same, normal things they’d seen in the weeks before. Men and women stumbling drunkenly home after a night out; the brothers, of course, would follow the latter to ensure she got home without trouble before going on with the patrol. Other than the women they escorted home, they also witnessed the average amount of drug deals taking place and teens sneaking out of their bedroom windows, and homeless trying to keep warm as they prepared for another long, hard winter; Donnie made sure to slip every single one of them a twenty. Whether they would use it for drugs or food was up to their discretion. Donnie didn't care either way. Who was he to judge?

Raph’s whistle stopped the brothers. Two sets of blue eyes and one set of green turned to him as the team fell to still silhouettes. Raph jerked his head toward an alleyway across the street, and four silent shadows passed over the lamp-lit road. Leo’s eyes scanned the area in its entirety searching for anything that could tell of trouble. Anything out of order. He heard three sets of breaths, not counting his own. No voices. No scuffling that didn't come from his brothers. Still he took in all the tiny details that tied together like an intricate spider web. 

Down in the alley, he saw, was a woman, her hair grayed and wearing a sleeping gown. There were no shoes on her feet and no caregiver in sight, and every step of the elder was slow and shaky. Her voice came through the alley in a language he couldn’t understand, so he turned to Donnie for further confirmation of what he was sure he already knew. Donnie listened to the words carefully.

“Guys, I think she’s lost.” Donnie said, flicking his goggles down over his glasses, “Her vitals are stable, but its freezing.”

“What’s she saying?” Leo asked.

“Uh… she’s asking for help.” Donnie said. 

“Should we go down there?” Mikey asked innocently, looking up to Raph.

“What, and scare her outta her skin?”  Raph asked, showing his canines.

“We can’t just leave her!”

“We ain’t gonna, doofus!”

“Donnie—“ Leo started.

Donnie held up his finger for silence as he started to pace the length of the rooftop, speaking into his headset. “Hi, yes, this is Donatello. You know, giant turtle, four eyes. There’s this old lady here…” He went on to relay their location and explain the situation further. His conversation with the authorities lasted only a few minutes before he ended the call. “Police are on their way.”

Leo nodded. His eyes had never left the alley or the wandering lady as she continued to call out. They stayed there waiting, watching her until the police arrived and even after that, making sure the old lady was safe in the police car being driven home. Only then, sure of the lost woman’s safety, did they continue with their patrol. They didn't get very far however before Mikey stopped and gawked at something.

“Woah!”

“What is it?” Leo asked. He followed Mikey’s gaze into the night sky and felt his jaw drop. 


Donnie looked up next, and then Raph; the former took a long, wheezing gasp while the latter remained silent in his awe.

“What in the fabric of time is that?” Donnie asked.

“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!” Mikey beamed, “And I’ve seen April!”

“Glad we came out now, aren’t ya?” Leo smirked, elbowing Mikey in the side.

“Yeah…” Was all Raph was able to say.

It was like all the painters in the world had gotten together, pallets in hand, to pain the sky in streaks of gold and pink and cerulean. Colors bright and bold, melting into each other like a mixing bowl of everything beautiful in the world. A field of flowers woven into the heavens. The lights over the sky rivaled the brightness of the city itself, and in beauty, New York could never compare.

After their night of patrol and a quick stop at April’s to indulge in delicious, homemade cake, the brothers returned to the lair. Long strides carried Donnie past his father, Splinter’s words of welcome met with a mutter and quick departure. The rat only laughed and shook his head, for of course the first thing his second oldest would want to do after a night of work was to head immediately to his lab for more work. After all, when Donnie’s thoughts hardly let him sleep, it was always good to get some extra studying in. He had to keep up to date with all the latest news, even if it had only been a few hours since he had last checked. Raph stayed around just long enough to give his father a half-hearted hug before hurrying off to his room, and Mikey jumped over the old rat like he were an obstacle on the way to the kitchen. Leo was the only one to return Splinter’s welcome home greeting with a greeting of his own, immediately sitting lotus-style before his master to give a report on the night's events.

Pulling up articles to scan for anything interesting, Donnie was immediately flooded with several dozen headlines on the same subject: the beautiful light-show currently swallowing the New York City sky. Some of them were calling the lights a second Aurora Borealis, while other papers said that rockets or satellites were to blame. In fact, most every paper had a different story! A different theory of origin for the sudden glow. When the turtles had witnessed it on their patrol, it had taken such a long time for them to pry their eyes away from the beautiful canvas; even Leo had fallen victim to the painting in the sky! Along with the headlines, Donnie pulled up an influx of videos and pictures documenting the strange occurrence from all angles of the city, some even joined with reports of a meteor crashing into the harbor. Donnie had seen no meteor, but that didn't mean there wasn’t one!

“Hey.” Mikey, as air-headed as he could be, never failed to somehow always sneak up without Donnie hearing him. The box turtle leaned his full weight on his brother's chair, shoving handfuls of Cheetos into his mouth and crunching loudly in Donnie’s ear. Crumbs fell from his open maw as he chewed enthusiastically. “S’mething cool happen?”

Donnie growled and yanked his chair out from under Mikey, snickering as the youngest brother was just barely able to catch and right himself. 

“You know there is Mikey; we saw it!” Donnie said, scooting his chair back in while dusting it free of crumbs. “Every article here is talking about those lights we saw! No one knows what they are!”

“They’re cool is what they are.” Mikey said, nodding his head and swallowing his mouthful before saying, “Do they have a cool name yet? Bet they have a cool name.” He pointed at the screen with his pinkie finger as he cracked open an orange energy drink and started to chug it.

“Everyone’s calling it something different.” Donnie reported, “But whatever they end up calling it, it’s beautiful. Something like this is a once in a life time experience!”

“Isn’t everything in our lives?” Mikey asked, followed by a burp.

“I guess.” Donnie snickered, “But there’s no telling if these lights will be there tomorrow night! I… I really wish I’d documented it, but I was just… too busy thinking of all the possibilities!”

“I know what that’s like.” Mikey nodded.

“It could be a solar event, or a chemical reaction, or a whole new phenomenon—” Donnie whined as his fingers worked quickly to pull up the most recent reports. “According to these, the lights are still there… and it’s just barely four-thirty.” He pressed his lips tightly together and tapped a pattern on his desk, “M...maybe if we hustle, we could still get some decent pictures before day breaks.”

Mikey nodded and smiled. “We totally could, dude.”

“Yes!” Donnie stood up, rushing past Mikey and started to reassemble his gear, pulling cameras and recordings and notepads— he brought three, just in case— and his goggles too. He could never leave home without his goggles! “We could and we are!”

He grabbed his good camera, a big bulk of a thing the size of his head, and pushed his way past Mikey.

“Are we going somewhere?” Mikey asked.

~~~

They were cutting it close. Very close. But Donnie couldn't pass up the opportunity to get at least a few decent pictures. The ones already posted to the internet by awed humans were one thing, but to get the pictures on his own, from the vantage of the highest buildings, was something else entirely. Donnie could only hope that the solar event would take well to the filters of his camera.

“Just a few more pictures.” Donnie promised Mikey as he set up his camera for another great angle. “Then we can head home.”

“Okay.” Mikey’s response was automatic, the words little more than jargon to the younger brother. No doubt Donnie thought the other turtle bored out of his mind, but it was the exact opposite really. Mikey was so focused on the lights in the sky that his mind wouldn’t let him think of anything else. 

They were so beautiful, flashing and blipping in and out of reality with a mind of their own! Mikey rubbed his eyes. He wanted the lights to stay but they kept leaving. He was desperate to reach a hand out, believing he could touch them the little blips he tried, but his arm refused to listen.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Donnie asked. He snapped another picture of the lights, glad they hadn’t left yet; even with the brightening sky they were just as vibrant and visible as ever. Mikey didn't respond, but that went unnoticed by Donnie being too focused on his current task. “Wonder what it looks like from space!”

Mikey laughed. He laughed but he felt tears on his cheeks. The shinobi whined and lifted his left hand to rub his opposite arm as he felt goosebumps start to dance up the length of his body; at least the left one still listened, he figured, unlike the right one that was like dead weight. But the lights were too beautiful to care, and they were getting brighter too! Closer it seemed. Mikey forgot about his goosebumps as he reached up to touch the colors that started to dance all around him. They felt solid and hot, like burning metal— like he was touching the same stars that started to dance in his head!

Mikey’s lack of response was finally noticed by Donnie. The mutant peeked up from his work to glance at Mikey, groaning with the belief that the turtle had wandered off after a cat or another pizza pigeon. The belief was unfounded and replaced with confusion when he found his younger brother still there, right where he had been when Donnie last checked, still staring. His eyes seemed glassy and that made Donnie tilt his head. The technician’s eyes trailed downward to Mikey’s arm, which looked uncomfortably stiff, muscles bulging and veins defined as if he were under great strain.

“Mikey?” Donnie asked, setting his camera down to take a step closer to his brother. “Are you alright?”

Mikey smacked his lips together as pure heat flooded his mouth, like he had just swallowed a handful of peppers. Shadows were around him, speaking words he couldn’t hear, but they were so familiar to him that he tried to respond.

“Fer… repub… not… don’t like....” Mikey tried. His words came out wrong— that wasn’t what he wanted to say! He tried it again. “Great...er...ggg…”

“Mikey!” Donnie ran forward, wrapping strong arms around the ninja’s shell when Mikey began to slump forward, almost enough to fall off the edge he was standing on. Donnie yanked him back, pulling Mikey to fall back onto the roof instead; Donnie’s body worked to soften the fall for the other turtle as they both went down, the older cradling the younger.

The lights were still there, still overhead, and still blinking their toxic song.

[angelaiswriting]

Closer | Hugo Stiglitz x fem!reader

✏️ Pairing: Hugo Stiglitz x fem!reader

✏️ Summary: stranded in a spooky village, Stiglitz confesses his feelings, but she’s caught off-guard and panics. Back at the base, though, she’d like to see where the future takes them. (Requested by my new and unexpected love for this man)

✏️ Prompts by peaskyblonders (link below): # 4, 5, 7, 19, 20

✏️ A/N: the truth is, I should write more blowjobs instead of fearing new fandoms. HAHA. Italics are supposed to be German (unless it’s for emphasis). Prompts used are in bold. Kudos to @kind-wolf​ for throwing this new obsession at me without warning 💛 Also, please, for the love of all that is holy, listen to Closer by Kings of Leon (it probably has close to nothing to do with this story, but I had it on loop as I wrote and it’s absolutely stunning  – and it did give me a title in a time of need).

✏️ Warnings: 18+ ONLY (oral m/r, sex... haha + mentions of a bullet wound and of someone who’s not a pro poking around in it + plot... eh, kinda there, kinda a decoration lol)

✏️ Word-count: 4,785

“Stop whining, it’s just a bullet!”

The voices in the room gradually quiet down to a churchyard silence when Y/N groans, surgical pliers still poking around in the hole in Smithson Utivich’s leg and face set into a frown. English sounds weird on her tongue, almost cut down with the wrong kind of knife, and there’s no safe hiding place for her German origins.

‘It’s just a bullet’ in my fucking leg – they all know those are the words Utivich was about to spit out like burning venom before he opts for the safest solution, the one that lies in silence. There’s a reason if her German accent keeps on being so prominent when she speaks English and that’s because she just does not speak English unless she absolutely has to. She’s more similar to Stiglitz in this than anyone would ever dare express out loud – she either speaks German or French, or she doesn’t speak at all.

“I should leave it in here,” she mutters again when Utivich’s leg jolts up and someone – Andy – has to step forward and keep it pushed down on the table. “You’d deserve it, stupid idiot.”

“It was an accident,” Smithson mumbles, voice low and full of embarrassment. Just half an hour ago he had been outside by a fire, drinking with the guys, until Donny convinced him to play some trick with what should have been an unloaded gun. “And you don’t have to take it out, we can wait for Wicki.”

When the door opens, everybody turns into its direction holding their breath, but it’s not Wicki.

“What happened here?” Aldo asks, brows set into an unconvinced frown as his gaze lands on Utivich first and then Y/N.

“Stupid Americans, that’s what happened.” But then she sighs, shrugs her shoulders, and pulls the bullet out of the man’s wound. “Children shouldn’t play with guns,” she glares. “Someone get off their ass and go call a fucking nurse.”

When half the men in the room scramble out, almost stepping on each other’s feet, Aldo Raine steps forward. He’s expression is set and unreadable as he examines Smith’s leg and a couple of minutes go by before he speaks again. “I need you and Stiglitz on a mission. I have an informer down south that says there’s a couple of Nazis you two might have the pleasure to take out.”

*

“How’s our exit?” Stiglitz asks, crouching down next to Y/N and taking the binoculars she’s passing him. She’s tense and he can see right through her façade, right through that ‘I don’t fear this has all gone to shit’ mask she’s been wearing for the past few days.

“Still no sign of our guy,” comes her whisper when he finally brings the field glasses to his face and stares off into the distance. “I’m scared, Stiglitz,” she confesses right after, before that temporary bravery stops her from opening up like that. “I have a bad feeling about this. It’s the same I had the day we got arrested.”

He says nothing to that, just stares at the horizon for another minute before he hands her back the binoculars and moves to sit down, his back against the wall of the abandoned house. It’s a spooky village, the one they’re using as their hideout, and the temperature during the day has already started to scratch like an angry cat. Winter is approaching quickly and right there, in the skeleton of what was once somebody’s home, there’s no running away from it.

“I should have gone myself,” she goes on as she scoots closer to him in search of some warmth. “Raine doesn’t know how these people work. You just can’t trust them. He thinks he can, but…” Her rambling dies down and he knows she’s thinking back to that night she’s had to take a bullet out of Utivich’s leg. He doesn’t know how he knows, he just does. He’s worked with her long enough to just be able to understand how her mind works.

“We’ll get back.” It sounds like a promise on his lips and whether he means it as such or not, it’s met with a soft sigh as she relaxes against his side, her head falling back in surrender against the wall. We’ll get back, the words echo in his mind and he does his best to believe them like she at least pretends to.

Neither of them says it out loud, but that’s why they’ve always worked solo – or just with each other after they met back in Bavaria. They’re good at this, good at driving Nazis out, and even better at taking them out. Not as good as the Basterds consider them, but they get the job done and move on to the next name on the list. They jump from name to name and never collab with anyone – or so it used to be before their arrest. Now they’re made to trust other people and that’s just not what they’re used to. You don’t go trust the next person; you don’t lay your life in their hands if you don’t know who they are and what they’ve done to survive.

“You should try and get some sleep,” he says when her stomach complains. Had they known how things would go, they would have packed more food. But they’ve had to ration what little they managed to stash into their backpacks before fleeing the town Raine had sent them to, and now they have to face the consequences. “I’ll keep watch, wake you up in a few hours.”

The old boards of the parquet creak under his boots when he stands up but it almost feels like those are his bones, turned cold and brittle by the still young winter. It’s surely not that long, but the last time he’s laid down feels like it belongs to a past life. A split second before he takes the first step forward, toward one of the rifles they left in a corner of the room with their stuff, her fingers wrap around his wrist and he’s rooted to the spot.

“How long has it been since you slept?” She tugs his arm when she stands up, inhaling sharply when half of her weight comes to rest on the foot she sprained the day before. And even though she’s been trying to shrug it off – because that’s what she does: she clenches her jaw and moves forward, that’s how it’s always been and probably how it always will be – he knows it’s been bothering her every time they move.

And much like her, he shrugs his shoulders once, frees his hand from her gentle grasp, and moves to pick his rifle up. It’s always a comforting weight in his arms but as he peeks from the empty hole that had once been a window, the heavy clouds in the sky make it feel like some sick kind of doom.

“Don’t do this, Stiglitz. Don’t close me off again.”

He doesn’t turn around when he corrects her – Hugo, not Stiglitz.

You never let anyone call you that – that’s what the look in her eyes tells when he eventually turns around and finds her staring at him. He’s been with her long enough and after a while, you just start reading people. All the unspoken words are paint strokes on a face that’s better than an open book; on a face that’s more like a canvas.

“Hugo.” The smile that stretches her lips is the tired shadow of what he knows could fool Nazis before he stepped in, his weapon of choice in his hands. “You go to sleep. I’m fine, really. By the looks of it,” she continues, hinting at the sky with a movement of her head as she stretches her arm out for him to hand her the rifle, “no one will come: it’s going to start snowing soon.”

*

He wakes up to a snow-clad scenery outside the open window – and to snowflakes dancing in the chilly air a few meters from him, in that opening (one of many) nobody’s stuck around long enough to fix. The snowflakes flutter as they fall, and it almost looks like white flour. It’s been a while since he last saw flour with his own eyes and that’s what tears him from the cozy embrace of slumber and brings him back to reality.

The smoky tendrils of a past life still alive in his dreams are still caressing the edges of his mind, though, faint echoes that mix together into unintelligible whispers. They stuff him with cotton and he needs a few minutes to feel the hard floor underneath his back, the chilly air biting at his cheekbones and nose.

There’s enough light for it to be day already and as that realization dawns down on him, wrapped as he is in his cold blanket, he jolts up to sitting.

“No one came, I told you.”

His head turns to the side so quickly he gets whiplash.

“And it snowed all night.” Her eyes are sunken in, her eyelids heavy with missed sleep and the constant worries that are gnawing at her from the inside and from which he still hasn’t managed to distract her. Shoulders weighed down by an invisible weight, she looks smaller and less dangerous than she really is.

“You didn’t wake me up.” His voice is still drowsy; the words don’t roll as freely on his tongue, so the accusation comes out as a simple observation.

She smiles. I never said I would, the faint twinkle in her eyes seems to say. “We’re waiting one more day,” she decides as she comes to a stand, stiffened hands still holding onto the rifle she’s hugged to her chest like a child the whole night. “But tomorrow at dawn we’re leaving, I don’t care about Raine’s spy.”

Silence settles again between them when she sits down next to him, in the corner further away from the chilly winds outside. They share her last chocolate bar, something she’s clung on to ever since she won it at poker more than two weeks ago. He stares at her as she eats, her head resting against the wall and her eyes closed. There’s a tear trickling down her cheek and it takes the dust that has settled on her skin away.

“I think I might be falling in love with you.” His confession hangs in the air, in the closed space between them. And all he can do is stare as that tear slowly rolls down her cheekbone. He can’t even remember when the last time he ate chocolate was and now that he has a piece in his hands, he can’t even chew on it.

Her eyes open slowly and she looks at him almost from underneath her lashes, her head still tilted back and at an angle. For the first time, he can’t read them as they focus on him, bore right into him.

He’s a man of few words. He opens up, but only with the right people and only so much. And he knows she’s just the same – bad at opening up, but not at talking – she talks maybe too much at times and while it would annoy him if it were someone else, he’s alright with her babbling on and on. About the weather, about the next target, about how stupid people are, how hungry she is, but never about before. Who she was, what she did, where she lived, whom she loved – those are still well-guarded secrets, and Stiglitz is not one to pry.

“Don’t.” She swallows hard eventually, almost as though she’s trying to swallow down her voice – or his confession. “There’s a war out there.” Her eyes move to his right, to the blown-open window behind him on the opposite side of the room. “People are dying.” Her jaw clenches and as she swallows, he sees her struggle, her attempt at not crying. “If something happens…”

He sits in silence, eyes set on her as hers try to avoid him. They do their best but ‘their best’ doesn’t seem to cut it, not this time.

“We fuck, that’s it. Just… fuck, from time to time.” It’s a whisper and her lower lip quivers as his words still shake her bones. When did war stop being scary? When did love become something to fear? Neither of them knows. Was it the first time they killed? The first time they enjoyed it? The moment they understood they had to keep on doing it in order to survive?

When she turns to look at him, it’s a desperate animal the one sitting in front of him. Her eyes beg him to stop, to take it all back, because they both know where that if something happens is bound to end. And it’s not six feet under, but rather, somewhere up there, on the surface; face up or face down into the mud, it doesn’t really matter. Maybe that’s what brought her to murder, he reasons for a second; maybe she’s lost someone she loved and that turned her into a spy and a murderer that knows no mercy.

Her hand is trembling as it digs into the pocket of his jacket, the one where she keeps cigarettes – they’re usually for him, but she never turns down a smoke, either. He knows it’s empty, for they smoked their last one two days ago, a crumpled up cigarette that seemed to last less than a minute that day.

“I’ll check the perimeter,” he eventually says, laying the last of his chocolate bar in her hands. He doesn’t meet her eyes, doesn’t utter another word as he takes the revolver from his pallet and leaves the room.

*

Three days later they’re both back at the camp base – no resentment between them, just the usual, content silence of two people that don’t always need to talk to work just fine. But while everything seems normal on the surface and they both enjoy the welcome-back celebrations at the tavern, they’re both lost in their own thoughts.

Hugo has stopped thinking about the fact that maybe he made a mistake when he confessed his feelings to her.  Because she was right – there is a war out there, and it’s not even that far away, no matter how distracting the passing of shots of alcohol might now be. He stopped being a sentimentalist years ago, but if there’s a conclusion he’s come to, it’s that it’s better to spend your last days next to the people you love than running away from them.

There’s a couple of occasions in which he almost told her that.

The first was when they found a working telephone. Clothes soaked by snow and weapons now heavier than their backpacks, they sat in that empty house for hours, after calling one of Raine’s safe numbers, some French family collaborating with the Allies on the other end of the line. He had fixed the makeshift splint keeping her ankle in place and had reasoned, for the first time, that she shouldn’t have come, not this time.

The second was when they got back and the nurse managed to take her in only after the debriefing. She had smiled a I’ll find you later as Wicki dragged him away and the first thought his mind could form had been that he was glad that she seemed to always be able to find him anywhere.

But even though they’re sitting right next to each other now, shoulder pressed against shoulder as everyone seems like they want to sit at the same table, he can’t turn around and shake her awake. Why would he, though?

“We thought we’d never see the two of you again!” Donowitz is tipsy already and he doesn’t seem to notice how his drink sloshes out of his glass every time he moves his arm to gesticulate as he speaks. “Fucking bastards! You have nine lives, just like cats!”

Wicki’s laughter seems to drown out the roaring of the celebrations when he laughs. “I told them you’d both come back on your legs, still breathing,” he chuckles in German.

Y/N joins Wilhelm’s burst of laughter and then turns to her left and smiles up at him. It’s a weird thing, it reaches her eyes more than it does her lips and she seems on the verge of saying something before she shakes her head once and finishes her beer.

*

It’s midnight when she knocks at his door. Her knocking seems to echo through the whole once-abandoned house the Basterds converted into a place to stay, at least temporarily, for everyone’s still out drinking the winter away.

“I didn’t mean to turn you down,” are the words that greet him when he opens the door. He’s still only half-dressed after the bath he’s finally managed to take. “Back in that house. I got scared at the idea of something that might not even happen and I’ve spent the past few days thinking about what a gigantic fool I’ve been when I said those things. You took me off-guard because I thought I’d never love again, but…” She breathes in sharply and looks up at him, stares right into his eyes for the first time as she realizes she’s been rambling again. “Can I come in?”

Hugo nods and takes a step to the side before closing the door behind her. “You don’t have to say anything. I understand.”

“Oh, you and Wicki have a heater.” It’s soft and he almost misses it, but it’s gone before he can reply and she’s already back on the topic she’s most likely come to discuss. “I don’t know what I feel for you.” She doesn’t turn around when she speaks. Instead, she holds her hands close to the stove and sighs under her breath before she squares her shoulders again. “But I would like to find out, when we win this war. A while after you left, Raine started talking about how we’re all going to America when we take out the High Command and I realized that I could leave all of them behind but I couldn’t leave you.”

“I never considered the idea of leaving before.” He moves to stand next to her and hangs the towel he’s used on one of the hangers above the heater. “But we could,” he nods, turning towards her.

She’s looking at him this time, tired eyes staring at him from an even more tired face. But before she can add anything, he pulls her in and kisses her. He’s always preferred actions over words – words can be misinterpreted, but some actions…

Her hands are trembling when they move over his hips and then up his back, over the scars ridging his skin. She’s one of the few who’ve seen them – he’s not ashamed of them, but he does feel weird at the idea of showing them to others. It felt natural with her, though, almost as though they weren’t even there to begin with, the first time they slept together fully naked. It just, happened, it fell into place like anything else about her. She just fits in his arms, to his side, and when he’s inside her, his hips grinding against hers as they both lose themselves into each other and forget for a few precious moments what their survival revolves around.

“How’s your foot?” he asks in between kisses when he picks her up to lay her down onto his bed.

“Foot’s fine, don’t worry about it,” she laughs, her tone getting louder when he just drops her onto the mattress. Her laughter dies down when he settles between her legs, props himself up above her, his nose barely brushing hers. She smiles as he observes her, swipes his gaze across her features and breathes her in.

He contemplates saying something, but whatever innocence he had left at the beginning of his story has been swept away with his words by the things he’s done. He only moves when she speaks again – Kiss me, Hugo. That he does; he leans down and presses his lips against hers for a moment before his tongue comes out to swipe along her lower lip.

Her knuckles brush against his chest every time her hands move as they unbutton her shirt, a too-big garment she’s been given by God knows who. By the time she’s reached the last button and his mouth has moved down along her jaw and her neck to kiss her chest, she’s panting lightly, her hands wrapped around his biceps as he smiles against her skin.

She’s warm and smooth, even though there are irregular scars marking her skin. Just like his, they never matter, and even less when they get into bed together. His fingers just caress her and she this close to him is the only thing that truly matters in this moment. He kisses her collarbones, nudges his nose against the side of a breast before he allows himself to close his eyes and take a nipple into his mouth.

He feels the moan more than he hears it, it vibrates deep into her chest and almost buzzes against his lips as her fingers rake upward through his short hair. There’s a breathy moan of his name before his kisses and licks move lower down.

“I know for sure that I’m falling in love with you.” He’s serious when he says it, fingers fumbling with the button and zipper of her pants. Then, as he drags them down her legs with her underwear, he smiles at her. Sometimes he thinks that he only remembers how to smile when she’s around, almost as though she’s always able to swap his grimace with an actual sign of happiness.

She smiles back at him – at his words, at how caringly he removes her left boot, almost as though his only priority is not to revive the dull pain in her ankle. And then at how he covers her body once again, at how he looks down at her with that unreadable expression of his that just makes her fall for him a bit more every time.

It’s not love – she doesn’t want to call it love, but it sure does make her feel all warm inside as it tugs at the corners of her mouth even now, with her fingertips lightly tracing the lines of his face. Forehead, cheekbones, jaws, and then his lips, and he smirks when she outlines them.

When she pushes him onto his back and she moves over him, straddles his thighs, it’s sudden and unexpected, but surely not unwelcome, and he lets her do. His hands move up her thighs and hold onto her hips, and her bare body above him somehow makes his heart swell with pride. A thought crosses his mind, but it lasts only for a fraction of second before she leans down and pecks his lips once, and then once more – yeah, he could do this all day every day, even in America, if it means staying by her side.

Her lips trail down the column of his throat, then, before moving to the crook of his neck. She kisses and suckles as she grinds down against him, and he doesn’t care if he’ll have marks tomorrow – he won’t, because they’re both careful, but one day he’s sure he will – and she will as well.

She says something then, something he doesn’t catch, before she takes his hands in hers and moves further down his body, leaves kisses all over his chest and belly. For a moment, they both giggle, and she looks up at him with those eyes of hers that just, make him forget about the war and the Basterds and anything in-between.

She’s quick at unbuttoning his pants, but not so much at taking them off his body. She takes her time, and the lower she pulls them, the more kisses she leaves on his navel and then thighs. It’s funny and sexy at the same time, and when he’s fully naked and she’s kneeling between his legs again, that’s truly all he craves for at the moment.

“Come here,” he says, but she shakes her head, a smirk tugging at her lips, and bends down towards him.

He’s hard in her hands and when her lips press a kiss to the underside of his dick, he groans in the back of his throat. The muscles in his thighs tense when she takes him in her mouth, and his exhale is shaky as he does his best not to move his hands over her head.

It’s slow and slippery as she focuses on the head of his dick – suckles and kisses and licks, before taking him deeper every now and then, her hand slowly working the rest of his erection. Hugo Stiglitz is rarely ever vocal in the bedroom, but when someone – when she – is going down on him…

“Fuck.” Quick and breathy, almost like a half-formed word, that ‘fuck’ leaves his lips when she moans around him.

His breath almost hitches in his throat when she pulls up and smiles at him while repositioning to straddle his thighs again. He’s still in her hand and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring himself to look away from that sight. It lasts less than he thinks it does, though, because before he has the time to move his hands over her hips again, she’s sinking down on him.

She’s warm, and wet, and when she rests her left hand on his chest to balance herself as she takes all of him into her, her hands are wet.

His hips thrust up at the mental picture of her fingering herself and as he does so, she almost loses her balance. They both giggle, but when he moves to sit up, she pushes him back down and grinds her hips against his.

“Stay down,” she whispers against his skin, lips brushing right next to his left nipple before she leaves a kiss there.

The rhythm she sets is slow and sensual, something neither of them is used to – or has been used to for a while, now. It’s a nice change compared to the usual, almost-too-quick routine that’s just hunger and desperate, desperate need. It’s good, and Hugo Stiglitz finds himself relaxing underneath her, for once, hands moving from her hips to her back when she presses herself down against him. His hips start thrusting up into her, and he does his utmost best to keep it just as slow, but the feel of her around him just drives him delirious. 

Her lips latch onto his pulse point again and when she starts licking and sucking, he swears his temperature spikes up. His head leans back into the pillows, neck almost arching, and his thrusts get quicker and snappier the tighter he holds her against himself. Her breathing grows shorter and every time he thrusts up, he can hear as her moans get stuck in her throat.

It’s a while later that the door creaks open and Wicki slurs Stiglitz’s name in his drunken, post-celebratory state. Hugo hums in acknowledgment, but his eyes are closed and there’s still a smile on his lips.

“Hugo,” Y/N whispers against the side of his neck, still naked and still laying between his arms, one leg thrown over his hips as his own leg rests between hers.

He nods his head against hers, but she knows he’s already falling asleep. They went at it again as soon as he flipped their positions over, and she should have known better than to agree on spending the night.

She whispers his name again when Wicki starts fumbling over the words of a song she doesn’t recognize, too distorted by his drunkenness. “Please, Hugo, you know he can’t hold his liquor!”

“Y/N!” Wicki almost yells her name when he finally switches on the light and finds her in his friend’s bed. “‘S good to see you again.”

She’s quick at turning back around, pulling the blanket over herself to cover her body from the other man’s eyes. “Stiglitz, come on! You need to wake up. I can’t do this without you.” But when she tilts her head up on the pillow and her eyes land on Hugo and that faint smile of his still plastered to his lips, she knows there’s no way in hell he’s waking up again soon.

Feel free to leave feedback xo I hope Stiglitz wasn’t too OOC but the truth is, idgaf, I just had to write about the man of my dreams haha

Links: prompts by peaskyblonders https://peaskyblonders.tumblr.com/post/622451655662845952/random-prompt-list // photo used for the banner https://www.pexels.com/it-it/foto/albero-freddo-ghiacciato-innevato-909016/

TAGS (to be added to or to be removed from any list, shoot me an ASK)

Everything: @idhrenniel @saibh29 @fuckthatfeeling @aya-fay @pebblesz892  @mblaqgi​ @becs-bunker

[aurora-the-kunoichi]

The Forgotten - Part Three

Here is part three of The Forgotten

Here it is in its entirety 

The Aquarium 

Raphael had always been….overwhelming, the one to leave her breathless, boneless and tied up in knots after a rough session of love making.  He knew what buttons to press, the right pressure to touch at just the right places. Raphael was a master of breaking down walls and getting exactly what he wanted by making Aurora realize she wanted the very same thing. This Raphael was no different.

Aurora could feel her heart in her chest as his sinful lips found the pulse point bringing the skin into his mouth and sucked until the blood vessels burst. As he continued to molest the skin in his mouth Raphael’s left hand moved to her backside gripping the apple of ass and squeezed. Aurora tried; she really did, but found it impossible to stop the moan escaping between her parted lips. Memories flooded back as he pressed her into the side of building with his immense frame while licking at the now red mark that spread across her skin.

Raphael did this regularly when they were hers and hers alone. He’d mark her mostly in the mornings when they’d get a few moments alone and he take the first fuck of the day and the subtle mark on her neck would remind Fearless that he had, had their kunoichi first. It was a game the alphas played on the regular always trying to one up each other which Aurora didn’t mind being the object of their attentions. Being on the receiving end of their insatiable sex drive was something she would never complain about. Mike and Don were nearly as bad but they tended to be a little more submissive to her.

“Raphael.”

“That’s so fuckin’ pretty, say it again.” Raphael husked pressing his knee between her thighs to widen her stance. “Why the fuck do I want ya so bad? Like I’ve been starving for years and you’re the only thing to satisfy my hunger?”

Aurora fought with her body as it responded favorably to his impatient treatment. Her hands shook reaching for the rim of his shell and willed herself not to pull him closer but to keep him at bay. She had to get her libido under control, this was not her Raphael. She took a deep breath and pushed; the mouth that was sampling the column of her throat was detached and growled its warning of displeasure.  

It was now she could hear his labored breathing as the disconnect from his body allowed some of her senses to return. Even in the low light Aurora could see his pupils dilated, Raphael’s ravenous sex drive was in full gear and his sights were locked in on the kunoichi. She needed to be quick and utilize all of her tricks because despite the throb between her legs Aurora wasn’t going to give him what he wanted and she could tell he really wanted it.

“Come girly, I can smell ya, I know you want this too. And if we’ve fucked before I know ya can take me.” The eager mutant moved forward again his hands searching to reclaim the roundness of her backside.

Aurora jumped gripping the lip of the roof’s overhang and lifted up and out of range of those gifted three fingered hands. Her legs spread clearing his towering height and using her stomach muscles reared back and launched herself over the mutant landing just behind him.

Raphael fist slammed into the wood siding and whirled around with a manic smile widening over his scarred lips. “Playin hard to get huh? That’s ok cause I love the thrill of the chase. When I catch ya I’m gonna make you scream my name and mark you inside and out. That way Fearless will know who had ya first.” Just then the brute stopped his forward motion and blinked eyeing Aurora carefully. “I’m havin déjà vu right now, like I’ve said those words before. But Leo and I have never…….”

He looked confused running his hand over his scalp before clamping both hands over his skull grunting in pain. “God my skull, it hurts all of a sudden.”

Aurora took the moment of his distraction and kicked the solid turtle in the chest sending him back on his shell. With the quickness of her training she moved over the enormous turtle and pressed under his left arm pit and above his plastron to the right of his clavicle, right where she needed to immobilize the deadly terrapin. The mutant hissed in discomfort as his body succumbed to the pressure points and every muscle in his cumbersome frame let go of its tension leaving him helpless to the tempting woman.

Despite his arms and legs useless his lips still worked just fine, “Ain’t you full of fuckin’ surprises. Pressure points, I’ve only seen Leo use those. Looks like I seriously underestimated your abilities. I promise that won’t happen again. That is unless you plan on killin me beautiful.”

Aurora straddled his hips and leaned down settling her elbows on his chest and her head in her hands. “It’s Aurora, and don’t worry handsome those pressure points will wear off in about 15 minutes. I don’t want you dead I just wanna have a few words. You are having déjà vu because you and Leonardo have both had me, but so has Mikey and Donnie.” Saying his name out loud still hurt but the furrowing brows and a grunt of pain that came from Raphael indicated his brain was trying to access the suppressed memories. “You and Fearless would play a game practically every day. It was called ‘Who fucked the kunoichi first.’ It was a game I enjoyed being included in. You see, I know a lot about you. I know you’re just a little bigger then Leo with a slight curve to the left. You have a long scar that runs from the top of your thigh down to your knee. I know that you love your adonis line stroked.” Her right hand disappeared between them dipping under his waistband to find the well defined line of muscle just under his plastron connecting to his groin.

The immobilized turtle tried tilting his hips up into her fingers as they ran the length of the line coming to a stop just before his cock. “Fuck!” his head dropped back to the tar roof and rumbled as her fingers moved down bypassing the rock hard rod of flesh and the hanging green globes. “Ah come on!”

Aurora leaned down ghosting her lips over his, the tip of her tongue darted out running along his lower lip and he leaned up to catch the appendage sucking it into his mouth. She allowed it briefly having her first taste of Raphael in years. She opened her mouth and swept her tongue into his mouth giving him a deep kiss and broke free. “I also know your little kink.” The pad of her finger ran just under the green sacks tracing the line of flesh just under them. “I know when you get head you love to get your prostate massaged.” Just then her finger ran over the puckered entrance and the brute gasped as the soft pad of her finger pressed against the flesh just enough to make him groan.

“Fucking impossible…ugghh…..fuck……”

“I know every inch of your body Raph.” Her hand moved up again and the palm of her hand finally gave him the attention the mutant had been craving and gripped the pulsing cock firmly. Aurora closed her eyes and slowed her breathing, this was getting way out of hand but she needed his attention, his full attention and she had it now for sure. “As much as I want to ride you until we’re both sweaty and satisfied…”

“Please, dear gods, please do blondie.”  

“Your boss isn’t who you think he is Raphael. Bishop took you from me, from the resistance and put something in your bodies to make you obedient.” Her fingers slid down to the base of his shaft and twisted just the way he liked it. “And you Raphael are anything but obedient.

“Fu—hck….What the fuck are you talkin about? Fuckin shell, just-t like that!”

“It’s small and metal or some kind of alloy, we’re not sure. It moves around your body somehow keeping you and your brothers under his control. Keeping millions under his control.” Her hand released his cock and Aurora leaned up much to Raphael’s displeasure.

“I ain’t got nothing in my body controlling me. I ain’t no one’s puppet!”

“Oh I know.  You’re not one to take orders, at least without questioning their validity first. It was the main theme of yours and Leo’s fights. But why do you think it hurts when you try to remember? Why you and your brothers are drawn to me? Why the name Donnie pulls at something deep inside you? You had another brother but he disappeared and we had no idea what happened to him. It still haunts us to this day. Can you remember anything prior to five years ago? Your childhood?” Suddenly out of the corner of her eye Aurora could see his finger twitch, it was time to leave.

Her fingers rested on his chest and ran over the hard lines letting out a shaky breath and stood.

“Hey, wait! Where ya going? You can’t leave me like this? Fuckin tease!”

Aurora moved off of him and took a few steps back edging the shadows of the roof. “The feeling is coming back in your body and I can’t be here when it does. I’ll be seein you red…” And with that she disappeared from his view and began her escape listening to the roar of her name fade with the distance.

She didn’t stop; Aurora ran and ran bypassing home base just in case he would take chase. She wouldn’t take any more chances; she did enough of that tonight. Keeping to the darkness Aurora slipped below the streets and made the trek to her own personal hideout.

The lair had been abandoned shortly after Bishop earned his edge in the war. The turtles and Aurora moved to the resistance’s hideout to stay close to the news and the help. So the lair was still only known to a select few. Since the five original tenants were either gone or unable to remember its location only Aurora, Casey and April knew of its existence.

Aurora made a trip to the lair at least once a month to make sure everything was running and that it was still stocked just in case of emergencies. Just in cases the resistance fell and they needed a new place to lay low.

The vacant rooms still hurt to look at, Donnie’s lab sat with abandoned machines and projects never to be finished again. The room with the rice paper doors had been missing its owner for the longest. Running her fingers along the teak wood frame Aurora pushed it open and kneeled at the opening. In the middle of the room was a beautiful ornate Japanese table and sat upon it was a green urn filled with the remains of Master Splinter.

“Good evening Sensei, I know it’s been a while since I’ve visited but I figured you’d like an update on your sons. I had a run in with Raph this evening; he didn’t try to kill me this time so that was a bonus. I had to use a few of my tricks to get him to listen but I think I might have moved a few brain cells around a bit. I..may have kissed him but it was unavoidable. “Her eyes lifted to the vessel and let out a heavy sigh. “Ok maybe it wasn’t but….it’s been so long and I was weak. He did have something interesting to say. Supposedly I have been a regular topic of conversation with those three. That’s something I guess.” Getting back to her feet Aurora bowed. “Sensei.”

She moved about the lair until she entered their room looking at the giant makeshift bed. She remembered the day Mikey had suggested the consolidation of their sleeping arrangements. He had been so proud of himself he was simply beaming from ear to ear.

“What the fuck did ya do shell for brains?” Raphael was circling the massive arrangement of mattresses, blankets and pillows. Even though he was a bit annoyed Aurora could see the wheels spinning in his head.

Mikey took a few steps back and rushed his creation grabbing Aurora as he went. Aurora screamed in shock as the youngest hurtled her and him onto the mass with a very comfortable collision of bedding. “No more fighting over who gets to sleep with Rora. Now it’s just gonna be a giant turtle pile with her in the middle.”

Leo stood in the doorway with his massive arms crossed over his chest; his face was unreadable as he watched Mikey molest Aurora with his signature enthusiasm.

“I don’t usually say this but…..” Donnie was right next to Leo but his expression was much more readable. The big toothy grin widened and the genius followed the two into the bed helping Mikey strip the kunoichi of her clothes. “This is probably the best idea you’ve ever had Mike.”

“Leo! Raph!” Aurora squealed mock fighting off two of her lovers. “Are you gonna just sit there and let them take advantage of me like this?”

The two alphas finally found each other’s gaze and stepped from their positions. Raphael rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck while Leo slipped a kunai from his thigh holster.

“It looks like you two are taking way too long to rid her of her clothes. I think you need to let a master take over.”

Raphael moved with Leo and lunged, “Not if I get to her first Fearless.”

The introduction to the new bed was christened with their first fivesome leaving Aurora walking a little funny the next few days. She still found it unbelievable she was once in a relationship with four mutant turtles. Aurora remembered how good it was and how amazing each of them were to her. Something that good wasn’t meant to last. Life could be so cruel sometimes, a taste of heaven before it was ripped from her grasp.  

Aurora crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over herself. The interaction with Raph had left her shaken and emotionally drained, something she was not expecting for the nights events. She had nearly given in to his advances and that worried her. But then again the closer he got and the longer he was in close proximity he seemed to lose more and more control. As she mentioned things from his past Raph’s head began to hurt as if the memories were trying to resurface. Maybe she should have given in?

Their scent had left the room long ago but the indents from their shells remained. Her fingers trailed along the massive divots imagining their slumbering bodies just next to her. She imagined Raphael turning to her and his honey eyes opening to find her staring at him.

“Can’t sleep?”

“I’m just imagining you guys here with me.” Her hand reached out and ran her palm across his cheek smiling as he leaned into the touch. “I miss you.”

Raphael moved closer running his fingers through Aurora’s hair gripping the back of her skull gently, “We may not realize it but we miss you too. But I’m hopin’ you guys can figure those fuckin little things out. I wanna come home; we wanna come home to you.”

“We’re working on it I promise. It’s just gonna take a little longer without Don here to head the charge. We’ll get you home; we’ll get all of you home or die trying.”

“Nah Rora don’t do that. I can’t fuck you into next year when I’m free of this bullshit if you’re dead. You need to stay alive and strong cause this isn’t gonna get easier, it’s only gonna get harder.” Raphael leaned in giving her his signature smirk. “Speaking of harder….”

Aurora closed her eyes and waited, but like all of her other day dreams those lips never came. No arms came to claim her. By the time she opened her eyes Raphael was gone and his indent cold as death. Tears began to form in her eyes as she stared at where bulky terrapin had just been laying.  She was tired, so fucking tired.

The next thing Aurora knew, she was being jolted awake to the com flush in her ear blowing up with a familiar worried voice.

“Base to White Skull, base to White Skull. Where the fuck are you!?” April’s angry voice boomed in her ear. Just under the irritation Aurora could hear the fear in the back of her throat clawing at her subconscious praying her friend wasn’t captured or worse….. dead.

She must have fallen asleep, poor April had enough to worry about. Pressing the com in her ear Aurora yawned and replied quickly, “This is White Skull to base. My apologies I had an unannounced visit from Red Bear. I was unsure if I was being followed so I took refuge in the aquarium just in case. I didn’t want to compromise the base just in case he had gotten the best of me.”

“Are you alright?” April’s voice instantly softened understanding the code words and knowing she was safe.

Aurora let out a heavy sigh and nodded to mostly herself, “Yeah I’m ok, I must have fell asleep. I’ll return at dawn.”

“Be careful White Skull, I…..we’ll see you in a few hours. Over and out.”

As the com went cold Aurora sat up pushing the blankets from her body. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she made her way to the kitchen for something to drink.

The genius’s sewage powered generator was still working like a dream. As long as the human race still occupied New York City there would always be an endless amount of human waste. Donnie had figured out a way to harness that power and turn it into unlimited power for the Lair. The lights remained functional, along with all the kitchen appliances as well as the bathrooms. God she missed him.

The fridge was the least supplied appliance. It held perishables and in a secret lair uninhabited most of the time it was unwise to keep it stocked with items that would go bad quickly. The freezer held most of the food and the fridge held water, pop and butter.

Pulling out a bottle of water she cracked the top and downed the whole contents in one gulp.

“Fuck!” Aurora growled throwing the now empty bottle in the trash. “My thermos! Now I gotta go get it.”

Just then a burst of light from Donnie’s lab distracted Aurora from her lost item. In a flash her hands went the hilts of her katana and unsheathed them with a low sing. Her feet made no sound as the kunoichi made her way to the partly closed door currently displaying a spectacular show of multi colors.

She could hear electricity snap and crackle and a low hum of some kind as the light show pulsed faster and faster. As she reached the partially open door to Donatello’s lab Aurora peered through the crack and felt her heart stop and burst all at the same time.

Her katanas slipped from her grip clattering to the ground at her feet. In a hurried burst of energy her fingers found the edge of the metal doors and pushed with all her might.

“DONNIE!?”

@imthegreenfairy88​ @alonia143​ @ravn-87​ @waterstar2016​ @tmnt-bucklover​

[resslawx]

Soo here goes my first post on tumblr :’D I’m not very familiar with it since I’m more active on my the blacklist fanpage on Instagram but I’m working on it! Normally I’m doing edits - mostly keenler ones - but some days ago I’ve written a keenler oneshot that takes place in the current blacklist universe :) I‘m not much of a writer but I tried my best! Lemme know if you want part 2 since this is only half of it. Also, English isn’t my native language so I’m sorry for any mistakes!

[Keenler oneshot pt. 1]

It was around 11 pm on a Friday night when his phone started to ring.

“Ressler?”

It had been a pretty long day, if not to say it had been hell of a week. They had to chase their current Blacklister all over the country, which is why they had to travel a lot. Given those circumstances it wasn’t hard to imagine how tired he was.

“Ressler, hey, it’s me.” By the time he’d realized who’s familiar - yet kinda hesitant - voice reached out to him through the phone, Ressler became much more awake.

“Liz? Is everything okay? Did something happen?”

“No, no everything’s fine. Well, almost. But since the word 'bad' has a pretty heavy meaning in our lives, I can’t use it in this case.”

Ressler could tell she’s been smirking slightly while saying her last words and automatically let out a relived breath. Over the last years it had become a typical habit of his to get worried about her when she called him at unusual times, duo to no work reasons.

She was right, the word 'bad' had another meaning for them and everyone in the Task Force than it hat to most people. But still, there must’ve been a specific reason she called him. He could tell by the sound of her hesitant voice.

“Well, I’m glad to hear it’s nothing bad, but uh, what’s the reason you called me then?” he answered, clearing his throat to hide the sleepy undertone of his voice. He definitely needed to catch up on a bunch of sleep. “Already missing me after traveling around almost 14 hours a day with me all week long?” he added, grinning softly.

On the other end of the line he could hear her chuckling a bit. Damn, he loved hearing those sounds she made, no matter how quiet they were.

“Of course Ress', I’m calling you at 11 pm on a Friday night, after being 2 hours at home and barely spending any time with my daughter because I’m bored.”

It was as if he could hear her rolling her eyes in amusement.

“No, to be honest that’s not the case. But uhm, the real reason might seem just as unnecessary.” she sighed “I just didn’t know what else to do.”

His heart skipped a beat as her last sentence made its way to his kinda slow-working brain. Once again it reminded him on the evening she told him how much she relied on him. How much she needed him. It was already some weeks ago but to him it seemed like it was yesterday.

“Just tell me” was all he said, making his way to the fridge to get some cold water.

Liz bit her lip. “Agnes has been sleeping calmly as I came home, which, honestly I’ve been really glad about. I just went in to give her a quick good night kiss and that was it. Until like half an hour ago..” she paused for a moment, as if she still wasn’t sure if this wouldn’t sound too.. dumb. After some seconds, she spoke again.

“I was just about going to bed, when Agnes ran out of her room, screaming in fear. Clinging to me, she told me she saw a... gigantic spider. Like really gigantic.. at first I thought she did have a nightmare or something but when she described her seeing in detail I started to believe her because to be honest, I’ve already seen a one like this in here but never told her. So anyways, I looked up her whole room but couldn’t find anything for like twenty minutes. Agnes is still freaking out, not wanting to calm down at all till we found that enemy..” Realizing she had spilled out half of her home story in like 15 seconds, she became quiet.

Ressler put down his water bottle, smiling slightly “lemme guess, the munchkin doesn’t want to sleep somewhere else either?”

“Yep, she truly isn’t up for any compromises. Won’t sleep in my bed, won’t believe the spider is more afraid of her than the other way around... won’t calm down at all.”

Ressler could tell Liz was just as exhausted as he was, not only by hearing the third heavy sigh leaving her body in a minute.

“I just uh.. you know.. Agnes always relaxes if you’re around and..”

“And you thought I’d come over to try to calm down your kid - at a time we can already call midnight?“

“I- I don’t know what I thought..” she went silent for a moment, clearly even more unsure about the whole thing than she was in the beginning. “You know what, forget it, I’m so-“

“Of course I will. Just gimme a minute to make my look at least a bit more bearable.“

He was already on his way to the wardrobe when Liz finally found her voice again.

“You really don’t have to, Ress’..”

No matter how tired he was, there was no way he wouldn’t notice the slight note of hope that had joined her voice.

And he wouldn’t let that slip away.

“It’s fine Liz. Let’s see if my charming aura is able to turn the munchkins head - preferably with her eyes getting closed again.”

——

Fifteen minutes later, Agnes was still hiding under a pillow on the couch, not wanting to get up and possibly face the terrifying spider.

“Honey, I’m sure your little guest left already. Through the window, the door..” Liz said sitting down next to her, stroking her daughters little arm.

Her eyes shifted to the clock. It was already half past 11 and her eyes became heavier with every minute that passed. But not only they did. She could feel every single bone in her body aching, pleading for at least some hours of sleep. Some hours of rest. 'To hell with Reddington and his cat and mouse games' she thought. The main reason why they had to travel that much to follow their target was Reddington - what a surprise. They had been so close, already close enough to catch the guy. But Red decided to do the man a favor and play his own game.

Again.

“No mommy, the spiwder didn’t go awawy...” Agnes answered in a muffled voice, the pillow still pressed on top of her face.

It was only when they heard a gentle knock on the front door when she abruptly pulled her protection shield away and looked up at her mother, the eyes wide.

“Can spiwders knock on doors???”

“No, they can’t. I promise” Liz said getting up “But I know someone who can.” she ran her fingers through her daughters hair and walked to the door.

When she opened it she was immediately greeted by the warmth her partner - who was leaning on the doorframe - always was surrounded with. At least to her.

He looked good and bad at the same time. Wearing a dark blue sweater and a black pair of jeans he looked so different than she was used to. And she loved it. She could hardly believe there was anything he couldn’t wear - she just still wasn’t sure of the imagination of him in tights yet.

But she could tell he was exhausted, even more than her. They had to do most of the traveling by car and while she got at least some hours of sleep in their endless car driving sessions, Ressler always insisted on being the driver.

Suddenly Liz felt even worse for calling him.

“Hey you” Ressler said, tilting his head slightly and offering her a smile. “Your knight on the white horse has come to save the day.. Okay, more like the night.”

Smiling softly, Liz placed a hand on his upper arm.

“I can’t believe I really did this to you.. you look pretty bad.”

“Thanks, that’s what I love to hear. Guess my attempt to look bearable has failed, huh?“ His eyebrows raised in seriousness but Liz could catch a small grin on his lips.

Why was she even looking at his lips?

“Nah, your look is.. okay” She said with a quick wink “But you deserve at least some hours on your own, getting some sleep, before we have to go out there again..”

Resslers grin turned into a caring smile “And so do you, which is why we’re doing this together now.”

With these words he entered the apartment, just to be immediately seen by the reason of his showing up herself.

“Donnie!” Agnes let go of the pillow, standing up on the couch. Still afraid of touching the ground again, she reached out to their visitor.

“Heyy sweetheart, there you are!” Ressler was with her in a few steps, picking her up. The kid reflexively wrapped her arms around him and snuggled her face into his neck.

Liz heart warmed at the sight of her daughter cuddling into her partners arms like this. It always did. Every time Agnes was with him she seemed happy in a way she rarely was. Both of them did.

She could tell the little girl felt safe with Ressler, especially when she was in his arms. That was something mother and daughter had in common.

“I’ve heard there’s some intruder who’s sneaking around here?” Ressler said, loosening himself a bit from the munchkin to be able to face her. Still clinging to him Agnes nodded.

“There‘s a biwg spiwder..”

“Eww, we don’t want spiders in our rooms, right?”

She shook her head in agreement “But mommy saiwd it’s gone.. it‘s hiding somewhere!“

“Hmm.. Let’s take a look then” He leaned closer to her ear “See if mommy’s eyes aren’t so good anymore.”

Agnes giggled, while Liz gently slapped Resslers arm, before folding her own ones. “Hey, I heard that! It’s not like I’m 80 or something - in fact you are the oldest one here.”

“The older the wiser.” Ressler simply said, already moving to Agnes’ room.

He quickly scanned the room for its best hiding spots and looked them up. The little girl still refused to get on the floor again, but since she could stay in the arms of one of her favorite playmates, she stopped whimpering. Liz went through the room herself once more, with as less luck as before. And so did Ressler.

Ten minutes later they gave up.

“I told you..” Liz sighed, rubbing her eyes. 'Stop burning' she thought. Her daughter kept looking back and forth between the partners, clearly expecting them to come up with a solution.

It was just when she was about to start complaining again that Ressler sat down on the edge of her bed.

“You know what sweetheart?” placing her on his lap, he looked around. “Your bed is the perfect place for a fortress.”

“A fowrtress?” Agnes followed his gaze.

“Yeah. Look, when you don’t know where the enemy you’re fighting is hiding, you protect yourself. You’re simply hiding better - just as if you would play hide and seek.”

Nodding slightly, but still being a bit unsure, the girl looked up at him again.

“In this case, the enemy we’re fighting is soo weak, you’re way stronger than it. And smarter all the way.” He poked her nose and earned a smile “So, if we build a cave on top of your bed - like a little fortresses - you’ll be safe and win the game.”

Liz couldn’t help but smile. ‘Good move, mr. Iamjustdoingmyjob. You know how much she loves building caves.’

Soon after, Agnes eyes were full of excitement while she was happily throwing every pillow she had on top of her bed. Liz and Ressler didn’t need to do much, they just brought her some of the bigger pillows which belonged to the couch so her cave would be build on some stable ground.

Leaning in the doorframe the adults watched their little one finishing her work.

“Done!” Agnes called proudly, crawling into her safe space and looking at them.

“It looks amazing honey” her mother said, kneeling down in front of her daughters bed so she wouldn’t destroy the building.

“You think you can sleep now?”

Snuggling into her blanket, Agnes nodded, her eyes suddenly becoming heavy again.

“Looks like someone’s adrenaline rush is over now” Ressler went over to them, sitting down next to Liz.

It was kinda hard to decide who he should watch in this moment. The adorable little girl who was laying in front of them and showed him one more time how much she trusted him, or her mother - his partner - who looked so lost in thought that he could tell she wasn’t in this room anymore.

Both seeings were cute in his opinion.

“...And you’re suwre it won’t hurwt me..?“

Liz flinched a bit, clearly getting ripped out of her deep thoughts she was in. None of them had realized Agnes wasn’t fully asleep yet. Before she could even react, Ressler made her heart swell once more.

“It won’t. Pinky promise.” He gently brushed a strand of hair out of the munchkins face and leaned over, placing a lovely kiss on her forehead. The girl smiled, satisfied, and finally drifted into a deep sleep.

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Five

Louis answered the facetime call grinning at the man across the screen still in a bed.

"Happy birthday and Merry Christmas Eve. Have you opened your presents yet?"

"No thought I would wait for you to wake up,  but I do have the gifts here along with the one with two bows which I'm assuming is my Christmas Eve present."

"Yes, it is. The very thin one is last altogether and the big cube is first."

"Everything else doesn't matter?"

"Not really however if you'd rather do the Christmas eve present first and let it start up while you open the rest then make sure to open the cube second. I bought myself one and it took a few minutes to start up so."

"It's too big to be a phone."

"Very observant."

"You do know I have a laptop right?"

"A broken laptop."

"Harold."

"Just come on and open it. I got it for a lot of reasons."

"Well, I already know what it is now." Louis told him

"Just shut up and open your Christmas Eve gift. Its Christmas I'm allowed to buy you expensive things." Harry said

"You bought me a Samovar."

"Please." Louis sighed heavily as he grabbed the gift, he looked at Harry who was grinning

"Where are you anyway? It's not the bus is it?"

"No, I'm in my LA home. The others are sleeping at a hotel though I offered them rooms here." Harry said

"You're alone on Christmas?" Louis asked stopping his unwrapping momentarily to look at Harry. Harry opened his mouth to speak, but he frowned and looked off camera before looking back at Louis after a second.

"No, my family is here. I'm trying to be quiet so they think I'm asleep otherwise they'll come in here. Well, go on then open it." Louis ripped the wrapping paper and shot Harry a glare when the box revealed the newest MacBook.

"Harold-"

"No, before you complain listen. This will give us better angles for video calls."

"Our phones worked just fine."

"Just shut up and take it." Louis shook his head as he stared at Harry. Harry with his long curly hair pulled into a bun, his pearl necklace laying against his bare chest, his little stubble on his jaw. His soft smile and soft eyes.

"So the cube next?" Louis asked looking away from Harry

"Yes. The cube." It was heavy in it's own way despite its medium size. He tore the gift open and froze when he saw the team logo.

"Wait..seriously?" Harry chuckled grinning as Louis grabbed the shadow box holding a signed ball from the entire Doncaster Rovers team, "Harry."

"I only paid for the shadow box, I know a lot of the players so when I told them my boyfriend is a huge fan the offered to sign a ball for me to give to you."

"Harry this is incredible. I can't open the rest Haz I won't be as excited now."

"Louis trust me it gets better." Louis put the shadow box to the side and grabbed another box placing it on his lap. Opening the box he pulled out four jerseys, two for home games, and two for away games. One set was for Doncaster and the other for Manchester. The third gift was two sets of five lanyards for the Manchester and Doncaster stadiums giving them access and free drinks and food in a VIP box.

"Harry.. but wait why five?"

"I'll be home near the middle of the season." Louis looked at Harry grinned, he bought the phone screen to his lips and kissed him making Harry laughed.

"One more. Is the MacBook set up?" Louis glanced at the MacBook then started to finish setting it up. "Open the last one and play it."

"Harry, I swear if you make me cry." Louis said as he grabbed the thin square package. He already knew it was a cd which meant a personalized playlist, a cheesy montage of their time together, or something along those lines, and honestly, Louis wasn't ready for either of those options.

"I am going to let you listen to it alone and I will take a shower and eat breakfast then we can talk in about two hours?"

"Alright." Harry leaned in to the screen and kissed the lens making Louis laugh. The facetime ended so Louis focused on the gift revealing the cd and placing it in the CD tray. He clicked on the pop up then pressed play turning the volume up.

"I know you don't want us to say the L-word until we meet for the first time. So I wrote something that I hope will express my feelings for you as strongly and clearly as I can and um... this might give away who I am, but I'm not scared about that. I've been trying to find a way to tell you for a few weeks now since you fell asleep on our facetime call in Australia. So I um... I hope you like it I guess and if you do find out who I am and if you need a few days to think about what being in a relationship with me would involve then let me know. If you come to a decision of ending things just know that I trust you and I'm sorry and I completely understand why you would decide that. If you still want to be with me then great and we can talk more on the depth of everything like if you want to be public about our relationship or not. Whatever you want. Alright.. before I say the word you don't want me to I'm going to stop this and let you listen. Bye." Louis laughed at his awkward boyfriend shaking his head as a soft piano came over the speakers.

"If I could fly I'd be coming right back home to you I think I might Give up everything just ask me to Pay attention, I hope that you listen Cause I've let my guard down Right now in completely defenseless

For your eyes only I'll show you my heart For when you're lonely And forget who you are I'm missing half of me When we're apart Now you know me For your eyes only."

Louis closed his eyes to keep his traitorous tears back. Harry's voice was raw, but sounded beautiful and Louis had a hard time focusing on what he was singing. He did recognize the voice, he knew he has heard it on the radio quite a few times, but he was terrible at remembering names. He knew that once he actually knew who Harry was he'd feel pretty damn stupid, but right now he couldn't think of anything. Louis replayed the song five times before it the lyrics finally sunk in and Louis understood this was Harry telling Louis that he Loved him with a capital 'L'.

Like he was completely in and completely gone for Louis. Louis would be lying if he said the thought didn't terrify him, but he felt the same way about Harry. He had fallen when Harry had answered a facetime with the widest grin, completely shirtless, and a towel wrapped around his waist. HIS WAIST. Not his hips like a normal person, his waist which meant his towel had stopped pretty high on his thighs. But Louis hadn't even noticed that until after he had completely fallen for his dimples and open mouth smile and his wet hair and his perfect complexion. Louis was pretty sure he had stopped breathing for a minute only to stop breathing again when Harry had straightened up and Louis had noticed his towel situation.

Nothing had been revealed, but still, it was the principal of things. Harry had perfect thighs and it was rude. How dare he just answer a facetime looking like a god while Louis had been wearing a stained holey band shirt and stained sweats with pizza sauce on the corner of his mouth. He had been tempted to break up with him because of it. Of course, he had talked himself out of it, but the thought had lingered in his head for a few seconds.

****

Two hours later Louis escaped to his room and accepted the facetime request. Harry was outside this time, but he was looking off-camera at someone.

"Mom. I love you, but please leave now."

"What if you need me?"

"Mom go away," Harry said

"But what if he's mean to you."

Mom. I'm 21 and I've been talking to him for months."

"Remember the last Doncaster boy you liked? He took your number and never texted you."

"I was 14 mom, I wouldn't have texted me either. Now go away."

"Fine. I'll be inside if you need me." Harry turned to the phone with a soft blush on his cheeks

"You had another Doncaster boy? Should I be worried?" Louis asked

"No, it was 2009 and at a battle of the bands. He was a singer in this band."

"Wait...shut up...2009 battle of the bands?" Louis asked sitting up straighter

"Yeah, why?"

"No fucking way. What was the guy's band name?" Louis asked not able to believe it

"Band name? I don't know it was...seven years ago. Rogue something I think or maybe something Rogue."

"Shut up."

"What?" Harry asked amused

"That was my band. The Rogue. We met before Harry."

"No."

"Yes. Me mom has the picture we took together in one of the photo albums back home in Donny."

"You're shitting me. We snogged that day."

"We snogged in the toilet stall after you peed on me. The first time." Louis told his embarrassed boyfriend making him even more embarrassed as he buried his face in his arms.

"Oh my god. Please stop talking now." Louis laughed even harder as he thought back to 2009, "wait didn't we meet again? At the script concert?"

"We did. We met up in the toilets. I think you were leaving when I was coming in."

"Fucking hell." Harry said shaking his head

"Then again that summer when I was on holiday and again in 2010 at the X Factor auditions."

"No."

"Yes. We have met four fucking times already." Louis said as he remembered Harry again

"Well after eight years I finally get your number." Harry said making Louis blush

"Well, I can explain. The first time I never actually saved it. I typed it, but I forgot to save it so when I tried to text you I couldn't. Then after the concert, I was actually struggling with coming out and being comfortable with it all. The holiday I still hadn't come out so I sort of ignored you then we didn't exchange numbers at the auditions. I left early anyway so I never actually auditioned."

"What? Why not? Louis, you should have auditioned. I remember you having an amazing voice."

"And lose to you? No thanks. Talk about a busted ego." Harry shook his head smiling as he laid his chin on his hand

"I actually didn't win. When you get to the Live Shows they give you this new contract to sign in case they want to sign anyone who doesn't win. A lot of the other contestants warned me about bad labels and what they can do and that they could closest someone. I was already being labeled and branded as a lady's man at 16 on that show. I refused to sign the contract and they organized my elimination three weeks later. Simon tried to talk me out of it a lot, but I refused and told my mom I didn’t want to be forced into a five to ten-year closet. Six months later Sony got a hold of me and told me that I would be able to coke out whenever I wanted, but until then they did want to promote me as straight which I was fine with. Luckily it had to wait until I was 18 so when I turned 18 they had me date Taylor Swift. I'm not out publicly yet, but I just never really had a reason to come out."

The first thing that popped into Louis' head was "Harry Styles"  but that was insane because Harry was...like...18 and had a mop of curls. He did not have tattoos or long hair nor was he 21 turning 22. Louis was positive he had just turned 18 last year.

"That's good that you were warned and was able to escape before you were legally straight."

"Yeah, it is. A little upset I will never know if I would have won or not, but I guess having my first album get platinum within a week was proof enough that I would have at least made top 5."

~~~~~

Harry had gotten Niall an expensive whiskey that Niall was excited about and a limited edition Baccarat Louxor Bar Set. Liam got a $100 tattoo voucher for the local parlor he liked and some Manchester footie merch signed as well like Louis'. Zayn got some expensive hair care products as well as a $100 (my keyboard doesn't have the pound symbol so sorry about the American dollar) tattoo voucher. For someone who only knew a few things about his roommates he did amazing and they were all excited about everything.

Louis had gotten more gifts from all of the places Harry has been. Some more sweaters, a Japanese dragon jacket that felt expensive and warm. A rice cooker with a side note to follow the instructions causing Louis and the lads to laugh. Harry also bought Louis a Royal Copenhagen complete set which almost made Louis cry. Having a complete Royal Copenhagen set was every tea lover's dream, if they're lucky they are able to collect a few tea cups, but it was rare to get a complete set.

In the last box, Louis opened it revealed a large lilac sweater that was something Louis wouldn't usually wear until he pulled it out. The smell was of a tropical scent mixed with an expensive earthy cologne. That meant the sweater was Harry's along with the other sweaters that were folded neatly into the box. A white Aran turtle neck sweater, a black hoodie with a rose embroidery, and under that was a note over another hoodie reading, "unreleased merch". When Louis pulled out the black hoodie it had "Treat People With Kindness" written in rainbow embroidery across the chest. The last one was a light pink sweater with Harry on the chest and then the same quote on the arm.

"Wait.. your boyfriend sent you Harry Styles merch? You've got to be kidding me." Liam said grabbing the black hoodie from Louis

"What?" Louis asked

"Treat people with kindness. This is Harry Styles' merch, it's like his slogan, his brand." Liam said

"Really?" Louis asked, "isn't he like..17?"

"What? No, he's 21 Louis. He was 17 in 2011." Zayn said as he looked at the hoodie, "I haven't seen this one yet."

"21..and when is his birthday?" Louis asked

"The first of February." Niall told him Louis nodded and grabbed his phone going to the safari app and googling Harry Styles.

Sure enough there he was with long hair and tattoos and extremely long legs. There were also modeling pictures and paparazzi pictures of him at airports and fan pictures. Louis went on Instagram and went to Harry Styles' profile and saw many pictures of the countries landscapes and landmarks he had visited the past few months. One of the posts was a picture of Louis' teddys on Louis' shelf in his bedroom wall that he got just for them. The caption read, "Dating 101 - buy them cheesy €5 souvenirs" Louis made his profile private then commented, "and the sweaters that still smell like you."

[imaginedisish]

Heroes (Stefan Butler x Reader) (Bandersnatch)

A/N: Alrighty...here it is...the long awaited Stefan x Reader fic...the last imagine of the weekend! I LOVE DAVID BOWIE SO AN ANON REQUESTED THIS AND I ACTUALLY SCREAMED NGL. Also, I just wanted to thank everyone for the love so far. I’ve written fanfics before, but never like this. I don’t feel forced to put out things…and I feel much better getting requests as opposed to having to think of everything on my own. Tumblr has a much different vibe than fanfic.net and wattpad, and I love it sooooo much. Stefan x Reader was heavily requested so I figured I needed to feed da people. While I’m super into writing for Bandersnatch, and love writing for Bandersnatch the most, my next two fics will most likely be two anon requests: one  about Donnie Darko, and another about Alex Turner. (DON’T WORRY MY FELLOW BANDERSNATCH LOVERS, I’LL WRITE HEAD CANONS TO KEEP YOU ALIVE…and i have an idea for my first multi-part Bandersnatch fic sooo…get ready for a “BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGE”….) For now…enjoy this Stefan x Reader imagine, guys…

Summary: Your an art student, and you have chosen to paint a portrait of Bowie for your final project. However, things go horribly wrong…that is until Stefan is there to help :)

Warnings: Panic attacks, minimal to medium angst, lots of language, fluff!

Word Count: 1,688 

Your brush dances ever so carefully across the bright, white canvas. David Bowie’s “Heroes” blasts throughout your flat. 

Outside your window, the rest of South London decided it was time to turn in for the night. You imagine small children crawling into bed, begging their mothers or fathers for one more story…just one more. 

But not you, you wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. Your eyes struggled to stay open as you began to add more shading to your portrait of David Bowie.

You fell in love with Bowie’s music and his entirely fantastical persona at a young age. Maybe it was his voice, or his lyrics, or perhaps his message of artistic integrity and being yourself regardless of what others say that made you so obsessed with the Starman. 

Regardless of what exactly made you love Bowie, he was the reason you had the confidence to make your move to the UK. He was the reason you decided to apply to art school in the first place. 

So, when your professor announced that your final project of the year would be a portrait of someone that has impacted your life greatly, Bowie instantly came to mind. 

Without Bowie, where the hell would you be? You most likely would be back in the States, going to a university you had no interest in, pursuing a major you hated, in a relationship with a boy you could never love as much as you love…him. 

Oh yes, him. Stefan Butler. Without Bowie, you couldn’t have ever met Stefan. He was your Moonage Daydream, your Modern Love, he was yours. He was so kind and soft and caring. 

When Stefan needs you, you’re there in an instant. He needs you quite often, to be completely honest, but you never mind. You understand that his past traumas plague him, and you want to help him more than anything else in the world. And, naturally, without Bowie, you would never be able to do so. You owed so much to that magnificently talented man. 

And yet this painting of him was slowly becoming a pain in the ass. 

I need to get this done, You remind yourself. Tomorrow is just hours away. 

Unfortunately, you feel as though your hours of painting have led to absolutely nothing. You step back from the painting in an attempt to see it better. However, the more you step back, the more wrong things seem to be. 

“This…this just isn’t right,” you mutter under you breath. A feeling of distress creeps under your skin and eventually pushes itself into every part of your body. You reach for the grey paint, and apply it forcefully to where you think you need it. 

You don’t realize it isn’t actually grey paint until you remove the brush from the canvas. 

“What the fuck?” Now you’re fuming with anger. “This can’t be happening…no no no no no!” You fall to the ground sobbing, your head smashing into your hands. 

A large, vibrant, pink slash of paint displays itself in the middle of your grey, “Heroes” album cover painting. 

This isn’t how it’s supposed to go, and you know that. You simply sob on the floor of your flat, as the creativity you had earlier in the day leaves, and replaces itself with total and utter sadness and disappointment. 

Then, for some reason, you decide to look over to the alarm clock next to your brass, queen bed.

2:00 am

“Oh no, god no!” You shout, expecting your neighbors to be at your door any second now to complain about all the noise. 

Your throat quickly begins to close up, and your heart beats out of your chest. You haven’t had a panic attack since you left the States, but the feeling was familiar nonetheless. You try to scream, but you just can’t. 

A million thoughts race around your mind at once. Every bad experience, relationship, argument, and situation you’ve ever gone been in or gone through resurface in your mind. You simply don’t know how much you can endure before you fall apart, or worse…

“No, no I can’t think like that, I just can’t,” you whisper to yourself.

Before your old, depressive thoughts begin to come back to haunt you, you reach for your phone, and dial the number you know will fix everything.

“(Y/N)? It’s two in the morning, is everything all right?” Stefan’s voice is hurried and panicked. He knows something is wrong. 

“I fucked up, Stefan, so terribly terribly bad,” You’re voice is unsteady and hoarse. You struggle to get your words out as you sob to Stefan.

“(Y/N) tell me what happened.” Stefan was beyond worried now. 

“It-it’s my p-painting. I-,” you take a deep breath before continuing, “I n-need you, n-now.” You sniffle audibly. 

“H-hold tight, k-keep breathing. I’m on m-my way.” Stefan hangs up. You try to do as he says, but it’s no use. You feel your depressive, almost suicidal thoughts begin to push through the barriers you worked so hard to put up. 

No, stopping thinking like that! You think to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut in attempt to free yourself from your intrusive thoughts. You throw your head back into your hands. 

Less than five minutes pass by, when a soft knock echoes through your studio flat. 

“C-come i-in,” you croak. Stefan slowly pushes the door open. His fluffy brown hair is a mess, and his dark circles highlight the emerald-ness of his wide, puppy dog eyes. He’s wearing black shorts and a baggy black sweatshirt. His long, bright yellow socks pop out against his black converse. 

You obviously woke him up, and now you felt like you were being a bothersome girlfriend. You are the one who is supposed to help him. It isn’t supposed to be the other way around. Guilt begins to fill your stomach. 

“(Y/N), m-my god,” he paused, looking at your beet red face and puffy eyes, tears streaming down your cheeks. He rushes over to you, and holds you tightly in his arms. “I’m here now, let it out, it-it’s okay.” 

You sob violently into his chest. You don’t know what else to do. In fact, you realize there is literally nothing else you can do. 

You separate from him for a moment, and nod towards your now adulterated painting. 

“L-look at it. I’m going to fail, Stefan. It’s due tomorrow. It’s worth 70% of my final grade and I’m going to fail,” You say in a soft, factual whisper. He shakes his head. 

“I see nothing but amazing artwork, (Y/N),” Stefan replies. You grow angry again. 

He’s just lying to you, you think to yourself. It’s absolute shit! Anyone could see that. Yell at him, scream!

“Bullshit!” You cry out in a rage, scooting away from him and getting up. You want to punch something, a wall maybe. 

“(Y/N), s-stop,” Stefan pleads softly, getting up from the floor as well. You ignore him, and start to pace the floor. You can’t stand yourself now. Your hands begin to shake. You wish everything would just disappear. 

“Fucking hell I hate thi-,”

“I said STOP!” Stefan screams this time, cutting you off. Stefan was usually so soft, so timid. In this moment, he was the opposite. 

You stare at him with wide eyes. He nervously reaches up to pull on his ear lobe. His emerald eyes become glossy. 

“I-I’m sorry I-I didn’t m-mean t-to-,” Stefan starts to apologize, but you quickly cut him off. 

“No, n-no I am. You were just trying to help and I screamed at you. I’m just so sor-,” the second half of your “sorry” is muffled into Stefan’s chest as he rushes towards you and captures you in his arms.

He smells like peppermint and roses. His scent relaxes you and you practically fall limp in his embrace. He kisses your forehead lightly, and rubs your back gently. You stay that way for what feels like hours, even though it was most likely only a few minutes. 

“We can figure this out, things are going to be fine, I’m going to help you,” Stefan coos in your ear. You melt to the sound his voice. 

Feeling much more calm now, you and Stefan separate. Stefan makes his way over to the painting staring at it for a few seconds. 

“Aladdin Sane,” is all that comes out of Stefan’s mouth. 

“Hmm? What about it?” You weren’t sure what he meant. 

“The pink streak it reminds me of ‘Aladdin Sane' record cover,” Stefan states rather factually. 

Then, it hits you. 

“Stefan, you’re a genius! An absolute genius!” You scream, but happily this time. You run over to him, cupping his cheeks and pulling him into a kiss.

“I should be a genius more often then,” Stefan says smiling widely, blushing intensely. 

Stefan stays with you as you continue your painting, watching you, making sure you don’t overwork yourself. He checks in with you every now and again to see if everything is okay. Of course, now that he was with you, everything was completely fine. Your confidence and inspiration was back. 

Around four in the morning, the painting is finally complete. You step back and smile as Stefan joins you by your side. He wraps his arm around your shoulder. 

“Its absolutely, stunning, (Y/N),” Stefan says, his eyes twinkling even in the low, poor lighting of your flat. 

The painting was a fuse of the “Aladdin Sane” and “Heroes” album covers. You felt fulfilled and happy with your work, and it was all thanks to Stefan, your hero. 

“I love you so much,” Stefan says, pulling you closer to him. 

“I love you more,” You say in return. 

Stefan simply shakes his head.

“Impossible. It would be impossible even in an alternate timeline, in-, in an alternate universe, (Y/N). That is infinitely and eternally impossible.”

[squishyturtlefuckfics]

Compulsion - Chapter 2 - Stimuli

Ch. 1

Donnie next. There's something weird going on, but Raphael can't really complain.

NSFW. Donnie/Raph. Bondage. Fingering. Dirty talk. 

If you enjoyed this, please consider liking and reblogging! It really helps me out!

"You got a minute?" Donnie looks up at him as he enters the room, his gaze hanging for a good few seconds before he lowers his head back to his work. There's a beaker in his hand, and some kind of glowing yellow liquid inside of it. A rope lays discarded to the side of his desk, hanging off of it like a limp noodle, and to its side a messy heap of textbooks. "No," he says matter of factly after a moment, dropping a small pill into the beaker. The liquid froths and bubbles, shifting colours to a light green before it stills. Donnie sighs, clearly annoyed by this for some reason. Was that not meant to happen? "But go on anyway." Raphael stops short of his brother’s workbench. He’s fidgeting, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. It’d been a couple of days since it all started, but they still burn, along with his backside, but he tries to keep the discomfort from creeping into his voice. This was something he didn’t need his other siblings teasing him about. "I was wondering if you'd be okay to fix somethin'," he says. Donnie still doesn’t look up. So far so good. A sigh escapes his lips, and then he continues. "Casey trashed my bike. I told him to stay away, but that bonehead’s just as bad as Mikey when it comes to touchin’ stuff that isn’t his.”

He pauses, waiting to see if Don would react to that at all. Any mention of the human usually made his brother scoff, but Donnie seemed distracted. More so than usual. Was he working on something important?

The silence hangs. Donnie swirls his beaker and the liquid changes colour again, turning a stark blue with a gentle hiss. He tuts in annoyance and then responds without looking at Raphael.

"You want me to fix your bike?" "Somethin' like that." Raph says, rubbing his face. Man he was tired. "Or I can help you. Just... whenever you’ve got time for it."

Another silence. Don remains still, worrying his lip and still not looking at him. He almost looks torn, like he’s trying to decide what to say. Was he okay?

The chair scrapes across the floor, and Donnie stands from it quickly. He’s shaking, flexing his fingers and tapping his feet. He looks ill.

Raph frowns. “Donnie?”

Brown eyes snap to his at the mention of the name, and finally Don turns to face him fully.

He strides forward, quickly pressing himself close to Raph — uncomfortably close. Raph tenses, raising his shoulders. Donnie presses in a little closer, staring him down, his pupils dilated. His nostrils flare as he sniffs the air. "How about this," he starts, his voice oddly low. It sounded completely unnatural for him, almost like he’s possessed. Donnie’s still fidgeting, but his expression hardens. "I'll fix your bike.”

There’s a pause. Raphael frowns, moving to push his brother away, but Donnie’s hand snaps up to grab his arm, holding it in a vice grip.

He snorts. “If you bend over that desk and let me fuck you." Raphael's heart skips, then seems to stop. His skin tingles. Did... What did he just say? Donnie doesn't wait for an answer. He moves faster than Raphael expects, and within mere seconds Raphael finds himself pinned down against the cold metal table behind him, Donnie pressing down onto his shell from above. In a flash, his hands are bound behind his shell, secured by the scratchy rope from before. "Hey!" he squawks, trying to wrestle his brother off of him, but one well-placed touch to his thighs has him recoiling in pain. Donnie chuckles above him, a high, almost sadistic sound, sweeping his dexterous fingers up and down the skin there, kneading into just the right spots that make Raph squirm. "Did you really think you could hide it?" he asks, not giving Raphael the chance to answer before continuing. He keeps Raph pinned down with surprising strength. "You've been waddling about the lair for days now. What happened, Raphael? Just a fall like you said?" Raphael grunts, screwing up his nose as another sharp jab of pain runs through his lower half. Don's fingers pinch and squeeze, and Raphael snarls in response. "Fuck off!” Donnie continues. "What are you hiding, Raphael?" He parts his fingers, and now Donatello's using his entire hand. Rubbing, groping, gliding up the insides of Raphael's legs: over bruises and reddened marks on his skin. “What’s got you so worked up, hm?” Raphael gasps as Donnie's hands pass over a particularly sensitive spot. He obviously notices that, because he pulls back and presses into it again, and again, and each time Raphael has to stifle a whimper. This is all wrong. Why was Donnie doing this? They’d never done anything like this before.

Soon bored of that, Don pushes in further, widening the gap in his legs before trailing his fingers upwards. The skin there is bruised: red, sore and uneven. Raph winces as Don brushes over the little indents in his skin. Teeth marks. There's a satisfied sniff above him, and again Donnie chuckles. "I think," he starts, draping himself over Raphael’s body. "You've been whoring yourself out to our fearless leader." Raphael's stomach twists. "Big, strong, dominant Raphael..." Donnie keeps groping and teasing Raphael's skin, his words dripping with an analytical chill. "You’re really just a little whore, aren’t you?” “How many times?” His fingers trail up and around, dancing across Raphael's exposed ass. Raph seizes up as his brother begins nudging his cheeks apart. “Once? No… Has to be more given the bruising.” His fingers twist as they dig in, and Raphael jolts once Donnie finds his hole, recently used and still a little sticky. Donnie grins. "Ah… Look at that," he husks, prodding his fingers against Raph's hole, teasing circles around the slackened entrance. The skin there is reddened too, hot and sensitive to the touch. “You’ve been busy.” Raphael can't move. He's stunned. His legs are like cement.

But he strangely doesn’t want to move.

Donnie pulls back with a laugh, and the tinkering of tools tells Raphael's he'd fidgeting with his belt. He returns a few seconds later, laying himself back over Raph’s shell, fingers cold and wet. “Shouldn’t need much. You’re already nice and loose.” He slides a finger inside, and Raphael groans.

Donnie continues pushing in, slowly twisting this way and that, clearly eager to draw anything he can out of him, and Raphael is starting to lose the drive to fight. Grunts become whines, and the further Donnie goes the louder they get. "That good?" Donnie licks his ear, now moving on to fuck him with the digit at a slow, steady pace. Raph shudders. His slit bulges. Why was this turning him on so much? Why now all of a sudden? It lasts a few seconds longer before Donnie fully withdraws his finger, leaving him empty and cold. Raph lets out a soft whimper at the sudden emptiness, but Don hushes him as he pulls off of his body. "I'm going to fuck you, Raphael..." he says calmly, and again there's a clattering of tools. Donnie leans back in, but it's not his finger pushing against him this time. Donnie's cock is hot, and judging by he the purring coming from his brother, hard. "I wonder how you'll squeal..."

He presses in, parting Raph's hole with his cock and sliding it inside. Raphael's breath falters. There’s no discomfort: he’s already so loose that Donnie can just push right in. At the same time, Donnie brings his right hand under, looping it under Raph's waist. He nudges aside Raph's belt and with one finger begins grazing at his bulging slit. Up and down. Up and down. "Interesting," he muses, as he was overseeing an experiment. “You’re already so needy.” He grinds his thumb up again, pressing into the steadily growing bulge of shell and pink flesh.  Raph shudders as his cock drops down into his brother’s hand.

There’s a forceful shove from behind, and a jolt tears through him as Donnie hilts inside of him. "Nng... “ Donnie wrinkles his nose. “Subject reacts positively to stimulation." He squeezes his cock, and Raph half grunts, half whines as he pinches the head. "Roughness, too. Noted." Donnie pumps his cock a few more times, drawing whines and whimpers from Raphael the longer he goes. Eventually, Donnie moves his hips too, pushing in and out in time with his stroking. "F-Fuck..." Raph groans, burying his beak into the cold desk. It felt amazing. Fuck it felt so good. Why was this so good? Why the fuck did it feel so good?

Donnie keeps fucking him, his breathing growing ragged as he picks up the pace. His voice drops low, raspier than before. "Raphael..."

He peels himself completely off of Raph’s body, pulling his cock out for just a moment to readjust, leaving Raph quivering and empty for what feels like far too long. Donnie grips his ass with both hands, abandoning Raph’s cock completely clumsily pushes himself back inside. “G...God… Raph…” The pounding continues, and Donnie never relents. He's moving erratically, not being careful. His cock slips out once or twice more, but he quickly shoves it back in, gripping Raphael’s body harder each time. "A-ah... Fuck..." Donnie grunts. "God, you're almost so perfect for this, Raph." His nails dig into Raphael's skin, adding to the marks already there. "Almost. J-Just... Need a little more."

Raph can’t reply to that. He’s lost his voice, his eyes hooded and near unseeing at this point. Fuck this was amazing. This felt so fucking amazing.

“F-Fuck… Raph…” Donnie’s body tenses. His voice tightens. “Fuck… Fuck…” Don bottoms out inside of him with a loud groan. His cock quivers, hot ropes of seed spilling into Raph’s insides as he cums. Raph shudders, skin tingling and burning, his own cock leaking like a faucet.

Seconds pass like hours as Don collapses atop him, basking in the glow of his orgasm. When then younger turtle finally moves, it’s to nuzzle up to Raph’s face again, pressing his nose to the side of Raph’s face. "You… You enjoyed that, right?"

Raphael is panting, cheeks flushed and face warm, his cock aching beneath him. He can’t think: his mind drowning in a haze of arousal. God he just wanted Donnie to jack him off right now… Donnie remains there for a few seconds, not touching Raph’s cock like he wanted, just nuzzling his face and churring gently. “I’ll find a way to make it better next time.”

Next time?

He pulls out of Raph’s stretched hole and retreats to his desk, though not before delivering a hefty smack to his brother’s exposed ass. Don's chair scrapes across the floor, and once Raph finally manages to turn his head he can see Donnie's right back at his work, acting like nothing had ever happened. "I'll fix your bike tomorrow," he says suddenly, though he's back to not looking at Raph. His gaze is fixed on his beaker, this time with reignited passion burning in his eyes. Raphael can just barely hear him muttering something under his breath as the liquid bubbles and pops.

“...enhance it...” His mind a jumbled mess and body a horny wreck, it takes Raph a few moments to peel himself from the desk, cum leaking down his thighs as he waddles out of the lab, hands still bound tight behind his back and cock bobbing between his legs.

[tmnt-veelicious]

Across the Stars - Ch.12

I am so incredibly sorry for the wait !!! So many shits happened recently and I had so little time to actually sit down and write anything ! I feel like the ending of that chapter is a bit rushed, but I was just getting tired at the end and I just want to get on with it ‘cause it’s gonna be fuuuuuuunnnn !!!! ANYWAY, HERE IT IS.

!! WARNING, NSFW (18+) STUFF HAPPENING HERE !!

First Chapter --> HERE Previous Chapter --> HERE Next Chapter --> HERE

There were two rules for tonight: No boyfriends. Lots of alcohol! April still kept her promise from Vee's birthday and both girls were now walking into a nightclub, the music's deep basses felt in the air. The surroundings were thick with heat and illuminated by the dancing spotlights. Tonight was all about them, their friendship and about forgetting every problems in the world. Drinks in hand, it didn't take long for both women to freely slip into the nightlife style, their bodies following the pulsing tones. It had been some years since Vee participated in such activity. In her early adult years she had seen and experienced many situations regarding that nocturnal lifestyle. Some were memorable, others right down terrifying, but overall it always provided her a view on how humanity could turn for the worst – or sometimes the best – in the absence of sunlight. Humans were nothing but animals, either preys or predators, lurking in the shadows and acting in forbidden ways. ''You know,'' started April as they both were on their third drink, sitting at a booth. ''We've been living together for almost a year now and I feel like there's still things you're hiding from me.'' Vee laughed, mostly dued to her drunk state. ''What could I tell more? My life is so boring anyway.'' ''What do you mean, boring?!'' replied the brunette back with a smirk. ''Not everyone can say they've fucked a mutant, that's special.'' ''SHHHsHshshhSHhh, don't say it outloud,'' tried to hush Vee, giggling. Their hilarity didn't last for long, the artist already back to her drink. April could notice some uneasiness from her friend, the reporter silently studying her. ''… Why did you leave your country? What's the real reason?'' Vee's smile faded for some seconds, everything so silent all of a sudden. She didn't really know how to answer, but words left her anyway: ''To get a fresh start, get a new life. Everything back home brought me down and it always reminded me of how pathetic I am. I had so many plans, hopes and dreams, but they all got crushed by unfortunate events and bad choices. My family wanted me to be someone I'm not and it tore me up inside...'' She emptied her glass, putting it down harshly. ''I can't stand living a boring, repetitive life. I can't stand doing the same work over and over again. What I want to do is stressful and highly unpredictable, but so rewarding in the end! … I want to create and let my imagination flow freely. What good is life if I can't?...'' April smirked, somehow glad to see this side of Vee. That inner fire, that desire. She knew the artist was passionate, but also knew that something was missing for her to fully accomplish her goals... She was about to speak when a frown invaded her features instead, spotting something in the crowd. Three guys were walking around, looking rather suspcious. One of them had a large purple dragon tattoo on his arm... Purple. THE PURPLE DRAGONS! April grasped Vee's arm, her eyes following the three men who were making their way to a dark corner of the club. The artist followed her gaze, frowning in concern. ''… What?'' she asked. ''It's the Purple Dragons! They're here! They're probably involved with the Foot Clan.'' ''Woah, woah, wooaahh,'' stopped Vee, visibly confused. ''First of all, who are they?'' ''They're a gang residing in Chinatown. We have to follow them!'' added April, already getting up, holding her phone out. Vee firmly held April's arm, stopping her. ''Hey! What do you think you're doing? If, like you said, they're involved with the Foot Clan, we can't just follow them. What if they catch us spying?'' The reporter pulled the other up, bringing her to follow her steps amongst the crowd. ''We have to see what they're up to,'' she said. ''The turtles need any clues we could find. I've agreed to help them and now I can't back up.'' ''For fuck's sake, April!'' complained Vee, still being dragged. ''We're both drunk, they'll spot us!'' Vee could feel her heart beating hard against her chest, visibly afraid. Soon both women found their way to a darker corner of the nightclub, lightspots rarely shining over there and the lighting dimmed out. April quickly studied the place before turning around to Vee, her eyes as big as plates. ''Oh my fucking god, Karai is here.'' ''… Wasn't she in prison?'' asked Vee. ''Yes! She must have escaped very recently or else Casey would have told me! What is she even doing here? This is bad...'' ''How much bad?'' ''Bad enough that if she spots me, we're in deep shit.'' ''Okay then, let's get out of here,'' hissed Vee through her gritted teeth. ''We have to take a picture first.'' Oh gosh, Vee wanted to shake her friend so bad. ''Are you out of your frickin' mind? We just have to tell the boys what we've seen and it'll be okay.'' April didn't listen to her, already opening the camera on her phone. ''April, for fuck's sake-'' ''They need to see who's surrounding her, they'll know who to look for,'' cut April. A flash exploded from her phone, revealing their presence. All heads were now turned towards both women, Karai easily spotting the brunette. She pointed in their direction, saying something to the others, probably commanding to capture both women... ''Run!'' urged April, pushing and dragging Vee another time. Vee had no time to think, going through the crowd as if running through dense vegetation. Everything seemed blurry, every sounds muffled dued to the immense stress and rush of adrenaline she was now feeling. She only had to look behind her once to know that they were being followed by a group of men, probably Foot Clan ninjas. Soon enough they were outside, still running. At some point Vee lost her high heels, not even caring as she knew she'd run better without them (although running barefeet in this cold weather was no ideal situation...). ''Over there!'' they heard someone shout. April, still holding Vee's hand, rushed towards an alley in hopes of finding a manhole cover. Her wish was granted as the shape of one stood out from the small layer of snow on the ground. ''Help me out!'' she told Vee as she started to lift it. Both women joined their efforts, soon the metal piece out of the way. Sound brought their attention, spotting the ninjas coming through the alleyway. Vee did not wait to jump in, rapidly followed by April, the girls back to running. The brunette had her phone out again, rapidly dialing a number. ''Leo! 5th and 23rd. We're in the sewers, followed by the Foot.'' Vee knew the reporter was calling for help and she couldn't be even more grateful. She thought they'd be running forever until April pulled her to a dark corner, motioning her to stay quiet. They could hear the Foot ninjas approaching, suddenly on their guard, knowing something was wrong as they couldn't hear the women running anymore. Vee couldn't breathe anymore, her whole self frozen in fear, hoping their hiding spot wouldn't get noticed. After what seemed like eternity, a strangled gasp escaped one of the men, suddenly disappearing in the shadows. The others were on high alert, their weapons out. A shuriken was thrown to attract their attention, Leo the first one to jump in and disarming one guy. Soon enough the whole gang was there, pushing the enemy away. Everything was happening in a flash, Vee getting to experience the turtles really fighting for the first time. Her gaze found Donnie in all this hell, a strong shiver going through her as she could witness his true strength. She got back to reality as she spotted Mikey next to her and April, urging them to follow him to safety. Her body was moving on its own, unable to focus as the only sounds invading her ears were crashes and screams. *** ''What the hell were you thinking?'' scolded Leo as they were back to the lair. April was already bringing up the picture she took at the nightclub, shoving it in the leader's face. ''We saw Karai! She got out of prison and she's with the Purple Dragons!'' He snatched the device out of her hands, still frowning: ''Still, what you did was foolish.'' ''So what?!'' replied April, annoyed. ''You asked for my help and I provided. I called you for help next, wasn't that good enough? What was I supposed to do?'' ''Call us BEFORE getting in trouble,'' said Leo, his tone rising. ''We could have gone there and handle things on our own. Now you've compromised this mission and Karai is out there, probably running away from us.'' He caught a smell of her state. ''… Plus you both are drunk, no wonder you fucked it up.'' ''We did the best we could,'' tried to add Vee, trying not to show that she was shaking. ''We didn't expect for them to show up there....'' ''Give 'em some slack, Leo,'' said Raph. ''They're safe now, there's no need to be angry.'' ''I don't give a fuck, they ruined all our efforts!'' Raphael didn't like his brother's tone, knowing this wasn't his habitual behavior. He was staring down the blue clad terrapin, his stance on the defensive. ''Calm the fuck down,'' he warned. Leo was about to replicate that another voice stopped him. ''Leonardo, come with me,'' said master Splinter, standing near the scene, lightly frowning and his tail nervously swinging. Tension seemed to escape the leader's body, letting out a sharp sigh as he followed his father away. A long silence invaded the group, Raph's posture finally relaxing. Mikey was the first to break the ice, letting out a low whistle: ''Wow, I think that's the first time I see Raph trying to calm down Leo.'' ''That's 'cause he's a dumbass,'' simply said the red clad mutant, walking away next. *** Donatello had been silent ever since they came back, but now that he and Vee were finally alone in his room, he couldn't stop. ''Are you hurt?'' ''What are you doing, walking around without shoes? You'll catch a cold!'' ''They didn't touch you, right?'' Vee didn't have time to answer any of his questions, the turtle examining her, next bringing a blanket around her, trying to keep her warm enough. She couldn't look straight at him, somehow ashamed. ''Leo was right,'' she finally was able to say. ''What we did was stupid...'' Donnie sighed, standing before Vee. He gently cupped her face, slightly tilting her head so she could meet his gaze. ''You're safe, that's all I need to know.'' ''Are you angry?'' asked the woman next. ''Against the Foot, yes. Against you, no. … April had good intentions, but both your inebriated state didn't help. It was all a serie of unfortunate events.'' ''I didn't even want to do that,'' added Vee, tears of rage escaping her. ''I wanted to go away, but she dragged me and I blindly followed. I- … I didn't know what to do.'' Many thoughts crossed the mutant's mind, frowning at such revelation. ''But now that it's done,'' continue Vee, ''I'll stand by her side. We were in this together and she's my friend. I won't let her take shit because of this. … Leo was being a dick back there.'' ''You have to understand; we've been trying to find clues about this whole affair for two months now. It doesn't look like it, but Leo's been stressed a lot these days...'' ''He shouldn't lash it all on us though!'' She couldn't stop her crying, visibly hurt. All her stress was finally falling down, both angry and ashamed. She could hear Donnie let out a soft churr, trying to soothe her as he left a kiss on top of her head, keeping her in his arms. ''He was scared, Vee, we all were,'' he said calmly. ''… You're both family, we'll always protect you. … I'll always protect you.'' A tired attempt at a chuckle escaped Vee, nuzzling the other's torso. ''I have no trouble believing that, you looked so badass back there,'' she commented. ''You can protect me anytime.'' A small giggle-snort escaped Donnie, nuzzling Vee's hair in return. When the woman looked back to him, she still had some tears flowing down, although a sweet smile was showing on her lips. ''It's funny...,'' she started. ''April was asking me earlier why I moved out of my country, why I came here. … At first I thought there was no special reason, that my life was simply boring, but now I wouldn't exchange any of this for nothing.'' She tried to wipe the wet traces on her cheeks. ''Sometimes it's scary and unpredictable, but as long as you're by my side, I feel like nothing could ever go wrong...'' He knew this would never be the case. Danger was always around the corner for the turtles and he knew Vee could one day become an easy target. He then vowed to himself that he would always protect her. He would do anything for her... *** Vee and April had stayed for the night at the lair, in case the Foot Clan was still on the lookout for them. The artist barely slept that night dued to insomnia, calling in sick at her job the next morning. April, on the other hand, left early, accompanied by Leo – the leader probably feeling bad about his outburst and wanting to apologize. Donnie couldn't be more pleased to have Vee by his side for the day, keeping things calm around her as the woman had a slight hangover. She was dressed for a lazy day: a spare pair of black leggings she had left in his room, a large shirt and her hair brought in a messy bun. It wasn't the best look, but she knew Donnie loved it as he showered her in kisses and compliments. The day had been slow so far, Donatello working on his computer as he tried to find clues about last night's encounter and Vee mindlessly drawing beside him. She watched him work for a while, unable to focus on her drawing. She couldn't help juggling a question in her mind, always curious about one detail ever since they started dating. She rolled her chair next to Donnie's, leaning on his desk so she could catch his eyes. ''Hey there, beautiful,'' she greeted, playful. The turtle stopped, his eyes round until he laughed a little after her comment. He took this moment as a reason for a break, leaning back into his chair, stretching a bit. ''I have a question.'' He paused, looking back at Vee, intrigued. ''Sure, what is it?'' The woman smiled softly, resting a cheek against her held up palm, studying her lover. ''… I noticed something whenever we're intimate. It's nothing big, at least that's what I'm guessing, but I do wonder.... You make that sort of purring sound. It's low, almost inaudible, but I can feel it. What is it? What does it mean?'' Donnie blushed, gulping as he tried to sit straight, his hand grabbing the woman's free one, trying to focus his thoughts as he caressed her skin. ''Uhm, well, … first of all it's called churring. It's a rumbling sound we make whenever we experience strong emotions, such as happiness or … arousal.'' ''Is it a sound that could entice or encourage sexual intercourse?'' asked Vee, curious. Donnie cleared his throat, trying to be as serious as she was. ''In a sense, yes. I wouldn't call it a mating call, but I do guess it could serve the purpose of arousing a partner.'' Vee frowned, pensive. Her eyes wandered for a moment, as if trying to search for something. When she finally looked back to the mutant, still frowning slightly, she sat straight, breathing in and finally exhaling slowly, a quiet growling sound rising in her throat and thorax as she kept her mouth shut. Donatello was surprised, moving towards the human, some amazement showing on his face as he cupped Vee's face. ''How did you do that?'' he asked, grinning. The woman giggled: ''I simply relaxed my vocal chords and opened up, thinking wide! When the air goes through them, the vibration is more intense and I try to go towards low sounds. … I guess singing helps about getting a better control.'' The turtle studied her features, his smile never fading. ''… Do it again,'' he said quietly. Vee laughed, then focusing, her low purr back again. She could feel Donnie's hands slowly study her jaw and neck, feeling her work. His touch lingered, his fingers like feathers on her skin... Soon his churr rose, accompanying the human's. They instinctively moved closer, the turtle still cupping the other's face. He slowly nuzzled her features, letting his vibrations run through her, their lips barely brushing against one another... A soft giggle escaped Vee. ''Doing it for too long tickles and now you're not helping,'' she said, amused. She could feel Donnie's smile against her skin, the turtle gently getting a hold of the woman's wrists and bringing her towards him, sitting her in his lap. His churr never stopped, now his movements slower, still nuzzling her features and leaving small kisses here and there. Vee closed her eyes, somehow surprised by this sudden tenderness, feeling an urge to be closer... She dared do her sound once more, the mutant replying with kisses on her neck, one hand lost in her hair and the other at her back. Sensing the vibrations in his thorax, the woman could only feel attraction, starting to experience a need, now that she knew what it meant. Donnie's chair was now facing his lab area, hiding the couple from the open space of the lair. He finally took the chance to bring his lips to hers, his desire growing with each seconds. He couldn't help feeling extreme arousal at that moment, knowing Vee's ability to produce such sound woke something primal in him. The woman shifted her position, now straddling and facing him, her hands never leaving his skin as they kept kissing. Donnie's hands found their place at her hips, gently moving her in a wave pattern, rubbing against his now present bulge. ''This is turning out to be an interesting experiment,'' commented Vee, taking back her breath. She exhaled with a new purr, the other humming in approval as he kept her close, his hands squeezing in need. ''This is driving me crazy right now,'' added Donatello, his voice mixed with his constant growl. He was about to lift Vee's shirt that the woman stopped him, looking over his chair for a moment. ''Not here,'' she lightly scolded, not hiding her small laugh. ''Your brothers are still around, somewhere.'' The turtle didn't answer, placing his arms under the human's ass, keeping her against him as he got up, grinning. Vee gasped, surprised, putting her arms around his neck, a soft giggle rising as the other made his way towards his bedroom. He didn't even look back once, his eyes planted on Vee, closing the door harshly with his foot, hurrying to a desk in his room, tossing what was on it and landing the woman on the surface. This time he did not wait to remove her shirt, his need telling him to rip off her bra, but his mind stopping him, preferring to be careful and unclapse it in one gesture. He didn't miss Vee's renewed gasps, her body leaning towards him, her thighs slightly squeezing his waist. The garment out of the way, Donnie's hands traveled to her sides, his thumbs massaging her breasts and nipples, getting a moan out of her in answer. He had never felt this dizzy, filled with the most pleasant sensations. Nuzzling her, taking her scent, he wanted to hear her forever, claim her as his own... One of his hands easily went to her core, under her leggings and underwear, stroking her out of pure lust. His mouth got to her neck, his kisses stronger, biting lightly by occasion. ''Oh, Don,'' breathed out Vee, lost in pleasure. She scratched his skin, mostly towards his hips. She was about to slid her hand under his pants that the mutant's stance shifted, lowering himself as he completely undressed the woman. He moved her legs apart, bringing her closer to the desk's edge, then approaching and licking her folds. A strangled gasp escaped Vee, her hands getting a hold of the mutant's head, unknowingly keeping him close as she bit her lip. Her fingers then traveled along his mask, grabbing the tails and wrapping them around her palms, keeping a certain control. The turtle's constant churr could be felt, augmenting each sensations, keeping the woman on a certain high. She began to roll her hips with his rhythm, her breathing echoing, translating her desire. She got her first orgasm as he kept doing circles around her clit, her second coming a little while after, as he tongue-fucked her. She felt numb, on a cloud, her voice a plaintive mess as she begged him to come back to her. Donnie did move, but he lightly pushed the woman so she would lay on the desk, his form then hunching over her, trailing kisses around her features before he got to her lips, their tongues brushing in a sensual pattern. The human could feel him thrust his bulge against her sex; eager, needy. The sensation was pleasant, but she could only whimper, pleading to feel him nearer, entirely... His rumbling got stronger, moving away for a slight moment only so he could unzip his pants and lower them a little with his boxers, freeing himself. He got a hold of his sex, rubbing its head against the woman's entrance, sighing at the sensation. His gaze was now dark, filled with lust, locking on the woman's face as he watched her hiss and moan, her body invaded by many feelings. ''Fuck me, Donnie, please,'' she sighed, lovesick. The turtle felt himself melt at the other's tone, a strong shiver going through him as he joined their bodies, a long moan leaving them both. His instincts told him to go fast, lose all restraint, but on the other hand he wanted to enjoy this, going slowly, hitting all the right spots. He rested the woman's legs against his torso and shoulders, his hands caressing them, squeezing her thighs from times to times. ''You feel so good, baby...'' he mumbled, rolling his hips against Vee's skin. The woman only answered in plaintive, mewling sounds, her hands lost in her hair, her torso stretching with pleasure. She let him enjoy himself for a while, but her inner fire was demanding for more... ''I wanna be on top of you,'' she said, lost in her feelings. ''Hmm, I wanna move faster, love.'' She could feel Donnie's chest rumble stronger, getting to a stop, leaving some kisses to her right ankle, trailing along her snowflakes tattoo, before he moved away from her and helped her down the desk. No words were needed as they moved to the bed, the mutant sitting down and his shell going against the wall, giving him support. Vee easily got over him, not wasting any time to grab his penis and guide him back into her, humming in pleasure. She landed her hands on the turtle's torso, moving her hips up and down in a sensual pattern, biting her lip as she felt the other's hands trail along her arms and body. Their breathings were soon following the same rhythm, the human's thrusts starting to gain speed, her lust rising once more. She sat straight after a while, grabbing her lover's hands, guiding one to her breasts, bringing the other to her face, kissing his palm. ''You fill me so good,'' she moaned, shifting his hand to her throat. She wanted him to feel her renewed purr, excite him more. That action simply brought the mutant to rise his knees, his hips slightly changing their angle, the woman obliged to move towards him, her torso against his. Donnie's arms went around her, emprisoning her. His pace caught on hers, but this time he went stronger, bringing out more cries from Vee. He nuzzled her hair, telling her how good she felt, how he loved to fuck her, that he wanted to keep her forever for himself... Nothing else existed at this very moment, both lovers' minds blank, lost in this pleasure. Donnie did notice a change in the woman's breathing pattern, indicating her nearing end. He focused on her voice, the feeling of her skin against his, the smell of her arousal. When he felt her clench around him, her body rubbing against him, he lost it all, his churr stronger than ever, a long moan leaving him by the same occasion. He rode the waves of his orgasm with long, sensual thrusts, his hands gently clawing the woman's back. He could barely come back to reason that he felt Vee's lips against his, her kiss slow and tender. Donnie felt relaxed, his mucles rid of any tension, leaving a hand behind the other's head, lost in her hair. Their kiss turned into frenching, that simple action surpassing any words or compliments. He did smile when he heard the woman hum in pleasure, next leaving his forehead against hers, his hands petting her all around. ''That was intense,'' she murmured, nuzzling his cheek. ''… I need to remind myself to do that sound whenever I want it this way, holy fuck.'' Donnie chuckled, then sighing tenderly as he hugged Vee closer. ''It was kind of strange to hear that sound coming from you,'' he started. ''I'm used to only hearing myself so I never mind that action.... But when you did it, it's like it switched something inside.'' ''Stay tuned for next week's episode of 'How to bang your mutant': learn how to churr your way into hot sex,'' commented Vee with amusement. This time the turtle exploded with laughter, the woman following his hilarity. Still laying on top of him, Vee sighed, her finger tracing random patterns on his torso, pensive as she showed a smirk. ''You know... you're really good for someone who's never had any relationship before. Are you a sex god by any chance?'' she asked half-jokingly. Donnie chuckled with a small snort, a slight blush appearing. He mumbled something, the words escaping the woman. ''… What?'' she questionned, squinting a little. ''I watched a lot of porn, okay?!'' confessed the mutant. ''I mean, that's all I could do, right?'' Vee snickered, first answering with a quick peck on her lover's cheek. ''There's nothing wrong with that! All I can say is that you learned well,'' she smiled. ''… What kind do you like to watch?'' ''Oh my god, we are NOT talking about that,'' laughed Donnie, suddenly embarassed. ''Why not?'' added Vee, still smiling sweetly. ''It's not a bad thing and there's most certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Personally, porn makes me laugh because sometimes I think it's over-acted and exaggerated, but that's just my personal taste. If you enjoy it, you do you.'' ''Oh stop being so open-minded!'' teased Donnie in a playful way. ''… You're just so perfect right now. I don't need any of those videos these days, you're all I need and wished for.'' He trailed some kisses on top of her head, seizing this moment to take in her scent, forever intoxicating... ''And for your information, I do like it soft,'' he murmured next with a light chuckle. Vee hummed, her hands slowly trailing around on his skin. The turtle did the same, a sigh escaping him as he gently caressed the woman's back. This moment of peace was more than welcomed, Donnie's thoughts finally setting down from this high he just experienced. The more his thoughts shifted, the more his touch slowed down, lightly frowning. Vee noticed that change, lifting her eyes to him. ''… What's wrong?'' she asked in a small voice. He seemed to realize how he must have looked, slightly shaking his head and the attempt of a smile coming on his lips. ''I just keep thinking,'' he started. ''… Being who I am, I'll never be able to offer you things humans normally do: going on dates, walking around in public while holding your hand, stuff like that... It keeps me wondering what can you possibly see in me.'' A light chuckle escaped Vee, making the other frown a little. ''I don't need all of that stuff,'' she said, one of her hands getting to his cheek, her thumb slowly brushing his skin. Her gaze could only translate her love. ''I don't need fancy dates, walks amongst busy crowds or anything like that. A date with you is spending precious time in your company, doing things we both love. … I'm not asking you to be a human, I'm asking you to be you.'' ''Won't you get tired, though? Won't you long to partake in such activities once more?'' ''Those things annoy me, to say the truth...'' Her eyes caught his, trying to understand his feelings. ''… Don't be scared about those things, Donnie,'' she reassured. ''I want to be with you. I love you... I love you so much,'' she ended calmly, nuzzling her nose against his cheek. She felt the turtle's arms tighten around her a little, a long sigh escaping him. ''… How could I ever be this lucky?'' he next said in hushed tones. ''Luck has nothing to do with it,'' added Vee. ''We were just meant to be.'' ''Still, there was a fifty percent chance that I'd finally kick my own butt and decide to meet you.... If I had decided not to go, I would have missed all of this, all of you.'' ''Don't think in numbers, think with your heart... One day or another, our paths would have crossed. I just know it.'' A small smirk showed on the turtle's lips: ''You know what needs to cross my path right now? … Poptarts.'' ''Oh dear.'' ''I have such a craving, it's unbelievable.'' ''You better share or else I'll hide the box!'' *** The dojo always was either a place of peace or a turbulence of strength, a brutal ocean. This time only the sounds of calm breaths filled the room, like constant waves caressing the shores. It wasn't rare nowadays for Vee and Leo to meditate together, both knowing this activity brought them peace of mind. Although that session didn't feel as comfortable as the others, especially knowing how things unfolded last night... Vee could sense some uneasiness coming out of the leader, even if he tried so hard to keep his composure. The artist could only breathe peacefully, trying to convey her feeling of calmness as the atmosphere felt like a tug-of-war inbetween the panicking terrapin and the afterglowing human. Frowning after a while, Vee decided to get up with a sigh, making her way towards the kitchen to grab the usual tea set and cups. When she returned, she placed the plateau right in front of Leo, sitting across, facing the leader. ''Speak,'' she simply said. As the mutant had kept his eyes closed, he then opened one, gazing down the woman with slight confusion. ''I'm not finished,'' he simply said, closing back his eye, trying to regain his posture. ''I'm unfortunately an empath and right now I know you're feeling shitty. Since I can't meditate in peace, it'll be the same for you. I won't leave you until you speak your mind.'' The blue clad turtle sighed deeply, looking back at Vee with an annoyed gaze. Although he knew she was right... He took the cup Vee handed him, taking a sip before he decided to talk. ''… I'm sorry, about last night.'' ''Donnie told me you were feeling stressed with this whole ordeal-'' ''Still, that doesn't excuse my attitude,'' he calmly cut. ''… Many emotions invaded me and I let them take the best out of me; that's not how I was taught to handle things.'' ''It's okay to have some slip ups from times to times,'' added Vee. Her fingers lightly tapped around her cup, pensive. ''… I understand how frustrating it can be to see something you've been working on for such a long time just go wrong, even for one little moment. I know what April and I did last night was foolish and dangerous, but it was all in good intentions.'' Leo stopped her, holding his palm up: ''I know, I know... April went through the same speech herself. … I appreciate both your efforts and your concerns, but now we need to focus on the future, about a plan, rather than get stuck in the past and its errors.'' Vee somehow looked defeated, unable to keep her gaze on the leader. ''Even if we came up with a plan, who knows if we'd be able to keep it? Personally, I know that when I'm facing danger, I either get stuck, unable to do any moves, or I snap and actually do something. … It's really hard to know how I'll react in certain situations.'' ''That's why my plan is to get you two out of any situation,'' replied Leo. ''Even April?'' questionned the artist, confused. ''I thought you guys needed her help.'' ''And we got it,'' lightly smiled the terrapin. ''Now that we know Karai is back, we can take it from here. April is no ninja, although she knows how to defend herself. … Karai is not like any low-life gang member. She has ressources and power; she won't hesitate to use any means to get to us, which might mean that she could use both of you as bait.'' ''Then what do you suggest?'' ''One of us will accompany you both at night when you get out of work and walk you home. We'll each have our turns.'' Vee couldn't help frowning, feeling some disbelief regarding Leo's idea. ''… Leo, you guys can't keep doing that forever, it's ridiculous!'' ''No it's not,'' he frowned in return. ''Have you at least told your brothers about this plan?'' ''Not yet, but I know they will agree to it, at least I know Donnie will.'' The woman sighed, leaving her cup down. ''Look … I know you have good intentions and it's appreciated, but I have the feeling this is getting out of hands. What next? We won't be able to get out our appartment without any of you guys? … Unfortunately, danger is at every corners of this city and we have to accept that reality. What about Mikasa? Will you also try to overprotect her?'' ''No need to bring her into this; she knows how to defend herself and she's not known to Karai.'' ''Then teach us, teach me how to defend myself. I'm willing to do it if it can ease your mind.'' Leonardo paused, seriously considering this idea. He finally smiled: ''I'm no sensei, I'm not ready to teach-'' ''Then I will,'' added another voice from the dojo's entrance. Both their gazes wandered to the newcomer, discovering that it was none other than master Splinter. Leo instantly got up, properly greeting his father with a respectful bow. ''Sensei … how long have you been listening?'' he asked, lightly ashamed. ''Long enough to hear about your plan,'' answered the rat, walking towards the duo. Vee got up too, to be polite. She stayed silent, waiting to see how things would unfold. ''You have a good heart,'' started Splinter, leaving a hand on his son's forearm gently. ''But Vee is right; you won't be able to do this forever. Overprotecting won't prevent things from going wrong. Remember how you and your brothers disobeyed me and went above ground without my permission....'' Leo smiled once more to this thought, but was quick to regain a serious composure. ''I'm just trying to protect my family,'' he quietly said. ''And it is not a bad thing! But what you need to learn now is to trust them. … I trust that you will be able to protect them, but you must believe that they'll be able to do the same for themselves and even for you.'' The terrapin inhaled slowly, weighing his father's words. He finally let out a sharp puff, hands on his hips as he glanced between the rat and the human. ''Okay then, train her. See what you can do, but let me – let us protect them until she's able to defend herself properly, April included.'' Vee felt victorious, but she lowkey knew it would take time for her to get to an acceptable level for the leader. April would easily succeed while the artist would most certainly struggle at some points. It was only best to try at that point!

[defectivemecha]

TMNC(at)- A TMNT OC insert Part 1.01

Okay, I stand corrected. Each episode may have to be split into three parts? Please bear with me.

S01E02- A Better Mousetrap 2/3

Of course, it couldn’t have been more than an hour or two before I could hear Leo and Raf starting to argue downstairs. ‘Is it too much to hope that they’ll knock each other out before too long?’ I groaned and scrunched up tighter as the argument escalated. ‘How in the world does Splinter sleep through this?’ “Fine, I’ll deal with it.” I growled to the ceiling before rolling out of my comfortable nest to go separate the two idiots before something regrettable was said. When I got downstairs, the scene was pretty much as expected, Mikey was passed out in front of the still-running TV and Donnie was working on a mouser that looked to be whole again, while Leo and Raf were grappling in the tunnel leading into the lair. ‘So… What, one of them tried to leave the Lair?’ I leapt down to the bottom floor just as Don exclaimed triumphantly, “Ha! I got it working again!” Mikey suddenly shot into wakefulness again as Don began typing up a storm on his computer.

“Hey, awesome! But, uh, what are you doing now?” Mikey asked, still obviously half asleep. “I’m looking for some kind of return code, something I can use to track it back to the source.” Donnie explained, waving at me as I examined the little tin terror uneasily. “Maybe if we can figure out where it came into the sewer, we can block the door and at least stem the tide until I can devise a way to keep these mousers out of the lair.” “Sounds good,” I responded absently as the arguing in the tunnel became a fight, “in the meantime, I’ll see what I can do about shutting up the testosterone twins so that relative peace may be restored.” Donnie shrugged as Mikey snickered, they were used to the conflicts, I was still new enough to the idea of sibling rivalry that it bugged me.

In the way of things, though, I didn’t get farther than halfway before- “Oh for-” Donnie smothered a curse as the mouser sprung to life and cleared his desk for him as it trotted in the direction of the tunnels. For being so stout, it was an agile little thing, dodging tackles from both Mikey and Donnie on its merry way around the main chamber. “Donnie, I swear,” I vowed, snagging my knives and weapons belt from the rack. “If you can’t learn to control your toys!” I flung a shuriken, but the little monster turned before it could hit! “Hey, it wasn’t my fault!” Donnie claimed indignantly as he grabbed his bo-staff. “Um, yeah, that would be my bad. Actually.” Mikey grinned sheepishly as I glared at him. “No time! It’s getting away!” Donnie cried.

What ensued was a five mutant race to keep up with one overpowered toaster as it led us into the tunnels closer to the subway system. “Whoa,” I skidded to a stop as the mouser continued clattering it’s merry way out of the tunnel and along a pipe that spanned the length of a massive septic-tank-thing? “Watch your step here guys,” Leo warned, “don’t wanna end up as mutant soup.” I shuddered as I regarded the drop, and the smell, thankfully I had to pay too much attention to my footing to worry about other things, like what I was stepping in. Of course, things only got better, because the mouser began climbing the wall!

Of course, we all had a pair of shuko spikes on us, metal spikes on substantial “gloves” used for climbing when anything else is too clumsy, it’s not easy to climb with them, but it’s doable. “Uhg. Next time, let’s leave the wall crawling to the dude in the blue and red tights!” Mikey complained. “You read way too many comic books.” Leo retorted. “Hey Tami, why not just use your claws?” Mikey wondered. “Because I’m not Wolverine.” I panted, glaring at the robot that was dragging me ever farther from my warm bed. “Meaning,” I continued, “that my claws are barely stronger than normal fingernails, so trying to climb with just my claws would only end in a very messy declawing. Answer your question well enough?” Mikey thought it over for a second, “Yeah, I think so.” he conceded. “Hallelujah.” I muttered, the bot had finally climbed into a tunnel. A few moments later, and we were back to running down dark and smelly tunnels.

“Just curious, Don.” Mikey started apprehensively, “What’s to stop Old Turbo Jaws from munching up another 6.2 on the Richter scale?” ‘Good question. This thing surprised Donnie once.’ “I shut down its jaw servos.” Donnie stated, a quick glance showed that he was pretty confident. “It couldn’t even chew through a stick of gum!” Which was the universe’s cue to hand it’s beer over to a half-conscious karma, the mouser skidded to a stop and proceeded to daintily chomp a hole through to wall of the tunnel. “You were saying?” Rafael snarked as we slid to a stop. “But I-” Donatello faltered, “I’m sure I shut it down.” I looked the mouser over curiously as it started in on the wall itself, for Stockman to one up Donnie like this is a fair testament to the former’s skill as a techie. “Oh,” Mikey sighed jokingly, “Don’s finally lost his techno mojo. Sad, really.” Donnie made a face as he regarded the tiny terminator. “It must have some kind of… Security override routine.” He mused, “Come on!” ‘Why would a PR project like a rat-catcher have advanced security measures?’ I wondered as we rushed the freshly made tunnel. ‘Heck, why would a rat-catcher need the ability to burst through walls like the Kool-Aid man?’

“Oh no.” Donnie groaned. “What is it Don?” Leo asked. “If I’m not mistaken,” Donnie began, “that’s a serious water main hanging right over heads!” ‘No-no-no-no, please tell me he’s not about to say-’ “So?” Raf prompted, just as leaks began to sprout ominously from the pipe. “So!” Donnie yelped. “Our little mouser friend just ate through the pipe’s support!” Cluuunk! ‘Fudge-’ I scrambled for the tunnel just as Leo cried, “Incoming!” and the old pipe burst, before any of us could get out of the way! ‘Faced-’ I grabbed the pipes along the wall and the back of Mikey’s belt just as the water hit. ‘Fools-’ Thankfully, they all had good reflexes and survival instincts, so he managed to grab Leo and Raf, who in turn had Donnie. ‘Frolicking with-’ Unfortunately, mutant or not, trying to anchor a 5 person daisy chain against the full fury of a bursting water main is not feasible without extra gear. ‘Frivolous-’ I slipped, and we got washed out the tunnel, the initial surge had enough power to send us tumbling into the yawning chasm of sewage. ‘Frogs!’

What followed was nothing short of a miracle of training and luck, Donnie was able to catch himself on a sturdy pipe with his bo-staff. “Grab on!” He shouted desperately. Somehow, Leo, Raf, Mikey, and I were able to grab hold in yet another daisy chain. “Ouch!” Yelped Mikey. “Watch the claws, Tami!” I grimaced. “Sorry,” I snarled, “I just gained 15 pounds of water weight in 5 seconds and lost a year of life to unmitigated terror, so bear with me for a moment while I ATTEMPT TO THINK CALMING THOUGHTS WHILE HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE TO A FLOGGING CHAIN OF TURTLES ABOVE AN UNREASONABLY LARGE SEWAGE SYSTEM!” My volume had built to full on tirade before I could even register the building hysteria. “Ow!” Barked Raf, cutting me off before I could start berating people. “Watch your own claws, Mike!” Mikey writhed a bit. “Aw, keep your shell on Raf!” Mikey teased as he began to swing his feet, and me, like a pendulum. ‘WHAT DOES HE THINK-’ “I got an idea!” My stomach clenched again as he got the whole chain swaying. “MICHELANGELO DON’T-” The threat was cut off by a shriek of pure terror as the momentum caused Donnie to lose his grip and send us sailing through space, and water again.

“Huff!” I wheezed, slamming into the wall face first and shortly followed by one, two, three, four similar impacts all around me. “Guys,” Donnie panted, somewhere above and to the right of me. “Is everyone okay?” Someone spat down and to my left, “Peachy.” Raf growled. ‘Speak for yourself!’ I was having issues hanging onto my dinner, and my breath. Glad as I was to feel solidly anchored again, even if into a wall, there was no way I was thanking Mikey for this stunt. “Yo, Tam.” Raf nudged me slightly, “You alright?” I couldn’t move, the adrenaline had my heart pumping so hard I could barely hear them, but my muscles felt frozen. I couldn’t even move my tail! “No, she isn’t.” Leo snapped from above, and I could nearly hear the glare he shot Mikey. “Quickly, Don, give Raf and Mikey your bo-staff.” “Gotcha, bro.” I heard wood scrape against brick, and the slap of wood against flesh as Mikey caught it. “Now, Mikey, carefully slide it between Tami and the wall. Raf, grab the end. The two of you are gonna have to work the one shuko with your foot to free your hand. Now the two of you need to move so your staff-hand is level with her stomach.” Shuffling and scraping as Mikey and Raf moved to be parallel with me and I could hear Don’s bo staff scrape against the wall just above my belly button.

“Tamara, can you hear me?” I eased an eye open and looked up at Leo. “I need you to trust us. Drop and grab the staff, Mikey and Raf can carry you up until we reach a tunnel.” ‘Drop? Again?!’ I gave an involuntary whimper as my arms trembled ominously. “Get ready,” Donnie warned. My fingers released the shuko spikes just as Raf and Mikey moved the staff farther from the wall, causing the staff to hit me dead in the chest and helping me wrap my arms around the strong wood. Though I had faith in the brothers’ strength and dexterity, breathing was a trial until Leo grabbed me by the waist and set my feet on solid ground, well away from the edge. Unfortunately, my legs were considerably less solid and I slumped against the wall as my knees gave out. ‘Breathe. In for 5… Out for 10… Focus on the stability of the earth around you.’ I focused on this as Michelangelo and Rafael climbed into the tunnel. “Hey,” Mikey knelt down beside me. “Tim-Tam, you going to be okay?” It was petty, and he certainly sounded apologetic, but that doesn’t change the fact that-

“YOU OVERGROWN, SOFT-SHELLED, NITWIT!!” I screamed, launching myself at him as the residual adrenaline sparked a bout of short-lived fury. “WARN US NEXT TIME!!!” I landed a perfect punch on his chin before Raf managed to grab my shoulders and drag me off of him. “Easy,” Raf cautioned, keeping a firm grip on my shoulders as I tried to get my breathing under control again. After a minute or so, the rush faded and exhaustion began to set in, and Mikey was staring into the tank while Donnie and Leo discussed what to do from here. “Mikey,” I sighed, stumbling over to rest a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that.” Mikey shook his head, frustrated. “No, you were right, I should’ve warned you guys before I did that. If you were warned…” I shook my head, social interactions weren’t my strong suit, especially when emotions came into play. “It was the fastest way to get down,” I shrugged, trying to cover my unease with indifference. “I probably would’ve freaked out even if you had warned me and if we had stayed on that pipe for too much longer, it may well have broken under our weight and then where would we be?” I looked down at my hands as Mikey thought it over, my claws were still extended, so I tucked them into my pockets. “You gonna be okay?” He inquired apprehensively. I thought it over for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” I assured him, a bit surprised at the truth of it. I grinned, “Or, at least, I will be once I dry off. I really was not planning on playing extreme urban water sports today.” Mikey slowly smiled back, still a bit unsure, but maybe this wouldn’t loom over him so much now that we’ve talked it out, sorta.

END OF PART 2

[team-skull-admin]

Since the wonderful and inimitable @ladyzolstice is currently ALSO complaining about Rogue One (which is quite possibly my least favorite blockbuster moviegoing experience since Maleficent) I’m going to jump on the dog pile. Spoilers and negativity below the cut, nerds!

Rogue One is my exhibit A for the easiest trap for modern storytelling to get into - conflating big watercooler moments and crazy deaths for depth. Game of Thrones at its worst is the main offender here, but at its best it earns these moments by building to them slowly and fleshing out its characters via political drama. In lieu of flesh and momentum, Rogue One has given its characters the thinnest of character development and tries to ride on poorly implemented modern war metaphor and fanservice. It fails at both. The movie opens with Mad Mikkelsen arguing about Mediocre Empire Dude who wants him to build the Death Star or something so baby Jyn runs to hide in a hole in the ground until she’s fetched by Forrest Whitaker, who’s apparently friends with Mads. CUE PRESENT where Diego Luna kills a guy so we know the Death Star exists and he’s willing to do whatever it takes and Jyn is now a young adult in a prison train for some reason. Diego and slightly less violent HK-47 bust her out. I’m not going to talk about the droid anymore because Groot did a better job of making you care about it and Vin Diesel literally only had one repeated line and was a fucking tree. Now they’re on desert planet and we enter the second act of the movie, where it’s entirely clear now that someone on the movie team really, really wanted to make a serious modern war metaphor for the first time. How do we know this? Well! Forrest Whitaker is now with an extremist branch of the rebels and is barely kept alive by machines for some reason. It’s not really implied why this happens or anything, I guess the machines are supposed to indicate he got fucked up or something. Diego is taking Jyn to go see Forrest because they caught Imperial Pilot Defector who has a message from Mads about the Death Star and the fact he hid a weakness in it. They go to Desert City for reasons I would have remembered in a better movie but don’t remember in this one and meet Donnie Yen and his bro/queerbait Mandalorian Bolt Thrower. Yen’s been upgraded from “flower vase” to “Jedi stand-in” and generally does a pretty solid job with the tripe he’s given, and Mandalorian Bolt Thrower is a cool straight cop for his craziness. They both deserve a better movie than this one. They’re the best characters and get no development, although it’s possible they’re the best characters because they get no development. Anyway, after a chance run-in where Yen notices Jyn’s force crystal (aside - this is where I’d nail them for casting him as MYSTICAL MARTIAL ARTS MENTOR, but A. it’s not really my fight and B. the idea of force sensitives kinda just floating about and not knowing what the fuck but randomly pulling off crazy shit makes sense for the time period in-universe) Whitaker’s Islamic extremist metaphor attack an occupying Imperial force because this is a serious war metaphor guys and it’s been too long since we had an action sequence and the movie’s starting to get boring (it doesn’t really stop btw). Like seriously, it’s a desert town, they’re wearing robes, they’re using improvised explosives and assault weapons, there’s the token dude with the rocket launcher that’s in every Middle Eastern conflict-era war movie ever made. You could swap the guns and take out the little alien dude and stick this exact scene in an Iraq war movie and everyone’s none the wiser. So this begs the question - does this metaphor/plot thread go anywhere? Nah, not really. Yen and Bolt Thrower save the heroes from the Imperials and Whitaker’s second-in-command takes them to jail cause they killed a few rebels while caught in the crossfire. Around this point Whitaker interrogates Defector with a fucking tentacle monster with mind powers? For some reason? And this plot thread is resolved like five minutes later when Luna talks to him in the next cell and he’s suddenly fine! Who the fuck knows why that scene’s in the movie. Anyway Jyn’s like, basically cribbing from Finn’s plotline in Episode 7 the whole time except her motivations are stated less effectively and she decides to stick around cause Dad or something. Forrest Whitaker dies when the Death Star fires at desert land but it’s only about as effective as a conventional nuclear weapon because plot. I don’t remember if it’s stated why the Empire blows up their source of force crystals for shooting shit with the Death Star but that seems like a plot hole appropriate for this movie.  Mediocre Imperial Man and I Don't Know His Rank at This Point but I Know Him as Grand Moff Tarkin So Let's Go With That have a conversation at this point and everyone gets weird uncanny valley feelings about Tarkin’s face. I thought it was okay, whatever. Anyway, Diego Luna has orders to kill Mads Mikkelsen for some reason even though a trained German Shepard knows it would make more sense to kidnap and torture him for info if he’s gone bad (I mean shit, there are fuckin magical mindreading tentacle monsters in canon!) so he’s awkwardly trying to sneak off to snipe Mads but OH SNAP MEDIOCRE IMPERIAL MAN IS HERE. Jyn runs off to find her dad and Yen/Bolt Thrower team up to provide fire support. Yen has a laser bow for some reason even though a gun has to be easier to aim but it looks cool so who cares. The creators have assumed you’ve gotten bored again so they shoehorned in another action scene around plot development where Mads dies because reasons. So Vader has a conversation around here and he chokes out Mediocre Imperial Man and has a punny quip about choking on your ambitions. A punny quip that’s fanservice to rehabilitate the image of an OG villian is the best part of this movie. Anyway, Diego and Jyn have an argument because character development needs to happen somehow. I guess. Idk. And they take their info about Mads back to the Rebel Base, who needs to know about the crazy thing the imperials are building now. They have an argument and like any good progressives decide to do nothing, so Jyn gives a speech and they remain good progressives and keep up the slacktivism. Diego indicates that he’s changed by rounding up a few dozen soldiers with a death wish who decide to do a poorly planned suicide mission on a major Imperial stronghold to get the Death Star plans. I assume it’s major, I mean I’d probably protect my main data center pretty heavily if I was a dictator. So they fly down to Vietnam and implement their plan - Diego and Jyn attack the data center while everyone else provides a distraction. This amounts to planting bombs everywhere and killing a few patrols to get everyone’s attention. Now, when they were planning this scene, I bet they had great expectations. We’re going to do sci-fi beach landing! This is our Saving Private Ryan! So I had to stifle a laugh when the first area of the main battle in this fucking movie is a Literal Fucking Third Person Shooter Combat Zone, complete with Completely Arbitrary Cargo Crates Conveniently Placed as Cover Points. It’s basically Virmire from Mass Effect, minus Geth. Were Geth on Virmire, I forget? Anyway, once the Rebellion figures out that a few dozen soldiers decides to commit suicide on  Vietnam Virmire this INSPIRES THEM TO ACT and they...send in a bunch of their fleet to assist in the suicide mission. After deciding it was a bad idea like, a few minutes before. Completely arbitrarily. Okay. Anyway, the Game of Thrones bloodbath begins here. The Imperials close the warp gate off the planet and Pilot Defector dies plugging in a radio to let the Rebels know. Donnie Yen and Mandalorian Bolt Thrower both die after arbitrarily moving from Third Person Shooter land to a beach for reasons unexplained. Diego Luna dies TWICE: first in an Assassin’s Creed climbing sequence in the world’s most unwieldy storage room (why the fuck don’t the Imperials have like, servers?) and saves Jyn when Mediocre Imperial Man jumps her on top of the tower that holds The Inexplicable Library of Hard Drives. HK-47 dies as any good HK droid should, by killing a bunch of motherfuckers. Jyn trusts him with a pistol before this happens and in a better movie this would be touching but I never really felt like he was a threat to anybody so I didn’t care. Anyway, Jyn watches an arbitrary countdown happen and Admiral Ackbar senior gets the Death Star plans on his corvette (which fucks up two Star Destroyers by ramming into them, I admit that’s pretty cool) and the Death Star shows up to cut their losses because somehow this dumbass attack that was planned in five minutes was successful and Diego and Jyn die in a nuclear bomb’s glow, hugging. That’s actually a decent ending! Roll credits. Except nah, we totally had to arbitrarily see Vader be a horror villain and fuck shit up for thirty seconds before seeing CG Princess Leia (RIP) so Star Wars nerds get to go HA! THEY RETCONNED SHIT! and normal people don’t care. That should have been a credits stinger. Like, grow a pair and just gun for the coolest credits stinger of all time. The movie is better for it. This quickly devolved into Summary Word Vomit but Rogue One is a bad movie because it’s all bad plot and poorly executed war metaphor over character development. Episode 7 primarily worked because they did the exact opposite. We explicitly know Finn’s reasons for doing what he does, Poe’s, Rey’s. Their actions make sense, and as such their development is earned. Even Kylo Ren stares creepily at a fucked up Vader helmet for thirty seconds. I’m not saying a s serious Star Wars movie can’t work, but if you’re going to attempt it, the characters needed to interact to make the events actually matter. People like Donnie Yen and Diego Luna and Jyn because, in spite of the dour material, they’re good enough actors to get some charm to slip through. In the end, Rogue One is a movie that tells its story via a checklist rather than organically. They wanted X seriousness and Y war metaphor and Z watercooler depths, but forgot that these things work because they’re earned via character development, not in spite of it. I fucking hate this movie.

[cantstopthesignal2005]

Back Into It

           Roman Morrison lied awake on his twin bed, the unforgiving autumn wind blasting through the window, leaving a thin glaze of frost in its wake. He wrapped his comforter around himself like a shawl, though it did little to protect him from the cold, and rose from the bed with a shuddering start, shuffling to the thermostat to crank up the digits. Grabbing a towel from the top of his dresser drawer and some warm clothes, he ran the water in his shower, the steam rising to create a fog. He stayed in the shower a little longer than necessary for the warmth it provided.       Stepping out, he dried himself and rubbed the towel against the thin veneer of moisture on the mirror and was embarrassed by the patchy beard which had grown from neglect. Applying a few dabs of shaving cream, Roman ran the safety razor through the unkempt thickets of facial hair he let accumulate, his smooth brown skin able to finally breathe.  Feeling accomplished, he dragged the towel along the mirror again, to fully appreciate his newly fresh appearance. The proud smile on Roman’s face was soon broken, as he confronted the laughter lines creasing his cheeks and bags beneath his eyes; flaws in an otherwise, he could admit, decent looking face.     It wasn’t the tides of old age ravaging his body that so perturbed Roman. It was the uncanny ways in which he began to resemble his father. He’d always had his eyes, but now his cheeks were sinking the same way as the old man’s. Roman had contempt for his father Julius who, despite his love of the poison (tequila being a favorite,) was neither a very cruel nor gregarious man. Roman considered his father’s life and legacy and realized the worst thing one could say about him was that he was absent. Absent in the upkeep of his house, absent in the lives of his children, and absent even in the company of others. Worse still was Julius’s lack of fight regarding his own life, simply allowing things to happen to him, being taken advantage of, never actively involved with the world around him. As a result of their father’s milquetoast personality, Roman and his sister Jenny led a hand-to-mouth existence until they were old enough to get jobs. He tried his damnedest to replicate none of his father’s appalling behaviors, remaining sober, working, being a somewhat bristling character.  It occurred to Roman that his spartan existence—owning little more than clothes, groceries, and furniture—could be traced back to the scarcity and impermanence he suffered in his transient youth. Consequently, he had little need or tolerance for frivolity and tchotchkes. Roman, holding a disgust for Julius in the pit of his stomach, was bringing his father back. And now, he would have to confront him whenever he looked in the mirror.    Following a protracted study of his features, Roman walked to the living room wearing only his towel. Seized by nerves, he stared ahead vacantly.  Not much had been done much to improve upon his standards of living, never accepting invitations to socialize, never looking to spend more than necessary. A beer or a joint wouldn’t allow any comfort that he couldn’t gather from a good night’s sleep. The wallowing had to stop, he realized, if he was to make the six-a.m. bus; hastily dressing for work, he ran down the stairs and just barely made it, smiling with a racing heart.  Roman, following the unwritten rules of public transit, knew to avoid eye contact with fellow passengers. He would reflexively stare out of the window or stare at his restless feet to deliberately avoid offense.    Roman worked at a local deli as a prep cook. Cutting, curing, roasting, five days a week.  He liked the job, as it afforded him space. He worked alone in the back and therefore wasn’t occupied with any workplace drama or politics. He swiped his employee ID card on the punch-in monitor, grabbing the checklist for the day, scavenging the cooler shelves for the items. Wesley, the first cook, walked into the prep kitchen with a shit-eating grin.  “Hey, Roman!”    “Hey, man,” he modestly replied.    “Doing alright?”    “Can’t complain.”    “Love to hear it. So, you know it’s slow lately, so I think today’s a fucking cakewalk. Donnie’s gonna join you today.”   “Donnie?”   “New kid. You’ll show him around, let him know what’s up, ride his ass if need be.”   “I think he’ll play the game, it’s not a hard job.”   “Just keep saying that shit I love hearing. Be easy, brother.” Roman went through the grunt work, mindlessly chopping, flaying, and marinating the food he had to prep. Donnie, late by forty-five minutes, came in through the door with a forced huff of breath, feigning exhaustion. Roman came to see that no one respected their In or Out times, though he was often expected to extend. After going over the expectations of the job, Roman took his break and ate a chicken salad sandwich in the dining room on a two-person booth. He answered his sister’s essay length texts regarding her struggles with imposter syndrome. Jenny had just been accepted into her first choice for university, she expected a sense of pride and community. But now, she found it to be worse than waiting for it. She saw that it was a rat race, one where she could barely keep pace with her peers. Her sleeping schedule was shambolic, confidence plummeting as the days dragged. Roman consoled his baby sister, being empathetic with her struggles to maintain a sense of worth.  Their identities having been cradled by a catatonic father and a wrathful mother, a sense of self-regard or esteem did not come naturally. Bombing Jenny with several messages reassuring her of her merit was an exercise in futility, Jenny replying only with more uncertainty and dread.       Sam, a bespectacled, cashier with long strawberry hair and freckles, sat next to him. She was a sweet girl, just out of high school. She would join Roman for lunch breaks when it was slow. Sam came to depend on his quiet, reserved tendencies for some peace and quiet.  Conversations between the two, while never significant, grew to be even more sparse of late. Gathering the braves, Roman mumbled, “How’s it going?”  She was somewhat startled, her attention snatched from her notepad.      “Oh, uh. Yeah. I’m good. I’m good. I mean, no, no I’m not. I’ve got to extend because Josh got fired.”    “Josh is that pale, white kid?”    “Yep. Smoked himself incompetent.”    “That’s pretty wild.”        “Yeah. How’s training that new fuckhead going?”    “He’s doing his job.”    “Yeah?”    “Mmhmm. How’s art school going?”    “Not bad. It’s stressful, but it’s worth it.” Roman nodded, and Sam pursed her lips in kind.  The connection petered out but despite the brevity of their interaction, Roman felt a swell of pride in his chest for having circumvented his laconic, withdrawn tendencies. He returned to work with a grin, going through the remainder of his tasks before checking out with Katie, the current manager on staff. Katie had cherubic cheeks and eyes like tundra ice, which went well with the jet-black hair she clearly achieved with a dye kit. Katie and Roman got along fine; much like any other relationship in Roman’s life, theirs could be described as “cordial.” Katie, while never abrasive with any of her crew members, was particularly ebullient towards Roman. He always appreciated the kind, inviting disposition she maintained.   “Hey, Katie,” he muttered.   “Roman! What can I do for you, my man?”   “Just need to get checked out, is all.”   “Any snags with stock?”   “No, everything’s solid.”   “Hmm. I’m gonna say you’re good, I trust you.”   “You sure?”   “Should I not be?”   “Well, I didn’t mean it like that.”   “Then I trust you, I’m sure, you’re good, and you can trust that I’m sure you’re good.”   “Thanks, Katie. Take it easy.”   “You too, Mr. Roman. Catch you on the flip side.”   Roman clocked out and braced himself for the gusts of wind whipping through the air outside. He made it to the brass bus stop, where he would sit and wait on the unreliable bus drivers, usually arriving well past their set arrival times. He contemplated the options for spending his evening. He could rent a film. He could power through a few television series.  He felt a bile rise in his throat considering those thoughts, and his reflexive pivot towards them. How would that be any different than the past five years of his life? How had he fallen in such a deep, sickeningly clockwork routine? He could predict interactions down to the parting sentiments. He was going through the motions and living his life like he was painting by numbers.  Every fucking night, he would turn on that television, recline, maybe eat some high-sodium takeout and die for six hours, closing the blinds and shutting it all out. All this comfort for what? The pursuit of an unmarked grave? For him to die as he had lived: unremarkable and anonymous?   “Hey, you okay?” a familiar voice asked. Looking up, he saw that it was Reenie, one of the bussers. She was the only other worker in his age bracket, getting off the 405, likely making her routine off-day visit to work friends.    “Yeah, just, long day. Thanks, sweetheart.”    “You need some water, amigo?”    “No, no, I’m . . .I’m alright. Thanks.”    “Yeah? That’s good, dude. Who’s working today? Do you know?”    “Katie and Kenneth are heading the shift. Sam, Jeremy, Nat are all on cash.”    “Nice.”    His heart palpitated, his breathing still irregular, as he was able to ask, “Hey, did you want to hang at all this week?”    “You know, I’d uh, I’d love to. But, uh, I’m fucking super slammed with work and all.”    “Oh, no, that’s, yeah, no I get it.”    “Wait, are you going to Allison’s coffee shop tonight?”    “Allison? Oh, wow, she got the shop?”    “Yeah, she and Darius got the loan, infrastructure all that junk. Opened up the coffee shop like a month ago.”    “Good for her.”   “Yeah, she’s doing an open mic tonight, Xander’s gonna spit some bars. You should come.”    “Yeah? Yeah, for sure that’ll be great.”    “Great. Let me get your number so you know the addy.”    The two exchanged phone numbers and parted ways. He boarded the bus and was rejuvenated, smiling as he occupied his spot on the back of the bus. Roman had life surging through his veins, a stark contrast to the opposing passengers who were dead on their feet. The maids, getting off their double shifts, were eating their dinner from a brown bag which was lousy with patches of grease spots. This was not for him, this life. He would be devoted to thrusting himself out there, taking chances, experiencing things, loving people, getting his heart broken, making awful mistakes. He wouldn’t be reduced to this cold, empty life of routine.   He returned home and began his process of fretting over what to wear. This anxiety was not unfamiliar, though it hadn’t been present in his life for some years now. He hadn’t needed to contend with another person’s expectations, let alone those of an entire group. This anxiety he learned to appreciate. It meant only that he had something to lose or gain. It meant that he was participating. Breaking him from this rumination was a phone call from Jenny. Answering the phone, he heard only sniffles and shallow breathing.   “Hey, Roe,” she began, congested. “Can you talk?”   “Of course, Jen,” he demurred, gentling his voice to soothe his baby sister.   “Yeah, no, it’s just all kind of fucked. Just, shit’s bad, dude. These roommates I’m with, they’re just, they’re getting so much done. They’re getting double majors, they’re all in constant communication with their professors, they have mentors. And they’re just so fucking nice. And I feel like I’ve just been this total bitch. And they’re just so sweet, you know? I feel like I’m so mean. I’m so sorry if I was ever mean to you when we were kids, Roe.  You know I love you, right?”   “Of course, I do.”   “Good. Good. I just, you know, I see how far they’re getting, their drive, the way they already have a fucking lane . . .” Roman’s phone began chirping. Checking the messages, he’d seen that Reenie had messaged him the address, informing him of the expected meet-up time. He agonized over the undue burdens he accepted.  He would be the rock for the limited amount of people in his social orbit, the shoulder to lean on, the wall at which they could throw their primal screams and neuroses. Was this going to be his life? Eating everyone’s sins, their trauma and panic gnawing at him, until he was a bloated carcass with poison for blood? No, he thought. He could be there for them, but it wasn’t going to consume him. Julius and Katherine might be his parents, but he didn’t need to be their son. It wasn’t necessary for  him to die for the sins of his parents.  “. . . and I feel like I don’t have any of that. And I’m thinking, maybe this isn’t the right choice for me. Like, maybe I don’t have it in me . . .”   “Jen, we’ve been over this. You’re gonna be fine. You are fine.”   “How do you know? How are you this certain?”   “I think you’re looking for reasons to worry because there aren’t really any.”   “Ugh, I fucking . . . ugh . . . you’re right. You’re right.”   “Look, I’ll check in on you tomorrow, but I’ve got plans, I gotta get going.”   “Oh my god, of course. Of course, oh, god, yeah, thanks for talking. I love you!”   “I love you, too, Jen. Take it easy.”   Roman became sick with anticipation as he took the subway to the upper crust, hipster area of Wisteria.  He periodically looked at the address on his phone, making sure the route he was taking was the proper one. He deserved to be happy, didn’t he? To share his life with others. These years of self-loathing and melancholia, to what purpose? Was this worth his identity and security? No, he wouldn’t waste any more years prostrating and self-flagellating at the altar, hoping for forgiveness from some imagined saint, absolving him of the transgressions of his youth. Roman reached the store, which had a small spearmint colored awning above it.  In gold, bright, loud letters, it yelled: Aunt Allison’s Coffee and Books. The fear began to hold him, but he had the choice to confront it or to remain its limp, quivering victim.       He swung open the glass door and walked softly inside, methodically observing the worn, wrinkled spines of books. Books made by fearsome, angry, vitriolic, eccentric people who wrestled with life, wearing fresh bruises, ensuring the world heard their voices as they roared. He walked over to a corkboard which was, he surmised, the bulletin board. It was dressed with overlapping flyers: business opportunities, local shows, rooms for rent. Flyers made by young, hungry people who lunged after what they wanted, never stopping until they achieved their goals, subsisting on ambition and instant noodles. The store he was admiring came about because Lizzie wanted it, worked at it, clawed out her eyes at three in the morning over it.  He smiled as he heard the rapturous conversations held by passionate people, who would wax poetic with bloody throats and bulging eyes.     Allison, without the messy bun and baggy eyes for which she was known at the deli, approached Roman with a warm, inviting smile. “Reenie said you were coming, and I called bullshit.”   “Hey, Lizzie.”   “You’re hanging out with the cool kids, now?”   “Yeah, I’m the chaperone.”   “Hmmm. Everyone’s over there,” she said, motioning to a ramshackle assortment of mismatched chairs centered around a coffee table, which collected several magazines, saucers, and cups.   “Yeah. Hey, congrats.”   “Thanks.”   “The name of the store is interesting.”   “Oh, god, do you love it?”   “Hmm,” he nodded. “Very familial.”   “Ha! Yeah, that’s true. Hey, I gotta check up on my crew, but have fun with the party over there.”   “Yeah, good night.”   “Good night. It’s nice seeing you.”   Roman took a few steps, hesitating, trembling. The group had him in their crosshairs and whipped their heads almost in harmony. “Hey!” Reenie exclaimed.  “I told ‘em you’d make it!”   “Hey, guys,” Roman nervously stammered.   “Hey, so, Roman, you’re a movie guy, right?” Emmanuel, from deliveries asked. “Okay, so there’s this documentary my little brother was showing me like a couple months ago. It’s like, these girls in New York, and they like, follow them from junior year of high school all the way to college, right? And we can’t remember the fucking name.”   “We’ve been telling him he dreamed that shit up,” Greta the cashier quipped.   “Hmm,” Roman mumbled. “I don’t know it.”    “Oh, man, if I find it out, I’ll let you know. It’s fucking wild, they’re like, drifting apart, doing drugs, or freaking out, going to parties, one of thems moms is like, mad unstable. It’s crazy. It’s so sad, but like, real. You know?” And Roman did know. Pain, love, estrangement, anger, sadness, joy. That’s what a life is. And he was ready to embrace it.  

[mama-ghostie-61542]

The Hamato Chronicles  Ch. 3

Rated M for Mature--Contains disturbing images, racial slurs, and images of war. PTSD trigger WARNING

If ya recognize it, it ain't mine. 

Ch 3

Leo POV

After lunch, which was Marlowe’s mac and cheese, we decided to watch a movie. As per normal, Mikey wanted a horror flick, Raph wanted action, and Donnie wanted a documentary. But, we all agreed to let Lowe pick.

She held up The Princess Bride and started laughing so hard she was almost crying. Our brothers smiled and put the movie in.

Marlowe, propped herself on the back of the couch and said to Dad, “Hey Pop. ‘What about the ROUS’?”

Father smiled and leaned against the door frame. “’Rodents of unusual size?’ Hmm,” he said as he played with his tail, twirling it like a chain. “’I don’t think they exist.’”

After the previews, we heard Sensai yell, “’Everybody move!’”

We scrambled to get out of the way. Dad vaulted over the back of the couch and landed next to Marlowe, who hadn’t moved an inch. He settled in to watch the movie with a smile. We all watched as they would laugh about things like they were inside jokes.

Supper was pizza. We had a ball. The banter between all six of us was music to my ears. It was like an important instrument was missing from our little symphony.  One by one, we went off to bed. At 3 am, when I got up to go pee, Marlowe was just laying down.

Don’s POV

I was woken up by a muffled scream at 4am. I met Father at the door to the lab. He seemed just as shaken as I was. The scream was most definitely female, so we knew it could only be Marlowe. The two of us ran into her room to see her thrashing on her bed and shrieking ‘NO’ and ‘Joey’. Occasionally, Marlowe would gag and we’d have to roll her to her side.

“Marlowe, you need to wake up,” my father whispered in his panic as he was petting her face.

I was whispering to her the entire time, “Come on, Sissy, wake up.” But it seemed to go on for hours. It was only maybe a minute but it sure felt like more. When her eyes finally fluttered open, she looked like she was going to hurl, so I grabbed her trash can and thrust it under her face. I was just in time. When she was finally finished, she slumped back on her pillows and sobbed. It kills me to see my strong big sister hurting like this.

Marlowe’s POV

I had gone to bed that night, after having a late night brawl with my survivor’s guilt and almost a whole pot of coffee. Suddenly, I was in the middle of another nightmare.

My world was a little fuzzy. I remember this place. This is where we were when our Gunny said to shoot those kids. Suddenly, I felt myself being thrown around and then Joey was in my lap asking me to watch over his little sister. There was so much blood. I tried to hold it all in. I knew what was coming next. Joey bled to death while we waited for the medics. I can still hear the blast coming. I can still feel the heat of the truck as he was blown next to me. I can still feel the hot of his blood on me, can still smell it. Even after the last 6 months it still makes me gag.    

I woke up to Donnie holding up a trashcan for me, which I promptly heaved into. Pop was next to me, gently rubbing my back. After empting my stomach of the last two days of its contents, I started sobbing.  

My father whispered, “Marlowe, what happened out there?”

“Dad, I only want to tell this story once,” I somehow managed to croak out, “so you had better get everyone up and here.”

Without us knowing it, Leo had gotten up and was standing outside the door. He went to get our other two brothers up while Don called April and Casey. In a half hour, April and Casey walked into the lair.

Donnie handed me a bottle of water.

“Thanks, Double D,” I said hoarsely.

Raph wrapped the couch blanket around my shoulders a few minutes later. “Are you sure you don’t need this, Squeaks? It’s kinda cold.”

He smiled and said softly, “And I’m not tha one shakin’, Marlowe Jean.”

I looked up to see Mikey squirming on the rug. “Angel, go.”

“But I need to be here for you, Lowe.”

“Just go!”

Mikey grumbled as he got up and stalked off in the direction of the bathroom, leaving Marlowe shaking her head.  She looked up at April and Casey, “You guys have siblings?”

April said, “No,” while Casey just shook his head.

“I’m going to tell you two the unspoken sibling code,” Marlowe said as she started to tick them off one by one on her fingers. “One, I may love you to bits and pieces, but I am not required to like you. Two, I can beat you up whenever I want, but if someone so much as looks at you in a fashion I don’t approve of, I will kill them. Three, I reserve the right to despise whoever you settle with as no one will ever be good enough. And four, I also reserve the right to spoil any and all of your progeny to the point of rottenness and far beyond, stopping just short of sociopath.”

April and Casey sat stock still, for nearly a whole minute. Then Marlowe smiled and they started laughing.  

After hearing Marlowe call the boys by their childhood nicknames a few times, Casey had to ask where they came from, “So about these nick names?”  

Marlowe laughed, “I couldn’t say names or features when I was in BASIC or OJT. Uncle Sam likes to read the recruits letters from home and listen in on their phone calls. So, Uncle Pete and I worked out a system where we would use something from when the boys were little as a code name for each of them. When Leo was little, he was really accident prone and had an awesome speech impediment. He couldn’t say ‘Fell’ so it was kabong or kaboom. I started calling him El KaBong in my letters home. Raph was two when he finally started talking.”

Casey grinned, “And now he never shuts-up.”

“Watch it, Jones. He’s is still my little brother and I am still a Marine,” I replied, hotly, as I leveled a glare at the hockey mask wearing vigilante. “Anyway, he’d get so upset he would scream at the top of his lungs for quite a while if you didn’t immediately understand what he was meaning. He would get this squeaky, hoarse voice after throwing those fits. So, when I had to think of a code word for Raph, Squeaks came to mind. Sometimes, if he is exhausted or really sick, I can get away with ‘Squeaker’, but I don’t push it. Donnie had a huge independent streak when he was two. Every time we’d ask if he needed help his answer was always, “NO! Don-Don do!” In my letters home I shortened it to DD or Double D. Mikey has always been Angel. Guess that’s just the big sister thing. I mean, they are all my angels, but he’s always been my Angel.”      

Everyone gathered on the couches in the living room, waiting for me to tell them what happened in Afghanistan. Raph sat one side of me, his arm around my shoulders in an attempt to calm the tremors that still wracked my body, while Don was on the other, holding my hand, secretly keeping an eye on my pulse.

My father sat down across from me, “What happened in Afghanistan, Marlowe.”

“I was out with my squad and my SSgt’s Gunny; a guy by the name of Johnson. He was a bastard; called me a ‘prairie squaw’ to my face quite a few times. Anyway, we were doing a patrol in this tiny little town, the kind where one well serves 6 or 8 houses. There were some kids outside, playing with water guns. I remember this one was mutagen green and neon blue. It was obvious they were just playing in the water when they would stop and fill their soakers back up. This Gunny ordered us to ‘Shoot those damned kids’. All four of us were floored. Caitie looked at him and asked, ‘Whaa’. She wasn’t sure she heard him right. Then he yelled, ‘I order you to shoot those damned towelheads in training. Nits make lice. Bet you’d know all about that wouldn’t you, Hamato’. I about lost it. I looked at him and said, ‘Sir, with all due respect, I respectfully decline to follow that order.” He started screaming at me; called me everything but an American Marine. Then he sent me back behind the lines. I was put on temporary restriction for two days and the paperwork for my discharge was started over my wording. There was a guy working supply for quartermaster company, Joey Loveland, who gave me a ride to regional. We were a few miles away from our destination when he yelled ‘Shit’ and threw me out of the cab of that deuce and a half. He was right behind me. He landed right next to me. I can still feel the heat of the blast; can still taste the sand and dust it kicked up. But most of all, I can still feel Joey’s blood on my hands and hear his screaming,” I paused and took a breath as tears ran down my face. “I can still hear him asking me to watch over his little sister.”

“I sat there, trying to keep him alive while screaming through the satellite phone for a medic when he said to stop. He said he knew he wasn’t going to make it, just asked me to take care of Brynnie for him. He died in my arms. Medics finally got there 10 minutes later, but by then I was in shock. I was sedated for three days because I kept trying to scrub his blood off when it was already gone. When I finally came out of it, my Staff Sargent was there and he told me that JAG wanted to talk to me. Turns out, my girls complained. There was no way to stop my discharge but that Gunny got in some big trouble. Come to find out, I had been put in for Staff Sargent half a dozen times when there was a slot and I had the points, but that Gunny kept turning it down. He kept saying that I wasn’t ready for the responsibility. Mind, I had been a Sargent for years, had all my points, was never flagged, and had never failed a PT test. It all boiled down to my gender and skin color.

When I got back to San Diego, I was in pretty bad shape. I couldn’t eat or sleep; I got put into inpatient observation at a VA Hospital there. A week later, I was transferred to a VA hospital in Pierre, South Dakota. Saw at least three Docs there. No one bothered to look at my address on record. It took me almost four months to get them to transfer me to a caseworker in the Bronx. After that fight, I had another month before I could see a Doc about my anxiety; that was more pills. I was lucky that Caitie got out right after me; she let me bunk with her until I found you guys again.

That was a complete stroke of luck. I was headed down into the tunnels on Humboldt and Sherman when I ran into O’Neil. I recognized her from the photos you guys emailed me. She asked how long I’d been home for. Told her I’d been looking for you guys for the better part of a month. She told me she would have you guys come here for a few nights the next week. Then she gave me the number to Pop’s cell. First thing I did when I got back to Cait’s was to lock myself in the bathroom and call dad.”  

A/N-- Exact same version on ffn.