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#and like i do have people in my life who are accepting of that stuff about me
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lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3
i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:
Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.
Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey
My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time
The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.
One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain
I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬
I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho
That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration
my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!
new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘
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beforetimes · 2 days
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telepathy kink is always talked about but i loveee the way erik's relationship with charles' mutation is dependant on how much he trusts charles + how willing he would be to submit to charles should he ever use it. like in first class charles spends time flicking in and out of erik's head no issue because erik trusts charles and also when charles was in erik's head, he brought out a piece of happiness that erik no longer thought he had. so he's more willing to submit to charles' telepathy. and he puts the helmet on because he's more vulnerable directly after killing the man who was such a direct source of violence in his life and realizing that it wasn't enough—which probably shook erik to his core, because his whole life he's been hunting this one guy just to find that it's not over yet?
and then in days of future past, erik once again goes back to saying 'i don't have my helmet i couldn't disobey you if i wanted' which some people read as a taunt, some people read as him not accepting charles' mutation (which like? i don't think erik has ever not accepted him, but whatever) but i personally read it as erik once more trying to find his footing with charles after a decade apart.
anyway now that i talked about canon stuff i think specifically in the context of a sexual relationship, the telepathy stuff would be a way for erik to give up control over the situation and put his full trust in charles. which is important because a) erik is someone who thrives on being in control and finds it very important because so much of his agency was robbed of him and choosing to submit to a higher power than his own is something that insinuates a great deal of trust in the other party and b) charles is the only one who he could do this with because charles proved that he had the capacity to invade erik's mind and know him wholly and didn't take advantage of that and has shown time and time again he will help erik no matter what.
its also the fact that erik repeatedly implies that charles' telepathy will be used to control him when its a much more surface-level/baseline understanding that telepathy is the reading of minds rather than outright taking control of them. it's even in the definition of telepathy. but knowing charles can take control of him and constantly inviting him to (in an assumed sexual context, in this case) highlights how erik sort of longs to have responsibility for his actions taken away from him. which again can only be done by charles. not just because of his powers but because so many of his actions have directly hurt charles and he's the only one who can both metaphorically and physically relieve him of the culpability behind the consequences of what he's done when in complete control of himself. so again erik is someone who wants to relieve himself of his overly-controlling nature, his responsibilities, be completely vulnerable to someone who's seen him at his worst and loved him anyway.
and the only way erik can be all these things at once is by being under charles' control. (under the control of someone stronger than erik who has proven he will never hurt him with the power charles can exert over him).
so like sexually yes it's fun to say haha erik telepathy kink but also i think it is something much more tender which encapsulates the fact that erik is only this vulnerable with someone he has so much trust in and that person can only ever be charles because its only around charles he can truly be wholly himself. and so submissive erik is real to me #tbh
hope this makes sense i am kind of just rambling
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never2tired4u · 2 days
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Hey!! I hope you're doing well! I just read your post about the dateables reacting to MC back in human form, and I really loved it! Your writing was great and I loved how their personalities were on point!! I saw your asks were open and wanted to ask if you'd like to write a bit of a domestic fluff with the dateables reacting to MC cooking/teaching them how to cook human food! (especially Solomon bc he's the worst at it lol) Thank you and please write more in the future, you're amazing 💗
— 🦇
Note: Thank you so much 🦇 anon! Also I love this idea, unfortunately i actually didn't know what to do with it :( but tried my best and sorry for not replying soon. Been busy with life in general… Came back to NB yesterday only to get a message from Luke saying he was being chased by Devildom tomatoes lol
You are amazing too and I will try to write more in the future <3
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OBEY ME! Dateables x Reader
Characters: 《°•[ Solomon , Simeon , Diavolo , Barbatos...]•°》
Summary: 《°•[ Cooking with them!]•°》
Warnings: 《°•[ Fluff, Solomon wanting to cook.]•°》
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With Solomon, cooking isn’t easy. He is a free spirit, curious, and itching to try different combinations with a smile on his face, be it potions or spells, or cooking. Thankfully, he is powerful enough to fix those failed experiments and let it be a learning experience for him, except when he is tasked (himself) to cook. He tries, fails, and just accepts it as perfection, never learning his lesson, never improving. You don’t have the heart to tell him to not join you in the kitchen since he seems to genuinely love cooking for people, however, sometimes he really tests your patience.
Like right now, as he tries, once again, to add some sort of weird ingredient to the pot. Something that DEFINITELY doesn't belong in a human dish…Or any realm's dish for that matter.
“Oh, you caught me.”
“Put that down.” you warned him with a stern voice, Solomon just smiled while slowly lowering the thing, “Not in the pot!” you yelled, barely managing to stop him before he added his ‘touch’ to the meal, “Solomon, what did we talk about?”
Solomon frowned, “I know, it just…” sighing as he glanced at the book, reading the instructions again, “The recipe seems so boring.”
“It’s a soup recipe.”
He dramatically sighed again and stepped back, putting the “ingredient” he was going to add back into his pocket, making you wonder what it even was. Your thoughts were quickly interrupted by him wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and resting his cheek on your shoulder, “Sorry, I promise I won't try to add any DemonFlower Eyeball into it.”
“Just don't add anything!”
“Okay okay,” he laughs, ��Only human stuff, got it.”
A smile formed on your lips after hearing his voice next to your ear, a gentle and calm tone. Ready to do anything you requested from him. For now.
After all, even though Solomon is a free spirit, his love for you makes him come back down to earth. If it is you who tells him to follow the recipe, then he will. And surprisingly enough, he isn’t a bad cook once he stops his ways of…adding things.
He fetches you some ingredients then stands next to you, waiting for your instructions (since you sadly don't trust him much to do anything on his own). You finished rather quickly and ready the bowls. Both of you sit on the table and Solomon takes his first sip, “And here I thought I was the teacher in our relationship. It seems I have a lot to learn from you too.” he says as a genuine smile graces his lips.
“Hm? Why do you say that?”
“This tastes delicious.”
“It's a simple dish.” you say, a little confused by his low tone, and the far away look in his eyes.
“It's been forever since I've eaten any human world food,” his smile never leaves his face, “It may be a simple dish but that is what makes it so special. Thank you for the food.”
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Simeon is someone who enjoys cooking, not as much as Luke perhaps, but he is still okay at it. For him, trying new recipes every now and then, helping Luke around is something of a routine at this point. Cooking in general has always been a job he needed to do, until his view changed quickly when you decided to enter the kitchen with him. The angel then quickly realized that cooking can also be fun and engaging too.
If you are around that is.
Tonight, you had a craving for some human world food. Luke asked to try some too so you decided to get to work and Simeon offered to help.
“So, where do we start?-” he is suddenly stopped by your arms wrapping around him and completely stops moving for a moment, however he gently hugs you back.
“Simeon?” you ask in confusion, “What are you doing?”
Simeon slightly pulls back, only to realize you were just tying the apron around him, “Oh.” he smiles gently, while mentally hitting himself on the head and pulls back, “I thought you wanted a hug.”
“Maybe later, now let's get to work!”
Simeon is out of his usual attire and wearing something more comfortable instead, with an apron tied to his waist thanks to you.
He listens to what you want to make and what he can do. (Un)fortunately he usually finishes his work pretty fast and then tries to take over yours to help which you refuse. Giving him another, much more simple task and while he does that Simeon often starts to ramble.
“...Would it be rude of me to say that I like how human ingredients are so normal?”
“Compared to what?”
“Anything from Devildom really...” Simeon can't help but look guilty, it feels like he is insulting the whole Devildom himself, a place most of his friends consider a home, but he can't help it, “At least these don't try to attack us.”
“Oh, that's true,” you almost let out a chuckle at how nervous Simeon seems as he chops tomatoes, probably imagining them starting a fight, “What about Celestia?”
“Celestia? Well, hm…” his hands pause for a moment as he gets lost in thought, “They are…Okay? Though, some of them are…Too much.”
You aren't really sure what Simeon means by ‘Too much.’ but decide not to ask about it as he seems annoyed. A memory of an energetic cucumber crossed his mind, perhaps?
“I'm glad you like our normal and boring tomatoes then.”
Simeon laughs nervously, “Yeah, I like it, especially since they don't grow legs and run around.” he turns to you with a smile, “So, we can just focus on making the food and enjoy talking like this.”
Even after the food was finished and the three of you sat down to enjoy the food Simeon can't help but ask you to teach him more human world recipes, “Luke enjoyed it.” he says. Hoping you don't notice how he just wants to spend time with you.
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“You want me to make a human world dish?”
“No.” you shake your head, “We are going to make it together, Barbatos.”
Barbatos smiles, when people come to him they always have requests. For example, Beelzebub. The young devil always says he wants to eat his cooking, or use the big kitchen at the palace for a new dish. No one ever came to him and asked to cook together since it was usually his job alone to do, he is a butler after all.
“Alright. However, I don't know the dish you want to make, so…” he can't help but chuckle a little as he bows his head, “Please treat me kindly.”
His words are a complete lie though, Barbatos may not know how the recipe goes but he can tell what needs to be added. He is a great cook, and so graceful while he does the work. He is pretty quick too so the food is almost done already.
“Hmm…” after taking a small sip from the pot you can't help but think that something is missing, it tastes good but it could be better you think, so you turn to your helper, as he likes to call himself, “Barbatos, what do you think of this?”
He casually takes the spoon you hold for him and hums, “It's great, but how about adding some bay leaf?”
“...Bay leaf? We have that?”
“I do, I sometimes use it.” he walks up to a random cabinet and pulls out a jar, “It goes well in foods that need to be cooked for a long period of time. You just need to take it out after it's done.”
“Huh. So, you use human world ingredients in your cooking?”
“Only when you are around,” you watch as Barbatos adds two leaves into the pot, “It's amusing to see your reaction when you eat what I cook for you.”
“That's why they taste so familiar!?”
Barbatos innocently smiles at you, “Don't forget to stir, dear. Or would you like me to take over?”
“Barbatos, don't tell me you actually have been making me human food that looks like Devildom food.”
“I thought the familiar taste would make you happy.”
“...That's kind. Thank you.” you smile, but then squint your eyes at him, “You sure there's nothing else…?”
Barbatos doesn't say anything as he starts cleaning around the kitchen, picking up the things you've used and no longer need.
Of course there's another reason why he secretly cooks human dishes for you. It's so you can visit him, compliment him and ask for him. It's a selfish reason. However, for someone like him it's not surprising. He is a demon, and when it comes to your time and attention, he selfishly wants it all.
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You are asking the prince, the future ruler of Devildom to cook with you, a human dish? And he agrees with a laugh? If anyone heard this, they would be thinking the Devildom is coming to an end. His butler however, can't help but think Diavolo agreed without hesitation only because it's you and only because it's a way to escape from his duties. Considering the prince has never touched an utensil in his life, it is weird to see that he seems so confident.
His confidence, however, quickly shaders as he accidentally pushes on the tomato too much while trying to chop it and makes a mess. Covering your aprons and walls with tomato seeds and juices.
He turns to you and smiles, “Have I ever told you that you look good in red?”
You scoff but can't help as a smile grows on your face, “Yes, usually when I'm in a red outfit, not when in a red mess.”
“Small details.” he laughs, but a sigh leaves him as he looks down at the chopping board, “I didn't think they would be so soft and delicate.”
“Don't blame the tomatoes.” when he turns his sad eyes towards you, you wave your hands around quickly, a feeling of guilt settling in, “Don't blame yourself either, accidents happen in kitchens! We can still use it.”
“That's great! Then I'll continue with the cutting,” he says, smiling again, “I'll be more careful from now onl.”
Diavolo may not have a lot of experience in the kitchen, no matter which realm the food is from, but he still finds his own failures fun. Laughing when he accidentally drops the salt shaker in the pan or when he almost burns himself. As a prince he never had mishaps in the kitchen before.
It's new, it's entertaining.
“Thank you for helping me.” you can't help but look at the bandages around his fingers, “Even though it was kind of a disaster.”
Diavolo laughs as he searches for the plates,”No no, thank you! This was a lot of fun. And we get to taste the fruit of our labor too!” he finally finds the right cabinet, “And I'm always happy to learn about the things you enjoy, like this dish.”
He might still have a lot of papers to read and sign but every once in a while he goes into the kitchen to cook the recipe he learned from you. He is extra careful while making it if he is making it for you but is more care free if it's only for himself. He also eats it when he misses you when you are unable to visit him, the same human world dish brings comfort to him as he imagines it bringing comfort to you.
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Ⓒ2024
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inthelibrarybtw · 2 days
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get to know pogue!reader
pogue!reader who is super smart, knows what she wants, a little hyper independent, works hard for what she wants. she's easy to be around, she studied her life away to get a good scholarship, it didn't come until a year later, she had applied for thousands of scholarships and the community college finally gave her one. she wants to be a nurse but thinks being a teacher will be better fitting in obx. 
pogue!reader who is sweet, kind, shy and sassy at the same time. she stands on business, loves to help others. elderly people love her, everyone that meets her likes her. she's a sunshine,  just don't provoke her. she's a family girl, her mom is the most important person to her, and the pogues are her chosen family.
pogue!reader loves books, berries, flowers and painting. she doesn't have enough time sometimes to do stuff but when she does she enjoys it. loves sunsets and having a golden retriever one of her dream. escapes from the pogues from time to time to just be by herself. she feels guilty for wanting to stop being a pogue and get a better life, she has only admitted that to her mom and pope, who agreed with her, she still feels guilty about it.
pogue!reader who even kooks like her, the elderly more always saying how sweet she looked and how kind she was. she met this old couple once at the cafe she worked at, the sweetest elderly couple. she became their friend and they always gave her jobs in their events and helped her find a new job with better pay that allows her to help her mom with house bills. who is also friends with sarah thanks to john b the only kook the pogues accept and enjoy being around.
pogue!reader who for whatever reason is rafe’s soft spot, he doesn’t like her at least that’s what he keeps telling himself, but if she’s alone at a kegger keeps her company, cold? no problem his jacket is around her. she doesn’t get it either but at the same time doesn't complain. she put him in his place, he hates that. she’s outspoken, sassy, a smartass as he would call her but he finds that appealing, hot even. they can easily talk with each other. when he finds out she works at the country club, he finds the most stupid excuses to be there all the time. topper teases him about it but lets him be even comes with him to be used as his excuse and thats when he understands why rafe likes her so much. 
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taglist: @starkeyvhs
authors note: im so happy to finally introduce her! im so excited for you guys to know her story, all that i have planned for her, this feels like a milestone because i have never let anyone read anything of what i've written ever in my life so i really hope you get to like her as much as i do and to like what i have planned.
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
INTHELIBRARYBTW ✧.*
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I love the Gravity Falls fandom because, like, you can headcanon any character as trans in any direction with like. Three exceptions.
Uh, headcanons below cut I guess
Dipper? We can make a good case for trans masc and trans femme. I tend towards trans masc because he's a little guy and just like me fr fr, but like, I like her, too, I find her cute in the punt-that-small-child-(affectionate) way.
Stan and Ford? Well, they're identical and I've seen a lot of them both being transmasc which I love and trans femme Stan and Ford actually make me feral. I need to do some things with transfemme Stan and Ford actually, I've seen them floating around and they're so cute and wholesome. Old trans sisters to me.
Side headcanon, Stan and Ford are extremely accepting even if they're cishet. Like Stan to me knew queer people in New York who died in the AIDS crisis. Like he can name people on the AIDS quilt to me and the only reason he wasn't hit by it and didn't die to it is he had to move to Gravity Falls. And Ford has a weird conception of gender that's shockingly progressive because multiverse.
Soos, okay, well, I haven't seen trans Soos around but like. First of all, super neglected character (I say as I do nothing with him). And second of all we are SLEEPING on trans Soos. A couple of the reasons for transfemme Dipper hold up here, mostly being the going-only-by-a-nickname thing. But also like, Soos's abuelita seems like just the most tolerant person ever and would so just go "Oh. I have a grandson/daughter now." and move on with her life. And also can someone draw transfemme Soos because I have a vision and if you saw it you'd agree because I can't get over her but like I can't even describe it it's just. Transfemme Soos in a corset. Transfemme Soos putting on a skirt for the first time. You feel me? Oh, and nonbinary Soos, too, just like. Soos went from very cis to the most gender human being ever to me very fast.
The three exceptions to me are Wendy, Mabel, and Pacifica (and it's up for debate whether Pacifica's even an exception).
Mabel is always transfemme. She can't for the life of me be a guy and I can't explain why. She's either transfemme or cis. Sorry, that's a girl to me and she always will be.
Wendy is either a cis woman or a trans man, and probably honestly falls on either extremely-masculine-man or tomboy-cis-woman for me. I can't really see her as transfemme.
And Pacifica is trans masc to me. I don't even see him as cis, he's just a guy. A man. Alternatively, the reason he's one of the execptions is because I was working on Divine Falls stuff and I went "what if he's genderfluid lol" and then "oh wait that's actually cool" so he's either a trans man or genderfluid to me, but like. He's genderfluid in the "getting my tits cut off and taking hormones does not make my gender one thing, I am unknowable and my gender is whatever pisses you off the most" sorta way. (Unrelated I think genderfluid Pacifica would do great on Tumblr)
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haunted-xander · 2 months
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Who's the "real" me?
+ some references for the Rise-related things I included <3
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#im reaaaally happy with this one hehe i had fun putting the stuff from different things shes had/worn#i feel like ppl overlook the massive identity crisis & the accompanying depression & internal conflict rise is going through during the gam#like shes trying to figure out who she is seperate from her idol image (which she constantly still clings to despite her insistance that sh#s done with it bc she does still crave that recognition and attention she got from that position. she literally breaks down crying when her#manager tells her kanami has taken her acting role and is more-or-less set to take her spot now)#and then she also struggles with finding what she wants to do with herself now that she doesnt have showbiz to worry about#i think she kinda unintentionally uses the investigation as an anchor for her to hold onto#something to keep her busy in the absence of the hustling idol life#and then she also like. again she keeps clinging to the idol image and the associated bubbly-ness and bold flirtation#because thats the ''her'' ppl liked#i dont think the way she acts during the game is ENTIRELY an act theres definitely a lot of her true self in it too#but she does have a lot of moments where she leans more heavily into the bubbly & flirty cutie act#her sl shows that for all that she wanted to retire from showbiz she isnt really ready just yet#bc she did actually enjoy being an idol. she did enjoy being able to reach out to people in this way & to finally have ppl like & accept he#the problem is she doesnt know who ''she'' is at this point#im rambling but u get my point. yeah. yeah#rise..............#rise kujikawa#persona#persona 4#p4#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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benbamboozled · 2 years
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I would actually kind of like the “becomes a doctor and takes over Leslie’s clinic” story…for Damian.
NOT because I think it would be ~ethical~ or idk whatever-the-fuck.
I just really love the concept of Damian having this “I HAVE A BIG IMPORTANT DESTINY” backstory/lineage/bloodline …
…SON OF THE BAT, and all that jazz…
But when he connects with Gotham and the people in it—because Batman should be connected to the people he’s protecting—Damian realizes that he doesn’t actually WANT “his” destiny.
And it’s not about rejecting Batman or his father or his mother or anything like that, but instead about taking what he’s learned and what they’ve given him and shaping it to fit himself.
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lupins-hehim-pussy · 4 months
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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scentedluminarysoul · 25 days
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Antishippers are kinda wild
"I don't get why people like (this thing), it's a huge ick/trauma for me."
That's totally fine, actually. You don't have to interact with something like that at all!
The problem comes in when you make moral judgments about what people like IN FICTION.
If you don't understand : fine
If you say people are bad because they like a thing you don't : not fine
How can people like it? It's simple actually:
Because it's not real. It's fiction. The people involved are not real and and cannot be harmed in any way.
If engaging with content harms you because of your trauma, don't engage with it.
Nobody forces you to. You're free to filter and block to your heart's content.
But claiming people are morally bad for something they enjoy in fiction is bigotry, actually. Bigots think like that.
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summer-sapphic · 2 months
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Hi I'm mad
#this is the only place I can vent about My Hero stuff#I'm so pissed that Toga is dead it's so fucked up#like everything about it is so fucked up#it started with Jin being killed#all he wanted to do was protect his friends#but Hawks mercilessly killed him while he begged for his life#and then in the big battle Toga didn't get to kill Hawks and avenge her friend#and that scum gets to live and continue being a hero#and then Toga dies too while characters with significantly worse injuries somehow survive#like are you shitting me she dies when DABI survived???#dude is a charcoal skeleton there's no fucking way he should be alive#and Uraraka went through this whole deal of questioning heroes' actions because of what Toga said to her#Toga and Uraraka finally reaching an understanding and bonding just for Toga to die is such garbage#Toga wanted to be accepted and she found it in the League#then had to watch her friends all die when all most of them wanted was just a better society#but she could have stayed with Uraraka#it would have been so much more meaningful if Toga had lived and inspired Uraraka to go into like social work#helping people who were outcasts because of their quirks#working with Toga who also knew about Spinner and Jin and Shigaraki's experiences#it's just disgusting and shows that the author doesn't understand his own world#it honestly also gives off homophobia#like he had these little glimmers of queer rep with Magne and Toga#but Magne was brutally killed#Toga died after the briefest gay moment with her and Uraraka#plus we know Jin was an ally because he threatened to kill another villain for misgendering Magne but Jin died too#honestly the only highlights of this ending for me are that Nagant and Gentle/La Brava got to live and be free#I've read this far but I honestly don't know if I care enough to finish now that Toga is seemingly confirmed dead#this is why I don't pick up shonen manga or anime anymore#toga himiko#ochako uraraka
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 4 months
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aroace joy vs aroace loneliness fight
#im saying that as someone who IS aroace if this ends up in discourse territory somehow#sometimes i think it's some form of internalized arophobia and it probably is a little at least#but i just feel so wrong and lonely thinking about the future#because i love the idea of being in love (as one can tell) but i just don't love people like that#and aside from any other self worth and confidence issues involved in obtaining a partner it just seems unfair to them you know#that id never be able to love them in that way#before anyone says qpr i am WELL AWARE!!! but then we go back to the Other Issues#besides its so easy to find other aros online but irl nobody really understands#so its kinda hopeless#ive always wanted to get married and have kids of my own !!! like genuinely i love the idea of it#but i doubt id ever find someone who would like#want to be a secret 3rd thing with me and get platonically married and raise kids or smth#and then theres the whole thing about me probably not being a good parent or being able to even afford to have kids so like. GRGRRARARSRR#cant win#ive accepted the fact im gonna be alone but it doesn't make it any happier. it feels like theres something wrong with me you know#but on the other hand i love being aroace its such an integral part me??#and it makes me so happy to be apart of the community and to know its okay#that there are people who understand the Lack#and even in the specific ways i do!!!#so its like so. aughhghhghh#saying this feels like a betrayal because i know theres nothing wrong with not#finding love. i heavily criticize the idea that people need love in their life to be fulfilled.#i feel like im wrong on both ends. to want it AND not feel it#personal posts and stuff idk#cw vent#aethers rants#sorry to be a party pooper i think its getting a bit cloudy and its getting to me
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m00ngbin · 17 days
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I'm trying to pick a major that I would be the most interested in just because it would make my life so much easier and right now I have like three ideas and they all have a million problems
#like bioengineering. that sounds great right#id make good money with even just a bachelors degree#but i dont want to be stuck with that my whole life. that doesnt sound fun to me and engineering is supposed to be a miserable major#AND MINOR#and its a relatively new field so not a lot of places near me have it. and the places that DO have it are crazy expensive#i want to get a degree in linguistics because thats something that sounds fun to me. i would enjoy that#im good with english and language#but what can i really do with a linguistics degree? and im not good at learning other languages so i couldnt be an interpreter as much as i#would enjoy it#i kind of want to go for theatre tech stuff but. idk there arent really any buts but is that really realistic for me? i stopped doing tech#in freshman year because people were kind of mean. im a quitter and theyre not going to like that and i havent done anything related#in so long so really what are the chances i get accepted for that#how much do techs make anyways? i guess it doesnt have to be THEATRE tech i could do tech for anything#i know people who tech for bands make pretty good money and they have fun#i lied theres four#i could do geology something but thats broad and also the best school for it in the state is UF.#im NOT going to UF. i would rather die. its a personal grudge. also they suck and barely accept anybody even though the school SUCKS AND IT#SO EXPENSIVE FOR NO REASON#i wanted to do marine bio two years ago but theres soooo many problems with that. including ticks#I HATE TICKS#“but joel. isnt it MARINE science? there arent ticks in the ocean” YOURE WRONG. TICKS ARE EVERYWHERE. also marine bio has a lot to do with#marshes and there ARE ticks in marshes. and maritime hammocks where id be spending a lot of time. you would not believe the amount of ticks#ive gotten from my marine bio and environmental management classes. its so many. so many ticks
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pepprs · 11 months
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my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.
#purrs#longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing#and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how#deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is#to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is#being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten#alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can#one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the#most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably#i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this#delete later#i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting#people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself#and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i#feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk.#also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental#illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt#feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant#i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that#and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending
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wild-at-mind · 9 months
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Don't want to tone police anyone else, but I kind of hope that if anyone sent me a misguided ask trying to 'correct' some terminology I used for my own self-identity, I'd be able to reply in a way that didn't frame myself as superior for being out longer than the asker.
#i've only been out for like 5 mins anyway so i kind of hate that anyway for maybe personal reasons??#i met a lot of trans people my age this year who also didn't come out during their entire 20s for Reasons#and we all agreed it fucking sucks and feels like wasted time#and i'm well aware people come out much much later than that and the same applies#as a transmasc person i have detected a small amount of 'well how would you know you only just came out like 5 mins ago'#from other transmasc people about my age who have been out way longer#and i understand where they are coming from i guess but i also can't help it#and i hope our community never has to be divided by supposed privilege lines of who came out when and who spent more time as 'cis'...#maybe people are already trying to do this but i hope not because none of that stuff is fixed enough to be an axis of oppression#though it does change our experiences of life of course it's never as simple as 'privileged vs oppressed' on things like this#in particular there's one transmasc person in my local area (there aren't many lol) who i really want to connect with but who has made#implications that they see people like me as trans babies of sorts#like not talking about me but someone else they said of a long-time friend of theirs who just came out as transmasc#'i could have used that support 10 years ago!'#i was just like :/ well they aren't talking about me but is this how people in my community see me??#anyway i think if we can't have compassion for and acceptance of each other's unique experiences it will stand in the way of intra-communit#connection
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widevibratobitch · 4 months
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im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg
#i wasted the whole fucking weekend because i *had to* come visit her and once i visited i *had to* hang out with my fucking grandfather#watching him cry about grandma and bitch about modern times and the waiter not doing his job because the café was full to bursting#and it took longer than usual to get our coffees so ofc he had to loudly insult him in third person. oh and then he had to bitch about#gay people and women who dont want children too because of he did. and i sat there and listened to it because i HAD TO#wasted four fucking hours. and then i HAD TO go to the theatre with my mom because she got us tickets because she wanted this#to be a nice day for me but i dont have fucking time to have nice days rn but in order for HER to have a nice day i need to at least pretend#i am having one. so i wasted another almost two hours on that play#which was some modern uselessly loud to the point of being physically painful bullshit bad enough that we left mid-show#and then i had to go meet with her friends so lost another two hours and by the time i got home to write that bullshit thesis it was 11pm#and i barely got anything done till 1 am because i went through another stupid little mental breakdown and then it was almost 6 am#and i had to stop because i had a train at 8 and i already only slept like 3 hours that day#and then i got home yesterday totally fucking exhausted and i started reading stuff for the thesis but i was falling asleep so i laid down#'for 10 minutes' and i woke up today at 6. not having written a word lol#and now i could just say fuck it and defend it in september and it would make my life so much easier. but my voice teacher wants me#to get accepted for the masters degree even if im already planning to get the deans leave for the first semester so like. god.#i cant do this lol#i know i should have started earlier but i was kinda busy losing my fucking mind and lying in bed staring at the ceiling for hours#and contemplating dropping out completely lol god i hate my life so much it's unreal
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nururu · 7 months
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wowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow
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