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elvenmother · 3 years

Text

Shattered: Still Absent

Pairing: Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x F Reader

Summary: Jack returns from a mission gone wrong and you discover that Statesman Distillery is really a front for something more

Rating: Currently going to put this at Mature, although that rating could go up

Warnings: mentions of injury (nothing graphic)

Chapter: 4/6

Word count: 3597 (long one this time)

Note: This has not been beta read so apologies for any mistakes. This is my first time writing a reader insert fic. This was originally going to be a one-shot but apparently I like putting Jack through an emotional mincer so this is just the first part. Also I’ve borrowed Marcus Pike and made him a Statesman agent. He’ll be fine.

Part 3 / Part 2 / Part 1

Gif by @ithinkwehitametaphor

The following week passed agonizingly slowly with no further contact from Jack. You’d thought about calling back on the number he had used; however it had been private and you were unable to return the call. You’d tried calling Ginger to get her to connect you to Jack but she’d been frustratingly vague with her reasons why she couldn’t.

“I’m so sorry.” She had said last time you spoke. “I can pass a message to him but I can’t connect you through to the medical wing.”

“Why not?” You tried to remain calm. “Please Elizabeth, I just want to talk to him.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Ginger apologised again. It was beginning to wear thin. “We have protocols for incoming calls… it’s complicated… I just… I’m so sorry, I just can’t.”

That had been the last contact with anyone from Statesman for five days. You split the week between days at work and nights at your own apartment. It had felt strange but good to get back to some normalcy. Your work colleagues had been curious about your time off but you were able to bluff about having a bug and no further probing questions were asked. Being back in the office, working on boring paperwork, was a welcome distraction if you were honest. You knew Jack was safe, physically at least, and that eventually he would return home. You just had to be patient. You could be patient.

The evenings and nights were harder to cope with, being alone in Jack’s house had become too much so you had opted to return to your own modest apartment until Jack was back properly. However your plants could only take so much watering and you were pretty sure you’d killed at least two of them. You had started working your way through your Netflix watchlist but hadn’t really been paying attention to anything you put on.

Finally on a boring Thursday night your phone vibrated with a new received message. Your heart leapt, hoping it was from Jack before settling back down again when you began to read it.

<<Are you available to meet me at J’s house tomorrow? - Rum>>

You would have to take another personal day from work but your manager was a good friend so it shouldn’t be an issue. You quickly typed your reply.

<<Sure. What time?>>

Agent Rum responded equally as promptly.

<<Great. How about 5? You still finish at 4 on Fridays? - Rum>>

Oh, he knew your work schedule? You couldn’t help but laugh at your own surprise. He was a secret agent for an intelligence agency, of course he’d found out your schedule. Your office closed early on Fridays and you’d be able to meet him without using another personal day.

<<Perfect. See you tomorrow.>>

You smiled at the thought of seeing Agent Rum again. He seemed like a kind and thoughtful man. And you spent the rest of the evening idly wondering what kind of missions he worked given his art background.

~~~~~~~~~~

Friday arrived and the day passed with little of interest happening in your office other than one of the interns bringing homemade fudge. You found yourself watching the clock, willing the day to go faster. Surely Rum wanted to meet with you to discuss Jack and any news would be welcome at this point.

Finally 4pm rolled around and you exchanged pleasantries with your co-workers about the weekends then left. Jack house was a forty minute drive from your office but traffic was not on your side today. Crawling through the traffic you kept glancing at your phone, keeping half an eye on the time and to make sure you didn’t miss a message from Rum.

It was 5:15 when you pulled up outside Jack’s house, the sky changing to a deep blue streaked with purples as the sun set. Agent Rum was waiting on the porch and stood to greet you as you parked your car and approached the house.

“I’m so sorry.” You hated being late, always preferring to be early for any appointments or meetings.

He smiled and waved his hand dismissively before offering the same hand for you to shake. “Don’t worry about it. Traffic has been crazy all day. It happens.”

“Have you been waiting long?” You shook his hand then stepped up to the front door to unlock it. The two of you stepped inside and made your way to the kitchen.

“Not really.” Rum gave a small chuckle. “I arrived just after 5. I expected to see you waiting for me.”

That made you feel a little better and you relaxed as you set your bag down at the kitchen table. Rum joined you and sat in the chair at the head of the table. You sat down to his left and took a deep expectant breath.

“Do you have an update about Jack?” You decided to cut right to the chase.

Rum nodded and smiled brightly. “Yes. Good news.” He watched as you let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll be bringing Agent- ah, Jack, home tomorrow afternoon. I wanted to come see you and talk you through some details with you before he comes home.”

“That’s fantastic!” You felt like you could cry and without thinking you stood and lent over to hug Agent Rum. It was a little awkward with him still sitting at the table but he gave a big smile and returned the hug. You pulled back after a few seconds and sat back down. “Sorry Agent Rum, but that’s the best news I’ve had since Jack left on his mission.”

“No need to apologise.” Rum was still smiling. “And please, call me Marcus.”

“Marcus.” You repeated nodding. “So, you said details?”

“Yes.” Marcus pulled out his phone and tapped a few times. Finally finding what he was looking for he tapped a couple more times and you heard your own phone ping in your pocket. “I’ve sent you the details but I’ll talk you through it now. Jack will be coming home but he’s still not fully healed. So he’ll be continuing with his treatment here at home.”

“What kind of treatment?” You shifted in your seat, concerned about Jack’s injuries. He hadn’t looked that injured when you’d seen him last. Perhaps these were internal injuries. But if that was the case surely the doctor wouldn’t be releasing him.

“I’m afraid I don’t have those details. But don’t worry. Jack will be fully briefed on what he needs to do.” Marcus reassured you. “I’m sure he’ll tell you when he gets home. All you need to do is make sure he rests, eats properly and doesn’t leave the immediate area.”

That last part caught you off guard. “Why would he leave?”

Marcus took a breath and put his phone away. He seemed to be thinking about how to word his answer. Or perhaps it was a question of how much you were allowed to know. Finally his eyes met yours again.

“One of the men responsible for torturing him escaped our agents. Champ is concerned Jack might try to go after him alone.”

“Does Jack know this man is out there?”

“Not yet.” Marcus frowned. “But Jack is one of our best, if he puts his mind to it I’m sure he could find out. So just in case we think you should try to keep him in the house. And obviously call Statesman if you need any help. In fact…”

Marcus trailed off and fished a second phone out of his pocket. Another few seconds passed with more tapping. Your phone gave another ping.

“I’ve sent you my personal number.” Marcus put the second phone away and looked up at you once more. His warm brown eyes seemed to be full of affection and worry. “I’m your liaison so if you need me at any time, day or night, call me.”

“Agent Rum-” You began but he cut you off.

“Marcus please.”

“Marcus, I… Thank you.” You were truly touched by his concern and you were suddenly filled with the desire to do something nice for him. Your stomach suddenly gave a loud growl and you blushed. “I’m starving.” You laughed. “There’s no food in but would you like to join me for some takeout?”

Marcus grinned. “I’d love to.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner with Marcus had been nice and you’d ended up talking about various different things finally settling on music and bands as the takeout arrived. After eating Marcus had thanked you for the food then left. You’d tidied up the plates and put the leftover takeout into the fridge. Looking into the empty refrigerator you made a quick list of things to grab at the store tomorrow morning.

Later as you settled down on the large sofa you pulled out your phone and started to go through the details Marcus had texted you. It was a summary of what he’d already told you, just that Jack would continue his treatment at home. You started to wonder what kind of treatment this would be when your phone buzzed in your hands.

<<Hey, it’s Marcus. Hope I’m not interrupting your evening. I just want to let you know I’ll be bringing Jack home tomorrow at 1pm.>>

It was from the personal number he had given you. You grinned at the message and typed your reply.

<<Thank you for letting me know. You’re not interrupting anything. Just trying to find something to watch on tv.>>

A few seconds passed before your phone buzzed again

<<Same. Let me know if you find anything good.>>

You laughed, and typed your reply, all thoughts of treatments leaving your head.

<<Will do. You do the same. I ended up watching a kids movie last time.>>

The rest of the evening passed with you and Marcus texting back and forth about various movies. He had excellent taste, apparently preferring older movies and named a few you hadn’t seen or heard off. Before you knew it it was late and you abandoned all thought of watching anything and instead headed off to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning you got up and did a quick once over of the house to check everything was clean and tidy. After a quick breakfast you headed into town to pick up some much needed food. You wanted to get some of Jack’s favourite snacks and stock up on the ingredients to make his favourite meals.

Strolling through the supermarket aisles your mind wandered to Jack’s care and how much he’d been relying on you. Today was Saturday but after the weekend was over Jack would probably still need you at home. You couldn’t help but start to worry about the more practical side of caring for Jack. How much time would you need to book off work? You didn’t have a lot of vacation time left and this was most likely going to use the last of it up. Of course you’d do that for Jack though, honestly you’d do anything for him. All you wanted was to help him in whatever way you could.

You hadn’t been home very long from the supermarket when you heard a key in the door. Glancing at the clock on the coffeemaker you were shocked at it was already 1:15 and you quickly put away the very last of the groceries as two figures came into the kitchen.

Turning round you were greeted with the best sight you’d seen in over two months. It was Jack. He was home. Without a second thought you took a step forward to hug him but to your dismay he took a step backwards.

“Easy honey.” He sounded tired. “I’m still a little delicate. Let me get settled.”

“Oh, of course.” Your mind went blank. Your initial happiness at his return replaced by worry. Should he be home yet?

Behind Jack Marcus stood in the doorway to the kitchen eyeing Jack carefully. Seeing you looking his way he greeted you with a smile and a nod.

“Got anything good?” He motioned to the grocery bags still on the counter.

“Yeah.” You answered while watching Jack. He had stood himself off to the side of the kitchen island and was looking around the kitchen almost as though he’d never been there before. “I thought it would be nice to get some of Jack’s favourites.”

Hearing his name Jack turned to you and smiled. You’d dreamt of seeing that smile again but there was something about it that didn’t quite feel right. His eyes lacked their usual sparkle and his shoulders were still too anxious for a man who had just returned home.

“Yeah it’s always good to have some home comforts.” Marcus continued with his small talk but you knew he was also picking up on Jack��s tension. “Must be nice to be home, Sir?”

Jack’s eyes drifted over to Marcus and you knew he hadn’t really been following the conversation. Instead of answering he just smiled politely.

“Erm, you must be tired, Sir.” Marcus gave Jack an awkward smile then turned to you. “I’ll leave the two of you to it. I think you’ve got it from here.”

“Thank you.” You started to walk with Marcus to the front door leaving Jack still standing in the kitchen like a stranger in his own home.

“Call me if you need anything.” Marcus whispered as you opened the door. You nodded and seemingly satisfied Marcus left.

Now it was just you and Jack. Heading back into the kitchen you were relieved to see that Jack had relaxed somewhat and was now sitting at the kitchen island. He lifted his head to look at you as you entered and smiled. This time it was a proper Jack smile. One that reached his eyes and made your heart sing.

“It’s good to see you darlin’.”

“It’s good to see you.” You rounded the island and carefully put a hand on his shoulder. You felt him tense slightly and you removed your hand, worried you’d hurt him.

“Sorry honey.” He reached over and took your hand. “Just sick of being poked and prodded by the docs. I’m just a little wound up is all.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand.

“Do you want to go lay down?” You asked although you wanted him to say no. You were torn between wanting him to rest and wanting him to never let go of your hand again. The feeling of his warm skin on yours was something you’d never want to be without ever again.

“I’m good right now.” Jack smiled and brought your hand up to his lips. His smile grew as the kiss elicited a sigh from you. “Maybe later. Right now I just wanna catch up with my girl.”

“All right Jack.” You slid onto the stool next to him. “Although I haven’t been up to anything interesting, just work. Boring really.”

“After days cooped up in HQ with only Doc Cater and Ginger to talk to, I just wanna talk to you.” Jack chuckled. “Talkin’ ‘bout medical stuff, now that’s boring. Tell me what you’ve doin’ honey.”

“Fair enough.” You began to laugh along with him. “I’ll make us some lunch and we can catch up.”

“Now that sounds perfect.”

Making your way over to the fridge you opened it to start fixing Jack some food when you suddenly remembered that Jack would be continuing his medical treatment at home. What if there were food he had to avoid now? What if his medication reacted with some food. You vaguely recalled reading something about some antibiotics reacting with dairy.

“Oh,” You spun to face Jack, who was watching you from the island, “I meant to ask you before. Marcus, Agent Rum, said you’d be continuing your treatment at home.” You watched as Jack’s demeanour changed suddenly. His shoulders tensed and his face looked… almost angry.

“What have you been told?” His voice was harsh, cold, not like your Jack’s at all.

“Well, nothing.” You closed the fridge slowly and cautiously approached him. “That’s why I wanted to ask. About food reactions and-”

“That’s nothing you need to worry about.” Jack cut you off. He stared at you, his eyes dark, his mouth set in a thin line. “Why you coddlin’ me? Hmm? What exactly have you been told?”

“About what?” You were baffled by this abrupt change in behaviour.

“About what?” Jack repeated your words and scowled. “‘Bout what happened to me. What do you know?”

“Champ said your mission went wrong, that you were captured and…” You watched his face trying to get a read on what was going on in his head. This conversation was feeling more and more like an interrogation than a catch up between lovers. “Champ said you were tortured. Nothing else.”

Jack seemed to relax a little and his stern, severe, expression disappeared. “Sorry darlin’.” He sighed heavily. “I just don’t want you to have been told anythin’ too terrible. An’ all I wanna do is to get back to normal.”

He was lying, you were almost sure of it. Well, not lying per se, but he was definitely not telling you everything. Something was off about his behaviour but he looked so tired you couldn’t bring yourself to push him.

“Is there anything I can do?” You didn’t know whether or not to sit. He was the man you loved but at this moment you weren’t sure you knew him at all. You didn’t know how to approach him or whether you should.

“No honey.” Jack seemed to deflate a little picking up on your hesitation, but forced a smile. “I just want to sit and catch up.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent telling Jack mundane details about how you had spent the last two months. He sat listening to you intently, asking questions about things you knew he had no real interest in. But the two of you chatted all the same, all the while you couldn’t shake the weird feeling his forced cheerfulness elicited in you.

~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening Jack went into the master bedroom en suite to shower and you locked up the house before coming in to get ready for bed. As you undressed you could hear the shower running and you carried on with your night time skin care routine. By the time you heard the shower shut off you were getting under the covers, expecting Jack to quickly join you.

However as the minutes ticked by you started to hear something else from the bathroom. Edging closer to you were startled by the noises coming through the door. They sounded like grunts and groaning, it was Jack, and he sounded like he was in pain. In a panic you knocked on the door.

“Jack? Jack? Are you ok?”

The noises stopped immediately and there was a short pause before his strained reply.

“I’m… ok. Be out soon.”

You remained by the door for a few minutes, playing with the hem of your nightdress, until eventually the door slowly opened. Jack looked a little pale and his hair was still damp from the shower. To your surprise he was wearing a pair of plaid pajamas, something he never usually did, instead preferring to sleep either in his underwear or nude.

“Jack?” You watched as he climbed quickly into bed and pulled the duvet down on your side.

“I’m all right honey.” He patted your side of the bed and you climbed in next to him. “I was just… struggling with…” He trailed off for a moment as if searching for the right word. “My medicine.” He didn’t seem to be comfortable with his choice of word but began to settle into bed all the same.

“Do you need any help with it?” You rolled onto your side facing him. “I could do it if-”

“No.” He cut in immediately. “I don’t want help with it. It’s just an… awkward spot to reach.” You watched as he blushed slightly. “Baby, I just wanna sleep.”

“Ok.” You smiled over at him. He looked exhausted and you reached over to brush his damp hair from his forehead. He tensed slightly but then began to relax against the pillow.

You sat up and turned to quickly switch the lamp off before laying back down next to Jack. Your left arm reached over and pulled him into a gentle cuddle. His reaction was instantaneous and shocking.

His entire body went rigid before he all but leapt from the bed. Startled and confused, you sat up and switched on the light again. Had you hurt him? Jack was standing next to the bed, his back to you, visibly breathing heavily.

“Jack?” You reached out for him watching as his head whipped around to stare at your hand.

“Sorry.” Jack started to relax again after a few uneasy minutes. “Sorry darlin’. I…” He ran a hand through his hair. “My back. Just a twinge. You sleep. I’m gonna do some stretches.”

Before you could answer he left the bedroom without looking back at you. He was lying. You were sure of it this time. For a few moments you considered following him and trying to get him to talk to you. Glancing over at the clock you saw it was almost 2am. Not the greatest time for what could be a heavy conversation. Admitting defeat for the time being you turned the lamp off again and settled down in bed. As you nodded off, you decided tomorrow you would learn more about Jack’s unseen injuries.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @anaaaispunk @lemonboynsp

#agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x f!reader #jack 'whiskey' daniels #kingsman: the golden circle #Fanfic #Fanfiction #my writing #Shattered

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detectivecutiepantsandhisbabyfox · 4 years

Photo

Information on how to donate and enter the raffle.

One week until the raffle launches - seems like we’ve been planning it forever at this stage!

 I’m actually more nervous this time round! I think it’s because we raised so much last time, $1300 is a lot to beat, but I think we can do it!

 This is so, so long - I’m putting it under a Read More. Apologies for the length; we wanted everything we think people might need on one post. However if you do have any questions; please feel free to message myself or @joemazzellolover on here and we’d be happy to help.

 If you entered the last raffle, then you’ll know how this works - the process is pretty much the same, bar two requirements in what you send us.  If you can’t donate, then please, please reblog this far and wide so as many people as possible see it. It will also be on The Joe Mazzello’s Mazzies FB page and on my instagram account; if you follow me there.  I want to say a special thank you to my wonderful friend @joemazzellolover - its been amazing to have someone to share this with this time round; I could not have organised this without you!  There are two charities benefiting from the raffle - these were chosen by Joe last time and will remain the same:

MEMORIAL SLOAN KETTERING HOSPITAL in New York - this hospital has a dedicated Cancer Care Centre, providing groundbreaking treatments. Please click on the link for more information.

ST. JUDE CHILDREN’S RESEARCH HOSPITAL - these hospitals specialise in cancer care and treatment for children. Their groundbreaking research is shared for free with other cancer centres. Parens whose children are treated here, never receive a bill for their child’s care. Please see link for more information.

THESE ARE THE PRIZES! customised Funko Pops of four of Joe’s characters; Eugene Sledge, Pat Murray, Tim Murphy and Gardner Langway. They have been painstakingly created by the wonderful @nywythwndblws. Check out her Etsy store for loads of amazing creations!

We will be handling no money ourselves. ALL donations must be made straight to the charity websites (donation pages are linked below.)  You must be comfortable to give us your address, and we will ship worldwide from the US. Due to current circumstances, postal services are much slower, but the prizes will be sent via registered delivery to the winners.

To enter please see details below and follow the instructions.

1. The raffle does not open until Friday August 28th @9am GMT. PLEASE DO NOT DONATE BEFORE THIS! Your donation will not count.

 2. Take a look at the information above and decide which charity (or both) you would like to donate to.

 3. Make your donation on your chosen charities website (see links below.) US $10 gives you one entry, $20 gets you two etc. You can split your donations between the two charities if you wish. Please use the hashtag letsshowjoesomeloveagain in the message/name box. (further details below.)

 4. You MUST screenshot the receipt of donation that you receive from either hospital. The one they send you via email will have both the transaction/donation number and date on it - this is the one to send us (see below) YOUR RECEIPT OF DONATION MUST HAVE A DATE ON IT for your entry to be accepted. Please submit your screenshot(s) to @detectivecutiepantsandhisbabyfox or @joemazzellolover on here, or you can email them to [email protected]

 5. You cannot be entered into the raffle unless you send the screenshot to either one of us, along with your blog name/email. If you donate to both charities then we need screenshots of both receipts. You will then receive a confirmation we have received your screenshots and confirm your entries.

 6. If you don’t wish to be entered into the raffle but would still like to donate under this fundraiser, then please do send your screenshot so we can keep an eye on the donation totals.

 7. If you wish to send a message with your donation screenshot explaining why you are a fan of Joe or how you became a fan - we will collate these and send them to him once the raffle is finished. I did something similar last time and he was very appreciative.) THIS IS OPTIONAL AND DOESN’T AFFECT YOUR ENTRY IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO DO IT.

 8. The raffle will run for three weeks. Finishing on Joe’ s Birthday - Monday 21st September @6pm GMT (1pm EST, 10am PST)

 9. The winner will be chosen randomly by a name generator on Monday 21st September @ 9pm GMT (4pm EST, 1pm PST)

 10. As each winner is chosen, a separate random name generator will choose the Funko Pop they have won.

 11. The winners will be notified either on here, or via email (whichever way you sent your screenshot) by 11pm GMT on Monday 21st September.

THE CHARITIES:

1.Donate to Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital HERE

Choose the amount you’d like to donate (minimum US $10) and tick the box “make this an honor or memorial gift.” Choose gift type “In honor of” from the drop down menu, and under “Honoree name” enter Joe Mazzello & use the tag letsshowjoesomeloveagain. You don’t need to fill in the gift notification - Joe will be sent a notification from the hospital once the raffle is finished. Fill in the details & send us a screenshot of the receipt you receive from MSK. Example below:

2. Donate to St. Jude Children’s Hospital HERE

Process is similar to above. Choose amount to donate and tick “Dedicate my donation.” Then from the drop down menu choose “in honor of” and under “first name” add Joe Mazzello and then in “last name” add the tag letsshowjoesomeloveagain. Don’t forget to click “I prefer not to send a notification” and then add payment details. Please then send a screenshot of the receipt you receive via email from St.Jude Hospital. The one that generates on their web page does not have a date on it and cannot be accepted. They will email you something like the one below - please send us that one.

  Phew, okay I THINK that is it. Sorry for the information overload!  If you have any other questions, please message myself or @joemazzellolover on here. Thank you to anyone who reblog this and to all who donate. REMEMBER PLEASE DO NOT DONATE UNTIL FRIDAY AUGUST 28TH @ 9AM GMT!! Let’s show Joe how much he means to us by raising as much as we can. You could win one of these unique prizes for just a $10 donation!!

#Joe mazzello #jmcharityraffle #lets show Joe some love again #please reblog #get the word out

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tuckerm88 · 4 years

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Mid-Millennium Inception : Chapter 1

Charlotte, NC USA October 2, 2019

“Mom…. Mawmaw…… I’ll be fine,” you say while unloading the car. Your eyes roll in the back of your head, the slightest annoyance hidden in your voice, while a caring smirk forms on your face.

You, a short slightly thick brunette, rolls her luggage into the airport. Wearing your favorite worn black low top converses, black Adidas track pants, oversized light purple hoodie and black baseball cap that says coffee. Right before parting ways, your mom starts to cry. Your grandmother, one of the strongest people you know, looks at you with glassy eyes but not a tear drops, at least not in front of you.

“Guys, why are you looking at me like that? Do you want me to stay here forever with you?” you laugh while you hug your mom first. “No and yes,” she chuckles, “I know, I’m just going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too. Both of you. But I’ve put this off too long.”

“I know, just be careful. Okay!! You’re my only baby,” You look at your grandmother now, instead of tears you see exasperation in her eyes towards her only daughter being dramatic.

After your last farewells, you head to your gate to wait for boarding…

. . . . . . . . . . .

Seoul, South Korea

Twenty two hours later and with the worst sinus headache ever, you’re finally off the plane. After collecting your luggage, you head to the exit to meet the driver. The airport isn’t that crowded today, thank god. As you come out, you see your name on a piece of cardboard and wave at the driver. “Hello” you both greet each other.

This is your first time out of the country. You know the language from self-studying, but that’s it. You know no one here….. AT ALL!! But that doesn’t scare you as much as never leaving your small town. Finally, after years of slaving and being patient, you are in Korea. There’s been some bumps in the road, but that never stopped you. You started to become interested in Korean food when you worked at a Japanese/Korean fusion restaurant. You found a company, in Korea, who’s willing to take you in and teach you.

You’re heading to Gangnam, to the restaurant and where you’ll be staying. Dropped off in front of Kim’s Village, an eight story tall apartment building, you meet an assiduous looking man. He looks to be in his forties. “Hello, Genevieve Ainsley, correct? I’m Mr. Lee,” he bows.

“Yes sir. Hello Mr. Lee, it’s nice to meet you. You can call me Eve though for short,” you smile.

“Of course. I’m here to help you get settled into your new place and answer any questions you may have and also make sure all paperwork gets handled correctly. So let me help you with your luggage and head up.” He grabs the two large suitcases, rolling them around and heads inside after pressing the code. As Eve walks in with her carry-on and back-pack, she looks around the start of a small corridor that leads through the other side of the building. There is the first floor of apartments, which is about 6 in total it seems, mailboxes and 2 sets of stairs, one on each side of the building.

Mr. Lee lifts the two suitcases up to take up the stairs. “Oh,.. Mr. Lee, wait! What floor are we going to? Give me one of those or at least let me help,” Eve pleads as she goes to grab one of the cases. But he’s already going up the stairs, carrying them like they weigh nothing and not full of clothes and small kitchenware.

“We are heading to the 8th floor. There is only one apartment available right now for you to be housed in,” he explains, no strain in his voice as he carries over a hundred pounds up the staircase. You stand there gawking for a second.

At the top, you’re huffing a little. You’re not fat per say, curvy with some small love handles, but you aren’t that fit either. Maybe I should start working out, you think to yourself, while Mr. Lee is standing there with not even a drop of sweat or alteration in his breathing. Damn he’s fitter than I thought he’d be. I need to figure out his routine.

There’s a door right in front of the stairway with the number 802 on it. With the way Mr. Lee is standing in front of it, Eve assumes it’s her new place. He starts to open the door, but gets a call and answers it first. “Yes Mr. Kim,” he answers. . Kim Kwanjoon, CEO of KJ Inc., owns multiple buildings and businesses in almost every industry, including the restaurant that you’ll be working at. They talk for a few minutes and hang up.

“Mrs. Ainsley,” he voices, while opening the door to the apartment, “there seems to be a problem at the restaurant. As you know the chef isn’t back until Monday, which is when you are supposed to start. But our sous chef called in just now. So we actually need you to come in tonight. We seem to be short staffed. Is that a problem for you?” He takes his shoes off at the entry.

“Of course not. I’ll try to help as much as I can,” slightly exasperated. Hopefully he didn’t hear that.

“I’ll let them know. I can’t stay now, because I need to go to the restaurant. Can you be there in the next 2 hours? The restaurant is only two blocks away from this apartment, so it’ll not take long to get there.”

“Yes sir, I can do that.” He brings your luggage into the living room and hands you a packet of information.

“I apologize I can’t go over this with you right now. I’ll come back tomorrow to explain more. The first page is things you will need today,” he opens it to show you quickly, “If you’ve any questions call me, my card with my number is at the top. Do you have a cell phone?”

“Yes, I got a temporary at the airport, until I receive my registration card.”

“I’m impressed. Most foreigners don’t think of those things when they come to work here,” looking at his watch. “Be there by 4pm, the front door and I’ll let you in.”

“Yes sir”

“Goodbye Mrs. Ainsley. I’ll see you a couple hours.”

“Goodbye Mr. Lee”

You stand in the living room, staring at the door for a few minutes. Dazed with what’s happening. OMG!?! I thought I’d have time to rest and unpack today and this weekend. My head is still killing me, I slept like 2 hours on the plane. What am I going to do? You look at your phone and see its 2:23 and then start to move. You roll your largest suitcase down the short hall to the bedroom at the end. No time to really look around, you get the things you need out and pop 2 pills for your headache. And then head back to the bathroom.

After a steaming hot 30 min shower, to hopefully get rid of your headache and get the 24 hours of plane grime off of you, you get ready for work. Black non-slip kitchen Vanes with white soles, light gray cargo chef jogger pants, black tank top with a dark purple chef jacket (Eve’s favorite) over top, hair parted on the right with tapered side bangs in a tight bun in the back. With minimal makeup applied, you double, triple check you have everything. Grab a light jacket and walk out the door at 3:30 with knife kit in hand.

You’re standing at the front already when Mr. Lee walks up. “Early. Great.” You bow to greet him. He takes you straight to the kitchen, since it's Friday afternoon. The décor of the restaurant is very upscale café style with a Korean architectural influence to it. There are three floors to it, the top floor being outside seating. With no time to really chat, he shows you around. The kitchen is very well organized and clean. With the dish pit to your right and the start of the server station to your left, the kitchen has a U shape to it, with in and out doors for the servers. If you keep walking straight from the IN door, you will have the dish pit along the right wall with the clean dishes at the end, then storage and the back exit. To the left is the space for servers to walk and grab food to go out the other side and the hot line. On the left wall, on the other side of the OUT door, is the cold station.

Everyone is getting ready for the busy Friday night. He takes you to the first station you will be working at, the hot station. Being familiar with grills and stove, he put you there first to observe and help. “Hello, I’m Youngjae,” a new face gushed.

“I’m Eve. It’s nice to meet you,” you reply. He goes over the station with you and some of the dishes. After a while, orders start to come. You watch for a little, but then Youngjae starts to get overwhelmed. Your instincts kick in, just by watching him you’ve picked most of the dishes. You start to help him out.

When it comes to cooking and creating dishes, you could say you’re otherworldly. It’s like magic comes out of your hands. You picked up on cooking quickly in school and in the industry. You remember everything that you’ve learned, like the back of your hand. But you still don’t consider yourself that great. You’ve had limited chances to explore different foods, so you don’t consider your skills impeccable.

Youngjae is impressed though, “Wow, Eve. You catch on quick. How long have you been cooking?”

“I’ve been cooking for about 10 years.”

“Seriously. You are only a cook. Shouldn’t you be a chef?”

“I was a sous chef back home but I want to be a master chef. So I need to learn different cuisines and I wanted to travel, so here I am,” you beam shyly towards him.

“You must have started young. You look younger than me.” He laughs.

And there it is, your first insecurity. You don’t look it, but you’re 30 years old. Everyone usually thinks you’re anywhere between 22 and 26. But you keep your mouth shut. You started late on your dream, not realizing it until you were already in college for 3 years. You had to start over pretty much and go to culinary school for another 3 years. During all that, you worked 2 jobs and also helped support your family. While in college your dad became a drunk and quit his job, killing himself slowly. You knew why, but also couldn’t accept why he was doing this. Especially since he taught you to be stronger than that. Why couldn’t he? Finely he did die. You were sad, of course. You were a daddy’s girl until he changed. But you were also relieved. Because you felt it was holding you back. You couldn’t leave your mom and mawmaw to deal with him. So after a few years, you finally stabilized the financial situation with your mom and yourself, almost going into extreme debt because of your dad (and yourself trying to cope with all of it – online shopping).

Now here you are. Living the dream you never gave up on. Pushing the little insecurity down, you and Youngjae keep talking when able. Finding out he’s like third in command, the Lead Line Cook. He is 26, blonde hair, blue eyes with the help of contacts and a head taller than you, with a lanky build. While talking to one of the dishwashers comes along to put clean dishes away and take dirty ones to the pit. He comes up to talk to Youngjae.

“Hey man, what’s up? Who’s the new girl?” The dark chestnut haired boy says. He looks young with his dark brown doe eyes with flakes of gold, bright with curiosity. With his bunny smile, his cheeks bunched up and out to make cute crinkles at the sides of his eyes. He looks even younger and innocent now.

“Oh!!! Hello, I’m Genevieve, but you can call me Eve.”

“Cool, I’m Jungkook.”

They go through normal pleasantries. Jungkook is 22 and wants to work in the restaurant industry. He is starting as a dishwasher and working his way up.

The night finally ends and cleaning is almost over. You and Jungkook have become fast friends in just one day. All the boys in the kitchen have come to like you. They even ask if you want to come out for drinks that night. You would love to, but you are just too exhausted. They understand and say maybe next time.

Everyone grabs their things and heads out the door. You start walking towards your new apartment. The guys head the same direction and talk with you on the way. Jungkook waits a little to make sure you get into the building before following the rest.

You get inside, shower and finally relax in the bed. You thought this was going to be a bad day, but actually turned out decent.

. . . . . . . . . . .

On top of Building 63, with the lit city underneath. He stands on the edge looking out at the beautiful place that has grown so much.

“Hello, Hyung. I was wondering when you would show up.” Taemin spouts.

“When did you finally get back?” Kia asks.

“I just returned today. I figured it was time to come back and stay this time.”

“Father will be happy to hear that.”

“I’m sure he will.” Taemin says with indifference in his voice.

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crew-19 · 4 years

Text

Week 40

Hey hey guys, Leya here. So this week was filming week and booooy was it a hectic one. Let me just say here: always have a backup plan for your backup plan, because you just NEVER know. As my mom says to me all the time “better be safe than sorry”.

Anyways... We decided we would divide up the filming into two separate days, to make sure we’d have enough time to get all of our shots.

WEDNESDAY

The first day of filming had finally come. We were all very excited and nervous. We all met an hour before WG to get the actors ready and discuss final comments. For our film, we put a lot of importance into costume design because we wanted to really assert how badass our protagonists are. Tarantino often puts glasses on his characters so we decided to do the same and then base off the rest of their look from that. So for example Bella (aka Leya aka me) had red glasses so my eye shadow was red, my lipstick was glossy, and I was the killer so we really liked that hidden significance behind the red. Then Luna (aka Gabi) had sort of transparent/blue hue and gold glasses so we put blue makeup on her and a transparent gloss to make her look more angelic. We were both very matching but also very opposite which I loved because we’re both partners but at the same time there is constant tension between us.

LOCATION 1: GARAGE

Our first location was the parking garage in Foodhallen. We’re all set up and ready to shoot. We only had to do one or two shots to establish that we we’re underground (and therefore needed to take an elevator to get up to the bar!) so it was supposed to be quick and easy. This is when we encountered our first problem: the microphone wasn’t working. I totally wasn’t freaking out.

We quickly noticed the light of the mic was not working so we thought maybe we need to change the batteries. Manon quickly ran to a store to get some and it ended up working. Challenge one: completed.

The shots looked great I was really happy. Since I was also acting, I was worried that it would be difficult to direct at the same time but it was actually never a problem. Kaja (the camera operator) and I work really great together and I could really trust her to always make sure everything was on point. Without this team work I wouldn’t have been able to manage as well.

LOCATION 2: ELEVATOR

We then moved on to our next location (at this point it was already almost 4pm so we were a little bit stressed). I have a friend who lives near Lelylaan and was willing to let us film in her elevator.

We arrive on set and the set designer Jianah with the help of Manon and Josh had printed papers to mimic wallpaper in order to cover up the mirror in the elevator since that would have been a major issue (or even impossible) to film and not see the camera. Unfortunately this is when challenge two came along. She only printed 20 papers which ended up being far too little to cover up the elevator because it was bigger than anticipated. We came up with the solution of using white paper as a border and the print in the middle. Challenge two: completed. This was really hard for me to come around on because I can be a perfectionist and I felt as though it looked pretty bad and I was worried it would ruin the shot. Luckily with Kaja we worked on trying to mask it as much as possible and I think with editing in post-production with Josh we will manage to make it look good.

These shots took longer than expected to film but in the end we managed to get everything done. It was a really long day and we were all quite exhausted. We finished around 8-9pm. I said to them jokingly “anyone reconsidering their future career in film?” If I am being honest, yeah it’s tiring but it’s also so so fun and I absolutely love doing this film.

FRIDAY

On Friday we were shooting the bar scene. After much struggle to find a location we ended up being able to shoot at Josh’s work: Dapper Bar. We met at Gabi’s house to prep the actors. While we were on our way there, Kaja and Josh (camera and sound) were already there prepping, we get a call: the SD card is not working (and we had all of our previous files on them!!!). I was super stressed out. We tried finding solutions but we ultimately decided to go see Pieter (the guy who takes care of the equipment) to see what was wrong. Turns out Josh coincidentally had a different SD card in his pocket and had put the wrong one in. *abort crisis* challenge three: completed.

So now we’re all set up, ready to roll, when Josh’s manager comes to tell him that the boss changed his mind, he doesn’t want us to be there, and that we have to leave now.

MAJOR CRISIS MODE ACTIVATED.

Yeah so, at this point, I was so freaked out I was actually really calm. I just didn’t know what to do. We were so devastated. We had to find a solution right then and there, and with the new COVID measures, it was going to be impossible to find a place. We all start thinking of people we know, who can we call? Where do we go? Do we change the script? Do we go on a terrace? At a park? But then what about the elevator scenes we already filmed? What about the scenes at the bar of the drinks being made? So do we switch out a gin and tonic for a fucking cappuccino? That sounds boring. All I could think is that there was no way we could remove the bar without making our film look super boring (with the only few hours that we had).

So I tell Kaja and Josh: “Listen guys, at this point we’re hopeless and it’s probably not going to work, but we should still give it a try: there’s the bar at OMHP, since it’s inside the university maybe they’d be willing to let us work there since we’re UvA students.” So they head there to ask the guy and guess what? He said YES. CHALLENGE 4: COMPLETED.

LOCATION THREE: BAR

This man, let me just tell you, was an angel sent down from heaven to us. I mean we have never met someone as nice as him. He was our knight in shining armour ready to save the day. Without him, this film would’ve failed. He saved our project and we are very grateful to him.

Anyways so back to filming. He let us use the whole entire bar. Because of COVID, there weren’t many customers who came around unfortunately. I mean he basically shut down for the day so that we could film.

(PS. We also didn’t know that anyone from the UvA could go, even students! I always thought it was for faculty so if anyone is reading this please head over there to get a coffee or chill because it is so cozy).

We started with the scenes of the bartender making a drink (that roughly took an hour in total with setting up and filming). Then we did the scenes with Mr. Verbinsky where we asked this lovely man to cameo in our film because he was so enthusiastic to help us out and participate we thought it was the best way to tribute him. That also took about an hour. The bar was on two floors so we actually played around with that and him bringing the briefcase.

This was also really fun for me because those shots didn’t involve me so I was able to fully direct them.

Finally we filmed the scenes of Bella and Luna waiting at the bar for the briefcase and opening it, that took about 1h30. In the end we finished by 17:30 with only one last scene to film: the burger reveal.

LOCATION 4: CANAL

While we took a short break and location scouted for a nice bench on a canal near OMHP, Jianah headed over to Burger King to fetch a fresh juicy burger and crispy onion rings. Shooting this scene was relatively straight forward, we only had about 5 shots to take in total. In the end we ended around 19:00.

AND THAT’S A WRAP.

Overall, this process was definitely quite stressful for our group, we encountered a lot of issues such as not being able to film at that location last minute. However, we all worked so well together and found a solution for every issue. I’m so so proud of what we did and how we managed, it proves to say that we did truly make it work. Can’t wait to start the edit :)

- Leya

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noona-clock · 5 years

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DaySense: Winter ❄️

A Day6 collab series with the lovely @cramelot 💋

Genre: College & Soulmate!AU

Pairing: Brian x You

By Admin B

Part 1, 2

Since the Halloween party had been a success, Brian had been thinking of other ways to get Day6 out there. Other ways they could showcase their music, try out the new songs they were writing, attract a new audience.

They couldn’t just keep doing coffee shop gigs and uploading band practice videos on YouTube.

I mean, they could and they would, but they shouldn’t keep doing only that.

An idea didn’t come to him until almost mid-January, though, after the crazy hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

Plus, both Jae and Sungjin had been a little less occupied with the band and a little more occupied with their new(ish) girlfriends.

Although... it was safe to say they were more than that.

It hadn’t been a coincidence that Jae had suddenly started seeing in color when he met the girl he was now madly in love with (and, in turn, black and white had been added to her own vision color spectrum, so to deny the fact they were soulmates would just be silly!).

And Sungjin’s absolute adoration for anything his own girlfriend/soulmate cooked or baked... I mean, honestly, it wasn’t a sure sign they were soulmates because the guy had always loved food. But he (and his girlfriend) both insisted the food the other one made was just better than normal, so Brian took his word for it.

He was happy for both of them, truly. Jae and Sungjin were two of his best friends, and he wanted nothing more than for them to be happy. (False: he wanted nothing more than to annoy the crap out of them, but in a loving way, but we don’t have to count that.)

...He would be lying just a little if he said it wasn’t just a tiny bit annoying that their main focus was no longer 100% on the band, though. Many times in the past several months, he’d asked for input on lyrics or melodies or ideas for performances, but they had been too distracted with their love lives to be of any actual help.

I mean, except for the fact Jae had contributed some really nice lyrics for a love song. Brian had almost 100% decided on calling the song ‘Hi Hello’ but he still wasn’t ready to make a decision; it was about meeting someone for the first time and suddenly not being strangers anymore.

Jae, obviously, had some quite recent experience with that. Brian, on the other hand, was writing from his imagination.

Maybe that’s why he felt the song wasn’t ready just yet...

But, anyway. Back to the idea he had in mid-January.

“What if we just set up our instruments outside and do a set?” he asked the guys during one of their rare dinners together at the house.

These days, either Sungjin, Jae, or both usually ate with their lady loves. (Sungjin, most definitely, preferred to, but that was understandable.)

“...Sing outside?” Jae asked with one raised brow. “It’s January. It’s freezing.”

“Yeah, but it’s unexpected. And you know nobody else will be doing it,” Brian pointed out.

“Nobody’s going to want to stop and listen because they’ll be too cold. Or too busy, on their way to class,” Sungjin countered in-between bites.

Brian was about to retort with a semi-snarky remark about nobody else coming up with any other ideas, but Wonpil spoke before he had the chance.

“I’m down,” he stated, lifting his shoulders into a small shrug. “I think it’ll be fun.”

“Yeah,” Dowoon agreed. “Something we’ve never done before.”

“We can only play a few songs if you’re that worried about freezing to death,” Brian smirked.

“Yo, shut up, dude,” Jae tsked, trying to hide an embarrassed blush.

“When were you thinking?” Sungjin asked.

“Can we do it this weekend?” Wonpil pleaded, letting it be known with his slightly whiny tone that he had quickly adopted the idea and was now desperate to do it.

“No one’s on campus during the weekend.” Jae rolled his eyes before reaching out and thwapping the back of Wonpil’s head.

“Friday, then,” Brian suggested as Wonpil reached around to nurse his stinging cranium.

Sungjin opened his mouth to say something, and Brian just knew he was going to say he had plans with his girlfriend on Friday. He threw his friend a Look, though, and Sungjin’s mouth quickly formed into a forced smile.

“Friday afternoon works for me,” Sungjin said instead. “My last class ends at 3.”

Everyone else confirmed they were done with classes either before or around then, so they decided to meet at the house at 3:30 and set up on the North Quad around 4pm.

As Brian and Dowoon began cleaning up after dinner, Brian had to admit that he felt... he didn’t want to say ‘uplifted’ because that made it seem like he was discouraged or depressed about his current situation.

And he wasn’t at all!

But, still. He felt like things were back to the old days as far as the band went. Except not really because they really had come so far in turning things around since Battle of the Bands over six months ago. But you know what I mean!

“All right, Friday at 3:30, yeah?” Jae asked as he grabbed a coat from the hall closet.

“Friday at 3:30,” Brian confirmed. He carefully handed a freshly washed dish to Dowoon who dried it off with a towel and set it in the dish drain.

“Friday, 3:30,” Jae repeated, sliding his coat on and reaching for his keys on the key hook.

“Wait, where are you going?” Brian asked, his brow furrowed. “We should probably start rehearsing for that.”

“I’ve got studying, bro,” Jae told him.

Brian pursed his lips in slight annoyance. “Jae, the semester just started. There’s no way you already have an exam.”

Jae paused for a few moments... and then he rolled his eyes in a sort of guilty way. “Okay, fine, I’m going to study my girlfriend’s face. Sue me. We can rehearse tomorrow!”

Brian opened his mouth to issue a rebuttal, but Jae had hurried to the door and fled before he had the chance.

Sungjin, who was standing behind a chair at the kitchen table, began drumming his fingers on the seatback. His facial expression was that of someone who was trying to be cool and casual but also trying to be obvious. He might as well have been whistling a suspiciously jaunty tune.

With a soft sigh, Brian shifted his gaze from the plate he was scrubbing over to his slightly older friend.

“Go ahead, then,” he murmured. “We’re rehearsing tomorrow. Go have some dessert with your soulmate.”

A smile split Sungjin’s face, and he rushed to grab his own coat from the closet in the hallway.

“See you guys!” he called out as he dashed toward the door.

As Brian and Dowoon continued to do the dishes, Wonpil leaned against the kitchen counter, resting his elbow on the granite surface and setting his chin in his palm. A dramatically mournful sigh escaped his lips, and he waited until Brian looked over at him to voice his thoughts.

“When are we going to find our soulmates?” he asked pitifully.

Brian let a tiny smirk tug at his lips, and he shook his head. “The whole point is that we don’t know,” he reminded the sweet but sometimes naive keyboard player.

Wonpil pouted slightly and let out yet another sigh. “Yeah, I know. But still. Aren’t you lonely?”

Brian shrugged as he handed Dowoon a clean glass to dry. “Not really. I’m focused on our music. That keeps me company plenty.”

He just wished all of his bandmates were the same way...

By the time Friday afternoon rolled around, the guys had managed to get in a few rehearsals - at least, enough to be fully prepared to perform four songs out in the most crowded area of campus in near-freezing temperatures.

As agreed, they all met up at the house at 3:30 and began to gather up their instruments in both Jae’s and Sungjin’s cars. The two guitarists took their acoustics, Wonpil lugged his keyboard, Dowoon brought along the wooden box he used in lieu of actual drums, and Brian simply brought all the microphones.

Brian didn’t own an acoustic version of a bass guitar, so whenever they decided to perform a song scaled-down and raw, he simply used his voice as his instrument.

Sungjin led the way with Dowoon and Wonpil in his car, Jae following up with Brian in the passenger seat.

“How’s that song going?” Jae asked as he turned onto the main road toward North campus.

“Which song?” Brian murmured absently. He was already getting into the performance zone, and his mind was on the four songs they would be singing.

“The one you’ve been working on for a while. About the moment you stop being strangers with someone?”

“Oh, yeah, that one. I...” Brian inhaled sharply, quizzically. “I don’t know. I just can’t seem to finish it. It doesn’t seem quite right yet.”

Jae scoffed and glanced over at Brian with an overly offended expression. “Dude, I helped with some of those lyrics. What do you mean it doesn’t seem quite right?!”

Brian smirked a little, letting out a soft ‘you’re something else, Jae’ chuckle. “It’s not your part I’m having trouble with. It’s mine.”

“That’s because you haven’t met anyone lately.” Jae briefly took one hand off the steering wheel and reached over to nudge Brian’s shoulder. “You need to get out more. Sungjin and I have met our soulmates...”

“Not because you were looking for them,” Brian pointed out. “Besides, you know I don’t need to write lyrics from experience. Let me just sit on that song for a while longer. Something will come to me.”

“All right,” Jae sighed. “Whatever you say.”

They drove the rest of the way in silence, arriving by the quad only five minutes later. Jae parked next to Sungjin, and all of them began unloading instruments and sound equipment.

The frigid air spurred them on to set things up more quickly than they usually did, and it wasn’t even 4 o’clock when Wonpil stepped up to his keyboard and began to play the opening notes of the first song they’d chosen to perform.

Jae had barely sung one line before people walking by noticeably slowed their steps. Of course, Jae and Sungjin’s girlfriends were already there forming a two-person audience, but it had grown to a substantial handful of people by the time they got to the first chorus.

As Brian began to sing his part of the bridge, he noticed someone coming to stand next to Jae’s girlfriend at the very front. Instinctively, his eyes locked with yours, and...

Why were you staring at him like that?

And why was there something so familiar about you?

He had definitely never seen you before (trust me, he would have recognized your face), but he just had a very eerie feeling that he already knew you?

For some reason, he figured you would leave after the first song.

But you were still there as they sang the second... the third... the fourth and final song.

And you still had that look on your face. Come to think of it, you looked kind of how Brian felt. You were gazing at him with a clear question in your eyes: Do I know you?

As the crowd applauded and cheered after they finished the fourth song, Brian heard Sungjin explaining who they were and why they were out here singing in the freezing cold. He asked everyone to introduce themselves, and after Brian greeted everyone with a smile and a wave, he set his microphone down and stood.

There was no way he was going to let another minute go by without talking to you. He had to figure out why you seemed so familiar.

Your eyes widened slightly as he headed toward you, and Brian tried his best to look friendly rather than seriously curious. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you away.

“Hi...” Brian said a bit cautiously once he was close enough to you. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but notice...”

He tilted his head slightly as your eyes gazed up into his, your eyebrows raised and wrinkling your forehead. It was just so weird that he had absolutely no idea who you were, but still had the unquestionable urge to ask:

“Have we met before?”

Part 2

351 notes · View notes

veridium · 4 years

Text

playing god

merry christmas and happy holidays to all! to celebrate, here’s a chapter of day & age! and in the spirit of the season, it’s (mostly) fluffy and sweet. you know I can never just deal out 100% sugar.

anyways, on with the show! CHAPTER 40 HOLY SHIT!

last chapter // masterpost

It’s cold.

It’s cold, and it’s 7pm on a Friday night, and...it’s cold. The bars downtown have yet to get lively. While Greek Row has been pumping music out since 4pm, they won’t get the cops called until much later. None of this matters currently; what does are two things: midterms, and finding out if Cassandra is still alive.

As the week progresses, Cass becomes harder to contact and even harder to see around. Olivia can understand the need to be reclusive -- she is, after all, Queen of her dorm cave when it comes to Finals. But as the weekend nears, Olivia goes through classes trying not to panic like a lovestruck guppy fish. It takes bumping into Ellinor, who helpfully tells her that the “final match” actually refers to the one they’re playing next week, and not some far-away and obscure phenomenon. Only then does it all make sense.

“You’re a dumbass,” Ellinor laughed when she realized Olivia had no clue.

“I am...oh God, I am,” she said through her hands.

But that was a hours ago. Now is now, and she’s walking with her bag and three layers of sweaters and a jacket down to the practice field. As she gets closer she glances at the parking lot on the other side to see the gleam a couple cars still parked. The lights are blaring over the green turf, and as she rounds the long aisle of bleachers, she sees one person is still using them.

On the far side, Cassandra, dressed in shorts and a long-sleeve under-armor shirt beneath a jersey tank, is pacing. Just ahead of her are three balls equally spaced apart, likely meant for the huge net thing. Goal? It was a goal. Damn, if midterms and upcoming finals weren’t swamping her brain, she would sit down and learn all this once and for all. Walking through the gate, she starts going through all the facts she does recall from all their conversations:

1). The net thing is a “goal.”

2). The ball really hurts when it hits you.

3). Cassandra looks really hot when she’s working out and I am too bisexual for public exposure.

Okay, the third fact was more of a habitual lapse in sense as Cassandra puts her hands to her hips and turns around. She locks eyes with her immediately, as if she has a sixth sense for intruders and this, this is her field. Her domain. Her plane of complete and utter control.

Olivia slows down and smiles, no matter the distance between them, she it travels. When Cassandra grins, her wish comes true.

“What on earth are you doing here?” Cassandra calls out.

Olivia quickens her pace, her backpack slipping down from her shoulder into her hand. When she huffs air out her mouth it turns into a huge plume of steam that cakes her face. Not until she’s about 3-4 yards away does she answer.

“I needed a new study space. The coffee shop was getting too crowded.”

Cassandra’s brow furrows with skepticism. Her breath steams the air, too, as she crosses a white chalk line in the grass. “Really?”

“Yeah. And the library, forget it,” she shakes her head. “Couldn’t find a spot unless it involves sitting on a guy named Ben.”

“No mere mortal named Ben deserves that honor.”

Butterflies, and Olivia looks away toward the balls and the net behind her. “I mean...yeah. Probably. But…”

“You know there’s no plug-ins here?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Cassandra starts slowly walking again, closer and closer. “And no baristas to give you an extra shot of espresso.”

“Didn’t think so.”

Closer, and closer still. “And the wifi has to be shit.”

“...Oh, fuck.” Her smile wanes. “That’s...that’s true...shit, I--”

The sound of Cassandra’s chuckle and the feel of her hands sliding around her sides sends whatever Olivia was going to say out into the void. She drops her bag, and without another teasing word, Cassandra kisses her. A kiss that warms better than any coffee of fire. The kind after too much time apart, no matter that it was only a day.

Olivia has slid onto her toes by the time she pulls away, biting her lip as now both their clouds of exhaled steam plume around them both.

“And here I thought you’d be too focused to give me the time of day,” she whispers, biting back a smile.

Cassandra smirks a bit tensely, and relaxes her hold. She’s still a bit sweaty, but in this weather, that rarely lasts. “Practice ended an hour ago. I’m just planning.”

It’s then Olivia notices the sack of equipment on the sideline to the far right of where they are standing. Cones, extra balls, all in some giant net that looks like you could catch fish with it.

“Oh. Uh, in that case, if I should go then--”

“No,” Cassandra lets go of her in order to take hold of her hand and hold it just as tight. “No, stay.”

Olivia’s brow lifts, and she’s begging her heart to stop beating so fast that it takes her breath -- what little she has that isn’t already stolen by the freezing temperature -- away every time.

“Sure,” she replies, and reaches down to pick up her bag. “I can just...go fix myself up on the bench over there.”

“Okay,” Cassandra says as she delays letting go of her until they are too far apart to maintain it. She is so sweet, so calm. Completely different from how Olivia imagined she would be; to be fair, the only other times she saw her in action were during the day and with the entire team. Her “Captain” persona was stern and constantly frowning at someone or something. She was good, and she acted like it. No excuses, no fluff. This was like an alternate reality.

Trying not to get lost in her thoughts, she sets her bag on the bench and sits on the ground, back against it. She then pulls out her macbook and set it on her straight legs, pulling it open while her eyes inevitably wandered to the woman still in the center of the lights. Cassandra had already returned to pacing, eyes toward the goal while she walked along the line. Not playing, not running, not a single act of actually playing. Just pacing, slow and pensive. What was there to mull over so critically?

Rather than ask, Olivia minds her own business. She has work to do, too, and she shouldn’t embarass herself by gawking. She pulls up her paper outlines and gets to work, even pulling out her headphones from her pocket. Unfortunately she doesn’t have the will to put them in, for the chance that maybe Cassandra will say something and God forbid she gets caught not willing to listen. Fuck, she’s got it good.

Time goes by, and it’s productive on either end: Olivia manages to do the impossible and get some work done, and Cassandra ends her deliberations and starts practicing with a ball, aiming and hitting them each into the goal one-by-one. Each time, she centers them in the same way, and backs away a few yards before charging at them. It all seems rather ritualistic. This goes on for another 10-15 minutes before Olivia notices from the top of her gaze that Cassandra has stopped, standing still and arms folded. She looks up and watches her for a moment as she’s regaining her breath. The way the lights show leave no piece of her in the dark, but somehow she’s still so elusive.

“You alright there, Captain?” Olivia yells, halting her typing.

Cassandra glances out of the corner of her eye and her lips move, but not loud enough. She turns around and walks toward her balls and starts picking them up, one and then another, and kicks the last one with her. Olivia frowns and sets her laptop aside, closing it before rising to her feet. Cassandra’s got her eyes to the ground again, staring daggers.

And of course because Olivia can never just let things be, she impulsively jogs over. She crouches and swipes the ball from the ground, bounding in a circle further out into the field. Cassandra finally snaps out of whatever trance she’s got herself in and turns to watch her, an alarmed sound catching in her throat.

“H-hey! Olivia!”

“This is how you play, right?” Olivia smiles fiendishly, holding the ball above her head like she’s about to chuck it. “You grab and run for it?”

“Ugh, no, you know it’s not,” Cassandra corrects her, still so serious.

Not sufficed, Olivia lowers the ball to rest against her stomach, and continues to play. “Hm. Silly me. I thought you took it and held it ransom until someone finally tackles you to the ground.”

“You’re thinking rugby, and no,” Cassandra shakes her head. “Come on, give it back.”

“Really? Then how am I gonna score a basket?”

“That is bask--Olivia! Come on, please.”

“Hm…” Olivia continues, and Cassandra finally sets the balls down by the bench and follows her, albeit at a far less energetic pace, out onto the field.

“The field closes soon,” she warns.

Olivia giggles a little, and holds the ball behind her back. “Then you better hurry!”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I’m not serious, I’m doing what you’re doing: I’m playing.”

They stare at each other as the impasse rises. With the sharpness of Cassandra’s frown, Olivia only smiles more, hoping to fight fire with fire -- just different kinds, is all.

“Come on, Captain, I thought nothing got past you.”

“...that’s it.”

Cassandra’s mouth twitches at the corners, and her eyes narrow with precision. She cuts into a sprint, so fast that Olivia shrieks in fear as she goes to escape. Maybe she should have thought this through before challenging a soccer player to run fast across a flat surface.

She makes it almost to the halfway point of the field before arms wrap around her from behind and pull her to a twirling stop. Cassandra’s strength pulls her off the ground again, and Olivia’s shrieking laughter only worsens when she’s captured. They spin once, and then twice, before Olivia chucks the ball aimlessly and gives up.

“I give up! I give--” she says through her gasping breaths.

Cassandra doesn’t say a word nor utters so much as a smirk as she breathes heavy at her back, mouth near her ear. It both excites her and sends a shiver down her spine, feeling her inch-for-inch and completely engulfed around her. When both the laughter and Olivia’s feet find the ground again, she finds Cassandra doesn’t release her this second time. No, instead, she holds on and makes it so Olivia has to spin around in her hold in order to face her captor. When she does, their faces are so close, heartbeats so rushed, it makes her forget the clever quip she had in store.

“I...I…”

Cassandra then grins, still catching her breath. A wave of relief comes with it.

“I just wanted…” Olivia tries again, arms resting on top of Cassandra’s, hands clasping around her shoulders. She would rather die than be free of them.

“You were just trying to help, I know,” Cassandra knowingly finishes for her. “Funny how your methods are always starting trouble first.”

Olivia giggles, hands sliding up to the sides of her neck. “I know...but I can’t help it.”

“I also know that.”

“Interesting. Do you also know what to do with that mouth of yours?”

Cassandra’s grin softens, and the pink tint in her cheeks intensifies. One could say it is just the strain of physical exertion, but, whatever. Olivia smiles to take the sting out of it.

“I meant kiss me,” she whispers the hint.

Cassandra lets out a relieved chuckle, and brings her in closer, as if it were possible. They both lean in for what is sure to be the perfect way to end a successful distraction, until it is one-upped by a voice calling from the far side of the field where Olivia entered from. Immediately, both stop and look. Maybe it’s one of the teammates having forgotten something, or some other jock out in the wild. But no, it’s someone dressed in normal clothes, with long black hair thick and wavy. They have a handbag hooked on their arm, and from the looks of their walk, are wearing quite the ambitious pair of stilettos.

“Shit,” Cassandra mutters, and pulls away. They go from being glued to each other, so polarized like magnet ends. Olivia tries not to feel tossed aside as she pulls down her sleeves and jacket hem, clearing her throat. Cassandra does the same.

“What are you doing here?!” Cassandra asks the person, annoyed. Nothing like she acted when it was Olivia showing up.

The figure stops and leans onto one hip, sighing with attitude. “Don’t do this, Cassandra. You knew I was stopping by!”

“Yes, you said 8:30, at my apartment.”

The woman then keep walking, furiously until she is close enough for them to become a triad of anxiety and confusion. She’s pretty, and looks kind of like Cassandra, if you were to close one eye, tilt your head, then take a shot of something so strong it could strip rust off a pipe. Hair that looks freshly balayaged, makeup impeccably done, not too much or too little. Older, but not quite so old for Olivia to wonder if it’s a parent or another one of her aunts and uncles.

“Yes, and it’s…” the woman checks her phone she slips out her bag. “Wow, look, 8:25. You’re lucky I know you well enough to check the nearest soccer field.”

Cassandra sighs loudly. “Fine. Do you have the keys?”

“Of course! But first, who is this?” the woman’s eyes land on Olivia, and instantly the field lights seem like glow-sticks in comparison. She can’t quite tell if she is the shiny new thing, or the interloper that needs to turn to ash. Their voices are so nice to listen to, what the fuck?

“I, uh, um...”

“This is Olivia. Olivia, this is my cousin, Antonia--”

“Antonia Pentaghast,” she smiles, and holds her hand out, freshly done acrylics and all. Damn, this woman is a masterpiece. “Nice to meet you, Olivia…?”

Olivia reaches and shakes her hand, strong and confident as she can, and blinks. Shit, she means last name. “Olivia Sinclair. Nice to meet you!”

“Sinclair…” she says with a little thrill as their hands fall. “You wouldn’t happen to be related to the lady on the City Council?”

Olivia and Cassandra exchange a look too quick for her to tell whether this is something she encourages. The very mention of her Mother fills her with as much anxiety as the Captain of the Titanic must have felt. “Um, actually, yes. She is my Mother.”

“Mother! What a small world! Your family has been patrons of our Church almost as long as we have! But I don’t think I’d have to tell you that, ahah.”

“No, I’m afraid not,” Olivia smiles politely, joining her hands together behind her. Yep, that is fact no. 1 in the Sinclair household. Right up there with the “Live, Laugh, Love” decals.

“How funny,” Antonia grins playfully, eyeing her less-than-enthused cousin who has become a pillar of seriousness all over again. So much for comedy being the most potent medicine.

“Antonia,” Cassandra interrupts sternly, “the keys?”

Antonia is about to say something more, but she stops herself and laughs. “My, my,” she says, sifting through her handbag. “You must forgive me, Olivia. Cassandra hardly ever mentions any friends. Other than that...that blonde one, she keeps bringing around but swears she is not dating.” The keys jingle in her hand as she hands them off to Cassandra, who wastes no time in snatching them up. “My husband and I are leaving for a few days to visit his family on the coast. I asked her to check up on our cats. Just dropping off the spare key!”

“Oh! That sounds like fun,” Olivia says, and then feels instantly self-conscious. But hey, it’s something.

“It will be!” Antonia grins. “Now, please tell me I will be seeing you at our family’s holiday gather--”

“Olivia will be spending the break with her own family, Antonia,” Cassandra intervenes, a bit coldly, even. The jolt in the otherwise congenial encounter makes any comfort vanish.

Antonia stops, mouth still agape, and brow lifted. Her eyes shift from her rude cousin to her.

“I…” Olivia looks at Cassandra, who in turn gives her a look of ‘please help,’ and has to choose loyalties. “I...she’s right. Thanksgiving is very important to my Mom.”

Antonia grins like she’s onto something, whether it be their true dynamic or nuclear launch codes. She hums and makes a “tsk, tsk” sound to finish. “How perfect that our gathering does not take place on the day of, then. But, details, details. I will leave you two alone. You seemed to be enjoying it...a lot.” She straightens up and runs a hand through her hair. Olivia keeps staring, even when she knows she shouldn’t. With a nod to the both of them, Antonia turns tail and struts off.

“Don’t forget Benny’s allergy meds, Cassandra!” she says, not bothering to look back.

“I won’t!” Cassandra confirms, resentfully scowling after her. It isn’t until Antonia’s figure is no longer in the field lights that she finally says anything more. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes, keys ringing in between her shaking fingers. “My family is insufferable.”

While she walks off, grabbing the ball Olivia abandoned. Olivia follows but at a hung-back pace. The whole thing doesn’t make sense. Insufferable? That was anything but. If she wants insufferable, she should walk into my family’s home.

“That was...that was fine, Cassandra,” she says, rubbing her palms. “She seems really nice!”

“Yeah, they all are,” she gripes as they make it back to the bench.

“Is that not...good?”

“The point is that--” she stops herself, freezing upright. Collecting her frustration that seems so easily provoked. Olivia watches, but it hurts a little to have Cassandra’s back to her.

“The point is there’s a lot more to it than niceness.”

“I figured.” Olivia comes around to stand beside her, watching as she packs up the net of equipment. There’s so many questions to ask, but all of them seem decidedly not welcome.

“Look, I hate to ask, but...are they not...okay...with you not being straight?”

Cassandra doesn’t miss a beat, pulling the net string tight and figuring a knot. “Most of them would be. I have a cousin who’s gay, him and his partner have been together for five years.”

Wait...what the fuck?

“But...but aren’t they religious and really conservative?”

She lets go of the bag and turns around, crossing her arms. “Yeah. The older members are still...well, narrow-minded. My family is just huge. It would be impossible to keep that going and one of us not turning out...well…”

“...Well?”

Cassandra frowns and shakes her head. “Different? Look, I’d rather not discuss it.”

“That’s fine. I’m just a little confused.”

“Confused about what?”

Olivia’s arms go out wide, and she gestures toward the part of the field they were just standing in. The part where everything was going perfect until the record-scratch of the century. “That? That back there? That whole, ‘nevermind I’m not touching the woman who’s tongue was about to be down my throat, hi, she’s just Olivia’! ‘The first rule about bi-club is you don’t talk about bi-club!’”

“Olivia, please,” Cassandra replies dismissively, eyes rolling again.

Olivia’s confusion is now tinted with anger. “So I don’t deserve an answer?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. It’s complicated.”

Here we go again. “I don’t know ‘complicated’?”

“You, agh...you haven’t introduced me to your family, either!”

Olivia’s eyes widen. “That is because the last time I brought a girl home my Mom bought us best friends Pandora charms for Christmas and then gave her a guest room with a Bible in the drawer like some Hotel!”

Cassandra scoffs dryly, her hands returning to her hips. “See? You get it--”

“I do not get it, Cass. I don’t.”

Her tone becomes angrier, to match Olivia’s ire. “My family is nice. They are nice, but they are also incredibly invasive, elitist, and fake. If they get one scrap of your personal stuff, you can kiss any privacy and autonomy goodbye. I have worked so hard to have any semblance of my own life separate from them. Forgive me if that’s so selfish.”

The air goes quiet as they both stare at each other. Olivia closes her mouth to retain the spiteful response that surely would arise if she kept going. It would be unfair. But did that make it fair what she did to her just then? Or was it not nearly as big of a deal as she’s making it out to be?

Fuck, Theia’s shit is getting into my head.

Looking off towards the goal, Olivia bounces on and off her toes nervously. She slips her hands in her front jacket pockets.

“Is that why you didn’t invite me for the holidays?” she asks, tone and expression as blank as she can muster.

A pause, and then Cassandra’s careful tone. “Maybe. I thought it wouldn’t matter. You said you spend the break at home.”

“I do. You’re...you’re right.”

“Neither of us invited each other.”

“...Yeah.”

“Liv.”

She sucks on her teeth and closes her eyes, taking one, desperate breath of patience. “What?”

“Look at me,” she asks in return, coming closer. Olivia fights the bitter urge to back away, and make it harder for her. But the closer she is, the more disarmed she feels, even with all her wrath. So, with nothing but one step in between them left, she honors the request and looks at her. All the pride has left Cassandra’s face, replaced by frustrated attentiveness.

This whole time I’ve been thinking she’d be cast out and placed under some exorcism for daring to be queer. Now, what?

“Liv, I’m not trying to hide you. I promise.”

“Then why--”

“You saw how she knew how to connect your name to your Mom in two seconds flat. They don’t just care to know names. Now, they don’t just know you’re name, they know your family, and any and all related gossip. That’s what they do: it’s either fame, gossip, or money. You have to trust me.”

Olivia looks at her, hands in her pockets balling into fists. So what is so bad about being snobby? If it was such a sin, half the town would be cast into hellfire. No use for their pretty churches then.

“Okay,” she concedes, albeit hesitantly. “Just...just remember what it’s like for me, okay? I hate to bring up the flyers, but…”

“Knowing and being known by my family won’t solve any of that,” she caveats, before daring to reach out for her hand. Olivia reaches and takes hold. “We deserve the time it takes to just be us and get to know each other.”

“I agree,” she sighs, and tries to shake loose of the duress. And how long is that going to take, when everything stays a mystery?

“Thank you,” Cassandra says sincerely, rubbing the back of her hand with a thumb. It’s soothing. So much so, Olivia resolves the remaining distance between them and brings herself into Cassandra’s chest. It’s her turn to wrap her arms around her and not want to let go.

She reciprocates, the side of her chin resting against Olivia’s head of hair. “Just let me get through the finals, and then I’ll have more time,” she swears with a renewed sweetness.

Olivia closes her eyes and hides her face in Cassandra’s chest, her voice muffled against her clothes. “When will my girlfriend return from the soccer war?”

Cassandra laughs a bit. “Tell you what, she’s on leave tonight, why don’t you come over and we can watch a movie. Your turn to pick.”

“For this...oh, you’re getting Kill Bill.”

“Volume one or two?”

“Both,” still muffled, but adamant. “How dare you suggest we only watch one?”

Cassandra smirks and rubs Olivia’s arms, generating more warmth for both of them. “How foolish of me. You have a deal.”

“I’m also ordering takeout. Ellinor told me all you do with Cullen lately is drink protein shakes and lie.”

“Um, I eat three square meals a day. It’s not my fault Cullen chases his shakes with toaster strudel.”

Olivia giggled again. Her face has become too warm to break from this pose. They’re going to freeze there forever, she decides. Forget the movie and takeout.

“Come on,” Cassandra pats her on the shoulders. “Let’s get this shit put away, and then you can read me the DoorDash menu on the way back.”

“Mm, keep talking dirty like that, the war can shove it.”

More laughter, and thank goodness for it.

#day & age #friendship fic #ellinor trevelyan #olivia sinclair #college au

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totsshots52x52 · 4 years

Photo

These are two pairs of matching Reebok sneaks of two girls I met in Kraków Poland youth Hostel Little Havana.

We, Charlotte Patrick and I, arrived at this hostel on Friday at 4pm~ish. After settling in for a bit, these girls came in and were greeted by the other roommates who went out with them the night before. “Have you just gotten back from last night?” someone asks. “yes, it was so much fun we didn’t want to stop!”.

They had partied from the night before until the next afternoon. We came back from a quick bite to eat and the two girls were fast asleep together in one bed.

They had two beds but chose to sleep in one, cuddling and catching much needed slumber. We went out for a stroll to the markets before they closed. We came back to freshen up and get ready for our Bar Crawl with the hostel. By the time we came back, the girls were gone and out at another party.

The next morning, we got up for an early, 6am Auschwitz tour scheduled. The girls were missing from their bunk. We get back to our hostel after the traumatic tour around 12/1 pm. The girls followed in shortly after us.

They had gone partying again the WHOLE night with only a couple hours nap in between. They told us they were here to apply to some universities in the area and just having a fun weekend while on this business trip. They are 20 years old, from Austria if I remember correctly. They have been traveling and doing two gap years in between high school and university. They said they have been all around Central & South America & all around Europe. I asked why they are going to University now and they said their moms want them to start applying “and our money is running out”.

We decided to catch up on sleep and woke again around 6/7p to get dinner. When we woke up, the girls were gone again.

We continued to only have interactions as they were leaving or taking a quick rest in the same bed.

They had endless energy that came from thin air. They slept in each others arms when they needed little rests. They were always riding the same wave, both down for the same adventures. They put on makeup in the same bed and put on their matching shoes for their nights and days out in Krakow.

I’ll never forget these girls. I wish I knew their names.

I snapped this photo during a rare moment they were napping at the hostel. These beater shoes remind me when I was 20. I turned 23 in this hostel on my last day here. When I was a sophomore in University, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, so I took so many classes and overloaded my schedule so I could experience everything. It meant few hours of sleep. It meant I exercised when I should have been sleeping because I wanted to stay up and feel physically productive. Their shoes reminded me of my nike AF1′s that I took to every house party because they are the comfiest lived-in shoe I have ever owned. The shoes hold so many memories and are my go to comfort accessory.

I saw my younger self in these MF’ing shoes!

having FOMO if I missed any social interactions, bags under my eyes, alcohol on my breath, dirt all over the white surface of the shoes. To be 20 and have so much time to live my best life. I have not stopped living my best life. I have felt like my life keeps getting better. But these shoes reminded me how far I’ve come and how I’ve learned to balance my FOMO, my wild nights out, and my sleep - bc that shits important TOO!

#krakow #poland #little havana hostel #reebok sneakers #girls from krakow #miss them #twenty something #20 #hostel stories #memories #shoe photography

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sohmariku · 4 years

Text

RIKU’S RANDOM LIFE: THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF... AUTISM?

Yesterday What do I need to do today? Finish decorating the Christmas tree? Reminds me, I still need to by a Christmas stall. But the kitchen really needs to be cleaned too. It’s also about time I finish the Winter set-up of my nendoroids. Crap, I absolutely need to vacuum the house today! Laundry can wait another day,...can it?

*Proceeds to watch another episode of Avatar: the Last Airbender*

Thankfully I’ve managed to cross out most of the tasks I had to do by today, but the Christmas tree still lacks decorations and my nendoroids are still disorderly shoved on the shelves. Maybe tomorrow...?

(I came to come to the conclusion I still have dry laundry hanging on the clothesline... I estimate it’s been up there for about a week now.)

While my mind is usually in a state of “semi-organised chaos”, the last couple weeks it’s mostly been “pure chaos”. Due to an overload of responsibilities, birthday parties and other holiday-celebrating occasions, I can’t seem to keep up with even the most basic tasks.

In short, I’m mentally exhausted and need a break.

Last time I blamed my kitten for the lack of progress on any subtitles, but... I’ve come to the realization it’s been not just that. The seemingly never-ending string of social responsibilities has drained away all my energy... to the point I could barely be bothered to eat breakfast some days. Of course my dumb-ass mind was too tired to realize what was going on and... Hello Meltdown Yesterday.

In hindsight, I really should have skipped that birthday dinner party, but my boyfriend was already guilt tripping me into going, before I even could mention I didn’t want to go. His father would be so happy if I’d be there, he said. Mind you, I had completely forgotten about that party until my boyfriend called around 4PM telling me he was on the way home, so we’d surely get to the restaurant in time. That day was supposed to be MY DAY OFF! Because I could feel I had reached my limit. Nope, that evening is gone! Though I was literally on the verge of crying, I decided to push through, because his parents feel they don’t see me around enough already and gotta keep them happy, sorta.

The effect showed immediately, because it took me two days to even realize I had forgotten my scarf at the restaurant! And I only noticed, because I couldn’t find it when I forced myself to do the grocery shopping I absolutely didn’t feel like doing, because I was still recovering from said dinner party. Of course, as the responsible adult I am, I didn’t call the restaurant, but instead texted my boyfriend “I think I might have forgotten my scarf at the restaurant!” and prayed he’d solve the problem without me literally needing to ask him to make the call for me. Because if there’s anything I hate more than making phone calls, I hate making phone calls to admit I’m an absolute airhead who forgot her scarf! Thankfully he fixed it without me needing to spell it out word for word. Got my scarf back.

But really, this whole debacle really shows how on-edge I was that evening. I clearly remember thinking to myself “don’t forget your scarf” and then came the waiter who handed me a little rubber duck. (because apparently every female customer gets one) And boom, I became a happy little penguin with my rubber duck. It was all I could focus on ad when people started to leave, I quickly waddled outside (after saying some painfully awkward goodbyes to people I don’t actually know, but who do know me) and totally forgot about the scarf. Until days later! But yes, I got it back.

(To add to that, I lost that same scarf again today but in the Garden center, because I was too focused on a text conversation on my phone. Took me a lot of courage and agonizing to ask the staff if anyone had found it. They did, I got it back. Also, when doing some grocery shopping last week, I forgot my empty shopping bag at the cashier. I didn’t go back to ask if anyone found it. I could get a new one for only 58 eurocents after all. Anyway, notice a trend?)

If that wasn’t enough. The worst part is probably, I know I’m not out of the woods yet. Choir practice on Friday (20), Christmas Market Choir performance on Sunday (22), Christmas Evening Church Mass with choir on Tuesday (24),Christmas with family (parents/siblings) on Wednesday (25), Christmas with extended family (grandparents/uncles/aunts/cousins) on Thursday (26)...

Somewhere in between all that I need to find time to properly clean my whole house (which hasn’t happened in forever), because I’ll be the one hosting the Christmas gathering on the 26th (It’s way too late to back out now...) and my aunts are already judging me enough as it is.I don’t need them to think I’m living like a pig. (It’s the first time they’ll see my house, so they’ll be sticking their noses everywhere most likely...) My house isn’t dirty per se, but it could definitely be cleaner.

And when you think the “suffering” finally ends... my boyfriend has a compulsory day off from work (27). So, I won’t get a fully quiet day until Monday (30). My plans for New Year’s Eve (31) are still unclear. But then my boyfriend has another compulsory day off on New Year’s (1) and he also decided to take Thursday (2) and Friday (3) off too. Now my grandmother’s birthday is on the 7th, but she might very well be celebrating it on the 4th or 5th. Or the weekend after that (11-12). Plus in either of those weekends my boyfriend’s parents very much want to go out for dinner with us too...

In short, that means I’m not expecting any “true” down-time until well into January... And just that thought alone is enough to drain away the last bit of energy I had left and dread the rest of the month.

Always love the holiday season... //hear the sarcasm//

If it was up to me I’d go into hibernation and wake up somewhere in January.

---

Note: Though I have no official diagnosis (and not sure if I’ll ever pursue one), in hindsight, I’m pretty clearly on the Autistic Spectrum. It’s only been a year ago since I really came to this realization, I’m apparently pretty good at masking, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. My autism affects a great deal of my life. For one, any social interaction requires a lot of energy. It’s worse if I’m meeting with a large group of people. And even if I’m not in the same room, having another person in the house will somehow keep me on edge to a certain extent. I’m well aware that full schedules are exhausting to everyone, but to me they are “extra” exhausting. For example, it can take 2 full weeks to fully recover from a gathering with extended family. And when I’m in recovery, it’s very hard to do anything productive on a day. As I’m writing this, it sounds insane. And it doesn’t always happen, but it does happen and that’s extremely inconvenient.

This post became a lot longer than I expected, but I guess it’s good to finally talk about this? Though part of me is feeling really anxious about it. How dare I claim to be autistic without an official diagnosis? It’s silly. My life is all about silly worries. This is just one of them. The anxiety is real. >< Guess I’d better just post this already... and then regret it all night... have trouble to fall asleep... while I dread the reactions people might have. Yes, that’s how my mind works. By morning I’ll realize I had nothing to fear, I hope... O.O;;

By the way, congrats if you made it all the way to the end of my rambling!

#Riku's random life

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sarakuper · 4 years

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Cali; the salsa capital

Stop #10, February 11-17

We landed in Cali late Tuesday night and got to our hostel, The Pelican Larry. Our “private bedroom” was awkwardly filled with one queen bed and two sets of bunk beds… and a bunch of skeeters!

Wednesday we walked around, ate a delish vegetarian lunch, and attempted to go to the river to cool down. After traveling about 45 minutes by bus, we waited for next one we needed to take, but it never showed. There’s a chance this bus only ran on Saturday’s but honestly we weren’t too sure. It was already 4pm by the time we decided to turn around, since we were warned to leave the river by 5 for safety. Even though our plans for the day totally failed, I still thought the bus system here is actually pretty impressive.

Back at the hostel other travelers, including 3 German girls traveling on their gap year, invited us to visit Cristo Rey to watch the sunset. We ended up being a group of 8, taking two cabs to get there. We enjoyed the views and the sunset, then Sean, myself and two others went for a vegan dinner in town that was cheap and yummy.

That night several of us played games at the hostel around a big table and eventually got ready to go out for salsa. We went to La Topa Tolondra, a famous salsa club. I thought I knew some salsa from when I traveled in Peru but Cali salsa is so different!!! I knew almost nothing of the dance moves. Cali is known for salsa and their nightlife so even though Sean and I are early birds, I did my best to embrace this. Sean wasn’t thrilled to go out, especially for salsa, but he came for me.

The next day we slept in late missing the free (and basic) breakfast by the hostel. I spent all day working on some applications for jobs while Sean did Duolingo for hours. I didn’t know it until later but he was very determined to exceed my XP. Only duolingo-ers will understand that reference (Sue gets it)! The rest of the day was spent working on extending our travel visa and participating in an interview to volunteer at the spanish school we went to when we first arrived in Colombia. In the evening I joined the free intro to Cali Salsa dance class offered by the hostel. It was actually pretty fun, and a nice way to meet other travels too. And after learning all the basic steps, of course I wanted to go ahead and practice what I learned!

Later that night many of us went out again, and since I felt safe to go with this group of people Sean stayed back since it was not interesting to him. The salsa bar we went to this night was called Tintindeo and was so much fun! I enjoyed it much more than the other salsa club because it felt more like a bar you could hang out in and also dance salsa with a lot less intimidation. The salsa club from the previous night was slightly awkward in that you were either dancing salsa or awkwardly watching along the side lines. Tintindeo has fun lights, and all of the salsa teachers were there (probably to encourage people to purchase private salsa lessons with them) and they were amazing to dance with! Of course they know you are learning, but some are better than others in leading and two of the teachers in particular made me feel like I knew what the hell I was doing!! By the end of the night I was super sweaty; I knew I had tried my best!

Around 1 am the bar came to a close and the group I was with wanted to head to a raggaeton club nearby. Since it was considerably early I went along, but when I got there I felt like it was sketchy and the best of the night was behind us. I’ve learned that usually “the next place” is never as good as the first when the first one was a blast. So why stay out? I decided to leave, and so a friend put me in a cab to assure I’d get back safe. During the ride I followed the blue dot on my phone on google maps to ensure the driver was taking me to the right place. All was good, and even though Sean locked me out of the room on accident, the 24 hour host was able to let me in.

There had been a lot of talk about ELN, a guerrilla group still remaining in Colombia, engaging in a violent protest from Friday - Sunday, February 14-16. Talk was that the cities were safe, but the small towns outside the city were not. We heard of tourists being told not to take busses between cities for their own safety. Afraid of this threat, we decided to extend our initial 3 day visit to Cali into a 6 day visit. We changed hostels on Friday and stayed until Monday morning, when it was reportedly safe to travel again.

This next hostel, Green House, was very quiet and relaxed. There were only 3 other tourists staying, 2 of them being Israeli’s on their gap year after the army. I love meeting Israeli’s because I feel like I have so much to talk about with them; being jewish, my family in Israel, and having visited the country many times. Usually when I travel to Central or South AmericaI meet many Israeli’s, but being there for 2 months at this point, these two were the first ones we met!

After attempting to cook some version of the delicious lentil patties we’ve been eating (total fail btw) we got ready to go out to experience another club, this time not for Salsa. After reading a lot about Cali I understand now that their nightlife really is the main attraction of visiting Cali, and so this would be my 3rd night in a row going out! Sean was being a trooper and coming along with me. I had hoped the lack of salsa would make it more interesting for him.

I had a few drinks with the Israeli’s while we talked a bunch. Sean didn’t feel like joining the conversation even though I tried to include him time and time again, as did the two Israeli’s, he didn’t budge. Sometimes it’s hard because I absolutely love socializing (when I actually like the people), and traveling as a couple makes it slightly harder to socialize than when I had traveled alone in the past. Anyway, Sean and I eventually went out to La Pergola which had a $20.000 cover (about $6). Even though this is quite expensive, we weren’t buying drinks there and were really going for the experience. As we approached the club in our cab we could hear the music from down the street. There was a long line to get in that moved surprisingly quickly. The club was huge and completely open having great views of the surrounding city. There were 3 floors playing different types of music, and really was a sight to see. It was especially fun when a very popular latin song came on and everyone in the club sang it together. We stayed until 1am before hopping into a cab back to the hostel.

The rest of the weekend, we spent our time just hanging out trying to avoid the serious heat of this place. By 1pm it gets so hot, all you can think about is swimming. By 2pm we left for a cab to Acuaparque de la Cana to spend the late afternoon in a children/family water park. We felt like teenagers having fun on all the watersides, walking around in our swim suits, eagerly checking out the next fun thing to do. One of Sean’s favorite was the zip line where you hung (together) on a bar that zip lines above a pool. You have to let go before it reaches the end plopping you right into the water! We did this one several times throughout the day.

We did other rides as well including a high and long waterslide. Sean and I went on a slide, side by side, and my slide gave me a huge wedgie just before it shot me into the pool. Sean loved that one too, but I could not handle that level of discomfort again and so I chose to pass on repeating it. Another fun one was the toilet bowl (or at least that’s what we called it when we visited waterparks at camp)! We rented a two person tube that shot us through a tube spitting you out into a “bowl” that you flung around and around until you made it to the bottom. That one was super fun :) The last ride of the day for us was the wave pool, since it was 5pm and everything else was closing. It was fun and enjoyable until Sean realized how dirty the pool was and how much hair was in the water (LOL).

Our last day in Cali we waited for the heat to pass before heading out for a bite and some walking around. We walked through the [very strange] cat statues, as well as a lovely park for people watching. Our time in Cali was fun, but now it’s time to leave (hopefully to somewhere less hot)!

Thanks for reading fam, love you all.

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sfaioffical · 4 years

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SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA:

Pete’s Café - SFAI In The 90’s In the 90s, many SFAI students worked for and exhibited artwork at Pete’s Café, which was situated on the roof of SFAI’s Chestnut Street Campus. On view January 10 through February 16, The Great Highway Gallery presents a group exhibition featuring several SFAI-affiliated artists, including John Lindsey, Dave Arnn, Daric Cheshire, Colin Chillag, Wren Coe, Diana Coopersmith, Adrienne Eberhardt, Connie Goldman, Jeremy Harper, Gerald Hawk, Cliff Hengst, Scott Hewicker, Johanna Jackson, Xylor Jane, Patricia Kavanaugh, Yasmin Lambie-Simpson, Mario Lemos, Ted Lincoln, Lydia Linker, Linton, Jennifer Locke, Sally Lundburg, Mads Lynnerup, Spencer Mack, J Matt, Alicia McCarthy, Barry McGee, Palmerin Merges, Karla Milosevich, Ruby Neri, Eamon Ore-Giron, Maurizzio Hector Pineda, Will Rogan, Cynthia Rojas, Rocio Santillana, Christian Spruell, Steven Starfas, Keith Tallett, Rafael Vieira, Benji Whalen, Mark Wilson, and more!

Lighting the Council Fire: Paintings of Suiko Betsy McCall (MFA 2009) On view through January 30 at San Francisco’s Zen Center, Suikos writes about Lighting the Council Fire: “Whether with a pencil or paint, these works on paper explore the interaction between a structure set up by an evolving, repeating system and the unpredictable chaos of the spill, smudge, or breath-initiated brushstroke. By engaging the repetitive rhythms of practice, my work also aims to reshape my life as an Artmonk.”

Image: April Martin, cali fantazies. © April Martin

Cali Fantazies – April Martin (MFA 2019) Cali Fantazies is a multimedia art installation on view at the Museum of the African Diaspora (MoAD) through March 3, 2020. On February 13, April Martin is curating a special event, Cali Fantazies: Righteous Ratchet Joy, where performers from the legendary underground black queer party “Cali Fantazies” will be performing at MoAD. Come witness the magic, allure, and stunts of performers in a not to be missed experience. This event will be a space where queer Black folks can enjoy the many talents of BADASS Black Women. We will shout with joy and make it shower with flowers as beautiful black women pole twerk and booty bounce in a celebration of Black Women. We welcome you to immerse yourself in MoAD’s latest exhibition, groove to the electrifying sounds of DJ Lady Ryan and laugh out loud at hilarious host Ms. Bleu Sugar from Coochieliscious Entertainment as she narrates the mesmerizing performances by Cali Fantazie’s dancers.

This event will be honoring the legacy of queer black club life and the closure Bench and Bar and Club 21, the last remaining black and brown queer clubs in Oakland.

Mind / Body / Spirit / Land – Susanne Siminger (MFA 1987) Please join Susanne for the artist reception on Friday, January 17 at the Gail Van Dyke Gallery in the MarinHealth Medical Center in Greenbrae for the opening of Mind / Body / Spirit / Land: Oils and Water Colors inspired by Our Beautiful Land.

Panel Discussion: Re-Imagining Equity in the Art World 2020, with Katherine Vetne (MFA 2015) On January 18, Katherine Vetne joins local artists Erica Deeman and Indira Allegra, as well as curators Heidi Rabben and James Voorhies to discuss their art practices, concerns and challenges, and where the equity movement might lead in the coming years. This panel is organized by ArtTable, which is celebrating 40 years of women's advocacy and professional development. Katherine will also have work on view at the Catherine Clark Gallery booth at Untitled San Francisco, July 17–19, 2020.

Image: Michael Jang, Ramones Free Concert, Civic Center Plaza, San Francisco, 1979, gelatin silver print. Courtesy the artist. © Michael Jang

In Conversation: Michael Jang (MFA 1977), Sandra S. Phillips, and Nion McEvoy For the closing of Michael Jang’s California, photographer Michael Jang and curator Sandra S. Phillips are joined by Nion McEvoy for a wide-ranging conversation about the resonances of place, person, and time in Jang’s work. This first retrospective exhibition presents a rare, immersive journey through Jang’s career, from the 1970s to the present, and is curated by Phillips, SFMOMA curator emerita of photography and Jang’s longtime collaborator.

Fresh Focus – Jordan Holms (MFA 2019) Join Jordan Holms on Wednesday, January 14, at 4pm for a meet and greet for Fresh Focus, an exhibition featuring small-size artworks by recent and current MFA artists of the Bay Area.

Spiders from Mars – Ben Venom (MFA 2007) Please join alum, Ben Venom for the opening reception for Spiders from Mars on January 15 at St. Joseph’s Art Society. On view January 17 – February 15, 2020.

Forbidden Illusions – Whitney Lynn (MFA 2007) Whitney Lynn invites you to "forbidden knowledge", anaglyph collages created while an Artist-in-Residence at LightSource SF. On view through February 1, 2020.

Displaced - Spencer Keeton Cunnigham (BFA 2010) Please join Spencer for the closing reception of Displaced at 6pm on February 9 at The Midway Gallery. He is consistently working on new ideas for art whether that is in the form of paintings, drawings, murals and installations that dive deep into topics relating to his personal relationship on Native American rights, cultural representation, social change and activsm. Spencer’s artwork has been on broadcast television, in motion pictures and exhibited throughout the U.S. and beyond. His art can currently be found on display in the Permanent Collection of the Berkeley Art museum, The Crocker Museum in Sacramento and in print form in the permanent book collection at the Smithsonian Museum of the American Indian in Washington D.C. Cunningham was also recently inducted into the World Congress of Art History in Bejing China by Art Historian Elaine O'Brien.

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Video: A preview of Spencer Keeton Cunningham’s solo exhibition, Displaced, The Midway Gallery, San Francisco. Courtesy the artist.

“Rackets” and “Laminates” – Richard Goldberg (MFA 1987) Opening February 1 at 1pm at Far Out Gallery, this show will feature selections from two recent groups of work: “Rackets” and “laminates”.

The “Rackets” are an ongoing group of wall mounted, mixed media sculptural works. Theses sculptures are made with a variety of found objects and materials which take on new identities and meanings as they are synthesized into a single artwork of rhyming shapes, forms and imagery. Each “Racket” work has its own engaging identity, and story to tell.

Shown alongside of the “Rackets” will be collages that are called “Laminates” These works are 2 dimensional, irregular shaped collages of images, symbols, photographs and other visual material. These shaped collages are then laminated and cut out, to become a kind of flat sculpture with shapes and voids around the perimeter of each collage but also within and throughout the entire composition. They are floated in a shadow box frame which brings out their 3 dimensionality. The “Laminates” were a product of an evolution of ideas and impulses that lead the artist to move on to the more robust 3 dimensionality of the “Rackets”.

Mike Henderson: The Black Paintings + David Simpson: Interference On view through March 28, 2020 at Haines Gallery.

Mike Henderson: The Black Paintings (MFA 1970): Showcasing a body of related works made primarily in the 1990s by recent Artadia Award winner Mike Henderson, the paintings included in this exhibition feature a rich palette of lush blacks, steel grays, and ultramarine blues. Set against the darkness, small shapes of bright blues, yellows, and reds flicker like jewels. Henderson’s experimental films from the 1960s, 70s, and 80s will be shown in dialogue with the paintings. Politically charged and wickedly funny, these remarkable shorts have been screened at museums and festivals around the world. In addition to the exhibition, The Mike Henderson Band will be performing on January 17 as part of UNTITLED, ART San Francisco. Click here for tickets and more information!

David Simpson: Interference (BFA 1956): Acclaimed Bay Area painter David Simpson’s exhibition takes its title from his use of “interference” pigments, which shift in color with changes in light and the viewer’s perspective. Each canvas on view is the result of up to thirty coats of paint, meticulously layered to create a deep, lustrous surface. Now in his 90s, Simpson continues to delight with works of remarkable dynamism, evoking the movement of clouds, or the play of light across water, ultimately offering viewers a powerful space of contemplation.

Shaw & Co. - Richard Shaw (BFA 1965, Martha Shaw (BFA 1966), Alice Shaw (MFA 1999), Virgil Shaw & Friends (Extended through January 31, 2020!) Gallery 16’s exhibition “Shaw & Co.” presents a collection of work by members of the Richard and Martha Shaw Family, plus a plethora of SFAI-affiliated artists—faculty and alums—including Richard Shaw, Martha Shaw, Alice Shaw, Rebeca Bollinger, Mike Henderson, Don Ed Hardy, Bob Hudson, Sahar Khoury, Alicia McCarthy, Jim Melchert, Ruby Neri, Cornelia Schulz, Wanxin Zhang, and more!

BoundarySpan – Aaron Wilder (MFA 2017) A group exhibition curated by Aaron Wilder and featuring the work of alums Michael Arcega (BFA 1999), Jimin Lee (MFA 1997), Paula Levine (MFA 1988), Sherwin Rio (MA 2019), and Desiree Rios (MFA 2017), BoundarySpam reopens on January 27 at the Nathalie and James Thompson Art Gallery at San José State University and will continue through February 21.

Wikipedia:Meetup/San Francisco/Black History Month Wiki-a-thon at Prelinger Library – Niki Korth (MFA 2012) Niki Korth invites you to an afternoon of exploring, discussing, researching, writing, and working together to help improve Wikipedia articles. Attendees are welcome to work on whatever they like and are inspired to from the Library's holdings. For those interested, they will have a concerted focus on working toward closing the diversity gap of coverage on Wikipedia of notable persons of African descent and their achievements and related movements, organizations, events, ideas, projects, and more. Prelinger Library founders Megan and Rick will be present to help attendees find resources from the Library's collections, and there will be experienced Wikipedians present to help Wiki newcomers to get started and answer questions. A Mediterranean lunch will be served, so please come with both hungry minds and stomachs.

Little Rock, Arkansas

American Veterans of Arkansas – Edward Drew (BFA 2014) The Mosaic Templars Cultural Center Museum in Little Rock, Arkansas has commissioned a year-long exhibition from Edward Drew, American Veterans of Arkansas, which uses 5 x 7 tintypes to profile African-American military veterans who are also Arkansans. “African Americans are fairly underrepresented in most sectors, including veterans and veteran contributions to this country,” Drew said. “I thought it was important tthat I speak to the narrative. Then, being a state in the South, it’s important to show tha the rick history of the Southern states has always coincided with African American contributions.”

Wilmington, Delaware

Midnight Mass – Amie Potsic (MFA 1999) Opening Friday, February 7 at 5pm: The Delaware Contemporary has invited Amie to exhibit a large-scale installation on view January 24 through April with over 250 feet of silk. Amie will be working with the museum's gargantuan atrium space to create a fresh design approach to her work.

Miami, Florida

Image: Installation view of Self-preservation (with or without applause), a group exhibition featuring work (far right) by Christopher Culver. Courtesy Primary Gallery.

Self-preservation (with or without applause) – Christopher Culver (BFA 2008) On view through January 28, Primary Gallery is proud to present Self-preservation (with or without applause), a group exhibition featuring alum, Christopher Culver.

Chicago, Illinois

Performance - Norman Long (MFA 2001) Please join Norman Long at Elastic Arts on Friday, January 31, for a special performance featuring LONG/ZALEK DUO.

Massachusetts

"We the People" is a group exhibition featuring work from Aaron Wilder’s (MFA 2017) collaboration with Guta Galli (MFA 2017) entitled "Sugar & Snails," on view through January 31, 2020 at the Dorothy and Charles Mosesian Center for the Arts in Watertown, Massachusetts.

Dancing In The Bardo and Human Impact: Stories of the Opioid Epidemic - John Christian Anderson (MFA 1972) Dancing In The Bardo is a solo show by alumnus John Christian Anderson, on view through January 26 at the Boston Sculptors Gallery. The group show Human Impact: Stories of the Opiod Epidemic is on view at Fullercraft Museum in Brockton, MA, through May 3, 2020.

Baltimore, Maryland

The Breath of Empty Space – Shaun Leonardo (MFA 2005) On view January 30 - March 15, 2020 at Maryland Institute College of Art: "For the last year I have been quietly finalizing plans for The Breath of Empty Space–a solo exhibition of 6 years of drawing concerning violence by the police and American legal system, being shown together for the first time and curated by the insightful and caring John Chaich. I am proud to finally announce this traveling exhibition for 2020 and hope you can join me to witness the work." —Shaun Leonardo

The Breath of Empty Space will also be on view at Museum of Contemporary Art Cleveland, June 5–September 6, 2020.

—INTERNATIONAL EXHIBITIONS—

Budapest, Hungary

Untitled No. 20, From Series Room ‘32’ – Michael Naify (MFA 2017) SFAI alum Michael Naify’s work, Untitled No. 20, From Series Room ‘32’, is featured in PH21 Contemporary Photo Gallery’s upcoming international photography exhibition entitled The self(ie) and the other: Portraiture—on view January 16–February 8, 2020.

Hamburg, Germany

Mother Tongue - Mika Sperling (MFA 2018) Mika's practice is based in photography, and engages ideas and concepts of family. Created during the recommended Olympus Fellowship, "the current project [Mother Tongue] is born out of the idea to include my situation as a new mother into my work. I am using photography, writing and video to search for familiarities between my husband’s and my family. I am documenting the evolving bond to my daughter, the changing relationship to my mother-in-law and that to my own mother." —Mike Sperling Check out this video where Mika discusses Mother Tongue and its familial lineages. Soon on view: Deichtorhallen Hamburg, March 21–June 14, 2020; Fotografie Forum Frankfurt, August 7–September 27, 2020; Foam Museum in Amsterdam, October 23, 2020–January 17, 2021.

Cambridge, UK

The Art of Watching Art – Patricia K. Kelly (MFA 1999) On view January 14–26 at Motion Sickness Project Space, The Art of Watching Art is a group exhibition showcasing a broad range of artworks from artists involved in the invigilation of previous exhibitions in the project space since August 2019, including our very own Patricia K. Kelly.

Do you have an upcoming exhibition or event? If you’re an SFAI alum, please fill out this form to be featured in our next roundup of alumni exhibitions and events.

Top Image Credit: Whitney Lynn, Song of the Sirens, 2019 archival pigment print on Legacy Etching paper, 30 x 40 inches. © Whitney Lynn Studios.

#SFAI #SFAIalumni #art shows #art event #exhibitions

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markandtrish · 4 years

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Liverpool, February 4-8, 2020

Tuesday

Set off on a new adventure to Liverpool, intending to stop overnight in Stafford but we made such good progress that we decided to press on and give ourselves an extra day in Liverpool.

Arrived at the campsite in Southport about 4pm and were soon set up, and decided to treat ourselves to a meal out. Freezing cold by the seafront but we walked along to a pub where we had vouchers for a free drink each, The Guelder Rose. Had our drink and decided to have a carvery there as well, which was lovely. Called in to a couple more pubs on the way back to the van admiring the elegance of Southport, before a quick bit of tv and an early night.

Wednesday

Up to get the train into Liverpool. About a 40 minute journey in and when we arrived we headed straight for Mathew Street, home of the Cavern Club. Had a look at the wall of fame outside and the discs to commemorate every Number One hit by a Liverpool group or artist then went down into the depths of the Cavern Club for a drink and listen to a local musician. Loads of memorabilia around the walls and every inch of the brickwork has been signed by visitors.

A lovely time looking round then we came out and headed for Albert Docks. It suddenly got really cold again so we went into the Maritime museum to warm up. Sadly, the Titanic display was closed for work to be done on it but we went round the Museum of slavery and the Lusitania exhibition. A huge place and loads of information. Had lunch in the café there, a bowl of Scouse, a lamb stew served with pickled red cabbage.

We then headed away from the water to Chinatown and the Anglican Cathedral, the biggest in Britain. We found the arch but considering it’s meant to be the largest Chinatown in the country, we couldn’t find much at all, a street of closed restaurants and that was about it.

The cathedral was much more impressive, designed in 1902 by Giles Gilbert Scott whose other claim to fame is as the designer of the red phone box.

A wander back into the city, calling at the Bombed-Out Church, and a last drink to rest our weary legs before heading back on the train to Southport and back to the van.

Thursday

Up in good time to catch the train into Liverpool and get to the Mersey Ferry for the 11am cruise. Just before embarking we strolled to The Beatles statue at the Pier Head and waited our turn for selfies with the Fab Four.

It was cold out on the river but the cruise was the best way possible to see Liverpool’s famous waterfront, including the Three Graces – the Liver building, the Cunard offices and the Port of Liverpool building. Spent about 45 minutes going across and up and down the river, with two stops on the Wirral. Every so often they played a little blast of Ferry Cross the Mersey, which was nice.

Disembarked and made our way back into town, looking around St Nick’s - the fishermen’s church totally rebuilt after all but the spire was destroyed in the war – before stopping off for the first drink of the day at the nearby Pig and Whistle pub. Took time out for a lovely and very filling Chinese buffet meal and then it was off to the Metropolitan cathedral – Paddy’s Wigwam – an absolutely incredible building.

We were amazed to learn that the iconic structure was in fact the third design over many decades. The other two were never built, although the crypt for the second, giant dome design was constructed in the 1930s. It’s the biggest crypt in Britain and it sits underneath a cathedral of a totally different design! Walked all around the outside of the cathedral, looking at the different chapels on the way and seeing the inscribed name of Elizabeth’s grandad, who was the diocese surveyor. Walked on back into Liverpool, stopping at Ma Egerton’s pub, named after a famous theatrical agent and landlady before visiting the statue of Eleanor Rigby near Mathew Street before heading to the Cavern Pub for a drink. Home on the teatime train for cheese rolls, wine, a film, and a very resting bed!

Friday

A well-deserved lie-in today after all our walking. Had a stroll into Southport and a look at the shops then treated ourselves to fish and chips in Spoons. Back to the van for a cup of tea and relax before setting off into Liverpool about 5pm.

Had a drink in The Grapes pub in Mathew Street and then we went to the Beatles show at the Cavern. It’s not in the actual cavern but an underground lounge next door, pretty packed with people of all ages. A good warm-up act of a bloke with a guitar covering lots of stuff by other performers at the Cavern over the years, from Buddy Holly to Queen, who had their first paid gig at the Cavern.

The Beatles came on later and ran through a host of songs with very little chat in between. Paul and John looked very like the originals but it was a good show, people were up and dancing and we left very reluctantly just before the end to catch the penultimate train back to Southport and finally rolled into bed about midnight, weary but happy.

Saturday

A bit of a lie in this morning before catching the train again, this time to head under the Mersey to the Wirral. A very easy transport system and regular trains meant we were soon at Rock Ferry, the nearest station to Prenton Park, the home of Tranmere Rovers.

A 20 minute walk got us to the ground and we picked up our tickets before joining a couple of coach loads of Pompey fans in the Prenton Park pub. We then wandered up to the ground where they have a fan zone, a big marquee outside the ground open to all fans. They have a bar, food, hot drinks, tables, an area for kids to play Fifa and lots of memorabilia. There were loads of families and fans meeting up there and it was a really friendly atmosphere. Probably the only time we will see a football marquee with chandeliers!

A few problems with seating as there were no set seats and the gangways soon filled up, not helped by the steward who just told them to squeeze in where they could! They were soon moved to the edges of the stand by the police and everything settled down to a good game on a pretty ropey pitch. A 2-0 win for Pompey helped us ignore the freezing cold wind and we made a detour on the way home to a pub that had the best toilets in Liverpool. The Philarmonic Dining Rooms pub, beautifully decorated with red marble urinals in the gents, (very ordinary ladies toilets), which is now a Grade 1 listed building.

Back to Southport and a quick steak dinner before a good night’s sleep.

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hide-in-imagination · 5 years

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How did the auditions for your project go?

THAT’S THE FUNNIEST PART! SDKJFNSJK

Okay: Storytime.

We had all planned for our auditions to be Friday. We told everyone to come to our University (which is in the center of Santiago) from 3pm to 8pm. We were supposed to be there until 8, seeing around 20 auditions from people who had emailed us their info.

Thing is, the protests escalated from one moment to another while we were in our audition room. Like, we had just started, we had seen like 3 people when a classmate came in to tell us that shit was going on right outside of our University, that there was a lot of tear gas, that random people was entering the building just to find shelter, etc. It was about 3:30/4pm and we were like whaaatt???

The classroom they gave us to do our auditions is on the -1 floor, so we couldn’t hear anything that was going on in the outside world, but from what that classmate told us, we quickly gathered that we had a problem. If there was tear gas outside, there was less possibility that people were going to come to audition.

By that point, about two lines of metro had been closed down, including the one that led to our University. We started receiving emails from people who wanted to audition but didn’t know how to get there or how to get inside the university because they had closed down the main gates. The only way to enter our university was from the back entrance.

Anyway, we told people that there were buses they could take to get here (again, we didn’t really know the extent of the chaos outside. Marches were very common outside our university and they would always throw tear gas when there was one, so we thought it was kind of the same level as that, nothing too terrible).

By 5pm they told us that the University was going to close down at six. We didn’t know what to do because we had people scheduled to arrive about 7pm but we wouldn’t be able to receive them if they were kicking us out.

In the meantime, we kept going with the auditions, we read the scenes, asked questions, the typical stuff. In between auditions, we would answer emails from many people telling us that they weren’t going to be able to come because of the whole protests going on. We said we understood and that we were probably going to set another date for a second audition.

By six, we were hearing one audition while two other people waited for their turns. We tried to do everything fast because they had told us that we had to get out by 6:30 tops. —We went through the last two, thanked them for coming, and finished exactly at 6:30.

Word had gotten to us that all metro lines were closed down, traffic was jammed everywhere, and that there was a lot of tear gas outside. I called my older sister to see if she could come pick me up in her car but she said the traffic was so horrible that it’d be faster for me to grab an Uber or a cab to get home.

So, I went outside by the back gate, covered my nose with my coat so the tear gas wouldn’t get to me that much, and started walking. I knew I had to put at least some blocks of distance from that place because that’s where everything was going down. I kept heading the opposite direction (also the direction in which my house is) and I couldn’t stop thinking that the whole thing looked like a zombie apocalypse. Cars everywhere, a lot of people walking like a mass down the streets, everyone making calls on their cellphones or making videos of what was happening…

Anyway, the thought of a zombie apocalypse actually calmed me down because I thought “well, compared to that, I’m actually quite safe.” There were no monsters trying to kill us all, I had easy access to water or food if need be, I had my phone with me with GPS and money to call anyone in case of need… Honestly? Things could be worse.

So, I figured all I had to do was walk away from the confrontation points, search for a street that was less jammed than the others, and grab a cab home. So that’s what I did. I walked a loooot. But finally got a cab and got home. During that whole time, my friends and family were more worried about my safety than I was. All I felt while I was sitting in that cab was tired. Then we passed the metro station that is near my house and there were people throwing rocks at a policeman that was trying to take cover behind his car and I was like ‘wow, I can’t believe this is happening so close to my home.’

It all seemed like a movie, you know? Even when I was watching it live, it felt surreal.

Then I got home and all I felt was tired again.

The one good side of all this is that, due to all this, classes have been suspended until Wednesday and an assignment we had due Tuesday has been canceled. I have a test this Thursday that I honestly thought I was going to have no time to study for because I had sooo much stuff to do, but now I have 4 days to read all I have to read for it so… that’s great for me. Actually, I may not even have that test at all considering how things are developing. My older sister doesn’t even want to let me go take the test in case I do have it. She says that she’s not allowing me to go outside until all this calms down, test or no test. I kinda agree.

So… there’s that.

Anyway, our auditions weren’t exactly pointless. We didn’t get to see a lot of people, but we did fall in love with one woman for the female lead, saw about 3 that we liked for the secondary role, and we saw a very good prospect for the male lead. So, there’s that.

#anon #answered #cynthia speaks

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nothing-but-kpop-dreams · 6 years

Text

V Drabble: Just Friends (request) (1/?)

Request: Can I get a request on being Taehyung’s best friend who isn’t girly at all but likes to watch boxing and other rough stuff and she somewhat asks him out on a date but he ends up going out with another person and stands her up....

Author’s note: ... Ok... I really loved writing this and well... I know this wasn’t part of the request BUT I AM GOING TO TURN THIS INTO LIKE A SERIES. Well idk a series, but i am for sure going to add a part or two to this. *but this first part completely fulfills the request*

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 3806

ALL PARTS

It was the usual Friday night and the two of you were kicking off the weekend with the traditional and infamous movie night. You and your best friend, Taehyung, were sitting in a sea of snack wrappers, partially engulfed in the current fight scene from the movie Kickass. The movie was Taehyung’s choice. Being that you demanded the genre of the night be action, the film still had his choice of comedy. So of course he was the one that wouldn't take his eyes off the screen while you couldn’t care less about it and just stole glances at him the whole time.

You and Taehyung had been best friends since high school. It all started when this asshole was making fun of you for wearing a guy’s t-shirt to school. That’s when Taehyung stepped in. He had just so happened to be wearing the exact same t-shirt and used that detail to “explain” that you were both wearing it as part of a couple thing. You had a secret crush on him ever since.

Fast forward almost a decade and here you were with your head rested on his shoulder, but only platonically. For the most part, you were never the nervous or timid type. You weren’t scared to tell people how you felt about them, be it good or bad, but when it came to your one and only Taetae, you were a ball of nerves. Yes, you wanted to tell him how you actually felt about him, but you just couldn’t get yourself to ever do it. It was all because you knew you weren’t his type. Tae liked girly girls, the exact opposite of what you were. You were the rough and tumble type. You kept your hair shorter, barely wore make up, only wore a dress for important occasions, mostly wore what was actually comfortable, played video games, didn't mind getting your hands dirty, never did your nails, you know, the tomboy type. While Tae on the other hand always had crushes on girls who had nice long hair, loved pink, spent all their time and money shopping for clothes, had a face caked with makeup, wore stupid heels and short skirts and tight clothes, were never outside, had long witch nails, and practically showered in expensive perfume and all the other stuff you didn't care too much for.

On top of all that, you never wanted to risk ruining your friendship with him. The two of you had been through so much together. Four years of high school and almost four years of college filled with weekends at each other’s homes, all nighters, video games and deep conversations about stupid relationship drama and you were as tight as friends as you could ever be. You just never wanted to lose someone that meant so much to you.

However as the little girl in the movie, the one with a purple wig, jump kicked some six foot dude, you just had some type of awakening. The two of you were adults now. Feelings like yours wouldn't just come between the two of you especially after years of friendship. Tae wasn't they type of guy to turn his back on you because he has never done it in the past even when you both fought. And so what if you were not his type? The girls he has dated that were “his type” never lasted more than a few months.

With this sudden burst of motivation, you knew it was now or never. You looked up at Tae. A smile grew on his face as the movie came to an end. Just as you were about to open your mouth and reveal the feelings that you had bottled up inside for 8 years, he leaned forward and grabbed the remote… letting your head slide off and pretty much letting the rest of you fall behind him.

“What do you want to see next?” he asked as he looked through the screen for another action movie.

You sat up, fixing your hair and hogging up the blanket that had been covering the two of you. Now that it was the moment of truth, anxiety filled your body and you didn't know how to orient yourself anymore.”....Tae…. Can I talk to you for a second…”

“Yeah, what about?” he asked, not really look at you but instead keeping his eyes focused on looking for another movie.

“Uh… I- uh, - i just like...hm- it’s just-” you couldn't get the words out. you were actually choking. This is what you got for never having a plan.

Tae let out a chuckle. “ You choking on some popcorn or what? Do I gotta go back there and save you?”

“No! It’s just -uh! I just really have to say something but i can't get the right words!” you grunted

With his back still at you he laughed some more “Then just say it!”

“It's just… It’s just that i- I- “

“I- I- i- du- duh- duh-, blah blah.” he mimicked. “Your talking like a baby~!” he turned back at you and pinched your cheeks “C’mon little y/n what do you want to say~” he cooed mockingly

Immediately you slapped his hand away “That i like you!” you blurted in frustration.

His face fell into an expression of shock and confused “What?”

He was the only one in the room, but it felt like you had a million eyes on you. Your stomach was doing flips and the blanket felt like fire. You didn't know you could feel this anxious around him.

“... I like you.” you repeated shyly.

“You like me?”

“... Yeah, like in the more than a friend way.” you specified

“...Oh.” was his only response.

That was when the cliche movie moment of the “ugly feeling in your gut” presented itself. You felt all types of sick. You wanted to throw up the snacks you stuffed your face with an hour ago. The longer he went without saying anything, the more sick you felt. You were so worked up even your eyes were being attacked. With every passing second, your vision was more and more blurry with nervous tears filling your eyes.

He stared back at you intensely, almost panicked. “...Y/n… I don’t know if I like you like that” he said in a hush

That’s it. It was done. Rejection. Actual rejection. “Oh.” was all you could get out but even with such a simple sound your voice cracked.

“But!” he continued. “I never really, like, thought about us in that way, you get me?”

You were doing your best to keep the stupid tears from falling. “Um, no.” you only mumbled at him.

“It’s just like, I’ve only ever seen us as friends, and I like never even thought about us like being more than that.” Those words stung a bit. “So because of that, I like, I just don't know if I like you that way back, since I just never thought of it.” even he seemed as confused as you were about what he had just said.

“So… Are you saying that, um, now that you know, that you’ll think about it now?”

“Uh, yeah! Sure that.”

“...Cool… So uh, would you want to go on a date then?”

“Date?!?”

“Yeah. Like you said, you haven't seen me in that way, so let’s go on a date and see if maybe you can.... It can be a trial date!”

“Um, yeah… yeah we can do that.” he mumbled softly.

“Really?” suddenly you felt on top of the world. “Do you want to go on Sunday? Instead of video games, we can go out to eat or something? How about olive garden? You know cuz it is like kinda fast food but also like wannabe fancy, plus endless breadsticks!”

“Um, yeah, sounds like a plan.” he said as his eyes shifted to his phone. “Oh look at the time. It’s getting kinda late.” he yawned. “I should go back to the dorm already.” he said getting up from the couch.

“Oh, but it’s only 10.” you pointed out grabbing for your own screen.

“Yeah, but remember that new curfew I told you about. Plus my mom is in town and she wants to meet up for breakfast tomorrow. We both know how early she wakes up.”

“Oh well, okay.” you stood up alongside him and followed him to the door. “So when exactly did you want to go? Is 7 a good time?”

“Yeah that's fine.” he mumbled as he slid his shoes on.

“Okay!” you smiled. “I can't wait!”

“Yeah… uh, see you Sunday.” he said, grabbing the door knob and walking out so fast he forgot to give you the usual hug bye. But you didn’t care, you were so happy to actually have a date with him.

--------------

That entire day of Saturday all you could think about was the date. And when that day came and went, it was finally Sunday. It was now 4pm and you were standing in front of your closet in just your underwear debating on what to wear.

You wanted to impress Tae, show him a different side of you, one that could be girly just for him. However, you didn't exactly have the right wardrobe to do that and being the broke college student you were, you didn’t have the finances either. There was just three hours before you had to meet him and you weren't even close to ready so you were definitely in a dramatic panic. You rummaged through every article of clothing in attempts to find something decent enough to be considered feminine in his eyes.

After what felt like days, all you really found was a bright yellow sunflower dress your mom bought you and had forced you to wear to an Easter party like a month ago. You didn’t have many options when it came to shoes. You kind of just liked wearing the same pair of converse every day. The only other pair of shoes you had were some white flats that you used for a job interview… those were good enough. When it came to accessories you were plain and simple, going for the gold heart pendant necklace your friend, Lisa, gave you for your birthday.Hair and make up was another story. Those were never your strong suit, so this is where all your time was eaten up. You fought your hair, doing your best to blow dry and straighten and then curl to try and give it the “natural wave” look. Thankfully your hard work was rewarded with a cute enough hairdo. And thanks to the access to internet, you spent an hour and a half trying to keep up with a ten minute makeup tutorial, but hey anything for Tae.

The bus ride to the olive garden was blur. All you could think about was how the date would go. You couldn't help but daydream about the fun you guys were going to have. You pictured starting off the date with the two of you eating until you were too full to move and then making your way to your favorite arcade to finally try and get enough tickets for the giant stuffed panda you’ve had your eyes on for almost a year.

Before you knew it you were at your stop and standing in front of the olive garden.After waiting just a minute you already kept looking around for Tae.

“Where is he?” you thought as you looked at each passing face

You had gotten there are at around 6:50, now that it was 7, the adrenaline running through you was through the roof, however Tae was nowhere in sight. “Aish, this boy. He can't be on time to save his life.” you laughed to yourself as you continued to wait for him.

After another ten minutes, the stares of the other pedestrians was beginning to annoy you, plus your feet were hurting from standing too long. You decided to go inside and get a table for the two of you. “He should be here any minute anyway.” you thought.

Inside, the kind hostess complimented your dress and led you to a table at the center of the restaurant. She tried to take your order but you let her know that you were waiting for someone.

“Oh ok.’ she smiled. “Did you want me to put the table under your name so they can just say “table for well your name” and I can bring them over?”

“Yeah! Table for y/n. Thank you.”

“Great! I’ll be back later on then, miss y/n.”That’s when you grabbed your phone to text Tae. *Hey. I’m already inside. Just tell them Table for y/n so they can take you to the right one*

You sat patiently with your water, waiting for a reply while the tables around you were filled with more and more people. Still you kept an eye out, but any one that passed by was never him. It wasn't till around 7:30 that you were starting to get a bit worried.

You decided to text him again *Hey. Is everything okay? Why aren't you here yet? Text me back please*

You waited and waited and waited and it was almost 8, but you didn't hear back from him at all. That’s when you decided to call him. You went over by the restrooms. You called, but it only rung until it got to his voicemail.In denial, you sat back at your table to just wait some more.

“Hi again miss y/n.” suddenly the hostess’ voice appeared next to you.

Immediately you looked up, hoping Tae would be besides her. But when you did, she was standing alone.

There was a look of pity on her face and you knew how bad you looked right now. “I don’t know if your um, friend? was still going to make it, but I was curious if you wanted to make your order already?” the pity was all the more obvious by her tone of voice.

You stared at her for a moment, debating whether you should just walk out now, but she was so nice. If you walked out now the other customers might think she was being rude to you or something of the sort, or she might get in trouble for letting a potential customer leave.

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat. “Um, they just let me know they couldn't make it after all, but I’m starving, can I get a plate of chicken alfredo?”

“Gladly!”

So you continued to sit around and eat all by yourself like an idiot. You got all dressed up for nothing, made your way across town for nothing, waited around for an hour for nothing.

Yes, you were extremely upset, but you were sad more than anything. The one thing that kept you from bursting into tears was the fact that Tae wouldn’t just ditch you for no reason.

“Something probably came up.” you thought as you dragged yourself out of the place after your sad meal. “His parents are around for the weekend, so maybe they didn't let him leave so they could be with him more?”

You continued to drag your feet as you walked through downtown. The last thing you wanted to do was go home and be alone with your thoughts. The lights of the city were a good enough distraction.Being girly really isn't your thing. The back of your flats were digging into the back of your heels. You could already feel your skin getting tender with every step, but you didn't care. Neither did you care for the staring pedestrians who were very much distracted by your outfit. Yes, you were very out of place with what you wore. Your bright yellow dress really clashed with the pink and red neon signs that surrounded you. Plus, everyone else was wearing club clothes while you looked like you were going to a church party. But just like with your flats, you didn't care.

You just walked and walked and walked.You passed some pretty interesting places on your walk. You kept down a mental list of some that you would like to go to when you had the time and money. There were alot of clubs and tattoo parlors and psychic reading places, a ton of restaurants and food carts and some cute little stores.

Despite the countless distractions, the universe just seemed to hate you. Couple after lovey dovey couple passed you. They all were holding hands and hugging or make out obnoxiously against the wall. When you were passing the theater, it was like walking past a high school. Couples lined the walls cuddling or making out.

One couple in particular caught your attention. It was a tall dude and his girl. From just seeing his back, the guy’s physique was a lot like Tae’s, he even dressed the same as him too. He was just looking down at his date or girlfriend or whatever she was. She had just the tightest pink dress and despite her four inch heels she was still way shorter than him. She had long flowy brown hair. Her makeup was perfect, not too much but just the right amount. Her body was curvy and toned. She was everything you wanted to be for Tae.

Yes you were being a creep just staring at this couple from a few feet away, but you kept on staring until they inevitably started kissing. It didn't last too long though. They soon interlocked hands and turned to make their way in the direction you had been coming from.

When you saw the guys’ face, that same ugly feeling came back to you. That “random” dude was really your “best friend”. Your Taetae was holding hands with and making out with some girl (who he never even brought up before) when he was supposed to be with you. You almost couldn't believe it. It didn't feel real. Your best friend wouldn’t do this to you. He wasn't the type of person to only bail but he would never in a million years not tell you about having someone in his life. He always used to tell you about his crushes or the dates he went on. But when his eyes locked on you and you saw his face fall, you knew this was actually happening.

Tae’s eyes scanned you head to toe, almost like he didn't really recognize you, but as soon as it hit him, he let go of the girls hand. “Y/n?”

A fiery rage filled you and you marched your way up to him. “So this is why you didn't meet up with me?!?”

“Listen I- I can explain.” he started.His “date” only stood confused and slightly frightened.“I was waiting for you like a fucking idiot for a fucking hour!” you shouted.

“Y/n calm down”

“No! I wasted my fucking time for you just for you to bail on me and go off with someone else.”

“Um are you his girlfriend?” the girl in the dress butted in.

“She isn't” he answered.

His words, although the truth, stung when you heard them leave his mouth

“Oh fuck no. I was his best friend that he was supposed to meet up for date, but he decided to come here with you.” you did your best to not bite the girl’s head off. This wasn't her fault, Tae was the one to blame. “But it seems like the two of you are having a good time so i’m just gonna go. I know when i'm not wanted.” you growled locking your eyes on the boy you thought you knew.

“Y/n, y/n wait.” you heard him call after you when you tried to make your escape.

He grabbed ahold of your shoulder and that’s when you spun back around to face him. “Don’t touch me!” you spat.

“Look i’m sorry alright!”

“You’re sorry? You think an “I’m sorry” is going to fix everything?!?”

“No but-”

“You had me waiting at a stupid ass olive garden for almost 2 hours! Do you have any idea how excited i was for you to meet up with me? Do you have any idea how hurt i feel right now? I sat all by myself in a restaurant just waiting and waiting and waiting and for nothing. The whole time i was there i could feel everyone else staring at me knowing that i got stood up. Tae you are supposed to be my friend! How could you do that to me?” now was when the water works hit. The makeup you had worked so hard on was quickly getting ruined by your stupid tears.

“I didn't mean to.” was all he could say

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?!? If you didn't mean to, you would have gone! Or you would have replied back to me that you weren’t going to go to begin with!”

“I didn't go because I don't like you back alright!.” he admitted. “I didn't want to go and get your hopes up. Y/n, we have been friends for years. I love you, but not the way you love me. I see you like my sister.”

“So why didn't you tell me that before?!?”

“Because i didn't want to hurt your feelings.”

You couldn't help but let out an ironic chuckle. You looked back at him, the image of his face completely distorted with your tears. “Well how do you think i feel now?”

Tae stayed quiet. He had nothing else to say.

You continued to glare at him, noticing his own eyes getting watery

“Y/n, I’m sorry.”

“Just fuck off Tae.” you huffed before you turned around and walked away.

You stampeded your way without any sense of direction. Your vision was a blur and you walked every which way to try and lose tae in the crowd. You could hear his voice trailing behind you, but you didn't stop waking till you couldn't hear him anymore.

Instead what you began to hear was “Woah is she crying?” “Why is she crying?” “Is she okay?” “Lady you okay?” From the people you accidentally bumped into.

You couldn't handle the people anymore. All you wanted to do was go home and cry in peace, but you didn't know exactly where you were.

When the opportunity presented itself, you ran off into an empty alley and cried your heart out.

It was around 10 at night and you were squatted behind a stinky dumpster. Heartbroken and alone, this was the highlight of your night.

But that changed when you heard a voice call out to you “Y/n?”

-Admin Boat

So school started for me so idk when i will get around to posting any of the follwoing parts to this but they will be up later on

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guylty · 5 years

Text

It’s time to come to a proper run-through of last month’s Red Dragon Con 5 in London. Kate already wrote at length about the decision process and the run-up to the con on her blog last week. I’m afraid, I didn’t have that many qualms. When the news came through that Richard was going to attend the con, I was on those tickets as fast as you can say “Dolarhyde”. Not because of Hannibal, the fannibals or any previous con experience. In fact I had never been to a con before – and if truth be told, I never really wanted to go to a con before. But after checking the con ticket prices and making sure that flights to London in February are generally slow sellers, I reckoned that it was worth investing in it – even if only to witness the potentially one and only ever con attendance of Mr Armitage. Who knew whether this kind of event would ever happen again – with RA, that is? He had been rather shy about attending cons in the past, so this could easily be a once-off. Enough reason for me to see for myself, especially as I had experienced the fannibals as a very welcoming, nice fandom back in 2015 when Hannibal was on air. However, I was rather relieved that not only one but two of my fandom friends agreed to join me in London – Kate and Hariclea.

RA is definitely my Waterloo…

What more or less passed me by was Kate’s long battle in January with a very persistent cold that almost had her cancel her participation. We did, however, lose Hariclea as a co-con companion, as sadly, Hariclea’s mum passed away a couple of days before the event and she understandably had to cancel her attendance to go home. Nevertheless, on Friday morning, I took the early morning flight to LCR to get a few hours of exhibition hopping in before I was going to meet Kate. I made my way out to Heathrow to meet Kate in the hotel she had kindly booked. Sharing a hotel room with a stranger I had only known online and barely seen a photograph of? Of course – I have only ever met nice people through my fangirling activities. Plus, she was taking the same risk *grins*. I took the Piccadilly Line out towards Heathrow, got off at Hatton Cross, hopped on a bus, got off at the edge of the Heathrow runway, walked through a rather cold, grey, wet London day and kind of chuckled when I saw the hotel was right next to a bowling alley. Well, just in case that whole con malarkey didn’t work out we at least had some alternative entertainment…

Fuck it, Dude. Let’s go bowling!

I can tell you, there was a certain amount of excitement as I made my way to room 156 where my conspirator was already waiting for me, having checked in an hour earlier. If I hadn’t stopped smoking last November, I would’ve had a couple of rollies to calm down the nerves. (cf. a previous meeting also involving a hotel way back in 2014. I see a theme developing here…) As it was, I didn’t need any rollies. Kate opened the door, I said hi, we hugged – and we launched into a very comfortable friendship right there and then. Let me tell you, the woman is tolerant, witty and easy-going, ignoring my moody nonsense and providing the funniest comparisons from here to the Antipodes and back. We seemed to be pretty much on the same wave-length with everything over the weekend – from party attendance to fannibal defending to beddie times. Kate had me in stitches with her quips, and that alone made for three of the happiest, most carefree days of my life.

N/C

Registration

So, with the basics basically out of the way, we were looking forward to the weekend, con novices that we were. The con was billed to start at 4pm on Friday with registration. Since we had opted to stay in a hotel about 15 minutes away from the con venue, we decided to head over to the Renaissance hotel for a bit of re-con – and a bite to eat – in advance of the 4pm registration. Much to our surprise, a queue had already formed when we entered the lobby of the Renaissance hotel at about 3pm. We joined the queue – an exercise that would prove to be event-defining for the rest of the weekend… At the end of the queue we registered and received our dog tags badges for the event.

Totally reconciled with the fact that Gold tickets were sold out: Regular tickets were adorned with the Armitage. ‘A beautiful rear can also endear’ etc.

Thanks to some prior research we had also a) brought lanyards (so didn’t have to buy any) and b) signed up for stewarding at the con. Except that while Kate’s application as a volunteer had been accepted, I had never heard back from them. Kate encouraged me to try and get into stewarding nonetheless – which I did and was also “ennobled” as a con steward. This proved very useful later on. In various respects.

But first of all Kate and I finally got something to eat in the bar – and had our first *real* encounter with a fannibal, a lovely woman from Germany called Johanna, who really and totally set the tone and the bar for all subsequent interactions with the Hannibal fandom. There is next to no chance that she is ever going to see this, but if you know her, please let her know: Johanna, if you are reading this – thank you for being so kind, so funny, so encouraging. You really make a fantastic figurehead for your fandom. I enjoyed meeting you, and I regret not having bumped into you again! – You would think that you can’t lose your companions in a hotel – but you can. A lot of the communication and arranging of meetings was conducted via text message and/or Twitter DM that weekend. And that includes my roomie Kate and I. Yep, there were various instances where we had to call each other on the phone to locate each other in the hotel. Mad! Luckily fellow fan armidreamer and I had also exchanged phone numbers, and so I was able to hook up with her on Friday, too, and we ended up meeting all through the weekend. The more the merrier, right?

Anyway, the queuing continued, this time for the various extras one could splash out on. Photo ops and autographs are the big draw at cons, and I suspect it is where a lot of extra money is actually being made. Coming to RDC5, I had no intention of getting anything beyond the one autograph that was included in my ticket already. When Kate said that she was going to get a photo done, I was still undecided. However, you can’t just rock up at the photo (or autograph) sessions at these cons. Rather, you buy a voucher that entitles you to a photo shoot or an autograph. And so I decided to play it safe and bought a photo voucher – just in case. More about the whole photo saga later. And believe me, it’s a saga. If I knew it would be, I wouldn’t have bothered. I am still embarrassed. Like many other people I also had huge reservations about paying hefty prices for an autograph. Especially as autographs actually do not mean that much to me *personally*. I own a few already (personalised and unpersonalised, on photos, programmes and tickets – heck, I even have a silver “RA” on my beloved Pop!Thorin – see picture right), and I never had to pay for any of them. But then I thought I’d better use the opportunity and get a couple of autographs signed for future auctions – my donation, so to speak. And I also wanted to get a souvenir for Hariclea as a tiny little consolation for missing the con… So, whoa, 85 GBP went out the window there… (1 photo + 2 autographs). Seriously, I do hope that Richard also got a cut of that! Yep, I am still reeling myself. Don’t tell Mr Guylty, or this marriage is over! However, I’d ask you all to not be judgmental about this. Not that I mind if you were judgmental to *me* about this – I used to be the same for a long time. So, serves me right. But the other fans do not deserve any derision. There is much some to be said for and about these paid photo ops and autographs, the people who provide them and the people who buy them. And I will get to that in due course. Suffice to say that, with all that queuing done, it was already time to gather in the main hall for the big event of the day – the Opening Ceremony. Were we going to get our first glimpse of Richard?

Opening Ceremony

Remember I said it would prove useful to sign up as a volunteer at the con? Well, we realised that when we walked into the main hall for the opening ceremony. Not sure how many rows there were in total, but the first ten rows or so of the auditorium were completely occupied already, as were the last ten. No coincidence: The first few rows were reserved for Gold ticket holders! (If you were admiring those fabulous photos of Richard taken at the con – those came from Gold ticket holders who were really quite close up to him and the other guests.) Regular ticket holders had to sit at the back. There was only a small number of rows in between that still had empty seats – and they turned out to be reserved for the stewards!! So we quickly brandished our steward badges and bagged some seats half way back the auditorium. Definitely worth while volunteering – not least because it looked as if there were not enough seats for the regular ticket holders for whom extra chairs were added at the back of the hall. Anyway, this was our view:

The red and black dot on the stage is Jeremy Davies (played a character called Peter Bernadone in Hannibal). He was the first guest to be called onto the stage, and you get an idea how many people were there and how far back we were sitting – despite our privileged steward seats… After Davies, two more guests were announced, namely Aaron Abrams and Scott Thompson. They were the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of Hannibal (playing a bit of a comedic duo, crime scene investigators Brian Zeller and Jimmy Price) and absolute fan favourites. (You may also remember Scott Thompson from the Hannibal aftershows “Post Mortem”.) I very much warmed to them, too. (More about that in a later post.)

And finally, finally… Look at the picture above again. See the screen on the right? And further right to that, the double doors? That’s where the guests were ushered in, and wow, like at every other event I have ever seen RA live at, it gave me a total jolt to the stomach when I spotted RA there, beside the stage, waiting to be called… He couldn’t help but mess around before he was introduced and made funny shadow shapes behind the screen… Don’t you just have to love him…? I really dislike the word dork, but he really is a messer! You’ve already seen some of my pictures of the event, so I’ll put a slide show in here with the whole, unedited shebang – sorry, really not great, but just for the record.

The Complete and Unedited Pictures of RA at the Opening Ceremony

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This whole solo appearance lasted for the tiny eternity of 2 minutes, btw! As the second billed guest RA received a lot of cheering and clapping – he was the eponymous Red Dragon, after all – but not as much as Mads Mikkelsen, understandably. He looked absolutely gorgeous on stage though, not least because he was casually dressed all in black with tighty black jeans, a comfy hoodie and a leather jacket. All of the guests had directed a few words at the audience, but RA really made a nice little welcome speech that seemed a bit longer. “Some of you travelled far and braved the weather, congratulations. I didn’t have to because this is my home.” etc. He also could not resist a comment about the flower crowns referring to them as “flower heads” (although one of the previous guests – Aaron? – had used the term before), no comment 😁. His toned down facial shrubbery that was more like a slightly neglected lawn of wild flowers than a full-blown hayfield, looked rather good from far away. And from closer up, even more so, I suppose…

(See the edited pics of the opening ceremony in bigger version in part 2 of my RDC5 series.)

I have to say that I thought RA looked and sounded like a complete pro in those two minutes he had on stage. His ex tempore speech was just perfect for the occasion – welcoming people, referring to the actual day (by way of weather – so English *haha*), throwing in a little personal admission (“I’m at home”) and spreading a bit of fun with his gentle teasing re. flower heads. So yeah, I thought he came across as a confident and self-assured, a bit curious and wide-eyed about the whole event he was finding himself at, but willing to go on the journey. Again, I felt as if he really set the tone there, opening up and signalling that he was here to experience this and that he was willing to have fun. Thumbs up. Finding out that his appearance on stage only lasted 2 minutes, really surprised me. At the time, it felt much longer. But yeah, maybe time stands still whenever the master himself turns up in RL *hehe*…

Anyway, RA was then followed by the star of the con, Mads Mikkelsen. Again, he also made a lovely little intro speech, and I have to say I was very much impressed by the resounding and warm applause that he was welcomed with. You could tell that the fannibals were absolutely ecstatic to have Mads at the con. They didn’t hold back, and those kind of open admissions of love and admiration were something I really, really loved seeing all through the weekend. – After Mads had been introduced, all guests returned to the stage again. As part of the whole group, Richard looked slightly shy and awkward on stage, I thought. Not quite in his element. He was definitely the tallest of all guests, yet even as it was happening and I hadn’t even yet seen any photos of the event, it occurred to me that he looked as if he wanted to blend into the background. Up to his usual modesty, I guess, he was kind of standing one step behind all the others, kind of slouching a bit, with his hands in his pockets and his head all the way down to his shoulders. I haven’t really got any pictures of my own showing all of the guests standing there on stage, but yeah, my heart broke a little bit there – whether it was for a gorgeous guy making himself small and invisible, or for a gorgeous guy being modest and humble, it definitely added to his attraction. However, it also added to the danger of succumbing to APM…

Anyway, believe it or not, it was all a good start to the whole experience. Nice fannibals, nice fellow fans, nice roomie, nice guests, nice RA. The opening ceremony was just half an hour long or so, then the guests were all whisked away and the room emptied. We were basically done for the day. For the Gold ticket holders, it was only just getting interested though: They actually had a meet & greet with the guests – which Richard apparently was a great hit at, according to the tweets that I saw. Ourselves, Kate and I kind of hung around, thinking we might have a look at the promised party. But then we both kind of folded at about 9pm and decided to go back to our hotel instead. It had been a long, exhausting day – with both of us travelling from a different country, finding our way to our hotel, meeting each other, negotiating our way around the event – and dealing with the accelerated heart rate of being in the vicinity of the OOA… No wonder we thought we needed to lie down.

In the end, we actually ended up chatting until after midnight. The amount of processing to be done when seeing RA in the flesh *haha*… And that was only after half a day of con life… We had no idea what was going to hit us the next day…

An Armitage Fan at #RDC5 – FRIDAY [part 7 of the whole saga otherwise] It's time to come to a proper run-through of last month's Red Dragon Con 5 in London.

#Francis Dolarhyde #Hannibal #rdc5 #Red Dragon #Richard Armitage

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