#and right now barney is going insane on multiple levels

[this-should-do]

barney canoes every blunt hes given and gordon is extraordinarily bold when hes high

bonus/alt ending

anyways everyone thank these tags on my last weed boys post for this post

[britishsass]

oh sicen your a fan of portal too what would a crossover of portal and psychonauts be like?

Well, first off, someone's actually making a full-fledged au for that! psychoportalnauts is the place for it, I believe? But anyways, this isn't their au. This is me infodumping about an au you only vaguely asked about, because I'm nuts.

So, my friend @legallymean and I have actually been tossing around something very much like that for a while now. The thing is, we aren't just limiting it to Portal, since we're insane or something. So, uh-- Toss 'em a couple questions?

Anyways! I'd like to introduce you to Valvonauts. The name is still under works, but let's use that for now.

This is a story loosely following the story of Psychonauts and Psychonauts 2 with Valve characters. This has been seen in the story "Scouting the Camp" on AO3, but other than that? Not much mention of it has been made so far. SO HERE'S A FULL PLOT SYNOPSIS, HAVE FUN!

Psychonauts 1.

Jeremy de Marco, a young boy with 7 older brothers, is living with his mother in the city of Boston. His mother has told them multiple times that "your father left because of a psychic danger" and warned them against associating with danger and with psychics (Not in the same sentence, but they put it together anyways). However, he discovers his own psychic powers, and he tries to train them despite how much his brothers make fun of him for it, especially as he gets into comics and creating his own stories about himself as a Psychonaut. After an incident involving a school rally and a weird pamphlet, he comes home with the thought in his head of going to Whispering Rock. His mother forbids him, but he takes matters into his own hands and runs off in the middle of the night, leaving a note saying that he's going to find his dad.

He makes his way to Whispering Rock, and there he meets the campers F. Pauling (No one knows her first name, and no one uses it anyways) and Marcel Wheatley (aka "Facty") who he quickly befriends. As well, he's introduced to the three psychonauts in charge of the camp: Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun, and Helen Pauling (aka "Admin P."). He manages to weasel his way into getting to stay for a while, and Jeremy promptly sets out to become a psychonaut so that he can find his father.

Instead he finds out that there's some sort of weird plan going on with Pauling's mom (aka Admin) and that super weird place across the lake. The events of Psychonauts 1 happen-- Gordon teaches psi-blasts, Barney teaches levitation, brains go missing oh nooo-- and finally, he meets the real mastermind behind the camp: Agent Jane Doe, otherwise known as Admiral Doe, Ranger Doe, Chef Doe, Oarsman Doe-- well, any role that needs filled, there's a fifty-fifty shot of it being one Mr. Jane Doe. He's not shattered or anything, just... Scattered. He keeps asking about a "Tavish" and no one knows who he's talking about. Not like that's important or anything, right? Haha.

Agent Doe asks Jeremy to help with the obvious plot going on, and sends the kid off to the place across the lake to go get those brains back.

.

Across the lake is not Thorney Towers. Across the lake is an old, run-down facility for science, condemned ages ago because the founder went nuts, talking about moon rocks and some sort of pouring people into a computer? We all know that couldn't happen--

But there at the door is a rather imposing figure, glaring at Jeremy as he comes near, and he has to go venture into the mind of the first resident of Aperture Science. This is Aegis, the security guard. (If you don't know AEGIS, he's in Portal Stories: Mel! Totally recommend it.) At the end, he opens the gates, and walks off, revealing he was covering an access code on the wall, scribbled on there. 2056. Strange, but whatever. Jeremy goes inside, and finds two other people there: A woman running in circles with a red bun (Mel) and a man with dark hair who jumps if he even gets close (Doug).

Mel's level is focused on the olympics and sports. Doug's level-- Well, I've already gone into detail there. But Mel gives him an ID card she found ("Caroline Jones"), and Doug tells him about the place's history as well as offering his help with the way up. The elevator takes three things: A code, a keycard, and a fingerprint scan. When it gets all three, Jeremy can go on.

There, he finds GLaDOS. She tells Atlas and P-Body (Sheegor for this purpose) to get out of the way as she's busy, and he yoinks the brains for his two teachers before going to where the others are. With the help of the two others, they get the brains back where they belong, and the group together manages to yeet GLaDOS out of control (for now.) This is when Admin shows up to enact her plan against all the people who she believes have wronged her. Insert the Brain Tank fight. Jeremy accidentally gets de-brained, and he has to throw his brain into the tank to keep going.

Welcome to Wartown.

This version of the Meat Circus is shown as wartorn Boston, with a young girl with Pauling's face guiding him around. They keep going, and eventually they find the source of the issue: The Mann Twins, a glutonous mess that's been twisted out of proportion after years of poor treatment. Jeremy fights it, and gets thrown aside, landing in the mess of sibling tangles (or finding his mom there, either way). More fighting, Several-Headed Brat Monster, Jeremy gets out of there and the day is safe for a bit.

...Note the "For a bit."

They promptly hear that the head of the psychonauts got abducted when they get back. Instead of it being Pauling's dad or something, though, Jane gives a really loud gasp. The head of the psychonauts? It's Zhanna. Pauling, Admin, Barney, Gordon, and Jeremy head out to go rescue her, since Jane's already in a state just thinking about his wife being kidnapped, and their daughter (who also has a buzz cut) just got re-brained, and someone's gotta watch over her.

Rhombus of Ruin.

So, they go get Zhanna back. Only to find out that a) GLaDOS isn't dead, b) GLaDOS was hired by someone to get Zhanna's brain, c) GLaDOS is actually Caroline and got massively messed up by Cave, and d) Pauling's first name is Francis. These are all equally important to Jeremy, who is an idiot and in love with Francis, who still hasn't kissed him because unlike Jeremy she has some standards and wants to wait until things are safe.

Psychonauts 2.

So they go to the Motherlobe. Jeremy is introduced to the interns ("Pyro", Michael Wheatley, Chell, and three others who haven't been decided yet) and the Second Head, Alyx. There's the whole thing with the mental connections and the Lady Luctopus, not much changed there. Then we get to the part that we're all here for.

Zhanna tells Jeremy that he needs to get the old Psychic 6 back together to take out whoever's trying to resurrect the worst enemy they ever had, and especially to help Jane to put together what's going on. So Jeremy goes out to do his best.

First, there's Dell, the engineer for the Psychonauts. Out of everyone, he's the one who's coping the best. He offers Jeremy some devices and calls him son. He's also mentoring Pyro, and they're pretty tight. They don't need to do much for him, just get the brain from the frame to go in the body of poor ol' Mr. Eagleman. He tells Dell that he's planning on finding the rest of the 6, and he just nods and tells him to bring a card so they can all sign it. Clearly a joke, but Jeremy is an idiot.

The second member is the brain in the jar. The level is a lot like Surgeon Simulator/2-point hospital. Trying to find instruments to fix the body on the table only to reveal that the body is [gasp] Dr. Viktor Ludwig, otherwise known as "The Medic". Jeremy gets super excited, only to discover that there is a lot more trauma than he thought. Also, that the member who died all those years ago isn't dead.

The third is the man in the isolation chamber. It isn't that he's isolated to protect others or something, no, he just doesn't trust anyone at all. He doesn't even give out his name, but he does seem to recognize Scout.... (This is Spy, btw, I just haven't actually named him)

Next up, Soldier/Jane. He's the Ford of this au, if you haven't figured that out by now. They go to Teufort Gulch, where everything is falling apart a bit, and continue through the levels.

There's Mick Mundy, holed up in a tower and hostile to anyone who comes nearby. (He and Spy chat after the level, as well. Kind of the same vibes as if Otto and Ford were chatting then)

Then there's Misha, the Heavy. The one most impacted by everything that happened, since he lost his husband. i don't actually know how his level goes but anyways--

The problem is, I'm not entirely sure how Tavish (Demo) fits in overall! We've made comments about him being Lucy because of the whole Nessie thing that he has in TF2, and how he relates with Soldier being a closer bond than most of the team-- However, now that I think about it, if you focus on the family aspect, it could be that Spy's Lucy? (I don't think he'd have the ability to do it, he's not exactly good at taking out groups) And if you focus on the "drowned country" aspect then Sniper and New Zealand (I feel like Sniper is very, VERY clearly Cassie.) Tavish deserves a lot more than I could figure out-- There is, however, a post I made way back when about his mind, so take that. Yes, he totally does make out with his liver in front of Jane and Jeremy.

(I'm still not entirely sure how this part happens, how it works, all of that. The thing is, out of everyone, Demo's probably the only one with sheer destructive power enough to do that (Remember, in Classic, he could literally destroy parts of the level!). Engie can't and wouldn't, Sniper can't, Spy definitely can't, Medic and Heavy can't unless they're together, Soldier maybe could but Demo couldn't shatter him, Scout's a kid, and Pyro's more interested in fire. Unfortunately, that leaves Tavish.)

But the point is that suddenly, partway through fixing stuff, Zhanna shows up! Except she's acting... Very weird. Weird enough that even Viktor knows it's weird, and he's been kind of dead for 20 years. They send in Jeremy and Pauling, and find out that this is actually Mr. Eagleman. Or rather, Grey Mann. He promptly gets decked into next century by a little girl for messing with her honorarily adopted aunt. This is entirely deserved.

I don't feel like they'd have a Maligula-style boss fight here? If anything, it'd just be lots of yelling at Grey and Scout hitting him with a baseball bat until they get Zhanna back in her body.

~

That's all I've got so far, but... I hope i come across right. The whole Demoman part is clunky still, I'll admit, as we more focused our energy on PN1 after deciding "Okay psy 7 is the rest of the TF2 team and medic and heavy are helmut and bob ok move out." I really wanted to go more in depth, since I know it could come off really iffy without explanation.

As well, I would definitely like to let @legallymean be the one to talk about GLaDOS, Heavy, Medic, and the Half-Life crowd-- after all, it's as much their au as it is mine! I might know TF2 characters and Portal, but I don't have a clue about Half-Life.

On the other hand, I do think this au might mean a) Scotland is gone or b) Demo just blew something big up while he was drunk

maybe it got to the point where they all just had to act like it didn't happen and they didn't know each other so he wouldn't get arrested. kind of a funny take to just have it as "Yeah uh. no i just did something dumb and had to go into witness protection, i still know all about it and stuff"

If it is the case than please imagine Grey Mann just trying to find the guy who blew up a large chunk of Loch Ness only to find that he's really just chilling and does not want to deal with this crud right now. also there's a talking sword that likes churros. no one questions it. eyelander is required. he just shows up at teufort gulch with a sword and no one questions anything until he asks who invited him and they realize none of them invited him. Grey really did not think his plan through. He just thought Tavish would want to explode stuff but he's just happy to chill with his buds again.

~

Anyways, I've gone on long enough, and I really do need to rest. I've got yet another final tomorrow, and all I can say is "I hope this makes sense and doesn't come off wrong" because i'm tired and not sure if things sound bad right now.

[prorevenge]

The Neighborhood Bully

This neighborhood holds memories to many shenanigans, but I thought this one would fit the sub. If you only want to read the actual act of revenge then it's the last paragraph!

A little bit of backstory to set this up....I grew up in a fairly large neighborhood back when having tons of neighborhood friends was still a thing. Our group was pretty large and at times was well over 10 people. We did everything together every single day. Now our group consisted of a bunch of oddballs. We had "nerds", football players, chubby kids, super skinny kids, boys/girls of various ages, etc.. Being nice and wanting to have fun was the only requirement and everything was going great.

Anyway, the "Bully" moves in and we ride our bikes over to do our standard mass introduction. We invite him to play with us anytime, and he takes us up on it immediately. The first day was slightly weird, but generally fine as far as first impressions go. Over the next week though we started to realize that he is an absolutely spoiled brat and a bully. Lost a game of anything? He would scream and start blaming people. He would push, call people names, and sometimes start crying over the most ridiculous things. Throwing fits every other day at least and going home mad as hell. He would start off fine, but randomly escalate to insane levels. We went from some Utopian society to having to break up fights, and constantly diffusing situations. To make matters worse his mom would always come chew us out after he went home, and blame us for events that didn't even happen. He had her wrapped around his finger, and she created a monster.

This went on for about a week and then "Bully" had his best friend come stay for a few nights with him. Together they formed the ultimate piece of shit final boss. We were playing four square, and "Bully" got eliminated. He of course screams that he wasn't out to our "ref", and then shoves her down in the dirt. A friend ran over to help her up and "Bully #2" shoved him down and then threw dirt on the girl while calling her a stupid bitch. I immediately told them to leave, and that they weren't allowed to play with us anymore. They laughed and "Bully" said see ya tomorrow for kickball. We knew they would most definitely come back just like he did every other day so we held an emergency tree house meeting. We always talked problems out and came to an agreement on things in our friends tree house, but this was definitely not something we were used to. We knew we had to get rid of them for good so we hashed out our plan.

The next day me and my friend were playing basketball at his house. Sure enough they come strolling up asking why we weren't playing kickball. We told them everyone else would be there soon, but we just got Mortal Kombat so we could go play it while we waited. Once we got upstairs I grabbed "Bully" and pulled him into the room on the right, and my friend grabbed "Bully #2" and pulled him into the room on the left. In each room was the rest of the group divided up waiting. Once they were in the room each person grabbed an arm or a leg and forced them into a chair where we tied them up. We removed the phones from the rooms and put Barney VHS tapes in the TV/VCR combos. These particular VCR's would rewind them automatically and play it again from the beginning every time it ended. This was the real torture to us for some reason. We knew the rope/chair situation would only last so long so we tied their doorknobs together as well with a shit ton of jump ropes. They were in there for probably an hour (or approximately watching the same Barney VHS 3 times from start to finish) before they got out of the chair. I have to admit it was hilarious watching them try to get out of the room. The jump ropes had enough give to where they could open the door like an inch max. One would open it and the other would cause it slam shut. They literally fought against each other for a bit. Thinking they had enough we told them if they promised to never come back we would let them out. The little shit said "I'll do whatever I want now let me out". Sure bud. See the thing is...my friends parents were both at work and wouldn't be home for many many hours so we kept them locked away for many many hours. We all went downstairs and watched multiple movies, ate lunch, played video games, and even went outside for a bit. Eventually it was time to let them out before any parents got home. We didn't think about this part, and we didn't really know what to do. So we did what any nervous kids would and grabbed a bunch of random ass items to use as weapons in case they "tried anything" when we let them out. We told them we were letting them out through the door and to back up. We opened the doors and they looked completely defeated which kind of made me feel really bad for them. We told them they could go, and they just left without saying a word. At this point panic kind of set in as we really thought his mom was going to come over and tell our parents what happened. We'd all be grounded for a long ass time, and we knew it. However, she never came and they never bothered us again.

(source) (story by PM_ME_RETRO_STUFF)

[bloodunderthebridge]

The Magic of Postmodernism in How I Met Your Mother

We all know (and if you don’t, you should know) that How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) is a comical t.v series that went off the air after its ninth and final season in 2014. But, for those of you who have not enjoyed the future storytelling plot that is HIMYM, here is a quick recap of what takes place in the t.v show composed of nine amusing seasons. The first main character is Ted. Ted is the guy who narrates the entire story to his teenage kids of how he met their mother. Ted tells the story of his journey to finding a wife in 2030 and each season takes the audience through another year of Ted trying to find his wife with his best friends/sidekicks adding to the drama prior to 2030. For the second, third, fourth and fifth characters, you’ve got Lily and Marshall who have been together since college, but have their ups and downs that result in marriage and a baby. You have Barney who has a sketchy job that makes an absurd amount of money and spends most of his time dating as many girls as possible while asking them out in extreme, impossible ways and then you have Robin. Robin brings her daddy issues, t.v broadcasting skills and rough Canadian lifestyle to the streets of New York City. Combined, these characters date each other, date an uncountable number of other people, succeed along with tons of failure and in the end, create a t.v show that reaches a large audience with its sarcastic tone and unrealistic, but relatable circumstances.

So now that I’ve throughly discussed the characters and their role in HIMYM (for those of you who have watched HIMYM and for those of you who's my detailed description is good enough), what comes to mind when we think of the show? Perhaps how uneventful and upsetting the end of the series was or how Barney and Robin should have never broken up and like why did Tracy have to die? Whatever the reason, it probably wasn’t the postmodern aspects of the t.v show. In-between Barney’s multiple conquests, Robin’s foreign Canadian phrases, Lily and Marshall’s never ending relationship and Ted’s seemingly forever lasting search for love are techniques typically used in postmodern works of literature and in this case, good t.v. But since there is a handful of ways in which HIMYM can be looked at through a postmodern lens, I’m going to focus on three specific techniques, metafiction, magical realism and intertextuality. Now although metafiction and intertextuality may sound boring in comparison to watching t.v and even though magical realism seems to entail more fun, each technique adds a level of depth to HIMYM.

T.V, I’m pretty sure everyone has watched it at least once, but what happens when we’ve watched all the shows that interest us, do we exit our box and try a new show or do we watch a series over again? I’m voting for the latter. Whenever I watch something for a second or third and sometimes a fourth time, I notice different things about the show or whatever episode I’ve re-watched. “I could have sworn that storm trooper wasn’t there before”, I notice the smaller details when I re-watch shows and that’s why looking at HIMYM while keeping the postmodern techniques in the back of my mind, helps understand the t.v series more accurately. It’s an underlying layer that you don’t notice at first, but contributes to how the show is perceived by the audience. Imagine HIMYM having modern aspects, rather than postmodern, would more or less people watch it? Would the meaning and perception change? My guess is yes, of course it would change because even though it’s only a small number of aspects that I am looking at, those small parts are what make up the whole and changing enough of those small parts will eventually change the whole.

Okay, so now that I’ve convinced you that looking at HIMYM through a postmodern lens is important, what specifically does metafiction, magical realism and intertextuality mean? Meta fiction is the act of writing about writing or making readers aware of the fictional nature of the very fiction they're reading, or in the case of HIMYM, when the characters know they are in a t.v show. This is commonly know as “breaking the fourth wall”. Magical realism is the introduction of impossible or unrealistic events into a narrative that is otherwise realistic which is pretty explanatory and an easy definition. And lastly, intertextuality is the acknowledgment of previous literary works within another literary work or when a t.v show references a movie or book or vice versa. Each of these three techniques are actively used in HIMYM and now that you know what they mean, time to dive into a close viewing of HIMYM.

Metafiction, breaking the fourth wall, if you will, is not something I am typically a fan of. I think some shows use it well, like Jane the Virgin, but than shows like House of Cards, I can’t stand, but then again, the majority of people I know like House of Cards, so maybe thats just me. Anyways, Jane the Virgin and House of Cards use metafiction many times throughout each episode, but that’s not the case in HIMYM. There are only a number of instances in the entire series of HIMYM where metafiction is used, it is a technique that is used in addition to many other techniques, but not alone. Okay so to give an example so everyone can see what I'm blabbing on about, I’ve looked at season eight, episode four titled “Who Wants to be a Godparent?”. In this episode, Lily and Marshal, now married and pregnant, are hosting a game-show-like competition between Ted, Barney and Robin to see who should be the Godparent of their first child. Towards the end of the scene, when the game is almost over, Marshall looks directly at the screen and says “we will be right back after a message from our sponsors” (00:11:40 - 00:11:50). This was a clear cut, easy example of meta fiction. Another example just for good measure, but not as obvious as my first example is in season seven, episode six, “Mystery vs. History”. Barney, Ted and Robin are all sitting on the couch in Ted’s apartment and Ted is rambling on about breaking the fourth wall in Annie Hall (this is also intertextuality, but that’s for later) and then, out of nowhere, Robin turns to the camera and says “can you believe this guy?” and motions her thumb in Ted’s direction. Personally, Robin breaking the fourth wall is my favourite out of the two just because it was less expected in that scene than in the other one, you know. Okay well, I think that’s enough about metafiction for now… on to magic……al realism!

When I first heard of magical realism, I thought, yes finally some magic being taught in university. This is not the case, but also it sort of is the case. Let me explain. Magical realism is when events and stuff happening in a t.v show or movie or whatever are unrealistic, but they are shown in a realistic setting, therefore making it somewhat believable to some people (maybe?). Now, magical realism is so important that even Oprah talked about in her book club. On Oprah’s website an article is posted saying “magical realism sets magical events in realistic contexts, thus requiring us to question what is "real," and how we can tell” (Parkinson Zamora), which is my opinion, nicely summarises why magical realism is like magic. So thank you Oprah for also seeing the importance of magical realism and talking about it, but now to bring the magic to life in HIMYM, we need to look at season seven, episode seven titled “Noretta”. I know I’ve already explained a bit about Barney’s role in the t.v show and if you’ve watched HIMYM, you already know for yourself, but Barney is addicted to asking as many women out as possible. Like I’m pretty sure that’s all he does, it is his life mission to sleep with a record number of people. Not the most attractive quality in a person/character, but it does make for good t.v. “Noretta” is a prime example of far Barney will go and magical realism all in one! Background: Barney is on a date with an attractive British women he has been dating. They have not slept together yet, but in episode seven, Barney was determined to change that. While skating, Barney’s date fell down on the ice and completely lost a tooth, but somehow Barney managed to convince his date to not give up on the night. After his date fell, Barney also looked up to the roof (aka the sky, aka God, aka magic) and said “I can turn this around” (00:05:40 - 00:06:11). Magical realism? Yes, an extreme example of it? No, but the saga continues, finally back at Barney’s apartment, they go on the balcony where Barney and his date witness a man jumping from a roof committing suicide. Barney again says, “I can turn this around” and despite his date crying “I want to go home”, he manages to win her over (00:09:30 - 00:10:12). What makes this magical realism, if it isn’t clear enough, is that Barney still managed to sleep with his date despite her losing a tooth (which must have been insanely painful and ugly to look at) and that she witnessed death. Those two things happening don’t really set the mood for most people. That is one example of an episode of HIMYM where there is magical realism, but you could find magical realism in probably more than half of the episodes of HIMYM because the technique is used too often when it comes to Barney’s character.

Now finally, we get to discuss intertextuality, my personal favourite. You may be thinking, why is intertextuality my favourite? Especially compared to a technique that is magic adjacent, but when I understand a reference to another movie or book, I just feel like I know more, you know. The important thing to note about intertextuality though is that “much of the show’s humour relies on the reader’s recognition of common tropes” (Levine 67). This directly relates to HIMYM because if the viewer doesn’t understand the reference, they may also miss the humour which would be unfortunate and HIMYM uses intertextuality as humour more often than not. To illustrate intertextuality in HIMYM, I am going to use Star Wars as an example. Star Wars is my all time favourite movie series and therefore I like to take every opportunity to force my obsession upon everyone else and lucky for me, it seems that the characters of HIMYM love Star Wars the same as me!! So here we go, example number one, season nine, episode seventeen, “Sunrise”, Ted argues with his fiancé about what CP30 is made of and he also mocks her by saying “You know what’s weird? Not seeing Star Wars until you’re thirty” (00:03:15  - 00:03:47). Example number two, season nine, episode fifteen, “Unpause”, Barney gets so drunk the night before his wedding he mimics Jabba the Hutt. Example number three, season nine, episode two, “Coming Back”, Barney speaks like Yoda to Marshall, “there is no try” (00:16:18 - 00:16:26). Example number four, just kidding, I won’t keep going with the Star Wars intertextuality references because if you don’t get the point by now, you probably won’t ever get it. That was rude, if you didn’t get the point though, its that if you don’t understand or know Star Wars, HIMYM won’t make any sense. Just kidding, but it definitely won’t be as funny.

We all know now that How I Met Your Mother is a comical t.v series that went off the air after its ninth season and that the producers of this t.v show employ the use of the postmodern techniques metafiction, magical realism and intertextuality. So if anyone ever asks you for examples of magical realism in HIMYM, hopefully now you will be able to give them at least one answer. But in all seriousness, looking at pop culture or anything with a certain lens in mind (in my case, postmodernism) helps read between the lines of whats going on. I find that closely viewing movies and t.v shows or even literature gives a different perspective and shows the layers that can be hidden and I encourage everyone to stop watching HIMYM for a good laugh, but to really learn from the show.

[liftedbud]

Top 5 Strongest Indica (& IDH) Strains

Looking to get something for pain and stress relief or to help you rest and relax?  Then Indicas are for you!  Check out our list of the Top 5 Strongest Indicas and Indica Dominant Hybrids around right now, and if you can’t wait then head on over to www.LiftedBud.com and order some for yourself while you read!

G-13

The legend says that back in the 1960's, a group of government scientists bred some of the world's strongest cannabis plants over 13 generations, and the final result was the fabled G-13.  It's said to have been smuggled out of the facility by a brave stoner which led to its popularity in the 70's and 80's, but no one knows if any of these claims are true.  However, in 1999 the film "American Beauty" spoke about G-13 as "the weed that didn't give you paranoia" and all of a sudden G-13 had mainstream popularity - it's even one of the few cannabis strains that actually has a wikipedia page.  While it's history is unconfirmed, one thing that's definitely true is that G-13 is a powerful, quick acting indica.  It provides pain and stress relief almost immediately, and in small doses is a great strain for enjoying the outdoors and being social.  In higher doses however, G-13 is extremely relaxing and can give you a great night's sleep.

Critical Kush

Created by the breeders at the infamous Barney's Farm, Critical Kush is the product of two staple strains: OG Kush and Critical Mass.  This kush has the perfect combination of tangy citrus and earthy pine aromas, with approximately 25% THC and a surprising 1% CBD.  This THC and CBD ratio provides significant pain and stress relief coupled with euphoria and positive vibes.  Later into the Critical Kush experience  you're likely to fall into deep thought with a building feeling of relaxation that will eventually ease you into a deep, satisfying sleep.  If you suffer from conditions such as chronic pain/stress, insomnia or other sleep disorders, and depression, Critical Kush has been said to be one of the best cannabis treatments.  If you love beautiful buds with tons of trichomes and truly relaxing indica effects, Critical Kush is exactly what you're looking for.  For a similar strain, try our Critical +(Plus) on www.LiftedBud.com!

MK Ultra

No, this strain isn't named after a special move in Mortal Kombat - it's named after a CIA Mind Control project due to it's insanely powerful cerebral effects.  Bred from G-13 and OG Kush, MK Ultra shares a bit of the mysterious legendary history of G-13 and has adopted the widespread popularity of OG Kush.  Users can expect an instant wave of relief after enjoying this herb and soon after find themselves in an almost hypnotic state of euphoria and relaxation.  Renowned for winning multiple awards, MK Ultra is one of those powerful indica strains specifically recommended for pain relief and sleeping disorders, so it's best to not have any important plans for the day if you really want to enjoy this bud.  

Chemo

The Chemo strain is one of those rare flowers that was engineered and developed to target the needs of cancer patients suffering from the side-effects of chemotherapy.  It's rumoured that it was developed in the late 1960's to 1970's by David Suzuki at the University of British Colombia, which is why it's often called UBC Chemo.  It is said to be 100% indica however some tests have suggested a 30% sativa possibility.  Regardless, this strain offers an extremely potent indica high coupled with pain relief for both the body and mind.  The average THC levels range from 18-21% however some tests have shown it as high as 29%.  Chemo also contains one of the highest CBD percentages when it comes to cannabis, clocking in at 0.4%+ CBD.  If significant pain relief and relaxation is what you need, you can have Chemo delivered straight to your door through www.LiftedBud.com!

Death Star

While this strain may not have the power to destroy entire planets, Death Star is a quick and effective killer of stress, worries, and problems.  Bred from Sensi Star and Sour Diesel, Death Star comes with both the sativa and indica effects of it's parents - a very calming and fast acting euphoria that builds into a full body relaxation.  Some users have even mentioned feeling a massaging pressure on the back of their neck or behind their eyes after enjoying Death Star.  It's an extremely sticky bud often found with a little purple and a lot of trichomes, making for a beautiful presentation to go with it's wonderful effects.  Due to it's hybrid nature, it's great in small doses for day time use, but has the ability to give you an intense relaxation in the evening with larger doses.  The Force is most definitely strong with this one, and that's why it gets the top spot on our list! 

Have a favourite indica that didn’t make the list?  Reblog and let us know!  All this cannabis talk got you looking for some rest and relaxation?  Head on over to www.LiftedBud.com and check out our indica selection.  For more articles and posts like this, be sure to Follow the Blog and check us out on Twitter and Facebook @LiftedBud and on Instagram @LiftedBudCanada!  

-Stay Lifted

Produced, Written, and Published by Steven Keith Leandro.

[prorevenge]

The Neighborhood Bully.

This neighborhood holds memories to many shenanigans, but I thought this one would fit the blog. If you only want to read the actual act of revenge then it's the last paragraph!

A little bit of backstory to set this up....I grew up in a fairly large neighborhood back when having tons of neighborhood friends was still a thing. Our group was pretty large and at times was well over 10 people. We did everything together every single day. Now our group consisted of a bunch of oddballs. We had "nerds", football players, chubby kids, super skinny kids, boys/girls of various ages, etc.. Being nice and wanting to have fun was the only requirement and everything was going great.

Anyway, the "Bully" moves in and we ride our bikes over to do our standard mass introduction. We invite him to play with us anytime, and he takes us up on it immediately. The first day was slightly weird, but generally fine as far as first impressions go. Over the next week though we started to realize that he is an absolutely spoiled brat and a bully. Lost a game of anything? He would scream and start blaming people. He would push, call people names, and sometimes start crying over the most ridiculous things. Throwing fits every other day at least and going home mad as hell. He would start off fine, but randomly escalate to insane levels. We went from some Utopian society to having to break up fights, and constantly diffusing situations. To make matters worse his mom would always come chew us out after he went home, and blame us for events that didn't even happen. He had her wrapped around his finger, and she created a monster.

This went on for about a week and then "Bully" had his best friend come stay for a few nights with him. Together they formed the ultimate piece of shit final boss. We were playing four square, and "Bully" got eliminated. He of course screams that he wasn't out to our "ref", and then shoves her down in the dirt. A friend ran over to help her up and "Bully #2" shoved him down and then threw dirt on the girl while calling her a stupid bitch. I immediately told them to leave, and that they weren't allowed to play with us anymore. They laughed and "Bully" said see ya tomorrow for kickball. We knew they would most definitely come back just like he did every other day so we held an emergency tree house meeting. We always talked problems out and came to an agreement on things in our friends tree house, but this was definitely not something we were used to. We knew we had to get rid of them for good so we hashed out our plan.

The next day me and my friend were playing basketball at his house. Sure enough they come strolling up asking why we weren't playing kickball. We told them everyone else would be there soon, but we just got Mortal Kombat so we could go play it while we waited. Once we got upstairs I grabbed "Bully" and pulled him into the room on the right, and my friend grabbed "Bully #2" and pulled him into the room on the left. In each room was the rest of the group divided up waiting. Once they were in the room each person grabbed an arm or a leg and forced them into a chair where we tied them up. We removed the phones from the rooms and put Barney VHS tapes in the TV/VCR combos. These particular VCR's would rewind them automatically and play it again from the beginning every time it ended. This was the real torture to us for some reason. We knew the rope/chair situation would only last so long so we tied their doorknobs together as well with a shit ton of jump ropes. They were in there for probably an hour (or approximately watching the same Barney VHS 3 times from start to finish) before they got out of the chair. I have to admit it was hilarious watching them try to get out of the room. The jump ropes had enough give to where they could open the door like an inch max. One would open it and the other would cause it slam shut. They literally fought against each other for a bit. Thinking they had enough we told them if they promised to never come back we would let them out. The little shit said "I'll do whatever I want now let me out". Sure bud. See the thing is...my friends parents were both at work and wouldn't be home for many many hours so we kept them locked away for many many hours. We all went downstairs and watched multiple movies, ate lunch, played video games, and even went outside for a bit. Eventually it was time to let them out before any parents got home. We didn't think about this part, and we didn't really know what to do. So we did what any nervous kids would and grabbed a bunch of random ass items to use as weapons in case they "tried anything" when we let them out. We told them we were letting them out through the door and to back up. We opened the doors and they looked completely defeated which kind of made me feel really bad for them. We told them they could go, and they just left without saying a word. At this point panic kind of set in as we really thought his mom was going to come over and tell our parents what happened. We'd all be grounded for a long ass time, and we knew it. However, she never came and they never bothered us again.

(source) (story by PM_ME_RETRO_STUFF)