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#and now im going to bed bcs its like 8
faaun · 1 month
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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whatthefuckisasweep · 9 months
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cant sleep … plagued with thoughts.. overstimmed… also starving… time to scroll tumblr till i have to go to class :,((
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garpond · 26 days
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i want to cry i dont know how im going to get through work or class tomorrow if i cant sleep tonight my head already hurt really bad today im fucking sick of it i just want to sleep
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gemharvest · 1 month
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The biggest con to staying up really late aside from like, the fucking up ur sleep schedule thing, is that nobody close to ur timezone/ in it is awake to talk to unless they're also insane (/lh, like my bestie but they're 2hrs behind me so still doing better than me rn).
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cerbreus · 3 months
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boutta start ordering rocks online again just to feel alive
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piplupod · 11 months
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(can i please get a waffle voice): can i PLEASE having a coping mechanism that doesnt turn maladaptive. can i PLEAAASE have just one !!! i am Begging you, on my hands and knees !!!!! AUGH
#tfw your coping mechanism detaches you from reality and now you're watching yourself warily to make sure u dont fall into That Pit again#skirting around the edge and unhooking my claws from the coping mechanism and holding it gingerly with the tips of my fingers#praying i do not have to put it down entirely. because man..... its slim pickings around here for shit that actually Works fhfjdkl#the issue with reality being nigh unbearable ... is that you cannot bear reality. and thus detach. but u cannot go too far away from it.#or else Bad Shit happens. that i don't especially want to experience again fhdjdkdl#it'd be so cool to have a brain that didnt do this. so i could just freely la-dee-da along with fun things#instead of the fun things turning Bad bc they went too far fjfkdl#or having to keep a very close eye on myself when i get into new things bc i can see they have the potential to go badly for Me w my brain#sobbing forever honestly. i feel awful. this sucks shit. im trying to be funny about it to cope but im Upset fjfjddkl#im so sick of this type of thing fjdkdl I wish i could just like... be okay. for a while. without it going badly like this fjfkfl#i thought maybe i was on the up finally but nooooo it's just bc i was getting too far from holding onto reality properly#god i hate this pattern. im so fucking angry w it tbh fjfkfl i cannot believe i let myself think this was going to be different fjfkfl#but anyways!! onwards we march and hopefully i figure smth out fjfkdl im uhhhh very tired#going to crawl into bed at the ripe time of 8:30pm and just go listen to music and draw or smth idk fjfkfl this is frustrating#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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kidrat · 11 months
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bruh antidepressant withdrawal is NOT it
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#i think. maybe ill go to bed before 8 tonight#bc my brain. i can't deal with it. and im tired#but i should not do that bc i have things i need to do#like. theres an application due the 11th. but fuck it i might not send it bc fucking whats the point#why has it become so impossible to function? i mean. i kno why but its still annoying#and its like so crazy bc i just feel like im curled up on the floor with the broken pieces of my life and nothing terribles even happened#from an outside perspective its perfectly fine and good my insides have just rottef out#like i had to spend most of today plotting an experiment and i feel bad bc im just so. im so worried that looking after yhis thing is going#to hurt. its going to drain away hours of my time. i dont kno how long it take to deal with every single day for 2 weeks#ill have to water it at 7 and 5 and take measurements all day probably and im very worried about the amount of damage thats going to do#when it already feels like i should b careful where i step. and i feel bad bc im prob such a bummer to hang around like im so sullen faced#and i just dont care. like we had to make a decision bc we could do one thing or another and it would b answering 2 diff questions#and my boss was like. well which do u find most interesting. and i just. i dont care im more concern with the amount of psychic damage this#will inflict upon me so i just dont really give a fuck and that makes me so sad bc like at one point this probably would have been fun#and now im just bitter and it hurt and i jusr want to lay down and not get up#and im like how the fuck am i supposed to find a phd position when the enthusiasm for what i do now has completely burned thru me?#like hi yes r u looking for a new student? im dizzy and my life is falling apart even tho everythings my brains just on fire#but ya kno i think id b an asset to your lab! sigh... itll b fine i kno it will bc it has to b#ill visit the school i wanna go to. hopefully not make myself look like too much of an unstable moron and then leave this place#dragg my bleeding soul across the country to shrivel up in a different area code#somethings gotta give but lets hope it waits a couple months ya kno#ugh. im just tired. i should sleep. i didnt sleep enough last night. and i didnt relax on the weekend so ive got that i don't kno what day#it is type of vertigo. but tomorrow will b better. it will bc i dont want it to b worse#unrelated#i just want to study things that made me feel something. y doesn't that have to b so hard?#let me study slime. endless days alone with the green goo
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storm-of-feathers · 2 years
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ugh
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toastsnaffler · 3 months
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okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)
#liked it a lot on a lot of levels. visuals n soundtrack n acting was great. rly subtle n cohesive n effective#i wanna sit with it a little to digest it and maybe rewatch#but unfortunately i didnt get the same emotional resonance a lot of ppl did from it.. possibly bc i was watching w other ppl#but i dont think its that i think i just struggle to connect meaningfully w things that are like. what if the choices u didnt make#alienated u from the world and ur sense of self n what if the life u were living was a hollow bubble separate from the real world etcetc#bc like yeah man im very aware of how unreal my life n the world around me feels at times. and it isnt bc im holding myself within#tight limitations/constraints in order to hide parts of me from myself or forcing myself to be smth im not in order to engage w society#like im just mentally ill n the dissociation n derealisation are symptoms of that..#i can 100% understand why so many queer ppl feel so strongly abt it n the gender stuff implied in it#but thats just not my experience of queerness personally. its never been smth ive had to grapple with much#like yeah i havent fully figured out my gender shit. but im ok w that its not holding me back from living the life i want to be living#my sense of self is just so far divorced from my physical body and the physical world around me..... idk im too tired to articulate this#but that aside i did rly like it as a movie! and it was very heartbreaking.. just not in a way that struck me super personally#which i was rly hoping it would ahh sorry everyone 😔 but hey maybe thatll come after i think abt it some more#lots of cool effects too i liked the different ways they did the moon face thing. i liked how effective the whole distortion of memory#and nostalgia etc was done visually.. aesthetically very yummy. aw man..#i didnt even cry i was rly hoping it would make me cry...... :-(#makes me feel like im missing out on smth cuz everyone else ive seen talk abt it got hit so hard by it#just made my peace w being on the outside looking in i guess.. i shook out all my regrets and what-couldve-beens as a depressed teen#n now im just here to vibe forever..... 😌 i am toooooo tired to be typing i just keep saying the same thing over an dover probably#maybe a 7 or 8 out of 10 movie for me i think which is still pretty damn worth it#okayyy brushing my teeth and going to bed cuz i wanna go climbing tomorrow so need to rest up ‼️#sorry i dont want to rain on anyones parade genuinely did think it was a great movie im glad others are feeling it so intensely#ahhhh!!!!#.diaries
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kethabali · 1 year
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omg this is the first time a summer internship turned into something longer i never thought it would happen to me because my summer jobs are always busy work types but this time its at a nonprofit that does political advocacy which is what i'm studying and working on in school so it actually matches my ~career~ so idk but i still thought it would just end in august because i wasn't giving like my 100% maybe 75-85%.. but yeah i'm surprised they want me to continue until december.. that means i'll have regular income for like 4 months that hasn't happened since.. honestly i don't think that has ever happened i'm always living off savings from doing odd jobs here and there for a month or 2 so this is exciting and with all the financial aid disbursements and the summer internship income plus my fellowship fundings i will actually save up a shit ton of money and i won't have to worry about running out anymore ive been worrying about that for a whole ass year ever since i had to pay for this stupid apartment and i rented the airbnb to get away from my mom.. i mean it was worth it and its good that i have this apartment now but ive been seriously stressed about money for the past year so this is a really big relief that in a few weeks i won't have to worry anymore i feel like 5 times lighter now like idk i feel so much more relaxed maybe now i can stop spending so much money on weed
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sirompp · 1 year
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"it would just be really easy comedy," i say, imagining myself twirling around and having fun as a boy in a dress in a flower field
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moonlit-imagines · 2 months
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Headcanons for being Johnny Lawrence’s daughter
Johnny Lawrence x daughter!reader
warnings: alcohol, underage drinking, classic johnny sexism <3
a/n: WHAT! ME write a fic thats not gn, i know. im shocked too but its just bc i feel johnny is so gender-stereotypey that doing this gn wouldn’t work very well but very open to a son!r or nb!r if anyone is interested (bc seriously. johnny cannot help but bring up genders). also i just want to say that a lot of this (not all!) honestly reminds me of or are actual things that have happened w my dad bc johnny is literally my dad if my dad was like 8 years older i think also i wrote this all in one sitting ALSO NO COBRA KAI SEASON 6 SPOILERS
prompt:
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GIRL DAD!
you always kinda just gravitated toward living with your dad
“y/n, i’m so proud of you. i never have to worry about you. you can take care of yourself. robby on the other hand, i worry about him. i think girls are just more self sufficient” -johnny, a little drunk
“thanks dad” -you, also a little drunk (hes a “cool dad”)
he was the type of parent that “prefers that if you’re gonna do something stupid at least do it while he’s around” aka underage drinking
whenever he stays out late you fall asleep in his bed. and lock him out
“y/n! open the door!” -johnny, banging on the door
“no! your bed is more comfortable” -you
he thought it was sweet honestly but he did want to sleep in his bed
sort of like a lesson not to come home late all drunk and gross
he was VERY against letting you drive his car
“dad, i need my license!” -you
“no woman is getting behind the wheel of my firebird” -johnny
“why do you have to make it about women? i’ll fight you” -you
“you’ll lose that fight” -johnny
“oh, so you’d fight a teenage girl? wow, real classy, dad” -you
“no, but i’d fight my teenage daughter. i brought you into this world and i’ll take you out” -johnny
you honestly had a great sense of humor with johnny, but you’d check him if he said anything too messed up
“dad, it’s not the 80’s anymore, you can’t say that” -you
“dont tell me what i can and cant say! the 80’s were awesome, i wish it was the 80’s again” -johnny
“so i’ve heard” -you
he helped you with your homework as a kid until like, 2nd grade when multiplication and division got involved
he did teach you karate growing up! but mostly the basics, for self defense purposes
“hey, never let any guy try to impress you with his karate skills. he’s probably a douche” -johnny, pausing “i sure was”
late night movie marathons (70s/80s classics for sure)
he took care of you during your first hangover (high school parties, ya know)
“didn’t i teach you better than to mix liquors” -johnny
“ugghhhh” -you
yes, you have heard about daniel larusso. enough said LMAO
robby and you had a kind of sweet but distant relationship
occasional check-in texts
robby: are you doing okay with dad? he’s actually buying food and shit?
you: yeah! he’s fine right now, how’s mom? new stepdad yet? is he rich?
robby: mom’s not going anywhere she’d find a rich guy, but keep dreaming
you wear a lot of your dad’s old t-shirts. usually band tee’s
oh and he made sure you got into the “right music”
he used to drive you around in the firebird when you were a SMALL CHILD (front seat, no car seat!) and blast his old cassettes
for YEARS he’d pull the “who is this” “what song is this” game with the reasoning:
“if you wear a band shirt and some asshole asks you to name three songs, i want you to name ten” -johnny
listen. you were still “daddy’s girl” or whatever used to be a cute little saying and is now ruined but whatever
“dad, can i have twenty bucks?” -you
“for what” -johnny
“for fun. pleaseeee” -you
*johnny pulls out his wallet and gives you $40*
could he afford it? no. can he say no? also no.
the absolute fear he felt when you got your first period
“it’s fine, i can call mom” -you
“no, it’s not fine! i’ve had girlfriends before, i got this. stay here, i’ll be back” -johnny
he went to the store and bought the most random assortment of period products and pain meds and snacks and a heating pad
A for effort
when the diaz family moved in across from you guys, miguel took one look at you and johnny said:
“stay away from my daughter”
when the karate fuss got started you tried to keep your distance but sooner or later you joined the dojo and proved to your dad just how “badass” you could be
“take notes everyone, y/n’s gonna be the next all valley champ!” -johnny
taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @retvenkos // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @an4aaa // @summersimmerus // @xoxobabydolls // @sapphireplums // @petersgroupie // @ravenhood2792 // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 // @elemental-of-magic //
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lostgirlmuseum · 11 months
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Who the Hell is Daryl?
Summary: Bucky is in love with you, and finally finds the courage to tell you. But what happens when it sounds like someone else is already in the picture? (Miscommunication!)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Avenger!Reader
Words: 2k
Warnings: Miscommunication trope! Only one small mention of “Y/N”, teensy bit of yelling, let me know if I missed anything.
A/N: Wrote this a couple days ago and put it in drafts, spontaneously posted bc I'm procrastinating on an essay. Okay I'll get back to hw now :(
Dividers: @firefly-graphics
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He was going to do it. He was really going to do it. 
He was finally going to ask you out.
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To the surprise of everyone on the team, you and Bucky had become fast pals after you joined six months ago. Something about the two of you clicked. ‘Opposites attract’ and all that, but Bucky always felt it went deeper than that.
The two of you had never argued, something he felt very proud of, considering he argued with most people. But not you. Never you.
The moment he decided that he needed to man up and ask you out wasn’t anything fancy. You were sparring with Wanda across the gym, and he was simply watching you work in tandem. He watched the entire 15 minute session, and didn’t take his eyes off you, even as you approached him. 
“Buck, I’m out of water, can I take a sip of yours?”
He nodded, “Sure, Doll,” and tossed you his bottle. 
You shot him a charming smile and opened the cap, and not-so-gracefully chugged half the bottle. You wiped your upper lip and handed it back to him. 
“Thanks, Jamie,” you breathily said, and jogged back to the arena. 
His head was completely empty except for a single thought, tumbling through his desert mind like a tumbleweed.
I’m going to marry her someday.
He shocked himself with the thought, he wasn’t sure where it had come from. But he couldn’t help the grin that snuck its way onto his lips as he realized he didn’t disagree with the thought.
Of course before marriage is dating. One step at a time Buck. 
After his realization, he had spent the next three days planning the perfect way to ask you out. He went through an entire list of ideas, but none of them seemed good enough for you. He wanted it to be perfect. But as the clock ticked on and he started running out of paper, he realized it was best to just be honest about his feelings. 
You had just gotten back from a solo mission, and Bucky was hanging out in your room as you showered.
He was blushing like an idiot and fidgeting like crazy on your bed as he waited for you to hurry up. It was surprising he had so much self control as to not blurt it out while you were showering.
“Oh, Bucky,” you called from the bathroom, the sound of the water pausing.
“What’s up?”
“Could you set an alarm on my phone for 7:30 A.M. tomorrow before I forget? I think I left it on the side table.”
“You got it, Doll.”
“You’re the best! I’m almost done, I’ll be out in like two minutes,” you called, and soon after the sound of rushing water resumed.
Bucky grabbed your phone and typed in the passcode, his heart fluttering a little as he thought about how you trusted him enough to know it.
But the flutter stopped almost as quickly as it started, the moment your phone turned on and resumed on your text string with someone. He would’ve ignored it, but a red heart at the top of the screen caught his eye.
Who the hell is “Daryl,” and why does he have a heart emoji next to his name?
Bucky couldn’t help himself as his eyes flitted over your last texts.
Daryl ❤️ I’m back in town, lemme know when you’re around 
You About to leave for a quick mission, but I’ll be back tmw evening. I miss you sm :( how about we meet up Monday morning at 8 at Bernie’s cafe?
Daryl ❤️ Lets do it. And I miss you too, can’t wait to see your beautiful face!! I love you, be careful
You Love you too, and Im always careful 😘
Bucky felt sick to his stomach. You had never mentioned a brother named Daryl, or any other kind of family member. And you’d told him about all your closest friends, and none of them were named Daryl. How did Bucky not know you had a boyfriend?
Bucky fought the urge to scroll up, and quickly tapped out of the app, and set the alarm you asked him to set. 
So you were meeting this “Daryl” tomorrow morning?
Bucky heard the water stop, and the sound of the shower curtain shuffling.
Shit. You were getting out. Fuck, he wasn’t ready to face you.
You’d never mentioned you were in a relationship before. He would remember. How long have you been dating? And more importantly, why did you keep this from him? Did you feel like you couldn’t trust him? Maybe you weren’t as close friends as he’d thought.
“Which movie did you want to watch tonight?” You asked, peeking out of the door with a turquoise towel wrapped around you.
“Um, I’m actually really tired, suddenly. I think I’m going to go to bed.” Bucky stuttered, avoiding your gaze as he quickly stood up.
“Oh, okay,” you responded, disappointment and concern lacing your voice. “Everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. Glad you got back safe. Good night.”
With that, Bucky ducked out of your room and practically ran back to his.
Bucky tossed and turned, and once he got over his embarrassment, he settled into a familiar depressive feeling. Of course you didn’t like him back. What the fuck was he thinking? He’s—well, he’s Bucky. Broken, only destined to ever be your friend. How could he be foolish enough to think you would love him like he loves you. At about hour 4, the heartbreak started turning into betrayal. Betrayal that you kept this from him. And soon enough, that betrayal festered into a kind of resentment, something he’d never felt for you before.
He didn’t get much sleep that night.
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Bucky checked the clock for the 20th time in the past 5 minutes. 7:45 A.M. You were probably about to leave. Bucky felt his heart clench. He was usually up by 7, and eating breakfast in the common area by 7:30. He sat at the barstool, dragging his spoon around his now soggy Coco Puffs, waiting for you to appear. Why he felt the need to torture himself, he didn’t know.
Finally, he heard your steps coming down the hall. 
And there you appeared, wearing the most beautiful sundress he had ever seen. It was lavender, and had small white flowers adorning the skirt, and it fell just above your knees. 
Bucky took you in, and his momentary adoration turned back to his heartbreak. You were dressed up as if you were going on a date. There was no chance this wasn’t your boyfriend.
“Good morning Bucky, did you sleep okay last night?” 
“Yes.” He lied. Maybe you would tell him the truth if he asked. Yes it would hurt hearing the truth from your mouth, but he wanted to give you a chance to tell him your secret. “Where are you headed?”
“To meet a friend,” you nodded smoothly. 
Maybe Bucky was crazy. Maybe he was overthinking all of this. Maybe Daryl really was just a friend.
“Which friend?”
“Penny.”
So you were just flat out lying to him now. Bucky nodded and waited for you to leave before moping back to his room. He wanted to cry. And he did for a minute, or two, but his tears turned from sad to angry when he remembered you were now lying. You never lied to Bucky, and Bucky never lied to you. At least, he thought that was how it was. He clenched his fists, mad at you for betraying him, but more mad at himself for believing he could ever have you.
He didn’t move from his bed.
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“Bucky?” Your voice emerged after three knocks to his door.
He couldn’t get himself to respond. 
The door slowly creaked open, a stream of light flooding his dark room.
“Hey Buck. You okay? You seemed a little off this morning.”
“Fine.” He mumbled, not turning over in bed to face you.
A pause. 
“Jamie, what’s wrong?” You asked, closing the door behind you and flicking on the light. 
“Don’t call me that.”
“What?” You asked, slightly taken aback. You thought he loved your affectionate nickname for him.
“I don’t want you to call me ‘Jamie’ anymore.”
“Okay…”
He felt the bed dip as you sat next to him. 
“Bucky,” you whispered, “please talk to me.”
He sat up and gave you a pointed look. Was he being immature? Yes. But what could he do, he just discovered that his best friend has been lying to him, and doesn’t love him.
“Where were you?” He asked.
You furrowed your brows a moment, trying to piece together where he was going with this. 
“I was at Bernie’s with Penny.”
“Don’t lie to me.” He sneered.
Your eyes widened at his bite.
“I’m not lying? Bucky, what is going on?”
“What’s going on is that you’ve been keeping the fact that you have a boyfriend from me. Why don’t you want to tell me?”
“A boyfriend?” You blinked. “I don’t have a boyfriend,”
“Why won’t you be honest with me?” He yelled, and you scooted back.
“I am!”
“Then who is Daryl?”
“What?”
“I saw your texts last night, when you asked me to set your alarm.” Bucky looked down at his lap, ashamed.
“Bucky,” you sighed, and a look of understanding crossed your face. A moment later you held out your phone to him.
“What?” He asked, dumbly looking at your outstretched hand. The screen was on your text string with Daryl.
“Call the number.” You simply said.
“What?” He repeated.
“Take my phone, and call the number.”
Confused and suspicious, Bucky grabbed your phone and hesitated over the call icon. 
“Go ahead,” you urged.
He pressed the button. 
Ring.
Ring.
Ri—
“Hey!” A familiar feminine voice rang through the speaker. “What’s up hon?”
“Hello?” Bucky said, looking from the phone to you to the phone.
“Uh, hi? Is that Bucky?”
“P—Penny?” He sputtered.
“Hey Bucky! What’s up, is everything okay? I thought Y/N was calling.”
“Hey Pen,” you interjected, “Everything’s fine, I’ll call you back in a bit, kay’?”
“Sure thing, bye, love ya,” Penny added, and hung up.
Bucky stared at the now blank phone, baffled.
“I don’t understand.”
“Bucky,” you sighed, and tilted his chin to look at you. “I don’t have a boyfriend. Penny is in my contacts as “Daryl” because it’s my funny little nickname for her. My Dad has had a best friend since grade school named Daryl, and they don’t see each other often, but when they do it’s like nothing has changed. They get along like no time has passed. I call Penny “my Daryl” because I know that even if we don’t talk for years, we are so close that I know we would be the exact same.”
Bucky sat quietly for a moment, simply taking in your story. He felt really stupid.
“I’m sorry,” he started, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m sorry I called you a liar.” He struggled to meet your gaze, ashamed of what he did.
“Jamie—can I call you Jamie now?”
He nodded sheepishly.
“Jamie, I forgive you. But I wish you had just talked to me about it, and asked me. We are usually so good about being open with each other. What happened?” You asked, wide eyes looking into his.
“I know, I’m sorry. I flipped out, I guess I was just shocked, because I was going to—” he licked his lips, “well, I was…”
“You can tell me, Bucky. Honesty, remember?” You soothed, placing your hand on his leg.
He gulped.
“I was going to ask you to be with me.”
You tilted your head, not quite understanding.
“Like, I was gonna ask if you’d let me be your boyfriend.” He mumbled. “So when I saw that you were texting and saying ‘I love you’ to some guy, I guess I was just blindsided.”
“James,” you smiled, moving yourself to sit on his lap. You brought your forehead against his. “You silly, jealous man.” You gently stroked his cheek with your right hand. “You want to be my boyfriend?"
"It sounds so juvenile, I don't know, I just want you to be mine, and for you to call me 'yours,'" he mumbled.
"I accept," you giggled, and watched his glittering eyes shoot to yours.
He had started to say something, but he stopped when you brought your soft lips to his.
“I'm so happy,” he whispered between kisses.
Suffice it to say, Bucky completed step one of the path to marrying you.
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A/N: Tysm for reading! If you liked it, please feel free to let me know!
Also I'm sorry if the ending sucks, I wrote this in a couple hours and Idk why I'm so bad at endings gahh
Here's my Masterlist if you'd like to read more!
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a66-1 · 4 months
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starving
part 1 | part 2 [you're here!]
Simon x Fem!Insecure!Reader.
finally got the idea for part 2. excited?
me too
TW: Talk of ed's, negative self talk, low self esteem, bad mouthing (from reader to herself, comes with the territory) cursing, self harm. i tried not to be too descriptive with the reader, so EVERY insecure girlie who reads this feels seen.
semi proofread bc who cares
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The next morning was exhausting as the last.
You got up early to go running. If you ever have the chance, you run until the sun comes up. You need to stay fit if you want a boyfriend. It was easier when you were on your meds. Almost like you had the will to live those mornings.
You were back at the house around 8 am. You weren't scheduled for work today so... You headed back to bed and really, just slept the day away
You woke up around 5 pm. 5, really? God, you are just some depressed child.
You got out of bed for the second time, and changed into a dress. It was hard seeing yourself in a dress after 2 years. You stopped going out because alcoholism and anti-depressants aren't really two peas in a pod, are they?
Well this is why you quit. You dropped your therapist and your meds because you were better, and your mom stopped helping with the payments, and now you can go back to partying.
Minus the heavy drinking.
Hopefully.
You tear your eyes off yourself. If you stare too long, you'll end up convincing yourself to stay in bed longer. You configure the rest of your outfit, and grab a small black purse. Throwing your phone in it, you leave the house quicky. If you don't, you might properly convince yourself you're just as ugly as you thought..
The drive to the bar was silent, save from the honking cars around you. Fuck, what if this is the wrong idea? I mean the looks everyone will give you, you look so bad and so ugly and god this was such a bad--
You hear a car honk behind you. The light turned green. You lower your head, sighing, and taking a left.
Once at the bar, you slip into one of the seats nearer the back, feeling uncomfortable in the seat. Adjusting your dress down, you cringe while looking around the bar. There's so many pretty women here, and comparatively you are way under them.
You order a drink, sipping on the alcohol for the first time in months. Fuck, your therapist would be losing it if she knew you not only stopped meds but started drinking again...
You rested your head in your palm, watching others interact. Pretty women just have a way with men, a way you've never had. The buzz of the alcohol was enough to make you not question why nobody has interacted with you, other than the bartender. People probably think your such a loser, I mean, who would just sit here and drink--
"Hey. You're, uh.. That girl from yesterday right?" A gruff voice appears behind you. You flinch forward, whipping your head around.
Oh. This guy.
You slowly put your drink down, your palm over the top of it.
"And who are you?" You ask, eyeing the man. He didn't have his mask on. He was... Really cute.
"A customer." He sat next to me, his eyes trained on mine. I felt sort of flushed under his gaze.
Fuckin' small world.
You spent some of the night talking with him. Still don't know his name, or why you ran into him here, but you don't care nonetheless.
You were looking for sex this night but... Is a connection so bad?
Like you could make a connection with someone who is out of your league.
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thank god i finished this. 3 drafts later, and im sorry its kinda short. trust part 3 is gonna have the good stuff, this is kinda a filler so it can get to the good stuff.
ily babes...
-a661
taglist:
@i-am-hungry-24-7 @arminarlertssword @haven-1307
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villalunae · 1 year
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im in such a utena mood right now i think anthy would not use nuclear war codes if she had them but would instead drop hints of incoming nuclear winter to nanami by messing with the plants in the birdcage and mentioning dead roses are often considered an omen of war (lie) so that nanami attempts to discredit her by looking up omens of war through a book miki lended her and instead finding out that all the crazy shit happening to her in the last few days (kangaroo showing up on campus was actually a political refugee, tsuwabuki prepping her cheat sheet for an upcoming test on the ramificiations of nagasaki and hiroshima, students gathering about television sets that before she can see what terrible news theyre watching someone says "turn something nice on instead!" and she only sees shopping channels marketing items like gas masks, bomb shelters, and canned foods) has actually been subtle hints and omens that they're approaching world war three and nanami ends up going to touga asking if theyre gonna make it and if japan can withstand another genocidal war crime against humanity and touga somehow reads this as her telling him her dream job is to be a stripper and tells her "silly little sister. all women are inferior to men already bc of eve's fatal sin. dont degrade yourself further than you already have" and shes like "what do you mean degrade myself further than i already have" and hes like "dont worry about it youre perfect to me. like a 9.5/10. or an 8/10. maybe a 6. definitely not any lower than a 3" and after hearing that she goes to bed upset and confused because not only is her brother not taking nuclear war seriously he also once again made her feel infantilized and small and then after hearing a loud boom in the distance she thinks nuclear war is starting and starts freaking out and thinks "my brother must have been speaking in a code! he was trying to make me feel nostalgic about my childhood to comfort me before the upcoming attack! now that nuclear war is starting i should take shelter but we dont have a bomb shelter here but ohtori has a bunch of students! it probably does!" running to ohtori and trying to think of the oldest building on campus and goes to utena and anthy's door banging on it in the middle of the night and utena gets up in her jammies like "what?" and nanamis like "QUICK we all have to GET UNDERGROUND wheres your NEAREST BOMB SHELTER" and anthy comes in behind utena like miss nanami what are you talking about? :) and utena is like yeah seriously thats so weird. i guess you can come inside . we couldnt sleep anyway because -- and then nanami sees on the floor of their room a bunch of scattered papers with a big red button in a briefcase and nanami points at anthy and is like "IT WAS YOU THAT LAUNCHED THE NUKE??????" and anthy says "oh this? this button is enrichment for my pet parrot! ive named her nanami. nanami press the button" and nanami the parrot presses the button and theres a loud boom and nanami (not the parrot) is like but what was that?!?! i heard it from my house!!!! and utena is like "oh! you must be talking about the firework display! the button is rigged up to some fireworks we got for the upcoming spring festival and we were actually up late tonight trying to get the display to work! we messed up pretty bad and most of the fireworks went off at once though haha." nanami the parrot keeps pressing the button in the bg and anthy is like "aww i guess that was the last firework left!" and nanami is like b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but what about the kangaroo? and the test on nagasaki and hiroshima?? and the shopping channels advertising gas masks and bomb shelters and canned food??? and utena says "oh the kangaroo was a political refugee from australia its boxing career went down the hill after it killed steve durwin in a freak accident. all schools are doing history tests on world war two this time in the semester!" and anthy says "yes and because theres no clear threat of nuclear winter anymore all the old holdovers from wwii are being sold at discounted prices :)"
as nanami leaves the house feeling much better but also stupider she gets traumatized one last time by another firework going off and utena yells out the window "sorry nanami! guess there was one more loaded in there!" the firework design is chuchus face and he has been mysteriously absent this whole time. we see him in the sex car with that cat thing from madoka driving
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