#and that is got changed in the script for reasons >:[
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Watch Dichen Lachman's never-before-seen Severance audition as a wildly different Ms. Casey
You've never seen Ms. Casey like this before.
When Lumon's soft-spoken wellness counselor — played by Dichen Lachman — first appeared on Severance in season 1, she was simultaneously soothing and eerie as she delivered random pieces of information to severed employees about their Outies. She was calm, graceful, but concerningly innocent, and it was clear there was much more to her story. The season 1 finale finally confirmed that theory when it was revealed that Ms. Casey is actually Gemma, the presumed-dead wife of Mark (Adam Scott), shockingly alive but trapped inside Lumon for reasons that are still unclear after season 2.
But Ms. Casey wasn't always a serene, impassive employee. Entertainment Weekly has an exclusive look at Lachman's original audition for Severance in which she played a very different version of the character, as much more aggressive, direct, and fierce during her wellness session with Irving (John Turturro).
"This video shows my very first audition," Lachman tells EW. "As you can imagine, the secrets of Ms. Casey and Gemma at this point were closely guarded, so I had very little context for the characters when I began reading."
Lachman worked closely with the show’s casting director, Rachel Tenner, during the audition to figure out how to portray this mysterious character.
"Rachel was so helpful and so generous with her time, talking me through as much as she could, so I’d be able to find even the tiniest window into the world and approximate what this character might sound like," Lachman says.
Tenner says she had been given scripts in advance, so she knew more about the story than others during the audition process. That said, casting Ms. Casey was "really difficult."
"We were trying to navigate this odd, complicated character without giving away too much of the story that was about to unfold," the casting director tells EW. "When I saw Dichen audition, it was undeniable that she had exactly what we needed. She had beauty, mystery, complexity, and her instincts were on point from the very beginning. She felt different from everyone else and tonally was a wonderful match."
It wasn't until Lachman landed the role that she finally started to understand who Ms. Casey was.
"Once I got the job, I finally read all of the scripts and had conversations with [creator] Dan [Erickson]," Lachman says. "And that’s when everything began to change for me in terms of where Ms. Casey, and by extension Gemma, was coming from internally."
It took a long time and a lot of work, but Lachman ultimately found the final version of the character when it was time to begin filming.
"Ms. Casey’s voice especially started to take shape once we got on set," Lachman says. "It’s not Gemma's voice, but there are aspects of her that had to trickle through Ms. Casey. [Executive producer] Ben [Stiller] was key to dialing into what was needed in terms of tone. John Turturro was an incredible first scene partner, and after that day, I think we all knew how she would fit into the world of Lumon."
Watching Lachman make Ms. Casey (and Gemma!) her own throughout filming the first two seasons has impressed the casting director, especially knowing where it all started in the audition process.
"I loved watching how much warmth, vulnerability, and naiveté Dichen brought to Ms. Casey over the course of filming," Tenner says. "I think in her initial read, she was much more austere and almost practical in her efficiency, but she ultimately brought something truly unique and open and lovely to the role. I loved watching the cast react to this strange bird in their midst."
It all culminated in the explosive season 2 finale, in which Mark finally reunited with Gemma (and, for a moment, Ms. Casey, while they made their way through the severed floor) but refused to leave Lumon with her. Lachman recalls the episode's intense ending as some of the most difficult scenes she's ever filmed.
"The entire final sequence — from Mark extracting Gemma from the Cold Harbor room, to their presumed escape from Lumon, to those excruciating moments at the hallway door — is one of the most technically and emotionally challenging things I’ve ever had to execute in front of a camera," Lachman says. "The pressure of nailing something like that can be daunting for any actor, but with a scene partner like Adam and a director like Ben, I felt truly empowered and prepared to seize this enormous moment, and this life-changing character."
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✨ Your reality is 100% YOURS. ✨

Hey babes 🫶
👉 You can literally change any person or any situation in your reality. period. 👈
I know people love to throw around that whole “you can’t change a man,” “just let it go,” “it’s not meant for you,” blah blah blah — but all of that? yeah. It’s just someone else’s limiting belief system that you accidentally internalized. None of that is law. It’s just noise.
You don’t have to “let it go” if you don’t want to. You don’t have to walk away if you don’t feel like it. And no, it’s not toxic or desperate to want to change something. What’s toxic is telling people they’re powerless when they’re not.
So, if you want to change a person? cool. If you want to change a situation? amazing. If you want to walk away because it feels better for YOU? also valid. But just know that the only reason you can’t change someone is if you decide you can’t. That’s it.
And babes... can we talk about the self-concept rabbit hole for a sec?
People really out here thinking they need to become hot af, flawless, magnetic, glow-up royalty just to manifest a person to love them or money to flow in. No. like, pls stop making it complicated.
You don’t need to affirm “I’m a goddess” on repeat until your voice breaks just to get your SP to treat you right. You don’t need to morph into some aesthetic Pinterest queen to make $10k a month. (unless you want to for fun, then go off 🧚♀️✨)
What do you need? ✅ to change your assumption. ✅ to shift your concept of that person or situation. ✅ to STOP giving the 3D your power.
Neville said it best:
“To change a man, you must change your conception of him.”
He didn’t say “go to therapy for 6 years,” or “repeat ‘I am amazing’ 600 times while crying.” He said: Change your assumption. That’s it.
So let me hit you with a real example:
You’ve got a guy who’s a total player. Everyone says it. he’s never committed. He ghosts. you name it.
But one girl comes along and says, “No. He’s actually really loving and loyal. He’s emotionally available. He’s ready to settle down — with me.”
And guess what? Suddenly, he’s in a happy, committed relationship with her.
Was she prettier? no. Did she have some magical script? no. She just had a different conception of him. That’s literally it.
Same goes for money, career, friendships, and health. Your assumption decides how things show up.
Stop wasting time feeding old assumptions with inner conversations like:
“They’re probably ignoring me again.”
“They never commit.”
“It’s too hard to make that much money.”
Like… why are you affirming THAT when you could literally be saying:
“They’re obsessed with me.”
“They’re already acting how I want them to.”
“Money flows to me so easily it’s ridiculous.”
You already KNOW this works. You've seen success stories. hell, you've probably had one yourself. So, stop giving attention to the old story just because the 3D looks a certain way.
👑 You are the god of your reality. act like it.
#law of assumption#loa blog#loassumption#neville goddard#affirm and persist#affirmations#loa tumblr#loablr#manifestation#manifesting#sammy ingram
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Do you think there’s any connection between Heolstor and the “Lord of Night” tbh at the Eternal Citiess were trying to create?
So far I definitely think so! My last notable moment in Nightreign was that I've found a Larval Tear in the Eternal City as Wylder, when there was an implication that he got an idea to become a new Nightlord to save Duchess from getting nuked together with the Roundtable! Pretty sure I've unlocked some secret ending with that, but the fact that Nox' practice is involved in the very act convinces me!
I would of course like to get all pieces of the puzzle, but so far seems like the Lord of Night is a status that you can be born/created into (there is an implication that Recluse has an infant like that that I am yet to see with my own eyes because I suck at playing as her) or be REborn into (like how Heolstor was raised from the dead and is no longer the person he used to be, or whatever Wylder is going to do). Which is fair, because one can't be chosen by the Two Fingers, simply because Lord of Night appears to be antagonistic force to Two Fingers, and perhaps even the Greater Will itself!
(Sorry I had screenshots but I forgot to copy them) I did point this out in this ( x ) post already, but to repeat: in the original Japanese script, Ranni swears that the Night is "now infinitely far away", rather than it is coming now.
A back-and-forth with localisations or not, but I believe that notion, because so far I can see it confirmed with my own eyes: Ranni removes the Elden Ring very far away from anyone's reach, so no one can use it to tamper with fates and laws of nature and instead people return their "true" fates written in the stars, whereas Heolstor claims and corrupts the Elden Ring! I wonder whether Ranni convinced the Black Knives to help her with the promise to bring the "Night", but turned out her actual plan was to simply not let anyone have the power to bring it, and the reason Black Knives attacked Blaidd and Iji was actually because they've learned they got scammed XD
Before Nightreign launched, I thought that maybe Lord of Night was supposed to take turns with whoever currently claims it for the Gold/Sun/Light, similarly to how Lord of Dark was supposed to take turns with Lord of Light in the Dark Souls trilogy (before Gwyn ruined the course of nature)! Now that "artificial" nature of the Nightlord feels more apparent, I think it were instead Nox who at least attempted to change the course of nature!
The initial Greater Will's plan was to create life, and have Elden Ring/Beast as a tool of changing nature by whoever the Two Fingers choose. Marika is not called 'Eternal' for no reason, of course; she attempted to become the one and final owner of the Elden Ring, destroying any risks of her Erdtree era ever falling (more notably Gloam-Eyed Queen, Fire Giants or Nomads that allegedly worshipped Frenzied Flame). Although the Two Fingers chose other Empyreans, it doesn't seem like Marika never letting anyone else rule wasn't strictly against their ideas; she was still doing her job as an Empyrean/God! However, changing owners of Elden Ring or not, but Nox were the ones who considered themselves worthy of the same power as Two Fingers! The fall of their civilisation happened long before Marika ascended it seems, I think they were roughly contemporary with Rauh? But in a way, they wished to kill God and take its place and its power, and Lord of Night was their equivalent of choosing an Empyrean! It is the story of hubris! Or, perhaps, an actually heroic rebellion?


(@sahashbelvanie sorry I took your images from the post ( x )) Heolstor seemed like a very good candidate for the Lord of Night, being naturally antagonistic to the Erdtree and Golden Order already. He is being held back by the golden runes, albeit in vain! Apparition of the gone Erdtree is the last power to stand against the Night. Meanwhile, Heolstor's people were wiped out by Godfrey, and even in the base Elden Ring his sorrow causes endless rains ( x ).
Now, I really don't think that some Nox girl basically dug him out of the pile of corpses and appointed him fdshfhds What I do think happened, is that in Nightreign, somewhere roughly past the events of the Shattering, Nox kept working underground and succeeded at creating the essence of the 'Night' itself! And this essence is "homed" to find a worthy vessel for the anti-GW ideals Nox put it on! Someone that despised Erdtree and Golden Order, the latest iterations of the Elden Ring's power, worked well to worm its way into.
Again: an actual antagonist of the Greater Will is Frenzied Flame, but the Night is antagonistic in terms of authority! So, no Outer Gods and not Two Fingers but men would choose the course of nature and the person to rule it, and they would never be forced in the "caged divinity" like Marika or others! 'Stars' were a decent compromise, because true fates of humans are aligned in the stars and it was better than Greater Will, and then Two Fingers, basically appointing the guy to make fates of humans. Nightlord is what Nox believed was a way to fix things that seemed unfair, and maybe they were even right?
#elden ring#the nox#elden ring nightreign#heolstor the nightlord#heolstor#ask replies#elden ring theory#nightreign theory#nightreign reference#elden ring reference
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my take on the DP trio
can u tell i have fun drawing clothes
#everlasting trio#my art#danny phantom#dp art#tucker foley#sam manson#do not use for ai#I am convinced Tuckers beret is a durag#and that is got changed in the script for reasons >:[#but that's just a conspiracy theory
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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i like lucas 😌 and so do the orphans pretending that the orphanage wasnt getting torn the fuck up at the very end
pretending that there was any story left after lucas woke up in the hospital bed. im sorry for making cute headcanons about stupid movies. it will happen again
#lucas reyes#isha malik#josh hartnett#charithra chandran#fight or flight 2025#fight or flight#fight or flight movie#my art#yes that was an orphanage he woke up in at the end#at least according to the original script#ik ive been saying a lot of stuff makes lucas endearing to me but him having such a connection with kids is soooo huge to me#from the little kid trying to steal his money to his change of heart after finding out the real reason why theyre after ghost#i think kids love him and think hes so cool (see: kids drawing pic and the little guy with hair not unlike lucases showing him his drawing)#even if lucas himself isnt really a fan of kids#lucas has a really stupidly strong set of morals ❤️ brunt you shouldve known you werent getting ghost back w No.1 Woman Respector over here#being nice to kids and letting them use you like a jungle gym (after hes healed a bit) is just basic human kindness…#also idk if u can tell: i like drawing in childrens style. its kind of like my normal style💀😓#i got so caught up in the orphanage stuff that i forgot i drew a thirst trap of him here my bad#and the whale tail drawing my bad
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i dont remember if i ever shared that polaroid/compliant is conductor but yea here you go
spoilery concept stuff but i dont careeeeeeeeeee
#madness combat employers#i already have scripts so maybe i'll work on some of them#im obsessed with employers for no reason whatsoever at the moment#aahw and employers invading my mind#its over#idk idk i feel like if an employer is sick their colour will change but the colour will be related???#so conductor is blue but idk i was thinking he got jaundice-like illness so it mixes with his blue to be toxic radiation dumpster green LOL#and aura i think they can just change it for their own personal preference#or identity change#i gotta stfu im ruining everything#🌚🌝
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Anyways, to those who have been wondering what we've been doing during our impromptu Tumblr Vacation or whatever we're calling it, we've been trying to find a playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3 that is made by someone who doesn't annoy the shit out of us, and also tormenting Karlach Cliffgate (as you do)
#we speak#also sleeping. we have slept a lot. being in a school environment is exhausting.#its very hard to remember how much we generally enjoy learning when the environment itself is. that#but on the plus side our shittiest possible 40-minute 1k word essay with eight trillion loose lines we Could have connected#was apparently impressive enough that the people who were meant to be assessing it for If We Could Take The Course#as a preliminary instead just forwarded it as a formal application and it got through#we know we are better at writing and deconstructing that writing than most. however.#christ man there were like a dozen cracks in that essay reasoning and a trillion threads we left dangling#we know that directing you to see what the narrative is focusing on and nothing else is a skill we're good at#but like. this is like if we just shucked a pelt off with no processing and showed it to you. its not even scraped yet.#there are little bits of metaphorical fat and gristle all over the underside of this. you can feel them when picking it up.#we lost the plot of the original prompt halfway through to argue about anthrocentrism. it's messy work.#like its decent prose and if we polished it a bit it could probably be decent within the constraints but it's a 40 minute prompt and sloppy#we tabbed out of the test tab and started writing pokemon fanfiction instead of polishing it. and you think it's impressive?#we know we've spent like more than ten years writing and have read a lot even before that we just forget people have such low standards#...god hopefully this doesnt read as bragging. we are having the experience of like#we get out of the most physically and mentally fatiguing experience we've had for like Years after doing the Bare Minimum to not die#we have been outputting work that is sloppy and we are fully aware of it because we are too tired to put full effort into schoolwork#and we are still getting like. “oh wow this is so good youre so good at making things”#like man. we can do better than this. teacher was like “wow youd be a great script writer” we are good at dialogue but better at descriptio#and we weight. a lot of our capacity for dialogue. in our ability to have cues human people do not have. this will not work well on-screen#also that industry is one of the Many Many Industries that are super mega fucked up rn#and we do not work well with constantly changing expectations#we hope this is a fun glimpse into our current life btw we are finally on break and god. this is great. we can sleep now.
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Yuri's dialogue (JP) is so fascinating to study, like... the repetitive use of certain words/phrases that others use sparingly but he uses constantly. the way it feels like his vocabulary is more expansive than what he uses, but he defaults to a "comfort" level of speech. the way it mixes in with his sort of "street talk" words and the sheer level of informality. the way his "street talk" phrasing is contrasted by the tone of his voice (on that note, people I know who also know JP are also very endeared by these aspects of him so I KNOW IT'S NOT JUST ME!!!).
'cause the thing is, he uses phrases that yeah, other people do use, but he uses a handful over and over and over (contrast to other characters' sparing use of repetition). it's actually... really refreshing? it sounds more relatable and less "video game/anime/JRPG/RPG" writing or something, idk. like closer to how a real person would speak.
I do my best in my translations not to make things sound too stiff across the board, but Yuri makes it so easy. it's why I'm so interested in translating all his lines in Vesperia, like... the actual, original tone for him with his original wording because it's smth Eng only players don't get to experience ('cause even if you listen with JP audio, if you don't know the language, ofc you're gonna miss out on context. it's nobody's fault for not knowing, just... they unfortunately miss out). the thing is, there are a lot of times when the lines in and of themselves are not contextually incorrect in the English ver (usually the situation for smaller scenes, because they altered the text outright for more important stuff which was the stuff that originally set me off, but there were also plenty of cases of just vocal tone shifting with the correct context that still gave off the wrong impression), but Yuri's tone is shifted away from the original in Eng even though it's completely and perfectly translatable.
I am by no means about to translate the entire game because let's face it, I really don't care that much for Vesperia on the whole. I'm kinda stuck with it because Yuri's there lo and behold I actually am WAY more engaged in his stories in Rays, Link and Asteria because it's an amazing character put into circumstances where he actually gets to shine and feels more alive, which Vesperia did not provide nearly as well with its very disjointed story. also, Tales gachas have banger stories that are arguably better than the mainline games, and they regularly make Yuri a very central character to the gachas. Crestoria was also about to do it until they pulled the plug on that game and I'm pretty confident something interesting has been lost to the world. also I just generally don't have the energy or motivation to do that, so... I'll only be focusing on Yuri's lines, especially because his stuff is where the bulk of the messing around was. he's just insanely fun to translate for and I love burying myself head first into his speech.
will I actually finish this project? dunno. will I get around to posting it? whatever I get done (so all of it if I complete it), and if I decide to call it quits then I'll post what I have at the time I decide that. will it take a long time? probably, but I can always mention stuff along the way...
#GTF Vesperia Things#GTF Yuri Things#also the more I comb the script the more I properly notice all the uh... very awkward loc changes in smaller sentences in smaller scenes#like things that change the understanding of a sentence. or in Yuri's case just... the usual annoying personality shifting#noticing lots more stuff than when I did those big posts bc I was less focused on the tiny stuff/not side by side comparing#like a lot of this stuff is plot irrelevant and I knew it was littered around but I'm just getting#a bit more of a proper feel for it and how often it's there while studying Yuri's speech under a microscope bc I like observing him fkjhsjg#the fact that they're extremely largely consistent in tampering with Yuri's verbal (not just vocal) tone still has me LIKE.#but I'm fighting to ignore it so I can study my precious boy for reasons unknown beyond hyperfixation#also with Link I was actually mad at first bc they totally dropped the ball on Yuri's repetitive speech in arc 1. like it just wasn't there#there were plenty of times I noticed that normally he'd be SAYING those phrases but it just didn't happen where it should've#(like ''he'd def have said that here but it's not here'') Rays' main writer was not Vesperia's and she STILL got him down PERFECTLY#frankly I'd argue Rays' writing of Yuri is more correctly Yuri than Vesperia Yuri is which is oddly hilarious LOL#but mainly more that arc 2 Yuri is fucking WONKY sometimes but god knows most of my friends who know JP don't like that writer for#various reasons. somehow he pulled out that banger of a novel but arc 2 forget it. but yeah Rays just... really encapsulated YURI himself#the dialogue for him is spot on. not that Link and Asteria flunked with him bc they didn't#it's just that I think Rays and Miyajima gave the best quality of him bc the circumstances let him be more expressive#that said back to Link arc 2 did actually fix the speech issue so I don't know if they had different writers between arcs or just#realized they forgot to include those points of his character in arc 1 bc I know it wasn't the Link loc's fault#bc Yuri had full JP audio and I could hear that they just didn't have those things#but LORD the ACTUAL RELIEF that flooded me when arc 2 brought that shit back LMAOOOO#but yeah as far as Yuri goes he's absolutely fascinating and unique and he shines so bright in the gachas#it makes me really really sad that his home game is one I don't have much interest in#and that it's one that a lot of ppl feel the writing was wonky for (bc it was)#but I'm eternally grateful the gachas gave him opportunities to really shine as a character in great settings#bc it's not that he doesn't shine in Vesp itself. it's that the circumstances don't rly... allow him to be like PROPERLY unrestrained ig?#idk it's hard to explain. just. he was more. WHOOSH. I guess. in the gachas. yeah. like that. or smth. :')#sorta like. amazing character but not the best circumstances for him to show his true potential which I think he does in the gachas#bc the gachas have such great stories and scenarios and he's put into them#ANYWAY TL;DR YURI'S SPEECH IS FASCINATING AND I LOVE HIM
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I’m finally watching the idol and the treatment of the onscreen intimacy coordinator is disgusting. Like it’s supposed to be this feminist moment of Jocelyn wanting to show her whole boob and being like ‘it’s my body, my choice’ when he is literally just trying to stick to what she is legally allowed to show on camera because of the legal documentation they drafted and signed for this specific purpose. Them completely ignoring and then locking up the intimacy coordinator just to ignore the law and the directors and writers thinking that moment would be seen as ‘empowering’ and shit is telling of the people who worked on it. Especially Sam Levinson, who created Euphoria, who had multiple actors ask him to cut back on the nudity and sex scenes and there were still so many in the show.
#the Idol#sam levinson#euphoria#im mostly blaming the writers and sam for the complete shit show#but also The Weeknd who is reportedly the reason so much of the original idea got scrapped and replaced with this shit#Any actors who were already signed on and didn’t really have any say over script and stuff being changed is NOT to be blamed#I especially don’t blame Lily Rose Depp cause she thought she was gonna be making fun of this kind of treatment towards women#and now they’re just playing into the mistreatment of women#saying it’s fine and feminist to completely disregard all legal paperwork regarding nudity and sex scenes
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obsessed w the choice to have reinhard & hilda hook up for the first time in the context of. reinhard is having a breakdown over his guilt at the death of his boy best friend like. very heterosexual of him, I'm sure
#also like. it is so funny to me that people ship this as like. them being In Love and fluffy etc etc like. the vibes are extremely Not That#they fuck bc he's having a breakdown. she leaves before he wakes up and looks terrified when he comes to see her#he gave her a military position and wanted to make her prime minister and every time she correctly disagrees with him he hates her for it#she's the closest thing he has to a friend but he can't forgive her for not being kircheis so he marries her instead#he brings flowers bc it's what mittermeyer did bc he's following a script bc he doesn't know how to do any of this#(this being. heterosexuality. having any kind of normal relationships with people. functioning in society)#she canonically doesn't feel like she understands how to be a woman#oh my god are they the 'he's gay she's a lesbian their marriage will change your perception of love' couple#wait no also. his reason for proposing. jesus christ his entire concept of gender & relationships is So shaped by what happened to annerose#he feels obligated to marry her now but also. as if marrying her isn't just another way of trapping her into that kind of role#like she's can't be ur official military advisor or ur prime minister. she has to be Your Wife. and i cannot see her being happy w that#like it would get her what she wants (advancement for her family) but oh my god at what cost#sorry these tags are just. my running commentary of the ep now anyway losing it at reinhard saying “can kircheis forgive me for marrying”#ok i was gonna make fun of him being like “he never got to marry before he died :/” like. i really don't think that was a priority for him#but i do also think given the opportunity he would've married annerose. mediated desire and all that#dreaming.txt#e watches logh
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#wanna make a youtube video but i dont like filming when people are home#thin walls and all that#so i think i will write a blog post instead#both book reviews for the same book#but if i write a blog post first maybe my youtube video will be more cohesive bc ill already have written my thoughts out#and people do script videos i just tend to start filming and hope i find what i wanna say#isnt the most polished process haha#so we’ll see how this goes#gonna make myself a coffee#i do think i write more coherently than speaking lol#but it is an interesting experiment to film videoes on my phone since that isnt my most comfortable form of expression#for a couple of reasons#i could also film my video outside but that takes effortt in finding the right way to set up my phone bc i dont have a tripod#my desk inside is easy to set my phone on my phon#phone stand on some books but outside takes#some different kind of effort#alas#and i have a meeting tonight in a couple of hrs#i got a ride again from the same person who gave me a ride last time#the meetings are biweekly#look up young democracts of america if thats something ur interested in and see if they have local chapters in ur area#free to join and the people ive met have been really nice#and its cool bc its an in person community#when most of my communities are online lol#it’s a nice change#and then to be a part of something with people who want to make a difference in the way or similar ways in the way u want to#just being with people w similar values is always just a nice thing#i think u have to be under 40 to be a young dem#but there are also orgs that are just dems of whatever city#30s is still considered young lol
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comprehensive list of reasons bobby could be alive
he has magic blood (see: season 1)
he dressed up as dracula, a vampire for the s8 halloween episode. ya know, a very famously undead character
the funeral was quite literally livestreamed on tiktok for HOURS because they had shut down a busy street in the middle dtla and yet tim was "crossing fingers that it wouldnt get leaked"??? after the buddie rain hug got leaked already this season???
bobby "died" on good friday (or the day before for the americans) and with religion being a super important part to bobbys character...
we met bobbys mother in an episode called "holy mother of god" clearly referring to his mother. the mother of god was mary. marys (ann) son (bobby) rose from the dead
chimney taking the rat home after it was infected and healed by the same virus that "killed" bobby
said virus has only a 30% mortality rate (according to the episode) and moira only sped up the incubation time of the virus, not the strength
we didnt see his body
the script leak from both oliver and jlh with bobby saying "im being buried alive" was the same day the cast and crew were filming at a graveyard
the silly cast photos in front of bobbys casket
the name on the turnout coat under the casket on the back of the truck changed from giarusso to nash during the procession livestream
NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN, ILL CRAWL HOME TO HER
buck never got to say "i love you" back to bobby
eddie wasnt there
we are 8 seasons in and there hasnt been any mcd before now
the casts reactions to bobby/peters departure, especially compared to when calum left after a couple of episodes
mans has already survived so much and we are expected to believe that a virus took him out???
fujo!bobby hasnt gotten to watch his ship (his son and said sons best friend) get married yet
it was supposed to be ravi??? but then it changed???
"you cant kill off captain banner. hes what keeps 119 fire family together" and then banner literally coming back to life by a doctor played by chimney (who was also infected with the virus but ultimately survived after getting the antidote)
he hasnt finished building his and athenas house for them to live in
the shot of bobbys helmet on the ground mirroring bucks during the lightning strike
peter being on set for filming eps 16-18
NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN
ILL CRAWL HOME TO HER
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Part Four
Can't stop thinking about reader losing her cool.
"So we're closed, John." You said, trying to be cordial.
"Is that all you have to fucking say?" He practically growled before huffing. A humorless chuckle rumbling out of his chest. "I suppose not since you won't respond to any of us."
"Don't do that." You said taking a step back. Trying to create some distance between you and him. John would never physically hurt you. That much you knew.
"What?" He asked. His voice rising as he stepped closer to you. "Be angry that you pulled that shit and then left? Stopped talking to us. Changed your fucking locks. Last thing we even knew about you was that you got on a fucking plane and left. Even your friends wouldn't tell us anything besides that you were okay." "Which considering this came out of bloody nowhere, I find it highly unlikely that you are in any way 'okay'."
You took a deep breath. You wouldn't be intimidated. You wouldn't clam up. You wouldn't cry. You won't go back on your decision. You will be cordial and polite and not unleash everything you want to.
"I understand you might be upset, but it's for the best. It wasn't working out and I wanted to end on somewhat good terms. I would appreciate it if you lowered your voice and stopped speaking to me in that way." You could barely recognize your voice. It sounded so scripted. So robotic. But it was something you had been telling yourself. Excuses you had been telling yourself.
Because if you told yourself the truth. The picture you would paint would tell a different story. It wouldn't highlight the fact that John spoke to you like he was one of your men or that Johnny had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. It wouldn't show what a flake Kyle was or that Simon was well and truly a mean-spirited person.
It would show how you weren't worth it. Four possible men. Four possibilities of happily ever after and none of them chose you. That no one ever did and no one ever would. You weren't worth it. You weren't loveable.
It wasn't right, but it was what the voices had been telling you late in the night. When you would crawl into your cold bed. The silence of the room not filled with John's steady breathing or the sound of Kyle's heartbeat as you laid you head on his chest. The absence of Johnny's occasional snoring or whatever Simon was watching playing in the background of your dreams.
In the void, all your dark thoughts came back at you.
"Upset?" He asked, his voice still louder than you would have liked. "An understatement considering the stunt you pulled."
"You think it was a stunt?"
"So Johnny thought with his dick and didn't plan things out. You should have told him instead of crying to Simon and then pulling this shit." "Christ, I knew you were still young, but I didn't take you for that immature."
"You know what?" "I'm done." "I am so fucking sick of making excuses for you all." "You want to act like I'm the immature one, John?" "You are 35-year-old man who cannot separate his work from his work like. You have continuously talked to and down to me like I am one of your men, only to turn around and always blame your shitty fucking attitude on work. I get that your job is stressful, but I did not sign up to be your verbal fucking punching bag."
"And this come and fucking go incident with Johnny. It has been a consistent issue with him coming over just to fuck. I've asked him for that last six months that 'hey, we've been seeing each other for a year and a half, I would love to meet your family' and suddenly the dates stop. He doesn't ask to see me until after 7 PM. He brings food occasionally, fucks me and leaves. Sometimes before I even wake up."
"And the only reason Kyle is the person I am the least pissed off with is because I haven't even seen him." You took a step closer, not noticing how the anger in John's eyes had softened. "I have not seen Kyle in weeks, to no fault of my own. I stopped reaching out to make dinner plans after the third time he canceled on a date night when I was either on my way or already at the restaurant."
"And Simon?" You scoffed. "Well, it doesn't really matter. After all, as he said I get mine. You all make me cum which is supposed to magically erase how shitty you've all been as partners. It's supposed to erase the nights I've cried myself to sleep debating on whether or not there was something wrong with me. How I'm not good enough to meet anyone else in your lives like some dirty fucking secret. How none of you can even bother to pencil me for a group dinner so I can tell you a publishing house picked up my book. How at some point you all stopped caring or maybe never did."
You took a breath. Blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay.
You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't cry.
"As Simon said it best, I should have known that spreading my legs wouldn’t end with one of you putting a ring on your finger.”
For once, John was silent. Unsure of what to say. An apology starting to form at the tip of his tongue before realizing 'sorry' wouldn't cut it. Not this time.
Had he really been that sharp with you? He knew that there were times he had gotten short, but he almost always apologized immediately after. If not at the very moment he took in your crest-fallen face, then definitely later. But he almost always told you he was sorry. Didn't he?
"So as I said," you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "I'm closed. We're done. Now get out." Your face held no sadness. Even though your eyes were nearly full to the brim with unshed tears, you weren't sad.
You were finally angry.
#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#call of duty#john soap mactavish#angst#angst with a happy ending
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Begging Shadows of doubt to change the name of the case "Corpo Killer" bc that is the only reason i figured it out
#there were NO leads#i went to the people she had on her calender and got nothing#went to her job to get her password and did a little investigating but ultimately just went back to her house#i tried looking up the genetics clinic and all sorts of shit#bc i was like HMM WHY IS SHE ON BIRTH CONTROL BUT GETTING GENETIC TESTING DONE HMM#i went ot the damn HOSPITAL SHE GOT HER SCRIPT#i almost went after her fucking LANDLORD#and eventually i went wait. corpo killer. FUCK#and went back to her job. and investigated all 5 people at their damn houses#and literally WHILE I WAS AT THE LAST PERSONS HOUSE#LOSING HOPE#i watched the wife run out the front door#and was like ???#lmao she off! she knows ive got her!!#and they had a GUN but the FINGERPRINTS didnt MATCH bc they were her HUSBANDS#and also for some reason i had that the original victim had a bullet wound? but that ended up disappearing. early access.#and i was like ogh what even type of fingerprints did the killer even have? K?#and i see that the fingerprint type on the knife has changed to a NAME. of the WOMAN THAT JUST LEFT#and then i get a message that there's been another murder#and i was like HOLY SHIT IT WAS HER#THE DUMBASS JUST GAVE ME HER FINGERPRINTS AT THE FRONT DOOR#FOR FREE! I DIDNT EVEN NEED TO GO IN THEIR HOUSE!#lauratexts2023
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Hey, I'm starting to feel like this whole loa thing is just bullshit. I definitely don't want to offend anyone, but when I started to dig into it, every single blogger asked if they have personal experience with 'big' manifestation says 'no, but there are people/ there are stories' or they tell stories abt how they are absolutely adored by every single person on the planet and they life smells like roses every single day. I'm really frustrated. I don't understand why would people spend time telling others lies and convincing them it's true for sure, if they haven't experienced it themselves. I believed it. Stupidly, believed it and it made my life so much worse. Because before that I knew I have to do sht to have it, then got depressed and believed a fairytale, like an idiot. I feel like this looks like a personal attack and I'm sorry, cause it's not. I just don't understand
You’re mad? Okay. Because you bought into the aesthetic, not the truth. It isn’t about scripting in a glitter journal and then crying when nothing changes. It’s not about waiting for a miracle while you sit in self pity, scrolling for someone else’s success story to live through. It’s not even about believing it’s about becoming.
The reason it didn’t work for you is simple: you treated it like a wish instead of a decision. You wanted it to save you. You wanted something easy. It demands you burn your excuses, drop your victimhood, and choose to be the version of you who already has it, no matter what your 3d says. Not once. Every damn moment.
Stop acting like bloggers owes you something. You owe yourself everything. You either be the version of you who already has it, or you sit there complaining while the people who do it, get what they want.
Tired of feeling frustrated? Then stop letting your feelings control you and take the damn control back. You don’t get what you want by sitting back and hoping you get it by being the person who knows it's already done.
Get up. Stop whining. Start living the damn end, but no, spam bloggers with this ask only.
#law of assumption#shifting community#shift#loassblog#loassumption#loa blog#affirm and manifest 🫧 🎀✨ ִִֶָ ٠˟#affirm and persist#manifesting#reality shifting#voidblr#void state tips#the void state#the void#void#void state#voidstate#loa advice#loa success#loass#loablr#loa tumblr
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