#and not in a dgaf way he clearly gives a lot of fucks he's just resigned and accepts that there's nothing he can do about it

[forcebookish]

it hurts me deeply that gun has never been in the closet but is still ashamed of being gay like his mom did such a number on him that he internalizes everything, assumes he makes everyone uncomfortable or they regard him with disgust, and just lets his employees make homophobic comments and baselessly accuse him of sexual harassment

[narwhalandchill]

(soo ignition teaser thoughts ig)

hmmmm im ngl the trailer itself as a like prelude to what is coming in 5.0 intrigue and plot wise is like. compared to the region teasers that came before w lazzo and overture. its just. its kinda bad im sorry KWKJKWDJKWDJK like okay cool seeing the new cast and production value is high as always (+ music) but its such a middling teaser for the story itself?? it feels like a powerpoint presentation of the cast more than anything narratively coherent with an inherent draw and mystery

like theres mavuika speaking to the flame thingy (xbalanque that u? "one entombed in the primal fire" perhaps????) with some intrigue i suppose as well as her brief thing w capitano. ororon also appearing to be working together or aligned with capitano given theyre standing together there which could make for an interesting plot thread but beyond that its very.... eh. its not giving us a lot to grip onto ya know???? and thats rly a shame especially since i also felt that way abt the teaser in the 4.8 livestream. i wish we got more

and sure theres a tournament wahoo but like. its really Not helping to hype up that thing when half the introduced cast isnt being like "OMG the tournament!!!!1!1 this is HUGE!!!1" (or even. "oh no this is BAD!!!1" to set up basic conflict. like why would they dread it?) but instead just. "oh right... the tournament 🙄🙄" like who thought that was a good idea 😭😭 if the PEOPLE of natlan dgaf abt the big plot event happening then how am i as the viewer supposed to feel majorly invested in it . wow theyre tossing a ball around . wow nobody wants it guess ur tournament is having a bit of a PR issue in the making mavuika lmao

anyway i wouldnt even call myself a true capitano glazer despite being a fatuiHQ enjoyer on the side but like. that hmph still carried welcome capHIMpeaktano truly o7 JWDJWDJKDWJK also did yall see the. anemo-ish turquoise flare when mavuika is confronting (?) him? wonder if thats a thing with her flames or is it implying cap as anemo or sth.... i think itd fit him decent enough but ya. looking forward to HIM for sure

(+ congrats to him for losing the goofy timbs from arles animated short lmao like his design looks so fucking sick now)

character design wise uhhhh. well theres the obvious huge fucking issue here and while id say that hoyo p much already showed their true colors on the matter with sumeru that doesnt rly. make it any less disappointing and egregious wrt all the cultures and peoples theyre So willing to gather inspiration from in all possible aspects Other than the diversity of the people themselves. like its just... bad and such a shame but also not very surprising unfortunately.

(and really it just. looks especially bad given they clearly Can put melanin on people its just... enemy mobs only.)

beyond that i kind of dont have anyone that super catches my eye rn??? mainly because . well leaks moment eek but its basically official info now so basically. xilonens existence as a geo and a 5* (which like . u dont need leaks to guess she will be im sorry jdwjdw) was leaked a bit ago as well as the patch she should appear meaning. im actually in chiori rerun savings mode since its very high chance that she will be back w xilonen if anyone. so thats my plan for now kjdwjkdwjkdwjk

in terms of the actual cast i do like kinich and ororons designs v much, the design motifs of the latter especially are interesting bc those eye-like patterns are almost giving quantum symbol (= black hole imagery) to me???? and thats V interesting especially if hes actually working w capitano and the fatui. now him being a cat boy or whatever animals ears those turn out to be isnt like sth thats huge for Me personally but i do think hes valid and also W for anyone whos into that, congrats guys im happy for u ! but like fr itd be such an insane twist if hoyos Finally introducing the void quantum abyss whatever element w him (and maybe cap too.) bc that symbol Rly is looking Curious. or then hes just electro lol. for kinich its like. yeah fair he might be xiao-tighnari-gaming from minecraft ill admit that but. i do like the color scheme and his outfit a lot JKWJKDJKDWJKD so like i forgive it

w the girlies i overall find them all like. quite nice but so far without any personality + lore known its hard to settle my complete thoughts on them just yet. tho citlali being pink is super refreshing for genshin since we do have a shocking absence of it so like shes definitely one im drawn to, chasca looks interesting and like she could play a bigger part plot wise (maybe?) so that might be neat. both her and citlali being cryo is kinda surprising?? but cool. maybe ill get to unbench my shenhe and play some cryo teams again lmao freeze has been dead in abyss for so long now....

xilonen again w the kemomimi isnt sth im particularly into or not into but she looks cool, depending on personality and how her kit synergies turn out (+ assuming the chiori rerun, the fate of those pulls too), i might try for her as well? theres an Energy to her i like it. if she has proper Attitude and flair thats gonna be a massive bonus for me

mualani i think is rather bland to me, sth about her outfit and design just doesnt click for me even if the shark thing from the teaser before is neat and everything. the chibis are never sth im actively drawn to but like both do look okay, im kinda hoping kachina could be a lynette moment for 5.x and end up a free 4* since her exploration roomba looks p fun

anyway then theres. mavuika and i. well at least the design wasnt. That concept art one (ThoseWhoKnow...) . so instant massive W improvement solely on that basis holy fucking shit but ehhhhh im sorry i still dont know how to feel abt the very modern like. biker bodysuit thingy. im not a huge fan of the bodysuit type designs anyway so its not that surprising but still. her eyes + hair is absolutely stunning tho like not a question at all.

tbh in a way i kinda feel like having too many Thoughts on her design is kinda just unnecessary bc like. shes the archon. of Course the kit is going to be insane so i will get her anyway (UNLESS a pyro onfielder JKWJKJKWJKWJKWFKJ like god please no). and in terms of like is her design and energy from what this vid is giving us good enough that i wont like. Actively resent having to get her for meta and strong teams??? Absolutely. so in that sense ig its all cool lmao

but yeah. idk i just think as a teaser for the upcoming story its rly a shame how weak this felt for me???? like sure overture ended up being a bit of a misleading teaser since it gave the impression of arle as this mastermind of the fontaine AQ which didnt rly happen but it still served as a source of hype and intrigue. and yes lazzo is sth that can Never rly be beat in terms of how out of nowhere it was and how fucking insane the whole harbinger reveal went (+ elogia cinerosa existing) for lore and long term hype but its just. unfortunately those 2 are the regional teasers this natlan one is supposedly meant to parallel and it just didnt deliver anything comparable to those for me

like still looking forward to natlan and seeing the rest of its cast (like im fairly convinced the flame thingy might be xbalanque and hes gonna be a big deal ultimately or sth) and where it goes and all its environments but this trailer didnt rly. grip me the way i wouldve expected it to. which is unfortunate kdjkdwjkwjkdwj but yea thats all

[zumpietoo]

Umm....Okayyy...

Why do you object to this and why is it “worse” than MLK (both instances were horrifying...)? It actually sorta explains why they chose 1955 versus 1953.....

Is it because, LBR, you hate black people being focused on? And I do say this while thinking it IS kinda icky that Slizzy’s involved, but there it is....

No, it isn’t kettle-bullshit, but thanks for confirming yourself as a Cole-hater, too...

And, LBR, what Racist is REALLY pressed about here? That it turns out Tabi’s gonna have moar screen time. (and, again, stuff about black people).

OML....yes, Racist, reddit is such a reliable source....especially when it’s all, already been entirely disproven. Plus Cole and PP haven’t had many scenes together (and lots of those were split screen!) for over 2 years, dumbasses....and it’s WHY they cast a new LI for Jughead.....

Also, he’s the fucking NARRATOR and remains their biggest draw....so, nooo....but there wasn’t gonna be moar jizzy again, anyway....

Additionally,

A) cuz, yeah, Izzy, you’re ALWAYS right.....

B) he also is entitled, by contract and his civil rights to a harassment-free workplace, so, again, your argument is shit.

I mean, see above, you ignorant piece of trash. Plus, again, you’ve been wrong about everything now for over two seasons.

Ummm....dude, bullshit, you’ve been insisting you’d be getting everything you ever wanted, wrapped in a big fat bow, for the past two seasons. Additionally, OFC, why do you even want this? You hate Cole and have opted to make that crystal clear (and then some), so why do you want this? You don’t even like Jughead.

Is it cuz black lady and you hate Barfies? Cuz that’s all I’ve got....

I’m also laughing because while, yes, it IS possible there’s jizzy endgame in the last 2 minutes of the show, essentially offscreen, to boot....even that is looking increasingly unlike. And time was, you insisted that would be the worst ever.

Now sad crumbs at the end would be enough? Ummm....okayyyy....

Oh good lord.....while, yes, it’s clearly show promo (cuz duh), no it wasn’t “Cole ignoring his Pee Arr team”.....cuz why TF would he? Especially to do something kinda uncomfortable for himself, that he didn’t have to do?

OML.....where to even fucking start?

Ummm.....no, the writers don’t care what the actors want, now or ever....they also DGAF what YOU want....

Meanwhile, ummm....if the network didn’t want a full final season, they wouldn’t have ordered one. From BERLANTI....who would be the entity negotiating this (and seemed fine with their much moar popular show, The Flash, getting a much shorter final season)....and literally, again, every show on the CW is looking at the ax soon enough, because the entire network is essentially no moar/soon to be no moar....

And no, while the network retains final approval, it does NOT work that way, either....plus, again, there are other networks, etc....this anon’s ignorance is just utterly and spectacularly breathtaking.

Additionally, again.....Netflix pays for the show, they’re fine with it, etc....

And I thought RAS was gonna save the show from Babyman???

Errmm.....I think, again, the cast cares about working in a hostile environment/getting to sexually harass their targets. A LOT....and maybe peeps think that cuz it’s what the cast endlessly pretends?

Again....nope. Paley was fine, had the same attendance (a bit better, in fact) than other shows. Also, if it’s such lost shit, why are YOU here talking about it?

I always love your endless doom and gloom scenarios, as well....plus, my recent (and still not quite resolved) provider switching gives me some further insight, here:

It’s actually kinda a big pain in the ass now to watch the CW live....

USGOTV (or USTVNOW, whichever one is free) has shut down.....the other one wants $29 per month to have access to the CW’s live east coast stream...

Nobody wants to pay for DirecTV (stream) or Hughesnet, YoutubeTV (which I’ll be cancelling post free trial, for this express reason) doesn’t have agreements in all (or many) markets for live CW---so you’re stuck simply streaming the app the next day....which you can do for free, anyway. But doesn’t track for live ratings.

I’ll personally be switching to HuluLive, but they REALLY limit how many screens and locations you can watch from....

The other option I could gather is going waaayyyyy old skool and putting in an antenna (who knew?), but not really so wanting to do so...

(she has many other posts, but I shall pause with this for the moment....)

[getosgf]

Attractive things they do

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━

Fandom: jujutsu kaisen

Characters: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, sukuna, toji fushiguro

Things I headcanon they do that are hot

Tw: suggestive content

An: I’m having so much jjk brainrot, enjoy this piece of garbage💀

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━

Gojo Satoru

Likes to kiss you when you least expect it

Like you’ll be talking on the phone with your mom and he just *mwa* on the lips gives you hickeys

Teases you non.stop.

Calls you pet names in private and in public that he knows make you blush, he dgaf if others can hear it or find it weird

Always leans closer or tilts his head in your direction when you talk to him

Says it’s because he can’t hear you but that’s a fucking lie, he likes the way you get a little flustered because of it

When you’re sitting on the couch, his arm always rests on the back of the couch, behind your neck

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━

Geto Suguru

THAT DEEP, HUSKY MORNING VOICE AWOOGA

He already has such a nice and satisfying voice on a daily basis, but imagine it when he just wakes up from a peaceful slumber😩😩

His sweats always hang just a little under his hips, leaving a bit of skin visible

Smacks your butt whenever he gets the chance and winks at you after impact yes that’s hot to me stfu

Pulls your hair behind your ears or ties it in a pony tail (if you have long hair) when it gets in the way

Eye contact.

Like he just stares at you for prolonged periods of time

Always wears a smile or a sort of grin on his face when staring

Not to tease you or anything, but just because looking at you makes him smile :)

Hums and moans softly when you play with his long, luscious locks

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━

Nanami Kento

Puts his hand on your waist or back

Like when you’re in the way, he’ll hold you by your waist while passing through SOMEONE DO THIS TO ME PLS

Also whispers “excuse me” in your ear in a really low voice so only you can hear it

Instinctively guides you through busy crowds by putting his hand on the small of your back, to keep you in sight

He cooks and bakes. That’s it, that’s the hottest thing this man can do.

No but seriously, imagine Nanami in an APRON!!!

Or like when he’s mixing all the ingredients in a bowl, he has his sleeves rolled up and those arm muscles are activated and clearly visible HELLO SAILOR

When driving, definitely puts his hand on the back of your seat as he looks back while going in reverse ⭕️💢⭕️💢

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━

Sukuna

This mf

When you’re having a conversation, he randomly holds your chin between his fingers and makes you look up at him

Does this because he knows it makes you a flustered mess

Just likes to make you feel small and helpless

Listen, he’s mean so in short, expect a lot of degrading and yes it’s hot coming from sukuna

Walks around shirtless most of the time

Talks passionately about his opinions and beliefs they may be a little controversial but it’s okay because again, it’s sukuna

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━

Toji Fushiguro

After a shower, he’s never completely dry

He’d have his towel clinging to his hips, wet hair and water droplets spread across his skin

Runs his hands through his hair and flexes his arms ‘accidentally’ in the proces he totally knows what he’s doing

Lots of licking his lips.

You’re telling him a funny story about what happened today and he just starts licking his lips excessively

You’re just standing there like🧍‍♀️

Hugs you from behind and whispers dirty things in your ear 😏

When he reaches for something high up on a shelf or whatever, his shirt lifts a bit and you can see his abs and his lil happy trail and omfg

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━

. · ✵ ✷ 　　 　　　 . . 　　. + *· 　 . 　　✵ 　　　 ✧　　 　* · 　 　　 ˚ ˚ . 　 * 　　 . ˚ 　　· 　 + · 　　　　 ✫ 　 . ✫ 　 · *　　 ⊹ 　 . · · + 　　　 · 　　 ⋆ · 　. ˚ 　 ·　 ✧ · . 　 　 ⊹ 　　 ˚ 　 * 　　 　　　 * 　 　 · .　　　 ✦ ·. 　 · 　 ⋆ * ˚ ✫ ⊹ 　　　 ˚ 　 · . . · ✵ 　　 　　　 . ⊹ ˚ 　　 　　 　✵ 　 ✧ * * . 　　 .   ⋆           . ˚ * . ˚ 　 · . · · . . ˚ 　 ·　 · 　　 * . . * ⊹

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 6

It has taken me a while to do this. But I write this shit down so....

I wonder if they got busy in that carriage.

Probably.

Ok Clyvedon! Y'all are definitely not in the square anymore.

Aww Mrs. Colson. You're so proper and ready to show off and he's just trying to break that back in.

Gahh that place.

Ok Simon, go off!

Aw we're really just diverting there.

You really don't want to know Hyacinth.

Eloise is not here for the shits.

Oh, Colin. You fucking idiot. The one time Violet and Anthony are in agreement.

Colin you happy, dumb boy.

Brothels though?

Colin has a point. He is older than Daphne.

To be fair Colin and Daphne are both getting okie doked.

You horny mfs. I love it.

"You are already Duchess of all this." Yes please.

Ooooh that flip and the way he patted at her hips. They are too good.

Aw Daphne is trying to be proper and Simon is like "fuck all that."

Your Graces.

Jeffries dgaf about this damn honeymoon.

Oh Daphne, she just wants to show you around without YOUR commentary.

Redecorating? Didn't she say she did a bunch of improvements?

"A perfect Duchess." Ok you shady bitch.

Yeah that nursery shit is coming back.

All dressed up and no where to go.

"You're so far away." He wants his WIFE!

They have no chill and the staff don't know how to react.

Mrs. Colson absolutely does not approve.

Girl he hates that place. Gut it!

This man and the way he takes off gloves. Good fucking gawd.

Their poor staff.

I swear I swear I swear that man man is living, breathing, dripping seduction.

Well shit take it outside then.

Queue the rain.

Yes. Remove the wet clothes. ALLUM!!!!!

He is the king of playin with it. And I fucking love it.

"Do you like this?" Fuck yes! Talk. To. Me.

I wonder how many orgasms this man has caused.

"Tell me what you want." Keep talking, yes.

And by "you" she meant that dick.

"Does that hurt?" No boo, it sure doesn't.

But your ignorance on the subject does. Him taking advantage of your ignorance also does.

I love love love Simon but I'm having a harder time with his evasion now that they're actively getting busy.

She's bound to figure it out though, right?

Ahh they're still hot af to me.

Oh shit they're still going.

That picnic. Omfg. Flippin that ass like.....

Head on a ladder?!?!?! Get you some Daphne. Oh sweet Simon....

Sex on a ladder too.

They're really like "fuck the staff." And the staff is like "haha, keep fuckin."

Don't go there Mrs. Colson....

Welp.

That shoe dropping. Gawd yes.

Daphne really went from knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to getting that Grade A like a beast.

Though Simon is obviously a withholder, the man is sexually attentive and attuned to her physical desires. He comes to please, indeed.

That tangle.

Ok, girl tell Rose your business.

I do love Rose. I want more of her.

"His physical inability to have children." Oh the sting of lies and ignorance.

"Difficult entanglement." Go head Rose.

Oh Colin, you fucked up lil buddy.

Hyacinth is a treasure.

I like that Violet does try to be supportive.

Penelope and her passive aggressive ass is saucy.

She's mad af.

The sisters do crack me up.

Penelope is dripping salt.

Oh Eloise. They really are putting you out there homie.

Awkward Marina.

Portia is mf hyped! She is all about that social climbing.

But she's gotta negotiate the bag before she pop tags on new Dresses.

Aw shit Marina caught Delacroix. Her French accent was a bit cartoonish.

Curious Eloise.

Oh children.

Oh poor oblivious Daphne. Simon, help your wife.

A fucking tie. Bitch they gotta kill them to eat them. Simon, again, help your wife. Tell your wife THINGS!

Y'all fucking dumb off all that sex and living in la la land apparently.

Well somebody liked his evil ass daddy.

Diplomatic Daphne.

Another sprinkle of kids....and pregnancy too.

I saw that longing look.

Aww she's worried he's hurt by being around children. If only you knew.

"I thought only of you." Really, mf?! As you keep up this lie.

She's so optimistic about her circumstances.

He's lucky he's beautiful. And that I pity him a bit. Because he's a motherfucker.

How did you get so lucky? Well you're lying to your wife and she doesn't know how sperm works sooooooo there's that.

What a beautiful expansive scene though.

Penelope is PISSED.

No belly yet.

Passive. Aggressive.

Oh this dinner is so awkward.

Portia you are not subtle at all.

Anthony is still CLEARLY not here for this engagement.

Oh is she about to snitch.

Well shit. She's kind of snitching.

Aww. He thinks your such a good friend, but hes got this.

You're sneaky and he's stupid.

Marina is hustling.

Eloping is always a grand idea. Colin you fucking dummy.

Marina is so relieved.

Aw where's Simon?

Sad Daphne is not a good look.

Grouchy workaholic Simon is not a good look either....but he does have a lot of responsibility in all fairness.

Mrs. Colson is so sick of Daphne.

Homegirl is just trying to find her footing. At least Rose stays supportive.

Have I said how much I love Rose?

Damn no one wants to talk to Daphne.

Aw she's befriended the pregnant lady with the screaming toddler.

I'm glad someone is finally explaining shit to Daphne. She can't grow if she don't know.

Too busy for his wife now......I'm not liking this vibe.

Aw she's trying to hash it out with Mrs. Colson.

Oooh she's looking for guidance about Simon.

He really hasn't told her shit about his life.

The power dynamic of their relationship is frustrating.

All this talk of being barren.....

She misses Simon's mama.

Strong seed got her thinking!

Penelope you sneaky, lying ass....what are you up to?

She has hope yet again. She about to expose her mother.

She ain't giving up.

Marina is damned and determined to marry Colin.

Oh Marina went there THERE.

You're gonna see your wife, Your Fucking Grace.

Stressy Simon is such a grouch.....but I'm not judging. I'm the same way.

But when they're affectionate, fuck.

He really just tossed her up on that desk like "Fuck work."

And he proceeded to fuckin work that mf thang.

How many people in the world are fucking like crazy right now because their significant others stay turned on by this show.

If I were not single, I would most definitely be pouncing on my partner ALL. THE. TIME.

Ok. Back to the show.

That was a mighty aggressive pull-out.

Relatable Simon. I too like foods after fucks.

Oh shit Daphne connecting the dots.

Rose out here saving the day like usual.

Well at least Daphne knows where babies come from now.

Everything is about to shatter, amrite?

She can't even hear a word he says. She feels so betrayed.

The piglet.

Dat ass though. And those shoulders.

Yeah that's gonna be a no tonight.

Oooh and now he wakes up without her.

She's fucking heartbroken.

The man she loves took away her choice with his deceit.

He allowed her to believe he was unable, not unwilling.

Would she have married him if he told the truth?

He was ready to die about the shit and still lied though.

All he ever had to do was tell her the whole fucking truth.

Everything this WOMAN knows about love and sex, she's learned from this man (and the real MVP Rose). He has literally taught her everything from the start of her sexual awakening. He knows better than anyone how ignorant she is regarding literally ANYTHING sexual in nature. I know he's insanely damaged, but this fucking hurts.

It's a unique feeling of unease and helplessness when you feel or realize you don't have agency over your own body.

An absence of the option to consent if you will.

I know this is a show, and I suppose it's doing its job because it's getting me deep into my thoughts and feelings. And I sure as a mf ENJOY THE FUCK out of watching them literally breathe in the same room with each other....among the many other things they do onscreen together. I guess I'm just heartbroken too. Shit. Plus y'all know I love tf out of my girl Daphne.

Ok back to the show again. This episode is fucking with my emotions.

Daphne is stewing!

But fuck if this isn't romantic as a mf.

These 2 fuck me up every time!

JPOLND - The End. That's this song. And this song is perfect.

Yes y'all! Rip them clothes off.

Daphne looks wild as hell. Carnal. She has a carnal look about her.

Ok bitch. Climb that mf tree then!

Is she anger-fucking him?!

Either way, he's loving it!!!

This song really is perfect.

Oh shit she's not letting up.

Fuck.

This shoe dropping?! Gawd NO!

She was literally like you took my choice so I took yours.

These fucking two.

He's hot with it for good reason for sure, but she is going in!

How the fuck could you think she knew how this worked when she didn't know what masturbation, let alone sex was until you got a hold of her?

YOU. PLAYED. ON. HER. IGNORANCE.

Maybe this conversation should have been had before y'all got naked.

They're both right in their own ways.

But they are absofuckinglutely wrong in so many of their own ways too.

He didn't ask for her pity and she didn't ask for his betrayal.

They are tearing me apart right now!

Big Sean said it best. "I guess drama makes for the best content."

I'm still rooting for them. I love growth and we still got 2 episodes left. They can't stay stuck like this, I'm sure.

Oh hey Whistledown.

Aww go to your friend.

Wtf is going on?

Are they all trying to kill me?

Aw fuck. Marina has been blasted by Whistledown. It's over.

Pure little Colin.

Oh Simon is heartbroken and Daphne.......she's desperate for a baby.

"Can the ends ever justify such wretched means?" That's a great question Whistledown. I'll have to get back to you on that.

I will close this with happiness because I refuse to accept this heartbreak.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 504

Let’s make this one quick, because tbh I really dgaf about Alicia and Isiah and I’m almost done with Maas’ new book so if any other’s in the Maaslander squad wanna chat about it, I have feelings.

They’re really dragging this Bonnet thing out, aren’t they. I mean, the books did too, but they could have, ya know, AdApTeD. Le sigh.

Hallo the house is the olde timey version of texting “here” when you get to your buddy’s place.

This episode could really be titled Men Suck.

I mean really. Roger? The Browns? Bonnet? Even fucking Elijah Ford manages to suck and we never even see him!

Jamie doesn’t suck much in this episode. Which is a nice change of pace for him. But he’s been headcanon’ed beyond recognition so whatevs.

Fergus doesn’t suck. Fergus is always the exception who can hang with the ladies because he’s cool enough to be in the good squad.

I just fucking love Fergus ok.

As someone who *hates* shopping, back in the day shopping seems like my exact version of hell.

Also, like, have these fuckers not learned their lessons about not communicating? They don’t need to fucking tell everyone the whole truth, but come the fuck on. They can at least give the Ridge Squad a heads up to not fuck with rando Irishmen who may show up.

I swear, they’re all so dumb it hurts.

Also, Bree, girl. You’re talking to an old Scottish lady. Maybe don’t shit on the Irish in a way that also directly applies to her.

Alicia was Mr. Darcy’s daughter on Ripper Street, right? She looks super familiar.

I’m offended on Fergus’ behalf that they’re wasting so much of his whisky with that leaky stopper, tbh.

Ah, toxic masculinity and patriarchal bullshit. Right up there with rape as my FaVoRiTe way to demonstrate that ye olde times sucked.

It’s like dialed to 11 this episode so obvi I spent the majority of it rolling my eyes.

The Jamie and Claire with the baby stuff was solid though.

And thank fuck they refer to her as Bonnie. Like, Diana is notoriously bad with names, but come the fuck on. Alicia Brown and Alicia Beardsley in like the same few chapters? THERE ARE A LOT OF NAMES IN EXISTENCE, DIANA. IT’S OK TO BRANCH OUT A BIT.

Every time something like this comes up, I remember that there’s another random Randall but like as a first name, I think, in the Gathering Without End. Because of course.

Fergus should really be a fucking diplomat. I mean really.

I am approximately 1000% over sing-alongs with Roger. Can we hang the fucker already so he can’t talk anymore?

Yay freedom! You know what goes well with freedom? An incestuous throuple. You do you, Beardsleys.

“You’re 14.” “Uh, I am clearly in my mid-20s.” “Nope, 14.” “Cool cool. Message received.”

“Congratulations, you work fast milord.” I JUST FUCKING LOVE FERGUS SO MUCH.

Seriously, this show needs more Fergus. Also more Fergus, Bree and Marsali bonding. Like, if we’re gonna have an episode about randos, we clearly could have better used the time to have the Fraser kiddos bonding.

“When in Rome...” STFU, Roger. Cosplaying your way through history like you’re on a fieldtrip isn’t cute. It’s fucking annoying. And you wonder why Jamie doesn’t like you. You are an eminently unlikable person.

Roger would def be the guest the hosts in Westworld want to kill.

The only good part about this side-quest is that there’s so much of Jamie telling Roger he sucks. And really, I’m here for any and all of Roger being told he sucks.

Ok but literalol at how badly Caitriona/Claire knocked over her mug. She like put it down fine and then tipped it over.

Oh hey, I wonder who that rando doctor who gives the weird advice is.

Lucinda is a cinnamon roll.

“Beauchamp, Randall, Fraser, now Rawlings? Ye have another husband I should ken about?” “Well, not yet, but you know your buddy who’s in love with you? Well...”

Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Randall Fraser Randall Fraser Grey Fraser is a very respectable name.

DON’T MAKE FUN OF THE DRINK OF FERGUS’ PEOPLE, BROWN MAN.

Literally the whole time in Brownsville all I could think was fuck, I really don’t want them to do the ABOSAA bit with them next season but I know they’re gonna and I already don’t want to waste time doing fucking recaps.

I’m bored.

Fuck there’s still half an hour left.

“What sort of man would I be if I allowed a lady to sleep out with the militia on a cold, dark night?” Idk, the kind of man whose people kidnap and rape a lady? *preemptive rage intensifies*

I know I should be freaking out that Bree’s freaking out that Bonnet kidnapped Jemmy, but all I could think of is the old podsa ads for SimpliSafe.

The Ridge needs SimpliSafay.

I fucking hate this storyline with the passion of a thousand fiery suns, but I fucking love Marsali.

Omfg I know it’s Brownsville but them all being Browns is fucking like GoT shit. Like, diversify your gene pool, y’all.

Ok, glad there’s finally a Marsali and Bree scene. But I still wish they could hang and like chat about stuff like pals.

That being said, MARSALI IS A FUCKING SAINT AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

And of course, more violence against women. Because we can’t go two seconds without reminding the audience that the past is Bad and Dangerous for women.

Also, is Marsali still preggo? Which baby are we on? What time is it? How much longer is left in this season episode?

Cute of Claire to be like hey, Rog, Jamie’s trusting you with me! His favorite thing! Like Jamie’s not actually trusting Claire with his daughter’s dipshit husband.

Oh hey, remember how Brianna can draw Bonnet fairly accurately? Sure would be nice if there was a way to, idk, show those pics to folks on the Ridge. Just spit-balling here, but like, maybe giving folks a heads up would be a good idea. Kind of like how she fuCKING COULD HAVE DRAWN ROGER LAST YEAR BECAUSE TALKING ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND IS A NORMAL THING TO DO WITH FAMILY AND THEN WE WOULDN’T HAVE HAD ROGERGATE AND OMFG THE DUMB. IT HURTS SO MUCH.

Claire just fucking yeeted that baby lol.

For real though, literalol at Jamie like taking his coat off and being all dramatic as he prepares to... play DDR.

omega psi chi phi upsilon tau sigma rho pi omicron xi nu mu lambda kappa iota theta eta zeta epsilon delta gamma beta alpha

Drunk!Claire is back!

I fucking love drunk!Claire. So does Jamie.

The scene where they talk about raising the baby together is adorable. But also, like, Jamie, you’re grandparents now. All the good parts of parenting with none of the shitty parts! And y’all have been through enough shit in your lives that you deserve all the fluffy grandparenting!

“And Marsali and Fergus... Well, I’m sure they will keep the Ridge sufficiently populated if that’s what you’re worried about.” “ Yeah, that lass is with child every time Fergus lays eyes upon her.” WHERE IS THE LIE THO.

Joking aside though, they’d better keep giving Marsali more stuff to do than spit out babies. *aggressively side-eyes a certain author who DiDn’T lIkE wRiTiNg AbOuT kIdS*

Good on them for tweeting out the suicide prevention hotline. Literally the least they can do.

I’m barely really trying to give a shit about Alicia and Isiah, but alas, idgaf.

Literally the only good thing about this whole story line is Isiah being like “step the fuck off, you raging hypocrites” to Roger and Jamie.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 👍? Jimmy: you? Janis: what kind of answer isn't that, boy 😏 Jimmy: what kind of question were it in the first place, girl? Janis: honestly, try and be a good host Janis: you just want me to be shit Jimmy: that's not what I want Janis: Go on, you've got me interested Jimmy: What, you're not riveted by Gracie's IRL storytime? 😱😱 Janis: if I was, I'd be subscribed Jimmy: OMG you're NOT suchanathlete69??! Jimmy: that's awkward Janis: Catfished again Janis: unlucky, mate Jimmy: did wonder why you were saving your best chat for them late night 🗨 we were having Janis: 🙄 Hilarious Janis: obviously you'd have got none if I'd have known you were coolguy666 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know Janis: welcome for the pain for your art Jimmy: #whenyourmusenevertakesadayoff Janis: this is a business trip Jimmy: owe you a golf holiday, I know Jimmy: gonna have to proper unwind for a bit as only a rich girl can Janis: No, no Janis: golf trips are boys only clubs Janis: 💔 💀👑 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: please never call her that Jimmy: you don't think it's a goer? reckon she'd 💕 it Janis: 🤢 Janis: she doesn't 💕 you, soz Jimmy: I'd obvs say it in her daddy's accent, not that thick Janis: Stop 😂 Janis: we cannot afford to pull over Jimmy: he ain't driving that fast, let's just jump out Janis: I know her voice IS that annoying Jimmy: could easily drown her out, mine's worse Janis: nah Janis: no 🥇 for you on that one Jimmy: [nudges her like rude] Janis: [nudges him back like it's a compliment, idiot] Jimmy: [a look like it's not one of your best 😏] Janis: [a look like you want my best rn?] Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [just the longest LOOK back ever but then looking at the fam like 😒 ugh] Jimmy: [just touching her 😒 face so she's looking at him again like forget them] Janis: [makes a lil noise like oh, but then so 😍] Jimmy: [a lil kiss but really soft and quick so nobody else notices] Janis: you are so Jimmy: you are Janis: no you Jimmy: [kisses her again less softly or quickly because no you] Janis: [goes in like dgaf fam] Jimmy: [y'all can deal we know Grace is the only one who's bothered and she's seen worse/is chatting away] Janis: better? Jimmy: how do you want me to answer that? Janis: truthfully Janis: obvs Jimmy: [shakes his head because we know any time they kiss he just wants to kiss more #mood but she could read that no as he's not gonna answer] Janis: [is a bit like ?? but shrugs like okay] Jimmy: [I like to think he's about to say something but then his phone is going off cos all that fam drama whenever he goes anywhere] Janis: [just sitting there, not knowing what the craic is #always] Jimmy: [sums up this era so accurately] Janis: do you reckon that lot are even in the car yet Jimmy: probably still trying to fit the tall one's body in the boot Janis: great Janis: HATE when you have to wait for the gals to decapitate ⏲😩 Jimmy: I'll tell 'em to crack on Janis: 'cos they always listen to you Jimmy: duh Janis: you'll need at least (1) sports car for those privileges Jimmy: better get to nicking one then Janis: oh yeah Janis: gonna be loads rocking up Jimmy: Challenge accepted, Jules Janis: know I said it was a business trip Janis: but gonna be suspicious if you don't at least pretend to enjoy the tunes Jimmy: 🥇 but it'll still be a stretch Janis: you got this, babe Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: all tight tanks and short shorts, is it Janis: gotcha Jimmy: [😏] Jimmy: can't bully you into wearing pjs everywhere Janis: too right Janis: well soft, you Jimmy: [pushes her like oi but deliberately really softly] Janis: [😏] Janis: I might've brought a pair Janis: if you're lucky Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: not a paddy Janis: then I'm gonna be well cold in our tent tonight Jimmy: not gonna let that happen Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would do Janis: one who's busy jacking cars maybe Jimmy: fancy cars have heated seats, you'll be alright Jimmy: on or off my lap Janis: on Janis: thanks Jimmy: [pulls her onto his lap now so casually] Janis: [snuggles into him as casually like, could be warmer] Jimmy: [puts his arms around her like he's doing it for warmth but we know he's just pulling her closer too] Janis: alright, I'll trust you Jimmy: alright, I might be a bit lucky Janis: you can be Jimmy: [such a LOOK] Janis: I can't wait to be alone with you again Jimmy: you sure we can't pull over? Janis: can you reach the break from here? Janis: [reaching her leg over like she's gonna but they are obviously nowhere near] Jimmy: [just looking at her like well you moving about is not helping] Janis: [is fully aware and enjoying it herself] Jimmy: [whispers in her ear that he hates her because we can't say what we really wanna say] Janis: [#into it and having to do the most to hide it from the whole van rn] Janis: you're so rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: it's you Janis: you started it Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: it's not my fault you look like that Janis: or feel like Jimmy: but you're so Jimmy: that's nowt to do with me Janis: it's everything to do with you Jimmy: alright maybe a bit Jimmy: I just Janis: I know Jimmy: do you? Janis: [a LOOK up like don't I?] Jimmy: [just gonna kiss her so you don't say something you shouldn't thank you boy] Janis: [a moment] Janis: Me too Jimmy: [looking at her because she's so beautiful it's killing us all] Janis: [when you can never keep looking as long as he can so you move somehow closer to hide] Jimmy: [making it so she has to look at you, excuse you sir cos you're shamelessly hot about it, as if all the eye contact in the world will do the job of telling her you love her so you don't have to do it #ifonly] Janis: [when you literally cannot and you go way too hard 'cos you have no other option because what can you say] Jimmy: [excuse them rn everyone, thank god Grace is loud af whether she's still talking or blasting music or both lol] Janis: [at least the camper does offer a degree of privacy too you two are clearly in the back alone] Jimmy: [mhmm you're all very welcome for that] Janis: ['can you be quiet?' when you're so serious suddenly 'cos the need is so real] Jimmy: [nods but like can you actually boy I am less convinced] Janis: [do your best lads 'cos we doing this regardless tbh] Jimmy: [you must've been pretty quiet in that kitchen the other day as his brother and sister were in the next room then, you can do this] Janis: [we believe in you, in his ear whilst she can still trust herself to whisper though, 'I'm gonna make it so hard for you'] Jimmy: [already biting his lip because you can't be making a noise that fast #challengeaccepted but he obvs wants to and would've] Janis: [biting his ear lobe at the same time 'cos forever a thing now for all those #mems 'it was never hard to fake this part, you know' 'cos we all know that was never fake 'cept the very first time 'you're so fucking wantable'] Jimmy: ['its so different with you' even as a whisper you can imagine how his voice sounds cos as much as he meant that like he's so over all the girls in his DMs telling him how hot he is etc that 100% isn't ALL he means, likewise he doesn't just mean this is so different from the fake and we all know it #emotions] Janis: [when it's obviously exactly the same for you and it's been known since the first kiss so it throws you when he says it 'cos still just think you're broken or something at this point and you really wanna ask really so he says it again but you don't wanna give yourself away so you just go in 'cos you need all the moments] Jimmy: [safer that both of you don't talk for a bit tbh] Janis: [deffo gonna be saying his name though like it's the only word you know casually] Jimmy: [so into it, she was not wrong about making it hard for him to shhhh] Janis: [so into that, soz to everyone else we know they do not care] Jimmy: [glad as I am Harold is not turning up at this festival always a bit gutted because you need to know just how much you can't compete sir] Janis: [foreals, though it should be obvious with how hard you're being ignored/she's not hitting you up] Jimmy: [just Mia in his DMs what a downgrade] Janis: [when even her intentions aren't pure, poor boy lmao] Jimmy: [I'm sure there's also loads of girls from your own school, I don't feel sorry for you boy] Janis: [no one should] Jimmy: [he's a bad egg] Janis: [and not even bringing it sexually, rude] Jimmy: [he and Mia so #fated cos she's obvs not either] Janis: [imagine they got together together if Mia wasn't cray] Jimmy: [they're getting as together as she ever does, being in love with her dad and everything, like he'll last longer than anyone else has] Janis: [awh, get married guys] Jimmy: [thank god they can't have babies cos imagine] Janis: [gutted y'all won't be invited to the wedding and baby shower] Jimmy: [so glad she's as barren so she can't have a child just to hurt Grace when that all comes out] Janis: [the levels of petty] Jimmy: [she'd be gutted she can't force one of the others to do it] Janis: [do not need that level of drama ty ladies] Jimmy: [anyway is there any other shit we wanna do with JJ before they get there?] Janis: [we know the vibe, in their happy bubble now 'til they have to deal with the flat whites again] Jimmy: [ignore your fam for as long as you can as well boy, you need a break] Janis: [do we wanna hit the flat white points in here or ref on socials or a mix of?] Jimmy: [we can probably do both cos plenty of slagging off of them to be done] Janis: [right, what do we wanna do first, what makes most sense, Asia maybe, or Mia] Jimmy: [we said that Mia hits that first aid tent pretty fast for the attention so we could do that first] Janis: [lego 👍] Janis: don't you fancy being 🥇 nurse? Janis: sure you can plump a pillow better than any of them 😏 Jimmy: that'll be why I'm legging it in the other direction Jimmy: she's getting too used to having me about as is Jimmy: and I've only got a 💀💀💀 pact with you Jimmy: unless 👵👴💕 come asking Janis: treat 'em mean is her whole thing, she'll 👀 your game from a mile off, like Janis: and I'll keep mine out for any 👵👴 that are down with the kids Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: d'ya reckon we could convince her 💊 were sleeping tabs or Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: though if she tells me she loves me, I will need the med tent for real 🤢 Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 💔 Janis: don't lie Janis: all you want is her love, be like you doubled your dose Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: can't all pile into first aid Janis: not getting in no tent with them again Janis: the ☁ of fucking glitter and 'perfume' was worse than tear gas Janis: gonna have flashbacks Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I get it, you already ✨ eh, vampire girl Janis: any more glow would just be showing off Janis: not like me, obvs Jimmy: don't sound like you at all Jimmy: [but kisses her] Janis: you tryna save me, yeah Jimmy: got some first aid skills of my own Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: [😏] Janis: can we keep that between us Janis: or they'll all be faking it Jimmy: they were warned only one of you is getting mouth to mouth ages ago Janis: her man ain't here so Janis: you're well in Jimmy: ⏲💔😭 Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the way like I g2g] Janis: me that's 💔💔💔 Janis: dickhead Jimmy: [pulls her into a hug that's meant to be OTT but is just real] Janis: [when you can't even pretend to push him away] Jimmy: ['I told you ages ago, I just want you' as a whisper in her ear but with kisses in between the words like the first time he said it for those mems] Janis: [the 😍 are so real, at least they must be somewhere nearby but definitely not for their benefit really we know 'good'] Jimmy: [we know he's giving them back] Janis: [they need to be dragged to an artist they 100% don't wanna see rn] Jimmy: [10000% cos for him that's literally all of them and I vote she sees community service girl with her 📷 but she doesn't see them cos busy and Janis makes sure Jimothy don't see her lol lol] Janis: [tbh, we all know there's ways of doing that, namely dancing with him, even if the music is far too shit so you have to make your own rhythm] Jimmy: [he's only got 👀s for her at the best of times so it's really not a challenge to distract him lol] Janis: [this can be when Ella freaks out too, when you and Mia just wanna be alone in the tent lmao you seem SO gay] Jimmy: [oh ladies] Janis: 🖖🕙✂ Jimmy: ? Janis: contenders for love's young dream Jimmy: you and Mr Lucas got a better shot Jimmy: 🎯💕 Janis: sure, he's less 💀 than them but young is still a stretch Jimmy: he's too young for me Janis: who isn't Janis: dead fussy Jimmy: we can't all be as unfussy as the #squad Jimmy: 💀#2 excluded Janis: you can say slags, it's alright Janis: never hear you over this racket Jimmy: [shouts it because that nerd] Janis: [loling] Jimmy: didn't have their hearing checked Jimmy: shit nursing that Janis: your standards are very high, it's been known Janis: [OTT smug face like look at me] Jimmy: [twirls her around because nerd] Janis: [fully have a nerdy dance moment and knock into people be those dicks 'cos the level you do not care about anyone else ever] Jimmy: [literally nobody else here as far as you two are concerned] Janis: [until we blow that up anyway] Jimmy: [speaking of I like to think Grace is starting to put the moves on whatever guy she ends up pulling to annoy Mia cos not there to stop her] Janis: [telling her all about his band and set, like how fascinating] Jimmy: [the fam she's grown up in, boy she knows] Janis: [when you realize none of 'em are paying attention now, Asia's probably missing and the two left are flirting so you see your chance] Janis: wanna go find some overpriced food n drink? Jimmy: stop calling me fat OMG 😱😱 Janis: [pokes his non-existent belly 'cos you ain't even with how much you smoke/general decent genetics, lucky] Janis: that's what we 💗 about you Janis: make us look better Jimmy: first off, Asia couldn't look any better, tah very much 👻💕 Jimmy: second, piss off you Janis: 🤞 an opportune date rapist has thought so too and we won't have to see her 'til tomorrow Janis: [going in the direction of the food trucks etc] Jimmy: [following her obvs] Janis: [holding her hand back like 'don't get lost'] Jimmy: [giving her look like he might find Asia but boy we all know you'd be gutted instead of thrilled if you did, stop playing] Janis: [gesturing with your free hand like be my guest, but 😒 face with it] Jimmy: [return of the pouty lip kiss thing because he can't even pretend he wants anyone else at this point] Janis: [enjoy your moment being so in everyone's way in this crowd] Jimmy: [we know you love it] Janis: [stay back community service gal] Jimmy: [we're not ready for you yet hun] Janis: [well you are gonna have to shoot your shot soon 'cos this is only a weekend but ignoring you rn thanks 'cos full on alone time 'cos the flat whites are being messy by themselves] Jimmy: [soz jj have gotta do the most so it's the most awkward when you do appear] Janis: [oosh she's gonna be so mad, already mad you're here like no you ain't allowed lol] Jimmy: [like I think she should do something at the last possible moment so then it's like raw af when they gotta leave] Janis: [I vibe] Jimmy: [so for now you can be happy nerds until Asia's bf appears and is like ??] Janis: [oh sir, you don't even know] Jimmy: [they'd both be so relieved you're not Harry though tbh] Janis: [#bffs probably checking his socials so hard making sure he looks busy somewhere else like] Jimmy: [she can be doing that while he's having a text argument with either his dad or sister casually] Janis: [awkward if he saw that out of context] Jimmy: [OMG should we] Janis: [why not yo] Jimmy: [let's say he goes to take her phone to look at something on Cass' socials cos she's blocked him as a fuming 12 year old would and that's how he sees it cos you know he's not gonna ask if he can borrow it just take it like a rude hoe] Janis: [when you're just like excuse me, taking it back 'cos you lowkey aren't even thinking how that looks] Jimmy: [looking at her like EXCUSE YOU cos of how it does look] Janis: [taking what would seem like a rude amount of time to get it like ? then just pshing like oh please] Janis: checking he ain't coming Jimmy: 👍 Janis: really Janis: what is up with you? Jimmy: [just shaking his head because fuming] Janis: ['what?' and a look like I know this cannot be about him rn] Jimmy: leave it out Janis: you can read my messages if you like, 'cos I ain't sent him none Jimmy: I don't wanna read whatever bollocks he reckons is top 🍑📞 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: yeah, me either Jimmy: don't wanna hear your protests either Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 Janis: Don't be a dick 🙄 Jimmy: you only about it when he's doing it? Janis: yeah, obviously Jimmy: 👌 Janis: seriously Janis: so you're gonna be in a mood now, for what Jimmy: for what? Jimmy: are you serious? Janis: I told you why I was looking at his shit, why do you have an issue with that? Jimmy: you weren't gonna say nowt til I caught you at it Jimmy: how's that to start with? Janis: don't make it sound like something it ain't Janis: it's irrelevant as long as he's not showing up, that's why Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you being glued to your screen ain't irrelevant Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I'm not glued to my screen Jimmy: not now, dickhead Janis: oh, you want me to be loving this convo more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: wow, please tell me more Janis: 😍 Jimmy: go back to working out where he is Jimmy: never seen you care so much about owt else Janis: because I don't want to fucking see him Jimmy: check out his socials a bit harder while you're saying that Jimmy: see if you can really take the piss Janis: [walking off from wherever they're currently situated] Janis: fuck this then Jimmy: Great talk, babe Janis: don't talk to me then Janis: and don't fucking babe me Janis: as bad as that lot now Jimmy: Yeah I got the message that you don't wanna 🗨 Jimmy: could always block me like you ain't done him Janis: What do you want me to say then Janis: 'cos you ain't listened to fuck all I have Jimmy: I heard you Janis: don't believe me then Jimmy: you easy could've said to me, check he ain't coming Janis: why would I when I can do it myself and not bother you Jimmy: you don't wanna see him, there's a reason Janis: he's a prick? Jimmy: is that a question? Janis: hardly Jimmy: you think I can't handle him or what? Janis: Obviously not Janis: you did, didn't you Jimmy: what then? Janis: it didn't make any sense to me to have you thinking about him and if he might come and all Janis: that's it Jimmy: like I weren't Janis: well that can't be put on me Janis: or do, whatever Jimmy: I give a shit about what you do and don't want Jimmy: do what you want with that Janis: then believe me when I say I don't want him Jimmy: Alright Janis: is it or not Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: come back Janis: not yet Jimmy: please Janis: don't do that Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: it's fine Janis: whatever Jimmy: it's not Janis: I just need Janis: some fresh air Jimmy: I get it, everyone's doing my head in but you Jimmy: I didn't mean to do yours in an' all Janis: you mean 'til you caught me hoeing I weren't Janis: are you alright? Jimmy: I mean you weren't, that's why I said it Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: I were doing my own head in about that dickhead, you did nowt Janis: we can count him as a no-show, anyway Janis: not stalking him in vain Jimmy: yeah Janis: don't make me sound as cliche to say he ain't worth the mental energy Jimmy: don't make me sound as cliche as some dickhead who's only bothered by a bigger dickhead Janis: he's just some dickhead Janis: this town is full of 'em Jimmy: like I said Jimmy: ain't got the 🎻🎻 out for him Janis: well I don't need it, tah Jimmy: not playing you a song either, girl Janis: yeah, I noticed you didn't answer my question Jimmy: probably don't need answering then Janis: your mood is obvious, obvs Janis: you could give me a why Jimmy: I did Jimmy: I said everyone's doing my head in Janis: yeah Janis: beyond the obvious everyone and their standard annoying bullshit or Jimmy: depends Janis: depends on what Jimmy: what else you've noticed Jimmy: I dunno what's obvious to you or what bullshit you reckon is my standard Janis: 🔎🔎 Janis: that'd be telling Jimmy: there you go then Janis: take some of their drink Janis: doing them and us a favour Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it'll make you feel better Jimmy: weren't arguing Jimmy: no need to convince me, mate Janis: it's my calling Jimmy: don't give up 🏃 Janis: most people hear have heard the good word Janis: then some, state of 'em Jimmy: but have they heard Bill's? Janis: it's his 🌍 babe Janis: we're all just players Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I'm already a fan Janis: hipster scum Jimmy: it's my calling Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: good idea too Janis: don't need to tell you that though Jimmy: just did Janis: do plenty of things I don't need to Jimmy: you wanting a 🏆 for that or what? Janis: you wanted me to come back a second ago, dickhead Jimmy: I still want you to come back Janis: then don't sass me Janis: you are well becoming one of them Jimmy: saying that ain't gonna stop me wanting you back Jimmy: however many times you compare me to them slags Janis: shout it again so I know it's real? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [comes back from wherever she was, not that far away like 👏] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he hasn't seen her for a thousand years] Janis: [just coming over and hugging him in a way that is clearly genuine] Jimmy: [hugging her back really tightly even if he has to put that stolen vodka down to do it] Janis: ['I just want you too, alright'] Jimmy: [when you gotta kiss her because overwhelmed by emotions because we only got that cheating ex is our past no ride or die and no crying at the festival boy] Janis: [we just always kissing so we can't admit the obvious right now god bless] Jimmy: [both of you acting like you're shit with words but we know the truth is you're scared to say anything too hardcore because you're not shit with words at all] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [just not letting her go cos you're a clingy bitch] Janis: [doing that thing where you're backwards and just let him walk you around as one to cheer him] Jimmy: [feeding her some vodka because why let her do it herself when you can and make it a moment] Janis: [#aboutit even if you gotta be like 😏 'you trying to get me drunk?'] Jimmy: ['not much of a challenge that' forever calling her a pisshead and/or lighweight but smiling] Janis: ['wrong twin' and an OTT pissed off face whilst you return the vodka favour] Jimmy: [loling don't choke boy] Janis: ['I don't find it funny, thank you very much' but not actually mad] Jimmy: [tickling her to try and make her laugh too] Janis: [tryna escape but not that hard moment] Jimmy: [you know he's gotta make it hot and pin her up against something soz not soz] Janis: [when those #mems hit and you're 😳] Jimmy: [telling her you missed her even though she was only gone for a hot sec cos you're highkey] Janis: ['you are such a headfuck' followed by the most torturously slow kiss ever 'cos this whole situation got you like] Jimmy: [SUCH a noise because torture is right] Janis: [going at it like you're mad at him] Jimmy: [enjoy it cos we gonna make all that Asia drama happen soon] Janis: [oh Asia you fool, I like to think the people who's tent you're in don't even know that you're there like they're just chilling with a BBQ or whatever] Jimmy: [same though] Janis: [but your mans clearly thinks you're cheating on him so you getting dumped, poor hoe] Jimmy: [Mia and Ella would have totally encouraged him to believe that] Janis: [gotta let them have some victories, sadly] Jimmy: [I do love what a shit time you anorexic gays are clearly having though] Janis: [yes, overall this has been worth it, not that JJ are gonna care about that once we fuck this all up with community service girl but still] Jimmy: [soz lads] Janis: [hohaha it works out in the end so got to be done] Jimmy: [you gotta be pushed or you'll be fwb until you're like 23] Janis: [and there are babies to be had just you wait lmao] Jimmy: [beautiful af babies] Janis: [but for today, Asia drama pops off] Jimmy: [when he's gonna be worried cos he's a good boy not because he's 😍 thank you gals] Janis: [the level of 👀 they'll all be] Jimmy: [like soz he's triggered by her just disappearing shut your mouths ladies] Janis: [all be looking and shouting and pissing people off who are tryna kip probably like be those hoes] Jimmy: [how drunk the flat whites are I can't even] Janis: [Janis like 'I'll stay here in case she comes back' 'cos cannot be seen with them/does not care about Asia we all know lol] Jimmy: [when you don't wanna be separated but you have to go look because the squad can't be trusted to do fuck all rn] Janis: Godspeed Jimmy: Tah Janis: don't let lizard boy get in a punch up Janis: 'less you're gonna film it for me Jimmy: he couldn't throw a punch if you 💰 him, rich girl Jimmy: but if some dickhead gives him a smack, I'll obvs get my 📷 out Janis: maybe I will Janis: make it worth him coming down Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what's 👎 Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: what I said Janis: are you actually worried about her Jimmy: shut up Janis: fuck off telling me to shut up Janis: you know she's just carrying on the party somewhere else Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fine Janis: be a dick Jimmy: lasses first Janis: what, 'cos I'm not gonna freak out over wherever Asia is sucking dick and getting more white-girl wasted Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: have fun with that then Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: had no idea you were such an amateur Jimmy: Piss off Janis: really Janis: see if Mia needs anything whilst you're at it, like Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: if you're lucky Janis: depends if you're personally gonna check every tent Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: I'm not, you're being a mug Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: idc, and you clearly love it Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: living laughing loving, me Jimmy: having a top time with my #lad BFF Janis: you fit right in, how many times can I say it Jimmy: as many times as you like Jimmy: wouldn't wanna piss on your parade Janis: yeah Janis: so considerate and caring Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted I'm not a massive bastard Jimmy: bit busy rn but I'll dry your eyes when I get back Janis: 'cos that makes sense Janis: don't bother, I don't need you Jimmy: don't bother to start talking sense now, you've been going on ages without any Janis: if you're so busy, then you don't have time to come at me with all this bullshit Jimmy: too right Jimmy: nowt left that needs to be said any road, you've well covered it Janis: yep Janis: go away now Jimmy: [does for ages because obvs they don't find Asia til the AM/way later we know and her bf is fuming and there's DRAMA and nobody notices that Jimothy is struggling with all this] Janis: [when you've just been here alone with nothing to do and no updates so you're casually fuming at all this] Jimmy: [just goes back into their tent because bye everyone he's so over y'all] Janis: [just lowkey shouting at them all to stfu with this bullshit now so he can get some peace] Jimmy: [get in your tent and sleep it off you hot messes] Janis: [just sat outside 'cos you aren't about to go in either tent like thanks so much for this gals] Jimmy: [just throwing a hoodie or whatever at her through the tent flap cos you know she's out there and it's been raining] Janis: [tapping the tent to say thanks 'cos you aren't gonna actually say it] Jimmy: [when you know they just sat on either side of this tent opening so casually how romeo and juliet of you] Janis: [the accidental drama of it all] Jimmy: [get drunker yourself boy that'll help SO MUCH honestly] Janis: [oh no no] Jimmy: [full of good ideas jimothy is] Janis: [when you just wanna go so bad but can't 'cos Asia's fucked that for you] Jimmy: [Oh Asia] Janis: [just picking up the shit they left outside and fucking it up/throwing it/losing it] Jimmy: [I don't blame you babe, go off] Janis: [gotta do something yo] Jimmy: [I'm just gonna leave him in here marding, much less productive] Janis: I'm going for a walk alright Jimmy: Alright Janis: you need anything? Jimmy: Like what? Janis: Shoes, is a good one Janis: more bottles, less likely but maybe Jimmy: I don't need owt off you Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: have my 😭 when you've gone Janis: no thanks Jimmy: on you go then Janis: weren't waiting on your permission Jimmy: weren't giving it Janis: just keep the search party away and it doesn't matter either way Jimmy: not your bodyguard Jimmy: or theirs Janis: yeah sure Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning tell yourself that then Jimmy: fuck you Janis: wow Jimmy: find someone else to take the piss out of while you're out and about Janis: I'm not the one that's taking the piss out of you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: No, not bollocks Janis: have I had you running 'round this entire place after me Janis: no Jimmy: I'd go looking for you whether or not you reckon it makes me a twat Janis: it makes you a twat for them Jimmy: she's an fucking idiot Jimmy: not gonna just leave her Janis: She's managed to keep herself alive just fine 'til now Janis: how is it your job Jimmy: what so I'm a knobhead when I'm not on the clock? Jimmy: tah Janis: oh whatever Janis: I can't be bothered with this Jimmy: Why do you care if I look for her for a bit or not? Janis: I don't Janis: the question is why do you care Jimmy: It's what we're here for, for a start Jimmy: fake nice Jimmy: not that you can be bothered Janis: bullshit Janis: it's not fake, and even if it were, they're all too plastered to care or remember Jimmy: And what? Jimmy: You're jealous of her now Janis: get real Jimmy: you Janis: I am Janis: and I told you, this whole nice guy thing Janis: can't be bothered Jimmy: her boyfriend's at a loose end, crack on Jimmy: he's well more your type Janis: yeah you wish Jimmy: weren't a request Jimmy: I'm actually alright for threesomes as it goes Janis: and I'm alright without them or any of their sloppy seconds so piss off Jimmy: night then Janis: good chat Jimmy: won't get any 🏆 or owt but whatever Janis: I'll cope Jimmy: I'll live an' all Jimmy: 💔 to hear it, I know Janis: yeah Janis: 'cos if you ain't a 👼 you're that dick Janis: no inbetween Jimmy: it's you who's trying to shove a label on my head, when you ain't chucking me in a reusable coffee cup with them that is Janis: What are you trying to prove Jimmy: What are you on about? Jimmy: she's gone, I had a look for her 'cause her mates are too pissed, nowt else Janis: 👌 Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: just go to bed Jimmy: you ain't put any more work into being my step mum Jimmy: let that dream 💀💀💀 Janet Janis: You're so funny Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 🤐 then Jimmy: piss off with telling me what to do Janis: you're annoying Jimmy: yeah and you being a dickhead'll stop me Jimmy: good one Janis: what will Janis: seriously Jimmy: [stops replying like fine if that's how you want it seriously] Janis: [let's give you both a break] Jimmy: [we should say it's later and he's drunker and he's wandering around looking for her but in a more chill way than the flatwhites earlier so we're not waking half the campsite] Janis: [whereas she has been 'cos AM so nowt still officially on but people carrying on so she can be coming back] Jimmy: [awkwardly bumping into each other like] Janis: [literally 'cos can't straight up ignore him so just looking like oh, it's you] Jimmy: [looking at her like where the fuck have you been cos will never say it] Janis: ['I can't sit still'] Jimmy: ['I can't sleep'] Janis: ['why?'] Jimmy: [shrugs because so many reasons] Janis: [nods like #relatable] Jimmy: [nods like okay now I know you're alright I'll fuck off] Janis: [just looking at him like seriously 'this is stupid now'] Jimmy: [looking at her like it's been stupid this whole time] Janis: [walking alongside him like where are we going then 'cos you aren't just leaving] Jimmy: [god knows where they are actually going but he's sneaking looks at her with every step honey] Janis: [if you see it's 'cos you are too so can't say anything] Jimmy: ['I don't get why you're fuming at me' cos drunk enough we can just say it] Janis: [when you didn't take a bottle so you aren't at that level so you're more awkward but like alright, we're doing this, shrugs 'cos doesn't fully get it herself that's the tea 'I don't get what you really want'] Jimmy: ['from what?'] Janis: ['from-' gestures at herself then around them '-any of this, all of it, I knew, and then it changed, then I thought I knew again but then you do something or say something and I'm back at the start'] Jimmy: ['what did I do or say?'] Janis: [a look like, loads of stuff 'I've got to remind you?' and tapping his head and then the bottle like pisshead] Jimmy: ['I just mean-' stopping himself cos do you even know what you mean rn] Janis: [a sigh like fuck it, why not, 'cos he might not remember and tbh over the weirdness and tension so may as well 'you say you want me but then you trail after her for ages' shrugs 'we could've had fun instead'] Jimmy: ['it weren't like that' trying so hard not to owt all his secrets rn casually 'she could've been any of 'em' shakes his head at himself like he's remembering who they actually are 'except Mia, fuck her'] Janis: [lil 😏 but not committing to it 'cos still too awks and gah on this 'I know, do I have to be fair and logical about it though? Not good like you, fuck her'] Jimmy: ['I weren't thinking proper about it, you know what I'm like, full Shakespearean tragedy or nowt' shrugs like it's all such bants and it's so fine but he's obvs worried] Janis: ['You're just a nice person' shrugs like obviously, we're not here to debate that 'but-' making an actual ugh noise out loud 'cos can't believe you thinking like this, never mind saying it '-you say it's different with me, yeah? But you'd do that for anyone, and you just lump me in with them, like, how is it different...' looking away 'cos so mad at yourself and shamed] Jimmy: ['I've never lumped you in with them, that were you doing it to me' stops and looks at her 'you are different, from every other paddy dickhead I've met and a fair few northern ones an' all, I'm not just looking for you 'cause you're lost, I wanna be around you loads and I don't wanna be around anyone, even do my own head in, don't I?'] Janis: [not kissing him even though you (clearly) really, really want to, because you've been doing that when you're stopping yourself from saying what you want to but you're finally getting somewhere here and it doesn't feel shit, trying to actually say something in response though, is difficult 'cos OVERWHELMED 'I like you too'] Jimmy: [100% is 😳 and he's so white we all see it okay] Janis: [when he's so cute you gotta at least hug him 'so can we-' pausing 'cos about to say 'go back to how we were' but that's not exactly what you want so you're like umm '- you know, go back to our tent now?'] Jimmy: [hugging her back so hard like don't hurt yourself boy you're still not healed thank you 'we can do owt you want' sounds so casual but he's never meant anything more] Janis: ['I just wanna be with you, as long as it's alone, I don't care where'] Jimmy: [we handholding back to that tent because I don't think we can guarantee alone anywhere else] Janis: [we buzzing but we got some stuff we gotta say still so 'I'm sorry, you know, I was taking the piss a bit'] Jimmy: ['me an' all' because he is also sorry and was also taking the piss 'it does my head in like nowt else, fighting with you'] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos hard same 'it's just how I am with everyone else, it's easier to me than-' when you don't know what this is so we're just trailing off here '- but easier doesn't mean not shit'] Jimmy: ['I get it, all that nice lad bollocks, I get paid for it or get forced into it 'cause I don't want them turning into massive dickheads, like he is, and how I am, off the clock' when you just ranting about your fam casually now 'but I'm still doing the wrong thing for trying to get it right for myself for a bit' shrugs like so what can I do] Janis: [just letting him and listening because you can just about catch up to what he's saying here 'well, we don't have to spend no more time with this lot now and you don't have to fake nice to me, is that a start for some time just for you?'] Jimmy: [holds out the hand she's not holding like pinky promise me gal 'I ain't been faking nowt with you for ages' because tea that we can drunkenly spill] Janis: [does 'this shit is over' gestures towards their tents 'cos we can all see the squad turning to shit without you two needing to be involved 'good, 'cos I'd call you a liar if you said otherwise, I'd know if you were faking that, tah'] Jimmy: [the new dawn new day is gonna be messy for that lot we know 'will piss on their tent for you before we proper draw that line, if you like' because remember when she said he should] Janis: [lols 'so romantic'] Jimmy: [😍 which would seem so fake after she's said that but it's for the lol and how fucking cute she is] Janis: ['not gonna tell you where or where you can't piss, not that kinda fake girlfriend' 😏 'anyway I wrecked loads of their shit earlier so' shrugs like no room to talk] Jimmy: ['I were about to ask what kind you were, but that answers that' 😏 gives her the 🚬 from behind his ear like you a bad bitch I see] Janis: ['you've asked me that one before, only on special occasions, alright' loling again 'where are your sunglasses, like?'] Jimmy: [touches the top of his head like a nerd like nope they not there, looks down to see if they're on his top and pats his pockets, doing a more and more pouty face the longer the search goes on and he doesn't 'find' them] Janis: ['how do I even know it's the real you, honestly' then gasps dramatically like OMG 'Jamie?!' and being so 😍] Jimmy: [lols 'top news that some good'll come out of how our kid is probably scratching knobhead into 'em with her compass instead of doing her maths'] Janis: ['it's a look, sure you can style it out'] Jimmy: ['duh' in such a flat white voice] Janis: [shudders like #triggered 'don't, they're finally asleep and not annoying me'] Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna shout slags but only whispers it cos doesn't want them to wake up either] Janis: ['far as dirty talk goes...' but is 😍 can't lie] Jimmy: [gets his empty bottle from earlier and spins it then kisses her really hardcore like it's a pisstake of how the flatwhites hook up but also a shameless excuse] Janis: [have at it kids, you've been waiting for ages by your standards] Jimmy: [I wanna volunteer that this is the first time he calls her baby not as a pisstake because drunk enough that he accidentally could do] Janis: [yas, here for that] Jimmy: [we crossing lines today] Janis: [and it feels so good] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [step back homewrecker] Jimmy: [I'm so mad at her like yeah he's hot af but who do you think you are, this is not a James and Ava situation thank you] Janis: [lucky you ain't getting brawled tbh] Jimmy: [would love that] Janis: [we tryna be mature and show our feels in a better way though, tragically] Jimmy: [she isn't worth it anyways lbr like he's not even interested] Janis: [and they'll be done with community service soon they wouldn't have got that long so bye] Jimmy: [let the door hit you on your way out] Jimmy: [imagine their cute little disorientated sleepy faces though and how snuggled they'd be] Janis: [getting woken up by shouting is so confusing like 'scuse me hello???] Jimmy: [and once again lowkey triggering for my soft son] Janis: [we just staying snuggled 'til we work out what's going on and even then we ain't getting involved honey, just making a face like, called that] Jimmy: ['I've changed my mind, don't bother fucking him' we joking but we're also not because the voice is soft] Janis: [pushing his body with yours from a sleeping position, so also gently 'no scaly #kinkunlocked, idiot'] Jimmy: [pulling her closer again nbd] Janis: ['poor boy though, don't think it's even a record of shortest relationship for her' snuggling in harder without thinking about it 'cos they being so loud about their 💔 rn] Jimmy: [stroking her hair because it's comforting for them both 'do you wanna go get breakfast?' tea makes everything better that's facts] Janis: [#facts, nods 'they'll need to keep their energy up and all' 'cos remembering to be fake nice more whilst you're still here also the idea of throwing a sandwich at them like there you are is amusing her greatly] Jimmy: [we'll never know what amazing shade he was gonna reply with because a massive yawn instead cos you know they ain't had hardly any sleep] Janis: [Awh'ing at him, genuinely, and closing his eyes with her fingers like go back to sleep 'I'll find some earplugs for you, sleepy baby'] Jimmy: [holding onto her like DON'T GO without thinking about it] Janis: [is not going, just looking at him 'you shouldn't be allowed to look like that in the morning'] Jimmy: ['gotta keep up with you, girl' morning 😍] Janis: ['you don't have to try' the multiple meanings, love that] Jimmy: [does an IRL 🤏 like I do a bit] Janis: ['but I'm SUCH an athlete' 😏] Jimmy: ['help me up then' cos determined to get tea but would need help up cos those tricky ribs sleeping on the ground isn't really the one] Janis: [not to mention all the extra activities y'all have been getting up to on the ground, but helps him up, lol at them just scooting past like don't mind us you two] Jimmy: [god imagine, at least you can pretend you're wincing at that scene and the drama boy] Janis: [obvs notices 'you need another massage' looks about as they walking 'they probably have a tent here, like' 'cos the random hippie crap they do at festivals now be wild] Jimmy: [yeah even at small local ones like you know this is, the gimmicks be cray 'depends'] Janis: ['go on'] Jimmy: [draws two lines on her back like are you keeping a tally of how many I'll owe you or not] Janis: [shakes her head like nah 'I don't need nothing, besides, basically helping me with my homework so'] Jimmy: [draws the 🤓 in the same place but under whatever top she's wearing rn so it's against skin because harder to work out what he's drawing that's his excuse anyway lol] Janis: [has no idea what that was, the confusion and lol like boy what but also being like 'do it again' 'cos you want him to heheheh] Jimmy: [obvs does do it again slower like let's make this a moment] Janis: [so faux offended when she works it out 'shut up, I just like touching you'] Jimmy: ['gutted how I'd rate you don't actually count for nowt' cos she'd get that A+ honey] Janis: ['well you can tell Mr Joyce how good I am if you want but he'll just swear up and down he's NEVER made us massage each other for our mark, like'] Jimmy: ['til Mr Lucas comes through with the hours of footage, dickhead can't deny it then'] Janis: [loling 'dread to think what they have you do for art, babe'] Jimmy: ['yeah it's a proper laugh a minute, like' making a face because lord the bollocks he would have to do all jokes aside] Janis: ['he is an excellent life model though, be fair' the fakest wistful 😍 for Mr Lucas] Jimmy: ['that'll be why my dad put that one on the fridge' what a lovely mental image 'nowt to do with my talents'] Janis: [loling 'I'll try not to be offended he don't wanna look at me every day instead'] Jimmy: ['he does but can't be letting our kid get inspired by you an' all' mimes drawing a moustache and some devil horns on her even though we know Cass would probably do worse 'you're my muse' casually saying that like you're mine, we know] Janis: ['fair' 'cos we get it, dealt with a lot of siblings and a lot of siblings gf/bfs but not and never dealing with that so we coming at it with bants 'how much do muses get paid then, 50, 60?'] Jimmy: [IRL 🤔 winnie like he's so seriously considering for ages but then shrugs 'I gotta stay poor and you gotta stay rich' when you just saying you gonna give her all your money bye] Janis: ['gotta stay on brand, I get it' looking at the food trucks and tents like 🤔 Winnie herself 'they'll all bankrupt ya but may as well enjoy it'] Jimmy: [just 😍 so hard what is she even saying he don't know] Janis: [squishing his face like focus boy but you ain't mad, just getting in people's way, again, at least most people won't be up until the music starts again] Jimmy: [we know you there somewhere though with your coffee and your camera, community service gal] Janis: [ugh, have a tea you scumbag] Jimmy: [that's how you know they ain't #fated] Janis: [mhmm, she'd probably put the milk in first] Jimmy: [they only gonna talk about 📷 when they do see her cos only thing they have in common and all he's bothered about hearing from her] Janis: [like take a hint, it's not what you think it is, are you a flat white] Jimmy: [like I'M SORRY even when he's talking to you he's gonna be touching the bae so much unless she literally leaves, get a grip] Janis: [it's shameless, have you even talked to Janis or tried to] Jimmy: [blatantly scared of her aren't you babe] Janis: [like she hate you now but you know, not without reason, she'd definitely wanna leave but would probably stand her ground 'cos why should you just get to talk to him, be polite, madam, you can't] Jimmy: [1. even Grace was more subtle when she was leaving half the shit she owns at the CG 2.he don't wanna talk to you hun he don't wanna talk to anyone but her so excuse you 3. he blatantly would make NO indication that he wants Janis to leave hence holding her hand still/touching her all the time without even being aware of it really and like showing her the pics too/trying to include her in the convo like I should take a pic of you like this etc] Janis: [seriously, like this is so awkward and it's all your fault, probably in community service 'cos some girl scrapped with you 'cos you tryna steal her man] Jimmy: [go and hoe on pete he'd be about it, except don't cos he's too good for you too] Janis: [my boo says stay away, we aren't having you in the squad honey] Jimmy: [I like to think she finally makes her excuses/has some friends to get back to but like I said we all been knew she gonna try and chat to him in his DMs and get him to hang with them all later like a snek] Janis: [mhmm, we see you, hoe, also thanks for making this so awks now] Jimmy: [Jimothy just like 'bit weird she were here' cos boys are oblivious] Janis: ['is it?'] Jimmy: [a look like umm yeah? because he genuinely thinks it's a coincidence, oh boy] Janis: [shrugs 'small world, smaller town'] Jimmy: [shrugs back because he's already forgotten her and that's the tea, casually heading back to see what state the flat white drama has reached] Janis: [meanwhile we'll just be angsting don't mind us] Jimmy: [when you know she's quiet and it's different but you think she just doesn't wanna see the flat whites and is tired like you are so you just squeeze her hand like it's okay] Janis: [just the fakest smile, one that looks like a grimace, they're probably at the comforting stage so leave them to be extra about it, breathing out like 'thank fuck' Jimmy: [I like to think Grace shoots Janis a tiny look that nobody else sees like please kill me because so over it 5eva] Janis: [just 😏 and silently like good luck with that] Jimmy: [please can we say that when jimothy and community service girl cross paths again later Grace sees them and 'accidentally' does something to fuck with her like spill a drink on her/her camera whatever cos she's that clumsy bitch but she's also jj's biggest shipper on the low and it's never gonna get back to Janis but #defense squad regardless] Janis: [100% here for that] Jimmy: [she's a hoe and she 👀 you gal] Janis: [when you're that unsubtle] Jimmy: [for now though enjoy Asia crying too loud guys] Janis: [just having your breakfast in your tent like isn't this fun lmao] Jimmy: [getting his headphones and giving her one cos he's put on songs he knows she like because a babe] Janis: [literally anything over the sound of that lot] Jimmy: [you know they wireless cos it's the future so he doesn't have to sit as close as he is] Janis: [just looking at him silently saying as much but turning it into #bants like you think he's tryna steal your food like get off] Jimmy: [does steal some cos that bitch and it's all #bants and we're all fine] Janis: ['fat bitch' in a flat white impression] Jimmy: [dramatic OTT 😱] Jimmy: stop trying to make me 😭 an' all Jimmy: be rude to take the 🏆 Janis: they're pros at 😭 if nothing else Janis: don't be so cocky Jimmy: and I'm not? Jimmy: had the 🎻🎻 out when I came out my mum, ain't stopped since, tah Janis: that's 'cos you're the first child Jimmy: she weren't chuffed about none of us Jimmy: not special, me Janis: still, you get away with more by default Janis: even if it's just 'cos they're green Jimmy: yeah get away with loads Jimmy: be why I'm in community service Janis: amateur Janis: if you turned on the waterworks, might not have happened Jimmy: that's on Bill's 👻 only floating about when I don't need him Jimmy: your fault an' all though, meant to be #inspiring Janis: yeah well, you're welcome Jimmy: when you're not tucking into any grub, might be Janis: now you're calling me fat? Janis: get your own insults Jimmy: calling you territorial if owt 😾 Janis: you got your own, dickhead Jimmy: maybe I like yours better Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [😳] Janis: shut up 🙄😏 Jimmy: [does the whole what charade like he can't hear her even though they are typing] Janis: [🖕] Janis: not getting 'round me that easy Jimmy: it's alright, not scared of hard work, as well you know Janis: yeah yeah Janis: ⌚💕 Jimmy: [throws something at her but like a pillow because he's like be nice to me not fight me] Janis: [😒 'oi!'] Jimmy: ['Oi you' but softer] Janis: [taking said pillow and laying down like I'm exhausted, 'scuse me, which is true but you just can't] Jimmy: [you 100% know he's gonna lay down and spoon her like okay then] Janis: [allowing it 'cos you want it and you're trying not to let a hoe ruin shit for you 'cos ultimately you ruin things for yourself if that ain't a mood and you're just fighting all your instincts to not rn] Jimmy: [just having that moment even though we know it's not comfy for you on the ground because you wanna snuggle her more than you care about yourself] Janis: [and we know neither of you is sleeping but this beats interacting with the flatwhites at least] Jimmy: [you can blatantly hear his heartbeat in between songs gal you know he's not] Janis: [turning to look at him and frowning 'cos he looks as uncomfortable as he is 'you need your massage now' and putting him on his back] Jimmy: [shamelessly so into it when she's doing power moves like that] Janis: [when this keeps your hands and mind busy so you can just get into it and forget about that hoe for a hot sec and try to make him feel better] Jimmy: ['it weren't this bad before' when you've accidentally outted that this isn't the first time this has happened so you're like hope she's focused enough to not question me] Janis: [when he would've tensed when he realized what he'd said so you definitely took notice, as if you weren't anyway, but it does give you indication to not freak out, again, as if you would 'you probably had fractures and injuries, but smaller, repeat injuries in the same place lead to smaller cracks making bigger breaks and giving you longer healing time overall' shrugging like it's that casual 'plus, you're well old now, yeah? muscle and bone don't repair like it used to, granddad'] Jimmy: ['One foot in the grave, me, just waiting for you to get in' because we can always hide behind #bants] Janis: ['no pressure, like' shaking her head like 😏 'worse than a proposal'] Jimmy: ['might be worse than the proposal they pissed on, give you that, Jules' saying that like you're gonna do a better one] Janis: ['be serious, if you distract me I might break another bone and fuck taking the blame for someone else's handiwork and all'] Jimmy: 'Alright, well that there's a seriously good angle for you' mhmm on top of you we know what you're saying and mimes a 📷 like he's taking a pic of her cos that's his handiwork] Janis: [when you're into it and wanna be more into it but 📷 triggers you so you gotta brush him off like oh please 'I'm a professional'] Jimmy: [when you're gonna agree/give her another compliment but you don't have to say anything because a NOISE happens instead because that's how good she is at this] Janis: ['even when you make that very hard' 'cos fuuuck boy 😍] Jimmy: [giving her a LOOK because she's making it very hard for him to even function rn on every level] Janis: ['you deserve it' whispering this when you're inches from his face 'cos massaging his neck and shoulders] Jimmy: ['because?' also whispering and leaning in even more] Janis: ['because...' getting so close that when you talk, your lips touch his and he can feel how hard you're breathing and the heat 'you know exactly what you do to me'] Jimmy: ['because I need you' cos he's not said that yet and we know it's the truest thing and we're all dying because he's as close rn still cos there's never any chill] Janis: [such a noise 'cos not what you were expecting him to say but exactly what you wanted to hear and didn't even know how much that you cannot deal 'if you're lying, I will kill you' Jimmy: ['you'll have to kill me 'cause I'm not' when he's literally saying break my heart bitch idc like he's Peter from all the boys excuse you sir] Janis: ['I won't hurt you' like all the meaning and intention behind that because she hurts everyone else in her life very much on purpose so even to promise to try, bye] Jimmy: [gotta kiss her because we can't even like soz I know we're trying to communicate better but] Janis: [it is needed] Jimmy: [let them have it, they've done loads of meaningful chatting by their standards] Janis: [and the gals should've pissed off to get ready by now] Jimmy: [100% hope they can hear you though because payback is a bitch and so are all y'all] Janis: [same like they better but you two don't need to think about that] Jimmy: [it's okay we know it's not intentional like the fake dating days you're just loud af] Janis: [same like they better but you two don't need to think about that Janis: [Asia gonna have a meltdown lol] Jimmy: [And Mia cos she only just got rid of the band boys and now she has to be reminded yet again that lads exist other than her father] Janis: [so gutted harry isn't here so you can use him, also omg she's like bffs w matty from skins so she should end up going out with him] Jimmy: [she's the only one gutted he's not here] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [also Grace is the only one who is allowed to be like NOPE over hearing anything cos that's her sister the rest of y'all can calm down] Janis: [like you ain't hoeing when it suits lol] Jimmy: [jj are in LOVE bye] Janis: [we already got one hussy tryna ruin it, y'all can stay in your own tent tah] Jimmy: [oh what a fun tent that would be] Janis: [at least this will probably make your giggle 'cos you're 12, welcome for the mood boost] Jimmy: [honestly grow the fuck up gals] Janis: [immediately like shh Asia, so they can get back to Mia's fave topic, JJ] Jimmy: [Grace just wants to LEAVE RN IMMEDIATELY but she can't cos where would go you even go gal #coffeehunting oh Sammi] Janis: [just put some headphones in, it'll piss off Mia but what doesn't, just means they can bitch literally behind your back knowing you can defs still hear] Jimmy: [100% the mood well enjoy looking a state all of y'all cos Grace is good at makeup for all her many other flaws and she's not gonna do none of yours now soz not soz] Janis: [you know the day #2 looks are not gonna be as popping, we've all been taken down a notch/to reality here] Jimmy: [not that any of you were serving on day 1] Janis: [well no but less glitter and feathers today I feel] Jimmy: [we should say the 🌧 is worse too just to really rub salt in] Janis: [it probably would be, and muddy festival is the vibe for everyone else just not y'all] Jimmy: [like you live in Ireland not Ibiza deal with it] Janis: [you should not be surprised at this point like hellur] Jimmy: [what do we wanna do next?] Janis: [well his phone needs to be blowing up on the sly once they're remotely paying attention to anything else again] Jimmy: [yeah they're probably trying to get a snuggly little nap in as well how rude] Janis: [when his phone always blows up low-key and obvs you've always wanted to know but not your place but I feel like he'd act different somehow from when it's just basic DMs or fam so she's like oh but obvs still saying nothing] Jimmy: [I had the most heartbreaking mental image of him smiling or loling at his phone and I'm like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING YOU HUSSY] Janis: [just like brb need something from their tent like you ever do 'cos gotta go] Jimmy: [when that doesn't strike you as weird because you too busy reading whatever bs this gal is all up in your inbox with boy no] Janis: [asking grace to do your makeup so you've got an excuse to be an age] Jimmy: [when she'd be so ???!! because when does that ever happen but she's not gonna say anything like what's wrong in front of the others] Janis: [we sitting there in silence like mia don't start] Jimmy: [she'd be so annoyed so a big part of Grace would be thinking that's why Janis asked because she did promise she'd annoy Mia whoever she can but she's not stupid so she knows its not just that hence her revenge against community service girl later because even if that's not it, it's not helping and that's her sister you hoe] Janis: [just like well you must be having a great chat, Jimothy, don't even care where I am or what I'm doing, great] Jimmy: [that said I am gonna have him hit her up like ? when it's been ages so I'll do that rn] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: party never stops Jimmy: you're still next door then? Janis: yep Janis: 💄💅💇 takes time Jimmy: if you get ✨ in my sleeping bag I'm dumping you Jimmy: you would look 🥇 wearing 🌹 in your hair though Jimmy: proper renaissance verona #aesthetic I reckon Jimmy: Bill will be well chuffed Janis: don't think that's the era we're bringing back here Janis: but yeah, give her your notes Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: UGH won't bother asking her to do me next Janis: you're not invited Janis: 💔 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: they are Jimmy: but they can't stop me nipping round to borrow a cup of sugar or whatever bollocks good neighbours are supposed to let you have Janis: oh yeah Janis: dead likely to have sugar Janis: ask about carbs whilst you're getting kicked out Jimmy: hair straighteners then Jimmy: the what don't matter Janis: you won't be able to breathe for hairspray Janis: go enjoy the delightful weather Jimmy: how long are you gonna be? Janis: depends Jimmy: on what? Jimmy: how decent the setting spray is? Janis: no, how much you keep chatting Janis: and why do you know what setting spray is Jimmy: I'll call you then, you can put me on speaker Jimmy: and 'cause I've had a girlfriend before Janis: never hear you over them and their 'music' Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I get it, you're being tortured Jimmy: but I can save you Janis: I won't be that long Janis: no need for heroics or dramatics, boy Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: just every need for you to have Bill turning in his ⚰ with that blasphemy, yeah? Janis: he's your imaginary friend more than he is mine 👻💕 Jimmy: so you don't want custody when we break up? 👻💔 Janis: you're alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [some time] Janis: you good to go? Jimmy: depends Janis: ? Jimmy: 1. where 2. who with 3. what have they done to you Janis: 1. mainstage 2. who do you think and who did you have in mind 3. dramatic, sure she's put a selfie up by now Jimmy: 1. if I have to 2. you and not them 3. stop saying that like it's a bad thing, dickhead Janis: 1. sure you can convince the alternative act in the 2nd tent is gonna be more fun 2. I'll be there and all 3. soz, it's so wonderful I 💗 it Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: [squad rolling out, at least you wouldn't have let Grace go cray with your look so you aren't looking a state, not the mood here ty] Jimmy: [she gonna look good Grace knows what she's doing and Jimothy gonna notice so hard bye] Janis: [ah the awks of treating this like a mission like you need to be up front or something like you suddenly care] Jimmy: [the joys of how much he doesn't know what's going on so he's just being their normal] Janis: [oh boy, meanwhile we getting on it hard, like thanks for the drinks, strangers, we do not care] Jimmy: [like that's registering with him but as per he just thinks she's over the flat whites cos hard same for him always] Janis: [it's a good cover honestly] Jimmy: [and we know he's getting on it too because still got that fam drama and guilt that only gets worse the longer he's away] Janis: [we're just partying, this is casual] Jimmy: [I just imagine Grace like 👀 at them both lowkey trying to work out why the vibe's off cos she don't know yet] Janis: [try and be subtle gal, she will not be happy lol] Jimmy: [contrary to popular belief she can do subtle lol] Janis: [the front was a mistake 'cos obvs community service will be there for the photos] Jimmy: [we see you giving him the eye gal even if he hasn't noticed] Janis: [you're 'working' focus] Jimmy: [literally though and more importantly if you're gonna look then see his blatant 😍 for his bae cos she looks good as hell thank you] Janis: [heading out for a piss, like we all know you aren't finding your way back through a crowd for time/if ever] Jimmy: ? Janis: 🚽 Janis: doing it in a bottle and lobbing it isn't an option for the fairer sex Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy, yeah Jimmy: would've come with you, that is Janis: told you the trick now, you don't need to Janis: keep 🕺🙌🎉 Jimmy: my turn to get tortured now? Janis: don't seem like it Janis: music ain't up to much but you know Janis: all things considered Jimmy: I'd have rather had the contouring done Jimmy: said as much Janis: 🙄 Janis: you don't need contouring, I need a piss Jimmy: what's your sister's problem? Jimmy: keeps 👀 it's weird Janis: fancies you still, obviously Jimmy: so funny you Janis: who's joking Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: she's been all over that dickhead with the 🍕 and 🎸 til a bit ago Janis: so? Janis: 💔 you ain't her one and only Jimmy: obvs yeah Janis: she ain't fussy Jimmy: makes one of us that does Janis: ha Janis: alright Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm well fussy, me Janis: you picked her so not fussy enough it's gonna get in the way Jimmy: what? Janis: what do you mean what Janis: only so many ways to say that Jimmy: What are you saying it for? Jimmy: that were a game and it were ages ago Janis: alright, ignore it then Janis: joke fit Jimmy: Nah, how about you answer me Janis: I did Janis: joke Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🤣👮 Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: that don't make it funnier Janis: gutted Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: such a 🥇 taste in humour, you Jimmy: I'm northern, we're #blessed there's owt at all Janis: meant to give you a sense of humour along with the chip on your shoulder Jimmy: is it? Janis: yep Jimmy: go on and @ my dad with what a disappointment I am there Jimmy: been running a tally for ages Janis: write it down yourself and get a routine going Jimmy: to have no dickhead 🤣? you're alright Jimmy: got that already without putting 🖋 to paper Janis: got your fans Janis: taste not necessary Jimmy: Tah Janis: any time Jimmy: 👍 Janis: less typing more dancing, dickhead Jimmy: I don't have any dickhead to dance with Janis: yeah you do Jimmy: nah Janis: there's a crowd Janis: last I checked Janis: 'less everyone's pissed off Jimmy: 🤞🖤 Janis: yeah Janis: that's the spirit Janis: dance like no one's watching, probably got that on a shirt Jimmy: the tall one 100% has Janis: irony lost on them as well as sarcasm Jimmy: real tragedy that Janis: not as tragic as her dancing Jimmy: nowt could be Janis: not seen my sister;s Janis: don't tell her, she'll be devvo Jimmy: 👀 it now Jimmy: hang on, I'll shout her Janis: go ahead Jimmy: better trained than my 🐕 her Jimmy: comes right when you say her name Janis: fuck off Jimmy: what? Janis: not funny Jimmy: is a bit Jimmy: you'd know if you were here Janis: glad I'm missing out Jimmy: I get it, you must've seen her 😭 loads Janis: duh Jimmy: you've been ages Janis: 🚽👮 now too are we Jimmy: would obvs go towards ✔ my #ultimate kink Janis: recommend the portaloos then Janis: sights and smells 10/10 on that score Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: gotta queue obvs Janis: not the only pervert around Jimmy: just the 🥇 Janis: prove it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what do you want me to do? Janis: you've got the sick 🧠 Janis: why have I got to think of the task Jimmy: you set the challenge Jimmy: come on, don't be 🙀 Janis: I'm not Jimmy: tell me then Jimmy: ⏲💪🏆 Janis: I dunno Janis: not gonna make you do anything you don't wanna do, am I Jimmy: how do you know I don't wanna? Jimmy: do owt to prove myself, me Jimmy: I ain't scared Janis: well if you do wanna then you can just do it Janis: I cba to facilitate that Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: call me what you want Jimmy: Hey, what's wrong? Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Janis: good for you Janis: I'm fine, bored of this shit Jimmy: we can leave them to it for a bit, when you come back Janis: I'm already back at the tent Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: you don't need to Jimmy: Do you not want me to or what? Janis: I'm just going sleep so you may as well stay there Jimmy: that weren't what I asked Janis: stop asking questions Janis: I'm fucked Jimmy: fucked how? Jimmy: that can be the last one Janis: how you think Janis: 🍻🍹🥃 Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: you're not Janis: yeah I am Janis: how'd you know Jimmy: we're 🗨 Jimmy: and I've 👀 you pissed before Janis: Autocorrect pretty sound Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll be there in a sec Janis: fine Janis: do what you like Jimmy: Why are you fuming at me? Jimmy: I just wanna check you're alright Janis: yeah, make it sound like an obligation Janis: I said I was going kip, not lying in a pool of my own sick Jimmy: calm down Janis: just stop, alright Jimmy: What, giving a shit about you? Jimmy: No Janis: being so Janis: you know Jimmy: bollocks do I Janis: just stop Jimmy: you Jimmy: stop saying that Jimmy: I haven't done nowt Janis: stop talking Janis: I wanna go to sleep Jimmy: properly talk to me Jimmy: how about that? Janis: No Janis: I've got nothing to say right now Jimmy: why? Jimmy: it don't make sense Janis: if it don't to you that ain't my problem, alright Jimmy: what the fuck does that mean? Janis: that if you're that oblivious then there's nothing I can do about it Jimmy: to what? Janis: now you're just trying to piss me off Jimmy: now you're just being a twat Janis: then leave me alone Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: if you're so bothered Jimmy: I don't get this Jimmy: you Janis: yeah Jimmy: What kind of answer is that? Jimmy: and you say I'm a headfuck Janis: you expect me to sit and explain myself Jimmy: why not? Janis: 'cos what kind of fucking question is that Jimmy: a valid one Jimmy: what's changed, when the fuck did it? Jimmy: there's some others Janis: I don't want to do this right now Jimmy: me an' all but you come out of their tent and you're a different lass Janis: called a makeover Jimmy: it ain't about what's been put on your face Jimmy: sort your head out Janis: don't fucking tell me to sort my head out Janis: who the fuck are you to Jimmy: Or what? Jimmy: great question though, babe, who the fuck am I? Jimmy: some mug again, do you reckon? Janis: Yeah, or what me too, that'll help Jimmy: Go on, what would? Jimmy: I don't need this bollocks from you Janis: How many times have I told you to leave it and go away Janis: if you don't need it, there's your solution Jimmy: how many times have you said you give a shit? Jimmy: words or no words Jimmy: so we're here for a second go, what's changed? Janis: well you say a lot of shit too Jimmy: is that it? Jimmy: what did I say? Janis: No Janis: you say shit that you then prove you don't actually mean Jimmy: like? Janis: you should know Janis: not make me sit here and fucking spell it out like a twat Jimmy: well I don't Janis: then forget about it Janis: you don't have to say anymore bullshit and I won't believe it Jimmy: if that's what you reckon this is, there's nowt I can say Jimmy: come talk to me when you know what the fuck you want me to try and prove Janis: what I reckon is you say all the shit you say to me but literally moments after we've been together you're more concerned messaging someone else and saying shit to them to notice anything about me Jimmy: ? Jimmy: this is about Becca then Janis: Becca, is it Janis: how would I fucking know Jimmy: you spoke to her this morning, maybe that'd be how Janis: no I fucking didn't Janis: and she's never talked to me either Jimmy: I were there Jimmy: yeah you did and yeah she did Janis: Piss off Jimmy: you Jimmy: all of this is about her? Janis: if you're this stupid, happily Jimmy: it's me being stupid? not a chance, mate Janis: It's incredible you ever get laid if this is how bad you are at taking a hint Jimmy: it's even bloody more so that you still can't get your head round this after we've been over it when you had your two previous strops about her Janis: fuck off Jimmy: yeah I will do Jimmy: 'cause what more can I say or do Janis: Try not being a patronizing cunt in the future Jimmy: what future's that? The one where me and Becca run off into the sunset or? Janis: yeah, keep trying Jimmy: yeah, that's what this is, you putting me on trial for nowt Jimmy: it's such bollocks Janis: it's not Janis: you think and respond how you like Jimmy: fuck responding to any of this Jimmy: Asia's ex boyfriend had a better argument than you're bothered with Janis: yeah well if you want to be as much of a cunt as Asia, do it on your own time Jimmy: nearly there according to you, just swap patronising for owt she can spell Jimmy: thick'll work, you've said that one enough Janis: if it fits, have at it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hypocrite is a great one and all Janis: two-faced, if you wanna stick with their vernacular Jimmy: 'course I do Jimmy: peas in a pod, us Jimmy: another load of bollocks you've stuck with Janis: show me where you ain't and I'd take it back Jimmy: if you need showing, you're more of a headcase than I gave you earlier credit for Jimmy: and I'll give you another 🏆 for it Janis: you want headcase, you had a fight with Harry, I've not fucking touched her Jimmy: neither have I Jimmy: you gonna pretend you've not touched him? Janis: so as long as there's no touching, it don't count Janis: like it's not a strop when you do it Janis: alright, yeah, go along with those rules, sounds fair Jimmy: it's not a strop when it's your ex Jimmy: she's nowt to me Jimmy: neither's your sister Jimmy: neither's Asia Jimmy: Do you want me to go on or what? Janis: he isn't my ex, actually Janis: and she doesn't intend to stay nothing, just because you've not realized doesn't mean I'll sit here and pretend I ain't so you reckon I'm chill Jimmy: call him what you want Jimmy: and her Janis: whatever Janis: you're a fucking hypocrite Jimmy: you're fucking Janis: you've said enough Janis: I'll read it back and make a list Jimmy: you can crack on with that when you've slept it off Jimmy: won't be about distracting you Janis: yeah I don't plan to stick around either Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [well that was a fun time but I don't think there's anything else I can say sadly] Janis: [probably not] Jimmy: [we should 1000% say he gets a lift back with community service girl though cos you know that bitch would offer #keen thank god her friends are also there cos I don't trust you gal] Janis: [yeah she's already hitched a ride in this convo like weren't hanging about, the flat whites will be thrilled] Jimmy: [Grace will be losing her mind] Janis: [soz 'cos we know she's not going home] Jimmy: [literally trying to phone her constantly even though you know she won't answer babe and what are you gonna say if she did anyways] Janis: [fun times] Jimmy: [Cali are gonna be thrilled af] Janis: [like she already weren't coming to the house low-key never mind not coming back to town] Jimmy: [and we said this is near the end of the hols so that makes it worse like school be looming] Janis: [basically] Jimmy: [at least the flatwhites don't know that jj didn't leave together because he's not gonna be hanging around waiting for them to wake up and fill them in on his plans, like Grace will know cos she'll see him with that hoe like we said but she's not telling the squad] Janis: [like you'll know if you get to school and she ain't about but 🤞 lads] Jimmy: [yeah depending how long we drag the angst out but for right now you're still #goals and Mia is fuming about it] Janis: [realistically CS isn't waiting any time to make a move so it wouldn't take long to out] Jimmy: [exactly dr phil and we know they highkey too so] Janis: [bit awks when you gotta be like oh u right but that's the path you chose jimothy] Jimmy: [when you're so focused on the bae that you don't see any other girls trying to get their claws in, oh sir] Janis: [what fun, look forward to that]

[morningfears]

or. w-what about dbf’s!cashton a-and they’re both exhibitionists and mean doms but ashton’s meaner cause duh and he’s more verbal and dgaf. i mean i feel like they both wouldn’t care but ashton would be quicker to start it. i have no fucking clue what the prompt/request was but 🤭👀

This is long so it’s under a read more, sorry! But let me know what y’all think?

It was, “I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice. But where’s the fun in that?” And my idea was her being annoyed at having to be home for the Fourth of July because she wanted to go to the beach with her friends (she’s a junior/about to be a senior in college so about 21?) and she’s a bit bratty. Like, smiling and nice to everyone but a little pouty and, like, clearly over it when no one is talking to her. And she’s in the kitchen when he comes in and her mom greets him and she’s, just, perking up instantly because she’s always found her dad’s best friend so attractive. And she’s, like, well. At least now I’ll have something to look at. And he kind of teases her, he’s always been nice to her (not in a creepy way, just genuinely nice) but this time, he can see the look in her eyes and he knows just how attractive she finds him. So, he decides to have a little fun with her. When her mom takes the tray out to the grill, he just kind of grins at her and asks her why she’s pouting and she tells him that she wants to be at the beach with her friends, having fun. and he tells her that she can have fun here. And she just rolls her eyes and is, like, not likely. But he’s got a hand on her thigh (she thinks it’s just him being himself, you know, but he’s testing the waters). And he takes that as a challenge, tbh. So he goes and mingles for a bit, he definitely checks her out when she takes off the clothes covering her bikini, and when she gets in the pool, he decides to get in, too. They’re not alone, obviously, but they’re just kind of doing their own thing and it’s not weird because they’ve always been chatty and he tells her that line. And then they go to his place and fuck. And it’s right next door so they have to be quiet.

BUT. With Cashton. Most of the plot stays the same. They arrive together, both of them kind of tease her in the kitchen. Calum is a little more playfully mocking, exaggerating a pout. Ashton is the one that doesn’t give a fuck. He’s got a hand on her thigh, just, “Aw, poor baby. Stuck here with the old folks while your friends are getting shitfaced on a beach.” And she just rolls her eyes but they stand there and chat for a bit, them talking with some of the other people in the kitchen, and as the kitchen starts to clear out, she opens a snap from one of her friends and she doesn’t realize they’re, like, looking over her shoulder. And it’s basically her friend sandwiched between these two guys and the message is something dumb, like, “Pray for me. Nothing’s wrong, I’m just not going to be able to walk tomorrow.” And then another that’s, like, more scandalous and a mirror selfie of her friend with these two dudes all over her and she’s, like, “Wish you were here.” And reader’s response is, “God, I wish that were me.” And Cashton are, like, hm. So, they leave the kitchen and go mingle with the men and she decides to get in the pool. They wait a few minutes but then Ash gets in with her, no one is really paying them any attention, while Cal takes a seat on the edge. And Ash is a little more forward, “You still look bored, doll. You wishing you were in your friends place? Getting fucked by two strangers in some shitty hotel at the beach?” When she blinks at him, he just grins and Calum tells her that they saw the snaps. And she decides to be bold and nods and Ash tells her that they’re not strangers and this isn’t a shitty hotel at the beach but they can make her dreams come true. And she doesn’t believe him. She thinks he knows about her crush on them and is just fucking with her. But when he slips his hand between her thighs, taps her bikini bottoms, and says the line, she’s, like. Shit. This is real. And full on agrees. She’s, like, yes. Please. But they make her work for it. He tells her that bratty little girls don’t get what they want and that she better change her attitude if she wants them. So she’s a lot nicer and better behaved for the time they stay. But they can both see her pressing her thighs together, just squirming. And part of her thinks they were joking but they give her little treats. Ash talks to her, whispers dirty things in her ear every time he passes her. Calum brushes her ass, brushes her chest, as they pass one another. Once, Ash gets so bold as to slip his hand into her bottoms and touch her. And as they’re leaving, Ash tells her to come to his place. Give them a few minutes, make sure her parents don’t get suspicious, but to come over. And she does and they go in. Like. He asks her what her limits are and she tells him that they can do absolutely anything to her. If she says stop, obviously stop, but otherwise. Fair game. She tells them she likes pain, likes anal, likes double penetration, likes to be degraded so they do. Ash calls her a slut, asks her if her parents know what their little girl is into. Asks her how her dad would feel about her fucking two men old enough to be him. And I feel like Calum would like to be called sir (when she was nineteen, he saw her in this little plaid skirt and she called him sir and he had to go home and masturbate because it was so fucking hot) and Ash would fully make her call him daddy. Like, absolutely, just as a power move. And they would 100% DP her. And I feel like Cal would go in raw, fuck her ass with no condom, and Ash would either cum inside her ass or make her blow him to finish him off. And they would leave her covered in marks, covered in cum, dazed and fucked out. And they’d take a picture for her to send to her friend so she could be, like, “Wishes do come true.” BYE.

With just one of them, it would be the same plot. Just. One of them. So, Cashton or Calum or Ashton?

[justanearth-boundmisfit]

Ok vent/rant time. 

I’m reading lots of positivity police fans, blaming Cas stans for the poor ratings spn is getting. And *takes a deep breath* what the fucking hell?

If we watch but we discuss how poorly Cas is treated, we are told that we don’t know how to watch the show. 

If we say that we are going to watch just for Cas we are told that we are bitter and the “dark side of the fandom” for not liking the whole cast.

If we say we are going to watch, and then don’t agree with the positivity police, we are told to stop watching all together....

We stop watching... and now you are also bitching about us? Lmao! Make up your mind already ffs!!!

Newsflash: you don’t control how people want to watch or who is their fave or if they want to move on to better shows that really make them happy. It just... doesn’t work that way ok?

Some of us have been telling these new metas how the absence of Cas and their ongoing clapping of him being dead, away with no reason, sidelined with no storyline, was going to hurt not only Cas, but the whole storyline in the end. And here we are. Now I’m not one to point fingers and say “I told you so”, but...

People are tired of being baited, of seeing their fave character killed for man!pain, or because of some stupid endgame! that is only happening on meta and subtext (super extra) writing and reading. People are also tired of seeing Cas hurt, being the nanny, sent to Syria because reasons, not being able to defend himself at all, bleeding, tortured, forgotten... and all the bs that these past three years he has been put through. And above all people are tired of living through parallels and placebo!cas... I don’t give a fuck that Mary was wearing a trenchcoat! I prefer Cas being in the episode thank you very much. 

Now I also heard the excuse “but Misha said he doesn’t want to be in more episodes!”. Excuse you? When did he said that, in that meet and greet that some fan asked him if he was ok to have more free time and he said that yes he was happy to have more free time, but that TPTB never asked him to be in more episodes.?.. So get the fuck out with that excuse. They never even gave him the option. Instead they brought back Pellefucker, that 99% of the fandom said NO to, they brought back a whole bunch of old characters with storylines that make no sense at all. They have 100 story arcs that nobody know what to do with (they even messed Michael!Dean in a way that was an utter disaster), and the show keeps sinking and sinking. But that somehow is because Cas’ stans stopped watching? Again: lmao! Cry me a river!

Also let’s say that Misha doesn’t want to be in more eps, let’s take that lie as true. Why the fuck the little time he is on screen his storyline sucks BIG TIME? To have little screen time doesn’t immediately translate to being the punching bag of the whole fucking show, thank you very much. A character can have little screen time, but be written so well that you still feel their presence even when they are not on an episode. Hell! There are tons of shows with big fucking ensemble cast that do this, and they are awesome! So another excuse that is totally pointless.

Now they are using him, again, in that horrible double Jano poster. Guess what? Another baiting. Because Misha and Cas are only ok to use when they need promotion and that’s it. Inside the show, and more so in Dabb’s era they dgaf about him. Sorry not sorry. And this is more obvious when you see how many wincest and onlybros fans are behind the show, Jason Fisher showing it VERY CLEARLY on his twitter this week. 

Positivity police, doesn’t really know what they want. Or better yet, they want everybody to watch the show, but only in the way they see it. The gods forbid that you have a different opinion or view! Or that you have a fave! 

And when lots of people said enough with this bs! Somehow they come to attack again, when they were the ones that wanted us to go in the first place. Again: cry me a fucking river!

Between bronlies, the positivity police, the new metas that clapped when Cas died because endgame! and parallels! they all have killed Cas. And that’s the tea. Sorry not sorry. Some of us have been here shouting to the rooftops how damaging all that shit was to our fave angel, especially metas claiming that Cas being awol was better. And now you dare to put the blame on Cas bitter stans?

FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. 

TPTB destroyed a beautiful character (and also a beautiful ship but that’s for another rant) and you helped them to do so. Don’t come crying now because your show is losing viewers. You all made that happen. 

[forthebetterevil]

the fattest personal ramble i’ll ever post on this hellsite coz i need to get it out of my system

about heart flutters and confusion from an asexual who has yet to figure out (or is very close to figuring out through this ramble?) her romantic orientation

okay so let me get this out of the way: i’m asexual. specifically autochorrisexual. shipping brings me joy and those nasty (but not TOO nasty...) E-rated fics are what i’m down for, but i balk at the thought of my own self being involved in any sex-related activity. i have never wanted to engage in sexual acts with anyone in my life, and i swear i have TRIED to think about it, daydream about it, to “test” if my mind can really fathom the act of sex upon my own body.... i can’t. my mind literally snuffs out the mental image of sex when i am the subject, as if it isn’t possible, and especially since i don’t desire it. (i’m pretty okay with imagining 2 OTHER people getting down on each other tho.) i’m asexual so i don’t actually know what sexual attraction is, but i did try to search a bit on what that feeling is, and i’m not gonna lie, i can’t relate a single bit fam, which further helps me solidify my asexual identity.

that solidification didn’t come easy. i had to go through countless rounds of considerations, to try to pick apart the str8 agenda that society and mass media have been feeding me for as long as i lived. but once i realised this label worked far better for me than any other label in the lgbtq spectrum, i was like, yes! i found it! i found me. and i have never found anything contradictory to the label that i found for my sexuality. so that’s gr8 m8 8/8 coz that gave me the feeling of security of knowing myself, and i could read up on similar experiences through other asexual people online and not feel like i’m just immature for my age or whatever crap people think of asexuals (i didn’t read what aphobes on tumblr have to say because why would i want to make myself upset when i’m just living my life...).

whoops i rambled but YEAH SO I’M ASEXUAL. (thanks tumblr for introducing this concept to me, for once, because without tumblr i would just be confused and irritated i’m not feeling things that i “should”)

as some of you might know, if you’ve done some digging about your sexuality, a common theme that pops up in explanations is the distinction between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. i already got the latter nailed down, hooray for me.

what’s romantic attraction then? this question would push me down the rabbit hole and end in me still pummelling but now into a bottomless water body where the surface i hit is the question, “what’s LOVE, then?”

i lazily decided i wouldn’t need to deal with romantic attraction if i never experienced it, so i just didn’t define my romantic orientation. lol. i mean, i only had a crush once in my life and that was when i was 9-years-old but that little “infatuation” lasted for about 10 years because that’s how fixated i get on things (and as it turns out, people) i favour LMAO so...?? during the period of my asexuality discovery and general maturation, i figured i only liked him for that long because of the IDEA of what i THOUGHT he was like --- i didn’t speak to him for extended periods of time during those 10 years, so clearly who my heart wants isn’t him, but just what i thought he would be like (something like the “perfect man”, but mixed in with his “flaws” i knew i could tolerate, because he’s human too and i try to be reasonable).

and it was also then that i learnt Love was a Choice. SO. i let go. i still look up to him and stuff, but i’m not going to let that millennium-long crush take up unnecessary space at the back of my mind anymore.

i was putting my bets on grayromantic or demiromantic, but this time i wasn’t, and couldn’t be, as sure of my identification as i was when i knew i was asexual. i don’t know. i can’t say it’s because i yearn for affection because frankly speaking i can go without it, i can be quite detached and can remain that way for a long time. maybe it’s because i didn’t want to dismiss the possibility of experiencing a (generally) positive feeling poets wax lyrical about. i mean nothing wrong if you’re aromantic, but i felt like i had the CAPACITY to love romantically. whatever that meant.

k i’ve rambled enough. long story short, someone new caught my eye (not literally lmao looks ain’t shit to me), and i don’t know what to make of it. so here’s my confusion.

(pardon me for coming off like a 13-year-old with a crush, but i legitimately thought about all this shit over the past few weeks)

his personality is lively and charming (to me!). his humour isn’t totally in sync with mine, but i can still chuckle along. he’s not a toxic hetero dude (yeah low bar but i just had to put it out there), he supports the LGBTQ+ community (i don’t know his sexual orientation but it doesn’t matter to me). he has Intellectual Opinions that aren’t obnoxious or are spewed to seem like a smartass or edgelord. he puts effort into his endeavours, he has a good attitude in general. oh and here’s the best part: i can’t properly gauge if i caught HIS eye, but if i did, he’s not showing it in creepy ways that other boys have. (small example: we all stay in something like a hostel. i offer to buy a snack from the convenience store for this dude who happened to be studying in a common area on my level at 2am (lol what’s a sleep schedule m’pals), because i’m going to go there at that very moment. mind you this dude and i have only recently been acquainted. dude says no thanks. i’m like okay. i go to the convenience store. i picked my items from the shelf, turn around, and BAM, HE’S RIGHT THERE. “um didn’t you say you didn’t want anything?” “oh no i just thought of following you here. it’s late.” you think it’s sweet or some shit but no because the convenience store is located within the university grounds and our country has one of the lowest crime rates ever so the reason he was giving was pretty illogical, no one does this shit. now i’m socially obligated to feel thankful for your chivalry or some shit??? i hate that. these dudes don’t ever fucking consider the context of chivalry before acting on it, did you legitimately think i would be comfortable and safer with you, a mere acquaintance, “accompanying” me to the store. ugh. ok whoops i digressed.)

here i admit, my heart flutters when i see him. so now i ask myself... is this infatuation, or do i legitimately want to be in a romantic relationship with him? wait, what’s a romantic relationship? WAIT, WHAT IS LOVE? (tw1ce kpop fans gtfo of my post lmao)

i proceed to analyse my behaviour towards him to try to determine if it’s legitimate romantic attraction. heart flutter, check. stumble over words, check. spew dumb shit in front of him, check. try to subtly catch his attention in a group setting, check. actually play along with his teasing, check. actually initiating conversations with him with HIM as the subject, check. (please note that after one too many creepy dudes’ advances after i try to be friendly and open and bubbly and polite because that’s just how i am, i consciously made an effort NOT to ask questions about THEM in any conversation i had to engage in with them because i frankly dgaf about their lives and i don’t want to make them think i did. i only used to ask out of courtesy because they asked me something first. but now i’m like fuck that. in my current situation, i actually still do not really care about what he does if it doesn’t concern me LMAO, but i ask just to give the impression that i do.) wishing i could see him for one more time, check.

BUT WAIT! i could wave that away with the explanation that i’m infatuated with him. i don’t know what romantic attraction REALLY is, but i’m going to take a leap of faith and guess it entails stuff like, do i want him to be my confidante and vice versa, do i want to hang out with him at the end of a long day - is that more tiring for me, or is that going to be rejuvenating, etc etc i’m basically basing my expectations of a romantic relationship on behaviours of a happily and healthily married couple, which i suppose COULD be misguided, but i don’t know any better...

so, do i?

but FUCK, BECAUSE I DON’T EVEN KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION. i don’t know my own preference. “um yeah that’s why you date, to get to know the other person better and shit” ssSSHHH!! i don’t jump into Big Things like relationships unless i’m REALLY sure it’s not going to end in a disaster (plus depleted social capital that i could’ve avoided depleting... ugh We Live In A Society)

right now the issue i’m griping about isn’t whether i’m gonna end up happily ever after with him. i’m venting my confusion here because i don’t know how seriously i should take these feelings towards another person. it’s occupying a LOT of space in my mind and it’s honestly getting in the way (mental effort, time, focus) and i have other things to do. i just want peace of mind.

confusing emotions are useless.

[monochrome-typewriter]

“Near and I can’t work together because we don’t get along. We’re always competing.”

No. No, Mello, that’s just you. Near’s totally up for working with you, but he’s not gonna push the issue if you don’t wanna. He dgaf. He just wanna do the play games and solve puzzles and not ride on the airplane by himself.

Sometimes I think that the number of fucks Near does not give pissed Mello off, but other times I think he genuinely has no idea that this is even possible. A person with absolutely no fucks to give who still manages to be intelligent and successful and does not wish to lord those successes over all those who are clearly inferior to them? Impossible!

I doubt it matters, though. He’d probably read either case as condescending. What, you mean you don’t wanna fight me in a back alley?! Why don’t you wanna fight me in a back alley?! Am I not good enough?!

This is only a Near thing. If you are in no way connected to his feelings of inferiority, you are permitted to not want to fight him in a back alley. If you’re lucky, you may even be given the privilege of being considered a friend that he would regret to see shot in the face. Not being Near is, of course, an important prerequisite that cannot be overlooked.

Tbh, I don’t think I could get along with someone who directs that much constant hostility towards me. I often wonder what Near’s thoughts were about Mello in more detail. The most we get is that he thinks Mello is emotional and impulsive, but likes him anyway.

Y’know...I wonder if they played together a lot and Mello saw it as hostile competition and Near only saw it as playing and considered Mello fun to be around? I could totally see that being the case. Where L and Light were shockingly similar in a lot of ways and had such an intense battle because they understood each other too well, I don’t think Near and Mello have even considered that maybe they’re not quite on the same page in regards to their interactions.

I mean, Near’s willing to put his faith in Mello immediately after having a gun pointed to his head and Mello says that he and Near could never cooperate directly after Near says he’s totally cool with doing that.

It’s delightful. One of the most entertaining instances of two people totally misunderstanding one another. Life must’ve been hard for Matt.

[bthump]

My Big Gay Berserk Analysis 3

Casca’s Role

Part One Part Two

In this post I’m going to discuss how Casca’s narrative role as a love interest overlaps with her narrative role as a substitute for Griffith, how those roles ultimately serve the main story that is the love/hate relationship between Guts and Griffith, and how Miura utilizes her as an emotional/sexual conduit between the two while also conveniently no-homoing them. Plus some additional straightforward stuff on Guts and his crush on Griffith here and there.

Advance warning: this is long. Looooooong. Also be warned that I do touch on the hound and the Eclipse, but only in one section of this post.

I also want to make clear upfront that I love Casca but I dislike the Guts/Casca romance subplot, for many reasons including my general dislike of most het, Guts’ awful treatment of her, and the sense I get that she’s been inserted as a buffer between Guts and Griffith, but mostly because I think the romance was added almost entirely to set up the destruction of Casca as a character for the sake of Guts’ manpain.

So yeah going in you should be aware that this is Guts/Casca negative. I don’t consider their romantic feelings for each other a valuable part of Berserk, and I spend a lot of time calling the legitimacy of those feelings into question. If that sounds like it’ll piss you off but you still want more Guts/Griffith content, you can totally just skip to part 4 without missing any necessary information for that part.

Ok that said, let’s get into it.

We’ll go back to the Golden Age eventually but I’m going to jump ahead first and start at chapter 130, during Guts’ night of self-reflection after he returns to Godo’s cave and finds Casca missing.

Guts is basically having an internal debate about whether or not his revenge rampage was worth abandoning Casca. He eventually emphatically concludes that it was in fact not worth it and he fucked right up when he draws this connection:

Again again again again. I’m starting here because it’s one of the most clear and straightforward examples of Guts viewing Casca as a replacement for Griffith. The connection is drawn explicitly - he considers abandoning Casca to be the equivalent of abandoning Griffith and drawing that parallel is what motivates him to save her.

But despite wanting to start atoning for past mistakes, he still intends to abandon her in a cave again after he gets her back.

“Actually, I only half mean it.”

Cue this #iconic page:

Now I talk about this page all the damn time because of how off the charts gay it is, but more importantly right now is that it draws a strong contrast between Casca and Griffith. It begins with “Just as I got her back... no, in the middle of swinging my sword to get her back...”

In the middle of getting her back... he... saw him. By framing Griffith’s appearance as an interruption that rips his attention away from rescuing Casca, Guts expresses the feeling that he’s torn between them. And of course he is, we see this throughout the rest of the manga, in his internal struggle not to toss Casca aside (or worse) and run after Griffith to, “give him... a heap of raw iron.”

We also see this inner conflict during NeoGriffith’s appearance when this happens:

But as of right now, Griffith has won the fight for Guts’ attention.

Guts’ half truth, as far as I can tell, is that he’s going to help make Godo’s cave a little homier and then take off again after Griffith.

As we saw in chapter 130 he decided to dedicate himself to getting Casca back, and we can assume that he fully intended to give up his revenge quest at that point. Godo tore him a new one over abandoning her to fight monsters, Guts realized he’s been being a dick, and he’s figured that maybe staying and helping take care of Casca is a better way of dealing with his issues than going back on a rampage, especially since last time he saw Femto he couldn’t even come close to touching him.

But then Skull Knight tells him the Godhand are going to be around, there’s going to be another version of the Eclipse, and we see Guts conflicted again:

Anyway Isidro ultimately saves Casca, she and Guts are reunited, and Griffith appears. Maybe Guts’ original plan was to stay with Casca and forget revenge, but now Griffith is reachable, he’s on the same plane of existence, and to top it all off, he’s hot again!

And no I’m not joking, I absolutely think that Guts’ sexual attraction to Griffith is, for the first time since Promrose Hall, being clearly visually conveyed again. I already posted that iconic page in which Guts pictures Griffith’s ass and gets distracted from revenge, but there’s more where that came from.

Griffith's sexiness is genuinely an important plot and thematic point lol, but it’s Guts eyes we’re shown that through, and holy shit does his gaze get a lot of attention in this scene. And why? Because Griffith’s reachable again. When he’s monstrous and demonic he’s out of reach on a whole nother plane of existence and shown as distant and untouchable:

When he’s incarnated as a physical being again he’s said to be “the desired,” he’s so beautiful no one can shut up about it, and imo Guts’ temptation to pursue him now that he’s “where [his] sword can reach,” is tied to the sexual temptation on display here.

Basically, while he’s certainly not intending to pursue Griffith so he can literally fuck him, there are blatant sexual undertones to his desire for revenge that ramp up hard and fast real soon, and they start with Griffith’s sexy as fuck rebirth.

And to elaborate on how the depiction of Griffith is a huge contrast here to the depiction of Casca:

Casca is shown at her least sexualized. She’s wrapped in a shapeless cloak and mirroring Erika, depicted as utterly childlike.

And this is Griffith:

Griffith is the temptation, he’s the one Guts wants to pursue, and Casca is the responsibility, and this is shown loud and clear through Griffith’s intense desirability and Guts’ enthrallment at the sight of him vs Casca’s desexualized childishness.

As for the Hill of Swords reunion

“More like someone out of a fairytale.”

Not overly relevant but it’s a fun detail that “He was so pretty” is on Guts’ face while “someone out of a fairytale” is on Griffith’s image.

That sound - like Griffith’s apparent acknowledgement, at long last, is a physical blow. Love it.

But of course then Griffith’s like, I came to see you to test my capacity for emotion, and it looks like this whole emotionless demon thing was a success. And this is Guts’ reaction - not rage, or at least, not solely rage, but so much hurt too:

Look at those sad eyebrows man. This scene thoroughly shows us how emotionally conflicted and confused Guts is. He’s angry, he’s hurt, he’s full of longing both for revenge and for “the way he he used to be,” and after everything he still wants acknowledgement, he still wants Griffith to look at him.

“I’ll not betray my dream. That is all.”

And it’s now that Guts finally attacks. So far he’s let Rickert hold him back, then shoved him away only to scream “you don’t feel anything?!” instead of rushing him. But when NeoGriff tells Guts in no uncertain terms that his dream is not only more important, but his sole priority, Guts snaps.

I do think it’s really easy to read this scene as Guts looking for a hint that Griffith still cares about him, along with the hope that he feels regret for what he’s done. Guts had a lot of misconceptions about Griffith’s feelings, but by the time of the Eclipse he’d realized that Griffith loved him - he’d left to seek something (love and respect and affection, friendship and equality) he already had and, in leaving, lost it.

Scroll back up to that first picture I posted, he says it right there: “Did I lose something before I even noticed it again?! Without even realizing I’d thrown it from the palm of my hand!” There’s a small part of him that was still hoping, now that Griffith is un-demonized, that his heart and his love had returned with his human body, that it’s not lost forever. But in declaring that he’s free, NeoGriffith shoots that hope down.

Anyway big fight, cave collapses, Griffith’s heart starts doing shit unbeknownst to Guts, he mysteriously saves Casca and takes off, and Guts

says he won’t abandon Casca again and decides to escort her to Elfhelm, with his dickish reluctance handily pointed out by Decent Person Puck lol.

Now look at this shit:

“Weren’t those Godo’s parting words?” Says Guts to Rickert to convince him to stay with Erika.

“You should have known. This is the man I am.”

Don’t abandon what you can’t replace. He finally learned that lesson when he compared abandoning Casca to abandoning Griffith. He frames his choice to stay with Casca as making up for it. Guts once deserted Griffith, now Griffith has deserted him, so he’s promising not to desert Casca. Given that Guts’ mind is solely on deserting and being deserted by Griffith, as opposed to that time when he left Casca in a cave for two years and she wandered off, “I won’t desert you anymore. This time... I won’t lose you,” is given a double meaning of applying to Casca while also referencing losing Griffith.

But what’s with that interlude up there of Guts remembering Griffith saving Casca? The man Guts “knows” NeoGriffith is, the man who dgaf about anything except his dream, isn’t the man who would randomly decide to save Casca from falling rocks. Guts is shown thinking about that apparent contradiction immediately before “I won’t leave you behind. I won’t... desert you anymore.”

Taken all together, to me this scene comes across as so utterly Griffith centric that it makes Casca feel like an afterthought, conveniently there so Guts can take some form of action in response to his extremely Griffith-centred emotions.

Guts charlie brown walks away because Griffith “deserted” him. Guts draws a comparison between abandoning Griffith and abandoning Casca, and being abandoned by NeoGriffith and refusing to abandon Casca. Guts remembers NeoGriffith saying he knows what kind of man he is right before recalling him saving Casca.

Then he declares he won’t desert her again - and I have to wonder if part of what gives him the willpower to take a break from his revenge quest despite NeoGriffith residing so temptingly in his plane of existence now is the ambiguity of NeoGriffith’s actions here, casting “the kind of man” he is now into doubt and deflating Guts’ rage boner the same way he says seeing NeoGriffith looking “so human... the way he used to be” makes him forget his “urge to kill.” It hardly seems like a stretch given how much of Guts’ decision here is explicitly shown to be about Griffith.

So far, post-Eclipse, Casca’s been treated as a prop for Guts’ internal conflict between revenge and not being a dick - a symbol of his lingering humanity. She exists to be put into peril so Guts can decide to save her and then waver between her and Griffith. She’s the poster girl for failing to pass the sexy lamp test. It’s real depressing, and it’s about to get worse.

Enter Beast of Darkness.

Now we’re at the really bad shit, but also the actual most explicit verbal suggestion of Guts’ sexual attraction to Griffith, so it’s impossible to skip in a post on the topic. Plus there’s no point pretending that Casca isn’t done incredibly dirty by both the narrative and Guts.

It’s important to understand that the Hound is Guts. It’s not an evil malicious spirit trying to manipulate and possess Guts (which I have seen suggested before), it’s simply Guts’ dark emotions given substance. Just on the off chance this statement requires support for you, here’s a post on the subject. This scene is pretty much Guts arguing with his id.

And the way it’s framed with “dreams of him?” “let’s go to him” coming first on the image of an eager, excited puppy, followed by the teeth and “heap of raw iron” feels so deliberate to me. Guts wants violent revenge but it’s a feeling complicated by the fact that he loved Griffith, that he once strove to be his equal, to be considered his friend, and now he strives to kill him.

Like Guts facing Femto in the Black Swordsman arc, like Guts pleading for a shred of regret from NeoGriffith, there’s still an element of Guts wanting Griffith’s acknowledgement here.

More direct comparisons between Casca and Griffith and how Guts feels about them. Who’s more precious, your love interest or your arch nemesis?

And I’m not here to say that Guts doesn’t care for Casca and only cares about Griffith. As this scene shows, he’s torn between them, but he’s chosen Casca now, and he’s trying to get his doubts and his rage and his suppressed attraction to Griffith that’s now coming to the surface, coloured by hate, to shut the fuck up. But these are his own doubts.

“The wound Griffith left, because you want to keep feeling the pain he caused you?” Okay, certainly an eyebrow raising description here but all right, this is about Guts’ motivation to kill Griffith. The Hound is suggesting he values Casca only as fuel for his rage. Which certainly seems like a relevant suggestion after Guts’ “I'd forgotten my urge to kill. And that... can’t be.” His rage needs fuel. So while that’s surely not all there is to his feelings for Casca, the Hound isn’t making shit up. Again, this is essentially Guts internally debating what his true motivations are.

Longing. Hell of a word choice. Granted I can’t double check the translation with others because I’m incapable of tracking down old raws (tho I did a cursory search on skullknight.net to see if anyone had criticized the translation of this scene and didn’t find anything) but this is such a boldly romanticized choice of phrasing that I feel it’s safe to assume the undertones are there in the original Japanese. You don’t accidentally describe someone’s urge to kill a dude as “longing” for him. That’s a blatantly deliberate double entendre.

And on top of that it fits right in with the Hound’s first eager, excited words to Guts in this scene. Again, it’s an illustration that Guts’ vengeful feelings are complex, and intertwined with his original feelings for Griffith.

And then the Hound tells Guts to rape Casca so he can get closer to Griffith and I throw up my hands.

There’s so much innuendo and homoeroticism in the lead up to this (including earlier, w/ Griffith’s sexy rebirth scene and the reunion on the Hill of Swords, ft Guts thinking about Griffith’s ass), and then this scene just doubles down as hard as possible. “Let’s give him... a heap of raw iron,” “because you want to keep feeling the pain he caused you,” “she’s a sacrifice so you can continue longing for Griffith,” “you’ll get closer and closer to Griffith.” The innuendo in this scene makes it one of the most homoerotic scenes in the manga.

Like, tl;dr Guts’ vengeful pursuit of Griffith is tied so thoroughly to sex in this nightmare that tbh I have a hard time calling this subtext.

And while it is absolutely homophobic for one of the gayest scenes in the manga to basically tie Guts’ desire for Griffith to his desire for revenge and a suggestion to rape and kill Casca, it’s also worth noting that this isn’t exactly Guts’ desire for revenge being given a dark sexual element.

This is the Beast of Darkness using Guts’ pre-existing desire for Griffith to try to tempt him into sticking a sword in him. Still fucked up, obviously, but it’s at least deeper and more interesting than the alternative.

The earlier parallels I described, Guts comparing leaving Griffith and leaving Casca, etc, draw an emotional connection between Guts and Griffith through Casca as, essentially, a bridge. Guts is assuaging his desire to go back and fix his mistakes by replacing Griffith with Casca and refusing to leave her. Casca has become an outlet for Guts’ feelings about missed opportunities with Griffith.

This chapter draws a very direct sexual connection between Guts and Griffith through Casca as a bridge. By raping the woman Femto raped, Guts can get closer to him.

And it is, of course, not the first time the manga has done this. Femto’s unwavering stare into Guts’ eye(s) during the Eclipse rape scene isn’t subtle, though I don’t intend to go into it in detail as this is about Guts’ sexual desire, not Griffith/Femto’s. I feel like the stare (the fucking stare omg) speaks for itself.

I mention this only to make the point that there’s an established precedent for Casca bearing the brunt of these dudes’ repressed feelings for each other, whether it’s genuinely intended to be interpreted as repressed sexual desire or whether it’s meant to be platonic spite/longing to get closer and closer to Griffith no homo. It’s not fair, it’s bad writing on several levels, it’s both misogynist and homophobic, but there you go.

Ultimately my main takeaway here is that Berserk would be about 500x less fucked up and offensive if Guts and Griffith just cut out the middlewoman and fucked each other.

Okay, that’s enough of that. Let’s go back to the Golden Age.

So far I’ve done my best to show that, post-Eclipse, Guts’ relationship with Casca largely revolves around his feelings for Griffith, both regretful and vengeful, and the fucked-up sexual component of his relationship with her also relates to the sexual component of his relationship with Griffith. So what about pre-Eclipse? Does the same principle hold true then, back when Casca was an actual character and not just a plot device and projection screen for Guts?

And I would argue that it does. It’s less in-your-face about it, but tbh not by a whole lot.

Casca and Guts start off as romantic rivals for Griffith’s affection. Only Casca is aware of this, since Guts’ attraction to Griffith is subconscious and repressed imo, but that’s their early dynamic. Their first emotionally intimate scene together, when they finally stop hating each other and start to bond as friends, is when Casca tells Guts her backstory, which happens to be almost entirely about Griffith.

The Casca chapters end with Casca crying about Griffith having fallen in love with Guts and not her (”Why... why did it have to be you?”), but all Guts manages to get out of Casca’s story is that she’s into Griffith, so after he decides to leave he starts trying to be a good bro and set them up. Finally, right before Guts leaves, Judeau introduces him to the concept of hooking up with Casca.

During the course of this conversation Guts does a kind of 180:

to

“The one who has her eye... is Griffith. That’s why... right now... I’m no good for her... like this.”

This is presented like part of Guts’ motivation for becoming Griffith’s equal is to be worthy of Casca, but we’ve seen his thought process for wanting to be Griffith’s equal, and Casca has never figured into it. He’d completely written her off before this chat with Judeau, as we see at the start, and he certainly never seemed to be consciously aware of the possibility of getting with her. 

He’s been trying to set her up with Griffith for several chapters - pushing her into his arms, mentioning her dress to him, suggesting she ask him to dance, carrying her down to see him after Doldrey, saying “good luck with Griffith,” to her as he heads out, and now telling Judeau he expects them to get together.

There are three possible explanations for this behaviour:

1. Guts just wants to be a good bro and help his friends be happy together. 2. Guts is sublimating his unconscious desire for Casca into trying to hook her up with Griffith. 3. Guts is sublimating his unconscious desire for Griffith into trying to hook him up with Casca.

I think maybe Miura wants us to think it’s #2. Hence Guts’ awkward sweatdrop when Judeau brings her up, hence Guts complimenting her dress before mentioning it to Griffith, hence Guts carrying her down to him bridal style after Doldrey, hence Guts swiveling from “Less a woman I see her as... a comrade,” to “That’s why... right now... I’m no good for her... like this,” within seconds.

Yk, he’s subconsciously attracted to her now and acts on that attraction by trying to hook her up with Griffith to make her happy, but once Judeau tells him that’s not an option, he can admit that he’s attracted to her.

(And, just to throw something out there, once we establish that Berserk has subtextual, repressed sexual desire in this love triangle it only adds more validation to the other combinations. Even if we are genuinely meant to read Guts as unknowingly attracted to Casca, it puts unknowing attraction on the table. Who else might he be unknowingly attracted to? Casca also apparently took some time to recognize her feelings for Griffith as potentially romantic. Lots of subconscious desire wrapped up in this love triangle, I’m js. But lol I digress.)

That said, I’m here to argue that, whatever Miura’s intentions may be (and hell they may be exactly this), it comes across as option #3.

I’ve already gone through the first part of the Golden Age to highlight how Guts looks at him and how visuals suggest attraction. After Promrose, that fades away because Guts no longer views Griffith as reachable, rather, he puts him on a pedestal. Enter Casca, right at the point where Guts is deciding what to do with the “fact” that Griffith doesn’t give a fuck about him.

Suddenly he gets invested in setting Griffith up with Casca, who he views as more worthy of Griffith because she has a dream (be Griffith’s sword) and he doesn’t.

This is when Guts starts pushing them together. He’s encouraging Casca to take his place at Griffith’s side, whether he realizes the implications of that or not - at the very least he knows that Casca believes Griffith feels things for him she wishes he felt for her, even if Guts doesn’t believe that Griffith truly values him.

“Until that day. The day you showed up...”

What’s interesting to me is that Guts recognizes that Casca wants to fuck Griffith lmao. He’s hooking them up romantically, even though Casca never directly says she’s in love with Griffith, and only alludes to her feelings in terms of being pissed off at Guts for stealing Griffith away from her side.

Guts doesn’t believe he himself is close to Griffith after overhearing the Promrose speech, but he seems to realize that Casca is jealous of him, manages to interpret that (correctly) as Casca wanting to bone Griffith, and yet still doesn’t realize that Griffith’s feelings for him may be a lot more significant than he thinks. Feels like repression at work to me.

Guts wants Casca to take his perceived place at Griffith’s side, except Casca’s theoretically able to do so romantically bc she’s a woman, so there’s plenty of heteronormativity at work too, though whether that’s coming from Miura or Guts I can’t say.

So yeah after Judeau explains the plot of Berserk to him and keeps nudging him towards Casca, Guts agrees that maybe he could hook up with her... but only if he becomes Griffith’s equal first.

So the other way of looking at this is that, rather than suddenly changing Guts’ entire motivation out of nowhere from “become Griffith’s equal to be his friend” to “become Griffith’s equal to get with Casca,” and generally being bizarrely terrible writing, this instead neatly situates a future relationship with Casca, in which she sees him as just as good for her as Griffith, as proof that he’s on the road to achieving his goal of becoming Griffith’s equal.

Which holds true later on - Guts and Casca’s relationship is not an endgame for Guts, it’s not his goal, it’s another step. He still intends to go back out and keep pursuing his own dream. He’s still motivated by wanting to be Griffith’s equal.

So yeah, Judeau’s like, whatever, I tried, Guts ducks out, and shit proceeds to go down.

Fast forward a year.

Guts comes back. Casca, interestingly, has taken over Griffith’s most notable narrative role as leader of the Hawks. Everyone sits down around the campfire.

Rickert tries to explain things to Guts:

Look what Judeau does! He’s telling Rickert to shut up.

Judeau is... weirdly invested in Guts and Casca getting together. Setting them up is largely his motivation in the latter half of the Golden Age, as far as I can tell.

After this moment he changes the subject to:

Subtle, Judeau.

I think it’s telling that Guts never comes up with the idea of hooking up with Casca on his own. He’s led to it by resident shipper on board Judeau, every time. The same dude trying to avoid any mention of Griffith’s feelings for Guts now. Why? Because he wants Guts and Casca to leave together after they rescue Griffith, and he has a feeling Guts won’t want to if he figures out how Griffith actually feels about him.

Whether by accident of slapdash writing by Kentaro I actually hadn’t planned for Guts and Casca to get together, you know — it just occurred to me partway through that it’d be more dramatic that way Miura or design, Guts’ interest in Casca comes across as pretty damn narratively forced to me, and the fact that Judeau has to be there to constantly nudge Guts in that direction doesn’t help.

Waterfall time!

Hey here’s something interesting about this scene:

This is when Guts first starts trying to fix his mistakes by substituting Casca for Griffith, imo.

Casca attacks him while screaming that he ruined Griffith by leaving. As the point finally hits home, so does the point of Casca’s sword as Guts, shocked, lets her stab him.

Before Guts can really draw a useful conclusion from Casca’s diatribe, she offers a distraction from the subject at hand by trying to kill herself while bequeathing Griffith to him.

“I couldn’t be a woman. Or something invaluable. To keep on protecting the almost broken dream of someone who might not even be alive...“

Guts didn’t save the last Hawk leader who had a self destructive breakdown after dueling him.

Presented with another person who seems to need him, who is desperate and lost and needs comfort, this time he does something.

And what really makes me believe this is actually, for real the correct reading of this scene - that, to Guts, Casca is a substitution for Griffith here - is that Casca is doing the exact. Same. Thing.

Griffith is (seemingly) unreachable, (seemingly) emotionally and romantically unavailable, but Guts and Casca aren’t.

And they kiss for the first time right after Casca tells Guts how Griffith felt about him, right after Guts lets Casca stab him because of it, right after the memory of Griffith kneeling in the snow, and the beginnings of the realization that by leaving he lost what he set out to earn, hit him, right after Casca tells him that Griffith is his responsibility now. It’s hard not to take that as Guts using Casca as a substitution for Griffith, giving her what he’s now very slowly beginning to realize he should’ve given Griffith.

Guts and Casca getting together here is two people obsessed with the same person trying to offer the other what they couldn’t offer him: comfort. And sex.

Once again a scene that looks like it’s going to be about Casca and Guts, that should be if this was a typical romance, turns out to revolve around Griffith.

And on the subject of Guts leaving Griffith in the snow instead of kneeling down and kissing him the way he responds to Casca much later, how about Griffith going out and getting self-destructively laid while thinking about Guts after the duel? Thematically there’s a very well-defined empty space where Griffith and Guts connecting romantically would’ve fit, is what I’m saying, but they didn’t. They both sought out other sexual connections to compensate for the loss of each other.

Finally, here’s the straightforward account of how Guts and Casca are feeling three days later with Griffith’s imminent return to their lives. Casca confesses to Guts that she’s still jealous of Charlotte, Guts gets pissy, but then thinks:

I hate that you’re still hung up on Griffith but I’d be a huge hypocrite if I got mad because I’m even more hung up on Griffith.

Which pretty much sums it up.

And I think I can stop there. There’s a lot more to say in the lead-in to the Eclipse about Guts’ intense feelings for Griffith, but when it comes to sexual attraction specifically, and how Casca figures into it, I think I’ll call it a day.

I hope I’ve made a decent case for Guts’ feelings for Casca, both positive and hugely fucked up, being largely built out of redirected feelings for Griffith. Whatever the reasons for this - actual authorial intent, intended redirection of Guts’s platonic bro feelings but adding sex bc Casca’s a woman so it’s obligatory without realizing how gay that looks, me totally reading into a half-assed het subplot created for the sake of more Eclipse drama, whatever - this is earnestly how Guts’ relationship with Casca reads to me.

In the final part I’m going to conclude this epic adventure in homoeroticism with what is essentially a “why I ship them,” going into why I think it makes perfect sense, from both a character and a thematic perspective, for Guts to be sexually attracted to Griffith. Stay tuned.

shout out to @mastermistressofdesire bc we’ve had a few conversations about this subject and some of your ideas really helped me coalesce these thoughts. Ty!

Part Four

[zumpietoo]

So I’ll Do the Rest of Snorty’s

drivel tonite, but in the meantime, here’s what I can read.....and all the utterly hilarious notes....

Sooo...Snorty legit can’t walk and chew gum at the same time? Got it.....

While, yes, the shit about his career WAS dull (and he came off as whiny and entitled, a lot like PP, in fact), he WAS asked and this WAS meant to be an interview largely focused on the writing process of the show. 

I didn’t notice much on this....probably cuz I didn’t care. And if your point is that yes, Brian’s a hack (to the point of where in his own “backstory”, I was left wondering if peeps who don’t make it thru the program are really legit THAT bad or actually maybe that good---considering most other CW/Warner shows suck ass, too)....in fact, I’m mystified Snorty paid attention to the Hymen shit, it was boring....

It isn’t remotely “confusing”, you peeps iz dummm

I legit wasn’t paying full attention, but it seemed moar like what he said was “really powerful” was about KokeJ singing that dumb fucking song? In any event, none of it was---and he spent FAR less time blathering about it than either side led us to believe. 

Oh good lord, Snorty, “but Barfie Evan saaaidddd...” used to be your battle cry. And all the writers are assholes. The end....

Why is she being thanked for belatedly detailing something once they could listen to it anyway? After spending the weekend self importantly gate keepering?

It was a sort of parting gift for Mark---since the network clearly no longer can afford him. And the point wasn’t about “humanizing” him, per se, just giving him an interesting sideplot/a job for his son...

I don’t think he remotely said that....but it wasn’t meant to give you any spoilers, dumbasses....I do love their endless circle jerk of reassurance....while they piss themselves and one another

Whelp, tells me those are stupid and I’ll go laugh at them next....

Blah, blah, blah (and I haaatttteee Barfie Evan. Actually both his and Brian’s eps suck ass.

Sooooo bitter.....also, Pete (as a means for disparaging them) was the one who said this....not Brian. He was all “sharing is caring”---with Alex chiming in about how Cole “seemed really excited, too” from his prior interview (cuz Mr. 58 Seconds still seems reallyyyyyyyy jazzed that he got to interview/be on the press call for Cole). 

And what “roots of their (what) problem”???? Nobody’s cheating or treating Jug like he’s a subhuman.....also, VALE

Noooo....Snorty, again, you really ARE dummmmm...huh? Plus, no, it’s fine and PP caused it....suck it. 

And who TF is this VD noobie sock?

And the whole 8 accounts they follow???

And yes, Barfie, again, will be withering fast enough.....it’s why there will be “exploring” the VD/Slagey quad and somebody’s gonna suck some Pickens’s dick....(TBF, perhaps I was too hasty, maybe Gossip Ghey will do the honors!)

OML....Snorty, you should never, EVER point the finger about lying. Plus, not sure where or what they’ve exaggerated or flat out lied about??? And if they do? They DGAF....you continue to fail to grasp how ANY of this works...

Again, all detailed. That you prefer to not accept it, is not my problem!

Actually 17, Snorty---I see your math skillz are as fab as your other abilities---

Nobody gAF about Hymen and Vermin....

No, again, all detailed....you just refuse to grasp it

Fine by me if they love Jabi moar....

Yes, she’s literally jeebus....

Whelp, the only peeps who hate Jabi are you racist assholes, so nope. And Barfie’s fanbase isn’t all that significant....tho bigger than VD’s....and again, they DGAF.

Also, no, still didn’t address that and Hymen was always meant to be cartoonish...

Ummm....I’m not going to lie: nobody made you read it and you’re still gonna get the story lines that happen!

Umm.....again, this idea that Brian “went out of his way” (per Snorty) is utter bullshit---he was asked direct questions and then demurred. Plus OFC he isn’t gonna tell dick. 

And no, that isn’t remotely what “the main idea” is....even when they were “exploring new types of relationships”, they really didn’t/weren’t----and sent the clear cut message you’d do better to be in a nice, committed relationship. 

Awesome job pearl clutching----and you ARE aware they all are adults themselves, right?

Errmmm....we were never going to have a “great conversation” about that or anything else, moron---that’s always been your fanfic. However, it did cause Jughead to slip and illustrated further the difference between Tabitha and Slizzy (to the point of Tabs in sunlight/Slizzy in darkness with creepy music!)

And you also continue to not remotely grasp what the show’s about, anyway...

[zumpietoo]

Now Scary Starey’s Gonna Weigh In...

Spoiler: it’s moar stoopid and lies....

First “of” no, they aren’t. Jughead is because A) narrator and B) the only person (besides Erinn) under 40 who can act for shit---so he’s the default/actual hero....if anything, we used to get a LOT of Slizzy’s perspective, SHE was the default hero, etc....problem is, turns out PP can’t act for shit unless there’s Cole around, soooo...

Season five, again, wound up focusing on Jug because Cole was the only one who could manage anything.....I mean, Douchie’s the supposed main dude, but KokeJ’s even weaker than PP, soooo...nooooppppeee.....

You do, buuuut....we have nothing to indicate, other than at quantico, she had no friends.....if anything, the person who seemed isolated, at least at school, was Jughead. All his NYC “friends” were clearly using him/peeps to get wasted with.

I know you don’t really watch the show, but try to have at least SOME facts straight.

Slizzy became a prostitute.....she fucked Glenn to get into Quantico, stay in Quantico and be placed on assignments she wasn’t qualified for. She fucked him to not have to go to therapy.

This also isn’t remotely new....we saw her weird obsessions with transactional sex first in season 1, with Chuck and considerably in season 2, just for starters. TBH....I remain of the opinion she was meant to go a lot deeper and darker in the cam girl story arc....

And yes, it was a “pattern” in college. I remain convinced she was probably turning tricks....that at least would explain some, if not all of her behavior.

However, if it’s merely that she wanted to fuck around, for whatever reason---that would’ve been her business. And it shows how uptight Slizzystans actually are that this so unnerves them.

Actually, we fully get her trauma with TBK----and it’s frequently revisited. It also would’ve been mere weeks before she returned to Plaiderdale, so it is not parallel to Jug’s trauma.....and you’re pretending it is as a way of manipulating the reader....

We, frankly, don’t need to see her reaction: we know she caused it, DGAF that she hurt him so deeply, kept it and used it to try and turn Tabitha (and Jess) against him. IDGAF what her reaction was----it’s her fault and she was a dick.He said nothing wrong or inaccurate....it was the culmination of her torturing him for five years.

She’s horrible to him period and that was NOT a moment of vulnerability. It was a moment of manipulation----because he was fully vulnerable and truly at his lowest....and all she could do was make shit about herself. And then fucking ghost him. Which, again, is a pattern for her.

Again, she didn’t “show emotion”, she showed bitchy manipulation....and it wasn’t remotely about Paulie, either.....cause she was sure fine with dropping shit about that to fuck Douchie and party with Josie and Pcats, now wasn’t she?

She’s regressed, yes....but way further back. And, honestly, she IS sexually compulsive and she does think this will purify her. However, yes, this IS the same person....that’s what you don’t grasp. We certainly saw that same person fuck Douchie seconds after returning to town. And feeling just fine about it.

She ditched it because being his dirty seekrit didn’t give her anything, and Slizzy might not get orgasms any more, but she definitely wants to get something (cuz she’s a prostitute) from spreading her legs. Being his real GF means she lives in the Barfie Dreemhouse and will be town kween (something that’s similarly hinted at in the Vale event, if we’re being real).

Also “live in gf”???? Ummm....yeah, for less than 24 hours. But if you’re saying Douchie’s a juvenile fuckboi who can’t go five seconds without a blowie, I will agree there.

You’re just pissed that Slizzy, for whatever reason, is also choosing to NOT want to be with Jughead.

Ummm....again, no road back and no, Jug got everything done....Slizzy had been a fucking moron all along. Tabitha was also sleuthing and that doesn’t mean they should be together, even if they were good at sleuthing together.

Or rather....Slizzy taking credit (and you giving it to her) for Jug’s accomplishments doesn’t mean they should be together.

errmm....nope. It’s gross, but it has a history and I’ve now fully explained it to you, countless times. You don’t have to like it, but it is there. The weird thing is, they DO have shit in common and while it’s gross, they kinda make sense?

And this is Plaiderdale--shit like this happens all the time. And, again, nooooppppee....

Granted, I think they were gonna do a JTB triangle, but PP was so out of control, they scrapped it....butttt....it was also always gonna be Barfie fucking again, just originally probably getting caught and there being a lot of rage from Vermin and Jug.

Plus, ya know what? It doesn’t fucking matter, this is how it wound up happening, this is canon.

First off, again....it was waaayyyy moar than “just a kiss”----and it’s never been that she didn’t know how to fix it, it’s that she didn’t bother to even try. Solely on her....also, OFC this traumatized Jughead....his worst nightmare come true, he’s not even allowed to be angry at either of them about it AND while he had PTSD....and after she had spent a good year humiliating him in various ways.

IDGAF if it DID “fuck her up”-----because she had a weird way of showing that she loved him or even felt the remotest remorse about it. And if she felt so bad about hurting him, why did she then spend another 5 years hurting him further, shut him out fully the ONE TIME he expressed how deeply hurt he actually was and then treated him like complete trash when they all returned?

This is not what a decent person on any level does, EVER....even if you’re claiming it’s “cuz she feels guilty”, bullshit. The irony is, Jug clearly wanted and tried to reconcile for years.

What did she do? Fucked with his head....and then all the other shit.

No, Slizzy is, Vermin IDGAF, Douchie yeah, also DGAF and Jug? Is in a happy new, nontoxic relationship with somebody who actually CARES about him. Also, no....Jug’s a fundamentally good, loyal, loving person. Slizzy is a jackass.

Jug IS better, because of Tabitha. Slizzy is crazy and horrible. And needs to stay far away from Jughead. What she wants is to be purified, but IDGAF and there’s no need to show us this....those of us who aren’t morons already grasp that.

Also, why do you need it laid out for you?

Nah....the show simply opted to focus on Jug cuz only Cole can manage that shit. And no, it isn’t going to be remotely a “problem going forward”. You’re just being dramatic cuz you didn’t get your way and, LBR, on some level you KNOW you won’t be....

OMG....they’re pretend....and you don’t write it. We know she was a liar and cuntbag to somebody who was never anything but loving to her. That’s moar than enough for me.

No, you love Slizzy and want Jughead to be her doormat again. Why TF would you hate Jughead? He’s done nothing wrong.

There are moar dumb notes, but I’ll drag those later....