#and personally i cant bring myself to do that.

[thewolveswolf]

here’s a quick recap of the last few days, bc idk whether to laugh or cry

cw & tw for mentions of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse & mental health

took my cat to the vet bc her anxiety & overgrooming is still out of control

got home from the vet and she suddenly won’t put weight on her front right leg

take cat back to the vet, no obvious injury but painkillers are prescribed

4 days later mikasa has not improved, most likely a third vet trip tomorrow (also meaning i will have spent over $400 in less than a week on vet appts. worth it 1000% obviously. still a massive financial ouch tho)

while all that is happening, i find out the parent i have no contact with has:

started badmouthing me & my mum to parents of my high school friends (???? narcissists truly know no boundaries sksks)

HANDWRITTEN a letter to my nana (in ENGLAND!!! we live in AUSTRALIA!!!) stating he finds it “very odd” my mum no longer has any contact with him and he “doesn’t understand why” (uhhh maybe cos u threatened to kill her when she left u bro? and also every bit of abuse u levelled at us for the 30+ years before that? just a thought homeslice)

allegedly removed me from his will (inheriting some of ur genetics is enough for me dude, no sweat no sweat)

at the SAME TIME (bc god knows the universe has zero chill) my mother announces her boyf of 6 months is moving in (tbf he is lovely but jfc can everyone just slow down???)

both my siblings mental health are (understandably) collapsing

my anhedonia is now so bad i need to either increase my meds or come off them. pray 4 me either way

i ordered pizza last night and it was TERRIBLE. i’ve never had terrible pizza before, didn’t even know it was possible. fuck u dominos

this is five days worth of happenings. FIVE. DAYS.

anyway if anyone needs me, please look for the person-shaped lump hiding under some sort of blanket

[astranauticus]

i think these two should interact

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I've always wondered if you happened to have a discord? If not have you ever considered making one?

i do have one! however i use it very sparingly because 1) new people (especially groups) scare me & 2) brain's been fucking weird for a hot minute and i barely talk to people i'm already friends with let alone strangers

[leona-florianova]

* looking at prices of new rock boots*

"It cant be That hard to make some fancy boots yourself, right?"

*i say while fully aware of how hard it would really be*

[jazzzzzzhands]

oh i started something goofy back in September where i wanted to attempt Rendering but this has just been in my art program for too long i lost my attention span on it u_u Please allow me to throw this out here and have peace of mind because i really really enjoyed coloring some cereal, its sooo PRETTY full version below, there's Wally! I DID enjoy his hair but here here, have my unfinished work

oh i forgot my tally marks, i was counting my Cereals as i finished them! silly silly

[thewhizzyhead]

so I just finished my first run through of Stray Gods aka that visual novel musical based on Greek mythos and,,,you know how there are visual novels that don't have romance as the MAIN point but yet still have romance routes in them? Like you get the MAIN gist of the game with or without those romance routes - like, those romance routes are simply side dishes that add more to enjoy with the main course? Yea it seems to be like that with most of the romance routes here in Stray Gods and I'm not saying that as a bad thing at all BUT MY GOD FREDDIE'S ROUTE ISN'T LIKE THAT AT ALL LIKE IT ACTUALLY IS THE MOST PERSONALLY AND EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED ROUTE FOR ME BY THE THIRD ACT THAT IT KIND OF CHANGES THE MAIN COURSE ENTIRELY AND I MEAN THAT IN A VERY GOOD WAY-

[oatbugs]

the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart

[ana-cantskywalker]

Adding songs about separation/longing to my Sabezra playlist because I hate myself

[bedazzlecunt]

how do you feel about intox stuff? i see it's not explicitly on your DNI list but i feel like it edges (haha) close to some of your other triggers, so i just want to be sure before i follow or interact. thank you, have a nice day!

awww, it's very sweet of you to ask, thank you :)

i don't mind intox in and of itself (though i'm not into it at all), though if it leads to my other triggers (such as fantasies where intox transitions to rape) or if you're posting intox stuff where loss of consent/violation of consent is a central part of the fantasy (ie. intox from strangers at a party, or intox used by a partner to push past the sub's limits/boundaries/etc) i'd prefer if you not interact.

also because i can't help but worry and want to add PSAs about this — intox stuff is really, really dangerous to actually try outside of fantasies; an intoxicated sub is going to be less capable of safe-wording if they need it and an intoxicated dom is going to be less in control. i knew a dom thru an IRL kink space years back who genuinely ruined his own life and badly damaged his sub's because they played drunk and he did shit he never thought he'd do sober, and he never recovered from his shame and guilt over what he'd done to her. getting off to fantasies on tumblr is whatevs but if you are actually playing in this space please be so fucking careful and plan and expect for things to go wrong

[godfistgonnalive]

my heart goes out to all rarepairers. i have never been a rarepair shipper before until pruita came along and i understand your struggles now . it hurts even more because theres a fair amount of content of them but i rarely ever see any pruita fan content.

[skunkes]

Do u ever think abt where al (and talon too neow?) will go when u find ur person irl? Ykwim? like do u think we'd forget them / drop / git bored of our lil oc guys (of al's nature)? it feels sad!!! like a real loss 2 me. is it weird to be attached to them like they r real? HMM.

i hope ur doing well btw wit all da things ur goin thru. wishin u the best, peace and stability to u, bruther <3

dis is so scary i was just talking to a friend about something adjacent to this...

putting under read more solely because it feels weird to have some of the stuff im gonna mention just out in the open loll ^_^ ^_^

so! I kind of already experienced something like this last year, when i found myself um...in a situation like one you described...

I put al up on the shelf for a bit then picked him back up a few months later for much needed comfort among lots of confusion... I look at this Now as maybe being because, well. things started going south at that time and i needed Al again... + that makes sense! but i also have a friend who's in a long term relationship who still has thier own array of characters in their brain to lean on for comfort (though they aren't ocs)

I understand what you mean though... I'm attached to them like they're real. and neither outcome sounds good to me...!

like if the case is just that The Best Fit For Me, My Partner, really will make me forget about them, that makes me sad!!! Al has been in my life for such a long time. in those few short months of my situation where things were nice, I didn't have much to draw...! I don't know what I would draw if it wasn't my little comforts...! My yearning... It felt really weird even if i was happy for a little bit... it felt weird that he was just Gone.

BUT if the case is that i find a partner that's a good fit for me and i DONT forget about Al (and talon)...then that's also kinda sad...! Sad that I still need additional fantasy comfort that can never be real... because the little guys in my brain are like their own people... sad that there's nothing on earth close enough in the same way that everyone you date can have their own qualities you'll miss because theyre their own person, except they'll always just be in my brain and never in my arms etc etc... it is sad.... sometimes i just get emotional over having created em at all because all the outcomes are so sad to me......

[citruslullabies]

Waitwaitwaitwait

looking at that thing of Cooper you reblogged ... YOU READ SMUT??

[cinnamon-notes]

i have been ghosting my friends for idk a month??? and they have been doing the same??? except for when we meet in a workplace cuz somehow our jobs decided to cross over :)

[twilightarcade]

I loooove when people respond to you being mad by being mean to you. Like yeah thanks that's really improving my mood

[vilelittlecritter]

Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

[clits-and-clips]

x