#and that they;re pretty much free to post whatever weird shit they;d like

[pctaldrunk]

@haedshaker asked : 🎲 - send  🎲  and i’ll place our muses into this generator and post the resulting muse combinations and a few ideas on how to make it work! (accepting!)

The generator did not tell me how many I should list...so I put down five : " D HOPEFULLY THAT'S NOT TOO MANY OPTIONS JKLFDSJDAFJ;JSFAKFL

S.heng M.inglan - Lucky for both of us I have a kind of cultivator au to pull out of my sleeve - in this funky verse, Sheng family is probably a small sect (tm) that exists but under the umbrella of the greater sects. Easy lean into Q.inghe in this verse, but anyway, regardless - maybe they met a lot as smaller children (and then eventually bigger children) for intra-realm (tm) sect businesses? like in a sense their dads are kind of like business partners except ig in this analogy due to funky feudalism it'd be like his dad is her dad's boss - so they're taken to all the company meetings and have to sit at the kiddy table together. In some ways they're pretty similar. n.ie "i don't know x 3' h.uaisang meets s.heng 'what do u mean? -smiles like she's dumb but is rolling her eyes in her head-' m.inglan. she's also lowkey a transmigrator (tm) trying to survive this world she found herself in so like...plenty of fun interesting wildness maybe.

Yao Haiyin - I'm so sorry the bio for this guy isn't even UP but I can give you a quick rundown. He's the epitome of "showed up fifteen years late w/ a starbucks" tbh like. The short version is "his mother established a sect and to gain control of it his father threatened her with his safety and made himself sect leader till she died in captivity. Then Haiyin overthrew dear old dad in a coup ridiculously young and became sect leader himself and pretty much closed the sect and himself to the world for a couple years." i.e. while the rest of the cultivation world was fighting a war and then getting into shenanigans afterwards h e was setting up a coup and regaining political power in his own sect and setting shit up bit by bit until basically post siege of the burial mounds 1.0 he crashes onto the scene fully formed. smth smth I feel like they got a few similarities and like...they could be friends. friends who have tea and play a couple rounds of chess and don't ask each other about their maybe slightly awful plans, etc. etc.

Nie Shaoxi - tbh I came up w/ Shaoxi because I thought about N.ie sect leaders historically dying young and how young some of their kids had to be and I thought to myself "there have to be people who specifically pass on burial rites / other such traditions in case someone couldn't do it in time." so. y e a h. in terms of age and timelines she'd probably be like an aunt figure, though she would only emerge at the point in the timeline when n.ie dad..well, gets dead. she's a little weird and a little wild but like...she would genuinely care about these children (tm) and would do her best to be a Responsible Adult Figure ok.

Hanzhu - Ok, hear me out - tweak it a lil. Take the og backstory's undying loyalty, move it to the n.ie fam by some circumstance. It is believable to me that they probably would have saved this little girl from her terrible poison tester fate and take her in in some capacity. it was probably not what she did when she worked for the old sect leader or M.ingjue, but newly instated N.ie H.uaisang...gets his own personal sword out of her. Essentially she's a 100% loyal free agent who makes up for any plan's lack in martial ruthlessness - while leaving the general sect (tm) out of whatever...not necessarily dirty but definitely questionable deed needs doing. Throw in a pinch of angst re: the moral dilemma of using someone who would die for you to do nefarious things and expendably using a living (tm) relationship (and maybe near familial, depending on how we decide to fidget the backstory / establish this relationship) with someone you've known for a long time and could probably (even if you personally cannot bring yourself to due to any plethora of issues) trust 100% to avenge the dead...and it could be a little delicious.

M.u S.heng - You know I think this could be interesting. Something something maybe they met in the years H.uaisang was researching...well, the whole deal with N.ie M.ingjue's corpse but also demonic cultivation, but a l so...All The Good Funky Forbidden Cultivation Stuffs. Enter Mu Sheng, rogue cultivator, half demon, who also cannot control his powers but c a n control ghouls with his...uncontrollable powers. Go from there.

[shittyblogname]

William Afton Fluff Alphabet

This is the same alphabet as on the Michael post, so credit goes out again to MagicalWarlock :)

let me know if I should do a NSFW version with Michael lol I feel like I’m not very good with these, feels ooc but the fluff alphabet went insane with likes, so thanks to everyone who read it :), I’m glad that you like my posts!

I also did this in a different format/font since I re-read the fluff alphabet last night to check for mistakes & found it very hard to read without my eyes hurting, so hopefully this one is more pleasant to read for those who had the same struggle.

last note: my requests are always open, and I don’t have ideas for the “shady enough” fic right now, so feel free to request whatever :D

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

William would definitely just hang out with you in the restaurants after hours. Not even as a weird, uncanny or perverted thing, he just likes showing off the technology to you. One time he booped Freddy’s nose just to prove that it does indeed make a noise. Other than that “netflix & chill” & reading, drawing or sketching. Probably sketching you :)

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He likes your curves, obviously. They’re fun to draw and he loves just admiring your general beauty. If he would have to say something other than your body, he’d go for how caring you are despite all the shit that he does :)

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

William can’t deal with others emotions, I’m pretty sure that that’s very obvious by the way he treats his kids or wife. He tries to listen to your issue & figure out with you what seems to be the problem, but on the inside it just makes him angry how stupid you sound talking bad about yourself or a situation like that. He isn’t good with showing a comforting manner, but the next-best thing he can think of is putting you into his lap & distracting you by drawing with you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He doesn’t picture the future too much when it comes to a relationship since they’ll most likely leave anyways after he opens up, but if you happen to stay long enough he might just think about re-marrying, but would probably quickly dismiss the thought as “ridiculous” 

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

definitely dominant, will not let you top him

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

William gives me a “anger issues/anger disorder” kinda vibe, so he’s easy to rile up in a fight, and will dismiss the topic by walking away with a ‘whatever’ & drink about it later on, probably when you are asleep.

discussion kinda fights: 

He’s similar to Michael, being a smartass & pissing you off further. Unlike Michael though he’s more likely to “explode” & full-on yell at you that what you are saying is nonsense

heated arguments:

He’s definitely loud, very loud. If you really piss him off he’s not afraid to yell at you, smash stuff to prove his point & possibly hurt you or himself on accident, but he catches himself before it goes further than a bruise.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He catches little things you do for him, like leaving a extra cup of coffee on the counter, etc. he’s a bit oblivious to bigger things though, he pays too much attention to detail to notice.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He’s very secretive of the stuff he does at work or outside work, if you ask about it he’ll probably bring up a cheap lie. Honestly I wouldn’t expect him to be loyal, but if you stay long enough for him to have a safety-like feeling in the relationship with you he’ll tell you some stuff that he did.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

William feels like you changed his views a little, he’s usually very pessimistic, but he can see good in certain Situations more now.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He’ll stare at you from a distance, leaning onto something & just watch you while thinking about all the things he’s gonna do to you later to remind you of who you belong to :)

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

he isn’t really one for long/passionate kisses? Idk why I get this vibe from him, but he’d probably just give you little pecks here & there throughout the day. The first kiss was after hours while you two were cleaning up some food & confetti from a birthday party, he said you have a piece above your lip & took his chance :)

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

he probably just said it bluntly to your face, he wanted to get it over with the rejection so he could focus on his robotics. When you accepted he was genuinely dumbfounded. 

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He’s on the fence about re-marrying. He brings up the thought once while you two are in bed, probably about to fall asleep, but if you wanna put a ring on his finger you gotta ask yourself.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

love & your name, he isn’t very creative with Nicknames

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

William’s confused about his feelings. I imagine that he did not feel loved by his wife or felt love for her or his kids, so he thinks that it’s just him feeling ill & that it will go away. He’ll be upset about it and have a tantrum when he’s alone in the office, unsure about what to do. It’s a Situation where he doesn’t have control & that panics him. He’ll be his usual self around others though, not letting anyone catch wind of what he’s struggling with on the inside.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He’s upfront about it if anyone asks, but he wouldn’t go around and brag with you, during work hours he doesn’t like to show any affection towards you, but afterwards & at home he’ll give you pecks & hold your hand, etc.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

ig he has a lot of money & smarts? Lol

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Cliché Romantic, he gets you flowers & something you’ve always wanted for special occasions, or something self-made that he tinkered on :)

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

You’ll have to reason with him as to why exactly you think that whatever you want to do will be beneficial, basically makes a whole business meeting out of it until he can’t hold his laughter in anymore & gets you what you wanted 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He needs new things every couple of weeks, a certain routine will stress him out with time & with that comes rage and other outlashes 

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He ain’t empathic at all, I think we all know that. He is very smart though, so he’ll still be able to put himself into your situation. He knows you pretty well overall & just asks you straight up when he wants to know more about you. 

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He puts you on the same level as his Animatronics, especially the one’s that are special to him like Circus Baby. 

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He LOVES when you lay on his chest, it just makes him happy :), especially when you draw circles or different shapes on it to coax him into sleeping. 

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

In private, he’ll complain about how needy you are, but then completely cling to you. He likes to peck your neck while spooning you

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He’ll tinker with his electronics to distract his mind, but he can’t help but feel empty without you around.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’ll invest into things that you want, but won’t run after you if you are being a brat or want to break up.

[spockandawe]

Well, this is interesting! So, in that post yesterday, there was one line that really baffled me, a thing about people brushing off a character as an asshole “because he shows literally zero growth.” I kind of set that aside because it was such a weird non-sequitur, and guessed that it was just someone’s sentences not quite keeping up with their train of thought, which has happened to me many times. Apparently I was wrong! I already spent long enough on that one post, I’m tired of talking about that, but this is new and interesting. 

Okay. I kind of wanted to see if I could talk about this purely in terms of abstracts and not characters, but I don’t think it’ll work. It would be frustrating to write and confusing to read. It’s about Jiang Cheng. Right up front: This isn’t about whether or not he’s an abuser. Frankly, I don’t think it’s relevant. This also isn’t about telling people they should like him. I don't care whether anyone else likes him or not. But I do like him, and I am always fascinated by dissecting the reasons that people disagree with me. And the process of Telling Stories is my oldest hyperfixation I remember, which will become relevant in a minute.

I thought I had a good grasp on this one, you know? Jiang Cheng makes it pretty obvious why people would dislike Jiang Cheng. But then the posts I keep stumbling over were making weird points, culminating in that “literally zero growth” line.

So! What happened is that someone wrote up a post about how Jiang Cheng’s character arc isn’t an arc, it’s stagnation. It’s a pretty interesting read, and I broadly agree with the larger point! The points where I would quibble are like... the idea that it’s absolute stagnation, as opposed to very subtle shifts that still make a material difference. But still, cool! The post was also offered up as a reason why OP was uninterested in writing any more Jiang Cheng meta, which I totally get. I’m not tired of him yet, but I definitely understand why someone who isn’t a fan of his would get tired about writing about a character with a very static arc. Okay!

Now, internet forensics are hard. I desperately wish I had more information about this evolution, because I find this stuff fascinating, but I have no good way to find things said in untagged posts, reblogs, or private/external venues. But as far as I can tell, that “literally zero growth” wasn’t just a slip of the tongue, it’s become fashionable for people to say that Jiang Cheng is an abusive asshole (that it’s fucked up to like) because he doesn’t have a character arc.

Asshole? Yes. Abusive? This post still isn’t about that. This is about it being fucked up to like this character because he did bad things and had a static character arc.

At first, that point of view was still deeply confusing to me. But I think I figured out the idea at the core of it, and now I’m only baffled. I’m not super interested in confirming this directly, because the people making the most noise about this have not inspired confidence in their ability to hold a civil conversation and I’m a socially anxious binch, but I think the idea is: ‘This character did Bad Things, and then did not improve himself.’

Which is alarmingly adjacent to that old favorite standard of ‘This piece of fiction is glorifying Bad Thing.’ I haven’t seen anyone accusing mxtx of something something jiang cheng, only the people who read/watched/heard the story and became invested in the Jiang Cheng character, but things kind of add up, you know?

Like I said, I don’t want to arbitrate anyone’s right to like/dislike Jiang Cheng. That’s such a fucking waste of time. But this is fascinating to me, because it’s like..... so obviously new and sudden, with such a clear originating point. I can’t speak to the Chinese fans, obviously, but exiledrebels started translating in... what, 2017? And only now, in 2021, do people start putting forth Jiang Cheng’s flat character arc as a “reason” that he’s bad? I’m not going to argue if he pings you in the abuse place, I’m not a dick. I’m not going to argue if you just dislike his vibes. I’m just over here on my blog and in the tag enjoying myself, feel free to detour around me. But oh my god, it’s so silly to try to tell other people that they shouldn’t like him because he has a static character arc.

I want to talk about stories. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to say, because it’s impossible to make broad, sweeping statements, because there are stories about change, there are stories about lack of change, there are all kinds of media that can be used to tell stories, and standards for how stories are told and what they emphasize vary across cultures and over time. But I think that what I can say is that telling a story requires... compromise. It requires streamlining. Trying to capture all the detail of life would slow down most stories to an unbearable degree. Consider organically telling someone ‘I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’ versus the computer science exercise of having students describe, step by step, how to make one (spread peanut butter? but you never said you opened the lid)

Hell, I’ve got an example in mdzs itself. The largely-faceless masses of the common people. If someone asks you to think about it critically like, yes, obviously these are people, living their own lives, with their own desires, sometimes suffering and dying in the wake of the novel plot. But does the story give weight to those deaths? Or does it just gloss by? Yes, it references their suffering occasionally, but it is not the focus, and it would slow the story unbearably to give equal weight to each dead person mentioned. 

Does Wei Wuxian’s massacre get given the same slow, careful consideration as Su She’s, or Jin Guangyao’s? No, because taking the time to weigh our protagonist with ‘well, this one was a mother, and her youngest son had just started walking, but now he’s going to grow up without remembering her face. that one only became an adult a few months ago, he still hasn’t been on many night-hunts yet, but he finds it so rewarding to protect the common people. oh, and this one had just gotten engaged, but don’t worry, his fiancee won’t mourn him, because she died here as well.’ And continuing on that way to some large number under 3000? No! Unless your goal is to make the reader feel bad for cheering for a morally grey hero, that would be a bad authorial decision! The book doesn’t ignore the issue, it comes up, Wei Wuxian gets called out about all the deaths he’s responsible for, but that’s not the same as them being given equal emotional weight to one (1) secondary character, and I don’t love this new thing where people are pretending that’s equivalent.

When Wei Wuxian brutally kills every person at the Wen supervisory office, are you like ‘holy shit... so many grieving families D:’ or are you somewhere between vindicated satisfaction and an ‘ooh, yikes’ wince? Odds are good you’re somewhere in the satisfaction/wince camp, because that’s what the story sets you up to feel, because the story has to emphasize its priorities (priorities vary, but ‘plot’ and ‘protagonist’ are common ones, especially for a casual novel read like this)

Now, characters. If you want to write a story with a sweeping, epic scale, or if you want to tightly constrain the number of people your story is about, I guess it’s possible to give everyone involved a meaningful character arc. Now.... is it always necessary? Is it always possible? Does it always make sense? No, of course not. If you want to do that, you have to devote real estate to it, and depending on the story you want to tell, it could very possibly be a distraction from your main point, like the idea of mxtx tenderly eulogizing every single character who dies even incidentally. Lan Qiren doesn’t get a loving examination of his feelings re: his nephews and wei wuxian and political turnover in the cultivation world because it’s not relevant, and also, because his position is pretty static until right near the end of the story. Lan Xichen is arguably one of the most static characters within the book, he seems like the same nice young between Gusu and the present, right up until... just before the end of the story.

You may see where I’m heading with this.

Like, just imagine trying to demand that every important character needs to go through a major life change before the end of your book or else it didn’t count. This just in, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg go through multiple novels without experiencing radical shifts in who they are, stop liking them immediately. I do get that the idea is that Jiang Cheng was a ~bad person~ who didn’t change, but asdgfsd I thought we were over the handwringing over people being allowed to like ““bad”” fictional characters. The man isn’t even a canonical serial killer, he’s not my most problematic fave even within this novel.

And here is where it’s a little more relevant that I would quibble with that original post about Jiang Cheng’s arc. He’s consistently a mean girl, but he goes from stressed, sharp-edged teenager, to grief-stricken, almost-destroyed teen, to grim, cold young adult (and then detours into grim, cold, and grief-stricken until grief dulls with time). He does become an attentive uncle tho. He..... doesn’t experience a radical change in his sense of self, which... it’s...... not all that strange for an adult. And bam, then he DOES experience a radical change, but the needs of the plot dictate that it’s right near the end. And he’s not the focus of the story, baby, wangxian is. He has the last few lines of the story, which nicely communicate his changes to me, but also asdfafas we’re out of story. He was never the main character, it’s not surprising we don’t linger! The extras aren’t beholden to the needs of plot, but they’re also about whatever mxtx wanted to write, and I guess she didn’t feel like writing about Jiang Cheng ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But also. Taking a step backward. Stable characters can fill a perfectly logical place in a story. Like, look at Leia Organa. I’m not saying she has no arc, but I am saying that she’s a solid point of reference as Luke is becoming a jedi and Han is adjusting his perspective. I wouldn’t call her stagnant, the vibes are wrong, but she also isn’t miserable in her sadness swamp, the way Jiang Cheng is.

Or, hell, look at tgcf. The stagnant, frozen nature of the big bad is a central feature of the story. The bwx of now is the bwx of 800 years ago is the bwx of 1500+ years ago. This is not the place for a meta on how that was bad for those around him and for him himself, but I have Thoughts about how being defeated at the end is both a thing that hurts him and relieves him. Mei Nianqing is a sympathetic character who’s also pretty darn static. Does Ling Wen have a character arc, or do we just learn more about who she already is and what her priorities always were? I’m going to cut myself off here, but a character’s delta between the beginning of a story and the end of a story is a reasonable way to judge how interesting writing character meta is, and is a very silly metric to judge their worth, and even if I guessed at what the basic logic is, for this character, I am still baffled that it’s being put forth as a real talking point.

(also, has it jumped ship to any other characters yet? have people started applying it in other fandoms as well? please let me know if this is the case, I am wildly curious)

(no, but really, if anyone is arguing that bwx is gross specifically because he had centuries to self-reflect and didn’t fix himself, i am desperate to know)

And finally. The thing I thought was most self-evident. Did I post about this sometime recently? If a non-central character experiences a life-altering paradigm shift right near the end of the story (without it being lingered over, because non-central character), oh my god. As a fic writer? IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE. This is the most fertile possible ground. If I want to write post-canon canon-compliant material, adsgasfasd that’s where I’m going to be looking. Okay, yeah, the main couple is happy, that’s good. Who isn’t happy, and what can I do about that? Happy families are all alike, while every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, etc.

It’s not everyone’s favorite playground, but come on, these are not uncommon feelings. And frankly, it’s starting to feel a little disingenuous when people act like fan authors pick out the most blameless angel from the cast and lavish good things upon them. I’m not the only one who goes looking for a good dumpster fire and says I Live Here Now. If I write post-canon tgcf fic, it’s very likely to focus on beef and/or leaf. I have written more than one au focusing on tianlang-jun.

And, hilariously. If the problem with Jiang Cheng. Is that he is a toxic man fictional character who failed to grow on his own, and is either unsafe or unhealthy to be around. If the problem is that he did not experience a character arc. If these people would be totally fine with other people liking him, if he improved himself as a person. And then, if authors want to put in the (free! time-consuming!) work of writing that character development themselves. You would think that they would be lauded for putting the character through healthier sorts of personal growth than he experienced in canon. Instead, I am still here writing this because first, I was bothered by these authors being named as “freaks” who are obsessed with their ‘uwu precious tsundere baby’ with a “love language of violence,” and then I was graciously informed that people hate Jiang Cheng because he experiences no character growth.

[ladyyatexel]

I Went On A Manga Binge

So you don't have to

For those of you who have wisely avoided the shreds of it I've left around the blog thus-far, I had some weird notion to go re-experience Yu-Gi-Oh uuuuuh a week ago? We'll go with that. Time is meaningless.

I'd been able to read a good portion of the early manga at the end of highschool, and somewhere in my stacks and stacks of paper is fanart from this dark time, so you know I cared. I also still own a Dark Magician action figure somehow, so. I'd also watched a large portion of the anime with my brother because it had been laced with some kind of crack and we couldn't look away? I remember when we both were just like shit, wait, don't change the channel, I can't stop looking at it. And the next thing we knew we were waiting for new episodes and I was doing research on the Japanese original because I was that kid.

Anyway, unnecessary backstory out of the way, here are some... let's call them Observations and Consequences of having read somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 chapters (and growing) of a manga primarily hinged on card games from a spectrum of sources ranging from boringly lawful to sketchy as fuck.

Surprise actual character that develops in typical shounen fashion being Jounouchi. My limited experiences with the 4Kids dub and only early manga had not painted him in a particularly good light. I don't know if episodes were being aired out of order or if I had just missed the ones that established that he was making shit up as he was going along, but Wow I liked him a lot more going through the manga than I ever did watching the (dubbed, heavily edited and censored and thrown into a slurry machine) anime. I'd managed to come out with the impression that he was just as reasonably experienced with the game as Yugi back in the day. Wild.

I'm now reading every single comic-style post on Tumblr backwards.

Striking inverse to first point, wow, I don't like Seto Kaiba. Though he gets points for his general philosophy of the future, and the line I read in my sketchy online combo of scans and scanlations in which he said, "If God is in your way, you run him down," was Metal As Fuck. I somewhat shame-facedly admit to enjoying him a lot more as an Abridged Series character. (I watched Abridged as it came out back in the day! The experience of watching the anime with my brother had been so fresh that I got all the in jokes about the way things were edited and dubbed, it was great. Series remains influential part of my life to this day, which is hella weird.)

I almost understand how Duel Monsters works now. I don't want this.

That said, wow a lot of the decisions made in the anime made everything a lot more ridiculous than the admittedly already ridiculous original. I got the distinct feeling in the manga that the Duelist Kingdom stuff we were seeing was designed to be used and exploited in ways that don't make sense in an actual cardgame just played on a table like a normal person and this was part of testing everyone to think higher, differently. Maybe this is obvious to everyone already, I don't know. I had always liked that it was very, 'Not so fast, I'm going to blow up the moon to change the tides,' but I'm not really sure the anime gave enough explanation that this was an extra layer added to things for that event? You can see people actively getting used to it in the books, and people who aren't considering the real or 3D nature of it getting owned, but my memory of anime version is everyone just like, 'oh, shucks, fuck me, I forgot to consider the phase of the moon before i played this card, can't believe I forgot.' No one calls Yugi on any of this stuff because it's valid play in that situation. Plus Yami Yugi had mad trickster energy in the beginning and it suited him to think of ways to do things inside these little simulation boxes the way it suited him to set perverts on fire. I imagine the real card game trying to emulate this element as something that would be to its detriment, but I neither know nor particular care haha

Ryou Bakura.

Really, though. I think he became kind of casualty of 'wow, we have a lot of characters who really aren't able to do anything in this story anymore,' despite the fact that his whole inner life could have been as interesting as Yugi's. I always like thinking about the possibilities of stories in which main character falls into magical world and is given magical item and told they're the hero and then they find out they've been the bad guy the whole time. The first several volumes of manga were about the quiet weirdo kid that no one talked to who was always blacking out and turning into a fucked up version of himsef because he was so attached to his ancient Egyptian jewelry, so like, Bakura could have much the same shit going on. I want to know what's happening with him so much. He clearly doesn't love being possessed, but he's also so drawn to the ring. Despite it having stabbed him at least twice and him knowing it's a danger to him and his friends, he keeps being pulled back into it. You see so much more of him being like, 'Oooh, a creepy thing, I love that! :D' in the manga than ever in the anime, which I'm all about. Also more blood. I'm very about that as well. Though my memory of the anime also made it look very much like normal regular daily Bakura was just a weird facade in places before he ever would have been. I think that was it trying to compensate for what people didn't see from the Toei anime, but okay whatever, that I love everything about this guy is not news, I don't need to talk about Bakura excessively here, I'm pretty sure that's gonna show up on my blog by itself

On a related note though, damn, more of these people need to talk to each other. Can we have some existential crisis support clubs or something. Can we get like some apologies or something? "I respect you as a duelist." "Cool, but you literally built a tower designed to specifically assassinate me and my friends? You were supposed to get Better after I retaliated by putting you in a coma, but you kinda didn't." "Why would the coma have made it better" "I just told you it didn't" ---- "Sorry I went along with the plan of your evil parasite stabbing you, misled you, and then also jumped in and took up some real estate in your head too." "I understand, I also have an evil thing inside me that does things while I'm blacked out." "...no, I was conscious for all of that." "Oh." "..." "..." "..." "Do you like Ouija Boards?" "sure okay" ETC. Like damn we are reading shounen manga because no one is talking extensively about their feelings here and I'm tapping my foot angrily.

Holy shit there are so many mythologies happening at once. The ancient family guarding the Egyptian Pharaoh has a surname that's a Mesopotamian goddess. None of the god cards make any Egyptian sense except Ra, and just like. Baaarrrrely. Somewhere either Evil Ring Bakura or Mar/lik makes a reference to cremation and spirits being taken to heaven with smoke which several things, but definitely not Ancient Egyptian. Marik/Malik meanwhile is clearly trying to head Arabic, along with Rishid, but then, hey, our sister is just Isis. Goddess McGoddess. Sometimes they're the same goddess! Her name could be Isis Isis or Ishtar Ishtar. Meanwhile, all the obviously 'occult because Christians think it is freaky' stuff. ~ancient egyptian pentagrams~~~This isn't a complaint, I guess so much as a 'Wow, I can kind of see the cultural spot the author was coming from and where he was aiming' kind of thing.

Wonder where things would have gone if the card games had not been latched onto the way they were.

Managed to forget how gross the pre-cardgames stuff was on the sexual harassment front. I'm glad there was a sort of explanation of everyone drifting away from being dick heads and that that decision was made. It got way more comfortable to read after no one was bringing Yugi p*rn on VHS.

Yugi looks better with a nose, glad we got that upgrade.

Interesting to watch the series style shift as it goes away from being horror to being over the top cardgames and friendship (with blood!). The first picture of Mokuba is fucking Jarring. Also noticed that the nicer a character is, the less their teeth are defined.

Glad manga did not go as completely off the fucking the rails about Marik's face. I never got as far as seeing him back in the day because college occurred, but I remember seeing pictures and stuff and being like, "what in the Fuck happened to that dude, I think the house style has collapsed in on itself"

Things the author Really Likes: motorcycles, belts, SHOES, holy shit the shoes. These are some of the most lovingly rendered sneakers I've ever seen. All the detail on his characters goes straight to their feet and then it's stretched upward until it forms stiff peaks. Gently fold in 3000 years of trauma and bake face down in a crumb coat of scattered mythology. Remove when you roll two zeros.

Where the fuck am I going to put the extremely large omnibus volumes of this comic I purchased in order to balance out how much I would be reading for free on the internet. I should have grasped that a three in one edition would be Thick and yet somehow I was still :O when it arrived. Have I strategically purchased volumes that contain my favorite parts, maybe, what's it to you will i eventually get the whole thing because incomplete book series gnaw on my soul? yes

Wish the transition from "I've murdered several people in delightfully karmic ways" to "all you need is friendship in your heart and cards in your hand" Yami Yugi/Pharaoh had been discussed more/transitioned better. Buddy, where did you get this approved for television high horse? Please go back to strangling people with yo-yos or at least tell me why you stopped.

I still can't tell anything that looks like a big robotic monster apart from any other big robotic monster. My dude, I can't tell cars apart, all these monsters look the same.

Yami Yugi fascinated me way more in highschool? Maybe because it was still super early and the anime was like 'we need to torture you about his origins WeEkLy. Now I'm just like 'wait hold on, can we go back to Bakura and Marik for a minute, there's some extreme unpacking to do here?' Those two are paying so much more in baggage fees here my guy wow

Violently uninterested in any of the spinoff media

[horrorlad]

Horrorlad Reviews: The Dentist (1996)

Or at least, like, talks about it a bunch. 

Boy was I overthinking my first real Horror Lad post! It was going to be Grave Encounters, but that will have to wait, because I got insomnia and decided to rewatch a movie I hadn’t seen seen since I was 14, which wound up being the perfect opportunity to write out a post!

Let’s talk about The Dentist!

So, The Dentist is a 1996 movie starring Corbin Bernsen. It was directed by Brian Yuzna (one of the producers of Re-Animator, he also directed the 1989 body horror film Society which I haven’t seen, though a cursory image search tells me I need to add to my watch list immediately).

Anyway, The Dentist is about a teethsman who catches his wife giving some other guy a BJ and gets so grossed out about it that he has a nervous breakdown about, uh, how dirty mouths are, I guess? He loses his absolute shit (though he didn’t seem to have it all that together to begin with; this guy’s Jack Torrance is way more Kubrick than King), and we the audience get to tag along for all the wacky fun.

Full disclosure: I can’t give an unbiased review of this movie. I watched it several times in high school, then completely forgot about it for ten years, until tonight. There’s too much nostalgia wrapped up in it.

That said, upon rewatching it, I am in LOVE with the structure of it as a film. You know how, some movies, you can tell that the people behind the scenes are having a blast? This is one of those movies. The structure of the shots vary wildly, and I suspect that there was not one tripod or stabilizer on that set. The makeup and effects are fun, every actor has an opportunity to shine at least once, and the pacing is totally bonkers. I will note, however, that for a slasher movie the confirmed death count is pretty low, AND most of the murders are less dentistry-related than you might expect. Still, it’s a good time, and right now it’s available to watch for free (with commercials) on Tubi, which is pretty sweet!

Read on for the content warnings and spoilers. In the meantime, I give The Dentist 3.5 tanks of nitrous oxide (use with caution).

Content warnings and plot synopsis below the cut.

Content Warnings

Also, I don’t really know what to classify this one as, but there is a lot of “ick” factor to this movie — rotting teeth, sludge, etc. If you’re easily squicked out by that sort of stuff, I’d proceed with caution.

Dental torture (and how!) – it’s basically the whole movie, folks.

Sexual assault – multiple instances, including a character having their head forced down while giving oral sex (in a daydream), and another character being assaulted while on nitrous oxide.

Spousal abuse (physical and emotional) – again, there’s a lot of this.

Child abuse – A young child has their gums stabbed by the dentist.

Animal abuse – a dog is shot offscreen.

--------------------------------------

Okay, spoiler time!

Whoo boy, here we go!

I have no idea why I watched this movie so much as a teen. Probably because it was free on FearNet (remember FearNet?) and I would watch just about anything.

Watching it as an adult, my first thought is… man this is weirdly paced. My second thought is that there’s a lot more non-dental-related murders than I would have expected, but we’ll come back to that.

So, our hero(?) is a dentist, and we meet him at the beginning of a framing device, miming dentistry and offering to tell us about his story. The bulk of the movie is then a flashback about how he got to where he is, interspersed with his monologuing or whatever. We meet him and his wife (who are a straight couple in a movie and thus required to completely hate one another) on their anniversary, a fact which becomes clear while he’s in the middle of throwing a fit about his laundry.

Pictured: a totally hinged man. Nothing unhinged going on here, no sir.

At any rate, he gets all suspicious after an interaction with the pool guy, and catches his wife having an affair with the guy. He continues framing-device-monologuing about decay and the world being filthy and all that, daydreams about assaulting his wife and murdering the pool boy, etc. He follows the pool guy to the neighbor’s house, acts all weird, shoots a dog — your basic Tuesday.

Eventually, he winds up at the office, starts hallucinating, assaults a couple of patients, and finally calls an early end to the day (self care is important). We get this delightful (in a heavy-handed sort of way) scene that keeps cutting back and forth between him setting out spooky dental tools and his wife getting dressed for the big anniversary surprise he’s has planned, and that’s when things really start to go haywire.

Okay.

So like.

I get that he’s a dentist.

I get that he’s a dentist whose whole shtick is having the themed exam rooms (though why we have aaaalll these rooms for a bunch of hygienists and one dentist is a little beyond me).

But you mean to tell me that this dude’s special anniversary surprise for his wife was to show her his new, opera-themed dental exam room?

“Oh, honey… you really, really shouldn’t have…”

Like, I know he’s settled on a revenge plot by this point, but I still definitely believe that this guy was legitimately planning the entire time to show his wife his fancy new dental suite as an anniversary surprise. Not to be that guy, but no wonder she was having an affair.

Honestly though, I love this scene. I love the camera PoV shots as he shows off the dental suite, I love the excessive gesturing with his left hand. I love how the scene starts off with his point-of-view of her, and then transitions into her point-of-view of him, cut with those big beautiful teeth-yanking shots. It’s ridiculous.

And then, they get home, he has some monologuing about the pool, etc.

Next scene, it’s the next day, some cops come to ask questions about the murdered dog, his wife is out back on a pool chair with her giant sunhat covering her face (the way normal, totally-not-drugged people hang out by the pool) while the pool guy does his pool guy stuff. Eventually the cops leave, yadda yadda yadda, the pool guy scoops the wife’s tongue out of the pool, he sees how fucked up she is, the dentist murders the shit out of him. It’s beautiful.

Don’t you love it when you finish your to-do list first thing in the morning?

The end.

Wait, no, that’s not right.

Somehow, there’s still almost half a movie left.

This movie starts with this dude fighting with his wife, catching his wife cheating with the pool guy, hallucinating his wife’s nasty mouth on everyone, etc. You’d think that, with his wife tortured all to shit and the pool guy dead, the movie would have wrapped up.

I mentioned before that the pacing of the movie is weird, which it is. I mean, he has his “oop guess I’m evil now” scene on his way to work the next day, which basically means that just over half of this movie is the origin story. It could be longer, with the big climactic nonsense taking up the last quarter or so. It could be shorter, with him freaking out about his wife, losing his shit, and having a proper dental rampage. Instead, The Dentist flies in the face of conventional story structure.

But this man is a busy man. He’s a dentist, damn it.

He has to get back to work!

Things are happening fast now, let’s get condensed.

We go back to work, he pulls some malpractice shit on that lady whose dog he shot yesterday, then strangles Jessica-the-hygienist (I think that’s her job) when she calls him on it. Later, a man from the IRS comes in and uses the dentist’s shady tax junk to get free dental work which is, uh, inadvisable. IRS man, Marvin Goldblum, starts talking about our dentist’s wife (and about how unhinged shiksas are in bed, in case we somehow we didn’t piece together that he’s an awful Jewish caricature), and I’m sure the rest of his appointment goes totally normally.

Get a guy who looks at you like this.

Meanwhile, the cops are definitely onto him regarding the murder of that dog (after all, murdering dogs is THEIR turf). They go to his house, where he left the body of the pool guy he murdered just laying around outside for anyone to find (which they do). Then they go upstairs and find his wife, who is alive but so fucked up.

Back at the office, Karen-the-other-hygienist, looking for her coworker who got murdered earlier, stumbles upon the very fucked up IRS dude. We get to listen to the dentist give a little monologue about how grossed out he is that his wife put some dude’s “dirty, rotten… in her mouth!” before he injects air into a vein in Karen-the-other-hygienist’s neck to kill her.

Next up, this girl who has been waiting for two days to get her braces off gets called back. She’s adorable and chipper, so this, of course, can only go well. When’s the last time you had your dentist pull a gun on you?

Our scrappy youngster runs off, and he gives chase (we find that Mr. Goldblum’s jaw elongation procedure is going well by the way), before eventually letting her go after she promises to take very, very good care of her teeth.

After all, he’s got his next job to get to.

Let’s go teach dental students the importance of pulling out everyone’s teeth!

Yeeep, he’s a teacher! And after he shoots one of his students while hallucinating, the cops show up, resulting in the slowest chase scene any movie has ever had (I mean the dude is literally just briskly walking down the hall and he still gets away from them). Anyway, the dentist winds up in an auditorium where a woman is practicing her opera singing. The dentist is entranced by this (we know he loves opera from that scene with his wife earlier) and reaches out to the singer, but he hallucinates his wife’s hecked up face on her and drops to his knees, presumably to have the rest of his nervous breakdown. The cops… uh… well, they just kinda stand around looking disapprovingly at him while he sits on the floor. And that’s… that’s it, I guess?

“Nah, let him rest, he’s had a big day.” 

 In our final scene, we have some orderlies at his new mental institution drag him down for his regular appointment, where his wife (who I guess is a dentist now) starts drilling at his teeth. This may or may not be a hallucination. It probably doesn’t matter.

Wow. That certainly was a film.

Alright, so, I’ve been typing up my thoughts as I watch, and I think I’ve figured out what I like about this movie, that had me coming back to it over and over as a youngster. There are some movies that just look fun to film, and this is one of them. A number of the shots are really charming, for lack of a better word. There’s the anniversary scene with his wife I mentioned before, but so many others — this movie plays around with point of view, extreme close-ups, some very fun effects used to indicate the hallucinations… there’s even a sideways shot of one of the cops coming down the stairs. I seem to have a real fondness for that sort-of manic, anything-goes approach to filming. Related side note: is there a single steady shot on this whole film? I’m beginning to doubt it.

Corbin Bernsen does a great job. I mean, all the actors do, really, but he is something else. Like, I can’t think offhand of many actors who could successfully take the character “dentist in bad marriage has a nervous breakdown because his wife gives someone else a blow job and it grosses him out; goes on torturemurder spree” without overacting to the point of distraction. “What are you talking about, this dude’s hammier than Easter dinner,” you say. Now, I get the urge here, but I have to disagree; Bernsen plays a fantastic Emasculated White Guy Throwing A Fit.

That picture I posted up there, after the bit about the laundry argument? A dude who makes that face over the idea of wearing the wrong cuff links to work is at most twelve seconds away from completely losing his shit at any given moment. And the dude’s anniversary surprise for his wife was to show off his new, opera-themed dental exam room; none of this behavior seems too off the wall for that character. Granted, I haven’t seen the sequel yet, and the image searches do suggest that our dear dentist is about to use his well-cared-for teeth to chew the hell out of some scenery in The Dentist 2, but in this movie? I’m just saying it’s not an unbelievable portrayal.

Disgruntled white dudes aside, the rest of the cast seems to have a fun time too. Shout out to the receptionist literally sobbing over what a great dentist this guy is (stunning work). If nothing else, stop by for wee baby Mark Ruffalo before he was famous. It’s adorable.

LOOK AT HIM.

ALL THAT SAID, I have to state again how surprised I am by the sheer number of not-dental-related murders! Like, by my count, this guy commits a hefty amount of malpractice, but for a guy on a torturemurder spree, he sure does seem to keep his torture and his murder fairly separate. Let’s tally it:

I’m tired, let’s wrap this up. The Dentist is a fun movie about a dude who loses his shit, does some dental torture, does some murder, does ZERO dental torturemurders, and then just kinda tuckers himself out and sits down. It’s a big silly mess, and I love it.

Tortures: six

The kid at the beginning, the lady he sexually assaults (it counts), his wife (not dead), that lady whose dog he shot, Marvin the IRS guy (alive when last we see him), and the person at the dental school near the end.

Murders: three people, one dog.

The dog (shot), the pool guy (knifed), Jessica-the-hygienist (strangled), Karen-the-other-hygienist (air injected into artery), and that’s… it..? He does shoot that person at the dental school, but it doesn’t appear to be a fatal wound, and Marvin the IRS guy was alive when we saw him last.

Torturemurders: HECKIN’ ZERO.

Zero! None of the tortures are murdered, and nobody he murders is tortured! What the heck kind of slasher dentist doesn’t even kill people via dentistry? No wonder everyone looks down on him at the end.

Alright, first post written. I’m going to bed.

[eldritchsurveys]

577.

How was your day today? Anything special happen? >> It was.... a weird day. I had a dream last night about Lane (fellow survey-taker), for some reason. We were friends, I guess? Because I was hanging out at his house -- he lived on this sprawling farmland with all kinds of vegetables and fruit trees and shit. And I recall being kind of weird and sad at points and he was just chill with it. I think dreamspace!me gets put through the wringer a lot (case in point: the dream that this one merged into was about me having to pretend to be a slave to another person in order to survive...???) and it was nice to see my dreamspace self just exist and chill for a minute. It was just funny that my dream-consciousness chose this particular person -- not even a person I legitimately know-know! -- as the actor in that story, lmao. Well, thanks for being a good friend, dream!Lane. Anyway, the rest of the day involved a annoying wade through some red tape, grocery shopping, watching a lot of YouTube videos that Sparrow was showing me, going to the tree lighting ceremony downtown, and the weekly meetup at Cafe Boba. So it was pretty busy for me.

Did you help anyone out today? >> Not that I’m aware. Are you thinking or pondering anything? >> Not at the moment. What’s your standing on abortion? >> Pro-choice is my standing. Do you think politics is the art of lies or democracy and opinions?: >> I think it’s both.

Are you into anything, like music or art? >> Sure... lmao, this question was just worded so vaguely. “Do you like... stuff?” Explain to me your clothing style, how do you like to dress? >> I like to dress like a lazy goth metalhead. Lot of black, lot of band shirts, lot of pins and patches, and skulls on everything. And sometimes a dash of the theatrical, when I can manage it. Do you have a MySpace or Facebook? >> I don’t have a MySpace (does anyone still have one by now?) but I do have a facebook, begrudgingly. I don’t really do anything on there, I just have it as an open line of communication since it seems like that’s the only way to keep in touch with most of the people I know/meet. Have you been to church this week? >> No. Do you devote your time to any clubs or activities? >> I haven’t really found any clubs or activities to which to devote my time, except for the West Michigan Geeks meetup group. Do you take free samples at the grocery store? >> Yeah, especially at Trader Joe’s. Their samples are always awesome. How often do you go grocery shopping? >> Weekly. Have you ever stayed up all night talking on the phone, internet? >> Yeah, back in the day. What’s a career that interests you? >> --- If you could join any band, what band would you choose? >> I really don’t want to be in a band. Do you go to school? >> No. What’s one thing you would change about your school? >> ---

Do you plan on attending college? >> No. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband? >> Yes.

Are you a Republican or Democrat? >> No. Did you vote in the last election? >> I voted in... a recent election. I think it was last year sometime. But I haven’t voted in the most recent election. I need to re-register because I’ve had my name changed. Aren’t you grateful for the brave men and women in the Army? >> I’m not grateful for them, because they haven’t done anything for me. I know the popular opinion is that they’re “fighting for our freedoms”, but I don’t believe that’s what they’re doing, so I have no reason to be grateful. I respect military folk as I respect any other human being, but I literally give no fucks about their job. Have you ever made a survey that had been taken over 500 times? >> I doubt it. Why exactly do you take surveys? >> Because, for whatever reason, I genuinely enjoy it. Do you plan on posting this anywhere? >> Nope. This post actually does not exist, it’s an illusion. Rockband or Gutair Hero? >> I enjoy both, gameplay-wise and songlist-wise! But I’ve always hated the controller that comes with Rockband, because the buttons on that one don’t give me the tactile response that I need when I’m playing. Algebra or English? >> --- Would you be interested in being a journalist? >> I would not. Are you camera shy? >> I’m not shy about having my photo taken, I just don’t want my photo taken all the time for, like, no reason. Have you ever skipped class? >> No. I was too afraid of my father. Have you ever gotten CAUGHT skipping class? :D >> --- Do you have a ‘cool’ principal or teacher? >> --- Are you parents pretty chill? >> --- Do you make okay grades? >> --- You better! So, what’s your name kid? >> Mordred. Is it night time or day time? >> It is nighttime. Don’t you just love the internet? What website do you visit often? >> I absolutely love the internet, and I’m glad to be alive in an era when it exists. I visit this website often, hah. Do you have a Bzoink Profile? >> Yeah, just so I don’t have to click through that “this survey is rated R” warning all the time. Can you code HTML on your own? >> I used to be pretty proficient at it, but in the years since I was actively into it, things have changed so much that I doubt I could navigate HTML with anywhere near the same dexterity that I used to. Are you going to have a good rest of the week? >> The week is pretty much over, and I’m reasonably sure tomorrow will be fine. 

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 6 - Meat Page 16

==>  (Whoa, went a long while before splitting posts, there.  Dangerous, with how often I’ve lost stuff to Tumblr page reloads in the past.)

Oh, you’ve realized Zazzerpan’s relevance as foreshadowing for the trolls or whatever, Rose?

Oh my god, PLEASE don’t put Rose inside a fucking robot.  >:|

Oh SHIT wait.  That one wizard Roxy named her cat after who wanted all the knowledge in the world, got overloaded and then crushed by the giant textbook or whatever???  That’s disturbingly Rose-similar here.  D:

Rose, puns.  Please.

Hm, you think it applies to you all now instead of the trolls?  Huh.  Do you think some of you might become villains and get Just deaths?

..Huh, wait.  Numerological significance?  Are we actually learning what 413 means?  Or learning that it was meant to be bullshit all along instead?  I’m “Hmmm”ing loudly either way...

Ow, ouch.  So a Light player wasn’t designed to properly live outside of canon significance, or??

Ooh.  She’s not sure that if she opens herself up to all the knowledge of her other selves, that it’d be “her” anymore.  A pretty legitimate fear... and one Dirk is perfectly disposed to disabuse her of.  As a Heart player, he’d understand better than most that the entire combination of one’s various states over all timelines IS you, and the unique direction your will and uniqueness embodies across whatever it touches.  Or something.

...Wait, wait a minute.  Before I keep reading........ I didn’t actually CLICK the candy button yet.  What if Candy just redirects to AO3 or something.  Like, the candy bit is all of our fanfics.  Oh jeez.

Okay reading on before that possibility drives me insane.

DIRK: I’m not sure anyone should be allowed to have that much foresight. Especially a guy like me.

...Mhmm, especially since in part that’s how we got Doc Scratch, yeah.

Reading to the end of this page, and........

Yeah, what the FUCK just happened.

So... is this Dirk BEING a villain?  Doing some sort of weird almost cherubic Eye thing to kind of supplant Rose as he becomes a Scratch-like fanfic narrator or... Let me reread these last few paragraphs a couple times...

Is he really sort of “puppeteering” Rose?  Is this like the birth of a god-tier villain or just a temporary respite he’s giving her sort of underhandedly for an actual good cause to help her out of her situation??  Or is “death” or a death of the self the actual solution he had for her mess???  I mean... the metatextual awareness bit that he’s speaking through in the last sentence is clearly something like what comes of ascending completely and going beyond the story to be able to write it like Caliborn or Doc Scratch might or... y’know what, fuck it.  I’ll understand it in later pages.  I have to keep reading if this is going to make sense to me.

This next button better not lead straight back to the fucking selection screen again.

==>

Oh shit, a giant Dirk section.  Only fitting that he might have been writing most of this all along possibly.

Undercurrent of narrative significance.  Oh shit.  Is he going to go off about Light, about the story parts not mattering?  Or that the fact that this IS a story and... from what I accidentally skimmed in sentences below before reading further, how we’re trapping them in a story by reading it or something???  Hence the idea that their existences are being “blighted” by the subtext of narrative significance, and would be better FREE of it?

Huh.  Is this really going to work?  As, like... a body slam of people who were too caught up in the forest of narrative purpose to see into the trees of the point he wanted to make with the finale?  It’s practically Andrew talking to the audience from within the story about their frustrations, heh.

Yeah, this whole rant is pretty awesome so far.  I forgot to mention it a few paragraphs ago, but when you look at the story list, the Epilogues are listed as “stories of dubious authenticity”, so is this whole thing like... how DIRK might have written the ending out?  Just to emphasize further that this whole thing is kind of pointless compared to the infinite possibility that was the reward for their escape from the confines of such story-stuff?

Cool.  Sounds like we’re seeing the “good end” that Dirk would have written for this story if he were to write one that still answers plotlike questions, or something similar to it.  That and/or he’s also engineering things in-canon -- or as “canon” as the victory planet is -- to follow all this for the end result he has in mind, and it comes across as practically Doc Scratch-y in the way it ties in metatextual awareness and stuff.  Either way, it DOES feel like Andrew might successfully be making his point.

==>

Pff.  This is going to be a bit interesting.  And, of course, unstuck-in-canon John can hear the narrator speaking.

And now John has ANOTHER story to get annoyed at the narrator of, heh.

The tooth is poisoned? Really? Did you just make that up or?

Okay, why suddenly the wallet, fanfic writer? Is he going to find touching pictures or just captchalogue the black hole?

This is all starting to feel a whole lot less serious, and I can’t help but figure that’s the intent.

==>

Pff, back to the B plot.  Yay Jade!  --Please don’t be metatextually aware like John and let’s get more actual story.

Phew, seems to be the case

...Is Karkat going to remake this post-scarcity society to be more Communist? Is that where we’re going here?

Alright, Roxy’s gonna be all voidy and Neutral and not want an impact on the election, from the sound of it?

GAAAHHH Jade is in love with all her friends and afraid of being alone.  AAAH FEELS

--Oh huh, so because Jane’s been in the distance putting on the Perfect act she thinks she has to pull, she’s gone down in her friends’ opinions even if that isn’t really her???  That’s pretty reassuring as an alternative, actually.  Leave it to Roxy to see everything crystal goddamn clear as usual.

Ooh, pronoun mishap.

Holy SHIT Roxy’s gonna go along with it.  That’s nonbinary-awesome!  And Dirk’s just fucking flabbergasted, I love it.

Pff, Dirk’s screwing it up outside too

yep, everyone ectobiologically had kids with everyone, really.

Oh, ow.  Something about the whole black hole green sun thing is fucking with her.  That, or, like...  Huh, might the whole metatextual ascension thing mean that she actually BECOMES that other Jade floating about for a hot minute, the one in the A-side plot??

==>

Ow this excellent narrative is pretty painful.  Like, empathetically inducing pain through really good description of pain and angst.  Ow.

Oh shit, alt!Calliope has a plan.  Maybe she’s able to use this black hole to re-begin Paradox Space and close the loop once everything’s absorbed or something, and needs a Jade’s help for it?

==>

Phew, some relative silliness with some of the others.  That vivid description of a Jade’s suffering was starting to give my stomach a cramp.  Actually, ANY vivid description of Jade’s suffering gives my stomach a cramp.  Or any allusion to it, even, heck even without WORDS.  I saw a Jadey song redux show up on my Youtube dashboard a few nights ago and had to turn it off after less than thirty seconds because I was about to throw up listening to the tune and staring at the image from my stomach clenching SO HARD.  I am WAY too attached to Jade in particular to tolerate her suffering without serious emotional feedback on my part.

Okay, breathe.  Breathe deeply, and keep reading...

....PFF, yes, Karkat.  Finally acknowledge it’s disgusting.  Birth is disgusting from any species really.

Yaaaay Kanaya! :)

Pfffff, Dave does record scratches with his hands mid-conversation like a fucking dab.  He would.

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

I’m laughing

We internalize and project the quality in very different ways, however, which is why I’m going to win.

Win?!????

Win WHAT, the election???  Is that your only grand plan or... I mean fuck, way to be Doc-Scratch-like ominous!  Reading on...

...Yeah, Feferi was definitely a proto-Fascist too.  :)

Oh, huh. “Power Corrupts In Small Steps”... is this whole President thing going to be a big-ass metaphor for gaining your God powers without abusing them?? And pointing out that Jane is hella abusing her status in a way that COULD become villainous if it goes too far?  Victory is supposed to give you the ability to create a universe, but you’re not necessarily supposed to lord over it with an iron fist...

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

Pffffffff

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME! KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

I am laughing out loud here

pff dave’s doubtlessly imagined this at least as much as the rest of us

YESSS make fun of ship names some more, especially the ship names I’m not a fan of even though I’m such a fan of the pairing :D

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

Why do I love that sentence so much.  Is it just because it has the word wife in it.  Probably.

At the other side of the cavern, Dave and Karkat bicker about what their combo kids would look like, in the event that they decided to stop being such laughable wusses and began fornicating like two cartoon animals of different species who have given into their lust.

Pffff.  Yeah, Dirk would put it that way.

Pffffff.  Not as adept at handling all sides of the story at the same time as you were as part of Doc, eh?

==>

Reading reading reading... Oh, adorable, he tried to slip a fish pun into Meenah’s name but couldn’t think of one.

...Oh SHIT, is he going to give Meenah the ring of life she wanted??? :D

Oh pff, that works too.  :D

==>

Okay, time for maybe at least a SLIGHT explanation of whatever the FUCK Dirk might have or might not have done to Rose or something????

...Huh.  What exactly are you trying to “fix” about Kanaya and Rose’s relationship, Dirk?  Something that didn’t fix itself with just the two of them together?

I mean...... Rose’s substance abuse never fixed itself when it was just two of them together on the first-run meteor.  And she’s been taking pills and trying to stave off her destiny out of fear while her wife hasn’t really been digging into her insecurities... I mean maybe he has a point.

SHADOWS around her??????  D:

==>

Yeah yeah, John drifting.  I just remembered what one of those “server beacons” they were mentioning actually is, too, visually.  Knowing it had an escape route helped.

What are you even gonna do with the slippers, gift them to Terezi when she comes flying in?  (Also, right, just remembered he’s a Breath player so it’s only natural that he actually finds whatever there is to find “coincidentally” around here, like that wallet.)

Ooh, you REALLY were thinking about Terezi over the past years from the sound of it.  And here she is or whatever.  :)

1 C4N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 1N H3R L33T SP34K W1THOUT 4NY 4SS1ST4NC3 3XC3PT C4PS LOCK ON 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS  >:]

==>

Okay okay okay wait.  Her shadow is talking??? Is this, like... Jungian shadow stuff? Inversion shadow stuff?  What the fuck is going on.  It better not be Inversion-related.

Let me read that again.

Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking.

That’s weird and I don’t entirely know what it means. I’d better just keep fucking reading.

Fun philosophical banter.  I didn’t know what “Hegelian dialectics” were until I read some big rant on someone’s Fallout New Vegas playthrough earlier last month.

ROSE: I think free will is a thing, sure. DIRK: Are you sure about that? ROSE: ... DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident?

Ah, here we’re going with some Ultimate Riddle-y stuff.

Or wait, are we adding a bit on to that concept now?  Because it now seems like a large PART of the Ultimate Riddle stuff I covered (FUCK dropbox for breaking all the images) that might be revealed in this part of the damn epilogue is the whole the-only-way-to-have-true-free-will-is-to-escape-the-narrative-imposed-on-us or something along with the rest of it.

Hm, that whole “become One God” bit that Dirk ranted about in the beginning of one of the John sections... is that his ambition here?  I didn’t comment on the rantparagraph earlier because the “one” part of it threw me as possibly just some philosophical stuff he was musing about, but it’s like... I mean Dirk is the narrator right now, and it sounds like he wants to *BE* the narrator.  Like, become the one truly in control of this whole story.  With his orange Andrew-colored text or whatever.  Is that what he meant by “win”, winning control of the entire narrative, turning everyone else in the story into mere extensions of himself that he was “writing” by virtue of being the only author?

And him getting thwarted in that task, showing that it’s better if there really is NO narrator and the characters can do whatever they imagine in infinite branches and our imaginations, is the victory that proves the point of the story.  Or something.  Hmm.

Also, huh.  Like... I mean that IS a natural extension of a Prince of Heart if he were to turn to villainy.  A grand ambition to destroy everyone’s individuality until they’re nothing but Himself.  Right?

DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that.

Because she’ll “BE” you?  Because you’ll be everyone?  Hm.

DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness. DIRK: It’s enveloping you now, in a way you can’t see. Keeping your thoughts solid, your identity anchored to your physical form as it strains to hold itself together. DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes. DIRK: Maybe what you see will help you through this.

Okay so maybe this all ain’t TOTALLY fucking sinister.  Just partially.  Hmm.

I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere.

Hahahahah.  So the candy part IS written.  I mean I was pretty sure, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged here.  Pretty awesome.  I won’t stop here to read it, I’ll get to the candy part eventually as a nice dessert.

All she needs is a nudge in the right direction.

We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?

Stop being so incestuous.  Dirk, you’re just getting off on the CONCEPT of incest being part of the flavor of all this, aren’t you.  That’s why you kept pushing things this way, you want it to be as uncomfortable as possible.

...wait, yeah he’s just talking about being a metatextual ascended, isn’t he.

Her body should be dead now.

I’M SORRY WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.

And Rose has... what, ascended but somehow given in to Dirk’s puppeteering of existence, or?  Ugh.

Next post, I wanna keep reading already to get through all this bullshit.  Then once I’ve figured it all out, I can rest comfortably back with the Candy side which Rose practically just promised me is potentially TOO SUGARY which is really enticing as a prospect.

[the-only-universe-here]

Tell me about ocs. Is now legal obligation

Okay I've rewritten this like three times because I want this to be a good and fun post for everyone and maybe try to not completely overwhelm this ask with the many... Many conflicting character thoughts I've been thinking about recently which spans across like 8/9 characters and like three universes because I'm a goddamn mESS.

So instead of all that I'm going to assign the class some reading which you can find here and here about my team KRML, which I'm always ready and interested in talking about, and tell you some about my fan apprentices for The Arcana.

Starting us off is the apprentice that I initially used for both Julian and Asra's routes, Verun Levvie. Before I started playing the Arcana I honestly didn't really have much for her - she was just a neat little self insert cameo in a couple of my stories.

Originally she ran a magic shop with the main intent to help people with their dreams. Her magic would basically snatch the memories of dreams out of their minds and she would craft dream catchers from threads that she basically infused with their dreams. Nightmares, good dreams, and anything else. If they had a recurring nightmare they wanted to get rid of, or if they wanted to keep the dream catcher and be able to re-live that memory... Yknow.

She's also a mess and she can't help but copy the tendencies of people around her. So if she's around a certain boisterous, flirty beanpole man? Oops now she's flirting back and where the hell did she get all this confidence?? Or if she's around her favorite magician boyfriend she'll end up following along with his shenanigans and getting into some sort of trouble with him. But on her own, she's just generally very quiet and very very introverted. Like, vampire hissing as the curtains are drawn back, don't touch me don't look at me unless you're one of my boys. Also yes, she's in a polyamorous relationship with Julian and Asra and I have custom background stories for the three of them that I will spare you from... Unless you really wanna hear about it.

5'7" of Verun to love her boys with... Also she has like. Honey-amber eyes is how I describe it in my writing? If I can pinpoint the exact color I'll show it when I can. But I'm infatuated with the color. Also I stole an hairstyle/hair color from my sister for her hair, so just think of like, red-orange-white fire-ish lookin hair. I don't know how to describe it without sharing photos of my sis but its cool and I'm absolutely too fuckin powerful in a universe where people can have purple-pinkish hair and red eyes.

Akaira is my second fan apprentice, and uh. Okay just an fyi but my fan apprentices all exist in their own universes so there's no messy storylines crossing.

Because Akaira ends up fucking all of the main male LI's except for Muriel, because the big forest man reminds her entirely too much of her sister and that would just be WEIRD. (He also probably hates Akaira so. There's that.) And that's all before the game actually starts. She's like, the barely-has-morals thot. A classic chaotic neutral rogue multiclassing as a ranger, if you know D&D. She has Looks™ and knows how to use them to get what she wants. And if someone isn't tempted or swayed by her flirting and beauty, she's handy with both knife and bow and has no qualms about spilling blood.

It should be no surprise to anyone that her main LI is Lucio, because honestly... She's kind of a gold digger and Lucio is also a barely-has-morals thot.

But! She does actually have backstory filled out, since I've had her character for years and years now. Her first memories are uh. Well, being shot with an arrow to the neck, which left her with her first scar. The man that shot her, thinking the rustling on the bushes of the forest to be an animal, took her to his home out in the middle of fuckin nowhere and added a new daughter to his household. So Akaira was given a name and she acquired two loving parents and a sister. Everything was fine for a while, but then her mother got sick and barely managed to hold onto life for years, until she passed away and everything turned to shit. Her father turned into an abusive asshole, driven mad with grief, and her sister became distant and harsh and just didn't really care about anything. Her and her sister had been taught from a young age how to fight in self defense, but at some point they started... "sparring". Sparring, but like, with just a little bit of blood. So from about the age of sixteen Akaira started gathering scars from her sister mostly, though her father left his fair share as well. (Akaira is always rather sensitive about being called a bitch...) But eventually, Akaira decided to forsake her father and the last name he had given her, so she left her home and got herself into some mercenary work, or whatever would sustain her, traveling around until she got to Vesuvia. Along the way she discovered her talent at manipulation and pickpocketing, which ended up with a lot of "free dinners" for herself 😉

She's also quietly self conscious about her scars, though outwardly she has no issue with flaunting them. The only times that you'll see her actually flinch when people talk about her scars is when she's already having a really, really bad day. Akaira is also like... Weirdly masochistic when it comes to continuing to spar with her sister. Even now she'll go adventure and meet up with her sister and ask to spar even when she knows she'll end up bleeding (sometimes a dangerous amount).

I'm pretty sure that she's also like. My most attractive character, at least out of my girls. Like, 5'4" of blonde loveliness. Long, gently curly hair, light blue eyes, thighs thick enough to kill a man. Makeup game is Stronk. She herself is able to throw her sister, and her sister is a 6'10 monster of a person, and she has the muscle mass to prove it.

Buuuut anyway, onto Aldafa Hylene. Who, surprise, is Akaira's sister! Ahahahaha. I swear she isn't as bad as she seems based on Akaira's side of the story. Like she is, but she isn't. She took her mother's loss really hard, as a child cut off from society would. And since, at that age, she was trained and able to take care of herself alone in the forest... She did. She would spend days or weeks alone in the wilderness, venting her anger and sadness to the things of the forest in whispers and twangs of her bowstring and angry howls back at the wolf packs. She found solace in the primal forces of nature, of fighting for her life with every action when she was alone, and when it came to Akaira welcoming chances to fight those wild instincts just... Continued on into it. So she'd leave cuts and bruises on her sister and then wrap her wounds with bandages and salves and other healing things. She'd also make sure her father left Akaira alone for the time she had to heal, though sometimes when she wasn't there he would aggravate Akaira into lashing out at him. (And if she knew the terribly grievous wounds that he left with his own blades by sight, Akaira didn't need to know. She could deny for a little longer.) No matter what she did, her father never lashed out at Aldafa, so she just kind of refused to believe that he was as horrible as Akaira seemed to believe. (Her sister's blood was on her own hands only, not his. She was responsible for it, she was so sorry for it.)

But eventually, she followed Akaira out of their home and found her own way to Vesuvia. She met Asra and yknow, she didn't mind him. Maybe a bit louder and more energetic than what she preferred, but she knew her tolerance for people was pretty unique. It probably took her like ten or twenty times of her meeting Muriel in the forest for him to decide that this new friend of Asra's was okay, so he gave her one of his little charms for her to remember him with... And after that she would go to him when she needed a break from the city. They're both very quiet, neither of them like people, and honestly having that sort of mutual thinking is perfect. And then it turned into Aldafa spending days with him... And then weeks. And then they just unofficially started living together.

Best thing? Aldafa is just as tall as Muriel, and while she's kind of a beanpole herself (yknow, 6'10 hooman) she's got some serious muscle to her, just like Akaira. Also she has no idea what a haircut is, she'll just take a couple inches off of her own hair with her hunting knife so her hair is short and patchy af but she gives exactly zero shits.

ANYWAY ITS GETTING ONTO 3AM BECAUSE I'M A DUMBASS BUT THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK AND LETTING ME RANT ABOUT THESE THREE I GOTTA GO BED NOW

[betterdaysareatoenailaway]

Out on the Interstate: S’more Thoughts on Neil Young

I don’t have any fentanyl stories today, so I’m writing another Neil Young post. (Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to mention heroin. You’ll see.) I still have a ton of fent stories, don’t worry bout that. I just don’t feel like mining my memory for any right now. Instead, I wanna talk about my favourite Neil Young song ever. It’s called “Interstate.” This performance was recorded at Farm Aid 1985. Young’s backing band at the time were called the International Harvesters, which is a funny joke (International Harvester was a company that manufactured tractors and other agricultural equipment). Young was on a roll in the 80s with clever band names. Later on he would front Neil Young & the Restless. Anyway whoever is playing piano with Young was the perfect choice, plucking individual keys instead of slathering big chords all over the descending minor chord progression. Young’s guitar is tuned to drop D, a favourite tuning of his throughout his career, from “Cinammon Girl” to “World On A String” to “Be the Rain,” and you can hear the low D buzzing throughout, giving the song a raw off-the-cuff feel. Of course, Neil Young is known for his raw performances, especially on albums like Tonight’s the Night, but by the time the 80s rolled around he was making albums with a lot of processing and production like Landing on Water, along with silly genre exercises like Everybody’s Rockin’ and Old Ways. 

Young would eventually be sued by his own record label, Geffen, for making “uncharacteristic music.” David Geffen would eventually apologize to him, but he wasn’t wrong that Young’s early 80s records were a bit of a disaster. This performance, however, shows that Young hadn’t lost a single step when it came to live performance. His vocal is clear and convincing, world weary but still kinda defiant, like all his best songs. And whether those are real or synth strings, they sound great, and really tug at one’s heartstrings. They have the spook, that high lonesome train whistle feel. To my ears, all the best Neil Young songs are haunting and plaintive. There is a loneliness at the heart of most of Young’s best work (ever hear “Albequerque”? Prolly the saddest song to ever mention the eating of ham?) Neil Young doesn’t write carefree party music. Hell, he once recorded an entire album about the death of his friend and former bandmate Danny Whitten - and to a lesser extent, former roadie Bruce Berry who was fired for pawning instruments to buy heroin...told ya I’d find a way to mention the drug ;). What I’m saying is, Young is no stranger to sad songs. As to which song is his saddest, there are many contenders, but as Young’s biographer himself admits, “Interstate is Neil Young’s loneliest song.” I agree.

Young’s longtime producer David Briggs, who knew damn well that “Interstate” was a rare gem, tried to get Young to record it for 1991′s Ragged Glory, but in typical fashion, “[Young] acceded, but perversely,” eschewing the full-band format and recording a solo acoustic version instead. That particular version would eventually see limited release on the vinyl version of Young’s 1996 album Broken Arrow, a forgettable affair that was hammered by critics and disavowed by most members of Crazy Horse. You can find the solo acoustic “Interstate” on YouTube but I’m not gonna post it, simply because it is so freakin’ disappointing. 

I love the line “I can hear a soft voice calling...telling me to bring my guitar home.” In the tradition of the Rolling Stones’ “Moonlight Mile,” "Interstate” is one of the all-time great I’m-A-Lonely-Rock-Star-On-Tour song. A more modern version of this idea can be found in Kurt Vile’s unimaginatively titled “On Tour,” a song where Young’s influence can be identified, especially in the way Vile tunes his lower strings to let them buzz, a technique pioneered by Young in the abovementioned song and most prominently in “Bandit.”

Thank God for YouTube, so that you can hear "Interstate” in all its gorgeous majesty. You can hear Young play the same guitar solo he’s been playing his whole career in minor key masterpieces like “Hey Hey My My,” “Like A Hurricane,” “Goin’ Home,” “Be The Rain.” Every time Young returns to it, you can feel the long shadow of his past, echoes of former greatness, the shambolic glory of his band bashing away at the chords, always emphasizing emotional delivery over technical proficiency. It’s a really really beautiful song, a song I treasure, and I hope you like it.

I’m also posting a rare version of “Shots.”

In “Shots,” Neil Young returns to a technique previously used on “Cortez the Killer,” where he switches from a third person omniscient voice describing trauma and violence to a first person voice describing personal emotion. In Zuma’s “Cortez the Killer,” Young spends two or three verses describing the endeavours of genocidal explorer Hernan Cortes, and also the Aztecs: people worked together/they lifted many stones/they carried them to the flatlands/they died along the way/but they built up with their bare hands what we still can’t do today/and I know she’s living there and loves me til this day. Now, that’s not Shelley, but it’s an effective and jarring switch. Young tries it again in “Shots,” and for me, the effect is even better. For whatever reason, maybe his sharp right turn when he became an outspoken Reagan supporter, or maybe because of the Iran-Contra Affair, Young’s lyrics took on a particular preoccupation with crime, border zones, and desert iconography in the 1980s, manifestations of which can be heard in “Crime in the City (Sixty to Zero Part I)” “Rockin’ In the Free World,” “On Broadway,” and “Eldorado,” all songs that ended up on Young’s last album of the 1980s, Freedom. But because of the remarkable internal consistency of Young’s discography, you can also hear such sentiments in one of his first 1980s releases: “Shots.”  Children are lost in the sand, building roads with little hands Trying to join their father's castles together again Will they make it? Hey, who knows where or when old wounds will mend?  Shots ringing all along the borders can be heard  Striking out like a venom in the sky  Cutting through the air faster than a bird in the night  But I'll never use your love, you know I'm not that kind And so if you give your heart to me I promise to you Whatever we do...that I will always be true To jump from depictions of border violence to gooey Hallmark card sentiments shouldn’t work, yet it does. The words might look silly written down, but the sheer conviction they are sung with, and the sheer power of Young’s loon-like vibrato, is what sells them, at least to my ears and heart. I’m not the first to make the loon comparison, Young’s biographer Jimmy McDonough has done so too. Young’s father Scott was the first writer to compare his son’s unique voice to the sound of the loon cry, a very Canadian sound, associated with Muskoka nights in summer, nights often soundtracked by Young’s vast and varied discography.

Disappointingly, the album version of “Shots,” which appeared on 1981′s Re-ac-tor, is pretty fuckin annoying, with its overblown machine gun affects (done by Young on the Synclavier), and Ralph Molina’s incessant marching beat. The song is already called “Shots,” Neil. You didn’t have to add machine gun sound effects. This isn’t audio verite. I’m not gonna post the album version here but you can find it easily. The album iteration has its fans though. Canadian blue-collar rockers The Constantines would cover “Shots” on a vinyl-only release with The Unintended, in which the Cons covered Neil Young and The Unintended covered Gordon Lightfoot. The Cons picked some weird songs, “Shots” among them, and you can tell they are referencing the Re-ac-tor version, not the superior one posted here. I’m not sure why Young slathered so many effects over the album version of “Shots.” The 80s definitely saw him taking his heavier music in an unpalatable direction. The Eldorado EP, in particular, has one of his most savage recordings ever, a song called “Heavy Love” where Young blows his voice out completely by the end of the song in an attempt to sing louder than the savage pulsing thrust of the band (the abovementioned Young & the Restless). The drummer on Eldorado was Chad Cromwell, not Steve Jordan who’d played with Young on his legendary SNL appearance where he played “Rockin in the Free World,” the definitive performance of that song, where Young tore all six strings from his guitar at its denouement. Unfortunately, SNL guards its content as jealously as a rabid guard dog, so I can’t post it. Maybe one day I’ll find a gif. I’ll leave you with two strong cuts from Eldorado. The first is “Heavy Love,” which is obviously a sister song to “Rockin In The Free World,” with its similar sonic texture and E minor riff. Listening is worth it just to hear Young’s voice go to pieces a la “Territorial Pissings” at the end (3:58 if you don’t wanna wait).

And this is the title track “Eldorado,” which ended up on Freedom. Young employs a fingerpicking style redolent of 80s megastars Dire Straits, and he sings of mission bells and senoritas and golden suns rising on runways and Mariachi bands while playing the A minor chord, a chord strongly associated with Mexican music and Mariachi styles. It’s a cool verite approach, one that works much better than the machine gun effects of “Shots,” especially when the gun violence Young has been hinting at the entire song finally explodes in a shower of distortion at 4:40. Have you ever heard something so loud compared to the backing track? I remember showing “Eldorado” to my friend/bandmate James, and I told him to prepare himself for how loud it is. Afterwards, James said, “even though I was ready for it, that scared the shit out of me.” It is so fucking loud. Check it out @ 4:40. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

One last point I’ll make...the Spanish-influenced guitar lick you can hear at 1:06 is really similar to the pre-chorus guitar riff Young plays on “War of Man” from Harvest Moon. I don’t consider stuff like that to be self plagiarism. I think it shows a consistency, but also it’s a way to reward fans for paying attention. Frank Zappa was known to do the same thing, re-introduce little musical nuances he’d recorded years or decades before. It’s cool. It’s what makes a discography live on long after the artist has burnt out or faded away. If you’re interested, here is a wonderful live early version of “Eldorado” titled “Road of Plenty” recorded with Crazy Horse in 1986: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By6_oLYfrYk

[yaz-the-spaz]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG

RULES: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours. When you are done, tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… and most importantly, have fun!

Thanks to @malik-payne-girl for tagging me! :)

FYI I’m terrible at these cause I’m way too indecisive for this shit and always end up putting multiple answers for everything and over-explaining everything because I can also be ridiculously long-winded (case in point) but I still kind of enjoy doing them anyway lol

A) Age: 23

B) Biggest fear: that I secretly annoy everyone around me and I’ll never find/fall in love (I know that’s two but whatevs, I feel like they kinda go hand in hand)

C) Current time: 7:45 pm

D) Drink you last had: tea

E) Every day starts with: the snooze button (usually at least five times)

F) Favourite song atm: just gonna list some songs I’ve been playing quite a bit on spotify lately cause i’m too indecisive to decide - issues by julia michaels, ciao adios by anne-marie, that’s what i like and chunky by bruno mars

G) Ghosts, are they real?: in a sense, yes (energy can never be destroyed and we still don’t fully understand the fourth dimension or any other dimensions for that matter so far all we know all that energy of people who’ve passed on is still there lurking around doing creepy stuff just for shits and giggles)

H) Hometown?: DC baby :)

I) In love with: zayn (ziam in general, but zayn especially), pretty much anything marvel-related, my laptop seriously I would die without it

J) Jealous of?: extroverts/confident people and people who can sing and/or dance because I can do neither and it makes me sad sometimes (also people who can play instruments b/c I’ve been trying to teach myself guitar for like 48984395802.89 years and have still gotten basically nowhere)

K) Killed Someone?: maybe...you’ll never know

L) Last time you cried: like 2 days ago when I was re-watching an old video of zayn talking about donating for red nose day/comic relief from when the boys were in africa and he started crying so I started crying

M) Middle name: aida flora (I have two because I’m special...jk i’m actually just named after both my great-grandmothers)

N) Number of siblings: 4

O) One wish: not to have to stress about money constantly or worry that I’m being too weird/look weird (again I know that’s more than one but I did warn y’all)

P) Person you last called/texted: mi madre

Q) Questions you are always being asked: why are you so quiet? (keeping that in from @malik-payne-girl because I get asked that all the time too smh); also these:

how do you pronounce your name? - it’s pronounced Yaz-meen not Jaz-min or Yaz-min (even though it’s spelled Yasmine but I go by Yaz sometimes hence the tumblr name)

why are you so short? - like wtf do I need to explain biology to you???

where are you from? - the US of A (not ethiopia or iraq or china or wherever the tf else I apparently look like I’m from and no I don’t have ancestry from any of those places either)

are you mixed? - no.

R) Reasons to smile: being (relatively) happy and healthy, spending time with family & friends, writing, reading, watching tv/movies, ziam of fucking course, music, cute animals...that’s all I can think of for now

S) Song last sung: it’s a toss-up between lego house by ed sheeran, you and I by 1D, ciao adios by anne-marie, or doing it wrong by drake...cause they were all stuck in my head earlier and i’m pretty sure I was singing all of them at some point within the last day and a half or so but I can’t remember which one was the most recent because time is an illusion and sleep is for the weak

T) Time you woke up: didn’t go to sleep (does yesterday count? cause that was probably like noon-ish or maybe 1? I have sleep issues okay don’t judge me, also ziam kept me up)

U) Underwear colour: black and white

V) Verse from a song you like: “shout out to the girls that pay their rent on time/if you ain’t here to party take your ass back home/slide with ya boy to the bar, slide with ya boy to the car” from bruno mars’ chunky; also “you can be my freaka, girl I’ll be your freako/tell me who’s the fairest, is it you, is it me, say it’s us and i’ll agree” from bruno mars’ that’s what I like; also also “you said she’s just a friend now, then why don’t we call her/used to take me out in your fancy car and make out in the rain” from anne-marie’s ciao adios (I know that’s like a million verses but like I said - indecisive af)

W) Worst habit: procrastinating, being a lazy little shit, being an antisocial little shit, being super self-conscious about literally everything

X) X-rays you’ve had: i was little so not sure how many...maybe one or two? - for my hand after i smashed my thumb in a heavy ass hotel door

Y) Your favourite food: potstickers, sushi, olives, salt & vinegar chips, chocolate chip cookie dough, and pretty much any kind of pasta

Z) Zodiac sign: leo

This took me entirely too damn long smh...

I’m never sure who to tag in these so I’m just gonna tag a couple people I know along with some mutuals: @malik-payne-girl @not-a-100-percent-dick @yo-mrknight @strawberreli @athenagray @tiarasandwanderlust @louisprotectionsquad @animeprincess310 @zaramj @agenderliam

Feel free to partake even if you haven’t been tagged! Would love to get to know some new people on here :)

[mer-birdman]

wip meme

rules of the meme: list all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. this can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.

Tagged by @starsfadingbutilingeron!! Thank you so much! :3

So I’m gonna take ‘currently working on’ to mean ‘in-progress’, even if I haven’t necessarily gotten anything done on them in a while. And since I’ve posted some art WIPs recently on @birdmanart (art blog woooo) and don’t really have much fanfic to talk about, I’m gonna share some stuff about all those original stories I occasionally reference but never work on (haha)!

Mana’s Time

So the first of the original stories I have here is Mana’s Time (well, that’s the series name, I’m just gonna call it Mana), which is intended to be a five-book series but whoops I’ve only written the first chapter of book 1. (If you think that’s crazy, the first version that I started in 6th grade was planned for NINE books — yikes!)

It’s sort of portal fantasy genre, with the main protagonist (Issa McMayvern) being transported to a sort of high-fantasy ‘sister universe’ to Earth (also known as ‘Gaia’). While in this sister universe, known as ‘Mana’ (hey, title drop), she begins to discover latent magic abilities (i’m not creative okay) and how to use them, in the efforts to first find her way home and then later to help protect both Gaia and Mana from the invading forces of a demirealm that resides between them known as Ouros. 

Six of the eight or nine main characters (Issa, her human friends Elle and Ari, and their elven buddies Skiare, Vadyn, and Orran) are from the very first version, but everything else is pretty much new. When I first kind of wanted to write these, I was mainly inspired by the Avalon: Web of Magic series by Rachel Roberts (I was in 6th grade, okay? And they had really pretty illustrations), but I’ve been trying to branch away from that as I re-conceptualize the setting and plot. (Additionally, the portal between worlds is located in an empty lot overgrown with grass, because when I was younger I would pretend that those lots were actually portals to other worlds).

Wavelength

This one (started in 7th grade, and I haven’t even started the re-write yet, boo) was intended to be a trilogy. The entire concept is based around the idea of sort of sci-fi magic; the ability to ‘bend’ or manipulate different forms of energy and waves, so to speak.  I don’t have a lot of the plot planned out — just the barest sense — but it’s sort of similar to Avatar: The Last Airbender in that one of the biggest arcs is the two main characters (Piper and James) having to travel around while on the run in search of people who can teach them the different sorts of waves they need to learn (three each, so they make a complete set together). 

There’s definitely going to be secret organizations and probably some cool spy stuff, though I’m not sure whether I want it to be more steampunk-y or really full-on sci-fi technology. I’ll need to give it a real re-working sometime soon, haha!

Chronicle of the Watchers

Also intended to be a series or trilogy, I don’t actually have any structure for CotW planned, and yet it’s actually one of the more conceptualized plots in that I actually have some idea of the story arc for the first book (Runespeaker). I started it in 9th grade, and actually got about four chapters written of the first draft before I really decided to shift a bunch of things around, so I haven’t started the next iteration yet.

It takes place in a sort of D&D-esque fantasy realm, in that it’s medieval in some ways and advanced/socially aware in others (there’s public education and fair treatment of trans people, for instance). The story starts in the village of Aullkee, in the land of Rennin, where the main character Alexa and her two friends Mirian and Balthazar are preparing to finish their final year of schooling. A mysterious organization arrives to administer a test, and those who pass (Alexa, Mirian, and Balthazar, as well as their two classmates Aileeda and Dannin) are taken from their homes in the night and brought to the organization’s headquarters to be told that they are now initiates of the Watchers.

What is eventually discovered beyond what I’ve written is that the Watchers are an organization that spans multiple countries (Rennin, Sireani, Castrael, Jueresc, and Merren are the ones I’ve determined so far) and is dedicated to protecting magical and endangered creatures, with the most primary being dragons. There’s a whole mess of plot stuff that I haven’t quite untangled yet, but basically there is a being hunting down dragons for some reason and the not-quite-big-bad (who’s also Alexa’s mum, small world) is acting under that being’s commands, which isn’t discovered until later in the story.

I have a lot of small plotbunnies hopping around for this one, so feel especially free to ask questions about it!

Natural 20

This one (also maybe sort of intended to be a trilogy, apparently I have a habit) was conceptualized/started around NaNoWriMo 2016, but I didn’t get even a full chapter in because school, haha. 

It’s another portal fantasy design, but this one is basically where a group of friends are starting a D&D campaign, and somehow find themselves pulled into the campaign in the bodies of their characters, and have to now complete the quest they were on in order to find a way back home. The deeper they go, though, the more they discover that it wasn’t an accident, and there’s a much darker plot brewing behind the scenes. (additionally, the main character figures out that he’s trans, and there’s just some fun stuff all-around).

It’s an idea I’ve actually had for a while, but only started doing something with pretty recently.

Other Stories???

Court of Stars — sci-fi fantasy political intrigue in space with a badass nonbinary main character. Intended to deal with social issues and morality and fun stuff if I ever start writing it.

Heatless (trilogy) — the obligatory modern vampire story, but I’m trying to include more supernatural elements and hopefully make it a little less cliche with each new development. Basically, MC discovers that her best friend is a vampire, and then everything goes to shit and apparently all her friends are weird supernatural creatures??? There’s a lot of work to be done :P

The Zookeeper — somewhat dystopia fantasy set in a world where the only wild animals left are in ‘zoos’ and private estates, and trees can only be found in arboretums and libraries. The main character Cinna is enlisted to join an organization (I appear to be a fan of those) working for the proper treatment and freedom of animals. There’s gonna be some fun species hierarchy issues (humans, as they don’t have any special adaptations compared to some of the other ‘sentient’ beings, are kinda the bottom of the food chain), interesting settings, and one of the other main characters is selectively mute and nonbinary and ADORABLE (sorry, my opinion). Somehow, whenever I try to conceptualize the setting, I end up thinking of the abcities in Un Lun Dun (China Mieville) and the city Fork in Isobelle Carmody’s Gateway trilogy.

That’s all for now! :) I’m not gonna tag people, but feel free to pretend you were if you too want to blab about stuff in progress! ^^

[lewiselder]

lewis vs kids

like the world’s foremost degenerative gambler once said, “i’m back.” but enough about michael jordan. holy shit. it’s been almost a year since my last post. the thing is, nothing arm-related has happened to me in that time. 

HAHAHAHA *laughing trails off* 

i’m playing. i’ve just been slacking. how have you guys been? i hope you’ve been good! or, well, i hope at least medium. 

man, a lot has happened in the in-between. i have a different job. i’m still in austin but moving in a couple weeks. i’ve bought shoes. i’ve sold shoes. i’ve started eating oranges. a lot has also stayed the same. i still don’t own a pair of jeans. i’m still not wearing no fucking button up shirts. still doing anxiety ridden push ups at 3am. still laying in bed every night googling pictures of doughnuts. such is life. 

there are a bunch of stories i still need/want to tell you. i keep a rolling tab in my phone and we’ve knocked out 4 of 19. today we’re going to ease back into things with 2 short stories with one overlapping theme: kids. did my title give it away?

kids! everybody fuckin loves kids. kids kids kids. so nice! so sweet! so pure! may god in his all knowing, arm designing wisdom bless the youths. 

i like kids. 

however. 

kids don’t have filters. this is one of the reasons you cornballs love them. this is one of the reasons i’m still a little more on the fence. obvious physical disfigurements and young, full of wonder children are a volatile mix.  we’re going to do 2 real quick stories, one from the past and one from the present, to demonstrate. let’s get weird.

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#1 - AHHHHHHH!

my junior year of college i pledged Phi Beta Sigma. part of the, uh, joining process (Phi Beta Sigma is a non-hazing organization) was volunteering at the local Boys and Girls club where an older Sigma brother worked as a director (shout out Josh!). face value, this is a pretty sweet deal. volunteering is good, kids are cool, and this was certainly a welcomed reprieve from the rest of the joining process.  

however. (this the same however from before ^ good dude, but moves around a lot)

like i may have mentioned, i have a disfigured left arm. me and my disfigured left arm (and my 4 line brothers) took the bus out to the Boys and Girls club for our first session. mind you, this is wisconsin in like, february, so we’re all in multiple layers of coats and hoodies and all that shit. 

so, we get there, meet up with Josh, get shown around, meet some kids, yadda yadda. now, at this point we’re starting to step into a very nuanced part of my life. one of the reasons i don’t like wearing layers of clothing, or jackets, or button ups, is because i’m not a goofy cornball, but also because long sleeves often mean my left arm is covered and more or less camouflaged. this means i enter some place and the other humans in that place see me and process my existence as one thing. then, i have to go through the fucking shit awful experience of removing the camouflage and re-presenting myself as far from that original thing. people’s responses vary from really shocked to really fucking shocked (they don’t vary). this sucks 1000% of the time. actually one of my biggest arm stories is about this exactly. we’ll get there another day. 

ANYWAY, we start hanging out with some of the kids to get to know them. eventually i get hot (shout out all my fellow thicc n sweaty folx). i make the decision to remove my camouflage. i take my jacket off and almost immediately this young boy, probably around like idk 10?, we were playing ping pong with let’s out a shout.

AHHHHHHH!

him: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR ARM? 

me: ahhhhh yeahhhhh it’s a birth defect man. i was born with it

him: (again) AHHHHHHH! 

me: hmmmmm

him: AHHHHHHH! YO PUT IT AWAY

me: this is fun

him: OH MY GOD YO PUT IT AWAY PLEEEEEASE PUT IT AWAY PUTITAWAYPLEASEPUTITAWAY

me: well shit

i tried to talk with dude but he was pretty out of pocket and was not listening. i eventually just put my jacket back on. i did not go back for the next volunteering session lol. 

#2 - Shhhh, Katy STOP

this one’s from a few weeks ago. it’s a lot less outrageous than the previous story, but it will bring up an interesting point.  

i was at a coffee shop near my crib on a saturday afternoon. this is april in austin, tx (the kissing dogs in the mouth capital of america) so no jacket camouflage for lewis. 

i’m sitting next to a mom and her daughter. the daughter quickly notices that i’m wearing very rare raging bull 5s. she asks me how much i got them for. i tell her $260 shipped in vnds condition! she says no fucking way dude great pick up. we do a mid-air high five while throw some d’s blasts in the background, shout out rich boy. always shout out rich boy.

the end!

ok. maybe that’s not exactly what happened. 

maybe she noticed my arm and backed away. maybe she started whispering to her mom. maybe i heard her say, 

“what’s wrong with his arm??? does it hurt??? do you think he’s mad???” 

i remember the mad one made me lol. i’m more mad that every day people choose to wear birkenstocks but yeah, 6 of one, half dozen of the other. 

her mom, more conscious of the fact they were 30 inches from the man they were talking about than the daughter was, was beginning to hit a state of suppressed panic. i couldn’t hear all of what they were saying, but the mom was desperately trying to get her to be quiet. eventually culminating with a louder than intended, 

“Shhhh, Katy STOP.”

Katy did indeed stop. the mom took a big sigh of relief and a big gulp of coffee. I stared straight ahead thinking about how $260 shipped for raging bull 5s is a fucking lick. a. fucking. lick.

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And that’s it. Important to note that I wasn’t mad at the kids in either story. They’re kids. My arm looks a lot different than theirs do. I get that. I wasn’t thrilled with the first dude, but ah, what are you gonna do. I’ve spent most of my life coping (whether through jokes, fighting, writing, whatever) with the othering that comes with being disfigured/disabled. 

I think what I want to end this post on is the question of how do you teach your kids to treat people with disfigurements or disabilities. Seriously, how the fuck. I’m actually asking because I’m really not sure. I’ve seen parents encourage their kids to come right up to me and ask. That’s like, ok, but also pretty presumptuous and kind of bogus. What if I don’t want to talk to you or your sticky handed kid. I (or anyone) should have the right to not be bothered just because you’re curious. I’ve seen parents tell their kids to shut all the way the fuck up. This is fine too. Tbh, I kind of appreciate those parents. Tho, is that just shutting down what could be a developmental moment? I don’t know. 

I will tell you that I don’t miss being a kid. I’ll never connect with people who long for the days of their childhood. Being disfigured as a kid is fucking hard. Like, really fucking hard. I have the marks on my hands (and probably the deep-seeded emotional trauma) to prove it. Like an ex-gf’s mom once said to me when meeting her for the first time (she was a physical therapist and somehow noticed this upon shaking hands), “oh you’ve broken a few of your knuckles before, huh?” Life is much better as an adult. 

I don’t plan on having kids, but if I did, how would I teach them to treat disabled people? And at what point would they realize their father is different? Will it be when some kids at school start giving them shit about their father with the little arm? Then my burden has become theirs through no fault of their own. 

Idk. I don’t have the answers, Sway (2014 was fun, wasn’t it?). Just tell your kids, your little cousins, your friends and family, not to be dicks. I know that’s reductive, but yeah idk man just don’t fucking suck. And try your best to make others around you suck less, too. 

Life is weird and stressful but it has doughnuts and cool grey 11s so i think it mostly evens out. Talk to ya’ll soon. Shout out Rich Boy.

*1 free donut if u read this far*

[blogsbybranden-blog]

1st week in Florence

Hey yall! So it’s been awhile since i’ve updated this blog. This past week and half has been hella busy and crazy. I’ve also still been recording and have to edit the vlog but i’ll try to release it sometime sunday or tbh i might just do this tuesday but we’ll see. Anyways, each day has been such a crazy adventure so i’ll just give a somewhat day to day summary or at least what i remember, honestly this week has been a blur lol

Day 1- I flew in to Amsterdam and got delayed so i missed my connecting flight but i was able to catch a plane to rome and then florence so it wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me. I got to Florence and was awestruck by all the beauty that i saw that evening. I went in to meet my suitemates and it was super dope. Matthew opens the door and is super welcoming and i’m already like “oh shit i totally fuck with this guy.” He was super welcoming and nice to me, I then proceed to move into my room and meet my roommate Zach, some of yall have probably seen many snaps of us. We had that instant connection and it’s been such a blessing to live with a roommate who’s clean, super chill, and very nice. I meet the rest of my suitemates, Carter, Navjit, and Sasha and they’re all pretty chill as well. After settling in i unpacked and passed the fuck out.

Day 2- So this is the first day I actually got to walk around Firenze and get to know the culture of Italy. I first went to a longass orientation and it was pretty much like welcome week all over again, a little boring but def necessary. Later I took a tour with NYU and it was pretty cool to get some historical background on many buildings and artwork. I met some really cool people on the tour and we got lunch and that was my first meal, pumpkin risotto and some white wine and i was like “holy shit this is so good! bless up” I then went around just walking around the city. Then i passed out at like 10pm, honestly orientation week drains me so much.

Day 3- Second day and it def ended v bizarrely...any one from Florence will know what im exactly talking about lol. I woke up and went on another tour towards the river in Firenze and it was so beautiful, it was such a beautiful sunny day. I got lunch with some people on that tour as well and it was hella good, but i forgot what i ate. Later we had a mandatory movie screening and we watched Tale of Tales. If you ever want to be scarred and appalled but also slightly amazed, watch this movie. Tbh the only reason i feel like NYU made us watch this was to all be connected through the horror that we saw LOL. I went to a food market after and met another group of pretty dope as people and got some weird italian burger but it was actually amazing, the black truffle, the weird potato puree type thing, and some other white sauce made it so unique. Like italians can do burgers better than americans LOL I later went home that night and passed out again at like 11.

Day 4- Third day and we take another tour, honestly i love tours so much lol. Later we go to campus for the first time and have orientation and they had a bunch of seminars and a bombass lunch. I learned a lot about Italian culture from a staff member who’s from here and i was so shocked yet also very interested at some of the ways to conduct oneself. Italians love eating 5 course meals for dinner and a v light breakfast, i learned about proper eating culture (apparently you can’t eat bread as an appetizer it’s more a side dish, and you cant’t get a cappuccino after 11am), and many other things. I had lunch with some people i met in line and they were really cool as well. We then went to get our SIM cards and then went home. I was gon go out that night but then Zach (my roommate) is like “yo wanna watch nature docs?” and at the time i wasn’t too interested but i decided to give it a chance. Fucking. Amazing. I hate to be all “philosophical” but watching that makes you appreciate earth so much more and i really recommend watching Planet Earth on netflix. Then i passed out.

Day 5- It’s now Saturday and i chill for most of the day and then i go to yet again another tour. I get dinner with some friends and then head back to home. I eventually go out for the first time to a bar and club. The bar was alright it wasn’t what i imagined tbh but the cocktails were mad good. The club was a litlle boring tbh maybe cause i didn’t particularly enjoy the choice of song but i got drunk enough and then i enjoyed it LOL. Honestly raving is much better for me so idk if i’ll be going out to clubs as much anymore but who knows. I come home at like 4am and pass the fuck out.

Day 6- Honestly I don’t really remember too much what i did Sunday I just chilled for the most part and then did some italian hw. 

I won’t go too much into my school week since i’ll save that for another blog post. Overall this week has been so overwhelmingly awesome. I met so many fantastic people, ate tooo much for my own good, and def drank way more wine in one week then i did my whole life LOL. This week felt like welcome week all over again minus the tours. I was so awestruck by NY (as i am currently), the different culture, food, and being so free was all re-experienced here as well, as well as the confusion and bit of boredom here and there (more so during free time). Nonetheless I feel already very close to a good group of people here and have met many other people as well and have enjoyed being in class with them and getting lunch with many people. I honestly did feel like i was a bit too excited to make friends but whatever, hopefully it didn’t seem to obvious. Not going to lie though it’s been a bit weird not communicating with people from back home and CA very often but i try to make time here and there. Once i settle down hopefully i can skype more people soon. But living in a foreign country and not being able to communicate with the locals is def the hardest part but i’m slowly adjusting. Not so much a lesson on this post (like i said idk what i still want to do with this blog) but more so just an update on my life. Thank you to those who’ve read this far! I hope you all have a great start to the semester and I hope yall keep up todate with my blog. Have a good rest of your day or start to your day and a safe weekend! :D