#and that baz one is pretty new too

[catsharky]

Wanted to post these separate from my Art Fight post because I spent too long on these references (really just Fallstreak's tbh) to keep them hidden away on the AF site. Also cause I love these guys and I haven't really talked about them much on here.

So for anyone who was curious about the previous art I posted of these OCs, have some actual information about them!

Nell

Full name Abnell Roache (will also accept 'Nella', but loathes being called 'Nelly'). A health and safety inspector for an interstellar cargo company, Nell becomes stranded on an ocean planet when the ship she's auditing- the ACS Endurance- experiences a catastrophic engine failure and tears itself in two.

Adrift on an endless alien sea with no guarantee of rescue and little emergency food, she has to survive with the help of Bas: an (illegal) AI inhabiting the chassis of her life pod's survival assistant. With her only goals being survival and finding any other survivors, she's unprepared to find herself making humanity's first contact with another sapient species; an alien biologist named Fallstreak who has also found himself trapped on the planet. 

She's thrilled to learn about Fallstreak and his people, as well as teach him as much as she can about humanity, and if she has an immediate, massively obvious crush on the tall faceless alien? Well, the only other person there to complain is Bas. Which he does. A lot.

Bas (Pronounced 'Baz')

An illegal AI inhabiting the chassis of a life pod survival assistant (though to clarify, in this universe all true AI are illegal because they require a human brain scan to be made and that's a legal rights nightmare). After years of only knowing his 'father', Richter (the engineer aboard the Endurance who purchased and programmed him), he boots up to find his home destroyed, his father dead, and himself in the company of a total stranger; Nell. 

He has a lot to deal with: keeping Nell alive, figuring out how to interact with someone other than Richter while also mourning his death, and acting as a middle-man/interpreter between Nell (who he has rapidly developed what seem to be romantic feelings towards) and Fallstreak (an alien biologist who's captured Nell's interest without even knowing what he has). 

And to top it all off? He has a text-to-speech Australian accent.

Fallstreak

An alien biologist with a bio-mechanical body, named after the cloud formation (look up 'Fallstreak holes', they're neat!) that most closely resembled an event that occurred on the day of his birth.

Extremely curious and wants to learn everything about his two new companions, as well as share his knowledge with them. Verbal language is all but entirely unused by his species, however, so the language barrier between Fallstreak and Nell+Bas is a large one. Thanks to Bas' assistance, he's able to understand spoken communication fairly well, and speaks (in very broken sentence structure) by vibrating the membranes in his gill openings, resulting in a voice that sounds somewhat like early English vocaloids; understandable but clearly not a natural voice.

Living a fairly solitary life isn't uncommon for his species, and he hasn't had the opportunity to experience romantic interest before, so when he meets Nell and begins to fall for her, he's more than a little confused (oblivious) about what his emotions are doing. Unfortunately draws some jealous ire from Bas as a result, but is pretty oblivious to the AI's attempted rivalry. 

--

All three of these guys are from a WIP comic called The Rive that I hope to finish some day. I have most of the story figured out, and quite a bit of it scripted and ready to go, I just need to actually draw the damn thing.

[azsazz]

Undercover

Jax x Reader [Next Gen Fic]

Summary: Anon Req: This one is for S, who wanted a better insight on Jax. A little combo of what you sent me-"or just a drabble about him and his mate (who is helping the IC with something but she doesn’t know about the bond) and how he tried to deflect the bond bcoz it’s a bit too much for him" and "since he’s an empath he has the ability to see bonds so imagine his surprise and the excess flood of emotions he feels when the bond snaps for him" (i hope this finds you💙)

Warnings: None

Word Count: 972

_________________________________________

This must be what the victims of his father’s torture must feel like, he thinks.

It itches at his skin, and no matter how hard he tries, how high he builds those walls to block it out, it’s still fucking there.

It gnaws on his skin like maggots on rot, featherlight wings beating in his ears like the hummingbirds Malos favors so much. It’s a constant, these days, makes Jax ache to dig his fingers into his skin, but not even the bite of pain would be enough for him to draw his attention away from that tether inside of him, lassoed around his heart.

And you don’t seem to feel a goddamn thing. You’re completely unknowing of the barbed rope you’ve coiled around his heart with your presence alone. How could you not realize the agony he’s in? How can you not feel the thundering of his heart whenever you are near?

He stands in the corner, shadows wreathed around his shoulders, eyes pinned to you as you move about his uncle’s ballroom, flanked by Castor and Sif. You’re wearing the darkest color of silk you could find, and if there’s a chance that you do know he is your mate, it would be this.

But he knows that you don’t know. He knows almost everything that is going on in the house, how everyone is feeling. How Baz is tingling with excitement as a couple waves his way, cheeks pink and bashful. How his father’s heart warms at the sight of his mother laughing with his uncles mates. How you and his cousins flutter with nervousness whenever a handsome fae male asks you to dance.

A whisper of darkness curls around the shell of his ear from the libraries below. A slight comfort, an invitation, should he need to escape the party and confide in the monster contained to this home.

Jax brushes the feeling away, gaze pinned to you. It’s overwhelming most times, being around this many people. Even a long dinner with the entirety of his uncle’s Inner Circle sends him almost reeling, though his powers have come a long way since childhood. He can block strong emotions out, manipulate them to his advantage, but the one he’s always had trouble reigning into submission has always been love.

He knows that a part of him doesn’t want to block the feeling out. It’s so raw, so breath-taking, it feels like he’s high with it when he’s surrounded by the emotion. It glows a minty green, swirling throughout the air of the ballroom. A new trick Jax had picked up while honing his powers, the ability to see auras and emotion in the air from just a glimpse. 

A blink, and it’s gone, and he’s still leaning against the wall with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, watching you twirl around in your pretty dress.

Knox is the first of his siblings to find him still lingering near the door. His family understands that events like this are not ideal for Jax, but he always makes sure to attend, say his hellos, and stick around as he practices blocking out the onslaught of emotions beating against the walls in his mind like a sledgehammer. 

He’s made it all of four hours this time.

And the party will rage on all night. He doesn’t usually care about missing out on the festivities, but with you here, he can’t force himself to leave. He’ll endure a thousand people's emotions to be able to glean a droplet of yours, even if you don’t even know he’s here.

You’re still here? Knox signs, slipping into the darkened corner with him. His youngest brother’s shadows wreath around their feet, and it’s not that Jax notices he hasn’t seen Malos in an hour and a half. Maybe he should leave, see if they can get into some sort of trouble. At least he’d be surrounded by his sister’s cool, calm, and collected character.

He hadn’t expected Knox to be the one to find him. Normally, it’s Baz’s shadows coiling tight around his wrists and dragging him across the ballroom, shoving a shot of liquor into his hand and keeping watch for their father while Jax slams it back, the heat burning his throat. Knox has been otherwise occupied with his own mate, who he’d had the pleasure of finding years ago. Jax remembers how the shock had burst from his mouth in the middle of dinner when he’d found out about Knox’s mate. He’d almost fallen from his chair.

It had felt different than this, though. Knox’s emotions had felt like his veins had burst into flames, the emotions held so tightly in his chest. The bond Jax feels with you is much different. It’s a calming breeze, a cool rush of relaxant in his blood. It makes his head dizzy, and he wonders if it will change when the bond becomes known for you. 

Jax nods once, and Knox’s gaze follows across the room. He’s not trying to hide the way that he’s looking at you, knows that Knox won’t tell a soul…except for Malos, but he knows the twins will take this to the grave if he asks them to.

Mate, then? Knox asks, but he already knows the answer. Jax is not easy to read but he knows his brother. Can see it in the tightness of his mouth, the tightness in which he’s clenching his fists, that predatory glint in his glowing eyes as he watches a male twirl you around the dancefloor. Why not go get her?

Jax shakes his head in response, finally ripping his gaze away from you as the song ends and you bounce over to his cousins, giggling and blushing. He allows the shadows to pull him deeper, towards the exit. “It’s not time yet.”

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 12 Thoughts: Nostalgia Bait

I have no real preamble on this one. I think it was a fun, straight forward, episode without too too much to really sink out not-soft teeth into here. Also please laugh at that subtitle, I'm very proud of it.

Spoilers for episode 12 below the cut.

A lot of office stuff here it feels like. Not a huge amount to really say on it as like with the rest of this episode it's more building on stuff we've already seen than it is adding new things to the show. Which is obviously not a bad thing but it's fairly straightforward. Celia and Sam are going on a date, which is cute, and Alice is very obviously jealous, which is also cute.

"You wouldn't be tempted?" "No" [bzzt]. Uh huh.

So first things first for the incident, this episode took places on 09/03/2024. 09/03/2024 is the date the incident in episode 10, Saturday Night, was filed. So everything that went down here was the same night that Gwen gave Bonzo the instructions and presumably he just killed whoever had their name in their. We don't really know who that was as of yet. Of the known characters I said it'd likely be Klaus but this was someone new. They're only identified as "Baz" in the episode, assuming the first victim was the main target, and we don't know any Bazs, Basils, or Barrys AFAIK. But if that's someone Gwen would know I think that only leaves two or three people it could be. I think most people will think Baz is a Bouchard or some other family member. I think it's possible that it's either someone on the corporate ladder that Lena eliminates as a show of "this is what it takes to move up in this company". There has been a lot of focus on Gwen's naivety in that area after all. The last main option I see is that it could just be someone fairly "random". Not someone Gwen is necessarily connected to but just some form of threat. Gwen "knows" them more in a general sense of "you know what I'm sending him to do, eliminate a threat". Hard to say just from the incident alone. The lunchbox and theme tune are "real" too, which is fun.

Outside of that not a load to say but it was a fun episode and it's nice to see Bonzo doing Bonzo things. It's really interesting that he appears to have either two "forms" or that he's got some sort of mental manipulation abilities. When Gwen saw Bonzo, despite being aware of him from TV, she reacted with abject horror. The party guests didn't. So either Bonzo didn't look like his current self or he's able to manipulate people's perception of him. Both would account for the reactions he got. Just a guy in a Bonzo suit. Not a sweaty meaty monster.

After that we just see Gwen horrified by the case. Which is an understandable reaction but I don't think its an elucidating one. I wouldn't say how she reacts shows anything beyond terrifying realisation about what the OIAR is. Her brief conversation with Alice also leans in that direction. So if it's a family member it doesn't look like one who's loss is felt as an immediate gut punch.

The only other comment I have on this is how refreshingly different Bonzo is being treated as a primary monster in this show. Unlike in TMA which did a lot of slow build up, small appearances, and things like that we've gotten two episodes very close together where he shows up and is a large focal point of the episode.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet

DPHW Theory: 4728 all seems pretty reasonably for what we saw. Death and Helplessness were not major thematic factors but Pain and Weird very much were.

CAT# Theory: 1.

R# Theory: B is totally in line with my ideas on this.

Header talk: Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy is what I have been waiting for. Sweet repetition. Sweet, sweet repetition. Episode 10, Saturday Night, was CAT1RB2275 - Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder. An identical Section (Subsection) with a different Crosslink.

This largely confirms that Crosslinks impact DPHW gradings. It doesn't say much about how these things are calculated but I'd wager it's something like Section (Subsection) gets a rating that is then modified by a Crosslink. Rather than all those combinations being in the book. It's not exactly useful information but does give more clarity on the role of the Crosslinks. With both cases having the same CAT#R# it's impossible to say at the moment whether that can be changed by the Crosslink.

[scone-lover]

Pics from Undredal 🌧️

When I started my fic Northern Downpour, I wasn't intending it to be a magical AU that explored... well, all it does. Destiny, magic, vampirism, family. I really just wanted to put it in this beautiful setting that kept popping up on my browser home screen. I literally threw a pin at the southwestern fjordlands of Norway and picked Undredal based on the goats.

Anyway, fast forward a year or so and I actually visited Undredal, like some type of crazy person. A big joy in writing this fic for me was crafting descriptions of the gorgeous scenery. Getting to see it in person was nothing short of absolutely magical. I walked the paths I've described in the fic, visited the cafe, took a kayak out on the fjord, and even got chewed on by a goat. I wrote in my journal, "I feel dwarfed in majesty."

I updated the fic a bit for accuracy, and here are some new pics with the real life locations!

The original photojournal can be found here.

Thank you all for following along- I love you dearly ❤️

Like, is this real?!?!?!?

More pictures below the cut.

the town

Simon's house No one was living there at the time so I didn't feel too stalkery lol. I was so enamored by this house, it's right at the edge of the main part of town and so charming.

Sunset from Simon's balcony

Simon's 30 second walk down the street

Undredal probably looks like this for most of the fic, since it takes place in the dead of winter

The real cafe!

The lighting situation in there is gorgeous, because norway.

with this beautiful outdoor deck!

ITS JUST SO PRETTY.

In the fic I envisioned that bright blue building on the water as the cafe - it seemed like the right color :)

WONDER VALLEY FOR REAL!!!!!

The real cheese room!

The stave church - so tiny

Insane views from kayaking - it started raining and the whole town just kind of disappeared into the fog and it was so gorgeous

I came back feeling exactly like a wet rat. Baz core

Oli captains one of these RIB tours lol

The river ran gold, and all that

You might recognize this shot from Twelve's art in chapter 12 :)

Undredal from above

Waffles with geitost!

Fancy ferries that Simon mentions in a later chapter

And here's Flåm from the water:

Goodbye Undredal <3

[roomwithanopenfire]

Six Sentence Sunday

Thanks for the tags @monbons and @hushed-chorus, I love seeing what you're working on and I'm so excited to read the new chapter of Those Glowing, Magickal Years later today!!

I've actually done a little bit of writing today, added a scene to the eighth chapter of Proof of Life and did a teeny tiny bit of editing on that chapter (I'm rapidly catching up to myself I fear, a pause in posting is nigh 😭).

But good news! I only have one week left of school! It's finals week but I don't have too many tests and papers to work on and no classes to go to, so hopefully I can mix in a little writing into my day. And then after this week, I'm done with my first year of college—which still feels kind of insane to me.

I'm posting the newest chapter of Proof of Life (my Natasha Lives AU) tomorrow and this one is going to be good! You all will like it, I know. It was super hard to pick a snippet because less than halfway through the chapter [redacted] shows up and you guys aren't allowed to know about that yet, so enjoy some Penny and Simon dialogue.

Snippet and tags under the cut.

Penny considers this. “You really think Baz is hurt, don’t you? That it’s something serious.”

“Well, it’s either that or he’s plotting and, you know, innocent until proven guilty.”

Penny snorts at that. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” Penny shakes her head. “Just, that’s pretty funny coming from the boy who’s convinced Baz is a vampire when there’s no proof.”

“There’s plenty of proof,” I splutter. 

Penny holds up a hand. “Please, spare the monologue, I’ve heard all of this before”

“You’re the one who brought it up.” I cross my arms, feeling a bit like a petulant child.

Tags and Hellos:

@facewithoutheart @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @run-for-chamo-miles @raenestee @onepintobean

@artsyunderstudy @prettygoododds @noblecorgi @angelsfalling16 @thewholelemon

@shrekgogurt @brendughh @a-maisie-ng @hertragedyconnoisseur @beastmonstertitan

@valeffelees @horsesarenotdeer @drowninginships @supercutedinosaurs @fiend-for-culture

@rimeswithpurple @cutestkilla @alexalexinii @ileadacharmedlife @arthurkko

@rbkzz

Also I keep adding new people to this tag list and if you ever don't want to be tagged let me know 😭 tagging people will probably always make me a little nervous adlkfjadf

[bcofl0ve]

Hi, what cool facts and curiosities would you tell people who are just entering the fandom? And does Austin live in L.A? you seem so cool, I love your account :)

aww thank you! and he does indeed live in la!

my fav fun facts i think are all listed in my new fans master post thing but hmmm what are some others i didn’t put in there…lemme think.

• he mentioned it a ton during elvis press when asked if he had a hidden talent that he’s…really good at pogo sticking.

• after he won the bafta him and baz were out partying in london till almost 5am and that whole night is one of my favorite fandom memories ever. we were all just having a /blast/ refreshing twitter as more and more after party content dropped. photos such as…a photo revealing he had scrapped his suit jacket and one of his fancy cartier rings, a little video of his security like halfway walking his cute drunk ass to his car…videos of a veryyyy drunk baz luhrmann giving a little speech at a party and not making a lick of sense. a great night for butler nation. (photo from the next morning 🤣)

• another fun fandom mem is when his ysl campaign first dropped. ive been meaning to make a master post of them, but if you google ‘austin butler ysl interview’ you can find a TONNNN of interviews that he did for that. like- i was not expecting a fragrance campaign to involve so much press! and it was esp fun bc that happened during the sag strike, and gave us content during a pretty dry period.

• he went to the eras tour with kaia in august! another fun fandom memory, i was over the MOOONN. as huge swiftie myself. the second video in this tweet is where the ‘in front of god and laura dern’ joke i make on here comes from bc she was in the tent too that night (and is friends with them). here’s him and k during midnight rain. also i can’t find the tweet but someone that was there that night said they were making out during betty LOL!

[prettygoododds]

Thanks @thewholelemon for the tag

I’m panicking a bit because I just realized posting for COC starts tomorrow and I have definitely not gotten enough prompts done nor have I worked on my other two wip. Ive instead stared at my laptop wishing the thoughts in my head would magically turn into pretty words without me doing anything. And that’s not happening so cue the panic

Anywho, a few words did make it to paper ( or the screen… whatever). Here’s some for Sugar, We’re Going Down Swingin

“Could one of you storm out and threaten to never play on the ice with one of us again?,” Simon jokes, giving me a wink before continuing on. “Baz had a full on meltdown on the way here and we need to justify it.”

“Shove off,” I tell him, and literally shove him into the closest lockers. He rights himself too fast and is up and pulling me to him by my waist before I can protest. I look around nervously, wondering where the line is. Is this it? A elongated hug maybe? Pecks on the cheek?

“Relax, babe,” Simon whispers in my ear. “They don’t care. And if they did.. I’d beat them up.”

I laugh even though I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean it as a joke.

And a little snippet of the COC prompt I’m working on

“You gonna tell me how you got a split lip?” He asks me, looking anywhere but at me. His long, black hair is piled up on top of his head. Looks like a birds nest, but I can’t stop staring at it.

“I didn’t start it, if that’s what you’re asking,” I say. He just hums in response, taking another bit of his sandwich. “I also didn't end it.”

That finally makes him look at me.

“Oh?”

“I told you, I don’t want to blow the sweet gig I have a picking up rubbish with some posh twat,” I tell him. He looks skeptical. I bump his knee with mine and continue. “Used my words instead.”

“And they say you can’t teach an old dog new trick.”

“He did get one hit in, wouldn’t say it was a complete success.”

And that’s all she wrote. Literally.

**EDIT** I’ve just been informed by @dohrnaira and @rimeswithpurple that posting doesn’t start until Saturday. Imma a dork

Tags: @ic3-que3n @dohrnaira @facewithoutheart @artsyunderstudy @imagineacoolusername @shemakesmeforget @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ionlydrinkhotwater @wellbelesbian @rimeswithpurple @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla @blackberrysummerblog @nausikaaa @supercutedinosaurs @nightimedreamersworld @valeffelees @iamamythologicalcreature @shrekgogurt @ileadacharmedlife @martsonmars @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[cattocavo]

Six sketch sunday

Thanks so much for tagging me @thewholelemon

I actually have something pretty exciting to share if i do say so myself!

In november 2022 i did a master study of romeo and juliet by frank bernard dicksee. I was very happy with it. But over time I’ve become less and less happy with it, specifically how baz looks :((

This is due to the fact that i traced A LOT in late 2022 (I was 15 ok, I’m sure we’ve all had one of those phases😭) I traced the whole painting, but baz was hard bc the original painting featured a woman, and her whole figure was covered by a white loose dress. 2022 me did their best interpreting the shapes and forming a new body for baz, but honestly they didn’t do it very well. Ive hated Baz’s face and body for a while now, but still loved simon and the painting in general. Which is why I came to the conclusion that for me to be at peace and happy with it again, I have to remaster it!

And again I’ve had this on my mind for a while now, mulling it over, because it’s quite a big project. But 7 days ago i finalized my decision and started looking at references and whatnot. It took me so long to find references bc I was confused of the angle of Juliet’s head in the original painting (so I’ve changed the angle whoops) and i needed to make sense of it all. Before i knew it i had spent 5 hours (according to procreates tracker) drawing, and literally nothing had changed.. but then i spent like 2 hours more and THAT did it. It was like digging a whole in the ground searching for water. You dig a little and nothing happens, and when you finally dig deep enough the water reveals itself like a goldmine.

Anyways, i haven’t gotten around to do any recoloring yet, so ill show you the sketch (ahem, traced) of my 2022 version versus what I have now

The one on the left is the 2022 version. The one on the right is the current sketch.

I’m trying to incorporate a lot more body language from baz this time around. I think the old sketch of baz was very rigid. His torso is very short 💀 my biggest issue was his face though. It was far too feminine. The bone structure wasn’t exactly giving baz, in fact the whole face didn’t look like baz to me. The expression also bothered me, it was too superficial. Like it’s exactly the predictable expression you expect him to have. I tried to spice it up in the new version by making him appear a bit more anguished. It’s romeo and juliet after all.

Im currently looking at references to what clothes he should be wearing (don’t worry, i wont cover up his sleeves. Even if it’s more time period accurate) so if y’all have any inspo or suggestions, feel free to share them with me!

While baz is the inly thing getting completely redone, I’m also touching up some other thins. Just giving it a more refined, finished look overall. The plants in the original were really messily done, so i’m gonna work a lot on those. 2022 me also slacked on the curtains, so I’m repainting those to match the original frank bernard painting.

Once I’m done with it all i think i might sell some prints. Ive gotten requests to sell prints of this one before, but never really got around to do more than research. If i do make prints, I’m a bit worried they’ll all go to waste bc they’ll have to be shipped from denmark, and shipping in expensive :(( (I’ve tried to set up middlemen and it didn’t work for me. Red bubble wont even allow me to add a credit card😬) but if y’all are still interested in prints, do let me know! Ill definitely put in more of an effort to make it happen if i know it wont be in vain :))

Thats all from me for today :3 see ya next time

(Also check out what my COBB partner @thewholelemon is doing! It’s gonna be so good!)

Tags! @monbons @raenestee @j-nipper-95 @orange-peony

Id love to see what y’all are doing!

[aristocratic-otter]

Stars, Flowers, and Children

A new SnowBaz fanfic by Aristocratic_Otter

A few weeks ago, I posted here that I had two stories in equal stages of completeness (aka, more than half done) and asked for opinions on which I should post first. The winner, by one vote, was TikTok dancer. Except, in the weeks since then, I've decided that the beginning of Tiktok Dancer is not necessarily complete, so sorry to those who voted for it! The first twelve chapters of this story are not going to be changed, so you get this one. I'm pretty proud of it, and I hope you all like it too!

Summary:

To Simon, Baz is a stuck up brat he has to put up with in between his duties as cabin boy on the HMS Watford. To Baz, Simon is the chavvy, illiterate savage of a boy who won't bow and scrape the way he's supposed to. Marooned together because of a disaster at sea, they'll have to come together as allies in order to survive. But they're destined to become so much more than that.

Chapter 1: The Cabin Boy and the Aristocrat's Son

“Three things remain with us from paradise: stars, flowers and children.”

— Dante Alighieri

Part 1: The Storm in the Caribbean (West Indies)

Chapter 1: The Cabin Boy and the Aristocrat’s Son

Simon

The sky is a perfect blue, the breeze is licking against my cheeks like a happy dog, and Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch is the biggest arsehole on all of the seven seas.

You’d think he was five years older than me, the way he acts, not a measly few months. He’s standing across from me, frowning fiercely as I take my time thinking through the order he’s just given me.

“Show me the cargo hold, cabin boy!”

The command, coming as it was in the high voice and posh accent of the SS Watford’s most obnoxious passenger, caught me by surprise. Tyrannus Basilton, or Baz, as I’ve heard his mother calling him, has ignored me for the most part, since we set sail from the port of Southampton. When he’s come across me in his explorations of the ship, he doesn’t say anything, he just stares at me like I’m something particularly foul that he’s just stepped in.

I hate him.

Continue Reading on AO3

[blackberrysummerblog]

I liiiive! I cannot believe how long it’s been since I’ve posted an excerpt on here, but it’s been a pretty spoonless month (cue lengthy attempt at discussing the situation followed by a quick delete, because seriously? Whine moar 🙄). Thank you so much to all you lovelies who have kept tagging me; it’s been so nice to feel remembered! @wellbelesbian, @j-nipper-95, @orange-peony, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @alleycat0306, @artsyunderstudy, @prettygoododds, @shrekgogurt, @larkral, @valeffelees, @fatalfangirl, @facewithoutheart, @nightimedreamersworld, @rimeswithpurple, @forabeatofadrum, @confused-bi-queer and @cutestkilla all tagged me recently and I’ve been so delighted to see what you’ve all been working on! This fandom really has the most talented writers and artists <3

As for me, I’ve been working on a few things as well! Some of you may have seen a woeful post last week when I realized I’d been writing one of my CORBs in a file I’d unwittingly created on my work account. *chef’s kiss* Beautiful. The upshot of that is that I lost thousands of words after hastily and permanently deleting the file, then buried myself under six feet of rocky soil in the backyard. But I’ve since climbed out and have been recreating it! (In my PERSONAL documents this time!) I’m not sure I’m allowed to say who I’m collaborating with or how much of the summary I can share, but I don’t think it’s giving away too much to say that it’s an AU where Baz is a demon nobleman in hell and Simon is a mortal merman who catches his eye. It’s a really creative concept and I’m excited to be working on it! Here’s a few more than six sentences (and some other fic excerpt shares) under the cut:

I’m lost in the dream again when Métis buzzes in my ear, and I try my damnedest not to hear her. I roll over and pull the shadows closer, but she burrows in nonetheless. “No,” I grumble as blue eyes and golden scales slip away from me once more, leaving nothing but ripples in the fluidity of retreating sleep. As I sit up and scowl at my father’s right hand pest, I can just about recall the setting sun limning bronze curls with a reddish halo.

Halo—ha.

“He wantsz to szeeee you,” Métis hums, settling alight in her favorite spot atop the curve of my left horn. “Sayszz it’s important.”

There’s just the barest fog of despair weaving around my ankles as I make my way to Father’s chambers, nurturing the chill that always permeates my corporeal form. An unexpected meeting seldom brings good news, but I wouldn’t say speaking with him is the last way I’d want to spend these early hours—the hypocritamus pools need sieving, after all. Depending on their recent diet and the subject Father wishes to discuss, the difference may be vanishingly slight.

The second thing I’ve been working on is from an anon prompt on @carryonprompts, which I’m going to paraphrase as “post-awtwb Simon getting kidnapped and Baz (plus Penny and Sheperd) having to be the one to play the hero to Simon’s damsel for a change.” Here’s six sentences:

I pull him up to his knees and kick his legs apart, stabilizing him.

Baz is so far out of this one’s league; I’ve never known what he sees in this deformed, ill-mannered, working-class mage.

He’s handsome enough in spite of the wings though, I suppose—in a brutish way. His eyes flash at me when I knot my fingers in his dirty hair to pull his head back, lifting his face. Square-jawed and broad through the shoulders and chest, thick-thighed, what we would have called a bit of rough, once. The faithful common laborer you could count on to throw you down on top of the bed for the pounding of a lifetime—is that all that Baz wants him for?

Lastly, a good bit more than 6 sentences from my still-unpublished crucible marriage AU, just because. I know I once posted a paragraph where Baz was taking Simon clothes shopping after being scandalized by the state of his drawers, and this is a resulting scene:

“Baz!” Snow shouts from the changing room. Balthazar’s balls, what’s the issue? He can’t want me to go in there. “Baz, c’mere!” He…wants me to go in there. I take a deep breath and push open the door fractionally.

“What, Snow?”

“Come in here!”

“I swear to magic, if you’re naked—” Oh. Oh, Crowley. This may somehow be worse. Simon is wearing the snug fitting blue knit shirt I sent him in with, and it would be showing off his biceps and chest enough to blow what’s left of my mind even if he didn’t have it hitched halfway up his abdomen. He’s changed into a pair of the short new boxer briefs we purchased in the last store (ordinarily I’d recoil at the notion of not washing them first, the heathen, but—Simon) and he’s gripping the waistband of a pair of soft grey trousers that he’s pulled halfway up his arse.

“I thought you might want to check out the new pants,” he says casually, nodding toward his backside as if I could pry my eyes away with a crowbar. “Do these get the seal of approval, then?”

I can’t speak. I think I may be salivating. Simon grins at me then, dragging one side of the trousers up while letting the other drop below the curve of his world-ending arse. He shimmies the exposed cheek in my direction, working himself into the trousers one centimeter at a time.

“You menace,” I hiss, unable to modulate my voice to a normal speaking level.

“What?” He finishes hitching the trousers up and leans back against the wall, not bothering to do up the flies. “Do I look OK?”

“No.” His face falls and I can’t bear it, even for a joke. “You look delicious. Absolutely debauched.”

“Debauched?!” Simon’s offended moue melts into something else as I slink toward him purposefully. “I don’t look debauched.”

He does. Trousers open, shirt still pushed up over his navel, curls in disarray from his habit of manhandling them when frustrated. I lean over him, my feet on either side of his, and he’s even farther beneath me than usual because of how he’s slouched back against the wall. He gasps softly when I take hold of his waistband and fasten the button of his trousers, my knuckles grazing the soft hair on his belly.

“Baz…nngh.”

I’ve drawn the zipper up carefully, but not so carefully that I’m not palming him over his trousers. I’ve barely touched him, but I note with satisfaction the goose flesh rising on his forearms. “Shh, love,” I murmur in his ear, tugging down his shirt so that it covers his stomach. Once he’s no longer indecent, I run both hands up under his shirt, squeezing at his thick, firm waist. Simon moans, tipping his head back to expose his long neck, and I’m dropping kiss after kiss there when I hear a sudden clearing of someone’s throat behind us.

It’s the changing room attendant, scowling in through the door that I foolishly left open. “Can I bring you gentlemen any different sizes?”

And that’s about it! I’d tag people if I hadn’t gotten to post this so late in the day, but as it stands I think most everyone’s already posted today. I hope everyone’s had a great week and that the next one is even better! :)

[captain-aralias]

giving birth

idk, i'm pretty sure some people wouldn't write a post about going into labour on tumblr, but it's a thing i wanted to write about, so - it's here if you want it! if you'd rather avoid, don't click the read more.

things normal people might want to know outside the cut:

baby is now 11 days old <3 things are generally going well. i sleep between about 11pm and 3am, and then again 8am to 10am

it's been hard to get enough brain together to write a post like this, reply to comments, read fic, etc, as many of my most cogent hours have been visitor hours or hanging out with my partner. the night shift is not a good time to do things that aren't watching TV. i've managed to Read Half a Book (daisy jones and the six - easy going, i like it)

i was going to cosplay him as baby simon snow left at the orphanage, but he looks nothing like simon (much more like baz - currently: grey eyes, reddish-gold skin, dark hair), and also i don't want to write on my baby :o

surprise fourth entry: we think the terrace house next door has been turned into a brothel ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok - birth stuff after this. not too much gory detail, probs, but some.

the beginning part you already know!

waters broke on thursday 11th, just after i woke up. this was two days after the stitch was removed, and therefore almost certainly related, so hooray for stitch! kept the baby in until 37 weeks.

i'd been worried that i might not realise my waters had broken, as apparently this is totally possible. i am here to tell you - that YES, it is possible. i clocked what it probably was immediately, but also it wasn't a 4 cups of liquid is everywhere sort of deal, it was more like - about half a cup every hour or so. and so i thought - this is probably what is happening, but maybe it's not and i should have done more pelvic floor exercises.

went to hospital. got hooked up to the machine that monitors baby heartbeat and movement. nothing much happening, although heartbeat all ok. the midwife on duty was called 'merlyn' - true story.

she asked me to walk around for a bit and come back, so my partner and i walked to the costa coffee inside the hospital. i ordered one of the new 'bubble' drinks, because i thought - why not? it's sugary and cold, these are things that make babies move. the drink was...... not good. blueberry slushy with cream on top and bubbles that were a) too big to fit through the absolutely normal straw and b) apparently were a cross between blueberries and popping boba. i say apparently as i'd given up by then and my partner ate them.

anyway - this detail included just to show you how surreal and nothingy early labour was. we walked back, hooked back up to the machine. baby now kicking a bit, and merlyn asked me whether i just had a really high pain tolerance and therefore wasn't upset about the contractions. i said, 'i dont know - guess we're about to find out' 🤔

agreed i probably wasn't in labour yet, so i was sent home, but asked to come back at 4.30 for my pre-scheduled scan with the nice doctor who first realised my cervix was open, and who we've seen regularly since (because my partner rang to complain when we had no follow up, and because this doctor was the one who rang us back and then made sure we were seen afterwards. not brilliant work from NHS administrators).

was also told if i didn't go into labour before hand, to come back at 8.30am (24 hours after waters broken) to be induced. given leaflet about induction methods. key take away - could take up to 3 days. sounds terrible.

home for 2 hours, back to hospital for scan.

we were waiting around for about half an hour. shown in - doctor says, 'we've had some difficult patients today, sorry! but you should be easy'. my partner tells her my waters have broken - she's surprised! (but pleased) no one has managed to tell her or put it in any notes, which she just reviewed. again - great job. i do love you NHS, but what is going on? a student midwife is trying to scan me - and has had to deal with all these previous difficult cases. with little amniotic fluid left, her job is basically impossible. sorry :'(

but - waters breaking confirmed! honestly, until that point i was still not sure. doctor says, induction could be offered immediately, but we mostly don't do that as in almost all cases you go into labour before 24 hours. i said thank you again for spotting my cervix being open. weird to think we won't see her again!!

went home. watched the end of 'little dorrit' (overall - it's good. so many famous people. the ending is a bit all over the place, though). about 9pm started feeling period-pain type pain. figured: probably a contraction! definitely did not feel like i expected in that there was no real release. it was just - now you're having a painful period. i called maternity triage again to say there was blood in the water now, and they reminded me that was totally normal (mucus plug, i guess) and to come back when things were serious.

so - i went to sleep.

woke up at about 2am. contractions now serious business, but also still... not as serious as i'd expected. again: basically it felt like period pain, this time crossed with constipation. and then it would go away, and i'd feel totally normal again, which i was not expecting.

we'd been told to come in when the contractions were every 5 minutes for an hour. my contractions were coming about ever 2-3 minutes. after about 20 minutes, i told my partner that i wanted to go to the hospital now, even if we should really wait. this was the RIGHT decision.

i'm the only one who can drive our car. it was obviously not a good idea to drive the car. i called an uber. unfortunately the labour ward is on the other side of the hospital to the main entrance, and doesn't have an address you can give uber..... retrospectively i'd have done better just putting in the street, like i usually did, but i tried to use the labour ward post code. we ended up at the main entrance, which was shut.

erin (my partner) keeps telling people that the uber drive was annoyed i slammed the door of his car, but i honestly do not remember this. the drive was about 10 minutes, during which i alternated between feeling bad and feeling totally fine.

we didn't bother trying to direct the driver to the right part of the hospital, just got out. erin wanted to go and get a wheelchair, but i didn't want to just sit on the ground outside the hospital in the middle of the night while she did that, and i felt completely fine ... except when i didn't.

so we walked to the labour ward. it's about 5 minutes from the entrance. i sat on the floor when the contractions came. then walked again. cool times.

arrived at maternity triage. again, it felt like going there every other time we'd ever been there - my key take away is that most of being in labour was extremely underwhelming. pain was not great, to the extent that i was thinking 'i can see why people don't like labour, maybe this was a terrible idea', but i could still think things like that. they hooked me up to the same machine as they had in the morning, and this time it said - yes, definitely in labour (which i knew, but ho hum - it was doing its best!).

asked to confirm i was a low risk pregnancy. we were like - nope, don't think so. ivf, stitch, isnt that in the notes??

a midwife came over and was like - "WOW, you're 8cm dilated." (of the necessary 10cm) at which point they started to take everything a bit more seriously. but they also described a bunch of pain relief options - and i was like, whatever, give me whatever i can have. and then was told - oh no, you actually can't have pethadine, water birth, or epidural of these as you're too far along. (which i also knew, but then why offer?)

i'd sort of suspected this might be the case, given how my cervix tried to open at 21 weeks. so my birth plan was basically 'whatever'. v glad i hadn't had my heart set on anything in particular.

they wheeled me down the corridor to one of the birthing rooms. they wouldn't let me go to the toilet in case i had the baby in the toilet..... that's how quickly things were happening.

i managed to change into the hospital gown, then got onto the bed. 'this is such a comfortable bed' i told my partner, although later (post birth) i realised that it wasn't... but i appreciated it a lot at the time.

i WAS allowed gas and air, hurrah. i'm extremely keen on doing things that make my life easier, so i accepted, obvs. basically, you breathe in during the contractions, and breathe out of the mask normally when you're not contracting.

THIS made the whole experience very different from just 'intense period pain', in part probably because the pain was ramping up, but also because whenever i wasn't contracting i felt completely off my face from the gas. overall, i thought this was a decent pain relief option. i also liked how breathing in the gas gave me something to focus on while pain was happening and it was a clear signal to everyone else that it was happening.

i probably had about... 5 more before my body was like 'maybe time to push'. (it really did feel different/like an actual urge). midwife told me i couldn't have the gas and air anymore - boo - just focus on pushing when the urge came.

pushed...... but obviously it hurt, so even though they were like 'keep pushing!' i thought, i will just relax because that's less painful. (great job, brain.) but i only faked out twice.

they invited a doctor in, because i was bleeding, and baby's heartrate was dropping. i agreed to the episiotomy because even though i reeeally didn't want that, i obviously would do whatever to get the baby safe.

retrospectively, my partner and i think that probably i was bleeding because i'd just had the stitch out two days before and those wounds had opened. but neither of us thought of it at the time, and no one assisting with the birth had had time to read the notes. (this is a theme of the post, not to be too whingey - but it was a shame). but anyway, the cutting (boo) came with a side of local anaesthetic (HOORAY) so actually it felt like a very good decision at the time, even above baby's safety.

one more contraction, one more push - baby was born in one go.

he's premature-levels of small at 5lb 10oz (5th percentile), even though he's technically full term. this is why erin and i think the bleeding was from the stitch rather than the baby, although one of the midwives suggested perhaps he was holding his arm up next to his face and that made him seem bigger. the scan we got the day before estimated his weight as being more normal, but scans are super unreliable particularly late in pregnancy.

really a very easy birth, as far as i can tell. i had slept through a lot of the early stage. the fear of being at home at not with medical professionals was the worst bit (and we fixed that by just going in even when we weren't sure) and as soon as it was over, i felt immediately fine. the whole thing had taken 2 hours tops. baby born at 4.30am.

i thought i'd cry when they gave me the baby, but actually i was too surprised that he was actually there and alive. (my partner cried.) the umblical cord looks creepy and alien. we'd agreed a medical professional should cut the cord, rather than erin (who wants to do this? they just want dads to feel involved). i got to hold him baby while they gave me the shot to deliver the placenta. barely felt it.

then had to give baby to erin for 30 minutes while a fuck tonne of stitches were put in... the amount of sewing involved was definitely worrying. i'd assumed maybe like... two stitches, but... it was a lot. can't recommend (though could not feel it at the time.)

after that, we just got to hang out in the room. i showered, changed, they brought me (but not erin) some breakfast and lunch. they did tests on the baby, most of which he passed. didn't pass the hearing test but apparently this is normal, as lots of babies have fluid in their ears. we think he can hear as he has startled at loud noises since. all the clothes i'd brought were hilariously too big.

sent home about 12 hours after the birth. could have stayed if we'd wanted to, but definitely did not.

i felt totally fine the entire day of the birth, full of LOTS of adrenalin. second day was also ok. third day was my crash. i got a cold, which was NOT good for my pelvic floor (and which i still have, RIP). my stitches hurt, the sleep debt had kicked in and i was hobbling everywhere, and breastfeeding wasn't going well. before the birth i'd been very much of the opinion that i'd breastfeed if it was easy, but i found it kind of weird and knew the health benefits were exaggerated. (but not completely, obviously). deep in my hormones, i was not able to hold onto this previously rational view. instead, i was thinking - i have no connection to my baby anymore.

i also cried at the song 'making a man' from the musical operation mincemeat (which is NOT an emotional song - but is about someone with the same name as my baby, who i'd just made), the beginning of the movie 'in the heights' (it was just so good!), the ending of the movie 'pride', and i cried again while describing what had happened at the end of 'pride' and how i'd cried.....

bought several breast pumps, fed the baby formula, took a day off from trying to breastfeed, things pretty much fixed for me (except for the crying at movies) by day 5. going to continue with combination feeding (i.e. breastmilk+formula) though, because it just seems insane to have to wake up every time the baby is hungry. what am i, a sadist? and when people are over - how good not to have to get your breasts out... thank you makers of formula.

ANYWAY. we're now on day 11. feels like baby is pretty easy going for a baby, he only cries when he needs something - which i appreciate, as it helps me keep him alive \o/ he will sleep in his basket, but only if he's already asleep. he prefers to be held. he can sleep for 3 hours at a time, but only during the day - at night you're lucky to get 1 hour, and he has been awake for about 2 hours at a time, unlike about 15 minutes average in the day. he smells nice, he wasn't cute-cute when he first came out, but he is getting extremely cute now and i think he looks more like my partner than an unknown donor (although still all to play for, i think). because he's still super small and almost pre-term, his legs and arms are still all curled up like he's in the womb, even though he's been out 11 days. but he's gradually uncurling them and stretching out.

i like holding him. he makes funny faces. he has a LOT of hair - which means the heartburn was right about that one. (n.b. heartburn is linked to hair, this is an old wives tale that is now scientifically proven) think it's going well, overall <3

n.b. i had to pause at this point because baby woke up. what they say about baby boys peeing on you while you change their nappies is 100% accu-rat, but it's quite funny really. we haven't worked out how to stop it because putting a cloth over him makes him hold it in..... and then you remove the cloth....... fine comedy in action.

my bump was very small, so i was able to put my pre-pregnancy jeans back on after only a few days. hooray, i love jeans.

uterine contractions started about day 6 (this is a thing i feel i did not know about before being pregnant myself. 7 days worth of contractions post baby to bring your uterus back in line). wow, it's like MORE PERIOD PAIN. great. there's less blood than i expected, though. i also can't control my temperature well at night - so i'm super hot while asleep, then get out of bed and start shivvering. apparently this is what the menopause will be like. looking forward to that 😅

not much else to add except the brothel stuff. basically 2 nights ago, someone knocked on my front door at 4.30 (same time baby was born!) in the morning as i was sitting up with baby. rang the doorbell, walked round to peer through the window, and then knocked again. i would not have answered - just wanted him to go away, but erin came down and opened the door, which was (it turns out) the right thing to do, but i was not happy about it - as we live in a semi-dodgy neighbourhood, although i've always felt relatively safe as we're off the highstreet and there are often people outside the pub until 1-2am, which is annoying but also feels like they'd see and stop anything bad.

i was running through scenarios like 'and then he breaks in' or 'and then he stabs whoever opened the door' in my mind. instead he just said something like - 'do you know where the whorehouse is?' and erin said 'wtf, it's 3am' and closed the door.

this could have just been a random incident, and indeed i didn't hear him say 'whorehouse' so i thought it was just a drunk guy asking for directions. but once she told me what he'd said, we then realised that the house next door to us... probably is a brothel. it's been renovated by our ex-neighbours and rented out, all the windows are blacked out, including the skylight we can see out of our windows. there's a complex doorbell system, they refuse to take our packages in, they don't have any bins out the front (which is presumably because no one is using the house as a house), and we've definitely heard people having sex through the walls. though erin thinks they've put up sound insulation just in time to not have to hear the baby crying in retaliation.

she's american and leftie and very against cops, so i'm trying not to be a karen about it. i have not reported it to the police, but i have said to erin already that if anything else happens that makes me feel unsafe...... i probably will. the man knocking on the door makes me not want to be awake with the baby in the night, even though nothing happened. (he broke the first rule of secret brothel - you DONT talk about secret brothel). we don't have our ex-neighbours details, so reporting is all we could do. apart from i guess ask them to move.... (won't be doing that, obvs. confrontation? no thanks.)

hopefully it's fine, and they will just move on at some point. VERY weird, though. and not what i need while hopped up on hormones.

glad to have written this post! feels like a good turning point in baby land, being able to write some words even if it's just this stream of consciousness. i also logged back into work Teams to send some pictures. since he was born, have been out with baby to the midwife (in the car), marks and spencers (in the car with pram), boots (in the pram), and today to a hipster coffee shop (in car, baby slept in pram bassinet). might reply to some comments tomorrow. working back up to actually writing some fic or finishing my lego.

also - it's (almost) hitting me that i have 9 months off work. apart from the sleep, i feel like i could go back to work now.... but i WANT the time off. but usually i only take 2 weeks off, and i've done that now... so it's time to go back to work...

i did read a bunch of other messages on Teams/Slack when i was posting the pictures. v hard not to care. even with something much more important to do.

ok - going to eat some food, now. thank you to anyone who read this far! hope it was interesting as well as long.

not tagging this pregnancy as i was doing it so people could block the tag, but people who don't know me literally found my posts and read them. and ... that's not what this is for.

[sucrosette]

★— ⋆｡˚ [New Things]

For Day 8 of Carry on Countdown 23, Sick. @carryon-countdown

Basil's nurse partner takes the best care of him when he's sick, even if he's a touch infuriating about how much he'd rather be working.

Rated T, for canon-typical banter and casually dropping the fuck bomb. Nothing really offensive though.

This is the second part of three I've planned for a Nurse/Lawyer AU for this CoC 🖤

⋆｡˚

“You’d think–” Simon calls from the kitchen, banging about in Baz’s cabinets, “My hot lawyer boyfriend would know when to cut his losses. I mean that’s half lawyering, isn’t it? Knowing when you can win or something. I’m pretty sure you’ve said so to me before~!”

Baz groans into his pillow, trying and failing to push himself out from under the covers. Simon wouldn’t be able to hear him if he tried to argue from this far across the house. Between Simon’s hearing, her habit of avoiding her aids in the house, and Baz’s voice being most of the way to gone, he’d have to at least be in the same room to stop her smug talk.

He manages to get up onto his knees, chest heaving with the effort, but before he can slide himself off the edge of the bed, Simon’s already beside him, gently but firmly shoving him back down onto the mattress. He looks utterly disappointed in Baz, but for all Baz tries to win the staring contest, he only manages to look a bit pitiful.

“Stop trying to fight the urge to rest, you twit,” Simon raps his fingers soft against Baz’s forehead, “You need more sleep. And I can’t be here to monitor you 24/7, as much as I’m sure you’d love that.”

Baz doesn’t miss her sarcasm. “Let me at least have my laptop,” he rasps out, a cough trailing at the tail end of his sentence.

“Absolutely not. You’ll end up on some conference call and then you’ll be researching for a new client, and then you’ll be putting together a case, and then it’ll be twelve hours later and you’ll be that much more worse for wear,” Simon shakes his head as he says it, only reinforcing his position.

“What am I supposed to do with myself if I’m not working?” It comes out more a whine than Baz cares to admit, but Simon pets through his hair in answer, the soft comfort easing the ache in his lungs, eyes fluttering closed momentarily.

“You have your books. The remote's right there for the tele. You’ll live without meetings for a couple of days, love. You know your boss already knows I’m going to rip her a new one if she lets you tune into work anyway.” Simon presses a kiss to his forehead, and then another, softer, “I have to go out for a bit. Promise me you’ll stay right here. And try and drink your tea too.”

Baz groans at the thought of swallowing, but he sits up enough to take his tea in hand and breathe in the steam rising from the cup. At least that much is soothing. He’s not quite up for the sipping part yet though. “Where are you going?” His voice is so tired, but he asks all the same, his neediness showing when he’d normally hide it.

“I’m got to get you more soup from Soph. And tea from that speciality place you require I get all your tea from. And honey, surprisingly, from a regular grocery–”

“Make sure it’s local at least,” Baz interrupts.

It only earns him an entirely unamused look, “–Local honey, from a regular grocery. And I’m going to call out again while I’m running errands your errands. I can’t really work with you like this.”

Basil huffs, finally bold enough to take that sip of tea, and he feels it all the way down his oesophagus, spreading out like ripples of heat over his chest, almost painfully. Crowley, he really was bloody weak right now. “You’ll come back soon?”

“As soon as I can, love,” Simon reassures, running her hand through his hair one more time before stepping back from the bed, “Take care of yourself for me, okay? No. Work.”

Simon’s face leaves no room for argument, so Baz just nods. He’s too bloody exhausted to argue much anyway. He figures he can at least finish his tea and maybe throw on something mindless to watch while he waits for his love to return.

Hell, Basil hates being this needy though.

⋆｡˚

At some point he must’ve fallen asleep, because Basil wakes up to a soft hand running over his arm and and a quiet hum. He’d been dreaming something nice, something soft, he just can’t quite grasp it in the moments of waking. He curls in closer to that warmth sitting on the bed, that soft voice of comfort, hands snaking out of the covers to wrap around Simon’s arm, clinging to it.

“Finally up then, babe?” Simon chimes at the contact, but Baz shakes his head, clinging tighter to that arm. “That’s alright. Have you been asleep all that time?”

Baz nods, cracking one eye open to look up at Simon before snapping it back shut. “Think so… everything aches.”

Simon’s spare hand presses coolly against Baz’s overheated forehead and a little displeased sound escapes him. “Well, let’s feed you. It’s been hours and you could use it. Also, Mordelia scoffed when she heard you didn’t have a heating pad and sent over hers with Sophie’s soup, so we can set that up for you after food, yeah?”

“Already so hot…” Baz grumbles, hating the idea of more of the same.

“I know, but we’ve got to do something for those aches, no? We’ll get you meds too, and once things settle down, you can toss it across the room for all I care,” Simon argues, annoyingly logical for her.

“Could do that for Mordy…” Basil huffs, “Send her a text for me? And Soph too…”

“Of course,” Simon agrees all too easily and Baz hums his own soft thanks, curling tighter around that hand. “Should we set you up to eat in here?”

Basil sighs all too loudly and there’s no mistaking the annoyance on his face at the thought, “The bed…”

“You’re so obsessive-compulsive sometimes,” Simon teases lightly, but there’s no fire behind it, only soothing familiarity, “I’ll bring in a chair. You can sit there for eating. I don’t think you could make it to your kitchen like this.”

“It’s only down the hall…”

“Am I wrong then?” Simon challenges Baz’s weak protest, only to be met with a shake of the head. “That’s what I thought. You’ll cooperate then, won’t you?”

“Regrettably,” Baz agrees again, rolling his eyes but fighting to sit himself up and drink the water Simon had side on the bedside table for him.

For all his huffing and puffing, Baz listens terribly well to Simon when it comes to the things he knows his partner knows better than him. Bloody fuck, she was a nurse professionally, of course she’d know how to treat a common cold better than him. The problem was simply that he was more used to taking care of himself and everyone else around him, rather than giving anyone an inch towards helping him.

Fuck.

He might be in love with her. They hadn’t said it yet. Basil’d been so cautious in it, but here Simon was, caring for him in every intimate way no one else had ever bothered to before. Baz was fairly certain this was love. And no, he wasn’t being delusional about that. He should say it soon. He’s going to have to say it soon, he decides, and despite the way his muscles were screaming in protest to his every move and despite the burn in his throat with every effort to work through Sophie’s soup, that decision at least feels good.

That little bit of serotonin pushes him the rest of the way through dinner, and through Simon Snow’s bad (or incredibly good, if technical) commentary on medical dramas. Baz is falling asleep with his head in Simon’s lap just about two episodes in, but with those soft touches over his hair and neck, it was only a matter of time. Simon’s fingers are so terribly tender with him, and they always are, his fingers are always precious with Baz, and there’s something new about that too. Unfamiliar, but in no way unwelcome.

He falls asleep when the third episode of Simon’s drama had only just started, but that was for the best. It was as his love had said, he needed the rest, and there’s no one else he’d rather be resting with.

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

Looking at the wording when it’s brought up that Agatha and Simon got physical, it always picked my attention that it’s both vague as hell and never really defined in terms of “quantity.” “It was just going through the motions” could be the conclusion of a series of experiences or a single experience. “It was always going through the motions” would obviously refer to multiple instances. Same with “I’ve seen this before” vs “I have seen him like this so many times before.” (mild SFC spoilers are below the cut/marked as spoiler because I have SFC related thoughts) (the other things that happened in the story inspire my need not for analysis but for FICS. I’ll EAT those fics)

It occurs to me that this whole thing is treated more like a concept rather than something that’s concrete and defined. The closest it gets to defining the experience is during the hospital scene, where Simon has the instinct to cover himself from Agatha in a protective gesture (already raising alarm bells) while all his instincts are screaming for him to run (this is part of why it boggles my goddamn mind when it’s argued “horny boy was horny” in this case because “sex automatically means just good feelings/sensations” – the very thing the book questions – and boy is boy. look at this shit! my man was about to piss himself!! that’s when it’s first brought up! this shit ain’t right!) and Agatha feels strange. She expresses no desire – she felt responsibility here. On Simon’s side, the closest is that one paragraph that establishes the comparison through structure: he wasn’t in love, he wasn’t turned on. He didn’t want it. “This is what sex looked like for them,” it says there, but beyond that, it feels like it’s very purposely left for the reader to fill in the blanks (the right choice here I’d say). Hell, there might not even be more thought on this beyond what’s on the page. 

I’m unfortunately the kind of reader that can’t leave shit like this alone – if you throw me something that puts me off and makes no sense (at least on the surface) I’m going to find out why. And what I think makes the most sense for them it’s that there might have been some mechanical fooling around here and there. Some curiosity and experimentation while trying to perform “a regular straight teen relationship,” in a way that feels uncomfortable but that would get downplayed (or not thought about ever in Simon’s case, you would never think he has ever done shit by the way he thinks before Baz) And honestly, nothing would be more fitting for those two than never being able to get each other off. (I made the case for Simon getting off for the first time in that scene with Baz, without his magic and all that.)

This is the only way it makes sense when you consider that 1. Simon’s crazy magic is a hell of a thing repressing him. No way he can get off without also going off. Wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t feeling turned on though and/or let his mind wander (dissociation would make feeling shit pretty difficult) 2. No way in hell Simon’s issues with intimacy start with Baz. Sure, there are new things he’s dealing with in WS, he’s re-traumatized in some ways, he has never consciously dealt with sexual desire before and his feelings for Baz are too overwhelming (he has never wanted anyone but Baz, he says). But the  he kind of “issues” that makes dissociation during a sexual situation common are issues Simon already had while dating her. If anything, unwanted experiences with Agatha where he pressured himself to go though would accentuate that. Can’t be a coincidence that Baz and Simon talk about this before they’re able to have sex, or that Simon says it at the very moment Baz is feeling the most vulnerable (while drinking) (Simon’s at his most vulnerable too) (whole thing is about exposing shame). 

As for “going all the way,” I’d say it happened once and I quote @carryonsimoncarryonbaz “during Christmas break 7th year” (we’ve had so many convos sometimes I forget who said what haha). Simon says, as explanation (because he feels the need to explain) “we were together for a long time” – you don’t say that shit if you’re doing it a couple of months into the relationship, because how long you have been together wouldn’t be relevant in that case. 

Why do I say once? First of all, logistics. You gotta remember these people didn’t have an awful lot of free time, even less Simon. His schedule was packed as hell. The argument that it had to have happened at least a couple dozen times or something is wild as hell to me because when the hell are they finding that time? Where would they do it at Watford like, realistically? Gay sex would’ve been easier there! they wouldn’t have the drive or the motivation to work to make it happen in non-ideal places. A simple kiss wouldn’t be leading to shit spontaneously. They don’t see each other during the summer break (when Simon pretends she doesn’t exist). They were left alone at her house sometimes, but not all the goddamn time, and Helen was still there. I could maybe see the argument for “trying going all the way a second time to see if a sucky first time was just first time nerves” or something along those lines, but multiple times? All the way? For two people with no sexual attraction to each other? With barely any time to be alone together? It doesn’t add up. We love fantasy, but I’m not suspending my belief for this shit. 

Another reason (the biggest reason I’m arguing this) is that the vulnerability of sex brings up relationship problems, and those two together were, well. A Problem. It’s one thing to have a series of experiences with unwanted “fooling around” and related but going all the way? Man. This could easily be the thing that seriously pushes them to break apart. A thing that brings up a lot of negative emotions. Agatha wouldn’t be equipped to deal with Simon breaking down, and it would have come to that if it he pushed himself multiple times to go all the way when he didn’t want it (but felt like he had to). 

The “it happened during Christmas 7th year” timeline it’s consistent with Simon remembering Agatha becoming more emotionally detached and irritated after the break, and it has Agatha running after Baz (as in, she has “tried it all” with Simon and it didn’t work, so time to look for a spark elsewhere). This is already telling you that she was reaching her breaking point and getting ready to break up, and it’s also consistent with the negative emotions that going through the motions sex can cause, negative emotions that also manifest in Simon when he talks about it (and outside of his head it’s the only time this gets approached, with Baz present to help him process it; never once alone in his head) Also, it always stood out to me when Agatha is breaking up with Simon, he tries to hold her hand and she jumps away from his contact. Simon brushes it away with “I moved too fast and scared her” but it feels like there’s something deeper going on there. He’s not fucking flash, it’s not... normal to be jumpy like that.

SPOILERS START HERE

In SFC Simon brings up touch. He’s like “I never liked to touch Agatha in front of her parents because I didn’t want to remind them we were stuff together.” Again the vagueness. Obvious assumptions aside (because Simon challenges such assumptions during his conversation with Baz with “sex is not confirmation of attraction” and “is it good that it happened?”). Going to the movies is doing stuff together. Doing stuff together can be “let’s figure out how tongue kissing works.” It can be literally what Agatha describes in awtwb: sitting so close together while watching TV Simon is sweating all over her, while he puts his arm around her. It’s already a thing he wouldn’t be comfortable doing in front of her parents. 

“I wanted her parents to trust me,” Simon dated Agatha in survival mode. Even being together is survival. When he tells her “I love you,” his thinking mirror battle strategies rather than emotions. Here, he shows an awareness of expectations for boys like him. He didn’t want her parents thinking he can’t be trusted to be in their house when they weren’t around because he would be “a horny boy trying to get his way with their daughter” or some shit. He was aware of such expectations, and he performed with Agatha because that’s what he’s supposed to want, isn’t it? This is what happens in relationships, what leads to a future and a family and fitting it. This is what you do if you don’t want to be left behind, isn’t it? But at the same time, he didn’t want these expectations to leave him with nowhere to go. It’s a lot, and he was on alert. 

And with the way it’s phrased, it’s all in Simon’s head. He doesn’t say the parents did shit that cause him to adjust his behavior, it was coming from him. Because he just didn’t like to touch Agatha, period. Not as a boyfriend. He’s not like “I had to restrain myself” in front of her parents, he simply didn’t like it. So he put internal blocks here. Simon’s priority in that paragraph is parental acceptance. It’s getting the adults to trust him. And it makes sense that he expresses it like this, without much examination, because this is only 6 months after awtbw. It took him more than a year after they broke up to process in real time with Baz that he was never into Agatha, it makes sense he hasn’t dedicated any more time to this. And this thought occurred to him because of a situation with parents that triggered it. It also occurs to me: between this and Simon’s initial reaction when Baz asks, it seems like Simon considers "getting physical” with Agatha as something no one has to know, as in, this is something that’s embarrassing or shameful. And Simon is not at all a reserved “i just don’t like PDA” kind of guy – he was rubbing his cock on Baz in a library! A public space! Simon worries about “being gay” outside for a while, but when he’s working through this and they’re finally progressing, Baz notes he seems to get off on public displays of affection! So to dislike being public with Agatha, a straight relationship that is accepted by everyone and their mothers, it’s indicative of just disliking touching Agatha.

In contrast, what holds Simon back from touching Baz is external (a potentially hostile environment, where the parents are visibly “miserable” because of his presence). When Simon and Baz go to have dinner with Baz's parents, it’s the one (1) time Simon truly and fully enters survival mode in their relationship, and he notes “these adults are not going to trust me even if we’re sitting like we’re leaving room for Jesus.” It’s the complete opposite to the situation with Agatha, where Simon wanted parental approval, where she wasn’t the priority at all, and he didn’t like touching her, anyway. Here, Baz is Simon’s priority. Here, Simon has to restrain himself from touching Baz, and it makes him miserable, even though it’s only been a couple of hours at most. Here, Baz touch is linked to sustenance (breakfast). Touching Baz is as vital to Simon as eating. It makes him giddy. Not touching him it’s like torture. We get none of that “I don’t like PDA in front of parents/other people” he touches him and calls him babe in front of everyone with God As His Witness. He has 0 issues here. He doesn’t give a fuck. 

And his horny reactions to Baz helping him with his clothes is worlds apart from how uncomfortable he was with even the idea sex in CO or even in part of WS in his head, when he’s telling you Baz is the only person he has ever wanted “like this.” (Simon can’t even think the word sex, it’s memory Baz who says it.) If you consider Simon’s expertize with undoing Baz’s tie here, and the way Simon was regularly jumping Baz and thinking about his cock around him in awtwb, it all paints the picture of a Simon who has become “sexually liberated” in a way he never has before. He’s having sex regularly with his boyfriend and you bet your ass he fucking wants it. You bet he’s prioritizing it and making the time for it. Godbless.  

[tadpolesonalgae]

"Breath after breath, one foot in front of the other. No footsteps to follow after.

Pushing forward on your own. Seeking what you want.

Gold and pearl hanging heavy from your lobes.

Too heavy."

YAYYY. But how is girlie going to pay for whatever she gets from that stall? 😭

(Oh also one point i wanted to bring up was, shouldn't the reader be getting a sum of money from rhys? Like idk but it was mentioned how they would give money to the archeon sisters monthly for their expenses or something like that)

So happy she's having self realizations 👯👯

Nah but eris, so secretive 🥴 the book that he gave reader and now this box..hmmm the reader really needs to just sit down one day and search what was hidden in the book.

Ughh this chapterr has to be my new favorite!! So good, so many new speculations ugh., honestly in that corridor I thought we'd see azriel because the fortnight ended right? Ooo also yknow what would be fun is when readers one week of staying at baz's house we see an az pov of like going to his house or something!

HEHEH I'm giggle throughout this chapter I lovee <33

Also i don't think id be changing my emoji, I like this happy accident 😋

Thank you for your yummy writing (girl dinner? on monday though, the rhys fic is going to be my girl FEAST💀)

Take care! Drink kots of waterrr<33🧍

‘YAYYY. But how is girlie going to pay for whatever she gets from that stall? 😭’

I think some people might be split on how she chooses to pay 😶

‘(Oh also one point i wanted to bring up was, shouldn't the reader be getting a sum of money from rhys? Like idk but it was mentioned how they would give money to the archeon sisters monthly for their expenses or something like that)’

So I don’t actually remember this but I’m pretty sure you’re right? I feel like now you’ve mentioned it, that it did happen but I’d completely forgotten it was actually stated in the books that they are set up to be taken care of in those initial weeks after going into the cauldron?

Either way, after having been living in pretty severe poverty for so long, reader I think quite simply forgets you can get things because you want them? If she doesn’t need it she won’t get it, hence almost all of her books being from the library where they’re just borrowed :)

‘So happy she's having self realizations 👯👯’

Kind of sad it took her being faced with death for her to realise she does want to live, but hey, baby steps right? Hopefully she’ll keep it up and won’t fall flat, right? 👀

‘Nah but eris, so secretive 🥴 the book that he gave reader and now this box..hmmm the reader really needs to just sit down one day and search what was hidden in the book.’

He’s such an asshole 🤦 but yes, very strange 🤔

The box is going to come up in the next chapter, scarily 😕 (my shivers are timbered at the thought of progression)

‘Ughh this chapterr has to be my new favorite!! So good, so many new speculations ugh.,’

I’m so happy you liked it!! I thought it would be nice to give her a moment to breathe (ignoring all the pain her magic causes) and get away from Velaris for a little to see some more of the world she’s now part of :)

‘Ooo also yknow what would be fun is when readers one week of staying at baz's house we see an az pov of like going to his house or something!’

I hope it’ll be interesting to see what Bas does, whether he will actually lie to keep her secret, or whether he’ll feel it’s his duty to at least show his respect for the people who’ve kept Velaris safe by not lying to their faces 🤷

Also what Az’ll do once he inevitably figures she’s not there 😬

‘Thank you for your yummy writing (girl dinner? on monday though, the rhys fic is going to be my girl FEAST💀)’

You’re welcome! I’m really so happy you enjoyed reading it even though it’s been a while since the last chapter!! 🧡💛

I’m still scared for the Rhys thing because now I feel like I’ve talked about it too much, and I don’t want to give anyone high expectations and then disappoint 😭

Pls go into it expecting it to be absolutely awful so it’ll be okay 🫣😭 ‘Expect the worst and you’ll never be disappointed’ and all that 🫡😶‍🌫️🧡💛

[martsonmars]

Hi dears! Thanks @hushed-chorus for the tag today <3

Writing is still being a bitch but I cannot be defeated, so I started a new WIP. Here are 6 out of context snippets for your eyes:

Simon had forgotten that kids can be so tiny and yet stare at you like they're overanalysing every hidden fold of your soul better than a professional could do in ten years of therapy. (Ask Simon about it.)

“Mum, Mum, I found a non-boy boy!”

“Actually, I go by Pippa now.” / “Pippa.” Baz smiles. “It suits you.”

“You shouldn't have done that.” Pretty Boy pushes his glasses up his too-long nose and frowns, looking up at Simon from where he's crouching next to contents of his bag. His nails are painted a dark red today, like the little stains on Simon's knuckles.

“If we don't throw the first punch, they'll be the ones to kill us.” / “Us?” / Simon shrugs. Maybe he should get a rainbow wristband that matches Pretty Boy's.

“Why are we throwing a party? A man died.” / “A man who thought he'd die in his 30s lived to 83. He wanted us to celebrate it.”

Tags under the cut, love you all!

@wellbelesbian @sillyunicorn @facewithoutheart @palimpsessed @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @johnwgrey @fatalfangirl @confused-bi-queer @bookish-bogwitch @letraspal @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @bazzybelle @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ivelovedhimthroughworse @artsyunderstudy @orange-peony @ic3-que3n @whogaveyoupermission @larkral @shrekgogurt @raenestee @onepintobean @stitchyqueer @technetiumai @brilla-brilla-estrellita @thewholelemon @theimpossibledemon @j-nipper-95 @imagineacoolusername @sosoapi @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @whatevertheweather @dragoneggos @takitalks @gekkoinapeartree @basiltonbutliketheherb @ionlydrinkhotwater @yellobb @erzbethluna @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @theearlgreymage @jbrrring @shemakesmeforget @captain-aralias @nightimedreamersworld @angelsfalling16 @tea-brigade

[cutestkilla]

HOPPY SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY (SORRY I HAD TO – and Hoppy Easter too, if you celebrate)! Things certainly are hopping here today! Thanks for the tags @hushed-chorus @stitchyqueer @larkral @martsonmars @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @facewithoutheart @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @prettygoododds @fatalfangirl. I’m loving seeing everyone’s WIPs springing to life today like the crocuses in my garden.

I’m continuing to reacquaint myself with my 8th Year Wedding WIP, reading through the many many words I already have to get back in the flow before I move forward with my new and improved outline. No new words written since Wednesday, but here, have some more old ones that I think are all right. Baz POV:

“You’re welcome,” Father mouthed at me from across the room. Even at a distance I could practically feel the self-satisfaction rolling off him. I shook my head ever so slightly in protest, and he volleyed back with his patented don’t-you-dare-humiliate-me-Basilton stare. (Practically a screaming match by Grimm standards.)

So, I did what I always do. I immediately gave in.

And now, several awkward minutes of hand holding and forced conversation later, I find myself waltzing to Kiss From a Rose. As if the idea of kissing an English rose wasn’t repugnant enough – I prefer thorns, obviously – Nessa has somehow managed to make it even more distasteful.

Seal can keep the kiss. A greying tower alone on the sea, however, sounds pretty damn appealing about now.

Tags under the cut!

@creepyspice @artsyunderstudy @bookish-bogwitch @ivelovedhimthroughworse @whatevertheweather @captain-aralias @technetiumai @moodandmist @angelsfalling16 @confused-bi-queer @forabeatofadrum @letraspals @ileadacharmedlife @aristocratic-otter @palimpsessed @messofthejess @nightimedreamersworld @shemakesmeforget @whogaveyoupermission @thewholelemon @raenestee @asticou @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @shrekgogurt @ic3-que3n @onepintobean @alleycat0306 @valeffelees @blackberrysummerblog @imagineacoolusername