#and the fact that so many of you are interested in this little weirdo i've created and built up

[byanyan]

????????????

[wellofdean]

I wanted to make a separate pose to big up these excellent tags on this post about how a show can be about misogyny when it's about men from @deangirlism101 :

#by virtue of watching the show long after it stopped airing and after years of exposure to the fandom#I've experienced a very interesting phenomenon wherein i went in expecting a very straightforward male fantasy#specifically in regards to dean#and was continuously surprised by how dean was around women who were actual characters and not caricatures#with caricatures of women dean also becomes a caricature of a womanizer#but with woman characters? with victims and friends?#dean is constantly paternal/brotherly#endlessly protective and respectful#in fact dean's utter lack of sexualization of the complex women around him in the first few seasons#kind of had me thinking he might just be straightforward gay#additionally it's interesting to point out that dean is the only one of the three winchesters who does not have a#''symbolic woman'' that drives his narrative#i.e. of the three winchesters he is the one who engages with the women around him as people and not someTHING to give him ''purpose''#which ties pretty well into his own role in his family being a typically femenine one#john endlessly relies on dean to serve the role of his mother yet he resents him when he does it so naturally#which from a queer lense is pretty much spelling out ''john can't put his finger on it but something (queerness) about dean bothers him''#anyways it just surprises me how#the fandom has perpetuated this image of the characters#and how#ironically#that image is the exact caricature dean so obviously puts on and we so obviously are supposed to KNOW he puts on

Some really nice points here, and bang on target:

Dean is not called to his adventure/journey because a symbolic woman dies like John and Sam are; he is put upon it by his father and his own sense of responsibility and love before he has the agency to choose. He wants his father's approval, his brother's love, and he wants not to be alone in a world of monsters...and...is HE a monster? A killer? Is everything his fault?

John resents Dean because what he needs from Dean (obedience, domestic work, emotional labour) is feminine. It's what women are for. Dean internalizes that resentment. Sam defies John and is driven by his own losses, and John can respect that, but Dean becomes the family repository of what they've lost. Dean is the eldest daughter who can never do enough.

John has chosen to abandon normal life and live on the fringes to pursue his revenge quest, and Sam is fighting to get back to the center -- left his family, hot girlfriend, Stanford Law, credit in the straight world, friends. But Dean? He has accepted that he will never be normal. He has accepted that he will always be a lonely, liminal weirdo who knows something terrible about the world that most people are spared from knowing.

Like:

If you leave Supernatural season 1 without realising that everything Dean pretends to be is pretty much the opposite of what he is, then you are not watching it right, full stop. The Dean Winchester he pretends to be is a character invented by a terrified, homeless, wounded little boy who doesn't know how else to protect himself.

Second, if you can't see how totally fucking queer all that is, I CAN'T HELP YOU. And,

you cannot hit that many nails on the head without knowing where you're swinging your hammer, and in conclusion, Dean was always deeply queered, and that was in the DNA of his character.

The truth is, that Dean is a very cohesive character. He is written and performed beautifully, and with intention. He is not an accident, he is an artistic creation, and he is excellently drawn. I am not "giving the writers too much credit", I am taking an Occam's Razor-type view of it, and coming up with the simplest explanation for what I see on the screen.

That said, if by some insane magic trick they managed to make Dean this queer by accident? It doesn't matter what they intended, because THE TEXT IS WHAT IT IS. I don't need the permission of the authors to see a church by daylight, and Dean is THAT OBVIOUS.

[ditizygirl]

Editblr is a breeding ground for idolatry, ableism, racism and so much more all for a community about putting images together.

I've been here for only a year but I feel like I've seen it all, and the excuses oh my god the excuses. You are all 15-19, you should not have the mental capacity of a 8 year old. Your common sense is non existent and almost all of you guys are so fucking stupid it's pissing me off more than any god can understand. You are old enough to have logical thinking skills, you may have a disorder and it may be a reason but not an excuse.

Alot of you have forgotten the saying "Think Before You Talk" and I've sure as hell done alot of thinking. This is my deep dive into editblr.

Ableism

Typing quirks are a way of personal expression but why do so much of you hate to add plain text. I can understand to extent because plain text hates my head because of how long it can be but I'm not gonna act like a little bitch about it. I'm gonna add my typing quirk or even fonts itself to it.

I'm gonna ask someone to help me, or to do it for me. Stopping making excuses for ableism. Alongside with the typing quirks, your psds are ugly and eyestrainy. Psds also fall under racism because I have no idea why you guys are ignoring the fact some make dark skin characters lighter but in the case of ableism most of them are really bright and makes it hard to see.

Orange and brown? Green and yellow? Blue and brown? Why are you putting colours that can be so much eyesore together? And won't even tag as eyestrain and when someone does ask you only do it for one post.

Romanticization

This one is weird as fuck and I see no one mentioning it. Editblr highkey has a ddlg problem, this "little girl" aesthetic you guys have going on borderlines ddlg alot and its icky. The baby talk typing quirk is disgusting, stop it.

I'm not one to judge how someone copes with their trauma but what I DO judge is how you act when majority says its uncomfortable. Now this section I'm a bit unsure how to phrase it, gotta love dyslexia, but that isn't going to stop me.

There's alot of very uncomfortable romanticization of stalking which I've seen so much of alongside abusive relationships and the justification of these things.

Racism

Really can't escape this one unfortunately. Many of you are like kpop idols, you're too dyslexic towards the difference between appropriation and appreciation. Incase you forgot let me remind you.

You can not gift japanese names. Gifting names is a native practice therefore you can only gift native names. Also I've noticed you weirdos befriending people just to use their cultural names. I can't even say it east asian fetishization because its only Japanese.

Also for the love of God can you guys stop saying nonmem and non women especially when referring to sexualities. It's not hard to simply say "queer attraction to women" and "queer attraction to men".

Coming back to the "gifting" names thing, I think it's interesting how all of you conveniently have a Japanese friend who "gifted" you the name of a cute pink anime girl. Maybe I'll do a post later on how much of a bad liar you guys are.

Closed symbols is also another big problem you all have. No matter how much times you're told you can't use something you always cry "but my friend from xyz culture said it was ok!" One person can't speak for a whole culture. You're nothing but a coloinzer in disguise hiding behind the idea of aesthetic. If you want to know if a symbol is closed just use this site.

Goddess Personas

Yea this one is getting a whole section of its own. Like any people I am uncomfortable with goddess personas, especially being someone with biblical sources. Now the idea that a teenager on the internet is making people call them a goddess is strange isn't it?

In my opinion, they're all annoying, copy and paste, and I think not a lot of people talk about how the really bad ones get. You all love to indulge them, make them think they have power over them. You put them on a pedestal and praise them and get surprised when it all goes to their head?

Stop giving 14 years old power, stop indulging in their habits and letting it go their head. Forcing people to refer to you as their goddess? Their Lord and saviour? Their idol? Someone they must listen to? It creates a power inbalance which always leads to the weirdest of manipulation. Also all the engagekiss copiers are so obvious why would you want to copy the identity of a groomer? It says alot of about yourself if that's what you think is ideal.

Callout Posts

Now, personally, I believe that the only reason a callout post happens is because someone was affected, does it not? Very rarely would a callout post would be a fake one, especially if someone has more then one. If you defend someone who has more than one call out post that's on you and you're gonna end up making one some day I can genuine you that. People don't make them for no reason.

This is all I have to say for now. I hope you guys really consider what I have written here, or not, considering the fact you guys have shown multiple times you lack reading comprehension

@starriesse @dollicous @doveinne @firstgf @kiochisato @lamboll @cherryshh @narcbf @lavendergalactic @npditary @sprinkleoverdose @necroangelz @eskeys

[hummingbird-games]

2023 In Review (Indie Games)

Last year's! | 2021

I apologize in advance for how long this might be. As a reminder, I don't bash games here so even if I hated something with every fiber of my being...I ain't sharing. As a second reminder, my more in depth reviews and live blogging has moved to Gem's Game Gems so I don't clutter the HBG's main blog. Okay. ON WITH THE REVIEW!!

DEMOS

Diffraction (Demo)- A rainy day otome indeed. I love the quiet gentleness of this game, the two romance options, and the fact that our MC is a photographer and struggling with her art and stack of life "failures" (because...SAME!!)

Alaris - I was asleep and now I am awake: I came late for the advertised fae and dragon lore, stayed seated and waiting for Fenir zjgjdf. Oh, and I guess the mystery surrounding our MC's abilities LOL.

The Summit Library - When I say I was maaaaaad when I realized I blew through chapter 1 and would have to go back to waiting for more content??? LOL, I was very miffed. Anyhoo, check out this title for the gorgeous art, another intriguing mystery (like what is *up* with the magic in the poor library?? who or what is to blame?? 👀) and of course the lovely characters we've been introduced to thus far.

Of Sense and Soul - I'm a regency romance girl. Like after you strip away the other stuff, I am but a poor woman with simple needs: a good ass love story 🤧💛 It's about the yearning and the slow burn and the will they/won't they/PLEASEEE they...I've never been so charmed by a demo, and the full game is going to be amazing I just know it!

Made Marion - This project is a game I've been keeping tabs on for a hot minute but hadn't taken the time to sit and properly enjoy the demo. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! It's in early access now, so I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to carve out some time to play, but guysss Velvet Cupcake is doing the Thing?!? No idea which love interest I'll go for first, but I had a fun time meeting the Nottingham peeps in the demo.

Herotome (Super Demo) - Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh oh my GOSHHH. Where do I even began?? (Really the question is where the hell do I end because this is one of those projects I talk about a lot/think about a lot and surprisingly haven't run out of things to say zkjfksjd). Another game I've been following for a while, it 100% lives up to the superhero genre in its aesthetic, the characters you interact with, the music and sound design, and of course the slowly unfurling story. Jade and Mia had come out as my top faves, Warden is still there, like hovering in the backgroud, shhhh but I have a special place in my heart for Griffin too (that conversation we have with her?? I have so many screenshots just so I can go back and reread and sear the words in my brain. Like a weirdo. Yup.)

Celestial Crowns - Stats building, celestial royalty, dating sim where you fuck around and find out your choices directly affect your MC's personality?? I'm sat. I supported the Kickstarter and now I try to practice patience for the full game's release siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh.

OTOME/JOSEI JAM

Please note this is a SUPER abridged list for my sanity and I fell a little more in love with these 2 jams with each entry I played...

Intertwine - As embarrassing as it sounds, I've never given much thought to the "red string" thing, and I consume more than enough romance media LOL!! But Van is suuuuuch a beautiful man, the UI for this game is so interactive and lovely, the music is ALSO lovely, just lovely-love all the way around teehee. (Also this game encourages replayabillity so like, do with that info what you will.)

Spring Boy [Demo] - I believe this game is going through a complete rehaul, so my thoughts and feelings refer to the original jam entry I played. The art is bright and cute and it's a super super short demo, but I was intrigued by the other student we meet on our mission to plead with our professor about our bombed exam lol!

Assignment Due: Project Blue - IRl group projects??? Suck absolute ass. Group projects with a guy name Asher?? Suddenly it's my new favorite thing in the world 😁

Cryptid Campaign Manager [DEMO] - Remember the last time I looked over a cryptid dating sim??? Remember how I was SUCH a fool?? Good thing I didn't make that mistake again!! The prologue is such a tease but you get an idea of what the full game is gonna be like, and I'm excited to see where my career involving love (and politics) goes!

Heart Cage [Demo] - Yoooooo I stay my ass far far far away from yanderes (could never get into the trope or the character type). WELP. Guess I just needed to keep searching because I really downloaded this off a whim--well, the whim being one of my fellow dev peers playing and rating-- and proceeded to get sucked in 🤧I thought being a detective would be the highlight, but I guuuueeesssss I was more into the romance options than I thought. Oops.

Evernight - I tried to explain what this game meant to me on the side blog, but words failed me. I still don't know what to say other than I loved it?? Which is like ummm I say I love everything, and yeah I'm easy to please BUT Y'ALLLLLL if you play no other game, play this one. Please. Date a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a fae. Plz. Also figuring out the mystery of your MC's abilities and past is just delightful, ugh.

Bright Oak (demo) - Anotha one I wrote about on the side blog!!! Play this one!!! The writing is lush and atmospheric and the characters are all delightful and it's another game with a mystery to untangle!

The Faithfulness of the Universe- This one gets the award for most unique all around entry that I played. Theeeeee prettiest pixel art to bless my eyeballs, and this tasty mystery concerning Fate and witch Faustina's future (or lack thereof 👀) and what it all means. As a player I very much want to know what it all means!

A Cup For All Seasons - Another game that needs its flowers y'all. It's short but super healing and super cozy and the voice acting and music really tie the gaming experience together???

The Working Woman's Guide to Burning Bridges - DEMO - It's the way I played the demo twice and I've been thinking about it ever since 😭😭😭🙃 obviously life happens and things come up, plus this was a demo. But. BUT!!! I am on my hands and knees prayinnggg the team gets together again to finish the game. I love playing as a stressed, lowkey bitter hot mess who doesn't have her life together 😂somehow the fictional version is soooo much more entertaining!!!

Keyframes (Spring Demo) - After the game College Craze, this is legit THE college, slice of life visual novel of my dreams. I cannot wait for the updated demo next year, and the Kickstarter whenever that rolls around. And now that the developer is on Tumblr, I've definitely been stalking the account and reading each new post like it's my day/night/weekend job 🤧

Hello Counsel 💋 - Okay I take it back, Evernight is like a 20/10 but Hello Counsel is like an 100/10 👁️👄👁️ This game is necessary for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, alright? The banter ✅ the character designs ✅ the music ✅ the sizzling chemistry between Poise and Salem ✅ I wish this game had more buzz because IT'S SO GOOD!!! (also the dev, Miseri, is who I wanna be when I grow up. I've made it through almost their whole backlog of games and there are no misses and EVERY game is different from the rest and it makes it hard for a toodler dev--ME--to cope LOL)

Candied Hearts - Isekaied into a candy themed game?? Sign me TF UP!!! (Peppermint I love you dearly, you must understand.)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

The Knight's Dilemma - I don't even know how I originally stumbled upon this??? I just know it had been in my backlog for a hot minute and I was intrigued enough to save it way back when. Y'ALL WHY DIDN'T I PLAY SOONER SKJFHFJFH! There's a couple different endings, I loved the voice direction, AND it's such a simple concept of a game that was just executed beautifully.

Trouble Comes Twice - If I had to make a top 5 list of romance VNs, guess who makes the list?? Guess. Guess guess guess. Have you guessed yet??? LOL! I have been in love with TCT since it's development days and with each passing month, waiting in anticipation, playing the Pateron beta builds, screaming on the main blog about every single thought I had about Jace and Hazel (shoutout to Jace for helping me figure out *me*) Lol if you're curious about said thoughts, those posts are on this blog and not the side blog.

Aelfric the Wondrous - 10/10 would love to forget my first play through JUST to have that experience fresh again 😭😭💛Cute and funny and a wonderful parody type game all around.

A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986 - Goodness, there's no excuse for why this took me years to finish but anyhoo, I finished, I loved it, I recommend it! It's romantic and achingly authentic and the art is soooo gorgeous I literally can't stand it 😭

The Things You Do For Love - Unhinged yandere manages to entertain and garner sympathy and laughter from Gemini. And that poly ending is chef's kiss too????

Band Camp Boyfriend - There are a handful of games I found and loved before I began my game development journey, and this is one of them. BCB is so dear to me, because of the story and characters but also because of the Dynamic Duo creators and their team behind the scenes. I was never a band kid I was a chorus kid but just as the band geeks loved this game to pieces, us normal folks do too!! Even the boys who I didn't like I STILL managed to find joy in playing their routes (still have a few more to finish at the time of this posting lol, GOTTA GET THE FINAL ROUTE YO). Anyway, this game more than delivered for me and I hope more people keep discovering it!!

Belle Automata: Chronicle I [RELEASED] - While only Chronicle 1 is out at the time of this posting, I already know that the 2nd and 3rd parts are going to be just as amazing???? I wrote about this one on the side blog, so here's my copypaste that still rings true:  

I love TNP (The Nightmare Prince) but Victor’s route hit the sweet spot for me. Maybe it’s the slow(er) burn nature of this route, maybe it’s the reserved nature of Victor and watching him slowly start to care (AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE FEELINGS TEEHEE) for me.

A Date with Death - I wrote about this on the side blog--again--. The demo. And then right after finishing a route. And then again where I was fully awake and still managed to sound deranged. No copypaste for that, I shall be nice. But yeah!! Another game where I was screaming at the sky about how much I love it and how I'll never know peace as long as I live.

Our Life: Baxter DLC - I need to offer an official apology to both Cove and Derek because falling head over heels, down the stairs, crashing into the parking lot, falling again but down a manhole for Baxter's infuriating ass was NOT on my 2023 bingo board??? HELLO???? I bought his DLC just to complete my OL collection. Was not expecting to love it this much. Was not expecting to be called to write fanfic and abandon all responsibilities to do this. WHILE DOWN WITH COVID TOO. Allow me to play the song of my people. *Send in the Clowns plays*

Our Cinderella - (this is so funny I'm taking about a side game before the main game LOLOLOLOL) Guys. Guysss. You guyyyysss 🥹if you're looking for a cozy, hilarious, equally oddly and wonderfully sweet short game, this is the one!! You may have your personal favorite Iggy ship (like me) but all the pairings are so amazing and just make sense lol!

Wylde Flowers - This is the only non visual novel game on here but it gets the spotlight because I did NOT spend 90+ hours on this game to gatekeep this beauty. No. It the coziest, the funniest, the funnest, the most addictive Switch game (after Teacup) I've ever played.

Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)

Garden of Seif: Chronicles of an Assassin - Life kicked my butt and then sat on me SO while I finally got my grubby hands on the full copy, I still have only played the entirety of the demo. But. We will return to this in 2024 and hopefully I'll have a full review for the next wrap up!

Our Wonderland - I looked back at the side blog and I can't believe it was only THIS year that I started OW??? Because I'd known of the game and the dev for longer than that??? So basically what I'm saying is that I was chicken shit for longer than I've been in love with this world that Developer Carrot has created kjzhhshggj. But OMG to get me, who is scared oh so easily to get hella invested in this clearly labeled horror game??????????????? And even with shit gets super absurd and hella disturbing, I cannot stop playing. At the time of this post, I'm only in Act 4, hence the category above, but it's only because I play each act in a sitting and lose track of space and time and myself. That's a compliment btw.

...

Okie!! That's 2023 in a nutshell! I played a looooot of really good games this year and while I would have liked to talk about them all, I think this list provides a nice overview.

Let me know if we share any favorites!

- Gemini 💛

[eldritch-spouse]

HI AGAIN. Ever since I found your blog and also sent a totally normal ramble abt cannibalism I've been just. Gently tossing your guys back and forth in my head. You're a wonderful writer and I'm always excited to see you on my dash!!

Gonna throw my hat in as asking an actual question- How would your guys fare if their obsession had a particularly weird or morbid interest? I get the vibes that some of them would most certainly encourage it but I also feel like Vinnel would hit me with a hammer if I panic infodumped about ebola-

[Hellow, glad to see you again! Also, I know you probably just forgot, but "your guys" encompasses way too many characters to talk about at once, so I'll assume you were going for TCE staff.]

Morell especially likes hearing about your cannibalism infodumps. They're actually useful to him, since he's going to be living with you, and he needs to know what he can and can't feed you, as well as a possible child between you. It's actually interesting stuff, he'd like it if you talked about it to his family too, you're a smart piggy. Any other topics are usually met with less enthusiasm (unless kitchen/food related), and he'll ask you to quit it if you start talking too much about mushrooms. Overall, it's nice background noise to work to.

Patches is all about infodumping. In fact, you're subjected to it often too, even if he doesn't always stop to explain basic concepts you'd need to understand his rambling. He'll give you a recorder he has, so he can keep the sound of that boundless enthusiasm in your voice forever. He's much more participative than the others, asking various questions and tossing random scenarios at you that'll prompt you to learn even more. There's a potential he'll get distracted and stop working to just research this with you the whole day.

Gallon loves a weirdo -No offense- Feel free to dump all that morbidity on him, he soaks it up like a sponge (so does Martin, be careful). Although he prefers to let you speak unhindered, only egging you on when it seems you're getting passionately angry about things, there's a chance Gallon may begin his own little tidbit sharing regarding a variety of poisons and toxins. He's selective with what he lets slip, but figures it could interest you.

Santi likes listening to you. Doesn't matter what it's about. There's only one thing he doesn't want you to morbidly talk to him about, anything featuring kids. Other than that, you think a rant about the intricacies of cannibalism's effects will kill his mood? Hah, nice try. He usually doesn't have anything smart to say, but may actually pitch in with some first hand details if you mention something sexual and morbid.

Let's face it, this is going in one of Grimbly's eardrums and out the other. Unless, you can talk like you're in a true crime podcast, then he's all ears. Grimbly typically responds to these interests by bragging to others about how his Mommy's "so smart" and "cultured" and he learns so much with you! You should start a YouTube channel!

Nebul likes to hear what you think is morbid. He'll let you ramble when you've been good enough to earn his attention, or if it allows you to keep obeying him. He has his own morbidities to share with you, as a wraith who has seen the darkest parts of many a mind. Surely, you of all people would be fascinated to know how the brain reacts to very invasive types of trauma only some monsters can inflict...

Vinnel will use this to his advantage during shows. You're placed in dangerous games where the whole goal is for you to explain said morbid concepts to the audience while Vinnel or Jingles try to destabilize you so you'll fall into painful contraptions or get cut/bruised/undressed. Sometimes Vinnel pays attention to your infodumps, other times he openly doesn't, it's a coin toss.

Belo sincerely discourages you from seeking such dark information in your brain. A lesser's mind is like a canvas, and it shouldn't be furnished with such desolate knowledge... If your morbid interests somehow can shine a glimmer of positivity or utility, the angel will be a little more inclined to letting you keep pursuing these topics. Otherwise, Belo actively attempts to distract you.

Sybastian doesn't understand about 80% of what you're about to tell him, but he has all the time in the world to sit and listen to his favorite person spit words. He's not verbally communicative during these episodes, but he may clap depending on how impressive the information is, and he remembers things you say enough to sometimes present you with paraphernalia vaguely related to the topics of your morbid interests.

Fank-e is a good bet because he can add onto your information in real time, or correct small detail you may get them wrong. He's generally happy to give you links to more information sources and try to match your level of knowledge, uncaring of how dark the subject theme may be.

If there's one thing you can infodump to Krulu about, it would be diseases. Plagues and ailments of several types are his specialty, the chances of him imparting bits of knowledge you absolutely should not possess on this matter are high. Another thing you may infodump to him about is corvids. It gets him in very favorable moods, surprisingly.

[eddiemunsonw]

Your presence is a gift

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: After announcing your engagement to your boyfriend at Steve's birthday party, Eddie quite literally vanishes from your life. Just yours, though. You miss him terribly and when you run into him again two years later yet again at Steve's birthday party, you ask him for clarity.

CW/Disclaimer: A bit of angst with a happy ending I suppose?

Author's note: This fic came to life after seeing a silly text. I've put the image at the end. :)

Words: 4209

Time flies when you’re having fun, right? That’s what they say. Well, time also flies when you’re not having fun. Unless you’re in an excruciatingly painful disaster, then it’ll feel like you can feel every second painfully ticking by. For you, it felt like a combination of both. 

Every day, he was on your mind. Eddie Munson. Someone you used to consider one of your closest friends. Up until two years ago, you used to hang out several days a week, a little less once you got a boyfriend but you never thought it would change this drastically. To think you hadn’t seen his face in so long felt impossible to you. 

The last time you had seen him had been at Steve’s birthday party two years ago. Since you were sitting on the same stool you sat back then, you couldn’t help but think of him. Honestly, the whole environment reminded you of him. After all, you spent many nights with him, Steve and others here. Playing games, watching movies, talking until the sun came peeking through the trees again. You watched absentmindedly as Steve busied himself with entertaining his guests, occasionally glancing at you with mild concern. You told him you were fine, he just didn’t buy it. Oh well.

You knew it had been quick when you announced your engagement, you had only been dating Trent for about… four months? But he went down on one knee and you were always bad at saying no. Trent insisted on sharing it at Steve’s birthday party. You didn’t exactly want to take the attention away from Steve, but Trent… Well, sometimes it was just easier to agree than not to. Steve had been shocked, but happy for you. Eddie had been… Eddie. And yet he had been nothing like him at all. From being the life of the party he had gone instantly silent, gazing into his glass that he never ended up finishing. He congratulated you eventually, after asking you if you loved him, Trent. And you told him yes. Because who would marry someone who they didn’t love, right? Right.

The year after that, Eddie hadn’t attended Steve’s birthday. Supposedly he was sick but you knew he was simply avoiding you. Steve’s face never held many secrets from you and you could tell that the reason he gave you wasn’t a real one. Your husband had been sitting next to you, indifferent to it all. He frankly found it a little annoying that you were still so hung up over Eddie no longer being your… friend? Was that what it was? It felt like you had lost much more than a friend. 

And that was that. No sign of Eddie since. He canceled on your get togethers, even the group ones, always claimed he was busy with the band which, for some time, seemed like a valid reason considering they were doing pretty well nowadays. However, all of that belief went out the window when you discovered that he did in fact still meet up with his friends. With Steve. Just not with you. Steve didn’t want to meddle, told you that you two should probably talk but Eddie made it impossible. Even when Steve tried to create an ‘accidental run-in’ between you two, Eddie figured it out before you even could arrive and had already bolted. 

You forced yourself to accept that Eddie, for whatever reason, had decided he didn’t want to see you anymore. Maybe he needed time… or something. You couldn’t fathom why, not even when Trent exclaimed that ‘that weirdo’ had probably been waiting to get into your pants and when he realized he couldn’t, he had no more interest in being your ‘friend’. That remark had probably resulted in the biggest fight between you and Trent. Things had felt different after. Though looking back on it, things had never felt good in the first place. It had all just felt… expected and how it should be.

Despite everything, despite Trent’s obvious annoyance, you still sent Eddie a wedding invite. You missed him, you missed your friend more than you thought you could ever miss him. Sometimes, when you had a little too much to drink, you wondered whether there had been more. What if Eddie in fact did have… a desire to get into your pants. What if it wasn’t just a sexual desire. What if Eddie…

It never went much further than that. Eddie being in love with you was such a foreign concept to your brain that you couldn’t even entertain the thought. Not after dealing with your one-sided feelings for him for years. Not after seeing him kiss and take home whoever he felt like over and over and never once looking in your direction. Surely he would have considered you an option if it had been like that.

So, you had invited your friend. Asked Steve whether Eddie had brought it up with him or not. To which Steve responded that Eddie no longer wanted to talk about you. Yet you couldn’t help but hold on to hope. 

It drove Trent insane when you insisted on adding banana flavored ice cream to the dessert options. He told you no one liked banana ice cream because it was rank and that it didn’t even taste like banana. Of course, he figured out who in your social circle did like it. Trent had gotten angry about a lot of trivial things and somehow Eddie was often wedged into the subject. If you were honest, you hadn’t really known Trent all that well before you said yes to his proposal. It was as if the moment he knew he had you, he slowly started to change or rather, be more himself.

Eddie never came to the wedding. No one ordered banana ice cream for dessert.

“Y/N, refill?” Steve interrupted your thoughts. You blinked and quickly propped a smile on your face before meeting his gaze.

“Oh, yes, thank you,” you handed your glass to him and moments later he handed it back to you containing an orange-red liquid. You gazed at it for a moment before addressing him. “Sex on the beach?”

Steve smirked. “That’s the one.” His hand squeezed your shoulder kindly before he joined the others again. He knew it was futile to ask if you wanted to join them, knew you sometimes preferred to just listen along from a distance far enough where you wouldn’t be expected to engage. 

You never could have expected that about an hour later, you would be sharing the balcony space with no other than Eddie Munson. In silence. You went there for some fresh air, he went there to pollute it with his smoke filled exhales. Neither of you acknowledged the other. When you heard the door open you hadn’t even turned around. You had been there a while, so lost in thought that you barely registered it. It hadn’t even occurred to you that he was at the party, that’s how long you had been there. You had never seen him arrive.

However, you didn’t even have to look as much in his direction to know it was him. It was the mix of Old Spice, cigarettes and mint and something entirely Eddie that gave it away. A combination of scents that had quickly become your favorite when you first started to hang out with him. You felt it when he rested his arms on the railing just like you were. You wondered if his heartbeat felt as deafening to him as yours did to you. He could have said something. After everything that you tried, it felt painful to be ignored like that even when you were right next to him. As you were working up the courage to say something, your brain decided to take a plunge into your memory and skip all the polite small talk, instead going for the one thing that had been bothering you for a long time now.

“Why didn’t you come to the wedding?”

Eddie took the slowest drag of his cigarette mankind had ever taken, sighed and lazily inspected the ashes while he flicked them off into the wind. You still weren’t looking at him when he shrugged indifferently.

“Your invitation wasn’t really an invitation.”

An overwhelming surge of emotions clutched and clawed at your chest, begging to be let in or let out, it was hard to tell. You had missed his voice so much. It took you a moment to realize that what he said made no sense at all.

“What do you mean?” Slowly, you dared to look in his direction from the corner of your eye. He was still focused on his cigarette, watching it burn.

“Well,” Eddie started to cite it perfectly, as if he had just held your invite two seconds ago and it was still at the forefront of his mind. “Your presence itself is a gift. We don’t want you to bring any gifts to the wedding.”

For a moment you could only stare at him. Surely he didn’t mean…

“You can’t be serious.”

Eddie’s eyes followed the railing until they landed on your hands and the sublest frown etched into his forehead when he couldn’t spot a wedding ring, or any ring for that matter, on your fingers. Perhaps you were scared of losing it or something. Where was Trent anyway?

“It said I am a gift and to not bring gifts. It’s simple math.”

The indifference in his voice ignites a burning frustration in you. How could he act so casually about this when you had in fact cried (of course not in the presence of Trent) over his absence? How could he act like your years of friendship meant nothing to him, from one day to the other? Eddie, who always fantasized out loud about how you’d still get drunk enough together to think dancing on rooftops was a good idea at the age of 85.

“Everyone got that invitation and they were there,” you gritted out.

Another shrug.

“I’m sorry about that. Maybe they didn’t get it.”

“No, you didn’t get it,” you retorted, your frustration becoming more difficult to contain and be limited to just your thoughts.

“No, Y/N, you didn’t get it. You still don’t,” he mumbled.

You didn’t get it?! Your body was fully turned to him now and Eddie still refused to look at you. It drove you insane.

“Then please, explain to me why you ditched one of your best friends at her wedding after refusing to meet up with her anymore out of the fucking blue?”

“Oh you really don’t think there was something specific that went down that could have possibly caused all of this?” Eddie bit back, his eyes finally meeting yours. You were a little taken aback by the blazing fire they held, though. The hurt within them. As if all of this had somehow been your fault.

“Am I supposed to believe that you were so opposed to the idea of me being happy that you decided you no longer wanted to be anywhere near me, ever again? Is that it? Was it the engagement?”

“Yes. I couldn’t bear watching you throw away the life you had to get with some selfish prick that couldn’t even be bothered to see if you were okay when you tripped because ‘you should watch where you walk’. Who was so fucking different from you he kept wanting to change you, push you into boxes you weren’t. So yes when I heard you were willingly getting into that boat with him forever, I stepped back. What of it?”

He stood facing you directly now, arms crossed tightly over his chest, stance wide. His nostrils flared as he breathed out heavily, eyes wide as saucers as he tried to contain what seemed to be anger, built up frustration.

“Which life?! The one where I just had to miserably watch how everyone around me got settled and slowly slipped into a domestic-white-pickett-fence-with-two-children kind of life?”

“You had us! You had me!” Eddie unknowingly raised his voice, his hands pushed tightly against his chest to stop them from shaking.

“I had friends, yes! Such a crime for me to want something more, huh? Don’t get me wrong, Eddie, but it was only a matter of time before one of those bimbos you hooked up with after gigs became a long-term partner. I’m sure you’ve…” You vaguely gestured at him, his hands, something, because surely he had a great girlfriend by now. Someone that fit him like you never would.

Eddie shook his head vigorously, his wild hair following the movement. He revealed his hands, pointing at his empty ring finger.

“See? Nothing. I’m not like you. I don’t just settle for whoever.” 

You scoffed and revealed your hands.

“No you’re not like me indeed. I got divorced. Guess you win again, congrats.”

For the first time, his hostility faded a little. It was almost as if he wanted to approach you but instead he crossed his arms again, not meeting your eyes.

“Sorry about that, I guess. I didn’t know. Steve never told me.”

“Steve told me you didn’t want to talk about me, so. Not surprised that he didn’t.”

Eddie groaned impatiently, his hands flying up to his hair to run through as he looked inside, where he spotted Steve quickly turning his head away. Fucker.

“He knows why I didn’t want to talk about you though. He should have, I could have— But now instead I’ve been— Fuck!”

“You’re… not making a lot of sense right now, bud,” you remarked dryly.

Another groan, though a bit more whiny.

“Don’t fucking— I’m not your bud alright?”

You rolled your eyes, fed up with him by now. It was as if he had taken four knives to stab you simultaneously with, twisting them occasionally.

“You’re right. You’re nothing to me, apparently. As you wish.”

Both of you were so lost in your own world that you didn’t even notice how Steve had closed off the view to the balcony doors by drawing the curtains to prevent anyone else from coming up. Neither had you noticed that he had in fact locked the doors as well.

“You’re a real bitch, you know that?” Eddie seethed through his teeth, taking a small step closer towards you with his eyes blazing. It was the last straw you needed after this agonizing build up of two years. You had had enough. 

“Oh I’m a bitch?! You literally gave me the cold fucking shoulder from one day to the next, ignored all my calls, all my messages, you literally pretended like I didn’t fucking exist, Eddie! Why would you do something like that, knowing how much it would hurt me? Call me a bitch all you want, but you’re heartless.”

“I’ve been fucking heartless since the goddamn day you stole it, Y/N.”

What? Stunned, you looked up at him to witness the panic that flared up in his eyes and he quickly made a beeline towards the balcony doors.

“Eddie, wait—” 

Eddie shook his head and tried to pry the door open with all his might. He was desperate to get away from you as far as possible.

“Why the fuck can’t I— Steve. Steve! Open the goddamn thing now!”

It didn’t take long for Steve to appear when Eddie started banging loudly on the window. He pulled the curtains around his head, making it look like it was floating amidst the black curtains and promptly shook his head.

“No. Fix it, Munson. Until then, enjoy your stay on the balcony,” Steve told him through the window, right before disappearing again.

“Fuck!”

He kicked against a heavy plant pot for good measure, causing him to swear some more before he meekly faced you again. You had quietly been following the whole ordeal and were still struggling to find the words to respond to any of it.

“So… What was that about me stealing your heart?” you asked softly and you had half the mind to be amused by the expression Eddie had on his face. There was no world where you wouldn’t find him and his panicky expressions at least slightly adorable.

“It sounds even more ridiculous when you say it,” Eddie sighed, slumping down against the door until he sat on the floor.

“Since when?”

“Since forever, man. How could I not?” He gestured at you as if he hated to admit it, arm dropping back down a little too harsh causing him to curse softly.

“How?”

“What do you mean how? It just happens, and I’m not gonna apologize for how I feel about y—”

“No, I mean,” you interrupted him, “you were always… You never gave me the idea that you even considered me that way.” 

Eddie frowned and rested his head against the door as he let go of a long sigh.

“I literally said you were like Arwen to me. And that Aragorn was my favorite.” His pout was a little childlike, as if it had been something that had bothered him for years on end. In fact, it had. You groaned in disbelief.

“I hadn’t read it by then! You wouldn’t tell me why you thought I was like Arwen and told me to just read the book. Which I never did because I was always hanging with you doing other stuff in my free time. And once I did have the time, you were always hooking up with random girls so I didn’t really feel like it anymore.”

“Why would you not want to read Lord of the Rings because I was making out with random chicks?” he asked, clear confusion on his face. He almost looked a little insulted.

“Because I was jealous, you idiot! I wasn’t gonna read a thick book that I was going to read for you when you were busy exploring other people’s throats.”

“I’m afraid I’m not following, Y/N, what do you mean you were jealous? You always shot me those god awful finger guns with a huge grin whenever I went backstage with one of them.” 

“Oh, was I supposed to pull them back by their hair and say something like ‘He’s mine, you bimbo!’ and stick my tongue down your throat instead?” you asked him with a dead panned expression, causing him to chuckle unexpectedly.

“Uh, yeah?! That’s exactly how I imagined it would go, but instead you were all supportive and nice about it so I figured you didn’t give two shits. I even tried two on one night and… nothing! Not even a jealous eyebrow twitch that I know you can do, the way you do when someone gets the best part of a cake with the extra chocolates on it. I was desperate, Y/N.”

You debated sitting across from him but figured the door would be more comfortable against your back, so instead you hesitantly sat down next to him. Eddie didn’t seem to mind, to your relief.

“Ever thought of just… I don’t know, walking up to me and saying you liked me or something?” you asked with a quip of your brow and a soft smile.

“Uh, right back at you.” Eddie rolled his eyes, though he wore the hint of a smile on his face.

“No but, seriously. You kissed random girls during your shows. All you had to do was pick me instead, no?”

Eddie shook his head.

“With them it didn’t matter. With you… if you rejected me, you’d break my heart.”

The silence settled between you again. Heavy, yet not uncomfortable. Eddie exhaled slowly, his shoulder touching yours so light you could have imagined it.

“And then suddenly you introduced Trent to us. I thought, this prick isn’t gonna last a month. You and him? Nah, not in a million years. But then he did. And another, and another, and another. And then… you were engaged. I was convinced it was all just a horrible nightmare. An awful trick played on me. But I just had to accept that I was some random side character in your life and that I had wasted my chance to become anything more.”

He played with the frayed ends of one of the holes in his jeans and exhaled shakily, his fingers trembling slightly. 

“It’s why I asked if you loved him, you know? I thought… maybe. But you said yes, so I had to back away. I wasn’t going to act fair towards you if I didn’t. I— I was a mess, ask Steve. He got fed up with me so many times but he- he’s a good one, y’know. Of course you know. So yeah, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. The only reason I’m even here is because Steve promised that you weren’t gonna come. And then suddenly…”

“Here I was,” you finished for him. He nodded.

“There you were.” A sigh, a shy glance in your direction. “As beautiful as ever, if not more. I was so shocked to see you that I forgot to leave.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” you told him softly. “I hope you never will.”

You reached for his trembling fingers and covered them with your own, slowly pushing them apart. Eddie swallowed audibly, his eyes flicking from your hands to your face.

“I’ve missed you,” he confessed in a whisper, his eyes wide and sincere. His thumb softly caressed your pinky.

“I’ve missed you too.” A beat of silence. “I put banana ice cream on the menu, you know.”

Eddie turned his head and smiled in disbelief. “You did?”

“Mhm,” you chuckled softly. “No one ordered.”

“What a waste. I would’ve eaten it all.”

You shared a smile and rested your heads against one another.

“Sorry I wasn’t there,” he said eventually. You shrugged. 

“It’s fine, you didn’t miss anything anyway. Apart from the ice cream, of course.”

“You looked beautiful. Steve has— I’m sure you know but, he had the photo of you and him framed. He wanted to put it up but wanted to wait until he had more things to put up so he could arrange it all at once. But I guess… it’s a bit weird now.”

Steve. Always such a sweetheart.

“I didn’t know, actually. But yeah, a little weird I guess.” 

You both listened to the music coming from inside, your fingers gently drumming along. Eddie’s head too, you noticed vaguely as he moved against your head. At least, that’s what you assumed until you felt his lips on your cheek. You could feel he was holding onto his breath, waiting for your reaction. Hesitantly, he kissed your cheek again, his trembling lips giving away how nervous he was. You turned your head slowly. His breath hitched a little when your lips brushed his, unsure whether to move away or not. Gently, you added the lightest pressure onto his lips with your own and pressed them together into a kiss. You didn’t care that his fingers squished yours a little painfully as he tightly grasped his knee in response. He leaned back shakily, just enough to break apart only so he could press your lips together again. Sweeter, more intentional, more mutual. He shifted slightly, his leg resting on your crossed legged ones a little as his other hand came up to cup your cheek, deepening the kiss he had desired to give you for years. Your lips danced together without a fight for dominance, instead it was all about unity, in the perfect alignment of your faces together. The softest giggle escaped his lips when his nose bumped into yours as you changed angles. He gasped when your fingers threaded into his hair.

The both of you were so lost in the kiss that you didn’t notice Steve peeking through the curtains, needing a moment to discover you were in fact making out against the door. You didn’t notice him closing them again either, however…

“YES!! FINALLY!”

Eddie bumped his head against the door in shock and you quickly broke apart, but only after gazing into each other’s eyes lazily with the dopiest smiles on your faces.

“Was that Steve?” you asked.

“Sure was. Steve!” Eddie knocked on the door before getting up and extending his hand to help you as well. Steve was quick to show up in front of the balcony doors again and removed the curtains before opening them.

“Shit, you saw me didn’t you?” Steve asked guiltily, bummed that he interrupted your moment. Eddie snorted and shook his head.

“No dude, it was your high pitched scream that gave us a near heart attack.” 

“Oh. Well. I’m glad you guys uh… made up. Sorry for locking you out, but I had to do something. You can come back in now.”

As Steve stepped aside, Eddie chuckled and reached for the black curtains to pull them back closed again.

“Thank you, but uhm, maybe later? We’ve got some catching up to do.” 

Eddie grinned down at you as he closed the balcony doors again and wasted no second to wrap his arms around your waist. You beamed up at him, eyes sparkling with delight.

“Where were we, sweetheart?”

Here's the image I mentioned earlier. Funny how a whole short fic can come out of it, right? :)

[toon-topaz]

HIII so basically i am obsessed with your vampire if. I've never even had a specific fixation on vampires lol but i LOVE the idea of giving subaru even more reason to be paranoid of the people around him!!! :D ALSO ALSO the trauma of being killed by vampires?? beings he idolises?? Something else he'll probably have a breakdown about yay!!! ^^ ANYWAY if you don't mind me asking how do you think him being human would affect his relationships with others who know/don't know?? Like in canon he's already an incomprehensible weirdo but now that he's ACTIVELY trying to hide something do those not in the know suspect/distrust him even more?? For those that DO know how do they feel about it?? Do they have to like. Actively cover up for him when he slips up?? Does the shared secret bring them closer?? e.g., in Pristella haha what do you mean its suspicious that you've never seen Natsuki eat?? Now that i think about it since Emilia's been established as a subpar liar its probably Otto who has to save Subarus human ass lol assuming he's eventually told as a part of his camp. Sorry for the uncomfortably detailed ask lmao ur au just grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go!!

Oh please don't apologize, I am absolutely delighted to be getting interest in my silly little au :D

I’ll try my best to answer all your questions but feel free to ask more or just throw in some ideas of your own hehe, either in reblogs or DMs I don’t mind.

So yes absolutely he will be having many breakdowns about it on top of your usual “stuck in a timeloop of death” breakdowns lol. He learns very quick why being in a world full of vampires is absolutely not fun, and to be fair he did sort of assume he’d get turned at some point and get to live as one. Alas, he’s simply too fragile to withstand the process, if he even gets that far before just dying of blood loss. He’s very tasty.

His relationships with everyone are made even more complex than they already are by the fact that they could straight up kill him if they pick him up wrong. He has to walk on eggshells and he hates it, and so do they. He’s trying so hard to be a tough masculine man like his father, hell he likes being all rough and tumble and play fighting and all that, but he just can’t. Back home he was at least fairly fit and resilient but here, in comparison to everyone else (even the village children)? He feels utterly worthless, and it absolutely starts to skew his sense of self. Was he ever even that athletic? Has he always been so breakable, or is it just that everyone here is superhuman? It’s not even limited to just Reinhard or Garfiel anymore, it’s everyone, including random thugs. The malnutrition from a lack of a balanced diet in the first few months aren’t helping his physical state, nor is the insomnia.

It isn’t helped by the fact that after just a couple loops, he’s legitimately quite afraid of his friends and enemies alike. He doesn’t hold a candle to them, and if any of them were so inclined to harm him, if they suddenly became hostile (he’s carrying a LOT of miasma, AND his human blood is like ambrosia to pretty much every vampire), there would be quite literally nothing he could do to stop him. And the only failsafe he has is rewinding time a bit to try and stop whatever happened from happening this time.

His developing brain is pretty much fucked, because while he’s terrified of his friends he still loves them all so very much, even the ones who have actually killed, maimed, tortured and/or eaten him. The idea of love in his mind goes hand in hand with fear and pain, and there’s no separating it at this point, which leaves him at once incredibly wary and paranoid, and paradoxically very susceptible to manipulation. He can’t hold it against them, if they get a whiff of his blood they can’t help it, no matter how many nights he spends awake and trembling under his covers. The only one he doesn’t fear like this is Beatrice, because she isn’t a vampire. Once they form their contract he at least has someone to hold onto and keep an eye on the door for him. Beatrice swears she won’t let anything get him in his sleep, and she means it.

The one boon all this has given him, if you can call it that, is that it’s turned him into a VERY good liar. He’s much better at improvising a cover story than his canon counterpart, even able to keep track of multiple lies at once. He allows himself to be a bit more open with his own camp, who all are informed eventually, and with a little bit of help from resident fraud expert Otto, he’s able to have a fully crafted and rehearsed backstory, paperwork and all. He’s only this weak because he’s afflicted with a chronic sickness that stunts his vampiric powers. Yes, it’s permanent, it’s a family curse. Don’t worry about how there’s no records of such a disease existing outside of this one certificate that definitely wasn’t forged.

The constant lying is isolating, but at least this secret is one he keeps on purpose, for a very good reason. At least it’s not something he physically cannot talk about lest he and his loved ones be violently punished, like that other thing. Thanks Satella.

As for how everyone else feels about this, I’ve mostly detailed it in that other post (that I have a followup reblog to in the works I promise), I can link it in the replies if you haven’t seen it.

The whole Priestella thing would be VERY funny though, and by funny I mean horrifying, because these damned Archbishops are even scarier now. I haven’t yet thought about how Dragon’s Blood would affect him differently but man it sure is fun to think about.

Anyways yea that’s my brain dump for now uwu, hope you enjoyed and again, don’t be afraid to start a conversation I love to chat

[theromanticrationalist]

Young Sheldon Season 7 Thoughts. . .

"I've got a hot wife and a Nobel Prize, I turned out fine."

I LIVE. <insert Mushu gif raising from the afterlife> It has been awhile since I have been able to update on here! There are many reasons for this, one of them being my other fandom obsession (Dune, you know the other neurodivergent, genius, socially awkward white boy who thinks he is a god...), but also I've reached the level of obsession with Sheldon Cooper that it is nearly physically impossible for me to watch the new episodes! I hope others understand that feeling. I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH. 😭 I am just SO NERVOUS about this season! I don't want Sheldon to experience tragedy. Yet - I have chosen to persevere, and I have now caught up!

And the story has certainly unfolded in interesting directions! 😮 Okay, okay - so the BIG thing - Sheldon witnessing his Father sleeping with "another woman"! I am feeling conflicting emotions - impressed, relieved, and a little upset. I am impressed and relieved because they were able to adhere to the integrity of this show while still allowing established canon to be technically true. However, I am also a little upset because it makes Sheldon's experience less serious and lessens the trauma of it that clearly was established in TBBT. In the episode when Sheldon confesses to Penny about what he saw with his father and how it effected him, that was deeply personal and profoundly impacting. It is what scared him in regards to his relationship with Amy, and kept up his walls against intimacy and vulnerability because he was terrified of hurting her. And it is what made him develop the three knocks coping mechanism. To me the fact that it was actually just a silly misunderstanding (his mother roleplaying) is just another aspect of the writers once again invalidating Sheldon as a character. It is THE main mistake of TBBT, playing Sheldon's personality quirks as primarily foolish and "Hah hah hah! Isn't he a weirdo who doesn't understand social conventions and established normal human behavior?! Har har har!"

"Penny, I'm going to tell you a story that I've never told anyone..." Sheldon and Penny at the ice cream parlor in Season 10 Episode 5 The Hot Tub Contamination of The Big Bang Theory. This was one of the rare moments this show treated Sheldon's character with gravitas. That's kind of ruined now. . . This is a sin that Young Sheldon has not committed until now, and so that really steams my clams! One of the main reasons I love this show so much is because of how it has always treated Sheldon's character with nuance and dignity, showing his complex layers in a deeply human and beautiful way - even while, yes, maintaining the comedic, quixotic charm of the character as well. So, the fact that they've flattened this significant event in Sheldon's life into a ba dum tss moment thrown at the end of the episode last minute is pretty shitty of them. And yet, Mary and George Cooper rekindled their marriage! I thought it was SO SO adorable how they wrote letters to one another while she and Sheldon were in Germany. That warmed my heart. Young Sheldon's thematic structure works and is reliant upon Mary and George Cooper's marriage (something I will go into more in-depth later) so George cheating on his wife just didn't make sense for this story they were telling, or even the characters they had established. So, it's fifty-fifty. I guess it was the best possible outcome given the givens, and certainly makes me happy because I prefer a reality where Sheldon grows up in a stable - albeit dysfunctional - household rather than the heavily implied even more dysfunctional, traumatic one from the TBBT canon. In most of TBBT, Sheldon certainly painted a deadbeat, failure of a father. Such as his mentioning how his father lost a job due to his stealing from the cash register, which Sheldon had been responsible for telling on his father (The Big Bang Theory 9x12 The Sales Call Sublimation) rather than in Young Sheldon, his father losing a coaching job because of his reporting rule breaking at work (Young Sheldon 1x01 Pilot). There has been some significant retconning going on here in this show, but the retconned reality is the one I prefer - so . . . what are ya gonna do? 🤷‍♀️

[angels-heap]

I mentioned this in my post but what even happened to freemance in 2020?

Hoooo boy. To make a very long, very weird story as short as possible...

Prior to the Half Life: Alyx announcement and subsequent emergence of the Half Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware (HLVRAI) fandom in 2020, freemance was by far the dominant ship in the Half Life fandom. It seemed like most active fans at least passively shipped it, the vast majority of fanworks featured it in some capacity, and people who preferred other ships or didn't like freemance just... didn't like it. They didn't act like they needed a reason.

However, after the aforementioned events led to a huge surge of new Half Life fans, freehoun (Gordon/Barney) became much more popular, practically overnight, for some combination of the following reasons:

Lots of new Half Life fans were discovering the series via HLVRAI, where frenrey (Gordon/Benrey) was/is a popular ship. Some of these new HL fans essentially transposed their preferred frenrey dynamics into freehoun fanworks, often with very little knowledge of (or interest in) the HL games and the relevant lore.

Large fandom did what large fandoms do and gravitated towards shipping the two hottest white guys, regardless of context.

Old and new fans who enjoyed ships other than freemance became more active and creative when they were no longer in a minority.

And this was fine! A little annoying at times, but had it stopped there, we wouldn't still be talking about this. Alas, around mid-2020, a couple of kids (independently, as far as I can tell) wrote "callout posts" about freemance and its shippers in an effort to justify their personal tastes... and all hell broke loose. These posts, and the many, many posts that followed, relied heavily on the following argument:

Gordon has known Alyx since she was a small child (he hasn't) and may have even been a father/uncle/brother figure to her (he wasn't), which means pursuing 24-year-old Alyx romantically would make him a pedophile (it wouldn't) because he's been "grooming" her since she was a child (despite having been in stasis for approximately 83% of her life) and is obviously imagining her as a child every time they smooch (and they think we're the weirdos?). This means freemance shippers are also pedophiles because they condone this behavior (no), and also they are anti-feminist/homophobic/racist for shipping Alyx with a white man who's actually 47 years old (Gordon is canonically 27 in HL2) instead of shipping him with a man and her with a woman or not shipping her at all (despite the fact that Alyx is canonically attracted to Gordon).

If this sounds insane to you, it's because it is. This is an Olympics-worthy reach. They 100% pulled this whole theory out of their asses. But these posts picked up traction quickly, given that a large slice of the fandom had little to no knowledge of actual Half Life canon and really wanted a reason to dunk on freemance beyond "ew boring straight ship." It was like this awful game of fandom telephone, and the wildest part was that a lot of these kids (and yes, it was mostly kids) actually believed these accusations, despite having never seen or sought out any direct evidence of them.

For the following 6 months or so, freemance shippers faced relentless harassment -- death threats, doxxing threats, accusations of child sex crimes, etc. Here's the long post I was eventually forced to make about the situation, which includes several examples. Check out my ship discourse tag for more highlights if you want to go down the rabbit hole. Things settled down a bit after the original shit-stirrers left the fandom, but the harassment continued on and off for a couple of years and it still crops up every now and then.

It makes me so sad to remember all the cool people I met in early 2020 who ultimately left the fandom due to the harassment. The overall fandom vibe was so rancid that even people who didn't ship freemance just couldn't take it anymore. I've stuck around because Half Life is an enduring fixation for me (and out of spite), but the fandom lost a lot of amazing artists and writers and I hope they're all living their best lives out there.

I don't know how to end this post on a non-cheesy note so I'll just say it feels nice to finally refer to this whole thing (mostly) in the past tense and I am excited to see new folks joining the fandom who are unburdened by the Freemance wars. Live your dreams. :)

[flanpucci]

I already talked about why I love Pucci on a logical sort of level but I didn't get in depth about what I think and feel about him as a character and why he stuck with me enough to get him permanently tattooed on my skin so I'm gonna get into it a little bit. Feel free to skip this one because it's not really analysis and delves a tiny bit into interpretation/headcanon so I guess it's more blogposting than anything.

To be honest although I really liked his design and the cool black representation he is, and Whitesnake was instantly my favorite stand, I didn't like him right away, I thought he was a little bit of a weirdo in his introduction scene with Miraschon, and it took some time for him to grow on me. His design and themes land right in the middle of stuff I've been interested in since forever (Christianity, the moon, space, technology, arts, science...) so of course I had an interest in him. I remember that I really liked the fact that even though he's a priest he's knee deep in the occult with the green baby and making Foo Fighters etc, I thought that was super interesting. It took me til the end of the part to root for him, and then when he was defeated, I realized that I wasn't as happy as I should have been lol.

I guess one of the first reasons why I was touched by Pucci on a personal level is that I felt really strongly empathic towards him, and his behavior and actions just let me feel like I caught a glimpse of his many emotions inside, even though he has a thick facade. For example, his loneliness felt very real to me. Having lost most of his family, and his dear ones by his own fault, them being taken away from him, him choosing to live a celibate life in the clergy, shutting himself in a prison for the biggest part of his life... His self inflicted suffering just saddened me a lot deep down inside. He's also got big existential dread, wondering about the greater purpose of his life from his childhood. Isn't this something that touches everyone at some point?

But not many people have their entire beliefs about their existence and identity crushed at a young age in their life. Pucci, when his brother is found out to be alive, has everything that he built himself upon, his justification for being alive, completely shattered. It then turns into tragedy, yet he seems to find a little hope and comfort with Dio, only for them to be crushed again when he dies. And then he holds on to this impossible grief for 22 whole years, unable to accept that his fate in this world is to suffer so much loss. We don't see him sad after his sister died, we don't see him cry or flinch. Living his life in this manner, he surely had to have a lot of pent up emotion, which he surely dealt with by dissociating them from himself and pushing them onto Whitesnake. But not entirely, it's a little 'see-through'. When you think of it, he's amongst the most 'perfect' characters in the series, he's superior, composed, poised, tightly upkept, articulate. He has both an advantage in status and seniority in age over almost everyone in the part. He seems to be well adjusted and respected by people working in the prison, and in the city. Yet he's also very faillible, often prone to panic, he begs for his life at multiple times. Scenes like the frog scene where he slips and messes up the prime number count because there are frogs on his expensive pants make him reek of humanity when otherwise he could easily feel 'out of reach' and inhuman because of how superior he is (like let's say, Kars is, which is a lot of his appeal though!). Same when I recently discovered his watch is worth several thousand dollars. It felt like peeking into his true self right through the wall of righteousness that he built to protect himself and further the plan. His bad sides and inclination towards cardinal sins are really fun to watch and try to notice. That's also why I don't like when people pass him off as a good person, because to me he's really not, he wouldn't be half as interesting if he was! But he's not completely evil either, and as Weather tells him, being so sure that his evil is necessary for a greater purpose is what makes it even more heart breaking to me.

On top of that, his quirks and unique traits make him both very endearing and relatable, especially if you happen to have similar ones! In my case counting has been my primary means of shutting down anxiety attacks for years now, and when I saw him do it too, I automatically felt really drawn to him. Same goes for his ramblings in the worst moments, they made him really stand out, and I felt drawn to him because of some examples he used that hit close to my interests. If you've read my other analysis maybe you know that I tend to interpret him as autistic and so this hits close to home too. In the same manner, the fact that such a cool and powerful character grew up with a canon disability (in his foot) made me feel happy as a disabled person.

There are scenes where he expresses love and devotion very directly and in a raw way, which is very rare, and was also surprising because of how indirect he usually is to make a point... His love for Dio however you wish to interpret the nature of it is deep and sincere and rooted in both despair towards his impossible situation and the hope that maybe another miracle could occur and turn things around for him. I thought the evolution of the way he talks about Dio was really interesting and it moved me to see him very attached to his dear friend. Also the scenes with Dio let us see how sweet and interested he is when he's with someone he gets along with, and how different Dio behaved towards him made me like Dio a lot more too.

When I watched Stone Ocean I had just finished The Outer Wilds and FFXIV Endwalker, and in a way these 3 pieces of media hit the same nerve in me. I was thinking a lot about the purpose of existence and the end of the universe, so I really wanted Pucci to fulfill his potential and go as far as he could, taking the entire universe with him, breaking every rule of his world and becoming bigger than the story itself. It's still how I see him and why I admire him a lot. I was very shaken by his death and the part it played in the entire series. In a sense I get the feeling that he was obsessed with destiny because he knew he was created to do something, and he was right, he was created by Araki only to suffer his horrible backstory, to have everything taken from him. But his extraordinary inability to accept it pushed him to break the wall of the story and try to subtract himself from it, while opening everyone's eyes on the cruelty of the (fictional?) world they live in, and giving humanity the possibility to be at peace with it. The first time I saw the ending, I was completely crushed by the weight Araki put on him, making his total erasure from the world the only condition for everyone's life to suddenly become better, almost perfect. I was disgusted that it was expected from me to be happy that the world was finally rid of him when it all started with an impossible to predict chain of events. Now that I look back at the ending, I think maybe I misunderstood it, and I've decided to believe that he maybe was freed from the curse that was his existence in the story, and that he took upon him many of all the 'wrong' that was in the original world, making it all right for the other characters. I hope Perla is happy in the new universe... Even though this is probably just delusional coping...

Although I feel sorry for Pucci and wish he could have solved his problems differently, I'm glad the story is sad as it is because otherwise I wouldn't have felt so deeply for him. In a sense I felt his pain so strongly that I was instantly drawn emotionally to find a way to 'solve' his situation, he's like I tormented soul that I have to appease, and that's why I pick up a pen and draw, write, or spread love and wholesomeness. That's also why I draw him peaceful or sleeping most of the time, why I bring my plushie to see nice things 😔🫶 I also get a lot of different feelings coming from Araki's way of drawing him throughout the part, and I think Pucci was a character that Araki learned to love and understand along the way too, instead of liking him from the start like he did Dio or Jolyne, but he probably was a lot to handle even for him lol.

Jojo's been one of my favorite mangas for more than 7 years now and I'm so glad Pucci was the last boss for it, embodying and carrying in him the legendary Dio without being overshadowed by such a legendary character, while giving the story and Dio's character the last missing piece of the puzzle to truly tie things up nicely. Saying goodbye to him and to Stone Ocean after watching it also meant saying goodbye to the universe that I had loved and enjoyed for many years so it was bittersweet. In any case he's the peak, the climax, the strongest and has permanently changed the course of one of the best mangas in existence with his actions, and I take a lot of pride in my taste and the fact that my favorite character is the one who did all that haha 😫

And lastly I'd like to say that even if it's not really related to Pucci as a character, this last year that I've been active in fandom, liking him as pushed me to develop my skills, I started drawing, got back into writing, went on trips cause I wanted an excuse to bring him to the Louvre, go out of my way and explore new places when I made that collection of pictures representing the 14 words, made friends, I'm going to Japan soon and I'll be bringing him with me to meet them, he has fueled my imagination and given me more inspiration than I've ever felt, and I'm forever grateful for that. It is not easy nowadays to feel very intense positive emotions, life can be stressful and tiring, so I'm thankful that liking him has given me the push I needed to start doing many new things, interest myself in the wonders of the world, go to church, explore my city, go see art, travel, feed my mind with knowledge and beauty. Heck I even listened to that Handel's CD, it was wonderful. And read an essay on prime numbers when I have math dyslexia!?

I don't know how much deeper I can get without sounding completely off my rocker so I'll leave you guys here, hope you enjoyed and feel free to tell me how you relate to your favorite characters and how much they mean to you!

Fame redraw for illustration by me~

[bloom-ribbon22]

Bloom's Dinotrux HUMAN AU infodump: D-Bros + Skrap-itt

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I know I already posted them but I still wanna put em here + front facing D-Structs(unrelated note: don't usually do front faces much, I have tried it probably two times and it either ends up looking weird or just not right but I do like how it turned out this time! hmm maybe I should do more characters front facing).

anyways, I've always wanted to infodump share some bits of lore, facts, info, and other stuff of my human AU version of the Dinotrux and I kind of started with the D-bros + Skrap-itt, why? ngl they're one of the most interesting characters to me. soooooo here you go :)

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D-Stroy:

-when D-Structs was born, D-Stroy looked at his parents while pointing at his new baby sibling and asked "mom, dad.... why does he look so ugly?"

-a very mischievous kid back then. he was the ultimate pranker. he pranks a lotta people that he almost lost count of them but his favourite pranking victim is you guessed it! ya boi D-Structs! oh poor poor young, bratty, selfish D-Structs... always having silly stuff drawn on his face when he was asleep and almost getting scared to death everytime his brother just jumpscares him...I'd list more but this is getting way too long lol.

-hair is l o n g and messy af. you can probably store/hide items in there idk.

-has a high tolerance for spicy food and also enjoys eating it.

-even as a kid, he always gets into fights and still does which results to him always receiving new scars/injuries. almost never minds it because with all honesty he doesn't really give a shit what he looks like. even though he is incredibly strong, he knows his limits and also knows he isn't invincible or indestructible so he tries his best not to overestimate his strength and avoid battles if he knows he can't win it.

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D-Structs:

-was already a selfish guy when he was a bratty little kid and a bit of a snitch too. when he was five and D-Stroy would do something to him, even something that's completely harmless like slightly nudging his arm this left D-Structs no choice but to use a move that every older sibling fears "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

-heavily dislikes the taste of sweets. can't really handle it, the taste of sugar and the feeling of it melting into his tongue is just....sickening, maybe even irritating...in fact, it's unbearable....

-similarly to D-Stroy, he often gotten to a lotta fight even as a kid and still does which ends up getting himself new scars/injuries. most of these fights are pretty much his fault as most of the time he's the one that's starting/asking for it.

-"I'd rather live my life all alone until I die" that's what he thought to himself until Skrap-itt came to his life. story between them was kinda similar to the canon. it was so hard for him to tolerate this talkative and dumb lil pipsqueak but as time goes on he kind of started to get used to his company that it feels oddly weird whenever he's alone... sometimes...after all, Skrap-itt was the only one that gives a fuck about him...

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Skrap-itt:

-short king. you can kick him like he's a football or better yet, pick him up like he's some kind of cat and maybe even put him in a box, seal it shut, and deliver it to any random person. "your order is here"

-a cat person. he understands them, he knows they're not just annoying animals always whining for food 24/7, they are loving and caring too! they're not just, y'know, not that playful...at least..most of the time...he would adopt a cat but sadly D-Structs not really a big fan of pets in his home.

-was the weird lonely kid who often gets picked on a lot and many avoided him because, again, a weirdo and thus lived a pretty lonely life. Smash-itt, Break-itt and Lloyd are often the ones picking on him which would explain why Skrap-itt is so bitter to them when he meets them again, worse part is that D-Structs, though completely unaware of their history, """hired""" them.

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that's all for now, there will be plenty more(and I may add more stuff) and of course I'll make some for Ty and the gang :) fun but not needed fact: I started to type all of this with 11 percent battery and now it's 7 percent....dang

anyways I'm coming back to school at January 3 and I'm scared af sidbdiebsisbisbsisjd-

[naviclenek0]

I'm just gonna go on a small rant about how the P5 community treats Shutaba and how it's genuinely kinda dumb in a way.

It really tires me how when anyone sees a fan who is playing or just discovering Persona 5 for the very first time and realizes the chemistry behind Futaba and Ren (Joker) and ultimately starts shipping them, gets bashed on by anyone with saying "omg they're literally brother and sister that's gross ew, Futaba is a child, nasty ass proshipper"

It happened to me, I discovered P5 not that that long ago and I tried joining fandom spaces and it was.. hell.

So I'm hoping that this could hopefully help someone and maybe stop those toxic people who literally start crying and labeling stuff with extreme terms.

First of all, Ren is NOT Sojiro's adopted son. He's more like his protégé, his student in the coffee, curry, café, womanizing (lol), ect spaces. He only "took him in" because he's the only one who said yes to taking in a guy on probation. Yes, I am not doubting the bond they have, but it's like a sensei and his student. Dazai and Atsushi from BSD basically.

And I see many many MANY people try to argument against this with parts of the games where characters mention that she's like a little sister.

Wanna know the fun part about Persona?

You get to CHOOSE if you want Futaba as your silly sister or gremlin girlfriend, OMG amazing right???

And there's even parts where you yourself can make remarks about being family and she'll just be there like: "Are you fr?? Weirdo"

I'm not here to bash on anyone who likes them as the coffee/curry sibs, it's not my cup of tea because the fact that they're so touchy and close disturbs me when thinking of them as sibs, but if you like it, go for it! It's cute tbh

But just because you see them as sibs, doesn't mean you have the right to call someone a proshipper for liking them as a couple, Futaba deserves to be with the man who saved her life and fans get to do as they please, that's the magic of having freedom and being able to CHOOSE.

Now the Futaba being a child/mentally a child part. 1. She's the same age as Yoshizawa, infact OLDER than her by a few months. Y'all ship Yoshizawa with Ren just fine. 2. Futaba is clearly autistic coded. As an adult with autism, I get told I act like a child frecuently. The infantilization of Autism is outrages and needs to stop, Futaba is incredibly smart and isn't a little baby. Have you not seen the things she says to Ann??

It now scares me to interact with the fandom because of how many times I've been attacked to the point I just gotta shut off the pc and let the anxiety flood away, I can't even make friends with ppl with the same interest, in the english P5 fandom because of that.

Good thing is that (most) of the spanish speaking Persona community is chill and knows that drama about said ship is honestly stupid.

Basically just, let people do as they please, go touch grass and if you don't like the path someone took in game, then just block or don't interact with that thing.

IRL you can't block people but online you can, so you shouldn't rage or seeth about it, especially about a game.

Saying someone is a proshipper by shipping Shutaba is like saying someone is a criminal and a violent person for playing Fortnite or that horror artists are sick and twisted people just because of their stories.

Instead, actually go after those who are problomatic like those who genuinely ship Kotone/FeMC with Ken.

[moonlunarmight]

Rude Encounter

"Hey there! My name's Gohan, I am a half-Saiyan from Earth! You've probably heard of my father, Goku!"

"Actually no I haven't" Moon replied

"Oh, ok, well my father is the famous Goku! I'm sure you've heard of him. He's a great fighter, and an amazing friend to many, and most definitely me! I look up to him a lot. I'm a half-Saiyan, and I was raised here on planet Earth, so I'm a protector of the planet, just like my dad!"

"Nope I haven't" Moon walks past the tall Saiyan Gohan

"Oh, uh, alright then... Guess I'll just be on my way. Oh! Before you go, would you mind hearing a fun fact about me?"

He gives you a friendly smile

"No" Moon was about to fly away Gohan, a bit saddened, raises his head and calls to you louder "Hey! Wait! One more thing! I'd like to tell you something! One thing!"

No Moon starts to fly away

He keeps shouting after you "Please! Hold on just a little bit longer, I have something that I think you'd find interesting! It's important, at least just listen for a moment!"

"Go tell someone else" Moon yelled back at him

"Aww, come on! Please! I'm just trying to make conversation with you!"

Gohan runs towards you, wanting to shout at you before you fly off

Moon flies away "what a weirdo" Moon thought

He shouts loud enough for you to hear "Dang it! Why do people always leave when I want to tell them something!" His head is down, seeming disappointed, he slouches down, looking sad

The next day Moon was at a coffee shop reading a book Gohan walks into the same coffee shop, he looks up and sees you reading, he recognizes you, and takes a seat at a table near you, he starts to talk to himself "Hmm, I think I've seen her somewhere before, she looks very familiar. But from where? Oh! She's that one person I tried to talk to yesterday! Maybe I should try to engage a conversation with her again." He clears his throat and stands up, walking towards you

Moon was just reading her book

"Hello there! Mind if I sit here with you?" He sits down, waiting for a response

"I actually do mind so go sit somewhere else" Moon rudely implied

"Well, that's not too nice, what'd I do to you? He says in a disappointed tone

He slowly stands up and goes to a seat at a different table. He sits there, glancing at you every now and then

Moon goes back to reading her book

"Grr... What has that girl got against me, just because I was friendly to her? Hmm, you know what? She deserves a little bit of a scare."

Gohan jumps on top of the table next to you

"Hey! Hey! Don't just continue to ignore me!" He shouts

Moon punch him and left the coffee shop

"Ow! What'd you just do that for? That hurt, you know."

Gohan got a small cut on his cheek, he looks a bit startled, but also annoyed

"Great, now I have a small cut on my face, thanks a lot!" He grumbles, putting his hand on his face, and wiping away the small amount of blood "What is her deal with me? I was just trying to be friendly..."

Moon was just walking down the street reading her book

Gohan spots you on the street, and a look of annoyance comes across his face. He approaches you, and taps you on the shoulder

"Hey! Pay attention to me, now. I need you to listen to me."

Moon Ignores him

"Hey! I'm talking to you! Listen to what I have to say!" Gohan shouts at you, trying to get your attention

"Don't just ignore me, it's rude!" He says in an irritated tone

The next day Moon was in her dorm room waiting for a new roommate that she was inform about. Gohan walks into the dorm room, he quickly recognizes Moon, and gives her a small smile "Hello again! How are you doing?" He glances around a little bit, searching for his new roommate

Moon this your new roommate Gohan Ms. Chaly said

*He turns his head to the woman that's speaking "Oh, well hello Ms. Chaly! And yes, yes, I am supposed to be the new roommate for Moon."

Gohan walks over to Moon, giving her a small smile and nodding

Yes and I should be going Ms. Chaly said while wave goodbye

Gohan waves at Ms. Chaly as she leaves

"So... Moon, it must be kind of weird to have me as your roommate, I mean, the last time we met, you hit me in the face." He smiles at her "But let all that be behind us, let's start fresh, right?" He reaches his hand out to you "I'd like to get to know you."

Moon slaps his hand away and starts to read a book

Gohan takes a step back, looking a bit taken aback by your response, his smile suddenly drops, and he seems a bit hurt by it

"Ahh... come on, why is she doing that... I tried to say sorry... I was just being nice, and this is what I get. Hmm... I really want to get to know her, though." He thinks for a moment, and the light bulb in his head goes off "Maybe... I should prove to her my intentions are good." He quickly takes off his Gi, and transforms into his Mighty Saiyan Form

Moon finally looks up *What are you doing*

"Ghaaaah!" He screams, transforming into a huge, muscular, and towering version of himself, his golden energy rising up and flowing around him "Show. You. Wrong...." He looks down at you, with an intense, serious look on his face, it looks like he's not joking around anymore

Moon goes back to reading her book A bit annoyed, he leans down to you and picks you up with his large and powerful hand "If I have to show you..." He starts to shake you, moving you up and down "... that I mean you absolutely no harm... So be it." He lets you go, and crosses his arms, looking at you with his same serious face

"Let's try this one more time... Hello. I'm your roommate, Gohan. I don't want to fight you. Can we be friends?" He extends his hand out to you again

Moon was laughing while Gohan was shaking her

Gohan lets out a small chuckle when he hears you laughing at him and how he shook you up, he's glad you found humor in it, he calms down a bit, letting all the yellow energy around him disappear, revealing his normal form "Well... if you're not afraid of me anymore, would you like to get to know each other?" He smiles at you, waiting for your response, he's happy that you're not afraid of him anymore, and he hopes you'll say yes

"Maybe" Moon says as she goes back to reading her book

"Huh? She still can't give me that 'yes' that I want to hear." Gohan thinks to himself "What's wrong with this girl? Why won't she acknowledge my friendly gesture?"

"Well... I hope that 'maybe' turns into a 'yes' one day soon." He says to you in a friendly tone "Anyway, I'm going to go get some food from the cafeteria, do you want anything?" He asks, his tone still sounding friendly

"Nope"

Gohan shrugs his shoulders, he smiles at you "Alrighty then, I'll be back later." He waves to you and leaves the room, closing the door behind him as he goes

"I hope I can one day have a good and lasting friendship with you, Moon." He says under his breath, as he walks down the hallway of the dorm

[thatndginger]

Get To Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

I was tagged by @ceph-the-ghost-writer (their post here!) for this ^.^ Thank you very very much my dear <3

apologies if any of you have been tagged in this before, I've been away for a bit, but I'll throw this out to @chauceryfairytales @theprissythumbelina @theroseempress @aalinaaaaaa @serenanymph @scribe-of-stories @scribble-dee-vee @writernopal @rosieartsie @afoolandathief

The blank question template can be found here!

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr?

My writeblr has been alive since around 2022 or something. I can’t be 100% sure because I just turned my regular blog into a writeblr one lol

What led you to create it?

Two things – I really wanted people to talk to about writing and I wanted to start taking my writing seriously. Cryptid is my favorite person in the world but he’s not a writer and doesn’t *get it*. I wanted other writers to talk to and be weird with about our stories. And having outside accountability in the form of posting about my story on my blog is exactly the kind of low-stakes drive I needed to keep writing.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

Just how supportive and nice and welcoming people are. It’s really easy to feel like you belong here. And all you have to do is be a little weirdo obsessed with your oc’s, because everyone else is doing the same thing and cheering each other on. It’s truly lovely.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I have what I call a ‘feral cat friendship style’ where it takes me a long time to warm up to someone, but once I have you will *never get me to leave*. I’ll start leaving dead mice & memes at your door, just you wait.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

I genuinely love when people are just Weird about their characters. It makes me more interested when people pop in just to say “character x would eat Weetabix with no milk for breakfast” because now I need to know what the hell is going on with that character. I don’t even care about the important facts anymore. I just want to know what weird little thoughts y’all have about your ocs.

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today?

Completely unoriginal but honestly just be yourself and have fun. There’s no point in anything if you aren’t enjoying it. Follower counts don’t matter, the number of likes or reblogs you get don’t matter. All you gotta do is start posting about your writing. If you want to make friends, the easiest way to do that is to join in on tag games or the weekly ask games writeblr plays. (tag games are also great ways to find more people to follow.)

WIP It Good

Which Works-In-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

My big writing project is Shapeshifter. It consumes all of my waking – and some of my sleeping – thoughts. But within that I’ve currently got two stories going: Into the Storm and The Runaway. Both are set in the same world and have some overlap of characters, but The Runaway takes place about 5 years after Into the Storm. It’s fun because ItS is more of a typical urban fantasy mystery/intrigue while Runaway is hardcore a romance story. Switching genres while in the same world is really fun.

How long have you been working on them?

Technically, I’ve been working on The Runaway since 2014/2015. I made one of the main characters, Dean, around then, but I didn’t do a lot with him or the world until 2019 when I ‘officially’ started the Shapeshifter project. I usually lean towards saying I started it all in 2019, unless I want to be dramatic and talk about the ‘full story’...

Do you remember what inspired/what got you started?

Ah, dammit, the full story it is. SO. Baby K was really into internet rp forums as a teen, and had just graduated to one-on-one rp. Along comes a girl who wants to make an rp about shapeshifters – humans who can turn into many types of animals – and Baby K could not be more enthused about this idea. That’s how Dean and Temperance got started, and where they remained for many many years. Eventually not-so-Baby K gets tired of the girl they’re rping with contributing absolutely nothing to the worldbuilding and strikes off on their own.

I joke that I took Temperance in the divorce. It’s okay though, that girl will never read this and if she does she can talk to my lawyer about it.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

All of it? I plastered my bedroom/office walls with Shapeshifter. I plastered my *ceiling* with Shapeshifter. I bought stickers for the laptop I’m currently typing on that remind me of Shapeshifter characters. I am deeply, deeply mentally unwell about this story.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

I’m working on an urban fantasy story about three shapeshifter friends who inadvertently become ‘fixers’ for their community when the authorities turn a blind eye.

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

I spend the majority of my life writing about three queer disasters who also happen to turn into animals sometimes, and the problems they get into that are only occasionally due to the fact that they turn into animals sometimes.

Let's Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.

Just in Into the Storm there’s: Kerr McKay, Warrick Salehrad, Jay de Lange, Carlisle Morrish, Reese Tucker, Lex Causey, Gabriel Beckham, Portia Beckham, Kanda Salae, Mayuri Salae, Aleksei Rybkin, Jaime Sheridan, Mags, Lucian Bardem, Rose MacGinnis, and Enora Nolan. For now.

Who’s the most unhinged?

Depends on what kind of unhinged you’re looking for. The fun kind? Warrick. The ‘actively harmful’ kind? Lucian Bardem.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Kerr, Jay, and Warrick. These three live in my head so much that sometimes they commentate my life. It’s not nearly as entertaining as it sounds.

Do you ever cringe at them?

*Constantly*. They are disaster people. I love them.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?

About 60%? I know where the story needs to go and what I need the characters to do, but I leave them a lot of room to decide how they want to get there.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters?

ABSOLUTELY. Ask me all the weird questions. I’m slow to answer because my life is hectic af, but I love getting questions about my idiots.

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account?

I’d say ‘vibes’ but that’s a copout answer. I don’t go off someone’s intro much besides seeing what genres they’re into and if they’ve got any glaring red flags for something I might not like. Mostly I notice new writeblr accounts because one of my mutuals is interacting with them and they seem cool. Then I do a quick scroll through their blog to check out what they do/interests they have/how they interact with others. Like I said, it’s vibes.

What makes you decide against following?

If someone is too self-absorbed – ie doesn’t interact with anyone, talks about their work like it’s the next Great Novel That Will Change The World. I don’t want to deal with that in my tumblr space.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I try? I’m not very good at remembering to look outside my little circle, especially when the burnout and anxiety are bad. Like now...

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

I’m sewing dolls based on my mutuals’ characters. They’ll have multiple outfits and tailor-made accessories. I’ve had *dreams* about some of my mutuals’ ocs. I can be just as mentally unwell about my mutuals’ characters as I am about my own.

[disturbnot]

— ALL IS VIOLENT, ALL IS BRIGHT

TIMESKIP ASH KETCHUM ; a quasi - oc. mutuals only. 21+. est. july 2013 — re-est. sept 2023 — fka ferociter. low activity / slow replies. lore / worldbuild heavy. crossover friendly / verses available ; no prior pkmn knowledge required ( this is my canon now ) reflecting all the stark contrasts between the coexisting horror and splendour of the pokémon world — broken realities, cosmic horror, a jagged deconstruction of protagonist syndrome, the absurdity of rebellion against immortality, and the indomitable power of connection.

— written and drawn ad infinitum by shan. ( 31 / any pronouns / GMT )

CARRD. COMMON KNOWLEDGE. VERSES. SPOTIFY. MUN.

BASICS

▸ hiiii. i'm shan. nice to meet you :) and if you're an old follower coming back? (kurtis conner vc) ✨ what's up, how's it going? it's very good to see you again, i hope you're doing well! ✨ ▸ nobody under the age of 21, please. i'm in my 30s, i have no business with teenagers. here's £5, go see a skibidi. ▸ no weirdos in general. or bigots or whatever. but i feel like that goes without saying these days. and please don't steal my stuff! all art on this blog is by me for the purpose of this general project and this blog only. ▸ otherwise, i like to believe i'm a pretty candid and easy-going person (well, besides the auDHD. i'm just a silly little guy); i'm not too easily bothered by things and i don't have any personal triggers, but i will always let you know if any kind of issue pops up :) ▸ general warnings apply for dark and mature content; there will probably be themes of (or at least allusions to) death, immortality, alcoholism/addiction, unreality, natural disasters, blood and violence, etc. i will tag things to the best of my ability, but if you need something specific tagged, just let me know. ▸ there will be occasional and tame nsfw here, usually on sundays. ash is nearly 40 and he looks and acts it; he's more like an oc simply sharing ash's name atp. anything zesty will be appropriately tagged and tucked under a readmore. ▸ i post ooc often but also tend to delete it afterward, so it's usually only ever temporary clutter on the dash. it's my blog anyway. i get to do the yapping. and i try not to take any of this stuff too seriously. i truly am out here just Saying Things.

INTERACTING

▸ this is a mutuals only blog; meaning i will only write and interact with mutual followers. i do tend to follow first if i find a blog i like, but if you don't want to follow back, i will usually unfollow after a couple of days to keep my dash trim! i also tend to be slow and selective with follow backs, in part because i am wary of overloading myself with too many potential ideas and friends at once; it's hard to split focus between too many people with all this golden retriever energy. ▸ i am SLOW. i work 42hrs a week, have my own place to maintain, unmedicated adhd, anemia, and a dear dad with alzheimer's i help take care of. i love rp, but it's not my be-all and end-all (despite the fact i still keep winding up here!) ▸ i am out of practice. it's been a very long time since i've been able to write prose consistently and i am a little rusty with things. your patience will sow interesting rewards, i hope. ▸ i'm usually juggling many convo threads and lose messages easily—double messaging is okay if you think i've missed something! ▸ i like others' ooc posts a lot; like a friendly nod so folks know i've seen them. if this isn't cool with you, let me know! ▸ i am very flexible when it comes to establishing crossovers and au verses! ash currently has verses for star trek, the boys, supernatural, RGG, fandomless, and other verses you can read more about here. ▸ i love shipping, but it's not the total focus of the blog; the chemistry and vibe has to be right, and ash is not always the easiest muse in the world to ship with, i will warn you in advance. still ... pspspspsps dare you to try your luck! (muses aged 25+ only!)

WISHLIST

watch this space :)c

[kdinjenzen]

kdin I know you're like chetney's #1 fan and also like laudna, but what are your thoughts on the rest of the bells hells + dorian?

Chetney is 100% my fav, and as much as I wanna say "BECAUSE HE'S A WEREWOLF", it was actually waaaaay before that when I was like "yeah, no, he's the fav for me."

I haven't seen the one-shot where he was originally introduced, so Campaign 3 was the first time I was introduced to him.

Travis just gets SO into it with Chet that it's way too fun to watch. Especially as a fellow voice actor, seeing Travis just maintain Chet's energy throughout the entire session - dropping it the least frequently of the cast - really is just something really fun to experience.

Plus Chet is just... he's a little WEIRDO but he's also super honest.

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME! I COULD BE ARMED TO THE TEETH!" "...are you armed to the teeth?" "Yes!"

First of all, hilarious and also like he's RIGHT they just kinda blindly trusted him for no reason and he's like "bruh, you guys gotta be more careful"

And also FORESHADOWING! He IS armed to the teeth... LITERALLY!

And then when his werewolf form gets revealed to the rest of the party he just:

I won't lie. There are some things that I haven't told you yet, but I'm trusting you more, and I have selfish desires. There are people that need to die, and things that need to be righted, but that's down the road.

MAN, THAT FUCKS ME UP IN A LOTTA WAYS AND I LOVE IT.

And don't even get me STARTED on when Dorian asked if Chet had friends and he replied "I do now..."

These, the constant screaming of "BALLS!", and much more are why Chet has maintained being my fav since I first was introduced to him.

THAT SAID!

Laudna and FCG were my original two favs, and we are currently up to episode 36 (paused right at the ROLL FOR INITIATIVE part before bed last night) and I am ALL KINDS of not okay about SO MUCH.

As time has gone on, I got pretty attached to them all and my "order of favorites" has shifted around.

Chet is still #1 with Laudna being #2.

Orym (accompanied by the many heartfelt moments of his portrayal by Liam) have brought him up to tie with Laudna in the #2 slot.

FCG used to be my #3, but I feel like Fearne has swapped with him. So FCG is #4 and Fearne is #3.

Imogen is #5 on my list and is a great constant for the group. The thing I really appreciate about her, especially as someone who has followed Laura's career since I was a kid and took my very first VO class EVER with her when I was 14, is the fact that she's playing really close to her natural voice for this character which - honestly - I don't hear much in a lot of the stuff Laura is cast for. It's really nice!

I feel bad saying Ashton is my #6 on the list, he's a fun character, he's got a lot of stuff going on and he's super interesting and I love his agency but he's just not a character type I tend to enjoy much. That said, I appreciate him a lot.

Additional Temporary Party Members (That I've Met) Time!:

I MISS DORIAN SO MUCH HE WAS SO GREAT!!! I love that Orym and him are keeping in touch using the stones because those little messages give me LIFE!

And I really really REALLY loved Erika Ishii as Yu/Dusk. Like Erika RULES and they are legit one of my favorite people ever and I'm blessed to have been able to chat with them as many times as I have and their energy IN GENERAL is so fucking RAD and gets me hype - so Yu/Dusk will remain a favorite forever for these reasons and many many more.