#and obviously if you were to bring it up to them theyd be like

[wtylas]

i think the time has come to gatekeep hinduism from the greek myth "fandom"

[helloimaweirdo]

Double life,, 2!!!!!!!

I was bored and decided to re-roll double life soulmates and see if i could think of anything fun with these new pairs

so i took the double life cast plus Skizz, Lizzie, Mumbo and Gem because i wanted to include everyone

(i know that Gem was only in one session but we had an odd number and shes a lifer to me)

the pairs generated was

Joel and Lizzie (im not kidding)

Skizz and Mumbo

Pearl and Tango (it rolled Pearl and Scott first but i didnt want any doubles so i rerolled it)

Ren and Grian

Cleo and Etho (omg theyre back together...)

Scar and Bdubs

Jimmy and Scott (flower husbands,,,,)

Impulse and Martyn

Gem and BigB

now theres some absolute gems in this

first things first, the true soulmates: Joel and Lizzie

they were the first thing i rolled and it was so perfect omg,,,,,, obviously they are the power couple, the girlboss malewife. very chaotic duo and possibly a bit dangerous

next up: Skizz and Mumbo

now because those two dont interaact like at all from my knowledge i cant say much for sure, but i feel like the two of them would make a very fun team. with Skizz's impulsiveness and Mumbos redstone abilities i feel they could do some very fun stuff. I dont think theyd get very far but theyre here for a fun time, not a long time

Pearl and Tango

this one is kinda interesting. we have established that Pearl is crazy, we know that, but Tango is too just in a completely different way. Pearl doesnt beat around the bush much, she there and you know it. while Tango often works in the back seat in the middle of some crazy plot like Dare to Flare, Bet your life, or bringing a warden to the surface. combine these two and youd get some fun results.

Ren and Grian

first thing that came to mind: the dramatics. Grian is the known war starter and Ren is known roleplayer, do i need to make it obvious??? they would be SO fun to watch. Just by thinking about im upset that this isnt already a thing, god. I feel their shenanigans would be on par with the Bad Boys.

Cleo and Etho

if limited life taught us anything its that these two = divorce and im so here for that. this feels as if it be Cloe + Martyn Version 2. and considering and Etho on his own is a bit more pathetic then Martyn it would be very pitiful to watch. Cleo would be out girlbossing(as they do) and Etho would be struggling to do much, that or Etho would be also fine on his own but i think itd be better if he were a little pathetic yk

Scar and Bdubs

these two are impulsive idiots and would do nothing but enable each other and im so here for it. they would go on a million different mini mission in a single session. youd get whiplash from watching them. but i feel like this would make them either very dangerous or not threatening at all. who knows

Jimmy and Scott

flower husbands. what more do i have to say? Scott would be the pro player that he is while jimmy does nothing but get himself killed. theyd make an okay team is third life is anything to go by. i feel Scotts skills at the game and Jimmy's lack of would just balence themselves out a bit. who knows, maybe Jimmy would be the second one to die with a soulmate like Scott

Impulse and Martyn

a southlanders duo! these two were hilarious back in last life and they would be again. theyd make a pretty decent team i think. I mean these two were top two in limited life. theyd be a good mix of shenanigans and actual decent plays, a very good balance i think

and last but not least Gem and BigB

now this ones a thinker because Gem was only ever in one session of the game and did not once interact with BigB(if im remembering correctly) but going on assumptions i think these two would make a great team. first of all i think theyd be semi-wholesome. with Gems cottagecore vibes and BigBs general BigB-ness i think theyd be very cute. but also quite dangerous. Gem is a known PvPer (GeminiSlay!) and BigB makes his own good plays fairly often as well. Otherall very cute, but threatening team

this was a fun thinking exercise

and i want to hear your thoughts in the notes!!!!!

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

may i request sniperscout angst, specifically hcs about how theyd handle eachotjers deaths in a no-respawn au

SniperScout Angst Headcanons (No Respawn AU)

————————————————————

Of course you can! Even though it breaks my heart because I love Sniperscout sm 😭 Also almost back to back Scout angst, what did this man do to you people?

————————————————————

Uh, a little off-topic, but I feel like Sniper and Scout are Nick and Gatsby, I don't know. Is that weird? Like sure, we know Sniper talks to his parents, but I feel like his mom would be the only one to come while Scout planned the entire funeral. Anyway, on to the actual headcanons!

————————————————————

Scout locked himself in Snipers van. Bearly eating or drinking, he won't talk to anyone. He just lays on the bed, holding on to anything that could remind him of Sniper. He's not even just heartbroken. It's more than that. It's like his soul was ripped out of his body. He just wants to be able to hold him one more time, to tell him he loves him one more time, to live the life they were supposed to, just one more time. He keeps his hat and sunglasses close at all times. He never let's them go, and no one is ever allowed to touch them. He even attaches his van keys to his dog tags.

Once he gets back to normal, or as normal as he could be after losing someone who meant so much to him, he's ruthless in battle. Every kill he gets is for Sniper. Everything he does is for Sniper. He also goes to either his grave or where his ashes are kept after every battle, bringing a gift of some kind to place next to him, and then telling him about the day he had.

"I really gave them hell to day Snipes. You should have seen it." He let's out a sigh and kisses the top of the urn/gravestone.

————————————————————

Sniper would also lock himself in his van. It's never been so cold, so empty, so forgin to Sniper. Scout had added a sense of life to the van, and that was extinguished the day he died. He misses Scout's jokes, his smile, his laugh, and just everything Scout did. He made the world brighter for Sniper. He really just feels lost. He's never really felt a pain like this. He can barely breathe most days, and if you thought he was quiet before, he's dead silent now. He took Scout's dogtags, and he wears them every day.

Eventually, he gets the willpower to join the battle again. He's never gotten more kills in his life. Blood has stained the field more than ever. He visualizes every enemy as the one who killed Scout. He pours all his anger and sadness into his job. He visits the grave/urn a lot, knowing this is the closest he'll be to Scout ever again, so he spends most of his time near the urn or grave.

"I miss ya more than words can say." He says. (He also kisses the gravestone/urn)

————————————————————

OUGH HAPPY TIME BECAUSE I NEED TO ADD IT OR I'LL CRY!!! Basically, how they react if Medic brought them back (before being cremated or buried, obviously)

————————————————————

Scout is immediately throwing himself on Sniper, holding him tighter than humanly possible. Babbling about how he'll never let him go again, tears flowing freely as he jokes that if Sniper ever pulls a stunt like that, Scout will be his cause of death. Scout probably smothered this man with jokes, kisses, and cuddles that entire night. He's so thankful he got a second chance, and he makes sure Sniper knows that Scout will never take a moment with him for granted again.

————————————————————

Sniper runs up to Scout, asking him a million and one questions, all basically asking the same thing. Are you okay? And to Snipers relief, Scout is better than okay. Sniper is crying under his glasses, Scout only reaches up to pull them off and kiss his face. He hugs Scout so tight he knocks the air out of his lungs. Scout, let's out a soft chuckle, hugging him back. Sniper spends the night being the most emotional he's ever been. These two love each other so much it's insane.

————————————————————

Uh, the end! Ough I hope you don't mind the happy ending Anon. I'm a sucker for sweet endings :,) I hope you guys liked this, and I feel really hyped, i think I'm finally back into writing again, I missed it. I think I wore myself out for a hot minute, but I'm back! Anyways, hopefully, at least one or two new posts after this :)

Love you guys, and thank you for being patient with me 💖💖

[musubiki]

I always wondered how the gang reacts when mochi comes back!!! I bet lime would be on her side at all times to make sure she doesn't disappear again, watching her sleep, following her around the house, then mochi has to go to the bathroom and he's anxiously waiting lmao

strangely the first person to know shes back is taffy!!! when she decides to hunt down the guild again, she goes to sulluvan to find out their approximate location. her plan was to find the others first, and lime last, so she could (hopefully) get from them a little temperature check on how lime would feel about all of it

(by that i mean she was very worried about whether or not he would want to see her. she realizes what she did was a very jerk move, and if he was moved on and happy without her (married with a kid or something) then she didnt want to interfere with that, even by just showing up. so she wanted to check with oscar and coco if theyd kept in contact with him, and how hes been/if looking for him is a good idea)

sulluvan gives her the locations of taffy/coco/oscar, but tells her to hold off on lime if shes not going straight to him first. "That boy moves around quite a bit. Unless you're going to see him right now, he'd be somewhere else entirely by the time you got around to him," he tells her.

taffy is the first to see her. she went to coco and taffy first, and while she was standing outside their apartment building thinking about what she wants to say, taffy comes home. he is the MOST calm out of all of them. (granted knew her the shortest and therefore wasnt as close to her as the others). when he brings her upstairs to their apartment and coco sees her, she tackles her to the floor and straight up starts weeping. (and then grabs pom and manhandles her as well)

oscar had a similar reaction. the kind you would have after a chance encounter with a friend after a long time. a lot of "Oh my god!!!!" and tight hugs!! obviously all of them are thrilled to get back into guild work, they were getting bored of their current lives (oscar timeskip story currently pending)

when she asks them about lime, oscar and coco just kinda give each other a knowing look, take a moment to reflect about his down bad ass and what hes been doing for the last 3 years, before finally going "Yeah I honestly think he'd be down to rejoin." "Yeah echoing that. Hes not doing anything useful." (they both know about his m34th work. coco whispers to oscar "Should we tell her?" and he replies "Isn't it more entertaining if she finds out organically?")

when they find lime, hes in the middle of a mission. doing something something i dont know, its combat though. fighting the giant tree monsters on the far edge of the giants thicket since they were terrorizing the farmers in the area. at first he didnt even realize it was her, it just seemed like some npc pedestrian caught up in the fight. doesnt even turn to look at her, just yells something generic like "Get back to the village, I can handle this!!"

and at first mochi didnt even register what the hell he was wearing, but she knew his voice and stature and the unmistakeable hair color. shocked at that response (i think she knew he didnt know it was her), she probably yells something at him to get his attention

and he recognizes her voice as soon at it comes out. it takes him a couple seconds to even process what he just heard enough to turn around, and honestly when he sees her, he thinks hes hallucinating. "...I'm losing my fucking mind, apparently." he thinks. "Illusion spell? No, what the fuck? That doesn't work on me. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night? I've never hallucinated like that before though. Maybe its some shape shifter something. Can those also mimic voices?--" just a sample of the 100 different thoughts he has in about 1 second.

but when he hears her again, a soft little "H...Hi Lime-!" that is barely even audible over the current atmosphere, he doesnt care. it could be some trick, who knows? I dont, he thinks, thats mochi.

let me tell you this boy SPRINTS to her. the amount of force in his embrace is honestly a little terrifying. mochi started sobbing instantly. No words even said, beyond a soft "Hi mochi." he mumbles into her neck. but her tears soak into his shoulder and they stay like that for god knows how long. It takes coco zipping back like "Uhhh hey sorry to interrupt soft moment but we've been holding off the tree monsters for a few minutes and oscar is getting whacked like a ragdoll soooo--"

(even then it takes lime a bit to let her go LMFAO!!! mochi is like "Oh no! Poor oscar!" and when she tries to let go lime is just LOCKED on her. "No. Not yet. He'll be fine." his voice muffles out as hes squeezing her against him. it takes a few whacks to his arm and a lot of "LIME BE SERIOUS!!" for him to very begrudgingly let her go)

but youre right hes definitely a bit clingy afterwards. maybe not in the most direct way, but he constantly has an eye on her/is standing close/wont let her go somewhere by herself kind of thing (which mochi is very happy with because she misses him like crazy. honestly shes a little nervous talking to him because shes worried they wont be like they used to, but the more they converse the more shes like "Oh hes the same as always....good.")

[ceasarslegion]

Im thinking of keira again oh no

She was so incredibly smart that she stopped fighting us on taking her painkillers when she realized that her joints would stop hurting if she ate the weird pill in her dinner too instead of spitting it out

And one time she ate an entire box of 24 wax candles after meticulously opening the box they came in, and then somehow put the box back on the counter as if we wouldnt notice the CANDLES WERE GONE

She was trained incredibly well, never barked unless something startled her or she was telling someone to knock it off, was very gentle with everybody, even let little toddlers win tug of war with her (when she was a viciously powerful tugger who refused to lose with the grown ups). She even had her own little language. There was distinct difference in her playing growls and her angry or warning growls. She would play bite while wrestling but would never bite down, just a little hold in her mouth. If she bit by accident at all she would stop immediately and lick you all over the place she bit by mistake to say sorry, and we taught her the phrase "im sorry" for when we accidentally bumped into or stepped on her so she never took it personally and would go right back to sunbathing instead of looking at you with betrayal. She also liked to go with my little sister to play so that she could protect her, only to end up stealing the neighbourhood kids tennis balls and bringing them home because they were her favourite ball to play fetch with. Thief! Thief!

She loved the smell of babies and would poke her snoot into strollers to go sniffsniffsniff at them, and then would like to make them laugh by licking their little faces.

She also loved water so much, because she was a lab. We never had any trouble bathing her because she heard the shower go and would perk up like "for me??? Water for me????? Bath time???? :D" and jump right in. I used to take her out to the beach that was right where we lived in abu dhabi to go swimming together. She loved to run in the sand and jump in the water with all my high school friends and i. And then we would towel dry her as best we could and let her lay on her beach towel with her toys while we uh, totally legally drank at the correct age to do so and generally did high school boy things.

She loved cats. Absolutely adored cats. She played nicely with them and always wanted to be friends. The neighbourhood strays did not appreciate this as much. Many times happened where she approached a stray with "play? Friend??" dog body language, only to get hissed at and then look at me with big sad eyes like "why wont it be my friend? 🥺" she hated other dogs though. She never ever liked other dogs. We think something may have happened with another dog before we got her. She had this best friend in a neighbourhood stray who always came to visit our backyard and would like, politely sit there like it was asking if keira could come out and play. Keira would always run up to wherever we were with her tail wagging and lead us to the yard where the cat was sitting. They played so nicely together, theyd usually take turns chasing each other in circles and then lay down together when they got tuckered out.

Obviously i walked her on a leash but she never needed one, she would never stray out of our sight. She also loved stuffed animals, just to cuddle with. She had the giant ikea dog that she carried around with her everywhere and it got so stinky with dog drool that whenever we washed it she would sit in front of the washer and dryer and pout for the rest of the day. It was her favourite toy and definitely a comfort object. Every other toy she destroyed on sight in typical labrador fashion, but not stuffed animals.

She also had her chair. It was a black leather recliner that was her chair. She always hopped on it and curled up and took naps on it. She loved her chair, it was her main spot and came with us throughout every move we made with her because she loved it so much. It was the perfect proportion for a dog of her size to curl up in the seat of and rest her head on the arm of like a pillow. My parents said they couldnt bring themselves to get rid of keiras chair until nearly a year after we had to put her down

She had such a rich life for a pup that started as a rescue from an abusive owner. She saw multiple continents and multiple countries, made so many new friends, explored more of the world with her nose than most humans do in their lifetimes, and made so many fun memories.

I couldnt be there when she died. I was in my last year of uni about to graduate on the other side of the world. I kinda knew it was coming though, thats why i took a video of the last walk i took her on before i flew back to toronto that semester. You dont spend 16 years growing up alongside a dog without kinda knowing intuitively when these things are about to happen. I miss her a lot though, and i wanna get a tattoo of a black lab swimming at some point because of how much she loved to swim.

She was the best dog i ever could have grown up with, and no other will ever compare to her or replace her for me. I hope one day i'll be healed enough to take another pup into my life, but im still in the process of moving on from her. Its been a really long and arduous grief period that i feel isnt gonna let up for a while yet.

[spotsupstuff]

Suns is such a bizarre thing actually i have a better grasp on who Wind and Innocence are than fucking Suns. why are they like that. what happened to you. why do you speak like that, baby boy, whats going on in those neurons, baby girl, have you gone bababooya, you thembo? -smacks desk- whas happening to you. answer.

because its strange. back in 2021 i thought they were going to be this cynical but somewhat reliable dude with a respectfully sized well of knowledge. that they were going to be red and even though they gave up on most of everything, they were strong in a way. because they were there to explain things to Pebbles. they were someone he could lean on, he trusted and felt comfortable about- so obviously they were also the opposite of overprotective. because thats what Pebbles needed and because its the polar opposite to who Moon is quite a bit

then Downpour came out and i saw they were yellow and how they spoke with Nish. i am gripped by color theory and what a hue signals about a character to brain, so i came to the conclusion that Suns is an awkward anxious thing who really cant do emotions to save their life. probably has nervous breakdowns every other other hour

but Now im looking at them differently again- im thinking about how RW is filled with opposites. Moon's structure glows blue, Pebbles' glows yellow- their overseer colors are each others. a pinkish red slugcat (Hunter) helps the blue Iterator, a blue slugcat (Rivulet) helps the pink Iterator. one brings life, other brings death to their respective goals. and then we have a Moon and a Sun characters- two most important people to the Iterator we could argue is in a way the main character of RW. the Moon is warm, the Sun is cold, i realize- maybe thats what Suns is supposed to be. they are the opposite to Moon in the sense that they are emotionally cold, they dont really get angry. rather theyd accept cynicism. Moon is optimistic, Suns is sorta a pessimist. Suns is what Pebbles gravitated towards, disregarding Moon. but you do need the Moon for planet's ecosystem and atmosphere, just like you need the Sun

that doesnt mean that Suns doesnt Love the people around them- they do, they most likely love to see the life all around them but they might be ignorant to it until something drastically changes that scares them

basically after two months of pondering ive come to the well accepted conclusion that Suns is actually the biggest dumb fuck that has ever dumb fucked around. bro as a vision impaired individual to apparently another vision impaired individual, how'd you not see that comin, you yellow pasta disaster

anyway, Nish to me is a mix of Sans Undertale and Miguel from The Road to El Dorado colored in green. I Know What You Are, Videocult 👁

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

am sick so if you'd like to speak some suitehearts/killjoys thoughts to me i would love to hear them :P

im sorry ur not feeling well :(( heres a (too goddamn long sorry) summary of all the suitehearts Thoughts i was struck with in latin earlier to hopefully make you feel a bit better <33

so first i was just thinking abt Benz and how hed get roped into the show via threats from bli and then i was like ohhh okay what if they offer him a lab space/equipment to do whatever experiments/research he wants if they agree to being on the show. bc like at this point its abundantly clear that hes not gonna work for them by making new drugs as originally planned but they dont want to risk losing his potential (and they wanna show that theyre still fucking in control) so they make them this "deal" (which theyve really got no other option to take if they dont wanna die) and he gets this lab and figures he can find a way of counteracting blis bullshit sort of in secret bc he knows hes never gonna be able to get this equipment anywhere else

AND THEN i started thinking abt how this would effect his relationship with everyone else on the show (namely Sandman and Donnie bc Crab atp basically just exists off set in a drugged up haze) and i started thinking that maybe thered be some tension there bc the others are either poor or poor AND heavily demoted from past positions of power, and they look at Benz with his higher education and seemingly wealthy lifestyle and they think hes an enthusiastic participant in the system thats fucked them both over. so maybe theyre both kinda dicks to them off set but im thinking Benz doesn't really care bc he doesnt hang around much anyways if they arent filming- hes gotta spend every possible second in the lab yk? and then i started thinking about what might push them all to really talk and become friends which led to THE fucking idea ever

so one day Sandy and Donnie are looking for Benz in his dressing room bc they were supposed to start filming like fifteen fucking minutes ago god Benz this isnt just your show stop being so fucking selfish and come do your job- but they stop as just outside the door as they very clearly hear Benz arguing with someone important and they're saying something about a deal? and Benz sounds pissed saying this wasnt in the agreement and they said he could research whatever he wanted and they cant just do this- if they take this from him hes done. he's walking. they already took everything else from him so if they dont let him have this then hes off the fucking show and they can just try and catch him when he runs. and Whoever theyre talking to is just like "lolz okay well if you're leaving guess were gonna have to recast everyone for 'consistency' so i guess all the others have no reason to be kept around anymore-" and its like. a VERY clear threat on the rest of the Suitehearts' lives and Benz fucking freaks out. he backtracks immediately apologizes for speaking out says they can take his research he doesnt care jesus just dont bring them into this they didnt even do anything

so then Sandy and Donnie are like "ohhh What The Fuck :D" and they kinda feel like assholes for making assumptions bc clearly this isnt the first time Benz has been threatened (and its very much implied that blis gone through with last threats when he wasnt compliant) and theyve both already had their own shit building up and their hatred for bli was already basically at the tipping point already so yeah. they confront Benz and Benz tells him that theyd been trying to develop a sort of blocker for bli's pills. something people in the city can take to negate their effects. he didnt even know if it was possible or if he was on the right track with his research but apparently bes gotten close enough to something for bli to have to step in now. and the other two are obviously like ?????? WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU LITERALLY INVENTED A WAY TO FREE PEOPLE FROM BLIS CONTROL WHAT THE SHIT WE HAVE TO HELP YOU SAVE THAT SHIT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

and Benz is all like "well technically idk if ive invented shit yet bc i haven't actually tested the drug on anyone" and the others are like "bet okay you need a test subject? lets yoink Crab". Benz is incredibly fucking against doing that bc Consent and Ethics. he lets it slip that he does have a stash of the drug already made and hidden in his apartment and hes just gonna test the shit on himself but Sandy and Donnie are noooot fucking having it bc "dude. you understand they arent gonna let you go after this right? even if they keep you alive, they are gonna start tightening the reigns and pumping you full of shit and then youre gonna be the one who needs the blockers" and yeah they really do have a point there so Benz agrees to join them on the escape plan theyve been devising (which side note. yeah those two were planning on running away together anyways but thats a different post probably-) and what follows is the most stressful fucking two weeks of all of their lives as they start discreetly gathering the shit theyll need to leave all while having to wrap filming this season and dealing with management watching their every fucking move and making vague ominous comments about "the future of their careers" AND theyre slipping Crab these new fucking pills and having to keep a close eye on them and keep them calm as theyre slowing coming out of their trance and realizing Oh Fuck Im In The City

and then like. it all comes to a head and they very publicly are chased by a bunch of crows in costume bc they end up having to fin in the middle of filming and i havent thought much abt this lart yet so yeah. thats what i spent all of latin thinking abt I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON KAZ <333

[meat-pvppet]

just gonna talk about my vessel guy, archive vessel, real quick cuz i never talked about him that much and i dont wanna bother my friends with my oc chatter

these are mostly disconnected thoughts vaguely strewn together that steered up cuz i listened to the man on the internet broken vessel theme with lyrics

ALOT under the cut be warned

anyway archive vessel's a really mild-mannered little guy, a little socially anxious and awkward cuz obviously, and kinda just hangs out despite everything, fucking around in the archives and keeping themselves occupied by reading whatever was left behind and trying to maintain the place once they found it

it kinda started to idealize the idea of family and friends through what they could read and they started to wish they could have that

be a big ol normal family with their siblings and parents

maybe they could have made friends too

be a kid

but they realize that, obviously, due to the nature of their conception and just

what they are

its not really possible

but that doesnt stop them from wanting that

i can imagine they hold a lot of resentment towards their father for abandoning so very many of its siblings to die in the abyss

theyd probably understand why

he had a kingdom to protect and he believed this was the only way

but that doesnt mean they would forgive what was done

they hate how they cant help but feel

cheated at life, yaknow

done in by something they couldnt change

and after its cursed conception, to simply be cast aside to rot among the corpses of its siblings...

their anger is painful to them, like something lashing out violently in a cage barely holding it in

it wants to lash out at those that hurt them, but obviously thats not possible

so it just

festers like that

mind you, they wouldn't take that out on their siblings

they were put into the same situation as it, so it isn't fair to them or itself

at most, they treat their siblings like the most precious scrolls in the archives

theyd also just

put in alot of their time to gather the bodies of their siblings that were able to escape the abyss but died anyway

make proper "graves" for it to just

grieve

even though they never knew them

they just wish they couldve found and helped them earlier, but at the least it finds peace in giving them proper resting places

i feel like their shade wouldn't have the same restrain they usually have with their anger and would probably violently attack anything that comes too close so uh

itd be a really big hassle to try n get them back in their shell if ever it got cracked open like an egg

theyd also act like this if they were ever able to meet pk after everything like in those aus

theyd still have some restraint cuz

yeag

but they just

are not handling it well™

theyd meet him once and never want to see him again until they can find it in themselves not to wish to hurt him

shell would crack (moreso than it already is) under the pure stress

they wish to yell, to hurt, to let out all these pent up emotion

but it wont

despite everything, when meeting pk again, it'll find it unfair

i mean

everything pk did to them and their siblings was unfair but

archive vessel cant bring himself to make it "fair" by letting all that resentment out like that

doesnt feel right

if ever they were forced to continuously interact with pk theyd keep it as brief as possible and treat him like a stranger-it-has-to-be-around most of the time

if pk were to try to like

be a dad to the archive vessel itd just be

very uncomfortable and awkward, cringing away from touch and, again, keeping things as brief as possible

which may hurt pk (if he cares cuz note my characterization of pk isnt fully done cooking so im not sure if he'd even be interested in doing any of this it might be more likely he never interacts with archive tbh) cuz with other people showing affection to archive, they eat that shit up but with pk itd just

naw

generally, they dont wanna be around him for too long cuz then it'll need to actually feel the things they feel at full force and feeling things is kinda cringe to them

they hate how intensely they feel sometimes cuz of just how painful it is for them (projecting /hj)

equally so, they also hate bothering people with shit like that cuz "i survived until now, everyone else has their own problems and issues and struggles, i dont need to add on to what theyve got" (projecting /hj)

[okthatsgreat]

i am GRABBING YOU and SHAKING YOU. did you know your mikane is the craziest. did you. did you know that. last chapter drove me so far up the wall i am still yet to calmndown...... poor mikan. imagine ur emotionally repressed gf runs away again only for two children w the exact same problem to come barging through your door.

i have so many things to ask........ but i shan't ask them all. please please tell me anything about ur ideas for mikane in general or in oppdmh bc they're the most crazy insane yuri ever. OH RIGHT YEAH AND. the actual question. obviously opddmh mikan still struggles with anxiety, but how do you think she's changed in mentality and issues after everything that came after danganronpa? any issues outgrown or gained? morphed in some way? love ur work so much every time. u made me pause my utena rewatch and that is such a big compliment u do not even know

GRABS YOU SHAKES YOUSHAKESYOU SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU

talking about this fic, as always putting the answer under read more for people who dont wanna read lol!!!!!!!

OHHH MY GOD IM INSANE ABOUT THEMM. went into this fic knowing that i wanted mikan and akane to have their own povs because i thought theyd bring different perspectives, especially in comparison to makoto's pov. i knew what i wanted mikans story to involve and i had a vague idea about akanes (fun fact rantaro was originally gonna be kaito LOL) and then like two chapters into writing mikans point of view i was like waiiiitttt a minute. wait a minute hold on. what if they were in love. and what if they were so not normal about it

it made so much sense for the story i wanted both of them to tell that immediately i went into my notes and started pivoting a few things LMFAO. i just think that their relationship (or their pining at least lol) is able to neatly underline some of their core themes/issues in this fic, whether that be for better or for worse. through the lens of their relationship im hoping to convey mikan's sheer capacity of worry and insecurity, how she finds it difficult to move through life without another person to rely on even if she has done a bit of growing since the simulator and how that dependency affects her. and then of course akane's emotional repression is highlighted through their relationship (her forgetfulness, her inability to communicate, LEAVING all of the time), but also it's a great reminder of just how protective akane can get even if she isn't there. not to mention how worried she gets about mikan despite her absolute refusal to worry.

they care about each other to the point of unspoken codependency and while it is absolutely making both of them feel safe and happy it is still a reminder of their underlying problems. akane would do anything to avoid somebody thinking she is weak enough to be cared for. but all mikan can do is care and care and care about her. both of them are so willing to shoulder the problems of the other but neither of them want to be seen as burdens, so all they end up doing is silently dance around their issues until eventually somebody caves. INSANE YURI MOMENT

mikan still absolutely has anxiety LMFAO and dare i say..... she's...... kind of better????????????????????? or maybe not actually. going into this i had to think about how to write these characters in a way that felt true to who they are but also remembering that they have GROWN, even if danganronpa really makes them feel as if they havent lol. this is a mikan who has likely endured years of therapy, even if that therapy is SHIT at best. this is also a mikan who has been shoved into the spotlight rather forcibly and has basically been given the choice to adapt or die. so i probably shouldnt say that shes "better", it's more that shes had to modify herself to fit this new lifestyle of hers. she hasnt been given much of a choice, and i imagine shes had a few years to really fuck up and struggle before reaching this point. she is constantly in the spotlight and basically always under scrutiny, so ive sort of swayed away from her wanting attention and focused more on how she reacts to this attention-- shes grown bitter from the negative and she doesnt think she deserves most of the positive. it's this hurricane of problems with mikan and a lot of it involves her own struggle to view herself as a good person, which stems heavily from the insecurities she already had in her game and intensified by what happened outside of it. years of being seen as this iconic chapter three killer has absolutely worn her down a bit, but there is still a part of her that yearns for control over her life and the people surrounding it. she is still SO anxious, ive tried to really hammer home quite a few recurring symptoms with her like her nervous tics, sickness/lack of appetite, hair shedding, etc!! and she is extremely bitter about how shes been treated, too, which im hoping to elaborate on further on down the line. however she really, REALLY can not be passing out in front of cameras or throwing any fits about the exploitation shes endured since shes been a teen because the company she works for wont accept anything that isnt on brand. and underneath it all shes still that scared little kid that desperately wants to please

she's an older mikan but she is still very much hurting, not necessarily any less but in a way that's a bit different if that makes sense :)

you are SO FUCKING NICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333

[cantdanceflynn]

This is so correct, would you be able to elaborate on that? You have good Candace opinions and it would be really cool to hear your thoughts on her in the crossover.

OHOHOHOHOOHOHO I JUST SAW THIS ASK AND YOU HAVE OPENED A DAM UGIERHUITGHREUGHRG

OK SO CANDACE IS SO FUCKIN MISUSED IN THE CROSSOVER, EVEN IF SHES MORE INCHARACTER THEN PEOPLE THINK SOMETIMES

HER FIRST APPEARANCE IS BASICALLY A POKEMON GO JOKE, WHICH DOES ACTUALLY ADD UP WITH HER CHARACTER(IE: THE INATOR METHOD), AND THATD BE FINE ON ITS OWN, BUT THE MIXTURE OF HER JUST STRAIGHT UP NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE PISTACHIONS(SOME OF WHOM REPLACED AT LEAST BUFORD AND BALJEET, WHO SHE OBVIOUSLY KNOWS, AND LIKELY ALSO REPLACED THE MAJORITY OF HER FRIENDS???????? LIKE EVEN IF WE GAVE STACY IMMUNITY BASED ON NOTLP AND VANESSA IMMUNITY BC OF DOOFS TOWER AND DOOF HIMSELF BEING SORTA PROTECTED(PLUS NORM), JENNY AND JEREMY AT LEAST WERE LIKELY TAKEN OUT????) AND BALJEET BEING SCARED OF HER(ON A TECHNICALITY THAT DOESN'T EXIST IN THIS CONTEXT??? IT WORKS FOR BALJEET AND HIS INTERACTIONS WITH CANDACE, SURE, BUT ITS WEIRD REGARDLESS.) MAKES IT ALL SO WEIRD AND JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR HER.

CANDACE DOESN'T RLY DO MUCH UP UNTIL THE SATELLITE WORKSHOP, WHICH IS KINDA STUPID BC LIKE. SHES DEADLY. WE KNOW THIS. CANONICALLY SHES DEADLY. SHE DOESNT RLY FIGHT ANY OR DO ANYTHING BESIDES MOVE WITH THEM. ITS SO WEIRD WHEN HAS CANDACE EVER DONE NOTHING REGARDING STUFF LIKE THIS.

AND UPON REACHING THE WORKSHOP, THE FIRST THING SHE RLY DOES IS RECOMMEND THEY BASICALLY KICK MILO OUT. WHICH MIGHT BE PRACTICAL, YES, AND IT IS IN CHARACTER, BUT THE WAY ITS DEALT WITH IS SO STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD UGH. HER DECIDING TO TAKE HIM OUT HERSELF MAKES THE SITUATION ACTIVELY SO MUCH WORSE, ESPECIALLY BC SHE HAS SIMILAR EXPERIENCE WITH SITUATIONS LIKE THIS THAT PHINEAS AND FERB DONT HAVE(LISTEN, I KNOW THAT QUOTE IS INACCURATE AS MUCH AS ANYONE, BUT EVERYONE TAKES IT SO LITERALLY AND ITS SO STUPID WHY DOES EVERYONE DO THAT IT CLEARLY IS ASKING WHAT THEIR PLAN IS WHEN THINGS GO WRONG AND IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS THEY DONT HAVE A PLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), AND WHILE SHE DOES TRY TO HIDE THEM, THIS IS A COMBINATION OF TWO FOCAL POINTS OF BAD LUCK!!! ITS SUCH A STUPID IDEA AND EVEN IF MELISSA AND ZACH KNEW CANDACE BEFORE THEYD STILL PROBABLY CONSIDER IT SUSPICIOUS!!!!!!!

AND THEN THE ACTUAL SCENE WHERE SHE REALIZES HE CAN BE HELPFUL DOESNT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT HER OWN BAD LUCK AT ALL!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT EVEN CONSIDERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE JUST SEES A BUNCH OF USUALLY UNLUCKY STUFF THAT MANAGE TO TAKE OUT SOME PISTACHIONS AND DECIDES HE COULD BE USEFUL BC HE KNOWS HOW TO DEAL AND USE MURPHYS LAW!!!!!!!!!! SOMETHING SHE CANONICALLY KNOWS HOW TO DO WITH HER OWN BAD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DIALOGUE ITSELF IS ACTUALLY RLY GOOD CHARACTER WISE TOO WHICH MAKES IT HURT MORE

(ALSO IT NEEDS TO BE SAID. I DO NOT GET ANYONES COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE PHINEAS AND FERB EFFECT VS MURPHY'S LAW. THEY SET THIS UP IN PHINEAS AND FERB WITH JUST OUR LUCK, ALL OF IT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE WITH PREESTABLISHED CANON, AND MURPHY'S LAW IS ALREADY SPECIAL IN THAT IT EXISTS!!!!!! ITS REASON FOR EXISTING ISNT EXPLAINED, JUST WHAT IT IS IN TERMS OF CANON!!!!!!! IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

AND THEN SHE BASICALLY DOESNT DO SHIT FOR THE REST OF THE CROSSOVER!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR NO REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE STUFF SHE DID DO BASICALLY DIDN'T MATTER OVERALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ISABELLA WAS MORE USEFUL OVERALL!!!!!!!!!

AND THEN THEY BRING IT UP AGAIN AND AGAIN THROUGHOUT THE REST OF THE SEASON, ITS A WHOLE PLOT THING, THAT "OOOOH, DOOF HAS BAD LUCK AND TENDS TO MISPLAN, HIS SITUATION IS SO SIMILAR TO MILOS!!!!" EVEN WHEN THE CHARACTERS THEMSELVES ARGUE THIS

BUT CANDACE DOESN'T SHOW UP AGAIN AND THEY DON'T EVER EVEN MENTION HER OWN BAD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOOF HAS HIS OWN BAD LUCK, YES, I DONT DENY THAT, ITS ALSO PROVEN CANON, BUT CANDACES SITUATION IS INFINITELY CLOSER TO MILOS AND THEY DONT DO SHIT WITH IT AND IT PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAYS TYSM FOR CAUSING ME TO WAKE UP WITH 99+ NOTIFS ON BASICALLY SOLELY CANDACE FLYNN STUFF MAD FUCKIN RESPECT

[concertoforagashedthroat]

@liebestode there are a lot of "studio apartments" listed in london that are obviously rooms (that were never meant to be separate dwellings) with those stove/sink units shoved in. i dont know how they get it approved to bring a water line in there (maybe you can only do it in rooms that were bedrooms and might have had sinks?) or how it's up to living codes but uh yeah i saw a lot of them when i was looking. at least in san francisco theyd just make a living room or a closet a bedroom in a multi-room apartment to fit more tenants. in that situation the bathroom and kitchen are still normal. this is like. beyond that

as for why like. just pressure from the city getting so expensive and there doesnt seem to be an end in sight :(

[thevalleyoftriumph]

can you talk more about DarkMango...? i am hungry for content/lh/nf

HEHEHE OF COURSE ANON sorry for taking like two hourz to get back 2 u i waz playing a game w a friend

i put Too Much Rambling so im shoving it all under a cut

anywayz mmm. darkmango. :] i like to think that while both dark and mango arent the best people they genuinely do make each other better. not even realizing it, sure, but they encourage each other to be better people! [dont get me wrong theyre still fucked up and evil villainz but theyre just nicer sometimez now /hj]

ive got a few doodlez lying around where theyre literally just holding each other and staring fruitily into each otherz eyez /hj itz nice . i like to think they both know how to dance, be it from learning on their own or one teaching the other !! sometimez theyll dance w each other :] im a cheesy bitch so my favorite thing ever iz imagining characterz waltzing together itz cute to me

hmm. mango iznt a huge fan of spiderz, but despite that, he iz Very interested in darkz virabotz i think. hed pick one up and sorta look it over and ask dark a bunch of questionz, and obviously dark will w/o hesitation just fuckin infodump about them, which i think mango would do that thing where someone iz listening to someone they love talk and they just stare at them w the most love stricken face ever, just pure no thoughtz, head "i love thiz person so much."

darkz a very animated talker too, id think, so youd have thiz contrast of one guy very animatedly talking and waving his armz around excitedly and the other watching with almost literal fuckin heart eyez, head on the hand and everything LMAO

they probably act both like a new highschool couple [ie, very touchy, stupid/cheesy pet namez, all in all being very loud and open about it] and also simultaneously like those cool unclez at family gatheringz that have a job theyd probably get in legal trouble for lol, all cool n shit. definitely the type of guyz to be the "partnerz in crime" type of couple.

ohh speaking of that, if they were to actually 100% team up and try to take ppl down, they would be a TERRIFYING opponent. forcez to be reckoned with for real. like, you got a godlike entity that can destroy the very thing that makez you up [ie, code], and ANOTHER guy thatz trying too hard to be a god with a staff of an item that can decimate you INSTANTLY if he so chosez. they both just choose not to do thiz bcoz a, dark likez his family, and b, mango likez being a king with power over people, not an empty world. lol. so yknow itz a win-win for everyone involved.

oh god theyre probably the kindz of ppl that are alwayz like . near each other in public. like alwayz gotta be holding handz or shoulder to shoulder or even one of em sitting on the otherz lap while talking to someone else, not even in a weird way just in a "i NEED to be making contact w my bf right thiz instant if i dont i will DIE" way yknow /j [touch starved mfz /j /j /j]

dark would hype mango up for shit like fightz or just taking over villagez n shit. like "fuck yeah baby you get their assez u can do it ily" type stuff lol.

mango on the other hand would be more of the type to silently encourage dark? like while dark would Literally stand on the sidelinez and shout encouragement, mangoz more the type to quietly encourage shit and supporting dark. bringing him stuff he needz for his little virabotz, giving him a kiss or something of the sort after winning a fight, hell, hed probably fucking clap for him lol

hmmm. thatz all ive got so far but :] i really do like theze two i need to draw them more tee bee aych. im glad therez other darkmango likerz out there lol

[jackiietaylor]

who do you think should die? (in season 5)

literally anyone other than el. just kidding. maybe

ok but seriously before i start let me say i don’t want anyone to die, but narratively speaking these are the characters that make the most sense to me. also this got very long.

obviously vecna

also probably whatever government or military people continue to get sent after el. however im assuming owens will ultimately make it out alive and probably be involved in helping cover everything up/helping el and hopper either continue to hide or re-enter society

will. i think out of everyone hes definitely in the most danger because he’s the most connected to the upside down. they made a really big deal this season about the upside down being a hivemind, and that was really crucial during s2 when will was still directly connected to that. however, will still definitely has some connection to vecna/the upside down, which will likely complicate any plan to destroy it. like since there’s still a part of will that’s connected to the hivemind in some way, permanently killing the hivemind (not just closing the gate) would also kill will. but i also think this is a very depressing ending so i think it’s both very unlikely despite being very likely, if that makes sense

jonathan. this is kinda connected to the will point above but moreso assuming will lives. jonathans biggest fear at this point is something happening to will while he’s not there. he wasn’t home in s1 when will first got taken and he wasn’t there in s2 until almost the end. i could very easily see him sacrificing himself to protect will

i could see dustin dying just because i think it would have the biggest impact across both the older and younger teens. he’s part of the party but he’s also the closest of the kids to steve and robin, and probably the closest to nancy other than maybe mike

ok this one is kinda out there, but terry and/or becky ives. the government is still after el, they went through the byers california house and owens things, so id say it’s pretty likely they know who her mom is, if they didn’t know before. plus becky called the hawkins pd in s2 to say el was at their house and we know that the government is listening in on the phone lines, so i could see that coming back. or vecna could kill one or both of them to hurt el

i really thought mike was basically guaranteed to die until the duffers confirmed that killing him would be too sad. again this is not me saying i want mike to die, he’s great, but vecna showed nancy a vision of something happening to mike, holly, and their mom, so i really thought all of them were gonna be killed. guess not though. also with the whole el being a superhero and mike being the love interest i assumed theyd go the “villain kills the hero’s love interest” route

one of the parents, probably karen wheeler. she’s been at this weird state of almost involved in the plot for the whole show, so i could see her finally connecting everything and realizing to some extent what her children have been up to and maybe sacrificing herself for her children. or maybe she’d sacrifice her husband. that could be fun. also going back to the previous mike point, vecna showed nancy something happening to her mom. but again, mikes safe and i really don’t think they’d kill the six year old, so karen’s probably safe too

in other news i think nancy is the least likely to die because she’s basically the epitome of a final girl. also i think max is safe because they would’ve just killed her at the end of volume 2 if they weren’t bringing her back. for similar reasons i think lucas, joyce, and hopper are all safe because they have planned dates (lucas and max at the movies, joyce and hopper at enzos) and i don’t think the show will end without showing both of those or at least mentioning them happening, because they did the exact same thing with mike and el and the snow ball in s1/s2. kinda feel the same about robin because theyre clearly setting her and vickie up. and i just think they’re too scared to kill steve. and once again i refuse to entertain the thought of el dying

honestly i don’t think it makes sense to kill anyone at this point. everyone’s survived so much and there’s been so many fake out deaths that ending the show by permanently offing someone feels wrong.

[gibbearish]

ive never bought into the "don't be roommates with friends, it'll always go wrong and ruin your friendship" thing bc i always felt like the actual reason for that is that a) living together is a high-stakes situation where you're stuck together for several months at least, so any pre-existing friction is going to be exacerbated, and b) some people are choosing their roommates based on how much they like someone rather than whether they think theyd actually be a good housemate. i had several friends who offered to get an apartment together who i said no to bc regardless of how much i like them, i know that they would suck to live with, so i just didnt. on the flipside i currently live with my partner of 6 years, who i obviously like, and my roommate, who has been my best friend since we were like 11. prior to this we were rooming with current roommate's older sister and her best friend, who we're also good friends with. both households we had 0 issues with, including the /3 months/ our current household spent crammed into one studio apartment while waiting for this place to be available. obviously that's just personal anecdotes, but i've also seen the same repeat with other friends. its not friendship or lack thereof that makes rooming together possible OR impossible, it just comes down to how much respect the inhabitants have for each other as equals. like, say you room with your childhood bff who's always "had a bit of a mean streak" and had a very "what's yours is ours" attitude, of COURSE you're going to run into issues living together when she doesn't respect your things or your boundaries and gets toxic when you try to bring anything up. that doesn't have anything to do with you being bffs, it's due to who /she/ is as a person. a randomly assigned roommate through college with the exact same traits won't magically be a good roommate just because you're a stranger, at best it'll delay how long it takes for those traits to start causing problems. past the first few weeks, you'll no longer be a stranger, you'll just be their roommate, and someone with no respect for others isn't going to be stopped by simply not having known you for three years beforehand or w/e. yes, being friends with your roommates means if things go bad it will have a bigger impact on your personal life than if they were a stranger, but like. that's how friendships ending will always go, that doesn't change depending on what the catalyst was. so just. pick the friend you feel is most respectful of your boundaries rather than whichever one happens to ask first and you'll be fine

[ithisatanytime]

Braxton Knight ~ W.I.F.I. (Prod. ICYTWAT)

 also the garden of eden was in central africa, the sword of fire guarding the gates is the sahara desert, we were white before we left africa. Egyptians in their ancient history where white as well and slowly became swarthy by a process you can watch happening in real time in the south of the united states and in the urban areas of the uk and in paris france and in scandinavia. the ancient greeks likewise were white, which is why their gods were depicted as white, and their early emperors were described as blond with blue eyes. there is a syndrom in japan called “paris syndrome” which describes a very real medical phenomena where japanese women go on vacation in paris france, expecting to be surrounded by tall handsome white men like in the western media thats shipped around the world, only to find themselves questioning if theyd accidentally boarded a plane to africa, so extreme is the shock that they need psychiatric treatment when they return to japan (look it up, im not kidding). the point being these demographic shifts happen fast, egypt was already swarthy by the time of the greeks, and greece swarthy by the time of the romans, so to was israels basic composition altered. jesus said he came not for the gentiles but for the lost sheep of the house of israel, but he also said he was going to bring another flock into the sheepfold, many of the so called gentiles were in fact the lost sheep of hte house of israel, obviously when he was talking about the lost sheep he was also talking about the legendary lost tribes of the house of israel, the greater part of israel was in fact “lost” in captivity to assyria, ten of the twelve tribes, we are these lost sheep. how can we tell? how do we know if someone fully brown has any divine blood in them, or if some one be fully white how do we know that inside them isnt pure darkness? by their fruits. jesus said to the pharisees and sadducees that they were not of abraham, and when they protested he reminded them that they killed the prophets of god going as far back as  able (very very significant) and these things abraham did not do, he was saying children take after their fathers, and by their actions theyd proven themselves to be bastard children, and like branches on the same tree some bearing good fruit and some bearing rotten fruit, the branches bearing rotten fruit are cut off from the tree and discarded or burnt up, while a branch that produces good fruit is left to remain, and branches on other trees that also produce good fruit can be grafted onto the tree. this is also again explained by the parable of the field in which an enemy plants weeds among the wheat seeds, the workers of the field demand to their master that they be allowed to pull up the weeds as soon as they sprouted but the good master of the field wisely tells them to wait until they bear fruit, because if they pulled them up now when theyve only just sprouted it will be not only hard to tell them apart, but you will almost certainly end up pulling up wheat by accident, wait until the plants show their fruit and then pull them all up together, and store the wheat in the store houses and burn the weeds in great bundles.

[goremet-chef]

godd my sibling is such a dick sometimes

we are two very different people yknow, theyre out applying to jobs in person and im too scared to leave my own house for anything more than a car ride or maybe going out to eat. i have pretty cripping arachnophobia like i would say it controls my day to day life. i have certain routines i go through that i always do when im leaving a room, coming up the stairs etc in terms of like. spider scanning to make sure theres no threat cuz like

in my head it is a threat, but not for the reasons youd think. ive never been afraid a spider was gonna hurt me (unless its like. a widow or something else fucky but i dont see many venomous types). the biggest threat for me and my wellbeing is if it touches me or not. i cannot let them touch me under any circumstance because it makes me want to like. rip my skin off or some shit. i wont be normal for a while if one does (which unfortunately has happened so thats how i know)

this is a pretty big inconvenience for me obviously but apparently its also a huge inconvenience watching me deal with it cuz they complain all the time about how my fear makes no sense and how its not that big of a deal. i know its irrational! its a PHOBIA. i know it doesnt make sense but at the end of the day i still feel it and the fear it brings so maybe stfu!!!

being argued with over my own fear is so. like they start speaking as if they know better than me "the spiders arent going to touch you" yeah not if i can help it! i have really bad luck with spiders tho and i can guarantee they probably will if they could. the way they act around me its like im a magnet bro. if theres one on the ceiling i will never walk under it because it WILL fall on me, thats happened several times. kill them as soon as you can reach on the walls cuz they will fall and crawl on yr bed or floor, etc like. DO NOT try and tell ME what a spider will do, i know what theyll do and im hardly ever wrong. when you spend as much time as i do looking out for them and watching them, you get a good feel for their behavior.

daddy long legs are the worst for me because of their. extendo reach thats more touching capability!!! theyr fucking massive in my eyes because the legs count, comparing their legspan to other spiders its very obvious why theyd be the ones i justcannot deal with. plus they are CLUMSY they fall so much i hate it

and then my sibling was CONFUSED??? as to why i couldnt kill the ones we were seeing myself. was genuinely confused when i said that i have a hard time killing any spiders because i get nervous before i swing and sometimes i fuck up just based on nerves alone. like why is that such a shock how can you barely fathom that if someones nervous theyre gonna hesitate and mess up a bit, its so.

im tired of explaining myself all the time, but i keep doing it over and over cuz they seem to forget that one of my defining characteristics is my fear of spiders like. they all know about it they never fail to complain about it and theyll be like "but thats so inconvenient for you to do this extra shit just to avoid a spider" yeah! it is! i wish i didnt feel this way at all, i wish i could be normal like them, but im not

its one of those things where like. as much as you dont like to hear about it or see me deal with it (for some reason), this is something that will ALWAYS be harder for me to handle than it is for them so theres no reason for them to be complaining. they arent the ones who miss out on things because theres a spider in the way

ik this all sounds silly probably but its very genuine and controlling fear for me, they think its voluntary. what a fucking joke, you think id voluntarily live like this?