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carnalpleasure · 4 years

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Part 2 of hospital!jim x reader 🏩 i didnt plan on writing a part two so lets see where this goes!!

warnings: drug mention, hospital mention, lots of angst?

Cupid & Psych

You and Jim spent the rest of the night talking. He filled you in on what life was like in Palos Verdes. It was vastly different from your life in Santa Monica, even though the cities were only 40 minutes away from each other.

You chose to live in Santa Monica though. Poor Jim never had a choice when his parents moved him and his twin sister to the most stuck up city in LA county. The locals guarded their beaches more fiercely than wolf packs guard their territory. A rabid wolf wouldn’t stand a chance against a PV soccer mom.

Santa Monica was the polar opposite. It proudly shared its shore with the misfits of Venice Beach. They had everything from ferris wheels and roller coasters to freak shows and street performers. The residents were just as unique and eccentric as the city.

Almost every building was covered in street art. Some of it legal, most of it not. But all of it was beautiful to you. That’s why you chose to run away here.

But restarting your life didn’t bring you the kind of excitement and freedom you thought it would. No matter where you moved, your demons packed their emotional baggage and came too. And that’s how you ended up in the emergency room of the UCLA Health Center.

Jim talked for hours about his adventures with the Bay Boys. They were his only escape from his hellish home life. He idolized a few of them. Not just for their surfing skills, but for their freedom and their pride.

They didn’t care when some pissed off old people started yelling at them to get off the cliffs. Or when angry locals threatened to call the cops on them for playing their music too loud. They didn’t worry, they just flipped them off and partied harder.

But the best thing about hanging with the boys? They always had something around to take the edge off. Liquor, pills, weed, it didn’t matter. He wanted to try it all. And he did. And that’s how he ended up in the emergency room of the UCLA Health Center.

You’d had plenty of your own experiences with drugs. Anyone could walk down the Venice strip and easily meet some old hippie holding shrooms, acid, oxy... whatever the vice, it could be found in Venice. So for every shameful drug induced story he shared with you, you had one to match. And he was so relieved to have someone he could relate to.

The two of you quickly came to realize how many similarities you shared. You were the same age, although he was a few months older. You both loved being in the ocean, even in the winter. You both had neurotic moms and absent dads who preferred their new families. You were both young, lost, alone, and looking for a way out.

Your family was just as dysfunctional as his. Chaos had always surrounded your home like a curse and you got away from there the first chance you got. And now you avoided them like a virus.

But Jim wasn’t so lucky. Tomorrow he would be going back home to take care of his manic depressive mother. And he’d have to put on a brave face for his sister, even though he thought she was so much stronger than he was.

“She has it hard too,” his said with a frown. “My mom treats her like shit.. because she’s young, I guess?” he shrugged, sighing softly. “I don’t know. But it’s different. My mom puts pressure on her to look nice. Yeah, that sucks. But she’s got me doing everything with her now,” he groaned.

You were both lying in your beds now. There was barely a foot of space separating the beds, but you were both lying on the very edges, as close as you could possibly get to each other.

He was lying curled up in a relaxed fetal position, his face resting comfortably on the pillow and his hands tucked under. And you were lying on your side, propped up on your elbow to get a better view of him.

You were mindlessly playing with your hair, running your hands through the length of it and curling it around your fingers. You didn’t notice yourself doing it, but he couldn’t take his eyes off you.

You could see his eyes getting sleepy now. His blinks becoming slower, more drawn out as he fought to keep them open. Neither of you wanted to fall asleep tonight. It was like an unspoken agreement. You just kept taking turns talking to try to keep each other up.

“It’s not easy being.. Mommy’s Favorite,” he said sarcastically, cringing at the name and pouting.

“It’s like a full time fucking job.. all these new responsibilities. I’m paying bills and balancing checkbooks and I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing.”

You could see him getting worked up. He was talking faster, his brows furrowed, and his bottom lip trembled. There was so much anger in his eyes but he looked like he just wanted to cry.

“I’m not ready,” his voice cracked.

Without thinking, you immediately got up from your bed and crawled into his. He slid back to make room for you, holding the lightweight blanket open until you were safely tucked away under it with him.

He pulled you into his arms from behind and you curled into his body. He broke down the instant he got his arms around you. You could hear his quiet sobs as he buried his face in your neck. You could feel his tears softly rolling down your skin.

He was holding you so tight, his whole body formed to match the curve of yours. You turned to roll over so you could face him. He quickly hid his face in your chest, and you held it close, running your fingers through his hair and up and down his neck softly.

That seemed to soothe him pretty quick. After a few minutes of lying with his head pressed to your chest, listening to your heartbeat, feeling your fingertips on his skin.. his breathing relaxed and his tears stopped.

The feeling of your fingertips brushing against his skin made him feel better than any high. You kissed the top of his head and he thought his heart was going to burst through his chest.

When he finally got all the tears out, his eyes fluttered up at you to gauge your reaction. He’d never cried in front of a girl before, besides his sister. He was basically trained to put on a happy face all the time and never show any unpleasant emotions. He almost felt mortified for letting you see him like that.

You just smiled down at him lovingly and let him wrap himself around you. His legs intertwined with yours and he rested his head on your chest. He closed his eyes, and you thought he might finally drift off to sleep. But he took a deep breath and quietly continued.

“She keeps calling me the man of the house.” He sounded so sad the way he said it. He needed to vent and you were the first person he felt comfortable enough sharing any of this with.

He couldn’t even talk like this with Medina anymore. She didn’t treat him the same anymore. She treated him more like a kid. It felt like she was always judging him now. For his choices, his habits, his friends. He always felt like he disappointed her.

“Really-“ he hesitated before finishing his thought, looking up at you nervously. You kissed the tip of his nose and that was more than enough to comfort him. “Really.. I think she’s just using me as a stand in for the husband she can’t let go of..”

He said it so quietly. There was fear in his eyes. It was the first time he’d ever admitted it to himself or to anyone. He could never say it out loud because it made him feel so guilty to think about his mom that way.

You ran your fingers lazily up and down his back, dragging your nails gently. You just wanted to take his mind off everything somehow. Give him a distraction. A different feeling to focus on.

His hospital gown was loosely tied at the top. You tugged on one of the strings until the knot unraveled and the back of his gown fell open, exposing his sun-kissed skin.

His muscles were firm and toned from all the paddling against the waves. Yet his skin was baby soft. He had freckles all across his back and shoulders. You traced your fingers over the little constellations, playing connect the dots with his beauty marks.

Your fingertips trailed lazily across his shoulders and down his spine. He just signed, easing in to the feeling of your touch. Resting his head comfortably on your breasts and nuzzling his face into them. He closed his eyes and a little yawn escaped his lips.

“Go to sleep, Jimmy,” you whispered tenderly in his ear before placing a soft kiss on his temple. He smelt like vanilla.

“I don’t wanna leave you,” he whimpered into your chest, shaking his head.

It melted your heart and then broke it. You’d been avoiding thinking about it all night, but the sky was already getting lighter out. You were going to be split up in just a few hours. As much as you wanted to hope for a happy ending, you didn’t expect this prince to come back for you.

You were still searching for something to say back when you felt his arms tighten around your waist. “Stay with me,” his voice was soft, almost fragile.

You had to say something to soothe him but you didn’t want to lie to him either. It physically hurt you to see how much he needed someone to love him. And god, you would’ve been the best at it.

If you had met each other under normal circumstances, you would’ve dated. Fallen in love. Made a family of your own together. And you’d never fuck it up. Your kids would be happy.

You may have been given a second chance at life, but you weren’t that lucky.

“I’m right here, baby. You can go to sleep, I’m right here,” you carefully assured him. You kissed the top of his head and brushed your fingers tenderly across his cheek. He nestled into your chest and your steady heartbeat slowly lulled him right to sleep.

But you didn’t dare fall asleep that night. You were in bed with an angel and you were going to cherish every last moment you had with him.

He’d spent the first few days watching you sleep, falling for you before he ever got to know you. And now here he was, spending his last few hours sleeping in your arms.

You couldn’t help but feel like Juliet, holding her late lover’s body for the last time. And you could understand now why she drove a dagger through her heart right after.

She was right. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

💕taglist: @sexwon131 @jimmason @whatcodysaid @theneverendinghunger @angelicmichael @thewarriorprincessxo (lemme know if u wanna be removed! xo)

#jim x reader #jim mason x reader #jim mason x you #the tribes of palos verdes #jim mason imagine #jim mason

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queenieloveswriting · 4 years

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Little orange bottles

A/N unedited little thing from a while ago, found loads of bits in my notes on my phone read this and though id post it let me know your thoughts ////hella old ngl sounds like shit srry ladsssss xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxTW--Abuse//Blood//Bad thoughs ig sorry not good w warnings sorry if this triggers anhyone

*beep beep beep*

Your alarm rang through the room for what seemed to be the fifth time this morning.It was now 6:30am and school began in two hours unlike the majority of students in kildare county you enjoyed school and, your (only) friend pope definitely made it worthwile.You both loved school,people like his friends jj and John b didn’t like school.

Why are you awake at 6:30 again?....right!

You look over to yourself in your mirror and glance at your schedule sticky taped to the corner;

*DAISYS SCHEDULE*

6:30-wake up

6:45-shower

7:00-get ready

7:20-read

7:50-breakfast/pillz

8:00-head to Heywards

Obeying the list, you hopped into the shower and got yourself prepared for the day, brushing your teeth washing your face and applying a light amount of makeup. A tinted moisturiser, clear mascara and brow gel, In attempt to tame your wild hair you collected into a cute messy ponytail, breaking three hair bands in the possess. Putting your glasses on you choose your outfit, due to the heat you opted for something casual, a blue denim skirt with a black crop top and a oversized blue flannel top covering just to the bottom of you skirt

You went downstairs and packed some fruit into your bag. Opting to take your breakfast as today's lunch, knowing Mrs. Heyward would invite you in for ‘leftovers’ from their breakfast. Shouting goodbye to your mum who was no doubt still in bed exhausted from her night shift.

Running out the door grabbing your phone, headphones and favourite book ‘to kill a mockingbird’. I plugged in my headphones playing my ‘reading playlist’ and read as i walked up to heywards,occasionally looking up so I don’t walk into any unwanted attention. The third time checking your surroundings you realise you made it to popes in record time, because his mom came out ushering you and him in in for ‘leftovers’ .Pope rolled his eyes sending you a silent apology. You didn’t mind though she was more a mother to you than your actual blood.

“Hey nerd "pope greeted you pushing your glasses up your nose

“Hey geek” you replied, slapping his hands away, he pulled you into a quick hug and followed h8im and his mum into the kitchen.

“Whatcha reading this time?”he asked making you laugh slightly “Harper lee my friend” you replied holding up your book as he rolled his eyes “why am I not surprised ,you know the book doesn't change right every time you read it "he asked playfully “I know pope, but it’s a classic and i don’t have enough to get a new book until my shift next week so I’m not complaining “you sassed

“Yeah you're know that I’ve said you can borrow my books anytime “he asked

“Yeah but you won’t let me write notes in the margins pope! "you explained “because what about MY notes “he exclaimed and you both erupted into laughter.God,you're such geeks you mentally sighed.Mrs.Heyward scolded at us both for arguing and gave us some pancakes and fruit.

Mr.Heward barged through the doors shouting about some ‘arrogant snotty kook man’ and turned around shily when he heard you and pope laughing. "daisy hey sweetheart you need me to save you or you alright?” he asked, referring to his wife’s overwhelming mothering. You shook your head quietly declining his offer, smiling you replied “no sir it's fine, "you laughed "Heyward you need any help with deliveries?” you asked hopeful as you needed to buy some things for school. Being a pogue you tended to have to fend yourself, plus it gave you something to do. “Sure do doll, tomorrow morning,7 sharp you’n’my boy can help out and pope make sure you ask that Maybank if he's helping out too, need to know who goes so y'all come back alive”he joked”thank you sir”you shouted as he was halfway out the door.Turning back round to pope “maybank?” you asked, raising your eyebrow hinting you had absolutely no idea who he was talking about,”my friend jj you know the blonde who gets into all the fights i told you about”he answered and you nodded,still searching for an answer ”he's coming tomorrow?” you quizzed “yeah probably,plus i think it's about time you met my friends they all think i made you up”he laughed”c'mon we've gotta eat then go”

As if on queue Mrs Heyward shouted at you from across the hall telling you to eat before it got cold.After scoffing your breakfast down,it was time to leave.After regular smothering from your second mother you left.

“Sorry about them”he mumbled

“It’s fine it’s nice having the whole parents as parents thing you know”you said .Pope knew about your mom not being around or well really a mom.He said you could come round whenever assuring his parents you were just friends,they loved you.

He nodded”you know your welcome whenever”he said and you nodded again

“Yeah but anyways how you feeling today about mrs.spiky hairs test smartass”you joked “we gon ace it y'all ready know her tests are easy”he dragged

“True I’ve got all a’s every time”you smirked

“Yeah same but to be fair even my friend John b could pass them and he didn't know that there were two different there’s until junior year so....”

You laughed “wait I though that jj was the the dumb one”you asked “there both delinquents but gotta love em.I’m brains of the operation anyways it’s my thang ”he sang causing you to laugh at the way he pinched his shirt and pingged it brushing dirt of his shoulders “you should come to the party tonight and meet them if you want?”he asked and you shook your head “i dont know pope,party’s and me aren’t really a good thing you know how my anxiety gets in groups”you said and he nodded “i know it’s fine don’t worry about it but offers there when you want you could even come out just us on the pouge if you wanted “he offered “they really wanna meet me?”you asked “well they wanna meet MY competition “he challenged “not really a competition there bud” you teased patting his shoulder “but I’ll think about it yeah?”you offered “sounds good and here we are” you turned facing each other then back at the school making your way inside.

“Hey i told jj I’d meet with him just before first lesson give him his homework see you there”you gave him a confused look “they go here?”he laughed “yeah didn’t i tell you”you shook your head no “sorry see you in 10 nerd”he waved “in 10 geek”you repli,ex

Waiting for class to start,you set up outside your classroom and put your headphones back in continuing your book. The vibration of the bell and stampedes of teenagers scurry to their first lesson , you ended up waiting for pope who practically ran down the hall and laughed when your eyes met.

You went in taking your seats next to each other this happened up until break. then lunch you’d go to all your lessons together hang out at break,being antisocial in the library, but at lunch he’s always go off,with the pogues you assume,now knowing they go to your school.At lunch you go outside and walk to the bleachers and sit reading basking in the sun.

After your last lesson with pope you both headed home together dropping him off at heywards halfway.

“Mom I’m home”you shouted slamming the door dropping the keys on the sideboard .After no reply you expected her to be at work so you got started on your homework so you could”relax” on the weekend.

It was now 6:30,and pope texted you telling you the party started at seven and the offer was still up before you could reply,you heard your door slam shut and you ran downstairs hoping you could talk to your mum,and catch up.

You see her figure reach for a cupboard that hasn’t been opened in years left. this was bad.

“Hey mama how was work”you asked with a shaky breath

She glared swigging the bottle

“You know what sweetie “she spat “Mama don’t have to go to work an more you wanna know why because i got fired from work apparently they couldn’t handle me anymore,took to many people on,so sweetie work was fucking awful OK”she shouted

“Oh mum I'm sorry what are you going to do i mean i think the heyw--“

“Oh shut up you’re so pathetic you know,I mean you inside on a Friday night? should you be out like a normal teenager huh?god”she scoffed

“What mom I-“by now half the bottle was empath,being drank with such desperation

“I’ll get another job I’ve already got the heywards they can give me more time and an I-I’ll get a side job we’ll be fine w-we have dads money too”

“Sont talk about hijm!It’s your fault your father left you fucking incompetent piece of shit you make everyone want to leave,no wonder you have no friends. I mean look at you your pathetic you know these people in your books there not real DAISY god why can’t you just be normal you drove everyone away.this is your fault”

Tears were now threatening your eyes,but as you looked into the person infront of you,you didnt see sadness,you saw anger,you saw red.

“Mum Im sorry i-ill-“

Before you could say anything she downed the rest of the bottle and threw it at you.glass smashing everywhere cutting you up.your whole arm started to bleed as you cried out in pain your mum hit you,ran out and slammed the door shut.

she hit you.hit you.you ran upstairs not bothering to protect your arm wrapping it up in an old shirt.you needed your best friend,you didn't have many friends but he was yours you knew that nothing anyone said could change your friendship

So you called him running out of your house in todays clothes covered in blood like you’d been in a fucking horror movie

“Heyyy daisy you change your mind”he answered the phone

“Hey pope I-I need some help my mom a-are you still at a-at the p-party”you stuttered

“Woah woah breathe daisy where are you I’ll come get you okay”

“I’m near the boneyard you still there I-I’m sor-ry f-for calling i didn’t kn—“

He cut you off “no shut up it’s fine where are you,are you hurt what happened?”

“My arm s-she h-hit b-bottle “

“Fuck where are you daisy “

“Oh-oh my god there’s so many people here”you were sure you were having a panic attack by now,-you could barely breathe

“Wait daisy I-i see you I’m coming okay wait there”

“O-okay”

Hanging up the phone you were now just balling your eyes out in pain and hurt. You curled up into a ball only looking up when you could hear pope shouting in the distance.

“Shit daisy”he shouted

“I’m sorry I didn’t know where to go,my mum she she my arm I- I”

Pope wasn’t unfamiliar to your panic attacks,usually being the one to calm you from them,/

“Daisy breath okay”he stroked your hair making you look into his eyes

“What happened “he asked and you showed him your arm “shit daisy that’s close to a main artery your losing loads of blood C'mon let’s get you cleaned up back at the chateau “you just nodded following him his hand holding yours hiding you from the people as you walked past. Arriving at a group of people probably his friends,the pogues,. As your vision begins to go hazy you think that maybe your mum was right you are pathetic .He was out on a Friday night ,I looked like the whole damn school was here.he has his life maybe he didn’t want to be your friend maybe he didn’t want to just hurt you .realizing you were fading out he shook you “shit daisy no no no “he cursed“John b keys I need the keys”you heard him say and they were saying something about him getting some “dude shut up this is daisy she’s hurt “you heard him say and all of them looked at you,but you couldn’t bring your eyes too meet them.Soon enough pope was dragging you away and towards a shack,the chateau.

He dragged you inside and you were sitting on the Island In the kitchen/living room,this was a home.

where was your home now?.

“Here lemme see ''he pulled your arm and started to work. It didn’t surprise you he was so good at this he was always good at first aid but this?

Lucky it wasn't on a actual artery but the blood made it look worse,acknowledging the fact you'd been so quiet,he spoke up “hey D look at me “he said pointing your chin up,looking at you straight in your eyes”what happened,when your ready”he asked.As your breathing steadied,you began to speak “my mom,she got back from work sh-she just lost her job a-and”you stuttered,pausing to collect your breathe

“hey it’s okay take your time okay”he calmed you”she hasn’t drank since..”you stopped and he looked in your eyes.Pope knew all about your dad,leaving you when you were about to go into junior year,you never knew why but one day he was their next he wasn’t,pope helped you through it,when you began to get closer.

“Your dad?”he answers for you

You nodded

“She said that it-it was my fault that he left and that she lost her job an”you gulped,recomposing yourself“How I push everyone away and that’s why I have no friends I mean let’s face it”laughiing a breathy laugh “she’s right”popes head snapped up “Daisy!you have me,D its okay I’m you best friend and you know she’s wrong okay now this is going to hurt”he assured you,before you could ask questions your arm burned up from the straight alcohol he’d put on your arm “FUCK POPE SHIT WARNING PLEASE FUCK”you shouted and he laughed,frowning when he came too “Sorry,shit this is bad daisy,like really bad,I dont know what to do,I can just wrap it up But ii think you should go to the hospital“he said and before you could fight,a deep voice filled the room.

“What the fuck is going on pope”curse from the back of the room.After observing the heaps of bloody tissues and your T-shirt laying next to you“What the fuck happened to her man,who is this?”he asked pope who looked up at you,asking the silent of’should i tell him’ you shook your head with pleading eyes

Pity took over popes vision as he answered JJ’s question“Jj this is daisy,daisy jj”he introduced you and you sighed,finally meeting the blue eyed boy with watery vision“hey,sorry we,urm, woke,you”you stuttered “oh i wasn’t sleeping princess”he winked causing you to furror your eyebrows at the boy you heard stories about ,following up to the elephant int he room.”what happened”he asked,re-observing your surroundings,eyes finally meeting your bloody arm “holy shit you gotta fucking c-cat or something”he demanded .Before you could awnser,a half naked girl stumbled out of his room,pouting

“oh you really weren’t joking when you said you weren’t asleep”you giggle then pope accidentally pressed to hard into your arm making you scream “fuck pope Jesus fucking shit”you cursed

“Fuck I’m sorry but its clean and the plasters won’t do much but I’ll wrap it up anyways i still think you might have to go to hospital”you shook your head “no no no no I can’t pope you know that”he sighed “look nerd you know where she cut look how close that is daisy okay” pointing to your bandaged arm jjs eyebrows furrowed in confusion

You tore away from his gaze to the the floors

“Hey jj,what's taking so long sweets”his guest said,in a thick country accent causing him too sigh turning around going back into his room.You don’t know what he said but five minuets later she was storming out the rusted doors,huffing and puffing, and left and he walked back to you two

“Sorry”you looked at him and his eyes softened.You were gorgeous and so innocent who would do this to you?.he asked himself”don’t be she was to Whiny anyways you saved me”you smiled ,slightly rolling your eyes at the player you'd been warned from.

“Daisy”pope snapped you back to reality “hospital?”

“Pope I can’t I-I’ll just go home and-“you babbled

”no no way you're not going back there daisy okay not if your moms like she is right now”he said under his breath in attempt to be secretive

“Your mom?”jj thought out loud and you just looked at him,mentally cursing yourself

Ignoring the blondes “you know i can’t do that pope”you mumbled looking down.

“Why”he snapped

“Because I live there pope”you paused,forgetting the blonde”you know and it’s not like this is new, you know it’ll blow over”you urged,trying to convince yourself

“And what if i doesn't daisy”he quizzed” what are you going to do then”he asked causing you to freeze and stand in silence.

You walked up and hugged him,stifling a sob.Skilfully dodging your arm,you let go of him and held his stare.

“Pope,your my best friend, okay?Well my only friend. You know that, but you gotta understand why I’ve gotta go home,Besides, she’s probably not even in,she left straight after, she’s probably out okay”you insisted”I’ve got that job with you and your dad tomorrow I’ll see you okay”you insisted

After some silence he looked at you,”I’ll drive you home okay and if she’s there your coming back to mine”he hissed”You can crash in the couch like you did last time okay “he urged”let me just go talk to jj okay”he said leaving you in the kitchen ,now only realizing the blonde had left the room.After overhearing some not-so hushed whispers,pope came out followed by a blonde who carried an angered but also slightly pained expression that left you wondering what pope said in there.Did he tell him about your mum?

After snatching the keys from the side,where you left them,he led you guys into the van.You and pope got into the back and he and just hugged you there it was nice he calms you and you calm him .“Hey pope”you break the silence“Yeah”he returned“Sorry”you apologised“Stop”he spat.

You looked up to him,eyebrows arching up in confusion“What?”you pleaded,provoking him to roll his eyes and your tendency to apologise after any slight inconvenience“Doing it”he grumbled“Doing what”you urged,oblivious to what was annoying him“You always apologise,after everything”he answered letting out a slightly breathy laugh“Sorry”you laugh realising you already subconsciously apologised.“See what I mean”he tutted“Right but thank you”you pushed“Always nerd”he promised“Geek”you sassed,falling into a comfortable silence,enjoying who you considered your family now

“Hey daisy” he broke the silence

“Hm”you humed

“Did you take them today”he asked,you sighed

“I thought I’d be okay pope,i was i promise”you pleaded

“Daisy”he sighed

“I hate them pope,they make me feel so deflated,they make me feel like a monster”you mumbled into his shoulder

“You have to take them daisy you know that”he scolded

“I’m know i Just”you paused

“I know”he cut in

“I don’t want to be a monster anymore pope”

“Your not a monster daisy,i promise,you're amazing bub”he praised

Finally pulling up to your house,met with a cleaver driveway you turned back to pope who was checking for the same thing you were “see”you deflated”i'll be fine see you in the morning,7 sharp kids” you teases in his dad's warning tone

“Daisy i still think you should come back to mine i don't think you’ll b--”

You pleaded his anxious babbling with a kiss on the cheek”see you in the morning”you demanded and he sighed

You popped your head through to the front

“Thank you for the ride jj sorry about interrupting your night” you apologised and he smiled at you”no worries princess,we oughta be seeing you in daylight too though”he asked “maybe blondie”you winked giving pope one last hug before you made your way through the door,treading carefully,just to be safe.

#jj #jj outer banks #jj imagine #jj x reader #jj maybank #outerbanks #obx #obxfic #pope heyward #jj x y/n #jj x oc #pope x yn #pope x reader #pope x oc lovetriangle?#newfic #anypotential whatsoever?#I HAVE A PT2 BC IT WAS SO FFFFFING LONG #LMK IF U WANT IT

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txthots · 4 years

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An estimation and analysis of Yeonjun’s chart

-virgo sun, scorpio moon- [See this is why it took me so long to get his chart out- Personally i think that he also exhibits some libra moon sign traits too in the way he comforts those he cares about (ex; the time beomgyu cried and he was the first one to come and comfort him). But in order for me to get his rising sign to be aquarius the time had to match up accordingly, but I also do see him having a scorio moon, too (i have a scorpio moon i feel like we share a lot of the same feelings). plus his moon is riiiggghhtt there next to libra, like one degree away so really with the time i feel like we can take both moon signs into considerations. After all, this is just an estimation!]

okay so. virgo sun males? greedy in bed. same for libra sun males, but the thing is, virgo suns tend to be more apparent about it; they’re picky as shit too. with his sun in virgo and his moon in either scorpio or libra (for the sake of convenience let’s just agree that he’s a scorpio moon) he is most likeluy a fuckboy. Probably got his feelings hurt once and just be getting his dick wet left and right, and then be like “oh that one girl in like the 8th grade really messed me up bro.” sike fkajrgsrrjkn probably not to that extent. We dont know if he really is one by just looking at his birth chart, but just know that the fuckboy potential is there! Scorpio moons are also very intense in bed, and then virgo suns are just into that kinky shit. these two together.... whew the DRIVE on this boy. wait till i get to talking about his venus.

-aquarius rising. I feel like he has an aquarius rising because of his sense of style and the way he carries himself. He’s got some kind of cocky air about him(not in a bad way, he just knows who he is and he’s confident in himself and his abilities). Not in the same way as like, say a leo rising would, but it a more subtle and less loud way. For example, in their first showcase that they were doing in america, the rest of the members were freaking out because it was one of their first real performances as a group... but all Yeonjun kept saying was “We’ll do good. Don’t worry.” cool as a cucumber. Confident. sexy.

that being said he’s confident in his abilities and he’s got this ambition that doesn’t seem to quit so. like i said his DRIVE. hes probably got stamina for DAYS, dog. But just be aware that aquariuans (or at least, most aquarians I know) have this complication with wanting to be loved and having attention/wanting a LOT of space. The ones I have experience with generally don’t like to show much affection and are very shy with it, so if you’re looking for aftercare then you’d probably have to initiate it and he’d probably be awkward with it and kwEKJFS WAIT TILL I GET TO HIS VENUS IM GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL MORE ABOUT THIS OKAY

-mercury in virgo. Oh god lol. If he don’t like something you will surely hear about it. But i don’t think he’s the type to nitpick at something youre self conscious about, just things he knows that you can easily fix within five minutes. my mom is a mercury in virgo. just know that if you do something weird in bed he will call you out on it when you two are alone and when he wants an upper hand... “you say im weird but you did that thing with your feet like 2 nights ago what the fuck was that? Yeah? That’s what i thought shut up.” Also. Puts you in your place. sharp with his words and says all the right things. Probably into dirty talk and will definitely be the one to initiate something kinky between you two. His mercury is also in the 7th house, so he definitely like’s hearing his partner’s feedback!!! Very important to him.

-Venus in leo. venus square saturn. And venus in the 7th house..... LORD. okay. SO venus in leo is definitely a great place to have your venus in!! Leo venuses can go all out for their lovers, give big and grand displays of affection, and be super attentive and genuine. definitely one of my favorite venus placements. these are the type of people who will go all out for their partner, most likely are more into giving than receiving, and just LOVE to take their time with their partner.... HOWEVER. his venus is square his saturn.......... LISTEN. lISTEn. I’ve dated a person who has their venus in leo but their venus was square saturn, just like Yeonjun’s. All i can say is that sex was amazing. Very intense, very pleasurable, it felt very genuine, and then it was kinky as all hell and the STAMINA. I was edged MULTIPLE times, and i think the longest time we went on was about 4-5 hours(you have to take into account that this person has different placements as yeonjun though, so other factors could probably come into play with that being said). felt like i was on cloud nine most of the time and i’d finish overstimulated and shaking and sweaty. BUT it was a VERY off and on thing. people with venus square saturn on their natal charts tend to be very closed off with their romantic feelings and their relationships in general. It doesn’t mean that they’re incapable of love, because they definitely are capable! it’s just that it’s very hard for them to continue expressing it without feeling uncomfortable. for example, do you guys remember that one time where txt were in new york, and all the fans crowded around them and showed them a lot of love? It seemed that all the other members were amazed by it, and of course him receiving that kind of love can give him a warm feeling but it can also make him very uncomfortable. He looked like he wanted to get out there real quick and i noticed that he wasn’t saying a lot... I felt that he liked it, but he wasnt in the condition to project how he felt! But of course our yeonjun has moments where he is very flirtatious and loyal to MOA (just as a leo venus would) and truly does love them, so that kind of balance is something that he has to work out in his saturn return.

-sag mars, mars conjunct pluto, mars in the 10th house. FIrey sex, literally. Sagittarius is a fire sign and they just know how to take charge. ho god, his future partner is going to be so lucky. takes the lead, is spontaneous, overall just sexy. He’s also so confident to begin with, and on top of that he’s got his mars conjunct pluto, so he’s intense, he’s passionate, and he’s got this inner strength (both physical and inner strength). he will break you. period. Both pluto and mars being rulers of scorpio, there’s a very scorpio feeling about his sexual nature and dare i say....... yeonjun is mf hung................... anyway his mars being in the 10th house, he knows he is passionate and he wants to be recognized for it. But he can get carried away, and he needs to work on balance (for example, he needs to show you he loves you with ways other than his dick!).

oh god, my head hurts. Okay

-jupiter in taurus in retrograde, in the 2nd house. Puts high value in money, food, and good sex. If you can’t put it down right he might just be gone lol. definitely an ass man. again, he has a tendency to take things to excess and needs to find a good balance.

-saturn in retrograde in the 3rd house in taurus. this just further perpetuates the idea that has a hard time expressing himself. don’t expect him to get all loveyy dovey lol. If he has a one night stand dont expect any kissing or cuddling after lol

-uranus in aquarius, conjunct his ascendant, in retrograde and in the first house. I think this makes him uranus dominant and aquarius dominant? wild when he dont care about people he really just dont care. Idk how else to put it. anyway for one, this makes him has a rebel attitude. He probably gets off on the fact that like, your parents or your best friend dont like him lol. has a bit of a 4d personality, and AGAIN, another aspect that further perpetuates that he cannot fully express himself. i feel so sorry for this man because i have a 3rd house stellium..... could not be me.

-jupiter and moon square neptune, neptune in retrograde, neptune in the 1st house in aquarius. highly in tune with your feelings. Perceptive and sympathetic. He knows what makes you feel good without you even having to say it. You could bring something up that you really liked that he did last night and he would be like “yeah, I noticed i should probably do that more often.” very creative in bed too.

-neptune, ascendant, and uranus sextile pluto, pluto in the 10th house, pluto in sag. a bit of a control freak lol. sex is probably a spiritual thing for him or something. definitely a dom, idk why i didnt say that earlier because so many things on this dudes chart screams dom. his power... this dude is literally so transformative. im serious. You know that song.... i feel like a whole.... brand... new.. bitch....... thats you after one night with yeonjun sfiuhewhK. also a crative genius in every aspect. incredibly ambitious

-lilith in sag, lilith in retrograde, lilith in the 10th house. Likes foreign partners. prolly got a hoe in every state, county, country, he been to ngl. his karmic duty is to have more faith in others and trust a little better. again, a bit of a rebel

#this shit is bout long as hell read at your own risk #long post #yeonjun smut #txt smut #yeonjun scenarios #astrology

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pbandjesse · 4 years

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Welp today went sideways. I slept a lot. I had a weird headache. And I didnt have work?

Apparently there was a CYBER ATTACK on all the Baltimore city and county computer systems. So they were advising the kids to not even open their computers. But of course I didnt know about that. So I woke up as normal. I slept better, but my allergies were still a mess last night. So waking up was a little hard.

I felt cute though. Put my hair up and did my makeup and felt nice. James packed me a nice lunch. And I headed out.

I had a good, and direct, drive to work. Didnt get lost at all. I got in and started cleaning up the classroom. When Clifford came in and asked if I had heard about what happened. I didnt so we talked about it and we had so little information we decided to just move forward. I worked on cleaning and then I heard my phone and Lana was calling to tell me some more. That the kids couldnt even get on where their school work was. But that we could stay open. I was like. Cool. And went about my business.

Two new girls came with their mom to check out the program. I talked to them for a while and the girls are very nice. But as we were talking we got word that we were just shutting down the PAL center for the day as a procaution. So I got to go home.

I got all my stuff and I honestly was happy for many reasons. Long holiday weekend. It would be nice to be home. And I had forgotten my sewing bag so I had been frustrated with myself anyway. So I was happy to go home.

I had grand plans of being productive. But I was not as much as I wanted. I was mostly just really tired.

James was out biking when I got back here. I put my stuff away and played a little animal crossing. I had the small heater out and sweetP was very happy about that. Eventually though I went and laid in the studio and watched videos. And I felt sort of stuck there. Just cold and tired. I had the heater on there too but I couldnt fall asleep so I couldnt even deal with my tiredness. It was frustrating.

James got back and I was probably not sure fun company. I was just so tired but it just had me crabby. I have no idea why I was feeling like that. But I tried to be pleasant. But my chest hurt and I was tired.

James told me it was okay to sleep. But that was hard to accept. When it was closer to when he was leaving for work I did go and lay in bed and I fell asleep pretty soon after he left.

I woke up feeling pretty bad a few hours later. I had a headache. I felt really weak. But I knew I had studio work to do but I also was just so sad. I drank a bunch of water and had a snack and it helped but the headache lasted hours.

I worked on some sewing. Packed up an order. Two people's orders had been delayed and so I was looking into that and was pleased to see they finally have movement and will be home soon. That made me feel a lot better.

The sun was almost completely down by 430. So then I had trouble motivating to do anything. I decided I would jsut play animal crossing and make some changes on the island.

And thats what I did. I enjoyed playing and making things. Moving things around. I played with sweetP a little. And I did some cleaning in the kitchen.

But now I am just sitting at the counter listening to a video and I think I am going to go take a bath and get in bed.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am hoping to utalize it as a cleaning and organizing day in the studio. But even if that doesnt happen it will be a nice day Im sure.

I hope it is for you all too. I hope you are staying home and staying safe. And if you do seem family its at a distance. Goodnight everyone. Take care of eachother.

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18macd-blog · 5 years

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Recently coming out (I think?)

OKAY so though the help of my sister and her outward knowledge of pretty much EVERYTHING, I have discovered in myself that I am Asexual. I have never really enjoyed participating/being physically sexual and never understood why or what that meant I was. This is how I finally realized (with information and help from others) that I am Asexual.

I have had two boyfriends (in total) who constantly pressured me constantly into having relations with them even though I told them no; that I didn’t want to or that I didnt feel like it. That’s how I lost my virginity and how I am currently pregnant with my first son, they made me feel bad that I didnt show any physical sexualness towards them and would tell me that I was cheating on them because of this. I ended up giving into the guit tripping and let them do what they wanted so I could get it over with, my recent relationship ended not only because he would practically force me to participate and reciprocate sexual activities with him; but because when I declined his advances he would get mad at me and started to become physically abusive. After some time his methods of abuse started becoming creative, like threatening me with a stun gun or a kitchen knife. I eventually moved back in with my mom a few weeks after finding out that I was pregnant with his child, later on finding out he cheated on me and still wanted to be in my life and raise our son together. When I blocked his number and told him that I never wanted to see him again, he started leaving me threatening voicemails saying that if I didnt answer “I was going to get it” and that he would take me to court and take my son away claiming that I was an unfit parent. Two months after ignoring the very empty threats, he has decided to leave me alone; but he has stopped making payments on his car because it has my name on it so it would also mess up my credit aalong with his. Unfortunately I still live in the same state and county as he does, so I still live in fear that he will show up on my door step; bringing threats and physical violence with him.

Luckily, in a few months I will be moving back to the state that I grew up in and be with both my mother and father until I am stable enough on my own with my soon-to-be new born.I didn’t abort my son because I have always wanted children of my own, and I dont believe in abortion for myself (that does not mean I am anti-abortion, I am prochoice for everyone and a firm beliver in staying out of peoples business) I love him unconditionally and I pray that I will be a good mother to him.

So, after all of the bs that has happened in the last year, I explained to my eldest sibling my delema and that I have feelings for one of our mutual friends (sort of, I didnt tell her who) then I asked if this made me bisexual and I was very confused. She reassured me that, even though I develope romantic (not sexual) feelings for people (male/female or otherwise) that I am not bisexual. She then proceeded to explain to me what asexuality is, and it made sense to me. So here I am; a 20 year old, pregnant, asexual woman, trying to adjust to life and eventually tell this lovely lady how I feel about her regardless of whether she accepts or rejects my feelings.

Thanks for letting me vent about this, it’ much easier to type or write how I feel due to me being depressed/anxious/autistic (I was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 10) so I appreciate this. <3

#asexual #coming out #aspiefemale #self love #beyourself

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letsimportanttreecollection-blog · 6 years

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I am looking for a decent health insurance plan that will not cost me and arm and a leg but will still give me good coverage. I am self employed (a cosmetologist) so obviously my company does not supply it. I want it to cover health and dental. Any suggestions?

How Do I get a reasonable car insurance price for a seventeen year old boy in the UK?

I'm sixteen at the moment, but I'm looking at insurance prices and they're ridiculous! (I got a quote of 5000 at one point :l) Have you got any tips for how to get a lower premium. Thanks. A really comprehensive list would be great because I have no idea! I have tried looking at insurance group one cars, but the prices are still really high.""

I have allstate full coverage insurance plan?

Would it cover the auto repair on my car? I curb checked bad and broke the plastic cover on the bottom that keeps water out and i bent something else under my car. Will this cover it,?""

Is a paternity test needed to get insurance from the state in michigan?

Do they make you do paternity tests to get government insurance

Why should someone who is say 40 get cheaper car insurance than a 17 year old?

If for instance they passed on the same day, why should a 17 year be categorised as less responsible than a 40 year old in terms of driving ability? Particularly when chances are due to the insurance gaps and most probably the earnings of these two hypothetical people the 40 year old would be able to afford a more powerful car...""

How much is insurance for an 18 year old?

i just turned 18 and am getting off my parents plan and getting my own insurance, i have 2 points on my license at the moment for an improper passing ticket. Thats the only ticket ive gotten. My car is a 2013 Volkswagen Jetta SEL I know i can get insurance quotes, just looking for a ballpark estimate right now....thanks!""

International students and health insurances?

hey guys. i'm an international student in US. I want to get a health insurance and i was just wondering if i can get a basic health insurance from anywhere when i'm in F-1 ? if I cannot is there any good and reliable health insurance I can consider ? any suggestions ? thank you.

How does purchasing a car that was subject to an insurance claim affect the new buyer?

I'm looking to buy a car on autotrader and to be honest I really do not know as much as I would like to about cars. Someone is selling a car for quite a bit cheaper than its worth but the reason they've given for this is that the car has been subject to an insurance claim. In what way will this affect me?

How much does car insurance cost for 18 year olds?

I am a male, i got my license around 4 monthes ago. I am 18 years old live in NY. I am planning on buying a car and i would like to know what is average price of insurance. Because my parents telling me i will be paying like 600 a months or something like that. I am planing on getting 2007 infiniti G35. I never owned a car and never was insured. So i dont have any idea about it, except friends and articles online. So if somebody can, please tell me what would e the insurance. Thanks""

How is 18yr old meant to get car insurance?

I live in London and passed my test in February. I own Renault Clio 1.2 And the cheapest quote i got so far is 305 pounds per month, which is way too much for me. What companies are cheap? What can i do to start driving legally, searching for insurance is frustrating Dont say price comparison websites they suck cheapest quote there was 8k per year""

Car Insurance without a license?

I know this is a dumb question, but I thought I would ask anyway. My 25 year old son, recently had his license suspended, due to non payment of a ticket. His car registration is coming up this month. Is there any way he can get insurance, so the registration on his car, will remain current. At least until he pays off his ticket.""

How much do you pay for your home owner's insurance?

I am doing a survey and this would really be helpful for me. Please let me know how much you pay for your home owner's insurance. If you pay monthly or yearly. The location of your home. The value of your home. How big your home is. If you have flood insurance. And what you have as your deductable.

Dallas cheapest auto insurances?

I just moved to Dallas and looking for a good auto insurance. Thanks

What does liability insurance give you?

I recently crashed my car and it is as of now being determined to be my fault. My dad pays for the insurance so I am not sure what we get under liability. We are with Farmers Insurance and I was just wondering what usually happens here. Do they give me anything if they determine I'm at fault? Does anyone have this insurance coverage with farmers? If so, can you please tell me what you get under it?""

""How much tax does the American person, family pay per week with income and sales tax?""

Feel Free to add in Cell Phone, Cable, Utility,Insurance Car and Health tax""

Motorcycle insurance Please Help?

So I'm looking into insurance for a bike I'll be getting soon and I did a estimated online check on Geico for my insurance and it says: Here is your quote for 12 months of coverage: Payments as low as $172.63 Your 12-Month policy is only $2012.00 Does that mean I pay $172.63 per month and $2012.00 a year? Sorry I'm new to this, never had to pay and figure out my own insurance! Just paid my father and he did the rest.""

How do i get insurance for a party?

having a party and venue request a certificate of insurance..i have no other insurance other than auto..how can i get a coi cheap and fast

Affordable health insurance in florida?

im 17, will be 18 in november, and i need to find health insurance. i need it to cover dental (orthodontics), prescriptions, and mental health services (depression, bipolar disorder). i am a non smoker, and i have no kids. please help!!!""

How much should I expect for car insurance in New York City?

I'm 20 a full time student and I was looking to buy a used car. I was looking for a Honda Prelude 1996-99 and I just got my license this month. Around how much would I be likely to pay for it per month? I tried getting a quote online but they haven't been able to make one for me. I'll probably get a car around September and was just wondering how much I would be paying for the insurance. Thanks!

What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?

Do men drive better then women or women better then men or even steven?

What is a good car for a 17 year old. and what is the cheapest insurance?

What's the best type of life insurance to buy?

Is term better than cash value? or vice versa?

""Obamcare, how is it enforced?""

So, the single mothers of 3 children. The one who's flipping burgers for 12,000 a year income, She's going to pay $100 a month for insurance, or she will be in violation of the law, right? When she doesn't pay the $100 a month, she's a criminal, right? We're going to fine her $2,000? If she doesn't pay the fine, we'll throw her in jail? Really? This is the plan? Does anybody else see how ridiculous this whole thing is???""

""Was in a fender bender, not my fault but I have no auto insurance...advice?""

I live in LA, California. I was hit at a gas station -- a car backed into my front left door... My car was the only one with noticeable damage. However, I have no auto insurance. I also don't have a lot of money to get either cars fixed. I don't really care to get my car fixed since it's a 92 nissan stanza about to die out on me. I just don't want to get in trouble for not having insurance...Their auto insurance has already called and sent a letter to have my insurance rep contact them to work out a deal to fix my car. They are already claiming it to be their fault.... Should I call their insurance rep and let them know that I do not want to put down a claim? Or call the guy who hit me personally and let him know I don't want to put down a claim? Could they find out that I have no insurance and figure out a way to get me in trouble? I only gave them my name, address, phone number and driver's licence number. Side note: The car is registered under my sister. Her registration and license have been suspended due to a DUI. Will they find out about this and find a way to get me/us in trouble?""

18 year old full cover insurance?

I'm 18 and I have full cover insurance on a saab 97x but I pay 200$ I wanna see what I can do to pay less

Is the renault twizy cheap for teenagers?

Is the insurance cheap Im looking around below 2000 a year

Can my health insurance company do this?

im asking this question for my mom well shes 38 and she has a stroke at 35 the stroke affected the right side of her body and now shes incapable of doing most of what she could do before she had the stroke before the stroke she worked 7 days a weekatleast 8 hours a day and my dad was also working since the stroke my dad has been the only one working and he works as many hours as he can get but he also has health issues so its hard for him now our insurance company sends us cheques but their only like 400 a month that's not even enough to buy groceries for a month and well now they are trying to cancel that cheque to can they do this? the stroke isnt her only medical problem she has been sick for 19years inlcuding kidneyfailure stroke heart failure respitoryfailure and many operations doctors have talked to the insurance company telling them my mother is in no state tohave a job but they say no she can work

How much is car insurance for a teenager under 18 years old?

If you share the car with someone, is the car insurance higher for two people instead of one? If so how much more?""

Is a paternity test needed to get insurance from the state in michigan?

Do they make you do paternity tests to get government insurance

Can you give me an estimate of how much car insurance would be.......?

lets say a guy under 30 in california with a 2002 BMW 325i sedan how much would insurance be?

Car insurance so expensive in the uk?

i am 19, i have a K reg 1.6 litre fiat tipo the car is only worth about 120. i have never had any accidents or had any tickets so why does my insurance cost 2600.""

What is a cheap auto insurance company?

Please be specific.

What health insurance can i apply for?

i'm a stay at home mom and my husband is self employed. so we can't get insurance through work. blue cross keeps denying me. what other affordable health insurance can i apply for?

What can you do if an insurance company breaks the policy terms?

My dad's insurance company has changed his policy and made a new one after he's already made 2 payments on the old one.no terms were violated by my father and he did not add anything new. they raised his price by $126.88. i looked over at the statement current and old one. they're making no sense. what can we do? and also last question can they add interest rates to payments that aren't even due yet to each month? i thought interest payments were only a requirement if the bill wasn't paid on time??

17 years old and my car insurance is way too high...?

I'm 17 years old and I live in the state of New York. A few months ago I had a little accident with my moms cars. My father said he'll buy me a car if I pay for insurance... but my insurance would be 3600 dollars per year which I won't be able to afford making minimum wage. Is there anyways I could lower the price for insurance? I really need some help thank you!

Car insurance quotes?

im just snooping around through car insurance websites figuring out which 1 is the cheapest for my ride...so imade a quote or did a quote at a car insurance website which it said how much ima pay each month but ididnt want car insurance yet..so my question is when imade that quote do ihave to each month which the website said NOW? or is it just telling when isign up for that company thats how much ima pay?...(iwant car insurance but looking for the cheapest so imade that quote in accident)

""Rear ended someone in a rental vehicle, will my premiums rise?""

I was in a rental vehicle when I tapped the car in front of me. I drove a '11 Toyota Corolla and he an old Chevy Monte Carlo. I came to a complete stop before absentmindedly loosening my foot on the brake, thus I tapped him at perhaps 2-3mph, and left a light imprint of the license plate on his red bumper. I offered to negotiate a cash payment on the spot, I was thinking of a couple hundred, but he insisted costs to be over 1,500. I did pay for damage insurance on the rental, but not liability. I'm insured with Safeco in Southern California, will this affect my rates at all? I talked to a body shop and showed them pictures of the imprint, and they figured that repairs would be around 150-300, depending. I heard that premiums won't necessarily rise unless damages are over 750? Is that true, and if so what are some tips to keep them from rising at this point? (this would be the first accident where I am held liable)""

Cheapest place to insure a peugeot 106 1.1 or a peugeot 106 quiksilver?

Im getting pissed off with the prices of inurance for my car the cheapest i can get it is 3200 fully comp (third party is more money for some reason?!?) and ive tryed all these compare websites and they are utter bollocks i might aswell not have passed my bastard driving test with these prices, i may have to wait another year for my insurance to go down. Btw im 19 year old and have been passed 4 month, can anyone help me im sick of ******* looking at insurance websites, thanks""

How much is car insurance on a 2002 mustang convertable?

Homeowners insurance in California????

I am thinking of purchasing my first home, and I was wondering about how much homeowners insurance would cost me. The home costs 200,000. Does anyone have any idea about how much that would be? I don't want to get into something I can't afford.....""

Can I drive my friends car (with his permission) on my fully comprehensive insurance?

The car is registered in my friends name but his insurance has expired and he has not renewed it as he is away on holiday and not due back for a couple of months. Will I still be covered for Third Party as I insurance on my own car?

How much will my insurance go up?

I am 16 and I just got my first speeding ticket. I have state farm and it is my first violation. I was just looking for a ballpark estimate.

How can I get my car insured?

I am the only driver within my household and am 16 i need my car insured in order to drive it and keep my job...insurance companies want to charge me 1400 A MONTH for my car due to age...is it possible to put it in someone elses name that does not live on resisdence??....any help would be great!!

I'm 18 and need auto insurance.?

I'm 18 and am about to buy a new car. I'm still under my mother's insurance, but am planning to get off of her insurance. I'll probably end up buying a clunker car that doesn't cost much. Here's my question: Do auto insurance companies allow drivers to get off their parent's insurance plans and get one of their own? My mother isn't very cooperative about paying for car insurance. I need to buy my own insurance. She WILL NOT cooperate. Will this be expensive? How would I go about changing the plan?""

How much is it for car insurance for average teenager?

""Full Time College Student, my first time shopping for health insurance?""

I will be 20 in a month. I go to school full time as well as work around 30 hrs a week. My family has been on government health care for a while, but since my father won his social security case they are canceling our coverage by the end of the month. (With no real notice) I need health insurance but I have never shopped for it before and I would like to keep my same doctor as well as I mostly just need the insurance for birth control. I don't make much money and my fiance and I are struggling to find a place to live as well as needing to buy a car and fix my car. I just really need some good advice on how to choose a good heath care provider. and I also know it will probably be rare to find any insurance that will help pay for my birth control.""

Temporary Car insurance??

Need temporary car insurance for about 3-4 weeks, our own policy runs out the middle of next month, but we have just ordered a mobility car, and it wont be here until 1st week in June. We call our current insurance company and was basically told they would charge us for 6 months and then a cancellation fee. What company offers the lowest price insurance for that short amount of time??""

Obama waives auto insurance?

""Of the different types of Life Insurance, Which is the best & why?""

Of the different types of Life Insurance, Which is the best & why?""

What's the cheapest insurance company or booker they've come across?

The cheapest iv encountered is onlyyoungdrivers.com the next being RAC insurance a few hours quid more, followed by 4youngdrivers.co.uk that is myself being under 25. Also has anyone found it cheaper to ring the direct in attempt to get cheaper quote, iv stayed away from this as of yet because of the cost of calling.""

When does insurance rates go down?

I been in an accident in 2006 and I was looking for insurance quote for less and I wanted to know if it will lower in 3-5 years. start with a clean slate. Thanks

Will my insurance go up if i get a speeding ticket?

i was going 95 im 18 ive been in two accidents its not my car and im on my parents insurance but i do not want my parents to find out i just wanna pay it and be done with it and do you know about around how much it would be?

Can I purchase two insurance policies for one vehicle?

Just wondered if anyone knew if it was possible to have 2 car insurance policies on one car? The situation is this: I share an insurance policy with my mom and its under her name. We have recently renewed our policy for a year and are getting a good rate. However, last week I have gotten a DUI and most likely will have my license suspended. In order to reinstate it I will have to file an SR22 form with an insurance company. I heard that one way to keep your current policy (if the current preferred company does not find out about your DUI violation- which they wouldnt for another year), is to buy minimum liability with one of our companies with an SR22 filing. This way DMV is satisfied because you have made your filing - and since your current company has not found out about your drunk driving offense - you are able to keep your current policy. I need to know asap if this is possible so would really appreciate any replies! Thanks""

First time car insurance?

I'm a 25yr old female looking to buy my very first car, which are any good insurancers? What should I be looking for with an insurance company? I'm based in london""

Is a paternity test needed to get insurance from the state in michigan?

Do they make you do paternity tests to get government insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-car-just-stolen-insurance-cover-george-clark/"

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sarahjane0886 · 7 years

Text

Begin Again 11

Chapter 11

"How would you two like to take Louis for a walk?" Maks asked Lottie and Maverick. The group had just finished dinner and now they were trying to leave Sharna & Noah alone.

"We see the ducks?" Lottie asked.

"I think we might, we'll have to look for them." Maks said as her face lit up.

"I come too?" Maverick asked.

"I think so, huh Lottie?"

"Yes, Mav come with us."

"What about us?" Noah asked.

"Well, how about Maks and I just take the kids?" Peta suggested.

"I, umm, might wanna talk to you for a bit." Sharna murmured softly. Noah had noticed that she was extremely quiet the entire night. He had planned on trying to talk to her as well but hadn't wanted to push the issue while everyone was around.

"Okay, you good with going with Uncle Maks and Miss Peta, Mav?" He said lifting his arm and letting it rest on Sharna's shoulders.

"Yes, I haves fun." He said coming and hugging Noah's legs, then Sharna's before heading back to Maks and Peta. "Bye daddy, Bye Sha-na."

"Bye buddy, be good." They both said laughing. They got the Lottie & Maverick's shoes on and then headed out, leaving Sharna and Noah alone.

"You okay?" Noah asked once he was certain they were alone.

"Uh huh." Sharna's head shook back and forth as pulled her knees up. He thought she was going to pull away but she tipped into his body, her knees resting on his thighs while her head was on his shoulder.

"You want to talk about it?" He said as his hand dropped to her back and rubbed it softly.

"In a minute." She said softly finally feeling a sense of calm settle over her. She suddenly knew what Peta had meant when she had said to talk to Noah. If Noah could fix it, then it would mean a lot. And this, just having him beside her, was speaking volumes to her.

"Alright." He said as she pulled her in a little closer. He found her hand and squeezed it gently. She closed her eyes and breathed him in while she tried to sort out what she needed to say and do.

"Mav, asked me to not leave him today, and I told him I wouldn't, but I realized I was lying to him. And then all of this suddenly became huge to me."

"Well was he talking about the daycare or was he talking about more?" Noah asked gently, not wanting to discount her feelings or thoughts.

"The daycare, for sure, but at the same time it just clicked for me. I love him Noah. I already love him. And I don't want to leave him. I don't want to leave you."

"Sharna.."

"I know. That's what gets me. It's huge, and it's crazy. I can't just move halfway across the county to potentially date a man that I just met a little over a week ago."

"It's definitely huge, that's for sure."

"Yeah, and then my head spins. There's so many what ifs and what abouts that are mixed in that I just don't know. I don't know what to do. I panic. I feel it coming hard. He fell asleep on me this afternoon when they took their naps. And his arms around my neck, it felt so different. It's like he was afraid to let go. And that's when it really set in. Peta told me to talk to you and see what happened, but I don't even know what to talk about Noah. I don't think this is a fix it situation. I just have to make a decision." She said as she started to pull away from him but stopped realizing she didn't want to move away from his body.

"Hey, look at me for a second. You don't have to move but, just for a minute." He coaxed her. He could feel her hesitation when she started to pull away and quite frankly he didn't want to let her go either. This conversation was filling him with such anxiety as well and having her within reach was settling.

"Better?" She said as she tried to shift up so she could see his face. She couldn't get herself situated though and squirmed around a bit.

"Wait, will you lay down with me?" Noah finally asked realizing that neither of them were comfortable. She nodded and let go of him long enough for him to lay down and then pull her with him. Peta's couch wasn't that big so their bodies were pressed together but their faces were even.

"This I can deal with. Sorry, I just feel safer with you. The pieces that are so scary, seem to be less scary." She whispered.

"So do I, so don't apologize. You were right, this conversation makes me want to vomit honestly. But I think we need to have it, sooner, rather than later." He said reaching up and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Why does it make you want to vomit?" She asked as she slithered a little closer to him if that was even possible. She suddenly needed to hear things from his perspective.

"I never thought I would be dealing with this again. When Kinsley left Maverick and I, I swore off women with the exception of those in my family. I promised that I would never let that happen again. I know I talked about this with you some already but I think you need to hear it all. Kinsley and I were together for 6 years. We met at the end of college and got together with the help of a few friends we had in common. From then on out, you might as well of called us Barbie and Ken. We were together always, we were happy, we were in love. I thought she was my forever. We got engaged on the anniversary of our 6th year. The day after was the day she found out she was pregnant. From that point on things changed, she stayed at work later, she kept her distance from me in the house, the closer she got to the end the more closed off she got. We fought some but I tried my hardest to not because I didnt want to work her up. Well one day close to the end of the pregnancy, I got a call from Kinsley's mom, she said that Kinsley had Mav and that she was signing away her rights along with giving back my engagement ring. That was basically it. She didn't clue me in, she didn't let me have my say, she just left us. It was rough. I immediately went to the hospital and the nurses let me see Mav. He was so tiny but so gorgeous that I immediately fell in love. There was no other thought than to raise him myself. Some people asked if I was going to give him up but I couldn't, I wouldn't. He's my world and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Noah..." Sharna said softly. While he had been talking, his eyes had filled with tears numerous times. He collected himself each time and continued on with explaining to her. She knew it wasn't the whole story but what he had told her was huge.

"But so, that's why, I said no. Never again. But then you came and it was like a moth to a flame almost. But I wasn't getting burnt. And I wasn't panicking. And that may have scared me even more than when I did panic. And then I would remember that you were forever away and leaving in less than 20 days. And then I would think, this is stupid, I'm putting myself at risk of getting hurt and I'm putting Mav at risk of getting hurt but something in me, my gut said, it's gonna be okay."

"And has it been?" She asked softly.

"So far. I'm scared of you leaving, I'm scared of losing this calm you bring me but at the same time, I don't want to let it go." He said. He hesitated for a second but leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers kissing her softly. She returned the kiss and then slithered down and curled into him tightly.

"I'm afraid if I move here that we're going to implode and then I'll look like an idiot." She said into his chest.

"You're not going to look like an idiot. I can't promise that this will be all peaches and cream but I can promise that I won't just give up."

"I wouldn't either. And I wouldn't even think of this if I wasn't serious about it mainly because Maverick is already involved so I wouldn't want to hurt him. I mean I don't want to hurt you either but at the same time, we're adults. We make our own decisions, he's just gonna get caught in the fall if that occurs."

"I agree. And honestly, he's part of why I hesitated so much at first, even those first few days. I knew I liked you. I knew I felt something different that I didn't feel with Kinsley, it was more real, more honest, more concrete. But at the same time, I had Maverick, so I really had to weigh my thoughts and feelings when it came to you both. But there was this nagging feeling in the back of my head that said, it'll be alright."

"I feel that way too. I think my own insecurities take over though and out ride that voice that says this is what is right. Noah, if you'd have asked me a year ago, heck a month ago, if I was ready to settle down with someone who had a kid, I would have laughed in your face. I was always on the go. Traveling for work, going out, having a good time, whatever you thought of I probably did it. I didn't date anyone for long periods of time, no I wasn't out dating everyone but I was careful, I had more friends than I had boyfriends. I kept things platonic because I wasn't ready but just like you said, when I met you, there was something that said, maybe this is what you want. And then more time I spend with you and Maverick and everyone else, the more this feels better than the life I was living. This, right here, this is the life I want. I want to put Maverick to bed and then curl up with you. I want adventures to consist of going to the aquarium or movies. I want to see Maverick enjoy new things. I want to explore things with us as a couple. I want that. Originally I was afraid I wanted something new but yesterday, I had a friend call and ask if I wanted to go down to Puerto Rico when I came back. She had to go for a long weekend and she wanted a buddy to go with her. My immediate thought wasn't my old instinct to say yes, my immediate thought was well if I do go back, I need to be able to talk to Noah and Maverick. I need to figure things out so I can't go. I don't want to go."

"I don't want you to stop living your life for us." Noah said his mind immediately spinning to Kinsley.

"I'm not. I've had more than enough opportunities to live my life. I've had adventures on my own, now I want someone and a family to share them with. I want to share them with you." She said softly.

"So what comes next?" Noah asked accepting her answer. The way that she said it and looked at him at the same time, he knew she was serious. He knew she had thought it through and wasn't just looking for the next big adventure.

"I figure out if I can relocate. Well not if, but I figure out how. There's a lot of stuff that would need to be done. My job, my apartment, my puppies. This isn't going to be quick Noah." She said as she could feel her head begin to spin on a new handful of things.

"I know, but as long as we have something to look forward to, we can do it. There's Facetime, and calls and texting."

"You're sure, this is what you want?" She asked suddenly needed to hear him say that he wanted it. They had talked around it and about it but neither had straightforward said, I want this.

"I want this. I'm sure. Even if it explodes, I want this. We'll never know how great it could be if we don't try. And you want this too right?" He asked as his fingers ran through her hair.

"More than anything, I want this." She said as she finally pulled away and shimmied up the sofa to look at him, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his as they kissed for quite sometime. There were interrupted but two little voices however.

"Ewwwww! Kissing!" Maverick and Lottie shrieked from the doorway as Maks and Peta looked on.

"What do you mean ewww? We kiss you guys!" Noah said, sitting him and Sharna up and moving to grab the two. he began to tickle them relentlessly as they shrieked in amusement. Peta smiled before looking over at Sharna to see how she was doing.

"You okay?" She mouthed silently. Sharna's head nodded in response before she joined in on the ticklefest too.

*That's a wrap! Next part will be more Chmergs, promise! Enjoy peeps, don't forget to like it up and let me know what you think. This one was a bit shorter but the next part will be a continuation of the night and I kinda want to keep the couples separate. Thanks for all your love and support, love you guys! xoxox

#Maksim Chmerkovskiy #peta murgatroyd #peta and sharna #maks and peta #Noah Galloway #noah and sharna #chmergatroyd #shway #chmergatroyd fanfiction #shway fanfiction #Lottie #begin again #alternate universe #Chattanooga #sarahs stories #chmergs #chmergatroyd fanfics

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bnymedic · 5 years

Text

“If its a good idea today, it will be a good idea next week”. Those words will stick with me forever. Spoken by a Cheektowaga Police officer– one of the best, most humble men I have ever met. He spoke those words to an Iraq war veteran who had just been tasered in an attempt to prevent him from jumping stomach first on a large wooden spike. I think of this man every time I have thoughts of suicide, and remember the phrase “If its a good idea today, it will be a good idea next week”. This veteran was on a humvee patrol during the first few years of the occupation. It was his turn to drive, but he was not feeling good that day and swapped spots with another soldier. Their humvee hit a roadside IED, killing everyone in their patrol except him. The driver was killed instantly, and he left a wife and 2 kids behind. To this day, he blames himself for those deaths. All of his friends dead because he “didnt feel good”. Why wasnt he killed? “Why not me?”. I think about him, I think about MY issues, and say to myself, “If its a good idea today, it will be a good idea next week”. It never is a good idea next week. Unfortunately I have had to use those words often with my patients, as mental health issues are all too common. I like to think that I can help these people, even though they don’t always want it or sometimes even believe they need it. Unfortunately I am not always lucky enough to whisper those words. On December 24th, 2016, a mother and father made plans and left their 16 year old daughter home alone. It was a cold Christmas eve with ice covering the sidewalks. Your eyes hurt from the cold breeze. The loud crunch of every step you make echoing off the walls. For Phyllis, the lonely 16 year old abandoned by her family on Christmas eve, it would be a night where many lives were changed. It would be a night I will never forget. “Car 18, head to *address*, we have a caller on the line who states the 16 year old is live on facebook actively attempting to hang herself”. Its midnight and the plows have not been out. Without being dispatched, we head to the address fearing the worst. Its difficult to believe that we made it there in one piece– in hindsight the speeds we reached for those road conditions would have been considered criminal had something bad happened. We arrived on scene at the same time as the first patrol car to find the address in question was a multi-unit apartment building. Car 18 starts kicking down doors to find startled residents with no idea who we could be talking about. Minutes go by. Was this a fake 911 call? Are we at the wrong address? Just as we run out of options, my partner noticed a somewhat hidden stairwell in one of the foyers that lead to an upstairs apartment. The door goes flying across the kitchen in an awe-inspiring explosion of wood shards. There’s no one home. No one is answering our calls. Why are all of the lights on? Just then we see the glow of a laptop screen sitting on a chair in the back bedroom. It was then we found Phyllis, live streaming her suicide on facebook. We found out later on that Phyllis had attempted to call her best friend who was unavailable due to being with family. She then facebook live chatted the boyfriend of her best friend, and hung herself in the closet with a belt as he pleaded with her not to do it. As if a sign from god himself, the belt that she used broke. “That’s a sign Phyllis. You aren’t meant to die tonight. Please don’t do it.” he begged. Phyllis walked to the other room, found a better belt and did it again. The belt did not break this time. Upon our arrival, Phyllis was not breathing and did not have a pulse. After a very short amount of time, I was able to secure an airway and get Phyllis’ heart beating again. Great news. She was not down for long so she should have a good outcome. She can get the help she needs. Today’s story has a good ending. Or so I believed. A few hours later I arrived at my fathers house for Christmas festivities. I was not greeted with a “Merry Christmas”. I was greeted with “are you ok?”. I could barely hold back the tears. I have been able to handle everything thrown at me in the past 8 years as a paramedic. Not this. Not a teenager left home alone on Christmas. What if I was able to tell her “If its a good idea today, it will be a good idea next week?”. What if. On January 15th, 2017, I met with her parents at Childrens Hospital to check and see how Phyllis was doing. Embraced in the arms of a crying mother, I learned that Phyllis had severe brain swelling after the incident and was now brain dead. 9 months later, tears run down my face as I type this story. Nothing in your life can prepare you for the tears of grieving mother who has to make the decision to pull the plug. Hearing stories from mom and dad about what a wonderful daughter they had. Hearing that her parents had no idea about her pain until being told by her friends in the hospital. Hearing the story about their decision to donate Phyllis’ organs to save other lives. Seeing her obituary in the newspaper. It was very difficult not to be angry at mom and dad for leaving her alone. I asked the question and they had no idea that Phyllis felt this way. Phyllis never told anyone how she felt. No one could help. When things feel like they cant get any worse and you want to die. When you can no longer take the pain. When its time to give up. Ask for help. It may be scary. It may be embarrassing. You might not even want it. What if the help WORKS? What if the help is what you need? It cant make things worse, right? “If its a good idea today, it will be a good idea next week.” I wish I could have told her this. Over 39,518 people died by suicide in 2011 in the United States. In general, it is the 10th leading cause of death for Americans. Even more alarming, it is the 3rd leading cause of death for those between the ages of 15 and 24. It is estimated that for every completed suicide, there are approximately 25 attempts made. The most important thing to know about suicide is that it is preventable. Warning signs include talking about suicide, helplessness and hopelessness, dramatic mood changes, and withdrawal from normal activities. If you, or someone you know, are suicidal please call Erie County Crisis Services at 716-834-3131 or the Kids Helpline at 716-834-1144. Rest in Peace Phyllis. You are loved more than you will ever know.

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dclas · 7 years

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let’s do this again shalla we??? this is dallas my complete dweeb nd is just so awkward god im excited to get into her she’s brand new yall inspirRED me. like this if i can message you for plots.

ok so she’s inspired a lot of amy santiago bc uh that’s just whom i happen 2 b fictionally in love with while i’m making this , not bg wise tho

she grew up on a vegetable farm!!!!! a little corn shucker!!! her parents are both very liberal and almost like... hippies i wanna say ( so like idk where she got her personality from but like...... wrow) well her mom was tbh her dad decided to join the military l8tr in life i’d hardly call that a hippie

n e ways they were always very carefree like almost too carefree.... she could’ve drank 5 bottles of tequila at 10 yrs old nd almost died nd they’d have been like “all part of growing up we’re proud of u!!!!”

she was kinda sheltered at the same time tho.... like home schooled wt a couple other kids from her road nd never rly went out of her county other than for shopping stuff

it gave her this feAR of like the outside world not rly fear but like tbh she’s very intimidated by it all even tho at the same time she loves it bc like it’s a big crowd no one knows u no one knows ur loony mum even tho that’s also why she hates it

she’s kinda like a modern day fake hippie like she’s all abt peace and love nd does yoga to balance her shakras but that like.... makes her feel like her life is nice n balanced she’s been like that since bein a baby

when she was 14 she got diagnosed wt lukemia ST SHE NEVER TALKS ABT EVER nd it was like rly weird nd bad for her not bc of the actual cancer but like her parents reacted so weird like they got kinda distant nd did not handle it well at all nd were like emotionally absent nd it made them fight all the time and yeah vry sad /: bc she could sense they were sad nd rly blamed herself /:

she got 2 remission eventually but in the hospital she made a rly goo d friend who didn’t make it nd it was hr first real experience with death nd he was the same age as her nd it rly just shook her up nd definitely didnt help wt her anxiety like she def doesnt live life fully n e more

@ 16 after they were sure she was in remission her dad joined the military after leaving or however the american version works nd they had 2 move , nd then move again nd dallas kinda rly developed a taste for that like she likes the idea of being new and fresh w/o ppl looking at her

her mom didn’t take it well nd she became distant like permanently nd kinda checked out on dallas nd she would apologize after disappearing 4 days nd it’d be ok n then she would go do it again nd have no money nd be in rough shape acting like a total scrub asking HER for money nd yeaaaaa

it was just really disappointing to her ////: nd it rly shook dallas up bc like she was older then not like when her mom got distant when she was a kid and got mad at her nd there ws a big giant fight b4 dallas left for college nd her nd her mom didn’t speak for a long time

n e ways dallas came for computer nerd stuff bc that kid she met in the hospital got her into it nd she’s loved it every since like trynna be mr.robot over here for real even tho like,,,, she rly wants to be a game developer like she’s so fckn nerdy about that

she’s so like,,,,, structured nd type a partially bc she had no structure like any of her life hfjdkghjthrgj so she hates feeling lost or out of control nd she just rly needs.... a break.... she needs 2 have fun and not care for once

she’s so competitive too /: it’s like she feels like she has something to prove like bc she doesn’t want 2 end up like her mom she’s so proud it’s literally so annoying /::::

she’s so scared of like,,, everything i mean i wouldnt say like scared but she used 2 be so sheltered that it’s like..... nerve racking she’s a v flighty and anxious person but like on the inside most of the time ghfjkhgjkfh

this girl is so kind like........ she doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body she’s nice just bc it’s the right thing 2 do nd like if ur mean.... she might cry but she won’t even be mean to u i don’t think she knows how 2 be

it’s kinda hard to tell sometimes tho like her personality is kinda like the resting bitch face thing bc she’s so awkward nd quiet tht ppl probs think like “wow she’s rly stuck up ,, thinks she’s better than everyone else” but they’re all bein fooled

she’s like,,,, a gaming goddess like legit ppl know abt her she’s a staple in the community

she found out like a few months ago the lukemia relapsed nd she’s like /: kind of detached from the fact that like... wrow that’s bad nd it’s like bad timing too bc her is coming back into her life atm nd she doesn’t want her 2 find out abt it and get weird again nd like,,,, she doesn’t rly wanna tell anybody ya /:

her mom is already letting her down tho /: she doesn’t want to see it but /: she’s still up 2 the same tricks /:

dallas is already becoming like,,, successful :))) so proud of my baby she’s already put some apps out nd worked under some p big deals so like :))) im so proud of her

she’S SO NERDY oh my god even her humor is like lame.... but like in the hip dad joke lame way it’s actually rly cute

is a sensitive baby

eyah she’s adorable im v excited for her she just needs 2 loosen up ... a lot ... she needs 2 be cared abt

plots mayb???

anything here

bff someone tht she’s comfortable with nd actually 100% herself around it’d be so cute i love friendships i love brotps she probs make s them a lot of food and sends them the freshest memes nd like... beautiful

unexpected friends like not 2 be stereotypical but someone legit cold nd who doesn’t give a heck abt anything nd is kinda not the nicest like wrow,,,, i love opposites

hmmmm give me someone who she can crush on .... she a big lesbean .... she’s so awkward 2 ,,, wow

calling other nerds?????? who else is she gon gush too

ex gfs

someone who has a lil crush on her wuld be fun too bc she’s so oblivious she’d never notice nt even if they said anything 2 her

jake to her amy like not the romantic way but the shit head odd friendship kinda way ykkkkkkkkkkkkk

definitely someone who tries to gt her to be wild and drags her 2 random things

older brother/sister protective kinda thing bc she def needs that person in her life for her sanity

ok elt’s plotttttt

#( ooc )#bernard:intro #PLEASE PLOT WT HER #there r so many selena's out there i trie d 2 do a unique take HOPE IT WRKED

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we-do-recover-together-blog · 7 years

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so its been a slow start on here but i havent had this tumblr for more then 24 hours still trying to figure out how to use this thing but i figured id tell a little bit about my story, when i was young i used to live with my mom my grandma aunt and uncle, mom was 17 when she had me and well at the least to say she wasnt quiet ready to be a mother then. she was always out with friends and partying and would leave me wit my aunt or uncle. i was very close with my aunt if anything she was the closest thing to a mother figure i had in my life i felt safe with her, the only person i ever felt safe with was her and that still stands to this day shes the only person in the world that never turned her back on me and never gave up on me she always took me out before valentines day to get gifts for my little crushes threw out school i could tell her things i couldnt even tell a best friend or counselor she was my safe haven. But sometimes my uncle would baby sit me and he would do inappropriate things to me and touch me and i was so young and i didnt know it wasnt okay i didnt know wwhat it was at all really until i got older and i was ashamed of it and felt like less of a man and really it took till i was about 21 years old to finally come out and say it of course i was only strong enough to say it to the only person i trusted to keep it a secret i was and still am a little bit ashamed of it and its something i need to work on but back to my story eventually with my mom struggling with addiction herself she would get kicked out of my grandmas sometimes so she would grab me put me in the car and we would just drive around all night i cant tell you how many countless nights i spent in the back of her car sleeping or at some strangers house., well eventually i cant remember how old i was exactly but i guess she just got tired of being the part time mom she was and i remember her bringing me to visit my dad who lived with my other grandma grandpa my uncle and my 2 aunts well we walked in the door and everyone was there in the living room just talking but as soon as they saw us it was like the world stopped and they just stared at us well turns out my mother was going on a vacation for a week with her new boyfriend well it turned out that week turned into weeks and longer with out calls or anything she just took off eventually one day we got a call and its the first time i can remember talking to her since she left and she was in jail she came back into my life sorta kinda just in and out until i was in 7th grade thats when i started t get out of control and full of anger and hate and was very rebellious the typical im gonna do what i want when i want how i was and no one can tell me shit about it getting suspended from school getting into fights you name it that was me i was a jerk of a brother a mean son and a worst nightmare for people i didnt like i wasnt scared of anything weather it was fighting jail or cops for years my mother was asking me to give her another chance and move in with her she was never around or home and she didnt really care what i did so i moved in with my mom and from there i fell into a group of older kids that liked to do drugs and fight and pretty much do any and everything that you shouldnt do and to me it was fun i felt cool and ilike doing whatever i wanted if i got arrested my mom wasnt home to ground me or atleast enforce it so i just continued to do whatever i wanted countless arrests and suspensions from school and the drinking and drugging i didnt realize till my most recent years the older kids were just using me because i wasnt really scared to do or say anything perfect little side kick well eventually my mother found a bowl i hadfor getting high and she kicked me out so i moved back to my home town but with my grandparents they are the sweetest souls i have ever met but they were old school and were not very strict so smoking pot and drinking where completely normal especially in my family i first overdosed when i was 15 years old i took about 70 something sleeping pills that the kids in my town started taking because they were untraceable on a drug and blood test like i said that was just my first overdose and yes it terrified my family but didnt faze me one bit not even a year later when i was 16 i overdosed on pcp started hanging out in a bad neighborhood and doing just about any and every drug available even after watching one of my bestfriends drop to the ground from the pcp just minutes before i did i woke up in a hospital bed still unfazed by it honestly i think a part of my thought it was “cool” and at that point i thought well i over dosed twice and still woke up so nothing can touch me at that point i was so wrapped up in drugs that my emotions were non existing and my thought process was just fuck it.the drinking and drugging just got worse the partying continued the arrests never ended cant think of a night that didnt end in running from the cops when i was 17 i first tried heroin i had a friend that sold it and we would go drink at his house and i found some in the bathroom so i tried it and well at the least to say that was the day my life completely i slowly continued to use it but not to the point where i needed it atleast i thought that shortly after i found out that 2 of my cousins were using heroin to of course i didnt tell them i was until we ended up running into eachother in the ghetto so we all started getting high together hiding in abandon buildings and shooting up heroin at this point smoking crack and shooting up cocaine too, two days in a row i overdoses on heroin and xanax the people i was with ran my pockets when my breathing stopped and threw me on the side of the roadluckly i was found by someone and brought to a hospital still wasnt fazed when i woke up and went home went to sleep woke up the next day and got high again in all of these events i was also in and out of the county jail like it was my second home eventually my family got on my ass so i went to a rehab for 28 days just to get them off my back, first day home i told my grandpa i was going to see a few friends and went right back to getting high the same day i got out of rehab. i started hanging out with this girl i met in rehab second time we hangout i end up overdosing again on heroin and alcohol thats when i found out i had hep C but im sure if my track record doesnt prov to be the same that didnt faze me either right back to using eventually i get arrested and charged with 3rd degree burglary get locked up in the county for two months and it violates my juvenile probation and i get sent to a juvenile prison, i stay there for about 18 months while im there my cousins are hanging out and one of them over doses and my cousin and our “friend” freak out instead of calling an ambulance they clean her up and tuck her under a blanket in the hotel room they were in and they leave her a few days later room service finds the body i find out about a week later and well i think the fact of being in jail and not seeing it with my own eyes just made it hard to believe that the cousin that used to babysit me that grew up with me was gone forever and i never got to say goodbye..and it doesnt stop there maybe two weeks later i get a letter and find out my other cousin killed herself. she just couldnt handle the shame she felt for leaving my one cousin in that hotel room .not gonna really get into details about how i felt after losing both of them because its almost impossible to describe.about a year later i finally get out and i move in with my aunt her fiance and my baby cousin i was on parole so i had expectations to meet like outpatient counseling so about 2 months after being out im doing good staying clean doing good with outpatient and my curfew well i wake up the day after my 21 birthday i wake up to a text that my bestfriend of 18 years is dead and that pretty much destroyed me and broke me down i started drinking and skipping outpatient or showing up drunk i shut down and pushed myself into the dark again i was trying to get parole to violate me and send me back i just gave up but it never happened and the day i got off i moved out of my aunts and with my friend in philly well that was all just party party party. at the time i was talking to a girl who i thought at the time was my life partner and all that bullshit but i was just blinded by after 2 years of nothing but jail and parole rules she was just the first female who gave me her attention well while i was in philly we were all drinking and me and her broke up i was drunk and emotional and i well i went into the bathroom and i took 3 90 count scripts of depression medicine and i took them all i took 270 pills give or take a few and tried to kill myself 10 minutes after i took them i blacked out well all i can say is i must have a a seriously bad ass guardian angel or i have a very big and meaningful purpose in life because i woke up the next day weak unable to move and throwing up non stop all the pills i took. it took me about three days to get back to me then i went back to jersey with my uncle not long after that i get hooked back on heroin and cocaine again and my life just well i can say i never been so low the insanity of it all is just well insane everyday i woke up and NEEDED drugs in one day i would think a million times how much happier i would be if i just ended the suffering if i just drove the car into the wall as fast as i could and just end the suffering, my mind was such a dark scary place i wouldnt wish it on anyone and if i didnt always want to get high just one more time if i didnt want to feel that rush one more time im sure i probably would have killed myself, one day i was getting high with my gf at the time and i was just i dont really know what happened but its like time froze and i saw who i was when i got out of jail and how bad things got and how far out there i was so i reached out to the only person i knew i could trust and that would help me my aunt and the next day she checked me into a hospital and i detoxed there while i was there my aunt and my mom found me a halfway house to move into..out of state, they didnt want me to end up like my cousins did the found me a sobor living home and a plane ticket and they went above and beyond to save me. so i moved and i was terrified that id fail i was in the halfway house for about 3 1/2 months to 4 and i turned into a completely different person that i never thought i could be i was happy and going to meetings and sharing and i met a girl and i fell head over heals for her the second i laid eyes on her shes been strong for me stood by my side and made me believe i could be more then a guy working as a cook and just barly making it that i can have that nice house and i can g=have a nice car or go back to school that i can build a family of my own it took me a while to realize or should i say believe in myself to be honest i didnt start fully believe in myself until 2 months ago since me and her have been together i have stolen money from her to get high on multiple occasions i have lied to her and flipped her brand new mustang going to get high i have snuck out and left her alone in bed to go get high she bought me a plane ticket to go home on my birthday for a week to see my family and my first day home i overdosed on heroin i have left her on three occasions because i broke the law and went to jail the first time was for 2 months for aggravated assault and she answered every call wrote me letters came to every court date she visited me and she stayed by my side the whole time.not even 5 days after i got out i stole her car and money to get high even after everything she did for me a month later i got arrested again and charged wit domestic assault for splashing her with water yea i know it sounds stupid but i was piss drunk and got out of control well she bailed me out of jail my drinking continued to get worse and i came home one night from work very very drunk and i snapped and i actually put my hands on her i hit the woman that did nothing but stand by my side and believe in me and give me chance after chance she carried my child the first time i went to jail and we lost it from all the stress she was under from supporting her child and paying rent all on her own a few months after she bailed me out we got pregnant again our own little baby boy Carter well our little baby boy wasnt so healthy and was in pain so we had to make the decision to abort it was what we thought best for him while she was pregnant i went behind her back and was talking to a female that i shouldnt have been talking to and said things i shouldnt have said while being in a relationship with this wonderful woman who has done nothing but fight for me and stand by my side well on july 27th i went back to jail again and stayed for about 2 months for violating my probation still this woman stood by my side answered every call and again came to court this was when i finally realized i was still being defeated by my addiction and while in jail i decided im not gonna be that person i was because i have a choice it is my life and i wont be weak anymore i started going the the steps again for real this time and taking every step to better myself and well guess who bailed me out of jail again? you guessed it she did and now i have been home for 6 days and i have trouble sleeping so i decided to make this blog to share my story help others like me most importantly help myself and not i am sitting in bed next to my girlfriend and my only thoughts are why didnt i take advantage of this time with her and also how easy recovery can be if you really try i mean we tried pretty hard to get high or stay high just half of that effort will save your life its saving mine usually nights like this id be searching the house for a car key that my gf has to hide from me so i dont steel her car but today all i care about is spending and enjoying every moment with this woman and what would be my next step that would be best for my family and me its gonna be a long road and a hard fight but i know i can do it just like i know you can do it stay strong everyone never give up and remember you are worth it and you are worth saving

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growingrootsinco · 5 years

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My Timeline

This exercise is designed to help pick the patterns in my behavior. Along the way I'm sure I will find other uses for it. First, a few reminders. DO NOT go back and edit. DO NOT beat around the bush. Accuracy is key.

2011

Working retail. In a relationship that is mind numbing. Brand new at this and dont have much to report. Not even sure what to write here.

2012

Fighting feelings of guilt. He's finally been put behind bars. I think I may need counseling.

Feeling guilty. Wanna kill myself.

2013

Fired from job. On unemployment. Still in BS relationship. Not sure this timeline is panning out to be what I thought it would.

New a new start. Signed up for college classes. Dental Assisting. Not something I would have thought I would choose. Worth a try.

School is turning out to be fun. Trouble paying but dad is helping. Gave me a car to get into San Antonio. I can feel the stress subsiding. Step grandfather passed. No emotion for someone who was such a prick towards the end of his life.

Christmas was a disaster. So many snobby family members.

2014

Ok. I think I'm getting this timeline thing. Hard to not go back and change it though.

Enjoying school. Especially clinicals. Will start my hours soon the graduate.

Relationship is okay now that he stays gone all week. I think I hate him.

Hours in my clinicals are rough with no pay. Got a job at a little cafe about 20 hours a week. Love my boss and his wife.

Clinicals FINALLY done. Job searching time.

OMFG clinical hours do not count as experience therefore no experience equals no job. wtf.

FML still no fucking chances anywhere. Suicidal thoughts.

Mom flipped the fuck out as usual. Took the boyfriends side because she was wrong. Would have rather him have gone. Getting tired of both of them anyway.

Time to hold it down on my own. His health is bad. Which makes me feel bad for wanting him gone. I think I have checked out emotionally. Or never checked in.

2015

Finally got my foot in the door at an office. Found someone I can learn everything from. She's awesome. The doctor is a douche but I can deal. Besides what man isnt a douche?

Theres something wrong with this office. So many people being secretive and my office manager is a total bitch. A "mean girl".

Gotta stop reading over this everytime I come in here. I want to change it!

Ok my 6 months is up for experience, time to look for another office. My mentor flaked and left. On my own.

Put in 2 week notice only to have my pay raised and promoted to office manager. Do I really want to sit behind a desk instead of working on patients?

Still in dead end relationship. Still hate him. Suicidal thoughts.

I think I'm getting this timeline down. Starting to see my patterns already. Even if I dont write them in here. How to fix them?

Easy holidays without family. Spent them with friends in Bastrop. Relief!

2015

Still working in the same office for more pay. Found out why everyone is so secretive. Doctor is a mess. In debt up to his eyeballs, no longer getting paid on time, misappropriated funds on a regular basis, has no business sense what so ever, deals with shady people, I doubt his abilities due to MANY pissed off patients, holy shit, the list goes on. Back to the drawing board for a new job.

2 surgeries almost back to back. I'm falling apart. Suicidal thoughts.

Well fuck. Jobs are everywhere but pay is a bitch. Nothing matches it. Cant quit here if I cant sustain my living situation.

BS relationship has finally taken its toll. Verdict is in. I hate his guts. Tired of doing everything myself. Spends all his time on the computer chating with girls. What do I care? Maybe one of them will take him in. Why do I want to strangle him in his sleep?

2016

Got a new house but still not happy.

Tried out a new office but it's not the same. I think I got use to the chaos. Alot of blood sweat and tears have gone into that office. Went back.

Doctor has hired an overpriced nanny. This bitch is gonna drive me to drinking. I've been replaced. Good thing or bad thing?

Starting to understand my emotions. Realizing my family is the root of my issues in life. Now I'm becoming content with no contact. Just have to figure out this BS relationship.

On my birthday, I think I found my SM. Talking on a regular basis. And finally figured out what to do about BS relationship.

2017

Missed a bunch of time on this so I'm writing it in 2019 and trying to write as I would have in that time and frame of mind. Using things from other posts to help write this.

New home again but cant afford it without help. Took on roommate. She's awesome.

Hanging with Boozefighters next door is a really good time.

Fired from job for insubordination. What a bitch!

Depression setting in. I want out of this town. Suicidal thoughts.

Dad is helping me move back to hometown and can already tell I was right about my family. My daughter is pissed!

Trying to find comfort in family but wanting more than anything for SM to give in.

First job back in retail because dental pay is BS.

Things with SM are rocky. A couple of jail stays and lots of drinking. Having trouble keeping my head on straight and leaning back on emotions instead of thinking logical.

SM busted! Now what? Something always sets me back. Wtf? What is so wrong with my choices in life?

Got a place together. More drinking...... and some fighting......... and court........

Realized I went off the reservation due to my feelings for him. Haven't thought logical in some time.

These feelings have to be real. Cant fight them. But emotions are unreliable.

More turmoil with family. Trying to reconcile with mother. Didnt got well. Fuck it!

2018

Lost car at Christmas and finding it hard to hold onto my job. Feeling depressed again. Suicidal thoughts.

Only thing I'm sure of are my feelings for SM. He's got me and now I'm scared of what I may do for him.

Job is suffering so transfer and begin walking to work.

Realizing the hold SM has on me and it's dangerous. Is it healthy to be this attached? Should I distance myself? HELL NO

Bought a new car. But now I need a new job and SM is leaving me to serve time.

Moved in with grandmother when SM goes into serve time. I'm slipping again. More depression and anxieties are back.

New job is overnights and not sleeping like I need to. I want him home! Job isnt going well from depression and 2 hospital visits for sleep deprivation and malnutrition. Job is too demanding and anger creeping up.

Transfer to different department hoping it helps but instead get hours cut.

Weekend drives to unit for visits that never seem to last long enough. Cant touch him like I need to, like i want to.

Dont want to do a fucking thing if he cant be with me. Cancelled on so many things with friends. Is this what my life has come to?

Searching for a new job. Wtf is wrong with this town. Part time only and everyone is short staffed.

Cant pay bills at my grandmothers. 500 dollar electric bill. Fuck this!

I'm cracking..... had an emotional breakdown and unsure of how to hold myself together.

Hanging with people I know I shouldnt and offered a chance at Colorado. Do I take it?

Got another part time overnight. What the hell am I doing killing myself like this? Fuck this town and fuck this whole goddamn state!

Took the Colorado offer but I know he will have issues with it. How to handle it? It's where he wants to be but doubt we would make it there by his hand.

Packed up, missed a visit. He's going to go ape shit! Daughter is more excited then I am because I cried all the way here. Why does it feel wrong at the same time?

Well I was right. He went ape shit.

Colorado is a culture shock but I can feel myself calming. Driving the amish all over is peaceful and informative. But hurting for money. Place we are staying in is run down and not fit for habiting.

SM sent a letter. If I dont go back, its over. I guess it's over. I dont have the money to go back. Hold onto hope that he will be here when he gets out anyway.

Got a job with the county that's going well. I now understand what I have to do to complete my main goal. (Main goal is in another post.)

Opened the guitar up to stare at it and cry all day. Wth............

Christmas was rough. Still on the fence about my decision to come here even though most of the time I'm at peace with the views here.

2019

Person I came with is expressing feelings towards me. Not feeling it.

Working 2 part time jobs so I can stop driving the amish but tired of the travel with one job.

Got a place in Romeo. Its decent but I've been ripped off. This asshole needs to be shot. Speaking of being shot. I'm being threatened and I have 2 gunshots in my house.

Rightful owner let me buy it from her. Ok I can do this. Now to do something about the asshole who ripped me off. The fucker lives right across the street.

Against my better judgement J moves in. I think I need protection. Bought a gun. Bad idea. J is a felon. He's not here alot but appearance is what matters. Wtf. I guess I'm back to using people again.

Turns out we make a good team. Accomplishing quite a bit to achieve my main goal. I still dont feel like he does but I'm getting shit done.

Bought a trailer house, 2 parcels of land, a boat, 2 cars and a camper trailer. Way to go!!!

What the hell did I just do? I just made things way more complicated and started something I have no intentions of finishing. Heart breaking again.

Fighting, fighting, fighting. I finally understand how SM felt about me in the beginning. Suicidal thoughts.

My daughter is settling in nicely. Started a three some relationship and taking after my mother. Lol Now she's met a guy and starting to find herself.

My daughter turned 18! Holy shit I'm old............

SM is in a halfway house......... he didnt sound happy and I think my heart is breaking again. J is flipping out on me again over SM. Pressure is on. Dont slip again. Stay focused.

Yay! for phone time! Again confirming my emotions are real this time.

My daughter graduated. Yup, I'm still old. And getting older by the minute.

Went to Midland to clear up the storage unit. Fuck! It's all gone. Destroyed! All his stuff is gone. I've gotta replace it all.

Ok home ownership sucks! Everything breaks and has to be fixed........ twice!

Cleared my head. For once........

Divorce is final. 16 years and now back in contact with my son. Feeling complete.

Job is going great.

In negotiations on another home and a restaurant.

Joined 2 community boards and Search & Rescue.

Talk therapy helped me come to a conclusion. Time to let go of SM.

Married J. Did I do whats best for my future?

This time around, marriage has proved to be easier than the first. Im all in but fearful of not knowing what the future holds.

Notes

Fill in above the notes as you go. Remember. Dont edit or erase. Dont fucking touch it other than adding. Calling yourself out only works when the truth is written down. Yes they will change consistently. Find your patterns. Truth means sensitive information so dont let anyone read it unless you are ready for anger. If you happen to mentor someone in the future, that might not be a good idea! And pay attention during depression spells. Ever emotion counts.

Had the best holidays ever. Real trees are a mess though.

2020

Finally got full time with benefits at the County

Set up my retirement and 401. This is what I have wanted my entire life. And life insurance!

Pandemic approaching.

Lockdown! Sent home for 2 months with pay.

Took up arts and crafts and gardening to pass the time.

Stimulus check. Bought my daughter a car.

Lots of facetime with my son!

Back to work. So many restrictions.

COVID cases are declining.

County in trouble financially. How much longer will I have a job?