#and maybe some other stuff. i forget that i’m actually a fairly decent writer. mostly academic but i don’t do bad creative

[sharkieboi]

actually re: Neverafter but just re-read the rewrite I did of Little Red Riding Hood for my Fairy Tales class and i was a fucking genius for it

[thankskenpenders]

So, about the movie...

At long last, a week after it came out, I was finally able to see the Sonic movie. The Daytona 500 being held across the street from my favorite theater and conflicting work schedules had been keeping me away, but now I’ve finally seen it. And it was...

Decent!

Which is way, way, way, way, way better than a movie with this awful premise has any right being. That’s for damn sure. I enjoyed my time at the theater. I don’t know how they did it, but they did it. If you like Sonic and haven’t already seen it, you will probably get a kick out of this film. If you don’t like Sonic (or Jim Carrey), there is very little in this movie for you

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to break that whole movie down. This will contain full spoilers for the Sonic movie

This movie kinda gave me deja vu because it’s set up so similarly to the Bumblebee movie. Both open with a slavishly faithful CGI sequence on another planet to ensure long time fans that the creative team gives a shit, but a conflict sends the title character to Earth. There, they form an emotional bond with the human lead as they’re pursued by the bad guys, who are working with the US government and tracking the energy signature of the title character. This setup worked extremely well for Bumblebee, because it’s so similar to the usual plot of Transformers. For Sonic, it was... a mixed bag. But it worked better than I expected

(This shot does not happen in the movie.)

That opening though, huh? Green Hill Zone looked great, and I was pleasantly surprised to see they did, in fact, use the Hyper Potions track from Sonic Mania in the actual film. (The piano rendition of the Green Hill theme used later was also lovely.) Longclaw was also interesting. I’ve seen one person bring up all the bird-themed ruins in Sonic 1 and 2 as a possible source of inspiration for the character, and I think that’s a valid take. And man, the echidnas! I wasn’t expecting that AT ALL. I guess that was probably the Knuckles Clan or something? I would never, ever picture them being alive during Sonic’s lifetime, but like... I guess Knuckles had to come from somewhere, right? If they do another movie with Knuckles, will the rest of his kind have died out?

Sadly, though, this sequence felt like it was over in a heartbeat. We barely see Sonic’s life on his home planet, and we’re expected to feel emotional over Longclaw’s sacrifice when she only gets like three lines before Sonic is sent to Earth. This is a common theme with the film--it goes for these big emotional beats that it just does not earn with its rapid fire pacing

Anyway, then we fast forward and Sonic’s a teen. This is actually kind of an interesting one if you’re constantly neck deep in Sonic Character Analysis like me, because it’s a pretty different take on the character. It’s hard to give them credit for doing something somewhat fresh with the character, though, because like... how much of that was intentional, and how much was just Hollywood writers trying to squeeze a generic action-adventure movie out of Sonic? (Honestly, it’s probably mostly the latter.)

The closest other piece of Sonic media to the movie would probably be Sonic X, a story in which Sonic isn’t really the protagonist. The Sonic of the anime is fairly emotionally distant. He cares deeply about his friends, and does nice things for them, but he’s totally fine with running off on his own for extended lengths of time, and he doesn’t really talk about his feelings. He’s not the character the audience is meant to sympathize with, but is instead this cool older kid who Chris wants to impress. This is pretty much in line with how Sega likes to depict the character. He cares about his friends, but he’s also cool with being a loner. It feels like he only runs into them incidentally, usually when Eggman is causing trouble, and then when the crisis of the week is taken care of he’s back to going on his own adventures. There’s a reason why one of his catchphrases is “long time no see”

The Sonic of the movie is the polar opposite. His main conflict is that he’s lonely and desperately seeks friendship. He’s also an overly-eager, extremely earnest goober. He literally flosses twice. (Which I loved.) I’ve seen him compared to Silver, and honestly, that’s not a bad comparison. I did like it, though! I don’t mind Sonic being a more emotionally open character, like he was in a lot of older Western media. I mean, he cried in like the second or third episode of SatAM

It’s just that, like many things in the movie, it feels less like a deliberate creative choice and more like a logical string of decisions to make when writing a generic action-adventure film for general audiences. Sonic’s the only one of his kind on Earth, so of course he’d be lonely. He has to have some sort of arc for audiences to connect with him, and if he’s gotta be accompanied by James Marsden for the whole movie, well, his arc’s gotta be about them becoming friends

I’ve gotta say, though: Ben Schwartz is great as Sonic. As much as I like Roger Craig Smith, I wouldn’t complain if he became the new main voice of the character. And thanks to the redesign, he looked great. I can’t imagine how nightmarish this movie would’ve been if Sonic wasn’t cute

My main fear with this movie, though, was that Sonic wouldn’t really be the protagonist. As a fan of Transformers, I know all too well that the cost of doing a full CGI character usually means that said character can’t really be the star of the film. Optimus and Bumblebee aren’t the stars of the Transformers movies--they’re supporting characters who are primarily present for the sake of the action scenes. The humans are the real stars in those movies, and the robots are barely even characters. I was terrified that Sonic would be the same, with the actual character I paid to see taking a backseat to James Marsden The Cop

I’m not quite sure if they struck the right balance there, but they did better than I worried they would. Sonic is central enough to the film and gets enough screentime that you can easily say he’s the protagonist. BUT there is absolutely too much of Tom and his family. The human cast is fine, the performances are fine, and there were a few good jokes, but every time the movie tried to get me to care about Tom’s life I was bored out of my mind. It’s just so trite and passionless. The other characters barely felt fleshed out at all, including Tom’s girlfriend (wife?) and Agent Stone. The little girl who gives Sonic the shoes had some cute moments, though

I do, however, love the part in which James Marsden is walking around in a San Francisco t-shirt, to remind us that he’s planning on moving to San Francisco... which then becomes the excuse for Sonic to think about San Francisco and accidentally send his warp rings there, which becomes the excuse for the buddy road trip aspect of the film. And as much as that was a focus of the marketing, the actual road trip part is like... maybe 20 minutes of the movie? There’s like three scenes with Sonic and Tom on the road and then they’re in San Francisco for act 3. The movie tries to act like they’ve formed this deep bond and I just did not give a shit. I don’t care about the cop. All Cops Are Bastards, and that absolutely includes Tom, whose dream in life is to join the extremely corrupt San Francisco PD

The whole excuse for Sonic having to sit in the passenger seat of a car going the speed limit for a good chunk of the movie is also, just. Stupid. If he doesn’t know where San Francisco is and time is of the essence, just... give him a map?

And then there’s Jim Carrey. I was worried about this one. The previews tended to highlight his most Jim Carrey Being Wacky moments, and as fond as I am of movies like The Truman Show and Bruce Almighty, that’s just. That’s not Robotnik. I was pleasantly surprised by the actual movie, though! I thought he was pretty good. I’m not sure what incarnation of Eggman I’d most compare him to, but like... it was close enough, and he was entertaining enough. I’d pay to go see another movie with him as Robotnik. Sure. (Especially with how he was looking at the end of the film.)

There were some other little interesting tidbits here with Eggman, although again, a lot of that is less “let’s do a new take on Eggman” and more “let’s do a marketable movie with Eggman in it, which requires us to explain some stuff.” Like him straight up just being a normal human from Earth, with none of the confusion present in the current “two worlds” canon of the games. Or him apparently being an orphan who was bullied in school, and who trusts machines more than other humans. It’s a safe way to depict the character in a Hollywood movie, but I thought it worked

The way they got to his nickname was kind of funny, though. Like, obviously they didn’t put Jim Carrey in a fat suit, and thank god for that. So instead of mocking his weight, the nickname is derived from the egg-shaped robots he uses. Which made sense, I guess. It at least felt logical for this incarnation of Sonic, who had annoyingly been calling Tom “Donut Lord” the whole movie, to make up the nickname “Eggman.” (Said robots, by the way, were a weak point of the movie to me. They just didn’t have that Eggman whimsy and felt very safe and very Hollywood. Honestly, though, if they had just made Robotnik’s ship grey and slapped some hazard stripes on it, it’d probably be fine.)

As a whole, I thought the humor of the movie was... okay. Sonic had a lot of good moments thanks to Schwartz’s great performance, as did Robotnik. There were just so many weird lines, like James Marsden telling Robotnik that he was breast fed, or the agonizingly long child trafficking joke with Sonic in the duffel bag. Stuff like that

The action was great, though. They definitely owe a lot to the Quicksilver scene in that one X-men movie (I forget the one), but they had a lot of fun with Sonic’s powers and it felt extremely true to the character. Seeing him do one of his Smash poses during the San Francisco fight was great. The action scenes were an absolute delight

And then the ending. Oh, that ending

So, I had already heard that Tails shows up in the stinger before I saw the film. And when I heard that, I expected it to be like, the classic Tails origin story. Maybe Sonic would return to his planet, and run into this precocious kid who decides to follow him around... but no! Not at all! Tails is already the Tails we know and love. He’s already an inventor, he’s already tracking down Sonic. I’m shocked that Sonic actually stayed with Tom instead of running off to have new adventures, but hopefully this is a sign that more characters will be brought into the fray if they make a sequel

And boy, they better make that damn sequel. This movie had a great opening weekend and a positive reception. They have no excuse not to. GIVE US SONIC AND TAILS GOING ON AN ADVENTURE

Other stray thoughts

Holy shit they put Sanic in the movie

The Sega logo animation meant that Kiryu from Yakuza was in this movie for a few seconds

The pixel art credits sequence, which featured both the Sonic 2 special stage and Get Blue Spheres as well as the Eggman logo screens from the Studiopolis Zone boss, was cute

The Saturn logo could be seen on the diagram of the other habitable planets

Robotnik had a label for “Badniks” on his circuit breaker. I wonder if the drones in the movie are intended to be Badniks, or if we’ll see actual ones if a sequel gets made

Also, was it implied that Robotnik committed war crimes for the US government

One of the government guys who I think only got one line was played by Garry Chalk and as such sounded exactly like Optimus Primal

I can’t tell if Sonic getting a red race car bed was an intentional shout out to the Archie comics or if it’s just a coincidence, but I loved it

A dude about my age wearing a Sonic Mania t-shirt literally stood up and clutched his head in shock when Tails showed up

After the movie a very excited kid got his mom to take his photo with the Sonic display in the lobby. Afterwards he was so excited that he flossed

I can’t believe they talked about Olive Garden so much

[writinggeisha]

Chapter 3: Reader Question : Description

Hey guys, (just a heads up, for a quick summary of tips you can just skip to the end of the chapter!)

In chapter three of 'oh my gods I can't believe you're actually reading something I once wrote when seriously sleep deprived' we are going to discuss how you can make descriptions work for you. I got this nifty question right here from a guest named Celeste :

First off im kind of making a 'crack' ship of two of my OCs. My problems are like when should I stop describing them? I tend to go on and on about it. Ive already decided to leave out some characters and have a bit of a storyline. Its just I need to know when to stop.

Also, terribly sorry Celeste but seeing as how you were on guest I couldn't really reach you other than posting a new chapter in this guide. I really do hope that you'll see this eventually.

Okay, so I can hear you thinking : weren't you like, the person who told us that excessive descriptions are bad? Well yeah, I was but I was mostly talking about wardrobe (and I'm also an idiot who does very little physical description in her own work but hush). Doesn't mean you can't make it work for you. If you are a bit of description nut it can be hard to kick the habit. Instead of going cold turkey you can use the stuff you are describing to show how your characters function, something which works great when working with Original Characters. I'm going to be level with you all, usually I describe my characters as little as possible. I mean, I drop clues every once in a while but I'm all about the action and plot. This doesn't mean I can't help you however.

The first thing what you do is know what your character looks like, something which Celeste has already done. Then you decide which elements are important and how you will introduce them. Note that the how is very important here because some tropes have been done so often they get boring. The trope you'll really want to avoid when describing characters is your character describing themselves. You know what I mean, they'll be looking in the mirror and start listing of traits.

Stop.

The problem with this is that it will practically always push you in two categories of characters. The vain or the I'm actually pretty but I don't see it myself.

The problem with a vain character is fairly simple. As people we generally don't tend to like others who are too self-absorbed. If a person looks in a mirror and all they see is how perfect the arch of their lips is and how their cheekbones catch the light so beautifully, we'll roll our eyes and be like 'sure babe'. On the other side of the spectrum is the character that is actually quite pretty but they themselves don't notice it. You would think this is a personality upgrade, and in some ways it is. But seriously? This trope again? Not to mention this is also the kind of person who deflects every compliment aimed at them. This reeks of false modesty, and there is no shame in admitting someone is at least decent to look at. You'll want to aim for a middle ground, and truth be told, it's very hard to hit the sweet spot. I suggest staying away from mirrors on the whole. (not you as a person of course. I mean, I check the mirror as well to see if my hair is in place or if I managed to spill sauce over my clothes. That's what they are for. That and checking my eyebrow game. But I digress.)

Avoid the information dump. That is where you get aaaaaaall of the information about a character in one paragraph. It's age and height and weight and color preferences and food preferences and what sort of people they like, but also their clothing preference and... do you get tired from imagining having to say all of that the first time you meet someone? I probably mentioned this before but try spreading information out in the story by mixing it in with your narrative. And instead of giving exact heights, give their height relevant to other characters (though it doesn't hurt to know the exact measurements yourself, your audience just doesn't need to know).

Honestly speaking, Celeste, we never stop giving information about our characters. The point is to do it subtly. There is also a difference between describing them and characterisation (something which quite often gets confused).

When you say you can't stop describing your characters, I imagine you're talking about the clothes and their physical appearance. Which raises the question, how peculiar looking are they? Let's take a look at one of the more popular books of our time, good ol' Harry Potter (belonging to JK Rowling). This is how Harry is first described in the books.

"Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair, and bright-green eyes. He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Sellotape, " [book 1, chapter 2]

If you think that is sparse, try on Ron for size. "He was tall, thin, and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet, and a long nose." [book 1, chapter 6] (they're not even mentioning that he's a redhead!)

And to finish up, here's Hermione.

She had a bossy sort of voice, lots of bushy brown hair, and rather large front teeth. [book 1, chapter 6]

These are the primary descriptions, something for your audience to hold on to while they are waiting for more information. During the story we get to know more about them but this is the first introduction. During a first introduction you want to give the audience what an average person would see when someone passes by on the street. When someone walks by we'll usually notice these things : color of clothing or lack of color and any distinct facial characteristics like beards or tattoos or whatever. After that, on closer inspection comes eyebrows and the like, maybe shoes. And only after that comes the really detailed stuff, like a weird ring or an odd button on their coat. Their conversation partner might only notice those things while they're having a cup of coffee two hours later. Which is good, because those details also signify new things about the other character. That punk rock fan might be wearing a Hello Kitty wrist watch, but you only see it from a certain angle. The serious looking secretary actually has multiple ear piercings, but the way she wears her hair makes it so you can only see it when it's in an updo.

What you do want to do is making sure you're giving the information at an appropriate time. When two people are discussing politics it doesn't make much sense for the conversation partner to suddenly compliment someone on their shoes (thanks, they're new!), but they will notice when someone else is wearing a pride badge or something like that (omg I just said something insulting and now I probably pissed them off). When two teens are talking they're most likely to notice things that signify common interests (I totally love that band and you're wearing their t-shirt?).

When your characters have known each other for a longer time, they'll notice other things about each other. A character can comment on a difference in looks or the lack of difference (this is the first time I've ever seen you wear an orange shirt! Why are you wearing cargo pants in this weather? You're wearing that Puka shirt again?) . When they're observing the other character they might think stuff like 'I wish my hair was so curly! or If there's one guy who manages to make unwashed shirts look cool it's him'.

You know what a really cool trick is? Characterisation through description.

By now you know your characters. I mean, like really know them. A is pretty uptight and prissy while B never gets enough sleep but does know how to cook really well. Just like how you can tell a lot about people by how they dress (or at least you think you can) you can do the same for characters. The uptight character might have a preference for fancy sweaters and there's hardly ever a crinkle in them, which shows others that she takes good care of them. Character B is often seen with a mug of coffee and food stains on his pants because he always forgets to put on an apron. The secretary has fiery red nails, which could be an indicator of her personality. The girl who wears her hair in a messy bun might either be a real fashionista (have you ever tried it? I fail every time T.T) or she's always in a hurry because she's a chronic oversleeper, meaning she doesn't have the time for anything fancy. The boy with the bag full of books obviously likes reading while the bandaids on his fingers indicate he's a bit of a klutz. The jock who's an ace at basketball is never seen without a lollipop, indicating quite the sweet tooth. Her girlfriend on the other hand is usually seen with remnants of flour in her hair because she bakes cookies every day.

What I'm trying to say is, you can keep adding description to your characters. But don't dump all the info on your readers in one go, and don't mention things that wouldn't make sense in the context. If you feel like taking it to the next level you can add details to hint at character traits that aren't mentioned straight out.

Quick cheat sheet :

Information dumps = big no no Character describing themselves should be avoided if possible Character description and details vary by conversation partners and situation. Different people notice different things Use details to hint at character traits (bandaids could mean klutzy, but also just good at sports or they often defend friends from bullies)

If there's any other questions you may have, or if you'd like a reference excerpt, just ask ^^ I'm happy if this helps even one person.

Also, remember that this is just my own way of doing things. Some of it may not work for you, and that's okay. Writers all grow in different ways and at different paces. Only you can write like you were meant to do.

[iyarpage]

The Secret to Site Traffic, and 7 Ways to Make it Happen

Whenever someone asks, “How can I increase traffic to my website?” the answer is invariably, “Regularly post new content.” You could be alone in the forest where the proverbial tree fell when you ask this question, and you’d probably get the same answer from a passing bear. The bear might even offer you a course on making website content for only $49.95 USD, involving three easy web seminars.

People keep saying that your company blog needs to be more than press releases, and they’re right. They’re often kind of short on details, though. So, here, with no need for seminars or payment from you, I’m here to let you in on the super secret recipe for blogging success that I mostly learned by reading other blogs. Oh, and there was some personal experience, I guess.

No, but seriously, some of these tips for maintaining a stream of regular content have worked quite well for me. Other ideas on this list worked really well for other people. If you’re just starting to put together a blog for your company, there’s a lot here that you’ll probably find useful.

1. Keep Notes

New writers and creators might have lots of ideas of things they’d like to try. and that’s great! Start with that. But once that initial pool of ideas is exhausted, you will most likely find that coming up with new ideas is one of the harder bits of being creative.

Now some people like me can only come up with new ideas when we sit down and force ourselves into a certain idea-finding mindset. Others, however, come up with ideas all the time, and then forget them. Don’t let that happen to you. Grab a note-taking app on your phone, for example, and write that stuff down! Keep all of your content ideas in one place, so you can pick and choose from them when it’s time to sit down and work.

2. Look for Contributors

This option requires a bit of a budget, if you want to do it right. But, if your company is large enough, you might consider investing in hiring a writer/creator part-time, or on a freelance basis.

This is not as easy as it sounds, though. You want a writer who knows at least enough about your field or industry that they don’t sound like complete amateurs. You want a contributor who can meet deadlines. You want one that can take suggestions. And ideally, you want one that has their own voice, a distinct style to create a personal connection with your readers/listeners/viewers that they’ll keep coming back for. And then you want one that’s within your price range.

As they say: cheap, fast, and good. Pick two.

3. Start a Series

One of the easiest ways to keep regular content going is to start a series. I don’t mean a series of articles that has two-to-five articles and that’s it. Those can provide some content, but they have an ending point by nature. I’m talking about a series that can be continued nearly ad-infinitum if you make a new installment every week, every two weeks, or every month.

Easy ideas for this kind of content include:

Reviews

State of the industry articles

Interviews

Compilations of resources (ie the 25 best tools for X)

4. Start a Podcast

Don’t let anybody tell you that you have to spend a ton of money to start a podcast. There are some decent ones out there that have been recorded (and even filmed) on higher-end mobile phones. Just grab some friends and colleagues in your field, sit down, and talk about your industry.

It helps to have a short outline of topics you’d like to discuss, but otherwise, keep it fairly casual, and don’t make it too long. Then just put up an episode on your blog regularly. Once a month is fine to start with, if you’re quite busy.

If the podcast in particular really takes off, then you might consider investing more in equipment.

5. Contribute to the Conversation

In every industry, the people who blog about it tend to follow some trends. Whenever a big story comes up, read what others have to say on it, and write a response. Well, you could try to be first to get your opinion out there, but that’s a rough game that would require some sleepless nights.

Responses can take a few forms. You can politely point out things you disagree with other people on to provide a different perspective. You can respond to people you agree with, but try to build on the points they made, and look for things they might have missed. Lastly, you can just point your own readers to content that you can’t find any fault with. Yes, that’s an option.

6. Editorial Calendar

Put together an editorial calendar. It’s like an outline for your blog, but you put in a calendar format. Simply put, an editorial calendar does for your blogging what any calendar does for the rest of your life. Once you have your regular posts and already-written posts on the calendar, you can immediately see where you might be missing anything.

You can make one with a tool as simple as Google Calendar, and keep it synced with everyone who contributes to your company blog. If you use a CMS like WordPress, there are plugins like the appropriately-named Editorial Calendar to give you an easy calendar overview of posts that are actually in your CMS. From there, you can move posts around as you see fit.

7. Build Your Writing Confidence

One of the things that was most difficult for me as I started writing was the simple yet panic-inducing fear of failure. Nothing kills a writing/creative habit like just being sure that you’re is going to suck anyway, so why try?

Practice is one of the more obvious answers to this conundrum, and it’s absolutely essential. However, you can get some confidence by just preparing yourself correctly. Prepare yourself by reading, a lot. I’ve mentioned CopyBlogger maybe a thousand times, and I’ll reference a thousand times more. They offer good writing advice.

Prepare to write by making sure you have a solid outline that covers everything you want to mention. Get some good music going, or find a quiet place to work. Just make sure you’re calm and feeling good. It makes it a lot easier to just focus on making something that will keep your users coming back.

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