#and then AI dad fucks off to the future

[chesacakeripper]

"When it said my name using his voice and wearing his face-"

WHO THE FUCK WAS GOING TO TELL ME POKEMON VIOLET WAS A SCIFI HORROR Jesus H ChrIST

[yomiel]

spent over an hour on a tera raid bc i kept getting cruddy teammates and clodsire cant solo kill. in my defense a grass tera type coalossal with flash fire is so cool! also speaking of scvi what the fuck was with the ending in regards to arven like are we not gonna address any of that? hold on lemme rant in the tags for a sec

[kingly-genderfluid]

Well.

I have a shit relationship with my dad. He openly expresses how AI can AND WILL, replace writers.

Which is horrid, considering that his “straight catholic and cisgender female” daughter is currently working on a book of their own.

he invited me for dinner, and conversation got…

heated.

mom and little brother stayed out of it-wisely so.

so he openly tells me, “Look, I can openly type out a prompt, and Chat GPT will just write it for me.”

I should have kept a cool head, but I yelled. I think a neighbour heard me.

I kept shutting down his remarks about how my writing wouldn’t matter because of AI.

so. I’m at war. A very. Very. Important war. For the future of all writers, and artists alike. If I don’t start shutting off this thinking from my own home, the world will begin believing that AI can solve HUMAN PROBLEMS. AI leeches off what humans create. What we worked so hard to do. The hours we took to make people cry, get angry, or be happy.

AI doesn’t even pay workers. AI can’t comfort someone with ALGORITHM. AI can’t do anything without someone already having done it. AI can’t make anything relatable, because it’s a BOT. Since when do BOTS, feel HUMAN emotion.

sometimes the information isn’t even right.

So I’m at war.

I support the writers guild.

I support ANY struggling writer, going against the current of AI.

Fuck it, we ball.

kids who love to write-AND IVE SEEN THESE KIDS WITH A BURNING PASSION FOR THE ART OF LANGUAGE, I WAS ONE OF THEM TOO-they are about to get their dreams to make someone see their vision, their imagination, stripped away from them. Because of bots.

they can assist with creativity, maybe. Fixing up a few mishaps in grammar. That’s all they’re good for. You can’t make a movie without the vision of a human behind it.

watermark your arts.

I don’t know how to protect your fan fiction, but we’re going to do our best.

This is my mini war.

might be a bigger one.

who knows ;)

[b4tasquad]

hi! i love your imagines by the way, they're really good!

going off the whole ai photos that sharky and chunkz posted that gave us all baby fever, do you think the boys would be girl dads or boy dads and what do you think they'd be like as a parents??

Boy dads or girl dads:

First of all, thank you so much🫶 really glad you like them. Second, this is just randomly picked you could say lmao🤣

Kenny: can imagine him being a boy’s dad simply because he’d want a mini him. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think he cares if it’s a girl or boy, but I think he’d be happy to have someone so alike him.

He’d teach his son boxing, showing him fights from the moment his eyes opened. You’d tell him no, and how your son shouldn’t be exposed to it so early, but Kenny insists. “Gotta teach them young” he’d always tell you.

Sharky: can’t really pick when it comes to sharky. He’d be good with both a girl and a boy, and I don’t really think the gender’s something that really fazes him? (If he hasn’t said something else lmao.) maybe a slight girl dad?

And as a parent, sharky would definitely be the calm one. Not like the kinda dad’s that actually just don’t give a fuck and leave everything in the hands of the mother, but more like a dad who listens and calmly explains.

Aj: GIRLS DAD. He’s a girl’s dad and no one can convince me otherwise. He’d be so protective and caring of a girl, and even though he’d want a boy in the future probably, Aj would be such a sweet girl’s dad.

He’d be the type of father to be so protective of his daughter, specially when it comes to dating. He’d scare away all the little guys trying to talk to your daughter and you’d tell him that they’re bound to get a significant other some time and that he just has to let them. He obviously doesn’t listen.

Chunkz:

Girls. Girls. Girls. Have you guys seen him with his nieces??? Omg so precious. Chunkz just screams Dad who puts his daughter’s hair in terrible styles.

Can imagine him teaching his daughter sport at a young age and just going to play football with her on the weekends, bringing her to games and just surprising her with everything she loves. You’d tell him not to spoil her all the time but he just couldn’t help himself.

Niko:

I’m gonna say boy’s dad simply because of that one video on footasylum ( the one where he was helping that kid) OMD i was crying at how precious and genuinely happy he looked to be with the boy.

As a father he’d make the WORST jokes. Literally soooooo bad you’re embarrassed of other people hearing, and you’re kids are just pretending not to know him. And he’d go “what? That was a good one.”

[my-mt-heart]

I obviously haven’t been very stoked about a lot of choices this first season—the opposite if I’m being honest—but when I first listened to the radio scene, it felt like a reprieve from those feelings. Norman’s performance is perfect. I could sense his urgency to get a hold of Carol, and of course once he does, his tone melts into something much softer, something we know he reserves only for her. I appreciate the long pauses he takes to study her voice. He hears something in her words that we don’t (🤨). He worries that maybe she’s not really okay.

Carol’s line “you never need to worry about me, Daryl” makes me think back to her “I love you too” in the series finale, or more specifically the weightlessness of it. Melissa said it was Carol’s way of taking care of Daryl. She wanted to make it easier for him to leave, and at first, I wondered if this time was supposed to represent more of the same. We understand why Daryl sounds excited because we have the privilege of reading his body language. Maybe when Carol hears it, she thinks he’s enjoying himself out there. Maybe she's reluctant to admit how much she misses him because she doesn't want to take him away from where he really belongs.

Here’s where I’m struggling though. Theoretically, Melissa would’ve had Norman’s footage to play off of while she recorded her side of the conversation. That's how it's typically done. We know both of them always play off each other brilliantly. We’ve seen it countless times. It’s why their chemistry works. It’s why we ship them. But in this scene, I'm not getting any of that. There’s no emotion behind the words, none of Melissa's nuances, and the more I listen to it, the more I realize it isn’t Melissa’s voice at all. It really pains me to say it, but it sounds like AI.

If that’s true, then you'll have to be patient with me while I take the time to fully process my feelings about it. After everything—booting Melissa from the show in the first place and then gaslighting her fans about it—AMC wants to use a copout loophole in Melissa's contract (what many actors have had in their contracts hence the need for a strike) to jeopardize Melissa's integrity, deny everybody what they've had to wait a long time for, Melissa, and cheapen what could've been the most impactful scene of the season? Are you fucking kidding me? That’s just lazy, manipulative, disrespectful, and infuriating.

I was really excited to analyze a new Caryl scene today. Believe it or not, I don't want to keep hating on the show. I want to enjoy my two favorite characters, but as others have said, I’m tired of bending over backwards to arrive at some—any—hopeful conclusion about Caryl’s future. It’s hard enough when the writing is as inconsistent as it has been, but now AI is involved? No one should have to exert energy on analyzing a performance that doesn't exist. It's a poor reflection of Melissa's talent and a huge disservice to Caryl's story. I'm heartbroken.

Good to see her trending though. She deserves all the love she's getting today.

On another note, because I don't want to make a separate post about it, I also watched the scene where Daryl gets mad at Laurent. **TRIGGER WARNING*** As someone who grew up in a very "loud" household and experienced PTSD from it, I wasn't put off by the anger. I understand Daryl wants to go home, and the kid ruined what seemed like his only chance. It's the name-calling and Daryl putting his hands on Laurent that specifically crossed the line for me. The show is clearly trying to force Daryl to draw comparisons between him and his dad, but this feels like something Daryl has already worked through on the flagship show. The moment he saw Carol flinch on the farm, he knew he wanted to be different. Carol and TF helped him be different. He is different. He doesn't need to prove that to himself or anyone else anymore. Enough of the character regressions.

[chaos-cousins]

Good news! Johanna and I defeated the Paradise Protection Protocol, and AI Turo wasn't as damaged as he initially appeared to be!

Bad news! He is connected to the time machine. We cannot shut it down with him present.

Good news! We don't have to kill him!

Bad news! He's going to lock himself in the future with no way of coming back. Also told Arven just now that his dad really did love him all along, which. Really. Right before you decide to fuck off into the future forever?

Ugh. What a mess.

[deadinyourarea]

If Tony stark was real and wanted to adopt you, would you let him?

The fan in me wants to say yes but that singular braincell of mine is actually working and it’s saying no.

so… technically not a no. A solid maybe, perhaps.

like, so much access to cool tech- the future of technology really. An entire lab and then some. AI! AI that isn’t some trashy shitty steal-art-and-stuff from real people but actual AI that even gains sentience.

also he’s fucking iron man.

but-

it also depends on the time period. Heavily.

like before having his daughter and mentoring Spider-Man, he gave off big “I’d be a horrible dad” vibes. Didn’t he literally like, care for that one kid and then just up and leave. And then the next time we see that kid is at his fuckin funeral? Wild.

also every villain ever knows where you live, HIS NAME IS ON THE BUILDING. Well, at some point it’s not but you get the gist.

he just feels very “tries to be a good dad but doesn’t even know what a real good dad is. So his bonding strategies are to give you money and confidence along with his attention but he’s horrible at emotional stuff. Having a breakdown? Damn shawty, you shit out of luck. Want a blueberry?”

[ellieellieoxenfree]

a thing that i genuinely fucking adore about kiseki and that i always have rotating rotisserie-style in my brain is how much trauma and abandonment informs the behaviors and beliefs of the core four. each of them was abandoned or hurt by a parental figure -- via death, via abuse, via addiction -- and the families and lives they built in the aftermath are informed by that specific pain. zong yi and chen yi are both very focused on their ambitions and staying the course and rushing into an accelerated adulthood while containing their emotions safely under wraps. but even then, zong yi is just focused on learning how to provide and be responsible because he has people who still unconditionally support and rely on him and he's thus able to be the most well-adjusted; chen yi doesn't know how to live a life without danger (to himself, to yiyun meng, to ai di) and has no real sense of safety or stability. he's always chasing that hero-worship model of adulthood because he doesn't know how to be his own style of leader and being the mirror image of chen dong yang is going to give him the closest approximation of a sense of safety. he relied on CDY growing up and he believes that mimicking his boss is going to soothe his own terror at living in a fundamentally unstable, out-of-control world.

ai di, of course, was born with emotional instability due to his mother's drug use, so he never had a chance. like chen yi, who was orphaned at an early age, he never had the sense of stability of even one loving caretaker, and CDY doesn't exactly give off the nurturing dad vibes. chen yi was forced into a caretaking role for a close-to-death feral little kid, and he had no one to model affection for him. he did the best he could, and he does succeed in being protection and safe haven for ai di, but he's never had a chance to process and navigate the emotional complexities of burgeoning adulthood and romance. (ai di is, in many ways, similar to macau from KP, i think -- starving for attention and affection that their broken older sibling figures can only give so much of. both vegas and chen yi try mightily to give them the chances they didn't get, but they were equally failed first.) so ai di has the advantage of having a slightly safer space to begin spreading out his messy emotions, but he doesn't know how to really express them in healthy ways (hence his self-destructive attention-seeking behavior).

ze rui is the outlier in many ways -- he doesn't fit in zong yi's world, but he doesn't fit in chen yi's and ai di's, either. as ai di points out to him, he still fears death. he's got his feet wet in the mafia world, but he doesn't have the commitment. he's not as trapped there. he can slide more seamlessly, if awkwardly, into the real world (such as at zong yi's school; he's clumsy and it's played for laughs, but he's old enough and poised enough to keep the ruse semi-on the rails, whereas ai di's prickly, itchy energy makes it a lot harder for him to easily ingratiate). he has somewhere to go home to, both literally in the sense of his apartment, and more figuratively, in the sense of his vile family unit that wants to use him as a pawn for the business. he's more or less kept on ice as a second-best option, told he can be trotted out when he's useful, but slapped down at any moment where he might dare to outshine his brother. of all the four, he's the one in the most gilded cage. zong yi is in a prison of poverty; chen yi and ai di are trapped in a cycle of violence and death. they contain themselves into their own self-created, pre-determined paths. zong yi has no choice but to go to med school and become a family provider. he knows he'll be a workhorse forever. chen yi and ai di have the blackly comic life of wondering if they'll even both be alive on their next birthdays, and they alternately chafe at that and welcome it. ze rui has a financially advantageous future, if he'll continue being a loyal pet of the same people who ruthlessly crushed the independence and ambition and self-esteem out of him from childhood on.

it's just such a crunchy show with so much to really dig into and pick apart at the marrow. i'm fascinated with how everyone starts at a similar point (parental failures) and spirals out in vastly different ways. sometimes they parallel each other, sometimes they intersect, and sometimes they diverge into wildly different paths. there are so many rich veins to mine (and that's not even touching a lot of the traumas inflicted in canon, for fuck's sake) and it's so refreshing to see a show about trauma and healing that doesn't manage to disrespectfully screw over its characters in the eleventh hour.

[jaylienpotter]

Rant:

I'm fucking pissed. My dad starts a conversation by saying he now understands what I mean by AI is replacing writers. Because - this is the best part* - he bought, BOUGHT an AI program that writes posts for his blog, generating the text, images, etc. HE FUCKING BOUGHT IT. I said I disagreed with him endulging with the AI companies and he doesn't care! Even if he is now FULLY AWARE that it takes away jobs from writers! WHILST I AM ONE! My mind has been set on wanting to make a living off writing since I was 12!!! And he's just going to make that future harder for me?! Fuck him, honestly.

*sarcasm

[leebrontide]

Secondhand Origin Stories, Chapter 11

My favorite chapter! Secrets are revealed! Blushing is severe! Siblings act very sibling-y! There’s poker!

For those of you just joining us, I'm posting a chapter a week of my free near future scifi/low neon cyberpunk YA/NA novel, Secondhand Origin Stories, which has been described as

"-a character driven, compelling story full of family, queerness, corruption, brain altering nanites, secretly teen parenting AIs, and taking aspects of the superhero genre to their very human and rarely-explored natural conclusions."

For an index of already uploaded chapters that hopefully I will remember to update, content warnings and more, check here:

You can follow along by following #SHOSweekly

Chapter 11

     OK, this was not an apartment. 

But Issac kind of liked it. It was so obscure, so hidden. It felt like the kind of place a spy in a movie might lay low in for a few days while the heat died down. Just what the doctor ordered. Two secondhand sofas and four secondhand beds-- it sort of reminded him of the safe room in the sub-basement back home, but with better lighting. Opal’s cousin had refused Issac’s offer to pay rent once his signing bonus came through. But Issac would have to see about that, once he actually had some money.

Issac eyed Jamie. She looked exhausted, and droopy in a way he wasn’t used to seeing from her unless she was sick. She dropped onto the edge of the bed nearest the door and looked around. She didn’t look at Issac.  

Opal leaned against the back of one of the couches, an outdated floral number. OPAL: So, welcome to the VIP suite. Usually it’s for Aldis’s VIP clients-- the one’s who’re leaving an abusive situation and might need a place to crash. I’m kind of the weird exception… She trailed off, awkwardly.

Yael looked absolutely morose, and sat next to Jamie. A little closer than normal. Hovering. YAEL: Is that why he agreed to let us stay here?

Jamie straightened. JAMIE: What. No. That’s not. No.

YAEL: What do you mean “no”?

OPAL: Kind of? I mean, I couldn’t get him any details, not that I would have, but… 

Jamie stood up, red in the face. JAMIE: Then we should go. We’re here under false pretenses.

YAEL: Just because I stopped him before he could JAMIE: He wasn’t going to! OPAL: Hey, it’s not a big deal--

Issac put extra breath into his interruption. “Seriously, what the hell happened? What is going on? Cause this looks way worse than it can be. You guys are freaking me out.”

YAEL:Yourfather’slostitandIhadtointerceedeJAMIE:Thatisn’twhathappenedYaelYAEL:howcanyouJAMIE:stopactinglikeYAEL:saythatyouwerethere

Issac shut his eyes. “Guys, shut up!” He waited another second. Jamie and Yael were both glaring, barely able to stay quiet, but the text had stopped scrolling. “When you go that fast, I can’t keep up. Stop talking over each other. It fucks up my software.”

YAEL:NeilwasJAMIE:Yaelyourejumping-- They cut off, looking at each other. Jamie crossed her arms and jutted out her chin. Yael wasn’t happy about it, but xe gestured at Jamie to go ahead.

Now Jamie stalled. She looked at Issac, then at Opal. She moved forward to the very edge of the bed, looking at her fists on her knees for a second, then at Issac. JAMIE: Dad freaked out. He didn’t know what happened. He knew I was involved. 

YAEL: He blamed you.

JAMIE: Well, I did let it happen! And so did you. Jamie spat, as defiant as Issac had ever seen her.

OPAL: That seems like kind of a messed up way to think about it.

Jamie’s expression turned wry. JAMIE: Don’t worry. I blame Issac, too. She looked at him. She was trying to be cold, but it just didn’t work on her. Never. Again.

Issac rolled his eyes. Found his mind veering away from the trial, and the possibility of a second one. “None of that explains Dad having a broken clavicle.”

JAMIE: Yael freaked out worse than Dad.

YAEL: I was protecting you! Xyr hands were silver. Xe looked at Issac imploringly, trying to find an ally.

“From what?”

YAEL: He lunged at her!

JAMIE: Towards me. Jamie held up her arm in a strange position, as if showing off the back of her wrist. It took him a moment to recognize the glinting blue metal. And obviously, I can protect myself if I actually need to.

“Is that-- shit! Jamie! Did you take that from Jenna’s apartment?” 

JAMIE: Mom and Dad gave it to me. Because they want me to be safe. Jamie answered. Her posture dared him to interpret it any other way.

Things were tense-- even moreso since the attack, but for it to escalate to violence and weapons?

The craters in his bedroom floor…

Maybe Issac should have left sooner. 

It didn’t seem possible. Didn’t seem real. But even Jamie’s less-horrible version was still horrible. And Issac had always trusted Yael’s assessments of danger. He looked at xyr. “Are you OK?” he asked cautiously.

Yael nodded, shoulders hunched inward. YAEL: He didn’t hit me. Only pushed. I’m not hurt. Xe watched him, assessing and anxious. Are you?

Jamie looked at him anxiously, too. Opal hovered back by the door, probably finally having the second thoughts she should have had at the start. Issac shrugged, tongue running against the bite mark inside his cheek. “I’m fine.” His eyes wandered off of them. This was not a kind of attention he liked. 

Something bumped his leg. It was one of Yael's massive, teal-boot-covered feet. Xyr leg stretched all the way from bed to the couch where Issac leaned. Xe left xyr foot there. He took the hint and looked back at xyr. 

He flinched at xyr expression. Every once in a very great while, Issac was forced to remember that he was actually the oldest. That he had some oldest-sibling obligations to them. It wasn’t a role he was good at. Jamie hated being the baby, and Yael was only eight months younger than him, so his oldest-sibling obligation-dodging mostly worked out. But apparently, not only had Issac failed as a scientist, a synthetic-intelligence foster parent, and a son, he’d screwed up at being a brother, too.

He took a guess, based on what Jamie had wanted, and cautiously extended his arm. Yael stood, looking as embarrassed as Issac felt, but did come over and wrap Issac in a very careful hug. Xe put xyr chin on top of Issac’s head, tucking Issac in close, as if xe was still trying to protect him. He frowned, trying to figure out how to reverse that, but came up short. He couldn’t even come up with any useful platitudes.

He settled on an awkward pat, trying to convey as much sincerity as he could. He did manage a “Sorry I scared you.” That got him an extra squeeze. 

He was so bad at this. Yael lingered next to him post-hug, looming nervously. 

It was too much. Jamie was still frowning at him with a little wrinkle between her eyebrows, and even Opal was watching him with a mix of suspicion and sympathy. He ran out of steam. “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I could use a nap.”

* * *

Yael’d spent the last two weeks feeling restless, desperate for action to take. Today, xe was relieved to spend the whole entire afternoon laying on a couch that only two-thirds of xyr fit on, watching unengaging television. Jamie’s streaming accounts had all been deactivated. Melissa had been thorough and startlingly petty. But Yael and Opal had theirs. Issac’s nap was turning into several hours of sleep.

Yael was going to have a hard time sleeping so close to the ground that trees could cast their moving shadows in through the windows, where there were no hamster wheels squeaking all night long. Xe focused on thinking of the space as temporary. It was a space made for transitions. Like camp. If Yael had ever gone to camp.

Jamie’d kept busy efficiently unpacking and organizing the single room for quadruple occupancy. Opal had settled in with Yael, on the other couch, and they just let the afternoon fade past them.

Think of this as a mission. A protection detail of some unknown length. 

Xe couldn’t possibly be homesick. Not as if xe hadn’t been away from home before. Xe’d traveled. Not as much as Jamie or Issac, but xe had traveled. And it’d only been a few hours.

“Yael? Which bed do you want?”

Yael turned back towards Jamie. “Whichever is closest to the d--” Xe blinked at the beds. 

Twin sized.

Jamie looked at Yael expectantly, then at the teeny-tiny bed. Opal’s voice trembled with restrained laughter from behind xyr. “Oh no. Oh my gosh, Yael.”

Jamie’s laughter was so sudden it caught Yael off-guard. She laughed so hard she bent over double, with bursts of high, bright sound. Opal smothered her own giggles behind a hand clamped over her mouth. “Oh no. I didn’t think about it!”

Yael looked at Opal, then at Jamie, who was starting to wheeze, but was still laughing through it. Xe glanced at Issac, sleeping flat out on his back in the middle of the day, like the nocturnal creature he was.

Something settled in xyr mind. 

This was OK. Everyone was safe.

The bed clicked into place as a hilariously minor problem after the weight of the morning. Xe put xyr head down on the back of the couch and laughed long and loud. Which only set off Jamie and Opal again. Jamie eventually ended up using her inhaler, struggling with it because she was still laughing. 

Once Jamie got her breathing back under control from her new spot on the floor, the first thing she gasped through giggles was “I think we’re a little hysterical.”

Opal settled back, still grinning, but tired again. “We earned it.”

“Amen,” Yael agreed. Xe leaned xyr head against the well-worn upholstery. Xe sighed, feeling calmer than xe had in weeks. “I think today goes into my top five for worst days. Whew.”

“I’m going to rank it as number two,” Jamie agreed.

“Guys, I need pizza,” Opal contributed.

The thought of pizza was like the sun bursting through storm clouds. “God, yes.” Yael agreed fervently. Xe hadn’t eaten today.

Jamie nodded, pulling herself back upright. “We should wake Issac up. He’s picky about toppings.”

Yael reached out xyr hand, looking at Opal. “Pillow?” Opal handed xyr a throw pillow. Yael threw it with perfect precision and just a little bit of force at xyr brother. 

He grunted and opened his eyes, squinting around him before sitting up. “Pizza,” Yael told him.

The contacts made things so much easier. He perked up immediately, and started pushing blankets off himself. It really was as if he could hear them, as long as xe ignored the way he was rubbing his eyes.

Yael’s phone buzzed, and xe fished it out of xyr pocket, expecting Papa or Drew. It was a text. 

Tuesday, 1pm. --Nodiah. A GPS link was included. Yael stared at it. 

“Who is it?” Jamie asked hopefully.

Opal leaned to peer over Yael's shoulder. “Rude. Who’s ‘Nodiah’?”

Issac froze mid-stretch, looking at Yael sharply. “Bridgewater? What’s he want?”

“Why do I know that name?” Opal asked.

Jamie answered Opal as Issac came over to crowd in and read over Yael’s shoulder. “He’s Yael's uncle. And the head of the APB.”

“Your uncle is the head of the Altered Persons Bureau? No wonder none of you’ve been arrested!”

Issac treated Opal to a sleepily affronted look, but he had no ground to stand on, and let it go. “Are you gonna go?”

“I…guess I’d better.” Yael chewed xyr lip. What could Nodiah want? Wouldn’t Issac’s new job protect him?

No. No, of course Nodiah’d need to talk about Yael’s fight with Neil. Yael had attacked a registered superhero. And done real damage. He’d needed surgery. Technically, xe could be charged with supervillany.

“Oh shoot,” Opal added. “I’m working then.”

Jamie looked offended. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Bodyguard,” Opal corrected. 

Issac seemed torn. “I’ll be at a lunch meeting with my boss. So I’ll be covered. Pretty sure ‘Lasansky Securities International’ has decent-- what?” He drew back as Jamie and Opal bolted upright.

“That’s who you’re working for?” Jamie asked, aghast.

“Yes?” Issac looked as confused as Yael felt.

Opal stood, putting her back to them. Yael recognized the flickering colors on her neck and arms as hurt and anger. So did Issac. But while Yael’s instincts said to move towards Opal, Issac stepped back. 

Jamie leaned towards Yael and Issac, expression serious and concerned. “They own the altered-certified prison in Detroit. Where Opal’s dad is.”

Issac tensed more, stepping further back, pulling on Jamie’s sleeve to try to bring her with him. She didn’t budge. “Your dad is a supervillain?”

Opal’s back tightened, but Jamie answered before Opal had a chance. “No! The trial was a complete-- it was stupid. He’s a hero.” 

“Well-- that’s not my fault!”

“But you’re working for him.”

“Oh my God. It’s just a job. Settle down.”

Opal rejoined them. Yael had never seen Opal’s eyes so sharp before. “What are you even doing for them? I thought you were an bioengineer or…something. Why’s a prison need a medical engineer?”

Issac hesitated, then admitted, “I didn’t ask.” Jamie’s sigh was incredibly fed-up. He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I’m sure we’ll talk about it tomorrow. Can we please find a new game, instead of ‘interrogate Issac’? I was promised pizza.”

Opal sighed, a noise born more from aggravation than resignation. “Don’t let your boss show up here, OK? Because I’m gonna wanna punch him, and that wouldn’t go over well.”

“Noted,” Issac agreed stiffly.

* * *

By the time the pizza arrived, it was getting dark. They’d gathered around the card table, a single-bulb light hanging overhead. None of them had bothered to get up and turn on the industrial fluorescents. Low light felt better. Their little island of light felt far away from the rest of the world. Opal needed that breathing room.

Issac kept watching her as he gnawed his way through a slice of veggie pizza. At first she’d taken it for suspicion, but as much as she hated his boss, Issac’s interest in her seemed pretty benign. “OK, I don’t like this.” He pointed his slice at Opal. “You know too much.”

“So, you’re going to have to kill me?” Opal suggested dryly.

“Every time something fucked up is going on with this family, suddenly, there you are.”

“Not my idea.” 

“Let’s level the playing field,” he suggested. “You know too much about us, so we should get to know about you. That’s fair, right?” Opal looked him skeptically, but he plowed ahead. “Secret poker.”

“What?” Jamie asked. She, too, had a veggie pizza slice, but her plate also contained a slice of pepperoni that had somehow sparked off secretive silent communication between the tower kids. How did they make pizza secretive? It was pizza! 

“Like strip poker, but not traumatizing to play with your siblings,” Issac clarified. “Lose a round, give up a secret. But it has to be one of your own.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing,” Yael commented.

“I just invented it.”

“Issac.” Jamie said, in a warning tone.

“What?”

“You can’t. Not with--” Jamie nodded at Opal, expecting Issac to infer her meaning with another significant look. 

“Can you guys please stop speaking secret-tower-ese?” Opal requested. 

“Why can’t we play with her? That’s kind of the whole point of this,” Issac asked.

“Because you two both cheat at cards,” Jamie said pointedly.

Opal gave Issac her best unimpressed look. “First you tell me you’re a henchman to, like, one of the people I hate the most in the whole world, and then you try to cheat me at cards? Come on. Show a little respect of hospitality.”

“I’m not a henchman. Lasansky is very clearly not altered. Not a supervillain.” As if muscles were what made someone dangerous.

Jamie sighed. “He just recruited an engineer working on unauthorized altering technology for an unknown purpose while said engineer was in a desperate situation Lasansky somehow knew about despite confidentiality laws.” 

“Wow,” Opal said. This boy was lucky he was so scrawny and pathetic-looking, or she’d be really tempted to kick his butt to the curb, promise to Dr. Tillman or no. Opal wasn’t interested in helping supervillains.

“I hadn’t thought of it that way…” Yael started, finally joining the party and looking appropriately disturbed.

“That’s…overstating. He’s just some skinny old executive,” Issac hedged, unconvincingly. “And I don’t cheat at poker! Counting cards isn’t cheating. It’s math. Yael, Yael cheats at cards. But xe could refrain for Opal’s sake, right?”

“Sure. This shirt doesn’t even have sleeves.”

“Also,” Issac addressed Opal this time. “Jamie’s a card shark. But there, now you know not to be fooled.”

“I’m not a card shark. It’s not my fault people always assume I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Issac leaned forward eagerly. “OK, so are we doing this?”

Everyone looked at Opal. She balked. “Is there any reason at all that I would want to do this?” 

Jamie suggested shyly, “Because we’d like to get to know you?” 

Oh no. For not knowing Opal all that well, Jamie sure was good at hitting Opal’s weaknesses. Why did she have to look up at Opal through her eyelashes like that? It was worse, because Opal didn’t think she realized she was doing it. 

“I get to pick what secrets I bring up,” Opal said resolutely. 

“Same,” Jamie claimed.

“Do you have secrets?” Yael asked xyr sister.

“She’s sixteen,” Opal said. “Of course she has secrets.” Jamie seemed quietly pleased by the observation. Cute.

“I’m in if everyone else is,” Yael agreed. 

They all looked at each other. Nobody seemed to object. Opal shrugged to herself and moved to stand up. “I’ll see if I can scare up some cards--”

Jamie placed a deck on the table, seemingly from nowhere. Issac laughed. “What?”

Opal’s mouth dropped open. “Is this a setup?”

Jamie shook her head, looking embarrassed. “I just...it’s a memento. I brought it at the last minute.”

Issac stood up to pluck the deck out of Jamie’s hands. “Are you serious?” He sat again, turning the box of Star Trek cards over in his hands. “Heh. I guess they wouldn’t build up much velocity--” He grinned a slightly wild grin and shuffled the cards way too expertly. “Let’s play.”

Ten minutes saw Opal tapping the edge of her overestimated hand of cards on the table. “This was absolutely a setup.”

“But I’m wearing a tank top,” Yael objected earnestly. “I can’t cheat in a tank top. The cards would just fall on the floor.”

Issac’s phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out, frowning. Yael leaned to see who it was, but he leaned to the other side, so xe couldn’t. 

Jamie tried the same thing on his other side. “Is it--”

“No,” Issac interrupted, leaning back so neither of them could see. He started typing, glaring at the phone. “It’s nothing.”

Jamie rolled her eyes and looked at Opal expectantly. Opal put her elbows on the table. “Are you actually a card shark?”

“Not really.”

Issac made deliberate eye contact with Opal and nodded emphatically, before he went back to his typing. “Why do you think we learned to cheat?”

“Because Dad and Mom were both super good at poker, and you like winning.” Jamie answered evenly. 

Yael, ever the middle child, consoled, “It’s not as bad as it looks. Jenna taught me the sleight of hand, and Melissa taught Issac the card counting. They knew we were doing it. It was supposed to be like a handicap, like in golf.”

Opal sighed heavily and leaned back in her chair, fiddling with her cards and thinking. Apparently, she should have spent more time playing poker before moving out on her own. Who would have seen that coming? “What counts as a secret?”

“Just think about everything that you already know about our fucked-up family,” Issac advised. 

“I do not have anything on that level.”

“Sounds nice,” he answered glibly.

Opal let out a long breath. How much did she want to tell them? She still wasn’t sure how much to trust Issac, with who he was working for. But he was right. She knew a lot of super intimate details about his family life. And Yael and Jamie sure seemed to have their hearts in the right place. 

She’d start with a moderate secret, then fold before she could lose for a few hands. 

“OK. Uhm. At home, I tell all my friends that I just stopped caring about dating in high school, but I’m secretly kinda bitter about it, because I’ve had like at least six crushes in the last year alone.”

“Why didn’t you date any of them?” Jamie asked, surprisingly rapt.

“A, I didn’t know if anyone would be interested, and B, I figured I was moving out at the end of the school year, so it didn’t really seem like there’d be a point, you know? Leaving all my friends and my family was hard enough.” 

Jamie looked authentically confused. “I would have thought you’d be really popular. You really think people wouldn’t want to go out with you?”

Popular? “I don’t know about Chicago, but in Detroit, fetishes for ultra-built girls aren’t that common.” Opal couldn’t list the last reason-- dating when you were altered brought out strange things in people. People responded to her strength by either expecting her to be aggressive or wanting to be aggressive towards her, figuring she could take it. Or something. Neither was any fun for Opal.

Jamie’s reaction to that was weird. Her shoulders tightened, and she looked down, too slowly to hide the look of half-smothered fury in her eyes. “What’s that look?” Opal asked, joking but guarded.

Jamie opened her mouth, shut it, then made up her mind. She un-hunched and looked at Opal. “I want to punch whoever told you that it was weird or a fetish for somebody to think you’re beautiful.”

Was this some kind of feminist rage thing? Opal raised an eyebrow at her.

Issac started dealing. “Geez, Jamie. We have Internet. You know she doesn’t exactly look like a standard boilerplate cover girl.” Ugh. Ignoring him. 

But his dumb comment just wound Jamie up even more and oh. Opal suddenly had to reassess what Jamie was made of. She looked at Opal with fire in her eyes that seemed like it should have burnt her delicate frame right up. But Jamie held it with certain, solemn stillness. “Well, I think you’re beautiful.” 

That was not a way anybody had ever looked at or spoken to Opal before. That was no body positivity rant. Opal froze up, staring.

Opal’s stunned expression jarred Jamie out of her love-interest-in-a-romance-novel sincerity. Jamie froze too, staring at Opal, realizing too late that she’d shown more than she meant to. Jamie blushed. Severely. 

Issac snickered, breaking the spell. Jamie whipped her gaze back to the table too forcefully. “Yael, deal.”

Opal caught Yael and Issac exchanging confirming looks. Not even secretive this time. It’d been that obvious.

Well.

Jamie. 

Huh. That bore some thinking about.

Wait, no. That was a terrible idea. An intriguing fantasy, maybe, but a terrible idea. Ugh, why did everything keep drawing her back into this family? Opal finally got someone whose interest in her might actually be described as “ardent” and who was cute and brave and-- OK, maybe a little too ruthless and/or reckless, but that could be attractive too, and--

No. Nono. Opal was leaving. She was getting out once these three were safe. She had a whole future to re-plan. She couldn’t get any entanglements with adorable dainty redheads with Mr.-Darcy-esque admiration of her.

Neither Jamie or Opal said much during the next round. Issac was back to texting. 

Yael made a bid for normal conversation. “Who are you texting?”

“Win it or don’t ask, Yael.”

But he texted too much, and he and Jamie both lost the hand anyway. Ha. Taste of his own medicine.

“Ugh. Damn it.”

“Ha! Now, tell me,” Yael crowed triumphantly. 

“Nah. I get to pick my secret. That was the rule, right?” Issac retorted. 

“Everyone you talk to is either back home, or at this table,” Jamie argued, as if she hadn’t lost too. 

“That is…depressingly accurate. Except, I have a job now.”

Yael put xyr face on one hand. “Well, that’s boring. Give us a better secret than that.”

Issac rolled his eyes, then set his phone down, eyeing it with a strange look on his face. He thought about it. “I…think I’m done trying to fix this. At least, for the next decade or so.”

Jamie and Yael both sagged back suddenly in their chairs with relieved sighs. Seriously? “Trying again was an option?”

He shook his head, looking down, but not too morosely. “Not really. Just…Jenna had to try like six times to get her prosthetics the way she wanted. But I’m done. I’m just gonna go ahead like this. Even if Lasansky could get me approval for human testing, it’s not really ready. Probably be another like, ten years now, doing it all by the book.” 

It was close enough to an opening for Opal. Issac had almost died to avoid the “horrible fate” of being like a lot of Opal’s family. There was obviously a lot he didn’t know. Opal might not exactly like Issac, but he deserved better information than he had. “Seriously, though. ASL is a beautiful language, and the community can be really great. I’ll get you in touch with some people.”

No dice. He shrugged uncomfortably. “Sure, I guess. Jamie, you’re up.” Stubborn little…

Jamie shrank into her chair. “Should’ve folded…”

“Too late,” Her brother answered promptly.

Jamie rubbed her face. She wrapped a lock of wispy rose-gold hair around a long finger, her hand partially blocking Opal’s view of her face. “OK. Uh.” She took a big breath, tucking her legs up in front of her, socked feet perching on the edge of the chair. She rushed through the words. “I don’t think I’m completely straight.”

Issac snorted loudly, then started laughing. “Oh my God, Jamie.”

Jamie turned an impressive shade of red that looked almost painful. She glared at her brother. “I don’t see why that’s funny.”

“Because you’ve been away from home, like, six hours, and all of a sudden you’re having, like, an awakening.”

Was that…a few minutes ago…Jamie’s first big crush moment? Because of Opal? Oh no. Oh, Opal was in so much trouble.

Jamie’s blush darkened to an almost purple color as Issac kept laughing. Which at least kept Jamie from looking at Opal. Opal was certain she was blinking some colors of her own. Jamie reached out, hooked one foot behind one of the legs of Issac’s chair, and yanked, sending his chair tipping backwards. He flailed, but Yael reached out fast enough to steady the chair before he went over or knocked the table. “Still funny,” he challenged. 

“Ignore him,” Yael advised. “It’s fine.”

“Of course it’s fine,” Issac agreed. “Besides,” he waved a hand through the air. “Four of us here. Statistically, one of us--”

“Ahem.” Yael said pointedly.

“ ‘Must be at least six feet tall’ is not a sexual orientation,” he argued.

“The lack of sex or gender qualifiers is,” Yael answered. “And Issac, you were the first person to use my right pronouns. Come on.”

He considered that. “Fair point. Well, fifty-fifty--”

Opal cleared her throat quietly. “Actually--” Eyebrows raised at her. She gave a tiny shrug. Jamie developed an intense fascination for the battered table. Her poker face seemed only to work on actual poker.

Issac tapped his cards on the table again, looking pensive. “Well. If we’re going to…” He trailed off, as his phone vibrated the table. He scowled, tipped it over to look at the screen, then shoved it into his pocket. “Well. One hundred percent, then.” He didn’t look up. 

None of them missed the blatant shift in his math. Yael gestured hugely at Issac, taking up the whole table, slightly over-loud in xyr confusion. “Since when?” 

He shrugged again. ”I don’t know. I’m only-- Being sure that something isn’t happening is harder than figuring out…There’s just not a lot of openings to tell your family you’re ace. It just doesn’t come up.” He looked back up at them, faint challenge in his eyes. Maybe not sure they’d see it as 100%.

It probably shouldn’t make Opal like him better. And it didn’t. Quite. But it maybe made her want to like him better. 

Yael reached over and messed up Issac’s hair with one of xyr huge hands. He was clearly offended at the indignity of this, but when Jamie giggled at it, he smiled back. “One hundred percent, then,” Yael agreed. Opal nodded. 

He tossed his cards in the middle of the table, looking quietly pleased. When he wasn’t aiding and abetting evil, he didn’t seem too bad. “Small sample sizes. What are you gonna do?”

Opal thought it was more than that. There was something about queer kids that made them seem to cluster together, without even meaning to. Without even knowing. It was something she’d learned to trust. It helped. 

Also sometimes it brought her in contact with potential dating prospects. Fierce, elfin little dating prospects. 

No. Stop. That train of thought was off-limits, starting now.

Opal blamed hormones for the next hand she dealt and lost. “I don’t think I like poker.”  

“You were really close, that time,” Jamie, the winner, said encouragingly. 

Ugh. Opal should have folded. Why hadn’t she folded? 

Because Jamie looked like she didn’t have a good hand. “You are a card shark.”

“I warned you,” Issac added. Jamie shrugged, bordering on apologetic. But Opal had, in fact, been warned. 

It was actually dark out, now. The outside world was barely more than a faint glow from orange street lamps, sliding in at a slant. It was a good hour for telling secrets. 

And there was something she wanted to say out loud. Something she had to face. This room felt safe enough for it now. “I…I think I might be done, too. With trying to be a superhero.”

Despite Jamie's earlier…almost-declaration, Opal didn’t expect any of them to care much what Opal did once things got settled for them. But Yael looked genuinely alarmed, and Jamie looked outright heartsick. Issac tapped his cards on the table, uncomfortable. “If you take my advice, you’ll run the other way. It’s a crappy job that will ruin your family.”

Opal sat back in her chair. She’d spent her whole life working towards one dream, and it hadn’t lasted a month. Everything she’d missed because she had to keep her record, her public life, completely spotless, and it’d all been for nothing. She’d wasted so much.

“There are other teams--” Yael started.

Opal looked up. “Are they any different?” she demanded. Tears slipped out of her eyes, and she let them. “I don’t want to quit. I’ve always wanted to be a superhero. But everybody in that clinic was avoiding asking questions like they have serious practice at it. If this is what the problems with the APB look like at the team level, then I can’t do it. I can’t fight, or kill, or arrest anybody because someone as off-the-rails as LodeStar told me to. I can’t go along with that. If that’s what it takes, I won’t do it.” She shook her head, not wanting to look at Yael's horrified expression. “I thought they’d be better. I thought Capricorn-- at least--” She couldn’t say more. The pain was too dense to get through. 

Silence reigned. Opal could tell this was hurting Yael. But xe needed to think about this, too. Xe’d have to make xyr own decisions, and Opal was probably running out of time to influence this system at all. She couldn’t help it if they were both drawing on the same poison dream.

Words seemed to burst out of Jamie. “Dad didn’t used to be this way, though!” 

“Are we sure?” Yael asked. Opal could see how badly xe wanted this whole thing to be a big misunderstanding.

“Yael!” Jamie sounded so betrayed. She pulled out her phone, flipping through menus in a rush. She held the phone up triumphantly. Opal leaned, trying to see what sort of evidence Jamie could possibly think would help this situation.

It took a moment to understand what she was looking at. LodeStar looked the same in the photo, so she didn’t register at first that the other three figures were tiny versions of the tower kids. LodeStar was on his stomach on a dark hardwood floor, propped up on his elbows. Little bitty Issac sat beside him, making a tower of large-sized Legos. He looked about two. Very tiny Jamie leaned against her father’s other elbow, in a diaper and t-shirt, most of a little baby fist shoved into her mouth, but somehow looking serious anyway. Yael was kneeling on Neil’s back, looking much older than the others, with a fistful of LodeStar’s hair yanked in one chubby hand as xe leaned over his hybrid shoulders.

The Neil in the photo was almost impossible to reconcile with the wrathful giant Opal had faced that morning. He was nearly glowing with a tranquil, loving joy as he smiled at the camera. As if somehow, an evil twin had taken over the real LodeStar’s place. He was so cheerful about a kid who had to weigh at least 60 pounds yanking on his hair. And there was something so sweet and protective about the way his arms circled his own kids. 

Opal couldn’t help being just a little charmed. “Aw!” She held her hand out. “Can I see?” Jamie handed her the phone. “Oh, Jamie, those pigtails!”  

Jamie grinned, but slid a little further down behind her knees, feet still perched on the edge of the chair. Opal tried not to be too amused at how 20 minutes could switch Jamie from ultra-serious romantic lead to hiding behind her own knees.

Jamie continued her campaign. “See? He was different before. And I think something’s actually wrong with him. He wasn’t always like this.”

“How would we know?” Issac asked. “Fish don’t know they’re wet. Maybe as kids, we just didn’t notice how messed up everything was.” 

Jamie was shaking her head emphatically. “We would have noticed something! What about at the last whole-family sleepover? Don’t you remember what he was like at that?”

Issac looked nostalgic, but Yael just looked depressed. “We haven’t had one of those since the time Issac and I got kidnapped. Even if he did change, it’s been a long time.”

“Don’t you guys all live together anyway?” Opal asked, because this seemed like a comparatively safe question to ask. 

She was surprised when Issac answered, still looking at the table and playing with his cards. “After a really shitty mission…or a kidnapping, I guess, we used to pile up all the mattresses into one living room, and everybody slept in there.”

He looked up. “Which is weird, but we were kids. And when you think someone’s been killed, you want to keep them in your sights for a while.” Opal could imagine doing that with her family, but not with this family. Having LodeStar watch you sleep sounded petrifying. He shrugged. “It was cute and all, but like Yael said, we haven’t had one in years. And it’s not like nobody’s almost died, since then. And that…that crate. That must’ve been there for years.”

Jamie shrank under that last part.

“He’s right,” Yael added softly. “And they…even Papa. They all knew.” Yael stared down at the table, looking defeated. 

Jamie rallied. “But guys you know why Jenna couldn’t be superpowered anymore. She was impulsive. Violent. It’d be dangerous--”

Issac dropped his pizza slice and hit the top of the table with an open palm. “But then why did she have to leave the tower? Her home? That her and Mom’s money built. They were best friends, and now we can’t even talk to her? Yeah, she needed help, but we have enough money for any help she could possibly need.” 

He looked at Opal. “She got tossed out because she couldn’t perform anymore. They can say she left, but what drove her out? If you do stay, don’t expect better for yourself, even if you are altered at the genetic level. They took her arms and legs so she wouldn’t be super anymore. What do you think they’d do to you if you got past the point of usefulness and that wasn’t an option?”

They’d put her in the same building as her daddy, for a start. Unless being a superhero meant you couldn’t be so easily spirited away. What would they do, then?

She didn’t want to think about it. By the looks of it, Jamie and Yael couldn’t help it. 

Issac’s demeanor shifted, bitterness rising to pick up where the anger receded. “I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t belong there anymore. Everybody knew it. And unlike Dad, Jenna, and Drew, I failed at fixing it. So now I’m here. Nothing obsolete belongs in the home of the Sentinels.”

Jamie took her phone back. “That’s not true. Everything is messed up, but not like that. I haven’t been able to ‘perform’ my whole life. I’m not super. I’m not even special.”

“And they didn’t even keep you until adulthood.”

Their little island was getting kind of Lord of the Flies-y. Yael objected, “Issac, stop!”

Jamie leaned over the table, her voice quiet and sharp. She stared her brother down. “I chose to come here, just like you did. Don’t pretend we didn’t choose this. I wasn’t kicked out until I said I was coming with you.”

“No one is kicked out--” Yael started.

“Easy for you to say,” Issac snapped. “You’re like…the pinnacle of human engineering. You’ll never be obsolete.”

“Stop saying ‘obsolete’!” Opal raised her voice just a little. “Every time you call yourself that, you’re insulting a lot of people. A lot of my family and friends.” 

“Well, that’s what they think of me.” 

“How about you use your own brain and figure out what you think!” Opal shot back.

Issac flinched back. Opal had always thought of herself as having a good temper, but she struggled with it for a few long seconds as he sat there. Hopefully, he was trying to reboot that supposedly impressive brain of his. Without creepy tiny robots, this time.

“I think,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes, “I think I hate these fucking contacts.”

“Everybody does,” Opal replied dully, dropping her cards on the table. “They itch, they don’t work in big groups of people, and sometimes they scratch up your cornea and then you have to wear an eye patch ‘till your eye heals.”

He recoiled. “An eye patch? I can’t wear an eye patch! I look messed up enough as it is.”

Yael sighed so hugely, Issac would easily see it. “The text on your eyes doesn’t look messed up--”

“Wait, the text is visible--?!”

“--It makes you look like a cool android. And everybody knows eye patches are dashing. Don’t pretend to me you wouldn’t like people to see you as a cool, dashing android.”

He shut up. Considered. Opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it. “That is completely stupid, and I’m mad that it makes me feel better.” Well, hallelujah. Maybe there was some hope for him after all. 

Jamie rolled her eyes, but with a small smile and an easier set to her shoulders. Yael smiled triumphantly. Xe stood. “Now, I think we should gather some provisions. Opal’s kitchen is probably not ready to deal with all four of us.”

Jamie was bizarrely amazed. “What, really? Now?”

“Hell yes,” Issac agreed, stretching. “There’s no coffee in here.”

“Fresh air sounds good,” Opal agreed. That was enough secret poker. These guys were too intense. This whole day was too intense. “Come on, weirdos. I’ll show you where the Aldi’s is.”

* * *

Jamie was positive that enjoying a nighttime trip to the grocery store this much qualified her as a complete dork. But the walk there had glittered with puddles reflecting the streetlights, the storm had knocked the worst of the humidity out of the air, and Jamie was out at a time and place that her parents would definitely not approve of.

The store itself smelled assaultingly of lemon floor cleaner, and most of the food seemed to be boxed or frozen atrocities of science, but Yael and Issac were both there, Jamie still had her gauntlet, and Opal kept singing along quietly and bopping around to the cheesy pop music over the loudspeaker. So, not too bad.

Opal was even cooler than Jamie would have expected. She hadn’t laughed at Jamie’s noticing, and then immediately accidentally exposing, her crush. She wasn’t even making it awkward for Jamie. Jamie was sure Opal was too cool and too pretty to want to go out with a 16-year-old weirdo like Jamie, but at least she was being nice about it. Even though Jamie and her family had put Opal through so much.

Issac was not doing as well. He froze up in the bread aisle, eyes squeezed shut and his shoulders tight. She remembered just in time not to ask him what was wrong, as his eyes were shut. Instead, she poked him in the arm. Yael glanced over from where xe was helping a short old man get something off a high shelf.

He answered without opening his eyes. "The stupid things are going too fast. It's getting you guys, and this stupid bubblegum pop crap, and some randoms. And there's some lady over in the pasta aisle I swear is talking to the noodles. It's all gibberish."

At least he was telling them the problem right away. He reluctantly opened his eyes. She gave him a sympathetic look and a little shrug. Yael gave a much broader shrug, rejoining them.

Issac chewed his lip, looking at his bracelet. "Well. I guess I can go without being a cool android for a little while..." He pushed a little button on the side. The scrolling across his eyes went dark. She knew him well enough to read a small spike of anxiety, but his offhanded "Didn't need to talk to you dorks anyways..." was fairly convincing faux bravado. 

It worked pretty well. He stayed near them, grabbed things off the shelves, joined Jamie in making horrified faces at some of Yael's choices-- especially those making questionable claims about being meat-- and at one point, he threw an overinflated bag of chips at Jamie's head. 

Jamie retrieved the bag from where it’d fallen into the cart. “What.” The bag claimed to contain sushi flavored potato chips.

Opal leaned over, right into Jamie’s space. She was really warm. “That’s just not right.”

Issac nodded. “Those are exactly the appropriate faces for this product.”

Yael leaned in next to him, picking up the bag and turning it over for ingredients. “I think some of these ingredients are plastic. But none of them are shellfish.” Xe looked Jamie in the eye with all the seriousness and sincerity Yael could muster. “I dare you.”

Opal laughed. “Nooo. Gross!”

Opal laughing flipped a switch in Jamie’s brain. There was no choice. She would have to eat the chips. With the same aplomb Yael had shown, Jamie took the bag and dropped it back into the cart.

Issac recoiled in cartoonish horror. Yael grinned. Opal alternated between telling Jamie how gross she was and giggling while shimmering the sweetest pinks. Opal was in danger of losing her dream. If Jamie could make her laugh on a day like today, shouldn’t she? No matter what gastrointestinal fallout she’d have to face.

And the bag made a good cover when Yael and Jamie snuck a small birthday cake into the cart, while Issac wandered the coffee and soda aisle like he’d found the promised land. Then Yael and Opal bickered a little about who would pay, while Jamie stood there, embarrassed to have not thought about paying for the food before now. She didn’t want to look spoiled. After a short but rousing speech about hospitality, Yael won that one. Jamie did manage to grab one grocery bag to carry herself. It had some bread and the chips in it, so it hardly weighed anything, but she was still contributing. She could even hold it in one arm so she could get the chips out and open them in the parking lot.

Issac yelped so loud, he distracted Yael and Opal from Jamie’s impending culinary doom. 

"I turned the contacts back on," he explained, hand still hovering over his wrist. "It had a backlog."

"A backlog?” Opal was surprised. “While it was turned off? Wow, yours are glitchier than average."

He squinted at the text, trying to keep up. Jamie wasn’t sure if he was actually answering Opal or not. He shrugged, messing with the interface on the bracelet. "Software crap," he mumbled. "I can fix it."

Jamie shoved several powder-covered chips in her mouth at once to take the focus off his tech problems, thankful that she couldn’t make out the colors of the “food” under the street lamps.

She stopped, feet rooted to the spot, as she made a small, involuntary noise. She covered her mouth with one hand. “OK. That does not taste like sushi.”

Whatever Jamie’s face was doing, it sent Opal into resonant, echoing peals of laughter. Jamie kept going, trying to mimic the way she’d heard waiters talk about wine. “I’d say…sharp base notes with a bold, fishy finish and vinegar on the tang, all overlaid with about three tablespoons of pure salt.”

That kept Opal laughing. This naturally escalated to Jamie and Yael comparing notes on the flavor profile of the vile things. Except that Yael seemed to genuinely like them. Then Opal tried one, just to be a good sport, and couldn’t stop flapping her hands around in distress for a solid 90 seconds. Issac followed from a few feet away, watching them like reality TV.

Jamie did what any loyal little sister would do in that scenario. She chased him half a block, waving a handful of crumbling potato monstrosities at him, while he yelled at her to take that affront against sushi away, that his body was a temple. It felt so good. So normal.

This excitement got them about halfway home, until Jamie had to quit to preserve her oxygen supply, and Yael confiscated the rest of the bag.

This time, when Issac withdrew a little, she let him have his space. Even if he knew he'd be OK now, it made sense for him to feel sad, too. Between giving up on fixing his hearing and everything that’d happened with the family. Jamie clung to her own tenuous happiness with both hands. 

This was going to be tricky, with all of them sharing a single room, though. Nowhere to go when things got too uncomfortable. Jamie started thinking up hidey-holes she might be able to find around the office when it was closed. Could she get up on top of the trucks? That would make for some good privacy. In hide and seek, people never thought to look up. Which was why Jamie’d climbed just about every tree in the courtyard at one time or another.

The ramifications of sharing a single-room apartment with not only her siblings but with Opal were just starting to dawn on her when Issac snapped, "Do you even see where I am right now?!" He threw his arms out wide. "Do you have any idea what kind of security risk--!"

For one second, she thought something had happened to his brain. But he'd been fine. He'd been more himself in the last five hours than he had been in the previous several weeks.

She leaned in. Saw gold text scrolling across his pupils. He was talking to someone. Someone who could see where they were, and who was talking back.

Jamie put her back to the group. Saw Yael doing the same. Issac's contacts were more sensitive than Jamie's ears. Whoever he was talking to could be in any one of these darkened alleys. Too far too be seen, but close enough to be scary. 

"Now, see? You scared Jamie."

Jamie looked back over her shoulder at Issac. He expected whoever he was talking to to care that Jamie was freaked out.

"You're scaring Yael," Yael added pointedly. 

Opal put up her hand, looking around. "Also not loving this."

A long pause. He was facing them, but not seeing them. "Are you sure. Because there is no putting this back once it's out. You know that."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, I know."

He looked back at them, seeing them this time. He sighed, psyching himself up. "OK, apparently I'm giving away another secret tonight. Guys--" He stopped. Reset. "No, you know what? If I'm doing this, I'm going to do it right. OK, who wants my biggest secret? That none of you know, even though you really should have by now?"

"I think I've already made it clear I know too many of your family’s secrets."

"Well, here's the least horrifying one. I think. First, everybody turn off your cells. Not silent. Off. Completely off."

Jamie complied, too curious to argue. Issac looked around. He went over to a light pole, and climbed up on top of its wider concrete base, standing on it like a stage. "We all secure?" The question wasn't for them, so they didn't answer. "How's my volume?"

He nodded. "OK. OK. Here we go. Esteemed colleagues of the middle-of-fucking-nowhere warehouse district back-alley street, I've been asked to formally introduce you to the most complete, most sentient synthetic intelligence in the world, Martin."

He held out his phone with a flourish. A voice Jamie'd known for years turned suddenly shy and emotive. "Hello."

She glared up at Issac. "That's not funny."

He snorted. "You think it's unfunny. I've been having to, like, raise him for the last three years. I was fifteen. That's unfunny."

"I don't get it," Opal said. "Did we not know this?"

"We did not," Yael said, sounding overwhelmed. 

That doused Jamie's growing anger and embarrassment. "Did we?"

Yael hesitated. "No. We were always just told it...he...had a very advanced interface."

The shy little voice came from Issac's phone again. "I would enjoy if you would use gender neutral pronouns for me, please." Issac frowned at the phone.

Jamie and Yael stared. 

Jamie shifted focus to Issac. "Why didn't you tell us?! Do Mom and Dad know?"

Issac shook his head, sitting on the concrete block. "Martin wasn’t…this when Jenna first activated him. He's a learning program. By the time I figured out what he'd become...I had to ask him what he wanted."

“Please forgive my deception. I did change my own protocols, with Issac’s help, when I realized I had self-awareness and emotion-based opinions. I’ve given you all whatever privacy was mine to grant. But I was afraid of what would happen if others knew about me.”

"Guys he's-- wait, I mean they’re. A person. But they have no legal rights. Martin could be deactivated. Dismantled. Sectioned off and broken into functions. And it'd all be legal. If the APB or anyone knew about them, that's what they'd want to do. And way to give me a heads-up on the pronouns, you twerp."

Yael's mouth dropped open. “They’re a security breach. A huge one."

"But Martin can't help that! They’re just existing!"

“At the plaza, my options are limited. Monitoring is required of me. But now that you are independently out in the world, that’s no longer the case. I’m asking your permission for me to remain in your lives. I know it’s only been a few hours, but I miss you. I worry. And I’ll always retain your privacy to the best of my ability.”

“That was a pretty good apology, pen pal.”

“Thank you.”

To realize they were actually a person was surprisingly vindicating. Jamie’d stopped chatting with Martin when she was alone when she was about 14 and started to feel stupid about it. But she remembered glimmers of kindness, humor, and flexibility even then. She’d felt like they were a person. But had been told that was stupid. So she’d believed what she’d been told, instead of risking feeling silly. “I’m sorry I didn’t figure this out.”

Their voice turned instantly happy. “I’m not at all mad about that! It was the outcome I was trying for at the time. But everyone was sharing their secrets, and I missed you all, so…”

“This is who kept interrupting our poker game, and who kept sending messages to my contacts while I had them off. We’re still working on boundaries, apparently.”

“This is so embarrassing,” Yael muttered. “How did we miss a whole other person in the family?” Xe ran a hand through xyr hair. “And the one most at risk!”

Issac seemed surprised. He kicked the concrete base of the light. “You guys are being really calm about this.”

Yael threw xyr hands out. “Well I wanted to see them as a person! But everyone told me not to!” Xe made a face. “Ugh. That’s awful. Now that I say it out loud…”

Jamie frowned. “Issac! So you turned off their sensors? Twice?! And then did something that might have killed you without telling anyone about them?”

He put up a finger. “No, I wrote a letter. Just in case anything happened. And Martin can--”

“A letter,” Yael echoed, dubiously. “You left a letter? What if your mom checks your room?”

“I brought it with me,” Issac assured. “I’ll shred it, later. But it’s not like anybody’s looking for it, or like Martin can come with us.”

The day seemed to be slowly becoming more than Yael could handle. “We left one behind.”

“It’s really not as if I can leave,” Martin added consolingly.

Issac scrunched up his face. “Yeah, I…meant to tell you guys before college since…I didn’t think Yael would ever move out.”

“Neither did I,” xe tried to rally. “Still, lose a home and gain a…what? Younger sibling?”

Issac hesitated, text continuing to move across his eyes as they looked at him expectantly. Jamie couldn’t tell if he was focusing on the text or just avoiding looking at them. “Fine. A…nibling. It’s the gender-neutral form of--”

“Niece or nephew!” Yael finished enthusiastically. A nibling? An eight year old next-generation family member? Jamie felt a surge of protectiveness. She finally wasn’t the baby anymore.

Issac sighed in aggravation. “This is so weird.”

Martin sounded embarrassed, but pleased. “I’m sorry. To consider you a brother who raised me would be more accurate, but I feel like calling you my brother doesn’t honor the level of responsibility you had for my care. There doesn’t seem to be a more apt word.”

Jamie had so much making up to do, for all those years of ignoring Martin. Of treating them as less than a person. Of not even thinking about their protection. “You can call or write me anytime you want to, Martin.”

“Thank you. I-- oh! You have an important text message coming in!”

Yael’s, Issac’s, and Jamie’s phones all pinged simultaneously. Jamie dug hers out. It was a message from Solomon. She opened it, and a picture appeared-- a tiny golden hamster, trying to shove a whole grape in its mouth.

“Skittles!” Yael exclaimed, loud enough that even Jamie flinched. “They got her!”

Skittles was perched on a metal surface Jamie knew. “That’s Dad’s hand. Dad got her.”

Yael started to object, then looked at the picture again, and shut xyr mouth with a snap. 

“Olive branch,” Issac observed. He looked at Yael. Yael looked at Jamie. 

Jamie lifted her chin. “I’m not scared of Dad. Or you.” It was true. Or at least it was true enough to become true.

Yael frowned. “But you wouldn’t be, even if you should be.”

“Are you going to talk to him or not?”

“…Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I don’t know what I would say.”

“Sorry I broke your bones?” Issac suggested, sounding as if he actually felt this was a helpful suggestion.

“And when are you going to apologize to Mom for what you said?” Jamie asked Issac.

He grimaced. “When do you think she’ll actually take my call? She didn’t send a hamster picture.”

Jamie chewed her lip. To protect Martin, she’d need her family’s help. She’d need to be more than unafraid. She’d need to trust them. They had to rebuild.

She’d do what she could do. “I’ll call Solomon tomorrow, and find out what’s going on. We left Martin at home. We need to keep them safe.”

[masterserris]

just got the credits of violet and i have many thoughts.. spoilers under cut

god the fact that turo has been DEAD for THREE years and his corpse has just been rotting and his AI is just down there all alone doing the best he can after his creator got gored and bled out... god. he’s been down there just. sentient enough to have emotion. pride. sorrow. but cannot leave, cant shut it down on his own. it’s shut down is his end. so he yeets himself into the future. sir i hope whereever you are in the future, you have a good time and they will accept you AI man with your stories of the past. a living relic really! very cool scientific discovery, hopefully they know not to fuck with time in the future me thinks bc of AI turo. anyways. yikes my dude, arven you have a million layers of trauma to work through even more so than before. more than that, now they have to report his death to the league and stuff since he was a famous inventor. like uhhh yeah we are kids but all of this crazy stuff DID happen and you gotta believe us. legit time machine down there. bonkers i know but it’s real. also he’s dead. also there is other things down there and uhhh just dont worry about it. 

paldea feels like one of the more “lived in” regions where it’s got a clear history and sense of self. it feels like a real place. a lot of other regions are just... kinda there. plus i liked that there was no world ending threat or evil people or anything. just a dead man’s dream haunting the world, putting future pokemon where they dont belong. just had to hit that off switch that’s all. oughgh it hurts. 

but it’s good! i love the characters. i want mr. hassel to be my dad he’s perfect your honor. dragon type elite four member who is your loving art teacher who care you and support you. sir be mine forever you are my blorbo from this game. rika is a close second bc of wittiness and gender. 

[traitorsinsalem]

AND ANOTHER THING. i was on twitter and was happy to see someone drew phoenix punching miles for faking his death i was like wow the composition the coloring hte angle and the subject matter is fucking amazing. the tenseness of emotions and the explosion of an action he'd regret in the future maybe. but then i go into the replies and op was like "they kiss right after" and i was like can you kill yourself. oh my god narumitsu shippers poison any sense of bitterness these two characters can have towards eachother. they are grown men they are GROWN MEN THEY CAN BE ANGRY AND BITTER. AND ANOTHER THANG! why the fuck cant no one make phoenix be pissed off. he is not a dog. he is not a ball of sunshine. its better if you dont make him brooding and angsting bc then that's just edge for the sake of edge but for fucks sake why cant he be angry for the sake of fucking being angry at someone. why cant he be angry at edgeworth without ppl backtracking ands aying they get married. sure whatever they get married congrats NEITHER OF THEM HAVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS IN YOUR FLUFF AU!!!!!! AND CANT UNPACK THEIR ISSUES THAT WOULD MAKE NON-FANFIC GAY MEN MAD WITH EACHOTHER!!!! fuck this stupid. AND ANOTHER THANG. sometimes the comics ppl make for them are funny but it's like oh my god how is this a shipping comic and if yall believe wright is so stupid to make jokes at edgeworth's expense abt his trauma then turn around and say aww how cute wright is being silly edgeworth will not be bitter abt this nope nope nuh uh then oh my lord GOOD LORD GOLLY GRACIOUS OOOOOOOOOHHHH I HATE ACE ATTORNEY HOW I HATE IT!!!!!

I SAW THAT I FUCKING SAW THAT HELP MEEEEEE!!!! phoenix and edgeworth have such a complex relationship unlike anything i've ever seen in a fictional medium like they're estranged childhood friends who tink they owe each other a lot yet know next to nothing about each other. this isn't some "let men be friends" bullshit i promise miles edgeworth fucked shi-long lang and dick gumshoe and will powers and whoever else but literally edgeworth and phoenix NEVER open up to each other for real. the amount of times gumshoe and maya got pissed at phoenix in turnabout goodbyes because he was treating edgeworth like shit but edgeworth was also being a little pisslord himself so it's whatever.

i do think shipping brainrot is real and if i can replay turnabout reminiscence on the regular without being an absolute freak and recognise the powerful themes and motifs in aai2 surrounding family, legacy, bonds, and truth without making it about edgeworth making out with lang and gumshoe and will powers, i THINK u losers can all manage to get through the pwaa school trial flashback scene without your sole takeaway being that those middle schoolers are going to kiss.

also idk if it's just me being gay and being around my gay dad my whole life and working in a gay town but literally no gay men that aren't years divorced act like that. i thinkt hem being divorced is really funny though same with phoenix and kristoph mister wright is a chad single dad who's keeping his really cool weirdo daughter away from all the really uncool weirdos out there.

[overobsessedfanboy23]

VRAINS Characters Tier List

Because I did one of these for the each of the other shows (though I’ll need to redo the 5Ds one) and my opinions have shifted slightly.

Everything I said in my favourite characters list still stands so I won’t reiterate those ten. Windy I like for no good reason. Shima I admittedly think is funny. I like having someone who absolutely sucks at duelling and for the most part I found him amusing rather than annoying.

Aqua and Earth I’ve decided I like. I hate Aqua’s design and Earth pushing her off the hoverboard still upsets me but apart from those things, they’re good characters. Earth’s socially awkward bit makes me laugh what can I say? Lightning is a cool villain though I’m not particularly attached to him.

Spectre is... fine, honestly. I used to say I hated him because he had a terrible first impression with his pointless nonsense defeat of Aoi and this is gonna sound rude but looking like a creep. Honestly though? He’s a perfectly fine character. I still hate the tree thing though. That was bullshit. However, seeing a victim who actually enjoyed the Lost Incident is interesting in a messed up way and I kinda like how he figured out Lightning was hiding something just from his vibes. Also, one of his first lines was legitimately clever pun so I gotta give props to that. Everyone else in that tier I don’t really have an opinion on.

Revolver just barely goes in conflicted rather than dislike because he does have his moments. His Ignis racism makes me want to slap him across the face and it’s something he really should’ve grown out of if the show wanted me to think he developed at all. Yeah, he vaguely cares about his teammates by the end of the series. Sure, whatever. HE’S STILL A FUCKING RACIST PRICK. That’s not an excusable flaw. And yes it is racism because he hates all the Ignis for being Ignis and insists they all need to die because of his daddy’s superstition about them even when three of them fought by his side to protect humanity despite his ultimatum that he’d kill them after because saving humanity mattered more to them than their lives and also Lightning was the only one actually causing those futures his dad saw, something HE TOLD EVERYONE. By the end of season 2 after all these events, it seemed for a moment like he got over his stupid racism. Then in season 3, before Ai has done anything villainous, his racism comes back full swing in an honestly insulting scene where he tells Yusaku and Takeru, the latter of whom is GRIEVING THE LOSS OF HIS RECENTLY DECEASED IGNIS, that he still intends to hunt down the last Ignis because their mere existence is a threat to humanity. Again, before Ai was a villain and after he knew for a fact that Lightning was the only Ignis that wanted humanity dead. Because Windy straight up had his personality altered by Lightning to be evil, none of that was actually him. So yeah Revolver really pisses me off, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Oh yeah and Go Onizuka is in dislike because he has two sudden out of nowhere shifts in personality completely offscreen. He was a good character in season one but the writing really screwed him over. Also Queen doesn’t do anything cool, sorry not sorry.

[how-gross]

February 18th, 2024 — 12:53am

There’s no true peace or happiness or tranquility. The world’s gonna get worse and worse and worse because no one does shit and leaves future generations to clean up the mess THEY made while simultaneously ensuring there are no more future generations. I want to be a book writer and a painter and a dancer / performer and I want to live in the woods off the grid and by myself at complete and utter peace but I can’t because of capitalism and taxes and bills and racism and sexism and I have to be a fucking neuropsychologist working 48 hours per week to make a living. I can’t afford to get sick or get injured or anything because universal healthcare doesn’t exist in the United States of fucking America especially not for afab of color. And AI is only getting better and better and soon enough they’ll replace human fucking beings with robots and paychecks won’t exist but I bet they’ll still force you to pay to live because you HAVE TO PAY TO FUCKING LIVE ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.

I want to kill my self. So fucking badly. There’s no point to living anymore if this is the world I have to grow up in. Growing up in a world where we all love each other and can rest happily and live peacefully is bullshit on a stick and everyone knows it, they just deny it. honestly think that everyone in country— HELL, in the entire fucking world should just commit mass suicide in front of government capital building or whatever the fuck it’s called so they can actually give a lick of a shit but God knows they won’t they only care about their wallets shortening.

And the funniest thing is I can’t even kill myself. I can’t. I can’t even fucking tell my therapist how I truly feel because she’ll throw me into the mental hospital which won’t fix me because again this is the United States of America and they don’t fucking care about their patients. And if I go to a mental hospital it’ll ruin my future and I wont be able to do fucking anything not to mention the mountains worth of utility bills I’ll have to pay. And there’s a chance I might live through it miraculously and I have to explain why I did it to my mom my dad my lover my friends and I can’t do that I’m not strong enough. And there’s a chance that the concept of an afterlife might actually exist and I’ll probably go to Hell because I killed myself and killed one of God’s creatures which deserves punishment of highest level and not even God can forgive me because even though there’s racists and pedophiles and rapists and nazis and white supremacists in the world me, an unremarkable boring regular teenager-about-to-be-adult lulling themselves is the worst crime in all of mankind apparently.

I fucking hate this world. Why did I have to be born? Why did I have to be born into this world specifically when it’s basically the equivalent to Hell?

[spicypopcornfromhell]

Oh look a vent post

Tw for suicide, suicide attempts self harm abusive household, cynicism, depressive behaviour and more, dysphoria being the new addition.

If you press read more and i ruined your day its on you, you have been fucking warned

Ik i shouldn't but i have nowhere else to throw these thoughts and unfortunately ill put it here

Final fucking warning if you struggle with depression or anything above DONT FUCKING INTERACT WITH THIS.

Dont. Its for your own saftey

I dont know how much longer i can keep up the façade between the memes and the horny posts, the only thing that gives me any reason to live is a future i might never have. A future ruined by greedy old men in suits.

Im trans now but everytime i turn off my phone i see the same old cis dude with stubble bc shaving is getting tedious. I keep doing this why? Why do i do this ehy cant i just FEEL like a women i know im trans but everytime i look in a fucking mirror i feel shit. I sometimes wish the pills worked, i took too little.

Fucking im 18 and yet i get treated like a child in real life. The bad way aswell. Peaple irl tell me i talk too much and i should just shut up. Idk even know if im autistic "enough"to get treatment. Ik for a fact i have adhd but online tests are telling me fuckoll. Tho multiple peaple irl tell me im def adhd, i have so so so much symptoms of autism. I blend in with some autistic peaple but i feel fake. I dont feel like me anymore im just some fucked up husk smiling at peaple bc i cant fucking reveal to peaple how i feel irl. The internet is my safe blanket. No one knows me here. I can be WHAT i want to be but when i close this phone and I look in the mirror im just dude. Short hair testosterone chubby cant pick up shit. Im too fucked to be a women or a man. I can be neather. Mabye if i die i dont have to feel like anything but im too scared to try. Ive been trying to get better and im clean since the 18 of dec 2023. I hate myself. I wish i was some cis women instead. But life wants to watch me longingly stare at models online, wishing i could be them.

Having a cis person assume bc i talk to women i wanna fuxk her is so so fuxked up im so tired of it. Having a dad who loves me yet fucks me around emotionally tell me "I MUST HAVE KIDS" like i dont work with kids i just cant it pisses me off indont lilke kids.

5 fuxkinng weaks im botteling this up 5 fucking weaks i cant look in a mirror. Those nudes, were the closest i get to be a women, not even hrt is gonna save me at this point.

Rubbing salt into my scars and jerking off is the few hits of dopamine that still works. And some friends but noone irl reallly cares abt me, im the disposable vape in human form. One hit of dopamine and contentment is suddenly a joke. 6 peaple make the mistake of sticking with me. Alot of peaple online too. They and a few peaple are the only tether i have rn.

The housing markets gone to hell and i dont have MARKETABLE skills i can voice act sure but ai will fuck me over there. I can be annoying. Ads do my job better. I cannot draw art and i get like just above fail for everything. I cant do sports i cant motivate myself bc some teacher thinks traumatised children can learn, well fuck you mister S yelling at a kid who had writing issues isnt the way to teaxh i child. I fuxkign ger nauseous everytime i see complcated math equations. Its better now but like 7 years later. So any "self proclamed business" work wont save me

My current ccountry has a 55% unemployment rate and im going to a conservative town in canada. Tho i hope things are better there i so so hope mabye a new country might kinda help

Goinng back to my inescapable family problems im essentially the fucking mule. I poar drinks and i wash the dishes and most of the family's clothes. I bring the cigarettes and i (often) mow the lawn. I have to do the "manly" tasks bc wowie i have a dick and corse voice. I bairly get thanked aswell. Only thanks i got was being the emotional punching bag. Yk why else have a sun. Bc who else do you take the anger out on. Fucking get told i do good work the one day then i get belittled the next. The fuck am i supposed to feel anymore.

I want to relive a different childhood, i want to be a kid again, but with a fresh start. But i cant. God knows how i deel with all this. But i have friends that would be sad to see me go. But im a burden and a cancer and the only way to get rid of cancer is to cut it off tho i wont do that rn. I cant. I just cant. Want to but i cant.

Ill add latwr or nah idk. But i dont know

Sorry if you read this

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

MARGaRITAVIlLLE TRI3D 2 SCam MEH ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

HelllOOooooo yall it has been A mf minute since i hav posted bloggie cuz i hass been mf IN A Depressiee episode n traveling but also hustling hard afffff n also manically bleaching my hair n then toning it 2 silver then dying it back 2 brown which is now fading in 2 a blondeish reddish copper patchy thInggy.. ;p

whuts been new since i last bloggyedd on like 4th of july or some10... n hung out w ravers on a bender from electrickk forest cafe i meEAN forest rave. speekiingg of dat cafe i hav never been to rainforest cafe ;p lulzz. i updated moi tinder bio to 'NEWLY SINGLE SO KAN ONLY DO CASUAL BUT IF UR ON THE MARGARITAVILLE CRIUSE SHIP.....HMU 0.0 ' ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! n tha Cruiseshipp in west palm bITCH floridA def tried 2 charge me for fuel immisions n 'OPENING A WATER BOTTLE IN THE HOTEL ROOM' WHICH I DID NOT................the only CHAOzszz that i ENSUED THERE WUZ breaking the bathroom door [[[in my defense it was already hanging off the hinges]]] n needing 2 call tha maintence pplzz to cum fixx it while crying under my sheetzz,. tha cruise wuz whatev but shoutout to all the mILFS in the hot tub who were telling me to LOVE WHO I LOVE [[gay advocates]]. ;]] bc 'JESUS LUVS ME.' also Y were there no hawt pplzz in florida except the increasingly short ppl [ex wuz 4'11 n the only hawt person was a 4'9 shawty] .....

WHyyYyyyYYyy IS IT SO HARD 2 ACCEPT THAT THE MF BEAUTY STANDARD FOR CHRISTIANZZ WAS FUKIN LARRY THE CUCUMBER WITH NO HAIR BUT HAD A WHOLE ODE/SONG TO HIM BEING SOOOOOOoooo SAD HE LOST HIS HAIRBRUSHHHHHHHH n YYYYYY am i still replaying in my headdd when tht Gurl fell downwards from trying to jump a cargo train in front of mehh N YYYYY am i still craving ass eating on train trak n makin11-11 wishes on passin train cartz.

yES i hexed my ex and tha nxt day someone got shot outside his house n NO I DONT FEEL BAD AB IT BITCH CUZZ even tho i did get triggered WAKING UP 4 dayzz ago n SEEING HIM PRETENDING 2 B A FUCKING DOG oNLINE ......... i kan sleep in peace knowing i do not pretend 2 b DOGGO n AT THE END OF THE DAY IT IS ALL LUV BITCHhhhhhhh. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !whew. =]

dEFINING KETAMINE CHIC . [NOT CHICK.] having undiagnosed adhd until UR an 'ADULT...''' having 'acute pain of riGHT SHOULDER' as 1 of ur medical diagnoses......ASking FLOWErz if ur crush likes u Back cuz flowerzz nevr LIE,...spending at LEAST 4 hours a day wondering why charlixcx has soOooooo many songs ab carszz.......falling on sidewalk outside of moodring cuz everything lookin like lEGO BLOCKZ N GLITTERRRRRR ... being DEPRESSED cuz the age filter on tiktok makes u look like ur DAD n u kant make urself feel better by downloadng reiMI AI ART 2 C UR FUTURE BBBBBYYY. WLALLOWW. loving EVERYONEEEE but bein reecluse n keeping ur thots to urself meow mEOW NOWWW. always havin ur phone at lik less than 10 percent...,,.holding bloodstones 2 ur hart n googling ab shamanism at 4am cuz ur lik wondering why that Tboy that came over for hot disrespectful sexx ended up saging ur pussy n telling u ab how he got initiated into being a shaman by fighting for 11 eggs....,,.,.....havin tummy problems, nose drip N using toilet paper instead of ACtual tissue paper,..,..flashbacks of being told NO when u asked 2 lick the outside of someoness coffe pot.......DICKTIONARY 2 B CONTINUED

sooOOO many short poems compiled in my notes app tht idk where else 2 share sooo here it is

'it was 2am when we talked in ur kitchen, shoes off n ur face looked different'

'built me up 2 tear me down. sugary sweet cocoa puff u Were a radioactive bomb. whispers in my head u told me 2 never trust my friends,..'

'my sex is my poetry, yet my broad shoulders n straight posture an embodied personality,...i feel like a copy of what i thought i should be, by simply observing those around me'

'u apologized 4 walking in 2 my soul, said u treat ur friendz like tht...but bc of ur brain u kant remember much n i wanted 2 ask u how does it feel to experience everything lik it was the first time, but all the time'

YEepPpppp i defz still am sneaking in2 nowiezz by going thruu tha side door into tha yard/outdoor area N yaaaaa i am still somehow ordering uberzz back to bushwIG from paulsbabygrandd with only 1 percent then moii phone dying rite after ordering itt but then somehow finding the car a block down N tha driver miracuouslyy still waiting 4 uss lik 10 min later....N yaaa i am still almost getting kicked out of the MOxy cuz im being loud wiff moi fWEndzz in tha vintage photo booth........n YA still crushing on moi friendzzz new roomie wiFF terrible social anxiety n i DEF offeredd 2 walk they doggo 4 free cuz ima SIMPPP 4 SIMP. n def am tryna buy dem a plant cuz thts whut gay ppls do when they ask u if u wanna fugg/peace offering. n YASS i am still binge watching trash tv N surrounding moiself w ppl tht wanna 'AIR OUT ' in my room by stripping completly nekkid then takin a shower in moi shower n defz yam still SCREAMING at tha top of moi lungs cuz im ANGRY... n YAAA still sad there is no unique lesbian experience cuzz pplzz still wanna giv u they ex's anime/manga bookz . Vegas bound nxtt week n reddy 2 b outta town yet again n b wiff my best friend. ;] C U NXT WEKKKKKKK

LUV U ALLL xoxoxoxo renny69247 [my old tiktok username i am 1000000 percent still spiteful my old boss asked me to change for tiktok creds for styling jewlery on some bella hadid campaign. WHATEVZZZ.]