#and that post got my autism flowing

[smytherines]

I think about Owen and the Chimera surveillance network a lot, because to me it isn't a question of having a surveillance network or not. It is happening. The question is: who will control it?

The surveillance network is an arms race between Chimera, the U.S. government, and I would imagine also the Russians and the British as well. One of these entities *will* succeed, Chimera is just the furthest along. Its like the race for the atomic bomb- each superpower pursued its own nuclear weapons program simultaneously, the US (collaborating with the British) just crossed the finish line first.

Here's my argument.

The first crucial piece of the puzzle is Barb Larvernor. The first time we hear about the concept of computers making spies obsolete, it isn't from DMA/Owen. It's from Barb. In A1P5, Barb says:

"Well picture this- the world's first, large-scale, information collective and archival system... Its just an idea I've been toying around with. If it worked, we'd be able to take down syndicates by doing the detective work from the safety of our desks. It would take the guesswork out of your job, hopefully saving some lives in the process- including your own. Can you imagine if this technology existed?"

There's also this conversation between Barb and Tatiana from the interludes during One Step Ahead.

Tatiana: I need you to search for an island, the size of a compound, that can store hundreds of computing systems

Barb: Easy, I have actually already been researching locations that fit that exact criteria... see, I have been thinking of a technology that can revolutionize- found one!"

From these two exchanges, we know that at the very least Barb is working on this "information collective and archival system" for the US government to use, although she seems to still be in the research and development phase.

Now, let's move on to what we know about Chimera's system, and what Owen wants from it.

First, we have this dialogue from A1P8, of DMA outright telling Curt his plan:

*recording of Cynthia plays*

Curt: where did that come from?

BVN: a little birdie told me

DMA: that little birdie being an advanced network of information surveillance that we've been-

Curt: boring!

Then, from A2P5, we have Owen explaining the system and why he wants to control it:

Tatiana: bird? Little birdies? His scientists developing... you're after the technology

Owen: Pop goes the weasel! An advanced Nazi information surveillance network to collect and archive state secrets.

They discuss why Owen wants the land (silicon babyyy), and then:

Owen: Don't you get it? Those stores of silicon from beneath the Earth's crust will allow us to mass produce Von Nazi's technology and deploy his system on a global scale! I'd have all the world's secrets. I'd be God. Now what a world that would be, eh?

The conversation continues:

Curt: my government will never allow this

Tatiana: not even the Soviets will

Owen: not at first, no. Everybody likes to do the watching, but nobody likes to be watched

Tatiana: you can't just invade the privacy of civilians without reason or suspicion

Owen: well, I like to think we are just turning everyone into a spy, they just aren't aware of it

Moving on to A2P6, the staircase scene:

Owen: YOU STILL DON'T SEE, DO YOU, CURT? There won't be any agency to go back to, once the system is global. I'm going to single-handedly dismantle everything you've ever believed in

Then

Owen: the future is happening, Curt. And it's not going to wait for you. What use will one man be, when a box in a room can do his job in seconds, huh?

Curt: sounds boring

Owen: you're a caveman, and I've invented fire

To me, this absolutely reads as Owen being aware that somebody- be it Chimera, or the US, or the Russians- will have this surveillance network. The future is inevitable. The future is surveillance (he was soooo right), the future is computers. Curt just can't see it yet, because he doesn't know technology the way that Owen and Barb do.

Going back to "I'd have all the world's secrets. I'd be God." Makes me believe that Owen is doing this so that *he* will control the flow of information. That he will be able to protect himself against what is coming. That he will never have to be vulnerable to his secret again.

Because here's the thing: we don't know if Chimera is going to use this information to punish or harm queer people. Given that Owen believes he will be in charge of the surveillance system, I'd say at the very least he does not believe it will be.

His goal seems to be "a world without agencies, a world without spies, a world without secrets." It seems to be the destruction of spying as an institution, and undercutting the nations which make use of spies to influence global events. At no point does he say that he will expose queer people if he is in charge of the surveillance network.

But, the US government absolutely will.

The US government is already hunting down queer people, even without a fancy surveillance network. Having control over Chimera's network would only make that task easier for them. Curt's secret, the secret of any queer person in this time period, is almost certainly safer in the hands of a gay man than it would be in the hands of a bloodthirsty global superpower that is already hunting down queer people.

Finally, at the end of the show, after Cynthia says that pretty soon nerds in lab coats will be running the show, we find out that Barb is getting the resources to fully work on the technology she has been talking about the entire show:

When Curt killed Owen he did not kill the surveillance network. Not for Chimera. But also, by handing A.S.S. evidence of what Chimera was doing, he likely influenced the US government to fund Barb and make her surveillance system a reality. A surveillance system that will invariably be used to hurt people like Curt and Owen.

Its possible that Curt never takes down Chimera precisely because the US now has a surveillance system to tell them that their ex-agent, the agent who went rogue, is also gay. And I don't imagine they would be very Gay Rights about it.

From a real world perspective, Owen and Barb were right: surveillance technology was the future in 1961. It is the present we currently live in. Warrantless, invasive, built into every piece of tech we use. The future happened, and it didn't wait for Agent Curt Mega.

[g00-b0y]

Alrighty so I've never posted a fic on here but I'm going to give it a go! This one's going to be a one shot maybe? I started a second chapter but I think it works well as a stand alone. It's TicciJack so if you do not like ships just scroll past.

They are my ADHD x Autism fav your honor

Jack walked through the woods slowly, his feet dragging through the fallen leaves. None of his usual carefulness was present as he stomped home. The sound of leaves crunching under him annoyed him immensely, but he didn’t have the energy to avoid them. He glared down at the leaf covered earth, as if it was the fault of the leaves for his bad mood.

Today had been particularly stressful, he hadn't been able to complete his task for the day and he'd have to double up on work tomorrow. His mood worsened with every step, every noise making anger boil up inside of him. He groaned and stopped walking, pulling his hair back into a thick ponytail to keep it out of his face.

He stood for a few seconds, closing his eyes and letting the cool fall breeze flow over him. His chest rose slowly as he took deep breaths, calming himself. He just needs to calm down before he gets home.

Jack plopped down onto the ground, hearing the crunch of leaves under him. Everything was too much today. He just wanted to be home, taking a shower in silence while all his worries washed off. But, Toby was there. Jack loved Toby with all his heart, but he knew he’d be all over him when he got home. Pretty much every other day, that was fine, but today he wasn’t prepared for all the stimulation.

No, it wasn’t Toby’s fault he had a bad day and he wasn’t going to take it out on him. He tried to relax, listening to the wind around him and the small noises of birds chirping and leaves rustling in the trees. This is nice, Jack loves nature and being outdoors, there’s no need to be angry at the birds and leaves for just existing.

After a few minutes of sitting, he pushed himself up and stood. Some of his annoyance had subsided, and he just really wanted to be home.

He continued the trek home, his mind drifting and wandering off to the mistakes he had made today. After a while, he and Toby's cabin came into view, the small worn down house blending into the trees around it, nearly invisible if you weren't looking for it.

It was dark brown, it had been made out of the trees around it to blend in better. Vines and moss had started to grow along the sides, as well as some poison ivy Jack kept forgetting to take care of. There were a few flowers planted sporadically around the house, not in any particular pattern. Those were Toby's, he had a special interest in gardening and had even started growing fruits and vegetables in the backyard. Jack couldn't eat any of the food he grew but he thought it was a cute hobby. Jack walked up and slowly opened the front door, looking around the living room for Toby. The house was oddly quiet for Toby being home. He was probably out in his back garden.

“Toby? You home?” Jack called into the house, hanging his bag and mask on the coat rack. He was greeted by an echo of his own voice calling back to him. Toby must be in the backyard, Jack concluded. He brushed the dirt off his pants and walked to the backdoor. The floor creaked beneath him as he walked. This was going to be an incredibly long evening.

He walked into the backyard and there he was, Toby. His neck jerked slightly to the side and he let out a loud sharp whistle. A smile crept onto Jack’s face, Toby was here and everything was going to be okay. He walked to his… friend. He walked over to Toby and sat beside him. The two looked at each other, a large smile taking over his face as he plopped down next to Jack, having previously been squatting while tending his veggies.

“Hey.” Toby said simply, looking up at Jack as he tried to hide the smile on his face.

“Hey.” Jack replied, watching Toby twist tomatoes off the plant. Toby hummed quietly, the two sitting together in mostly quiet as they just enjoyed each other’s company. Jack held his hands out and held the vegetables that Toby harvested. The two walked into the house, Toby telling Jack about his day as he began to work on his dinner.

“How wa-was work?” Toby asked, glancing at him. His neck jerked to the side and he smiled at Jack. Jack’s stomach dropped a little. He had almost forgotten about his failure today. He would have to break the news to Toby that he would have to be gone all day tomorrow, probably late into the night. He let out an involuntary sigh, seemingly peeking Toby’s interest. “What happened?” he asked, turning around fully and looking up at Jack.

“I, umm, I was unsuccessful.” Jack sighed. He stared at the ground and frowned, Toby was going to be pissed. They were only allowed to stay here if they both completed their work for the faceless thing keeping them imprisoned in these woods. He braced for the yelling and stared at the ground, incredibly ashamed of his failure.

“I’m so-suh-sorry to hear that, you want me to cuh-cook suh-some-something for you?” he asked. Not a hint of anger in his voice. Jack took a second to calm himself, Toby isn’t like that, Toby doesn’t yell at him.

“I…yea, that would be nice.” Jack nodded, meeting his eye and giving him a small smile. Toby nodded and pulled out another pan, Jack scrambled to grab some of his canned organs from the fridge. He handed the mason jar to Toby and watched as he started to cook them. They two stood in the kitchen silently for the rest of the cooking of the meal. Jack picked at his fingers and stood closer to Toby, glancing at him and watching him switch between pans. He added spices and veggies, seemingly not thinking about any of it as he threw it in.

“Why don’t you ch-cha-change out of your s-sm-sm-smelly work clothes.” Toby suggested lightly, knowing Jack must have forgotten after coming home. Jack nodded and walked to their bedroom, changing while Toby finished up dinner.

They reconvened in the living room. They called it a living room, but it was really just an old busted up couch that Toby had put in the effort to fix by adding patches wherever the stuffing had started to creep out of the seams. There were a few posters up on the wall, but neither of them had wanted to go through the effort of finding a television. Even if they did manage to find one, they’d have to barter with Ben to get the thing running well enough to be worth the effort. Neither of them particularly wanted to go through the exhausting challenge of finding something the spector would find worth it’s while. They knew the ghost was just a lonely kid who adored attention, but neither of them had the energy to deal with it on a regular basis. So instead they allowed Ben to pester Jeff instead of drawing it’s attention too often.

Together they sat on the couch, Toby practically on Jack’s lap as they ate in silence. Jack had not noticed, but Toby had obviously picked up on his mood and decided to keep most comments inside his head for the night. After they finished Toby took the plates to the sink, washing them up and humming to himself. Jack loved when Toby hummed, sang, anything musical. Jack had a very hard time carrying a tune, not having a musical bone in his body. But Toby? Toby could replicate almost anything with his voice, and somehow translate that to his busted up old guitar he insisted on keeping.

Jack stood and walked to the kitchen, watching Toby as he washed. It was hypnotizing. Toby had a certain way he did everything, especially cleaning. Jack occasionally tried to help, but he could never manage to do it the way Toby wanted it done, so he just watched instead. Toby never got angry when he messed up cleaning, but he could tell it made Toby anxious for some reason. After Toby finished cleaning, he washed his hands thoroughly. They walked to their bathroom together, neither of them needing to ask the other. This is simply what they did every night. They would have dinner, Toby would clean, and they’d shower together.

They undressed and got into the shower together. Toby stood in front of Jack, hogging all the water as Jack shivered. Jack simply rolled his non-existent eyes and started to wash Toby’s hair for him. Toby sang quietly, making up the words and notes as he went. Toby turned and looked up at Jack, but did not wash his hair in return. Jack did not need his hair cleaned as often as Toby as his hair was a different type. When his hair did need to be cleaned they would set aside an entire afternoon for Toby to clean and restyle Jack’s hair however he wanted. At first he was not very good at the styling part, but he had grown better after time and many YouTube videos.

They got out and dried off, talking quietly as they walked to their bedroom. Toby dressed in his boxers and laid on their bed. He fidgeted and squirmed as Jack got dressed. Jack eventually crawled into bed next to Toby and they assumed their cuddling positions. Jack laid on his side and had his legs up halfway to his chest. Toby laid on his back right next to him and laid his legs overtop of Jack’s. Toby scooted as close as he could to Jack and hummed. Jack told Toby about his failure to complete his work that day, his voice staying even and factual the entire time. Even if he wanted nothing more than to crawl out of his own skin. Toby nodded and listened, the only noises he made being the occasional whistle.

“It’s alright Jack. Maybe I’ll come help you tomorrow?” he suggested, tucking his head up under Jack's chin and closing his eyes. Jack froze. Toby was never this touchy, not that he minded. Toby only really wanted to be held when something was wrong, normally he insisted on holding the much larger man. Jack loved holding Toby though, so he did not comment. Instead he closed his eyes too. He played with Toby’s hair gently and slowly fell to sleep.

[linadoodledump]

((Since this entire timeline worth of sketches were made on the promise of having an interactive bishop verse accessible for my own Lamb OC, I am gonna make a quick rundown/summary on how they had progressed from a shy, timid sheep to the more calm, outspoken character they are in their own written universe. So expect this post to be filled with either a lot of lore or even fun facts since I did spend nearly two weeks on this right art before I heard the sins of the flesh was being released this month. Anyway, now that we got that outta the way, here we go.

Mortal (20-24yrs old) - Shorter than their later counters, born with small horns that barely did much to defend themselves, and being somewhere on the autism spectrum... Being somewhat a powerfully strong giant amongst their own flock, they were a sheep who had been sheltered most of their mortal life who lived somewhat high in the flock hierarchy due to their parents wanting them to have a life that lived far from the bishops influence. Due to their sheltered nature, they were not familiar with the gods that much or at the very least their family had pledged their lives into a long gone deity who had died out despite their casual worship. Religion wasn't as forced upon their village since their own people had closed themselves off from the rest of the island shortly after their world had been cut off from the universe over a godly banishment many generations ago. Their people did not agree with the way the lesser gods that would take to caring for their very people, and it was what had brought them to be the last to the slaughter when the Bishops had commanded for their sacrifice.

Most of their life still remains vague to the Lamb after their final death bringing them to their current Godhood, as their memories had been burned as did their village had been to be erased by the followers of the Old Faith.

Vessel (10-20 into the cult lifestyle after the final death) - Now reborn into a new body that had been literally remade to better accustom the influence of the red crown and Nariender's desires of having a cult built in his name, the Lamb bore a more confidant persona void of the previous shyness they once were. Already growing their horns in with a nice touch of the crown's power flowing through them, their mind has been quick to adapt to the new cult lifestyle their old God of Death had placed them in, the red crown had given them knowledge to use weapons and how to use them. Their hair had grown long alongside them, showing the tests of time displaying their self neglect as they devoted their person to growing a flock of followers for their own gain. With their adapt personality and having the charm of a golden heart that led them being more soft on their followers than their master would've liked... they had married their first follower, a lil gray haired deer named Jewel, who they up most favored until the time of the deer's own death. Jewel did not get to see until later, upon their late revival, that the Lamb had gone and defeated the God of Death shortly after their passing.

If the Cat couldn't have brought them back even as the Lamb had gone and defeated the bishops as Nariender had asked, they backstabbed him for not keeping up the end of his own deal. They still spared the cat regardless of the pain, and even married him to spite his protests, but it did not mean they didn't put TTOW through hell though. To work out his debt, the Lamb had made the cat their priest to forever makeup for the pain they endured for their old master.

God (200-300 into their cult) - Now nurturing a colony made of 300 hundreds and 100 spouses made of devoted followers who they favored heavily to live forever by their side, they've grown into a multi-titled deity who had managed to bring back the old bishops from the depths of purgatory whilst stealing their crowns from them as payback for putting them to their final death. They are the last god in the lands, and in order to keep it that way they stole the bishops crowns to have for themselves to wield, and it is only fair they gave the crowns a new home where they properly belonged. Wanting to keep the bishops from power, while alongside marrying them as a quiet side reminding them to stay on their good side, they had decided to keep them as followers to keep an eye on them as they are; free of freedom as punishment for their wrong doings.

The Lamb by this time is more formally known as the Emperor now that the lands have come to recognize them as the last physical god of all the lands. They have long since had a hivemind made ever since the crowns had started to talk to them amongst their own thoughts, and they have extended this right to their spouses too. Even as their physical bodies might've died for a period of time, their spirit still lives on in the hivemind until the lamb can get a ritual ready for their bodies to be reborn anew again. When you are a spouse of the lamb, you are forever apart of them, and it's only right their favorites get the perks of being something special for their own enjoyment. :3

Multi Grand Divinity (2,000-???, it has been many centuries since they usurp their benefactor) - Long since their colony had stretched itself out far and wide until the lands had transformed into their people's home, the Lamb has grown into a newer form as their cult did alongside them. They can't do crusades as much as they used too, for with their tall size they have more people to do missionaries and the work for them, as their body has grown to be more accustomed to growing more power in their wake. The crowns had gotten bored with their last arrangement with their little host, for trading some simple devotion the Lamb had asked for only peace in their body alongside keeping their own individuality, and they had decided to forever take root in their home. When crowns get bored and decided to reproduce asexually, more lil crowns started to spread more deeper into the Emperor's frame like an odd fungus; slowly taking over their body just to allow themselves more room since their last apartment arrangement. The lamb has grown a couple new arms since then, but they only ever hide them when they are not running to travel in their own free time. They've even regained some of their vision since this new crown arrangement, but it came at the cost of it looking more stranger than the crowns first found it. Regardless though, their height and power makes up for what they sometimes lack.

[angiethewitch]

hi i am enamored by your sounds of life post. i grew up not being able to hear much or at all and now after a surgery i can hear with crystal clarity. all of the frequencies high and low distant and near. i think i felt just as happy as you did initially but it didn't last very long, i started to become very irritated and depressed.. you can't just turn the sound off, everything makes noise, the wind makes noise and you can't even see the wind, im surprised we can't hear the roar of the sun. sleeping was difficult, reading was difficult, *thinking* was difficult.. even in the quietest places like a library with only two people inside, every page turn, every slight weight shift leaving the wood in chairs creaking.

i don't mean to worry anyone, i wear a combo of earplugs & sound suppressing earmuffs when I'm not out and about now and i feel better mostly. i feel a combo of both jealous that i didn't get to feel as joyful for as long as you have AND super happy you weren't as affected as me, but maybe you did feel something similar and just keep it private because it doesn't dominate how you feel as a whole. i guess i just want to know if you experienced anything similar?

i didn't mean for this to affect anyone negatively so if you don't want to post it that's ok, if you still want to answer just call out the hearing anon thank you for reading

hey, im sorry your experience has been bad. I do get you, im autistic and sometimes it does get too much, and I suppose im lucky in a sense because if I get overwhelmed I can just switch my hearing off. obviously switching it off comes with its own problems, but it can help with the sensory overload.

I suppose I don't really talk about it because im just so grateful i can hear after I spent 24 years in a muffled world. ive been hit by a car twice because I couldn't hear them. I couldn't appreciate all the sounds my little cat made. before my rats died, I never got to hear them make all the noises they do until I got aids. I spent my childhood having people tell me I just wasn't listening, people calling me stupid and slow. so now I can hear, im embracing the positives of the experience. there are certainly downsides, like sensory overload and finding noises that set my autism off and I suffer from migraines anyway so the extra flow of information sets them off occasionally and that's difficult...but I spent so long not being able to hear and experience the laughter of my friends, my husbands heartbeat, never being able to appreciate the subtler sounds of life, always missing out on conversation, that I choose to focus on the good. im so glad I can hear now and experience the soundscape this world has to offer me.

[springtrappd]

@limbsandheads this entire blog has actually been an elaborate operation to convert as many people to vannyism as possible via the "shite posts" of the youth. Glad to see it's working

jokes aside: HEHEHEHE THANK YOU... yeah a big part of getting comfy in my niche here has been getting comfortable enough to actually, like, POST my anaylsis /because/ of the complete lack of it elsewhere. being counterculture can be a tough place to be in! the amount of times i've had to hold myself back or scrap something bc i'm unsure if i'm gonna get dragged into explaining, idk, what a fucking metaphor is or some shit... ugh. awful do not recommend. i'm not sure what's worse: people who refuse to believe that parallels exist, or people that understand that parallels exist but only as fodder for theories (which are, as we all know, the most important part of any satisfying story)

i think people in general have a hostile response to any kind of serious analysis precisely because it's serious; it feels like... there's this pervasive sense -- particularly when you talk to the people that i'm thinking of here -- that academia is somehow Other or (views itself as) Superior in some way, thus making the act of engaging in it about posturing rather than, well. study. people have a very strict idea of what art is, even if only subconsciously, and react accordingly when the Other comes in to try and take away their favourite toy. games are fun; analysis is not. why can't you just let people enjoy things, you're just doing this for attention, etc etc etc. it's a position borne of ignorance, one that assumes that you can separate art from play at all -- and one that finds itself most vulnerable to exploitation. it's fundamentally reactionary rhetoric, is what i'm getting at here, and why i can so easily swap out stupid fnaf jargon for a conservative strawman and still get the point across.

anti-intellectualism sucks because it sucks all the joy out of art. like, for all i joke about being fuelled by spite, you'll find that even my most virulent snark comes from a place of love. i talk about this shit because i love it; because i love the actors and writers and art directors and character designers and production teams and editors, every single one of them, and there's nothing quite as intimate as a dissection. to peel back the layers of a piece of art is to ultimately shine a light on the things beneath -- all the blood and bone and gristle, where the artist has been pressed between the pages... to look at someone and know them, to sit and think about what they wanted to say -- what is that, if not love?

you aren't born knowing how to say "i love you". it's something you've gotta learn. and this is what we in the biz call a """METAPHOR""",

also, while we're here: fun fact! i actually write a lot of my stuff off-the-cuff, which is why the flow is often weird/words are missing/it might take a wild left turn away from the original subject? (like i'm low-key doing rn!) it's something that makes me cringe, but also fuels my desire to get around to writing a proper essay abt this terrible franchise eventually... i've got pages of bullet points & notes scattered around the place (& hundreds of discord messages to pull from, oh god), it's just the practical part of it that makes me want to crawl back into my skin. until then you are stuck with the Crazed Ravings (Autism Flavour), (un)fortunately (depending on how you look at it)

[kinderedgeisc00t]

Okay, how do I do this,

Let's see uh

Okay I have nothing to copy and paste really, so I'm just going to write from scratch. Bear with me.

Hiiiii I'm Edmund Endless. I'm 18, as of last February. Seems important to put out into the world.

I'm a little weirdo. Or, well a tall one according to some people (is 5'8" tall?), But either way, I fully admit that I am in fact rejecting the term normal when it comes to my identity. I'm in fact very eccentric in between the fact that I consider things like slacks to be casual pants and almost always wear some kind of Hawaiian shirt out in public because I like the design of a short sleeve button up with desgny stuff, that definitely counts.

As far as hobbies go, I've had a bit of time to accumulate some, such as being an artist on paper and digitally, a rudimentary writer in the works, and then I look cooking and playing Minecraft (I am most certainly not a gamer but that will hopefully be something I can work on)

I also like to dress super femme [though, also, I see clothing as a thing all should be able to enjoy free of gendered norms, sooo-]. So far not anything huge since I'm working on getting a job as we speak, but once I have money flowing in, I plan to do more. I think skirts, fishnets, and makeup are all amazing things, and that's not even the start of it.

Edit: I've been considering Gothic Victorian attire... I think it's also called Gothic Lolita? Outfits I've found look cute and i wish I had them now-

Anyway, as mentioned in my blurb at the top, I am neurodivergent. As far as I know I Do have an official diagnosis but I don't know where they are because I was not the one who got them- but anyway I have Autism and ADHD. I like to think of them as additional overlays over my brain (I imagine ADHD as like the weird additional RAM space over with my left hemisphere for example) that have a few drawbacks but generally make me who I am. Everyone is a unique individual and I think that's one of the best things ;]

Formerly I was a proud owner of a surprisingly old cockatiel whom I love and cherish- he got to be 31, nearly 32, this year. And throughout the last summer, I also care for two cats- neither of which have any problem with my bird. Usually it's more a concern of if he'll bite them lol

Since my birds passing I've adopted two rescues who needed a new person and while they're not fully tamed yet, we all enjoy each other and I hope to further the bond with time and effort.

Anyway it's a fair warning that because of that I may or may not understand certain social cues, sarcasm, certain jokes, etc. I definitely understand text tones a little better even before people started employing the /srs or whatever stuff, but it's better to put that out there. I can also be a little blunt, but between autism and experiences, I do try to not be harsh if I can.

Anyway I'm running out of long things to list so I'm just going to put some additional facts down here

- I currently have at least one experience working on an alpaca farm, and as a result I have a couple vague understandings of the stuff that goes on there and why they're quite profitable.

- I really really want to dye a bit of my hair hot pink. I think it would be awesome and very outside the box. [Edit: I DID IT! I'M GONNA DO IT AGAIN eventually]

- I like scary stuff and I like silly stuff, and I especially like it when both are involved. Mainly because I see a lot of the same humor nowadays and horror doesn't always phase me (I was one of those kids who got into FNAF when I was younger so a lot of the feeling of being scared over those kind of things desensitized me a little.)

- I at one point wanted to be a YouTuber as a career, but most likely that will not happen due to the ridiculousness of the platform not likely going to mesh very well with my vocabulary at least half the time consisting of Fuck here and there- which is to say I will probably still eventually get back into that because I wanted to post things on there too.

- I've been getting into baking and I really want to try to make creamy jalapeno popper stuffed chocolate donuts from scratch. I also want to make a pizza from scratch :]

- I love Legos and I like making transformers out of them when I can figure out how to do it.

- I like music that is either from the 50s jazz era, older rock, shitposty songs, and then will wood. I/me/myself babyy :D

- I have read the entire Twilight series and shamelessly admit that I used to think it was the coolest thing when I was younger. Not So much Anymore.

- I'm a big fan of books by Rick riordan, James Patterson, and other obscure artists that right strange cool stories- such as The hitchhiker's guide which I also read the entire trilogy of four books.

- for some reason my default thought to looking cooler involves spikes and leather and you know I can't entirely say why. But I think it makes anyone look instantly cooler to be dressed in at least a cool leather jacket and heeled matching boots.

- I am in fact the person behind the two projects R.O.O.T and Enduralt. The former (Root) which I work on more because that's a long-term project and an original project. The other one (Enduralt) was just something me and an old friend kind of jumped back into for fun and I figured I'd keep the ball rolling as long as I can since I felt like it deserved to have its ideas shown in some capacity.

- I have a C shaped spine last I checked. It doesn't affect a whole lot as long as I'm careful, but I think it's an interesting fact to mention.

- through very roundabout means I am related to Johnny Cash, but not by blood.

- at some point I really want to have the space to build the model of an old car but retrofitted for modern road safety stuff since nowadays you need to have at least a partially electric car to drive on the road. I'd like to have mine look nice and cool.

- this probably should have gone upwards by the cake idea but I really like mixing foods together and at some point I intend to create my ultimate burger I've always dreamed of.

- also my favorite color is magenta and I am frustrated that it is hard to find that color in the kind of clothes I like to get because if I could I would have a lot of nice sweaters and skirts and stuff in magenta and it would be amazing-

Anyway, that's all I can think of right now, so unless I something start reblogging and adding more to the list, that's everything relevant. Feel free to ask more about that stuff and I'll tell stories like the weird uncles/dad friend that I am to people.

How the hell do I pin this-

[lovelybunn]

lgbtqia+ headcanons !ㅤㅤ– feat. stan, kyle, cartman, kenny, n butters !

warning(s): swearing, some homophobic themes, slight mention of sex

author's note: since its gay month, wanted to post this (and its been rotting in my drafts) so here yall go, ya skittles !!!!

stan marsh .

he/him –ㅤㅤhis parents have taught him (mostly randy) that there are only two genders, female and male, and he identifies as cis. so if you tell him you use any pronouns other than she/her or he/him, and/or ask him for his pronouns, he'll look at you funny. although, he'll try and respect them anyway.

bisexual –ㅤㅤwhen he first met wendy, of course he thought he was straight, but then he started gaining weird feelings for kyle that he couldn't explain. so of course, with the help of useless buzzfeed quizzes and google, that's when stan found out that he's bisexual.

demisexual –ㅤㅤeven when stan hit puberty, he never was interested in the topic of sex in general. one time kenny showed him one of his magazines, and he didn't even bat an eye. of course, as he got older it was a lot more appealing, but he felt like sexual attraction was pretty much pointless. he rarely will refer to himself as "demi", though.

ㅤ

kyle broflovski .

he/they –ㅤㅤkyle has never felt quite whole with the labels "boy", "male", etc... he had always felt there was more to it, he just never took the time to really think about it. he found out what he was missing while walking to class. two openly queer kids had complimented his outfit for that day, "man, i love that dude's shirt!" "yeah, they're totally rocking that fit!" those simple words sparked a sense of euphoria deep inside kyle's core, yet, since he knew up to nothing about queer culture at the time, he couldn't figure out why. after school he did some extensive research on his situation, finally giving a label to how he was feeling. kyle broflovski was a demi-boy.

bisexual, masc leaning –ㅤㅤkyle never thought too much about his romantic/sexual preferences, he was too studious to even have something like that on his mind. although, one day at school stan had shown up with his hair dyed blond. kyle's poor heart pounded so hard he started sweating.. he had always thought almost every girl was pretty, but that day made him realize that boys could be pretty too.

ㅤ

eric cartman .

he/him –ㅤㅤhe has a male superiority complex so bad and he thinks "pronouns" and "more than two genders" is dumb ("my pronouns are U/S/A *bald eagle screeching*")

homophobic closeted homosexual –ㅤㅤhave y'all seen the gay ass shit he's pulled on kyle? that boy is obviously in denial. but he uses the word "gay" as an insult, so of course he's homophobic.

secretly a drag queen –ㅤㅤremember when he wore that cheetah/leopard print shirt and embarrassed his mother on live television? yeah, and the time he wore that blond wig? he has an entire closet dedicated to his craft. more than once has he walked around his room in full drag acting like he's walking down the runway. (he can't do makeup for shit tho...)

ㅤ

kenny mccormick .

he/she/they –ㅤㅤidk, kenny just gives very enby vibes. he doesn't mind being referred to as "he/she", it's just they like being perceived as androgynous. kenny is a #1 "clothes have no gender" believer.

pansexual –ㅤㅤthere have been many times in the show itself that point to kenny liking more than one gender, and them being bi doesn't really work and neither does omni, cuz they don't really have a preference, pan is the best assumption.

ㅤ

butters scotch .

any pronouns –ㅤㅤ"oh, you use xe/xem? me too!" this lil child just loves collecting pronouns like pokémon cards, butters' autism feeds on it. a lot of times, if someone tells him that they use a pronoun that she hasn't heard of, that shit will get snatched so fast, it's not even funny.

gender-fluid –ㅤㅤy'know how butters was misdiagnosed with multiple personality disorder? yeah, that was just them flowing between genders. one day butters will feel extremely masculine, the next hyper-feminine, and the next neither or both. sometimes he'll even switch within a day, it depends.

polyamorous –ㅤㅤbutters is very open both romantically and platonically. he believes there is no such barriers or limits to love, that love should be given to everyone fully and freely, without discrimination. ( + more people, more cuddles !!!)

[tales-from-nocturnaliss]

About this blog (and its writer, obviously)

Writeblr-specific Intro (coming soon-ish)

Most used tags

About Feedback Asks (coming soon-ish)

What follows: About me | My values | What to expect on this blog | A word of caution regarding my own content/writing shares | A literature link

About me

I am a chaotic good trilingual Belgian lady, writer of character-driven Dark Fantasy, and I was diagnosed autistic in January '23 at the age of 42. I'm overall a happy person, gots a husband, two cats, a great love and passion for anime (subbed) and video games, reverence for Dragons and Death (yes, the entity), an obsession with emotions and psychology, and I tend to fangirl my own characters a lot. I'm real easy to get to know since I'm open about my life and myself.

I'm also chronically stressed and tired. The assumption here is that decades of unwitting masking, of functioning by societal norms, has slowly gotten me into a state of perpetual autistic burnout. This basically means that I have good days and bad days, depending on how brain chemistry decides to fare. Generally, I dislike getting into arguments and petty debates because they waste so much energy over nothing.

My values

These past decades have gotten me here: I am all about tolerance and communication and seeing the world through each other's eyes. As such, I love meeting people of all walks of life, be they fellow autistics, ADHD, bipolar, neurotypicals, and everything in between. I'm genuinely interested in understanding how people function.

However. Tired as I always am, I tend to do what feels natural to me without too much thought at times. This means, specifically for fellow autistics, that I don't adhere to the unwritten rules and social cues of the global autistic community. Concretely: I don't speak the lingo and won't cater to specific needs on my blog. This also applies to trigger warnings, which I don't recognize beyond 18+ and gore.

This means that, here, any and all topics can/may/will be discussed, and that everyone's welcome to pitch in an opinion/thought – as long as you do it respectfully. I am generally able to perceive the difference between responses made in anger and hurt, and targeted trolling. As said above, I do like to meet people of all kinds. There's also no need to adhere to any sort of Tumblr etiquette with me. Just come as you are. We'll see if we can get along.

What to expect on this blog

Since my activity spikes at times and I mainly enjoy scrolling BotW fanarts, arts in general, and posts about writing, I can only tell you for certain that herein you can find

reblogs about writing tips on varying subjects

reblogs of dark/beautiful artwork that appeals to me

the occasional autism reblog that speaks to my personal life

the even more occasional personal blog

the very occasional writing snippet from my own works

The most important thing to remember about personal input is that, when I write about any topic, be it eloquently or like a monkey on red bull, what I say is only my own personal opinion and experience. I'm open to being told I'm wrong on more general topics, not to be yelled at or otherwise bullied into compliance. I'm cute and friendly until I no longer am.

As stated above: I am all about tolerance and communication. I'll assume any bitchiness is a reaction of hurt if you extend the same courtesy to me. I'm open to discussing potential issues as long as you try to understand where I'm coming from, too.

A word of caution regarding my own content/writing shares

As stated above, I tend not to have a working filter when it comes to trigger warnings beyond 18+ and gore. I don't think in categories. My mind is a flow of feelings and emotions and thoughts and of life, beautiful and ugly, sometimes uplifting, sometimes rife with darkness and despair. And I need to express it all the only way I know how: by simply expressing it.

Therefore, reading any of my posts comes at your own discretion. I will assume you've read through the pinned post, and direct you here should you express any sort of uninformed displeasure at reading my posts.

Still here?

Wonderful :3. Now, how about I direct you to my current big project, Ario's story, and all five (almost six) parts in his story? Yes? Yes. :3

Basically the story of a young man who decided to flee his home country, gets stuck on a ship, and then problems, comedy, sappiness and all sorts of delicious moments occur. The Dark Fantasy part is coming up in part 6. Stay tuned!

[nightmarevore]

hi! i'm getting into writing safe vore oneshots and i was inspired by a few of your works and reblogs. for years i was really discontent with my writing, but when i revisited some of your stories today, i noticed how similar your writing style is to mine, and the fact that people enjoy your content made me confident enough to complete a draft and plan a new story. i wanted to know if you make drafts and revise them? do you just publish the first draft? do you get help writing or editing them? 1☆

WAAAAAAAAAAAAH I;M SOBBING THIS WAS SUCH A NICE SERIES OF ASKS TO COME TO YOU'RE SO NICE TO MEEEEEEEE omg gomgo gomgomgomgklgkgfkjngfjbjdk i've never been complimented LIKE THIS or asked extensively for my process, this is new to me!!! you're wonderful and kind and i appreciate you.

i'm gonna have to make a readmore here as to not clutter up everyone's dashes to tell you my process/thoughts so HERE WE GO!!!!

i actually have only one fic i get edited and it's a non-vore fic, a very close friend of mine edits a fn.a f fanfic i'm writing based on w/illi.am a/f.to/n. i don't ask them to edit my vore stuff, but they do know i'm into vore. i actually write all my fics in a google doc!

i'll typically actually write as i go entirely. i have a rough idea of how i want the fic to go (who's in what, who does what, an event i need to happen, etc) and write along that rough guideline in my head. i write completely in order, or else i can't make it flow well together. sometimes i'll write what else may need to get done or else i may forget.

i'll consider things i decide to change as i go along "the first draft," since i went with something entirely different. for example, in one of my drafts for a wip fic, i chose to have luke, in the serial killer, panic and size-shift to half size and have the fic end with a half-size hurt/comfort vore from luke and rowan. instead, i changed it so luke is dazed but has time remain his current size and pull rowan out of his pred instincts taking over and have cuddles afterwards and vore when they got home, luke still the same size.

though adhd and autism get in the way at times—executive dysfunction is a bitch. a lot of things i have written, like a luke and rowan serial killer fic, as well a a fugue state william fic have been a WIP since February of this year—literally when i BROKE MY FOOT and was stuck in a reclining chair for a month. i keep telling myself i need to get to them, but then i see ffxiv and hanging out with friends and just decide that's a better way to spend my time at the moment. i've been in a huuuuge brain fog for a few months bc of this, the recent one shot i posted was actually made because i was speaking vore feelings i had with medli.

i definitely have an easier time writing when i'm specifically fixated on vore, luke and rowan, william, mike, etc.

i'll write when i'm hyperfixated, and my brain pushes me to write more when i'm at work rather than at home, because adhd classifies work as something i need a distraction from, and home as chill time. i'll write on my breaks or when i have a moment to myself to sit and hide.

i'll tell you right now, i get SOOO many ideas and have at least 10+ wips, including f./n/a,f, luke and rowan, and ffxiv characters.

when i write, i'm mostly writing from my heart. exactly what i'd expect to think, feel, and hear. i put myself into the perspective/mind of the characters i'm writing and can get deep into these fics as i write them. i get so interpersonally connected to my writing as i'm writing that i physically feel my character's emotions, and see them in my head exactly how they play out.

honestly, i'm not too sure about tips on how to get out of making yourself write when you don't feel like it. i've gotten frustrated with myself for staring at my documents for too long and not being able to write anything. i imagine the scenario in perfect detail, and then i'll sit down, stare at my work, and i'm like ....???????????????????

i'm actually trying to open up to my therapist about getting medicated so i can have an easier time writing/creating for you guys! hopefully soon.

i hope this kind of gives you some insight to my process, please go forth and create and never be afraid to share. <333

this ask means a lot to me!

[k1ddiecat]

I think part of why I cant stand living with my mother is because shes constantly giving me orders and expecting me to drop what Im doing to do what she wants right this second and that Interrupts me( autistic, difficulty starting and stopping tasks, she got mw diagnosed at age 9) Interrputing breaks my whole flow. Its extremely agitating and she does it constantly. Its never ok for me to say 'not right now' or 'Ill get to it when I can' or she gets totally enraged. And then post interruption i cannot get my momentum back so i end up just mindlessly scrolling/watching/doing barely anything until i can get it back. Its almost physical how much i hate this and its clear to me now how much it stops me from being productive. I clean on my own time all the time. Im not lazy. I just cant operate on someone else's whims. And she always wants me to do stuff while she is moving around and past me (visually distracting) and while the tv is on (audiovisual distraction) and while shes cooking (scent distraction) and it pushes me into sensory overload. And Ive started to try and explain this but she dismisses me every time. She doesnt....care about accomdating me. She doesnt care about my comfort . People are always either accomodating or they're not and no amount of autism education can make them care. God

[eraserror404]

autistic headcanons about aizawa (detailed post):

• showed many typical signs of autism since childhood, but was diagnosed only in his older teens due to the neglect of his parents

• the first or one of the first special interests was quirks. he could study the open state register for hours, memorizing the names, descriptions and registration numbers of quirks. this was very useful to them in their heroic work in the future

• the next special interest was astrophysics. he was always fascinated by space, he was delighted with the paradoxical nature of the universe and could have infodumped about it for hours if someone had agreed to listen

• (no one agreed. the first really interested interlocutor on this topic was thirteen. they began to communicate on the basis of a passion for space)

• trying to better understand the principles of the universe, shota began to study higher mathematics. soon it became an independent special interest. they is especially fond of limits, derivatives and progressions

• interest in quirks gradually developed into interest in heroics in general, and with the addition of mathanalysis skills, aizawa became a good analyst. in middle school, he took additional classes in higher mathematics. in yuuei there were additional classes in mathematical statistics and a club of heroic analytics. of course, aizawa immediately signed up for both clubs as soon as the opportunity arose

• (he was very excited when he found out about midoriya's analytical interests. sometimes they have discussions right during the lesson. at such moments, 1-a acutely feels the lack of popcorn)

• shota has difficulty making eye contact. they literally can't even look in the direction of the face of the person they bewares. as he gets closer to a person, his gaze gradually moves from "somewhere in the corner near the interlocutor" to the approximate direction of the face. aizawa can only look straight into the eyes with very close people

• until the age of 14, shota was a walking disaster. hit all the corners and door jambs on the way? yes. drop all your stuff because you got tangled in your limbs? give me two. tripping over your own foot and smashing your face? hold my beer

• his verbal skills were also very poor before entering yuuei. his classmates literally had to teach him to talk

• despite significant progress, they still easily becomes nonverbal during sensory overload. but now shota knows sign language and is mostly surrounded by understanding people

• his biggest sensory vulnerability is sounds. he doesn't tolerate noise very well. while still a student of yuuei, he accidentally stole noise-canceling headphones from the support course, and this was one of the best acquisitions in his entire life

• the second worst thing in the world after noise is a flashing light. ever since aizawa got a job at yuuei, they always change faulty light bulbs on time

• shota also hates the feeling of clothes that fit snugly to the body, so he always wears an oversize made of the softest fabric possible. even as a hero costume. especially as a hero costume

• returning to his special interests, his fascination with mathematics and statistics flowed into an interest in programming. in his second year at yuuei shota abandoned the matanalysis club in favor of the programming one and was almost the only student there not from the support course. at first they looked at him askance, but then they accepted him into a family of nerds. this gave aizawa quite a lot of useful acquaintances

• in addition, even in middle school, he was fond of edged weapons, and in the third year this interest was renewed

• versatile, albeit non-standard education + problems with verbality = complex formulations using terms mixed with slang. students find his manner of speech quite funny. and yes, he really thinks using _these_ words

• aizawa loves terms because he thinks they are very rational. he admires the ability to fit into one word the essence and description of the whole phenomenon

• logic is not just a value for them — it is their anchor and guide in the complex world of social conventions that they does not understand

• due to his being blunt, he can be rude, while observing all the norms of etiquette. and sincerely wonder what they said wrong

• his favorite stims are walking, solving "hand puzzles", combing the scalp, stroking cats, sharpening knives, swinging his legs

• they loves the tactile sensations of their capture weapon. the rough fabric feels very nice under your fingers, and since the tapes are quite heavy, this is a very good pressure stim

• his comfortable space is a sleeping bag

• shota does not like too bright or complex tastes in food, preferring something fairly simple and unambiguous. they likes spicy, salty and sweet

• aizawa is that type of autistic children who sort food into its constituent ingredients and eat them separately. they is still skeptical about most salads

• he has a complicated relationship with purees. until they found their jelly bags, they hated any products of this consistency. fortunately, these particular purees turned out to be quite liquid and became one of his comfort foods.

• his sensory overload rarely flows brightly, although this has happened. most often, he has either shutdowns, at the peak of which he cannot speak or move for several minutes, or he simply becomes very irritable or sleepy

• the best way to get out of sensory overload for shota is to pretend that everything is normal (of course, after they gets rid of the stimulus that led to the overload). attempts to start moving or talking as quickly as possible only aggravate everything. someone else's anxiety, too. therefore, they prefers to retire in an empty room or at least in their sleeping bag and just wait

[theatrhythmz]

Tell me about ur oc.now/nf

Waugh ok.

Their full name is Ilya Mikhailovich Nikolaev.

He's russian (very obvious because of it's name).

She is absolutely cringefail but that adds to her charm <3

She only has one story about her and of course it's angst cause he makes me abnormal like that.

It uses any pronouns (including neopronouns).

Xey are 6'5"

It is 28 years old.

They hardly have any braincells most of the time, she's just going with the flow lmao. Very silly.

She is my only oc that has an alternate universe. Which only exists to ship her with another oc since him and the other one exist in 2 separate stories.

He eats shredded cheese right out of the bag.

They have a cat named Callie (which is a calico cat).

The scars on her face is from a fight with xyr cousin.

She needs sound in the background in order to work on things, but if it's too much sound she can't function.

It has autism, adhd, ppd, bpd, and dyscalculia.

It also suffers from chronic pain.

She likes to bite things lmao

His natural hair color is brown.

She is very good at comforting people but not great with her own emotions.

He's always getting distracted in stores. She'll stand in an aisle just staring at random stuff she doesn't even need. Though he is good about not buying things he doesn't need.

Her special interests are knives, horror, and video games.

She is genderqueer (born male) + asexual panromantic

He often has to put alarms on his phone in order to remind her to do things or else she'll forget.

She likes to see how many things she can get done before the microwave goes off.

It loves minecraft. She always has "keepInventory" on and she's ok at fighting. Xey like building and mining much more than fighting.

His birthday is May 2nd.

My voice claim for her is Crazy Russian Dad.

It had a partner for 2 years (22 to 24 years old) but they broke up cause it wasn't going very well.

Here's a bingo I did for them (notice how I selected let them be happy and will kill anyone who hurts them despite being the one inflicting the pain on them lmao).

Here's art of her that I posted a bit ago lmao

And of course she'll get more info about him as time goes on but this is just about what I got for it rn.

[2-kamikou-1]

boredom.

So I'm infodumping about all my prsk autistic hcs!

Ichika: (i stole this hc from my friend so I'm gonna paraphrase them some + some things I've observed myself) she's kind of awkward around people who aren't her friends and even then it takes her a while to really be herself around them because she fears that autistic traits drive people away. i smell masking. also miku special interest and she seems to sometimes have trouble communicating her emotions

saki and honami: pure vibes honestly idk it just feels that way. saki sometimes struggles with volume control just like her brother but that's also just one thing ive noticed. idk i dont really pay attention to l/n

shiho: her eyes almost always seem to be averted in her live2d models, in cards where they're talking to people they also appear that way, and even in her 2* they don't appear to be looking into the camera (?), all of which give me the impression of poor eye contact. She seems to struggle with tone, almost always sounding mean/upset without meaning to or even realizing, and has trouble communicating things in ways that aren't blunt. This can sometimes also cause them to say things that are inappropriate for the situation

Minori: haruka/idolship special interest, and we also see her struggle with spatial awareness from time to time, like in the Angel's clover 3dmv she stumbles, and other kinds of general physical awkwardness like that one clip from gunjo sanka. She also has that type of black and white thinking where the first thing she thinks is what she goes with and hard to stray from even if it's incorrect, as shown in the opening to the time to hang out event, where she claims she's "missed the only chance to learn about the Haruka she never knew" despite the fact she had the opportunity to meet up with An again, and when Kohane suggests that she tries to dodge it at first. She also seems to have a hard time making her voice flow naturally, in some mmj covers you can kind of hear her trying really hard to sound good instead of just letting her voice flow

Kohane: general social awkwardness, she seems to have an ability to pick up on music and rhythm just by listening to it. She doesn't seem to pick up on Akito's derogatory tone when reffering to Tsukasa (not by name) in that one area conversation ("My school has this wacko who likes to walk around drawing attention to himself by making random poses"), because she proceeds to say she might ask him for tips on how to be confident. In that same area conversation she worries about drawing attention to herself and refuses to look up. She doesn't understand that An's joking when she says she got 100% on her test on April fool's day, yet another example of her not catching onto tone. In one of her dialogs she hears a cricket chirping in the busy city which is not something neurotypical people can pick out typically!

Toya: he doesn't seem to make a lot of jokes, which is likely because he doesn't catch on to them very well. His speaking voice is sort of flat/monotone, and his facial expressions don't vary much either. His issues with eating squid due to its texture can be chalked up to sensory issues. I think he may also have spatial awareness issues but that one's a little far fetched, seeing as he apparently hits his head off train handles.

might i add, kohane and toya get on in a way only 2 autistic people get along. it's hard to explain they just have that dynamic

long post on the entirety of wxs being autistic

Kanade: she doesn't like the sunlight probably due to sensory issues, and in one area conversation she says she'll wait for a movie to hit streaming because it's too noisy outside to go to the theatre. also sensory stuff! She avoids breaks and resists change, wearing and eating the same stuff every day for the sake of consistency. (These can also be signs of ADHD too but I'm choosing to interpret them as autism because comfort)

Mafuyu: mafuyu is a very good example of the loss of identity that is associated with masking and RSD, both things that can happen in autism. this post explains it in more detail, but in the most simple terms, this happens when an autistic (or any neurodivergence that involves RSD) person creates what are called identity masks to deal with people who are unresponsive to their needs. As they treat personalities like clothes and mirror other people, they start to lose sight of their own identity. That's why we see mafuyu so deadpan when she takes off her good-girl persona, she's disconnected from her core self.

Ena: we see her have something very akin to a meltdown in insatiable pale color, when she makes a mess of all her art supplies. She can be offensive without meaning to at times, as shown in the exciting picnic event. In that same event, it's revealed that Ena defended Airi when she was getting made fun of without even knowing who she was, displaying the innate sense of justice that some autistic people have.

[bloodanddiscoballs]

I was tagged by @maddymoreau Thank you so much bestie💕💕💕

Currently Reading: House of Leaves! It's not always easy for me to read due to my pain giving me brain fog and this book in particular requires your full attention, so I've technically been reading it for the last few months sjfbdk. It's suuuuper good and I would absolutely recommend it! I've very rarely felt that creeping fear up the back of my neck from anything. It's somethin else.

Last Song: Livin' Thing by Electric Light Orchestra!

Last Series: The Sandman! I'm very much in love with it and have enjoyed the casting and changes from the comics. It's fantastic if you're looking for a unique story!

Last Movie: Inside the Mind of a Cat on Netflix! It was super cute. It's a documentary about the behavior of cats and going into the relationship they have with us. There was a lot I already knew, as I've always been a nature documentary kid (autism babeyyyy) but I got to learn a few new stuff! It was cool to see the studies the scientists in the film did to prove what cat owners already know or feel. They even talked about how cats from other countries behave differently because of the society they're raised in. If you're looking for a cute and fascinating documentary or just wanna learn about cats, I'd check it out!

Currently Working On: Commissions and personal art! I've got a pair of shorts I'm almost done with and then three jackets. It's a lot but I'm very proud of how the work is turning out. I really hope my clients like them. As for personal art, I've been drawing on my tablet to keep my art flowing. It's nice to unwind cause I feel like painting takes different techniques than doodling on my tablet. I've been drawing my Owl House oc as well as Alador and Darius. One of the ones I'm doin right now is drawing the three of them in all of these:

Aaaaand then it got pretty sexy so sjfbd I'll post once I'm done. Plus, I can't paint in bed but I can draw on the tablet laying down. I'm able to give my back a rest without losing my mojo yknow? I'm also gonna be adding work for a new music video for Sea Power that I've been invited to participate in. So pretty much all my awake time is being creative haha. It rocks! Younger me would be proud of how far I've come.

Tagging: @41stprecinct @justdecadentcollectiondestiny @brennisteinnexe @supercxth @pavi-caligula @5gogh2 @princelydisaster @moonovergoldsboromp3 @cipheramnesia @billyrusso @notmanmaybeboy

[othercat2]

Hi maybe this is a bit out of the blue but I wanted to say that I have always really enjoyed ur homestuck fics and still reread them dispite no longer being as into as the Fandom as I was! They flow, two for mirth and safety dance were some of my favorites but I noticed on ao3 safety dance is gone? Is it only on dreamwidth now? Also, I genuinely don't wanna sound like im preasuring u cuz the answer can just be "ye I'm prolly not gonna finish it" but are u still working on they flow? If not that's cool, it's still an awesome read and concept (I love me some eldritch horrors who Love You Incomprehensibly[tm]) anyway just wanted to say hi, ur writings really cool and I enjoy it alot

I got in trouble because something I wrote looked like a call out because I used a rude comment I got for Safety Dance as an example. (Also, the essay/guide, which was about commenting on fic was deemed Non Fandom Related.) So I took it, the rest of my meta posts and anything else that looked like it might possibly get me in trouble down, which included several fan fics that could also be taken as either "call outs" or hate fic. (A lot of the time, I play with fan fic genres I don't feel comfortable with. Or I write something nasty/explicit because I am in a bad mood.)

TL;DR: Autism/anxiety brain and extreme scrupulosity+my epic ability to catastrophize resulted in me axing a bunch of my fic and all of my Meta out of fear of Getting Kicked Off of AO3 Because I Am A Horrible Person.

As far as two for mirth is concerned: I am very, very stuck on all of my Homestuck WIPs. Very, very very stuck. This is as frustrating to me as I am sure it is for everyone who likes my writing.

I have also been working on writing for my writing blog, and I have a (also currently stalled) original fic on Royal Road.

[topduck48]

Happy Duck day all! This is a very exciting day for me since I get to see a lot more Duck posts.

Since it is Duck day, you get to have a summary of all of my Duck headcanons, as well as some more headcanons that I haven't previously mentioned.

-He is left handed.

-He is hypermobile, and sometimes needs a cane to walk. His joints also click and dislocate a lot. His muscles and joints grow stiff and ache if he doesn't stretch or click them for a while.

-He does waddle, no one knows why. (From an omniscient narrator’s perspective, it’s because of his struggle with balance and spacial awareness due to his autism and hypermobility). He has waddled since he started walking.

-He is English, and was born in the west country (Devon specifically).

-He is very strong, but he only knows some of his strength. (Oliver is the same. Duck is a lot stronger than him, but Oliver is still strong).

-He is autistic, but he doesn’t tell anyone. He prefers not to. Only his parents know. Edward suspects that he is autistic, but he hasn't mentioned it to him.

-He is known as “Duck” because he loves ducks, his hair flicks out at the ends like duck feathers and a male duck's tail feather, he waddles, he talks a lot sometimes like a duck quacking, and he stims by flapping his hands like a duck flapping its wings.

-His favourite foods are sandwiches (egg and cress is his favourite) and doughnuts (jam filled doughnuts are his favourite), he also loves cinnamon rolls and pie. Said foods are also his comfort foods.

-He loves baking, and is very good at it.

-He loves reading, and prefers to read non fiction books about his special interests.

-He has a dark green vintage satchel with a gold “GWR” on the front, a small GWR pin and a duck pin. He got the bag from his grandad who also worked on the GWR railway as a train driver. He got the pin when he was hired on the GWR, and his mom and dad bought him the duck pin when they all went on holiday when he was a child.

-He is very close with his parents and grandfather.

-He has no siblings.

-He has very little interest in dating (from an omniscient narrator’s perspective, he is grey ace, but he only likes men).

-He doesn’t get on with Thomas, and Thomas doesn’t like him.

-He loves tweed, and always wears it when he isn’t working.

-He loves smart fashion in general.

-He has perfect manners.

-He has a book that he writes in whenever he is upset or angry.

-He has quite extreme emotions, and struggles to control them sometimes.

-He tends to stare quite a bit. No one knows why. Is he daydreaming? Is he doing it on purpose to unnerve you? Does he want something from you? Does he just like staring? Perhaps it is all of them, who knows…

-His parents call him “little waddler”affectionately. It started when he walked for the first time and they kept calling him that since. They also affectionately call him “pumpkin”.

-He affectionately calls people that he likes "pumpkin".

-When he stands in one spot, he sways from side to side.

-He loves his hair and loves to watch and feel his hair flowing in the wind or underwater.

-He infodumps a lot. This is mainly where others’ annoyance for him talking comes from.

-He can naturally swim well and really likes the water. He is also very buoyant and loves floating in the water.

-His special interests are the great western railway, the sea, boats, smart fashion and birds.

-He has a large collection of canes that are practical and classy at the same time. Some even have duck heads to match with his name.

-He daydreams quite a lot.

-He can sing very well, and is very musically talented.

-He actually likes his name, because he considers it distinctive and classy. He also likes being referred to as "Duck" because it reminds him of how others see him (in a good way)