#and my aunt said when you first moved to Portland

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

Sharing this from a family text chain, because my uncle is one of those with unlimited crazy currency, and I want someone else to venture a guess what the fuck this means-

[skzhua]

Episode four.

MASTERLIST

pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female Reader

genre: Fluff, angst, enemies-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: Swearing, mentions of divorce, mentions of deceased parents, arguing. (And Min Ho gets on my nerves in this one.)

summary: Transferring to KISS was the last thing you had asked for and, yet, a certain tall boy made it seem both worse and better than you expected.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

(let me know by filling the form in my bio if you want to be added to the taglist!)

"You kicked her out?" you yelled as soon as you stepped in your dorm.

Min Ho frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Kitty. I just walked her to her new dormitory. I thought we agreed you wouldn't call Campus Police."

He got up from the couch and approached you close enough so you had to look up at him. "We agreed I wouldn't call Campus Police on you, which I didn't do. You never said anything about Portland Stalker."

"I wouldn't have minded that much but since her new dorm mate is weird as hell, I am concerned."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Then don't be? I don't get why you all worked up on this."

You groaned and left to barricade yourself in your room. First day of school went on even worse than you expected. You were startled when you phone started to ring.

"Y/N! We just wanted to check on you. So, first day?"

The excitement in your aunt's voice made you feel bad for not enjoying as much as you should. They had been trying to get you the scholarship for a while to give you the best scholar environment and you couldn't be ungrateful to them. Especially not when it was all Principal Lim's doing for allowing you to stay there.

"Great. I met up with Yuri and made some friends. Classes seem fun and I like my roommates."

They smiled through the small screen of your phone. "We're happy to hear that. Tomorrow, you have a class with me. I can't wait to see you there." your uncle said excitedly.

"Me too. I'll go to sleep now. Good night!"

"Good night, Y/N! Take care."

After changing into your pyjamas – that were surely too revealing for some people but you didn't care at this point – you went to the bathroom for your night routine. Min Ho was already there, doing his own skin care. While he didn't talk to you, he still stepped aside to leave you some space. Him checking you out didn't go unnoticed by you but you decided to not say anything about it. You brushed your teeth quickly and then proceeded to apply your primer.

"That's mine." Min Ho pointed out.

"It's not, I just brought it with me."

He chuckled. "I don't think you did. This is worth $200 and my mom got it for me."

You observed him take it from you. "You do realize I have money too, right?"

"Because of Principal Lim and Yuri? Yeah." he attempted to mock.

You took the primer back. "Because my rich parents died five years ago."

Stunned, he didn't move for an instant. While satisfied with the reaction you got from him, you began to regret spilling out about your parents. You usually kept it to yourself that even Yuri didn't know what happened.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." he said, his voice now much softer.

"It's fine."

You went back to your room immediately. You didn't want to discuss it any further, nor did you want Min Ho to be pitying you. You needed sleep, and fast.

A week went by pretty quickly. Your uncle taught your history class and you both agreed to not act like family in class, although most of the students knew you were relatives. You bonded closely with Kitty over that week and rarely ever saw Yuri since she was so busy with everything going on in her life. Plus, Kitty was avoiding her as much as possible.

You, yourself, had avoided Min Ho successfully for most part. The only times you really interacted with him were in chemistry class or in the morning where he would always make you a cup of coffee.

You were walking to the library when Kitty intercepted you.

"Help. Me."

Analyzing her appearance, you took in the bags under her eyes and the hairdo that seemed have been done last minute. You held back a laugh and Kitty simply told you you could laugh at her.

"I'm so sorry, but what is this?" you sneered and gesture her whole figure.

"My roommate is the worst human being on this planet. She eats all day, screams at night, throws tissues at me – used tissues – and I have never smelled such a horrid odor. Get me out of there."

"Have you talked to the dormitory advisors?"

"Yes but they said the girls dorm is full."

You smiled apologetically. "Then there's not much you can do, I'm afraid."

She whined. "I hate this."

"You'll be fine, I'm sure of it."

"Says the one who seems to live the perfect life with the guys. How is that going for you?"

You let out a chuckle. "Q is the sweetest and Dae is pretty respectful of my privacy. But then there's freaking Min Ho who can't seem to give me a break."

She squealed. "Oh, Min Ho! I almost forgot about him." she wiggled her eyebrows at you.

"You're so annoying." you shook your head in despair.

"I know." she snickered. "Ah, by the way. Remember how Q and I found a baby bracelet?"

"Ah, that."

"I wonder how I can find my half-sibling. Do you think they would want to meet me? Do they know our mom has passed?"

You sighed loudly. "Kitty, I love talking to you but we went over the same questions yesterday."

"Sorry." she said in a small voice. "I'm just really excited."

"I know." you gave her a smile.

"We have a watch party tomorrow evening at your dorm, by the way, if you didn't know."

"I didn't know." you frowned.

"It's normal, I just planned it with Q. You can join us. Min Ho's going to participate."

You faked a smile and walked straight to the library. She really was determined when she had a plan in mind...

Q had begged you to join the Outdoors club. While you weren't one for physical exercise, you did love enjoying nature. So you agreed to go to the first hike at least. When you considered having packed everything you needed, meaning sunscreen and a bottle of water, you went to the living area and just had to listen to Min Ho whine like a child.

"I really don't remember giving permission to Y/N to use my custom blend products. She doesn't even need to use them, she has her own stuff!"

Dae zipped up his bag and ran out the door in a second. "Sorry, man. Got to go." he said quickly before closing the door.

"Thanks, great talk!" he yelled back even though Dae couldn't hear him anymore.

He seemed to not have noticed you were in the living room as he slumped on a stool and took out his phone. He looked at it for a bit and then sighed.

"You're always busy, you're never around." he said out loud before dialing to call someone.

"My darling boy!" a female voice spoke.

"Hi, Mom! You're doing good?" he waved at the phone.

"Yeah, just about to head to set." she informed.

"I miss you."

Your heart warmed up from the cute interaction. You were happy to know he had a great relationship with his mother, which you wished you still had.

"But since you're more important, should I tell them to wait?"

He paused for an instant. "No, it's okay. Let's just talk next time."

"Okay, kisses."

He hummed as the call ended. His head down, he folded his phone and breathed out. He kept the same position and you noticed that his jaw clenched.

"Your mom seems sweet."

He turned to look at you and was suddenly alert of his surroundings. "You heard?"

"Not on purpose, I was getting ready for the hike."

"I see. Yeah, my mom's great."

"That's good." you awkwardly went to the front door and put on your shoes while he stood still at the counter, not having moved much. "See you later, Min Ho."

"See you."

When you joined the group outside, you were surprised to see Kitty already stretching out. You walked up to her and asked what she was doing there.

"Q suggested I joined the club so I can have some time with Dae without Yuri around." she explained. "As friends, you know?"

"That's a good idea, yeah." you nodded in agreement.

Q was quick to arrive and encouraged everyone present to do some stretching beforehand. Dae then arrived as well and was surprised to see Kitty there. He joined her the moment he laid eyes on her and she explained to him that she wanted to stay friends. But it was rapidly ruined when Yuri spawned out of nowhere like a character in a video game. She interrupted their conversation and led Dae away from Kitty.

"Do I really have to hear from Min Ho that you're hanging out with Kitty?" you overheard her say.

Just when you thought the man had some sort of feelings behind his pretty face, he had to pull a move like this. Kitty changed spots and, after sending a glare to Yuri's direction, you moved as well and positioned yourself next to Q.

"Alright, who's ready to go on a hike?"

And Min Ho spawned too, and just right next to you. You were about to question him on his presence but Dae was as perplexed as you were and asked him first.

"What? I can't hang out with my best friends?"

You rolled your eyes at his behaviour. If there wasn't anyone else around, you'd definitely be beating the shit out of him. And what annoyed you even more was Madison coming up to him with a flirtatious look on her face. Though he surprised you by not looking so thrilled with her advances. You were thankful that Q started the hike soon later and you stuck with Kitty to avoid having to witness Madison almost drooling over Min Ho. It also allowed Kitty herself to forget about Yuri's presence.

"You guys are making great time. Let's keep with the pace, people!" Q encouraged proudly as you were almost to the top.

Walking behind Yuri, you almost walked into her when she stopped so suddenly and let out a yell. She jumped around trying to get worms off her and Kitty took the opportunity to go see Dae.

"We're in nature, embrace it." Q tried to get some sense into her but she kept on yelling.

"They're just worms, Yuri." you said but in vain, she wasn't hearing you.

"Is it on me? I thought the worm followed me, where is it?" she talked to herself.

"I'm surprised you aren't the one screaming about bugs." Min Ho joked as he joined your side.

You moaned in annoyance. "I'm not talking to you."

"Why not?"

"I think you can answer that yourself." you spat out.

Not looking in front of you properly, you didn't see that Kitty had tripped. Luckily, Dae caught her but as for you, you halted your moves too fast and fell backwards. And again, Min Ho was the one who caught you in time.

"So clumsy." he tsked at you.

You quickly broke away from him and cleared your throat. Meanwhile, Yuri interrupted the duo in front of you and Q went on about safety before walking again. You definitely regretted coming here.

"You still haven't answered my question."

"What question?" you acted clueless.

Min Ho chuckled. "So we're being petty now?"

"I'm always petty with you." you argued.

"You weren't this morning."

You groaned, growing impatient with him. "Can't you leave me alone for a day?"

He didn't know what to respond and you took it as he understood the message. With that being said, you fastened your pace and arrived next to Dae.

"Hey." he smiled at you.

"Not in the mood, just walk."

The poor guy gulped but listened to you and didn't speak to you again. But your hike was halted once again when Kitty and Yuri started to run to the end.

"Just, make sure that you stick together!" Q yelled at them.

"I'm pretty sure they can't hear you." you smiled at him sadly.

"I know." he shrugged.

Min Ho then went to Dae causing you to walk away from them. You hated this, all of it.

"Why did you come?" Dae complained to his friend.

"Because I'm looking out for you, that's why I called Yuri."

"Let me deal with it on my own."

Dae came next to you again, visibly avoiding the man as much as you were.

"So much drama." you heard Madison from behind.

"No one asked." you said loudly for her to hear.

With Kitty running away from the hike, you went on with the watch party without her. After Q set up everything, he sat next to Florian while you sat on the floor to let them have their moment. Focused on the screen, you were disappointed to get interrupted by Min Ho walking out of his room.

"Hey! My mom is in this. She plays the king's second daughter."

"Nice, now shut it." you said rudely but he dismissed your request as Florian asked him about her.

"Does she still act?"

"Oh, yeah. She's absolutely smashing it right now in LA. She's up for a role as a mermaid in the mafia."

"Great, can you go now?" you asked, insistent since you didn't want him to be ruining Q's moment just like he had done with Kitty.

He ignored you again and walked to the couch, asking Florian to scooch over to leave him space to sit.

"Oh, I could give you, guys, the behind-the-scenes dirt on this." he continued and you mentally cursed at him.

"Okay, I love dirt." Florian replied.

He finally shut it for a while and you thanked whoever for it. As per usual, it didn't last long.

"It took that guy twenty takes to nail that."

You threw your head back in disbelief. Was he that clueless to not get a hint? The thousands of glares he got from you and Q weren't enough?"

"Oh, hey, look! It's my mom."

"Oh, wow." Florian commented. "She's gorgeous."

"I know! Thank God I got her bone structure."

"Taking any opportunity to make it about yourself, uh?" you turned to look at him.

The infamous smirk was already there. "Always."

"Wait..." one of the other guys said. "Didn't your mom and dad have that messy divorce?"

"The whole mess was exaggerated to sell magazines." he said in defense right away. "But yeah, they did get divorced."

That part was said which a much calmer tone, it sounded almost sad to you. Determining that it was enough of him ruining Q's evening, you let out a long breath.

"Okay, we get the point." you announced as you got up. "Your mom's an actress, it's great and all but I need to talk with you."

You took him by the arm and forced him up. He tried to stay at his seat but you were stronger than he expected. So he let you forcefully get him off the couch and you dragged him back to his room, not forgetting to close the door.

"Is it the moment that we're supposed to kiss after you reveal you have a crush on me?"

You scoffed. "So you really do think about yourself all the time. I was saving your ass from talking any more about your parents and that's how you thank me?"

He smiled with a knowing look. "So you do care about me."

"I care more about Q. Tonight was for him to make a move on Florian but you couldn't shut it."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?"

You deadpanned at him. "Really? Ah, you're killing me."

"Fine, maybe I did get the message but I'm looking out for my friend."

"Yeah, just like you're looking out for Dae when it's none of your business."

"Y/N, this isn't your business either."

You huffed. "You're damn right it isn't but for some reason, I get dumped with all of it and it's a hassle to carry so many drama when it doesn't even involve me."

"Just go away then!" he snapped at you. "If it's that hard to deal with."

Your jaw clenched as you stayed still, glaring at one another. You scoffed once more and left his room without adding anything else. It took you aback when you heard him follow you. The other guys had already left so only Q remained in the living room. That made arguing less embarrassing.

"Y/N." You stopped and waited for him to continue. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

You went to hide in your room and you heard him sighed in defeat. You didn't know what was up with him today but it only confirmed to you that you wanted nothing to do with him.

taglist: @nanaspalette | @schniti-is-in-the-house | @bakugou-katsukis-wife |@soobin-chois | @honeydewpie

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[whostolemygoldfish]

I have a story, that I was reminded of by a poll about purses.

So my great aunt died from cancer in early 2020 from lung cancer. It came out of the blue, because she was only in her early sixties and had never smoked, and was always healthy, except for her slight leg issues which she had a cane for. I live in the middle of nowhere, right on the Washington/Oregon border on the east side of the state. She grew up here too with all of her sisters, however she moved to Portland and lived there since the eighties or nineties. She always came home for summers, holidays, parties, and she was a big part of all of it. She always had an old little digital camera that she constantly took photos with.

I got in my car and drove four hours in the middle of the night right after I got the call from my grandma saying that she'd passed. I spent the next few days in Portland mourning and cleaning out her house with my family, and my life was a dark blur. The will was read and I got a small sum of money, not that I cared much about it, but I also got her camera. She left it to me in particular. I went and found the camera in her bedroom, it was in her little brown leather bag that she always carried it with. It didn't work, no matter what I did, and I was devastated.

So, I took it to a little electronics store in downtown Portland to see if I could get the photos off of it. I'm sure when I walked in I looked like hell, my hair was wild with curls and my green dyed section had faded, and my eye bags were probably just as dark as my all black mourning clothes. They guy at the counter, maybe a few years older than me, asked what I needed and I explained. I'm sure there was some tears, but I was too tired to notice. He said he'd do it for free, because he could see it really mattered. So i waited. It was about an hour later when the guy walked out from the back of the store, with a sim card in hand. At least I think it was a sim. I'm not good with stuff like that, hell I can barely run my phone sometimes. He handed it to me after putting it in an envelope with a smile, and I drove back to her house.

I was staying in her living room on a blow up mattress, my cousins had already taken the couch and the other blow up mattresses, and my grandma and her other sisters were sleeping in the other two bedrooms, her office, and a hotel down the street. You really feel it when you're surrounded by her, in her house. I sat down on my impromptu bed and pulled out my crappy little laptop and got one of my cousins to help me get all of the photos on to it.

And there it was. Thirty years of photos. My mom's fifth grade graduation was some of the first photos on it. Then there was her and my three uncle's middle school and highschool years, all laid out in their grainy glory. Next was my mom's collage dorm, and then my tiny newborn body laying in the hospital. My mom was only twenty when she had me. My cousins when they were first born, too. Then our entire lives. Every Christmas, every beach vacation, every birthday, every wedding, of anyone we've ever known was all in film right before our eyes. We cried all together on the floor there. Me, my cousins, and my little brother.

I brought them home, and had them all printed. They were at her funeral. Now they sit in a small seashell box, she loved the beach. I carry the little bag that the camera was in as my purse, and it makes me think of her every time I use it, and I smile.

Love you, aunt Sal.

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Grimm 1x01

*Hank is a confirmed Shutterbug.

*Hank has been married 4 times. I always forget.

*Nick seeing his first woge in the first minute of the episode is a Good Call. Also, my heart at him buying that ring for Juliette. The ring Juliette will never wear.

*Also Nick the profiler. AU where Nick, Audrey, and Will are just cops together and Lucy is the local history professor who gets caught up in their cases.

*"I didn't know you couldn't sing." Their friendship my HEART.

*The Time Wars crossovers are turning into the Big Four of Back in the Day.

*Oooooo the aunt Marie introduction! Played like a villain! Like Ashley! Saving the reveal for later on!

*"Do you have a photo of her?" "Uh, yeah, on my iPhone." Literally Nobody would say it like that.

*.... Nick and Lucy could have met taking Carol and Marie to treatments. .... Except for the whole "different states" thing.

*Marie couldn't move for a week when she saw her first Wesen. We know from later on that she was 11. My HEART.

*Nick killing his first Wesen with the power of "shooting him a whole bunch of times"

*THE KEY. Ohhhh the keys my beloved storyline.

*AU where Meg transfers out of Old City to get a from the Weirdness and ends up working in a Portland hospital. And then her first patient is Aunt Marie.

*Might just let four narratives entwine irrevocably and change each other forever. Idk.

*Renard looking out for Nick... I know he has Ulterior Motives and everything, but to a point, he really does treat his men as his People, under his protection. I think there's some sincerity in that.

*Cannot get over the fact that one of the biggest images from the ads for this-Juliette running through the woods in a red dress-is from a three second dream that has no bearing on the show ever.

*"I think it was just a cat." Juliette, having no idea that a cat will change the course of her life forever.

*Oh, right, Marie was a librarian at one point.

*Hank being the one to figure out that the girl went through the park.... Is very important to me. Nick knows people. But Hank's not just someone who tags along. He's a really good cop.

*R.H. Robin Howell. Red (riding) Hood. I'd forgotten how Specific this show gets sometimes.

*Monroe and Nick's first meeting was so bad, guys. So, so bad. I always forget how truly bad it was. I remember the tackle through the window, but that was the second meeting. The first... Oof.

*"And by the way, you're paying for that window."

*"You people started profiling us over 200 years ago." Given how the show progresses, this has the same mood as that post about Julius Ceasar dying well over 70 years ago. Or was that Abraham Lincoln? Anyway, that.

*"No, I'm here because of the little girl." And "We're not things." . Very similar to Will's "You said you were tracking the boy," and later, Magnus' "I'm not sure how he'd feel about you calling him a thing." Just. Similar.

*Okay but Monroe and Nick's dynamic is made 10x funnier by the fact that Monroe is 10 years older than Nick. Just. Very Tired Guy Does Not Get Paid Enough For This Nonsense. (But yes, obviously he's going to help. Just, for goodness' sake, could you please learn to go to bed at a reasonable time?)

*See, Hank and Joe have very similar roles: The grounded partner to contrast the one who sees the Impossible. The voice of reason to keep the out there one grounded. But whereas Joe is basically a paper cutout designed to look ridiculous while Will looks smart, Hank is a really intelligent man and an excellent cop.

*Wait Adalind really just straight-up tried to kill Marie right in front of Nick? Like, you couldn't have waited until visiting hours were over? You were disguised as a nurse, so it wouldn't have caused you problems.

*"Let's hope she doesn't wake up first." * Immediate cut to Marie opening her eyes* Brilliant episode ending tbh.

[voicesdigitlyme]

Why are most foreigners leaving the Philippines?

This is an excerpt of my story, followed by a few others that have not been scrubbed from the net, by the Philippine division of Tourism. I have found many of these on different sites, and if you have thoughts of moving there, you should search for them yourself. I am putting this together to hopefully warn others, as most articles, as I said, are being actively scrubbed from the net. Many, many of them are written by Filipino's. I lived in the Philippines for 7 years. I am currently married to my second Filipina wife of 10 years. My 1st Filipina wife and I were married 6 years here in the U.S, but after retiring 1 year in the Philippines we divorced. She could not handle the pressure from her family for money and chose them over me. Her aunt who lives in Canada, on her first visit to us in Portland, had taken me aside and spent an hour trying to warn me. In the Philippines I had a tilapia pond, a piggery from which I sold gas made from pig poop, a Soul Food restaurant, and bought a house (I thought). I used to have an expat only Sunday open movie and grill. I saved 1 expat from being killed by the Tanod (local night watch) because he found that the girl he was engaged to, had her husband living in the apartment complex she had him build. 1 other expat was killed because he stopped loaning money to his wife’s family and another American was killed when he tried to help an out numbered security guard. The Filipino’s got 6 months jail time, the judge said he should have minded his own business. Jessica Soho, a local news person there, did some pieces on foreigners who where lured to the Philippines then raped and robbed, many of them retiree’s who did not have resources to leave who became beggers on the streets. The Philippine government stated, if they were stupid enough to get robbed, they deserve it. I still have friends “Trapped” there, but many found a way to leave. When I say trapped I mean, they invested their whole retirement there and have no financial way of getting out. After I was stripped and clipped, I went to Angeles city where I met my current wife, who kept me alive until I could come back here. Once here, I got her out and we’ve been happy ever since, 10 years as of 2013. We built a nice house for her parents there and talked about maybe going to live, but she over time found also that she could not live there anymore, because of the pressure. It was a good adventure and I have stories to tell, but No Way would I go there again. I have a daughter there from a relationship I had, that I am currently struggling to get out. Wish me luck…………. Tony Christian Ratcliffe ·  Former Technical trainer A few of my friends that still live or did live in the Philippines have told me the things that they find make living in the Philippines challenging. These are guys that vary from 30 somethings who came over for a holiday or to work and decided to stay and set up businesses to retirees who were travelling, sometimes with family and decided to stay. Some of the latter are now in their 80s: I lived there, based in Manila from 2015 until 2022 and met many people both ex pats and locals. I found the country both frustrating and charming. Here are my thoughts. You’re never fully accepted into the country. For example during covid a friend who’d lived in the Philippines for over 30 years was told to go home when he arrived home (Scotland) after a trip aboard. You’ll often be viewed as a cash cow and are expected to contribute to everything from local functions to staff and their extended families hospital bills and weddings (check the same person hasn’t died multiple times) but you’ll often get little or anything in return. The rule of law works against you but not for you. If you do wrong you’ll get big fines and need to employ local lawyers to act on your behalf but if you’re wrongly done by you’ll still need to pay to receive any help. Example, you pay taxes and give money to the community, Barangay, the local police, fire brigade etc but if you have a fire there’ll be demands for payment if you want the fire dealt with and if you’re home is robbed you’ll be expected to hand over some money if you want a real investigation. Bribes, fixer fees and kickbacks are so commonplace that they’re sometimes requested as if they’re nothing out of the ordinary at all. If you’re involved in an accident you’ll almost always be at fault, even if you weren’t. I had a motorbike rider ran straight into the wing of my car as I was driving into my workplace car park. He was riding along in the cycling lane and didn’t take notice of the security guard and stop like the rest of the traffic. I was worried about him then about myself as an angry mob who hadn’t even seen the accident gathered. One guy started yelling at me and was getting very aggressive. Thankfully our security guard and a workmate sorted the situation out. The security guard pointed out that the whole incident was on my dash cam and was being recorded on the worksite cameras and my workmate countered his aggressive behaviour with his own. The rider was escorted to the hospital three doors away but didn’t go in. Others tell of stories where one occupant in a car or tricycle has turned into five, all with injuries and where stopping to help when a car in front has veered off of the road has ended up with them being accused of causing the accident. Lesson learnt/learned, be aware that you’re not in your home country and some see you as an easy target. You’re responsible for the actions of people that you employ. One friend employed a young local guy that he felt sorry for because he’d been kicked out of his job and had no money or place to stay. Two years later the guy was drinking too much and causing problems. My friend had already dismissed him from employment because of this but was told by the local police that if he causes problems or damage my friend must pay for his actions. My friend contacted the guys family but they didn’t want anything to do with their son. This is still going on. You cannot own land, only the property on the land and sometimes the person that sold you the property didn’t have the right to sell you it in the first place. You can only own a 40% share in a business meaning that you can lose your business due to a 60/40 take over. It’s also hard to find work when there’s a Filipinos first employment rule in place. Then of course there’s the constant corruption, endless red tape, unexpected hurdles and the general lack of consistency and moving of goalposts. Plus things are always broken or not available. Healthcare can also be a reason to leave. Although there are some good hospitals and doctors they’re only in the biggest cities and all of them are private. I heard many stories of serious misdiagnosis, surgeons being knife happy and queues of doctors unnecessarily visiting patients rooms just to add their fees. Not something that you’d want as a someone getting on in years and living on a budget. And we haven’t even touched on the weather which varies from oppressively hot to torrential deluges. The terrible traffic (which seems to be improving). And threat of the “Big one” earthquake hitting anytime soon. Yes, life in the Philippines can be fun, but it is also a very frustrating place and a challenge. Anyone who is initially wowed by the hospitable people, hot weather, nice beaches and cheap living cost’s doesn’t have the full picture. Edit additional. If you read the replies below you will see how some have reacted to what I’ve written. Many along the lines of “If you don’t like it you can leave”, ”Toughen up”, “Why should we pander to your wishes” or “It’s like that everywhere in SE Asia”. THE QUESTION IS “”WHY ARE FOREIGNERS LEAVING THE PHILIPPINES”! It is not “What don’t you like about the Philippines” or “What do I think is wrong with the Philippines” or even “Why did you choose to leave the Philippines”. I’m simply answering the question the best I can with my own opinion and experiences and that told to me by the many foreigners that I got to know when I lived there, of which many I still keep in contact with. Some are still there, some have left and some have since passed away. I know Filipinos are emotional and don’t like criticism but this question is not going to generate a happy, smiley, singing and dancing showtime response. The fact is that many long term resident foreigners are deciding to leave. These foreigners obviously chose to move to the Philippines for positive reasons and they don’t generally leave because things are so great! I sometimes wonder if foreigners who’ve been involved in the other side of the law may in some ways fit in better because they’re more likely to understand how the underbelly of the place works. K Cee · Tue Sadly, you’re correct. Probably 100% correct. I was born here but left when I was 3 years old. I became an American citizen at 13 y/o and decided to move back to Philippines to pursue a Nursing education. I’m now 25 and am now a dual citizen( just recently graduated and am about to head back to USA soon). Living here for the past 5 years, I can certainly see EXACTLY what you mean. I love Philippines, but It’s a mess. I choose to love it for what it is, the good and the inherently bad. Sometimes (and I know I’ll get some heat for this), wish that the Philippines became a U.S. territory….maybe it could have been molded differently.

Loving Retirement · Sep 8 1. Philippines is a beautiful country, with beautiful and kind hearted people, with much variety in culture and facial features. I used to come here to relax from the Vietnam War, but now I've lived here since 2017 (6 years). I'd like to see the government put these big tummy guys to work cleaning up the seashore with all the filth and plastics, polluting the sea and environment. This would be endless employment that would have a multiplier effect on the Philippines economy. These guys are just sitting around all day making babies that they don't provide for. 2. Medical care and medicine is very inexpensive here, but just any of the professional sectors you avail, the skill levels are very much antiquated, and lacking. Example, be prepared to get stuck at least 10 times for blood draw. You don't need a script for most meds. You can self-diagnose. They have no medical database, so they have no idea if you're overdosing on anything. I don't care how much pain you're in, they don't have Hydrocodone or Oxycodone. Suck it up my friends. 3. Banking in the Philippines is atrocious, from long queues, to signing your signature 50 times and must be exact; plus you have limited access to your money. IMF is on the Philippines like a cheap, wet, polyester suit. 4. Men urinating on the wall like a dog. It doesn't matter if children, little school girls, or grandmas are passing by. Public restrooms are unavailable, so the men will whip it out and urinate anywhere. Policemen, traffic enforcers, Ceres bus drivers, jeepney drivers, tricycle drivers, taxi drivers, it doesn't matter. They all piss on the wall or tree. 5. Food sanitation, lack of handwashing, food storage, lots of bacteria (guard your tummy. Takes a while to build good gut biome here so you can eat without diarrhea hehe). 6. Forget about eating healthy here. Most foods are fried in fat, innards, skin, hard to get a salad or vegetables, vegetables are terribly expensive, carb overload always, and oily, oily, oily. 7. Driving is nightmarish. OMG. Forget about the rules of driving. Doesn't apply in Philippines. 8. Dusty, dirty, environment mostly, unless you visit the tourist beaches. Lots of burning of plastics etc. Dogs barking and roosters crowing 24/7. Roosters here overwork themselves. Karaoke loud is a norm. Expect it. Embrace it. 9. If it's not on the menu, don't ask for it. You're not gonna get it. 10. Customer service is extremely lacking. Once they bring your food, don't expect to see them again. They will be talking and playing with each other, picking gray hairs, and mites out of each other's hair, etc. You will jump up and down for for water, coffee, tea, or your bill. Be prepared to wait 20 minutes for your bill after asking for it. 11. Meetings and Technicians will not be on time, will not call you, and mostly will not do a good job. Keep your patience. It's common to be late, not show up, not call. Just roll with it. Even if you pay your bill online, they won't know it for 10 days, so they will cut off your service, even though you paid before the due date. 12. Keep your calm when they first meet you and without introducing themselves, or asking your name, they will start probing into your personal life. I usually ask them if they are NBI (NOT LIKE OUR FBI). Then they laugh. Or I will say, "Hi, my name is ............... What is your name?" 13. They borrow money like crazy. They are always loaded in debt. 14. If you get really sick here, fly home if you can. They won't even triage you without a big deposit. Plus you need to have someone with you to fetch your medicine. 15. Once you buy something, example a TV, if you change your mind they might take it back before you leave the store; but if you leave the store, even if the box is unopened, forget about it. You cannot get your money back. 16. Bring toilet paper with you wherever you go. Never assume the restroom will have toilet paper or something to dry your hands. Maybe no handsoap. Sometimes, there's a bar of soap. If you refuse to use it, they will look at you as if you're crazy. 17. I employ people. Don't expect people to come to work. They have a million excuses; and make sure you keep track of how many grandmas have died, and the dates. Girl will have dysmenorrhea and LBM every week because they think you did not write down their last period. 18. I love the Philippines, and its people. These are just a few of the things I would like to see fixed to make this country more enjoyable. Read the full article

[bechloeislegit]

My Spy - Chapter 10

Beca sat in the reception area while Amy spoke with Agent Parker. She couldn't help but get lost in thoughts of Chlo and how close they were to being a couple again.

"Fingers crossed," Beca mumbled to herself.

"Miss Mitchell?" Jason called out, getting Beca's attention.

Beca looked up, surprised as Amy had only been gone about ten minutes. She looked past Amy to see Agent Parker standing by the door Amy just walked out from.

"Um, yeah?" Beca said, looking at him.

"May I speak to you for a moment?" Jason asked.

"Uh, sure," Beca said, standing and walking over to Jason. "What's up?"

"Would you come with me, please?" Jason said as he held the door open.

Beca looked over at Amy; Amy just shrugged.

Beca stepped through the door and Jason followed, moving past her to lead her to a small conference room.

"I don't know anything about Amy's father," Beca said, sitting in the chair Jason held out for her. "Or his illegal activities. I mean, up until all this started happening, I thought both her parents were dead."

"I didn't ask you back here to talk about Miss Hobart or her father," Jason said, taking the seat opposite Beca.

"Oh," Beca said. "Then why am I here?"

"I wanted to personally apologize for what happened the other night," Jason said. "I was just following orders, but it was wrong of me to just show up and expect you to answer questions. Chloe was right. I should have just asked Miss Hobart to come in for a conversation. If I had done that, then maybe Chloe would still be an agent and I wouldn't have lost a good friend."

"What?" Beca squeaked. "Chloe got fired?"

"No," Jason said quickly. "She quit."

"Really?" Beca asked. "So, Chloe no longer works for the FBI?"

"That's right," Jason said. "She is with her aunt in Portland now-"

"I know," Beca interrupted. "I spoke with her this morning. She just didn't mention anything about quitting."

Jason looked at Beca. He ran a hand through his hair, sighed, and asked, "Is she okay? She's not taking my calls or responding to my texts."

"She's worried about her aunt," Beca said. "But otherwise she seems to be okay."

"Thank you," Jason said. "If you speak to her again will you please tell her I'm sorry? And, to I want to say again that I am sorry for ambushing you."

"I'll tell her," Beca said. "And, I understand you were following orders, so I kind of accept your apology. But don't expect Chloe to forgive you so easily. She didn't say it, but I could tell she feels betrayed by you and her uncle. You guys treated me like I was a, um, what do you call them? A perp? Even after Chloe told you to back off and find another way to get to Amy's father. Ignoring all that was disrespectful to her as an agent and as your friend. So, I suggest you give her some space, and maybe she'll be able to forgive you in time."

"I can do that," Jason said as he stood. "Thank you for hearing me out. I'll walk you out."

Beca and Jason silently walked back to the reception area. Jason held the door open for Beca. As Beca started to walk out, Jason grabbed her arm, stopping her. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a card.

"Please take my card," Jason said, holding the card out to Beca. "And, if you ever need anything, and I mean anything, please don't hesitate to call me."

Beca took the card and looked at it. "Um, thank you."

Amy, who had jumped up when Beca came through the door, stood waiting for Beca to come to her.

"Did he ask you about my dad?" Amy asked as soon as Beca reached her. "What did you tell him?"

"No, he didn't ask me about your dad. He apologized for what happened with Chloe the other night," Beca said, moving toward the exit. "Come on. I'll tell you about it over lunch. And, you can tell me what you two talked about."

"Okay," Amy said, following Beca.

~~ My Spy ~~

Chloe and her Uncle Matt sat silently in the hospital waiting room. They were able to see Peggy before she was taken down for surgery and Chloe was glad she was able to be there for her.

"Thank you," Matt blurted out, looking at Chloe. "I didn't think you'd forgive me for what happened with Beca."

"I haven't," Chloe responded without looking at him. "Don't think for one second that I'm here for you or that I've forgiven you. I'm here for Aunt Peggy and only Aunt Peggy."

"I know," Matt said and cleared his throat. "I was just trying to say-"

"I don't care about what you were trying to say," Chloe interrupted, looking at him. "I'm not interested in hearing it."

"So, you're serious about quitting?" Matt asked.

Chloe turned and looked at him. "What part of me telling you to 'go fuck yourself, I quit,' do you not fully understand?"

Matt swallowed and looked down at the floor. "I am sorry about all that."

"I'm sure you are," Chloe said. "I just don't understand why you did it. I've put so much into being a good agent and trying to make you proud of me and you treated me like I was nobody to you. I guess it was naive of me to think that we were family first, and agents second. The only reason I'm even talking to you now is that I spoke to Beca this morning and there's still a chance for us to be together despite what you and Jason did."

"I know you won't believe me," Matt said. "But I am glad to hear that."

Chloe went to respond but was stopped when a doctor called out, "Collins family?"

Chloe and Matt both stood and made their way to the doctor.

"I'm Matt Collins," Matt said. "Peggy Collins' husband."

"I'm Dr. Maxwell," the doctor said. "I performed the surgery on Mrs. Collins. The pacemaker is in and everything went well. She shouldn't have any complications, but we'll keep her overnight for observation. And, if things continue the way they are going, she can go home tomorrow afternoon. Is there someone who can stay with her for at least the next week?"

"I'll be there," Chloe said, quickly. "I can take care of her."

Matt didn't say anything; he just looked at Chloe.

"That's fine," Dr. Maxwell said, looking at Chloe. "She'll need to take it easy for the next week. I'll send some instructions home with her so you'll know what she should or should not be doing. Do you have any questions?"

Chloe shook her head.

"Can we see her?" Matt asked.

"She should be coming out of recovery in just a bit," Dr. Maxwell said. "I'll ask a nurse to notify you when she's back in her room. Is there anything else?"

"I can't think of anything," Matt said. "Thank you, doctor."

The doctor gave a brief nod before turning and walking away.

"Well, that's a relief," Chloe said.

"Yes, it is," Matt said. "Thank you for agreeing to stay and help."

"I'm only planning to stay until Aunt Peggy is back on her feet," Chloe said. "I'll be looking for a new job while she recuperates. And then I'm gone wherever my new job takes me."

"Don't take what I did out on your Aunt Peggy," Matt said.

"I wasn't going to do that," Chloe said. "I will call and visit as much as I can. I just don't want to have anything to do with you."

With that, Chloe turned and went back to sit in the waiting room to wait until she could see her Aunt Peggy.

~~ My Spy ~~

Beca and Amy had placed their orders and were sitting in their favorite diner, talking about what the FBI told Amy about her father.

"So, they think your dad's a major arms dealer?" Beca asked. "And that he's trying to smuggle guns into the U.S.?"

"Yeah," Amy said. "But I don't know anything about that. I did mention that he used to sell drugs to all my High School friends. They seemed very interested in that."

"Oh, my God, Ames," Beca said, laughing. "You ratted out your own father?"

"I didn't mean to," Amy said, laughing as well. "It just slipped out. I told them I didn't have anything to do with that either. I only found out about his drug dealing when one of my friends asked me if I got my drugs from my dad for free. I didn't take drugs then or now, so they had to explain to me that everyone at my school got their drugs from my dad or one of his dealers."

"So, are they going to leave you alone now?" Beca asked.

"I guess," Amy responded. "They let me leave, so I guess they're done with me."

Amy and Beca were silent as the waitress placed their food in front of them. They thanked the waitress and began eating.

"So, you said Agent Parker apologized," Amy said. "What did you tell him? Did you accept his apology?"

"Kinda," Beca said. "I told him that I understood he was following orders, but what he did was disrespectful to Chloe and that she deserved to be treated better than that."

Beca paused as she took a sip of water. She then added, "And, I still can't believe her uncle ordered him to do it."

"Family sucks sometimes," Amy said.

"Amen to that," Beca said, raising her glass toward Amy.

~~ My Spy ~~

The first thing Chloe did when she got back to the house that night was Skype Beca.

"Hey," Beca answered. "I was just thinking about calling you, but this is so much better. I miss seeing your face. How did your aunt's surgery go?"

"It went well," Chloe responded, smiling at Beca. "She has to stay overnight but will be coming home tomorrow."

"That's good," Beca said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well," Chloe said. "So, how was your day?"

"It was a day," Beca said. "I went to the FBI office with Amy. She spoke with Agent Parker and answered questions about her father. She voluntarily went in because she wanted to do it on her own terms."

"Good for her," Chloe said. "How did it go?"

"She doesn't know anything about her father's dealings," Beca said. "So, it was a very short conversation. Funny thing, after Agent Parker was done he asked to speak to me."

"I told him you didn't know anything," Chloe said, her voice tight. "And that he should leave you alone. I swear the next time I see him, I'm going to punch him."

"That won't be necessary," Beca said, chuckling. "He apologized for crashing our date. He also asked me to ask you to call him so he can apologize to you, too."

"Oh, that was good of him," Chloe said. "But I don't think I'm going to be calling him anytime soon. I am still pissed about the whole thing."

"I get that," Beca said. "And I don't blame you. He, uh, he also told me you quit the FBI."

"I did."

"I hope it wasn't because of me."

"You were part of the reason. I mostly quit because of the way they treated me."

"Okay. I just wanted to be sure." Beca took in a breath and let it out. "So, um, how did you get the scar on your cheek?"

Chloe chuckled. "An arrest the went a bit sideways."

"Tell me about it," Beca said. "Wait, let me get more comfortable."

Chloe watched as Beca moved around to lie back against the back of the sofa bed, setting her laptop on her legs as she looked at Chloe on her screen. Beca let out a comfortable sigh.

"Comfy now, Princess?" Chloe asked, chuckling lightly.

"As a matter of fact, I am," Beca said, smirking. "You may proceed, babe."

Chloe's breath hitched. "I always loved when you called me babe. I didn't realize how much I missed it until now."

"Play your cards right," Beca said. "And, I'll be calling you babe a lot more and often."

"Can't wait," Chloe said, sighing heavily as she added, "God, I've missed you."

"I miss you, too," Beca said softly. "You know what I miss the most about you?"

"The amazing sex?"

"Yes, that too," Beca said with a soft chuckle. "But that's not what I was referring to."

"Okay," Chloe said chuckling as well. "What do you miss most about me?"

"Your smile," Beca said. "Your smile always makes me feel better."

"You're such a cheeseball," Chloe said, smiling at Beca. "I guess it's my turn to be cheesy. The thing I miss the most is your hugs. You were a bit standoffish about hugs at first, but you quickly realized that I was a force to be reckoned with when it came to hugs. Oh, and the sex, of course." She let out a breathy sigh. "God, I miss having sex with you."

"Same," Beca said, her cheeks reddening.

The two sat staring at each other. The sound of a key in the door caused Beca to look away from the screen. She watched as Amy came through the door.

"Um, Amy just got home, so I guess I should go," Beca said, her eyes back on Chloe.

"Okay," Chloe said. "Could you send me your itinerary for when you're in Europe? I want to know when I can call or Skype you."

"I expect to talk to you some more before we leave," Beca said.

"Hey, Chloe," Amy said, laying on the sofa bed to see Chloe on Beca's laptop screen.

"Hi, Amy," Chloe said and got quiet.

"Oh-kay," Amy said, getting off the bed. "I'll let you two get back to it."

"Um, okay," Beca said, looking back at Chloe. "Call me when you have some time to talk again."

"I will," Chloe said. "I, um, I love you."

"I love you, too," Beca said, scowling as Amy started making kissing noises in the background.

Chloe could hear Amy and laughed. She stared at Beca for a moment before reluctantly ending the Skype call.

~~ My Spy ~~

Over the next three days, Beca and Chloe managed to talk every night. They had scheduled a Skype dinner date for tonight, so they were sitting in their respective homes with their dinner plates and laptops in front of them.

They had finished their food and were just enjoying each other's company when Beca cleared her throat and looked a bit nervous.

"You okay, Beca?" Chloe asked, sipping her wine.

"I quit my job today," Beca blurted out. "I just couldn't take it anymore."

"Wow," Chloe said. "How are you feeling about that?"

"I actually feel good about it," Beca said. "It was something I've been wanting to do."

"What are you going to do now? I mean for work."

"I don't really know. I'll worry about it when we get back from the USO Tour."

"You could always move to L.A.," Chloe said. "That was always your dream."

"I'll think about that," Beca said. "So, um, where are you looking to find a job?"

"I hear L.A. is a good place to work," Chloe said. "I could very easily be persuaded to move there."

"Really?" Beca asked, staring at Chloe.

"Yes, really," Chloe said, chuckling. "Maybe we can move to L.A. together. As in move in together."

Beca smiled and said, "I'd like that."

"Me, too," Chloe said. "I'll start looking for a job now. I'll keep you posted on how things go."

"Chloe?" Aunt Peggy's voice called out from her bedroom.

"I'm sorry, Beca," Chloe said. "Aunt Peggy is calling for me. I think it's about time for her medicine."

"No worries," Beca said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay?"

"Definitely," Chloe said. "I love you."

"Love you, too, babe," Beca said and ended the call.

Chloe sighed and went to check on her Aunt Peggy.

~~ My Spy ~~

Beca and Chloe continued to talk almost every day. Beca had been in Europe for a few days when Chloe's Aunt Peggy was talking to her Uncle Matt.

"I can't believe you think Chloe will go for this," Peggy said into her phone.

"I just need to talk to her," Matt said. "Tell her what's happening and let her decide what she wants to do about it."

"Fine," Peggy said. "I'll get her for you."

Peggy got out of bed and carried her phone to the living room.

"Did you need something Aunt Peggy?" Chloe asked when she saw Peggy standing in the doorway.

"Your uncle wants to talk to you," Peggy said, holding her phone out toward Chloe. "I know you're still upset over what happened between you two and don't blame you one bit if you don't want to talk to him. But, I think you should hear him out. It's about Beca."

Chloe's eyes widened as she reached for the phone.

"What happened to Beca?" Chloe asked as soon as the phone was to her ear.

"Fergus Hobart knows where Patricia Hobart is," Matt said. "He has a jet scheduled to fly from Sydney to Paris early tomorrow morning. We already have French authorities keeping an eye out for him in case he arrives earlier than anticipated. Jason and I are taking the jet to France tonight. I thought you might want to meet us there."

"What about Aunt Peggy?" Chloe asked, looking at her as she spoke.

"I already have a nurse scheduled to come to the house to take care of her," Matt said. "So, do you want to be an agent for a little bit longer and help us take down Fergus Hobart AND see your girlfriend in the process or not?"

"I'll get the first flight out," Chloe said.

"You have a reservation to leave in ninety minutes," Matt said. "We'll pick you up at the airport." Matt paused for a moment. "Thanks for helping with this, Chloe."

"Thanks for including me, Director," Chloe said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Chloe ended the call and handed the phone back to Peggy.

"Are you sure you're okay with me leaving?" Chloe asked.

"Go get your girl, sweetie," Peggy said with a smile.

Chloe jumped up and hugged her aunt. She then ran off to pack.

~~ My Spy ~~

True to his word, Matt and Jason were waiting at the airport for Chloe.

Jason began by apologizing profusely to Chloe.

"It's okay, Jason," Chloe said. "Beca told me you apologized to her, so we're good."

"Just like that?" Jason asked.

"I could stay mad at you if you'd like," Chloe said, smirking.

"No, no," Jason said, holding his hands up. "Nobody wants that. Thank you."

"What about me?" Matt asked. "Are we good?"

"I'm over it," Chloe said. "Aunt Peggy and I had a long talk about you and I do feel much better. I still quit, and once this adventure is over we can just go back to being family."

"I can live with that," Matt said, smiling. "Now, let's go catch the bad guys."

Chloe smiled as she followed Matt and Jason out of the airport. Jason drove them to their hotel.

"The Bellas are staying in the hotel across the street," Matt said as they got out of the car.

"Do I have to avoid them?" Chloe asked. "Or can I go find Beca?"

"Try to avoid them as much as you can for now," Matt said. "Hobart is already in Paris, so we want to keep things low-key while we figure out what his plan is regarding Patricia."

"I'll do my best," Chloe said. "But, if I see Beca, I can't promise I'll behave."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: So, Beca and Chloe have spoken (finally). And, on more than one occasion, too. And now they are in the same city at the same time. Looks like they may finally get together. Or will Amy's dad be the reason they remain separated? Come back next week and find out.

A/N2: Before any asks, I promise to reveal how Chloe got the scar on her cheek in the next chapter.

[suituuup]

pieces - epilogue

That’s it, folks! Thank you for coming along this journey. Huge shout out to @snowonebutyou and @lilhan, this story wouldn’t have been the same without their help.

ao3 link

*

“Come on Bean, you can do it,” Chloe encouraged, holding her arms out towards Marleigh as the one-year-old stood, Beca sitting behind her. 

Marleigh grinned and took an unsteady step, then another one, before falling on her bum. She giggled and pushed back to her feet to make the remaining three steps to her mom, collapsing into her arms. 

“Oh my goodness, you’re walking,” Chloe gushed as she peppered her face with kisses. “Where did the time go??” She set her back down, facing Beca. “Wanna do it again?” 

Beca grinned, extending her arms this time. “Come to Auntie Beca, MJ!” 

Chloe smiled, holding Marleigh’s hips as she spoke close to her ear. “Go to Mama.”

Beca froze and met her eyes, a silent question swirling in them as they simultaneously filled with tears. Chloe’s smile simply widened, and she glanced away from Beca to focus on Marleigh as she toddled to Beca, squealing as she did. 

“You-- really?” Beca asked as she held Marleigh against her. 

Chloe nodded. “You’re not her aunt, Bec. You’ve been there since day one, raising her with me. I know it can’t be official on paper yet, but to me, you’re Marleigh’s other parent.” After a pause, she added, “If you want that, that is.” 

Beca visibly swallowed, and a couple of tears spilled down her cheeks. She cleared her throat, seemingly at a loss for words as she glanced at MJ, leaning in to kiss her chubby cheek. 

*

Beca wasn’t a fan of the cold, but she had to admit that a white Christmas was pretty dope. 

So was Christmas in the Beale fashion. They had spent the day before baking cookies, singing Christmas carols, and once it was dark, had gone out to Rockefeller to see the tree. 

Beca woke to the sound of babbling through the baby monitor that morning, and after finding Chloe sound asleep, turned the device off and slipped from under the covers. She padded to the nursery across the hall and smiled at the sight of a wide-awake Marleigh staring up at her with those big blue eyes. 

“G’morning, Bean,” she murmured, bending down to pick her up. Turned out Marleigh was still a bit sleepy, cuddling into Beca as soon as she was in her arms. Beca brushed a kiss to her forehead. “Merry Christmas.” 

She walked down the hall towards the living room and turned on the tree lights, knowing how obsessed Marleigh was with the colors. 

“Look at aaaaall the presents, Mar,” Beca said as she pointed to the various piles of gifts she and Chloe had hustled to wrap last night. “I think most of it is for you, baby.” 

Marleigh babbled incoherent things, pointing to the tree. Her features broke into a wide smile as she looked at something over Beca’s shoulder, and Beca turned around to see Chloe padding over. 

“Merry Christmas,” Chloe said, leaning in to kiss Beca’s lips, then Marleigh’s cheek. 

Marleigh had a blast opening her presents, even though she looked definitely more entertained by the wrapping paper than the gifts themselves. Beca felt nerves sprout in her belly as she stood up to pour herself more coffee, plucking the small box laying under the tree and handing it to MJ. 

“This is for Mommy,” she whispered, pointing to Chloe. “Can you go give it to her?” 

“Ya!” Marleigh exclaimed and walked over to where Chloe sat. 

Chloe glanced at Beca questioningly, then at her daughter. She took the box, her hand shaking lightly. “Thank you, baby.” Her eyes met Beca once more, then widened as she opened the box to find a sparkling diamond ring. Not any ring; her grandmother’s. “Beca…”

When she finally tore her gaze away from it, Beca had shuffled closer. “That business trip I took to LA a couple of months ago? It was actually to Portland. I wanted to ask your parents if they were okay with me asking you an important question, and your mom insisted I had this ring. Chloe…” she took a deep breath, shifting from a sitting position to down one knee. “You are everything to me. This past year and a half have been my happiest yet, and it’s all because of you. And I want to make this, us, to become a forever thing,” Beca paused, smiling as happy tears stung her eyes. “Chlo, will you marry me?”

Chloe choked on a watery chuckle. “Yes,” she whispered, crushing the distance between them to press a lingering kiss on Beca’s lips. “I love you.” 

Beca beamed. “I love you, too.” She laughed when Bean crashed their embrace, wrapping an arm around her. Her heart felt fit to burst from happiness. “And you.” 

*

They started house hunting as soon as Chloe secured a vet tech position in the clinic she was completing her internship in, in Stamford, Connecticut. After a couple of months’ search, they found a lovely farmhouse in Westchester County, just outside of Bedford, located an hour from Manhattan and thirty minutes from Stamford.

It was built in the 1900s in the New England housing style, complete with the traditional covered porch, metal standing seam roof, rafter tails, and barn-style garage. The interior had been fully renovated, giving way to a fresh and modern spin. 

“There’s a greenhouse, too, and a cottage,” Chloe said with a soft gasp as they wandered about the three acres that came with the property after visiting the inside. Marleigh was just ahead of them, exploring. “We’d have enough space for a dog, and maybe some goats and chickens?” 

Beca chuckled. “Goats and chickens? Since when are we having a farm?” 

Chloe giggled, shrugging. “I really want Bean to grow up around animals.”

Beca smiled and kissed Chloe’s cheek. “Fine, we can have goats and chickens. I won’t be going around the chickens, though. They kinda scare me.” 

“Really?” Chloe asked, unable to stop herself from snickering. 

Beca glared. “Don’t make fun of me, Beale.” 

“Mommy!” Marleigh called out, holding up what looked like a daisy. “Look. Pwetty.” 

Chloe crouched down to her level, smiling. “Very pretty. Do you like it here, baby?” 

Marleigh nodded her pigtails bouncing with the movement. She pointed to the swingset. “We go there?” 

Chloe pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Go ahead.” 

They signed the papers a few weeks later and were set to move there the following summer, after Chloe’s graduation.

All the pieces of her puzzle were finally coming together, and Chloe couldn’t feel happier.

*

“You ready to clap, Bean?” Beca asked as she and Marleigh sat in one of the back rows, among the other students’ families. “It’s almost Mommy’s turn.” 

“Mommy?” Marleigh asked, pointing at the stage. 

“Not yet,” Beca murmured, smiling at her impatience and brushing a kiss to her head. 

Two students later, Chloe walked across the stage. 

“Mommy!” Marleigh called out as the Dean handed Chloe her diploma. She clapped from her spot on Beca’s lap, beaming. Chloe waved and blew them a kiss before she headed down the steps leading off the stage. 

The ceremony ended forty-five minutes later, and Beca and MJ met up with Chloe by the side of the stage. 

“Congratulations, baby,” Beca murmured, kissing her softly. “I’m so proud of you.” 

Marleigh dutifully gave her mom the flowers she and Beca picked up this morning. “Congwatulations, Mommy!”

Chloe bent down to pick her up. “Thank you, my love. I feel like this calls for ice cream. What do you say?” 

“Yes! I want four scoops!” Marleigh declared, holding up three fingers. 

Beca chuckled, holding up four fingers herself. “That’s four, Bean.” 

Marleigh copied her, grinning “Four scoops!” 

Beca tickled her sides, drawing a string of uncontrolled giggles from the toddler. They settled at the park with their ice cream, enjoying the warm June afternoon. 

Chloe cuddled close to Beca as they watched Marleigh play with her toys ten feet away. “She’s growing up way too fast,” Chloe murmured. 

Beca hummed. “Is that your subtle way of telling me you’re ready to have another kid, Beale?” 

A giggle flitted past Chloe’s lips. “No. I think we’re just on the brink of getting a case of the terrible twos, so it’s probably best if we only have one kid to handle for now.” 

Beca laughed. MJ was definitely showing some temper and had already given them a taste of what toddler tantrums could be like. “That’s probably wise. And maybe we could get married first, too?” 

With the house hunting and Chloe finishing up her school year, they hadn’t really talked about it. 

“Can we do it at home? I really want my dad to be there.” 

Her father’s condition had stabilized over the last year or so. They had visited him a few times since MJ’s birth, and Beca could tell he was relieved to be able to hold his granddaughter and interact with her despite his condition.

“Of course we can,” she murmured, brushing a kiss to Chloe’s forehead. “I was also thinking… that we could stay there longer this summer? Two weeks is going to fly by, and if we stayed a month then maybe your mom could take some time off?” 

Alice had been caring for her husband for the last five years, and Chloe had shared that she was worried it was taking too much of a toll on her. 

Chloe lifted her head from Beca’s chest. “Would you really be okay with that?” 

“Yeah,” Beca said, brushing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

“Mama,” MJ called as she walked over, holding a rock. “Pwesent.” 

Beca held out her hand, smiling. Marleigh had an obsession with rocks, lately. “Thank you, baby. I love it.”

MJ snuggled in between the two of them, curling up against Beca’s chest. 

“You tired, Bean?” Beca asked softly, dropping a kiss on her hair. MJ didn’t answer, her breathing evening out a few seconds later. 

Beca shared a look with Chloe and smiled. It felt odd to think of how, ten years ago, she was convinced music and success would be the key to her happiness. And it had been, for a good five years, up until Chloe came back into her life. 

This, what they built together since then, brought Beca to another level of happiness she didn’t know was possible. 

*

They got married on a warm September evening, at an orchard with the ocean as a gorgeous backdrop. 

Marleigh was supposed to be the flower girl, but she changed her mind last minute, refusing to go first and clinging to Chloe, who ended up picking her up before she walked down the aisle alongside her father. 

Beca’s father walked her down the aisle next, and Chloe heard Marleigh gasp. “Mama looks pwetty,” the two-year-old whispered. 

“She really does,” Chloe agreed quietly, tears of happiness already filling her eyes as Beca came to a stop in front of her. 

“You look…” Beca faltered, shaking her head as what looked like awe flashed in her features. “Incredibly beautiful, Chlo.” Her focus shifted to MJ. “And you’re the cutest flower girl ever.” 

Marleigh giggled and motioned for Chloe to set her down, but she remained by Aubrey’s side. They recited their vows in front of their closest friends and immediate family, exchanging rings and somehow managing to make it through the ceremony without bawling their eyes out. 

“I now pronounce you, wife and wife,” Aubrey said, a beaming smile breaking across her features. “You may now kiss.” 

Chloe grinned and cupped Beca’s cheek, stepping closer and pressing a lingering kiss to her lips as their friends whistled and hooted. 

“Yuck!” Marleigh exclaimed, and Chloe found her peeking through her fingers when they parted. 

She laughed and picked her up, she and Beca kissing each cheek before they started down the aisle under the applause of their loved ones. 

*

“Where we going?” 

Beca smiled as she laced Marleigh’s shoes. “We’re going to the courthouse, Bean.” 

“Wha’s that?” 

“It’s where big decisions are made, by people we call judges. Today we’re meeting with a judge who will decide if I can become your real mom.” 

They had tried to explain that to Marleigh since signing the petition for Beca to adopt her, but Marleigh had argued that Beca was already her Mama. It had been a long process since their wedding, with background checks and a visit from the child protective services. 

“I hope the judge says yes,” Marleigh said as she swung her legs. 

Beca smiled. “Me, too.” She kissed her forehead and picked her up, heading down the stairs. Part of her expected Marco to show up out of the blue, but she knew that was unlikely, as he probably didn’t know of Marleigh’s existence. 

Nerves sprouted in Beca’s belly when they sat down for the final hearing. Marleigh sat on her lap, asking questions about the room they were in and being a welcome distraction as they waited for the judge. 

“And that?” 

“That’s a gavel,” Beca said. “The judge hits it when he makes a decision, or sometimes, when there’s a lot of people in the room and they’re talking too loud, the judge will slam it on their desk to request silence.” 

They stood when the judge walked in, the middle-aged woman motioning for them to sit down while she reviewed their file. 

“Mrs. Rebecca Mitchell, is it still your intent to adopt Marleigh Beale and become her other parent under the eyes of the law?” 

“Yes, your honor,” Beca answered, her voice shaking slightly as emotions swirled in her chest. 

“Mrs. Chloe Mitchell, do you still consent to Rebecca adopting your daughter and giving her, her last name?” 

“I do, your honor.” 

The judge motioned for them to come forward. “Sign here, and here.” 

Beca sucked in a sharp breath, meeting Chloe’s eyes before she took the pen and scribbled her signature at the bottom of the document. Chloe did the same right after, casting Beca a smile. 

“You say yes?” Marleigh asked, looking up at the judge. “Mama is my real mom, now?”

The judge chuckled, smiling warmly. “She is. Congratulations.” 

Beca wiped a tear sliding down her cheek. “Thank you.” 

She pulled her family into a long embrace as soon as they stepped out of the courtroom, basking into the moment.

“Can we go get ice cream, now?” Marleigh asked, breaking the silence. 

Chloe smiled and kissed her daughter’s cheek. “I think that’s a great idea.” She slid her hand into Beca’s, raising it to her lips and dropping a kiss to her knuckles. “Come on, Mitchells. Ice cream’s on me.” 

*

Fall was Chloe’s favorite season. It got incredibly beautiful in Westchester once the tree adorned their golden and scarlet leaves, and one of her favorite things to do was sit on the porch swing while nursing on a cup of coffee or tea, sometimes reading a book, other times watching her daughter play with her dad in the backyard, like today. 

Her parents had moved to the East Coast six months ago, as they wanted to spend more time with Marleigh. It made sense that they moved into the cottage on Beca and Chloe’s farm, so Chloe could be around to help her mom out. They had fully renovated the interior, with a fully-equipped kitchen, master bedroom, and cozy living and dining room. Marleigh was thrilled to have her grandparents around. She loved to play games with her grandpa and do farm tasks with her grandma, like feeding the chickens and goats, collecting eggs, or gardening.

“Go fish.” 

Marleigh made a disgruntled noise as she reached for another card. She huffed dramatically when Mike asked her for a card she had. “Grandpaaaa.” 

Chloe looked over her shoulder when she heard approaching footsteps. She smiled at her wife as Beca sat down beside her, and reached over to stroke her growing belly.

Chloe released a content sigh. “Do you ever feel like… pinching yourself? Because this feels too good to be true?” 

“Every morning when I wake up next to you,” Beca said, a teasing lilt to her tone. 

Chloe giggled. “Corny.” She turned her head to look at Beca. “When I was at my worst, I thought my life as it was back then would be it. I thought that I was far too broken to come back from it,” she paused, glancing at Marleigh and her parents and blinking back the tears threatening to blur her vision. “And now I have all this, and sometimes I can’t believe that this is my life. I feel incredibly grateful and lucky. More than I can put into words.” 

Chloe had been clean for nearly five years now. She hadn’t touched cocaine or alcohol since her first day of rehab and the cravings were no longer there. She sometimes thought about it on difficult days, but that’s all it was: a thought. It drifted away nearly as soon as it materialized, because Chloe was stronger now, and she knew how to handle the fleeting temptation. 

Beca pressed a kiss to her temple. “You fought for that, Chlo. First by leaving Marco, then going to rehab, and being determined to keep your head above the water through the bad days that followed.” 

Chloe’s free hand slid inside Beca’s. “Thank you for believing in me. For believing that there was still a piece of the Chloe you once knew in there.” 

Beca lifted their hands and pressed a lingering kiss to Chloe’s fingers. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

Their peaceful, heartfelt moment was soon over when the tornado that was their four-year-old ran up to them. 

“Mama,” Marleigh said as she settled on Beca’s lap. 

“What’s up, Bean?”

“How did you and Mommy meet?”

Beca hummed. “We went to school together. Mommy forced me into joining this singing group.” 

Chloe gasped. “I didn’t force you, Beca Mitchell.” 

“You burst into my shower,” Beca muttered as Marleigh giggled. 

“While you were naked?!” 

“Yep,” Beca said, widening her eyes at their daughter. “Can you believe that?” 

“Was it love at first sight?” 

“No. It was something deeper than that. For me at least. Something that grew slowly in my heart. So slowly that it took years for me to realize it.” 

“Years??” Marleigh gasped. “That’s a long time.” 

“Yeah. I was an idiot.” 

Chloe giggled. “We were both idiots.” 

“But now you’re together, and that’s what’s important, right?” 

Chloe narrowed her eyes at MJ and reached out to ruffle her red hair. “When did you get so smart?” 

Marleigh shrugged, then dashed off to go back to her grandparents, drawing a chuckle from both Beca and Chloe. Beca glanced at Chloe, squeezing her leg. “You alright?” 

“Mmm.” Chloe rested her head on Beca’s shoulder, her hand finding Beca’s stomach once more in hopes of feeling a kick or two. “More than alright.” 

-fin-

[13uswntimagines]

You’re in Wubble Now (Bino x Teen!Reader)

Request: R is Sue and Megan daughter(14 years old) ? Like what is being at the wubble together?

Authors note: Hey dudes, I really don’t know much about basketball, or its players, but I hope you enjoy this! Hit me up with requests, questions or if you just wanna say hi!

You smiled brightly up at the sky, enjoying the way the sun fell on your face. You had missed the feeling of the sun on your face and cleats on your feet for the past 4 months you had spent in quarantine. You were glad that wubble included an outdoor area where you could practice your juggling in. You didn’t want to lose your edge over your Aunt Tobin.

You glanced down at the ball, flicking it up to balance on your toe-box, before starting to practice the various tricks you knew how to do. All the while moving towards the place that you had designated in your mind as “goal”. As you neared the area, you tapped the ball a little too hard, sending it careening over the small fence and directly onto the outdoor basketball court. You groaned loudly as it collided with one Sami Whitcomb. 

“I’m so sorry,” You tried to cover your giggle with your hand, but failed. 

“Trying to take her out so Chicago Sky has the advantage kid?” Jordin Canada laughed, sapping a hand on your shoulder, and you shot her a cheeky smile. You and your Aunt JJ had a running joke that the Stars were your favorite team, though you were rather partial to Portland, just to annoy your mothers. 

“Hey short stack, you’re good with your feet, but are you any good with your hands?” Sami joined in the banter, spinning the soccer ball on her finger before tossing it back to you. You smiled and caught it on the top of your left foot and began to juggle again. 

“Are you kidding me? She’s got Pino’s height and none of Bird’s skills,” Breanna Stewart joked, resting her elbow on the top of your head. You huffed. Yes, you were short, and the USWNT always liked to remind you of that, but next to your mom’s teammates, you were practically a dwarf and they didn’t mind telling you about it. 

Just because you preferred soccer didn’t mean you weren’t any good at basketball. Hell, you and your mom had done nothing but play pickup games in the driveway since the whole COVID thing started. You weren’t terrible, to begin with, but you had definitely gotten better if you did say so yourself. You had even pulled the basketball version of a nutmeg on your mom. Plus, you never backed down from a challenge. 

“I think I could take you,” You smirked, puffing out your chest. The women laughed at your adorableness. They knew just how competitive you were, they had seen it in your determination to make the U15 soccer team, and in all of the stories about you, Sue had shared with them. 

“Be careful what you ask for kid, just because you’re a Rapino-Bird doesn’t mean we won’t whip your ass,” Jordin said seriously, (gently) bumping your shoulder. You set your jaw in a way that they had come to recognize as your ‘I’m going to win any way I can’ face. 

“Sounds like a challenge to me,” Sami laughed at how cute your determined face was, patting your upper back in a way that reminded you of your mom. 

“Oh, you’re on. 2v2 me a Sami vs you and Breanna” You nodded at Jordin, who flashed Sami a wink. They couldn’t let the soccer players teach you everything, now could they. 

****

The game was going well for you, as you and Sami were up by 12, and you were about to extend that lead. She crossed you the ball, bouncing it in between Breanna’s legs. You collected it, realizing that if you tried to dribble, you’d most likely fall victim to Jordin’s marking. So you took the shot, Jumping up just outside of the three-point area. Jordin, not expecting the move, bumped into you milliseconds after the ball had left your fingertips, sending you careening into the concrete floor. 

“You alright kid?” Sami asked, watching as you got back to your feet, and gasping when you turned around. 

“Shit, Sue’s going to kill us,” Jordan mumbled when she saw the gash that had formed just above your right eyebrow, and the red substance that was seeping down your face, staining your brand new Re-inc popsicle shirt. 

“Kill you is more like it,” Breanna smirked, shoving Jordin’s shoulder lightly. 

“And I’d be more worried about Megan,” Sami murmured as she took a closer look at your cut. 

“I’m fine guys,” You grumbled, pulling your head out of Sami’s gentle hands and turning to find the basketball. The rapid movement caused even more blood to drip down your covered face, and land unceremoniously on the pavement. 

“Yeah, let’s get you to the medic,” The women rolled their eyes at your insistence, Jordin grabbing one arm, and Breanna grabbing another while Sami placed a hand at the center of your back to get you moving forward. 

The walk to the First aid room had been relatively uneventful, as the women wouldn’t budge on their stance that you needed to get checked by the doctors (though several other players sent you worried looks as you passed them). 

“I’m going to need to call one of your mothers down here for consent to treat you,” The doctor said quietly, handing you a piece of gauge and motioning for you to hold it to the cut that was still freely bleeding. You rolled your eyes at him and nodded for Sami to call your mom. She was always more level headed than Ma when you got hurt. You should have guessed that they would be together and that they would not be happy to find out that you’d been hurt… again. 

“What the fuck happened?” Megan exclaimed, bursting into the first aid room, racing over to you and glaring at the women who were accompanying you. It was kinda funny cause even though she was so much shorter than them, they all shrunk under her gaze. 

“Meg, chill.”Sue interrupted, stepping between her wife and her very afraid teammates. Megan may have been short but she was called your mama bear for a reason.“What happened?” Your mom asked you directly, crouching down so she was eye level with you, and taking the soaked gauze from your grasp. You sighed dramatically. 

“We were playing a game of pickup, and I got bumped. They freaked out,” you scoffed, waving your hand at the three women who were still covering inter you Ma’s gaze. 

“I think our response was well deserved,” Sami grumbled, gesturing towards you. So maybe there had been a lot of blood, but your Aunt Ash had always said that head cuts always bled more. 

“It was just a scratch,” You rolled your eyes, your annoyance leaking into your tone, sure that if it had been any one of your mom’s teammates, you would still be outside on the field, enjoying the sun. 

“Yeah, like Kelley’s nose during the World Cup,” You am sent you a pointed look, and you froze. 

“I don’t stop in the middle of games,” you grumbled, pouting and crossing your arms, pulling off a flying squirrel impersonation that would make the woman proud, “and plus this is nothing compared to the time Aunt Toby took me surfing” You pointed out, shivering just thinking about the experience. The almost drowning part hadn’t been the worst part, the cuts from the coral on the bottom had. 

“You got caught under a wave and almost drowned,” Sue said sternly, forcing you to look her in the eyes, and grabbing another wad of gauze, as you had bled through the first two. 

“See, this is just a baby cut compared to that, or liked the time I went skateboarding with Emily,” You shot her a grin, and she sent you back a grim smile. 

“Yeah, that time you broke your collarbone,” 

You huffed. It had been Lindsey’s idea for you to try and jump the fire hydrant, and Emily’s fault that she hadn’t cleared the sidewalk for you. If you had followed through with the landing, you probably would have creamed the family of 4 just trying to enjoy their day. 

“I’m going to have to put stitches in,” The doctor interrupted, peeling back the gauze and setting up to treat your cut. 

“You’re not allowed by yourself with our teams anymore,” Megan huffed, glaring at the three women who were watching your interaction with their captain in awe. 

“Hey, it’s not our fault the shrimp-“ Jordin started to protest, only to be cut off by a glare from her Captain. 

“I don’t want to hear it,” Sue said, her voice dangerously low, before turning back to you. “You’re benched for the rest of the season kid,” She finished, cupping your cheek. You closed your eyes in frustration. You didn’t want to have to sit on the bench with your ma. 

“Hey, I’m not that bad,” Megan pouted at you, obviously offended by your reaction. You loved your Ma, you did, but you had way too much energy to not be able to play sports, even though you probably had a concussion. 

“No, you're not,” You said back lowly, and Sue laughed at your sad face. She knew that there would be no way to stop you from playing sports, but maybe the promise of cuddling with your Ma would at least give your cut time to heal. 

“Love you, my dear,” Megan whimpered, placing a careful kiss on your cheek, followed by another from Sue.

[residentsocialfailure]

Initial True Colors thoughts::

Please don’t expect this to be intelligent or organized or in any way useful for anything. Just my dumb thoughts about a game I really enjoy :))

*Actually thoughts from about ten minutes in. I got excited when it finally finished downloading and forgot I had wanted to do this

- This game is already activating all my Colorado feelings. I’ve been wanting to move back for years, and this is making me want to even more. The scenery is so pretty, and the town seems incredible. I want to live here so bad.

- I thought the guy sitting by the creek was Gabe, and spent way too long trying to figure out how to get to him, whoops.

-Birb! I love him.

- Ah, so she's telepathic. I couldn’t remember exactly what her ability was, only that it involved auras or something. This should be interesting.

-I love that he has a tab at the florist. How often are you apologising, my guy?

- I aspire to be as cool as that gnome. Look at his shirt!! He’s the best.

- This poor kid has been carrying that bag around for ages. Can we finish the tour after I set my shit down?

- One of these days I’m going to get around to doing some goat yoga. More just so I can chill with some goats than anything else. Just some goats and me, hanging out, doing some stretches. Sounds like a fun time.

- Oh, I love this kid. He’s great. But wait, the mines? That they’re about to blast to bits? Those mines? Please don’t go camping there just yet. 

- Oh my goodness, this record store is so cool. I’m not even a huge music fan and I would spend so much time here. Also...

-Steph!! My beloved. Is it to early to ask her to marry me? Ah well, we can go play d&d and make out or something, idk, whatever normal people do. 

- Oh new, character. Cool. Hi, Ryan. Sorry, my heart’s already taken, but you seem chill. Also, did not realize she was coming from Portland. 

- Oh, I just noticed the sign. Of course she larps. God, I love this town. Where can I find Haven Springs? I need to move there. yesterday.

- I would die for Valkyrie.

- Also I love moments in games, when an npc is like, ‘help me do this thing’, and then just sits back and watches while you do all the work. Thanks man.

- God, I love the music in this game, though. I’m going to have to look some songs up later. I forgot how much I loved these moments in the LiS series though, when a song plays and it just goes through a little montage. It’s so peaceful and lovely.

- Also, I love Steph just jamming out in the background. I would die for her too.

- Forbidden Songs, by Adam and Steve. Incredible.

- Okay, Valkyrie. I love you very much, but I apparently need you to move to advance this story. Where the fuck is your toy.

- This motherfucker. Kings of Leon? Seriously? Ugh, why am I related to this loser. /j

- Okay, not that I’m complaining, but how did she get my phone number? Or actually know who I am? We literally didn’t exchange two words. I pointed at a record and she referred to me as ‘some chick’. Steph, you got your own telepathy powers I should know about??

-Ahh, my first big choice... do I want to be the cool aunt or the safe aunt?? Bc in this game, he could actually die if I make the wrong choice.... ah fuck. I gotta be safe. I’ll be cool with other stuff. Like LARPing. Please don’t hate me, Ethan..

- Ooh, this guy seems cool. I’m getting some badass Ron Swanson vibes. 

-Dude. His apartment is so cool. Seriously, where can I find a town like Haven Springs, I want to live here so bad.

- Hey welcome to the town, here’s a whole-ass apartment. Also I care about you v much and want you to have a fresh start. I’m already getting feelings from this game.

- Oh, I was just about to say I hope our downstairs neighbors don’t mind noise. This guy seems off though.. didn’t he mention a Mack? If he did, I absolutely cannot remember what he said..

-Oh yeah! He was the florist’s asshole boyfriend. Cool cool cool.

-Ah, so her powers aren’t so much telepathy, as empath who takes on the others emotions; similar to Caleb from the bright sessions. Interesting.

- Oh shit. Where’s Dr. Bright’s breathing exercises when you need them.

-God, poor Alex. Poor Gabe. They were having such a nice time.

- I just want to give her a hug :(

-So we’re getting some backstory stuff. Not sure what happened with parents yet, as far as I can remember. But I guess she disappeared on her own.. ran away? Or something else. 

- Mini game!! That was fun. I only made it to the third level bc I’m bad at things. But I’ll beat your high score at some point, Gabe. >.>

-Oh, Shu-shu is so cute. Also, could probably use a bath. Maybe later 

-Old family photo, but (probably) parents are cut out. So that, plus what was probably her running away as a kid, means not the best childhood. :( I wonder if that’s why he reacted like that to her beating up Mack? I mean, obviously, that wasn’t a great moment for anyone, but he seemed freaked out in a different way than just worrying about his sis beating someone up.

-Okay, so mom probably got sick with something, maybe cancer or something similar, and the dad was an abusive prick when she died. Maybe. Except she had cut the mom out too, so clearly that’s not the whole story, if it’s even close. Maybe mom was an alcoholic?

-Aw, he got her a guitar. I wonder if it was his old one, or a new one he bought?

-Are the flashes of red indicative of her emotions? Or is that just the sunset or something? Maybe both?

-Oh man, I really wish I could give her a hug. She deserves all the love 

 Ahh, I’m realizing how long this is getting, and also it is 11:00, and I have to wake up early tomorrow for work. As much as I would like to play this all night, I probably need to be responsible..

If for some reason you’re still here, I hope you enjoyed reading my dumb, rambling thoughts. Overall, I’m really excited for this game. So far it’s been a lot of fun, and I can’t wait to find out more about these characters and the story. I feel like this game is going to be really good. I wish we got more Steph time in, but I know she’ll come in later. Anyways, I’m v tired and might have more intelligent thoughts later, but probably not.. 

[angst-fairygodmother]

Flowers ~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Story

A/N: I wanted to continue Ryne’s backstory, especially since my drabble really just raised more questions (and then y’all said you wanted it). Also, this is like super heavy topics, and I tried to tag them all, but please let me know if I missed any or need to make any tags clearer. Word Count: 1914 Rating: M - self-deprecation; discussion of: past emotional abuse, teacher/student (adult/minor) relationship; cheating; manipulation; canon-typical language

“Hey, can we talk?” Derek asked, leaning against her kitchen counter, folding his arms over his chest casually.

Ryne faltered, nearly dropping the bowl she’d been scrubbing. “About what?”

“...that guy. The one that had you sobbing a few days ago.” He flinched at his own bluntness, guilty but unsure how else to put it.

She sighed, setting down the soapy sponge and turning to him. “Yeah. I mean I guess, if you really want to know.”

“You haven't been you since. I’m worried.”

“What do you mean I haven’t been me?” she frowned, bewildered. 

“You’ve been distracted, grumpy, passing up opportunities to insult me even when I leave myself wide open.” He shrugged. “I’ll believe you if you tell me it’s nothing. But I wanna help, if you’re hurting. And I wanna know you, the good and the bad. Please?”

He was asking, but he meant what he said that it was up to her, and she knew that. It was strange, to be that in control, and stranger still, that she wanted to open up. 

She closed her eyes, taking a shuddering, steeling breath. 

“Lucas was...a teacher, not like a teacher-teacher, just someone my uncle knew who he paid to tutor me or whatever, push me further than school could. He was really set on getting me ready to be that whole Ivy League, MBA, 9 to 5 in a three-piece suit, bust my ass to climb the corporate ladder but never actually make it to the top because I have a vagina but hey it looks good for him because he raised me, bullshit.”

“You and Sean really are related,” Derek mused, shaking his head and earning a glare before motioning for her to continue.

“Anyway. He tutored me, and he listened to me, and pretended to give a shit, and told me that I was brilliant and beautiful and special.” She spat the word like it was poison. “No one had ever bothered before. The first time he kissed me was when I got my SAT scores back. And I thought, it didn’t matter that I was...I guess I hadn’t quite turned seventeen yet, or that he was twice that, because I was stupid, and I thought he actually loved me.”

“Ryne…” Derek murmured as he stared, aghast and furious. He knew what she was saying, but couldn’t wrap his head around it. That someone would, or could do something like that, could take advantage and play someone like that, or that she had ever believed, been made to believe, she was less than incredible.

“Lucas?” she called as she opened the front door and poked her head inside. “He-llooo?” 

When she was greeted by total silence in the apartment, she pouted. Sure, she was a little over an hour earlier than she expected to be getting to her boyfriend’s home, but that shouldn’t have been enough time that he wasn’t home. They hadn’t seen each other since the semester started so she had sort of expected him to meet her as soon as she walked in the door, or at least be waiting for her in the living room, but the place was empty.

“I’m just going to grab a quick shower,” she announced to the air, dropping her duffle bag on the couch to deal with later. 

As she passed the bedroom, she heard a sound that made her heart drop into her stomach. Slowly pushing the door opened, she tried to prepare herself for what she knew was on the other side. 

“Kathryn!” Lucas shouted, scrambling to sit up from where he lay tangled with two women in the sheets. 

“I...Lucas...what...why?” she stammered.

“What was I supposed to do Kathryn?” he snapped, glaring. “You weren’t here. I have needs.”

“I was at school for a month...and you didn’t say anything.”

“I shouldn’t need to. If you really cared about me, you’d understand that. You’d have come home on the weekends, or sent me a video. Taken care of me, instead of being so selfish.”

“We should go,” one of the girls said to the other, awkwardly shuffling around with a sheet pulled over her chest to find their clothes. 

The other leaned in, kissing Lucas on the cheek before realizing what she was doing. “I’ll...bye.”

Ryne stared with wide eyes at the scene unfolding before her. It was like something out of a bad dream. The first woman to have to have spoken patted her awkwardly on the shoulder as they scooted past. 

“I had school. I needed to focus, and I...you cheated on me…?” she said, eyes welling with tears. 

“No. Sweetie. It’s not cheating…” Lucas cooed, climbing out of bed and approaching her. “I swear it didn’t mean anything. I love you. I just needed a little relief. You understand don’t you? I’d so much rather it was you.”

He leaned down to kiss her and she turned her head away. Undeterred, his lips sought her neck and she found herself relaxing into his touch like she always did. 

“I really thought it was my fault. Somehow I believed that if I had just given him more, it wouldn’t have happened.” 

She laughed bitterly. Derek wanted to reach out and hold her, but something in her body language told him not to, not yet. It hurt him not to, but now that the floodgates had opened, he could see she needed to tell all of it, and that his comfort would just be getting in her way.

“I don’t even know how you give someone more than everything?” She looked at him, tears in her eyes and confusion on her face, like she was expecting an answer and he shook his head. 

“He begged me to move in with him so we’d have more time together. I convinced myself that whatever I’d done wrong, I could...fix...it. But I couldn’t. And then he was just cheating on me right under my nose, and trying to get me to do things I didn’t want to do. And making me feel like dog shit under his heel was worth more. And somehow, like a moron, I still believed he loved me.” She shook her head in disparagement.

“Hey, don’t do that. Shit. The only one you should be saying anything bad about is this douchebag, not yourself.” 

He decided to reach out anyway, taking her face gently between his hands and using his thumbs to brush away the tears running down her cheeks. 

“Come ‘ere.”

He drew her in, and she gratefully stepped into the protective bubble he formed just by being there next to her. She leaned against him, breathing deeply and taking comfort in his solid warmth. 

“So...you never said what brought you to Boston?” Ryne asked her aunt, tugging the sleeve of her winter coat down further over her wrists and palms.

“I came to see you,” Patty Falco responded flatly. “David told me where to find you. He said you dropped out of Brown?”

Ryne shrugged, staring out over the waterfront instead of meeting her eye. “I couldn’t handle it. I’ll go back…” It sounded unconvincing even to her own ears. “I just need to figure some stuff out first.”

“Stuff like that boyfriend of yours?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice how much older he was than you. Or his over-inflated self-importance. I was worried about you when you didn’t come out for Christmas. You haven’t missed it since you had the stomach flu when you were seven.”

“I know...Lucas didn’t want to go. He wasn’t ready to meet my whole family. We just stayed in and had a quiet holiday. I meant to call but…” 

She looked down, fiddling with her fingers. She didn’t want to lie to her aunt. But how could she admit the truth? How could she say that it had been her idea not to fly out to Portland because she’d want to never come back, because she knew as soon as her family met him they’d pick up on the fact that Lucas didn’t make her happy, if anything he did the opposite. 

“I’m not blind, Ryne.”

She turned her head sharply to look at Patty now, frowning.

“You’re miserable darling. You look exhausted and pale, and like you forgot what smiling is. You dropped out of school. I can list things til the cows come home, but I don’t need to when we both know it. Does he hit you?”

“Aunt Patty it’s not—”

“Don’t tell me it’s not that bad or not what I think. You know better than to lie to your elders. Answer the question.”

“No,” Ryne blinked back tears. “No. It’s all in my head. I’ve just been trying so hard...I...I just wanted him to love me again. If I change, if I do what he wants...”

“He’ll just keep pushing further. Men like that, people like that, aren’t happy until they’ve chipped away everything you are and reduced you to nothing, because it makes them feel powerful.”

“That’s all I’ve got left already.”

“No. It’s not. You have your family. He’s at work right now right?”

Ryne nodded hesitantly. “Yeah. He should have left about twenty minutes ago.”

“Good.” Patty stood up from the bench, holding a hand out for Ryne. “Let’s go.”

“I moved in with them, got my feet back under me, got a job. Reapplied to school, maxed out my summer classes to get back on track. I thought about giving up on higher education, but it just seemed like that was letting him take it all away, make everything pointless. I moved on, and I was...I was good. But seeing him again...it just...I thought I left that and him and everything behind. I haven’t been back, I barely talk to my uncle,” she sighed deeply, “and somehow that bastard still managed to...show up here, in my life.”

She sniffled and buried her face into his chest. He pressed a kiss to her temple and let her, both of them silent for a while.

“Does Sean know?” Derek asked eventually, hesitantly.

“No. He knows that something happened that fucked me up for a while, but not what. And he can’t. You know he gets all...protective or whatever. Even though there’s only a few months between us and I could probably take him in a fair fight.”

Derek laughed. “You don’t fight fair.”

“Yeah, but Sean does, and would believe me if I said I would too. That’s why I can take him.”

“I know some guys from the neighborhood, and we know where he lives now. If you want me to…”

“Derek, no. I just want to forget about it.”

“We could just go round and scare him a bit?”

“No.”

“Okay. Okay. What do you need then? What can I do?”

She shook her head softly, fondly. “You don’t even know how much you already do, do you?”

He gave her a puzzled look.

“I just need you to keep being you.”

“I don’t understand. But if that’s all you want, I think I can manage it,” he said with a half smile and a chuckle.

She tilted her head to look up at him. “And if I need a little more reassurance for a while...or say, more kisses…?”

He leaned down, not quite touching her. “I can definitely do that one.”

[unloveable-unreachable]

You’re the One My Heart Wants- Alex Morgan x Reader

Word Count: 3,318

Warnings: Swearing

Author: Me

A/N: Hey guys this is a first attempt at an Alex Morgan x Reader multi-chapter story. I hope you like it, and I’ll post chapters as much as I can. 

Chapter 1 

Headlines for the 2019 NWSL Season:

~~Marta leaves the NWSL after two seasons with the Pride, Orlando obtains star forward, Y/L/N, from Portland.~~

~~Portland Thorn fans grieve over the loss of their champion forward.~~

~~What will be the career for Y/F/N Y/L/N be like at Orlando Pride?~~

~~Orlando has high hopes for their new forward, Y/L/N, and hope this change is just what the club needs.~~

Y/N POV

It’s weird, I’ll admit, having your name thrown all over the headlines for the upcoming season. I never imagined leaving Portland, especially this soon. I joined the club right out of my second year of college back in 2014, it was a perfect fit for me. I loved the team, and most of my best friends were on that team. Like Sonny and Lindsey. Don’t get me wrong, I have other friends on the team like Tobin, but only because I’m the only one who will go skateboarding with her (at least that’s what she says, but I know she loves me even if she won’t admit it). 

Being one of the players during the 2015 Women’s World Cup put me in the headlines, especially because I was only 21 and scored in two matches, so I was used to being in the headlines. If not for that then for the 2016 Olympics for sure, yeah that was a hard time for a lot of us. We’ve grown since then though, we put more work in than anyone else I know. We want every win more than the opponent every time we step out on the pitch. This World Cup is where we’ll prove ourselves.

Anyways, yeah leaving Portland was really hard for me. Having to pack up my whole life, along with my Corgi, Luna, and moving to the other side of the country was definitely a struggle, to say the least. One of the only good things about being traded to Orlando is that I get to see my moms. Let’s not confuse that with my actual mom, she’s a whole other story. My ‘moms’ are Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris. During my rookie season on the National Team, they took me under their wing, because Ali saw me distance myself from the others and she took it upon herself to take care of me which also means Ash gets drug into it, too. But she doesn’t hate it at all, I’m the kid they wish they could have raised themselves (let’s be honest here, they are the ones who raised me. They just don’t realize it yet). They’re the ones who helped me find my new house, and the ones who helped me (along with Uncle Kyle) move in.

“Yeah mom, I got all of my stuff moved in and unpacked already,” I say to my actual mother. “Okay, I was just making sure. Cause you know I won’t be there to check on you every day and I just want to make sure you have everything ready,” she said in a very uptight tone that I’ve always hated. “Have you met anyone yet? Are there any men you have your eye on?” I nearly broke my head rolling my eyes as hard as I do. Let’s be clear here, I’m gay. I’ve been gay since I was 13, but I can’t tell my family because they wouldn’t understand. Also because if I came out to them I would still be the disappointment of ‘their three girls’, except this time I would be completely disowned. Never to hear from anyone in my family ever again, not like I ever hear from them now but you get what I mean. It’s not something I’m quite ready to dish out yet. “No mom, no guys,” I say trying to end our conversation because I have training in an hour and I knew Ali was going to come pick me up. We say our goodbyes and I run out to meet Ali, who always gets excited to see me like she hasn’t seen me in years. It’s refreshing, to say the least.

Our 2019 season started with a loss to Portland. It was a bittersweet match for me to say the least. At the end of the match Tobin, Sonny, and Lindsey came and gave me hugs until I couldn’t breath. I missed them, and I know that Sonny missed my playlists in the locker room. Lindsey and Sonny practically beg to come stay at my house for a movie night, and of course, I give in without any help from Tobin. The next match was against North Carolina, who has my other best friend on the team, Sammy Mewis. We manage to lose that one too, I know the team is just getting used to me being there but there isn’t any connection between any of us it seems. Sammy also begs to stay at my house because she missed Luna and my movie collection.

Our next match is one of the ones I’ve been waiting for, because playing Utah was always a great match and because I get to see my number one best friend- Kelley O’Hara. When they get to the stadium, I immediately run up to Kelley and jump on her back causing her to fall over, filling the stadium with laughter. “I missed you, Smalls!” I yell at her as we lay on the pitch. “I missed you more, Biggie Smalls!” she shouts back. We have nicknames that we gave each other back in 2015 at the last World Cup. She’s “Smalls” because she’s 5’5” and I’m “Biggie Smalls” because I’m five inches taller than her and built more. She came up with them, and I just go along with it because she’s my best friend and I love her more than anything.

The match ends with Utah winning. We need to get out of this slump or it’s going to be a long season for us. Kelley catches up to me while I walk out of the locker room, “Hey Y/N! Do you wanna go out for drinks tonight?” she asks with a big ass grin on her face. How could I tell her no? “Of course, Kelley. Meet me at my house later and we’ll grab an Uber and stay out as late as you can,” I say back smiling at her. I have to run to catch up with Ali and Ash to get a ride home. “You played good today, moms,” I say as Ash slings her arm around my shoulders. Ali laughs at the mention of ‘moms’ because she knows it’s true but won’t admit it, at least not to me. “You played really well too, kiddo. They just need to get you the ball more, you really work your magic when you get a chance to get a touch on the ball,” Ash says as she ruffles my hair causing me to laugh, as we get in the car to head to our houses. When we pull up to my house, I hop out and say thanks for the ride like I always do. “Hey Y/N, don’t forget I’m coming to get you in the morning for our hike. Don’t sleep in or I’ll make your life hell,” Ali says trying to be all serious but ends up cracking a smile. “I won’t. Love you guys!” I shout from the front door. “Love you, kiddo!” Ash yells from the passenger window.

I hear a knock on the door a few hours later while I’m setting out Luna’s food, and then hear the front door open knowing it’s Kelley. When I look up from the dog food I’m caught a little off guard at the sight of Alex, not in a bad way but in a surprising way. She’s standing next to Kelley watching her play with Luna on the floor. “I can’t believe you haven’t brought Luna to see me more. She loves her Aunt Kelley, and obviously missed me,” Kelley says to me while cradling Luna like a baby. I let out a laugh and say, “We just got moved in like a month ago, and she enjoys her time with Logan. But I’ll be sure to bring her soon, she sure does miss your walks.” I catch Alex looking at the tattoos on my arms, and she sort of blushes at the sight of me catching her. “Hi, Alex,” I say trying to kill the awkwardness in the air. “Hi, Y/N,” she says back shyly. 

Alex and I have a teammate relationship that strictly stays on the pitch. We work really well together when we’re both on the field, but that hasn’t happened till the game tonight and we all know how that one ended. I normally keep to myself or I just stick to either Ash or Ali just because I know they’ll protect me if anything should happen. Alex and I don’t really interact outside the stadium, so tonight’s already starting out awkward. Thanks, Kelley...

Kelley finally sets Luna down asking if we’re ready for drinks, which of course we are. “Yes, please. I gotta buy you a round after your win tonight,” I say to Kelley who just gives me a cheesy grin and two thumbs up. Alex says the Uber should be here already, I tell them to head out while I lock everything up. I end up sitting in the back with Kelley since Alex knows where all the good bars are. 

When we finally reach the street we’ve been looking for, I notice Alex is just out in front of us not really sticking to the group that much. “How’s she doing? If you don’t mind me asking,” Kelley says to me quietly as we follow Alex. “Um, as far as I know, she’s okay. We don’t really talk that much outside of the pitch. Why do you ask?” I answer a little confused by her question. We hear Alex say something about a phone call and that we should go in and she’ll find us. We go in, find a booth and order our drinks. “Okay, so I was asking you because she’s been going through a lot lately and I didn’t know if that was affecting her while she played or whenever she was out of her house,” Kelley says and I look at her confused. She lets out a sigh, “The short story is that she and Servando split up because he didn’t support her life choices, and he told her that he could never love someone like her.” Kelley sips on her beer before continuing, “Their divorce was final right before the start of the season, that’s why she hasn’t been acting like herself lately. She just really needs friends here since I’m not around that much.” I take a long gulp of my drink while I process what she just told me. “Look, I’ll be her friend because she obviously needs someone to talk to. And I can look out for Alex for you and let you know what’s going on,” I say causing her to smile big. “See that’s what I need, both of my best friends being friends,” she says as she clinks our drinks.

By the time Alex finds us, Kelley and I are already four beers in and also several shots in. As she sits down next to Kelley, after ordering her drink, she’s caught in an ‘argument’ between me and Kelley. “I’m just saying you could’ve gotten the ball to the right more, your right foot is your weapon. Use it!” Kelley practically yells at me. “Oh yeah, O’Hara? What about those sloppy passes you were sending to Christen? I know you can do better than that,” I shoot back at her causing her to get all defensive and flustered by my statement. That manages to get a laugh out of Alex, which is great because I don’t think I’ve seen her smile since we left my house. When we all finish our round of drinks, I offer to buy the next round as Kelley jumps up to dance to whatever song is playing in the bar.

Apparently, I’m the only one who can hold their alcohol, because at the end of our night out I’m the one dragging both of them out of two different bars and forcing them into the Uber. “We’re going to Y/N’s house!” I hear Kelley yell from the backseat. I roll my eyes at her and give the poor man my address, and we finally get away from the bar scene for tonight at least. When we get to my place I grab Kelley’s phone from her to send a text to her teammates letting them know where she is and that she’ll be back at the hotel in the morning. And yet again, I have to drag them through my house to the back patio. “Can we pleaseee have more drinks?” they both asked at the same time causing them to laugh (and me as well). Since I know neither of them are leaving my house tonight I give in. I walk over to my bar and grab Kelley the case of beer I bought for tonight, and a bottle of wine for me and Alex to share. 

Kelley, the party animal, plays her music from my outdoor sound system. She jumps up and down to the music around the patio while Alex and I just laugh at our best friend. I sneak inside with Luna, while Alex and Kelley start belting out a 90s hit song that I can’t remember the name to. I blow up the air mattress in the living room before I forget, or before I’m too drunk to remember to. I leave Luna asleep on the air mattress whenever I slip back outside. I take my spot next to Alex who’s listening to Kelley tell a story about a match she played in back when she was at Stanford. I take the opportunity to steal one of Kelley’s (my) beers.

As Kelley laughs at the end of her story, I take full advantage of the situation by recording her for my Instagram story. The music changes, although Kelley doesn’t notice because of her laughing. I recognize the song and start humming to it and begin swaying in my seat to the music, as I’m doing that I notice Alex go to stand up from her spot next to me. She sets the wine bottle down on the table and turns to me. “Do you wanna dance?” Alex manages to ask through drunken slurs with her hand out. I, in turn, let out a drunken laugh and then I take her hand pulling her close as we start dancing side to side, singing to the song. Kelley disappeared at some point but I don’t notice because I’m focused on Alex. Alex starts laughing, but before I realize at what, I focus in on her eyes. They were absolutely mesmerizing, and the way her face looks as she laughs is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. And oh god her laugh, it could cure any sadness. Wait, why am I looking at Alex like this and why is she laughing? “Kelley!” I laugh out, “Go put Luna back to bed before I make you go to bed.” As Kelley hurries back inside, I notice me and Alex are still embraced, but we aren’t dancing anymore. I pull away first, as smoothly as I can in my drunken state. I reach for my drink and sit back down in my spot and finally feel the buzz from all the alcohol I’ve consumed tonight.

After what feels like forever, Kelley comes back out to the patio. Except this time she has on different clothes, my clothes of course. I laugh loudly when I see her, because like I said before I’m five inches taller than her so that makes my t-shirts look like dresses on her. She does a little twirl showing us her whole outfit before going back to drinking her beer. Our night goes on about the same as it started, Kelley is showing off her dance moves, Alex is relaxing more, and I’m just really enjoying their company. 

I look at the clock on the wall to see what time of night it was, knowing that Kelley has to be up in the morning to meet her team and that I have to be up for my hike with Ali and Ash around the same time Kelley has to leave. “Okay,” I slur out, “Kelley has to be up in the morning and Krashlyn will kill me if I’m not up when they get here in the morning.” Kelley and Alex laugh in agreement to the last part. I stand up from the couch, gulp down the last of my beer and snag the practically empty wine bottle from Alex’s grasp.

Like how the rest of the night has gone, except with way more alcohol in our systems, I have to drag both of them back inside my house. The house is filled with drunken giggles whenever I leave them on my couch while I head to the kitchen. I grab the headache meds and bottles of water for everyone before walking back to my drunk friends. “Someone can sleep on the air mattress with Luna and the other person, whoever it is, can sleep with me upstairs, or you can both sleep down here with Luna. I don’t really care either way,” I slur as I say my goodnights while I walk up the stairs to my room. I collapse on my bed when I finally reach my room, as I do my phone dings. I look and, of course, it’s my group message with Sonny, Sammy, and Lindsey. Sonny and Lindsey have been arguing about who misses me the most (of course I know it’s Sonny) and Sammy is talking about how Rose’s dog doesn’t like her as much as Luna does. I remind all three of them that I did just see them all last week and that I’ll see them for National Team training pretty soon. I finally tell them to go to bed, send them all (especially Sonny) my love, and I plug my phone back in.

I decide that I really don’t want my bed to smell like sweat, beer, wine and whatever else Kelley managed to get me to drink in the morning. So I get up and take a hot shower. When I come out of my bathroom I hear a knock on my door, expecting Kelley to ask for more blankets like always. When I open the door I’m welcomed by a very drunk and smiley Alex Morgan. “Coould I borrow some clothess?” she manages to get out between giggles. I just laugh and nod my head to her question. I have to help her walk to my bed because walking is not Drunk Alex’s forte. I sit her down, give her a small smirk and turn to grab clothes for her to wear. I hand her the clothes and help her carefully to the bathroom so she can change. “Call if you need any help,” I say and she just smiles as I close the door. It doesn’t take her too long to come back out of the bathroom. I look up at her as she thanks me and tells me goodnight again before heading back downstairs.

I finally get into bed after a very long day and an even longer night. I set my alarm and shut off my bedside table lamp before turning to my side with my body pillow. As I was just about to fall asleep, I hear a noise outside my door. Confused, I get up out of bed and open my door. And there she is, with her killer smile and stunning blue eyes.

“Can I sleep with you?”

To be Continued

[xflower-childx]

The bitch I've become

I've had this familiar twist in my stomach for quite a while now, this urge to just throw the most important shit in my car, strap the dogs in and just leave. I remember how I did it in Florida and it took me a month, I had no money and no real plans at all, I only had a room set up, it took about 2 weeks later that I found BJS and it feels as though that's been the only stable thing since.

I'm tempted to do it all again soon, Meek has been pushing for me to do it. Sell everything, strap in the dogs and go to Portland, live out of my car and go from there. Honestly... I kinda want to. The only thing holding me back right now is funds... Which leads me to the call from Aunt K.

Now I knew I had some money coming my way from Gamberrys passing and that side of the family has always had money, but I assumed it would be a small amount that didn't mean too much but a small dent into bills. When Aunt K called she wanted to finalize an address for it to be mailed and she informed me it would be $5,000 and a ring of sorts since Grandma couldn't go anywhere without spending money. AK said she didn't care what I did with the ring, it wasn't anything sentimental, it was just an extra piece of jewelry that they had that was probably worth some money. The package came in today and the ring is rather pretty, not my taste at all but it's lovely, simple, very her, I feel like I may even remember her wearing it.

Some final Aunt K thoughts, I hope she's gonna be okay. Most of her time since the boys moved on with their lives was dedicated to grandma, and before I got off the phone with her, I asked how she was and she was grateful for the boys as they talked to her everyday and how my parents have done nothing for her. Now Aunt K has always been one of the plastics, a bit more... Out there compared to the rest of that side of the family but she's definitely one of the plastics so I know she never got along with our family perfectly, but I will say she was quite a bitch when speaking of my parents the was she did when she was on the phone with me. Now yes I agree with some of the shit she said but still... I never really cared much for Aunt K anyway though, she wasn't always the nicest aunt, she always seemed like a stickler to me... I mean she is a plastic.

As far as my parents, well I haven't talked to them much. I don't necessarily mean to push them away but they just bring negative energy, I find myself more annoyed when I see a message or call from them than I ever feel happy. I'm just having a hard time figuring out how I want them in my life, I've come to discover and accept that they're pretty toxic and manipulative in ways and I don't want that around, even in message form. They other day Faja messaged me asking me to call my mom because she's depressed and felt like no one loved her and that since I'm the only child they still have I should reach out more, I felt bad but I told my father that it wasn't my job to fix that, that if she wanted communication she was more than welcome to reach out but its not a child's job to hold a relationship with their parents and that I've been rather depressed as well and I need to focus on that. I don't want to hurt them and I know it does, but I also don't want to hurt in the process of helping them, as I have found myself hurting with communication in the past, and I feel anxious at the thought of communication with them.

I don't know anymore, I feel like I'm in a rather self destructive behavior of cutting people off, discovering the negative energy I don't need around and just shutting it all down. I've also felt bitchy and achey like I'm on my period but that was about a week ago. I keep getting snippy but I also know my depression and anxiety have been really high because I've been rather unhappy with work and where I'm at right now.

All I know is I'm so done with my stupid job, I've come to accept the only family I have is my dogs and occasionally my sister's along with Meek, and I'm about ready to pack up and say fuck it and move to Portland tomorrow.... Okay maybe like 3 months because I gotta figure out some connections first 😂 I mean I did it before with basically no money, I feel like I'd have better success now that I know what I'm doing a lot more. I mean hell I've already been looking at trailers ☺️

I know I'm at a setback and it's fine, it's one of those learning moments, I'm just pretty tired with this one and I'm ready for some good change now please, some solid friends who actually communicate and care, maybe someone to hike with when my ankle allows me to move properly pleaseee... Universe if you are reading this please and thanks!! 😂😝

[saltyandsassynomad]

I Am A Strong Woman But A Vulnerable Child

circa 1995

This was written during an English class of my freshman year of college.  We were tasked with coming up with a title or tagline for ourselves.  What is below is exactly what I wrote; no changes have been made. 25+ years later and sadly I have many of the same feelings.  

The life I live now started when my parents got divorced, that was back in the 4th grade, 1986.  My little sister and I went to live with my mother and my older sister went to live with my dad.  Everything seemed to be going OK until my mom lost her job. Come to find out from the other relatives, it was because she was getting a little too personal with the patients she worked with.  I never found out if it was true or not.  Before she lost her job she met this man named Dennis.  He was a veteran of the Vietnam War and an amputee so my mom took an instant liking to him.  Both my little sister, Michelle, and I went to meet him at the hospital (after my mom lost her job).  He was very friendly to us and us to him.  Shortly after that he went to Wisconsin to “take care of some business.”  We talked to him almost everyday and seemed to be getting really attached.  On one of our weekend visits to our fathers house, something happened to my sister Michelle.  She decided she didn’t want to go home to Mom.  WHen I got home there was a cop talking to my mom.  Apparently Michelle and Dad were pressing child abuse charges against my mom, claiming she hit us with extension cords, belts, coat hangers, etc.  It was all true but the funny thing was that both my parents did this to us when they were married.  I don’t know what made Michelle change her mind and to this day it is one thing I will also never know.  

When Dennis got back from Wisconsin he and Mom decided to get married.  They didn’t have any rings so they used foil and made some.  They went down to the city hall and got hitched.  During the ceremony Dennis was very much drunk.  That should have been the first clue something was wrong.  Back at our apartment Dennis continued to drink.  While drunk he would go around in his wheelchair banging into the walls, leaving holes, scratches, and all other kinds of marks.  This led to the eviction of our “happy little family.”  Mom and Dennis decided to move to Oregon to start again.  This would have been OK except mom's car just got repossessed.  Their first goal was to find a car.  Since we had 30 days to leave the apartment they went looking for a car while I was supposed to be cleaning the apartment. If the work wasn’t done up to my mothers standards by the time she got home she decided that she wasn’t going to say anything to me but instead just walk up backhand me.  I was 9 years old.  Well we eventually got to Portland, Oregon.  Since we had nowhere to live, Dennis went to the VA hospital and got himself admitted.  There was a man there that had a family and offered to let me stay with them while Mom and Dennis found somewhere else to stay.  My new room with the family I didn’t know was in the basement of their house.  Luckily there was a school down the street so I went and enrolled.  Missing my other family members again, my mom still insisting that they didn’t want anything to mdow th me.  She had already told me this before and now I believed her.  I mean she was my mother and they hadn’t made any effort to contact me (actually they had and my mother was hiding it all from me).  She had basically brainwashed into believing they hated me.  I stayed with this family for about 3 months when Mom & Dennis decided they were going to move back to California.  They left me with the family I was staying with so they could go back and get everything set up.  This was only one of the many times in my life where I was left behind for something better.  

After about 3 more months with this family, they decided they didn’t want me there anymore.  I got moved to a shelter for pregnant and runaway teens.  I was still in the 6th grade.  I stayed there for about 6 months before Mom & Dennis came to get me.  We ended up in Concord, CA.  At first we stayed with this “lawyer” guy that Dennis knew.  I came to find out later that Dennis knew him through their drug deals with each other. Finally we lived in an apartment in a not-so-good part of town.  I enrolled in school again and finally finished 6th grade.  All the while neither Dennis nor my mother have a job.  They use his disability and go begging at churches for food.  Welfare and food stamps were a big part of my life.  During this time the abuse got worse.  It was not only physical but also mental and verbal.  Luckily never sexual like my earliest years.  

There was a school closer to my house than the one I was going to.  I had to transfer and once again had to leave my old school friends behind and make new ones.  At my new school I met a girl named Laura.  At first weren’t that good of friends but later in my life she became an instrumental part of helping me survive.  The problems at my house were getting so bad I ended up spending Christmas eve with my neighbor and her family.  My mom would tell me that no one wanted me because I was dirty and disrespectful.  When we were kids we were taught to never disrespect someone so where she got this idea, I don’t know.  She would also let Dennis’ mother call me a “dirty little Mexican whore” and not say anything.  One time she decided that she didn’t want me there anymore and made me pack all my stuff to move out (I was in 7th grade).  When I was done packing she had me put all my stuff on the porch and sit outside.  She finally decided that I could stay and made me unpack everything.  Another example are the times she would get me a dog, let me keep it for a few months, get attached to them then say “it ran away” while I was at school.  I know she gave them (more than one) away.  

One day in 8th grade I decided I couldn’t take anymore of the abuse so when my mother proceeded to hit me again I fought back and defended myself.  I threw a bowl at her and had to swing a walking stick to keep her off me.  She never hit me again.  

Shortly after that we got evicted again.  We lived in our car for a while then Dennis devised some plan to get himself admitted to a hospital so he had somewhere to stay.  The hospital was in San Francisco and my mom went to visit him all the time.  Some nights she would stay with him so that meant I was in the car by myself.  I eventually lived with my next door neighbor for a couple of weeks.  One day my mom called to talk to me and I told her I wanted to find my dad and stay with him.  She flipped out.  The next day when I came home from school my neighbor, Candy, told me “they’re coming to get you.”  A feeling told me inside that something bad would happen if I went with them, so I took off for Laura’s house (we had become good friends by this time).  I explained the situation to her mom and she was trying to help me out.  I ended up going to the police station and staying there for a while.  After explaining what happened, they decided the best thing for me was to stay in another shelter for troubled kids.  After some pushing and prodding, I got to stay with Laura.  My Mom didn’t fuss or fight or anything.  

That is until  a few weeks later when she decided that I needed counseling (for all 3 of us).  Since I admitted I wasn’t happy and had thought about dying, I was admitted to a special hospital where I spent a week.  By the time I left the hospital, they said my mother needed the evaluation not me.  I stayed with Laura and finished 8th grade.  I started prepping for high school when my Mom decided to stir everything up and cause problems.  By law when you don’t want to live with our parents and there is trouble in the house, you have to live with relatives before friends.  I chose my aunt and uncle in Pleasanton because they had more money than any other relatives and I was sick of being poor.  I never told them this and I never will.  

I left my old friends behind again.  I thought everything was going to be OK.  I even called my dad after not seeing him for over 4 years and talked to him.  We both cried.  Well to try and make a very long story shorter, he is now a very big drug addict along with my older sister.  My little sister now lives with another aunt and uncle.  My dad doesn’t care about me, only his drugs and I know this for a fact.  My mother and I haven’t spoken in over 5 years and right now I have no intention of speaking to her.  She is supposed to love me unconditionally and she didn’t.  No one ever has.  My aunt and uncle that I live with have negative feelings towards me because of my parents behaviors and actions.  They are doing everything they can to make me leave.  They are also mentally abusive.  Mostly my uncle.  But I’ve been through too much in my life to let this set me back.  I am determined to graduate from college.  No one in my family ever has.  

So you see, I am a strong woman in the aspect that I have been through so much and I can handle most anything.  I would never change a thing because it has made me stronger.  Except for one thing.  I am a vulnerable child when it comes to love.  No one has ever loved me unconditionally and it tears me apart.  There is a hole in my heart.  Everyone that I have remotely cared for has found someone or something better.  I have never been #1.  This will stay with me until the day I die. To know that your parents and even the rest of your family doesn’t want you around, can tear you apart.  I am a strong person and I will survive.  There is a reason this is all happening to me.  Well more than one.  One of them is I will never be like my parents or the rest of my family.  I can overcome anything...eventually.  

[gaytrashgoblin]

Merry Pitchmas!

Merry Pitchmas and happy holidays @anotherbechloeshipper​ from your secret santa! Have a wonderful winter break and I hope you enjoy the fic :)

It had been an ongoing mystery in the Bella House who decorated for Christmas. After trying for literal months their first year in the house receiving nothing, the girls gave up, assuming it was Chloe, no matter how adamantly she denied it. The second year, the girls were still just as curious, but kept their speculations and questions to themselves mostly, knowing that whoever was decorating wasn’t going to give themself up. It became something of a running joke in the house, wondering who the decorator was and why they skipped all of the other holidays. And while the secret would remain a secret for the Bellas as a whole, Chloe was going to learn come the third year. 

Beca and Chloe had started seeing each other the summer after Beca’s freshman year. Since the relationship was so new when the holidays came around, they went their separate ways for Thanksgiving and Christmas with plans for Skype dates and promises of calls. During Beca’s Sophomore year, they stayed in Barden for Thanksgiving with Beca’s father and step-mother, then spent Christmas in Florida with Chloe’s family, each welcoming the respective girlfriend with open arms. Having spent this Thanksgiving with the Beales, Beca and Chloe found themselves headed for Portland, Oregon, where Beca’s maternal family waited. 

“Rebs!” Shouted two rather short brunette women, who quickly made their way to where Beca and Chloe were waiting for their bags. 

“Mama, Aunt Shan,” Beca responded excitedly, hugging both women to Chloe’s surprise. “This is my girlfriend, Chloe,” she continued, grabbing her hand and pulling her forward. 

“It’s so wonderful to finally meet you! I’m Beca’s mother, Dianna, and this is my sister Shan,” she said, embracing the redhead as she had done her daughter. 

“You too! Thank you for having me for the holiday.” Dianna waved her off while Beca and her aunt grabbed their bags. Chloe watched happily as Beca chatted animatedly with her mother and aunt the whole way to their home, telling them about school, her budding relationship with her father, and, of course, their relationship. Chloe chimed in here and there, but she was content watching Beca and how happy she seemed around her mom. It was a refreshing change from how uncomfortable she was around her father. The surprises didn’t seem to stop as they arriuved at the modest home, and Beca was attacked by her family with greetings and affection. She returned greetings and hugs and introduced Chloe to Shan’s husband and their children, Beca’s cousins. After brief introductions, Beca showed Chloe upstairs to her childhood bedroom. Chloe took in the room with a look of contemplation. The walls were light blue and, obviously, had several music posters and vinyl records on them. But for the most part it was bright and happy. 

“So… surprised?” Beca asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. 

“Mmm, a little. I was expecting it to be pink,” she teased. Beca shook her head with a laugh.

“Ok nerd. C’mon, mom and Shan said they’d leave some of the decorating for us to do.” Beca pulled Chloe by her hand back downstairs and to the living room, where her family was chatting, patiently waiting for them.

“Ah, there she is! Now we can get this tree decorated,” Shan stated, moving to grab a few boxes labeled “xmas tree.” Sitting down, Chloe watched as they all grabbed ornaments with their names on them and placed them on the tree, when a little box came into her line of sight. 

“For you,” was all Beca said, dangling the box lightly. Chloe shot her a puzzled smile as she opened the box and found a little angel with her name on it. Beca pulled her up and led her to the tree, then pointed to a spot next to one of the ornaments. Chloe noticed then that all of them had an angel with their name, and Beca had left a space next to hers for Chloe to place her own. Tears filled her eyes as she glanced at Beca and Dianne. Beca placed a hand on her back and nodded, so she carefully put her angel up on the tree.

“Alright, the little ones are going to do the tree, Rebs if you wanna do your thing, with Chloe, of course.” Beca smiled, which did not help Chloe’s confusion. 

“I’ll be right back,” she said, pressing a kiss to Chloe’s cheek. She returned a few minutes later with a large plastic bin of Christmas decorations, and Christmas music had started softly playing from a speaker on the mantle. “Alright, you ready to decorate?” She asked, gesturing to the box. 

“What are we decorating exactly?” 

“Uhh, I’m not sure what all mama left for me- us. For us. But usually the banister on the stairs, doorways, and mantle, and tables. Garland on the banister and mantle and lights and fake candles on the tables.” The more Beca rambled, the more pieces fell into place for Chloe. 

“Wait wait wait, you do this every year? Like all out decorating? And Christmassy?” 

“Yeah?” She asked, tilting her head. While she had never paraded around her love of the holiday, she hadn’t particularly hidden it. Chloe looked at her for a moment before her face lit up.

“O-M- aca-G! You’re the mystery decorator!” 

“Well, yeah,” she said smiling. “I figured you knew that. I never like, hid it from you.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked, pouting. Beca cupped Chloe’s face with one hand, running her thumb across her pouted lip. 

“No one asked if it was me, so I never said anything,” she shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. Now, are you gonna help me decorate or not?” Chloe nodded, beaming. Together, they decorated the house while singing along with the music Beca had playing, some mixes some just the regular songs. After decorating, they had dinner and hot chocolate. Beca took two mugs and gestured for Chloe to follow her outside, where she sat down on a porchswing, haning her the second mug.

“So, do you have anymore Christmas secrets to share?” Chloe asked coyly, taking a sip of the cocoa.

“Well, now that you mention it, I do, actually.” Beca stopped their, sipping from her own mug. Chloe stared at her, waiting for her to continue. When Beca was unable to hide her smirk, she slapped her shoulder.

“Out with it woman!” 

“Okay, okay! Geez,” she said, rubbing her shoulder. Looking out over the yard, she continued, voice soft, “Shan’s first kid, Maddy, got really sick when she was little, like six, I was 15 or something. She was in the hospital for a long time. They hoped she would be able to go home for Christmas, but it didn’t end up that way. Christmas was always mama and Shan’s favorite, mine too, so it we wanted to do something for them. Mom and I arranged with the hospital to let us come in on Christmas day and deliver all of ‘santas’ gifts to Maddy. She was so happy when we got there, all in costume and everything with a bag that had her presents in it,” she paused, emotional from the memory. 

“Anyway, I remember seeing all the other kids light up when we passed their rooms dressed up. Maddy got better after a few more months, but, I don’t know, I just couldn’t stop thinking about all the other kids in her situation. Stuck in the hospital sick and miserable, you know? And how happy Maddy looked when we got there. So mom and I made it a tradition for Christmas to bring a bunch of toys to the kids’ unit of the hospital dressed up as santa’s helpers,” she explained. “I wanted to ask you if you’d come with us? Usually it’s just me and mom, but I thought maybe mom could pass out gifts and we could sing some Christmas songs for them? If you don’t want to you don’t have to-”

“Beca,” she said, cutting off her rambling,” I would be honored to come with you.” 

“You would?” she asked, smile growing. 

“Yes.” They were both quiet for a moment, just smiling at each other. “I always knew you were a good person, but this makes me love you more than I already do,” Chloe said softly. 

“I love you too, Chlo,” she responded, kissing her sweetly.

 Chloe was filled with nervous energy. She, Beca, and Dianne, were all in the elevator dressed up like santa, about to give presents and holiday cheer to a floor full of sick children. Dianne had a bag of various toys, Beca had an acoustic guitar strapped to her back, and Chloe had a box with coloring sheets and Crayons, all ready to spread some happiness and give these kids a moment to be children again. There was an area on the floor for the more mobile kids to sit and play, which is where Beca and Chloe set up, while Dianna went to the rooms with the not so mobile kids with presents first. Chloe was helping get the kids set up with their pictures and crayons when Beca had started double checking the tuning of her guitar. There was a little girl, who looked rather worse for wear, sitting on a little chair alone, and Beca went and sat next to her, leaning down to speak quietly. Chloe watched as Beca coaxed a smile and a little giggle from the girl, then nodded her head in Chloe’s direction. The little girl looked up at her with wide eyes, then turned back to Beca, who nodded again. A moment later, a familiar tune filled the room. 

As Beca began singing the lyrics to White Winter Hymnal, Chloe’s absolute favorite Christmas song, the smile on her face only grew. She picked up and joined after the opening, making her way around the room of happy children while doing so. As Chloe swayed her way toward Beca, a few of the children got up and started dancing, so she made her way to them and danced with them while singing with Beca. She noticed that some parents had joined in singing and even dancing. The nurses were smiling and singing, and a warmth spread in her chest as she looked around at the scene they had managed to create. How something as simple as a Christmas song and some coloring could bring these children and their parents so much joy so easily. Chloe found herself having to force her tears back as she continued dancing and singing with the kids. It wasn’t until they were getting ready to pack up their things that Chloe found a moment to speak with Beca. 

“Thank you for bringing me with you.” 

“Of course, thanks for coming willingly,” she joked, placing her guitar down to help clean up. 

“No, I mean it. This… this was such an amazing thing, and I’m just… I’m really happy you shared it with me,” she said, tearing up again. Beca ran her thumbs under her eyes softly, catching the lone tear that had fallen. 

“There’s no one else I would share it with but you. You nerd,” she said, getting a small laugh out of Chloe. “I love you, Chlo. And… I’d like to keep this tradition with you, if you want,” she said hesitantly, resting her forehead against hers. 

“I love you too. And I would love to keep this tradition with you.” They stood with each other for a moment, enjoying their closeness, before Chloe smiled teasingly. 

“I can’t wait to tell the girls who the mystery decorator is.” 

[bechloeislegit]

My Spy - Chapter 2

A/N: I had a couple of things I wanted to mention but forgot to put on the first chapter: First, I've taken some liberties and had Beca and the freshman Bellas living in the Bellas House since they were officially Bellas. Second, I have loosely followed the timelines set out in each of the PP movies, with some literary license on some of the events. Third, I will be using flashbacks to tell some of Beca and Chloe's history from when they were together and from their individual lives; flashbacks will be in Italics.

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The Bellas walked out of the diner to see Beca sitting on a bench, with her head down. Stacie and Aubrey broke away from the group and went over to her. The other girls stayed back to give them some space.

"What happened, Beca?" Stacie asked as she sat on the bench next to Beca.

"What did Chloe say?" Aubrey asked as she, too, took a seat on the bench.

"I didn't talk to her," Beca mumbled.

"What do you mean you didn't talk to her?" Aubrey asked.

"I called and got one of those messages stating the number was no longer in service," Beca said, wiping her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Beca," Stacie said, pulling Beca into a hug.

CR started walking over to the bench; the rest of the Bellas followed.

"Beca, can we do anything?" CR asked.

Beca just shook her head.

"I guess we'll just have to wait to see if Chloe reaches out to you," Aubrey said.

"I don't know if I even want to talk to her anymore," Beca blurted out.

"Don't you want some answers?" Jessica asked. "Answers that only Chloe can provide?"

~~ My Spy ~~

Later that night, instead of being on her way home to Portland as she had planned, Chloe was on a plane with other agents bound for Washington, DC. Her bosses decided that all the undercover agents involved in the drug bust needed to fly to Headquarters for a debriefing.

Chloe stared out the plane's window, wondering what Beca was doing now.

"She probably hates me," Chloe thought as an unwanted tear rolled down her cheek.

Chloe discreetly wiped the tear while glancing at her partner and seatmate to make sure he hadn't noticed. She was lucky; he was talking to another agent across the aisle from them.

Chloe looked up when one of the agents in the seat in front of her got on his knees and leaned his arms on the back of his seat. He looked at Chloe and smiled.

"Nice tackle on that guy, Beale," he said.

"Um, thanks, Davidson," Chloe responded.

"So, uh, some of us are planning to get a drink once we get situated at the hotel," Davidson said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was wondering if you would like to join us?"

"No, thanks," Chloe said. "I'm kind of tired. I think I'll just spend some quiet time in my room once we get there. Thanks for the invite, though."

"Sure, no problem," Davidson said before turning and sitting back down in his seat.

Chloe went back to staring out the window at the night sky. She was overthinking everything.

"I should call Beca and see if she's ready to talk to me. God, I hope she still wants to talk to me."

For the second time in ten minutes, Chloe tried to discreetly wipe a tear away, surprised to find both cheeks wet as more tears streamed down her face.

Chloe's partner, Jason, saw this and was momentarily shocked. The ever-stoic Agent Beale does not show her true emotions to anyone. Ever. He always admired that about her because it's a large part of what makes her a good agent.

Jason knew Chloe would be teased and bothered by the other agents. So he did what any good partner would do. He put his arm around her and sat sideways while wrapping his other arm around Chloe's shoulder and putting her face into his chest, essentially hiding Chloe's face from everyone's view.

"You look tired, Beale," Jason said loud enough for others to hear. "Feel free to lean on me and get some sleep."

Chloe nodded into Jason's chest and whispered a teary thank you.

~~ My Spy ~~

It had been four days since Beca last saw or spoke to Chloe. It had also been four days since her dad and the others had been arrested. Her father being arrested is still something she was having trouble wrapping her head around.

Beca's mother sent her money so she could replace her broken phone, with the promise that Beca would get a new number so Chloe couldn't contact her. Beca couldn't keep that promise, so she sat with her brand new phone with the same old number, staring at texts she and Chloe had shared over the past year.

Beca had gone back and forth about whether she wanted to call Chloe and would then remember that the number she had for Chloe had already been canceled. She was pacing around her room when her phone rang.

"Hello," Beca said, answering the call without looking at the caller ID.

"I was wondering why you hadn't called to give me your new number," Beca's mother, Sarah, said.

Beca swallowed. "I'm sorry. I'm still hoping that Chloe will call so that she can explain everything."

"Hmm," Sarah said. "I don't know if I would believe anything she had to say."

"I still need an explanation of some kind," Beca said as tears stung her eyes. "I love her, mom."

"How can you still say that?" Sarah asked. "She obviously was using you to get to your father."

"Is that what you think?" Beca scoffed. "Well, you're wrong. And stop blaming Chloe or anyone else, and put the blame where it belongs. Dad wouldn't have been arrested if he hadn't been involved in a drug ring in the first place."

Sarah sighed into the phone. "I didn't call to fight with you."

"Then why did you call?"

"I called because you've only got a couple of weeks until Spring Break, and I want you to come home. You don't have to worry about the cost, I'll pay for your ticket."

"Oh," Beca said. "I was, uh, kind of planning on coming home and bringing Chloe to meet you. I guess I can still come, but it will just be me."

It hurt Sarah's heart to hear Beca sounding so emotional and defeated.

"Baby, I know you're hurting," Sarah said. "Come home and you can forget about Chloe, your father, and everything else. At least for a little while."

Beca sniffled. "I already said I'd come."

"Good," Sarah said. "I'll buy your ticket and send the confirmation to your email. Keep an eye out for it; I know how you are about reading your emails."

"Text me when you send it," Beca said. "That way I can't miss it."

"I can do that," Sarah said. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Beca said. "Talk to you later. And, mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

~~ My Spy ~~

After four days, the debriefings were done and everyone was told they could go home.

"I'm beat," Chloe thought as she entered her hotel room. "It's been four extremely long and tiring days. The debriefings we had to suffer through for four days, could have been accomplished in a few hours."

Chloe threw her laptop on the bed and sat down. Her thoughts took over again.

"It's also been four days of no responses to texts I sent to Beca with my new number. Four days of phone calls going unanswered. Four days of missing Beca more than I've ever missed anyone in my life, even my parents. Four days of suffering the uncertainty about where my relationship with Beca stands."

"Who am I kidding?" Chloe mumbled as she fell back onto the bed. "I'm sure there's no chance of there even being a relationship anymore."

"Go home," the Director had told them before dismissing them for the day.

"Home?" Chloe questioned as she laid there wondering where "home" even was. Barden had been her home for almost four years. She was still enrolled as a student, and she only had a couple of months before she graduated. It was probably for the best if she went back and finished out the year. And if she happened to get to see and speak to Beca, even better.

Chloe's thoughts moved on to her Aunt Peggy and Uncle Matt. Her uncle is the one who got her involved in the agency to begin with, and she definitely didn't want to go to Portland and hear how she screwed up by falling in love while on the job.

Even as she thought this, she knew that no matter what anyone told her, she would never regret falling in love with Beca. She had tried not to let it happen; God knows she had tried. But, she finally accepted that it was meant to be and let it happen. And it was amazing.

Chloe quietly laid there with a plethora of thoughts running through her head. Her last thought fell back to her Uncle Matt, the man she held responsible for everything, good and bad, that had happened since he recruited her. It wasn't long before Chloe had fallen asleep and her thoughts invaded her dreams.

Chloe was a month into her Junior Year at Barden when she was surprised to see her Uncle Matt's name on her caller ID; he rarely called. He usually communicated with her via text.

"Hello, Uncle Matt," Chloe said, answering the call. "Why are you calling?"

"Chloe," Matt said. "I have an opportunity that I think you'd be wonderful for."

"What kind of opportunity?"

"I want you to help us with a case I'm working on," Matt said. "It has to do with Barden University and since you're already a student, you're the perfect person to help.

"What's the case?"

"We've been investigating a drug ring that's operating out of Mexico," Matt said. "They are moving the drugs up the East Coast and we have evidence that Barden is a major hub. We believe there are professors and students involved in the buying and selling of those drugs. We need an agent on the inside to help us gather more evidence about the drug ring and how it operates."

"But, I'm not an agent," Chloe said.

"You will be," Matt said. "We'll train you during your Winter Break. Six weeks is plenty of time to get the minimum training needed to do this. And then, if needed, we can give you more extensive training during the Summer Break."

"Can I think about it?" Chloe asked.

"Sure," Matt said, smiling. "Just don't wait too long. In the meantime, keep your eyes open around campus. If you see anything suspicious, call me."

"I will, Uncle Matt," Chloe said. "I have to go. I have a class."

A week later Chloe had seen a drug deal going down so she called her Uncle Matt to tell him about it. Agents arrived within minutes and she watched as the guys were arrested. She got such a rush from it that she immediately called her uncle and agreed to work for him on the case from that moment on.

Chloe woke up with a start when someone knocked on her hotel room door. She sat up and looked around.

"Chloe? It's Uncle Matt," Matt's voice called out from the hallway.

Her Uncle Matt coming to see her was not a surprise considering he was kind of her boss and it was his case. Chloe jumped up and ran to the door, opening it.

"Come in, Uncle Matt," Chloe said to the man.

Matt entered the room and turned to Chloe.

"Have a seat," Chloe said, motioning to the chairs around a small table.

Chloe walked over and sat down, expecting her uncle to do the same. Instead, Matt remained standing and was pacing back and forth. After a few minutes of him not speaking, Chloe became fidgety.

"So, what's up?" Chloe finally asked.

"I've been hearing some rumors that there is something going on between you and Beca Mitchell."

"Was," Chloe said.

Matt stopped pacing and looked at Chloe.

"I'm sorry, what?" Matt said

"There was something going on between me and Beca Mitchell," Chloe said. "But, thanks to you having everyone arrested on campus instead of waiting to catch them receiving the drug shipment, it's no longer an issue. My cover was blown and now she hates me."

Matt ran a hand through his hair. "We had to do it, Chloe. We got word that the Mexicans knew about our planned raid and had the shipment delivered early. We weren't prepared for that, so arresting the sellers was the only way we could keep most of the drugs off the streets. You should be proud; the agency considers this a success."

"Good for you," Chloe said, standing and facing Matt. "Is that it?"

Matt sighed and said, "Your Aunt Peggy wants to know if you're coming home."

"Home?" Chloe snorted. "I don't even know where home is anymore. My plan is to go back to Barden to finish the year so I can graduate."

"You do know you will always have a home with us, right?" Matt said. "You're like our own daughter."

"Would you have recruited your own daughter to be an agent?"

Matt swallowed and looked down. "Probably not."

"That's what I thought," Chloe said, walking over to the door and pulling it open. "I think you should go now."

Matt looked at Chloe and walked to the door.

"Please think about seeing your Aunt Peggy at some point," Matt said. "She misses you."

Chloe looked down at the floor, not saying anything. Matt kissed the top of Chloe's head before stepping through the doorway and walking away.

Chloe let the door close and went over to her suitcase. She started throwing her clothes into it.

Once everything was packed, Chloe got on her computer to book a flight to Atlanta. After confirming a flight for the next day, she bought a used car through an online car dealership near campus. She also put a down payment on a furnished apartment, sight unseen, just off Barden's campus.

~~ My Spy ~~

The next day, Chloe flew to Atlanta. She took an Uber to the used car lot and drove her 'new' car to her apartment.

Once she had the apartment keys in hand, she checked out the apartment and unpacked her clothes. Looking around she decided to drive to a nearby store to purchase a few groceries.

After a light dinner, Chloe pulled out her laptop and opened the email she had sent to herself with the phone numbers of all the Bellas. She picked up her phone preparing to send a text.

Chloe chewed on her lip, trying to decide which of the Bellas would be the most receptive to her. She smiled as she looked through the list and made her decision. She put in the number and started typing, hitting send when she was satisfied with what she had written.

UnknownNumber: Lily, this is Chloe Beale. I know you and the Bellas are angry with me, but please hear me out. I've tried calling and texting Beca but haven't received a response. I know she's angry and hurt but would you give her my new number and ask her to call me? I really need to speak to her. My number is (555) 809-1985. I'm really sorry about everything. I hope one day you can all forgive me.

Lily was shocked when she saw the text from Chloe. She was torn as to what to do. She didn't tell anyone about the text, but she did respond.

Lily: Beca busted her phone the night of the arrests. I will give her your number, but I can't promise she'll use it. And, for what it's worth, I understand you were doing your job so I forgive you. Good luck to you.

Chloe was surprised to receive a response so quickly. She knew that Lily was different and the rest of the Bellas wouldn't be so quick to forgive her. She had to admit, it felt good to have at least one of them forgive her. It also made her hopeful for the first time since she and Beca last saw each other.

UnknownNumber: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

After sending the final text, Chloe put all the Bellas' numbers back in her phone, hoping she' be using them one day soon.

~~ My Spy ~~

Chloe knew that if she was going to resume attending classes she would need her textbooks. All of which were still in the room she had shared with Beca in the Bellas House. She thought about asking Lily to get them and bring them to her. She quickly dismissed that idea because it would mean telling Lily she was in Barden, and she wasn't ready to do that just yet.

An hour later, Chloe was dressed all in black, sitting in her car parked down the street from the Bellas House. She knew the Bellas had a rehearsal and would be leaving soon.

Chloe felt bad because the Bellas would have to change the choreography to accommodate her absence. Aubrey would also have to give her solo to someone else. Chloe had loved singing with the Bellas and especially with Beca.

Chloe checked the time and sat up in her seat to watch the front door of the Bellas House. It was less than a minute later the door opened and the girls were coming out. Chloe watched and started counting so she would know when they had all vacated the House.

Chloe's breath hitched when saw Beca walking out after Stacie. It took everything she had not to jump out of the car and run to Beca and pull her into a hug.

As soon as the group rounded the corner at the opposite end of the street, Chloe got out of her car. She looked around and all was quiet.

Chloe stuck her hands in the pockets of her hoodie and kept her head down as she made her way to the house. She was able to enter with no trouble.

Once inside, Chloe stood and listened to ensure the place was empty. When she was sure, she made her way to Beca's room, stopping outside the door for a moment as memories of the intimate moments she shared with Beca in the room, rushed into her head.

Chloe took in a deep breath and opened the door, scanning the room before quickly gathering her books and stuffing them into the backpack she was carrying. She saw Beca's favorite hoodie lying on the bed and picked it up. She put it to her nose and inhaled deeply; it smelled of Beca. She shoved the hoodie into the backpack and took it with her, quickly making her way out of Beca's room and the Bellas House.

Chloe didn't breathe again until she was safely back in her apartment.

[aeneidpdf]

big sky country

chapter: 3/?

word count: 4.3k+

summary: they set out for Niagara Falls, and stop for lunch at Becket Quarry.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24394804/chapters/59282086

They got through the checkout line quickly, and then they were back in the van- Pete in the back, Ray and Art in the middle seats, and Abraham and Collie up front. Abraham fiddled with his phone, pulling up the directions to Niagara Falls while Collie popped in the first of the Johnny Cash CDs that Pete had bought.

It was the American IV: The Man Comes Around album. Johnny Cash’s voice came over the speakers, saying: "And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder. One of the four beasts saying, 'Come and see.' and I saw, and behold a white horse."

“Great,” Abraham said. “A song about judgement day to start our trip. That’s not a bad sign at all.”

“It’s just a song,” Ray said.

“Ray’s right,” Pete added, lazing in the back row. “No need to worry yourself, Abe. Geez, good thing it wasn’t God’s Gonna Cut You Down or we never would’ve gotten this thing off the ground.”

In the side mirror, Art could see a hint of a grimace on Abraham’s face, but Collie was laughing and asking him to start the directions. Over top of the music, came the canned voice of the maps app: “Turn right to merge onto Maine Turnpike toward I-95. In 55 miles, keep left on I-95 South.”

Collie whistled low through his teeth. “Shit. Fifty-five miles.”

“Better get a move on!” It was Pete, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Lot more where that came from.”

Collie didn’t answer that, and they pulled out of the parking lot and merged onto the Maine Turnpike. Art didn’t quite know what he thought about the song, but he felt like he was on Abraham’s side. He didn’t practice much now, but he was raised Baptist, and his family had been heavily involved in the church down home in Louisiana, until they moved. They’d found a new church when they moved up to Maine. Art had been baptized in Highland Lake, just a thirty minute drive out of Portland, when he was eleven.

He had stood in the water that came up nearly to his armpits, his clothing floating loose around him and the marshy bottom of the lake swirling and tugging at his feet. It was a bright hot day in early May, but the water was cold, and the look in the minister’s eyes was serious. Art had been scared then. He wanted to turn tail and run back to his mother. But his mother and father and aunt and uncle were watching with bated breath, and his siblings were waiting on the shore, their shoes and socks shucked off and tossed aside. They were watching him too, and waiting for their turn. He was the oldest now; he had to be brave.

Art had then been dunked under the water and he resisted the urge to thrash against the strong hands that held him. The lake water wrapped around him and engulfed him like a coffin. He was drowning. He had forgotten to take a breath before the minister submerged him, and now he was drowning. He thought of another body, rotting in standing water, and bubbles expelled from his mouth in a mad burst as he let out a soundless scream. Finally, he was hauled up by the collar of his starched white dress shirt, and he came up breathless and temporarily blinded by the sun, while his mother cheered hysterically on the shore.

Thinking of it now still made him feel like he was going to be sick.

Even more than religion though, his life was ruled by superstition.

Superstitions were as sure as summer storms and waves of summer heat rising up from the cracked and melted asphalt. The whole south was steeped in superstition, and the Baker family was no exception. Superstition worked its way into the practices and customs of every season. On New Year’s, they ate black-eyed peas and collard greens for good luck and money. In fact, that was what they ate nearly all year round, because that was what they could afford.

The Baker children went around town with dimes strung around their necks to ward off the devil, and whenever his mother opened a new loaf of bread, she threw the first end slice in the garbage. “To keep money comin’ our way,” she explained when Art asked about it. Art watched, forlorn and hungry, as she tossed the bread into the garbage. Money never seemed to come their way.

In the summer, when the alligators came out of hibernation and the humidity floated off the wetlands and settled heavily over everything, Art was warned about alligators climbing out of the bayou and slithering under his house. Those meant there would be a death in the family soon. Art always took the stairs up and down the porch two at a time, frantic to get away from the monster hiding under the house, waiting for the perfect moment to snap at his ankles and drag him under.

There weren’t any alligators in Maine, but Art still sometimes dreamed of one, lying in wait for him, red eyes glowing out of the darkness. He shuddered imperceptibly at the thought.

Would a song ruin their whole trip? No, but a part of him still felt apprehensive.

Outside the window, South Portland disappeared, and they were on the Maine Turnpike, heading south. The song had changed, and Hurt was playing now. Over the van’s speaker system, Johnny Cash’s voice sang: “What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end.” The guitar melody built behind his voice in a way that made Art’s chest tighten. It rose in a crescendo and then disappeared as the next verse began.

“Have any of you heard the original of this song?” Ray asked.

From behind them, Pete answered, “Yeah. Nine Inch Nails. It’s good, but, you know, it’s not this.”

“I’d be fucking pissed if I wrote a song and then found out Johnny Cash did a cover of it,” Collie said.

Abraham laughed in the passenger seat. “Of course you’d be pissed.”

“Well, yeah! You write a song about some personal shit, and then Johnny Cash comes along and sings it and makes it a hundred times better. How would you feel?”

He thought for a moment and shrugged. “Shit, yeah. I guess I’d be kinda mad too.”

“You guys are thinking about it the wrong way,” Art said. “Imagine getting a call that Johnny Cash wants to record your song? That’d be exciting. That’d be an honor.”

He could see Collie looking at him in the rearview mirror, his eyes creased with his smile. “I guess that’s right.” It made Art smile too, and duck his head.

“It’s a good thing you’re on this thing with us, Art,” Abraham said, twisting around in his seat to face him. “It’s a good thing at least one of us isn’t an asshole.”

“Hey!” Pete protested. “Ray’s not an asshole.”

Ray snorted, and said, “Thanks, Pete.” Abraham twisted back around in his seat. The song changed. Art looked back out the window.

///

In a half hour, approximately forty miles into their journey, they passed a sign saying that there was a  toll plaza in four miles.

“Alright,” Collie said, turning the music down a few notches. “Who brought cash for tolls?” Silence answered him. Art had completely forgotten that they’d even need to pay tolls. “Jesus, nobody?”

“There’s a rest stop coming up on the right,” Abraham told him, reading the road signs as they zoomed past. “There’ll be an ATM there. We can take some cash out there.”

A couple miles down the road and they pulled into the rest stop. The parking lot was mostly empty as they all piled out of the minivan. The rest stop was a small building with a dramatically slanting roof and the front was mostly covered over with windows. Out front was a Smokey the Bear statue with a sign next to him proclaiming the fire danger in the area for today. The risk was low.

“I say we each take out $20,” Abraham suggested. “That should be good to start out, right?”

“I think so,” Ray said, looking like he was deep in thought. “After this, we’ve got a toll to get on the New Hampshire turnpike, and a shitton of them in Massachusetts. Once we’re west of New York, I have no clue.”

“Geez, you’re like a walking road map,” Pete said admiringly. Ray ducked his head. “We can spend whatever leftover cash we have on food and stuff.”

The group turned and headed towards the rest stop. Art followed, but Collie caught his arm and held him back. Art looked down at the hand and then into his friend’s face. Collie dropped his hand quickly.

“Art, if you want I can take out money for both of us,” he offered, his face flushed like he was embarrassed. “You don’t have to take out the $20 if you don’t want to.” Art heard the implication there. He meant: “if you can’t.”

Now it was Art’s turn to feel embarrassed. It brought him back to being a kid, and not being allowed to go to birthday parties because he couldn’t afford to rent the bowling shoes or the roller skates. It brought him back to eleventh grade, when they all got their driver’s licenses and started to go out to eat on the weekends and pass late nights crammed into diner booths. Pete had always pulled him aside and offered to pay his way for him. Pete always looked at him with a kind and earnest look in his eyes, and shame always rolled around in Art’s stomach like a hot coal.

He felt it now, rolling around in his stomach and pressing down on the back of his neck, forcing him to look down at his shoes. Collie was bouncing from one foot to the other, looking back at the rest stop every so often. The others were probably already crowded around the ATM, wondering what the hell was wrong with them.

“It’s alright, Collie. I can pay my own way. I have some money saved up,” he answered, finally looking back up at Collie. “Besides, it’s not like any of us have a ton of money.” Sickly he thought: there’s a big difference between being middle class and being poor. He knew that, and he knew Collie knew that. For a second, he thought Collie was going to say it, but mercifully, he didn’t. He just patted Art on the back, and the two of them walked across the parking lot to the rest stop.

///

Once they had finished at the rest stop, Collie had a modest stack of twenty dollar bills in his hand. The twisted the key in the ignition and the van rumbled to life. They pulled easily out onto the highway.

It was still only 9:30 in the morning, and the only traffic was huge semi-trucks carrying goods and produce across state lines. They rose up around the minivan on all sides, dwarfing it. Art figured the traffic would be heavier once they got closer to Boston. The route that Pete had devised had them driving within thirty miles of the city before veering off west into New York. Abraham’s phone estimated they wouldn’t reach Niagara Falls until 5:00 in the evening.

Their Johnny Cash CD had just restarted, and Abraham was shuffling through the other ones Pete had bought as Collie pulled up to the tollbooth. The toll only cost $3.00, and he handed the woman working in the booth a twenty with what looked like an apologetic smile. She gave him his change, the bar lifted, and they drove on.

“She probably thought I was a dick, paying with a twenty,” he mumbled to himself, sticking the change in his cup holder as he continued down I-95 South. Over the radio, Johnny Cash sang: “Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still. Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still. Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still. Listen to the words long written down, when the man comes around.” It was the song that had played when they first left the Target back in South Portland, the song that had made Abraham nervous. It made Art nervous, too. The upbeat guitar playing underneath it only served to remind him of his father, playing hymns on the back porch in Louisiana. The songs were always happy, but they said such horrible things.

He wondered if Abraham still thought the song was a bad sign. He wanted to ask him, but couldn’t bring himself to do it, in the car, in broad daylight. It seemed like the sort of thing where, if you admitted to it in the daylight, all the monsters and all the bad luck in the world would find you and strike you down. Better to say it in the dark, where you could hide. Art gulped- he guessed he was more superstitious than he thought.

Abraham ejected the CD, causing the music to cut out sharply. He put in the next CD, the American III: Solitary Man album. The first song on the album was I Won’t Back Down. A cover of a Tom Petty song. He noticed Collie was singing softly to himself. It made Art smile. He knew it was just the sort of song Collie would latch onto.

Ray had turned in his seat, and he and Pete had their heads together, putting their playlist together. Collie’s words in the Target that morning hadn’t deterred them.

“How much do y’all have so far?” Art asked, turning in his seat too to face them better.

“We’ve got like a hundred songs,” Ray answered. “All sorts of stuff.”

“Wow,” was Art’s only response.

“I think once we add a bit more we’ll be done,” Pete added. “We’re gonna be on the road for some ninety hours. Gotta be prepared.”

Art turned back around. Not for the first time, he wondered what exactly he had set into motion. Ninety hours on the road.

They crossed over a bridge, and beneath them the Piscataqua River lazed along. Some sailboats were gliding over the surface. Art wondered what it would be like, to lay on the deck on a sailboat, warming in the sun. Maybe his friends would be there too, casting their fishing lines over the side of the boat. Art decided that would be nice.

A sign posted on their right announced that they were entering New Hampshire.

“Look at that! We’re in New Hampshire!” he gasped out.

“New state!” Abe cheered, banging on the car dashboard.

“Maybe New Hampshire will be more to your liking, Parker,” Pete teased from the backseat.

Art was excited- it had been a long time since he’d crossed the Maine state line. They finished crossing the bridge, and the Maine Turnpike became the Blue Star Turnpike. The trip felt real in a way it hadn’t before. Art hadn’t left Maine since he was a kid, and now he was going to travel across the country. He looked around him, eagerly left and right, and took it all in.

After another twenty miles of driving, they came to another tollbooth. “Christ, again?” Collie exclaimed. “Fuck Maine, and fuck Maine’s roads.” They all laughed at his customary outburst.

“I think you mean New Hampshire?” Abe supplied.

“Yeah, fuck New Hampshire, too,” Collie grumbled.

“So… so far Parker hates 4% of states. Should we start placing bets on what that number’ll be by the end of the trip?” Pete asked.

Collie ignored him and gave the man at the tollbooth a few crumpled dollar bills. Then they were through.

“You really don’t know when to quit, do you?” Ray asked him fondly.

“Not at all,” Pete replied, and leaned back in his seat.

Art looked out the window.

///

They were in New Hampshire for only half an hour, and then they were crossing into Massachusetts. Another state to add to Art’s list. As they passed over the state line, Pete asked, in that fake earnest voice of his, “What do ya think of this one, Collie? Gonna add it to the list? Make it 6%?”

“You’re gonna get your stupid ass thrown out,” Art choked out between laughs.

“Art’s right, Pete. You’re getting yourself on my shit list,” Collie said.

“Who isn’t on your shit list?” Abraham asked.

“You know, Abe, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Hell, it’s fun to watch you get all red in the face.” Abraham grinned. Collie rolled his eyes but grinned too and kept on driving. They merged onto I-495 South, and then all the road signs began to point towards Boston.

“I was thinking we could stop and eat lunch around noon, and then switch drivers,” Pete said. His antagonistic streak seemed to be over, and he was back to examining the itinerary he’d put together for the trip.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Ray agreed.

“I like the sound of that,” Collie said.

“How you doin’ up there, Collie?” Art asked.

“Oh, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” he assured, rolling back his shoulders and stretching. “But I’ll be ready to switch two hours from now.”

///

They were mostly quiet after that, just singing along to the CD playing over the radio, until they were nearing Lawrence, Massachusetts. There was an exit leading onto I-93 South, which would take them into Boston.

“Collie, can we go to Boston?” Abraham asked, looking longingly out the window, as if he could see the city’s skyline from the highway, thirty miles away. “I’ve never been to Boston.”

“Who the fuck lives in Maine and hasn’t been to Boston?” Collie asked in disbelief. “I’m not even from here and I’ve fucking been to Boston.”

“Well, fuck you. I don’t have a car, dipshit,” Abe shot back.

“That’s a shitty excuse. Just take a Greyhound from Portland into Boston,” Collie replied. “You guys have been to Boston, right? Even you, Art?”

Ray and Pete nodded, but Art shook his head. “No, I’ve never been. Until this, I hadn’t even left Maine in like eight years.”

They all looked faintly surprised at this. “Jesus, what?” Collie asked incredulously. “I’ve failed the two of you as a friend,” he said to Art and Abraham. “Once we get back, I’m taking the two of you to Boston.”

Art liked the sound of that- exploring a new city with Abraham and Collie Parker. His world seemed so much bigger than it had this morning, so much bigger than his present in Maine and his past in Louisiana.

///

By the time noon rolled around, they were nearing Blandford, Massachusetts. Boston was over a hundred miles behind them. “Pull off here,” Abraham instructed, and Collie did, and they rolled into Blandford. The welcome sign said the population was 1,233.

“There’s a park around here that’s really pretty. We should eat there,” Ray said, looking intently at his phone screen. Collie asked for directions, and Ray gave them. After a few minutes of driving they pulled into the parking lot of Becket Quarry and Collie paid the parking attendant $10. They’d already spent nearly $20, and it had only been a few hours. That stack of twenties wasn’t stretching as far as Art thought it would.

They all got out of the van and crowded around the trunk, pulling sandwiches and water bottles out of the cooler Abraham had brought. Collie grabbed one of the packs of beef jerky out of a Target bag, and then they were locking up the van and heading down the trail.

It wasn’t a far walk to the quarry, and along the path and trees surrounded them, green and leafy and tall. They reached the end of the path, and came upon the quarry. It was beautiful- the surface of the water reflected the endless blue sky overhead, and large rock faces emerged from the water and towered over it, covered over with moss and bright green foliage. There were a few different groups sitting around the quarry, but it was mostly empty- plenty of room for them to spread out and eat their lunch.

Abraham climbed one of the smaller rock formations overlooking the water and set his water and sandwich down. “We should go swimming.”

The rest of the group looked eager, excited at the prospect, but Art hesitated. “How deep is it?” he asked.

“Well, it’s a quarry, so I think the most shallow spot will still be at least forty feet,” Ray answered.

“Forty feet,” Art repeated softly to himself. That was awfully deep. It would be easy to disappear in that water and never come up again. That old panic gripped him.

The rest of them were stripping down to their boxers to swim. Abraham dove in first, and then Pete jumped in, dragging Ray with him by his hands. Collie went next, doing a cannonball and splashing the three of them in the water.

Art wished he could follow, but he imagined jumping in and sinking down down down, away from the light. Instead he took off his shoes and socks and sat at the edge of the water, his legs under it up to his mid-calves. The water was cold, perfectly refreshing for a summer day.

A few feet away, Abraham was floating on his back, and Pete and Ray splashed at him, giggling to each other like conspirators. Collie was swimming laps around them, his tanned arms glinting in the sunlight. Show off, Art thought, and suppressed a secret smile.

It made Art happy to watch him, and it felt good to bask in the sun, to feel it on his arms and his legs. It was still early June, but the temperature must have climbed past eighty degrees. It had been humid in the forest, but by the water the air felt crisp and clean.

The sun flashed brilliantly off the surface of the water, casting his friends in a harsh glare. They looked like an old overexposed photograph, or a child’s crayon-colored dream come to life. This, he thought, is what summer is.

Collie noticed him sitting on the bank alone and swam over. “You coming in?” he asked. Art shook his head. “Can you not swim?”

“I can swim,” Art answered. “It’s just… it’s too deep.” He could only see a foot or two below the water’s surface. Below that, darkness straight down. He could see Collie’s arms as he tread water, but the rest of him was obscured by the quarry water. Pete, Ray, and Abraham were just floating heads, bobbing and laughing a dozen yards from shore.

“Oh.” Collie pushed his wet hair out of his face. “I get that.” He braced his hands on the rock and lifted himself up out of the water, sitting next to Art. Art’s shirt sleeve was wet from where Collie’s arm touched his.

“You don’t have to stop swimming on account of me,” he said softly.

“Oh, it’s not on account of you,” Collie answered. “We have to dry off and eat anyways. I don’t know about the rest of them, but I don’t want to drive around for another four hours in wet shorts.”

They sat in companionable silence for a minute, Collie kicking his legs and churning up water. The droplets seemed to catch fire in the afternoon sunlight. “What bothers you about the water?” Collie asked, looking over at him. The heat of Collie’s arm was still heavy against his arm, but neither of them moved away. Art’s face burned with the proximity.

“I can’t see the bottom. I can swim fine,” Art explained. “But I don’t like it when I can’t see the bottom.” He almost wanted to add that no one knew what was down there, lurking below the reach of the sun. But that was the stuff of nightmares, and he didn’t want to seem stupid.

“We’ll have to find you a swimming pool, then,” Collie replied.

Art fixed him with a look. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No, I’m not making fun of you. I’m trying to be nice. I don’t make fun of you, you know. At least not, like, seriously.” He had a faintly hurt look in his eyes, like this was something he really wanted to get across.

Art answered that look with a smile. “A swimming pool sounds nice, then.”

“Good,” Collie said simply. He got up and walked over to where his clothes were discarded, and started getting dressed. Art averted his eyes. He called out to the three in the water, “Come on and get out now! We gotta hit the road soon to keep on schedule!”

“Don’t be so lame!” Pete shouted back, in the middle of dunking Ray under the water. Ray pushed him away, laughing.

“Dumbass, it’s your schedule,” Collie answered, sitting back down and ripping open the pack of beef jerky. “Get over here and eat your sandwiches.” The three reluctantly swam over and pulled themselves out of water, instead eating their lunch and drying under the sun. Art left his perch on the edge of the rock and went to sit with them.

They ate their sandwiches and drank from their water bottles, warming themselves in the sun and keeping an eye on the time. When it hit 1:00 PM, Collie got up and said, “Time to go, guys. Pete, you’re driving.” He tossed the keys, and Pete caught them cleanly.

“Aye aye, captain.” Pete gave a mock salute and started getting dressed. “Ray can sit up front with me. We’ll debut our playlist.”

“Can’t wait,” Collie grumbled.

As they left, Art looked back at the quarry one more time, at the murky depths and the glare it cast on the rock formations surrounding it. Then, he turned around and followed his friends through the trees.