#and the brainworms ATE MY BRAIN

[princesaltines]

"Did you... Did you just hiccup?" .... "I'll take that as a compliment"

[moonrvsh]

hange on the brain…💫

no effects version !

[rikodabirb]

An au in an au where my friends and I each made one of our OCs into a sith. Dalma came as a random thoughts but the brainworm ate up my brain. (Something something characters who wouldn't hurt a fly turning into someone ruthless and evil bcus of circumstances)

The lightsabers might be a giveaway but Dalma is an inquisitor in this au.

Some sketches and a wip under the cut. (Also friends' sith au characters)

These are lil reactions to mesintosz's drawings, with her character Henrik(as sith).

And a wip that i plan to finish someday(hopefully)

Dalma probably met Emma after a while, Henrik (mesintosz's oc) and Rochelle ( @kitochiart 's oc) try to make the reunion easier for her. They have great relationship advice <3

[miks-fantrolls]

hi :3 soooooo which character(s) do you have the most muse/thoughts for and what do you like writing abt them the most?

THATS A GOOD QUESTION! i havent had a lot of time to think abt my characters in a while (´ー｀)

HOWEVER.

i think i end up having a muse for brusli, antemh, or dadevu most of the time. brusli and dadevu more for actual writing, whereas antemh has always just kind of been. a brainworm. hes just kind of always there.

i can see a lot of myself in brusli, antemh, and dadevu. there's a lot of coping mechanisms that have gone into them.

in hindsight, writing antemh was a huge coping mechanism for me growing up (made him ~2013? maybe even 2012), but as ive gotten older and left the environment i was in, hes kind of just turned into a silly lil guy for me. i guess maybe he's still somewhat a reflection of me even now--a guy who, despite having every reason to be bitter and miserable, still persists and stays silly.

to answer the second question, that's what my favorite part of writing him is. i think most people would assume he's pretty much a comic relief character, which wouldnt be wrong, but its easy to see happy-go-lucky characters and assume theyre more two-dimensional than characters who wear their troubles on their sleeve.

this also kind of (realizing as i write) reflects my own experience with being autistic. theres an unintentional assumption on others' parts where they assume, because i'm playful and choose to put on a happy face, that those are my only qualities. it's kind of hard to articulate to non-autistic people, so it's more IYKYK. a common complaint from adult autistic ppl though is we have a hard time getting people to take/treat us seriously like the adults we are, or at least treat us like our age.

brusli has a little bit of my middle school self in her. she's a bit more of a tomboy and she likes girls (which is more of a defining trait in an AU human brusli than troll brusli). a large amount of my brain power is dedicated to brusli/sarlla (sarlla belonging to @beantrolls) ship content because im obsessed w/ their relationship. i'm not sure why, but if i generally had to describe the nature of their relationship (again, this is moreso human au-specific, but there's elements of it in their troll relationship), it's sort of a trans&lesbian inversion of the manic pixie dream girl trope.

what i like about writing brusli is the emotions. when i'm emotionally struggling, she and antemh are usually the characters i turn to, depending on the mood. brusli is a little more visibly Sadgirl on this blog than she is in the comic, mostly because i kind of have her on that Tumblr Truth Serum here, where its assumed that an asker already has a somewhat established relationship with her. otherwise, she would kind of be boring to roleplay here, because canonly, she's alienated herself from most people and doesnt socialize much

*I ANSWERED THIS FOREVER AGO THEN TRIED TO SAVE IT AS A DRAFT AND TUMBLR ATE IT. BUT NOW ITS BACK. GOD DAMN. i think i was gonna say something about dadevu but its been forever so idk anyumore.

[variantoutcast]

Get to know the blogger game!

I was tagged by: @dinluke 💙 [blue heart emoji]

• Share your wallpaper:

My redflag is that my laptop always has the default and I haven't set my phone background since I got a new one last year

• Last song you listened to:

"bad reputation" by Joan Jett. @psionicowl has a CD and that was playing last time we were in the car together <3

• Currently reading:

"Devotions" by Mary Oliver! It's the first time I've read a poetry book before, and several months later I'm 90% of the way through it! I like most of her stuff I've read so far. I also finished "Time is the Simplest Thing" by Clifford Simak, which I really loved! It's a sci fi novel published in the 60's. I'm going to start "Borne" by Jeff VanderMeer. I like most of his other stuff I've read so far, so I'm looking forward to cracking it open.

• Last movie:

"Logan" (2017), which was a few months ago. I really prefer TV shows to movies most of the time. Logan is one of my favorite movies though

• Last show:

The last show I finished was "Shadow and Bone", and I'm currently (re)watching "Better Call Saul" (with an odd "House M.D." or "Psych" episode thrown in here and there)

• Craving:

Human companionship 😭[crying emoji]. Also artisan mills farmhouse cheddar crackers [link]

• What are you wearing:

A dark green short sleeve tshirt and brick red sweat shorts, and wristwatch (digital, black, and definitely not smart)

• How tall are you?

5 feet 8 inches

• Piercings:

I have an eyebrow piericing and an industrial piercing! I'd love to get my lobes pierced (again...) and maybe a second eyebrow piercing!

• Tattoos

I have the solar system across my left collar bone and a blackwork cloud with lightning coming out of it, and an eye through the center (almost an exact, just slightly cleaned up reproduction of a sketch I did!) On my left shoulder. I want to get a sleeve on that arm of cryptids and vines, and I'd love to tattoo my scalp some day with vines.

• Glasses/contacts:

I can only see 4 inches from my face without glasses, so I wear mine constantly! Sometimes I will get contacts during the summer to make outdoorsy activities easier

• Last thing you ate:

Those goodie girl thin mint knock offs [link]

• Favorite color:

Navy blue is my favorite, but I also love brick red, dark green, and yellow!

• Current obsession:

Having a sewing kick! Media wise I'm coming off "Shadow and Bone" lockdown and reigniting "Better Call Saul" brain. I have some lingering "Severance" and "Andor" brainworms too. "The Mandalorian" has been so disappointing lately that I barely care about it all.

• Pets:

I have a halloween moon crab named Candy Corn and an asian spiny toad named Breaker

• Favorite fictional character:

Fuck. Evil question. Castiel from "Supernatural" and Ahsoka from "Star Wars" probably

• Last place you traveled:

To work 😭[crying emoji]

No pressure tags!

@stormikins @butchghostbird @vampgf @meshla @rogueninja @tamayokny @dykefagz

[unbloomingmoonflower]

get to ~know me~

Tagged by: @starscytheskies

Current wallpaper: Atem. Just because.

The last song you listened to: Somewhere I Belong cover by Halocene, David Michael Frank, and Lauren Babic

Currently Reading: Webtoons.

Last Movie: Coco

Craving: Financial security. And a burger.

What are you wearing right now: Pajamas and glasses.

How tall are you: 5'1

Piercings: Pierced upper ear. Had it in both but one got knocked out by my hair stylist.

Tattoos: Two. A cherry blossom branch on my chest and the seal of Lilith on my arm.

Glasses? Contacts?: Expired AF glasses bc I can't afford insurance.

Last drink: milk

Last show: Law and Order: SVU

Last thing you ate: steamed dumplings

Favourite colour: black

Current obsession: my hyperfixation on my Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction. LET ME BE FREE, BRAINWORMS.

Unrelated Obsession: None.

Any pets: Nope

Do you have a crush on anyone: That's a secret.

Favourite fictional character: I HAVE MANY.

Open tag bc my brain be wonky.

[riftwalker-limbro]

god i think i'm gonna write (my version of) the new strange tonight after i finish my uni work - there are simply too many brainworms going on at once. this is untenable.

i'm gonna let them out a little here i think.

fair warning, after writing out what i wanted to, it includes spoilers for the whole outline i've got so far. and they're extensive. but if you, like me, believe in the enjoyment of the story regardless of if you know the outcome or not, feel free to go read

so imo ordis is a bit prone to hero-worship, right? he hears about simaris being this great, knowledge-driven guy, and he goes full heart eyes immediately.

in my opinion the same happens with the operator - ordis is obviously told "this is the operator. you love them" and he takes this assignment incredibly seriously. the operator is perfect, of course the operator would want a perfect cephalon as well (and the canon operator never does contradict him, do they?) to serve them, and the operator is so very powerful, so very strong.

i'm gonna show my cards here, so perhaps someone reading this might see what i'm trying to do and get as excited about it as i am (get inflicted with my brainworms *throws a handful at you*)

the "outline" i've been talking about is structured in five chapters, what you'll also see in my writing masterpost as i fill it out more - and the chapters are very deliberately/explicitly structured/paced to represent stages in the ordis&operator friendship

Awakening: will be finished up with the new strange - setting up the basic things, the scene, for the rest of the everything. things are as close to canon as they'll ever be, here.

Resurfacing: starts off with the second dream, which will fuck up (edit: tumblr ate everything after this point in this bulletpoint so i'm going to rewrite it) -which will fuck up the way that kelth has been existing so far by splitting up their consciousness from excalibur, to whom they've been melded so far, actually. i've been trying to write kelth/calibur in Awakening as kind of having two minds in one, except Kelth is the main one and excalibur provides some supporting characteristics - kelth is the main brain, the main initiative, behind everything, and excalibur brings the methodicality to get everything done, the calmness in the storm. he's the kid who grew up in a dojo stereotype

Disillusionment: the illusion of the friendship honeymoon period starts to shatter. ordis realizes that the operator is not infallible - far from, actually (i'm thinking kelth has the initiative to get things going, but excalibur previously contributed the focus to see them through. he's still there and helps however he can, obv, but kelth's not in active transference with him all the time) because they're not quite... as brave as they were before they remembered everything, and realized the scope of their sitaution in more detail. the other direction of the "honeymoon period" is also broken - kelth starts discovering ordis' fragments. basically, at the end of this chapter, everyone should be a fucking mess.

Mending: this is the chapter where the initial idea happened - ordis & kelth do the limbo theorem quest (see the name of this whole damn blog lmao.) and there are so many angsty feelingsy notes on this bulletpoint god i am looking forward to this. limbo's personality is already 70% ish worked out and i- god i can't fucking wait. what else what else - ah right, so yesterday i published the bit where operator-excalibur get a "strange pang" in their chest at ordis mentioning machine code? that's because kelth used to program little things on the zariman, mostly for entertainment! (i'm a software engineer and i love coding shit. i will inflict my hobby upon all of you) and so with this newly rediscovered knowledge kelth starts coding things to help them navigate the origin system etc (i have a stupidly elaborate warframe progress spread sheet. instead of writing a program to manage it like i've wanted to for months i'm writing about writing a program to manage it. help) and it speeds up collecting ordis' fragments a shit ton, and by the end of this chapter they should be all complete again - with, uh. consequences.

Bond: the final chapter lmao. and also pretty much the second seriously invasive brainworm i had about this whole universe. kelth asks about ordis' code, because See Glitches, and through some iteration (code versions, developing friendships, everything is getting iterated) they eventually discover some old code, that, when re-enabled, allow ordis to do transference with warframes as well. (i did post about this earlier!!!! ordis is at least as traumatized as everyone else on this fuckin ship!!!! he should get to join!!) (also it's old code that was hastily implemented at the start of the Old War by some orokin programmers, to figure out if they could use Cephalons to pilot the hella dangerous warframes, but it was all disabled and the project abandoned when they repurposed the zariman children for this purpose instead) (bonus info: my notes literally say "But then Excalibur emerges, with Ordis inside, who is barely QWOP’ing his way out of the fancy closet" and please just visualize that) and this is where so much fluff is gonna happen i've barely been able to think about it so far. they find rhino's blueprints in some corpus locked. they rebuild him. they put prime shit on most warframes. there's so many feelings.

god okay yeah i've tamed my brainworms. i'm gonna go back to work. i can't wait to get to the last one. it's gonna be so fucking juicy. haugh.

and, just as a note - i'm doing this for fun, i'm not looking for any kind of criticism, including constructive. my writing generally is super self-indulgent on the fluff and angst ends, and i'm very solidly & openly on the ace spectrum so do not expect romance. if reading this made you feel any feelings (that are not criticisms) i will love to hear about them in my ask box. come yell at me - about my shit, about your shit, anything. >:)

[chicago-geniza]

disordered eating cw

forgot to refill one of my four (4) gastroparesis meds on schedule so i was out for 2 or 3 days & had such bad reflux/nausea/regurg & vomiting i barely slept, let alone ate, & the one time i *did* eat more than a few bites, the resulting refractory acid reflux triggered an asthma attack. tl;dr meds refilled, cautious improvement, but still none appetite with left hydrochloric acid surging up my esophagus & most obnoxiously 2 days of 2019-esque Stomach Symptoms was sufficient to fully re-engage ED Brainworms. like i can't. go to the grocery store. i am locked in a battle of wills & being held hostage by the ghost of 2019 raya who felt like this every day & almost starved to death because eating made them so sick. tl;dr we are back to spending too much money on delivery so we can doordash squash soup & a few smoothies & a couple of basic pre-made 1 Meat 1 Veg 1 Grain No Sauce Nothing Touching Everything Is Uniform Size Shape & Texture meals off the cafe kids menu to pacify the terrified toddler in our heads & also trick them into consuming Nutrience. why does my brain go from zero to Minnesota Starvation Experiment Mode in 24 hours. i do have an official diagnosis of "medical / health-related ptsd" but i prefer to think of it as an endlessly iterating escher drawing of collapsed cartesian dualism called "pounded in the butt by my own butt" (body attacks itself brain experiences trauma, i.e., body keeps the score of itself kicking its own ass)

[lordarsonizzzzt]

(Tw for blood and mild body horror..? Idk if I need to do tws or not)

A week or two later, Clef walks into Malmo’s office with a covered dish.

“Dr. Alto Clef!” Malmo greeted, smiling nervously, “I do hope this interaction won’t involve that shotgun of yours!”

“It won’t,” he deadpanned. He set the dish down. He lifted it, and underneath was a platter of food. Malmo wiped drool from their mouth, looking at him.

“What’s the meaning of this? You know I love a good meal—“

“Yeah. I do. Which is why, in exchange for this, you’re going to tell me how you knew that 166 is my daughter. I know Kathy didn’t tell you,” he drawled.

They paused, took a bite, then moaned at the taste.

“Fuck it, this is good enough for that info.”

Clef leaned over the desk, hat low over his eyes.

“How did you know I had a daughter,” he growled. They shrugged.

“You’re bugged.”

Clef scoffed.

“Nah. I would know if there was a mic on me.”

“All of those things are wrong,” they said, taking a large bite of their food. They swallowed, then shuddered all over.

Clef furrowed his brows.

“So there isn’t a mic on me.”

“Nope, and nope.”

“…what do you mean ‘and nope?’”

They tilted their head.

“There isn’t a mic, and it’s not on you.”

Clef’s hand twitched, wanting to reach for his shotgun. Malmo sighed.

“Okay, how freaked out are you going to get? Because this food fucking smacks, and I don’t want to have to consume all that you are. Especially— oh, you and Konny are so cute together, by the way! When are you two going to go public with that?”

“Back on topic,” he said, flushed. Malmo nodded.

“So, uh. How freaked out will you be?”

“I’m already a bit freaked out, so if you would cut the shit-“

“Speaking of that! I’ll need to uh, make a small incision—“

Clef pulled a knife from his crocs and drove the blade into the desk.

“There.”

Malmo awkwardly pulled the knife out of the table. They took Clef’s arm, and made a little cut.

“It’ll take a little bit,” they said awkwardly, “so while we wait, why don’t we do some deep breathing exercises to keep our tempers under control?”

Clef’s eye twitched.

“Believe me, my temper is— fuck!”

Malmo looked sheepish, nibbling at the plate of food. Clef ground his teeth in pain.

“What is this!?!”

“Just… Deep breaths. It should be at your shoulder by now? Ah! There’s the boy!”

Clef grunted with pain. A thick lump moved his arm, under the skin.

“What the fuck,” he gasped, “what the fuck.”

A fat white worm crawled from his wound. Malmo scooped it up with a bite of food, and ate it.

“See,” they said, “I told you you were bugged.”

Clef let out a hysterical little laugh.

“What the fuck?”

“I’m… Mostly worms.”

“You’re not Dr. Malmo, are you?”

Malmo chuckled.

“Just the skin. And lungs. And brain. And some nerves but it’s… hard to tell at times, you know? I’m glad you’re taking this so well!”

Clef raised his shotgun.

“Hey, put that down! Or-“ Malmo paused, “or I’ll start saying really mean things! About you! And your relationships with people!”

Clef put down the shotgun. Malmo smiled.

“That worm was positively gorged on serotonin and oxytocin, by the way. Konny must really make you happy, oh, that’s so adorable!”

Clef stared at his arm, teeth grit.

“Yeah. Fuckin peachy.”

“We should do lunch more often! Like, make it a thing!”

-Brainworms anon

Clef now feels like he has worms on his arms every time he remembers this and he feels disgusted gearjihjg

[mcl-pauly]

Fondly remembering the time i got moonlight lovers brainworm

[trashcatsnark]

I love that Johnny is the kind of person who would kill for you no problem and fuck you untill you can't walk, but stuff like holding hands or saying geniuine compliments just cause him to short-circuit and he just can't do this. I think it's an interesting part of his psychology, that he's all about grand gestures (kill for you/die for you) and physical intimacy (sex and whatnot) but he's still very closed off and unwilling to engage with just like, small acts of affection that can't be easily brushed off. And, of course, he thinks he's being sooo slick and nobody can see how much of a fool he is around V, like, he's such a clown, I love that about him.

YESS YESSSS YESSSSSS SPOILERS WITHIN, I WENT ON ANOTHER RANT IM SORRY

I read a fic I believe it’s called 505 on archiveofourown, which in general, has had a lot of ideas and concepts I love and has birthed inspiration to some of my own brainworms (the idea of V getting stuck in like 2010-2012 in a like manufactured cyber pocket universe lives rent free in my brain and i really wanna play with that concept in my fic too cause i needed more flashback content,  and like wanted V to properly have some sort of interaction with the past versions of Rogue, Alt, Kerry, and Johnny, like it’s so good and i highly recommend checking the fic out, yeet!) 

And they state that Johnny’s basically the kind of guy who if you called him up, its life or death, he’d be there for you in a second. But, if you just texted to ask how his day is, he’d leave you on seen. He tends to think, act, and operate in extremes. Everything is always cranked up to eleven and high stakes; filled with passion for everything he goes near. Cause those moments revolve more around doing, acting on something, rushing in; whether its attacking Arasaka or fucking, its all about doing something and he doesn’t really have to put his emotions or his heart out there. He feels intensely, extremely, passionately, but he can’t properly articulate that when it comes to people on an individual level. He can scream until the cows come home about his ideas about society and the people on a grand scale, on the big picture, but when it comes to individuals and his intimate relationships the action should be enough, to him, should say everything. He can hide behind the extremes, act on his feelings without having to truly bare his soul. There’s a comfort in that, he can act on his feelings while still keeping his distance. 

But, that’s harder with domesticity, its harder with everyday intimate affection, its harder with someone who knows you inside and out. Because he’s now committed to not only being there in the extremes, he’s there for the mundane and monotony. He’s not just there for hard fucks and terrorists attacks; he’s there for V casually (though they’re also screaming inside) grabbing his hand as they walk somewhere together, he’s there for mornings that start with a kiss and a cup of coffee, he’s there for cleaning the apartment, taking care of a cat, cuddling on a couch while watching bad tv, trying to help V cook (once they get an apartment with a kitchen cause why the fuck doesn’t v have a kitchen cdpr), there for conversations that have nothing to do with life or death, and casual i love you’s being dropped because that word is no longer an emotional bomb, but a simple reality. 

No walls, no barriers, no fucking off until the next time someone needs him to die or kill for them/fuck them. Emotional intimacy becoming a part of daily life. And oh boy is that a fucking scary ass concept. 

Cause being there and sacrificing himself when V could potentially die, feels like a no brainer, of course he’ll do that, that’s what he promised, what’s right by them, and he’d die for them any day. If that’s what they need that is what he’ll do. And he’ll say so to anyone who asks, proudly. Cause he can to an extent hide behind it being the right thing to do, its the right thing to honor his promise, to try to save them from this unfairness, even after mikoshi he can explain it away as he owes V his life, he can hide behind his own moral code. Brush it off as being “right”. In Mikoshi when he tells V he plans to keep his promise; there’s no introspection of the emotional intimacy they built, he’s still trying to keep some walls up. Its’ “we’re sticking to the plan” “I won’t do you wrong.” He can hide and frame it as a promise, what’s right, which is a huge aspect of it no doubt, but we know he has feelings beyond that. His own guilt, he own care and concern for V, hell, there’s apparently even a line where it seems he gets mad at Alt, like genuinely mad that they can’t save V. 

“You promised this poor little shit a new life and you lied! You fuckin' lied!”

It was about more than a sense of duty and keeping his promise, but he can hide behind that. (And with just sex, he can hide behind sexual gratification, paint it as selfish desire)

But holding V’s hair back or rubbing their back when they’re sick and puking; not relic sick, not dying sick, just neurovirus/ate something that disagreed with them/or drank a bit too much, regular sick...is different. Because V doesn’t objectively need him in that moment; they will survive without his hands in their hair or rubbing down their back, They will survive without him checking on them and once they get it all out, carrying them to bed. There’s no right or wrong even, cause its no one elses job to care for V. 

It is a choice born purely out of an unselfish desire to make them feel better, to care for them even in the mundane troubles of life. And he can’t, though he’d try, pretend that it’s anything else. It puts his feelings on the table, bares his feelings in a whole other way. 

[arbitrarycategories]

what’s your favorite character to read about, and what’s your favorite character to write/make hc’s/etc about?

The main man himself, Midoriya Izuku! He lives rent-free in my brain, because his whole character is just?? so fleshed out and well done and interesting?? this last chapter is the PERFECT example because it point-blank tells us that no matter how much power he acquires, he still thinks of himself as a loser. and like WHAT a lad. what a guy. his unrelenting optimism vs his low self esteem FIGHT!!!!

this response is mostly nonsense, but that's because of the brainworms. they Ate all the Coherent Thoughts. I just point and shout THE BOY!!! whenever I see Izuku now