#and that izzy might have even encouraged them to

[arsenicflame]

thinking about how all the rest of blackbeards crew had left by the time stede found the revenge

thinking about how ed was laid out in such a respectful way, like he was someone wanted to mourn

thinking about even after all he said, after mutinying on him, izzy could never really leave ed

thinking about how after all he did for them, all he lost, our crew couldn't leave him either

[tvxqmylove]

Let's raise our glasses to Izzy and OFMD creators

I just have to get it off my chest, I understand Izzy's death came as a shock and very upsetting event for many, and a lot of people are going on and on about how he deserved a better fate and how he was not just some tool to serve someone else's story. Please try to calm down and see the bigger picture. 

It is now clear that he was always meant to die. It was foreshadowed in the first minute of the second season, a ridiculous, villain's death. Being the symbolic obstacle to Stede and Ed's happiness. 

Of course that was the wrong way for him to go. When he confessed to his crush Blackbeard he got shot by him, almost died, begged to be killed, and then he even tried to kill himself. Still didn't work. It wasn’t his time yet and that was the wrong way for him to go. When he learned that he was loved and cared for after all, just not in the way he expected, he changed. He became positive, he became forgiving. Then he stopped being miserable he started genuinely wishing for the happiness of others as well, instead of being bitter about it. His death might not have a point but his life did. He had the crew's and Ed's and even Stede's back, and they knew it. As David Jenkins stated, he played the role of a wise mentor that was passing along his life experiences to others. Then it was his time. Also, as foreshadowed, he symbolically took away Blackbeard, and opened a way for Stede and Ed as well.

A happy ending is not only walking off to sunset with a lover, taking up a new job or walking into a house of your family and petting your dog before you close the door. A good death, and a life well-lived is a happy ending. Leaving behind people that loved you is a happy ending. This was a happy ending for him. 

He lived the way he wanted, as a pirate, an infamous one that has received respect and recognition. Then he resolved the parts of his life that became problematic and toxic, he repaired the relationships

that was broken, he forgave the people he needed to forgive. After going through hell, he was basically a bubble of positivity, going around giving solid advices, encouraging people and partying. He was done. He gave the best damn speech of his life at a bar like giving his own eulogy and it was awesome. He died at the arms of the person he loved the most. 

Yes he could have had more, everyone that ever died could have had more. But he died gracefully and complete, surrounded by people he loved and cared about, knowing that they will be fine. That was his story. I am sad that he died, but he died beautifully, best you can hope for in a pirate life. And he will live on, in the hearts of the people he touched by his existence. 

Finally, never harass the creators. It is their hard work that gave us Izzy in the first place. Trust their creative process, and afterwards take it or leave it, do not harass them and try to put them in a box of your personal demands. If so, what kind of 3rd season can we even expect?

[sarucane]

Why did Ed shoot Izzy then?

Figured I'd go ahead and rant about this because once I started thinking about it, it took a bit to unpack, and someone might be interested? Eh, anyway

So the reason this is actually an odd moment is this: it comes across as careless, but Ed's real violence is never careless. Ed's violence is actually really precisely targeted. He has a reputation for violence, total strangers call him a "fucking madman," and he does do some stuff offscreen ("I have seen you maim a few people") but in terms of what we actually see on our screens Ed becomes violent himself very, very rarely.

But here, he shoots Izzy. A very violent act, done casually and to someone he knows personally.

Why? Izzy thinks it's because of Stede, says himself in this scene that the source of the poison on the ship is Ed's feelings for Stede, tells Stede Ed shot him "because I dared to mention your fucking name."

But that just doesn't track. Ed is clearly brooding over Stede at several other points, and he doesn't get remotely violent. He doesn't join in the fighting at the wedding when he sees the figurine that looks like Stede or throw it against the wall later, or even become violent in any of the scenes that figurine appears in. If anything, the evidence rather suggests that Izzy has mixed up "poison" and "cure": Ed gets notably more chill when he's looked at that figurine recently.

So why does Ed shoot Izzy here? And when Izzy came to him a few minutes before with "I have love for you, I'm worried about you," why did Ed blow him off, then get scary at something that did invoke Stede?

Well, because it's Izzy who's saying this. It's not Stede himself, it's the combo of Ed having Izzy and Stede in his head at the same time that's provoking violence.

Izzy set the terms for this relationship. Ed was vulnerable and open, and Izzy said that was a fate worse than death. Ed thought he was in a safe space, and Izzy threw shame and threats at him.

Ed conformed to Izzy's expectations, directly and completely. Izzy was clearly happy that Ed was cutting off his toe and making him eat it. Izzy set the rules, and Ed followed them. That's right down to the scene before this, when Izzy says that the crew are refusing to throw away the treasure and Ed says "and that's another toe." There are rules, they're being followed.

And then Izzy goes and tries to change the rules. Tries to encourage Ed to be vulnerable. Invokes the original source of the pain that made Ed vulnerable in the first place.

It's actually kinda admirable that Izzy does this. What he's doing is beginning to acknowledge how wrong he was before. But it's too little (he still thinks of Stede as a problem, not a solution) and far too late.

Ed's not going to take anything that hits him where he hurts from Izzy. He followed the rules--hell, he's still following the rules when he shoots Izzy, hits him on the same leg that was losing toes. He doesn't owe Izzy one iota of vulnerability. And more importantly, he can't become vulnerable with Izzy. The relationship is absolutely and completely entrenched. This story ends with one of them killing the other. And just like Izzy's the one who started them on the path of that story, now Ed's the one who's going to push it forward.

[izzysillyhandsy]

How I learned to stop being angry and love the Death Scene (for now)

This may be a controversial take, but I've come to the conclusion that Izzy's death scene maybe wasn't badly written after all.

There is one big aspect of this scene that I really love: it was 100% in character for Izzy AND Ed (and everyone else too) at that point in their story.

BUT it only works if we are not expected to believe that 1. this was in any way a happy ending for any of them and 2. that this arc is finished.

If Izzy stays dead permanently, his death and the way it happened, what was said and notably what wasn't, was tragic for everyone involved - especially Ed - and we should feel bad about it. This isn't an uplifting scene of closure for either Izzy or Ed, and it is totally understandable that most Izzy fans were crushed by it (and Ed fans, even those who don't like Izzy, should be too!).

If there is no possibility that anyone, in any way, can talk to Izzy ever again and (in Ed's case) clean up the mess between them - then this is not a comedy any more. It's a tragedy. And it should be treated as such by the show and the creators (and this might be where disappointment lies waiting).

The death scene by itself though was fitting, if we look at where Ed and Izzy are on their character arcs at the end of S2. It played out exactly as I'd have expected.

Izzy - All about Eddie

The main problem I (and many others) had with Izzy's death scene is that it is all about Ed.

Izzy is apologizing for everything that happened, including Ed cutting his fuckin' leg off. He is reassuring Ed that he wants to go, it's ok, no need to be sad. He encourages Ed to be soft, emotional, himself. He tells him that his biggest fear, being unloveable to anyone except Izzy, isn't real - he has a family now.

And, now that I've had time to think about it, I realized: YES this is exactly what Izzy would do.

All of S2 was about Izzy breaking the chain, but until the end it was still all about Ed for him (because it's not as easy as cutting off a rotten leg, unfortunately). Izzy would make his last moments about Ed, trying to do as much good as possible in the short time he had left. Or, trying to undo as much of what he thought he'd done wrong.

And I really don't want to take away from Izzy's accomplishments and character growth in S2. He'd come so far already! After years and years of singleminded devotion and love he'd finally realized that their form of entanglement was destructive.

Izzy broke up with Ed in Ep2 - and it almost killed him both of them. He started to look for meaning outside of his relationship with Ed, rediscovering aspects of himself that had long been buried and forgotten. He began, tentatively, to form bonds to members of the crew and put himself out there, away from Ed's side, away from being Ed's voice and Ed's hands, ruled by Ed's emotions.

But there wasn't enough time: still, everything he did was, in one way or another, at least partly about Ed.

Whittling - a Blackbeard metaphor Training Stede - "What did he say about me specifically" La vie en rose - a love song about "the one" and promises for life Hiya boys - oh my god he's trying so hard here but this is killing him, isn't it Bonding with Stede at Jackie's - "He's a complicated man" The Ricky monologue - so much passion behind every word, not getting what you want, letting go of ego for something larger - the whole speech was (at least partly) about Ed

(I believe the first Ricky monologue about belonging is more about Ed than the crew and I know this is not a popular take. Still, for me it makes sense because this is how Izzy felt for decades. I don't think he has shaken that mindset yet - give up your ego, your own dreams and personality for something larger - Ed&Izzy or Blackbeard. When he says "he crew" it feels like a bit of an afterthought - there is a pause.)

So, at the end of S2, Izzy is not over Ed at all - he's deeply hurt, feels incredibly guilty (unreasonably so!) and is repressing a lot of what happened.

He's still so entangled with Ed - if this is his last chance to make things right, he will.

And as much as I would have loved seeing Izzy dying surrounded by his loving family, he wasn't there yet. Not as long as Ed was around. And I think the crew understood. They understood Izzy more then he understood himself at one point ("You're in a toxic relationship with Blackbeard"). They understood what he was going through, and they gave him space to say goodbye to the man he had loved for his whole life.

Izzy died how he lived - all wrapped up in Eddie. And at this point in his life, I wouldn't have expected anything else.

Ed - All about us, you and Me

I love the symbolism of these 2 frames - while Izzy's bloody hand is entangled in Ed's hair until death (and beyond), Ed's bloody hand is putting a distance between Izzy and everyone else but himself.

I wonder how Ed would have taken it if it had been the other way round - if Izzy had found himself a Stede at the start of S1.

I think not well is an understatement.

Even though Ed seems constantly annoyed by Izzy in S1 (and violently destructive towards him in S2), at no point did I get the impression that he actually wanted Izzy to leave, for Izzy to love him less intently or be less devoted.

But, it wasn't very much about Izzy as a person, or Izzy's happiness, or their shared happiness anymore. I think Ed saw himself and Izzy as "together forever, us two against the world", but without putting any work in or pausing to think how Izzy was actually feeling (and I am 100% sure that Ed knew how much Izzy loved him and how little love he got in return).

But being with Izzy was Ed's whole life, they were two halves of the same whole, and Ed even kinda expected Izzy to stay around after he fell in love with Stede ("We could have worked this out!") and didn't really think about how this never, ever could have worked out for the kind of relationship they were having (this is how Steddyhands... was so compelling actually).

So is it any wonder that, in Izzy's last moments on earth, Ed wants to have him all to himself? He sends Stede away. He signals the crew to stay (waaayy) back. He cradles Izzy in his arms, his back to the crew and everyone else who loved him.

And although, at the start, he tries to get a word in (to apologize back, to tell him he's forgiven) - Izzy dies without hearing anything that wasn't directly related to Ed and Ed's feelings.

Ed never tells him he loves him. He doesn't tell him how much Izzy will be missed for himself and not for what he could do for Ed. How important he was to Ed all those years.

The only thing Izzy gets from Ed before he dies is "You can't go. You can't leave me. Please! You're my only family."

What will happen to Ed? You can't do this to Ed! Ed has noone else! And as sad as this is, it is in character for him at this point in his life.

Ed is fundamentally a very self-centered (and self-hating) person, and his journey towards change had just begun with his death and rebirth. And just like Izzy, he would have needed much more time to grow (although Izzy'd gotten much, much further than Ed).

At Calypso's birthday, I think for the first time in forever, Ed saw Izzy as his own person, someone who he could actually love apart from this Ed-Izzy union they had going for so long. But only a few days (I guess?) later, Izzy dies.

So, at the end of S2, Ed still sees Izzy as "his" to a degree, sees him as one half of "us". He almost expects Izzy's last words to be about him (or them) and doesn't yet see Izzy as his own person, with his own feelings and ties to other people who might have wanted to say goodbye as well.

For Ed, Izzy died how he lived - wrapped up in Ed and Ed keeping everyone else away. Talking about himself only in relation to Ed. Izzy as a part of Ed that's vital and needed - but not itself in need of words of solace or other people's love (or any love, period).

Conclusion

At this point in Ed's and Izzy's life, the death scene and how it was written/acted is perfect, in my opinion. But for the characters, it's incredibly tragic.

Izzy never got what he wanted most - Ed's love. He died believing almost his whole life was a mistake, keeping Ed from his true self for far too long and destroying him in the process. In the end, the crew who had unconditionally loved and accepted him, stood at a distance, and the man he still loved over anyone and anything else never told Izzy what he meant to him - and now he never will.

Ed was absolved of his guilt and maybe, in the moment, he even believed it. But of course everything that happened in S2, and everything before that, wasn't (only) Izzy's fault and in the future, Ed has to deal with that. Only now there is no Izzy here to work it through with, and to make amends, no one who was there for it all and who knows parts of Ed best. When Ed finally realizes what Izzy meant to him, it will be too late.

So, if we get a S3 and nothing is ever made of all of this, if Izzy is really dead and the Ed/Izzy dynamic is done and dealt with, then it was bad writing (and I am so afraid that will actually happen).

But as it stands, I'm beginning to love the scene for what it is: a tragic, consistent ending for two characters that I love deeply.

But please don't tell me this was a kind ending.

[xxbranch-dressingxx]

A post I've been meaning to make but keep forgetting to is the fact that the way steadyhands can actually win is they need the three of them to balance eachother out.

Between them, we usually have only two of them freaking out at a time (unless I'm missing something) for example, s1e4. Stede and Izzy are both freaked abt the approaching Spanish navy, Ed is calm (even tho he kinda does rile them up a bit but I think he thinks he's playing, like with fang and the knife parade)

When stede is knocked off balance by killing Ned Low, izzy advises Ed to give him a minute. Ed doesn't really take that advice and goes forward anyway, which we see Ed later considers a mistake.

Again, we see Izzy take the role of mediator when Ed decides to leave, he goes to comfort Stede and suggests he gets back to the ship before he ends up on the wrong side of a sword (he knows stede is fucked up abt Ed and wants to get him somewhere safe before he takes those negative feelings out on someone else)

When Ed is still trying to claw his way out of the gravy basket and izzy is lost in his grief and booze, Stede comes to him to ask his opinion of Ed, knowing he cares deeply for him and hoping he will want him to stay, but he also expresses concern with izzys drinking and even scolds the unicorn when Izzy starts yelling at it in solidarity without a hint of sarcasm to it.

I don't think it's healthy in the long run, but I do think that until they get to a point where they are communicating properly and learning to manage their own mental health, it helps when one of them is the fulcrum while the others try to balance. Izzy is obviously trying to show his support for Ed and Stede in the only way he knows how, training him and giving him positive reinforcement when he does well at the things he's trying to do well. He talks to Ed abt his feelings after he tosses his leathers overboard and encourages him to do the thing he think might make him happy. And even tho this leads to Ed breaking things off with stede for the time being, that's not izzys fault that that's the direction he takes this. Remember, both Ed and Izzy recently attempted to take their own lives so I'm not gonna expect either of them to be in the right headspace.

I would like to see the inverse. One is upset with the other two trying to stabilize, but that's a ways out bc rn they're all upset all the time. Maybe one day they can all be happy and getting along at the same time. I dunno.

[brigdh]

I was thinking about Izzy as a father figure, and his apology during his death scene, and trying to make it all make sense, and I've got a theory.

I think, perhaps, Jenkins wanted Izzy to symbolize the Good Father, in contrast to Ed's Bad Fathers (his actual dad and Hornigold).

Jenkins's exact quotes: “There is a nice parallel to have Ed treat him so badly at the beginning of the season and then come all the way around to where Izzy is this sort of father figure he doesn’t want to lose — because Ed usually kills his father figures.” And from another interview: "And he’s one person who kind of raised Ed right, because Blackbeard usually kills his parental figures." (Check this incredibly useful post compiling all of Jenkins's interviews.)

I think Izzy wasn't meant to parallel Ed's Bad Fathers, but to be their opposite. Ed kills his Bad Fathers (I don't think there's a suggestion that he killed Hornigold in reality, but we see him try to in the Gravy Basket); in opposition, his attempt to kill Izzy fails and then he tries to prevent Izzy's death and mourns when he can't. Ed's Bad Fathers abuse him and force him to be violent and hard; Izzy (over the course of S2) comes to support him, his retirement, and his relationship with Stede. Ed's Bad Fathers would never apologize to him – but Izzy does, and that's what's going on with his dying speech. Moreso than being about Izzy's own actions, Jenkins wanted to symbolize Ed's dad and Hornigold apologizing for the trauma they caused ("I fed your darkness"), and that's what Ed actually needs to heal and move on (well, he does in a sitcom-level understanding of psychology). Izzy's death, then, is a redemption not particularly of himself, but of Ed's whole category of Fathers.

This still isn't really fair to Izzy as a separate character – after all, he's not Ed's dad or Hornigold, he's possibly never even met either of them – and he doesn't function as a father figure to Ed in S1 or most of S2. Ed's his boss, his partner, but not remotely, not even symbolically, his child. We don't know exactly how young Izzy and Ed were when they first met, but it seems likely that Ed already had all of his foundational, self-shaping traumas by that point. Ed already needed the mask and protection of Blackbeard, even if perhaps Izzy had a hand in figuring out how to bring it into existence.

But, if you're Jenkins (or one of the other writers or directors involved, whoever came up with this plot), and you feel like you need to fix Ed's youthful traumas to have him believably move forward to the next chapter of the story, I can see how you'd want a story beat that's the opposite of Ed's core wound – not the Bad Father he kills thereby hurting himself, but the Good Father who dies thereby healing him. And who else could you remotely stuff into that role? Like, Izzy's not a good fit, but anyone else would be even worse. The fact that Izzy did have a good relationship with Ed in the past, that they did like one another once, and that Izzy spends S2 becoming even more open and encouraging is all necessary to make the distinction between Izzy and the Bad Fathers, to make Izzy the one who finally breaks the pattern.

...which still, like, kinda sucks as a plot point? But I think this might have been what Jenkins et al where at least going for.

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

Mod's Self Indulgent Polyship Poll Masterpost

Hello and welcome to the poll where I cannot lose! As the winner of the next-poll poll, we mark the return of powerpolycule showdown with my own self indulgent poll, where every contest is a polyship I like so whoever wins I also win 💖

While the premise likely sounds a bit selfish, I hope you find something among the contestants that speaks to you, and maybe you'll have yourself a new polyship or even just a new piece of beloved media even if you disagree with me (which is fine!!). Do keep in mind the ships vary from canon, to personal headcanons that will never happen to "the creators were onto something here I swear but they were cowards".

Now, the rules!

Vote for whoever you like best, if you don't know them, please check out their descriptions! I worked very hard to write those.

Don't be an asshole in the notes section. If I see a fandom being particularly toxic I will disqualify that ship. You don't need to like everything, just don't be rude.

Propaganda is welcome and encouraged!

As a personal rule to myself, I left out 3 of our beloved polycules from last year because the next poll will be rare polyships, and I believe they fit that category. They will be returning there!

There will be revival rounds because I was unable to narrow the list down to 16, and I didn't want to exclude any other ships. So if a polyship you like loses their first poll, not all hope is lost!!

Not a rule, but a reminder: The inclusion of a polyship does not mean I support or condone statements from any of the cast members from the source media.

Tags:

#selfindulgentpoll - all posts relevant to this poll

#siround[n] - every post for each poll will be tagged this way, [n] representing the number correspondent to each round (#siround1, #siround2, etc)

#sirevival[n] - revival round polls, [n] representing the number of the revival poll (#sirevival1, #sirevival2, etc)

#sipropaganda - any propagabda posts/reblogs/asks by other people. if u like any of the ships, make sure to campaign for it so it has higher chances of winning!!

#polypoll or #bonus poll - any poll made by me not directly related to the competition

#poll boost - self reblog of the polls for visibility, for people who might want to block those.

Relevant links:

Match Ups

Round 1 (finished!)

@tournament-announcer

List of contestants under the cut!

Roy/Keeley/Jamie (Ted Lasso)

Gwen/Miles/Hobie (Spiderverse)

Wu Zetian/Li Shimin/Gao Yizhi (Iron Widow)

Julien/Marnie/Roman (Charity Case)

Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler/Robin Buckley (Stranger Things)

Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson/Chrissy Cunningham (Stranger Things)

Kayla/Elise/Hotaru (Shootaround)

Oikawa/Iwaizumi/Matsukawa/Hanamaki (Haikyuu)

Akaashi/Bokuto/Kuroo/Kenma (Haikyuu)

Ennoshita/Tanaka/Kanoka (Haikyuu)

Midna/Zelda/Link (Twilight Princess)

Zelda/Link/Sidon/Yona (Tears of the Kingdom)

Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer (The Witcher)

Martin/Jon/Tim/Sasha (The Magnus Archives)

Georgie/Melanie/Rosie (The Magnus Archives)

Jon/Martin/Gerry (The Magnus Archives)

Georgie/Melanie/Basira/Daisy (The Magnus Archives)

Georgie/Melanie/Helen Distortion (The Magnus Archives)

Jon/Martin/Tim (The Magnus Archives)

Sam/Celia/Alice/Gwen (The Magnus Protocol)

Stede/Blackbeard/Izzy (Our Flag Means Death)

Black Pete/Lucius/Izzy (Our Flag Means Death)

Penny/Sam/Sebastian/Abigail (Stardew Valley)

Farmer/Leah/Elliot (Stardew Valley)

Zack/Cloud/Aerith/Tifa/Jessie/Briggs/Wedge (FF7R)

Edward/Winry/Paninya (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood)

York/Rosé/Grendan (Drawtectives)

Megaera/Zagreus/Thanatos (Hades)

(yes a huge chunk is magnus archives and i will not apologize)

[alexanderlightweight]

Can we get some some more Trueblood heir Alec for writing wendsday?

How is everbody doing? I hope that this week will be less stressful for you than the last!

Hey anon, i went with star eater which is the alec trueblood sentient shadow au. i hope you enjoy it and that this verse worked for you!

Thank you so much for asking! the week was less stressful but more busy but i'm slowly catching up on all the things i'm behind on! (writing and laundry and i need to thaw some chicken)

-

Saeth: doing alright. Really sore and tired. Our wrist is killing us because host got into on tumblr (rping as if Pokémon is real) and killed our hands lmao (I’m plural and not the host of our system)

*they've also been playing the new zelda game and finally passed out after refusing to sleep so they could keep playing - lumine

-

Alec stares at his little sister and his something-of-a-younger-brother Jace and wonders exactly where everything went wrong. It’s one of the rare times that Alec gets to see them both and while he’s still getting used to Jace, he likes the other boy well enough.  Or at least, he does when he’s not encouraging Izzy to break the rules and be stupid.

“We’re not doing that.” Alec says, interrupting Jace’s latest attempt to form a plan. A plan that Alec already knows wouldn’t work. “Mother left us here with the understanding that we are mature enough to not cause problems or get ourselves into trouble. Are we not mature enough?” Alec gives them both the deadpan stare he’s seen Ragnor give to idiots and is gratified when they shuffle nervously.

“But hermano—” Izzy whines and Alec’s noticed that she only ever calls him that when she wants something, “LA is so boring compared to New York. We just want to see if the demons are different!”

“It’s daytime. The only demons you could hunt are in the sewers. I didn’t know you were so interested in sewer monitoring.” Alec pretends to brighten up and he starts to tap into his tablet when Izzy shrieks and tries to grab it from him.

Alec’s genuinely surprised.

Not many people dare to touch him and certainly not in anger, so it’s with baffled confusion that he watches his shadows pluck Izzy up and deposit her back in her chair.

“That was rude.” Alec comments, because he’s not sure what else to say. “I didn’t realize you were still a toddler, Izzy.” Because he honestly doesn’t remember having to deal with this level of entitlement since Izzy was two and refusing to understand what ‘no’ meant.

“I’m bored and you’re such a dull blade, Alec!” Izzy complains and she huffs and crosses her arms, “Jace and I agreed we were going to have fun!”

“Well, I didn’t agree to that, and this is going to be my Institute.” Alec reminds her, because it is and he’s not about to risk getting what he wants because his baby sister wants to act like a baby. “The portal to Idris is still open, you can always leave.”

Alec nods decisively and says nothing, even when Izzy’s face scrunches up and she sniffles or Jace sends him a dark, admonishing look. Izzy and Jace get to do whatever they want in LA, but this isn’t LA and Alec isn’t that nice. Ragnor’s taught him all about consequences and Alec’s not going to be paying the price for other people’s stupidity.

Also, Alec already knows that Izzy and Jace aren’t interested in hunting demons during the day. The two of them want to see the mundane side of things in New York and if Alec knew anything about the mundane side, he might be willing to show them around.  However, he doesn’t, and he doesn’t trust them on their own. Therefore, they won’t be leaving without supervision and his company.

“We never get away from LA and you’re being such a jerk.” Izzy complains and she looks about ready to throw her plate on the floor, something else Alec thought she’d already grown out of. “You never even visit me, so why is it a big deal if we want to explore here with you?”

“You know why I don’t visit you.” Alec tells her, honestly confused, “I didn’t think you also hated Robert.”

Izzy pales and Jace looks between the two of them with confusion hidden under his arrogance.

“There’s no guarantee Robert will survive a second encounter with my shadows.” Alec explains and he shrugs, unsure why Jace looks so distraught and upset. “Mother says he’s lucky he was left alive. If I visit LA, I’m going to have to see him and if I see him, there’s no telling what happened. So, I guess I’m asking, what changed? Because I thought you still loved him?”

Izzy gives a little, small snarl and falls into the back of her chair with a glower. “Fine, that’s not what I meant. Don’t be stupid Alec, I just meant you could loosen up. Learn to live a little and let us live a little, you don’t have to be this unfeeling soldier all the time.”

“Not letting you break the rules isn’t being unfeeling or a soldier.” Alec rolls his eyes, “it’s understanding that the consequences for the rules you want to break aren’t worth it. Especially when the only reason you want to break the rules, is because you’re bored and curious.” Alec waits a minute and then he looks at them both, “and spoiled.”

[tizzyizzy]

Wait, I forgot to put this on my post about the differences between Ed and Izzy singing for the crew!

Intimately Personal Song vs. Existing Love Song

When Ed sings, he isn't singing just any song. He's singing a highly emotionally charged song he wrote himself about his personal feelings, all while he is still in the grip of those feelings. Ed does not sound like a practice singer, so this may well be the first time he's ever sung with an audience.

Izzy is an excellent singer, which suggests he has done so in the past. He is also singing a song he didn't write with a pleasant, romantic mood. The crew can and do dance to it.

While performance is always exposing, Ed is taking a much greater emotional risk than Izzy. He is putting his most intense feelings out there for a group of people he doesn't really know. The Revenge crew were encouraging, but if they hadn't been, it would have been devastating. Ed is literally undressed in front of them, baring his deepest soul.

It's also, honestly, a major social faux pas. It is not socially acceptable to write a dramatic song about your recent break-up and sing about it to your subordinates out of nowhere. And even if we do accept that it was healing, it is also...A Lot.

While Izzy is expressing himself through his choice of makeup, clothing, and song, he is actually filling an preexisting social role: performer. The crew might not expect Izzy specifically to sing or wear makeup, but they would expect music. Izzy is entertaining them. He is contributing to the experience like Roach with his food and Frenchie with his lute. While Izzy might have personal reasons for picking la Vie en Rose, no one hearing it would know.

So Izzy is risking much less. Maybe mockery over his makeup, or choice of song, or his singing. His pride and dignity might be on the line, but that's all.

[uselessheretic]

Harm Reduction in the OFMD Fandom: Izcourse Edition

I keep wanting to write something up about this, but getting stumped on how to even begin. Largely, because I already know exactly what bad faith arguments are going to be made off the bat, and I feel reluctant to clog down my writing trying to dispel every weird take about things I didn't say. So, it is what it is. If you have questions please ask politely and use a bit of critical thought beyond trying to find anything to grab hold on to contradict.

The Izzy fandom gets harassed. A lot. Nobody here understands why either. When referencing harassment, I'm most likely referring to either direct abusive messages such as anon hate through Tumblr, or talking about the OFMD through a holistic view that includes harassment through Twitter of common dogpiling, stalking, spreading of false rumors, the occasional doxxing, and other things. I'm including Twitter in this conversation because the world doesn't revolve around individuals on Tumblr, and for some of us, it's beneficial to talk about the greater context of fandom without assuming that we are blaming random Tumblr users for Twitter drama. That said, a lot of people use both platforms and the two of them are closely linked, especially since a lot of meta from Tumblr gets poorly replicated on Twitter.

So we're on the same page, the way I'm defining harassment is: The continuous or severe targeting of an individual or group through harmful behavior that includes physical threats, name-calling, impersonation, spreading malicious rumors, and encouraging others to harass a target. This is not an all-inclusive list, but I want to create a baseline for what I'm talking about. This also means things such as stating you dislike a character, responding to another's post to disagree, or speaking positively about a character. This also means that instances of conflict are not inherently harassment either, although this is murkier as we move through the gray area of "continuous or severe."

I'll also be using the terms "Izzy likers" and "Izzy crit" since those seem to be each respective sides more preferred terms and things like "Izzy stans" or "Izzy antis" can hold negative connotations. I'll also be referring to the anon hate received as from a singular person, unless noted otherwise, and as "L anon."

So, I guess let's dive into it?

I've seen the question posed a few times "Well, what do you want us to do about it?" when Izzy likers have brought up the topic of harassment or alluded to the fact that Izzy crits as a group contribute to this. It's true that our individual ability to stop harassment completely is an impossible task, however, there are actions that can be taken as a collective to reduce the amount of harm being done. I don't believe it's true that harassment is an aspect of fandom one must accept to be within it. I also don't think it's right to equate messages telling Black people to get lynched as the norm in fandom everyone has to deal with. I understand that anon hate is common throughout fandoms, but the vitriol and noticeable escalation of L anon is an anomaly that deserves to be taken seriously.

Actions I'm proposing (and will elaborate on) are for Izzy crits to STOP:

Minimizing the harassment of Izzy likers

Separating this harassment from greater conversations of misogyny, transphobia, racism, and antiblackness

Engaging with L anon unless it is to very clearly condemn him without caveats

Encouraging the association of liking Izzy as being an indicator that someone is racist, abusive, homophobic, etc

Using the #Izzy Hands tag as a place to post character hate, criticisms of Izzy likers, or to find meta focused on disliking him.

Minimizing harassment and distancing identity

This includes things such as suggesting that the harassment might not exist, that it isn't that bad, it's just a troll, turn off anon, everybody deals with this, and the idea that people are using discussions on harassment as an excuse. Minimizing harassment normalizes the behavior and continues a narrative that Izzy likers should expect to get harassed online. Downplaying the effects or severity dismisses the victims of it, and refusing to recognize that this is a form of passive endorsement.

I feel some type of way about this personally because I don't appreciate my experiences of racist harassment being treated as something I should just get over or normal in fandom. Like sorry to keep bringing it up I guess lol but like?

This isn't okay and it goes beyond "normal" fandom harassment and I feel like I'm going crazy having to argue that this isn't just something shitty that happens to everyone, but an awful, violent, and frightening message(s) to receive. It genuinely concerns me to see white people in fandom brush it off and make a choice to instead focus on the implications of shipping Izzy with his boss. It points towards a trend of dehumanization online where we no longer see people as people, but characters in our screen who have lesser value than our favorite blorbos. I cannot believe I have to say this.

Purposely separating L anon from identity is another way of passively justifying abuse. Whenever people brush off L anon, it's often in the context of anon hate happens to everyone and ignores the fact that more marginalized identities are getting the brunt of this which includes rape threats, suicide baiting, and overt antiblackness. It can often be followed with reminders that Izzy crits of color also receive racism. The thing is, saying that Izzy likers are receiving racist harassment, doesn't mean that other groups of fans do not. The harassment Izzy likers gets still matters, even if you don't view it as unique. It's concerning to hear white allies especially utilize this rhetoric as if they have a limited capacity of caring for poc.

Engaging with L anon

A lot of people do straight up delete L anon asks. On the Izzy likers side at least, there's been an uptick in people posting the hate they receive or collecting screencaps before blocking out of a necessity of proving that the hate exists. I think a lot of us would prefer to not have to do that!

It would help if Izzy crits made an effort to stop engaging with the anon unless it was to condemn his actions. Certain forms of engagement can be viewed as encouragement whether intentional or not, and it feels noticeable that in the last few weeks L anon has gotten increasingly violent.

You don't have to tell L anon that "I'm not even an Izzy stan so you have the wrong blog anyways" because this normalizes the idea that he should be focusing his attention on Izzy likers. You don't have to argue and justify to L anon that you actually dislike Izzy or prove that you're critical of him for the same reason.

You certainly don't need to tell L anon "I don't care if you harass Izzy stans" and it's insane to pretend like this is anything but a dick move.

Telling L anon "you act just like an Izzy stan!" or that they're "Izzy coded" reinforces to him that Izzy likers are abusers and racists, therefore affirming in his mind that they're acceptable targets.

Seriously, if your response is anything other than "sending these messages is fucked up and nobody in fandom deserves this for liking a character" then just block and delete the ask. Any amount of attention can be twisted into positive affirmation and adding on "harassment is bad" doesn't negate the impact of confirming to anon that you view Izzy likers as racist abusers.

Encouraging the association of liking Izzy as being an indicator that someone is racist, abusive, homophobic, etc

It sucks stop doing it. We can draw a difference between Izzy the character and Izzy likers. In the end, your interpretation of a character is yours and nobody can stop you from having it. Putting thought into how you frame meta, however, could help lessen this association.

Be careful with your language and ensure that you are referring to the character when discussing the show. "Izzy stans refuse to see that he's X" is an unnecessary statement when it can just be that "Izzy is X which you can see from scene Y." When there is a specific trend of harassment being justified via claiming a group of people is bigoted, it's worth the effort of minimizing feeding into that assumption.

Saying shit like "Izzy likers who are poc are desperate for white approval" is like for one really shitty lmao? But also feels bad in a climate where people are being called Candace Owens race traitors who should be killed.

There's a great article that touches on this and the way that even when someone isn't directly harassing a person, their separate posts in combination with others, reifies the idea that the victim in an appropriate target.

The author further elaborate in her research about third order or indirect harassment.

The examples she uses here are a bit more extreme, but this is the same framework she's utilizing in her article discussing harassment on the left and in queer communities.

When you answer L anon and say shit like:

or respond to concerns about racist targeting like this:

I am in fact going to feel some type of way about a week later seeing L anon increasingly escalate his behavior until I get six messages in my inbox calling me a race traitor bigoted cunt. It doesn't matter if you say "it's bad to be racist" when you're already confirming the idea that Izzy likers are the main exporters of racism in fandom which is explicitly L anon's justification for sending hate.

Tagging character hate

I still can't believe that this is an argument when it's a basic courtesy within fandom and has been for years. Tagging character hate doesn't constitute as harassment. However, it does exacerbate an already hostile climate between fans and allows for more conflict that could be easily avoided.

If a meta post is in the character tag then people are going to respond to it. It being tagged communicates that this is something people can respond, especially when you encourage people who agree with you to comment.

If you want less Izzy likers to respond to your Izzy meta then just stop tagging it as #Izzy Hands. It will greatly decrease the amount of interaction! Putting posts into the tag ends up baiting people into responding, continuing to draw out a conflict that nobody wants to be in.

If you don't like Izzy and you think he's too popular a character or his fandom is where you end up seeing the most toxicity come from please consider not going through his tag. If you instead look through tags of characters you like, you will be rewarded with content of that character. The character tag will not function adequately as a place to locate critical content for them, so just cut out the middle man, and stop using it because it's just pissing both sides off and "I have a right to be here!" is the dumbest hill to die on.

Using alternative tags for organization literally just makes things easier for everyone. Tagging things with #Izzy crit or something like #Dizzy Izzy allows you to have a space to locate similar posts without having to expose yourself to a group of people you don't like. It also provides an easy tag for people to block and avoid seeing on their dashboard. This is better than people just having mute the tag to filter out when going through his character tag, because it doesn't require an entire community to cater towards your need to post things in a tag on principle. People who are new to the fandom and just happen to like the character also don't have to be confused by seeing chara hate in the tag and going to argue with it.

It is good to center your fandom experience on things you like instead of being set on asserting your right to be within a space you don't like! I promise!

[ragingstillness]

Ok so I just finished the episodes and by a cruel twist of fate I once again have to work in the morning so here’s my quick thoughts:

Calypso’s bday was clearly a pride celebration and I love that for them

I actually picked up on it surprisingly fast, like literally when Frenchie left the galley to go prepare for the party

Izzy’s voice is of course always tops, we knew Con could sing but man he really belted it this episode

Ned Low is a dick and deserved what he got

I now stan Hellcat Maggie

Not surprised murder turns Stede on, frankly it was smtg I was always expecting

While their previous two kisses have been sweet and romantic I was happy to see one with some passion

Izzy, Jim, and Wee John in drag mean everything to me

Poor Roach, he seemed to be enjoying his torture

Wish we’d seen whatever torture there was that “turned Izzy on” lol

Can confirm, people who play violin are assholes (source: I am a violinist) /jk

Ngl the episode felt a tiny bit rushed idk if that was just me

Ricky’s a dick and his speech immediately made me think of a gay priest who is denying himself and condemning homosexuality (for which specific priest, just take your pick there are a lot of them)

As much as I like Ed trying to encourage Stede not to “kill in cold blood” I think that ship has totally sailed on both their parts. Even if you don’t claim Stede’s killing of the Badmintons as “cold blood” he did totally set that ship of French aristocrats on fire

I like that the show’s acknowledging that jumping right into sex especially after trauma is not necessarily a good idea no matter how much some part of my shipper heart is like ugh why are they fighting again let them be happy

The second episode in particular Stede spends kind of acting like a dick and knowing Djenks and his team this is on purpose but it’s still unpleasant to watch

I feel like Stede’s fallen into the trap of now that he’s back with Ed he thinks everything is going to be fine and he’s turned Ed into this idealized figure again and is ignoring the actual things that Ed says

That being said, I do agree with him that Ed is being a coward by running off to become a fisherman as if he wasn’t a bloodthirsty pirate who still hasn’t made up for his actions to the crew.

Ed becoming a fisherman is clearly a “I was happy fishing for the first time in a long time I want to hold onto that feeling” decision

Essentially both Ed and Stede are running from their faults and pasts and I think they need to talk it out

Ed seems to be trying to say to Stede that he wants to have time to love himself before falling headlong into a relationship but he missed the mark a bit

Izzy briefly plays Lucius’ role in congratulating them on sleeping together and giving Stede advise

It fits him like an over large suit but I understand they needed a character to fill that role and Lucius has his own plotline now

I do think Izzy is being remarkably calm and that might not last, he’s probably bottling it up

Has the Jim/Olu/Archie polycule expanded to include Zheng? I’m so confused by it all. I don’t disapprove in any way I just feel like some of the relationships in that square are qpps and some are romantic and I can’t really nail down which is which

Fang and Roach bonding I kind of ship them a little

The Paper-azzi hysterical

Jackie’s new outfit: yes queen

The Swede’s new look: bitchin’

I feel like most of the cast have gotten hotter over the season. Shows what a few modifications in costuming can do (note, I said in costuming not in body or face or anything I’m not shaming anyone)

At one point I straight up thought Izzy was a ghost the way he kept popping up near Stede and Ed and giving commentary, idk if that was intentional

Izzy is still dealing with his alcoholism and I’m glad they didn’t pretend that’d be solved in a few days

RIP Ed’s leathers, you were hot

I knew there was smtg up with those clocks but I thought there was some sort of secret message in them not that they’d explode. That might be just because I considered it an anachronism. The earliest I can find evidence of a time bomb with a little googling is 1776 but that may be wrong

Who was firing on the republic? Was it Ricky or did the bombs somehow set off the canons on Zheng’s ships?

Stede deserved the beat down he got he was being a misogynistic dick

Also, it’s about time Stede detached from Ed long enough to realize that he hasn’t spent enough quality time with his crew to get them to stay with him when there are other options

Not surprised Ed didn’t kill Ned Low but a little surprised Izzy didn’t, as Izzy’s canonically killed everyone Ed couldn’t

Izzy mentioning how Ed shot him when he told him he loved him and Stede responding as if he’d heard that before I would have loved to see that scene

In general these two episodes felt a little rushed but idk if I’m perceiving that correctly I’m too tired

[run-me-through-but-not-like-that]

The Softest of Them All

Summary: Izzy Hands can't believe that somebody like you would get his attention. A member of Bonnet's crew, a disgrace of a pirate, too friendly for your own good. He couldn't be more obvious in his pining. Could you give him a chance?

Life was cruel, this was something Izzy had accepted a long time ago. Life was cruel and laughed in the face of those who thought otherwise.

Izzy was certain that some higher power was laughing at him now. Bringing Stede Bonnet into his life, placing him on the deck of the Revenge, having his captain be seduce by the absolute buffoonery that the crew of the Revenge was.

Barely anyone in Bonnet's crew was a decent pirate, which about two exceptions. Buttons knew everything about how to run a ship and had a near supernatural sense for the sea and weather, and Jim was clearly a skilled fighter, even Izzy wouldn't go up against them without thinking about it first.

The rest were next to useless.

And that was probably the biggest joke, wasn't it? You were not a pirate, you might be aboard a pirate ship but you were not a pirate. Izzy knew pirates, had spend nearly his whole life around them, you were not one. You were...fuck, he didn't even know. And yet, it was you that he found himself drawn too.

It was you that Izzy found himself watching when he was supervising the crew, you that had him biting back smiles when you were around. You were infectious. Your kindness, your sweetness, it was even penetrating Izzy's steel walls.

-

Izzy had ordered you and Frenchie to sew up the spare sail. What he hadn't ordered you to do was to loudly and cheerfully sing some sea shanty while you worked. He had wanted to snap at you both for paying more attention to the song than the task at hand, of course, but when he came closer to inspect your work he found that it was near perfect.

Your sewing was pretty good, you had mentioned something about Wee John having taught you when Izzy had supervised the sewing of the sail and he absolutely hated that he could remember that.

Besides that, you could swab a deck just fine but you really would have to be a new level of useless to mess that up.

Your knots were shit. Though, whenever he told you that, you would frown and ask him to show you how to do it properly. You weren't scoffing at him or rolling your eyes or telling him to do it himself, you wanted to learn and he could appreciate that to an extent.

And when Izzy did pause to show you how to do something properly or more efficiently, you truly listened and gave it your best try. Annoyingly, it was difficult to be angry with you when you were one of the few crew members actually trying to learn. Plus, you certainly seemed the most devoted to learning, evening asking him for lessons on various 'pirate things'. He just closed his eyes and counted to ten when you called it that, he wouldn't snap, not when you were willing to put your best effort in.

So, he taught you some knots, he taught you a little navigation just because you asked (even if you didn't really need to know that in your role aboard the ship), and gave you some sword fighting lessons after you pleaded with him long enough. He couldn't help but find your little lessons refreshing, he would help you in his spare time and it surprisingly helped him unwind.

You weren't a natural but your dedication was admirable, that was enough for Izzy at this point.

-

"Loverboy is at it again," Lucius came up behind you, making you jump a little.

"Huh? What?" you frowned, looking up from the knots you were tying in the rigging.

"Izzy is watching," Lucius said in a sign song voice. You glanced over the deck to see that Izzy was indeed looking over in your direction, turning away when you met his gaze. "You know that he's all soft on you, right? Like, it's really kinda weird," the scribe commented, turning his nose up slightly.

"Yeah, I know," you nodded, turning back to the task at hand.

"So?" Lucius encouraged, leaning into you.

"So?" you repeated, smiling a little to yourself in amusement.

"I mean I'd definitely sketch him if he accepted the offer but he doesn't really seem like relationship material," you weren't sure which direction Lucius was trying to nudge you, or if he was just looking for something to entertain himself. It had been a slow day, in his defence.

"I don't know what I'm going to do about it yet," you admitted.

"What are your options?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"I mean, I'd like to give him a chance but he's so..."

"Izzy?" Lucius finished for you with a nod of understanding.

"Yeah!" you sighed, finishing your final not and leaning back against the railing. "He's so difficult. I know he's interested in me but he's still all weird about it, like...he's not even that friendly? I don't even know if he's trying to be friendly or not. And he's such a dick to the others," you complained.

"So, if he were to pursue you properly, you'd give it a shot?" Lucius questioned.

"Yeah, definitely. There has to be a softer side to him, right?" you looked to the scribe for some sort of back up that you were right.

"You always see the best in people. Even when it doesn't exist," he reminded you, a sympathetic but fond look on his face.

"I think it exists. Come on, I'm a terrible pirate. If he holds any fondness for me, he can't be all that awful," you pointed out, that had to be something!

"...I suppose that makes some sort of sense," Lucius had to agree before reminding you that, "you'll have to make the move though."

"I know that. Just don't want him to get all defensive or anything," you pondered your options, wondering if Lucius would give his input.

"I doubt the stress is worth it," Lucius shrugged, giving your shoulder a small squeeze.

"I dunno...I'll think about it," you smiled, pushing it to the back of your mind for now. You had time to consider what you would do.

-

Eating supper with the crew in the galley wasn't Izzy's favourite way to take his meals but this evening he was enduring. He was perched at the end of the bench, putting a small distance between himself and the others, keeping out of their discussions.

You thanked Roach for your serving and turned to the bench. You were the last to come and get your supper, so the bench was early full. There were two places you could sit. Between Frenchie and the Swede, or beside Izzy.

You had an option, and when Izzy took note of you collecting your rations, he just assumed you would take the seat at the other end of the table. You didn't.

"Hey, Iz," you smiled kindly as you sat down beside him.

He eyed you for a moment, as if suspicious of you, before just nodding his greeting. You didn't push him for anything more, busying yourself with peeling your orange and tearing it in half.

"Here," you got his attention again, holding out one half of your orange for him to take.

"I don't need your leftovers," Izzy muttered, eating a spoonful of stew.

"They're not my leftovers, I haven't even started eating yet," you pointed out. "I just noticed that you don't have an orange. I assume your risking scurvy because we're running low on our citrus rations but we're heading for St Augustine so I don't understand why you're doing that," you observed, and Izzy didn't like that.

"Maybe I just didn't want an orange," Izzy huffed, feeling like you had looked through him too easily. He didn't like feeling that predictable, even if he was.

"I know you're not going to admit you're wrong and get your own, so you can have half of mine," you insisted, still holding the half an orange out.

"Fuck off," he rolled his eyes but he knew he would have to give in soon otherwise risk causing a scene and getting the others involved.

"I insist," you placed it in front of him, not even giving him the choice anymore. "It will be refreshing after your stew," you told him.

"You're insufferable," Izzy conceded, accepting the damn orange.

"But you're still sitting here and you've accepted the orange," you claimed your victory with a smile, while Izzy scowled and blushed down at his supper.

It was after supper that you found Lucius up on the deck, finding some peace and quiet to finish up a sketch he had been working on.

"I'm going to give it a proper try," you announced, looking down at where the man was sitting.

"What? Wait, the Dizzy thing?" Lucius asked, looking up from his sketchbook.

"Don't call him that," you sighed, beginning to pace back and forth in front of the scribe.

"He's a prick," Lucius reminded you with a straight face.

"I know," you groaned. "I don't know, I just feel like I'm getting to see another side of him, a glimpse, just like...the tip of the iceberg, y'know?" you tried to explain.

Lucius watched you sympathetically as you paced, gently closing his sketchbook. "Oh, you're down bad."

"I am not," you denied, rolling your eyes.

"I think you might be," Lucius shrugged and you knew that he was right, even if you didn't really want to admit it.

"Whatever," you sighed, coming to a halt in front of the scribe.

"You got a plan?" he asked.

"...kinda?" you considered for a moment before deciding to share it with him, "we're stopping at port next week, hopefully he'll take some shore leave. You know, spend some time together off of the ship. It could help him relax. Not planning on anything specific, just whatever I can get Izzy to agree too."

"Normally I would warn you to not get stabbed but, weirdly enough, I don't think he would even attempt it," Lucius confessed. "He couldn't be more obvious about his pining," at least it had provided him some amusement over the last few weeks.

"So...if he gives you some chores to do before leaving for the day...just do it, yeah? For me?" you asked with a small pout, batting your lashes at him. "It would be best if he wasn't in a terrible mood."

"I promise nothing," Lucius grumbled.

"Thanks, Lucius. Love you!" you flashed him a thankful smile and blew him a kiss before leaving him to his sketching.

-

The day that the ship stopped at port, you turned down all the offers to go drinking with the crew before they all filed off of the ship. Instead, you waited until you saw Izzy leaving the ship (thankful that he even did).

When you saw him disembarking, you waited a moment so that it wasn't too obvious that you had been waiting for him. Then you left the ship and broke into a light jog to catch up with him.

"Hey, Iz, got any plans?" you asked, coming up by his side and matching his pace.

Izzy looked at you for a moment out the corner of his eye and sighed. "Got some business to take care of," he told you, assuming that would make you groan and hurry off. That's how most of the crew reacted to the idea of work.

"Mind if I tag along?" why did you never react the way he thinks you will?

"Wouldn't you rather be...doing whatever the crew is doing?" Izzy asked, squinting at you.

"Nah, they're probably just spending all their coin on drink. I can do that with them another time," you laughed a little. "So, can I tag along? I'll stay out of the way, I promise."

Izzy looked at you again, like he was assessing you. "Yeah, yeah, alright. Just don't cause any trouble," he gave you a firm nod.

"You have my word," you promised.

You followed Izzy around the port that he obviously seemed familiar with, asking questions between meetings with various people. He told you a little bit about the port, how this was one of the safer ports for pirates and for Blackbeard's flag. He had even told you a story about coming here years ago with Edward and somebody called Jack.

Izzy wasn't a talkative person, at least not when it came to personal matters, so you listened to every word and cherished the slightly more relaxed state he was in.

The two of you came out from another random building after speaking with somebody you didn't know, but somebody Izzy had clearly met before.

"That was my last meeting, you can go drink with the crew now if you like," Izzy informed you. He didn't know why you would want to tag along while he worked but he figured you wouldn't want to hang around him for much longer.

"Are you stopping for a drink?" you asked.

"No, going back to the ship. Somebody has to make sure it's in decent shape."

"Well, will you come and have a drink with me? Just one drink, to celebrate a job well done. The rest of the crew doesn't have to be there."

Izzy frowned a little as he turned to you fully. Why did you have to be so difficult for him to understand. "...why?"

"Like I said, celebrating a job well done," you repeated, even though you very clearly had ulterior motives. "What? Can I not want to share a drink with you?"

"Fine, whatever. But a different tavern than the crew," Izzy begrudgingly agreed but it made you smile. You knew that he wouldn't give in so easily to another member of the crew.

"Shouldn't be too difficult!" you assured him cheerfully.

The two of you easily found a pub that the crew hadn't gathered in and headed to the bar to get your drinks.

Izzy sat beside you at the bar, his head down and swirling his drink around in his glass.

"Penny for your thoughts," you broke the silence.

"Haven't got any," Izzy mumbled, taking a sip of his dark drink.

"Well that's a bold face lie. I think you've got more thoughts than any of us," you mused. Whenever you looked at that man you could see the thoughts rolling around in his head.

"That's not saying much," Izzy shrugged slightly.

You laughed a little, nudging his shoulder with your own. You didn't think he meant any real harm by it and you appreciated that he was joking with you to some extent.

"I mean it. You always look like...like there's so much going on in your head. It must be tiring," you told him sincerely, not a trace of mockery in your voice. Once again, Izzy just looked at you, clearly in thought. "See, I can practically hear all those thoughts swirling around. It's practically deafening," you teased fondly.

Izzy tore his gaze away, staring back down at his glass. "Bonnet's a shit pirate and a shit captain. He pays a salary with money he inherited, he's not actually making a profit, we don't raid enough. The crew is insane, it's a miracle the ship is still above the waves," he said.

"That's what you're always thinking about?" you asked with a small frown.

"It's part of it," he shrugged, sipping from his glass. "Can't wrap my head around the whole thing, if I'm being honest. Doesn't make any sense," he confessed.

"Stede is...yeah, he doesn't know how to be a pirate, but he's trying to do right by all of us. In a way we're lucky to have signed on with him rather than anyone else," you defended your captain. All of you knew he didn't know how to be a pirate or what to expect once out at sea, but he was doing good by you all.

"You confuse the hell out of me," Izzy finished his drink and ordered another, like that would distract you from what he said.

"Me? Why?" you questioned, eyes widening slightly.

"You're so fucking...I don't even know. Nice?" Izzy's face scrunched up, and you weren't completely sure what that meant.

"Sorry, that must be terrible for you," you joked, playfully rolling your eyes at him.

"I'm an asshole. I know I am. I'm worse with Bonnet's lot because they don't fucking listen but I've always been a prick. Why the fuck do you have to be so polite about it?" he asked, looking to you like he was genuinely struggling to find a sensible answer.

"Nobody who gets into pirating has the easiest of lives. Some of us claw and scratch and kick to make sure we rise above it, don't let it drown us. Some of us let's it harden us, make sure it can't touch us anymore, keep ourselves safe," you said sombrely. "Life is full of cruelty, I refuse to contribute to it," you said it as if it was that simple, as if it were a choice.

Izzy watched you, like he seemed so fond of doing today, with unreadable thoughts rushing behind his eyes. He nodded tightly, knocking back his second drink as you finished your first.

"You want another or are you done?" Izzy asked, some sort of determination on his face.

"Uh, not much of a drinker," you shrugged, pushing your empty glass away.

"Alright. Let's go for a walk," Izzy cleared his throat and stood from the barstool.

"Yeah, that sounds nice," you smiled, standing with him.

Izzy muttered something under his breath, the two of you leaving the pub together. It had gotten dark out now, the moon rising in the sky. The two of you had kept busy all day.

You followed Izzy through the port, closer to his side than you had been earlier.

"What do you know about stars?" Izzy asked you out of nowhere.

"Uh...they're pretty?" your answer actually made Izzy laugh, and that put an idiotic grin on your face.

"Suppose they are," Izzy agreed. "C'mon," he nodded at you, leading you away from town.

You followed him down to the beach, curious but not speaking as he sat down in the sand. You just sat beside him.

Izzy pointed up at the sky, beginning to talk about the way the stars grouped together. And just like that Izzy Hands started giving you a lesson on the stars, how to navigate by them, and occasionally recalling a tale that his mother had told him about them.

He found that he liked the feeling of being listened too.

You would lean in, practically against him, to see which accumulation of stars he was pointing too. You would stare up at the sky with a smile as he explained how to follow the stars. You would watch his face intently when he talked about tales and fables that his mother had told him, the ones he could remember anyway, while he flushed under your undivided attention.

"What was your mother like?" you asked when he came to the end of his last story.

Izzy took a breath and tensed slightly, you just waited. Either he would answer or he wouldn't, you wouldn't push him. "She was...she was a good woman, deserved better than my father," was what he eventually told you.

"Do you remember her well?"

"Not well enough. Got on my first ship when I was about...twelve I think. Was the second youngest in a big family, just had to get out of there after she got sick," Izzy told you. You wondered how many people got to hear even the slightest thing about his mother, you wondered if he had told anyone else the fables she had shared with him.

"I'm sorry," you cautiously reached over and took his hand in yours, the one without a glove. Izzy tensed a little again but then relaxed, allowing it.

"What? You the one responsible for making people sick back in England decades ago?" Izzy asked sarcastically.

"It's just what people say," you huffed, pressing your shoulder against his. "I'm sorry you had to experience that."

Izzy just shrugged, unsure of what to say, and once again you didn't press.

Instead, you rested your head against his shoulder, your hand still in his. As you looked out at the inky water, admiring the way the moon and stars reflected in its surface, you felt Izzy turn his hand slightly so that he could lace his fingers through yours.

The moment of peace could only last a little longer before the sound of laughing and shouting disturbed you both.

"For fucks sake," Izzy cursed as you both turned towards the sound, seeing the crew drunkenly making their way along the beach. Probably planning a night time swim before turning in for the night.

"C'mon," you spoke quietly, tugging on Izzy's hand. "If we move now, they won't even notice we were here," you told him.

Izzy nodded, smiling a little as you both stood up. You led him in the opposite direction of the crew, his hand still in yours. Fingers still laced together.

"Should head back to the ship," Izzy removed his hand from yours as you stepped back into town, you tried not to let it sting a little.

"Yeah, sure, let's head back," you agreed and he just nodded.

The two of you returned to the ship and walked up onto the deck. "You sure you don't want to catch up with the crew?" Izzy asked, almost looking...apologetic? Like you would regret choosing to spend the day with him.

"Nah. I'm going to get some sleep without their snoring," you assured him, making him chuckle a little, reminded of all the reasons he liked having his own cabin.

"Alright," Izzy nodded.

"I had a good time today, we should do it more often," you suggested. Izzy just nodded again, silently agreeing.

You smiled as you stepped up to him, kissing his cheek before wandering off to the bunks.

Izzy found himself frozen to the deck for a moment, stunned by your show of affection. Breaking out of his small trance, he cursed and shook his head at himself before marching down to his cabin.

-

The next day you were checking the storeroom to make sure that the crew got the right amount of supplies, since you were one of the few not nursing a hangover.

The sound of somebody entering the storeroom and closing the door made you turn around, growing suspicious at the sight of a smirking Lucius.

"How did it go?" he questioned.

"Good. Thank you for asking," you smiled sweetly, knowing what you were doing. Honestly, you should have expected the interrogation.

"Going to need more details than that," Lucius huffed impatiently before teasing, "was a little disappointed when we came back and you were asleep in the bunks."

"Lucius!" you laughed, slapping him on the chest before getting back to work.

"But it went well?" Lucius asked, sounding a little less playful this time.

"Yeah. We got some work done, went for a drink, sat on the beach," you told him with a soft smile, thinking back on the night.

"Huh, that's almost romantic," Lucius said approvingly.

"We were stargazing," you added.

"Oh now that is romantic! I'm proud of you," Lucius was grinning now. Fascinated by the thought of Izzy stargazing on a beach, being on a date.

The storeroom door opened again, making you both turn. "What the fuck are you two doing in here?" Izzy demanded, looking between you both.

"Double checking the supplies, like you asked," you answered, knowing he wasn't directing the question at you.

"Uh...helping?" Lucius tried.

"Fuck off, go do something useful," Izzy snapped, stepping out of the way of the door.

Lucius just nodded before slipping out of the storeroom. "That was almost polite for you," you teased as the door closed again.

"Blackbeard wants me to check in with an old contact before we leave. You coming?" Izzy asked dismissively.

You bit back an amused smile. He had come to ask you to join him, that was sweet. "Are you asking me to go with you?" you asked.

The two of you just stared at each other, each of you waiting for the other to surrender.

"Fine, yes," Izzy sighed, conceding first. "I'm asking. Do you want to come with me?"

"Yeah, I'd love too, Iz," you smiled, hoping to put any nerves or frustrations he had at ease.

"Finish up in here, meet me on deck," he nodded, reaching for the door.

"Iz, wait," you stepped forward, gently catching his wrist. Izzy looked back at you curiously, unable to question you before you lent in and pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Thanks for inviting me, I'll be up in a minute," you told him casually.

Izzy nodded dumbly, the corner of his mouth tingling, before he left the storeroom without a word.

You finished up checking the supplies, which were all correctly purchased, with a beaming smile on your face.

[youwouldntlietopapa]

Paperwork and Patience

Rating: 18+

Features: Copia x OC

Word count: 1078

Note: Romantic, slightly spicy, overtime in the office with Copia and Izzy.

____________________________________________________

“Almost finished.” Copia said gently. 

Izzy hummed her acknowledgement and kissed his neck, just below his ear. Her head rested on his shoulder, eyes heavy lidded. One arm wrapped around behind his back and the other on his other shoulder where she could comb her fingers through this thick brown hair, teasing the streaks of grey at his temples. Pressed up against his chest and focusing on him, and her own breathing. Slow and steady. In and out. Smiling to herself when she’d noticed that he was breathing with her. 

“No rush.” She kissed his warm skin again, breathing in the familiar smell of his cologne, coffee, leather, old books, and the cigarette he thought she didn’t know about. This was home. More than anywhere else in the world. Right there, with him, where she belonged. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

Copia’s hand rested on her lower back, holding her there with a soft, steady pressure. Grounding and comforting. His other hand, busy working through a stack of paperwork, all urgently needed according to everyone who had left the work to him. Izzy might have disagreed, but she wasn’t Sister or Bishop or anyone who had any say. All she could do, really, was be there with him. Make the tedium less oppressive. 

He let out a breathy moan and sparks crackled along all of her nerves, struggling to keep still. “Your fingers, amore… they will be the death of me.”

“Should I stop?” She asked with a smirk. 

The hand on her back pressed with ever so slightly more force. “Not for anything, Isobella.”

Her nose nuzzled against his jaw and he could feel her smile when her lips followed the same trail. His attention wandering from his work, Copia turned his head and buried his face in her hair. Giving himself a moment to lose himself in her. His Isobel. Letting himself focus on the feel of her there. Shifting just a little in his seat, answered by a soft whimper from her and a tighter hold. 

“Cope…” She breathed, hot breath against his neck. “The sooner you finish, the sooner we can get out of here.”

“Who says we leave here as soon as I am done this work?” There was mischief in his voice. 

Her teeth softly teased his earlobe. “Oh, is that how it is?” 

“You think I make it all the way to bed? I don’t even make it to the couch there.” He nodded to the old leather loveseat stuffed in the corner of his office. 

“My poor, sweet Copia.” Izzy’s fingers scratched over his scalp. “I would never torture you like that. Never.”

He was lost. He knew it. Well and truly lost. Only giving the last few papers before him a quick glance before deciding that nothing in the world was that important. Her nails sent a shiver down his spine and his name on her lips. Lucifer be merciful… It was so much more than that. Had there ever been anyone so much a part of his own soul? Anyone he could be so open with? That he could share this intimacy with and know, completely, that he was as safe and loved as she was with him? 

“Only a few more papers.” She offered, trying to sound encouraging when all she really wanted was him. The rest could burn as far as she cared. 

“To hell with them.” His voice came out husky and desperate. “They wait for tomorrow or Bishop Robertson does his own shit work.” 

“Copia…” 

He couldn’t stop it. He wouldn’t have even if he could have. It was too much, hearing her say his name on the edge of whining, of begging. Copia’s cock kicked, buried deep inside her, and Izzy’s moan came as an immediate response. All of her resolve to hold still, to wait, to breathe and stay calm cracked and started to crumble. Straddling his lap and ignoring the pins and needles in her feet while her knees hugged his hips. Already anticipating the rugburn the scratchy red wool of his cassock will leave. Clenching around him, making him gasp, dropping his forehead to her shoulder. His hands flying to her hips and gripping her tightly. Keeping her still just a little longer. 

Copia lifted his head and she cupped his face in her hands, kissing him deeply. Breathing with him.Tasting the familiar, bitter paint on his upper lip as her tongue rolled against his. Pressing her forehead against his and staring back into his mismatched eyes. 

“I love you, Cope. With all my heart. With everything I am.”

His grip on her hips softened, not wanting to hold back any more. 

“I love you, Izzy. More than life itself.”

She lifted her hips slowly, smiling when his breath caught in his throat. Moaning deeply, shamelessly, as she settled back down onto him. Following the urging of his hands and riding him, unhurried, letting the rest of the world fall away. All there was, all there needed to be, was him. And he stared back at her with an intensity that set fire to her soul.

Already worked up, it was never going to last long. They both knew and neither cared. The build up, the closeness, and the intimacy were the point. The release was only the conclusion. The first of the evening. 

His fingers digging into her hips and her hands in his hair. Pressed so close they felt like one. Breathing hard and heavy. The deep, guttural sound muffled by her shoulder as he pulled her down hard on himself, kicking, and the warmth of him spreading inside her. Dragging her over the edge with him. His name dripping from her lips obscenely. 

Izzy hissed. Her whine turning half into a sob when he pulled himself free. The loss of him ached, his seed and her own slick trickling down her thighs. She fell back against his chest, limp and trying to calm her heart. Shaking while the tension and effort slipped away. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly against the pounding of his own heart. Combing back her hair. 

For a long moment they sat in silence. Izzy finally moving to kiss his neck, along his jaw. 

“I think your cassock may need cleaning.” She smiled almost drunkenly. 

Copia snorted and kissed her. “I tell them to burn it if they want. I need this more than any cassock in the entire Ministry.”

[blizzardsuplex]

“like watching art in motion” (an essay on ZSJ and wrestling)

CW: discussions of gatekeeping

I didn’t have internet for over three days, and so in my total boredom I opened up my Microsoft Word and began tinkering with a “casual essay” on my favorite wrestler, Zack Sabre Jr. But I can’t talk about Zack without talking about how I feel about and my experiences with pro wrestling as a whole, so over 3.2k words later, here we are.

(I didn’t mean it to get so long...nor, in truth, get so personal. I’ve been carrying this with me for a long time, though, so I guess it had to come out eventually. Things like that always do.)

Title from a comment I saw on Reddit about Zack in 2016. Content under the cut. Special thanks to @heartsinablender/Izzy, who encouraged me to write and eventually post this in semi-public. :)

~~~~

My absolute earliest memories of professional wrestling are of reading next to my favorite uncle while he watched early to mid-2000s era Smackdown on one of those old, boxy TVs, but my first formative memory related to it is talking to one of my classmates, an enthusiastic prowres fan in the way children can be, on the stands by the soccer field during P.E. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but eventually (as it usually did) it landed on the object of his interest.

“I watch wrestling, sometimes,” I threw out, having at that point probably paid attention to a grand total of less than an hour of WWE. His eyes grew wide, then narrowed.

“Yeah?” he said. “Name ten wrestlers.”

He’d said it in a way that felt final, like he was sure that I wouldn’t be able to answer his challenge. It lit a fire under me, and I said “The Undertaker” as quick as a slap. He was unfazed, however, and all too soon I faltered: “The Great Khali, John Cena, Triple H, Booker T…uh. The Great Khali—“

“You said him twice,” my classmate said smugly. He turned away from me, back to the soccer game.

I don’t remember what I replied to the side of his face or what I did immediately after; it didn’t matter. I’d already failed the test, and no matter how biased its giver was, the fact I’d proven him right sucked.

~~~~

This is an essay about how I feel about the professional wrestler Zack Sabre Jr. This is also, if the above hasn’t clued you in, an essay about my personal history and relationship with professional wrestling. These ideas are not only closely related but intertwined, two vines. As with anything alive, both have their periods of growth and withering, fecundity and barrenness, somewhat independent of each other but in the end—as with any ecosystem—affecting the very same, sometimes in dramatic ways.

But even the strongest vines need something to wrap around if they ever hope to reach the sun. Where did these find their base?—my very body, frail as it is compared to the kinds of people who take up the path of the wrestler. That’s the funny thing about entertainment, I’ve found: the people you watch, whether on stage or in ring or on a screen, seem like invincible titans…as long as you’re watching them. The minute you turn your eyes away, they start to wilt; when you turn your back, they wither. With enough lack of care (in every sense), anyone could tear off the leaves and stems and just leave.

I could leave. I’ve almost left. Certainly I’ve drifted away from it on occasion. But so far I’ve always come back, or maybe more precisely I’ve let those vines wind and wind and wind ‘round me again, and more often than not ZSJ—what he represents to my conception of wrestling—is to blame.

~~~~

After I had tried and failed at the task of naming ten wrestlers, I remember feeling embarrassed. Now—though for a completely different reason—I feel outright ashamed. Now, I know too intimately what eight-year-old me could only barely comprehend: why he had issued that challenge in the first place. I was a girl, and I was an unathletic twig, and I was the most bookish of nerds, and while one or even two of those traits might have been acceptable in a “real fan”…all three of those things? Never. A classic example of gatekeeping—and for a while mentally that one interaction was successful at keeping me out.

But at the time it was “just” embarrassment, and as much as I hate to admit it that feeling followed me even after I began actually watching WWE with my uncle and cousin. Dipping your toes into any new activity or hobby, especially one with the amount of layers pro wrestling does, is daunting enough without the constant fear of somehow being discovered and kicked out of that space before my time, though of course my family wouldn’t do that—or, worse, laughed at, which they might’ve. The fact that my cousin was a year younger than me but, at least at first, knew more than I did didn’t really help: she never gatekept, but how she took every chair shot and dick kick we watched in stride (it was during Christian’s feud with Randy Orton) while I was left scratching my head a bit made me feel, as with my classmate, like a poser.

Well, I didn’t want to be a poser anymore, so I went to that great well of information: the internet. Specifically, I went on TV Tropes (yeah, I know) and read the pages on professional wrestling and WWE; while I was aware that there were other promotions, especially after reading the former—I remember the promotion name Ring of Honor getting a cool! from me—I wasn’t interested in anything but the “basics” at that point. What was a heel, a face, a tweener? What did it mean when someone did a shoot on another? What even was the Attitude Era, and why did people like it so much (a question that to this day I’m not sure I can answer)?

I got those down in a reasonable amount of time. Then, something interesting began to happen: I felt compelled to keep reading more about it. I honestly don’t remember the specifics—which names, memes, and tragedies (always in a WWF/WWE context) my brain absorbed like a sponge. All I know is that, after a couple of months, I ended up quite a bit like a smark. So I did get what I wanted: no longer did I feel like a fake fan, even if it came at the cost of somewhat alienating my cousin (who was beginning to lose interest in wrestling) and my uncle.

That wasn’t the most interesting thing I got out of my wiki walking days, though. Because of my (in truth middling-depth) dive into (a very narrow slice of) the prowres ocean, 12 to 13-year-old me thought I had figured this whole professional wrestling thing out: it was bright, it was flashy, it was written like a soap opera. It was entertaining, sometimes off of sheer cringe-inducing antics and sometimes out of sheer spectacle. What counted as spectacle, meanwhile?—the flippiest of flips, dramatic kickouts, muscled people billed at two whole feet taller than me hollering at each other in the ring. It was violent (but not too much, for the sponsors’ sake) and it was slickly produced and it had the best kind of nonsensical internal logic.

Of course, that is what wrestling is…sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that, or anything wrong with watching wrestling like that, either. My mistake as a child was putting it in a box, thinking that everything I just said was everything it could and can be. I was lukewarm on the idea of prowres presented more sport-like, didn’t know how it could be entertaining without a writer’s room’s worth of storylines. As for pro wrestling being art, or even just beautiful—those two concepts seemed so far apart that to use the word never even crossed my mind.

~~~~

So stayed my thoughts on it until, when I was maybe 13 or 14, I fell head-first into hipsterdom (in the “wanting to like things before they were cool” sense). It happened with music, it happened with video games, and it happened with wrestling. Though I still watched WWE, I began to look beyond its borders—which is to say I began paying attention to trope examples by wrestlers I wasn’t familiar with. Those entries, along with a few well-placed links to 240p YouTube videos, were how I found my first favorite wrestler…who was, of all people, Chuck Taylor (who I still love, don’t get me wrong).

But wrestling news moves fast—even faster than the editors at early 2010s TV Tropes, and especially those editors who cared about keeping an independent wrestler’s page up to date. I knew that, if I wanted to know more about Chuckie T and his Gentleman’s Club, I would have to look elsewhere.

I found two places: a wrestling forum literally just called Wrestling Forum, and a newish subreddit called /r/squaredcircle. I proceeded to lurk on both, but it was on Reddit a year or so later that I found the post that ended up being the catalyst for my wrestling fandom from that point forward—a mention that Chuck Taylor wrestled at this supposedly really cool promotion called Pro Wrestling Guerrilla during their yearly Battle of Los Angeles, and that the footage of that show was finally out.

I don’t know when I found the time to look for it. When I think back to that Saturday afternoon, navigating with no adblock to a sketchy wrestling stream archive on a desktop already considered ancient, all I remember is how curious I was when—after giving it a couple of minutes to buffer—I finally pressed play.

~~~~

The match, if you want to find it yourself, is the Friends of Low Moral Fiber (Kenny Omega, Chuck Taylor, and Zack Sabre Jr.) versus the Young Bucks and Adam Cole from BOLA 2014 Night 1. Back then, every single one of those names were established or rising players in the independent scene; now, of course, they’ve all been in multiple top-level promotions around the world. For this and several other reasons, I haven’t been able to watch that contest back before, just last year, I found it in its entirety on YouTube. The channel quickly got taken down, but not before I snagged a copy for myself; in fact, I made the effort to get it as soon as I saw it was the real deal. As someone once told me, pro wrestling is one of the most ephemeral of entertainment forms—and also I don’t have the money for both a DVD player and to ship from the US to watch it legitimately.

But I wasn’t thinking about that when I was 14 or 15 years old. At the time, the only person I really knew or cared about in that match was Chuck, and so as the introductions happened I eagerly awaited his time in the ring (even back then, I held the opinion that he was an underrated worker). Instead, his team first fielded the skinny man with the Union Jack jacket, the one who’d gotten right into the other side’s faces. Zack Sabre Jr., I recalled as everyone got into their corners. A cool name, if a little overwrought.

The bell rang. Twenty-four minutes later, I paused the video and spent hours searching that “overwrought” name everywhere, looking for more clips of him, more discussion on him—more of his wrestling.

~~~~

What can I say about Zack Sabre Jr. in the context of wrestling that probably hasn’t already been said a million times? He has an atypical build for a wrestler, especially before his recent bulk up: tall but very lean—or outright skinny if you’re feeling uncharitable. His promo style is one I have seen called “extremely British” and “hilariously unhinged” (which, considering everything happening in the UK, maybe mean the same thing). He has some pretty sick taste in indie entrance themes. And, of course, he is considered one of the best technical wrestlers in the world—maybe of all time, and certainly in this generation.

To me, though, he is (simply, encompassingly) my favorite wrestler, and upon watching that BOLA match back it isn’t necessarily because I was wowed by the smoothness of his technique (though I was) or impressed by his underrated speed (though I was) or even in awe of his flexibility (though I definitely was—and here I shout out Adam Cole for helping make Zack’s first in-ring impression such a memorable one). No; it was because, for the very first time, I realized professional wrestling wasn’t cut and dry, contained within the box I had tried to place it in.

Read what I described my younger self’s conception of prowres to be…or, if you prefer, think back to the height of PG era WWE. To my mind, wrestling was supposed to almost overwhelm, saturate the senses. Wrestling was bright, flashy, melodramatic, violent—loud.

The footage I watched that day was loud, too; even through the shitty speakers and video quality, it was clear that the Reseda faithful knew how to have a good fucking time. But whenever Zack was in the ring, it was quiet—sometimes literally, but I more mean in movement, in intent. He convinced me from the first lock up that he was absolutely focused on how he could twist his body and how he could turn his opponent’s, that he aware of and could manipulate every single joint and muscle and ligament offered to him. He convinced me that it was, at that moment, all he cared about. It was still violence, of course; all his graceful movements were in service of hurting another. But it was an elegant violence, a quiet violence.

Pro wrestling, the profession of machismo and posturing, could be quiet. Who knew? Before I saw Zack wrestle, I didn’t, and nor did I ever consider the logical question to ask after: if it could be quiet—the complete opposite of what I thought it was—what else was it? What else might it become?

Beautiful, maybe?

I didn’t know then and I don’t know now. Whether wrestling is art is a discussion I leave to people with far more time and far more knowledge of aesthetics than I do. What I do know is this: I not only put it in the wrong box, I was wrong to put it in a box. Professional wrestling is no dead thing, no solved problem—it was, and is, alive, and at its best exists as a creative medium with so many possibilities. Sure, we all have our preferences, and prowres has space for loudness, almost deafening; but it has space for the quiet as well.

~~~~

It would be one thing if ZSJ was a flash in the pan, someone who rose in the business just far enough to get a handful of PWG bookings before fizzling out. If that were the case, I suppose I could expound on the point about prowres being ephemeral, say something that would amount to “the world may have moved on from him, but I’ll never forget how he opened my eyes all those years ago”. But that would be both extremely disingenuous and, to be honest, make a worse narrative. That one match made me understand wrestling more; following Zack’s career afterwards made me love it.

A not insignificant part to this is the fact I hitched my cart to a damn good horse—if Zack was good in 2014, he got even better as the years went by. While he was always a joy to see work, once he improved at selling in particular (which I never thought he was horrible at, mind, but watching early tapes back you can tell the difference), his matches went from baseline good to great; who doesn’t enjoy watching ZSJ crumple and ragdoll around the ring these days? Yet another big reason I am genuinely grateful for his wrestling is far beyond him: ZSJ was my passport to the rest of the wrestling world. Through him, I discovered so many promotions, so many other amazing wrestlers. There was PWG, of course—tying Mike Bailey into knots in the finals of a BOLA, making Chris Hero’s finger bleed, going to war with Roderick Strong over the belt. There was him countering Will Ospreay’s top rope move into a triangle choke that one Wrestlemania weekend. It was him who put me on to European wrestling, with WxW and RevPro and everyone else. His fight with Negro Casas was the first time I’d seen a mat-based lucha match. And, of course, without him I wouldn’t have started watching New Japan, and without New Japan I would’ve never seen any of the amazing people that make up the puro and/or joshi scene.

I always, always come back to Zack himself, though, it’s true. And maybe, some might suggest, it’s at least partly out of a mix of nostalgia and novelty—he was the first wrestler I paid attention to that looked different and wrestled different from what I considered the norm. When I’m put in a hyperfocused trance by the quiet of his matches, past and present, perhaps it’s just my subconscious, somehow, paying respect to how he made that young teen feel.

My answer to that is…well, maybe a little. But ZSJ doesn’t coast by on that alone—he is continually improving, continually striving to improve, and I couldn’t be happier that he’s getting his due. And, like with professional wrestling itself, I find happiness in that match from 2014 (almost a decade ago, now!) not only out of a sense of nostalgia, or even its own sake, but because it’s proof of what Zack Sabre Jr. was and has now become.

~~~~

A trio of ZSJ-related anecdotes to round things off:

1.) When I was in late high school, I did a school project on professional wrestling. The local guy I interviewed was honestly pretty gracious, but something he said nagged at me. “Pro wrestling,” he tried to explain to me, even before I said anything about what I watched, “isn’t just like WWE.” I know, I wanted to reply. My favorite wrestler is Zack Sabre Jr. I watch mostly American indies. Why are you assuming that I don’t know that?—but it would have come across indignant, and so I held my tongue.

2.) A few months later, I wrote a post on Facebook on why I liked pro wrestling, inspired by my discovery of Barthes’ essay on it in his Mythologies. My old classmate, the one who gatekept me when we were both eight, saw it—and he not only liked it, not only commented positively on it, but even DMed me. “Who’s your favorite wrestler?” he asked me. “Zack Sabre Jr.,” I said. He then proceeded to approve, saying that he was great in the Cruiserweight Classic; he was then surprised when I said I’d been following his career for a while even before that.

3.) When my older sister and I were in the women’s section of the Tokyo Dome during Wrestle Kingdom 14 Night 1, we ended up sitting next to and chatting with an Australian lady who got into NJPW because of her boyfriend (they both really liked Ospreay). When ZSJ came down to the ring, I heard her say encouragingly to me “that’s your Zack”. I’m not sure if I’d ever say he’s mine, but that was the night, maybe even the moment, that the very beginnings of this essay were born: when I realized how much he’d influenced at least this part of my life. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to jump down fifteen rows of seats and shake his hand, tell him even a little what his performances meant to me.

But that was not the time for that; three years later I still haven’t found the time for it, living where I do. Instead, I ended up, and end up, just sitting in my chair, screaming wordlessly at the top of my lungs, and watching him wrestle.

[naranjapetrificada]

Consider this your opportunity to be an Astrology Bitch and go off about Leo Stede!

(signed, a Virgo sun, Cancer moon, Capricorn rising who simultaneously is and is not an Astrology Bitch, more of a Tarot Bitch tbh)

Okay! You asked for it lol.

I should start by saying that I'm an August Leo sun. Stede is a July Leo, as confirmed by the show:

July Leos are...different somehow? It's not a bad thing and it's not their fault, and if anybody else comes for them we August Leo's will throw down for our siblings, but there's something about the vibes! Maybe it's the Cancer proximity, idk. If anything my anecdata suggests that they're more well adjusted than the rest of us. 🦁❤️🦁

Anyway, I immediately sat up and noticed when they cut to the gravestones because it's second nature for me as an Astrology Gay. Obviously I didn't know Stede at the time and I don't actually know what went down as the character was developed, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if I learned that at least one person in the writers room was a fellow Astrology Gay.

So I completely forgot about his birthdate because a) ADHD and b) swooniest romance I'd ever seen, but I started thinking about it again when I showed up like a year late to the fandom and saw people talk about whether they were Ed coded or Stede coded. I am heavily, heavily Stede coded for neurodivergent reasons, but he also exhibits certain Very Leo traits that I recognized immediately.

Leo stereotypes:

Let's get the stereotypes out of the way because while they do apply sometimes (especially for Stede), there's no need to rehash them in detail.

Leadership, which he struggles with at first but a) takes up the mantle of it anyway and b) improves enough that by the end of the season the crew that wanted to mutiny saves his life.

Good hair. Nuff said.

The man has an auxiliary wardrobe for fucks sake.

His "theatrical instincts are finely honed" and while Izzy says it to encourage the fuckery, it's not a lie.

The Revenge

If an 18th century Leo was going to custom build a pirate ship and money was no object, they would 1000% build the Revenge. I could see arguing that a Taurus might build something similar, but honestly I'm not sure a Taurus would become a pirate by choice. Maybe a Taurus might build like, a pleasure yacht or something. A Libra might build a ship that's as good-looking as the Revenge but sharing expensive tastes isn't enough to convince me either. Stede's money allowed him to build and decorate luxuriously, but plenty of rich people used to comfort didn't have ships like the Revenge. As Nigel says during his tour, it's just so incredibly him.

Now for some feelings stuff:

Leos love it when other people are happy, and when we can be involved in fostering that at all for people we care about we are ON IT. Stede wants to create space for others to get what they need to make that happen. Literally in the first episode he talks about the Revenge as somewhere for his crew to work on their trauma and communicate their feelings.

The above is also an extension of Stede's instinctive generosity. Canon doesn't tell us where Ed got his clothes for the French boat party in episode 5, but given that Stede has an auxiliary wardrobe (which he shared with Ed almost immediately) the most likely scenario seems like he loaned (or maybe even gave!) it to Ed. Another possibility is that it was on the ship where Frenchie found his and Oluwande's outfits, but the purple jacket in particular seems very extra in a way that says "Stede" to me.

Speaking of episode 5, let's talk about the party game. Obviously the main takeaway is that Stede has enough of a handle on passive aggression to make the French assholes tear each other apart, but it's not just the passive aggression, it's in the delivery. With sufficient motivation (Ed's hurt feelings, if not his own) we see Stede command the room with confidence. He chooses his targets well. He knows just what to say to get them to agree to play the game at all. The fire wasn't part of the original plan but it shows just how powerful those hard-won skills are when he wants to apply them. (This doesn't feel like it merits its own bullet point but Leos are protective, ride-or-die friends, something else we see in this episode.)

Stede's love language, imo, is quality time. There are arguments for others (there's also a really good meta about his love language causing miscommunication with our touchy-feely boy Ed, if I can find the link I'll edit) but quality time seems the most appropriate to me. Another part of the whole generosity of spirit thing is that he seems to enjoy what a friend of mine called "engineering experiences" for people i.e. crafting activities and jam sessions for the crew. The most obvious of these is the treasure hunt for Ed, which of course comes out of his fear of Ed leaving, but it's also a way for them to spend time together. I'm not at all surprised that a lonely, bullied kid would grow up to value quality time.

I would also extend this to the clearly routine (but still extravagant) breakfast for two that we see Calico Jack crashing in episode 8. Not to mention the first breakfast he and Ed ever share up on the maintop in episode 4. It's not fancy, but he wakes Ed up to share in that moment because he's enjoying the sunrise and the marmalade, and I can't think of anything more Leo than enjoying something then immediately wanting to share it because someone else might enjoy it too.

Stede's not perfect of course, despite all those seemingly positive things I just said. In the way of some Leos he is frequently thoughtless, up to and including when he didn't make to the dock. I can't speak for every Leo but I have definitely accidentally flirted with/been read as flirting with people before, whether I was attracted to them or not. And yeah his quarters are nice but he could have used some of that space for more crew quarters, right? And how could a Leo possibly misread "what makes Ed happy is you" as badly as he did?

Well I may be an Astrology Binch but I mostly like it (and anything else that puts personalities into discrete groups) as an analysis tool. It's just a fun lens to examine behaviors through, IRL and with fictional characters. Also, the show is clearly trying to examine things like trauma and self-loathing in ways that are gonna inform character behavior way more than a hypothetical astrology enthusiast in the (admittedly pretty queer) writers room. But the vibes? The vibes are so there.

[haywire-hetfield]

hello ! how are you ? :)

i was thinking bottom izzy x top duff with 9 ?

I'm good, thank you!

Send me a number along with a pairing (or leave it to dealers choice) and I'll write you a snippet (500 words or less)

9) "Let them hear you. I want them to."

Izzy’s stomach was tight, heat coiling deep in his gut as Duff rocked into him. They’d managed to sneak off to one of the bedrooms in their house and he honestly couldn’t even remember whose home they were in. It didn’t matter much, though. All he could focus on was how good Duff felt inside of him, long and thick enough to stretch Izzy open without hurting him. 

“Faster,” Izzy encouraged. Each thrust right now was long and deep, although he was going relatively slow. Duff nodded behind him, pushing him harder against the wall and using the added leverage to move quicker. Izzy’s breath caught in his throat as Duff picked up his pace, rubbing along his prostate with every movement. “Yes, fuck. Just like that,” He murmured, voice shaking with every thrust. 

Duff slid his hands away from his waist, resting them on the wall instead. It allowed him to press closer to Izzy’s back, managing to thrust deeper into him. He rested his head on Izzy’s shoulder and Izzy smiled, listening to how hard Duff was breathing. He’d occasionally let out a small whimper or moan, close to Izzy’s ear now. 

They could hear people moving around the rest of the house, laughing and carrying on. Izzy was suddenly reminded of just how packed the house was, so many people so close to them and only separated by a few thin walls. Duff shoved harder into him, drawing out a low whine. Izzy felt a tad embarrassed by the noise, not because of Duff, but because he worried someone else might have heard them. Hopefully, the music and laughter would drown out any sounds that might make their way through the walls. 

“You sound so pretty,” Duff praised, kissing the side of Izzy’s throat as much as he could. “You can be louder for me, can’t you? Let them hear you. I want them to,” Duff murmured to him and Izzy was surprised by the words, unaware that this was something Duff had a kink for. Maybe it was something Duff hadn’t even known about himself; either way, Izzy was happy to indulge him in it. 

It was shockingly easy to let himself grow louder. He’d expected there to be some nervousness about it that kept him from doing it at first, but with each thrust, he didn’t find it difficult to let out every sound that rose in his throat. Duff seemed to be encouraged by this, moving a bit faster and harder to try to draw out more noises. 

“Keep going. Please,” Izzy whispered, feeling himself getting closer with how well Duff was fucking him. It was Duff’s turn to whine, doing his best to follow the request. He’d never been quite so grateful for his stamina before. One of his hands found Izzy’s on the wall, holding onto him as they both chased their own pleasure. They’d have to explore this more often, both of them enjoying it far more than they’d ever anticipated.