#and not that there’s a cutoff for ‘acceptable’ addicts to be but

[multifandumbmeg]

Subtle JJ things I noticed that keep me up at night:

1. The way they changed the styling of his clothes from season 1 to season 2. Season one he's already pretty ripped but he mostly wears these loose-fitting tshirts and cutoffs that make him look cute, lanky, and unthreatening. Season 2 he mostly wears tight-fitting tshirts that make him look CONSIDERABLY beefier and generally is seen wearing more layers- it's technically Fall but he covers up more than other characters do and it has the effect of him seeming more closed off and isolated than the others, which he is. Season three his style is somewhere in between, not super tight but not lanky and loose either, like he's found a better balance.

2. His drinking. Season 1 he's partying a lot with beer and frankly, high most of the time. Season 2 he starts carrying around the flask- presumably liquor, not beer- and drinking non-socially. Before school. At John B's "funeral". That night they're stranded with Kie and Pope on the way to Charleston. The others aren't drinking at all, nor does he offer them some, then he seemingly (to Kie) falls asleep with the open flask in hand... Like he's been drinking himself to sleep, and this has probably become a habit. This is clearly because he's depressed, and though I think John B's "death" is the catalyst, it's clearly not the only reason as it continues through season 2, for example the aforementioned Charleston trip. I think John B's death, going no-contact with his dad, living alone at the chateau, Pope and Kie's relationship, have all led him to feel extremely isolated and he's clearly coping with substances even worse than before. Not to mention he's free of his dad for the first time, completely after he leaves OBX, which means for the first time in his life he's probably processing his trauma, which is what tends to happen once you find yourself no longer in a continually traumatizing situation. That would also account for his moodiness and increasing dependence on substances. I think it's also interesting we see him smoking weed less, but drinking more heavily. I think they did this to show a marked change in his already concerning substance use from season 1 from "bad coping mechanism, gets him through the day in relatively good spirits" to genuinely concerning and potentially volatile, over-using a substance his biological was known to be addicted to. Note this abruptly ends at the end of season 2 with being stranded on the island with all the Pogues. There are zero substances on the island, but it's clear it's the happiest he's ever been. A lot goes down after they get off the island but he seems to minimally fall back into old patterns in season 3. Apart from hanging out and partying a socially acceptable amount with his friends, the only time I remember him using is when he's drinking beers alone at his house- when he gets home and everyone's reuniting with their families and when he's fighting with Kiara because of their moment. When he feels alone and scared. I'm curious to see his development in season 4.

3. His lack of fear/loss of fear in death. Bro, nobody talks about how differently he reacts to danger between seasons 1 and 2. All throughout season 1, JJ is an anxious wreck and his response to being threatened is always submission, fear, and an instinct to run. When there's guns on him he gets the fuck down. He puts his hands up. He looks visibly terrified. Multiple times you can see him VISIBLY shaking. When the thugs are attacking Miss Lana, he's trembling with his eyes closed and trying not to make a sound. He begs John B to leave while it's happening and after when he sees her reaction. Even when Barry tries to rob them, furious though he is, he follows Barry's demands and doesn't fight back until John B starts it and makes an opportunity. As Kiara so aptly puts it, "he has the survival instincts of a cockroach." He does! But everything changes when he tries to grab the money and run from his dad. Again, he doesn't want a fight. But he gets one, and he's finally tired of it. He's been beat up and threatened and stolen from one time too many, and the threat of death is no longer a more powerful motivator than his wants. So he attacks his dad back and puts him in his place. He once again puts his hands up when Barry and Rafe come for him at the Phantom, but he doesn't look as scared. John B's "death" may be the final nail in the coffin, because starting season 2? He's not scared anymore when he should be. Despite the fact that he appears to be having panic attacks and worse anxiety than ever, every gun that's pointed at him or fight that breaks out he just rolls with. One of the only times I can see his survival instincts crop up in season 2 is when Kiara yells "murderer" at Ward seconds after he straight up killed someone with a gun, which is a normal human reaction and may have had more to do with protecting his friends. He just seems numb to most of the danger. Then again, season 3, he almost seems to find a balance. He's still doing some reckless things, and no longer cowering in the face of enemies, but he also knows who the dangerous people are, and when to wheel and deal or turn away and come fight another day.

Anyway, I'm very curious to see how he evolves in season 4, now that he's establishing his own life, financially secure, on good terms with all his friends and (hopefully) in a committed relationship. Let me know if I missed any other interesting character changes patterns for JJ or any other characters from the show! I would love to read/hear what you noticed and your own in-depth character analysis. JJ's my favorite character and a super rich text, so I tend to hyperfocus on him. Also if you want to request me to make one of these on one of the other characters let me know! I would love to zero in on them and see what I missed on my next watch-through.

[sweetie-bri]

GHO/ST [Giantess Growth Caption]

Hope used to always roll her eyes at the idea that growing could addictive. She was always very quick to debate anyone trying to claim height-challenged people being helped was an objective good thing and there was next to no one who was abusing the system despite the grossly exaggerated claims and statistics about average female height tripling. She scoffed and quibbled until eventually she decided to put her money where her mouth was and apply for government height operation/size treatment, or GHO/ST.

Anyone below 5 foot qualified but, those in more disenfranchised groups like Hope were given priority. She had no issue getting her request approved and card distributed literally within the hour. "Huh, that was... easier than I expected. Is there really no background check? Cool." Hope thought.

Her dosage was in medical jargon she didn't understand, but it was easy to schedule on the app. She accidentally ordered WAY too much, but that didn't stop the system from just accepting her input. "Oops, wait, that's my order confirmation! Really? I clicked an extra 0! Well, that's... convenient." Hope couldn't deny it was surprisingly unregulated. I guess it makes sense since the tech is in its infancy.

Supply after supply was doled out to Hope and eventually after a few weeks of carefully following the instructions to the letter, she gained negligible height. "How on EARTH did people get to be like... 12 feet?! There isn't even enough time. I've gained a CENTIMETER! Are they... overdosing..?" Hope was too scared to check online because she didn't want "How to OD on GHO/ST" in her search history. The thought had crossed her mind before. It does taste... pretty good.

She caved, worst case scenario she loses her card and gets her stomach pumped. Instantly she saw her results exponentially increase. The more you take the more you gain. What took before months was done in weeks. She was already 6 feet tall which was the cutoff point for those apply for GHO/ST but she didn't lose her card and the app didn't deny her. Okay, maybe it was a *little* addictive. But Hope wasn't some mindless junkie. She thought.

She wasn't stopping, she didn't know this, but she couldn't if she wanted to. She was hopelessly addicted to growing. She was excited for every chance to follow her routine self-imposed perscription. Nobody was stopping her, especially not herself. She maybe had an inkling something was wrong at this point but who cares?! It feels *good.* I'm *big.* I'm so *strong.* "Of all people, *I* deserve this. I'm not doing anything illegal." She thought.

Her addiction got more fierce. She got more codependent on GHO/ST, and as long as she kept shilling, the pharmacy kept distributing to her. If it was ever late, her day would be ruined, and if it came early, her day was made. Living and dying by GHO/ST. She spent most of her time fantasizing about growing. "Okay, it might be a *little* addictive, but. I just have an addictive personality. It's not GHO/ST's fault." became "I'm pretty sure I need help, but... I don't *want* help." became "If this is wrong, I don't want to be right!"

Reasons to Tip Sweetie-Bri

1.) She's trying her best.

2.) She'll 100% see that message.

3.) It would make her day.

[official-panini]

rwrb movie aka "a shitshow"

rating: 1 star, if you want something like the book this is not the place to go.

i watched the movie last night and i have a lot of Thoughts™. i have undone my tumblr exile specifically for this. this may be incoherent but bear with me pls.

there will be spoilers after the cutoff

i had 3 main issues with the movie. obviously i knew it wouldn't be perfect to the book (that would have added at least another 2 hours) but it felt like the screenwriters didn't have any idea what the core of the book was about....... so yeah i have come back to tumblr simply because of this movie.

Diversity: the books had SO MUCH diversity. Nora was bisexual, Pez was 100% queer, these two and June were in a very obvious polyamorous relationship (THEY GOT RID OF JUNE!!!). Amy was trans and had a wife. Rafael Luna was cut out entirely, so we lost a gay Mexican senator who had experienced sexual assault. Oscar wasn't even senator, so we got to see zero (0) Mexican senators. even in terms of other types of diversity, there was less. for example, Ellen wasn't divorced, the movie was just a perfect little nuclear family. not to mention it was Henry's grandpa that was king? instead of having a queen? like the vibes were so different because of that. not to mention, Bea wasn't ever addicted to cocaine. i mean, that added so much to the idea that the royal family wasn't perfect (they made her a pretty little useless princess in the movie).

Palatability: I don't know why I expected better from Amazon, but I was so disappointed. this goes hand in hand with diversity, but i feel like they watered down so many of the themes to appeal to straight audiences? it felt like the difference between "flamboyant" gay vs "quiet, doesn't talk about their sexuality" gay (hint: the second one is the type cishets want from us). even just the way that the only time we see a pride flag is in the reflection of the window. also, one of the scenes i really wanted to see was after henry/alex were outed and we'd see a montage of ppl on the internet speaking out for them, saying stuff like "this was an invasion of their privacy" "they deserved better" "we support you" "you made me more comfortable with my sexuality", etc. AND ESPECIALLY THE "HISTORY, HUH?" SHIRTS. JUST READING ABOUT THEM MADE ME CRY. basically the movie tried to ignore their queer identities past the trauma involved. they didn't celebrate the gayness, they only used it to be like "boohoo they're sad cuz they can't come out".

Character Development: Henry had a plot arc that i felt was more similar to the books, except for the fact that it focused on himself accepting his gayness instead of accepting himself in general. BUT ALEX. THEY DID HIM WRONG. i mean, he didn't have a sexuality crisis on screen (liam was completely ignored). but what really annoyed me was how they didn't show the "fire under his ass" and how he put it out. the entire thing in the book was that he wanted to do everything fast, as young as possible. his entire character arc was learning from June and Henry that he could slow down and get there in his own time. but instead he felt like a plot device to help henry in the movie, like he didn't have a personality beyond helping Henry (and occasionally campaigning for Texas, but w/o his character development we don't even know why he wants Texas so much)

Plot arcs: again, i should have expected this. but. i didn't. in the book, while the overarching plotline was the firstprince romance, a lot of other stuff happened too. while i would argue that there were many mini subplots, the big one was with Richards. he was the one who orchestrated the emails, who leaked them, who tried to sabotage the Claremont administration. and Luna defecting to gather information was so important because of the betrayal + forgiveness + trauma. like the election was so important in the book yet it felt like a background feature in the movie. other subplots that were taken out: june's displeasure with being used as a tool for her mother, henry's mother finally coming out of her room and fighting for something, even just Alex giving the speech in Austin during the election! it didn't even have "you obtuse fucking asshole", the best line in the whole book. it became a pure romcom instead of a contrast between love and politics.

tl;dr: the book was an escapist fantasy that painted a whole world that i would like to run away to, the movie was about two people falling in love with each other (it's hard to escape to a world made for only two people).

anyway i hated it, would not recommend.

[heartshpedfx]

.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Dappled Play

Summary- 1.6k Alpha Steve x Little One Reader. You are currently sunbathing on the back deck when Steve comes looking for you. Warnings- some suggestive hints. 

A/N- This is really just nothing but fluff for the Shifters. I have been working on some heavy dark stuff and needed just something more upbeat to focus on today. So this is really just in the moment writing, nothing has been picked over and edited. Much Love Always! Happy Howling! 🐺💙

The Pack Masterlist

Sunlight dappled through the trees surrounding the back deck, sparse brilliant bits of light painted across your skin as you lounged in one of the alpine deck chairs Steve had scattered around. Your feet were kicked back onto the railing, freshly painted toes wiggling to dry while you had your head tilted back and eyes closed, letting your senses drift from right where you were. 

The fresh water of the lake smelled tempting, the water lapping on the rocky shore and against the dock was calling your name as the day warmed. On another beach you could hear the laughter of other pack mates playing with one another, the occasional splash as someone jumped into the cool depths from the rope swing someone risked installing. On your own deck was a multitude of visitors scurrying back and forth, taking advantage of the spread of seeds you scattered along the railing this morning. 

Chatter from above let you know your squirrel was at war with the chipmunks right now for the seed you had scattered around. Occasional flutter of wings let you know one of your songbirds had come out of hiding. When you peered over your sunglasses to see, a multitude of evening grosbeaks, nuthatches and purple finches were scattered across your deck. On the railing by your feet a Blue Jay wandered closer, cocking his head in interest at your wiggling baby blue toes. 

“Try it mister and you will be a snack.” You growled softly and kicked out your foot enough to send him fluttering away with a squawk of disgust at you ruining his fun. From behind you, you heard a deep chuckle and a tilt of your head showed Steve leaning in the doorway leading to the bedroom, wiping his hands dry off on a hand towel, bits of water still caught in his beard and ran down his bare chest from where he had just gotten changed and cleaned up. You could tell just looking at him that he had been in the garage, the scent of oil and metal mixing with his natural scent. It made you inhale sharply, the Little Wolf sniggering in the depths of your mind. 

<Damn distracting isn’t he.>

Always... 

<Don’t worry, you are just as distracting to him.>

That’s the plan.

“If you want, I will fight that jay off for you, just to preserve your honor Little One.” Steve stepped out onto the deck, leaning over to press a affectionate kiss on your lips, his warm palm sliding along the curve of your neck and tracing your bonding mark. “But you really seem to have it handled.” 

“Well he might come back.” You lift your sunglasses off and set them aside while Steve went to sit in a neighboring chair. “If he does, I will call you, right away.” Your Alpha rumbled from his chest in approval and you grinned at the praise. “Already done for the day?” 

Steve let his gaze fall from you, head tilted back into the bit of sun streaming to cut through the shade. “Time for a break. Sam was starting to get on my nerves talking numbers and that truck isn't going anywhere while we have the engine ripped out of it.” He inhaled deeply, letting the stress of the situation start to melt away. His mothers sentiments dancing on the tip of his tongue before repeating “When the world knocks you down, you get back up... this is nothing but a thing to deal with and I told Sam to quit worrying about it, we will figure it out. We always do.” 

You uncurled from your chair and approached Steve, your fingers curling through his longer locks, the sun had started to lighten them back up into that golden color you remember from the day you first saw him. His arm loped around your hips to tug you into his hold, making you straddle his lap so you could drape your arms over his shoulders. “Sounds like he needs to take a page from your book Alpha.” placing a teasing nip at his lips, he tightened his arm around your waist and flushed you in against him, sliding his palms to grip your ass, flexing his hand to grasp a handful of your cheeks. 

“He should, why I shut the garage down, for a few hours at least. Besides, I had to come see my best girl, maybe cool off a bit.” His eyes started to grow mischievous, looking you up and down, you could see he was already eyeing the loose tank top you had on and the shorts, contemplating what was underneath them. 

“Don’t you dare rip these off Steven, they are my favorite outfit.” You growled out as he plucked at your shirt to look down it, his grin going boyish as he rucked it up over your head. “I promise not to destroy the tank top. But nothing else.” He moved to a stand, hauling you over his shoulder with a loud yelp from you, your hands making a grab at his belt while he started down the wooden stairs towards the deck. 

“Whoa Alpha, what are you doing?” You bounce with each bopping down step he takes, one arm wrapped around the back of your thighs, the other feeling at your pockets to dig out your phone and stuff it in his own pocket. 

“Going for a swim. It’s hot out, wouldn't you agree?” he gave an appreciative squeeze to a jean clad ass cheek and you wriggled on his shoulder while you swayed over his shoulder. 

“Well... my current view is pretty hot.” clasping your hands on the firmest ass you have ever touched, you felt him flex under your hands. That’s when you felt a set of teeth sink into your jeans, making him growl at you. “Did you just bite my ass?” 

“It was to tempting to pass up.” He informed you while walking closer to your destination, you started pushing against his back to have him put you down. “Oh no baby, were doing this the right way.” 

“Steven Grant Rogers don’t you dare.” You warned him, but his hold was tight and there was no way you were wriggling from out of it. “Don’t you throw me into that lake.” You could hear the Little Wolf’s laughter at your predicament, as well as feel the Alpha joining in on the fun, Steve’s playful nature simmering between you two. You knew his intentions, just as much as he knew you wouldn’t be mad if he did. 

In fact, pressing up against Steve had heated you up, he was a sweltering man on a normal day, his heat radiating from him. Now you were plastered to his back and were ready for the cool rush of water. But he couldn’t “know” that, and you pretended to fight him with teasing tickling fingers up his lower back and smacks against that finest ass you have ever seen. “No sex for you if you do!” 

“Now that, I’m calling bullshit on Little One.” He barked a laugh and then he swung you around into his arms and gave a gentle toss, sending you flying through the air, squealing till you landed in the water. With a twist underwater, your toes pressed to the bottom, silt and stones rolling under the balls of your feet as you shot back to the surface. Catching sight of his pants coming off and boxer clad Steve soared over you to disappear in a giant splash, making you roll back towards the dock where you could grasp onto the edge, watching for where he might pop up. 

You feel him first on your ankle, his fingers dancing up the side of your leg and looking down to see Steve start coming up, his head and shoulders breaking the waters surface while he wrapped his arms around you, knocking you off balance enough to circle your legs around his waist and grab onto his shoulders.  He whipped his head a bit to clear of the water, leaving you laughing and sputtering at the water. “You are getting me wet?” 

“Wetter then you already are?” He wiggled his brows at you, setting off a flare of heat spiraling through you. 

“You seem to have that effect on me? I don’t know why though.” You pop a shrug of your shoulder, making Steve snort in his own laugh, pulling away from the dock so the two of you could float away from the shoreline. 

“I keep putting it on my charming personality.” Pressing kisses of heat to your skin, chasing away the water droplets. This was what you loved about Steve, he was just so easy to be with. 

To be yourself. 

Your Alpha wanted you to challenge him, play, love, feel. You were still learning what that meant, to be genuine. To say that first thing that popped in your mind without repercussions. Never had you gotten to be free in such a way. You nudged at him, brushing your nose against his, whispering against his mouth. “I’m going with its all the good looks.” Challenging as you arched into him, pressing a firm kiss to him. 

Steve took it further, dart of his tongue pressing against your mouth and you so willingly accepted him. His hands came to cup your face, your fingers digging into his shoulders as you two sunk into it, dipping back under the water for a moment before he kicked at his legs and sent the two of you back to the surface. You gave another nudge of your nose against his before unwrapping from around him and pushing off, the white strap of your bra and baby blue denim cutoffs blaring against the dark water. You swirled in the water, shooting water at him from between your teeth to squirt in his face. 

Steve growled and lunged forward to catch you, the two of you splashing back and forth, trying to keep away from him, darting away with squeals of laughter and cries of alarm. His laughter was booming across the lakes surface, clearly enjoying himself in the moment. 

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[acrosstheroad1]

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[tf2-hoe]

Could you do support headcanons where they start getting intimate for the first time (w/ each other, not in general) and they see their s/o's self harm scars on her sides? She hid them up till that point because she thought they wouldn't want her? I absolutely love your writing❤️❤️

Medic/Sniper/Spy Headcanons - Self Harm Scars

Aww, thank you! I’m not going to focus a lot on the NSFW part because I want to be able to place this in main tags so everyone can see this because it’s important. Considering the subject material, however, I’ll be keeping this all under a cutoff.

Medic

He had laid his S/O onto the bed, pressing gentle kisses to her cheek

As his hand lifted up her shirt, Medic immediately felt resistance

“Stop.”

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

Medic immediately pulled away to check his S/O

“They’re… You can’t see them.”

“Them?”

Medic eyed her nervous frame, watching her fidget with the hem of her shirt

“Please, darling, don’t feel forced. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”

“You need to see them, but they’re disgusting.”

A pit grew in his stomach at her words, and he grew fearful of what was to come

“It’s not as bad as you think, dear; don’t hide them because you’re scared of me and my reaction, hide them because you’re not ready.”

Processing his words, his S/O slowly lifted up her shirt

Deep gashes decorated her delicate skin, littering them with dark stories and hateful words

“Darling… What are these?”

“I’m not a very happy person, Josef, but I was much worse before I met you.”

A particularly deep gash gains his attention

“You got an infection.”

“That was when I knew I had to stop.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why would I? I can’t even wear crop tops or bathing suits without getting stares. And now I have to hope and pray that you’ll just accept them? …This is the part where I say I’m fine, and that I understand if you don’t want to be in a relationship with me. The problem is, I won’t be fine; I will be devastated if you left me. I know I’m worthless, but-”

She’s cut by Medic tightly holding her; he bites his hand to choke back his tears

“Josef-”

“Don’t ever be scared to tell me anything like that; I would never leave you just because you’re hurt. Forevermore, darling, I love you!”

He holds her close and gently rubs her back

“Oh, my beautiful dear… The pain you must have been in.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry? What?! No, darling! Please, do not be sorry. You have suffered, and you have been scared out of your mind to tell me… You are going to be okay; I’ve got you.”

Spy

He knew his S/O was hiding something by her choice of clothing and how she never wore swimsuits that showed off her body

That wasn’t what was on his mind, however, when he had her leaning against a wall and kissing her

When she stopped kissing him back, though, he knew something was up

“Dear, what’s wrong? You’re tense.”

“W-We can’t.”

He took her hands off her sides and gently cupped her cheek

“Can’t what? Do you not want to do this?”

“I do, it’s just you won’t want to when you see them.”

“I will never judge you; please, do not assume things about me because of your past experiences. I am not only a new person, but I am someone who desires to give you everything you’ve ever deserved.”

Slowly, she dropped her dress to reveal rage-induced marks from her hips to the bottom of her ribcage

The silence from the Frenchman was deafening, and his S/O was putting her dress back on when he stopped her with his words

“May I touch you?”

She hesitantly nodded before he placed a hand over her back and wiped the pearly tears out of her eyes

“These scars do not define you; they are a story, yes, but they are not your only story. If you want to acknowledge them and make them a part of you and your story, that is your decision. If you would prefer that they were invisible to my eyes, I can do that, too. That decision is yours, however, and I cannot do it for you. What you do, dear, is up to you, but know that I will forever be by your side.”

“Why do you still want me?”

His jaw clenched at her words, and he carefully kissed her forehead

“Because, dear, you are the light at the end of a dark tunnel, and I have felt these very same thoughts before.”

They did not sleep together that night, and instead, Spy’s S/O quietly told him of her story

Sniper

Of all the places to be having sex, Sniper never really imagined his tower as a possibility

Considering that he had a spare change of her clothes, though, Sniper didn’t really mind the idea of it

She was gorgeous underneath him, giggling from his kisses

Before he went further, though, he needed her consent

“Love, are you ready?”

Her soft smile dropped into a look of fear, and Sniper’s heart jumped at the sight of it

Why is she scared?

“Hey, it’s alright.”

He gently lifted her up, but he could see her flinching to keep her shirt down

“You can’t see them…”

“Are you self-conscious, love?”

“Sort of.”

“Love, I’m not in a relationship with you because I expect you to have a perfect body or to have sex with me; I love you because I love you. I have no idea why I do, but it just happened. That’s how love works, sheila; I don’t pick and choose whoever just because I think they look good, my heart chooses who it wants. Don’t feel like you owe me an explanation right now, or ever, for that matter. This is obviously personal to you, and I’m not going to sit here and make you tell me.”

Carefully considering his words, his S/O threw her shirt off and across the small room, revealing her body to him

Deep, spiderweb scars decorate her hips; they overlap each other to reveal a wicked, self-induced rage

Sniper didn’t dare move, let alone breathe

“…Do you still love me, Mundy?”

“What?”

“I’m ruined; I’ve destroyed my body because I was so stupid.”

Sniper gently lifted her into his lap, stroking her hair and looking up for a moment so his tears didn’t fall

“You didn’t ruin it, love; the world did this to you. Maybe it’s a mental illness, maybe it was bullying, or maybe it was just an experiment. Whatever the case, you aren’t ruined. You will need time, and you will need to heal, but guess what? I’m right here, and I’ll never just dump you because I find your story disgusting or horrible. I love you.”

I’m going to leave this off by saying that stopping self-harm is not easy, and it’s a struggle every day. It is addicting, and to the sufferers out there, I don’t ask you to stop, but I ask you to be safe. If not for your sake, then for someone or something out there. This does not mean to put that burden on them; do not blame them for your self-harm, and do not expect them to act a certain way to protect you. In the end, quitting is up to you, and I pray that whatever path you choose, you are safe. And if it means anything, I love you.

[dalekofchaos]

My problems with LIS:BTS

I love Before the Storm, but I do have some problems with the game in relation to the first game. Here I will explain the problems i had with BTS and why I think Deck Nine did not understand the characters. This is very long, if anyone has the time to read it all, I’d like you to finish to the end! 

1. Continuity issues

Rachel’s parents. I always got the feeling Rachel’s parents were neglectful, which REALLY showed when Chloe said they are in denial that Rachel is missing. Rachel having neglectful parents and Chloe having an abusive stepfather and abuse enabling mother, would show just why Rachel and Chloe wants to leave Arcadia Bay. What happens in BTS? Rachel has kind and loving parents and a bio mom that is a horrible representation of drug addiction(everything about how D9 wrote Sera sends a horrible message, wtf D9?) and all of sudden James just pretends that Rachel isn’t missing? The fuck? Also, Rachel’s parents are not called James or Rose. Rachel’s student information we see in Episode 3 about her parents is not readable, but he Initial letters of the names written within the Parent(s) field on Rachel’s file do not appear to match the names James or Rose (or even Sera)

Rachel’s address. Rachel’s  Blackwell Student Information Sheet shows Rachel’s home address. Rachel Amber has an address of “6 Sa(?)u/n(?)tle Road, Arcadia Bay, Oregon”. There is a piece of paper covering the Home Address field, but we can make out a “gon” from the end of “Oregon”, so we know it is within the state. As her address in the top-right corner is different to what appears to be the dormitory address on the other student files, we can assume that “6 Sa(?)u/n(?)tle Road” is implying her home address (just like on Chloe’s file). However, in Before the Storm, her home address is 2420 Blackfriars Road, Arcadia Bay, Oregon.

My friend/one of  my Amberprice favs @thelittle-scribbler​‘s idea of Rachel’s parents makes more sense. “the idea I had of Rachel is that she was a relocated student from Cali from a very problematic absent family who didn’t give a fuck about her, coz well they gave up looking for her! And if her dad was the city da, he would have never gave up on the search and also, he would have known about her being involved with drug dealers. Unless he got his ass fired after hiring those guys to kill his ex wife lol”

Chloe’s blue hair. In Episode 3 of Before the Storm, Chloe is shown dyeing her hair blue for the very first time. However, we know that in Life is Strange, Chloe had been dyeing her hair with a blue streak on or before her 16th birthday (two months before Before the Storm takes place). indicating that Chloe had already been using blue dye in her hair by the time of her 16th birthday. It would have made more sense if we had seen Chloe with a blue streak in Before the Storm Episode 1.

Max’s contact of Chloe. "You were happy to wait five years without a call, or even a text.“ In Before the Storm’s Episode 1, "Awake,” Chloe’s phone clearly shows that Max has been texting her during her time in Seattle and had even initiated text messaging after admitting to being “bad about emailing”. Max has texted Chloe on the following dates in November 2009: 2nd, 13th, and 28th. Max was supposed to have not emailed, called or text Chloe ever since she left for Seattle, it should end in  9/28/2008, but it began again a year later.

Joyce and David’s relationship.  In Before the Storm, David and Joyce are currently unmarried and had started dating not that long before the game’s events that are set in May 2010 (Chloe is 16 years old at this time). David is also about to move in to the Price household, which is seen happening by Episode 3. But in Life is Strange, a chronological timestreammontage shows that Joyce and David were already married before Chloe’s 16th birthday. A picture of a married Joyce and David appears prior to an image of Chloe on her 16th birthday in this timestream montage

The Blackwell problem. Victoria Chase’s sole reason for being at Blackwell is Mark Jefferson. Jeffershit is not in BTS. Victoria is introduced as a sophomore at Blackwell Academy in Before the Storm and wants to be in theater for…reasons, but the age for Victoria in the first game suggests she should be a freshman in BTS. Warren is a Blackwell student at age 13. Max is said to be a sophmore with Chloe in her own school in Seattle at the time, but problem there is Max turned 14 in 2009 after the September 1st cutoff date. This means that she wouldn’t be starting high school until September the following year (fall 2010). The normal age requirement to start high school as a freshman is age 14 (i.e. turning 14 before the September 1st cutoff). It is currently unknown why Max has advanced two grades in 2010. She has a 2.8 GPA on her 2013 student information sheet, which suggests she is a low B / C / high D student (not an exemplary student). Her GPA is also said to fluctuate and she acknowledged in 2013 that she should be doing better. and there’s the fact that Chloe is in Blackwell with some of the characters in the first game  and dialogue (or text messages) between these characters seems to suggest that she did not know them as fellow students or even classmates prior to the original game’s events. For example, Stella is in Chloe’s class photo, problem with that is that Stella doesn’t even know who Chloe is, she just refers to her as “some girl” Warren. Warren does not know who Chloe is at the beginning of Episode 2, yet in BTS class photo he is seen with Chloe.  Other dialogue gives the impression that Warren does not know Chloe beforehand. For example, the text messages Max receives from Warren in Episode 4 if she kissed Chloe/but declined Warren’s invitation to the drive-in or didn’t kiss Chloe/ but accepted Warren’s invitation.  There is no mention of the fact he knows Chloe from when she was going to Blackwell, her complete change of appearance, or that he’s surprised that Max knows her too! There are also a couple of points in Life is Strange where, if Warren knew Chloe from the past, he would have likely opened a dialogue with her about that it’s good to see her again or even asking how life is outside Blackwell. Not even Chloe seems to recognize Warren, as she refers to him simply as “your friend” to Max. Justin.  When Max encounters Justin at the Blackwell Campus in the first episode of Life is Strange, “Chrysalis”, she has the option to talk with him about Rachel and “her punk friend”, as Max does not yet know the identity of the blue-haired punk girl that she had saved in the bathroom earlier. "I can’t remember her name… But she was hot. Tats. Blue hair. Hardcore. She stopped hanging out with us after Rachel disappeared… or ran away.“ As we see in Life is Strange, Justin refers to Chloe in a very vague way as Rachel’s "punk friend” and as though he only knows her second-hand through Rachel. Yet the Before the Storm prequel game puts Justin in the same Blackwell student photograph as Chloe (standing directly in front of her), furthermore implying they are in the same classes. He would have had frequent contact with Chloe as a classmate of just that handful of students. Also in Before the Storm, Chloe interacts with Justin at Blackwell and they seem very familiar with each other. Justin refers to her as both “Chlo-ee” and “Price”, so he definitely knows both her first name and surname. They also are texting with each other in Before the Storm. Then again, they ARE friendly with each other in episode 4, Justin not remembering who she is in episode 1 might be the case of him being blazed and just narratively teasing Max of the girl she saved. Nathan. In Life is Strange Episode 1’s Cliff chapter, Max will ask Chloe about Nathan. Chloe will tell Max:“I met him in some shithole bar that didn’t card me. He was too rich for the place and too wasted. And he kept flashing bills…” in Before The Storm, Chloe knows Nathan from Blackwell.  but the way she describes her predicament to Max sounds like she is describing her first impressions from the first time she ever met or had one-to-one dealings with him (i.e. no previous encounters before that).

Chloe is left handed in the first game and right handed in BTS. Yes she does use her left in some points, but Chloe’s dominant hand in the first game is her left hand. Throughout BTS, Chloe smokes and drinks with her right hand, lights the Amber House candles with her right hand and even writes graffiti with her right hand. In the first game Chloe smokes and drinks with her left hand and lockpicks with her left hand. DONTNOD confirmed she was left handed. I am just baffled by this decision. The only time I remember Chloe using her left hand as her dominant hand in BTS is when she burns evidence for Damon.

Chloe is expelled in 2011 in the first game. Chloe is expelled in 2010 for BTS. Max looks at a report card in Chloe’s bedroom which shows that Chloe was still attending Blackwell Academy up until the end of her junior year, which was in May 2011. BTS gives us the choice to defend Rachel and get expelled or suspended if you don’t. There is also no mention by the Principal of a recent suspension for “spray-painting graffiti in the parking lot” as was clearly mentioned on her school file in his office in Life is Strange, nor any mention of the “police reports.” Although the suspension is temporary and she is to be hopefully reinstated in the fall to start her junior year on condition of her good behavior, the suspension was not over graffiti. Being expelled in 2010 completely contradicts the circumstances of the original game, and the suspension (although being the least non-canon consequence) is over the wrong reasons. Even if Chloe was suspended, it is not unreasonable to believe that she would be expelled anyway over the extensive graffiti she left in the bathroom.

Chloe being good at chemistry. It is never stated in her report card in the first game if she were ever good at chemistry. Chloe comes off as someone who doesn’t care about getting grades, hell Chloe seems only interested in the Arts class as shown in her report card. A friend pointed out to me it kind of feels like “BtS took away a lot from Warren, as if it were a "competition" "Warren is good at chemistry" and so the BtS crew thought "Let's make Chloe good at chemistry too!" Another point is also that Warren has green as his personal color, and in Farewell Chloe he wears a green shirt. Chloe in episode 1 uses Warren's phrase "Power". I don't know, I felt like they took things from Warren to give to Chloe, and that really pissed me off.”

Chloe knows about Pompidou’s name despite not knowing the pupper’s name in the first game. Also "The only way you know my dog’s name is if you broke into my RV.“ Why would he say that if he told Chloe Pompidou’s name?

Frank was just a drug dealer to Chloe and who she and Rachel hung out with in the past. Now Frank kills someone to protect Chloe. Chloe and Frank are not friends. 

2. The first LIS game told a different story for Chloe and Rachel’s relationship

Chloe’s “Rachel was my angel” comment showed a lot to how Chloe loved Rachel and how much she meant to her.  Chloe tells Max that Rachel entered her life when was at her absolute lowest and that it was she who helped her deal with the grief of having lost her father but the entire game is centered around Chloe being the one who is supporting Rachel as she deals with a serious family drama of her own.  What Before The Storm should have been. Rachel helping lift Chloe through the worse point of her life. If Rachel had stopped Chloe from committing suicide… as was the commonly believed interpretation to what happened between Chloe and Rachel up until BtS, then Chloe’s ”“she was my angel” would have meant it was truly special and real. But instead they bump into each other at an illegal concert and Rachel distracted some thug who works for Damon and we spend the game finding out who Sera is in a reveal we all saw it coming and only to have Rachel taken out of the third episode where Rachel never talks to her and makes the whole thing feel pointless. What the game should have been was Chloe and Rachel together having fun rocking out, becoming girlfriends and Chloe starting to live again and show that Chloe Price loves Rachel Amber and Rachel loves Chloe.

3. Deck Nine did not understand Chloe.

I don’t feel that Deck Nine did Chloe justice. The writers attempt to evoke empathy with Chloe feeling grief which is done via exactly one emotion- which is a very childish understanding of how loss and coping works. She had no character arc, considering she was the exact same character that we already knew in LiS Episode 1 (A bitter disaffected teenage youth with no regard for authority) so we didn’t get to see Chloe evolve into the character we loved in the first game. She just already was it.  The gameplay undid the narrative we were given about Chloe being a loner in that you can talk to and make friends with pretty much anybody and they all acted like they liked and were genuinely happy to see Chloe. Very rarely were there interactions with Blackwell students that ended with Chloe’s presence not being welcomed, only Wells, Victoria and Nathan showed contempt for Chloe(even with Nathan that goes away when he claps for her at the play)  The reason this is done is because the game wouldn’t be fun if Chloe actually was a loner. The core mechanic of Life is Strange is being able to talk to people and experiment with your surroundings. A game where nobody wanted to talk to Chloe works against the core mechanic. But in making her the main character it undoes the weight of the narrative of Chloe being alone until Rachel/Max. I just strongly feel that Deck Nine did not understand Chloe as a character and did not do her justice. We should’ve gotten Chloe at her lowest, evolving from Max’s best friend to the character we know in the first game and Rachel helping lift Chloe through the worse point of her life.  Chloe and Rachel together having fun rocking out and Chloe starting to live again and show that Chloe Price loves Rachel Amber and Rachel loves Chloe. Chloe losing Rachel and showing how Chloe has to deal with Rachel missing, how she became in debt to Frank and how she got involved with Nathan and how Chloe ends up in the bathroom. 

4. There is no plot...until the last minute

The biggest problem I have with BTS is there is absolutely no plot. In the first game we absolutely KNEW what the plot was. There was a storm, a missing person/serial killer and all of our friends have problems that Max has to help them with. In Before The Storm....there really is nothing. We go to a concert and because we ruined an asshole’s shirt, we were threatened and saved because Rachel was there. Then the rest of episode 1 spends on spending time with Rachel. Same with episode 2. They only gave the plot at the last minute cause Deck Nine probably went “oh shit, we just realized we don’t have a fucking plot” then we spend the majority of the game trying to get the identity of the woman Rachel’s scumbag father was seen kissing. Turns out the girl is Rachel’s biological mother! James and Sera's story doesn’t make any sense. He still loves her, gives her a final goodbye kiss and then orders some drug dealer to kill her because she was a drug addict?! Damon was hired to kill Sera and protect Rachel, but stabs her instead?! He wants Sera to die because she was a former addict....despite Sera wanting to be clean and Sera doesn’t want her to ruin Rachel’s life???? What kind of fucking message is that to send to people struggling with addiction??? They dropped the fact that Sera was supposed to have powers and it was passed down to Rachel and that Rachel is the storm. Hell, Rachel was taken out of the final episode 90% of the fucking episode. Damon was a lazy thrown at the last minute villain. The first game shows you what’s at stake right away, with Before The Storm there’s no clear danger, conflict or mystery. We only get it halfway through the second episode and even then it’s a bad mystery and conflict and  if it takes that long to add conflict or mystery, then I really think they failed the game. The best parts about the game are Amberprice, episode 2, Steph, Mikey & Drew and Samantha. But that’s kind of it. Before The Storm was kind of a disappointment. 

5. Forced to give David a chance

Deck Nine doesn’t understand that Chloe does not have a good relationship with David, or even Joyce. Deck Nine forces us to be nice to David and every time we choose to pick the most Chloe like choice we are punished.  The game outright makes us look like jerks for being true to Chloe’s character regarding David.  Deck Nine screwed up everything when it came to Chloe and David. Before even meeting David in episode 1, Chloe’s only complaint is he calls her “girly” that...that’s it? The only thing I felt they got right was his comment about  “vacation from not having a father figure” and saying he’ll show what a stable home is like.  The way he said that he can FINALLY show Chloe what a stabilized home looks like…..like she didn’t have a stable home when her father was alive. That really got under my skin. But let me explain, Deck Nine did not understand Chloe’s relationship with David and did their best to villainize Chloe for not giving him a chance. I do not want to feel bad for David. Stop trying to make us feel bad for this abusive piece of shit and make Chloe out to be the villain for not giving this asshole a chance.  He emotionally, mentally and physically abuses her and joyce normalizes it, violates her privacy, installs cameras in the house without her or Joyce’s knowledge cause he will not trust her and Rachel,  David makes Chloe feel like a prisoner in her own home. David getting a job at Blackwell makes her want to get expelled, whenever he is around she does not feel safe. He makes her so afraid that she feels like she’s living with a Nazi. They are not meant to have a good relationship. As for Joyce. The fandom likes to paint Joyce as this great mother to Chloe, and she was when William was alive but she chose her own happiness and interests over the safety and well being of her own daughter. Joyce enabled an abusive stepfather and ignored her daughter being hit and verbally abused (and there is a word for that: culpability. Joyce is guilty of child abuse. If we do not back up Chloe in episode 1 and we tell Joyce David hit Chloe, Joyce just brushes it off like it’s not a big deal…and this is who the fandom perceives as a good mother? What Deck Nine should have done is have it open with it stated that Joyce and David are married.  Chloe’s life is a living hell. David does not understand nor does he care about Chloe’s depression and grief for losing William and Max moving away. Show that David physically, mentally and emotionally abuses her. Joyce normalizes it like saying “you keep pushing him, what did you think was gonna happen” you might think that’s out of character for Joyce, but she put her own interests over the safety and stability of her own child. Joyce didn’t want to be alone anymore, so she settled down with the first guy that came her way. The abuse is normalized in their household and Chloe’s definitely internalized it. Keep in David’s comment about “vacation from not having a father figure” David violates her trust and feelings and boundaries and bosses her around and calling her a loser who has no friends and burdens her mother. Show why Chloe is terrified of him to the point where she labels him a Nazi and to the point she feels like he will kill her if he finds Max in her room, so make a hint that David starts to put surveillance around the house because of his unwillingness to trust Chloe and Rachel. Chloe and David do not have a good relationship and fuck Deck Nine for making us feel bad and look bad for not giving David a chance. Fuck you.

6. The choices D9 made with Nathan make no sense.

I already explained why Nathan being in Blackwell with Chloe doesn’t make any sense, but the choices Deck 9 did with Nathan doesn’t explain anything about the character he would become in the first LIS. If Nathan had to be in the game, I don’t think Samantha should’ve been in the game. Nathan’s social circle is Rachel, Victoria and Hayden. There is no missing persons posters in Arcadia Bay aside from Rachel. Samantha being the first Dark Room victim does not hold up. And that’s the problem, we don’t get to see Nathan being friendly with Rachel, Victoria or Hayden. We see him being bullied by Drew North. Wouldn’t it make much more sense for Nathan and Victoria to be bullying Drew and Mikey and Chloe and Steph defending them and Nathan and Victoria trying to get Chloe expelled for that? Okay if what they were trying to do was  a timid Nathan who slowly gets to become the king of Blackwell who was being mentally and emotionally abused by Sean and Jefferson, it did not work. We never see Nathan with his friends. We never see Nathan with Rachel aside from one picture. We do not get to see Nathan and Hayden. Nathan and Victoria are as close as brother and sister, we never get to see that and I think that’s where BTS failed Nathan. Hell, if they were to keep Nathan’s character as it were in BTS, I think Chloe and Nathan should have been friends. I cannot find the video because the person who made it deleted their YouTube account, but a few years ago when BTS was first out, someone made a video suggesting that Chloe and Nathan could’ve been friends in Blackwell. The video was SO convincing that I was so on board with the idea and Samantha pointing out how similar they are. If Hell Is Empty wasn’t a bad episode, maybe they could’ve gave Chloe and Nathan a chance to talk. depending on our choices it could go good or bad. If it goes bad, then they remain on bad terms. But if they are on good terms depending on our choices, you are given a choice to choose to become friends with Nathan. They bond over their similar music taste, their mutual love for Rachel and find common ground with everyone expecting the worst out of them and their abusive father/stepfather. And Nathan could thank Chloe for stepping up for him. And they share a smoke together. I think Chloe and Nathan being friends before their lives goes on a downward spiral and hits rockbottom would’ve been nice and sure as hell would’ve been better than giving Chloe, Stalky McFuckboy as a “friend” instead

7. Deck Nine does not understand Rachel Amber

I don’t feel that Deck Nine understands Rachel Amber as a character or understands what made the fanbase love her from the first game. Rachel is a character shrouded in mystery. The vibe I got from Chloe indicates that Rachel Amber saved her at her lowest and made her feel like she could live again. I also got the vibe that Rachel had neglectful parents who cared very little of her and Rachel was tired of the pressures of being little ms perfect and the bullying she suffers at Blackwell. So Chloe and Rachel wanted to be free from Arcadia Bay. Chloe wanted to be free of an abusive step-father and her mother who allows the abuse to go on and Rachel wanted to be free from everything at Arcadia Bay. Started a knew life as a model in LA. It was their Santa Monica Dream. The characterization of Rachel Amber in BTS just feels like D9 does not understand Rachel. Rachel Amber is meant to be a morally grey character. There are hints that she wasn’t this perfect angel Chloe thought she was and then backed away from that perspective out of fear fans would be angry at their depiction of Rachel. Rachel Amber who I knew in the first game was just not there. She had no interesting perspective or enlightenment to offer to Chloe or be the positive force to Chloe or even showed why she was this mysterious chameleon who fit in so perfectly with everyone who was adored by everyone. She was just a pretty looking character model with a great voice actress that would sometimes say very wistful, wide-eyed things. She would also quote boring poetry. Rachel in BTS has no aspiration to be a model and instead of Rachel helping Chloe deal with her grief, the game makes it about Chloe helping Rachel with her family drama. We never get to see Rachel meet Joyce(Joyce in LIS makes it seem like her and Rachel got along) we never get to see Rachel defending Chloe from David or Rachel as this ambiguous character. She’s portrayed as this character that must be protected at all costs, like she’s neither ambiguous nor does she have any agency. It is perfectly okay to show her drift away from Chloe.  Yes they were in love and had this great relationship and they loved each other. It’s important to see and know the people we romanticize are not who we thought they were. Rachel was looking for a way out of Arcadia Bay. She first thought both her and Chloe can escape to LA together. But over time she did not think that was possible anymore. Chloe dodges her car payments and her family is in debt and Chloe is in debt to Frank. She still wants to leave with Chloe, but Rachel needed an alternative way so she and Chloe can escape. So Rachel turned to Frank, she used him for her drugs because as  time goes on, Rachel turns to drugs to numb the pain. She parties with The Vortex Club and as Nathan said “Rachel partied like a fiend on her own.” Hell, she was so desperate to leave Arcadia Bay she even asked the trucker to take her to LA. Then, Rachel meets Mark Jefferson. Rachel saw him as her way to LA. She wanted to have her pictures modeled by a professional, which he was, but Rachel never saw him for what he was. A sheep in wolf’s clothing, a monster. He saw her as the perfect subject. A human chameleon with many visual possibilities and he felt they had a connection. Manipulating her into believing that he is the father figure that James never was for her. Rachel wrote a letter to Chloe in the shack but discarded it. She feels that he changed her life but the discarded letter shows that she felt ashamed about the whole relationship. Her shame indicates that she was apart of the Dark Room. At first she just saw it as a big photography project outside of school, but then Rachel started to look into Jefferson’s past models and figured out something was wrong. In Jefferson’s own words “Not like Rachel, who was always looking in the wrong places. Poor Rachel.” Jefferson of course finds out because The Dark Room is under 24 hours surveillance. So out of fear of Rachel telling everyone, Jefferson kills Rachel, doses Nathan and poses Nathan’s unconscious body with Rachel’s lifeless body. The vibe I got from the first game is that Rachel and Chloe have this very important and special bond. But Rachel just wanted to be free of Arcadia Bay by any means necessary. Rachel would go far to get what she wanted. Someone who is willing to lie to the people she cared about to satisfy her own needs and goals. Personally, I see Rachel as being okay with manipulating everybody BUT Chloe, which gives everybody a foothold to try and gaslight Chloe and Max about her, trying to get them to doubt that Rachel genuinely cared about Chloe.  Rachel wanted a way out and she thought she had her way out, but in the end she played with fire and got burned.

8. The last episode

It was lazily thrown together. The actual GOOD aspects were cut altogether. Rachel does  not dye Chloe’s hair. Chloe and Rachel do not work on the truck together. Rachel does not stand up for Chloe against David. Rachel and Chloe do not kick Eliot’s fuckboy ass. Rachel has to be taken care of instead of Chloe and Rachel working together to save Sera. All the good Amberprice stuff is in the montages. Hell Is Empty was a huge disappointment.

9. Unlike Max, Chloe has no agency in defeating the villain of the game.

The difference between LIS and BTS is the player has a hand in defeating their villains, while in BTS, we do not. Max Caulfield who was tied up and was about to be killed, guides David in defeating and capturing her abuser and villain of her story Mark Jefferson. Max is instrumental in defeating the villain of her story. Chloe Price is knocked unconscious and saved for doing nothing while Frank kills Damon Merrick off screen. Chloe is not instrumental or has any agency in leading to the defeat of the villain(the rushed villain at the last second) of her story

10. Farewell. 

While Farewell is cute and tragic to play, it ultimately does not make any sense. If this is the same day as Max’s last moment with William and before Joyce comes home to tell Chloe the news of William, WHY are Max and Chloe in different outfits? Wouldn’t it make more sense for this to be Max’s last day in Arcadia Bay instead of the last day of William? I feel this especially cause in the BTS Graffiti side of the notebook, it is shown that there is one final episode under episode 3, I kind of feel like this was meant for Farewell and it was meant to be Max’s Farewell, but something changed. It also kind of comes off as wanting the player to hate Max for not staying to say goodbye. What I would prefer is this takes place on Max’s last day in Arcadia Bay and despite William’s accident, Chloe wants to do her best to make sure her best friend gets the best damn send off before her farewell. And Max and Chloe part on good terms instead of Max’s asshole father preventing Max from saying goodbye lol

[ryanmeft]

My Top Performances of 2019, Part 2

Here is the second half of the list of my favorite film performances of 2019. I tried to be as objective as possible, but it’s also a result of personal preferences. As before, the order is unimportant. Part 1 is here:  https://ryanmeft.tumblr.com/post/190668845597/my-top-performances-of-2019-part-1?fbclid=IwAR3_d80vj0FbIVXqWaTV1heUlIDJJmL-JB_ZksaadO_oNRztnhBMICxzTd8

Zhao Tao in Ash is Purest White

She’s got everything you could want in a rusting former industrial town: a good boyfriend who has influence in the area’s small underworld, which gives her power, love and money all at once. In a blink it is all gone, and she finds herself adrift in the world, dealing with the resentments of people with no patience for what she has gone through. Tao is the key component of this crime drama, which is more drama than crime. She does not take the world in blazing force as a crime figure in a Scorsese film might do, but quietly and slowly accepts that the days of her power are past---and unlike the men around her, tries to adapt to, rather than battle, the inevitable.

Ana De Armas in Knives Out

Knives Out is in the grand, disappearing tradition of the character actor, albeit with the parts mostly played by superstars. Yet among a roster that includes Captain America as an irresponsible playboy and Michael Shannon as a professorial-looking semi-Nazi, De Armas’s humble heroine Marta stands out. Maybe it’s because Marta is humble but not naive or entirely innocent, and De Armas manages to capture both her cunning and her honesty without turning her into a doe-eyed victim. She’s the kind of character you want to become a Nancy Drew-esque mystery hero for adults, so you can revisit her later adventures.

Joaquin Phoenix in Joker

Some hated the movie, some loved it, but one thing it seems everyone could agree on is Phoenix’s performance. He’s credited as Arthur Fleck, not as Joker, and his handling of the character couldn’t be more different than any previous portrayal. Arthur is sad and lonely, not at all an enigma---his private life is laid out for us in great detail---and Phoenix portrays him as just sort of being blown through the world, bereft of any real agency. You can debate all day whether the character deserves to be portrayed in a sympathetic way, but you can’t say Phoenix doesn’t pull it off, making us root for this maladjusted, societally-forgotten misfit almost up ‘till the end. 

Sienna Miller in American Woman

In a just world, Miller, hardly a household name, would have her face up on the stage Sunday night for playing this role, a drunken, hard-partying too-young mother and grandmother whose life begins to change when her daughter disappears. I say begins to, because this is not one of those magical stories of miraculous redemption. Debra does not become a good parent to her grandchild right away, and never becomes a great one. Instead, the film follows her throughout years of her life, during which, naturally, she must go on living as she mourns. Miller embodies each stage of this perfectly, never once allowing drama tropes to disturb her unflinching portrayal of an ordinary life.

Jeff Goldblum in The Mountain

What does the word “monster” conjure for you? Whatever traits it brings to mind, they are all present in Dr. Wallace Fiennes. He’s an egotistical, self-interested, callous man who performs lobotomies on mental patients in the 1950’s American heartland, the kind of person for whom his gruesome practice is not an outmoded method to be improved on by advancement, but an art form in itself, and his patients merely the canvas. This isn’t handled like a horror movie: Goldblum is not a mad scientist cackling away in a lab, but an urbane, cultured, engaging professional---which makes him all the more frightening.

Gugu Mbatha-Raw in Fast Color

Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel were, to a large extent, a marketing department’s ideal female superheroes: always flawless, gorgeous even when kicking ass, unable to make any very serious mistakes. Ruth is very much not that. She’s living wherever she can, dealing with the effects of past addictions, running from the government, scared of her own powers. She’s not just unlike any other woman in tights (without the tights), she’s unlike any mainstream superhero ever has, can or will be. Mbatha-Raw is one of our most underrated actresses, and she portrays Ruth in a way that allows us to both sympathize with her plight and support her as she grows stronger. The movie’s not getting a sequel, because the Hollywood franchise machine isn’t ready for imperfect superheroes yet, but it is getting a series, so at least we’re getting more of Ruth in some medium.

Renee Zellweger in Judy

I won’t pretend I knew much about Judy Garland going in, and frankly I’m not sure I understand her after seeing the movie---it was, in most respects, a fairly typical music biopic. Where it broke the mode is in Zellweger’s performance. I think it’s fair to say the once-household name has been largely forgotten by Hollywood in recent years; she never had the perfect starlet looks or the ideal girl-next-door adorableness that is the main standard on which women are judged. But she had the acting chops, and here she finally gets to prove it. Her Garland is twisted and gnarled inside and out by years of sexist treatment and the resulting substance abuse, but still a loving mother to her children and a great singer---and justifiably angry at the industry that used her up and spit her out.

Paul Walter Hauser in Richard Jewell There was never a single chance of seeing the camera pan to Hauser during Sunday’s roll call of acting nominees---both he and the person he plays are about the polar opposite of Hollywood’s image of itself. And it must be said that while Jewell should not be forgotten, Eastwood’s movie, with its ginned-up anti-press narrative, maybe should be. But none of that is on Hauser, whose performance firmly proves that fat guys can be more than bumbling comedic relief or ineffective sidekicks in the movies. It matters that someone who looks like Jewell is portraying him, and that he does it so well that we can almost overlook the film’s other faults.

  Honor Swinton Byrne in The Souvenir

This one was little-seen, and though it generated awards buzz initially, it’s already been largely forgotten. That’s too bad. Byrne’s Julie is a woman torn between her own ambitions and her love for a man who is---abusive? How to judge him? It’s a toxic relationship fueled by addiction on his part, but the movie is more about how you cope with a partner who is committed but not capable of commitment. Perhaps the most resonant aspect of Julie’s character is the way she holds out hope even when everyone tells her not to, even when she herself knows deep down that it is hopeless. You may find this weak, but I’ve never known a human being who wasn’t in some measure susceptible to it.

Jonathan Pryce and Anthony Hopkins in The Two Popes Everyone has strong feelings about the Catholic Church---it’s not a thing you go half-measures on. And every Catholic has strong feelings about the last two Popes---again, they aren’t the kind of personalities that inspire milquetoast reactions. What Pryce and Hopkins do in portraying Francis and Benedict, respectfully, is remind us that no matter how much they claim to be the chosen of God, these are after all two men---two men with flaws and opinions, whose own lives have shaped them every bit as much as the Bible or the church. When they are on screen together, you can imagine them in an odd couple buddy comedy, two aging road trippers tending to the flock. Lots of performances didn’t make my arbitrary 20-point cutoff. To be dead honest with you, it’s entirely possible that if you ask me in a year, I’ll have re-considered who is on the main list and who is in the honorable mentions; the idea that what I say now, when all these movies are fresh in my mind and affected by immediate emotional reaction, has to be my inviolate opinion for all time is silly. That said, here are some excellent and noteworthy performances that didn’t quite make the cut.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Kelvin Harrison, Jr. in Waves

Zack Gottsagen in The Peanut Butter Falcon

Isabela Moner in Dora and the Lost City of Gold

Alessandro Nivola in The Art of Self-Defense

Cate Blanchett in Where’d You Go, Bernadette?

More or less everyone in Little Women (I couldn’t decide, and thought more of the acting than the overall film)

Jodie Turner-Smith in Queen and Slim

Cynthia Erivo in Harriet

Kaitlyn Dever in Booksmart

Edward Norton in Motherless Brooklyn

[practicalpsychology01]

Practical Psychology

Practical Psychology SA gives results by 'doing', and gives you turns that are usable in the run of the plant each and every development in like manner present.

Our cycle outfits you with a perspective for KNOWING and OVERCOMING the issues that are making you cry and reflect.

A structure for UNDERSTANDING, APPRECIATING, and ACCEPTING what is making you experience evilness and contempt.

A structure for working out SOLUTIONS and OUTCOMES with the verification and bearing.

What's going on here?

Looking for help for single loads inventively requires the utilization of figuring everything out, designing, treatment, and by chance hypnotherapy. The clinician is the succeeding fit with the cutoff spots, data, and capacity to pick and get burdens to have flourishing and achievement, where individuals offer mental signs and bits of information.

Managers are set up in the manner an issue may affect an individual's physical, mental, and edge achievement. A Health Psychologist is urged in a way to help with succeeding related issues, for example, gathering torment, rest disturbs, recuperation from dirtying, accomplishment progress, and dodging, and adapting to another life liberated from gravely orchestrated affinities and addictions.

What may I have the decision to utilize it for?

The practical subjects of Psychology and Health Professional are, as necessities are

- Using psychotherapy to control individuals in Adelaide in their treatment of thriving and mental difficulties which result from physical, mental, and dangerous issues and accomplishment and clinical issues.

- Using figuring out, sorting out, and hypnotherapy structure to help with the improvement of the framework to accomplish positive results and satisfaction through flourishing and achievement.

- Using these responses to make practical structures including:

Structures and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Mental Behavior Therapy (CBT)

Freethinker Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Shocking and Clinical Hypnotherapy

Social Therapy (IPT)

Life Coaching

Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)

Strong Psychotherapy

Thought Field Therapy

https://peterstroud.com.au/

[gakkifsrgwqyegna]

Quit Lying to Our Kids About Sex!

I accept there are unquestionable laws that govern our universe. These laws keep the planets in their legitimate circles, govern the lifespan of stars, and keep extending unlimited cosmic systems. I likewise accept there are general laws that govern this planet and the individuals on it. Whether one decides to comply with these laws or not is unessential to the way that these laws exist. And keeping in mind that one may practice his entitlement to challenge these laws, he can't change the natural outcomes of that decision.

For instance, there is a general law of gravity on this planet. I may demand that this law doesn't concern me-that I am not limited by it. I may even exhibit my insubordination by moving to the head of a 20 story building, remaining at the edge, and jumping off. As I fly through the air, the elation of complete opportunity, the mind boggling "surge" fills me to overflowing and I yell, "See, I let you know. The law of gravity doesn't concern me!" Some eyewitnesses on the ground may even become tied up with the act "Look, he's flying, he was correct!" And at that point, with the consistency of the sun ascending in the east and the waves slamming on the shore, the unavoidable happens-decision meets result; general law guarantees her own.

We see this outright and pompous negligence for natural laws surrounding us. We are inundated in a worldwide economic emergency since governments and a few residents disregarded the law of the collect, the laws of profitability, thriftiness, respectability and straightforwardness. However nowhere do I see natural laws more haughtily and recklessly resisted than with regards to standard sex training and our kids. At the point when I state "sex training," I allude not exclusively to the educational program in our government funded schools, yet to the more noteworthy impacts of sexualized TV, movies and Internet pornography. Examination shows that a larger part of youngsters consider the media their principle wellspring of data with respect to sexual issues.

With regards to "sex," what does standard prime-time-big name ized media show our youngsters? To lay it out plainly, "Sexual closeness is an ordinary, natural urge that ought to be promptly and completely communicated between consenting people in the event that it feels better, at that point take care of business." And then they rapidly include, "Yet do it securely." In other words, there are no set widespread laws governing human sexuality. It's basically opportunity of articulation, individual inclination and individual decision. Be that as it may, what is reality? Are there natural, certain laws that govern sexual closeness? Is there an authentic "science" behind sex that Hollywood, pornographers and other profiteers don't need our youngsters to think about?

The Science of Sex

There isn't room in this blog to talk about the entirety of the spiritual and passionate/mental parts of human sexuality. For instance, you can't put a condom on the human heart. There are horde outcomes both spiritually, sincerely and truly when one decides to light the intensity of sexuality. In this blog I need to concentrate on cerebrum science. For over 10 years, I have committed quite a bit of my expert life to the investigation of human sexuality and the impacts of sexualized media and pornography on the human mind. Wonderful neuroscientists and analysts have been charitable enough to put me under their tutelage and direction. Following quite a while of study and expert collaboration with these famous people, I composed my first book on this theme named, The Drug of the New Millennium-The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use (accessible at amazon.com).

While the cerebrum study of sexual closeness could fill many web journals, permit me to share only a couple of the realities.

Our Creator planned sexual closeness to be amazingly ground-breaking. The writing computer programs is incorporated with our very DNA structure. Like other powers in nature, there are natural laws that govern human sexuality. Like the law of gravity, the utilization of sexuality brings outcomes both positive and negative, useful and damaging the consequences of individual decision. To see how the natural laws governing sexuality work, how about we consider what occurs in the mind when an individual becomes sexual.

In sexual procedure, the cerebrum delivers incredible neuro-synthetic substances. Contingent upon the conditions and how the individual decides to utilize these synthetic concoctions, the outcomes can be radiant or grievous.

1. Dopamine: During sexual procedure, the mind delivers a tsunami of dopamine-our own natural "pleasure medicate." This "tranquilize" makes an incredible reliance. This can be a healthy reliance between two life-since a long time ago dedicated people, or it very well may be an addiction reliance on pornography, illegal issues, single night rendezvous, and so forth. Moreover, when dopamine is available, the "limbic framework" or pleasure/reward focal point of the cerebrum dominates and pushes the frontal projections or rationale focus of the mind off the beaten path. On the off chance that the individual isn't in a sheltered, mindful circumstance, the individual in question can make some extremely idiotic or in any event, pulverizing decisions. With "right-use" dopamine brings savvy decisions, healthy pleasure, association, happiness and satisfaction. With "wrong-use" it triggers silly choices, ground-breaking addiction, loss of opportunity, and "medication highs" trailed by discouraging, sad lows.

2. Oxytocin: Known as the "holding concoction," oxytocin floods the mind of new mothers and fathers holding them to their infant kids. At the point when couples clasp hands, grasp and kiss, oxytocin deliveries and starts manufacturing an amazing bond. During sexual closeness, oxytocin bonds people together with a similar sort of synthetic force that bonds a mother to her infant kid. This holding procedure is a brilliant gift in a submitted, life-long marriage. However, envision what happens when this holding substance is delivered during unlawful sex or pornography seeing. Who or what are the people being attached to, and how troublesome will it be to cut off that bond after the "surge" is over?

These are only two instances of the numerous neuro-synthetic substances delivered during sexual procedure. These synthetics were supernaturally intended to make grand "natural" results that are an unparalleled gift and gift. In any case, utilized outside natural cutoff points and limits, they unleash devastation on social orders, families and people. In the event that you question it, simply glance around at the tsunami of outcomes. Outrightly clear models are the big names of sexualized Hollywood and pornography who depict themselves as good examples for the "do whatever feels better" way to deal with life-"There are no all inclusive laws" they shout as they fly carelessly through the air. In any case, definitely, one by one break themselves against the strong stone of evident natural laws. What's more, as we witness their riotous and heartbreaking lives, we wonder, "Do they truly have the appropriate responses about sex?"

[marketwatchblogs]

Fast Joint HEMP Max Lab CBD Oil Pain Relief !

For back relief from discomfort there are numerous choices accessible yet not every one of them are attractive. For some, back relief from discomfort accompanies awkward excursions to the chiropractor. For some others HEMP Max Lab CBD Oil Result accompanies remedies that can cause undesirable intricacies, destructive symptoms, and potential addictions. There are a few situations where medical procedure is expected to achieve back relief from discomfort.

Those choices may not exclusively be awkward and destructive for you, they may come at a quite significant expense tag. Wouldn't it be incredible if there was some way that you have help with discomfort for back issues that was as simple and useful as relaxing? All things considered, in all actuality you can recover some help with discomfort by utilizing some basic breathing procedures.

Taking full breaths for back relief from discomfort will push you to:

Oxygenate Your Blood - There are poisons that buoy around in your body that can expand the measure of agony that you feel. Expanding the measure of oxygen in the blood will help dispose of and flush those poisons out.

Diminishing Tension and Ease Stress - The time and center required to breath profoundly will help carry your body to an increasingly loosened up state and furthermore loosen up your muscles and help free your psyche from pressure. Commonly back torment can be expedited or complemented due to pressure that your body and psyche are feeling.

Traverse the Pain - Many individuals experiencing the most noticeably awful of agonies will find that focusing on breathing will enable you to get past the most difficult minutes. Consider how pregnant ladies are educated to inhale to help them through compressions. This will work a similar path in bringing back help with discomfort.

One exceptionally straightforward breathing procedure that will help bring back relief from discomfort will just take a few minutes and should be possible anyplace whenever. This is incredible for when you have those sharp back agonies that appear suddenly.

1. Locate a Focal Point - HEMP Max Lab CBD Oil Advantage will occupy you from what you are feeling and help you focus on relaxing. In those spots that you are destined to have those sharp agonies, have something that you can look and concentrate in on when the torments hit. Have one in your front room, your room, at your work area at work, or even in your vehicle (however you ought to be pulled over on the off chance that you will do this). Give it a chance to be something that is a loosening up article. A clock doesn't check.

2. Quiet Down - Using the point of convergence, attempt and quiet down. You need to get loose. Disregard for a minute about any cutoff times you may have, that dinner you need to make, or whatever else that may pressure you. Offer yourself a reprieve for two or three minutes.

3. Fix Up - The region between your chest and your gut catch should be loosened up. Your shoulders will be back and your chest standing out. This will make it simpler for the profound breathing to happen.

4. In Through the Nose - Inhale through the nose s-l-o-w-l-y. Check to 3 or 4 at a casual pace. Your lungs ought to top off with air and your stomach extending to take noticeable all around. Envision your stomach is a major pad and the air is your head gradually sinking into it.

5. Out Through the Mouth - Exhale significantly more slow than you breathed in. Your breathe out should accept twice the length of your breathe in. In the event that you checked to 3 on the breathe in, tally to 6 breathing out. Be certain that it is a controlled breathe out and don't compel it.

Do this only two or multiple times on the off chance that you haven't done it before for back help with discomfort. In the event that you get unsteady, it might imply that you were breathing to rapidly. That isn't great. Ensure that it is a moderate, loosening up occasion. To Know More Hemp Max Lab CBD Oil online visit https://apnews.com/2ff1e22245edb5018748c9e304f10299

[satiricalrunner]

#11 Event Week

Taper time!! At this point in my training cycle for anything over a half is always the same. Soo much energy with no outlet. This is never that fun for me (or my wife for that matter, just ask her about taper time she will gladly tell you. LMFAO). Then next creeps in the thoughts. The thoughts of why did I decide to do this? Have I trained enough? Did I train hard enough? Will I make the cut off? I know these thoughts are not my real my rational mind. I can answer all of these questions. So let me take them one at a time.

Why did I decide to do this? For the chance to get a god damn hand made ceramic Mug. That is the simple boiled down answer. The more in depth answer is I am chasing a feeling. That feeling you can only get once. The feeling of completing a distance that first time. The pain that comes with pushing yourself beyond what you have before. Then the emotional and adrenaline dump that happens when you cross that line at x distance for the first time. That feeling is amazing but for me and my addictive personality its enough for that day maybe the next month. But then thoughts move to what is the next challenge.

Have I trained enough? Of course. I have, injury set back and all. While this was not the training I wanted, its the training I got. Accept the injury set back. Recover from the injury. Then adapt, overcome, move on. In the word of Jocko Willink "Good" now I get to re-group, refocus, prepare to push and test my limits faster and harder than normal and prove to me that I am mentally tough and physically resilient.

Did I train hard enough? Hell, yes I did. I did what my coach instructed me, to best of ability. Always trust what coach prescribes and do it exactly as told. Hell, even when I got injured i finished the workout (more out of necessity, kinda have to when it happens in the middle of the woods on a trail, nothing you can do but move forward).

Will I make the cutoff? Well this one I can't answer for sure since I haven't done it yet.  My training says hell yes so I default to that. Yes, I will make it. The hard cut off is at mile 21 6:30:00. Then the course for official cut off is 10:00:00 for 50K.

Nothing left to do, but to do the fucking thing. Run through water crossings, up and down some hills, by a waterfall and through what’s left of an old mill. Just move forward at all costs.

With that all said Lets Fucking Get after it.

[thebestworstidea]

Bar Bet

In the Stolen Century they visited all sorts of worlds. Good ones, bad ones, weird ones. 

In one, gambling was a huge thing. It was not only the main source of entertainment, it was a way of life. Las Vegas world. And Takko got.. annoyingly into it. He made bar bets, he made stupid bets, he had a fucking ball. Not just with the locals, but with the rest of the crew as well. And he crowed about it absolutely lorded it when he won. He was massively addicted to winning.

 And the rest of them got sick of it, but then, worked out a plan. They got him to agree to a contest before naming the terms.

“Hell yeah.” Takko was sure he could win anything. “What’s the game?” 

“Facial hair.” 

“Now wait.”

“We take a month, and Merle’s gonna shave” 

Merle winced but nodded

“And Magnus, he’s even gonna give up the side burns.”

“A necessary sacrifice.” he chimed in.

“And in a month, whoever has the best beard wins. No conjuring, no disguise, just simple growth.”

“You know elves don’t really, I mean,” Takko gestured to his face and in fact, whole body. “Grow body hair.” 

“Oh really?” 

“Yeah, I mean, Lucretia has a better chance than me in a few years.”

“Oh thank you for that.” she commented from where she and Lup were watching this. Lup was just eating popcorn.

“Oh you know what I mean.”

“Well darn Takko.” Merle snorted. “I guess you’re just not going to win this one.”

They laughed and broke up, Merle asking Barry how one went about shaving anyway, shaving not being a thing Dwarfs traditionally did.

“I can’t believe this.” Takko fumed. “I’ve been betrayed, I’ve been tricked, I have been hustled. By my own crew. My dearest teammates.” 

“And you of course would never do that to them.” Lup drawled.

“No!”

“Especially not, oh, every day this week.” 

He gasped, looking hurt. “You too?”

“I had plans Takko. Big plans. Bedroom plans.”

“LA LAALALA” he covered his ears and she got louder.

“And they DID NOT involve Barry wearing heels  and garters and walking down the mainstreet.”

“He made it work.” 

“The daisy dukes cutoffs made it work. That’s not the point.” She threw a piece of popcorn at him, and he caught it. “Just accept it. They got you good. And hey, seeing Merle clean shaven is bound to be good for a laugh. I bet he’s got tanlines.”

Takko made a grudging gesture of acceptance, but frowned.

“This isn’t over yet.” He told her. 

“That’s right. you have thirty whole days to overcome thousands of years of elven genetics.” 

As he left he shot over his shoulder. “And I will.”

       It was a weird couple of weeks. Magnus’s face looked small. Merle did in fact have a beard tan. Barry got scruffy. Davenport seemed to be going for shape as well as length. And Takko... Takko stayed in his room a lot.

“You know.” Magnus joked through the door. “Masturbation only grows hair on your palms.” 

“Well I’m glad to know you shave something regularly.” 

“Hey!”

        There was less than a week left to go when Takko burst into the kitchen proudly. Lup jumped.

“I’ve done it!” he said.

“What?” 

And he pointed at his face, and sure enough, the worst kind of bad teenager mustache and beard was beginning to make itself known.

“How?”

“Oh a lot of hair growth potions. A Lot. And experimentation. With enhancements. It’s alchemy baby, not magic.” he shot her finger guns, content in his rules lawyering. 

“Oh god it’s terrible.” She recoiled physically. 

He stroked his chin.

“I dunno, I’m kind of digging it.I think I may keep it.”

“Oh HELL NO.” Leaping forward she put him in a headlock. “Clearly you slammed a bad potion, and this is an intervention.” 

“Hey hey! Wait”

Snapping her fingers she produced a focused flame and brought it towards his face.

“Holy Shit Lup!” he struggled 

“No! I am not putting up with this! I am not putting up with both of my favorite men looking like idiots, just because my brother is a terrible winner.”

“I’ve always been a terrible winner! You know that! Let’s talk about this before you scorch my face off!” 

‘I’ve got spell shaping. you’ll be fine, you big baby.” 

“You’re INTERFERING WITH THE BET! It’s against the rules! I mean of the world! Do you wanna go to gambler’s prison?!” 

“You’re not going to win with that anyway! Magnus’s sideburns are already back.”

“It’s subjective! Leave my awesome facial hair alone!” 

“It is in no way awesome.”

“At least let me show the guys.”

“Takko, I love you and I am not letting you embarrass yourself like this.” 

They struggled for a few minutes and Takko finally said.

“Ok, you got me. I’ll get rid of it.”

“You will?”

“It wasn’t gonna last anyway.” 

Lup let the flame go out and let him out of the headlock. He smoothed his clothes, held up one finger, then dashed for the deck of the ship.

“I’VE GOT A BEARD!” 

“That’s cool Takko but we all knew you were gay already.” 

At least it got him to stop making quite so many stupid bets. 

[everythings-coming-up-aces]

A Sanders Sides AU

Feat. Dad!Remy

A little something I had to write up after being inspired by a snapshot of a dream. It woke me up at 3am, so like any sane person, I got out of bed (braving the cold winter temperature, bow before my dedication) to write it down. It’s my first time writing anything for Sanders Sides, or even in general, so sorry if this ends up being a big mess of nonsense. Remember, it was late, I was tired, and what even is proofreading?

So like I said, the whole AU idea was inspired by an image my half-asleep brain created, of Remy and his young son Virgil, chilling outside a coffee shop, Remy in his usual leather jacket and dark shades and the largest, most caffeine laden coffee in the entirety of the city. Virgil, like any kid, wanted to look as cool as his dad, so he’s wearing a spare pair of Remy’s sunglasses that keep slipping down his face.

Virgil’s also got his purple patchwork hoodie that’s a few sizes too big, but his dad made it for him, so you’d have to pry it from Virgil’s tiny hands. He’s sipping at his chocolate chip Frappuccino, because Remy may be a pretty relaxed parent, but there’s no way he’s letting his son develop a caffeine addiction at his young age. (That comes in the later years. Being Remy’s son, Virgil’s practically made of half caffeine anyway, it’s an inevitable eventuality)

A few other points in this Universe;

 Remy is trans. He came out to his family in high school, who struggled to accept him. It popped into my head that Remy’s “Gurl” catchphrase came from him saying it to his dad/brothers, who would always get uncomfortable and defensive when Remy would say it to them. It was one of Remy’s petty acts of revenge, making them feel uncomfortable when they made him feel bad about himself. Eventually, he said it so often it became habit (like how I used to say lol ironically, and now I disappoint myself every 2nd text message, and the occasional spoken sentence) even when he later stopped talking to the family that wouldn’t accept him, the phrase still fit with his whole AestheticTM so he just embraced it, and it turned into an endearment towards friends.

Remy is Pan. Who cares what you’ve got, if you know how to use it, and you’re not a shitty person, Remy is up for it. Remy is the one who carried and birth Virgil, who was conceived through a one-night stand. This was probably the catalyst for the complete cutoff of his family, who couldn’t understand how Remy identified as male, but still chose to go through his pregnancy. Remy relied heavily on his high school BFF/ roommate Emile Picani’s support during this time, as he didn’t have any other support system. Emile was of course named Virgil’s godfather.

When he first left home, Remy had a bit of saved money that he used to help Emile with rent/food plus things for baby Virgil. Luckily, the landlord was a family friend of the Picanis, so Emile got a fair discount on the rent. Remy would get an odd job here and there over the years, but it was hard to keep a steady job while also looking after a baby. Remy struggles to find employment, (it doesn’t help that you seem to need 5 years of experience for an entry-level job) but thanks to his skill with a pen and his imagination, he eventually found a decent paying job as an artist in a shady all-night tattoo parlor. He has to work the night shifts, so Emile looks after Virgil overnight and Remy gets home in time to wake Virgil up and get him ready for school. The two walk the 10 minutes to the school together, Virgil holding tightly to his dad’s hand. They get a few odd looks on their way, due to Remy’s slightly eccentric style, but Mrs. O'Neal who lives down the street from the school always waves at little Virgil from her porch every day.

Once Virgil is at school, Remy practically passes out the second he gets home, in order to get some sleep before his next shift of work. Emile works nearish to Virgil’s school, so he picks Virgil up after work and drives them both to the apartment. When he gets home, Virgil sits quietly at the table and does his homework, asking Emile for help when necessary. At 5.30 on the dot, Virgil runs into his dad’s room and jumps on the bed to wake him up in time to get ready for work. (It takes a while for Remy to wake up, and there’s usually a tickle fight at some point in the wake-up process)

 Most nights Emile will have dinner ready by the time Remy has woken up and showered, and the 3 will sit on their couch and talk and laugh. Virgil ‘helps’ Emile cook (perhaps washing the carrots, or half peeling vegetables or stirring a mixing bowl.) and Remy makes a big fuss on complimenting every meal Virgil makes. He and Emile have noticed Virgil is a bit of a quiet, anxious kid, so he acts like it’s the best meal he’s ever eaten, until Virgil collapsed into proud giggles. Some nights Remy and Virgil whip up a meal together, of varying states of creativity and edibility (think Misha Collins cooking with his kids, levels of creative)

Remy always tries to be one of those parents that lets their kids be kids and explore their creativity. He lets Virgil pick out his clothes and toys, never makes him only pick ‘boy’ things. Remy himself has a bit of an alternative style, dyed hair and tattoos and the like (the last tattoo he got was Virgil’s name over his heart), and Virgil is constantly wanting to emulate his dad. Almost every year, he asks Remy to give him ‘tattoos’ for Halloween and Remy draws elaborate designs (with skin safe markers of course) that Virgil loves with all his heart. He goes around showing them off (as much as someone as shy as him shows off). Maybe one day Virgil asks if he could have his hair dyed similar to Remy’s (after checking if there was a school rule against colored hair as he doesn’t want to get in trouble. Fortunately, no such rule exists). Remy obliges happily, and dyes Virgil’s hair in their living room that weekend, Black Cauldron playing on the TV in the background.

Virgil is ecstatic when he sees his purple hair for the first time, running up to Emile to show it off. Unfortunately, other people aren’t as accepting Remy and Emile, and Virgil has his first confrontation with bullies at school. Remy was ready to throw hands when he heard some little shits were making fun of his son, but Virgil convinced him not to do anything drastic.

Since Virgil is a pretty quiet keep-to-himself kind of kid, on the rare occasions Remy is called into the school, he knows it’s serious. And heaven help any teacher if they call him in for an easily resolvable issue because Remy is pure sass and no restraint when he is tired. The poor principal was near tears the time they called Remy over Virgil having punched a kid. Remy was furious when he learned the kid had been threatening to cut the purple out of Virgil’s hair, to the point of grabbing a pair of scissors, and Virgil had been defending himself. (this actually happened to me once in primary school. I have curly hair, and another kid wanted to take a piece home with them. I was not enthused)

The important Saturday morning coffee outings have been a tradition for a few years now. Remy needs the caffeine to stay awake during the day after working nights during the week. Their regular place is a 15-minute walk from their apartment (which Virgil spends getting piggybacked by his dad) and is across the road from a park, so once they’ve finished their drinks, Remy takes Virgil across to work off the sugar at the playground. They go so often, the coffee shop staff know them both well, and everyone always fusses over Virgil in all his adorable glory. They are some of the few people he is excited to show his Halloween tattoos to, and his purple hair makes them all squeal at the cuteness.

I have a few other ideas here and there, and some possible ways for the other sides to be incorporated. I don’t know if this is gonna interest anyone though, so I dunno if I’ll write any more up.

[thecbdedibles-blog]

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