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alwaysobsessed777 · 9 days

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SAILOR SONG PT. 2 - N.M.

Words: 1267

Warnings: None other than it being sad (sorry)

Summary: Slowly falling in love with Nika. Things just seem to be going so perfectly, but nothing last forever....

I don't believe in God, but I believe that you're my savior

"Nika?" She lifted her head from my chest, a small smile on her lips.

"Yeah?"

"I love you," Her smile grew. I wanted nothing more than to be with her for as long as I possible could. I felt...happier, more myself. She made me, me.

"I love you too, y/n," She leaned in, placing a soft kiss to my lips. Her hand finding my cheek, burning and flushed red.

"I've never been so happy in my life. You make me feel like there's a reason to live," I spoke, her face dropping. Her forehead resting on mine.

"Bab-" I cut her off, "No, I mean it," I pull my face away from hers. "You're everything to me, I don't think I can lose you."

She blurted out something I hadn't expected, "I can't be."

"Why not? You already are, you mean so much to me," She started to get up, wanting to leave.

"My parents, they'd...they wouldn't approve," She paused, "But, God, do I love you more than my own life."

"It's not up to them, we make our own decisions," She sighed.

"I can't lose my parents, y/n," She moved toward me, her hands finding my waist, "But, I don't wanna lose you either."

"Do we just not tell them?"

Her face went through every emotion, almost as if she was going through every possible outcome. "As long as we keep it between us."

I was willing to do anything, anything to keep the woman that seems to save my life everyday by just being here. I shook my head, agreeing. Nika pulled me into a hug, her face cuddled into the crook of my neck. My hands found her back, rubbing slightly.

"I'll do anything for you, Niks," Instead of a word from the girl, she placed small kisses on my neck.

And when we're getting dirty, I forget all that is wrong

Our bodies intertwined, skin too skin, I almost forgot that the world would never know she was mine. The way we made each other feel, every word shared between us, it was only ever going to be between us.

"That," Nika says, her breaths becoming even, "That makes me feel like we're supposed to be together."

"Why?"

"Nahiem wouldn't have ever thought about me...you did. That's all you think about, no matter the case. Your better than any person on this planet, y/n," Her words sending chills through me, my cheeks flushing red.

"Nik-" She cut me off, "What if I was to tell my parents? Convince them we're supposed to be together. That you've been the only person to make me feel like...I care, like I matter. Y/n, if I had to come out, it would only ever be for you. Losing them would me nothing compared to losing you."

I sat there, words not wanting to escape my mouth, "Nika, you can't throw your whole family away for me."

"I will. Who knows, they might not hate that fact I found someone that makes me feel so special."

"Nika."

"I'm going to Croatia next week."

Dumbfounded again, I sat there, trying to form words, "When did you plan this?"

"Last night. I wanna talk to my parents. I wanna tell them about us, or at least that..." The words seemed to stick in her throat, "That I'm gay."

Her body shivered against mine, "Niks, you don't have too. Don't do it 'til you're ready."

"I'm never gonna be ready, I just...I just gotta do it. If I don't do it now, I'll never do it. I'll never be fully myself."

I nod, "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow night."

I couldn't imagine being without her for a week. I couldn't imagine her being across the world and me not being there to comfort her when she decided to come out. I wanted to go with her, but it was best for me not to.

I sleep so I can see you and I hate to wait so long

She left, she went to Croatia. I worried, I hadn't been able to leave my bed. I wanted her next to me. I wanted to know she wasn't going to possible destroy her life back home. All these thoughts, they only stayed when I was awake. Only when I allowed myself away from my bed, the last place she was before she left to her home.

The thoughts would overwhelm me, the void of her not being her overwhelmed me. I wanted to see her, be with her, talk to her, do anything with her.

I couldn't.

I was here, she was there. She'd call every night, my mornings. She'd update me. She'd tell me what she had planned.

"Baby, I miss you," She pouts, a small smile spreading on my lips.

"I miss you too, Niks," She's constantly look around, hoping no one was eavesdropping.

"I haven't told them yet," Her expression changed, nervousness peaking through her happy exterior, "I think I'm gonna wait 'til it's close to time for me to leave."

I nod, "Whatever is best for you. You really don't even have to do it."

She shook her head, "No, I want to. That's just the best time."

"Who you on the phone with?" Nika's eyes darted to the door.

"Bye, y/n. Love you." She hung up.

I didn't even get to respond. I laid back in bed, hoping to fall back asleep. Then I could have dreams of her, of our future. If there even was one.

But nothing can capture the sting, Of the venom she's gonna spit out right now

I waited at the airport for her, she never came. I was worried, maybe she stayed another day. I texted her, I called her, nothing. I tried one more time, finally, she picked up.

"Did you end up staying another day?" I asked, concern laced in my tone.

"Oh, um, I forgot to tell you," She paused, "Nahiem came and picked me up. I'll tell him to drop me off at your place though."

My stomach dropped, why him? Why not me? We were together, or at least I think we are.

"Oh, okay."

"You're not mad are you?" I couldn't pinpoint the emotion that she must've felt, so I just answered.

"No."

"I'm sorry," She sounded like she meant it, I sighed.

"It's okay."

I made my way back to my place, trying to find a reason for her to pick him over me. Nothing. I couldn't think of anything.

I walked through the door, Nika meeting me there. She pulled me into a hug, whispering in my ear.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Please let me explain?" She pulled away slightly, her eyes pleading.

"Of course," She sat me down on the couch, her hands intertwining with mine.

"I told them."

I stared at her, disbelief evident on my face, "What?!? How'd it go?"

Her eyes began to tear up, "They told me...it wasn't natural. It's not supposed to happen. They think the demons are taking over my body."

I gasped, pulling her into a hug, "I'm so sorry."

"They're forcing me to get back with Nahiem. I have to break up with you," Her voice broke, my heart shattering.

"Nika," I tried, she wasn't going to listen.

"No, y/n, we're done."

"Please, you can't do that," I went to grab for her hand, her yanking it from me.

"I never loved you, my parents were right," Tears fell from her eyes, she didn't believe what she was saying.

"Nika, we could keep it secret. Please, I can't lose you," Tears falling from my own eyes. She ran up to me, pressing our lips together.

"In another life."

She opened the door, "Nika, we could say you and Nahiem are together. We'll lie to them, I know you still love me. I love you."

She looked back, shook her head, and left.

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A/N: Sorry guys, but there's gonna be one more part. It might get better.

#wcbb #nika muhl x reader #nika muhl #wbb #uconn wbb #wnba basketball #womens basketball #wnba players #Spotify

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notmorbid · 5 days

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not found.

dialogue prompts from 3x9-4x4 of usa's mr. robot.

i lost everything because of you.

time to grow up. there are no gods.

didn't mean to interrupt.

it's weird being here again. we're coming full circle.

we can protect you. we'll make things right.

i'm sorry i was such a pain in the ass.

maybe i'm not as cool and collected as i put on.

haven't you learned my social game isn't my strong suit?

you have to get out. right now. trust me.

i thought you were on my side.

it's not that i'm out of moves. it's that you're not worth one.

why don't you tell me how i should be thinking?

if you're a leader, then where are your followers?

you can't force an agenda. you have to inspire one.

believe it or not, i'm actually a real person.

you're not talking your way out of this.

what would you do if you had your way?

what? are you scared of me now?

anything you can remember? any detail?

i brought this on myself. this is on me.

the sick part is, i actually missed you.

the only reason we've not been talking is i haven't let myself.

i've been scared of myself. of the part of me that is you.

your naïveté is adorable.

you don't care about anyone but yourself.

how am i going to keep you honest?

know that i will find you.

find a way to live with what you did.

you are a terrible person. don't ever convince yourself of anything else.

all you deserve for the rest of your life is pure and utter agony.

you've taken everything from me. my whole life is ruined because of you.

stay indoors and stay off the streets.

i'm here to remember for you.

do you really believe undoing this is going to fix anything?

i can't live with what i did anymore.

whatever happens after this, i want us to keep talking.

you talk like this, and i cannot protect you. you have to relent.

you're panicking right now.

how much did you do, a little or a lot?

you have been following me, haven't you?

i've hurt so many people.

my anger won't die with me.

i thought we were goners.

don't you feel a little relieved?

why should i feel like a dick for being happy?

maybe you should take a minute and deal with what's happening.

you need to stop and take it in, or else it'll eat away at you. like everything else you're holding in.

how do you do it? how do you just move on like that?

i'm in. whether you like it or not.

why aren't you getting ready?

why don't you go without me?

we can finally be our true selves.

i don't know how much longer i can go on like this.

if someone asks for your patience, they're asking for your surrender.

they say once you pull that trigger, it changes you.

i don't feel safe around you.

what's happening to you?

nothing's ever gonna change with you, is it?

what do you call someone who's lost everyone? a survivor, or a walking time bomb?

you gotta be more detailed. the devil is in that shit.

i know what it's like. hating yourself.

you know, you can't scare me.

there's a lot more crazy where that came from.

letting people in doesn't have to hurt.

i don't want to say i hate you, but i hate you.

do i know you? you look awfully familiar.

do you really want to deal with the hassle of calling the cops?

wouldn't hurt you to learn some manners.

have you ever considered leaving?

it sounds pathetic to say aloud, but i actually care. that's why i'm a failure.

goodbye is short and final.

i know it might not be my place, but i want to help you.

i don't want you to hurt yourself.

did you ever care about me? be honest. i can take it.

i think you're the only person i know who actually likes me.

i'm just gonna go for a walk.

#rp meme #ask memes #inbox memes #rp memes #tv meme #sentence starters

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jascurka · 15 days

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Hey, I gotta say i've been a fan of yours for a few years, and you're an extremely talented artist! Your expressions and the soft way you color makes everything seem almost comforting in most of your work, and it's really cool to see!!

I guess i haven't been caught up in a while cause i haven't watched mob psycho in a bit but i noticed you've gotten into mobrei

I'm not here to harass you or yell at you and i am not expecting a response, but i gotta say i understand, when you age up characters it makes the power dynamic seem balanced and ok, i understand these are characters you love a lot and fanart and fancontent is probably a big source of comfort

But encouraging such an unhealthy power dynamics especially as someone with a larger audience you gotta understand is not ok It's not about the characters and it's not about how you view it, it's about us as people needing to show that these unhealthy dynamics are not ok

if you found out your minor little brother was dating an adult you would be worried about him, if you found out your little brother who is now of age was dating an adult who was very close to him when he was a minor you would be worried about him

I'm not upset because it's mob psycho or if it was any other characters i'm upset because you're portraying something borderline pedophilic as ok

I'm honestly a little dissapointed to see that you've sort of adapted proshipping beliefs, yk at least what i can say about myself is that i'm not against proshippers because i hate shipping and i don't believe love is love

I'm against proshipping because incest, pedophilia, and other dynamics that lead to assault and imbalanced power are not ok and we shouldn't be teaching people especially minors that they are

The more content there is normalizing abusive power dynamics the more people think thats ok, the more minors can normalize it, the more minors can think its ok to date a family member or an adult or just anybody who may hurt them because they were taught that love conquers all differences even when that love is between a 14 year old and a 25 year old or even 18 and 29

Again i'm not trying to hate on you i'm not trying to yell or anything like that i just really hope that you'll read through this and just think about it at least a little bit again this isn't about characters this is about real life

Here are some things you need to realize:

The main purpose of my art isn't to be educational about healthy relationships and it's not focused on portraying "the right thing" all the time.

I assume enough emotional intelligence in my audience to recognise that the ships that I in fact label as problematic already - are flawed and are not healthy to happen in real life.

I want to explore nuanced or taboo things in my art but I'm also a sucker for lovey-dovey feel-good stories and it's not your business to convince me to draw ships more how you want them just so kids on tumblr can have a good example of what abuse looks like.

I am not encouraging anyone to pursue relationships like these! Real life is much more complex than what a scribble on tumblr can reflect on anyway. The content I make of these ships is purely fictional and isn't safe to enact in the real world.

I don't appreciate you trying to bring my relatives into this argument, you're being insensitive bringing them up at all. Of course I don't want anyone, not just my family, to stay in an unhealthy relationship. I think most sane people on earth would be against that, no? Do you just assume I'm okay with horrible things happening to people around me because I like to draw unhealthy and toxic ships?

I didn't "adapt" proship beliefs recently. Not harassing people for their fictional ships and stories has always been very easy for me, even if their content makes me uncomfortable. I prefer to block things I don't want to see over acting entitled about what someone draws or writes.

I already state on my page that my blog has sensitive and mature topics and viewer discretion is advised. I could always draw the "worse" aspects of the relationship or more "abusive" side of the ship so you won't have to reach far below the surface to find the problematic side of it, but I get the feeling you don't want me to do that - you just want me to stop drawing a pairing you find icky. I can add an additional disclaimer in my profile if this all wasn't enough for you but I won't stop drawing them holding hands and blushing until I get bored of it.

EDIT: I do want to thank you for the compliments on my art however, I forgot to add it yesterday.

#answered #not to mention that you shouldn't assume a relationship's nature or basis is healthy just because the characters are portrayed as happy #look at serirei - peak example of encouraging people to date their manipulative lying boss who underpays you and has more social experience #than you and could use you for his own gains!#I'm joking of course........ or am I.#to be honest I don't even want to draw mobrei explicitly outwardly abusive that much #sorry to everyone who wanted to see that 😞#discourse

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lunarmoonheart · 3 months

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hfff day one: make it sapphic

summary: basically a rewrite of the first bit of npmd. lautski with lauren!peter aka piper.

(ive never posted a fic before so if anything is weird thats why)

title: take a chance on me ship: lautski prompt: make it sapphic

Stephanie lauter did not like highschool in fact some days she felt like it was killing her. So when she walked into her first class and found out they had a pop quiz she was pissed. She didn't study of course because why the hell would she. Besides she was very invested in a twitter argument about that dog from the kennel that bit her dad. She was of course on the dog's side. Whatever she has to start this goddamn test.

“What the hell is this shit?” Stephanie mutters under her breath. She does not remember learning this. Though she does skip this class a lot so she probably missed it. While frantically trying to come up with some way to pass she remembers that weird nerd sits behind her.

“Hey nerd listen up.” she mutters as she turns to the nerd. God what was her name piper or something?

“Me?”

“Yes you. Piper right?”

“Uh yeah wh-”

“Hi Piper, we've been in class together for a little while now, right?”

“Since first grade.” oh fuck how the hell do i not remember this really cute nerd?

“Well I'm just realizing I haven't introduced myself. Im stephanie.”

“Lauter, the mayor's daughter, I know.” god why did everyone know her as the mayor's daughter couldn't she just be steph.

“Well my friends call me steph. We’re friends aren't we piper?” please for the love of god say yes you fucking nerd.

“I don't know, are we?”

“Well uh i wouldn't advertise it to the whole school or anything but uh there's an unspoken bond between us. We are nighthawks aren't we? And nighthawks don't leave anyone behind.”

“I got left behind this morning. The bus driver is a fucking asshole.” How is this nerd so funny but also such a geek?

“Well we succeed together and fail together. So to be honest I'm gonna fail this test piper… unless you help me cheat.”

“Cheat?!”

“Yeah just finish your exam pass it to me then i'll put my name on it. Then you can take the test again. Isn't that fun?”

“Well yeah. But won't we get in trouble?”

“Please piper. Help a girl out won't you?” ok she looks convinced. Wait shit is that grace chastity shit shit not her damn it shes gonna ruin this.

“Cheaters!” god fuckin dammit.

“Butt out chastity!”

“Grace, just be cool” Piper stuttered out. Why the hell is that cute?

“Never” god this girl is a bitch.

“Miss Mulberry, they're cheating!” im so fuckin dead.

Well great here I am waiting outside the principal's office with this damn nerd. God my dads gonna kill me or worse take my phone.

“Look-”

“Oh god im so dead im so fucking dead.”

“Girl chill it's fine. This your first detention or something?”

“No, I'm worried about him. If he sees me talking to STEPHANIE LAUTER I'm dead.”

“Relax nerd, we'll be fine.”

“NO you'll be fine cause your stephanie lauter i won't be fine because im piper spankoffski.”

Spankoffski that's a weird last name. Wait oh my god.

“Are you the kid that got lured into the gym last year and-”

“Yeah that's me can we just not talk about that.”

“But you're a literal legend!”

“Please stop, I hate talking about it.”

“Ok ok fine.”

Well detention sucked. And my dad stole my goddamn phone so now I have to actually study so I can get it back. What the hell am i supposed to do though study with stacy and brenda. No, they are almost doing as bad as me. Kyle and Jason are a definite no. Oh god I gotta call that nerd don't i.

“Come on nerd pick up” stephanie whispers outside pasqualli’s in the small phone booth. Why this thing is still around she has no idea but she's glad at this moment. As the phone keeps ringing steph thinks back to her conversation with piper. If one could call it that. But besides that she seemed nice and she's actually pretty cute. For a nerd cute for a nerd.

“Hello?” Steph perks up when she hears the confused hello of Piper spankoffski.

“Hey piper?”

“Yeah who is this?”

“Its steph from school.”

“Oh steph uh hi whats up?”

“I need your help. My dad stole my phone and I need to get my grades up to get it back so could you help me out?”

“I don't know i mean-” steph hears some weird noises through then a voice speaks up

“She's on her way!”

“Uh who the hell is this?”

“Ruth and Richie pipers only friends. she's on her way.”

“Ok uh tell her to be at pasqualli’s. Thats where im at.” steph hears some more weird noises and a muffled “pasqualli’s! Piper that's-” before the person presumably Ruth is cut off by piper.

“Sorry about them. I'll be there in 10.” Steph just smiles before hanging up and going inside. As promised ten minutes later piper spankoffski walks inside looking flushed and frustrated until she sees steph. She walks over and sit across from steph setting a heavy looking backpack next to her.

“So what did you want to go over? I brought some of my books because I wasn't sure what you wanted to do." That's actually pretty sweet of her.

“I need help with my math. I am failing that class. I mean my other grades aren't great but I'm really failing math.”

“Ok cool, we're in the same class so I should be able to help. I brought some flashcards you could take home with you if you don't want to that's fine, I know they dont work for everyone.”

They work for about an hour before steph sighs tiredly causing piper to look up from the paper. They look at each other for a moment before piper looks back at the paper. Ok steph can work with this. Steph put her hand on Piper's arm.

“So Piper, I think I'm done studying for tonight. Wanna get out of here?”

“Where would we go? It's getting kinda late. I'm not sure anything is still open.”

“We could go to my place. My dads at some dumb charity ball all night so we could do whatever." Piper blushes at this and again for some reason Steph thinks it's cute.

“Uh ok sure.” perfect.

“Alright let's go nerd.” Steph grabs Piper's hand and drags her out of pasquallis. She already paid for their drinks so she drags Piper out to her car and drives to her house. When they arrive she leads Piper to the living room and turns on some random trashy Christmas movie. They sit in silence before Piper speaks up.

“Why'd you invite me to your house steph?”

“What do you mean why?”

“I mean i'm a nerd and your the stephanie lauter. The most popular girl in hatchetfield high. You're not supposed to want to hang out with people like me.”

“Eh, I can hang out with whoever I want. I dont give a shit what anyone may say about me hanging out with you. You're smart, funny, nice, and you're kinda cute” they both stay silent not sure what to say next. Piper yawns and accidentally leans her head on stephs shoulder. Steph blushes and turns to look at piper.

“You tired pie?” Steph isn't exactly sure where that nickname came from but she doesn't really care. Piper blushes and looks up at steph.

“A little. Do you mind if i?”

“Not at all. Hey, I kinda enjoyed tonight. I know we were studying but your good company. So I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out again? I was thinking maybe dinner at Miss retros or something.”

“Do you mean like a date?”

“I guess so yeah. So what do you say?”

“Sounds nice.”

@femslashfortnight

#hfff #hatchetfield femslash fortnight #lautski #make it sapphic au #hfffday1

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thecameronchronicles · 2 years

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Enemy

TW: Smut. Language. Semi-public sex. Degrading Language. Spanking. Choking. Blackmail

SUMMARY: Your enemies with benefits arrangement reaches a fever pitch the night of Kook’s party…

WORD COUNT: 2000

*Requested*

Anonymous asked:

can you do smth where you're the biggest enemies with rafe but your chemistry is so good and intense that y'all can't help but be friends w benefits and every one of your fights ends with rough sex 😩😩yk spanking, slapping, choking, all of that 😳 so you're just fighting and arguing as usual one day and then he fucks the shit out of you lol, also pls add lots of dirty talk and degradation oops

Enemy

You didn't need another reason to hate him as he had given you plenty. You two couldn't be anymore different in every context, at least all but one...that lack of passion with anyone else. That rush of adrenaline and need taken and delivered to a partner who understood your kinks without judgement. And it was made worse by your tension, more specifically that red hot chemistry that left those around you in preparation to infiltrate before bloodshed. But it never got to that point, at least before the eyes of your individual friends. But it would be the reason for being kicked out of events with your lack of civility and shared hot-headedness. Only, unbeknownst to those same friends, that you two would fuck in the backseat of his truck or even the back of that same building as a means for an outlet.

And tonight would prove to be no different....

"Well if it isn't the littlest pogue..." Rafe teased, coming up to you as you glared at him as he was joined by Topper and Kelce. Meanwhile, Kie and Sarah let out a united sigh of annoyance as they knew what was about to come. The banter that quickly turned to genuine insults, and the final blows before someone on either side of your friend group would split you two apart.

"And if it isn't the dumbest kook-" The boys all looked at each other.

"I'll let you all decide on that one...either way-"

"And what makes you so smart, huh? Because looks to me you're too fucking dumb to know you aren't wanted here...or anywhere…"

"Oh really?" You cocked your brow. Another detail of your interactions were that nobody, absolutely nobody, knew how you truly released your frustrations against one another. It is what also made it that much more exciting for you two. It let your arguments act as foreplay. Those narrowed eyes and raised pulses as the touches you couldn't offer in public. And you both relished in that. This dirty little secret only you two shared.

"Anybody want to do body shots?!" You invited, a string of men and women already creating a line as Sarah tried to warn you against this as Kiara shook it off and helped you get set up.

"Looks to me like there are a LOT of people who want me, Rafe. And any one of them can have me." You moved even closer. "Everyone BUT you..." an echo of a kiss left his eyes to narrow as you were well aware how his eyes were on your sss as you turned from him.

Sometime later after your body was sticky with alcohol, he found you moving towards the bathroom.

"Someone finally convinced you to shower? Do they not have any soap on The Cut-" Your eyes fell to the lack of witnesses on you now, only an empty corridor that let you express your need to corrupt yourself in this dead-end interaction yet again.

"Actually...I had so many men's tongues up and down my body...made me so wet Rafe...I've gotta take care of myself..." You were able to slam the door in his face, locking it tight, before rolling your eyes at how easily he was effected by your words. While cleaning off your skin with a cloth, he made a fist against the door, barreling against it with that grasp, as he threatened you in repetition.

"Open the fucking door! I'll break the thing down if I have to! You think I'm fucking joking?! Don't try me!"

"Oh? And what are you gonna do, Rafe?" You teased before cleaning yourself up. But his battering continued, worsening against the door as the entire bathroom shook.

"Jesus Christ, Rafe, you're gonna tear the house-" You opened the door, slamming at his back as he rushed you towards the sink, bending you over it as you faced your mutual reflection.

"You wanna let other guys touch you like that and think i won't expect it? Such a dumb fucking slut. Needs my cock to straighten you out. Ain't that right?" You moaned to his words, your pussy throbbed at such degradation.

"Get off of me!" You fought, not wanting to have a recent bout in the bathroom of this house.

"Where's don't get to decode where where get fucked. They just GET fucked. So unless you want-" You tried to free yourself from him, but he would only lift your dress to your navel, you lack of panties making him scoff.

"You too dumb to remember to wear anything or just THAT fucking desperate." You groaned as he teased the lips, taking him in like quicksand as you moved your body to try and garner some form of friction for relief.

"My God, you’re pathetic. Lucky for you…I’m in a good mood watching all those other assholes take shots off of you…knowing none of them get to fuck you like me…” But to this inflation of his esteem, you met his eyes in the mirror before you both.

“Who says?”

He scoffed.

“Me.” He was undressed and inside of you in seconds, his face contorting to those looks of pleasure that made your fantasies alight against your hatred for him. Every blaring red flag and reminder that this would only be painful for you both as one was more possessive and intense than the other, nothing else seemed to matter but the release you could grant each other in this moment. But for Rafe, it would be more than a moment as he wanted to prolong it, wanting to make you understand just how beneath him you were.

“On your fucking knees.” He ordered as you prepared your mouth for him, licking your lips for what you’d assumed to be a rough assault on your throat as payment for his aggressiveness made against you. But instead, he would sit on the edge of the tub, cock in hand.

“Crawl…”

“Rafe..” You cocked your head as he suddenly rushed you, hair lifting your face up following the smack he set against your cheek,knowing just how hard to make contact, as you looked at him with eyes glazed over in lust.

“Crawl, bitch.” He demanded again, returning to the rim of the tub.

“Eyes to me. But don’t fucking touch me…” You obliged, moving slowly to allow the way your breasts fell towards gravity having taken the majority of his attention.

“Take it off. I hate that fucking dress, you look like a whore…” When sitting before him, your ass at rest to your heels, you would sit naked for him, his hand almost sweet against your cheek as a knock suddenly came to the door.

“Fuck off!” He charged as you chuckled beneath him.

“You think this is funny?”

“I think it’s funny how desperate you are to fuck me…What WOULD your friends think, Rafe? A dirty little pogue getting railed by you? How I can make you whimper for me…How you’ve come on every inch of me-” His eyes closed at the remembrance of your prior interactions, ones that still left marks on your skin from a lack of a safe word.

“Or maybe they’re just as willing…Maybe Topper-”

“He wouldn’t touch you…you’re too dirty…”

“And Kelce? I always see him staring at my ass…Maybe JJ would be-”

“Nobody touches you but me.”

“You don't own me, Rafe. I fuck you because you’re good at it, the only thing you’re good at, not because I love you…I wouldn’t love someone who treats me like you do…”

“I don’t need you to love me. But I have no interest in fucking someone who’s filled with someone else. So if you wanna come…you’re gonna pledge yourself to me.”

“Rafe-” His hand wrapped around your throat.

“It wasn’t a question or an option…So help me God, if you do anything but agree, I’ll carve my name in that pretty little ass so anyone even tries to take you like I know you like, and they’ll know they’re fucking with me.” You swallowed hard, a mindless action made difficult by the grip tightening around your throat.

“Not to mention what I’ll do to YOU if you let them…So I’m gonna mark you all up…make you breathless and dripping…crying and begging…every fucking chance I get. I don’t care who finds out…you’re mine-” Before you could object, his lips crashed to yours. His tongue was in a frenzy to yours, making you breathless in every possible way, before you were taken over the edge of the tub.

“I know you’ll say anything for my cock, so I’m gonna make you prove it so I know you aren’t lying to me-” A hand came to your bare ass, forcing you against the cold tub. But when he was only silent, that sting acting as the last form of contact, you would be forced to face him, watching him point his phone’s camera to you.

“Proof.”

“Blackmail-”

“A sex tape for later…” He corrected, “Either way, leverage…” You groaned in front of him as he recorded the way his cock disappeared into yoru sex.

“For someone who hates me, your pussy loves my cock-” He slapped your ass, your body sent forward once more as he brought the camera to your face.

“Ever wanted to go viral? You try me and you will be, I fucking gurantee you will-”

“Jesus Christ!”

“Hypocrite don't’ you think? Calling out to a God no matter how much of a fucking whore you are? Bet you don't pray for him unless it’s my cock pounding you, isn’t that right?”

“Please!” You pleaded once his hand came to your clit.

“Not until you say it. Say you’re mine and you get to come…”

But you clenched your teeth. Saying you were his meant more than dry words spoken in the moment. It meant possession and possessiveness; a portion of it thrilling you, but a larger having reminded you that all this would all just be chaos. But your body’s current state and that consistent edging left you desperate.

“I’m yours!”

“Again-look at me, at the camera! Tell me it again, bitch.”

“I’M YOURS, RAFE!” You belted as he nodded, thrusting into you and making himself come first before allowing you that promised release. Your thighs drenched with a mix of cum as he would take the camera down the cascade.

“She fucking squirted for me…Even further proof-”

“I hate you, Rafe…” You spoke through your breathless breathing as he scoffed.

“But you’ll keep letting me fuck you because you need it. Because no pogue or kook-no tourist-nobody else will get the chance to prove me wrong. And if you’re stupid enough to test me, I’ll make you so fucking sorry…”

“I already am sorry I met you…”

“And yet, you’ll STILL come back to me.” He took hold of your jaw, pulling his phone to view, “Maybe next time I’ll let you record me…We can watch it…make you touch yourself?” You clenched your jaw, your hand swiping across his cheek as he scoffed.

“Next time. You’re gonna pay for that…” He would release you following an aggressive kiss as you were left in the debris he left behind. Even if you were rushed with temporary guilt to what you’d allow him to do to you, the moments with him were incomparable. The rush of what i meant to fuck Rafe Cameron was enough to silence those degrading words and abuse he’d allowed. And you knew, just as he did, that you WOULD be back, or he would simply take you anyway…

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae

#rafecameron x reader #rafecameronfanfiction #rafecameron #rafe cameron #outerbanks #obx #outer banks smut #obxsmut #obx fanfiction

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nero-ya · 11 months

Text

Alright it's time again we've gotta talk so get comfy and remember that this post is only my opinion or rant whatever you wanna call it.

I don't really know myself....just wanted to share it with the world....or something like that.

The first time I saw Law appear on screen I didn't really know if I should love or hate him, for real his attitude was cool but at the same time I thought he was the biggest emo bitch I ever met but I still found him very interesting so I started to read fanfictions about him.

I don't know if it was only me but the first fanfics about law were mostly him being a sadist and an asshole and I can understand, It wasn't easy to get a good understanding of him or to get a good grip on his personality at the beginning but for me that changed after the Dressrosa arc and the Noval about him and his past before he went to sea.

Btw I absolutely fell in love with him after the Dressrosa arc and novel and I could never read the fanfics again about him where he was a literal psychopath with no sympathy, nothing against them it's just I wasn't able to think of him in that way anymore ( I never really thought he would be that bad ) and if I should be honest after getting a deeper understanding of his personality it kinda made me sad reading how poorly others thought about him, being intentional or because they thought it fit him more or for whatever other reason I just couldn't read it anymore, it felt like it wasn't about him but another person with the same name.

So when I first came on this platform and found out about the Law fics here I decided to stay here and not change back to the other platform...it's definitely better here when it comes to understanding his personality and actions and most others got a better understanding of him and i was really happy because so many saw him in a better light and it was refreshing but there's still something that I think people may understand wrong...or I do and now I seem like an idiot....tbh wouldn't be the first time but no risk no fun.

Even to this date I read many fics where it's stated that Law won't be really affectionate in front of others or his crew and I slightly agree and disagree but hear me out please!

I think we all have the same opinion on Law being rather private and an introverted nerd and person over all , even more so when he's out of his comfort zone but sometimes I still read that he won't show any affection to his partner because he doesn't want to be seen as weak in front of others or because he is embarrassed and again I agree and disagree at the same time.

He is not one to show his affection openly in front of others but I don't think it's for the reason because he's ashamed or thinks it makes him look weak In front of his crew, they know perfectly well how strong and intimidating he can be and Shachi, Penguin and Bepo know him since he's 13 and I think they saw the worst of him already or part of it.

They knew about his past and his nightmares at times specifically after he heard about what happened to Dressrosa being overthrown and I don't think he was ashamed of being weak In front of them and him being 15 or older ( I'm not completely sure btw thanks for correcting me on that ) when he set sail and gathering a crew, makes me think that most of them also know him for over 10 years, give or take and I don't know if they knew as much as the other 3 but Im convinced that he still is very much comfortable with them.

Even if they would tease him sometimes, if he's alone with his crew he would rather take it lightly and would rather counter back in his own way or grumble instead of being overly ashamed or maybe a bit flustered but I believe he would be comfortable enough with them by now and i also don't think he would be so cold with them Overall all the time and only sitting in his room and reading, he will play with them and have some free nights and enjoy having them by his side after so much loss, even if it's only to listen or watching them play or have fun but I don't think he would always be in his room alone or miss the meal times.

Alright sorry back to the point I kinda drifted away a little...

Law may take some time getting comfy with the idea of a partner, being scared and all of losing them like Cora and his parents but once he's comfortable he will be affectionate and he will take time and cherish it even though it may be silent and subtle in his own way.

Be it some light brushing of hands or small acts of service, even when he's with the whole crew it may only be a small squeeze on your thigh, small smile, silent words of affirmation when no one pays attention for a second or giving you something to drink when he sees It's empty or whatever small acts there are but I can't believe he would be cold all the time and forget about it and if it's only you two I bet my ass he would love to cuddle and getting his hair stroked while reading in comfortable silence.

He may be bad at wording it or saying it out loud and so seeing the little signs and paying attention would be rather needed with him or else it would be kinda hard understanding what he wants and needs.

Anyway his submarine and his crew are his home and safe place, I really really think he would enjoy the time with them after all he went through, he knows how to cherish them all even though sometimes they all make him lose his mind and test his patience, he loves his idiots dearly.

Well if you went that far thanks for reading my bullshit and just to be safe, this is only my opinion on how I see things, feel free to rant about your own or give me contra but please in a respectful way.

Btw English isn't my first language and I have some Problems with grammar, so please don't be too hard on me and y'all a good night or day.

Fun Fact: Law was the first and only crush I've ever had on someone for so long, must be 8 years or more.

He still is the only character i would really die for......

#trafalgar law #law one piece #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar d water law #law x reader #heart pirates #i dont know what im doing #im bad at this #please have mercy #thats just my opinion so please dont kill me #did y'all drink today?

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zukkacore · 3 months

Note

🌤️ & ☔ !!

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

okkk so this is cheating b/c this is actually. From an old draft of If You Want Divinity that was way darker. But I might reconstitute it for a new thing b/c I do.... like it, it just didn't fit with the tone:

“Or is this all a… What do you call it? A leap of faith?” He grabs Porter by the hair, pulling his head back so that he’s forced to look him in the eye. “Was there ever a moment you doubted my devotion?” His other hand wraps nicely around Porter’s throat, resting pretty. “Or did you always know I would choose you?” A Message. I can feel everything. All your rage, your shame, your desire, your lovely desperation. Your envy… Does that frighten you? To know you can never hide from me again? It must be some sort of miracle for him to actually intimidate Porter, but rage emboldens him. He’s kept two people under his skin so long that the company is comforting. You don’t have the guts. “You sure?” says Jace. A beat. Do it. His grip slackens.

I am gonna count Message as dialogue :')

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

I have a couple that I'm not sure if I'm gonna finish or go for. A lot of these are kinda ambitious which i used to take on with gusto but i do have a problem with abandoning shit (and delayed gratification) so the idea of committing myself to a big piece is like. Maybe.... maybe.... At the same time, i am that kind of ambitious person, short things are not normally what i do. I have a few ideas that are not the most fleshed out:

I do genuinely really like the idea of doing a You've Got Mail rival academies AU but i also know that would probably take a tone of work and i'm like..... ughhhh. But i think they could do the hate to love thing. Its the Nora Ephron n Meg Ryan collab i think is the most fitting for the two of them (although if there was a when harry met sally (evil version) Take..... maybe)

Vaguely a timeloop au sounds fun. I LOOOOVE a timeloop. and have been wanting to write one for forever but i don't have a strong Vision on it right now. Don't know if its a timeloop to change what happened kind of timeloop or a timeloop to realize you can never go back kind of timeloop. There's also the Timeloop as Redemption angle that i think is fun, that's the groundhog day thing that's the happy death day thing and i think there's precedent of it being like. a Chronomancy thing. Aguefort subject these bitches to a timeloop so you can put them back on your payroll im begging you

Althought time loop purgatory also goes hand in hand with my joke that Porter and Jace should be subjected to a Bad Place Elmville as hell punishment. A vaguely inspired Good Place AU would be really funny i think. Again, it's too formless for me to know what to do with it. I don't actually think it should be that they think they're in The Good Place, i think the trick should be they're convinced ankarna gave them a second shot at life so now they life in elmville only everything is shifted slightly to the left bc its a pocket hell dimension meant to torture them. Like Chidi and Eleanor, oops they fell in love. Again. This is formless.

ALSO kinda goes hand in hand with my joke abt Ankarnatown i made a while back like Jace fetching Porter from hell??? no notes. But like. damn i gotta make it myself?? That sucks

I honestly sincerely might write some zara/clones or lucilla/clones stuff. That ones purely and indulgence. Purely just for me. I wanted to include a small zara/jace throughline or a lucilla/j2 implication in Almost but it just like. Did not have the air for that i just felt like it didn't fit for the tone it just kinda was detracting (as much as zarajace making porter jealouse wouldve been fun) and just in there for me b/c i like Persephades Orphydice

Again this is formless. All i'm gonna say is i drew a gamechanger au. and now i think the idea of Aguefort subjecting his staff to gameshows for personal enrichment is so funny. Aguefort heaven is porter hell its a very efficient system

#jan.ask

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mi-rae07 · 1 year

Text

Jung Wooyoung : The Reason

Pairing : Jung Wooyoung (Ateez) and named character (Shin Iseul)

_________________________

Miyeon : so you have a boyfriend.

Iseul nodded, taking a sip of the coffee she had bought at the hospital café as she said

Iseul : yes, I do.

Miyeon : except he…works as a sales boy.

Iseul : he works in a Gucci store-

Miyeon : yes, that's what I said.

Iseul : he gets paid enough-

Miyeon : except you're a resident. You're going to be a neurosurgeon someday, and he's going to remain a sales boy.

Iseul sighed, leaning back against the chair with a sigh. She was at it again, trying to convince her friends that her boyfriend did deserve her, and that his job didn't really matter when he was a good person.

Iseul : yeon-ah, please.

Miyeon : seul-ie, I love you, okay? And I want you to get someone you truly deserve, not some sales boy.

Iseul : I've been dating him for two years now.

Miyeon : and you never told me.

Iseul : because I expected you to do exactly this!

Miyeon : well what else would anyone expect! A neurosurgeon and a sales boy? Please, you gotta be kidding me.

Iseul : he is a good man.

Miyeon : but does he provide you with financial security?

Iseul : I can provide myself that, I'm going to be a neurosurgeon, yeon.

Miyeon : fine, is he hot?

Iseul : he…what? Yes, yeah I suppose.

Miyeon : you're with him because of his body then, aren't you.

Iseul : Jung miyeon!

Miyeon : what!

Iseul : god this is so stupid.

Iseul would rather leave than hear her bestfriend shitting on her boyfriend like this. She was about to get up when miyeon held her arm and asked

Miyeon : do you love him?

Iseul : of course I do!

Miyeon : and does he love you?

Iseul : yes, yes he does.

Miyeon : does he take care of you well, forgetting all the money, does he truly take care of you? And does he make you happy?

Iseul : he does, he's an amazing person to me, yeon-ah.

Miyeon sighed, nodding as she motioned towards iseul's coffee before saying

Miyeon : then that's all I need.

_________________________

Iseul opened the door to hers and wooyoung's apartment, immediately coughing at the smoke that suddenly surrounded her. She looked around with squinted eyes, her eyes landing on wooyoung who turned around and smiled before saying

Wooyoung : you're home.

Iseul : what…why is there so much smoke?

Wooyoung lifted his vape before keeping it away, making iseul sigh in annoyance. She hated this.

Iseul : wooy-

Wooyoung : I'm sorry, I know. I just got carried away.

Iseul sighed, keeping her bag away as she said

Iseul : I've told you not to vape at all, woo.

Wooyoung : I'll try. Now come here.

Wooyoung spread his arms for iseul as she smiled, walking towards him before crashing into his arms with a loud exhale. Wooyoung tangled his hand in her hair, inhaling deeply against her shoulder as he whispered

Wooyoung : my isi.

Iseul smiled at the use of her favorite nickname, nuzzling her head into wooyoung's chest while ignoring the smell of vape and smoke on him as she whispered

Iseul : yes, yours. All yours.

Wooyoung kissed the top of iseul's head as he asked

Wooyoung : how was work, love?

Iseul : it was…tiring but fulfilling. This is what I've always wanted to do and now that I'm actually doing it, I feel proud.

Wooyoung : I'm proud of you too.

Iseul : and you? How was work for you?

Wooyoung : mm, it was fine.

Iseul frowned at the bland answer as she asked

Iseul : that's it?

Wooyoung : what's going to be so special about working as a sales boy, seul-ah.

Iseul looked up as she said

Iseul : woo, come on.

Wooyoung : all I've ever wanted my entire life was to be a fashion designer, isi. A good one, a rich one that could make revolutionary work. And I studied hard for it, graduated with top scores. But even after all that, people just don't seem to care. My works are just…bland to them.

Iseul : your works are not bland.

Wooyoung : well my works don't sell either.

Iseul : give it time, young-ah.

Wooyoung : I gave it 4 years, but now I'm done.

Iseul pulled back at that, her eyes widening in shock

Iseul : you're stopping your works? You're not going to design anymore?

Wooyoung nodded with a sad smile, making Iseul step back with a shaky breath. Wooyoung had dedicated his entire life to designing and now if he dropped it, that would mean his dreams to be shattered and ruined, never to be brought back again. And iseul wanted wooyoung to be happy.

Iseul : so you're going to be a sales boy forever.

Iseul saw wooyoung recoil at that, his eyes hurt. And only then did she realize how those words might sound like to him.

Iseul : oh no, no I didn't mean it that way, young-ah.

Wooyoung let out a scoff, shaking his head as he whispered

Wooyoung : so you're tired too.

Iseul : no, woo-

Wooyoung : I expected this to happen someday. Just not…now.

Iseul stepped closer to wooyoung, trying to hold him as she said

Iseul : no no, wooyoung-ah, please I'm not tired of you.

Wooyoung : l-let go of me.

Iseul shook her head, holding onto wooyoung's arm as she said

Iseul : no, wooyoung. I'm sorry, hmm? I didn't mean to say it that way, I meant that I didn't understand why you were throwing your dreams away like that-

Wooyoung : you meant you were disappointed you'd have to be with someone poor like me whose job pays so low, I can't even afford shit.

Iseul : what?

Wooyoung : if you're tired of me then just FUCKING LEAVE SHIN ISEUL!

Iseul : wooyoung, stop.

Wooyoung kept trying to push himself away from iseul's hold, his nails digging into her wrist.

Iseul : wooyoung you're hurting me, please.

Wooyoung : then let go!

Iseul finally banged wooyoung against a wall, holding him against it tightly. Wooyoung stared at iseul with teary eyes as she said

Iseul : why do you keep thinking I'll leave, wooyoung? Is that how shallow I seem to you, to leave you just because of something as trivial as this?

Wooyoung : it's how everyone is. It-

Iseul : not everyone, me! I'm talking about me, wooyoung!

Wooyoung looked away from iseul, making her sigh as she felt her heart drop

Iseul : you keep doubting me.

Wooyoung : I'm not doubting you.

Iseul : then what the fuck are you doing, woo!

Wooyoung : I…

Wooyoung cut himself off as his lips trembled, making iseul's eyes soften at the sight. She leaned forward and held his cheek, whispering

Iseul : young-ah?

Wooyoung : I just…I feel like a failure, seul-ah. I feel useless and…I can't even provide for you anymore.

Iseul : you don't have to, I can provide for us woo.

Wooyoung : but I don't wanna sit at home doing nothing while you're working hard out there, I wanna help too.

Iseul : wooyoung-ah, I love you. I love you and I'm not going to leave, or let anyone tell you that you don't deserve me, okay? I could do anything for you.

Wooyoung sniffled, looking away as tears streamed down his cheeks. Iseul wiped it away, kissing his cheek afterward.

Iseul : don't cry, you can't.

Wooyoung : I'm sorry.

Iseul : why must you be sorry, lovie.

Wooyoung : for being like this to you, you don't deserve to get hurt because of me.

Iseul : then shut up and kiss me.

Wooyoung let out a small smile, whispering under his breath

Wooyoung : aish, won't even let me apologize.

Iseul wrapped her arms around his neck and said

Iseul : because you have nothing to be sorry for. You can never do anything wrong in my eyes.

Wooyoung smiled and leaned forward, kissing iseul.

______________________________

Iseul : do we seriously have to go to the store he's working in?

Yumi : yes we do? I wanna meet him.

Iseul : you can meet him sometime else-

Miyeon : seul-ah, please. We talked about this before.

Iseul sighed as her two friends indirectly dragged her towards the Gucci store, not being able to stop them. Yumi opened the door to the Gucci store, iseul's eyes landing on wooyoung who was explaining an item to a customer, the customer clearly awestruck by his handsome face. Iseul smiled at that, feeling suddenly proud. She was never the jealous type anyway.

Wooyoung : isi?

Yumi : aww! He's given you a cute nickna-

Iseul : shush.

Iseul smiled as wooyoung walked towards them, bowing at both yumi and miyeon before saying

Wooyoung : hello, I'm jung wooyoung. Iseul's boyfriend.

Yumi : I'm kim yumi, and this is jung miyeon. We're both seul-ie's bestfriends.

Iseul chuckled and nodded, gesturing towards the customer behind them as she asked

Iseul : aren't you going to assist them, woo?

Wooyoung : oh, her? No, joon'll take care of her. You didn't have work today, guys? It's only 11am.

Miyeon : we finally got a day off today, it’s been forever since we've received a break so we decided to shop.

Wooyoung : ah, okay! Then go ahead, check through whatever you want.

Miyeon nodded, walking towards a nearby shelf. Yumi pulled out a credit card from her purse, smiling as she said

Yumi : guess what, my boyfriend gave me his card to buy whatever I want for myself, so I won't have to worry spending much this time!

Miyeon : lucky bitch, I spent all of mine a week ago.

Iseul looked up at wooyoung at their words, knowing how he would feel hearing the fact that other boyfriends sent their girlfriends an entire card to buy clothes with while he couldn't do any of that at this moment. Which, she didn't mind but she was sure he would.

And she was right, wooyoung's eyes were now lowered to the floor, his earlier smile disappearing.

Iseul : woo-

Wooyoung : mm no, it's okay.

Iseul : but-

Wooyoung : I'm fine, isi. You go with your friends, hmm?

Iseul could only stare at wooyoung as he gave her a small kiss before leaving to tend to the other customers. Iseul was still not satisfied, but she had no choice but to go back to her friends.

_________________________________

Iseul picked up the phone call she had just received, frowning at the contact being wooyoung's bestfriend, not wooyoung who hadn't come home despite it being 2am already.

Iseul : joon? What's wrong?

Joon : yeah, your boyfriend is hell drunk, seul. What do you want me to do with him, I know you hate it when people are drunk.

Iseul sighed, getting up as she kept her medical book and highlighter away before walking to her coat stand.

Iseul : send me your location.

Joon : you're going to come to this club?

Iseul : he doesn't leave me much of a choice now, does he?

Iseul opened the door to the club, trying to breathe through her mouth in order to avoid the smell from hitting her. She soon found wooyoung resting his head against a table, mumbling some gibberish.

Iseul : jung wooyoung.

Joon : oh? You're here.

Wooyoung lifted his head grumpily, smiling at the sight of iseul

Wooyoung : isi! I missed you!

Iseul : thank you for suffering with him, joon. I'll take him from here now.

Joon chuckled and nodded, making iseul sigh as she held wooyoung's arms and lifted him up from the chair. Wooyoung fell on her with a small breath, nuzzling his head against her neck as he whispered

Wooyoung : you smell so nice.

Iseul : wish I could say the same about you.

Wooyoung : seul-ie! Mean!

Iseul : shut up and come with me like a good boy.

Wooyoung chuckled against her neck, saying sheepishly

Wooyoung : I'm a good boy.

Iseul : no you're not, you're terrible these days.

Iseul dragged wooyoung along with her outside the club, squinting her eyes at the loud noise around her. Wooyoung placed his palm against iseul's ears, blocking the loud music from entering as she looked up at him.

Wooyoung : you don't like loud sounds, no?

He still remembered it. Iseul sighed, nodding as she guided wooyoung to her car that was parked a few meters away from them.

Wooyoung : i-isi?

Iseul : mm.

Wooyoung : am I…am I really terrible?

Iseul : what?

Wooyoung : am I really a terrible person.

Iseul laid wooyoung down on the seat, him looking up at her with wide hazy eyes. Iseul smiled and kissed wooyoung's flushed cheeks as she whispered against it

Iseul : you are, but I still love you.

__________________________________

Iseul : why did you drink last night?

Wooyoung looked up from his breakfast, staring at iseul who was still eating her pancakes.

Wooyoung : why would you think I had a reason?

Iseul : you don't drink unless something bothers you enough to do so. So tell me, what was that reason last night?

Wooyoung shook his head, going back to his breakfast as he said

Wooyoung : it's nothing.

Iseul : it's nothing or you just don't wanna tell me?

Wooyoung : I just…don't wanna tell you.

Iseul nodded, taking a bite of her pancake. She understood wooyoung had a life apart from her, as she had a life apart from him back at the hospital. And when wooyoung wanted to share his problems, he would. Until then she could wait.

Iseul : woo.

Wooyoung : yeah?

Iseul : how about we buy a new refrigerator?

Wooyoung looked up, frowning in confusion at the sudden request as he asked

Wooyoung : what's wrong with the one we have right now?

Iseul : well, it's old. And it doesn't function as well as the newly made ones do, I noticed while cooking breakfast today.

Wooyoung : isi-

Iseul : we can split the bill, no?

Wooyoung pressed his lips together as his hands clenched around the fork. He wished he was different than what he was right now. And saying he felt embarassed would be an understatement.

Wooyoung : iseul, I don't really think I have…the money for any of that right now.

Iseul froze, not having thought of that possibility.

Iseul : oh no, that…that's okay. Uh, I can just pay for it wholly then. Do you wanna come along with me to choose it, woo?

Wooyoung hated the way iseul's shiny eyes dimmed from his answer, and the way she had to adjust so much of her things in life because of his failures.

Wooyoung : and then watch you pay for it entirely while I just stand there empty handed?

Iseul : woo.

Wooyoung : I'll find the money and come with you. Just give me some time.

Iseul : no don't do that, it's not really that required-

Wooyoung : stop pushing away your desires for me, iseul. You don't deserve that.

Iseul : it's called adjustment, woo. And I told you, I could do anything for you. If you don't have the budget for a refrigerator right now, then we wait until you do. That's all.

Wooyoung : seul-

Iseul : nope, that's final. Forget I asked and have your breakfast.

Wooyoung sighed, eating his food with a disturbed mind. God, he wished he'd just studied to become a lawyer or an engineer like his parents had wanted him to instead of going after this cursed job.

______________________________

Joon : young, boss's calling you.

Wooyoung looked up from the boxes of clothes that he had been assigned to hang up, frowning.

Wooyoung : right now?

Joon : yeah.

Wooyoung : joon. Is something wrong?

Joon shook his head with a sigh, stepping aside for wooyoung to go through. Something was wrong. Wooyoung kept the box aside and stepped inside the manager's room, his eyes landing on the clock that struck 10pm. God, he had to go home now.

Wooyoung : you called for me, sir?

Boss : close the door behind you.

Wooyoung closed the door behind him, his heart beating hard against his chest knowing something was terribly wrong at the tone of his voice.

Wooyoung : yes?

Boss : you submitted your works to a fellow company?

Wooyoung looked up with surprised eyes, his heart dropping. That was a week ago, and they had already rejected him as well a few days ago. But for the manager to have known, that could only mean trouble.

Wooyoung : sir, I'm sorry.

Boss : you're SORRY? SERIOUSLY JUNG WOOYOUNG?

Wooyoung bit his lips, looking away as his boss stood up and walked towards him angrily

Boss : I took you in when NO ONE ELSE DID, do you understand that?

Wooyoung : yes sir-

Boss : you're charity work, wooyoung, I took you in out of pure pity. Your stupid designs had nothing to do with it.

Wooyoung felt tears threaten to fill his eyes at the harsh words, his hands clenching behind him.

Boss : and now you cheat me behind my back, sending your works to other people as if anyone in their right mind would take you in as a designer.

The manager scoffed, stepping back as he said

Boss : you're stupid to think you could ever be successful with what you have, wooyoung. Your entire life was destined to be a failure.

Wooyoung : sir-

Boss : that's probably why you're with that neurosurgeon lady, aren't you?

Wooyoung looked up at that, his eyes darkening.

Wooyoung : what?

Boss : so that you could suck up her money while pretending to love her since you have nothing of that sort?

Wooyoung : watch your words, sir. You may be my manager but you are no more than a mere human to everyone else. So do not step over your boundaries.

The manager held wooyoung by the collar, his eyes furious at his words.

Boss : what did you just say, you imbecile?

Wooyoung : you can call me a failure, you can say my works are all stupid and will never sell, you can say whatever you want about me, sir, but do not question my dignity or hers. I do not need to explain myself and my love for her to you, as you are not entitled to be hearing any of that.

Boss : you-

Wooyoung : yes, yes I'm an utter failure, I agree to that. I can't do better than others and I…I can't make enough money to live by. But I will never, ever use any one else to satisfy my own needs by pretending my feelings. Never.

The manager let go of wooyoung with a scoff as wooyoung took his tag off with trembling hands

Wooyoung : but I understand what you mean, I did cheat you and stab you behind the back by trying to sell my designs. But I needed money, I needed something, sir. And that was the only thing I could do.

Wooyoung placed his name tag on the desk as he bowed at his manager for one last time

Wooyoung : I resign, sir. From this day forth I will no longer be your employee, as you desire. You can get another charity case off your shoulders.

The manager could only stare as wooyoung turned around and left the cabin with tears in his eyes, his hopes and dreams completely shattered now.

__________________________

Iseul : woo? Is that you?

Wooyoung took his shoes off as he said lowly

Wooyoung : yeah, I'm home. Why are you still awake?

Wooyoung looked up as iseul walked towards him, her glasses resting against the bridge of her nose while small strands of hair slipped through her high bun.

Iseul : I had some work to do.

Wooyoung sighed, walking past iseul as he said

Wooyoung : I'm going to go sleep.

Iseul : no hugs or kisses, then?

Wooyoung : not right now.

Iseul : why?

Wooyoung : just let me be for now, please.

Iseul closed her book before following wooyoung up the stairs, still being persistent

Iseul : is this because of breakfast?

Wooyoung : what breakfast?

Iseul : the refrigerator?

Wooyoung let out a noise of annoyance, opening the door to their bedroom as he said

Wooyoung : please, stop bringing that up.

Iseul : because you said you couldn't afford it right n-

Wooyoung : shin iseul!

Iseul paused, looking up at wooyoung as he huffed, throwing a pillow away.

Wooyoung : please, give me a break for once!

Iseul : wooyoung, I'm just asking. I don't wanna fight.

Wooyoung : well you're causing it, iseul! I told you to leave me alone and you're still here following me like some lost puppy.

Iseul : so I'm the problem here? You're the one who's lacking communication skills, wooyoung.

Wooyoung : that is the last problem about me that I care about.

Iseul : then what do you care about? Huh?

Wooyoung : iseul please! I can’t do this today.

Iseul : I do not fucking care anymore, wooyoung. I need an answer. What, is, your, problem?

Wooyoung : I want you to leave.

Iseul flinched at his answer, her eyes widening

Iseul : w-what?

Wooyoung : I want you to leave, iseul, break up with me before I do it. Go, leave me alone.

Iseul : wooyoung, what are you saying.

Wooyoung : or do you want me to leave, since this is your house that you bought from your money?

Iseul : no, what! That's not what I'm-

Wooyoung : I'm going back to my old apartment, then. Let me go.

Iseul : seriously? That's what you want? After everything I did for you, that's what you want?

Wooyoung looked up at iseul with blank eyes, his eyes not having an ounce of emotion. Iseul scoffed, looking away as she said

Iseul : I never should have spent any of my energy on you, ever. I should have known you'd be like everyone else, abandoning me.

Wooyoung : yes, maybe I'm not so different after all.

Iseul pressed her lips together, rage and hurt filling her.

Iseul : I hate you, wooyoung. I hate you for doing this to us, to me. You're a coward, you can't fight for anything in life and just give up as soon as you sense the first sight of trouble. While I fought every single day for 4 years to be with you.

Wooyoung nodded, trying not to let out an ounce of emotion. He couldn't, not now. Iseul took wooyoung's bag from the shelf and threw it at him, making him step back from the force of it

Iseul : leave, get out. When I come back in the morning, I don't want any of your things to be seen in my apartment. Get yourself out of here and go wherever the fuck you want. Because what you do from now, is on you. I'm not going to do anything for you or for us anymore.

Wooyoung stared as iseul stepped away from him, whispering

Iseul : I don't ever want to see you again, so go and do the only one thing you're capable of doing, messing everything up.

Iseul walked out of that room, not knowing wooyoung was breaking down on the other end of the wall, crying his heart out.

____________________________

Joon : you…you asked her to leave?

Wooyoung nodded, inhaling the smoke once again before exhaling it as he rested his head against the back of his old dusty couch.

Joon : wooyoung, what the hell? You love her!

Wooyoung : but I can't do anything for her, especially now that I lost my other job too.

Joon : you can just look for another one.

Wooyoung : and get paid even lower? I can't afford her anymore, joon-ah. And I'd hate to watch her spend her entire life looking after a failure like me when she's so successful and smart. She deserves someone as rich and successful as her.

Joon : she loves you, wooyoung. I don't really think she cares about any of the finance.

Wooyoung : that's the point, she should start caring more about her finance and herself. Hence why I asked her to leave.

Wooyoung took another inhale of his vape, closing his eyes as he felt the smoke fill his lungs.

Joon : you're so stupid.

Wooyoung : I know.

Joon : you're making yourself go through pure torture in order to try and make her life better.

Wooyoung : I told you I loved her.

Joon : if you love her then fucking fight for her, wooyoung. Don't just run away like this, that's stupid and-

Wooyoung : cowardly, right?

Joon : yes!

Wooyoung sighed, standing up as he said

Wooyoung : maybe I am a coward then.

___________________________

2 weeks later :

Miyeon : seul-ah.

Iseul looked up from her patient, looking at miyeon who had just ran up to her in a hurry

Iseul : yes?

Miyeon : a new patient's been brought in right now.

Iseul : aren't there other doctors-

Miyeon : no you're…gonna wanna see to him instead.

Him, him. Iseul's eyes widened as she ran towards the room miyeon had told her about, opening the door harshly as her eyes landed on wooyoung who was lying on the hospital bed.

Iseul : wooyoung!

Wooyoung looked up at her with shocked eyes, iseul coming closer to him as she asked

Iseul : what's happened to you?

Wooyoung : I…I just fell while I was walking through the road and someone brought me here.

Iseul : did someone run your tests?

Wooyoung : I su-suppose?

Iseul rushed out of the room, wanting to find the results. Wooyoung leaned back against the bed, sighing. He knew he hadn't just fallen, he knew he had fainted from eating too less. He had just wanted to save enough in order to pay the rent and bills, but apparently he had overestimated his body.

Wooyoung stared as iseul entered the room, her eyes grave as she said

Iseul : have you been starving yourself, wooyoung?

Wooyoung looked away, his hands clenching around the bedsheet. Of course she found out.

Iseul : do you need food?

Wooyoung : I left you, you're not supposed to be doing anything for me.

Iseul : fine, then I'm saying this as your doctor. You need to eat your meals on time, jung wooyoung. And if you won't do that, I'm going to force-feed you.

Wooyoung stared at iseul as she took the IV trip off him and said

Iseul : get up I'm buying you food, just this fluid won't do. Because I won't see you like this another time.

__________________________

A month later :

Iseul hadn't seen wooyoung another time after that lunch she had had with him. And that lunch had been awkward enough, with wooyoung not uttering a word and iseul not saying much either. And since then, although iseul had tried contacting wooyoung, he hadn't picked up. She even tried sending mean texts to wooyoung and he still hadn't responded.

And now she was sitting in a café, waiting for joon who had called her up to talk about important matters. Iseul had abandoned her works as soon as she had heard that, knowing it was about wooyoung.

And for him she could drop anything.

Iseul looked up as she heard the door open, her eyes landing on joon who sighed and sat next to her quickly.

Iseul : joon-

Joon : yes it's about wooyoung.

Iseul : I know, but do you need something to drink?

Joon : not really, I'm fine.

Iseul nodded, motioning joon to talk.

Joon : wooyoung lost his job.

Iseul : w-what? When?

Joon : the day he broke up with you.

Iseul's eyes widened, her hands on the coffee cup loosening. Shit.

Iseul : then…that's why he-

Joon : yeah, that's why he left. Because he didn't wanna burden you. And ever since then he's been suffering.

Iseul sat back against her chair with a shaky breath, closing her eyes. Of course wooyoung had done that.

Iseul : after all that I had said to him about this.

Joon : he still believes you deserve better, seul. I don't know when he would understand that your love for him is much greater but I can't wait for that anymore. I can't see wooyoung being in pain like this. So I need you to try and talk to him, please.

Iseul : does he still live in his old apartment?

Joon : yeah, for which he's been struggling to pay rent for.

Iseul nodded as she said

Iseul : thank you, joon, for telling me all this.

Joon : it's nothing, I just want you both to be happy. And if your happiness is him and his happiness you, then I'm more than happy to put you back together.

Iseul smiled, nodding her head. She was going to bring wooyoung back, she had to.

Joon : however uh…you won't really mind giving me jung miyeon's phone number now, will you seul-ah?

________________________

Wooyoung walked back to his apartment while taking a puff of his vape, his eyes closing at the feeling of it surrounding his lungs. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but hell to all that. What really was the point in living now.

Wooyoung typed in the passcode as the door to his apartment opened, frowning as he realised that the lights were on. As soon as he realised the reason, wooyoung stepped back in shock, his eyes widening as he asked

Wooyoung : what? How are you-

Iseul : do you enjoy destroying your lungs like this?

Wooyoung clutched the vape tighter in his hands, looking away

Wooyoung : why would you care. We're not together anymore.

Iseul : because you decided that I should leave you just because you lost your job at the store?

Wooyoung paused, his eyes widening. No, she couldn't know.

Wooyoung : you're not supposed to know.

Iseul : except I do now.

Wooyoung was about to say something when his vape beeped suddenly, indicating that someone had to turn it off if it wasn't in use. Iseul signed in annoyance, walking up to wooyoung before taking the vape and throwing it away harshly.

Wooyoung : Iseul!

Iseul : what! Does that stick matter more to you than me? Than us?

Wooyoung : stop, stop and let me be, iseul. We can't be together.

Iseul : WHY? Why, because you can't make enough money? I told you I would fucking take care of that, wooyoung!

Wooyoung : BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO! I...I want to be able to provide too, so just...please, give me time.

Iseul : and then come back to you when you have the money? Do I look like a gold digger to you, wooyoung?

Wooyoung let out a breath, stepping away from her. But Iseul only stepped closer, shaking her head.

Iseul : wooyoung, I love you.

Wooyoung : you cannot love someone like me. You need to leave.

Iseul : and then what? You're going to smoke your life away?

Wooyoung : if I am? Then what?

Iseul glared at wooyoung and walked towards the vape she had thrown away, bending down and picking it up as she turned it on. Wooyoung's eyes widened as Iseul inhaled it, coughing as soon as the vape entered her body.

Wooyoung : no! No, no no Iseul, stop!

But she didn't, not even when wooyoung ran towards her and tried to take the vape away from her. Iseul continued inhaling it, coughing continuously.

Wooyoung shook his head, tears in his eyes.

Wooyoung : I'll stop, I swear I'll stop.

That still didn't seem to stop iseul. And so wooyoung finally snatched the vape away from her harshly, breaking it into half as a sharp piece of the plastic cut through his cheek, drawing blood. Iseul coughed hoarsely, making wooyoung hold onto her as he leaned closer to her and asked

Wooyoung : are you alright? Seul-ah, can you breathe?

Iseul shook her head, lifting her hand as she wiped the blood off Wooyoung's cheek and whispered

Iseul : you're bleeding.

Wooyoung : it doesn't matter! Iseul, are you okay.

Iseul : woo, I need you.

Wooyoung stared at Iseul as she sniffed and said

Iseul : I need you home, woo. I love you, and I don't care if you don't have a job or whatever, I still want you.

Wooyoung : iseul-

Iseul sobbed, placing the back of her hand against her eyes as she said

Iseul : please, please don't leave me. Please don't let go-

Wooyoung cut Iseul off as he hugged her, resting her head against his chest as she cried.

Wooyoung : I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Iseul : you're so...so cruel.

Wooyoung ran his hand along her hair, tears falling down his cheeks as he whispered

Wooyoung : I know, I won't ever do it again.

Iseul : you...promise?

Wooyoung would rather die than see Iseul cry and beg him like this. He'd rather just stay and fight for them as he was always supposed to. He didn't wanna be a coward any longer.

Wooyoung : I promise.

___________________________

6 years later :

Iseul : you know, you didn't have to rent an entire amusement park like this.

Wooyoung : you said you wanted us to go to a park?

Iseul : yes, not spend millions of dollars on renting it just for us?

Wooyoung smiled, resting his head on his wife's shoulder as he said

Wooyoung : all that I make is for you, isi. So you ask me for something, I give more than just that.

Iseul giggled, ruffling wooyoung's hair as they walked out of the amusement park

Iseul : I'm flattered, husband.

??? : Oh my god, aren't you the designer jung wooyoung?

Wooyoung looked up as he noticed two girls in front of him, an excited smile on both their faces.

Wooyoung : why yes I am.

??? : oh my, we're big fans of you! And we love your designs and have been dying to get our hands on them, but they always get sold out real quick.

Wooyoung smiled as he said

Wooyoung : I'll try to rectify that next time, surely.

??? : Thank you! Do you uh, mind if we get your autograph?

Wooyoung chuckled and shook his head as he took the pen from their hands, signing. Iseul looked at him with a proud smile, feeling her heart swell up with pride for her partner. He had worked his way up to the top, and he deserved all the recognition and money he recieved for his hard work. Plus he was doing the one thing he loved the most, with her by his side.

??? : Thank you, sir. It was an honor to meet you. And you too, doctor. You're really pretty, both of you are, of course.

Iseul smiled and said a thank you as the girls said their bye's and left, giggling to each other.

Iseul : fans everywhere, I'm getting real tired, young-ah.

Wooyoung smiled at her sarcasm, wrapping his arms around her waist as he said

Wooyoung : really.

Iseul wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned closer before whispering

Iseul : mhmm. But if you give me a kiss, I might just forget all about it.

Wooyoung chuckled at her and said

Wooyoung : always the same.

Wooyoung leaned forward and took Iseul's lips in his, giving her all that she had wanted and more.

After all, she was the reason for his success, just as he was the reason for her happiness.

__________________________

#ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez ff #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop ff #angst #ateez #fluff #ff #jung wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #wooyoung au #wooyoung angst #wooyoung ateez #wooyoung fluff #wooyoung ff

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disgracefulthings · 7 months

Text

I gotta rant a bit about Loki

I have not seen season 2 of his show, but season one killed my love for MCU Loki

Let's start with the movies. The first two Thor movies are usually regarded as some of the worst MCU films (especially the second), but what I like about them is at least Loki has a consistent character arc throughout them (along with the first Avengers film). Loki learns that he's a part of a race that is treated like monsters on Asgard, and this destroys him. He tries to off himself at the end of the first Thor movie, only to end in the hands of Thanos. He went through so much shit throughout all three of these movies, and Thor 2 ends with him on Asgard's throne, leaving the audience wondering what he will do now he got what he thought he wanted.

Then Thor 3 happened. Look, I like Taika Waititi, and Thor 3 is an enjoyable film, but it destroyed Loki's character arc. He's just a silly guy now. Why does he try to backstab Thor? Because he's silly, no other reason. Plus, after Odin has lied to Loki for his entire life, he tells him that he loves him and magically all that trauma about him being a frost giant is gone! In fact, I think the MCU has forgotten that Loki is a frost giant at all! (Shut up, I know about What If). Ok, but what about the next movie. Thanos has finally come and now Loki can confront the person that gave him the mind stone to take over Earth- and Loki's dead.

I really don't like how they killed Loki. Loki is not a character you kill off to show how dangerous this villain will be. Mostly because the movies had forgotten to finish his character arc, but I guess everyone had forgotten he had one at this point.

Did anyone cry when he died? I sure as hell didn't, and I'm a crybaby when it comes to my faves dying. I was more shocked, and I convinced myself that this was another fake out. Honestly it may seem like cope with all these fans believing that he is still alive, but he has faked his death before, and nobody wanted to believe that his story will end in a dumb way that felt like the writers not believing that he mattered as a character.

But he did, and now we have season 1 of Loki. I honestly thought the writers realized how loved Loki is and they would finally finish his character arc. I mean, the show takes place after Avengers 1, and that's when Loki still hated himself for being a frost giant.

But no, Loki is silly again. Thor 3 has really ruined Loki. I understand that the first 2 Thor movies weren't as beloved, but I loved all the Loki scenes. There's a reason why his character became so popular despite the movies not.

Anyway, the first season of Loki isn't all bad. I love that it gave Loki a friend, and Mobius plays off him really well. And... yeah, I think that's all I like about it.

Now on to everything else. To start off, I really don't like Sylvie x Loki. Not only does it give me incestuous vibes, I really don't think Loki should have a love interest at this point (I don't ship Mobius x Loki too because of this point, but I will admit they have way more chemistry than Sylvie x Loki). But as I said, the writers didn't care about his character arc and so they forced a romance they had no time to build up, leaving me confused on why they had them fall in love in one episode, and ohh boy, the episode is super fucking dumb.

They established that you can do anything in an apocalypse situation and there would be no anomalies detected, SO WHY DOES LOKI AND SYLVIE FALLING IN LOVE CAUSE AN ANOMALY??? Because the plot said so, I love lazy writing in the show with my favorite character!!

God, and there's the queer baiting. Now, I can excuse the train scene because daddy Disney can't have shows say the word bi, but the scene where Loki asks the other Lokis if they ever seen another female Loki, and they say no???? WTF!?!? Is Loki gender fluid or not! Also, this is a stupid ass line that didn't need to be in the show? There are an infinite amount of universes, but only 1 female Loki who got caught by the TVA?? That doesn't make sense!

I'm done with Loki and I'm done with the MCU. The only good MCU show I've seen was WandaVision, and they still botched the ending and had a horrible follow up movie.

I heard Loki season 2 was better, but I still don't know why I should even bother

#loki deserves better #than this shit #the mobius not recognizing loki scene had more impact than the sylvie kissing loki scene #oh and i also fucking hate time travel plotslines!!!#loki laufeyson #loki #thor movies #loki season 1 #marvel mcu #mcu

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edge-oftheworld · 3 months

Text

thinking about i'm still your boy and how from the very start i thought this will be one that grows on me, even if i didn't fall in love with it on the first listen

thinking about how every line adds insecurities to the emotional soundscape of the song, reminding me of chords where you add one note and then the next but they're sustained so each one just keeps playing while the next one joins its sound

sat in the driveway (tired from a drive i'm not sure i should've done) but i can't go in (worrying about seeing someone inside the house) the green fence is fading (it's been so long since i was last/first here) it's sinking in (yeah all of this now i'm questioning what am i doing) wish i was younger (regret, fear of getting older) so i knew the end (fear of uncertainty and bad endings, actually, a terror something i need so badly could go wrong) i'd move to orlando and i'd be your friend (daydreaming about a past that never existed but it suits my fantasy even though there never was a possibility) tore you apart to put me back again (regret, why can't i just exist without hurting people) time's such a bastard and I'm wearing thin (frustration) still in chicago with things that i miss (fragments of me i've left everywhere and i'm spiralling thinking of the good and bad of each place) you can't have tequila without half a gram (remembering my own addictive tendencies and how when i see it in my loved ones i get worried, when i see it in myself i feel ashamed)

it was alright til i got angry. made a fist hole shape in the wall. regret. shame on myself for feeling like that. ruining it. self blame

but with everything that's built up til this point it's no wonder really, no wonder the noise became so loud and so layered in my head that i had to go and punch a wall? i can feel it, my nervous system slowly activating, everything stacking up, i can feel it, not knowing, not understanding what was coming thinking if i could push it down i could maybe overpower it but instead i escape through substances or i go and punch a wall hard enough to break it. you've seen me do both.

i'm still your boy. it's all i can say in the haze while i'm losing my mind. it doesn't fix it.

take it all apart. i want it, miss it, need it, so bad. processing it all, processing me and oh god why am i like this why do i have to ruin everything the minute i think i'm doing alright, doing well. the aftermath of it is now. don't know what's worse, i can't go back. but my nervous system won't relax and i don't understand that yet. don't understand it. don't understand why. all i know is i can't be without you i'd fall in the void. i can't dance around it i've gotta be yours. it's all focused in on that one person. the one lifeline i have so i can breathe through all this self blame and shame and regret that's adding to the pile of everything in my head.

more notes. it's getting ugly, we've used up just about every element of the scale and some notes that aren't even notes but actually out of tune sounds in between the twelve notes on the chromatic scale. (luckily isyb sounds don't actually do this, or we'd hate it). it's torture. of course i'm going to latch onto whatever relief i can find in it. and of course i'm not gonna have the capacity to look very far.

i'm still in orlando or chicago or sydney or wherever really, spread thin and dissociated between memories of places where i've been or my loved one has been, we're blurring together in my brain, spread thin. time is all at once and not at all. can't have tequila without half a gram.

it was alright before i got empty, made a mess of the room in your heart. at least that's what i convince myself. in reality it was messy a lot earlier but i don't realise that i don't go from 0-100 in a moment. i'd been at 99 for so long i just got used to it. but if i wasn't unable to think i'd know. i'd know what i see in the aftermath heavy with guilt. this has happened a thousand times.

i'm still your boy. i remember the good and i want to live in it. do you feel the same way too? don't answer that.

i want it so bad i want it so bad i want it so bad

that's all i know. whether it's addiction to substances or people, a specific person, or maybe it's a good thing, some relief from the noises in my head, this stack of notes or insecurities that never stopped, all i know is it feels right, feels cathartic, the idea of it really, as if this is how it was always meant to be when in fact all i'm asking is for something to bring me back from the very edge of my tolerance down to something that's still very painful but so, so much better because it feels lighter and feels like i can just maybe sustain it. a 95 maybe instead of 99 or 100. a few less sounds, an actual chord with harmonies that aren't fully drowned out. luckily we've got the rest of the album to do this.

#i don't know what this is? song inspired monologue?#isyb #i'm still your boy #luke hemmings #boy ep #inspired by sally cat's description of internalised pda profile #musician thoughts #i dedicate this song to you #cw addiction #cw angst

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charminggirl512 · 2 years

Text

hometown story // jax teller x oc

Jax Teller x F!OC (Dolly Dawson)

Warnings: 18+, language, violence, mentions of sexual assault, slight mentions of stalking, mentions of pregnancy/children

Word Count: 3,860

A/N: Long time, no see. Haven't really had the time or motivation to write, but I've been working on this one for some time. Enjoy!!!

"Just one more," He mumbles against my lips, his hands tangled in my hair that I spent an hour doing.

"Jax, I've gotta get to court," I tell him as I press my lips against his once again.

"I hate that we can't just do this all day. That we've got other responsibilities," He replies. I finally pull away from him and hand him my helmet. I peck his lips one last time and he groans when I take a step back from him so that he can't pull me back in.

"One day, when we're old and gray, we can spend all day kissing. But, right now, I've gotta go convince a very mean judge that this mom should have full custody of her kids." He smirks when I say old and gray, knowing that despite us only having been together for around five months, we were gonna grow old together. "I'll swing by my office once I finish up, run by your house to pick up that outfit I got for Abel, and meet you at the hospital."

"I'll see you then, darlin'," He murmurs before using my jacket to pull me back against him for one last kiss.

"Bye, baby."

I successfully convince the judge that the father shouldn't be able to have any type of custody over his three children after he left them alone for three days to go on a drinking binge while the mom was away for work. I was given this case on my first day at the firm I work at and it had been my most challenging one since moving to Charming. I was grateful to be done with it and go see my boys.

Abel was born a couple of weeks ago and I've been wrapped around his little finger ever since. I was with Gemma when she discovered Wendy passed out with a needle sticking out of her arm on the kitchen floor of the house that she and Jax used to share. I had spent the first couple of days alone with Gemma and Abel while Jax worked out his anger and decided that he was ready to meet Abel. Even though he wasn't technically mine, I loved Abel like my own and I was excited to raise him with Jax, even if Abel may only ever call me Dolly and not Mommy.

Since Jax picked me up from the courthouse yesterday, my car was still in the parking lot so I was able to drive myself to my office to drop off some files. I chat with the receptionist for a minute before opening the door to my beautifully decorated office completely destroyed. The cushions of my couch are sliced open, the pictures of Jax and I smashed on the carpet, and all of my desk drawers are open.

My heart instantly drops into my stomach. He found me. I don't know how but he found me and he wanted me to know that. I take a second to let my mind spin out of control before I simply just turn around and walk out. I don't think I can handle cleaning that up right now, so the best thing for me to do was avoid doing so. I force myself to make it to my car before I start crying, warm tears sliding down my face as I pound my hands on the steering wheel.

I had been able to escape all of the drama and the fear for the past couple of months lost in my whirlwind relationship with Jax. I hadn't thought about why I truly left Georgia because no one had asked me for more information; they all just accepted that I wanted to get out from underneath my parents' thumbs. Nobody wants to think that there's some darker past, they just want to accept what's easy to understand.

Once my breathing's under control, I drive to Jax's house. My plan is to go about my day, as usual, talk to Jax at the hospital, and then leave. I can't let the two of them get hurt, or anyone else at the club. My parents were already involved in a complicated way but they were protected by their status. Jax didn't have that same protection here.

I run into the house, using the key that he had given me just weeks ago that I was now going to have to give back. I don't pay attention to my surroundings when I walk into the nursery, so it takes me a second to register that it's been destroyed just like my office. I can't hold off the sobs this time. Abel was a baby, just a few weeks old, and he was already being demeaned and disrespected. His room that he hadn't even been able to sleep in yet was destroyed after Gemma had put in all that hard work to make it a home for him. My heart broke for him more than it broke for myself and my decision was further solidified. I manage to find the tiny SAMCRO onesie that I had made by someone at the office in the mess of destroyed furniture and baby toys and run out of the house to drive to the hospital.

I walk up to the NICU and see just Gemma in the nursery, Abel wrapped in her arms. I want to hold him one last time before I leave so I walk in. She starts to greet me but stops when she sees my swollen eyes.

"Sweetheart, what happened," She asks, her voice soft but concerned.

"Can I just hold Abel," I ask, completely ignoring her question so that I don't start crying again though it doesn't do me much good because the tears start rolling when I look at his tiny face. She stares for a second before handing him to me and I settle into the rocking chair that's next to his incubator.

"Hi, baby boy. I missed you today. I brought you a present. It's a onesie so that you can match your daddy." His eyes almost seem to light up when I say daddy and a sob breaks in my throat. The door to the NICU opens and I automatically know that it's Jax, but I can't look at him quite yet.

"Dolly, baby, what's wrong? What happened?" When I don't answer him, he crouches down in front of me, resting one of his hands on my knee just below the hem of my pencil skirt.

"Look, Abel, daddy's here," I tell this innocent baby, ignoring Jax because I just want one last minute with the two of them before I break their hearts.

"Dolly," Jax says more sternly this time and tilts my chin up so that I have to look into his eyes. "What happened? Did somebody hurt you? You gotta tell me what's wrong so that I can fix it."

"Oh, Jax, you can't fix this. Nobody can fix this." He looks up at Gemma and she moves to take Abel away from me. I turn away from her. "Just let me hold him for one more second. Please."

They both stay silent while I murmur to Abel how much I love him, how much Jax loves him, how he's going to be so smart and kind. I tell him that it's okay to cry sometimes and that he doesn't have to be strong all the time, that it's okay to lean on others. I tell him that he's gonna be so brave because he's already done one of the hardest things we ever have to do in life - survive. I kiss his cheeks, his nose, and finally his forehead before I hand him over to Gemma.

I let Jax help me stand up and lead me out of the room with a hand on the small of my back. We go out to the deserted waiting room, the sounds of phones ringing and people talking quietly in the background. When we sit down, he pulls me closer and cradles my face in his hands, waiting for me to start talking.

"I didn't tell you everything about why I moved here. Yes, I was trying to escape my parents but I was also running away from someone else. Before I came here, I was engaged for four years to a man named Chase Wright. He was the Chief of Police in our town and was close friends with my father. My father encouraged me to start dating him during my sophomore year of college despite our fifteen-year age gap. I didn't really love him or even like him all that much, but it was what my father expected me to do, so I did it. He didn't beat me or ever lay a hand on me, but he would neglect me if I made him mad or yell at me if he thought I embarrassed him. Sex was always just about him getting off and he hardly ever gave me any kind of pleasure, telling me that I was selfish if I asked for something more.

We were about two months away from getting married and I was working from home one day. I couldn't get my laptop to work right, so I was using his desktop in his office even though I wasn't allowed to. I accidentally opened the files on his laptop and found video after video after video of him and other police officers sexually assaulting women they had arrested or that were in the county jail. I have never been so disgusted in my entire life. There had to have been at least two or three hundred videos, Jax. I didn't know what to do, so I loaded them all onto a flash drive and went to the Georgia Bureau of Investigation because it was the only department above him.

He found out and chased me down to my parents' house. He tried to kill me, but my dad was able to scare him off and he went on the run. I couldn't sleep knowing that he could find me again so I packed everything up, found a small town across the country, and moved here, hoping that he wouldn't be able to track me down."

Jax's hands on my face are practically vibrating with anger. He never interrupted me, but I could tell that there were several times when he wanted to. I knew that he was itching to start making phone calls and start tracking Chase down, but he didn't even know the worst parts yet.

"When I got back to my office after finishing my case today, it was totally destroyed. I'm guessing he saw the pictures of you and me on my desk and flipped his shit. He was always very possessive of me and would lose it if another man tried to talk to me." I take a deep breath to collect myself and the tears start rolling once again. "He somehow managed to find your house and when I went by to pick up the onesie for Abel, he had trashed the nursery. I'm so sorry, Jax."

He stands up and starts pacing around the waiting room. He grabs one of the toys sitting on a table nearby and uses all of his anger to throw it against the wall, leaving a sizeable dent. My guilt makes me so nauseous that I think I'm going to puke but I have to keep talking.

"I'm gonna leave tonight and you'll never have to see me again," I say quietly which stops his pacing.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm gonna find somewhere else to go and I'll pack up my things and leave. I already left your house key on the kitchen counter. I'm so sorry that I did this, Jax. I never should have gotten involved with you knowing that he was trying to find me."

"Dolly, you can't just leave," He tells me, the increased volume telling me that he's close to losing it.

"I can't stay here and put you at risk! He'll kill me and he'll kill anyone that stands in his way. He has nothing to lose, Jax, nothing. I destroyed his life and now he's going to destroy mine. I won't let you and Abel be collateral," I say back and try to keep my voice even.

"I can protect you! He'll never even get near you, Dolly. You're not leaving."

"You can't protect everyone. You're a father now and Abel needs to be your first priority. He hasn't even been out of this building and someone has already violated him, his safe space. I love you and I love him and that's why I have to walk away."

"Don't say that," He growls at me as he stalks over, pressing our chests together. "Don't you dare say that to me right now."

"I feel like it's the only way that I'm going to get you to understand why I have to leave."

"The first time you said that to me was supposed to be when you were happy, not scared. It was supposed to be when we were laughing or you were holding my son or I was making love to you, not when you were telling me that you were leaving me. You don't get to say that to me while you're breaking my heart in two."

"I needed to say it before I leave," I tell him and bring my hand up to hold his cheek. "You have to let me go."

"No."

"Baby, please. Go see Abel. Talk to Gemma. Keep going on with your life. It's not going to stop without me."

Instead of answering me, he kisses me, his tongue tracing his unspoken words onto my own. I savor the feeling of him holding me, lost in my mouth, telling me a million things with just one simple action. I let myself have this last moment as Jax and Dolly before I lose him forever, before I lose a piece of my soul.

"You are my everything, Dolly Dawson. Come back to me, please just come back to me," He pleads and I nearly break at the sight of tears filling his eyes. I kiss him one last time and then I walk away. I don't look back.

My house feels empty, emptier than it has ever felt. We didn't spend much time here, but as I look around, all I see is him. I see him in the pictures that he helped me hang up. I see him in the blue paint of my living room where we spent an entire weekend listening to music and painting. I see him in my bedroom, waiting to surprise me after work with a bouquet of flowers.

Suddenly, I don't see him anymore. All I can see is Chase standing by my nightstand with a pistol in his hand. I accept then that this is the end; the end of the running, the hiding, the fighting. I look into his eyes so that he can see that there is no fear in mine. I've accepted my death and now he just needs to follow through with it.

"You've been quite difficult to hunt down, Dolly." His voice is cold, unfeeling.

"Obviously not if you're here," I reply and the tick of his jaw is something that I'm familiar with.

"I've had a lot of time to think about what you did these last couple of months." He won't fight with me about my sass, not right now.

"What I did? What about what you did? You hurt hundreds of innocent women and you would've gotten away with it. I'm sorry that you're actually facing consequences for once in your privileged little life, but I will never apologize for protecting women from a predator like you."

That strikes a cord and he slams me against my bedroom wall with his hand wrapped around my throat. He's itching to do more, but he's not quite done with his dramatic villain monologue so he keeps me pressed there, his face just inches from mine.

"You don't get to fucking talk about privilege. Your daddy is the only reason that you got away with half the shit that you've done. Don't act all high and mighty when you're just as well protected as I am. Well, I don't think your daddy would be too willing to protect you now if he knew that you've become a biker slut."

"You shut your fucking mouth," I hiss at him. "You don't know shit about me or my life now."

"I know that you spread your legs for the first man that looked your way the second you got into this town. I know that you feel no shame about being white trash now. I know that you're knocked up with his demon spawn. I could've protected you from all that shit, Dolly, if you had just kept your fucking bitch mouth shut."

I have no idea what he is talking about. Jax and I hadn't even entertained the idea of children yet, not with Abel just being born. That's when I realize that he doesn't know that Abel exists. He thinks that the nursery at Jax's is for our unborn child that doesn't exist. I feel relief until I hear the sound of a bike outside the house, and I know that things are about to get much worse.

"Dolly, you're not leaving," Jax yells as he enters the house. At the sound of his voice, Chase spins me so that my back is pressed against his chest and his gun is pointed at my stomach with his arm wrapped across my chest. I close my eyes when Jax's footsteps enter my bedroom.

"Put the gun away," Chase shouts at Jax, pushing the tip of his gun into my stomach.

"Let her go, man. You don't have to do this." Jax, always trying to help people, even when he knows that they can't be helped.

"She ruined my life. The only way this ends is with her dead."

"Jax, please just go. Please," I beg. I don't want him to see this and have to live with it for the rest of his life.

"I'm not leaving without you," He replies, his eyes never leaving Chase's face.

Jax raises his gun and points it at Chase. I close my eyes, afraid of what I'm going to see. A shot rings out, quickly followed by another. I feel Jax's arms wrapped around me before I feel the pain of the bullet embedded in my stomach. The thud of Chase's body falling makes me open my eyes and gasp out at the pain.

"You're okay, baby. You're okay. Breathe, just breathe," Jax instructs, the panic in his voice doing nothing to calm either of us.

"I don't wanna die," I whimper as he tries to put pressure on my stomach.

"You're not gonna die, Dolly. I'm not letting you die, okay, darlin'? I've gotta love you a whole lot more before I let you die," He cries, and the tears in his eyes tell me that it's worse than he's trying to let on. "Chibs! Chibs!"

I'm so thrown off that Jax is calling for the Scotsman right now that I don't notice the sound of the front door slamming open again and Chibs and Tig running in, Opie not far behind. Chibs drops down next to me and starts giving everyone instructions, telling Tig to call an ambulance and Opie to get some towels.

"What were you going to do, kidnap me if I told you I wasn't staying? I really don't think it would take three of them to take me out," I tell Jax and he seems surprised that I would be joking about something right now.

"Wasn't going to lose you and I'm still not going to," He answers, brushing my hair back and wiping away tears that I didn't feel fall.

"Is Abel okay? Turns out Chase didn't know about him, but I still wanna make sure he's okay."

"He's just fine, babe. Gemma's with him. Stop worrying about everyone else right now," He orders. Chibs moves Jax's hands away from my stomach and puts even more pressure on the wound than Jax was. I throw my head back at the pain and can't hold in the small scream I let out.

"He thought I was pregnant," I gasp out to distract myself from the pain. "Chase thought the nursery was for our baby, not Abel."

"Abel is our baby. You've been his mom since he was born, Dolly, and you're gonna be his mom for the rest of his life," He tells me sternly. Any other time and I probably would have melted at what he was saying, but I'm distracted by the sounds of sirens.

Everything becomes a blur after that. There seem to be a million paramedics in the house and they keep trying to push Jax away from me, which just makes him upset which makes me upset which makes me bleed more. It seems like it's going to be an endless cycle until they finally decide that Jax is not leaving me alone and work around him. He climbs into the back of the ambulance with me, never letting go of my hand. I finally pass out from all of the blood loss, and the darkness is like a warm hug.

When I wake up, the lights in the room are dim and it's freezing in the room. Jax is asleep in the chair next to my bed, his hand clasped loosely in my own and the sounds of his light snores echo throughout the room. I gently slide my hand out from his and attempt to stand up to grab his hoodie that's sitting on the chair at the end of my bed, except I almost fall over and loudly grab onto the rolling table by my bed. Jax jerks awake, his arms flailing when he doesn't feel my hand in his own.

"I'm here. I'm fine, I'm fine. I was just trying to grab that hoodie but didn't realize that my balance isn't super good," I reassure him as I sit back down on the bed, blinking away the little black dots that seem to cover most of my vision.

"Darlin', you don't need to be moving. You could bust a stitch or fall and hurt yourself. Lay back down and let me get it for you." Despite my distaste for being ordered around, I listen to him and try to hide my sigh of relief. He's gentle as he pulls the hoodie over my head and pulls my hair out from where it gets stuck. I lean into his hand as he slides it onto my cheek, his thumb rubbing little circles.

"I love you," I whisper, turning to kiss his palm.

"I love you, too, darlin'. So much," He whispers back. "Thought of losing you almost killed me. You're everything, baby, everything and so much more. Don't try and leave me again."

"I promise. Never gonna leave you, long as you don't leave me first.

#soa #sons of anarchy #jax teller #jax #charlie hunnam #sonsfx #chibs telford #tig trager #opie winston #gemma teller #jax teller fanfiction #sons of anarchy fanfiction

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mslanna · 8 months

Text

Disclosed Desires

Chapter 4 of A Mortifying Ordeal now up on AO3

95% smut. You can skip when he vanishes his clothes.

I have no idea how I got through that dinner. The food was delicious, like utterly out of my budget and Raphael just sat there like a statue of Adonis only looking better and alive. Has the world ever seen eyes so brown? Probably not because it didn't implode and gods know I was so close.

Also, that voice. Once he realised The Purr had me in a stranglehold, he defaulted to it. Kept quizzing me about Baldur's Gate 3, too. Embarrassing and the one thing that saved the chair I sat on. I'm bad at meta, won't lie, so trying to explain things to him was pretty excruciating.

He kept insisting on me having a favourite way to play dialogues and such being a sign of me remembering and trying to be who I was before. Looking at that sopping soft guy who hid a complete devil under that face, was close to making me believe. No other reason anybody's pursue me with such fervour. But then I also have a favourite way to play Dragon Age 2 and I'm certainly no Hawke.

The thought of Varric turning up and trying to convince me to return to Kirkwall stuck around for almost half a minute. Mind you, he wouldn't have such convincing arguments for making me want to be Hawke and return.

Raphael, though? He's truly impossible, not gonna lie. I have to admire his staunch belief that I am in fact his Tav!Tav. Almost enough to make me doubt myself.

And gods do I wanna be them. He woos with the fierceness of a thousand suns, looking about as hot. Doesn't help if he's in his human form, guy is on fire! And not backing off. I am be as red as his devil skin when we arrive back at my room. Godsdamned, it is shabby. I am shabby. And he doesn't even care.

Also, he's utterly gorgeous. Tall. I have A Thing for tall guys, might be a reason none of my guys was under 2 meters. And in devil form Raphael is even taller. And so big. Need I say I wanna be all over him? Probably not, I am thirsty. I am horny and I want to cry so bad.

Poor sod deserves better. Deserves his actual real Tav. I know they'd love him so good. Kiss every inch of that man. Empty him like the last capri sun on the planet. Damn, they lucky. And I just have a finger under my chin and stare up into those damning eyes. Needs a licence for those, he does.

"Having second thoughts?"

Gah, I hate the soft insecurity in his voice. "Not about the – the thing itself no." Honesty, I whack myself internally. Honesty served me well so far. Gotta keep it up. "I wanna bang you so bad. 'til we both see stars and worse."

"But?"

"I know you think I'm your Tav. And man do I wish I was." I take his hand that holds my chin between mine. "But I'm not and you – you deserve better," I sigh. Can't hold his gaze either.

Waiting for him to react is the worst. My flight or flight instinct kicks in hard and my heart at least listens and pumps like mad. Thanks body.

Raphael is silent way too long. Probably having second thoughts himself and third thoughts and fourth thoughts, too. He's a crafty one. What am I even thinking? He got better things to do with his life than me. Which is why I can't let the Tav angle go. It's my one and only chance to get my hands on him. I am corrupt down to the bone. Or at least down to the cunt.

Doesn't help I had a taste already after amarettini and espresso. How he tastes so good, flavoured with almond and coffee. It's a small miracle we ended up in my room again and not in jail for public fornication. Coulda climbed him like a tree there and then.

"I appreciate your concern," he finally says. "It is very – consistent for you to put me and my feelings before yourself despite your obvious state. Please know that I acknowledge your worry, though I do not share it. Of course it is up to you, if you want to proceed. I will accept your withdrawal, much as it pains me. But you don't have to do anything more than let your gut guide you. Trust me."

How did he make so many words for before getting to the point. I get lost in his voice immediately and barely surface for the final 'trust me'.

"I do." Gods it is the most stupid thing ever. But I trust him. And I want to believe him, not only because his voice is utterly gorgeous but also because he says things I am desperate to hear. I want to believe so bad.

"Then, with that out of the way, you should ignore your misgivings for now. "

Wish it was that easy. Like, in theory it is, people making their own decisions, being their own people and you having to accept that. But it is hard to watch somebody you love, of fuck, I'm up in delulu-land further than the maps chart it. Still, it is hard to watch him throw himself uselessly at the nearest lump that looks like his Tav.

He must read my hesitation all wrong (unsurprising) because he takes my hand and brings it up to his lips. Damn demon devil. The way his index finger pokes into my palm is outrageously suggestive for it being mere hands. Good lord, sir what those fingers do?

"Maybe it will help bringing your memories back." He straightens with that predatory smile and my inhibitions don't even pretend to put up a fight.

"You fucked?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"You know that Tav fucking Haarlep and you fucking Haarlep in Tav's form isn't really you two fucking, yes?"

"Well," he grins like a wolf, "maybe it is time then to do the real thing."

In a swoosh of hellfire. Raphael transforms and also, sheds all of his clothes. I freeze except for my mouth that manages to go completely dry and water at the same time. Raphael's smile turns sharps as a knife as he points downwards. "Kneel."

Oh. Oh, hot damn, I will. I so will. But first – I cannot not touch him. His chest is broad and inviting and the skin is hot and all those ridges swirling everywhere. Gods strike me down if he didn't shudder when I placed my hand on him. He's burning under my fingers that move down his sides, up his arms and head. I can't reach very high on the horns but it doesn't matter. They feel alive under my palms, rugged.

The smile spreading on my face threatens to split it in half. Raphael is a sight. A whole banquet. More than I can hope to ever eat and most likely more than my mouth can hold. My hands round back over his shoulders, feathering over the collarbones. So many delicious ridges. I wanna bite them all. Nibble and munch until my jaw tires.

"Something you like?" His tone is only half mocking. "I am not used to having my orders disobeyed."

My eyes hitch on his mouth, that moves temptingly as he speaks. "Kiss me." I don't think. And when his hands alight on my sides, I jump at him, wrap myself around him any way possible and strain towards his lips.

Raphael laughs, low, and I feel it hum through my body. He takes it slow, lips tantalisingly out of reach until they meet mine ever so softly. I moan. He tastes so good. And as soon as his tongue demands tribute, I open up and swallow it whole.

Bad in bed whatever. He can kiss. If I didn't cling to him like a desperate koala, I would have melted into a puddle on the floor. As things are. My with feet hooked at the small of his back my legs can go as wobbly as they want. I am secure against him, ruining my pants and trousers too. Totes worth it.

He pries me off way too soon. The coronas in his black hole eyes burst with fire. "On your knees," he repeats and the low rumble is in itself enough to send me to the floor.

Not quickly, mind you. Can't pass on the chance to kiss all them ridges. And that is obviously allowed. My hand vanguards between his legs and damn. He's big. He's full of bumps and ridges I can't wait to pommel my insides with. But first – the chest. Only a little hair remains, but I'll take it.

As long as my head is on a slow descent, I can nibble on the red skin wherever. Don't care if my moans are louder than his. I'm in heaven. His problem now. Then I reach the happy trail and boy does it make me happy. I want to slurp it up, swoosh down and suck up the whole devil cock first.

Taking time is so hard, but then, so is he. Oh how delicious to arrive at a full on erection. My fingers mover over the pronounced ridges, feeling for future pleasure as I lean in. He's got a little crown of bumps just under the tip that looks absolutely delish.

A hand slips under my chin and raises my head. "Look at me."

Oh hot damn, if that's how he wants to play it. I lock my eyes to his and slip my lips over the very tip of his cock ever so slowly. He's so very still I can feel the tremble of his muscles tense to keep in place. I press the tip of my tongue against his tip, move it slowly, keep his eyes caught. This is a battle of wills he won't win.

Listen, I may be a little out of practice but I know my stuff. And he's signalling like nobody's business. Gods, he tastes so good, little burning flecks of precum on my tongue and the way he shivers when my tongue laps it up.

My head moves on without breaking eye contact. His cock slips in easy and deep and my tongue can't get on to those ridges fast enough. I'm sucking him like a lollipop. Every inch is to be explored, tasted, caressed. Rumbling sounds fall over me from above and only entice me to go down deeper. I want all of him inside of me and if this is how it happens, I will swallow.

His hands tangle in my hair. Gotta hand it to a guy who can find purchase in a pix cut. Not that it'll help him any. I help myself liberally to all of his cock abolishing my gagging reflex on the spot. Ain't nobody got no time for that.

I suck him in as deep as I can and then some because I am greedy. I want all of him and that's what I'll have and if it kills me. I don't care. I suck him in hard, deep and hungry. My teeth hitch on the ridges. My hands tighten on his balls and I wanna wring him dry, crush him like a lemon in the squeezer. Mine now. All mine.

Raphael's hands close on over my scalp. I am rabid. Clawed fingers press in tightly. I feel the nails pierce my skin as I go all in. The pain is familiar and exquisite. Unlike the fire erupting into my mouth, running down my throat like whiskey and chili.

I gulp it down as if I hadn't just feasted on the finest Mediterranean food. Gotta keep going. The cock is easier to take now that it softens and damned if I won't gurgle it down to the hilt. I'm almost offended when he pulls me up and definitely too short when he bends to kiss me.

Doesn't deter Raphael the least. He's big (oh yeah) and strong and just stands me on the bed so we can smooch good. He's sucking his taste from my mouth as if I stole it. Well, I'll gladly give him all I got. Also, I'm having an advantage because my hands run over hot skin (oh those swirling ridges!) and I'm still dressed.

His fingers bunch the fabric of my shirt and his tail wraps around my right ankle. Oh that's driving me wild. I'd be moaning all over the place if my mouth wasn't busy exploring every inch of devil it can reach. Little tugs of the tail in reaction to what goes on further up. Enough to turn my knees into pudding.

Raphael pushes me back a little, running a hand down the button tab. A knowing smirk plays over his lips. I wanna kiss that away. I wanna drink it up until it fills my whole existence. And he knows. Raphael tilts his head a little. "Open up."

Oh there is good reason that line isn't in the game spoken by him. I'd open up my legs wide no questions asked. Unfortunately, he's still looking at my shirt. Reluctantly I take my hands back to myself. If that's what he wants, he can have it. Gods, this guy can have everything. (Doesn't he know it.)

I hold his gaze and open the first button. Very slowly. I can see the fire flare up in his eyes. I can also feel his adventurous little tail move up my leg. The next button and another upwards slide wraps the tail around my knee. Raphael's grin a threat and a treat. Sweet hells. I can't even slow down any further because I started at least possible speed.

My fingers play with the next button and the tip of his tail dances against the inside of my thigh. Swallowing hard, I open the button and let the caress of skin snaking around my thigh wash over me. Two buttons left to go.

The second to last button brings him up against my cunt. The tail has no problems slipping between my folds; I'm wet as a waterfall.

I open the last button and nothing happens. I cock my head in a question and Raphael motions to brush the shirt of my shoulders. With a dry mouth I do and as soon as the fabric crests my shoulders, he moves in. His tail is hot, smooth and prehensile. I drop the worst moan ever as my knees give in, shirt hanging forgotten at half-mast.

Raphael catches me. Shirt forgotten he buries his face against mine again, tongue digging deep as his tail. My hands are on his chest again, gripping and grappling. Raphael pulls me close. His left bunches my shirt behind my back, trapping my hands as he bears down for another kiss. I'm flush against him, and my mans is working up an erection again already.

My cunt rises like a neon invitation. I arch perfectly against his chest, diabolical alchemy, I'm sure. Can't think further with my cunt full of tail and moth full of tongue – both slithering and slipping and demanding.

Clawed hands move down my sides, leaving red trails of fire. His fingers close in on my pussy and while I am all for that, he is in his cambion form. Pain is fine in moderation but there is some things I am not ready for yet.

"Before you can even think of putting any of those in down there, we gotta file of the claws," I gasp. In retaliation, I get his index finger into my mouth I suck down hard and accept the middle finger that follows.

His left still presses me against him, tail working up my cunt and fingers down my throat I hang on by that thread. I'm overflowing. I still need more. And he's generous. Boy is he giving. I may not be stuffed, but I am not empty either. My walls clench taking what they can and my mouth is muffled by fingers and want as he bends me backwards.

I fall freely and unworried. Hit the mattress soft enough. Barely registers through my horny haze as I rut at him like the last freak alive. He tastes so good. I wanna suck his mouth dry as well. Doing my best. Getting paid in hungry growls. Oh we feasting tonight.

Then he goes down. Not even slow. Skips all the in-between steps (it's fine, nothing to see there) to breathe hot air over my clit. And before I finished gasping out a hopeful moan, his tongue descended and I am deceased.

Doesn't matter if he'll come two thrusts in. I'm fucked already, writhing like a snake on silk sheets, getting nowhere but deeper into desire. Devil down there hums, send that reverberation into my bones through my sogging wet pussy. I'm so far gone, I can't even wish for him to finish me off.

Raphael's mouth works my clit as if I won't ever need it again, hungry tongue making short work of my arousal. I clench around the tip of his tail, riding on waves of ecstasy. Best night of my life.

#bg3 #bg3 raphael #raphael x tav #bg3 fanfiction #mel writes fanfic #sleazy second-hand car dealer #A Mortifying Ordeal #chapter 4

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onceandfutureoshainspector · 9 months

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- oh, for fuck's sake, what in the goddamn are you doing here?

---- i gotta say, i'm very surprised at this. i think this is the first time i've seen Maxson outside of his Brooding Room, let alone this far from the Mothership. the fact that he's not surrounded by guards implies to me that he flew himself here, too. no backup, no witnesses, presumably nobody told where he was going - what the fuck is up with this??????

Maxson: How dare you betray the Brotherhood! Danse: It's not her fault. It's mine.

- ah, dagnabit. my process at the moment is that i play through a little chunk, making notes and taking screenshots, and then i type out the dialogue from the screenshots in the appropriate spaces in my notes (and format in html as i go because the sad fact is that that's less aggravating than trying to format with tumblr's rich text editor >_<). except now my xbox is being a shit, and i've apparently missed a few lines of dialogue, after i've overwritten the file saved before this conversation. i'm so mad.

- physically placing myself between my grandson and this lunatic.

Maxson: [missed line? screenshot unclear] Cat: He's not a "thing". He's one of your best men. Maxson: Have you taken leave of your senses? Danse isn't a man, it's a machine... an automaton created by the Institute! It wasn't born from the womb of a loving mother, it was grown within the cold confines of a laboratory! Flesh is flesh! Machine is machine! The two were never meant to intertwine! By attempting to play God, the Institute has taken the sanctity of human life and corrupted it beyond measure!

Danse: After all I've done for the Brotherhood... all the blood I've spilled in our name, how can you say that about me? Maxson: You're the physical embodiment of what we hate most! Technology that's gone too far! Look around you, Danse! Look at the scorched earth and the bones that litter the wasteland! Millions... perhaps even billions, died because science outpaced man's restraint! They called it a "new frontier" and "pushing the envelope", completely disregarding the repercussions! Can't you see that the same thing is happening again?! You're a single bomb in an arsenal of thousands preparing to lay waste to what's left of mankind!

- Maxson really, fundamentally doesn't get what the Institute's whole deal is, does he? like, their thing is sinister and horrific, but he's talking about them like they're the Brotherhood. this entire crusade was never about any of the actual harm the Institute were doing, it was because he heard someone else had power and technology and assumed that they'd use it like he would if he had the chance.

Cat: That's insane. He dedicated his life to protecting mankind. Maxson: Is that what it told you? How can you trust the word of a machine that thinks it's alive? Those ethics that it's striving to champion aren't even its own. They were artificially inserted in an attempt to have it blend in to society.

- WELCOME TO BEING AUTISTIC MOTHERFUCKER YOU JUST DESCRIBED *LEARNED SOCIAL BEHAVIOURS*!!!!!!!!!!!!

Danse: It's true. I was built within the confines of a laboratory, and some of my memories aren't my own. But when I saw my brothers dying at my feet, I felt sorrow. When I defeated an enemy of the Brotherhood, I felt pride. And when I heard your speech about saving the Commonwealth... I felt hope. Don't you understand? I thought I was human, Arthur! From the moment I was taken in by the Brotherhood, I've done absolutely nothing to betray your trust, and I never will. Maxson: It's too late for that now. I don't intend to debate this any longer. My orders stand. Danse: You've convinced me that I was wrong to be ashamed of my true identity, and I thank you for it. Whatever you decide, know that I'm going to my grave with no anger and no regrets.

- dude, come on! we just talked about this!

Maxson: Touching.

- YOU shut the fuck up!

Cat: After all the sacrifices I've made and all the battles I've fought for the Brotherhood, you need to listen to me. You owe me that much. Maxson: Very well, I'm listening.

- :3

Cat: If Danse dies, then you lose me as well. I can't stay in good conscience if his life means that little to you.

- this is very similar to the position i was in with High Confessor Tetris. i have too much clout for even Lord Eyeshadow to sweep me under the rug now, and i think he's just now realising it. literally anyone else, even renowned heroes like THE Paladin Danse, he can do away with if he's quick and quiet and doesn't let them get a word in edgeways, but me? i go loud, and i go messy, and i take the bastard with me.

---- check.

Maxson: Unbelievable. You'd be willing to sacrifice your career... for the sake of a machine. So. It appears we've arrived at an impasse. Allowing Danse to live undermines everything the Brotherhood stands for, yet you insist that he remains alive. Which leaves me with only a single alternative. Danse. As far as I'm concerned, you're dead. From this day forward, you are forbidden to set foot on the Prydwen, or speak to anyone from the Brotherhood of Steel. Should you choose to ignore me, know that you'll be fired upon immediately. Do we understand each other? Danse: I do. [missed line i think] Maxson: Don't mistake my mercy for acceptance. I'm returning to the Prydwen, Knight. Take some time, say your goodbyes, and then I expect to see you there. We still have the Institute to deal with.

- good move, buster.

#fuckyalife buddy boi #fallout 4: the resurrection of osha #fallout 4

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sillylittlegay · 1 year

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Resident Evil – Oneshot [Luis Serra Navarro X Leon Scott Kennedy]

Warnings; Angst, no good ending (sorry)

Summary; Luis has to get a new identity, Leon supports and helps him through all of it, Luis tries to keep the agent close but Leon just gets out of his grasp

Authors Notes; Them <3

Serrennedy Nation rise I need more content of them fr.

Also this is sorta a "Luis didn't die, everyone's happy" typa story, am thinking of making a part 2 for this where they do end up happy but idk yet

As always I apologize for any mistakes! I cannot speak Spanish so if I get anything wrong please tell me so I can work on it!

Luis shook his head profusely. He had just been told that he'd need to get a new identity just to live in America because they officially let him die in that shit hole of a castle.

He hated it.

He had hoped to at least get to keep his first name, maybe change his haircut and he'd be fine, but that weird lady that Leon had introduced as Hunnigan said that he needed to start completely new. He didn't want to. At this point he wished he would've stayed in Spain, but he just couldn't tell Leon that he didn't want to come with him. He did want to come with him, he would've lied to himself if he had said no when Leon told him to come with him and Ashley, he would've lied to himself about his feelings and Luis wasn't someone who did that. Not since Umbrella. He told himself he'd always do and say what he felt like. Nothing more, nothing less. Luis just wanted to be himself, yet he now had to hide forever. With an identity that wouldn't be his own.

»You good?« Luis turned his head towards the one who spoke – the dirty blonde Agent stood in the doorway to the small quarters that had been given to Luis. »I gotta be, don't I Prince Charming?« The Spaniard grinned, honestly just glad for the company of his favourite person. »Nah. You can be unwell. It's fine. I wouldn't like getting a whole new identity either. Plus the whole legally dead thing.« Leon stepped inside, taking a seat at the rather dusted desk. The chair creaked loudly once Leon put his while weight on it. Luis just shrugged at his words, softly laughing at the fact that everything in this room seemed to be really old. They surely gave him the five star suite. »I don't mind being dead, honestly. At least Umbrella's off my ass.« Leon softly chuckled at the taller, earning him a genuine smile from Luis. Luis loved the sound of Leon's laugh and chuckles – he seriously hadn't heard it often yet but he swore it was his favourite sound. »But yeah. The identity thing sucks. Mierda, just when I started to like myself too!« Luis joked, yet the honesty in his voice didn't go unnoticed by the agent sitting across from him. Leon could clearly see just how much Luis hated getting a new identity. He knew Luis had tried to convince Hunnigan to let him keep his first name – he made a mental note to talk to her about that. A first name wouldn't be the end of him. »It'll be fine. I'm sure of it. Once you've got the whole thing through I'll help you get a proper job and somewhere to live.« He promised, looking the Spaniard right in the eye, Leon's very own way of making sure the other knew he was dead serious. In return Luis chuckled, hurriedly looking away from the shorter. Leon blamed the soft red colour on his cheeks on the bad lighting. He noted to also talk to Hunnigan about getting Luis a better room. »Well..« Leon started, getting up from his seat, the chair creaked loudly once again. »I should leave you alone, get a good night's sleep and all that.« He mumbled, already leaving the room again. Luis nodded, softly smiling as he watched the other leave. »Don't get lost without me, Príncipe.« He spoke while Leon already closed the door behind himself. He heard him laugh softly before the door shut, Luis deemed this day as successful enough.

The next morning Luis was immediately called to Hunnigan. He sighed as he put on one of the shirts that had been given to him – stuff he normally wouldn't wear. Plain black shirts, plain black pants. Luis missed his signature clothing already. Not even his beloved jacket he had been allowed to keep. He'd have to buy a new one. Although he didn't even know if he'd be able to yet. There was a high chance he'd never get acces to his previous bank account ever again and a new job meant lots of time where he'd be unhappy with the pay... Luis got pulled out of his thoughts when he arrived Hunnigans Office. He had been told by Leon that she normally didn't have people in her office, mostly because there wasn't anyone she needed to see. »You adjusting alright?« Hunnigan asked, Luis hummed in response. He knew she was just asking because she felt like she needed to. »Well, quite a few changes. We've got most stuff for your new life finished though. Also you're getting a new room here in the quarters. Thank Leon for that one, he's annoying as shit when he wants something.« Hunnigan seemed to talk more to herself than to Luis. She quickly went through multiple different folders while speaking, nodding to herself once she found what seemed to be Luis'. He could see the little picture of him stuck to the front and his name written on it in thick, red letters. »So? New name found for me already?« He huffed, letting Hunnigan know he was still extremely annoyed at all this. The only point that made all this better was that Leon apparently seemed to still care about him. »Just be happy with it, this is the best thing you could get Luis.« Hunnigan pushed up her glasses as she handed Luis his new passport. The first thing he'd have as new person. »Wait... Why's my first name still on here? I thought you said–« Luis started, the confusion on his face and voice made Hunnigan sigh loudly. »You said you wanted to keep it. In the end you've gotta thank Kennedy for that one too. Again, he's annoying if he wants something.« Hunnigan interrupted him. Luis looked at her, watching as she turned back to her computer and the mountain of files. She signed him to go, for her the conversation was over. Luis on the other hand just had more questions.

First off, he'd ask Leon about this.

Finding the agent was harder than Luis had thought, apparently either Leon wasn't here anymore or he tried his best to avoid him. Both would really suck. He even tried asking others but all of them proved to be of exactly zero help. Luis huffed in annoyance as he walked towards the room he'd now get to call his own – the room Leon made possible for him to even have in the first place. Ever since Luis and Leon first met there was some sort of mutual understanding that they'd help each other. Right now, Luis was sick if that understanding. How was he supposed to help Leon? Was there even something Leon S. Kennedy needed help with? Luis chuckled, thinking about telling the younger one how he'd pay for his Therapy after everything that happened in Spain – especially the fact that he nearly died. Again, only thanks to the Agent he was still alive and well. The Spaniard owed Leon so much more than he'd ever be able to return.

»Heard you were searching for me?« The curly haired turned around, his eyes landing upon the agent that was smoothly leaning against the door frame – Luis wasn't even sure where he was right now. A soft curse left his lips. »You really know how to appear in doorways out of nowhere, eh prince charming?« He huffed, playful annoyance in his voice as he took a few steps towards the shorter one. Leon shrugged in response, a soft grin on his lips as he looked at Luis. »What do you want? After all that searching, I mean.. you must want something.« Leon sighed, his eyes looked tired yet the interest and genuine smile on his face seemed to erase that small feature. »Why'd you tell the Lady to get me a better room? To keep my first name?« The brown haired asked, taking another cautious step towards the blonde agent, watching him shuffle a bit. If Luis didn't know better he'd probably think Leon was blushing ever so slightly as his blue eyes darted around the room, looking at anything but him. »Just thought you'd like that. A first name won't get you killed, right?« Leon chuckled. It sounded nervous, like he was scared to admit that he had done something like that for a stranger he kinda just met. »Thank you Leon.« Luis hummed, content with the answer. »Maybe once I'm outta here and back in the normal life I could take you somewhere? To thank you and... Well maybe as a date?« He took the leap, hoping he hadn't just destroyed everything, hoping the shocked look on Leon's face would be replaced by a smile soon – he was wrong. »Luis.. I'm sorry but... This Job's keeping me on my toes and... Well I don't date. It's not that I don't want to–« Luis interrupted the dirty blondes rambling with a sigh. »Don't worry, I get it. It's fine.« The taller smiled, but it was noticeable that it didn't reach his eyes and the way his lips curled because he forced them to, not because he was happy.

»I'll leave you to it then, Leon.«

A nod from the other.

»Goodbye Luis.«

#resident evil #resident evil leon #resident evil 4 #re4 #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil luis #leon kennedy x luis serra #luis serra navarro #serennedy #serrennedy

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