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taemcin · 2 years

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The Only Exception - Chapter 3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Pairing: Neteyam x Original Character, Lo’ak x Original Character

Rating: PG! (Neteyam, Lo’ak and OC are teenagers)

Warnings: Fluff, Blind character, Disability, Friends to lovers, a little bit of angst, Friendships, Romance, Slowburn

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: On rare occasions Neteyam and Lo’ak would let Nova join in on their adventurous walks through the forest.

A/N: Nova is so oblivious, oh goodness. Kiri is my precious sassy baby. Lo'ak is a stuttering awkward mess and Neteyam is, well, Neteyam.

This is posted on my Ao3 account here!

On rare occasions Neteyam and Lo’ak would let Nova join in on their adventurous walks through the forest. That’s only if Kiri would tag along as well. Kiri has been so helpful during these years that she has become a guide for Nova when needed. Kiri was one of Nova’s dearest friends, and even though Nova has lost her sight, Kiri was always there to shed some light to Nova’s darkness.

But siblings, as Nova learned over time, sometimes they just don’t get along. And Kiri would rather be anywhere but with her brothers right now. Looks like Nova has some convincing to do.

“Kiri,” Nova whined – she even went the extra mile to pout hoping that it will work. “Please Kiri – can we go?” Nova begged.

Nova heard Kiri sigh, and she could even imagine Kiri rolling her eyes right now.

“You know what, I don’t give in that easily Nova,” Kiri says, crossing her arms and standing firm. Nova looked down, the feeling of defeat washing over her features. Nova knows that Kiri is stubborn to begin with and would never change her mind.

The look on Nova’s face must have hit a soft spot for Kiri – it always does when it comes to Nova. Because the next thing you know Kiri softly grabs Nova’s hands in hers and sighs.

“Oh Nova, don’t make that face!” Kiri says. “You know what you’re doing and it’s not fair.”

Nova looks up in Kiri’s direction, “Does that mean it’s working?” Nova questions, a hint of a smile slightly forming on her lips.

“Hmm let’s see,” Kiri’s tone is hinting at something playful. “It will only work if you agree to help me finish weaving the baskets.”

Nova can’t do many things by herself but if there is one thing that she could do without her sight – without anyone’s help guiding her through the motions, it’s weaving a basket. The reputative patterns against her nimble fingers – she knows it all too well.

Nova smiles because – yes. She is finally going to be able to go on a journey with Neteyam, Lo’ak and Kiri! Her dearest friends.

“Then I guess, for your sake I’ll come along.” Kiri sounds defeated but honestly if Nova could see her face right now, she would think the opposite.

“You are the best Kiri!” Nova beams, excitement thrumming through her body. She has waited so long for this.

“Oh, believe me, I know.” Kiri says confidently, grabbing Nova’s arm and tugging her along in the direction to collect their gear. “But just because I’m tagging along doesn’t mean I’m going to play nice with my brothers.”

Nova walks alongside Kiri and nods. Siblings – Nova thinks that she might never understand. “They don’t deserve to see your nice side Kiri.” Nova quips.

“Yes, you’re right my little Nova – I save my nice side just for you.” Kiri winks at Nova and playfully pats her head and smiles.

They start to gather the necessary gear for their journey. Or more so, Kiri was stuffing things in a sack bag for Nova, being ever so helpful. What would Nova do without her? Kiri was just about done collecting their items for the journey and then Nova hears heavy footsteps approach right in front of her.

“Hey Nova – you can’t forget about this!” Lo’ak’s voice fills the space around her, warm and inviting.

A few moments pass by and then, “Oh?” Nova questions tilting her head, standing there wondering what it possibly could be.

“Lo’ak it would actually help if you, oh I don’t know– you told Nova what it was you were about to give her?” Kiri said with a sarcastic remark.

Lately when it comes to Nova, Lo’ak loses all sense of comprehension and maybe a few braincells. He gets so caught up in the moment when it comes to Nova, it’s almost as if there is a switch inside him that instantly turns off and he becomes so lost. Practically a mess.

“Oh!” Lo’ak awkwardly smiles and silently groans feeling a little embarrassed. Why does this always happen to him? “Nova, it’s your walking stick – here I think this will help you.” Lo’ak pulls Nova’s hand towards the walking stick and gently places it in her hand.

“Uh yeah, you think?” Kiri directed her bitter comment towards Lo’ak. To which Lo’ak silently gave her the finger and in return Kiri stuck her tongue out at him and rolled her eyes.

Nova, being completely oblivious about the situation unfolding Infront of her looks up and smiles.

“Thank you Lo’ak. You are always looking out for me, I appreciate it!”

“What a lovesick fool.” Kiri mutters lowly to herself – so low that Nova was not able to catch what she said. It doesn’t matter because the comment was made directly towards Lo’ak.

Lo’ak in turn looks at his sister and once again gave her the finger. “Anything for you Nova.” Lo’ak says. What would Nova do without her dearest friends?

Only then does Lo’ak turn on his heel and walks away. Kiri, slightly aggravated shakes her head in disbelief and scoffs.

“You sure know how to pick them Nova.” Kiri pats Nova on the back and gently grabs her hand, leading her to walk forward. Nova slightly confused – and oblivious as ever – has no clue what Kiri means by that statement.

“Pick what?” Nova questions.

Kiri doesn’t have it in her to tell her yet. In time, she hopes that her dearest friend will realize that both of her brothers are lovesick fools. She shudders at the thought of it.

Kiri pats Nova’s hand lovingly. “Oh, my sweet friend,” Kiri sighs. “Let’s have some fun, shall we?” And so, they marched on forward to catch up to where Neteyam and Lo’ak were waiting for them.

Nova shrugs her shoulders. Whatever Kiri said earlier passed through her mind quickly, soon to be forgotten. It doesn’t matter now because Nova was finally going to spend some time with her dearest friends that she loves so much. She’s going on an adventure, and she can’t wait!

-o-

There is a designated path that they take through the forest. The path has been worn down, so much so that the ground beneath them is flat, and it’s very easy for Nova to navigate it with Kiri by her side. Even though Nova can’t technically see where she is going – feeling the earth beneath her feet, the fresh air and the thick smell of the wooded area that sting her senses, she feels at home more than ever.

They have been walking for a while now, with Kiri by her side while Neteyam and Lo’ak lead the way. Neteyam would occasionally take turns with Kiri to walk besides Nova to give Kiri a little break. Kiri loves nature, so naturally this allows Kiri to enjoy the nature around her so she can soak up the scenery and enjoy the walk.

Nova feels a different pair or hands grabbing onto her arm, holding her steady and making sure she doesn’t tumble to the ground.

“Are you doing alright?” Neteyam asks, ever so careful and gentle as ever. That’s just Neteyam Nova has came to realize.

“Let’s see,” Nova says playfully. “I haven’t tripped and fell into a hole yet. Nor have I run into a tree, but you never know, I can’t see that far into the future – well literally I can’t.” Nova joked, which earned an honest laugh to escape Neteyam’s lips.

“I keep forgetting how funny you are.” Neteyam smiles down at Nova, basking in her presence. He could get used to this.

“Ah, so that’s why you keep me around huh?” Nova says. “For your own personal entertainment?”

Nova doesn’t know if she was desperately failing at being funny, but Neteyam suddenly takes on a different tone.

“That’s not the only reason why I keep you around,” Neteyam’s tone suddenly low and serious. Nova for a second is slightly confused.

“Oh really?” Nova continues. “Now you have to tell me your other reasons – I would love to know.”

And that, for some reason, made Neteyam’s stomach turn – it was almost as if he felt nervous? But why would he feel nervous as thoughts of Nova floods his mind. He wanted to tell her the other reasons – he really did. The way Nova’s aura is nothing but happiness that spreads like wildfire and engulfs you in the sweet loving flames. The way Nova is always persistent on doing things her way – and he admires her drive to never give up. Or the way how the sun shines on her face, her skin radiant and soft. Glowing so bright, her beauty brings a smile to his face. There is so much Neteyam could say but he doesn’t.

Before Neteyam could come up with a response Lo’ak interrupts the moment, yelling in the distance.

“I think I found our spot!” Lo’ak yells from a distance.

“You think or do you actually know this time?” Nova hears Kiri’s annoyed and yet playful voice somewhere in the distance.

“You know what, I’m going to find a rock and throw it at your annoying face.” Lo’ak spits out so childlike.

Nova can only imagine the sight before her. Lo’ak’s arms are probably crossed, bearing an angry expression on his face. While Kiri is quite literally probably rolling her eyes with an annoyed face.

“Oh, no,” Kiri cries sarcastically. “Hopefully it will knock me out to the point where I don’t have to hear your stupid annoying voice anymore. If anything, you would be doing me a great service.”

With that Nova and Neteyam couldn’t help but laugh.

“Baby brother, let’s play nice, shall we? If we want to survive the night, maybe we should all get along.” Neteyam says, naturally trying to be the bigger person in the situation. The big brother.

“I would rather die in a hole right now than to play nice with Lo’ak.” Kiri whines. Nova knows she is being dramatic – hopefully she is not wrong.

Neteyam and Nova finally caught up to the supposedly spot where they would be hunkering down for the night.

“I don’t know about you guys but I’m really enjoying my time with you all.” Nova states so innocently, putting it out there to hopefully ease the conversation in another direction. And honestly, Nova really is having a great time. Even with the constant bickering between Lo’ak and Kiri, and Neteyam’s sense of calmness with it all – she couldn’t be happier.

“Your right Nova” Kiri says. “As long as Nova is happy, I’m happy.” Kiri walks over to Nova, latches on to her arm and leads her away to settle down on the forest floor to rest. “I’m only doing this for Nova, and not you two losers.” Kiri sticks her tongue out at her brothers.

“I think we all are doing this for Nova,” Lo’ak couldn’t help but bite out. Neteyam slaps him on the back of his head, shaking his head. Lo’ak sighs and groans. “I’ll start getting the supplies to set up the shelter for the night then.”

“I’ll collect us some firewood to make a fire.” Neteyam states. “Kiri would you like to help me?”

Even though Lo’ak put Kiri in a mood, she bites back her tongue and complies.

“Firewood duty, you got it!” Kiri turns to Nova and pats her back. “Are you going to be ok by yourself for a while?”

“I think I can manage to be by myself for a while.” It’s true, Nova thinks. She might be blind but she’s not completely incapable of taking care of herself on her own.

Kiri nods her head even though Nova can’t see it and she smiles. Kiri looks up at the sky and sighs. “Looks like rain soon, so I’ll make it fast.” Kiri says while standing up to go join Neteyam and Lo’ak.

“Don’t go anywhere! We’ll be back Nova!” Nova hears Lo’ak shout in her direction. Which in turn she hears Kiri bite out an annoyed, “Really?”

Nova lifts her arms up and waves, hoping she is facing towards them. “Don’t worry, I won’t!” Nova shouts back.

As she hears the voices of Neteyam, Lo’ak, and Kiri fade away in the distance – silence took over Nova’s space. Nova is patient, and intent on listening to her surroundings around her.

So she waits. And she waits. And waits some more.

Until she starts to feel cold water droplets cascade down her face. It begins to rain.

Nova stands up, her walking stick in tow. She slowly tries to navigate her surroundings using her feet, and she uses her walking stick to tap the path in front of her. Earlier on today she remembers Neteyam saying the spot where they would be hunkering down for a night has a small, enclosed space that would shield them from any on coming weather.

Nova thinks she could find it – it can’t be that hard, and it can’t be that far from where Kiri sat her down. So, Nova begins to walk, as carefully as she could. The rain starts to get heavier, and the gust of winds start to pick up. Nova hears the wind whistle through the trees roughly. How is this storm picking up so quickly?

The next thing you know Nova steps and trips on something wet and slippery – she tumbles down and hits her head hard. The feeling of dizziness and nauseousness took over. Her dull world of grey completely turns black.

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softdomhailie · 1 year

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Information about my ask box :)!

I want to make clear that so far I’ve not had anything in my ask box that I don’t like or wouldn’t read myself, but I want to explain why I might not have answered some asks that are there.

If you mention a gender in the ask and I steer clear of that always. Or it might be an ask that includes a specific way that someone must look to put themselves in the readers position. It could also be that the ask is specifically for that one person, and I don’t do 1 to 1 roleplay. I always answer as Dom x reader rather than Dom x ‘person who sent the ask’.

Another reason is that sometimes the content that I’m being asked for might have content that would be a bit too “raw” for me to post as a person, but I COULD write as fanfiction. I’ll give you an example;

When I write on here, I’m using a pseudonym, but I’m still me, a real person. So when I write it’s like “Hi this is me, these thoughts are from me.”

So some of the subjects that involve mental health and how to deal with mental health, I’m thinking of how I personally would deal with that and how I would write that.

However, when I’m writing fanfiction, though the feelings are real and I “write what I know”, the characters aren’t. So I can write much more freely because I’m not saying “hi this is me” I’m saying “Hi I’m [character]”.

When I started my main tumblr account @hailhailsatan , this began as a Witcher fanfiction account. I could write all of my emotions out that I struggled with, but it wasn’t coming from me. I could delve deep into my own trauma, feelings, triggers, and how I want to be treated and how I think things may be resolved and it wasn’t “frightening” to think that this was me saying these things about myself. I could test dialogue out without “me” saying it. This was (and is) extremely cathartic for me and helped(helps) incredibly with my own mental health.

I can’t do that with this account.

I understand where those asks are coming from and I get it, but I can’t answer them on here without putting myself in a headspace that I can’t guarantee won’t affect me outside of the “tumblr safe space”.

Now, if any of you like Witcher, well on my main blog some of the asks that I get have actually been written as fanfiction. These stories explore themes that crop up a lot in my asks, but obviously it’s all Witcher based and that’s absolutely not for everyone! You’re free to ask about that over there and I can certainly provide links to my stories. I’m also on AO3.

I do like to try and make this place as safe a space as possible and I really do thank you for trusting me with these asks.

:)!

#dont reblog

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librathefangirl · 2 years

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My Writing Year in Review - 2022

I only joined ao3 in July and I've definitely haven't written as much as I've wanted this year, but I figured I'd celebrate the new year with looking back at the writing accomplishments I did manage in 2022. @LibraTheFangirl.

(Continue reading for my personal favorite posted stories of 2022 and why, as well as resolutions/plans and WIPs for 2023).

Stories posted: 6.

Fandoms posted:

Stranger Things (3 stories).

Nowhere Boys (1 story).

9-1-1: Lone Star (1 story).

S.W.A.T. (1 story).

Pairings posted:

Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler (3 stories).

Carlos Reyes/TK Strand (1 story).

Word count: 3, 249.

Longest story: TK Vs Tomatoes (9-1-1: Lone Star) - 944 word, 1/2 chapters.

Completed stories: 5 out of 6.

Most common tags:

Hurt/Comfort (4 stories).

Hurt Steve Harrington (2 stories).

Triple Drabble (2 stories).

Most popular stories:

Hits: Warm Hands (Stranger Things) - 1, 897 hits.

Kudos: Warm Hands (Stranger Things) - 196 kudos.

Comment threads:

Warm Hands (Stranger Things) - 3 comment threads.

Trust and Needles (Stranger Things) - 3 comment threads.

I Think I Love You (Stranger Things) - 3 comment threads.

Bookmarks: Warm Hands (Stranger Things) - 3 bookmarks.

Subscriptions: TK Vs Tomatoes (9-1-1: Lone Star) - 17 subscriptions.

Total hits: 5, 815. Total kudos: 568.

Total comment threads: 13. Total bookmarks: 78.

Total story subscriptions: 26. User subscriptions: 4.

My personal favorite stories posted:

Warm Hands (Stranger Things)

Jonathan’s gaze softens as he uses his free hand to lift up the blanket. Steve blinks at the sight underneath. His chest is almost completely covered in bandages. Yeah. Not good. “Oh.” Jonathan places the blanket back down. His hand gently gracing over Steve’s chest. Jonathan gives him a warm smile. Nancy still looks angry. Steve gives her an uncertain look, and she sighs, “You scared the shit out of us, Steve.” “Sorry.” “It’s fine, just- Don’t do it again,” Jonathan says and Steve smiles. “Not making any promises.” “Of course you won’t,” Nancy scoffs half-heartedly. “Next time, I’ll kill you myself.”

I feel like what I really like about this story is more about the circumstances and what it meant to me than the story itself, if that makes sense. This was not only my first Stranger Things and Stoncy story, but also the main reason I finally got an ao3 and Tumblr account in the first. Mind you, I've wanted to get those for years now, but Stoncy Week 2022 and with it this story was what finally pushed past the anxiety and whatnot. This was also the first time in a really long time I just sat down and actually wrote. This story's signifies my way back to writing.

The Bremin Gang (Nowhere Boys)

“... Still, try finding another four kids in Bremin who could have solved the mystery of why that demon wanted an apple tree.” “We never figured out why it wanted the tree.” “Why do you have to ruin my fun, Jakey?” For a moment the two boys just stared at each other, then Jake sighed. “Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s who?” Glancing over his shoulder at the other two teens, the earth element then added, “Andy’s Velma, right?” “Of course!” Sam agreed. “And you’re Fred, except instead of traps you think brute force is the answer to everything. Your method is about as successful as his traps.”

This technically wasn't written in 2022, but it was posted then, so it still counts. I mostly just write Hurt/Comfort and Whump, so I take a little extra pride whenever I manage some more lighthearted/humor-esque. This is also something I've wanted to share for a while. And who doesn't love a good Scooby-Doo comparison? 😂

New year writing resolutions and plans for 2023:

Writing more regularly for the sake of writing and my own enjoyment.

Participate in Febuwhump and Whumptober.

Complete at least SOME of my too-many-to-count WIPS 😂

Cross-posting my FF-stories on a03? (Not without spell-checking though, my god, my old works have som brutal errors 😂)

WIPs I'm most excited about (so many but here's a selected few):

Tarlos Timer AU (9-1-1: Lone Star; current word count: 1k+ words)

Carlos had grieved for a man he’d never know for a few months when TK Strand came crashing into his life.

This is one of my WIPs i'm most excited AND most frustrated with (the writing just isn't coming along as I wish it was). It's a Tarlos soulmate AU where everyone's born with a timer on their wrist, representing their soulmate's (remaining) life. The story takes off at the beginning of the show (and probably will include a somewhat rewriting/changing of season 1) when Carlos is faced with the sudden horror of the timer on his wrist hitting zero, signifying the death of his soulmate. Everything just gets more angsty and chaotic after that as the Strands arrive in Austin. (Read a sneak peek from chapter 1 here!)

Meliodas Tortured in Hell Three-Shot (Nanatsu no Taizai/ The Seven Deadly Sins; current word count: 700+ words)

“Oh…” Meliodas’ gaze finally finds his. “An illusion.” King’s blood runs cold at the statement. “Captain, no. I-”

Originally planned for Whumptober 2022's prompts: "No one's coming" + "Are you here to break me out?" + Carried to Safety + Tears. A non-canon compliant story where Meliodas, shortly after the Sins find out he's a demon, is taken to Hell on order by his father. There's lot of angst and whump, from both Meliodas and the Sins part, some torture, as well as King being forced to confront his feelings regarding Meliodas (a classic trope in my 7DS WIPs).

The Curious Case of Stoncy (Stranger Things; current word count: 200+ words)

It all started for once not with Dustin, but with Will and Mike. Of course, the real start had happened between Steve and Nancy and Jonathan and a quiet house months prior. But the kids didn’t know any of that. So, for the kids it all started with Will and Mike and a broken lamp.

Originally planned for Stoncy Week 2022 Day 7: Secret Relationship. To sum it up: Jonathan, Steve and Nancy are dating, but nobody knows. The kids don't get their relationship, especially since Jonathan and Steve apparently "can't be friends" yet are suddenly hanging out together. This all leads to the them launching a whole investigation. Things get as chaotic as you might think with that.

When the Spell Breaks (Nanatsu no Taizai; current word count: <100 words)

It was a startling realization for a king to make, but while the Seven Deadly Sins had always served him, their loyalties had never been his to claim.

Okay, not sure if this even counts as a proper WIP because this sentence is all I have so far. But this is one of the two 7DS AUs I'm most excited about (the other I wanna develop a bit more before sharing though). Basically, it's an AU where the Sins were never framed. Somewhere along the years, the Sins found out about Meliodas being a demon and agreed to keep it within the group. Then some Stuff™ happens and the secret is spilled. The kingdom reacts badly and the Sins are like screw that. They pretty much chooses Meliodas over the kingdom and willingly becomes fugitives of Liones to protect their captain. Then it goes from there.

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astupidweeb69 · 2 years

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Unrequited (Yandere! Ticci Toby x Reader) Part 4

Next Chapters: Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Links to Previous Chapters: Part 1, Part 2, & Part 3

Author's Note: I feel like this chapter sucks lol. My summer courses just ended and I had to pull a couple of all-nighters to write a 10-page research paper. So I'm VERY sleep-deprived and still recovering. But I wanted to post another chapter now since I had it planned out with a rough draft for days.

After editing it’s actually about 1,000 words longer than originally. So, damnit, I’m posting it. Cross-posted on my Ao3 account which I update quicker.

Warnings: Swearing. Non-consensual touching/groping/kissing (Technically sexual assault. But I tried not to make anything too graphic. I’m not super comfortable writing things like that, but it’s important to the plot for this specific chapter). Descriptions of gore? Also, some minor spoilers for the movie Hellraiser if you haven't seen it. (4,450 words)

********************

“You invited that guy over?”

Anne immediately snapped her head from the TV, shocked at the news. Giving you a look that could only mean ‘are you crazy?’.

Just like the two of you had agreed a couple of days ago, she had been staying over at your place to keep you company. You were feeling especially vulnerable now, so you’d only allow the presence of someone you were really close to.

That’s why when you told her about your recent development with the “weird guy” from the bookstore, it didn’t make any sense to her.

“Well, yeah… I thought maybe I’d been overly sensitive about how he was acting. Or remembering things wrong? You know I’ve been in a rough spot lately.” You sighed, cringing at the memory. “Plus, you should’ve seen how sad he looked when I tried to leave. For a second, I thought he was going to cry.”

Anne rolled her eyes. You could tell she was trying to hold back giving you a lecture.

“Don’t just hand over your phone number because you feel bad.”

A fair point.

Normally you could tell someone off if they were making you feel unsafe, hell, even throw a punch if it came to it. But if someone looked at you the way Toby had… there was something in you that had a hard time saying no.

At your lack of response, Anne continued. “And you didn’t have to give him your address too. Why didn’t you just meet him in a public place?”

Logic never failed her, you thought bitterly. Eyes drifting down to your feet, embarrassed, you prepared your stupid reasoning for putting yourself in this situation.

“I just… still don’t feel comfortable going out yet. And I wanted to show him some movies. I know it was dumb, but I’d feel more at ease doing something I enjoy in a place I’m familiar with. And remember, I said that my mind had probably been exaggerating things.”

Your friend frowned at the explanation. Sure, she’d been helping you get out a bit more, but whenever you found yourself in a rut it took more than a few days to get back to normal. You could see it pained her whenever you still refused to leave the house.

“Fine. It’s your call. Just… promise me you’ll text me the entire time, so I know you’re okay.” Anne got up from the couch and made her way to the front door. She smoothed out her short brown hair and grabbed her keys and purse.

“You’re leaving?” You asked, unclear on what her plans were for the day.

She nodded. “Yeah, my boss texted me this morning asking me if I could work the late shift. I would have told you earlier, but I didn’t realize you would be inviting Tony over. It kills me I can’t be here to make sure he doesn’t try anything.”

“Toby.” You corrected, “And don’t worry…” Flashing her a stupid grin, you lifted your arms up and jokingly flexed your muscles. “He wouldn’t stand a chance. I’ll just kick his ass to the curb if something happens.”

“Of course you will.” Anne scoffed. “Seriously though, be careful.”

With one last worried smile, she left.

After hearing her car pull out of the driveway, you started thinking about what you had just agreed to.

This was just two people getting to know each other…. right?

Hanging out as… potential friends.

That’s all.

But you couldn’t shake your doubts.

The fear beginning to resurface.

Was this a date?

Hopefully not.

You were honestly just excited you’d found someone with a similar interest, who wouldn’t flinch at excessive gore. You didn’t want to start dating now. Especially while you were still trying to recover. Walking up the stairs towards your room you thought more about Toby.

He wasn’t… ugly?

That was the nicest thing you could bring yourself to say. Any attractiveness that might’ve been felt was suppressed by how uncomfortable he made you feel. Plus, the whole time he was around you’d been avoiding looking directly at him.

The mirror in your bathroom reflected your tired face.

Date or not, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to put some effort into how you looked.

Doing your standard routine, you finally put on a cozy sweater and your favorite pair of jeans. Nothing that would make it seem like you put too much thought into it. Again, wanting to avoid sending any messages to Toby that this was going to be a romantic thing.

When you finished fixing yourself, you hurried back down to the kitchen to make your last-minute preparations.

There was a frozen pizza set out, a pile of movies to select from, and now all you had to do was wait.

***********************

It was getting dark.

That was normal this time of year, and it gave the perfect ambiance for watching films. The house was cold, so you had made sure to get plenty of blankets for the couch, trying to do anything to keep your mind occupied.

To say you felt nervous was an understatement.

As the hours crept closer to 6, your stomach began doing flips. Regretting everything leading up to this moment.

You sat on the couch flipping through channels on the TV, not paying attention. Leg bouncing up and down, you glanced at the clock on the wall for probably the 100th time in the last minute.

‘5:59’

The doorbell rang.

The remote flew out of your hand.

He was here.

You smoothed out your sweater and hesitantly walked over to greet him.

As your hand grabbed the doorknob, you took a deep breath. Before getting the chance to say hello, your senses were overwhelmed by some kind of musky fragrance.

Sandalwood and lavender?

You stifled a cough.

“Huh-hey.”

Toby stood in front of you, his hands in his pockets, hunched over, giving you an awkward smile. He wore the same black turtleneck you saw him in before and his unruly brown hair was combed in a half-ass attempt to tame it.

Apparently, he had also decided to bathe in cologne.

Okay, this guy was trying a little too hard. Shit. He probably did think this was a date then.

Trying not to panic, you smiled politely. “Nice to see you again.”

You turned to the side to let him in.

But he didn’t move.

He just kept staring.

“Uh… Do you plan on staying outside the whole time or….?”

Toby blinked, realizing he’d been spacing out. He looked like he was in a bit of a daze.

“Suh-sorry.”

He came inside and you shut the door behind him.

Both of his arms reached forwards. Baffled by the unexpected gesture, you found yourself wrapped in a vice-like grip. A bone-crushing hug that made it hard to breathe. You awkwardly patted his back, feeling his body shake all over, and warm breath fanning through your hair. You pulled away slightly to signal to him it was time to let go.

He released you slowly with a disappointed pout.

“Umm… okay… that was… nice?” You swallowed.

He tilted his head beaming with affection.

This was already off to a weird start, but you were trying to stay optimistic.

Getting a better look at him now, you noticed his face had quite a few scars on the left side. Especially leading up to the bandage covering his cheek.

You wondered what the story was there, but you weren’t going to ask. Toby was probably self-conscious about it, since the more you glanced at it, the more he started to twitch.

But now it was time to maintain the role of a considerate host. Offering drinks and food. The standard crap you always did when having guests over. Even more so when you didn’t know the person well.

You motioned your head towards the kitchen. “Follow me.”

“Have you had dinner yet? I have some frozen pizza if you want.” You grabbed the cardboard box containing the gourmet meal you planned to have that evening.

He shook his head, face grimacing involuntarily. “Nuh-no, I haven’t had any food today. I fuh-forgot to eat.”

“Damn… Well, I’ll pop this in the oven right now then. I have some snacks too you can have while we wait.” How the hell did a tall guy like Toby forget to eat for an entire day?

You couldn’t help the look of concern on your face. More so when you became aware of just how pale he was. There was almost a gray complexion to his skin that was borderline unnatural. His body wasn’t getting enough nourishment, that’s for sure.

“Here, I’ll get you some stuff to eat. Skipping meals is never good.”

With a sly grin on his face, Toby lifted an eyebrow when you began handing him bags of food from your pantry. “You’re wuh-worried about me? That’s ssss-so sweet.” He teased.

You stopped and looked over your shoulder. The man was already cornering you in the small storeroom, proving he had no grasp on the concept of personal space. Toby leaned down a bit getting closer to your face, a playful smirk crinkling the tape on his skin. Eyes drifting south for a second before snapping back up again. He wasn’t subtle.

Something you were noticing more and more with each passing moment.

It was making you grow weary, and you sure as hell didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of admitting you cared about his wellbeing. “I just don’t want you to pass out during the movie. It’s not as fun if I don’t get to see you scared.”

Toby suddenly laughed, loud enough to make you flinch.

“I don’t scuh-scare so easily.”

The way he spoke was hard to describe. It was like there was an inside joke you weren’t a part of.

Moving away from you, he stood to his full height, cracking one of his shoulders in the process.

God, he was tall.

“What muh-movie are we watchin’ anyway?” Toby tilted his head, smiling down at you with an uncharacteristically boyish charm.

Your heart fluttered for a split second. “I – uh – picked out some we can choose from.”

You gritted your teeth, annoyed you let yourself be charmed. If only for a moment.

When you finished placing the pizza in the preheated oven, you lazily waved your hand for Toby to follow you to the living room.

The man was constantly at your heels, occasionally bumping into your body and muttering a quick “sorry” under his breath. You would’ve assumed it was an accident if it hadn’t been for the few times his hand lightly grazed your ass. Even when he wasn’t putting on his little “clumsy” façade, you could still feel him raking in your entire shape.

It was terrible.

On the coffee table, there were four movies you had laid out as options. ‘Alien’, ‘The Shining’, ‘The Evil Dead’, and ‘Hellraiser’.

“Any pique your interest? We can always watch something else; I’ve got plenty more options. I just figured we could start with some classics.”

Toby scanned the cover art of each case, twitching fingers turning them over, pausing on some of the more disturbing pictures on them.

“Hmmm… Huh-how about Hellraiser?” He glanced over at you with uncertainty.

You grabbed the movie beaming, “Great choice! The special effects are incredible in this one, Bob Keen is an amazing designer.” Putting on your best Pinhead impression, you added “We'll tear your soul apart!”

He looked at you confused but seemed entertained by your cartoonish attempt to sound intimidating.

“Pinhead? From the movie?” You felt your cheeks warm up.

He snorted. “I duh-don’t know what that is. But it sounds cool.”

Rubbing the back of your head, you shrugged. “Well, you’re in luck I guess… you’ll get to see the guy soon enough. I don’t exactly do the character any justice.”

“Suh-sooo… How bloody is this movie?” Toby asked.

You raised a brow, the way he said the question was weird. “I mean… there’s a lot, and it can be unnerving for most people…”

He put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing slightly. You flinched.

“Wuh-well… if I get scared, promise you’ll comfort me?”

Okay… gross.

You were going to pretend it was a joke, even though you knew it wasn’t.

You looked up at him with a fake overly enthusiastic grin, “Nope!”

Quickly opening the DVD player, you place the movie in the slot. Sitting on the couch with a bag of chips, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, the weight of the couch shifted as Toby joined you.

************************************

He was too close.

It was fifteen minutes into the movie, and the whole time Toby had slowly inched closer.

His breath was heavy, shoulder pressing into yours. It was obvious his face was completely flushed; the sickly gray paleness of his skin wasn’t hiding it.

Every time he made contact with your skin his body reacted like he had run a marathon, with loud panting and red cheeks.

Under the blanket you shared, you could feel his clammy hand twitching for a touch. Once in a while he’d graze a finger on your thigh, knee, or hand.

He was always moving like he couldn’t sit still. You had a couple guesses as to why. It’s not like you were born yesterday. But it still made you nauseous to think about.

All you wanted was to watch this damn movie in peace and Toby clearly had other things on his mind.

Plus, the many attempts you made to create some distance between the two of you proved pointless. Toby would instantly ‘adjust’ his position to close the gap again. It was like fighting a losing battle.

You didn’t even know what was happening in the plot right now. The only reason you could piece things together was that you’ve seen the movie before.

His hand started making another daring journey for a part of your body. Toby once again ‘adjusting’, you could feel the tips of his fingers make their way slowly towards your ass. Of course. At this point nothing surprised you.

Ding!

The timer in the kitchen went off.

The pizza was done.

Thank God.

“Dinner’s ready!” You shot up from your seat, pausing the moving, feeling grateful to finally have room to breathe. To not have Toby’s hands swarming all over you.

As you almost sprinted to the oven, the man of the hour didn’t hesitate to trail behind. Like he was attached to your hip.

Cutting the pizza, you could feel him observing you with every movement. Looking over your shoulder and taking a step closer whenever he felt like you wouldn’t notice. You always did.

You set two slices on plates and turned around to give him his food.

He immediately tried to grab it, but his arm unexpectedly jerked to the side, instead knocking it out of your hands, ceramic scattering all over.

“FUCK!”

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I’m suh-sorry!”

Toby yelled in frustration.

You jumped, trying to move away as you witnessed his outburst. What the fuck was happening?

He pulled painfully tight on the ends of his hair. Completely freaking out with a disturbing amount of anger.

It wasn’t directed at you, but it was still frightening. You were alone with a 6-foot-something man that was flipping the hell out. Over something so trivial too.

“I-it’s okay Toby! Really!” You tried to calm him down.

But it was like he couldn’t hear you. Toby continued to glare down at the mess, tearing at his scalp.

What was someone supposed to do in a situation like this?

You knew you had to do something.

Carefully, you placed your hands over his.

God, you hoped this would work. It felt weird to touch him, but you’d try anything to not have to watch someone hurt themselves.

Feeling your fingers delicately wrap around his, Toby stopped. His gaze met yours, and you were taken aback by the dreamy expression he looked at you with. It was like his emotions did a complete 180. It concerned you, realizing that at any moment he could have another intense reaction to something that was normal.

And did he misinterpret your intentions? All you were trying to do was make him stop pulling out his hair. But he looked at you with such passion now. It almost felt predatory if you were being completely honest.

With his body now relaxing, he let out a shaky sigh. “I guh-guess I overreacted, huh?”

Understatement of the year.

“Yeah, I guess. I thought you were going to make yourself bald.” Maybe if you made light of the situation, you could just get this evening over with.

You prepared him a new slice, this time grabbing both plates, and walked back to the living room.

*******************************

Every time he took a bite his bandage moved, the greasy food loosening the adhesive that kept it in place. It started to slide up, a visible redness underneath.

You couldn’t help but stare.

Thank God he didn’t notice.

Toby was fully focused on the movie now that the plot had begun picking up the pace. Especially when the Cenobites appeared. But his reactions were disappointing. He never jumped or looked afraid the entire time. Hell, you would even settle for a small look of disgust when a body got ripped to shreds.

In fact, he had the complete opposite response. He laughed or snickered when someone was hurt. It was kind of off-putting. Sure, it wasn’t uncommon for you and your friends to joke around while watching scary movies, but this was different. What he was doing didn’t feel like a joke.

Saying things like “Take that fucker!” When one of Julia’s victims she lured into her house with the promise of sex got their head caved in with a hammer. Then making a joke about how she “nailed” him.

Or grinning and laughing like a maniac when the Cenobite’s hooks tore through a person. He even chuckled when the final girl Kristy cried over the death of her father.

It wasn’t in good fun.

Luckily, the movie was down to the last 20 minutes. Even if you ignored the content of Toby’s words, the fact that he kept interrupting and talking through the whole movie made it hard to enjoy. It was like he was totally unsympathetic.

This had been one big mistake on your part, and now you just wanted to go to bed.

Toby shifted in his seat, arm slowly slithering its way around the back of your neck.

Your breath hitched. Not again.

This was way more forward than he had been before.

Was he seriously making a move on you?

You felt paralyzed as his arm settled around your shoulders. His hand gripped your side tightly, bringing you closer.

This was bad.

Maybe if you waited a little longer, he would stop once the movie finished. So, your plan was to concentrate hard on the TV and refuse to acknowledge the situation. Stupid, but it might work.

Toby twisted his head fully in your direction.

He wanted you to look at him. This wasn’t a side glance hoping you wouldn’t notice like he had been doing the whole night. No, he was intentionally letting you know his focus was now on you and you alone.

You weren’t falling for his little trap. Absolutely not.

However, when you still didn’t face him, his fingers glided up more on your waist, grip settling on the side of your chest.

Before getting time to process the change, his hand started massaging your breast.

Your eyes widened.

Oh shit.

You swiftly turned, at last getting a full look at how red the man was. His eyes lidded and mouth parted slightly.

“Toby, please sto-“

He lunged forward.

No warning.

Mouth crashing into yours in desperation.

On your back, arms pinned above your head, you tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

But he didn’t notice. Or didn’t care. He was too preoccupied trying to shove his tongue down your throat.

The warm muscle twisting and exploring every surface of your mouth. His saliva mixed with yours. It tasted like blood.

You felt sick.

The cotton texture of his bandage rubbed against your skin as he continued assaulting your lips. The adhesive having no hold left on his skin, it finally slipped off.

Skin textured and flaky, scabs and blood-encrusted tissue. All leading to the gaping tear on his face, you could see the back of his molars and his tongue lapping against the side of his mouth.

You let out a muffled scream.

In a frenzy, you bit down on his tongue as hard as you could. He didn’t flinch, instead, he furrowed his brows and slowly released his lips from yours. Shit, he must have one hell of a high pain tolerance.

You gasped for air. Visibly shaking, tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes.

Toby’s body hovered over yours, perplexed by your current state. As if he was oblivious to what he just subjected you to.

It brought back too many memories. That feeling of powerlessness. Knowing that you had been physically incapable of stopping him. Anger raged through your system. All you could think about was decking him.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

You shouted, despite knowing how unpredictable the man in front of you was. But you couldn’t help it. This wasn’t just about Toby anymore. Or even his horrifying scar, although that had certainly not helped.

At the reminder, your eyes flickered back to that hole in Toby’s cheek. No amount of scary movies or practical effects could ever prepare you for something like this.

That was his face.

This was all real.

A part of you was disgusted by it, another part morbidly curious.

Were you a little desensitized? Probably. But your current outburst wasn’t about that, if anything seeing a person with a wound like that just made you want to take them to a hospital. Or at the bare minimum ask if they were okay.

At this point, it must have dawned on him that his mouth was completely exposed. You’d been glaring at it for a while as you tried to regain your composure.

Toby smacked his hand over the gash mortified. He jumped to his feet and backed away from the couch, shamefully hiding his face.

“FUH-FUCK! I-I….”

He couldn’t get a clear sentence out. His body shook and cracked; it was like every one of his muscles started to spasm at once.

You almost felt pity.

Almost.

This was the last straw. You couldn’t take it. You had been going through enough as it was in your personal life and with all of tonight’s events piling on top of everything, it was too damn much.

Through gritted teeth, you cut off his ramble, “Listen! I don’t give a flying fuck about your face! Sure, is it concerning? Yes! Do I think you should seek medical treatment? Most definitely! But right now I’m fucking livid that you just pounced on me without asking!”

You rose from your seat. You might have been shorter than him, but you didn’t care. You walked right up to the man, looking him dead in the eyes. A reckless move on your part, having far more courage than sense.

“I’ve been really patient with you tonight, Toby. I’ve ignored your outbursts. I tried to ignore your unwanted touches. But I won’t just sit here and pretend that it’s fine for you to pin me down and have your way with me. Fuck that.”

Toby’s body went still. Looking down at you in shock. Probably not expecting a full-on confrontation from you. You had put on an understanding, almost to the point of being a pushover, attitude the entire night. But everyone has their limits.

Toby’s initial surprise didn’t last long before you could see things were about to take a dark turn.

Now his eyes were narrowed, his expression forming into a scowl.

He removed his hand from his face and tilted his chin up, glaring down. Reminding you how much bigger he was in comparison.

Your body screamed at you to back away. A primal instinct letting you know that the thing in front of you was dangerous. A predator. Your senses being proved right all along.

But you didn’t listen now. You refused. You’d let people like him get their way so much in your life, and you had promised to yourself you wouldn’t let that happen again.

Instead, you took a step forward. Challenging him.

If he could act scary, so could you. You may have been smaller, but what the hell did he know about you? You’ve stood up to people his size before, and you’d do it again.

He smirked at this. Finding your act of bravery amusing. But his eyes still held their threatening aura.

“Suh-so… let me get this straight. You’ve just been tolerating me the whole time? Then why were you acting all coy when I tuh-touched you? Why did you hold my hands earlier? And why are you always too shy to look at muh-me? Hmmm?” He batted his lashes, bringing his face towards you condescendingly.

Did he really think he just won the argument?

What a jackass.

This was some grade-A manipulative bullshit, and you weren’t going to stand for it.

“You’re such a fucking prick! Have you ever thought I was just trying to be nice because I was afraid?! No! Of course you wouldn’t! And if I tell you I didn’t want to touch you, you can’t just disagree with me! It’s not up for debate, asshole!” You fumed, hands forming into fists.

Toby raised a brow, opening his mouth to say something.

“No.” You hissed. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

He blinked, seeing you point towards the door. If he stayed any longer, you’d take a swing at him. You hadn’t been this pissed in years.

But it was nothing compared to how Toby’s face contorted in wrath. A glimpse of madness in his eyes you hadn’t seen before.

“Make me.”

It was a growl. Utterly inhuman.

Neither one of you moved.

A beam of light suddenly glared through the windows.

Anne was back.

Toby noticed too and was the first to back away. “All ruh-right. You want me to go? I’ll go.”

He stomped over to the front door, opening it to leave.

But not before turning around one last time.

“You’ll be seeing me again soon, (Y/N).”

#creepypasta #ticci toby #toby rogers #ticci toby x reader #x reader #yandere #toby rogers x reader #yandere creepypasta #yandere ticci toby #fanfiction #yandere creepypasta x reader #my writing #horror #obsessive behavior #yandere ticci toby x reader

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the-storming-sea · 3 years

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Ok so I was going to put this after my last vague “aizawa critical” post but then my computer fucked around and then I decided that actually I wanted this to be its own post.

So today we’re going to be looking at fics tagged under All Might (or All Might related tags) and Aizawa (or Aizawa related tags).

Let’s also assume that for every Additional Tag being listed here, 1% of what should belong in that tag isn’t – i.e., for every 100 fics tagged with an Additional Tag, there is 1 fic that should be included that wasn’t properly tagged, hence there are actually 101 fics with that additional tag. If there are numbers below 100, I’ll just add 1 to the count. If there are decimals I’ll round them up.

For simplicity’s sake, we’ll also attempt to account fo fics that overlap between tags by making the lower bound of the total count the highest number of fics in any given tag

I am also aware that some fics that are tagged with Additional Tags are not tagged with the character they mention. I am also aware that some fics tagged with the character they mention don’t actually include that character or that character is in a very minor role (for example there are 1,022 fics that are tagged “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing” but only 670 of those fics are tagged with his character tag). Every fic tagged with an Additional Tag listed here has that character in a prominent/meaningful role. Therefore, let’s assume they all balance each other out

Anyways. Let me lay down some AO3, All Might and Aizawa fic statistics. Gonna put a read more under this bc this post gets long.

Negative tags are under “x bashing” or “x being an asshole”. These are the most popular ‘negative’ fan tags.

Let’s start with All Might.

There are 33,227 total works under the “Yagi Toshinori | All Might” tag.

1,022 to 1,033 or 3.0 to 3.1% of works that feature All Might as a prominent character are tagged under “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing”

317 to 321 or 1% of works that feature All Might as a prominent character are tagged under “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Asshole”

This leads to a total of 1,022 to 1,354 or 3.0 to 4.1% of total fics that are All Might Critical/Bashing, give or take. In easier to understand terms, in every 24 to 32 All Might fics, there is 1 fic that is tagged “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing” and/or “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Asshole”

Seems little, right? I mean, it’s only 4.1% of fics at the very most. And its 24 to 32 regular fics with 1 negative fic. Why am I making a big deal out of this?

Now we turn to Aizawa.

There are 51,759 total works under the “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead” tag.

33 to 34 or 0.06% of works that feature Aizawa as a prominent character are tagged under “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Bashing”

20 to 21 or 0.038 to 0.04% of works that feature Aizawa as a prominent character are tagged under “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Being an Asshole”

As an added bonus, 57 to 58 or 0.1% of works that feature Aizawa as a prominent character are tagged under “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead is a Bad Teacher”

This leads to a total of 57 to 113 or 0.12 to 0.24% of total fics that are Aizawa Critical/Bashing, give or take. In easier to understand terms, in every 458 to 908 Aizawa fics, there is 1 fic that is tagged “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Bashing” and/or “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Being an Asshole”

(I didn’t add Yagi Toshinori | All Might is a Bad Teacher to my All Might calculations because he’s canonically a bad teacher, while Aizawa’s recognized as being a good teacher in canon, so stories about him being a bad teacher aren’t necessarily negative/bashing. If you’d like to know, there are about 350 to 351 works that feature All Might as a prominent character, or about 1%)

This means that literally and percentage-wise in relation to their total amount of fics, All Might has significantly more negative fics about him than Aizawa, despite the fact that there are more existing Aizawa fics. At the very most, all of the negative Aizawa fics INCLUDING the bad teacher fics barely make up 11% of the fics under just the “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing” tag alone. And that’s a generous estimate of Aizawa’s fics not counting the bashing fics that aren’t tagged.

To put it into perspective, there are 20 fics shown within one AO3 page. That would mean there is at least 1 “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing” and/or “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Asshole” fic every other page. Meanwhile it would take 22 pages at the very LEAST before you could find a fic tagged “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Bashing” and/or “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Being an Asshole”, and at the very most 46 pages.

Okay but “so what”, you might say. Maybe All Might tags have more positive fics than Aizawa does – if not literally, than maybe percentage-wise. Just because there are a lot of All Might bashing fics doesn’t mean there are less All Might positive fics

This is admittedly harder to research for, as there is no explicit “x is a good person” tag for them, so we’ll go with tags that positively talk about their designated role in the series. Positive tags (for these two particular characters) are under “Parental x” and “x is a Good Teacher”, since those tags are the most popular, and tend to be more completely positive for those two characters and since their main roles in the story are being parental figures and teachers.

3,844 to 4,229 or 11 to 13% of works that feature All Might as a prominent character are tagged under “Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might”

81 to 82 or 0.24% of works that feature All Might as a prominent character are tagged under “Yagi Toshinori | All Might is a Good Teacher”

This leads to a total of 3,844 to 4,311 or 11 to 13% of total fics that are All Might positive, give or take. In easier to understand terms, for every 7 to 8 All Might fics, there is 1 fic that is tagged “Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might” and/or “Yagi Toshinori | All Might is a Good Teacher”

Now for Aizawa

10,836 to 11,920 or 21 to 23% of works that feature Aizawa as a prominent character are tagged under “Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead”

447 to 452 or 0.86 to 0.87% of works that feature Aizawa as a prominent character are tagged under “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead is a Good Teacher”

This leads to a total of 10,836 to 12,372 or 21 to 24% of total fics that are Aizawa positive, give or take. In easier to understand terms, for every 4 Aizawa fics, there is 1 fic that is tagged “Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead” and/or “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead is a Good Teacher”.

And again, to put it into perspective, that would mean there are 2 “Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might” and/or “Yagi Toshinori | All Might is a Good Teacher” fics in every page. Meanwhile there are 5 “Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead” and/or “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead is a Good Teacher” fics every page.

This means that the proportion of positive Aizawa fics in the Aizawa tag is significantly greater than the proportion of positive All Might fics in the All Might tag, and it is certainly significantly greater than the amount of negative Aizawa that exist in general (seriously – 58 negative Aizawa fics at the very most to 10,836 positive Aizawa fics at the very least is nothing. That’s 0.05%)

Bonus facts:

41% of the “Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might” are also tagged “Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead”. That means only 2,270 of those fics are dedicated to “Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might” without them being added to or possibly overshadowed by Aizawa, or for every 2 “Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might” fics there is 1 fic also tagged with “Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead”.

“Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might” only takes up 14% of the “Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead” tag.

There are actually more “Parental Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic” fics in the “Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead” tag than All Might (2,620 or 24%). That’s still proportionally less than the amount of “Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might” fics that share a tag with the“Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead” tag.

In the “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing” tag, the other additional tag with the highest number of fics is the “Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead” tag with 433 fics. That is 42% of all fics in the “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing” tag, meaning 1 out of every 2 All Might bashing fics double as an Aizawa positive fic

In the “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Asshole” tag, the other additional tag with the highest number of fics is the “Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead” tag with 136 fics. That is 43% of all fics in the “Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Asshole” tag, meaning 1 out of every 2 All Might asshole fics double as Aizawa positive fic.

If there are 1,354 negative All Might fics, and 4,311 positive All Might fics, that means that for every 4 positive All Might fics, there is 1 negative All Might fic, give or take.

In the “Yagi Toshinori | All Might” tag, aside from the “Midoriya Izuku & Yagi Toshinori | All Might” relationship tag (which makes sense because they have a canon relationship those two are the main characters with the biggest relationship aside from Midoriya and Bakugo’s relationship), there are 5 relationship tags before the first mentioned relationship tag with All Might (Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yagi Toshinori | All Might).

Aizawa’s relationships with Yamada and Midoriya are the first two relationship tags, even though Aizawa doesn’t have a romantic relationship with Yamada and Aizawa has much of a relationship with Midoriya as he does the rest of Midoriya’s class.

There are more “Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Midoriya Izuku” (5,918) fics than there are “Midoriya Izuku & Yagi Toshinori | All Might” (4,473) fics even though, again, “Midoriya Izuku & Yagi Toshinori | All Might” is actually canon. That’s a 1,445 fic difference.

And even accounting for fics that overlap between the positive and negative tags, fics that are joking, fics that aren’t tagged their respective tag, fics tagged with a similar but not the same tag, or fics that are just one-shots put into one large continuous fic doesn’t even matter.

Ultimately this wouldn’t even matter if Aizawa was supposed to be the supportive good dad figure while All Might was supposed to have a minor, slightly antagonistic role. But the fact is, is that it’s the complete opposite in canon. Aizawa has a pretty minor role, his role only upping with the backstory of Kurogiri, while All Might was the third side character introduced and has remained a support for Midoriya (the main fucking character) since the very first volume to now.

Aizawa was originally very antagonistic towards Midoriya, hell he threatened to expel him on the first day and then plays it off as a joke. Meanwhile, All Might apologizes to Midoriya for underestimating him and looking down at him the first day they meet.

All Might is flawed, yes, but that’s how his character is written. Yes people acknowledge he is the best and Number 1 hero, but that doesn’t change the fact that multiple characters, including All Might himself, acknowledge that he’s flawed and makes terrible mistakes and then tries to do better.

Meanwhile Aizawa’s thinking and actions have been very flawed this entire story (I mean Bakugo should have been expelled at this point even before Kamino, along with Mineta and maybe Kaminari to give them ‘death’) and he’s never been proven wrong. Even All Might butters him up by calling him nice.

And again. I love Aizawa as a character. But fanon Aizawa and fanon All Might and how they’re written in fics are very different from their canon counterparts and I wish people would acknowledge it. Or at least acknowledge that All Might is bashed too much and Aizawa is praised too much as well

#thestormingsea posts #aizawa critical #all might #yagi toshinori #toshinori yagi #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #look man im tired #this isn't a negative aizawa post thiis is more like stop writing shit all might takes and fanon aizawa #again i still love the guy #can't STRESS THIS ENOUGH #but bro im tired

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screadingchallenge · 2 years

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Behind the Keyboard: Volume 8

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

Remember, this year’s Reading Challenge begins July 15, so polish up those MFL lists.

Let’s meet our next author:

rosedavid (driftingskies237) / @rosedavid

How many fics have you written?

35 for Schitt’s Creek (Only including the ones that are actually published)

When did you publish your first fic on AO3?

My first ever fic on AO3 was published January 2, 2018. My first Schitt’s Creek fic was published April 1, 2021.

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3.

I’m that person who comes up with a new idea like everyday lol. I think it really depends on the fic, but in general, I’ll start writing with no plan in place. I just like getting some words on the page before I lose motivation. I worry about where it’s going later. I usually start writing from the beginning of a fic because I prefer going in chronological order. Sometimes, I’ll skip around to the parts where I know what I want to write, though. Then, I think about how I can bridge what I’ve written together and make it sound somewhat coherent.

If I get stuck (which I often do), I talk to my friends in the GC about ideas on where to go and get their opinions on it so far. Also, talking to people usually sparks my motivation again enough to finish it. Then, depending on the fic, I get some of them to be betas (thank you endlessly to them again for all of their help). I pretty much always save the title and summary for last because I always struggle with those haha.

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

My most recent fic is a little more warmth, and it was a birthday fic for one of the great friends I’ve made in this fandom! It’s a 5+2 format (5 times someone else wears David’s clothes + 2 times David wears Patrick’s). I’ve always loved 5+1 formats, and this was the first one I’ve done! I really liked how the format worked for this story in particular, and I learned that I definitely love writing in this style. My favorite part about writing this was just the soft emotions of it all and being able to explore David’s relationships through a different avenue. I think I could have spent more time editing/making it flow better, but since it was a birthday fic, I was on a timeline.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

Go for it!! I know it can be intimidating posting to a new fandom (or just posting for the first time in general), but I’ve always been so amazed by how supportive readers are, especially toward new writers! Also, write for yourself first and foremost! Fanfiction isn’t a job, it’s sharing what we love. It shouldn’t be a chore or something you don’t want to do. Don’t feel guilty about not updating or taking a break at any time.

Plot vs vibes - pick one.

Vibes for sure. Plotting is hard. As someone who is in the middle of a long, plotted fic, I much prefer just writing vibes without worrying about plot. I like going right into the feelings. I love reading both types, though, and I have so much respect for very plot-driven fics.

Alexis is trapped in a drug lord’s palace and you have to convince her captors to read your fic in order to free her. What’s your best sales pitch for your favorite fic?

Uh-oh! I’m not sure Alexis will be freed because I’m terrible at sales pitches…but here goes nothing:

Patrick is an aspiring actor living in L.A. David is a pianist who has dreams of opening up his own piano bar. When Patrick hears David playing one night, he’s enamoured, but that quickly goes away when he finds out what a jerk David is. But of course, that’s just the beginning. Find out what happens next in my Schitt’s Creek La La Land AU: you never shined so brightly.

What is your comfort fic?

Oh wow, I mean I have so many! But I’ll just pick the first one that comes to mind which is the Sweet Caffeine series by @maxbegone . I remember this was one of the first full AUs I read in the fandom that really had a lasting impact on me. It’s so beautifully done, and I really want to reread it (again) soon!!

Do you remember the first SC fic you ever read?

I didn’t remember off the top of my head, so I decided to look through my AO3 history to find it! I do remember I started reading fanfic for SC before I finished the show, so I made sure to read fics that didn’t give away spoilers (fics released before the next episode). What I discovered is that I started reading fanfic right after episode 4x09 (The Olive Branch), so keeping that in mind, all of my first fics are 4x09 continuations. But my very first one appears to be:

I Hang on Every Word You Say by undersail2013

What’s the best advice anyone has ever given you about writing?

If you get stuck, take a break and come back to it. You would not believe how long I’ve sat agonising over something I’m writing only to stop, come back later, and immediately be able to write it. Another thing to do if you’re stuck: Just skip it. Get to a part you know you can write, then come back later and write what you skipped.

A lot of times, simpler is better. If you’re like me, you may want to use lots of big words and fancy descriptions to sound like a more professional writer. I was guilty of this for a long time, but I came to learn that more doesn’t always equal better. Readers can get bogged down by long, winding passages with fancy vocabulary words and synonyms. Like anything, it’s a balance, but in general, keep it simple.

Lots of people have lots of differing opinions on what to do/not to do when you’re writing. While it’s important to take suggestions into consideration to improve your writing, everyone has their own writing styles. For example, I’ve heard lots of writers say that you should never use adverbs, and while I agree that many times there are better descriptors than adverbs, you don’t need to be going through your work and cutting out every single one you see. Be more aware of your writing and how to improve it, but don’t take anyone’s word (including mine) as law when it comes to preferences toward writing style.

#behind the keyboard #meet the authors #sc fic reading challenge #sc reading challenge #sc fanfic #schitt's creek #schitts creek

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phantom-of-the-ruckus · 3 years

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All about me!

My actual name: Ivanna

My preferred nicknames: Evie, Dedde, and Deedz, your friendly watermelon aunt! (AO3 is Mrs.Watermelon993, so there’s the nick name.)

My ethnicity: Latina (I’m Colombian), I also come from the Watermelandia.

My favortite animal: Giraffes

My favorite flavor: Mint with chocolate (A combination made in Heaven)

Two things about me:

I’m actually a biscuit

I’m a very shy person

Yo hablo Español and English fluently. Je parle un peu français mais je ne sais pas beaucoup

My hobbies include:

Reading, writing, getting anxious for writing and not writing, never actually finishing half my stories, randomly going into hiatuses because I got unmotivated or sad, watching youtube, making fannart and fanfics, feeling down because I have self-steem issues and tell myself I am not good enough, making self-depricating jokes because I don’t like to take myself quite seriously.

I identify my Hogwarts’ house as : Slytherin!

Combined house is: Slytherpuff

My favorite ships oven are the ones that people hate the most and made me look like a crazy person

I’m a cat person but I like doggos as well.

I do like to do fannart but post it on rare occasions.

My DA, Tumblr, and AO3 accounts have different names because having a single name is just quite boring for me.

My favorite movies are mostly animated classics, from independent animation studious, thrillers, maybe horror movies, and fun comedies (I’ll say between light-hearted and kind of obscure)

I have a tendency to write a lot.

I like to analyze characters.

I’m an introvert and I get really overwhelmed if I try to interact once with someone but it is all worth it for me.

I like to reblog things that I like or find quite funny. I’m not very active in many of my accounts due to personal time and not really being into fandoms, but I often like to occasionally post things about characters or things I love.

I’m also the creator of probably quite a controversial ship in the EOA community, but I just found that stupid idea of a younger me increasing and meeting people who like it as well as quite awesome. No worries, I love to have an open mind and talk to others with kindness.

About this blog:

Hello Jello, my fellow Jellybeans and Watermelorians! This is your watermelon aunt speaking. It doesn’t matter your age, where you're from, or even your orientation, what you identify as or like. I’m here to be your big, little sister, friend, or your watermelon aunt! Whatever you need (Don’t take it too literal plz) I’m here to help!

I love to meet other people and have conversations and joke around the things we like. I try to be open-minded as possible, so take this place to just hang around, seek for some comfort, or just joke around about silly things. I’m all for not taking yourself seriously at times, but also be willing to help those who need you the most. Love and kindness can make the world a better place, so I think we should spread it around!

I got a couple of rules though:

1. Hate, harassment, and bullying will not be tolerated here. This and my other accounts (DA and AO3. Lost my FF due to my email not working) are a safe and open space for other people to feel safe and have fun.

2. Try to keep it as friendly as possible for others. I’m ok if you got a little high rated ideas, or things (as long as is not NSFW pictures. Sorry babies) but there can be people who can be quite sensitive to this.

3. Have fun! I love to do and learn about new things or fandoms. Feel free to give me the weirdest questions or prompts, I love doing weird stuff from time to time!

#Deedz talks about herself #shy watermelon aunt #lots of fandoms but I often get asked about one #I guess I'm a creepy lady :P

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starshine583 · 3 years

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New Girl on the Block (23)

(Welp, y’all, this is it. This is the last, pre-written chapter that I have written. From here on out we’re gonna have to rely strictly on my writing consistency and... I’m so sorry for that lol Because CLEARLY, if we’re on the last pre-written chapter, after having posted, like, three over the last month, we know that this isn’t gonna be good. BUT! I do have THIS chapter to give you! So please enjoy! And don’t forget to check out the mini series connected to this called Journal Entries!)

Ch.1 / Ch.22 / Ch.24 (ao3)

Chapter 23: How the Cards Fall

Marinette stared in horror at her former classmates, violently kicking herself for being so reckless. How could she forget that this was one of Alya and Nino’s favorite food carts too? She used to eat there with them all the time! She should have known better than to pick this place! Actually, she shouldn’t have picked anywhere to eat at all! Going to a place she used to enjoy meant going to a place where she used to hang out with her old friends, which meant eventually running into them, which meant- well - this! Oh, how could she be so stupid?

Maybe it won’t be so bad, she reasoned with herself before she could start hyperventilating. Maybe they’ll just roll their eyes and leave instead of making a scene.

But Alya was never one to back down from a (accidental) challenge. As soon as she realized her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, a scowl etched itself onto her lips, and she started stomping in Marinette’s direction.

“It is you!” The red-head scoffed. “Oh, when I get my hands on you-”

Marinette flinched back, officially throwing breathing out the window. She looked at her current classmates and wondered what they would do if she ran, what they would think. Would they follow her or would they stay and talk with Alya? What if they started asking questions that Marinette couldn’t answer? What if Alya answered the questions before she could? Would they believe her? Was she going to have to find a new school again? What if Lila’s lies followed her there too? What if she never escaped Lila’s claims?

Suddenly, not breathing turned into breathing too fast, but before she could spiral further than gasping, a shadow passed over her.

It was Allan and Claude, coming to stand in front of her as a defense.

“Hey, woah!” Claude said, holding up his hands in a calming gesture. “Why don’t you back off a bit and tell us what’s got you so upset?”

A hand touched her shoulder lightly, and Marinette’s gaze snapped to Felix, who was now standing next to her. He met her eyes with a subtle raise of the eyebrows, and she knew what it meant.

“Are you alright?”

Marinette drew in a deep breath to steady herself and nodded, even though her insides felt like they were turning outwards at this point. Felix must have seen through her fib because his hand stayed on her shoulder as he looked back at Alya. His eyebrows were furrowed, which could be from his concern, but Marinette also knew curiosity when she saw it. He wants to know who these people are, and why they’re angry with her. And after everything she’s told him about her old school, he might be able to figure it out.

Alya briefly paused at the boys’ blockade, before raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.

“So is this who you’re hiding behind now?” She asked, unimpressed. “Are these the new people you’ve managed to dupe?”

Marinette tensed, and Felix’s grip tightened on her shoulder. Whether that was a sign of support or his disgruntlement, she wasn’t sure.

“Are we supposed to know what that means?” Allegra, who had also come to stand next to Marinette, drawled.

“No.” Alya said. “Not yet, anyway. This one likes to wait until you’re in pretty deep before springing her trap.”

Marinette bit her lip, indignation rising in her chest. She didn’t deserve this. She hasn’t done anything wrong!

“Alya, that’s enough-” She tried to say, but Alya cut her off.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” The red-head snapped. “You don’t get to have a say anymore, not unless you’re willing to admit what you’ve done, what you really are.”

“Alya, come on.” Nino, who finally decided to join the conversation, coaxed. “L-Let’s just go. It’s not worth fighting over.”

Marinette might have been grateful had he not backed down right after when Alya shot him a glare.

“I’m going to assume you guys are her new classmates and friends.” Alya continued. “So let me tell you, as a former classmate and best friend, that this girl,” she pointed her finger accusingly at Marinette, “is a fraud.”

“That’s not true!” Marinette couldn’t help shouting.

Alya ignored her. “She makes herself look sweet and innocent by making you croissants or cookies and bringing you handmade gifts, but it’s all an act. All she really wants is the attention that the gifts bring, and when she doesn’t get it, she goes ballistic. I used to think she was the best thing in the world until a foreign exchange student came along and became more popular. Then she started stealing that person’s homework and ripping it up, or throwing her textbooks in the trash, or even tripping her down flights of stairs. One time we even caught her stealing personal items!”

“I didn’t do any of that!” Marinette insisted, more so to her friends than to Alya. “I told you she framed me!”

Alya scoffed. “You can’t even deny it anymore! Lila has all of the rude texts you’ve sent her, there were multiple witnesses to the tattered homework that was on your desk- myself included -and we all saw her take her family heirloom out of your locker.”

“That wasn’t a family heirloom! She literally bought that in a store two months before and then put it in my locker to frame me!”

Alya rolled her eyes and turned back to Claude and Allan. “Obviously, she’s going to make up whatever excuse she can to keep you from listening to me, but I advise you to dump her now while you can. She’ll make your life a living nightmare if she thinks you’re better than her somehow, though at this point,” Alya shot Marinette another scalding glare, “we all are.”

Tears burned in the corner of Marinette’s eyes, but before she could further argue her innocence, Claude spoke up.

“Ok, so what proof do you have of this?”

It was something she’d expected Felix to ask, honestly, and it left her staring at the brunette in shock. He was.. asking questions. The right questions. He wasn’t taking Alya’s words as gospel the way everyone else at Dupont had done with Lila’s words.

Alya frowned. “I already told you-”

“No, I don’t care about what you’ve said.” Claude interrupted. “You’re a stranger I just met, and Marinette is a good friend that I’ve known for a wonderful month and a half. I’m going to need more than your word.”

Alya narrowed her eyes at him, debating.

“Alright, fine. I’ll bring Lila here as a first hand account. She has the texts saved on her phone. As for the homework and such, those have already been replaced and done away with, but I do have the class president binder where several important forms are missing from Marinette burning them instead of giving them to Lila after leaving.”

Marinette had to bite her tongue to avoid laughing despite herself. Lila said that she burned some of the class papers? What would make her lie about something like that? Was it to get out of the work? Oh, boy, was that going to come back to bite her. She probably had to resign all of the ‘missing’ paperwork! Oh, this is the greatest thing Marinette’s ever heard. Hopefully, she said she lost a lot.

“Do you have the burnt papers?” Allan asked.

“No, of course not-”

“So, let me see if I’ve got this right,” Allegra said, her voice edging on annoyance, “we’re supposed to believe the account of a foreign exchange student, who we also don’t know, and who, apparently, brought out the worst in Marinette by herself even though no one had ever done so before, and the only actual proof you have, other than that girl’s word, is a series of texts that can easily be altered and a binder with some missing pages that ‘Lila’ could have misplaced or even burned herself. Is that correct?”

Alya scoffed. “You’re making it sound ridiculous.”

“No, I’m repeating what you’ve said to us, which is ridiculous.”

“She’s done other things too!” Alya insisted. “Just the other day she met up with one of my other friends and tried to persuade them into her clutches again, even though she had already transferred schools. Look-”

Alya pulled out her phone, and for once, Marinette looked on with interest as well. Lila making up a lie like that meant someone had to be going against her now, right? So who was it? Did someone mention Marinette’s name in an argument, and now Lila’s latching onto that as an advantage?

After a minute of searching, Alya flipped her phone around for them to see her screen, and the picture displayed on it made Marinette’s stomach drop.

“Woah, is that Adrien Agreste?”

The group, aside from Felix, leaned forward to see the picture better, but Marinette found herself leaning back, the blood draining from her features. That was a picture of her and Adrien at the café last Friday, but- but how did- when could they have possibly-

“Where did you get that?” She blurted out before she could stop herself.

Alya fixed her with a smug grin. “Look familiar? Lila took this while you and Adrien were having lunch last week. I’d been wondering why he was asking her so many questions about her stories, but now it all makes sense. You’ve been secretly coaxing him to your side again, and poor Adrien couldn’t resist. Even when I called him about the picture, he said he just wanted to be your friend again. I guess he always did see the best in everyone, though.”

Marinette felt sick to her stomach. How long was Lila with them in that café and Marinette didn’t even know it? How much did she overhear as Marinette blabbered on and on to Adrien about her current life? Did she know about Marinette attending Rosemary? Did she tell Alya about her attending Rosemary? How many people did she send that picture to?

She clutched for Felix’s hand on her shoulder, suddenly not trusting herself to stand, and he quickly put his other hand on top of hers. The comfort of his touch was appreciated, but not enough.

A burst of laughter cut into Marinette’s panic, and she turned to Claude who was all but rolling on the grass. He clutched his sides as he howled and even went as far as to wipe tears from his eyes.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute..” the brunette wheezed. “So you’re telling me, that Adrien Agreste, the fashion icon and heart throb of Paris, was in your class, but Marinette only started acting out after the foreign exchange student showed up? No offense to you, Mari, but I’m pretty sure a rich, young model would have been way more popular. How come she didn’t sabotage him?”

Alya faltered for a moment, not quite expecting the question and certainly not the laughter. “W-Well- I mean- she did have a major crush on him. Maybe she didn’t care that he was more popular than her because she liked him so much.”

Marinette felt her cheeks heat up out of embarrassment, but thankfully, no one touched on that subject. Instead, Allegra hummed and said, “Okay, fine. Assuming that’s true, what made Lila so popular?”

“Plenty of things.” Alya stated matter-of-factly. “She’s helped Prince Ali organize several charities, made petitions to save endangered animal preserves, is best friends with Ladybug-”

Marinette didn’t resist her eye roll.

“-and even saved Jagged stone’s kitten!”

Marinette glanced at Claude, who immediately deadpanned a “what”. She knew that if anyone was going to pick up the last line, it would be him.

“Jagged Stone never owned a kitten.” Claude said. “He’s allergic.”

“It was before he knew he was allergic.”

“He’s still never owned a kitten!” Claude exclaimed with a flail of his arms. “He’s only ever owned a crocodile! That’s been said in multiple interviews!”

“But-”

“And if we want to bring up charities, Prince Ali doesn’t organize any charities. He only donates to them.” Allegra pointed out.

“I-”

“And petitions to protect endangered animal preserves?” Allan echoed. “Those don’t need protection. They are set in stone by law.”

“I’m sure-”

“Look, you’ve clearly been given false information.” Claude said, crossing his arms, “and because you were dumb enough to believe the real attention-seeker, you’ve lost an amazing friend. Now I suggest you leave us alone before I report you to the authorities for harassment.”

Alya’s face twisted with rage. “Harrass- you know what? Whatever. I’ve done my part. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when she starts ruining your life out of jealousy.”

Marinette caught a glimpse of Claude clenching his fists, and Allan put a hand on the brunette’s shoulder to steady him.

“We won’t. Have a nice day.”

Alya huffed and stormed off, dragging Nino with her. He glanced over his shoulder to give Marinette an apologetic look, but she didn’t meet his gaze. Instead she crossed her arms over her chest and blew out a sigh. That.. could have gone worse.. she supposed.

“Marinette.”

Marinette’s fingers dug into her skin, and she hesitantly looked up at Felix. His hand had loosened on her shoulder, and he was staring at her with an unreadable expression. What was he thinking right now? Was he angry? Disappointed? Confused about why she didn’t tell him about her lunch date with Adrien? She wished he would give her a clue of some kind.

“Are you alright?” He asked softly. “You’re shaking.”

Marinette blinked, pulling her hands away from her body. She was shaking? How did she not notice?

“Oh, and you look so pale!” Allegra cried, wrapping her arms around Marinette’s shoulders. “Should we take you home?”

Marinette grabbed Allegra’s arm and forced a small smile as she shook her head. “No, no, I’m.. I..”

She wanted to say that she was fine, that they could continue having lunch as usual, but a lump in her throat made it hard to get the words out. Next thing she knew, tears were spilling down her cheeks, and she was putting her hand over her mouth to choke down a sob.

All this time.. All this time she’d been keeping her past a secret from them, scared that they might take Lila’s side like everyone else, yet here they were, holding her close and offering her hushed condolences. They were giving her the very support she’d been afraid of losing, and now she was ashamed that she’d ever been afraid at all.

“I’m so sorry!” She nearly sobbed.

Allegra pulled her closer. “No, don’t say that! There’s nothing you need to be apologizing for!”

Claude and Allan rushed to wrap their arms around her as well, and Felix slid his hand down to rub her back. This, of course, only made her cry harder, because they were being so gentle with her, so kind. How could she have ever doubted them?

“Why don’t we go back to the house?” Claude suggested gently. “Mom and Dad won’t be back yet so we can give you a minute to recover.”

“And Felix makes the best honeysuckle tea.” Allegra adds. “It’ll cure any pain those idiots caused.”

Marinette sniffed and gave a little nod. People were starting to stare at them anyway, and at this point, she’d lost her appetite.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, whatever you need.” Allegra said as she led Marinette back to the car.

Marinette took the handkerchief Felix offered her and dried some of her tears, then gave him a small, grateful smile. He hadn’t spoken much during the altercation, but the way he quietly hovered around her and held her hand when she needed it said enough, especially since she knew he didn’t appreciate being touched.

It’s funny. Whenever she used to think about them finding out about Lila- because, surely, it would have to happen eventually -she always assumed she would feel anxious or paranoid afterwards. “What if they didn’t believe her? What if they constantly doubted her actions now? What if she constantly doubted their actions? Would they ever be able to trust each other fully again?” But as she got into the limo and sat down, and everyone crowded around her to show their love and support over the awful things Lila had said, all Marinette felt was safe.

~~~~~~

Felix leaned his back against the peppered countertop and crossed his arms, his finger tapping against his bicep with impatience. The iron tea kettle sat on the stove next to him, slowly heating and steeping the honeysuckle tea that he’d been requested to make. Usually, it took no time at all for the kettle to whistle, but today, it felt like he’d been standing there for an eternity.

He glanced at the digital clock on the microwave to see how long he’d been waiting, and the numbers 12:45 blinked across it.

12:45pm.. That meant he’d been in the kitchen for about..

Two minutes.

Felix sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his gaze sliding to the kitchen doorway. Marinette was sitting in the living room with the others just outside of it, with her and Allegra on one three-cushioned-couch, and Claude and Allan on the other one across from them. She seemed to be having a decent time, chatting and laughing with everyone, but that didn’t ease Felix’s mind any, not after what he saw in the park.

He’ll admit to being curious when the fight first started. Rosemary is known for its hair-pulling, arm-biting brawls, but they’re also known to remain dignified despite them. For example, the brawls are almost always private, which is why, when someone called out to Marinette in such a harsh and open manner, Felix couldn’t help being intrigued.

When he saw how Marinette reacted, however, his stance on the situation dramatically changed.

In the month and a half that he’s known her, Marinette has faced down high-class celebrities, an overwhelming amount of clothing requests from Claude, and an actual akuma, and not once has Felix seen her so much as flinch. Not until today, that is, when that red-head somehow shook her to her core. Just the sight of her sent Marinette into hysterics, crying, shaking, her face becoming white as a sheet- he’s quite certain she almost hyperventilated at some point too. This strong girl that he’d grown to admire, that he was starting to believe could face anything unscathed, had crumbled to pieces in mere seconds, and it honestly frightened him. He wasn’t sure what to do or how to help. So he simply grabbed her shoulder, hoping she would understand what he was trying to say- that he was there for her, and was she alright?

She understood him, thankfully, and her shoulders started to loosen a bit under his gaze.

But then that red-head started talking.

She spat out the most ridiculous accusations Felix had ever heard, accusations stating that Marinette was a liar and a fake, that she only ever did things for attention. Even if the part about wanting attention was true- which it wasn’t -why would it matter? She does incredible things simply because people ask her to. Why shouldn’t she get any attention for it?

As annoying as the last claim was, though, it wasn’t nearly as infuriating as the rest of the things that girl said. She told them she was Marinette’s former best friend, yet she cast the ravenette aside at the drop of a hat simply because an exchange student with a rusted silver tongue told her to do so. Honestly, who would be dumb enough to believe that some foreign student was best friends with one of the Parisian superheroes? Or that a highschooler actually got to organize charity events? The most she would be able to do at her age was greet people as they walked inside.

Felix wasn’t even going to think about the Jagged Stone claim, since Claude already made it quite clear that that was another lie, but really, who goes into a new school spreading the most impossibly grand lies they can? More importantly, how did those lies manage to stick? Was everyone at Dupont a complete moron?

No.. No, that wasn’t it. No one was that stupid, surely. They all probably wanted to believe Lila. That’s why they pounced on Marinette the way they did. They were looking for an excuse to go after her the entire time.

Felix clenched his fist and turned to the kettle again, watching the steam rise from the spout. It’s no wonder she became so worried when saw Adrien Agreste at Rosemary. After her crush on him and the lies, Felix wouldn’t want to see his former classmates either.

...Speaking of Agreste, what was that picture about? Felix doubted Marinette was trying to ‘persuade him to her side’ as that red-head had said, but her reaction to it was extremely strong nonetheless. Why were they in a café together? It sounded like she met up with him only last week, but she’d told Felix a couple weeks ago that she didn’t want to see him. Why would she put herself through that? And why did she grip his hand so hard when she saw the picture?

The shrill whistle of the tea kettle broke into his thoughts, and Felix jumped to move it off of the burner. Once it was set aside properly, he turned the stove off and began setting out the mugs to fill them. They weren’t as delicate or pristine as the tea sets his father owned, but they would do nicely for the time being. Besides, if Marinette had a one-of-a-kind glass teacup, she might fret about breaking it instead of enjoying the tea.

Felix filled the mugs and put them on a tray, along with some sugars, milk, and honey, then picked up the tray to bring it into the living room. A round of delighted cheers filled the room as he entered, and Claude eagerly bounced up from the couch to grab his mug. Felix moved the tray out of his reach, though, not wanting to offset the balance and spill everything.

“Sorry it took so long.” Felix said as he set the tray on the table. “The tea is fresh so I brought in ice cubes to cool it off if you want them. If not, make sure to blow on it before drinking or you’ll burn your tongue.”

“Yeah, yeah, we know the drill.” Claude remarked as he reached for his mug again.

Felix rolled his eyes. “That was for Marinette’s benefit, not yours.”

“I’m sure Mari knows how to drink hot tea.” Claude retorted.

“But I appreciate the advice anyway.” Marinette spoke up with a smile.

Felix glanced at her as he handed her a pink mug, trying not to look at the puffed up red spots under her eyes. Her tears had long since disappeared, but the remnants of them still remained, including the trails on her cheeks that the tears had run down.

“You’re going to love this, Marinette.” Allegra chirped, thankfully taking the girl’s focus. “This tea literally tastes like honey. I doubt you’ll even need any sugar!”

“Yeah, but I’m gonna.” Claude smirked, already shoveling a spoonful of sugar into his tea. “Unsweet tea was never my style.”

“I swear you are gonna die from diabetes one day.” Allan muttered while taking a sip of his tea.

“And it will totally be worth it.” Claude replied.

Marinette and the others laughed, which helped Felix relax a tad as he sat next to Allan. If Marinette was laughing again, maybe that meant she was feeling better.

The ravenette’s lips hovered over the mug for a solid minute as she blew on the pale, celadon liquid, and when she finally decided to take a drink, Felix found himself staring. Did she like it? Was it too strong? Should he go make something else for her?

“Oh, this is amazing!” Marinette gasped, her eyes lighting up.

Felix smiled, relieved. “I’m glad you think so. I like to add a few drops of honey and a sprinkle of sugar every now and then because it brings out the flavor, but that’s just a personal preference.”

“The tea is incredible already, but I’ll try your style anyway.” She said, reaching for the sugar. Claude pushed it towards her, while Allegra gave her the honey, and once Marinette dumped the extra ingredients into her mug, she took a spoon from a tray to stir them.

She took another sip of the tea, and this time, she sank into the couch with a contented sigh.

“Wow. That is so good, especially with how warm it is! I feel like I’ve just been wrapped up in the most comfortable blanket ever.”

The trio shared a laugh, and Marinette sat up with another giggle herself, but to Felix’s disappointment, the smiles didn’t last.

Marinette set her mug on her lap and let out a sigh, a bashful smile replacing her giddy one. She kept her gaze on her cup as she said, “So, I guess… I should explain myself?”

The group exchanged glances, and Allegra frowned.

“What’s there to explain?” Allan was the first to ask.

Marinette looked up. “Well- Y-You know.. The reasons why Alya was so angry with me. How everything happened at my old school.”

“Again, what’s there to explain?” Claude said. “It’s obvious what happened. This ‘Lila’ person spread rumors about you around the school, and for some reason, your classmates were dumb enough to believe it. End of story.”

For once, Felix agreed with him.

“.. Not quite.” Marinette admitted, causing Felix to furrow his eyebrows. How much more to the story could there possibly be? Don’t tell him it got worse.

“I’d like to tell my side of the story, if you guys don’t mind.”

Allegra offered her a reassuring smile. “Of course not, but you don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah.” Allan agreed. “Your word is all we need.”

A grateful smile caught the corners of Marinette’s lips. “Thank you, but I want to do this. I’ll feel a lot better once you guys know the full truth.”

“Then we’re all ears.” Felix said, sincerely.

Marinette’s smile widened slightly as she glanced at him, but her expression fell serious again when she began her story.

“It started almost two years ago. The September before last, a girl named Lila joined our school- er -my old school, Dupont. She came in telling all of these different stories about meeting celebrities and arranging charity events or music concerts and being ‘best friends’ with Ladybug.”

The sheer disgust in her voice when she mentioned being best friends with Ladybug made Felix smirk, but he let her continue.

“With stories as crazy as that, I couldn’t believe that my fr- uh.. That my classmates were actually believing her. In one day, she had them following her around like dogs and carrying her stuff because she claimed to have hurt her wrist in an accident. I forget which excuse she used, but it ticked me off to no end. So I tried to tell everyone that she was lying.”

“It.. didn’t end well, unfortunately. She turned into an akuma and went on a rampage, and after Ladybug and Chat Noir fixed everything, she only gained more sympathy from everybody. That’s when the stories about me started.”

“Every time I tried to expose her, she would make up some elaborate lie that made me the bad guy, and everyone swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. I tried to tell the teachers about what was happening, and some of them helped keep us separated during class time. But other than that, I was kind of just.. left to handle it by myself.”

Felix held back a scoff. Typical. Teachers never bothered entering student squabbles if they thought it wasn’t law-suit worthy.

“Of course, since the teachers weren’t doing anything, the lies only got worse, and soon, Lila started lying about me unprovoked. She would say I stole her things or ripped up her homework or tripped her down the stairs. I almost got expelled over it twice.”

“Wait, seriously?” Claude said before Felix could actually scoff. “So you told the teacher that this ‘Lila’ was spreading lies around the school, but they still tried to expel you over the things she said?”

Marinette nodded. “They would have to if she hadn’t come back and made up some lies about having been mistaken. I’m still not sure why she did that.”

Felix shook his head, absolutely incredulous to what he was hearing. It appeared the students weren’t the only morons in that school. How has it stayed funded for this long?

“Maybe it was a power play.” Allan muttered with a frown. “She sounds like the type of person who would do that.”

Marinette shrugged. “Yeah, I guess she is.”

“Didn’t anyone believe you?” Allegra asked.

A wince overcame the ravenette’s features, and Felix reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t wait to hear what she had to say about that question.

“Yes, someone did,” Marinette admitted, “but he wasn’t very helpful, to be honest. Actually, he tried to get me to stop going against Lila in case she got akumatized again. His reasoning was that her lies would eventually be found out on their own, but.. as you know.. They never were.”

Claude scoffed and put a hand to his chest, seeming to be offended by the very notion. “Are you for real? He just wanted you to let it go?”

“Did he even say anything while you were in the process of being expelled?” Allan asked.

Marinette’s face said plenty, but she answered aloud anyway. “No, not that I know of. He never liked getting in the middle of confrontations.”

Now it was Felix’s turn to scoff. He tipped his drink up to his lips, downing half the mug to avoid interrupting her story further. Felix scoffed, taking a sip of his tea to avoid interrupting her story further. Did no one want to stand up for Marinette? Did no one in that forsaken school have any sense of loyalty or gratitude? That dumb redhead at the park even admitted that Marinette had done numerous things for them as favors. How can they look at themselves in the mirror each morning when they treat people so horribly?

“So what happened after you almost got expelled?” Allegra prompted.

“Well, if you’re asking me what changed, then nothing, really.” Marinette replied. “Lila continued to lie, and I continued to take the fall for it, except now people were actually doing things to me. Before, they only talked about me behind my back or glared at me from the front, but after another one of Lila’s crying fits, they started ripping up my homework, stealing my things. I guess they thought they were playing the act of karma when they did it.”

“And I assume that guy who believed you stayed quiet the whole time?” Claude asked bitterly.

Marinette shrugged. “Basically. He tried to speak up on my behalf a few times, but he was always shut down too fast for it to matter.”

“Eventually, it got so bad that everyone started tripping me too, or running into me on purpose in the hallway. The last straw was when someone tripped down the front steps of the school, and I almost stumbled into a passing car. I was lucky I didn’t get hit.”

Felix’s grip tightened on his cup, and he thanked whatever was watching over her that day while simultaneously cursing the idiots she’d been forced to interact with. Did they even realize what they were doing? Or did they simply not care about almost murdering another classmate?

“Oh my gosh.” Allegra gasped, putting a hand to her mouth.

“That’s insane.” Allan said.

“Were they even sorry?!” Claude demanded, outraged. “Did they even look ashamed when you almost got hit?”

Marinette took another drink of her tea and shook her head. “No. My Maman tried to talk to the school about it, but since nothing actually happened besides me getting pushed, they could only offer her detention slips or suspension.”

She paused to look up at Felix, surprising him.

“That’s why I decided to transfer to Rosemary.” She said, and in that moment, it felt as though everything she had ever told him clicked into place. The reason the akuma attacks all seemed minor to her, why she never mentioned her old school, her becoming pale when Agreste first came around to Rosemary- it all made sense now, like he’d taken a million separate puzzle pieces and connected them to form a single picture.

Felix thought he would be pleased, that he would feel triumphant upon solving this brain teaser known as Marinette, but he didn’t feel pleased at all. Instead he felt.. Sympathy. And fury. This girl was not some puzzle for him to mess around with. She was a person, a friend, his friend, and to hear her be treated in such a way made his blood boil.

“We’re glad you did.” Allegra commented.

“Yeah, you’re clearly much better off here.” Claude agreed. “Those jerks don’t know what they lost.”

“So you guys aren’t.. Ya know.. mad at me or anything?”

“Mad at you?” Allan frowned. “Why would we be mad at you?”

“Well,” Marinette thumbed her mug for a moment, “I did kind of keep this a secret from all of you on purpose. I just didn’t want to drag my old problems to my new school. That and.. I didn’t want to risk you not believing me.. I’m sorry I didn’t have more faith in you guys.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Allegra said. “You went through something terrible. We don’t blame you for not wanting to bring it up again.”

“Besides, you transferred schools to escape from the rumors, right?” It only makes sense that you wouldn’t tell us about them when you got here.” Allan pointed out.

Felix nodded in agreement, and Marinette let out a sigh of relief.

“That’s good to hear. Thanks for hearing me out.”

“Of course.” Claude smiled. “You’re our friend, Marinette. A few dumb rumors would never drive us away. If it did, we wouldn’t even be friends with each other by now.”

Marinette gave him a curious look. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, we’ve all been lied about at some point.” The brunette stated nonchalantly. “I mean, we go to Rosemary, a school filled to the brim with rich, talented, and extremely spoiled kids who have nothing better to do than gossip about each other. I get accused of cheating at least once a semester. Allegra had rumors about her bribing the dance teacher when she was chosen for a leading role one year, and Felix has been rumored to actually not be rich at all.”

Felix rolled his eyes, but an incredulous laugh left Marinette’s lips.

“What?”

Allan snorted. “Oh, that one was pretty funny. Some people still think he actually lives in the school.”

“Seriously? Why?”

“Cause he wouldn’t invite people over to his house.” Allegra said with a wry smile. “And he practically wears the same outfit everyday.

Marinette hummed, looking Felix up and down. “They make a good point.. Felix, is there something you’d like to confess to?”

Felix gave a playful scoff, and the group laughed at his reaction.

“See?” Claude asked. “Your rumors were definitely worse than ours, but we’re not inexperienced. People will always try to bring you down in the lamest way possible.”

Marinette chuckled. “Yeah.. I guess they will. Thanks, guys.”

“Anytime.” Allegra smiled, pulling Marinette into a small hug.

“We’re always here for you.” Allan added sincerely.

Marinette smiled as well. “I know.”

“And if any of those jerks come around you again, you just let us know,” Claude said, punching his fist into his palm, “especially if it’s that guy who tried to tell you to ‘ignore’ Lila.”

A nervous laugh came from Marinette, and she reached up to mess with her pigtails as she said, “I appreciate that.”

Felix, satisfied with how the conversation ended, tilted his cup up to his lips, only to realize it was empty. He pulled his cup down and scanned the table, noting that Allegra and Claude’s cups were empty as well.

“Why don’t I get us some more tea?” He offered, moving to grab the tray.

“Oh!” Marinette perked up, quickly downing the rest of her tea in one gulp. “I’ll come too.”

Felix blinked. “Uh.. that’s not necessary. I can carry it all in one sitting. If you’d rather sit-”

“No, it’s alright.” She said, standing up to take Claude’s cup from him. “I want to stretch my legs anyway.”

The trio exchanged glances again, but Felix was too busy eyeing Marinette to notice. ‘Stretch her legs’? She’s only been sitting for- what? Thirty minutes? Forty-five? How restless could her legs be?

“We’ll wait in here.” Allegra remarked, referring to herself and the other boys.

Felix nodded and picked up the tray, not bothering to argue with Marinette. If she wanted to walk with him into the kitchen, she certainly had the right to do so. And who knows? Maybe she wanted a moment to herself and didn’t know how to tell them.

They strode into the kitchen together, and Felix set the tray on the counter while Marinette handed him her mugs.

“Thank you for helping me. You know you didn’t need to.” He said as he refilled the mugs.

“I know,” Marinette said, leaning against the counter while she waited, “but I actually wanted to speak with you privately, so this works for me.”

Felix raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She wanted to speak with him privately?

“What did you need?”

Marinette glanced up at him, then seemed to think better of it as her gaze flicked back down to the ground. “I wanted to apologize to you too.. You remember last week when you asked me if something was wrong and I told you I didn’t want to talk about it? Well, the reason I was upset was because Adrien came to the bakery that day and begged me to speak with him. I didn’t really feel comfortable with it, but I felt guilty not giving him a second chance when he seemed so sorry about how he’d acted with Lila. So I agreed to have lunch with him after the Valentine’s Day party, which was where I ran off to while you guys were cleaning up. I guess Lila took a picture of us there, and I didn’t realize it..”

Felix frowned. Her reasons for visiting Agreste again were troubling to hear, but..

“Why do you need to apologize to me?”

Marinette’s gaze snapped to his again, her eyes wide with surprise. “Because I didn’t tell you. I knew after everything you’d heard about him that you wouldn’t want me going to see him, but instead of hearing your opinion, I just didn’t say anything. I should have talked to you about it. Maybe then Lila wouldn’t have found me and taken the picture..”

Felix stared at her for a moment, astounded by her logic. She thought she had to ask him before going to see Adrien? Sure, Felix would have advised against it immediately, but that didn’t mean she had to ask his permission.

“Marinette, you don’t owe me anything.” He told her. “Your life is your life. If you want to go have lunch with Adrien Agreste, that’s your decision. And while I would have advised against it, I still would have supported your decision nonetheless. I am your friend, not your boss or guardian. Do you understand?”

Marinette nodded, a grateful smile crossing her lips. He was happy to see it.

“More importantly, you don’t owe Agreste anything either. Just because he finally wisened up to his mistakes doesn’t mean you have to give him a second chance, especially if you don’t feel comfortable doing so.”

Felix paused, thinking over what he’d just said.

“Although, I am curious.. What did he apologize for? He wasn’t one of the people who assaulted you, was he?”

“Oh, no, no.” Marinette hastily answered. “He, uhm.. He was actually the one who didn’t believe Lila.”

Felix tensed, using all of his self-discipline to avoid screaming ‘Are you kidding me?!’. Because really, out of all the people that had to convince Marinette to let Lila go, why did it have to be him? Actually, now that he thought about it, of course it was him! Who else would Marinette have been willing to listen to? Who else would have had the gall, the audacity, to act as though enabling a spoiled brat was some noble sacrifice? Wow, that guy just managed to keep climbing up the ranks on Felix’s ‘most hated’ list, didn’t he?

“I see.” Felix managed to mumble. “Are you going to tell the others?”

Marinette bit her lip, which was most likely a ‘no’.

“Not yet-” bingo “-I don’t want him getting a bad reputation. He did apologize, after all.”

Felix drew in a deep breath, letting the frustration towards that answer melt out of him. This was Marinette’s decision. She has trusted him with it, and he is going to respect it, no matter how much he hates it. That’s why he simply heaved a heavy sigh and put a hand on her shoulder as he said, “Marinette, you are truly too kind for this world.”

A blush bloomed across her cheeks, and she let out a small laugh. “O-Oh.. thanks.”

Felix turned back to the tray and picked it up, offering her a polite smile as he did. He didn’t agree with her method of handling things, but he did trust her to know what she was doing. Marinette was Marinette, after all, and she was much more capable than he was in most areas. If she thought this was the best way to go, he wouldn’t dispute it.

“So,” he began as he gestured for her to start moving towards the living room, “if I just put sugar in Claude’s mug instead of tea, do you think he would know the difference?”

Marinette snorted. “Oh~, that’s a tough one. Maybe we should test it to find out.”

“Alright, but you have to give him the cup. If I do, he’ll assume I’ve poisoned it.”

Marinette giggled and walked into the living room, and Felix followed behind her with a smile. He knew he couldn’t march up to the Agreste mansion and rip Adrien apart like he preferred- he probably couldn’t get any revenge on him whatsoever -but Felix would be darned if he just let this go the way Marinette wanted him to. Actions such as this needed to be punished, not forgiven and forgotten because of some half-hearted apology. If she wanted to toss the whole ordeal over her shoulder, that was fine, but Felix was going to hold a grudge against Dupont that was strong enough for the both of them.

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(Devotion: Alright guys! We’ve talked about the message of God’s wonderful salvation- which you should totally go back and read if you haven’t accepted Christ as your savior. It’s extremely important. -we’ve talked about how the Bible says people will react to the word of God, which has been proven to be true time and again; We have talked about Hell and why it exists; and in the last message, we talked about God’s compassion and faithfulness to His people. The last devotion wasn’t exactly in line with the others as far as the salvation theme, but today’s devotion will be! We’re going to talk about Jesus Christ and what exactly He went through on the cross to become the perfect sacrifice for our sins. This one’s probably going to be a bit long, and it is going to be gruesome. So what I’m going to do is bolden the main points of what He went through, then I’m going to describe them in detail. That way, people who can’t stomach gore or painful descriptions can still see a semblance of what He did, and people who can stomach it will get to understand the full extent of which Jesus loves us. Alright? Everyone got it? Great! Let’s get going then!

We start in the garden of Gethsemane. Jesus comes here only a few hours or less before He is arrested to be tried for crucifixion. He knows He is about to be arrested; He knows that this is the only way to save us from our sins, but that doesn’t stop Him from crying out to God and begging Him for a last way out. He says, “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt”, and the Bible says that He was under so much stress during this prayer, He actually began sweating drops of blood. Blood! More so, the Bible also tells us that Jesus had to have an actual angel fly down and keep His heart from rupturing, lest He die prematurely. That means that Jesus was so stressed He almost died before He could even be crucified! Jesus was scared! He was terrified of going through with what God was asking of Him, and wouldn’t we all be! Nobody likes pain, and Jesus was about to go through one of the greatest pains we could ever face. Not only that, there were going to be a few other add-ons to the physical pain He was about to receive.

See, Jesus is supposed to be the perfect lamb, the perfect sacrifice to atone for all of our sins, but to do that, Jesus not only needs to be punished for the sins we have committed, He also has to become the thing He’s being punished for. You cannot punish something that is innocent. It would be unjust. Jesus is aware of this, and that’s another reason He’s as stressed as He is in this moment of prayer. Although Jesus is manifested in human form at the moment, He is still very much God and part of the Holy Trinity, and as such, He still hates sin with a burning passion. He is disgusted by the very thought of it, the very idea. So imagine His dismay when He figures out that He has to become sin! That it has to be woven and meshed into His entire being! That would be like, for me, looking at all of the disgusting food water that’s in the sink before doing dishes and having to bathe myself in it without soap. (even bathing in it with soap would be bad, but you know) And for you guys! Think of the most disgusting thing on earth and then imagine being drench in it! Having it smeared on your skin and shoved in your mouth and caked all over your body- That’s what becoming our sin was going to be like for Jesus, and He hated every bit of it!...

But He loved us. So He went on with it anyway, the pain of crucifixion and the atrocity of becoming all of the sins of the world at once.

As soon as He was done with prayer, Judas- one of the former twelve disciples -betrayed Jesus and handed Him over to the chief priests as well as a crowd of people and soldiers. Jesus went willingly with them and did not fight. In fact, when Peter- another one of the twelve -leapt forward to protect Him by cutting off one of the High Priest’s ears, Jesus actually rebuked him and proceeded to put the High Priest’s ear back on his head. He was healing one of the very people who were about to kill Him! And the disciples were so confused and so panicked by this mob and Jesus’ “strange” behavior, that they all fled. Every single one of them. (This was done to fulfill scripture, so we shouldn’t judge them too harshly, but it is extremely sad for Jesus’ case.)

So the High Priests take Jesus away to Caiaphas, another High priest, and they put Him on trial. The High Priests and Elders tried to put false witnesses up on the stand, but none of their stories were adding up. They couldn’t share the same details that the other was, and almost no two stories were the same. Therefore, the High Priests got frustrated and started taunting Jesus directly, saying, “Answerest thou nothing? What is it which these witness against thee?” But Jesus refused to say anything. He just sat there, silent. This angered the High Priest, so he finally just yelled at Him- or at least, I imagine he yelled -and said, “I adjure thee by the name of the living God, that thou tell us whether thou be the Christ, the Son of God.” And here, we have one of the instances that Jesus openly admits, plain and blunt, that He is the Christ. He tells the High Priest that He is the Son of God, and that after this, He will be sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of Heaven.

The High Priest rents his clothes (which means to tear them. It used to be a sign of grieving) and says that Jesus has committed blasphemy, and unfortunately, the rest of the council agree and sentence Him to death. This is where the beginning of the crucifixion process begins. They still had to get a governor’s approval for the death sentence, but that didn’t stop them from taking Jesus and blindfolding Him and beating him while He was blindfolded. They would laugh and spit in His face during this and taunt Him, saying “Prophesy unto us, though Christ, who is he that smote thee?” It was an incredibly humiliating experience for our Lord to go through, but it was about to get much much worse.

The next morning, they take Jesus to Pontius Pilate, a governor, and demand that Jesus be crucified. Pilate, I would assume, reviews the case, because we see him ask Jesus if He is the King of the Jews a few verses later. Jesus simply answers with a “thou sayest” then refuses to speak again for the rest of the time. Despite that, though, Pilate knew the people were only delivering Jesus there because they were jealous of Him. So he gave the angry mob a choice: “Whom will ye that I release unto you? Barabbas, or Jesus which is called Christ?”

so understand this choice, it is important to know that there was a certain feast going on at that time, and at the feast, Pontius likes to release a prisoner of the people’s choice. Barabbas was a current prisoner, known for being a murderer and a thief, and I’m sure Pilate was hoping that by presenting a very unjust man compared to Jesus for release, the people would concede and choose Jesus to release. That’s not what happened, though. The people were so angry and so swayed by the High Priest’s influence that they decided to let the thief and murderer loose, as opposed to a completely innocent man. Pontius Pilate is flabbergasted and asks them, “What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ?”

The response was.. unanimous.

“Let him be crucified.”

“Why? What evil hath he done?” Pilate persisted, but the people only cried out louder for Jesus to be crucified. So Pilate, seeing that he couldn’t change their minds, washed his hands in a bowl of water and said, “I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it.”

Thus, Jesus was sent off to be Scourged, the first part of the crucifixion process. Scourging is a devious, calculated type of torture that uses a cat of nine tails to rip the flesh off of its victims. A cat of nine tails is basically a leather handle that has nine different whips attached to the same end, and on the end of those whips were hooks created from shattered glass or twisted metal or any other kind of sharp thing you can think of. The romans would throw the whip across their victim’s skin, and the jagged pieces laced into the whip would latch onto the skin. Then, the Romans would yank across the whip, causing the jagged pieces to tear through the flesh. The pain that would come from that is excruciating, and during this scourging, Jesus was stripped of his garments and whipped with a cat of nine tails thirty nine times. To put that in perspective, it takes 40 times of being whipped with that thing to be killed. This means that Jesus was whipped to the point of near death. His skin is in tatters. There is blood all over his skin. His teeth have probably cracked from having to grit them so much, and Jesus is in pain. He’s in so much pain already.

But it’s not over yet.

The next thing the Romans decide to do is place a purple garment around him, and weave a crowd of thorns together. These aren’t just regular thorns, either. These thorns are about two inches long and pointed, and by the time the Romans got a thick circle of thorns together, I’d imagine you could hardly hold it in your hands without getting hurt. They took those thorns and pushed all 70 or so of them into Jesus’ skull. THEN they grabbed a rod and beat the thorns into His head!! The thorns punctured Jesus’ head so deeply, that the thorns actually touched his skull, curved from hitting it, then poked back out of His skin somewhere else. The way the Romans put this crown on His head, Jesus physically couldn’t take it off. And after all of that, the Romans bowed down in front of Jesus and mocked Him again, saying, “Hail! King of the Jews!” and beat Him with their bare hands, even though they had already whipped Him to the point of near death.

Pilate took Jesus to the Jews and again begged them to reconsider and let Jesus go, but the Jews refused to do so. They screamed for Jesus’ death all the more, so Pilate reluctantly gave it to them. This leads us to the beginning of the end, when they make Jesus carry His own cross. Part of the crucifixion was having the crucified carry their own cross to Golgotha, or Skull. It was kind of like an extra burden and humiliation attempt, and it worked well. Think of it like a murderer being forced to make his own death shot and give it to the nurses who were going to insert it in him. Jesus had to walk through the city, or at least on some sort of road, where crowds of people were lined up on both sides, all of them cheering for His death, and He had to do this while He could barely stand up straight. The Bible tells us that, because of His injuries, Jesus actually didn’t get to carry His cross all the way to Golgotha. He collapsed somewhere along the way, and a man named Simon had to help Him carry it the rest of the way, but sadly, they did get it there.

Once Jesus and the cross were on the mount, the Romans laid the cross down, laid Jesus on the cross, and used these huge nails to nail Jesus’ hands and feet to the cross. This was done through careful puncture wounds between the wrist bones and foot bones. It kept Jesus in place, while aggravating his nerves to make his feet and hands go crazy with pain. The Romans then raised the cross up for all to see, and for the next six hours Jesus hung on that cross. Something to note about this is that Jesus’ cross was not smooth. It had splinters and jagged edges all over the place, and the way the nails were pierced into His feet and hands caused Him caused His lungs to push heavily on His diaphragm. Because of this, breathing became a bit of a problem. His lungs could take in air, but He couldn’t breathe out. To do that, He would have to pull up on the nails in His wrists and push up on the nails in His feet and exhale. Pushing up, though, would cause Him to push His scraped, slashed, and bruised back against the splinters or possibly even into them. And let me remind you: He hung on that cross for six hours. Six. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you would do a lot of breathing in six hours.

And yet, despite all of that pain and suffering, the worst was still yet to come.

Jesus said seven different phrases while on the cross. Seven times He pulled Himself up on the cross, enduring extreme forms of agony, to speak with us. Would you like to know the first thing He said?

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

Jesus asked God to have mercy on us and forgive us. We’ve rejected Him and cursed His name time and time again, we’ve insisted on turning to Him with malice and hatred, and now we’ve put Him through some of the worst, most excruciating pain imaginable.. But He asked God to forgive us anyway. This, Jesus’ incredible love and mercy and grace towards us, is the baseline of Christianity. His love is what keeps this world turning on its very axis, and it’s why we have no qualms shouting His name to the rooftops. His name deserves to be shouted and praised after all of the things He went through just to allow us to be with Him and talk with Him.

The second phrase He said was to a thief who was hanging on the cross with Him. In the Bible, we are told that Jesus wasn’t the only one being crucified that night. Two thieves were also being crucified along with Him, and they were placed on the mount to His left and to His right. The thief on the right was spitting on Him and mocking Him as well, but the thief on the left rebuked the first thief, saying, “Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.” And the second thief turned to Jesus and added, “Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.”

This is when Jesus speaks the second time, as He, I imagine, turns to the thief as best He can to reply, “Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.” This conversation right here is a wonderful example of salvation and how simple it truly is. This thief was dying. He’d lived a bad life full of mischief and wickedness, and he had no way of making that right. But because he believed that Jesus was the Son of God, he was still able to go to Heaven. Salvation isn’t about works or what we can try to give back to Christ (although, we should try to give back to Christ as much as we can after being saved), it’s about the free gift that Jesus gave us. Heaven and Salvation is a gift. All we have to do is accept it.

The third phrase Jesus says is to John, one of the disciples, and Mary, Jesus’ mother. The Bible says that Jesus sees them before He speaks, so I imagine they are near the cross and weeping. Again, He drags Himself up on the splintered cross, draws in a pain-staking breath, and utters, “Women, behold thy son!” to Mary, and to John He says, “Behold thy mother!”. So He was making sure that His mother was going to be taken care of before He passed away.

Around this time, as Jesus was hanging on the cross, the earth fell into total darkness. I’m talking the sky was black. And as soon as this happened, Jesus cried out into the sky, saying his fourth comment on the cross.

“Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” or “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

This.. is where we see the second add-on that made Jesus so terribly stressed during His prayer in the garden of Gethsemane. He is taking on the sins of the world. One can only imagine how many sins that would be, and in this moment, Jesus is taking every single one of them and forcing them into a single person, a single place to look upon. There was so much sin in Jesus at the very hour, that God had to do what He’s never done before in history and turn His back on a human being.

There are times when God’s grace leaves us, when His mercy runs out and we are instead faced with His judgement, but despite that judgement, God is still present in our lives and in the world around us. No matter how alone we’ve felt in the world, God has always been there next to us without us knowing. But not here. Here, God is actively turning His back on Jesus. He is completely forsaking Jesus because of the amount of sin that has poured into Jesus’ heart and soul as part of the sacrifice. That absence of God is something we are never going to know (unless you don’t get saved and go to hell, I suppose) but I can only imagine how empty it must be. How crushingly lonely it must feel, to know that now, Jesus truly is all alone in this world. The very God, the other part of Himself, that He’s been with since the beginning is now just.. Gone. That, I believe, was the worst part of this entire crucifixion for Jesus. He can face the physical pain; He can face the disgustingness of sin; He can face the humiliation of being God but also being mocked and treated like a life form lower than dirt because He knew He wasn’t facing any of that alone. He knew God was right by His side.

But now He wasn’t.

And Jesus was still there on the cross.

We see in the Bible that the darkness lasted for a full three hours, meaning Jesus has to go at least three more hours without God’s presence and comfort and light. In these last few hours, though, Jesus says three more phrases. His fifth phrase is, “I thirst.”

Another part of the Roman crucifixion costume was to get a sponge and soak it in vinegar mixed with gall. The combination created an extremely bitter taste that would supposedly distract the crucified from their pain every now and then, if only for a moment. So when Jesus said, “I thirst”, the Romans quickly got a sponge or even a cup ready and gave Him a sip of it. After He drank the cup, Jesus cried with a loud voice and said His final two phrases. Now in Luke and John, the last phrase that Jesus says is different when compared to each other, but the phrases are both so unique that I believe Jesus said both of them, one right after the other, and John and Luke simply wrote down different halves. So I’m going to write the last two phrases together.

“Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit. It is finished.”

After this phrase, Jesus gives up the ghost, or in other words, allowed Himself to die. This is another crucial point of Christianity because it shows Jesus’ power over life and death itself. He isn’t killed by blood loss or exhaustion or by a heart attack or anything like that. He simply dies because He wanted to at that moment. I think that’s kind of comforting actually. A God as powerful and loving as Jesus, who can control His own life and death as well as everyone else’s and was willing to give up His own life for us when we didn’t deserve it or even ask, is a God I most definitely want to serve.

Unfortunately, though, death was not quite the end of Jesus’ sacrifice. Not many people know this (or, at least, I didn’t know it for a long while), but after Jesus’ death, He went to hell for three straight days. Yes, you read that correctly. Actual Hell. If He’s going to take our punishment, He needs to take all of it, right? So don’t think God is just dishing out the punishments, but not taking any for Himself. He doesn’t need any, because He is a holy and perfect God, but He took some anyway so we didn’t have to, because He is also loving and merciful.

Hell was, thankfully, the last step of the sacrifice. After that, Jesus completed the ritual of becoming our free ticket to salvation by raising Himself from the dead! Have you ever heard of anyone who could raise themselves? I haven’t! And on top of that, the Bible says that Jesus’ resurrection was so powerful, that several other people around him were raised from the dead too! Just because He raised himself! Isn’t that crazy?

This is why rejecting Christ is such a big deal to God, and why people who claim there are other ways to Heaven are extremely blasphemous, because if there were any other possible way to Heaven, do you honestly think that God would have sent His only, begotten Son to die on the cross for us? Do you think God wanted to come down to suffer through all of this pain just to say “yeah, actually, you can also get in this other way”? No, of course not. Rejecting Christ’s sacrifice and salvation is basically telling Him that all of that pain and suffering didn’t matter, the same as spitting on Him like the other Jews as He hung on the cross.

He’s made the pathway to Heaven unbelievably simple. All we have to do is admit that we’re sinners, admit that we need saving from our sins, and accept Jesus Christ to be our savior by believing that He was the Son of God and that He died on the cross for us. If I was sure about anything in life, it is this. God is real. Heaven is real. Hell is real. Jesus is real, and He, along with God the Father and the Holy Spirit, is calling to you now. He is giving you another chance to accept Him as your savior before it’s too late. This could possibly even be your last chance. So please don’t put it off.

I love you guys very much and really really appreciate the people who have continued reading this. I’ll be praying for all of you to receive what I’ve told you, and for those who already have, I’ll be praying for you to keep growing in the Lord. Stay strong in the faith my friends! Keep telling the world about Jesus! He’s always right beside us! <3

Also, Here’s a link for a youtube video about Jesus’ death from a medical point of view. It’s a bit more detailed than I was, so please go watch it as well! https://youtu.be/0B3kgiLxybYOn that note, here’s a link I found recently that gives a bunch of videos and written materials from the author of “Cold Case Christianity”. He was someone who used to be an atheist until he started studying the four gospels with his skill of eye-witness-account-scrutiny. After studying the Bible for a few months, He realized that the Bible is, in fact, telling the truth, and ever since then he’s been racing to let the rest of the world know. Please check him out! www.coldcasechristianity.com/resources)

Tag List: @sasstrashforlike5fandoms @artbyknigit @athena452 @nickristus-dreamer @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @arsaem @abrx2002 @neakco @pawsitivelymiraculous @too0bsessedformyowngood @nathleigh @lusicing @officiallydarkgeek @all-mights-asscheeks @tbehartoo @woe-is-me0 @raeuberprinzessin @lazuli-11 @miss-chaos27 @trippingovermyfeet @sadpotatoondrugs @ladybug-182 @jaggedheart11 @marinahrasauce @i-need-blog-ideas @thewheezingbubbledragon @crazylittlemunchkin @unabashedbookworm @moonystars14 @sunflowers-and-mooncakes @2confused-2doanything @magnificentcrapposts @moonnette @nickristus-dreamer @vixen-uchiha @casual-darkness @luxmorningstarr @jjmjjktth @kaithehero @itsme1598 @theymakeupfairies @xjaccyx @miraculous-ninja @miraculouspenta @swiftie-miraculer13 @justafanwarrior @all-mights-asscheeks @ira-sairain @lookatthestars1 @dahjokester @blissful-passing @solangelo252 @canivialemonsquints07 @derbygracie @pleaseignorejustheretoread

#felinette #Marinette #Felix Culpa #Miraculous Ladybug #Quantic Kids #Rosemary AU #New Girl on the Block

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years

Text

champagne problems (part 1)

here's my first part of my modern no magic "champagne problems" singer-songwriter quarantine thomastair AU! happy birthday to @foxglove-airmid even though I don't think it's your birthday where you live anymore (and I still haven't posted zia's birthday fic, it'll happen I swear)!

no content warnings for this part (besides maybe quarantine), but future parts will include discussions of mental illness, substance abuse, and a suicide attempt

obviously, the song alastair "wrote" in the fic is not mine, it's by taylor swift! and a few of the lyrics have been changed!

Masterlist | AO3

Thomas breathed out a sigh of relief as he lugged his suitcase up onto the fifth floor landing.

“‘Ere we are,” Piers announced as he unlocked the door.

Thomas was utterly exhausted, such was the result of taking a redeye flight across the Atlantic during a global pandemic, but any idea of rest that he’d had was interrupted when he heard the sound of piano flood the apartment.

“Ah, sorry about that,” Piers nodded, “One of my flatmates, the walls are paper thin. He can’t record at the studio right now, but he’s trying to finish his EP, so it’s been a bit noisier around here. He’ll take a break soon, hopefully.”

Thomas shook his head. “It’s no problem. Thank you, again, for allowing me to stay here. I’ll be looking for my own place as soon as the quarantine is up.”

“Of course. You’ve got the couch as long as you need it. Couldn’t just hang you out to dry, could I? Although, you did pick a god awful time to move to the city, if I do say so myself.”

Thomas sat down on the couch and tried to make himself comfortable. It was more comfortable than the flight or the airport, at least. “I know… I considered postponing the move, but the visa was so difficult to get, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. They say this will all blow over in a couple of weeks, but borders are closing and I heard talk of them suspending all pending visa applications. I didn't know how long it would be if I waited, if the job was even still here for me at all.” Although at first entrance, the music had seemed to be a nuisance, it now comforted him. It wasn’t bad at all, in fact, it quite reminded him of the days Alastair’s playing had filled their flat…

“Where did you say you were working again? At a record company?”

“Yeah. I’m just doing pretty basic stuff for now, but if I ever do want to record my own music, I’ve got to start somewhere.”

“Hm,” Piers said, gesturing to the room the music was coming from. “Perhaps you’ll get on with him well, then. Would you like some tea?”

Thomas nodded and Piers went to start the teapot. Piers continued, “Though I suppose he's more of the tortured artist type. Very reserved, quite prickly. I didn't even meet him until a couple weeks after I moved in here because he was off in some psychiatric hospital.” Thomas shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was never one for gossip. “My other roommate’s nice, though, I think you’ll like him. He-”

“How did you end up in New York, again? I don’t think I ever asked.”

Piers dove into the subject change quite readily, explaining his uni - or college - years in New York City and his decision to stay afterwards. Thomas had tuned most of it out, truthfully. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude, but he was rather exhausted, and Piers was wearing thin on his patience.

As the kettle started to whine, Thomas heard the musician begin to sing, and he froze. It sounded so much like Alastair. But it couldn't be, could it? With over 8 million people living in the city, he would not end up in Alastair's apartment by accident. His Alastair was certainly reserved and prickly, but it wasn't possible. It must be like all those times he thought he saw him on a street he'd never walked or heard his laugh in a café he'd never been to. Just his mind, tricking him. Even if he knew that voice so well, despite not hearing it in so long.

“It’s quite good, isn’t it? His first single just dropped.” Piers asked, bringing over his cup of tea. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d been staring intently at the door.

Thomas took the cup. “Hm? Yeah, I guess. Thanks.”

“You should look it up. It’s called “champagne problems” by Simurgh. That’s spelled- Well, it should come up.”

The name Simurgh sounded familiar, but Thomas couldn’t put his finger on where he knew it from. At Piers’ insistence, he pulled out his phone and brought up the song. As he skimmed through the first few lines, a cold feeling settled in his stomach.

“You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse”

“Simurgh,” Thomas realized.

“Yeah, I think it’s Arabic or something.”

It took Thomas a moment to process that Piers was responding to him. “It’s Persian.” He was certain that Alastair would have some very stern words to say if he heard Piers confusing the two, actually. Thomas had admittedly let his Farsi skills deteriorate quite a bit since the breakup, but he was fairly certain the name came from the Shahnameh. There was no doubt in Thomas’ mind now: he was staying in Alastair’s apartment, and Alastair’s first single was about one of the most painful days in Thomas’ life. “I, er, I used to study it.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right!” Piers launched into a tangent that Thomas tuned out as he read through the rest of the page.

“Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems”

“Thomas? Are you alright?”

He realized then that his hand was trembling so badly that his tea nearly spilled. He used his other hand to steady it. “Oh, uh, yes, I’m just tired.”

“Perhaps you should rest. I can ask Alastair to quiet down for a while-”

“No!” he exclaimed rather too forcefully. “No, that’s not necessary. I’d just rather not talk, if that’s alright.”

Piers nodded.

Thomas kept reading.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems”

Of all the songs, why did he release the one about him? Why was it about a memory still so painful in Thomas’ heart, all of these years later? He remembered it so well, standing there, alone, shattered into a million pieces.

“You told your family for a reason You couldn't keep it in Your sister splashed out on the bottle Now no one's celebrating”

He was fairly certain that Barbara had been more excited than even he was, confident that Alastair would accept, and so very proud of her baby brother, all grown up. She’d been furious when it fell apart, but it was her who stood with him during the aftermath, who boarded him onto a train to Edinburgh to visit Eugenia when he couldn’t stand to be in the same city as him any longer, who went through his phone, blocking all of Alastair’s accounts so that he could obsess over him no longer, who comforted him as he wept and held him as he picked the pieces of himself back up again.

And all the more sour was the memory in light of her death.

“Dom Pérignon, you brought it No crowd of friends applauded Your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems”

He looked up at Piers, who had fortunately become enthralled with something on his phone and was no longer paying Thomas any mind. He lifted the teacup gingerly to his lips, but he felt far too sick to take a drink.

“You had a speech, you're speechless Love slipped beyond your reaches And I couldn't give a reason Champagne problems”

A reason, that’s all Thomas had wanted. Just any explanation. He understood if they were moving too fast, or perhaps he’d misread something, but he just didn’t understand it.

Why? Why can’t you tell me why? I deserve an explanation, Alastair. Please, anything.

I… I’m sorry, Thomas.

Stop it! Stop apologizing! We can just go home and pretend this never happened, please, forget about all of it, it was a stupid idea-

Thomas, stop. I shouldn’t’ve… This was a mistake. I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.

That was the moment Thomas felt his heart stop beating.

“Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure "This dorm was once a madhouse" I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me" How evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through”

Despite the nearly two decades Thomas had spent in London before Alastair, it was never the same without him. He saw him everywhere he went, despite knowing he was thousands of miles away. After graduating uni that May, he accepted a spot at a graduate program in Spain and didn’t look back.

“One for the money, two for the show I never was ready so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you "You’re the only one I want by my side, What a shame you’re fucked in the head," you said”

Those were the words that haunted Thomas’ nightmares, even now.

It’s you! It’s only you for me! It was always going to be you! But I can see now that I was never going to be enough for you, you and your secrets and walls and your lies. It’s a shame… it’s a shame you’re so fucked in the head, Alastair. You’ll never truly love anyone, will you? You’re not physically capable of it.

Alastair hadn’t responded. Thomas had wanted a rise out of him, any reaction at all, despite knowing how lethal and volatile Alastair could become when provoked. But there was nothing. Not a flicker of anything in his steeled expression. He’d simply looked down, apologized again for any pain that he’d caused, and left.

That was the last time they’d spoken.

Thomas and his sister left for Edinburgh that night, and when he’d returned to London, Alastair was gone.

“Well, you'll find the real thing instead Who'll patch up your tapestry that I shred And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems”

Thomas couldn’t imagine giving his heart to anyone again, not now and certainly not then. He’d dated in Madrid, but it had always stayed casual. He’d made sure of it. He could see now that he and Alastair had gotten together quickly, moved in together quickly, done all of it very quickly. After all, he’d fallen hard and fast. He gave all of himself to Alastair, and he’d nearly lost all of himself in the process.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket New picture in your wallet You won't remember all my Champagne problems

“You won't remember all my Champagne problems”

Now, he wondered what the rest of the story was. He’d convinced himself that Alastair had never loved him, that he was heartless and cruel, though he’d known that wasn’t true. Could Alastair have written this song if he’d never truly loved him? Perhaps he was a sociopath.

Thomas felt like he should run. Like he should pick up his bag and dart out of the apartment before Alastair could notice him, find some hotel somewhere with undoubtedly extraordinary high rates and just pretend like this never happened. He could get back on a plane and go back home to his parents and delete his phone browser history and pretend like this was all just a bad dream. But he could not move.

He didn’t know how many minutes had passed before Alastair’s door opened. He looked up with a start.

“Thomas,” Alastair breathed. He stood wide eyed, flushed.

“Do you two already know each other then?” Piers asked.

There was a moment of silence before Thomas cleared his throat. “We used to,” he said, looking down.

“I, er, I forgot that your friend was coming today,” Alastair told Piers. “It’s quite a long journey from London, you should have told me, I would have been quieter.”

Thomas considered correcting him for a moment, but decided not to. “Don’t worry about it. I heard you had your first big release. Congratulations.”

Alastair gave an awkward nod. “Thank you. Right, well, I’ll just…” He rushed over to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. “I’ll try to be a bit quieter.”

“Don’t- It’s fine, really. In fact, I’m sure there’s some hotel in the area I can stay at for now, actually-”

“Well, don’t leave on my account,” Alastair interrupted. “We agreed to let you stay here, and the city’s a bloody mess right now. I’ll stay out of your hair, Thomas.”

Thomas only nodded as Alastair disappeared back behind his bedroom door.

Thanks for reading! Taglist (ask to be +/-): @stxr-thxif @chaos-and-starlight @zosiaenrique @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @eugeniaslongsword @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @writeforjordelia @sapphic-in @jem-nasium @fortheloveofthecarstairs @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @shadowrunner2000 @thewarthatsavedmylife @fair-childd @itsjusta-j-really

#alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #tlh #the last hours #fanfic #fanfiction #champagne problems au

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