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calpalsworld · 3 years

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Got A LOT of asks about Wu and Garmadon and their shapeshifting in Ninjago Respun so heres a BIG answer instead

[spoilers for canon Ninjago lore, and minor spoilers for Respun lore since I’ll gradually explain this all in canon anyway. Only read this if you are DYING to know I guess?] [Whenever I say “we’ll talk about that later” that basically means I won’t talk about that further even if you ask, sorry D: Gotta wait for the comic to address that.] CONTEXT: The First Spinjitzu Master was SOOO strong. He was NOT supposed to exist, not just because of the eternal war between Oni and Dragon, but because sex between the two does NOT usually yield any Baby?! (Plus some other reasons ill talk about later). So like. Woaaah wtf? So.... that one baby? The First Spinjitzu Master? Yeah, he is a god! All the powers that dragons and oni have? He has them, and more.

SOME FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER DETAILS:

Dragons usually only have titles for names, so “First Spinjitzu Master” is literally his name.

He is immortal.

Oni are shapeshifters with no defined form. Dragons are shapeshifters too, but to a lesser extent (we’ll talk about that later). So the First Spinjitzu Master is a shapeshifter too. And so, humans are literally the fursona of the FSM.

He can create shit like its no big deal. He made the land, the plants, the animals, the people, the elements -- he made *almost* EVERYTHING in the realm of Ninjago (we’ll talk about that later).

Some aspects of Ninjago’s many cultures came from the First Spinjitzu Master -- from Oni and Dragon -- but other parts developed independently. In the Oni-Dragon language, “he” is a pronoun referring to Oni, and “she” is a pronoun referring to Dragons. There are other things too but that would take A LONG TIME to talk about... moving on...

HISTORY OF WU AND GARMADON’S SHAPESHIFTING AND ONI-DRAGON HERITAGE BIRTH | YEAR 0: So, the immortal Oni-Dragon named the First Spinjitzu Master, aka: God, decided to create people for his cool awesome realm. He wanted humans to be different from himself, but he also wanted a couple people who were just like him that could continue his legacy. He wanted people who could forever defend what he created. So he just mpregged himself and made two kids! Lying: He summoned them into existence, no pregnancy involved, sorry. Cries. The first he created was named Garmadon (named by himself), and the second he created was named Wu (named by his dad like a loser HAHA). Garmadon was born (created) in late winter, and Wu was born (created) in early summer. Wu and Garmadon are biologically identical to their father, half Oni, half Dragon, and immortal. But they are not as powerful as him. Beings equally strong as himself would be impossible for the FSM to create. His sons don’t have the same creation powers as him, but they have the same Oni and Dragon abilities. When Wu was born (created), Garmadon instantly chose to look almost identical to Wu. He previously had a different form that the First Spinjitzu Master designed for him, but fuck that (we call this becoming the realm of Ninjago’s first transgender person). At birth they looked and acted like they were around 3 years old. CHILDHOOD | YEARS 0-30: Wu and Garmadon’s physical forms are a conscious decision, but are also affected by their subconscious mental states. This caused them to age like MOSTLY like a normal child would... just a BIT slower. They also interacted mostly with people the same age as them, and chose to age like they did (we’ll talk more about this later). Garmadon got bit by the Great Devourer when he was 7. His eyes would look like he is really high sometimes (glow red) because of the curse, unrelated to shapeshifting. He also has a scar on his arm from the bite and the venom. It is usually very hard to scar an Oni/Dragon, but it was a powerful, long-term, magical wound. The bite caused him to become soooooooo angry and evil that he made up a Oni-persona because Onis look evil and cool. The two of them were always distracted by exploring the world, rather than questioning who they were. They just knew their father was from “outside the realm” and “half oni, half dragon.” They knew he and they could live forever, while others couldn’t, and knew they could shapeshift, while others couldn’t. But they never questioned him further, like.... they didn’t really care lol. Around 30 they looked/acted like they were around 15 years old (around 30 is when they met Aspheera btw). TEENAGE YEARS/YOUNG ADULTHOOD | YEARS 30-70: More adventuring and not caring about who they are. On one adventure, Wu got “crucified” by a village of people, Breaking-Wheel-Style on a Dharmachakra, while Garmadon watched and laughed. Eventually Wu and Garmadon met this woman on their adventures. [[Ninjago spoilers, cough cough --mystaké, --cough cough]]. She cryptically explained a few things: Dragon and Oni were at war in the past, Dragons create, Oni destroy, and currently the two species are dispersed across the realms. Wu and Garmadon’s father got mad at this lady for spilling all these beans, so she shut up about the dragon and oni shit, but still guided them in other ways for many many many many many many many many years to come. Around age 60, Wu and Garmadon looked about 30 years old. Their father passed on when they were 60, and the brothers began to diverge in the way they physically looked. Prior to this, they were near identical and relatively normal looking. My dearest apologies to those of you who love sexy 30 year old sensei Wu, buuuttttttttt, over the next decade, Wu became eldercore and wisdompilled as fuck. Meanwhile, Garmadon became a ripped 7′0 hottie (smh), who SLOWLY got older over centuries, paralleling Misako’s age. We’ll talk about Misako later. CENTURIES GO BY | YEARS 70-450: Btw, despite being really hard to scar, Wu got scars on his arms from another “crucifixion” at some point. (we’ll talk more about this later). .......More stuff happens.... not related to onis or dragons shapeshifting...... At age 450: -- oh crap GARMADON YOURE EVIL AF *banishes him*. We’ll obviously talk a LOT more about the banishment event later, ofc. Garmadon gets #pissed and so #fuck #anger #kill that he turns into his four-armed oni-persona. Wu and Garmadon know dragons. Wu hid the four golden weapons so Garmadon could never get them, and had dragons guard them. He is actually pretty tight with these dragons. They’re his friends. They were friends with Garmadon too. In the “Pilot”, “Weapons of Destiny”, Wu could’ve stopped these dragons from fighting the Ninja, but he wanted to test his students lmao. As for Oni, Wu and Garmadon (believe they) have never met a full-Oni. UP TO THE CURRENT DAY | YEAR 610. Most of Ninjago’s people know nothing about Oni and Dragons. Oni and Dragons are just mythological, often dismissed as fake. They don’t know Wu, Garmadon, and the First Spinjitzu Master are related to Oni and Dragon at all. Their origin doesn’t need explanation to most citizens. People just think, “Oh, The FSM, Master Wu, and Lord Garmadon? You mean God, Jesus, and Evil Jesus?” (Of course, the “Jesus” part is COMPLETELY non-diegetic, and they don’t actually call them that. They don’t know wtf Jesus is). I could go off about religion in Ninjago, but don’t get me started lol XD So, in conclusion, we got two immortal half-dragon-half-oni idiots that are worshipped by the average citizen. Wu is purposefully eldercore, and Garmadon is purposefully a ripped 7′0 oni-persona hottie. Post that explains rules of oni-dragon shapeshifting. That’s the lore at the moment. Any thoughts? Criticisms? Any other questions?

#sorry for inconsistent capitalization #deleting all asks on this topic now #this is p much everything i am ok with revealing about wu and garm ooc #but if anything is confusing feel free to ask and i might clarify

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angelthebedsheet · 4 years

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my fav boys with slick black s/o pt 1?

a/n: im losing inspiration for my current requests and i’m not feeling good mentally or physically. my mood has been down the whole week and it’s messing with my school work so that’s also putting me in a sad mood. but im also in the mood for some fightin words so i’ll use my comfort boys. this may be corny but hey it works for me and this is my blog ❤️

lets get it

—————————————————————————-

Bakugo Katsuki

bro you MATCH his ENERGY so well with your clapbacks

tbh... bakugo’s clapbacks are just trash

he got the aggression but cmon now

tf is “shitty extra”

boy if you dont sit ya ass down

he LOVES your clapbacks tho

them shits be making him lose his mind

any slick shit you say he eats that UP

one time monoma was talking too much shit and you just

“nigga if you dont sit yo ass tf down fore i snatch yo forehead tf off”

safe to say bakugo busted out laughing

you were ready to post up

he lives for when you be roasting ppl under ya breath

what he doesnt like is when you roast him

bc you can and will read a bitch no hesitation

he really thought he was special....

aint shit sweet come get these roasts nigga

“boy if you dont take them damn pants off. shits look like hammer pants. cant touch this headass”

yall know how i have desiree roasting him?

that’s exactly how it be

you got a sharp ass tongue and will use it against anyone

let someone get both of yall pissed off together???

straight up verbal abuse at that point

file a complaint bc you and bakugo def made someone cry before

i think the class lwk hates you bc you helped bakugo’s clapbacks get better

which is bad for them

yall rmb those roasting vids where they go mmm after each one?

thats bakugo in the back

“big body headass”

“mm”

“dumpster truck headass”

“mm”

typa shit

he’ll hype it up too much

Todoroki Shouto

you think this man dont talk shit himself????

bro he can and will read a bitch RIGHT TO THEIR FACE TOO

he want all the SMOKE

yall together??? im sorry to whoever pissed yall off lemme plan they funeral

i imagine the way todoroki reads niggas is real sophisticated like he will point out every single insecurity you HAVE without even knowing you that well

no cursing for majority of them

“what shoes you got on?”

KAJDJSKKDKCKDDJ

yall would read bitches together but like this

“shou it’s the lifting acrylics for me”

“it’s the dusty wig for me, love”

“its the disconnecting wig for me”

“its the cakey makeup for me”

painful for them

i think he can do rapid fire roasts as soon as someone tries to start shit with you

“i know you’re not coming for my s/o. it’s the talking shoes, it’s the bootleg supreme shirt, it’s the fake chain, it’s the brittle hair”

he gets real disrespectful and wont care who it is

unless it’s your friends or family then he’ll dial it back a lil bit

if you start roasting endeavor????

my mans might be on his way to the jewelers

“try this ring on. i wanna see if it can fit you”

he finna spouse you up (spouse IS gender neutral innit?)

unrelated but todoroki is a hottie and will “ah 😜 mwah 💋” everytime and you might have a video of him losing his mind girls in the hood LMAOOOOO

Killua Zoldyck

now this boy.... cant roast for SHIT

yeah he’s a lil brat and can get mean and petty

but he cannot compare to you

this nigga’s a whole trained assassin but cant kill niggas with his words that well

🤡🤡🤡

i think the meanest thing he’s said is call you “a stupid fuckin idiot”

to which you responded with

“shut the fuck up, mushroom built ass bitch. body built like a smurf. hair lookin like hairballs cats cough up. dont get loud lil boy”

killua respectfully sat down and scratched his head

no cap that shit lwk hurt but he gonna pretend like it didnt

he dont even know what the fuck a SMURF IS

he just know that it hurt

lwk thought that was your nen

the ability to manipulate emotions into irritation or anger or some shit

like no baby they just good at roasting bitches

after a while he starts to hype you up in the back

“how you FEELLLLL”

“OOOOH BURNNNN”

“SHIT GOTTA HURT DONT IT BITCHBABY?”

eventually he learns how to roast and clapback then it’s over

the sass meter is overboard

like you might have to knock him a couple notches down

swear to god this boy uses clapbacks on leorio just to piss him off

one time leorio was telling killua to do sumn he just

“oh you must want me with the way you keep gobbling on my fuckin nuts i will do it soon relax”

you damn near BEHEADED this boy with how hard you slapped the back of his head

like it was funny but leorio wouldve JUMPED YOU

Kamado Tanjiro

OUT OF ALL OF THEM HE DOESNT WANT THAT

listen he likes to be the peacemaker

but with your clapbacks they’re enough to make zenitsu wanna post up

like you read him a lil too much

“THATS HOW YOU FEEL Y/N-CHAN? ALRIGHT”

cue tanjiro rapidly apologizing while dragging you away

the first time you roasted the absolute shit outta inosuke he had to sit down

he didnt even know what the majority of the shit you said meant

same with killua all he knew was that shit kinda hurt

tanjiro be TIRED of yall

“y/n can you PLEASE relax”

“NAH HE WANNA GET LOUD WITH ME”

“HE BREATHED”

“AND IT WAS AN AGGRESSIVE BREATH”

of course you know your limits

there’s no way you’re gonna get tanjiro to roast people

but this one time you heard him clapback by accident

“you heard me loud and clear, sir. dont act like you couldnt hear me correctly.”

like oop?

i felt a lil HEAT

aint no where near burned but for tanjiro??? good e fucking nough

dont act like he dont say some lil slick shit on the dl

this man got pent up aggression fym

tho you do be making him laugh

esp in battle if you just start reading a demon

he cant help but snicker

baby loves the way you talk and wouldnt have it any other way

if you roast him he will just go

“oh okay 🙂”

he doesnt know how to respond to that

if you roasting someone who deserves it nezuko will be your hype girl bc tanjiro’s busy trying to de-escalate the situation 💀💀💀

“and thats why yo grandma got a busted funeral”

“MMPH!”

“Y/N NO STOP THATS SO RUDE IM SO SORRY FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR THEY DONT MEAN IT”

“YES TF I DO”

“y/n shut up NO THEY DONT SORRY”

before dragging you away

jfc you’re like verbally feral

Nishinoya Yuu

your personal hypeman

will respectfully allow you to roast people

cant roast to save his life either

“you tell em!”

“yuh!”

“mhm”

“bitch”

hopping around n shit LMAOAOAOAOAO

you got that shit

someone irritating him?

“y/n.... baby.”

“alright who is it?”

“tsukishima”

“aight bet. AYE BITCH”

legend has it tsukishima is still recovering from those third degree burns

do not roast him this man will run away he values his life

“oh you must be ready to attend this barbecue”

(love that guy)

“IM VEGAN” liar

and DIPS

nigga will 100% ROLLINGGGGGG THUNDAAAAAAA tf up outta there

he can clapback and that’s the most he’ll do

he do be saying slick shit bc i hc him as someone who want all the smoke

ride or DIE

on they ass

(struggling to come up with clapbacks w/o anything to clapback to 💀💀💀)

(been cryinf over rengoku and hw my brain is mush)

“GO OFF Y/N TALK YOUR SHIT YOUR MAJESTY”

NIGGAS A CLOWN ✋🏽😭

thats all for this one folks lmao

#x black reader #bnha x black!reader #bnha x poc!reader #mha x black reader #haikyuu x black reader #haikyuu x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #hxh x reader #tanjiro x reader #killua x reader #bakugo katuski x reader #todoroki x reader #nishinoya x reader #perryat bitch #teehee

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threeletterslife · 4 years

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Change of Plans

→ summary: So how did you and Seokjin meet? Now that the two of you are engaged, you’re ready to tell your friends the night you were supposed to get laid but didn’t. And it’s all your fiancé’s fault.

→ pairing/rating: seokjin x reader | PG-13

→ genre: 80% crack, 20% fluff | college!au & est. relationship!au

→ warnings: profanity, mentions of hooking up, crude humor, tinder lmao

→ wordcount: 2.5k

→ a/n: guys when i was editing this i laughed at my own fucking jokes ohmygod 🤡🤡

cr.

"So," Jungkook snorts, swinging his arm around Seokjin's shoulder as he looks at the happy couple curiously. "You're getting married."

"Hell, yes!" you say, pumping your fist. "Look at my ring."

Everyone around you groans.

"Y/N, we looked at your ring so many times, I think if someone told me to resculpt it blindfolded, I could," Yoongi sighs. He half annoyedly half defeatedly grabs a can of beer and downs it.

"Shut up, Yoongi," Daehyung says. "Y/N, your ring is beautiful," she gushes. "Yoongi's just jealous because he's single."

"It's beautiful because I helped Seokjin pick it out," Yoongi argues. "Even though I'm single, I have excellent taste."

"You also have a cocky attitude," you giggle, admiring how the sparkling ring fits perfectly around your ring finger. "But thank you. I appreciate the advice you gave my fiancé."

"Can you believe a year ago, I didn't even know your name?" Seokjin laughs, nudging you. Giving him an ungrateful glare, you push him back.

"Wait, really?" Jungkook says, eyes wide. "I thought you guys were college besties."

"No, they met on a hookup app," Daehyung giggles.

"Seriously??" Yoongi says.

"It wasn't exactly a hookup app," you pout. "We didn't even hookup."

"It was too a hookup app," Daehyung says. "Tinder, to be exact."

Everyone except you and Seokjin gasps dramatically.

"Come to think of it," Yoongi says, "you two never told us how you met."

"Yeah, and if we tell you, you're going to embarrass the shit out of me and my future wife when you give the best man speech at the wedding," Seokjin frowns. "I'm not setting myself up for humiliation."

"I promise I'll keep it a secret!"

"Hey, I thought I was the best man!" Jungkook yells.

"You can be the flower girl," you snort.

"What?!" the young bachelor shrieks.

"Can everybody shut the fuck up so I can hear this story again?" Daehyung yells at the top of her lungs.

"Again??" Seokjin says curiously. "When did you hear it the first time?"

"Oh, Y/N was drunk," Daehyung giggles. "When she's drunk, she spills straight up tea."

"Oops," you say when your fiancé gives you a dirty look. "Why do we have to keep it a secret, anyway?"

"Because it's embarrassing."

"Yeah, embarrassing for you. I sound like a hero."

"Y/N saves the day?" Yoongi grins. "And Seokjin wrecks something? What's new?"

"I'm this close to making you the flower girl," the engaged man threatens.

Yoongi shuts up.

"Oh, come on, babe, let's tell them the story," you plead. "It's so funny!"

"Yeah, for you."

"Learn to laugh at yourself, Seokjin," Daehyung chastises. "Plus it wasn't even that humiliating."

"God!" Jin shrieks. "Yes it was humiliating!"

"Shut up, you big baby," you say, patting the head of your soon-to-be-husband. "I'll take the floor now."

"Oh, god," Jin groans.

You grin in response. "Okay, it all started senior year of college... Monday... November 14th, 8:02 p.m..."

"It did not start then," Seokjin argues.

"Stop being so petty," Jungkook snorts.

"Wait, no Jin's right. It didn't start then," you giggle apologetically. Seokjin facepalms. "It started a week and a few days before November 14th."

"Does the date really matter?" Yoongi groans.

"Yes," you, Seokjin, Jungkook and Daehyung chorus.

Yoongi shuts up—for the second time that day.

"Okay, where was I?" you mumble. "Oh, right! It all started..."

Tinder is an annoying bitch.

It keeps pairing you up with dudes you know in your class. You are not going to have a one night stand with a guy and be stuck in a group project with him the next day. You're going to avoid that awkward possibility for as much as you can.

You've used the "dating" app off and on in your college years, but it's never amounted to anything more than craptastic hookups and hectic morning afters. So you deleted it.

Until early November when you had to third wheel Daehyung and her boyfriend to a local fair. You were so bored and desperate that you re-downloaded Tinder and started swiping. There are way too many hot guys on one app. It makes you start to wonder where all the hot guys in your school are.

There are a few guys who match with you, but it's clear that they are massive dodo brains when they start off the conversation with a one-worded 'hi' or 'send nudes plz' or the worst: 'your beautiful.' With the wrong 'your' and all. You don't even answer them.

But one guy's messages catch your eyes.

[SEOKJIN]: Roses are red

[SEOKJIN]: Let's test my luck

[SEOKJIN]: We should get in bed

[SEOKJIN]: So we can—

The unfinished poem leaves you almost choking on your own spit. If that wasn't creative, you don't know what is. After background checking his profile, you realize he's one of those hotties. You wonder what on earth he's doing texting you, but you're not going to miss this amazing chance.

[Y/N]: Fuck?

Seokjin replies about three seconds later.

[SEOKJIN]: Oh no that's so vulgar

[SEOKJIN]: I was going to say cuddle :((

You giggle. Sort of a low-grade joke, but what can you say? You're a complete sucker for those.

It's hard to find men these days who are perfect texters. Most men are dry, sending in one-word answers and letting emojis talk for them. Other men write way too much. Seokjin is right in the middle. Already, he has your attention. (Especially because you like his humor.)

The two of you text back and forth until you're back home in your bed. You would've texted him more but it was 3:04 a.m. and you had class the next day.

Butterflies erupt in your stomach when Seokjin, a complete stranger, mind you, tells you, 'goodnight. sweet dreams.'

What follows is a week's worth of texting. You've been swiping and texting other guys on the side, but if Seokjin's available, you ditch everyone else.

You learn that Jin's a history major and he despises STEM with all of his guts. You let him go on a ten-minute rant on why math should die all because it's adorable how he has so much supporting evidence for his argument. Seokjin had to backtrack and apologize when he learned that you majored in physics, though, which was hilarious. You could feel him blushing via text.

The more you text Seokjin, the more you want to meet him in person. Also, his Tinder bio promises mind-blowing sex, so you're down for that too.

On a fateful day, you finally somehow schedule a meeting with the hot man. Monday, November 14th at 8 p.m. You're to meet at Seokjin's little apartment (which seemed to be in a safe neighborhood). You have fun picking your lingerie with Daehyung. (You kept saying Seokjin would be the type to like pink and lace, but Daehyung argued that he'd like scarlet red and leather. But you kicked her out of your room and chose the pink lace lingerie set anyway.)

It was an understatement to say you were excited about this. You were elated, insanely thrilled. Not only did you find a hookup partner, but also you found a man you could potentially see yourself dating.

Daehyung keeps telling you not to get your hopes too high because in her words, "You've never even met the goddamn dude." But you know a gem when you see one. Unlike Daehyung. She's been off and on with about four different guys since the beginning of college. What does she know about love??

In the end, you want to be more than hookup material to Seokjin. But of course, that would be after you get laid tonight. The flirty wink faces and jokes were indicative that tonight would be a very, very enjoyable night. You just have to get to his apartment on time.

At precisely 8:02 p.m., you knock on his door. Okay, you were going to knock on his door when you originally got there (at 7:56 p.m.), but after consulting Daehyung, she said that it's better to make men wait. For once, her advice kind of makes sense. So you wait six minutes and then knock on his door.

"Oh shit!" you hear from the apartment.

You raise your eyebrows. He was expecting you, right?

"Just a second!!"

His voice is much smoother and more delicate than you thought.

You're dreaming about finally seeing his beautiful face in person when the door opens. Damn. He's really, really hot. You feel on fire just looking at him. But you quickly see that the man is panting. He's also sweating.

"O-Oh, is this a bad time?"

"Fuck," Seokjin curses. He runs his finger through his silky black hair. "Uh..." He trails off, eyes darting below to see just a sliver of your pink lace lingerie set peeking out from under your black coat. He gulps. You can see his Adam's apple bob. He exudes this warm, chaotic energy you wouldn't have expected from someone who looks so well-put-together as him. But you kind of find that hot.

"Okay, change of plans," Seokjin finally gasps out. He tugs you in his apartment and holds out a good stack of papers. "College happened."

You laugh. "What??"

"Okay, remember when I told you I fucking hate math?"

"Yes??" The ten-minute rant—how could you forget something so iconic?

"Well, I made a huge mistake of taking accounting this year and now I'm behind on five assignments that are all due tomorrow—"

"Oh god."

"Don't worry. I'm going to get it all done. So we can uh..." Seokjin glances at your scandalous outfit behind the confines of your coat. "Finish the rest of my poem."

"In that case..." You roll up your long sleeves. "Do you have a t-shirt I can borrow?"

"Y-Yeah," Seokjin says. He dashes away and after a split second, he comes back with a navy, oversized t-shirt. "Here."

"Thank you!" you chirp. "Now," you say, tying your hair up in a messy bun and gesturing toward the heap of paper Seokjin is holding, "I took accounting two years ago, but I'm sure I remember all the essential stuff. Wanna get to work?"

Seokjin looks at you like you're an angel.

"Shut up!" Jungkook laughs so hard he almost falls over. "You're telling me that you were going to get laid, but you got cockblocked by Seokjin's procrastination??"

"Yes! I know!" you snort. "But it's a good thing I can actually do math. Unlike Mr. I-hate-math-so-much-I-barely-do-my-homework, here."

"In my defense..." Seokjin trails off. "I don't have an excuse, actually."

Yoongi rolls his eyes. "Did you finish the assignments, though?"

"Why are you guys asking the irrelevant questions?" Daehyung sighs. "Shouldn't you guys ask if Y/N got laid like she was supposed to??"

Seokjin grumbles. "We finished the assignments in three hours."

"We??" you say incredulously.

"Okay, fine. Y/N did more than half of it because I had no idea what was going on."

"And I did get laid!" You pump a victorious fist in the air. "But it was really late and I fell asleep before we even got to the good part."

"So she got properly laid in the morning," Seokjin snickers. "And it was so good she left after having breakfast."

"I think I fell for him because he can cook so well," you laugh. "And he felt extra bad about the night before so he made a three-course breakfast meal."

"Oh my god, men who finesse in the kitchen," Daehyung gushes. "Why haven't I caught a case like that yet?"

"Your personality is your birth control, bro," Jungkook snorts. "I thought you knew."

"I will shove a pregnancy test up your fucking ass," Daehyung threatens.

"How do you know I won't like how that feels?"

"SHUT UP!" Yoongi screams. "DON'T PAINT THAT PICTURE IN MY HEAD."

You and Seokjin give each other another look. Ever since you introduced Daehyung to Seokjin's two best friends, it's been... uh, chaotic. At this point, you're not sure if your friends argue out of pure love or pure hatred.

But the fact that Jungkook uses the same flirting tactics of a pre-teen boy explains a lot about his relationship with Daehyung.

"At this rate, do you even want these people at the wedding?" Seokjin whispers jokingly.

"I heard that!" Daehyung shrieks. "I will be at the wedding whether you want it or not!"

"Don't worry," you laugh. "You're going to be my maid of honor!"

"Whew," Daehyung sighs. "Since I'm your maid of honor can I uninvite Jeon Jungkook for being an asshole?"

"Hey!"

"No, we're putting you two in the same table at the afterparty dinner," Seokjin grins. "And Yoongi, you'll be there to witness the madness."

"Lovely," the sarcastic man gripes.

"Exactly!" you say.

But it is lovely indeed.

You never thought your ability to zoom past accounting assignments would ever come to use. Until Seokjin opened up a whole new door for you. Sure, you wanted a plain ol' hookup, but instead of getting dick, you got yourself a boyfriend. And now a fiancé.

If you think about it, now you have an endless supply of dick—all from the same, magnificent man. So it all worked out in the end.

Before all of your friends leave after the friendly gathering, you tug Yoongi to the side and pay him a hundred bucks to retell the hilarious story in his best man speech. Once money is involved, Yoongi will do anything.

Sure enough, on the faithful day of the wedding, and quite to Seokjin's horror, Yoongi tells the story of how you and Seokjin had first met—leaving out explicit details to save the ears of the older guests. But the story leaves everyone in tears of laughter.

Seokjin is so enamored by the attention that he doesn't even get angry at Yoongi.

"I'm glad I took that stupid accounting class!" he announces at the afterparty. "If it hadn't been for Professor Le Chory and his endless assignments, I would've never met my wife!"

And when the party's over and the two of you go off to your shared apartment to rest before going on your honeymoon trip to Yeousu, Seokjin clears his throat.

"Yes??" you say, giggling as Seokjin shyly fidgets with his hands. "Did you break something again?"

"No!" he says. "I just thought of another poem."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Wanna hear it?"

"Sure. But if this keeps up, you'll become a poet, Jin."

"I know," your husband grins. He takes a deep breath and recites the poem from memory, closing his eyes as he concentrates on each word.

Roses are red,

You are now my wife,

We should sleep in bed,

So tomorrow, and until forever, I'll show you the time of your life.

With Seokjin, life is spontaneous. But you don't really mind. Living in the moment and changing your plans as they go isn't too bad.

Especially when you wake up the next morning and Seokjin announces instead of Yeousu, the two of you will embark on a journey to Jeju instead.

Perfect. You've always wanted to visit Jeju Island.

masterlist

#ficswithluv #btswritersnet #btswriterscollective #bangtanfairygarden #btswritingcafe #seokjin #jin #kim seokjin #jin imagine #jin fanfic #jin fanfiction #bts #bts fanfiction #this fic is short #but i couldn't waste the idea #everybody needs a spontaneous seokjin in their lives #if seokjin asked me to do his math hw i would do it GLADLY #change of plans

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angelicmichael · 4 years

Text

Is This Love?

Xavier Plympton x serial killer! reader

Summary: Reader is looking for her next victim but stumbles across Xavier, which changes everything.

Warnings: Smoking weed, not a lot of violence but it definetly talks about death and killing A LOT like not really in detail but just be careful when reading, no smut but a extremly steamy makeout scene happens, and sex is also mentioned I think once but it’s kept pretty vague.

Words: 5.5k+

A/N: First of all, sorry this is so fucking long lmao also I’m sorry this took me so long to write!! This fic was heavily inspired by the songs ‘Is this love’? By whitesnake and the music video ‘Your Body’ by Christina Aguilera. I love true crime so trying to write from a serial killers perspective was actually pretty hard but fun!! This fic was originally ALOT darker but I basically turned it to be really fluffy instead and I added some humor so enjoy :) please let me know if you wanna be on my tag list!!! This fic is also about to be posted on my AO3 if y’all are interested. Okay bye ♥️

Next Chapter

You had a itch but it wasn’t the kind that could be relieved by scratching. It more of a urge, a need, something you had to do..

You needed to kill.

And it had to be soon. This urge, this feeling wasn’t anything new to you. Ever since your last kill which was about a month ago, you could feel the urge building up stronger and stronger until now.. and you couldn’t suppress this urge any longer without literally losing your mind.

However you couldn’t just kill anyone. You needed the perfect victim, someone who was beautiful. Someone who had facial features that looked like they hand carved by god himself. Your victim also couldn’t be a random lowlife nobody. That would never do. That was the thrill of it for you, it had to be a risk - someone who would be missed if they were gone. You knew it was risky but you didn’t care - easy victims were boring. Simple as that.

However, today you had signed yourself up for a jazzercise class to of course work on your figure but more importantly to find your next victim. It’s not like you were gonna find your next target at a grocery store, and you didn’t want to make the mistake of killing a celebrity. Celebrities seemed to infest California like god damn cockroaches, and you knew if you killed one there would be a man hunt for you. That would also be a easy way to get on the FBIs most wanted list.. no thank you.

So that’s why you were here you were for another jazzercise class.

They were perfect for victim hunting, you had spotted many of your precious victims through jazzercise classes. You knew you were a couple minutes late for today’s class but you wouldn’t let that stop you - if anything it was good because it would draw attention to yourself and let your potential victims notice you first.

You quickly paced into the building and it was easy to tell the class had already started. You could hear the music blaring from outside, that grew increasingly louder as you approached the room. You wore your hair down - dancing with your hair down made it about 100x easier to seduce just about anyone you set your eyes on. You also sported a extra tight outfit that showed off all the right parts of your body.. You were going to find your dream victim today. You just knew it.

You carelessly threw your bag you carried with you outside of the dance room before entering, you were already pretty fucking late. You really didn’t have any time to spare to drop it off at the locker room, and plus, you were always here taking various dance classes here so it’s not like the workers didn’t know you. You ripped open the door that lead into the room where your class would be held and quickly threw yourself into the room.

“Sorry”!

You half whispered as you nearly ran past the instructor and found a empty spot in the room. When you turned around you noticed the instructor gave you a quick wink and you couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was. He had frizzy blond hair, eyes so blue you could nearly drown in them and a beyond perfect body. He looked like a fucking ken doll. You knew it right then, he had to be yours. He was perfect.. too perfect.

You could barely contain yourself from grinning or jumping with joy at being able to locate your next victim so easily but you instead channeled your energy into your dance moves. Even if you couldn’t talk to him quite yet, you might as well impress him with your moves.. right?

It must’ve been working because throughout the entire class Xavier kept his eyes mostly on you, in fact it was a wonder if he looked anywhere else in the room.

Even though you were covered in sweat by the time the class was over, and in a desperate need of a shower, you still made sure you were the last one in the room.. And finding ways to stall and not look suspicious was embarrassingly difficult.

You left your bag outside of the room so the only thing you could do was drink your water painfully slow and look busy..

You were so preoccupied with trying to keep the illusion up of looking busy that you didn’t even notice that everyone else besides you had filed out of the room. You also didn’t notice that your hottie instructor was approaching you until you felt a light hand on your shoulder..

You jumped about a foot in the air - effectively spilling all of the water from your water bottle onto you. You let out a sharp screech as well.. and immeaditly felt the embarrassment start to course through your body as if someone injected you with some kind of ‘instant embarrassment iv’ or some shit. You felt the blood start to rush to your cheeks as you could only think of how stupid you probably looked.. your body was starting to sweat again as well, you didn’t even know you had anymore sweat left in you after that class.

‘So much for catching the perfect victim’.

You thought cynically. You could feel the frustration starting to manifest inside you as well, frustration from the lack of killing and the fact that you were now soaking wet. And cold, very fucking cold.

You kind of just stood there as you threw your (plastic) water bottle onto the ground and glared at the man who was in front of you.

“I am so sorry, are you okay”?

He asked. The ruthless and stoic expression you wore seemed to melt away quickly after you heard his words and even looked at his face. His words and concern seemed so genuine, you couldn’t help but feel bad for even glaring at the poor guy about two seconds ago. Even just by looking at him, you could tell he actually felt bad for what had happened. However, no sweet he looked, the frustration and the lust that you still felt to claim another life still lingered within you.

You also couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was up close. Typically people who looked beautiful from far away showed some flaws when they were looked at up close but you swear this man had absolutely no flaws. His skin was perfect, his hair, his eyes - and his lips looked so deliciously soft. How was this man even real?

You blinked a couple times and licked your lips as you realized that he was still waiting for a reply from you. Duh.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I could use a towel though”.

You giggled as you looked back down at your wet clothes and your wet self with shame.

“Oh yeah, of course! Towels are back here”.

He led you out of the dance studio and across the building, it wasn’t too far of a walk. On the walk over to get towels you two ran into a couple of people he knew, you assumed his close friends or maybe coworkers? It was hard to tell at a first glance. You didn’t stop to talk but just wave.. and you assumed they were his close friends by how they were all looking at you. They all seemed to look you up and down and one even gave you a wink. You assumed that this guy didn’t talk to many women.. and maybe this was why his friends seemed so excited to see you with him? Oh fuck, could he be gay?

Oh fuck.

You knew this whole thing was too good to be true. You would still be able to kill him if he was gay of course, being gay did not give someone a out of jail free card when it came to being murdered but seduction would be out of the equation for sure - and the whole act of seducing your victims before death was your favorite part.

Typically what you did to your victims was lead them on and make them think you were going to have sex with them - and then right before either of you would take your clothes off you would slit their throat with the knife you kept on you. That same knife was even in your bag right now but if this guy was really gay, your previous plan to end this guy would be a no go. You would have to get creative with this one.. or just give up entirely.

You were brought back into reality when you realized he was trying to lead you into a locker room, a men’s locker room to be specific. He stood in the doorway, gesturing for you to come inside but you hesitated. You bit your lip and contamplaited.. a quick look over your shoulder showed you that his friend group was nowhere in sight and either was anyone else really. No one would see you.

You grinned as you quickly turned your attention back to the man in front of you and followed him inside the locker room. You quickly observed that the locker room was completely vacant execpt for you two, thank god.

“So do I get to know your name”?

You said, still keeping a sweet smile on your face.

“Only if I get to know yours”.

He said, also sporting a small smile as he tossed you a cream colored towel that you catched.

“(y/n)”.

You replied.

“Xavier”.

“Makes sense that someone as pretty as you would have a pretty name to match”.

You said with a smirk, and you noticed how Xavier softly laughed and how his cheeks dusted a light pink color. He almost looked like he was embarrassed, it was fucking adorable really. You did a quick double take around the room to make sure you two were truly alone before you made your next move.

“There’s no cameras in here right”?

You asked, your fingers delicately holding the hem of your shirt. Xavier took a couple steps toward you, getting closer.

“No. There’s not babe”.

He said, he seemed to be studying you now - waiting for your next move. Maybe you were just imagining it but you swear you could just see a glint of lust in his eyes. You figured the fastest way to see if he was really gay or not would be to take your shirt off - his reaction would quickly tell you.

You took your other hand and hooked your fingers under your wet shirt and quickly pulled it off in one quick swipe, leaving you exposed in your bra. You dropped your shirt behind you on the floor, the wet noise it made as it hit the floor seemed to echo throughout the bare locker room. You gently put the towel Xavier gave you on the bench that was right next to you, judging by where things were going - you wouldn’t need the towel anymore.

“If I knew you were gonna take me here I wouldn’t have asked you for a towel, you know”.

You said, nearly whispering because he was so close now. You took a step closer to him, your faces only a couple inches a part now. You left your lips parted and you looked into his eyes.. and that was a fucking mistake. All of the common sense you were holding onto left and all thoughts you previously had seemed to thin out and dissolve into nothing.

You could taste his breath now he was so close. All it took was for him to put his hands on your waist and you gave in. You closed the distance that kept you two apart and you kissed him. Hard.

This was breaking one of your major rules that you kept for yourself as a serial killer. You tried to always make your victim make the first move - to kiss you first. This seemed to keep them on their toes and wanting more, and it kept you in control. However, being here with Xavier, all senseable thoughts you once had were long fucking gone. Right now, you didn’t care about anything else execpt for kissing him. Everything else seemed irrelevant, you just wanted to live in this moment forever.

The kiss started off sweet but it continued to grow more heated as you kissed him harder and harder. Your hands wasted no time in finding his shoulders as your nails started to dig into his skin. You impatiently bit his lower lip - wanting more.

You felt Xavier softly break away from you, but he didn’t move away too far from you, his face moved over to whisper in your ear,

“Jump”.

You instantly jumped and you felt him catch your legs, essentially holding you up as he continued to keep kissing you. You felt him take a couple steps and in this moment you didn’t care where he was even going too - you just.. felt different. Maybe it was a new emotion, but you felt peaceful for once in your life. And it felt way too fucking good to let go of. Not to mention you were beyond happy he wasn’t gay like how you suspected.. but it wasn’t your fault that you knew zero straight guys that instructeted jazzercise classes or wore short shorts and actually looked good doing it.

However.. You also felt something else and that was unprepared. It was clear to see where this makeout sesh was really headed too and your knife which was in your bag, was no where near you. In fact you had no fucking clue where it was which meant you couldn’t kill him now, you would have to ask him out.

You felt Xavier gently put you down on the ground, you could feel the rough surface of lockers poking up against your back. You were on the verge of mentioning how uncomfterable you were when you heard a deafening loud creak echo throughout the locker room. Someone was opening the fucking locker room door. Fuck!

You felt a jolt of anxiety run through you like electricity as you two instantly seperated, and tried to look as innocent as possible. You wiped your mouth and you and Xavier both stood up before you actually bothered to look who came into the locker room in the first place.

“Hey love birds”!

You heard a chirp, female

Voice. You couldn’t help but laugh- was it common for girls to just waltz in the men’s locker room? When she walked forward and came into view, You easily recognized her as one of the people from Xaviers friend group that was waving at you two ealier... In fact, she was the one who winked at you ealier as well.

“Nice to see you too ‘Tana”.

Xavier grumbled back, after he swiftly rolled his eyes. You assumed ‘Tana was short for Montana and she certainly looked like a interesting character.. espically if she frequently went into men’s restrooms. Her hair was a white bleached blonde - so bleached that her hair looked entirely stripped and dryer than the god damn Sahara desert. She had heavy blue eyeshadow on her eyelids and you couldn’t help but admire that she atleast tried to put a effort in her appearance.

Montana stood right next to Xavier and it was obvious to tell by the looks they exchanged that she wanted to talk to him - alone. She awkwardly shifted glances between you and Xavier and you bit your tongue, the realization hitting you like a freight train - what if this was his fucking girlfriend? Normally with victims you didn’t have to jump through so many hoops but Xavier was different. Something about him was very different from the rest of your victims but you were still trying to put your finger on exactly why. You cleared your throat and figured before you left like they wanted you too, you should atleast introduce yourself.

“Hi, I’m (y/n)”.

You said, sporting a smile as you took a step forward toward Montana to shake her hand. She took it and shook it a bit too roughly and spotted a grin that would even make the Cheshire Cat jealous.

“I’m Montana! It’s nice to finally know the name of one Xavier’s girlfriends”.

She said with a excited look on her face. You quickly opened your mouth to speak - this girl was pretty straight forward wasn’t she? Atleast you knew she wasn’t dating Xavier.

“Oh - im not his girlfriend, we actually just met but you know.. I wouldn’t mind changing that”.

You said, adding a playful wink and biting your lip while staring instensily at Xavier. You knew you were being incredibly straight forward as well but at this point you didnt care, you just wanted to see him again.

Xavier finally stopped looking at Montana and met your gaze as he took a couple steps toward you.

“Me too, babe. My place tonight at six? I’ll pick you up”.

Xavier said and you quickly gave him your address and awkwardly left the locker room with Montana’s stare burning holes through your back. Maybe she was just jealous?

It didn’t matter, after tonight Xavier wouldn’t exsist anyway so who even cared what this supposed friend of his thought of you... but. Something weird was happening to you. The thought of actually killing again made you happy - yes. Just the act of taking another’s life and seeing them suffer but having it be Xavier? You barely knew the guy but it almost made you sad to not be able to see him again after tonight. He really did seem like a sweet guy with good intentions but that never seemed to stop you before.

You went back to the lobby and quickly picked up your bag that you had left there (albeit carelessly) and you figured tonight you would bring your knife just in case. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to kill him tonight - the vibe felt off. Plus, since when had you been on a actual date that didn’t involve murder at the end?? The answer was never. You deserved to have a nice date, with a pretty person. Murder could wait until tommorow.

Montana and Xavier both stared at

you as you passed them, and watched as you left the locker room. However, they both held their breath until the locker room door completely shut close. Montana snapped her head forward once the door shut and decided to be the one who first spoke.

“Xavier, that person is not to be trusted”.

Montana took a couple steps toward him as she spoke. Xavier immeaditly furrowed his eyebrows in a look of confusion, he could feel himself automatically getting defensive. He loved Montana (as a friend of course) but he swore Montana took that love in a different way.. And this made it obvious. He just met you, why was Montana already investigating into you and making wild accusations? This made no sense unless perhaps Montana had feelings again for Xavier.

However Xavier merely crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head.

“That’s funny coming from you”.

However, Montana didn’t laugh or even smile. She continued to look completely serious, as she spoke.

“I’m not kidding. I don’t care if shes pretty or a good kisser or whatever the hell. You need to promise me you won’t see them tonight like you said”.

Her voice first started out as harsh and then grew soft and almost vulnerable.

Xavier shifted in place and nervously licked his lips.

“Montana what the hell. I’m not just gonna blindly follow what you say”.

Xavier said, his words spitting venom as he spoke. At this point he really didn’t care if he was coming out as harsh - Montana had a boyfriend.. why couldn’t she just leave Xavier alone with this new girl he just met?

Montana stepped closer to Xavier and put both of her hands of his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye as she spoke.

“You need to listen to me Xavier or your going to get yourself killed”.

Montana’s cherry red lips turned into a snarl.

“I saw their bag in the lobby and there was a knife in it. It was a fucking big knife Xav, no one just carries a knife like that”.

Montana added but Xavier was still in denial. Xavier looked at the ground as he slightly paced back and forth in place.

“How big of a knife”?

Xavier asked quietly.

“Its a fucking butchers knife. I wouldn’t be worried if it was a pocket knife, Xavier”!

Montana replied and Xavier kind of froze. He didn’t know how to react, he knew all of the men that had gone missing as of lately. And he also knew that they were all around the same age and had the same appearance that he had. Could he really be the next victim? He felt tears start to prick at his eyes, there was no way. This girl he had met ealier was so sweet, just because she had a knife didn’t mean she was a fucking killer.. right?

All that Xavier could think to do in response to this was to look up at Montana sadly.

“Why were you going through their bag in the first place”?

Xavier asked, his voice coming out as jagged and rough with emotion. However, Montana still continued to act stoic as she nearly yelled at him.

“You nearly hooked up with a fucking serial killer and your concerned about my priorities? Dude, you need to promise me you won’t see them again”.

Xavier stared at Montana blankly. It was obvious what this was about, he knew Montana really found no knife and he also knew Montana made up this whole story because she was jealous. That was it. Montana just didn’t wanna see Xavier with anyone else, that was the bottom line.. Xavier rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Montana. I have another class to get too”.

He could hear Montana protesting and yelling his name as he walked past her but he didn’t care anymore. He was determined - he was going to meet you tonight at six, whether it killed him or not.

He had to admit to himself though, even though he was excited to see you again a part of him dreaded it. He knew there was a small chance that Montana could be right - and what if she was?

Even though Xavier knew he was in pretty good shape he knew his muscles magically became useless when it came to self defense. He was shit at self defense honestly. He was good at archery but he didn’t own a fucking bow and arrow.

He made a mental note to pick up a pocket knife before coming to pick you up. If you really were a fucking killer a pocket knife wasn’t going to stop you but it was sure better than nothing.

Six O’ Clock came and went and Xavier picked you up in the glamourus Vanta-C. Being in a van that smelled heavily of weed and nothing else wasn’t too exciting but somehow Xavier made it fun, like how he did with everything it seemed like.

He had a sort of magic about him, the type of magic that made you actually start to feel things for once - feel different emotions that you had never felt before. Like would you even dare say it, love? Well, maybe love was a bit of a exaggeration - you just met the guy after all - but, you had no idea honestly.. you had nothing else to base this off of, you’ve never really had a crush or romantic interest on anyone before ever. The interest you’ve had in your other previous victims was always based off of looks - it was the thrill of the chase that appealed to you more than anything. However, you couldn’t say that about Xavier. After meeting him ealier - you were dying to get to know him better so that you could probably fall in love with him, if you were even capable of doing that.

Maybe it was foolish to assume that Xavier would be taking you back to his apartment, or house, or wherever the hell he lived but he didn’t. You two stayed in the Vanta-C which he drove and parked it in a park that was a couple blocks or so away from where you resided.

It took you two a while to decide on a decent place to park the car and go to - at first it was a matter of where to go. Whether to go and get food, or head over to someone’s place or just stay in the Vanta and obviously the last option won.

You had to admit the scene you two were in was starting to get rather romantic - not that you experienced this type of feeling before but rather You based this feeling off of movies and other various entertainment you’ve watched; this is what romance seemed like to you.

The sun was just starting to set; painting the sky a various different tones of purples, blues and pinks as the sun started to dip further and further into the tree line. You and Xavier both ditched the front and the passenger seat and both camped out in the very back of the van - where the seat was really more of a glorified couch than a actual seat.

The windows were all shut and so were the doors, essentially so that you two could hotbox. You never thought that a pretty boy like Xav would smoke weed, but you also thought he was gay at first so - you found it best not to assume anything about him anymore.

There was plenty of room left on the back seat but you and Xavier chose to sit incredibly close to eachother. You sat side by side and your shoulder and arms touched but you didn’t mind of course. The closer the better.

Your bag was pooled near your feet, near the door which was away from Xavier. Sure enough, the knife was inside but it was hidden under a couple of other objects that you kept in your bag. The longer you spent with him, the more you were regretting bringing the knife in the first place.. because it was making you fucking neurotic. When he first picked you up, all you could think about and focus on was that god damn knife and how it would end up slitting Xavier’s throat by the end of the night. However, you seemed to be more relaxed the longer you were around him. It was hard to tell whether it was just the vibes he gave off or the weed that relaxed you so much; maybe both.

By now, the thoughts of killing and that stupid knife had become lost and put somewhere far off in your brain - somewhere you couldn’t access when you were high. You barely even noticed you were Intensely staring down your bag until you felt a soft hand gently rub down your arm.

“Hey babe, are you okay”?

You looked back up at Xavier to only see him wearing a puzzled expression of his face - which looked adorable with his blue puppy dog eyes. You also noticed in his other hand (that wasn’t still on your arm) was the blunt you two were smoking - oops.

“Yeah, I’m okay”.

You replied, your voice small and rather quiet. You took the blunt from Xavier and took a deep hit, and sat with the smoke in your lungs for a couple seconds. It wasn’t until you felt the smoke burning and eating away at your lungs and throat was when you exhaled. You exhaled slowly, dreamily watching the smoke cloud up the Vanta-C even more so than it already was.

Before you even knew it, or consciously decided to - you heard yourself talking.

“Actually, no. I’m not okay.. I have something to tell you”.

You swallowed and took one last quick hit before handing the blunt back to your new lover and looking him in the eyes. You saw something in his eyes that was new to you - was it fear? Why he was he scared?? It was only a glimmer of fear that you caught in his eyes but still - it defintly threw you off guard. You just saw his lips part like he was about to say something when you quickly spoke first.

“Xavier, I’m crazy about you”.

You blurted out, with a embarrassing giggle. You blamed being incredibly straight forward on the weed, of course you would never be like this if you were sober. Never.

Your lips closed into a closed mouth smile, you had more to say but you figured to wait for some kind of reaction from Xavier first. The glimmer of fear you saw in his eye ealier seemed to morph into confusion, disbelief, and then happiness. Pure happiness.

“What”?

He laughed.

“You heard me! I know I just met you, but Xav’ I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.. and I mean it”.

Xavier gently placed his hands on your face - on both of your cheeks - before deeply kissing you. You placed your hands on his chest which effectively made him start to lay down while you gently maneuvered your way on top of him so that you two would be laying down on the long back seat of his van.

You moved your leg up to straddle him when you felt your foot snag on something. At first you merely tried to pull it away free but to no avail. Xavier broke away from you since he could feel you moving your leg vigorously and you managed to get your leg free with one big final yank of your leg.

You snapped your head to see what the fuck dared make this gorgeous man stop kissing you when your heart stopped - it was your bag. You must’ve hooked your foot around your bag and when you freed your foot you managed to topple the bag and spill out all of the contents... which meant your butchers knife was on full fucking display for Xavier to see.

FUCK.

You felt your breath stop as the world seemed to come to a stand still. You felt frozen, bewildered and caught off guard but you definetly didn’t feel scared. You moved your leg over awkwardly to straddle him but the vibe had defintly changed. The romantic vibes that seemed in the air ealier had been swept clean and nearly were completly gone. You decided to try and save your ass and be the first to speak.

“Xavier I-“

“Get off of me”.

He spoke softly and his voice was lowered. You took a deep breath as you awkwardly climbed off of him and you two sat in the position that you two were in ealier - side by side execpt you two were farther apart this time.

You tried again to explain yourself but Xavier spoke first.

“What the hell is this? W-why did you bring that knife”?

You noted how his eyes started to have tears building up in them. You absentmindedly moved the knife back into your bag with your foot and noticed how badly Xavier flinched away from you when you did so. Your turned your focus back to Xavier.

“Look, I know it looks bad but I just keep it on me for self defense. You know, with the night stalker and all”?

You said, with a slight giggle. Instantly, the tension that built up was broken and it was almost like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He laughed and he scooted up the seat to get closer to you - stepping on all of items from your bag that were still on the ground but you didn’t really care. You were just happy you were able to pull off that lie and convince him you were someone else you really weren’t.

A thought crossed the back of your mind of how easy it would really be to just reach down and grab the knife and easily slit his throat. It would be almost too easy, but no.

As Xavier pulled you into his arms and you layed down into the rough fabric of the back seat, you felt safe (which was incredibly ironic). You felt at home, and in love.

As you turned your head to continue where you two had left off at the locker room, you couldn’t help but hazily day dream about tommorow.

Just because Xavier’s life was spared didn’t mean your thirst or your itch to take another’s life was gone.. it just meant it would have to wait until tommorow.

Taglist: @guiltyfiend

#xavier x reader #fic #my works #my fic #ahs #1984 #xavier plympton x reader #is this love?

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boymeetsweevil · 6 years

Text

Slippery slopes ahead

Grouping: Thirsty!Reader x Confused!Jimin

Word Count: ~6.6k (NSFW)

Warnings/Themes: sad amounts of desperate thirst, BRUISE PLAY? is that real? either way its a big one. Sex. First time sex but neither of them is a virgin. Jimin thinks he knows was BDSM is and he’s wrong. for some reason every time i write jimin he has a slight panty fetish lmao

Summary: “Look at you,” he coos. “All this time I thought you were shy.”

A/N: I made a banner look :’) isn’t it beautiful, legible, and not at all ugly?? Also this shares a universe with my other fic Sleeping Bags as well as my contribution to the BSC Secret Santa project!!!!

“If I don’t sleep with Jimin on this trip, I think I’m going to die.”

Lisa is accustomed enough to your lust filled rants that she doesn’t stop packing her bags. She does, however, give you side-eye that is so full of vague disappointment that you actually feel ashamed for a fraction of a second.

“What? I can feel you judging me.” You wag your finger at her. “ But there’s nothing wrong with wanting sex. ” Your voice is slightly whiny. And it’s been whiny since you started dating Park Jimin.

Lisa merely huffs at you and folds yet another sweater before putting it in her suitcase. You stand with your hands on your hips, a pair of lacy panties dangles from your clenched fist. You look so serious that Lisa can’t take you seriously and her annoyance breaks with a snort.

“Nothing,” Lisa sighs. “It’s just the way you’re always gagging for it makes me embarrassed. For you.”

“So?”

“So this is technically a trip for the community service club and not for your 4 month-iversary or whatever.”

You sniff, opting to ignore her logic. “Well, I’ll stop gagging when he finally gags me.” You punctuate the statement with a petulant toss of the panties.

“Do you hear yourself right now?”

“Sorry, sorry. I just...” you stare into the distance. “He’s just so hot. And for what?”

If she couldn’t hear the actual words you were using, Lisa might think you were contemplating some grand theme of life. The bittersweet expression on your face is all too grave to be the result of a little horniness. Although, given how well Lisa knows you, perhaps she should give you a pass.

“You know, if this were a movie, we’d be failing the Bechdel test right now.”

“Oh, whatever. hat’s not even the most accurate measure of a film’s womanist content.”

“Look who was paying attention in class. Wow.” She adds another folded shirt to her suitcase. “If you’re dying of thirst why don’t you, I don’t know, talk to him?”

“I can’t. It’d give him a heart attack. He thinks I have, like, dick-phobia and that I probably couldn’t ever make it past third base.”

“Why the hell would he think that? Does he know know you?”

“Remember that time we went to Namjoon’s party and he asked to use my laptop to play the movie?”

Lisa’s mouth drops open with the memory. “Oh my god yeah. The thing with the porn.”

You both grow quiet as you recall the time that Kim Namjoon, a mutual friend of yours and Jimin’s, accidentally projected a porno from your laptop onto the giant screen instead of the dark comedy you and 20 other people had gathered to watch.

It had been a few weeks before the official start of your relationship with Jimin, and you suppose he had misinterpreted your mortification. He probably thought your clammy hands and face were because you were worried people would judge you for being a fan of the video. Technically, that was what you were scared of. But only because you were worried people would judge the porno by its actors because they both weren’t 25 year old hotties instead of its quality. The video in question was of a woman with heinous lip fillers getting rawed by a man with a severely receding hairline. In truth, though, you’d learned to give the best head of your life from DSL Diana™️ and Matt Boner™️ always had great woman-friendly videos. They were a true power couple in the adult film world and only real aficionados would know that.

“Yeah,” you cringe to yourself and resume packing your own bag. “And that was before we even started going out. Since then, I can’t make any headway with him. If I try to put my hand down his pants, he stops and asks me if his fly is down.”

“Oh. My god.” Lisa balks at how easily you overshare. “W-well, maybe he’s waiting until what he thinks is the right moment to have sex.”

“I mean…I guess.” You shove more socks into your duffle. “But if that’s the case, this trip to the ski lodge should be more than good enough. For him, I mean. I’m not that picky after the other person is already locked down.”

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. How is this trip going to work when you can’t ski?”

“How do you know I can’t ski?”

Lisa snorts.

Right as the sun begins to set, the resort comes into view from the coach bus window. It's probably a beautiful sight, but you’re more fixated on the back of Jimin’s head. The look that you’re giving him itself isn’t one that’s warm or passionate. Instead you’re wondering what’s going on in his head as he presses himself to the window to get a better look.

“I still can’t believe we actually managed to get a suite at Crystal Snow.” He points to the glimmering slopes and turns to you with an excited smile. “They import their own snow when the winters are too warm for it to happen naturally. Last year they imported 6 million tons last year.”

“Global warming. Nice.”

His smile is so bright that you can’t hold on to your annoyance. You lean forward so you can rest your chin on his shoulder and listen to him spout off more facts about the different courses and the state of the art grounds. As soon as you move into his space, one of his hands gravitates to your knee and squeezes lightly. The urge to push his hand higher up your thigh appears, but you ignore it and try to focus on the things he’s saying.

“So, are you gonna spend all vacation on the hardest one? The—what’s it called? The black diamond?”

He turns to peer down at you with amusement creasing the corners of his eyes. “How can I do that and teach you to ski at the same time?”

“Why does everyone think I can’t ski?”

“Can you?”

“I…don’t know.”

“I’ll be a good teacher, I promise.” He plants a chaste kiss on your temple.

The resort looks as lavish as it appeared on the website, and you find yourself pleasantly surprised. As a prize for beating the other community service clubs on campus for the most funds raised for that semester’s cause, you and the other club members were all awarded a trip to Crystal Snow resorts. It seemed antithetical to the clubs’ mission statements, but you all decided to go anyway because the money to pay for the trip couldn’t be donated and the tickets were non-transferrable.

The suite itself cost a pretty penny, but the package it came with seems worth it. Attendants even come to pick up all the club members’ bags and take them ahead to the suite while you browse through the resort convenience store at the base of the mountain. Jimin and the other people in the club are scattered across the resort. Some of them already unpacking in their rooms while others came with you to the store.

Wishful thinking brings you to the aisle for ‘intimate health’. If anyone asks, you’re there to buy tampons, but you’re really hoping to sneakily buy some condoms. You still haven’t choked down your pride long enough to have an honest conversation with Jimin, so you’re hoping the moment will just pop up on its own.

Another girl stands at the very end of the aisle, ambling towards the little display of makeup that stands nearby. You pay her no mind and pick up the first package to catch your eye. A tap on your shoulder startles you and causes the box to slip from your grasp.

“Oh! Sorry,” she bends down to grab the dropped box. “I just wanted to ask you if you use concealer.”

From what you can tell, she seems to be around your age, maybe a little older. You peer down at the display she’s standing by and you try to search your brain for a brand name that sounds familiar. A small tube in the corner with memorable packaging helps you out.

“I think I’ve used this one, actually. It works pretty well, but if you use the wrong product under it, it gets a little flaky.”

“But the coverage is alright?” You nod. “I see.”

“You don’t look like you need it, though. Your skin is so clear.”

She chuckles nervously and begins to play with your condoms before she gestures daintily to her eyes. “It’s for the dark circles.”

At that moment, a boy with fiery hair comes barreling around the corner, calling the girl’s name. She turns and immediately a bright smile emerges on his face. You watch as he wraps himself around her before noticing the condom box she’s holding discreetly. He plucks it up before either of you can let him know they’re yours and brings them to the light to read the print on them. She locks eyes with you, embarrassment evident, but you offer what you hope is a comforting smile. You figure it’s easier to just get another box.

“Hope the concealer works out.” You back away to give her some privacy when the guy leans to stage-whisper into her ear.

“I appreciate the thought, but I’m sadly not a Magnum guy. Trojans work just fine for me.”

“Oh my god, why are you so loud?”

“I don’t think a 3-pack would be enough either.”

“Hoseok, lower your voice. And put those back, they’re not for us. They were hers.”

The guy with the red hair has dragged the girl away to look at something else. You watch until they disappear, letting out a chuckle. A few wispy tendrils of jealousy manifest in your stomach, but you try to stamp them out with optimism. If you buy condoms of your own, maybe it’ll have the same effect as those mantras Lisa always says before a test when she’s trying to will a good grade into existence. You figure Jimin is worth the effort.

But, as you fall on your butt for the sixth time the next afternoon, you’re not certain any amount of sex, no matter how good, is worth the pain you’re feeling currently.

You hobble back upright as best you can without disturbing your skis too much. Someone skiing behind you zooms by and you can hear their sympathetic laughter fly by with them. Fuck skiing. You don’t remember why you thought going on this trip would ever be fun.

“That fall looked hard. Are you okay?”

Jimin glides up next to you with an elegance you’ll never be able to replicate. Even the snow billows out softly in a sparkling cloud when he stops. He gives you a clinical pat-down, asking you where it hurts. You can hardly feel anything through the multiple layers and puffy coat that your wearing, so you bask in the physical contact instead.

“I’m fine, Minie.”

“You sure? We could take a break. Get some tea or something.”

“No, that’s okay. You go ahead and ski with the other professionals and I’ll stay here and practice the bunny slope.”

There’s something hilarious about watching Jimin squirm so much over such a trivial thing. He stands there, decked out in his professional gear, gnawing at the inside of his cheek as he contemplates. Does he finally go off to the exciting courses where he can get as close as possible to fulfilling his dream of flying? Does he help you stay upright, an impossible and menial task?

“Okay, I got it. Maybe you practice the pizza french fry thing the instructor taught you while I go do one pass through the other course. Then I swear I’ll come back and help you.”

“Jimin, you really don’t have to spend all this time helping me. How about you go do all the run throughs you like and you make it up to me later?”

His responding smile is shy but full of joy at the prospect of actually getting to ski. He shuffles forward, careful not to interlock your skis, and kisses you softly. He tries to pull away after only a few seconds of a chaste press of lips, but you deepen the kiss. Although it was really only a sly swipe of tongue, it has Jimin looking dazed and confused when he finally pulls back.

“Did you hit your head?”

There’s a joking lilt to his voice, but his eyes narrow as he takes you in. You still look like a marshmallow in your puffer coat and you still seem just as sweet. But the kiss was suspicious.

“Go have fun,” you wave him off before he can interrogate you further.

You wait until he disappears into a ski lift before turning around and hobbling back to the top of the gradual hill. Some of the younger club members are chatting up there and you use your seniority to make them practice with you until you can’t take it anymore.

Right before your limbs lose the ability to support your weight, you trudge back to the nearest entrance. You’re grateful for the warm air blowing in the elevator and for the fact that there is an elevator in the first place. Once inside, you strip layer by layer until you reach the room you and Jimin share in the suite.

All of the rooms in the suite are separated by small hallways that lead to a chic communal space with a picturesque view of the grounds. No one seems to be present when you finally make it through the door. You’re partly grateful because you can go shower in peace without having to worry about making small talk with other club members.

True to your agenda, you gather all the things needed to aid you in seducing Jimin. It’s mainly just soap and barely there underwear. It’s not until you begin stripping that you realize there might be a few issue. The first being that your muscles are all sore and exhausted as you struggle out of your snow-soaked clothes. But the main issue is the large bruises that show up as soon as all of your clothes are gone.

It’s true, you bruise easily. But these bruises look bad even to you. You count half a dozen muted reddened blooms sprawling across your torso. In the mirror of the bathroom, you turn to look at them. It’s almost impressive.

“We’ll just do it with the lights off,” you mumble to yourself.

The shower is longer than would be perfunctory, but the return of feeling to your toes seem rather important and the heat of the water helps in undoing some of the tension buried in the muscles that you didn’t realize you don’t regularly use until today. Right as you’re pulling on some loose pants and a shirt, you hear footsteps.

“Jimin?”

“Yeah,” he calls from somewhere outside the bathroom.

“How was it?”

You emerge from the bathroom in a sweet-smelling cloud and his first instinct is to open his arms to beckon you into them. Gladly you jump into them, causing him to fall backwards with a thud. With most of his layers still on, the fall is broken and there’s no harm done.

“The hills were great.” His eyes cloud over briefly with the memories of skiing.

He pats your hip lightly and you roll over so he can start shedding his own soggy layers. You watch him shrug off his vest, revealing a thermal athletic shirt. The fabric is opaque and covers his entire torso, but it's also tight enough to mold to his physique like a second skin. Under his snow pants, the matching thermal tights he’s wearing also reveal the architecture of his sculpted thighs, though his thick socks give his feet a teddy bear quality. The planes of his slender frame and compact muscles are a sight to behold and you feel a prickling in the palms of your tightly clasped hands. You’re itching to touch him.

“You checking me out?” He smiles cheekily and stands so he can shuck off the rest of his wet clothes.

“Of course,” you breathe. Your candid answer startles a full-bodied laugh out of him.

“What’s gotten into you this today?”

“Not you” you whisper.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just said I’m still a little cold, even after the shower. Why don’t we watch a movie in the bed and I can leech some of your body heat.”

“Yeah, as soon I get cleaned up. I really worked up a sweat while I was out there. I was racing Jungkook. He’s fast but his form is just okay. Plus, he’s a dick.”

It takes you all of the time that Jimin is in the shower to pick the perfect pose on the bed. Something that isn’t too obviously thought out while also highlighting all of your assets as best you can while wearing such loose clothing. It’s times like these where you curse yourself for not having any loungewear that’s figure-friendly, but you have enough trouble as it is sleeping in pants, let alone constricting ones. You finally settle for lying on your side with your back facing the entrance of the bedroom. It puts your ass on display—especially given that you tugged you pants down a little to let the lace of your underwear peep out. With your phone in your hands, you’re certain you look like the picture of nonchalance.

At the sound of his footsteps entering the bedroom again, you deliver your lines

“Oh, how long have you been out of the shower? I got so wrapped up in my feed, I didn’t notice you were out.” You quickly refresh your email despite the fact that your inbox is very much empty.

“Just got out. Did you pick a movie?”

“No, I figured you could pick it and if I don’t like it I’ll just take a nap.”

You turn and instantly regret it. Jimin stands with the shirt he plans to put on in one hand, leaving him bare from the waist up. His face is covered by the towel he’s using to scrub at his wet hair. When he finally throws on the shirt, a small sigh leaves you.

He hops into the bed and hands you the remote before dragging you into his hold. The way his arms wrap around you means he’s pressing slightly into one of the bruises that spreads across the side of your rib cage. There’s a low twinge of pain, but since cuddling with Jimin is part of the plan, you don’t say anything. You click through the movie listing because he’s too busy with you to hold the remote.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to watch this one?”

“Yeah,” he nuzzles his nose into your cheek, “but I heard it got shitty ratings at the box office.”

“Oh. What about this one? The trailer looked really good.”

“I thought it was my turn to pick.”

He squeezes you to complement his faux-whines, pressing the bruise harder. Underneath the mild pain is a surprising layer of something else. It’s hard to decipher and registers as vaguely smoky in your senses. All you know is that it’s not actually that bad of a sensation.

“I-it is your turn. I just want to make sure that you see all the options.”

A few more minutes pass until you finally choose a movie. Jimin picke a movie about anthropomorphic vegetables because he has a surprisingly awful sense of humor. If your goal was to actually sit down and watch a movie, you’d be debating his choice. But you don’t care and instead work on subtly pulling down the collar of his t-shirt so you can get to his neck.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. You just smell nice.” In the juncture of where his shoulder meets neck, you inhale deeply. “Right here.”

“Feels good.” He hums, eyes still glued to the gyrating broccoli stalk on the screen.

“Good.”

Starting slowly, you place tiny kisses on as much of his neck as you can reach. Your hands wander under his t-shirt and your fingers dig into a cord of muscle in his back. He lets out a small groan. You spend some time working on the spot until he melts a little further into your embrace. While he’s pliant you hitch your leg over his hip. It’s not enough to be able to grind on him, but the suggestion is there. You know he’s aware of it too because he casts a narrowed glance in your direction before giving you another warning squeeze in the same spot again. A breathy gasp leaves you like it’s been punched out and a smile spreads on your face soon after. You’re having fun riling him up.

“Be careful,” his tone is full of warning.

“Why?”

He looks at you again with sly warning in his eyes. A heavy hand pats your back before petting down the attractive curve of your spine. The warm weight of his palm only a few inches from your ass is wonderfully suspenseful.

“You’ll be in over your head, otherwise.”

“I don’t think so,” you smile up at him while smoothing the fabric of his shirt. The pitter-patter of his heartbeat feels like butterfly kisses on your palm.

“Is that so?”

You nod, tongue poking out from between your teeth teasingly.

He rolls over so you’re caged underneath him. Instantly his lips meet yours in a slow intermingling that would be considered chaste if not for the obscene amount of tongue and the cyclical pressure of his groin against your lower abdomen. You manage to wrestle your legs out from under him so you can part them. His hips easily fall into the slot you make for him. He hums lowly against your mouth as he makes contact with the warmth of your center, perceptible even through the layers of bottoms you’re both still wearing. A hand worms it’s way underneath your shirt, fingers splaying past the elastic waistband of your pants and meeting the rough texture of lace.

“No way,” he breathes to himself before sitting up on an elbow.

He lifts the waistband further to peer into crotch of your pants. There he sees the tiny pair of underwear you put on for the occasion. It’s a pretty cornflower blue color that he’s pretty sure he’s told you is his favorite. He drags his gaze from your lace-clad hips to the smug expression on your face.

“Look at you,” he coos. “All this time I thought you were shy.”

“I think that was something you made up. I’m really not shy. At least, not when it comes to you.”

You try to wrap your arms around him to bring him back to your mouth, but he resists.

“Hold on, I wanna see again.”

He slides your pants down a few inches, slowly as if to tease himself. By the time the whole garment is exposed, you’re shivering a little bit from the cool air. He leans down to press a few kisses on the skin of your stomach and pulls your pants down further. He groans and reaches down to palm himself through his pants.

“Turn over, please?”

You get onto your stomach as quickly as you can with your pants tangled around your legs. As soon as you get settled, you hear a large gasp.

“Shit!”

“How’s it look,” you ask coyly.

“Holy—Are you okay?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

You crook your head back so you can see what he sees and suddenly you understand his strange reaction to your ass. There’s another large bruise spanning the top of one of your thighs reaching past the boundary of your panties. Since it was on the back of your leg, you must have missed it during your cursory inspection in the shower.

“We should go to the infirmary. Or maybe we should just see if we can get a car to take you home.”

“No, Jimin, I’m fine.” If you go home now, you’re certain you’ll be back to square one.

“I don’t know. It looks...angry.”

“That’s just because I bruise easily. I’m not actually injured—”

“Hold on. Where did this come from? Did someone do this to you?”

“No, no. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s probably from all the falls I had today. I guess I really can’t ski after all.” You chuckle awkwardly. He ignores your joke and glares down at the bruise instead.

“So, you probably have a lot of them, then.”

He tugs your pants the rest of the way down. The one on the back of your thigh seems to wrap around to the intercrural area. And there are, in fact, more bruises. Another one lies on your opposite calf. When he reaches for your shirt, you brush his hand away and slowly lift it yourself. The one on your rib cage is large, and he stares on in horror. Then he shifts and peers at the smaller ones on your back.

“You really want to tell me that you’re fine?”

“Yes. Because I’m actually fine.” He raises an incredulous eyebrow. “I mean it, I really am.”

“Fine. But at least let me put something on them.”

“As long as it’s not ice.”

He glares weakly at you when you rule out his first instinct. Looking through his bag for remedies ends up being disappointing. He comes back empty handed.

“Couldn’t find anything?” He shakes his head. “Sad. Maybe we should just go back to what we were doing before.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“No.”

“I’ll tell you what. Let me massage the areas and if they don’t hurt, I’ll take it as a sign that you’re okay. And we can go back to doing whatever you want. But if I find out that you’re in pain, we’re taking a rain check.”

“Deal.”

A moment later, in hindsight, you realize you may have just dug your own grave. The bruises are fairly tender though you’re not in agony. But you’re sure that even the slightest flinch will send Jimin running for the figurative hills. Although he also might just go back to the actual hills and leave you in the suite to let your blue balls stew.

Jimin sits on his heels in front of you with an unreadable expression. Despite the cold in the air, you kicked off your pants entirely so that he would have easy access to your sore muscles. He’d asked you before whether you wanted to start from the top, but thinking that your rib cage bruise was the most sensitive made you tell him to work his way up. You figured that if you could make it through the first few bruises, he might believe that they were all fine and drop the issue.

He starts with the lowest bruise which is the one on your calf. First he plays around with your ankle, rotating it and swiveling your foot to flex your calf. You bite the inside of your cheek to make sure no pained noise slip out. Surprisingly enough, even when he lightly presses on the bruise itself, it’s not bad. He works over the muscle without you making a single peep. Hope bubbles in your stomach and you wonder if tonight will be the night that you finally bed Park Jimin.

“One down, a few more to go. Although I really don’t know if you need to go through all of them.”

“It’s the least I can do for you. After all,” he says with challenge in his gaze, “you tried so hard to become familiar with one of my hobbies.”

“I’m a great girlfriend.”

“That is true.” His tone turns genuine as he switches legs and moves up your unblemished calf the same way.

With you on your back and the next bruise on your thigh mainly towards the back, he has to lift your leg to get access. Your hamstrings are always tight and the stretch in itself makes you grimace slightly. But you tamp down on it quickly and school your features into a neutral arrangement so as not to lose the unspoken competition at play.

“How does this feel?”

He presses his fingers lightly into the bruised skin and you have to twist your fingers into the duvet beneath you. It hurts much more than your calf, about the same as your rib cage. But you can also feel familiar stirrings of arousal in the pit of your belly. You take a deep breath and compose yourself.

“It feels fine. I just don’t usually stretch this part, so this position is a little tough.” The smile he gives you is mean, almost predatory. He calls your bluff.

“I see. I’ll try not to linger here too much then.”

A few inches higher up your thigh, the pain along with the arousal gets more acute. And as Jimin’s fingers move higher up and closer to your inner thigh, you’re not sure if you can take it.

“Mmfh, fuck.” You whine when he’s about an inch away from the apex of your thighs.

“Aha! I knew it.”

“Wait, no—”

“Nope, that’s it. I’ll finish breaking up any lactic acid, but after that I’m putting up a pillow wall and you’re keeping your hands to yourself until you’ve healed.”

“But I’m fine, though.”

“It’s okay. There’ll be other times. Let me finish up. I’d rather do boring stuff than hurt you.”

At that moment you want to scream out of frustration. A little pain may actually be what you’re seeking and convincing him that it’s actually what you want could take forever. You search for a solution desperately as he continues his gentle ministrations. But you’re getting tired, and at this point there’s no point in masking anything.

You sink down into the pillows propping you up, letting the mix of pain and pleasure wash over you as he tries to jumpstart the healing process in your skin. Little whines and grunts sneak past your lips as he works over you. The higher he goes, the louder and more unabashed your sounds become until he becomes confused. He stops.

“Am I hurting you? I know I’m not a professional, so we can stop—”

“No,” you clench and unclench your thighs. “Keep going.”

He’s about to continue when he notices the large wet spot on the seat of your underwear. Somehow he missed it as he was focusing on ridding the tension from you. He clears the small distance to your underwear and strokes his thumb across the growing stain. The underwear is wet enough that it’s actually started to cling to your folds and leaves a shining residue on his finger.

“Is this...because of the bruises?”

“Yeah.”

“But they hurt, don’t they?”

“Yeah. But it’s good, too.”

“I see,” he cedes after a beat.

Hooking his fingers, he pulls on the waistband of your underwear until you can kick it off your ankles. He surges forward and you take his weight with a low grunt, eagerly wrapping your arms and a leg around him so he can’t run away again. With one hand snaking down to return to your thigh, the other cups your cheek tenderly. He kisses you tentatively at first, like he’s not sure if your newfound desire is fully tangible.

“So, are you into BDSM or something?”

“I wouldn’t go that far. But this is kinda nice.”

“I guess I just don’t want to hurt you. I’m not really sure where the line would be, y’know?”

“I’m not asking you to hang me from the ceiling and flog me. We can save that for some other time.”

You meet halfway and continue making out. Jimin seems slightly emboldened and hedges his tongue across the seam of your lips. You open for him and he continues his exploration of your mouth. The way he kisses you today is different from all the other times. While he often left you with a low burning desire before, you had no idea just how much he was holding back. And though he’s not pulling away at the start of heavy petting, he’s still treating you like you might break.

“What’s bothering you, Minie?”

“What do you mean?”

“It feels like you still haven’t let go yet. I’m not that fragile.”

“But I don’t want to weird you out.”

“I really doubt that will happen.”

“Okay.”

He kisses you again, this time slightly sloppier before pulling away and thumbing at the moisture on your lips. You sit still and let him keep fondling your lips until you part them on instinct. As soon as you do, his thumb enters your mouth. You hollow your cheeks and suck.

“Fuck,” he shudders over you. “That’s it.”

You have to ignore the impulse to laugh. He just found out that you get turned on with the right type of pain—how could he ever think a finger in your mouth would weird you out? He removes his finger, gently, and fumbles with his own bottoms. You push yourself up on your elbows to get a look at his junk. You’re not sure what you’re expecting, but a first time dick reveal is always exciting. He’s only half hard once the pants are off, but that won’t be the case for long if the way he grips himself is any indication. At least, you hope he’ll be ready soon, because you’ve been dripping for what feels like forever.

This is something he also takes note of. Shifting his hips forward, you feel the blunt edge of him nudge your sticky lips. Both of you release sighs of relief at the contact and Jimin starts rutting against you, repeatedly parting your folds as he slides his length through the arousal pooling there. When his head bumps your clit, you gasp.

“Yeah?” He bumps against it again, and once you nod frantically, he starts to grind against the spot.

The way you look writhing underneath him sets something ablaze in him. Jimin lays his hand over one of your breasts, rolling the nipple. Your back arches forward and you mirror his movements on the other one. With your free hand you nudge him closer to the bruise on your rib cage.

“A-again?”

“Yeah. Just go slow.”

While grinding into your wet heat, he starts dragging his hand down your side. With each stroke of his hand, his fingers catch on the slightly sweaty bruised area. A moan builds in your chest and rips out of you when you take over tweaking your own piqued nipples. It’s not until his rhythm slips and he nearly enters you that you remember what other things you could be doing.

“Jimin, I—oh god—want you inside me. Are you ready?”

He tests his hardness briefly. “Yeah.”

You alert him of the condoms you bought earlier that day. He looks where you direct him (under the mattress) and laughs at your readiness. He laughs again at the sleepy, hungry look in your eyes as you watch him roll the condom down his length. When he crawls back to you on the bed, he’s trying to be campy, but somehow he still looks incredibly attractive.

Everything turns sweet and slow again as he leans down to kiss you. Your tongues glide against each other and he positions himself so his arms bear his weight on either side of your head. He pushes in slowly and the stretch has you biting into the meat of his nearby bicep. Once you adjust, he begins pumping into you with the same fervor he had before entering. He’s close and his thrusts are too shallow for your liking. You reach down and press on his lower back to urge him deeper. You would have released after he got the message, but the globes of his ass are so perky and firm in your hands that you can’t help but swat at them.

“What the hell!” He jumps inside of you but doesn’t stop the swiveling of his hips, cheeks coloring with embarrassment.

“Sorry,” you place an open mouthed kiss on the column of his neck as further apology. “You just have a cute butt.”

He laughs, the sound breathy from exertion. “Cute? Not sexy?”

“It feels cute.”

“Don’t call me cute while I’m inside you.”

With that he brings a hand down to search for your clit. Your breath hitches and he quickens the pace of his hips to match the speed of his fingers. The tight figure eights around the little nub have your core tightening as your orgasm approaches. You feel like a vice around him and he gasps, hips stuttering as he pours into the latex barrier.

You look ethereal beneath him with dewy skin that seems to glow, but you haven’t come yet. So despite the sensitivity from just having come himself, he pulls you forward by the hips and continues to piston into you with grit teeth. He raises your leg to hit deeper with one hand while his free hand edges under the other leg. With his fingers spread wide, he manages to press his fingers into the bruise that spreads across the the underside of your thigh and flick his thumb across your clit in a flurry.

Your orgasm hits you with an unexpected amount of force. It feels as though your lungs have stopped working and you can’t take any more breaths, but you don’t care. Your vision whites out at the same moment that a final wave of wetness trickles over where your bodies are joined.

Jimin pulls out carefully now that you’re both over sensitive. Your leg flops down with a low thump on the mattress. Right into the small puddle your organsm must have caused.

“Wait a second, did I—”

“Looks like it,” he peers down at the stain with admiration.

“Well, that’s a first. How was that for you?”

“It was good,” he trails off with a smile. “You know...you’re pretty kinky.”

“No, I’m not. You’re just vanilla.”

“I’m not vanilla,” he balks.

“Yeah, right. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done.”

“I, uh. Hmm.” It takes him a long while to think. “Oh, one time I watched this porn with two girls.”

“Is that all?”

“No! They were wearing, like, really tricky leather outfits.” You start snickering but he continues. “They were pulling each other’s hair on purpose. And one of them was spanking the other with this...cutting board.”

“Do you mean a paddle? Oh my god, you’re so cute. To think you thought I would be in over my head.”

He stomps off to get a wet towel from the bathroom. When he returns, he’s still pouting but helps you with clean up. It takes pressing yourself against his bare back while he strips the bed and several well placed kisses to get him to stop the sulking.

“Really, though. Why did you think I would be so skittish for our first time? Is it because of movie night at Namjoon’s?”

“Honestly? It’s because of the first day we met.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought you were a children’s librarian.” Your head tilts in confusion. “It was probably because you were wearing a cardigan.”

“I only ever wear cardigans when I go in to the daycare to read, though.”

“First impressions can be lasting,” he nods sagely to his own words.

“So what do you think about me now?”

You sit back down in front of him so he can evaluate you. You’ve thrown on a different loose t-shirt but your legs are bare.

“The same. You’re still my ‘nice little girlfriend’, as my mom says.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmm,” he hums pensively before crouching into your space, eyes playful. “Maybe not so nice.”

#btssmutclub #bangtan bookclub #networkbangtan #bttnetwork #95line.net #bscproject #bts smut #bts fanfction #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bangtan fanfic #bangtan scenarios #bangtan imagines #jimin fanfic #jimin scenarios #jimin imagine

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myvelouri · 5 years

Text

Crazy night. Went out to the bar and ran into lots of people I know

Some were ppl I knew because of my ex ha

It was still funny and Brian and I have very similar music tastes even though I venture into heavier music. We were vibing HARD all night. My buddy came out even tho I didn't know he would. He was really into Brian's wife and lol the other friends saw that. It's okay. He won't get with her. She is cute too though, she tiny

Um so we went to whataburger and for some reason a bunch of goth looking hotties kept coming in! I asked one and nah, they didn't come from the same place! It was just a coincidence! I met Jay's girlfriend and she was being really nice to me and saying she liked my shirt and this and that. I tried hard to not make Jay feel like, you know? I didn't want to make it seem I'm into his girl.

I even kept saying how cute Jay is and his girl was like "RIGHT? CAN YOU PLEASE TELL HIM THAT?!" and I said "oh god his smile kills me" hahaha I love Jay.

So there was two girls were my buddy and I talked to as we left and they were kinda hot. But he wanted to leave so we stood outside just talking. And look who came outta nowhere. Sam

Fucking Sam.

At Whataburger

He looked upset. I was fucking with her and she wanted to just get food and go cause the drive through was busy. It's 3-4am

Well we sat together, just me and her. She said she'd sit with me. She ordered. We talked. And her order took fucking 20 mins so I went up to them and said wtf? And they forgot it dude.

I got her back tho

She was so sad and she said she made only 40 bucks in tips tonight. Holy shit that's bad. A Saturday?! Yikes.

She wanted fries and I got them for her. I was being a good friend

I got the sauces she wanted and everything

Cause I'm like that and we finally got to chill alone

So she got this egg thing, kind of a egg McMuffin thing. Lmao but it's Whataburger

She didn't want the egg so I took it ahahaha

I ate it

Filled me up actually

Uh, I told her about the girls I wanted but I didn't go for them cause I was with her lol

She was so sad

I asked her about the concert we were gonna go to and she suddenly has work?! And I said I took off already, and idk, it was annoying to me a bit cause she a flake.

But idc. I'm going to the concert anyway

She said she'd probably come anyway

Suuuuuure Sam suuure

Uh she was drinking somethin and I asked what she's drinking and I filled her up her drink for her. I wanted her to feel happy cause she had a bad night. It's just how I am.

Remember that couple that stole the girl I was into and the wife kept trying to hook me up with the friend? I saw them and she was mean and said "yeah you're not good enough for her" lmao girl please, I'm better than your husband and you don't even know me. I don't cheat. LMFAO. Dumbass bitch

But ya.

The friend actually called me over to talk and lol she had a date. I totally overtook him and didn't realize they were on a date.

Oh lawd. I'm sorry man

Okay back to my whataburger night with Sam. We left and she wanted a lighter cause she flushed hers down the toilet hahahah

Anyway, I told her I'm not into relationships

So I asked if she wanted to make out. Idk I'm still drunk actually. I'm an idiot when tipsy drunk

She saud

She said no, and. And she said she's a good kisser.

I was surprised man

Oh ya lol she told me to shove that egg in my entire mouth and I did and I couldn't and her laugh way extremely adorable and REAL. omg aw.

What a cute.

Oh right, I kept asking if she wanted anything else. I wanted to buy her food cause she had a bad night

I got her a other egg McMuffin thing. And she gave me the egg lmao. I ate that shit, lmao

Shit was fun. I think she's really cute. I want to be friends with her and just fool around

She said she can't do normal ppl shit. Her life is hard too. A kid and her parents want her to pay for a broken phone screen. She asked me if I knew a place that repairs them for cheap. I didn't unfortunately

Hope I didn't break anything, the friendship or whatever by asking to kiss her. But like, I think I already asked her before too lmao

It's what you get if your friends with drunk-me

Hehe

He took the food I bought her home.

Her outfit was mad cute.

#personal

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tellywoodtrash · 7 years

Text

ishqbaaz ep 400 - 404 lb

now, let’s see what fresh hell my idiot children have raised in the one week i left them unsupervised!

ep 400 (30.10.17)

ok you know what, i reallllllly do not care about this lameass shivika plot. i didn’t care one week ago when i was watching in real time, and now one week later, i literally couldn’t give less of a fuck. ugh. already disgruntled at having to sit through this garbage.

YOU FUCKERS SHOULD BE CONCENTRATING ON RIKARA, PAR NAHI, IDHAR BHI APNE AINVAYIII KE ISSUES. HONESTLY. THINK ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELVES FOR 4 MINUTES. AND IF YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELVES, THINK PROPERLY LIKE NORMAL MARRIED COUPLES, AND GO BANG. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

ugh ok i really don’t care about anika’s nonsense mental issues when there’s literally so many other problems. fwding this bs.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, rikara!!!!!!!!

i am honestly so emosh rn. 😭😭😭

yaaaaaaas baby girl! call him out on his bs!

ok can’t help but feel a little bad for kunal’s kamar in this scene. is it just me or is he ladkhadaayiing a bit?

UGH GTFO SHIVIKA I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU TWO RN UNLESS YOU’RE FUCKING.

anika has legittttttttttttt lost her goddamned mind. honestly, what the fuck have they done to my girl????

IS THIS HONESTLY AN ISSUE???? LIKE???? I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE TWO ASSHOLES RIGHT NOW. JUST GTFO MY SCREEN BEFORE I RAGE QUIT WATCHING THIS EP.

lmao ok kunal ki saaas phul rahi hai, someone give the poor boy a sec to catch his breath.

YAS GAURI ASKKKKKKKKKKKK HIMMMMMMMM

pffffffft, don’t even talk about shivika’s ishqbaazi rn gauri, coz... i just can’t.

“WOH DONO EK DUSRE KO NEECHA NAHI DIKHAATE KABHI.”

ok someone needs to sit gauri down and tell her all of bade bhaiyya ke puraane paap.

and rudra’s just going snip-happy on ajay’s car like a toddler in crafts class. best.

ok ruvya nonsense is what i care about least in this show so fwd fwd fwd.

this trope of shit getting stuck in each other’s jewelry and what not is literally the worst.

OK RUDRA NEEDS TO BE GIVEN ONE TIGHT SLAP. WHY THE FUCK IS BHAVYA EVEN PUTTING UP WITH THIS BS? SHE JUST NEEDS TO TELL SHIVAAY WHAT’S UP AND GTFO THE STUPID “BOND” CLAUSE.

god i’m just so mad at heterosexuality rn. all these ppl just need to leave each other alone already, coz together, they just make each other and everyone else miserable as fuck.

YAS GAURI. TEAR THAT DUPATTA. FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF THE HEGEMONIC INSTITUTION THAT IS MATRIMONY IN THE DESI SOCIETYYYYYYYYYYYY

why am i being forced to watch this utter TRASH that is this shivika plot? it’s literally worse than the ruvya plot. #bloodyUNSAHIKKABLE (something for my southie peeps there.)

never thought i’d relate SO MUCH with shivaay during an argument, but hey, here we are. matlab facepalm kar kar ke mera toh mooh hi laal ho gaya hai.

ok what even is this editing? ffs, kuch toh transition effect daalo scenes ke beech mein.

oh gauriiiiiiii, my baby girl, don’t cryyyyyyyyy. mera dillll jaltaaa haiiiiii. i can’t bear to see you like this. 😥😥😥😢😢😢

ok i can’t bear his crying either, but he deserves to cry a little, so dil pe patthar rakh ke seh loongi main.

GOD SRSLY ANIKA YOU NEED TO GROW UP.

great. usko bhi pakad ke taana and issue. shivaay just leave her be. let her go eat something and she’ll calm the fuck down in time and come find you. 🙄🙄🙄

i’m just fwding this garbage, because after EVERYTHING they went though, if she still doesn’t trust him, phir mujhe kuch nahi kehna. honestly, so done with this.

ok just in case i didn’t hate men enough in this episode, ajay’s here to MAKE SURE ki koi kasar reh toh nahi gayi. 😒😒😒

okay fuckkkkk offf shitty ajayyyyyyy, with your crappy unibrow.

OMFG HAATH LAGAAYA, SAALE KAMEENE HIMMAT KAISE HUIIIIII KAAAT KE GANDE NAALI MEIN NA PHENK DOON MAIN

ok this grownass man has been TOLD the issue to his face and he’s still like “idk why she’s mad at me?????” why are men like thisssss?????

god why won’t this shitty ass episode enddddddddddddddd??? 400th episode my ass.

waah, bhavya’s gonna solve the mysteries of the feminine mind for bhaiyya.

lol this little golu molu baby sardar. what a cutie.

this show really nails their casting of kids. highly surprising how all of them are non annoying.

YOU KNOW HOW YOU CAN BRING BACK HER KHOYA HUA CONFIDENCE? BY SEXING HER. SO PLEASE. GET TO IT. MATLAB, TUM AADMI HO YA PAJAMA?!!?!

GOD FINALLLLLLLLLLY THIS DAMN EPISODE IS FUCKING OVER. HALLELUJAH.

ep 401 (31.10.17)

aaaaaaaand golu molu is back.

shivaay, don’t you have enough issues in your life???? ek aur issue ke beech mein taang adaa rahe ho???? go talk to your stupid wife.

... is there a reason he got outta costume for this????

and god the ugly blue filter. hate. HAAAAAAAAATE. WHY DO THEY USE IT EVERY TIME THESE TWO HAVE A SCENE IN THIS LOCATION????? IT’S SO FUCKING UGLY.

man do i haaaave to watch this???? he’s just gonna be all i promise ill love you when you’re old and blah blah blah physical looks don’t matter dil matters and blah blah.

“i’m not trying, i AM cute.”

pffffffffft. ek toh overconfidence ki hadh. you’re not even that cute. doosra, bebe!Anika is this close to taking off her chandni and beating all the cute outta you.

my god i cannot be gladder than i am to be utterly single rn, coz jesus above, being in a relationship looks fucking exhausting. yahaan mujhse apne emotions aur issues jhele nahi jaate, and you have to be deal with someone elses’ neuroses too???? no thanks.

i am baby!sardar and he is me. utterly sick of these ppl and screaming “meri jaan baksh do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

called shivaay’s nonsense speech almost down to the word. not feeling particularly proud about it tho, coz that just means the writing of this show is just thaaaaat thakela.

OMG ANIKA WHICH OTHER WOMAN WOULD EVEN WANT THIS STUPID GODFORSAKEN DEMON OF A MAN?????????? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT????????? THAT LITERALLY NO OTHER WOMAN IN ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH CAN TOLERATE HIM?????

ok i swear to god rudra needs to get hit by a bus or something. #freeBhavya

WHY WON’T THIS STUPID SCENE END OMG

fwding. don’t care. gimme gauri. NOW. NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

OOOOH. WHY’S BULBUL COMING TO OMKI????? is she realising that she’d rather be married to repentant hottie shaayar rather than ugly unibrow handsy fucker???

ok. clue has been given that richa is the reason. use your goddamn brain now, omki.

god his sexyyyyy agony whisper voice. it’s doing things to meeeeeeee. 😍😍😍

haaaaaye his face. be still my beating heart.

of course. ajay is daksh 2.0, but not even half as entertaining.

i miss daksh, man. after svetlana, he’s the most lolz delivering waala villain this show has ever had.

OK WHAT EVEN IS THIS OUTFIT GAURI IS WEARING LORD ABOVE NA SAR HAI NA PAIR, JAANE KAISE TEEN CHAAR CHICHDE JOD DIYE HAI AUR USKO ��OUTFIT” BULA RAHE HO

angsty sexyyyyyyyyyyyyy eyes are being maaaaaade. 😭😭😭

and ugly ajay is noticinggg and grinding his teeth all shivaay-style.

ughhhhh ajay you’re the fucking worst. i really fucking hope the oberois go to town on you and repeatedly kick you in the nuts.

ok shivaay’s outfit has actually made me go blind and i’m now watching this episode with my mann ki aankhein. 😣😣😣

shivaay still can’t understand the concept of consent and free will. honestly, i think this idiot needs to have the point beaten into him.

aisi time par bhi isko shayari sooj rahi hai. emo!maxxxxx only my son is.

“mujhse vaada karo hum aur kuch nahi karenge.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OBEROI KIN AT ALL??????? SHAADI KHUD KI HO YA KISI AUR KI, TAMASHA TOH KARNA HI HAI!

omfgggggggg anika, COZ PYAAAR (woh bhi aisa ek number ka ghatiyaaaa “pyaar”) ISN’T EVERYTHING IN LIFE OK????

ok anika just don’t give a fuck anymoreeee.

aaaaaaaaaaaaand the wig is offfff.

why’s gauri shocked? she fully knew anika was here? they slept in the same bed???

ajay is the shivaay of bareilly. all authoritative and shouty and shiz. pity that the real shivaay is here, and about to teach him how it’s really done.

LMAO MAAAAAAAAAA IS LIKE “I DIDN’T KNOW NOTHING! MAIN TOH ALLAH MIYAAN KI GAAAIII HOON!!” 😂😂😂😂

shivaay’s having a haaaaaard time controlling himself. teeth grinding and eye rolling to the max.

lololololololol looks like ajay’s maa itself shall be cockblocking him.

“THA NAHI. HOON.”

daaaaaaaaaayum son!

LMAO SHIVAAY’S FACE LIKE “I TRIED, MAN. I TRIED.”

styyyyyylish and tadi-filled removal of pagdis and wigs.

god kunal, tumhe koi haq nahi banta ki tum itne khoobsurat lago. NOT FAIR! 😫😫😫😫

lol nakuul’s champu hair, compared to the other two’s faaaaaahbulous, totally-unaffected-by-pagdi hair.

obligatory ‘haaye my beautiful boys!’ waala shot. 😍😍😍

gauri be like WHY ARE MY SASURAAL WAALE SUCH FREAKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMG

EP 402 (01.11.17)

LMAO like whaaaaaaaat trip is ajay even on? she’s HIS wife, not yours. what “cheeeen lega” and all??? kuch bhi. chal hatt, chutiya kahinka.

can’t wait for obros to hand ajay’s ass to him. coz he’s quite honestly asking for it.

hee hee hee, i shall always get a kick outta shivaay jumping men who have like at least half a foot on him and trying to fight them. my smol fighty baby.

OMFG OMKARA KO CHAANTA. AB TOH NAHI BACHEGA TU BETA. AB TOH TICKET KATAA HI LE WAAPSI KI.

WHY’S RUDRA STOPPING SHIVAAY???? BRO, YOU’RE SUPP TO JUMP AJAY TOO???? MY GOD, NIKKAMMA KA NIKAMMA ONLY THIS IDIOT BOY IS. WHEN YOU GONNA START PULLING YOUR DAMN WEIGHT AROUND HERE, ASSHOLE???????????????

awwww man shivaay’s face is making me cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 😭😭😭😭

OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGG BULBUL CALLING OUT TO BADE BHAIYYE #MYBROTPLIVES #shivriHameshaAmarRahe

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BITCCCCCCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

ab baby bulbul ne aadesh diya hai tohhh...

lol bulbul’s bloodlust will not be satisfied with just the one obro. she wants them ALL to go to town on these bareilly bastards. and that’s allllllllll the encouragement hubs needs.

how awesome is this shot of bulbul and her three protectors tho! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

gimme some shots of anika and bhavya kicking ass too plz???

ugh no, they’re relegated to cheerleaders. how lame.

LMAO GAURI’S HAPPINESS AT THE CHAOS, FADING AWAY AT RICHA/MUKESH’S WTF FACES HAHAHAHA

shivaay’s like bro i’ve had enough of this small town bs. can we gtfo here pls?

god i realllllly hate gauri’s outfit. it’s drowninggggg her tiny frame.

“hum waapas nahi jaa sakte.”

lmao everyone’s faces like “behen itna maar dhaar karne se pehle nahi bol sakti thi???? phukat mein energy waste.”

i really love how shivaay is having waaaaaaay more of a devastated reaction than om at gauri not coming back.

protip to shivaay: just legally adopt gauri (like you did sahil), so she’ll be your sister no matter what the fuck goes on in the rikara marriage.

... we’re back in OM?

oh yes we are. unless shivaay authoritatively makes hot chocolate for ppl in others’ kitchens as well.

ok that sleeved vest looks really bad under THAT kurta, shivaay.

shivaay, ever heard of giving someone (anyone!) personal space? no? ok cool.

CAN A MAN ANGSTILY MOPE IN THE DARK ABOUT HIS WIFE MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE IN PEACE? PLEASE???!?!?!!!!!!

heavy vibes of post-ishaana kadhi-chawal scene no?

still one of my eternal fave obro scenes. (“main iss baare mein baat nahi karna chahta!” *talks about it for 2 hours*)

“hota hai.”

haan is ghar mein toh aksar hota hai, ki biwi kisi aur se shaadi karne chali jaati hai, lekin NORMAL LOGON KE SAATH aisa nahi hota.

oh boyyyyyy, shivaay ke khurafaati dimaag mein idea.

meanwhile gauri is doing full intezaam of bhaagna from there.

gosh gauri, since when are you such a terrible liar???

maa is doing everything she can to cover bitiyaa’s ass. love it.

ajayyyyy doesn’t even wanna marry her???? then why’s he so insistenttttt?????

STOP LYING TO HER SHIVAAY. FOR FUCKS SAKE HAVE YOU LEARNTTTTTTTTT NOTHINGGGGGG. GOD.

“shankar ji apni chiraiyya ka dhyaan rakhlenge.”

YUP. IN THE FORM OF BADE BHAIYAAAAAA. WHO’S FLYING OVER AS WE SPEAK TO SAVE HIS BABY BIRD.

omg how daaaaaaare he LIE TO HER FACE LIKE THIS. BITCH, ONE. YOU A HELLA SUCKY LIAR. AND TWO. SHE KNOWS YOUR DUMB ASS BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF.

“WE GOT OURSELVES A BULBUL TO KIDNAP.”

god this asshole really going to fucking kidnap gauri. srsly, it’s like he learned nothing from his first wedding.

“yaar hum raat ko ghee lene jaa rahe hai????”

LOLOLOL

fuck, my hearttttttttttt. god i love these stupidass boys so much.

ooooooooooh gauri is overhearinggggg.

YAAAAAAAAAS BULBUL YOU BEAT THE F OUTTA THIS ASSHOLE.

pffffffffft, oh nowwwww she wants to call omkiiiiiii.

of course he won’t pick up. girl, this is why you should depend on no man.

ugh the cgi for the helicopter is so terrible.

lol gauri has emptied her whole wardrobe into making escape waali rassi. she’s seen golmaal (puraana waala, not the chutiya new ones) one too many times i think.

pffffffffffft waise toh bada kidnapping ka plan bana raha tha??? karne ka time aaya toh shivaay is just standing there frozen and other two just pushed him to side and moved on.

LMAO HER INNER MONOLOGUE I LOVE GAURIIIIIIIIIII SO MUCH

LOLOLOLOL HE WAS GONNA BUST INTO A SHER AND RUDRA’S FRUSTRATION

“YEH KAISA AADMI HAI???? BHAABI MUBARAK HO, HUM AAPKO KIDNAP KARNE AAYE HAI.” LMAOOOOOOOOOO

be still my beating heart! 😍😍😍😍

omfg ommmmmmmmmm you idiot her headdddddddddd!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand great. ajay and minions are here. ugh.

obros exchanging “it’s go time!!!!!!” faces.

wow. that was hella easy.

ep 403 (02.11.17)

wow, gauri still hasn’t regained consciousness? maybe you shoulda taken her to a doctor for a ct scan or something first.

“bhaiyya, aur koi illegal kaam karna hai ya main sone jaaon?” LMAO

anika’s detective dimaag is on during half-sleep also. AMAZING.

but never fearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! billu’s here to romance it outta her. haaaaaaye.

ugh. fuck these two ridiculously attractive assholes who won’t bang and insist on killing me with sexual tension.

uh ohhhhhhhh, billu made a boo boo! wife is on to him!

omg look how tiny shrenu’s feeeeet are!

ugh my heart. can these two just be happy now... pleaseeeee. they’re the life raft i have to tie myself to now that shivika are... just... idk what.

snort. fucking idiot.

“japan mere zehen main hai kyunki it’s my favt. country. wahan ki jo mount fuji hai na, it’s a really good mountain! mujhe wahan ka khaana bhi bohut pasand hai!”

LMAO WHAT IS THIS A NIBANDH HE WROTE FOR INTERNATIONAL DAY AT SCHOOL?????

omfggggg “sabudaana vada khaaya hai tumne japan ka???” hahahahahahaha

I NEED SPACE?????? BITCH GO MAKE AN OBEROI COLONY ON MARS THEN. BADA AAYA SPACE MAANGNE WAALA.

IDGI???? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL HER GAURI’S IN THE HOUSE???? WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER?????

goddddd anika, why must you discuss all your marriage matters with some other person????

lol anika calling bhavya out on knowing rudra wasn’t home last night haha

ouffffff anika, you really need to get a hobby. like, take up watercolours. or knitting. maybe get a pet. horseriding?you need SOMETHING to distract you from the fuckery that is this house and your weirdass marriage.

LMAO RUDRA “usually kidnapping ke baad phiroti ke liye call karte hai. main karoon kya???”

“BIWI HAI MERI, GHADDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 😂😂😂😂

“we have to keep it under wraps”... MAYBE START BY CLOSING YOUR DAMN DOOR?!?!!?!?

lolololol man i’m loving the return of omRu scenes. i reallyyyyy missed these two together.

OMFG OM EK TOH SHE’S UNCONSCIOUS UPAR SE YOU’RE WRAPPING HER AND STASHING HER IN A CUPBOARD????

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the sisters are here. with their shak waali nazrein.

the face on an honest man who isn’t lying his pants off. amazing.

oh hooooooo anikaaaa, you’re so annoyinggggg when you get like this.

pfffffffft. brothers are here. ab hoga tamasha.

LMAO AND TAMASHAAA IT IS. THE WAY HE FAINTED ONTO THE BED HAHAHAHAH

ouff the amount of nautanki.

LMAO THE WAY HE GOT UP ALL FINE AND THEN REMEMBERED HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE AND FELL AGAIN LOLOLOLOL

lol for first time rudra is doing bagaavat against his eternal master bhaabi

OMFG THE WAY RUDRA JUST PICKED HIM UP AND TOOK HIM I AM DYING HAHAHAHAHA

ohhhhh boy she’s going back into om’s room.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand caught!

OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA “DEKHO KAUN AAYA HAI!!!! GAURI! AA GAYI!” HAHAHAHAHHAHHA I AM FUCKING DYING OMG HAHAHAHAHA

ok, what exactly is anika’s problem here? she also wanted gauri to come back? matlab... i really don’t get her newfangled issues these days.

kabhi nahi socha tha ki yeh din bhi dekhne padenge where i’d be on shivaay’s side during arguments. waah re prabhu, teri leela.

gauri’s having a legit “main kahaaan hoon?” moment.

great anika has taken her lecturebaaazi outside to the devars. she’s really getting on my last nerve these days.

like i get her point and all, but behen, tum apne buddhi waale dhong se kaunsa usko izzat-o-aabroo se lene gayi thi???? matlab kuchhhhh bhi.

lmao anika ki toh tain tain phisssssssssssss ho gayiiii.

and lolololol look at this idiot boy who’s not even hugging her back, he’s just like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO SOMEONE TELL ME?!?!!?!?!

lmao shivaay’s look of triumph. he’s literally likeeeee

ouff ok gauri, heavy on the mythological references this early in the morning.

lmaoooo shivaay knocking om on the back for the patti thing. matlab, when sso thinks you’re being a little extra, know you’ve gone truly overboard.

ugh ok she forgave him already??? itnaaa bhi lightly nahi jhaadna tha matter ko.

anika be like behen, y u no tell plan? ainvayiiii mein moral science lecture diye phir rahi thi.

ok i really thought the anika learns about gauri title was about the chutki secret, but siiiiiiiiigh.

aaaaaand these two are fighting.

“aise hi rehna hai???? sudharna nahi hai???”

lol 1 crore ka sawaal pooch diya tumne anikaaaa

god you two, this relationship is fucking exhausting and i’m just a passive witness to it. I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE BEING IN IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND THERE GO THE PHONES.

ep 404 (03.11.17)

servants of the house be thinking ‘itne din se kitchen achcha khaasa saaf-sutra tha. lo aa gaye phir gandh machaane.’

godddddddddddddd rudra’s besura singing.

shivaay’s being hella relatable these days.

ok i really don’t like this shakki biwi nonsense of anika’s. like, stop ruining my girl pls.

awwww my chiraiyya and her bhaujai.

um, why is this person dressed literally in pinky’s clothes???

ok i don’t caaaaaaaaare about this nonsenseeeeee. fwding.

what even is happening?? you two have been married for like 3 hours and are still fucking up on a minute by minute basis. bade aaye rudra ko marriage advice dene waale.

I HATE THIS GARBAGE TROPE OF MEN IN DRAG ON INDIAN TV. DAMN YOU KAPIL SHARMA FOR STARTING THIS NONSENSE. A PLAGUE UPON YOUR (ILLEGALLY CONSTRUCTED) HOUSE!

lol shivaay and om inspecting the custard in the bg as if it’s some huuuuge lab experiment or something.

..... god anikaaaa, you’re a fucking idiot.

lmao bhavya’s such an enabler.

ouffff gauri, not you toooooooooooo.

anika idiot, custard toh lekar bhaagti.

he’s not gonna catch her. and this is gonna create a huge big raita. *siiiiiiiiiigh*

calllled it.

bhavya, my sweet, please find yourself a better man. you deserve sooooooooooo much better.

OMFG SHIVAAY PUT THE FUCKING PLATE DOWN. FUCKING IDIOT.

GOD THIS IS THE STUPIDEST PLOT EVER ITS FUCKING 4 AM WHY AM I WATCHING THIS GARBAGE

NOWWWWWWWWW WE TALKINGGGGGG 😏😏😏😏

oooooooooooooooh the chutkiiiiiiii photooooooooooooooo.

SHE’S IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH YOU. SHE’S MISSED YOU TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABIESSSSSSS!!!! MY TWO GIRLSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I THINK OF THEM BEING SISTERS FOR REAL, MY HEART OVERFLOWS WITH FEELS

abbe, seedha seedha custard deke jaa na; yeh senti waala lecture kisko sunna hai.

that custard is fucking LIQUID. matlab, set hone tak toh sabrrr karta bro????

GOD I HATE THIS NONSENSE OF THE GIRL SAYING SOMETHING WHEN SHE MEANS SOMETHING ELSE. I KNOW WE DO THIS SHIT A LOT BUT WE REALLY GOTTA STOP. MEN DON’T UNDERSTAND IT THE WAY OTHER GIRLS DO. THEY JUST DON’T. SO STOP IT.

“400 episode ho gaye lekin anika abhi bhi yehi keh rahi hai ki SHIVAAAAY AAAP KYAAAA KAR RAHE HAI???”

i would laugh at the meta but i am too angry that you haven’t as much as made outttttttt yet. what the everlovingggg fuckkkkkkk. you ppl better bang before ep 500 so help me god. SO HELP ME GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ouffffff rudra, ever heard of personal space? you’re the worst. dafaaaa ho!

oh haaaaaaaaaai abhayyyyyy, you hotass demonchild. how you been???? actually, fuck you, where’s my girl tanya and how’s she been????

THIS IS LITERALLY DOODH AND JAM THAT HE’S FEEDING HER. LIKE.... IT’S ANNOYINGGGGG ME YOUGAIZ. IT’S ANNOYING ME SO MUCH.

dayummmm, omki making sex eyes at wife. will i get my tharak fulfilled here first????? will omki shomki and chutki maarofy baazi first?!?!?!

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! I JUST MIGHTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! 😯😯😯

OMG FUCK YOU RUDRA MAY YOU NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ORGASM IN YOUR LIFE EVER AGAIN YOU STUPID COCKBLOCKER 😡😡😡😡

lmaooooo om’s glee when rudra finally left. i love this idiot child so much.

UGH BAATEIN?!?!?!!? WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT BAATEIN?????GET BACK TO THE MAKING OUTTTTTTTTTTTT YOU STUPID NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ishqbaaz #ishqbaaaz #ib episode liveblogs #episode liveblogs

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9/8/19 8:15pm - Another Weekend Update

So! I just waited through 2 hours of queue, had some nice sush for dinner (just picked up a salmon cut from H Mart, nothing fancy lol), got ahead on my work for the night, and then the server for WoW went down so I guess it’s a sign that I should be doing an update.

I’ve had one hell of a week, actually. It’s only been 9 days but god damn do I have some story updates. First off, my car is still beautiful. And I’m starting to sit a little pretty myself, just made it to 168.8 lbs. So I’m kinda comfortably below 170 now. :3 Finally went running for the first time since wow came out the other day so hopefully I keep that up lmao. I guess I’ve been out walking around town and dancing and shit too though. I also got my hair dyed blonde again! I originally got it cut to look like Brad Pitt from Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, with just a little bit of highlighting, but Maya wanted me to go Full blonde again and I was about it. Checked with a bunch of people and they all said I should, and people are loving it lol.

The first night I had it done when I went to karaoke I got asked by a 40 year old woman if I was a model. As if he heard my ego inflating, this big hulking navy dudebro came up to me within 30 seconds of the compliment, got my attention, and asked “hey. I need to settle a bet. Are you a man or a woman?” Like jesus fucking christ lmao.

Anyway. Karaoke was fun, but there were a lot of birthday parties so it was kinda busy and I went off to Circa to hang out with Jacob. We hung out til like 230 talking about shit and then Jill had me over to crash and fuck.

Hung out with Jill a bunch this week. Accidentally made her oversleep for work one night and she didn’t even care lmao. Our sex has gotten a little better, but she’s still someone I really need to work around which is frustrating.

There was one kind of cool position I wanted to remember, she was laying flat on her belly, left leg cocked off to the side splayed out at a comfortable ~right angle. Having sex with her from behind I was in like a push up position, only using my right arm so that my left could be focused on playing with her pussy. In this position you have sooo much more access to her pussy, it’s not like doggy style where you feel like you’re really kind of stretching awkwardly to get to rub her off. Just takes a little bit more effort holding the position than doggy obviously.

Okay so backtracking to Sunday though, holy shit lol. I spent the whole weekend playing WoW. Like I think a ton on saturday, and then I woke up early and was playing on sunday and considered not even going out to boxcar because I knew maya was out of town. But then Manu hit me up and said him, pacos, christina, and vita were going so I was like oh fuckkkk yes. Went to boxcar, found out they were actually at a different bar, while I chugged down the full bottle of champagne I had bought I talked to this guy about smash bros, and then ran through the rain to go see them and it poured all over me lol. We drank a bit there for a bit, they tried to get a tattoo but couldn’t, we went back to boxcar, had More champagne, I ran into this girl Chelsea that dakota used to go out with at the frat parties who was kinda cute and we talked for a sec, and we’re sitting there playing some foosball when this other girl taps me from behind and says hey how are ya gives me a great big hug, we talk for a few seconds and she walks outside.

I turn to pacos and I’m like “I have no idea who the fuck that is.” So we wrap up our game and I tell him to come outside with me to investigate. Now, I had a pretty simple strategy. I went up to her and asked some basic questions like “hey, so how’ve ya been haven’t seen ya in a bit.” and then she was like “yeah I mean I’m fine haven’t really been doing anything.” and I’m like [shit that doesn’t give me anything to go off at all] so I follow up with “so where are ya living these days?” I don’t know why That’s where my immediate follow up was. Clearly I was predisposed to thinking I was just going to continue running into people from Chapel Hill all night. But she says to me “wait what? I live in Raleigh, we talked about all this like... last weekend.” and I’m like

oh.

shit.

fuck

me.

Because now it clicked into place that the girl standing in front of me who had gone out of her way to say hi to me was none other than MJ, the girl from the party that I was talking about. I had texted her asking her to come out to karaoke and shit but she hadn’t been able to do anything. Maybe work. Maybe not interested. But she would always respond to my texts quick and then nothing would ever work out on her end. But here she was! Staring me in the face and I didn’t even recognize her lmfao. Luckily she was like “I mean we were pretty fucked up that night, it’s fine.” but goddamn I’m an idiot. I kinda like just was facepalming too hard internally to even carry out conversation after that so we split. I tried saying hi to her later when I bummed a cig but she wasn’t very responsive. I was so frustrated with myself that I had blown it so hard that I nearly made myself sick. Or maybe that was the drinking two bottles of champagne plus beer on top without having anything to eat. Who knows, really. After hanging a while at boxcar we grabbed a hotdog and ended the night at Raleigh Times to eat a little bit before splitting. So good chilling with them. Spent some time nostalgiaing with them and telling stories to Peter who had met up with us. And had a sweet waiter who convinced me to not overeat and save my diet. Lol it was a neat day. Idk. Plus I got to go to Jill’s afterward and hook up with her, so that made up a little bit for fucking things so hard with MJ.

Honestly though, despite what the quick responses would suggest, I think she’s not really interested. I mean she definitely isn’t NOW lmfao.

Mon I was supposed to hang with Melanie but she had to flake because of her mom being in town, so I hung out and played a fuckton more wow. So I got my hair done, did karaoke, went to work, played a bunch more wow, and I’m up to lvl 30. TECHNICALLY halfway but like... effectively maybe a quarter? tops?

So this weekend was Hopscotch. Krey. AND it was the weekend that hurrican Fish$ came through. So Thursday just in case shit hit the fan work pushed all my patients to weds/fri and cancelled. Fucking sick.

I got to see my karaoke bartender Tyrone play with his band The Black Surfers that afternoon, went to another band called Illuminati Hotties and they were super cute. Was feeling pretty beat so I went home to nap and play melee and chill for a sec. Met up with Dar to have dinner with her and her friends since they were evac’d from southport. Then for the first time I got to go to Night Rider for karaoke, which I had been recommended like a dozen times but haven’t been able to go since it’s on thursdays.

It. Was. Incredible. Oh my god the vibe is like Emo Karaoke+. Like all the same crowd of non-normies that would go to emo karaoke and all the hype of people screaming for you, but none of the tackiness and forced playlist and overcrowdedness that comes with it. Not that I hate any of that about Emo Karaoke, I love it to death, but it’s amazing for that to happen more naturally. I was expecting to just go and hang out alone and do a few songs, but my new buddy Matt actually recognized me from emo karaoke when I was walking in. I stopped to talk to him and his buddies steph and brie, and ended up hanging out with them the rest of the night. These two other girls Terri and Que (I think), and this guy Pharaoh also chatted with us and it was hilarious. We were talking about weird sex shit and furries and porn and all sorts of weirdness. Terri asked me and Pharaoh if we were on Fetlife, which made me amazingly happy and no longer embarrassed that I made an account on there about a year and a half ago. She told me that I really needed to try to go to this Fetish Night at Legends, which I had actually seen a post about but wasn’t sure if I’d ever do it because it happens once a month on wednesdays. But after she told me that I got her number and then shot my coworker a text to switch days so I’d work sunday and not wednesday (which is why I’m in right now). Terri’s this beautiful short black girl with bright shiny purple hair. It’s totally gorgeous. We’ve been texting the past couple days about weird kink shit. I’m really excited to see her there on wednesday. I bought a pair of supreme cheetah print boxers to match the shirts I have, gonna cut a hole out to stick my tail out through and go in just that and ears. It should look incredible. Especially with my new hair being dirty blonde to match the cheetah print. MMMmmm i just hope everything comes in the mail on time.

Anyway, so I had a blast. They were amazed that I was 27 (most of them were 21, matt’s like 32), and I was told “I hope if I grow up to be your age I look as beautiful as you do.” mmm so kind. Actually it’s like the first time I’ve heard that and not that I was babyfaced or that i’ll look good when I’m old so I’lllll take it. Also everyone loves my hair.

AND since I was with my emo karaoke buddy and everyone was seeming like they were into a pop-punk vibe, I did some Blink182 and MCR. Finally busted out I’m Not Okay after practicing it for forever, and I fucking KILLLLLLED it. People cheered the fuck out of me afterward. I felt like I really needed to impress the gang I was with (especially Terri) so hopefully it worked lolol.

Went to Jill’s at 1am, I’m so fucking glad she’s down to chill at night after I’m done doing shit for the evening. It’s really the most low key fwb thing I’ve ever had in my life I think. So cool. Actually she made me wait to bake these brownies when I got there so I passed out lmfao. But we had sex twice on 9/6, my third favorite day of the year so nice lol. (the first being my birthday, and the second being 6/9 lol.)

Saturday I got off work, played wow at home a while, went to hopscotch at like 2. Got to see my karaoke dj Sam’s band play, he was stoked that I made it out. Hung out with brandon going around town for the day. Saturday the main event was chk chk chk, phantogram, and chvrches and I fucking died it was so good. chk chk chk was inspiring, the dude was mooooving despite being a pot bellied 46 y.o. lmao I loved him. Phantogram was gorgeous and had the best underboob I’d ever seen in my life. Chvrches played mostly new stuff and only a few of their hits, but I love them to death so it was still wonderful. And the best part was that me being me I wiggled me and brandon all the way to the front row of the show, we were dead fucking center, practically against the rails. Technically there was one person in front of me but holy shit it was fucking lit. The bass for chvrches was so loud it practically destroyed my ear drums lmao. Gotta get earplugs for next time.

and despite it being 11, that was practically just the beginning of the night lol. Brandon and I met up with Sam for this last concert, but I was pretty drunk and totally exhausted. It was in an indoor amphitheater so as soon as I got my ass in a chair I passed the fuck out for the whole show. They tell me it was incredible. Idk. The sleep was perfect.

Then we started to go to after parties. Brandon and I got a hot dog to sustain ourselves a little and walked over to this place Five somethingorothers and saw the guy from Sylvan Esso playing some club music, but decided it wasn’t our vibe. He decided to go home, and I ran off to meet up with Sam. We went to slims and I met this girl taylor, we talked about flowers or something, and then a big group of us went to this Ruby after party at a big warehouse building that they had rigged up with music equipment and had a fuckton of kegs to supply drinking for the night. I danced and drank til like 6am it was pretty righteous. Well drank til like 5, until the alcohol ran out. We also ‘broke’ into this dilapidated building to the right (it was open) and gave ourselves a little tour lmao. And it seemed like EVERYBODY that I’ve met the past couple months out at bars and stuff were there. It was so much fun seeing everyone. Alex was there, too, and MJ even showed up at 4am! This time I actually remembered her and said hi first so that was good lmao. She gave me some tequila from a flask but we didn’t really talk much. She was mostly chatting with other guys so I guess she’sssss not really into me. Shame. But whatever so it goes. I’ll just stop hitting her up and see if we keep bumping into each other enough to do something one day, probably the best call. But what was excellent was getting to hang out with Sam and his girlfriend Taylor so much last night. It was so excellent

Now Terri and I, I hope that turns into something weird and beautiful. She just told me she’s into pegging and all sorts of lewd stuff I’m so excited.

This wednesday should be a blast. Idt I have much coming up other than Chris’s wedding in a couple weeks though.

Oh yeah I managed to buy two of my 3 supreme things! I got the jacket and the shirt, just need to get the matching hat and I think I might be done with blowing money on clothes lmfaooo. I guess I need to get khakis for the wedding, and maybe a new pair of shorts or two but that won’t be too much. It feels so nice throwing money around on cool shit and going out drinking and shows and good times lmao. Life is so fucking good right now.

Hope everything keeps staying as interesting, I’ll keep ya posted.

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