#and then i remembered a really nice keyboard i saw in a shop months ago

[soggypotatoes]

i was gonna say what is it called when you have a lot of impulses and theyre like, so strong that not doing them is almost physically painful and as soon as i have it theres such a strong sense of urgency i cant shake it for ages and it comes with so much anxiety whether or not i follow through

then i thought, ah, adhd...

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

What’s yours is mine 1

Warnings: nonconsent and rape, allusions to abuse, stalking, possessiveness, pregnancy, and more tags to be added.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Pairing: dark!Ransom Drysdale x pregnant!Reader

Summary: After five years, your past is far behind you but just as you think you can live your happily ever after, your ex shows up at the worst moment.

Note: I couldn’t sleep and ended up writing this and it will not be a long ongoing series but it will be a few parts. But Roo you say that all the time. Yes, well, I’m trying and I’m sorry but I’m gonna try to not be the worst.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

“Oh my god, is that really you?” the voice made you stand stalk straight.

You took a breath and forced a smile before you turned to the indomitable woman. You never expected to see Linda again, not after you broke up with her son almost five years ago. And there she was, as rigid and righteous as ever, her thin lips curved in a mocking grin.

“Linda,” you greeted her in a singsong and looked around the grocery store. You never went to the overpriced organic market but your local shop didn’t have dragonfruit and you had a painful craving, “how are you?”

“Darling, I’m just great,” she held an empty basket on her arm, an odd sight as you never expected her to do her own shopping, “oh, and look at you!” Before you knew it, her hand was on your stomach and you struggled not shy away, “how far are you?”

“Um,” you looked down at the large ring on her finger and resisted the urge to step away as you often did in this situation, “almost five months.”

“And married?” she grabbed your left hand and pretended to admire the small teardrop diamond, “gorgeous.”

“Mhmm,” you waited for you to release you and swayed in place, “you barely look a day older than the last time I saw you.”

“You’re well? You look well,” she primped her short hair at the compliment, “oh, a baby.” She reached out again and you sighed as she rubbed your stomach, “for luck.”

You tried not to frown and ended up laughing at the tension, “well, it was nice running into you.”

“Oh, you know, I barely come down here but we’re headed up to my father’s place, you remember, such a cozy house, and Joni is in charge of food and well, I wouldn’t trust her with a plastic spoon so of course, I have a back up plan.”

You nodded along with her awkwardly, frozen in the spot as the dragon fruit barely seemed worth the torture. Linda was hard to please and alway derisive, but for as long as you were with Ransom, she had taken a keen shine to you. That alone came with an edge but it was rarely used to cut you.

You forced another laugh, “that sounds fun, getting away from the city.”

“Ugh, just another family gathering,” she waved it off with her free hand, “I’ll have to tell Ransom I ran into you, if he even shows up.”

“Well, I don’t think--”

“He’s grown up so much,” she interrupted, “you wouldn’t believe it. He got his own imprint in my father’s company publishing true crime. He’s really making a place for himself now.”

“That’s great,” you tried not to falter at the mention of her son. You hadn’t ended on the greatest terms and your relationship had been tumultuous and regrettable.

“I hope you have a great weekend, Linda,” you said, “but I got to--”

“Oh, not at all, I’m keeping you,” she squeezed your arm, “God, he was such an idiot to let you go.”

You nodded and swallowed through your tight throat, “I’m glad he’s doing better for himself.”

“You too,” she trilled, “oh, before I let you go, darling, is it a boy?”

You blinked and your smile wavered, “how did you know?”

“I could always tell,” she said, “so precious.”

She gave your stomach one last pat and disappeared into the produce section. You blinked as you looked down at the scaled fruit in your right hand. Chocolate, you needed chocolate.

You were rattled as you waited in the express line and put your things on the belt. You hadn’t thought of Ransom in a very long time. Not much. His shadow followed you around in those moments when your heart raced and your head spun, but you had learned to work through those fits. No one else knew what happened behind closed doors, they only knew Ransom, not Hugh.

You paid and shoved your fruit and candy into a paper bag. You headed out into the misty spring air. The rain had finally stopped and left the streets slick and shining. The sun was hazy as it clung to the last of the clouds and you inhaled the wet scent of grass and gravel.

You let your key hang from the ignition as you took a moment to gather yourself. You stared at the modest ring on your finger and held your stomach and you swore you could still feel Linda’s bony hand there. 

You had a loving husband, Dez, and a son on the way. Ransom wasn’t a part of any of that and this was just a blip on radar, the aftershock of the storm that ended years before. You sniffed and turned the engine. You wouldn’t go back to that store, it was far too expensive and the clientele were certainly not of your ilk.

🍼

Dez was in the kitchen when you got home, the smell of steak and peppers rose from the frying pan. You kissed his cheek as he kept one hand on the spatula and you dropped your bag on the counter beside the stove. You went to the fridge and poured yourself a glass of water. You turned and leaned against the marble and drank deeply.

“So, hon, how was your day?” he asked as he put the spatula down and peeked in the bag, “hmm, odd pairing but I don’t hate it.”

“I had a craving,” you shrugged, “it was… okay,” you heaved, “what’s for dinner?”

“Steak fajitas,” he said, “I trimmed the fat for you and,” he turned and reached out to you, “and I got you some champagne… non-alcoholic, obviously.”

“You know it doesn’t have the same effects,” you kidded as you put your glass down and settled into his arms, “and well,” you looked down at your stomach, “we already got one drunken night growing.”

He laughed and bent to kiss you on the lips. He rocked you as the pan sizzled behind him. You closed your eyes and tensed as suddenly your head flashed with the memory of Ransom, of the way he’d kiss you, harder than Dez, and the way it always turned to more whether you wanted it or not.

“Hey,” Dez pulled back, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied, “hormones.”

“Aw, hon, well I have the perfect dessert planned,” he purred.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm, strawberry massage oil,” he framed your face with his hand, “a nice long back rub…”

“Perfect,” you giggled, “why are you spoiling me?”

“Don’t I always?” he smirked.

“Hmm, rarely without reason,” you said.

“Well…” he voice trailed off and slowly he dropped his arms. He turned his back to you and grabbed the pan, stirring the contents with a shake, “I didn’t want you to miss me too bad.”

“Miss you?” you came forward and bent your arms over the counter, “where are you going?”

“Chicago, there’s some evidence down there we need to look at and they refuse to transfer it to our office so… bullshit confidentiality clause, but we need it.”

“How long?” your heart dropped.

“Well, I gotta leave in the morning but I told Gary I won’t stay longer than Monday.”

“And what did he say?”

“He laughed,” Dez shook his head, “I promise, I’ll do my best to be back as soon as I can--”

“No, I understand,” you said gloomily, “it’s just…” you cupped your chin and tapped your lips with your fingertips, “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” he said as he turned the burner off, “and this little guy,” he touched your stomach and you shivered as you remembered how Linda had done the same with her cold palm, “so, you choose a name yet?”

“Still not naming him Superman, babe,” you chided, “but no, I can’t make up my mind. God, it’s like my mind is in shambles, I can’t remember why I go in a room or even focus on one thing for more than two minutes before I’m distracted by what colour I want to paint the nursery and I can’t even decide on that because then I’m thinking about what kind of wood the crib should be--”

“It’s fine, you’re fine,” he assured as he opened the bag of tortillas, “you’re still there, you’re just… sharing a brain right now.”

“Wasn’t enough to go around in the first place,” you scoffed.

“Shh,” he arranged the plates carefully, like a five star restaurant, tortillas stacked, steak and veg together, a little dish of cheese, some sour cream, lettuce, salsa, all divvied out in a spectacular salsa you would only make a mess of.

“I thought the pregnancy would give me a chance to finish my book, but--”

“Well, you got maternity leave after that,” he said.

“From what? Sitting at my keyboard and crying? I’ll just be holding a baby and crying,” you sighed, “you said you’d take some time off.”

“I did say that and I will,” he grabbed the plates and nodded you out of the kitchen. He set the plates on the table and you sat as he went to grab two glasses and as many bottles. He poured you your spineless champagne and had a beer for himself, “I don’t want to miss anything.”

“You can’t take forever off,” you muttered, “we both know that. I could go back to copywriting and maybe--”

“Babe, that job made you miserable and you will finish your book,” he handed you a napkin, “I’ve read your stuff, it’s… you said your ex was in publishing?”

“Did I?”

“I thought you did, you never really… talk about the exes, which I love but, I think you said something about it. You don’t think he would--”

“No,” you snapped, “no,” you said softer, “he wouldn’t.”

“Sorry,” he said startled by your reaction, “I didn’t--”

“It’s nothing, I just-- exes, right?”

“It was a stupid suggestion,” he said, “I’m sorry, but… I have a client, he might have some contacts.”

“You don’t have to do that--”

“I don’t have to, I want to because the world deserves to hear your voice,” he insisted, “I hate to share you but I’d be selfish to keep you to myself.”

You smiled and unfolded a tortilla. Still, your heart raced as the second mention of Ransom that day had you on edge. Dez watched you build your fajita and you looked up at him.

“Well, since you’ll be in Chicago, maybe I’ll get a few pages done.”

🍼

The call came on Monday, Dez wouldn’t be home that night. You contented yourself to stay in with your laptop and sugar cookies. Still, you barely got a sentence done before you snapped your computer closed and gave up with a frustrated grunt. You slept, not well, and got up with some trouble as your hips ached.

A good morning text from Dez made you smile but there was still no promise of an impending return. You felt pent up in the apartment and lonely as its emptiness reminded you of your absent husband. Too tense to sit down and type, you opted to go for a walk, hoping it would calm your nerves.

You walked past the shop windows and stopped to peek in at used books and handmade candles. You had no destination in mind, only a restless step. There was a little store at the corner with locally made quilts and knitted sweaters. The smell of potpourri wafted out from beneath the painted door and made your throat tickle. Even so, your curiosity drew you inside.

A small woman greeted you from behind the desk. She held two needles as she crocheted some indistinguishable craft. You smiled and said hello as you headed down the centre aisle. You looked along the racks of quilts, floral, striped, plaid, and polka dot. You stopped at a bright yellow piece with honey bees along the border. You hadn’t thought of yellow for the nursery.

You felt the soft fabric and checked the tag. You lifted the quilt from the bar, content that it was worth it and a great motivator. You stopped before you could turn back, a familiar voice chilled your blood.

“It’s cute,” Ransom said as he stepped up next to you, “kinda girly for a boy though.”

You glanced over at him and folded the blanket over your arm. You backed up but as you turned he did too. He blocked your bath as he stretched his arm across the aisle.

“My mother told me you were expecting,” he said, “and she was right, you look good.”

“What do you want?” you whispered as you clutched the quilt.

“Nothing, just saying hello,” his mouth slanted.

“Hugh, I’m not stupid,” you hissed, “it’s been five years.”

“Hugh,” he repeated dully, “you remember your manners.”

“Leave me alone and let me past,” you tried to duck under his arm but he shifted his body over and backed you up to the end of the aisle.

“And married,” he taunted.

“He’s outside,” you lied, “if I stay too long--”

“I didn’t see him when you walked up,” he intoned, “he must be easy to miss.”

“Have you been following me?” you uttered.

“Only from the cafe,” he shrugged, “short walk.”

“Please, get away from me,” you quivered.

“I’m not doing anything--”

“You know exactly what you’re doing,” you hissed, “now I will scream so move.”

“Mama Bear,” he crooned, “I love it, you’re so protective.”

“Hugh,” you warned.

“Sweetie,” he hummed.

You shoved his shoulder but he didn’t move. You hit him harder and he winced. He chuckled and stood straight. He waved his arm down the aisle and stepped aside.

“Don’t make a scene,” he said, “you always did like to be dramatic.”

“Fuck you,” you snarled, “don’t come near me again.”

“Don’t act like you don’t miss me,” he called after you as you dropped the quilt on the counter, “we were so good together.”

You left without buying, a shrill apology to the lady at the counter as you went as fast as you could out the door. The bell tinkled after you and the door clamored shut. You felt nauseous and dizzy. The last thing you wanted or needed was to ever see that man again.

[peachsayshi]

Chapter 11 - Friends

Tags: Friends with Benefits, Angst, Fluff

Summary: You convince Gojo to make up with your best friend and memories from the past come up. 

A/N: A wild ex-boyfriend appears! I am finally introducing the character and getting into some backstory. I got some smutty chapters coming up, which I am excited to share because I do love writing sexy Gojo X comments are always appreciated! 

- - - 

( Three Years Ago)

You cleared the plates in front of you as you made your way back to your kitchen. You packed the meal that you had taken the time to meticulously prepare, including the expensive steaks you bought this morning and the vegetables that you hand picked at the farmer’s market. As you opened the fridge to put away the items, you saw the row of vanilla cupcakes placed neatly on a pan, your shaky handwriting spread across each one that read “ Five Years ” with red hearts decorated on the extras. Suddenly, it all seemed silly how you took the time to prepare a surprise anniversary dinner for your boyfriend. You’ve both been together for so long but you still insisted on making every occasion special.

After you tidied up your dining table, you picked up the wine glass you have been nursing for the last hour and made your way over to your bedroom, where you sat on the chair next to your vanity. You removed the earrings that your boyfriend had bought you for your birthday, your favorite pair because they matched beautifully against your skin, and safely tucked them away in your jewelry box. You were disappointed that you made such a big deal out of tonight, feeling like a sentimental fool as you took a sip of your drink. Haru has been so preoccupied with work lately and the pressure of being in a highly competitive field was getting to him. Of course with the way things have been he wouldn’t remember that tonight was your anniversary dinner. You were trying to be mature about it but you couldn’t ignore that you were hurt. You glanced at your phone, reading 10:45 on the clock before finally giving up on the hope that he would show up.

You removed the dress you were wearing, a bold shade of orange that accentuated your body in all the right places - a dress that he bought you while you both went on a summer trip to Okinawa a few years ago. You changed into something a little more comfortable, throwing on a tank top and some loose lounge pants instead.

You heard your phone ping, a message popping up on the screen from Gojo.

Gojo : How did the dinner go?

You sighed to yourself, before plopping down onto your mattress. You tapped away at the keyboard, erasing each message a few times as you were unsure whether you wanted to vent or give him a brief explanation.

You : It didn’t…I think he’s still at work :(

Gojo : That sucks :\ Well, if you have any leftover cupcakes, I will gladly take them off your hands.

You: Nice try, idiot.

Gojo: I didn’t hear you say I couldn’t have any :)

When you didn’t respond to his message, Gojo followed up with another text that read:

Gojo: You okay?

You: I’m fine, I was just looking forward to tonight. I’ll get over myself. Tell me about your night, you can keep me preoccupied from my disappointment lol

Gojo merely responded with some eye emojis, a cheeky indication as to what he has been up to this evening.

You: At least one of us got some action...what’s her name?

Gojo: No idea, I was too distracted by her legs to care.  

You merely rolled your eyes at his comment.

You: It doesn’t take much to get you going, does it?

Gojo: I’m a simple guy, really…

You: …

Gojo: …

You: In WHAT universe?!

Gojo : Pshh, so mean to me all the time :(

You: With reason :)

You smiled when you sent that last text, grateful that Gojo came in at the right time with a distraction. You tried your best not to dwell on the dismal way your evening ended and instead continued to list off the many reasons why the word “simple” and “Gojo Satoru” did not go hand and hand with each other. Your conversation made time fly but that was usually the case whenever you spoke with your friend.

You were so lost in the playfully heated debate you were having, you barely heard the knock coming from your front door.

You abandoned your conversation to see who it was, surprised to find a massive bouquet of flowers greeting you on the other side.

“What…”

Haru peaked from behind the flowers, his sweet smile spreading as he looked at you with sad eyes.

“Happy anniversary!” he chirped, but you could hear the anxiousness in his tone. “ I know I’m late, I know I missed dinner…”

A deep sigh escaped him, as he slightly slumped his shoulders, extending both his hands out to you to pass the bouquet.

“I know this is a meaningless gift in comparison to whatever amazing thing you prepared, I know my efforts don’t even come close to yours, you always put so much care into everything you do. By the time I knew I was late, I was running around the city like a mad man hoping that someone, anyone, would be kind enough to open their shop for me so I would at least not come back empty handed…”

“Haru, take a breath…” you replied, hearing how quickly he was blurting out his words, something he usually did when he was nervous.

You took the bouquet from his hands, admiring the selected assortment of your favorite florals, all picked out by your boyfriend. You traced your fingers along each petal, some a little bruised and you could tell that these flowers were from  the leftovers of the day.

Haru approached you, cupping your face in his hands as he leaned down and planted a kiss on your lips.

“I’m so sorry . None of my excuses justify missing dinner tonight. I swear I am going to make it up to you…”

You tried to calm him down, running your fingers through his light brown hair and taking in every word he said as you remained focused on his hazel eyes. Your heart flutters thinking of him galavanting around the city in his disheveled work suit trying to knock on every florists’ door, a funny anecdote you will surely use against him in the future.  

“How do you plan on making it up to me?” You teased, noticing the way his brow raised at your question.

He pulled you closer into him, planting kisses along your neck before he brushed his lips against your ear to say, “I’m taking the weekend off, how does a nice trip to Hakone sound?”

“ Mmm, ideal… ” you replied, clutching the bouquet of flowers as he hugged you, “but if you keep holding me close, you’re going to ruin this lovely gift you bought me…”

“Then I’ll buy you another, and another, and another ...until I’ve given you enough flowers so that you can plant an entire garden,” he kissed you again, his fingers stroking the back of your neck as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“I’m so sorry, baby…” he repeated, his voice wavering slightly from his second apology.

“It’s okay, work comes first. I know you have been busy and probably should have planned our evening with you instead of surprising you. But you’re here now and that's what matters.”

He nodded his head, finally untangling himself from your arms, relieved that you seemed to have forgiven him.

“ I love you so much.”

“ I love you too, Haru .”

You gave him a small smile, tilting your head towards the direction of your kitchen, “It might be too late for dinner but I baked you some cupcakes if you’re up for a little snack…”

Haru removed his blazer, carefully hanging it over his elbow before undoing the first few buttons of his shirt. He held your hand, following your footsteps as you led him into the direction of your kitchen.

“ I can’t wait to try them. ”

( Present)

“ You brought me here under false pretences …” Gojo grumbled, holding himself back as you tugged on his jacket.

It’s been four months since the two of you started hooking up and weeks since he and Rina have even spoken to one another.

After Gojo confessed that she knew about your relationship, you managed to find the time to sit down with your best friend for a heart to heart. The two of you had a ritual which included locking yourselves up in a room with snacks  and drinks until you came to resolve whatever conflict you were dealing with.

“I just don’t understand why you kept this from me,” Rina explained, before taking a sip of the mixed cocktail you both made.

“ You’ve been so overprotective ever since Haru and I broke up…it’s hard for me to talk to you because you start analyzing every little thing I do. Like when I told you I wanted to stop dating for a while, you kept insisting that I was making a mistake because I was running scared…”

“I also know you’re a hopeless romantic, and a few bad dates weren’t fitting this idealised version you have of love…” Rina pressed, “You got lucky with Haru, but diving back into the game takes time and work…”

“I know I was lucky. I know it’s not usual for the first guy you meet to be so… good ,” you replied, that word tasting bitter in your mouth, “But you keep pressuring me into something I am not ready for…”

“That’s not true!”

“Rina, you would take me out on “surprise” double dates when the two of us were just supposed to just be hanging out together. Whenever I talk about Haru, you shut down and change the subject immediately. I can’t even have a night out together without you herding every single eligible male and asking me my opinion…”

Rina sighed, “it sounds way worse when you say it out loud...”

“It’s like you can’t stand that I’m just… a little broken . I let Haru become a part of who I am for five years and losing him feels like I lost a part of me, and I am struggling trying to get that person back. You want me to be okay so badly it’s stopping me from opening up to you…”

Rina inched her way closer as the two of you sat side by side. A sigh escaped her before she spoke, “I’m not good at this…I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I just can’t stand seeing you so hurt. I know that he took a piece of your happiness and I am so angry that he did. I hate that he betrayed your trust, but more so that you haven’t been able to be yourself without him…”

She squeezed your shoulder before giving you a gentle reminder, “but he never defined you. You’re attaching yourself to the love you had for him. And you will find somebody else, somebody better …”

“Maybe but I can’t see myself falling in love again…at least not anytime soon…”

Rina rested her head on your elbow, “I don’t want you to ever think you can’t speak to me…we’ve lasted way longer than all the exes that have walked in and out of our lives…”

You were happy to mend this small fracture, one of the many that has tried to hinder your friendship.

You eventually explained your little arrangement with Gojo, watching Rina’s reaction closely and trying to pull the truth of what she  exactly  said to him.

“I may have thought you were dating, like seriously dating, and told him he wasn’t good enough for you. I am glad to know that you are not. We don’t need to trade one man whore for another…”

You laughed, “Gojo has always made it clear that he has no desire to commit to anyone. I’m not worried. Besides, we can stop our arrangement anytime we are over it.”

“Sooo, when might that be?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “right now, I’m having fun and I think he is too…”

Rina hummed, you could tell she was thinking about something but whatever ran through her mind in that moment she chose to keep to herself.

Even though you and Rina smoothed things over, you realised that neither she or Gojo tried to make an effort to speak to one another. He was avoiding her at all costs while she chose to ignore  the subject entirely. You still had no idea what was said that set those two off but you were over this cold game they were playing.

“Between your inability to handle any confrontation and her stubborn attitude, you two are going to drag this on for way longer than it needs to be…” you lectured.

You paused when you arrived at her store, staring up at Gojo with pleading eyes. “I don’t like being the reason why you two aren’t speaking… please just talk to her…”

Gojo whined, “throw it on my conscience instead, that way you have no reason to feel guilty…”

You furrowed your brows before letting go of him, but a thought passed your mind which gave you an idea, “Remember that thing you brought up the other night? Your little roleplaying idea…”

Gojo arched his brows from underneath his blindfold, surprised that you were even bringing this up. “ Yes… ”

You smirked, stepping closer to him without actually touching him at all. “If you do this for me then I'll happily return the favor…”

His eyes widened, his heart racing slightly as a wave of excitement rushed through him.

You could see he was contemplating your offer, finally scoffing in defeat. “You know saying no to you was a lot easier when you weren’t bribing me with sex…” he grumbled, as he begrudgingly walked passed you.

“You did tell me once that you were a man of simple taste…”

“And I vividly remember you disagreeing with me.”

“Thank you!” You called out watching him reach the handle of the entrance door.

“Just know I am expecting you to hold up your end of the deal,” he replied before making his way inside.

***

Gojo sat at the counter, the awkward silence hung heavy in the air as Rina waited for him to break the tension. When that didn’t happen, she sighed to herself before storming to the backroom of her shop.

Gojo waited for her return, his eyes widening when she finally reappeared with something in her hands.

“ I’m sorry for how I spoke to you,” she said, bowing in his direction and handing him some treats.

“Aww, Rina-chan, how did you know kikufuku was my favorite?” Gojo questioned, his tone softening his sweet words as he held the packet between his fingers.

“I heard it through the grapevine…”

Gojo couldn’t hide his pleasured grin.

You were always so considerate of everyone, going above and beyond to make them happy and paying close attention to the things they liked the most. You must have already spoken to Rina before he came here, playing the role of matchmaker between friends.

Rina definitely noticed his response.

“Thank you,” he replied as he opened up the packet, “I know your anger was coming from a protective place. I don’t fault you for it. Besides, you and I can happily agree on one thing…”

“What’s that?”

Gojo smirked, “she’s too good for me…”

Rina swallowed hard, mainly because of how sincere that statement actually sounded.

“I care about her…”

Gojo hummed to himself, taking a bite of the sweet snack. “And you think I don’t?”

“Can I be honest?”

“ Please. ”

“I am not questioning your care for her, I am questioning what your intentions are. I won’t apologize for not trusting you.  You promised me after she broke up with Haru that you wouldn’t make a move on her but here we are now…”

“I kept my promise.”

“You found a loophole…”

“It’s been three years…she’s allowed to move on.”

“Yes she is…”

“You know, I was surprised by how angry you got at her for keeping us a secret, especially since we both know that there are plenty of things you’re hiding from her right now. Then I started thinking that it wasn’t the secret that was bothering you, you just don’t want her moving on with me…”

Rina averted her gaze, completely surprised by how easily Gojo read her.

“Like I said, I don’t trust you…”

He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the counter, “What did Haru tell you exactly?”

“Why are you asking?”

“I just want to know if you’re still adamant on convincing yourself that I am the bad guy or if you would like to know what actually happened between us…”

*** 

CHAPTER 12 - MUSE

[stellar-starseed]

Closer Than That

Group: Stray Kids

Pairing: Changbin x fem!reader, Jisung x fem!reader, polyamory

Word Count: 2,330

Summary: Your best friends happen to be 3racha, but Changbin was your closest friend from childhood. When things start to take a different turn in your relationship, you’re left wondering which way is up.

Chapter: 5/?

Other Chapters: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4

Warnings: 18+; sexual content, language

Note: This is cross posted on ao3

Chapter 5

Changbin entered your empty apartment after waiting outside for some time to no answer. He checked the studio to be sure you weren’t wrapped in a creative streak, but he found it empty along with the rest of your apartment. He sat on the couch and groaned. He really fucked up, he thought to himself.

Although it wasn’t more than a week since he had seen you, it had been so long since he had spent anytime without you it felt empty. On top of this not being a normal occurrence, Changbin felt out of sorts thinking you were truly upset with him.

“I should’ve never said that.” He said out loud. He looked to his side and the first time he kissed you flashed in his mind. You were shocked and he found it so cute the way you tried to deny it all at first. Changbin remembered the feeling of you relaxing into his arms as he pressed his lips against yours. The sweet taste of you as he ran his tongue over your lip. He found himself biting down on his bottom lip.

“Feel better?” Felix asked as he saw Changbin come through the front door. Changbin sighed.

“It’s all good, mate.” Chan pat him on the back, “Felix made the best brownies to date.” Chan stuffed his mouth. “Mmmm!” He did a little dance. Changbin laughed at Chan’s actions.

“Give me one of those.” Changbin sat down at the table. Felix brought over a plate full of brownies.

“There are three different kinds. These are extra gooey fudge, these are dark chocolate, and the last are chocolate with chocolate chunks.”

“What? I didn’t know there were options.” Chan pouts coming back to the plate.

“Bro, you had like four I thought you knew.” Changbin chuckled at the two of them.

“These are good.” Changbin nodded. Felix brightened up and thanked him.

“I’m working on a batch of cookies right now.” Felix turned on his heal and headed back to the kitchen. Changbin chuckled at him.

“You seem like you’re feeling better.” Chan sat next to Changbin and grabbed for a fifth brownie.

“Nah, I’m just realizing how bad I fucked up.”

“I missed you.” You finally spit out the words as your heading out of the coffee shop. Jisung’s heart soars and he can’t hold back his smile.

“I missed you too,______.” His hand reaches for yours and you feel goosebumps run up your arms at his gentle touch. His eyes meet yours and he pulls you towards him. You momentarily don’t know where this is going but it crosses your mind that he wants to kiss you. You shake it from your mind, that can’t be true, you think. As your mind races through contradicting thoughts, Jisung’s lips find yours.

You’re so lost in the shock of it all you didn’t get to fully enjoy the kiss. It was over far too soon. Your lips tingled when he pulled away and you searched his eyes. He seemed so defeated when you admitted to having feelings for Changbin, but now it was as if you hadn’t said a word. He slipped his fingers through yours and let you know he would walk you to your car.

When you reached your car, Jisung pulled you in close. Wrapping his arms around you, he rested his head on yours. He felt content. He missed you, he missed this feeling.

You closed your eyes and let your arms slip around his slender body. It felt so nice to be wrapped in his arms. His scent was familiar and so comforting. You weren’t sure how you could deal without him. The pang you felt when he was gone came back and you pulled away slightly.

“Don’t leave me.” You said looking into his eyes. Jisung leaned down and softly kissed you before he seriously looked you in the eyes again.

“Never.” He said, the way he looked at you made you feel as if he wanted to make sure you understood he truly meant it. You nodded ever so slightly and rested your head on his chest. He tightened his arms around you again. You were both content to stay like that.

Jisung felt refreshed. He wasn’t sure why he let his emotions get the best of him for that long, but he vowed to never do that again. He replayed the first and second kiss in his mind the whole walk home. His heart fluttered and he chuckled to himself as he entered the dorm.

Jisung danced his way into the living room, a song playing on his lips. He stopped at the couch to belt out the last line.

“You’re in a good mood. All of a sudden?” Changbin was slumped on the couch, his hands intertwined and his thumbs circling each other. He looked down at his hands. Jisung froze.

“Uh. Yes?” He cleared his throat. “Hey,” Jisung looked around and sat on the couch. “I’m sorry. You know, for being an ass.”

“Yeah?” Changbin questioned. “Are you sorry for kissing her too?”

You fell back down on your bed with a dreamy sigh. How could his lips be so soft and delicious? You shrieked and had a mini flailing fit. He looked so good in that outfit and he smelled so good. Your mind was flooded with thoughts of your ‘Hannie’. You filled with excitement just thinking he was yours. You giggled to yourself.

Jumping up from your bed, you headed to your studio. You felt inspired and couldn’t shake the grin you had. The scene replayed over and over. The way he kissed you. The way he held you. The way he looked at you like you were the only important thing to exist.

“Seungie.” You said out loud as you gently touched your lips, chasing that feeling again. You had to tell Somin, you thought.

You pulled out your phone and immediately sent a message to your friend. Moments later she text back in her normal skeptical fashion.

Minnie:

18:38: Are you sure about that?

18:39: What about Binnie? I was routing for him!

You send back a few emojis. It was exciting for you to finally kiss your crush and Somin knew what a crush it had been over the years. You felt a bit guilty for it after her text.

You sat down in your chair and noticed a folded piece of paper on your keyboard. You were certain you didn’t leave this here. You unfolded it to familiar handwriting.

You chuckle to yourself when Changbin’s familiar voice runs through your mind as you read over a new nick name for you, ‘my princess’.

“I wanted to see you, but I guess you still need some space. I’m sorry that I upset you, and if I hurt you I’m even sorrier. I care about you and I hope you know that I wouldn’t hurt you on purpose.”

You smile to yourself. Changbin was the biggest sweetheart when he wanted to be and the biggest brat otherwise. You were nearly ready to head to the dorms just to see him when you realized this may not be the best idea. How were Jisung and Changbin going to get along, and how was Changbin going to feel after finding out you kissed Jisung?

*Chime*

You pick up your phone to a message from Minho.

MinHoe:

18:49:

>gif of mad laughter<

18:49:

They’re plotting your demise. I can’t protect you, but I always liked you!

You laugh to yourself. Minho was precious. You text back the most dramatic crying gif you could find and tell him you always loved him. This web you have created is going to affect everyone around you. You sighed. Hopefully they could let out their steam and maybe things could go back to semi normal.

Jisung was caught by surprise. It wasn’t but fifteen minutes ago that he had kissed you. How could Changbin have seen?

“I-“ he cocked his head. “No.” He shrugged, shaking his head. “I’m not.” Jisung answered Changbin’s question honestly. There was a blanket of silence that took over the room.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I was an ass and I shouldn’t have taken it out in you. But I’m not sorry for kissing her. I’m not sorry for liking her. I don’t think you should be sorry for those things either.”

Slowly, their guards were let down. They had a real conversation about the events that had taken place in their friendship over the last few months. They talked about their feelings for you and they talked about the last few weeks of arguing. They were both a little hurt from each other and the situation. Neither Changbin nor Jisung knew where to go from here.

After about an hour going back and forth with yourself between whether this may be a god idea or a bad idea, you open a group text for Changbin and Jisung. You ask them to come over to talk.

Binnie:

18:55: Of course. :)

Seungie:

18:57: Like together?

Binnie:

18:57: He’ll be there.

Seungie:

18:58: Okay! Me too.

You become a little nervous when you think about addressing the situation head on. But you were all adults, and this shouldn’t be so hard. You wanted your friendships to withstand anything, and this was a true test if ever there was one.

You tried to rehearse different ways of approaching this, but in the end you basically just came up with a couple of points you needed to make. Which was better than nothing.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Changbin’s signature knock and you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself. You tried to make sure you were as presentable as possible before opening the door. You realized your heart rate had picked up a bit but you opened the door like normal.

Changbin stood there with his hat and hoodie. He was emanating boyfriend vibes, and you were a sucker for seeing him in hats and hoodies. Jisung’s smile was the next thing to catch your eye and it warmed your heart.

“Well,” you step aside, “what are you waiting for?”

Changbin pauses, glances at Jisung and back at you. He steals a quick kiss and hurries inside. Jisung paused for a moment, a confused look on his face. He wasn’t sure if that was allowed after their heart to heart.

Jisung rubbed the back of his head and stepped closer to you. He stole a quick kiss as well and you chuckled. This is something you could get used to.

“So,” Changbin plopped down on the couch. “You need my superior producing advice, right? That’s why you called me over?” He smiled wide.

“Then why am I here?” Jisung laughed.

“To kiss and make up.” Changbin remarked.

“Oh, in that case.” Jisung stepped forward, wrapping an arm around your waist he gives you a peck on the cheek. “Do you forgive me darling?” You chuckle at his dramatic tone.

“Hey, hey.” Changbin says, “I didn’t approve that kiss.”

“All kisses need the Changbin seal?” You question.

“How else is this going to work? You know I get jealous.”

“How is what going to work?” You look from Changbin to Jisung who shrugs.

“This.” He circles a finger in the air around the three of you. “Us.” He sits down on the couch. You decide to head over to the couch yourself and you grab Jisung’s hand to pull him along behind you. You sit next to Changbin and grab his hand. Looking at both of their hands in your lap, you sigh.

“Us?” You look at Changbin. “We’re going to be an us?”

“Yeah.” He says, a smile tugging at his lips. “You forgive me?” He pouts and gives you puppy eyes. You can’t help but smile at him.

“Maybe.” You pout. “You made me feel like shit when you ignored me to flirt with that makeup girl that has a thing for you. When you said you told Chan we were dating I felt like you were playing games. Please, don’t do anything like that again.”

“I won’t, but she has a thing for Chan. I asked her to do that to make you jealous. I am so sorry that I hurt you.”

You repeatedly smack Changbin’s arm. “You’re the biggest brat, you know that?” You can’t help but laugh at this point. Changbin nods with a smile.

“Seungie?” You turn to Jisung who was unusually quiet.

“Hm?” You pulled him from his thoughts and he turns his body towards you.

“Are you also on board?”

“I just...” he seems to be gathering his thoughts. “Do I have to sleep with him?”

“What?” Changbin sat straight up. “I never said...” he shuddered.

You shrugged. “No one has to do anything they don’t want to do. I’m not asking you guys to suddenly change everything. You don’t even have to agree to this, but I am interested in trying it out.”

“Okay. Then yes.” Jisung says after a moment of thought. “I have always shared you with Changbin and it didn’t seem to bother me. It was when I thought you had made a choice. A single choice that wasn’t me, that’s what hurt my feelings.”

You hold Jisung’s face in your hands and give him a kiss. You lean your forehead against his. You could see the smile in his eyes and it made you happy.

“If I can be completely honest...” You look back and forth between the two of them. “I have had feelings for you both for such a long time that it would’ve been too hard to choose.”

Changbin’s hand slid up your back and he began to rub soothing circles over your shirt. You leaned back into Changbin and pulled Jisung on top of you.

“I could definitely get used to this.” You giggle.

“Me too.” Changbin says softly next your ear before pressing his lips to your cheek.

————————————————————

Thanks for stopping by, lovely!

I hope you enjoyed. Catch you next episode :)

[starryse]

Café of Hell- Literally

Kim Taehyung Demon! Au

Genre: fluff, angst, humor, fantasy, demons

Group: BTS (Taehyung)

Pairing: Demon!Taehyun X female! reader

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For the past 3 months you’ve been working at the coffee shop near your university, which luckily for you, was only a few minutes away. The tips were always generous and the customers were polite, even if you messed up their order. Sure it was a minimum wage job that didn’t exactly allow you to buy gucci, but it paid your student debts and kept the electric on in your small apartment down the street. Plus, you just happened to be favored by your boss and receive discounts on all coffee drinks, how good for you since most nights when you got home from school were spent cramming in study guides and chugging down the cold vanilla latte from that morning. And the same happened to go for you now, as you sat on your grey carpeted bedroom floor, iron-man socks clad to your sprawled out legs, highlighter clutched in your hand as notes were scratched across your sociology homework that just happened to be due first thing tomorrow. The clock seemed to speed up when you really needed it to stop just long enough to finish this and rush to the night shift at work. Night shifts weren’t rare for you, so to have to rush through your homework and scramble around to get ready were almost a normal thing in your apartment. As soon as you finished the question you had spent ages on, the playlist that was once on shuffle was shut off as you stuffed the papers into your bag by the messy bed that had all your notes and clothes clustered from the headboard, all the way to the bottom where you stood. Tossing the floral bag onto the havoc looking bed, you pulled the hair-tie off of your wrist, threading it around your disheveled hair away from your face. You puffed your cheeks out as a breath of air came out, taking in a single moment of silence before you continued to run around your apartment getting ready. The curtains that were originally tied up were now flowing down the window, and the pumpkin candle aroma that filled your cozy apartment started slowly dying down as the smoke from the flame took its place. After tossing your laptop into your bag and grabbing your phone off its charger, you quickly shuffled your away through the door, locking it in the process.“5 minutes to spare tonight, nice Y/N” You glanced down to the time on your phone, taking a quick break from rushing to work, knowing you finally had time to get to work unlike the previous days where time was just a figure of your imagination.. In other words, you were so late out the door your boss thought you died. Typically you would drive to work since it had been either highly cold or pouring outside, but today was different. You were actually on your way early this time and the weather was calm and breezy, unlike every other day in your life. The cream colored building came into your view as you rounded the corner of the cafe.

The bell chimed as you stepped into the shop, the smell of coffee and the warmth of the heaters immediately hitting you. Shrugging off your long coat that held past your knees, you were met with the familiar face of your boss.“Somethings wrong, you’re never here when you’re scheduled to be. Who died? Do I need to call animal control?” The older lady’s face was filled with concern, but the underlying smile was clearly visible as she took the coat of your arms and hung it up on the employees rack. You smiled at that, rolling your eyes at Miss Kim's way of playing around.“Actually yeah you should, I saw that creepy guy back out there hugging the lamp pole, he doesn’t seem to ferile to be around people” Jeongyeon spoke up behind the cashier as she poured the frothy coffee into the cup, passing it to her customer. You walked behind the counter, grabbing your apron and tying it around your waist, “And I think I saw him at the market the other day. I overheard him talking about the “scary black eyed people he saw coming out of the cafe” i’m slightly concerned for him” you snickered at your friends comment, walking over to the register starting to work as quickly as possible, “Dudes probably on drugs or something, maybe he had one of Miss.Kim’s special drinks as she calls them” Jeongyeon chuckled at that, grinning at the inside joke between the two of you, as she proceeded to clean out the machines.

A few hours passed as your shift came close to an end, the last customer had ordered their drink as you locked up the register for the night, with only the machines left to be shut down. Jeongyeon had left an hour ago, leaving just you and Miss.Kim in the dimly lit shop. You tugged of your apron, replacing your coat on the rack, and began to clean around the cafe before you made your way home. As you swept the coffee beans off the floors, a sigh came from behind you.“y/n, dear, I know you have an early class in the morning but you’re the only one I can rely on with this.” miss Kim began, as she walked around the counter to you, placing her coat over her shoulders and slipping her white gloves onto her hands, “I really have to get home to Insu, apparently even at 15 the boy can’t be left alone without getting into trouble” Kim looked up from buttoning her coat, swinging her purse onto her shoulder, “Anyways, would you be the sweetest angel and lock up the cafe for me? Just make sure the doors are locked and the files are put away and locked up, it should only take another hour ish I promise! I’ll add more money to your paycheck, and it’d really help me out.” The stammering lady finally stopped rambling as she glanced up to you in hopes you say yes.You force a smile onto your face as you peer down to the aging lady, “Of course, Miss Kim, as long as you get home safely to Insu!” you usher the frazzled woman to the door, making sure to keep the smile on your face.“Oh thank you y/n, you’re such a dear!” Miss Kim opened the fairy light framed door, as she began to rush to her small car in the parking lot.

You groaned, tugging out your ponytail, letting your hair cascade to your shoulders. The look of joy was nowhere near evident on your face, as the dark circles under your eyes seemed to be even more prominent. “Alright y/n, all you have to do is lock the doors and you can go. Then you can get home to your warm house with all your fluffy blankets. Let’s get this done.” You grabbed the keys to the file cabinet in the storage room, putting all of Kim’s important documents away into safe keeping in the locked room. As you walked out to the counters you heard the familiar rumbling sound from the world outside. You popped your head up, looking out the large windows in the shop, being met with the large drops of rain pouring down onto the pavement. Streaks of purple lightning could be seen hitting trees in the farther distance, signaling a storm was beginning. As if you hadn’t groaned a lot previously that day, you did it again just for shits and giggles. The frustration that was hidden in you was slowly bubbling up to the surface as the realization that you weren’t going to get home until even later that night set it. How fantastic. Before your luck went downhill like the rain, you remembered the sticker covered laptop you brought with you for break earlier that day. After making yourself a pumpkin chai latte, you settled in the booth against the corner of the moon lit cafe, pulling out your laptop and opening up the new drama you began a few days ago.

The previously filled cup was now halfway empty and becoming cold as you shifted against the cushioned bench, the rain pouring outside not seeming to let up. The clock on your laptop read 12:13 a.m. You had officially been there for another two hours than intended, and from the looks outside it was going to be even longer. Your eyes began to feel heavy as your focus on the drama was fading, drowsiness taking over you as it got later and later. A loud crash from the room behind you quickly awakend your senses, your eyes widening and head shooting up from its position against your laptops keyboard. Not knowing whether to get up and investigate or shrivel up in the corner like a coward, you froze in your spot, waiting for another sound or a figure to come out. This was not how you planned on going out, half asleep and huddled on a bench in your workplace at 12 am. Growing tired of waiting, you gained the courage to seek out the cause of the crash. You stood up from the bench, shutting your laptop quietly and slipping your shoes back on. You silently began to move over to the counters, scanning around the dark shop. The air was tense and the only sound that could be heard was the rain slamming against the walls of the cafe. Your body rounded the corner before your eyes could look past the wall, and the first thing your round eyes set on was the large shadowy figure standing over the coffee pot. A shriek left your drying mouth, as you scrambled away from the figure. The shadow visibly jumped back, dropping the coffee in the process.

“Ah damnit! Look what you made me do, I was excited to drink that!” A deep voice cut through the room, covering up the loud sound of you panting. “Wait a minute, what the hell are you doing here, you shouldn’t be here?!” The mysterious person turned towards your attention as you were splat against the beige wall, hands gripping onto the plant that was previously on the counter. The man sniggered as he looked over you, “what exactly do you think the little leafy plants going to do? Health me to death?” You looked down to the plant that was tightly pressed against your chest, then back up to the owner of the laugh. His eyes were set on you as you scanned over him. His hair was dark and ruffled against his forehead and his eyes seemed to have a vague glint to them as he smirked at you. His shoulders were wide as he stood tall against the counter, his dark jacket covering his broad chest. You made no sudden movements, rather you just continued to stare up at the man, as you fiddled with the plant in your grasp.

“Um okay. Well I’m Taehyung! What’s your name girl who planned on hitting me with a plant?” Taehyung extended his hand over the register, a rather boxy grin etching across his face. Fuck it. You reached out to shake the males hand, slightly smiling (honestly you just look frightened) at him, “y- y/n” The handsome guy shook your hand, locking eyes with you in the process.

“Cool cool, nice to meet you, I think, y/n. I’m just gonna make my coffee if you don’t mind.” Taehyung turned around, releasing your hand, and began to remake the drink you made him drop. Your mouth finally closed after hanging open, all form of moisture gone, Sahara desert maybe? After relishing in whatever just happened with the stranger, your senses finally kicked in.With a shake of your head, you stepped up from the wall and walked over to where the mysterious boy was making his coffee.

“How did you even get in here? I had those doors locked?!” You watched Taehyung pour his coffee into a travel mug, God knows where he found that, the coffee filling all the way to the top of the lid, the froth foaming over the edges of the cup. The white substance dripped onto the countertops, eventually slipping down the cabinets to the floor you JUST mopped.

“Dude cmon I JUST cleaned those floors, that took my pure labor man” you rolled your eyes at the boy who seemed to brush off the fact you just worked to make the floors spotless. Taehyung took a swig of his coffee before turning to face you, walking around the counters to where you were, sitting on top of the light grey counter top. The honey skinned man watched as you reached for a napkin from the nearby booth, wiping away the mess the latter had made. A toothy grin made its way onto his features, something about watching you poor humans work just made him all joyful inside.

After tossing the soaked coffee stained napkin into the trash bin, you scoffed at the sugar packets left around the coffee pot. Seriously, the dude was raised in the depths of Hell I swear, what decent human being doesn’t toss their garbage? The sweet sound of silence filled the air as you clean the rest of the strangers mess, the drowsiness you felt earlier completely discarded. Taehyung clears his throat, setting down his cup, “To answer your question, I got in through the floor. You humans and your pointless questions, how else do you think I’d get in if you locked the door? Do you expect me to crawl through the window, possibly getting my Versace jacket caught in the frame? So weird.” Taehyung sighed, leaning back on the counter, his hands pressing against the cool material. He pursed his head over his shoulder, dark strands of hair falling gently over his eyelashes, as he watched your face crumble with confusion. You uncrouch your knees from your spot in front of the trash bin, facing the weird boy to your left.

“Did you just say you came up through the floor? And I can float through walls too, right?” You boasted with your answer, walking back over to the bench you were in before the ruckus Taehyung caused. The devil himself kicked off the countertop, nearing his eyes at you,

“I don’t know CAN you? You don’t have to believe me, y/n, you shouldn’t even be here right now talking to me in the first place.” He scoffed, taking a seat on the chair opposite of you. You pulled a face at the arrogant man, “last time I checked you’re the one talking to me and I'M the one that works here, in reality I should’ve called the cops ages ago.” Taehyung scowled in your direction, his tone lowering (if that was even possible with this dudes voice dayum) “Call the cops, I really want to see how that works out for you, human.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, rubbing your cheeks afterwords, distaste was evident across your expression. “Human? You’re a human too, dumbass. Seriously what’s wrong with you, you’re the one that came in here, made a mess, and now you’re acting as if you have the rig to be an ass? Bitch please, eat a snickers.” Regaining his composure, Taehyung slouched back in his chair, realizing that arguing with this girl wasn’t even worth his precious time. He had an eternity to live, why spend it arguing with a mere human girl he’ll never see again once the gates open. Taehyung hummed in response, craning his head around to look out the window. The rain was falling down as hard as ever, and the lightning has not ceased up since you last checked it, before you were jolted up from Taehyungs presence.

“It looks like the rain isn’t going to stop anytime soon, why don’t we play this civil until one of us leaves, hm?l Taehyung glances over at you, his eyebrows raising slightly waiting for your response. Your lips pursed together as you sucked on your lip, your baby pink vans tapping against the table leg. As you thought about what Taehying said, your leg still pressing against the table leg every so often, the sudden grip against your ankle causing you to blink up in surprise. “I said to be civil, I didn’t think that meant kicking my leg with your foot every 20 seconds.” You pulled your leg from Taehyungs hand, tucking it behind your other leg in front of you, your cheeks flushing the same color as your shoes.

“Sorry it’s a habit. But yeah cool civil I can do that whatever.” You rested your chin on your palm, leaning against the table. The two of you sat in silence listening to the rain drop against the roof of the café. As the night progressed and the storm carried on, the temperatures lowered to much colder weather than earlier, causing the chilly breeze from the howling wind outside to seep through the cracks in the shops door. The cold current snuck to the table, right along your arms, causing you to shiver and wrap your arms around yourself for some warmth. You stood up from the spot you were glued to the last half hour, brushing the hair away from your eyes. “I’m gonna go turn up the thermostat, I’m unfortunately not cold blooded so I’m getting chilly. Do you need another coffee or whatever it is you drink?” Taehyung peered through the crack in his arms from resting his head on the table, looking up to you. A quiet yeah sure could just be heard from the mumble the yawning boy let out. Your feet threaded across the icey floor boards, you being extra thankful you decided to wear the thick Christians socks your mom bought you, today. After making Taehyung his drink, you set off to the back room to turn up the thermostat, there was no way you were letting miss Kim find you as popsicle stuck to her bench tomorrow. Flicking on the light switch to the room, you immediately dropped the freshly made coffee straight to the floor in front of you, the liquid seeping through the grey carpet instantly.

“TAEHYUNG” the name left your mouth before you could even process it, you, meanwhile, stashing yourself away behind the desk chair by the door. The heavy footsteps of the person behind the name came faster than you thought when you were met with the owner of it stopping in front of the desk. Taehyung’s eyes brightened instantly seeing the cause of your distress, that same boxy grin etched across his face, “about time, they waited long enough this time!” glancing back and forth between the two things, you gawked at what just happened.

“Taehyung” you slowly got up from behind the chair, standing behind the door, “why in the hELL IS THERE A HUGE ASS HOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BOSS’S OFFICE” Taehyung simply turned to look at you over his shoulder, his jackets zipper rattling, “that, my dear y/n, is my ticket home” your eyebrows knitted together though your mouth stayed hung open. “Talk soon, babe.” And with that, the boys golden eyes turned a dark hue as he waved his hand at you before diving into the bright hole on the ground. As you stood there in confusion as to what happened, the hole began shrinking, the bright light it cascades slowly fading, until there was nothing left but the coffee stain you spilt into Miss Kim’s office floor.

“What in the actual fuck just happened.”

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[purplesurveys]

722

How many walls are in your bedroom? It’s your typical four-wall bedroom. What do you think about Fall Out Boy? I like their older stuff and my favorite album of theirs is Folie à Deux by a mile. Haven’t been able to keep up much with their new material, but I definitely don’t hate the stuff they’ve been putting out. Do you know where Guatemala is? I wouldn’t know where to find it on a map but I know it’s somewhere in the middle of North and South America? At least I’m pretty sure? Do you find musicians attractive? I mean being a musician isn’t necessarily a criterion for me to be attracted to someone, but sure I’ve come across good-looking musicians in the past. Do you like hard boiled eggs? They’re okay but I like soft-boiled more.

Do you know anyone named Hector? Nope. Would you move to another country for the one you love? We’ve had this conversation before and she has vehemently scolded me when I said that I honestly would, but idk that’s me. Then again, we’ve never been in that situation so I don’t really know how I’d actually act when it came to that. Do you own an instrument? We have a keyboard, but it’s for everyone’s use. I don’t own any of my own. What do you usually have for lunch? Ever since the quarantine started my family has only been having very late breakfast and dinner, so I’ve technically been skipping lunch for over a month now. But before this whole thing started my lunch would typically be whatever my mom can cook, which is pretty limited – fried chicken, sisig, and giniling with varied soups are her usuals, if I remember right. Ever had a pregnancy scare? I would have absolutely no reason to have one. What do you think about the Purple People Eater? I’ve never heard of this before. What the hell is that looool Are you pale or tan? Tan. What's the weather like right now? It’s windy, just a tad chilly, and comfortable enough during the night which I’m thankful for, but the days are excruciatingly hot. Sometimes it’ll be very humid and the air becomes too heavy and difficult to breathe in, and it usually means it will rain that night, but that’s seldom. I get headaches almost everyday now because of the rapid temperature changes, and it suuuucks because we’ve run out of Biogesic in the house. Do you like cats? No. We have such different personalities and I can tell all of the ones I’ve encountered don’t like me. But for the next few days I’ll probably have a brief soft spot for cats because my sister’s cat, Arlee, passed away last Sunday. We were never close and her tail always got bushy whenever she saw me, but it was the first time I had to deal with a pet cat dying and I was still pretty shattered by it. What's the best part about Wal*Mart? I dunno, I can’t relate. Do you think Akon is amazing or annoying? I think neither of him. I mostly don’t mind him. Do you like the buzz cigarettes give you? I’ve... never gotten a ~buzz from them before? Am I smoking wrong? Lmao. But uh idk it’s weirdly pleasurable overall, and now I’m ever so slightly disgusted with myself for even being able to say that now. Are you a practical joker? Nope, I hate pranks. Do you like pop? This is slang for soda right? No I don’t. I feel like my tongue is being cut off every time I try it out and that always ruins the whole experience for me. What are you looking forward to? Eating the box of sushi sitting beside me. Angela surprised me for my birthday and had the sushi delivered to my house :) Have you ever laughed so hard you couldn't breathe? I’m sure most of us have. What's your favorite band? This question has been everywhere recently. I like Paramore the most but just so I give a different answer for once, I also enjoy alt-J. Do you feel stupid when you spill things on yourself? My mom has conditioned me to think this way, so yes. I feel pretty stupid when I drop or spill anything. Are you excited for summer? In the current global situation? It’s hard to feel excited for anything, especially when experts have recommended closing everything down until at least August. Have you ever snuck out? No. My mom would’ve found out easily. It’s always easier to ask for permission cause she’s never said no anyway. When's the last time you were kissed? :( A month and two weeks. Would you ever eat popcorn & salsa? I’ve never tried them together; I think it’d be a weird combination plus salsa already isn’t my dip of choice anyway. Do you sleep with the television on? Nah but close. I’ll sometimes sleep with Netflx or YouTube playing on my phone, depending on what I feel like listening to before falling asleep. Would you ever want to be able to be invisible? I’ll fantasize about it sometimes, sure. What does your favorite shirt look like? Don’t have a current favorite shirt since I can’t go out anyway. What's your favorite scent? Gabie’s perfume or any freshly cooked food. Skype, Msn, Aim, or Yahoo? All of these are pretty much ancient now. What's your favorite time of the day? These days I’m really loving these hours in particular – midnight onwards. It’s nice to finally be alone considering I’m cooped up in a house with family literally all day, and it’s nice to use the alone time listening to lo-fi and answering a survey or two. Do you hate the phrase ''love ya'' when coming from a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah it wouldn’t sit well with me if it came from Gabie. But I say this regularly to my friends. What do you do when someone in the room has b.o.? Look away if I’m forced to be with them, or just move away altogether if I’m not talking to them directly. What movie would you like to see right now? Not really in a movie watching mood rn. I just watched Two for the Road a couple of nights ago and that’s enough for me, hahaha. How many times a day do you shower? Just once. What do you think of the name Chloe? It’s cute! It’s already common where I live so it’s not one of my top baby name choices, but I really love the name and I think this spelling in particular is cute. Do you like Hollister? When I was 14, sure. I was mostly invested in them because Louis Tomlinson of 1D’s girlfriend used to be a Hollister model HAHAHAHA. These days I largely don’t care for the brand. What's your favorite alcoholic drink? I always go for a Long Island Iced Tea whenever they have it on a menu. Do you like 80's music? Like, 0.0003% of it. Just not my decade for music. Do you have to wear glasses or have contacts? I wear glasses. I choose not to wear contacts. Do you play Halo or Gears of War? No for both. How do you feel about cleaning? I think it’s...necessary lol? I don’t really actively feel anything for it, other than it has to be done every now and then. What do you think of emo kids? I think we should leave ‘em be. Do you like the movie Grease? I don’t like musicals. Do you like singing? Only by myself or if I’m absolutely shitfaced drunk.

What's your favorite Jim Carrey movie? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, WITHOUT A DOUBT. There's a knock at your door at 4 in the morning; what do you do? Welp, given that there’s been a recent disturbance in our village where a construction worker broke into a neighbor’s home, I’ll probably be more wary this time around and just ignore it. I’ll stay alert for a few minutes to see whether they start breaking in after being ignored or simply walk away so that I’m ready to wake up my parents and start screaming if they do the former. Do you like peaches? I hate all fruits. Ever lost a best friend? Not to death, but I’ve drifted apart from a best friend.

Ever heard of a town called Wadena? No. Only Wakanda, heh. Have you ever been to a funeral? I’ve never been to a funeral; I’ve only visited wakes. We were pretty sheltered when it came to death and I would dread the day I’d have to go to my first funeral because I don’t know if I’d be capable of processing the events. What's your favorite sport? Pro wrestling if it counts. If it doesn’t, tennis is my favorite to watch while table tennis is my favorite to play. What do you think about homeschooling? Egh the homeschooled kids where I live always turn out to be a bit weird or not very sociable, so I’m kinda biased against it. I don’t know if homeschooling in other countries can say the same, though. What do you think about French people? I don’t think anything of them. Thankful for their pain au chocolat though. Do you like your parents? Yes. They’ve worked harder than anyone I know to get to where they are now and to be able to provide as much as they have for their three kids. I respect them tremendously for that. I just wish we were more open and expressive and affectionate as a family in general; that would literally solve like 9732 of my problems. And I also wish that my mom wasn’t verbally abusive at times. What do you think about Minnesota? OMG nothing, stop. Do/did you like high school? It had its ups and downs. I’m mostly in the middle about it, like I can’t say I enjoyed it cause then that would betray the things I hated about it, and I can’t say I mostly hated it cause that would invalidate the good times. I did learn a lot though, that I can say for sure. Do you have any Asian friends? All of my friends are Asian. Is it cold where you live? Not even barely. Do you find accents attractive? No. I find most of them difficult to follow which is why I always need subtitles when I view anything foreign haha. Do you hate it when people make spelling mistakes? No, unless they act like a know-it-all but still fuck up their spelling. Would you ever let your boyfriend/girlfriend do your makeup? I would DEFINITELY let them do my makeup – she’d be the first person I would run to hahaha because I don’t know the first thing about applying makeup. Do you like to shop? Not like every week, but it is fun to fall down the rabbit hole and start grabbing clothes heh. How long are you on the computer during a 24 hour period? These days I’m not on it for long, which I’m really happy about! When the lockdown started I was really worried that I was gonna be too dependent on my laptop and never close it for the entire quarantine period, but the opposite has been happening. I really just open it in the evening when I take surveys, so that’s around 3-4 hours. Is money really that important? It is for me, and for everyone else in this third world Southeast Asian country. Have you ever broken a bone? Nope. Who is your favorite family member? My dog. What size bed do you have? Just a twin size, nothing special. Can’t wait to earn on my own and buy me a much bigger mattress. What age do you want to be married? Late 20s, if possible. I want to be ready for kids by the time I hit my 30s.   What's the last thing your wrote? A Facebook message for Gabie. What do you think of your town? It’s mostly uneventful here, but I think I prefer living in a calm city cause I suppose it would be exhausting living in a city that’s so hectic all the time. My situation also gives me a healthy balance of busy and quiet which I think has helped my wellbeing. When's the last time you played hide & go seek? Years and years and years ago. I think it was when we first moved into the house and it was still mostly empty.

[artisticestheticreads]

Summertime Magic VII.

A/N: IT’S N’JADAKA DAY. In this chapter, Y/N and Daka discuss their past during a nice dinner at her place and her dad invites him to the annual family reunion on her mother’s side. Does he have what it takes to get on pop’s good side? 

WARNING: none...well, alcohol, drugs, and some tear jerkers here and super short. SAWWY. ):

SONG RECOMMENDATION: Hold Me By The Heart by Kehlani

 Y/N woke up back home and her hair freshly washed. She grew tired of her locs and decided to make it a wash day. She walked around with her hair wrapped in a red towel and a big t-shirt on in the kitchen. She had a taste for some seafood soul food so she decided to make some seafood mac and cheese with a sweet potato pie for dessert. As the dinner began baking, she went into the bedroom to detangle her hair and put some creams in to make her curls pop. Afterward, she put her hair in a high ponytail like a pineapple style before washing her hands and heading back to the kitchen.

  She looked over at her phone on the coffee table and got an idea; she began typing at her keyboard. Thirty minutes later, she heard a knock on the door and when she opened it, she saw N’Jadaka. He wore a burgundy v-neck with jeans and his Timbs. He had his dreads tossed to the side and his chain on like usual. She watched him walk to the kitchen with his hands behind his back. She turned back to the food as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hey, baby,” she said when he kissed her cheek. “What up girl? I see you let your real hair out and all. Damn, you got a lot of hair.” She giggled until she heard she heard the timer. 

   N’Jakada walked up to Y/N and kissed her cheek, wrapping his left arm around her shoulders. “Daka, I’m tryna cook, baby”, he held her close and kissed her temple. “Don’t be denying my love, woman. You better take my love and better like it.” He started to kiss on her as she giggled and shooed him away. “So, Daka. Since you in here being all lovey-dovey, then you can help me with the cornbread.” He raised his brow and nodded. He started to help with dinner and she tricked him into making iced tea as well. 

  Soon, dinner was ready and everyone made their plates. They sat in comfortable silence until her phone vibrated. She looked to the screen and let it ring but after that, a message popped up. When Y/N rolled her eyes, N’Jadaka asked if she was okay. “I’m fine.” He lifted her chin up to look at her. “Who is it”, he asked with a stern look. She felt looked to the side then to his eyes. “Rodney.” He let her chin go. “Baby Girl, wanna talk about it?” She shook her head and he kissed her neck. “We gonna have to talk about it soon it or later, Y/N.”

“Fine. Rodney cheated on me..badly. We had our own place together and were together for years. I was at Leslie’s house doing hair and when I went home...he was fucking another woman. He, he didn’t hear me come in either so he kept going at it. I was frozen. I couldn’t move. My heart told me to run and hide but my feet wouldn’t let me. I’m not sure why I just stood there but when he turned, all he could do was ask ‘why I was home so early’? He never said sorry, nothing. I sent my younger brother, CJ, and Monte to come to pack my stuff while I stayed with my parents for a while. I tried taking my own life and all. I was on suicide watch, couldn’t eat or sleep like I wanted. I just don’t wanna let that happen again.” 

  He looked over at her and saw a single tear falling down her cheek. He wiped it away before he brought her closer. “Baby Girl, I would never do that shit. You mean a lot to me, and I mean that shit. I know it feels to be hurt, trust me. I lost my folks at a young age, had to go back to Wakanda with my family. Since I was a kid from Oakland, no one wanted to be around me. Then, when I graduated from high school out there, I moved out for college and met a girl. She made me feel like I had someone in my corner but I guess I couldn’t give her what she wanted. I was with her until I went off into the Navy and she said she wait for me but when I come back..” He stopped to clear his throat before continuing. “When I came back, she was six months pregnant. I knew for damn sure, it wasn’t mine. She had fucked a dude from my old basketball team, I was gonna kill him but I couldn’t. I felt like it was all my fault. Like I wasn’t good enough. Until I met you.”

  They looked at one another with small smirks before he said “you ain’t gotta worry about me, princess. When I say something, I really do mean it. Aight”? Y/N nodded and kissed his cheek as he held on to her. “I got you, baby and you got me. No matter what. Now, I’m ready for that pie and I hope you got some ice cream, too.”

“Ya know it.”

~ 

   The next day, Y/N was at the bank putting more money in the bank as one of her daily errands. She decided to go to her future shop for a while. She stepped out her car in a pair of jean shorts, white tank top, and slides that her man bought her. She used her hands to cup her eyes from the sun to look inside for a better look. She had five more clients that week which meant she would be able to get her shop in less than a week. Afterward, Baby Girl decided to drive to her folks' house which was thirty minutes away from the shop. She knocked on the door and patiently waited until a tall 6′2 young man with a faded style hair cut came to the door. He wore a black polo and jeans with tube socks on. “Hey, little sis.”

“CJ, I’m the oldest remember?”

“Yeah, but you the shortest too.” Y/N hit his arm and he hit her back softly. “Ima hurt you”, she said before he gave her a huge bear hug. “Where ma and pa”, she asked as they headed to the kitchen. There stood an older woman who looked like she worked out on her downtime but still a plumpy woman. Her hair was in a low bun and glasses sat her face. “Hey, ma.” The woman turned around and smiled big. “There’s my best friend. My baby is here”, she said walking up to her with open arms. Y/N looked at her mother’s outfit and said “ya think ya grown, huh”; she wore a pair of leggings and a white crop tee with their last name on the back. 

  “Girl, hush. I just slipped in this. We had just got back from the gym and I took a quick shower before I started to clean.” Y/N looked around and asked “Ma, where pa at?” Her mother pointed to the back door and said “where ya think? Him and that damn Lincoln again.” Y/N laughed, kissed her mom’s cheek and made her way to the back. She opened the door to see her father in the car, vacuuming the ground. He was a bigger man but he didn’t let that stop him from working hard for his family. His bald head shined like he had just shaved and his beard had touches of grey. He wore a pair of navy blue slides that Y/N gifted him years ago, basketball shorts and a basic tee. “Hey, pa.” He looked up and said, “Hey, baby”. He struggled to get up but she hurried to him before sitting him back down. “I see you cleaning, Doll again.” He patted the dashboard and said “yeah, got make sure she looks good at all times, baby girl. What made you stop by?”

“I went by to my future shop and I was just out running errands.” She placed her hands in her back pockets watching her dad clean. “How you doing, pa?” He cleared his throat and told her “fine” but not looking at her. “Pa, look at me.” He did with him leaning on his elbows. “I’m will be fine. I got some weight to lose and some more money to get but I hope the surgery will make everything better. I won’t be hurt anymore.” She nodded looking around. She thought about how her father was everything she looked up to. No matter if he was feeling down or fighting the stomach flu, he got his ass up out of bed and got to work to provide for his family. She hated seeing him like this, always have and always will.

  “So, baby girl. When am I gonna meet this nappy head muthafucka you thinking about”, her dad asked and she looked to him with a smile. “I was thinking about you, dad.” She sat on the back steps and he said “yeah yeah. I wanna meet this little nigga. Got you all googly eye and shit. Wanna make sure this little punk ain’t gonna hurt my baby’s heart.”

“Dad, I’m not gonna get hurt again. Promise”

“Mhm, well bring him to the family reunion. Ya uncles, grandma, and every other muthafucka gonna be there.” She rolled her eyes with a smile and laughed. “Okay, but let’s make a bet. If you like him, you gotta make me a whole strawberry cheesecake and if you win, I will make you your own pan of my homemade chocolate cake.”

“Deal.”

  It was the day of the reunion and N’Jadaka was on his way to Y/N’s house since he was spending the night. He grabbed his gym bag, knocked on the door and she opened it with a smile. “Hey, come on. I’m still getting ready.” He stepped in and followed her to the bedroom. They decided to wear jean bottoms with dashiki print tops and some Nikes they bought a couple days ago. She let put her hair in a low ponytail, grabbed everything she needed including the food and drinks they were bringing and were off. In the car, she told him “N’Jadaka, I should let ya know that my family is a little protective. They might give you a hard time but they are all really sweet once they get to know you.” N’Jadaka took her hand as they pulled up to the huge park as Rocky Steady by The Whisperers. “I’ll be fine. I’m a big boy.” He opened her door as a tall guy walked up to them. He wore a Laker Jersey, jeans and some Airforce ones. “There go my big legs”, he yelled out with a chuckle and she turned in excitement. “UNCLE ANDREW”, she hopped in his arms and he knelt down to hug her. “Lord Jesus, I haven’t seen ya in a while. Lookin’ just like ya mom every damn day. How you been?”

“I’m good. How is Vegas?”

“Ugh, baby girl. It’s great. They know how to treat a brotha out there.” She laughed with him and turned to N’Jadaka. “Unc, this is N’Jadaka. My boyfriend.” Andrew held out his hand and shook his as he pointed to him. “The Navy vet?”

“That’s right, sir.” Andrew nodded and patted N’Jadaka’s shoulder. “Good, good. I was actually apart of the US Army back in the 80′s. It’s good to meet ya son.” Uncle Andrew got all the stuff out for them and when they walked to their section, he saw the huge family that Y/N called her own. N’Jadaka looked around to see a group of men playing cards at the park table, hooping and hollering. Little kids ran all over the place with water guns and balloons, and some woman sat at the park benches talking and gossiping. A woman with curly long hair and tan skin walked pass Y/N and can notice that sweet, natural smell anywhere.

“Y/N!”

“Lana”, Y/N said in an excited tone and her cousin ran in her arms. When they separated, Lana saw N’Jadaka and smiled big. “Are you the new man in Y/N’s life?” He nodded with his hand out and said: “nice to meet ya.” She looked at his hand said “I don’t do handshakes. I do hugs.” She gave him a big bear hug and he chuckled. “Daka, this is Lana. Lana lives in Michigan, married and her twin boys are over there playing.” Lana smiled and said “yeah, I missed you so much, cuz. Michigan is okay but it’s not like LA at all. When it’s cold out there, it’s cold as fuck. I’m just glad to be here for at least a week.” Andrew kissed his daughter’s head as they all began walking. Y/N’s dad had a cigar in his mouth with cards in hand with her uncles, Michael, Chad, Winston, Donnie, Richard, and Anthony. Her mom was on the park bench with the women of the family including her grandma and when the women looked over to them, an aunt said “sweet black baby Jesus. Is THAT the man baby girl is dating?” Tasha looked and said “my baby is here and yes, Chanel. Don’t be a perv or Ima cut you.”

“You wouldn’t cut ya own sister.”

“I would for my babies, I will.” Their mother laughed a little as Tasha whistled for Y/N; Y/N saw them and smiled big. “C’ mon, you can meet the Glass Ladies. But real quick, be careful with my aunt, Chanel. Her hands like to wander, my aunt Kendra is a sweetheart and my grandma can be a little bit pushy but she means well.”

“Which one is ya mom?”

“The one in the sundress.”

“That’s ya momma. Thought that was ya sister?”

“Ha, very cute.” They finally were closer to the group when her mom ran to her for a hug. “My baby. How was the drive”, she asked and Y/N said “good. Everyone, this is N’Jadaka. My boyfriend.” Tasha stood back and looked up at him. “Damn, another tall one. Got me feelin’ all short and whatnot.” N’Jadaka chuckled and said, “it’s nice to meet you Mrs. Y/L/N.”

“Boy, call me, Tasha. So, N’Jadaka what do you do?”

“Well, I’m a Navy Vet but I’ll be helping with my family business. We kinda got a lot of money so we opening a few youth centers. I’ll be in charge of the ones out here.” She stood back and said “well, check this out. A brotha helping out the community. The Marathon Does Continue.” He agreed with her as they kept talking and the men heard them laugh. Chad looked up from his deck and said “hm, that must be the young buck.” The men look up with raised brows and her dad took out his cigar. “Mhm, there he goes. Lemme call them over. Y/NNNNNNNNNN.” Y/N turned to him and the guys and he pointed at Daka. She was about to walk over but her dad stopped her with “JUST HIM”. She looked to him and said “don’t get killed. My dad is the hardest one.”

“Baby, I’ll be fine. Ya pops gonna fuck with me at the end of the day.” He kissed her forehead as she went back to the ladies. He stuck his chest out slightly with his hands in pockets. When he got there, the men all looked to him. “What up, cat”, her dad, Thomas said. “I’m good, sir.”

“Have a seat. Join us and grab a drink.”

“I’m good on the drink. I drove but I can still sit.” He sat across the way from Thomas as they handed out the new cards. The men started putting out their small bets and looked to Daka in shock when he said “$20″. Thomas took out his cigar and said “bold but do you know how to play Spades.” N’Jadaka insured him that he can; they began. “So, young brotha. I hear a lot about you. You really from Africa?” N’Jadaka looked at his cards still as he spoke. “I was born in Oakland but my unc took me in when my pops passed.” Thomas looked up to him and realized he had something in common with N’Jadaka. He was also taken in by family when his parent’s passed away. “I see. How you meet my daughter?”

“We were at the liquor store. I was picking up stuff for my homeboy’s crib and I saw her. Some dude was tryna push on her but I had to stop that dude. He was trying get at her and put his hands on her.” The men all looked up at him and Thomas said: “what you mean?”

“Well, Mr. Y/L/N, the dude was trynna get at her, she said nah and before ya know it, he grabbed her arm.”

“And what did you do?”

“Anything a man would do. I got in the middle of it. I could have broken his nose, easily but I wasn’t feelin’ it. Wouldn’t be a good look for any of us. So, I pretended we was a couple. The brotha fleed the scene. Y/N and I talked and that’s how it happened.” The men looked to them and saw Thomas with a start face as the continued. “Look, young man. Ima let you know now. I don’t fuckin’ play when it comes to my family especially with my baby over dere. Ya understand? Ever since she was little, I have always made sure she was good. She, my whole family is my responsibility. So, when a nigga comes into her life. I get a little protective, a little violent if anything happens to her. I take that you heard of Rodney.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, Rodney hurt her badly to the point she wouldn't eat. Couldn’t sleep at night. When my baby girl gets hurt, that’s when I want war. Y/N is my first AND only girl. She is my baby. You got any kids, son?”

“No, sir but I got a baby cousin I always watched over.”

“Then you kinda know then. As a man, we gotta protect who we love. By any means necessary.” He sipped his beer and looked back his cards; N’Jadaka had something to say. “Mr. Y/L/N, I know how you feel but I also know that things happen for a reason. Rodney was a pussy for what he did but maybe it happened because he couldn’t handle her. Y/N got a big ass heart and she smart as hell too. She got ambition, talent and her being beautiful is just a plus. Y/N got a lot of drive, something that 80 % of women ain’t got. Rodney couldn’t handle a strong, black woman but I damn sure can. I care about her way too much to even think about steppin’ out on her. I would be a dumb ass to do that. ith her, I can see so much more. I am very proud of her for being the woman she is now. I’m not tryna kiss up or anything but you did a great job, Mr. Y/L/N. Real talk.”

  Thomas looked up to him then at the others. He nodded and looked back to his cards; still no expression. After they all ate, the kids ran up to N’Jadaka to play with them as Y/N watched. She noticed how well he was with the kids and it warmed her heart so much. She can just imagine how he would be as a father.  At the end of day, they popped fireworks and said their goodbyes. When they got back to Y/N’s place and wore something to sleep in. “So, did ya pops talk to you about us?” She spat out her toothpaste and turned off her bathroom light. “Nope, we talking about my shop, his surgery and all. But nothing about you.”

“Yeah, I ain’t sure if he like me or not. In all my days in the navy, I can’t read him.”

“Baby, no one but my mother can. Don’t worry. He’ll warm up to you eventually.” They kissed a little before laying down and talking some more, falling asleep. All of a sudden, Y/N’s phone vibrate against the end table.

IOU a whole cheesecake, Y/N. Goodnight. 

*𝒯𝒜𝒢𝒢𝐸𝒟 𝐿𝒪𝒱𝐸𝒮*

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[current-mcr-news]

Casual Interactions 10: Full Transcription

John: Greetings from Asbury Park, New Jersey and welcome to Casual Interactions. I'm John "Hambone" McGuire, and today we've got Frank and the Future Violents here in an airstream trailer outside of the Asbury Lanes, and we're gonna talk to you about the album Barriers and a little behind the scenes action about Frank's upcoming video for Great Party, as well as his summer tour that's going on right now. Now this is a little bit different than your traditional episode of Casual Interactions. Unfortunately, Shaun could not be here with us to hang out, he is here in spirit. And Frank, Shaun, and I will be back in the fall with more episodes of Casual Interactions as promised. This is just a little something to get you through the summer blues and hopefully to get you excited to go see Frank on tour right now. Check it out. This is everyone's first time playing at the Lanes since they've redone the lanes.

Everyone: Yes.

J: Anyone play here before?

Everyone: Yeah.

Frank: I've been here before. Yeah, Thursday did a couple shows here.

Tucker: Four nights of it, yeah.

F: Oh damn!

J: No big deal. Sold out every one. 

T: In a row.

F: Did you say fortnight? 

T: Fortnight, yeah. Two weeks worth. 

J: Put me on the guest list, I appreciate it. 

F: Hey, what are you gonna do? 

T: I'm always gonna do that for my friends. 

J: It's a Jersey thing. I call him up, I say.

T: I got a guy down there.

J: "I know your mom." 

F: Thursday, playing on a Wednesday. 

T: (unintelligible) 

F: Oh man. Alright, so flashback to about 20 years ago. 1999, say.

J: -ish, yeah.

F: Ish. Pencey Prep signs to Eyeball Records, right? It's a band that myself and Hambone were both in. At that point, Tucker's in Thursday still, and you guys are on Eyeball. Waiting is coming out, or just came out?

T: Just coming out, I believe. It was like, that day or something, it feels like. I remember it being simultaneous. 

J: You know, for the longest time I thought that that album was actually called Porcelain. Yeah.

F: Originally?

T: I think it might've almost been called Porcelain. 

J: Yeah. It definitely wasn't called Porcelain. 

F: I remember though, being at an Eyeball party. I feel like the best thing about Eyeball house and Eyeball parties, was that every time you went there, you were gifted the new release. 

J: Yes.

F: Even if you had it already, you were still given the CD. So I got Waiting and I remember then going on vacation and listening to it nonstop.

J: Right.

F: In Long Beach Island, and thinking like, "Oh my god, this fucking record's amazing." And then meeting you at a party later on, and being like, "Alright, I wanna be in a abdn with him."

J: It was a game changer, for sure.

F: Yeah. And then shortly after that, meeting Matt because Murder By Death, or at that time, Little Joe Gould.

Matt: Right, it was still, yeah.

F: Was touring, or you guys met them on tour?

T: We met them on tour at a coffee shop together. 

M: No, it was the stinky Anarchist bookstore. 

T: Same thing.

M: Close enough. Much worse smell.

T: Potato / potato.

J: I've heard it both ways. 

M: It was called The Secret Sailor but it was actually known as The Stinky Pirate. 

F: Weird.

J: Where was that?

M: That was in Bloomington. And at that point, Full Collapse was recorded but not quite out yet.

T: Yes.

M: And our friend who had booked the show said, "Hey, this band needs to jump on," and we were like, "Okay." And I think it was Geoff, was like, "I got a friend in Jersey, he's gonna put your record out." We were like, "Nice to meet you, you guys are great, we'll never talk to you again." 

F: That's actually called the Jersey role. That's what we usually do. We always make some plans, then we'll never see you again. 

T: It usually means, "Get away from me," or "Let's actually do this."

M: Turned out it was "Let's actually do this thing."

F: So then I remember, flash forward a couple months later, being at the Eyeball house and Alex who ran the label, and Mark, got a card from you guys in the mail. Like, a handmade card because they had signed you, or said they were gonna put your record out. I mean, at that point it was just handshake deals, but got a card saying, "Thank you. We're so glad to join the family," and everybody was so excited, and then we heard your record, and everybody was like, "Oh my god, we need to get better right now." Because I remember everybody at the label being like, "Oh, we all thought everybody on the label was good, but this is the best record we've ever put out. This is the best record."

J: Banger.

F: Yeah.

T: Aw. 

F: It's true.

J: And then we actually saw you live and then everyone actually started practicing. 

F: Yeah yeah, totally! Yeah.

J: Because, I don't know if you recall when, the first time they came around to the area, they just got thrown on a show at the Loop Lounge. And this is a little ways after Great White burned the club down, but still early enough that Carl and Bruce would let you light things on fire onstage, so Little Joe Gould at the time had a stage show where they'd be blowing fire. They had a little keyboard player, Vincent; a small, unassuming, meek little dude who would actually spit Gene Simmons fireballs, and then the old drummer Alex would light the cymbals on fire. And this is a small club with not the highest ceiling. 

F: And the ceiling's covered in just shit on the wall, Applebee's type things. There's a motorcycle, and there's dust on top of that, and a fish tank with dead fish in it.

T: And all of it was on Alex's head. 

M: Yeah, but stuff that wants to be on fire.

F: Oh yeah, probably, yeah. He's burned me.

J: Almost took out the disco ball one night.

M: We had some close calls in those days. I remember playing at the Fireside Bowl in Chicago and the guys came up and they're like, "Listen, we don't wanna do this, but we have been told if you do the setting shit on fire thing, we're supposed to kick all of your stuff over and blast you with fire extinguishers and you don't get paid." We're like, "That's probably bullshit, but point taken."

F: Yeah, "gotcha."

M: "Cool, we'll take the night off." 

F: Alright. So let's stop there, and go to the weird other thing that happened was Kayleigh, you at this point are in upstate New York.

Kayleigh: Yes.

F: Right? Alright, in college?

K: Where are we going? 

F: Well, you took a class.

K: Oh yeah! Okay! 

F: And Tucker, yeah.

K: I was like-

F: I'm sorry!

K: "At what part of my life am I in upstate New York? What's happening?"

J: Real long way to go to get a superhero origin story.

F: Watch though, this is crazy. So, you're-

K: I went to college at Fredonia State, which is a very unassuming college in western New York, but it's really great for, at the time, it was one of the only state schools that was offering music business as a major. So, I went there to study music business and get a degree. I was touring in a band at the time, and my parents told me if I got a degree, that after I graduated I could come home and tour. So, went to school for music business, and the thing about Fredonia that's really cool, is that it has a great sound recording program because Dave Fridmann lives in Fredonia. So, all the time, there's also this awesome bar called BJ's who everybody used to play there, but all of Dave Fridmann's bands when they were recording would also usually play at this tiny dive bar. Because they'd be working on new material, or just finished a record, or whatever, so I saw MGMT, I've seen Explosions in the Sky, all these- Sleater Kinney.

F: That was like your Wayne Firehouse, basically.

K: It was the coolest little place, and yeah, one day I went to class, my music business class, and Thursday was the guest speakers at my class.

J: And this class was, "Don't take a handshake deal at a party house."

F: "Never sign a man named Matt from Indiana and bring him to Jersey."

T: I just remember going into this class. It was Geoff and I, and you know, everyone looked like babies to me, because we felt like old people in there, but everyone was like, "Get out of here. We don't care about a single word you have to say, you hacks."

F: "Go cry about it, emo kid." 

T: "Shouldn't you be partying instead of teaching this class?"

K: But I think that's also funny. It didn't dawn on me that that actually happened until we were rehearsing at your house. And I said something about Fredonia, and you were like, "Oh, I've been there," and I was like, "Oh my god, you have. And I was there too."

F: I like how Fredonia also sounds just like a place that Dave Fridmann would make up in his head of like, "If I were the ruler of a kingdom, it'd be Fredonia and I would have a music school there and I would bring Thursday in to talk!"

T: Exactly. Fridmann, Fredonia. 

F: Come on.

T: His name is Dave Fredonia.

J: Writes itself.

F: Just saying. 

M: It also sounds like a medication to get you off of something else. 

F: Oh yeah, that too.

M: Like, "I gotta run this cycle of Fredonia."

T: In the commercials, people are riding bikes through a really green field, you know?

Evan: Side effects are deathly diarrhea. 

T: So much diarrhea in one of those two bathtubs on the hill for no fucking reason. That's the one.

J: Yeah, but you know what? You could climb mountains and kayak.

T: Probably after the diarrhea. You do what you gotta do.

J: One would hope.

F: Alright, last circle of weird coincidences. So, My Chem goes on tour and Murder By Death plays with us at Club Krome, right?

M: Yes.

F: With Vox.

M: That was the Halloween show.

F: Halloween show. And Evan is at that show. That's also the first, I don't know if that was the show or the venue where your first band, On Arms, we had you guys open for My Chem.

E: That's right.

F: Was that the same show?

E: I don't think so. I don't think that was the first one.

F: But it was the same venue.

E: It might've been Starland. 

F: Oh shit.

E: It was right when you guys released Three Cheers, I think.

J: No, it was neither one of those clubs. It was the Birch Hill Nightclub.

F: No, we never got the play that because Otter took a shit downstairs and it blew the fucking pipes up. And then they flooded the whole room and no one could, you couldn't play there for months. It was crazy! It was like the dead of winter. Alright, so in the dead of winter, we show up and it's a long drive, it was like 20 minutes or whatever, so Otter's like, "I gotta go to the bathroom." So he runs down to the downstairs and he takes a poop, and he flushes and it blows the- it explodes the entire pipe system at the venue. So it floods the entire downstairs and they have to close the club down.

Geoff: Hey guys.

F: Hey Geoffy.

J: Hey buddy!

F: We're talking about history.

G: Oh I love history.

J: And poop stories!

F: So yeah, for the longest time, you couldn't play Birch Hill Nightclub anymore, and what was the venue attached to it?

J: That's what I was thinking of.

T: Was it Stingrays?

J: Stingrays, yeah.

T: There was a two room deal.

J: What was the show that we did I Am A Graveyard before My Chem, when Gerard came out and did the big Winston Churchill Iron Maiden intro?

F: Yeah, that was weird. That was a one-off thing I think.

J: Either way, at that time, Otter was subsisting on a diet of nothing but Popeye's fried chicken so you can understand how what was gonna happen, was gonna happen.

F: And Fredonia. High dose of Fredonia. Oh man. So that's over 20 years, that's how this band is kinda starting to form, right? And then, I guess flash forward to 2017, 2018? No, alright, let's flash forward to 2016 because we get into an accident, and then shortly after that, we ended up starting touring again, and we go on tour with Dave Hause and the Mermaid, and that's how we really meet Kayleigh. And our first show is in Williamsburg, a music hall in Williamsburg. I remember watching Dave's set, especially seeing Kayleigh playing and how she sings and all that stuff, playing basically everything on the stage, she would just run around and play everything. I was like, "Holy fuck!" These are the types of people, getting to see Thursday, getting to see Murder By Death, and the way that these people in thsi room thought about music. How it wasn't just like, "Oh, I'm just following a guitar part," you know? You see a performance where it's like, "There's three guitar players onstage. They're all playing the same thing. That's so weird. Okay, I guess nobody wanted to sit down." But you know, the idea that you're creating a soundscape with a bass, you know? Or you're playing a melody on the drums that's like, that's the hook of the song. Even though it's very rhythmic, there's a melody there. Same thing with Kayleigh, her solo records and the stuff that she was doing with Dave, that's the stuff that I saw, it was just like, "Whoa, these people think on a different level," you know? So, I started those other projects and had Evan in with the Cellabration and the Patience, and I always knew if I can, I never wanna be in a band without Evan again, you know what I mean? So that's just always gonna happen. But how do we fill this out, how do we do this, get to the next step, next level, and have people in it that are really pushing the envelope and inspiring you on a daily basis? And it just so happened that at the end of 2017 or beginning of 2018, everybody was going to end up being free to do some songs. Or at least Tucker and Matt and Evan were, and then we found out later on that Kayleigh might be free to come in and write some stuff with us.

J: It's awesome. I know from an outsider perspective, watching you go through the different bands. I'll tell you, Evan's great because no matter what band of guys you got backing you up, I always know it's Evan playing guitar. 

F: Right, yeah.

J: You're like the secret weapon. You know? He's like the secret sauce. Like the In 'N Out sauce except we can get you on the east coast which is nice. You know? But I mean it's a cool thing because having written a record, I've written a bunch of music with you, and then watching you write the songs for My Chem, because you were pretty writing them in my apartment.

F: That's true.

J: I know what it was for you to strike out on your own and do the Cellabration and do the Patience, but always kinda having that really nice constant which is Evan. 

F: Yeah.

J: And then I also remember sitting there over breakfast, me, you, and Shaun. By the way, Shaun couldn't be here tonight, he had something else to do. Anyway...

F: He got him so good, look at him!

J: We were having breakfast and he was telling me, he's like, "Yeah, I'm starting up a new thing," and I'm like, "So who you got?" And he goes, "Well of course Evan. But I think I can get Tucker, I think I can get Matt," and I popped. I was like, "Really?!" And I've compared it to getting the stacks rhythm section, like the MG's backing you up. And I was psyched.

F: And the MT's.

J: Yeah, the MT's.

T: I came in cheap, four million.

J: Print some t-shirts, make some money together.

T: Five grand.

J: And I mean, I heard the songs too. I came over to your house and we hung out.

F: That's right! You sat in on one of the early recording sessions.

J: I sat in on one of the early writing sessions. And he's like, "There's this girl, I wanna bring her on, I think it's gonna be the difference maker," and it was. You came in.

F: I agree.

J: Like the secret weapon.

F: That was the final brick in the wall. It was like, "This is really something awesome and special, but I know what it can be and how incredible it can be," and that was bringing Kayleigh in. 

J: And I'll tell you the Stomachaches and Parachutes both are incredible records.

F: Thank you.

J: But this is the first record that I've heard you do in a while where I feel like you were writing with other people. Other people who were not just sitting there being like, "Alright, you play this, you play this, you play this," like everyone brings their own their own unique, special thing to the party, and it's fucking awesome. 

F: I agree. That's the thing too is like, this is the first record where people are writing in a room, they're familiar with the songs, they're writing the parts that they wanna play, and really knowing what the song needs, you know? So like, they're writing for the betterment of that song, and then going into the studio and they're the ones that are playing it, live in the room, to tape. That, we've never had before. You know?

J: Now how many songs did you have written before you started bringing other people in? Not counting Evan because you guys work together a lot, but you know, how many skeletons did you have before you started bringing people on board?

F: Well I had a list of like 21 skeletons, a lot of which we never even touched. And then that would kinda be filtered out. I'd bring one in, I think the first one we worked on was Moto Pop. And that was, "Alright, we're on a roll here." There's songs like Medicine Square Garden that started as a kind of an idea I had written down on paper but I couldn't, I didn't have the full idea of what the song should look like. I couldn't be like, "Oh it's E, F, G," it wasn't like that. It was more like, "I had this idea of a song where it feels like this, and the guitar line sounds like this and follows the vocal but it doesn't make sense so I can't just write it down."

J: So what was the song when you brought everyone in, where you're like, "Fuck yeah, this is it, we got something."

F: I think Medicine was the first time it was like, "Whoa, we did it."

T: That was like the end boss, that song.

F: Yeah, I agree.

T: It was like, "If we can conquer the initial structure of that one."

F: "Then we can do anything." Yeah.

M: I think the first time I came over, I think Young And Doomed was one of the first ones that we worked on just because it's like, we can get something mostly nailed down with that but when we got into Medicine, I remember that one was giving me fits, because it was like you were describing it and I don't know what my part of that is yet. And for the first couple of days it was like everything I tried to play sounded like Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi or something.

F: Yeah yeah yeah!

M: And this is not what it's supposed to be, but it's the only thing my stupid hands do.

J: You are in New Jersey.

M: Right.

J: It's contagious.

M: Maybe I'm trying too hard to sneak in under the Jersey radar.

T: The gift that keeps on giving.

M: But when it clicked it felt like such a victory, you know? It was like, "Okay, we can do it."

J: How about you, Kayleigh? When was the moment for you?

K: I think that what Matt was describing was pretty much my entire- because I came in late to the project because I was busy for the first half of the year and then-

F: She's been on tour for three years straight.

J: Oh yeah, she's a musician's musician. You're even sneaking off to do a show on one of your days off.

K: I know. Surprise, yeah. Surprise show.

J: That's fantastic.

K: But doing multi-instrumentalist work, I think it's I'm a glutton for punishment in the best and worst ways because I kind of approach this project like I don't know what- not only do I not know what to play, parts wise, I don't know what instrument would be best for this song. And also kind of trying to figure out the groundwork that was the bones of all of these songs was already so put together, and so awesome, that I was almost- it really challenged me where I was like, "I can't fuck this up, what am I gonna- what kind of sprinkles am I gonna put on top that's gonna make it, can I make it better? Am I gonna make it better?"

F: What's funny I think is you tread carefully on that stuff because you don't want to step on toes like that, but you're initial instincts are always so great, and make, at least me, think about songs in different ways, and that's why it was so amazing having you come in. To jump forward again, having a new band play old songs is kinda crazy. And then also bringing in musicians that play different instruments is like, "Wow alright, now you have to really reinvent songs off Parachutes and Stomachaches for the live show." So like, she'll be like, "Oh, I was originally thinking violin on a song like Veins," and I was like, "Wow, that's so fucking crazy!" I never would've thought to do that. But now, I can't not hear that song without that instrumentation, it's crazy.

J: So let me bring it back a second. You know, a lot of musicians play a lot of their songs and their hits for years and years and years, and it's almost taboo to kinda try to reinvent that. I mean, we remember the Bob Dylan incident at the Tropicana where we didn't remember-

F: That was so weird.

J: We didn't know a single song until he got to the choruses, but how does it feel for you to have new life being breathed into these songs.

T: He just grazed right over that, by the way.

F: I love it.

J: I'm good at what I do, Tucker. I'm a goddamn professional!

T: You really are!

F: I love it. That to me, having that ability and opportunity to be creative on the road as well as in the studio, that fucking rules, you know? To know that- here's the thing that I attribute that to, that Lou Reed thing where he would put out a record and then you'd go see him, and that shit was different already because he was already onto the next thing. I think that you have to do that type of shit.

J: Now are you pulling out some songs that maybe you would not have played on this tour because it's more fun now with everybody?

F: Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I've put together a list of songs that I thought would be really fun to do with this band, and that's what we've been doing. But I think now, seeing how those things have changed and how much better we've made then, I would like to kinda go back and look at other stuff. But also at the same time, you run into this project, all you wanna play is new stuff.

J: Of course. What old song do you think is the best, is better now having the new crew?

F: Man. I like Veins with the violin in it, it's fantastic to me. I think Let You Down, now Kayleigh's playing an acoustic on there, I've always wanted that rhythmic section to that. We've been doing this rendition of Miss Me with just acoustic guitar and violin and I think that's really really fun. 

E: Viva with the violin too sounds incredible.

F: Viva, oh my god! Yeah, that might be my favorite.

J: Kayleigh, how many instruments do you play?

K: Pretty much violin, guitar, piano. But then the mandolin is the same as the violin, so that makes- that adds that to it. I play the ukulele but who doesn't?

J: That's right.

K: And then there's that whole assortment of keyboard based instruments that if you know how to play piano, you can pretty much weasel your way around.

J: You would think that ska bands would've figured out getting a multi-instrumentalist years ago, instead of having like nine guys.

F: Eight guys, and one guy dances.

J: Four dudes, Kayleigh, and a dancer who also sells merch.

F: But yeah, I don't know.

T: The Merch Pit.

F: I'm having so much fun, seriously. I will say this too. In addition to the playing, which is beyond anything expectation I had, I've never laughed more than in this band.

J: That's awesome.

F: It hurts your lungs.

T: Oh totally.

F: It's kind of amazing, yeah.

J: How was the first leg of the tour, speaking of people you're gonna laugh with, with James Dewees?

F: Oh my god.

E: He is such a character. 

J: Did he make you watch a lot of Seinfeld?

E: Well, we were going to originally! I actually brought-

K: I'm not sure who wanted to watch Seinfeld, James or Evan.

E: That's true. Apparently, James had all of the episodes on his iPod. 

F: Yes.

E: He would just watch them on his iPod. Which a screen of an iPod, old school iPod classic, is what? Two inches by an inch and a half? 

J: Yeah.

E: And he still watches all of them?

J: All the TV he needs.

F: I feel like James has pigeon sight, where he can see in 360 and everything looks big. I think like an iPod screen, that's fine. 

J: I think all the candy he eats helps him focus.

E: Yeah exactly. But I had brought all of the episodes on DVD with us, but of course, this bus that we just had didn't have a DVD player!

J: That's old technology.

E: I know!

T: This stack of shit would just get moved to this side, to this side, to this side.

J: It was a lot of seasons!

T: Yeah.

J: Oh man. So that first leg was James, this next leg of your tour, you're going over to Europe first with Laura Jane Grace.

F: Yes. Yeah, and The Devouring Mothers. Yes, we get to hang out with Atom and Mark Hudson, it's gonna be fun.

J: And then when you're back in the states hitting the west coast, it's when Geoff.

F: Geoff, yeah. Who's actually playing tonight as well.

J: Fantastic. 

F: So we're going to do the UK. We got a couple of festivals actually happening next week. We're going a UK festival, we're going a couple of shows in Russia, Kiev, and then a Czech festival, and one other that I can't think of.

E: Back in the UK.

F: Another UK. And then we'll be back here to do a festival in upstate New York.

J: Cool.

F: With Taking Back Sunday and the Menzingers. 

K: Oh, that's right.

F: And Glassjaw, right? And then we do the west coast Warped Tour, and then we do our shows with Geoffy, and then we go back to the UK to do it with Laura Jane. And then, well, before that I think, our video for Great Party is gonna come out.

J: Oh cool!

F: Which I'm really excited for because you're in it too.

J: I'm totally in the video! 

F: I know! And it's really good.

J: Yeah. It's a super fun video and we super top secret did it Memorial Day weekend, right? 

F: I know. Which I can't believe we got the venue for it. We did it at a Masonic Lodge in Clifton on Memorial Day weekend, and I feel like, even though that's not tied in with veterans and stuff like that, I feel like those things are usually rented out.

J: I thought those guys would be at barbecues, to be honest with you, but they were like, "Yeah, we'll clean up after you guys. We made coffee."

F: It was rad. 

T: They were like, "We'll watch you clean up."

F: But I mean the directors, David was amazing, and our friends from Surfbort came out, Sean and Dani.

J: They were amazing.

E: Yeah, they were awesome. 

F: Dude, that was the thing too. When I wrote the treatment for the video, the thing that I saw in my hand was Dani's face, really, setting this bomb off.

M: And if you don't know what that face looks like, it'll all make sense when you do.

F: Yeah exactly. That smile, it's all about that devilish grin, it's awesome. It's beautiful.

J: It's gonna haunt your dreams.

F: Yeah, she's so unique and just so amazing.

J: Have you seen the finished product yet?

F: I have, yeah. It's done. I think it comes out on the 18th or something, or the week of the 18th. So yeah.

K: Awesome. 

F: I'm very excited.

J: Very cool. I mean, I'm not sure what this day this is gonna drop, but it's gonna drop something around then. So you're either going to get excited because the video's coming out, or be excited because now you've seen the video and you know what we're talking about, and you've seen the face.

F: My kids are excited too because they're in it, but for a split second, so they were really excited to be in it, and then they saw it and they were like, "What the fuck! I'm not in it for long enough!" I was like, "Well, it's not your video." 

J: "They cut out my stage!" 

T: "You write a song."

F: Yeah.

J: "I thought the kids stayed in the picture! Not this one."

F: "Hey, I told you to clean up your room."

T: They did write a song, Best Friends Forever and it's pretty good.

M: Write another one.

F: Another one!

T: "It's not even on an album, that's on an EP." 

J: I think their college funds have been doing fine on royalties.

F: "Write an album track. See how easy it is."

T: "Bring me a single."

J: Alright, so this was Casual Interactions with Frank Iero and the Future Violents. Definitely check them out if they're coming to your town on tour. You will absolutely not regret it. You're gonna have the time of your life. 

F: Sick. 

J: Party on, dudes.

F: Great job.

E: Love y'all!

K: Thanks!

T: Thanks, Hambone.

J: Bye! 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #232

“i’ve never bought a suit before in my life, but when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice.”

Do you have trouble typing when the room is dark? No, I don't look at the keyboard. When’s the last time you had a headache? I had an abomination of a three-day-long headache before my cycle like a week or two back or something. How often do you take surveys? Not as much as I used to now that I actually have school, but occasionally. What did you last write on paper? I think some items to Mom's shopping list? Does anything on your body hurt? No. What do you currently hear? "Bullet" by Hollywood Undead. I can hear cars outside, as well as Bentley biting himself incessantly. Sounds gross. Do you have any goals you’re trying to fulfill? As for in the near future, hopefully - I'd pray if I believed in it by this point - start losing weight again. Grow more in my photography, 1.) because I want this so badly and 2.) there's no way I could handle the stress of school and a "real" job but we're in serious need of money right now. I'd really like to make progress with driving too, but I haven't been able to in months because a headlight in broken, the license plate or whatever is expired, and the car can't pass inspection, so Mom doesn't want me at the steering wheel and get pulled over for it. Being on the borderline poverty line is A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you ever do the dishes? I'mma be real, real honest here. Not really. Reason being we don't have a dishwasher and I am super queasy actually hand-cleaning dirty dishes, I get frustrated because I feel I don't clean them well enough (being a germaphobe is also fun), and my OCD goes absolutely insane trying to play Tetris with the drying rack thingy. All that being said, it's my least-favorite chore. At your house, does everyone eat together as a family? No. We started to drift apart when I was... maybe a pre-teen? When did you last have butterflies in your stomach? Sara decided she wanted to try making out and I was fucking terrified of going too far or scaring her. Are you independent or dependent? I'm embarrassingly dependent. Who last made you smile? My pup. How did you find Bzoink? Taking surveys for so long. What’s your dream job? If travel and heat weren't considered, a meerkat biologist. Do you brush your teeth twice every day? Just once. Do you have a pool? No. Are the streetlights on? We don't have streetlights on my road. When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? Not unless I'm really cold. Do you trust anyone, besides yourself, fully? Sara. I would say Mom, but I'm entirely aware she's lied and made stories up about Dad. Do you believe the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”? No. I've never really understood this. People change. Are you in any advanced classes at school? I bypassed the freshman English class, yeah. Well, is that considered "advanced?" I don't believe it's like an AP course or anything, but it's not a class I'm supposed to be taking as a freshman, so??? How often do you eat your favorite food? Every once in a while. Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes) Probably. What was the last TV show you watched? Uhhhh I think it was all the way back when Colleen and I were still friends and we checked out The Good Doctor. Or it was either Parks and Recreation with Sara and her family or Avatar: The Last Airbender, also with Sara. Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? The beach with Colleen, her husband, and their son. Well, does that count since it was only for a day? Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don't have a job. What’s your favorite type of donut? It varies between chocolate frosted, glazed, and plain. What do you usually eat for breakfast? If I even eat, it'll probably be like, a meal replacement shake or Pop-Tart. Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Surprisingly. When was the last time you went out for dinner? Like at a sit-down restaurant? Hm. I think it was El Tapatio with my mom and Nicole maybe near two months ago. What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? Idr, something to Mom. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? Like zero, usually. Have you cooked anything today? What was it? No. Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? Yeah. I'm not sharing all their names on the Internet, and besides, I don't even know most. What does your shampoo smell like? I don’t know. What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? I don't remember, even though I got out of the shower like an hour ago. Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? No, I barely ever watch movies. Why did you last go see a doctor? The primary reason was for my night terrors. Do you know how to play Minesweeper? No. What was the last thing you bought online? A new heat lamp for my snake Venus. Where do you usually park your car? I don't have a car, but Mom parks in the driveway behind the house. Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? It's put in the mailbox on the other side of the road. Are you more logical or creative? Creative, I'd say. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Usually. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Pretty much never. Can you curl your tongue or do anything else cool with it? I can curl it a little bit, but my snake eyes piercing prevents me from doing it all that well. What was the last job interview you went to? For a deli position at a Food Lion. Got the job, lasted not even two hours. :^) What embarrassing music do you listen to? I'm not really *embarrassed* of any I listen to. Just kinda surprising to admit to some people sometimes. What’s your biggest talent? Writing, I guess? What’s the best gift you ever received? My dog. What fear would you like to overcome? More than ANYTHING? Probably being judged in a negative way or being seen as "weird," and not in a good way. AvPD is a bitch and makes me less open about myself (mostly just irl, but yeah), which I REALLY don't like. Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? Hm, hang-glide, maybe. I dunno. What habit would you like to break? Procrastinating, lately. Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I can think of a few, but here's the one that had the most biggest effect on me, I think. There was one time Jason and I were kissing, I told him I loved him, and he whispered, "I love you too, wife," before going back to kissing me. Remembering that still hurts, a lot. I know now us separating was for the better, I don't want someone who doesn't have faith in my strength, just the memories like those from the time I was convinced our love story was a fairy tale are very painful. Just typing it caused a discomfort in my stomach. What’s your worst personality trait? Laziness, probably. Or impulsiveness. Have you ever cheated on a test? No. What’s your favorite karaoke song? I don't sing karaoke. Do you know anyone with two different colored eyes? I don't believe so. What was the last thing you bought for someone else? Sara's anniversary present, which was a pillow that said something along the lines of, "Hug this pillow until you can hug me" or something. Do you like hot fudge sundaes? My fat ass can't even associate with you if you don't like HOT FUDGE SUNDAES????????????? Do you like to sleep a lot? It's funny, I tend to like naps during the day, yet I don't look forward to trying to go to sleep at night. It always takes longer, and there's also the possibility of just waking back up and struggling to fall back asleep for the rest of the night. Is there a garbage can in the room you’re currently in? No. Have you ever been in a class that you thought you were too smart for? I don't think so. Can you type without looking at the keyboard? Yeah. We had a mandatory typing course in middle school, so I learned it exceptionally well. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Who was the last person you apologized to? Maybe Sara? Do you throw things when you’re frustrated? NO. I am very conscious of not expressing my anger with physical violence of any sort. How much do you get paid at your current job? N/A Are your friends mostly older than you or younger than you? I think younger. Would you ever get a pet tarantula? Nah. Do you want to dye your hair? Ugh, you have no idea. What’s your favorite zoo animal? Meerkats, duh. Is there anything in your room you’d be ashamed to show to your parents? I'm VERY self-conscious of my artwork, so I'd be mortified if my mom saw my drawings, even though there's nothing "wrong" with them. I'm just shy about 'em. Have you ever accused someone of cheating when they weren’t? Yeah, hence the end of that day-long relationship. Him cheating was a lie from his insane ex, but at the time, I just believed it, but it was absolutely for the better. He wasn't for me. I really shoulda just listened when my art teacher literally took me aside one day and warned me about him. Wha'd'ya know, he wound up on house arrest or something similar, and who the hell knows what he's done by now. When was the last time you played hide and seek? I played with my niece and nephew some months ago. Don’t you hate when people stare at you? Fuckin' yes. I'm too self-conscious for that shit. Have you ever accidentally caught yourself on fire? Well thank god no. Are you Jewish? No. Does anyone copy the things you do? No. Is your dad still alive? Yes, yay. Have you done anything lately that you instantly felt was a mistake? Possibly. What melts your heart/makes your knees weak? Watching Mark with kids causes me severe physical pain. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? Freaky. Parasite Eve first made me think "oh shit what if this could actually happen," and I've also watched a Shane Dawson video about it, and the idea of it possibly being a real thing is absolutely terrifying. How many dryer sheets do you put in an average load of laundry? I think Mom uses one or two? I dunno. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? No. What is your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream. Do you have a sexual fantasy? ...What is it? There's probably something I could think up. Maybe like bang on a church pew or something lmao idk. Who was the last person to insult you? I'm not sure. What color is your brush/comb/whatever? White. Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when its hot in your room? It is almost entirely impossible. Have you ever purposely given someone wrong directions? No, but then again, it's not like I even give them. I have a horrible sense of direction and don't know street names, highway numbers and locations... What is your favorite thing to do with your best friend? I'm not sure. Everything is fun with her. Are you easily offended? It depends. In most contexts, no. Have you ever acted as tour guide for friends/relatives from out of town? Not really. If you were an anime character, would you be a yandere or a tsundere? HAHAHA I AM PAINFULLY A YANDERE. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? No, because I like to see. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Ha ha, this reminds me tho, I can't recall if he did it once or just WANTED to, but my brother may have gone into one, yelled "BINGO," and immediately left. Did your parents ever collect any magazines they didn’t want you to read? Uhhhh no. I'm quiiiiite sure neither of my parents had those. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? No. I probably would if I had excess money and really believed in it, though. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? Because Jason's favorite thing in the world was the Joker, seeing purple and bright green together is one I just prefer not to see. I wouldn't call it a PTSD trigger, like I don't freak out about it, it's just like an "ugh ew" sorta thing. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? No. I cringe 90% of the time when they pop up. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. Have you ever had to provide an alibi for something? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I have a Batman one I'm trying to shrink back into that says something like "I wish I was Batman but I'm poor and hate fighting" & I love it. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Idk off the top of my head. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? Cats, I think? If so, what did you do with it? Fed it with the other cats, and I'd assume Mom would've called the owner's number if given. If you could grow a beard or a mustache, would you? I'm a cisgender female so like... Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? I'm proud of just how deeply and genuinely I care about people. And my writing and photography, mostly. What does the nicest dish set you own look like? All our dishes are literally the same, and they're ancient. I think they were my grandma's but given to Mom. Pattern's worn and everything. They're ceramic with a floral design. Why did you stop working at the last place you were employed? I absolutely cannot be in a position of responsibility or customer service, and the environment was way too busy. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? I... don't know how I would react? Picturing it, I first feel like I'd be so happy for him, but I KNOW my PTSD would act up at some point shortly after and I would probably end up in a bawling ball (lol "bowling ball" that wasn't intended sorry) because "that was supposed to be me," but then I'd be fine again after I got all that emotion out. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in front of you? Someone at school. You can smoke outside, and it's the one thing I don't like about my college. Are you very close to your siblings? Not nearly as close as I wish we were. How often do you watch the news? Never. Do you have a dishwasher? No. What is the worst lie you’ve ever told? I don't like talking about it. Well, it wasn't a lie, but I stretched the truth because anxiety's a goddamn asshole. Where is the last place you drove to? I drove to, probably home. What is your favorite Disney movie? The Lion King. I may even like the live-action remake more, but I can't say with certainty. Do you have a fan in your room? Yeah. What color is your lampshade? I don't have a lamp. Do you like to wear belts? Not anymore. What is the most expensive electronic in your room? This laptop. Only a year old and yet it's so abused with how much it's used. Are you involved with any charity work? I wish I was in the position where I could, anyway. Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No. Have you ever hatched an egg? OKAY SO! I remember in elementary school, maybe like 1st grade or something, we incubated a chicken egg and hatched it. I can't remember where it went. Do you chew gum on a daily basis? No, I rarely do. What brand shampoo do you use? Suave. When is the last time you went to an amusement park? Years ago shortly before the breakup with Jason and Dillon. Or Dustin. Whatever his name was. Do you have a garden shed in your backyard? Nope. Are you obsessed with anything? Y'all know I don't know how to love in moderation, not even remotely. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I hate diet, and the artificial sweetener also gives me serious headaches. Who was the last person you hugged? My mom, maybe? What did you do when you found out Michael Jackson died? We were swimming in the pool while Mom or Dad was grilling, idr. What’s your best friend’s favorite band? Pink Floyd, Evanescence, and Within Temptation. What’s your favorite kind of beer? Never tried it, don't want to. How do you get songs out of your head? Binge it 'til I'm tired of it lmao. Have you seen all the High School Musicals? I've only seen the first two. Do you dress appropriately for your age? I don't know? Probably not? Do "normal" 23-year-olds wear graphic tees? What’s your favorite word? "Serendipity." What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? A serious stomach virus that made me puke all the food I'd eaten since birth. Do you take compliments well? Of course I appreciate them, but I get shy. Are excessive piercings sexy or trashy? Well they're definitely not "trashy," but SERIOUSLY excessive ones, I don't usually find attractive. But it really depends on the person, the size, and where. What do you put on toast? Cinnamon, sugar, and butter. The Southern cinnamon toast. Have you ever watched Fear Factor? I LOVED it when I was younger, and I still enjoy it if I happen to see it. Joe Rogan was one of my earliest crushes, too. How many songs do you have on iTunes? Over 1k. What song reminds you of summer? MAN I remember as a kid, back when I liked country, my sisters and I loved "When The Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney. Big summer vibes. Has a bird ever flown into your window? OH WOW I don't think so, but I do remember one flew into the car's grill when I was very young and going on a trip. Safe to say it died.

[pasteltofus]

1 Year of Learning Korean

One of the most popular questions I’ve gotten since coming back from Korea is: Are you fluent in Korean now??*

*Spoilers: I am not. 🙃

Looking back, I probably would have become more conversational if I had just done a 3-month intensive program. Although, compared to just learning by myself in the Bay Area, being in Korea definitely gave me more opportunities and motivation. I was placed in the high intermediate class for orientation (switched to low intermediate), but I would say that I’m now truly at an intermediate level. I think my Korean’s more or less the same as my Japanese (which has regressed a lot, and I only took 3 semesters in college) but with very shaky foundations. 

Anyways, here’s a brief timeline of what I did this grant year. Let’s go~

[Initiate lock n’ load montage]

July

Korean Intensive Program (8-12pm, 1-2pm M-F) 

Because of how the program was structured, I didn’t feel like I learned very much. This is partly why my foundation is so full of holes...we skipped around here and there. 

August

Korean Intensive Program

September

Korean was put on pause due to troubles adjusting to homestay

October

Occasionally did a few chapters of Billy Go’s Korean Made Simple at school 

Studied some Korean vocab 

November

???

December

I don’t think I studied Korean at all

January

Got a wakeup call when I spent 5 minutes trying to read the back of a sign at a smoothie shop and realized how slow I was at reading

February

Vocab grind (1000 Essential Korean Words), plan was to finish by the end of March. Two weeks of intense vocabulary cramming on Quizlet (did nothing in the end lol don’t try that)

Bought the Real Life Conversations Intermediate book

Studied Korean in Kpop lyrics

Started a side coding project to help my touch typing (K-pop lyric typing game)

March

Memorized dialogues from Real Life Conversations book with Lauren

Improved reading skills slightly by listening and following along with the audio recordings that come with the book

Read through the dialogues with the Korean literature teacher in my gyomushil

Continued to learn song lyrics

Wrote sentences with each new vocabulary word, got my co-teacher and the Korean literature teacher to check them (<-this was probably the most helpful game changer...it helped a lot with my spelling too)

Continued working on the K-pop typing game

April

Stopped learning new vocab at around Chapter 11 of Essential Words, focused on retaining old vocab through Anki flash cards

Finished the Go! Billy Korean Made Simple book that I bought ages ago (tbh it was too easy for me at this point but I was just too lazy)

Finally sat down and “learned” Korean verb conjugations (I’d just been going by gut instinct before…tbh I still kind of do 😅)

Kind of dropped the typing game after finishing the MVP 😅but I’m gonna try to finish it up now that I’m back

May

Started to panic about leaving Korea in 2.5 months but still sucking at Korean

Signed up for private lessons once a week for 90 minutes (My tutor asked me to give her a shout out. Her name is 서영심 (bwv830@gmail.com). If you’re in the Cheongju/Ochang area, she comes to you! She’s very professional and you’ll get your money’s worth.)

Started at the intermediate book that focused on grammar

Learned ~5 grammar points every week

Started writing and reading a lot more and actually seeing how words are spelled. The first time I saw 여기--a super common word (yogi) that means here--written out I thought it was so strange...not that I had thought it was 요기 (also pronounced yogi) but I just didn’t have a visual of it in my head, I guess.

June

Depressed about lack of improvement

Continued with private lessons but felt like I wasn’t really retaining the grammar dump from each week

At the very least, Korean homework kept me on track and made me practice even when I didn’t want to

Started Anki again since I hadn’t actively studied vocab since April.

An old K.Will song that I hadn’t listened to for a long time came up and I realized I could suddenly understand the lyrics. That was pretty cool and one of my small win moments.  

July

Feeling pretty hopeless with Korean

However, hung out with more Korean friends that only spoke Korean and felt like I was actually able to contribute to the conversation. (3 hours of Korean Listening ...🙃)

Was able to understand 70% of the conversation at my gyomushil’s final farewell lunch for me. I contributed to the gossip! 

Went home and immediately lost 50% of my Korean skills upon touching U.S. soil. 

So basically, after my burst of inspiration in February, my confidence and motivation in Korean just kept plummeting. Even now as I write up this post I feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. But I do want to highlight the progress that I’ve made since orientation.

Korean Reading

We were all supposed to be able to read Hangul before we came to Korea. Being able to recognize the alphabet is different from being able to read and also different from knowing the pronunciation rules and where to pause in your reading. During my first semester, my eyes would automatically glaze over whenever I saw Korean text. When the second semester started, I tried to force myself to read everything I came across - storefronts, street signs, advertisements on buses, etc. Even if I didn’t know what it meant, I would force myself to read it. Right now, I can navigate a Korean shopping website and read a menu semi-comfortably. I’m still waiting for the day when I’ll see English sounding hangul and be able to read it as fast as English. Although, I will say it’s really nice to be able to read the Korean titles in Kpop videos on Youtube, especially when I come across really old songs (like Super Junior’s No Other 너 같은 사람 또 없어) and realize I now know what it means. 

Also, a new world that has opened up to me is...노래방!! Karaoke is such an adrenaline rush. I’d compare it to sight-reading or DDR/rhythm games where you know something is coming up and the satisfaction you get when you get it right with the beat of the music is 👌. It’s so gratifying to be able to sing along...거기 너 I FANCY YOU 아무나 원하지 않아 HEY! I love you (LOVE YA)!! 

Korean Writing

Back during orientation, I couldn’t spell anything on my own. I knew words every koreaboo knew like 어떻게 and 괜찮아 but I couldn’t write it because I didn’t know how spelling worked. It’s no wonder my spelling didn’t improve since a) I didn’t write and b) I didn’t even read. Even now I still make a lot of spelling mistakes, but I pay attention to words when I see them. It’s still a very slow process, but now I can picture the hangul in my head when I think of the word. 

Typing: I started orientation with around 15 wpm, then by the end of orientation I got to around 30 wpm. Currently, I’m at 60 wpm when I start cold and after I get warmed up I can go up to 80wpm. Being able to touch type is so useful, especially when I’m typing up long sentences from my textbook and I don’t have to look up.

Korean Listening

Dare I say...my Korean listening is my strongest point??? I remember when I took French listening tests in high school, I would always lament with everyone else that they spoke too fast for me to understand. But interestingly, for both Japanese and Korean, I never had that problem. If it only contains words and grammar I know, I can understand it perfectly fine even if it’s fast. I intuitively understand most Korean verb endings and exclamations so it’s not hard to know which way the conversation is flowing or when to interject with “세상에,” “맞아 맞아,” or “말도 안돼.” I used to think my poor lack of vocabulary was the number 1 thing blocking me from understanding, but then I learned more grammar and realized the things I didn’t know. I do feel like parts of the fog are being lifted...sometimes...

Korean Speaking: 

I still feel pretty embarrassed when I speak Korean because there are some sounds that I can’t pronounce. Compared to orientation, I have a few more stock phrases tucked and ready to go, but I still feel unable to express myself. Every conversation will start out fine, but they’ll all stagnate to the same topics and sentences after a while. 

Complications with other languages

I talked about how knowing some Japanese and Chinese was both an advantage and a disadvantage during my beginning stages, but this is true even now. 

Ever since I started getting more comfortable with typing and spelling Korean, I’ve started seeing the actual Hangul in my head when I think/hear Korean. I’ve also started to associate the locations of the Hangul characters with their locations on the Korean keyboard. 

One day, I was trying to text back my mom with “那是什么?” (Na Shi Shen Me/What’s that?) but was confused because those characters weren’t showing up. Then I realized I was typing “sk” instead of “na.” Some of you guys might get it....because “s” is where ㄴ(n) is and k is where ㅏ(a) is on the Korean keyboard. Clearly, my brain can’t handle it. It’s interesting because both the Japanese and Chinese keyboard uses the same alphabet placements as English.

Another time: I was watching a Talk To Me in Korean video where Hyunwoo talked about how 하다 is a very versatile verb. I immediately thought about how the Japanese equivalent is 수루 and even mentally mapped it out on the Korean keyboard...before realizing this is WRONG, WRONG, it’s する not 수루 LOUISE WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING. (They are both pronounced suru)

What’s next? 

Now that I’m back in the States, it’s going to take even more determination and self-discipline to keep up with my Korean. But I really don’t want everything I’ve worked towards to just wash down the drain. I’ll aim to finish my intermediate grammar textbook and grind anki flashcards. Hopefully, I can find a language partner or a study group. We’ll see! 

[emybain]

Danna and Celeste fluff, please

these two are literally adorable. I wanted to write more, as usual, but then decided to keep it short and sweet. in all honesty I didn't think people would care much about danna having a wife in that Christmas fic I posted forever ago, but I was wrong lol. I personally love celeste, and I really want marissa to at least hint at Danna getting a girlfriend in the third book bc after everything’s she’s been through, sis deserves one. also, side note, i apologize for my french bc 1) im a little rusty bc i havent taken a class in a while and 2) i tried to give context for when it was being spoken. anyways, hope you enjoy! it’s been fun writing this!

Also, as a note to everyone, if you like this fic PLEASE reblog! likes are nice, but reblogging really helps the work spread! always reblog other people's art/music/writing/etc!!!

summary: Danna is 19 and traveling across the world, learning about different cultures and customs. currently, she is in Lyon, France. her next destination is Paris, where she plans on seeing all the major monuments and artworks. however, a run in (literally) with a stranger may push back her trip to Paris a few days, or maybe even longer...

   It was a rainy day in Lyon. Most days were rainy in Lyon.

    Danna sighed. When she had first come to Lyon a few days ago, she was excited to see that it was raining. Other parts of France that she had visited so far were sunny, which was nice, but she loved rain.

    But it had been raining for three days now, and according to locals, that was normal for October.

    Danna pulled her sweater closer to her body, getting a sudden chill. In front of her sat her keyboard and tablet. On the tablet sat an open document with detailed notes and comments. For over a year now, she had been travelling the world, visiting country after country and learning new cultures. She wanted to write a book about becoming an active member in the community and giving a voice to people who didn’t have one. But Danna had a problem: she had no idea how to write a book, or even where to start. No number of how-to-write-for-beginners books had come in handy.

    She sipped at her black coffee and tapped her stylus against the table she was sitting at. She was at a coffee shop near her hotel, Le Café, if she remembered correctly. She had been holed up in her hotel room all morning and afternoon, having visited most of the city in the first two days, and finally decided to leave in search of inspiration.

    So far she had nothing.

    Danna set down her stylus and rubbed her eyes. A notification showed up on the top of her tablet. She clicked on it, not even checking to see what it was for. Her messenger app opened, revealing her chat with Ruby. Danna tried to keep in touch with her friends in Gatlon, but the time differences made things hard. While it was currently just after five in the afternoon in Lyon, France, it was only eleven in the mid morning in Gatlon. It wasn’t as bad as when Danna was in Beijing, though. When she was eating lunch, it was still the previous day in Gatlon. Just to give an example.

    She looked at the photo Ruby had sent her. It was of a passed out Oscar on the couch of their apartment. Danna snorted. On closer examination, she saw a plate laying in his lap that was scraped clean. Their cat, Craig, was sprawled out across his chest.

        thinking of you! how’s france? also, is it okay if we video chat later? everyone’s coming over for game night and we want you to join in!

    Danna mulled over the question. If she chose to play with them, it would be well after midnight. It wouldn’t be the first time Danna had joined in on their game nights, a tradition she had once been a part of before leaving Gatlon.

            France is great! I miss you guys so much...thinking about a quick trip home. And that depends...what’s the chosen game?

    Ruby responded immediately. 

    ooh yes PLEASE come home!!! craig misses you the most! and the game is your choice!

        Danna chuckled. Craig was a good cat.

        Will your fiancé be okay with me choosing? 

    Oscar was the usual game-chooser for game nights, as he knew some good games. He took it personally when someone else wanted to choose. It had since become a running joke in their friend group.

A large group of girls walked into the shop, chattering and laughing loudly. Danna took one glance at them and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. They were around her age, university students. She was sure they were nice people, but did they have to be so loud? In a coffee shop? Hopefully, they were getting drinks to-go.

        he will be if i say he will be.

    Danna laughed into her coffee cup, snickering silently. Ruby and Oscar had gotten engaged a few months ago. No one was really surprised; they weren’t even twenty yet, but they were the definition of soulmates, perfect for one another. She sent Ruby a laughing image and closed their conversation.

    She sighed again, grateful for the distraction. For a few minutes, she just sat there, staring out the window beside her table. People and cars went by. It would be dark pretty soon. The aroma of pastries surrounded her, and her mouth watered. She checked the time, and decided she deserved a quick snack before heading out for dinner.

    Grabbing her wallet and turning off her tablet, Danna stood from her table. Only to stumble back and clumsily fall onto her seat as she was immediately drenched in something wet. And cold. Very. Cold.

    “Zut alors!” a voice gasped. Danna sat paralyzed, staring down at the iced coffee that was now all over her shirt she had bought in Vienna. “Je suis désolé! Je ne savais pas que vous-”

    “Ne vous inquiétez pas à ce sujet.” Danna winced at her accent. She had learned some French when she was younger, but it wasn’t her strongest language. Thankfully, she could at least understand that the person was apologizing, and she knew enough to be able to tell them it was fine. “J’ai besoin de serv...” Her words died in her mouth as she looked up at the girl who spilled her ice coffee on her. It was one of the girls from the loud group of college students. She looked just as shocked as Danna was.

    They blinked at one another, and the girl offered a shaky smile. “Serviettes?” she said softly, and Danna nodded numbly, unable to tell if it was from the cold or something else. The girl left and returned shortly with a handful of napkins.

    “Merci.” Danna took a few of the napkins and began wiping at her shirt, but to no avail. Hopefully, it would come out in the laundry. The girl busied herself with cleaning up her drink on the floor, blushing furiously. Danna opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by one of the girl’s friends, who hollered at her from across the shop.

    “Celeste! Allons-y!” The other girl waved for her friend, Celeste, to go. She and the rest of their group were at the door, waiting for Celeste to join them.

    The girl grumbled underneath her breath, too soft for Danna to understand it. “Attends, Annette! Une minute!”

    Danna grasped for something to say. After stumbling over a few words, she managed to tell the girl she could go, that Danna could clean the rest. But the girl just smiled and shook her head. Then, she turned her head to the rest of her party of friends and told them to go without her. She would catch up later.

    “Est-ce que vous êtes Français?” she asked after her friends left, dropping wet napkins into her spilled cup. Danna shook her head and told her that no, that she was from Gatlon, headquarters for Renegades, and that she spoke English. The girl gasped and looked up at Danna, eyes wide. Danna’s heart lurched. She asked if Danna was a Renegade, and when Danna didn’t answer, she giggled.

    “I am joking,” she said with a thick accent, smiling. “That’s not my business.”

    “You can speak English?” Danna blinked, surprised. The only English speakers she had come across in France were mainly tourists and shopkeepers who wanted to be able to communicate with their customers.

    “Yes. My maman is from Edinburgh, but my papa is from here.” She stood, finished with cleaning her spill. She grabbed Danna’s used napkins and put them in her cup. “I’ll be right back.” She went to a trash can near the order counter, then returned.

    “Um...thank you.” Danna swallowed. “I’m Danna, by the way. Danna Bell.” She held out an awkward hand, not really sure why she was introducing herself to a stranger who was going to leave soon anyways.

    The girl smiled brightly and accepted her handshake. “Celeste de la Fontaine. It’s a pleasure spilling coffee on you, Danna.”  

    “Iced coffee, too.” Danna managed to smile in return. “It’s October and freezing outside. Why did you order an iced coffee?”

    Celeste giggled, and Danna’s cheeks grew warm. “I don’t like hot coffee. It’s better iced.”

    Danna raised an eyebrow. “Oh, you’re one of those people?” she teased. Immediately, she was surprised how easy it came out. She was usually very stiff around strangers.

    “You could say I’m rare,” Celeste retorted. She gestured to the seat across from Danna. “May I sit?”

    Danna nodded.

    “Your friend sounds like a likeable guy,” Celeste said, unable to contain her laughter as she took a bite of her pastry. “But also very stupid.” Danna had just finished telling Celeste a story about how Oscar had pranked Adrian’s dads and the rest of the Council and gotten away with it. The only people who were truly mad about the main lobby floor being covered from wall to wall in balloons were Thunderbird and Tsunami. Adrian’s dads and Blacklight were highly amused, probably because they knew who was behind the prank, and knew that his accomplice was Adrian, who helped by drawing the balloons. It was a better idea than the one Oscar had originally planned, which involved covering all the walls in papers stating a required inspection of all male Renegades concerning...something Danna would rather not repeat. But then Danna, Nova, and Ruby heard of his plans, and they all took turns in lecturing him on the stupidity of his prank, and how he could potentially offend or scar someone.

    Danna snorted. “Yeah. Oscar’s a special one. He annoys me seventy-five percent of the time, but I tolerate him the rest of the time.”

    They had been sitting in the coffee shop for over an hour, chatting and laughing. Danna had smiled more in an hour than she had in a year. There was something about Celeste that made Danna be so drawn to her. She was intelligent, kind, and was an activist like Danna, although she only had enough time to spread activist information via social media. She was also pretty, with brown eyes and dark hair and olive toned skin. But there was something else that made Danna’s heart flutter.

    One of the workers approached their table and kindly told them that the shop would be closing soon. Danna and Celeste collected their things and threw out their trash. When they stepped outside, now night, they were met with a blast of cold air. Celeste grinned and pulled her jacket tighter around her frame.

    “I love the cold.” She breathed in deeply. “Gives me an excuse to wear big sweaters.”

    They strolled down the sidewalk, neither in a huge hurry. Danna shifted her bag on her back and stuffed her hands in her pockets. “I meant to ask you earlier, but what happened to all of your friends?”

    Celeste shook her head, nose scrunched up. “They were going off to some movie that I wasn’t really interested in. Some predictable romantic comedy.”

    “So, you just used me to get out of it?” Danna bit her lip, glancing at Celeste, who shot her a full smile, white teeth showing.

    “Perhaps.” Maybe it was Danna’s imagination, but she thought she saw Celeste drift closer to her. “Or perhaps I just wanted to stay and talk to you.”

    They stopped on a street corner. Danna turned to face Celeste, both of their faces illuminated by the street lamp above them. Celeste’s cheeks were rosy, her eyes bright.

    “How long are you in Lyon?” Celeste asked, voice dropping just slightly. Danna knew for a fact that she shifted closer this time. She took note how much shorter Celeste was than her.

    Danna toed her boot against the pavement. “I was planning on leaving tomorrow, but I told myself I would stay a little longer if I found something really interesting.”

    Celeste nodded slowly. “And?”

    Looking down at the ground, then back up at Celeste, suddenly feeling a wave of embarrassment overtake her, Danna said. “I think I can stay for a few more days.”

    They exchanged numbers and social medias, Danna promising that they could meet up again before she moved on to Paris.

    But something deep inside of Danna told her that she wouldn’t make it to Paris for a while.

[nedxwynert]

Unique | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Hope was very little when you saw that your boyfriend was cheating on you, thinking that there's nothing to live for until you meet a nice man who caught your eye.

Warnings: mentions of a breakup, heartbreak, few swear words, cheesy (I know, I'm sorry)

Word Count: 2,074 (whoops)

Masterlist

(Gif not mine)

-

Your thumbs type over the keyboard of your phone, hearing the clicks it makes whenever a letter was typed as you made your way through the downtown market of Bucharest, passing by people as they weren't in the best clothing, but it was all they had. You felt bad for them, and it always breaks your heart when you saw a child starving and did what you could to give them some cash or the rest of your food that you bought. But today, you just wanted to go pick some food and scurry back to your little destitute apartment. Today was also the day your boyfriend--. Well. Ex boyfriend, had texted you back after a while since you had caught him cheating with some girl who worked at the coffee shop you two went to.

Of course he would. Who would want someone like you? You sit in your room dreaming, drawing, grabbing novels to read almost 24/7 when most people just want to either get in your pants, steal money, or wanted to go out to parties and rub against guys and get drunk off your ass. You only just wanted to smell and paint the roses. You were done with those days of waking up with a hangover and getting in trouble with the law.

But 5 months ago when you walked in on him, smothering his lips all over that girl in the back of that cafe. That was the last you saw him, and that whole month you've spent crying a river over him, it felt like a never ending heartbreak. And the one thing that was hard for you, was to not think of him and just try to man up to it. You'd knew that would happen to you one day, but it hurts to admit it that you would ever think of such a thing.

You did your best of trying to be friends with new people to get the thought of him off your mind, but they turned you away. You tried to drink the thoughts away, but you couldn't try and lacked the money for alcohol. You read books that you got from the library, but they somehow made you think more of him. Weeks you spent on doing every little thing possible to push that bastard you loved out of your mind. And now he's texting you, telling you that he messed up when all you wanted to do is forget about his existence and try to live a normal life without falling in love. Cause all you knew was that someone is just gonna come along and ruin your life even more.

Once another text came in, you felt the tears threatening to roll down your cheeks, fumbling with the phone and shook your head while you stuffed it in your coat pocket, searching the fruit stands nearby to clear your mind. You haven't slept in days. Well, not good as you only got a few hours of sleep each night, dark circles around your eyes, nose red from rubbing it with tissues when you were crying and your cloths a slight mess from the lack of energy to go to the laundromat to wash them.

You looked like hell. Felt like hell especially.

Your (eye colour) orbs scanned the fruits that laid out in crates, scanning the prices as your teeth bit at your lower lip. Damn it. How much money did you bring?

"Would you like to purchase some fruit, miss? We got some good tasting local fruit that is picked just for you." The man who ran the stand looked over to you, seeing that he wore a white apron that was a bit dirtied up from dirt, fruit juices, and perhaps age from the looks on the edges of the fabric as it was worn out from how much it was used. You could tell he was trying to get you to buy some from how nice he was trying to be.

A fake smile curled to your lips as you saw the plums that were in front of you, knowing that the money in your purse wouldn't be able to purchase as much as you want. Small plums might waste your money when there might be something else more filling elsewhere. Fuck. Why did prices have to go up?

"No, sir. I don't think th-" A body came up next to you and cut you off from your words. It was a male. Rather tall and wore a dark red shirt, a cap on his head, and a brown coat over him that looked old from its looks.

"A few for the lady and I," the male spoke as he handed over a few plums to the man to bag while he shoved his gloved hand in his coat pocket to get his money to pay while you stood there next to him, looking at him from the side. His hair was jaw length, brown, and he had a slight beard. Then you saw his eyes. Blue as the skies like the pictures you saw of California in your books.

The moment was awkward while he paid for you when you would hear him thank to the man before handing the white bag to you, a soft smile forming his lips as those sky blue eyes looked down at you. God, he was tall.

"I saw that you looked hungry. Here." Hands took the bag as you couldn't part your eyes from the man that just bought you your dinner for tonight.

"Th-thank you. You didn't have to-"

"No no," he gave out a breathy short chuckle. "Don't thank me. I uh..I just wanted to be nice." Thank goodness. Someone who actually can show some niceness in this city. "Besides, I hope you don't mind sharing." And there was that smile again. It made your cheeks light up.

"No. Um." You couldn't help but look down and giggle softly before fixing your hair to be tucked behind one ear then looks back up to the man. "I really don't mind. Not at all."

"Maybe we could sit down for a bit? You look almost to the brink of passing out." Of course you did. If it wasn't for your fucked up relationship with your asshole of a ex boyfriend, you wouldn't be in this hell. A simple nod from you made him motion you to walk with him as he started to head to where there was a bench available to sit on to eat. Damn it. You swore everyone could hear your dying stomach growl from how hungry you wanted to have what this wonderful man bought you.

You two walked for a while till you found a spot that was quiet and sat down, your muscles relaxing as you didn't know you were so tensed up till you sat down. The skies were clouded over and it made the place even more gloomy, added with the poor people who walked around and begging for food or money. That's when your attention drew to the man who was now sinking his teeth in a juicy plum, his eyes looking ahead of him.

"May I ask. Who are you?" He didn't look at you as he had to pause for a while. Did he even hear you? Or could he be possibly making up a name in his head?

"My name is Bucky." The tone of his voice became deeper while he rested his elbows on his legs, his eyes keeping off you as you kept yours on him. He was so mysterious, you just wanted to know so much about of him.

"Where are you from, Bucky?" That's when you got his attention as he would look down to the floor before moving his head to you, some strands of his hair falling over his face. It looked as if he was asked a difficult math equation in math class.

"Would it uh." He chuckles nervously. "Sound crazy if I said that I don't know, really?" The fuck? How could no one know where they're from? Was he born on the side of a road and just never knew where he was and just walked around till today?

"You don't know where you're from?" You spoke in a bit of shock.

"No. It's uh. How do I put it? Like I can't remember most of my life." His face became more relaxed and his lips formed in a straight line, seeing pain in his eyes as it kinda made you feel bad for the man.

"I'm sorry to hear that. That's sad. Do you even know your parents' names?" Slumping back on the bench, you became even more curious for this man who couldn't remember most of his life.

"No...I don't." Once he took another bite of his plum, it became silent between you two, hearing the birds and the sounds of a city normally makes, but then he looks over at you , a soft look in his eyes that was surely making you melt right there on the bench. "What about you? What's your name?"

"It's (name). Dumb name, I know. Parents named me after one of their ancestors." Precious blue eyes looked at you and smiled when he finally knew what to call you now. This time, he showed some of his perfect teeth which surprised you a bit by how nice they looked for a man who said he doesn't remember most of his life.

"It's beautiful, for a woman like yourself." Beautiful? You? Oh hell no. Now you know he's just trying to flatter you.

"Euh, I disagree with you on that. I'm a complete mess." Your hands pointed to your clothes and the lack of makeup, tangled hair, and the dark circles under your eyes. But it seemed like he didn't care at all to it. Must be used to it from other woman here. "After my stupid boyfriend, I've been even more of a mess than before." God, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. Your eyes began to water and you tried to turn your face away from how hurt you looked again at the thought of your horrible heartbreak, but you felt a cool touch like metal on your chin and turned your face to Bucky as his hand had wiped away the tears you didn't realize that had rolled down your cheeks. You just met the man and now you're starting to break down in front of him. Wow. So perfect of you. What else would you do? Start telling him your terrible life you're living? Yeah, cause that'll totally make him want to spend time with you.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to start crying in front of you." Those blue eyes looked at your now red ones as his hand didn't leave your cheek as he was warm and tried your best to not lean too much into his hand as it felt good to be touched in a nice way instead of wanting to get in your pants or slapped at.

You two giggled for a little bit as you looked at each other for a bit as it felt actually nice to be in Bucky's company. He looked like as if he knew exactly how you felt and calmed you down instantly without saying a single word. It became awkward after a few minutes of staring at each other and you saw that he had managed to finish his plum, which you haven't even touched your three others that were in the white plastic bag. "Do you actually like plums or did you just buy them for just me?" You said to break the silence.

"No. I really like them, actually. They're my most favourite and they're like candy to me." There's that smile you adored and you thought of something funny, making you giggle a bit as it made him tilt his head out of curiosity of what could make you giggle since he didn't say anything. Maybe it was what he said? He didn't know.

"You want to hear a secret?" A simple nod came from him as you smiled...a smile you haven't made in a long time, not realizing that you were doing that as the man made you so comfortable that everything you knew of pain vanished from your thoughts.

"I love them too."

Thank you for reading! Did you enjoy? If so, please consider to heart and reblog. Many writers today don’t get much credit for the hard work they put into their writing. And with that, have a wonderful day! :)

[j-k-notrowling]

Untitled

Hi there! Spoilers up front: this is a gratuitously long-winded “thank you,” not an Ask (also I’m 31 and don’t know how to Social Media so apologies if this is the wrong page/tab/link/widget).

--(oh actually it’s a blog post now because of course I can’t send an “Ask” this stupidly long see? wasn’t kidding about that Social Media thing...)--

I started writing my first book in the Fall of 2016. Before that I’d only written songs. One day I got an idea which didn’t fit within the usual rhymes or rhythms. I tried and tried, but kept on hitting a wall. In addition, I was fed up with the whole “business” of music—the fragile egos, the politics of being in a band, all that. One morning I sat down at my HP desktop computer (again...31) and opened up a blank Word document. I stared at it with murderous intent for a long time, but nothing happened. So I grabbed the nearest book off the shelf (Crash by J.G. Ballard), opened it, and began to type out the first paragraph, copying the sentences line by line. I wanted to see what it felt like — my clumsy fingers pecking at the keyboard, observing how the words fell into place with a musical cadence and tempo almost prophetic, as though the ink were destined to dry in this exact form upon the page, the machinery of its tumultuous birth and impeccable design skillfully concealed. I paused and looked out the window. There was a squirrel on the deck, I remember. And then I saw it. Not outside but inside my own head, behind my eyelids. The song, the one I’d been struggling to write, I saw that it could be a story. I saw it had a clear beginning, middle, and end. I saw a world of characters opening doors to other worlds, other stories, other characters. This was life-changing shit. Suddenly I was a little boy at my first baseball game, drinking my first ice-cold Coke, surrounded by old men chain-smoking Marlboro Reds and muttering dirty words I’d never heard before about the [EXPLETIVES DELETED] on the opposing team. I’d discovered a fire fueled by the psychic anarchy of its own discovery, a Moebius-strip of dramatic invention, a repository for all the pop-cultural turds floating around inside the cracked porcelain toilet bowl of my skull. I wrote prose every night after work. I never thought about what I was doing. I never once stopped to check word counts or page counts. I never thought about sticking to an outline, making sure my story adhered to a specific plot structure, none of that. I wrote like a man in love. Delirious, overheated teenage love. Wear-my-ill-fitting-letterman’s-jacket love (is this also A Thing™️ in Canada?). Stupid stupid stupid love, naive and hormonal and precious and retrospectively mortifying. I’d turn off the world, turn on the music, sit back and watch the words sashay straight into my lap. It took 2-3 months before the ruthless scourge known as Self Doubt farted in my private elevator. Am I doing this right? How many words are in a book, anyway? How many pages? How long is this going to take? Is this an effective way to impress women and/or get laid? Am I writing a novel or a novella? The fuck is “flash fiction”? Are you allowed to write actual books in Microsoft Word? Does it matter that my free trial version of Microsoft Word expires in 30 days? They’re bluffing, right? And so on. I compared my own writing with that of authors I admired; subsequently, I couldn’t get out of bed for a week. I watched 40+ hours of “Kitchen Nightmares” reruns (it’s. the. same. fucking. formula. every. single. episode.) and nursed my shame with bowl after bowl of strawberry ice cream. To think — I’d TOLD people about this fool’s errand, and sooner or later I’d have to show them precisely how awful a writer I was... I turned to the Internet for advice. At first, it seemed like a godsend. There was such a litany of knowledge, so many pro-tips and life hacks and proven formulas for success. This was how I stumbled across your channel. I found other channels which offered more straightforward “DO IT LIKE THIS YOU FUCKING IDIOT” instructions, but I still enjoyed yours the most. I lol-ed at your jokes. I remember a few videos where you spoke highly about All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr, which remains among the most achingly beautiful books I’ve ever read. Also you’re Canadian, and you guys just generally Human better than we (Americans) Human. ...and here my troubles began. See, the more I tried to adhere to word count goals, the more I tried to properly organize the scenes on my Scrivener™️ virtual cork board, the less I enjoyed the actual process of writing. So I tried other things, based upon other writers’ suggestions: cut the adverbs, write in the morning, write at night, write during your lunch break, write an outline, stick to the outline, write x amount of pages per day, write x number of hours per day, spend x amount of hours drafting and x amount of hours editing, etc. But nothing I tried made me feel confident in my writing. I started actively hating it, to be honest. I dreaded the cursor and the infinite white void. Then I would watch more writing videos and feel guilty about my lack of ambition, my inability to accomplish simple tasks. It’s only a few thousand words, dude — just get in there and do it. Eventually I would. I’d grumble and feel miserable and stay locked in my little writing dungeon all night, ignoring my friends’ texts and phone calls, and the next day I’d hate everything I wrote, trash it, and start over. Then, when I had no more writing left to hate, I started hating myself. The words in my head turned malignant, putrefied into spongy, black tumors. I’d spend all day at work consumed by thoughts and ideas and goals! goals! goals! for my book, then I’d come home and stare at a blinking cursor and wonder why I was such a worthless failure. I couldn’t write the way these other writers did, no matter what I tried. But I still wanted to write. Needed to, in that yearning, terrible way I suspect you understand. I don’t know why The Internet subconsciously invites us to flay ourselves before total strangers, but it does. So I will. Shit got Dark™️, Shaelin. I gained 50 pounds, started living like a hoarder, stopped hanging out with my friends, stopped leaving the house altogether. I kept the curtains closed so my neighbors wouldn’t see the piles of empty take-out boxes stacked up on the kitchen table. I traded the pleasures and contradictions and beguiling enigmas of women for the 24-hour neon distraction of cheap porno. My cat Maggie, basically the only friend I had during this time, got cancer. I watched her suffer and waste away because I couldn’t bear the thought of putting her to sleep and coming home alone to an empty, filthy house. Eventually she died and I hated myself even more for not being able to save her. I wore the same pair of pants for six months. I’d go to work and sit at my desk all day and do absolutely nothing (I was the accounting manager at a small company, technically my own “boss,” so I got away with this for a shocking, frankly heroic amount of time). Then I simply stopped going to work. And I kept torturing myself with those stupid goals and word counts, never happy with the end result, resigned to feel like a failure every day. I remember watching your “Spill the Tea” video back when it was initially posted. Watching it now is eerie, because you describe exactly what I was going through, what I was feeling. Like, to the “T” (see what I did there? #WordPlay #LitPuns101). I’d never experienced anxiety/depression before, so I didn’t really understand what was happening to me. Not that it mattered, because by that point the damage was done. I couldn’t recognize and isolate the real problem. I’d given up. Even though you said a lot of things in that video I desperately, desperately needed to hear, I didn’t listen. I didn’t want to listen to you, because you were one of Them™️. Your eyes were bright and your voice sounded friendly and encouraging, but your name wasn’t McCarthy or Pynchon or DeLillo or Nabokov. You were just a kid. What could you possibly know that I didn’t? In January of this year I called a local psychiatric hospital and told them I was planning to kill myself. I never harbored any true intentions of doing that, but I figured they’d offer me a nice three-week vacation in a padded cell. Considering the circumstances, it honestly seemed like a relief. I ended up quitting my job, selling my house, and moving back in with my parents 300 miles away. I started seeing a therapist once a week (still do, for the record). So far I’ve lost 30 pounds of the 50 pound surplus I acquired. I kept watching your videos, even though I was no longer in the market for writing advice (#JustHereForTheSnark). You kept me lol-ing through some bad days and weeks and months. I’d listen to you talk about problems with the writing community and nod my head like an old woman in church (#ShaelinSermons™️ #SheTeachesANDShePreaches), but I still hadn’t made the connection with my own issues. I swore off writing completely, went back to playing music. Cover songs in coffee shops and family restaurants. It was fun for awhile. I genuinely felt happier. But my story was still an old pebble poking around in my shoe...calling out, issuing playground taunts, drawing hairy cartoon dicks on my forehead while I slept. About a month ago I stared down another blank page, my first since experiencing that fun-sized nervous breakdown earlier this year. I closed my eyes and heard your voice in my head. “You can do whatever you want.” I had no goals, no arbitrary quotas to meet. I wrote a few lines, stopped, fixed a couple things I wasn’t satisfied with, and then went on with my day. I thought about what I’d written, sure, but I didn’t worry or spend the whole day stressing out. The next morning I read over what I’d done, and I didn’t hate it. I thought it was actually pretty good, funny and off-kilter and a little/lotta fucked up. So I sat down and wrote some more. Took some things out, re-worded stuff, dressed up the bones in silver and pearls. Addition and subtraction. Before I knew it, I’d finished a whole page. Then another. And then the hair on the back of my neck stood up, because I remembered: This is how it felt at the beginning. Back when I was young and love-struck and writing only to catch those moments of pure levitation, that devilish tickle, that rush of blood propelled by my own wild heart. It’s been a rough road, but I finally found what I’d lost. I figured out how to write again and enjoy it. And ultimately, the best writing advice I received didn’t come from McCarthy or Pynchon or DeLillo or Nabokov. It came from a young woman in another country with a camera and a nose ring and a big tapestry and bigger dreams which run parallel to my own. So thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your busy life and braving the Steaming Pile™️ that is The Internet to offer words of empathy and encouragement to complete strangers. Thank you for the wisdom you share. Thank you for being who you are. Know that tonight the stars shine brighter as a result. They do for me, at least. (Also I’m sincerely sorry about the absurd length of this “Ask” wherein no actual questions were posed and nothing substantial was communicated beyond a simple yet torturously delayed “thank you” kthxbye #longlivethenewtapestry 

—Justin)

[twogirlsandapage]

The Boy At The Rock Show

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2539

~Lyss

Maybe it was fate that lead you together...

The doors had just open to the show, you had been waiting for this night for a while. You and your friends had made your way inside, hitting the merch stand first. Of course, you were going to grab a shirt, maybe some stickers to plaster all over town.

While you were waiting in line you felt someone’s eyes on you, but while looking around you couldn’t find whose eyes they were.

After grabbing merch, you guys found a spot at the barricade, towards the left of the stage. That feeling hits you. Once again, you couldn’t find th-. There they were.

He was gorgeous. Dark brown hair parted down the middle. Tiny little hoop earrings, and cute little circle glasses. He quickly looked away as you caught him staring at you, your friends pulled your attention back to them and you didn’t see him again that night. No matter how much you searched for him.

Two months later, your friends had talked you into going to another show, at the same venue. Of course, you said yes, secretly in hopes you’d see the cute boy again. You had picked out the perfect outfit and headed to the concert with your friends.

After a short ride and a lot of scream-singing, you had arrived and walked yourself to the line of people outside. You scanned every face you walked by, sadness setting in because you didn’t see him.

“Why the long face, pumpkin?” Maya nudged your arm.

Lily, who was somehow already sitting on the ground, laughed slightly, “I’m sure she’s looking for that boy she saw last time.”

You nod, “Yeah I actually am." Maya nodded and looked around.

“I’m not seeing him either, but I hope you find him. You know, if he’s actually here.” You shrug your shoulders and played on your phone until the doors open.

The doors opened, your friends made a B-line for the merch table, like always. You stood toward the back of the crowd, scanning over everyone walking in. Yet, still no sight of the boy. You sighed and gave up your search, you decided to focus on having a great time with your friends.

They walked back over to you and you guys headed towards the stage. "Do you guys want any drinks?” Both nodded and told Jisu what they wanted, she repeated their drinks a few times and walked away to grab them.

“Found him yet?” You shake your head, sighing and looking at your feet.

“It’s okay, you’ll see him again. Maybe not today but one day.” You nod and sway along to the light music playing.

The opening band was about to come on when you felt that feeling. You smiled slightly and looked for him, he was a few rows behind you. This time his hair wasn’t parted, it was covering his forehead. He still had in the same hoops, but no glasses today either. He spotted you, sending the first smile, which you returned and turned back to face the stage.

After the show that night, your friends hung around in hopes that the band would come out and hang with their fans like they always would. Eventually, they did, you smiled and stood by your friends as they talked to the guitarists of the group.

“H-Hello, I just wanted to say you’re extremely gorgeous.” You spun around, to your surprise the boy was standing there.

You didn’t really know how to react, he was even more attractive up close, and his voice was beautiful as well.

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “ I’m sorry, that was probably very weird. I’ll leave you al-“

You cut him off, “I’m sorry, you’re just a lot more attractive up close. Caught me off guard.”

He laughed and nodded, “Alright, I’m Jungkook. Your name, beautiful?”

You blush and giggled softly, “I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

Before he could speak, a pink haired boy grabbed his arm and pulled him away, saying something along the lines of, ‘We need to go now', and something about people named Joon and Yoongi being drunk. You sighed and turned back to your friends, at least you knew his name now. You were sure if you ever heard that voice again you would recognize it in a heartbeat.

The next two shows you attended Jungkook wasn’t present, or just not in your sight. It was upsetting. You were hoping to talk more, maybe even get the boy’s number. But you had no luck. You were probably going to go broke from attending concerts at this point, you just wanted to see the cute boy from the show. But you started to give up hope, not as you would ever see the boy outside of that venue.

It wasn’t until three weeks after the last show that the boy reappeared. This time, it was while he was moving boxes into the same apartment complex you lived in. You had just finished grabbing your bags from your shopping adventure with your friends, heading to check your mail when you saw the beautiful boy.

This time he had cherry red hair, and the same friend from the last show was helping him. Your breath was caught in your throat. Obviously, you had to walk right by him, but we’re you supposed to say anything? Or stay quiet and just walk inside? You nervously chewed on your bottom lip as you walked towards the front door, noticing both boys also approaching the door, holding boxes. You quickly opened it, holding it open for them.

Jungkook smiles and thanked you quickly, before stopping in the middle of the hallway. “Wait, Y/N?” He set the box down and turned to you.

“Hello, Jungkook!” You smile widely and walk into the hallway, “Don’t let me distract you from moving.” You hurried up the stairs and into your apartment. You set down all your bags and quickly rang your friends, “You bitches won’t believe who the hell I saw moving into my building a few seconds ago.” They all quickly started screaming guesses, each one wrong, “It was Jungkook.” There was silence for a few seconds, “If you don’t fucking get laid now, I’ll fight him.” Jisu laughed loudly, the rest of you joining along.

You never really saw him much after that, mainly because when you weren’t at work you were in your room watching Netflix. But he mainly spent his days binge playing Overwatch, so he didn’t leave much either.

But one night, the both of you decided that 9pm was the perfect night to go grocery shopping down the street. You were pushing your cart around the corner into the chip aisle when your carts smashed together. “I’m just going to see you everywhere, huh?” He laughed.

You smiled, “Yeah I guess so. Are you complaining though?”

“Oh god no, trust me I like it.” He smiled, it was such a cute smile, almost bunny like. It was absolutely adorable. Was it possible to fall in love with someone you barely knew? Because you were sure it was happening right now.

You nodded, “Good because we now share the same building, I’m sure you’ll see me around a lot.”

“Yeah, when I’m not trapped in my room playing video games,” He laughed slightly, playing with the sleeves of his sweater.

You licked your lips and looked towards the ground, “M-Maybe we could even hang out if you’d like..”

“That actually sounds amazing, you think I could get your number?” You nodded quickly and grab his phone when he hands it to you. You add your number and take a quick selfie for the contact photo and handed it back. “ I’ll let you get back to your food shopping. You should totally try banana milk, it’s super good.” He says.

“I’ll go grab some right after I get my chips,” You giggle and walk past him, smiling a little too much.

It took him a little over a day to finally text you though, the poor boy was so nervous to finally do it. But as soon as he did, you couldn’t stop talking for about a month straight.

The two of you really connected, it felt like you known each other for way longer than you actually did and it felt so amazing.

You still had not hung out, with your work schedule and whenever you were free, he was with his friends. Part of you believed he was just busy, but the other part of you was scared he didn’t want to hang out with you anymore. Until today, when he sent you a text. 

‘I remember you saying you don’t work today, and my friends canceled our plans, so meet me at my apartment around noon? We could watch movies and eat way too much food.’ 

You giggle at the text and reply a quick ‘okay!’ and got ready. Just a cute pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie. You simply waited around 'til it was time to go downstairs.

Around 11:50, you grabbed the rest of the banana milk you had in your fridge and took the elevator to his floor. The walk to his apartment felt extremely long, probably because you were walking extremely slow. You hadn’t been this nervous in a while and apparently, the social anxiety was finally settling in.

Talking to someone through the phone is so easy, you can hide behind a whole facade through the keyboard, but in person? So shy and awkward. Sure you’ve had conversations but now you’re officially hanging out; the whole day of just you two.

You knocked on his door quickly, no time for doubt. He opened the door wearing his signature bunny smile, a black long sleeve, and some sweatpants. You definitely weren’t expecting him to pull you into a hug, but he did and it made you even happier. “Sorry, I’m a bit of a hugger.”

“Don’t apologize, I like it.” You smile and pull away. He stepped to the side to let you in.

“I was thinking we could hang in my room, I’ve got a huge tv and a memory foam mattress that’s a hell of a lot more comfortable than the couch,” He laughed.

You nod and hand him the milk you had brought, “Sounds good to me, cutie.” He blushed and looked down, “And you even brought me banana milk. I’m in love.” You giggle and follow him to his room. He grabs his controller from his desk and plops on the bed. You follow his actions. “Make yourself at home," he says. You nod and sit criss-cross, back against his headboard. “You can sit closer, too. I don’t bite, not too hard, at least.”

“You sound like a 2015 Tumblr post.” You chuckle.

“That’s rude.”

“It's the truth babe, I’m sorry,” You laugh and play with your fingers.

You soon felt his hand grabbing yours, intertwining your fingers. “Nervous?” He asked. You nod. “I am too, it feels weird hanging out with someone who isn’t one of the boys I’m always with. But I’m sure we’ll get through this, together,” He smiled and pulled you closer to him.

You were probably on the third movie when you heard slight snores from beside you. You giggle slightly and gently pulled your hand from his, deciding now would be the best time to leave. “Where are you going, love?” He speaks, sleep in his voice. Your heart swelled at the nickname.

“I thought you were sleeping, I was gonna head home.” He shook his head and grabbed your hand again. “Take a nap with me,” He smiled lazily and opened his arms. You contemplate for a second and give in pretty easily, leaning into his side and resting your head in his chest. His arms tighten around you, one hand rubbing your back slightly and the other reaching to pull a blanket over the two of you.

Saying you guys took a nap would be an understatement when you woke up at 3 in the morning. Jungkook was already awake and softly rubbing your back, “Morning, sunshine,” he chuckled.

You rubbed your eyes slightly. “Oh god, it’s so late.”

He shook his head, “I think it’s a perfect time, for an adventure.”

You laugh and check your phone, “I should head home now.”

“Wait, you wouldn’t wanna adventure with me?”

“Oh, you’re actually serious?” He nods quickly. “You’re lucky I don’t have work today, Jeon.” He smiles and pulls a hoodie from off the floor.

It was about 6 when you both found yourself at the water, your adventure took you all around town. You guys talked throughout the entire walk, but now Jungkook was quiet, sitting on the rock wall beside you. Not going to lie, it was a little weird but you just leaned your head against his shoulder and sat there watching the sunrise.

“When I first saw you at that show, I never would’ve expected we’d be sitting here right now,” he spoke softly, “I didn’t even think you’d give me a second glance, and we’ve actually become really good friends.” Friends, right. You sigh and lift your head from his shoulder, moving slightly away from him. “Why’d you move?” He whines, trying to pull you towards him. “Was it something I said?”

“No no, just wanted to move, that’s all.” He gave you a look. “What? I’m serious.”

He shakes his head, “Sorry chief, I don’t believe you.”

“You seriously did not just call me chief.”

“Yes, I did. Why? Do you want me to call you something else?” You bit your lip and looked away. “Hey. Look at me, Y/N... Pleaseeee!” You give in. “What do you want me to call you if I can’t call you chief?” He asks.

“You could call me yours.” That definitely wasn’t supposed to come out. His eyes widen slightly and the tears already starting to swell in your eyes. How could you let that slip out? What an idiot.

You shake your head and stand up. “I'm going to head home, sorry Jungkook.”

He gets up quickly, grabbing your wrist. “Get back over here,” he pulls you towards him, "Is that why baby pulled away when I said we were friends?” He smirked

“Stop teasing me,” you whine, your ears filled with his laughter.

“It’s adorable babe,” He presses a kiss to your forehead. “So I can call you mine?” You bite your lip and slowly nod. “No, I wanna hear you say it.”

“Yes, you can call me yours, Jungkook.” He smiled widely.

“You think I could kiss you, too?”

You laugh. “Of course you can, loser.” He chuckles and cups your cheeks. You would think that he would go right for it, but he just stops and admires your features, lightly stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. You sigh and take matters into your own hands, standing up on your tippy toes and smashing your lips together. He tastes a lot like the coffee you guys had gotten a little while ago. It was sweet, just like him. The sun had finally risen over the horizon, rays falling over you guys.

The whole moment was perfect, just like him.

[madam-wakefield]

Christmas Time With You (1/3)

Berena | Fluff | Smut (later chapter) | FR18 | 2,091 words. 

Serena sets out to make their first proper join Christmas truly magical for Bernie. My gift for the @berenasecretsanta

I hope my giftee @megredgrave likes what I have written for her prompt “berena in love, fluff, smut, christmas, happiness!” 

Also Avaliable on A03

Serena loves Christmas. She always has and always will, so naturally the first year she is due to spend Christmas with Bernie in their shared house, she wants to find out what Bernie thinks Christmas is about.

“What makes Christmas magical for you?” she asks, one morning in late November when the two of them are both still slightly sleep-mussed but cuddled together, with no alarm to rush them out of bed.

“What?” Bernie states dumbly, completely nonplussed by Serena’s question. Bernie looks down at Serena where her head is laid against her chest, trying to understand exactly what she wants to know, thinking maybe she wants present hints.

Serena starts speaking again. She can’t try to meld their Christmases into something special and amazing for the both of them if she doesn’t know what Bernie likes. “Is there anything special you do at Christmas time, any family traditions, any special ornaments that have be hung in a certain place or certain way?”

Bernie shakes her head gently. She thinks she doesn’t need to give more of a response until Serena pushes for it. “What do you mean, no? There has got to be something.”

Bernie smiles gently at Serena, loving the fact they still get to learn new things about each other every day. “I spent so many of my Christmases in different countries—often not even realising it was Christmas Day—I never really got around to making any Christmas traditions.” And Serena gets that when Bernie explains, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t a little saddened by it, so she promises to herself to make Bernie’s Christmas the best one she’s ever had.

The conversation is forgotten, at least by Bernie, until early December. They are in their shared office, which is now decorated for the festive season, catching up on paperwork on what it an unusually quiet shift, especially for December. Serena looks up at Bernie from her computer screen, a smile lighting up her face at the look of concentration on Bernie’s.

“What do you want for Christmas?” Serena then asks out of the blue. She’s got a few ideas but definitely not enough to fill under the tree and Bernie’s stocking.

Bernie taps her computer keyboard for a few more seconds, clearly finishing whatever sentence she was in the middle of writing before looking up at Serena. “I don’t want or need anything, and I wasn’t expecting anything either. I’ve got exactly what I want already.” And the loving look Bernie sends her way leaves no doubt in Serena’s mind that she means her, and she can feel her heart expanding in her chest with the love she has for Bernie.

“I love you,” she states for what must be the millionth time in their relationship, but it doesn’t hold any less meaning than it did the first time she ever uttered the words to Bernie. “I also love that you feel you have everything, but it’s Christmas so there has to be presents.” Bernie can’t help but think this sounds similar to a conversation they had not too long ago about Christmas traditions and once again begins to explain herself

“I love you too, but in my experience, Christmas doesn’t always mean presents. When I was deployed, I was lucky if Marcus actually remembered to take the time to send me a care package Christmas present. And the children spent multiple Christmases without presents while I was abroad because he was too busy and forgot. So honestly, to have someone that’s actually thinking about my needs, while loving, cherishing and adoring me is honestly all I really need.”

Serena’s heart clenches with physical pain and her hate for Marcus grows ten-fold. She’s never been his biggest fan, but since becoming Bernie’s girlfriend, she has learnt a lot about the man that makes her dislike him and this has to be the worst. She cannot believe that someone who claimed to have loved Bernie could forget to send his wife and the mother of his children a present while she was busy serving the country.

Serena decides that right now she can’t continue with paperwork. “Oh Bernie, I’m so sorry. I understand why you feel that way, but I will never not buy you Christmas presents, no matter where in the world you are. And right now, I think we both deserve a break and a strong hot coffee.” She walks around the desk to Bernie’s computer, offering her hand to help her up, and as they leave the office together, she vows once again to make Bernie’s Christmas the most magical ever.

Serena starts to put her plan into action that very weekend. It is traditionally the weekend she puts up the Christmas tree in her house, and always has been. Even if she is at work, she always finds time to decorate the tree. But first she realises that all the decorations are hers and Ellie’s, the little kid ones they made and brought home from school that no parent can ever bring themselves to part with. She decides that Bernie needs to add her own decorations to the tree, so early Saturday morning finds the two of them out shopping.

They spend a while walking around the Christmas market in town, picking up a few presents for Evie, and for Fletch and Mikey. Bernie never knew Christmas could be like this, not suspecting that Serena would buy things for a lot of the people on the ward as well as Fletcher’s children who she makes sure she sees at least once over Christmas.

They find a lovely ornament stand where Bernie finds a wooden wolf ornament that she just falls in love with. And Serena can’t help but think it’s perfect, and will really be Bernie’s own stamp on their Christmas tree. Serena is so excited to get a spend a first magical Christmas at home with Bernie.

The next day Ellie wakes them up bright and early with a knock on the door. “So much for sleepy Sunday morning sex,” Bernie mumbles as she kisses Serena gently before forcing herself into the bathroom to get dressed, leaving Serena to go and answer the door. Before long, however, Bernie almost completely forgets about sleepy Sunday morning sex.

Once Serena and Bernie are both dressed and dosed up with coffee, Ellie sets a totally cheesy Christmas playlist to play through her Bluetooth speaker before they begin the mammoth task of decorating the house and tree. Bernie being Bernie offers to be the one to remove all the decorations from the loft. And she can’t quite believe just how many boxes there are. The years she was home for Christmas she knows they never had more than three boxes of decorations each Christmas, and one of them was the Christmas tree.

Serena sets about untangling the tinsel, laying it out into nice neat rows, and Ellie works on rearranging the mantle. Bernie feels a bit lost, not quite sure what to do with herself. In the end she ends up untangling and testing the Christmas tree lights, replacing any bulbs that are dimming or have already burned out completely.

At exactly 11 o’clock there is a knock at the door, and the local Christmas tree farm has arrived with their tree. Bernie has to admit that once it’s in place in the living room, even before it’s decorated, it looks better than any fake tree she has ever had. And the smell that it emanates from it is just as lovely, and does make her think of Christmas.

Serena makes placing the lights so easy. Bernie has never quite been able to work out where to start, or how not to get them tangled on the tree, or how to make sure they equally fill all the branches, but watching Serena work is magical, the smile on her face is genuine and Bernie is very content to just watch her girlfriend. Bernie is roped into helping with the tinsel, standing around the back of the tree, while the three of them feed the tinsel around to each other to ensure that it is placed just as well at the back as it is the front.

Bernie takes a step back once the tinsel is in place and watches Ellie and Serena set about placing the ornaments with practiced grace. It’s lovely watching the two women work together. She knows Ellie didn’t get on with her too well at first but they have come a long way since then.

“Hey Bernie, come over here and help instead of just staring at mum’s ass, will you?”

Of course, Ellie would bust her like that, but it’s just proof of how far to accepting them as a couple she really has come. And Bernie has to smile. To be welcomed into Serena’s family group like this is more than she could ever have imagined. It also makes her heart yearn for her own children. While Ellie has come a long way in accepting their relationship, her own children still haven’t forgiven her for everything that happened with their dad, and she’s lucky if she gets a short phone call from each of them every month.

She shakes the sadness from her mind for a while, wanting to actually be able to savour these good memories that she’s making with Serena and, of course, Ellie too. She stands to allow Serena to kiss her gently, knowing that her girlfriend knows what she was thinking about, before taking the bauble she offers and setting out to find a place on the tree to hang it.

After she places her first few decorations on the tree, Bernie really starts to get into the swing of it. Her own smile is genuine and she can’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be. When they are close to finishing, the tune coming from Ellie’s speaker changes to ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’, and even with her rubbish music knowledge, Bernie recognizes a few songs when she hears them. “Well, at least I don’t have to worry about that this year, right,” Ellie jokes over the top of the song.

“No, you just have to worry about this instead,” Serena jokes back, before taking two steps towards Bernie and pulling her into a long but chaste kiss. Ellie makes fake sick noises behind them and they all end up in a fit of giggles, unable to continue with any tree decorating for a good five minutes. Once the tree is finished, under Serena’s instruction, Bernie picks up the little paper bag containing her new wolf decoration and places it gently onto the tree. It blends in well with all the elegant decorations hanging there. At the sight of it, Ellie smiles before speaking.

“Wait there, I have something else,” she says before departing the room, Serena and Bernie both look at each other puzzled, but they don’t have any time to ask questions before Ellie is barreling back into the room. She hands Bernie a very similar paper bag. Bernie holds it in her hand for a minute before Ellie prompts her to open it.

Inside is a wooden B engraved with snowflakes and her name. Bernie’s eyes tear up. “Mum and I both have one that she got us our first Christmas alone, and I thought it only right you have one to match to really make you part of the family.” At Ellie’s words Bernie can’t help but let her tears fall as she throws her arms around Ellie, and after a few seconds, she feels Serena join them too.

“Thank you, Ellie, it’s beautiful, and thank you for accepting me into your family. I know you haven’t always found it easy, but it really does mean a lot.” She pulls back then not waiting to push Ellie too far.

“You really have just made me so proud, Ellie,” Serena says, and Bernie can tell from her voice that she’s been crying too. Bernie places the decoration on the branch next to Serena’s similar one, before Serena announces that the tree is officially finished.

They eat a shared lunch and because it’s Christmas, Serena opens a bottle of shiraz—as if she needs an excuse—before the spend the rest of the day decorating the remainder of the house. By the end of the day, Bernie can see why Christmas can really be a magical time, and knows there is nowhere and no one she’d rather be spending Christmas with.

[sweet-pea-channie]

Wind in my hair - Dylan O’Brien Series (Part 2)

Part 2: Talks, laughs and fun times 

Author: @flirtstiles

Summary: Dylan and Y/N meet for the first time and get to know each other a little bit better at the Los Liones Trial

Warnings: non?

a/n: ugh, took me so long to update but I had so much stuff to do at home and at work. Working at a 8-5 pace is so exhausting but yeah here it is the second part to my first series. Also, I gave the brother a name because I don’t want to deal with you/brothers/name and all the stuff like that so yea, enjoy!

Want to be tagged? Send me a message :)

Part 1 - Part 3 - Series Overview - Masterlist

28th April, 2018

It’s been two days since you met Dylan and it’s been a few minutes since you stared at your phone.

“Hey Y/N it’s Dylan. I wanted to wait a little longer to text you but I couldn’t ahaha. So I was wondering if you’re free today or not? Text me or call me”

You couldn’t believe that he’d really text you. You, out of all people.  You never really had any luck with guys. Once they knew how frail you were, they’d leave you in a second. Your last boyfriend was back in college, sophomore year, when he left you for another chick. He was actually the kindest boyfriend you ever had. Well, you only had two but that doesn’t matter right now. He cared for you when your parent’s died while your brother was on the other side of the planet. He took you in on weekends or the holidays so you wouldn’t have to stay alone in your crappy small room.

Your fingers brushed over the touchscreen and the keyboard appeared. You slowly typed in a message for Dylan, your heart bumping so fast, your fingers couldn’t hit the right buttons.

“Hey there”, you typed and sent it unwillingly.

“Oh god” you mumbled and typed another paragraph quickly. “I am free today.”

No, you don’t seem to be intrusive at all, Y/N, you thought. But just as quick as you sent your message, Dylan replied back. “Wonderful. Umm, can I pick you up in around an hour?”

“Yeah, that’s okay” you replied and sent the address of your apartment.

“Great, see you soon” Dylan texted a few seconds back.

You ran down the hall, sprinting to your bedroom like a teenage girl who was going to her first dance. Excitement was written all over your face. Your smile was so wide that the small dimple on your check appeared.  You nearly tripped on your way to the wardrobe, catching yourself on the armchair that stood right next to it. The smile on your face reflected on the mirror and you smiled even more when you caught a glimpse of yourself.

You combined dark blue jeans and a white loose blouse with lace at the bottom of it. Soft y/h/c locks fell down your shoulders and stopped right under your shoulder blades. You applied some mascara on your lashes and a little bit of rouge on your cheeks.

You couldn’t wait for Dylan to pick you up. The excitement was too much for you so you slipped into your converse and walked down the stairs to get out of the building and waited outside on the bench for Dylan to arrive. 

Your phone beeped, a message from Dylan appeared on your lock screen saying that he was on his way. You put your phone away and stared at the small park in front of you. 

Mrs. Robbins from the building next to yours crossed your way and smiled at you. “Hey Y/N. How are you doing?” the old lady asked as she stopped in front of you. 

“I’m doing fine, thanks for asking. How’s your little dog? I’ve heard that he went through surgery the other day. Poor little guy.”

“Yes, poor little Tucker. He broke his leg and they had to implant to plates. But he’s doing better every day” she replied as she let go of her small trolley that she pulled behind her. “You should come over some time and have a drink with me. Tucker would be so happy to see you again.”

“That’d be nice” you smiled and turned your head when you heard a honk. Mrs. Robbins turned around as well and saw Dylan leaning out of the car’s window. 

“Oh, is he your boyfriend? He’s gorgeous.”

You laughed as you stood up. “No, he’s not. I just met him the other day. But yes, he’s gorgeous, isn’t he?”

“Go catch him, Y/N. I’ll see you around.”

You laughed at the older woman as she walked away and got up from the bench to walk to Dylan’s black Audi. He unlatched the doors for you to hop in and put the gear back to drive as you closed the passenger’s door.

“Hey Y/N” Dylan greeted you with a soft and warm smile. 

“Hi, thanks for texting me by the way” you replied and put the seat belt on. Dylan hummed and turned the next one left. “It was really nice talking to you on Tuesday, so I guess meeting you again was no other option for me” he laughed and rubbed the back of his head where his black baseball cap didn’t cover his head. You stared at him a little longer. The black shirt was loose on his corpse but tight enough to show the soft muscles on his arms. His hands were veiny, just like you remembered from all the pictures on the internet. His scruff was slowly growing to a 5-o’clock shadow, covering the moles on his cheeks.

“So you’re a Mets fan?” you asked the dark haired boy.

“Absolutely! Always have been and I’m never going to turn my back to them. What about you?”

“Los Angeles Angels” you replied simply.

“What? Come on!”

“I grew up here. It’s in my blood to be an Angels fan” you laughed as Dylan shook his head.

“I think I might regret my decision to meet with you again” he groaned and looked at you. He grabbed his sunglasses and pulled them down on his nose so you could see his eyes and blinked at you. “Just kidding.”

“I know you are. Well, I hope.”

“So… where are we going to anyway?” you questioned him after a few minutes in silence. Dylan stopped at a red light and turned down the radio before he answered, “I thought we could take a walk along the Los Liones Trial, if that’s okay for you. We could grab some food on our way?”

“I love Los Liones. My grandfather took me to the trial when I was younger. We always sat on this one particular bench and ate grandma’s sandwiches. Ugh, those were the best, I swear!”

“So I guess food sound nice then?”

“Definitely.”

“Mike Deli #1 for you and Italian Submariner for me” Dylan said as he hopped back in the car. He passed the bag with the sandwiched from Mike’s Deli to you and started the car. You sniffed at the bag and closed your eyes as the smell of fresh sandwiches filled your nose. “This smells so delicious! Can’t we eat them now?”

“No, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes and sank down in your seat, feeling too comfortable around him already. He never made you feel uncomfortable or unwanted. He always kept the conversations going and he was easy to talk to. It felt like you two knew each other longer than just a few days with him making jokes and using sarcasm all the time.

“I’ll warn you! If you don’t drive faster, I’ll eat the sandwiches before we arrive. Mine and yours!”

“Don’t you dare!” Dylan muttered and squirmed his eyes together, trying to look serious but burst out in laughter as he saw your face. You joined him and held your stomach due to the high amount of laughter.

“God, my stomach hurts” you giggled with the bag full of sandwiches pressed to your tummy. “You better hurry, for real. I’m getting hungry.”

You and Dylan made it to Los Liones in a matter of time. Dylan parked the car at the Topanga State Park on the right side of the cul-de-sac at the end of Los Liones Drive. A big sign leading to the entrance. You two jumped out of the car, Dylan grabbing the bag from you, while you closed the passenger door behind you.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you asked Dylan as you took in the beauty of nature.

You always loved the nature. There’s a rare placidity. Nothing glaring or provocative. Heaven and earth are like a transparent spider web and everything seems to feel good. The landscape is delightful like a lullaby that always soothes you.

“It truly is,” Dylan snapped you out of your trance.  

You lowered your peaceful rump onto the cushion of grass. No one would raise an objection even if you choose to stay sitting there for the next five or six days. That is the wonderful thing about the natural world; while on the one hand it has neither pity nor remorse, on the other, it is neither fickle nor arbitrary in its dealing with people – it treats all differently alike.

Dylan dropped down next to you, placed the sandwiches on his lap and opened the bag to take out the delicious sandwiches. Thanking him, you grabbed yours and waited for him until you unwrapped your Mike Deli #1.

“So tell me something about yourself, Y/N. I’m pretty sure you know more about me than I know about you” Dylan  requested after a few minutes, the two of you enjoying your lunch in silence.

“There’s not much to tell you. My full name is Y/N Y/L/N. I went to UCLA to do my master in architecture, I got my degree two years ago but I haven’t been working since then. I had a part time job here and there until I got diagnosed. So there’s nothing special about me.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s more about you, but if you don’t feel comfortable enough to tell me yet, I can wait” Dylan smiled. “But may I ask how old you are?”

“I just turned 26 a few days back” you revealed.

“So it was your birthday then? When? I’d be glad to celebrate your birthday with you today.”

“24st April, last Tuesday. I spent the day together with my grandma and two of my closest friends. My grandma baked my favorite pie, a coconut custard pie and being the awkward grandma she is always, she put 26 candles on it” you groaned and rolled your eyes as you remembered the wax running down the candles because Amelia, one of your best friends forced you to make a wish but the only wish that came to your mind was that cancer wouldn’t exist, so you just pretended like you wished for something real and blew the candles.

“I already like your granny.”

“She’s like my second mother, she’s always there for me and she’s not that old so we actually go shopping together most of the time. She’s turning 69 in a few months… you know, my grandma always teases me for not having any kids yet. I know, I’m still young but my grandma got my mom when she was 22 and well, I was born when my mom just turned 20. My dad was her high school crush all along and somehow she ended being pregnant when she was 17 and that’s when my ass brother was born. They moved together a married shortly after.”

“See, there is plenty of information for me to take in. And we have something in common, being the younger sibling” he laughed as he laid back, propped on his elbows. “Everyone says that being the younger twin would bring you so many benefits but that’s wrong. Julia was always the sweet little angel. She blamed everything on me, her stupid little brother but I still loved her then and I still do.”

You mimicked his movements and laid yourself back on you elbows as well after you finished your sandwich, Dylan being way faster than you since you talked so much. “That’s true. I always got compared to Andrew and all of my teachers associated me with my brother. And let me tell you, he wasn’t the well-behaved one.” 

“God” he groaned and dropped on his back completely, “I totally get what you say. But it was the complete opposite for me. My sister was the nerdy one in school and I was the rebel. So you can guess what my teachers saw in me.”

“Pretty sure it wasn’t love” you smiled and stood back up, holding your hand out for Dylan to grab and helping him up. “Let’s go or we won’t be back until the sun sets.”

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Part 3 is right here!