#I don’t know if half the shit I’m saying is even true I’m just mad and sad and suicidal

[how-gross]

February 18th, 2024 — 12:53am

There’s no true peace or happiness or tranquility. The world’s gonna get worse and worse and worse because no one does shit and leaves future generations to clean up the mess THEY made while simultaneously ensuring there are no more future generations. I want to be a book writer and a painter and a dancer / performer and I want to live in the woods off the grid and by myself at complete and utter peace but I can’t because of capitalism and taxes and bills and racism and sexism and I have to be a fucking neuropsychologist working 48 hours per week to make a living. I can’t afford to get sick or get injured or anything because universal healthcare doesn’t exist in the United States of fucking America especially not for afab of color. And AI is only getting better and better and soon enough they’ll replace human fucking beings with robots and paychecks won’t exist but I bet they’ll still force you to pay to live because you HAVE TO PAY TO FUCKING LIVE ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.

I want to kill my self. So fucking badly. There’s no point to living anymore if this is the world I have to grow up in. Growing up in a world where we all love each other and can rest happily and live peacefully is bullshit on a stick and everyone knows it, they just deny it. honestly think that everyone in country— HELL, in the entire fucking world should just commit mass suicide in front of government capital building or whatever the fuck it’s called so they can actually give a lick of a shit but God knows they won’t they only care about their wallets shortening.

And the funniest thing is I can’t even kill myself. I can’t. I can’t even fucking tell my therapist how I truly feel because she’ll throw me into the mental hospital which won’t fix me because again this is the United States of America and they don’t fucking care about their patients. And if I go to a mental hospital it’ll ruin my future and I wont be able to do fucking anything not to mention the mountains worth of utility bills I’ll have to pay. And there’s a chance I might live through it miraculously and I have to explain why I did it to my mom my dad my lover my friends and I can’t do that I’m not strong enough. And there’s a chance that the concept of an afterlife might actually exist and I’ll probably go to Hell because I killed myself and killed one of God’s creatures which deserves punishment of highest level and not even God can forgive me because even though there’s racists and pedophiles and rapists and nazis and white supremacists in the world me, an unremarkable boring regular teenager-about-to-be-adult lulling themselves is the worst crime in all of mankind apparently.

I fucking hate this world. Why did I have to be born? Why did I have to be born into this world specifically when it’s basically the equivalent to Hell?

[erwinsvow]

knocked up too young and wearing a glittery diamond ring on your left hand, you had settled nicely into the role of mrs. cameron. it wasn’t tough, not a hard position to play in the slightest—rafe, or rather your husband—made everything nice and easy for you.

it seemed like it was his biggest desire come true, making sure you and his little girl were taken care of. he liked it actually, more than he admitted, knowing the two of you were fast asleep in bed when he left for work in the morning, doing nothing but relaxing throughout the day.

in fact, he had decided the second you had tearfully confessed that you were pregnant that this was the sort of life you were meant for, the kind of life he was going to give you. you were so scared, he can remember it like it was yesterday—your watery eyes and wet cheeks, the way your hands shook when you pulled out the test to show him.

“i-i-i’m so sorry, i, i thought the pills were enough, everyone says it’s enough-” you were stammering and crying your way into exhausation, something he definitely didn’t like. 

“s’okay, kid. nothin’ to cry about.” he was formulating his plan already, being proactive in all matters, thinking ahead to marriage licenses and car seats while you stared down at the positive stick in your palm.

“you’re.. you’re not mad, rafe?” the way you look at him, the world stops spinning. why would he be mad?

“hey, s’done,” he says, hands on your shoulders to steady you, bringing you to the edge of the bed to take a seat. he takes the pregnancy test from your hands, looking down at it himself. “it already happened. can’t take it back. no point in cryin’ over it.” 

when you look up with even more tears in your eyes, he’s half convinced he’s said the wrong thing—but it doesn’t faze him, he keeps going.

“hey, hey. what, you thought i wouldn’t take care of you? this is my kid too.”

“i know, i just, i thought you wouldn’t be okay.. with it. having it.” that’s the first and only time he got stern with you through this whole pregnancy.

“hey, don’t talk like that. this is our baby. there’s no question ‘bout havin’ it.” you nod up at him, tears drying as you steady yourself, regain a little composure knowing rafe’s not mad about this little accident. “y’okay now?” you nod again. “good, call your parents. tell ‘em we’re getting married soon.” 

“wh-rafe!” 

but, like how most things were with rafe, he called the shots and you listened. the two of you got married shortly after, before you were even showing. anyone who even attempted to comment on the hastiness of everything shut up the second rafe stared at them.

you’d be a liar to say you didn’t like it, a fool if you didn’t appreciate how rafe was to you.

he stepped up in every way, better than you could have even tried to put together in your imagination. a place was purchased and had slowly started to become home, with a crib that rafe assembled by himself—though it had taken hours and ended up with the instruction papers all crumbled up in a corner—and baby proofed cabinets and sockets. you laugh watching rafe try to install the baby gate on the staircase.

“you know that’s for when they start crawling, right?” you giggle, a hand on your very pregnant belly.

“shut up. m’being proactive. gonna have no time once she actually gets here and we’re runnin’ around changing diapers and makin’ formula and shit.” 

you’re only a touch surprised with how well-versed he is with all the baby stuff, though you appreciate it more and more since you’re still a little confused and overwhelmed. he makes it all easy, from the pregnancy cravings he runs around to find for you to the pretty pink walls in the nursery. he even satisfies all your other cravings, like around month six when there was nothing you wanted more than rafe's dick in every position you could think of.

when his daughter actually comes into the world, the two of you are a mess of emotions and thoughts, but there’s only one rafe really cares about. when can he give you another one?

it doesn’t take long for him to start trying again—trying to convince you that the two of you can handle two, that little kids need siblings their age. the baby’s only six months old but he’s convinced it’ll be better to have them all young at the same time rather than waiting—at least that’s the line he feeds you.

“no, rafe, they’re gonna be like irish twins. it’s so embarassing,” you say next to him in bed, staring up at your husband. 

“what’s that?”

“when you have two babies that aren’t even a year apart.”

“oh. that’s a thing? good, at least there’s a name for it. i’ll get you a book on it, since that’s what we’re doin’.”

and try as you might, even you can’t resist rafe for long, not when he’s taking such good care of you and just wants to give you another baby with his blue eyes and your pretty hair. you end up in the same position that got you into this whole situation—your knees folded to your chest and eyes rolling back while rafe slams into you. 

“don’t worry, baby,” he breathes into your ear, low and quiet since the baby’s sleeping in the other room. “i’ll get y’knocked up again. won’t have to think about a thing in this world except my kids.”

it’s a shame you get pregnant so quickly—rafe was so fun when his only thought revolved around fucking you full of his cum. 

“well, s’not gonna be irish twins. too far apart,” rafe says, looking at the photos from the doctor’s appointment.

“no, it’s just regular twins.” you don’t think you’ve ever seen rafe so happy.

[torasplanet]

❝𝙄 𝙍𝙐𝙉 𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙏.ᐟ❞

H. RAN + AFAB. READER ft. I. KUROKAWA

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 ; ran gets so mad that he can't see through your fake apologies but izana does. he thinks it's cute how you believe that you run shit.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 ; smut, threesome, oral(reader giving and receiving), p in v, degradation,, izana and ran arguing over uuu, arguing, throat bulging, hair pulling, gagging, deepthroating, dp ig, daddy kink, brown skinned reader but skin color not mentioned, mention of rindou, petnames (slut, whore, princess, doll etc), couch sex, overstimulation, i think thats it, oh p2 to this

marls notes 2 u(*´▽｀*) ; here are the people who wanted prt 2 reallyyy badd!!! @mysouleaten

The photo of Izana gazing up at the camera while his face so deep in between your thighs was shoved in your face as Ran glared down at you “You’re a fucking slut, y’know that right?” Ran cursed at you as you swatted his phone away from your face. As much as you like looking at the picture, he was pissing you off by shoving that fucking phone in your face “I asked you what you did and you lied in my fucking face knowing you sent this shit to me.” The long-haired man angrily said to you getting all in your face. Nose to nose. Ran had never been this worked out about anything but it didn’t scare you, not one bit because you didn’t care. He could only blame himself for your infidelity.

Ran wasn’t willing to get on his knees for you like you were for him so you found someone who would without you even having to suck his dick. Well, you did suck Izana’s dick but that was after he ate you out. “I’m a slut because I wanted someone to eat my pussy? You weren’t going to do it so what the fuck was I supposed to do?” You asked pushing him away from you roughly. Ran looked at you as if you didn’t have any fucking common sense “I don’t know, not fuck my boss [Y/n]!” He yelled at you. The neighbors were probably ready to call the landlord on the two of you because of all the yelling that had been going on for the past half hour. Rindou was smart enough to leave when Ran asked you what you did the other day and got upset when you said nothing.

“I wouldn’t have had to fuck him if you did what I asked.” You said in a way calmer tone than his showing your true lack of care for the situation; it pissed ran off way more than the entire situation did. “You say it like I’ve never eaten you out before.” The Haitani male answered rolling his eyes at your comment which you scoffed at. “Once. I asked again and you didn’t but for some reason, I keep sucking your dick. Stupid.” Ran shrugged his shoulders as he chuckled a bit under his breath as if he didn’t care but you knew that he did.

“You know why. You’re the one that’s always pleading for more and more.” Ran paused to raise his voice a few octaves prepared to mock you “Daddy, I can feel it in my tummy! So warm! Uhn, Uhn, Uhn!” He teased with that stupid smirk on his face as you frowned, your nails digging into the palms of your hands in agitation. No matter what, Ran always made it his mission to tease you and be an absolute dick, especially in arguments. It didn’t matter how mad he got because his mission was to make you more upset than he was.

You glared at him “I ain’t fuck him because your dick was bad, I fucked him because his head was good.” Ran’s eyes narrowed at you just as yours did to him before he let that word slip from his mouth again “Slut.” Your hand was quick to swipe across his face leaving a red handprint on his right cheek. You were getting pretty fucking tired of him trying his hardest to irritate you because it was actually working. Whatever he was going to do, you wanted him to just do it and get the fuck out of your face.

“If you’re gonna leave just leave.” You said as Ran looked at you frankly unbothered by the slap to his face. He couldn’t count on both his hands how many times you’ve slapped him and this was not the hardest. You could do better honestly if you really wanted him to leave. “Nah, I wanna hear you say why you cheated. I want to hear those words come out of your mouth.” You scoffed once again. The fuck else did he want? A porno of you and Izana?

When you didn’t respond, ran began to walk closer to you forcing you further back until your lower legs hit the bed but he didn’t stop there, he kept walking until you were forced to sit on the edge of the bed and stare up at him as he loomed above you just waiting for you to speak “Wanted someone to eat that slutty pussy huh?” Ran asked brushing back his long hair that was free from the twin braids it usually was in. You didn’t say anything but nodded, still looking up at him through the small blades of hair that rested on your eyelids. His attitude right now was sort of turning you on…getting so worked up and upset. If he wasn’t going to leave, the least he could do was take out all that anger by fucking you. Maybe you were a slut like he said.

Ran gave a smile full of false sympathy as his hand crept up and grabbed your chin tilting your head up forcefully, he glanced down at your legs and saw how your thighs were beginning to rub against each other showing your need right now “Aw, wanna get fucked?” The Haitani male cooed to you. You knew exactly how to play ran to get what you wanted, all you needed was to play the embarrassed role and give a small apologetic look. “Yeah.” You said nodding gently and Ran cooed again as his smile grew.

His hand dropped from your face “Why don’t you get your new boy toy to help then?” He said not dropping the gentle tone he had just to toy with you a bit and you will admit, it did throw you off a bit but it’s okay. Sometimes things took a little more work for you to get what you wanted. “No please ran.” You said grabbing hold of his hand before he got the chance to turn his back on you. You looked up at him with fake tears glazing over your eyes “I’m sorry…I really am.” You pleaded trying to drag him closer to you.

“Are you sorry or do you want dick?” Dick. You could never be sorry for getting what you want, it’s not like you did it without asking him to eat you out because then you’d feel bad but you gave him a warning. Not like he cared about that bullshit so you had to give him a little apology to give him what he wants. The number one rule to not letting a man run you is learning when to give those fake tears and apologies so you can get whatever you want. “M’ sorry. Please, Daddy.” Ran’s grin turned nasty at how you addressed him. He was so easy to please.

Ran grabbed your jaw and leaned down to connect his lips to yours roughly leaning down just a little bit. He forced his leg between your thighs making you part your legs wider to give him better access and he pushed his leg right against your clothed cunt making you moan into his mouth “Feel good?” Ran asked in between kisses as he put his hands on your shoulders. You hummed happily in response letting him push you to lie on the bed, legs still dangling over the edge. Ran broke the kiss and caged you between his arms and stared at you, his long hair coming undone from behind his ear and floating above your face.

“I don’t wanna give you a reason to go to him for some shit like this ever again,” Ran said sternly and you grinned up at him as your thighs squeezed around his leg “Then eat my fucking pussy ran.” You said a bit meaner than you anticipated but it got your point across because his hands went to your legs that were clamped tight around his leg that had stopped moving at this point. Ran lowered himself to his knees onto the carpeted floor of the bedroom and spread your legs wide for him “As you wish pretty.” The blonde and black-haired man said as his fingers traveled up your legs tickling your skin on the way. His long fingers hooked onto the waist of your pants and panties and pulled them both down in one swoop, you kicked them off to a random place in the room and stared down at Ran just waiting for his head to go between your thighs.

He made eye contact with you before slowly putting his face between your legs and he began to lap at your clit making you mewl. You grabbed at the blankets and bucked your hips up as a way to tell him to stop teasing you making him smile on your clit and just when he was getting started to tongue-fuck your hole that was just soaked, squeezing around pure nothing, there was a knock at the door.

What the fuck. You groaned loudly sitting up as Ran rose from your pussy “I got it.” He said delivering a light slap to your pussy making you shiver before he hopped away toward the front door leaving you there with your lower half naked. If that was Rindou who forgot his key, I’ll kill him, you thought rolling your eyes as you waited patiently for your boyfriend to get back and give some stupid excuse for what it was. “Pretty, why don’t you come here for a second?” You heard Ran shout from the living room confusing you.

You gently tilted your body to the side to peek out of the open door and your heart dropped just a tad bit. Ran was grinning at you and Izana in the doorframe of the front door with that careless look on his face that he always had. You had completely forgotten that you told Izana he could come over today. In your defense, you thought that Ran and Rindou were going to be out doing some stupid shit today not that you and Ran would argue until it lead to angry sex. Standing up, you felt a bit nervous and you didn’t want to go out there at all but you did.

Izana’s eyes drifted from your face to your lower half and a small smile appeared on his face but he didn’t say anything “Pretty, why don’t you answer the question I asked you earlier? Seems like the perfect time right now.” Ran said draping an arm over your shoulder, he didn’t look at you because his gaze was locked on Izana. There was a smile on his face but it was obvious from the look in his eyes that he did not like Izana being here, hated it actually and it was probably taking everything in him not to launch at Izana.

Maybe it was because he just got the best idea of his life or because Izana could beat his ass very easily. Your eyes shifted to Ran as you nervously shifted in place. You would like to say that you didn’t know why you were so nervous now when you were just so confident about defending your actions but you knew. Having Izana and Ran near you while you were practically naked and dripping was embarrassing. You didn’t know how you’d be able to handle both of them. Telling ran whatever he wanted to hear would not be what Izana wanted and vice versa, you would not be able to lie to them and make them both happy. Rule number two of not letting a man run you is to know when you’re outnumbered and when it’s time to give up and standing here with these two men looming over you waiting for you to speak was definitely telling you that it’s time to give up. Your false apologies may work on them if you played your cards right but that’s it and you didn’t want to risk it failing.

“Don’t look at me, look at your little boy toy.” Ran said glancing down at you before looking at Izana once again who gave a snarky smile “Don’t call me little.” Izana not being bothered by being labeled as your boy toy was not surprising but he was not little. Not by a long shot in any way.

Your eyes shifted to Izana like you were told “Go ahead, tell him why you ran to him.” Ran said a little more stern this time showing he was getting upset at your lack of words. He slapped your bare ass hard making you yelp and jump slightly earning a laugh out of Izana “Wanted to get my pussy ate…” You muttered. The nervousness and hesitation to answer the question were real this time and Ran grinned, you wondered if he knew you were lying the entire time. Izana cooed at your demeanor and then his eyes flickered back to Ran.

“So what? Is this your way of telling me you want to watch when I eat your girlfriend out?” Izana asked with a mocking grin on his face and Ran almost laughed seriously. “Ha, no. I want you to tell me how you did it so she never has a reason to see you again.” Ran said. He wasn’t asking, he was demanding it and luckily for him, Izana wasn’t too against this idea especially because of how you seemed to quake at the request. Ran was so serious about you not leaving that he’d actually do this shit? Was that the case or did he just want to embarrass you to teach you a lesson? To teach you that in fact, you didn’t run shit.

Izana leaned against the door that had closed behind him a long time ago. “So a tutorial? I’ll do it but if you think that’s gonna stop her from coming to me or for me, you’re stupider than I thought you were.” Ran went to protest against the assumption but when he noticed that Izana wasn’t even looking at him and instead focusing on you, he decided to be quiet and listen to what was going to be said. Izana lifted his hand and gestured for you to come closer to him with two of his fingers, his grin widened as he observed how nervous you seemed. From the moment he walked in the door, the air in the apartment seemed to shift and he almost giggled as he remembered how your once calm and slightly annoyed look dropped when you saw he was here.

He wondered what happened before he got here. You stepped just a bit closer to him and his hand went to your chin holding it gently and you seemed to get even more nervous, you didn’t want Ran to find out about your false apologies. Izana didn’t look like he’d care that much but ran would and knowing Izana…he’d exploit that annoyance and use it to his advantage. What would happen after that was beyond you but you knew you’d be a part of it.

And you wanted it. You wanted it so fucking bad.

Izana’s lilac eyes flickered past you and to Ran “What’d you do to her? Princess looks like she’s gonna cry…” He said in a mocking tone and you damn nere were going to cry with how he was saying that “Nothin’. She was just begging for me a second ago, how she was so sorry for getting a side bitch.” You should’ve known better really…if you remembered that Izana was coming over, maybe just maybe you would’ve done literally anything else than lie to ran because of course he was going to bring it up to be petty. The purple gaze that was lighter than your boyfriend's came back to you and his hold on your face became cold and you got even more scared. You were just mere words away from getting cornered because of your own lies.

“Really? Are you sorry?” Izana asked knowing damn well you weren’t. See Izana was a lot smarter than Ran, not to say Ran was stupid but Izana was definitely smarter and he saw right through those lies despite not hearing them from you himself. You were not sorry. If you were sorry, you would not have invited him over. You lied to ran and that dumbass believed you because you stuck your bottom lip out and acted like you needed him. But he wasn’t going to be the one to break that news to ran, he wanted you to do it and admit that you lied. Ran raised an eyebrow at your silence as you avoided eye contact with Izana, Ran’s hands found their way on your hips. As if to give you a little push in the direction of answering but you remained silent until Izana tilted his head giving you that look. It was a threat.

“I don’t know…” You muttered quietly and Izana’s thumb grazed over your cheek “So I guess that’s a no.” Izana muttered almost as quietly as your words were and Ran chuckled lowly from behind you “Why am I even surprised? You’re lying so you can get dick?” He said and you knew that his words had evil intent. He wanted revenge.

Izana nodded in agreement “Seems like princess wants two. Such a bad girl being selfish.” Izana said with that kind tone he always used but it was different. He was mocking you just a tad bit. He got closer to your face, and his grip on your chin was harsh forcing you to make eye contact with him “I’ma help your dear boyfriend learn to eat your sloppy pussy out and then we can find out what to do with you, understand doll?” Izana asked and you nodded in response still remaining eye contact with him and Ran did not like that at all. His fingers dug into the bare skin of your hips before he yanked you away from the white-haired man.

“Get on the couch and spread ‘em,” Ran said reaching his hand around to slap your cunt making you squeal and hurry over to the couch. Izana and Ran then made eye contact after watching your form scurry over to the couch and lie down “You seem upset.” Izana said, the smile on his face not faltering at all.

“I’m not. Why would I be?” Ran asked with the same smile, his words were almost teasing.

Izana shrugged. “I’d be mad too but I’m just the side bitch, so I wouldn’t understand, right?” He said with his smile growing into a toothy one before walking past Ran and making his way over to the side of the couch where your head rested. Ran wished he could hit Izana, beat his ass even but he’d never win that fight. He’d die before he got another hit on the Kurokawa so he just sighed lowly and focused on his anger toward you.

Ran sat on his hind legs on the couch right in front of your spread legs, on the opposite end that Izana was leaning on just floating above your head. He looked at you and then his eyes slowly trailed down to your bare cunt that was wet. Slut. Getting wet from watching them argue over you and out you as a liar and a cock-hungry whore. “Let’s get this off, princess,” Izana said grabbing the end of the shirt you wore before pulling it off and throwing it somewhere in the room and he grinned at the sight of your bare tits, nipples already hard. “No bra. Just how I like you.” Izana muttered pressing his lips against your cheek getting closer and closer to your lips with each small kiss and as much as you wanted to kiss him back; Ran was glaring at you almost daring you to kiss him “Uhm…” You said quietly to gain Izana’s attention.

He looked at you and then at Ran as his hands trailed down to your shoulders and rested on your collarbones “What are you waiting for? Show me how you go down on her.” Izana said to Ran a bit upset because he stopped you from kissing him back. Ran’s hands grabbed your thighs before he immediately dove his head in between your legs after rolling his eyes at Izana.

“No wonder she came to me. You just dive right in like a maniac.” Izana insulted caressing your face gently as you leaned your head back on the arm of the couch to look up at the tanned male with little whimpers leaving your lips. Ran slapped the inside of your thigh forcing you to look down at him, he had a sour look on his face obviously annoyed by Izana’s talk. However, you could care less what was going on between them because you were between the two of them, you just wanted ran to finally touch you but they were too busy arguing.

Izana reached his hand down to your chest and began to play with your nipple making you moan with a few sobs laced between it “See? Gotta tease her a little bit, work her up, and make her beg.” The short-haired male said remaining eye contact with Ran as you shook beneath him. It pissed Ran off so much that Izana was just there playing with you like you were his toy while staring at him dead in his eyes but Ran couldn’t say that he didn’t enjoy watching you squirm and whine.

Ran did what Izana told him and began to deliver small kisses on your bare thighs, biting just a little bit and smiling into your skin as he got closer to the parts of your thighs that were completely soaked from your arousal showing your true need for them. “P-Please…just want more.” You mewled grabbing Izana’s hand holding it tight and digging your nails into his skin but he merely chuckled and cooed at you “You can wait. Just a little longer.” Izana’s breath was hot on your ear and it was teasing.

Like everything else going on right now, it made you wetter and more needy. You just wanted them to touch you but they weren’t going to do that, they wanted to play with you like a game. “You say it like she deserves it.” Ran commented with a chuckle before biting into your thigh harshly making you squirm more, you reached for Izana in hopes that he might convince Ran to go easier on you “Izana…p-please ‘m really sorry.” You whined grabbing onto his hand while looking at him with teary eyes but he didn’t even get a chance to respond because Ran once again, bit your thigh making you yelp.

“He’s not saving you. He’s enjoying seeing you all teary-eyed, baby.” Ran said with an evil grin on your face as you looked at him while Izana continued to silently fondle with parts of your body. You sniffed while whining just wanting him to stop being so mean. Ran has always been mean but he’s being extra mean. Biting you harsher than normally, grabbing at the fat of your thighs to dig his nails into your skin causing indents, he was being a jerk but you were a liar. A whore and a liar. So he felt like you deserved it and Izana did too but he was mainly enjoying it than rather indulging in it.

This dynamic was so entertaining to him along with how you jumped at the slightest touch. Showed how needy you were for some dick. “’ M sorry Daddy!” You whined aloud. Izana resisted the urge to laugh, of course, you called ran ‘daddy’, guys who don’t eat pussy always wanted to get called daddy. “Princess…I’m feeling a little neglected. Maybe if you showed me some attention, I’d give you what you want or…one thing.” Izana said with his grin extending during his pause and you looked up at him.

“I’m sorry…make me feel good baby. Please.” You pleaded just wanting some form of relief, and ran’s kisses every-fucking-where but your clit was beginning to piss you off and he shoved you down every time you tried to buck your hips up. Izana leaned down and pressed his lips to yours engaging in a sloppy kiss, his tongue swiped along your bottom lip asking you to open your mouth and you obviously did. Izana’s hand held onto your face as he deepened the kiss and took control “W-Want…” Your whisper in the kiss made Izana laugh just a bit. So greedy.

He broke the kiss and stared at you with the same sneaky grin on his face and his thumb ran over your bottom lip making you open your mouth thinking he wanted to shove his fingers in your mouth. It was almost shameful how slutty you were acting “Such a filthy hole. Gonna put it to use okay?” His words were so filthy. Disgusting and you drooled at the thought of him fucking your face. You wanted his cock so bad or ran’s. Both.

It was almost hilarious how bold you were earlier in comparison to how you were just begging to be silenced by cock. You looked up at Izana with an upside-down view as he began to shuffle his sweats off and his tight-fitting boxers allowing his cock to spring up, his brown tip leaking a bit of precum. Your lips popped open wide prepared for him and it made him grin, he had you wrapped around his finger like a ribbon but from the way your body was shaking from just small touches from Ran and him blowing on your clit; it seemed like he’d have to share you but he didn’t care really…as long as he still had you at his feet even if ran was right beside him sharing your gaze.

“Ah–” You said quickly as Izana grabbed hold of your face before stuffing his thick cock into your mouth, his heavy balls resting on your face as you sucked him off as best as you could from the position of your head. A glob of drool began to trail down your chin and Ran watched as you fell apart over just some dick in your mouth, your mouth as almost as sloppy as your pussy that was drooling just as you were. “So messy,” Ran muttered tucking hair behind his hair before placing his hands back on your thighs to prevent them from closing. He could tell that you wanted to close them badly from how they flinched toward each other every other second.

“Keep ‘em open for me,” Ran said and you hummed in response to this, not even being able to nod or speak because of Izana’s cock. His hands drifted from your inner thighs and to your cunt where he spread your lower lips watching as your hole squeezed around nothing. As ran began to drift down for his mouth to meet your cunt, Izana found an opportunity to piss him off. “Didn’t I say not to act like an animal? Suck on her clit first.” The short-haired male said with a helpful tone but it was obvious to everyone else in the room that he was not trying to do that.

Ran growled loudly under his breath intensely annoyed with the other man but still grinned at him “I was just going to do that so why don’t you focus on fucking up her face?” He said similarly to Izana’s words with false kindness making Izana let out a small chuckle before he tilted his down at you and ran his fingers across your cheek “Looks like daddy’s angry–” Izana’s gaze went to Ran again “better take that out on her.” He continued flashing his whites at the man before shoving his dick farther down your throat making you choke all while remaining eye contact with your boyfriend.

Ran merely rolled his eyes and continued his actions, immediately latching his lips onto your clit like earlier and you shouted around Izana’s dick but it was only a muffled sound whose only purpose was to be laughed at by the male above you “Fuck. So pretty moanin’ like this–ngh.” Izana moaned with you as he slowly began to move his hips to fuck into your mouth. Your thighs clamped around Ran’s head, his hair tickling the back of your knee as your back arched up from the cushions of the couch. Ran’s large hands held onto your hips as he began to eat you out, tongue-fucking your soaking hole.

“U-Use your fingers too–ugh. Makes her cum like a virgin.” Izana directed squeezing his eyes shut while he continued to fuck your throat raw making it sore, there was even a small bulge in your throat from it. One of Izana’s hands made its way down to your chest and he grabbed at your tit harshly, teasing your nipples and pinching them while Ran did what Izana told him to. He began to plunge two of his fingers into your pussy as he made out with your clit.

His fingers swipe over the ridges of your plush walls teasing you and purposefully missing your g-spot just by one small touch “P-Please Daddy.” You managed to say, it was hardly a sentence from how mangled it was but they both understood it enough especially Izana with how you looked up at him with watery eyes just begging him to tell Ran to make you cum. “I don’t think you really deserve it, princess. Liars don’t deserve anything.” He said harshly making you whine.

Your walls got tight around ran’s fingers hoping he’d touch your sweet spot. Ran removed his lips from your clit and looked up at Izana “Nah, I think she does deserve it. She deserves everything.” You were too busy in your dreams of bliss to even notice what he said or how he and Izana looked at each other, having a silent conversation about the fate of your pleasure but they had come to a conclusion that they both agreed to. You deserved to cum. You really did.

“Hm, you’re right. Make the whore cum all over the couch.” Izana said and Ran didn’t have to be told twice to dive back between your legs that were quaking just begging him to go back under. The fingertips of ran’s fingertips grazed over your sweet spot making you moan like a pornstar.

He began to ram his fingers in and out of your pussy, the wet sounds echoing in your ear and Izana threw his head back, moaning not only at how good your throat felt closing around his dick but how nasty your pussy sounded. Ran’s long fingers hit your g-spot over and over making you yelp with each hit and your legs trembled around your boyfriend’s head while you allowed Izana just to use your throat as he pleased. It was enjoyable for you too, you felt yourself inching closer and closer to your orgasm as they both used you how they wanted.

Izana groaned loudly with his deep voice bouncing off the walls as he came down your throat. You coughed just a bit as you swallowed it, the thick and slightly sour consistency sliding down your aching throat with ease as if you were built for that purpose only “So fucking good.” The man said rubbing his hands all over your body as he came down from his high, breathing heavily as the white stands of his hair stuck to his sweaty forehead but you…you were still enjoying yourself. Your moans were audible now and they were sluttier than they were muted.

Your hands immediately flew to Ran’s full head of hair grabbing at his long locks “Ah! D-Daddy, f-feel s’good!” The moans spilled from your swollen lips, it was so hard for your words not to become mush with how they were playing with your body. Izana leaned forward and pressed his cheek against yours while tweaking your solid nipples “Baby…t’much. Can’t take ‘nymore!” You mewled blinking up at Izana, it felt so good but it was too overwhelming for you. He was playing with your body while Ran was fucking you with his fingers and sucking at your bundle of nerves.

A small kiss on your cheek and a simple statement were all you got from him “Yeah you can doll, gon’ take as much as we give you right?” Izana asked lowly in your ear and when you didn’t respond, he frowned. You continued to blabber out incomprehensible moans completely ignoring him and he didn’t like that, at all. He slapped your tit harshly making you yell loudly “Yeah, Yeah! I will, baby I promise!” You shouted squeezing your eyes shut and letting the tears stream down your cheeks that would leave marks when the salty liquid dried.

You bucked your hips up to get Ran’s fingers to go deeper, you were almost there. Just right there. “Ah! Cummin’, ‘m gonna cum!” Ran smiled into your pussy as he continued to lap at your clit and quicken the pace of his fingers to make you cum faster, drool dribbled from your lips as you continued to whimper, moan and shout from everything they were doing to you. Your thighs quaked whilst your walls fluttered around ran’s digits. Quickly, your orgasm rushed over you and you squirted all over Ran’s hand and face, dampening the couch cushions in the process.

As you breathed heavily, coming down from your high while Izana kissed all over your neck and face to soothe you, you saw Ran lifting his face from your cunt but then he started to play with the button of his jeans “...Huh?” You huffed in confusion tilting your head slightly and you felt Izana’s lips stretching into a smile onto your skin “Did you think we were done doll?” Izana asked and you didn’t respond and only continued to watch as Ran got rid of his pants and boxers. His hands grabbed hold of your thighs again and dragged you down the couch closer to him.

Ran let go of your thighs and then began to put his hair in a low ponytail with the hairband on his wrist “You wanna cum so bad? You’re gonna keep coming until we feel like stopping.” He said with a malicious grin on his face. Ran’s anger was no longer directed toward Izana, you weren’t even sure if he was angry anymore. But he pushed it aside regardless to team up with Izana to make you regret what you did and you were already near to tears before they even started.

You thought you ran shit but you didn’t. They ran everything, they ran your mind, your orgasm, your pussy and they were going to run that slutty ass pussy all the way through.

©torasplanet .ᐟ reblogs and likes are very appreciated! pls do not repost!!

[kirishima-eijirock]

@katsuslover asked: Making katsuki jealous by talking w deku or something and he's all sulky and a baby and u show him why he's better

a/n: omg hell yessss I made it a little angsty but I hope he’s not too OOC

You narrow your eyes at the blonde sitting right in front of you. His eyes narrowed and his lips pulled into a deep frown that you’ve never seen before. Clenched fists that are slightly shaking, he glares down at the floor with such an intensity that almost frightens you. Almost.

He’s been that way for the past half an hour, with no warnings at all. It’s weird, how this morning he wasn’t giving two fucks about anyone or anything at all, and now he’s just… furious isn’t even the word to describe it. Neither is rage. This is something else, and you knew it.

“Kats, just spit it out already.”

You’ve been trying to coax an explanation out of him for the past twenty-seven minutes, and yes, you’ve been counting. He’s never hid his anger from you. Or anyone, actually. But definitely not you.

“Kats, I swear to god, if you don’t start saying anything then I’ll go back to my conversation with Midoriya—”

“Get that bastard’s name out of your mouth.”

It was a quick mumble. A short demand. A command, if you will. He’s never said shit about Midoriya with such pure hatred that it did confuse you, and you started to question if you really understood Katsuki in the first place. 

His brow furrowed and his teeth gritted, his glare shifts from the floor to your shoulder, avoiding your direct gaze. He couldn’t bring himself to glare at you, no. The last thing that he wanted to do was to direct his anger at you. You were one of the most precious people in his life, and he wasn’t gonna risk anything, much less even glaring, to fuck it up. But looking down and glaring at the floor looked utterly pathetic, too. So his eyes dart from the wall behind you, to your shoulder and neck, but never your face. You didn’t deserve that. It wasn’t your fault, either.

He knew it’s not your fault, so why did it sting so much to hear you laughing with that bastard? He didn’t get it.

“Never mind. ‘M fine. It’s nothing.”

“Kats, you can’t be mad like that and not explain yourself.”

It’s true. He knew that he owed you an explanation, and a good one. Shame crept up on him as he realised that he snapped at you. That you were on the receiving end of his anger. The promise he made to himself— to never, ever make you upset, or to ever let you feel like the reason that he’s mad— was now broken in his eyes.

“I’m… sorry. For snapping at you. It’s not your fault,” he mumbled under his breath. 

It wasn’t snapping, but he hated the fact that he still could have upset you. 

“Kats, it’s okay. I’m fine, I promise. What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything that’s on your mind, right?”

“No, it’s nothing,” he mumbled, though it’s clear that his snapping only made him more irritated with himself.

“It’s not nothing if you’re…” you trail off, not wanting to point out the current tears in his eyes. 

“Huh? I’m what?” Still oblivious to the tears, he looked around and found nothing.

“Kats, seriously. Tell me, now.”

The firm gaze directed at him from your eyes made him freeze, and the gentle tone in your voice made him hesitate. He was surprised, to say the least, that you were still here, trying to help him while he stood there in front of you like an idiot. If you left now, he wouldn’t have been surprised. In fact, he understood why you would do that, and he couldn’t blame you. This emotional, vulnerable part of him finally showed for the first time in your relationship. 

It surprised you, just a little. You knew he hated showing emotions besides happiness and the occasional happiness, but never tears. He never cried solely in front of you, at least.

He felt weak, so… pathetic. 

And on the other hand, you were there, trying to help him and coax some coherent words out of him, before finally giving up with a sigh

“Kats, if you don’t wanna talk, then we can save that for another time. I won’t push you any further if you’re getting uncomfortable.”

He’s never felt comfort like this. Not warmth, or such gentleness either. It’s so new to him, but in the best ways that he couldn’t describe. 

What was this feeling? His heart was bittersweet now. His loathing towards Midoriya was worsening, but the sweetness in your voice was making it fade away slowly.

“I promise I’m fine,” he rasped out. 

“Okay, Kats. As long as you’re alright,” you murmured, not really pushing him to speak unless he really wanted to.

He took a deep breath, not sure how to address the issue.

“Look, I don’t know what to feel when you’re talking to that damn Deku,” he stated plainly.

“You don’t know what to feel? What are you talking about?”

“I’m not stopping you from having friends, okay? I just don’t like how giggly and shit you were with him,” he huffed.

“Well… why not?”

“It just bugs me, that’s all. Just feel like I should be the reason you’re laughing. Not him.” 

Oh. It finally clicked in your mind. He was jealous. You wanted to point it out, but it could sour his mood further, so you decided against it for the time being.

“Well, if that was the case, you could have just told me. I wouldn’t have a problem with that.”

You were too sweet, too understanding. It was hard for him to believe that he deserved it. That he deserved you. 

“Really?”

“Yes, really, Kats. You don’t need to worry that I’ll be upset, okay?” 

He nodded slowly, still not used to this amount of sincerity and care from someone.

He was never this soft, or vulnerable to anyone. You, however, were an exception. He wasn’t afraid to show it to you, and even though he wasn’t used to it, he sure as hell wasn’t complaining. 

“Thanks…” a soft mumble of thanks left his lips, happy how this confrontation went.

@angelshimaa angst for you :)))

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for telling my partner they need to be better at communicating during sex?

NSFW ask, but this has been an ongoing issue for a while and I’m very frustrated

My (19M) partner (21NB) is my first true sexual partner. They’ve been with other people in the past, some good experiences but mostly bad. I on the other hand have dated before and have had pseudo-sexual relationships (just touching) but my partner is the first person I’ve properly done the horizontal tango with

That being said, with my just-touching exes, we’ve always been extremely careful about communication in the moment. My most recent ex and I had the stoplight method even when we weren’t being kinky. It was reassuring to be able to check up on her and for her to be able to do the same. Maybe we were playing is too safe, idk, but that’s what I became comfortable with during sex

With my current partner, however, this has never been the case with their exes. I think I might be the first partner they’ve had that actually took time before making any sexual advances to ask them what they like and how I can make them happy because in the moment when I did, they looked confused.

Being horny young adults, we did eventually sleep together, and during the act, I realized that neither of us had checked in on the other outside of the initial “is this okay?” when removing clothes (I was the one who asked) so I slowed my roll and asked my partner if they were with me. They were not. They sputtered and said that I brought them out of the moment, and I became really really concerned that they had been disassociating the entire time because of previous sexual trauma. I told them I wanted to stop, they did not, so I rolled off and whispered into their ear while (and I apologize for not finding a better way to describe this without being overly graphic) I was straight jorkin’ em off. They were happy, they fell asleep, and I felt awful.

About half an hour later they kicked me out because their mom was coming home from a New Years Eve party (it was my 19th birthday which also hurt), but that’s not relevant, I just need the timeline in place.

We’ve done more sexual things since then and every time I try to check on them, they get weirded out. I stopped doing it in the moment so overtly and changed tactics to asking “what can I do for you” and “what do you need baby”, and this seems to get the job done. However, afterwards when I ask actually ask them how they were feeling, they would say that “the afterglow’s ruined” (which is wild because we’ve been together for six months and I’ve never finished -> I am a pre-op transman and my partner is AMAB, aka has told me that they don’t know what to do with my parts and once joked that sex would be easier if I had a dick, for context)

The last straw was tonight (March 4th) when they came over to my place and we started making out. I wasn’t really feeling it, so I tried to back off and shift to just lazy kisses, but my partner didn’t stop so I pulled away and said: “not tonight, baby”

They said: “if you weren’t in the mood, why did you kiss me?”

I said: “because I like kissing you?”

They said: “you should have told me you didn’t want to do anything. I don’t want to get the wrong idea.”

I said: “I’m sorry, I should have. I thought I wanted to, but I changed my mind. Can we go back to watching anime?”

They said yes and we watched another episode of a show (dungeon meshi!!) before I finally asked them why they don’t check in with me the way I do with them

They said: “I don’t like talking during sex. Ruins the vibe”

I said: “Okay, so can we find a system that lets the other know how we’re feeling when we don’t want to talk? Like how I use signs when I go nonverbal?”

They said: “I don’t see the point. If you don’t want to fuck, just push me off.”

I got mad and said: “What is wrong with you? I don’t want to push you off, I want to talk about it!”

They told me I was getting worked up and left. It’s been two hours and I feel like total shit for pushing the subject when they’ve expressed that they don’t like my expectations for sex. Am I too high maintenance?

TL;DR, I annoyed my partner by asking too many times for them to talk to me during sex, they got pissed and left my house. Atia for asking too many times?

What are these acronyms?

[moonstruckme]

Dude I just get my hearing aid after have trouble hearing for some months

Could I request one for any character you like with a reader with hearing problem? When it happens they already in relationship so it a big change for both of them?

Cos not everyone in my family take it kindly... So it might happen in relationship too right?

I'm sorry you had to wait so long lovely! I don't have much experience with hearing impairments, so I apologize if anything is inaccurate—please feel free to let me know! And thank you for requesting <3

cw: frustrations around not hearing well, difficulties aquiring healthcare

Steve Harrington x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

You’re dicing onions, blinking hard against the fumes and trying to make as quick work of it as you can, when something touches your lower back. You gasp and jolt, knife slipping down the curvature of the onion and scaring you badly enough that you drop it as you spin around. 

Steve looks just as startled as you do, staring at you with wide eyes. Lately, you’ve had trouble catching everything people say when they talk, but that’s not an issue now because he’s immediately yelling. 

“Jesus—shit!” He drops into a squat, picking up the knife you hadn’t realized had clattered to your feet. Your heart’s still going a mile a minute, his panic fueling your own. “What the hell was that?” 

You press your fingers to your temples, mindless of the vegetable juice stickying your hairline. “Oh my god,” you pant, “you scared me!” 

You see it click in Steve’s face. “You couldn’t—I said hi when I came in.” He shakes his head, agitated. “You hummed back!” 

“I didn’t.” 

“You did!”

“I must have been humming about something else!” A belated, frightened tear leaks from your eye, and you take a harsh breath, trying to slow the adrenaline racing through your bloodstream. “I didn’t hear you.” 

The appearance of tears reverses your boyfriend’s demeanor in an instant. “Hey,” he says, now soft enough that you see his lips form the word more than hear it. He sets the knife on the counter, gripping your upper arms. “Okay, I’m sorry. Don’t cry.” 

“It’s the onions,” you huff, though you’re not sure that’s strictly true. 

He makes a sound that might be a word and pulls you into his chest. You fist your hands in the material of his sweatshirt, still a little bit furious at him. Or maybe at everyone. Everything. 

Steve says something else, and you sigh. 

“Can’t hear you.” 

Usually he’s better about this, but you still get sick of saying it. It feels like he’s making you remind him, forcing you to admit you can’t get on just the same as everybody else, though of course you know he’d never do that. Steve’s a good guy down to his bones. You’re just mad, lately. 

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he says at an audible volume. “I thought you could hear the door, and then when you seemed like you responded to me saying hi…I just thought I was good.” 

“It’s fine.” 

You’re shaking just slightly, the adrenaline working its way out of your system, and when Steve notices he tightens his grip on you as if he can contain your panic. 

“I almost made you cut your own finger off,” he says. 

“Well, I didn’t.” 

“Still.” He presses a kiss into your hair. “How long until you can get a hearing aid again?” 

Irritation prickles down your spine. “I don’t know. I’m still working it out with the insurance company.” 

Steve must hear the darkness seeping into your tone, because he gives your upper back a solid rub. “Let me know if there’s any way I can help.” 

You have to clamp your jaw shut, the temptation to be cruel sharp and cutting in your mouth. You could help by remembering to speak up, you want to say. It doesn’t seem like you’re asking that much of him. You can understand when other people forget, but Steve lives with you. It’s not so hard to raise his voice a little when he wants you to understand what he’s saying. Half the time, you can’t even hear yourself when you speak because you’re trying to be considerate of him and talk at a normal volume. When he doesn’t do the same for you, it makes you feel like you’re in this alone. 

Still, you know these thoughts don’t have so much to do with a deficiency in your boyfriend as your upset over your own change in circumstance. All of a sudden, the way you experience the entire world has shifted. You hate asking Steve to accommodate you, and you wish that you didn’t have to ask, but it’s nobody’s fault that you’re both still adjusting. In the time between now and when you eventually get a hearing aid, you’re just going to have to get used to this feeling that you’re a world apart from him. It’s not his fault he can’t be in it with you. 

Steve pulls away from the hug but keeps his hands on your arms, and he’s looking at you oddly. Considering. For all the shit you give him about not understanding when you need help, he really can surprise you with his intuition sometimes. Maybe he just knows you that well. 

You’re about to ask What? and hope your voice doesn’t come out as pissy as you feel when he says, in a tone somehow both loud and gentle, “Maybe I could get you a walkie talkie.” 

You blink. “Huh?” 

“Dustin just got these ones that light up when someone’s talking to you,” he explains. He lets you go, leaning back with his elbows on the counter opposite you and a pensive furrow between his brows. “So what if instead of trying to guess what you can hear, I just call you on that when I’m about to come inside? That way even if you don’t hear it you’ll see the light.” 

“That…could work.” You hesitate. “So I’d just carry it everywhere with me so I see if it lights up?” 

Steve winces. “I guess it doesn’t sound as easy as I’d thought.” 

“No, let’s try it,” you say, encouragingly as you can and nodding for good measure. “It might help.” 

“Yeah?” he asks hopefully. 

“Mhm.” You nod again. “Thanks, Stevie. I know I…I know this is really inconvenient. Thanks for trying so hard.” 

“Hey, it’s not. It’s nothing.” His voice drops until you can barely make it out, and when you look up at him Steve’s expression is softly fond. He makes sure you can hear when he asks, “You want another hug, honey?”

There’s that intuition again. You nod, stepping into his arms where he waits by the counter and wrapping yours tightly around his waist. 

“Thank you,” you say again, the material of his sweatshirt heating with your breath. 

Steve presses his cheek to your head. “Don’t mention it.” 

[whowantslovergirl]

hey! can i req a spencer reid dating someone that’s like ,,, taylor swift level of famous? and like maybe the team teases him whenever a romantic song that’s clearly ab him plays?

An: YESYESYES ima use Taylor swift songs and I don’t really listen to her so bare with me guys 😍 all for you my lover 🤍 and please bare with me I’m going to write the teams dynamic as best as possible and I took notes on how to write Spencer the way matthew gray gubler is my husband he just doesn’t know it yet 💋

Style

Dr.Spencer Reid x famous af! reader ( reader is female with she/her pronouns)

warnings: some cursing, fluff af, and i think that’s it hope you enjoy my lovers 💖 criminal minds masterlist

Summary: The team finding out about Spencer’s kinda famous girlfriend

posted: April 6,2023

When Spencer woke up this morning he knew that he was going to have a great day. The team had no cases. He talked to you last night to compliment your new song. And he found out that you’re coming over later tonight.

The day couldn’t be better.

Until he actually went to work.

_____

You got that James Dean daydream look in your eyes

And I got that red lip classic thing that you like

And when we go crashing down, we come back every time

‘Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

He heard your song blasting through the BAU. He saw Penelope singing and dancing.

He never been more confused in his life.

“Hey pretty boy!” Derek yelled since he can’t hear himself think.

“Hey Morgan! What’s going on?!”

“Garcia and her fascination with Y/N L/N!” The music paused.

“I just want it to be known that Y/N L/N has blessed your ears with her angelic voice this morning.” She saw Spencer. “Hey Reid!”

“Hey Garcia.” She continued playing the song.

“What’s going on? It’s way to early for this.” Emily said walking in with her coffee.

“Babygirl’s favorite singer released her new single.”

Her eyes lit up.

“Oh! Replay it! I want to hear it!” And she did what she was told.

_____

Long story short everyone heard and loved his girlfriend’s new song.

“Hey guys, is it just me or the lyrics sound like Spencer?” JJ said out of nowhere.

Everyone looked at him and agreed.

“Yeah I can see that.”

“You make a good point JJ.”

“It does make sense.” Derek said while inspecting him.

“What! No it doesn’t!”

It does.

“Oh come on Spencer! You got that long hair slicked back white t shirt. That is so you!”

“Just because I have long hair does not mean she is talking about me Penelope.”

‘Besides half of the song isn’t even true.’ He mumbled hoping they didn’t hear them.

But they did.

“What did you just say pretty boy.”

“Shit. Did I say that out loud?”

Penelope gasped. “You never curse unless your hiding something or you’re frustrated! And I’m pretty sure you are not frustrated right now Spencer.”

He didn’t know what to say.

“How would you know half the song isn’t true? You don’t even listen to modern music.” Emily said with a questioning tone.

“Unless you know the song is about you!” Penelope exclaimed.

“Come on! I would not be able to get with Y/N L/N! We are in different calibers. I am a profiler and she is a pop-star with a huge- no, massive fan base. It just would never work.” Everyone looked at him surprised.

“Are you dating Y/N L/N?” Hotch walked in.

“No!”

“You ramble when you’re nervous a lot.” Emily said.

“And he’s getting sweaty.” Derek said with a questioning tone as well.

“Guys I am not dating N/N!”

Shit.

Penelope gasped once again. “You said her nickname!”

He once again was speechless.

He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

You were going to be so mad at him.

_____

“That’s hilarious!” You said laughing over the phone.

“What! No it’s not N/N.” You rolled your eyes. “So how did your team of profilers find out?”

He told her everything. And she laughed even more.

“Y/N stop laughing!” He said while his face was heating up.

_____

It was the next day and Spencer found out that you can’t come until next week. So of course his mood is a little down.

_____

“Why the long face pretty boy.” Derek continues. “Your N/N isn’t coming?” Spencer rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t know because I’m not dating her.”

“Keep telling yourself that Spence.” JJ said and Emily laughed.

“Eek! Y/N is coming out with a new album!” Penelope exclaimed while walking in. “My whole life is complete. I have no more reason of living after such extraordinary news.” Everyone just laughed at her.

“ We should go out together. I need to express my gratitude for this album.”

Everyone just agreed, even Spencer.

_____

He really missed you but at least he has his friends.

He wasn’t ready for tomorrow.

_____

Everyone came in work at the same time and saw someone at Spencer’s desk.

“Who is that?” Penelope asked.

The person in the chair turned around and Spencer’s face lit up.

“Hey guys.” You say waving not noticing Spencer yet.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s Y/N L/N! She’s here!” Penelope said hitting Morgan excitedly.

“Oh my god it is.” He said surprised.

“Have you guys seen Spencer?”

“Y/N” Spencer said surprised as well.

“Spencer!” You said running up to him and jumping into his arms.

The whole team just looked at you guys with shock in their faces.

You guys are totally oblivious at the looks that are being given.

“I thought you weren’t coming until next week.”

“It was obviously a surprise Spence now shut up and kiss me baby!” You say smiling.

You press his lips onto his and he melts in the kiss. Your hands went up to his hair and his hands rest on your hips. Hotch cleared his throat. You two broke apart.

You turn around and apologized and you saw Penelope shaking with excitement.

“You must be Penelope. I have some gifts for you.” You walked over to Spencer’s desk. “This is my new album on a disk and it even has some songs that didn’t make the cut.” You say winking. She was just staring in awe.

“And it’s also signed. I also have backstage passes to a tour that hasn’t been announced yet.” She squealed and you just laughed.

She looked at your boyfriend. “I’m never letting her go.”

Everyone laughed.

Spencer is not living this one down.

An: AHHHHH I just want to apologize for not giving exactly want the request said this just took a mind of its own fr but I hoped you enjoyed until I post again my lovers 🤍

[absgay]

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ “I still remember the moment we met, the touch that she planted, the garden she left. I guess the rain was just half that effect.” ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

words count: 1.7k

“No need to imagine, cause’ I know it’s true. They say all good girls go to heaven, but bad girls bring heaven to you.”

warnings: 18+ minors dni, angst, grammar, f*buddy!abby, college!abby, sexual tension, some jealousy, idk i’m not good at this, smut.

part one, part two, next part.

Fuck this, fuck them, fuck her. You didn’t want to see Abby Anderson ever again, you didn’t want to talk about her or think about her either. It started with a basic conversation between two young women in the bathroom, comments, intrusive questions, then came the facts and revelations, the ugly truth.

“Idiot— So stupid.” you murmured as you went down the stairs. You needed some time to digest it, some space. Unfortunately, the universe didn’t seem to be on your side today. “Shit.”

“Hey, sweetheart!” Abby shouted as she stood in the hallway. Great timing, great, great, great. The blond’s enthusiasm died as you headed to your room without a word.

You weren’t surprised but frustrated as she followed you. Leave me alone, go away, fuck off. You looked down and sighed, you didn’t feel tough enough to confront her. “I don’t wanna talk to you, Abby.”

“Okay…” She responded with an uncertain tone. You felt small, naive and weak as an intense sadness stabbed your heart. “At least, tell me why or what happened to—” Abby’s gorgeous blue eyes widened as you kicked the door. “Hey— Stop.”

She seemed genuinely worried as you unlocked it, after the second try. She spinned you around by the wrist, asking questions, trying to understand what was going on with you.

“Did something happen or—”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” you managed to say after a few seconds, even though you were overwhelmed by your own emotions as they all fought together. “I feel so dumb, Abby— I thought things were different between us, I thought I was different and—” Don’t cry, don’t cry, not now. “But it’s not, because you fucked Nancy at this stupid party and then came to the library, flirted with me and decided it’d be fun to fuck me as well. You know what— You’re no better than the others, you’re nothing more than an asshole who pretends to be nice and to have morals so she doesn’t have to face any consequences.” Outch.

Abby didn’t say anything at first, shocked and confused. It was a nightmare, it couldn’t be real, you weren’t actually mad at her, right? She swallowed hard, your words and tone held so much disappointment and hatred, it fuckin’ hurt.

“I— I’m gonna be late for practice.” She turned around, ready to leave but at the last minute, decided to take another look at you. “I don't know what she told you, what you heard or whatever but I pulled away as soon as Nancy kissed me.” Abby said. “You’re the reason I went there in the first place. I came and left with only one thing in mind, you.”

You almost called the blond’s name as she walked away, almost. You shouldn’t have said that, any of it. You stood in the hallway and listened as Abby slammed the door hard on her way out, heart heavy and thoughts racing.

“Do you remember how you two first met?” Your roommate asked. She was looking at you from across the room, seated at her desk. “God— You were so angry.” She laughed.

Yes, unfortunately. It started back in autumn. You were in bed, complaining, groaning and turning around endlessly as music blasted from someone else’s room, once again.

“Where are you going? Hey— Trust me, it’s not worth it.” Your roommate had said to you. “They’ll stop eventually.” You didn’t listen and headed to the stranger’s room with determination.

You knocked once, twice, thrice, the music stopped. You looked around the hallway as you waited, ready to argue with whoever lived here. But as the stranger opened the door, you stepped back, captivated by the attractive blond woman standing right in front of you.

“Oh— Hey.” she said. “Can I help you?”

She looked really, really, too good. “Yes.” But, you couldn’t let the woman’s appearance distract you though, attractive or not: she was still annoying. “Shut down the music and let us get some fuckin’ sleep.”

She smiled, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest. “I don’t think we’ve met before.” You sighed at the blond’s flirtatious tone. “I’m Abby.”

“And I’m exhausted.” She huffed, chuckled even as you stood there, frustrated by her reaction. “I’m serious, shut it down.”

Abby leaned towards you with a smirk. “Sure— Anything for you.” Then, she stepped back and shut the door in your face.

Your mouth dropped. “What the—” She had turned the music back on. “Fine.”

From then on, you annoyed each other on a daily basis. On some random monday night, she’d decide to play with your nerves by blasting music until one in the morning. On tuesday, you’d tell everyone she has chlamydia. An immature game you both secretly enjoyed at the time.

One evening, as you were coming back from a friend’s party, you saw a woman leaving Abby’s room, once again.

“Neighbour.” Abby nodded at you. “Nice dress.”

“Dickhead.” She chuckled softly as you stood in front of her, arms crossed and thighs pressed together, the blond’s eyes lingering over your bare legs. “Well— You must be exhausted after your fifth dick appointment of the day.” It sounded bitter, which made you regret it instantly, your stomach twisted in jealousy and embarrassment.

She hummed, amused. “Yeah...” Abby stretched exaggeratedly, then flexed her biceps as you rolled your eyes. “But don’t worry about it, I can ruin my sleep schedule and add a sixth one for you.”

“How thoughtful. I’m gonna have to decline the offer though. You see, I’d rather get some sleep than chlamydia.”

Abby frowned. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Why does everybody keep saying that? I don’t have chla—” You chuckled and looked away. “Oh, I see— You’re truly something else.” Abby said. “Now, there’s better ways to get my attention.”

“Right.” You snorted at the blond’s face. “My mission in life.”

Abby huffed and leaned towards you. “Okay— Listen to me, smart-ass. I’d fuck you so good, you’d see stars.” She hummed, looking down at your parted lips. “Yeah— I’m sure your pretty mouth would feel good on mine. You’d sound so sweet moaning and screaming my name, needy little brat.”

Your heart stopped, time stopped. You couldn’t think straight anymore. It was unexpected, bold and so hot. Flustered, you remained silent in shock as Abby looked at you attentively, trying to decode your features. The blond’s face was so close to yours, yet so far away.

“Admit it— You want me.”

“What, no— You want me.”

“I do.” Abby confessed. “And— I must be an actual masochist, because you’re a pain in the ass, sweetheart.”

You hummed, swallowed hard, your cheeks flushed, knees weak, panties soaked as she stared at you with such nasty, hungry eyes. Fuck, calm down.

To be honest, you didn’t want to deny the sexual tension between you two anymore. It was an unwanted attraction built on curiosity and frustration, heated conversations at midnight, arguments in class, flirty comments at lunch, short glanced at parties, unanswered questions as you both secretly wondered: What if? How would it feel? How would it be? Gentle, rough, passionate? So many possibilities, so many hidden feelings, so much desire.

Unfortunately, as much as you wanted to know, as much as your body ached for hers, you didn’t wanna be one of these women, the one who leaves the blond’s room in the early morning glow and hopes she’ll call them back soon, because she never does.

“I don’t wanna be your sixth dick appointment of the day.” You stepped back.

She sighed. “Well— Technically, it’s past midnight, which means you’d be the first one today.”

You chuckled and shook your head as she smiled. “Goodnight, Anderson.”

“Goodnight.”

You turned around to head back to your own room, emotionally wrecked by the blond’s last few words. Luckily, Abby didn’t want you to leave, wouldn’t let it happen, not so easily, not like that. You yelped as she grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you into a kiss, your eyes widening, your body collapsing against hers.

“Fuck— I’m sorry.” Abby breathed. “I should’ve asked you first. I didn’t mean to— I thought we were— I don’t know.” She sounded so nervous, it surprised you. “Say something.”

Shit. A one-night stand couldn’t hurt, right? You needed to feed your curiosity somehow. “This is a one time thing.” you murmured, the blond dragging you into the dark room instantly as you responded.

Abby moaned softly as you pushed her against the nearest wall, your body overwhelmed by lust, the heat rushing down to your stomach as you kissed the blond passionately for the first time. Abby’s hands moved down to your ass, rough palms and thick fingers disappearing underneath your dress with eagerness.

“Shit—” you breathed in shock, the blond’s hands ripping apart your panties as she groaned against your neck, like an animal. “No, no— These were brand new— I fuckin’ hate you.”

You moaned and pulled at Abby’s braid, eyes closed and head falling backwards as she kissed your shoulder, then bit it. “Oh, Yeah— Do you wanna fight about it?”

“I do.” you whispered back.

Abby sat against the headboard as you lay between her thighs, your back pressed against her bare chest. She moved one hand down to your stomach and smiled as you whined in anticipation, eyes glancing at the blond’s hand approaching your inner thigh. Abby’s fingers moved across your clit teasing it, her mouth dropping as she sensed how wet you were for her.

“Please.” you murmured, frustrated. “Please—”

Abby’s second hand covered your mouth as she touched you, fingering you hard and fast, your moans and whines muffled, your own hands gripping on the woman’s veiny arms.

“Look at me.” Abby murmured with a serious tone. “Oh, fuck— You’re so pretty, so good for me.” You whined at her words, looking up at Abby with bright eyes, your mascara ruined by the sweat and tears. “See— I knew you’d love it."

“Abby— Fuck.” you cried between short breathes as the blond’s hand went from your mouth to your throat. “I’m— I’m—” She added pressure, smirking.

“That’s it, that’s it— Fuck, sweetheart— Come for me.”

Yes. You remember the quiet hallway, the rain, the sunrise as you headed out quietly, the shy glances and smiles you both shared at the door. Abby’s hands catching your waist, the blond’s lips capturing yours as she held you tight one last time, before letting you go.

Yes, you remembered it all too well.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

next part.

[estrellami-1]

Steddie Week 2023

May 22nd Prompt: Hunger

Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7

@steddie-week

Steve wakes up slowly, rolls over to look at his alarm clock, then bursts out of bed in a rush of limbs and sheets and curses.

3:42 blinks back at him. Sometime during the night the power had gone out, and Steve knows it is well past 9, when he was supposed to be opening at Family Video. He pulls on his jeans and a clean shirt, stuffs his feet in his shoes, runs a brush through his hair, and grabs his vest on his way out the door, sparing half a glance at his kitchen, but not having time to eat.

If it comes down to it, he thinks, there’s always the candy.

He gets to Family Video in record time, breathing out a sigh of relief when he yanks on the door to find it still locked. That means he’s the first one there. Keith might notice when he goes back through times this week to figure out pay, but Steve’s hopeful he’s gotten away with it this time.

He clocks in, computer reading 10:01 (an entire hour late, whoops), and takes a breath as he looks around the store. Robin’s scheduled to come in at three, meaning he has five hours alone.

No one comes in for the first hour. Steve finishes logging returns and winding back the tapes.

Halfway through the second hour, the bell above the door jingles, and Steve raises his voice from where he’s putting away tapes. “Welcome to Family Video!”

“Either you’re hiding or you’ve officially started haunting this place,” a voice calls back, and Steve laughs as he walks out of the aisle.

“Hey, Eddie.”

“Hiya, Stevie.” He grins. “Tell me if this is too forward? But I noticed the power went out last night and figured if I know you as well as I do, you slept in and missed breakfast.” He hands Steve a brown paper bag, creased nicely at the top.

“Lifesaver,” Steve gasps, opening the bag. Three muffins. He sniffs them, then groans. “You’re perfect, holy shit, thank you.” Banana nut, his favorite. His heart skips an odd beat, then again when he realizes Eddie’s blushing, pulling a piece of hair across his face.

“You’re welcome,” Eddie says quietly, chuckling slightly. “I guess I was right?”

“Yeah, I woke up, like, half an hour after my shift had started, immediately panicked, and got here as fast as I could. I don’t need another write-up.”

Eddie nods, a smirk crawling onto his face. “How about waiving the fees for your favorite customer?”

Steve makes a show of looking around. “Dustin’s here?”

Eddie just laughs. “I can’t even be mad at that one.”

“Steve,” Eddie says, eyes wide, adorably serious. Steve tries to school his face accordingly, but he can’t really feel his face. “I’m hungry.”

Steve thinks about it. “I am too,” he decides, then thinks some more. “Is there pizza left over?”

Eddie shrugs, looks at the blunt in his hand, then shrugs again, taking another drag. “Chips?”

“I have chips,” Steve agrees, grabbing for the blunt. “C’mon, share.”

Eddie hands it over. “Steve,” he says again, “I’m a genius.”

“Yup,” Steve agrees.

“We should watch a movie.”

“Oh my god,” Steve breathes. “With snacks?”

“Yeah. Yeah, with snacks, c’mon, help me, help me!” He pulls Steve up, laughing when Steve does.

“Eddie,” Steve says. It’s his turn to be serious. “What if we call Argyle? And Jon?”

“And they can bring pizza,” Eddie breathes. “Stevie, I think you’re the genius.”

“Yup,” Steve agrees again. “I’ll call. You get snacks. And movie.”

“Fuck off,” Eddie laughs, resting his head against the wall. “There’s no way.”

“I swear! That’s exactly what she said! And then she tried to blame me, like it isn’t all automated.” Steve huffs a breath.

Eddie shakes his head. “You have way more patience than I do, man.”

“That’s not true. We have different types. I could never sit like you do, painting your figurines.”

Eddie snorts. “I zone out and wake up four hours later. I don’t think that counts as patience.” He sighs. “As fun as this has been, Steve, I’ve gotta go get ready for my shift. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah. Yeah, definitely. What time does your shift start?”

“Six.”

“That… Eds, that’s in twenty minutes.”

“No? I’m looking at a clock right here. It’s 4:40 right now. I’ve got an hour twenty.”

“Eds,” Steve says, sounding pained. “Daylight savings.”

“Oh, shit,” Eddie breathes. “Shit, shit, shit, you’re right, shit, fuck, okay, I’ve gotta go, love you, bye!”

He hangs up before Steve can say anything else, stuffing his feet in his shoes and grabbing his keys before racing out.

He’s halfway to work before he realizes he’s hungry. He lays his head on his steering wheel at a red light, breathes. “Just five hours,” he tells himself. “I can make it five hours.”

Half an hour in, he’s not so sure. His hands aren’t as steady as they should be, but he hides it from his coworkers, takes another few deep breaths, and tries to trick himself by drinking more water.

Ten minutes later, a familiar maroon Beemer pulls up. Eddie’s heart thuds in his chest as he goes out to meet Steve.

“Sorry I’m late,” Steve grins. “I think I got caught by all the lights possible.” He grabs something from the passenger seat. A brown paper bag.

“You didn’t,” Eddie breathes.

“I did,” Steve admits. “I hope turkey’s okay.”

“Turkey’s fantastic,” Eddie promises. “Freakin’ food for the gods, when I’m this hungry.” He opens the bag. A sandwich, a small bag of chips, an apple. He laughs. “Jesus wept, Steve, I brought you three little muffins!”

“Yeah, and I meant it when I called you a lifesaver.” He tilts his head. “I’m curious about something, though. If you meant it.”

Eddie pauses with the sandwich halfway to his mouth. “Meant what?”

“Gotta go, love you, bye.”

“Oh.” Nausea makes its presence known. He brings the sandwich down. “Steve, I-”

Steve’s fingers land on his forearm. “The truth, Eds. Please.” He’s whispering, eyes big and hopeful, and Eddie feels some of that same hope filling him.

“Yeah,” he whispers back.

Steve grins again, steps back. “I’m picking you up tomorrow. Seven o’clock.”

“Okay,” Eddie whispers, watches as Steve drives away.

“Hi,” Eddie says breathlessly, opening the door before Steve could knock.

“Hi.” Steve chuckles. “Ready?”

“Yeah. Where are you taking me?”

“Where do you wanna go?”

Eddie bites his lip, slides into the passenger seat. “Dinner? I’m starving.”

Steve grins at him as he puts the car in gear. “Me too.”

[saintsir4n]

CALM DOWN

in which brian gets mad!

___

“Hey! Hey! Back off — Vince outside, put down the vase, you’re not breakin’ shit in my house. Brian go upstairs, Summer you go with him, clean those bruised hands,” Dom’s voice carried through the living room that was practically turned on its head. One small conversation turned into a big argument and then it eventually got physical. “What did I say? No fighting on Sundays. It’s a day for family and you two do the exact opposite, so now everyone cool off until dinner's ready.”

Vince scoffed, his glare never left Brian’s retreating figure until Leon and Jesse pushed him outside. Letty followed Dom, deciding to help him with the rest of the food prep, whilst Mia and KeKe helped pick up anything broken to toss in the trash.

Carson rolled her eyes as she joined Brian in the upstairs bathroom. Her dress would’ve gotten ruined if she hadn’t moved away from her boyfriend who had tussled with Vince until Dom got involved and pulled them apart with Jesse and Leon’s help.

Brian was against the sink, watching as she pulled out the first aid kit in silence, brows pinching together when she didn’t say anything to him, and just sighed to herself.

“You’re gonna give me the silent treatment, really?” He exacerbated, as she pulled out bandaids, cotton pads and hydrogen peroxide.

“Just stop movin’,” she muttered when she got him to wash his hands.

“He insults us and I get the cold shoulder? I don’t believe this, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

She frowned, “There are no sides Brian, and drop that base from your voice, I’m not the problem here.”

He laughed in disbelief, “Oh, and I am?”

“I never said that," she sighed, trying to wipe the cuts as he winced at the pain.

“You’re not denying it," Brian stressed, annoyed that she didn't have a problem with it.

“You didn’t have to react," Carson hated violence and her boyfriend seemed to be constantly around it.

He scoffed, “So I’m just supposed to take his shit.”

“I never said that either," she retorted, "Hold still." Brian cursed when the hydrogen peroxide coursed over his open wounds, "Sorry."

“Then what are you sayin’? ‘Cause to me it just sounds like you think I’m in the wrong," he gritted out, body digging into the sink as he felt some pain. "That I’m the issue, and I should just sit back and let guys like Vince walk all over me.”

She rose a brow, “Guys like Vince?”

He rolled his eyes, “Here we go.”

“Here we go what?” She looked at him, seeing how heated he was getting about this.

“You’re focusin’ on that, really?”

“He’s my family so watch how you talk about him," she exclaimed.

“I’m your boyfriend and you’re actin’ like that don’t mean nothin’”

“You know that’s not true," her shoulders slumped. "You mean so much to me. Brian, you know that.”

“Do I?”

“You know you do.” She paused, pulling out a large bandage and cut it in half, “It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“You didn’t have to punch him," she stressed, applying some cream before wrapping his wounds.

“Yes, I did," he groaned, as she took a step back, “We hold hands and it’s a problem, we smile at each other it’s a problem, You sit on my lap and we kiss suddenly he can’t take it anymore and makes digs. If it’s at me I get it, he hates me, but the second he calls you naive, or an idiot, I'm not gonna sit back and do nothin'."

"Well I can see that," Carson gestured to his sore hands, "and I'm not some pushover, I can handle Vince, I'm just tired of the drama."

"He's the drama," he said, calmer.

"Says the guy with bloody fists," she teased, putting away the first aid kit and coming to stand between his legs.

"Well, they match his busted lip."

She couldn't help but laugh, "I appreciate you defending me, I do."

"I'll always defend you, you know that," Brian wouldn't let any harm come to her, even if it was just stupid words.

"But you need to keep that temper under control, you could've ripped my dress."

"Let me see," he cooed, trailing his hand down to the hem, "Sorry baby."

"Yeah I know, it's fine just calm down sometimes," she pleaded, with a pout.

"I'll calm down when he learns that I can kiss you whenever I want," Brian said, sternly, snaking his arms around her waist, "touch you, take you out and he can't do a damn thing because we're together alright? or I'll start thinkin' he's actin' more like a jealous ex and less like a brother."

"Alright, alright, you’re all cleaned up," she gently patted his chest, "lets go."

"Wait, wait, wait, let me kiss you, before we go down stairs, couldn't wanna get interrupted again would we?"

Carson laughed into the kiss.

—

[hairmetal666]

Steddie Notes Part 6

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

They’re stuck in the Upside Down. 

Nancy. Robin. Eddie. And Steve’s so fucked up from the bats, every breath, ever movement, has him in agony, and he just keeps seeing Eddie here, and it makes it all so much worse. This was never supposed to happen. And how was Steve supposed to keep him safe, keep them all safe, when he could barely stand upright from the pain?

Eddie walks a little way ahead with Nancy, fled after saying, “for your modesty, dude,” and throwing his battle vest at Steve’s face. It leaves Steve with Robin as they navigate the vines and random earthquakes to get to the Wheeler’s house. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Robin asks. 

Steve narrows his eyes. “You mean other than being dragged across a dry lakebed and eaten by fucked up bats?” 

“Is it. Eddie?” 

He bites his lips between his teeth. Of course Robin knows. She always does. “I hate that he’s part of this, Robs. He doesn’t deserve this.”

“You think it’s your fault.” It’s not a question.

“How can I not.” His voice catches and he has to clear his throat before he can continue. “You got dragged into this just by being friends with me. And now Eddie? If he wasn’t our friend—if he wasn’t my—he would be safe.”

“Steve. You know that’s not true. Chrissy was cursed already. She would have always died that night. Eddie was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s not your fault.”

He nods, tears pooling along his lash lines. “We kissed,” he croaks out.

“What?” Robin shrieks loud enough to echo across the desolate, cursed landscape. 

Eddie and Nancy glance back in time to see Steve knock his shoulder against her arm. “Quiet,” he hisses. 

“Sorry,” she frowns. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner! When? How? Are you together now?”

His mouth twists. “No. I think I fucked it up? It was—fuck—when he came over after Chrissy. He was so upset, and I was comforting him, and it just happened. I feel like I took advantage of him.”

“So, you haven’t talked about it?”

He gives her a look again. “When would we have had the time?” 

“Okay, okay. But he doesn’t seem mad. I mean, he still gazes at you all lovestruck and ridiculous.”

Heat bursts under the skin of Steve’s cheeks. “He does not,” he mumbles. 

“But you do need to talk about it. Obviously. You two have been pinning for years.” 

“It’s a year and a half. At most. Not even.”

“Feels like years to me.” 

Steve scoffs, falls silent. “I’m scared, Robs. What if he doesn’t like me back? He was too upset when I kissed him, and—I pushed it too far.”

“You did pick a truly terrible time to kiss him, and you two should probably talk about that, but Eddie isn’t going to be upset that you have feelings for him.”

“How do you know? There’s no way you can be sure. I don’t want to risk everything.” “Steve, I—” Robin’s mouth contorts into a complicated series of o’s as she fishes for words. “We’re already risking everything,” she says. “With the Upside Down. With Vecna. When we’re back topside, you should take the time you need to talk to him, okay? I promise that, even if he doesn’t like you like that, he’ll still love you as his closest friend.”

He can’t think of the words to argue with, so he nods, stuffs his hands into the pockets of Eddie’s battle vest. His finger catches on something deep in the right pocket, accompanied by a telltale burst of pain. Steve hisses, retracting his hand, a drop of scarlet beads from a small slash at the tip of his index finger. 

“Fuck,” he mutters. He wipes the blood on the vest—it’s already soaked with it, anyway. 

“You okay?” Robin asks, her blue eyes sharp at Steve losing more blood.

“Yeah. Munson’s keeping sharp shit in his pockets again, is all.”

He reaches back into the pocket to find the offending weapon and finds a crumpled sheet of paper. An amused breath bursts out of him as he realizes what it must be, and he fishes it out with hesitation. 

It’s crinkled and grimy with age, but Steve unfurls it anyway. It’s his own handwriting at the top: “You ever been in love?” 

He doesn’t remember writing it, not clearly. There’s a vague recollection of wobbling around, crossfaded in his bedroom, scrawling words on the first acceptable surface he finds. Doesn’t remember giving it to Eddie, but he’s responded; it’s scrawled right there beneath Steve’s question: “No, but I think I’m falling.” 

Steve stops in his tracks, staring at the note, eyes darting from the paper to Eddie. A bright pulse of hope sticks in his throat. They’re going to get out of the Upside Down, and when they do, Steve is telling Eddie everything.

✏️✏️✏️✏️

He doesn’t. 

Nancy is taken by Vecna and then they fall into planning mode, apparently RV theft mode too (“don’t cha, big boy” is never going to leave his head), and in the panic and fear, there isn’t time. 

There’s a little part of him, too, that doesn’t want to say, “I love you,” like it’s a good-bye. He meant it when he told Robin he still has hope, he does, refuses to accept any outcome that isn’t success, that leaves one of their rank dead. 

So, he doesn’t talk to Eddie, and they’re in the Upside Down for their last stand and all the words and emotions pile up on his tongue but can’t find flight. 

He, Robin, and Nancy turn to go, he’s already kicking himself for his silence, when Eddie’s voice rings out, “Hey, Steve?”

Steve turns fast, almost overbalances, but the meeting of their eyes steadies him. In the rich brown of Eddie’s, Steve thinks he sees all the things he wants to say echoed back. They gaze at each other in silence that thickens every millisecond until Eddie says, “make him pay,” and Steve lifts his chin in acknowledgement. He knows it’s not what Eddie means to say, thinks he understands why he can’t. 

There will be plenty of time for their confessions when they get out of this alive. And they will. Steve is sure of it. 

✏️✏️✏️✏️

It’s over.

It was hard. Bad. But it’s done. Vecna a smoldering ruin on the Upside Down version of the Creel House lawn. 

Steve doesn’t feel triumphant, exactly. They’d almost died, strangled by the vines, briefly outmatched by Vecna. He is relieved, though. Eager to get back to the trailer park, to Eddie and Dustin.

They traverse the Upside Down, silent now and free of earthquakes, closing in on the trailer park in record time. 

Up ahead, Steve makes out a hunched shape that must be Dustin in his ghillie suit. He wonders where Eddie is, but he’s not afraid. 

He picks up speed to close the distance faster. “Dustin!” he shouts. He means it to sound excited, triumphant, but it’s strangled. His heart’s beating too fast.

Steve is near enough, makes out the dark heap at Dustin’s feet. Someone is chanting a high-pitched, unbroken rhythm of “no, no, no, no, no, nononono,” and it takes him several long moments to realize the sound is coming from his own mouth. He can’t make himself stop.

“Steve,” Dustin sobs. He’s covered in red, leaned over Eddie’s prone form. 

There’s so much blood, congealing in dark pools on the grey earth.

“Eddie, Eddie, hey, hey,” Steve falls to his knees, fighting off the panicked keen building in his throat at Eddie’s mostly closed eyes. 

“Babylove, honey, sweetheart, please, please look at me, okay?” There are bites on his cheeks that Steve avoids, tapping at Eddie’s cheekbones with shaking fingers. 

Eddie’s eyes flutter, try to focus, but drift. “S’vie?” he rasps. 

“Hey, hey, It’s me. We’re gonna get you out of here, but you got to stay awake for me, okay?”

“N’ver thought I’d go to heaven,” Eddie mumbles, he fights his eyes from rolling back.

Steve forces a laugh. “What a line, man,” his focus shifts. “Robin, Nancy, we need to stop the bleeding.” 

They work in a flurry of motion, Steve talking to Eddie, struggling to keep him alert. 

“You gotta stay with me, Eds. Okay? I can’t be without you. You know that, right? You’re everything, Eddie. Everything.”

Eddie smiles with teeth full of blood. “Whatever you say, angel,” he whispers. His eyes slide shut.

Steve swallows his scream, hefts Eddie into his arms, and runs.

(Part 7)

This is a rough one, please feel free to shout at me about it. Thank you so much for reading! One more part to go; and don't worry, nobody dies and there's a happy ending.

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[morganski-19]

I Don’t Know Which Way’s Home

Chapter 1: The Reveal

ao3 link

September 1986

Julie slams the door shut when she comes home, she doesn’t mean to, most of the time. But today, she really does. And the hinge is already broken so what harm is it really going to do? So she ignores the comment her mom makes about it and does it again with her bedroom door, hearing the slam vibrate the walls of the trailer. 

She’s just so sick of it. It’s like every single class decides to do some stupid project that just makes her stand out from the beginning in front of kids who might not already know. Not like anyone does. Everyone knows everyone’s business in this town, and Julie’s family situation is no different. 

The problem today, was the beginning-year project her Spanish teacher assigned. A family tree, something simple to introduce yourself to the class and to see what you remembered from the last year. The only problem is, Julie is always missing half a tree. 

Her father has been a void in her life for its entirety. There’s no face to the name, and no name to even put a face to. Her mother won’t tell her anything, not even a peep. The most she knows is that he was a mistake her mom made for a few months that ended as soon as she became pregnant. Which translated into Julie’s mind that she was an accident. And with how their situation turned out, she couldn’t help but believe it was true. 

So when she’s reminded of the fact that her existence on this Earth is due to one of her mother’s flings that never lasts a year, she gets to slam a few doors. She gets to play the Iron Maiden tape she found on the ground one day at full volume without complaint. She doesn’t even like it that much, but it was free and loud enough to match the screaming that was going on inside her head. 

That’s the worst part, with how angry she can get about her family situation, she can never be mad at her mom for too long. Not after everything she’s done to make sure Julie had a good life. Not a perfect one, but one where they at least had a roof over their heads and weren’t living on the streets. 

It’s bad enough that her mom had to work two jobs just to get them by, she didn’t need to deal with all of Julie’s problems on top of that.

“Would you like to tell me why you’ve just permanently broken the front door, or am I supposed to guess?” Her mom says after coming into the room without knocking and turning the music down. 

Julie grunts from where her face is dug into the pillow. Hoping that it was enough to make her mom leave, but it never was. 

“Come on,” her mom gives her a soft shove. “You don’t get to barge into the house and break a door without explanation. What’s up?”

“What up is a stupid Spanish project,” Julie complains angrily as she rolls onto her back, glaring at the ceiling. “It’s a stupid family tree where I know I’ll be questioned on it in front of the whole class, again, on why I ‘failed to include my dad on the tree’. Like I would fucking leave him out on purpose.”

She feels the bed dip as her mom sits on the foot of it. “I’ll let that slide this time because you’re upset.”

“Yeah, I am. I just am so tired of explaining it in every single damn class I seem to have that he just left and I have no clue who he is. They don’t have a right to my life and I don’t need the pity looks they give me once they figure it out. And what’s worse is that everyone in the class already knows except for the teacher, so dumb Billy Johnson will start snickering or some shit, and then I’m the kid without a dad all over again.”

“Bullies really need to get some new material,” her mom jokes without hesitation.

Julie snorts. “Tell me about it. “ She gets softer, already feeling the anger start to dissipate. And when it does, all that is left is the gaping hole in her heart that she knows will never be filled. “I don’t even care that he’s not in my life anymore, I accepted that he wouldn’t be a long time ago. I just want to know who he is. Why I’m here. Why you won’t tell me anything about him.”

“I just don’t think-”

“Oh just save it mom, I’ve heard all the excuses. I’m not a little kid anymore who writes that her dad will want to know her in her Santa letters anymore. I know he doesn’t give a shit about me, I just want to know who. I deserve to have a name to not give a shit about either.”

Her bed rises again as her mom leaves, turning the music back to full volume and shutting the door softly behind her. Julie rolls back over, pulling her blankets over her head, and starts to feel like shit again. 

It’s not just the fact that she doesn’t have a present dad that bullies love to tease, there are more kids than you’d expect with only one parent. It’s that her mom wasn’t married when she had Julie that was the problem. Unwanted pregnancies are like drugs for small towns, they spread like wildfire. The second the neighbor saw that her mom had a significant bump, it was everywhere. And then the kids heard it from their parents at every school function. 

It’s all, “Oh poor Julie Lawson, her mother couldn’t keep a boyfriend long enough for her to have a real dad.” Like they have the right to comment on Julie’s family. Or her mom. No one does, not even her. 

. . . 

October 1986, Present Day

Steve walks in after his shift with two pizzas, a six-pack of beer, and Robin right behind him. It was Friday, which means that Robin, Eddie, and him shook off the kids for a night to watch a movie. Alone. They loved the kids but sometimes it was nice to have a night without chaos. Calming even. 

Eddie wasn’t coming over for a few more hours because of his band practice, so Steve stuck the pizzas in the oven so they stayed warm. Robin already makes herself at home, rummaging through the fridge to find something to drink and making a nest out of blankets in the living room when she does. Steve follows her, digging himself into the nest and putting something on the TV. 

An hour or so later, he hears a knock at the front door. Robin gives him a concerned look as he leaves the living room to open it. Eddie had a key so he just let himself in, and they weren’t expecting anyone else. And with their track record, it could go from random salesperson to world apocalypse pretty fast. 

When he opens the door, a girl he guesses is around Dustin’s age is there, nervously playing with her hands, a backpack loosely thrown over her shoulder. “Hi, sorry to bother you but, do the Harrington’s live here?” she asks shyly.

“Yes, I’m Steve. Who are you?” There is a familiarity to her face that he can’t quite place.  

“Steve, right, he had a son. Sorry, this week’s been weird. I’m uh, my name is Julie. Your dad kinda knew my mom.”

He must have met her at one of his dad’s work events, that has to be why she looks familiar. “Oh ok, did she have to drop something off here or something?”

“Well, kinda. But it’s not what you’re probably expecting.” She pauses looking unsure of what she is going to say next. “Can I- can I come it, you might want to sit down for what I have to say. It’s kind of shocking.”

“I’m not sure, I don’t really know you. Could you tell me who your mom is, maybe I can remember you then.”

She takes a deep breath. “When I said that my mom knew your dad, I didn’t mean from work. Well, I did mean from work but she hasn’t worked for him in over fifteen years, so I doubt you’d remember her. She was his secretary for a while, and they had a very,” she pauses again, looking around to see if anyone is there. “Intimate, relationship.”

The dots clicked immediately in his head, thoughts immediately started to run around about who this girl could really be. He thinks that her offer to sit down was probably necessary. “Yeah, why don’t you come in.”

“Ok.” She steps through the doorway, waiting for him to lead her through the house. 

He brings her to the kitchen, motioning for her to sit at the small table. Grabbing a few glasses, he fills them with water and brings them over, placing one in front of her. She thanks him, taking it and gulping it down with shaky hands. The more he looks at her, the more he can’t help but see more and more similarities, just ones that remind him of himself. 

“Who was it, Steve,” Robin asks, wandering into the kitchen. “Oh shit, hi.”

“Rob, this is Julie, her mom apparently knew my dad.” Steve makes a motion with his head to indicate how, hoping that she can read it right. 

Her eyes widen in shock. “Oh like, special knew. Like knew knew.”

“Yes,” Julie says weakly. “Yeah, they did.”

“Oh shit,” Robin takes a seat next to Steve, her hand immediately finding his. It brings comfort, reassurance that she’s there. He knew his dad was a piece of crap cheater, his mom certainly made it known during many of their screaming matches. But with the girl staring at him with the same eyes he sees every morning in the mirror, his brain can’t help but jump to the conclusion that she’s, something. And that just makes his chest tighten in anxiety.

“I, uh.” Julie starts, wringing her hand nervously again. “I don’t really know how to say this gently. But, when my mom worked for your dad, they had an affair. It didn’t last that long, but remember when I said my mom stopped working for him like fifteen years ago? It was actually seventeen because that’s when she figured out she was pregnant.”

Steve feels a lump forming in his throat as she nods, trying to take it all in. “With you?” he asks, not knowing how he is even speaking at all right now. Robin squeezes his hand.

Julie gives a small nod, looking down at the table. “Yeah.”

“And my dad is-” he can’t finish the sentence, but it’s answered by her sorry nod. “Holy shit.” 

He runs a hand through his hair, trying to wrap his head around everything. This girl, Julie, is his sister. Half-sister, whatever, it doesn’t matter. Robin breaks her contact with him and goes to rub his back instead. His head falls into his hands propped up on the table and he just focuses on breathing. 

“Steve, you ok?” Robin’s voice soothes him a little bit, but when your world just gets shattered, there’s not much that can be done to help completely. 

“I knew he cheated. I knew that. It’s why my mom followed him around on all his trips. But he- he had a kid, and just hid it.”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s a lot, I have proof if you want to see it.”

Steve looks at Robin, asking her what to do with his eyes. She shrugs, her way of saying that it couldn’t hurt. Probably is better that they have proof anyway, make sure this is legit. He nods, unable to say anything. 

“Could we see it? Just to double-check everything,” Robin asks for him. God, he’s so happy that she’s here. He can’t imagine doing this by himself

Julie ruffles around in her backpack, random clothes peeping out as she pulls out a file. She opens it, pulling out two pieces of paper before going in again and pulling out what looks like a school ID. “Here’s my birth certificate and the paternity test. And my ID with my picture on it, so you know it’s me.”

The first thing he sees is his father’s name on the test results, followed by the line saying his relation to Julie is undeniable. That he was undeniably the father. The birth certificate only has the signature of her mother and the doctor, but the father’s name is absent. He ditched them, probably made her mom prove that this kid was his, and then just paid them to shut them up. His mom would never know, he would never know, and they never had access to any of his records. 

Julie Rebecca Lawson, born January 28, 1970. He was three when she was born. He’s had a sibling this whole time, and he didn’t even know it. 

“Does your mom know you’re here?” Robin asks, softly. 

Julie’s face visibly falls as she rapidly blinks away some tears. “She- she died two weeks ago. Car accident.”

“I’m so sorry, Julie,” Robin reaches across to comfort her, but the hand she was going to grab gets pulled away. “Whoever is watching you then, do they know where you are?”

She sniffles. “I’ve been staying with a foster family while they find a permanent placement. They don’t really care where I am. My caseworkers were trying to find some family, but my grandparents are long gone and my mom’s sister is in no place to take in a kid. So they were looking on my dad’s side.” She says the word dad as if they don’t fit right in her mouth. 

“I didn’t come here looking for a place to say,” she continues. “Right before my mom passed, she finally told me about my dad. How he never wanted anything to do with me because he had a big reputation and another family. It was supposed to be a secret, but the more I thought about it, I couldn’t help but think that you had a right to know. And then since she-, since I needed a place to stay, it was only a matter of time before you found out. I knew he was out of town so I thought it might be better to say it myself. Now I’m not so sure that was such a great idea.”

“No,” Steve finally says. “I’m, I’m glad you told me. You’re right, we, me and my mom, had a right to know. So, thank you.” He turns to look at Robin, her face shifting when she sees the panic in his. “Rob, could I talk to you for a minute?”

She stands. “Yeah. We’ll be right back, ok Julie.” 

Julie says a soft reply as Robin leads Steve to the living room. “I don’t know what to do, Rob.”

“How could you? You just found out that your dad had another kid. With another woman. And then hid it from you. How are you supposed to cope with that information?”

“I don’t know. I have no clue what to do. But I can’t-. Shit Rob, I want to help her.”

“Steve, you don’t know her, at all. She just spawned on your doorstep not even an hour ago and just dropped the biggest bombshell on you since the, you know what. I get that you want to help her, I do. Shit, I do too. But I’m just asking that you take a step back and think about this.”

Steve crosses his arms, pulling his eyebrows together. The decision was pretty much made in his mind, but she was right. “What if she stays the night, we sleep on this and get to know her more tomorrow. Then we can go from there.”

“Ok,” she puts a hand on Steve’s arm. “That’s a good plan.” 

Robin steps forward, pulling him into a hug before they walk back into the kitchen. Julie looks back up at them, uncertainty filling her face. It reminds him so much of himself it sort of hurts. “Julie, you can stay the night, if you want to. That way tomorrow we can talk some more, and get to know each other, figure out what to do about this. But I can drive you back to the house you’re staying at if you’d like.”

“Could I stay here, I really don’t like it there.” The fear that coats her eyes with the mention only makes it worse. 

“Come on, I’ll show you the guest room.”

Julie stands, grabs her bag and follows after Steve. When he shows her to the room, she stands in it like like she knows she doesn’t belong. He can’t help but think it’s not the first time she’s felt like this, especially since he’s pretty sure she brought enough clothes for a few days in her bag. 

He tells her where the bathroom is, where his bedroom is if she needs anything. She nods silently. The similarities between them keep coming in waves. Sure they’re not like an exact match. But her eyes, her jawline, her hair, it’s ever so similar to his. If they were to walk down the street together, it would be clear that they were siblings. 

The fact that it’s true just keeps shocking him all over again. 

“You’re welcome to anything in the kitchen, and there’s plenty of supplies in the bathroom if you need any. I keep it all under the sink. And, don’t be afraid to ask for anything, ok?” He stands there awkwardly, not quite knowing what else to do. 

“Ok,” she replies softly, placing her bag on the bed and pulling out some things. 

When he shuts the door behind him, it finally hits. He practically runs back down the stairs to find Robin waiting in the living room, on the phone with someone. 

“Yeah, something came up and we can’t do movie night anymore. No nothing bad, yeah no he’s fine. I’m fine. We’re all good, just a migraine. Yep. I’ll have him call you tomorrow. No, you don’t need to do that. Ok, bye.” Robin turns to him when she hangs up the phone. “Eddie, thought it was pretty clear that movie night was canceled.”

“Yeah, no, it was. I-” the words get stuck in his throat. “I have a sister, Rob.”

Robin crosses over to him, pulling his fingers away from where they held his arms in a death grip. “I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now.”

“Angry mostly. How could he keep this from us, from my mom? From me? Do you know how many times I wished for a sibling, only for me to have one all along and just not know about it? And then she goes through life knowing her dad didn’t want her. I can’t begin to imagine what that is like.”

“Pretty shitty probably. What do you really want to do about all of this Steve?”

He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know. I want to help her, get to know her. But I-I don’t know if I can do this.”

“She wasn’t asking you to fix everything. She just lost her mom, I think she just wants someone to lean on like that again.”

“But what if I can’t even do that?”

Robin gives him a soft look that he knows means he’s overthinking it all again. “Let’s go get some sleep ok. We’ll figure this out in the morning.”

They walk upstairs, passing the room that Julie is staying in on the way to his. He remembers being little and looking at the empty guest rooms in his house, wondering when people would come to fill them. Wishing that when they did, they’d stay for longer than a week. Maybe then he wouldn’t be alone anymore. 

When he was really young, he would sit in the rooms and pretend that it was other kids that filled them. Brothers and sisters that he got to play with for however long he wanted to. His nights would feel less empty and during the day he’d be less lonely. He’d be like every other kid on the playground with their siblings, pushing them on the swings and chasing them around the park. The house would be full of noise instead of deafening silence. 

But that day never came. The years went on and he kept getting older. His mom went on more and more trips and then just stopped calling. The only time his dad ever called was after the police told him that he’d thrown a party. He used to just mess up just to hear his dad’s voice. Because then maybe he could convince himself that his dad cared for him. If you're disappointed enough to yell, that has to mean you care about something. 

Most people say wait until you’re older and then you’ll understand like it’s some kind of mystery that everyone cheers when you solve it. Not knowing that some mysteries only crush the people around them. Steve Harrington spent most of his life alone and it wasn’t until he graduated and no one from his family showed up that he finally accepted why. 

As he looks back at the guest room, he can’t help but feel that part of himself get unearthed again. That sad little kid that begged for someone who he could grow up with. Knowing that was there across town all his life only makes him hurt all over again. 

The urge to call his dad right then and there is strong. To scream at him for hiding something that he wanted for so long. Yell at him for being a piece of shit to not just him, but to his mom, and to Julie. He was used to his dad, no one else deserved to be hurt like he was. 

. . . 

Julie lays in a bed that is bigger than one she’s owned in her entire life. Having one of this size would make it easier when she and her mom would share when her back was too sore after her double shifts to take the cot. The sheets are softer and clearly barely used, the fabric smells of fresh flowers. 

She’s almost angry at all of this. That one person could have so much and be so cruel. That Steve got more out of their dad than she ever did. But one of them was wanted, the other clearly wasn’t. 

The word still feels weird in her mind. Their dad. She didn’t even know the guy but she spent so long hating someone who was a dad to someone else. But by the lack of family pictures on the wall and the way Steve talked about him just briefly, it doesn’t look like he was much of a dad to Steve either. 

She wonders what it’s like to live in this giant house alone. The empty walls and rooms prepared for people but never filled. There were at least two living rooms in this house and a kitchen just made for a party. A house so perfect from the outside but so broken from within. 

Steve at least seemed nice, even after she broke the news. Hell, she’s still here, isn’t she? In her mind, she was preparing for the worst. To be kicked out on the curb right after even implying that her father was just that, her father. Because a businessman with a poster family could never do anything wrong, could never be a terrible person who would have a kid and just abandon it. 

But she was believed, and accepted. Allowed to stay the night in a house she always dreamed of living in with a family she didn’t even know existed. She just hopes that in the morning it all won’t go to shit like everything else in her life seems to. 

. . . 

September 1986

Julie hears her mom call out for dinner from the kitchen. As much as she’d like to still be angry, she can’t force herself to avoid her mom forever. For what it’s worth, her mom is all she has in the realm of family and a friend. There’s no one who knows her like she does, and it’d just be cruel to let the pain of the past dwell any longer. 

Except this isn’t a pain of the past, not for Julie. Almost daily she’s reminded that there’s someone out there who doesn’t care enough to know her, and that person is half the reason she exists. It seemed like everyone else in this town knew who their father was, even if they weren’t around, except for her. 

But she can’t help but think about what her mom went through. How raising a kid on her own had to be, especially in a town like this. Someone she obviously cared about just dropping her after a positive test and leaving her high and dry. Life was hard, but she managed, somehow. Julie’s not so sure she would have in her position. 

“I want to talk to you about something,” her mother starts once the table is cleared. She goes to sit back at the table, placing a folder on top of it. “What you said earlier, you’re right. You have a right to know who your father is, whether he’s in your life or not.”

Julie sits across from her mom. “I was just angry before, you really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” 

It’s a lie and they both know it. 

“No, you need to know. There’s going to be a point in the future where you’ll need to know certain things, medical history and such. And there might be a day when his family finds out about you and comes asking for questions.”

“His family,” she says shocked. 

Her mom nods. “A wife and a son. He had both of them already when we were together.”

Julie’s entire world shifts. “What?”

“A year before you were born, I worked as a secretary for Richard Harrington in his business, well his dad’s business at the time. We entered an, inappropriate relationship, which ended up in you.”

“Inappropriate’s one way to say it,” she jokes under her breath. “He’s a big deal in town, Mom, his whole family is.”

Her mom nods. “It was risky and stupid and I never should have done it. But back then, he was good at hiding what a terrible person he was behind his looks and his charm. It wasn’t until you got to know him and got on his bad side that things went south.”

“So, when you got pregnant with me?”

“It went south, fast. I told him, he wanted you gone but I couldn’t go through with it. So instead we came up with a deal. I prove you were his with a paternity test, and he gives me a monthly payment to shut me up. It wasn’t a lot, clearly, but it would be enough to pay off the trailer in a few years and make sure we had money for bills.”

“I’m surprised that he gave you anything at all.” It really couldn’t have been that much if her mom had to work two jobs just in order to scrape by. 

“The rich will do anything to keep a secret, including bribery. Everything you could ever need to know about him is in this file. With a copy of your birth certificate and the paternity test. Just so you have it. I’m sorry I kept it from you for so long.”

She looks at the file in her hand. It’s still pretty empty, but it has just enough. “I can see why you did. It’d be worse for you for a kid to accidentally tell everyone their dad is a Harrington.”

“It’d be bad.” Her mom clears her throat, looking down at her hands. “I also didn’t want you to think differently of me. I slept with a married man after all, for a year. That’s a pretty shitty thing to do to someone, even if you don’t know them.”

“Yeah, it is.” Julie would be lying if she said it didn’t come as a shock, that her mom would do that. All this time she thought that her dad was some drugged-up guy that she hooked up with for a month or two before they stole all her cash and ran off. That’s who her boyfriends were in the past few years, so it wouldn’t have been a surprise. But a married man, one with a kid, that’s a new one.  “Do you regret it? Sleeping with him.”

“All the time, but then I’d never have you.” She reaches her hands across the table and cups them around Julie’s. “You’re my life, Jules. I love you more than anything, and I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant never having you.” 

Julie puts a smile on her face. “Love you too, Mom. And thank you for telling me about this. Now I have a name to not give a shit about.”

“Yeah, now you do.”

Her mom gives her one last smile before going to the living room and setting up her cot. Julie takes the file and heads to her room, shutting the door softly behind her. 

She doesn’t know how to describe what she’s feeling. Like a weight has been lifted off of her but a new feeling of dread came to replace it. The name of the person who she’s hated for so long is in her hands, and she doesn’t know what to do with it other than hate him more. He had a wife, and a kid, a young kid, and he still went and had an affair. 

When she lies in her bed, waiting for sleep to come, all she can picture is the face of the man who ruined not only one life but three. And while her mom isn’t blameless, she can’t help but think that there is more to the story than her just willingly sleeping with him. She imagines taking her fist and hitting him straight in his smug face. Once for her mom, and once for her. 

Chapter 2

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[pilot-boi]

“Hey, uh, Jaune? I, um. This is, uh… I’m sorry for yelling at you back in the Ever After, and I—…I get it if, um. If you don’t think I should know. Is… Penny… is she mad at me, for, um… for not being good enough?”

They’re in Vacuo, it doesn’t feel real. Jaune is setting on an honest to gods mattress for the first time in decades, and it doesn’t feel real. Pyrrha keeps chuckling at his amazed expression, he can feel her over his shoulder.

There’s a knock on the door and Jaune jumps. His hand is on his sword and he’s halfway across the room before Penny floats through the wall beside the door, looking troubled. And Jaune’s heart sinks. He knows who’s going to be on the other side

Ever since Ruby landed in the Ever After, Penny has only briefly left her side, and only to visit her father.

“Jaune? Can…” Ruby’s voice, muffled, trails off. “Can I come in?” He glances at Penny, who nods reassuringly, and opens the door

Gods has Ruby always looked so small?

“Hey Ruby,” he says, sheathing his sword. They stare at each other for a moment before Jaune steps aside and Ruby sidles past him. She’s quiet in a way that reminds him of tea cups and shattered silver eyes, and it scares him.

He sits on the bed and she sits next to him, a careful distance away. “You doing okay?” he asks.

She shrugs. “Are you?” she asks.

He shrugs.

The silence drags on, awkward and stifling, broken only by Penny humming quietly. She didn’t flinch when he drew his weapon, but HE did. Gods, half of it is still sticking out of her chest and she didn’t even flinch.

“Hey, uh, Jaune? I, um. This is, uh…” Ruby’s voice gets more quiet by the word, and she won’t meet his eyes. “I’m sorry for yelling at you back in the Ever After, and I-”

Jaune is spouting apologies of his own before she’s even done talking. Pyrrha has to shush him multiple times before he realizes that he cut Ruby off.

“It’s okay but …I get it if, um. If you don’t think I should know.” Ruby shrinks in on herself. Her hands are tangled in her cape “Is… Penny… is she mad at me, for, um… for not being good enough?”

Penny, of course, immediately starts yelling reassurances, and Jaune winces at the volume of the echoey words. Ruby must take his reaction as confirmation though, because she sniffles and stands. “Right. Right I’m- im sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I’ll just…”

“Wait! Wait no, Ruby, no she doesn’t!” Jaune says frantically, waving his hands. “Or she’s not! She’s not mad at you. She could never be mad at you.” He’s just passing on Penny’s words, but even if he wasn’t he’d know that they’re true. Even he isn’t stupid enough not to see how much the former-android cares about Ruby

“Ruby, it wasn’t your fault, you did everything you could. You are the most…” Jaune can’t find the words. “You are the most enough anyone could be. Penny isn’t mad at you, because come on, she’s Penny.” Ruby chuckles weakly, and he takes it as a win.

“But mostly she’s not mad because you were MORE than good enough. You got us all to Vacuo, you got EVERYONE to Vacuo. You gave all of us the strength to follow you. She…” Jaune glances up at Penny. “She wants you to know that not only is she not mad, but that she’s so SO proud. Being just you has always been more than enough.”

At this Ruby does actually start crying, and he panics for a second because shit he messed everything up again. Next he’s gonna get slammed into a wall and left to pick up the pieces, he just knows it.

Over her shoulder Penny is trying to hold Ruby’s shaking form, but she can’t make contact, and Jaune has to look away. That’s his fault, he did that. He’s the reason Penny will never be able to hug her friend again, why Ruby will never be able to be comforted by her friend again.

“Stop that…” Pyrrha’s staticky reprimand whispers. “It’s not your fault.”

It is, it is. But since it’s his fault, it’s also his responsibility to make up for it.

“Ruby can I… Can I hug you?” Jaune asks, his arms held out tentatively. It’s all the invitation his best friend needs, choking out a sob and diving at him with enough force to send them both to the ground.

And that’s what breaks Jaune, and soon enough he’s crying and sobbing into her hair while her cries are muffled against his chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to, I didn’t mean it, I’m so sorry.” Their apologies melt together, meaningless and meaningful in equal measure.

“It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t mean to, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.” Reassurances from both of them, each the only one who can truly understand what the other is going through

He feels like some kind of poison is being drawn from a wound decades left unattended.

He’s not sure how long they sit there, the literal ghosts of their past whispering and cooing calming words to the broken leaders.

“You are more than enough, Ruby. You’re my best freaking friend, I don’t know what I’d do without you. You are SO much more than enough.” Jaune’s voice is broken, croaky with tears and emotion. He doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince, her or himself. “I can’t lose you again.”

He feels Ruby nod against his chest. “It wasn’t your fault. You’re my best friend, I could never be mad at you. It wasn’t your fault.” Her words are fierce, exhausted, insistent, and he chokes out a sob. Ruby is trying to convince herself as much as him. Gods they really are the same, aren’t they?

“We really are messed up, aren’t we?”

Ruby chuckles, and nods against his chest. “Yeah. Proper Hunters and everything, now.” She sounds bitter, and Jaune’s arms tighten around her.

“Yeah. Yeah I guess we are.”

“Does this… does this get better?”

Decades alone being burned alive by his own guilt, going half-mad with fear. “I’ll let you know when I find out.”

Ruby laughs again, and wipes at her eyes. “I’ll do the same.”

And on the floor of a Vacuo dorm room, two broken leaders begin to heal.

[turtle-bun]

“This iteration of the Turtles and this iteration of the Turtles wouldn’t get along cuz of this!” “These two iterations wouldn’t get along because of that!”

FUCK YOU THEY ARE ALL BEST FRIENDS THAT SUPPORT EACH OTHER CUZ I SAY SO!!

(Please note I wrote this BEFORE watching Mutant Mayhem which is why they aren’t in it. I just forgot to post it lol 😅)

Rise!Leo: You all are so stern and serious. I feel like I should start being more stern and serious. Should I?

BatmanVs!Leo: Please don’t, it’ll be hell on your already waning mental health. /hj

Bayverse!Leo: I feel we need at least one funny Leo to break up the collective seriousness of the rest of us.

87 Leo: I thought me and my brothers counted as the “funny” version of all of us?

12 Leo: You guys are more of a “silly” version of us…sillier? Like the concept of turtles being ninjas is already silly as it is. Which there is nothing wrong with that, just that your cartoon logic is just very hard to keep up with sometimes.

87 Leo: That’s understandable.

Mirage Leo: I’m just jealous that you all get to be in color. Black and white gets so boring once you learn there’s color!

07 Leo: But your universe does have this cool graphic design to it that I’M very jealous of.

03 Leo: Of course, you fucking would be you dramatic edgelord. /j

07 Leo: I know the fucking EMO of the group did not just call me an edgelord! /j

Rise!Leo: Omg we love an E-girl!

12 Leo: *wheeze of laughter*

---

87 Raph: I just don’t think it’s fair that you guys get to be tall, is all! It’s discrimination! /hj

12 Raph: Practically working against your own kind! /j

Rise!Raph: *snorts* I don’t think that’s a bodily function we can control you guys!

Bayverse!Raph: It was a conscious decision on my end.

Rise!Raph: *chokes with laughter*

87 Raph: You goddamn bastard! /j

Bayverse!Raph: Cope and seeth my dude.

07 Raph: Now look, 87 I know it’s very difficult, especially for you, but we gotta be the bigger person here.

87 Raph: I will kick your goddamn ass, kid!

03 Raph: Well, good for you in being the bigger person. I will continue to be small and petty my entire life!

*Collective snorting laughter from all Raphs*

87 Raph: No, no, wait! You are not allowed to be funnier than me!

03 Raph: Tough break, shorty, I have to have SOMETHING other than punching shit.

87 Raph: Take up knitting! I don’t care! Just keep away from my bit! That’s like my entire personality! /hj

03 Raph: See you joke about that but I am fucking GREAT at knitting!

Bayverse!Raph: Amen to that! I ain’t spend half my damn life in the Hashi and NOT be able to knit a fucking epic scarf!

---

07 Donnie: Are you saying I worked a 9 to 5 job FOR NOTHING!

BatmanVs!Donnie: I honestly did not think that embezzling funds from rich corporate assholes plus the Shredder and his Foot Clan was an actual option we had!

12 Donnie: I am actually so mad that I did not think of that!

Rise!Donnie: Honestly, I didn’t think of it until like a few years back because our dad is still, somehow, getting royalties from his Lou Jitsu movie days. But I also have expensive taste in equipment and needed a little pocket change.

03 Donnie: I could have actually bought a Play Station when it came out instead of having to fix up the broken one Mikey found in the dump!

87 Donnie: I’m just now realizing how much stuff we had to make from scratch just because we couldn’t afford it.

Rise!Donnie: That’s true. But like also you guys still made a bunch of cool stuff with JUST junk you found! That’s amazing!

Bayverse!Donnie: Thanks but we could have made even cooler stuff if we had your type of funding. I mean, look at this shit! *excitingly pointing at Rise!Donnie’s battle shell*

Rise!Donnie: Please understand that YOU have made holo-screen, intercom, wrist watches, that connect to your motherboard home computer. All of which you MADE WITH JUNK! How is that not amazing?!

07 Donnie: Amazing for you probably. But if I were to do that shit myself I wouldn’t sleep for a week!

BatmanVs!Donnie: I second that! One sugar daddy please!

Rise!Donnie: *wheeze of laughter*

---

03 Mikey: I still can't believe you met freaking BATMAN! Like holy shit dude!

12 Mikey: *sobbing* I’m so jealous! I’m forever jealous!

BatmanVs!Mikey: Yeah, it was pretty cool. But YOU (03 Mikey) met the entire Justice Force! And became a member! Your legacy was so awesome Silver Sentry’s grandson took up your name!

03 Mikey: Yeah but you road in the BATMOBILE and got to press all the buttons!

Bayverse!Mikey: *sulking on the floor* LIFE ISN’T FAIR AND I HATE IT HERE!

Rise!Mikey: *pouting* I never get to meet my heroes! And when I do they turn out to be insane!

12 Mikey: Bro same! Chris Brandford was just a giant jerk!

87 Mikey: Bugman was pretty cool, though maybe a little weird. Still, he was no Justice Force or Batman!

07 Mikey: *whining* I just want the life you have! Why does god ALWAYS have favorites?!

Ronin!Mikey: *dramatic sigh of jealousy* He truly does.

[heraldofcrow]

Writing a little rant to my friends helped me realize what types of villains really speak to me, and I guess it’s the type I have jokingly called the “INFP” villain.

Basically this meme:

Lmao, basically the character will be SO mentally ill and fucked up because of things they’ve endured + a very specific collapse of identity, but they refuse to even see it. They think they’re cured and on the right path, they have a brilliant purpose, a well-thought out philosophy behind their motives, but their evil actions are obviously just their overblown reaction to what preceded their mental break. EVERYTHING IS FINE AND I AM DOING THIS FOR A GOOD REASON, TRUST!

*is murdering people* I think I first started to like it when I watched this Azula scene as a kid. It was too perfect jddhdh. She was my fav for a reason.

Even when I was small, I heard this and thought, “Girl shut the hell up, your entire life is a sob story 💀” but it’s obvious she is so blind that this doesn’t even register in her mind. It’s very human and real.

It’s not even one of those multi-layered complexes you observe in that type of toxic person with a very comfortable and positive life who will say, “I’m one of those people that smiles through the pain” but they say it so much that you start to realize they are pulling some manipulative strings with their audience.

Half the time, the characters like Azula actually believe their own lies about them not being upset about shit and preach these lies so well that other people believe them. People still think Azula was this child who was born evil and sadistic, that she doesn’t give a shit about her family issues, and that she was not shaped into a monstrous fighter that she felt she had to embrace as her image. They forget that she lies constantly, even to herself, and her saying “I really don’t care about my background” is just another falsehood she crafted in her head.

It’s this type of villain that is so high off of their own copium to the point where they can’t see how badly they need help that is most intriguing to me. They commit war crimes out of obvious rage, but noooo, there is a good reason! Look they’re even having fun and laughing about it! They’re having the time of their life!

Them: I’m not wrong! This isn’t personal! It’s for the greater good!

Narrator: It was, in fact, very personal.

That’s also why the traumatic events that shape them are important, but not key! Because in the end, it needs to be clear that this character is capable of choosing the right thing despite their background, but they are so emotionally disturbed that they end up choosing evil with a “moral justification” so that they have an excuse to lash out. They know they shouldn’t lash out, but a mix of lies, manipulation, and ultimately conscious choice lead them to feel comfortable doing it. They WANT to take out their anger on the world, but they can never admit to the obvious reason why.

This is also where the madness comes in, because crafting a new identity or purpose that allows you to feel okay to lash out practically requires a certain level of madness, instability, and delusion. If the character was ever a morally conscious person, they have to completely break off from that rationality to allow themselves to fully embrace cruelty and evil. They have to lose their minds.

This is, to me, also what Jinx does in Arcane when she accepts her “cursed name” as her new identity. She embraces the monster as a shield, which is acknowledged to be a “reborn” version of herself that is stronger than her true self….the broken inner child. She is perhaps the most honest about this choice, but she still fully believes the lie that it’s the right choice, or the superior choice. It also seems to mark the turning point for her madness. You can’t embrace a monstrous persona and not break your mind doing it. Circumstances may help, but overall it’s still something you choose.

In short, a character standing in front of their intentional arson like, “I am no longer mentally ill” is my favorite type of fucked up character lol. Ever. That will win me over every time because it’s too believable and horrible and sad and funny and entertaining all at once.

[ladiablesse]

and i don’t put it past any of these rap niggas to be abusive but there is not a single lick of evidence to support the idea that kendrick abused his wife, especially in comparison to the mountain of evidence presented pre kendrick diss that has elicited concern over drake being a predator.

like drake is incredibly tit for tat. kendrick says he hates women, which we know is true after we’ve watched him spend at least half of his career dissing women he’d previously dated/been attracted to and hanging out with their abusers. so in response drake says lol u beat ur wife (no evidence of anything of the sort, the only source being online gossip forums amongst drakes fans). kendrick says he grooms young girls, which again we have video and photo evidence of this happening several times over, provided by a variety of sources including a published article over the past several years. drake then says lol your wife cheated on you w your colleague and bore his child not yours (no evidence, just something his fans say as a dig which is rooted in misogyny and only serves to undermine his previous accusation about kendrick’s wife being a survivor bc hes essentially slut shaming her and playing her rumored abuse as a joke/something she is somehow deserving of bc she “cheated”). also: “haha ur only mad at me because you yourself are a victim” (not true, kendrick spoke on his mom being a survivor and being worried that something had happened to him due to her own trauma though nothing actually did, and even if he was that’s not by any fault of his own, unlike being a predator which is an active series of decisions that one blames the perpetrator for not the victim). also “im too famous to be a rapist if i was id be in jail right??” (?????).

anyways i think drake is treating this beef as a “i’m going to throw anything at the wall a hope some shit sticks regardless of whether or not it’s true” type thing whereas i am confident that kendrick genuinely believes what he’s saying is true and that is what is informing his genuine hatred for drake and desire to see him dead. he’s not just trying to hurt drakes feelings he genuinely believes this is a righteous pursuit (even though i want to be clear that kendrick himself is a hypocrite who’s worked w abusers in the past). if drake genuinely believed any of the shit he said abt kendrick he would not be handling it like this and would be taking it way more seriously.