#and past pippin obsessions have been senior year of high school when i had no clue what to do with my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youremyonlyhope · 1 year

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Pippin is my favorite musical of all time.

But unfortunately, I seem to fixate on it during times of my life when my brain is especially existential, anxious, depressed, etc.

The last few days, I've been thinking about Pippin a lot, reading analyses of it, listening to the music. Just generally enjoying my comfort musical.

Then I remembered that earlier this week, my therapist heard me describing how I feel unfulfilled while unemployed and doing a lot of stuff for other people or to make other people happy and not doing anything for myself, all while having a completely messed up sleep schedule. And she said "Hmm... honestly... that sounds a little like depression."

And I was like "No. No. Because I am doing things. It's not like when I've been depressed in the past." but now that I'm back to fixating on Pippin, I think she was somewhat onto something since that's usually a bad sign. Yay!

#pippin #it's kind of sad that my comfort musical is pippin. but like. it's comforting for a reason. i need the comfort.#i'm currently being overworked by the theater i volunteer with because i was brought on to sew some pieces #and a couple turned into 6 pieces and then adding trims to other things and repairing a bunch of costumes #and completely deconstructing 2 different dresses to make them into new things #and then further alterations and tailoring and yeah this is not what i had signed up for #and how i need to learn to say no because i now have no time to do what i want to do with my free time #plus the jobs i've applied to have not gotten back to me and blah blah blah i'm doing nothing with my life at the moment #and past pippin obsessions have been senior year of high school when i had no clue what to do with my life #into freshman year of college when i was happier but still feeling strange about having no direction #then junior/senior year of college when i once again had no clue what i was doing with my life but about to graduate.#then one year post-college when i was considering leaving my job in the next year-ish to pursue theater #THEN during the really dark era of the quarantine in April just before May hit aka the lowest i've been in over a decade #literally crying every single day i was so stressed and anxious and depressed #and now. after a year of switching jobs. finally thinking i know what i want to do. and now having to actually do it.#while unemployed because my literal dream job that was supposed to last at least 4 months to a year only lasted 2 months

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