#and now im trying to tie it back together and i really cannot. good luck.

[joshuaalbert]

another thing I do wish had at least come up in ds9 while talking about the bajoran faith is the idea of just like. secular bajorans. I think the way they’re written that’s kind of ‘everyone just believes in the religion and that’s it’ is honestly a little flat? but I think there would be people who have a very complicated relationship with the prophets, who maybe didn’t believe in them before the events of the show and now maybe they have to but they think of them more as the wormhole aliens rather than gods, or just don’t believe (anymore, if they once did) that they should be worshipped because they allowed the events of the occupation to happen. but that wouldn’t mean entirely disengaging from the practices of religion as a community thing, or as comfort in times of need bc sometimes that sense of ritual can be a good one, who still wear the earring not so much as a sign of faith but just as a sign of being bajoran and being connected to their people.

idk not to sound like I’m overexplaining secular approaches to an ethnoreligion when that’s a lot of people’s lived experience but I’m just kind of thinking about what it would look like in this context, and I don’t know that it ever would have been a whole plotline but I think a mention could have been interesting. maybe something as small as rearranging duty schedules and it’s something that would interfere with religious services, but a couple specific bajorans are willing to take that because they’re not religious, and it’s a one line mention (which is the kind of thing ds9 often did well so it would feel natural), but it makes them a little less homogenous as a species.

[cvnt4him]

Neighbors.

Week 1: new neighbor.

A loud knock at your front door woke you up out of your sleep. You choked on the huge amount of air that invaded your lungs when you inhaled, stumbling on your feet trying to go check the door. Your hair was a mess and you were stressed which is why you simply wanted to sleep your life away.

You open the door and look around to see no one there but a basket present on your door step. You him and pick it up, there were muffins and all kinds of baked goods inside with a little note on top and the cutest bow to tie it all together

Hi! I'm moving in next door and hope we can become good neighbors. #215 izuku midoriya.

For real? My guy couldn't have just spoken to you once he seen you? He had to be a good fucking guy? You sigh and shrug before closing the door and setting the baked goods down on your kitchen counter and heading back to bed, you'll be damned if you were gonna let some shitty neighbor ruin your one off day.

The baked goods had never gotten touched, they just sat as a decorative piece on your kitchen counter. You planned on throwing them out but the little bow was just too cute to give away, how frilly and pink it was. It was like the person who gave it to your knew exactly what you liked.

You sigh looking at them, they hadn't gone bad yet you could eat one if you wanted. You stare at them for a while before realizing, your supposed new neighbor gave you these so how come you've never seen them?

You groan and shake the thought away, you had to head to work and you don't have time to be worrying about some random loser. You grab your jacket before heading out of your house, locking the door behind you. You sigh while clutching your purse on your arm and stuffing your keys inside when you bumped into someone.

"are you fucking kidding me?!"

"oh gosh.. I am so so sorry! are you alright?"

You fell to the ground with a groan barking insults up to the person who had the disrespectful nerve to knock you down. You open your eyes and look up at the strong bulky man in front of you, it was early and the lights outside of your apartment complex were still on so you couldn't exactly see his face. You couldn't exactly tell if his hair was black or not.

He offers you a hand to get up with which you hesitantly take, you just insulted and yelled at this innocent sexy man.. he must hate you! Which is just your luck, a strong sexy man is practically thrown at you by God and you insult him. God you're really good at making people leave.

"I truly am sorry. I should've been watching where i was going."

The man spoke to you again holding your hand in his still as he held perfect eye contact with you, trying to be professional and apologize for his wronging. You couldn't even speak from how beautiful he was now that you could see his face, his freckled chubby cheeks and his worried eyes leering down at you to assure you're alright.

"I.. I.. uhm, yes I am okay, thank you. I'm sorry too, I suppose it's not all your fault i played a part as well huh. Haha..."

You chuckle nervously trying not to embarrass yourself, there was a sexy man in front of you, you seriously cannot blow this. He offers you a light hum with a tilt to his head and a polite smile before speaking.

"I'm your new neighbor! I left you a basket of baked goods from the local bakery about a week ago, sorry I haven't had the time to actually speak to you, im awfully busy!"

Holy hell. He was your new neighbor? The guy who left the basket? Now you have another reason to save and not eat them. You stammer on your words with wide eyes trying to find something good to say as to not embarrass yourself.

"oh that was you? Hah yeah! I devoured those instantly! Thank you so much, you're so sweet! Id love to talk to you more if you'd have me y'know i wouldn't want to like-- bombard you with my presence or anything like you're a god I shouldn't even-- not that i think you're a god-- you know what im just going to stop talking."

You sigh heavily and mumble a low "for fucks sake.." under your breath. Could you be anymore embarrassing? You feel as if you could die from humiliation. The way his eyes widen from the way you ramble on and on about him being a god is so devastatingly humiliating, if the earth were listening you'd ask her to swallow you whole.

The man simply looks at you with a blank expression and wide eyes for a second before giggling above you. Your eyes shoot up to him, had you not just embarrassed yourself? Do you still have a chance?!

"I wouldn't say I'm a god, haha! You definitely aren't the first to say that anyways you have nothing to worry about."

He could tell you felt embarrassed by the way you squeezed your eyes shut and balled your fists, he didn't want you to feel embarrassed over something small! He got compliments of such all the time, some are even worse than that so he considered it high praise anyways.

You two just sat there staring at each other for a minute in your eyes it was the most awkward thing in the world. To him it was just fun between friends, the fact he considered you friends despite meeting this once is wild.

He looked down at you with those melancholy emerald green eyes, you could see the whole world in them. They were so big and bright and held nothing but love and kindness in them.. you would drown in them if given the chance.. the things you'd do to--

"oh! Gosh, I've gotta go! Uhm.. I hope to see you soon?"

"uh, yes! Yes, of course. We'll be seeing each other very soon."

You say confidently before pausing to realize how creepy your sentence sounded. He lifted an eyebrow at your words before brushing it off with a nervous chuckle and a wave goodbye before he jumped away, yellow cape billowing in the wind as he did so. You watched him live with a sigh, he was so hot yet so sweet you couldn't believe this guy was living next to you. Well to be fair these were rather pricey apartments so you could imagine him wanting to be somewhere that's very elegant. Your apartments were pretty beautiful. You sigh and shake everything out of your head and begin heading to work.

You sat at your desk staring out the window. There was nothing to be done at the office today and you were just there mindlessly drifting in a space you didn't want to be in. A knock at your office door took you by surprise, you were startled and whipped your head around to see your supervisor. God you hated this guy, he never knew how to take a hint. He always helplessly flirted and did outdated and annoying pick up lines on you, you didn't want him to feel bad about himself so you always laughed or played like it was good. Unfortunately today you just didn't have it in you to entertain him.

"hey, y/n! How are you today, sweetheart?"

Ugh. What a pig. He could not be serious right now. 'sweetheart' ? disgusting. He was truly working your nerves and he'd hardly even spoken to you. You sigh heavily before fixing your posture and leading your throat.

"I'm here."

"cool cool. So uh, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out for drinks with me and a couple of the guys? Since y'know you helped us back those new investors? You're really great at what you do and you're so smart and--"

He started going on and on and on about how cool and smart and sophisticated you are. It was all bologna, he didn't give a shit about you or how smart you were. He just wanted to get into your pants and it was heavily obvious. So much so that you didn't have time to entertain this type of energy.

"look, I don't think so. Not tonight atleast, I mean I have a thing and--"

"please? You don't want to let me down so you? I'd hate to have to put in a bad word in front of our boss.. so could you just come?? For me?"

This motherfucking cunt. He was really gonna blackmail you into having drinks with a bunch of men who thought you didn't belong there? Just because you were a woman? You could not believe this was the hill you were dying on.

"fine.."

You let out lowly and defeated. You were successfully manipulated by some sleazy putz. You could only pray to God this schmuck keeps his word and doesn't say anything bad about you.

"atta girl."

He says with a smirk before walking off eyeing you through your office window. You were sick to your stomach at the thought of whatever was going on inside of his mind.

You sat between a couple of guys who all laughed loudly and looked at the game, they had a few too many drinks and were pretty drunk. You hated being around this kind of energy, it was uncomfortable but if you were going to run that empire one day you needed to be in with the crowd. You had another swig of your drink and chuckled nervously at the lame joke.

"and then I said; you'd have to let it from my cold dead hands!"

"mmm- couldn't have said it better myself, sir."

You say lowly raising your glass along with the other men at the table. They all laugh and silence then fills the table. You gulp down and look around to see them all looking at you. You felt so uncomfortable and nervous and so out of place. You'd never been this socially awkward in your life.

You couldn't figure out why they'd all looked at you like that. Until you looked down to see one of your buttons on your blouse was unbuttoned it showed the top of your boobs perfectly. You hadn't felt it unbutton so you had no idea that it was. You cleared your throat and covered yourself with your jacket before everyone looked away and fell into weak conversation about whatever came to mind.

Being the only woman sucked. This was your life and you hated it. However this put food on the table and got you away from your family so. If this is what it took you figured you could suffer a little while longer until you took this business off from under them. They were all old and uninformed with the new world we're all coming into, you however were prepared so the second you get these investors to recognize you were the real talent and brains behind this empire they'd hand it right to you. You'll be rich.

"I'm going to head out everyone. Have a goodnight."

You bow before walking out of the bar. You couldn't get out fast enough. You exited the building with a breath of fresh air. Being in there with all of those men was suffocating. You couldn't wait to read in the comfort of your own home.

"wait! Y/n! Where are you going? I thought you were gonna hang out with us?"

"i did. For 3 hours straight. I've had far too many drinks and I feel nauseous and it's raining quite hard. I'd like to go home."

You bowed slightly bidding him a good night one last time before trying to leave. He balled his fists and got rather angry with your words. He grabbed you by your wrists and yanked you into his chest, he held you closely with an angry face. His grip on your body and wrist tightened and you could smell the disgusting scent of the alcohol on his breath. It was nauseating.

"where the hell are you going. I told you to stay. You said you were.. were going to hang out with us. You don't want me to tell the boss about how you've been slacking, do you?"

You were terrified, he was drunk and being very rough with you. His grip continued to tighten around your wrist hurting you, you groan and try to push him away before he punches you. His rings bust your lip. You fall to the ground clutching your face in pain. You didn't want to appear weak.. so why had tears started falling down your face? Why couldn't they stop coming down.

"oh.. sh- shit y/n.. I'm so so sorry I didn't.. didn't mean to do that. You- you made me!"

He spoke trying to justify his actions, slurring on his words and hiccuping in between. You sniffled trying to get up holding onto the wall for a clutch. You could not believe this just happened. You were just assaulted by your supervisor. Someone in much higher power than you. You weren't dumb, you knew and were sure that if you even attempted to tell your boss to find a way to turn it around on you. There were few women working in that business and you were in a higher department than them all. You were just going to have to suck this up and push through it.

The man clears his throat and just looks down at you, he tries to help you up but you refuse. You push his arm away and simply get up on your own. You sniffle before spitting the blood that invaded your mouth onto the ground and walked away. You tried to hurriedly get across the street before the cars started moving again. The man called out for you telling you to wait but was stopped by the cars instantly zooming through the wet street.

You finally made it to your apartment wet, shaking, bleeding and in tears. This was something you never imagined would happen to you. You couldn't believe you'd just been assaulted and there was nothing you could do about it. You were helpless to help yourself. You rummage through your to try and find your keys you end up dropping your bag and breaking down. You fell to your knees and covered your face in your hands everything slipped out of your bag and the fact it fell made you even angrier. It was hard to find your keys and now everything was splayed out on the ground.

You were too busy having a mental breakdown to hear the heavy footsteps thudding behind you.

"y/n... Are you okay?"

You gasped lightly and whipped your head around to see the #1 hero himself. Standing above you before kneeling down to help you gather your things. You just look at him with wide puffy red eyes as he gathers your things and puts it all back into your purse for you. He stands and offers you a hand, you just look at him with a shaky breath before hesitantly taking it. He pulls you up into him and your face came flush with his chest.

You stayed there for a lot longer than intended before pulling back and clearing your throat. You sniffle and wipe your face with your hands before grabbing your back and fetching your keys from the ground. You turn back to him with a half assed smile that he seen right through.

"I'm perfectly fine, deku! Thank you for your concern!"

You say before trying to turn around to unlock your door. Before he grabs you by your shoulders and turns you to face him. He looked so concerned he couldn't help but gaso once he seen your lip.

"what happened to your lip."

"nothing-"

"y/n."

God.. the way he used your name against you was just too much. You didn't know if you wanted to cry or kiss him. You go down before fixing your hair and looking down to the ground.

"got into a fight with my coworker."

"are you sure that's it?"

"yes."

He didn't believe you. He seen right through your bullshit. He was rather stubborn as well he was going to stop pestering until you told him.

"I'm serious, y/n. What happened."

"nothing."

His eyes squinted before he pushed your door open and walked you inside. Was this motherfucker seriously just waltzing inside of your house like he owned the damn place?

"what are you--"

"hush. Where's your first aid kit."

"in the bathroo-- are you seriously about to rummage through my shit!?"

You yell as he walked away the second you got out where the kit was hidden. This guy was. A hero sure but why was he acting like your boyfriend. Or your dad. It was weird. Kinda hot but weird.

He came back with the kit and sat you down in your dining room chair, he set the first aid kit on the table opened it and grabbed what he needed. He had an alcohol wipe and he tly dabbed at you cut lip, you winced and closed your eyes from the slight burn of the cold wipe.

He finished cleaning you up and closed the kit and disposed of what he used.

"there you are, all fixed. Now are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to cook you dinner as well."

Yes please!

"no thank you. I'm fine."

"alrihht so tell me what happened."

"oh no I want I'm fine with not telling you what happened, I'll take the dinner thanks."

You say with a wink that makes a slight blush fall onto his cheeks. He sighs and heads into your kitchen, you chuckle to yourself and watch him go as you see the baked goods he gave you about a week ago. You told him that you are them all! Fuck he's gonna know you lied.

He stopped halfway into your kitchen before slowly turning to face you with a suck to his teeth. He hums and puts his hands. On his hips, fuck he looked so sassy and good like that..

"what happened to eating all of those baked goods?"

"i threw them all up..?"

"uh-huh."

He rolled his eyes with a smirk before opening them and grabbing you a muffin, he felt that you needed to eat and in actuality he was far too tired to cook. He doesn't know why he insisted on cooking for you as if he intended on cooking for himself.

"here. Eat up."

You look at it then up to him, you take it peeling the wrapper off then taking a bite. It was actually pretty good.

"thanks.. but what happened to cooking for me, eh, big boy?"

He gets quite flustered at the name a slight shade of pink dusting his cheeks before he clears his throat.

"just eat the damn muffin."

You chuckle and finish it as he takes your scraps and disposes of them for you. He was quite a gentleman. You didn't expect anything less from a hero after all.

He ended up staying for a little while longer, the two of you trailing off into random things you could talk about. Like jobs and favorite snacks and things you like to do in your free time. Just all sorts of random things. The current topic was what he moved here.

"well.. I just moved agencies and needed to be closer to it. I have a lot of locations but this is the one that needed my attention most and they basically just sent me here. This is only temporary."

Fuck. Temporary? You hadn't wanted this to be temporary you wanted it to last a lifetime. You feel like you know him and he knows you, like you're soulmates. You try not to show how down you are due to what he's just shared to you and respond with a slight hum. He noticed however, he was very good at reading people.

"something wrong?"

"no.. nothing at all."

He hums knowing you're lying. Something tells him that this is going to be your relationship for the rest of the time that he's here. Deku didn't really think when he acted, he grabbed you by chin and craned your face up to look at him. He had a stern face while he leered down at you, his Babyface looking so adorable the way he tried to be serious with you.

You were surprised by this and looked up at him with wide eyes. God he was so attractive and it's like he was so comfortable with you. Or maybe he did this with all of his fans, or people he just knew. Maybe he was a natural flirt, was he flirting? God what's going on.

He could tell you were deep in thought and that bothered him. He intended on making you feel better and yet you still seemed to be down. He didn't know what to do. Yet the only thing you could seem to think about was trying not to kiss him. You felt like you were moving closer to him and you were, he was too deep in his own mind to realize how much closer the two of you were getting.

With no thought in mind you gently grabbed his cheek with your hand and kissed his lips. His eyes widened at what was happening, he was so shocked that you had kissed him but hadn't wanted to pull away. You sighed into the kiss before pulling away, your breath slightly taken away. You kept your eyes closed because you could only imagine the heartbreak you were about to experience. You were sure he was going to let you down gently of course because he's just that kind of guy, but either way heartbreak is heartbreak.

It was silent but only for a moment before he cleared his throat causing you to look up at him and lick your lips before looking away quickly. You sniffle and turn your head to look at the ground biting the inside of your cheek. The silence was unbearable and you felt like killing yourself.

Deku didn't know how to react, he was mostly just speechless he didn't intend to give off that kind of vibe to you.. he just wanted to be a friendly neighbor.

"so uhm I'm gonna head out, if you're sure you're alright?"

He says standing and turning to you before heading towards the door. You were too nervous to speak so you just nodded aggressively before he hummed and walked out closing the door behind himself.

You could not believe you just kissed the number 1 hero.

AN: I feel like this is gonna flop bc it isn't smut n I'm mostly known for that but like I enjoyed making this and can't wait to make a pt2 it might take a while bc well...... Yeah. But uhm. Yeah!

[dracosathenaeum]

OBLIVIATE | D.M.  ABANDONED FIC OUTLINE

Hello~

I’ve had this fic for @fuckingdraco ‘s writing challenge outlined for almost a year now. Half of it is a skeleton; i have some scenes which are fully written out and others which are just first drafts and idea dumps. this is quite literally copied and pasted so good luck if you read it.

I never had the heart to completely delete it but never liked it enough to write it; so here is my 2.2k draft fo what would’ve been a series. 

If anyone decides to read it, be warned, it’s a mess. i just didnt want it to die in my notes so it’s having a life here, in my new section of my masterlist ‘fics that never saw the light of day’.

warnings: memory loss, fight scenes, gore, fighting

//

Being in a secret relationships had its ups and downs

You had to sneak around

But that just made the moments you were together so much more meaningful

You couldn’t brag about him to your friends

But the both of you were quite private people anyways, explaining your absences as studying in odd places

No one ever found out

It was just you and draco

The summer of 5th year was hard as he spent all of it in the south of France with his family

But it made coming back in 6th year so much more exciting

your fingers ached to touch him as you walked past his carriage

It was moments like this that you wish you could openly love him

But when your friends started gossiping about how Harry Potter thought he’d become a death eater, you were suddenly glad you weren’t linked to him publicly

That thought itself set a heavy weight of guilt on you

He came back in 6th year and he had changed

His kisses lost their spark

His eyes lost their light

He’d fuck you rough and hard, almost as if forgetting himself. Before making it up to you in the next instance

Slow love making that made you feel like you had just slept with an entirely different person

You followed him

You supposed you shouldn’t have

But he was skipping meals and you couldn’t exactly talk to his friends when they didn’t know you

You couldn’t confide in your friends as they wouldn’t understand

So you had no other choice

You followed him throughout the nights, and every time you would find him slipping into the room of requirement when he should’ve been slipping into bed with you

Once you had gauged what time he usually went and on what days you yourself went, 10 minutes before he was due

You watch as he fiddles around some ancient looking cupboard and you wonder why you’re jealous of a dead tree taking up dracos time

You watch as he sends things through, until finally it works for him

But its not happiness on his face nor relief

It looks like dread

He doesn’t look like he’s accomplished something, no there was no way

You watch as he takes off his tie, throwing it in the pile of robes and jumper

You watch as he rolled up the sleeves to his arms, the arms that had held you up more times than you could count

And you watch as the dark snaking lines of the dark mark are exposed on your lovers skin

His eyes whip round to see yours, instantly widening in fear

It isn’t until you try to walk towards him and he throws his hands up to stop you do you realise the shattered glass littered around you

He flicks his wand and you walk over, standing in front of him trying to figure out why

“How did you hide it from me for so long.”

“Simple charms, I was hoping you wouldn’t have to find out.”

More dialogue where he explains

“I don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice.”

Draco please

“I can’t, I had to take this on my skin because my father fucked up”

“If I, if I stop now, I cant save my mother”

“Draco please, we can find a way around this”

You kiss him

And it feels like you’ve both gone back to before 6th year

When times were simpler

When he loved you and you loved him and that was it

No other interruptions

“Oblivate”

PART 1

“Y/n?”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Draco Malfoy, we share some classes but we haven’t spoken before.”

“Oh, im sorry, of course. I’m really tired I dont usually forget peoples names I swear. I must’ve been so tired I wandered in, I apologise.”

“It’s okay, the doors over there.” You take that as his polite cue of asking you to leave

He offers a tight smile, one you remember from first year, one you remember seeing across the hall as he’s shut down by Harry Potter

Poor guy must be going through something

“Y/n”

you turn, you dont even hesitate. You dont know what it is but you feel as if you’ve known him all your life

You change and you see a gold ring dangling from a dainty gold chain. You ask your friends if they’ve seen it before

im forgetting so much these days

But you keep it on, it brings you an odd sense of comfort

You keep it tucked beneath your blouse, bringing it to you lips on occasion when youre anxious.

//

He had forgotten about his ring, the very ring you had clasped between your thumb and finger as you worked on your essay. How was he possibly supposed to get it from you

he’s well aware he’s staring but his mind is whirling

He needs that ring

“Draco, isn’t that your ring?”

He should’ve obligated himself, that might’ve been easier

“I’m sure it just looks similar.”

“Draco, we both know that’s the Malfoy famlily crest, I wondered why you stopped wearing it.”

“Wait did she steal it?”

misplaced it

She picked it up

He had to awkwardly walk over to pick it up

“That’s my ring.” You had told him all about how your friends hated him and how you had feigned indifference the entire time

He had to act the part

Youre flustered, eyes flicking between the ring and him, fingers clasping it tighter as if not wanting to let it go

He notices and his heart clenches at the sight

Remembering the night he gave it to you

*flash back*

“I’m so sorry, I must’ve picked it up by accident here.”

“Wait, how do you even know it’s his, prove it Malfoy.”

“My vaults could buy Hogwarts, why would I be stealing gold from a nobody?”

Your cheeks flare up and your friends glare at him but see his side

You struggle to unclasp it, and of course you fucking do because his stupid fucking ass charmed it so only he could take it off

he watches as you struggle with it, turning to a friend to help before you have 6 girls pulling at the very expensive chain on your neck

“For fucks sake youre going to damage it, let me.”

Your breath hitches as his surprisingly warm fingers brush your hair out of the way, fingers working quick to unclasp the necklace, the weight of it leaving your neck and you feel surprisingly empty

“Thank you.”

You watch as he goes, your fingers scratching over your neck, feeling something bubble in your throat

This was pathetic, you were so sad over something that was never yours in the first place

You spend the remainder of the time trying to figure out how you cam to be in possession of it in the first place

//

your name is written in beautiful cursive on a letter that you cannot help but love

You turn it over to see a beautiful wax seal on it, fingers trembling as you break it

The chain is yours.

d.m.

You tilt the envelope over into your hand to feel the familiar weight of the chain in your hand, clasping it around you neck in an instant

You look in the mirror but you dont recognise yourself

Your friends are surprised when you study with them

When you go back to your dorm room at a reasonable time

And you dont have a clue where it is they think you go

But how could you possibly explain to someone what you font remember

The chain is too light around you neck, its just not the same, it feels as if it’s chocking you rather than bringing you comfort

You start digging through your trunk and draws, looking for something to act as a pendant before you finally do.

Hidden at the back of one of your draws you find a little velvet box you dont remember stashing away. But then again, you dont seem to be remembering much these days.

Its a tiny little constellation of stars, charmed to sparkle and you heart wonders why you had never worn it before. It was a simple little charm but once hooked onto the necklace, you look at yourself in the mirror and finally feel as though a little part of you has returned.

PART 2 THE CONSTELLATION IS DRACO

6th and 7th years are a blur

A blur of horror

You dont really understand how life had changed so abruptly

You dont know how you end up fighting in a war at the age of just 18 but here you are

Draco stands with Hogwarts

And then his mother calls

You’ve seen him

Of course you have

You know what he is, know what his parents are

But you also know what he has done to make Hogwarts more bearable for you under the Carrows watch

The small things, diverging attention away from you and your friends

He wasn’t evil and some part of you knew that

You watch as he takes a shuddering breath and starts to walk

You watch as no one stops him

You watch as he loses more of his soul with each step towards mr no-nose

You dont know why you do it

You run

Your friends call your names, teachers joining in

They think youre joining the other side, they think youre fucked in the head, as they had since that incident in 6th year

But no, you were just missing something

you catch up to him pretty quickly, pulling him to a stop

“Ah, another to join my cause. Welcome young lady.”

“You know me. Im missing something but whenever I’m with you, whenever im holding this stupid constellation close to my heart, I feel at ease. Why”

he stares at you incredulously, and why wouldn’t he. Youre in the middle of a battlefield, Harry Potter has just been declared dead and Voldemort is less than a meter away

But you dont feel scared

And you feel stupid for not feeling scared

“It has felt like I dont even know who I am for the past 2 years, what did you do to me?”

You know everyones watching, you can hear the gasps on both sides as they think the worst of him

“I did what was necessary.” That was the first time he had spoken more than 2 words to you since he had gotten his necklace back that day in the library

“Draco, this is no time to be flirting. Come join me, bring her with you if you want.”

He tenses as voldy rests a boney hand on his shoulder, pulling him towards the other side, away from you

“If you won’t be joining us, we will use you an example of what will happen if you dont join us.”

You stare at him unfazed, fear was something you had gotten used to

Your fingers grip your wand in hand, running through all the spell harry had taught you in the da but its not enough

You are no match for voldy as he throws an unforgivable at you

You hear screams around you but all you hear is silence, as if the world had finally gone silent

//

Draco watched as the spell hit you directly in the chest. He had spent 2 years living with his actions all for it to have gone to naught in a single second

He watched as the light from his wand hits you

Before rebounding off you as if it hit a shield

There’s a flash of black and his mother is infront of him, wand out from deflecting the spell from bouncing back and hitting him

“Mother?”

“She’s important to you?”

“She gave him one of the fucking family heirlooms, either she’s important to him or he’s an idiot”

His parents were… bickering in the middle of a battle

voldy recollects himself but before he can talk neville speaks up “I have no idea what’s going on but-”

Draco drowns out the noise as he stares at you on the floor, youre covered in dust and in blood but youre alive

He hears screams as harry rolls from hatreds arms, he hears the cries from death eaters but all can see is you

“We’re switching sides now?”

“I mean he’s fairly distracted, he won’t have time to hunt us down, we owe it to our son.”

Fight scene

You remember everything

Fred Weasley teases the both of you, “we have a war to win, you can fuck later.”

He copy his lazy grin, a grin that lights you up, a grin that reminds you what’s left to fight for

You see the spell before he does

Youre in an arms reach of him but Draco cant reach you in time

You push Fred to the floor, putting yourself in the line of fire by default and draco has to watch you get hit all over again

“We need to talk about what exactly it is ive been wearing around my neck this entire time.”

“I think only my mother can answer that.”

[if you made it this far, send me an ask with the word ‘chicken’ and i’ll send you a cursed photo xx]

[miekasa]

the pre-pancetta snippet: early december, 3 months before the world went to shit

💉levi gets sick [levi grumbles in the background]

it was the pre-pandemic flu season. levi caught it at work and just his luck, it was pretty bad for him. but healthcare is expensive, capitalism sucks, so he wore a mask and still went to work the next day, thinking bedrest during the weekend would be enough. erwin kindly dropped off some sports drinks while hange gave him a new bag of black tea leaves. oc comes home to find him almost asleep at the table while waiting for water to boil for his tea and her senses tingle. she just knows. levi is pretty out of it by then, very pissed, feeling like shit, but still thinking about the slack he has to pick up at work. oc is very concerned because he looks awful. she bugs him and asks him if he’s okay with her checking him up. he is about to tell her to piss off but what the hell, lucky his roomie’s a doctor and he’ll take free healthcare when he can. so he nods once in dramatic brooding levi fashion.

her hands are cool on his forehead and neck, it feels so good, and levi is really trying not to accidentally moan out loud. when she brings out her stethoscope and asks him to take deep breaths, his focus is on her hand absentmindedly rubbing his shoulder [levi thoughts: he’s really out of it if this is all he can focus on]. oc’s brow furrows when she finds out he’s had only one cup of tea for the entire day and only one meal the day before. he says he’s brewing more, but oc is not having it! she heats up some leftover soup she has and makes him eat before handing him a tylenol. levi feels unsteady and weak but he’s trying to keep up the i’m-fine-it’s-just-the-flu facade. oc sees right through it and tails him to his room.

she helps him to bed, all while saying he’ll need meds for the virus and he needs to eat and drink more fluids because he’ll need an IV drip if not. even if it’s just the flu, he got a pretty bad case. levi strips off his shirt before he drops onto his pillows, grumpy and dismissive, telling her to just leave the prescription. he can handle it. oc snorts before leaving him alone (for now)

levi wakes up to rustling sounds and finds oc by his bedside setting up some stuff. his head is pounding, entire body is aching, and his cough is killing his throat. he’s very grumpy and is about to tell oc to just let him be but he gets a coughing fit. oc rubs his back while checking his vitals, her voice soft with worry as she asks him how he is feeling. he says he went to the bathroom but that’s it. he doesn’t see oc frown, but he’s more than annoyed that he is disturbed when she digs him out of the blankets. she helps him sit up, propping him on his pillows, and she makes him eat more soup, drink some tea, and take his meds. his throat is cooling and he realizes belatedly that she made him strong mint tea. he’s just swallowing whatever so he can go back to sleep [levi is trying very hard not to vocalize his disappointment whenever her hands leave him]. oc sighs at the little care her patient has for himself, but she tells him that he needs a drip at this point. she’s not satisfied with how little he’s been eating and drinking. levi is ready to throw hands because he refuses to spend thousands of dollars for 2 hours at the emergency room and get scammed by health insurance just so they can give him IV fluids, but oc surprises him by saying she’s all set up, and if he’s okay with it, she can do it here.

he shrugs and holds out his hand. the skin of her hands are a little rough with a few calluses, her touch so light and sure. the needle pinches but the pain dulls after a few seconds. he watches oc taping up the line and securing his hand to some makeshift splint so it doesn’t move around much. oc hangs up the bottle on the hanger she installed on the wall lamp by his bed before heading out. levi tries to fall back into sleep again. suddenly, he feels a damp cool cloth brush his forehead and his face while another hand runs through his hair gently. he’s groggy and he squirms because what. he hears oc shushing him, saying something about sponge baths for fever, and he’s just so not used to tenderness and care, and she’s sponging down his neck and his chest, running over his arms, turning him on his side gently so she doesn’t jostle him into wakefulness. her hands are firm and gentle as they wipe down his back and it’s cool and soothing and so good over his heated skin. he falls asleep in minutes. this never happens.

he thinks oc drops in once more in the middle of the night because he remembers someone holding him up to take something. when he wakes up the next morning, his fever is gone and he feels like himself again. he sees an empty bottle on his bedside table which means oc must have changed his drip too. the one he’s hooked to is almost gone. he’s in the middle of answering a work email on his phone when oc, already dressed for work, pops in to check on him. she has a tray in hand, looking genuinely relieved and happy that he’s better. his knows his appetite is back because the smell immediately makes his mouth water. he is very hungry after 3 days of soup and tea. she made really good pancakes, fried bacon to a perfect crisp, and the scrambled eggs are savory and creamy. it’s killing him. he can forgive the tea bag from a packet. levi is still a tea snob. oc is cheery, chirping that he’s good to go without a drip as long as he keeps up his food and fluids.

oc: water, tea, or pocari sweat, levi! none of the sugary sports drinks erwin left you, that stuff is a scam.

levi: i don’t have pocari—

oc: i bought you some, they’re in the drinks cupboard!

levi: why—

oc: it’s not just sugar, it has the electrolytes you need!!

she unhooks the IV and takes out his line, lays out his medication regimen and tells him to please call her if he starts feeling bad again. levi rolls his eyes and bats her concern away, grumbling that he’s fine and well enough, but he’s listening to every word she says. he utters a small thank you because how on earth does he convey his immense gratitude in words, he is not used to words!!! his cheeks feel very warm. oc giggles and ruffles his hair. she understands her roomie’s not talkative, but his soft gaze betrays everything beneath his gruff exterior. his shyness is adorable even if he was a grumpy old man while sick. oc thinks that her theory of him being 89 years old deep inside might be right after all. she sternly tells him to rest and lay off strenuous activities until he’s really recovered.

oc: rest. no cleaning today.

levi: my room—

oc: no. cleaning. today.

and just like that, she’s off to work [levi thoughts: wtf she works on sundays?]. all that levi can think of for three days, or more like since that day, are her gentle, comforting touches, her kind smiles, and how pretty she is. he tries, he really tries to push back the thoughts and bury the memories, but all efforts become in vain for him the next week.

he’s reading on the couch and relaxing for the night when oc comes out of her room looking like a fucking goddess. she’s in a deep green dress of flowing silk with thigh-high slit, sporting a dark, vibrant red lip, complaining of some recognition ceremony she has to attend for one of her bosses at work. she pouts while slipping on pumps that make her legs look even more stunning. levi is aware that he is staring and has tuned out her voice, so he forces himself out of it. he remembers basic conversation etiquette and lamely asks about the party. oc says it’s a black-tie-long-gown thing that’s a waste of her time. she twists her hair up in a messy bun and puts on earrings, grumbling that this is the most formal she’ll go. levi is mildly amused when she says she’ll nick a bottle of good champagne and some desserts before she escapes the party in an hour. tops.

levi: what if you get caught?

oc: they can spare one bottle and a few cupcakes

levi: and what reason have you come up with if they start interrogating you?

oc: my roommate is sad and a stress-eat is essential after shitty weeks of being underpaid laborers *cheeky smile*

he rolls his eyes. when she steps out their door (her uber’s there), levi counts to ten before groaning very loudly to let his frustrations out.

but she really did steal and bring home the good stuff, squealing in excitement when she sees that he was still up. he actually waited for her to get home but she doesn’t need to know that. they shared fruit tarts and fancy mini-cakes and worked through the bottle of champagne while bonding over their mutual disdain for assholes at work. conversation was open and easy, and levi cannot remember when he has been this comfortable around others who weren’t old friends of his. he was in an old shirt and jogger shorts. oc was still in her dress, barefoot, lipstick still perfect and bun still messy, picking a strawberry off the last cake while laughing at his dry jab about her boss. and jesus christ, she was exquisite.

at this point, denial begins to trickle in, but levi doesn’t know that yet. it’s just the champagne, right?

end. this was so mf long, i’m so sorry 😭 anyway this is insanely self-indulgent, and this is me coping with the pandemic (and with SnK ending today)

AHHHHHHH I LOVE ALL OF THIS ANON!!! SO MUCH!!!! PLEASE THIS HIT ALL THE MARKS!! Levi being reluctant to having someone take care of him, oc picking up on him not feeling well even though he’s not really showing it, and eventually just giving him the care and attention he needs (without suffocating him because you know he would be grumpy about that). I love this wow, seriously. 

AND THE END!! When they’re drinking together and he’s feeling better, you know damn well he didn’t even want her to leave in the first place, and IM SO GLAD HE’S FINALLY REALIZING!! Levi, my beloved, you are in love it is not the champagne 😌😌

[nejiraez]

boy, interrupted | bakugou katsuki

summary: bakugou manages to sneak his s/o away for some alone time. however, the universe thinks otherwise thus leading to a series of unfortunate events where he gets interrupted every. damn. time. you take it with a grain of salt, but bakugou is less than pleased~

warnings: GETS A BIT SUGGESTIVE. BLOCK THE TAG (just in case): ns//fw, even though it isn’t heavily used here, its to be safe 

since im currently 18, CHARACTERS ARE 18/IN CLASS 3A

tags: @lleggs because that ASK sent back in dec was the spark of this just put a bt of a twist~ and @charvaughn-writes (because i remember you commenting to tag u if it was written!)  

Bakugou liked being close to you. Emotionally, intellectually, all that. 

But most of all, he enjoyed being physically close to and with you.

Whether it’d be through the form of hands brushing together, hugs, kisses or sleeping together, he gradually began to be more willing to sharing his affections with you.

All sat well with him as long as it wasn’t obnoxious forms of PDA.

This was why the two of you were currently locked away in his room engaging in a make-out session which all stemmed from when he was supposed to help you with your final project in your third year.

You were straddled on your boyfriend’s lap as you let him take the lead and pace of things. Wanting to go further, he glides a hand underneath your shirt, rubbing small circles on your sides. His fingertips skate across your skin, causing goosebumps to rise on the surface. 

Yet, something pulls you away much to his dismay.

A knock at the door.

You make a move to pry yourself off from the male, however, he encircles his arms around your waist and keeps a tight hold.

Katsuki shakes his head, his eyes were half-lidded with grave desire. “Come back here,” he murmurs as he draws your face back to him again. He slips himself back into your mouth and proceeds to kiss you again.

He had hoped that the longer he ignored the knocking, the person would catch the hint and go away. But of course, luck doesn’t seem to be on his side.

Bakugou pulls away from your lips and glares at the door from over your shoulder. “For fuck's sake,” he curses, he was beginning to grow impatient each time the sound resonated throughout the room.

Bakugou growls in agitation at the fact that he now would have to leave his spot on the bed to go answer the door for the dumbass on the other side.

He lifts your hips off his and hisses at the lost contact. He spares you one last kiss to your jaw before he hoists himself off the mattress and stalks towards the door where the knocking was still persistent.

“What the fuck do you want??” He asks, barely opening the door for Kaminari to peer into his dimly lit room. He left it ajar to the point where the electric blond was only able to see Katsuki’s harsh vermillion eyes glaring back at him.

“Hey! I was wondering if I could borrow your notes for next week’s test...” He began, but his brows scrunch in confusion once he digests the sour expression on his friend’s face. “But you seem to be... um... busy?”

Katsuki’s eyes squint in scrutiny as he watches uncertainty wash over the male’s face. “What do you think,” he slightly cracks the door for him to peer in.

“Oh...” Kaminari says, slowly putting two and two together as his golden eyes dart from you seated on Katsuki’s bed to his friend’s dishevelled hair, light bruises scattered on his neck and the sweats which hung dangerously low on his hips. “OHH! Well, shit!”

“Yeah.”

Kaminari’s cheeks flush an embarrassed red as he reaches a hand towards the back of his neck to sheepishly rub at it. “Didn’t know, dude. You uh... keep doing what you’re doing - !”

“Shut the fuck up,” Bakugou mutters under his breath at his friend’s lack of self-awareness. He clicks his tongue in annoyance and reaches for his door handle to shut him out.

“Get. Lost.” And with that, he forcefully slams the door closed in his face. This effectively sent the message through that his presence was definitely not needed, nor was it welcomed.

Maybe it was luck but the majority of class 3-A went out for the weekend doing God knows what. 

Bakugou could care less as to what they did. 

Ever since that idiot, Kaminari, barged into his dorm and managed to absolutely take the mood that was set and shoot a bullet through it, Bakugou figured that he’d be more careful this time around.

Where it would be just you and him. No fuck ass idiots coming in to ask for his notes or inviting you out. 

Which was why you two were finally able to go farther than what was achieved last time. 

“Can I-” Bakugou pauses and stabilizes himself by propping one of his hands next to your head. You can see the slight tremors in his body as he tried to concentrate on the task at hand. “Can I move now?” He asked, to which you nodded your head giving him the green light.

“(Y/N),” he groaned, drawling out the last syllable of your name. He leans down and you feel one of his hands slide up from your waist and towards your back so that he may draw you closer. “You feel good.”

From the neck up you grew warm out how open your boyfriend was being with you right now. “That’s... that’s lewd, Katsuki...” 

“I- fuck-” He gasps as he buries his face into your neck. You began to notice his tone of voice has changed, for it was more hitched and whinier. As if he needed release.  

Katsuki’s breaths were beginning to grow more shallowed each time he entered you. “You’re really tight, (Y/N).”

That sentence alone caused you to break out into an embarrassed cold sweat. For him to be so open wasn’t out of the ordinary, especially when he got worked up like that.

You opened your mouth to respond, however, three sturdy knocks on your boyfriend’s door drew you away from what you were going to say.

You repeatedly pat your boyfriend’s shoulder trying to garner his gaze towards his doorway, “K-Katsuki - !”

“Yeah, I know. I’m... I’m close too,” he pants, brushing your concern off for something else. For he was too lost in the moment and focused on the task at hand to pay attention to what was going on around him.

“No, Katsuki! I mean the door-”

And on cue the door swung open, allowing light from the hallway to spill into his room. This was all followed by the familiar voice Katsuki knew all too well. Kirishima. “Oi, Bakubro! You left your phone on the - !” 

“Getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout. GET. OUT!” Bakugou snapped, rapidly pulling his sweats back up to his hips and threw the sheets over your head to prevent you from being exposed.

He pushed the stunned redhead out from his room and into the hallway. With the door closed, he glares at his friend who still had that same dumb expression on his face. 

Kirishima watches in complete shock and slight regret at how his buddy’s face bloomed a striking pink at the fact of being walked in on.

“What in the absolute fuck makes you think it’s okay for you to barge into my room?” Bakugou hisses. He began to tug and tie the strings of his sweats, tightening their hold on his waist.

Bakugou was livid. To be interrupted not once, but twice within the interval of 72 hours had him on edge. It was as if the universe was fucking with him.

“Well,” Kirishima swallows down the lump in his throat as he got up from his ass. Being trapped under Bakuou’s fiery gaze made him weary with what he would say next. “Your phone kept ringing out in the open and I know how you don’t like having your things messed with...”

“So you hear two people fucking and you don’t have the decency to, oh I don’t know... Leave?!!”

“I didn’t even know!”

“Bullshit!” Bakugou growls as he lunges at his best friend, who let out a pathetic scream in return. Kirishima successfully dodges his sudden attack and sprints down the hall towards the elevators.

Bakugou though, lost his interest and merely watches as he makes his sweet escape. “Idiot,” he grunts, turning his heel to head back into his room.

I’m friends with dumbasses, I swear. He had thought all while brutally slamming his door shut again for the second time that week. 

A week has passed since the two incidents have occurred. Katsuki’s classmates in 3-A were able to note an alarming change in his behaviour. For he was more irritable and his responses were snappier than usual.

And rightfully so.

“Good morning Bakugou!” Kaminari greeted, waving at his friend who sat hunched over the kitchen counter on one of the leather barstools.

Katsuki briefly glanced up from his phone at the beckon of his name. A sharp eyebrow twitched in agitation and his jaw was clenched once he sees them approaching. 

“‘Good morning Baku-’ shut the fuck up.” He mimicked before he hopped out from his seat and exited the kitchen. Clearly not wanting anything to do with his two perpetrators that have been interrupting his sessions with you.

“What’s gotten into him?” Mina questioned, watching their friend stomp out of the room, hands shoved harshly into his pockets as he muttered profanities under his breath.

“These two,” Sero begins, pointing between a flustered Kirishima and Kaminari, “have been cockblocking him this past week.”

“Unintentionally! Don’t forget ‘unintentionally’!” Kirishima added, burying his face into his hands to hide the red on his cheeks. “I never want to walk in on him like that ever again.”

Thus, the unspoken rule between the class was formed.

If you cannot find Bakugou Katsuki in the common space, kitchen area, or wherever, please, for the love of God do not go looking for him. 

Or one will either walk into a scene they wish they hadn’t or they’d face Bakugou’s intimidating presence for the rest of the week.

[pbandjesse]

It was my first day back at the museum!! I was so nervous but it went great. I wish I had accomplished some more stuff today but like. I worked a whole shift and I had a great time.

I slept okay last night. My whistling was very bad. But I slept okay. Waking up sort of sucked but it was okay. I was in a good mood. I loved my outfit. I matched my mask to my dress. I felt great. But I was still very nervous and then my boots wouldn't go on and James tried to help me but made it worse and I got very upset but I knew that was stupid and I hate when I do that.

James got my bike ready and walked me outside. Some of our neighbors were there and wished me luck. I believe Kim left for her long trip today. I am sad I didn't give her a goodbye hug but I was very distracted. And also just super anxious.

But I was off. I loved biking. I had to stop pretty quick to tie my bag off because I am always afraid someone will grab it from my basket. But once I fixed that concern I was off and I had a great ride with great music.

I was nervous about being late but it was fine. I got to the museum and was so happy to be there. Meahgan was there and gave me a big hug. And Becca was there! And Jack and John and Estelle. And Jessica is super pregnant!! It was all so exciting.

I was very nervous so I went and walked around the tour route to try to jog my memory. I was convinced I was going to completely blank. But of course I didn't and it was great.

The first program I had was the sewing program, Needles, with Estelle. And she's lovely and I worked on pretreading the needles while she set up the rest. And once the kids got there it was honestly totally fine. I had a blast.

The sewing went pretty well. They all worked well together and it was a great discussion. And then it was tour time. The part I was dreading. But it honestly went so good. I for sure stumbled but it was mostly because I had a child who interrupted a lot. But besides that I really leaned in and it was so fun. I told more jokes then normal and asked more questions but it was like. Perfect. I was so happy with it at the end.

They had lunch next. I went to the breakroom and enjoyed the food I brought and the conversations with my coworkers. It was interesting to talk about when the last time we were there. How we remember it went. All the weird stuff like that. But honestly I think we are all just excited to have a little bit of normal again.

We had the cannery program next and that wasn't scary at all. Exept I forgot I had to do the company store and my timing was way off for some reason and I cannot figure out what I did beyond talking to fast. Honestly that's probably it because I wasn't ready for it. But the actual cannery program part went great. I had them make cans and it was good.

And then they were gone. I put on my headphones and went to sit in the cannery and glue oysters and cans. Just that constant hand work. It was good.

Becca asked me to come help clean the print machines. And then Meahgan, Esstelle, and me sat together and worked. Esstelle cut her hand on an oyster. It was a whole thing. But it got cleaned up and she was okay. It was nice just sitting and talking and I am so exited to be back to work.

And then it was time to go. I thought about going to get lunch or go somewhere. But I wanted to go home. Get a feel for how long it takes me to go up hill. It takes me about 25 minutes to bike to work and about 40 to bike home with breaks. I hope it gets faster but it was the first time I have biked in a while so Im not shocked.

The hills are rough though. I took the bike path the whole way to avoid traffic but it makes me very dizzy.

And once I was home I locked my bike outside (James would bring it in later) and went up. And then I felt very bad!! I was super hot and shaky. James, the doll that they are, were in the middle of making me a quesadilla. Love them so much.

I would have my food and try to calm down but I was just this close to falling asleep. I changed and then realized I wasn't wearing my engagement ring?? Couldnt find it anywhere. Panicked. Knew I had it when I got home because I had washed my ahds because I got bike dirty on them and was glad I didn't get it on my ring. But I couldn't find it. Worked myself up really bad. But it was just in my dress pocket?? I was all upset though so I went to lay down in the studio. And at some point fell asleep until 6.

Oops.

I woke up and styled two people. I should have done more but I was just not feeling it. I laid with sweetP for a minute before I put shoes on and went to walgreens.

I thought maybe those breathright strips would help my whistling and so far I think I am right! I am breathing almost normal!! Its not the most comfortable and Im worried the tape is going to give me a rash (I did get the sensitive skin on but still, plastic bandaids give me rashes) but I am breathing!

I also got a bone crab. I love the stupid bone animals so much. And Ive seen so many good ones this year. But bone crab is just. So good.

I came home and James was still working. I had a yogurt and have been hanging out since. I took a shower. Put on a hoodie. Im in bed enjoying the breeze now. I am in a good mood.

Im at the museum all day tomorrow. Giving tours. With Gaby! Im excited to see her. My plan is to bring the laptop and styling the people I have and bring a book. But I hope to give a few tours. Well see if anyone comes.

I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well my friends.

[yakocchi]

The Bewitching Full Moon // Count

smh they’re never gonna release points-based event cards ever again are they guess I gotta make my own 5-min headers

This event is another one of those “His POV” events. I guess the reception on those has been very positive (which, good, bc I like them too) so they’re pushing them out more and more. They’ve also been pushing the envelope on these ooh lala so sexi ma gah stories with these scandalous avatars. yea sexy ok w/e but are they fashionable? idk abt that one chief... and according to the twitter surveys the community has been comparatively lukewarm too. I mean if they’re gonna make event avatars harder to get why are they getting uglier man

also holy crap the resulting doc for this thing got really long i hope tumblr doesn’t destroy me copypasta

edit: here comes me “slept on it” day after edit, fixed formatting issues and grammar errors that stuck out. if it made it even worse imma cry-

Spoilers under the cut! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*) image-heavy!

Under the full moon, which shimmered with an ominous violet light - a single stagecoach wheeled through the city. (I wonder how many times it has been where I’ve left the manse like this with her.) I sneak a glance to my side, and gaze at Kara’s dress-clad form. (Dress, shoes, gloves, necklace, hair ornaments...) (I give you every single object, article to wear - and with that you are dyed in my color.) (I experienced that joy even before, but...) Now that we have become lovers, that joy is becoming more and more difficult to come by. (Whenever I look at you, there is this emotion - one that is difficult to put into words - that surges within me.) (Frankly, I try my best to simply suppress it.) (...Well, there is particularly something that is too much to entirely subdue.) I recall that sweet sensation of the very moment where I get to strip off the dress I give her– While deep in my thoughts, a smile cracks my features.

count: the joy from dressing her up is becoming rarer me: ? o whys that count: bc the horny supersedes it me: sir

[Kara]: “Count?” (Oops- if she learned of the things like the carnal passions I bear, she would surely grow disillusioned with me.) [Count]: “It’s nothing. You are just so stunning that a smile eased onto my face.” [Kara]: “D-Don’t play around, please…” As if to hide her face, she lightly puts her hands on her cheeks. She takes small breaths, apparently to temper her heart, before looking up again.

[Kara]: “Um… Tonight’s banquet is opening quite late, isn’t it?” The typical banquet opens its curtains at approximately sunset, where the usual routine is to have dinner together before taking pleasure in dancing and chitchat. However, the time now is already past 10. (Will this be your first time going to this type of evening gathering?) [Count]: “There are nobles who grow tired of the same old pattern of the typical party.” [Count]: “So occasionally, evening parties with fascinating themes appear.” [Kara]: “Fascinating themes’?” [Count]: “Costume parties, calling on an acrobat…” [Count]: “Which reminds me of this one gathering where all the lights of the mansion were to be off. It was quite the fascinating party, yes.” [Count]: “Well, now I’m wondering what tonight’s party will be like.” [Kara]: “Hehe, I’m looking forward to it.” (Whenever you so innocently accept the circumstances at hand like this– because it’s you, I get worried. But...)

With a hand I quietly turn her waist towards me, and bring my lips to her ear. [Count]: “I don’t mind if you enjoy yourself, but I would like if you could firmly avoid being careless.” [Count]: “As in these kinds of parties, the dangers lie hidden.” [Kara]: “What do you mean by ‘dangers’…?” She quietly stares at me, visibly failing to catch the meaning behind my words. [Count]: “In a space separated from everyday life, reason easily crumbles away.” [Count]: “And when instinct conquers reason, the floor changes into a hunting ground for love.” I smoothly stroke her back and hug her waist. [Kara]: “Coun-…“ [Count]: “I do not have even the slightest intention to present my adorable lover to such wolves.”

[Count]: “Because you only belong to me, after all.” [Kara]: “—Nn,” I wrap my arm around her body that had slightly jumped, and as if to engrave my touch I press my lips against hers. [Count]: “…So that you will absolutely not separate from me. Understood?” [Kara]: “…Under, stood…” [Count]: “—Good girl.” I narrow my eyes in satisfaction at her answer, and intertwine our hands against my knee.

(Back before we became lovers, I feel that I still had my wits about me.) (So it was quite unexpected of me to become brimming with emotion like this from simply spending time after time together.) (But, tonight… it has become more difficult than usual to tie down…) I shift my gaze to the window, and the moon that floats in the sky above radiates this violet. (—It couldn’t be… Well.)

When we step inside the noble’s mansion, a different world stretched before us. The saloon was colored a brilliant red, and several tables had been arranged in a line where aristocrats entertained themselves with card games and roulette.

[Count]: “So you’re surprised by the casino.” [Kara]: “Wow… I’ve seen Arthur and the others play these sort of games, but this is the first time I’ve ever set foot in a place like this.” [Kara]: “So there can even be things like casinos in the parties of nobles, huh?” [Count]: “In the beginning, gambling was an activity popular within the elite. So it has been as much as a long time for me too.”

“get it cuz im old as fuuuu”

Her eyes swelled of fresh expectations as she looks around the saloon. (We came here to enjoy ourselves, so yes, I would like you to have fun. To be honest, I would rather not teach you how to play the more dubious games, but…) (If it’s just something like cards, there shouldn’t be a problem.) While I survey the surroundings, right in the direction of the bar counter a voice calls out to me.

[Baron]: “Ah, the Count. It has been a while.” [Baroness]: “After this we’re playing a bit of poker, but would you like to join us?” I turn my eyes to see a baron who I was acquainted with and his wife beckoning me over. [Count]: “Kara, would you like to try?” [Kara]: “I only know the very basic rules, but I’ll try.” [Count]: “I’ll teach you, then.”

[Count]: “…And with that, I have shown you more or less the fundamental rules– but is there anything else that you may be confused about?” [Kara]: “I think I’ll be okay from here…!” [Count]: “Then, let’s put it into practice.” [Kara]: “Please go easy on me.” [Baron]: “Well, young miss, when it comes to winning or losing there’s no such thing as leniency.” [Baroness]: “Oh, you! You shouldn’t scare such an adorable little lady like that.” During our pleasant chatter, the cards are dealt before the four of us and we each check our individual hands. (A King, another King, a Three, a Seven, and a Jack… With only these, I can form One Pair with my Kings. A rather mediocre hand.) (Or, I could discard the other three cards and aim for a Three of a Kind?) (Well then. And Kara…?) While maintaining a poker face, I slide a glance and— [Kara]: “…” Within the tension her cheeks were slightly flushed red, and her mouth was shaped into a faint smile. (It appears that good cards have come to her.) (…But I probably should have also taught her the techniques of forming a poker face.) Though subtly smiling bitterly, I pleasantly watched my beloved to whom I shall compete with in her first poker game – She was fixated on the five cards in her hand before suddenly lifting her eyes. The moment our eyes met…—

(Huh…?) Almost in slow motion, my fingers move… [Count]: “—kgh,”

My fingers pick out the two Kings from my hand and throw them into the muck without a moment's hesitation. (Why, am I acting like…) (For a moment, it was almost as if someone had taken over my body—) Akin to a marionette, my actions had disregarded my own will. In my centuries of living, it was the first time I had ever experienced anything like that. (Just what on Earth was…) 

[Baroness]: “My, it’s rare for the Count to lose his poker face like that.” [Count]: “Perhaps it’s also all just an act?” [Baron]: “As you’d expect from the Count, you can’t underestimate him.” While playfully exchanging banter, my consciousness was once more preoccupied with some thorough reflection. What rose from my mind was the suspicious moon that had risen in the sky. (—The “purple moon”.) Much like tonight - once every several centuries, there is a night where moon gives off a violet light. (That moonlight sharpens the vampiric senses, and additionally…) (On the night of the shining purple moon, vampires cannot oppose their loved ones.) As for my loved ones, it is undeniably Kara. (In other words, tonight my body is – controlled by Kara.)

If this is the case, then it would explain the cryptic behavior from just a minute ago. (If I cannot go against her wishes…) (Right when I met her eyes, it is highly probable that she had wished to beat me.) I turn over the new cards that were dealt to me in exchange for my discarded ones. (An Eight, and a King.) (If I hadn’t thrown away those Kings, I would have formed a Three of a Kind...)

[Count]: “…It appears I’m out of luck.” I line up my random assortment of cards by suit and place them down on the table. [Baroness]: “Hehe, I have One Pair.” [Baron]: “I also have One Pair.” [Kara]: “I have a Three of a Kind.” She breaks into a cheerful smile and reveals her hand. [Count]: “It seems that Lady Luck is smiling upon you.” [Kara]: “Hehe… it seems like it.” From that carefree smile, a sweet feeling spreads within the depths of my heart.  (The real thrill of poker is supposed to be the psychological warfare, but) (When you are so innocently delighted I seem to forget all about that.) (This is not entirely the way I would have wanted it, but I got to see something lovely.)

And so, as the game continued— …In the end, I was unable to outplay her. [Baron]: “It surprised me to see the Count so clumsy at poker.” [Baron]: “Are you up for another round?” [Count]: “Please forgive me, but I cannot afford to display such an unsightly side of myself in front of my beloved anymore.” [Baroness]: “Miss Kara, I had fun with you tonight.” [Kara]: “Me too. Thank you for inviting me to play.” We leave the table, and I call on a waiter dressed in black to halt for me. [Count]: “May I have two glasses of champagne?” Receiving the pair of flutes, I hold out one of them to Kara. [Count]: “For your victory.”

[Count]: “So, for the occasion, shall we have a toast somewhere?” [Kara]: “Yes, of course… Um, where are we going?” [Count]: “How about someplace like the balcony?” [Count]: “With your first poker victory, it is a special night.” [Count]: “I want to have a quiet toast between just the two of us.” [Kara]: “O-Okay…”

Between the two of them, the honey-colored champagne sways in the glasses as if to mark the beginning of a sweet night…

Clinking our glasses, the champagne bubbles rise to the surface. [Count]: “Congratulations. Even to the end, I just couldn’t beat you.”

or rather “Congratulations - For I couldn’t win (over you) even at the end.” but that sounds kind of shady hm

[Kara]: “Thank you, but I definitely just got lucky there.” [Kara]: “I guess there really is such a thing as beginner’s luck, huh.” [Count]: “You say that, but you still seem rather happy about it?” I set my glass down and stroke her grinning cheeks with my fingertips to poke fun at them. [Count]: “Are you really that pleased about besting me?” [Kara]: “This is the first time I’ve ever won against the Count with something, so naturally I’m happy about it…”

lol i know they mean by “winning” in the general sense but i like to think they’ve played several types of games together and he just never lets her win

(You are truly not wearing a poker face of any kind right now.) (Even when you do try to hide it, it’s clearly apparent when you are thinking about something else.) [Count]: “But that’s not all, is it?” (I know that you wanted to beat me because the light of the purple moon had affected my body to do so.) (You so deeply wanted, from the bottom of your heart, to win - so I want to know the real reason behind it.) [Count]: “Come, truthfully confess to me.” [Kara]: “I can’t let anything slip past you, it seems…”

She’s at a bit of a loss for words before slowly looking up at me to possibly gauge my expression. [Kara]: “The truth is… back from when you kissed me in the carriage, I had been thinking about it.” [Count]: “That you wanted to beat me in something?” [Kara]: “Yes. At the time, while I was trying my hardest to calm my heartbeat…” [Kara]: “You, however, maintained your composed, collected face, right?” [Kara]: “That moment today wasn’t the only time it’s been like that; ever since we’ve become lovers, it has happened so many times that it’s impossible to count…” She tightly bites her lip. [Kara]: “I just can’t compete with someone like you.” [Kara]: “But then I thought with something like poker, I could perhaps win with luck on my side.”

[Kara]: “Since I’ve always been the one being toyed with…” [Kara]: “Tonight, I thought… that I wanted to see the Count’s– see Abel’s, restless face…”

At that moment, I realized the consequences I had wrought from my prying – but it was already too late. The instant she shot through me with those eyes blurred with shyness, I could hear the sound of my reason shattering into pieces…

[Count]: “kgh—” (—I cannot fight it.) (Kara, I want to… No, I need – to take you.)

So I changed this entirely bc there’s no English equivalent. The original line can be literally translated as “Kara, I want to take you… no, take you.” What he does is change the pronoun he uses for “you” (kimi → omae) to signal the change in the level of intimacy. With most people (mansion residents, people in general) the Count uses “kimi”. Though with those who know him at a closer level, like Leonardo and Vlad, he uses “omae”. (Mostly) men are only really supposed to use “omae” with people they’re close to or it comes off as rude. This is significant with the Count and MC’s relationship because he begins to refer to her as “omae” when they’re alone together (and thus wants to make a point about how personal it is) once they reciprocate their feelings in Chapter… 24(?). The writers are more than aware of this, because all of the Count’s His POV stories in his route are titled 「君○○」 “kimi ____” but the His POV titles for the Endings use “omae”.

[Kara]: “—gh, Abel…” When I strongly embrace her, from the corner of my eye I catch sight of the moon in its sheen of purple light. Paired with this boiling sensation in my blood, I once again realize the meaning of my existence. [Count]: “…As you desire, I shall become just a man for you.” [Kara]: “A, bel…? —Mn, nn…” I steal her lips, as if to take away all of her warmth. (Just simple touches are not enough.) I draw her head closer and entangle our tongues to steal those lips even deeper. (What’s this - it’s sweet… from the scent, the touch, and the taste…) However, my hunger was not sated even by this kiss. (More - I want to taste you, more…) I pull her waist towards me and capture her tongue that had attempted to escape in a fluster. Dominated by instinct, like a starved beast I devour her lips.

(…Seeking her in this way, in an unknown place where someone could come, what in God’s name is wrong with me?) The remains of my reason murmur from the edge of my mind. But, contrary to those feelings, there was a certain kind of a pleasure intoxicating my heart. (The sense of my reason being thrown aside… is this sweet, hm…?) My fingertips, in their longing for her, slowly ride up the hem of her dress.

sir this is a community balcony i’m gonna need you to take yourself out

[Kara]: “Ngh… A, bel…”

[Count]: “Whether to accept or refuse me, is up to you.”

PREMIUM ENDING

The “purple moon” sharpens the vampire’s senses, and additionally– a vampire’s body that basks in its moonlight shall be dominated by their loved ones. [Kara]: “Since I’m always the only one being toyed with…” [Kara]: “Tonight, I thought… that I wanted to see the Count’s– see Abel’s, restless face…” —A loved one’s wishes, for tonight, can be granted under this moon that emits this mysterious light. My fingertips, in their longing for her, slowly ride up the hem of her dress. [Kara]: “Ngh… A, bel…” [Count]: “Whether to accept or refuse me, is up to you.”

Releasing her lips from our deep kiss, I securely hug her from behind and place her hands against the balcony. [Kara]: “Abel, what are…?” The eyes that look over the shoulder quiver in confusion. (Right now, as instinct overwhelms me... I want to take you.) [Count]: “Show me that disheveled form of yours some more.” A hand glides upwards to approach her chest, and wraps around her breast through the silk of the fabric. [Kara]: “Nnn… Abel,” [Count]: “It’s all right. I shall hide you in a way that no else can see.” [Count]: “Even for myself, I do not intend to show that sweet expression of yours to other men.” [Kara]: “That’s not the…” Her eyes were widened, and moistened with shame. [Count]: “And just who was the one who said that they wanted to see my restless face?” [Kara]: “That’s...” The adorable figure of my beloved, trapped with lowered eyes, also makes a bewitching pleasure sharply simmer within me. (If I happened to look into a mirror right now… Without a doubt, I would see that the face I’m wearing is far from that of a gentleman.) [Count]: “I know that you also want to learn of these indecent pleasures, hm?” [Kara]: “I…—nn,” To cut off her words, I rub the peaks of her breasts against the silk with the pads of my fingers. [Kara]: “ah- Mn…” [Count]: “To the point where I can find that out immediately— harden them for me.” [Count]: “Not wanting to know this pleasure... you don’t seem that way at all, or am I mistaken?” (Because of the purple moon, I cannot go against her wishes tonight.) (If she truly didn’t want this, I wouldn’t be able to even lay a finger on her.) (Since I am able to touch her, this means—)

[Count]: “…You truly, want me to forcibly take you, don’t you?” Burying my face onto her nape I move my fingers to agitate her, her body trembling within me. Desperately biting her lip, she stifles her sweet voice. (Whatever it is that you are thinking, I will quite distinctly know what it is.) (Because the one controlling me, is you yourself…) I rub her with my fingers again, and she twists her back with a shudder. [Kara]: “Hah, ah…” [Count]: “It seems that you are feeling it more than usual.” [Count]: “To seek a thrill like this, what a bad girl you are.”

[Count]: “But, if you don’t keep that voice down, you will be heard, no?” [Kara]: “Ha, ah- But… I can’t… hold o-…” [Count]: “There’s no other choice, then.” The corners of my lips raise into an elegant smile before I lift her chin. [Count]: “I’ll stifle it for you.” [Kara]: “Mn, uhn…” Continuing to lovingly caress her breast in one hand I press my lips to hers, providing even more heat. A voice laced with temptation spills out from her wetted lips. [Kara]: “A…bel… if you do, any more than this, I…” [Count]: “Then if I do any more than this, what will happen?” [Kara]: “Don’t bully me…” Her lovely voice cries out between the light brushes of our lips, and my chest sweetly tightens from the sound. (This appetite will not be satisfied until I make her wholly mine.) [Count]: “Do you take me for a man who only teases and leaves you unfulfilled?”

[Count]: “I shall stain your entire body with pleasure.”

…In a certain room. I slip off my coats, vest, tie, and finally shirt to reveal my bare skin…While I fling them onto the sofa one by one, I lead Kara in the direction of the bed. (The part where I drive her to the corner like this… is exceptional tonight.)

[Kara]: “Ah…” Hitting the edge of the bed, she casts her eyes down as there is nowhere else to go. [Count]: “…Got you.” I capture her beloved body into my arm’s embrace, and slowly push her down onto the bed. [Count]: “In here, you can be as loud as you like.” [Kara]: “But… is it okay to use this room as you please…?” [Count]: “When we arrived tonight we had talked about the themes of evening parties, correct?” I move my hand from stroking her blooming cheeks to press a fingertip against her lips. [Count]: “For those who wish to indulge in something rather risqué for the night, they prepare rooms like this.” [Count]: “So I shall receive this room for use with my humble gratitude.” I unravel the ribbon on the back, and the silk dress almost seemed to glide off her shoulder as it fell down.

(I do like to beautifully dress you up – but stripping you down with my own two hands also sends my heart racing.) [Kara]: “gh…” I seize her hands that were about to cover her chest and pin them to the sheets. [Count]: “Without hiding anything, show yourself to me.” Her exposed skin became shamefully dyed with the hue of roses before my very eyes. This color, teeming with vitality, made my vampiric instincts ache painfully.

[Kara]: “n-no… It’s embarrassing…” [Count]: “Then, if I stop looking… I shall have a taste instead.” I meet her breasts and crawl the tip of my tongue along the peak. [Kara]: “Ah, aah… Abel… Mn,” She pushes against my chest in light resistance. But before long her resistance had ceased, and gradually changed to that of her disheveled sighs and sweet gasps. [Count]: “It seems that you’ve become quite honest with yourself.” [Kara]: “To be loved like this – I have no choice but to be honest, right…?” [Kara]: “As tonight will be the only time I’ll get to know of your ferocious emotions…”

My mind is suddenly drawn to her wording. (Does she know about the purple moon…?) But I cannot imagine that she would know about something like a rare phenomenon that occurs only once every several centuries. I stare at her as if to look into her heart, and our eyes meet.

[Kara]: “More… Please, lose yourself to me, more…” (If she does know about the purple moon, and thus is purposefully provoking me, then…) [Count]: “What a naughty girl. Do you want to ruin my composure that badly?” [Kara]: “Yes…” The Count’s body is completely, sweetly steeped in her words, and as if it were alcohol his reason gradually dissolved. (Right now, even the words that I always shower her with will not come out.) For his heart was dominated only by the instinct of a vampire, and only by the instinct to love her as a man. [Count]: “I want to cast away my morality and reason, and just love you.”

FIN

this guy…………is a lot. i thought maybe everyone would be like this for the event but no, leo only gets weird bc essentially his mc was dumb enough to try to pick up broken shards of glass with her bare hands (im not trying to shame her… but i am) and then it’s not really isaac’s fault when he already has the worst bloodthirst out of all of them so sir step into the paddy wagon, the horni police will question u shortly

anyway tl;dr the sweet ending has the mc reveal to him early that she knew what the purple moon does to vampires in terms of the heightened vampire senses and crud but not the obedience to loved ones so he tells her blah blah romanceu talk but he still wants to bone and so they go home to do it instead. 

Make sure to purchase the Epilogue when you have the chance! It’s good stuff ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So, thanks for reading! (`･ω･´) Sorry if it’s hard to parse through. there’s a reason why editing is a job people get paid for orz

[silverynight]

im so desperate for 00q fics rn. Just like absolutely anything, please.

Based on this.

***

There are some humans among double-ohs, although the majority of them are vampires and even though they’re stronger and faster than humans that doesn’t mean they don’t have to be rescued.

Proof of that is Q having to board a plane, passing out on the seat next to Moneypenny just to go find out what happened to 007.

He hates flying, that’s why he’s never going to forgive 007 for making him go all the way to Argentina to save him.

Q manages to hack Silva’s security system and Moneypenny kills everyone else on her way. The problem is that Bond has been kept in a cell for weeks and he’s starving.

Which means he doesn’t recognize any of them.

“He’s going to kill us both if we open it,” Moneypenny mumbles, preparing her shotgun with a silver bullet. “I think I’ll have to shoot him.”

The agent hears them speak and gets closer, eyes completely red due to the thirst; he looks like a predator.

“Wait!” Q whispers to Moneypenny before turning to look at the agent. “007.”

“You smell good,” Bond comments, showing his fangs while he speaks. “I can’t wait to taste your blood.”

Now, he had made comments like those before, but always in a playful tone, just to make Q frown at him because even though the agent likes to flirt, the Quartermaster knows he’d never date someone like him.

Not that he cares either.

There’s none of that playful tone now though; Q takes a deep breath, trying not to shiver.

“Okay, I’m going in.”

“Are you crazy? I cannot risk your life, Q! You’re too important to MI6. Let me shoot him!” She whispers furiously.

“Listen, I have an idea… I think it’s going to work, besides, if he attacks me then you can shoot him if you want. Just please, trust me.”

Q opens the cell carefully, the vampire doesn’t seem to want to get out; he waits patiently for him to get inside.

It’s a bad idea; Q doesn’t know much about vampires anyway, he just read about the bite thing a couple of weeks ago…

He’s not sure if it’s real.

A bite to stablish dominance? It could just piss him off even more.

“You’re beautiful,” if Q wasn’t so nervous, he would’ve rolled his eyes at that. Even consumed by thirst Bond is still Bond.

“Come here… I bet you’re hungry,” Q says and almost regrets it when, in the blink of an eye, he finds himself in the vampire’s arms.

“I’ll be gentle…”

“Well I won’t,” Q huffs before leaning to bite his neck. The vampire freezes and the Quartermaster is pretty sure he’s going to die when 007 pushes him away.

His eyes are not red anymore. He looks confused.

“Q?”

“Thank God!” The man mumbles, taking one of the bottles with synthetic blood he brought with him. “Here, drink this.”

Bond does as he’s told, staring at Q while Moneypenny opens the cell again.

“Time to go, boys.”

“Q, did you bite me?”

“Well… yes.”

Bond grins from ear to ear.

***

There’s something wrong with 007; there’s nothing new about him spending his free time in Q branch (he used to do that just to piss Q). But now he follows the Quartermaster like a puppy, brings him sweets and flowers and bares his teeth at any other agent that comes awfully close to Q.

R doesn’t seem surprised though and she’s a vampire as well, maybe she knows something Q doesn’t.

“So you’re finally dating!”

“We’re not dating and what do you mean ‘finally’?” Q says, before explaining everything that happened. “I think I broke him.”

She rolls her eyes.

“The bite is not to stablish dominance! If a human bites one of us like that it means you want to start a courtship. It’s basically a declaration of love!”

Q blushes, cursing himself.

“What do I do now?”

“Enjoy it?” She chuckles when she sees him narrow his eyes. “I mean everybody knows Bond is in love with you–No, don’t give me that look now, he really is! You’re just too oblivious to notice. Of course, if you don’t like him, then–”

Someone pulls Q away from R, the powerful pair of arms seem really determined not to let him go now.

“I’ve missed you,” Bond purrs in his ear. He presses his lips against Q’s temple gently, making the Quartermaster blush. “I can’t wait to make you my mate… We’ll be together for–”

“Wait, 007…”

“Why don’t you call me James?” The vampire frowns, looking hurt.

Q sighs.

“There’s something you need to know.”

“And that’s my cue to leave,” R mumbles. “Good luck, boss!”

Bond doesn’t take it well at all.

“You bit me to calm me down?” The vampire asks and Q has to admit it really sounds stupid when he says it like that.

“It was to stablish dominance! But yeah, it wasn’t my brightest idea,” he whispers watching as the agent’s expression turns into sadness.

“So you don’t… Well, I guess I’ll stop bothering you,” the vampire says, taking a step back.

“Wait! James!” Q grabs him by the sleeve to stop him from leaving. “I’m definitely not ready to be your mate… yet. But I’d love to go on a date with you.”

“How do I know you’re not saying this out if pity?”

Q rolls his eyes, takes him by the tie and gives him a kiss that makes Bond gasp.

The vampire kisses back, desperate and possessive; it’s like he’s been waiting a long time for that moment.

When they pull apart, there’s a smug grin back on Bond’s face.

“I’ll pick you up at 8.”

Q is not sure if he made the right decision, but he’s definitely excited about that first date.

***

Kofi

Patreon

[survivor-mountmerapi]

Ep. 11: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” - DeNara

Madi

omfg instant tribal -> ginny gone:( it was sad bc she cried and I rly rly like her as a person but she is just too messy to play with raffy out next? lets see if I can finesse that.... also, THE ONE NAME IS GET IN TOUCHY TOPICS IS WHO IS PLAYING MORE THAN YOU THINK?????? sounds like me

DeNara

Oh my goodness, I am glad I had immunity for that tribal. It was pretty clear cut it was going to be Ginny but still sad to see Ginny go. Now that Julia and Ginny are gone, I am excited and nervous to see what is coming next. I have no idea who will be going next. Also, I love that I was voted more trust worthy, but being voted most likely to flip on their alliance is a big oof and puts a big target on me.

Raffy

DeNara, Steven, and I hopped on a call after that emotional tribal council. We've come to the conclusion that a newbie needs to go in this next tribal council or it's going to be a mess. The newbie we have decided on is... Madi. Yes. We do plan to betray one of our closest allies at the moment. She's been playing an excellent game and she needs to be voted out sooner rather than later. Additionally, she is the one we suspect of having the idol. So, this needs to be a complete and utter blindside. For now, the plan is to tell Madi and Gian to target Rachel. Then, we get Elle to vote with us to target Madi. That would make the vote 4-3-1 which would lead to Madi being voted out. This plan has a lot of risk, but i's not Survivor if it isn't risky.

DeNara

Okay so here is how things would go down if I had my way right now (even though I know that is unlikely). I would love to start by flipping on my alliance of 5 and working with Elle, Steven and Raffy to get Madi out and then Gian since they are the biggest newbie threats. After that I would then flip with the girls (and hopefully Steven) to get Raffy out of the game. That would leave Steven, Elle, Rachel, Anastasia, and myself in the game. Since Rachel has a relationship with Anastasia I would take her out next, leaving Steven, Elle, Anastasia, and myself in the game. I would then hopefully go to the end with 2 of those three. I feel like because I get along best with Steven and Elle right now I would like them to be in the final three with me even if I lose. My biggest concern right now is if Raffy is playing me since I got voted "most likely to flip on my alliance". So Raffy is someone I am paying close attention too.

Elle

Im kinda sad to see Ginny go :( But hey! Final 8✨ [I sent this to DeNara and then VL already but it works as a confessional and I only have so many things to say lol]

Well it's nice to know no one on my tribe's rooting for me 😂😂😂 lol my wins in the touchy subjects basically told this story: "she's honest, someone people can really root for, too bad she's never gonna win" which tbh im okay with 😅 my only goal starting this game was to make it to merge and then it was to avenge James so if i make it to F3 just to lose I'll be doing WAY better than i planned 💖 And honestly at least ppl don't think I'm a villain 😅 it's funny that Raffy got villain and I got hero since we're super close in this game (I feel the need to add 'I think' here lol)

Raffy

I want either Elle or myself to win. If Elle wins, that forces Gian and Madi to target Rachel this round which would go perfectly with the plan I've laid out. If I win, I can fully go for this plan without any hesitation. That's why I am going all out for this challenge. I apologize in advance to Jay who will have to go through all the submissions, but I have to do what I gotta do considering I cannot go outside due to a snowstorm.

Rachel

Man, this is such a tough game. The immunity challenge was hard, but i think as long as our majority newbies stick together, we will have control over the vote and who goes home. i'm glad to see elle won though! she is a great competitor. i still love that i got most honest and most likely to lie. i guess it shows how crazy of a game i'm playing socially

Gian

OK, so in order for this Raffy blindside to work PERFECTLY. He can’t catch wind of this plan because he’ll play his safety without power, which is a huge no no. We’ll be able to pull in Elle for this. If that happens, we fear DeNara might be a bad back up bc she’ll have something OR Elle won’t vote with us. So in this scenario of options, Steven is a great back up option.  This works to my advantage because that means if for some reason, my alliance tries to retaliate against me, Steven won’t be here for numbers.

Elle

I won immunity again 😅 ugh in hindsight I regret it. I wasn't really thinking gameplay-wise, more just "I have been given a challenge, time to go ham" 🔥🔥🔥  I should've maybe talked to my alliance abt it, though 😭. I might give Raffy my immunity?? idk I'm worried about tonight. 😅I'm just gonna trust Raffy's plan, but I am stressed✨I think I'm realizing for the first time kinda that I'm pretty far in the game and I don't wanna lose now 😂

Anastasia

So I just made an alliance with DeNara and Steven and my newbies alliance is wanting DeNara out. Our main target is Raffy but if Raffy plays an idol we will try to split the vote to DeNara which wouldn't be good for me if DeNara went home. I need the newbies and DeNara to fight so the attention is off of me. So I want her here. Hopefully Raffy will just not have an idol for one second

Raffy

I've confirmed the plan with Elle to take out Madi. The Wild Faes alliance (Elle, Steven, DeNara, and I) are fully down to take out a newbie this round. That newbie will be Madi if all goes well. Madi and Gian seem to believe that the vote will be Rachel tonight. They confirmed it in the alliance chat. Additionally, they told me that Rachel wanted to target Steven this round. I believe that Steven is a bigger shield for me than I am for him. It has always been his name thrown out than mine since merge began. Last night, I confirmed a Final 2 deal with Steven. It is my belief that I do not have a shot if Steven isn't there so they cannot use the excuse of "well, he already won before." We discussed that, ideally, Anastasia would be our third in the Final 3. This is because Anastasia is the biggest goat around while Elle/DeNara could make a really strong case for themselves. Finally, Elle offered to give me her immunity necklace tonight, but I had to decline. If that happened, that would make Madi and Gian shift their gears to Elle which wouldn't work for the plan. Additionally, it would let them know something is up which we do not want.

DeNara

Well....it is going down. Raffy, Steven, Elle and I are targeting Madi and Madi, Gian, Rachel and Anastasia are targeting Raffy. It could potentially be a show down tonight. I don't think I will flip though, I think it would be bad for my game. I need to get some newbies out before I flip on Raffy.

Madi

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VhQNVbLwBcJlyYbIElS9iQ_ZW99uWw76/view?usp=drivesdk

Raffy

Elle told me earlier that Madi had came to her with a plan to vote me out this round. Elle declined it with a little aid from me, and Madi seemed to have backed off. It seems like the smart play to get rid of her now. I am just going to continue acting dumb to them and keep preaching Rachel. Hopefully, with Elle's rejection, Madi will decide to not go for me this round and bide her time a little longer.

Steven

https://youtu.be/ZjewoAwraOM

DeNara

I am getting nervous for tribal tonight. I hope we don't go to rocks, that would suck a lot. Rachel is saying she wants to vote for Steven, so idk if I should play into that or just flat out turn it down. I don't want Madi to get suspicious of us turning on her and Gian.

DeNara

What the heck!?!?!? It is an hour before tribal and we are stressed af. Anastasia wanted to get Raffy out and I had to convince her not to vote that way and to vote for Rachel.

Raffy

This tribal has just became a giant mess. So, Gian and Madi were fully comfortable trying to 4-4 tie it between me and someone else. Meanwhile, DeNara got tea from Anastasia and has "exposed" Gian/Madi to her. Now, Anastasia wants to flip and vote out Rachel. But, the Faes alliance has decided not to tell Anastasia the actual vote is Madi. And I want to use my SWP because now is the time to use it since Anastasia confirmed it's between me or DeNara for the newbies so Steven would be safe in that scenario. So, if everything works out, it should be a 3-3-1 vote with me not voting between Madi, DeNara, and Rachel. In that case, we get Anastasia to vote for Madi under the pretense that we just couldn't trust her yet but now we do. Apparently, Madi doesn't like DeNara and Gian doesn't like one of Steven or I. That's kind of sad cause I like them, but whatever. And if DeNara does end up the vote because Madi uses an idol, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make because Anastasia says she wants to flip so in the process of all this I gain a number and have a 4-3 majority next round guaranteed. Wish me luck y'all

DeNara

oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!!!!!! Raffy is using his safety without power tonight so that means that  Madi, Rachel and Gian are going to write my name and Elle, Steven and I are going to vote for Madi. Which leaves Anastasia as the swing vote to vote off either myself or Madi. I don't know if I have a close enough relationship with Anastasia for her to vote Madi. So I may be going home tonight!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

My only hope is to come clean to Anastasia about the plan and pray she votes for Madi instead of me. It may be my funeral tonight :'(

Elle

OKAY. So we think Anastasia is going to vote Rachel with us except we're not going to vote Rachel we're going to vote Madi and I'm going to give Raffy my immunity necklace so that at worst its a tie and then we use Raf's bargaining chip to Rach or anastasia before we go to rocks. Cool writing this JUST before tribal

DeNara

I may have screwed myself over tonight.  I told Anastasia we were voting Madi so if she told Madi then I could be going home and it would be my own fault.

[kristie-rp]

Promise

Triggers: Suicide mention, drug mention, overdose mention, prostitution, gun mention, kidnapping

“I’ll take care of you,” she had promised. She can’t regret the oath, but she does regret what it drove her to, the desperate need to prove she could keep the promise.

Kara gets into prostitution because her little brother is eleven when the last of their parents vanish. She is seventeen, and she knows enough to be aware that the big motivator in Blacklight is money, and when her dad ran out, this is what happens: there’s no point trying to force a payment from a man with his head barely above water. She knows without a body being found that he is dead. Kara has her savings, her college fund, and that’s it. It’s not enough for two kids to live off, and her part-time job at a clothing store isn’t going to keep them afloat, and no one she wants her brother anywhere near is going to hire an eleven year old.

So – so she starts to prostitute herself, an amateur working cheap by Blacklight standards. She learns how much to charge without drawing complaints, she learns how to balance senior year and ‘work’, and she learns that many clients will pay more for the thrill of her being so much younger than the average whore. Enable a fetish and the cash goes up, enough to pay for school, for food, for a roof. At eighteen she gets sole custody of Lionel, legally, without complaint. She fucks the judge to get it through quick, once they get caught by the system.

She spends too long in the bathroom, driving the water bill up and up and scrubbing her skin raw in an attempt to get clean. Lionel is twelve, and she’s learned enough now to know how to draw lines, how to enforce them without losing clients. He knows what she does, he knows how much she hates it, but she doesn’t bring her work home and he can’t complain, however much he might want to.

Eighteen is when the pimp for her district finds out about her working solo, cutting into his profits. Eighteen is when  Craig gets his hands on her, and really, he’s not so bad, except taking off some of her profits. She explains to him her situation, barely thinking it’ll work but convinced it’s worth a try – and he listens. He gives her specific times to work, promises he’ll take only ten percent, a fixed rate. It’s – it’s not good, but it’s not bad, she’s got repeat clients who are sleazier than Craig.

And then Faust finds out about her.

“So you’re the infamous Caramel,” are his first words to her.

She’s standing as still as she knows how, wearing something revealing beneath a heavy, cheap coat. She’s going for allure, even though she’s just a little too far from curvy for the effect to work as she intends; this is her ‘uniform’, what she wears when she’s out during the hours Craig assigns.

“I’m whoever you need me to be, baby,” she says. Her voice is a rasp, quiet, but not subdued. There is a confidence in her tone that many whores have lost by the end of their first year – but she cannot afford to become less of a person, not with Lionel at home depending on her, not with so many people willing to take advantage of her.

Faust circles like a vulture, and she knows she is being judged. She keeps her eyes partially shut, as though heavily lidded, and watches him with pursed lips painted  in a discounted dark pink. He’s not actually that old at this point, though definitely older than her – she guesses him to be around thirty, much younger than her year-dead father. He’s not bad looking, either. It won’t be a struggle to act like she likes it when he inevitably goes down on her, even if what follows is her usual routine of scathing hot water and too-long in the shower, worrying a brother who is getting more and more withdrawn in turn.

“I’ll pay you triple,” he says at last, “to stay overnight. I get twenty-five percent of your cut from clients who aren’t me.”

Kara raises a brow at him. “Craig might have something to say about that.” She doesn’t say that this is a rip off, that she’s not going to jump ship from her fantastic deal just because he offers better pay to start

Faust’s smile is soft, but there’s something in his eyes that stands out to her – something dangerous. Something that tells her this man is not a nice man, as if she hadn’t guessed from an awareness of who he is. “Craig can’t say much once he’s dead.”

Her blood runs cold, but she steps closer to him. He doesn’t back down; she runs a hand up his chest and grips the gaudy tie he is wearing, something only a Blacklight local would like. She doesn’t smile, but she peers at him from beneath the fake eyelashes she is wearing only for this meeting. The effect is that she is playing coy, with any luck. “Whatever you say, boss,” she breathes, and drags him down to kiss her.

She can never pick out individual moments of her time with Faust, not in hindsight. It’s either a self-defence mechanism or a consequence of everything blurring together.

After that first meeting with her, he puts a pimp, loyal to him and more obedient than Craig proved to be, in charge of the whores. The new pimp is an asshole in every way except physically; he does not do anything that might bruise. But the verbal and psychological, the demeaning, the ripping off all of them – Kara is the only one whose cut never changes, because she is not afraid to talk money with Faust, and she talked him into writing up a contract that means he takes a profit from her, not the new pimp, and only a set amount. It’s not good, and for the first time she wonders if maybe things with Craig were better than she thought – and those drained her of everything she had.

If she believed in gods, this would be about where she’d start praying.

She comes home the day of her brothers fourteenth birthday with a little cake and a spring in her step, for once. Faust has promised her the weekend off, written it into another contract in what she knows is both a power play and a source of amusement for him; his little whore with her obsession with promises being kept. She doesn’t care that he mocks her for this, because promises are the only thing she can keep.

“Hey, Li? You home?”

The front door is locked, but not deadlocked; she knows he is. He’s good at keeping safe, good at following rules a lot of people in Blacklight take for granted or ignore. Kara smiles to herself: it’s a Friday, and she doesn’t have to do any work until Monday, and this is going to be a weekend just for her and Lionel. She’s got some money stowed away, enough that they can rent a car – dads being long since gone – and get out of Blacklight, just for the weekend. Never has she been happier her brother is a summer born child; they can go somewhere with a pool, or somewhere on the sea. They haven’t seen it since the summer before their dad was killed, and it’s finally time – in her opinion – to move on.

The house is quiet, though. She figures Lionel has earphones in, because the budget ones that came with his phone are the best sound system they have. He saved for ages to get that thing, scrounging together the change from Kara sending him grocery shopping and the neighbours paying him to pay the lawn until he could afford a Nokia and a memory card, the better to store music on. He loves his music, and his dream is to go to a concert; there aren’t any on this year that he’s interested in, or she would be taking him to it. “Boys and their toys,” she murmurs to herself, fond. She’s been busy, forced to work more lately by Faust and the twenty-five percent, and she’s been looking forward to this for ages, both for the company of Lionel, and for herself. Too much Blacklight breaks people, after all.

She sticks some candles in the little cake, lights them and heads into the further reaches of the apartment. It’s a shoebox, but she can make rent more often than not, and they each have their own rooms, for better or worse. She starts humming the timeless classic in her usual almost-croak, long since over how a husky voice does not lend itself well to singing. Still, she sings anyway, a loud “Happy birthday to you,” that cuts off as she drops the cake in the doorway.

Lionel is collapsed on the floor, and she only prevents a fire because her bare foot stamps out the candles before the ancient carpet can catch fire. Her panic blocks out the stab of pain, and she dives to her knees beside her little brother, feeling for a pulse before grasping for his phone, dropped on a stack of pamphlets, dialling emergency services because it’s that or nothing, and she can’t handle doing nothing.

The paramedics ask her more questions than she can answer. Oh, she can answer the standard lot – medical insurance, none; patients name, Lionel Darcy St Claire; patients age, fourteen; patients date of birth, today; emergency contact, Kara St Claire – but when they ask her if he’s been showing symptoms of anything, she cannot answer. “I work a lot,” she explains, but it feels feeble to her ears, and she feels judged for this more than anything else.

Their weekend away turns into a weekend in the hospital, and the money she has saved to make the weekend worth more than most is set aside for hospital bills. Kara spends Friday night sitting vigil at his bedside, Saturday with her head in her hands and shoulders hunched, and Sunday is when someone finally decides to tell her what’s going on. There’s an excess of something in his system – something that usually results from an overdose of opioids , of painkillers.

“There weren’t any pills anywhere near him,” she says, something nagging at the back of her mind.

The doctor gives a tight smile, sympathy heavy in his eyes. “It can take a week or longer for the overdose to show any observable effects to others, especially if he’s trying to hide them,” he informs her. “This isn’t your fault,” he says, “but his liver is shutting down. Chances are that there’s nothing you could’ve done – we’ve had a lot of suicides lately. It’s unlikely that he will last out the week.”

It’s not reassuring, not at all. She gives the doctor a look that says as much, then closes her eyes. She wants to cry, but she hasn’t done that, not in years, teardrops burning away from the inside out under scalding hot water. She hears the doctor leave, but she stays there, still, with her brother and the beeping of the machines that are, apparently, doing nothing but delaying the inevitable.

She falls asleep in the armchair beside the bed, curled in on herself as though having any more warmth will make this all go away. When her phone winks onto standby after she has fallen asleep, it closes on a Google search result, the top few links showing they’ve been clicked.

is cremation cheaper than burial blacklight usa

Lionel, it turns out, has been having a much harder time than she has been aware. She reaches out to the boy she remembers as his best friend, and it is only herself, him, his sister, and two former classmates who liked having Lionel paired with them for group work come to the pathetic service she holds. She doesn’t believe in god or gods, never has, and while Lionel liked the idea of the comfort divine answers might bring, he didn’t believe either. So she can’t bring herself to hire some religious man to preach something she doesn’t believe, even if it might make the sting any less painful.

She leads the lot of them to the roof of the shoebox apartment she doesn’t need any longer but can’t bring herself to leave, high above the second-storey place she manages to afford. It’s a hideous rooftop, but the building itself is nine storeys, and the view isn’t awful. There’s a barbecue and some cushions discarded up here, an esky that’s more often empty than not, and on afternoons when Kara didn’t have to work and he found himself in the mood, they would sit up here and talk about nothing and everything.

It’s the place most attached to him that brings the least amount of pain, now.

“Don’t you want to say something? In his memory, or something?” the friend asks, when they’re standing there with the urn that holds all that remains of her brothers body. His name is Alex; he’s the most harmless person Kara knows, now. Certainly the most naive and the most delusional. His parents are moving the family to New Brightside, on the other side of Port Lyndon to Blacklight, before the end of the year, chasing job opportunities they’re lucky to have been offered. Kara cannot resent them for their escape, because she hates this city, this city that breaks the people who least deserve it; but she can add them leaving to the list of reasons she has started to write up about

Everything Kara wants to say has been said already, to a brother trapped in a medically induced coma until his liver finally gave out, because Blacklight is no different to America and doesn’t allow euthanasia.

“I remember,” she says quietly, “the summer before mom died. Li – Lionel was four. He was turning four, four years old, can you imagine? And he was – he was so damn happy. I was ten, I thought I was so damn cool, and I really, really wasn’t.

“We went to the coast for a long weekend, I think Independence Day fell on a Monday that year. And there were these teenagers there, probably – probably as old as you guys are now. Thirteen, fourteen, not old at all. I thought they were the most amazing people I’d ever met, and I was such a jackass to Li on the first day, wanting to impress them. Then, on that night, we had this little family campfire, just the four of us, and dad gave me this lecture about not being mean to my brother, about how it was my responsibility to look after him. About how I’d regret not being nice, sooner or later.

“And Lionel, he just – he got up and he sat next to me and he interrupted dad, this four year old, and he says, dead serious, ‘Kara just wanted new friends’. He didn’t hold a grudge at all, it hadn’t even upset him that I was such a – a selfish person. And I know, I know kids don’t understand that at all, they’d never see it as selfish, but usually, you know, the fact that they’re four gets to them first, and they’re all ‘my way is the only way’. But Lionel,” and she laughs faintly, bitterly, fondly; “Lionel just – skipped that stage. And it didn’t change. It never started.

“Blacklight needs more people like that,” she finished, swallowing, choking on the emotion welling up in her throat.

The service ends with everyone sad, the only dry eye Kara’s, and only because she forces it. She’s still clutching the urn, though she plans on emptying it. It’s useless to her, just another thing to decorate the apartment, but it feels more important than that. After all, it’s her little brother in her arms. So she shuts down the thoughts that have been driving her crazy, the ones insisting a pot of ash shouldn’t mean anything, that an unmarked grave would be worth more to her.

But it’s Lionel. He’s all she’s had for three years now, he’s the reason she’s a lower class citizen, and she promised she’d take care of him. She swore.

I’ve never broken a promise before, she thinks, and then flinches from the thought, closes her eyes to it, refuses to acknowledge it again.

She’s got work, anyway. This – this debate can wait.

Kara is three months from her twenty-first birthday when she finds out she’s pregnant.

It isn’t much of a discovery, really. It’s actually impressive it hasn’t happened sooner – she’s heard horror stories of clients and pimps sabotaging others’ birth control, which is why she takes her prescribed pills meticulously, always made sure she has a supply even when money gets tight. That’s something that doesn’t happen much, not anymore, she’s even got savings.

And, apparently, a child on the way.

Maybe I should consider those god things again, she thinks as she wraps and dumps the test. It’d certainly explain the number of things that are fucking with me.

Still – still. She’s been alone for long enough that a bastard child sounds like a good idea, or at least one she doesn’t want to dismiss out of hand. She puts a lot of thought into the technicalities, makes lists and checks them twice.

In reality, her mind is made up the second that little plus sign shows up – the planning comes with the knowledge that a whore isn’t going to make the kind of mother she wants to be.

“You have a daughter,” is what the midwife says, smiling warmly at Kara. Kara is exhausted, feels sweat soaked and disgusting, and there are textbooks at home she is supposed to be revising, unable to take time off even for this – she’s taken advantage of the break from whoring (“Can’t very well have you giving birth in the middle of a good fuck,” he had insisted, which was crass but meant she got time off from wor) to pick up the business course she found in the pamphlets in her brothers’ room, all those years ago. “Would you like to hold her?”

“Please,” Kara says immediately, tired and almost pleading, reaching for the infant. The midwife laughs, more open and affectionate than anyone Kara has spent time with in a long time, and gently arranges the baby in her arms.

“Have you decided on a name for her, yet?”

Kara hums. She’s staring at her new child, at her family, wonder in her wide green eyes. The baby has blonde hair on her head, like Kara’s, and her eyes, for the moment, are shut as she doses. She’s a beautiful little girl, bundled into the blanket and onesie the maternity ward provides. Kara is absolutely certain she’s never going to make anything this perfect again, and immediately feels immensely guilty that she’s stuck picking up on the whoring again just as soon as Faust tires of her sabbatical. All the more reason to finish this business course, to pick up on dreams she had back in high school, that, apparently, Lionel remembered in the week before he succumbed to his suicide attempt.

(She still doesn’t know what caused it, or what she missed, if she could have stopped it. She constantly faces what-ifs and dreams and nightmares of possibilities, subconscious images so realistic she wakes up waiting to tell Lionel about it – and then the memories hit and she curls back up, chokes back the emotion, refuses the tears she still hasn’t shed. But what-ifs are useless and the past cannot be changed: Blacklight breaks people. She has known this all her life.)

“Darcy Artemis St Claire,” she answers the midwife at last, leaning down to kiss her little girls forehead. Darcy feels right, which she didn’t expect, but it just – it suits the person in her arms, belongs to her in a way Kara has heard some mothers’ say is possible, but didn’t believe. The midwife says something about paperwork and vanishes to find it, pulling the crib over so Kara can put her baby to bed, if she chooses.

When she’s alone with Darcy, Kara presses her lips to the top of her babies’ head yet again. “You’re going to be brilliant,” she murmurs, almost silent. “You’re not going to have a life like mine. I’ll never let you feel alone, I promise. You’re never going to have to swear yourself to – to someone like Faust or Craig or anyone else. I swear, Darcy. We don’t know each other well yet, but we will, and it is going to be fantastic. I promise you.”

She should learn to keep her mouth shut.

Darcy opens her eyes more and more, and there’s something familiar in them. It’s only once Kara is forced to go back to work, cajoling the elderly neighbour into caring for Darcy for the few hours she has to be gone, that she figures it out.

She’s lying in bed with Faust, waiting for him to tell her she can get out, go home, collect her pay direct to a bank account she always transfers the money straight out of, when it comes to her. Darcy doesn’t have her eyes, but they’ve always been familiar. Kara has a lot of regulars, people she’s seen since coming back to work.

“She’s got your eyes,” she blurts without thinking, and immediately starts cursing herself out internally, more than she usually does. She promised Darcy she’d never owe herself to someone like Faust, and here she is, piquing his curiosity.

“I’m not giving you alimony. Keep your bastard child away from me,” he instructs.

She immediately wants to leap to her daughters defence, but she stops herself. She doesn’t want him in Darcy’s life, after all – she promised Darcy, and she’s never going to know that this one time, Kara didn’t defend her. “I don’t want your hush money,” she snaps, getting out from the bed he fucked her in.

She feels dirty, but that’s normal, after any time spent with Faust at all – any time spent working at all. She’s almost finished her course, though, and then she can work on starting a store, the way she wanted to as a teen.  She’s almost out. Finally.

Kara isn’t exactly counting down the days, but she is closer to relieved than she’s felt for a long time.

“What’s this I hear,” Faust says, speaking very slowly, “about you studying?”

He says it like it’s a dirty word, but it’s Kara who is alarmed. She’s got a contract with him that doesn’t say it, but everyone knows that once Faust has you, you don’t get out. The contract doesn’t say it, but everyone knows the rules: no studying, no betterment of yourself, no terminating your employment. Whores get out only once they’re too old to be appealing, businesspeople get out when they can payout more than Faust thinks they are worth, mercs don’t get out.

The exception is when they get dead.

Who told you, is the first question on her tongue, but she doesn’t ask. Even if he answers, it won’t do her any good. “It doesn’t say anything in my contract about me not being allowed to pursue other uses of my time, as long as it doesn’t impact my earnings. It hasn’t, therefore, you have no reason to be like this.” She folds her arms over her chest, the better to hide her fisted hands.

He laughs, long and loud and cruel. “Your contract means nothing. I maintain the terms because it amuses me, but if you are betraying me, Caramel, then you need to be punished. You’re nothing more than a particularly pretty slut, spreading your legs for whatever cash you can get your hands on.”

Kara hates that name, but she freezes, and cannot move. He raises a hand and two men come in, along with a woman she’s barely aware of, some other whore, one of the older ones – one of the broken ones.

“Do it,” he instructs.

The men get between the two women, but it’s the woman who catches Kara’s attention. She’s tiny and hunched and doesn’t have an ounce of confidence in her movements – and she’s walking right for the room where Darcy is sleeping.

“What are you doing?” Kara exclaims, lunging forward. One of the men grab her wrist, the better to prevent her from moving.

“You want to take one of my toys away?” Faust sneers. Kara has never wanted to attack him as much as she does now. “I will take yours. After all, she’s half mine, isn’t she? What was it you said – she has my eyes.”

In the other room, the woman must have picked up Darcy; the baby starts to cry. There are quiet shushing sounds, but they don’t work – Kara and the neighbour are the only people who can get her to be quiet, once she starts crying. Kara doesn’t know if it’s a temperament thing or what, but she doesn’t mind, not as long as she can get there to stop it. “No,” she gasps, then repeats it louder, wrenching out of the grip of the lackey, “No! Don’t you dare, don’t even think about it, I’ll – I’ll go to the police, or I’ll hire someone to get you, Faust, just watch me – get off me – don’t touch her!”

The last shout comes from the older whore showing the wailing infant to Faust. And – yes, okay, he’s the source of the sperm that made Darcy possible, but he’s not her father, and he looks at the baby as though she is some new plaything. Figures, Kara will think later, but for now, she is too panicked, too defensive, too amped up to do anything. “Stop that,” he tells Darcy, but if anything it only makes her cry louder. He rolls his eyes and dismisses both the whore and the baby with a wave of his hand, and Kara is reminded again of how offended she was, when she realised who made her daughter possible. “You, too. Stop it,” he orders, not even looking at the crying child. “The police won’t act against me, and no one you could find would dare go against me. I own this city, I own you, and now, I own your daughter.”

“Fuck you, Faust,” she spits, tugging ineffectually against the grip of the merc. One of them shifts behind her, not that she can see it, and lifts something. Faust nods in front of her, and she opens her mouth to keep protesting, to keep yelling, to talk sense into the man who is kidnapping a baby he wanted nothing to do with less than a year ago.

Only something soft goes over her mouth and nose, muffling her shouts, and when she inhales the air is sickly sweet. Her eyes go wider, and she’s at once disgusted and horrified and incensed, but it doesn’t mean anything. After all – she isn’t immune to chloroform.

His words are a premonition:

The police do nothing. He has half a claim on a child, and if she can’t keep it safe from one little home invader, clearly she isn’t fit for custody, and less than a tenth of the police force in Blacklight aren’t in Faust’s pocket –

She can’t hire anyone to help. She doesn’t have the money, and she doesn’t trust the sort of people she could hire, and one in maybe every two hundred residents of Blacklight would maybe consider doing something that will piss off Faust –

There’s no one who will volunteer to help. She knows people who might not like Faust’s methods, but they are quiet and constrained and won’t act against him, and she couldn’t ask them to anyway, not without becoming as bad as him (which, honestly, wouldn’t be that bad, if she got her baby back) –

His words are a challenge:

He says he owns her, but she refuses to be owned by someone who no longer has anything over her. He took her daughter, and she’s not powerful enough to right the wrong, not yet –

But he can’t do anything worse to her now, so why should she listen to a word he says?

“Y’know,” X says. He’s a hulking figure, leaning against the glass cabinet she’s  fixing the display of, completely at home in the meticulously kept almost-open store. “when we met, I didn’t think you’d end up at this point.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, common whore – no offence – to the owner of a gun store? It’s almost a 180.”

Kara snorts, because that’s the best she can offer while she’s got her hands on an engraved Colt. She rests it gently on the cushion and slides the drawer shut, locking it tight before she looks up at him. “Says the guy who gave me the idea in the first place.”

“You were at a gun show, of course that’s why I thought you were there. It’s that or you’re a gun bunny.”

“That’s not a thing,” she says drily, because he’s been trying to make it a thing at least as long as she’s known him. He hasn’t succeeded, not yet. She’s not going to let him – at least, not around her. Not on her corner of this cesspool.

“It’s totally a thing.”

She scoffs hard enough that her throat feels raw, and almost chokes on nothing. He pushes the bottle of water on the counter towards her, raises a brow at her. “Thanks,” she says, once she’s got it down without coughing anything up.

“Don’t mention it,” he says. Then it’s his turn to laugh, and roll his eyes. “I have no idea what you’re thanking me for.”

There are a lot of things. She met X at a dark point in her life, and while things haven’t gotten any lighter, she still constantly feels as though she owes him. “Closing your shop to come help me open, obviously,” she says, but it’s only one of a much longer list.

He knows. The smile he gives her is soft, and he leans across the counter to tap her nose. “You’re going to figure it all out,” he says, “I know it.”

She manages a smile back at him. It’s hard to believe – but it means the world that he does already. Apparently, it’s just what friends do – and she’s been missing out.

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #8: "stick to ONE STORY, not nineteen." - Zach

I think missing the Joint-Tribal Council has been a net positive for my game. Both Takagi2.0 and Kato2.0 were unable to put their differences aside to settle the vote, which means Attila is free to come in and play kingmaker. The choice here is obvious. Kato2.0 could use some shrinkage. Hopefully starting with one of the two original Kato members.

I've re-connected with all of my allies. A lot of them were scared for me during my little tie incident. But now that we're back together again, we have nothing to worry about. ;)

Ally told me everything about the Joint-Tribal vote, and how Kato2.0 seemed unwilling to flip on itself. She even went so far as to tell me Zach seems more loyal to Kato2.0 than she originally expected. Maybe she'll be down to vote him out sooner than I expected. Karth also told me about the vote, and the dynamics of the Kato2.0 tribe. Jake seems to be the odd one out in all of this. It sounds like he's starting to isolate himself socially by being too sketchy with both the StephenW/Federico votes. I wonder where Miguel/Zach/Tim fit into all of this.... I guess if Karth flips, it won't really matter anyway.

It's weird to feel this safe with my alliances right now. It's honestly a new feeling for me in ORG's. I'm finding myself questioning whether I'm being arrogant or if my position is really as good as it appears to be. I put a lot of work into my relationships in the pre-merge and I feel like my social/strategic bonds couldn't be stronger than they are right now. I just hope it all starts to bare fruit here and I can be a serious winner contender.

Luke is a crackhead confirmed.

He literally is as messy as a Sloppy Joe. His stories literally don't add up in any way, shape, or form. He first began by letting me know that: Karth, Aly, and, Zach are in alliance. (He's basically trying to get me spooked about those three potentially working together in this game. K cool. FINE. Spooked? barely?).

BUT THEN he goes on to say the votes for Stephen Z were 5 to 3 and that Aly voted in the minority... but? if she had this alliance? wouldn't she have known where to fucking vote? Weird, right? Why would she flip on her "alliance" of Zach, Karth, and herself. THEN he proceeds to tell me that Aly flipped between voting out Zach and Stephen all day?

THEN HE TELLS ME... SHE WAS FLIPPING BETWEEN WHERE TO VOTE ALL DAY...

MY DUDE.. IF SHE WAS IN AN ALLIANCE WITH ZACH WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE FLIP FLOP BETWEEN VOTING HIM OUT?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

In conclusion, Luke is too messy for my taste and needs to go.

the end.

OMG I feel so happy we finally merged! I feel like I have options to work with in this merge as I think Zach, Karthik, Jake and Tim could stick together. I also have the option to work with Luke and Jake later on the game as og Kato (I have 0 interest in playing with Alyssa). If I had to choose someone to leave next it would be either Jess, Stephen (Bc I don't know em) or Alyssa who I never trusted. Also the joint tribal was a mess but it ended up going the way I wanted with an og Kato gone. (why do I want an og Kato gone?) well most of them are liars and players, but I don't wanna close the option to play with em, so like the least og Kato members there r the best bc no one would expect that probability. I also reaaally like Ally but I'm not exactly sure if I can trust her.

Well the joint tribal was intense as expected. Glad to have come through it and made the merge without facing much trouble. I learnt a lesson not to trust someone just based on past relationships. I had been looking forward to meet Luke as I have played with him on EM and he is lovely. But the first day we meet on this game he has been going around saying Zach,Ally and me are an alliance that would run this game. Not cool Luke! But I can't blame him for this as he is playing his game. I trusted Ally a lot too but off-late things seem odd with her. She told me she was voting Stephen W but then she tells me that she changed her mind at the last moment as Stephen W told her that he had an idol. I am not sure if I could believe her on this. I cannot feel comfortable anymore in this game and have to start reconsidering my options. I have been on good terms with Tim and I am planning to try and improve on it and be his best buddy. Feel things are gonna get real intense now with the merge and I am hoping I could lay low and somehow survive the next couple of votes and plan from there.

I actually made merge? shook.

I'm not too sure how exactly I am going to navigate this merge at this current moment. If you would have asked me 10 days ago who I would want to work with in the merge I probably would have had a different answer as I currently do. Honestly I found myself working with... Alyssa somehow again. However, I feel like we both know we want to end each other's game but none of us can do it just yet. So that's going to be a problem down the line and It'll be fun to see what happens. However, I'm more worried about ending Stephen's game than I am at ending Alyssa's. This dude has COME TO PLAY. I can see him making it far in this game. You can already tell he's socially connected, strategic, and I'm sure he can bring the physical when needed.

... but... I can't start killing my alliances games just yet. Right now I need to build relationships with everyone and I'm STRUGGLING to do so. I don't know if it's just these people in this game or if it's me? I've been attempting to talk to every single person in this game but.. I'm not getting much. I know this is going to sound horrible but.. trying to socialize with some of these people feels having to go to the dentist. It's unpleasant.. but I have to do it.

To build some sort of trust with certain people... I used what Luke told me about the "alliance" of Zach, Aly, and Karth and let them all know in order to build some trust. However, Alyssa randomly already knew about it (I didn't tell her) and so did Tim? So? Big Mood Energy.

There are rumours of a Kato 2.0 alliance going around currently. I want to end that "alliance" BAD if it really is a thing. However, I really don't want to step on Tim's toes and blindside him. Once I lose Tim's trust in this game I think my game is going to become significantly harder to play. I'm just not too sure what the fuck to do. I'm already flopping hard here.

Well, to the basement once again and it sucks. I never find any luck in stuff like these which makes it terrible. A lot might happen during the merge vote as its an important vote and being left out of it is not so good for me. I can feel that Ally and Stephen have lost some trust in me which makes me sad and worried as I have been considering them as my core allies. I dont feel so good atm and I get a negative vibe which tells me I could go home tonight :(

AHHHH so merge!!! Im so happy I made merge!! Stephen won immunity as well as Alyssa!!  I hope I can survive!!

I find myself in a fast forming majority with Ally, Jess, Stephen, and Alyssa. Ok the flip side I’ve been speaking with Karth, Jake, Miguel a lot and with Tim and Zach a bit. I’m feeling okay right now as no one seems to want me out and it’s looking like I have possible moves to make, the vote is set on Miguel at the moment but by tonight who knows what could happen. Idols are a big risk as well at this point so while I’m feeling safe im also highly nervous. I’ve been to the most tribals of anyone left in the game I believe so I have learned to expect some sort of drama in the last hour or so before tribal that could change the vote entirely so I’m not totally locked into a vote but I have my ideas, we will have to see what happens

i'm NOT FUCKING SURE what's going on. anyway, here's a recap of the past few days. -- STEPHEN VOTE -- stephen's a king, i love him. however, he handled this round very poorly and that got himself booted 100%. i'm happy he's on jury though i don't think i stand much chance at his vote. let me go off about something: i wanted jake out. i was so close to voting jake because i don't trust that kid really and i knew the perception would be "kato 2.0 5 are STRONG" - which it is currently. i'm WOKE! ally even told me this and it's common sense. HOWEVER, stephen threw my name out and basically threatened me (briefly, vaguely) about voting me out and i don't like that. you do not try to get me to flip by threatening to vote me out. that is not how i operate. so to the people who think we're strong - know that's not the case. i dont want to get cocky, but i think i was a swing in this vote (i could've gotten any combo of karthik, tim, and miguel to vote jake with me, or even tied it alone) but i didn't because stephen decided to throw me UTB and luke decided to be messy. stick to ONE STORY, not nineteen.

-- MERGE -- we  made merge. it was really exciting to reach this stage of the game, as well as jury. at least if i get brutally blindsided ever... i'm getting to vote for a winner!!! that's really all i could ask for at this rate. but now that i've accomplished two of my goals, it's time for the next step: winning. i find this cast to be dry. by that, i mean... not super active until the time is appropriate. now, before i get dragged, i understand - why be super active when you don't have to be. but it's just been boring for the most part and no one's really utilizing the 24 hours of freedom to secure bonds (but neither was i so i can't fully complain). i got to reconnect with people & meet others. jess is great, and i missed her so much. stephen is still the same for me - sketchy but fun. alyssa is one of my favs and within minutes of speaking to her i understand why she is a force to be reckoned with. was there someone else... no. so everyone's great. anyway, alyssa and i made a pact to not target each other due to being known as 'big players' or whatever. she might've been stroking my fatass ego but... it worked.

-- IMMUNITY -- when immunity comes around, people are still staggering when it comes to socializing. some people, however, made deals with me. jess/alyssa/karthik/miguel are all legends. if i forgot someone, rip. anyway, i stayed mostly true to my deals, maybe giving it off 1 point value from where i promised. i know that i can easily win this immunity but i kind of don't care and give alissa the +3 (i thought about giving her -3, which means i win - and that would've been the case).  now, before i get voted out tonight and flamed, ill say that i didnt want to win this immunity and it wouldve made me a bigger threat regardless. immunity results happen, and alyssa/stephen win. that's fine. i wasn't planning on voting one of them out this round.

-- TRIBAL -- i have talked about most of this in my conf chat so i'll just regurgitate it: ally told karthik the vote was miguel (or his name was going around). he told me. stephen told tim same news, tim told me. i think this is a decoy vote. why? because why would you tell everyone the vote, especially given that there is fear from multiple people about the Kato 2.0 alliance staying strong (it's not even alliance. BTW, POST -SEASON -- YOU WILL SEE THAT THERE WASN'T AN ALLIANCE.). am i close to them? yea, most of them, but that's the same with any combo of people who are on the same tribe for a few days/rounds. i tell jess about hearing miguels name, she asks who, i leak tims name. this was a mistake because i dont really trust jess 100% but... anyway. coincidentally, after i do this, stephen comes into my pms. he explains that miguels name has been floating around alongside the rumour of kato 2.0 being strong. this would be smart if i was dumb but it's clearly to save face. i'll credit stephen/co. tho. it's smart. i should want to vote out one of the five to secure myself and make the target fade. but have it be known that i don't see the benefit of tim/miguel/karthik leaving this tribal, especially given my target size. it's just odd. i also realize jess told karthik what she told me - about how the rumour of me/ally/karthik are a tight trio - is going around. she told me she was informing me of this info to 'have my back' but girl told other people too so i aint important LOL. alyssa tells me my name is going out now by stephen, and he allegedly has numbers. these numbers would consist of ally/stephen/luke/alyssa/jess + maybe some kato 2.0. i'm worried now. i don't anticipate jess/alyssa would vote me this soon. ally shouldn't. it'd be dumb bc i can leave at any tribal if you dont let me get to like f5/6. but i can't expect these people to always play to their win-con bc they may think their win-con is something different.

so at the moment, i struggle as im full of confusion and stress once again. maybe i should've won immunity (but also i felt like alyssa couldve beaten me easily so i didn't bother). i think the vote could be me, it makes more sense than the vote being someone like miguel (and everyone knowing said information). ill have to reassess the situation soon, but i may idol tonight. i want to trust that the following people wont vote me: alyssa/jess/karthik/tim/miguel - but can i? idk. if i could have my way, one of jake/luke would leave tonight . or stephen but sisters immune so.

this tribal has been so quiet i hate it

miguel’s name has been kinda drifting around the whole time

luke’s name is coming up a bit now

we officially formed ~the samurais~, which is me stephen luke jess and alyssa

and the 5 of us are gonna try to blindside zach

idk how well this is gonna go but i have my fingers crossed !!!!

i will NOT let these kato 2.0 bitches keep dictating votes on my ALLIES!!!! LEAVE LUKE ALONE!!!!!

Miguel is voted out 5-4-1. He becomes the second member of our jury.

[isaacathom]

like, if i were to basically redo it to just be a fun fantasy romp - id take it back to its original sort of time setting rather than having it be urban fantasy. Finley died in an expedition about 10 years earlier, making Crystal and Akian into orphans. theyve basically been living with the D’Lore’s since then, so Akian and Chase being really fucking close makes complete sense (and was likely why they started living wit the d’lores in the first place). in that last decade, like 5 yearsago or so, SKye joins the family after the whole uhhhhh Sorix/Naten situation. my poor boys. so crystal and skye already know each other. they arent super close, mostly because skye’s a moody lil bitch sometimes, but they know each other and are passing friends. crystal works with the d’lore’s apothecary, since the d’lores are like, biiiiiiiig boys. mayors or some shit. big boys. not a king, tho. well, actually, maybe? that could be interesting. or perhaps like a pricipality sorta deal. ill think about it.

since the d’lores are royalty here, kidnapping Akian and Chase (the crown prince boy and his gf) makes complete sense. theyre a perfect ransom and way tohold the entire city/region hostage. its a crisis. skye and crystal, who are really pissed about it, decide to take proactive action. which brings them into contact with Violet, who runs a small library with her “aunt”, Dawn. Violet helps them find some information about some of the weird shit the two reported seeing before their sibs were kidnapped, and gives them a shit ton of advice on what they could do. because violet is the best.

smth smth happens, they come into contact with Will, who is an expedition man just like Finley, and also the guy with th complex relationship with Skye. the three manage to convince Will to take them along into his second trip into a portal he’s discovered north of the town, because violet thinks it’ll have useful info and then begs to come along to see it. sothe 4 go in. suhbitch, its the heaven realm, and here they meet Skye’s mother, Alexa, who has still been dead for 200 years because, lets be clear, Skye’s dad fucked a ghost. fucking crazy. fantasy is wild. and she helps give them some pointers. maybe suggests they head to Quartai, which is the Big Boy Kingdom. a probably more overtly magical/religious place, more info on Ryaris and shit, stuff like that.

the 4 go there. then im not sure how stuff resolves from there. they probably still end up heading to the southern isles, which is an even more Big Magic place that has all these portals. in between then, violet seems to disappear, following an(other) encounter with Princess Alara, angry wind mage of the hour. which isnt great? but thats because Violet realised something was off about Alara (in a way specific to Violet) and she went out alone after the others went to sleep to find her and demand answers, and then, well, shit escalates.

they finally get to the fire realm and find the castle. before they can sneak inside, Alara catches them and promptly kidnaps Crystal, under the rationale that, well, Crystal is actually quartaian royalty, she’ll be a good ransom as well! :) skye and will (and i guess ash if hes just floating around, i dont Know)get tossed in the jail cell with chase and akian. Violet, who has now assumed the position of Princess fucking uhhhhh she has a name. fuck. T- Tacha??? yea ok whatever. Princess Violet’s out here, trying desperately to avoid the consequences of abandoning the group and trying not to get seen by any of them. but after overhearing her mum and sister interrogating Crystal about shit (and probably revealing Crystal’s heritage at that time, tho idk how id tie that shit in proper) Violet decides to stop being a coward. easily talks her way into the jail, frees everyone, get them all their stuff back, and make arrangements with some sympathetic guards that escort the exhausted Chase and Akian to a portal that will plop them out near-ish to the capital city, where they will be quickly found. bonus points if one of the guards, being a local to the area, offers to then personally escort them to the palace and hand them over. if yes, then violet likely gives him something that is proof of divine intervention (like, a symbol that cannot be manufactured by a human? and that is proof that Ryaris was involved and has returned them, smth like that, idk)

then the three of them work together to free crystal from Alara, who is acting as the primary antagonist. Ryaris is getting cold feet like noones fucking business, which is why she hasnt made a single appearance apart from kidnapping the two at the start. Alara’s filled in the rest, in part because Alara can pass for human (shes more a demigod than a minor goddess, in contrast to Violet), and because Alara was a LOT more into the plan from the start. probably using some info they gathered in Quartai or in theheaven world (it definitely has a name, i dont remember it) to convince Alara that, well, no, Dalace is absolutely fucking lying to you, stop it. which is easier than you would think, because Dalace’s lies were revealed the instant Violet returned home.

Part of Dalace’s plan to escape from her imprisonment is to have Ryaris (and her daughter, tho that was a later addition) force a whole bunch of humans into constructing and using portals, which would weaken the seal and also give Dalace more power. then she can break out and wreak havoc. her end of the deal is that, once restored to full power and free, she would bring back Evelyn and Violet. Evelyn being Ryaris’ human wife, who died like 5-6 years prior to the start of the story, and which was actually caused by Dalace in order to force Ryaris’ hand. but that conceit was that Violet and Ryaris were both dead. But Violet is here, perfectly fine, and with 0 trace of any magical interference. Violet was been alive the entire time, just out of Ryaris’ sight and in a different place than where Alara ended up going undercover. essentially a stroke of bad luck.

so, yknow. Violet has overheard Ryaris talking to Dalace, and has already found out about the fact that her revival had been promised. so its like, ‘what proof do you have???’ ‘well, im here, arent i?’ ‘:|||||’ if its then additional that, after violet left the party, the other three found out that Dalace doesn’t have the ability to revive, and that revival as a skill would require the death of Losa (light goddess and just general death lady), they can use that too. combine forces. violet uses her knowledge of the agreement, and the others use their acquired knowledge of the limits of magic. bam. maybe even some prior history, like ‘the stories say that Dalace went mad because everything died in her care. if she could revive the dead, surely this wouldnt have been an issue?’ ‘..... fuck youre right’. i mean they almost definitely have to fight her too because Alara’s a bit of a pain in the ass. people probably almost die. hardcore.

everyone chills out, they go convince ryaris to maybe chill. thats very easy because ryaris literally just wanted to settle down with her wife and two children before shit got messy (and i mean, Same). very easy to convince her off the mess train. but, of course, she’s already done a lot of the damage. the ransom for Akian and Chase has been active for like, at LEAST a week, possibly even more, she’s already reaped a solid chunk and started making good on her promise to Dalace. so the damage has been done. Dalace will get out soon. so they decide like, ok, lets fix it. time to go like, punch her in the face.

and then they beat dalace or reseal her or something. im not sure? dalace’s issues with the world are so deeply seated, her anger so much a part of her, that you cant really turn her good again. and to kill her would be nigh impossible and extremely disastrous. so really its like. do we trap her again but More this time, do we force the gods to actually intervene this time instead of acting through Champions? its rough. a godly intervention would only work if the group had been to each of the realms, because then they’d have met or affected each god in some way. but theyve only been to light and fire worlds. any more than that and it just gets like..... convoluted...... it was the original idea but idk. smaller main cast, makes even less sense. going to the worlds of each of their patrons makes SOME sense??? which then means id need to add a trip to the earth world (perhaps this is where they go from the southern isles. since they dont have a fire portal. and then they lose violet in earht world?). which then only leaves out the water and wind worlds. but the wind goddess is explicitly on Ryaris’ side, having freed Ryaris from her own constraints after a Whole Bunch of Shenanigans. so they dont actually need to convince the wind goddess, Xen i think, to support ryaris. Caliyo, the water goddess, is a little harder to finagle. she doesnt really agree with Ryaris for what i hope are Obvious reasons. in theory keeping Ash as a member of the party would potentially fix that, since he’s an active and practicing water magician prior to meeting the cast, and it’d be fair to guess that she might have a hand in that?in the community he’s from. sort of a mini water realm? Caliyo could also possibly be convincedby like, Losa and....Elra? earth lady. to just maybe think about just fucking talking to Dalace, for fucking once. its been fucking millenia,just talk to her and maybe youll convince her to stop being a shit. idk. Dalace is complicated? and a pain in the butt.

like, if Ash remains part of the squad (which does skew the cast 2:3 male, and 1:3 male when Violet leaves, which Pisses me Off) he can act as throughline to Caliyo. i dont see why not. his community is very much magical. buuuttt you could also potentially get around having him be in the party by having the same connection be present in the Southern Isles, which is a separate magical community that hides away from the continent. and if you think about it, how would you hide an island? other than straight up illusions.mist! caliyo is a perfect patron for the southern isles, thus removing Ash from the story as well in a clean 1 2. which also removes the dragons, which is.... a shame, definitely. big fan of them. but it also makes some sense to remove super overt magic stuff, if people are supposed to believe is superstition or extremely rare. a northern tribe that rely on dragons doesnt gel with that. they can still exist, i guess, but as a completely separate entity. though that does then raise the question of how the party of 4 get from Quartai to the southern isles. in SB, they flew there on the backs of some of Ash’ dragons, which also allowed them to cross the fucking sea between the isles and the coast. unless theres a secret way? like, hey, a secret bridge. use the portals to return back to the capital city, tie up some loose ends (employment and ‘WHERE THE /FUCK/ HAVE YOU BEEN?’ sorts of ends) before heading south to the coast and then trying to find the path across. Skye or will would be good for that, though Violet is also a stellar candidate due to the sheer magnitude of her magic. she’s basically a minor deity. its crazy. it depends on like, narrative usefulness? i guess? like, violet was the one who put them on the path to realise the kidnapper was Divine in some way, and put them in contact with Will. Will got them into fucking Heaven Light World, which got them to quartai, where they were able to get more info (or maybe even skip quartai altogether, tho thats smth else to deal with). so at this stage, crystal and skye’s sole contributions have been to kick the whole thing off. at best, skye mightve suggested they go to a smaller library than the Royal one, since, well, theyre already known to the royal one and the librarian likely tells them to stop bothering everyone and go back home (stay safe from kidnappers, etc). so Skye finding the path to the island, with all that light boy goodness, might work? crystals skillset can then come in handy when they travel to earth world, since she’s an earth mage. she can learn magic and possibly even learn about her heritage there. smth smth. depends how long theyre there.

idk. you can probably remove quartai from the mix altogether??? and have them go straight from Light World to heading south of the capital. does sorta remove the quartai buildup though? with the whole ‘youre the descendant of a runaway prince’ thing. since it justified crystal being removed from the group and likely the first person to find out about violet being a god, which can then feed to like. Shit. theres no other reason to separate out crystal and not, say, Skye. crystal and skye hold identical levels of relevance to thespecific kingdom theyre from. theyre commoners. crystal is in slightly higher regard because akian is practically a princess and even before that her family were good friends with the royals (because, yknow, Finley is a runaway prince who sought refuge in a neighbouring kingdom, lol). skye is just like, some guy, even though he lives in the palace too. theyre just commoners in high esteem of the king. so like, if you were going to separate Crystal out from the group for that, you should also take out Skye, which means in practice youre just chucking Will in a dungeon on his own. which just seems rude. the boy has suffered enough.

the idea was that bringing Crystal into Quartai, a place she has never been but that her father had once promised to take her to (which i can set up). and that by placing her in that environment, maybe even engineering a scenario where she is taken to the royal library (which i guess is like, a public library run by the royals? i dont know) and is spotted by Alara, who has been living in Quartai for the last year or so to gather intel. and, by the nature of how it is, theres royal paintings on the wall showing the late queen, Crystal’s grandmother, and theres an immediate visual connection. Crystal looks just like her dad. someone else (or alara, if it works) might even comment on her being new to quartai with a sort of ‘are you sure youve never been to quartai before? you look like you’d fit right in’ and it couldbe assumed as a personality thing. especially if in terms of personality, crystal doesnt appear to mesh with quartaian society at all. and if the line is by a character with no humour. which means Alara would actually be a perfect fit. it would be a genuine question and observation - Crystal looks Quartaian, whatever that means. while in quartai, they find out its connected to the earth goddess Elra, which helps convince them that they should maybe ask Elra for advice, since she seems like a goddess who has a lot of input and would know about goings on. crystal is then revealed to be an earth mage later (either southern isles or in the earth realm itself) which is like an Ooh boy. you could possibly hammer it further home by, if they DO meet Elra, her confusing Crystal for quartaian royalty. either by assuming she’s a specific Queen (her grandmother) or just a general ‘oh, youre a princess of quartai, then?’ ‘w- no?’ ‘oh? my apologies’. though if elra is going to notice any lineage she’s going to recognize the tall white haired youngster with piercing eyes and an overwhelming magical aura is the daughter of the goddess of fire. so. might distract her?i think it would be too on the nose for Elra to straight up call her out. 

though i could definitely make Crystal not looking local a thing? because she’s not. culturally she is, but both of her parents are full blooded quartaians who fled across the border because Keiran (correctly) anticipated that him marrying a commoner wouldnt go down well. Akian and Crystal both look quartaian. but they also look nothing like Will, who is from another demographic also not native to the kingdom. but his demographic is more prevalent, like there are far larger communities of them. Akian and Crystal just look out of place. Skye technically has a sort of otherworldly quality, but thats partly because his dad fucked a ghost. i cant get over that. but he still looks local enough, because he looks like his mum! and aside from being a ghost of sorts, she was from that kingdom, just 200 years in the past. so theres been drift, and he does look slightly off relative to everyone else, but to an extent you can assume thats just an individual thing. especially since his family is unknown. Akian and Crystal’s parents are known. their apperance is familiar. and that appearance is distinctly foreign. theres no real PROBLEM with that, because theyre good friends with the royal family and have been living in or near them for their whole lives, but its notably. their specific complexion, hair colour, and eye colour? not common ‘round these parts. that sorta thing? could work??? especially if relations with quartai are sorta weird. like..... we’re cool....... but also dont move here? with the exception of Kieran, because the implication is that he’d been a lot friendlier than his mother (and his cousin) and when he comes knocking on the door going ‘listen man i just fled the country can i crash on your couch with my girlfriend for a few days’ the kings like ‘yea dude go ahead. you can explain tomorrow at breakfast. just us’ ‘thanks dude i really appreciate it’. maybe its a quartaian thing. not big fans on these guys. so they just stay in their place and dont leave much. people from this kingdom can come to quartai, sure....... you cant STAY for that long, but you can come visit.......... sure.

which, if quartai is kinda.... i guess just straight up racist??? xenophobic? one or both. if quartai is straight up racist, than crystal’s appearance as a fullblooded quartaian would be quite notable! because its like, oh, youre a local! wait, y- youre NOT a local????? what the fuck do you mean youre not a local????? from - from sp- ok. sure. alright whatever you say lady. move the fuck along then. people see this ragtag group with this one quartaian lady and assume, oh, a local with some friends from out of town. well, if thats the company they want to keep, sure. cause it looks almost correct. it almost makes sense. but then you hear her speak, in a distinctly non-quartaian accent, and its like ‘hold on a sec’ but then she’ll say some words with a quartaian twang, relating to adventure, and you have No idea how to process that. what. its wild. doesnt come across in raw text but, you know.

im sure i can roughly justify going o quartai. theyre a generally more spiritual kingdom, with prominent reverence in a specific goddess who is tied in with the geography and economy (Elra), and the royal family are supposedly her descendants on some level. theyd have more specific information about the gods, the history of their involvement in the world, some shit about Dalace (not in depth, tho, just that she took over at one point and it was a Bad time). it depends how much info they can get from light realm? i mean, they arent REALLY supposed to say much. they arent even really supposed to interact with the living. which does make you go 0>0 at Alexa. hot damn. willing to break big rules for some living dick. legendary.

i mean i feel like its better if they DO go to quartai, because it allows them to encounter Alara, who has basically bribed and conned her way into a position of power through some whack shit and has integrated into the community to get some of the Juicy Information. they can meet her in a safe environment and find that she’s weird, they can learn a bit about shit, crystal being quartaian can be emphasised in a sort of coy way (im a shit writer sooo it probably wouldnt read very coy lol) and there can even be some foreshadowing for Violet’s position as minor fire deity. since thats almost definitely what catches alara’s attention. a tall, light haired individual with burning green eyes and an implaceable aura? fascinating. but when Violet doesn’t catch any of Alara’s references (to like, the gods and shit), Alara assumes she’s mistaken and perhaps she’s just sensing a strange combined aura. its not till later in the earth realm, when they meet as protagonist vs antagonist, that she realizes no, she was right on the money the first time. because at this point in the story, the main cast have actually started using magic, and theyve already found that Violet’s use of magic is effortless. and with their magic unlocked, so to speak, violet’s aura is fucking incredible. none of the others can see it, with the possibly exception of either Will or Skye, depending which way dark/light fall re: seeing shit. but Alara is an incredibly well practiced mage and demigoddess, and she knows how to see it, and violet’s is intense. its unmistakeable. alara isnt 100% sure what if she recognizes the aura, for the simply fact that violet disappeared when they were 9 and alara hadnt learnt to see/feel aura at the time. but she thinks she knows what it means. shes confident that violet is some demigod. which god? unclear. until Violet throws a fireball at her and tells her to fuck off.

the only other possible ways for violet to be a fire demigod and NOT being the daughter of Ryaris, are for her to be the daughter of Xen (goddess of wind) OR be a distant descendant of Ryaris via her mortal parent, who is also her mother, and which might overrule the godly disciple of the godly parent. the latter is nigh impossible because Ryaris has only had two children to her knowledge, unless she blacked out during 200 years exile and accidentally boned down. she’s pretty sure she didnt, though. not that thats a topic that comes up, exactly. but ryaris only has two kids. Alara has no children, and Violet is not the right age to be the daughter of Alara’s sister. she is, however, the approximate age to BE Alara’s sister. so is sheactually, or is it cosmic coincidence that two demigods (the fire/wind twins and someone else) were born around the same time? who knows! alara has no idea. violet doesnt have a damn clue either. ita rough.

uhhh this got very lost VERY fast. uhhh tl;dr return the story to its original full fantasy setting (not urban/modern fantasy). akian is the girlfriend to the prince of a kingdom, with crystal being her sister. skye being in a weird state of being commoner but living with royalty, just like crystal. akian and the prince are kidnapped by Ryaris in order to force the kingdom into an awful ransom agreement whereby they will do a bunch of suspicious shit. crystal and skye believe they saw part of the kidnapping take place, and attempt to get information. after a bunch of the royal staff tell them to stop worrying and go home, they go find a non-royal library run by Dawn and her ‘niece’ Violet, who help them find some info. Violet, being very much in the know, hooks them up with Will, an adventurer and cartographer who is planning a visit to a portal he located north of the city. after a lot of negotiating/arguing, Will agrees to let the three of them come along, and off they go. a whole bunch of shit happens, involving a trip to neighbouring kingdom Quartai, where Crystal is treated strangely in relation to the party and they first meet Alara, posing as a foreign noble who takes an immediate interest in Violet.

more shit, they end up in some hidden magic isles south of the continent, which then leads them to the earth realm, where they seek an audience with the goddess of earth Elra, on how they can get an audience with Ryaris, goddess of fire, and most likely the kidnapper. more shit. alara appears again and they have a brief confrontation. that night, violet disappears. after failing to find her, they resolve to press onwards (leaving fucking missing persons signs all over this foreign land and even informing Elra about it). go to fire realm, get captured by Alara, who separates out Crystal in order to interrogate her about her lineage to confirm a suspicion she has that Crystal is long lost quartaian royalty (si). violet is brought in to help, much to their mutual distress, and then alara kicks violet out for just doing an awful job of forcing crystal to talk.violet then breaks everyone else out of jail, sends Akian and the prince home with some guards she trusts to take them back safely, and then they go rescue Crystal. final showdown with Alara. convince alara that Dalace, goddess of darkness, has been lying out her fucking ass the entire time and cant do anything she promised. alara reluctantly agrees to confront Ryaris about it. Ryaris admits thats all true and that she knew from the start Dalace was a lying piece of shit, but, i mean...... yknow....... your wife dies and you havent seen your daughter in over a decade........ white lies are nice. also alara was the one who got sucked in. its complicated.

then they go ‘aight time to fuck with dalace’ and then i have no idea. probably all the goddesses (who theyve met throughout the story) come and tell dalace to stop being a cunt? roll credits.

[survivorpanem]

EPISODE TWELVE - “I CAN’T COMPENSATE FOR STUPID PEOPLE“ - JAKE

Okay, oh my god. Oh my god. I cannot believe I just survived that vote I'm so glad omfg. I flipped someone who flipped on me I'm SCREAMIng. Idk what you call that but I call it ICONIC. I pulled out ALLLL the receipts to Sam trying to show her why she couldn't trust Isaac and Andrew and why I was the best person to keep. Truthfully, I don't know who would've been her best option to keep, but I needed her to think it was me. So yeah, that was successful, tru. I couldn't flip Isaac like I wanted to, but idk I mean it's probably better that way because it gives me a reason to vote for him and for him to vote for me if I make it to the end. So like I think I have a plan to make it to at least f4. I'm playing my idol this week. Sorry but the blind week is just not working for me, sorry not sorry! I'm gonna use my vote negator on Isaac, and have Sam use her extra vote on Isaac, and have Sam and I vote Isaac. Then have Zack and Sam B vote jakey. That way the vote will be split 3-2-1. If Isaac plays an idol then Jakey goes. If he doesn't have an idol boom he's gone. And I'd tell Isaac I'm voting jakey and Jakey I'm voting Isaac that way at the end of the vote, either way it falls I could tell them I told the truth lmao. I'm playing my idol because in the long run I can't really trust anyone completely like I did that round, I mean Sam flipped when I never expected her to. So like if Isaac plays an idol on himself or wins immunity and Sam and I vote him and like Sam B flips on us and votes with like jakey to take out me the vote would be 2-1 and I'd go home! And a bad, disgusting, but possible even if unlikely scenario would be if Isaac/Jakey won immunity and the other played an idol on themselves. Or who knows they could have stuff from the cornucopia???? Okay so then, at f5 it'd hopefully be Zack, the Sam's, Jakey and myself. I truly do not think Jakey has an idol, I'd be shook if he did when like he was barely online. So like my plan would be for all of us to simply just vote Jakey. That brings me to f4, where I could at least hopefully go to firemaking, but I believe everyone in this f6 is better than me at comps, except maybe Isaac? But I think Isaac needs to go next for sure. Ugh. But yeah I mean that always leaves a possibility for people to vote me out at f5, and there's always the possibility of an idol... I'm gonna try to think about the likelihood of people voting me during this blind round, with all the risks involved. But I think it's a huge risk in itself to not just be safe and play the idol on myself, especially after the heart attack I got from this last tribal. SPEAKING OF THE FUCKING HEART ATTACK ZACKS FUCKING ASSHOLE SELF GAVE ME A PANIC ATTACK!!! He messages me right when tribal council is starting and is like "I'm so sorry" BITCH?? I was like omg what did you vote me and he's like yes I'm sorry but Andrew gave me a better offer you're more of a threat I'm so sorry I didn't wanna tell you on call (Sam B and I had added him to our call after I convinced her to reflip). And I freaked tf out! I was like wtf omg I couldn't even type my hands were S H A K I N G and I couldn't breathe and my heart beat so fast yo it was so bad like omg how fuckin lame is that how gross! And like I couldn't even curse him out in the main chat properly LMAO. Like I'm dyin Zack is so annoying omg lmfaooo oooh he had me fucked up! I think the best person to sit next to come f2 (I'm basically just certain it's gonna be a f2 now which is so ugly bc it decreases my chances so much) would be Sam B just because of how she flip flopped on this vote. Like she was a way bigger threat before the vote but now idk. I feel like Andrew and Isaac would be scorned jurors but eh who knows ugh. I hope the upcoming immunity challenges will be luckier for me despite zacks wild ass comp abilities omg. Ugh I just hope all their threatening competition winning asses take me to the end ugh. But I am glad that I'm at this point in the game with a cast that I love..and zack. JK ZACK ILY HNG. But yeah

Okay I'm pretty sure tribal is in an hour and nobody has talked to me at all. Guess I'm leaving tonight. That's what I get for being a flop ass bitch and flipping and then flipping again on the revote. It's been fun panem.

welp... i guess isaac is stupid as fuck? lksjdgdlfkjh srsly WHO are my ALLIES... HELP!!!! these ppl suck god even worse than i do. so my plan for this round is get sam b and isaac BACK TOGETHER god... and then flip zack to vote out sam g... which i kinda set up last round when i told zack that i'd vote with isaac to get his trust. im still playing zack and i dont wanna go to the end with him but i dont wanna go to the end with sam g or jc either so like... an ideal f3 would be me sam b and isaac. lmao. everyone sucks idk why sam b voted andrew out like god these people are stupid. idk i dont think ill win immunity since its like luck. but christine goddess got me an immunity advantage so thats nicee. im not telling anyone about that shit! it's a blind round which is fun!!!

Okay so I have a little idea brewing in my witch pot brain....what if I go around this week "confiding" in people that I have the idol. Like, I'll start with Sam G and then move to Zack and maybe tell Sam B and maybe even Isaac. I want to tell them because I'm going to be playing my idol this round almost without question...but since it's a blind week none of them will know that I'm playing it! Then come f5 hopefully the remaining people are Zack, the Sam's and Jakey, and all of them would still think I have an idol that I'd most likely be playing on myself, which means none of them would flip on me. As for jakey, I wouldn't tell him I have the idol but hopefully Isaac would've told him after I told Isaac which would make things even more believable if it's coming from another source, so jakey might not even vote me. Idk I think that no matter what people are going to vote me anyway, so there's no harm in adding a possible larger target on my back with this idol if it also has the possibility of protecting me. Not only that but if I confide in people, who knows they might have an idol and confide in me too! Also, I'm going to tell Isaac his best chances of survival would be to vote Jakey. Because if I negate his or jakeys vote and we split it 3-2 that means if Isaac has a vote, he could vote jakey and tie it 3-3. Or, he could be dumb and throw his vote away to someone else. And who knows, on the revote we might keep Isaac, if he stayed loyal maybe it'd be smart to keep him especially because he's not as good at competitions unlike jakey, and it relieves the threat of such a goat (baa) like Jakey. But at the same time he's very good with his words and shit so at f5 he might be able to conjure up some magic to cause drama and flip a vote idk. But I could always keep on persisting saying if Isaac does make it to FTC he deserves to win because we let him make it there when we had majority. This is gonna be an INTERESTING week, know that!

Later...

Okay so I've been strategizing and thinking, and like that whole idea of revealing I had the idol and whatnot and like I don't think it's worth it seeing as it gets revealed that an idol gets played...but idk maybe it's worth it? I don't knowwww. I could always tell them I'm playing the idol tonight, discourage them from flipping on me, but then they'd be like tf why you playing an idol? I might just be a crazy bitch and risk not playing my idol again LMFAO. That'd be so wild. But I think if someone else plays an idol I most definitely would. Yo I wish I had a map of the arena for every bitch left in the arena because after last round I learned you can't trust no bitch! Ugh but like I feel like things will be so much easier if I can just wait til next week to play my idol, what are the chances bitches are gonna flip on me again /right/ after flipping on me last week. Like you'd think they'd have the courtesy to at least wait til the next round, right?? Right????? Probably not. This is allstars after all. Ugh. I need to think of who I want to play my map of the arena on, like who would be the smartest person??? These are the pressing questions.

Later...

Sam G has a map of the arena? INTERESTING. Immediate reaction I'm so happy because this is going to clear up soooo much paranoia. But I am a bit confused because I thought that only one map could be purchased per round, so it wouldn't make sense that she got a map this round because I have the map this round!!! Omfg now Sam B approached me about voting out Sam G, I'm SCREECHING. Like the level of shook I am rn is 10/10. I think it'd probably be smart to take out Sam G since I might be seen as her sidekick or something, but I don't think it'd be smart to do it this round. And not only that but if I did make it to f2 with Sam I feel like I could showcase how I wasn't just second in command but made moves and decisions that she didn't necessarily want like the a Brian and Liana votes. And I got the idol from her clue. Yeah I do think this round it's smartest to vote out jakey, then next round could be either of the Sam's or Isaac. If I can keep my idol until next round like its seeming possible to, then I don't even necessarily have to worry about who comes into f4. Except I do have to worry in that I don't want my ass heading into a firemaking challenge!! I've said it before and I'll say it again, everyone else left in the game is a bigger challenge threat than I am so like?? Fuck. But I think if Sam G comes in to f4 with me they'd be more likely to vote her out over me which is better for me hng. Let's say jakey does leave this round (fingers crossed bih), then  who would I want with me in the f4? I feel like my best case scenario would be the Sam's and Zack, because the Sam's may vote each other and Zack may vote with me hopefully. If Sam G goes home this week, that'd leave an opening for either Sam or Zack to flip with Isaac and jakey, and even though I'd have my idol to protect myself for f5 and take one of them out, I'd still have to worry about f4 and fighting another in a fire making challenge. Idk this is all totally assuming Zack wins like every single immunity too like I'm expecting him to. LIKE ZACK IS AN IMMUNITY QUEEN, GODDDD. But nah damn my girl Sam B is trying real hard to put a move on her jury resume. She's really worried about getting second place again, and I feel her, I don't wanna be last juror again, and I especially don't want to lose this season after everything, so I get her dilemma. But I have to do what's the very best for my game, and I think that's voting out jakey. THATS JUST MY OPINIONNNN (insert that's just my opinion gif). But yeah I gotta keep my eye on Sam B 👀

Whew I almost forgot to do a confessional because I had the sappiest dumb confessional ever but I decided not to send it and thought I did. So anyways here's my confessional... I can't believe it tied because Isaac couldn't make up his mind. I feel really bad about Andrew but the more I think about it the more I shouldn't care. He never really talked to me at all about this game until his ass was on the line and then when I tried to help him he still threw his vote to me when it could have gone to someone else in case Jaiden played an idol. So this vote is the last vote to play anything I'm pretty sure so IF THERE IS AN IDOL it'll probably be played tonight. I'm playing my extra vote and my second map of the arena (I love my sponsors honestly <3) and Jaiden is playing his vote negator. If the two of us vote together the worst thing that'll happen is that we tie and have to vote again. Hopefully everyone's telling the truth but I don't know this whole merge has just felt too easy. I know there have been a few snags but I don't know something about getting here has felt too easy and I'm too calm so I feel like I'm about to get blindsided tonight. I really wanna make it past tonight though because then I'll beat my Atlantis placement!!

I am soooo torn. Once again. Okay so I am in a 4 person alliance with Jc, Zack, and Sam G. On the other side, I have a final 2 with both Jakey and Isaac. I want Sam G out. But nobody on her side wants to go after her. And there are no numbers without them. That alliance wants to split the vote tonight with 2 on Jakey and 2 on Isaac. What they don't know is that Jakey is playing his idol so his votes will be cancelled. Isaac and Jakey are voting out Sam G, but Jc is using his vote negator on Isaac so it'll just be 1 vote for her. So left we have 3 votes: mine, jakey's and jc's (because jc is voting isaac and zack and sam g are voting jakey which will be cancelled with his idol). Confusing, I know. So Jc and I are supposed to vote out Isaac, and Jakey is voting for Sam G. However I have the opportunity to flip (again) and vote out Sam G. This is what I want. But I am sooo worried about Jc and Zack finding out. Idk how the blind tribal will go, if they will announce that Jc is cancelling a vote or if Jakey is playing an idol. I feel a lot more stress than I did the last blind tribal, that allowed my target to leave and let me keep playing the middle. But this one is definitely going to hurt that. My dream scenario would be Sam G leaving and nobody knowing I flipped and then I have the option to choose between Jc and Zack or Isaac and Jakey. I am praying for this next immunity. If I don't leave tonight (you never know in games like this). I wish I had an idol, or even better a super idol. But I'm just trying to really rely on my social game and my gut at this point. I hope it all works out. And I'm also worried about a vote sneak of my vote just because I did flip last week so I seem untrustworthy, which is why I am going to wait until 3 minutes before votes are due to submit, just so nobody has time to switch their votes to me, if they haven't already done so. Yikes I am nervous whew.

stupid #1 - isaac do i even have to explain like Why did he vote for sam b when she was literally flipping to us ?? i'm like... i can't even process this bc how can i play a game with people like him like it's impossible i can't compensate for stupid people stupid #2 - sam b oh god this girl is a mess. i cant believe she voted out andrew just bc she was mad at isaac or whatever. like yeah he's fucking stupid but u just ruined your own game?? she can't beat jc sam or zack so idk what the fuck her goal is. she's also fucking stupid and if i wasn't drunk i might have knocked some sense into her stupid #3 - zack taking immunity from me even tho he didn't need it and painting a huge target on his back for no reason and fucking over a tight alliance he had with me... it's like do these people even know what survivor is??? how did u pick this "all stars" cast honestly kass voice id like to see that data stupid #4 - sam b honestly who is this bc she never talks to me and i try so hard to start a convo with her and she's just so boring god. apparently her own alliance wants to vote her out so what's her deal??? stupid #5 - Jc he's the least stupid bc honestly i think he's playing the best game out of everyone so i hope he wins if i can't at this point. but i'm not giving him too much credit bc he's only here bc certain individuals are literally STUPID and that is all

Later...

i think im going this round! bc zack is an idiot lmaoooo but whatever cant wait to vote for JC to win!!! lol this game is so boring and literally they all suck. im playing on idol paranoia and the fact that i have finals all of this week and have no time to play immunity but yeah it doesnt look good. Yikes.

UGH IM SO #PARANOID WHY DO I KEEP HAVING THE IDEA OF NOT PLAYING MY IDOL WHATS WRONG WITH ME I SHOULD JUST PLAY IT BEFORE MY ASS GETS CHOPPED FUCK

My favorite thing is how Jc and Sam G have convinced Zack that he has a chance of winning. He hasn't done anything this whole game besides been Jc's lapdog and win immunities like bye.  So this round the other side is splitting it's votes against me and Jakey and expect us to vote against each other so the expect the vote should be like 3-3 but Jc is negating my vote apparently so it's 3-2 but me and Jakey are voting Sam G so it's more 2-2-1 and Sam B isn't voting me and is voting Sam G so it should be 2-2-1 but Jakey also has the idol? So it should be 2-1 with Sam G going home hopefully. I don't want to give up playing this game I've worked too hard for too long to give up. This confessional is really choppy and is bouncing from one topic to another, sorry. I don't understand why Jc wants to keep Sam G when she's literally going to win if she gets to the end. The bitch had a successful idol play. Like?

I'm so sick and just want to go to bed but these fucking bitches had to pick tonight of all nights to try to blindside me. Now I gotta do work

hieeeee! SO. its revote time and i know what i'm doing! but anyways.. i still have my idol and if i use it on me next round im guaranteed 5th place (i think?) so hi WIG! let me go revote now.. this has been a long ass round.

If I'm gunna go I'm going out swinging! I've always tried to stay nice and polite while people are voting me out just in case I can flip but obviously these people are fucking dumbasses and I hope my favorite player ever JC slits all their throats and gets to the end

Later...

ifvdjskd so apparently Isaac and Sam B locked in their votes for me and Zack already said he'd go to rocks so like if JC doesn't go to rocks for me I'm gunna be so mad because I would go for them! If Zack is willing to go to rocks for me and JC isn't Zack 100% has my vote in the finals if he's there even if he's against JC omg JC BETTER DO THIS FOR ME