#and that person would have been born outside of original sin

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

if people were fundamentally good, we would not need Christ

[taeloke]

Overanalyzing 4KOTA Chapter 142 instead of just waiting for more info (2/2)

Part 1

This is the part where I talk about King and no one else. Also, this is more ramble than analysis by the end, and I'm making myself not worry about length this time, so...you have been warned :) As for Mertyl, I'll definitely talk about him again over the next chapter, though I might not say as much as I did the first time.

Firstly, look at this face. Remember all those seasons ago, when everything was peaceful for like a single week? How sweet and thoughtful this little guy was, especially against his own personal wishes?

This is King--regardless of how he's like on the outside.

Elaine herself described him as someone who tries to act tough but is really a crybaby. He's someone who can't seem to stop wearing his heart on his sleeve. He always tries to hide his feelings to keep everyone else from worrying, but try as he might, anyone will see through his "tough act" if they're around him for long enough. Awakened or not, he's not King if he's not a highly emotional character like that. He's just a lot better at putting a cover over those feelings now. He's grown up for real.

If you read these last few 4KOTA chapters without remembering the original Seven Deadly Sins story, it only makes sense to look at him more like an ass of a father right now. There's a lot to his perspective that we just haven't gotten to witness yet, and one of the easiest conclusions to make from all of that unknown space is "King loves Nasiens more than the adopted son he raised." For crying out loud, he's giving an immensely scarce cure-all to a young man who introduced himself as a human without an explanation for why Myrtel hasn't received it yet. We don't even know for sure if he's tried using the Drug of Yore to treat Myrtel's condition in the past right now.

There's just one problem about that conclusion: King isn't like that at all. It only looks like he is because this family drama is fatally poisoned with tension and misunderstandings at this point. It's starting to explode.

Remember how way back in the series, King first thought Diane without her memories of him would be better off without him at all?

I think that's a lot similar to what he's thinking with Nasiens right now. If King didn't play a part in their present happiness, then what right does he have to want their love? He'd label that as too greedy or selfish in a way that he can't allow himself to be. He thinks he knows his place, and that place is somewhere forever distanced from his first-born kid.

But he can't just do nothing for Nasiens. Maybe just one totally subtle yet significant expression of love can slide, right? What could he, seemingly as nothing more than a ruler, possibly give to Nasiens to make him happy? Maybe if he gives Nasiens just one perfect gift, Harlequin will feel like he was good for his son at least once. He'll feel like he's finally atoned for losing Nasiens for too long and failing him as a father, and then he can let that "sin" go. Surely, Nasiens wouldn't be happy knowing the truth anyway. He'll be better off never learning about his true relations, since he's built his life without it already. Assuming that "logic" is what King's going through, a lot of his actions make sense to me.

And yet he still almost slipped up and spilled the beans.

Nice save, King, but if you gave Nasiens more time to think he would have realized what you really meant. Tioreh gave him time to realize she believed he's a fairy and his initial freeze then was the exact same.

None of this is easy for King. It isn't easy for any of them. In some ways, those past 2 years must have felt like forever to him. Precious time to have his first-born kid around that he'll never get back. And after 2 years of keeping distance...

"Sorry, I couldn't help but follow you."

"I just wanted to help you out, in any way I could."

King can't keep his distance anymore. His true feelings are starting to break free.

"Hee hee... Don't be shy, now. I just want to be of assistance."

Sure, King. Saying it like that totally doesn't make it sound like there's more to this, even with your confident/amused chuckle.

Of all the gifts he could give Nasiens, I'm sure King believed this was the one thing Nasiens couldn't refuse to accept from him. A powerful healing drug that he advertised as one-of-a-kind and a once-in-a-millennium opportunity. With it presented not only as that, but also as something that might bring Percival back, how could Nasiens reject such a gift? Right?

...And then Nasiens rejects the gift. Immediately, King gets so nervous that he breaks character.

He immediately started sweating too. King prepared everything up to this moment, and he has no excuse as Nasiens questions him and calls him out.

And Nasiens is right to call him out because of how this looks.

Nasiens, just like us, doesn't yet know what the truth here is. He's right to be suspicious and King needs to realize that plans in how the changeling duo is handled need to change right now. Ready or not--telling the truth is the only way to save what's actively starting to cave in.

But the sad thing is...I have a feeling that it's too late already.

Things are only going to get worse from here... I don't know how, and in a way that makes this feel more awful.

Sixtus should tell King that Mertyl saw him offer the Drug of Yore to Nasiens. There's no doubt in my mind that King will realize the problem once he has that information and try to do whatever he can to make things right. PLEASE don't make him too late again. At least give him a chance to talk to Mertyl before things fall apart if that's where all of this is headed.

[pinpinneon]

I composed an original song for Inv/Enot!

Just in time for christmas day, heck yeah!

Safe to say, this is by far THE most extensive solo project I've ever worked on! The song took over 30 hours to compose, and the visual assets for the video took me another 55 hours or so.

Add the video editing time into it, and the result is about 90 hours of worktime! This is a HUGE personal milestone for me, and I'm super proud of tackling it all by myself!

Even if it's not that impressive compared to other music videos that have much more professional editing and stuff, I consider this a huge step forward for me as someone who's practicing arts!

[LYRICS]

Ah, the sting of being rejected

Familiar, but always hurt

Brandishing a weak grin, I let myself sinned

Lying to my heart yet again

Ah, there I went yet again

Making a fool of myself

On the outside I smiled, a facade of guile

(But inside...)

Another day, another chance

Another fail that would haunt my mind tonight

Another try to hold back these tears of mine from falling

Seasons passed, everyone kept changing

Yet as they moved on to spring I lingered in this winter

Because I couldn't find the fabled sunlight that everyone else could see

Undeterred, I put on the mask

Played the goofy clown whenever someone glanced at me that day

Because a romantic like me could only dream of being beloved

Gray skies looming above my head

Even while I was indoors

And they never stopped engulfing me in

Their constant downpours and thunders

I laughed to fruitlessly deflect

Levity faked and unseen

Laying in my bed, a tear had been shed

(Did they even care...?)

Another dawn, another sigh

Another smile that did not quite reach my eyes

Another lie that I told myself to hang onto

Seasons passed, from spring to summer

Yet as the sun rose its light did not shine its warmth on me

Because it couldn't see my pitiful presence underneath the shadows

Autumn came, bringing gentle breezes

And I watched the leaves fluttering in the wind without an end

No set destination, no direction at all

(It made me...!)

Sitting there, contemplating thoughts of things that weren't meant to be

Wishing to escape this prison of desires

Reminiscing of the past

Losing myself in this maze filled with nostalgia

But before I could be driven past the point of no return

Something reminded me of the spark of life

Within my soul that revealed the path I once walked

The same one that I had grown too blind to see

Seasons passed, it's winter again

But unlike last time, a warmth in my heart kept me going

For once the sight of snow did not invoke dark thoughts born of loneliness

Gazing at the stars in the sky

Often made me cry, yet tonight I just sat there and smiled

Admiring the beauties, as something within me had changed

Seasons passed, everyone kept changing

And as they moved on to spring I merely followed along

No more being bound by chains, knowing that all my friends were waiting for me

Undeterred, I let myself go

Embracing the part of me that just wanted to be healed

So that someday I could have another attempt at being...

A Romantic~!

[gamer2002]

There is no Salvation outside of Christ – all religions agree

One of the dogmas of Christianity is that there is no Salvation outside of Christ, which is a bold claim. However, it is a claim that is consistent with the teachings of all other major religions. After all, no other offers Salvation on the terms and in the form that it is defined in Christianity.

The text below will present the definition of Salvation and its significance in Christianity. After that, I will show how it relates to other, both ancient and contemporary, religions.

Whoever believes in Him shall not perish

What Christianity changed in original Judaism is the introduction of Grace and Salvation. In the Old Law, sins were defined, as well as sacrifices and other actions that needed to be performed for these sins to be forgiven. In this respect, Judaism was not much different from other religions like that of ancient Egypt or those based on the concept of karma.

Christianity is different because all sins can be immediately forgiven if you believe that Jesus Christ died for them and you truly repent (J 3:16-17, Lk 18:9-14). Therefore, if you die in an accident a moment after you decide to repent, you will not be condemned. In old Judaism, if you die before making a sacrifice for your sins, you have a problem.

This is what Grace and Salvation are about. Sins and transgressions are forgiven, despite no equivalent action being performed. This is compared to the forgiveness of an unpaid debt (Mt 18:23-27).

Aside from how Grace affects your fate in the afterlife, it also has a salvific impact on society. In the old system, you can reach a point of no return, after which it is physically impossible to perform all the necessary actions for the forgiveness of your sins. This means reaching a state of certain condemnation, or at least the conviction of it. In this situation, a sinner, having nothing left to lose and nothing that can improve their state, is devoid of reasons to try to improve at all. They are left only with further sinning, further doing evil, to at least enjoy life while they can.

In Christianity, you can always convert and you can always obtain Salvation. Therefore, everyone has a reason and a source of motivation to improve, no matter how badly they acted in the past. And this is what Grace and Salvation in Christianity are about.

It should also be added about a different pathology originating from the other side. If one believes in some kind of balancing of good and bad deeds, a person who has done good deeds may consider that they can afford to do something bad. Such pathology has already been mentioned in the Old Testament (Ez 18:24)

As a side note, Salvation concerns receiving Eternal Life. The state of Sainthood is a separate issue about which I wrote in my previous text.

Weighting hearts and other karmatic things

When it comes to other religions, among those concerned with morality, they have their own systems for reconciling sin/karma/deeds. The Egyptians believed that after death your heart is weighed to determine whether good or bad deeds prevail. If your bad deeds weighed more, your heart would be devoured by Ammit. Salvation does not apply; you must ensure that your good deeds outweigh the bad.

In Zoroastrianism, the virgin-born Saoshyant will lead humanity to the final battle against evil, prevail, and make everyone immortal. This sounds similar to Christianity, but in this religion, salvation depends on the sum of thoughts, words, and deeds, which no holy intervention can change. In short, there is no Salvation in the Christian sense.

Hindu beliefs are diverse, but most believe in karma and reincarnation. If you live a holy life, after death your soul will merge with Brahma, breaking your cycle of reincarnation. If not, you will be reborn according to your karma. If you have done well in life, you may be reborn as a wealthy person. If you have done poorly, you may be reborn as an animal. Salvation does not apply; you must cleanse your own karma. And you must also do this for your previous lives. Apparently, if you are not born wealthy, you have little chance of uniting with the god Brahma.

Buddhism is similar to Hindu beliefs. Reincarnation depends on accumulated karma, and breaking the cycle of reincarnation is the reward for good karma. But there is no union with any god because Buddhists do not believe anything is eternal. Breaking the cycle of reincarnation means the end of your soul's existence, freeing you from the suffering of rebirth. There is no Salvation or even any form of Eternal Life.

The Japanese variant of Buddhism has the mythical Sanzu River, which functions similarly to the weighing of hearts in Egyptian mythology. In Shinto religion, there is a greater emphasis on earthly life than on life after death. The souls of the deceased can live after life as kami and look after their living loved ones, as long as they perform the proper post-mortem rituals and remember them. Exceptional individuals, like members of the imperial family, can achieve divinity after death. Kami do not necessarily have to be good, and the spirit world is neither a counterpart of Heaven nor Hell. Additionally, people who died a violent death, or for other reasons were overwhelmed with negative emotions at the time of death and did not receive proper post-mortem rituals, can become obake – revenge-seeking ghosts. So, there is no Salvation; the dead can become tormented ghosts if the living do not care for them.

Taoism has various versions that have different views on what happens after your death. Some believe in reincarnation, others in achieving post-mortem immortality. Zhuangzi, one of the two most important texts in Taoism, considers death a natural part of our existence, just like life, birth, and the state before all life. Generally, in Taoism, you should live a simple life, do what you are given to do, and as a result, you may receive eternity after death and the opportunity to help the living achieve your state. Additionally, there is also the concept of Cheng-Fu, which is similar to karma. It differs, however, in that you can struggle not only with bad Cheng-Fu from your previous lives but also with bad Cheng-Fu inherited from your ancestors and your society. Salvation is not available; you must work out good Cheng-Fu yourself.

In the case of Confucianism, Confucius said little about life after death, considering it, along with spirits and gods, too great an unknown. His philosophy focused on living decently in life, concluding that without mastering this, there would be no decent life after life. So, Confucius did not recognize the concept of Salvation, mainly because he claimed he could not know what awaits us after death.

Cults of material accomplishments

Besides religions focused on morality, one can also mention more primitive religions that ultimately did not stand the test of time. Here, we are talking about religions that justified the power of kings or other types of leaders. Ancient Egyptian religion also falls into this category, as the Pharaoh ruled over you because he was holy, and you knew he was holy because he ruled over you.

In Greek mythology, which was the religion of the one percent elite, most people went to Hades, while only those favored by the gods could find themselves in the Elysian Fields after death. There was no salvation, only favoritism by the gods.

As for Norse mythology, Vikings were afraid to die in their own beds. To get to Valhalla, they had to die in battle. There was no salvation; you had to go to death.

To sum it up

The idea of Salvation and Grace was introduced by Christ and is a unique element of Christianity. In other religions, at best, a system of weighing good and bad deeds is applied. However, this system is flawed, as it can lead to pathologies born from the belief in achieving a state of irrevocable damnation. It can also lead to pathologies born from the belief in having accumulated enough good deeds to afford to do evil.

In Christianity, you can always convert if you believe that Christ died for your sins and you truly regret them. You also cannot exploit the system, as God is ready to restore the requirement to repay your forgotten debt (Mt 18:32-35).

If we reject the idea of the Primordial Chaos, present in many religions, according to which even the power of the gods is not eternal or everlasting, and instead accept the idea that all creation is the work of an omnipotent and all-good God, worthy of judging our deeds, Christian Salvation and Grace better reflect this idea than what is accepted about life after death in other religions.

Considering that other religions do not offer any similar form of Salvation, it becomes undeniable that there is no Salvation outside of Christ.

[heraldofcrow]

The Cainhurst Royal Family

Hello. I am HeraldOfCrow and I stole an idea from LITERALLY TWO of my mutuals. We have all entered the same hell-pit of mad obsession together and likely have fried our brains. Thus I will ALSO be revealing my headcanons about the Cainhurst family portraits. The holy trinity must be completed, and I am the third piece.

Source

Oh, look who’s using the exact same portrait compilation. I am very original.

So, the headcanon that Katy shared about Caryll being the artist of these portraits? I love it. Canon.

Also, because I have woven most of my personal headcanons about these figures into my fic about Bloody Crow, I will refrain from being purely indulgent and list both the “General Headcanon” that most Bloodborne fans would be able to accept, and the “Personal Headcanon” which is my completely fabricated worldbuilidng based on very flimsy evidence.

Let’s jump right to the obvious one!

—

General Headcanon: The woman on the left is Annalise, the first ever Child of Blood born to Cainhurst nobles and therefore the first of their Undead. The woman on the right is her mother, the former Queen of Cainhurst.

Personal Headcanon: Annalise and her mother, Claudia. Claudia has chestnut brown hair with hints of red and Annalise was a full-blown natural redhead. Annalise was also Cainhurst’s golden child, and was Claudia’s firstborn. Anna was considered to be the most beautiful woman in Cainurst, and had countless suitors over the years. Everyone wanted to be her consort, and to partake in her blood. The promise of beauty and immortality was too much to bear for them, and this is why the Church detested Anna simply for existing. They considered her an immortal siren witch that seduced innocents into sin and defilement.

Anna herself was no such person, but did learn to embrace the corrupted image as a weapon to use against her enemies. She had no other choice, as she was born into her position and was hated by a powerful authority she did not know or even begin a conflict with. Initially a sweet and well-meaning child, she became cold, calculating, manipulative, and ruthless over the years, learning from her mother. However, her public image remained the same in Cainhurst, and she was perceived as an entirely benevolent and graceful queen. Annalise remained alive for an unknown number of years even after her people were massacred. Claudia died of her old age.

—

General Headcanon: Lady Evelyn, dame commander of the knight’s cavalry, and her husband, captain of the mounted brigade. Evelyn was the sister of Annalise’s mother and therefore Annalise’s aunt. She sports the vivid red hair that Annalise seemingly inherited as well. Evelyn was the one for whom the knight’s pistol was named.

Personal Headcanon: Evelyn was Claudia’s elder sister and was initially in line to inherit the throne. However, when Claudia gave birth to the Child of Blood instead of Evelyn, the line of succession was changed. Evelyn, snubbed and overlooked, took up the mantle of organizing and commanding the knights. She disposed of any bestial threats from outside of Cainhurst and even from within, should the nobles become too drunk. When the blood was brought to Cainhurst initially, Evelyn did not partake in it. Yet after a time she realized that her age would affect her ability to fight, and gave in, receiving a gracious offering from Annalise.

Her hair turned white upon consumption, and she wore it styled in a ribboned ponytail thereafter. The knights, who adored her, imitated the style with their wigs. The pistol was also named after her, since she was the one to modify it and popularize it. She was an excellent sharpshooter, and commanded her troops with stern and strict council. A stoic and formal woman, she was the complete opposite of her notoriously flamboyant sister.

Evelyn’s husband was Lord Benedict, captain of the mounted brigade that would ride out to defend the gates and bridge leading into Cainhurst. He would have been that knight on horseback we fought had the enemy not been cut. Benedict himself was more of a bombastic showman. His relationship with Evelyn was one of businesslike professionalism. Their marriage was an arranged union, and lacked any amorous connection. However, they did have two children—Leo, the Vileblood drifter from cut content, and a daughter named Agatha, who took up her mother’s position later on. The family had a theme of being cast aside in favor of others, and so neither of Evelyn’s children ever received portraits. The children were lost/killed during the Cainhurst massacre along with their father. Evelyn died of mysterious poisoning a few years prior.

—

General Headcanon: Captain of the castle guard/defense (the gargoyle, lost children of antiquity faction), and his elder sister, the queen before Annalise’s mother, hence the grandmother of Annalise.

Personal Headcanon: The man is Captain Alexander, the head of the castle’s guard. Not the royal guard that defended Annalise, but strictly the “gargoyle” watchmen, or the lost children of antiquity that wear old-fashioned, metallic knight armor. The woman is his elder sister, Zofia, who gave birth to Claudia and Evelyn. Both Zofia and Alexander were austere and cold, adhering to the ways and traditions of their generation, and looking down on the madness that befell their children. Neither of them ever partook in the blood, but believed that they could honor and tap into their Pthumerian heritage without the aid of an external medium. Evelyn was far more like her mother, and the two were closer than Zofia and Claudia ever were. Claudia was half the reason the Cainhurst aristocracy underwent such drastic changes in its latter years, but the children of Evelyn and by extent, Zofia, never forgave the slight.

On another note, Alexander was the grandfather of Lady Maria and Bloody Crow. This is where it gets really self-indulgent and nonsensical, but what I wrote for Maria and Crow was simply this—They were brother and sister, both being the trueborn children of Dominic, son of Alexander, and Clarice, daughter of a lesser Cainhurst noble that held power in Hemwick. Dominic was the captain of the royal guard that defended the queens…both Claudia and Annalise.

Claudia and Dominic were cousins, and thus closer in age. Maria, Bloody Crow (whom I have named Luther), and Annalise were in the same age range. They were friends as children. Maria and Luther, like Annalise, were “golden children,” but they were wayward, and fled Cainhurst in their youth. Maria went on to become the apprentice of Gehrman and eventually one of the greatest beast hunters to ever walk the earth. Maria had also been a knight under Evelyn prior to leaving, and had mastered the art of quickening in her early youth. She was a Cainhurst prodigy through and through, even naturally born with the silver hair of a Pthumerian and the boiling blood of her ancestors. Her absence from Cainhurst was considered a great loss.

Luther was likewise a prodigy, and became nigh invincible when he transitioned into a Vileblood in his later life. With his sister’s gift, he could quicken effortlessly, and his training as a crow among the Hunters of Hunters in secret led him to be even more formidable. The dark-clad, silver-haired crow of Cainhurst was considered a demonic terror and a vengeful spirit of wrath incarnate when he was at his peak. Such a dark and mysterious figure was one even Logarius was known to have greatly feared. There was no other like the Bloody Crow of Cainhurst.

So, overall…it was a fascinating line that descended from Alexander and Zofia. Both died of old age.

—

General Headcanon: Last generation captain of Annalise’s guard on the left, as well as her younger brother. On the right, Logarius the Executioner and future king consort.

Personal Headcanon: So, for the pretty boys we have Theodore and Logarius. Theo was the beloved younger brother of Annalise and was known, in a similar manner as his sister, for his youthful glamor. He notably inherited his mother’s more chestnut brown hair. He was not immortal, but very long-lived and appeared quite young even in his elder years. A popular court presence, Theo was well loved by his people and never felt as though he lived in his sister’s shadow. He was the last royal captain and the one to succeed Dominic after the latter’s premature death in combat. His loyalty was strong, and he led the guards to retrieve blood dregs for Annalise. This he did out of duty and love, with Annalise also rewarding him on occasion with her blood. His life was only extended by the gift, and he relished it.

As for Logarius, he was a foreigner from a Hungarian-coded land where the family of Cainhurst executioners often hailed from. Logarius’ name is, interestingly, Hungarian in the non-Anglicized translation, and is actually the place name of a district in Oradea, a Romanian city within a sub-region of Transylvania. The city district is called Rogeriusz, if anyone is curious.

So, Logarius was a foreigner raised in Cainhurst and brought up to be an Executioner for the royal family…the type that would carry out the court punishments for criminals or traitors. He was chosen and arranged to be wed to Annalise in his early youth, hence his kingly garb and portrait. But Logarius had higher ambitions, and wanted the throne entirely for his own. He rabidly craved power and immortality, which led him to commit dangerous and treasonous acts against his family. Upon discovery, the aristocracy exiled him and chose a different consort for Annalise. Logarius swore his revenge and set out upon an executioner’s crusade, using a certain holy church to gain leverage over the years. He eventually became the ruin of his people and took his frigid throne in vain. He died by the hand of a strange, intrusive hunter years later. Theo was slain in the Cainhurst massacre.

—

General Headcanon: Top left was the daughter of the castle guard captain and cousin to Annalise’s mother. Top right was a renowned Cainhurst scientist that invented Numbing Mist and worked to modernize the weaponry of Cainhurst warriors. Also served as an ambassador to the foreign Japan-coded country that brought gifts like the Chikage and Rakuyo. Bottom portrait is a famous Cainhurst scholar and keeper of the ancient library. Counterpart to the scientist.

Personal Headcanon: The noblewoman in the white dress is Diane, firstborn daughter of Captain Alexander and sister to Dominic, thereby making her the aunt of Lady Maria and Luther, the Bloody Crow. Had Zofia’s children not survived, Diane would have taken the throne, and so this is why she received a portrait alongside her father. She, like her father, was traditional and did not often engage in the goings-on of later Cainhurst. She was also close with Lady Maria and the two shared a love of astronomy and botany.

The bell ringing-type woman was of more direct Pthumerian descent than several of the nobles and possessed inhuman intelligence for it. Her name was Charlotte, and it was from her that the Iosefka twins (My names are: Iosefka and Karolina) were descended. Charlotte spoke several languages fluently, including the ancient tongue of Pthumeru and the Eastern language of the Japanese-coded allies. As such, she was an ambassador for Cainhurst and was the reason the country received strong intercultural enrichment prior to the Vileblood revolution. Charlotte was the inventor of numbing mist as well, and was known for being a learned alchemist, scientist, astronomer, crafter, and interpreter. From a distance, she admired the trick weapon techniques that Gehrman employed in the old workshop and began to modify Cainhurst’s weapons to be more advanced. She specifcally commissioned and helped craft weapons like the Chikage, Rakuyo, and Reiterpallasch, as well as adopting the method of using quicksilver bullets for Cainhurst arms.

Charlotte was brilliant and obsessive as a scientist, pushing Cainhurst rapidly into a more modern and functional standard of life. Her inventions were famed and earned her a widespread amount of respect and admiration from different countries around the world.

Lastly, the man in red is the cut content Cainhurst librarian named Beltran. (Yes, mutuals I share the headcanon). He was a scholar well-versed in the histories of Cainhurst, the Pthumerian people, the Great Ones, and the cosmic mythologies. Like Charlotte, he spoke many different languages and studied ancient cultures for the sake of enriching his knowledge of the world around him. He was also a provost of the royal academy at Cainhurst before Byrgenwerth became the new hotspot. He sent his son, Laurence, to the new college for a higher education, but the two grew apart due to the rift that arose between Cainhurst and Byrgenwerth at the time. The advent of the Vilebloods did no one any favors, and Laurence left behind his heritage willingly. Beltran remained in Cainhurst until his death, counseling the aristocracy and tutoring their children. The “Beltran is Laurence’s father” theory stems from that damn pendant, in case you’re wondering.

These three nobles met their deaths in a variety of ways. Diane committed suicide during the peak of the Cainhurst-Healing Church conflict, Charlotte died/disappeared under unknown circumstances during a visit to the Pthumerian tombs, and Beltran contracted an illness and passed on a few years before the Cainhurst genocide. He never reconciled with his son.

—

Additional Notes:

—The Cainhurst baby pictured with the mother of Annalise is mysterious to me, but I have settled on the headcanon that it is Arianna. Arianna does wear a scarlet noble’s dress, and her blood is special enough to mark her as a worthy vessel for the birth of a Great One’s child. The way her hair loses its color in the same manner Annalise’s did makes me think she would have to be a very close relative. So, yes…the blond-haired, red-clad potato child is Arianna in my eyes. She likely escaped Cainhurst as a child during the genocide and was raised in Yharnam.

—I think the bell-ringing woman would have been considered a witch by the Healing Church and was maybe a target they felt needed to be eliminated. The Iosefka twins could have been her daughters or granddaughters, brilliant and talented scientists themselves, but wary of the Church upon discovering their heritage.

—In my eyes, all of these people pictured, with the exception of Alexander, Zofia and Logarius, imbibed the forbidden blood at some point in their lives and became true Vilebloods. Only Annalise was immortal, but the rest were long-lived and passed the trait to their children biologically.

—Cainhurst puts quite a bit of emphasis on their queens and mothers. I believe this is why the woman heirs are prevalent in depictions.

—The theory about Alfred being of Cainhurst descent is fascinating to me, but I am not sure if I adopt the headcanon yet. However, he does appear to have absurd strength and his golden-haired appearance (bearing similarity to Arianna) naturally summons the thought.

—I have headcanoned these people as mostly related because I think it would make sense for these portraits to be “the royal family album,” with a few exceptions made for the relevant figures that were more distantly related.

—Logarius’s portrait was not replaced with an image of the next kingly-robed consort because of secrecy. The royal family wanted to arrange the marriage in a secluded manner, so as to avoid revealing the identity of the next king. This was at the time when the conflict with the Healing Church was at its worst, and Logarius was deliberately seeking out the next king of Cainhurst.

—None of this is anything close to canon, but as someone obsessed with Cainhurst and who wants to develop a in-depth lore for their culture and history, I felt like it was worth it to at least try to imagine who these people might be and how they are connected to the actual canon. However, I understand that this is literally on the level of fan-fiction and that I am using these headcanons for the BASIS of a fic, so please don’t take this very seriously. Hopefully, I will be able to complete a reference post in the future with more general headcanons that are not so specific to me, and that more people can actually enjoy.

—

So, that’s it for now! Thanks @fantomette22 and @katyspersonal for inspiring me to finally do this! This will make a fantastic reference for my writing in the future, and I couldn’t have gotten the energy to do it without you guys. I adore both of your headcanons posts as well, and I love how different but similar our ideas are! I’m living for the diversity, and hopefully people like our crazy ramblings about these rich Cainhurst snobs 😅🙌

[allthatisleftinthedark]

Which muse is the most likely to turn to evil? Is their descent into evil slow or is it bought about for a desire to do good (in their eyes)? Would they be able to be talked down or to turn back? What does their choice cost them?

unprompted asks | always accepting | @offrozenmemoirs

Truth be told, my characters are built in mind to be antagonistic because of their own beliefs and mindsets. Not to say that they are actively inhibiting or challenging things, but everyone has opinions and experiences, which naturally spawns conflict and friction.

The most likely to turn evil are usually not out of their own accord. For example, Sino and Maisie's themes include what constitutes "loyalty" vs "obedience." One must ask at what point someone's allegiance is based on the personal beliefs that they've cultivated or subjugated upon them. 

It is no secret that the gnomes hold onto their primary influences very closely. Sino had a terrific influence as an 11-year-old after escaping Stelsel, and Maisie had a very stable family life growing up. However, a lot is happening behind the scenes, like Sino's place of origin and Maisie's community and family dynamics. 

If the wrong people got their hands on the gnomes, they would've, truthfully, been groomed to be those evils. I cannot see them being people of power to be evil, either. 

Their systems have maltreated them, placing them at the lowest tier of society. They have been neglected and ignored, without any peers to help them. One of them caught a lucky break and found herself in the orbit of humanity despite facing her own challenges. She always felt like an outsider due to her past experiences, which made her feel like she was never acceptable, replaceable, and beneath humans. On the other hand, the other person was born into a family with their own secrets and a community's paranoia. They were traumatized and projected their fears onto her. She always tried to do her best for others, and her pride guided her. However, she often questioned her worth because of what she "has" to do. 

In the current circumstances, Sino and Maisie have dealt with the world's evils differently. Sino cried and pleaded with the Lord of Night when she was younger to let her back into the Void. In contrast, Maisie held onto her own and remained optimistic. Both of them have a natural instinct to withdraw, but the ambassador cannot do so. On the other hand, the gunslinger does not reveal her vulnerability so openly, especially when so few have gotten close to her. While they both recognize the misdeeds and mistreatments they have faced at their ages, one has not connected the dots to realize the wrongs done to her.

For them, doing a sharp heel-turn to do evil isn't in the cards. It would've been a different story if they had other exposures in earlier life. Neither would derive pleasure from it; they would not have any autonomy in these situations. Depending on how young it happened, the idea of them being talked out of is complicated; I believe Sino would have a better time working/talking out of it while Maisie becomes relentless in it. It is a quality of hers to keep dedicated, no matter the cost; she tends to feel over-accountable for the issues that couldn't have been impacted or influenced by her hand. Surprisingly, she can be the voice of reasoning for people who have otherwise led a destructive path. 

For Maisie, it is always a matter of protecting the majority, while for Sino, it is about defending herself (as her primary connections are fae-based/nonmortal). The consequences that would belie Maisie would be ultimately being separated from her loved ones; it is a matter of context on whether or not she is cognizant of the actions. In her current campaign and the abandoned pantheon route, she displays a keen awareness that alters her perception of herself, making her see herself rather negatively. Meanwhile, Sino would be severed from humanity around her as it is something that has been revoked from her since birth; it only cements her worst fears as she folds and gives into the lie. As one can see, the consequence means irrevocable isolation.  

[warpedlegacywrites]

Hozier Prompts

Here is my personal blog version of the prompt list found here. Please like and reblog the original version. I will do my best to keep this updated as prompts are fulfilled.

𝐡𝐨𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  lyric  dialogue  prompts  taken  from  various  hozier  songs.  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ i’ve walked the earth and there are so few here that know how dark the night and just how cold the wind can blow. ❜

❛ i’ve no more kept my warmth than blood upon the snow. ❜

❛ it’s not my arms that will fail me, but this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❜

❛ the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you. ❜

❛ i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. ❜

❛ i’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife. ❜

❛ good god, let me give you my life. ❜

❛ so tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes. ❜

❛ every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside. ❜

❛ you knew who i was with every step that i ran to you. ❜

❛ would things be easier if there was a right way? ❜

❛ honey, there is no right way. ❜

❛ i fall in love just a little, a little bit every day with someone new. ❜

❛ when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes, i feel like a person for a moment of my life. ❜

❛ you don’t know what hell you put me through. ❜

❛ there’s something tragic about you. ❜

❛ i have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me. ❜

❛ i have never known hunger like these insects that feast on me. ❜

❛ i’d be home with you. ❜

❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜

❛ no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her. ❜

❛ what did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? ❜

❛ i will not ask where you came from. i will not ask and neither should you. ❜

❛ just put your sweet lips on my lips. we should just kiss like real people do. ❜

❛ i know who i am when i’m alone. i’m something else when i see you. ❜

❛ you don’t understand, you should never know, how easy you are to need. ❜

❛ don’t let me in with no intention to keep me. ❜

❛ don’t feed me — i will come back. ❜

❛ i’ve known the warmth of your doorways. through the cold, i’ll find my way back to you. ❜

❛ still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man’s beliefs. ❜

❛ i need you to run to me, run until you feel your lungs bleeding. ❜

❛ when i was a child, i heard voices… some would sing and some would scream. ❜

❛ i learned the voices died with me. ❜

❛ don’t you ever tame your demons, but always keep ‘em on a leash. ❜

❛ you’ve done me wrong for a long time. but after all you’ve done, i never changed my mind. ❜

❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜

❛ nothing fucks with my baby. ❜

❛ if i was born as a black thorn tree, i’d wanna be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies. ❜

❛ ain’t it warming you, the world going up in flames? ❜

❛ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted, but i’m singing like a bird about it now.❜

❛ i’m almost me again, she’s almost you. ❜

❛ i’ve had no love like your love. from nobody. ❜

❛ make your good love known to me, or just tell me about your day. ❜

❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

❛ that’s the kinda love i’ve been dreaming of. ❜

❛ i fell in love with the fire long ago. ❜

❛ with each love i cut loose, i was never the same. ❜

❛ i had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you. ❜

❛ know that i would gladly be the icarus to your certainty, oh my sunlight. ❜

❛ i have never loved a darker blue than the darkness i have known in you. ❜

Theresa and Cullen comparing notes on their nightmares

[jayktoralldaylong]

TGCF SPOILERS. HEAVEN'S OFFICIAL BLESSINGS SPOILERS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

BOOK THREE. THE BLACK WATER ARC

Takes a deep breath.

Okay. This is going to be a rough one. (I hope people take their time to read this. Anyone who's read the 'Heaven's Official Blessings' book that is).

I do not think Shi Wudu was a bad brother.

Is he a rotten person? Yeah. Pretty much. No debate. However, I do not think at all that he was a bad brother. People are allowed to disagree. I understand. What he did was terrible and selfish and no one deserved the life his poor victim lived. That was just cruel. But...when you think about it. That sad miserable life belonged to Qingxuan. That was supposed to be Qingxuan's life.

One can say anything about Shi Wudu, but he loved his brother. He loved his brother to the extreme. He spoilt him silly, he gave him everything and anything. The evil Reverend of Empty Words targeted Shi Wudu first. It intended on sucking out his destiny but Shi Wudu was such a savage, even at whatever tiny age he was at XD, that the evil demon had to quickly abort mission. It aimed instead for the pure hearted Xuan that had just gotten born. So the first thing we can say about Shi Wudu is that he would have felt an intense amount of guilt. That monster was supposed to eat him, but it was now trying to eat his brother. Little Xuan got rediscovered because he was outside with his big brother. Qingxuan's torment restarted and Shi Wudu could do nothing to protect him. The thing with the Reverend of Empty Words is that, others cannot help you survive the torment. No matter how strong or steadfast Shi Wudu's heart was, he couldn't take his brother's place. Considering he'd been the original target, of course the Reverend wanted nothing to do with him now, so I don't think switching fates with his brother would have worked.

I asked someone "If you had to sacrifice a stranger to save someone you love. Would you do it?" Really, no matter how righteous people want to pretend to be, many would answer yes. It's the person you love Vs a stranger. You will always choose the person you love. It just so happened that person even had the abilities to become a god so it was really.....a unique situation. At any rate, Shi Wudu would take anything. He saved his brother, made sure the matter was settled and was once again at peace.

When the He Xuan situation blew up, Shi Wudu knew he was going to die. He really had no plans of getting out of that one. If he somehow managed to, he wouldn't mind, but his priority was protecting Qingxuan. To the point that he couldn't concentrate on his battle because he was worried about his brother. He just wanted Qingxuan to not pay for his sin. It was his sin and his sin alone. Qingxuan was just a child. That was all.

The two options He Xuan presented were not at all feasible, he just wanted to see them destroy each other. Even if Qingxuan died in neither options, what He Xuan suggested would destroy his soul, not his body. There was no way Shi Wudu would just sit back and let that happen. He Xuan refused to kill only him no matter how much he begged. Apologising wasn't working. Both he and his brother were truly going to suffer horrible fates at this rate cause he knew there was no way Qingxuan would be able to kill him. He had to do something to stop his brother from dying with him. So, he took the highroad and provoked He Xuan to rage. He tried to kill Shi Qingxuan because he really had no idea what He Xuan would do with his brother once he was gone. It was better for them both to die right? Either together or him alone, that was fine for Shi Wudu. If there's was one thing Shi Wudu swore to use his whole life to do, it's protect his brother.

For me, the most amazing thing is that he did succeed. He was right when he told He Xuan he won. His brother didn't have to kill him. He was able to protect Qingxuan. He won. He Xuan must really hate the fuck out of that arrogant tyrant...who won either way. What an empty revenge.

[oss-punishment]

Chapter 4-”Ma” Survival: Elluka; Scene 2

Original Sin Story: Punishment, pages 87-91

The children of god aren’t born.

.

The children of god aren’t found.

.

Someone must become mother.

.

She must birth the children of god.

.

…She had heard the ‘Voice of God’ so often when she was a shrine maiden that she’d grown sick of it.

And it now rang through Elluka’s mind for the first time in years.

This voice, the gender of which she couldn’t discern, sounded to Elluka as though it was commanding, or even imploring her.

Were the gods getting impatient?

Impatient to be reborn soon onto the ground world.

--For what purpose?

To save the world…That was the theory proposed by the senate.

Supposing for argument’s sake that were true, then that would have to mean that the threat advancing on the world had to be mighty enough that it could rival the gods’ power.

She had yet to see a single omen of such a thing anywhere.

.

“The Clockworker Magic Workshop”.

So read the sign that had been set up outside the building that Elluka entered.

It had been a while since she’d come back here.

And just like always Kiril was quietly engrossed in his job before his workbench.

He realized that Elluka was there, lifting his face.

“Welcome home, Elluka,” he said, giving her a clumsy smile.

“Good to be back…Darling, have you gotten a bit older?”

“Haha, feels like the last time I saw you was…close to a thousand years ago.”

“It hasn’t even been a single year.”

“The work has been piling up around here for a change. I suppose my exhaustion must be showing on my face a little.”

--Kiril’s trade was that of making music boxes, but it was a little difficult for him to make a living based on solely that.

The only people who came to buy music boxes were those among the decently wealthy who enjoyed music. The amount they paid was alright, but music boxes weren’t the sort of thing you came to buy several times a year.

For that reason, in addition to his sale and repair of music boxes, he would also take contracts to perform maintenance of precision equipment such as clocks and the like.

Ever since Elluka started working at the shop, they’d also taken to working on small magical devices as well. This was something she’d done for free many times in her days of being a shrine maiden, but here with the inclusion of Kiril’s skills and knowledge, they were able to easily handle restorations that would have been difficult for her back then.

“We must make a good team.”

She recalled them saying things like that, smiling together.

Taciturn, unfriendly, unable to understand what he was thinking—that was the first impression she’d gotten of Kiril when she met him at the temple.

But she supposed that was just a result of his ‘mental illness’. As he was now, Kiril was bright and cheerful. He probably still couldn’t be called sociable compared to a normal person, but Elluka rather liked his sincerity.

He was always kind, and he could be a little timid sometimes. But when it came to his work he had a stubborn side too.

After countless squabbles, eventually the two of them had naturally…yes, quite naturally…fallen in love—

--The inside of the shop was fairly clean for having been busy lately.

His work tools were properly organized and put away on the shelf.

“Looks like Irina’s been coming home pretty frequently.”

“That’s because she’s such a busybody. I’m always telling her she should be more sparing about her visits so it won’t get in the way of her duties at the castle, but…”

“It’s been pretty dull where we are. I actually wonder if she’s not helping out here to distract herself, with that personality of hers.”

The previous Clockworker head…Kiril and Irina’s adoptive father, he had passed away five years ago.

From then until Elluka showed up, the shop had been run by the two of them alone.

“Well, if you’ve been busy then that means the shop is thriving even without me here, so that’s good at least.”

“I certainly wouldn’t let the shop my father left me get closed down in my time.”

The previous family head had been a former member of Apocalypse, and as such he apparently hadn’t had a very good reputation when he first opened for business. But with the way he handled his trade, opinion began to improve with time.

At the same time, after he’d atoned for his sins he’d gone on to provide aid to some of his former comrades that had been left out in the cold. Kiril and Irina themselves had supposedly been orphans of some Apocalypse members.

“…Either Irina or I will become queen very soon,” Elluka cut in, after a few moments of troubled thought.

“…That’s right.”

“When that happens, one of us won’t be able to come back here again.”

“True…but you did come here today.”

“Yeah…This might end up being the last time…So—"

Elluka embraced Kiril.

“Kiril…I love you.”

“And I you…Elluka.”

The two of them kissed for a long time.

.

--She’d be breaking curfew soon. She’d get scolded later.

But she had no intention of returning to the castle tonight.

<<prev------directory------next>>

[aestheticanimosity]

Hamelin Act of Reality Chapter 1 translation by jyong. Please support him! Permission was given to share to my Hamelin archive.

Verse 1: In the midst of a tense atmosphere, a student was playing the piano alone. Those delicate fingertips produced sounds that are incredibly precise and beautiful. However…. "That was ugly." As soon as the performanced ended, the young instructor in charge of guiding striked the student's shoulder sharply with his baton. "You completely fail to understand the soul of the composer. Study the sheet music more thoroughly. Show me the result tomorrow." The young instuctor left the classroom and headed home. Gazing outside where darkness has already set in, the student remained and returned to the piano once again.

(Discordant Poem/Student PoV) My piano teacher is strict. Even if there's a slight waver in the sound or if I haven't studied the sheet music enough, he would hit my shoulder or back with the baton he holds in his hand.

Hamelin: … Ah, this is bad.

Hamelin: I must have fallen asleep as soon as I got home.

Hamelin: The fatigue must have accumlated from all those consecutive guidance sessions.

Hamelin: If not for that….

Hamelin: I wouldn't be having such a nightmare.

Hamelin: However, even if it's just a dream, I cannot tolerate the existence of such ugly beings.

Verse 2: The world is filled with ugly things. And that's only natural. Because the very people who make up this world are ugly themselves.

Verse 3: Even if their appearance and hearts are beautiful, there isn't a person whose soul is beautiful. That's because every human carries the original sin of the fruit of knowledge.

Verse 4: When I realized that the existence of humans itself is ugly, I wanted to die. I despaired, questioning why I was born into something like this.

Verse 5: However, it was also humans who saved me from such a state.

Verse 6: Beautiful art created by utterly beings. Especially music. It captured my heart and never let go.

Verse 7: I expressed my gratitude to God for granting music to this world. And I made a vow to dedicate my entire life to this music.

Verse 8: But sadly, I am unable to reach the ultimate sound. Understanding beauty led me to realize that I lack the power to achieve it myself.

Verse 9: Therefore, I entrust my dreams to those who can embody the true beauty. Everything is for the sake of beautiful music.

Verse 10: "Isn't that a bit much? That student stayed late yesterday too, didn't he?" A female colleague of the instructor voiced her discontent to the young man. "What's the deal with that student? His current abilities are more than sufficient." "Just being 'sufficient' is not enough. That student may be a once in a decade, no, maybe even a once in a century prodigy. It's my duty as the instructor to refine that talent to perfection. Those who cannot understand the value of such talent have no right to intervene." Saying this, the young man snickered at his colleague. The colleague's face turned red, and she muttered "I'm only concerned for them is all" before quickly disappearing from the scene.

(Discordant Poem) Other teachers seem to be worried that my teacher's guidance goes too far. Well, it's true that there are moments when he's overly passionate, but….

Hamelin: That child's talent is a gift bestowed by God.

Hamelin: However, even with suck remarkable talent…

Hamelin: If entrusted to those who cannot comprehend it, it will wither away.

Hamelin: But I'm different. I am the one who understands true beauty.

Hamelin: I would never hand that child over to despicable insects like you who all swarm around art.

Hamelin: I will create true beauty with these hands of mine without fail!

Whether it was due to being too passionate about his teachings or not, the young man had been having nightmares night after night. In his dreams, he would kick away the despicable individuals who urged him to let go of his students, and he would continue his teachings. "Infuse your emotions more intensely! Love musical notes! The conductor's baton trembles in his hand. The struck student clenches his teeth, but continued to hit the keys. From an outsider's perspective, the instruction that was aimed at achieving ultimate beauty looked like outright abuse. Nevertheless, the student remained in a state of ecstasy and smiled. "You can play more beautifully!" The young man's words were like a divine revelation to the student.

(Discordant Poem) My teacher and I are co-conspirators in pursuit of true music in beauty. This relationship is unlikely to be understood by others.

[tarajenkins]

I don't like canon Vauthry as a person - like he's tragic but he still serverly hurt people and cultist malicious messiah's are always on my yeet to the void list because there's no room for reason. (Everything about Forgiven Innocence is gross and I hate Vauthry transformed more than normal Vauthry) Vauthry original design also does body horror- like we have those hints he's not entirely human off the back. His height, the extra face on his breast, the way he seems more swollen than actually fat expecially compared to other heavy models like the Dulia or Gilgamesh. Like he dwarfs even the sineaters that's not normal. That said you make him kinda cute especially in your more human designs for him he looks cuddly. Your story for him is compelling too if there was more time in the game I may have liked him more. Also Vauthry looks less disgusting than innocence any day of the fucking week I hate that transformation so much everyone who simps for it is bad

There could have been more time in the writing of the Eulmore arc, if the writers had been more clever and hadn't used lazy tropes to phone it in. But Yoshida bodyshamed a cosplayer for their weight live onstage at Fanfest 2014, so while I was disappointed, I sure wasn't surprised. Square in general loves shitting on fat characters.

So here we are, with inexplicably overpowered grandpa (who died in a duty), the totally plot twist Lightwarden Of Kholusia, and the "perverted paradise" that actually made the 1% foot the tab for their employees, before being replaced by the much more benevolent capitalism. (◔_◔)

By all means Nonnie, you do you, but you should consider that Vauthry was the original victim of the "cult", as you put it. He had no chance of free will since before he was born. Tempering/Light corruption doesn't work like that, and Tempering/Light corruption has never made an exception for anyone else, including the Warrior Of Light, who had Hydaelyn's Blessing protecting them. Vauthry was bound to the instincts and will of a Lightwarden his entire life. Or, as Emet-Selch, the actual founder of the Eulmore "cult", stated:

"Those in your company will likewise turn to sin eaters, and in time you will succumb to your base instincts and hunt innocents to feast on their sweet, sweet aether."

You think that whole situation was bad for your WoL? A lot of players go on in great length how horrifying it was for theirs. Loads of High Drama and Existential Dread. How do you suppose it was for a child alone, surrounded by people who were only using him for their own ends? 

The Ascians were there to guide their creation to do their bidding the whole way, it seems. It would only make sense, why would Emet-Selch corrupt a baby for such a crucial role, then leave him to do whatever on his own? 

Then you had his father, the Former Mayor, who obviously made up a fanciful story of why his son was born as he was, framing all who oppose him as villains who seek to destroy the peace he brought between man and sin eater. That unfortunately included the Scions and their allies, although even Emet-Selch stated he was surprised Vauthry sent the Eulmoran Army after us. That does imply it wasn’t common for Vauthry to resort to violent behavior in the past, if he resorted to it at all. The Eulmorans themselves definitely weren’t afraid of him ‘til the very end. You already know everything else I have to say on that subject, right? ( ᐛ )b

But yeah. We're talking being indoctrinated into this from birth. For those who dismiss that, I'd love to hear how they expected a child to know what was real and what was not at that point, carefully isolated from any life outside his false destiny. (Seriously. If any of you who subscribe to this mindset are reading this, DM me. Anon is obviously on. I really do want to see where the train of thought is coming from.) For the “well Vauthry was a spoiled rich kid” crowd, I don’t want to hear it--there are a lot of “rich kids” in this game that you love. Alphinaud, Alisaie, Hildibrand, Nanamo, the noble kids of Ishgard, etc. Think harder than that. Vauthry had to be convinced he was doing good for the world. He had all the power in the world to not care. Yet he remained mayor of one settlement, when he could’ve been in control of all of Norvrandt if he had even a fraction of Emet-Selch’s tin pot dictator ambitions. 

He didn’t. He hoped to "vindicate his existence" as the "half sin eater" the Ascians made him, as G’raha later said. But he died in bewildered sorrow because he "kept the people safe!" from the “villains”, never understanding everything he was taught was a cruel lie.

He did terrible things in the time we saw him, but blaming him for Light corruption he never chose and a lifetime of brainwashing feels like blaming Thancred for the fate of the Waking Sands. Would any of it have happened were it not for Emet-Selch’s direct actions? No.

Also, while I appreciate the compliments, Nonnie, why is "cuddly" and other similar terms always and only ever used for fat characters, smh. The fanbase tries to make Dulia everyone's maiden aunt as it is.  

 ༼ﾉ ᐕ ༽ﾉ︵┻━┻

[nirikeehan]

Hozier Lyrics Sentence Starters

Originally from here; recreating to keep track of prompt fills.

❛ i’ve walked the earth and there are so few here that know how dark the night and just how cold the wind can blow. ❜ - in progress

❛ i’ve no more kept my warmth than blood upon the snow. ❜

❛ it’s not my arms that will fail me, but this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❜

❛ the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you. ❜

❛ i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. ❜

❛ i’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife. ❜

❛ good god, let me give you my life. ❜

❛ so tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes. ❜

❛ every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside. ❜

❛ you knew who i was with every step that i ran to you. ❜

❛ would things be easier if there was a right way? ❜

❛ honey, there is no right way. ❜

❛ i fall in love just a little, a little bit every day with someone new. ❜

❛ when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes, i feel like a person for a moment of my life. ❜

❛ you don’t know what hell you put me through. ❜

❛ there’s something tragic about you. ❜

❛ i have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me. ❜

❛ i have never known hunger like these insects that feast on me. ❜

❛ i’d be home with you. ❜

❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜

❛ no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her. ❜

❛ what did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? ❜

❛ i will not ask where you came from. i will not ask and neither should you. ❜

❛ just put your sweet lips on my lips. we should just kiss like real people do. ❜ - Fill, Thalia & Samson

❛ i know who i am when i’m alone. i’m something else when i see you. ❜

❛ you don’t understand, you should never know, how easy you are to need. ❜

❛ don’t let me in with no intention to keep me. ❜

❛ don’t feed me — i will come back. ❜

❛ i’ve known the warmth of your doorways. through the cold, i’ll find my way back to you. ❜

❛ still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man’s beliefs. ❜

❛ i need you to run to me, run until you feel your lungs bleeding. ❜

❛ when i was a child, i heard voices… some would sing and some would scream. ❜

❛ i learned the voices died with me. ❜

❛ don’t you ever tame your demons, but always keep ‘em on a leash. ❜

❛ you’ve done me wrong for a long time. but after all you’ve done, i never changed my mind. ❜

❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜

❛ nothing fucks with my baby. ❜

❛ if i was born as a black thorn tree, i’d wanna be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies. ❜

❛ ain’t it warming you, the world going up in flames? ❜

❛ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted, but i’m singing like a bird about it now.❜

❛ i’m almost me again, she’s almost you. ❜

❛ i’ve had no love like your love. from nobody. ❜

❛ make your good love known to me, or just tell me about your day. ❜

❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

❛ that’s the kinda love i’ve been dreaming of. ❜

❛ i fell in love with the fire long ago. ❜

❛ with each love i cut loose, i was never the same. ❜

❛ i had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you. ❜

❛ know that i would gladly be the icarus to your certainty, oh my sunlight. ❜ - Fill, Thalia/Blackwall

❛ i have never loved a darker blue than the darkness i have known in you. ❜

[okayto]

Harrowhark the Ninth reread/liveblog, part iv: chapter 47 - THE END

This was just going to be a reblog on the previous post chain but it got long and I have THOUGHTS so it's by itself. Cannot wait to read Nona (and eventually Alecto) and find out how many of my thoughts were on the mark or not.

No comments on the whole spirit scene except I love Abigail, and Magnus. And poor Ortus just needed a different environment to be raised in.

Jod interrogates Commander Wake and I can follow the conversation so much better this time! So Blood of Eden believes what I’ve been leaning toward, that John caused the Big Kablooey.

“How many babies died in the bomb, Gaius?”

“All of them,” he said.

I wonder what that’s like for him? Ten thousand years of being god, and these people know his sin. It’s not just that they hate necromancers or want control of the Solar System, they know they’re dealing with the guy that destroyed them all. He’s a murderous, genocidal dictator, of course they’re going to attack him.

And then to have his remaining Lyctors tell him that they found out, and plotted for centuries to kill him? How’s that feel, Jod? The hell you inflicted on everyone—the ten billion dead, the souls of planets turned into ravenous monsters, the people who dedicated their entire existences to you, so much that they absorbed the other most important person in their lives, betrayed and in turn betraying? He deserves it. This is now a Jod Hate account.

(I disagree with Wake that all necromancers need to die, because it’s not the current batch of existing humans’ fault that their leader and cultural originator is a genocidal dickhead. But if the Houses get evacuated we know that necromancers can’t be born outside the Solar System so they would gradually die out. Of course, I also have next to no info about BOE themselves so I’m not necessarily rooting for them.)

Alecto—what is the significance of the name, versus Annabel? Why is “Alecto” taboo? Why was she mad (I pondered this in an earlier post)? But “a monster in a human suit,” “a monster the moment you resurrected her, and you went and made her worse!”

The Lyctors (excluding Gideon) hated her, begged Jod to kill her. The Resurrection Beasts were coming partly for her. And she has Jod’s eyes, and he hers.

I’m gonna bet that John was some sort of ecofascist. He thinks that blowing up the entire planet was necessary. He sees BOE (or their predecessors) as having abandoned it. Whatever sad faces he makes, he doesn’t actually regret it. He and his eternal war with child soldiers.

“Augustine,” he said, “ if the man you were — the man you were before you died, before the Resurrection — could hear what you just said to me, he’d tear your throat out.”

So Augustine—and presumably more (most?) of the lyctors wasn’t just any acolyte, he was John’s friend! Who was murdered (or committed suicide, essentially, probably, if he knew about the Murder Everyone Plan) and then resurrected as an amnesiac and…what, made to follow his co-conspirator as a god? Creepy! But that also allowed him to like, have a life. While whatever the hell Jod is trying to do (“expanding” “bewildering cartography” searching for something according to Augustine) consumes him. Or maybe there’s not much to do when you’ve killed your planet and created a whole new culture with yourself at the head. Can’t die. Can’t visit any media, cultural artifacts or people from before the murder. Can’t get therapy when you’re god. Maybe he’s just bored.

I wonder what that felt like, to be so finely disassembled into temporary death? And to be put back together again? I hope it hurt.

AND HERE WE SEE A GLIMPSE OF THE REAL JOHN. Not the fool who desperately wants, even with everything, to pretend he’s still on the same level (physically, socially, emotionally) as everyone else. Here I think we’re seeing the man who killed ten billion people. Cold. Not sorry. Ultimately the lyctors are still tools to him—yes, he wants their friendship, companionship, worship, but ALSO they exist ultimately to further his millennia-long goal, whatever it is.

The conversation with Pyrrha—I just realized this likely explains that time Harrow walked in on Gideon1 humping Cytherea’s corpse! Was probably Pyrrha, who knew Wake was haunting around.

I have no idea what’s happening to Harrow here at the end. Except not going back to her body, I guess?

THE END

[absolutelynotclassicusernam-blog]

Some Scattered Thoughts on Religion

Hi. Okay. (Is that how I started my last personal post too? Very possibly.) So I’ve been reading and reblogging and adding to some Judaism/religion-related posts recently, and after the most recent one, I thought I should maybe take some time to get my head on straight about what Judaism actually is for me.

God, where do I even begin? So. My great-grandparents, probably, across the board Orthodox. For those of you who don’t know, those are the traditionalists. Always wear hats or headscarves, don’t drive on Saturday, consider wearing a T-shirt and shorts in summer to be immodest, don’t believe in birth control, marrying outside the faith is grounds for disownment, who even knows what they would make of me being gay. There’s more to it than that, of course, but the point is: they’re straitlaced, all about the rules. My mom’s parents and siblings: Conservative. More relaxed about what exactly is allowed, but still a little bit patriarchal, still a little bit wary of outsiders, still very attached to the Correct Way to observe rituals.

Then we have my parents. My mom was raised Conservative but in her ‘20s went to India in search of herself and discovered Buddhist philosophy. My dad’s parents were the rebels of their families; they bar mitzvahed their sons but that was pretty much it. They didn’t believe in God, and neither does he. One aunt straight-up converted to Unitarianism, one uncle is still technically Jewish but married a Catholic woman and raised his kids Catholic, and I have no idea what my third uncle believes. When my parents met and fell in love, my mom kind of believed in everything and my dad kind of believed in nothing where religion was concerned, but they both believed in building a kinder, more fair world, and so...well, I don’t know exactly what they hammered out before I was born, but what it resulted in was raising three daughters in a small hippie town.

All this in one family. You see why I get confused when I hear Christians talking about their different sects like they’re completely different religions?

I was raised on Shabbat, the High Holidays, Hannukah and Pesach, mixed together with words like “enlightenment”, “lovingkindness”, and “Dharma”, neo-pagan rituals that may or may not have been stolen from the various cultures where they originated (I still have some questions about that), and in the Waldorf preschool I attended, some kinda-sorta Christian concepts of angels and heavens. In my earliest years, anything could be true, and there’s part of me that still feels that way.

Things got weird when I started public elementary school. The good thing about growing up way out in the country: lots and lots of space to play. The bad thing about it: not a whole lot of Jews. Or Buddhists, or neopagans, or even particularly poetic Christians, for that matter. (This is my experience. I do not say it is everybody’s.) Suddenly I was thrown into a world of really stringent rules, a world of really blatant American exceptionalism (not fun for a dual citizen whose parents have always stressed that all humans were equal) and thinly veiled Christian exceptionalism. I also started being the voracious reader I still am, which led to me coming to my parents a lot crying about this or that injustice I had just discovered existed, which required them to reassure me, among other things, that sin did not exist and hell did not exist. At some point I must have asked about Jesus. I think I by that point had enough of a concept of the world to come to my own conclusion that either all or no human beings are the children of God, but that it couldn’t be right for one to be singled out. I remember my mom affirming that Jesus was a great teacher, but that she didn’t believe he was the son of God either.

Um...let’s see. Pretty isolated elementary school life, one part due to the above and one part due to my being neurodivergent and very, very shy. In middle school, I moved to a more diverse school, and I was so used to being the only Jewish kid that when I first encountered others, I thought they were making fun of me. I had my bat mitzvah, which I enjoyed but in which I also made a point of stressing that I did not think I was superior to anyone else for being Jewish. (A courtesy that had not always been extended to me.)

During these years, there was also on-and-off war in Israel and Palestine, and while my parents worked hard for peace, other members of my family were...less invested. All my cousins fought in the Israeli Army. They have never told me exactly what they were required to do there, and I have never asked. Then one of my cousins got married, to a non-Jewish woman, and...well, he didn’t get disowned. But my grandmother, who I love with all my heart, was weird about it initially. Shortly thereafter, I came out, and while most of my family embraced me, I was afraid they wouldn’t.

During most of high school, I drifted away from religion somewhat. I had a lot of other stuff going on--coming out, being diagnosed with anxiety. I also felt quite guilty about my family’s role in the Palestinian occupation as I learned more about it, and that kind of made it hard to take pride in being Jewish.

Then, in college, I discovered my fellow Tumblr Jews. Not that I didn’t have other Jewish people in my life in this time, but most of them were family or elders, with whom I didn’t agree on everything. Even after coming to a school where there were other Jews, most of my life I have either been the only Jew, full-stop, in my friend group(s), or the only practicing one. I don’t know why. But what I do know is that Tumblr Jews opened up a new world to me--a world in which questioning everything was not only okay to do as a Jew, but an intrinsic part of the practice. A world in which the point was not to have blind faith in God, but to wrestle with the idea of God, to wrestle with whether there even is a God. A world in which the priority is not what happens after you die, but what you do with the life you’re living right now.

So...in conclusion, here I am, and I have been thinking more about my Jewish identity again, and I am just kind of trying to figure it out. I love our traditions. Even if I don’t agree with the exact wording of all the Hebrew prayers, I still love to sing them because they’re what I grew up on. And I understand why other Jews can be defensive of those traditions. Some sects of Christianity and some individual practitioners like to put them down, and others like to twist them around for their own uses, and that makes me angry too. On the other hand, I still believe in the emphasis on equality and kindness my parents taught me. At our family celebrations (and at the celebrations of the Reform synagogue we attend, although I have been told this is unusual), all are welcome. We come together not around the concept of God, but around the concepts of family, community, gratitude, and setting intentions to make the world a better place. If someone comes in and is rude or hurtful, of course we’ll deal with it, but to the best of my knowledge we’ve never had to. To the best of my knowledge, people come to us with an open heart, and we receive them with an open heart.

I think the long and short of it is that I really like being part-Jew-part-Buddhist-part-pagan (although again, I still have questions about exactly what practices there are appropriate for me to take part in), with a little atheism and agnosticism thrown in. As Leonard Cohen famously said, “maybe there’s a God above”. I think I like the mystery of it. I think I like the possibility that everyone is right. And some religious things maybe feel righter to me than others, but that doesn’t mean that those other things aren’t righter to other people.

I don’t promise to never get angry about Christians who disrespect our traditions. I wish I could, but I know I’d be lying. But the core tenet that my parents raised me on is that if there is a God, we are all equal before Them. And as I continue to explore, I just want to take a moment to center myself in that. Religion can be cool and fun and beautiful and enriching, but if it’s not helping me to be my best, kindest, wisest self, if kindness and fairness to myself and to other human beings is not the center of it all, there’s no point. If my fellow Tumblr Jews are right, that may be a very Jewish thing of me to say. I hope it is.

So...yeah. I’ve written a lot here, and I so very much do not have all the answers about anything. But if I am going to be reblogging things about religion in general and Judaism specifically, I just kind of wanted to let you know where I’m at. I so very much do not speak for other Jews. But this is who I am, or at least who I’m trying to be.

[selflessanatta]

Earning Heaven: Parallels Between Pure Land Buddhism and Evangelical Christianity, http://selflessanatta.com/earning-heaven-parallels-between-pure-land-buddhism-and-evangelical-christianity/

New Post has been published on http://selflessanatta.com/earning-heaven-parallels-between-pure-land-buddhism-and-evangelical-christianity/

Earning Heaven: Parallels Between Pure Land Buddhism and Evangelical Christianity

Salvation in the afterlife is the shared quest in Pure Land Buddhism and Evangelical Christianity.

Salesmanship of Organized Religion

Religions must compete in the marketplace of ideas. If the sales pitch isn’t compelling, people won’t follow it. Without adherents, the religion dies.

Religions all use a carrot-and-stick approach. Some emphasize the carrot, like the Christian heaven or the Buddhist pure land, and some emphasize the stick; both Christianity and Buddhism posit a Hell, a place of eternal damnation.

A good salesman or religious missionary will start by offering the lure of a carrot, but if that should fail, they generally resort to fear of the stick.

Spreading the Good News

An old Inuit and a Christian missionary had a conversation about the teachings of Christianity.

The missionary explained the basics of the Christian faith, including the concept of heaven and hell, and how one’s actions on earth determine where one will spend the afterlife.

After listening carefully, the Inuit elder asked the missionary, “If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?”

The missionary replied, “No, not if you did not know.”

Then the Inuit responded, “Then why did you tell me?”

Reflect for a moment on the meaning of that story.

The Christian missionary believes he is saving people from harm. However, he’s unwilling to believe God is so cruel that He would condemn people to Hell for their ignorance. Who would worship such a Being?

His zeal blinds him to the obvious conclusion that he personally condemns each person to hell once he shares the “Good News” and they don’t accept his faith. While he envisions himself as an agent of God, he actively recruits for the Devil he fears most.

The rhetorical sophistry employed to get around this problem is truly remarkable. The video below is an attempt from an intelligent and articulate Christian. See if you find it convincing.

All attempts at persuasion require a shared belief system. If you reject the foundational beliefs of that religious worldview, like people need forgiveness for their mistakes from some outside source like God, or people need forgiveness for being born with Original Sin, then their attempts at persuasion, no matter how well intended, fall flat.

Relief of Suffering Versus Forgiveness of Sins

As a practicing Buddhist, I’ve been asked why the Buddha focused so much on suffering. Isn’t this a made-up problem like the Christian original sin?

When I’m not up for a debate, I’ll answer that perhaps the Christian original sin is the dukkha or suffering the Buddha was talking about. However, since Eastern Orthodox Christians are among the only ones who conceive of original sin this way, that response isn’t often convincing.

The concept of “Original Sin” in Evangelical Christian theology is a doctrine that describes the fallen state of human nature due to the first sin committed by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. In other words, believers inherit the sins committed by their forebearers even though they personally did nothing wrong.

Christians who like to argue their faith sometimes become angry when I point out that if someone rejects Original Sin, then they don’t need the Christian God, nor do they need to fear the Christian Hell. The Christian worldview can safely be rejected in its entirety—as can any organized religious dogma.

If someone instinctively follows the Golden Rule, is predisposed to be happy nearly all the time, is naturally inclined to positivity, and is not prone to anger, jealousy, or attachment to worldly objects, then they have no need for Buddhist practice or any religion for that matter.

Some people are born with those dispositions. Perhaps they are spiritual masters reborn from a previous incarnation. Perhaps they are simply lucky, but Buddhism is a practice for those who need it, for those who notice their suffering and are inclined to do something about it.

Suffering is its own stick. If suffering beats a person hard enough, they will seek a way to avoid the beatings. The cessation of suffering, as outlined in the Four Noble Truths, is either a carrot, a defense, or medicine if you prefer the medical analogy.

Suffering and Salvation: Understanding the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism

What Have You Done For Me Lately?

Every religion makes an ask. There is something that is required in order to either avoid the stick or obtain the carrot. Some religions make it easy, and some do not.

Søren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, argued that the Church made Christianity too easy and convenient, thus losing the essence of faith. Some practicing Buddhists contend that enlightenment is too difficult to reach, and nobody ever seems to get there. Perhaps it’s too hard.

Whether it’s easy or difficult, there is always something that must be done.

Evangelical Christianity

Evangelical Christianity makes it easy. Simply accept Jesus Christ as your savior, and you’re saved; nothing else is required. Some churches add repentance of sins and a personal relationship with God, but they often vary on exactly what that means.

Each church follows a carrot-and-stick approach to compel compliance with its worldly dogma, but in Evangelical Christianity, access to heaven and avoiding hell are neither difficult nor complicated.

Accepting Jesus as Personal Savior and Lord: A personal decision to accept Jesus Christ as one’s Savior and Lord is considered a pivotal step.

Central to Evangelical belief is the conviction that salvation and, thus, access to heaven is through faith in Jesus Christ. This is based on scriptures such as John 3:16, which states, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Evangelicals believe that Jesus’ death and resurrection provide the only basis for the forgiveness of sins and the assurance of heaven. In other words, it’s our way or the highway—straight to hell, chased by a stick.

Repentance and Confession of Sins: Evangelicals emphasize the importance of acknowledging and turning away from sin. 1 John 1:9 states, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

The act of repentance involves a sincere commitment to turn from sinful behaviors and thoughts and to live according to God’s will.

This is a great spiritual teaching, but it’s also completely optional. The only action that’s required is accepting Jesus as a Savior.

Grace, Not Works: Evangelicals strongly hold that salvation is a gift of grace from God, not a result of human effort or good deeds.

Ephesians 2:8-9 states, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”

This doctrine asserts that no amount of moral conduct or religious activity can earn a place in heaven; it is only through God’s grace.

By giving up the stick, it’s sometimes challenging to induce Evangelical Christians to adhere to moral restraint and demonstrate good behavior. They view themselves as more moral than others, but their judgments sometimes fail to reflect the realities of what they think and what they do.

Redemption: One of the great appeals of Evangelical Christianity is its simplicity for obtaining salvation. Not everyone lives a life of moral restraint and virtue.

If you are past middle age, and you look back at years of immoral behavior, you are unlikely to turn to Buddhism, where you may face years of difficult penance and still face the uncertainty of human rebirth.

It’s much more appealing to have a change of heart and obtain instant redemption.

For example, in Star Wars, Darth Vader rejected a lifetime of evil and bad actions and was redeemed by a single good deed. From a Christian perspective, this makes perfect sense. From a Buddhist perspective, a single good deed doesn’t make up for a lifetime of non-virtue.

Should Darth Vadar go to heaven based on his final virtuous act?

If Adolf Hitler accepted Christ as his personal savior just prior to his death, would that erase the stains of the Holocaust?

The answer to both questions must be the same.

Living a Christian Life: While good works do not earn salvation, a genuine faith is expected to result in a transformed life, characterized by love, holiness, and obedience to God’s commandments.

This includes regular practices like prayer, Bible reading, participation in church life, and sharing one’s faith with others.

For many Christians, accepting Jesus is transformative. Whereas Buddhists spend years of meditation and heart training to transform themselves, some Christians gain these insights in a moment when they accept Christ as their savior.

Unfortunately, for many others, the peak emotional experience of salvation fades, the changes to their hearts are ephemeral, and they find themselves engaging in the same bad behaviors as before, but with a heightened sense of moral superiority to further cloud their minds.

Christian Heaven

When it comes to providing a carrot, it’s difficult to compete with the Christian Heaven.

The Christian concept of heaven is often depicted as a place of sublime beauty and eternal peace. It is envisioned as a realm beyond the physical world, transcending our earthly understanding. In this celestial paradise, the sky is a brilliant, unending azure, offering a sense of boundless freedom and infinite possibility.

One of the most comforting aspects of the Christian heaven is the reunion with loved ones. It is a place where the bonds of family and friendship are renewed and strengthened in the presence of God, free from pain, suffering, and the limitations of earthly life.

I tell my special needs son that he will see all of his family in Heaven House, the place where his Nana went several years ago. I don’t care about the existential reality of Heaven House or maintaining my purity of Buddhist doctrine. It makes him feel good to believe it, and it makes me feel good to tell him.

In Christian heaven, everyone enjoys the presence of God, who illuminates every aspect. There, the soul finds its ultimate fulfillment and eternal rest.

Escaping Buddhist Samsara

Buddhism is heavy on the stick. Everything in life is suffering, and you must practice diligently in order to escape the cycle of birth, aging, sickness, and death, or you will repeat a lifetime of suffering over and over again. Buddhism is hard.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Developing Renunciation for Samsara

The Buddha taught that one could escape samsara by obtaining full enlightenment. Once liberated, this life would be the last one. Unfortunately, for many, the relief of suffering is not enough. There isn’t a compelling carrot.

If there is an end to suffering, what happens after death? Is there any reward at the end of the rainbow?

The Buddhist Pure Land

Amida Buddha, also known as Amitabha or Amitayus in Sanskrit, is a central figure in Pure Land Buddhism, a branch of Mahayana Buddhism. He is particularly revered in Japan (where he is known as Amida), China, Korea, and other East Asian countries.

Amida Buddha’s story originates in several Mahayana sutras. These sutras describe how a monk named Dharmakara, after witnessing the suffering of sentient beings, made a series of vows and underwent countless eons of practice and merit accumulation.

Upon fulfilling these vows, he attained Buddhahood and became Amitabha, creating the Pure Land (Sukhavati) as a place of refuge and spiritual growth for all beings.

The teachings surrounding Amida Buddha focus on his compassionate nature and his promise to save all sentient beings.

Entering a Buddhist Pure Land is not as easy as accessing the Christian heaven. There is more preparation involved. Ultimately, the practitioner is instructed to purify their mind so that they experience a Pure Land on earth before they die.

Many practitioners consider a pure mind as a prerequisite for rebirth in a Pure Land. However, that’s a difficult path. Most laypeople prefer to believe that access to a Pure Land is easier.

However, there is a downside to the easier access. A Buddhist Pure Land is not permanent.

Rather than obtaining permanent life in the bliss of heaven like Christianity, Pure Lands are similar to Catholic purgatory, where impure individuals must still work on correcting their foibles.

A Buddhist Pure Land is a better place of rebirth where a practitioner can continue their practice with significant advantages in their next life.

My Personal Pure Land

I was born with many advantages in life. I was raised in an affluent Western culture, unfettered by survival concerns. I was born with a sharp intellect and exceptional hand-eye coordination into a loving and supportive family.

Unfortunately, this created its own set of challenges as I grew into a prideful and arrogant prick.

Pride and Arrogance, the Price for Being Gifted

I was blessed with an autistic son who provides me endless opportunities to practice giving, moral discipline, patient acceptance, and effort, four of the six perfections.

The Many Reasons I Love My Autistic Son

In short, my life is a Pure Land where I can practice Buddhism and improve my mental continuum. Who could ask for anything more?

The Forty-Eight Vows

Similar to asking Jesus for salvation, Buddhists are instructed to turn in faith to Amitabha to enter the Pure Land. However, even this less challenging path requires adherents to take vows—a great many of them.

The forty-eight vows of Amitabha are detailed primarily in the Larger Sukhavativyuha Sutra. These vows form the foundation of Amitabha’s commitment to save all beings and facilitate their path to enlightenment. The vows can be categorized into various themes, with the most important ones being:

The Vow of Universal Salvation: Amitabha’s vows are centered around the promise to ensure the salvation of all beings who call upon his name with sincerity and devotion, enabling them to be reborn in the Pure Land.

The Vow of Non-Discrimination: These vows emphasize the non-discriminatory nature of Amitabha’s compassion, asserting that all beings, regardless of their past actions, can be saved if they turn to him in faith.

The Vow of Sukhavati (The Pure Land): Several vows describe the nature of the Pure Land, a place free from suffering and filled with opportunities for spiritual practice and learning. The Pure Land is depicted as a realm of beauty, peace, and spiritual richness, conducive to attaining enlightenment.

The Vow of Assisting Enlightenment: Amitabha vows to help all beings in his Pure Land to attain enlightenment, providing the necessary conditions and teachings for their spiritual progress.

The Vow of the Name’s Merit: One of the most significant vows states that simply reciting Amitabha’s name with faith can lead to rebirth in the Pure Land.

The 18th Vow: The Primal Vow

Among all the vows, the 18th vow, often referred to as the Primal Vow, is particularly crucial in Pure Land Buddhism. It promises that Amitabha will ensure the rebirth in the Pure Land of all beings who, with sincere mind, entrust themselves to him, aspire to be reborn there, and recite his name. This vow forms the basis of the nembutsu practice, which involves the chanting of “Namo Amida Butsu” (I take refuge in Amida Buddha).

Significance in Practice

The vows of Amitabha Buddha, especially the 18th vow, have a profound impact on the practice and faith of Pure Land Buddhists. Devotees focus on cultivating faith in Amitabha, reciting his name, and aspiring to be reborn in the Pure Land, where they can pursue enlightenment free from the distractions and sufferings of the samsaric world.

The forty-eight vows of Amitabha Buddha exemplify his boundless compassion and determination to save all beings. They provide the foundation for the Pure Land practice, where faith, devotion, and the recitation of Amitabha’s name are central to the path toward enlightenment.

Do we need heaven?

All organized religion offers some version of a heavenly reward after death, as an inducement to obtain followers. However, a great many people are non-religious and adhere to no particular spiritual tradition or practice.

While all religious adherents proclaim to know what happens after death, and they actively work to increase their faith in their beliefs, there is no verifiable proof that any of it really exists.

There is an ontological reality. When the body perishes and loses the capability to generate conscious perception, something happens to the conscious mind.

There is simply no way to know.

What happens after death is not testable. People who’ve had near-death experiences often claim to know, but near death is not actual death. Nobody actually knows, despite their claims.

Death is an information event horizon, a point where information only flows in one direction, forward. No one who’s actually perished can ever convey that information back to the living.

The key thing you must accomplish as you approach death is to cultivate a calm and accepting mind for whatever happens. It’s beyond your control, and worrying about it will only fill your final moments with anxiety.

It could be that one of the various systems of belief on what happens after death is right.

It could be that conscious existence merely ceases, and consciousness ends.

You can choose to believe whatever you want. No one can prove you wrong.

If believing in heaven or a pure land pleases you and provides you peace of mind in your final moments, you should embrace that.

I will.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[peaceisadirtyword]

Heathen (Ivar/Edlynn)

A/N: Hello♥️ as I promised, here’s the first chapter of the new series I’m writing. The idea came to me when I was rewatching Vikings and then I planned it while rewatching The Last Kingdom. So I started writing it, doing a bit of worldbuilding to introduce some original characters and here I am. It’s set on season 6B (I'm changing things, so it will not follow the show’s storyline). And I was really excited to write the mature version of Ivar, so I’m sorry if he seems a bit out of character. This chapter might be a bit boring, but it serves as an introduction. I hope you enjoy it, thank you for reading🥰 I will post a new chapter every Thursday at 21:00 (CET). 

Warnings: mentions of violence and war, talk of arranged marriage, alcohol... Well, it’s Vikings😅

Words: 4197 

Summary

gif belongs to @therealcalicali 

"I've heard the pagans are back" 

Edlynn raised her head. She sat next to the window, and had spent most of the time looking at the rain falling outside as she leant her head against the wall. It had been raining a lot those days. The beautiful cloth she was trying to practice her embroidery on was already forgotten and abandoned on her lap, a bit dirty with blood from all those times she had poked her finger with the needle.

The queen looked nervous when one of the girls in the room mentioned the northmen. Edlynn had also heard her father and even the king himself talking about it, whispering and with a frown, like men do when they talk about a very serious matter. They had already evacuated some of the towns near the coast, but no one really told her what was happening. 

"We must trust on our men and on God" she smiled at her "They will protect England, they always have" 

"I heard the king is thinking about evacuating the city too" other of the girls whined "What if they find us?" 

"They won't, my dear" the queen looked uncomfortable "I don't know about the plans my husband has, he won't discuss them with me, but I'm sure he'll do what is best for our people" 

Edlynn bit her lip. Queen Elsewith was nervous, she had seen her ordering the servants to start packing slowly, in case everyone had to leave the town. And there were whispers and an uneasiness that everyone had noticed. 

Next to her, her friend Mildrith leant in to speak softly. 

"I hope we can see the heathens from up close this time" she giggled. 

Edlynn had to hold back a smile. For some reason, Mildrith had a fascination for the northmen that called themselves vikings, even if everyone else was scared of them. She had been infatuated with a viking boy that worked on the lands King Alfred had given to the northmen some time ago. Even if neither Mildrith nor Edlynn had been allowed to visit those lands, King Alfred invited some of the settlers to dine in his own home sometimes, to secure the good relations with them. The boy and Mildrith had had a short but intense romance that Edlynn helped to hide from her family and the king, and since then she had been obsessed with learning about their culture. 

Edlynn could understand why, their ways and their traditions were different from the ones she had grown up with, and anyone with a bit of curiosity in them would want to know more. But no one let her learn about their Gods or they beliefs, for it was a sin. 

"I don't think we will" she shook her head and spoke softly "The King won't let them"

"Maybe they will be invited for a feast" Mildrith bit her lip, excited "And we can see them. They say they're are the same ones that took York" 

"We should go and pray" one of the women in the room stood up, interrupting Edlynn as she was about to answer her friend "For the safety of our country and our king, ask God to protect us"

Some of the women muttered in agreement, and soon the room filled with the noise of everyone standing and walking to the door. But before she could even stand, the queen approached. Quickly, Mildrith and her bowed their heads at Queen Elsewith respectfully. 

"Edlynn, I'd like to talk to you for a moment, if you will" 

She nodded slowly, and Mildrith excused herself after widening her eyes. 

"Yes, queen Elsewith?" 

"I just wanted to see if you were alright, Edlynn, these days I've barely seen you" 

She bit her lip again. The queen was always nice and kind to her, but it was still the queen and she couldn't act like close friends with her. And she definitely couldn't speak her mind freely. 

"Yes, I'm fine" she smiled softly "These days I wasn't feeling too well, I... Spent some time in my chambers just resting" 

"I was worried about you, you disappeared just after your engagement to Lord Edmund, and as I've also been there, I thought maybe I could help" 

The engagement. She had tried her best not to think about it the past few days. Even if Edlynn knew since she was born that she'd have to marry a stranger, it was still awkward to meet a man during a small feast that was announced as her future husband just half an hour later. 

In any case, she was still lucky, Lord Edmund was handsome, young and, as far as everyone knew, nice. Edlynn wasn't that upset about it, but it was still overwhelming, and the fact that she'd have to abandon the court, her friends -oh, what would she do without Mildrith?- and her family to go and live in a stranger's home saddened her. 

"Lord Edmund is a very good man that I can't wait to get to know better, and I feel honored and lucky that he chose me to be his wife" Edlynn repeated the words that Hilda, the nun that raised her after her mother's death, had made her learn in preparation for this moment. 

Elsewith smiled sadly at the young girl. It was a woman's duty, but she saw a lot of herself on Edlynn and she knew she must have been scared and nervous, even if she understood it. But Edlynn had always been a proper and obedient lady and, like many other women in her position, learnt to hide her true feelings. She'd never do anything that went against her father and the King's wishes.

"The king would never have let him ask for your hand in marriage if he didn't know he's a good man, a good warrior and a good Christian" the queen reassured her "He loves your family a lot and just wishes a good life for you"

"I know, my queen, and I will always be thankful to him and to you for how much kindness you've shown me and my family" 

Her smile widened. 

"I also wanted to talk to you about Mildrith" Elsewith sighed and started walking to the door "She really shouldn't go around talking about how she'd like to meet a northman, it's... Not proper"

"I know" muttered Edlynn, following her "I'll talk to her" 

She nodded, and just before exiting the room, Elsewith took her hand and squeezed it softly. In some way, she had always considered Edlynn her friend. 

"Remember you can come and talk to me any time you need" the queen smiled again "Women understand each other much better than men" 

"I will" she nodded "Thank you, my queen" Edlynn bowed her head again before Queen Elsewith turned around, walking to the nearest chapel escorted by two of the guards. 

__________________________________________

King Alfred threw a feast to celebrate the engagement. Usually, this kind of things weren't celebrated that much, but Edlynn's father, Lord Eldred, had been close to King Aethelwulf and was close to King Alfred,  becoming one of his most trusted men after his mother's death. Besides, Alfred and Edlynn grew up together and even if with time the both of them had learnt to keep their relationship purely formal, he still had a soft spot for her. 

Edlynn's sister had been married to a lord from Mercia and her brother was a proud member of King Alfred's personal guard. Now it was her turn to make the family proud by doing her duty and what she had been born to: Stand next to her soon-to-be-husband and smile politely at strangers that couldn't care less about her and her happiness but that queued to wish the both of them a happy marriage. 

Even if she knew that was what she was supposed to do, it was still boring. 

"The king has told me you enjoy reading" Lord Edmund, sitting next to her, was the one that started the conversation after talking with the king and her father about war. 

Edlynn was surprised when he spoke to her. It was the first time the two of them talked. She wasn't very talkative, at least not at the beginning, and didn't really expect more from him than the usual formalities. She had seen marriages like this many times, and didn't really expected him to acknowledge her much in public.

"I do" she smiled politely. 

"It's nice, what kind of things you like to read?" 

"Mostly, about history" she bit her lip nervously "I find the Romans particularly interesting" 

Lord Edmund nodded. 

"I will make sure that you have enough to read back in my castle" he said softly "And don't be afraid of asking for anything that you need or want to feel comfortable" 

That surprised Edlynn even more. He smiled at her confused face and his grey eyes fixed on hers. 'At least he has pretty eyes' she thought. Maybe their children would inherit his grey eyes and not her brown ones. For some reason, she didn't feel that overwhelmed by the thought of a young child with his grey eyes and her auburn hair.

"I knew you were special since I saw you, when I first arrived here to take an oath to King Alfred after my father's death, that's why I asked your father for your hand in marriage, and I'm pleased to know there's much more about you behind your beauty" 

His words were so sweet, and one lock of his bright black hair fell next to his face, giving him an attractive look that made Edlynn understand why many women had been glaring at her since the engagement was announced. 

"You flatter me, my lord" she tried your best to sound confident "I appreciate your kindness, thank you" 

From the corner of her eye, she could see her father and Hilda, the nun, watching her. Edlynn straightened her back and kept talking to Lord Edmund, feeling a strange emptiness inside her. 

____________________________________

Ivar knew taking England wouldn't be easy, but it would definitely be easier if he was leading the entire army. 

King Harald had the last word, and even if he trusted him enough to let him think about the strategies, it wasn't the same. Ivar made a flawless plan, he thought about every single detail, and he knew exactly what the english would do. It wasn't too hard. 

"So, King Alfred is evacuating the city" Harald emptied his drink, taking another piece of meat before his deep blue eyes fixed on Ivar, who ate in silence next to his brother. Hvitserk ignored them, focusing on the food on his plate "Should we take it?"

Ivar raised an eyebrow and swallowed the food before taking his cup to drink some more ale. 

"We need to defeat Alfred first, we can't do much with just the city"

Harald shrugged. 

"Defeating him in battle won't change much either, we need to gain some more ground" 

Ivar hummed, nodding. 

"I agree, and we should try and find something that gives us some kind of advantage over them, because we are outnumbered and we can't defeat them just by winning battles, they can assemble another army faster than us" 

"And? You're the strategist here, Ivar" Harald chuckled. In some way, he was happy to have the youngest Ragnarsson back on his side.

"We need to find something that makes them surrender to our terms and buys us some time" Ivar raised an eyebrow. 

"Like a hostage?" Hvitserk raised his head for the first time since the food arrived. He let Ivar do the talk, and stuck to fighting. 

Ivar smirked at his brother. 

"Exactly. A hostage, dear brother" 

"I don't think that a couple of soldiers captured in battle will make them surrender to our terms" Harald shrugged again "We'd need someone else, someone like..."

"The queen" 

The king raised an eyebrow at him, while Ivar smiled softly.

"Christian women don't go to battle, and we can't try and break into their camp, there will be too many guards"

"Exactly, so we need to find a moment in which the men are occupied with something else, something like..."

"A battle" Hvitserk chuckled. 

Ivar nodded winking at his brother.

"So you mean to kidnap the queen during the battle" Harald nodded slowly "It could work"

"The queen won't be far from the battlefield, and there won't be so many guards" Ivar shrugged, taking another bite from his plate. 

"We could go and meet them on a battlefield, I already explored some of the lands around here and I think it would be easier to attract them to the woods" Ivar nibbled one of the ribs "Then, we ambush them, and keep them distracted enough time to sneak into their camp and take the queen"

"And then?" Harald looked interested. Sometimes, he found Ivar's mind fascinating.

"Then we negotiate" he shrugged "We just want some land, right? The queen in exchange for that land, I think it's a fair exchange, then, when we have the land, some resources and a place to settle down, we can continue fighting, because we will be stronger" 

"But he could betray us after he gets his queen back" Hvitserk raised an eyebrow. 

"I know Alfred, he won't" Ivar shook his head "Not as long as he thinks we're willing to stop the raids and the invasion if we get the land" 

"So we lie to him" Harald pointed, and Ivar nodded slowly. 

"But first" he raised an eyebrow "We need the queen"

_________________________________

 The beds on the camp were uncomfortable. Edlynn didn't complain, though, knowing everyone had bigger problems than worrying about her not getting any sleep. 

Just two days after the engagement feast, king Alfred ordered to evacuate the city. The northmen were too close, and it was too dangerous, it was the only explanation she got when her father bursted into the chambers and ordered to pack only the necessary. Edlynn barely saw him since then, as he and Edward, her brother, would ride with the king when everyone was moving and didn't leave the king's tent when they camped, too busy with battle plans and strategies. Queen Elsewith was also with them, and Edlynn's betrothed, Lord Edmund, too. Betrothed... It still sounded too irreal. At least, he rode next to the carriage she traveled in. 

Mildrith was the only one that found the entire thing exciting. Edlynn often found her wandering outside the camp, and didn't mind how many times she begged her to stay in the tent, Mildrith wouldn't listen. 

Edlynn could sneak a couple of books inside of her trunk, hidden between some dresses, and it was the only entertainment she had. 

"They say tomorrow there will be a battle" Mildrith muttered as she watched some of the soldiers training. It was raining and the both of them stayed inside of the tent, just at the entrance so Edlynn could read and Mildrith could watch the people around. 

"The King and our men will be victorious" Edlynn repeated what Hilda said every time she mentioned the war "We have God on our side"

Mildrith frowned, as she always did when she heard that phrase, which was the only thing everyone seemed to say these days.

"I'm not so sure about that, Lynn" she muttered "They are smart and their Gods are fierce, they say that they're lead by the same one that took York" she lowered her tone "Ivar the Boneless" 

Her friend raised an eyebrow, the name was familiar. 

"Why do they call him boneless?" 

"Because he can't walk" Mildrith shrugged like it was obvious "They say he crawls around like a snake, and that he's fierce and vicious... Some even say he's the Devil incarnated" 

Edlynn rolled her eyes.

"Those are tales, Mildrith, he's just a man" she chuckled "A cruel one, a heathen, but just a man, he's just like you and me" 

"Some women say he's handsome too" she giggled. 

"Have they seen him?" 

"Yes, in York, they said he's cruel but beautiful, just looking at him felt like a sin" 

Edlynn closed her book. 

"You shouldn't go around saying these things, Mildrith, anyone would think you're in love with that heathen"

She laughed out loud, making some of the soldiers near them turn to look at her. 

"I'm not in love with him, I don't know him" she shrugged "But I'd like to see him, at least once" 

Edlynn rolled her eyes again, shaking her head before going back to the book.

__________________________________

Edlynn didn't know how to feel when she saw the men leaving. King Alfred said goodbye to his queen and Edlynn hugged her father and brother. Even Lord Edmund kissed the back of her hand and bowed his head with a gentle smile on his lips. She didn't know how to react, as she never had to say goodbye to the men when they left to battle. Should I cry? Smile? She tried her best to imitate queen Elsewith. 

"Pray for us" her father kissed Edlynn's forehead softly for the last time before getting on his horse "And may God be with us" 

She nodded slowly and kept silent as they left the camp. 

After a couple of minutes in silence, the queen walked towards her, making Edlynn nervous. Will she scold me for not doing this well? 

"Edlynn, I'd like you to join me in my tent to pray for the safe return of the king and his men"

She looked around. Some of the women looked at her, probably jealous of seeing she had the queen's favor and thinking that was the reason why she had been betrothed to Lord Edmund. 

"Of course" Edlynn nodded her head respectfully, ignoring them.

The queen smiled brightly at her, relieved to hear her agreeing. She had a bad feeling about this new war, and worried about her husband, but  also hoped to find some kind of peace on the tent. 

"You can go, there's food and wine, I'll go talk to the priest first, and then I'll join you"

Edlynn nodded with a small smile. Her eyes found Hilda's, who smiled proudly at the young girl she loved so much. Mildrith waited until the queen had walked away and then approached her friend. 

"What's with you and the queen?" 

Edlynn shrugged. 

"I suppose she's just trying to be nice, after all she understands what's like to be betrothed to someone you don't know" 

"Oh" Mildrith bit her lip, almost like she had forgotten Edlynn was about to marry a stranger "Yes, it makes sense... Anyway, be careful, people will start thinking you're trying to win the queen's favor" 

Edlynn glanced to a group of women from the court, who looked at the both of them and whispered. 

"I'll go to the queen's tent now" she decided to ignore it "Join me later? We could go to the river and maybe bathe" 

Anything to avoid thinking about the battle that was probably going to take place soon. 

Mildrith nodded with a smile and waved at her as she approached the tent. The guards bowed their heads respectfully and moved to let her enter. It was much bigger than the tent Edlynn shared with Hilda, and the bed looked much comfortable than the one they had given to her. The bedding was soft and warm, and made her sigh in jealousy as her eyes wandered around the tent. 

There was a table with some food and wine on it, and Edlynn's mouth watered as she realized she still hadn't eaten. In front of the bed, there was a table with a cross and a few candles, which was where she supposed both the king and the queen said their prayers. 

Edlynn glanced at the entrance to make sure no one entered and quickly grabbed a grape from one of the bronze plates and turned around to savor it. She loved grapes, and the best ones could only be found at the king's table. 

But as she glanced down to hide her face in case the queen entered, Edlynn noticed something on the rug that covered the floor of the tent. Frowning, and wondering why there was a dark spot just before her, she bended down to examine it, widening her eyes when she realized it was blood. There wasn't just one spot, but a trail that disappeared behind a curtain, and suddenly she realized something else. 

The guards didn't ask who I was before letting me in. 

Before Edlynn could even react, someone grabbed her from behind, putting their hands on her mouth to stifle the scream that left her throat. She writhed and fought, but there was two of them, too strong for her. Suddenly, she heard a whisper on a foreign language and then an intense pain on the back of her head as one of the two men hit the back of her head with the handle of his sword before there was only darkness. 

________________________________

Ivar was proud. Once again, he ensured a clear victory over the saxons with a flawless plan, and he demonstrated he still was the brilliant strategist everyone admired. Even Harald looked impressed to see that the risky plan to defeat King Alfred's army had been successful. Ivar seemed to read the young king's mind perfectly, and if everything had gone well with the other part of the plan, they'd have a queen waiting for them in the camp that would make things even easier for them. Hvitserk also looked satisfied, having missed the adrenaline of the battlefield and the satisfaction of killing too much. Harald admitted he was wary of those two, with Ivar's sharp mind and Hvitserk's skills in battle, they were nearly unbeatable. 

Thanks Odin any of them had given any signs of wanting the crown of Norway Harald had fought so hard to get. But he still didn't trust Ivar completely. 

But now they had a common cause, and he hoped that controlling some lands in England would satisfy Ivar's hunger for power. 

"So..." Ivar didn't speak until he had finished two horns of ale. The intensity of the battle, standing for so long and walking with the crutches left him exhausted "Do we have a queen or not?" 

The men that had just entered the tent, still wearing the saxon's armor, bowed their heads before speaking. 

"We do" one of them smiled victoriously "She's unconscious, but guarded, we had to hit her to bring her here" 

Hvitserk raised an eyebrow. Ivar had made very clear that he didn't want the queen harmed. Not yet at least, he had said with a chuckle the night before, Alfred won't surrender to our terms if we harm her. 

"She's fine, though" the other man glared at his companion "It was just a small blow on the head" 

Harald nodded, ignoring the stern glare Ivar sent their way. 

"Try and wake her up" the king ordered "We'll talk to her before feasting and resting" 

The men bowed again and left. Harald then turned to look at the brothers. In some way, it hurt to see them so close again, reminding him of his own brother, who had also been his most loyal friend. The Ragnarssons didn't have the best relationship, but he noticed they looked much closer since they went back to Kattegat after being with the Rus. He didn't know what had happened there between them, but now he was sure no one could get between them. He envied them for that. 

Now they seemed to be having a conversation in silence, with just some stares and grimaces. 

"Your plan worked" he said out loud, looking at Ivar. The youngest son of Ragnar shot him a cocky smile. 

"Of course it worked, saxons are predictable" he shrugged "And Alfred won't dare to attack us when we have his queen" his eyes shone with pride. 

"I wonder if she's pretty" Hvitserk muttered with a dreamy smile as he chewed on a piece of bread. Harald smirked at that, he understood the feeling of coming back from battle and feeling the need to have a woman after filling his belly with warm food and cold drinks. It helped to relax. 

Ivar rolled his eyes. He was never as interested in women as his brothers were, and the few times he actually was with women had ended in disaster. So he couldn't understand the obsession. 

"She's a christian, so probably not" he shrugged "Anyway, that's the last thing we should worry about" 

"There are beautiful christian women out there, little brother" Hvitserk chuckled, amused by his brother's annoyance. 

"They're weak" he narrowed his eyes "They are always scared, they don't fight and they don't have the spirit and the courage of viking women"

"How many christian women have you met, Ivar?" Harald laughed. 

Ivar frowned. He had had too much contact with christians for his liking.

"Anyway" he scowled, annoyed, as he stood up leaning on his crutch "Let's go, we have a queen to meet".

__________________________________

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